Tumgik
#what type of beauty do you have?
m00nt4r0t · 1 year
Text
✮ what type of beauty do you have? ✮
pile one, two, or three?
Tumblr media
topic suggested by yurdreamgirlfriend! thank youuuu!
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀ pile one
song on shuffle: weston road flows by drake greetings, pile one! before i turn over your cards, i'd just like to say that you have the type of beauty that makes people assume that you're rude, for some reason. maybe you have a "mean girl" look to you, kinda like a resting bitch face, but i think that you walk and act a certain way that makes people assume this about you. they may get the feeling that you think you're better than them just because you hold yourself to a high standard. idk maybe this is true, or maybe people are just projecting onto you. either way, people see you as someone who looks like they run shit, like you should be in charge, or that you're very assertive. some may even think you're conceited lol. let's get into the cards now. the first card for you is the ten of cups! okay so you have the type of beauty that makes people think you're content no matter what happens in your life, which is a pretty shallow assumption, in my opinion. if you were to complain about something, i feel like people would think that you're too good looking to actually be sad or feel insecure. but i'm also getting that some could see you as wish fulfillment, and that they'd want to marry you and have kids with you because they want to mix dna with you. since the second card in your spread is the page of wands reversed, you have the type of beauty that confuses people. some people assume one thing about you while another group of people assume something completely different and i feel like almost everyone is wrong, which confuses them even more. ohhhh.... three of cups. okay so people in relationships could feel tempted by you, even if you're not even entertaining them, pile one. but i'm also getting a message that your beauty makes other people feel good??? people like being around you because they feel more beautiful with you, not in a malicious way. this is probably because they know you're very beautiful and you hype them up which makes them feel even more beautiful than before. yup, now we have the star. you have the type of beauty that makes people believe in a higher power, because there's no way you are that beautiful by chance. someone with a higher power had to craft you. your type of beauty gives people a mystical and magical feeling. you may have very unique/eccentric features and this draws people's attention to you like crazy. you have the type of beauty that tends to make people forget that there's a depth to you, as weird as that sounds. like, people start off liking you because of your beauty but then once they get to know you, they're amazed that you have your own personality???? idk this is a very weird message but that's what i'm getting. i'm seeing that you may have cat-like features such as almond eyes or a certain facial structure that could look similar to a lion. your hair could be a dark red color, or you may like to wear dark red a lot. this color really adds to your beauty, it's like a poisonous mixture, but in an extremely good way.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀ pile two
song on shuffle: glow in the dark by tru heru heyyy, pile two! before i turn over the cards, i get the feeling that your type of beauty is the type that makes people... wonder. lol. you may have a dark aesthetic, dark eyes, black hair, and/or very sharp features that makes people think of occult-like things. you could have the type of beauty that makes people think of witches/warlocks, or you have the type of beauty that people want to manifest???? okay, lets get into the cards. the first card we have is the four of wands reversed. you have the type of beauty that people think you achieved by working out, or going on a certain diet, or cutting something out like smoking. even if your looks are 100% natural and un-altered by outside forces, people could possibly think you've had cosmetic surgery. you have the type of beauty that screams luxury. it doesn't matter if you're wealthy or unwealthy, people assume you have money. this could also indicate that your beauty attracts people who want to give you money. because of your beauty, people may think that you have high expectations and that you won't be impressed by them, which may or may not be true, i don't know. either way, a lot of people don't approach you because they feel like you won't even give them the time of day, let alone your number. you and pile one got the page of wands reversed, so if you were called to pile one then i'd suggest checking it out! but due to this card, you emerge new feelings for people because of your beauty. you could be a muse for artists, a new passion for those whom are interested in you, or even insecurity in some people. your type of beauty is the type that causes people to think new. if someone thinks you have high expectations but they really want to come forward, they're going to think of new ways to impress you. now, we have the wheel of fortune in reverse. your type of beauty invokes change in people in ways that inspires them to do their makeup a certain way, dress differently, act differently, get a haircut, start working out, change what they consume, etc. you have plutonian influence on people, meaning you cause them to look at themselves and change what they're not content with. you may keep up with your looks by frequently trimming and/or dying your hair, getting manicures/pedicures, doing your eyebrows, shaving, doing your makeup often, getting tattoos/piercings, and all of that gives people the essence of wealth. i know i've already said this, but it came up again so this energy is very prominent. your type of beauty makes people think of money, pile two. people also think you pay attention to the small details of yourself and that you're very creative when it comes to your style and/or makeup.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀ pile three
