#when you don’t understand the apathy just follow the money | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nokingsonlyfooles · 4 months

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Finish the Feed and Plug the Thing!

I write this! Steampunk! Dieselpunk! Indy! Found family! Magic! Listen: social media is very challenging for me, I'm only sticking around here because I want people to look at my work. Did you hit "follow" at some point because you like what I like? MAYBE YOU'LL LIKE THIS!

I SEE 44 FOLLOWERS AND I WILL GET EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU TO CLICK EVENTUALLY! I WILL WEAR YOU DOWN!! I'M A FROG ON THE EDGE! I MEAN IT!

Ahem.

Known readers: 3 (hi!) 1st goalpost: 10?

Known supporters: Still not asking yet, just letting you know, I will take your money when I start posting more story!

And now, so as not to be too ridiculously long for your feed (thank you for your patience) a sample under the cut!

[Ha-ha-ha, yeah, but the thing I'm writing right now is more of a side gig. It's been stressful this week. I fell into a Hazbin Hotel fic that I'm afraid to show anyone, because it looks like I made a Mary Sue and that's not what I'm about. But it's got David in it, who has returned to Soldier On from the grave and begun impacting the plot again. (That's a mild spoiler, but, c'mon, you must've suspected. He's always getting into places he doesn't belong.)

[Mind if I shoot you a few paragraphs from this otherwise useless, self-indulgent thing, so you can meet him in noodle-bird form? The gag about the Stages of Grief was that they are Denial (Charlie), Anger (Husk), Apathy (Angel), Concern For Your Girlfriend (Vaggie) and Blowing Shit Up While Obnoxiously Australian (Cherri) but I trimmed off the opening so it's just David's arrival, and all you see is Serial Murder (Alastor). Oh, god, I am forever explaining myself...]

A glowing orange hand, much the same shade as the portal, peeked hesitantly out of one side, and swiped through the air as if testing the temperature of the bathwater. Finding no bathtub, it eventually lit on the wall, and scratched the wallpaper with a red lacquered talon. It slid down and found the floorboards. “Oh, well,” said a male, but terribly fussy voice. “Might as well give it a shot!”

The hand vanished. An instant later, it returned, clutching the handle of a purple cloth suitcase. The suitcase thumped on the floor, followed by a shiny shoe with a white spat, and a striped trouser leg.

A fiery orange bird-creature in a purple frock coat emerged, trailing red and blue flames from its head like the tail of a comet. Then again, that wasn’t even the weirdest hair in the room right now, let alone historically. “Ah, hello.” He bowed. “Sorry to bother you. Is this the Happy Hotel?”

Charlie squealed. “That guy just deadnamed my Hotel!”

“Sorry…?”

“Hazbin,” said a grinning shadow with narrowed eyes. One might call this the unprecedented seventh Stage of Grief (Serial Murder), and a very good reason to stop at five.

“What is it now?” said the bird, with apparent sincerity.

Alastor materialized, smiling — as always — resplendent in red, and with a razor-thin veneer of patronizing levity concealing his violent nature. “Ha-ha!” Two syllables, not quite a laugh. “We have an Abbott and Costello fan!”

“Abbott and Costello?” said the bird. He shook his head. “Sorry, it’s always a bit disorienting. Must’ve dropped my timely references. Mind if I go out and come in again?” Without pause, he exited via the portal, and climbed back in. He pointed a knowing finger at Alastor. “Abbott and Costello! The comedy duo! Vaudeville! Oh, you must be ancient…”

Alastor was still smiling, with narrowed eyes, one of which gave a slight twitch.

“I don’t get it,” the bird admitted. He leaned closer and blinked at the smile. “Are you feeling quite well? Do you have head trauma?” He laughed. “Or do I?” He touched his own head, feeling it, and the flames, with both hands. “I do seem to have something worthy of traumatizing. Does anyone have a reflective surface?” He glanced aside at the man in red, who was still grinning. “...Although I quite understand if you’ve covered them all.”

“...Who the fuck are you?” said the Radio Demon, with unusual clarity.

“David Valentine!” He extended a hand, which was not accepted.

The spider recoiled.

The bird did, too, but only a half step. “Sorry?” He leaned forward cautiously. “I have a few other names, if you don’t like that one? Um… Oh, God, have I been here before?” He took a single step towards Angel. “Listen, whatever I did, I assure you, I am perfectly… I am reasonably sober now, and I will never do it a…”

“We’re very pleased to meet you, David!” Charlie said, pumping his proffered hand. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!”

“What is it now?” David said, blinking. He laughed. “Oh, I get it. I get it! That’s hilarious!” He clapped Charlie on the back. When he looked up, there was a grinning face with a twitching eye examining him from a near distance. He backed off a pace and straightened his cravat with a polite chuckle — followed by a shriek. “Christ! is that an actual eyeball or a clever design? Is my tie alive? Is that me? Is this even a suit? Are we all naked?”

Nobody was offering any opinions on the ontological nature of living clothes, but they did seem a bit perturbed by the cravat with the expressive eyeball, so he tucked it back into his vest.

“Sorry! I know I’m being a bit weird, but I’ve travelled quite some way and I may not technically be authorized to be here.” He grinned, displaying neither tongue nor teeth but a gullet full of yellow flame. “But that’s never stopped me! Hmm…” He turned, touched a hand to the centre of the portal, and collapsed it back into nothingness. He winked. One eye was pitch black with a single fleck of white serving as a pupil, the other glowing yellow with a red iris. “Before someone notices!”

“Can I get you a chair?” Charlie whispered in Alastor’s direction. Unfortunately, it was more of a stage-whisper.

Several shadow tentacles sprouted, though they were not aimed in Charlie’s direction. Yet. “No.”

David Valentine was making do with the reflective surface of a glassed-in Lillith poster. He combed back his hair, or whatever that was, with both hands, then examined the hands, both sides. “It’s not quite what I’m used to, but I think it suits me. Love the manicure!” He laughed. “It’s nice to have something corporeal of my own again. I’ll have to oil my hair with lamp oil! Ah!” He turned and posed in front of the glass. “And so thin! Really, incredibly…” He glanced at the others. “Please tell me, has Persephone been winding us all up? Is there food in Hell?”

Angel lifted a hand and volunteered, “Yeah, but it’s shitty and expensive.”

“Oh.” David pointed and nodded. “Like Vegas.”

Angel cackled. “Yeah!”

“Lobsters scream when you drop them in boiling water,” Niffty said, vibrating with joy. “Most things scream when you drop them in boiling water.”

David leaned down and measured her little body with one hand. She was still vibrating. “Is child labour legal in Hell?” he said.

“Yeah,” Angel said. “But I don’t think Niff qualifies. I ain’t sure what she is.”

“Unhinged,” Niffty said. She smiled — she had been, and it was terrifying, but now it was more. “Are you a bad boy?”

David gave an airy laugh. “I make a good girl!”

Vaggie introduced herself, spear point first. “Listen, cabrón, where, exactly, are you from?”

“Exactly?” said David, blinking. “Oh, dear.” He sighed, shaking his head. “That’s always a bit difficult. I have what you’d call a ‘context-based’ memory…” He pointed a sharp finger. “You know that thing where you get up to do something, and you go through a door, and you forget why in fuck you got up in the first place, so you’re just sort of wandering around pointlessly and trying to remember so you don’t have to turn around and go back?”

There were a few puzzled nods. The gentleman with the evident head trauma abstained, but David quite understood.

“Well, I’ve been through several doors to get here and I’ve left a lot of context behind me. I am positive I don’t belong here, but, let’s see…” He counted on his fingers. “I’ve sinned, I’ve died, I’ve continued sinning, and I’m very much hoping to be a better person…”

“That’s what we do!” Charlie said.

“...for the sake of my friends — one of whom died to get away from me…”

“Pardon?” said Angel. “You wanna back up, there?”

“Oh, he’s just being silly,” David said. “I’ll find him eventually!” He cleared his throat. “...and the other of whom is rapidly nearing the end of her finite existence. I fucked up her whole childhood, and it looks like most of her adulthood, and I was really hoping to make amends before she goes into hiding like he did. Oh! And I’m not at all interested in going to Heaven,” he added, with a firm shake of his head. “No. I’ve been — to my version of it, anyway — and it’s terribly dull.”

Charlie’s expression fell. “What?”

The strident sound of a game show buzzer played. The audience seemed very disappointed. Alastor joined them. “Aww. That’s a real shame. But thanks for playing!” He strode forward. “The Hazbin,” he paused, for emphasis, “Hotel is only concerned with redeeming the souls of worthy sinners in need of a second chance. Interloping travellers who are,” he popped up over the flaming bird’s shoulders and made a beaky mouth with one hand, “‘not at all interested’ in going to Heaven need not apply!”

[I dunno. I'm trying to get over myself and numb the shame, but if you like the style, I write like that! That's me! I've written a lot more! And if you hate it... Please don't tell me,. It's a work in progress. I may never show it to anyone anyway. I just think David would do well there, if they don't kill him, and he has a good reason. He just found Hyacinth again!]

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laviedavantgarde · 2 years

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Putting this rant below so that no one gets bombarded with my discontents.

If you are a college student or know someone is a college student, please do the work that your professor gives you.

I get that not every class you will take will be great. You will have to take prerequisite courses in order to take the classes you need for your program or degree.

I teach a composition (writing) course that every student needs to take. I get some folks do not like writing, and that’s okay! I expressed this sentiment to my students on the very first day of class. However, you need to do the assigned readings and work in order to pass. I do not care if you pass with a C. (This makes my overachieving self shiver uncomfortably, but I digress.)

I took classes that were absolutely not my jam. (Statistics and science classes mainly.) While I did not like these subjects, I gave them my all, and I got Bs in these classes. (For someone who is not a STEM person, I considered this a win.) Did I whine and complain to my friends and family? I sure did. However, I bit the bullet and went through these classes in order to not retake them and have my GPA drop and spend even more money on tuition.

Look, as an adjunct professor, I do not make enough money as it is. Contrary to popular belief that professors don’t give a crap about their students and want them to fail and be “indoctrinated” to leftist ideals (Seriously? Some of my students do not read the syllabus or are aware of due dates. This is a running joke in higher ed.), I care about every single student. I want them to do well so they do not need to retake this course. However, this is college, and so I am going to challenge them in a healthy manner. After all, this is how we grow as people.

As a student, you need to follow and read the syllabus. You need to be aware of your professor’s expectations for their course. You need to do the assigned homework/projects/papers/tests they assign you.

I understand college is not for everyone, and some of you may figure this out while you take classes. Despite me raving about academia on here, I do not judge people on whether or not that they went to college, or had to drop out of college for financial, personal, or other circumstances beyond their control. I have students who work jobs, have families, or have other responsibilities outside of classes. I understand the constant juggling of responsibilities and school, and I get that people may have to drop a course or two if they need to change their priorities.

I will not be pleased at students who just do not want to do the work assigned and then they blame me for their inability to do said work. I treat students like adults and not high schoolers. This type of IDGAF behavior will not be acceptable in your higher level college courses and in your jobs/careers. Apathy for not liking me and/or the course will not get you anywhere, and you are not only wasting your time and tuition coming into a class you are not genuinely taking seriously, but it makes me feel quite disrespected.

Not everyone has to like me and/or my class I teach, but I see the transparent apathy and carelessness of some students. At the end of the day, this is about your performance in the class.

As a baby professor, this is some free and valuable information on the professor side of the coin. Many of us care about student performance and want you to pass. However, you need to put in the genuine effort and let us know when you need some additional help. I do see who genuinely wants to pass and who does not through the work and attitudes I get.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

#rant in the read more section about teaching #personal #do not reblog #real life Dr. Hyde (without the crime)#higher education

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despairandregretentertainment · 2 years

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Orphan Crushing Machine || Sephirot || Trial 3-5 || Re: Cappy, Willow, Kei, Jun

Despite their best efforts, Lister still went ahead with what Sephirot knew he would say. At least, part of what they knew he would say. The call to execute Jun was a bit of a surprise but not a surprising surprise. Lister was simply being logical. It was best to target those who were not your allies and Jun was not his ally. What followed from there was all people keeping to this system, though with differing levels of rationality and emotion. Of course the trial got out of hand, as Sephirot had anticipated it would before.

Things descended into an argument over Willow versus Cappy. Not just on a murderer level but on a personal one. An argument Sephirot was ready to add their own points to as well as add other points to the trials pile. Still while they considered this all in a calm manner, their emotions were far from such a state. Things said and ignored by some here were frustrating at the least. At least when Sephirot had ignored Castor it had been on purpose. This they felt was just blindness from rage and stubbornness.

"Willow I will be completely straight with you, and anyone else wanting to listen who thinks I don’t understand anything Willow is going through or blah blah blah whatever. You know my name? It's mostly a secret for amusement. My name is Sorano Amanjaku. Somebody from Tokyo might know what that last name means. I, also, grew up with wealth! My family was the premier dispenser of fish in Tokyo for a long time. Big surprise. Hooray. Nobody gives a fuck. See I also understand some of Willow's situation yeah?

Corrupt and greedy assholes. They decide that they are kind of pissed at your parents existing. At them being in their way. At them being a potential threat to a small portion of the pie they control. So, they have an accident staged. A crashing car, or, a burning building. And then, suddenly you are without the people who cared for you, because of said greedy asshole who thinks they can do whatever they want because they have money and prestige. Which means they actually can do, whatever they want. And get away with it. Which they do, and they did. Legally, that never happened. Legally, it was an accident. Legally, Willow's mom died in an accident of her own making, right? The difference is I learned from that experience. I took responsibility for the situation I was born into, and the system made to benefit me as well as abuse me. And, that leads to an important point I have to make."

Sephirot refocuses, shifting in their seat so that they could really look at Willow. Their eyes filled with anger, and pity. She deserved both. her experiences and life had earned both. Sephirot would not be like some here who might offer her one without the other. Doing so would be a disservice to the woman.

"You said that people like Cappy killed your mom too. That's a fucking lie. That's a lie, or you're actually as stupid as you act. Which, that would explain why you fail to see what I mean when I criticize you in various ways. The people who killed your mom, were your family. People of station, and wealth, and power. People who believe they can do whatever they want, to whoever they want, as long as that person is below them. People with such a greed that they can never really feel happiness, because that is necessary for such extreme greed. Your mom was not killed by an angry woman that had been broken and stepped on by powerful people. Your mom was killed by the same type of person that killed Cappy's mom, and my parents. And instead you say it was somebody like Cappy who did it. Because you only see anger at you and not the system that sees you as a disposable cog in a machine fueled by blood and greased with apathy.

(Cw: Child abuse/grooming) You know who killed your mother? Your father did. he did when he took her in, for the purpose of amusing himself. Because he felt like taking care of a poor child for amusement and for his kids to play with. The man who, groomed her to reach a point where she could make that mistake you said she did. A mistake I am sure he poked at, and prodded, and hinted, and joked. Until eventually she gave in, like he always had planned her to do. Because he can do that. because he is rich, and powerful, and nobody will stop him. And then, nobody did. And then, other rich and powerful people, saw a woman, being used by him, with no power because she was a toy, and saw her as a potential threat. Saw her and was angry that somebody like her had the audacity to be your fathers toy. And, as a result, they killed her. And his apathy, was guaranteed. Because his children are his children. With his blood. And your mom, was an object. A simple, poor woman, with inferior genes and inferior upbringing. She wasn't a human.

(CW: end/) And you, for some reason, refuse to fully accept this reality. And since you refuse you accept it, I have to assume, you will eventually do what all people abused by the system at your level do. They become a part of it. And abuse others. Like you already do. Refusing to take responsibility until forced to. Lashing out for frustrating you or having the audacity to challenge you. You act like them. Being a victim, does not make you unable to be an abuser, or be a part of the system that abused you." With that, Sephirot sat back, and took a deep breath. None of that had actually added anything to the trial, but they had felt a need to say it regardless. Now they needed to address the situation of the trial.

"As for the trial… Honestly I have never voted with care for who the killer was. I voted for Akio because he called me like nine slurs and also was a clear threat to my team by being on it. I voted for Benny because she was a disgusting evil monster of a human. This is a social game. Honestly Jun has been the most correct person out of anyone tonight, as far as i have seen. Jun is smarter than all of you, or at least brave enough to say it. Cappy is not currently a threat. I don't know if she killed Peach and I don't really care. I don't care if Willow did either. What I do care about is, Willow is a threat. She is easily angered, and prone to harming others in this game. She has already injured Chris, twice, due to her inherent cruelty. She is a victim of abuse, yes… But she is still responsible for herself. And, honestly, I feel like not voting her out is not only endangering me but also a lot of my allies. It seems stupid to keep her around. So that's my point."

#submission

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aro-is-gay-af · 3 years

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The Midnight of Despair | Volturi Kings x fem!reader

As you all can see, I got carried away just a little with this one. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but I'm planning at least part two, since this part got soooo long.

Anyway!

I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing. Sorry for any grammatical errors, as well as any confusion with syntax. English isn't my native but I always try my best! Constructive criticism is always welcomed.

Please, pay attention to the warnings. If you are uncomfortable with any of the topics, simply do not read.

I pictured here Aro from the films (as Michael Sheen is perfect for this part), Caius from the films (maybe a little bit older) and Marcus from the films but his younger self (maybe 20?). Also, I wrote at one point that [Y/N] has blonde hair and blue eyes but it just helped me with the descriptions. Obviously, you can picture characters according to your wishes.

Warnings: Rape (graphic description!), Depression, PTSD, Swear words, Forced Pregnancy

Word count: 7816 (!)

Summary: [Y/N] and Bella are childhood friends. They were always there for each other. [Y/N] had tough times and struggles with everyday life. Bella faces depression after Edward had left her. [Y/N] tries to get her going and alive. One day [Y/N] is raped and gets pregnant with the rapist. Not long after that it turns out that Edward got himself into the mess with Volturi. [Y/N], even traumatized and in pieces, will not let Bella go without her supervision to Italy. What is going to happen when [Y/N] will stay at Volterra? Is she really predestined to be Kings' mate? Is she going to have her baby or abort the pregnancy? Will the trauma go away or is she going to struggle for a long time?

You thought that the death of your parents was enough to break you. As they say, if you’re not willing to bend, you’ll break. And you did. After all.

Ever since you’ve been born, everything went downhill. You were a weak child and within your first five years of life, you’ve gone through countless surgeries. Something was terribly wrong with your spine and the doctors were worried that you wouldn't be able to move normally.

You got your ‘happily ever after’. After fourteen surgeries and taking more than a dozen medications, you could be considered healthy. It made you remember the better part of your childhood. At this point, you couldn’t even recall constant visits at hospital or ingesting enormous amount of drugs.

What you could recall, was the agony that your mom went through while dying of pancreatic cancer. You tried to help her but there was literally no help available. Sure, chemo did help, but only a little tiniest bit. When someone got this type of cancer, there was only one way to die. It was neither pretty, nor pleasant.

So your mother died when you were sixteen. Your father followed shortly after her. He suffered from severe depression after your mother’s passing, but it was the car accident that got him killed. You were just before your graduation.

You’ve finished school and tried to go on. It wasn’t exactly an easy path to follow. You had the feeling that fate had made you its whore and the devil knows his jokes. Somehow, you got through college. You used the money from your dad's insurance policy entirely for your education. It was the only thing you could do to secure your future.

At 22, you got a job at the same hospital where doctor Cullen worked. You were a nurse on the paediatrics ward, but the hospital in Forks was so small that you often found yourself working with doctor Cullen. He was always kind to you and exuded a fatherly warmth. However, like everyone from Cullen family, he was slightly withdrawn from all conversations and social activities.

You noticed a slight change in his behaviour when your best friend, Bella, started dating with the doctor's youngest son, Edward. Carlisle has been talking to you more and more. The conversations weren't long – more like short exchanges of words, whether about his family’s well-being or any leisure activities both of you devoted yourselves after work. Nevertheless, you started calling each other by the others’ given name.

