#what is wrong with him (both derogatory and affectionate)

[iicraft505]

I think kissing a 9-year-old full on the lips is worse but encouraging an 8-year-old's age-inappropriate crush by kissing him on the cheek is also a little fucked up. Chase captures my feelings exactly.

[captorcorp]

he has 97 ethics violations and is banned from most psychiatric facilities

[bountycancelled]

something more than friends

(lucy gray baird x reader)

tip me on kofi if you feel so inclined

requested: yep, I hope you like it anon♡

content: a little bit of angst but mainly fluff, men (derogatory), kinda lovesick!lucy gray, jealous lucy gray (we love to see it), pretty intense description of kissing but no smut.

warnings: a very brief mention of drinking, internalised homophobia but it doesn't last long, gay stuff (duh), lowercase intended I know boo I'm annoying.

a/n: I haven't read the book yet so idk much about the covey so their appearance may ooc but that's solely due to my lack of knowledge on them

lucy gray baird never faltered when she sang.

there were very few things that could get under her skin when she was on that stage, strumming her guitar and twirling in her skirt as the district folk stomped along to the beat.

sure, sometimes drunkards and the occasional hung up ex would try to cause a scene, attempting to gain her attention from below, but she would simply roll her eyes, waiting for someone to take care of them so that she could go back to doing what she did best. performing.

so what exactly had happened to make the lucy gray baird, forget a line in a song?

she was quick to remedy her mistake, carrying the tune in such a way that most patrons didn't even notice her mess up. but ironically enough, the very cause of her brain fog noticed. you.

you gave her a worried look, but she brushed it off, willing herself to continue playing as if nothing was wrong. and technically, nothing was wrong. you were there, in the far back of the crowd, wearing a white dress with a drink in your hand. and Lucy Gray didn't mean to be cliché, but you really did look like an angel, something divine that she had the honour of setting her eyes on.

but obviously, she wasn't the only one who thought that.

you were speaking to some man. which was fine, you were always the most gorgeous girl in the room in her eyes and she knew that she wasn't the only one who appreciated your beauty, you were always needing to awkwardly laugh at men's advances and brush them off as best as you could, but you weren't doing that tonight.

you were laughing, a genuine laugh, leaning in to hear his voice over the music, over her singing. she wanted to jump off of the stage and break her guitar over that assholes face, and she couldn't explain why.

she had always known that one day, you'd settle down with a kind man who cared for you (not nearly as much as she did, but that was okay) and then she would see you less and less. but knowing didn't make the taste in her mouth any more bitter.

the first time you told her about a crush that you had, on a boy named Tom, she spent the whole night convincing you that he just wasn't right for you. you believed her of course, rejecting him swiftly the next week when he asked you to go on a walk with him, walking instead with lucy gray, hand in hand.

but then, she did it every time you spoke about a boy, and you started to believe her less and less. 'I think you're just jealous lucy gray, and you don't anybody taking my attention away from you.'

you were right, she was jealous, and the thought of you, with a man, it disgusted her to her core. which is why she took off as soon as her set ended, not even staying for the applause as she searched for you outside.

there you were, and thankfully, you were alone, no undeserving man in sight.

she ran up to you, her brown eyes seemingly sparkling even in the darkened night. "how'd you enjoy the show, darlin'?"

her heart jumped when you smiled at her, your eyes crinkling in joy as you took both of her hand in yours, squeezing them affectionately. "you have the voice of an angel, lucy gray. and I envy the lucky fella who's gonna marry you, and have to serenade them whenever they want."

lucy gray rolled her eyes in a good natured fashion, trying to ignore the knot in her stomach when you mentioned her getting married. "I already serenade you, sweet thing. and im not gonna let some wedding band stop me."

you laughed airily, leading her by the hand towards the lake, where you spent most nights together. you sat down at the edge, laying your head in her lap when she sat beside you. her hand went to your hair, and she fought the urge to by giddy at the sight of your head in her lap, you were just... perfect.

"who was that guy that you were talking to back then? when I was singing, I mean." she asked, her voice uncharacteristically quiet.

you thought back to about an hour prior, picturing every person that you had been with throughout the evening as you tried to recall who she was asking about in particular. "oh! that was matthew, his dad and my dad go way back, but the two of us never really shared their closeness for whatever reason. but after speaking to him tonight I'm a bit upset that I never tried to grow a friendship with him earlier."

she nodded, her cherry glossed lips pressing into a thin line. "he doesn't just wanna be friends with you though, I could see it." you scoffed playfully, raising a brow at her curiously. "you were all the way up on stage, in the middle of your favourite song to perform, and somehow, you could tell that much from so far away?"

she opened her mouth to defend herself, but after realising just how insane the notion sounded when you phrased it in that way, she quickly closed it again. "I'm not gonna let any man take me away from you, lucy gray, believe me when I say that I can't live without you."

your words sent a fury of butterflies in her stomach, and she swore that felt dizzy as you picked your head up, moving your face so close to hers that your noses were almost touching. she wanted to kiss you. god, what the hell was wrong with her? how could she be thinking of you in this way?

despite her inner conflict, she made no moves to create some distance between your faces, selfishly wanting to stay like this for as long as you'd let her. "I wish we could get married." she sighed, her eyes widening at her own words. "I meant- not like, I didn't mean- not in, like, a husband and wife typa way-"

you cut her off with trying to, with a tilt of your head making her suck in a sharp breath. "you don't wanna do husband and wife things with me?" you asked, and she could swear that your voice had a certain tone about it, one that made her cheeks feel blazing and her breaths shallow.

she shook her head, her usually fierce tone reduced to a meek almost whisper. "we can't do those stuff together."

you were too close for comfort. she could feel the tip of your nose against hers and if you leaned in any further, she was sure that she would combust. "who cares if we can't? the more important question is, do you want to?"

inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. she had forgotten how to breath. this wasn't right, she knew that, so why were her lips on yours in a flash, her hands in your hair, around your waist, holding your hands, touching any part of you that she could reach as the two of you kissed? in public, no less?

she couldn't find it in her mind to stop, not when your soft, sweet lips moved in tandem with hers as if you were molded to fit each other. when you pulled away, with lucy gray chasing your lips with an involuntary whine, you held her by the shoulders, a look of concern on your face.

that was when she felt it. the guilt knawing at her stomach, and the tears that flowed down her face. was she crying because of how overwhelming her feelings were for you? maybe it was because she knew that you would have to hide... whatever had just happened between the two of you.

you leaned your forehead against hers, you sweet voice easing her fear. "I love you." she nodded, not being able to say it back just yet, but she could only hope that you knew. she moved to kiss you again, being startled out of her mind by a girlish scream in the distance.

it was maude ivory, eyes wide and hand slapped over her mouth in shock, with an equally suprised tam amber standing next to her. lucy gray felt sick to her stomach.

"I knew it." tam Amber said with a shrug, moving to sit next to the two fo you as she stared out at the moonlit lake. "no one looks at their friend like how lucy gray looks at you."

"can I be the flower girl? and the maid of honour? and the priest?" maude ivory rambled, laying half in lucy grays lap and half in yours. you simply laughed, explaining that her dream wasn't exactly possible but flower girl was certainly doable as lucy gray watched, tears threatening to fall from her eyes once again. only this time, they were of relief.

the joy she felt in her chest, at the thought that you could be... together in front of the covey was the best gift she could possibly be given. you and her, together. not just as best friends. although it was hard to wrap her head around it, she knew that it was exactly what she wanted and she had it on good authority that you wanted it too.

[sakuradust111]

The Gavin Brothers And Their Desire To 'Be Right': A Short Analysis

[This post will discuss personality and behavior that spoils Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney!!!]

After completing AA4 with my dear friends for the second time, I thought about some observations about the Gavin brothers, Klavier (affectionate) and Kristoph (derogatory), and just how different the two are... and yet similar in motive all the same.

Now, I know what you're thinking. They can't possibly be the same because of what they've done, how they've behaved. Klavier, a prosecutor/rock star who walks the walk with the brightest smile not even given by the stage alone, and Krostoph, the 'Coolest Defense In The West' who ended up enacting a 7 year long streak of paranoia because he wanted to take not just another attorney down, but everyone with him that was involved. Just so he could be clean.

