#when everyone is speculating the worst outcome

[aphroditelovesu]

RhaegarWins! Au: Rhaegar killed Robert in the trident, Robert's Rebellion fails; Aerys dies, Rhaegar becomes king and in the end of the war he gets his third head of the dragon. Lyanna gives birth to a daughter not a son (the reader)Visenya.

But not all its sunshine and rainbows for Rhaegar Targaryen, this is an you won but at what cost scenario. First of Lyanna still dies in this scenario and since she's dead and can't tell if she went willing or not people always speculate whether she was abducted or she went willing. The faith has a long standing tradition of opposing polygamy so Rhaegar marriage to Lyanna is not recognized as legitimate, baby Visenya is a bastard, and the northerns and the stormlanders are pissed with the outcome of the rebellion. (Especially the stormlanders).

Rhaegar inherits a broken kingdom and so he goes problem solving. First he is lenient on the rebels. He takes hostages, he takes a little land from the minor Lords but let most of them keep their castles. The starks, Tully and arryns keep all of their titles and since he is walking on thin ice, and doesn't want a conflict with the faith right now,He recognizes that his marriage to Lyanna is illegitimate (the northerns are even more pissed by this), but he has Visenya legitimized and tries to appease the starks he is more lenient to them and Ned gets a royal ward, Princess Visenya.

So house Targaryen it's at its weakest point in history. worst than the dance of dragon's. But Rhaegar being Rhaegar raises Aegon to belive that he is the prince that was promised and tells him that he and his sisters are the conquerors come again and that one day he is going to marry both of them. Now neither Aegon or Rhaenys belive in their father's bullshit because Elia its a big influence in their lives. But one day Rhaegar decides that it's time to Visenya to come home and they both start developing yandare tendencies for her 😈 they may not belive in their father's prophecies but they would definitely use them to trap poor Visenya. Now I ask you what kind of yandare would Rhaenys and Aegon be? What are their differences? What are their similarities? What are your thoughts on this concept?

tw: Targaryen incest (very usual)

I didn't expect to receive this until I read it and I say I need more!! An au where Rhaegar would win Robert's Rebellion was not something I needed until you sent me this!!

Considering that all of history had changed, relations would be strained and resentment would run high, particularly between the remaining Targaryens and the Starks. I like to think that Viserys and Daenerys grew up in King's Landing with their brother, but their bastard daughter, Visenya/Y/n, went to live with the Starks. In that case, I imagine everyone would know that she is not Ned's daughter but Rhaegar's daughter, it would be fun to imagine her dynamic with the Starks.

Ned grew to love his niece, even though she represents everything that happened to his beloved sister, he still loves his niece. He resents Rhaegar, but he doesn't hate Visenya. She is just a child, i'ts not her fault her father's mistakes. I can't help but think how cool and inconvenient it would be if the entire Stark family became yandere for her. Catelyn came to love the girl as her daughter, because she was not ''Ned's bastard'', as Jon would be, she was the most present mother figure in Visenya's life and she would become delusional to the point of imagining she was really her daughter.

When Rhaegar ordered Visenya/Y/n to return home, the hell would break. The Starks don't want her to go, they don't trust the Targaryens to look after her like they do and she has grown used to the North. But they couldn't ignore Rhaegar's orders, they weren't ready for another war, the last one cost them too much, so Visenya reluctantly returned to King's Landing, meeting with her father, uncle and aunt and siblings.

Relationships would be fun to describe, I think. Rhaegar is definitely very attached to Visenya, due to the fact that she is Lyanna's daughter and he regrets not having seen her grow up, although he knew it was the best thing to do at the time. Elia had reservations about Rhaegar's bastard daughter, it wasn't resentment or hatred, but… Curiosity and she soon finds herself liking her stepdaughter.

Viserys doesn't think much of his niece, he doesn't care, at least at first. She was just Lyanna and Rhaegar's bastard child, why should he care? But Viserys finds himself interested in the way everyone else acts around Visenya and ends up finding himself closer to his niece. Obsessed, maybe.

I would imagine that Visenya and Daenerys would have been born around the same time, so the two would be the same or close in age at the very least. They would definitely be close and Dany finds herself very attached to her niece. Although they didn't grow up together, the two eventually became best friends.

Now about Aegon and Rhaenys… Definitely the trio would be the differentiated version of Aegon I, Rhaenys and Visenya. They might not believe in the prophecy, but they couldn't deny that as soon as they met their sister, things changed. Before her, Aegon and Rhaenys clung to each other, along with their mother, but it felt like something was missing. A hole in the inseparable duo and when they met... It was you who was missing.

Aegon is, in my opinion, the obsessive and slightly overprotective yandere type. He felt an instant connection with Visenya and could not deny her desires for her and as is tradition, he would take her and Rhaenys as his wives. Just like Aegon I did. It didn't matter if polygamy wasn't allowed, he would do it and he would have Rhaegar's support and maybe even Elia's. Aegon is very paranoid about his sister and will not let her leave him and Rhaenys. They were already created apart, he won't allow that again.

Rhaenys would be calmer and gentler than her brother, but she's a clingy, possessive yandere, I think. She would be particularly possessive of her sister and brother, wanting them both with her at all times. Rhaenys would definitely send jealous, murderous glares at people she deems a threat to her and her siblings. Rhaenys would grow sharp and strong.

Who knows the prophecy will not be fulfilled? With this trio. Perhaps dragons come back to life through Aegon, Visenya and Rhaenys. Perhaps the prince who was promised is not only a prince, but... A prince, a princess and a bastard? All Targaryens, different but so... close.

The world of Ice and Fire would be quite different from what we know, but interesting, don't you think?

~ Lady L

[thatgirl4815]

Only Friends Predictions

Purely for my own entertainment, I want to make Only Friends predictions now so that I can refer to them later and see how accurate they turn out to be (which I don’t have too high of hopes for, but I’m gonna go for it anyway). I’m gonna make these attempts based on what we know so far/what some members of the cast have said.

I would be really interested though to see other predictions? Who do you think will end up together? Speculating is the only way I know to pass the time before it airs, lol.

In short:

- Ray and Sand will end up together. 

- Boston and Nick will be split. Boston will still be alone, but Nick will have moved on to someone new. 

- Top will have cut ties with the group after Boston ruins his relationship with Mew. Mew and Ray will continue to be friends, but Mew will remain alone (but content). 

Of course, this could be totally off, but I’m going with it now based purely on ✨vibes✨

Getting into the details...

SandRay

First and Khaotung said that their storyline is emotional compared to the hotness of the other couples’ storylines. I also know that Jojo has a thing for mixing up established pairings. As we’ve seen, the messiness of SandRay’s relationship really revolves around Ray’s feelings for Mew. But if they keep Sand’s characterization from the trailer, he won’t stand for any of Ray’s crap (“I won’t be in anyone’s choices.”). Does this mean Sand will end things and leave Ray to grovel for his affections again? Will Ray confess to Mew, and come crawling back to Sand after being rejected? Will Sand keep standing up for himself, or will Ray make some grand gesture to win him back? Can he be won back?

Even though this series is being marketed as messy, toxic, and chaotic, I’m certain there will be some core thematic aspects at play in each characters’ relationships. For SandRay (and BostonNick, I’d argue), self-worth could be a fundamental aspect. How much do you value the relationship, versus how much do you value yourself? I also wonder to what extent there could be a privilege check for Ray’s character. We know he’s wealthy and a playboy, but will his wealth create a division between him and Sand? Will Ray change himself? Obviously I’m posing a lot of questions, but until we get more info, I’m going to predict that Ray and Sand will end up together in the end, mostly because I think Ray navigating his feelings for both Sand and Mew--and coming to terms with what these feelings say about himself--would find its natural conclusion in Sand. Given what FirstKhao have said about how emotional their storyline is, I think it’s clear the feelings run deep for both of them. Also, I’m getting the sense from the trailer that Ray’s crush on Mew is unrequited.

Finally, FirstKhao have made a comment about their characters ending up together. They did say this before filming I believe, so might take it with a grain of salt. 

BostonNick

My biggest dilemma at this point is figuring out how the SandRay plot will differ from the BostonNick one, because both Nick and Sand and Boston and Ray are in a similar position. Nick, to me, seems more likely to beg for Boston’s affection while Sand seems more ready to let all hell break loose and cut ties. In other words, Sand’s reaction in the trailer might indicate that he values himself too much to stand for Ray’s indecision from the get go. For Nick, this could be more of a slow-building awareness. By that I mean, I could see Nick coming to understand that Boston doesn’t deserve his affection if he’s going to disregard his feelings and treat him as a fwb when Nick keeps pushing for something more. I could see Nick making a stand, essentially telling Boston “him or me?” and Boston choosing Top...only for Top to cut ties with Boston after messing up his relationship with Mew. In short, I foresee Boston getting the worst outcome of everyone. But maybe this is just because he seems to be responsible for most of the chaos in the trailer.

TopMew

Top and Mew as an established couple in the trailer seems like the most likely endgame--and that’s exactly why I think they won’t end up together. I have a hard time believing Mew will just let Top off once he knows about his relationship with Boston. (I’m operating under the assumption here that Boston and Top resume their affair while Top and Mew are together...at least for a little while.) I could see Top keeping up his fwb relationship with Boston for a short time into his relationship with Mew, but as he gets more serious about Mew, he tries to cut things off with Boston. And that’s when the whole situation gets out of hand and Boston essentially confesses to Mew about their secret relationship. 

Mew is also presented as content with his solitude; he only pursues a relationship with Top when Boston pairs them up. If anything, this entire situation could serve as a lesson for him. And if I’m right in predicting (hoping) that Ray will undergo a big moral shift from beginning to end, then I could see their friendship being a core part of the series. (I think it would also be good representation to keep them together as healthy friends despite Ray’s previous crush.) 

...As for how Sea could factor into any of this (if he really is going to play some part in the series), I’ve seen speculation that he could be a possible love interest for Sand. I think it would depend on how big of a role he’s given. I’m sure it’ll be a cameo either way, but how much of one is questionable. He could be involved in an episode or two to stir up some drama and equal things out between Sand and Ray; I think that’s a strong possibility (and the drama would be oh so juicy). Or maybe he ends up with Nick, if Nick moves on from Boston? So many possibilities.

- X - 

OK, so that’s my thought process at this current moment, but tomorrow I could have a wildly different one. If anyone is thinking completely differently, I’d be curious to hear your thoughts. In the meantime, I’m gonna go stew over this some more until we finally get a trailer (Jojo, I’m begging). 

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.182 thoughts

[Might as Well be Sittin' on the Sun]

(Contents: slight Fuuko analysis, power-scaling, speculation)

Okay, so maybe we won't be learning the Master Rules' names any time soon, but to be fair, I did kind of see that coming. After all, this was so clearly meant to be a parallel to the introduction to the Union in ch.8 and 9, and back then, we only learned three out of eight names (Tatiana, Billy and Nico), so it only seems fair that we only learn one new name here (Luck, in this case)

Speaking of parallels, Fuuko's dual rapid-firing to mirror Andy's Finger Bullets was sick, and I hope just a sample of the kind of things Fuuko can do as a gunner. Still waiting to see what the revolver Artifact's ability is, or its name for that matter!! Considering that we're introducing the (presumably) final team of antagonists and Fuuko has made it clear that the team isn't currently up to snuff to take them on, she's definitely going to need some kind of upgrade, and giving her a secondary ability seems like a great way to do that

Also, absolutely insane that Sick is the weakest of the Master Rules, and apparently by a wide margin given how everyone else was picking on him. Poor guy, falling asleep and slumping both forward and back because he's literally and permanently cut in half. That's kind of like what I end up doing while writing these posts late at night

Master Rule I questions Fuuko's motives, and we get to see another great, if subtle, Fuuko face: with a gentle smile and absolutely dead eyes, Fuuko claims that it would have been convenient for her if her bullets had reached the Master Rules, as they would have taken them all out instantly (I guess the 60-year range was one that Fuuko was really attached to, cus even 44 didn't actually kill UMA Heat). That look is simply unsettling, as I think it's the only time that Fuuko has ever said anything about intending to kill anyone or anything. She definitely isn't enjoying it, it's simply a matter-of-fact statement, but she also knows that it would mean an end to their struggles, so while it would be unfortunate in its own way, it would be the objectively best outcome

M.R. I immediately learns to appreciate Fuuko's best charm point, the fact that she's an actual lunatic behind her cute face, and offers one piece of information. Fuuko, of course, chooses to learn Andy's location, fearing the worst since he could only send a clone. We then learn that for hundreds of millions of years, Andy has been chilling on the surface of the sun, using his soul to trap the Master Rules inside

God damn, Tozuka, you told us that Victor was alone billions of years waiting for Juiz and then you said "well Andy's gotta do something more impressive!" Well you succeeded, sir, sitting in place on a ball of plasma that should completely atomize you for millions of years is definitely more intense than hanging around and fighting dinosaurs, or at least a more striking snapshot

I don't imagine I was alone in thinking that Andy and Ruin have been playing cat and mouse for the last 2 billion years, but the fact that at some point Andy found his way to the god damn SUN and just decided to park it really speaks to his willpower and commitment. I wonder if he checked out for it like Victor said he did when the Earth was just uninhabitable magma. I get the feeling that he didn't, since he was able to consciously launch a clone down to Earth, so...yeah, confirmed, I guess, Andy's been present the whole however many millions of years he's been there

Oh, and let's not forget the distance. 92 million miles, eight light minutes away, and Andy was able to accurately fire one of his fingers down to Iseult Hospital in France in the middle of the Sick fight. I don't know if his soul gives him some kind of clairvoyance like how Fuuko saw everything that happened to Andy while she was dead, but no matter how you look at it, that's some firing power!!! Sure, he's got infinite fuel by regenerating his blood repeatedly, but he's still gotta travel nearly 100 million miles with enough force to escape the gravitational pull of the GOD DAMN SUN!!! If Google is to be believed, Andy's finger bullet had to have been moving over a 1.38 million miles an hour just to reach escape velocity, though if he reached Earth in a matter of minutes, then I guess that's a pretty low bar to clear, huh?

