#when really. as per the quotes i've been posting

[fideidefenswhore]

the downfall and execution of a tudor queen (2023) / the boleyns: a scandalous family (2021) / the king's pearl: henry viii and his daughter mary (2017), melita thomas / anne boleyn (tv miniseries 2021) / the mirror and the light (2024) / elizabeth (1998)

[mhalachai]

some of you may have seen a notice today from a tumblr-popular youtube show, saying they're putting all their content behind a subscriber paywall. This post isn't about them per say, only bouncing off what that has brought up into the following:

When is a digital subscription something i'm willing to pay for? Rubric edition

Disclaimer - my first news job was in the early aughts at a digital stock news company, so I've been keeping an eye on this subject for over 25 years.

So you want to access an entertainment or news service that has content behind a subscriber paywall. What steps should you go through, to figure out if it's something that you should pay for?

This post will go off the caveat that artists/authors/reporters (I'm not calling them content creators, that term is garbage) should be properly compensated for the works they produce, and the current business model in our late-stage capitalist society means we all have to deal with the worst possible way of engaging with art - the subscription-model paywall. It's a terrible garbage system but there we are.

Step Zero: Do you care enough about the content to consider paying for it?

It might not be important enough to you to want to pay for, and that's okay. On the other hand, you may want to continue watching/reading/listening, either because of the content itself or because you want to support its creation.

(I'm separating the above as they are two different reasons - personally, i'm in favour of paying an annual subscriber fee to my small local news room to keep them in producing the content because I think it's important they exist.)

Step 1: Can you literally afford it?

Everything costs more and salaries aren't rising. If the answer to the question is no, can you split the cost with someone? Is it something that can be accessed through your local library (in terms of audiobooks or magazine/newspapers)? Otherwise, moving to:

Step 2: Is the cost of the subscription in line with what you're willing to pay for the content?

I still subscribe to the newspaper i used to work for - I can read all the news and get all the quotes I'm interested in, and I know i'm supporting local news. I'm willing to pay money for that.

On the other hand, back last year when Disney Plus announced it was raising its prices, I decided that I wasn't interested in paying that amount for what I was getting, so I cancelled that one. Do I miss it? Yes, somedays. Would I go back to them if the cost went down? Honestly I don't know.

Step 3: Did the company/channel do something to lose your trust?

Sometimes, all the above have been met with the affirmative, but something about how the company is doing things sets your teeth on edge. Maybe it's how their business model is evolving, or how they treat their customers (Netflix and their password sharing crackdown was that tipping point for me - i no longer wanted to support a company that sees its customer base like that). Maybe it's how they decided to move to subscriber-only. Maybe it's their take on geopolitical or social issues. Whatever it might be, you get to make that call for you.

Summation: Don't feel pressed by FOMO to pay for something when you're not comfortable doing so.

Whatever the situation is, you get to decide where you spend your money. The corollary of that is that you may not get to see the new stuff created by companies/channels that you like, but honestly? That trade-off might be better for you in the long run (and I'm saying this with too many years of regret behind me) nothing poisons the enjoyment of art more than feeling like you were forced to pay/pay more for it than you were OK with.

The tl;dr: Take a step back and see if you're really comfortable with paying for all your electronic subscription fees for news or entertainment. Don't feel pressured into paying for something you don't really want to see, or what to support. Consider where you want your money to go.

It's hard economic times - do what you need to, and spend your money where you want to.

(And check into what your local library has on offer - they may have streaming services or digital content you weren't aware of - might be enough to tide you over for a while).

[minggukieology]

hello!

could you tell us about this expression "저 그렇게 쉬운 사람 아닙니다"? your translation of it, the context it was said in and how you interpreted it?

also what do you think of the fact that jungkook wanted to go to jimin's house to do the live and he said he'd take his things to take a shower there? O_O

thank you so much!

Hi, there! Thanks a lot for your message.

Oh well 🤭 let's take a look I guess!!

(*screenshot not mine)

To start off, I've seen a lot of discourse around this and also as to why/by whom it was deleted. To answer that first, it's hard to say because Jimin just commented:

"삭제해 버리네" which doesn't indicate who performed the action as the pronoun here is missing. He just wrote *he he he* "deleting" or "deleted"

He did use a grammar form 해 (어/아) 버리다 as to indicate that the action was completed in full; this grammar form can also carry an emotional undertone -as if someone was glad/regretful that the action happened. The best or closest interpretation of what he wrote then would be "he he he it's all deleted/gone" (alternatively: "he he he deleting it all") Did he mean he was glad he deleted? Or was he laughing that it got deleted? Hard to tell... You can see Jungkook understood it in that way, but I don't really see a reason why such action would be taken by anyone from the staff or moderators on the platform (if there are any).

Simply because what he wrote was very... brazen to say the least (we'll get into that) but in no way vulgar or inappropriate for broadcast.

Now looking at the preceding comment which you asked about... Jimin knew what he was doing with this comment 🤭 (and the nature of it leads me to believe even more he regretted posting so he deleted it quickly and was laughing about it)

"저 그렇게 쉬운 사람 안입니다"

This phrase closest translates to:

"I am not such an easy person" / "I am not that of an easy person"

First, this sentence is a commonly used phrase, you can also see by the formal tone in which Jimin wrote it as if he was quoting it- he normally doesn't have to / shouldn't talk with such high politeness with Jungkook and Jungkook responded in a highly formal tone and the typical Jimin-ssi for that very reason => which all adds another layer to this whole interaction (teasing upon teasing 🫣)

It's very commonly used when someone is in pursuit of someone else, whether it be trying to persuade you, make you do/feel something or make a move on you.

You would typically say this in a setting when a stranger is trying to get to know you/get your number or in other words is hitting on you and you want to politely and also a bit playfully reject. Of course, the context can also be that when a friend is trying to get on your good side, please you or persuade you. This answer is kind of teasing way to say "huh you think this would work on me?" It is a lot of times spoken in situations when you want to be playful/teasing/flirtatious and say: I'm not such an easy person (but)... [I'm not that easy to sway/your attempts have not been enough, you should try harder]. It can read as an invitation, a sort of cheeky rebuttal to say you know your worth and you expect more to be persuaded.

When put in the context of the wlive, there is more to consider. Jungkook was talking about taking it easy prior to Jimin posting that, when he read a few comments saying that Jimin should "go easy". I feel like Jimin's idea for the comment came from this moment. What leads me to believe he ended up deleting it is that the context in which he said it made it inherently flirtatious and very suggestive: Jungkook naked in bed, trying really hard to persuade Jimin over a livestream to go see him and Jimin making prior remarks to Jungkook to uncover himself 🙈 And that's how it was understood by Jungkook as well as he then went on to reason that it was Weverse that deleted the comment (for it being somehow explicit).

(**Also just to note, "an easy person" 쉬운 사람 as a standalone term in Korean doesn't carry an outright sexual meaning- an easy person in Korean is understood as more of a 'negative' term when you are too agreeable, when you don't stand up for yourself and let people walk over you and you are too easily taken advantage of. It doesn't have to do anything with someone's promiscuity. In the phrase Jimin used however, the implied meaning is different as explained.**)

Very shortly to the last part of your message, he said: "I'll bring stuff to wash up with" most likely implying he was to stay at Jimin's after the proposed live and sleep (and from my guess wash up before his schedule).

"내가 갈게, 내가 씻을 거 챙겨가지고 갈게"

"I'll go, I'll bring stuff to wash up with and go."

(he was emphasizing that he has no problem doing it, he is ready to go).

[ineedtopost]

Paolo stories and rumors and their sources

Ok, so in the last 23 days i've been talking to @nate-acmilan a lot and he really likes having sources for everything I tell him about Maldini. This has led me to two things, one, that others most likely want the sources to these stories, and two, I have found many sources for these things because of it. Also i've found a lot of random things too:

Rumors (Fully sourced)

So the first story I have a source for is Maradona saying that Paolo is too pretty to play football, which i'm pretty sure everyone has heard at some point. So basically I had another source for this, which is this one: https://arcobaleno2006.wordpress.com/2005/02/23/made-in-milan/

But then just before I posted this Nate sent a better one which is funnier and from a few years before: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/988261.stm

2. Ok so this one isn't really a rumor or story but basically I am just going to assume everybody is curious about a source for Paolo liking coca-cola, so besides the pictures with him always having it I also have a source, which is just the magazine I got, because the others are taking super long to get here:

Though, there was another source for this but I don't remember, but it was among the ones for this list anyway. But his liking of cola is mentioned sometimes at random when people talk about him.

3. I think that everybody has different interpretations of what happened at his first training session, but what I originally heard was that Cesare just left him there and came back later, which is true. Also, he wasn't there for Paolo's debut match either, though to be fair it wasn't known it was going to be his debut. This source has both of those:

4. I don't know if this is known a lot or not but Paolo didn't graduate high school, he only got up to a middle school diploma. But I knew this, and of course was asked for a source, so here it is:

5. Also, I don't know if everyone has heard of this but I'm assuming some of you have, and it's Paolo liking Silence of the Lambs. Some sources say it's his favorite, some not, but I think this is where that idea originally comes from:

Semi-Sourced

For this section I have one thing so I won't be numbering it, but basically I have heard that Armani wanted Paolo to Model for him, at some point in the 90's. And I always thought that this took place in the late 90's, but actually it was apparently in 1994 when he said this, according to this:

However I have nothing else to go off of for this, so it's still semi-true because I haven't seen a direct quote from Armani.

Tid-Bits

Ok, so this section is just random things I found in my research and one of them is that, at least back in the day, Paolo walked on his tippytoes when he wasn't wearing shoes. It comes from a book where the author interviewed Paolo himself, and Adriana and Billy and Cesare and Ambrosini and Ancelotti etc., so I believe it to be true:

You can just download it from there for free. That in particular is on page 177-178.

2. This is something else that comes from that book, which is that as a kid his mom made him do gymnastics and guitar. This is from page 25.

3. Last, I know that Paolo used to have a website but I don't think any of us have actually seen it. But I found an archived version of it recently:

Ok so that's it. I don't know if there is anything else I forgot, but obviously if you want to ask about any stories or rumors do it because I might have sources for that as well. And no, @kvaradonaa, I still have not found the source for Paolo and Sheva sleeping in the same bed, which I know is devastating but I haven't seen anything about it since that one time. So yeah, but I also did this because no gatekeeping and also because those new magazines are taking forever to get here and I am bored.

