#when uni reading gives you something that sounds like a fic writing prompt | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gisachi · 3 years

Note

Hi ^^ I know that your requests are now closed but I was thinking that, given you have written jealous Shinichi, I would very much enjoy some jealous Ran! Maybe you can mix it with one of the prompts? Just throwing the idea out there, no pressure. Delete this if you don't feel like it, it's okay really. Thank you for writing these amazing fics, the shinran fandom is in your debt. ❤️

So this is the last (!!!) and longest (!!!) of the kiss prompts, and I dedicate it to multiple-requests Anon and to this Anon. I hope both of you still see this. It took me a while. ^^;;

P.S. Special thanks to @artycreaty for keeping this in check. You are awesome. 🥰

41. Kisses shared under an umbrella. 46. A lingering kiss before a long trip apart. (6,489 words)

Ran keeps telling herself she has no right to be jealous.

She has hundreds of reasons not to. They’re merely childhood best friends. Life would be much easier if she didn’t involve herself in his business twenty-four seven. Shinichi absolutely doesn’t look at her that way. And so forth.

She wonders why they’re even friends in the first place. If their parents hadn’t enrolled them in the same kindergarten, she was certain they wouldn’t even be on speaking terms. He lives in a world of grisly books and crimes, she in a world of martial and visual arts. Their hobbies don’t overlap. They excel in different fields. They enter the same university with completely unrelated majors. The only bond they have in common is their shared history. Literally bonded since they were four, until now at nineteen.

So when she sees him all jolly around his newfound circle who hold the same interest in Holmes or detective work, it shouldn’t surprise her as much. It’s part of university life, it’s normal, they expand their horizons, and Ran understands that it hits much differently when they bond with people who like the same stuff they do. Something she’s aware they cannot share a hundred percent.

She’s proud of him, and she absolutely has no right to feel jealous, especially when she sees him around taller, prettier, more interesting women from his course block. There is no reason for her to look away with a heavy weight in her chest everytime the women get giggly and touchy while he’s absorbed in narrating his stories.

Everytime she does, she reminds herself of how he didn’t seem to mind when she was casted as the protagonist of their high school play and the leading man was the handsome Araide-sensei. Or how he simply shrugged when she fawned over the brother of a classmate because he looked so much like the karate senpai she was crushing on. Or when she secretly caught Sonoko dragging the detective behind gym after P.E. to confront him about his opinion regarding an upperclassman courting Ran and his only response was, ‘She can like whoever she likes, Sonoko. I’m not her boyfriend.’

He never showed her any sign of jealousy, therefore he must not be into her. Simple as that. So it’s unfair for her to be treating him differently. Getting snarky just because he received sixteen new fan mails again, more now that they’re in uni, and two even coming from the popular criminology seniors he is often teased to? Or ignoring him unprecedentedly just because his eyes followed the back of a woman with long chestnut hair and voluptuous curves? There are plenty of fish in the sea, and he’s bound to be attracted to someone else. This is a pill she ought to learn to swallow eventually.

Eventually.

“Shinichi-kun, you never told us about your scariest case yet, tell us about it?”

Kaori closes her notes and so do the other two girls across her, and Shinichi’s eyes twinkle. He truly seems to enjoy study sessions with the little group they made consisting of some of his and Ran’s coursemates because they love listening to his stories.

“At the top of my head is this murderer disguised as a bandaged man, and he targeted us one by one…” and so the detective drones. Ran pauses typing and reminisces quietly. Ah, that one from summer three years ago. I was almost injured by that crazy man during my sleep but Shinichi woke me up in time.

“Ran-san,” Shun, her friend and coursemate, mutters beside her, also stopping his typing to listen to the detective’s story. “It’s ridiculous how popular Kudou-kun is with the girls. He’s full of wild adventures.”

“Yes, he is,” Ran says, smiling. “He’s been a girl magnet ever since high school.”

She watches as Kaori inches closer to Shinichi, listening attentively, chin on her palm and flirtatious smile on her lips as the detective rants on and on.

For the third time that afternoon, Ran looks away.

Ran keeps telling herself she has no right to be jealous.

She does, everyday, but it’s hard when he smiles at her, cares for her, holds her in a way she’s never seen him do for anyone else. It gives her hope every time the girls cling to him but he never touches them back, whereas he automatically slings his arm over her shoulder because she’s afraid or cold or he simply feels like it.

Then again, maybe she’s giving herself too much credit. Perhaps it’s a free pass for being around him for too long. She even gets to spend time with him during weekends and holidays. It isn’t special because it’s normal.

And that’s all she’ll ever be, a normal girl in his eyes.

“Ran? She’s pretty special.”

Ran reacts to the mention of her name and catches Shinichi looking at her. “She appears quiet but she can kick anyone’s ass without breaking a sweat. It’s bad if you cross her,” Shinichi gloats with a grin.

“Oh my god, really? We can bring her with us then!” Kaori claps her hands in excitement.

“Ah... But she won’t like that,” he follows up, wary. Ran has missed the topic they were talking about and now she’s curious.

“But ghosts aren’t real and Mouri-san can give them a good beating!”

“Gh-Ghosts?” The color in her cheeks drains, eyes freezing at Shinichi who has probably already expected that reaction, for he sports that same look of concern as those times he had expressed whenever she joined him in his way-past-bedtime elementary school adventures.

“We’ll investigate an abandoned house I always pass by walking home,” Kaori explains. “Last night I saw a faint cigarette light at the second floor window. It might be a fugitive or a homeless person or a ghost, who knows?”

“You don’t need to come if you don’t want to, Ran,” Shinichi assures.

Gulping, Ran contemplates whether going with them will do her any good. It’s a nice change, it’s been a while since she last tagged with Shinichi in his cases. But she isn’t exactly proud of shrieking like a little kid in front of serious criminology majors who may feel like she’ll drag their covert investigation down if she joins.

“...I’ll pass,” she answers meekly, and his coursemates sulk except Shinichi, who offers her a smile of understanding.

“Man, I thought we’ll be able to see Mouri-san in action!”

“That’s ok, maybe next time. We still have Shinichi-kun!”

“Shinichi-kun will protect us, ne?”

“Hah. Right. Invite Hakuba too, use him.”

“Oh c’mooon, Shinichi-kun!”

Ran closes her eyes, struggling to zone their voices out.

In her silence, Ran ponders if she has made a wrong choice.

Ran has no right to be jealous. So it’s unfair for her to be treating him this way.

The following weekend, Shinichi narrates what happened in their late-night investigation. Hakuba wasn’t there so Shinichi was the only available guy as usual. Ran refuses to hear any more details, both of the haunted house and secretly of the girls chancing onto him during the investigation. Shinichi is puzzled.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Nah, just swamped with work.”

“On a Sunday?”

“Yes.”

“Want me to assist?”

“No.”

Her replies are curt from the couch of his house, not looking at Shinichi on the other end as she mindlessly cleans up her digital sketches. She hates how snappy she sounds but her brain is too absorbed with conjuring spiteful imaginations to even think of masking her annoyance.

“Ran, hey. Look at me.”

His low voice freezes her from drawing, and she slowly looks up to meet Shinichi’s serious eyes.

When this happens, she knows he’s reading her. She inwardly chants a prayer because now isn’t a good time. Whatever time isn’t a good time. She doesn’t know what to say when she’s aware everything she’s been feeling is irrational and unfair. She’s being selfish.

“You’re… stressed.”

“No, I’m… Eh?”

He scoots closer, an arm’s length away. “Your dark circles are more prominent now, you need a break.” His eyes turn a soft blue. “Let’s have dinner out? My treat.”

Ran is surprised, to say the least. The last time he invited her out was two weeks ago. She’s become so used to seeing him around others that any initiative from him sounds too good to be true.

“But I need to finish this project by tonight.”

“Let’s have food delivery then!” Shinichi announces, not rattled by Ran’s indirect refusal. “I know exactly what you want. Ramen and shaved ice.”

Her eyes thin at the absurdly goofy expression she knows he makes when he’s being mischievous. “Clearly you’re ordering that ramen for yourself. I only like shaved ice.”

“Damn! Miss Detective gets it.” A mile-wide grin stretches across his face, earning an eye roll from the half-smiling woman. “Let’s eat together on your short break, please?”

He leans within a respectful distance and she sees his smile better, pair of kind eyes locking with her overworked ones. “It’s been a while.”

Her heart throbs for him. So much.

She caves - of course she does - and breathes her acquiescence.

After two long weeks, they have dinner together, just them and Shinichi’s ramen and Ran’s donburi and shaved ice, Shinichi taking a spoonful of dessert from the cup when she isn’t looking and Ran snatching a slurp from his take-out bowl and laughing when he catches her.

With how heartfelt his laughter is in her presence devoid of any mysteries, Ran knows she’s probably giving herself too much credit, but for once she wants to believe she is the cause of why Shinichi’s happy.

Just for that night, she gives it to herself.

She’ll change the dark colors of her digital artwork to brighter ones after they eat.

Despite everything, Ran finds it difficult to contain her recurring jealousy.

The more she shares precious time with him, the more it gets harder to suppress the selfish emotions. What is so unsatisfying about being the best friend is that she is only the best friend. No more no less. At the end of the day, she isn’t the one he gets to cuddle with, to tease then kiss, to tell ‘I love you’ to, romantically.

“I love you.”

Ran feels her heart about to leap out of her chest.

“But please. Stop. Tearing. The. Cushions!”

The little furball he has scooped underneath a throw pillow wiggle from his grasp. The kitten and detective engage in a brief staring showdown before it jumps away to hide under a farther couch.

Snapping out of reverie, Ran watches her childhood friend slink dejectedly onto the partly scratched furniture. He’s fortunate enough that his mother isn’t around to give him a long lecture on Why Pets Aren’t Allowed in the House 101. She can always take Yukiko-san’s role and reprimand him for it, but as for this and the cat, she finds herself not wanting to intervene.

“Kaori-san sure is taking her time with her parent’s permission. By the time she does, Momo would’ve shredded all the pillows in this house.”

“You named the cat?” Ran asks, amused.

“She did.” He thinks for a moment, then sniggers. “Actually I did. I suggested a random name. She took it.”

Ran merely hums. What can she say? They’re getting close. Close enough to team up as parents to an adopted kitten.

“I’m surprised you also agreed to keep Momo when you never took in animals before.”

“Kaori said she’ll treat me to the latest Detective Samonji movie this weekend if I do. Can’t resist that.”

“Just you two?”

“Yeah.”

A beat. Then he turns to her.

“Wanna join? I can ask her to count you in since you’re kinda helpi—”

“N-no need,” Ran quips, “It’s—It’s fine.”

“No really,” Shinichi insists, “Kaori-san has a lot of money, she—”

“I’m going to Tokyo Metropolitan Art Museum with Shun-san this weekend... so... I can’t.”

“Ah.”

Silence.

“It’s, um, for a project,” she bolsters.

“I know.” The faintest smile graces his lips. “It’s your thing. Both of you.”

“Mm.”

He doesn’t say anything else after that.

“Shinichi, you’re a detective, right?” she blurts out of the blue.

“Yeah...and?”

Then deduce what I feel. Here and now.

“Then you’re going to enjoy that movie!” Ran forces a beam, giving Shinichi a thumb of approval. “And you can discuss it with Kaori-san over dinner. I’m sure you two have a lot to say about it.”

Shinichi’s eyes linger on her, reading her like a book, and Ran has her mind reeling again, afraid to be read.

“Yeah, we do,” he finally says, ending the conversation.

Only a few words are uttered the rest of the afternoon.

Momo resurfaces and curls beside Shinichi.

Momo’s purring is loud, but Ran’s shattering heart is louder.

Ran must not feel jealous. She is not a girlfriend.

Because she isn’t a girlfriend, he’s free to fall for and date anyone else. Who is she to gatekeep him? There are plenty of fish in the sea, and he’s one big catch. Ran believes she’s a big catch, too. With the way she loves dearly, her future boyfriend is going to be very lucky.

Her future boyfriend is not going to be him.

“...mber the required fieldwork in one of my majors I told you? We actually go by batches. The first batch did theirs last month. The second batch was last week… and I— Ran, are you listening?”

“Ah! Yes,” Ran notices they have already reached her station and are now walking two blocks to her apartment. “Your fieldwork, right?”

“...Yeah,” he carries on. “I’m in the last batch... This whole winter break.”

“I see, I understand.” She smiles, getting what he means. No Christmas or New Year’s Eve together. The first time since they’re four. It’s fine, honestly. If it’s a required activity, then there’s really no way to go about it. She isn’t going to lash out just because she can’t be with him in her most favorite time of the year.

“And Hattori-kun and Hakuba-kun will be with you?”

“Hattori did his last month. Hakuba is in the previous batch. I’ll be stuck with the girls.”

Ran’s heart momentarily squeezes. “Where will your fieldwork be?”

“In Akita.”

Her pupils constrict. “That far?”

“Yes... so to cut on expenses, Kaori-san offered her house for me and the others to stay while we’re there—”

Kaori. Again with the tall, beautiful, intelligent Kaori. She bets it’s amazing to spend the holidays doing what he loves and with Kaori beside her, snuggling with him by the fireplace in a romantic snowy night and she might even confess, and it’ll be a great catch for Shinichi, and he’ll return with a girlfriend, and—

“Kaori-san is lucky.” The words flow out of her mouth, unbridled.

Shinichi looks at her. “Lucky?”

Ran remains quiet and keeps walking. It’s dangerous to say anything. She only has one thing in her mind and she doesn’t want to say it out loud. She has no right.

“Ran, hey.”

She doesn’t stop walking.

“Ran.”

She ignores his call.

“Ran… you’re jealous.”

She stops walking.

“Excuse me?”

“...You’re jealous…” Shinichi repeats quietly.

A contrast to his calm tone, his irises beset hers in the cold twilight and Ran attempts to shield herself but her bag and umbrella are in the way. She thinks of turning away but her feet are frigid like icicles, and Shinichi steps closer.

For the third time, he declares, “You’re jealous.”

Hearing her thoughts echo through his words renders her speechless.

It seems to take a moment before Shinichi’s brow arches, lips curl up as his eyes refuse to stray, and she hears a faint exhale even, like he’s exasperated, and suddenly he’s smiling - or is he smirking? sneering? - and...and...

It stings, is her immediate reaction.

For the longest time, she’d wanted him to take a hint. But if she had known this was how he’d react, she’d rather live a life having him oblivious of her emotional struggle. Dealing with that is more tolerable than witnessing him gaze her down in blatant mockery. He sneers as though he’s about to crack a joke and move on and forget such a laughable matter. That’s the last form of acknowledgment she wants for her honest feelings.

Heartbreak and shame and pain build up in her chest like a volcano closing eruption. Water begins to cloud her vision. She clenches her fist tight on her umbrella and Shinichi notices, and he takes another step forward.

“Ran…?”

“I am not, and you’re a fool.”

In a span of a breath, she’s sprinting in the opposite direction, tracing the path where they have walked, ignoring the distant yells of her name behind her. She runs and runs, and as she runs farther, with her thoughts muddy and breath short and dry, she wonders if she may have overreacted.

If he’s done that on purpose, screw him. If not, screw her.

After all, they are merely friends and she has no logical reason to act this way.

“Stop... running... will you!”

She hears heavy footsteps close in. It takes all the energy Ran has to prevent herself from turning her body around but his strong grip overpowers her.

“Let me go!”

“Why are you running?!”

“I can’t...deal with you!”

“Why? Was I right?”

“Right or wrong, it doesn’t matter!”

“Why doesn’t it matter?”

“Because I am your best friend!”

On another occasion, she would’ve successfully jilted away and run farther, but Ran is floored when he yanks her into a one-armed hug, so floored she drops her umbrella to the snowy ground.

“Stop saying that!” he hisses in her ear, frustration apparent.

“What are you— Let me go!”

He hugs her tighter.

“If you don’t let go in three seconds, I will screa—”

“I am happy!”

Ran stops struggling, eyes widening in shock.

Icy huffs tickle her neck as he half shouts, “I’m happy you feel that way!”

“You’re...You’re happy because I’m suffering?”

“What? No! I—”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? How?” The hurt in her tone is impeccable, prattling muffled against his chest as she spares him no moment to butt in. “You think I wanted to feel this? That I enjoy griping in helpless jealousy? And you’re rejoicing that I am? How full of yourself can you be?!”

“That’s not...You don’t underst—”

“I do understand! I understand that I am so incredibly stupid for catching this disgusting heap of emotions for an obnoxious, stuck-up deduction maniac that is my best friend and maybe it’s better after all that he never, ever sees me the way I see him!”

“Stop saying that, Ran!”

She thinks he has broken away, but he drags her back with an insistent tug, crashing his lips onto hers as she stumbles into his arms.

All willpower rippling through her disintegrates quickly like snow in high heat.

An impatient pop resonates as he separates, eyes slowly opening, breath thick and ragged.

“I know that is not how we explain things, but does that explain anything?”

She hears it. The madness. But more than madness, yearning bleeds through his voice so much that her frustration turns into physical pain. Blinded by an all-consuming ache, she tips her chin and presses her lips back against his, demanding for cure in the wrong place. Shinichi freezes, then relaxes. He moves his hand to her nape, four fingers in her hair, thumb treading her jaw.

They look like a scene in a movie.

Under his umbrella and hidden from view, they communicate through brushing lips and tilting heads. His mouth closing over hers with gentle force, her hands splaying across his chest, heavy with something that makes his heart pound under them.

She is so lost in the chase and his tender embrace that for a second she forgets she is kissing her best friend.

Best friend.

This doesn’t explain anything. It worsens it.

She pulls back, ending what she has so recklessly started. “N-no, I’m— No.”

She pushes him away, gathers the stuff she drops, and runs without looking back.

“Ran!”

He shouts her name. Twice.

On the third call, his footfalls die down. On the fourth, he stops running.

She doesn’t.

Thirty minutes before midnight, Ran stands outside his gate, boots buried half foot under the snow as she rings his intercom for the second time, thinking to herself how foolish she must be to cut communications with him for a week and then show up his doorstep looking miserable like a stood-up date.

It’s the start of winter break.

He’ll leave for Akita in ten hours.

She needs to give his Christmas present before his departure.

She’s crazy, pathetic, still frustrated, and hurtfully in love.

“Oi. You better have a good explanation for why you’re buzzing at goddamn midnig—”

“Shinichi.”

His surprised gasp is apparent even through the intercom. A rustle follows and with a croaky voice, he responds. “...Ran.”

Surely he isn’t expecting this. Not after the tantrum she threw days ago. He probably thinks she hates him more than ever. But what she truly feels is more overwhelming than all negative emotions combined, and may god grant her all the strength to address it all, tonight.

“May I come in?”

“The house is—The house is a mess I, um. I’m packing my stuff for...”

“I’ll help you.”

“...”

She’ll understand if he decides to turn her down. But the answer that follows the deafening pause is a low and quiet ‘Okay’.

Despite psyching herself hours before she came, courage wanes when he opens the front door and gate in his pullovers. She is welcomed in, and the trip up his room is wordless. Shinichi only talks when he points out that he’s already packed clothes for two days and will need help for two weeks’ worth. He lamely laughs when he instructs her to pick the tops and layers, and he’ll take care of the pants and underwear.

On a normal instance, she would’ve humored him and they would’ve been talking right after. Now she simply pulls an empty smile and then they fall back into silence.

She supposes he’s trying to act unbothered, to treat what happened a week ago as a one-and-done glitch in their friendship, never to be discussed again. She cannot fault him when she’s trying to do the same. But it’s not easy when in the stillness of the night the echo of their altercation howls, raging persistently in their ears.

What has he been thinking of for the past week?

Has he been kept up all night by the words she said and the words he left unspoken?

Are they still friends? Will they still be friends after this?

The kiss... What about the kiss?

So many questions. So little words. So little time.

Ran is seated on the floor, folding shirts and stuffing them neatly in his duffel bag. Her back faces Shinichi who is sorting out bottoms in his cabinet. She senses him sit on the floor, back against her but not touching. Neither dares to speak first.

A ringing phone cuts the silence.

“Mm, still awake. Good for two weeks right? Gotcha. No, I’ll meet you girls at the station, no need to fetch me. Pfft. I can walk. Ok, see you tomorrow.”

If Ran wasn’t so hyperaware of where she is and what she’s done, her mood would’ve shifted to the one she’d been trying to avoid. Now isn’t the time to think about that. Midnight sneaking out to go to his house is something she wouldn’t do even on good days. She scans her bag on the far couch, deliberately bringing a bigger one to hide his gift. Maybe she can just sneak it in his bag and leave once she’s done and he’ll discover it only when he’s prefectures away. Brown has always suited him, and he’ll definitely find the overcoat useful as spare protective gear.

That’s right. She always cares for him like this. She is his best friend first, and... and nothing second.

“Don’t just leave after putting your present in my bag. At this hour, I can’t let you walk home alone,” he says swiftly.

Ran’s eyes fly wide.

“How did you…”

He doesn’t say anything and continues with his business.

Again with the throat-drying silence.

Something in Ran’s gut compels her to speak, but she is surprised when he does first.

“I... I don’t like Kaori-san. If that’s what you’re thinking.”

Ran stiffens, pausing mid-motion from folding. “I’m not…”

He leans his back completely against her and she shudders, voice reverberating through her skin. “Ran, if you could just hear me out.”

Unable to talk and move, she does.

“Kaori-san and the rest... They know I love mysteries. They know I want to build my own private detective agency. They know my favorite Holmes’ story is The Sign of Four. They know how many crimes I solved in Tokyo. All the information about me which anyone can read from the internet and newspaper and from what I told them when they ask, they know. Ran, you know all that. All that and more.”

He angles his head to the ceiling as if he’s talking to someone there. Ran supports his weight, curling to her knees as she silently listens.

“You know of my first ever deduction because Christ, my first deduction was about you. You know of the two cases which haunt me until this day because I watched the culprit die in front of my very eyes. You were with me the nights I locked myself in here thinking about them. You know of the interesting, the boring, the absurd cases, everything, because I told you or you were there. You know of the odd way I play the violin while I ponder over a case. You know I forget to eat when swamped with new books to read. I have three copies of The Sign of Four but the one I keep beside my bed and read almost weekly is the one you gave me on my tenth birthday and that is all I need. You know me for me, Ran. Everything about me that is off the record, the good and the bad, you know all of those. Only you. The same way I do... about you.”

She feels him crane slightly to the side, addressing her.

“Ran.”

“Mm.”

“I love you.”

Ran’s heart almost completely stops beating.