I'm moving on from this topic, but I want it to be clear that aside from perhaps any given movement from Sun, this may well be the grandest display of power that we've ever seen in this series, and it's a surprisingly subtle one. No wonder Andy could only maintain the clone for a minute: the finger bullet was probably already around for at least ten. Hell, it definitely explains why this was "spreading his soul too thin"

Now that we've seen all of the Master Rules close-up, now I'm willing to speculate on what their identities might be

As with most people, I'm decently confident that 1 is Death, but with 2 "[reeking] of blood and guts" and being close to Luck, fans have taken to the possibility that 2 is Death to parallel with Andy and Fuuko's relationship. @your-zipper-is-down suggested that 1 might be Life or Humanity, which would definitely be interesting; for Death to be a Rule, that all living things must die, then logically there must be a preceding Rule that living things exist at all. That said, the existence of humanity might be independent of the Rules, but we'll find out sooner or later

If 2 isn't Death, then the most likely reason that she's so smelly is that she might be Pain, as alluded to by Ruin about 80 chapters ago. I think that would fit her religious visual theme pretty well, as self-flagellation and other forms of deliberate pain are commonly associated with religion. I'm also curious if those lizard-eye decals on her habit are actually her real eyes since she never seems to open the ones on her face

3 is Sex, I don't think anyone disagrees with that

We've established that 4 is Luck, which I imagine is because aside from Death, Luck is the concept most heavily associated with bringing death in the series (4 being a symbol of death). The real fun thing, though, is that Luck has a bandage on her right cheek, whereas Fuuko has one on her left! Does the bandage itself hold any significance? Does it simply serve as a visual indicator that she's Fuuko's opposite, or is there a deeper metaphysical connection between them that forces them to act as mirrors to each other? Unrelated, I imagine that Luck's halo is meant to represent the Wheel of Fortune, and likely plays into how she uses her powers

5 has a knight theme, and my best guess for that is either that it has something to do with defense/survival, like UMA Guard to represent survival instincts, or UMA Justice

6 is War. Guy looks like he uses napalm face wash, that's War.

I originally guessed that 7 would be Luck since he looks like a gambler, but now that we know this isn't the case, I'm assuming that the pocketwatch indicates that he's UMA Time. I've seen it suggested that he's UMA Past, but I really doubt that Juiz, a septuagenarian Nico and Phil were able to capture a Master Rule by themselves when Fuuko's Union couldn't beat number 10. Just doesn't seem right to me

8's design is really interesting, as she seems to be wearing a crown shaped like a ruined tower. This immediately makes me (and others like @bubhbuhlmao) think of the Tower of Babel, suggesting that she may be UMA Language, but again, could the Nico of Loop 100 really kill a Master Rule by himself? It's possible, but I don't buy it. She could be Knowledge, though that seems pretty similar to Information, so I don't know if Tozuka would want that much of an overlap. Intelligence? Wisdom? We'll see. However, given that she's wearing ruins, I do think it would be interesting if she's UMA Ruin and God just had really bad naming sense when creating our boy Unruin Ruin

9 is almost definitely Animal or Beast or something like that, but I stand by the extremely funny possibility that he's the real Clothes and Clothy is his Junior. That idea absolutely kills me

I do wonder if the Master Rule fights are going to be individual arcs like the Seasons or if it's going to be a team vs. team match like Union vs. Under, but either way, the introduction of a whole team of Master Rules definitely gives the impression that the end isn't as close as I thought. We still have a few more recruits to get, Ruin and Seal are definitely still going to be a problem, we have to clear the ten Master Rules, and only then can we fight Sun, and for all we know we still might have to fight Luna

In other words, I'm starting to think fouryearsandananime might have been a conservative estimate

[sirfrogsworth]

I was bored in the hospital last night and for some reason I decided to debate some Matt Walsh transphobe jerks in a Twitter thread. Like here and here and here. I was holding my own but then the discussions turned into a "Study Off" as I like to call them. They post a link to a study saying medical transitions or puberty blockers are the worst. And then I have to counter with a newer better study that says they have decent positive outcomes. Then they say that study is bad. Then I have to find a different study. And it is just a tiring form of debate that never goes anywhere.

One study they referenced was a Swedish study that assessed how transgender surgeries from as far back as the 70s turned out. I was all, "You know they improved the surgeries a tiny bit from the frickin' 70s, right?" But also, it is really hard to gauge how effective transitioning can be when you can't factor out societal attitudes.

"They transitioned and for some reason they are still depressed! Clearly it doesn't work!"

Meanwhile, every red state in the country is basically trying to outlaw being trans.

The depression is a real mystery.

I never know how to pivot from a Study Off. I want to tell them I have friends and many many followers that have gone through medical transitions or done the puberty blockers and affirming care and it basically saved their lives. But the response to that will be "anecdotal evidence." Though I might have enough trans followers for a decent sample size.

But my point is, they don't ever talk to trans people to see how they feel about all this. When I ask, these people never actually know any trans people. They might debate a few online, but they don't *know* or befriend actual trans people.

I don't think you can truly understand the reality of something unless you talk to the people affected. I mean, *really* talk to them... without a character limit and barrier of anonymity.

I asked this guy if he knew any trans people or had any trans friends.

How can you judge something as "horrific" if you never actually talk to the people you are making wild speculations about?

He just created something in his head of what a trans person is and has no interest in seeking the reality of a trans existence. Apparently all trans people have been duped into a medical money making scheme. So none of them have the agency or self awareness to want transition?

I bet he purposely avoids getting to know any trans people because he doesn't want to lose this idea of them he has manufactured in his mind.

Manipulated and taken advantage of for profit, eh?

What do they think being transgender is? Organized religion?

I keep seeing conservative Christians call trans people delusional and living in a fantasy all while they believe in a magic man that walked on water. They see people speaking in tongues and think that is normal. They watch faith healers scam people and praise the Holy Ghost. They are told if they tithe all their money they will be rewarded with prosperity instead of just incurring more debt. They see their megachurch preacher owning 20 supercars and a private jet and don't question the money they gave. They see Rhianna in a red outfit at the Superbowl and are convinced she is in league with Satan. They think being queer can create disastrous storms.

Maybe they aren't the ones who should be policing delusion.

They are the ones that have been duped into a money making scheme. Matt Walsh and the like are profiting off this hatred and everyone that buys into that hatred, they are the ones being manipulated. They are being told they are "saving children" from mutilation and castration and you can learn more after buying the Matt Walsh movie and his book of the movie. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and buy merch too.

It's all to save the kids! (Until they become 18 and then they are adult trans and thus, the enemy.)

"How can we help the least amount of kids that don't actually want or need our help?"

[slaaverin]

Thank you for explaining. I think I got the gist reading it the second time but it’s the terminology I’m not used to, my sister dabbles in tarot but I’m hesitant because of how much it reveals, especially since one time someone who spoke to their guides predicted my miscarriage and never told me before hand, it freaked me out, so reading about Jimin upset me as it seems he is in a bad place bless him. I mean I know logically they are, but the other reading of the whole band said they are also protected when I read that, so that’s something.

I think it makes it all the more important they went in together and somehow fate aligned in the application process to make that happen. They are trapped in there though, both doing crazy things in their careers right now, with Muse and the travel show and now Jungkooks documentary. It’s wild! Do you think maybe Jimin is worried about how vulnerable he’s making himself in this album? He keeps talking about a truth and we are yet to see/hear what he means by that. Maybe he’s second guessing himself in the run up to release. I hope whatever fears and anxiety he does have are allayed eventually because I truly think people do love and support him in the fandom, sometimes the echo chamber doesn’t feel like it but i think people love him fiercely. Glad he has Kook though to lean on when he needs it.

I just wish them the best and all the happiness in the world. And that time flies so they can get out of there fast!

I understand. It's true that tarot is a great tool to learn about energy and psychology but depending on the reader's ethics it can be used badly. To me bluemoonpunch has always been "professional", never reveals too many personal details, never talked about the status of their relationship, it's more on an energetical standpoint which I find educational and interesting to analyze.

I can only speculate about Jimin's fear and give my biased opinion. I feel Muse is a continuation of Face, the natural next step. He wants to reveal himself to us more, tell us something he didn't dare say before. I think he is nervous about this. There is also the travel show to consider, with many eyes on them, more than before. In the past people could dismiss jikook's bond by ignoring their moments or belittle them, but this time the whole fandom will have to sit and watch jikook's dynamic for hours and I am sorry but I think, even without them saying it cleary, it will be blatantly obvious for everyone they are in a relationship. Editors will play the bro card but I don't think this will be sufficient.

Everything will be out on the open, way more than before, and I feel Jimin is aware of this, and dreads the reaction of people because it makes him worried for Jungkook and his own safety.

Muse + the travel show is a lot to think about at once, plus we don't know how exactly is the situation inside. I think he made friends but with everyone? I am not sure. Maybe he worries about things from the inside too, we don't know.

Overall I think this would be a lot for anyone, and I am glad Jungkook helps him in this situation.

I'm trying to tell myself that before making the decision to make Muse and the travel show, he thought about it, he pondered it. So he knew what kind of consequences there could be. Yet he decided to go through with it anyway. He might have had his reasons. I trust his judgement on that.

I feel like he knows why he did it, I don't think he regrets his choices, yet I can imagine him going into the worst case scenario in his head, what if it goes wrong? What if it hurts me, us? I think it's a very human thing to think about. Because he can try to predict the outcome but in truth he cannot control it, so he has fear.

I think he cares what people think because he doesn't want Jungkook to get hurt. Depending on what truth he reveals in Muse he could be afraid of consequences.

I am curious to see what this untold truth will be, and if somehow things are connecting together or not, how everything fits.

I hope Jimin and Jungkook can rely on each other during this time, and maybe it's best they are busy with military life not to think too much about it.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts 💜

[seasidepalmbeach]

High-Functioning Anxiety: Signs & Symptoms

Unlike other anxiety disorders, high-functioning anxiety is not recognized as a formal mental health disorder. Instead, it’s used as an umbrella term by people who live with anxiety but consider themselves to be high-functioning in different aspects of their lives. But is this a legitimate disorder? Today, we are going to explore the signs of high-functioning anxiety and whether it’s as serious as some medically accepted anxiety disorders.

What Is High-Functioning Anxiety?

Over 40 million adults in the United States (19.1%) have an anxiety disorder, and 7% of children between the ages of 7 and 13 experience problems with anxiety every year. Most people even develop symptoms before they are 21.1

Of these, some consider themselves to be high-functioning. When applied to mental illness, high-functioning is a term used to describe those living with a mental illness that isn’t easily noticeable by others. Like people with high-functioning addictions, people with high-functioning mental disorders can hold down a steady job, keep up with their studies, have good hygiene, and even maintain healthy relationships.

Although it isn’t acknowledged as a formal mental health disorder, high-functioning anxiety symptoms are generally acknowledged by many medical professionals. For instance, many speculate that Stephen “tWitch” Boss had high-functioning depression, as he was able to hide his symptoms from everyone until his heartbreaking suicide on December 13, 2022. However, some medical experts are referring to his condition as a persistent depressive disorder rather than a high-functioning condition.

Even so, a person with high-functioning anxiety may seem put together, calm, and organized on the outside, though they may feel completely different on the inside. Oftentimes, these individuals struggle with overthinking, the constant need for reassurance, and believing that others think poorly of them.

High Functioning Anxiety Symptoms

Any high-functioning mental disorder is going to be difficult to identify if you aren’t aware of its signs. Someone with high-functioning anxiety, for instance, might be the picture of success.

They’re that one person who always gets to work early and is the last one to leave. They’re always on top of their tasks, and they’ve never fallen short. They may always be willing to help and do whatever it takes to get the job done.

What others might now know about people like this is that beneath this seemingly perfect surface is a person who struggles with needing to feel accepted, perfect, and in control. They may fear rejection or disappointing others. Their nervous energy, fear of failing, and fear of letting others down may have been the driving force of their success.

Although there’s no substantial research on high-functioning anxiety and how it affects people, anecdotal reports allow us to understand that people with this condition may present the same symptoms of anxiety but on a milder end of the spectrum.

With that said, some common signs of high-functioning anxiety include:

Arriving too early for appointments or work

Avoiding eye contact with others

Feeling the need to please others all the time (afraid of driving people away, being offensive, or letting others down)

Frequent need for assurance (checking on others frequently or constantly looking to others for direction)

Frequently comparing yourself to others

Inability to “enjoy the moment” (being unable to relax and be in the present or expecting the worst possible outcome)

Inability to say no, which contributes to an overloaded schedule

Mental and physical fatigue

Nervous habits or fidgeting, such as playing with your hair, cracking your knuckles, biting your nails)

Overthinking

Poor social life from always turning down invitations

Procrastination followed by long periods of undistracted work

Racing mind

Rumination or frequent tendency to dwell on negative thoughts (a lot of “what if” thoughts)

Talking a lot or “rambling” when you’re nervous

The need to do repetitive things (rocking back and forth)

Some high-functioning anxiety signs are considered to be positive in our society, such as having an outgoing personality, being punctual, being organized, being proactive, being detail-oriented, being passionate, and more. But all of these seemingly positive things can be manifestations of a real problem. If you’re unsure of how to treat high-functioning anxiety, a professional rehab center can offer you the care you need.

[chronussy-bc]

UNPOPULAR OPINION: Creed actually resembles Sephiria more than he does Train. (Final)

2. Determination:

As promised, here is the part where I discuss about Sephiria. This took longer to finish than I first expected.

Sephiria Arks:

Firstly, she has little concern over others' well-being when it comes to sacrificing for the missions. Now, don't get me wrong. Sephiria does value lives. She would never kill a fly were it uncalled for. However, as long as it benefits her goals, or in particular Chronos's goals, Sephiria would take any option into consideration, despite them being very unethical. She would definitely feel conscience stricken about her decisions, but not before carrying out those extreme measures.

For instance, she once lured Train to Creed's castle, where the Cerberus was attacking in order to have Train fought Creed in their stead, reducing the risk of loosing her subordinates and facilitate them to obliterate the rest of the Apostles. Sephiria was well aware of Train's and Creed's combating prowess being rather equal, also having some pretty good speculation of how deep Train's hatred for Creed run. She was in no way unable to tell the result of that fight if it had happened: one or both of them must die. However, her appreciation for Train did not stop her from using him as a scapegoat. That plan, though immoral, was optimal, and Sephiria, while just visited Train's hideout to ask for his help a few chapters prior, had totally disregarded his consent to take advantage of making the first move.