song on shuffle: feelings aside by bamsavage (i don't remember adding this song lol) what's going on, pile three? before i look at your cards, i feel like you have the type of beauty in which causes people from your past to be stuck on you, or check up on you often. even in situations where they see you as the bad guy, they can't stop looking at you because your beauty is intoxicating. i'm also getting that your beauty is so intense and unsettling, that people who feel rejected by you may attempt to humble you in order to make themselves feel better lol. i'm going to look at your cards now. wow, all of these piles got the page of wands, but you got it upright and the other two got it in reverse. well, your beauty is the type of beauty that inspires people, much like pile two. people think that your beauty gives you unlimited potential and that you could pretty much do anything you want because of it. you may have more of a "messy" type of beauty, in which you may not brush your hair everyday, you wear baggier/cheaper clothes, but you still look really good to people and this is very admirable to them. since the magician is your second card, people see you as very powerful because of your beauty. for example, if someone is going up against you in a race, they may already feel like they lost because of your beauty. your beauty makes people feel like you can literally do anything. i'm also getting that people want you to dominate them???? okay moving on, we have the three of pentacles. you have the type of beauty that makes people want to work with you and learn from you. if you're into fitness, people want you to train them so they can look like you. people could also talk about how beautiful you are in groups, could be a group of friends, maybe even family. you definitely have the type of beauty that causes lots of attention to be on you in public. you could be very tall, or there's just something about you that sticks in people's minds. people that you e never met before may know of you or possibly even be a fan of yours because they’ve seen you in public or on social media. this unlimited-potential energy is coming back again, so you have the type of beauty that opens up opportunities for you, pile three. for example, people in higher positions could pick you over others just because of your looks, or maybe modeling agencies could scout you in public without you even trying to impress them because of the type of beauty you have. you have the type of beauty that makes people think you have a lot of self-love and inner confidence. you could naturally be toned, or you could be physically active! your beauty is extremely powerful, pile three. use it to your advantage, but do so wisely.
thank you for reading and interacting! <3
masterlist ⭑ personal readings ⭑ patreon
2K notes · View notes
utterlyazriel · 4 months
Text
azriel with a mate who’s messy enough they always manage to have something scruffy with their clothing— a collar untucked, a tag poking out, a belt twisted around at the back.
azriel always adores how they never seem to notice. he adores even more the chance to get closer to his love, always silently and politely tucking in tags or smoothing out wrinkles without being asked to — loving how his mate jumps in surprise at his touch but it soothes away into affection in half a moment when they realise who it is <3
135 notes · View notes
velvetjune · 21 days
Text
the chapter songs in Alan Wake 2,, flawless
#they deserve more love and discussion#saying this while also not knowing what to say other than they’re so fucking good#alan wake 2#i think it’s partially because poets of the fall’s tracks are iconic so of course they’re in the spotlight (as deserved)#but also the CHAPTER SONGS. them being made for a given chatacter(s) with the help of Sam lakes poetry#the changes with ‘this road’ by Poe with every Alan chapter. becoming more distorted and revealing lyrics and the spiral#the scratch song being 1) hilarious and 2) similar to Zane’s poetry in the aw1 arg#the emotion in superhero when saga feels lost at the story making it so Logan was gone#the lines of her feeling like a ghost in this story forming around her.. how she feels guilty and absent for both what the story’s doing#and being away from Logan because of her job. ashdhhhhjhh my heart#AND. follow you into the dark HAS to be alice. which kills me because at for at I thought of Alan#but no. Alice jumped in the dark place after him. it’s so !!!!!!!!!!!#the rabbit hole line. Alice spiraling deeper and deeper into a dream—into wonderland#the Lost at Sea one is also good. intrigues me. the Bowie and Lynch references are blatantly aw2 Zane#but it’s so similar to diver Zane and the ‘originals’ death. being lost in the dark place with illusions of escape#and losing any sense of identity. whether he’s real at all or the monster of this sea or just a lost soul.#the soft and calm vocals / instrumental really makes the whole thing#NEED to stop typing more tags because this is a Lot. however.#‘no one left to love’ is also a phenomenal song and one of my favorites from the album. GORGEOUS vocals and how it all flows together.#such a powerful and beautiful way to end a chapter#anyway that’s all I had to say :)#god. I’ve started to watch a few playthroughs of the game and 90% of people have skipped the chapter songs and every time im#that’s fair but my brain and soul might implode if I don’t see anyone else talking about how good these songs are
