#when i say gut wrenching I MEAN IT like physically my gut wrenched i wanted to rip out my heart and stomp on it

[allfortzu]

I'm interested in minayeon and I have the copy of adore u, but every time I see the words minayeon and adore u in one sentence, the rest of them are talking about how traumatized they are, you included! I wanna read it but I'm scared BUT I WANNA READ ITTTT AKHHHH what to dooo 😩😩😩

YOU JAVE A COPY OF ADORE YOU?!,# GIRL SEND 😭😭😭

i barely remember the plot, but i can say it was gut wrenchingly sad for all minayeonators,, theres a reason why everyones traumatised 💔💔 id reread the whole thing in a heartbeat but maybe pretend the sad parts don't exist for my own sanity 🥹 it's definitely an experience tho, so if you do read it please come scream to me!!!! if anyone could understand needing to scream abt it, it'd be me 😭😭

[zchnlswrld]

(46) ATEEZ FIC RECS

🍓 fluff | 🌀 angst | 💥 nsfw | 🎧 personal favourite

if any links don’t work or the wrong writers have been tagged please let me know!

ATEEZ/MULTIPLE

Want You Back | @whimsicalwritingsandmore 🍓🌀

opposites attract w/ matz | @beenbaanbuun 🍓💥🎧

↳ are you ready to get so hooked on something you’ll read every story connected to it and simply sit there waiting for series updates?

Addams!ATEEZ | @fruithoughts 🍓💥

HONGJOONG

Less Than Three | @kbandtrash 🍓

Runaway | @lilacmingi 🍓🌀

To Make An Album | @bambikisss 🍓💥

Never Alone | @iwannasuckyourmonstercock 🌀

Hopefully | @idyllic-ghost 🍓

↳ my hongjoong roman empire and it’s just made up leave me alone

SEONGHWA

The Way to His Heart | @edenesth 🍓🌀🎧

↳ again not a series reader in the slightest but this one is so well done you never know what’s happening next and then you get grown through a loop in the best way possible

let’s not fall in love, again | @baekhvuns 🍓🌀💥🎧

↳ HOW THE AUTHOR CAME UP WITH THIS IS BEYOND ME BUT I REREAD THIS ALL THE TIME I LOVE IT I CANT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE IT JUST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ IT

no title | @mymoodwriting 🍓🌀💥

bodyguard | @baekhvuns 🍓🌀💥

↳ this became my personality for a solid month after its release

cat named mars | @hwaightme 🍓

checkmate | @atinystraynstay 🍓🌀

the lamb and the wolf | @seonghwaddict 🍓💥

YUNHO

Guerilla | @sorryimananti-romantic 🍓🌀💥

opposites attract | @tainsan 🍓🌀💥

↳ another one that became my personality for a solid month after release

what builds a home | @cosmicdumpling 🍓💥 (only a little!)

PILLAGED | @lilacmingi 🍓 (a little 🌀)

something to give each other | @sungbeam 🍓🎧

↳ read this at 5:34am and it changed my life i’m not kidding

Promise | @sorryimananti-romantic 🍓💥 (only a little!)

↳ did my life just change? yes! this authors fics always change my life but this was something else!

entombed | @ghstzzn 💥 (and kinda 🍓) 🎧

YEOSANG

no title | @ateezmakemeweep 🍓🌀

RETURN TO ME | @thewonandonly 🌀💥🎧

↳ this is the the best yeosang fic on this app like i can’t explain any of it like this is one i strongly suggest you read (this is a threat, read the goddamn fic) and that fucking ending i’m literally i can’t it takes everything in me to not spoil it every time i recommend it but i’m telling you you have to read this you know that feeling you get when your heart wrenches and you physically feel it? you get that the whole time with this

for the hope of it all | @starrysvn 🌀🎧

↳ not gonna lie thought about killing myself after reading this 😭😭😭 /j

SAN

The Art of Climbing the Corporate Ladder | @ennysbookstore 🍓🌀💥🎧

↳ another one i can’t explain you have to read this for yourself because you think you know and then no you fucking don’t and then you get really mad and then really sad and then you’re like oh no and then y/n saves it and then san says stuff JUST READ IT

Ceilings [PART 2] | @yoongiseesawmp3 🍓🌀💥

↳ FINALLY THIS GODDAMN TROPE DONE RIGHT LIKE GAG EM THANK YOU GUYS THIS IS SUCH A GOOD READ AND IT DOESNT MOVE FAST LIKE THE OTHER FICS THAT DO THIS TROPE PLEASE

seasons out of time | @nonclassyparty 🍓🌀💥🎧🎧🎧

↳ this is the most soul crushing, heart wrenching, bone shattering piece of media you will ever read like i can’t genuinely put into words how much this fic means to me on like a level like i can’t even describe it help it is one of those fics thag you have to read for yourself and you’ll understand because just when your hopes are up theyre down when they’re down they’re up again in some strange way part two is in the works so i’m preparing for my heart to get stamped on by the author and part 1 is like for me genuinely the absolute best fics on this app so I can’t wait

Reassuring Words and Mellow Touches | @hongjoongsart 🍓🌀

↳ you know when you like feel smth in your gut and you don’t know what, this is what this does to you I swear

a broken routine | @vampzity 🍓🍓🍓🍓🎧

MINGI

Goodbye Summer | @shocymer 🌀🌀🌀

↳ i did cry when i finished this

nightmare, daydream | @mingigoo 🍓💥

One New Message | @hwaightme 🌀

Home | @lovepookie 🍓🍓🍓

WOOYOUNG

Home for the Holidays | @highvern 🍓🌀💥

Say You Love Me Too | @crazyformfics 🍓

change of heart | @hotteoki 🍓

place in me | @starrysvn 🍓🌀🎧

↳ this is my wooyoung roman empire and it didn’t even happen irl

If Without You | @sorryimananti-romantic 🍓🌀

JONGHO

so lovely | @deathbyyeekies 🍓🍓🍓🍓 🎧🎧🎧

↳ i kid you not reading this changed my life like genuinely i’m a changed person now

killin me softly | @deathbyyeekies 🍓

glasses w/ jongho | @beenbaanbuun 🍓

zemblanity | @in-san-ity 🍓🌀💥🎧

↳ it’s so nice watching tropes finally being done right like you don’t even understand how badly i needed this

20:15pm | @xuchiya 🍓

the fear still lingers | @03jyh23 🌀🌀🌀🌀🎧🎧🎧

↳ TOOK EVERYTHING IN ME NOT TO THROW MYSELF OFF A BRIDGE AFTER READING THIS IF YOU’RE WANTING FUCKING INCREDIBLE ANGST READ THIS SHIT AND YOU’LL PHYSICALLY FEEL YOUR HEARTBREAK LIKE MINE DID

[cait-with-luv]

Little Leopard [6]

"If it weren't for seven men that fateful night you wouldn't be here now. They showed you good people did exist. That life can be great, that you can be loved and cared for. These seven men were the men you loved and cherished. These men were your mates. Your safety blanket. And to them. You were their Little Leopard."

Header Credit: Me

Pairing: OT7 X Hybrid!Reader

Genre: Hybrid! AU, Strangers to Lovers! AU, Rich!BTS, Fluff, Angst, eventual smut, Polyamorous!BTS

Warnings: Angst, discussions of weight, discussions of eating disorders, dissociation, mentions of past mental abuse, mentions of past physical abuse, mentions of sexual abuse, discussions of trauma, anxiety, depression, explicit language, self-doubt, fear of rejection

Word Count: 3.5K

A/N: I'm sorry if this is so scruffy I tried my best since I've just got back to full health so the next update will be better! ITALICS MEANS IT'S A FLASHBACK!

PREV | NEXT

The boys felt lost. It was like they were taking one step forward and one step back with you ever since your hospital appointment a few weeks ago. You had gone back to barely speaking. Only nodding and shaking your head. Murmuring your words. Barely coming out of your room. They were worried. Guilty. Guilty because they felt like they had pushed you too far. You were healing after so much trauma, pain and they reopened those healing wounds. They desperately wanted to help you. Get you back on track to recovery and finding happiness but they didn’t know how. They didn’t know where to start.

However this wasn’t the case. You had not shut yourself out because of the appointment. Because you were suffering from reliving trauma. No, it was because of them. You were not mad at them. You were not disappointed in them. You were purely nervous. Nervous because everytime you looked at them your heart raced. Everytime you tried to talk your words got caught in your throat. THEY made you nervous. Butterflies in your stomach. And it all started because of your realization. They were your mates. They were fated to you. They found you that night because they were meant to. 

It terrified you. You had never felt this ever. It was all so new to you. This feeling of adoration, euphoria, love. It was all so overwhelming and terrifying that you didn’t know how to comprehend it. You weren’t ready to accept that you had mates. You were so desperately trying to shut it out but it was proving to be difficult when your leopard is pawing at you consistently to nest with them again, scent them. Mate them. Sheer pain crawling in your body when they come home smelling like another Hybrid. You couldn’t accept it because you were terrified to be rejected. You weren’t good enough for them, not perfect enough. You came with too much baggage. The humiliation you’d feel if they rejected you. The gut-wrenching pain you’d feel. You couldn’t take anymore pain. 

You knew you couldn’t shut yourself away forever. That you had to conjure up the courage to talk to them, be around them but it was difficult when your every instinct is to nurture them, claim them. 

Your deep thoughts are cut off from a knock on the your bedroom door, you mumble a ‘come in’ and a hesitant Taehyung peers in and pouts seeing you curled up in a nest you had recently built for yourself, the only thing providing you comfort right now but seeing Taehyung makes you ball your fists up to fight the urge to pull him into it. You couldn’t indulge anymore, because now you crave it all the time since the first time you nested with him and Jungkook.

“Hey, Pretty girl, Seokjinnie has made some lunch, want to come eat with us? You didn’t have any breakfast.” He says softly, frowning as you shake your head and snuggle more into your nest.

“I-I’m not hungry. Maybe later?” You mutter quietly, avoiding eye contact. You could see the concern in his face but you just had no appetite, you couldn’t stomach anything right now.