Another example is her judgement in Kyoko's case. Sephiria specifically chose the rendezvouz point at a remote, wild area, uphigh on a rocky mountain. Even Rinslet had to question this particular choice, which means it is really unusual for a meeting with no planned hostile occurrence to happen in a place like that. This abnormalcy had been explained with Sephiria revealing her intention of erasing Kyoko on the spot had she not stick to her promise with Train. Sephiria picked that place because it would have been a perfect spot for a direct execution. No one would suspect such an incident had been carried out on the mountain, if anyone were ever to get to that location for whatever reason. There was no witness around but Chronos men and Rinslet who Sephiria was sure knew better to keep silence. The cleaning of the scene would be easy as well since there was no complex structure, only a clear field. She even brought Berze along to guarantee Kyoko's decease should a fight have broken out. All that meticulous arrangement because she felt the teenage girl still had the potential to be a threat, in spite of what had been reported to her.

And let's not talk about Lin's scheme to make the Sweeper Alliance their pawns. They are mostly innocent people without any knowledge of the Apostles' abilities, which Lin also intentionally kept secret from them. Sephiria had approved Lin's idea, agreeing on deceiving those people to walk the landmine first.

Secondly, If Creed had had a bet against the great odds with nanomachines, Sephiria also went the same length with her live. In the final battle, Sephiria had worn an explosive bracelet as a final resort to ensure Creed's death. She did not know beforehand that he had obtained immortality and was quite confident she would be able to take him one on one, although he was enhanced with taoism. Nevertheless, she still prepared a way to drag him with her should the worst outcome prevail. Sephiria did not mind to have her body blown up to pieces if that could secure the success of her mission. She literally came up with something that could make her death useful for Chronos.

Thirdly, oftentimes everyone would never actually see Sephiria as a person who would opt for killing or sacrificing anyone for organizational interest, until she did it for real. Sephiria's biggest mistake was to underestimate Creed's crazy antic for his ideal, yet ironically, supposed the perspective change, Sephiria and he were very much alike in this aspect. In the Cerberus arc, Berze had not expected her to utilize Train so quick after learning he would not cooperate. He had repeatedly asked her was she certain that she was fine with her calculation, to which she decisively claimed that she would become devil himself as long as she could complete her missions. While judging Kyoko, Jenos had not anticipated she still upheld the intention of eliminating the girl after listening to his narration. Fortunately for Kyoko that she had had enough resolve, or else that grave Sephiria carved for her, as Sephiria explained herself, would not only be meant for putting up an act.

Sephiria comes pretty close to be a "Creed Diskenth" portrait in a positive light. Nevertheless, there is a line that Sephiria would not dare cross while Creed would, and that is obliterating everything that get in the way of achieving a personal ambition. Chronos is no heroic figure, but at least, they have their principles that are acceptable and actually promote the world's stability. Creed's plan is outrageous and extreme, as he imposed his standard of usefulness and worthiness of existing on others exhaustively. He does not care about people, he only cares about his preferrence about how the world should be. He would prolong the genocide until he feels the society is perfect enough, and he doesn't acknowledge this action as a sin. Those who oppose him are the real sinners in his opinion, and he won't exclude anyone from execution, even Train, who meant so much to him.

Sephiria, on the other hand, was not so resolute in giving up those whom she genuinely values, even when it's for Chronos or in a more generic view, for world peace. Undoubtedly, she would go all in to succeed in her missions, but at the same time, she would look for solutions that could reduce the damage on her side. The Guardians are her comrades and responsibilities, and while they have all signed up for a live threatening job voluntarily in the first place, Sephiria still compromises to put others in danger to protect her men. Her priorities are kinda built like this throughout the story: Chronos purposes -> <- the Guardians -> civilians -> her moral view and well-being. She does recognize her actions as dishonorable. If allowed, Sephiria would opt for ways that doesn't require anyone's death, but considering her position and profession, that seems rather impossible.

So yeah, that's basically my comparison of these two characters. I do believe the fact that the author made Train choose his separate way, a lifestyle that is entirely distinct from theirs, is a manner of saying how Sephiria and Creed are similar, and that neither of the two ideals is right, even when Sephiria's one is considered acceptable for the greater good. At the end of the day, Train's resolve had prevailed them both, and he was the one to pick forgiveness over vengeance. Putting the plot armor aside, that is quite a meaningful message.

[sllhouettedreams]

Hi, I just read Forehead kisses and wanted to re-read Chasing Tomorrow. My simple question is do you have a backup of what you delete? More importantly why deprive the world of AFTG of such well written fics? Please bring them back 🙏😭

Yes, I have kept what I had written for chasing tomorrow and the two part I had planned afterward. I appreciate you so much for coming to ask about it and show your support. I honestly didn't think people would notice or care enough. While there is a tiny sliver of myself that believed the story just didn't matter to anyone else... the 'why' is really, really complicated.

The official answer is that... Objectively, it's not a very well-written story and I should have spent more time than I did to edit and piece each chapter together. Unfortunately, as I usually do with things I write (with very few exceptions) I began to hate it? Usually, even when I hate things, I don't delete them. But that combined with what little feedback received and a few weird bookmark notes a few people added, I felt uncomfortable leaving it up even as an orphaned story. I also deleted the other AFTG fics I had posted on AO3.

Every few weeks I consider going back to it, to fix it up and finish what I started because I still like the direction I went with it and the interpretation of canon I had planned, but something something seasonal depression. something something long personal story under the cut.

To summarize what's under the cut: I wrote Chasing Tomorrow to deal with a time in my life that was highly emotional and I'm not, currently, in the headspace to revisit or continue with Trusting Tomorrow and Tomorrow, After All (which would be the third post-canon continuation). I really, really do want to, though. Eventually, I will.

This is the sad bit so stop reading if you don't want to read about death, abuse (including sexual), and suicide mention in a long emotional ramble.

So I read AFTG for the first time in May of last year when I got COVID. It was a great distraction from being sick enough I couldn't move. I immediately was obsessed, actually.

Here's the thing, my family is kind of a fractured mess. I lived through poverty, homelessness, and abuse, physical, verbal, emotional, and even sexual. So I related to every single character (particularly andrew and neil, which is common, I think), on some level.

So this outrageous, messed up fucking story, meant a lot to me? As stupid as it sounds, I guess.

Anyways, here comes the sad part.

Literally the next week after I finished reading AFTG, my sister died. At the time, we didn't know what had happened to her and why she died so young-- she struggled with mental health and her disabilities a lot so everyone, even people I didn't know speculated it was suicide as she had attempted it before, more than once. I very nearly deleted my facebook because of the people who contacted me and things they said.

Less than two months later, my dad passed away, too. It was around this time that we finally learned how my sister had died as well. I wasn't on good terms with either my sister or father. I always put off making things right for many reasons. Pride, not enough time, exhaustion, the amount of emotional labor they both had always required, "if they wanted to fix things they would try" blahblahblah. I thought I had more time, see?

I became kind of obsessed with AFTG because well, outside of connecting with the characters, there's the whole motif of death and dying and meeting an inevitable end- not knowing if you have the power to change anything but trying your damnedest anyway, but accepting the worst outcome should it happen. It all seemed very profound to me at the time. And it was a distraction from all the emotions I was dealing with.

But, eventually emotions demand to be felt.

So in between those deaths, I began to write Chasing Tomorrow. It began as an exploration of grief and the burning desire to have changed something, anything, to prevent loss. It was a story that, I felt, was about love and the destruction it leaves behind when the person embodying it dies. About second, third, fourth chances to make things right. If there was a magical moment that could have fixed everything, about going back and not missing it that time.

When it was finished, I had no better understanding of what actually happened, of what I could have done, and what life will be like now without her. It was an outlet, but in the end I didn't get any satisfaction from it.

Writing it out now, and opening up about why I wrote it and what I thought it would do for me, I'm understanding exactly why I resent it now. It feels stupid, actually.

[minstrxll]

&&. Regarding The Leaks... here are my thoughts. Spoiler-free.

[violettelueur]

— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE FIFTEEN || KYOTO SISTER SCHOOL EXCHANGE EVENT - GROUP BATTLE 1

↳ featuring : basically everyone at this point from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 22 march

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 3.6k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : kyoto sister school exchange event - group battle 0

↳ next episode : kyoto sister school exchange event - group battle 2

↳ barista’s notes : let me admit...i can’t wait for my school term to finish...i am so done with education at this point ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ but other than that, i will continue my best to study for my last four exams (ugh) and get the best grades that i can  ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ i hope you enjoyed this episode and let’s be excited for your coffee orders (requests) to be given at the 31st of March or 1st April ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5. for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique

no cursed spells used this episode..

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

“We’re starting in one minute”

“Now, let’s hear a few words of well-appreciated encouragement from Iori Utahime-sensei,” Gojo suddenly declared, leading the mentioned teacher to look at her colleague in complete shock before quickly beginning to sprout out whatever came into her head.

“U-Uh...Um, some degree of injury will be unavoidable, but, um..now and then, help each other out..or something…” Utahime stuttered out causing you and everyone else from the Tyoko team to look up at the speakers in both confusion as well as fed-up expressions since all of you knew that it was one of Gojo’s teasing antics again.

“Times up,” Gojo quickly stated in a playful tone leading you to look off to the side as you began to look around the area since you were wondering how the principals, teachers and possibly other jujutsu sorcerers were observing you since there were no cameras located to which caused you to suddenly come in eye contact with a pair of piercing pure onyx eyes that were staring down at the group you were with now making you come to the conclusion that someone was using a technique that allowed them to share sights with crows or have their sense being shared with them...either way, it was like having someone watching you 24/7.

‘Creepy...it’s like they’re sensing my death’

“Hey! Gojo, you little…” Utahime yelled out, irritated that she was interrupted out of her little encouragement speech - well, it wasn’t like she had a lot to say to you all anyways.

“Now, let the sister school exchange event...begin!” Gojo enthusiastically yelled out like it was a sports match, encouraging everyone in your team to start running forward in order to gain a head start on whatever the plan was.

“Respect your seniors!” the Kyoto teacher exclaimed loudly through the speakers after since it seemed like she wanted to remind your adoptive father that she was older than him, which can to a surprise for you since she looked much younger than you thought she was - well...you could say Gojo was a bit of the worst end when you found out his age, he seemed completely younger than he had mentioned to you when he took you out to a dessert place after a mission he set for you.

“Ichiro?!” Itadori questioned as he turned back to look at the speakers as if he was going to get the answer he wanted while Fushiguro looked at him with a non-chantant look on his face.

“So stupid,” Kugisaki commented as she gave off a disappointed look as she continued to run.

“Where do you think the cursed spirit boss is?” Itadori asked both Panda and Maki as he came toe to toe with them as he ran since he was truly determined to win this event as soon as possible.

“It was probably unleashed halfway between both schools, but it’s not just going to sit still, we just need Gojo to get there first to exorcise it since she isn’t allowed to fight anyone,” Panda answered, as you managed to catch up to your first-year classmate leading him to question how fast you could actually run since you didn’t show any athletic signs back when you and him were students at Sugisawa Municipal Highschool.

“At the time we agreed upon, we’ll split up into the Megumi squad and the Panda squad for scouting, we’ll be counting on you after that, Yuji,” Maki stated while turning her head slightly to look at the younger student leading Itadori to give her an encouraging salute and smile informing her that he knew what he had to do.

As you all continued to run, the black demon dog was running in front of all of you while barking to indicate where he was going leading you to quicken your speed to make sure you didn’t lose track of it since you now had the role to exorcise any curses that were around with the help of Maki, no matter what grade they were.

“Where are you going?” a spider curse questioned as it began to hang down by a string of its web, trying to seem intimidating when in reality it really wasn’t.

“That's a small fry,” Panda commented, leading you to unhook your katana that was behind your back from its position as you prepared to exorcise the thing by sliding it with the wooden stealth one since it was an extremely weak curse anyway. However, before you could even push yourself forward to cover the remaining distance that was between you and the disgusting spider curse, the demon dog that was in front of you turned it’s head to the side as if it had sensed something else from a distance.

“Gojo, stop!” Fushiguro shouted at you causing you to turn back to him before pressing your front foot to the ground to help slow down and halt your movement causing the demon dog to stand proactively in front of you as a sudden eruption of broken tree trunks as well as a huge cloud of debris covering the remaining path that everyone was running in leading them to pause around you.

Rapidly, as fast as the destruction came was as fast as the instructor appeared from the mist as Todo struck everyone was a confident grin since he was joyful that he had found everyone from the Tokyo team right in front of him - it was as if he had struck gold.

“Great! You’re all here! Come at me altogether! I want a re-match, Gojo!” Todo declared ambitiously as he pointed at you, leading everyone to go into a fighting stance since they didn’t want the possibility of losing you even when you knew that they knew that you could defend yourself, just not attack your opponent back at all.

As expected, Itadori took the first step as he ran towards the large student before suddenly jumping up to reach and grab onto Todo’s face as he proceeded to slam it against his knee, causing you to slightly cringe since you didn’t want to know how much pain his nose might be going thought at the very moment in time.

“Gojo! Don’t worry, I got Todo in check!” Itadori informed you, leading you to smile and nod at him as a way to thank him, causing Maki to shout out the command that everyone needed to do right now.

“Scatter!” Maki yelled out causing everyone to run off in two different directions with Kugisaki, Panda and Inumaki going to the left side of the forest, while you, Fushiguro and Maki took the right side, as you all needed to go in different directions to cover up a large amount of area you all had to cover in order to find the grade two cursed that was released for the players to exorcise to win the event for today.

“Todo was alone, it seemed like he really wanted to fight Gojo though,” Fushiguro commented as he turned back to look at you and Maki, while still running since there was a possibility that the grade-one sorcerer would come looking for you.

“We were right to swap Gojo with Yuji into that role,” Maki stated as she turned to you with a confident smile on her face leading you to give her one back before shifting your eyes to the dark blue metal pole that was dangling on the side of your hip, where you held it in place with a black belt that Kugisaki had gifted you one day during one of your random shopping trips.