Pretty opposite, right?

But let's think a little deeper, peeling back the layers of motive for why they both do what they do. If we look far deeper, explore their psyche and methods of behavior, we'll find that they're closer than they might appear.

Simply put, the Gavins have the desire to 'Be Right'.

Imagine you're watching an argument with two people. One person is explaining the facts coolly, explaining their side of the argument with patience to try and make their stance. The other person is not having it, yelling as loud as they can and getting in the face of the first person to get their way. Both of these people want to 'be right' in their argument, but for different reasons. The same applies to Klavier and Kristoph.

Klavier and Kristoph, simply put, are excellent when it comes to the duality of emotional maturity, development, and the potential of stagnancy.

Not once do you see klavier trying to be manipulative or false about trials. NOT ONCE. The most Klavier does is be the typical prosecutor and find arguments he thinks will lead him closer to the truth. Because that's what he values most! He values being right, but not in the sense of being selfish or vain. because being correct, in his eyes, isn't about himself. it's not about him. very selfless, actually. He wants to Do Good, and desires correctness and fairness.

Kristoph, on the other hand, cares about being right for all the wrong reasons. For him, it's a matter of superiority. We've seen how little he cares about other people and their well-being; he started a whole scheme just because he felt someone 'less than him' was selected to be a lawyer. Being correct is a show of power. It's akin to Manfred von Karma's win streak, and how WILLING he was to do whatever it takes to keep that win streak alive.

Except, of course, Kristoph is far more calculated than Manfred and that's what is so consuming about him. Manfred is pretty much the equivalent of wearing your heart on your sleeve, presenting your methods outright. Everyone essentially knew that he'd be willing to do anything, and everyone talks about it. But Kristoph was literally playing the long game just to win. Manfred is different because he played the players. Kristoph was actually watching the rules and playing the game.

Klavier particularly catches my attention because anything you hear him say in trial are,, pretty valid arguments. Mean-spirited? Never really that far. He does make little quips here and there, and Herr Forehead is one of the names ever to call someone in court, but again, he hopes he's right because that'll make the truth come to light for everyone.

And again, I will say this is not how it worked for Kristoph. At all.

So, my two cents on the Gavins is that it's an astounding display of the two sides on a coin of justice. Klavier was close to pure justice as we can get in prosecution. Kristoph was essentially pure darkness, and a splotch on the world of the defense. And yet, they had the same idea in their heads, or at least a similar one. Be Right.

[ihareyhis]

Spideys as incorrect quotes pt2

Hobie: *Kicks the door down*

Pavitr: What did you do?

Hobie: Nobody died.

Pavitr: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

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Miguel: What do you call disobeying the law?

The Squad: A hobby.

Miguel: *crosses their arms*

The Squad: That we do not engage in

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Pavitr: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this?

Hobie: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

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Pavitr, pointing at Hobie: Are they a Freak (derogatory)?

Pavitr, pointing at Gwen: Or a Freak (affectionate)?

Miles: Why not both?

Pavitr, to Miles: You’re so right, Freak

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Pavitr: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

Hobie: *crouches down*

Gwen: *kneels down*

Miles: *sits on the floor*

Pavitr: I hate you all

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Miles: How do Hobie and Pavitr usually get out of these messes?

Gwen: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

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Gwen: Hey Pavitr.

Pavitr: *punches Gwen in the stomach*

Gwen: What the fuck?

Pavitr: You are one of my very best friends. And I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like this. You're too young....YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL!

Gwen: What the fuck are you talking about?

Pavitr: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now.

Gwen: I'm not pregnant!

Pavitr: Well, not after that punch you're not. I've been taking muay thai classes.

Gwen: I was never pregnant, Pavitr!

Pavitr: Are... you sure?

Gwen: Yes I'm fucking sure!

Hobie: I'm sorry, but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here?

Pavitr: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and—

Hobie: *punches Gwen in the stomach*

Gwen: AW, MOTHERFU–

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Gwen: Today at 7 am, Pavitr poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing.

Hobie: I watched him brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm.

Miles: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me

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Miles: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

Pavitr: Put spaghetti in it.

Miles: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.

Hobie: Put spaghetti in it.

Miles: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.

Gwen: Put spaghetti in it.

Miles: I am no longer taking suggestions.

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Pavitr: What’s up with Gwen? she’s been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Hobie: She’s just a little overwhelmed.

Pavitr: Why?

Hobie: Miles smiled at her.

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Hobie, Gwen & Miles: *screaming*

Pavitr: *runs into the room* Miles whats wrong?!

Hobie: Wait, why are you asking Miles that when Gwen and I are also here?

Pavitr: Because Miles wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

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Hobie: What’s your biggest fear?

Gwen: That I’ll never be good enough for anyone.

Miles: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.

Pavitr: Zombies.

Gwen: ...

Miles: ...

Pavitr: BUT they can open doors.

[babygirlspurgeon]

aka welcome to the minnesota wild as shania twain songs! this is a many months long passion project @alshaverpressbox and i have been pecking away at but here on the eve of a fresh season we are ready to share! 

daemon hunt - man! i feel like a woman!

i bet you’re wondering how this all started….. mr hunt mentioned this was his karaoke song and well, it spiraled into the rest of this. we thank you for your service sir 🫡

wild fans - you’re still the one, i’m holdin’ on to love (to save my life)

love is stored in wildblr ❤️

jon merrill - i ain’t no quitter

is he the best at hockey? no but he is for mullets & gays <3

jake middleton - you win my love, party for two

there's no speed limit/just go faster, faster, don't be slow/rev it up, rev it up 'til your engine blows (please watch this music video with him in mind i beg)

brock faber - rock this country, no one needs to know

i just know he also screams the minnesota mention in rock this country. also was sad to realize months too late how good of a brock for calder song it is

matt boldy - the woman in me (needs the man in you)

i'm not always strong/and sometimes i'm even wrong/but i win when i choose/and i can't stand to lose

joel eriksson ek - honey, i’m home, gonna getcha good, giddy up

most persecuted girl in the world who deserves a good foot rub and a lil snack

marcus foligno - i’m not in the mood (to say no), party for two

ain’t no need to plan it, jump right in and jam it also yes party for two is for both middsy and moose and they’re singing it to spurge. they're cool fun guys who bring the party what more is there to say?

marat khusnutdinov - ain’t no particular way 

welcome to minnesota get loved bitch

marco rossi - up!, i’m jealous 

nice young man who’s persevered with mild antics for his goalie that he’s totally normal about

zach bogosian - you lay a whole lotta love on me

beefcake..... i can feel your body tuggin' gently on my mind/stirring up a feeling i thought i'd never find

jonas brodin - love gets me every time, don't be stupid (you know i love you)

really need to hear “i gol’ darn gone and done it” come out of this man’s mouth Right Now

liam ohgren - wanna get to know you (that good)

don't wanna miss a minute/wanna be right in it/do everything you're doing/go everywhere you're going

marc-andre fleury - legends never die, when you kiss me 

feel very normal about our record setting goalie really really liking us

jesper wallstedt - thank you baby (for makin’ someday come so soon)

he's here........

filip gustavsson - what a way to wanna be!

giving "android in the group chat" giving nobody’s perfect by hannah montana

mats zuccarello - you've got a way

when your hockey soulmate shows up and your career revitalizes.....

ryan hartman - whatever you do! don’t!

hartzy is soooo normal about kirill as we all know

jared spurgeon - any man of mine, from this moment, come on over

i do indeed give my hand you with all my heart.....

declan chisholm - white claw

so when he calls/say fuck it all

freddy gaudreau - i won’t leave you lonely 

soft song..... soft man....

marcus johansson - c’est la vie

hold tight, it comes right eventually

jakub lauko - (if you’re not in it for love) i’m outta here

passing this vibe check with flying colors btw

kirill kaprizov - she’s not just a pretty face, that don’t impress me much

she's got everything it takes, and yeah she thinks you're alright but that won't keep her warm in the middle of the night.... he is That Bitch

nordy - juanita 

nordy save us, save us nordy

billy g - whose bed have your boots been under?

you never know with that bitch...

gone but never forgotten (affectionate and derogatory)

mason shaw - forever and for always

and there ain't no way/i'm letting you go now

charlie coyle and jason zucker - when

zoyle will be reuninted one day right? right????