You met with Bella on average once a week. Sure, you were four years older than her, but the age difference never was a problem. You always got along well, and age had nothing to do with it. With time, you've watched Bella thrive during her relationship with Edward and you've enjoyed her happiness. Your relationship had loosened a little, but you didn't hold it against her. With Forks being so small, you could easily meet Bella on the street or in a shop and talk to her about silly things or this boyfriend of hers. It made her blush furiously every time you brought up the topic, especially if Edward waited nearby.

And then, just like that, something snapped. Of course, you heard about their huge quarrel about god knows what, and that Bella wanted to make herself scarce immediately. Charlie called you that night if , by any chance, you could talk some sense into her. Bella not once picked up her phone and then she got her stupid ass into the hospital. And magically reconciled with Edward. That’s when you started to be suspicious. Something wasn’t right about this situation, at all, but you let it be.

Time passed and even though you liked Carlisle as a colleague, you became gradually suspicious about him and his family. Things that you noticed were little, almost insignificant, but something told you that there’s more than meets the eye. Bella herself began to limit contact with you, mainly due to her lack of time for Edward. But when you did get a chance to meet and talk, the subject of Edward still came to the surface.

You tried to understand your friend, while not understanding her at all. You also were in love once but your mother's illness and then your father's death took too much of a toll on you, to experience your first love in such an intense way. It was incomprehensible to you, how Bella could lose her head so much for this boy. And yet you tried, tried to be there when Bella needed you the most. Simply because you were a good friend and also because you needed a friend.

You were left alone, out in this world, with no one to care about and no one to love. Only Bella, as present and, most importantly, alive person, connected you with your childhood and good memories from that time. She was the only one left. You considered her your family and you didn’t want to lose her too. Not after all you’ve been through.

At the day of her birthday, you saw her quickly after her school. You gave her a small gift and you both agreed to meet a day later because Edward's family had invited her to stay at their place. After that birthday, everything changed. The next day Bella went missing. You went to her house exactly as agreed and Charlie said she had been gone for a few hours.

When Bella was found later that evening by Sam, Charlie's colleague, everything became frighteningly clear. The Cullens had moved out of town. Apparently, Carlisle had gotten a lucrative job somewhere else. That didn't surprise you, he was a really great doctor. But how could he not mention a word of it to you? Not that you were so close to him but you considered him a good comrade of yours and moving out of town like this, without a word… It seemed extremely strange to you.

The months that followed were very similar. Bella fell into a deep depression and apathy. You came to visit her, but during these visits it was mainly you who talked. You talked about work, about your next qualification course and about the anniversary of your mum's death. Bella mostly remained silent. Charlie confirmed that, yes, she did go to school, but apart from that, she sat in her room all day and stared at the window.

You knew from Charlie that she was slowly trying to reconnect with her friends. And that she was spending a lot of time with that boy from the reservation. You were happy because it meant that your friend was slowly coming back to life. Maybe not back to normal, not yet, but at least she was trying. And you were trying too. To be a good friend, a good sister to her.

You started talking more during your visits at her house. Unlike before, the subject of Edward didn't exist. It was as if he had never existed. So you did not mention him at all. Bella was healing, slowly, just as you were, when both of your parents died. She was there for you, even if you could only talk to her on the phone because, at that time, she permanently lived with Renee.

For the first time in several months, you hoped that things would somehow work out. In your life, the moments when you were truly happy never lasted long. It was the same this time. One day, you went to Port Angeles to buy new clothes for work. Yours were still from your university days, worn out, but not so long ago you were short of money and preferred to spend it on other things rather than buying new clothes.

By the time you got back to your car it was pretty late. The car park was deserted. On your way to the car, a man accosted you and, before you knew it, he had hit you on the head with something heavy. When you woke up, you were in a squalid alley. The man was pressing you against a wall with all his strength. You only realised what he was going to do, when you felt a cool breeze brush against your bare legs. Your trousers and underwear were almost at your ankles. You started to squirm, trying to free yourself from his iron grip. You heard his quiet giggle next to your ear.

"Don't resist angel, I’ll be quick," he whispered in your ear, pawing at your breasts with his left hand. You felt sick to your stomach. He had hideous breath, as if he had been drinking for three days, then puked and drank again. You started to jerk harder, to pull away, but it only caused you pain. He held tight, pushing against you with his whole body and whispering disgusting things under his breath. When he finally entered you, he tugged hard on your hair. He made no effort to cover your mouth because you didn't even try to scream. You were out of breath, unable to say a word. You were afraid that he would kill you. You wanted him to go away so that the pain would end and you could finally go home.

When he finished, he let you go and just walked away. You stood there, half naked, frozen and shaken, for god knows how long. You were unable to move. When you felt his semen running down your leg, you finally managed to vomit. Your cheek was bruised and scratched from how hard he pressed you against the rough wall. You wanted to go home, but you didn't have the strength to get up from the street.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, but you finally got up. You got dressed and walked to your car. Everything hurt. You didn't want to, but you knew, you had to go to the hospital. You could not leave it like that. He had already hurt you, but what about the others? You couldn't let that happen. All the way to the hospital in Port Angeles your hands were trembling. Returning to that memory, you didn't even remember how you got to the ER.

At the hospital, they took care of you properly. They called the police. Two female doctors were there for a medical examination. The nurses were very nice. You tried to put on a good face. You've thought about how your sexual experiences has been so far. Your first sex, like most people's, was terrible. Your boyfriend was two years older, you were 17 and it all went wrong. You were in pain. He didn't seem too happy either. Up until you graduated from high school, you tried to make it work somehow, but there were never any fireworks. It wasn't until college that you discovered the good side of sex.

However, you never had sex with someone you loved more than life. You haven't met anyone like that. And you were sure that sex with that person would be unique and exceptional. Until now, of course. Lying on a hospital bed, you felt exploited. Abused. Filthy. Humiliated. How can one do something like that to another person? The nurse asked if someone could come and pick you up, and you didn't have much of a choice. You called Bella. While she was on her way to the hospital, you let the police officers question you. You mechanically slurred the words as if it wasn't about you at all. As if it wasn’t you that had been raped.

As soon as you saw Bella, you were no longer able to pretend that nothing had happened. You were sobbing and she hugged you tight, telling you that he would pay for it. You weren't so sure about that. You wanted to be home as soon as possible, so you went back to Forks. Bella said nothing while driving because there was nothing that could be said. In the shower, you scrubbed yourself so hard with the pumice that you thought you had taken off all your skin. To your absolute disgust, you could still feel his touch on you. You could hear him whisper against your ear and you could smell his hideous breath.

A week has passed. Bella texted you every day, and you were able to hang out almost every other day. She was a good sister, a great friend. She didn't want to leave you alone in this. Despite being offered leave, you went to work. You didn't want to keep thinking about what happened. Each time, after taking a bath, you were unable to look in the mirror. On the first day, right after scrubbing, you decided to take a look. You had bruises on your stomach, thighs, buttocks and breasts. Your forearms were scraped, your cheek was scratched and bruised. The worst of it was that you had been bleeding for days. The gynaecologist said, it was due to too much force, and the fact that you actively resisted for a while.

You were trying to get back to normal. You went to work, you were seeing Bella and taking your course. But no one could touch you. You didn't even shake hands to say hello. You didn't care at all, you couldn’t endure a touch anymore. Not in any way. You didn't get your period, but the doctor said it could happen. It was a shock to the body and a lot of pain to bear. Also, you bled for almost a week after the rape.

You started to be afraid to go out alone. When in a shop or at work, if anyone approached you from behind, you started panicking and hyperventilating. You couldn’t walk ordinarily on the street. You looked behind every two or three minutes to assure yourself that nobody was following you. Your hands trembled while driving the car or making the tea. Your eyes were starting to water as soon as someone even tried to touch you. You had nightmares and you started losing your mind because of this.

When your period did not come in the following month, you began to worry. Surely you couldn't get pregnant with this... monster. Not you. Of course you have checked. You would not be able to live in such ignorance. It turned out that yes, you indeed were pregnant. When the doctor confirmed it, you fainted. Not you, not like that. You didn't even think you'd ever be a mum. Let alone like this. You hated your body even more and the fact that it had betrayed you in such a villainous way.

You knew this path led to madness. You were in an even worse mental condition, than after losing your mum; than after dad died in the accident. You have shed countless tears. You didn't want to abort this pregnancy, and at the same time you wanted it with all your heart. If only you were able to defend yourself. Break away from him and run as far away as possible. It would never have happened. But you were weak and didn't even have the energy to scream. Would it have made any difference though?

You were constantly beating yourself up with thoughts about whether you should keep the baby, when something completely bizarre happened. Jacob called you that he had to rescue Bella after jumping off a cliff. Annoyed, you got in your car and drove up to the Swans' house. Bella's car wasn't there, so you waited patiently in yours. When they arrived, you were boiling with rage.

“Have you lost your fucking mind?!” you shouted, as you got out of the car.

Bella rolled her eyes. She looked miserable. Her eyes were bloodshot and she was soaked through. She smiled weakly towards you.

“It was just for fun, you know” she muttered, as you hugged her tightly. It was your first closer contact since…

“It was just for sport,” she tried again.

You snorted in annoyance.

“Yeah, sure, get inside before you get sick.”

As you both stepped onto the porch, Jacob unexpectedly grabbed Bella's wrist. They shared a look.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes. You can go now, Jake,” she muttered, trying to disentangle herself from his grasp.

You smiled weakly at him, while Bella was looking for her keys.

“Cool, I'll take care of her until Charlie gets back. Thanks for saving her stupid ass,” you said. Jacob smiled amused, but still seemed slightly tense.

“No problem. Always at your service,” he joked. “Well... See ya around,” he said goodbye and walked away to his car.

You walked into the house with Bella.

“What were you thinking? You could have died” you muttered under your breath, stripping off your jacket.

“Well...actually I wasn't thinking, like, at all” Bella admitted, smiling apologetically at you.

“Next time think about Charlie,” you said, hugging her once more. Your body screamed that you shouldn't do that, but you were glad that Bella was okay.

While Bella changed into dry clothes, you made hot tea for both of you. Someone knocked on the door. The knocking was not from the front, but from the courtyard. You walked slowly to the door and opened it. Edward's sister, Alice, stood in front of you. You wouldn't have known what she looked like, if Bella hadn't shown you pictures of her. But other than that, you knew quite a bit about her, because when Bella was still with Edward, she couldn’t kept her mouth shut about Alice.

“Hi. Can I come in?” she asked politely. She tried to look normal, but there was something in her behaviour that made you nervous. You were about to reply, when Bella appeared in the kitchen.

“Alice!” she squealed, throwing herself around the brunette's neck. After a moment, she pulled away and looked at Alice in disbelief. "Are you really here? Or am I just dreaming this?" asked Bella.

It was your turn to roll the eyes.

“Of course she’s here” you said, now slightly annoyed. “Don’t be bothered by me, please, proceed to whatever you wanted to say.”

Your sarcastic tone was not intended, but justified. You were slowly beginning to get fed up with this family's games. First they move out and turn Bella's life upside down, and now the big comeback? Something's not right here. Besides, at that moment, you weren't the right person to play with. You had enough problems of your own and your life was messed up enough. What you didn't know at that moment, was that everything was about to change fundamentally very soon.

Alice took no notice of you.

"Bella, listen. Edward thinks you committed suicide. He told me that he doesn't want to live either, so he is on his way to the Volturi to ask them for an execution."

You had no idea what she was talking about. Bella was terrified, and you didn't know what was going on here.

"What, who the fuck are Volturi? Did Edward get involved with some cult? Also, how did he know Bella killed herself?" you asked, not understanding anything of what Alice was talking about earlier.

"We have to go to Italy, Bella,” she ignored you once more. “If they refuse him, I'm not sure what he'll do" as Alice spoke, Bella began to gather herself quickly to leave.

You grabbed her hand.

"And where do you think you are going?" you asked in disbelief. Bella looked at you apologetically.

"Y/N, I have to go. They're going to murder him. Just the fact that I'm alive will convince him."

You snorted in disbelief.

"You're dead serious? And can't you call him and tell him it's a misunderstanding? Besides, Bella, this guy ghosted you. He left you here, alone, with not one explanation and you want to fly to the other side of the world to save this dumb ass?" you asked, trying to take your mind off this ludicrous circumstance.

“Oh my god, we’ll take her with us if she’s not going to back down” said Alice in exasperation.

“And to your kind information, I won't back down. Your douchebag brother and the rest of your family turned her adrift. I was the one who pulled her out of her depression, and I will not let the exact same thing happen again because of any of you,”you hissed out in anger. You saw something in Alice's eyes that you considered to be admiration.

You looked at Bella expectantly.

“Y/N, I still love him. I cannot let this go” Bella whispered and you felt as your chest tightened. “Please…”

You heaved a heavy sigh.

“Okey, but I’m coming with you,” you decided and noticed that Alice's eyes were momentarily clouded with mist. You had no idea what was going on here, but you were sure that this whole affair with the Volturi, whoever the hell they were, didn't sound good.

After a few seconds, Alice looked at Bella, then at you and back at Bella.

“Get your coats, we have to go now,” she said.

“But Alice...” protested Bella.

“There's no time for that. We'll explain everything to her on the way. If we start now, we won't get out of here until noon” she muttered exasperatedly, walking out of the house. You looked at Bella.

“Bells, what's this all about?” you asked, and she just sighed quietly. You both quickly got your shoes on.

“We'll tell you on the plane but I'm afraid the Volturi won't like that a lot,” she said with worried expression on her face.

When you were at the airport waiting for a plane, you had countless questions in your head. Why the fuck Edward was pulling such nonsense? Why to be so dramatic about thing that didn’t even happen? Did this idiot really get involved in some sort of cult? And why was his sister so concerned about it that she decided to tell you ‘everything’, whatever needed to be said? However, the question that kept you wondering was who were the mysterious Volturi and what could they possibly resent about you?

One thing you were sure of. There hadn't been a moment since the sexual assault when you hadn't thought about it. And now your thoughts were occupied by the mysterious Volturi and you immensely wanted to find out what it was really all about.

⋎⋎⋎

On a plane ride, you found out that vampires are no fairy tales and your best friend was in love with one. It was a wild thought but, as soon as Alice started taking, you knew it wasn’t a joke. You were given so much information at once that you were unable to respond to anything as Alice finished her long monologue. You had a drink of water, although at that moment you very much regretted not being able to drink whisky.

“Okey, lets say I get most of this…” you said with a low voice, trying to be careful with what you’re saying. “But can you tell me who are Volturi and why would they want to decapitate Edward?” you asked, looking sideways, afraid that someone might hear.

Alice let out a sigh.

“The Volturi are the equivalent of the justice system in our world. They are the ones who created the laws that help us hide from the world, and they are the ones who enforce them. They consider themselves… sort of royalty, as their leaders – Aro, Caius and Marcus – are over three thousand years old.”

If you were to be honest, you were not very good at processing this information. Three thousand years? The first thought that popped into your mind was that they must be immensely lonely. You were sure you wouldn't want to live so many years without having anyone worthy by your side. Later, Alice quickly summarised all the laws that every vampire must obey. They weren't complicated, but when you thought about it a little longer, some of them weren't so easy to follow.

“I don't want to whine, or come off as ungrateful or anything like that, but... didn't you just break the law? By telling me about you?” you asked cautiously, not knowing if what you were saying was right.

Alice sighed again, this time heavier than before.

“It’s complicated” she said succinctly, which interested Bella, who was eating some kind of sandwich.

“This vision of yours was about [Y/N]?” she asked Alice curiously. Alice merely nodded. When Alice told you about her gift, and this was at the very beginning of the story, you found it hard to believe. It wasn’t so unbelievable now.

"Eat something," Alice said to you. "It's good for the baby" she added after a moment, seeing you hesitate. You swallowed heavily, as you suddenly felt sick. The memories of that evening came back.

Alice smiled softly, as if knowing exactly what you were thinking about. And this was supposed to be Edward's gift.

"Do you want to know the sex of the baby?" she asked, and your eyes almost fell out.

"Can you predict that?" you asked in disbelief. She and Bella both smiled. Alice nodded vigorously.

"Yeah, sure. I can't predict if the baby... you know, if it will be born, however, the sex I can tell you.”

You pondered on it, while eating your sandwich. The nausea eased, when you could think of something different than that unlucky evening. Before you knew it, you fell asleep and Alice woke you up when you landed in Italy. As Alice drove the stolen car, you tried to admire the beautiful views of Tuscany outside your window. When you had almost reached Volterra, you thought how wonderful it would be to live here.

⋎⋎⋎

This stupid boyfriend of hers. That was all his fault. Of course, Bella made it at the last minute. You, together with Alice, went to abandon the stolen car somewhere. Although, you had a feeling that you would be returning the exact same way. You tried to reassure yourself. Of course you’ll be returning. Or maybe not? If you were honest, you gave no fucks about it. You had no one who’d wait for you at home, your parents died, you were brutally raped not so long ago, and you didn’t even know if you wanted to keep the baby. Maybe dying today isn’t such a bad idea?

You have reached the square and entered the palace at a very convenient time. The guy who looked like a wardrobe and the other one, much shorter than him and blonde, looked like they were about to murder Edward in this instant. And actually, you felt like you could’ve murdered Edward too. Barely Alice closed the door, you didn't even glance at the two of them, but immediately began to scold Edward for what he had done. To hell with his gift!

“You stupid, immature, irresponsible, reckless and selfish bastard!” you started descriptively, and even Bella was taken aback by your behaviour. Alice raised her eyebrows and two other vampires looked at themselves and then straight at you. Edward had no time for any reply. “If you ever, I repeat, if you ever again do something as childish and irresponsible as expose my best friend to a nervous breakdown and months of depression, I promise you, here and now, that I will decapitate you myself. You're old, and yet a five-year-old child is smarter than you. You utter imbecile,” you hissed with hatred.

Of course, your malice towards him was temporary, but it's been a long time since anyone has angered you like that. The shorter man laughed under his breath, and the other one, who looked like a wardrobe, said:

“Can we keep her? I like the way she’s ruling the roost.”

He fell silent, as a short, pretty blonde woman entered the room. Her face was like a child's, but her eyes... bright red, staring at no one else but you.

“Jane” greeted her Edward. She didn’t even look at him.

“Aro sent me to see what was taking so long” she said. The atmosphere immediately became tense. Edward and Alice seemed to stiffen at the sound of Aro's name. You were curious but not frightened. Not yet.

Jane turned and immediately started walking towards the long corridor. Bella just looked at Edward, and you glanced at Alice.

“Do what she says,” she muttered to you and you both kept pace with the couple in the front.

Needless to say, it was the most stressful and also the most terrifying lift ride you've ever experienced. Not to add the creepy music background. You guessed it was supposed to make you feel better, but instead it made your whole stomach go up to your throat. You were standing right in the middle, next to Bella, holding Alice's hand. The vampire, who looked like a wardrobe, kept looking at you. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves. Puking on someone's shoes isn't going to make this situation any better. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Edward smile. Yeah, the situation you’ve found yourself in was extremely funny indeed.

When you reached the main chamber, you didn't know what to look at first. At the vampires standing against every wall? Not very wise of you. At the marble floor? Nothing to be afraid of for now, so no. You probably should have looked at the three thrones in front of you and the vampires that sat on them, but instead, you were interested in the Latin phrase engraved between the columns above you.

You glanced at your company. Edward looked as if he was about to die. Maybe that's what's going to happen? Alice looked very out of sorts, and Bella, well, she was hanging onto Edward's arm and also looked like she was about to leave this world for good. She was unnaturally pale and you though she was going to faint any second. But it never happened. The rest of the room felt extremely comfortable. For a moment, you turned your head towards the boy who called out to Jane. You did not let go of Alice's hand but you did not feel any anxiety. Curiosity prevailed, mainly because you had come to terms with the fact of your imminent death.

“Sister! Sent you out to get one and you bring back two. And two halves,” the boy who’s just called Jane his sister probably was talking about me and Bella. “Such a clever girl,” he praised her like he wasn’t his sister but someone else entirely. You sighed heavily. Maybe they’re also into incest-kind-of-relationships? Who knows. You looked above your head again. There was a short inscription “vita brevis, ars longa” but you knew the rest of it. Latin was obligatory in every medical school.