“But Y/N, you haven’t eaten properly in a while…” He trails off, hoping that you’d cave and finally eat but you were stubborn. You couldn’t and wouldn’t. You didn’t have the energy to face them.

“I’m just not hungry right now Taehyungie. I’ll eat later. I promise.” You reassure, before closing your eyes and pretending to go to sleep. You couldn’t look at him otherwise you’d cave.

“Okay, one of us will check on you in a bit, please try to eat later. Please talk to us, we’re here for you.” Taehyung sighs before leaving and making his way downstairs, watching the six hopeful boys' faces fall when they see no sign of you.

“Nothing?” Jungkook pouts as Taehyung shakes his head. They just wanted to see you healing again, smiling and interacting with them. 

“Nothing. She won’t eat. She said she’s not hungry again, she wouldn’t look at me. What do we do?” Taehyung whines in frustration, sitting down next to Jimin who gives him a small smile.

“I’m getting worried, she’s starving herself, we can’t let her continue like this. She’s going to get sick, we need to do something, we can’t keep walking on eggshells around her, it’s not going to achieve anything.” Jimin huffs and shakes his head. They needed to make better efforts, because right now, he felt like they were all doing the bare minimum.

“We can’t force her to eat, we can’t force her to do anything. We’d just be doing what all the others were doing but we need to sit her down, remind her that she’s not alone, that she doesn’t need to bottle it all up.” Namjoon advises, they all hum in agreement except for Jungkook. He shakes his head, gaining their attention.

“I don’t think it’s the hospital appointment that’s doing this to her. I think…I think it’s the fact we’re her mates. I think she knows but is scared. Have you guys not noticed how anxious and nervous she gets around us recently? How much more she’s nesting and scenting blankets?” He begins, looking around watching as they all come to a realization.

“That does make sense but how do you know she knows?” Seokjin replies with a frown.

“Well…”

—

“Is she oka-Oh shit.”

Hoseok stares in shock at the sight in front of him. Two of his boyfriends, nesting with you, your small figure, snuggled up between them, the peaceful look of sleep and safety on your face. He knew what this meant. He was familiar with what nesting meant to a hybrid, having been told by his colleagues with mates. Things had just got more complicated.

“Shh don’t wake her. She’s dissociated, she’s distraught, we know what this means, we made the nest for her to help but she invited us in. We couldn’t say no.” Jungkook whispers, looking down to make sure you hadn’t been disturbed. In all honesty, he wasn’t opposed to being your mate. One of seven mates.

“We need to talk. Now.” Hoseok says quietly, shuffling in his spot. Everything was coming together now. Why they felt so much care for you. The need to protect you and spoil you. They all had assumed it was because of your circumstances but how wrong they were.

They may be human but they felt it too. The pull towards you. The attraction. 

“Tae, you go, I’ll stay with her, don’t wanna leave her by herself in case she wakes up.” Jungkook sighs, stroking your hair, a small smile falling onto his lips as you subconsciously lean into his touch, a loud rumble of a happy purr leaving your mouth.

Taehyung hesitates before nodding and placing a chaste kiss to your temple and then a quick peck to Jungkook’s head before carefully leaving the nest, his chest filled with anxiety and guilt from doing so.

“Mate…n-no…back…” You whimper in your sleep, anxiously moving about, already feeling Taehyung’s disappearance, your fists clenching Jungkook’s shirt tighter and tighter, fearful to lose him too.

“Shh, it’s okay, I’m here, I’ve got you…your mate is right here, Baby.” He comforts, keeping you tight in his hold, nosing at the crown of your head to relax you. He wouldn’t want anyone else to be a mate too. He will make sure to be the perfect one for you and he knew the others would too. You were the missing piece they were missing. You fit in just like a jigsaw piece.

“We’re her mates.” Taehyung blurts out suddenly once they had all sat down, their eyes widening in shock. Out of all the things they thought they were going to be told, this wasn’t at all what they were expecting.

“W-What? How do you know?” Jimin breathes out in surprise, his heart racing from nerves.

“She nested with me and Kookie. She’s still nesting with him now, she scented him too. She looked pretty upset too when she realized we all weren’t there. She wanted us all in the nest.” Taehyung explained, running a hand through his hair.

“Come to think of it, she looked like she was going to tear Dr. Yoon’s head off when she hugged us. It probably didn’t help that she's a lion hybrid too but it makes sense. It’s kinda like a territorial thing.” Yoongi murmurs leaning back into the couch, arms crossed as he thought deeply.

“Well what do we do? We can’t pretend that we don’t know about it. It’ll just be makingher suffer. I don’t know about you guys but I care a lot about her. I really do think I’d be lost without her.” Hoseok says confidently, the boys humming in acknowledgement.

“She does feel like what we’ve been missing this whole time and I know there’s plenty of room for her in this relationship.” Seokjin agrees with Hoseok a smile toying at his lips, he could picture all the loving memories you could create. Waking up together with them in the mornings, dates, cooking together, intimate moments, all the laughs, smiles, compliments. He wanted that with you. They all did. You were the missing brick in the home they had built. The cement that held it together. They just hadn’t realized it until now.

“I don’t think we should tell her we know…she’ll come to us when she’s ready to tell us no matter how painstakingly slow it may be we got to be patient. We don’t want to scare her off. Let her initiate it. Let her be in control of this. She’s never gotten that choice so we have to give that to her. Maybe little courting gifts here and there for her, not to hint that we know but hint to her that we care for her and if she wants to want to build a relationship with her.” Namjoon says with authority in his voice. He didn’t want to screw up any chance they had with you. It wasn’t like how they started dating. You’re a hybrid and courting is a big thing for mates. They couldn’t rush this. It had to be at a steady pace, it had to be perfect.

“But what if she doesn’t come to us about it Joonie? She’s never had this much control in her life, she won’t know how to do this. I don’t want to control her at all but what if we just give her a nudge into the right direction?” Jimin whines. He knew Namjoon was right but his patience was the worst out of them all, he knew he’d get too antsy.

“We may have to but right now we wait and see baby. Only time will tell.”

—

It had gone past midnight when you left your room, unfortunately your anxiety riddled mind had kept you awake, the thoughts of losing the boys, not being good enough for them plagued you. But also your fears of going back to your previous owner. Having to endure the mental and physical abuse day in and day out. The pure torment. You couldn’t go back to it. Especially not after seeing what life truly can be like. You just couldn’t do it.

You had to speak to them, go back to your healing, you couldn’t lose them, push them away. 

You hesitantly tip-toe towards a room. Jungkook’s room. Despite being in a seven person relationship, sometimes they liked to have their own space or take turns sharing the master bedroom bed.

You stand in front of his room, contemplating whether or not if you should knock. You didn’t want to disturb him, you were about to turn around and go back to your room but if it was Jungkook had a 6th sense and knew you were there, his door suddenly opening, a yawning Jungkook stood there, a look of surprise when he realized it was you at the door not one of the boys like he thought it to have been.

“Y/N? Hey, Sweet girl, are you okay? Is something the matter?”He asks softly, almost cooing at your sweater paws and doe eyes staring at him nervously. You shuffle in your spot, toying with your hands as you murmur shyly,

“I-I can’t sleep…didn’t know what to do. D-Did I disturb you? I-I’m sorry I’ll go.”

Jungkook quickly shakes his head and holds his hand out for you to take, he didn’t want to startle you and grab your hand, he reminds himself of what Namjoon had said. ‘Let her be in control’.

You slowly place your hand in his and you almost purr from glee from the feeling, you hadn’t touched them or let them touch you since you nested with them.

“You have nothing to be sorry for baby, do you wanna come in? Maybe trying sleeping in here so you aren’t by yourself? I can sleep on the floor if that will make you more comfortable?” He asks, slowly guiding you into his room, his breath hitching as you whisper,

“A-Actually…c-could you nest with me instead? I-I think that’ll help…”

He could have screamed with joy at your proposition. You were starting to take initiation, no matter how small it may be, it was a start and it excited him. 

“Of course, do you need anything to build your nest? Help yourself to whatever you want baby.” He smiles standing aside to let you do what you needed to do. And so you began, grabbing any item that smelt of the boys, shirts, blankets, hoodies, you grabbed them all and carefully built your nest. You wanted it to be perfected, it needed to be. The urge inside you wanting to impress your mate but you had no idea that no matter what you did, Jungkook would always be impressed.

“In.” Was all you said once you had finished, patting the place beside you in the middle of the nest. A teasing smile appears on Jungkook’s face, playfully crossing his arms and pretending to think.

“In? You want me to get in? I don’t know…” He teases making you huff and pout at him, glaring.

“Kookie…” You whine in frustration making him laugh and shaking his head. You were just to cute to not tease.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming in now.” He coos, and carefully lays in your nest, allowing you to move him to where you wanted, a content smile on his face as you curl up into the side of him,  purring and chuffing. You really were just a cat.

“Thank you Jungkook, for this…for all of you putting up with me.” You say quietly, closing your eyes in attempt to try and fall asleep. But it still felt like something was missing, like you need something more to fall asleep.

“We’re putting up with nothing Little one, we’re here because we want to be, because care for you and want to help you in anyway we can alright?” He yawns, playing with your hair and pouting noticing your fidgeting.

“Still can’t get comfortable to sleep Sweet girl? Is something playing on your mind?” He asks softly, tilting his head as you nod and sit up to look at him.

“Feels like something is missing…” You practically cry out.

Jungkook thinks before a thought pops into his head, sitting up with you and hesitantly asking,

“Do you reckon it’s the rest of the boys that’s missing baby? Is that what it is?” 

You nod slowly as you realize that yes, it was what was missing, what you needed. You need all seven of them in your nest, all your mates but it felt too selfish to do. You had already disturbed Jungkook, you couldn’t wake the rest.

“B-But I don’t wanna wake them. That’d be unfair.” You pout before going to lay back down.

“It’s okay, don’t worry we’ll find another way to help make you sleep…why don’t we read? We’ll go sit downstairs and I’ll start teaching you, how does that sound?” He proposes and a smile appears on your face as you nod. You liked the sound of that.