[mecachrome]

your oscar primer was absolutely brilliant, thank you so much for posting it!! well-researched, well-written, and a good balance of educational and hilarious. if you want to share, i’d be very interested in reading any of the parts you mentioned that you cut out, like george-admiring, oscar’s psyche, etc, but no pressure ofc 🫶

omg no thank you so much for your kind words, i appreciate it a lot!!! :D andddd let me see... honestly i was just going to add a few more quotes & anecdotes from other people about his personality but i ended up incorporating most of them into the primer (e.g. mark's), but in general i think it's really charming how Every Single Adult who has ever worked with oscar throughout the years is so deeply and immediately convinced of his maturity. i did work in most of this old ask but it has a few extra quotes in there from mclaren personnel! anyway more below the cut:

i guess really the thing to Me about oscar is like...... idk if this makes any sense but i personally love how he's naturally a really gracious and diplomatic person but is also deeeeeply self-assured and objective, which on one hand means he presents as quite humble when he doesn't make excuses for himself or get caught up in deceptively high results, but on the other also means he refuses to give anyone else credit for his own success; if you remember me briefly mentioning prematax in that post he talks about it in the f1fs pod where he basically goes i didn't win because of PREMA, in fact i've NEVER LOST TO A TEAMMATE, SO. like any racing driver that is def a big source of pride for him, and i think it speaks to the "silent killer" (per lando) side to him, the guy who mark says "falls asleep" when hearing stories of his (championless) career, who said that he supported mark out of national obligation growing up but—let us not forget—vettel was the one winning everything back then anyway, who says he put even more pressure on himself to win his final race in f2 despite having clinched the title 2 races prior because he felt the innate urge to prove that he wouldn't simply ease off the gas pedal and still had it in himself to subjugate the field one last time.

along these lines oomf and i have discussed before how he and alex rank similarly on the kind/nice dichotomy in a way that is slightly diametric to lando, wherein he is always willing to offer tidy bits of sympathy for someone else's struggles but doesn't ever really envision any of them as relevant to his own experiences, because getting caught up in that "external noise" would be a waste of time (even with logan in the f3 finale it was honestly kind of like "aw man that sucks, i'd hate for it to be me... ANYWAY"). like not to maybe exaggerate his interiority but i enjoy that he carries an amount of hidden tension that he obviously consciously decides to not take reactionary measures over—though that doesn't mean it isn't there, it's just very well regulated (unrelated but he does actually work with mental coach emma murray, who also works with scott mclaughlin and whom he says helped him center himself at the end of his eurocup season). but he's still very... unfiltered about when he's been disrespected in an unperturbed, straightforward manner, like saying otmar confronting him on the sim over being promoted to the seat was "bizarre and frankly upsetting," the face he made when he was told they'd overtaken alpine in the standings in 2023, telling the kids in that hp tuners interview that the renault engineers treated his first f1 test too nonchalantly, etc. 😭 like every interview back when he was a reserve driver was soooo "i'm gracious about being stuck in this role but also i've proven myself way too much to Not Hate This Compromise and i'll be pissed as hell if i don't get a seat next year"... i'll stop here but basically he is truly a master of balancing gritted-teeth conviction with his tactical charm and it is one of my fav things ever about him!!!

also another quote i love is this one from david sera about his driving style, because 1) i love the correlation between it and his personality/calmness, 2) i'm obsessed with the dynamic of his early rc days helping nurture a style of "finesse" in his driving throughout his junior career that may not have appeared naturally if he'd only begun racing in karting (and subsequently how he had to learn to not get "muscled around" after moving to europe), and 3) of course as a noted jb22 appreciator i love when people note similarities in his inputs to jb because it is delicious to ME:

Coming from a remote control car background where concentration, finesse and smooth inputs, these were the traits we saw in Oscar in the cadet category. [...] You would often see other drivers have an advantage in the early part of the race, driving more aggressively, but Oscar had a more calm approach.

c__c but back to the first part of the ask and our good friend russell jorge, i'm mostly obsessed with oscar's reactions to his performance at the rollercoaster that was spa 2021 and the fact that he's been so vocally appreciate of george "outperforming" the car he was in. the 2 instances of the word HERO on his twitter:

and then this quote in an interview he did in 2022:

"[Success] is definitely not just defined by just world championships, and if you can outperform the car that you're in—I think George Russell has been a very fine example of that in years previous, you know, constantly getting the most out of that Williams and of course Spa. (laughs) Bit controversial, but he got a podium at the end of the day! And even without that, he qualified second, he outqualified everyone except Max in a Williams, which, you know, is an unbelievable result."

also george being the only f1 driver (i think) to tweet him for his f2 title :saluting_face:

AND ALSO THEM SHARING THE ANECDOTE OF THEIR AWKWARD FIRST MEETING ON THE FAST & CURIOUS POD??? aka oscar was told in his april 2023 ep that they were going to interview george next and he was like oh ok you can ask him about our "slightly left-field introduction," and then they had george on who was like oh yeah i met oscar for the first time washing our hands together in the bathroom on our way to the ausgp in 2020 😭 what a way to meet.

[not-poignant]

I didn't understand how it was possible to be doing so much work, and I'm glad you're finally taking a break ❤️

To be fair, I am lucky that I type very fast! I've had an awful lot of practice writing and so I'm faster at it than someone who is starting out or even someone who is 5 years into a writing career.

That being said, I have no idea how I was doing so much work as well. Prior to 2023 it was normal for me to only be working on 2-3 stories at a time (with around 5-8 chapters a week max, and my main story updated only once every 2 weeks). Not the amount I'm doing now. Things exploded with Underline the Black and my lack of impulse control (as well as the appeal of offering side stories) meant I started up two more stories alongside it. Then calm Palmarosa and Constellations and suddenly I had a lot on my plate that I felt like I had to be regularly committed to.

I was pretty burnt out prior to getting Toby (our puppy), so on that side of things, I was a little too ambitious in thinking I'd be able to juggle everything.

I have known that like, once certain side stories finish, my schedule quietens down and I think what I've been hoping for is like 'just hold out until this finishes, and then this finishes, and then this finishes. Just hold out.' But my stories take some time to complete, and 'just holding out' means sometimes waiting 1-2 years.

So yeah instead of doing that I'm going to try something sooner. I was doing the week break from Underline the Black in 2024 but it just hasn't been enough.

So like, I am very lucky I type fast! When I'm comfortable, I'll always be prolific to the point that at least some people will be like 'I don't know how you do that' - a lot of that is just experience. My typing speed is around 120-140 words per minute and I can comfortably finish a 3,000 word chapter in about 2 hours (with room to think / imagine what is coming next etc. and pausing to reread sections for clarity). Sometimes faster. Sometimes slower if the chapter is challenging. On very good days, I can write 2 chapters in a day. The last time I had a day like that was March 11th.

Editing takes me a lot longer though, and weirdly so do things like the Birthday Spotlights. I think I really underestimated how much time each one would take to do in terms of the graphics + hyperlinks + finding quotes etc.

I'm still going to be writing here and there over the next two months. But even just an update/posting hiatus and a slow down will help an indescribably amount. The reality is I haven't actually done very much at all this April and I still feel very overwhelmed (even more so because I knew I was running down my buffer of chapters for May/June), so taking the next step, and hope that's enough!

The good news is I've taken hiatuses before and I've always come back afterwards raring to go, and I'm hoping that's the case now too. :)

[chaifootsteps]

Maybe I'm misremembering (several disorders that cause memory issues will do that to you) but didn't you. Make a post that addressed the things everyone on Twitter is upset about now? Like, *you* brought this stuff up, talked about it openly, but they're treating it like it was this shocking, big secret. Did I miss something? Or is it really as simple as people (as per usual) not really paying attention to where/when/how the information they're using is coming to light?

Maybe because of how long I've been in fandom spaces (been ten years! A whole decade!) I've sort of learned to check who exactly I'm getting information from, but I guess no one else really... Learned to do that? I swear, this sudden implosion wouldn't have been happening if people just... Paid attention.

Sorry if this is rambling at all, I'm just... Baffled. I haven't even been sticking around your blog that long (roughly 2-3 months? Maybe longer) but the stuff everyone's getting up in arms about has been *known* to me. I thought everyone else *also* knew this. I've sent a few asks by now, so I've been around the block here.

Anyways. Long ask, hope you don't mind, but it seems you get a lot of long asks. I may dislike some of the things you ship, but... I dunno. I used to ship ZaDr when I was, what, eight or nine? And I'd be willing to bet some of the people up in arms with you right now also have a few skeletons in their closet, so I'm not putting much stock in the moral high ground they're touting. Just... Hang in there, weather the storm. I know you say you're tough and all that, but a little encouragement never hurt anyone.

It's pretty baffling, and your guess is as good as mine. It's like no, I've never been (or wanted to be) the place in the Viv critical world you go to talk about Viv's bathtub snakes like they're the worst thing she's ever done. That's down the hall and to the right. I'm the unrepentant monsterfucker who's good at keeping receipts and secrets, and have periodically defended Viv's weirder fictional tastes because I don't think they're that big of a deal.

Guarantee you the people up in arms about me have skeletons in their own closets, and not even well-hidden ones. Norry likes Beetlebabes, noncon, and Pentious's feral snake dongs. Artsy's got not one, but two callout videos. I just had someone quote retweet me calling me weird, and then their timeline was full of half-nude, humanized Mickey Mouse art, complete with treasure trail.

Thanks for the encouragement. Would you believe that this isn't the worst rodeo I've endured?

[palettepainter]

GENERAL + COMMISSIONS UPDATE

*Trigger warnings for mentions of depression and mental health overall, read at your own caution*

I have now been working at my new job for just over three weeks now, and while I've settled into the routine, I'm not someone who does especially well with change or other sensory variables such as unexpected noise (which at my work place there can be quite a few). This often leaves me quite exhausted after my shifts, so there is a likely chance there will be a longer wait time on commissions going forward. I don't like to leave people waiting on commissions, so I'm sorry in advance for this, but to prevent from burning myself out from overworking myself sadly this is what needs to be done in order for me to not get overwhelmed, and for my commissions to be finished to the best of my ability

Second order of business relating to commissions! My commissions for May are now closed! Commissions will be opening again in June as per usual, and then in July there will be limited slots. I'll be going away with family again in July to see other relatives, so slots will be limited. When we're closer to July I'll have a clearer idea of how much free time I'll have and how much of it I can reasonable dedicate to commissions

And lastly, on a slightly more serious note, I haven't been doing great..

I had a mental health related phone call at the start of the week, which I knew I would be having, but it was a lot more stressful and saddening then I thought it would be. It's put a lot more questions in my head then it has answers, has opened up the possibility of medication (something I have tried once for anxiety, but stopped once my parents found out), and has even put new possibilities for why I feel the way I do/have that has completely altered the way I now view myself and the way I've been carrying myself for over the past ten years

When I first learnt about depression it was shown as this big scary thing that only really really sad people with horrible lives could have, and so growing up, I didn't think I would ever fall into that group of people. It's a word that's been on my mind for a few years now, but it's never been something I've sought a diagnosis for. Ontop of not having a support circle in place, my parents also have - in a blunt way - a very narrow view of what depression is and who can have it. There views can be summed up as "This person went through something really really bad and now they have depression" so depression has also never been a word I've ever felt safe to really bring into the conversation with my parents (as well as other, more serious mental health issues)

The last time I ever spoke to my parents about mental health, I was told that I had "the easiest fucking life", and that's something I've carried for nearly 8 years. It's the biggest reason why I haven't really sought out a lot of professional help until last year, and even then I still believed I didn't really have it bad enough beyond very high anxiety

The call I had said that depression could very well be a possibility...and that really hurt to hear

I don't know if it was my parents, if it was my teachers at school, if it's the whole image we've built around depression that you need to be "broken" in order to be depressed - but being told I had the easiest life, being told indirectly I didn't have it bad enough, going all these years building up walls and rules and routines and all the emotions with it thinking I didn't have it bad enough.