When the man from the middle throne stood up, it was to him that you directed all your attention. You felt that something about him was... you had no idea how to describe it, but you felt a strange pull towards him. As if some invisible force had power over you.

“What a happy surprise!” he said pointedly, wide smile on his face. “Bella is alive after all. Isn’t that wonderful?” he said cheerfully, while walking towards Edward. At that exact moment, you realised that you had managed to get yourself into a huge mess. The lair of the vampires. And you were only a weak human. Recently raped. With a baby under your heart.

As soon as the man stepped down from the platform, you were unable to take your eyes off him. His posture, the way he spoke, his demeanour, it all made you feel incredible respect for him. You’ve never felt this secure and calm in your entire life.

“I love a happy ending,” the man said, while he took Edwards’ hand into his. “They’re so rare.”

You were wondering why this man took Edward’s hand in the first place. You did not have to wait long for an explanation.

“Aro can read every thought that I’ve ever had. With one touch” Edward explained to Bella but you were listening too. Very carefully listening. You’ve finally managed to know the name of the vampire. Aro. It suited him well. Although his eyes were a little scary, you were delighted with his charisma and approach to guests. You realised that indeed, they are called the royal family for a reason.

Aro smiled to Edward.

“Her blood appears to you so much,” he whispered, and you had a hard time hearing his words well. Aro’s gaze rested on Bella. “It makes me thirsty. How can you stand to be so close to her?” he asked Edward, who was feeling more and more uncomfortable. You could tell by the fact that he was practically standing like a statue.

“It is not without difficulty,” muttered Edward from behind his clenched teeth.

You swallowed hard, as Aro turned his gaze to Bella again but he smiled.

“Ah, I can see that” he said pleased, moving away from Edward and focusing all his attention on Bella.

“Although you’re a quite soul-reader yourself, Edward, you cannot read Bella’s thoughts” he made a rather dramatic pause, still staring stubbornly at your best friend. “Fascinating” he said, not hiding his curiosity.

You managed to look elsewhere, than at Aro. The man on the throne to your left seemed unusually agitated. He fixed his gaze on you, as if his life depended on it, yet you did not feel uncomfortable. You were surprised to discover that an invisible force was also drawing you towards him. You almost took a step forward. You tried to remember the man from a few minutes ago. He looked as if he had died in that chair a few centuries ago. And now he seemed genuinely moved.

“Brother” the man spoke to Aro, as he got up from his throne. Indeed, there seemed to be an urgency to the matter, for Aro turned around in surprise. You had the impression that the man from the throne had not risen from it for a long time.

“You knew about this, and you brought her anyway?” you heard Edward's quiet whisper, directed at Alice.

Alice looked at her brother, then at you and finally at a curious Aro.

"It would have happened anyway. Better sooner than later" Alice murmured mysteriously. You still didn't know what it was even about. The third man, the one on your right, did not share his brothers' patience.

"Aro, let's hurry this up, Heidi will be here soon, and we don't want to frighten our guests" he said ominously, grinning like a madman. You were far from solving this riddle, but as soon as you looked at him, you felt the same attraction and enigmatic pulling as towards the other two.

Aro took his brother's hand in his own and you could see that his eyes would have lit up with happiness if they could.

“Ah, my dear Marcus! What an exceptional news!” intoned Aro cheerfully, heading towards you. He was slow in his movements, exactly so that you would not be frightened by him. All his movements were framed by an incredible grace.

“My dear, if I may, what is your name?” he asked, coming closer to you. You were unable to take your eyes off him. It was exactly, as if he had hypnotised you, only the feeling was more addictive. You didn't have to have a gift or to be a vampire to know that. For a split second, you ran out of breath and just stared into his red irises.

“My name is [Y/N]” you said, with your voice trembling, as your throat tightened hard under the intense emotions. You couldn't believe it was really happening. Maybe it was just a dream? Maybe these three beautiful men are just a figment of your imagination? You didn't even want to think about the fact that it might not be true.

Aro smiled encouragingly, while looking at you with all the attention that he’d possibly give you. You felt like nothing more was more important than you to him at that exact moment.

"It is an incredible pleasure to meet you, [Y/N]. I am Aro, but you already know that.”

The smile never left his face and during this brief exchange of words, neither of you took your eyes off the other. You felt that the atmosphere in the room had changed. Aro extended his alabaster hand in an inviting gesture.

“May I, my dear?” he asked you politely.

You gulped. Of course, you wanted to show him that you didn't want to give away their secret. You wanted to show him the strange bond you felt towards him and his brothers. However, there were things you didn't want him to see. You felt deep down inside that this attraction had an explanation and you didn't want him to see... Not that. You’d felt exposed and extremely embarrassed. There was also another issue. His hand. You'd hugged Bella twice since it happened and just now you were holding Alice's hand. You didn't know if, when you touched him, you'd start screaming or crying because you were so afraid of someone else's touch.

Yet, his hand looked so inviting, almost familiar, as if you'd already had the chance to touch it before. Aro himself showed no impatience. He waited, still gazing into your blue irises with his crimson eyes. You extended your hand towards him, at first cautiously, and then with a little more confidence. You took a deep breath, before your fingers made contact. When it happened, you felt as if you had come home after many years of wandering. He closed your hand in his, just as he had done with Edward's. His skin was cold, but he handled you extremely gently. You stared into his eyes as he looked at your thoughts and memories of your whole life. You knew instantly when he was done because he smiled sadly at you. He squeezed your hand gently in his.

"Never again, my love. Never again," he assured passionately, and then he leaned down to place a kiss on your hand. It was so light and as gentle as a breeze on a summer day. You couldn't help but smile.

Aro clapped his hands. He was clearly pleased with what had just happened between you.

"Aro, will you explain to me what's going on? I'm sick of waiting," said the nervous brother, who was the only one with blond hair. Aro smiled widely and turned towards him.

"Ah, Caius, you'll never guess. Finally, after so many years, our mate has honoured us with her presence" he said overjoyed and Caius frowned in awe. You were already able to tell that this did not happen often. Marcus, on the other hand, was sitting on his throne, smiling, still looking in your direction. You didn't miss the glances of the other vampires either. Was it some sort of celebration when Marcus was smiling?

“What does that mean?” it was Bella who snapped that question. Aro immediately appeared by her side. He gently stroked her hair, pulling an unruly strand behind her ear. You felt the sting of jealousy, when he touched her face. You should be the one asking that question and not her.

“Ah, and dear Isabella. What to do with you,” he wondered aloud, as if asking others for advice. “As I have far more important matters to deal with....” he began, looking directly at you. “I’d love to see if you’re an exception to my gift as well,” he whispered to Bella, extending his hand towards her. She didn't have much choice, did she? She took his hand, a little hesitantly, but after a short while Aro moved away.

“Interesting” he muttered. “I see nothing.”

“You already know what you’ll do with her, Aro” said Marcus, his eyes never leaving your person. “Just do it, as we want to know our little angel a bit more.”

You looked at Bella for a moment. She was terrified, not only with her own case, but also with yours. You have already guessed that you are not going anywhere. They would never let you out of their hands. Aro knew perfectly well that you didn't even have anything to go back to. Of course, you had plenty of questions, but you were sure it wasn't about your case now. Just about Bella's situation and what the Cullens had done, or rather what they hadn't done. However, you guessed it, Bella was afraid you wouldn't get out of here alive, and at the same time, you were worried about the exact same thing but about her.

Aro was smiling continuously.

“I have an idea” he said, after a long while. He approached Alice this time. “Would you be so kind, dear, and show me if you saw Bella's transformation in your vision?”

You were smart enough to know that it wasn’t a request. Alice undid her glove and boldly gave Aro her hand. He was absent for a moment and then smiled again. You were impressed by the aura he spread around himself. When he smiled, you felt like smiling too. You still had the impression that it was only a dream, and simultaneously you were sure that it was really happening. Aro's touch was definitely real, you couldn’t forget his cool hands embracing your own.

“Ah, lovely. I know everything now,” he declared. You and Bella probably looked similarly confused, but you weren't the least bit concerned and she was as pale as a sheet.

Aro turned directly to Edward.

“As I have seen Isabella's transformation in Alice's vision, I can let you go with peace of mind, my dear young friends. I trust that a date will be set sooner, rather than later and that I will be able to see for myself, what your mate will be capable of, Edward. As for you, Isabella, you are promising immortal material and I hope your potential will not go to waste," he said, this time speaking directly to Bella.

She was still brave enough to look him in the eye.

“And what with [Y/N]? You never mentioned what will happen to her” she noticed, looking in your direction. You smiled gently to her.

“I’m staying here, Bella” you said calmly, trying to reassure her with your tone of voice that all shall be all right.

You saw pure admiration and joyousness on Aro’s face as you said that.

“Isn’t she remarkable, brothers?” he asked Marcus and Caius, who looked as if they had just received the most beautiful Christmas present.

Bella seemed to be thoroughly outrageous.

“You can’t be serious [Y/N]! You cannot stay here, please, come back with us. You cannot be here while you’re pregnant” she cried, holding your hand and looking at you with disbelief.

What she said made you very uncomfortable and extremely upset.

"Bella, I have nothing to go back to. My parents are dead. You knew that if Alice told me everything, it would have to be resolved somehow," you stated matter-of-factly, squeezing her hand in yours. "I can't go back there, Bells." Your throat tightened with despair as memories of recent events flooded inside your mind. You tried to hold back tears.

"I am a shadow of my former self. I'm afraid to leave the house alone to go shopping or to work. This paranoia is overwhelming me, Bella. I keep turning behind me to see if anyone is following me on the street. I cry at night, knowing that it doesn't change anything. And then there's this unfortunate baby," you sighed helplessly, trying not to burst with tears. "Even if I keep it, I don't want it to have a mother who's afraid to leave the house. I can't live like this, we both know that" you whispered, squeezing her hands in yours again.

“But you cannot possibly be mated with all three of them” Bella whispered with despair in her eyes. You only smiled, sensing that this sentence got on Kings’ nerves, especially Caius’s.

“I think it’s predestined, Bella. Just as you are destined to be with Edward, I do belong here, with my mates” you said cautiously, glancing at Aro and looking for approval in his eyes. He was only looking at you with delight, as he said nothing.

You saw that Bella had hard time processing such information, whilst Edward and Alice said nothing at all. You knew that Alice knew prior about this, and Edward could see the vision in her thoughts. You pulled Bella into a comfortable hug.

“Hey, sister, we don’t see each other the very last time. We’ll meet again. Probably in a different…condition but still.”

Bella looked devastated.

“You promise me that?” she asked warily, her tone full of hope. You smiled at her.

“Of course I do.” You kissed her cheek and caressed her long, brown hair. “We can call each other, you know. It’s not like I’m moving to the Moon,” you joked, to release the tension a bit. To your astonishment, everybody in the room laughed at that. It made you blush, just a little tiny bit.

After another farewell, in which this time you also included Alice and Edward (barely, because you were still mad at him) and an official farewell from Aro, who told them to give his friend kind regards from him, the guests left the chamber.

They left, and Aro was immediately by your side. He gently stroked your long blonde hair, but didn't touch a single piece of a skin. After the display of your memories, he probably knew very well that you did not wish any touch for the time being.

You still couldn't free yourself from under his spell and if you were to be honest, you didn't want to at all. Aro offered you his arm.

"I believe, we have much to discuss, my love."

You took his arm gratefully.

"I have a ton of questions," you admitted as you walked out of the chamber with Marcus and Caius slowly following you. You didn't need to look back, the strange bonds that drew you together informed you of their presence in a yet unknown way.

Aro, as usual, smiled magnificently.

"My dear, one thing at a time," he said in a gentle tone, as he patted your forearm with tenderness. When you entered the study with the round table, Aro immediately pushed back a chair for you.

"No one is to disturb us" you heard Caius' sharp tone as he closed the door behind you. You tried to feel comfortable and at ease. After all, this was your home from now on.

Part 2 | Part 3

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thedeviljudges · 3 years

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the devil judge + the seven deadly sins

so, i made a gifset about who i thought falls under the seven deadly sins. and also shameless plug - please go reblog the gifset i made for this. took me ages to do.

but i figured i might as well make a meta post to correlate. so this is that post. it’s not everything i could discuss. i could be here for hours more, truth be told. but i hope it’s enough to chew on.

while i feel like a lot of these are going to be a no-brainer, i still want to talk it through because idk. i can, and i want to, and i feel like it, lmao.

gluttony

the elite are privileged and have an opportunity to indulge so much more than the general public, but in many different ways. this is shown throughout the show in the fact that they can indulge on luxury food, have political power, they can make a phone call or snap their fingers and everyone must follow their orders.

and the thing about gluttony is that there is always more to be had. you take a little and then realize it’s not enough and so you ask for more. case in point: in episode 11 when sunah suggests that yohan could be the new president, the current one gives her an alternative: dictatorship. because it wasn’t just enough for him to be an actor and the presiding president.

you’ll also know they turn in on themselves - the two other guys in the elite group. one who owns the company and the other dude - i really cannot remember their names and what they do, but y’all know who i’m talking about. it was so easy for them, when threatened, to fabricate documents to give to yohan about each other in order to get ahead. gluttony is only shared in the relationships we have until one realizes they can take a little extra of the pie. it’s the selfishness of having all the leftovers. gluttony cannot necessarily exist without someone else’s sacrifice.

lust

i kind of had an ah-ah moment when i was talking this over with @technitango. i was trying to decide who was going to be lust because lust is portrayed very, very differently in this show than what most of us are used to. we, of course, know sunah who lusts after a life of indulgence and riches because she equates that with respect more than actually wanting it because it’s monetarily worth something.

but then i realized the public is lust because of their need for justice. i won’t say revenge necessarily because they’re doing as they’re told when given the judge show. but we can quickly see how that evaporates into something akin to bloodlust, for criminals and people who normally get away with shit, to have their fair taste at conviction for their misdeeds. we even see it with yohan’s fanboy club - the lust that comes from adoration and dedication.

and even more so, the public is easily swayed and so is the nature of lust. it follows in the vein of needs and wants, and as soon as new information is presented, however may false, so does the wants and desires of what people want sway. how easy was it for them to turn on yohan for a split second on two occasions - on two accounts of bribery.

envy

envy, above all, is about wanting what others have because you do not have it yourself. it may not be exactly what they have, but a form of it. some people don’t necessarily want money - they want what it can by, which is time, health and material goods.

sunah is the perfect example of this. she envies respect and recognition. she talks about bright and shiny objects, and that’s true to her kleptomania tendences, but more than anything, she wants to be seen as an equal because being poor with a vastly different upbringing means she’s looked down upon by those she thinks matters.

which also begs the question why she feels the need to seek validation from people in higher statuses to begin with when she can be the exception and not the rule - form her own understanding and environment to show others that the typical way of the elite is not actually all it’s cracked up to be - to which we see when she has no one to celebrate her victory with. it’s lonely being at the top. you get to your goal you thought you wanted but then what?

more importantly, sunah also envies family, relationships and simply put, human interaction. she wants to be cared for and treasured, and she looks for that in her position of power. because then all eyes are on you. because then that’s what people care about. what she fails to see is that those eyes are just as fruitless and just as wavering. to be a leader means people loving the idea of you but not you as a person.

“people of envious nature are sometimes stimulated to seek to emulate those who have completed some great achievements and in doing so achieve something great for themselves,” according to Understanding Philosophy.

wrath

while i realize that gaon not might entirely fit the wrath trope, he certainly has his moments, and i think he’s lived with a tampered flame since his parent’s death. he just learned to briefly put it out in the form of distractions and a false sense of righteousness and justice. it isn’t until he meets yohan that someone finally gives him the okay to feel the entirety of his emotions, that lets him breath and tells him it’s okay to feel anger and hurt. and while gaon ultimately chooses not to exact revenge, his wrath is what led him to becoming a judge and walking away from his teenage crimality.

gaon transposed his wrath into seeking justice, transformed it into livelihood, and reformed his narrative so that he was no longer angry and a teen with rash emotions. it was simply redirected and never really forgotten. yohan turned that redirection back around onto gaon’s ultimate heartache. fueled with that, it became easier to justify himself and his actions.

the most pivotal moment of turning his back on this mindset is, of course, the minister’s suicide, where he takes a good look at himself and doesn’t like what he sees. at this point, gaon’s upset isn’t necessarily at yohan but at the situation in which they got themselves into. because the thing is, gaon doesn’t absolve himself from what they did. he doesn’t turn a blind eye to that and try to dismiss it. he owns up to what happened and confesses how he feels to yohan and how he has to leave for his own good, and in some indirect way, for yohan’s, too.

with yohan, his ultimately weakness, despite never admitting to it, is family. his wrath comes in the form of anger when the ones he loves are threatened. yohan lives by a moral code of loyalty because that means you won’t be abandoned, and as a child who lived with that verdict since the day he was born, it’s an ever-pressing theme of his.

thing is, wrath comes in two particular forms for yohan. again, one is family and the second is the rose-colored glasses he’s given himself in his revenge story. he’s always had a goal to presumably make right the wrong for taking away isaac, but within that, 10 years is a long time to plot revenge, to the point where it becomes so much easier to lose yourself to that, to become enraged with it and forget the initial goal all along. we see this in his inability to form the bonding moments needed with his niece and his casual throwaway comments over people’s lives - the comment he made to gaon about moving on to the next plan, and the ultimately nail in the coffin of pushing gaon to leaving him.

his fury has also led him to convince himself his own humanity is nothing short of a lie. therefore, it’s easier to justify the means to an end because of his own self-worth and self-deprecation. it’s almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy: he even admitted to gaon’s mentor that he is an abyss. he’s referred to himself as nothing but an animal or a monster - all characteristics of despondency to survive and to justify what he’s doing. sort of like a catch 22, yohan claims he’s an animal/monster and behaves as such, but because he behaves as such, it means he’s an animal/monster.

wrath for gaon and yohan are very different yet the same. they are slow-burning, and that’s a dangerous type. it’s actually interesting when you think about the fire imagery surrounding the two of them because flames are quick to lap at anything in its wake, to destroy within a matter of minutes. and yet for the two of these men, their internal fire eats them from the inside out, painfully, until they’re almost unrecognizable to others and to themselves.

sloth

sloth was a little more difficult to pinpoint because of its characteristics. it was either the minister versus the mentor, both of which i think could work in this role. however, i chose the minister simply because she’s featured more and intertwines heavily with the plot line.

soth is a medieval translation of the Latin term acedia, meaning “without care.”

the ultimate characteristic of sloth is often identified as laziness, and while it’s easy to argue that the minister hasn’t been lazy in her ability to get where she is, she became as much when she started lying to get to her position. isn’t lying known as the easier way out? it absolves you of responsibility, of putting in the hard work, of apologizing and making things right. in the end, she had a goal and found the easiest solution to get there through her lack of responsibility for the roles she more than likely swore an oath to.

but that also translates into the other attributes of sloth: a failure to do the right thing, lack of emotions for people or of the self, and the fact that it “hinders man in his righteous undertakings and thus becomes a terrible source of man’s undoing” according to The Seven Deadly Sins: Society and Evil.

while i think there are a lot of components of sloth that may not necessarily fit the minister, the apathy and carelessness are enough to showcase her aggression, despondency and restlessness when what little efforts she does put in do not go her way. another interesting thing to note is that many of sloth’s traits correspond with symptoms of mental illness, such as depression and anxiety. it’s an interesting thing to note given the way the minister chooses to end her life.

greed

i don’t know that jinjoo would’ve had any provocation to the limelight if it wasn’t for sunah’s direction, but she’s eager to please and wants to be useful. it’s only natural for her to want more because it’s clear she’s a career woman, loves her job and has a heart for serving the people.

but like gluttony, greed is also that little thing that plants itself and can take on a life of its own. you start looking for justifications as to why you can’t have more than what you do, and in jinjoo’s situation, she’s already overlooked through no fault of her own. and it’s not that gaon and yohan are doing it purposefully, which is what makes their neglect heartbreaking, because truthfully, they’re after the same thing jinoo is. sure, it looks different and the foundation of it is different, same with their motives. but they’re all three judges on a residing bench working to exact justice - even if all three of them have their own personal agenda.