—

Namjoon sighs as he sits down on the couch, the house is filled with silence as everyone sleeps, the only sound is the clock ticking away. It was late. Just past one in the morning and Namjoon couldn't sleep. Tossing and turning all night, his stress taking a toll on him. 

Whilst Hoseok was embarking on his investigation of your abusers, Namjoon had started his own. He was determined to find who this inside person was, doing the cover-up on your documentation and who knows how many more Hybrids and was proving to be challenging. So far he couldn't find a single thing. Not a single speck of dirt on any of his employees, he was close to hitting a dead end but he refused to give up, hoping that eventually, he'll find something. 

Anything, even if it was the tiniest bit of evidence. He couldn't let these Hybrids down. He couldn't let you down. He prided himself in protecting and providing for Hybrids in need and built his whole career on it. His whole business. But right now he felt like he was failing. He was angry, ashamed, and guilty that he allowed someone so dirty to work for him, allowed them to slip through the security checks he so thoroughly does but clearly not thorough enough. 

Namjoon stares at the blank screen of the television, his head quickly turning as he hears a creak of the floor boards before relaxing when he sees the two pairs of doe eyes he's grown to adore so much staring back at his exhausted figure. 

"Baby. Princess. What are you two doing up?" He asks quietly, tilting his head as he sees an alphabetical book tight in your grasp, his heart skipping a beat at the pouts on both of your faces. He swore your pout could challenge his youngest boyfriends. 

"We could ask you the same Joonie. Little one here, couldn't sleep so she decided to nest with me in hopes it'd help but it didn't so we were going to sit down here so I could teach her how to read." Jungkook explains giving Namjoon a concerned smile. 

"I couldn't sleep either Princess, it's okay it happens to us all sometimes. Come here, why don't both of us teach you hm?" Namjoon says tiredly, letting out a yawn and stretching. 

"B-But you're tired. I don't want to be a burden to you. Y-You've been working a lot Namjoonie." You whisper shyly, shuffling in your place. Out of all the boys, Namjoon intimidated you the most. You weren't scared of him. You could never be with how caring he is but he just screamed alpha of the house to you with how much authority he held.

Namjoon all but smiles softly at you, shaking his head as he pats the spot on the couch beside him, inviting you both to join him as he says reassuringly, 

"Nonsense. You could never be a burden Babygirl, now let's read this book shall we?"

You nod and both you and Jungkook sit down, you sandwiched in between them both as Namjoon takes the book and opens it, beginning to teach you each letter, even going as far as getting a notebook out so you could even practice writing.

“Is everything making sense so far Princess? Tell us if you need to go over something again okay?” Namjoon asks after a little while, smiling when he looks over to you when he gets no reply and finds that you had finally fallen asleep, pen almost slipping of your hand.

“She’s so cute.” Jungkook chuckles, taking the pen out of your hand and looking over to Namjoon as he bookmarks the book and closes it.

“She is. How come she couldn’t sleep?” Namjoon asks leaning back into the couch and carefully laying your head down on his lap as Jungkook places your feet on his. 

“I think she’s starting to accept or come to terms that we’re her mates, she couldn’t sleep because all of us weren’t in the nest, she was so frustrated but she didn’t want to wake any of you up.” Jungkook smiles, rubbing up and down your calf. Namjoon chuckles and looks down at you, adoringly before he gets an idea.

“I have an idea, Jungkook wake the boys up, try and make a nest and a nest big enough for us all in the master bedroom, we’re going to do what she wanted, have us all in a nest, I think it’ll be a nice surprise for her in the morning when she wakes up.” 

And so Jungkook did. He woke each of them up, explaining to them what was happening, bright smiles on all their faces as they worked together to build the nest, hearts fluttering as Namjoon carries you into the room and places you in the middle of them all, love filling the room as you all filled the nest, snuggled up together, content smiles on your faces as you all slept. Even Namjoon managed to fall asleep at last. Peaceful and happy. 

Unaware of what was coming.

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@sophiaj650 @bbgniecyy @littlebaby-bunbun @driftapart @kalala22 @pb-n-juju @sugarrush-blush @cryingpages @avadakadabra93 @inwonderlandac @junisage @kiylasstuff

SERIES TAGLIST (CLOSED)

@sunoosult @kimsaerom @tinyoonsblog @mintyoonjisworld @malewife-supremacy @army4eve3r @mageprincess7 @dreamamubarak @ot7nem @haleypearce @yoongiigolden @carolinexkpop @koobratzy @devilsadvcte @colourlyhobbit @toughbook @ah2002 @beeeee06 @kurowvie @jaiuneamesolitaiire @alloftheficsyoulovedbefore @bangtanxberm @murkydoesnotloveyou @cheychey-4788 @atinygracie @echo-ethe @yo-alli @blancflms @jamlessstars @theblueslytherin @rosquilleta @slash4slashers @chieftoadturkeynickel @rainbow-bunny-bts @thedarkwinterrose @anjoellamorte @welcometomyworld13 @aviewerofthecosmos

[bkgml]

I love your works so much, i literally just found u like minutes ago 😭 may i ask for the most toe curling gut wrenching hair ripping argument angst with katsuki and a happy ending?? 😢😢😢💕

hi!! thank you so much, i’m so happy you like my work! i’m so excited for my first ask ahhhh!

friends with benefits with katsuki! angst to fluff

this arrangement started one drunken night. katsuki knew he wanted you, but saying so would make him feel weak and vulnerable. in his mind there was only one thing he could resort to, pretending to use you for sex.

for weeks the two of you would meet up on lonely nights and take your frustrations out on one another.

though as weeks turned to months katsuki would stay with you longer and longer before leaving for the night, laying with your limbs entwined and him dragging his fingers up and down the curve of your spine.

one night when he was feeling particularly domestic he declared he loved you as you reached your highs together. you’d never been so happy. as you settled you expected him to ask you to make your relationship official and stay the night with you. until he got up and started getting redressed.

“…do you want to stay the night?” you asked shyly.

he glared at you. as if your mere existence was a nuisance to him.

“why the fuck would i stay the night?”

you felt as if you’d been punched in the chest.

“when have i ever stayed the night?” he asked, voice rising in volume.

“well never… b-but i thought-“

“you thought what?! that id eventually fall for your ass?!” he yelled, getting closer to your face.

“no i didn’t think you would but you said that you… loved me.” you whisper.

“speak up!”

“you said you loved me!” you yelled, fighting back tears, suddenly feeling very small and venerable because of your naked form.

he stands tall in your room, fists clenching and unclenching. as you try to cover yourself with the sheets of your bed.

he rips the sheets off of you and you sob.

“katsuki! what are you-“

“get dressed! i cant argue with you when you’re this fucking pathetic!” he yells before stomping off into the living room.

you cry and put your clothes back on with shaky hands.

your hand hesitates on the knob before stepping out into your living room.

katsuki looks at you, his rough mask slipping for just a second and his face turning into a more empathetic expression, before turning his face away from you and frowning again.

you gasp through sobs, your once strong feelings of safety around him developing into ones of fear. you knew he wouldn’t harm you, at least not physically. he always said that men who hit their girlfriends or wives were cowards.

“katsuki-“

“let me talk first.” he said.

“i’m sorry for scaring you… but this needs to end. we shouldn’t be doing this.”

“but katsuki-“

“i need to go.” he says, heading to the door.

“no katsuki no please.” you run and wrap your arms around him, your chest pressed to his back.

“we can keep our arrangement the same just don’t go, katsuki.”

“it’s bakugou.” he says and you whimper.

“pleasepleasepleaseplease. i love you.”

he stills.

“you what?” he whispers.

“i love you so much, katsuki, please don’t go, baby.”

“i love you too.”

now it’s your turn to still.

“you do? then why are you leaving me?” you say and he turns in your unfaltering grip.

he threads his fingers through your hair and pressed a kiss to your head.

“i was being a fucking coward, didn’t think you’d want me, sweet girl.”

“i asked you to stay the night, what did you think i was doing, bakugou?”

“don’t call me that, sweets, i said i’m sorry.”

you let go of him.

“so does that mean you’ll stay the night?” you say quietly, scared of his reaction.

kissing you sweetly and lifting you off the ground he takes you into the bathroom to shower together and give you the best aftercare you’ve ever had before going back to your bedroom, putting on his boxers and you into his shirt and a pair of panties.

“im never going to yell at you like that ever again, i love you, okay?” he looks at you, resting on his chest.

well, sleeping on his chest.

he smiles and holds you close to him.

“i’m so sorry, sweet girl, i’m going to spend the rest of my life making this up to you.”

i made him so MEAN. kinda scared myself there for a second, if he was real i don’t know how he could ever come back from that because personally i would not forgive him. i hope this is what you were looking for though! i would hate to disappoint.

[eetherealgoddess]

ꨄMASTERLISTꨄ

꧁ I specifically write Tokyo Revengers fandom stories on my tumblr, ao3, and wattpad. I write non fandom content on my wattpad under eetherealgoddess and now on tumblr under this account only! Report if you see any of my works posted on any other platform or under anyone else that isn’t me. ꧂

꧁ In my head, Y/n is a 18+ black cis female or male (depending on the story). I try to write it to where you can insert yourself so it doesn’t really matter if you’re not (besides 18+. minors aren’t allowed) though I do say this for representation purposes bc a lot of writers make stories that are ‘y/n’ but she/he is literally described in a specific way that I think makes it hard for not only poc but plus sized, bald, etc people to be included. They might as well be an oc at that point. ꧂

꧁ The only reason I don’t write y/n as anything but cis gendered female or male is bc I don’t have enough info to feel comfortable in writing for non binary or gender neutral. ꧂

꧁ Obviously I understand the concept of ‘playing a character’ as y/n so some things are fine being set if it doesn’t match with the reader, but things like the physical appearance is lowkey annoying. ꧂

READ MY NOTICES THOROUGHLY ON EACH STORY OR ELSE YOU WILL BE IN FOR A SURPRISE!!