32 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I can't do much productively during the heat wave/health issue flare up/etc. like work on my games or anything where I have to sit at the computer/type for long periods of time, BUT.. I did passively sculpt a few tiny foods lol. I wanted to do one of my bigger usual sculptures, but those take so much more time and concentration, I thought something small just to keep my hands busy would be better.. close up photos look kind of weird and blurry from my camera settings or something, but overall they came out okay, especially in person.. Nearly the only reason I ever wanted to buy dolls as a kid was to get my hands on the miniature foods and plates and stuff that came with them, I've always just been obsessed with small versions of things like that, so.. why not make some! lol
#sculpture#ooops.. i could have posted this on the art blog but I forgor and do not feel like reuploading everything#into a new drafted post on a whole other blog.. not in this heat.. i have no patience lol#items are: tomato. asparagus. a four leaf clover (not food lol). some sort of folded bun or dumpling with meat inside (not based on#anything specific. I just wanted to fold a flat sheet of clay into a shape). pomegranate. cheese wheel. lemon slice. some sort of mushroom.#fish (not a real one. just made up. if it looks like any specific fish that'd be interesting). and fig.#I haven't been able to get many avocaodo pits to carve again. so sculpting. then is good for a tiny craft#WISH I COULD DO COSTUMES OR SOMETHING.. i have some pikced out. bundles of clothes laying on the floor of the closet#but GODS even before the heat wave it's just been so warm.. I know.. it's the summer. of course it's warm#but WHYYYyy............. what if it just snowed all year around and was awesome and beautiful and i was so cold and could wear 25 blankets#at all times.. what about THAT hmm?? .. the ideal..#anyway.. my favorite is the pomegranate and the mushroom maybe#The fig is hard because in the pictures of figs I googled a lot of them have that sort of white powdery type of thing on the outside#that grapes and plums and stuff have sometimes and it's hard to convey that weird like.. sheen.. plus the purple with almost powdery blue#and little lighter specks plus streaks of light green and a little orangey on some of them.#It's okay in person I think but this doesnt show up as much in pictures. The cheese also looks betterin person than images. you can't tell#the slight shine in the pictures lol. but the pomegranates look cool and also photograph decent.. hmm#I should have made toast with an egg on it or something. that would be a nice addition#OH ALSO ASPARAGUS MY BELOVED.. though they look a little wonky. the cuticle pusher tool that I sculpt with in leiu of any actual sculpting#tools has a kind of triangle edge that was suite for the little leaf details of the asparagus so that was cool. its like..ALMOST right lol
79 notes · View notes
abirdie · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Gael García Bernal in Desierto (2015, dir. Jonás Cuarón)
(these gifs also feature Alondra Hidalgo)
#gael garcía bernal#desierto#ggb filmography gifs#desierto 2015#gael garcia bernal#this is ultimately a pretty standard thriller of the being-chased-by-an-inexorable-killer type#where the cast is picked off one by one until only the most conventionally physically attractive remain#this is good news for gael's character#on account of being played by gael#i think this one is elevated by the setting both in terms of beauty (it is stunning) and by making effective plot use of it#that apparently meant they were shooting two hours' drive away from the nearest towns with no cellphone reception etc.#which may be why we don't see more films set here#also elevated by the performances which are uniformly good#also elevated by the themes (jeffrey dean morgan's antagonist is targeting migrants crossing the border)#so we're back in the territory explored in documentaries like who is dayani cristal but this time as fictional thriller#this film came out as the trump wall discourse was hotting up and that was naturally something that got talked about in interviews#clever inclusion of antagonist's dog which effectively constrains what the characters could do to get out of the situation#so unlike in many films of this type there isn't a screamingly obvious course of action that they should have taken but unaccountably don't#still it remains a genre film sticking broadly to the conventions of that genre so the plot isn't going to astonish you#i've still avoided giffing the most spoilery moments though#tbh i suspect gael's character is still screwed at the end but then i think that's also the point (see: themes)
27 notes · View notes
absolutely-esme · 9 months
Text
My Headcanon for Liminals
I've been having a lot of fun posting headcanons, and I'm starting to realize just how many I've built up over the years, so here's another one.