brandon duhaime and connor dewar - in my car (I’ll be the driver), if it don’t take two

if i'm not with you/no it ain't worth goin' through/if it don't take two

matt dumba - it only hurts when i’m breathing

do i think about dumbs talking about how he and jimmy wanted to be around til the reds came back all the time? perhaps

dean evason - i ain’t going down

her smile got me through the years/dried away the tears/it filled me with hope

pat maroon - is there life after love?

answer: there is not life after love. at least not for patty "chicago" maroon

kevin fiala - nah!

yeah, that's it (that's all), we had fun (we had a ball)/it was good while it lasted, but now i'm past it

parise and suter - ka-ching

dig deeper in your pocket, come on, i know you’ve got it <- them to chuck fletcher

[coff-in]

hii, I had made a request earlier but idk if you had got it, so I'm writing again just to be safe.

earlier I had a thought about how would Andrew be with a overly affectionate younger brother(reader)...? Like Andy and said younger brother would be cuddling on the couch watching some shitty movie Ashley had put on and she keeps glancing over to keep tabs on Andy and their her older siblings, knowing she can't do anything about it. So later that night when Andy gets his "nightmares" he crawls into his younger brothers bed while he's still awake because he can't sleep, so reader starts teasing Andy, and they take it from there 🤭

notes from coff-in: I DID GET YOUR PREVIOUS ASK AND IM KEEPING IT FOREVER!!! /positive what's better than incest? therapy and gay incest. LET ANDREW AND ASHLEY BE BI OR SOMETHING PLEASE!!! sorry. i'm losing myself rn, please enjoy what i have cooked up. this is also a ramble, i'm in a rambling mood rn

[masc] reader-insert, [reader] is younger than ashley by about one year, NSFW, incest, dry-humping

omg imagine if andrew liked boys :3 that's it send tweet. i wonder if andrew would have conflicting emotions about his feelings towards his brother since that's his brother you know? like, especially if he still has his incestuous feelings towards ashley, would he feel bad if he had them towards [reader], too? god, he is such a sis/sibcon. just some food for thought you know? (especially if he's dating julia around this time, omg. he goes on dates with julia while thinking about ashley or something and when he's at home he's getting real close and comfy with his baby brother-- poor julia)

i think an overly affectionate (especially physically) little brother would be kinda perfect for andrew. he definitely shows his love threw physical touch whether it's playing with his hair or holding his hand or pulling him close. there's also that added layer to their dynamic that they're both boys/guys, there's nothing wrong with them being shirtless or naked in the same room with each other and such. andrew could brush off their closeness as just them being brothers, this is normal for them cause they're brothers, nothing weird about this at all.

ashley being jelly of her baby bro is so silly to me omg. she presses herself to andrew's other side while they all watch a movie together but she still glances at andrew's arm draped around [reader], playing with his hair, or how [reader]'s probably laying his head on andrew's lap. ashley's not mad (maybe a little concerned because if andrew is exclusively attracted to guys that could be an avenue of control she loses access to) but she's letting it be known that she wants attention too.

later that night, [reader]'s in bed probably just staring at the ceiling or listening to the clock tick by to try to go to sleep. he looks over and sees andrew standing above them and he automatically lifts up his blanket to welcome him under. andrew encompasses [reader] in his arms and holds himself close to him while [reader] teases him, "do you need your little brother to help you sleep? poor andrew, it's okay. i'm here for you." and then, AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN

[reader] places a little kiss on his cheek. "there, there. all better, see?"

andrew is just like "wh-what the fuck? you can't just--" "why not? it's just a little kiss on the cheek. moms and dads give kisses on the cheek in movies." AAAUGH!!! love them love them love them. the cuddling turns into like a light makeout session, with [reader] and andrew kissing each other anywhere BUT the lips. just light pecks here and there, you know like brothers do.

time passes of them doing this and it evolves into rubbing against each other. at some point whenever andrew lets go and just fucking admits that he's a little incestuous freak (non-derogatory) he just starts humping [reader]. first while they're laying next to each other spooning but one point he gets on top of him and starts humping him like a dog, "ah- ugh- good boy... fuck..." "doesn't this feel better, andrew?" "yeah... it feels- uhg-- much much better now."

im absolute shit with dialogue but please see my vision, i beg of you. also thank you for bringing this to me. this was honestly so delicious

(no joke while writing this i was listening to an audio from reddit about a femboy little brother being used as a substitute for his big brother's girlfriend and OH MY GOODNESS)

embrace and indulge

----

coff-in

[harry-hollands]

who does it better?

alex turcotte x f!hockey player smau

for all my alex turcotte lovers 🫶🏼: @hischierhaze @babydollmarauders

*PICTURES FOUND ON PINTEREST AND INSTAGRAM*

authors notes: reader is born in 2003 (2 years younger than alex, same year as luke hughes), takes place in 2025

*the girls in the pictures are not a depiction of you; they are merely placeholders bc my goal is to have you imagine yourself 🫶🏼*

WARNINGS: hate on an unspecified national team (you can imagine whatever country that team is from except team canada LOL), team canada (both men and women) wins bronze, soft and hard launches, language, relationships

part 2 (can be read as a standalone)

yourusername

liked by badgerwhockey, yourbsf, and 3,876 others

yourusername: off to a strong start 🫡

tagged yourbsf, kevinfiala22, badgerwhockey, lakings

view comments

mattboldy: why?

yourusername: @/mattboldy why what?

mattboldy: @/yourusername the last pic???

yourusername: @/mattboldy i’m a die hard kings fan and kevin fiala is my spirit animal

mattboldy: @/yourusername you need therapy

yourusername: @/mattboldy im my own therapist 🫶🏼

badgerwhockey: our favorite goalie

liked by yourusername

yourbsf: my teletubby !!! (affectionate) 🥹🫶🏼

yourusername: @/yourbsf my walking shin destroyer (derogatory)🥹🫶🏼

fan1: aint no way yn was referred to as a teletubby 😭

fan2: @/fan1 they’re so unserious i love them

fan15: kings fan confirmed??

yourusername: @/fan15 this is old news, why do you think my number is 32?

edwards.73: i stand by my statement that you’d look better in maize and blue

yourusername: @/edwards.73 you’re biased. and wrong. definitely wrong.

edwards.73: @/yourusername but you’d see me more often !

yourusername: @/edwards.73 all the more reason to stay! hope this helps 🫶🏼

markestapa: @/edwards.73 HAH

lhughes_06: eddy is wrong. red is definitely your color

yourusername: @/lhughes_06 you’re just biased because you wear red.

lhughes_06: @/yourusername no comment

yourusername: @/lhughes_06 i also distinctly remember you calling me every night practically begging me to transfer because and i quote, “wisco doesn’t need you, we do!”

lhughes_06: @/yourusername nuh uh!

yourusername: @/lhughes_06 you’re a fucking child

dylanduke25: goalie, noun; In ice hockey, the goaltender is the player responsible for preventing the hockey puck from entering their team's net, thus preventing the opposing team from scoring. The goaltender mostly plays in or near the area in front of the net called the goal crease.

yourusername: @/dylanduke25 pest, noun; an annoying person or thing; a nuisance. (affectionate)

dylanduke25: @/yourusername ☹️

yourusername: @/dylanduke25 AFFECTIONATE ITS AFFECTIONATE PLEASE DONT CRY

dylanduke25: @/yourusername 🤭

yourusername: @/dylanduke25 bitch. (AFFECTIONATE)

trevorzegras: red is definitely your color, just the wrong school

yourusername: @/trevorzegras oh im sorry i thought a college dropout said something to me

trevorzegras: @/_alexturcotte @/yourusername are all of you wisco students mean or just you two?

_alexturcotte: @/trevorzegras @/yourusername we’re nice! just not to you!

yourusername: @/trevorzegras @/_alexturcotte hope this helps college dropout 🫶🏼

trevorzegras: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte ALEX IS A COLLEGE DROPOUT! WE SPENT THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME IN COLLEGE

yourusername: @/trevorzegras @/_alexturcotte and i like him better than you

trevorzegras: @/yourusername 🤨

_alexturcotte: hey we have a lot in common i think we’d get along great!

colecaufield: @/_alexturcotte stop the madness

yourusername: @/colecaufield @/_alexturcotte nono let the man speak!