“I love you,” he whispers, “more than I am even supposed to.”

All words seem to have fizzled out of her vocabulary as she sits still, stunned at what she’s hearing.

“I’m happy growing up with you, studying with you, bickering with you, acting stupid with you, investigating with you, eating with you, napping with you, hugging you, holding you, taking care of you, simply... being with you. Before I know it, it’s not the cases or Holmes or mysteries that complete my days, it’s you.

“For you to keep repeating that ‘best friend’ phrase, I…” He lowers his head.

“For who knows how long, I’ve loved you as that and more.”

Someone pinch her because in no way can this be real.

“I was happy thinking you’re jealous because it meant a sliver of chance you feel the same way. We could’ve remedied the misunderstanding easily, Ran. We could’ve talked it over like we always do. But I was stupid and emotions were high and in the end I… kissed you…” he takes another deep breath, “But—but you kissed me back, and my heart couldn’t stay still...”

Pulse drumming loud, Ran tilts her head on the side where he leans, wanting to see the slightest expression he makes as he continues.

“If my deductions are wrong and you’re mad for a different reason, and—and you returned that for a different reason...” she hears the pang of remorse in his tone, “then please forget I ever said anything and I’ll leave myself to die in humiliation once I’m out of your sight.”

He lays one palm flat on the floor and she notices.

“But if my deductions are right and you were indeed jealous, I...” She feels his head swivel enough to feel his warm breath fan across her cheek, before shifting back front and releasing a slow, guttural exhale he’s kept contained within.

“I’ll wait... until you accept it. Accept me.”

Ran may have choked on her throat for how long she’s held her breath.

In spite of herself, she knows she doesn’t need to think of what to say. She had it all in her head before coming here. Yet expressing it out loud is a different matter.

She isn’t ready, but when will she ever be ready? Shinichi undoubtedly isn’t too. Yet here he is, laying the groundwork for her, no holds barred and a stuttering mess at that. How she plans to build from it is the question she asks herself next.

Inhaling as though bracing herself, she places a hand beside him, pinky slightly grazing his.

“I didn’t... You never showed any signs.”

Careful and calm, he extends his little finger over hers. She doesn’t flinch, and both hands crawl closer until two fingers overlap.

“Either I’m a great pretender or you’re incredibly dense.”

“I’m...I’m not dense.”

“I’m a bad actor, then.” He slides his hand further.

“I was trying so hard to be a supportive best friend for you.”

“I sensed that but ignored it because I didn’t want to assume anything.”

“You did though. Now we’re here.”

“Would you rather we aren’t?”

“I would rather we spend the last weeks of this year talking like normal than being stupid idiots before you leave.”

“It’s just two weeks, Ran.”

“Two special weeks I would’ve wanted to spend with my best frien-... with you.”

Without knowing it, his hand has completely nestled atop hers, four fingers curled between her thumb and index finger.

“Ran... You must really hate the idea of falling in love with me.”

“Eh?”

“You’re so wrapped with the thought that we’re simply best friends that you hold your love in chains as though it isn’t permitted to grow.”

“I… I didn’t want to ruin the only connection we have-”

“Two friends falling in love are still friends… They are also more. You cannot ruin an indefeasible connection. Friendship and love may be the only bond we have, but they’re the most important bond of all.”

Ran falls quiet.

“Geez…”

He releases a thick sigh, brushes his thumb across her splayed fingers.

“I have shit art appreciation skills, but I can take you to museums too... as a friend and as a date.” A beat, and a mumble. “Even to better museums than Tokyo Metropolitan Art Museum.”

She darts her head sideways, realizing something.

“Were you also…?”

“No.”

Ran doesn’t suppress the heartfelt giggle that bubbles out.

“Shun-san has a boyfriend, Shinichi.”

“I—” he pauses. “I wasn’t asking.” Ran giggles more.

“Shinichi.”

“Yes.”

“I love you too.”

The hand above squishes hers all too suddenly like he’s been blown away and is needing something to hold onto.

“I came here to give your present and to apologize for being so shallow and for acting without thinking and for a lot of things actually... but now I feel there’s no need, because then I wouldn’t have...” She looks down at their intertwined hands.

Before she can return his squeeze, he recoils.

“Oh, y-you do apologize. Running away like that.” He coughs, and she can practically hear the tripping in his tone.

“Aren’t you already used to it? I’ve done it many times,” she chides.

“No. Apologize,” he insists. “And look at me while you do.”

Ran’s stomach twists, heart kicking up a step.

It’s easy to talk without eye contact, but to be requested so after confessions are exchanged—

“Face me, Ran.”

The familiar voice of yearning strums her heartstrings, tone sounding a lot like a plea than an order and Ran finds her head instinctively craning at an angle, hand coiling on the floor trying to calm her nervous beating heart. She feels him shift behind as well.

She takes all her time to face him, partly unsure what to do, partly knowing exactly what she wants to do. Despite the deliberate slowness of their movements, it is when they lock eyes that time truly seems to stop.

Shinichi appears so different, so soulful. His blue irises glimmering, fixated on nothing but her as she reveres him with matching intensity. The same guy she treats as her best friend looks at her with tender love in his eyes, darting down her lips and up like no best friend ever would.

“I love you,” he says, breathless. “Make me your boyfriend.”

A wave of emotion sweeps over her, heartbeat fluttering in overdrive as they huddle on the floor, bags and clothes and time forgotten.

“From best friend to... such a shift-”

“Nothing will be different.” He rests his forehead on hers, gaze of soft blue patient though more intimate now, knowing what they share is mutual. “We’ll still do what we do... With exclusive romantic commitment and sweet nothings that translate to ‘I love you’ in more ways than one.”

She attempts a jab on his chest but he catches her fist, soft but jesting beam all too apparent and she does but play along.

“What about when we fight?” she asks.

“Same. But...” he slides a thumb over her quiet lips, parting them slightly, “I can do this once we make up.”

“...Like right now?”

“Like right now.”

A genuine smile is the last thing she sees before delicate pair of lips lands on hers, capping their one-week fight and their last night of the year together in the best and most unexpected way imaginable.

Ran keeps telling herself she shouldn’t be jealous.

Not because they are simply best friends, because they aren’t. Not because life would be easier if she didn’t involve herself in his business twenty-four seven, because it wouldn’t.

Not because Shinichi doesn’t look at her that way, because he does.

She shouldn’t be jealous because she absolutely has no reason to, is all.

“I haven’t forgotten about your present. I was planning to buy yours in Akita.”

“Stop lying, you totally forgot it.”

“I didn’t. Stop that.” Half-mast eyes rake her side profile, and Ran covers a mirthful grin with her mitted hand holding the umbrella, then yawns. Hours of packing and talking and laughing left them with roughly four hours of sleep. It isn’t like she slept the whole period because while sleeping in his room isn’t new, cuddling while they sleep is. Ran couldn’t simply shut her eyes and heart to that.

“I believe though,” he wraps a hand around her free one, pocketing both of them in his brand new overcoat, “I gave half of my present already.”

“Hnn. That doesn’t count as a gift.” Her hand shifted, coddling his own to a warm fit.

“Really?” A smug smirk pulls up his face. “I believe I am a nice present, Ran. That’s why they—”

“Screw this. You are unbelievable. A humbug. Why do people like you.”

“I know. Why do you like me?” Shinichi laughs as he avoids the swing of her umbrella.

From afar, they see Kaori and the girls at the meet-up point outside Tokyo Station, though they seem unaware of their presence yet. Suddenly feeling conscious, Ran feels the urge to disentangle her hand, but Shinichi holds on, firm.

“Why?” He asks in a low voice.

“I dunno… maybe this isn’t the best time…”

“Isn’t now the best time?” His smile is proud and natural, not one ounce of reluctance visible.

Although she gets what he means, that doesn’t free her of shyness and guilt. Somehow she feels like apologizing to Kaori for… she doesn’t know. She just wants to. Letting her see them like this makes her think that she’s giving her an indirect slap on the face. Shinichi certainly won’t agree because ‘What’s with women and their logic?’, but still, whether or not it’s all in her head, Ran needs more time to prepare for this.

But to her surprise, Shinichi lets go of her hand. They are still a few feet from view when he steps in front of her and turns around. “Maah, fine, I get it,” he huffs, then smiles. “Then, just give me your umbrella.”

The moment she does, Shinichi closes their distance and dips his face onto hers. Ran is given no leeway to gasp as loving lips seal her quiet. It isn’t as long as what they shared a week ago, but the emotions are loaded and full, speaking fond thanks and temporary farewell.

She doesn’t realize she has closed her eyes until he separates, and she’s met with the most tender, most angelic expression he wears only on the rarest occasions. He’s saying without telling that her feelings are valid, she doesn’t have to worry, and he doesn’t have eyes for anyone but her. Somehow, the snow is the sea and fish are swarming around but neither cares because they have already caught each other.

“You don’t have to, silly.” Three layers of pink blanket Ran’s puffy cheeks.

“But I want to.” Grinning, Shinichi hands her back the umbrella. “You don’t like hand-holding. You don’t like being seen. Don’t you think that’s a great compromise?”

“Idiot, many people saw...”

“No, they didn’t!” Upping the duffel bag slung on his shoulder, he steps back and gives her one last goofy beam. “I’ll see you next year, Ran. I’ll call as often as I can.”

Wordlessly, Ran watches Shinichi’s back as he jogs to his waiting companions, who by then have already had their eyes pinned on the approaching figure.

“That is Shinichi-kun! ...And Mouri-san!”

“Ehhh!!?! You’re a thing!”

So much for being subtle, Ran flushes inwardly as she returns the wave the other girls are giving her. At that moment she really does feel immature for her past conduct. All of them are sweet. Even Kaori.

“I knew it Shinichi-kun! Mouri-san is sooo lucky, I’m so jealous!” Ran hears their banter and sees her jab his bicep before acknowledging her. “We’ll take care of him, Mouri-san!”

The Ran from one week ago would’ve had her heart crushed by such declaration, but now she’s nothing but pleased and the smile that forms across her lips is nothing but honest. “Make sure he doesn’t drag your group into a random dead body, Kaori-san!”

“Hey!” surfaces Shinichi’s shout amidst the mincing laughter of the group and the onlooking passers-by, and Ran bids her last wave before they enter the station.

Smiling to herself, Ran returns home, the lingering promise of his kiss committed to memory, knowing that she doesn’t have to get jealous because she has no reason to. Their indefeasible bond is all the assurance she needs.

#shinran #kiss prompts #fanfic #lmk anon(s) if you see this and if you do then yaaay #thank you for requesting!#and thank you for reading!#:')#I have a love-hate relationship with this fic #it's only supposed to be 4 scenes #oh well it is what it is lmao #it's ok ig since this is the last (awww) from the kiss prompts!#😌#I tried so hard with a jealous Ran haha #jealous fics are good reads but writing them is hard :O

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koolkat9 · 3 years

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Hetalia Poly Ship Week: Day 4

@hetalia-polyship-week

I’m so sorry this is a day late. Life got a bit hectic and I had a bit of trouble finding my footing with uni so...yeah...this also turned out pretty long. But here it is. This was actually so fun to write despite life being crappy these past two days. Forgive this little rant, onto the fic!

Prompt: Fairytale

Relationship: GerFruk (though it's not super romantic, more like meeting each other for the first time)

Word Count: 2022

Author’s Note: This takes place in a world where all traditional fairytales exist, but what happens when characters of those fairytales collide one fateful night?

Francis-> Rapunzel (Rapunzel)

Ludwig-> Cinderella (Cinderella)

Arthur-> Beauty and the Beast (Beast)

At Midnight

God his feet were killing him. One night. One night was all Ludwig had asked for and now he was running through the forest with only one boot and tattered clothing. But that’s what he got for trusting a pesky fairy and losing track of time. Eventually, he came upon a clearing and decided to stop for a moment and gain his bearings.

He hadn’t thought this through. First, he didn’t keep track of the time, second, he ran without even thinking as to where he was going to go, and of all places, he headed towards the forest. Now he was lost in the middle of the night, freezing cold, probably a long way from any form of help. At least it was far better than home.

Which brought up another question. If he did find someone or his way back to town, where would he go? Home? Could it even be called that when you weren’t even welcomed there, no one to love and worked to the bone by those who should? But what other place was there when you were penniless?

Just when Ludwig thought all hope was lost, he heard a faint voice coming from the trees in front of him. Without any other lead, he began making his way towards the sound, hoping that whoever it was could help him find his way out of here.

He was led to another clearing, but in the center of this one stood a tower overgrown by vines and other plant life. Ludwig would have assumed it was abandoned if not for the blond man at the top singing away. It was beautiful, He was beautiful with long blond hair that went way past his shoulders. As he went in for a closer look, he stepped on a twig, snapping it and bringing attention to himself. The man in the tower immediately stopped, cowering into the stone walls, but still peeking out to survey the situation. “Who’s there?” he asked, voice wavering slightly.

Ludwig made his way right under the window so the man could see him. “I apologize for starling you, but I seem to have gotten lost-”

“Mon Dieu, what happened to you?”

Ludwig looked down at his ripped garments, ruined by his step-siblings before looking back up. “A little family altercation. But that doesn’t matter now. Do you by chance know the way back to town?”

The man’s eyes went wide. “There is a town near here?” he asked, sticking his head out the window.

“Uh...yes...I-I take it that means you don’t know.”

The man was silent for a moment, not looking at Ludwig and instead, his gaze was cast straight ahead as if in thought. “Hello?” Ludwig called to get the man’s attention again.

“Oh… sorry. Yeah… No, I'm sorry I don’t.” He looked around before continuing, “But I can’t just leave you out here like this. Give me a moment mon cher.” There was a light thumping from above then a loud crash signaling the fall of something. To Ludwig’s relief, it was followed by a string of French curses which let him know the man above was okay. Said man returned to the window moments later, throwing a thick rope down, or at least what appeared to be a rope. When Ludwig took hold of the rope he realized it was actually hair, the man’s hair to be exact. Ludwig looked up, given the man a concerned look.

“Don’t worry. I’ve done this dozens of times, I’ll be fine.”

With a deep breath, Ludwig began his climb with the man helping him by pulling him up. Soon enough he was safely in the confines of the tower.

“Couldn’t I have just used the door?” Ludwig asked.

“Unfortunately the stairs are broken. Oh please, come sit, sit.” The man took hold of Ludwig’s wrist, guiding him towards a couch.

Ludwig quirked a brow at the man’s answer. If the stairs were broken how did he get down? He couldn’t use his own hair, could he?

“So what should I call you mon cher?”

“Ah...ah...Ludwig. And you?”

“Francis! It's nice to meet you.” The man, Francis, was quiet for a moment before adding, "So there really is a village nearby?”

“Yes. Why? Have you never been?”

Francis gave a sad smile. “I can’t say I have. I haven't even been out of the tower since I was little."

Ludwig was taken aback by this. After a few moments of trying to reach for something to say, he figured there was nothing he could. "I'm sorry to hear that," he stated instead. "Not that it is the exact same, but I wasn't exactly allowed outside much either."

Francis sighed "My mother is just protective. I wonder if she's aware of how close we are to town. Perhaps that would make her trips shorter. Then again it's nice to be rid of her for a few days."

"At least she loves you. Mine only keeps me around to do the housework, cooking, and use as a verbal punching bag."

“Oh, Ludwig.” Francis gave him a sympathetic look before surprisingly pulling him into a hug. It was nice. Ludwig couldn’t recall the last time he had a hug. It was probably right before his brother died and all this hell began. Hesitantly, he returned the action, wrapping his arms around the Frenchman’s waist.

He smelled like lavender and his embrace was so warm that Ludwig felt himself melting against him. For a moment the thought of just staying here crossed his mind. The hug and thought were cut short however by the sound of crashing below.

Francis and Ludwig pulled away, looking at each other before turning towards the trap door that was supposed to lead to the stairs and entrance. They silently agreed to ignore it, but when another bang was heard below, Ludwig decided he should at least try to see what it was. He quietly made his way over to the door before carefully throwing it open.

Below was dark and he could barely make out the large silhouette of some creature below. It grunted as if in pain, its shoulders shaking.

“Get me a candle,” Ludwig ordered. Francis stumbled off the couch they were sitting on before collecting a candle and match and lighting the wick.

When Ludwig brought the light down to get a better look at the creature he found golden fur wrapped in what appeared to be a cloak. The beast snapped its head towards them showing a wolf-like face with fangs protruding. Ludwig fell back out of shock and a bit of fear. He had read about such monstrous creatures in books when he was a child and how they came to eat naughty children in the dark of night. Despite this, he found himself peeking down once more when he heard it whimper, ignoring Francis’ whispers of concern and protest.

The beast looked up at him with pleading green eyes, ears pulled back in discomfort. Upon further inspection, the blond fur was mixed with the crimson of blood. Something in Ludwig’s heart twisted and he was unable to leave it there. He looked around for a way to get himself down. “Francis, you think I could lower me down?”

The blond gave him a horrified look. “What the hell are you thinking? I don’t know what’s down there, but judging by your reaction it can’t be good. Mother told me all about evil creatures-”

“You don’t have to come down, but I’m going.”

Though he grumbled some more protests, Francis lowered his hair down, giving Ludwig a rope to climb.

The lower level was damp and musty. Ludwig held onto the candle tightly as he approached the figure which had frozen up. “Hello?” Ludwig called only to receive a ferocious roar in return. He stiffened, but pushed on. “I don’t know if you can understand me, but I want to help you.”

The beast cowered away. It seemed more scared than anything. “Wait right here,” Ludwig said before returning below the trap door. “Francis, could you get me bandages or something to wrap up some wounds.” Francis disappeared from above, but shuffling could be heard.

“I’m coming down,” Francis announced, reappearing. “I’m not letting you face this alone mon ami.”

Before Ludwig could protest, Francis was jumping down and Ludwig had no choice but to catch him.

This earned a growl from the creature. Francis hid behind Ludwig at the sound. “All bark, no bite,” Ludwig whispered in assurance. “Do you have the bandages?”

Francis handed some clothes over. Not ideal, but they’d work. Cautiously, he approached the beast who was cowering into the corner he was in. “It's okay,” Ludwig murmured, “we just want to help you.”

When he got closer, he noticed where the blood was coming from, a nasty gash on the creature’s side. Crouching down to get a better view, Ludwig pushed a cloth against it. The beast snarled in pain, but relaxed ever so slightly as Ludwig began to wrap up the wound. Francis had also made his way over, petting the head of the creature in comfort.

“It's like a big puppy,” Francis laughed lightly, earning a growl from the beast. The Frenchman backed up, scared it would snap, but it didn’t. Still, Francis decided it was best to keep his distance.

Ludwig only shook his head before finishing up the wrapping. “There. That should be good for now,” he sighed, standing up once more.

“Thank you…”

Francis and Ludwig look towards each other and then at the beast.

“This is when you say you’re welcome,” the beast grumbled, sitting himself up.

“You can talk?” Francis breathed.

“Yes. How rude of you to assume otherwise.”

For something so big and scruffy, the creature spoke quite eloquently though sharply and his accent posh and proper.

Francis went to bite back, but Ludwig interrupted. “So...What’s your name? Mine’s Ludwig and this is Francis.”

“Arthur.”

They lapsed into a silence, Ludwig and Francis trying to make sense of it all and Arthur glaring at the two. Once he had regained his bearings, Arthur pulled himself up and began dragging himself towards the door. “Well, you’ve been quite hospitable, but I really should get going," he noted sarcastically.

“Wait,” Ludwig said, jumping to his feet, “you are in no shape to be up.”

“And what do you suggest I do? Wait down here in the mud and mold. No thank you.”

“You could always stay upstairs with me and Lud,” Francis suggested.

“And how do you suppose we get up there without stairs?” Arthur sneered.

“Good point.”

The three returned to silence, thinking of what to do next.

Arthur sighed. “Okay… Here’s an idea. My castle isn’t that far from here. If you are so concerned about me you can accompany me there and as payment for your help you can stay there for tonight.”

Francis' brows furrowed, a hesitant look crossing his face. “Francis, you don’t have to come," Ludwig said. "I’m sure I can manage on my own.”

“Non. I’ll come. I’ve been locked up here far too long. Plus...it's not like I can get back up anyway and my mother will...she’ll be...so mad if she finds everything like this.”

That statement worried Ludwig far more than it should have. He tried not to think about it or the fearful look in Francis’ eye. Instead, he turned his attention to Arthur. He helped steady the beast, wrapping his arm (paw? claw?) around his shoulder to support him. Francis followed suit on the other side. With that settled they took off into the night, following Arthur's directions

It was truly a strange night. What was supposed to be his night to relax and forget about his troubles turned into one of adventure... which came with new troubles. But as Ludwig walked through the forest with Arthur and Francis he couldn’t help but feel free, relieved, like his life was changing for the better. He shook his head, telling himself he was just tired and everything was strange which lead to this feeling. Right now what mattered was getting Arthur to that castle.

(I may continue this once I finish up with ‘In the Deep.’ Gosh, so many fic ideas, so little time)

#hetalia poly ship week 2021 #hetalia poly ship week #hetalia #hws #gerfruk #gerfra #gereng #geruk #fruk #hws france #hws germany #hws england #first meet #first meeting #fairytale au #fanfiction #hetalia fanfiction

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straight-into-the-animus · 3 years

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A Place For Crows To Rest Their Feet (French Fryes)

Cause some people were interested in the idea of older French Fryes apparently and I thought I’d try my hand at it.

Song title and fic inspo from Marbles by The Amazing Devil

Read on Ao3

Arno felt old.

Well, he was old. It was made sure of that when at his last milestone birthday that everyone decided to overload the cake with candles representing his age. He had been able to laugh it off as a joke then. But now everytime he looked in the mirror and saw a new wrinkle near his eyes and mouth, he scowled.

When he saw his favorite music being relegated to the classic station, he flipped the channel.

And when it was cold and rainy and shitty outside and he had difficulty getting out of bed, he grumbled.

Jacob always just laughed at his perturbed expression and would say that they didn’t need to get out of bed anyway and would snuggle in for a few hours more.

Even though he knew Jacob never meant anything by the things he said, it still made him feel bad. His husband was only a few years younger than him. But the problem was he didn’t look that bad, and if he felt old he never told Arno. He was already aging like fine wine. Arno felt like aged milk.

Jacob had noticed once before, when Arno pointedly avoided looking in the mirror while they were hip to hip in the bathroom getting ready for the day.

“‘ou a’righ’?” He asked around a toothbrush.

“Hmm?” He asked, toweling off and looking over as Jacob spat out the paste and washed his mouth out before trying again.