To then be told I maybe COULD have been depressed all this time kind of fucks with your head

(I do want to make this especially clear that you don't need to have it "bad enough" in order to be depressed, anxious or with any other mental issue/disorder. Yes you can be in a bad situation, or go through a bad situation/s, but there is no ultimate "bad enough" scenario.)

If I've been posting random, small vent-ish related posts (I made one about gathering incorrect quotes for OC's as a form of self care recently) it's because outside of my socials it's been a very scary and confusing week. Home and my family are not places or people I feel emotionally safe to talk to about these issues, hence why I had the phone call in the first place, but obviously I can't be on the phone talking to a doctor/professional all the time, so any confusion, bitterness or any other feeling that's bringing me down I've been focusing on my art. I've been thinking it's not good enough lately, or it's not getting as many likes or comments compared to other artists, or that people don't like it at all

I have another phone call scheduled in the next few months, and with what I was told from the first one I had, I'm very anxious for the second one. This is something I'm doing entirely on my own, the reason I'm even writing as much as I am is because my tumblr is the only place in which no body from my family knows of. This is an update yes but it's also a way for me to unload everything that I've been wanting to talk about without directly putting myself in an awkward situation at home.

Hopefully, if anyone with similar experiences is reading, could you offer some advice? Or just reassurance?? I'd really like to know that this isn't a unique experience and that other people have gone through this and survived. This is all very scary and new, I might come back and censor or cutt all of this later, I don't really know how to end this off neatly after such a heavy update, but yeah.

Art may be slow, I've been posting for the sake of posting mostly because I don't want to leave you guys with nothing for who knows how long. But I think I might take a break from posting/messaging for a few days, I truthfully don't feel great, and that's not an attitude I want to have when I'm creating

If you made it to the end of the post thank you for reading this far and sorry it was a bit of a downer

[thewriterlyowl]

"I did kiss [other guy] last night, in a moment when my emotions were running so high. But I’m sure he doesn’t remember it. Does he? I hope not. If he does, everything will just get complicated and I really can’t think about kissing when I’ve got a rebellion to incite. I give my head a little shake to clear it. “Where’s Peeta?”

per your last post, could you gift us an essay explaining katniss's subconscious in this quote??

👀👀👀

Apologies for the delay @thesmileykate ! I wasn't ignoring you, I was jet lagged.

I guess maybe I should have said Katniss' subconscious throughout this whole section, because I tend to think of her subconscious between the tour and the quell as one long thought process, but anyway, here goes.

Katniss subconscious is my MVP of this series, for a lot of reasons - most importantly, that it always guides her actions, desires and hopes even if (especially if) she's saying or even doing something else. You see it a lot throughout the series, but it's very heavy in CF because she's falling in love with Peeta but being pulled in so many directions. Also, she's an unreliable narrator.

So, in this bit, Katniss is thinking about her kiss with Other Guy, after he's been whipped for "stealing" and he's in so much pain he's passed out. Katniss apologises for screaming at her mother for not giving Other Guy more painkillers, and she says "you seen what people are like, when someone they love is in pain". This sends our girl into a tailspin, and I love it.

First, the rebellion. Katniss has just spent pages upon pages telling herself that its right to stay and fight rather than run away, and berates herself because in Other Guy's eyes she was a scared and selfish girl "made in the Capitol". She puts herself in Other Guy's position, and despises the phantom girl that he's promising to marry when she imagines their situations are reversed. She's so overcome with it, with the whipping, with the Capitol forcing her marriage to Peeta that she says "I have chosen the [Other Guy] and the rebellion, and a future with Peeta is the Capitol's design, not mine". Because she is being pushed in one direction, she's gaslighting telling herself that choosing the other is rebelling.

But then she says "I really can't think about kissing when I've got a rebellion to incite". Fair enough. But does she think about Other Guy? Like, even in the context of how to get the rebellion started? No. She asks for Peeta (more on that in a minute). Because even though she says Other Guy is a "born rebel", she doesn't articulate anything that he could do for the cause. There's some vague stuff about fighting back in this section, but she says that Peeta is the one who could move a crowd to action. Because even though Katniss doesn't get it until she decides to die to keep Peeta alive, her subconscious knows that the true act of rebellion under the Capitol is empathy. It is "I will go through hell to save you". It is giving a starving girl bread, singing a dying girl a song to ease her on her journey. No, Katniss can't think about Other Guy as a lover, but even she already knows, on some level, that he doesn't inspire her the same way Peeta does.

Second, let's talk about the kissing. After she convinces herself that it's her fault that Other Guy got whipped and that she therefore owes him affection, she kisses him. Then she falls asleep. Is found by Peeta, and is told to go to bed. Then when she wakes up, she immediately wishes he's forgotten about it. Which means it's taken her two naps and a shower to get to wanting to forget about kissing Other Guy. Obvious enough, right? But Katniss specifically refers to her moment with Other Guy as "kissing". Katniss' mother was specifically talk about love. When she kisses Peeta, she talks about his warmth, his steadiness, how he comforts her. Even when she isn't sure about whether she loves him or not, she acknowledges that she gets more from him than just make out sessions. Other Guy's romantic overtures are brought on by obligation and then Katniss reduces them to physicality. To merely "kissing". Which, of course, does not a connection make. Even in MJ, their first kiss tastes like "heat, ashes and misery", and their second reminds her she's alive as long as she's not looking at him! Other Guy can only give her physicality and companionship and he does his level best to destroy even that.

Also, she says she can't think about kissing and then immediately wants to know where Peeta is. Guess who's thinking about kissing?

Finally, let's talk about Katniss' specificity. She frequently runs away from her emotions even as her loved ones, Panem, and us as the audience can see what she's feeling. This is because Katniss is afraid of romantic love. She tells us this all the time. Which is why even though she's saying she's choosing Other Guy, her subconscious is drawing a line in the sand by saying she wants him to forget about their kiss and she doesn't want to think about it. She's giving herself the excuse of the rebellion, but thats not it. Her subconscious gives her the feeling of not wanting Other Guy, and Katniss renames it as wanting to concentrate on the rebellion.

This is in contrast with Peeta. When she kisses him for the first time in CF, even as she ruminates on the situation with Snow threatening Other Guy, that he brings warmth and steadiness to everything. On stage after his speech, the kiss doesn't feel forced. And in between all of that, she constantly wants him around, and has to remind herself that, per my first point, "she isn't supposed to want that". Her subconscious gives her the feeling of wanting Peeta, and she rationalises it as wanting comfort or even that she's just used to his presence. Or she doesn't acknowledge it at all.

When Katniss cannot properly articulate her romantic feelings, its because she's protecting herself from the vulnerability of love, which is why she dances around how she feels about Peeta until he's taken from her.

This was hellaciously long and I could have cleaned it up a bit more, but I think all of that made sense. That section tickles me on every reread because Katniss is such a teenager about it but she's being so obvious. I know Mrs. Everdeen got a kick out of watching her beautiful, stubborn, wildly clueless daughter falling in love with her "Mr. Everdeen"...who turned out to be a baker.

(Also Suzanne definitely paralleled Mr E bringing Mrs E gifts everyday with Peeta bringing Katniss cheese buns and Mrs E definitely noticed! Also what did Other Guy ever gift her but stress)

[woman-for-women]

How do you make your infographics if I can ask, and how long does it normally take you to design, do the research, find what quotes you like, etc. I’m very interested in making my own, especially about the drag queen issue but I struggle with adhd and staying on task and get unmotivated easily.

What I use to make Infographics/Posts

You don’t need anything fancy to make infographics! I’m familiar with Adobe InDesign and the Adobe design suite, but those tools are expensive and are hard to learn.

I use Canva to make my material. I don’t pay for their premium account, so my account is completely free! It gives you templates and design elements to work with. I really like Canva because it helps me quickly design and post material.

How long does it take?

Making posts with just a quote usually takes me 5 minutes per post, so they're pretty fast to make.

My infographic posts take the longest to make. My Intersex and Sex Binary posts took me over 30 hours to research, plan, compile, write, design, and edit. Some smaller infographics like Transmasculine Individuals and Binding took ~4 hours.

A lot of the time is spent on the research stage. The good news is I've compiled a lot of my research into this ~300-page master document! It's full of studies and facts, grouped by topic as a resource for other women. It's so big I've really only scraped the surface in terms of what I've been able to adapt so far.

Feel free to take a look for yourself if you want to make your own posts/material, or if you're just curious! If you're interested in making posts about any of the topics listed, this might help shorten your research. I've also named/linked all my sources, so you can click the hyperlinked sources or Google the name of the study and read the whole thing if it interests you.

Work Process & Motivation

I also struggle with motivation and finishing projects. The key (for me) is to organizing my digital workspace.

If I see a statistic or study that interests me, I stick it into my masterdoc. If I see a Tumblr post with an interesting idea, quote, or fact, I save the post as a draft

When I have time, I go through my drafts and pick a few posts I feel like adapting.

On Canva, you can search for keywords like "Instagram Post", "Instagram Story" or "Quote" and Canva will give you suggested templates.

I have a Canva document saved of a bunch of templates I want to use for quotes, for example (you may recognize some of the backgrounds/fonts from my posts):

When I pick a quote I like, I copy and paste the template square into a blank page on my document where I keep all my quotes and I just edit the text and mess around with the design elements until I'm satisfied.

I can then easily export my posts!

My process for infographics is similar. I search "Infographic" and save infographic templates I like, then just add in the information when I have the time and motivation.

I get demotivated sometimes, so it helps to do a lot of posts back-to-back when I'm motivated and have time. I then add the posts to my Tumblr queue, so my blog is posting daily, even on days or weeks when I don't have the time, energy, or motivation to make material.

I know online activism can get really tiring and it can be easy to burn out. Stickering, flyering, reading feminist/woman-centered books to educate yourself, signing petitions and writing letters, meeting with like-minded women, and volunteering for women's shelters/causes are great ways to help women in real life that don't feel as impersonal as a Tumblr blog. If there's a topic you're passionate about, make that infographic or post, but also think about what you can do in real life to advocate for or advance the cause!

I find mailing women radical feminist stickers (which you can order for free here!) is a great way to remind myself that I'm not alone and there are other women like me. Every envelope I pack makes me feel really connected to other women. I also work for an organization that helps women in the Global South and try to read feminist books in my spare time.

TL;DR - Use Canva, spread the word, and try to help women in real life!

[fratboykate]

Celebrity!Kate and Bodyguard!Yelena after the ten years when they're happy. Please, Papi. We've had enough angst the last few days.

---

Kate giving birth in kybgau and Yelena being her usual neurotic self?