_alexturcotte: @/colecaufield @/yourusername yeah let the man speak!

colecaufield: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte 🤠

_alexturcotte: @/yourusername well, we both attended wisco, you’re a kings fan, which hey what a coincidence, im a kings player, and i know kevin fiala and can introduce you two!

yourusername: @/_alexturcotte interesting points, i’ll get back to you in a few business days

yourusername

liked by _alexturcotte, colecaufield and 4,917 others

yourusername: national champs and b1g 10 champs baby ! im so unbelievably proud of these girls and everything we’ve accomplished. not only are we back to back b1g 10 champs but we played our hearts out and got the national title too!

thank you wisco for being my home for four years, and thank you to this team who’ve made me the player and person i’ve always strived to be.

to the gophers, you played an outstanding game and im proud of the hard fought game you guys gave me.

next time i see you girls, we’ll be competing for worlds and some of us will be separated but that doesn’t mean it’s the end. LA and worlds, here i come 🫶🏼

tagged badgerwhockey, gopherwhockey, b1ghockey

view comments

yourbsf: i cant believe you’re graduating 😭

yourusername: @/yourbsf i cant either 🥺

yourbsf: @/yourusername i also can’t believe *they* convinced you to move back to california 🤨

yourusername: @/yourbsf what can i say? the offer was enticing 🫡

fan32: i’m violently ill. i can’t believe it’s been 4 years already, and she’s leaving 😭

fan15: AHHHH CONGRATULATIONS!!!

_alexturcotte: im so unbelievably proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. glad to see that my negotiation skills payed off :)

yourusername: @/_alexturcotte it was an easy decision, i get my favorite canadians as roommates! best deal ever! @/jordanjs224 @/francesco.pinelli71 @/quintonbyfield @/brandtclarke55

yourusername: @/_alexturcotte but also, thank yous 🥹🫶🏼

_alexturcotte: @/yourusername i should’ve seen that one coming. but also, you’re welcome <3

jordanjs224: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte ROOMIES

francesco.pinelli71: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte ROOMIES

quintonbyfield: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte ROOMIES

brandtclarke55: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte ROOMIES

colecaufield: CONGRATULATIONS! BADGER NATION UNITE! THAT’S MY FAVORITE GOALIE RIGHT THERE! 🫶🏼

slknight35: @/colecaufield excuse me? 🤨

colecaufield: @/sknight35 uhh…gotta run!

yourusername: @/colecaufield THANK YOU! THAT’S MY FAVORITE FUNSIZED FORWARD <33

slknight35: @/yourusername @/colecaufield HAH! you’re my new favorite person

colecaufield: @/yourusername @/slknight35 i don’t like this 🤠

yourusername: @/colecaufield tough shit cockfield

badgerwhockey: unbelievably proud of you! thank you for four amazing years and helping us get back to back b1g 10 champs and back to back national titles. we’ll miss you endlessly ❤️

yourusername: @/badgerwhockey admin 🥹🫶🏼

lhughes_06: THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND!!

markestapa: @/lhughes_06 *OUR

edwards.73: @/lhughes_06 @/markestapa ^^

dylanduke25: @/lhughes_06 @/markestapa ^^

luca.fantilli: @/lhughes_06 @/markestapa ^^

adamfantilli: @/lhughes_06 @/markestapa ^^

yourusername: @/lhughes_06 @/markestapa i think im crying harder then i have ever cried in my life 🥹

erikportillo: 🤩

liked by yourusername

trevorzegras: 🫡

yourusername: @/trevorzegras a man of many words, the enemy of silence people

jackhughes: you’re way out of his league

fan38: @/jackhughes jack??? what do you mean???

_quinnhughes: @/jackhughes the only thing we can agree on

_alexturcotte: @/jackhughes @/_quinnhughes to be fair i don’t think anyone is on her level.

fan39: @/_alexturcotte ALEX???

yourusername: @/jackhughes no im just out of your league

_quinnhughes: @/yourusername welcome to the family you’re my new favorite hughes!

lhughes_06: @/_quinnhughes @/yourusername i would be offended but honestly? real. she’s already mom’s favorite. she said that her and dad were booking flights to watch her at worlds

kevinfiala22: congrats 🎉❤️

yourusername: @/kevinfiala22 oh.

_alexturcotte

liked by yourusername, quintonbyfield and 20,277 others

_alexturcotte: two teams, two world titles, two gold medals, one nation, and my girl

tagged usahockey, trevorzegras, arthurkaliyev34

view comments

fan32: the way alex included the women’s team too 😭

fan15: did not see alex soft launching his relationship on my bingo card for this year

trevorzegras: mr. game winner

_alexturcotte: @/trevorzegras mr. tournament point leader

jackhughes: @/trevorzegras @/_alexturcotte i’m mr. goal leader

_alexturcotte: @/jackhughes this ain’t about you

jackhughes: @/_alexturcotte BETRAYAL. BETRAYAL EVERYWHERE.

_alexturcotte: @/jackhughes i still love you babe 🫶🏼

usahockey: history. made.

liked by _alexturcotte, jackhughes, trevorzegras, colecaufield, yourusername, _quinnhughes, lhughes_06, and arthurkaliyev34

fan38: highlight of the men’s tournament is when the announcers practically had an aneurysm with jack, quinn, and luke on the ice 😭

fan39: @/fan38 my highlight was watching the guys get excited watching the gold medal game for the women. luke and alex (and a good chunk of the canadian men) looked like children in a candy shop watching yn make saves

colecaufield: WOAH WOAH WOAH (first proud of us) WHO THE FUCK?

yourusername: @/colecaufield language cockfield!

colecaufield: @/yourusername sorry i mean WHOMST THE FUCK?

yourusername: @/colecaufield yeah, okay.

_alexturcotte: @/colecaufield proud of us too!

colecaufield: @/_alexturcotte NO NO NO WHO IS THAT IN THE LAST PICTURE ???

_alexturcotte: @/colecaufield yes.

yourusername: we did that <3

_alexturcotte: @/yourusername we did, and im proud of us beyond comprehension <3

francesco.pinelli71: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte whats going on here ? 🤨

quintonbyfield: @/francesco.pinelli71 @/_alexturcotte @/yourusername young love 🥺

francesco.pinelli71: @/quintonbyfield that’s crazy 💀

brandtclarke55: thank god you you both kicked *their* asses

jordanjs224: @/brandtclarke55 me and my homies hate *them*

yourusername: @/brandtclarke55 @/jordanjs224 i aim to please 🫡

lakings: 🥇 👑 🏒 🥅

liked by arthurkaliyev34, _alexturcotte, quintonbyfield, francesco.pinelli71, jordanjs224, and brandtclarke55

fan5: history was made for both team canada and team usa. both men and women for canada won bronze while both men and women for the united states won gold. im going to sob oh my god 😭

fan32: @/fan5 i’ve been crying since the conclusion of the men’s tournaments 🥹

usahockey

liked by yourusername, _alexturcotte and 153,839 others

usahockey: In honor of our men and women making history by both winning gold at the World Championships this past weekend, we highlight two players of the tournament, goaltender Y/N Y/LN, and center Alex Turcotte. The two of them both attended the University of Wisconsin and played for their respective hockey teams.

Y/N Y/LN spent four years with the Wisconsin Badgers and helped lead the women’s team to 3 consecutive B1G 10 Championship Titles (2023, 2024, and 2025), and 3 consecutive NCAA Championship Titles (2023, 2024, and 2025).

In the tournament, Y/LN had a .937 save percentage, and a 1.42 GAA, which propelled the U.S to a gold medal and a world title.

Alex Turcotte only spent one year with the Wisconsin Badgers and had 9 goals and 17 assists for 26 points in 29 games played.

Turcotte turned pro in 2020, and unfortunately dealt with a few setbacks with illness and injury before having a breakout year in the 2023-2024 NHL season. He is now a core member of the LA Kings alongside roommates, Francesco Pinelli, Quinton Byfield, Jordan Spence, and Brandt Clarke, all of whom also participated in the World Championships and won the Bronze medal for Team Canada.