ꨄRULES FOR REQUESTSꨄ

Considering I like to write my stories a specific way, I wasn’t going to allow requests. I’ve changed my mind so here’s how we’re gonna do things…

✩I only write yandere stories. That means by default your requests will be written yandere style ❦

✩I don’t write fluff, cute stories. I write horror, dark, suspenseful, and gut wrenching content ❦

✩I don’t write ‘innocent’ ‘little one’ baby readers or whatever purity shit i’ve seen on here. no offense ❦

✩If smut is included, it will mostly consist of noncon/dubcon so if you request smut that is how it will be if you don’t specify what you want ❦

✩If I simply don’t want to write your request then I won’t ❦

✩I only write for Tokyo Revengers, my favorites being Sano Manjiro, Hanemiya Kazutora, Sanzu Haruchiyo, Haitani Ran, and Haitani Rin❦

✩I mostly like writing all of them x reader but if you want a specific focus, or different TR characters then i will do that❦

✩If you request something and it’s already a thoroughly written out story then you will be ignored cuz you might as well write it yourself at that point ❦

✩If you don’t hear back from me for a min, do NOT spam bc I’m either in the middle of writing your request, focusing on another and I’ll get back to you later, or I’m just ignoring it. Spamming will do nothing but make me continue to ignore it ❦

✩I’m only comfortable writing for cis female or male reader. I don’t have enough info on gender neutral or non binary therefore I can’t write from that perspective ❦

✩Specify exactly what you want or else it might be written in a way you didn’t expect ❦

CHECK BACK HERE REGULARLY WHEN YOU WANT TO SUBMIT A REQUEST BECAUSE I MIGHT CHANGE OR ADD SOME RULES!!

[genericpuff]

I reread episode 24 of LO after having dropped off between seasons 1 and 2 and it genuinely brought me to tears. I feel like there’s no way the theory about Rachel not intending this to be a depiction of SA can be true. The way it’s written feels so powerful and intentional, and I honestly think that makes her dropping the plotline that much worse.

I mean, maybe I’m projecting because of how similar the scenario was to my own experiences, but I just don’t feel convinced that she didn’t fully intend to write this as SA.

The shots of Persephone trying to physically push him away, of her standing shell shocked in the shower, after the fact, her internal dialogue about wanting it to stop but feeling like she can’t take back the “okay” she gave. It’s gut wrenching. And Apollo commenting on her hair and saying she should leave it long is such a brilliant piece of writing that hits like a punch in the gut for us readers who know why it grows.

And honestly, I think that chapter being so well written is what hurts the most. Because it feels like myself and other survivors were lured in by the prospect of seeing our stories told, and getting catharsis through Persephone even if we would never have it. The conversation she has later with Eros, where he states plainly that what happened was rape, not dancing around the word, validating what Persephone and so many real readers have gone through… It’s so, so painful to read that back and know that this plotline was dropped. That we were led to believe we would be seen only to be completely swept under the rug with no resolution to that story.

And I know people criticize that it’s immediately followed by a phone call with Hades, but honestly? After rereading that too? I loved most of the phone call. They had real chemistry, and you could still feel the weight of what just happened in how Persephone carried herself, but as they talked and she had something to distract herself, the burden got a bit lighter, at least for the moment. It felt resonant. Emotionally intelligent.

It’s like you said. Lore Olympus wouldn’t be so easy to hate if it hadn’t been so easy to love. I think it could have been good despite its flaws and problematic elements, because no media is 100% pure— but somewhere along the way, Rachel stopped caring. And THAT is what ruined it.

No but this is so valid, everything you just described was pretty much why I loved the SA plotline in the first place.

I think the scene itself is beautifully written, but it's odd how it becomes more about Persephone simply wanting an "easy way out" of TGOEM, not just in the 'decision' to have sex (i.e. she was coerced and assaulted) but later when she tries to get out of TGOEM, like... is it because she wants to actually date guys, or is it because she doesn't feel like she "deserves" to be in TGOEM anymore due to the assault? The story tries in some places to explore this but never commits to it fully so it's really hard to know what point it's trying to make at times when you actually peel back the layers.

Really the biggest reasons I 'suspect' Rachel of not intending to write a genuine SA plot from the very beginning is because of how... 'back of mind' it is. It only seems to be brought up whenever Rachel can be bothered to remember, but then it's completely juxtaposed against scenes where it should affect her (or reasonably would) and it doesn't. Case in point, a few episodes after she tells Eros what happened and he confirms it was rape, he tries to convince her to go into Hades' office dressed in a trenchcoat and nothing else underneath and it's like bro... this girl just told you what she went through, why are you suggesting she try to seduce her boss who she doesn't even really know yet LOL

As a result , it really does just make it feel like the SA scene is just there to make Apollo an easy villain, and Hades an easy hero, with the only definitions being "well, Hades didn't assault her, so he's definitely the better choice!" (as if Apollo was ever a 'choice' to begin with, Persephone didn't like him from day 1 so there was basically no chance of there being a love triangle setup except for the audience members who quickly latched onto that "I guess he's cute if you squint a little" line). And with the way episodes are chopped up, separating points of the narrative from each other, it feels like whenever stuff does happen (esp surrounding the SA plot) it's because Rachel's finally bought herself enough time to come up with something, like the therapy episode, Eros confirming it was assault, Persephone stealing the lyre with the intent of hiding it from Apollo (only to then willingly show it to him alone in her bedroom with him a handful of episodes later), etc.

If she did intend to write an SA scene from the beginning, it doesn't feel like she thought the plotline through fully to make it actually feel genuine (and this goes for a lot of the subplots in LO, they always seem to start off as these base "get your attention" ideas but with no actual follow through). And with Apollo now being written as this "huehue you fell right into my trap!" villain (and very poorly I might add) it just feels like the SA is now taking a backseat to, "Actually, Apollo is the bad guy because he wants to overthrow his dad or some shit. Forget the SA happened, I don't wanna write about it anymore."

All those points aside, I agree with you fully, if Rachel cared about what she was trying to write back when the SA was first shown, then that level of care definitely doesn't seem to be there anymore and it's such a shame to see. It just feels like it's being used for artificial drama and nothing more and that's so frustrating and disappointing for many of the SA victims who are critical of this story (including myself) to see when that plotline originally felt like comforting visibility.

[webslingingslasher]

I'm craving angst right now. like I want my heart to hurt. probably sounding insane right now lmao. brb I'm gonna read your fics to feel the hurt. hope you're doing well <3

does this work? i almost teared up reading this, my brother is going through a really tough break up so this hits different (taylors version.)

You know what part of a break up they never talk about? 

They prepare you for the heartache, and it goes beyond what anyone could try to prepare you for. It’s a pain you’ve never felt before, it was weird experiencing such intense emotional pain it caused physical pain. Everything hurt, your knees were wobbly but your feet felt like lead. Your head was dizzy and painful, your chest was tight and burning, your stomach was in knots. 

It was the worst six weeks of your life. You’d never wish it on anyone, not even your worst enemy, no human should ever experience something that agonizing, ever. 

But the real kicker, the real true gut wrenching, awful, excruciating thing about a break up? 

Is watching them move on. 

Nothing could have prepared you for the gut punch you felt when you saw Peter holding hands with another girl, the air left your lungs entirely. You clawed at your throat gasping for air, you felt like you were about to pass out. 

Because it hit, reality hit. 

Peter wasn’t yours. 

He wasn’t yours anymore and you can’t pretend he would come back, he may have broken up with you but there was always that silent prayer that he’d come back, begging for a second chance, pleading that he didn’t know what he was doing, he didn’t mean it. 

That would never happen, he has someone else now. 

Someone who’s going to touch him like you did, someone who’s going to feel like arms tracing down your body like he did, someones who’s going to laugh at him like you did, someone who’s going to hold his hand and kiss his face and give him hugs and play with his hair and wear his clothes and go on dates and feel his skin. 

Someone’s who's going to love him like you do. 

It wasn’t right, you felt betrayed, how could he do this? 

Doesn’t he know he’s not supposed to move on until both people fall out of love? 

Doesn’t he know you’re never going to fall out of love? 

You feel like you’re about to have a panic attack, how did he do it? How did he just leave it all behind? How can he act like it didn’t affect him too, like the meteor strike didn’t hit? 

You need to go home, you need to go home and crawl into bed and not leave until you can mentally prepare yourself enough to see him, see him with another girl. 

See him happy. 

Didn’t he know you were supposed to be the one that made him happy? 

He was the one that made you happy, you haven’t smiled in months. 

Peter left and took your joy with him, he’s given it to someone else now. 

You feel your legs move but you’re not in control, flight is taking control and you’re backpedaling out of the school doors, you take yourself all the way home and curl under the blankets, nothing feels right or normal or fine. 

And no matter how hard you try, you can’t stop watching them hold hands, can’t stop seeing Peter’s thumb swipe across the back of her hand like he did yours, six weeks ago. Even the tears seeping out couldn’t blur the vision. 

You wanted to text him. 

You’d imagine what you’d say. 

How did you move on so quickly? 

Do you ever miss us? 

Why did it happen like that? 

What happened to us? 

Did the love affair maim you too? 

I haven’t slept since that Tuesday you ended it. 

No, they wouldn’t bring closure, and you needed that, didn’t you? 

You pick up your phone, his contact still has a heart by it.

 The day you erase it is the day you die.

You give in, maybe if he knows how much you’re willing to change it’ll work. 

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy anymore, but I tried.’ 

‘I know you did.’ 

You didn’t need to say anything else, he already did. 

It wasn’t enough. 