‘I’ll thank her again later when all of this is done’

                                          ꕥ

BEFORE THE EXCHANGE EVENT STARTED:

“Todo will absolutely be out to crush us straight away, Mai might follow behind him to come after me, too,” Maki mentioned to everyone, as she held her chin in a thinking posture as you sat next to her with your arms placed behind you to help support your upper body.

“Todo’s a monster, the worst possible outcome would be that we all face him and get wiped out,” Maki explained before turning to look at you before letting out a sigh of disappointment since she needed to change the current plan due to the fact there was a few new little rules being placed upon you to make the game fair. “So our plan was to leave just one person, that’s why we wanted Gojo to take him on since she is the most capable of keeping him at bay or more like knock him out to give us some time but rules are rules. Itadori, we’ll leave that role to you,” your senior classmate declared as she took in yours and Fushiguro’s suggestion from before leading to the mentioned sorcerer to point at himself with a little uncertainty.

“We’d rather not lose anyone who can scout out our enemies, you don’t have to beat him, just hold out as long as possible and buy is time,” Maki said with a smile as she lifted a thumbs-up to somewhat cheer up your classmate since she wasn’t completely sure on how well this plan would work, but she had a gut feeling that it was going to go well due to yours and Fushiguro’s previous statements.

“But you can be daring against him! To be blunt, we weren’t counting on your abilities anyway, so it won’t affect us too much if you have to quit,” Panda teasingly commented while giving him another thumbs-up, leading Itadori to inform his upperclassmen on how ‘mean’ his comment was in a whining tone.

“Sorry, Y/N. You wanted to face Todo, didn’t you?” Panda asked as he leaned his body forward to get a quick look at you.

“I’m good either way, it’s such a complete drag to fight him again anyways,” you answered before leaning your head back to face the ceiling as it seemed like a wave of unnecessary tension has been lifted from your shoulders - even though you knew you were more than capable of beating Todo, you weren’t too keen on fighting the close-ranged sorcerer since he was just plain annoying in your mind.

“But Senpai, if I’m gonna do this, then I’m gonna win,” Itadori declared with determination laced in not only his tone but his posture as well, leading you to look back down at him before gifting him an assured smile that quickly displayed itself of your face as you then gave him the final thumbs-up of approval that he needed.

‘Yeah, he’s got this’

                                              ꕥ

While you, Fushiguro and Maki continued to run in whatever direction you three were going in, you were more focused on locating the second-grade curse you needed to exorcise to get this event done and over with since today you weren’t really in the mood to get into many first - you didn’t even have a single drop of orange juice today, and that already made you irritated.

However, as you continued sensing for the cursed spirited that you required to know the location of, your mind couldn’t help but get distracted by the amount of cursed energy that was looming around the area Itadori and Todo were located before at least four people from the ground and one person from above started to unexpectedly move away from leading you to become perplexed but slowly beginning to understand what was happening as you looked up to the sky to find a familiar blonde-haired sorcerer as she rode a broom across the sky.

“Fushiguro, use Nue right now,” you commanded, leading your classmate to look at you before looking up at the direction you were staring at to finally understand what you meant, which caused him to quickly summon the owl-like shikigami right in front of you.

“Take her down,” Fushiguro demanded his shikigami leading to the bird to unexpectedly appear behind the flying sorcerer with purple electricity enveloping his wings before flapping them down to transfer the high voltage lighting bolts to the third-year student leading to her falling from the sky into the maltitude of trees below to break her falling or possibly help her land somewhere that was not the ground to have a lighter impact than it should really.

“That’s strange,” Fushiguro suddenly commented, as you and Maki halted on your sprint since you all knew you couldn’t discuss the matter in hand while running to god knows where you three were planning to head to.

“All the Kyoto students are moving together, they’re all going to the same location,” you mentioned as you continued to survey where they were heading off to with your sense still enhanced.

“You mean that’s where the target is?” Maki asked you since she didn’t have the ability to see cursed energy at all, unlike you and Fushiguro, while the divine dog decided to nudge his snout against the back of your hand leading you to rub its head causing it to emit a rubble/purr as it begins to lavish on the affection it was receiving from you.

‘Not really the best time, but why not…’

“No, unless the second-grade is especially cunning, my demon dog would have noticed it,” Fushiguro said in a stern tone causing the dog to bark once in response before returning back to the attention you were giving it. “They’re trying to kill Itadori, aren’t they?” Fushiguro rhetorically questioned, leading a sigh to come out of your mouth before you turned your head towards the predicted location where you could sense the Kyoto’s students' cursed energies.

“It’s possible,” Maki replied as her gaze moved downwards, trying to understand why they would attempt an assassination during the Kyoto Sister School Exchange Event, especially since the act of killing was prohibited as one of the main rules.

“I don’t sense that much hostility from them, but due to Itadori’s surprise survival, it is possible that Principal Gakuganji ordered then to that but to be honest, that was quite stupid of him since they don’t have the strength to even fully commit the assassination,” you quickly mentioned to your teammates leading them to look up at you with confusion on their faces.

‘I have to thank Gojo for this information later as well’

“Zenin Mai: grade three, Miwa Kasumi: grade three, Nishimiya Momo: semi-grade two, Muta Kokichi: semi-grade one, Kamo Noritoshi: semi-grade one and Todo Aoi: grade one,” you listed as you adding in their grades to make sure Fushiguro and Maki got an idea on what you were about to explain to them. “Out of all of them right now, Todo is the only one that has the capability to fight Sukuna, so Principal Gakuganji was willing to sacrifice his other students really quickly for the execution of Itadori since the rest of them wouldn’t survive,” you informed your schoolmates causing them to shudder at the fact on how informed you already were about the other students without them even ever mentioning about them to you.

“We’re turning back, guys,” Maki stated, causing you to turn to look at her before giving a nod to indicate to her that you understood what she wanted.

“Sorry,” Fushiguro unexpectedly apologised, while Maki just turned away and started to walk back in the opposite direction where everyone was running from.

“What are you apologising for, dummy? There’s no point in winning or losing the exchange event if your friend dies,” Maki said in a disappointed tone, leading to both you and Fushiguro to look at each other before starting to slowly follow her from behind leading you three to go back into the wooded area in search for the other Kyoto students, who were technically on the run now since they seemed to have failed to execute Itadori from what you could sense in the back of your mind.

‘Team Panda is probably doing the same right now since I can faintly sense Panda and Kugisaki going into the forest again, where is Inumaki though?’

                                            ꕥ

“They’re up ahead,” you informed both Fushiguro and Maki since you could feel a stronger presence of cursed energy that was in front of you, leading you to realise that there were at least two Kyoto students since the rest of them seemed to split off somewhere.

Maki turned back to you and gave you a nod before fastening her pace as she suddenly noticed a shine of blue hair coming into her view leading the weapons specialist to prepare her red spare before quickly appearing out from your guys hiding spot to attack Miwa, who quickly managed to notice your upperclassmen as she pulled out her katana from her sheath to deflect Maki’s surprise as well as incoming attacks.

“Gojo, go ahead and find the curse, I’ll take care of Kamo-san,” Fushiguro informed you to which you replied to him with a nod.

During that second, Fushiguro came out from the side and headed towards Kamo leading you to take the small time that you were given to go on ahead and search for the grade-two curse that you needed to exorcise, only to suddenly feel a presence coming from behind leading you to rapidly turn around while raising your katana at the same time, only to discover Kamo standing right in front of you with his bow making direct contact with your weapon, leading you to become confused on why the semi-grade one sorcerer would even try to sneak attack you from behind.

‘Huh?’

“You didn’t even unsheathe your weapon, that’s strange,” Kamo commented, leading you to give him a deadpan look since you didn’t want him to notice or sense your confusion right now.

“Didn’t your little principal inform you to not fight with me or are you just getting a little too confident? That attitude of yours is going to be a drag,” you stated back in a nonchalant tone.

“Kamo-san, are you guys planning to kill Itadori?” Fushiguro asked from behind causing the mentioned sorcerer to turn his head back to view the erratic-haired sorcerer, leading you to smirk before you switch your hand that was holding the katana as you swiftly pulled it back to thrust the tip of your katana into Kamo’s stomach causing him to widen his eyes in shock as an immense pain started to engulf him as his body was pushed back with vast pressure causing Fushiguro to move out of the way to avoid his body colliding with Kamo’s.

‘Don’t get distracted next time, you drag’

Holding onto his stomach, Kamo slowly looked up at you and Fushiguro before coughing out in pain since your attack was more than what he had expected.

“And if I said we were?” Kamo answered, causing you to look at him with massive suspicion in your eyes.

“You failed, then. Itadori wouldn’t go down in such a short time,” Fushiguro declared with a small praise for his friend as he raised his tonfa in a defensive pose while you just straightened yourself up since you had no worries about being attacked again.

“We have no reason to kill him,” Kamo stated with a smirk on his face causing you to turn your head to the side and scoff at him since it was hilarious that he was acting so confident after just barely managing to withstand a simple physical attack from you before you turned back to face him again.

‘What a drag~’

“Yes, you do. The higher-ups and the three major clans have plenty,” you mentioned before resting your katana over your shoulder to relax for a second since you could sense that this fight was either going to be easy or too easy for your liking.

‘It’s surprising that he is attempting to fight me though, I wonder if Gojo-sensei forgot to inform them about this little extra rule but I still need to find out about that mole...’

                                              ꕥ

“Ah~ I thought I told you to tell your students to not attempt to fight Y/N? they’re only going to get hospitalised in the process,” Gojo playfully asked, as he turned to look behind his seat to be eye to eye with the Kyoto Principal, who was in charge of informing his students about this new rule that he and Principal Yaga implemented.

“Well, she attacked Kamo, so she’s breaking the rule isn’t she?” Utahime asked as she took a sip from her cup leading Gojo to turn to look at her with a slight frown on his face.

“Well, your student did attack her first, she can’t help but retaliate since that was her normal strength right there. If it was any other student, they would have been eliminated real quick,” Gojo informed his colleague causing her eyes to widen before turning back to the screen to only discover your eyes were directly looking at her since you were directly looking at the crow that was inspecting you right now.

“She’s quite an interesting girl,” a sorcerer from behind commented as she proceeded to open her eyes. “Not only did she notice my crows looking at her since the start of the event, but she’s also quite strong, no wonder you took her in,” she mentioned as she faced forward to notice Gojo looking at her.

“She’s a tough cookie, isn’t she Mei-san?” Gojo said with a proud smile on his face before he processed to face the screens again with the smile now straightening.

‘I don’t know what he’s trying to do, but I know Y/N won’t fall for it naively, she’s more the type to manipulate his plan...besides, it’s as if she’s giving him a death glare right now’

This thought of his caused him to giggle lightly, creeping out Utahime as she stared at him in pure confusion.

‘I know she can do it’

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[trashlie]

I find it worth thinking about Kousuke & Alyssa as mirrors who negatively reinforce each other as opposed to Nol & ShinAe. While AeGi managed to develop a positive effect on each other in a few months, KouLyssa failed to do that during all those years. Why is that? Is it because they don't challenge the worst parts of themselves? Because what they currently seek isn't emotional connection but power and influence? I agree Alyssa might actually see herself in him, someone who shares the same values as her. I've wondered, did Kousuke ever use her as a way to diffuse tension between him and Nol the way he did with Shinae? Has he ever compared the two girls? Like in Ep26, he had a conversation about favors and opportunities that tied into Yui's philosophy from Ep135. While Shinae didn't want a handout for the call center job, Alyssa took the offer to become a pop idol. What does he think of their choices especially after their outcomes? Would Alyssa's success reaffirm his beliefs? This is what I mean by not challenging themselves. Will their images have to break for them to finally reflect on themselves through each other? 1/?

Honestly, I'm surprised Alyssa doesn't seem to be taking her training seriously. I assumed that as a people pleaser she'd try harder to get on everyone's good graces. Even if she is losing her passion for dancing, she still wants to rise to the top. So, it sounds like she's favoring Yui's way of thinking: making powerful connections trumps hard work. (Funnily enough, I don't think Kousuke has any powerful friends.) But this would totally foil Shinae. Perhaps we'll see more of that in terms of their career paths, work ethics, and reputations. Something to parallel the boys or Yui and Yujing. But also Meg!!! How did Meg turn out so different from her? Because unlike Alyssa and Kousuke, she prioritizes passion in her career and is willing to take accountability for her actions. And while Yui took advantage of all three of them for their lack of strong support system and desire for validation, Meg was the first one to cut Yui off and learn to value herself. We need to talk more about Meg when it comes to them. She's clearly going to play a bigger role in both their futures. Anyways, it'll be interesting to see what shifts in dynamics the time skips bring. 2/?

IT IS TIME!!!! I'm so excited to answer this Nonny and talk about all of your incredible points! I'm answering the last ask in a separate reply, because we both know this is going to get long and I don't want that information to get lost.

This response is, to no one's surprise, really long lmao so enjoy!

From the moment you started talking about Aegi vs Koulyssa as foils, I was already excited because that's exactly it, that's exactly why seeing them as mirror pairs is so important! In the same way that Alyssa and Shinae are foils, and Kousuke and Nol are, as mirrored pairs they HEAVILY foil each other. I had never even given consideration to that, the fact that where Aegi boost and improve each other, we haven't seen the same from Koulyssa. Of course, one solid argument is that Kousuke has been stand offish with Alyssa and they haven't had a lot of time interacting TO make each other better, but I don't think that shoots this down at all.

I think something we see highlighted is that Nol and Shinae are drawn to each other like magnets and Nol has to work hard to avoid/stay away from Shinae after making his decision. The fact that Nol saw sad messages from his friends, including an I really miss you :( from Shinae and just abandoned his moral code and started throwing back drink after drink shows that it's not so easy for him to do it, even if he thinks it's right. On the flip side... does Kousuke have trouble, too? Again, we know so little about them and can only speculate based on what quim has shown us. Why was Kousuke so hesitant to call Alyssa when searching for Nol? Why did he deliberate so long and hard? IS it because in the past he used to her to diffuse tension and he feels some sense of guilt?

Where Nol is very aware of how many similarities he and Shinae share, I wonder if Kousuke is aware of the same with Alyssa. It's clear to anyone (and probably especially Yui, yikes) that Alyssa has a lot more in common with Kousuke, which I think sets a really dangerous precedent, because Kousuke was easily manipulated by Yui (i mean, as her child it's hard not to be lol) and Alyssa seems to follow in that vein. I still can't tell if Alyssa knows more than we think or if she's being pulled along blindly. At any rate, we do certainly see a disconnect, where Nol and Shinae have fought to free themselves of Yui and Kousuke and Alyssa remain in her firm grasp.