So I've stated before that part of the reason why Danny and Vlad are so different is because Danny was inside of a portal when it turned on whereas Vlad just got a face full of energized Ectoplasm and other assorted nastiness. The still human and already ghostly halves of Danny fused into a cohesive whole in order to survive the opening of the portal and continued supporting eachother. Vlad's human half forcibly integrated his resistant ghost half as it formed in an effort to survive. Rather than a cohesive whole, Vlad is two dischordant halves.
That said, I do not consider Vlad's state the default result of humans being exposed to ectoplasm.
Part of it is because the exposure was violent and his human body was so incredibly unwell that it made sense for the part of him with less emotional attachment to it to want to escape. This illness did not stem directly from the ectoplasm. We know this much because other people exposed to ectoplasm did not get ecto-acne, and figuring out the involvement of the cola was what allowed the Fentons to cure it.
Part of it is because Vlad has a superiority complex. This means that, in any given state, Vlad considers his current way of being superior. As a human, Vlad considers humanity superior. As a ghost, Vlad considers ghosts superior. This leads to a whole lot of clash between the parts of his psyche which each consider the other half to be lesser. Combine this with the fact that each half despises the illness and associates the illness with the other half, and you get a whole lot of internal toxicity.
For the average person with ectoplasm exposure, there wouldn't be so much of a clash. They would take on some ghostly traits (more and more over time, with continued exposure) and maybe start doing some prep-work for ghosthood, but they wouldn't be trying to leave their human lives early. They probably won't have insane healing factors like Danny, but they won't be tearing themselves apart like Vlad either.
They're preparing for the afterlife, but they wouldn't be so eager to discard the human life they are still living. If you've ever had a favorite hoodie that you wore all the time until you loved it to pieces and it came apart at the seams, that's kind of the feeling. It's not the end of the world when you can't wear it anymore; you can wear other jackets when you're cold, but you want to hold onto it for as long as you can.
The more someone is exposed to ectoplasm (in terms of both frequency and amount), the more ghostly they will become over time.
A random person who just happens to live in Amity Park on the opposite side of town from Fenton Works and and was somehow never at the sight of a ghost fight, will probably just experience a slightly increased awareness of ghost-related stuff and perhaps a slightly smoother transition when their time comes.
Other kids at Casper high, who attend school with Danny every day and get caught up in ghost attacks sometimes will probably start to form the wispy beginings of their ghostly self. Sometimes you just catch a glimpse of what sort of ghost they are going to be. They may also develop some slight powers while still alive.
You look at Paulina carefully shaping and lacquering her nails into something both beautiful and dangerous, and for a split second you just know that, someday, she's going to be all claws and glittering scales and passionate pursuit of her goals. She will transcend the human form and shape herself into a work of art of her own design and a powerhouse none can deny. Then she turns to her friend and giggles over a funny story, and the moment passes; she's just another kid steadily making her way to adulthood.
She's just another kid until some jerk at the mall oggles her a little too blatantly and her jewelry flashes brighter than the lighting should allow, blinding him so that he trips into a fountain, and Paulina smugly watches him sputter before turning to walk away with a satisfied spring in her step.
Sam and Tucker, Who hang out with Danny every day and frequently explore the ghost zone with him, will start forming more of the foundation of their ghostly selves and probably develop more powers sooner. They are more likely to develop to a point of being able to take on a ghostly form while still alive.
Typically, a halfa formed through extreme, prolonged exposure like this would have a bit of separation between their human and ghostly halves, but without much discord between the two. However, with Sam and Tucker spending so much time around Danny during their formative period (and having so much less contact with any other ghost than with him), it's entirely possible that they would subconsciously learn the integrated system approach, in much the same way people pick up habits of speech from the people around them.
66 notes · View notes
yumemiruuuu · 3 months
Text
Xue Meng: (seething and running away) Why can’t you just be normal??!
Mo Ran: (chasing Xue Meng in a frenzy) BOWOWOW WOOF WOOF GRRRRRR
Xue Meng: (((confused screaming)))
22 notes · View notes
sysig · 2 months
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Rosawatts, from memory (Patreon)
18 notes · View notes
kouhaiofcolor · 1 month
Text
"....When did we get to the point where natural hair is no longer associated with ...Black People? Black Women?"
Non blacks pls dni.