i don’t think jinoo fully aligns with greed, but she does want more for herself, and i think that’s only natural. you can tell she has a heart, and she’s keen not to be overlooked. this isn’t her pain point so much as it is she knows her worth and is more than ready to do what it takes to get where she wants. this, in and of itself, isn’t necessarily a bad trait, but we can see how it leads to being deceived, especially for someone who’s been left in the dark for so long.

she is enticed by the glitz and the glamour of being a head judge, but you can tell she feels some remorse and guilt for those thoughts at times. i think her sense of greed is a battle within herself more than it is extremely outwardly.

pride

soohyun’s pride comes in the form of her imbalance with right and wrong. her sense of righteousness and justice is so far leaning, even more than gaon’s. it can be chalked up to her being a cop, but we’ve seen instances of this outside of her role within that agency. her pride doesn’t let her see beyond saving gaon and getting to the bottom of every mystery that comes her way.

it also comes in the form of impulsiveness and her savior complex, putting elijah in danger, for example, instead of waiting for backup. it’s not necessarily from a belief that she can fix things all on her own, but she sees injustice and immediately jumps in. another case in point is her and gaon watching yohan wreck the minister’s son’s car. she’s ready to go stop him, but gaon pulls her back, most likely because at that point, they hadn’t been observing the situation for very long to get a read on it. also the fact that at that point, neither of them truly knew yohan and his capabilities.

but as to where her characteristics come from, we simply don’t know beyond that of gaon. it’s unfortunate because we don’t have much of her backstory, so there is no real understanding why she so firmly believes in entities of regulation beyond keeping her friend out of jail. she prides herself on her work and what she’s able to accomplish, which is why it’s devastating to her to have to protect gaon by cleaning up his bloody handprint.

aristotle is of the belief that, “pride, then, seems to be a sort of crown of the virtues; for it makes them greater, and it is not found without them. Therefore it is hard to be truly proud; for it is impossible without nobility and goodness of character,” from Nicomachean Ethics.

but pride for soohyun isn’t about honors or rewards. it’s for herself and her capabilities, her ability to protect gaon, and the virtues she’s set as the precedent for herself. because sometimes it’s not even about establishing morals and ethics upon yourself. it’s about feelings/intuition, logic and observation. and no, i don’t mean the feelings she has for gaon. there are things that humans do, both actions and words, that we inherently know are bad without someone telling us as much and without the rules of the world seared into our brains. there are some things we know, for a fact, are wrong to us as individuals.

for soohyun, she knows that gaon’s actions, and even her own, have consequences. from what we’ve seen, i think it can be argued that it’s really about not doing those actions to prevent an outcome - not necessarily from a place of being just and right. that doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand good morals/ethics, but again, we have no background of what her internal guidance actually is.

to put this in layman’s terms, we’ll use gaon wanting to stab the conman in his youth. soohyun knows it’s wrong because it will incriminate gaon and therefore she stops it. gaon’s gone to her because he sees her as a moral compass. but is her own internal navigation rooted in justice the way gaon had to find it in the judicial system, or is hers rooted in her pride of keeping gaon safe? she stops him from doing things that will get him in trouble, but is she stopping him because the action itself is wrong or because the outcome will result in undesirable consequences for the two of them?

and of course, there is a flipped argument to be had there - i’m not arguing that gaon stabbing the conman would be right or justified. but what i am saying is that for her, her worldview is the only right one, and when anyone steps out of that, even gaon, it becomes a bit of an issue: the pride she has for that is palpable.

every character indulges

truthfully, every character has at least one form of these sins rooted in their characterization. some are larger than others, but the breadth of it can be explored even further for each. and that’s what makes them more realistic and not just characters written on a page or following a linear progression of their writing deity.

the seven deadly sins are also notoriously rooted in religion. they’re also a defining feature of aristotle’s works that represent the golden mean, in which each vice is parallel to a virtue.

the devil judge is so layered, but i think at the heart of it, it’s about humanity at its core. sprinked in are the philosophies and contradictions and what it means to look in the mirror, what happens when we’re blind to seeing our true selves and most importantly, how much changes when we’re swayed by our own misgivings. it really asks us to understand nature versus nurture, that people must find a belief in something to keep them going, and how futile our hopes and desires can actually be if we’re not carefully regulating ourselves, nevermind the entities established by society to regulate us, too.

the entirety of the show genuinely begs the question as to who is truly right, who is truly wrong, and if it’s even possible to find the correct answer.

#x #the devil judge #the devil judge meta #*#*the devil judge #so i have some Thoughts #probably not very good ones but ya know

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journalxxx · 3 years

Text

By Hook or by Crook (6)

Hey kid. I’d like to have a chat with you, if you’re up to it. Would you be free this afternoon?

Izuku idly reread the text and the brief exchange that followed as he whiled away the few minutes left before the agreed time for the meeting.

Just a little over twenty-four hours before, Izuku had had a minor stroke at the mere thought of All Might texting him about a trip to the police station. Just a little over twenty-four hours before, he would have soared straight to cloud nine at the thought of All Might texting him ‘to have a chat’. It was a pity that the only emotion he could muster at the moment was a vague sense of stunned apathy.

“I’ll get that.” He informed no one in particular when the bell rang. The man installing what probably were legalized viruses on his laptop gave him an odd look, and his mother replied something indistinguishable from the bathroom. Izuku shuffled out of his room and unlocked the front door.

“Young Midoriya. Good afternoon.” All Might had reverted to his laid-back cargo pants and t-shirt attire. He seemed more tired and subdued as well, more like on the day Izuku had met him.

“Good afternoon.” Izuku gestured at him to come inside, which he did with a quiet thanks. He did not remove his shoes though, and he stopped only few steps in upon spotting the second man fiddling with the landline in the living room.

“Ah. Busy day, is it?” All Might acknowledged the technician with a knowing nod. He then turned towards Izuku and tilted his head towards the front door. “Say, how about we take a walk? I bet your house feels crowded enough without me imposing as well.”

His mother’s head peeked into the hallway. All Might greeted her with a little wave and a weirdly embarrassed grin.

“I’m going for a walk.” Izuku announced as he slipped his shoes on.

“Uhm, are you sure?” Her eyes shifted between All Might and him with ill-concealed unease.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Izuku cut short. He wasn’t in the mood for another discussion. “See you later.”

He strode out of the building without hesitation. He made his way down the stairs, through the parking lot, all the way to the sidewalk before stopping. All Might caught up with him a minute later, after lingering on the threshold to exchange a few words with his mother that Izuku decided he did not care about. He also decided to ignore the pointed stare the hero aimed at him when he finally reached him.

“Anywhere you’d like to go in particular?” All Might asked after a beat, gazing up and down the small road.

“Not really. You?”

“Any place is fine by me. I need to get reacquainted with this city, its layout is quite different from how I remember it.”

Right, All Might had just moved in. And Musutafu had likely changed a lot since his U.A. days… That would have been a tremendously interesting topic for a chat, Izuku could feel the questions popping up in his head in droves, despite everything. Unfortunately, he was under no illusion that what All Might wanted from him could be that kind of casual conversation.

They picked a random direction and started walking. For almost five minutes, they strolled without breathing a word. It wasn’t nearly as awkward as it would have been under any normal circumstances.

“Had another rough night?” All Might said eventually.

“Mh.” Easy guess. The bags under Izuku’s eyes would soon rival the fixed shadows circling the hero’s if he didn’t manage to rein in his sleeping schedule soon. The nightmares had ceased, thankfully, but his head had been so full of disjointed and clashing thoughts and memories that he hadn’t managed to catch some shut eye until so late that it had become early.

Nothing made sense. Everything made too much sense. In hindsight, it felt strange that Izuku had never contemplated the possibility himself. It also felt absurd that it could be true though, instead of some sort of huge misunderstanding. That his father could be-

“Oh, before I forget. The villain is faring much better.”

“Uh? What?” Izuku blinked.

“The sludge villain whose quirk you returned.” All Might graced him with a gentle smile. “I heard he was already mostly coherent by last night, and as of few hours ago he was firmly denying ever bearing any ‘serious’ ill intent towards you and your friend, demanding to see his lawyer and complaining about the quality of the lunch he was served.”

Guilt needled Izuku’s stomach upon realizing that the villain’s plight had completely escaped his mind since his return home from the police station. How poorly committed his sympathy was. “Oh. That’s… good, I guess?”

“We guess.” All Might chuckled. “I don’t think I’ve dealt with another incident that badly in years, but I’m glad that no one suffered any permanent damage, at least. And thank you again for bringing the matter to a close in my stead.”

“It’s hardly your fault if things went the way they did. But… yeah, I’m glad he’s okay and that it’s over.” Now if only that hadn’t sparked a much worse and much more scarring mishap, at least for Izuku… “Are you all right, by the way?”

“Me?”

“Yeah. Have you managed to see a doctor yet? About, uh…” Izuku pointed at his own mouth, unsure how to describe the attack the man had suffered the day before, the likes of which Izuku had only seen in movies and cartoons, usually from people sporting deadly and gory upper body wounds.

All Might laughed with inexplicable, genuine mirth. “Oh, don’t worry! I wasn’t playing it cool when I said I was fine. It’s just a thing that happens. Usually it isn’t quite as, uh, dramatic, but it really is nothing concerning.”

“But… you hadn’t even used your quirk…” Izuku could not fathom how spraying blood like a fountain on a presumably regular basis couldn’t warrant seeking any kind of medical attention, but the hero waved off his objection with finality.

“Trust me, it’s fine. More importantly...“ All Might wasn’t looking at him. He seemed deeply focused in memorizing as much as he could of his surroundings, peering here and there at street nameplates, buildings, alleys… manholes too, amusingly. But the low and soft quality of his tone made it clear that he wasn’t asking just out of politeness. “What about you, kid? How are you?”

Izuku dropped his gaze to his feet and shrugged. It was an accurate answer, actually. He’d spent so many hours torturing himself with doubts and grief and confusion that at some point his brain had sort of… ran out of energy to spare for emotions. He supposed it wasn’t the worst response he could have had. Stolid empty-headedness was largely preferable to the scorching waves of betrayal, impending doom and overbearing dismay he’d sampled the day before.

“I imagine how difficult all this must be for you.“ All Might went on, just as tactfully. “Have you talked with your mother?”

Oh, scratch that. He was still capable of feeling something. His mother was enough of a sore topic to make him clench his fists. “...Yeah. I have.”

“...I don’t think-”

“She knew.” Yeah, he was still angry. It bubbled in his chest like boiling tar, thick and sticky and suffocating.

“She told you that?”

“I heard you three talking about it last night. I was listening from outside the living room.”

“What?!” All Might seemed genuinely shocked. It hadn’t been Izuku’s proudest moment, admittedly, but let’s be honest, what else was he supposed to do? Pretend that they weren’t discussing life-changing revelations just few meters away from his bed? He was only human. All Might slapped a large hand on his face and dragged it down alongside his pointy features with a groan. “Oh, come on…”

“She knew, and she never told me.” His nails were digging painfully in his palms and- oh great, now he was getting teary again. He’d held it together for the whole day and now he was going to lose it five minutes after All Might had showed up. For the third or fourth time in as many days. Sure, why not? It wasn’t like he’d managed to retain any sort of dignity since the very moment he’d met his idol. Why bother now? “S-She’s known since- since before marrying him- however that happened… I j-just...”

All Might regarded him silently for a moment. “...Things like these look very different from an outside perspective. Especially to someone as young as you are. It’s very easy to judge, and even easier to misjudge.”

“But she knew he was a criminal - one who would not even consider changing his ways for his family - and she… wanted him around anyway? Why would she do that?! It’s- I wouldn’t want an unrepentant villain still involved in illegal business around my son! He’d be... a bad influence, at the very least!”

“Before yesterday, have you ever thought that he could be having a bad influence on you?”

“Uh? No, I… I didn’t know that he was… I never… questioned...”

All Might sighed deeply. “Your father is a notoriously charismatic man. He’s always been particularly adept at coaxing people to his side without open coercion, but with simple, well-aimed words. You never suspected that he may have been acting in his own best interest while offering or withholding certain information from you, although it may seem obvious in hindsight. I bet he managed to instil the same trust in your mother, despite what she knew about him.”

“I…” Izuku rubbed away the tears flowing freely down his cheeks. He couldn’t understand. He just couldn’t. And it tore at him. “W-Was it because of the money? She never... I-I thought we were good, she n-never said anything… I-If I’d known, I would have… I wouldn’t have asked for… s-so many things, I-”

“I highly doubt that a few toys and games could have had that big of an impact on the family budget. There’s no reason for you to beat yourself up over anything.” All Might slipped his hands in his pockets, sympathy plain in his sunken eyes. “Your mother found herself in a very tricky situation, through no real fault of her own. She navigated it as best as she could, and I’m sure your well-being was her top priority. Seeing the healthy and upright young man you’ve grown into, I’d say she handled it admirably.”

“...I know.” Izuku knew it, really, he understood that. But… he’d always seen his mother as just about the most transparent, honest, sensible and sensitive person on Earth. And it turned out she didn't… exactly… meet that standard, however idealistic. It had been a blow, on top of everything else, one that had left him without a real, fully trustworthy figure when he most needed it. “I know that, but… she should have told me. At some point. There’s no excuse for not doing that.”

“Perhaps. It’s hard to predict the negative impact that such a confession may have on a younger child, but perhaps she should have.” The hero conceded. “I’d refrain from handing down verdicts though. You kept some secrets of your own from her. You hid your quirk-”

“But that’s not the same thing! Not even close! A quirk isn’t as big an omission as your father being a criminal!” Izuku snapped, then immediately hunched his back in regret, his tone losing some volume but not its bitterness. “And, you know, maybe, maybe I wouldn’t have listened to him so readily if someone had warned me that he isn’t exactly an upstanding citizen!”

“Look, it isn’t my place to comment on how things stand or should stand between you and your mother, or how you should behave, but… if there’s one thing you need to keep in mind - and please do keep it in mind, at all times - is that the one person who bears absolute and doubtless blame is your father. That’s the source of all the lies that have been fed to you. Lies and deception are… what he does, really. What he’s always done. You and your mother are both victims in all this.”

Izuku sniffed and wiped some tears and snot on his sleeve. It was gross, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. There was a logic to All Might’s words, but no logic justified the staggering duplicity that had just turned his life upside down. The unfairness of it all was simply too much to accept.

The boy looked up when All Might poked him on the shoulder to catch his attention.

“Speaking of which…” All Might swerved to the left, entering a smaller and more secluded lane leading away from the more trafficked routes. He had resumed his perusal of the area, and his expression had regained a firm, almost steely edge. Izuku followed him. “What I wanted to talk to you about concerns what transpired about your father, and how it will affect your life going forwards.”

No surprise there. The two plain-clothes agents that had shown up that morning, no doubt mourning the loss of their well-deserved Sunday rest, had been clear enough of a warning of some upheaval to the Midoriyas’ routine. All Might’s vague text had only cemented Izuku’s expectations of further disruptions.

“I hate being the bearer of bad news, but it is imperative for you to understand the gravity of your father’s position… especially to prevent him from enacting any sort of manipulation or control on you in the future.” The hero began. “The man you know as ‘Hisashi Midoriya’ goes under many aliases, so much so that we are still unaware of his real name. He has committed an astounding variety of serious crimes, over the course of decades. Even if your mother claims to be aware of his background, I assure you she doesn’t know the half of it.”

Izuku physically curled up under the weight of those words. It was… even worse than they thought? His father sounded more and more like some obscenely powerful yakuza boss or something, which was just… just...

“The police will be gathering and analyzing as much evidence as possible to find clues leading to his current location and activities. All possible forms of communications between you and him will be monitored. Your phones will be bugged, and any electronic devices you own will be fitted with tracking software. Your mail will be examined before delivery.” All Might paused, assessing Izuku’s lack of a reaction to his speech. “Did they tell you about this already?”

“S-Some of it, yeah.” Izuku’s gaze dropped to the asphalt again. The dried tears made the skin on his cheeks and around his eyes itch. “Will there be cameras too? Inside the house?”

“I haven’t heard about cameras. I don’t think so. Seeing as your father never set foot in your house, there doesn’t seem to be any reason to surveil it that closely from the inside. The outside will be watched, so we’d notice anyway if he tried to approach it.”

“...Okay.”

“...I know it’s an oppressive situation. No one likes having their privacy invaded. But know that the professionals in charge of monitoring you are utterly uninterested in you specifically, or in whatever you do with your free time, as long as it isn’t anything outrageously illegal.” All Might’s voice softened again, although not enough for Izuku to dare raise his eyes from the ground. “I hear they are especially unconcerned about peculiar web searches and piracy perpetrated by bored adolescents, and some such things. Anything that isn’t strictly related to the case at hand won’t ever make it into any reports.”

“Mh.” A couple of small mercies were better than none, Izuku guessed. He really couldn’t muster neither enthusiasm nor gratitude for them at the moment though.

“Ah, about this… Those monthly phone calls your mother mentioned are particularly relevant for the police. They are likely their best bet in pinpointing your father’s position.” All Might paused. “For that reason, we would appreciate your cooperation on that front.”

Izuku’s brain suddenly jolted into activity, a myriad of spy movies and comics coming to his mind and offering plenty of distressing scenarios he could be potentially thrusted into. “You mean like… you want me to help you find him? Get him to drop hints about where he is, or- or asking him to go somewhere where you can set up a trap, or-” Izuku looked back up at the man, without bothering to conceal the pure terror that such prospects filled him with.

“What? No, of course not!” All Might exclaimed, surprised. “I mean, it isn’t out of discussion that we may try to actively lure him out at some point, but that would take extensive preparations and precautions on our part. We’d need to gather more intel and agents, recruit other heroes first… We definitely aren’t considering taking any such steps yet.”

“O-Oh… okay…” He let out the tiniest sigh of relief. No wild capers… for now...

“Besides, even if we were, we wouldn’t use a child as bait! Your mother would be much more suited to assist us. Any request from her would have more sway on your father, and she would handle the pressure much better.”

“So… what do you want me to do then?”

All Might shrugged. “Just keep up appearances. Continue having your monthly calls with him as if nothing happened, so as not to alert him that something might be wrong.”

That wasn’t that big of a demand, objectively speaking, but... it didn’t seem feasible either. Izuku’s grasp on his own emotions was tenuous at best at the moment, and his father had always been exceptionally perceptive to his state. He really didn’t think he could endure up to two hours of small talk about heroes, quirks, school and assorted pleasantries without having some sort of breakdown halfway through. Izuku gulped, bracing himself for the inevitable scolding of his cowardice.

“...I-I’m sorry, I’m not sure if I can do that.”

Surprisingly, All Might wasn’t put off in the slightest. “In that case, you could ask your mother to pretend you got hurt in some way that prevents you from speaking. Bad tooth, removed tonsils, broken jaw, you name it. That would earn you at least another month of silence and… hopefully the investigation will make some progress in that time, or you’ll grow used enough to the situation to face him with a cool head.”

That was a reasonable approach to the issue. It was a relief to know that someone else was putting some thinking into all this in Izuku’s place, now that his already flimsy decisional autonomy had stumbled into the metaphorical equivalent of a bear trap. “...I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you.” All Might nodded, strangely unperturbed by Izuku's less than proactive attitude. “Other than what I’ve mentioned, you will also be followed wherever you go whenever you aren’t at home or at school-”

“W-What?” Izuku instinctively glanced around, envisioning slow-moving cars or shady individuals with sunglasses and holed newspapers observing him from bushes.

The corners of All Might’s mouth twitched upwards. “You will not be aware of it, nor will anyone else, of course. It will have no actual impact on your daily life, like all the other measures we’ve already covered.”

“But why?” Izuku griped, his heart sinking so deep that it would soon pierce through the Earth’s mantle. “My father isn’t going to suddenly drop by to say hello, you just said so yourself!”

“It’s for your own protection too.” All traces of humor vanished instantly from the hero’s demeanor. “Your father is no stranger to violence. In the past, he has resorted to brutal and immoral means to dispose of his enemies, and... I’m sorry to say that he would not hesitate to employ such methods against his own family, if he deemed it a danger to his own safety.”