Now, something someone brought up while we were talking was: as the sort of "golden children" of their respective families, the ones carrying their families' expectations and the heavy weight of that burden, both Kousuke and Alyssa have likely developed a sort of "survivor" mentality. They've seen how their sibling has been treated (and looked down on) for the ways they perform and they endeavor to be better than that, so that they never fall from grace and experience that same treatment. It's far more evident in Kousuke, because his paranoia literally revealed that lol but Alyssa very likely carries this mentality, too - she can't quit now, she has to keep going and moreso, she must reach the top or else she will be subjected to what Meg was.

In a healthy family, these siblings might have learned to be a shield for their more tormented siblings, but it's safe to say that while maybe not as terrible, the Cho family dynamic is also unhealthy like the Hirahara one and instead we saw them adapt to the role they were shoved into, for better or worse.

Something I find interesting about Kousuke and "the favor" is he later admits he would NOT have given Shinae a job, had she asked, after she learns it was Yui who did it. So why would he bring up the the favor in that matter, anyway? I'm guessing he was testing her? He was surprised that she told him she didn't want him to offer her a job, when he knows most people would be fumbling over themselves to take advantage of an opportunity. Kousuke comes from a world of asskissers and social ladder climbers. Sure HE hasn't had to forge important, powerful connections (because he already boasts power), but he's surrounded by people who do it all the time, and has been instilled with the knowledge from Yui that you should take advantage of opportunities when they're given. Doesn't he later essentially tell Shinae what Yui told him, that she should be appreciative of these offers that anyone else would be grateful for? So maybe he HAS compared them - after all, I think even Kousuke might suspect Alyssa is only dating Nol for the connections it affords her, since he even told Alyssa he thought they were over. This I actually want to know more about, because we know Kousuke has some almost outdated concepts of love - like how he thinks Nol shouldn't have any close female friends lest people think the wrong think of Alyssa and she ends up embarrassed by a two-timer lmaooooo. Does he think it reprehensible to date someone who secures them a certain lifestyle or does he think it is to be expected?

(If it turns out that Yui and Rand ARE a convenience marriage and never really were in love, how would Kousuke feel about THAT?)

So yes, I think there is some merit to Kousuke's belief that handouts aren't always bad - however, I think Ayssa not taking her job seriously would give him conflict. Kousuke is a man who believes in hard work and credits his success to that (rather than, idk, handouts lol) so what would he think if he knew Alyssa was kind of coasting along? (It also brings me back to other contemplations: does Alyssa feel trapped by Yui in a career she doesn't want and has to stay for the sake of the lifestyle, because Yui has something over her head, because it's a stepping stone?)

Will their images have to break for them to finally reflect on themselves through each other?

This is certainly my belief. Given that both of them are propelled by their images and they are both god at shoving down and repressing their feelings or channeling them elsewhere (Kousuke's guilt often comes out as anger towards the person he feels guilty over) I think that's the ONLY thing that will get them to stop and reflect on themselves. Frankly, I can't see anything else that will make them change, because the person they most value is themselves and their goals. Anything that stands in the way of their goal gets cast to the side, and that includes examining the kind of person they are and the things they've done. Both of them have things in their pasts, rooted in their personalities, that are incredibly ugly, and they know it. Facing it means facing EVERYTHING ELSE and neither are ready for that. I think there's also something to the fact that acknowledge you've been manipulated or taken advantage of comes with a lot of shame, and if they were to examine this facet of themselves, how would they deal with that?

I've been thinking for a while now that the only way we will see Kousuke really reflect on his behavior and endeavor to become a better version of himself is if he loses everything or his image is tarnished - whether it's a scandal that he can't buy his way out of or finding himself in over his head in his new position and unable to keep up the way he used to (or worse, if he performs poorly and no one gives a damn because he's coasting by on his name; that would hurt his pride a lot). And because they are mirrors, the same goes for Alyssa. Until they are exposed and left vulnerable, they won't face the truth, because they are protected. Once they lose their image, their protection is gone.

I actually hadn't considered too much how Alyssa appearing to half-ass her career foils Shinae, because I usually focus on the other ways they foil each other, but yeah, that's a really good point! It also lends more to Alyssa saying she really admires Yui - does she mean it or not? This will get REALLY long if I get to deep into this, so maybe I need to revisit ep 59 sometime because in retrospect, the way Alyssa says Yui is such a charitable woman that she wants to be like with her eyes closed makes me second-guess a LOT of things.

Are Alyssa's eyes closed because she knows nothing Yui does is for charity, and that she covets aspects of Yui she knows aren't good? Is she uncomfortable, because seeing Shinae has just been up and given a job like that rings too true to her own case and she's seeing how it looks to others? Is she obscuring a discomfort at knowing Shinae, who knows about Alyssa's past, is so close to a family important to her? Is it that deep down she thinks there's no respect in this easy path? And if THAT'S the case why DOESN'T she work harder, try harder?

And I guess that does give us an interesting potential mirroring of Alyssa and Kousuke - if Alyssa is taking hand outs even if they make her feel uncomfortable and Kousuke tries to reassure himself that he got himself where he did via hard work, then we get a really interesting view of them as people trying to mollify themselves over things that make them uneasy. But hey, maybe they are content to roll with it, because some people are just more fortunate than others and who are they to deny themselves their opportunities?

Regardless, Shinae and Nol definitely still foil them. Nol isn't even getting a special position or role at the family company, but his worth ethic and people skills are absolutely benefitting him more than his name. Shinae has a job handed to her that she wants to leave, but she's still working hard and doing her best to actually earn and deserve that role.

As for Meg, I get the sense that she wasn't actually focusing on her education/career pre-Kim formal, and I think this was heavily part of Yui's manipulation. Yui prbably made Meg feel like she stands a chance (after all, she always pretends she can set them up and make him behave) and Meg probably got distracted, trying to get Kousuke's attention? It was only after she really saw how Kousuke sees her, and how chasing him down played a role in what happened to Shinae (because Kousuke refused to listen to or believe her so he wasn't able to intervene sooner) and I think THAT made her snap out of it and go wtf is wrong with you Meg you are better than this you are MORE than this. (And you know what, maybe there was a bitter little thought deeper down, too, that you aren't Ayssa you aren't going to get a hand out and have your life just work out for you and then realized SHE has to ACTIVELY work on her life.)

I think she was really tightly woven into Yui's manipulation schemes until, like Shinae, she found herself feeling humiliated. I wonder, too, if she's starting to pick up on what kind of woman Yui is - when she told Yui she thought it was time she starts to value herself more, that felt like a very subtle "please stop playing these games with me" undertone. Yui goes on to basically tell her here i can tell you exactly what to do to make things better with Kousuke and Meg tells her she's not in the mood for it - because she knows Yui has been playing with her this whole time and never really cared about her feelings? Because she realizes Yui has been treating her like a little toy for her amusement? I think that's really in line with Kousuke and Alyssa needing their image to be destroyed in order to really start to look at themselves. Meg was a hot mess lmao but I think finding herself humiliated over how she behaved at the formal was enough to make her go wow this is not who you are Meg, get back on track, and be able to step back from Yui.

(Notably, I think Kousuke and Alyssa have gotten "more out of Yui" if that makes sense? Alyssa is in active kpop group that debuted, she seems to have a lot of fans. Why would she start to step back from that? What was Meg getting? A lot of mixed signals and humiliation? Who's going to keep up with that?)

I do agree Meg will only continue to become more important, especially as she's aligning with Yujing (opposite Yui) and she's departing from Alyssa in terms of goals and values. I'm not saying she and Alyssa are forming a rift, but they are being set up opposite each other, possibly to further highlight their individual choices and what roles they take on in this "game". Unlike Alyssa, Meg is starting to realize that everything Yui does is for her own benefit and amusement and that she doesn't care who gets hurt and I think she's finding she doesn't want to be a part of that.

I think another interesting relationship I haven't given a lot of thought to yet is Shinae and Meg, as Alyssa's sister. As Meg becomes more integral and possibly involved in Nol's side of these games, does that mean we see more of Meg and Shinae? Wouldn't it be interesting to see Shinae and Meg as allies before we ever see Alyssa and Shinae reconcile?

Aaahhhhh I loved this ask and I don't know if this is a good answer because I feel like I wound up all over the place so definitely follow up more if you want to! I'm really, really glad you brought up the mirror pairs as foils because that's really important!!!! To how they develop! And if Alyssa and Kousuke as a mirrored pair will ever develop a relationship (not speaking romantically) due to their shared values and alliances. At that point will they start giving each other a better view of themselves or continue as they are?

[crystalbahamut]

ever onwards

FFXIV Write Day 12 – Make-up for Day 07 Speculate

Summary: G’raha Tia likes to gather facts first, but sometimes he still is surprised by the outcome.

Author’s note: I try to write ambiguous WoL but I always forget to take height into account. Deepest apologies to my lala friends; everyone else is more easily fudged. Also please forgive any mistakes; I wrote the whole thing in third person and found I just…really didn’t like it. I know second person isn’t for everyone, especially when used while shadowing another character’s perspective, but I just liked it better. And this is as edited as it is going to get.

Warnings: G’raha Tia/WoL, Shadowbringers spoilers, Crystal Tower questline, mostly unspecified/ambiguous WoL, romantic sap, fluff, 2nd person

Words: 2,692

 ---

G’raha Tia knew this expedition to explore the Crystal Tower would be the opportunity of a lifetime, but he had no way to know just how much it would change his life. The ruins, the relics, even the enemies left to guard the tower do more to serve his research than any tome he has ever found. It’s fantastic and more than he had ever dreamed it would be.

And part of what makes it all so much more is the presence of the Warrior of Light. It is thanks to you he can even access the tower, but more than that you are one of the few friends he has been able to make in his life. And…well, at first G’raha couldn’t help but start flirting. You are so much more wonderful and human than any story has ever made you out to be, and he can’t imagine anyone spending time in your presence and not becoming irrevocably in love with you. He had resolved to stop immediately should you make your discomfort known, but then…

Then you had started flirting back. And now G’raha doesn’t know what to do. Now that he has thought about it (a bit obsessively, perhaps,) he cannot help but marvel at his own foolish bravery to even try, and he wonders how in the world the Warrior of Light does not yet have a suitor. You have nearly all of Eorzea singing your praises, have even wrested the respect of your enemies, and hobnob with some of the most prestigious personages in the world. So how can it be you will not only laugh at G’raha’s jokes, but sometimes smile so abashedly when he himself praises you?

It is entirely possible you have no one special in your life– and given your favorable response to G’raha’s affections, it is not outside the realm of possibility that you might be interested in him as he is in you. While it may seem too good to be true, G’raha won’t relinquish such an opportunity if there is one…and the wondering thereof is starting to affect his work. If he is ever going to focus on anything other than your love life ever again, he must needs find out for certain.

So he shall end his speculation by collecting data. And today is perfect– everyone on site has the day off and you have told him you intend to spend the day not doing any work. ‘Tis a veritable miracle if he ever heard of one– even Cid had looked shocked. And so when you set off…G’raha sets off after you.

G’raha is not a bad hunter, and so he puts that expertise to use as he follows you around. You hadn't noticed him in the Shroud that first time and his tracking skills remain a point of pride now as he follows you to and around Gridania. You do some shopping– and he can’t help but stifle laughter as you get roped into helping out a stressed merchant, a distressed mother, and a pained courier, in that order.

But you do take the time to buy some things– some supplies for crafting you had mentioned wanting, a snack that makes G’raha’s stomach grumble in jealousy– and then you just walk slowly and take in the city, trading hellos with some few that feel comfortable enough to greet you. But through it all you remain alone, and when you pause to sit on a bench G’raha would say you actually look a bit…lonely.

‘Tis food for thought, for certain. Do you have a paramour who simply couldn’t spare the time today? But you are attuned to nearly every aetheryte in the realm; surely if you wanted to spend time with a beloved it would be no hard feat to manage? In fact, surely anyone lucky enough to have you would travel the world to be with you wherever you want them?

You dust yourself off and leave out of the east gate into the Shroud proper, and G’raha follows from a safe distance. You walk leisurely and G’raha can admit to himself the forest is nice, with the faint sounds of birds and a gentle breeze blowing leaves to and fro. He wonders what it would be like, to walk at your side…perhaps hand in hand…perhaps with his tail curling up your forearm…

There are a couple of times you seem to know you’re being followed and you turn to glance in his direction, but even while daydreaming utter nonsense G’raha is ready for such an event and makes certain you see naught but nature itself. Whether or not you feel a presence, you don’t seem terribly bothered, and he follows you all the way down to the South Shroud.

You cleave a little close to Toto-Rak for comfort, but it is a slight shortcut and nothing comes out to bother you before you’re back on the path to Quarrymill. You stop to talk to someone in the small hamlet and G’raha errs on the side of staying out of the way, so he cannot hear what is said, but he can clearly see when you leave out the other gate, which only leads to…

Urth’s Gift. So much for not working today. G’raha cannot help the way his tail twitches in annoyance as he follows behind you. You’re supposed to be resting and Urth’s Gift is dangerous. Yes, you are clearly capable and he has seen you in action in that very area before, but he can’t help but worry at how relaxed you seem about the whole business. Thankfully he had the foresight to bring his bow, and he follows a little more closely, until he gets the benefits of trees and rock faces to clamber and climb for better sight lines.

He doesn’t realize his mistake until you reach the edge of the water, stop, and fold your arms across your chest.

“Don’t worry; I’m not going to make you race me to Ixali territory,” you say with a raised voice and tilt your head to glance back in his direction. “I just fought Garuda again and I’m not keen to incite another summoning so soon.”

He drops down from his branch and assumes his face must be as red as his hair. “How long have you known?”

“I caught a glimpse of you in Gridania and couldn’t help myself,” you say and walk up to him with a friendly smile. “You know, if you wanted to come with me you could have just accepted the offer when I made it.”

“I ah…didn’t want to impose,” he says weakly and puts his bow on his back again. He would be content to run back to Mor Dhona with his tail between his legs right now, but you reach out and grab his hand and he has not the strength to deny your touch. Sweet Azeyma, how deep is he in already?