Now comes the debate we all have been waiting for:

Who did it better? Y/N Y/LN or Alex Turcotte? Let us know down below.

tagged yourusername, _alexturcotte, badgermhockey, badgerwhockey

view comments

fan32: Y/N is the only correct answer. if you think anything else, that’s your opinion, but your opinion is wrong

fan15: im a huge turcs lover but Y/N absolutely did it better. she could literally wear a trash bag and she’d still look like a bombshell.

liked by _alexturcotte

fan15: TURCS???

yourbsf: Y/N 100%. she’s my wife and this is my biased opinion coming from a 100% certified turcs hater.

yourusername: @/yourbsf i love you 😭🫶🏼

trevorzegras: Y/N. it’s not even a competition. HAVE YOU SEEN HER???

_quinnhughes: @/trevorzegras the only time i’ll ever agree with you

jamie.drysdale: @/_quinnhughes real.

trevorzegras: @/_quinnhughes i expected this from you. but @/jamie.drysdale FUCKING OFFENDED???

colecaufield: as much as i love alex it’s Y/N 100% 😭

liked by yourusername and _alexturcotte

lhughes_06: Y/N. no fucking competition.

edwards.73: @/lhughes_06 on behalf of everyone i think we can all agree that it’s Y/N no debate.

markestapa: @/lhughes_06 @/edwards.73 FR

yourusername: @/markestapa @/edwards.73 @/lhughes_06 my favorite and forever hype men 🥹

jackhughes: alex, buddy, you’re a stud, but i’d be fucking lying if i said that you do it better

yourusername:@/jackhughes ew you’re making me feel emotions 🥹

_alexturcotte: @/jackhughes @/yourusername please ignore her she does in fact feel emotions like a normal person

jackhughes: @/yourusername good. ❤️

francesco.pinelli71: on behalf of the roommates (oh my god and we were roommates) at our household meeting, we all came to the unanimous conclusion that my best friend, Y/N, does in fact, do it better.

quintonbyfield: @/francesco.pinelli71 as a witness to this household meeting, i can in fact, attest to this statement

jordanjs224: @/francesco.pinelli71 even if alex is my boyfriend, i, in good conscience, cannot state that alex did it better. Y/N does and continues to do it better.

brandtclarke55: @/francesco.pinelli71 no one can do it better than Y/N

_alexturcotte: can confirm, Y/N does it better

fan15: @/_alexturcotte WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

fan38: @/_alexturcotte ARE YOU SAYING WHAT I THINK YOU’RE SAYING

yourusername: @/_alexturcotte thank you <33

fan32: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte WHAT IS HAPPENING

yourusername

liked by _alexturcotte, yourbsf, and 39,015 others

yourusername:

“i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it

(anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)” - E.E Cummings

in conclusion, i do it better.

tagged _alexturcotte

comments have been restricted

_alexturcotte: my love <33

liked by yourusername

yourbsf: yeah. okay. im fine 🥹

liked by yourusername

yourbsf: please take care of my girl 🥹

_alexturcotte: @/yourbsf always and forever

yourbsf: @/alexturcotte oh.

francesco.pinelli71: my roommates (my best friend and her boyfriend) 🫶🏼

liked by yourusername, _alexturcotte, quintonbyfield, jordanjs224, brandtclarke55, and lakings

quintonbyfield: my boyfriend and his girlfriend 🥹❤️

yourusername: @/quintonbyfield my boyfriend’s second boyfriend 🫶🏼

quintonbyfield: @/yourusername IM HIS SECOND BOYFRIEND??? @/_alexturcotte explain yourself right now.

_alexturcotte: @/quintonbyfield listen, i got seduced by @/jordanjs224 im sorry you found out this way

jordanjs224: @/_alexturcotte @/quintonbyfield is it me? am i the drama?

jordanjs224: homewreckers stick together 🫶🏼

yourusername: @/jordanjs224 we’re about to be the biggest headache for our boyfriend and roommates 🫶🏼

_alexturcotte: @/yourusername @/jordanjs224 i don’t like this.

jordanjs224: @/yourusername perfect.

_alexturcotte: @/jordanjs224 @/yourusername I REALLY DON’T LIKE THIS

brandtclarke55: MY PARENTS !

yourusername: @/brandtclarke55 MY SON !

_alexturcotte: @/brandtclarke55 @/yourusername that’s not our son

brandtclarke55: @/_alexturcotte @/yourusername ☹️

yourusername: @/brandtclarke55 don’t listen to your father he’s delusional

brandtclarke55: @/yourusername okay mom !

_alexturcotte: @/yourusername 🥲

colecaufield: NO WAY. AM I DREAMING??? IS THIS REAL LIFE?! OH MY GOD. IT’S HAPPENING! IT’S HAPPENED!

yourusername: @/colecaufield IT’S REAL LIFE, BUT COCKFIELD BABY, YOU NEED TO BREATHE BEFORE YOU HYPERVENTILATE

colecaufield: @/yourusername AHHHHHH (my best friend found someone who makes him happy and it happens to be my new best friend 😭🫶🏼)

liked by yourusername, _alexturcotte, lhughes_06, jackhughes, trevorzegras, and _quinnhughes

elblue6: ❤️

liked by _alexturcotte, yourusername, and lhughes_06

lhughes_06: i would kill for yn so tread carefully. i have a full college hockey team willing to do anything for her so consider that before doing anything. i don’t care if you are my billet brother and lived with me for a couple of years.

_alexturcotte: @lhughes_06 🤠🫡

_alexturcotte: i love you my sweet girl. now and forever.

yourusername: @/_alexturcotte i love you too, my love. forever and evers <33

_alexturcotte

liked by yourusername, jordanjs224 and 28,189 others

_alexturcotte:

“You’re where I stand, hearing the sea, crazy for the shore,

seeing the moon ache and fret for the earth.

When morning comes,

the sun, ardent, covers the trees in gold,

you walk towards me,

out of the season, out of the light love reasons.”

- Carol Ann Duffy

she definitely does it better :)

tagged yourusername

comments have been restricted

yourusername: my beautiful boy, thank you for taking a chance on me, and loving me for a little over a year. i know starting a relationship long-distance isn’t ever ideal, but we made it work and because of it we grew stronger. you are my present, and my future, and i can’t wait to see where life takes us, hopefully, together, side by side. i love you to the moon and to saturn <33

_alexturcotte: @/yourusername my beautiful girl, thank you for being there for me when i felt like i was alone. i wasn’t expecting to find someone as ethereal as you, but the universe always finds a way to shine a light when everything is pitch black. you helped me heal mentally through the frustrating setbacks at the start of my NHL career, and for that i have no words to express the gratitude i have for your abundant amounts of patience. you are my future, and i will be content anywhere as long as you are by my side. i love you to the moon and to saturn ❤️

~

a/n: thank you so much for reading !! feedback and reblogs are always appreciated! all my love !!!

-soph <33

[titaniumions]

regarding the story of oliver

so i think oliver fog's anecdote may have unexpectedly become one of my favourites and managed to get me emotionally invested ... so i'd like to talk about a certain aspect of it in more depth

a knight and oliver fog's dynamic definitely was what captivated me the most; through that anecdote we got to watch the progression of the way they interacted with each other, though they may have gotten off on the wrong foot and had a few misunderstandings, they grew to develop true respect for each other, but what makes it unique is the way they BOTH see their respective pasts in each other. it's a mixed bag of memories for them both, yet somehow it ended up becoming a basis for an actually positive bond

oliver already had a rather negative impression of a knight from the start. and the fact that a knight made a joke that directly reminded oliver of his own father--whom oliver wasn't exactly fond of--didn't exactly help make things better between them. however, the experience they had in the forest (which i will touch on more in later paragraphs) certainly improved things, enabling them both to warm up to each other

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY a knight's final gesture toward him, putting his hand on oliver's shoulder to comfort him, is something i find very remarkable, and also symbolic of their development. that was, again, something that directly reminded oliver of his father, but oliver doesn't despise it this time, especially since this happened right after a knight had protected him and given him courage. knight had given oliver a reason to think highly of him. aside from that, he also got oliver to look at life (and death) through a new perspective. a knight could be the more ... positive paternal figure that oliver needed, and with time oliver's perspective on him can definitely shift from "he's just like my father (derogatory)" to "he's just like my father (affectionate)"

now onto a knight's side of things. he never wanted to cause oliver any trouble, and not only felt remorseful, but also had a protective instinct toward him. but most importantly he saw traits of his very own best friend and companion in oliver fog. an interesting but somewhat melancholic basis for a new friendship ...