Izuku couldn’t hold back a little hysterical chuckle that sounded pitiful to his own ears. “That… sounds a bit exaggerated, doesn’t it? I-I get that he’s a bad guy, but… I really don’t think he’d do something like that to us. H-He’s never even raised his voice with me, never...”

“Midoriya. I beg you to believe me when I say that you can’t trust anything of what you think you know about your father.” All Might stopped to glare intently at a narrow, dingy alley littered with trash bags. “He is dangerous. Extraordinarily so. Tsukauchi is pushing for having further safety measures enforced for your family, and until those have been granted, please be very aware of your surroundings at all times. Refrain from taking unfamiliar routes, and stick to crowded areas whenever you can. I don’t want to scare you, but even having eyes on you at all times is no guarantee of a timely intervention, under unfavorable circumstances.”

“Is it… really that bad?” Izuku breathed, gutted by the unexpected harshness of the picture painted by All Might’s words. It was… inconceivable, still. His father, deliberately hurting him? His father, whose cutting sarcasm was just about the only vaguely hurtful trait Izuku had ever witnessed? His father, a hardened, soulless criminal averse to puns and All Might trivia, and yet always so willing to let Izuku torture him with both? His father, ambushing him from dark corners? “Is he really that bad?”

“Yes.”

“What did he…” Izuku started asking, only to trail off. It was a pointless question, with a clear answer. It had been buzzing in his head for the whole night, blindingly obvious by now. “...He steals quirks, doesn't he? That’s what he does. He... maims people for…”

“I’m afraid he isn’t nearly as conscientious as you in regards to-” All Might cut himself off with a visible flinch. “Wait, he told you about his quirk? You know it’s the same as yours?”

“Y-Yes.”

“You didn’t mention that to us.” Bright pinpricks of blue were suddenly trained on Izuku with piercing intensity. It kept catching him off guard, how both of the Symbol of Peace’s towering forms could switch from amicable to intimidating at the drop of a dime.

“I-I thought… He said it was a secret- one of his confidential matters. I’ve always thought he was some sort of… prison guard or undercover agent…” God, how unbelievably stupid it all sounded now. Izuku had never felt more childish.

“...That goes to show…” All Might mumbled, barely audibly. It unsettled Izuku. It went to show what? His father’s cunning? Izuku’s naivety? Or… surely not that he could be hiding something on purpose...

“I-I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I had no idea how- how serious- I’d never-”

“Mh?” The hero blinked at him, as if emerging from a private musing. “Ah, I mean… There could be some merit to the other thing I wanted to ask of you.”

Izuku just waited, barely able to withstand the acuity of the hero’s gaze without shrinking. After a few tense moments, All Might let out a sigh and resumed walking, his eyes wandering back to the street ahead.

“To be frank… Personally, I don’t think we’re going to achieve much from all these investigations.” He grimaced, as if regretting those words as soon as they left his mouth. “Not for lack of trying, mind you. Tsukauchi is an immensely capable and dedicated officer, he’ll pursue each lead as thoroughly as humanly possible, but… Your father knows how to cover his tracks. Phone calls, payments, mail, blatant cues like those have never brought us close to him in the past, not once. To his associates, yes, to his… ‘aftermaths’, yes. But never to him personally. His circumstances were always shrouded in impenetrable security. I doubt this case will be any different.”

Buildings gave way to the open horizon. They had reached the end of the street, which merged into a largest road running along the coast. They crossed it, and kept going on the opposite sidewalk, looking down on a thin stretch of sand separating them from the sea.

“That said… he did leave one huge trail for us to find this time. A whole family, out in the open.” All Might’s eyes returned to the boy pensively. “A breakthrough like this, if you’ll pass me the term, is unprecedented. The most obvious leads could turn out to be dead ends, but maybe there is something to be found in the smaller things.”

“The smaller things?”

The man gestured vaguely. “He’s been talking to you, has he not? To you and your mother both, for over a decade. Not that often, but… hell, he even told you about his quirk, and one would expect him to be very tight-lipped about that. There might be more to dig up. Details he may have deemed unimportant, or accidentally let slip. Hints. Small things.”

Izuku was finally catching the drift. “I’m really sorry, but… I know you probably can’t take my word for it, but I really don’t know anything about what he does, or ever did. He never let anything slip about his… his ‘job’...”

“Of course not, that’s not what I’m referring to. The thing is…” The hero clucked his tongue in frustration. “We know so little about the man himself as well. His identity, his background, his history… We know next to nothing about him, and what little we do know, we were only able to discover through very unconventional means. If there’s a chance to glean one more shred of information hidden among the fabrications, I think it’s worth pursuing it.”

“So the police are going to question us about… fourteen years’ worth of chit-chats?” That seemed like a disproportionate endeavor for something as volatile as the possibility of parsing an ounce of truth. Exactly how desperate were they to catch this increasingly perplexing father of his?

“That’s the gist of it, yes. And ideally, we would like to interview you separately, to avoid that either of you could, ehr… inadvertently censor yourselves about information not known by the other-”

“Like my quirk. Or dad’s ‘activities’.“ Izuku muttered.

“...Yes. Things like those.” All Might paused, then cleared his throat. “Well… given the delicate nature of the case, we are trying to keep the workforce to a minimum, and involve as few people as possible. This ought to speed up coordination and briefing, as well reduce the risk of information leaks. Tsukauchi will be personally questioning your mother… as well as direct the entire operation. He’s quite the multitasker. And, well… since technically I’m already involved and up to speed and I won’t be contributing to the proper detective work in any capacity… we thought I might take care of hearing your side of the story.”

A little Oh was the whole extent of Izuku’s reaction as the hero’s words washed over him. All Might seemed a little discouraged by that.

“We figured it might put you a little more at ease… Talking with someone you’re already familiar with, instead of a brand new face. And, ehr… well, you mentioned being a fan, so…” He elaborated, his hands drawing half-formed shapes in the air to underline his words. He looked… almost nervous? “It’s just a possibility, of course. If you’d rather be entrusted to a proper member of the force, it’s well within your rights to request that.”

Izuku did not miss the underlying meaning of that winding speech. It was within his rights to request who he wanted to be interviewed by, not if.

“Do I even have a choice?” All Might’s guilty grimace was all the reply Izuku needed. “...No, sorry, I… That’s a stupid question. I’ve no reason to refuse either.” Surely not the faint sense of betrayal knocking on his conscience at that very moment. Could he even feel bad about betraying someone who’d never been honest with him in the first place?

“...I know it’s far from an enticing perspective.” All Might rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. “It’s going to eat up a lot of your time, and people are never exactly eager to ‘snitch’ on relatives, even when they’re criminals. But I really think it could be of great help to us.”

So that was the role Izuku was going to have in this whole mess, that of a very oddly-shaped piece in a very complicated puzzle. It could be worse, he supposed. Being stuck in a room talking with the number one hero for hours could hardly be considered a real punishment. Were the topic of the conversation literally anything else, it’d be a dream coming true, even. He should push that angle on himself, Izuku pondered. Maybe he could talk himself into enjoying the whole thing, in some way.

“Since I’m no policeman, I’m amenable to reward you for the time and effort you’ll generously dedicate to the task with suitable bribing. I was thinking snacks, if that doesn’t come off as too cheap.” All Might continued with a tentative grin, although his attempt at levity didn’t stick the landing. “No? How about, ehr… All Might merch?” For some reason, his face scrunched up as if the suggestion physically pained him.

Izuku sighed. There was no point in fighting the inevitable, was there? “It’s fine. I’ll do it.”

“...Thank you, that is very good to hear.” All Might smiled with evident relief. He patted Izuku’s shoulder encouragingly. “I’ll say, you’re taking all this a lot better than I was expecting. For all the crying, you have quite the resilient attitude. Heroic, even!”

Izuku let out a half-choked sob. Oh. Oh, wow, that realization hurt. He hadn’t thought about that since… had it really only been a couple of days since making it into U.A. had been his biggest concern in life? And now…

“Ehr… Sorry, did I say something wrong?” All Might asked when faced with the new bout of tears streaming down the boy’s cheeks. Izuku shook his head.

“S-Sorry, it’s just… I-I guess that’s the closest I’ll ever get to becoming a hero now, uh?”

“What?”

“There’s no way they’ll let me anywhere near a hero course now, is there? My father told me it was basically impossible before, and now...”

“Your father told you that you couldn’t be a hero? Your father who is a villain?” All Might gave him a pointed look. “You may want to start reevaluating some of the nuggets of wisdom he’s been imparting on you in light of the new revelations, kid.”

“But he’s right, isn’t he?” Izuku griped. “It’s even worse now that he turned out to be a villain! A bad one too! Abusing the same overpowered quirk I have, it’s just… too great a bias, isn’t it?”

All Might seemed caught off guard, then he frowned and looked away without replying. There it was, the naked truth. Not even an attempt at a rebuttal. Out of discussion. Izuku’s dreams scattered to the wind, without hope of salvation.

“Y-You know, I actually thought… I could work my way around it.” Izuku continued among the sniffles, dropping his gaze to the ground. “I thought I could just pretend to be quirkless. F-For a while. Pass the test like that, make some friends, get… get trusted as a hero because of my work. A-and then, then one day, just… after everyone trusted me, I thought I could come out clean. And start using my quirk for good. I thought it could work. Get others to know me before my quirk. B-But it’s never going to happen now. The police know, the school will know.”

“...I must say that building your budding hero career on a lie isn’t the most solid plan I’ve ever heard.” There was no accusation in All Might’s tone, but his words still cut deep.

“I know…” Izuku bit his lip. He’d known, but what alternatives did he have?

“But I guess we can’t all carelessly parade our true selves before public scrutiny, can we?” The man sighed, scratching his own head. “You are right about one thing though. Actions do speak louder than words. You might not be able to talk your way out of your… delicate circumstances, but factual demonstrations of good intentions can go a long way.”

“That’s… That’s all I’m asking for!” Izuku’s head snapped up, desperately latching onto that single lifeline. “I would do whatever it takes to be allowed to try!”

“Well, I’d say you’re already on the right path then. Cooperating with the police is definitely a good step to establish good faith.” All Might flashed him a sheepish smile. ”...I’m not saying that just to grind my own axe, I swear.”

“Do you think it would be enough for U.A. to let me attempt the test?”

“You want to apply to U.A?” The hero seemed strangely surprised.

“Yeah. Is it… not a good idea?”

All Might took a few moments to reply. “...It might work in your favor, actually. U.A. is famous for the degree of self-determination afforded to its management by the government. If you’re worried about external interference, U.A. is your best bet to avoid it.”

A tiny, shy flicker of hope ignited in Izuku’s chest.

“...I’ve known the principal of U.A High School for a long time. He’s a bit of an eccentric, but one with an impeccable work ethic.” All Might resumed after a moment. “He’s not the kind of person to let unfair judgement undermine his institute. Especially if it prevented an aspiring hero he deems worthy from being appointed his student.”

“You mean that…?”

“I mean that if you do plan to apply to U.A. you could have a chance of making it in, regardless of your unfavorable background. If you pass the admission test, that is.” All Might suddenly stopped walking. “...What is this?”

Izuku blinked, ripped out of his thoughts, and took in the portion of the seafront they had reached. Wow, he really hadn’t been paying any attention to where they were going, had he? “...Oh. It’s, ehr… an illegal dumping site, I guess.”

“Really?” All Might commented, eyeing the sad, disregarded No Dumping sign welcoming its disobedient visitors.

“Yeah. The currents always bring flotsam to this area, so it was never clean in the first place. And then people started taking advantage of it…”

“And no one ever comes here to pick up any of this?” Strangely, the sight and the slight stench of mounds of rusting metal and assorted junk didn’t bother All Might, who climbed down the few steps separating the sidewalk from the beach.

“No, the city administration never took an interest. Everyone else just avoids this spot altogether. It’s been getting worse over the years.” Izuku had no idea why All Might was studying the piles of dismissed appliances as if they might hold some hidden treasures within, but he felt rather dumb for accidentally introducing this to the hero, of all places in Musutafu, as his first sightseeing landmark. “Sorry, I should have brought us somewhere else.”

“It’s fine.” Undaunted, All Might wandered deeply into the maze of refuse, with Izuku ruefully tagging along. “A safe, handy spot where a passing criminal in a hurry could stash some loot, don’t you think? Good to know.”

“Oh. I didn’t think about that.” Right. That was what it meant for a hero to know his turf, right? It went beyond street names and layouts. It meant to be aware of how each location could lend itself to certain criminal activities, what places could make for good improvised hideouts, where civilians were more or less likely to be gathered...

“How were you planning on passing the admission test?” All Might asked when they reached the water’s edge, eyes fixed on the waves crashing on the sand.

“Uhm. Well, I’ve already started reviewing the subjects listed in the syllabus…”

“I was referring to the practical session, actually.”

“Oh, uhm… Well, I tried looking for information about it online, but there doesn’t seem to be any. Apparently it’s U.A.’s policy to bind all participants to non-disclosure. They say that observing how potential candidates react to unexpected situations is part of the evaluation process, so…”

All Might looked at Izuku, his expression blank. “Yes. So?”

“Ehr.” Suddenly Izuku felt extremely on the spot. “W-Well, without knowing what I’m getting into, I don’t really have any specific strategies in mind.”

All Might cocked his head with a slight frown. “What about generic strategies? What skills were you going to capitalize on?”

“I… Well… I thought I’d just… try my best. Improvise and use my head.”

All Might blinked. “...That is what everyone else is going to do too. Except everyone else will also have a quirk to rely on, while you weren’t going to use yours. That’s a massive disadvantage right there.”

“Yes, I know.” Izuku clasped his hand behind his back in shame. That was an excellent point, one that somehow no one had ever raised with him. Everyone, including his father, instantly shot down his idea as soon it left his mouth. No one had ever asked him to elaborate on the practical details. Which he had sort of… failed to sort out so far.

“And you have no notion as to how to bridge that gap.”

“Not… not yet.”

All Might crossed his arms, sporting possibly the harshest expression Izuku had seen on him yet. It made his stomach lurch unpleasantly. “...Are you serious about this hero thing? Are you sure it isn’t just a passing fancy?”

“It isn’t! It absolutely isn’t!” Izuku answered immediately. “I just… I don’t even know if I’m allowed to bring any tools, or-”

“Tools?” All Might scoffed as he walked back to him and gave him a critical once-over. “Looks to me you already have all the tools you need, if you deigned to consider them.”

“Uh?”

“You have arms, don’t you? Hands. Legs. Arguably a head.” All Might poked at each listed limb with a bony finger as he started circling him like a starved shark. “All in working order, yes?”

“Y-Yes- I mean, I’m not ill or anything, but-”

“Then why aren’t you trying to capitalize on those? A quirk is an important part of a person, but it’s not the only one! You have a body, use it!”

“Ah, yes, I…” Izuku gulped. “It would make sense to, uh, try to get a little stronger, I guess…”

“You guess? ” All Might was reaching yet unexplored levels of visible exasperation, which was saying something considering the whole secret-villainous-father debacle. Izuku didn’t know if getting the number one hero so worked up about his little pipe dream should be considered flattering or shameful. “Being a hero isn’t a desk job! Running fast, lifting heavy weights, enduring fatigue are not optional skills! No matter what quirk they have, no hero worth their salt can neglect to keep in excellent shape!”

“R-Right. Of course. It’s just that, uh…” Izuku fidgeted. “I’m not really good at that sort of… physical stuff. I’ve always been a bit on the scrawny side, and I get tired easily, and I’m no good at brawling-”

“Despite training?”

“...I’ve never followed a proper training regimen, but…”

All Might rubbed his hands on his face. “Kid, unless they have a physical-enhancing quirk, people aren’t just born strong. They get strong by training - do I really have this state this out loud?”

Izuku was fairly sure his face was about to spontaneously combust. Of all the things he’d expected to happen in his near future, being scolded by All Might in person for his lack of commitment to physical activity was not one of them. “Y-You are right. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… to disrespect you or your profession…”

“You didn’t, I was just… You seemed passionate about this two days ago...” All Might trailed off. “My point is that all the equity in the world won’t net you a place in U.A. if you don’t pass that test. And if you really are serious about raising your chances of becoming a hero, you have to give this some serious thought, and soon. You can cram months of study into weeks if you have the brains for it, but you cannot do the same with workouts.”

Izuku willed himself to hold his head up straighter. “I-I will. Thank you for your advice, it makes a lot of sense.”

The silence that descended between them was more than a little awkward.

“I’ve pestered you enough for today, haven’t I?” All Might eventually said as he took off towards the sidewalk. “Let’s go back.”

Izuku trailed behind the hero as they made their way among the waste, and almost bumped on him when he slowed to a stop to stare at a particularly high pile of contorted, rusty scraps.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, I was just thinking that… What I need is a quiet, lonely place to have some private chats with you, and what you need is a way to work up some muscle and rack up some good karma, right?” All Might scratched his chin as he scanned the heaps of trash hiding the rest of the city from view. “...Say, how do you feel about community service?”

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #All Might #Toshinori Yagi #deku #izuku midoriya

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makeste · 4 years

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nah fam he’s just mad that Dabi is deliberately using his admittedly-fucked-up family history in order to attack not just Endeavor, but all of hero society.--Yeah but hero society played a part in letting all this happen. It's like abuse in law enforcement or major league sports. Hero society directly and indirectly allowed Endeavor to get away with this shit. He bought his wife with his money and fame something he was only able to do as a top hero and a society that let's this stuff slide.

I mean, the whole reason Dabi’s strategy worked here is that no one actually seemed to know any of this, which is why he was able to blindside everyone with the reveal. if Horikoshi gives us evidence that there was a coverup and that other heroes and authorities were aware of Endeavor’s abuses and purposely hid them in order to preserve his reputation, this argument might be more convincing to me; but as it is, I’m not sure I follow the logic of this all the way through to the same conclusion as you. any person with power and influence in any given society is capable of doing what Endeavor did, and hiding it. that on its own isn’t necessarily an indictment of that entire society.

Dabi is taking one valid example of hypocrisy and abuse among the top hero ranks, and using it to declare the entire system corrupt beyond the possibility of repair. I’m not saying the system is perfect, because that’s very plainly not the case and we have clearly seen many examples of that throughout the series. but the specific allegation that Dabi is making -- that all heroes are just as fundamentally corrupt as Endeavor -- is blatantly not true. and he knows it, which is why he was so careful about how and when he finally chose to tell his story. he’s being very deliberately manipulative in revealing this in such a way so that it implicates an entire group of people as being complicit in the crimes of a single man.

and he’s not doing it out of a sincere, idealistic desire for people to gain a healthy skepticism and be more politically informed and engaged. he doesn’t want people to come to their own conclusions; he wants them to come to the very specific conclusion that he wants. he’s accusing the heroes of corruption and deceit, but he’s not above being deceitful and manipulative himself to achieve his ends. by pleading with society to “open its eyes”, what he really means is “you should agree with me that all heroes are bad and beyond the possibility of redemption.”

there’s no room for nuance or discussion or reason in the world that Dabi wants; his views are just as black and white as the most indoctrinated heroes’ are. it’s just that he takes the complete opposite stance as them. he wants a world with no heroes in it at all. it’s all well and good to try and root out corruption, but the villains want to replace that system with one that’s equally corrupt (not to mention extremely murdery), except that this time they’ll be the ones on top. and the heroes aren’t wrong for calling them out on their shit and trying to stop that from happening.

okay but we really have to drop this pretense that the villains are some kind of noble revolutionaries here though. the reason they want to tear down the hero system is so they can run around rampant doing whatever they want, taking whatever they want, and hurting and killing whoever they want, with no one left who will be able to stop them. the only people who would be better off under the villains’ rule are the villains. they’re not magically going to solve all of the problems endemic to hero society by getting rid of heroes, because the heroes aren’t actually the cause of those problems; they’re just the scapegoats.