“If I invite you it’s not imposing,” you say. “I like your company G’raha.”

He looks at you. “Truly?” It comes out so desperate he coughs into his hand and tries to cover it up. “I simply thought– perhaps your time would be better spent with someone you like more than any other.”

“And who do you think that might that be?” you ask him.

“I…don’t know,” he says. Gods; how rude would it be to rip back his hand and run away? And yet this is too much like the tepid fantasies he had just indulged in. Granted the wild hogs and darker shade aren’t quite as lightly atmospheric as just outside the city, but he is still holding your hand in the forest. It must count. “I simply assumed you…must have someone.”

You step forward and you are so close G’raha’s very breath stutters. “No one has ever said anything to me,” you say and you lick your lips and now he’s staring at your lips by the Twelve why. “But I do have someone I like more than any other. And I suspect he likes me too, though I cannot be certain.”

G’raha’s heart sinks. “Oh,” he says and bites back a sigh. “Well if- if it makes you feel any better, there is no one that could receive your affections and not return them. And if this person does not then they are a fool.”

He cannot help how emphatic he becomes, but the idea that you could fall for someone and that person would squander such a precious–

You put your hands on either side of his face and lean in to kiss him. He can do naught but stare, wide-eyed for several seconds, though thankfully the kiss is chaste enough that his delayed clumsy movements can count for a returned gesture before you pull back, an enigmatic smile upon your lips before you ask him, “Are you a fool, G’raha Tia?”

He puts his hands over yours and, again, it takes his brain several long seconds to comprehend what just happened. “I…” He licks his lips. He wants to taste you, feel you, in ways he could have only imagined before. A world, a future is opening up before him, and he wants to see where it leads. “I may be a fool, but not such a deplorable one.”

You roll your eyes but there’s a faint embarrassed smile trying to hide in your face. “It’s not deplorable to not want me, G’raha.”

“We must agree to disagree.” Something snaps and he whips his head around, but there is nothing to be seen, no hogs in the wind, and he relaxes with a sigh. He winks at you. “I must say though, your choice of locale for such a stirring confession is a bit…odd.”

You chuckle and put your hands on his shoulders. “We first met here, so technically it’s where we first started our working relationship,” you say. “I thought it would be nice symmetry if we started our new relationship here too.”

He finds the suggestion…strangely appealing. Perhaps he is odd too, then. To be as odd as his Warrior of Light– well, there are much worst things in the world to be. He puts his hands on your sides and walks forward, guiding you along, until your back meets a rocky wall and he pushes in for a deeper kiss to sate his newfound hunger. Or perhaps it is a thirst he knows he will never quench. It matters not– you are more precious than water in an oasis, and he intends to savor every drop.

---

Decades later and a world away…

G’raha doesn’t know what he’s in for with your invitation to meet him out by the main gate, but he goes with a sense of curiosity and naught else. The night is cool, with a light breeze that blows pleasantly against his face as he walks. He nods in response to those that greet him as he passes by, but, curiously, there is no one present when he arrives outside the Crystarium– no one but you, and you walk up to him with a smile that reaches his heart. It’s embarrassing how quickly you can reduce him to an adolescent miqo’te with his first crush.

He clears his throat and tries to focus on something else. “Where is the guard?”

“Shift change.” You pull him close by his robes. “We have one minute and thirty-seven seconds at most.”

“To do what?” G’raha asks, laughing.

You answer him with a kiss. A deep kiss, dizzying, more than welcome, and G’raha returns it with all the hunger he has felt for far too long, tasting, touching, feeling you in a way that is so intensely personal and warm and wonderful and familiar in a way that makes him realize how much he has ached without your touch. It is, alas, too short, but you both pant in the wake of it.

“Oh…” G’raha gently touches your cheek and his soul sings as you lean into his hand. He licks his lips. He wants more, but the way you shift your eyes towards the gate makes him conscientious of the privacy you’ll soon lack. “I wasn’t sure if…”

“I’m sorry it took so long to arrange,” you say and take his hand to start leading him up the path back to the city. He will follow you wherever, if only you keep your hand in his to guide him. “I knew you probably didn’t want to do that in front of the guards, so I had to watch them to see when we would have a chance.”

But why do it out in the open at all? Why that road? G’raha doesn’t want to ask a question he should perhaps already know the answer to, but curiosity burns at him until he stops and grips your hand to keep you from slipping away. You turn back to look at him and he clears his throat nervously. “Pray forgive me but…why that particular spot?”

Thankfully you don’t seem offended by his question. Instead you grow a wide smile– nay, a full grin. “Do you remember…it’s been a long time, but do you remember the first time we ever kissed?”

“In the Shroud?” he asks. As though he could have ever forgotten; it was only ninety percent of the daydreams he’d had to soothe his mind and soul when the weight of his duty had nearly gotten to be too much. How you tasted, how you felt, how he had felt towards you– it had never failed to stir his heart and renew his commitment to his course to save you at any cost.

“You had followed me around all morning so I led you back to the Shroud, back to where we first met.” You step closer to him and his arms slide around you in automatic response. “At the time I wasn’t completely sure if you liked me like that, but I took a chance and it seemed appropriate to have our first kiss where we first met.”

Slowly, G’raha starts to understand. “Where we first…met. I see.” He cannot help his smile even though it feels so wide as to be ridiculous, and he pulls his hood over his eyes to try and hide how red his face must be for how warm it feels. But he covers the act with, “Perhaps this would have been more appropriate then?”

You laugh and G’raha thinks it shouldn’t be possible to be this happy, after so many decades of pain and fear and loss and longing, but he surges forward to kiss you again and you return the act in full.

“Mm, well,” you drawl sarcastically and gently run your thumb over his bottom lip. “I admit I did spend many a night wondering why on earth I couldn’t stop fantasizing about the Crystal Exarch’s mouth.”

“Oh?” His lips curl of their own accord as he thinks about it– because you would have a crisis about wanting to kiss a man you thought you didn’t know. The idea of you lusting after him though serves to boost his confidence and he pulls you to his body suddenly, tightly. “And what about G’raha Tia’s mouth?”

Your eyes soften. “Ridiculous man,” you say and kiss him again. “You still are, have always been, my G’raha, even when I didn’t know it. But I do now, and if you’ll have me I promise I love you just as much as I did then.”

“I’m not the same as I was,” G’raha says but leans in to nuzzle you.

“Neither am I. So…” You gesture at the gate. “Here’s to new beginnings?”

G’raha smiles. Perhaps he does not deserve to be so happy when his plans went so awry and only worked out due to your sheer stubbornness, but he has never thought himself so austere as to deny himself what he wants when it seems to want him just as much. So he leans in, takes your lips in his, and kisses you tenderly, savoring every second he can, before he pulls back just slightly and whispers, “To new beginnings.”

[phairfantooooom]

Obey Me Explained….. Kinda

In which I do my best to explain the shit hell that is the Time Travel in Obey Me. 

Spoilers: It’s absolute bullshit

So we start in chapter uhhh 15 technically since the plot twist is explained that Barbatos is actually a OP Time Wizard, which feels like a throwaway plot device… like dude there are so many ideas and you use Time Travel? Come on.

However I do appreciate the Yugioh Pyramid room. Good taste.

Anyways Barbatos gives you VERY CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO NOT FUCK UP and what does MC do? Why THEY FUCKING BREAK VERY FUCKING RULE IN THE LAWS OF TIME TRAVEL. *screams in quantum physics*

Barbatos’ Rules of Time Traveling (It’s more so Timeline Hopping but you know what, I can scream all day but it won’t change anything)

Do not reveal you are from the future (More like don’t reveal you are from a different Timeline or Universe)

Do not meet your past self (Hello??? Doppelgängers??? Stay the FUCK away)

Don’t make contact with others from the past. (Go back, observe how Belphie got out and then get the hell out)

To get back to this point in time (Read: Timeline) you need to KNOCK and ENTER through the door you used to get to the past 

Now you may be thinking, Huh? What door? I don’t remember going back through a door in the story…

And you would be right. You didn’t.

From here I’ll be explaining the Timeline and order of events and speculation as to why it occurred the way it did. 

For reference. There is the Original Timeline. Which is OT1, this is the Timeline of chapters 1 to the end of 15.

The Second Timeline, OT2 is the Timeline where Belphie kills you.

The Third and Final Timeline, OT3 is the Timeline we are currently in. Which is from Chapter 16-12 and onwards.

Alright now that’s out of the way let’s get this shit sorted shall we?

When you go through the wack time travel door you are sent back to Chapter 12-13, to the perspective of the brothers as they hide so that THIS TIMELINES YOU can go romance/befriend/ WHATEVER Lucifer. 

So we start with OT1’s MC dropping into Mammon’s bedroom. You know, possibly fortnite like. With everyone in there. Worst possible outcome. And rather than fucking BOLTING, you stay and chat. You know, despite being told not to. You have the option to lie about how you ended up in the room but it doesn’t change the FACTS.

At this point, there are two MC’s. One from OT1 and one that is currently vibing with Lucifer.

The boys end up kicking you out of the room and telling you to go chit chat with Lucifer, unaware that there is already a different version of you doing that.

So you hear Lucifer and your other self coming down the hall and this is where shit starts to get weird.

Regardless of which option you choose (Run, Hide, Turn Invisible- which by the way seems kinda like a weird option right? I’ll get to that later) you end up going into Lilith’s room.

Now. Directly from the transcript.

It’s so warm in here.

I recognize this place. It feels like someplace I know very well.

Now. Time to over analyze. You may be wondering why this matters. I’ll get to that in a bit I promise.

It’s stated that it’s warm. But really that doesn’t make sense. The room is stagnant. Nobody comes in or out. The room is abandoned since Lilith is dead and nobody uses it. However, I have a theory that Lilith is spiritually attached to your body which is why you sense what you feel.

Lilith probably has plenty of memories of sitting by the FIREPLACE in her room with Beel and Belphie. A lot of times people with spirit attachments get senses of déjà vu when they are near places that the Spirit used to frequent when the Spirit was alive.

The next area of weirdness is Leviathan. He comes in, unannounced and addresses you as if you were Lilith.

Transcript:

I’m coming in, okay?

Aha, I thought I’d find you in here.

Wait, Belphie’s not here?

Huh, that’s weird… He was just telling me that he was going to stop by your room.

Both of you were playing hide-and-seek, right?

He said he couldn’t find you. He looked like he was about to cry.

Why don’t you try to go find Belphie yourself? I mean, I guess it’s hard to say who’s it at that point, but still.

Well, see ya later.

Alright. So we have a lot to unwrap here, but I’ll make it short and sweet. Something clearly happened when you KNOCKED and ENTERED Lilith’s room (Hint Hint Nudge Nudge) What happened you ask? You jumped timelines. Which is why everything seems disjointed and jarring. It’s not supposed to be normal or feel normal, the game is subtly telling you that you aren’t supposed to be there.

Time is beginning to fray at the seams and when you exit the room you jump into another timeline AGAIN. As you go to the stairs to get to Belphie which you would think should be vacant, they are not.

From a casual players perspective you’d think oh! Well Lucifer and past me are in the living room, and the brothers are in Mammon’s room. So it’s all clear, right?

Wrong.

From the moment you exited Lilith’s bedroom you entered the OT2 Timeline. Which takes place roughly right after Lucifer imprisons Belphie in the attic. And at this point in time, you haven’t arrived in the Devildom yet.

I make this assumption based on the transcript:

Belphegor: What scares you is the thought of disappointing Diavolo, isn’t it?!

Say something! Lucifer!

The old Lucifer wasn’t like this. He wasn’t afraid of what someone else thought of him. He wasn’t pathetic like that.

Lucifer: You’re free to think whatever you want, Belphegor. Also…

I’d say you’ve changed as well.

It would seem weird for them to be arguing like this in the present since it’s like. Wow y’all are really just arguing over the same plot point for an ENTIRE year? Damn and I thought I was stubborn.

Anyways.

Lucifer comes down the stairs. You hide and yadda yadda and you goooo upstairrrrssss

Oh boy oh boy this gets FUCKED in hurry folks

So you YOU can just. Open the door. Without Lucifer’s pact? 🤔 k. And then you go and have familiar dialogue choices to wake Belphie up and blahhhhh

Let me get something off the table here. I am calling entire Bullshit on the Lilith is my ancestor origin story. I hate it and you may or may not hate it too so I’ll present a better argument.

Lilith, the lovely gal that she was, upon remembering who she was when she died decided to haunt the House of Lamentation. Which would provide reasoning as to WHY people believe the House is haunted.

When you come to the house of Lamentation to stay with the brothers you catch Lilith’s eye, and she sees that you have the potential to fix the rifts between the brothers. When she attaches herself to you she forms a pseudo pact with you. Why is this important? Because that’s how you got the dumb door open in the OT2 Timeline.

Now some of you may be screaming, BUT THEN HOW DID IT WORK IN THE ORIGINAL TIMELINE THEN HMMMM? And to that I answer. Lilith could see how the conversation between Lucifer and you was heading and she went to go unlock the door. And before you yell and say BUT SHE IS A GHOST-

Ghosts can manipulate objects, yeah? All she had to do was open the door.

Now this is my theory, in the canon of the game it uses garbage Terminator Time Travel logic which is A PARADOX. Feel free to fight me on this, I have receipts.

Anyway. You open the door. Oh but! You can choose to call out before you do. But conveniently nobody answers. Which means one of two things. Either Belphie falls asleep very quickly, or something else is at work here.

Remember those turn invisible options? Kinda strange right? I mean they wouldn’t even work anyways so why were they listed? Answer: Lilith. Lilith is a ghost so at times of being discovered it would be easy for a ghost to just vanish. That’s why it’s listed as if it were one of the choices you would instinctively make.

Belphie had just been conversing with Lucifer, and while he is the Avatar of Soth, you have seen his anger. He wouldn’t succumb to sleep while enraged. And he has no reason to ignore you either.

What do I think? 

*puts on tin foil hat like it’s a crown*

It’s because something isn’t letting him hear you.

I’ll get to that something later. First things first.

You get in the room and you have some…. choice dialogue. In OT1 Lilith had let Belphie out and naturally since she is attached to you, you have the same instinctive reaction to do the same. The difference is that you are still you. That’s why there is a Lilith choice and there is a you choice.