“You alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I dunno. You just seem… off. Didn’t even hear one ABBA song in the shower, either.” He smiled a bit, trying to get Arno to copy. Which he did, but it was gone rather quickly.

“I’m fine, mon amour. Just tired, still.” He wrapped the towel around his waist, pecked Jacob’s cheek and made to leave, but got pulled back. Jacob kissed him deeply, the taste of mint still on his tongue and making Arno hum; his husband’s mouth was still practically sinful after all this time. Jacob pulled away and then went back in for one more peck on Arno’s lips, leaving both of them smiling.

“Love you.”

“I love you, too.” Arno said, meaning it completely as he left to go get dressed.

He tried to make sure that was the end of it, or at least to keep it out of sight of Jacob. But then his pride went down like a kick in the balls when he woke up one morning and saw the roots of his hair turning gray. Like ash gray. Like old gray. He’d gone out to the shops immediately and found the darkest box color for his hair that he could and shoved it in the back of their linen closet the minute he came to his senses.

Really, it was a bad idea. If he did it, he’d have questions no one wanted to hear and explanations he really didn’t want to give. And Jacob would find out anyway. But it was an impulse purchase he didn’t think through and so he hid it until the time was right, if it ever would be.

And then Jacob noticed him as he entered the living room and let Arno in on their small couch to watch whatever inane reality show they both liked, and then he forgot about it, because how could you remember anything at that point?

It didn’t take too long for his husband to find it out, though.

“Care to explain this?” Jacob said, coming into the dining room where Arno was trying to clean, and Arno turned too quickly at the tone in his voice and stubbed his toes on the thick table leg.

“Merde-!”

“Jesus, Arno- Don’t try and die on me now.” Jacob went over quickly as Arno sat in one of the chairs, placing something on the table as he pulled up the other chair next to Arno’s. Arno waved him away and curled up his hurt foot to rub it.

“Don’t touch it.”

“Drama queen. Do you need me to get the first aid kit? Or do you think you’ll live?”

“You’re hilarious. Have I mentioned that before?”

“Only on days that end in “y”.” Jacob replied, and Arno stewed a bit. It didn’t take long for him to look over at whatever it was Jacob had brought into the room, and he grew a bit pale. Jacob, of course, because he had such a great eye when he wanted to, noticed immediately. “Figured it was yours.”

Arno didn’t grace him with a response at first. But the silence wouldn’t give.

“I found some gray hairs.” He mumbled.

“Yeah… Those tend to happen when you make it a few decades.”

“It doesn’t mean I have to like it! I don’t want to get old, Jacob. I’ll be… Gross, and senile, and you’ll hate me.”

“Please tell me you’re joking. You are joking?”

Arno flexed his hurt foot and quickly set it down, making to leave but stopped as Jacob grabbed his wrist and sat him back down in the chair.

“You know what I like so much about you getting old?” Jacob didn’t wait for Arno to answer. “It shows you made it.”

Arno almost made a rebuttal, but stopped when he tried to parse through the words and actually think about them.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’ve known you for decades.” Jacob still held Arno’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. “Since Uni. And you did the dumbest shit. I’m surprised we’ve gotten to this point without you needing a liver transplant.”

Arno looked down. He knew exactly what Jacob was talking about. He had been twenty two and having daily panic attacks about leaving university to actually be a person. Most relationships with girls and some guys were limited to one quick go in bed and then he was gone in the morning.

Jacob hadn’t been much better off emotionally, or financially, but at least he knew how to handle his shit better. They made an interesting match that way.

“You’re getting old because you’re alive. And I get to see that.”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Well it isn’t.”

Silence overtook for a few minutes as Arno looked down and Jacob studied him.

“Then I guess you must really hate me looking old.” Jacob said.

“I could never. And the difference is, you look good. You still have cute waitresses flirting with you despite the ring.”

“You mean from the diner last week?” Jacob raised an eyebrow. “Leanna had to be forty. And she was just being friendly.”

“She certainly wasn’t giving extra ketchup to me.”

“I would’ve given it to you.”

“So generous.”

“One of my best qualities.” Jacob murmured as Arno’s eyes remained dropped. A hand moved up to Arno’s cheek, and he realized Jacob’s pointer finger was tracing the lines near his mouth and the crows feet on his eyes. “Didn’t marry you for nothing, you know. I knew what I was getting into. And even if you turn out to be a grumpy old hunchback who can’t walk, I would still choose you if I had the choice.”

Arno felt his eyes start to glass over the longer Jacob spoke. It wasn’t some great speech. It was simple, and short, and matter of fact, and just… Jacob. Just as he had been for decades. And it sounded just as sincere now as it sounded when they were much younger men and first said they loved each other. And it was as sincere as when they had finally gotten married not even a decade ago. Arno had a shaky smile and squeezed Jacob’s hand, allowing the other one to keep exploring the tracks in his face.

“‘Sides,” Jacob purred as he leaned in closer, a gleam in his eyes, “being older just means you’re full of experience. And how could anyone say no to that?”

“Jacob-” He didn’t even know where he was going with his sentence, but it hardly mattered when he felt a warm pair of lips on his neck, making their way up his face. He turned his head at the right time and caught Jacob’s lips with his own. They both smiled, a soft thing.

“I love you.” Arno said.

“Love you too. Drama queen.” Jacob smirked as Arno rolled his eyes affectionately.

“Maybe stop putting up such high standards and I’ll consider taking a step back on my quest for perfection.”

“Sorry, I can’t. I gotta put in work to keep you in love with me. Sure as hell it isn’t my personality keeping you locked up.”

“Certainly not.” Arno snorted, leaning in and resting against Jacob. The man held him for a minute before speaking again.

“You believe me yet? That you’re good? And we’re good? Even if you get old?”

“I’ll work on it.” Arno admitted. Whether it was what Jacob wanted to hear or not, he was still welcomed in and let to rest for a while longer.

“Let’s move this to bed so we don’t stiffen up, eh?”

“You’re not going to carry me like you used to?” Arno asked teasingly as Jacob helped him stand up out of the chair. The man shrugged.

“Can’t. I’m too old.”

It wasn’t funny. It really wasn’t. But Arno laughed until he coughed, anyway.

They ended up throwing the box color out with much prejudice. And when Jacob started growing his own gray hairs, looking like a salt and pepper shaker, Arno just ran his fingers through each one while they watched inane reality television.

So. I ended up creating a whole other backstory for these two but found I couldn’t fit it in to the story, lol. If you’d be interested in that as well, let me know.

I hope you enjoy! If you do I have a Masterpost here and more ideas for writings and prompts here, so feel free to request! If you’d like to support me, I have a ko-fi here but absolutely no pressure on that front. Have a wonderful day and thank you for reading!

#assassin's creed #french fryes #arno dorian #jacob frye #my writings

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chrwrites · 4 years

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Coffee Cups

@lovebugs-and-snakecharmers Sprint Fic Challenge Prompt:“Oh no, he’s hot!”

read on ao3

The small coffee shop she found on her way to college on a rainy day quickly became Marinette’s favourite place. The staff always welcomed every client with a genuine smile, it was her quiet corner in a hectic city like New York. Sometimes, when she missed her family too much, she would spend the whole afternoon after her courses there, just to feel something close to the familiar warmth home had. She became a regular, the employees knew her and they prepared her order just as soon as they saw her walk through the door. She had found her own piece of heaven in the chaos her college work brought her, not to mention that the coffee was great.

She had become so accustomed to that small café and it’s employees that when Rachel, the girl who usually stayed at the counter and sometimes spoiled her with a few more cookies than she’d ordered when she had a rough day at uni, told her that she was quitting the job, she felt somewhat sad, and she was sure that whoever was going to replace her would have never been as good as her.

At least, that’s what she thought until she walked into the café and saw him.

The boy standing at the counter had the most beautiful smile Marinette had ever seen, and he welcomed warmly her and Alya as they entered. He was tall and even through the apron that covered his figure, Marinette could see that he was pretty well-built. His jaw was sharp and it reminded her of some sculptures she had only seen in museums. It was sculpted by Michelangelo himself.

His hair was short and black on the sides, and the longer part on the top was dyed blue and fell unruly on his forehead, right above his blue eyes.

His right brow was decorated with a black piercing, and his ears were embellished by black plugs and black rings on the superior part. His calm and cordial attitude contrasted his appearance and that’s what struck Marinette the most.

He was gorgeous.

“Good morning, what can I get for you today?”, he said, and his voice made him even more attractive than Marinette thought he already was, it was smooth and deep, and she would have listened to him talk forever. She kept staring at him, too mesmerized for the words to come out of her mouth.

Alya nudged at her and she shook herself from her thoughts, “Uh I… yes…”, she nodded, and the boy raised his eyebrow at her “And what can I serve you?” he repeated kindly.

Marinette mentally slapped herself. Don’t make a fool of yourself, you’ve grown up now.

“Can I have…” You? Your number? Please? “a Chanel Mercato, please?” she said, feeling her cheeks flaming when she realized what she had said. Shit.

The boy gave her a confused look, “I’m afraid we don’t have that”.

“Oh! Yeah. S-sorry. I can’t function properly when – a cute boy is looking at me the way you do – I haven’t had my coffee yet”, she gave an awkward smile trying to brush it off, “I meant a Caramel Macchiato. And a raspberry croissant. Please…”

The boy nodded and she looked at him as he wrote her order on a cup. A black snake was wrapped around his right forearm, its head reached the back of his hand right above his thumb, and Marinette wondered how his big hands would have felt if they were caressing her skin. And now that his gaze turned at her again and his lips were moving slowly, she wondered how could an action like this be so fascinating to her eyes. Oh wait- what did he say? Was he talking to her?

Marinette got back to reality only when Alya poked at her side again.

“You know, as much as I’d like to keep looking at your pretty face, I have to serve other people. So, if you could give me your name…” he said, accompanying the words with a slow grin. He sounded so calm and collected but Marinette felt herself short-circuit at his words. Did he just call her pretty? Breathe Marinette, it’s not like the most handsome boy you’ve ever seen called you anything. He’s just doing his job and he’s being polite. Just this. Get yourself together.

Marinette took a deep breath before she could speak again, and when she finally was ready to say her name, her mouth let out a gabbled “Ma-Ma-Marinette”, and she really wished the ground would swallow her up. As if she didn’t embarrass herself enough, she added, “And thank you??? You’re beautiful as well. I mean husb- I mean ho- pretty as well.” she blabbered. Oh, she wished she could sew her mouth shut now.

She winced and lowered her head, and she kept looking at the floor as she walked to the other side of the counter to grab her order. Alya, who was right next to her, burst into laughter as soon as they reached an empty table.

“Oh, I thought you stopped getting all worked up in front of cute boys! I kind of missed that”, she snickered.

Marinette didn’t say anything, she just put her head in her hands and sighed heavily. She really wanted to scream. What was happening to her? It wasn’t fair, she had just embarrassed herself in front of the cutest guy she had ever met. What did he think of her now? She missed Rachel already.

“This is bad, stop laughing!” she whined at her friend, who looked way too amused by her behaviour. She lifted her head to grab her cup and noticed that he had spelled her name in the way she said it to him.

Ma-Ma-Marinette was followed by a little winking smiley.

As exaggerating as it may sound, Marinette felt overwhelmed. She felt weak and all she could think of were those deep blue eyes that looked at her, and the smiley face he had drawn next to her name. She really needed to lay down for a moment.

“Please, tell me you didn’t skip class today because you couldn’t handle someone calling you pretty” Alya chocked on a laugh when Marinette complained to her on the phone that evening.

“I skipped just the first one!” she said, “I really needed to get myself together you know?” she groaned in frustration. “Have you seen him? I wasn’t expecting to see someone so gorgeous today and he called me pretty and I made a fool of myself in front of him!” she sighed.

What could she do now? She contemplated not going to that café anymore while she was laying down, but was it worth it? She didn’t want to give up that small piece of heaven she had found in New York, and she also wished she could make it up for that morning at least, and prove to the cute boy she wasn’t the stammering mess he met that day.

She also kind of hoped that he would forget about her the next day. Why was she like this?

After a whole 30-minute conversation where Alya tried to convince Marinette not to give up her favourite coffee spot, she decided she would have gone back to the café. He called her pretty after all, maybe she was making a big deal out of nothing. Who doesn’t get all awkward when they see someone as hot as that guy?

When she went back to the café the next day he was still the most gorgeous guy she’d ever seen. He smiled softly at her, and she looked around the place as she walked to the counter. Luckily, there wasn’t anyone behind her waiting to order and she could have the chance to talk to him calmly.

“What can I get for you today, Ma-Ma-Marinette?” he said, and his voice was as welcoming and warm as the day before, maybe even sweeter than the caramel macchiato she always got. This made the fact that he still remembered her sting a little less. Calm down Marinette, don’t mess it up this time.

“A C-Caramel Macchiato and a raspberry croissant, please” she said, mentally high fiving herself for not stammering too much this time.

He handed her the order with a smile and wished her a nice day; their hands brushed against each other for a moment before she grabbed her cup.

Marinette felt her insides go wobbly before she put her order on a table and sat down. She could still feel his gaze on her but that was probably her imagination. She grabbed her cup, and that’s when she noticed that he hadn’t written her name on it.

I meant what I said the other day, you’re really beautiful -L.

Marinette’s eyes widened and she blinked as she examined the cup, making sure she’d read that correctly. His calligraphy was clear, and she pinched herself to make sure she wasn’t still dreaming. He called her beautiful this time.

And she had an initial! Not his name, but an L., that was a good starting point! Too bad the coffee shop didn’t give the employees name tags.

She flushed when she re-read her cup, and he smiled at her again before she left the café to get to class, this time there was something else distracting her from her lessons.

Marinette ended up looking forward to seeing him every day, sometimes they also managed to talk for a moment before another client needed to order; and she was the happiest when the cute barista smiled at her and handed her her order with a new phrase that made her start the day in the best way, it didn’t take long for her not to stammer around him anymore.

I hope your day is as lovely as your eyes -L.

Your smile is adorable -L.

After a whole week of getting cute messages on her coffee cups, Marinette felt like this was going nowhere. If he was really interested in her like he showed through all those messages, why didn’t he ask her out? Also, she got so engaged in their conversations she always ended up forgetting to ask for his name when they met.

“Are you going to do something about it?” Alya asked after Marinette spent another day complaining.

Marinette nodded tenaciously to answer her question, she needed to act this time.

The next day, when the blue haired boy asked her what he could get for her today, Marinette collected all the bravery she had in her body and said, “Oh, the usual. But add your number, and your name, too. Please.”

It was his turn to blush as Marinette held his gaze. He looked taken aback by her sudden burst of confidence, but he smiled when he grabbed a new cup. He looked even better with his cheeks pink, she thought. It took him longer than usual to write on her cup, and he winked at her when he handed her the order.

Along with his number, he had added another note.

I’m free on Friday -Luka.

#lukanette #endgame lukanette #lukanette fanfic #lbsc sprint fic challenge

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colour-outside-the-liness · 3 years

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First of all!! Loved the MoU fic update! left you a comment on AO3 and all. 10/10 ratings haha.

Secondly, moving countries is great you should try if you ever get a chance. I've always wanted to do that and jumped in on the first opportunity I got to make that dream come true, and I recgozine how lucky I am to be able to do so. It's definitely not easy but I'd do it again if I could (in true sag fashion 😎 haha). Where would you want to live? You ever been outside the UK?

Hahaha you and I in a team would be a nightmare to play against I think. Oh come on you absolutely do not deserve people questioning your intelligence! I like to play dumb in addition to the taunting so people underestimate me, they never see it coming when I win. They never see the cheating coming either, my friends are always shocked when they find out, but I do it almost every single time! 😂 I'm competitive too but I like to play it cool especially If I lose I'll be like "it's just a game calm down yall" but if I win I'm like "in your face losers!" (very mature I know).

I love your drunken story, though does sound like it was very dangerous so I'm glad nothing bad happened to you two! Ah I love yalls nordern accent (me and everyone in this fandom 😂) haha your friend's sense of humor is golden.👌 I'm glad you enjoyed my worst drunken experience, that was the last time I did something like that, I felt bad bc my best friend had to take care of me the whole night and you're right she should've told me it was just a rock! Lucky you you didn't get a hangover the day after, I certainly regretted drinking too much that night however fun it might have been haha.

Like I said before your niece is a really cool kid haha I'm glad you have someone to talk to about Bly Manor, don't know anyone who watches the show and my friends don't like scary stuff so I have to talk to myself about it 😂 and now you! Thank you for entertaining me ;) and I only watch the parts I really like now, I'm tired of crying every time I watch the whole show haha.

Do you do random accents really badly like Dani too? 😂 it is kinda funny your mom said it like that yeah hahaha maybe she just meant the good bits? And I mean, do you think you need help? Lol

I have a sneak peek of that damie fanart here, don't think I'll ever finish it tho. I want to do a medieval AU inspired fanart. Maybe it will also inspire someone to pick up the idea and write it haha.

How's your weekend been so far? My neighbor is making me watch Grey's Anatomy season (???) 500 idk but I wish I was reading that pirate AU instead 😂

Awwh thank you so much!! I will get around to replying to the comment on AO3 tomorrow when I reply to the others I've had a very busy day today though so haven't even had chance to read any comments yet but thank you so much for giving it a 10/10!! I wanna do it as soon as I get chance but I know it's gonna be hard and that I am gonna need a bit more money behind me first but I definitely wanna do it when I can... yeah I've been out of the UK twice- one time I went to France for the weekend when I was doing my A Levels and was like 17 the college I was studying at took some of the art kids and since I was doing a photography A Level I got to go and then a couple of years ago I went to LA for a few weeks which was great but I've never been out of the UK for longer than that!! A nightmare for everyone else but it would be hilarious for us I just know it would haha... I sometimes do I have said some dumb things, I actually used one of my dumber moments as a funny little story in one of my fics- people still laugh at me now for what I said and it's been 10 years... my roommate will not let me live it down!! See surprising people that way is always brilliant like when people just expect you to lose and then you win? That's the best kind of win in my eyes!! I don't cheat at games I am just ridiculously competitive and can't stand losing unless it's something like a video game I am okay with losing those but board games I can't stand losing and I am also a terrible winner my roommate won't play games with me anymore!! I can't say anything about anyone being that kind of a winner because I know I am and one of my sister's is terrible too we literally make a song and dance over winning Oh it was so dangerous and we were so dumb to do it like anything could've happened and we both sit and look back at that and go "man we were dumb" but I also sit and go "oh my god she's gonna be a mum in like 4 months" because we've done some crazy / stupid stuff!! My roommate is without a doubt one of the funniest people I have ever met and she's not afraid to tell it how it is... I'll admit because I have a Northern accent Jamie is like the only character on Bly Manor to not have an accent to me so when I hear people talking about her accent I'm always a little like "what?" Because to me that's just how people talk around here haha I did enjoy your drunken story and honestly we've all been there I have had to be taken care of on more than one occasion for being too drunk like to the point of people having to help me into my pyjamas and everything I've been in some bad ways haha!! She should've definitely told you it was just a rock and not a turtle!! Yeah I've only had one hangover and that was after a night of drinking where I blacked out and don't remember any of the night!! Yeah the night of the drinking is always fun- the hangover isn't though and often makes you wonder if it was worth it haha She's so cool like genuinely just a cool and funny kid and she just asks all the questions about shows she's watched so with me its Bly Manor with her mum and dad it's Stranger Things she asked me about it once but I had to tell her I'd never watched it she didn't seem impressed but yeah I'll talk to her about Bly Manor any day of the week- and you too now honestly I will talk about it to anyone that will listen... I can't not watch it all if I watch it because there's just so much about it that I love even if it makes me cry... episodes 4,6, and 8 are my favourites though and are probably the ones I have watched the most!! Yeah I do random accents all the time and they're always terrible but I always find myself really funny- I had this friend at Uni that had a slight southern English accent because he had spent most of his childhood there before moving up north and he still said certain words in a southern accent and I used to do his accent all the time but it was always terrible!! Oh yeah my mum is pretty blunt with stuff like she'll say things sometimes without thinking about how it sounds that or she just doesn't care like she's said

somethings haha I am sure she did mean the Dani thing in a nice way though because she said she liked her- Dani and Owen were her favourites and I mean some help for me wouldn't be a terrible thing I'll admit haha That fan art is incredible!! Like seriously amazing!! I would love to see some medieval fan art for Damie!! I have been sent a few medieval prompts for Damie and I have started writing some of them but it's taking time to actually get full chapters together but once I have and once I have more time from wrapping up other WIPs I'll make a start on editing and uploading those because medieval stuff is always great!! It's been good thank so far today I went to a little beach town with my mum, 2 of my sisters their partners and two of my nieces (my cool niece was one of them… not that my other niece isn’t cool but you know what I mean) and me, my two brother in laws, and my nieces all played a game of crazy golf while my mum and sisters went to a cafe and had cups of tea... they didn't wanna play with us but we still had fun while we played (I came second which I was very happy with)!! I hope you enjoy Grey's Anatomy and that you get chance to read the pirate AU soon!! It's soo good!! ☺️

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writingwife-83 · 4 years

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My 2020 Sherlolly Self Interview

Thanks for organizing this fun activity @sherlollyappreciationweek! 🎉 I’ll start out with a very brief “about me” section-

I live in the northeast area of the USA, I’ve been married for seventeen years, have one teenage son, and I’m in my *gulp* late thirties now. I do volunteer ministry work and also work part time from home. Among other leisure activities, obviously I love writing! I started writing original fiction when I was a preteen, but I’ve been writing fanfic under the pen name “writingwife83” for over six years now. I discovered fanfic and the world of online fandom after becoming obsessed with BBC Sherlock in 2014 after s3 aired. I read The Full House, fell in love with the whole concept of fanfic, specifically for sherlolly, and couldn’t help but give it a go myself. And as they say, the rest is history!

Below the cut I’ll talk about some of the topics and fics suggested by followers/readers. Buckle up cuz it’s a lot lol...

Ok, first up to be kind enough to give me some feedback is @readstoomuch. You said- “what inspires you. Any story (I love them all!). Who do you love writing? Who is hardest for you? And which is that one story that you had fun doing?”

As for what inspires me, first and foremost it’s the show and characters itself. Watching those two on screen, it’s not hard to be inspired! But beyond that, I find a lot of inspiration in music and art, and just generally in other creative works and people. I think for a while I had my own internal inspiration and no lack of it, but as months dragged into years lol, I have found that the rest of the shippers are invaluable in filling the gaps when I lack inspiration and motivation. Some prompts I’ve gotten from others have taken on a life I never would have expected, and that’s pretty great. I honestly don’t think writing works best as a purely solitary activity. I know myself and although there is an aspect of my writing that will always be “for me,” that’s absolutely not all it is. It’s the fun of creating with others and it’s the fun of sharing with others.