[haeryna]

OH MY GOD BAEEEE

i literally love your satosugu fic so much IM SCREAMING LIKE UGHH ITS SO GOOD AJDJWJS

like im not over exaggerating it hurts so good like i swear you know how to hit us hard 😭

i love your writing style and the way that we can feel the characters emotions (or maybe thats just me being sensitive..? IM JOKING BAE) like i can imagine how hurt reader is by satosugu leaving her and how mad satosugu are at themselves for leaving her too LIKE UGHHHH

and readers thoughts are completely valid because satosugu left without explanation, basically deserting her and then suddenly they come back?? like i’d be so hurt and mad that they’re back BUT ALSOO when she got called princess? i feel like part of her just wanted to cave especially when she was being held like that but then the other part of her was fighting, reminding herself how badly she was hurt LIKE OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO GOOD AT THIS I LOVE YOUR WRITING AAAA

and for satosugu their reason for leaving and not contacting was also completely valid !! i love that we get to see how much they miss reader and how upset they were that they left but also their reason for leaving? literally GUT WRENCHING. Yes they love reader as much as they love each other but they had to get out of there for their own safety and it just hurts so good 😭 AND THE WAY THAT THEY STILL LOVE HER TOO IT HURTS SO GOOD LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT WRITING IT MAKES ME SOB— okay but really the way that they never stopped loving her shows how much they truly loved her in the first place because even though reader thinks she means nothing to them she was the only person that they could ever love the way they love each other, oh my god and when they find out she never left and how she’s been alone for the past 5 years i can’t even imagine the guilt and hurt they felt. i can’t even when Suguru finds her letters like the pain he must’ve felt? The way he slowly saw through the letters as the girl they left behind changed, BUT THE WAY THAT THEY WILL NEVER LOVE HER ANY LESS. Also when Satoru notices how reader has changed physically like i just KNOW he wanted to burst into tears, seeing the people you love so frail and vulnerable is a pain that you can never forget so imagining how Satoru felt coming back after years only to find her looking like that must’ve been so painful for him. DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE PART WHERE HE SAYS HOW HE FORGOT WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO BE WITH HER LIKE OH MY GOD STOP IT RIGHT NOW. Like even though reader doesn’t even want to be in the same room as him he can’t help but feel alive because she’s just always had that affect on him like oh my god i literally want to bawl. Okay but also Suguru writing all of his songs for her 😭 I can’t help but wonder if he still has the guitar she thrifted for him? Also the part about Satoru’s makeup artist? “She’ll never do it like you” IM ACTUALLY SOBBING.

I love the way you write so much, it’s so real and has so much emotion. As a theater kid this entire fic is so good for character analysis like I LOVE analyzing characters and the way you write them just makes it even more fun ! I love the way that each character is actually complex and how their emotions feel real LIEK OH YMGNDODQJDHJWNS

(omg i didn’t realize how like jumbled up this all is im so sorry 😭)

I can’t wait for more to be revealed about their relationship! take your time writing the next chapter 💗

ANON PLEASE I WANT TO PUT YOU IN A LITTLE JAR WITH A BOW AND KEEP YOU SAFE YOU'RE SO SWEET AND KIND AND I LOVE YOU !! let's get married. rn. but PLEASE i was sitting here squealing and kicking my feet and looking at this ask every five minutes...i'm so glad you love it :') it makes me feel so happy that you feel like i've written them to a depth that you feel like you can analyze them!!

just for you bae, some little snippets that may or may not get woven into the main story: (suggestive but not explicit!!)

suguru keeps the old guitar you thrifted him. he actually bought a special case for it, so that even with all the damage, it'll still remain strong. there's a metaphor in that, he thinks, in the way that he'll only bring it out when he's writing a song that's meant for you. they're all meant for you, so he finds himself bringing it out constantly. he refuses to try the demos that the studio sends over, of metal and rock, because it feels cheap and artificial.

satoru keeps you and his lockscreen. it's a photo of you and suguru standing together, backs towards the camera. suguru is mid-laugh, and your eyes are shining. sukuna used to give him shit for it, until choso stepped in, recognizing the wistful love in satoru's eyes every time he'd see it.

the first time they were intimate together in their shitty apartment somewhere in seoul, suguru calls out your name. satoru says nothing of it. in turn, suguru pretends not to notice when satoru calls for you in his sleep.

kenji is dissatisfied. in a small town like yours, classmates have paired up left and right. you were meant for him, he believed. but now that satoru and suguru are back, and you're about to leave, he'd rather clip your wings than let them have you. if he can't have you, then he'd rather let you take the fall.

shoko is bemused, in a sad sort of way. she knows she can't interfere. that, and her girlfriend hates satoru with a burning passion, so she doesn't want to start any fires there.

(utahime will never forgive how satoru had made fun of her when she'd taken a particularly nasty fall during a dance practice. they weren't even in the same industry for god's sake. utahime does not care.)

you're exhausted. money is thin. you've given up on your dreams of a musical career. the notebooks of sheet music and lyrics lay aimlessly on your floor. you pretend like you realize the bleakness of your life. in reality, when you can't sleep, you find yourself scribbling words and melodies.

satoru and suguru tried, once. to replace you. to find someone else. they couldn't even seriously stomach the idea before they gave up and went back to pathetically looking at old photos of you. one of the first things they got when they made it big was a professional album done of all the photos they had of you.

(shoko laughed until she cried when she heard about it, before smacking satosugu and telling them to "go talk to her and do something about it, dumbasses.")

ALSO DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THE RAMBLE!! i adored it and i hope to see you around nonnie, take care of yourself <33 i hope my other fics will be able to allow you to analyze the characters as well; the next chapter will be a doozy considering how badly i want to make it realistic but there's a lot of thought that goes into that hnghh. i hope you have a lovely day/night bby!!

[idyllic-affections]

I see that you do tbhk! If you could can I request friendship hcs for nene, hanako, and Kou? Ty in advance :)

general friendship hcs.

summary. general friendship headcanons with the main three.

trigger & content warnings. references to death.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. yashiro nene & reader, hanako & reader, minamoto kou & reader. 0.8k words. no pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. hello dear!!!! yes ofc you can.... the tbhk fans have been finding me recently and it makes me so happy helshsjghfh that's my comfort manga (i say, knowing it is the most horrible, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing manga i have read thus far)!!! i COULD say that this is my first time writing for tbhk, but that would make me a liar, because it's not! my first reader insert longfic was a tbhk one on quotev way back in 2021. i'd say i've improved a lot since then.

YASHIRO NENE—

being friends with nene means getting dragged into all of her supernatural adventures. if you're close enough to her, that is.

she, without a doubt, rants to you about her crushes and asks you for advice! she'll also complain about hanako to you, if you so happen to know about him.

she's super supportive. she's always cheering you on and encouraging you! and also, if you want advice or want to rant to her, she's completely open to that.

she rants to you, so you should be able to rant to her too. it's only fair. she does admit, though, that her advice might not be that good.

also i think nene would be physically affectionate. always hugging you, maybe giving you a lil kiss on the forehead if you're comfortable with that! hand-holding is also common with her.

she would be SO happy if you shared her interest in gardening or cooking! she'd love to have another friend to do those things with. if not, that's okay too! she doesn't want her friends to feel uncomfortable or forced to participate in any way.

she cares about you so so deeply and genuinely would be devastated if you ever got hurt because of her.

if you're a ghost, i don't think your dynamic would change much at all, actually. i think she would still treat you the same!

tell her she is pretty!!!! do not let her insecurities get to her!!!! reciprocate her supportive energy!!!!!

she might actually cry if a friend of hers were to support her so passionately.

HANAKO—

like nene, being close enough friends with hanako means you end up getting involved in things you probably shouldn't be involved in LMAO

i don't think he MEANS to get you involved, because he does worry about your safety, but it just sort of... happens. you end up involved regardless.

dude follows you everywhere, 100%

it's like what he does with nene, just without the romantic subtext LMAO

if you're human? he's sitting in your classes with you. he does it mainly for two reasons: one, because it reminds him of when he was alive, and it's strangely comforting. two, because he loves you and wants to annoy you <3

he's generally very clingy, and if you happen to be a ghost? ohohoho it's FAR worse.

he's always touching you in some way.

playing with your hair, fidgeting with your hands, hanging off of your shoulders... he's very touchy. poor thing is so touch starved.

personal space? he has no idea what that phrase means!

(he does, and if you seriously ask him to, he will respect your personal space and boundaries.)

it doesn't come from a bad place. he just finds it grounding. reassuring.

hanako also generally won't come to you with his problems.

he's not keen on being an open book. if you've known him for long enough, he would absolutely be more open to being honest with you, but if you haven't known him long at all? yeah... he's not cracking. trying to forcefully pry him open wouldn't help either.

MINAMOTO KOU—

he will absolutely, without a doubt, make you cute little homecooked meals.

we all know he's the only one out of his sibling's who is both old enough to use a stove and competent enough not to burn the kitchen down, so of course he would spend time making you a lunch!

especially if he felt like you weren't eating enough or you needed something extra to get you through the day. he notices the little details like that.

he's an acts of service kind of guy. he does little things to show you that he cares.

btw. if you're close enough friends with him? tiara and teru will both know you by name. you'll become like another member of their family <3

(tiara would get so excited every time she gets to see you, practically bouncing on her heels.)

i like to think he's a lil protective!!!! he worries about your safety and worries that supernaturals might want to hurt you bc of his involvement with you :c

teru would smite them before they got the chance, though, so kou really doesn't have much to worry about.

if you're a ghost, i think this dynamic would be very fascinating.

teru would try to kill you. yeah... sorry.

kou wouldn't let him though!! he would believe wholeheartedly that you're good and have no intention of being harmful, and because teru isn't really interested in ruining his relationship with his brother... you get to keep living your afterlife!

(please don't betray kou's trust.)

also if you're a little bit older than him, or if you just seem wiser, i think he'd ask you for advice on a bunch of things!

he doubts himself a lot. be sure to reassure him that he's doing the best he can for someone so young.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[i-cant-sing]

OMGGGGGG YOU GUYS THIS STALKER MANNNNNNN-

Basically, I was doing a patient and I had gloves on, so my friend needed my phone to call another patient of ours but instead of calling her, she accidentally called him AND WHEN SHE REALISED WHAT SHE DID, SHE PANICKED AND PUT THE PHONE TO MY EAR WHILE I WAS DOING A PATIENT, SO I WAS STILL UNDER THE FUCKING IMPRESSION THAT IM TALKING TO A PATIENT!