AND THEN there's the fight scene, the moment where they were surrounded by critters in the forest. while that wasn't exactly something a knight would consider as a severe threat, seeing how swiftly he dealt with it, it sure did serve as a reminder of the roncevaux pass battle where he had died. surrounded by foes, standing side-by-side with an oliver. and again, while this isn't such a severe battle for a knight, to the rather combat-inexperienced oliver fog, this fight could as well have been his "roncevaux pass". there is also the fact that the overwhelming amount of critters reminded oliver of his own fog-related trauma. it's thanks to a knight's steadfastness and combat skills that they ultimately got out of it. a battle that didn't turn out so hopeless this time. a battle in which a knight was able to save someone else

a knight becoming a truly reliable person and offering hope to others, as demonstrated in this anecdote, is a testament to his growth. he was, after all, more reckless and troublesome during his lifetime, but the oliver of a knight's time had helped him grow as a person, and a knight acknowledged this thoroughly. his oliver had always been there for him and acted as his voice of reason, so now it's a knight's turn to be a steadfast and reliable figure to someone else; in this case a younger person to whom he can impart his wisdom and life experiences. in turn, a knight can learn a thing or two from oliver fog as well (and he did!)

i think a knight has become someone whom his oliver would have truly been proud of. there is this statement he made about how oliver will never truly die, which i take to mean as 1) the past oliver's spirit essentially living on through oliver fog and 2) a knight eternally preserving this oliver in his memories all throughout his new life. between the two of them he is the only one who is granted such a chance, after all. death and time may have parted them but memories allow oliver to continue to live on, in a way. either way it's ultimately a nice sentiment, a little bittersweet but a wonderful testament to his appreciation and love for what was once an important part of his past

in conclusion i find them to be an excellent duo. the interaction they had in the anecdote gave them even more depth as characters, as it enabled them to explore the way they think of the past, their personal pasts, and acknowledge the way those pasts define them as they are now. as well as the way they both got to experience something that mirrored both of their respective past experiences, and ended the interaction on a positive note. i am so glad they found each other

P.S.: if oliver fog somehow were to meet the oliver from knight's past, his father figure count would increase by 1. i'm just saying

[third-generation-female-warrior]

As we get closer to the finale of the Bad Batch, I'd like to post something that's been in my head for a while.

I want to take an in-dept look at the theme of the show and how I think that shapes the ending.

Firstly, we'll need to look at the theme of the show.

The Bad Batch is a story about a group of rogue clones who must survive the rise of the Empire. Okay, that's what happens, but that's not the theme.

The theme is what the story is about. The lesson you want your audience to walk away with. It is the singular thing that shapes the character arcs and choices, from the protagonists to the antagonists.

I would argue that the theme of the Bad Batch is, "Our strength comes from our individuality and differences" and "We need to make our own choices and let people make their own choices; blind allegiance is the downfall of us all." There's also an ongoing argument about loyalty, but that's a different rant.

From the beginning, it's all been about individuality, and how stripping that away is wrong. The inhibitor chips was the first overarching plot device to further this argument.

The chips take away the individuality of the clones by making them a part of a monolithic hivemind. Gone are the individuals who fought with the Jedi, and in came the Empire. The sterile, uniform Empire where individuality and free thought is treated as dangerous and treacherous.

Our heroes, the titular Bad Batch, retain their individuality and differences and disobedient streak and are celebrated as a virtue, and, for the most part, do not fall into the trappings of becoming the monolith.

Now let's talk about Crosshair, specifically.

Crosshair, however different, fell into the Empire, thinking he was going to be heralded as better and superior than the other clones. His choice to stay with the Empire was a choice at first, but even when it was, this was treated as bad in the narration. Even if it was his choice, he came to ultimate realization that... no, he's not different than the other clones in the eyes of the Empire. He's not treated different or better. He's a number. He's cannon fodder. His blind allegiance almost led to his death (not for the first time (Bracca, anyone?)). It led to Mayday's death as they both realized too late: "We were good soldiers. We followed orders. And for what?"

So the first choice Crosshair makes for himself? The first free choice that he makes that contradicts the blind allegiance?

He shoots the Lieutenant.

And it was great! Narratively, it was treated as the right move because it was!

Okay, it lands him in Tantiss, but through that series of events, it eventually brought him back to his family. He was redeemed.

Moving on, let's look at another interesting character.

Emerie (beloved)

Dr. Emerie Karr, I would argue, is a woman who never had a choice.

I mean, how could she? Shipped off of Kamino, into the clutches of Hemlock?

Look me in the eyes and tell me that you think Hemlock (derogatory) was an affectionate father-figure to Emerie. Yeah, that's what I thought.

Emerie never had a choice. She was not in the battlefield or even with other clones to learn what her free thoughts were. I would argue she was raised to be afraid of the consequences of what Hemlock would do to her if she stepped "out of line" wherever that was when growing up.

She's constantly warning other clones what happens if they don't cooperate with Hemlock. She's constantly held back by her inability to think for herself.

Until Omega.

Time and time again, Emerie regards Omega as her sister in what way she can, in what little vocabulary she has for such a meaning.

Because Omega, Emerie breaks protocol, just in the little way she can, and returns the straw Lula to her. We see the beginnings of the Imperial bonds start to loosen. It's the first crack in the mirror, so to say, when Omega shows her what it could really be like, to have siblings to love, instead of whatever validation she fights to earn from Hemlock. (There's more on that, but again, another rant, another time.)

It keeps going for Emerie, when she's let into the Vault, all coming to a head when she meets Echo.

"I didn't have a choice," she says. "I've heard that before," he retorts, disbelieving.

She has a choice now, is what's not being said. Do the right thing, make a choice, for once in your life. Don't go along with what the doctor wants.

.

So, what's all this to say?

The ending of the Bad Batch will be dictated by the themes of individuality and free will.

It will all come down to a choice.

Omega, the protagonist, will have to make a choice.

Over this season, in Point of No Return especially, Omega sees how relentlessly the Empire hunts for her. Willing to do anything to get there hands on her.

It's this injustice that makes her angry. She can not let people suffer for her sake.

She won't let her brothers get hurt for her sake.

This drives home the foreshadowing of The Harbinger.

How Ventress warns Crosshair and Hunter, that if Omega was Force-Sensitive, she'd need to leave them to be properly trained.

When Ventress tamed a giant beast with the Force.

I know I'm not alone when I say that I think this will work with Omega's recent discovery of the Zillo Beast, in foreshadowing her and the other kids in the Vault using the Force to "reach out" (which Omega couldn't do with the distraction of her brothers) and tame the beast into wrecking the base and eating Hemlock.

With this discovery of abilities, and newfound charge over these young kids, Omega will be faced with a choice.

Stay with the Batch, or leave for them?

[brotpqueen]

Okay listen I’m working on the next chapter but Gabriel is a bitch to write for. I am neither a man nor an overconfident little bastard (though that last one is debatable) so I don’t relate to him as much as the others which makes writing more complicated. This bitch is tiring. Also as y’all know I have no idea how to write romantic tension, especially not of the enemies-to-lovers variety. Here’s some incorrect quotes while you guys wait (with some lore drops about the AU if you look hard enough). Thanks for being so patient, gang.

Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut? Beelzebub: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.

(if you read chapter one you already know my Beez makes terrible decisions about their hair.)

Anathema: I'm at a loss for words! Newt: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Anathema yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

(Newt is the incompetent one in the group but he’s so sweet they keep him around anyway)

Gabriel: There. How do I look? Shax: Like a cheap French harlot. Gabriel: French?!

(Former Cyberbully VS Also Former Cyberbully. At least Shax is creative with it.)

Aziraphale: Crowley, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Crowley, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

(…Obviously.)

Aziraphale: What the fuck is wrong with you?? Beelzebub: What? No good morning? Aziraphale: Good morning, what the fuck is wrong with you??