As for who I love writing and who’s hardest, I think I’ve always felt pretty comfortable writing the main characters in Sherlock. I probably especially love writing Sherlock himself because he’s fun to break down and really dig deep into his emotions and thought processes. There have definitely been times some of the side characters have overwhelmed me and made me nervous about conveying their voices accurately. For instance, Mycroft can be tough if it involves pulling him out of his shell in a way that still feels believable and true to character.

That one story I had fun doing? Well there’s no way I can say just one. 😆 As far as reader response, there’s no other fic that can compare to the fun of I Told You So, that’s for sure. But as far as the actual plotting and creating, I think the fics I’ve had the most fun with are the multi-chapters I’ve done since becoming good friends with @thisisartbylexie. Having her as a sounding board, plotting buddy, and editor has absolutely increased my creating fun and has definitely also made me a better writer.

Thanks so much for asking @readstoomuch 🥰

Alrighty, @thisisartbylexie, you asked- if there's a fic that you ever wanted to go back to change in some way, which one would it be and why? Which one do you feel "oh wow, did I write that?" in a super positive way?

Idk how to choose just one fic. There are plenty that could use some changing lol! One I’d like to fix though, would be Pleased to Meet You. I know (because I’ve been told) that there’s inaccuracies in that one seeing as I’m not personally familiar with university settings in the UK. I did actually attempt research and I thought I got the idea, but apparently it didn’t work out terribly well. But the plotting and progression of that fic is one I’ve always been happy with, so I guess I feel like it’s a shame if it came off messy in some general ways and distracted from the rest of it. I like how I was able to weave that one into the canon of the show up to that point. And tbh it actually still fits as a uni backstory for them without any conflicts to the canon. As much as I enjoy canon divergence and AU, I also have a big soft spot for fics that simply connect seamlessly to what we’ve already been given.

As for “oh wow, did I write that?” I think one of my proudest accomplishments has been Zephyr. That fic kinda has it all lol. The tropes, the pining, the romance, the Victorian setting...ugh I love it. And there’s a climactic kiss moment in that fic that’s one of my faves I’ve written. I’m so glad I wrote it because of the Sherlolly Remix Challenge in ‘16, and at your suggestion, Lexie. But I will also be forever sad that I had to release that fic all at once on AO3 once completed. That fic would have been great fun to be writing and posting as I went along! And on top of being happy with the fic itself and how it came out, I’m awfully proud of the fact that you were excited enough about the fic to illustrate it, and that @goodshipsherlolly enjoyed it enough to record it as an audio fic. Honestly, what more could a writer ask for? 🥺

@mizjoely, you said you’d like to hear anything about The Queen’s Man. Okey doke, you got it lol!

I actually went back and read through most of that fic when I got this because it had been a long time since I’d looked at it. I gotta be honest that in hindsight...I’m a little surprised it did as well as it did.😂🙈 As some may remember, it started because I saw a magnificent manip and wanted to write something to go with it, and then because that was well received, somehow it just kept going. I did very little world building and development of characters in that fic. It was largely just one shippy, romantic, pining scene after another lol. At the end I did kinda tie it all in and wrapped the story up ok, but it was definitely one of those self indulgent fics where I didn’t feel like doing the hard parts and really just wanted to write the fun stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I loved writing it, and I’m so glad it got the positive reception that it did! But it just kinda makes me laugh because it goes to show sometimes you don’t know what’s going to do really well. You could agonize over clever plotting and world building and character development etc, and be so super proud of the finished product and all your hard work, but then you share and the response is like “meh.” And then other times you legit just throw something together with barely any careful thought, and the crowd goes wild! But aside from all that, the visuals in my head of that AU are just too drool worthy to me. Molly in Medieval royal attire? Sherlock in dark armor with a Purple Tunic of Sex™️ underneath? The two of them lingering in the dimly lit hallways and rooms of a castle and gazing endlessly in mutual pining? Yes to all.

Thanks for asking @mizjoely 😘

Ok wow, see what I mean? That was long! 🤣 If you read all the way through this whole thing, *Moriarty voice* thank you...bless you. Honestly, this ship is amazing and I don’t think I’ll ever have a writing experience anywhere else like I’ve had here. I’ve seen the other side of things in another fandom now, so I can all the more so confirm that there’s no ship quite like sherlolly. The warmth, reception, and longevity is mind blowing and I’m just awfully happy to have played a part in creating for the beauty that is Sherlock Holmes and Molly Hooper. 💕

#sherlolly #sherlollyselfinterview20 #I spent too much time on this lol #hope some of you enjoy reading it!#I hope I remembered to link everything #there were lots of links to be added lol

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imaginedcreaderinsert · 5 years

Text

Dumb girl — Dick Grayson x Reader x Jason Todd

ANGST with uncertain ending (bad, probably)

ANGST PROMPTS:

* I asked you if I was ever going to be enough. You hesitated.

* I spilled my heart out, how I felt about you. But then you laughed. And I just laughed along, tears prickling.

SUMMARY: You’re the cool girl, of course you still are. They love how simple things are when it comes to you, how you do not get bothered and laugh it aside, because how simple is that, really? The thing is you justify them even when you know how wrong it sounds; specially with the looks your friends give you. That’s the worst: being the dumb girl.

WORD COUNT: 2688.

A/N: THIS IS NOT a continuation to Cool girl, but rather an alternative prototype opposed to the “hopeful” ending of Cool girl. Seeing how popular the first part, I’m still working on it, as well as being very aware of the two asks resting on my inbox. I will get on them soon, but I had to write this tonight. It is personal, and I hope it can be read as so.

In case someone’s new and wondering about cool girl, I leave it here: COOL GIRL (Reader x Jason Todd x Dick Grayson). This fic does contain some allusions to Cool Girl, but again, it’s not a continuation and its previous reading it’s not necessary (though I will suggest taking a look if this is your type of fic, as that is angstier I believe!)

You’re the cool girl, of course you still are. They love how simple things are when it comes to you, how you do not get bothered and laugh it aside, because how simple is that, really? The thing is you justify them even when you know how wrong it sounds; specially with the looks your friends give you. That’s the worst: being the dumb girl. But you are not dumb: you are intelligent. It’s just apparently easier to talk to guys when you dumb yourself down, when it shouldn’t because come on, it’s 2020 – but you don’t want to be alone, do you? That’s why you sometimes let them appear as more intelligent, even when you know what they know. Does that make sense? You hope you do, because it really has no equal measure when Grayson is climbing you up from the bed and making his way into your thighs. Those are the moments when you feel everything is worthy, when he worships you. He doesn’t love you, not necessarily, but you think he might.

You kiss, hug and cuddle like you love each other. You sometimes would like that to happen with Jason, but you don’t talk anymore. He has a girl, a fuckgirl, and you are with Grayson, who undoubtedly seems to adore you as of tonight. That’s everything. His gentle looks, nudges, kisses in the neck and nape when he’s taking you from behind. Jason destroys you and Dick reconstructs you. You think he might be the one, he might really make you a whole and love you entirely, as you are, but then you remember he only chose you trying to drown his own loneliness, losing Babs again to someone else, someone better. Are you really settling down for the second best? She didn’t want it, and thus, you get the broken toy. But the thing is, Dick has never broken to you, he has been too perfect: has he not shown enough character shades, has he not confided in you enough? You know everything about him since he was twelve and you were seven, since you basically were introduced. So what does Barbara see in him that she can’t stand, that he abandons from time to time? Is it so exciting to be on and off? (You would know, you never reject his calls) And what is it in him that she sees that you can’t? He’s perfect. He’s gentle, he’s romantic, attentive enough; he’s funny, he cares (tries to) and asks. He always asks, and you adore him for it.

Which is a big and enormous problem when you try to pull closer and he notices. The thing is, he always does, he’s too intelligent. But Dick has also thought about it, and the thing is that when a guy likes you, he will do anything to be with you. That is a universal truth. If he really wanted to be with you, he would have said so, he would have made it abundantly clear, maybe asking you out on a formal date to a fancy place (you almost cried of envy when you saw the two-years anniversary dinner date Dick prepared on social media for Barba. Warren hugged you); instead he either calls in some typical lazy takeout if you are hungry, or worst case scenario, he dresses up, insists on you doing the same (as tired as you are), almost in a hurry, and takes you into a fast food place. You hate them, but comfort food is comfort food when your heart bleeds after being held so tenderly, so close to his heart.

There is a fight, and thus you wonder, is this the time? Dick takes you out a whole day and you feel like you think she feels. He doesn’t take your hand, but does funny things such as kissing your knuckles after bowing in an overexaggerated manner that makes you laugh until you are rolling in the grass, accompanied by him after you imitate him, in a lady-like way, and fake French posh accent. You both can be stupid like that, and you can even be more stupid than that believing it must mean something as he looks at you in your eyes and laughter dies.

It’s the first time he kisses you in public and you smile. He never does that (save from the casual kiss in the cheek), and you don’t even notice he does that because there’s no one else. The thing is, he does. He just looks at you and then you are in his arms, melting and as vulnerable as you can be. Dick is the only one that looks at you like that, the one that has always been amiable (except when he had a bad day), polite (except those times where he chose Her before you) and caring (except when he had too many things in mind). And yes, maybe it’s not the best time, but you are twenty and in love, so you don’t really think much of it when it’s escapes your lips, as the orange light illuminates your face and makes you terribly beautiful and vulnerable as you confess everything that you’ve been holding

—Could I ever be enough for you?—. His eyes don’t immediately catch up on what you are saying, maybe too entranced on your shining marbles as they penetrate what he thinks it’s his own soul. You are beautiful inside and out and that he cannot deny. But it slowly dawns onto him what you are really asking, and you become scared. You add: —. Could you get to love me like you love her?

Only then he realizes how naïve he has been with you; how stupid and hurtful he has been all these years when you were chasing him, and he has been always waiting on Barbara on another station. He feels guilty, but what’s worse, he hesitates. He confidently opens his mouth but then closes it again, and you have hope: you shouldn’t, because only someone who’s sure on things says them without fear, but he is terribly afraid. Your relationship hangs on that simple question, and you still hope he will choose you, he will have your battered heart, your imperfect soul and your insecurities; you don’t love yourself and you hope he will, as he has with Her.

But he doesn’t. He won’t.

He says sorry and you cry. You had it coming, but still hoped for something different, is that so delusional, too dumb on your behalf?

…

Jason drops his fuckgirl as soon as she catches feelings and you are there for him (like it’s a tragedy, like he needs the emotional support). He complains and you laugh all night long with him. It’s just like old times: beer, pizza and black and white movie marathon. This time you get to cuddle with him, and not a week later you are on that same sofa fucking, devouring each other like it’s your last night.

It’s a bit like pushing the button “play” after a long time paused; the passion is still there and it’s like that night that you left with a bitter “it’s okay” never happened (tears on your eyes in his lift, alone on your way back home when he came in for the very first time with that girl almost naked in his arms. You were nothing serious, and thus okay with it. But you were not). It’s always been like that, and you love (him) how he roughly presses his hand against your neck, how he leaves your head dizzy and makes you tremble like you are malleable putty in his hands. You say dirty things to each other while you do it, love never entering and that might be the red flag; but not this time when you want to forget Grayson’s betrayed and confused face (losing a long-time fuck buddy must hurt, you think). And well, Jason does the job, because two months in and you are his, absolutely his. It’s a bit different from before and that heals you. He asks you to stay and even if you don’t cuddle, he sometimes presses himself against you in the morning, searching for warmth (he’s always hot, just like you are, but still he needs you. And you need him). You press your forehead to his and he smiles, pushing you jokingly to a side and standing up quickly to make breakfast (he now sometimes cooks and that makes you glow).

They are happy mornings. You eat pancakes with some cream, which you hate, you’ve hated all of your life – but you let him just because he sometimes covers adorably your nose with a bit of it just so that he can eat you off, kiss it better. You love that, love him being silly (love him, full stop). You tell yourself to not fall for it, but it becomes harder as Jason cycle starts: and it’s always been that way. When he picks you up after being apart for some time (aka not fucking), he’s always extra careful; he tries to hang onto you in a slightly clingy way – he asks who are you talking with when he perfectly knows it’s Dick (but this time it doesn’t happen, and he’s slightly happier; maybe he always knew). You try not to, really, but it becomes more and more difficult as the kisses get heavier, and you become closer. You’ve always confided in each other, but you start to actually tell him things about uni, your friends and – and he becomes bothered, yes, but he hears you out. You know it’s because he doesn’t follow, doesn’t understand really the purpose of that, but he tries to be nice at least.

Until he doesn’t. Because that always happens again.

You think it might be, as always, him fooling around with some girl and feeling uncomfortable about not knowing how to deal with you, how to tell you nicely how to fuck off (it never is that way, but he tries, you guess) – instead he tries to make you angry, hurt you, so that you can go by your own decision, leave him (even when you never do, probably never will). Or maybe he’s feeling trapped – as it always happens, when a man likes you, he will do anything in his power to be with you. But you haven’t learn that lesson yet, and so whenever Jason feels like you are purring back (in bed, kissing him slightly when you wake up, maybe even leaving small “I love you’s” in his lips) he scratches you back, slashing you deeply and making you bleed – just so that you can remember he’s not in love, without actually saying it. He always hurts you, and whatever hurtful thing he scratches back at your face stays in your head for days, remembering it; but this time it’s different.

It’s subtle. And it hurts more. When he slashes your heart in you two you know that’s it, it’s direct, it’s clear in its intention, but when he doubts, when he is slowly moving away you notice him drifting apart. Calling him out does not help – he plays dumb and makes you feel stupid, but you are not stupid. Still, you give up and say “sorry” over text, heartbroken and fully aware that in a month from now you probably won’t be talking and he will have probably moved on.

But the thing is, this random guy at a bar appears, and it hurts more than ever. You talk to him one night when Jason is too busy (you understand, you do not make him worry) and he keeps you company, pays a drink for you. You smile, gratefully, and you talk for a few hours: he’s nice enough, he subtly flirts, and you give in back, bashfully, as if being observed by Jason. You are not betraying him, you are not cheating, but it still feels like so. It’s nice to feel desire, and that’s why you give in for a while, laughing at his jokes and throwing back and forth some witty insults. You think, when you go back home that Jason might feel jealous, might show some affection (because that’ show toxically you think; “he might show me he cares”) – but you do not notice how similar they are until two nights after you cross paths with him in another bar and… They get on well.

Jason and him really get on well. You feel left out, but don’t care much until they start to throw you sarcastic comments that borderline on hurtful. You feel hurt. And just for once, you decide to fight back, comfortable enough with the two of them: but you hurt him, the random stranger, and he defends himself.

—Fuck no I didn’t say that. Jesus, you’re so hurt, you don’t have to try and put Jay against me.

That gets you off guard because maybe the comment came off as too aggressive; you look for Jason for help, and as you are about to open your mouth he says:

—Oh come on, (Y/N), I really like him, don’t fuck it up.

And the way he says it it’s so… Tired of you. You are a bit taken back, specially when you notice he doesn’t have your back. Had he pleaded with his eyes you would have backed him whatever the argument might be – and he isn’t taking your side. Why isn’t he? It’s not a joke by the tone of their voices, and neither of them laugh, relieving you: instead it becomes tense and you are awkward, trying to keep the conversation going but never succeeding. They continue joking, like you are not there, with funny names and you feel like you don’t belong, which is probably the worst feeling of the world when Jason is all you can think about when you think on safe spaces or loyalty. He’s always been like that, and maybe it’s the beer, but-

But that night you leave off early, and two hours later, in your pajamas, safe and sound in your room, you write him a long text.

You tell him he hurt you. You tell him it hurt you how quickly he changed sides and how he shouldn’t have, how he should be by your side whatever the situation because you are by his all the time. You tell him you feel used by it: it’s not the first time. Whenevr Jason makes a new friend, as asocial as he is, he forgets you, and you feign ignorance, like you don’t get their jokes and you are dumb, laughing along but not really getting it (even when you do and it’s not funny). You tell him how much it hurt you because it probably means you love him – and yes, you do write that explicitly: “I love you, and that’s why I feel so bad right now. I wish you could have just sided with me, because had you asked, I would have done so in a heartbeat.” He’s not there, you know that, but still… “I know we are not on the same page, and we will probably never will, but I want you to take into account my feelings, how much I love you, how, if offered, I would take care of you”.

You spill your heart out, transcribe even a poem you wrote on him one night, and he-he laughs when he sees the text. He says you’re too drunk, and that he loves you too and that he will see you at the movies on Saturday. You cry yourself to sleep, because after exposing yourself like that the only thing he does is laugh and change the subject, like it can’t be taken seriously, like it’s something so out of character that you can only fathom drunk. You think it over, in your bed, rolling incessantly on your bed and distraining your sheets until it’s a mess and you can’t sleep anymore:

And then you laugh and nod.

And you say you will be there.

Like always.

#jason todd #dcu #dcu fanfic #jason todd insert #jason todd x reader #jason todd x reader insert #reader insert #jason todd angst #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson dcu #jason todd dcu #dick grayson x reader insert #angst #light angst #uncertain ending #sad ending #probs

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chimmyboii · 5 years

Text

Monster - Part 3

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader (Featuring Kai, Sehun, D.O. Chanyeol, Suho and also Blackpink’s Jennie)

Summary: When vampire Y/N is face with the decision to turn a dying Baekhyun into a vampire, she doesn’t hesitate. However, her decision has consequences which she has to endure in order to keep the man she loves alive - even if he doesn’t want to be alive.

tag: smut, angst, fluff, vampire au.

Authors Note: Sorry for the wait! Uni has been kicking my ass!! Hope you all enjoy the chapter, once again there are some dark themes please read at your own risk. Also, Feedback is also welcome - you can send me questions regarding the fic i don't mind at all!! :) Thanks again!!!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Baekhyun stood by the entrance of Suho’s home, eyeing the small number of vampires crowing the garden. They chat excitedly amongst themselves, not caring about the danger they have put themselves in. The vampires expressed their hate for the Elders, some begged to join the revolution, thirsting for revenge against the higher-ranked vampires. Baekhyun’s eyes flutter to Sehun who stands alone next to the garden bench. After Suho’s proposal to Kai, Baekhyun considered what his role could be. He remembered your words, just because you’re a vampire doesn’t mean you have to forget who you are. Perhaps Baekhyun’s time as a human was over but his time as a vampire was just beginning, it wasn’t long after you were taken that Baekhyun realised that he’d rather be alive. And so, Baekhyun has begun accepting that his is part of the vampire world and right now the world is about to fall apart. This prompted Baekhyun to volunteered to help.

Suho, although grateful for Baekhyun’s help, continued to try and persuade Kai to join him. Kai just looked at Suho, face void of emotion before storming out of the brothel leaving Sehun behind. Sighing, Baekhyun eyes once again caught Sehun’s figure as he moves to stand at the gate – away from the other vampires. Looking at the vampire, Baekhyun began to notice how young he looked. Sehun seemed to be young – perhaps in his early twenties, too young to be a murdering vampire. Then, Baekhyun thought of you. Sighing, Baekhyun walked towards Sehun, who seemed to be in a daze – eyes locked on the grass unblinking.

“I’m sure he will come back,” Baekhyun started startling Sehun. Sehun shook his head and pursed his lips.

“He won’t, he knows this is a death trap.” Baekhyun frowns, eyes looking at the vampires a few feet in front of him. Sehun continued: “these vampires won’t last. You forget we’re fighting against the Elders who have powers, we don’t stand a chance.”

“Then why are you here?” Sehun shrugged.

“I’m going to get Y/N – or die trying.” And with that Sehun walked back into the house before Baekhyun could ask anymore questions. Turning back to the gate, he leans his weight on it, looking at forest in front of him. Sehun was right: there was no way they could win this fight against the Elders. Baekhyun may have never met one in person but from what he heard from Suho and Kai they were ruthless. He turns to the vampires, all are young men, and frowns. They were leading them to their deaths. Baekhyun lets out a hiss, suddenly his body felt like it was on fire. His hand grips the metal gate tightly, causing it to bend under his grip. Gripping his chest, Baekhyun lets out a roar of pain, startling the vampires.

“Sir are you okay?” he heard one ask. Baekhyun’s knees give out from under him, causing him to drop to the floor. As Baekhyun begins to wither in pain, he feels a hand latch onto his shoulder. Opening his eyes, he sees Sehun above him. The boy eyes widen when both their eyes connect.

“SUHO!” Sehun yells, trying to get a hold of Baekhyun as he continues to shake on the grass. The back door slams open, Suho rushes to the scene, automatically taking a hold of Baekhyun. Suho eyes widen as he looks at Baekhyun.

“What the fuck?” Suho breaths.

Baekhyun’s eyes were pitch black with dark veins streaking his cheeks. Baekhyun continues to cry out in pain – his hand grips Sehun tightly squeezing it. Sehun winces, the strength taken him by surprise.

“What’s happening to him?” Sehun whispers, not knowing what was going on. He had never seen this before. Suho is quiet for a moment.

“Who is Baekhyun’s Maker?” Sehun whips his head to Suho, red eyes widen with panic.

“Y/N why?” Suho sighs, closing his eyes for a moment. Suho turns to the vampires before commanding them to carry Baekhyun to his room where Suho can watch him. As the vampires carry Baekhyun, Suho moves to follow but Sehun stops him.

“Tell me what is happening?” Sehun grits, eyes glaring at Suho.

“Something is happening to Y/N. I’m not sure what, but I will find out. I promise.” Quickly, Suho goes to Baekhyun’s room leaving Sehun behind.

Sehun feels breathless, his eyes seemed to sting and blur over. His stomach churned when he thought of you. It took Sehun seconds to realise that he was scared, for the first time since he became a vampire: Sehun was frightened.

The little girl continues to chase the black Labrador around the garden, her giggles were loud for Kai to hear. He leans against the tree, out of her sight, watching her laugh and play. He takes another sip of the bottle of whiskey he has in his hand before he took a step, walking towards the little girl. She doesn’t notice him at first, to busy trying to place the crown on the dog’s head. The dog stiffens, eyes snapping towards Kai, automatically the dog began to snarl causing the little girl to jump back.