But as soon as he said "hello?" I recognised his voice immediately and I was glaring at my friend for calling him (after 4 days of whole radio silence) and I was like "I'm busy-" and he immeadiately cuts me off and goes "I'm with family right now, call me later" and cuts me off????

So anyways, I forget about it and it isn't until I'm home that I look at my phone again and he's texted me "call me at XXXXXXXXXXX" and I was like ??? And when I didn't instantly call him the very second, he texted in a very demanding tone "call me now" and I was like bitch???? But also bored so I called him💀💀💀💀

And so I called him and this is how the convo went:

Me: yeah?

Him: hey, how are you?

Me: I'm good.

Him: so... what's up?

Me: nothing much. So... you didn't call these past few days? Everything okay?

Him: I didn't call because of our fight.

Me: what fight????

Him, very coldly: what? Did you forgot about our disagreement? Did you forget about the gut wrenching, awful things you said to me that day?

(For recap, in my last convo with him I purposely told him to introduce me to his "womaniser" bestie so that I can date him, kept on saying his friend's name to make him jealous and pissed off so that he'll leave me alone)

Me, feigning innocence: ohhh you mean when I asked if you could introduce me to Ryan? Btw, how is he? Did he return from his trip?

Him: he's fine. I- why did you say all those nasty things?

Me: what nasty things?

Him: that you wanted to marry Ryan!

Me: marry? I NEVER SAID ID MARRY HIM- I said I wanted you to introduce me to him while I introduced you to a girl. And why do you care? You only wanted to be friends with me. It's not like you love me or anything-

Him, offended and slightly mad: YOU THINK I DONT LOVE YOU???! You think I don't love you- why am I calling you even after you keep on mocking me? Why do I take your insults and ridicule? Why? Why? Why?

Me: idk...

Him: do you really think I don't love you? Really? Be honest, do you think I'm not in love with you?

Me: idk

Him: you can't keep saying that.

Me, sighing: look- its just a little unbelievable, right? How can you be in love with someone you've never even seen? You haven't even seen my shadow, let alone my face???

Him: so what? Do you need to see someone to fall in love with them?

Me: ideally, yeah? I mean, even if you take out the whole "physical appeal" aspect, I'm like pretty darn rude to you. Like you said, I mock you and insult you. So how could you possibly love someone so horrible?

Him: ... you're not horrible. You're a good person.

Me: am not. But okay-

Him: no, you are. You have a good heart. Look- idk what to say- why did you even call me today?

Me, lying because he'd never believe that my friend accidentally called him: I was bored.

Him: you were bored? What? Am I just a plaything for you?

Me: yeah. And when I lose interest, I don't interact with you. See, I'm not a good person, so don't fall in love with me.

Him: you're lying, idk why but you are because you're a good person.

Me: if u say so.

Him: look just- *sighs* just don't say awful things like that again.

Me: like what?

Him: that you want to marry my friend.

Me: I DIDNT SAY THAT- why does it even matter????

Him: because it HURTS! It hurts it when you say you want to marry Ryan. Doesn't it hurt you if I said I'd marry your friend?

Me: no?

Him: ITS BAD! It hurts and why tf would you want to marry him and not me? He's a womaniser, a playboy, a cheater and youd still prefer him over me? And what about how your family wasn't going to approve of me, gut they'd approve of him???

Me: I mean, I guess they might?

Him: look- just, just answer me this- can you marry me or not?

Me: no, I don't think so.

Him: why not? Is it because I'm poor? I'm ugly? I'm-

Me: yes, but also other reasons. Look, I'm very tough to live with. I'm very hard to maintain.

Him: like what? What exactly do you want me to do to impress you and your family? Jump off a roof?

Me: no, then you'd die and I'd meet Ryan and your other friends at the funeral. But like I said, I have a lot of needs-

Him: LIKE WHAT?

Me: I have a sweet tooth. What if I want ice cream at 3 am?

Him: at 3 am? Why tf would you want ice cream at 3 am?

Me: that's just how I am.

Him: you shouldn't go out past 11 pm. It's unsafe outside-

Me, face palms: why would I go out? Its dangerous outside. You're going to fetch it for me. Can you? Or are you scared?

Him: at 3 am? What if someone stabs me?

Me: that's just a risk you're going to have to take. And if you can't, then I'll go out by myself and get me ice cream.

Him: no. No. I'll go get the ice cream. What else do you want me to do?

Me: I wake up often at night and want to talk or info dump. What are you gonna do about it?

Him: ill wake up and make us tea (because he's obsessed with tea) and coffee (because he knows I love coffee) for us. Next.

Me: well, I get sick often. My bones hurt at the slightest breeze in the air.

Him: ill take you to a doctor for your condition.

Me: it's incurable-

Him: by medicine. I'll take you to a witch, or homeopath, or worship some deity/false idols. But I'll do something, anything it takes to find a cure.

And then the convo went on random stuff, nothing interesting except towards the end where he was like "Okay but can you give me your WhatsApp number so that I can see your profile pic?" And I was like no, of not because I don't feel comfortable sending pics to people and also what if I look at you and don't like you at all!??!

And then he was like, have you even saved my number? And I was like no, and he was like "that's a smart decision because what if someone sees my name in your phone and asks you about it?" And I was like yeah, I guess that's the reason, but have you saved my number?

Him: yeah, I mean I already have memorised it but I still saved it.

Me: by what name? (Asks about the fake girl name I gave him)

Him: no, no. If my elder siblings or their spouse saw your name on my phone, they'll beat me up.

Me: ohh, so what did you save it as.

Him: I can't tell you. You'll get mad.

Me: why? Is it that disgusting?

Him: no, just- okay ill tell you but promise you won't get mad.

Me: yeah, sure. I promise.

Him: it's... "MY LIFE❤️"

The way I cringed so hard, metaphorically threw up in my mouth. Because obviously he's lying cause if he was as afraid of his siblings as he says he's is, he'd never even save it as something remotely like this nickname. But still, even for a lie, very cringe, second ha d embarrassing material.

Me: EWWWWWW STOP OMG WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT-

Him: hehe, you like it?

Me: no??? And if you don't change it, then you deserve to get beat up by your brothers.

Him: then what should I save it as? "Life line"? "My world"?

Me: how about (male version of my fake name)?

Him: hmm, okay. I gtg now, call me in the evening?

Me: oh I'm not calling you, I'm all out of money for making calls.

Him: well,I can't call you because of some bug in my phone until 12th October? How about we talk on WhatsApp? Or some other messaging app? What do you say?

Me: I say... I'll talk to you after 12th. BYE!

Him: wait what? NO NO NO NO NO-

And now I'm just like??? What is this obsession with talking on WhatsApp or messaging app? Like is it a thing that you can get more private/sensitive information or hack into someone's phone on these apps???

[paisholotus]

Hard Times

T'challa x black fem reader

Summary: T’Challa’s wife is dealing with the after effects of having a baby.

Warnings: Postpartum Depression, Strong Language, Mentions Of Suicidal Thoughts

Translations: Sthandwa (My Love) Intombazana yomntwana ( Baby Girl) Uthando lwam (Beloved) Ukumkanikazi wam ( My Queen) Ndiyakuthanda ( I Love You) Ndiyakuthanda, nawe ( Love You, Too) Nobabini ( Both Of You)

❗DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED❗

Requested By: @bluesapphire2

A/N: This MF Long. But I hope you like it fren. And I hope y'all like it

3rd Pov

It’s the most glorifying day for the kingdom of Wakanda. A new heir has been born.

Princess Lesedi Udaku came into the world. Her name meaning “Ray Of Light”, she gave that to her family and everyone who knew about her.

Except for the most important person. Her mother. Who couldn't seem to have any light in her eyes, when she looked at her daughter.

The King T’Challa fawned over his daughter even more since she was born. She was a perfect mix of him and his wife, having both of your features. T’Challa’s high cheekbones, your smooth coco brown skin, his tight curls, and your big beautiful brown eyes. She was beyond the words perfect, she was everything he could have imagined. T'challa thanks Bast every day, for bringing his beloved Intombazana yomntwana into the world.

➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️

Y/N Pov

I looked at her and felt nothing but emptiness. I couldn’t help the blank expression on my face when I held her close to my chest, holding her skin to skin. It’s not that i didn’t love her. How could i not love her? SHE'S FUCKING MINE, FOR BAST SAKE! Shit, I begged for her. I spent 9 months caring and nurturing her, but why did i feel nothing when she looked at me? I felt absolutely nothing, and it was gut wrenching. I waited and prayed for my child, and she's gets here and I couldn't feel nothing. What is wrong with me?

T’Challa, being the observant husband he was, noticed the joy i had during my pregnancy disappeared once our child actually came. His face held concern every time he looked at me. I would hear him ask his mother Ramonda, about what was wrong with me, and she simply replied with: “My son, she spent 12 hours in labor trying to give birth to your daughter. She is exhausted, mentally and physically. Give her time, she'll be fine and back to herself in no time."

It's been two weeks, i had multiple mood swings. I was irritable, and having thoughts about my baby that i shouldn't be having. And it scared the hell out of me, because Bast knows i would never hurt my baby. I didn't have the strength to be around my little girl, but I was constantly sad because i wasn’t around her.

What added to my stress was me not producing enough milk as much as i wanted to. I already felt like i didn't bond with her, but now I couldn't do the SIMPLEST THING which is feed my baby. I slowly felt myself getting more and more depressed. I started thinking what good is it for me to be here, if I couldn't feel any love for my child. I truly felt broken.

T'challa walked into the room as I paced back and forth beside the bed. “Why am I feeling this way, T’Challa?!” i questioned him angrily as hot tears ran down my cheeks.

He looked like he didn't know what to say, but walked towards me. “I-I do- I do not know, my love, but it'll get better. You know I'm always here for you." He said, reaching out for me.