BnHA Society didn’t invent the problems of prejudice and societal apathy. these problems have always been around, and aren’t going to go away by simply murdering the group that’s currently in charge and installing a new group and saying “these ones are better” without actually doing anything to fix the things that are actually at the root of these issues. the truth is that these problems are extremely complex and don’t have easy answers. and all societies struggle with them. but that doesn’t mean the solution is to just get rid of society altogether and assume that people are going to be any better off.

and look, it’s fine to agree with some of the villains’ ideals, because they do in fact have some good points. but I think fandom believes in those ideals a lot more sincerely than most of the actual villains do, unfortunately. and even if we were to assume that the villains are 100% sincere and well-intentioned -- which they canonically are not -- there’s still the problem of them not having any plan to actually solve the problems they’re lambasting. to rehash an analogy I’ve used in the past because I’m too lazy to come up with a fresh one, this argument of “heroes are not perfect, therefore they should be eliminated” to me is akin to saying that because your house has a leaky roof, you need to tear the whole thing down and never build another house again because houses are inherently flawed. when it’s more like, okay you definitely do need to fix the roof because that can lead to mold and rotting wood and electrical problems and shit, but you don’t necessarily need to tear the whole place down. and even if you do, there’s nothing stopping you from building another, better house using the knowledge you obtained from your experience with the first one! and also, the one thing you definitely do not need to do under any circumstances is to tear down the house, and then go and murder everyone in your town.

but again, that part of it boils down to the villains not actually being sincere as far as their stated motivations go. they’re not looking to make the world a better place here. they’re just looking for revenge. which I understand, given their histories (and I’m still waiting to learn more about Touya’s past btw, because I think Horikoshi is holding back on us). but all the sympathetic backstories in the world aren’t going to make it so that they’re actually in the right here. they’re in it to cause pain and suffering to people. that’s it. and so yeah, I don’t feel particularly conflicted about continuing to root for the heroes to stop that. there’s gonna be a ton of backlash against them after this arc, and that will be very interesting to see, but as a reader I think it’s pretty clear who the good guys are here still.

#bnha 292 #bnha meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks #long post

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lacrimaomnis · 3 years

Text

BRF Reading, 15/7/2021 (Part One)

Background: The ask I received from an anon earlier today made me wonder about something -- but for that, I have to indulge in a little bit of a ramble here.

If you have read my about page here, you will know that I have been an on and off royal watcher for some time. I know about Harry and Meghan's wedding, and while there was something I couldn't put my fingers on back then, I definitely did not lean towards warming up to her, which was normal for me. Catherine got married when I was too young to understand and to have a care for the world, and so, when I started royal-watching, I did not warm up to Catherine quickly either. But if there is anything I know, even if I did not warm up to Catherine sooner, is that Catherine and Wiliam married for love. I believe that much.

Now, Harry and Meghan, on the other hand, feels...I don't know how to say it, but it feels like there were tied hands back then when they married. So I have two questions, which I will read in two days. I planned to read twice in one day, but I am just too tired and sleepy. Part Two will be tomorrow.

As written, this is merely a speculation and therefore must be taken with a grain of salt. This speculation is not true until proven otherwise.

My question today is, why did Harry decide to marry Meghan?

Cards drawn: Knight of Cups, Eight of Wands, Ten of Wands, Eight of Pentacles, Four of Wands, Nine of Cups, Four of Cups.

Remarks/Comments: I was honestly expecting at least one or two major arcana cards to come up to give me some clarity about the situation, but I am surprised to see that none of the major arcana pops up. Not to say that a spread consisting purely of minor arcana cards is less clear compared to a spread with major arcana, but I was hoping there was a definite something I can look at to determine the main energy in this reading.

Summary: This spread consists of seven cards. Three of the cards are Cups and another three are Wands, which means that two suits make up for the majority of cards, which could mean that this marriage was based on feelings (Cups) and was thought of as a solution to a problem (Wands).

First card: Knight of Cups. This is a court card, and therefore, it stands for a person in my question -- which is Harry. This card speaks about making decisions based on emotions rather than thinking calmly to reach a decision; which did tell me that Harry decided to get married solely based on his emotions, and he did make this decision when he was blinded by his emotions rather than reason.

This card also speaks about loving someone for the sake of love itself, speaking about someone who shares that love freely. This does tell me that yes, Harry married Meghan out of love. I was surprised because I was sure that Meghan subtly manipulated Harry to marry her, especially with rumours of the secret marriage and yadda yadda, hence that "hands tied" feeling I mentioned earlier in this post. This card does tell me that Harry truly loved Meghan, loved her enough to marry her. They did say love makes you blind, and I do think this is perhaps what happened to Harry.

Second card: Eight of Wands. This card speaks about delays, frustration, fast-paced change, and action. Looking at this card, I remembered how Harry was not exactly successful with his earlier relationships. He broke up with Miss Chelsy Davy due to "rising incompatibility of their life choices", he broke up with the now Mrs Wentworth-Stanley, Cressida Bonas -- if tabloids were to be trusted, Harry even planned to marry her -- and it fell through. This did tell me that not only Harry loved Meghan enough to marry her, but he also did not want the Eight of Wands to happen again to him and his relationship with Meghan.

Third card: Ten of Wands. Now, this is another interesting card. For some reason, in two separate days, in two readings concerning Harry or Meghan, this card likes to show itself. Harry was burdened by something that he decided to get married and it wasn't that long in the past either, like the Eight of Wands. But the cards did show me he loved her, that Knight of Cups is just staring at me with his wide eyes, and his heart pouring out...then why was he burdened? Wasn't marrying someone you love a celebration, not a burden? Why would marrying someone you love become a burden? I love my partner with all my heart, and I would never consider marrying him a burden. In fact, I am (with that childish excitement) looking forward to the day he offers the ring. Then why? Why did this card come up?

Fourth card: Eight of Pentacles. The only card representing anything material wealth related, and the card itself doesn't even speak about anything materialistic. This card speaks about apprenticeship, repetitive tasks, self-development, and misdirected activity. In a broader sense, this card speaks about working away at the finer details of your life to improve your situation. Did Harry think marrying Meghan would improve his situation? In my humble opinion, marriage is not merely one finer detail of life, it is a huge part of someone's life. What would be improved in Harry's life when he married Meghan? Is there any? Or did Harry think so? There's a big difference between doing something that one thinks would improve a situation and doing something that actually improves a situation, just like how there is a big discrepancy between how we perceive a situation to be and the actual situation. I think Harry's decision to marry Meghan was in the former category.

Fifth card: Four of Wands. This card is closely associated with the elements of home: the people who make a home safe, people who support you, the familiarity, everything that makes a house a home. Now, the position of this card in this spread suggests these "elements" that make a home had an influence on Harry's decision to marry Meghan. The only thing I can think about is the rumours where members of the royal family (particularly William) warned Harry against rushing into marriage.

Looking at its pair, the Eight of Pentacles, this card did give me some idea that Harry might think that his situation at home, at least from his point of view, might be able to be improved if he married Meghan. This would once again beg the question of what, why, and how? How would marrying Meghan improve his situation? Why did he have to get married to improve his situation? What was the situation that he had to get married to improve it? This pair of cards leave me with more questions than answers.

Sixth card: Nine of Cups. This is the pair of the Ten of Wands. This card is usually about contentment and satisfaction, but could also speak about dissatisfaction and materialism. This card tells me that the burden (Ten of Wands) Harry felt was dissatisfaction with his family (Four of Wands). He was not satisfied with something that he decided to marry Meghan, believing that Meghan might be able to satisfy him in that particular aspect of his life. I am not inclined to believe Harry decided to marry Meghan because of money (in fact, I believe the opposite applies), so I'd stick with the dissatisfaction interpretation.

This card also reminds me of the so-called one-sided rivalry between William and Harry, and one of my thoughts I've written here. I must underline that these are solely Harry's thoughts and feelings, which would fall in line with what we've seen from him: a whiny, sulky adult man who feels that everyone has to bow at him because he was the son of a mother who was tragically killed in a car crash.

Seventh card: Four of Cups. This card talks about apathy, contemplation, retreat, and withdrawal. As the result of his decision to marry Meghan, Harry has shown that he was capable of being completely apathetic to all the sadness he has inflicted on his family because of all their lies as long as they get their way. He also leaves his family to follow Meghan, the family that provided him with comfort and stability for all his life.

Conclusion: As much as how we'd like to believe otherwise, this reading tells me that Harry perhaps did love Meghan. Perhaps he did love her enough that he decided to marry her, but that decision wasn't made based on reason. He was blinded by his own emotions. He also thought marrying Meghan would improve the situation at home, perhaps he was thinking that marrying Meghan would improve his standing somewhat, which, well, frankly, does not make sense. What kind of standing did he hope? Did he hope to have some sort of social standing in Hollywood?

#reading: brf #g reads

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ayoalex · 3 years

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I didn't expect for me to do a rant about bumbleby but I've been rewatching RWBY while me and my friend wait till February for the next chapter and holy shit, there's a lot to talk about.

Maybe it's because the first time I watched RWBY was all together without needing to wait like all the fandom but I'm pretty sure bumbleby was either a thought, a path they had as one option or being something it was going to happen no matter what since they started writing RWBY.

All the hints, subtext, etc were there, since the first moment Yang and Blake meet.

We all know RWBY doesn't have all the time neither the budget to make a 30min or 1h long for every chapter, so all the faces, the details, body movements are there for a reason and not to waste time and money.

Yang sees Blake and it's immediately interested, Ruby tells her she knows her and what Yang do? Uses Ruby as an excuse to go closer to Blake and talk to her + this will help Ruby to come out of her shell.

Now, before I continue I want to say that I personally head canon Yang as a lesbian because I relate to her as one but it's perfectly fine if y'all head canon her as bi or pan, what we all know it's that the girl is NOT straight.

Let's continue, Yang try to start a conversation and Blake was not vibing with it until Ruby started talking about books. It's quite a funny moment for me because Yang is so used to people wanted to be with her or wanted to flirt with her that she gets awkward and her confidence start going low the moment she is the one actively going for it and not the other way around.

Yang is quite an interesting character because at first it looks like she's a flirt and knows clubs and illegal stuffs, she's really cool, confident and really attractive. But then as the series progress we see how damage she is, such a low self-esteem she has in certain stuffs, how she's really smart, she doesn't actually flirt and when it's someone she likes she gets all awkward and stuff.

Then you have Blake, we see since the beginning the strong sense of justice she has, how passionate about it she is, she's lowkey most of the times, serious but then we see all her issues, her low self-esteem, how scared she is and how humorous she is as well, assertive and direct. If Yang is not there then the person making the jokes is Blake and I find that really cool.

I mention this because the Blake we see in Emerald Forest is assertive Blake.

Yang gets into the forest and start looking for Ruby while Blake seems to have been following her since they landed in there. She's in the shadows keeping an eye close to Yang, she sees her fighting the Ursas and took advantage of that to help her and appear in front of her. Purposely smirking while looking her directly at her eyes.

Now, why would Blake choose Yang? Why not Phyrra? Or Ruby? Well, because Blake is attracted to strength. It's the same thing that attracted her to Adam, she sees the similarities but there are so many differences as well.

As they continue their journey to find the relic Blake seems to enjoy Yang company, smiling and smirking at her. We basically see a different Blake than we saw when Ruby and Weiss were around, this is more direct, assertive and flirty.

At this point Blake is attracted to Yang, smiling at her jokes, smirking, going all sassy, the way she walks or behaves around Yang.

The best part? She loves it.

My favorite part of bumbleby between v1 and v3 is absolutely when Yang tells her "I love it when you are feisty" and Blake smirks and it's loving it.

Blake loves when Yang gives her attention. It always been there, I'm so sorry y'all can't see it.

But between v1 and v3, while she absolutely loves being around Yang, she's still feels the weight of her past, which makes her still closed and not as free as she would like.

Before I talk about v4 and 5 and the end of v3 I want to talk about Sun.

He's important for Blake's growth and I feel a lot of people don't like that but this is what the media does every single time with women, they present them in the narrative only to make the main dude to growth so, it's actually nice seeing it the other way around + Sun does get a bit of growth and he has some plot in the books I think (I still need to read those but I can't find them 😭).

Since the moment Sun sees Blake he's attracted to her, understandable, she's hot. He tries to catch her attention by helping her, etc.

Blake does not shares the same sentiment until like v3 or something, in some funny way Yang is the one that pushed her to Sun by making her go to the dance and spent time with Sun.

But Blake goes to the dance because of Yang and she specifically tells Sun, in a really smug way btw, how her first dance is reserved for someone else. In the dance she constantly smiles to Yang and then we see her having an amazing time with Sun and Neptune which helps her to relax and making new friends!

At this point Blake seems to be attracted to both Yang and Sun or at least she's a bit attracted to Sun in a sexual way and not romantic wise. Blake loves the attention them both give her, is not in bitchy or selfish way(?) It makes her confident and tbh that's such a human like reaction, knowing that really attractive and amazing people are attracted to you? Please, I would be worst than Blake.

Then we have the end of v3, where Adam appears and everything goes to shit.

It's interesting how they decided to animate and write Blake, Sun and Yang in the Fall of Beacon.

Blake is constantly worried about Yang, specially after what happened, Yang calls Blake and wants to be sure she and Ruby are ok.

Later Blake goes after a Grimm and Sun and Yang are finally in the last place Blake was before disappearing.

Instead of Sun going after Blake it was Yang, he just stays there, behind Weiss.

Is in this volume that we find out that Adam wasn't Blake mentor, they were together in a romantic sense (which is disgusting because it means Adam not only abused her but groomed her). Adam tells her he's going to destroy everything she loves and in that exact moment Yang comes into scene yelling for Blake and poor Blake is mortified and Adam sees this which for him means that the blonde girl is someone that Blake loves.

The freaking meaning of all this is AMAZING, the narrative presents Yang as someone that Blake loves.

When Yang lose her arm it's when Blake gets out of her black state to protect Yang, she could have died but she didn't cared because she needed Yang to be alive, that's her partner and someone who she has confused feelings about.

Because that's the thing, yes Blake knows she's attracted to her but what does that mean? Adam is still around and she knows Yang is vulnerable and can't take much emotional damage.

So Blake leave because at least without her around Yang can still be alive because Adam is looking for her not Yang.

Here's something important, bumbleby of v1 to v3 is something fun, is a teenager thing but then bumbleby of v4 till now is more important, is deeper and goes beyond a crush.

Sun stalks Blake which was pretty bad specially cuz Blake was paranoid about Adam which makes her react violently (she slaps him which is bad as well).

Blake character development in v4 and v5 is really important, not only Sun helps her a lot but spending time with her parents help her heal some stuffs.

But it's in v5 that everyone should have got the confirmation needed for black sun.

There's a moment when they are talking about Adam and Blake tells Sun that she's thankful that he helped her and that's what she wants to do, she wants to be that friend to help Illia, the same thing Sun did for her.

This implies so much and the most important one is that for Blake, Sun is a friend, a very dear one btw, and that she wants to be a friend to Illia as well, she wants to be that safety net that Sun and her parents were for her but with Illia. This is so powerful because Sun is more than ok with that, he only wanted to help Blake and if she ended up falling for him? Cool, and if not, cool as well.

Sun already knew this, since the beginning.

In the end of V3 he saw it and came to terms with it.

You know who were looking out for Blake and Yang when Yang was unconscious and Blake was taking her hand while crying and apologizing? Ren and Nora, who were both tired. And in front of them was Sun, looking at them like "oh", like he understood that Blake eyes we're always on Yang and not on him.

That's why in all the conversations of blacksun in v4 and v5 Sun always brings up Yang and how she may feel because he knows that's the person for Blake, not him.

Because if not, tell me why no romantic business happened? It was perfect to expand their relationship! But they didn't.

Later he was the one pushing Blake to go with her team, he knows, Sun knows how important is for Blake to be with her team and to be with Yang. At the end of the day, the person Blake felt safe with after Adam was Yang.

Now, v6.

Listen, Ruby and Weiss don't get why Yang can't seem to forgive Blake but... Blake does, back in Beacon Yang had an heart to heart with her about her family, Blake knew about what leaving would be for Yang and that's why she so angst about Yang in v4 and v5.

So she tries her hardest, and while I agree that there's some parts that should be written better and they need to TALK about it... V6 was good for them.

The Apathy mini arc was amazing but it was the end of V6 that settle bumbleby to be canon.

Blake finally understanding that they need to be equals in their relationship, them both going against Adam, Adam rage to see how much they love and respect each other, the final blow, Blake break down...

But the most important of all was the beginning of the second part of Blake and Adam fight, because Yang listen everything that Adam said to Blake and it clicked for her.

Blake didn't left because she wanted, she left because she loves them. And the moment Yang hug her, comfort her and reassure her they are fine it's the moment she forgives Blake and a new stage in their relationship starts which lead us to v7.

V7 bumbleby is v1/v3 bumbleby but mature. They talk more (as we see with the scene about Robyn), they want to be more close and close to each other, etc.

Assertive Blake is back! She keeps flirting with Yang, keeps making Yang to compliment her, to pay attention to her, she giggles at Yang's jokes, she goes to a club!! Blake doesn't usually goes to clubs!

In V2 we see Blake can dance but in V7 she doesn't seem to find the rhythm... Ohhh the classic "please help" You give to your crush to make them get closer to you so you can flirt with them and maybe make a move. And Yang? She goes with the flow, because is what Blake wants and Yang wants Blake to lead because Adam is still fresh.

That's why she gets worried about what Blake thinks of her in V8, what they have is new, they are aware of the attraction and the feelings but haven't done anything about it.

I love making it seem they are clueless but they aren't, they are smart and observant young women, Blake knows Yang find her attractive, she encourages Yang to watch her, to flirt, to get closer.

There's a scene in V7 when Yang is watching Blake through the mirror and Blake purposely gets flirty when putting her make up on.

They know they are dancing around each other.

It's so great seeing an wlw couple being like this, I love it. Bumbleby is a slow burn and it's a really cute and adorable one, it's a shame people hate it or claim is queerbaiting.

Yeah, maybe there's some stuffs that could be written better but overall? Bumbleby has been here since the beginning and the development is beautiful to see.

Highly recommend to rewatch RWBY with all this subtext in mind so you will find Bumbleby since day one lol.

Btw, ship whatever you want guys, blacksun is a cute ship, just stop being dicks to the VAs and the writers of the show for something that's your fault, like... Literally, your fault, all the signs were there.

And sorry for making this so long and all over the place, I hope you enjoy this rant tho lol

#bumbleby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #sun wukong #rwby #adam Taurus #blake and yang are gay and in love y'all #sun has a bet with weiss and ruby of when they start dating and for now weiss seems to be winning

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houchlife · 3 years

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10 Steps to Attract the Life You Want

By Heather Mathews Author of Manifestation Miracle

“What you seek is seeking you” - Rumi

If I told you that you could create the exact type of circumstances you want, would you call me crazy?

What if your very thoughts could create ripples of change that not only impact your life…but those around you as well?

Philip, a call center worker from the Philippines certainly didn't think so. He dreamed of moving overseas so he could secure a better life and provide for his family.

But at every turn, his own mind shut down every opportunity he thought of.

For instance, Philip considered seeing an immigration consultant, but he either “didn't have the time” or “couldn't afford it”.

So, he resented his situation and cursed himself (and the world) for his “bad luck”.

He didn't realize that the real culprit was his mindset - not his circumstances.

And it seemed like the more he ruminated, the more bad things happened.

Thus, he kept feeding the cycle of being stuck in a rut and feeling bad, trapping him even more.

That was, until his aunt Sara introduced him to the Law of Attraction.

Turning the tide

Before she moved to California, Sara had been close with Philip and treated him like a son.

She had her own share of struggles finding greener pastures abroad, but she applied the principles from the Law of Attraction to overcome them.

So she sent a few books on the topic to Philip through Amazon so he could gain the clarity to turn his life around.

Discover the Lazy Person's Secret To Get Everything You've Ever Wished For

----- CLICK HERE ------

At first, Philip didn't really think much of it, but he decided to read through the books since his aunt went through the trouble of sending it over.

After he started applying the lessons he learned from the material, things started to change for him.

It came as a complete shock to Philip - he never thought in a million years that making a simple shift in his thinking could have such a direct and POWERFUL impact in his life.