“What’s wrong, Buttercup?” she asks the dog, reaching out to pat its head. Kai lets out a chuckle, the little girl swirls around at the sound. The crown in her hand drops on the ground, she lets out a shaky breath. Kai can tell she’s scared, her heartbeat increasing. Just as she was about to run into the house, Kai calls for her to halt.

“I’m not here to hurt you…I just wanted to see you.” The little girl looks cautiously back at him, her hand wrapped around the door handle. Her cute little face showed her fear, her bottom lip wobbled slightly an indicator that she was about to cry. “Please don’t cry, I’ll stay right here were I can’t touch you, okay?” Kai placed his hands on the gate, showing that he was intent on keeping his promise of not entering the garden. The little girl took cautious steps towards Kai until she was a few feet away from the gate.

“How old are you?”

“I’m six, sir.” Kai face lit up with a small smile. She grips the edges of her dress; her lips formed a pout as she looked between him and the ground. “Nanna says I’m not supposed to talk to strangers,” Kai let out a hum.

“And she’s right, some strangers can be dangerous,” Her eyes widen.

“Are you dangerous sir?”

“Only when I have to be,” She nods thoughtfully, before walking towards the gate, she looks up to him. “What’s your name?”

She blushes and begins to tug at her dress more as she mumbles; “Kyra”

“That’s a beautiful name,” Kyra giggles and hides her face in her hands, she peaks between her fingers before asking for his name.

“My name is Jongin,”

“Pretty,” Kyra giggles, placing her small hand on his. Kai frowns for a moment, he crouches down to her height. She reaches out her hand and places it on his cheek. The warmth makes Kai still completely, she smiles softly at him, big eyes sparkling as she gazes at him. Kai sighs and looks to the ground.

“God, you are just like your mother,” She brightens at the mention of her mother, Kai quickly tries to retaliate but it’s too late. Kyra grips Kai’s collar in her little hand and begins tugging at him.

“You knew my Mumma? Do I look like her?” She begins to ramble, “Nanna won’t tell me anything about her.”

Kyra continues to babble about the mother she’s never met, Kai could only stand and watch with a sad smile. Suddenly, Kyra bright aura seemed to fade as two little tears slip down her face.

“Nanna said she died when I was a baby,” She let out a little sniffle, “I miss her so much.”

Kai’s heart clenched at her words, leaning over the gate he picked the little girl up into his arms. He cradled her head against his neck, feeling her tears tickle down on his collarbones.

“I know it hurts but I’m sure your Mother would have wanted to be with you always. Fate had different plans for her, but she would have wanted you to be happy. Live a life she could not live; can you do that for your Mother Kyra?” The little girl nodded. “Just be happy,” Kai kissed her cheek and placed her back in the garden. Just as Kyra’s feet touch the ground, her Nanna came storming out.

“YOU! How dare you come back here!” Kai smirked evilly at her. His eyes turned to Kyra commanding her to go inside, the little girl didn’t need to be told twice as she scurried away from her Nanna’s wrath. “You promised you’d stay away!” She screeched.

“Yes, well things changed,” Kai started, look past her to the window where Kyra stood watching. “I wanted to see her, after all I’m the reason she’s alive or did you forget.” Nanna stuttered, shocked.

“No Kai sir, I haven’t. But sir, you promised she would never see you, you-”

“Oh, hush woman! I didn’t tell her anything, like I had said, I just wanted to see her. She is growing well.” Nanna nods, she looks at Kai fearfully for a moment before her features loosen slightly.

Kai sighs before running a hand through his white hair. “I would like to write to her,” Nanna eyes widen.

“No Kai, sir. I do not want her mixing up with your kind! If you send her letters and people find out, I’ll have the Elders of your kind at my door. They’ll take her away!”

“No, they won’t! She is not a half breed!” Nanna flinches. “She would be safe, I on the other hand, wouldn’t be. But she will never know about us, I will only write to her mother. She needs to know about her.” Nanna continues to shake her head.

“No, the less she knows about her the better. She was nothing but a whore anyway, Kyra does not need to know about her.” Kai’s hand tightened around the gate, bending it.

“Your son is the whore,” Nanna opened her mouth to retaliate, “he forced himself on the girl. He slammed her against the wall, ripped her dress and underwear off her then forced himself in her virgin walls.” Nanna let out a wail, covering her ears but Kai continued. “She begged, screamed for him to let her go but he didn’t until he came inside her. After, he just walked away with a smug smile on his face, leaving her to cry against the wall.” Nanna continued to cry as Kai leaned over and whispered in her ear.

“And you called us monsters, humans are just as bad.” The woman looks at him with blurry eyes, “Y/N was only eighteen when your son fucked like she was some animal. Eighteen years old – practically a child herself. She was a child carrying a child!” Nanna shudders as Kai wraps his hand around her throat. “She died in my arms, seconds after giving birth to her daughter. I had to squeeze my blood out of my wrist into her throat in hopes that she’d live. Kyra lay at her feet not breathing, I had to give her some of my blood as well.”

Kai looks to the little girl staring out the window, eyes not blinking. “She was premature, she wouldn’t have made it without my blood. At time I thought Y/N was gone, so I did the only thing I could do, gave the child to you. Your son was not an option not with what I had planned for him anyway,”

Nanna gaped and began struggling in his hold– “You killed my son,” to which Kai just chuckled.

“And I’d do it again.” Kai breathed, “be grateful Mrs Kim that you have that little girl in your life. Cherish her because one day, I’ll be back, and she will no longer be with you.”

Kai turned to walk away, leaving the old woman to cry into her hands.

Inside D.O’s bedroom, Chanyeol continued to pace back and forth. D.O himself sat on the chair next to the bed watching your sleeping body lay motionless. It had been a few hours since the witch attack, after Jennie had performed dark magic on you – you had fell into a deep slumber. D.O himself wasn’t sure when you would wake up – if you even would.

“I have never seen magic like that before,” Chanyeol mutter, “and I’ve been around a long time.”

“It was black magic, only a witch without a coven would dare to use it.” D.O muttered, leaning back against the chair. His mind kept wandering back to the moment Jennie pounced on you, it was as if she knew something – that there was a reason she singled you out. D.O ears began to ring, a sign that someone wanted to talk to him internally.

‘Elder D.O’, Suho’s voice echoed through his mind. Closing his eyes, D.O opened the doors to his mind allowing him to communicate telepathically.

‘Yes, Suho what is it?’

‘We have a problem, Baekhyun has collapsed. His eyes turned black with vein down his face’ D.O eyebrows furrowed.

‘Like Y/N,’ D.O confirmed.

‘So, Y/N is the same?’ Suho’s voice sounds a little frantic.

‘Yes, a witch tried to curse Y/N, it seems with black magic.’ Suddenly, it becomes quiet, D.O was about to close his mind – thinking the connection was lost when Suho suddenly spoke.

‘Can she be healed?’

‘I’m not sure, she hasn’t woken up. Black magic can be lethal to vampires. It can make us lose our minds – become deranged, almost demonic’ D.O could hear Suho gulp.

‘Will Baekhyun become the same?’ D.O sighed.

‘I’m not sure.’

Kim’s manor was dark inside, all the candles had been blown out. It was strange, I walk into the kitchen and help myself to the blood bag sitting on the counter. As I take a sip, I wonder where Sehun and Kai are – usually they are home by now. Once I’m finished, I place the bag in the bin and begin to start my chores. The house was so dark, it sent shivers down my spine, breathing deeply I grab the cart with the cleaning supplies and make my way into the living area. I note that it is pitch black outside, the clock on the wall saying it was little after one in the afternoon. Frowning, I walk to the window, abandoning the cleaning cart, looking outside I can barely see anything. There is not moon shining overhead like usual, there was not torches lite from the town down below. Nothing, but darkness. Suddenly, I feel scared. I wanted Kai or Sehun here.

“Y/N?” a voice speaks from behind me and I turn around and screech, throwing the vase next to me at the dark figure.

“Hey! It’s me Y/N it’s Baekhyun!” Suddenly, I stop screaming and look at him. Indeed, it is Baekhyun. His black hair was sticking up, his hands raised in a plead. I try to slow my breathing as I take him in. He was here in my house, Byun Baekhyun was here. I smile, feeling butterflies flutter in my stomach. Then, a thought struck me, I frown, a bit confused.

“Why are you here, no how did you get here?” He shrugs, looking around the house whilst frowning himself.

“I’m not sure, I think maybe you led me here.” I shake my head and let out a light laugh.

“What! Led you here? I think I would have remembered bringing you here Mr Byun!” I giggled, crossing my arms. Baekhyun frowns, raising a eyebrow in confusion. “I’m not that type of girl!”

Suddenly, a pain shot up my head, I gasp clutching it. Baekhyun rushes over to me and hold me as another pain travels along my head. “OWWW!” I wail, eyes blurring out.

The wall feels cold and hard against my back, I claw at him red lines mark the skin of his neck. “You bitch!” he growls leaning into my neck and bitten down hard. I wail, smacking my hands against his chest.

“Please! Let me go!” I beg, sobbing, “I’m not a whore, please, I’m not that type of girl!” He just chuckles, gripping at my dress before ripping it. My underpants were the next to get ripped.

“Your mother was a whore so that makes you one!” I cried and begged but it didn’t stop him. Once the barrier of my underwear and his trousers were out the way, it was over. He had nothing to stop him from taking something that was precious to me – that I was saving for someone who deserved it. I let out scream when he entered me raw, the burning pain made me weep. He clasped a hand over my mouth, silencing me. When it was done, his liquid filling me, he threw a gold coin at me then walked away.

I am a whore.

“AHHHH!” I scream, punching the mirror in front of me, Baekhyun scurries back away from me. I grab the stature next, launching it by the door watching as it smashes into pieces. I look to Baekhyun – he watches with wide red eyes. I hear Tobias’s voice in my head, then Kai’s. I frown as I try to concentrate on what they are saying.

“Are you sure you want me to erase everything?” Tobias chirpy voice questioned. I sit on the couch in the living area, my hands folded in my lap. My eyes water slightly, I swallow harshly as I try to hold back the tears. I was hungry so, so hungry.

“Please, I don’t want her to remember any of it. She deserves better.” Tobias looks at the white-haired vampire and smirks.

“How considerate of you. Remember Jongin, once I erase these memories you will have to pay the price – especially after turning her without my consent!” Jongin just nods, eyes not left me as I fiddle with my dress. Desperate for it to be over so I can eat. Tobias grips my shoulders, forcing me to look into his gleaming blue eyes.

“Erase what?” I mutter, Baekhyun walks to me when suddenly another sharp pain shudders through me – except this time in my stomach.

‘No, no, no. Not now!’ I plead, waddling through the alleyway, my hand pressed to my swollen stomach. ‘It’s too early, my love, you have to wait,’ I try to soothe the babe, but I know it’s not use. The contraction had already started. Leaning against the wall, I try taking shallow breaths in hopes to ignore the feeling. I needed to push. I let out groans, head against the wall, I pray and pray for this not to be happening.

‘Miss, are you okay?’ Turning around I spot a young white-haired man at the entrance of the alley way.

‘Please help me, my baby is coming!’ I beg, tears streaming down my cheeks. Quickly, the man rushes over, taking off his jacket and laying on the ground.

‘Lay down and I will go and get help,’ just as he was about to leave, I grip his arms.

‘No, no, the baby is coming now. Oh my God, it’s coming now!’ I let out a yell of pain, the man lowers me down gently on the coat. Without a word, he pushes my dress over my knees and spreads my thighs apart. I continue to let out yells and groans as I try to ignore my body telling me to push.

‘You have to push,’ he tells me, and I quickly shake my head.

‘No, it’s too soon,’

‘Trust me, you can do this, just push. It will be alright.’ I look into his eyes, just noticing the red in them – I ignore it and began to push. I pushed and pushed until I felt the baby slip out of me. There was no crying – but I didn’t seem to notice as I began to feel lightheaded.

‘I don’t feel good,’ I whisper before my eyes closed over. I could hear the faint sound of shuffling; my mouth being pushed apart before warm liquid trickled down my throat. It was quiet, then suddenly a faint sound of a baby wailing filled my ears. It sounded so far away.

‘Come on, Y/N…wake...baby…Your daughter needs you,’ I hear his voice whisper then the memory fades.

I start sobbing, startling Baekhyun who sat next to me. I wail and wail until Baekhyun pulls me into his arms, even then I continue to wail. I lean my head in his neck and clutch at his black shirt. “I-I had a baby,” I cry, Baekhyun stiffens before pushing me away so he can look at me.

“What?” his red eyes searching my face.

“I had a little girl. I don’t remember when, it must have been a few years ago. Tobias erased her from me.” I gasp, trying to catch my breath. “Oh my God, I don’t even know if she’s alive. She was premature.” Standing up quickly, I note we are no longer in Kim’s manor but the town – which is deserted.

“What the hell?” I breath, spinning around. I look at Baekhyun looking at the house in front of us – it is his home.

“Y/N, you have to get us out of here,” I whip my head to him, mouth dropping open.

“What? What do you mean?”

“It’s an illusion. I’m connected to you, that why I’m here. You have to wake up.” I feel my shake slightly, panic settling in.

“I don’t know how!” I yell, “I’m not asleep, look!” I pinch myself and groan in pain, showing him the red mark. Baekhyun walks to me and grips my arms, sliding his hands down until he’s gripping mine.

“Try Y/N. Just wake up!” Leaning down, Baekhyun presses his lips to mine. I cup his cheek, turning my head to the side and deepening the kiss. I could feel heat traveling through my body, my hands felt hot and tingly. Ignoring the sensations, I suddenly began to feel, I continue to let my lips dance with Baekhyun’s until I felt my chest expand – begging for air.

Bouncing up in an upright position, I began gasping clutching at my chest. Looking down, my eyes widen, there was black markings gracing my hand. Lifting it up in the air, I watch amazed as black smoke travelled from my palm, turning into a small flame. I smirked, watching the flame flicker back and forth.

I arrive to the courtyard just in time to see a vampire throw a torch on the stake, lightening it up in an orange flame. Jennie looked at the sky as the flames began to lick at her ankles, she let out a moan of pain. I could see the tears slip down her cheeks. Quickly, I push through the crowd of vampires that had gathered, cheering for the witch’s death, I launch myself on the stake – ignoring the flame the now lick at my skin. I look at Jennie, her dark brown eyes shinned with unshed tears and surprise. I rip the robs off her wrist and push her on the ground below before following. I slap the fire from my skin and help Jennie up. Now, looking at her I see a scared little girl with powers that are too big for her to handle and I pitied her. I spot D.O and Chanyeol in the crowd, both men eyes were wide as they stare at me. I nod to Jennie, D.O automatically understanding and made a move towards us.

“Ahh, Y/N you decided to join us! Wonderful!” Tobias chirped from his seat on the balcony. I glare at him, feeling the veins appear back on my skin. Tobias stands, peering over the balcony at my appearance. He then looks at Jennie who rubs at her burnt ankles.

“What have you done?” Jennie looks at me and nods before turning to Tobias and smirks.

“I created your worst fear. A hybrid.” At her words, I raise my hand in Tobias direction and watch as flames appear on his dark cloak. Tobias lets out a scream and drops to the floor and beings to roll. At the sight of Tobias in pain, the guards begin to make their way to me and Jennie. She pulls herself onto her feet and beings to chant in Latin. An energy ball appears in front of us, protecting us from the guards until one shot an arrow burst the ball – creating a harsh wind. The wind knocked the guards and the other vampires to the floor. Raising both my hands, I conjure fire on the guards watching as the burn. They try to run but it’s no use, I will keep relighting the flame. I walk up the balcony stairs until I am next to Tobias. He has managed to put out the flames, however his arms were burnt red, the blistered skin made me smile evilly.

“It hurts doesn’t it? The burning. Now, you know how I felt every single time you entered me. That burning pain I felt has prepared me for this flame that I am now – a flame that you and everyone else will never put out!” I clicked my fingers and watched as his whole body lite up. I listened to his high pitch screaming as it was music. I watch as he wiggled around the floor, screaming and begging until he eventually stop.

I look down to the courtyard, the guards are gone, like Tobias have became blistered corpses. Jennie nods to me, a small smile on her face. Chanyeol is the first to bow – for what reason I’m not sure. D.O follows, as the rest of the fellow vampires around.

I am a beacon now, a signal for vampires who have been mistreated to now rise.

It is time we take back our freedom.

#byun baekhyun #baekyun #baekyun vampire #exo kai #exo sehun #exo #exo scenarios #exo smut #exo suho #exo do #exo chanyeol #exo chen #EXO xiumin

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wordstrings · 4 years

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Inbox dump

(brace yourselves, I’m including the timestamps because these have been sitting forever and you may literally forget ever having sent one of these because they’re from so long ago 😬)

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Anonymous said: March 11th 2014 *Clears throat* Non-canon verse, uni AU probably *strums guitar and takes a deep breath* DUEEEEE TO A COMPUTING errORRR, dean and gabe are stuck as roomatesssssssss, whilesamandcascanbestucktogethertoo that'snotaneccesitybutitwouldbegreaaaaaaaaattttttttt, and veeery soon it turns into something of a friendship BUT THEEEENNNN dean fights with saaAAAM and gabe is like "dude stop being so upset" aND FLUFF HAPPEeeeeeEEEEEEeens! *stands up and bows* tyvm for accepting debriel though like omg <3

I’ve been rewatching some of Supernatural seasons 5 and 6 this past weekend, and it reminded me how much I love and miss Gabriel. I still maintain that Debriel is a super-underrated ship. The manic-chaos potential is *muah*. (see: #Debriel)

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Anonymous said: August 7th 2018 psst... light back tickles while cuddling in bed are pure™ and wholesome™

Good shit good shit good shit

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Anonymous said: September 19th 2018 I love science and go to public seminars as often as I can. I walked in to the most recent one (which I had picked at random), and it was on the science of tickling. There were demonstrations. There were hand gestures and finger wiggling. There were in depth descriptions of the anatomy and physiology behind ticklish spots. It was legitimately your Amateur Production’s fic, and I was Kevin. Worst of all it was 2 hours long. I think I died during it and my soul was sucked into hell.

Uhhhhhh where can I get a copy of the slide deck?? Asking for a friend. (see: #series: Amateur Production)

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Anonymous said: September 23rd 2018 your art skills have me shook in the best possible way

aaaahh thank you! Fun fact: I went to art school and even took illustration as a concentration area but I’ve hardly drawn anything for like ten years. When I do draw, it’s usually because there are feelings that I don’t wanna do words about. (see: #strings does art)

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Halo!anon said: September 27th 2018 A small, sinful part of Castiel had the urge to gloat. It was somewhat dampened by the fact that Dean was still under the impression that being abducted is peak romance."I can't believe you went out of your way to set up our second date!" He'd squealed, as Castiel tightened his restraints. - little excerpt of a sequel to Date Nights with Demons i had planned for months but abandoned. halo!anon

Your demented version of Demon!Dean is so entertaining 😄 (see: Date Nights with Demons)

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Anonymous said: November 6th 2018 Aaaaah your Gabriel / Kali drabble was adorable, I can't help but love seeing our mighty archangel reduced to a mass of giggles, and you write Gabriel so so well <3. I love your writing your stories always brighten my day ^^

It’s so rare for him to let his guard down, isn’t it? But when he does, he has a grand old time of it. :) (see: this drabble)

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sarah-lou-who said: November 8th 2018 1/4 Boo! The ghost of my online presence in the community is peeking its head in because I need help. I don’t have a platform or following to sound an alarm, so I’m using my platonic tumblr wife’s platform and following for me, because that’s what platonic tumblr wives do. Right? Anyway, I’m very actively fixated on Attack on Titan atm. You know this very well. You also know my predicament. I seem to have exhausted the entire supply of tickly AoT content I’m interested in that exists currently. 2/4 So, if you’re willing to publish these for me, I’m crying out into the vast TFB lands hoping that there’s someone out there to answer the call. I am in desperate need of tickly AoT content. I don’t know if anyone around here writes for it much these days. I haven’t found anyone. And I know beggars can’t be choosers, but it can’t be helped; I really only care if Eren is involved. Even better would be Levi, but I haven’t found ANYTHING involving him, so I feel like asking for that is futile. 3/4 I digress. Even after all this time I can’t keep my asks less than 50 parts long. So my goal here is that someone, somewhere, will by chance come across these, and be able and willing to either write fic of the tickly variety for Eren and/or Levi from Attack on Titan, or direct me to someone who can, if they know a person who knows a person who knows a person. (Sidenote, hi anyone who still remembers me! It’s Sarah, the more ticklish half of Leerah. I’m doing good and I miss you!) 4/4 (I hope you’re all doing well!) Thank you for letting me take advantage of your devoted followers, Strings! Love yaaa!!!

Ah, my platonic tumblr wife Sarah returns! (Digitally, anyway. Reality-wise, we hang out all the time and it’s probably very rude of me to have not published this ask for so long!) I keep teasing her that she has a Type, and that is dark-haired sulky badass who’d probably make a wicked ‘ler – AoT Levi, SPN Cas, FMA Roy, etc. So anyway, if anyone knows of somewhere I can point her to find the content she’s (still) craving, lmk!

Anonymous said: October 23rd 2019 I’m sorry if this is invasive in any way, but how is Sarah doing? I’ve been absent from Tumblr for a couple years and I see that her blog is now deactivated. I was just wondering if she’s doing alright and if she’s still around here on a different blog maybe?

See above! She doesn’t have a TFB community blog anymore, but she’s doing well. We’re quarantine buddies and helping each other out a lot. Very kind of you to ask! <3

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Anonymous said: December 2nd 2018 Hi, sorry to bother you but do you know what happened to prodigal-anon’s blog? It seems to have been deleted. Sorry again if you’ve been asked this before

No worries, friend! Here’s an answer for you!

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Anonymous said: December 13th 2018 I LOVE THE LOOPY SERIES! I love it so much, is there any chance you’ll be doing a part four? I’d give anything to see Cas and Dean tickle each other, it would be so cute 😍

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I haven’t entirely stopped writing... and Loopy 4 is one of those unfinished pieces that has seen a few additions lately. :) I’ve learned not to make promises about when something might get finished and posted, but I genuinely do believe this may be one of the first things that shows up once I’m ‘back in the game.’ Stay tuned... (see: #series: Loopy)

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Anonymous said: January 1st 2019 No no no you can't just stop there! I need more fluffy destiel with tickles and kissing! Pretty please?

I believe this is in response to Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight. Don’t you worry, anon – Dean and Cas are not done being fluffy on this blog!