---

Okay but papi 🥺🥺🥺 remember the very first post introducing us to this wonderful thing called the kybgau? You said there was a lot of material like and I quote: “RED CARPETS WITH YELENA?! A comedy. YELENA IN A ROOM FULL OF DUMB ACTORS DRUNK AT AN AFTERPARTY?!” and “But also the albums Kate writes about her and the corny acceptance speeches thanking her???” Can we—can we have that now? Please? Papi? 🥺

---

kybgau - pain idea: Kate really struggles with the concept that Yelena would rather be anywhere but in the spotlight. Countless red carpets; parties; charity events; and Kate wants a little Russian on her arm for all of them and she has a hard time taking no for an answer or understanding that Yelena is uncomfortable with being in front of cameras all the time.

///

Okay, this is like a mega prompt combo. Here's 7.3k of fluff...

---

“Just tell me what you want.” Yelena hastily stuffs her keys, wallet, and phone into the pockets of her form-fitting joggers. She's ready to head out the door.

“I could use the ride. And seeing people.”

Yelena scans the dresser, ensuring she hasn't forgotten anything, before turning and making her way to where Kate stands. Kate - dressed in casual maternity sweatpants and a hoodie, her hair pulled back in a ponytail, and her face free of makeup - rests her hands on either side of her swollen, thirty-nine-week pregnant belly as she gazes at Yelena. With the baby due any moment, Kate looks like she's about to burst.

“We’re going to the show tonight. You’ll get a ride there and back. And plenty of people. You should rest now.”

Kate’s smile grows with every word.

“So I’m only allowed out of the house once a day? Like a puppy you take on a walk?”

“Exactly. One big, reckless, loud puppy. Well…two puppies.” Yelena glances down at Kate’s stomach and Kate beams in response.

“I want to come.” Kate insists, almost whiney.

“It’s so much simpler if I go. I can do it alone. If you come, I have to get a pair of guys for a follow car and…”

“We’re going to get coffee. We don’t need two guys in a follow car.” Kate interrupts.

“They’re there in case anything happens.” Yelena retorts, serious.

“We’re going a mile down the road...to a coffee shop. What would happen?”

“It’s my job to make sure nothing does.”

“Are you going to be this neurotic until the baby falls out of me?”

“If the baby is falling out of you, I can guarantee I’ll be even more 'neurotic' because that doesn’t sound like it should happen.”

Kate chuckles and steps closer to the blonde, then gently drapes her arms over her shoulders and smiles.

“I need to get out of the house. I’m going stir crazy.”

“We’re going out tonight.”

“In like…eight hours. I’m stir crazy now.”

Yelena stares at Kate.

"Why do you make my life so difficult?"

Kate's teasing grin spreads wider as she leans into Yelena.

"Do I?"

"No doubt."

Yelena's eyes initially roll but can’t help the smile that tugs at the corner of her lips. After a beat of staring at each other, Kate turns on her heels and heads for the door.

"Come on. Let's go. Baby needs her coffee."

"Decaf."

"I'm allowed two cups per day. I've had zero cups."

"Caffeine can lead to low birth weight..."

Kate starts interrupting and rebuffing all of Yelena's points.

"They think she's almost nine pounds. For my vag's sake, she could do with losing a bit of weight."

"...Not funny. It can affect her brain..."

"That's what she's got your genes for. Perfect, smart, cranky brain."

"It could reduce her blood supply, inhibit growth, and make her lethargic."

"She's been kicking my kidneys like she's got a vendetta against them for about three hours, so I wouldn't mind her being a little lethargic."

"Kate."

"That’s my name, yes." Kate responds playfully. Yelena grunts in frustration.

As they approach the stairs, Yelena quickens her pace and takes the lead, extending her hand for Kate to hold.

"Railing. Hand on railing."

Kate can't help but roll her eyes at the familiar routine, but she complies, takes Yelena's hand, and holds onto the railing with the other, following closely behind her as they descend the steps. Yelena moves with confidence, always one step ahead of Kate, making sure they both stay safe.

"I've gone up and down these stairs thousands of times."

"And it only takes one time for something bad to happen."

"You're being crazy." Kate can’t resist poking fun at Yelena’s anxiety.

"I'm being cautious and having foresight." Yelena counters.

"That's a lot of words to say 'crazy'...Can I drive?"

"Absolutely not."

"Why not?"

"I'm trained in evasive techniques. You're not."

"We're going A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. To a coffee shop that only serves vegan pastries and milk alternatives? What are we trying to evade? Gluten and dairy?"

"I'm driving."

"Can't blame me for trying.”

"You’re impossible, Kate Bishop.”

They hit the bottom of the stairs, Yelena still in front and Kate behind her. Kate takes advantage of their closeness, holding Yelena from behind and pressing a series of kisses to her neck as they clumsily walk forward as one conjoined blob. Yelena melts into the embrace, momentarily forgetting her neuroses and everpresent concerns for Kate and their daughter’s safety.

"My crazy, crazy Russian." Kate presses another kiss to Yelena's neck and murmurs into her ear. "Я тебя обожаю" ["I adore you."]

Yelena and Kate step outside, with Kate still holding onto Yelena as the blonde takes measured steps, scanning the surroundings for any hazards. Two of Yelena's guards stationed in the yard immediately approach them.

"Morning." One of the employees pleasantly greets them.

"Morning, Lang. We're going to Grinders. You and Kaplan follow."

Yelena opens the door for Kate, making sure she's comfortable in the passenger seat.

"No 'follow'. No need for that. Do you guys want anything? We can bring you something back." Kate leans out the door and offers with a friendly tone.

Lang eyes Yelena, who remains perfectly stoic, before replying.

“No, ma'am. We’re good. Thanks. We'll get the car."

"Don't. Don't get the car. We'll be back in fifteen."

Lang glances at Yelena, who rolls her eyes and shakes her head, silently indicating that they should back down. She's got this. Yelena hops into the driver's seat and starts the SUV.

"Seatbelt." Yelena reminds Kate as she puts the car in reverse.

She won't move the car until Kate buckles up. Kate shakes her head and smirks while buckling up, making the whole process theatrical and exaggerated. Yelena huffs, exasperated by Kate's antics.

The guy manning the gate opens it, and Yelena skillfully drives the car onto the street. As they hit the road, a car parked a few houses down starts tailing them. Two men with professional cameras sit in the car, eagerly waiting to capture the first photos of global sensation Kate Bishop's baby.

---

The instant they step out of the car the paparazzo in the passenger seat promptly jumps out of the sedan and begins recording, bombarding Kate with questions.

"Good morning, ladies. Great day to get coffee. When are your fans getting that new album, Kate?"

The camera lens is less than two feet from Kate's face, so Yelena rushes around the car and rams herself between the videographer and the younger woman. Yelena reaches out for Kate's hand and clasps it tightly as she drives them forward to the entrance of the coffee shop. She extends the other hand, using it to block the man's camera lens and force him to back off.

"Give her space, man.” Yelena orders firmly.

The paparazzo laughs dismissively. The driver of the car has clumsily double parked and runs to join the man with his photo camera. He moves even closer to Kate than the first guy.

"Who are you going to give the newborn photoshoot to? Have you decided? Your fans are curious when they're going to see the baby."

Yelena glares at the guy directly across from her and pushes him forcefully without saying a word.

“Why are you acting like her security? You still on the payroll?"

"Because you're acting like a fucking prick. Back off." Yelena grits through her teeth.

"We're doing our job. We just wanna take a photo or two."

"Back off before I make you." Yelena almost growls at the men. Kate decides it’s time to intervene before things get out of hand.

"Okay. She hasn't had her coffee yet. Which she will, if you guys let us through. Please."

Kate speaks kindly and smiles at them, giving them the one good shoot they think they can sell. The paparazzi exchange a look before reluctantly taking a step back, still holding their cameras at the ready.

"We like you, Kate. You're the nice one. She's the rude one."

"If you're still here by the time we get out, you'll learn how rude I really am." Yelena threatens.

Kate softly chuckles as they step into the coffee shop.

---

Upon entering the quaint and charming mom-and-pop cafe, all eyes are on Kate and Yelena, and hushed murmurs instantly fill the air. Despite the attention from patrons, the staff remains unfazed. They recognize the pair as regulars and are accustomed to seeing them here often. A brief and discreet debate about regular coffee versus decaf takes place at the register. Kate ultimately gets her way and settles on her go-to: a pour-over made with Ethiopian Yirgacheffe beans, almond milk, a dash of hazelnut syrup, and cinnamon sprinkled on top. She also indulges in an assortment of enough delectable pastries to feed a small army, including almond flour muffins with blueberries, vegan gluten-free apple cider donuts, scones with lemon glaze, chocolate cake with avocado frosting, and cherry pie bars. Yelena prefers her coffee strong and black, so she gets her usual: dark roast with no sugar or cream.

After placing their order, Yelena leads them to a table to wait for their drinks and treats to be prepared. She pulls out a chair for Kate.

"You sit." Kate tells the blonde.

"You're going to be on your feet for a while tonight. Sit."

"I never said I wasn't going to, but you sit. Then I'll sit on you."

Yelena half huffs, half groans before reluctantly taking a seat. Kate wastes no time and settles herself onto Yelena's lap before wrapping her arm around the older woman’s neck. Yelena's hand instinctively finds its way to Kate's abdomen, feeling the chaotic movements of their unborn child under her palm. Triggered by Yelena’s touch, Kate’s fingers begin caressing slow circles on the blonde’s robust shoulders, causing her to shiver involuntarily.

“Kate, tone it down. We’re in public.” Yelena whispers, glancing nervously around the café.

Kate simply chuckles and nuzzles her face into Yelena's neck.

"Let 'em stare. Who cares? You're mine and I like to show you off." Kate whispers into Yelena’s ear before playfully nibbling on her earlobe.

Yelena pulls her head away and scowls at Kate. Too far. Despite her reservations and mild hatred of PDA, Yelena can't help but feel a sense of warmth and safety in Kate's embrace.

"They were being nice." Yelena looks at her, confused. "The guys. They're some of the nice ones. Don't make their jobs hard."

"Stalking you isn't a job. And they were being invasive...If the follow car..."

Kate cuts her off with a dramatic groan, leaning in to kiss the side of Yelena's head.

"They backed off the moment I gave them a good picture. That's all they want. Is it ideal? No. We just gotta work with it."

"Or I could break their cameras and they'd be too scared to come back." Yelena suggests, half-jokingly.

Kate chuckles.

"No breaking anyone's things. My lawyer would not be happy about that."

"I would." Yelena tells her with a smirk.

"I know you would. You're a little rage machine. Like this one..."

Kate places her free hand over Yelena's and shifts it slightly so she can feel where the baby is currently kicking.

"Woh. That was a strong one."

"Very much looking forward to her being lethargic." Kate tells her with a playful smile.

"It's not funny."

"Your reactions make it a little funny."

"You live to push my buttons. I know."

"I live to make you RELAX."

One of the servers approaches them with a bag and two to-go cups.

"Hope you enjoy! See you next time."

"Thank you." Kate takes her beverage and the bag, leaving Yelena to grab her cup. Kate takes a long sip, but Yelena doesn't drink hers. Kate looks at her. "I need you to have your coffee so you don't kill someone outside." Kate takes another gulp of her drink and stares at Yelena, who eventually relents. "You want to eat here? We can stay?"