(This is literally all of their conversations up until they were like fourteen and Aziraphale gave up on being a good influence and joined in the batshit)

Shax: You're smiling. What happened? Crowley: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Aziraphale: Gabriel tripped and fell down the stairs today.

(They’re the worst brothers ever <3)

Beelzebub: When I was your age- Aziraphale, mocking Beelzebub: When I was your height. Beelzebub: Beelzebub: Listen here you little shit-

(Beez is completely ignoring that Aziraphale is literally like a month older than them)

Hastur: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly. Newt: Why not? Hastur: Because I don't know what they mean.

(Hastur is a himbo. In this context both affectionate and derogatory. Love ya, ya dumbass.)

The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting Maggie: walks in and sits on Nina’s lap The Squad: … Newt: Why are you sitting there? Maggie: There’s no free seats! Newt: But we made sure there was enough room for- Nina: hugs Maggie tightly There are no free seats.

(Nina and Maggie are just here to cuddle and see shit go down tbh.)

Aziraphale: I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to the generator. Anathema: Yup. Beelzebub: Maybe the generator is watching us. Aziraphale: Wouldn't that imply this conversation will be added? Aziraphale: … Aziraphale: Wait—

(Never let the smart ones™️ near alcohol they’re existential little fucks already we don’t need a philosophical debate at the campfire)

Shax: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag. Uriel: Way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.

(Shax is studying psychology at college/uni SOLELY so she can use it to fuck with people.)

Crowley: We need a plan to beat them. Aziraphale: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food. Crowley: Aziraphale: Judge me all you want, I get results.

(And people say Bee is a bad influence. Really! He’s much better at being a devious little shit now, so I’d call that a good influence!)

One of the campers: running towards Beelzebub with open arms Beelzebub: moves out of the way One of the campers: Hey, why'd you move?! Beelzebub: I thought you were going to attack me. One of the campers: I was going to hug you! Beelzebub: Why would you hug me? One of the campers: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

(They have issues okay. Stay tuned for that shit show!)

Shax: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

(She’s the worst I love her.)

Beelzebub: It’s too early in the morning for this. sent at 11:57 AM

(Aziraphale at many points throughout the years since they chose their name: your name is Beelzebub not Belphegor. Get up and go eat.)

Crowley: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities. Crowley, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

(He looses all morals when it comes to board games. Also shut up Crowley your mother is like as rich as God…almost literally.)

Hastur: Hey, Aziraphale you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform. Aziraphale: Have you ever been to a mortuary? Hastur: Yea, my grandma lives there. Uriel: That is the worst response to that question.

Aziraphale: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this. Beelzebub: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

(This is just their entire dynamic in this fic. Literally. This is how they end up in so many situations™️)

Beelzebub, to Nina: You know, Gabriel can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Beelzebub: blows airhorn at Gabriel GET FUCKED!

(They’re still in the enemies stage of enemies-to-lovers…Also Crowley approves this method.)

Beelzebub: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Gabriel, are a fucking cactus.

(Wait why is that just something I would have them say.)

Uriel: We need to distract these guys. Shax: Leave it to me. Shax: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. The smart ones™️: immediately begin arguing

(More psych student Shax knowing her friends eerily well! She’s a nightmare!)

Gabriel: What have I done wrong?! Crowley: Everything. For your entire life.

(They are in SEVERE need of character development…shame no one around here is doing that. *whistles totally inconspicuously, definitely not ignoring the WIP that’s open in my notes right now*)

Maggie: Which country has the most birds? Maggie: Portu-geese! Uriel: That's a language. Maggie: Portu-gull? Uriel: Good recovery. Newt: I think you mean good re-dovery. Anathema: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

(This is what’s happening while the MCs are off doing MC shit)

Crowley: We’re going to have to split up, like in Scooby Doo. Crowley, to Newt and Hastur: You guys are Scooby and Shaggy. You can search the bathrooms. Crowley, to Aziraphale: Velma, you get the spooky looking fridge in the basement. Aziraphale: What? Why am I Velma? And why do I get the… dubious looking device? Crowley: Because only Velma would say “dubious device”. Aziraphale gets the spooky fridge in the basement. Gabriel: And what does that make you, Fred? Crowley: Bitch, I’m Daphne.

(The real reason Crowley and Gabriel hate eachother so much is that there’s only room for one dramatic little bitch in their family and they both think it should be them.)

Maggie: I'm not superstitious… But I am a little stitious.

(My underrated queen!)

Hastur: I know where you live. Uriel: Where? Hastur: In a house.

(Uriel spends half of their time at camp facepalming. This is what they get for being normal in a sea of weirdos.)

Okay that’s it for now see y’all soon hopefully with the next chapter!

[carmendeiact2whenplz]

for the ask game, maybe decarabian or amos?

(Decarabian, since I already did Amos)

First impression: “I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I WISH HE DIDNT EXIST I HOPE HE BURNS IN HELL FOREVER HOW DARE HE DO THAT TO NB I HATE HIM I HATE HIM HE DESERVES EVERYTHING BAD EVER!!!!”

Current impression: The same as my first impression with the addition of “If I do not know Everything about him within the next three seconds I will Explode. I have so many headcanons about him I am sooooooo normal about him. I need to consume every media every theory everything about him ever. I need to dissect him and observe him under a microscope. I need to throw him off a cliff (derogatory) (affectionate) (derogatory). I need to put him in a maze with a reward at the end and see how he tries to escape. He is rotating in my mind at light speed. Everyone is wrong about him. I hate him sososo much but at this point I might actually be his number one fan. I am projecting so hard onto him it’s scary. He is truly A Character To Ever Exist”

Favorite moment: I can’t actually answer this as we have no idea what Any of his moments were. We have zero quotes from him, and he’s appeared in zero cutscenes, hopefully we will know more about him in the future

Idea for a story: He gets revived/reincarnated into modern day teyvat, there are a million ways that it could go from there but I need to see that man in an environment where he isn’t a god and isn’t treated like one whatsoever, and how he reacts to it all.

Unpopular opinion: Not quite sure how unpopular this is considering there aren’t many Opinions about him in the first place, but I don’t think he would be an extremely masculine 100% cis man. He should have at least a little bit of Gender in him. For all we know, “lord” and “king” are both apparently gender neutral titles/situational and not gender based arlecchino and navia in the genshin universe, and there is a good chance he probably can shapeshift to some degree. Obligatory “we have no idea what he looked like whatsoever” comment

Favorite relationship: Him and nb, I need to know if their thoughts about eachother went anything beyond mutual hatred. Maybe deep down they both respected and pitied eachother in a way. I need to lock those two in a room where they are forced to have a normal conversation for five minutes without them trying to kill each other.

Favorite headcanon: I think he should be Serious but also secretly have a lot of whimsy that he doesn’t show very often. He likes hoarding Shiny things in the tower. He runs down hallways watching his cape flow behind him. He secretly sings when no one’s watching or listening. He accidentally breaks character in serious moments sometimes. He should be a little bit silly

[lighttothecityofroses]

what if hiram and archie but they're both girls

what if we were hiram and archie . and we were both girls

interesting premise, anon! it could go lots of different ways imo. really depends on the configuration. see one of the things that really creates the unique dynamic of hiram/archie is the fact that it’s built on the very patriarchal patterns of father-son relationships and ALSO the mafia/mob/cartel whatever (crime rings, essentially, are a male business.)