And soon enough, the fog of negativity and despair around Philip lifted and he found a way to make his dreams happen.

Through his persistence, he was eventually able to borrow the money he needed for the consultation fees, and learned the step-by-step process to get work overseas.

Philip was finally able to find a fulfilling and rewarding career in Australia. Not only does he get to support his family back home, he also made friends and enjoys his new life abroad.

Just a few months ago, Philip's parents started their own business, thanks to his help.

At the rate they're going, his family could save enough so they can pass on their business to another relative and follow Philip to Australia. ould wait for Philip to take the offer so they can move there instead.

Whatever option Philip chooses, the possibilities for him are almost limitless.

But he's just one of thousands who made the Law of Attraction to work for him. Like Philip, a lot of people are initially discouraged to try because they think it takes a lot of work.

But the reality is that it's surprisingly easy to get started. You just need to follow these 10 Super Simple Steps to Attract Everything You've Ever Wanted:

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Step #1: A little gratitude goes a long way

The first thing you should learn about the Law of Attraction is that it operates on energy.

YOUR energy, to be exact.

Everyone has a different kind of energy they bring into the world, and it affects them in ways they often don't see or appreciate.

The secret lies in the FREQUENCY of a person's energy - and you need to raise yours in order to change your life.

Think of your unique energy as a sort of gas that fills the space of your reality. Whatever “gas” or “energy” you pump out into your immediate space will define your existence.

Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, said this in his book, “Man's Search for Meaning”:

“To draw an analogy: a man's suffering is similar to the behavior of a gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore the "size" of human suffering is absolutely relative.”

So if you want to invite great things into your life, you need to set the stage first. And you can do that by leading with the right energy.

That's why being grateful and appreciating what you have is powerful way to recalibrate your frequency.

Most folks hold off on feeling this way for AFTER they get what they want. But that's putting the cart before the horse, as the saying goes.

When you LEAD with gratitude, it will act as the precedent for everything good that follows.

Discover the Lazy Person's Secret To Get Everything You've Ever Wished For

----- CLICK HERE -----

What I like to do is start of my day by making a list of things that I'm grateful for. If I miss anything, I save it for later and update my list at the end of my day.

And when I go over my list during the weekend, I'll see exactly how much good stuff I've accumulated.

This creates a kind of snowball effect and helps me attract even MORE good stuff down the road.

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Step #2: Be generous

This can be a challenge for some people if they feel like there isn't enough to go around.

But if you take the initiative to SHARE whatever you can without asking anything in return…

… you'll generate the kind of energy that attracts prosperity for everyone…

…including YOU.

Again, this is the Law of Attraction at work.

Try offering your time, talents and material wealth to those who need it - you'll soon invite blessings without even trying.

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Step #3: Visualize your future

What I find amazing about kids is how powerful their imaginations are.

When they role-play with other children, you can see in their eyes how REAL their games are to them.

This is something that's lost on grown-ups, and it's important to recapture that ability to envision the kind of reality you want.

The Universe likes to play games with us- the better you are at visualizing, the more you'll be rewarded.

Like I said, a certain type of energy attracts a certain kind of reality.

So if you focus your energy and thoughts on that dream job you want or the car you've always wanted to drive, you'll raise your frequency to ATTRACT those exact things.

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Step #4: Let the negativity pass

When the bad times roll in and you feel like dirt, sometimes it's better to step aside and let it run its course.

Having negative thoughts and emotions are totally normal, but you don't always have to wrestle with them.

You can simply acknowledge what's going on in your inner world - then CHOOSE to keep moving forward anyway.

Let this negative energy pass through your system like bad case of gas. The sooner you let it do its thing, the quicker you can get back to what you were doing.

(Sorry for the fart analogy, but it get the point across, doesn't it?)

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Step #5: Never stop growing

It's good to have a daily routine in your life, but not at the expense of your personal development.

Most people are so set in their ways that they're afraid of the thought of doing something new.

Then they complain about their humdrum lives, or that some folks “have all the luck.”

Breaking out of your comfort zone is never an easy thing, but it's a step worth taking.

No matter how loaded your schedule is, find some chunks of time to do things that will help you grow.

Whether it's taking an online course, joining a community, or taking up a hobby, this is a powerful way to attract new and exciting things in your life.

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Step #6: Avoid the “toxic” crowd

There are people who seem hell-bent on pulling others into their world of misery.

Whether they're trying to lessen their own pain or simply enjoy doing it, you need to steer clear of them.

Instead, choose people who will have the opposite effect on your psyche. Not only does a person's energy attract circumstances, it's also CONTAGIOUS.

So make sure you hang out with the people who'll inspire you to achieve greater things - and not bring you down with apathy or inaction.

Learn How to Force the Universe to Manifest Your Dream Life -

CLICK HERE

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Step #7: Give yourself permission to succeed

Most of the world's most brilliant people were put down in some way.

Somewhere along the way, someone told them they'd “never make it” or were “destined to fail.”

In your own life, certain people have tried to discourage you in some way.

They might have tried putting you down when you were growing up - or it could have been last week.

It doesn't matter.

What's important is that you understand that NO ONE can put labels on you.

And more importantly, they can NEVER give you permission to achieve what you want in life. You need to do that for yourself.

Don't let their words define your “story”. You don't have to fit whatever petty narrative they're trying to force on you.

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Step #8: Affirm who you are

Instead of feeding into the lies that people tell you, let this be the day to start living your truth.

Create statements that embody the truth you choose to be, AND to live in.

People do this all the time.

When Elon Musk tried to launch the world's first privately owned rocket and failed, he told himself, “I'm going to try again, and I WILL get that thing into orbit.” (Well, maybe not exactly like that, but you get the point.)

And so his company SpaceX went back to the drawing board and got it right after the third attempt.

Elon affirmed his truth and it manifested into reality. In the same way, you can choose to affirm whatever truth applies to you.

Be honest with yourself and acknowledge the things that TRULY matter to you.

You know it, and the Universe knows it.

The key is to repeat it yourself every day. For example, if you know deep in your heart that you want to make a better life for yourself, you can say something like this:

“I may be struggling right now, but I know deep inside that I have what it takes to improve my life. I see myself transforming into a happier, wealthier person who makes other people's lives brighter.”

When you operate from even the tiniest shred of truth, you can grow that into a powerful force over time.

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Step #9: Fail spectacularly

Here's something most people don't know about the Law of Attraction: before you can enjoy success and find true happiness, you need to crash and burn.

It's better to go after what you want and risking failure rather than playing it safe and not trying at all.

To create order in your life, you'll have to embrace the chaos that comes before it.

This is where you'll find the real lessons, even if they hurt a little.

(Or in some cases, a LOT).

Think of yourself as the beautiful Phoenix, like in the legends.

Imagine burning off bits and pieces of yourself that you don't need. As you rise from the ashes, you're reborn into a NEW YOU.

That's evolution. It may be an imperfect and unpleasant process, but the results are worth it.

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Step #10: Remove your BIGGEST barrier to success

People don't realize that their greatest roadblock is none other than their own mindset.

They may say they want something to happen, but don't REALLY mean it.

For instance, someone might want to lose weight, but they don't want it bad enough.

Worse, they might not actually believe they can shed those pounds. A part of them refuses to acknowledge the faintest possibility of it happening.

This is pretty much why people NEVER attract the things they want in life.

In order to remove this barrier, you'll need to change something inside you.

You need to dig deep and understand WHY you don't want it as much as you say you do.

Are you scared of suffering through the process of getting what you want?

This is what turns most people off - they simply can't process the discomfort involved with growing up.

At the same time, you need to deal with the reasons why you think that your desired reality is impossible.

It could be some deep-seated beliefs brought about by past events, or experiences growing up.

Once you sort this out, you'll be free to do what you want without any pre-programmed beliefs holding you back.

Now, these ten steps we just talked about will get your foot in the door. Once you start doing them regularly, you'll experience remarkable breakthroughs you didn't think were possible.

But if you want to witness even MORE changes on a massive (or even cosmic) scale, you need to check out my FULL course called Manifestation Miracle.

Like the name suggests, I enjoyed nothing short of a life-changing revolution not too long ago.

In a lot of ways, my situation was the same as Philip's. I worked myself to the bone and felt unfulfilled.

I was trapped in my soul-crushing career. Even though I needed the money, I HATED having to put up a hollow appearance of a happy, successful businesswoman.

But then I discovered how turn my mind into a magnet for prosperity and abundance…

Learn how I unlocked the secret to ATTRACTING anything AND everything I wanted - CLICK HERE to watch the video now…

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satendou · 4 years

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My wife I am here with some somft overhaul 🥺💗 imagine going shopping and spotting a nice pair of gloves for Kai because it’s your anniversary soon and so you buy them and get your name embroidered on the inside wrist of the left glove ((bc that’s where the vena amoris is)) and his reaction to receiving them for your anniversary maybe you gets a bit sad bc he doesn’t seem to wear them often but you find out it’s because he doesn’t want to get them dirty -- umihami

thank you for indulging me @umihami alskjf this was so fucking cute and honestly fun to write. i hope it’s believable but even if it’s not well, it’s lowkey self indulgent so...frankly i am unsure if these are headcanons or a scenario or a weird mix so they come as they are sksks.

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

↠ requests open | rules

↠ includes: overhaul

warnings:none

overhaul is not an easy person to shop for. everything he receives has to be disinfected first and that includes whatever comes from you. can’t have filth from the outside world coming into contact with him, after all.

so when you come across a pair of expensive, handmade leather gloves, you instantly know those are for him. it takes some time to save up-- the hassaikai isn’t swimming with cash, after all-- but you make it happen. to your surprise, the tailor offers additional embroidery, if you want, but looking at the gloves, you know kai wouldn’t want anything flashy or over the top (let’s not mention his feather boa, okay?).

but just as you’re shaking your head, you’re struck with an idea, a soft warmth forming in your chest. it’s funny because overhaul is known for being cold and ruthless and god knows he isn’t even good at expressing himself to you, but small gestures speak his truths and you know he truly does care. if he didn’t, you wouldn’t still be around, right?

the day of your anniversary arrives and you set the small box, black topped by a scarlet ribbon, in front of him after a long day. he only stares at it for a moment before plucking it off the table and removing the top, the tissue paper inside crinkling as he removes it.

his reaction is about what you expect, blank and lackluster, but not without emotion. you can hear his gratitude beneath his usual apathy and ire, and the gentle brush of his fingertips over your cheek is another sign, but still you sigh when he doesn’t even remove the gloves from the box.

over the next few days, he knows something is up. you try to hide it because saying anything wouldn’t do any good, and you know how he is, but kai is smarter than you and can see right through your smiles and shrug offs. he doesn’t like to play games, so after day three of your sighs, he asks, “what is wrong with you?”

it’s gruff, maybe a little irritated, and it makes you flinch because you really didn’t want to get into it with him over something like this. unfortunately, overhaul does not like whining in any form and had warned you numerous times about what you were getting into, and you had accepted those risks.

still, when overhaul asks such a direct question, you can’t ignore it, so you sigh and rub your arm, staring towards the closet where the gloves sit, hidden in the box. “do you-- really like those gloves i got? you haven’t worn them and you didn’t even take them out of the box.”

his head cocks, sharp golden eyes narrowing in a calculating manner because he knows you and knows that you know he doesn’t care for someone who’s insecure, and you aren’t so this must be something that’s actually bothering you. skirting around you, he opens the closet door and pulls the box out, still topped with the ribbon, and pulls the lid off.

taking the pair out of the box, he carefully slips the gloves he currently wears off and replaces them with the soft leather ones. he knows fine craftsmanship when he sees it, and knows how much you must have spent on them. while a part of him is irate that you spent so much money on something so frivolous as gloves when he needs funding for his projects, the other part appreciates the lengths you’ll go to for him, even when others think him a monster.

as he’s pulling on the glove, a flash of gold and red catches his attention, and he lifts the hem to peek at the inner lining. stitched in an intricate weave is your name and the words “usque ad mortem,” which he thinks means something along the lines of “until death” or “until death do us part.” the shimmering threads set off a quiet warmth within him, and he holds out a hand to you, beckoning you forward.

“this is why you were upset?” he asks with what some would mistake as derision, but you can hear the amusement beneath it. the leather is soft and pliable against your skin where he cups your cheek, and his mask comes down a moment later. his lips are turned up at the corner and, without the mask, he looks much younger, eyes round and making his face look softer than normal, and you give him a tentative smile. it’s hard being vulnerable around him when he dislikes vulnerability so much, but every once in a while…

his lips touch yours lightly, fleetingly, before pulling back a fraction. he laughs when you try to follow him, knowing how much you crave his touch because he doesn’t give it freely, and cups your other cheek. “i do like them, angel. i don’t want them to get filthy, so i’m not going to wear them except for special occasions. i have a meeting with some potential investors soon, i’ll wear them then.”

it’s a promise and an end to the discussion all rolled into one, and you nod, giving him another small smile. he makes to step back and you begin to pull away, to give him his space, when he grabs your wrist and pulls you back to him.

pausing for a split second, he relishes the surprise on your face before capturing your lips in a tender kiss, trying to convey his feelings through it since words always fail him when it comes to you. whether you understand or not, he has no clue, but your fingertips touch his jaw for a moment, and he thinks maybe, perhaps, somehow, you do.

⇥ masterlist

⇥ taglist: @umihami, @visaintes

#overhaul x reader #kai chisaki x reader #chisaki kai x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha imagines #mha imagines #bnha requests

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blissfulalchemist · 3 years

Note

Hope you don't mind me sending one of these: Catlina - “you remembered?”

Hello there! I do not mind in the slightest! I'm sorry this took a while, but I have it finished for you! I do hope you enjoy though!

She still has about ten minutes before the meal is fully prepared and she’ll wait for another three hours in hopes that Liz will come. She has to come home at some point, Cat thinks leaning against the countertop folding her arms, It’s been almost two weeks. She lets out a slow breath, relaxing her body briefly, the shrill of the doorbell tensing her once more. Her eyes slide slowly towards the front door catching sight of the sleek black car parked in front of her house, Should I really be surprised at this point? She pushes herself off slowly making her way to the front door, pulling the cardigan closer, a soft knock out of time to her walk.

Cat pulls the door open, the first thing she sees are John’s blue eyes darkened by the night. He smiles as she leans against the door, meeting him with a small smile, “Little late for missionary work don’t you think?”

John gives a small shake of his head, “Hilarious,” one of his hands holds a reusable shopping bag as the other gestures inside, “May I come in?”

She stiffened, heart picking up speed, “She might come back John,” Cat glanced back at the stove avoiding his gaze, at least nothing looked to be burning, “She won’t want to see you.”

His smile falters for a split second, “Well I’ll leave if she does show up,” Cat bites her lip, casting her eyes downward, “I just came to see you.”

She perks her head up, giving a small tilt, “You came to see me?” He nods, “Why?”

He shrugs, “Does there have to be a reason,” he asks, face not matching the apathy in his tone, “I figured you could use some company.”

She lets out a sigh, turning away back to the kitchen, “You better keep your promise of leaving if she shows up, John.” Cat leaves the door open, John following behind quickly watching as she moves about the small kitchen. He gives a smirk as he notes her familiar dinner pattern of having a meat, something heavy in carbs, and a vegetable to form a complete meal, he can only assume there’s some kind of dessert lying in wait in the refrigerator.

He takes a seat at the round table, glancing around the room setting the bag on the floor next to him, “I’m surprised you didn’t find a house with a bigger kitchen my Catlina.”

“I didn’t need one,” she replies matter of factly, “Liz and I weren’t getting a lot of visitors so what was the point?”

“Because you could,” she still doesn’t face him head on, which is fine with him as he gets an opportunity to look at his ex-wife for more than just a few rushed minutes, taking in the new details about her. The way the grey in her hair shined through under the lights, how she moves about with more confidence than when he first saw her getting up from that bed seventeen years ago, and the sliver of art peeking out from beneath her shirt on her back making it easy to miss the scarred ends of sin if you didn’t already know of their location. “I made sure you’d have more than enough to get a nice place,” he muses, moving to stand.

Cat brings down the plates, three of them, with a huff, “I thought I made it clear I didn’t like using your money.” Her movements are sharp and short as she puts food on it, gripping the utensils with white knuckles.

“You did,” he sits himself back down as she walks over to him with a plate, “I just wanted to take care of you is all. You and Liz.” Cat gives a small eye roll, working to set the plate down gently rather than drop it like she wishes she could, it's part of her favorite set though.

Her jaw tightens moving to make her own plate, “I don’t need someone to take care of us. I managed just fine.” It’s a lie, his money came in handy when she kept moving hoping for a fresh start for Liz and then again when Cat had a breakdown the week Joseph became a fugitive. She never wants to tell him this though, doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction or the power over her.

“You were the one that asked me for money though,” she splays her hands on the counter, nails digging into the faux granite, “So it seems like you did need me.”

“Only because I was at the last of my options,” she says through gritted teeth, “I set aside my pride for Liz because she needed a place that was safe and as free as one could be with her,” Cat paused, turning to look John up and down trying to hold back the sneer, “genetics. Ones that no one lets her forget once they know.”

His eyes narrow, a hand running through his hair, teeth grinding, “I am aware of her life and how it’s been Catlina, there’s no need to remind me.”

“Never hurts to do so with you.”

John inhales deeply, closing his eyes, “There’s no need to bring this argument up once again, don’t you agree?”

She glares at him a moment more before nodding, finally allowing herself to sit down across from him. Her shoulders fall with an exhale as she settles herself, eyes casting downward, replying softly, “I don’t really feel like arguing with you tonight anyway.”

John lets the quiet loom, waiting for her to take the first bite before making any movement of his own. He shouldn’t have been surprised by how quickly the accusations started with her, her anger did always have its way of festering beneath the surface and John had always been the one that could draw it out. Little by little until it all flooded out and she was no longer the same person he had grown to love and care for. John smirks to himself at the memories of their first few weeks together, “Do you remember those first few weeks and we did nothing but fight all the time?” She glances up at him, “Sorry. When we did nothing but argue.”

“We didn’t fight all the time,” Cat mumbles, pushing the food around on her plate. “I didn’t really like talking to you, I remember that.”

John laughs, “You and I still talked quite a bit,” his teasing tone getting an eye roll from Cat, “and it always seemed to end with you stating an opinion that I didn’t agree with.”

“You know I wasn’t the only one giving opinions,” a smile teases at the corner of her lips, pointing the fork at him, “You baited me into those arguments. Tested my patience.”

“Not like it was hard to do, especially then.” John smiles resting his chin on his hand, “We were so different you and I, like oil and vinegar,” Cat snorts, giving a small shae of her head, “Pretty sure my brothers still wonder how we managed to actually end up falling for each other.”

Cat stiffens at the notion, swallowing the bite in her mouth, “There are people that believe they know how we managed that.” The memories of when she would call out to him in the months following her return to society and the calm responses of the doctors telling her that it was all made up, some side effect of whatever they drugged her with echo on the edge of her hearing. She swallows the memories back, “We did seem to meet up in some kind of middle, I’ll admit, even if it was brief.” Cat can’t even fake a smile as she casts her gaze down, no longer focusing on the plate in front of her. John slides the chair closer to her, reaching out to place his hand gently on hers.

He gives a small smile when she looks up at him, “There’s still time. We can always pick up where we left off,” Cat’s stomach flips, her chest pulling towards him while everything else backs away. He can’t be serious. He knows why we can’t, “After all, we do have a child together, so I doubt we’ll ever fully be out of each other’s life.”

“John,” she warns, looking up, “we’ve talked about this.”

“I’ll be good, don’t worry,” he says softly, “Just hard not to think about, on today of all days.”

Cat frowns, “What do you mean ‘today of all days’?”

He gives a genuine smile, something she forgot he could do, “It’s the day this all started.”

“You remembered,” she gives John a pointed look, arching a brow, “the exact day I finally woke up after the accident?”

“I could tell you the exact date if you’d like but it seems a little irrelevant considering that day passed.”

She opened her mouth ready to argue, closing it as she glanced at the digital clock on the wall the date spelled out for her. “Our wedding,” she whispered, eyes moving slowly to look back at John slowly, unease threatening to climb her spine, “That was today wasn’t it?”