"No. We have a big night. You need to take it easy.”

"Why are you treating me like I'll snap in half any second?” Kate complains, evidently vexed now.

"I'm not."

"You are. And frankly, it's a little condescending and a lot annoying."

Kate stands with a groan and makes her way to the door. Yelena follows close behind while the curious onlookers stare. Yelena’s neck grows red and hot as she can feel the weight of everyone's eyes on them.

"Kate. Kate, wait."

"I can handle opening my own door." Kate snaps as she pushes the door and exits.

The paparazzi are not far and spring back into action, swarming them anew.

"Did the coffee help?" The older man asks, trying to start a conversation.

Kate, her mood now soured, doesn't answer.

"I guess not." The other paparazzo remarks snarkily

"What are your thoughts on America's new girlfriend? The internet is saying she looks like you. Do you agree? Do you think she's not over you? Do you think she’s trying to copy your style?"

Yelena opens the door to the SUV, allowing Kate to slip inside without having to utter another word. Yelena closes the door and glares at the guys.

"What do you think? Do you think Kate and Ramone look alike?" The man points the camera at Yelena.

Yelena starts the car and revs the engine, eager to leave the paparazzi and their annoying questions behind. She maneuvers the car out of the parking lot and onto the busy streets. As she drives, she keeps an eye on the rearview mirror and notices the paparazzi following them, evidently determined to get a picture or a comment.

Yelena's grip on the steering wheel tightens as she navigates through traffic, trying to shake them off. She takes a few quick turns, hoping to lose the tail, but they persistently follow them.

“They’re going to end up at the house regardless. Stop getting yourself worked up about it.” Kate places her hand on Yelena’s thigh and squeezes reassuringly before having another sip of her coffee.

Yelena nods, taking a steadying breath. She focuses on the road ahead, determined to get them to their destination safely and away from the paparazzi's prying eyes.

---

Yelena crosses the security gate into the driveway, parks the SUV in front of the mansion, and steps out as the gate closes. She can see the paparazzi in the car across the street, rubbernecking her. She fixes her gaze on one of the guys. He lifts his camera and snaps her picture through the last sliver of open space before the gate closes.

“Richards, get rid of those idiots. And until further notice, I want at least one of you patrolling the street every couple hours. Make sure none of those leeches are hanging around. Call the cops if you have to."

"Yes, ma'am." With a nod, Richards scurries off to follow Yelena's orders.

In the time it takes Yelena to give those directions, Kate has vanished into the house. Yelena walks in to find her hurrying up the stairs without holding onto the railing.

"Kate, you..."

"I would suggest you don't finish that sentence." Kate cuts her off, fuming.

Kate keeps moving, ignoring Yelena’s pleas to slow down. Yelena chases. Kate storms into their bedroom and turns to face the trailing Yelena.

"You don't think I can take care of myself, do you? Or her, for that matter. Are you going to hire someone to look over my shoulder whenever I'm with her to make sure I'm not fucking it up?"

"What? Of course I don't believe that. The thought has never crossed my mind. You're going to be an amazing mom."

"Then start acting like it."

Yelena steels herself, trying to guard her vulnerability.

"I'm trying to make sure you're safe."

After a beat, Kate drops her shoulder and walks over to Yelena.

"And I love you for it. I do. So much. But you're suffocating me. Sometimes you also make me question my sanity. I need you to trust that I wouldn't do anything that would put her at risk. Okay?"

"You can be careless, Kate."

Kate's lips curl up in a sly grin.

"Only sometimes…and within reason."

"More than sometimes.” Yelena rebuffs.

"Trust me."

"I do."

"Then stop being insane please." Yelena grumbles under her breath. "I'll let you hold my hand going down the stairs, but you have to chill it with the rest."

"I can TRY." Yelena tells her, frowning.

"Good." Kate pulls her toward the bed. “Now come nap with me."

"We JUST had coffee."

"She kept me up half the night. I'm exhausted. Nap with me...I'll let you get a little handsy if you ask nicely." Kate teases with a naughty tone. Yelena smiles and shakes her head.

"I have to go work out. I won't have time later."

"Ooooh...can I watch? That sounds more fun than sleeping. You look yummy when you're all sweaty."

Yelena nudges Kate onto the mattress.

"Sleep. You have some time before it gets crazy."

"Sleep with me." Kate pleads with a pout.

"I'll go work out, shower, and if you're still sleeping, I'll get in bed with you. Deal?"

"But I'll be asleep. I won't know you're napping with me. Why don't you get in bed now, then go do other stuff after I fall asleep?"

Yelena sighs and slips off her shoes, incapable of resisting a Kate Bishop request.

"You can't get mad if I wake you up when I'm trying to get out of bed."

"I won't. Promise."

Yelena lies down on her side of the bed, hoping to get comfortable, but before she can do so, Kate scoots over and throws her leg (and most of her body) over Yelena's. This new position causes Yelena to bear almost three-quarters of Kate's weight, making it onerous for her to move or adjust.

"This is going to make getting up later very difficult."

"No idea what you're talking about."

Kate smiles contentedly against Yelena's chest while Yelena lets out a dramatic exhale, realizing she has fallen into Kate's trap. She plants a soft kiss on the top of Kate's head and wraps her arms around her, one over her shoulder and the other around her belly. After a beat, Yelena feels a solid kick through Kate's stomach.

"That was a good one."

"You felt it?"

"Yeah."

"It's like she's opposed to me laying down. Starts going crazy every time I do. I think it pisses her off or something."

Yelena chuckles and starts running her hands up and down the side of Kate's stomach.

"Давайте сделаем сделку. Дай ей поспать сейчас, а я позволю тебе... я не знаю... чего ты хочешь? Мы могли бы договориться об условиях позже?" ["Let's make a deal. You let her sleep now and I'll let you...I don't know...what do you want? We could agree to terms later?"]

The baby delivers two consecutive, strong kicks, causing Kate to hiss in pain.

"Ow! What are you saying? She's clearly not liking it." Kate complains.

"That's confidential." Yelena switches back to Russian. "Ты выставляешь меня здесь в плохом свете. Работай со мной. Сделай это сейчас, а мы с тобой уладим это позже. У нас будет много времени." ["You're making me look bad here. Work with me. Do this now and you and I can settle it later. We'll have plenty of time."]

The kicking suddenly stops. They both hold, staying immobile for a long moment, trying to see if it will recommence...but it doesn't.

"I think she liked that better." Kate mumbles into Yelena's shirt with a smirk, her voice sleepy.

"She's a hard bargain. I know who she gets it from." Yelena quips.

Kate tilts her head to look up at Yelena with a goofy, sleepy smile.

"Were you negotiating with her?"

"As I said, that's confidential."

"You're very cute. VERY grumpy, but cute."

"I'm not." Yelena replies grumpily.

"Let's hope she doesn't have your temper, or we're in trouble."

"У тебя есть мой характер, сколько хочешь. Наш нрав в порядке." ["You have my temper all you want. Our temper is fine."] Yelena grumbles as she caresses Kate's extended midriff.

Kate's breathing eventually evens out, but the smile remains on her face. After a long moment, Yelena realizes that Kate has fallen asleep. She pauses, then cautiously attempts to move out from under the weight of the dozing brunette with measured movements. Suddenly, as she tries to shift, the baby kicks again. HARD. Yelena feels a second equally solid kick, causing her to momentarily stop and hold her breath.

"Хорошо. Хорошо. Я слышу тебя. Я никуда не поеду. Я останусь." ["Okay. Okay. I hear you. I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay."] Yelena whispers in reassurance to the baby, her voice soft and gentle.

Yelena tries to resist falling asleep, but after some time, she eventually succumbs to slumber. They sleep soundly in each other's arms for a few hours, unaware that this would be the last time they would nap together as a family of two.

—

The house is madness. The energy is frenzied and there’s an endless flurry of activity, as it typically happens on award show days. Kate is perched in a comfy, plush chair while her team buzzes around her, attending to her every need while they get her glammed up. Kate’s focus gets yanked from the amiable conversation when her lower back spasms. She winces and shifts positions trying to find relief from the discomfort. Kate assumes she must have slept poorly because her back has been cramping and sore since she woke up. Kate's stylist hands Kate a champagne flute and starts pouring champagne. Kate looks at her, perplexed.

"Zero alc. Duh. Totally safe. Cheers..." The stylist toasts, tapping Kate’s flute with the bottle. "To the last one before the little princess gets here."

"Cheers." Kate smiles and takes a sip.

"Anyone wanna go in on a $20 bet that Yelena loses it if she sees Kate with a flute in her hand?" The hairstylist asks.

"Make it $50." The make-up artist retorts.

As if on cue, Yelena walks in, looking sweaty and breathing heavily.

"When do you..." She stops in her tracks, her expression quickly turning to horror when she sees Kate with the flute. "Kate..."

For an instant, everyone looks at each other in stunned silence, as if Kate has been caught doing something terrible. Then...they all crack up simultaneously.

"It's non-alcoholic, isn't it?" Yelena presses, thinking out loud.

"It's non-alcoholic." Kate confirms, still chuckling.

"Right...What time do you need me again?" Yelena doesn’t dwell, clearly embarrassed.

Kate glances up at her hairstylist, the same one who will be doing an intricate braid on Yelena's hair later.

"An hour, maybe?" The hairstylist responds.

"Okay. Should I change before or after?"

"After, babe." Kate offers a tender smile.

"Yeah. Okay. I'll go shower." Yelena walks off.

"She's seen you get ready for how many shows? And she's still asking if she should change before or after her hair." The stylist adds, amused.

"She'll never get the hang of it. But ask her what kind of rounds some weird gun no one's ever heard of uses and she'll tell you."

"You could've had anyone in the world, and that's who you went with..." The nail tech jokes.

"Might not seem like it, but it was an easy choice." Kate replies, laughing.

As they continue to prep for the ceremony, everyone jokes and laughs, making Kate forget about her back pain and any other worries. It's the last awards show of the season, and it is likely also her last event in general for a while, so Kate is determined to enjoy the moment.

---

The Academy Awards are the pinnacle of glamour and excitement in the entertainment industry. It’s the biggest night of the year. It's hectic and outlandish and there are people everywhere. Kate and Yelena sit in the back of the SUV, waiting for their moment to step out onto the red carpet. Kate looks ravishing in a long, flowing green chiffon dress with a pleated bodice and a low-cut V-neck that shows off her pregnancy curves. Her hair cascades in black waves down her back, and her makeup is flawless, perfectly complementing her ensemble.

Yelena is equally impressive in her monochrome outfit. She sports a printed and textured charcoal grey double-breasted jacket over matching shirt and trousers, and grey suede chukka boots. Her hair is styled in an intricate, show-stopping braid, and she wears minimal makeup, highlighting her natural beauty. There’s nothing visible on the eyes and just enough on the skin to make sure she isn't shiny.