Transcript of Chapter 13-10

??? (Lilith):

Belphie…

Wake up…

Sorry Belphie…

Now the choices from Chapter 16-4

Wake up. (Lilith)

Belphegor. (MC)

Sorry. (Lilith)

It’s okay. (MC)

This might be over analyzing but fuck it. We ain’t here to under analyze. 

Moving right along, remember how I said we are at the point where you weren’t in the devildom? Well you went through another door, and jumped timelines again. And not ONLY that but you jump into the body of the OT2 MC, your memories are those of OT1 but you are in the body of OT2.

Where is your OT1 body? It’s hidden by the stairs patiently waiting for you to die so you can inhabit it again.

Weird right? But it makes sense, and here is why.

When Belphie brings you to the edge of death you are lying on the border of the afterlife. As such you would be a lot more susceptible to, let say, communication with ghosts.

A.k.a Our good Lilith.

ALSO NOTE Lilith never outright says she is our ancestor and as such I’m going to ignore what Diavolo says because I don’t trust him for reasons. Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy but I don’t trust him. At. All.

I’m more inclined to believe that Lilith was trying to say “Because you are my last hope.” Rather than descendant. I mean she outright says she chose you and that she has been watching over you and the brothers. Fact-check brought to you by Chapter 16-10.

Alrighty. Still here? Good.

Lilith lends you some of her power. And you pop back into existence.

Now at first I thought. Oh hey Lilith reversed time! That’s neat, now Barbatos isn’t too OP.

Except…. that’s not what happened at all.

The body you had been killed in was in Mammon’s arms. And your OT1 mind and body are now in what I call OT3. The final timeline. Not the true timeline, but the final one.

Now you really should skedaddle back to the palace and go to the yugioh room AND LEAVE 

But you get caught. And things get very very…. suspicious. History at this point IF we were time traveling would be fucked, but since I don’t believe we are, we are still golden.

ALSO TO EVEN PUSH MORE ON THIS FACT YOU HAVE A FLASHBACK TO BARBATOS TELLING YOU NOT TO COME INTO CONTACT WITH ANYONE

But a moment later Leviathan sees you. And things get funky. The OT2 you vanishes, we have canon confirmation that both OT1 and OT2 WERE REAL VERSIONS OF YOU. No fakes here folks.

Now. Here is what piqued my interest.

You explain the story of Lilith and Belphie calls you a liar before Lucifer proclaims it to be true. Then Lucifer asks you how you know about it.

When you tell him the truth, that he had told you, he denies it and asks for an explanation. Before you can so much as breathe a response someone intervenes.

Who you may ask? 

Diavolo, of course.

He makes a proclamation about you being Lilith’s descendant and your connection to her. Lucifer often tries to interject but is shut down. Every. Single. Time.

Hmmmm indeed.

Spiritual attachments, if they are strong enough can cause visions. And you may see memories from the spirit. 

I firmly want to believe that all this is bullshit in an attempt to distract us from the fact that we are not in the correct timeline. 

I mean…. did anyone notice just how easy Belphie gave in once Diavolo used the Lilith card? I mean, seriously, the guy killed you. And attempted to do so again not even five minutes earlier!

Diavolo and Barbatos don’t want you dead. And naturally you’d reason that of course they wouldn’t! The exchange program requires you to be alive after all. But what if…. there is more to it? I have reason to believe that Diavolo has more in mind than just the exchange program.

I mean this is the same man who Barbatos serves, it would be easy for him to just…. manipulate reality. We saw an example of this when the OT2 body vanished.

However keep in mind that the Diavolo and Barbatos we are speaking to are not the same as the original ones. These two are from OT3. And they might have a very very different agenda when compared to OT1.

In Chapter 16-19 we ask Barbatos if we warped history.

This is what we get back:

I know I told you that I have the power to see both the past and the future, but the truth is that there’s one more secret —something I still haven’t mentioned.

You see, I have the power to select from any number of different potential realities and make any of them into the sole reality.

Within the various potential realities, there are an infinite number of versions of MC…

...however, in the sole reality I chose, the one and only MC is the one right there. That’s why the previous MC disappeared while you remained…

Now by this logic, there are an infinite number of Barbatos’. Which poses an interesting question. OT3 Barbatos is acting as if he is OT1, which he is not. But him acting shady isn’t not the big issue here, believe it or not.

He can manipulate reality. Unravel it at his fingertips. He himself could have gone back and figured out that the ghost of Litith was the one to have opened the door. Which begs the question, why didn’t he?

Either OT1 Barbatos does not possess the ability to manipulate reality or he had withheld information on purpose. 

Now that’s a scary thought. I mean why would they withhold information unless…. unless…

You were a danger.

I am in the belief that Barbatos of OT1 is on your side, he gives instructions on how to get back. Because you NEED to get back. There are consequences for messing with time, like…. getting stuck in a parallel reality. *wink wink*

On the other hand… if Barbatos of OT1 COULD manipulate reality then why bother with you unless… there was an extra variable at play.

What if Barbatos couldn’t see what happened. What if Mister OP Time Wizard suddenly encountered an anomaly with you? What if this entire situation was orchestrated by Diavolo in an effort to figure out why Lilith attaches herself to you?

But. The horror doesn’t end here folks.

I believe that OT3 Diavolo and Barbatos are lying in an effort to keep you here, in OT3. After all, Barbatos just yeeted the OT2 MC into smoke after all. And we have NO idea where the OT3 MC is. Honestly I have a very funny feeling that you, the OT1 mc, have powers of your own. Ones that are not related to Lilith.

Because Lilith is just lending her aid, you already have something there for her to boost.

You traveling back in time (Timeline hopping, fight me) May have been a test, a test to see if you had powers locked up inside you.

And I think that you do. I think that we are being played as a fool and that there is something much larger at play here.

Or - And please hear me out - I’m going stir crazy in this quarantine.

Hope you guys enjoyed 💚

A/N this took me about 2 hours? To write and bounce between apps. This is about 2.8k words. Maybe I’ll come back and elaborate more on this but it’s late and I’m tired lmao. Someone take the tin foil away from me-

[khonaker]

A Personal Potential Concern with Ch. 320

Honestly, come 320, and the coming fight that is bound to happen. I think there’s one person that poses the most significant threat to Midoriya.

No, not Todoroki. Not Yaoyorozu. Not Bakugou.

In fact, this person can easily become an immediate threat to everyone in Class 1-A.

Think about it.

Dark Shadow is empowered by two things. The first is darkness, a fact we knew ever since the Calvary Battle. The second is negative emotions from Tokoyami if he lets said emotions get the best of him.

And we all saw what happens if that occurred.

Thus far, we’re only used to seeing him get stronger in actual darkness.

But we’ve never seen in action Dark Shadow be affected by other means, like quirks that use darkness as a weapon, such as blasts of energy.

And I have no reason to suspect that if Dark Shadow was to be struck by such a quirk, it wouldn’t affect him. He’s sentient, but he is still a quirk. He could soak it up like a sponge, feeling no pain from it and actually get stronger, but if he gets hit too much with it, he could become more unruly.

Of course, a lot of it is speculation, since that was one of Tokoyami’s most unique aspects: he’s the only hero we’ve seen so far that has a quirk based on darkness.

Then came the JT arc. We see of course Kuroiro’s quirk, that he integrates with anything black.

Then, we see Deku suddenly get Blackwhip. And we are introduced to the original user, Banjo. He reveals that his quirk is enhanced significantly thanks to One For All, and one of the things he warns Midoriya about is to keep tabs on his heart when using it.

So we have another quirk associated with darkness and keeping emotions in check, with destructive consequences as a result for failing to do so.

Bringing us to today.

Izuku is being ganged upon on by the people he is sacrificing just about EVERYTHING to protect, and they are threatening to apprehend him, bringing themselves right in the crosshairs of AFO in his mind.

Bakugou, being the obnoxious shithead he is Bakugou, is taunting and belittling Deku, undermining all that he’s doing. And he’s getting the class ready to pounce.

It’s raining.

We don’t see Tokoyami’s reaction throughout all this, but I do imagine he carries resentment that it has come to this and that it needs to be done.

And Deku is no doubt feeling a lot of things. Exhaustion, sadness, anger, hurt, fear, among other things.

This is a nuke WAITING to go off.

My fear is if Dark Shadow gets a full forced strike of Black Whip, the danger factor is kicked up to 11.

I don’t think Dark Shadow will suddenly absorb Black Whip from Deku, because Deku did not consent on transmitting his power to Tokoyami/Dark Shadow. But I do believe that DS could get a boost of power from it because it is darkness. And since OFA is integrated into BW, some of that strength goes along with.

It took the combined strength of Todoroki and Bakugou to stop DS at the camp. Now, they have those two, plus Hagakure, Aoyama, Kaminari and Yaoyorozu along as well. But OFA gets stronger with each transmission, and that’s been transferred now nine times. And quirkless All Might became the number one hero by literally using nothing but raw physical strength alone. Given the other factors I’ve listed, I don’t think an OFA- charged DS will go down as simple as spamming lights.

Now, I don’t think Midoriya will simply spam Blackwhip constantly and hit everyone willy nilly. As we’ve seen, he is an analytical fighter, and has seen and studied everyone’s quirks in action, including Tokoyami. I believe he considered such an outcome and will have ten other methods on taking out Tokoyami. But a lot can happen in a fight, and it could be BW hits DS on accident.

Anyways, that’s one of the worst things I hope doesn’t happen.

[leviiattacks]

Two Faced | Chapter Two

↳ levi ackerman, the very person who was about to kindly behead you by a surprising turn of events manages to become your loving husband? you would be elated if this was true love, but it's all thanks to a mysterious magic spell that your life is spared. for now at least.

pairing :: duke!levi x duchess!reader genre :: royal au, angst, fluff, slice of life etc word count :: 2.6k → click here for the next part !

You're apprehensive the first few days. Peering over your shoulder when you walk through the halls of the Duke's estate. You often find yourself fiddling with the only real possession you have remaining from the entire ordeal - a silver locket given to you by your mother, it hasn't stood the test of time, it's littered in small scratches and it's clearly seen better days. Neither does it shine the way it used to but you need it to feel at ease.

Currently, sitting in the estate's library you attempt to focus on reading the book in front of you. It details the life of an orphaned child, the rest of the plot is a blur to you as this task is not done with the intent of enjoying the literature but with the purpose of distracting yourself.

You've been avoiding Duke Ackerman for days on end now. He's made the occasional visit to your quarters, always politely asks if he's permitted to speak to you - allowed to take even a second of your precious time. You decline every single request, your excuses range from "I'm feeling particularly ill today." to"I would like to rest early.", He never inquires after you've responded. You do however find he communicates in a variety of different ways ; Meals of the finest standard, A luxurious place to live, the maids also offer you the opportunity to venture out into the beautiful gardens but you know he's asked them to do so.

Quite frankly, you're still petrified and are unable to fathom what happened that fateful day, you had never been one to put much faith in God especially after all he had put you through, but maybe there was a God or a higher being or a somebody who helped you in your moment of despair.

Eyes darting from your page to the door of the library, you swear you see the door knob twist and you hastily double take. Nothing looks out of the ordinary so you allow yourself to shake it off. Your eyes droop shut as you knead your shoulders attempting to relieve some of the tension you feel. Recently, you find it to be an ordinary occurrence for your muscles to seize at the worst possible opportunities.

"May I speak to you?" A beaming voice enters the room from behind you but never had such a cheerful voice made you freeze in fright. It's him.

At his appearance you begin to think of all sorts of scenarios and outcomes but the specific thought you've been actively ignoring slyly slips into view. What if the spell weakens?

Fate is an ever changing entity, one minute it may be in your favour, the next... you'd rather not delve any deeper into that alternative.

Jumping to your feet you don't look in his direction trying to keep the contact you have with him minimal.

He audibly huffs and just as you're about to scurry away he speaks again. "Halt your movements."

Something about his voice beckons you to do so and you anxiously face him.

"Did I come off too bold?" The expression he makes is unlike any other you've seen from him before. His eyes twinkle and it looks as if he's holding his breathe expectantly. It's almost comical how different he looks and you can't stop your cheeks from flushing. He's quite adorable under this spell.

But then a flashback is presented to you. The anger in his eyes, the cold feeling of his sword, if he were any closer he would have been swiftly slicing your neck open. Y/N, you were seconds away from becoming a corpse you remind yourself fiercely.

"I'm not doing very well at courting you, Am I?" He frowns as he asks but he's not upset, perhaps disappointed.

Looking at the floor you hear him bombard you with even more questions, he's crowding around you now like a swarm of bees - somehow he manages the job of an entire hive on his own. No one has ever taken such an interest in you.

Your conscience tells you that you will regret this later on down the line, it tells you this will come back and bite you incredibly hard, you will regret being so ignorant and trusting yet you yield. Is it so wrong for you to consider feeling affection? When the Duke snaps out of this spell he will promptly execute you and you're aware of that fact, so what reason is there to cower away in fear?

For all your life you have never experienced the true feeling of love. You had mother's maternal love, which hadn't lasted very long at all. Never would you have any other opportunity to experience the romantic intimate kind involving a significant other. If you were to die you may as well play the role of his wife for as long as this spell wills it. Perhaps he'll receive his memories back so late he forgets or simply no longer cares. Part of you hopes he doesn't remember at all.

"Would you like to..." you pause already regretting what you're doing but before you can continue the Duke cuts you off.

"Have tea together? Explore the gardens together?"

What really sticks out to you most is how he casually emphasizes the word together. He really doesn't care what activity you engage in as long as it's with him. You feel your heart twist in your chest. This is dangerous.

He's eager, leaning forward with wide eyes. It feels odd having someone care about your input, even more odd seeing that person smile at you with the same spirit of an elated child. It's bittersweet knowing his true character.

"Let's have some tea."

A few months have passed since then. Surprisingly you're still alive and the spell shows no signs of wearing away any time soon.

After the raid at your palace he's been nothing but sweet towards you. At first many people were against him courting you and a handful of his advisors attempted to steer his sights away due to suspicions and speculation that you were a "sinful witch" who had manipulated or even seduced him.