Have to amplify this woman's valid and articulate short on the relevance of this topic bc, whew smh, I have discussed the same thing here — and am both just as disturbed (and honestly? a little let down?) by Black Women letting go the equity we had in natural hair. Esp just to pick harmful maintenance/norms right back up. I do understand that we, as a race of women all by ourselves, have sooooooo many odds stacked against us regarding what we do with our hair and how we take care of it, but I cannot for the life of me understand what the purpose or benefit is supposed to be in returning to things that actually harm us disproportionately.
For good measure, she also spoke more directly and at length about this issue, it's toxically influential spaces and platforms — as well as the colorism, texturism and misogynoir in general at it's core. So glad I'm not the only Black Woman being transparent about how backwards the nhc/nhm is going.
youtube
13 notes · View notes
lilaccatholic · 5 months
Text
how do i do it though. how do i let go of the bitterness and the hardness when they kept me "okay" for so long? does it come when i finally leave? can it ever?
#babes i actually relate to the frigid angry woman more than im comfortable with but this time there's no prince coming to save her and idk#i was never beautiful but i was and am angry and capable and that's served me well but being angry is exhausting#it's a birthright i can't give to a younger sibling. it doesn't transfer.#i dont inspire devotion. there's no version of this that ends with me waltzing with a true love.#im not the type you launch a thousand ships for.#so what's left?#who am i when i have no one? when ive spent my life making *me* less to make others more? when im nothing but a useful piece of furniture.#i know God loves me! i love Him! but it's not the same. i want *people* to love me. i want to be someone that theyd fight for.#im feeling that 'women have minds and hearts but im so lonely' scene from little women 2019 so much right now.#except im not jo. my family loves me but theyd never do for me what jo's would do for her. theyre also all focused on surviving.#i feel like a military ration. there to be consumed but cast aside the moment something more palatable comes around.#how do i become consumed with joy? how do i let go of the cynicism? its all thats kept me safe! but its choking me too.#its like tony stark in iron man 2. the thing thats kept me alive this far is killing me. i need to find an alternative but its looking like#ill have to synthesize a new element to make it happen and that freaks me out.#ive always been derivative. never an individual. how do i become a trailblazer when my job was always to hold the hand of the one blazing#the trail? how do i become myself happy and free?#because i WANT to be more#i WANT to be more than anger and coldness and a useful idiot. i WANT to be me and be so so happy#but i dont know how to get there#and if someone suggests therapy im shooting you. i dont want to listen to one more person pretend to care about me and tell me#all the things i need to change and spend even longer not learning how to think for myself#i want to be more than this. but i also cant stand the thought of taking up any more space than i do#anyway.#anyone who's read all this thank you and i promise im fine im just in my feelings today lol#im going to work out and get some happy brain chemicals flowing and then ill take a shower and itll all be good.#please dont worry about me! im just having A Moment TM#lilac rambles
25 notes · View notes
mel-loly · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
-Happy Trans Day of Visibility!🏳️‍⚧️
60 notes · View notes
artheresy · 5 months
Text
Thinking about how Wingweaver Xili implied the Foxians of the Zhuming have a qualities that look more akin to the Borisin
Praying to god we get to go to the Zhuming and they actually give the Foxians more pronounced animal features PLEAASSEE
Also very very interesting to observe the difference between the Foxians depending on what ship they come from… I need to research this more because I would love to show that off in some redesigns/my own designs ig for some of the Xianzhou characters we already know and potential oc designs as well
So many Zhuming thoughts, my brain is full of them
16 notes · View notes
Text
also the Biggest Eternalest Moods
Tumblr media Tumblr media
38 notes · View notes
rmbunnie · 1 year
Text
Just watched Akira and it was so so good but What The Fuck is Going On because I had no clue it would be like that from what i’ve seen people say about it. The general focus I’ve seen before when discussing Akira was “nice retro animation” and “iconic motorcycle slide” but the motorcycle slide happens like 20 minutes in and I was COMPLETELY unprepared for the rest of the movie?? I mean the things I’ve seen about it online are right, the animation is really cool and the bike slide is nice, but I haven’t seen a single image of Tetsuo before watching the movie, you’d think he wasn’t in it? But disregarding my naivety in thinking I’d get an accurate impression of it from what I see online, I really liked it! Theres a LOT going on, but not in a disorganized way. Kaneda was cool and fun, but I also very much got the wrong impression about him, he seemed like he’d be a lot more stoic/serious than he was, and it felt like Tetsuo got equal or more screentime than him, which makes the total lack of Tetsuo i’ve seen pre-movie more confusing to me. The scene with the glass and the toys was probably the most representative of the tone of the movie to me, not the setting or anything, there aren’t any motorcycles or frozen vaults or sci-fi guns until the end of the scene, but the brand of unsettling is consistent with the rest of the movie. Overall, it was odd to watch with the things I’ve heard about it in mind because you can read that it’s rated R for violence, and it isn’t a lie, but the “cyberpunk action” isn’t the most intense aspect of the movie, and the scenes of violence would have a lot less intensity without the context behind them. The movie was also a lot sadder than I thought it would be! The “cyberpunk biker 80s aesthetic” description that I saw before watching it really doesn’t give it a fair summary, I liked it so much more as the real thing than as what I thought it would be, especially in the character writing. Also the sound design/score was amazing, that one fucking song with the breathing noises was absurdly cool.