(there is also the question of race, but.)

hiram is brought into the mob the same way that archie is turned into a capo in season 2. i think before anything else, that is what shapes their dynamic that hiram does Wrong and archie Tries to Do Right. that’s the thing that shapes the entirety of season 2, right? archie wants to Do Right (protect fred) -> hiram offers him a way to do that by Doing Wrong (suggesting he start a vigilante group). archie then gets sucked into hiram’s world, with the lure of what i would call very male narrative motivations (this doesn’t mean these apply to men alone, but in fiction, are often seen as inherent traits for a male character to have) such protectiveness - over fred and veronica, power - over those who would seek to hurt fred and veronica. there was a point somewhere in the thousands of meta posts i’ve devoured in the last two days that fred getting shot makes him weak in archie’s eyes, and that hiram’s traditionally “powerful” persona becomes very attractive to him in the time following the fred incident.

have you ever heard of the theory of homosociality, anon?

the thing about the mafia, like i said before, is that it is a predominantly male business. the women, like hermione often cites in s2 to veronica, are supposed to stand behind their man as he makes his moves. the issue with hiram is the same issue that logan roy had in succession, which is that he had no acceptable male heir, so he does, again, what logan roy did: used his idiot son-in-law as a conduit for power. (idiot here used affectionately for archie, derogatory for tom wambsgans) what’s interesting to me is that hiram obviously prides himself on veronica having turned out to be such a cunning, self-sufficient young woman - and while this frustrates him as well, i have to believe that as some point he must’ve considered handing his empire over to her. but the fact remains that ultimately the mafia is a male business, and archie-and-veronica would’ve been a really odd, controlling couple because veronica would be running everything from behind archie’s stature. she does so, even, with nick st. clair and the speakeasy/casino side hustle in s2. she still has to rely on a man to pull the strings.

you know the riverdale genre theory? because of the way that hiram’s entire character is constructed around the mafia, and by extension, so is veronica’s relationship with archie, i think a lot of archie and hiram’s relationship has to specifically with their gender. think about it - none of the women on riverdale have such an intense relationship with the girls on the show who aren’t their daughters. even though alice HATES hermione and veronica, she doesn’t do anything more than forbid betty from being friends with veronica. mary doesn’t really interact with veronica the same way that hiram does with archie. gladys never even comes into meaningful contact with betty - for that matter, neither does hermione. all the girls have very complex minefield-esque relationships with their mothers, but none of the rivermoms ever reach out to the other daughters.

i would say on some level archie and hiram’s relationship cannot be replicated if they were female; say, for example, that hiram were to be woman, and still married to hermione; a lesbian mob boss would always be fighting her way into again, what is predominantly a male space. i don’t think she would’ve had the time to groom female!archie the same way into becoming her capo, because it wouldn’t supplement her position in the mafia to have more female capos. i believe if hiram were female, also, and veronica was still her daughter, there would be no focus on female archie (veronica’s gf in this scenario) and instead, veronica would have a very fraught, tense relationship with hiram instead, because hiram would be actively trying to groom her to take over the empire (?) instead of spoiling her and treating her as someone who would eventually marry into a different position of power. veronica would then fight hiram on all these things, because her girlfriend archie would be protesting against all the evil things that fem!hiram is doing, because fem!archie would be able to see it from the outside of the relationship. riverdale loves a mother-daughter struggle.

if, say, instead, this was a genderswap situation, where hermione is male and hiram is female, and veronica is male and archie is female, i believe nothing would really come of it either. again, fem!archie would be trying to convince veronica that male!hermione is evil, but male veronica would’ve been indoctrinated a long time ago. hiram being female and archie being female completely sap all the tension from their relationship, because all of a sudden fem!hiram would be using her cunning to ensure male!hermione stayed on top of everything, and fem!archie would be busy trying to ensure male!veronica wouldn’t succumb to the dark side. they would simply never interact! riverdale wouldn’t put them in the same room, even. it is possible i just lack imagination; but i just think the layers of repression and violence that form archie and hiram just don’t click in the same way if they were women. i don’t know.

(i do think, though, that fem!hiram would be a very possessive boymom over male!veronica. perhaps there’s something there? fem!hiram beefing with fem!archie over male!veronica’s attention? even so, riverdale, for all its female characters, doesn’t really do non-familial intergenerational interactions all that much. i have a jughead-meta reason for why this is, but that’s a story for a different time.)

[canonizzyhours]

Idk what the fuck 305 is talking about when they say that the canyon is the only place where people write Ed and Stede as fucking up because every time I venture into canyon lit Stede's always either getting cinnamon rolled as hard as he is outside of the canyon just with a cinnamon roll derogatory rather then affectionate or he's a predatory gay man stock character and Ed is always the Angry Violent Brown Man Who Needs Izzy To Look After Him. Meanwhile me and my mutuals have been writing Ed and Stede having realistic relationship problems for the characters it's just that they always end up fixing the problems because thats how romcoms usually go. It's how the show itself ended up going, in fact. You start them out as falling in love you create drama in the middle by having their personalities (the real ones not the ones described above) and you have them work out the drama so they can open their inn together

Anyway this Canyonite idea that everyone but them is writing fluff where nothing ever goes wrong is a way to obfuscate the fact that we're not subscribing to the add the racism and homophobia back in when Jenkins and team left it out on purpose lense that the canyon clings to because it's the only way to make Izzy not look really fucking bad

All that being said the one thing I do think that both the canyon and the rest of the fandom fails at so fucking miserably is actually addressing Ed's daddy issues. That is ripe for writing grimdark fic about and nobody will do it mostly because the main fandom as a whole has utterly failed to recon with the fact that Ed will find the nearest overbearing angry white man be he Izzy Hornigold or Poppop, and immediately start trying to get his approval. I think part of it is because a lot of people canyon or otherwise had been conceiving of Ed and Izzy as sexual in a way that doesn't pair well with the fact that Ed 100% is subconsciously registering Izzy as his father. (And in their defense, they were thinking of it sexually because IZZY subconsciously thinks of it sexually)

#317.

related posts: #305

[maedhrus]

for the ask meme, your thoughts on the following for the terror?

💛❤💚💕

💛 (a popular ship you can't get behind): hickeytozer. very much regrettably, because i know there's some great meta and fanworks out there, but romantically they just don't compel me. i think it's because, with hickey, i like to see him in ships that have him on more of a back foot (hickeygoodsir rattles my brain!). i like hickeytozer interactions where it's more tozer realising that the self-help group he signed up to is now out for his blood

❤ (which character is the most egregiously mischaracterised by fandom): i think a lot of people use franklin as the Designated Evil White Man which is frustrating both because historically and in the show he's pretty empathetic with the men, if misguided, and they like him back! also, it really misses the broader point of the show that all the men are evil because they are tools of imperialism. individually, they are kind, decent men, but the system makes them monsterous and the native population suffers for it. by pinning all the expedition problems on franklin, it removes so much of this. to be fair, i don't think this is, like, an endemic issue, but i've seen it enough to irk me

💚 (what does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character): *blasted at 100% volume* edward little is a COMPETENT and GOOD lieutenant!! he's been shafted with crozier at his most miserable and destructive, he's dealing with a spirit bear, and he's still empathetic to the men, advocates for them, and endeavors to get as many home as he can! way too many people seem to think he's this trembling dog that will die if spoken to and is unable to lead in any capacity and i just don't believe it! to be fair, i think with characterisations surrounding little or jopson or characters like them, it's more difficult because they don't really have a lot of screen time, and with little especially, we see him reacting to things, not really introspection

💕 (what is an unpopular ship that you like): there are three that i feel very compelled by that have relatively few work imo. 1) hickeygoodsir, because goodsir's ability to just cut right though hickey's farces is incredibly and hickey enjoys that so much! perception of the other (derogatory), 2) hickeyirving, because wow irving, you seem to have a lot of unexplored issues about sexuality and all of this seems to come to the forefront when you talk with hickey, what's up with that?, and 3) irving and his bestest friend in the whole wide world, william elphinstone malcolm. the Historic Basis drives me crazy (their letters to each other are so so intimate and sweet); boyhood friends to situationship to "i will wait the rest of my life waiting for you to come home despite my knowledge that it's futile"; this man is, like, the origin of irivng's sexual crisis and i love it and i wish more people wrote about them. signed, your very affectionate friend by blazeofglory is an absolutely incredible duology speculating on this relationship and how irving views it and i would highly, highly recommend!

[wenellyb]

Eddie Diaz [affectionate] is to 9-1-1 what Owen Hunt [derogatory] is to Grey's Anatomy.

Both have spent seasons pretenting to be looking for a partner when in fact they were looking for a mother for their (future or actual) children then were surprised when the relationship didn't work out.

Owen came to peace with that when he decided to adopt on his own and stop being an *sshole to his partners. He finally was able to move on and open up for love, but it took him long enough to get there.

Eddie is slowly getting there, he's focusing on his relationship with Chris 100% instead of trying to get in a relatioship for the wrong reasons. I wouldn't be surprised if they introduce a (new) love interest now that he's more stable.