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1832wasalongtimeago said: January 25th 2019 Hi I just wanted to pop in and say the Maintenance series is amazing!! The second part was doing things to my poor heart I’ve read it like 5 times already. You’re such an amazing writer and thank you fo writing for us!

I’m very flattered, but I can’t take credit for the Of Maintenance series – that’s the lovely work of ask-flip-frost! It does things to my poor heart, too, so you’re in good company. :)

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Anonymous said: January 26th 2019 Sam Winchester can take a lot of things. The one thing he CAN'T take? Someone using baby talk on him when he's being tickled. He collapses into a puddle of helpless giggles faster than a house of cards in a stiff wind.

Precious Sammy just needs to laugh and be held, doesn’t he? <3

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Anonymous said: May 17th 2019 Thor needs tickles. So. Damn. Much.

Oh this was from right after Endgame came out. Thor did make me feel some sads there. :( Poor bab.

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Anonymous said: July 25th 2019 hi! i’ve read your wonderful fics forever but i’ve never really sent anything like this before so i don’t really know what to say.. but i had a destiel tickly thought and really wanted to share it with somebody, so here goes i guess- dean is taking too long in the shower so cas decides to use his mojo from the other room to speed things along. and listens to dean’s echoey laughs through the door. that’s all. sorry if this is weird! okay bye have a good one

This is not weird and I may have delayed in telling you any of my feelings about it but I definitely have a doc somewhere that has some vague notes about how I’d like to write this because I like it!

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Anonymous said: August 6th 2019 Anhhgff your Good Omens tword fics are so cute snvfddf i never knew I needed that of my favorite husbands till now😳😍

I know, right?! They’re just dying to be dropped into every fluffy situation. (see: #Good Omens)

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Anonymous said: July 25th 2019 Poking my head in to say hello, hope you’re doing well still! I just got into Good Omens and I absolutely loved your fic! (I watched the show first because my book was taking too long in the mail lol) Also, the other week I somehow talked myself into making a tfb blog, after all these years of almost doing so before chickening out (this ask isn’t from it because I just hopped in here briefly in a private phone browser to say hi, it’s literally just august-anon though) ~August!Anon

August!anon, I’m always so happy to see you stop by! Tagging your (not-so-new anymore) blog so everyone can check you out: @august-anon

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hey-teenblog said: August 4th 2019 I love your fanfiction very much! They give me a lot of pleasant emotions. And most importantly, they, saturated with tenderness and love, gave me to accept myself as lee!! sorry for my english, i'm russian Love you 😘❤️

I will never tire of hearing things like this! Thank you for telling me. “Saturated with tenderness and love” is a such wonderful compliment about my writing – thank you very much! No need to apologize for language differences; I’m always impressed with anyone who manages to pick up English because it’s bonkers.

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Anonymous said: August 23rd 2019 Hi! Just found this blog and wondering some basic info. ** What fandoms do toy write for? ** Do you accept prompts? ** Do you write reader insert fics? Thank you lovley ❤️

Anonymous said: August 29th 2019 Do you write tickle fics for bnha?? Asking for a friend 👀👀

The only fandoms I have reliably been able to write for are Supernatural and Good Omens – but even Good Omens is a rookie player here. Supernatural is my main jam, and Destiel is my favorite flavor. I don’t do reader inserts, but I’m always “accepting” prompts. I just haven’t written many of them for quite a long time now, so you’re welcome to drop them as long as you’re okay with them collecting dust. (see: this selfsame post)

My About/FAQ page is very dusty right now, too, but there might be some useful tidbits in there for you.

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Anonymous said: November 12th 2019 okayokayokay. Have you watched Lucifer? It's on netflix, it's great, so much emotions and pining. (Also, y'know, reg. Luci stuff. He runs a club. Bad jokes. It's great.)

I haven’t, but it’s on my Netflix watchlist, so I’ll get there eventually! I saw a gifset once where he actually did the thing I see in winged fanfic all the time, where there was gunfire and he sheltered someone he cared about with his manifested wings. And honestly, that was the deciding factor for me.

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Anonymous said: November 16th 2019 Oh Man U listen to Critrole as well! Nice! Campaign 1 was awesome but also heartfelt and really gut-punching at points. Who is your fav so far, anyone you aren’t fond of? (& Out of interest do you have any tickle related thoughts on the main crew or upcoming Fics we can look out for? As you said it’s tumbleweeds out here for this fandom’s tickles and I’ll take anything really 😂!) Hope u enjoy!!!!!

It’s STILL tumbleweeds out here and it’s making me crazy! My heart belongs to Vax primarily, Percy secondarily. I don’t really have cohesive thoughts or headcanons about anything, unfortunately. I do have this one mental picture that keeps coming up that I keep wanting to see art of (who knows, maybe I’ll commission somebody someday?) – of ridiculous brute Grog just lifting Vax straight up in his arms and gettin’ wiggly with his fingers while all Vax can do is laugh and pry and kick while absolutely nobody helps him.

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Regarding #series: Accessor:

Anonymous said: August 31st 2015 I would like to see accessor!verse cas using feathers on Dean!!! and NIBBLES and RASPBERRIES and TEETH and TONGUE and WOWWWWWW

ME TOO, FRIEND. It’s been aaaaages since I published anything new for the Accessor AU, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been going back to my unfinished docs every once in a while to add a few lines here and there. ;)

Anonymous said: October 29th 2016 Prompt: Cas is put in charge of getting a treaty with a neighboring country that shares a lot of the same customs, including Accessories, with certain... twists (think Bracelets AU) and treats their personal slaves (like Accessories) like people (listening to opinions, giving proper care, etc.). The foreign diplomats keep bringing that up and talking to Dean. Cas isn't sure he can make it though the diplomatic proceedings. Also, he might be having improper thoughts about that custom and Dean...

I’m posting this here, but I’m definitely keeping this filed elsewhere because it’s FANTASTIC.

Halo!anon submitted: June 4th 2018 I can’t help but imagine how tickling must play a part in other aspects of society in the accessor ‘verse, besides the sessions between master and accessory. So here’s some imagines and headcanons, with a touch of worldbuilding. (Warnings, besides the usual for this AU: death mention, reference to past trauma.)

- Among the high class, during parties and other celebrations, it’s seen as a common courtesy to string up one’s personal accessory in the center of the room and let the guests entertain themselves with them. Lord Castiel never does this with Dean, much to his fellow nobles’ disappointment; the mere suggestion had Dean quaking as things he’d rather forget came back to bite him.

- Every so often, a petty criminal(the poor man’s accessory, if you will) is placed in stocks in a small town’s square and left at the mercy of the very people they used to menace. What happens next usually involves honey, some sheep, and plenty of begging. A guard stands by to warn people, “No hurting, only tickling. Everyone please wait your turn, they’re not going anywhere any time soon.”

- Certain monastic healers perform tickle therapy as a treatment for anxiety, stress, and other “diseases of the soul”, as they call them. Balthazar himself proposed the idea, because of course he did. The rich usually indulge in this kind of therapy secretly, due to its undignified nature. Some contemplate the possibility of training accessories to tickle in the future, but it’s still a big taboo.

- Every town has a folktale about a tickle monster. Curiously, many of them involve controlling plants and attacking through dreams. The southern communities still have a giggle remembering that one time six years ago when Michael offered to hunt down one such monster and came back with Crowley, a sleazy drunkard with a fetish and a dream, sitting in a cage and wearing a mask.

- The Masters sisters, Lillith, Meg and Ruby, have a long history with law enforcement. Their favorite pastime is snatching unlucky merchants off the roads and tickling them into coughing up everything they have. Everyone is sure they had a hand in Fergus"Crowley" Macleod’s untimely demise by ferocious attack hounds, but they’re very good at covering their tracks. They’ll help you cover up your tracks too, if you’re a friend- ask Bela Talbot.

I might make a second part if I get any more ideas. I hope you enjoyed this! -Halo!anon.

I am very fond of you indeed, Halo!anon. These are so creative!

hypahticklish submitted: July 24th 2018 Accessor!Ideas:

~ Gabriel leads a furious rant regarding Prince Lucifer/Sam to Castiel, relating back to perhaps dealings he has directly had with the Prince between their two unstable-yet-truced Kingdoms. Castiel relates with similar views shared by Gehenna’s councilor(s).

~ Dean and Sam BM where the audience learns more about their homevillage. Dean starts it after a rather morose remark from Sam and ends with Sammy smiling and stealing my heart.

~ Balthazar helps Sam in several ways: 1) Learns the Sam was originally a psuedo-Advocates apprentice, as well as herbalist nephew when Sam identifies the components to some salves/medicines he’s making (he had been explaining what he was doing in an attempt to spare himself being attacked like the first couple times) 2) Calls Sam out on being intelligent and making a recklessly stupid choice by selling himself to find Dean. 3) Removes Lucifers mark. And maybe perhaps: 4) Allows Sam to assist in his own healing/medicine making under his careful observation, feigned as needing two sets of hands to do correctly and his assistant was running an errand, to assess his skills. 5) Offer he work in the hospice under him, apprenticing, should Gabriel allow his intelligence not go to waste. It’s not what Sam really wants to do/learn, but it’s better than doing nothing.

~Dean officially thanks Castiel for saving Sam. I’m talking full feels, single man tear sorta thing. And Castiel says “there was never another option” and then its schmoopy sweet with the kisses and the tickles and the Cas saying he loves Dean back!!!!!!!! swoon.

~ Kali!Likes!Sam’s!Spirit! Give me a dinner scene with Gabriel, Kali and Sam where hes holding his own in a diplomatic conversation with them when he nearly crosses a line (maybe something classist? Making it clear that Cas and Gabe are the exception to his experiences) and she says “I like this ones fire. He reminds me of you, my love.” *grabby hands*

~ Prince Lucifer sends a message to Gabriel requesting (threatening) his Helpmate be returned to him for a handsome reward. Sam somehow sees letter and gets spooked because DRAMA. Gabriel responds to Lucifer with the Chief Advocate equivalent of “Fuck Off”

You, my friend. YOU. All these feelings about Sam? Top-notch, and I shall be borrowing them, yes I shall.

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Regarding #android!Cas:

hypahticklish said: January 23rd 2016 Android!Cas deciding today is the DAY. Dean has been teasing him lately that he likes these strange sensations that have him using all his back-up generated power to not accidentally break Dean's bones and challenging him with that cocky smirk and relaxed confidence. Android!Cas practicing during time while Dean rests with holding objects with similar density to the human wrists with enough gentle force that they neither fracture or slip from his grasp. Android!Cas surprising Dean by turning the tables and pinning his wrists over his head while settling himself on Dean's thighs. Android!Cas not necessarily tickling at first so much as just touching like he had been wanting to so as to catalog how his best friend feels with his new technology. Android!Cas feeling that bubble of FEELS in his chest as he listens to Dean swear at him with positive physical actions negating his harsh words, growing more amused as the bubbling giggles begin. I love Android!Cas

Anonymous said: January 23rd 2016 Android!Cas figures out his own strength comes in handy for more than just retaining himself during tickle fights. When he surprises Dean, Dean tends to squirm and fight back a little (even though he told Cas to get him back as part of the experience), so Cas uses his strength to gently hold Dean down while ticking him. Dean's never been held immobile before so it's a new experience for him, but he ends up liking it. Cas notices how Dean relaxes into his hold after a minute or so. Cas doesn't fail to use this knowledge about Dean, coming up with teasing words and methods of ticking to make Dean all squirmy and giggly, taking special notice of how light tickles effect Dean even more than most other touches, using that specially designed soft brush meant to gently clean Cas' delicate computer chips.

Anonymous said: February 17th 2016 I'm joining in on the Android!Cas thing, if not too late. Perhaps Android!Cas has detachable parts, like a foot, and Dean is a jerk and runs off and hides with it all the while tickling it and making fun of Android!Cas's increasingly desperate attempts to get it back.

Y’all, careful deliberate curious determined ‘ler Cas is LIFE. And, reserved confused helpless adorable ‘lee Cas is also life. Detachable and extensible parts are probably key to both of these things.

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Regarding current personal circumstances:

Anonymous said: January 14th 2020 I pray that you’re able to find peace during this difficult time. You are loved more than you will ever know. I know it’s hard to believe, but there will come a time that you are thankful for this experience, because it will have turned you into the person you are truly meant to be. Be strong and be hopeful. Keep your faith and keep knowing that you are going to be okay. Don’t let this dark time destroy the magnificent light inside of you. Sending you so much love

Anonymous said: January 17th 2020 I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Hang in there! We’re all here for you!

Anonymous said: February 11th 2020 all my love, thoughts and prayers are going towards you right now. also wanted to just drop a little thank you note in your inbox for all the light and joy i've found in your fics over the years. im sitting half way through my first year at uni currently but ive been a fan of yours since early highschool and i feel like ive almost grown up with your writing and fanfics in a strange way, so thank you so much for that. sending all my love to you once again- you are so strong x

I love you all so much.

#blog maintenance #ask #you people are too kind #prompt #Accessor 'verse #android!Cas

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bucky-iss-bae · 5 years

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Numbing the Pain - Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

A/N: Sooo this was just me having some fun and trying to write something while once again procrastinating from Uni work (Deadlines are killing me xoxo) I’m also aware how dire this account has been lately, like I’ve got so much I want to post, and some requests to catch up with so I’m so sorry. This is just some bs to help my writing.

But enjoyyyy xoxo

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Fandom: MCU/Marvel

Prompts: Bucky x Fem!Reader Fluff/Angst Prompts: ‘You did what you had to do’ – ‘Why didn’t you just call me’ – ‘Stay here tonight’

Warnings: Drunkness - Some Angst

Word count: 1700ish

I want to hopefully write more shit like this to just gain confidence and get better so hope you all enjoy xoxo

Masterlist Fandom list

Living in New York City wasn’t exactly the safest city, but Y/N knew her way around how to defend herself. Working with, and being friends with the Avengers made this a whole lot easier. Especially if they’re the ones who taught her how to fight.

It still didn’t stop her from getting scared at 3am when there was a loud banging on the door. She had her fair share of break-ins in the past, but now she was in a safer neighbourhood, heck she was even invited to live at the compound but chose against it. It also shook her up because this is New York City. There’s danger lurking everywhere, but when she wrapped her robe around herself and looked through the peephole, it was shocking to her seeing Bucky Barnes n the other side. His head hung, as he rested against the wall across from her apartment,

She sighed smiling to herself and shook her head but unlocked the door as he did Bucky looked up, a dopey smile on his face,

“Bucky” She sighed a small smile playing on her lips while leaning against her door frame, “What’re you doing here?”

“I...” He started, “I was in the neighbourhood. Thought I would come and say hi. You not happy to see me doll?”

Bucky and Y/Ns relationship was a tricky one at best. Neither had admitted their feelings for the other, but their interaction had always been something that showed they liked one another more than friends. Bucky treated her different, he was free with her, he laughed and joked with her without feeling like he was faking himself. She wasn’t afraid of him, she scolded him when needed when Bucky and Sam were acting like teenagers rather than grown men. She kept him on track and he the same to her. Calmed her down when she was frustrated or angry at a situation in her family, or when something happens to someone or something she cares a lot about. She had a bit of fire in her. Something that stood out compared to her usual composer. But bucky loved it, he loves how she stuck true to her word and her feelings, and nothing would compromise this.

She snorted at his response, “Uh huh, I’m always happy to see you Barnes. Just not at 3am, when I think I’m getting burgled. And let's not forget your drunken state”

Bucky snorted, “You know, Thor would make a lot of money selling his stuff. But that’s illegal so I made the most of what I could, and then I went to a bar, and the stuff there Y/N, it tastes like water. And then the bartender said I couldn’t drink anymore, but I just wanted something a bit strong, and then, he called me a taxi. I didn’t want to go to the compound. You know Steves disappointing face. The frown and when he crosses his arms in that way. Reminds me of my mom whenever I done something wrong. Or when one of my sisters did. I tried to do it, but I always laughed. Steve, he could do it though. Whenever they done something stupid, he gave them that disappointing look, and they would apologise, and grovel for forgiveness, and do I look like I’ll be grovelling for forgiveness from Rogers anytime soon? Pftshh, Sam will use it against me for the rest of my life. You know how those smartphones work and he’ll whack one out, and start filming and I won’t know anything on how to stop him and...”

“Bucky” Y/N stopped him in his tracks, “Shh, you’ll wake up my neighbours. I don’t need Ms JoJo knocking on my door at 8am about how I’ve got these fells comin’ round at stupid o’clock, then she’ll give me that look you're on about alright. Now come inside” She nodded her head towards where her couch was waiting, most likely to soon be occupied by the very man stood in front of her.

He pushed himself off the wall only to stumble into Y/N and then her door, “Oops” He grumbled while trying to stand straight while holding onto Y/Ns arm.

Se looked down at his gloved metal hand and then his eyes, she bit her lip trying to stop a grin forming on her face, his face was only inches away from hers but she could see how drunk he really was,

“Bucky” She whispered putting her hand on top of the one holding onto her arm, “You’re very, very drunk right now. And never did I think I would see a drunk Bucky Barnes in my life. So, let's get you inside, let me get you some tea, and then get you to sleep”

He nodded at her not saying a word, instead staring into her eyes as if he were looking into her soul, “Your eyes are beautiful Y/N. Has anyone ever told you that?” He slurred out,

“Just you Bucky, just you”

Y/N had a soft smile on her face not feeling frustrated with Bucky at all, knowing he trusted her enough to look after him in his drunken state was something she was surprised at. She had seen him at both his best and worse. And now this weird place in between.

She managed to get Bucky inside he just decided to stumble into Y/N completely and put his arm around her so she could support his body.

“God, what do they feed you” She grumbled while throwing him on the couch, he automatically just relaxed into it, taking off his glove and throwing it anywhere. He then toed off his boots and made himself comfortable while Y/N went to get that mug of tea. She boiled the green tea on the stove with some green tea, tea bags knowing this often helped him sleep at night before she went to sit with him and handed him a glass of water.

“Bucky” She whispered, cupping his right cheek, “Tell me, what happened tonight”

He just grumbled incoherently enjoying the warmth of her hand on his cold skin,

“Hey” She called again, sitting on both knees in front of him, getting him to look at her, “Are you ok?”

She could tell how his body language had changed, his face had just collapsed almost,

“It would’ve been my mom’s birthday today” He whispered, “And I miss them. All of them. You know I had 3 younger siblings. And it was hard work looking after them to make sure my mom didn’t overdo it yano. I... sometimes dream about them. Well, I think it’s them. I don’t really remember those dreams.” He had managed to get Y/N tucked under his arm, she was cuddled into her side, “Don’t really remember what they look like. I remember the layout of our house, but can’t visualise it. And the way my mom smelt, I’ll never forget that or how my younger sister always wanted me to teach her how to box, I was a champion yano that Y/N, I worked hard at everything I have done to be thrown into the future where none of my family are” His eyes were sad and dark, Y/N just let him talk, she could feel the way his chest was slowly rising and falling,

“I just wanted a way to numb the pain. And when the alcohol couldn’t do it, figured you could”

“You done what you had to do Buck. But why didn’t you just call me?” Y/N asked him,

“Figured you’d be asleep and I didn’t want ya driving around town at this time of night”

“You woke me up anyway didn’t you?” She grinned while nudging his side, “Now let me go so I can get your tea” She said though in reality, she didn’t want his arms to leave her.

As if he read her mind his arms just tightened around her, “Hmm, I think I like you like this though Y/N”

“I think I do as well Buck. But I also know that the only way I’ll get you to get a little sober is with Tea”

He then reluctantly let her go but only to stand up with her and lean himself against her again to the kitchen,

“Why do you do this for me Y/N?”

“Why not buck?”

“I know but you just... you’re too good to me sometimes” He grumbled into her hair,

She laughed at that statement, “How am I too good to you?”

“You... look after me. You just... had this thing about you and it sounds stupid but you make me feel safe”

She smiled at that, and turned down the boiling water before starting on his tea,

“You wanna hear something stupid?” She asked him before turning to him, “you make me feel safe as well”

A smile broke out on his face and instead of saying anything back he leaned down to kiss the top of her head,

She then wordlessly gave him his mug and took it before he nearly spilt the contents and gave it to him again when he was sat down, both of them closer than before.

“Thank you Y/N. For everything”

“Anytime Bucky. 3am, or 3pm. I’m here for you”

“Don’t worry, I’ll go as soon as I’ve finished this”

She snorted at that statement, “James Buchanan Barnes. If you think, I’m letting you leave here tonight. You can think again” She used her stern playful voice, stern because she used his full name, playful because she had a smile on her lips, one she was hoping he would miss, but nothing would make him miss that smile. One that made him feel infinitely better.

“Calm down doll. If you wanted me to stay the night you should’ve just said”

“Alright, I will. You stay with me tonight, and there’s nothing you can do about it Barnes”

He laughed at that, he knew coming here would be the right decision, especially since he knew she made everything better for him,

“You’re not going to leave me out here alone though are you Y/N” He joked his voice light and flirty,

He felt her head shake, “Wouldn’t dream of it, Barnes. You make me feel safe. So I gotta keep you close. Especially in this city”

He chuckled at that feeling content at her words.

A/N: As I said, not my best work, nothing is right now considering I’m just splitting my concentration and decided to post 3 fics in one night because I’m avoiding everything in life rn banter though 30 days left of university forever, also

If anyone wants to request anything, just send me the request and I'll try my best - you can send your own prompts or grab them from what I’ve already posted.

#Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes Imagine #Bucky Barnes Drabble #Drunk Bucky Barnes #Sad Bucky Barnes #Bucky barnes x reader #Bucky x Reader #Barnes x Reader #MCU #Marvel Cinematic universe #The Winter Solider #The Winter Solider x Reader #Fluff #Angst #Bucky Barnes Angst #Bucky Barnes Fluff

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tmararepairs · 5 years

Text

Claimed, thank you!

Pinch hit #1

Deadline is February 13. If you can fill in for this, please send an ask and include your ao3 username!

All requests are for fic. Details under cut. Ships include: Eric Delano/Mary Keay, Georgie Barker/Alex Brooke, Georgie Barker/Karolina Górka, Georgie Barker & Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker/Jonathan Sims, Gerard Keay & Gertrude Robinson, Gerard Keay & Jonathan Sims, Jonathan Sims & Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan Sims, Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Sasha James/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/The Vast

Request 1 by Rozzlynn Eric Delano/Mary Keay (Fic) Summary A closer look at their relationship would be interesting! How did Eric reconcile the sort of worldview that let him judge Gertrude for 'ruining lives' with his love for Mary even knowing she was a murderer? How did his love of ghosts and danger play out in his job and their marriage? How useful was he to her, before she decided to get rid of him? Did he have any qualms about the way Mary was raising Gerry those couple of years when he was trying to quit so he could be there for his son? Could go for something set during canon, or a divergence where he survives for longer somehow? (Doing something that convinced Mary he was worth keeping once he was blind? Doubting her and breaking up over Gerry's future, with Mary's part in those events shown? Third party interference triggering a different path, e.g. someone targeting the Archivist's assistants, and Mary stepping in for Eric's sake, with butterfly effect consequences?) Creepy pregnancy fic? A second child?