#not that i have any issue with cyberpunk#it just gives off a way different vibe than what it really is when thats the only description#akira#akira 1988#i am thinking so hard about tetsuo#not like in a blorbo way or like he was completely innocent or anything#just thinking#also thinking about those psychic kids#from the experiment and how even though it was horrible experimentation that colonel ran into the explosion trying to get them back safe#i saw an edit post watching it and lots of comments like it looks cool but i didn't finish it and it's cool but i didn't get the plot#*post-watching#and its not like its some niche undiscovered treasure or anything its iconic#but there was so much amazing about the plot#so the massive focus on the visuals alone confuses me#not too much because like its beautiful#but watching tetsuo fall to his knees terrified post-surgery didn't leave an impression because it was pretty you know?#or post-experiment#im doing another anime/manga review just because i feel like typing up my thoughts#and posting it out animal crossing recipe that washes up on the beach style#nothing new#its not even a review im just talking about the movie#speaking of i haven't read the manga so i can't speak for any manga specific bits#but the fact that the writer also wrote the movie makes me believe that even if it wasn't 100% accurate#the changes were changes he thought were acceptable and true to his vision of what it should be#i also really liked that you could only contextualize some things from earlier in the movie with info from the end scenes#which is just how movies work tbh#but its still a treat#when the movie is a movie :0#anime
47 notes · View notes
pepprs · 8 months
Text
feeling despair i don’t know how to put into words. im trying to figure out why im like this and how i got to be this way but i can’t even do it bc of the way i am and what im like. if that makes sense. like the problem prevents me from fixing the problem bc i can’t get to the root of it. despair despair despair
#purrs#delete later#basically i can’t internalize anything about myself. i can’t internalize that i am talented smart strong whatever and i can’t internalize#evidence that i matter and belong and am loved. i take in this evidence constsntly and it just evaporates. and then it’s like i have none of#it at all and im starving and shaking and dying and howling like a wretched little animal. and i live in this constant defaulstate of like..#feeling worthless and alone and utterly empty and like everything in my life is a dream or something. and in feeling that way and being#quite literally incapable of having emotional object permanence.. i actually make that situation real for myself. i make myself alone and#wretched. i isolate myself and shut down and don’t let myself take up the space i can. and it’s just awful. it’s unfixabke.#i just suck it all dry. i deny myself to myself and to everyone else. and idk what made me like this bc i don’t think i always used to be#this way w depression and depersonalization or whatever the fuck dsm 6 type shit i have going on. but i can’t internalize anything about#myself and my life and have no desire / willpower to look back beyond a certain point and really analyze and probe to figure out what#happened to me to make me like this so i can heal the core wound. soim just constantly in wretched tortured panicking creature mode. awesome#this cry for help brought to you by: my sister guilt tripping me into doing her laundry + my brother showing me his beautiful music +#realizing that unlike redacted i have not documented every part of my life and have no access to early childhood artifacts that would reveal#anything about me and that it does n’t even matter / isn’t special anyway. i love being normal 😎🫶🏻‼️#at least i haven’t been dissociating as badly about work stuff lately but. that’s definitely still a thing too so. what if my whole life is#just the wrong timeline i wasn’t supposed to be in and nothing is actually real. lawl 😳#this is a ​really awesome time for my therapist to be going on a monthlong honeymoon btw 😍 she deserves it so much but omg im dying already
14 notes · View notes
lesamis · 6 months
Text
i do really think that 98% of the time when i have people staying with me i am good at making sure they like, have everything they need regardless of what they packed, call me king of spare toothbrushes and excessive towels etc. and then. one of them will look me in the eye and ask for a hairdryer
11 notes · View notes