I glared at him backing away taking in a ragged breathe. I angrily placed my hands on the sides of my head, and let out a choked sob. I looked back at him, his eyes glossy and a frown on his face. And it made me Angry! Not because of him, because of the stress and worry I was putting him through. It just seemed like I couldn't do ANYTING FUCKING RIGHT!

“Get out, T’Challa.” i turned my back away from him, so he wouldn't see me crying, and walked towards the bed, to get in the covers. When he attempted to grab me, i pushed him away.

“I SAID FUCKING LEAVE!” He slowly backed away, and began walking out of the room. I got in the bed and pulled the covers over my head, and began sobbing. What is happening to me?

➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️

T’Challa’s Pov

I went to the doctor monitoring Y/N and Lesedi. The doctor informed me that it was common for her to be extremely sad, which occurs in a lot of women after giving birth.

“The Queen is suffering from postpartum depression, my king.” he told me. I looked at him confused.

“I've never heard of this....depression.” i was genuinely confused. I did not know she was depressed. How could i not see this? I just want to understand why.

“How is she depressed? She gave birth to the child we begged Bast for? I don't understand why she isn't happy. I said, looking at the doctor who gave me a sympathetic look.

“It’s not that she is not happy, T'challa. Her hormones, her worries, the stress of dealing with a newborn, can all bring upon this depression.” he said. He went to grab his clip board and started naming all the symptoms of Postpartum Depression.

anger

anxiety

guilt

hopelessness

loss of interest or pleasure in activities

mood swings

panic attacks

I folded my arms and frowned at each symptom he named. My Love was going through all this this?

Uncontrollable crying

irritability

restlessness

 fatigue or loss of appetite

depression or fear

The thought of Y/N feeling like this, and trying to deal with it by herself hurt me. I felt tears brim my eyes but I quickly held my composure. I needed to be strong for Y/N, and to make sure she knew I was here for her.

I now had a better understanding, and thanked him, taking my leave to check on Y/N. I don't know what's going on with my Uthando lwam, but I will not stop until I figure it out.

➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️

3rd Pov

T'challa walked in the room to see you in the bedroom again curled up in a ball. You were in bed with a pained look on your face. Y/N saw his face, and looked like she wanted to cry even more. This wasn’t only hurting you, it was hurting him too. It was hurting the baby. He got into bed and after a few moments of silence, he spoke.

"I need you to tell me what's going on with you, Sthandwa."

Y/N sighed deeply, shaking her head and turning away from him.

“You won’t understand, T’Challa.”He turned your body back towards him and stared into your eyes. “You’re not letting me understand. We are one, Ukumkanikazi wam. You can't keep shutting me out. I need you, our daughter needs you." He said, softly.

"She deserves a mother that’s happy to be around her and I’m not. I feel EMPTY! And I don’t understand because those 9 months I spent with her in my STOMACH, I felt so close to her but now she’s actually here and I don't feel ANYTHING! LIKE WHAT IS THE POINT?! I CAN'T FEED HER RIGHT! EVERY TIME I TRY TO HOLD HER SHE CRIES! AND IT'S MY FAULT BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE A BOND! I just feel like she'll be better off without me." She said, As tears streamed down her face.

He grabbed your face. “D-Do...... Do not say that! You are everything to me and you are everything to her. Do not say you are nothing! AND SHE WOULDN'T BE BETTER OFF! AND NEITHER WOULD I! WE NEED YOU! this WORLD and this COUNTRY NEEDS YOU! Do you understand?" Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, and cried into his shoulder and slowly nodded.

T'challa rubbed her back soothingly and kissed the side of her head, and turned her head so she could look at him. "I need you. Our daughter needs you. This kingdom needs you. You have to believe me when I say you are needed.”

After a hour of them comforting each other, T'challa got an idea, and kissed Y/N's head saying he'll be right back. Y/N sat up against the headboard and watched her husband walk out. Y/N sat in thought and tried to think positive, her and T'challa was going to make it through this, she'll just have to keep fighting.

T'challa walked in carrying Lesedi as she dranked from her baby bottle. T'challa got In bed beside his Queen, and slowly handed Lesedi to Y/N. She carefully took her and stared into her big brown eyes. Lesedi stared at her mama and reached her little chubby arm up and placed her hand on her mama's cheek, smiling letting out a gurgling noise.

Suddenly, it all hit her. A rush of happiness, joy, and love came barreling into Y/N, tears streaming down her face, as she started laughing. Y/N prepped many kisses on her daughters face. This is your daughter. This is yours. All yours. You knew you loved her with every fiber of your being, but now you finally felt it, and it was the most indescribable feeling you ever felt in your life.

T'challa looked at his wife with tears in his own eyes, and scooted over wrapping his arm around her back, and kissed her cheek.

"Ndiyakuthanda." He whispered to her. She turned to look at him with the biggest smile he's seen in a long time. "Ndiyakuthanda, nawe." And kissed his lips, pulling away and looking back at her daughter. "Nobabini"

[brainrotlesbian]

I was encouraged by my mutual @guys-in-distress-database so here I go. Recently watched the Boxtrolls and it was great and of course I noticed some amazing whump potential from Herbert Trubshaw, so here’s a little bit I decided to write

Trubshaw, Sr.

Part 2 here: https://www.tumblr.com/brainrotlesbian/732272462318944256/trubshaw-sr-part-2

Includes: kidnapping, chains, gagging, physical beating

Herbert Trubshaw watched as the trolls ran off with his son, his heart hammering in his chest. Archibald Snatcher couldn’t get his hands on him now. His baby would be safe. He, on the other hand, was not, and was met with a heavy smack to the back of the head with a club, the cries of his child fading in his ears.

He didn’t know how long he was out. Most likely hours. But when he finally came to, he had been hung upside down from the ceiling, effectively mummified in chains.

“What?” he croaked. He looked around, the sounds of the chains clanking across the warehouse. “Where am I?”

“Morning, Mr. Trubshaw!” Snatcher sang-song. Trubshaw wiggled and writhed, trying to position himself so he could see that treacherous man. “I’m so glad you decided to join me in my efforts in the purification of this town. Those nasty trolls took off with your child! How do you feel about that?”

He blinked. His son, his boy, taken by the box trolls… no. He gave him to them, to protect him. He scowled at his captor.

“If I’m not dead you must want something from me,” he hissed. “What is it?”

“I already told you. I need you to invent me something to rid this town from those vile trolls. Once and for all,” Snatcher growled, grabbing onto one of the chains that bound him. “And now, you gotta do as I say.”

Trubshaw gagged at the smell of his breath, then scoffed. “I won’t. It isn’t right. Those trolls have just as much of a right to life as the rest of us.”

“Oh my god, shut up! You don’t have a choice! You build my machine, or I make you pay—” Snatcher froze. “No. No, that won’t work.” He stepped away and began muttering to himself, pacing across the floor with long strides.

Trubshaw watched, writhing in his restraints. They held him fast, without any signs of breaking. He sighed in defeat. For now, he was stuck. And he was beginning to develop a headache from being hung upside down. He wasn’t sure how long this would last.

“Pah, I guess I’ll just have to break you myself,” Snatcher decided. “Although… I do have quite a mess to clean up. Your mess, Mr. Trubshaw, if you weren’t aware, so I suppose I’ll leave Mr. Pickles and Mr. Trout to do it instead. Rough him up all you like. He’ll give in eventually.”

He tried curling in on himself, but he was bound too tightly. He watched with anxiety as the two henchmen approached him.

“Do… you think what we’re doing is good?” the shorter one asked. “I mean, this is a good thing, right? We’re helping cleaning up the community. Making it safer, yeah?”

The larger one nodded. “Hmm, yes, but what if it’s not. Mr. Trubshaw had a point I think, with the trolls deserving life and all.”

“Yes, yes, they do!” he cried. “Pl-please, help me! I can… we can change things, can we not? We can— mmmph!” He was stopped as Snatcher shoved a dirty cloth in his mouth and tied the ends at the back of his head.

“Don’t listen to him,” he snarled. “Just rough him up. Maybe then we can get him to cooperate.”

He lumbered off, leaving Trubshaw bound, gagged, and alone with two men with orders to beat him. He swallowed nervously, switching his attention between the two of them.

“Yeah, alright,” the larger one said. “We got orders, and following orders is the good thing to do.” He punctuated this with a hard punch to Trubshaw’s gut, leaving him gasping and spluttering beneath his gag.

“Eh… I guess you’re right,” the shorter man said, shrugging, then he turned to the work table behind him and picked up a large metal wrench. “Following orders is the good thing to do!” He swung the wrench, connecting a solid hit to his temple, which all but knocked him out again.

He knew he wasn’t going to be able to last long. Not here. Not with this treatment.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

I only just recently read Burn The Witch and i loved it so much. It’s wild to me (but also not really) that people paid the most attention to the smut chapter than anything else when to me, my favourite thing about that series was the gritty, darker parts of it.

That is something that personally I love so much about your writing, I love it when it gets gruesome and hard to read because it draws me in even more. Since I’m a huge angst/whump reader might give me a bias but it goes without saying that you are really fucking good at writing fics with horror/angst elements.

It baffles me when people get butt hurt about how a fic ends or how a characters acts in a fic because like- if you don’t like it then just…don’t read it? Go find another fic and just leave it at that? Better yet, just go back to reading or watching the source material… People’s urge to just tear down other people for the select reason being that they don’t like it is so insane to me. Is it hurting anyone? Nope, okay then move on with your day. It’s as simple as that!!

this message literally makes me so happy omg.