The day he had heard those rumors he caused an uproar and had fired the royal advisor who spread them around. "Impertinent fools have the audacity to make such comments about my Duchess." You would usually add in you were not worth such respect considering you were not officially a Duchess but the fiery blaze in his eyes had stopped you.

"Hey Lev, lets go have some tea they've learnt their lesson." You shot the gossiping maids a sympathetic look.

Being under the spell does not make him more tolerable towards other people is what you learnt that day.

Multiple women all with visuals worlds more appealing than your own approach him, some even sent by his advisors to set you up. They test if his love is strong enough to withstand the attacks of others. Time and time again he proves everyone wrong and doesn't think for a second to give up on you.

You're glad for that because through these few months you've ascertained how much you love the Duke for who he is. Well, who he's acting as. You want to slam your head against a concrete wall repeatedly when you think about the level of affection and tenderness you hold towards the man but you can not lie and say you hate him.

The fact that before meeting him you lived a life lacking of love and affection does not help your case either. It only makes it harder.

But it's painfully obvious to you that this is all truly one sided. You aren't really in love with the Duke but you're in love with the magic holding him hostage.

You share these thoughts to yourself as you take a short sip from your tea cup. Sasha has left the room to fetch some pastries and sweets. She takes her job seriously as head maid (you never address her as such because really she's just a friend to you). It's a chilly day hence why you've covered yourself up in a shawl, it coincidentally matches the beige drapes.

Suddenly a boy who you recognize to be one of the young apprentices by the name of Eren bursts through the doors of your tea room. His hair is all over the place and he's panting as he tries to formulate a sentence.

"Duke." Puff. " Duke Ackerman" Puff. "Refuses to return to the Imperial Palace and is threatening the Emperor stating he won't return to his duties!"

You ignore it and try to keep to your own affairs because who are you to interfere in military business? It's looked down upon to involve yourself in such matters.

You send him off and in the mean time Sasha makes her way back.

A few minutes later as the both of you are munching on a particularly sweet macron the palace's butler bursts in the same way as Jaeger and tries to get a word in but Sasha manages to interject first.

"My lady, perhaps you should check in on the Duke." she suggests.

You try to speak but the Butler cuts in abruptly.

"Duchess. I'm afraid he hasn't ate a meal in five days. Please talk to him."

"Mike there is no need to call me a Duchess when I hold no such title...wait the Duke hasn't ate for five days???"

You find it unbelievable that Levi has forgotten to eat or possibly starved himself for something.

Making your way to his office you enter with a speech prepared about how eating is one of the blessings you've been given and how it should be appreciated but instead you're met face to face with a trail of rose petals that lead to the Duke.

You stare at him in confusion. He holds a bouquet of roses in his hands and they kiss his chest, He gives you a look of admiration that can only be described as the look that is reserved for your one true love. His eyes glimmer and they shine along with his glossy raven hair. You look him up and down in astonishment.

He's arranged all this for you.

"I'd do anything to have you be by my side for all of eternity. Will you honor me with the opportunity of taking your hand?"

Just looking at this entirely different version of the Duke, you feel relieved and in the moment you recklessly accept his proposal. You know it's stupid, you know it's ignorant, you know you should be denying him but you can't make yourself ignore the will of your heart.

"I hope to live a long life. One with you present." he whispers into the shell of your ear, it tingles.

After weeks of the Duke's courting you accept his marriage proposal and the both of you quietly wed two months later.

He's so kind and affectionate that you're plagued with nightmares where the spell wears off.

In your nightmares he continues what he left unfinished. Every time he's about to plunge his sword into the depths of your chest he wakes you up and caresses your face in between his large hands. He wraps his arms around you after some time. Once your breathing relaxes he asks what has made you cry and you can't do anything to explain. It only hurts more seeing his concerned expression. The way his eyes flick between your eyes and trembling lips, you want to tell him the truth, instead you state that you"had a nightmare, and don't wish to talk about it." You don't want him asking questions over it.

It's another Wednesday and you're pacing back and forth in front of his office door arguing with yourself about whether or not you should enter. Finally, you decide to make your entrance and peek inside. You hear him arguing with his advisors as normal.

"Instead of blithering like a idiot and making excuses why don't yo-" he's midway through his sentence when he sees you at the doorway.

Dropping the previous matter he rushes over towards you and scoops you up in his arms. Smiling up at you, you smile back sheepishly ignoring the stares of his staff.

"Honey, why did you leave me? Where did you go?" He whines into your neck and you try to push him away shyly but he won't budge.

Everyone around you grimaces at his usual mood swings as well as the heavy flirting that he's targeting at you.

"You haven't come to eat dinner with me for three nights. You're the workaholic who left me." You swiftly retort his point and you pout at the end of your sentence. He pouts back and you can see his cheeks are tinged a blushed pink.

"Then we must dine immediately, you should have informed me that I had made you feel so neglected, my darling!"

After making your way to the dining room you and Levi are conversing happily as per usual when you spot his highly agitated secretary Mikasa. It settles in that she's been standing there for a considerable amount of time, time flies when you and Levi speak. She's clearly waiting for him to report back to duty.

The first time you had met Mikasa she was highly suspicious of you and would keep an eye on your movements at all times (literally) , you thought she perhaps fancied the Duke but later learnt that she was related to him and that was probably why she was on edge at the appearance of a new individual. Besides all that she's sweet really, sometime she joins you and Sasha for tea and you happily converse. She isn't much of a talker, more of a listener which works out well considering how extroverted Sasha is and how you love to story tell. You've shared many fond memories with her.

That's why you place a hand on Levi's shoulder and interrupt him.

"Why don't you return to your work? It's about time I send you back now." You suggest but he rolls his eyes in annoyance.

"Why do you keep on trying to get rid of me? I want to stay for a little longer. After all you are my wife. You count as one of my duties. If not the most important duty of all!" He's about to break out into one of his embarrassing speeches and you want to save Mikasa from that.

"Mikasa really needs you to complete your other duties. Do it for me Lev." You try and butter him up with the mention of his nickname. As expected he perks up and stands up to leave, not before placing a soft kiss on your cheek.

"Ah Lev, I'll be taking a short trip out today. Is that alright with you?"

You don't specify that 'out' means the Sunday Market place, he'll ask question after question.

He holds onto your chin with his thumb and leans in for a chaste kiss.

"Of course my darling. Be careful."

He giddily waves at you as he leaves and you wave back with the same enthusiasm. You giggle at the sight of Mikasa practically gagging at the two of you and glaring daggers at Levi.

The door then shuts and you're left alone.

All that accompanies you is silence and you purse your lips together trying to keep it together. Recently as soon as he turns away from you all you can think about is how this love of his is a hoax.

He doesn't really love you.

That doesn't stop all the sweet words he's ever uttered from flooding your memory.

"You're mine and I'm yours."

"My beautiful love."

"I love you I mean it." It hurts. He doesn't mean it.

But you'll keep the charade up. You'll find a way to keep him this way forever. It's selfish but you can't be blamed, It keeps you safe and happy.

Love is nice but you would prefer to live.

[neworleansspecial]

Summary: An instagram post Marjan makes is interpreted as a coming out post. This was not her intention.

WC: 1.6k | AO3

Warnings: Internalized Homophobia

This is quite possibly the worst outcome Marjan can think of. She posted the roller derby photos because her feed has been quite dead since the whole “cancelling of firefox” thing that happened. It’s something non-controversial, and she loves to show off her brilliant team mates in the way that she assumes most people feel about their friends. She wants the world to see these talented, confident, beautiful women the way she sees them. Marjan spent a few minutes meticulously tagging each member of the team in the photos she posted, lining up each black bar with the correct face. She figures it’s a good appreciation of these women.

What happens instead of her friends being showered in compliments is speculation Marjan could have never, ever predicted. She knows that many of her fans are gay, particularly gay young women. Young lesbians. It’s a fact that she keeps in the back of her mind for no reason at all other than to just know it. This majority, however, make themselves known in the aftermath of the photos being posted. 

Marjan reads a comment that simply states, “ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!” followed by a bunch of heart emojis and wonders what it means. One of what? She scrolls through the thousands of comments on her post and tries to make sense of them when she realizes the error she’s made. 

The team photo on the first slide was when they all went to pride together, since most of the members of the roller derby team are LGBT+ and wanted to go as a group. Marjan went as an ally, but failed to clarify this point when she posted it. The thought smacks her in the face. 

People think this post was her coming out.

And it’s too late to take it back, but Marjan deletes the post the moment she connects the dots. Her first thought is for her family, who follow her on instagram. Her mother. Her siblings. They likely already saw. Marjan can just imagine the horror in her mother’s voice over the phone, asking Marjan if it’s true. One of her little sisters is still in high school, she could get bullied if anyone thinks that she might be related to a gay person. It’s going to be a disaster. 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!”

“Marjan?”

She looks up to see Mateo peeking into the bunk room. He looks concerned. 

“Cap sent me to get you for dinner. Are you okay?”

“It’s nothing,” she lies, quickly putting her phone into her pocket. “Paul cooked, right? So it should be pretty good.”

Mateo easily moves on from his first question, chatting about the salad he helped make to go with dinner, and Marjan is able to just nod along to his words without really paying attention or responding. She’s in so much trouble. The last time she checked, there’s already a handful of articles about her photo. People know. It’s only a matter of time before everyone she’s ever met to know about the alleged coming out. Just thinking about it has Marjan’s eyes stinging with tears. 

By the time she sits down in her seat at the table, she can feel all their eyes on her. Being calm and collected is kind of her thing, and she feels so unbearably seen right now, in ways she’s never wanted to be. They all wait for her to speak, but once they realize she’s not going to on her own, Paul reaches across the table to take one of her hands. 

“Marjan, what’s wrong? We’re all here for you.”

She glances around at them. They could dismiss her in disgust easily. But she knows TK is gay, and everyone seems okay with it. At the very least, she knows TK won’t let them say anything too bad about the situation. 

“I posted some roller derby photos, on instagram. Um, one of them was from pride.”

Mateo’s face lights up. “That was such a cool day! It was my first time going to pride, since I wasn’t, like, out before. I can see why you’d wanna post those photos.”

“People think it was a coming out post.” She glances around the table to see neutral faces. “They think I’m gay.”

At that, TK stabs his fork particularly hard into his dinner and shoots a look at her. “And what’s wrong with being gay, Marj?”

His words get Mateo’s attention, honing in on the hurt and the concept that Marjan could be something less than accepting. Mateo’s self-discovery of bisexuality is recent, recent enough that he’s still rather insecure in his open identity. She doesn’t want him to think she cares about this sort of thing, even if she kind of does. But only when it’s her. Other people can be gay, or bi, but she knows it’s not something that’s allowed to her. Her family would be devastated.

“Is there something wrong?” Mateo asks. 

Marjan rushes to say no as Judd lowers his head and folds his hands like he’s praying. 

“It’s not that, it’s just… I…”

“Are you?” Paul asks.

Everyone’s attention snaps to him, and then to Marjan. She can almost feel the blood drain from her face as they all turn with the same look on their face, the same question. It’s all a given what they’re asking. What they want to know. She can’t handle their rejection for this. 

“Marjan,” he says gently, “it’s okay if you’re LGBT. You know that us, of all people, are going to love and support and defend you no matter what.”

Marjan stands up from the table, her chair scooting back loudly. “I need some air.”

She all but runs to the stairs, hopping down each step to get to the doors on the first floor to the cool outside air. It’s a relief against her suddenly flushed cheeks. She knows she can’t be gay. It’s not allowed. She had a fiancé for most of her life. It was always a given that she’d marry a man, one of her family’s choosing, without much of her say in the matter. Of course she could veto someone, or say they weren’t right for her, but the fact is that her husband was always going to be chosen for her. There’s been no room, no time, for her to consider any other romantic pursuits, especially with a woman.

For the very first time, Marjan allows herself to think about that. About women, and the possibility of being in a romantic relationship with a woman. In her mind’s eye, the woman is generic. Dark hair, big eyes, soft skin. There’s no face, just the imagined feeling of curves under her hands, perhaps the softness of a breast pressed to her palm. Thinking about this for the very first time as a possibility overwhelms her with its suddenness. She feels especially guilty when the imagined woman begins to take the shape of one of her friends. This isn’t right. This is perverse, an intrusion, worse than peeping. 

She feels sick to her stomach as she sinks to sit against the wall. This isn’t okay. She should’ve never posted that picture, and then people wouldn’t be saying these things about her. If they never said those things, she wouldn’t be having the most upsetting realization of her life right now either. 

Marjan isn’t sure how long she’s sitting out on the asphalt before Paul comes out and joins her, taking a seat at her side. His warm shoulder meets hers in a silent comfort for nearly five full minutes before he speaks. 

“I was already an adult when I realized,” he says to her. “I didn’t ‘always know,’ at least not in my conscious mind. It wasn’t until I was already out in the world as a firefighter that I truly realized who I was, and that was really scary. I had a long road ahead of me, with a lot of self-discovery, and I had a lot of people to tell. I was terrified.”

“How did you know?” Marjan asks. “That you really are trans?”

Paul sighs. “I didn’t. I questioned it a lot when I was first beginning my transition. For some people, they just know, and they have for a long time, but I was both certain that I was a man and worried that I was doing it for attention. It was hard. I went to therapy for a long time, to understand myself and to help me do what was best for myself. I had a lot of internalized transphobia to work through. On top of that, I had thought I was a lesbian for a long time before I realized I wasn’t, so I kind of understand what you might be going through. Questioning your gender and your sexuality are really similar in a lot of ways, but incredibly different in others. Regardless of your journey, Marjan, whether you’re straight or not, it’s going to take a lot of reflection. All of us here at the 126 have your back. If you need to listen, or talk, or just be distracted, we’re all here for you. We love you, Marj. I love you. And if you need anything, I’m here.”

She leans into his side and he puts an arm around her for the closest approximation of a hug they can manage while sitting side-by-side on the ground. Marjan knows she has a long path ahead of her of understanding her sexuality, and not just in terms of orientation. What she wants in a relationship and how to have one are things she doesn’t really understand yet, and that’s something she’s going to have to confront to move forward in her life. She’s scared of what it means for her future. She’s scared of what her family will think. She’s scared of what the world will think. But as she sits beside Paul, it is clear that there are people who are going to support her no matter what. 

With that, she may be able to learn this about herself.