[***For reference:***]

Kate's back spasms once more, and she huffs while quietly shifting in her seat, hoping to alleviate the pain inconspicuously. She doesn't want Yelena to notice and make a fuss about it. Kate knows she'll have to tend to it later with a warm pad or a massage when they finally return home.

"Can you do something for me?" Kate asks timidly, her voice quivering with a hint of nervousness.

"Of course. Anything."

"I want a good photo of us tonight. On the carpet."

"Kate..."

"You always disappear the moment we step out, but this one means a lot. Moms last big night out."

Yelena ponders for a moment before responding.

"The first part of the carpet." Yelena relents.

"What if the photographers on the other end are better?" Kate asks cheekily.

"They're all great." Yelena replies with a chuckle.

"You get dressed up and look super hot but won't let anyone see you. How am I supposed to brag about having the hottest baby mama if I got no pictures to post?"

Yelena chuckles.

"Unfortunately, everyone knows what I look like."

"Periodic reminders are good." Kate offers puppy eyes. "You've NEVER walked a whole carpet with me."

"Because they’re interested in you, not me."

"That's not true."

"I'm nobody, Kate."

"Also not true."

The car comes to a stop and within seconds, the door opens to the madness outside — there are people screaming, reporters interviewing, and hundreds of cameras flashing simultaneously. Yelena steps out of the vehicle first and holds out her hand for Kate. Kate shifts her clutch to her left hand so she can hold Yelena with her right. The instant Kate steps out, the crowd explodes, and she turns on the natural charm, flashing a wide smile. Despite being heavily pregnant and therefore uncomfortable, Kate is a natural at these affairs. She leads the way to the beginning of the carpet, with Yelena following closely behind.

Social and public events are one of the few times Kate takes the lead. It's an unspoken agreement they have, as Yelena is out of her depth in such situations and defers to Kate's expertise. Kate is excellent at working the crowd; she's been doing it for half her life. It would be foolish of Yelena not to let her take charge. Moreover, Yelena enjoys watching Kate dominate a space and draw all eyes to her. Frankly, it’s a bit of a turn-on for Yelena to know that at the end of the night, she gets to take home the one person that everyone else wants. It's been especially great with Kate being pregnant because that makes the marking of her territory extra prominent. That's Yelena's — all of it.

Kate leads them to the beginning of the carpet, holding onto Yelena's hand tightly. This is the point where Yelena would normally skulk away and suddenly reappear out of nowhere on the other end of the carpet when Kate was ready to go into the event. But this time, Kate isn't letting go of her hand. She lands on the first mark for photos and wraps her arms around Yelena's waist, anchoring her. A million flashes and screams of her name and directions on where to look go off simultaneously.

Yelena must pay more attention than Kate thought because now that her feet are to the fire, she’s acting like a natural. Kate can’t help but gawk at her with a giddy smile. Yelena feels Kate's eyes on her and pivots from looking at the sea of photographers to find blue eyes boring into her. Yelena locks her gaze with Kate’s and reciprocates her smile, feeling a warmth spread through her chest. She's not used to being in the spotlight, but seeing Kate overflowing with shining admiration and love makes her feel like she's on top of the world. The cameras keep clicking, and the reporters keep shouting, but Yelena only has eyes for Kate.

"What?" A smile creeps on Yelena's face.

"You're kind of good at this."

"GIVE US A KISS!"

One of the photographers shouts from inside the mob on the other side of the barrier. Kate doesn't hesitate to comply. She probably would've regardless. Yelena stays put long enough not to make it look awkward but then immediately backs away. PDA is so not her fucking thing. Kate brings her thumb to Yelena’s lip and tenderly wipes the remnants of her lipstick off.

They walk about a dozen feet of the carpet then Kate's publicist approaches.

"ABC, E!, and ET want you."

"M'kay." Kate nods and turns to Yelena. "I'll be right back."

"Do your thing." Yelena responds with a forced smile as Kate is dragged away.

Within seconds Kate's in front of a camera and, now alone, Yelena instantly looks uncomfortable and out of place.

"You are one hot mama in that dress, Kate Bishop." The live reporter says while placing air kisses on each of Kate’s cheeks.

"Thank you. It's stunning and comfortable. Can't ask for anything more on a night like this."

"Are you excited to be presenting tonight?"

"Absolutely. I'm thirty-nine weeks, so it's been 'this can happen anytime' for a bit now. None of us were sure if I'd be here, and there were backups in place if I wasn't. My personal backup was to stay a little longer than I should've during rehearsals to get a sneak peek of the show's run-through in case I had to miss the real thing, and...let me tell you... People are not ready. The level of spectacle is insane.”

"That must be exciting for everyone at home to hear. So knowing your angel could join us any minute, are you taking advantage of the night out and hitting some after-parties?”

Kate smiles mischievously.

"That's our plan. At least for a little bit."

"I have three kids. Take advantage of all of these nights while you can." Says the second presenter.

"You say 'our' plan. Who did you bring with you tonight?"

Kate glances over her shoulder, expecting to see Yelena where she left her, but to her surprise, Yelena is nowhere to be found. It's not the first time Yelena has done this, disappearing without a trace. Kate is well aware of Yelena's habit and is amazed by her ability to find the one spot where TV cameras (or Kate) can't spot her. She feels a bit proud of her girlfriend's ninja-like skills but also a little irritated that Yelena has vanished once again. Kate turns back to the interviewer, trying to mask her momentary distraction.

“My partner, Yelena. She’s around here somewhere.”

The interviewers laugh.

“Did you lose her?”

Kate shrugs.

"She’s like a magician. Just...poof. Vanishes. All the time."

"I think it might be a secret power all partners have. My husband always does the same thing whenever we’re in public."

"It's slightly infuriating."

"It is. But you know what I'm not mad at? The color of that dress. Tell us more about it. Who are you wearing? What was the process to get this piece made?”

Kate smiles and eagerly shares the details of her ensemble.

Not too long after, the segment is over. Kate steps off the platform and her publicist immediately ushers away for more press opportunities. Before they get to the second interview, Kate feels yet another sudden shooting pain in her back. She can't wait to stop being pregnant. These random aches all over, and all the damn time, are some of the worst parts of it.

After Kate completes all the interviews and poses for all the photos, she realizes Yelena is still missing. She reaches the end of the carpet, and suddenly, Yelena wondrously reappears.

"I asked you for one thing." Kate mumbles, slightly irritated. "Where did you even go? I was looking for you."

"I was around. You looked great." Yelena replies nonchalantly. "And we did take a ton of photos at the beginning. I'm sure it's easier when I'm not in your way."

"Whatever. I wanted you there tonight." Kate retorts, her frustration palpable.

Yelena looks contrite as they cross the doors into the impressive theater and move to find their seats.

---

The Dolby Theatre hums with excitement as the Academy Awards are well underway. The opulent grand hall exudes glamour, decked out with dazzling crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and majestic golden statuettes lining the stage. Every guest is the embodiment of elegance, clad in their finest attire, from shimmering gowns and sleek suits to immaculate hairstyles. The air is thick with anticipation and elation as attendees eagerly await the announcement of winners.

The audience erupts in thunderous applause as Kate and her co-presenter step onto the stage. The stage lights dim and the cameras focus on the duo as they stride arm-in-arm towards their marks. The energy in the room is rousing as Kate takes her place at the microphone, gazing out into the sea of famous faces. She clears her throat and begins to speak, her voice amplified throughout the theater.

“A loving husband forced to confront his mortality, a courageous civil rights leader fighting for justice, a brilliant inventor battling his demons, a serial killer attempting to redeem himself, and an artist dealing with their most stubborn partner yet...I can relate to that last one..." Kate ad-libs and glances at the blonde sitting in the second row, suddenly looking particularly frowny. The entire audience guffaws. "...These are the performances that landed these five talented actors on the nominee’s list."

The very end of the last word gets caught in Kate's throat when her back spasms particularly violently. Suddenly, a thought flashes through her mind: was…was that a contraction? A moment of panic sets in, but she keeps a winsome smile on her face and remains composed as the man beside her naturally takes over reading his lines on the teleprompter.

---

About fifteen minutes later, Kate makes her way back to her seat and intertwines her fingers with Yelena's. As a new pair of presenters take the stage to introduce the next category, Yelena leans over at her.

"You did amazing. The dig was unnecessary..." Yelena tells her only half in jest. "...but still amazing."

Kate musters a strained smile and leans back on her chair, trying to stay composed as she feels the start of another contraction.

"I'm pretty sure I'm in labor."

Kate doesn't think she's ever seen Yelena's head move so fast. Her eyes widen to the size of plates and color drains from her face. She immediately tries to stand, but Kate grips her hand firmly, indicating she should stay in place.

"We're live." Kate reminds her in a whisper.

"And you're having a baby!" Yelena mumbles back, alarmed.

"It's fine...I think. I don't think she's coming right this second."

Kate grimaces in pain as the contraction peaks, but she tries to reassure Yelena. However, Yelena’s eyes haven’t left Kate and she notices when the brunette scowls.

"We're leaving."

"Stay. Put." Kate clenches Yelena's hand tighter. "Two more categories until commercials. It's fine. I can wait." Kate offers a faint smile. Yelena tilts her head, concern written all over her face. Kate forces herself to smile wider, for Yelena’s sake. "Trust me." Kate mouths before turning her attention back to the stage, clapping when the winner is announced while doing her best to hide her discomfort.

---

After enduring twelve excruciatingly long minutes and two agonizing contractions, the show finally cuts to commercials. Yelena wastes no time and grabs Kate's hand, practically dragging her up the aisle. The room seems to spin as Kate struggles to keep up with Yelena's frantic pace. The world around her somehow also seemingly moves in slow motion, her senses numbed by the intense pain. The blinding lights and noise of the show fade into a dull roar as they make their way to the doors. The rush of adrenaline keeps Kate going even as her body screams in protest.

They burst through the doors into the relative quiet of the lobby, and Yelena immediately puts her phone to her ear. Kate's heart races as another contraction starts to build, and she squeezes Yelena's hand tightly. Yelena's panic is palpable as she speaks into the phone.

"We need the car. Right now...Now." Yelena turns to Kate. "I made sure they let him stay up the block just in case. He's on his way." Yelena expresses urgently as they walk down the mostly empty red carpet.

"Your stress is stressing me out."

"I'm not stressed." Yelena retorts, very much stressed.

Kate stops in her tracks, solidly planting her feet on the carpet, forcing Yelena to turn around and face her. Yelena looks at her bewildered.

"I need you to calm down. Please. You're...giving off vibes."

"What vibes? I'm not giving off anything."

"Calm down."

"Kate..." Yelena steps closer so she can whisper and grit through her teeth. "...You're having the baby."

"Yeah. ME. I am. And what I need from you is chill, peaceful, zen vibes."

"I'm not zen. I don't do 'zen'." Yelena admits and Kate can’t help but smile.

"I'm very aware. But I'm asking you to try. You're wound too tightly and you rub off on me. I need to be the opposite of wound right now."

A text comes through. Yelena looks at her phone.

"Car's here." Yelena tries to pull Kate again.