I love writing angst and whump and horror so much. I love it. it is something I love writing even more that smut (and the reason most of my fics are smut is because I enjoy writing it) - but I find that I am almost afraid to write it, because I am afraid of my fics being too dark and too depressing. like the things I want to write are like those 'top ten most disturbing horror movies' - those movies that people watch just for shock value that they have to turn off half way through

I love writing visceral, descriptive horror. I love writing gut wrenching angst. but I am always afraid of going too far with it (even if I put warnings on it).

also friendly reminder that my requests for TWD are open (idk if you watch the show and you're familiar with the characters? I don't remember if you have mentioned that before) - but this would be a great opportunity for you to request something really angsty and whumpy for that fandom (especially because TWD is such a great backdrop for writing angst).

writing Burn The Witch was one of the most eye-opening experiences I had as an artist, because writing the scenes of emotional angst and physical torture were some of the most fun I had, and a time where I stretched my legs creatively where I had been static for a long time (writing simple smut fics in a kind of routine?) - and it really reawakened me as an artist. it made me realize that I can write stories beyond simple smut (and you can see that in so many stories I have written since then) - but I was disheartening for me to post that story and see people only pay attention to the smut chapter when the parts I was post brought of was every single chapter after it.

anyway - thank you so so much for this message. it really means a lot to me. and this will probably inspire me to pay more attention to my angsty ideas in the future <3

[neonscandal]

Can I ask, why do you love MLM romance better than Het romance? What makes them better? I did not mean anything negative, and I know everyone have their own like and dislike but I want to know your thoughts....

Also what do you think that made Asian MLM (Danmei, BL manga/manhwa/manhua/tv series) romances different than western MLM romances?

Out the gate with the fujoshi allegations!

Hahaha I joke. I feel like, from my blog, it's very reasonable to make that assumption. I think I watch and recommend mostly het-romance but, there are a number of reasons why MLM ships cause some serious brainrot and frequently appear on my page (this is a SatoSugu, BakuDeku and AshEiji specific call out).

I won't say that the ships are better but as to why they're more pervasive?

From a shonen standpoint, the protagonist and deuteragonist tend to be the the most developed and nuanced characters with more chemistry due to the complexity of their relationship typically driving the plot forward.

Additionally, the development of the relationship will generally have more texture than the flat afterthought of the MC with the FMC they are canonically paired with.

Typically, because these characters are both men, while you'll see some toxic stereotypes (specific to actual BL and yaoi which are usually ick inducing), both characters will generally have the same amount of agency which isn't always given to prop female characters. Remember, kids, the fridge trope is harmful for everyone.

Because these ships aren't always intended, there's that delulu element of "will they, won't they?" like Ross and Rachel from Friends. The DRAMA. Also, they are generally more tragic and, what lingers more: happiness or pain? It's pain. Pain by a long shot. And the fodder to rectify that pain is endless (thank you, fix-it fic authors). There are of course, also ways to twist the knife, too (thank you, sadists).

Subsequently, the resonance of these ships stems from the much stronger emotions you have when things are gut-wrenching. But, also, I am actively reading the ongoing series' of JJK and MHA so of course that part of my brain gets poked more frequently than series' that have long since been completed.

Let's not forget that there's a disproportionate number of shonen and seinen series' that ultimately get full anime adaptations. Off the top of my head, the Ouran High School Host Club fandom is still waiting for a second season. ⌚️👀 HoriMiya and Sasaki to Miyano were heavily abbreviated before getting second seasons, a refreshing shock to the system.

Specifically, of the three main ships that litter my blog (see above), I happen to viscerally relate to one or both of the characters in question. Again, we can chalk that up to the depth of character and my own flaws.

Stylistically, there's a big difference between Western and East Asian media across other genres too. For instance, after only being exposed to the dramatic musical scores in Western horror, there is something truly unsettling with the absence of build up or sound in East Asian horror right before something big catches you unawares.

When it comes to romance (if we're focusing on MLM, it still applies), I think the big difference is the intimacy. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely some series that have a similar level of physical engagement as a Western romance. But, with a lot of stories, you'll go a whole series holding your breath for a hand hold or a hug and it's delectable. The absence of the physical creates so much more depth in those telltale looks characters exchange or the moments of silence when they're alone in each others' presence (awkwardly as hell, might I add).

By comparison, in Western media, you're going through the whole gamut without as much nuance for the layers of non-physical intimacy. Or it's something that gets developed post hookup which is realistic to an extent. But, considering real life hook up culture these days, I think it makes the before stand out as a lot more endearing so maybe that informs the preference.

All that to say, this isn't an endorsement of modesty politics, at all. Life is a healthy mix of both and I'm all about comprehensive experiences. People will gravitate toward whatever speaks to them at whatever point they are in their life. Do you have a preference and, if so, what do you think informs it? Respectfully, I appreciate your curiosity in reaching out.

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

In the three weeks since the Supreme Court overturned a woman’s constitutional right to an abortion, uncertainty is growing about how the ruling will affect other pregnancy-related issues like fertility treatments, contraception, even miscarriage.

A woman in Texas said after finding out she had a miscarriage, her doctor refused to perform the necessary medical procedure, which means she carried her dead fetus for two weeks until she found a doctor who would help her.

Marlena Stell and Ab DeSilva have always wanted a little brother or sister for their daughter, Adelina. Instead, what they said they got was a nightmare because of a Texas anti-abortion law.

“I get so angry that I was treated this way because of laws that were passed by men who have never been pregnant and never will be,” Stell said.

Her nightmare started out as a dream come true. After months of trying, she became pregnant late last summer.

“We were super-excited because we didn’t think I could get pregnant,” Stell said.

An ultrasound at 7 and 1/2 weeks showed all was well. But at an ultrasound two weeks later showed something different.

“She said there is no heartbeat. There is no viable pregnancy,” Stell said.

Stell asked her doctor for a standard treatment: a surgery to remove the fetal remains. She said her doctor refused.

That surgery, commonly known as a D and C, is the same procedure used to abort a living fetus.

“She said, ‘Well, because of the new law that’s passed, you’re going to have to get another ultrasound for me to be able to even do anything for you,’” Stell said.

She said she was overwhelmed emotionally and physically. “The pain would get so severe, it would be hard to walk,” Stell said.

She went to get a second invasive ultrasound at an imaging center, describing it later in a YouTube video: “Someone shoves a wand in my in my sensitive area and tells me, ‘Hey, you lost your baby’ again. I shouldn’t have to go through that twice.”

She added, “It was gut-wrenching, sorry, ‘cause you already know what you’re going to see. It’s just like, seeing it twice, being told that you’re not going to be a mom.”

It was still not enough to get her doctor to give her medical care. Stell had to get yet another ultrasound showing her dead fetus.

She was walking around carrying a dead fetus “and just emotionally carrying it around and just knowing that there’s nothing you could do. It just feels very ... it’s like I can’t grieve or move past it because I’m just walking around carrying it.”

Dr. Lillian Schapiro, who has been an OB-GYN in Atlanta for more than 30 years, said carrying around a dead fetus is also dangerous to the mother.

“She can develop an infection that can make her sterile and never able to have children again,” she said.

Or even worse. “When the baby dies inside, the baby starts to release parts of its tissue that can get into the mother’s blood supply. It can cause organ failure. It can cause death,” Schapiro said.

In Texas and some other states, a doctor who does the right thing and surgically removes a dead fetus could be vulnerable to an expensive lawsuit.

“Any private citizen can walk into court and say ‘I think Dr. Smith performed an abortion,’” said Stephen Vladeck, a law professor at the University of Texas.

Citizens are incentivized to bring such cases. They can win more than $10,000.

And even when doctors can prove the fetus was dead, the doctor still has to be responsible for their own legal fees.

“They’re going to lose even though they win, and that’s the chilling effect. They face this specter of potentially endless, ruinous litigation, that they just can’t stop, they can’t avoid, they can’t pre-empt,” Vladeck said.

Stell did finally manage to find a doctor to perform her D and C, but it took two weeks. She said she worries the nightmare could happen to her again.

Stell said she isn’t trying to get pregnant again.

“I’m worried about getting infected, have something happen to me. And then my daughter’s left without her mom,” she said.

Now they’re contemplating moving away from Texas, away from their extended family, just so they can try to get pregnant again.

Texas filed a lawsuit last week challenging an executive order by President Joe Biden giving hospitals the right to pre-empt state abortion restrictions when there’s an emergency.

[hraunwyf]

"For one thing, Mrs. Shaw," he said calmly, "I'm completely immune to telepathy. For another, magical blades can't hurt me. Others have tried. Nor can a normal sword." Both are true. Hercules himself had found out the latter firsthand. "You may threaten and rage all you wish. I understand well by now that your are irrational, and I am prepared to accommodate that. But the Black King did not gain this title by being easily intimidate by such petty displays. And if you do successfully end me?" He smiled at her, "Well, I'd die at Selene's hands anyway. At least this way, I go knowing you must contend with the fact you broke your father's bond---and lost him his benefits. I do wonder what a shrewd man like the "All-Father" will say to that."

@sebastianshaw

telepathy. is that what he thinks she means?

loki falls into no class of power that humanity has defined; even her relationship to what they call magic is so far afield that none can truly grasp it. because her magic, the first magic, is nothing found on earth, is older than it, older than the gift of the demiurge and older than chthon and older than all of them. from further beyond. from before.

"i can assure you this won't be the first nor the last time i disappoint odin, and i'd rather he break me than a pathetic little thing like you."

it's been so long since she crept her way into a man's mind—the last one was norman osborn, but he had wanted it that way, really, even if he hadn't known until it was too late. it feels the same, the way she visualizes it, like a hand on the other side of a veil, the shadow of fingertips touching, the feather-light pressure and movement.

be very still, the whispering suggestion, let go of inhibition, of thought, of control, of reaction. but it isn't suggestion, it's the methodical shutting-off of those processes, her will into magic into manipulation that's always more physical than anyone thinks. the perk of having the universe at her hands, that her thoughts touch all of it.

but loki won't cut his head off this time. just give him a warning, retract hræsvell from his throat, and push the blade through his gut with little ceremony, a sickening, wet sound which she holds him quite still for with the iron grip of enchantment. the resistance is pleasant, and so is the heat and smell of blood when she quarter-turns the blade and wrenches it back out.

no need for magical swords when a regular one works just fine. loki wipes the blood from the steel on one of shaw's sleeves, then withdraws her influence to let him drop.

"don't call me mrs. shaw again, sebastian. my name is loki laufeyson, and if you don't release me soon, i'll kill you."

nothing further.

loki sheathes her sword, and leaves. dove will need her now.