DNW: - Pure PWP (though explicit content is welcome in fics that also show their lives outside of sex). - Eric committing sexual violence. (On the other hand, if you have a plotbunny that involves Mary being awful to Eric as part of their relationship deteriorating, feel free to go with that. But don't feel that you have to write violence between them, of any sort.) - A sole focus on book-ghost Eric, since by then the 'real' him is dead and he doesn't feel quite how he did while alive, and the show's covered his state of mind at that point. - Child!Gerry dying or suffering beyond-canon-typical abuse. - Noncanonical side ships coming up. (To err on the side of caution.) - Waterworks/scat.

Request 2 by Rozzlynn Georgie Barker/Alex Brooke, Georgie Barker/Karolina Górka (Fic) Summary What sort of chemistry did Georgie have with Alex? What sort could she have with Karolina? Something about fairly fearless and practical girls sticking together. Prompt ideas:

- Alex comes back as an end avatar. Georgie, with her emotions still not really working, but no fear in the mix, and some lingering love still present, has a hard time figuring out how to react. (Tries to work out what happened to Alex? Tries to rekindle whatever she thinks she ought to feel? Finds out Alex is taking victims, and destroys her to save others, leaving her emotions all the more a mess? Could be before she met Jon, or something she hides from him while they're friends or dating, or Jon is really creeped out and worried by all this - maybe Alex almost kills him.)

- Entity swap alternate encounter for Georgie and Alex at uni - something where Georgie still comes out fearless, but things play out differently for them?

- Karolina seems extremely unflappable, showing no fear even in the statement nightmares when she's crushed to death. And yet the fears still have more of a foothold with her, since she's not as wholly immune to dream violence as Georgie. Something where they meet, and are both interested to see how someone else is dealing practically with the horrors of the world they live in? With Georgie relieved that, hey, here's someone who won't imply she's stupid for not fearing danger. And trying to help Karolina find even more genuine equilibrium, if she figures out that she's still struggling on some level - a heavily repressed fear response buried under fatalistic acceptance? Is she too fatalistic to fully enjoy life, her feelings choked by the pressure that has her still shedding dust everywhere? Does Georgie manage to help?

- Possible Georgie/Melanie/Karolina, if Melanie's already in the picture, maybe trying to bring up things learned from therapy.

- Sensory play, to help process things, with plot- and characterisation-relevant discussion of the results.

- (For dark humour, could add Georgie and Karolina falling asleep together, and both of them being in an 'oh fuck off, Jon' mood when they see him in their nightmares a few minutes later. Not that they can talk in the dreamscape, but, y'know. Mood.)

DNWs - Georgie dying, or still feeling fear. (Not counting something partially set before her encounter, so long as she's fearless afterwards.) - Melanie getting excluded from anything around the time she'd be there in canon. - Noncanonical side ships coming up (besides passing mentions of prior partners). - Apocalypse - Noncon (though dubcon from the extreme difficulty any of them might have processing feelings would be ok, so long as they work with each other when they actually piece things together). - PWP - Waterworks/scat.

Request 3 by Rozzlynn Georgie Barker & Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker/Jonathan Sims (Fic) Summary I'd be really interested in something from their uni days! Building on what Georgie's said about that time: "I numbly got myself some water, and ignored my weeping mother. She tried to hug me, but her arms just slid off my limp shoulders. And that was my life for several months. Eventually, the memory began to fade, and I started to feel again. I took the year out of university under the umbrella of ‘medical reasons’, and by the time I met you I was, well, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same person I was before, but I had started being able to actually live again."

Given that Georgie was only starting to be able to feel things again (minus fear), and Jon seems to have always been an emotional wreck to some degree even when he tried to come across as functional, and uni's a place where young people tend to have some ups and downs adapting to adult life for the first time even if they're not dealing with supernatural trauma... well, that must have been a weird time for them, right?

- Jon being bad at dealing with anything on an emotional level, still getting used to not living with his grandmother, trying to keep up academically, exaggerating his accent, getting carried away with things he dives into with his problems with moderation, but maybe still having trouble focusing on the sort of work that requires him to 'read the same book twice'.

- Georgie having enough trouble processing her own emotions that she doesn't register as an issue things that she'd criticise Jon for by the time she's gotten to where she is in canon.

- Both of them going through the motions a bit, with 'functional adult' life things as well as relationship things. The presence of another person encouraging them to somewhat keep up healthy habits like food, rest, study breaks and keeping deadlines, even when they'd feel a bit dissociated on their own? And/or one of them going off the rails in a 'students making bad life choices' way, and getting some solidarity from the other (sure, let's stay up three days in a row to study, then build a marshmallow fort just because we can and fall asleep in it and wake up with sticky hair').

- Experimenting with sex/kink? Any shade of ace for Jon; if sex-repulsed then figuring out what other kinds of intimacy they'd enjoy, if sex-indifferent or -positive then figuring out how much they feel from that kind of activity (and from nonsexual stuff too, cause why not)? (I'm not looking for PWP, but would be interested in stuff with awkwardness, character/relationship development, humour - including any plotbunnies where they give up on experimentation that's not working out and have a laugh about it.)

- Either or both of them getting triggered by a reminder of their supernatural encounters, and trying to cope without actually explaining what happened. The sound of knocking at a bad time bringing up memories of Mr Spider? A friend watching a crime show with corpses on screen that act as a reminder of things that are still unpleasant to recall even if they don't incite fear? Georgie missing Alex and needing some space? Jon's survivor's guilt flaring up and making him a bit paranoid for Georgie's safety, trying to subtly check friends' bookshelves for Leitners when they visit (and not being subtle, so just coming across as really weird)?

- Going on a trip during the holidays or after graduation? Georgie learning how prone Jon is to wandering off and getting lost? A restaurant meal where Jon sees a spider and has to kill it, even if it means getting too close to another table / the kitchens / the ceiling? Georgie getting annoyed at rude posh people and wistfully thinking that Alex would have confronted them (and possibly punched them), and maybe feeling pleased when Jon questions them over something a bit pedantic until they want to punch him?

- Breaking up when Georgie's recovered to the point where she's getting more functional than in her first few years after the End incident, and seeing more of a problem with Jon's behaviour? And Jon seeing that as things ending really badly because it feels like she's gotten to know him and decided he's not good enough, even over things that she didn't used to mind?

DNWs - Self-hate over asexuality as an orientation. (Worries about compatibility are fine, and they could get upset over activities going badly, so long as heavy acephobia isn't involved; if he doesn't blame his orientation any more than he blames hers. Or they could both be biromantic ace, with no reason to blame that for their problems.) - AU where they didn't break up, or where they got back together. In other words, keep them exes for the parts of the timeline where that's canon. (But the fill could be set entirely before the breakup.) - Noncanonical side ships coming up (besides passing mentions of prior partners). - PWP (I like plotfic, with or without explicit content) - Noncon/waterworks/scat

Request 4 by Rozzlynn Gerard Keay & Gertrude Robinson, Gerard Keay & Jonathan Sims (Fic) Summary Some Gerry lives fic? With some of the same prompts as the Gerry ships request, if you feel like using them as a setup for platonic bonding rather than a shippy polypile:

- Gerry helping with Gertrude's plan to kill Jonah and destroy the Institute, which succeeds this time, and maybe meeting & bringing in some of the others while they're still working in Research / Artefact Storage / the Library. (Since non-Archive staff can quit without blinding themselves, fair to assume they're not tied closely enough to Jonah to die if he dies? So only Gertrude has to worry about that part. Maybe Gerry helps her to the hospital?)

- Gerry finding out that Gertrude is part-desolation (she mentions burning inside, and her ritual circle mitigating the worst effects - can she light a cigarette with her bare hands?), and/or finding out she's working with Leitner too. Possibly precipitated by a spooky attack that they deal with together?

- Gerry being alive and meeting Jon, giving him more info/warning about Beholding at some point in the timeline. (Early enough that Jon tries to turn down the Archivist position and warn off the others too? Gerry knows that Jonah killed Gertrude and tries to enlist some help in taking him down? Early s1 Jon gets warned off live statements by a Gerry who learned why Gertrude usually avoided them, and they try to protect themselves and the archive assistants from Jonah's attempts to organise attacks on the Institute to traumatise Jon with every entity?)

DNWs: - Completely mundane AUs. - Character death or full monsterhood for Gerry, Jon, or Jon's assistants (canon's got that covered in many ways and I'd like to see their living potential explored). - Apocalypse - Shippy Gerry/Gertrude or Gerry/Jon (except Gerry and Jon in a polypile, but that's in another request, see below). - Other noncanonical ships, in general. (Platonic focus preferred for this one, but if, e.g., Basira/Daisy or Georgie/Melanie somehow comes up, ok to mention that that still happens.) - Noncon/waterworks/scat.

Request 5 by Rozzlynn Jonathan Sims & Alice "Daisy" Tonner (Fic) Summary Something exploring their friendship post-coffin? They seem to end up getting each other's mistakes without condoning them, understanding how much of it was supernatural coercion, trauma response, and their own flaws, and sharing a very dry, dark sense of humour. They've seen some interesting sides of each other, and moved past the attempted murder and supernaturally inflicted trauma nightmares even though both must've been pretty awful at the time. Neither of them have many other friends who could get exactly how badly messed up their lives are and stick with them, besides those who are actively unrepentantly evil like Helen (and whatever mix of denial and turning a blind eye Basira's approach was, and Martin who wanted Jon to do better but refused to get directly involved during his own crisis).

- Jon and Daisy supporting each other's attempts to stay relatively human? Discussing the past, and the others? Daisy keeping an eye on Jon while Basira and Rosie are dealing with the people who come to the Institute to give written statements - the sort of thing that led Jon to tell Martin that their intervention was exactly what he needed?

- S4 canon divergence, with one of the finale episodes taking a different turn?

- Jon and Daisy managing to do something positive for the others (Basira, Melanie, Martin)?

- Passing mention of the 'normal' institute staff being creeped out by running into Jon and Daisy (both of them looking dangerous and half dead, with rumours about murders and disappearances still following them around). Daisy coping better than Jon with this. Basira effectively being the archivist everyone deals with if they can help it. (Melanie's not quite as scary as she used to be, but she's barely around... Who'd have thought Martin would end up siding with the evil new boss...?) Though if you go with this prompt, at least part of the fic from Daisy or Jon's pov preferred, rather than entirely outsider pov.

- Melanie trying to pass on therapeutic advice and activities (based on whatever mundane version of events she told her therapist about them); Daisy and Jon trying to listen, not necessarily liking all of it, and putting some of the activites into practice bc they need to keep busy (maybe not necessarily lasting long before making a dark joke of it, maybe finding it helpful anyway).

DNWs - Feral!Daisy within the fill, unless she manages to come around without permanently reverting to the Hunt or going on a killing spree against innocents in the meantime or anything. - Jon taking statements within the fill (except from other monsters if they bring on a crisis, like with Peter). - Apocalypse. - Shippy Jon/Daisy, except in a Basira/Daisy/Jon/Martin polypile where some of them share and/or are friends with benefits. - Other noncanonical ships coming up. - PWP - Noncon/waterworks/scat.

Request 6 by Rozzlynn Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan SimsMartin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker (Fic) Summary Have fun with an AU that gives them a chance to shine? Divergences from the canon while Gerry was around, or alternate settings, so they can be alive together. Prompt ideas:

- Gerry helping Tim after Danny's death, or meeting Danny in time to avert it.

- Gerry telling Jon more about Gertrude and the supernatural than he had the chance to in canon, and helping his statement addiction stabilise at around the same level as Gertrude's, questioning any impulsive use of compelling so that Jon thinks it through and gets stricter with himself (especially with Martin and Tim's input), trying out protective measures to mitigate the statement nightmares for everyone involved (since with the tattoos and everything he learned working with Mary and Gertrude, Gerry seems to know a thing or two about channeling and hiding from the eye, using supernatural powers without losing himself).

- Jon still finding Eric's tape eventually, and Gerry hearing about his dad's life that way, while the others deal with the knowledge of how to quit.

- Exploring the tunnels and Jon meeting Leitner under different circumstances, Gerry finding out 'wait that really was him?' and Leitner still being scared after he beat him up that time, Martin trying to stop another fight, Tim wanting to find out more about Smirke from Leitner.

- Gerry meeting the others while they're still working in the Research & Library departments; they all help with Gertrude's plan to kill Jonah and destroy the Institute, and make enough of a difference that it succeeds. (Since non-Archive staff can quit without blinding themselves, fair to assume they're not tied closely enough to Jonah to die if he dies? So only Gertrude has to worry about that part. Could include Sasha helping as a friend, and Basira and Daisy lending police support? Maybe after Gertrude quits, the next Archivist that Beholding picks is someone at the sister organisation in China or America, and Gertrude gives them some advice.)

- Alternate careers with section 31 equivalents. E.g. Jon as a surgeon (his grandma made him study medicine) with an eye for dealing with supernatural injuries? Tim got into architecture or the occult side of publishing, or became a cop? Martin got into something really random from applying to absolutely everything with a fake cv - maybe working several jobs / nightshifts and giving a statement after running into spooky trouble? Or working at the occult store with Jane and Oliver, and meeting Gerry while he worked at the bookshop? (How much more exasperated would Martin have been if he knew Jane before she went wormy and she still besieged his flat? Maybe Gerry helped, and Jon worked for the ECDC?)

- Mixed feelings over the holidays, since they all have/had difficult family situations. Learning to look after each other (Martin feeling appreciated for his efforts to take care of his loved ones, Tim feeling supported, Jon feeling that he can protect them all and there's no crisis to jump at or information he's missing, Gerry feeling understood by people who know about the supernatural and want to build a life free of the worst of it alongside him). Holiday preparations with their friends - Sasha, Georgie, Melanie, The Admiral. Jon's tendency to need mental stimulus and to get carried away manifests as ridiculously overdoing something like gift shopping, cooking attempts, or planning a trip (and still overlooking things he should've foreseen - so it's a good thing problem solving is a team effort).

DNWs: - Completely mundane AUs. - Other noncanonical ships coming up. (Unless you want to include Sasha in a plot where she lives, joining the main polypile, or a triad with Melanie and Georgie. Mentions of oc previous partners are also ok.) - Self-hate over asexuality as an orientation. (Worries about compatibility are fine, so long as heavy acephobia isn't involved; if Jon doesn't blame his orientation any more than he blames anyone else's. Any shade of ace is ok.) - Character death within the ship. (Not keen on book!Gerry for this, as he didn't want to exist that way for long.) - Anyone in the ship going unrepentantly evil as a full monster. - Apocalypse - Noncon within the ship. (If you want to include an element of hurt/comfort over any of them having previously suffered bad things outside of this ship, then feel free.) - PWP - Waterworks/scat.

Request 7 by Rozzlynn Martin Blackwood/Sasha James/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker (Fic) Summary Have fun with an AU that gives them a chance to shine? Divergences from the canon while Sasha was around, or alternate settings, so they can be alive together. Prompt ideas:

- Sasha meeting the others during a misadventure in Artefact Storage (while Jon and Tim worked in research and Martin worked in the library).

- Sasha finding out how Gertrude really lived in time to help with her retirement plan, getting the others involved one way or another. They kill Jonah and make plans for what to do after the Institute's destroyed, counting their blessings that they never worked in the Archive.

- During the chaos and panic of Prentiss' attack, Sasha accidentally knocked Elias into the tidal wave of worms before she made it to the fire suppression system and saved the others. (Jonah's body in the panopticon is alive and kinda stuck there, so they all live). They're upset about losing the head of the institute... until they listen to Gertrude's tapes and learn what's really going on. Jon tells the others how much he's becoming like Gertrude (nightmares, compulsion), and when they know everything the audience knows as of current canon, he quits with the others' support to stay human.

- Hurt/comfort over near-death experiences

- Going on a long holiday together after it's all over. Sasha and Jon picking museums to visit, Jon and Martin lingering in bookshop cafes, Martin and Tim picking scenic outdoor routes to visit, and Tim trying to get the others involved in sporty outdoor activities (too bad they're all nerds, but they give things a go, mostly).

- Alternate careers with section 31 equivalents.

- Mixed feelings over the holidays, since they all have/had difficult family situations, assuming Sasha fits Jonah's trend of hiring people without many attachments. Learning to look after each other (Martin feeling appreciated for his efforts to take care of his loved ones, Tim feeling supported, Jon feeling that he can protect them all and there's no crisis to jump at or information he's missing, Sasha feeling intellectually fulfilled with nothing left to truly fear). Jon's tendency to need mental stimulus and to get carried away manifests as ridiculously overdoing something like gift shopping, cooking attempts, or planning a trip (and still overlooking things he should've foreseen - so it's a good thing problem solving is a team effort).

- Sasha and gay!Martin bonding platonically in a polypile, finding it's a relief to be able to talk to each other without the particular kinds of pressure that come with their romantic relationships with Jon and Tim, to the extent that the ship feels all the more like found family for each of them thanks to the other's inclusion.

DNWs: - Completely mundane AUs. - Other noncanonical ships coming up (besides mentions of oc previous partners). - Self-hate over asexuality as an orientation. (Worries about compatibility are fine, so long as heavy acephobia isn't involved; if Jon doesn't blame his orientation any more than he blames anyone else's. Any shade of ace is ok.) - Character death within the ship. (I've had my fill of 'the others mourn Sasha' for now.) - Anyone in the ship going unrepentantly evil as a full monster. - Apocalypse - Noncon within the ship. (If you want to include an element of hurt/comfort over any of them having previously suffered bad things outside of this ship, then feel free.) - PWP - Waterworks/scat.

Request 8 by Rozzlynn Martin Blackwood/The Vast (Fic) Summary Okay, so Martin canonically: - is claustrophobic - had many bad times besieged in buildings and lost in tunnels and corridors - wrote poetry about wandering the countryside like a cloud - is bitter about never having had the chance to travel - is a bit conflict avoidant, and ended up feeling so trapped by a terrible situation that he found some relief in isolating himself (didn't miss the shouting, couldn't bring himself to want to deal with his problems anymore), even while he was suicidally depressed over it all.

What if the Vast got ahold of him? Prompts for various bits of a possible timeline:

- In s3, Martin insists on accompanying Jon on his research trip abroad, to help with the work and to look after him. (Nobody can deny that Jon needs looking after, by that point, and Martin is his assistant.) They have an encounter with the Vast in a plane, or on the road through China or America's wide open spaces. Though they survive, Martin's infected in a way that builds over time, like with Melanie and the Slaughter.

- When they're back in London with the plan for the Unknowing organised, Martin persuades Jon to use the Archives budget for a corporate team building day in the countryside, to try to address the interpersonal issues between the staff. The event goes a bit strange.

- After the Unknowing and the Flesh attack, when Martin stops expecting Jon to wake up and says goodbye, maybe he nopes out and flees into the Vast, aware that it's been stalking at his heels? (Intending to lose himself there forever, not become an avatar who hurts others.) - Maybe, months later, he runs into Simon Fairchild while falling through the sky, and hears news about the Institute. When he hears that Jon's awake, that he's still got something tethering him to the world, he drops out of the Vast. - In his absence, Peter made a deal with Basira? (She already thought she couldn't trust anyone but herself. Peter figured she was lonely enough, and had to find the Extinction research to convince her to work with him.)

- Or Martin still makes the deal during Jon's coma, but Peter adapts his approach, sensing the Vast's influence. Either he thinks it'll help draw Martin to the idea of seeing everything via the panopticon, or he worries it'll put him off staying underground there, no matter how unlimited his vision may be as a result. So he either encourages Martin to isolate himself in a Vast-aligned way (research trips out in desolate places, with enough Institute paperwork to avoid withdrawal), or tries to train it out of him (confining him to the building, trying to instill agoraphobia). - At the office, Martin opens the windows even in awful weather, works on the rooftop on his phone or tablet, gets distracted by the sky, etc.

- Things reach a crisis point one way or another, and Jon follows Martin into his space within the Vast. (With different avatars having different powers, and several places falling within each entity, like Forsaken having the graveyard, ocean, beach, suburbs, etc... Maybe Martin's Vast niche is a cloudy sky far above a beautiful green landscape that never gets any closer, evoking an overwhelming mixture of grief and relief that everything below is out of reach; beautiful from a distance, but closing the distance would be too painful to consider.) Jon still tries to talk him out of it, unwilling to leave without him. Either they both leave, or neither of them do? - If Peter doesn't manage to send Martin to the Lonely & tempt Jon in after him, Jonah gets frustrated over the bet being useless. (Mike Crew's already covered the Vast, why couldn't Peter do his job properly??)

DNWs - Peter/Martin, Simon/Martin. In general, Martin being genuinely ok with anyone he knows is an unreformed mass murderer. (If the prompts give you a whump idea that leans on assault by one of them as an extra factor in his depression, making the Vast a relative sanctuary of gentle fear, then go ahead with the noncon, but don't go out of your way to include it otherwise.) - Jonah ships. - Martin knowingly & willingly killing a victim. (Fighting another avatar in self defence would be ok. The Vast maliciously messing with his perceptions and reflexes so he's not actually sure what he's done while badly dissociated could work, if a plotbunny needs something like that.) - Martin or Jon dying more unambiguously than being Vast-stranded indefinitely (as the upper limit for a worst case scenario). - PWP. (Though that seems unlikely here, as any smut between Martin and an entity would need a plot to establish even what and how. And honestly, I can't say I'm keen to read about Martin jerking off in midair. So, uh, don't reach for explicit content unless you've got a plotbunny that involves it in an emotional arc?) - Heavy internalised acephobia. - Waterworks/scat.

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caffeineivore · 5 years

Text

M/N fic for Wils!

For @nelwynp aka The Ebil Enabler. I actually wrote this longhand on a notebook as is my habit during long plane rides and so on. Recently got back from a two week vacation to Spain and Portugal so... there was a lot of plane time. Also chilling time post-evening sangria. I managed to write a few ficlets during this trip, and will tag them all under “travel ficscribble”.