"Nope. I'm not moving until you loosen up." Kate utters, looking Yelena in the eye.

"This is serious, Kate." Yelena pleads.

"I will have this baby right here. Don't think I won't."

Yelena grumbles under her breath. She takes a breath and exhales. All for show.

"There. Relaxed. Can we go now?"

"I need you to do it for real."

"Kate...this isn't a game."

"I'm the one feeling this. I know it's not. Relax. In..." Kate takes a deep breath. "...Out." She exhales.

"You’re being ridiculous. We need to get you home."

"In...Out." Yelena swallows a groan before inhaling and exhaling with Kate. "In...Out."

Kate inhales and exhales slowly. Yelena reluctantly follows suit.

"This is a little absurd." Yelena tells her, but visibly more relaxed.

Kate looks around, taking the Dolby Theater, the still set-up cameras, the straggling crew, producers, and publicists milling about, wholly clueless to their current situation. She can’t help but smile.

"It is. But...she's our kid. I don't know why we expected she would want anything but a grand entrance."

Their eyes meet, and time seems to freeze as they share a moment. It's only the two of them here. They both realize that their lives will never be the same after this instant. But the moment is fleeting as Kate's face contorts ever so slightly. Yelena is the only one who could detect a change this subtle in Kate’s expression. Another contraction. Yelena breaks the silence. Impatient.

"Can we PLEASE leave?"

Kate shakes her head, trying to suppress a groan. Yelena gets the implied message. Not right now. She squeezes Kate's hands, offering the only support and comfort she can in their current predicament. The contraction fades away and Kate exhales before standing up straight again. But then, her face changes.

“She's coming. Right now." Kate tells the blonde with panic in her voice.

Yelena doesn't know what to do with herself. Hysteria is literally radiating off her. After a moment, Kate chuckles and returns to her usual casual and relaxed self.

"YOU'RE NOT FUNNY, KATHERINE."

"I'd like to think I am. Just a little...You should've seen your face." Kate teases. Yelena grumbles under her breath as she turns on her heels and pulls Kate toward the sidewalk and waiting car. "It was a dry run for later. I know exactly what you'll look like when she's actually coming now."

"Not funny." Yelena says curtly.

"We need to text Ash and Laney." Kate reminds Yelena of the midwife and doula they've been working with the entire pregnancy.

"Texted them inside. Told them contractions were about five and a half apart. They're on their way to the house."

"You timed my contractions during the show?"

"Obviously."

Yelena says matter of factly as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Kate catches up to Yelena to walk beside her instead of being dragged behind her. She plants a kiss on her cheek.

"Always on top of everything."

Yelena spots their driver. He opens the door for them. Yelena guides Kate inside the SUV, and as she sits down, she gives the driver a quick glance.

"Home. As fast as you can."

"Yes, ma'am." The man replies.

Yelena hops inside, joining Kate in the back seat, and closes the door behind her. Kate immediately links their fingers and rests her head on Yelena's shoulder.

---

Some five hours later, as the clock struck 11:53 PM on a chilly late February night, Eleanor Archer Belova makes a rather dramatic entrance into the world and into her mothers' loving arms.

The long list of first names they discuss while trying to conceive quickly becomes irrelevant after the unexpected passing of Kate's mother only days before they learn they’re pregnant. As soon as they discover they’re having a girl, only one name feels fitting - that of Kate's biggest champion.

Kate's breakout role as a fierce and skilled world-class archer in a blockbuster dystopian film trilogy not only marked the beginning of her illustrious career but also served as a defining moment in her life. For years she joked about naming one of her future children after the character that had brought her so much success, but it wasn't until they were discussing names that the idea took root. As they debated name combinations, Kate mentioned it in passing and the comment took on a life of its own. It suddenly became clear what the baby's middle name had to be regardless of gender. It was a fitting tribute to Kate’s past and journey.

Ellie Belova will never know what it is to go a second without feeling utterly loved. No matter what challenges come her way, she'll always feel the warmth of her mothers' devotion. Yelena's intense nature and unwavering determination will drive her to protect her daughter at all costs, even if it means taking extreme measures. On the other hand, Kate will offer Ellie staunch support, guidance, and endless laughter as they navigate the ups and downs of life together. As Ellie grows older, she'll come to realize that her mothers' love is infinite and limitless. They'll always be there for her, cheering her on through every success and comforting her through every setback. And even when they're no longer by her side, Ellie will carry with her the knowledge that she was always cherished beyond measure.

[gellavonhamster]

13 books meme

Tagged by @littlestsnicket (thank you ❤)

1) The Last book I read: One Piece Novel Heroines by Jun Esaka, which I've already been posting about enough not to elaborate here

2) A book I recommend: can I copy your homework plagiarize the answer to this from the person who tagged me? Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke. I know a lot of people find it too long or just not their cup of tea, but it's one of my all-time favourites, one of those books that feel like they were written for me specifically, and I cannot help recommending it to others :)

3) A book that I couldn’t put down: I remember reading TFOTA #2 and #3 (The Wicked King and The Queen of Nothing by Holly Black) in a single day. I was feeling unwell, and it was cold outside anyway, so I just spent most of the day reading in bed. I recall being surprised by how engrossed I was - the first book of this series didn't grow on me until well into its second half.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more): I have this sideblog on Twitter where I post a quote from Dracula per day (yes, manually, I don't know how to make bots lol). I just move down the text and skim it and pick sentences that catch my eye, and when I reach the end, I start from the beginning again. So, in a way, I am constantly in the process of rereading Dracula

5) A book on my TBR: Chrétien de Troyes' Perceval and a bunch of its continuations, Lolly Willowes by Sylvia Townsend Warner

6) A book I’ve put down: the thing is, if I don't really enjoy a book but still can find a good thing or two about it, I will keep reading and hoping it will improve eventually, and if I don't enjoy a book at all, I forget about it as soon as I put it down. Out of sight, out of mind - unless I particularly hate it. When I try to think of any books of the latter kind, the first to come to my mind usually is A Discovery of Witches. I found the worldbuilding really interesting, but damn, the protagonists were so annoying that I wasn't going to struggle through that brick of a book for it.

7) A book on my wish list: I need to get a copy of The Bad Beginning, The Wide Window, and The Hostile Hospital, and then I'll have the entire ASOUE collected! Would also love to get any other Snicketverse books; I only have Poison for Breakfast - bought it literally last weekend. I could buy them online, of course, but: 1) I prefer to avoid online shopping if there is realistic possibility for me to come across that item offline; 2) accidentally stumbling onto these books in bookshops (especially second-hand ones) when I least expect them feels like such a right experience for this series that I am inclined to continue acquiring them that way.

8) A favorite book from childhood: Winnie-the-Pooh and The House at Pooh Corner... truly formative shit, responsible for at least 50% of my sense of humour

9) A book you would give to a friend: I was at my friend's place recently and noticed she had the exact same copy of Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury as I do. When I told her about it, she told me it was I who gave her that book (I forgot 🤦‍♀️) and that she loves it and rereads it almost every autumn :') So this one has definitely passed the test.

10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own: I have a whole shelf full of poetry books, in fact. At least half of them weren't bought by me, but by my family members long before I was born, but presently all of them are considered mine :D Those that I bought myself include collections of poems by Christina Rossetti, Emily Dickinson, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Oscar Wilde, and Marina Tsvetaeva, among other things. And Useless Magic by Florence Welch!

11) A nonfiction book you own: I stumbled upon The Republic of Pirates by Colin Woodard in the same second-hand bookshop where I bought all the parts of ASOUE I currently have and couldn't believe my luck - I really wanted to read it after watching Black Sails! It's great.

12) What are you currently reading: Tristan and Isolde. Restoring Palamede by John Erskine. Really enjoying it so far; it sort of demystifies/disenchants Arthuriana but without excessive cynicism, with the narrator being understanding, perhaps even compassionate, when describing the characters' very realistic, human flaws. Technically I'm also reading E. W. Hornung's short stories about Raffles and Bunny through the Letters from Bunny Substack, but it's more like "desperately trying to catch up and failing". The stories themselves are delightful, but I was right to suspect that this way of reading books is not for me.

13) What are you planning on reading next? Dracula in Istanbul (the Turkish translation/adaptation of Dracula), courtesy of @seawilde <3

tagging @afoxnamedmulder, @seawilde, @lefresne, @uupiic, and @snckt; as always, feel free to ignore if you don't want to answer :)

[utilitycaster]

@burr-ell replied to your post “I think some of it is joking but a lot of the...”:

i've never encountered the coin hatred! like are people mad at the coin for Gods Bad reasons, or are they mad because the coin flip 'made' fearne revivify orym instead of laudna and thus temporarily got in the way of Cute Girlfriends

​You know, it's not entirely clear so I left this out because it's all highly speculative, but anyway, untagged thoughts on that:

The most vitriolic stuff I've seen is kind of projecting onto Fearne's ambivalent feelings about the coin and turning it into something that I think is much stronger and more unkind than it is [ie, saying in about as many words they hope Fearne makes FCG eat his damn coin when Fearne's position is, quite literally (per a direct quote from episode 3x51) "I trust you. I'm not sure if I trust the coin."]. I have definitely seen this sentiment more from people who do ship Imogen with Laudna than those who don't, but I'm truly not sure if it's anger at the revivify choice - and if it is, since that was Fearne in the end who used it, that feels especially weird.

I think in the end it's a combination of not liking religion, which, sorry pal but this is D&D and if the main villain of the campaign is like "We should unleash something to eat the gods," religion is going to be a pretty present and intense theme; and as a few people have noted in the tags, the fact that people tend to accept Sam's characters only on the condition they serve as support for their favorite characters.

So with that in mind, I do strongly suspect it's also folded into the Cute Girlfriends situation. It was pretty common fanon in those circles that Sam was a shipper on deck (genuinely unsure why; the most I can think of is that FCG wanted Imogen and Laudna to make up when they fought but like, FCG wants everyone to get along and they would have done the same if say, Fearne and Orym got into a fight; and Shared Dream, which was really just for Imogen). Then, pretty much immediately following the murder bot reveal, Sam actually relaxed and grew into the character and started making interesting choices, and I've seen increasing resentment ever since, which is funny, because FCG irritated me from episodes 1-31 and then from episode 32-present has been on an absolute hot streak.

There's a significant overlap with people who were also furious that FCG went into the Grand Disc because Imogen might die (babe, this is D&D. you hear a loud crash beneath you, you investigate. also Imogen can do magic from like 400 feet away and literally half this party are healers.) and who were mad he brought other party members into the Shared Dream (which, Imogen could have requested this only be a her and Laudna thing, but didn't) and that FCG encouraged Imogen to talk with her father. There's also overlap here with the people who felt Deanna should primarily exist to further Imogen's feelings for Laudna, so yeah, my suspicion is "already doesn't like religion, and then the clerics have the gall to have personal interests and goals that don't center around the ship, and to find renewed/growing comfort in the gods in a crisis? Bad."

It also feels very whipping boy to me - like, I think people are mad at the narrative itself for splitting up Imogen and Laudna for what is shaping up to be at least weeks in game time and months in real time; I think they're mad that their ship is demonstrably not, in fact, the heart of this campaign and that the Uthodurn arc is very good to the point that people who fell off C3 are catching up; and I think they're terrified both that Imogen and Laudna could, potentially, die thousands of miles apart from each other without ever having kissed and that Imogen is not just trying to burn every spell slot and knocking herself out with the psychic damage trying to reach Laudna but is in fact still going about her life. But they can't let themselves be mad at Laura and Marisha about this (even though literally it's their choice that Imogen and Laudna haven't kissed), nor admit that the campaign they've been so vigorously defending is now going in a direction they don't like, so they're just heaping all this onto FCG and their coin. Anyway, good news is after the incredible Commune scene most people have gotten really fucking quiet.

[otaku-tactician]

2, 17 and 22 about Gilgamesh and Mori for the character ask 🌝

Hello, thank you very much for the ask! I appreciate this a lot. Hmm, both Gilgamesh and Mori! This will definitely be challenging, so I will have to work off vibes for these two guys as well.

I've written answers for Gilgamesh first and Mori second if thats ok? Thank you!

Gilgamesh Character Asks

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

I think the one Gilgamesh headcanon that I'm the most annoying about is the belief that Gilgamesh doesn't always have lofty goals behind his intentions; and that he can definitely partake in morally gray actions purely for the sake of it sometimes.

This is a VERY unpopular opinion- particularly in the wake of fate works revealing that Gilgamesh often acts as an impenetrable opponent as a means of 'fostering the growth of his people'; but at times I believe Gilgamesh can be a wanton and arbitrary King who does things based off a whim sometimes. Yes, I do understand that Gilgamesh is also an incredibly smart servant- who plans many things in advance, but some of his behaviors do strike me as very uncouth and sadistic, and they're not always for a noble end goal.

I don't believe that all he has done has to be justified. It's okay that Gilgamesh is fucked up. Acceptance and tolerance are two very different things, but I only learnt this recently.

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

OOF this is a very hard question, sans for the canonical instrumental songs that are canonically associated with Gilgamesh, there are a few that make me think of him but... I'm trying to remember which ones...

LMAOO FOR SOME REASON THIS SONG RANDOMLY CAME INTO MY HEAD?! (I first heard this song during a Madara AMV for Naruto Shippuden????) This one is heavy metal.

I'm looking over the lyrics, and it's about an absolutely terrifying king of annihilation. Well... I guess there is some relevance, then.

There was also a Nier:Automata song (Song of the Ancients I think) that played in a Gilgamesh fgo gameplay video, so I tend to associate this song with him too:

But I don't really have a personal connection to this song, per se. I admit, I tend not to make playlists for my blorbos sadly. But sometimes I will see a tumblr post and go 'GILGAMESH!!!!'

22. Best Physical Feature

HIS EYES. I could drink in those pools of glistening red forever. My god, what a rich shade of red! Other than that he is handsome.

NEXT UP IS MORI AYYYYY

Mori Nagayoshi Character Ask

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

That there is method to his madness. Mori Nagayoshi may be very blunt and can definitely misread the atmosphere; as well as act in ways that may seem a bit 'dumb'; but deep in my heart, I believe that he is actually very intelligent. There is just something about Mori that screams to me 'he knows more than he lets on'. Maybe this is just me though, as he can appear as a bit dense XD

Maybe this is just me, but beneath all of his chaos and bloodlust, there is a chilling sense of... someone who is making the most out of what hand he's been dealt. He does seem unusually nonchalant about some hard-hitting things, but as I have grown and learnt more about the many ways in which people cope with hardship, I have learnt that this is the way how characters like him cope. They live in the moment, they go wild, they accept the reality... damn, Mori is kind of a mystery to me as well XD

ANOTHER HILL I WILL DIE ON! Sorry, this one is a bit NSFW but!!!! Although Mori is rough and wild I BELIEVE 100% DEEP IN MY HEART that Mori Nagayoshi would be very good to who he is indulging in physical intimacy with! I think he may be clumsy at times but he has the spirit, I believe in him wholeheartedly.

AND A THIRD HILL I WILL DIE ON! I love his rare meek and blushy side when he gets a bit vulnerable. MORI NAGAYOSHI IS CUTE! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE HE ISN'T CUTE! HE IS ONE OF THE CUTEST IN FGO!

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

Oh crap omg a poem just came in my head

Amongst the blood-red moon, The lark sings. With spider lilies for veins He bleeds forth a river, A never-ending deluge.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Also a song? To be honest, I don't have any playlists for Mori but this GUDAGUDA fgo ost reminds me of him ^^ Just in a vibes kind of way (I was unable to complete the GUDAGUDA event with him in it, sadly!)

TT-TT It's a very moving and emotional final battle theme, definitely the kind of battle I'd love to take a guy like him to.

22. Best Physical Feature

To me personally, there is no best feature for Mori Nagayoshi. The WHOLE PACKAGE is freaking sexylicious!!!!! Phwoar, Mori Nagayoshi is very beautiful to me personally, from those fiery red locks, to those stunning ochre yellow and red ringed eyes; that bulky build and his massive teeth.

He is very pretty ^^

Thank you for the ask, my answers are completely off the wall in this one

[teaveetamer]

Hey guys so full transparency here because it seems things have blown up a bit while I've had my anons off and I've been doing other stuff.

Myself and some other people from Tumblr have been in direct communication with the mods of the Edelgard discord server over the past few weeks. We have been trying to hash out an agreement that everyone can come away happy with.

We asked them to please stop letting members of their server talk about us, link, quote, etc. our posts there, and in exchange we promised that we would do our best to stop people here from posting screenshots of their server.

This was done because nobody wants harassment or for things to continue escalating like how they have been. The best solution for that is to talk to each other and come to an understanding.

We also requested that they keep an eye on certain members of their server who have been lightning rods for the harassment, such as Raxis and Diaphin, and try to talk to them/potentially ban them if it became clear that their actions were causing friction.

This has been the agreement for the last few weeks.

When Raxis made his post about BWIIDT, Nilsh responded under the impression that the agreement had been broken. The mods of the server got in touch with us pretty quickly, and we asked Nilsh to take the screenshots down. We also had a long discussion with the mods about the things that were in the screenshots to try and come to an understanding about why many of us were so upset by them. We thought the situation was handled, but then Raxis made another post about one of Nilsh's old posts after Nilsh had already taken the screenshots down per our agreement.

This understandably led to some confusion and frustration on Nilsh's part, as the mods and us had stopped talking for the night and we did not know what they had done with regard to Raxis and the situation. Nilsh took the frustrated post down as soon as we were made aware of it and we talked to him about what was going on. We also talked with the mods about it. They have told us that they have taken action, and Raxis is no longer in their server because of his actions.

I would have never requested that the mods take action against him if I didn't think it was causing massive problems for both their server and the people who have been harassed by him. If he wants to call that blackmail then I suppose I can't stop him, but I think it's unfortunate that he can't see how his own actions have led to this.

I really, really hope that he can step away for a while, heal, and when he's ready to stop the harassment and stalking, then I hope he can be welcomed back into their community with full forgiveness and a healthier mindset.

I also want to be clear that I'm not trying to excuse what Nilsh did or apologize on his behalf, but I have spoken with him about it. He is taking a break from social media for a while to decompress and calm down. I asked if it was okay for me to talk about this, considering Raxis's current escalation, so I could clear up any confusion.

I didn't plan on doing this so soon, but I'm going to open anons again in case anyone has questions for me and they don't feel comfortable talking on main.

[bonbelles]

˗ˏˋ life went on without you ˎˊ˗

prompt: the below quote, after a breakup with alhaitham

word count: 700+

content: gn!reader, light angst, post-breakup, sadhaitham

It had been a short while since your last encounter with Alhaitham, and it was not one to remember for joy - more so one to remember for the sheer upset the both of you faced in each other's company. The last time you spoke to Alhaitham, it was when you ended the relationship; it was when you realised he prioritised his work over you, and you wanted to be somebody's first choice.

In the moment, he was neutral about the conclusion to your time together. If anything, it freed up time for him to do more research, archive more records. Yet once alone, once you'd abandoned him in the vast, barren library, he let out emotions he hadn't experienced in a long time.

You had returned to the library to gather some books for your own research, a project you took on to occupy yourself - ensure you never spent time thinking about Alhaitham. By the time the project made some kind of progress, you were actually enjoying the research and had moved on from your ex-boyfriend. But of course, by facing the library, you knew you'd have to face him. He seldom spent time in his office, so you had spent the day prior mentally preparing yourself for an encounter.

The library was quiet, with a lot of students either in lectures or off on their own research projects; at least this meant you could gather the books you needed and make a swift exit. Looking through the borrowing log, you saw that all of the books you needed were present, and in the same section. Even luckier.

Yet when you reached the corner you needed, and started scanning the shelves for the books you wanted to borrow, a figure appeared behind you peering over your shoulder.

"I'll get that one for you," Alhaitham said, pointing at a book on your list and reaching one of the top shelves.

Turning around, you were faced with Alhaitham's figure - tall, slender, as per usual. He handed you the book, however almost did not want to let go.

"Thanks. Can you get that one also?" You ask, pointing at another book from the same shelf.

"Of course." Alhaitham passed you the book diligently. "How have you been?"

"Good. You?"

"Stagnant. It's as if I've hit a brick wall, but nothing worthy of elaboration, I feel. Why do you need these books?"

"A new project. Watatsumi Island, specifically. I need to read these before I travel there."

"Hmm, interesting. Did not think you were one for Inazuman culture, I will say."

You shook your head at Alhaitham, watching his brows furrow in confusion. "Seems you didn't know me much at all. I said to you multiple times that I really wanted to travel around the islands of Inazuma."

"Sorry."

"Look, you may feel 'stagnant' or 'like you've hit a brick wall', but I'm exploring for the first time. My wings have grown, I can fly to my heart's content."

Alhaitham moved back to where he was originally working from, leaning his weight onto a pile of books stacked on the side of the wooden desk. "I don't blame you. I just wonder why it had to end that way, that's all."

"I told you the moment I ended it: I wasn't your first priority. I deserve to be put on a pedestal, to be treated like royalty--"

"Unrealistic."

"Well, I'm leaving soon. I probably won't be back for some time. I wanted to end on more positive terms, yet the recent revelation of you ignoring everything I ever told you has left me with a bitter taste in my mouth."

"I just miss you..." Alhaitham paused, rubbing his temple with his hand.

"My life went on without you, Alhaitham. Of course it did- no, of course it does. This was just an ending, not the end. Not for me."

Books held against your chest, cheeks flushed with embarrassment and fury, you departed from the library as quickly as you arrived. You did not want Alhaitham to have the final word, to leave the conversation on his terms. You wanted your point to be heard, to be the only thing he remembered of you.

Sitting down in front of his books, his head throbbing with exhaustion, upset, melancholy, Alhaitham stared at the work he needed to complete. The work he surrounded himself with. The work that was his first priority.

He wondered whether this was all his life would amount to.