Set in a ficverse not yet really published, but the same as the last few things I posted. Will eventually compile everything after the main fic is published for the @ssrevminibang.

Prompt: M/N, “Buffoon”, “I hope you’re miserable”

“You great buffoon! Why in the names of all the saints would you attempt to keep up with me Uncle Murphy, then? It’s tea and dry toast for you this morning, and possibly into this afternoon, too.”

There’s an army of mad leprechauns doing an Irish step dance in the space in his skull where his brain used to reside before it was pickled to death by a gallon of Guinness last night. His mouth tastes like the Sonoran Desert, scorpions and lizards and all, and Noah is pretty sure that if he attempts to move his limbs, they might fall off. Had it been any other person than Mary Kathleen talking to him and breaking the silence of the room, he might have cussed them out. Or at least made plans to do so sometime in the near future once the room stopped spinning.

“Your Uncle Murphy was the one who kept refilling my cup! I wasn’t trying to start anything with him! Does he hate Americans or something? I mean, we are kind of a bunch of assholes, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t personally do anything to him.”

Mary Kathleen tsks at him, but sets down the tray of toast and tea on the nightstand by his bed. Noah is not above admiring the glimpse down her shirt as she bends over. He might be suffering the Hangover From Hell, but the day he couldn’t find the wherewithal to appreciate Mary Kathleen’s incredibly fabulous boobs, he’d have to be blind, dying or both.

Not that he thought of her in some sort of sleazy, disrespectful, sexual object type of way. And certainly not anything he’d admit to, aloud. Mary Kathleen was a friend-- they’d kept in touch since meeting each other at her graduation two years ago-- and besides, he wasn’t going to discount the fact that she could quite possibly kick his ass. Or at least make his life a complete living hell. Nor was he about to make things awkward, particularly on her home turf.

It’s his first time in Ireland and certainly it’s a pretty big departure from America. Mary Kathleen’s family comes from a tiny village that looks like something out of a postcard, and just the other day, they were stuck behind the local idea of a traffic jam-- a flock of sheep taking their sweet time to cross the road. The land is a bit hilly, but lush and green, with a great deal more rain than he was accustomed to. But he could hardly complain. Not when it never came close to the downright dangerous temperatures of a sweltering Arizona summer, and especially not to Mary Kathleen’s exceptionally friendly family.

She’d told him, perhaps a year ago, that she’d lost both parents in her teens to a plane crash, and that she’d been taken in by an aunt and uncle afterwards, who’d lived in London at the time. They’d since moved back to Ireland after Uncle Murphy had retired, and though the sleepy little village of her youth certainly offered less by way of employment opportunities, there was no other place she’d rather be in the summers between school terms.

And so, as her friend, and as Zack’s unofficial babysitter, here he was. At least, that is to say, he got Zack safely into the UK and dropped him off into the competent hands of Amy, then embarked upon this little detour. And though he hadn’t exactly done anything super exciting thus far, it was worth it just to see this side of Mary Kathleen’s life, in her natural habitat, as it were.

He was never going to spend an evening at the pub with Uncle Murphy again, however. Everything that people said about the Irish and their alcohol tolerance was true.

About two hours later, Noah is roughly human again, after about four slices of dry toast, three cups of tea and two cat naps. He blearily makes his way towards the direction of the bathroom, which is tiny and adorable and had lace curtains on the windows, but also a shower about the size of a shoebox. The water pressure leaves something to be desired, but at least it does get good and hot. He sweats out the last little bit of alcohol left in his system, gets dressed, and wanders outside in search of his elusive hostess.

He finds her-- or at least a pair of very long and shapely legs that definitely look like hers-- sticking out from underneath a rusted, ancient jalopy of a car in a shade of brown-green usually associated with bird droppings or guacamole past its prime. The car is parked in a neighbour’s yard, and the neighbour in question seems to be a fairly ancient man wearing a sweater and a cap, who calls out when he sees Noah approaching.

“Yer Yank’s here, Mary Kathleen, and sure and he’s looking a lot more lively now than last night.”

“Me Yank’s a great buffoon who can’t handle his drink, but at least he conducts himself well enough when he’s half-pissed. I remember the time when Fergus McLean ran bare-arsed through the village singing ‘Whiskey In The Jar’, and if he wasn’t a walking advert for the evils of over-indulgence, I’m sure I can’t think of a one who’d suit it better.” Mary Kathleen, butt wiggling in her well-worn jeans, shimmies out from underneath the fugly car, a streak of black grease on one cheek, and grins up at him from her prone position on the ground. “I’m changing the oil of Flynn Malone’s car for him. He’ll be giving me some fresh eggs and a loaf of his wife’s soda bread for tomorrow’s breakfast, and perhaps if he’s feeling particularly generous and kindly, a pot of fresh butter as well, for none make better bread and sweeter butter than our Bridget Malone, aye?”

“‘Tis why I married her, to be sure,” Flynn Malone says agreeably, even as he gives Noah an unmistakable side-eye. “Now, my Bridget’s Da was fit to string me up by the bollocks, he was, when he caught me singing for her at her window in the moonlight before we were married. Our Mary Kathleen’s quite the prize herself, and I’d be happy to stand in for her Da if a lad comes sniffling after her and doesn’t do right by her.”

“I’m pretty sure if I did anything untoward in her presence, let alone directed at her, Mary Kathleen’s completely capable of kicking my ass herself,” Noah remarks in as polite a tone as he can muster, considering the conversation topic. “Therefore, I’m not going to try anything funny. I want to live.”

“Oy, yer smarter than ye look,” Flynn Malone guffaws as Mary Kathleen ducks back under the car to finish up. “We had our doubts. A body who makes a living getting pictures taken of his naked chest doesn’t always have a great deal going on upstairs.”

“The Yank’s working on his post-graduate in Physics at his Uni, and I’d thank you to be nice to my company, Flynn Malone.” Mary Kathleen reappears out from underneath that car. “Don’t be troubling him too much, or I’ll be tying a knot in your fuel line.”

Mary Kathleen wipes her hands and face clean with a damp towel, and Flynn Malone hands her a covered wicker basket full of the agreed-upon bread and eggs and butter, and after bidding her neighbour farewell, she and Noah head back to the house of her Uncle and Aunt.

“So, you never answered my question.” Noah carefully steers clear of any implications of his intentions towards Mary Kathleen. Not that they’re dishonourable, per se, but why bring a beautiful friendship into an awkward and potentially disastrous direction? Mary Kathleen, he knew, would never consider getting on a plane to even visit the United States, let alone move over there. “Do people here hate Americans, or do they just enjoy messing with me? I mean, I’m not mad. Just kind of curious.”

“Oh, you’re not from around here, and moreover you’re a male non-relative visiting my home. This part of Ireland is still quite traditional with things, so me neighbours probably want to make sure you’re not here to shag me and whistle off on your merry way, leaving me pregnant and unwed.” Noah’s eyes go wide at the last part of her explanation, and to his chagrin, Mary Kathleen blithely misinterprets his expression. “Not to fret, lad. I know you’ve no interest in such a matter. You’re quite safe from the parson’s trap. In the day and age of Flynn Malone, a man and a woman could scarce smile at each other without threats of the Banns being read, but I’m expecting naught from you of that sort.”

“Sure. I’m safe with you. Just not with any other number of people who’d like to see me miserable. Sounds good.”

“Maybe you should improve your constitution before we visit the pub again.” Mary Kathleen smirks up at him. “At least you no longer look like you’re fit to go to the Devil. You’re not quite to shirtless kilt standards, yet, but perhaps a nice walk in the fresh air will help you.”

“As long as I don’t step in any more cow shit.”

“I make no promises. You should have been more careful and watched your step.”

Noah says nothing about the fact that he’d been distracted staring at the freckles on her nose, and the glint of gold in her green eyes, and the way her t-shirt clung to her in a way white cotton had no business doing to anyone at any time, and follows her down the lane. He’d perhaps die in Ireland, but at least he’d die happy.

#M/N #sailor moon #senshi/shitennou #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #nelwynp #travel ficscribble

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moonraccoon-exe · 5 years

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Hopefully tumblr doesnt eat this p.1 again! Its been so long since Ive dropped by and said hello to one of my favorite people so hello Coon! I feel like Ive been so busy I dont have time to drop bye and say hello these days How are you? Are you doing well? I hope you are bc you deserve so much happiness. I also wanted to do a status update on the fact that Im now writing again! I took a longer break than I thought I would but hey Im now more motivated than ever so I guess it all worked out ^^

I AM

A HORRIBLE, ULTIMATELY TERRIBLE RACCOON.

JAZ.

IT’S BEEN SO LONG SINCE YOU LAST DROPPED THIS IN MY INBOX AND I’M JUST REPLYING NOW.

AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHY? IT’S NOT EVEN THAT I DIDN’T HAVE TIME.

I JUST. I PUT THIS IN MY DRAFTS SO THAT THE SECOND ASK, THE BIT IN THE IMAGE, WOULD BE SAFE EVEN IF DELETED FROM THE COMPUTER (LIKE IT HAPPENED TO MY OTHER ASKS)

AND SINCE THEN I DIDN’T BOTHER GOING TO MY DRAFTS.

AND I FORGOT THIS WAS HERE.

JAZ.

JAZ OMG

JAZ PLEASE HIT ME WITH A NEWSPAPER I’M A HORRIBLE CREATURE HOW IN THE W O R L D COULD I FORGET TO REPLY TO YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

*PUNCHES THROUGH THE WALL*

*SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK*

*EXPLODES*

ALKSJDALKFJGADLKGJAGLKAGJAD

Okay you let me add a keep reading right here aaah ;A;

Oh my god, Jaz….Jaz I’m so sorry, I don’t even know where to start apologizing, I’m so sorry. I honestly forgot and that’s the worst part. If I had been busy for real I would have had an excuse at least, but the truth was just that; I put this in my drafts and then forgot it was there. I rarely check my drafts because that’s where I put stuff that I want to reblog at some point but don’t know when because it’s not FFXV related so I just wait until I’m done with the XV reblogs but I never am, and I just assumed everything in drafts was stuff to reblog, I totally forgot there was an ask here that I hadn’t replied to and that it was yours, I’m so sorry, so, so, so sorry, Jaz… :(

I don’t offer an excuse and if you’re upset you have all the rights to be, I understand. Jesus, it’s been a while since Ir eplied this and I mean, there are asks in my inbox that are like a year old but those are prompts or requests and it’s fine, but yours was a personal and it’s been so long for me to answer to it aklsdjalkgjadklgja omg Jaz I’m so sorry….

I’m sorry, Jaz, very sincerely. Zomg…I’m sorry OTL

Well. Still answering ahah ;w;

HEWWO JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Akjdlsafdgalkfjaklhj hhhnnnngnggg. HEWWO JAZ!!! ;w; I’m sorry OTL

Don’t worry about being busy. Real life is already super busy as it is and then we get here and it can get sort of ‘busy’ in its own non-serious way too! I hope that whatever’s been keeping you /kept you busy has given you a break from time to time and that it’s something you enjoy.

I’m doing well! A little ‘busy’ in the non-serious way trying to nail down all my PMs and asks (I’ve lately had a quite excited anon flooding me ahahahah! It’s lovely but keeps me super busy because each I answer gets drowned by another incoming 5 ;w;) and the reblogs and the fics. I’m having funa nd take my breaks to make it enjoyable and not turn it into something I dislike, but hence it goes slower. And out of Tumblr I’m doing okay too!

How have you been, dear Jaz? Besides WAITING FOR MY ASK OTLHave yuo been alright? And happy? I wonder what else you’ve been up to since you last wrote to me!! Hoping sincerely that it’s been okay with you too because you too deserve SO MUCH HAPPINES LIKE LOADS OF IT!!!!!!! You’re such a nice and good person that does no harm to others, you deserve all em happy things and events. U HAVE ALL IT GOOD KARMA, MY FRIEND!!!

GASPS

YOU’VE BEEN WRITING AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JAZ, THAT’S PHENOMENAL! THAT’S ABOSLUTELY WONDERFUL, AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, JAZ, I’M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU AND ABOUT IT, I’M SO HAPPY AND SO PROUD TO KNOW THAT YOU’VE TAKEN UP ON SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL LIKE WRITING, AND MORE THAN TAKING UP, RETAKING BECAUSE IT MEANS YOU USED TO ENJOY IT, LEFT IT FOR SOME REASON, AND YOU RETOOK IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM*

*EXPLODES*

Jaz, that’s WONDERFUL NEWS!!!! Omg buddy that’s fantastic, you have no idea how happy it makes me when someone says they’ve taken up/retaking a form of art. It’s so beautiful and so exciting, and you’re a friend so that adds a lot to the hype!! Jaz, that’s AMAZING! CONGRATS, BUDDY, I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! ( ˙꒳˙ )

It’s okay that you took a longer break than you had first expected. Be it because you were busy or just lacking the motivation, it’s okay! What matters is that you went back to it and you must have felt so refreshed and welcomed back. The warmest welcoming is the one given after a long wait (but thankfully it wasn’t THAT long either!!). Plus, you took all the time that you needed to get back to it so it means you’re not forcing a single bit of it and that’s PHENOMENAL!!

I’m so happy to know that you’re motivated now, Jaz, all of this is honestly SO GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY :’3 AKLSJDLAKDGJADLKGJAGLKAJGA AAAAAAAHHHHHH, I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!

I guess the first time you sent the first part you were telling me what you were writing, so I don’t know for sure what you meant with hoping that one day I can read ‘it’, but I’d love to! I’m very slow at reading things because of the massive updates I do to my fics, but I think that I’d love to. Is it XV related? Original content? I’d get lost if it’s from something that I don’t know, but I can still try if you want me to

Aaah, thank you for asking about the laptop! Lamentably I’m nowhere close to getting a new one. They’re pretty expensive. I’m fine with one of the cheapest because all I want is basic internet access and MS Word lmao, but they’re still quite a price number and I have no job >

I thought about using the money that I’ve saved up from my kofis, but…to be honest, I’m being consciously selfish there, because I don’t want to waste my kofi money in ¼ of the price of the laptop… ;n; I want the kofi money to be mine for games or books, it’s money I’ve earned from doing what I love and I wanted it to go to selfish things, but I’m still debating with myself as to maybe having to put it for the laptop ahaha ;w;

Again, don’t feel bad for being busy!! Real life stuff is more important, and Tumblr isn’t going anywhere (not without a long time warning that we’ve never had, thankfully!), so don’t you stress. I for sure am going nowhere, so you take the time that you need and want :3

And don’t say you’re ‘not keeping me for longer’, because it’s not like you’re taking my time by force, dear Jaz!! You texting to me is a kind gift to me so you’re not taking any time off me, you’re taking YOUR time!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, JAZ, I’VE MISSED YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*sQUEEZES U*

Sweet precious wonderful dear Jaz, thank you soooooooooooooooo LIKE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR DROPPING BY TO SAY HELLO AND SHARE ALL OF THIS WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, I don’t even know where to start, I’m sorry for taking so long, and thank you immensely for dropping by, my friend!! ;A;

Thank you for the time you dedicated to writing to me and the one to read me. It sounds like you’ve been very busy and I really appreciate that you’ve taken some time to write to me, you have no idea :’(

Thank you for updating me on what you’ve been up to, and thank you for sharing with me that you’ve retaken your writing!! Those news made me so happy, and re reading still makes me feel shivers out of the joy askldjfdaklgjaklgjadglkj

Thank you for being as kind and as gentle as you always are with me. You’re so precious and I hope you know that. You’re always so nice and patient and so good with me, I don’t know how to express it enough or how to let you know or how to thank you properly :’3 Thank you so much for being the sweet and warm creature that you are, Jaz. You’re truly phenomenal and I’m very happy that you exist. The world can very easily wear me out, and it’s creatures like you that relieve it off my shoulders. Thank you

I’ve missed you SO MUCH TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every time I re fave both your artworks I think about you and I was wondering what you were doing and if you were okay. And there I was, forgetting that it was me who never replied... :’D Really, seriously, I’m so sorry, Jaz, I didn’t mean to take this long... OTL

I hope that you’ve been okay, Jaz! Have you been okay and doing better? How’s the writing going? I’m eager to hear about you again, buddy!! :3

I WUV U TOO, JAAAAAAAAAAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALKSDJAKLGDJDAKLGJDAGLKDAJ AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, LOTS OF HUGS FOR MAH BUDDY JAZ!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

Dear Jaz, I hope you’re having a FANTASTIC weekend, and do receive lots of raccoonie hugs and sparkles!! HUGZ

#sashinia2000 #coonreplies

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runaway-train-works · 6 years

Text

ANNUAL WRITING SELF-EVALUATION 2018

I wasn’t officially tagged by anyone but I decided to do it anyways because I’m starting the year right with #selflove2019.

ALL FICS MUST HAVE POSTED ON AO3 IN 2018

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3: 7 (but 4 belong to the same AU so 4 separate stories I guess?)

2. Word count posted for the year: 144,725

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting):

I Won't Give Up So Come And Get Me

I’ve Been Hoping You’d Be Somewhere Better Than This (Ad Au)

You Sent This Hurricane Now It Won’t Go Away (Ad Au)

I Put My Dreams Into You They’ll Grow (Ad Au)

Baby I Need You In A Serious Way (Ad Au)

And Touch Me Like You Never

Better Not Pout, I’m Telling You Why

4. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

5. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson,

6. Story with the most:

Kudos: I Won’t Give Up So Come And Get Me (581)

Bookmarks: I’ve Been Hoping You’d Be Somewhere Better Than This (291)

Comments: Better Not Pout, I’m Telling You Why (45 threads)

9. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

Definitely I Won’t Give Up So Come And Get Me. It’s my first ever fic, and my first attempt at writing anything really (I studied maths in uni and I’ve worked as a manager in hospitality for years, writing is not my thing) so I can’t tell you how scared I was posting it, I was pushing myself way out of my comfort zone by trying something new to me. I must have refreshed the stats/hits screen a billion times but then I got my first kudos and my first comment and I was like, ‘if that's all I get, then I can sleep tonight,’ because at least one person thought it was alright.

10. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

My Santa fic. I was rushing to meet the holiday fic fest deadline and I reckon if I had had another week with it, it could have been better, more polished and the writing slicker, I was just so focused on getting the plot down, some of it is a bit scrappy.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Ohhhh I really don't know. I guess I like the banter from the Ad Au fics, and the lead up to H & L having sex for the first time is probably my favourite, because I don’t think you see scenes like that a lot in smutty fics and I thought it was funny (maybe just me?).

And don’t ask me why, but I really like the line from And Touch Me Like You Never, ‘Harry wants to tell him that there isn’t for him, that there is only one fish and that’s Louis and that he would swim a fucking ocean for him if Louis asked him to. I think to me it just represents their whole relationship in the fic.

12. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

Any comments make me happy, but the readers that give you their reasons for liking a fic are the best. My absolute favourite reader/commenter is QuelquesEtoiles (not sure on their Tumblr? I’m shit at knowing who people are if their names aren't the same on both) because their comments are hilarious and I actually go and re-read them when I’m feeling shit because they make me smile that much, especially the play-by-play on ATMLYN.

13. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I’ve mentioned this before, but I started a fic based on a lumberjack prompt and then the really good lumberjack one came out and it had very similar themes to what I was attempting to write so I just gave up, that was shitty for me but I'm over it now. Also struggled with the Santa fic because my default setting is to make Louis a sassy little shit that’s only nice to Harry so that was difficult for me haha.

14. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Niall in ATMLYN. It wasn't a conscious decision at first to make him Harry’s sounding board, but I think it ended up pacing the story well and would have been too messy to include the other boys.

15. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I didn't grow. I was a brand new baby, and I’m going into 2019 as a toddler; I can say a few things and run around like I think I know what I’m doing but I’m still bound to run into stuff and cry a few times while I’m at it.

16. How do you hope to grow next year:

I have an idea for a pretty big ABO high school fic which will be kinda slow burn and I might post as a WIP on ao3. Slow burn will be a challenge for me because I want H & L to get together from like the second paragraph most of the time and a WIP will be too, as it will take a lot more planning out and developing the story as people are reading and giving feedback which I think will be an interesting process for me.

17. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

I don't really know that many people in the fandom but everyone that has contacted me has been super lovely. Ana (@finck-you-freeky) has been absolutely amazing. We have similar tastes in fics that we read/like and I get her to read all my fics before I post them now because her opinion and notes are invaluable to me. She is also is very supportive when I’m having a bad day and hate every word I have written. I love speaking to people about fics though that aren't my own so it’s good to chat to her about other ones we have read or writers we enjoy.

Also, random shout out, but @blouisparadise have been super nice to me since I started writing, they often include me in their monthly recs and their post for IWGUSCAGM was actually how I found Tumblr in the first place because I found it through google (I’m not a huge social media user), so just want to say thank you to them for the support!

18. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Uh, the inspiration for IWGUSCAGM is very, very loosely based on my flatmate in uni, but her story isn't as charming so I won’t divulge.

19. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Writing for a fandom is a weird thing. You think to yourself about your own works ‘this is so shit, no-one will read this, why am I bothering?’ but at the exact same time you’re like ‘why is no-one reading this? this is brilliant and better than anything anyone else has ever written,’ and I guess I need to try and remember that thats normal for everyone. If you’re writing because you enjoy it, then that will come through in your work and eventually praise will come, even if its not from a lot of people. I’d rather have just one person absolutely love my fic than a hundred people thinks it’s just OK, and I need to remember that when I see fic lists and reblogs that don’t include my name. Having said that, if you had asked me this a week ago I would have said no, I have no wisdom to share, but after several lovely people have included me in their ‘best fics of 2018′ I would say that not worrying about not being ‘shouted about’ is something I’m going to start doing more of (hopefully). I seriously thought no-one knew who I was or cared about anything I wrote because I don't get a lot of acknowledgement on Tumblr, particularly from the big blogs and fic reccers. It made me sad and I just didn’t know what to do about it, but as it turns out, some people were reading my stuff and enjoying it, and you don’t necessarily have to have a hundred reblogs and notifications of your posts for that to happen.

20. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Along with the ABO one, I’ve got a couple of short fic fest ones that are ready to post (thats not til february), I’m writing a sort of birthday one which I’ll post on H’s actual birthday. Also have an idea for a boxer harry one which is basically just pwp. Have two musical fic fest ones I’m excited about and that are a bit different. Also might try a different pairing, maybe a Ziam or a past Zarry? So yeah, lots to work on. Will see what happens.

21. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

I feel like most people have done this now, but if you haven’t do it!

#2018 review #my fics #writing stuff #fic writing #runaway_train

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