He nods, giving a small hum, “Married seventeen years today.”

“I think illegally in the eyes of the law, technically, but that’s more your department,” Cat looks down to the bag still at his feet, “Is that why you brought that stuff?”

John gives a nonchalant shrug, “Kind of seems silly now, don’t you think? Especially since I was the only one of us to remember,” he laughs softly trying to keep the mood light.

“I used to remember it,” she admits pushing some of the food on her plate, “Used to fixate on that date to a point I’d get upset when it wasn’t.” Cat lets out a slow breath, “Used to convince myself that you would finally come back, would whisk me away from that place and we’d live out our lives happily, because surely my husband, who loved me so deeply and obsessively, wouldn’t just abandon me on our anniversary.”

“Ah,” he hunches, leaning his elbows on the table, “I see.”

“Eventually days started to blur and I worked to actively not think about Montana. Honestly it became too painful to do so and I had Liz to focus on.” She shook her head, “So I’m sorry, I-well I needed to forget that date. Forget the significance of today.”

“I understand,” John attempts a smile that falls quickly, “The first one didn’t go so well for me either. I lost your ring….,” he sighs, “O well the dep-Chance stole it from me. Probably should have taken that as a sign looking back at it all.”

They let the silence fall, each taking small bites finding nothing either could do to lift the disappointment. Cat paused peering closer to the contents John had brought with him, the only thing she could identify with certainty being a bottle of wine. It’s just one night. It doesn’t have to mean anything long term, She bit the inside of her lip, It doesn’t even have to go beyond talking. She swallowed, inhaling deeply, standing to make her way to the cabinets, John watching curiously.

She pulled down two goblets, one a smokey black and the other a deep red, giving them a quick rinse and drying them off before walking back to the table. “Now don’t read too much into this,” she started going back for the wine opener, “but given we were both sort of on good terms with the other at the time of our first anniversary I say that we let ourselves celebrate it late.”

John smirked, arching a brow, “Do you really think that’s a good idea, my Catlina ,” he asked, pulling out the bottle from the bag, taking the opener from her.

“I think it’s the nice and right thing to do,” she smiled giving a shrug, “Besides it might help us get some closure on us.”

He pulled the cork out with ease, eyes widening, watching as she poured their glasses. There was little hesitation to her words, something that he once again should have seen coming, still it did little to ease the sting, “Yeah, it could,” he agreed reluctantly, “We both can use the closure.”

She threw him a smile, going to the fridge once more putting away the remaining dinner, John took a glance at the small purple wrapped box he pulled from his pocket as she announced her idea of celebrating. He took a deep breath sliding it back into place, opting to pull out the small container of chocolate covered fruit before Cat had turned back to him fully, his smile on to its full charm once more. He could let himself enjoy these few hours, let himself believe that there was a chance for them once more. John held up his glass once she sat down, “To celebrating our first and only year of marriage,” Cat laughed, tapping her glass against his before they took their first drink of the night. One night. She could let herself indulge in the fantasy she once, still, craved for just this one night. It didn’t have to mean anything more.

#x: tribulation #salvations two paths #catlina rojas oc #I'll put a banner later cause I can't find what I like at the current moment but I hope you enjoy it still!#getting some post salvations catjohn was interesting to say the least in getting that relationship right

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girlmeetsliv3 · 4 years

Text

Prince of Nothing I

~ Part One of Five ~

Release Date: March 19th, 2020 @ 9 p.m.

Word Count: 6,608

Jeon Jungkook was the prince of everything except for you…

Jeon Jungkook was the prince of everything: heaven, hell, and everything in between. His family was an enigma who came to power under mysterious circumstances and had managed to retain hold over the kingdom for centuries - even if no one knew how. There was one thing that Jungkook wanted though, something that could never be his: you. A nobody. A girl with no title. No land. Just money and a pure soul to your name. Jeon Jungkook would’ve never spared a look your way, had that incident not occurred. Now you find yourself the target of his affection and the most hated woman in all the land. Which will kill you first?

Trigger Warning: The following story contains mentions of manipulation, abuse, and vivid, as well as implied, descriptions of abusive acts. The behavior and mindset of the characters in this will be incredibly yandere and toxic. This is a work of fiction and doesn’t represent the character of bangtan sonyeondan. Enjoy ~~~

“YN, please listen to me,” Hyunshik spoke a frown etched into his pale face. From where he was standing YN could see how his leg twitched anxiously. Hyunshik wasn’t the type of individual to be easily stressed, in fact, the man had a perpetual optimism that often irked his sister. Which is why her brother’s sudden switch unnerved YN. “Shik, what’s going on?”

Hyunshik had suggested a holiday for the two of them. Though the way he shaped his words, YN wondered if it was less of a ‘holiday’ and more of an escape. From what exactly she didn’t know. YN shook her head, she didn’t understand where all this was coming from. Things had been going well for the siblings as of late: their house was small but quaint enough for them to live comfortably. While Hyunshik had been employed in Mistress Eun’s manor since he was sixteen, YN had recently been employed in a small shop in the town square. Her employer was a bit strict but well-meaning. Is it Mistress Eun? YN had heard enough around town to know that she wasn’t a kind woman - often barking orders and treating her staff like scum beneath her feet. Hyunshik though simply cleaned, he wasn’t in high enough of a standing to be able to communicate much less see her.

YN stopped organizing the different fabrics on the shelf and walked towards her brother. “Talk to me. Did something happen?” In her eyes, there were unspoken words - one that Hyunshik could easily understand. Did she do something to you? Though Hyunshik was always happy, he wasn’t naive about the cruelty of the world. Something his sister had yet to experience fully, so for her sake he smiled. “Nah, work has just been piling up recently and I thought the two of us could use a break you know. Maybe go to the seaside and enjoy the ocean for a bit.” YN smiled though it didn’t quite reach her eyes, “I just started working silly. Maybe we can go for the solstice? That way we can actually enjoy the sea. It’s far too cold now.”

Hyunshik gave an exaggerated sigh, “Fine but don’t complain to me later on,” his finger came up and gently massaged the space between YN’s brows. “Stop frowning, it’s unladylike and makes you look like a hag.” YN scoffed, “Rude. Plus, I am hardly a lady.” She returned to the counter and began organizing the small intricacies placed there. Hyunshik rolled his eyes, “Please my sister is the fairest maiden in all the land. I have to fight off suitors every day.” His tone became a strong bravado as he flexed his arms.

“Don’t lie to yourself, if anything I fight off my suitors every day. You couldn’t harm a fly.”

YN and Hyunshik had moved to their current home when the latter was sixteen years old. Their parents had just passed shortly before and they couldn’t afford to live in the city anymore, despite them living in the slums; which only grew worse over time. Slavers often went around picking up orphaned children to either sell or trade, so Hyunshik sought to get both of them as far away as he could. In desperate times came desperate measures, but Hyunshik had always stayed on the right side of things. Even when doing the wrong thing would have provided an easy out to all their hardships, he wasn’t that type of man. YN knew this deep down in her bones. So, when she saw a detained poster pierced to her front door with Hyunshik’s name under it she knew it had been a mistake.

Soojin knew this was a part of her role, didn’t mean she hated it any less. Soojin had woken up that morning to the advisor telling her that the King had relayed his duties of standing council to Jungkook, and Jungkook to her. She didn’t have to do it - not really but it wouldn’t bode well. Even if these were technically not her people, they would be someday and it would be better to win their favor than their apathy. Soojin was meant to be the velvet to the Jeon's leather and she would play her role well. So she had sat in that wretched chair that seemed to wrap around her, tightening every second she sat upon it. It wasn’t too difficult, most of the cases were simple cases. As she was not a princess by blood, she couldn’t make any impactful decisions but it was a bit fun nonetheless to have people look up at her in the opal throne, fear in their eyes. It sent a tingle down her spine.

Still the sensation would fade quickly as the black mamba kept coiling around her form; a reminder that it was not her throne - not yet. “Princess Soojin, the next case.” Soojin felt her eyes roll to the back of her head as she looked down upon Joo Eun feeling nothing but disgust crawl up her throat. The lady was Yoongi’s latest fling, but she felt the need to parade that around the entire court. Though one could tell just by looking at her attire that modesty and sensibility wasn’t something she knew. “What seems to be the problem?” Before Eun could speak a younger girl stepped forward, her attire worn but pleasant. Her eyes were red and brimming with unspilt tears, but somehow the girl’s head remained held high.

“Good Morning your highness, I am here on behalf of my brother to ask that he is released as I believe there may have been a mistake.” The commoner kept her head low as she spoke, body angled in a bow. It wasn’t until she finished speaking that she looked up and Soojin’s eyes met hers. When she gazed into her eyes a weird sense of Jamais Vu consumed Soojin. What? “Why that’s just ridiculous. Why would I lie?” Eun’s voice was a high shrill, too high to be genuine. “I know my brother, he would never steal or harm anyone. Even if they tried to harm him.” The girl pleaded. She never once looked at Eun, perhaps knowing that would be a lost cause. No, all her words were directed towards the princess sitting on the throne. “Are you implying something?! Look at these people, we give them everything. Allow them to live under us, yet they bite the hand that feeds them.”

Soojin would’ve normally agreed with Eun’s statement, but her attention was focused on the girl. She knew her from somewhere but it almost felt like what she was seeing wasn’t real. An illusion. A vision. “There are no witnesses. My brother doesn’t even have access upstairs. How would he steal?” It seems that Eun hadn’t thought out her plan to incriminate the boy or she hadn’t expected that he would have someone come to bat for him. Nonetheless, it seemed this case was a simple one. Soojin raised her hand to signal her decision, about to wave in the direction of the village girl until -

“He assaulted me! He asked me to bed him and when I refused he threatened to kill me.” Ah, so that’s what had happened. Poor boy had refused Eun’s advancements and now he was paying the price. “Do you have any proof of this statement Mistress Eun?” She didn’t need proof, Soojin knew that. Just her words were enough to condemn him. No one would ever dare question a noble - their words were gold. Still, Soojin felt pity for the girl. “He took that necklace off of me.” Eun pointed towards the girl’s neck.

“No, this is my mother’s. She left it to me when she passed.”

“Liar. As if a vermin as yourself could afford something like that.”

“Please Mistress Eun. Please, Your Highness.”

Soojin was beginning to get a headache with all the back and forth. She rubbed her temples slowly. Just let Jungkook deal with this when he gets back. For some reason, something twisted in her gut when she had that thought but she ignored it. Soojin leaned back, feeling more claustrophobic by the second. A sigh left her lips, “The prince will deal with this when he returns. Take her to the dungeons.”

YN couldn’t stop the tears flowing from her eyes even if she wanted to. She’d long given up on holding in the sobs that racked through her body as her brother’s fate dawned on her. Hyunshik...we should’ve run away. There was a time for should've. If only she could’ve gone back and recognized the absolute terror in her brother’s eyes. The dread. Please. Please. Please. Please. I’ll do anything. It seems someone had heard her pleas for YN felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand, goosebumps rising beneath her clothes. YN turned to look past the iron gate, she saw nothing but pure darkness - but she could feel it. Her lips parted, but nothing came out. She was hesitating, afraid of what would occur next. Unsure if she was prepared for it.

“Who are you?” She heard a slight snicker back. YN jumped off the slab of metal she was previously sitting on. Her eyes pierced into the dark abyss trying to find something, but she came out empty-handed.

“Someone.” It was curt, monotone in its nature. Not giving much away except that it was a man.

“Why are you here?” The question was echoed back at her. YN stepped forward heart wavering, but her voice was strong. “You know why.” It seems he didn’t have a remark for that. Something inside YN told her to keep her guard up, she had only ever felt like that when she was younger and living in the slums. Life had been a tightrope walk without a safety net and YN felt transported back to her youth.

“Tell me YN, if you had to choose, would you rather be the fool or the one doing the fooling?”

“Does it matter?” YN didn’t see where he was taking this conversation.

“Better to be the fooler than the one being fooled.” The smugness seeping from his tone was palpable.

“I disagree.”

“Oh?” His voice seemed closer now, though she still couldn’t tell which direction it came from.

YN stepped forward once again, “I’d rather trust blindly, stupidly, and be fooled than be the one doing the fooling.”

“Why?” The voice was even closer now, YN threaded carefully still uneasy about not knowing who this mysterious man was. There was something familiar about his tone, though she couldn’t quite place it.

“Because the world needs more of it...hope I mean.”

“I don’t think that is what it comes down to.” YN could feel his disappointment, but she didn’t care. The man seemed to want to converse in circles and she wasn’t in the mood to entertain whims.

“Doesn’t it? I would rather live a life full of hope that the world out there is good and pure, even if it is a short one. It would be worse to live a long life without hope where I rob others of it.” There was a strong silence that followed. As if the man was mulling over her words, then suddenly there was a shift in the air: it became lighter. Pushing all the warnings aside YN took one last step until she was mere inches from the metallic rods that imprisoned her in the cell.

“I can save your brother.” YN felt disoriented as if the air had been robbed from her lungs before she even knew it. Happiness swelled in her. Hope-filled her, but - “Did you not just confess to fooling others?” YN knew better than to trust the words of a mysterious stranger lurking in the shadows. It seemed the man was aware of this for he finally stepped out of the shadows and into the light, his body inches from the door.

Jeon Jungkook, the prince, stood in front of YN with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. It was a cocky smile, the type that alluded to an inside joke or something ironic. “Did you not just confess to trusting blindly?” YN peered into his eyes trying to decipher what he wanted. Though YN was trustful, she wasn’t a fool to the way things worked. The only time a man in a position of power like Jungkook offered something to someone like her - is because he wanted something in return. The devil is in the details. YN had heard enough stories about the Jeon family growing up to know they gave the devil a run for his money. ”What do you want?”

“Hm,” Jungkook seemed to actually think this over as he glanced away from her and towards the long dark corridor. He’s trying to play it off. “Your highness?” At this, his attention returned to the woman in front of him. “Yes?” Jungkook whispered, his eyebrow quirking.

“What would your highness like in return for helping my brother?” YN had tossed caution out the window, the second she realized it was the prince she was speaking to. Not that royalty could be trusted - no - but he was the only person who could aid her. Besides Princess Soojin, who threw me here in the first place. The princess had appeared to be on YN’s side only for her to throw her in a dark cell the second her patience wore out. If she treated her subjects like nuisances rather than people, it seemed she wasn’t the good well-mannered princess the media portrayed her to be. Just another spoke in the wheel.

Jungkook could see the wheels turning behind her eyes and spoke quickly, “I am lonely and require stimulation...of the intellectual kind, of course.”

This dazed YN for a bit, “You wish to debate?!” At this the prince shook his head, “I wish to converse. It’s not often I get to speak with my subjects, especially not ones as well-versed as yourself.” That was a back-handed compliment if there ever was one.

“Perhaps if you did, your highness, you would find that many of your subjects are as well-versed as I am. Some even more. It’s a survival tactic, not a skill.” Hyunshik had always said that tongue of hers would only get her into trouble. Considering how intrigued Jungkook looked by her response, he was right.

“How so?”

“It's a dog eat dog world out there.” More like a snake eat snake.

“And yet you trust blindly, stupidly even and hope.”

YN had no response for that so she chose to change the subject, “When do you wish for this to happen?” Jungkook chuckled, stepping closer to the iron bars. YN could faintly feel his breath and he hers. “I’ll send a guard to escort you.” YN didn’t respond, something in the back of her mind warned her against this. Told her to turn her back at the extended hand, to bite it, spit at it, and never accept it. However, to do so would mean losing her brother; the only thing she had left in this life. As if sensing her reluctance Jungkook gave that final nudge, the one that would send her tumbling down the rabbit hole.

“What would you do to save your brother?”

“Anything.”

Yoongi had never excelled at pleasantries or small talk, he preferred standing in the corner and merely observing everyone else. His father used to joke that it would’ve been better if he was born in the lower class, that way he could live his life unnoticed and unbothered. Still, there were definite benefits to being in his position and Yoongi had long taken advantage of them. Plus, the food wasn’t too bad. Although having to sit in awkward lunches such as this one often turned any delicacies in his mouth to ash. He picked up on the discussion between his two patrons, but when the subject of Eun came up Yoongi scowled. Yoongi had taken her as a Mistress simply to entertain him. She wasn’t too bad to look at and did decently in bed.

Her blowjobs, though, we're out of this world. Still, she proved too difficult to handle and had been bragging nonstop about being a Duke’s lover. While normally Yoongi wouldn’t care, it would only cause trouble at home and Yoongi already caused enough of it all by himself. Deciding it better not to dwell on those thoughts in public, especially in front of them, Yoongi’s attention returned to the Prince and Princess. Why the hell am I here?!

Yoongi had been resting in his room when he’d been informed that he'd been invited to a private lunch with the Prince. Though gauging from how out of it the young man seemed, especially whenever his lover spoke to him Yoongi was only more confused as to why he was here. Yoongi was in a high standing position, but there were definitely others who outranked him. Other’s that made for much more interesting players in the Jeon’s chess game, but it seemed the younger had a soft spot for him. It wasn’t the first time the prince had shown him a kindness he reserved for those closest to him. Maybe it meant he liked him? Or maybe he sees me as easy prey? Actually the more he focused on the young prince, the more it dawned on him that Jungkook was daydreaming - he was thinking.

“My mother has called and requested I visit her, says it’s an emergency. I’ll be leaving right after lunch and should return the day after tomorrow.”

Jungkook’s entire aura had shifted, a gleeful look now in his eyes. “Is that so?” pondered the young man, with an exaggerated pout on his lips. Yoongi had fallen victim to that trick so often he now recognized it, but it seems the Princess was none the wiser. “Don’t miss me too much,” Soojin replied, a smile on her face. Yoongi was often confused by the dynamic between the two of them. They didn’t act like lovers - no it was as if they were both pretending to be lovers and just happened to be really good at it. Or at least that’s how it should’ve been. For when Soojin stared at Jungkook for too long, her mask began to slip and Yoongi could see traces of affection and admiration in her eyes. Jungkook’s, however, remained forever blank and cold.

Their relationship reminded him of his own. “Tell me Yoongi, how has Jisoo been doing?” Shit, he wasn’t prepared for the cards to turn on him. Now both of them gazed at him with unrecognizable looks in their eyes. The masks are back on. “She’s well. Resting at home and tending to my mother.” Yoongi grumbled, he didn’t like being asked about his wife. It only served as a reminder to him and everyone else how undeserving he was of her. Thankfully the conversation had strayed away from him again onto some random girl. Yoongi let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding in. I need a break. Well, he had been taking a break he hadn’t seen his wife or lover in weeks, but now he needed a break from his break. Yoongi was getting angsty again and there was only one person who could fix that for him.

“If the two of you would excuse me, I’ll be going now.”

Before Yoongi could even blink, Soojin had left the room; left him alone with Jeon Jungkook. Those sharp snake-like eyes trailed over him like a beast assessing its prey. Any second now Jeon would strike, Yoongi could feel it. “Say Yoongi, your little songbird, does he still sing?” Yoongi was frozen in shock. H-how does he know? Jungkook had his head resting casually on his hand with an almost unamused look on his face, though Yoongi could see the wickedness gleaming in his eyes.

There was no point in denying the accusation, Yoongi knew, but perhaps to agree would cause so much more harm. “Not anymore, your highness.”

At this, the man sighed, “What a shame. I was in need of his services.” Jungkook was baiting him, Yoongi was too much of a coward not to bite.

“Services for what?”

“Nothing too major, just information.”

Information Yoongi could deal with, but there was something about the dark look in the Prince’s eyes that unnerved him. Still, this was a test, Yoongi would lose far too much if he failed it. God bless the poor soul. “Who?”

Yoongi didn’t miss the way a grin spread Jungkook’s lips apart.

It was hours later that a guard did appear, his jaw sharp and nose held up high as if she were scum. YN was used to nobility treating people like her as if they were inferior, but a guard? YN smiled a bit which only seemed to upset the man more, for he practically dragged her out of her cell before threading through the dark corridors of the dungeons. The castle was beautiful - there was no denying that. Exorbitant and excessive in only the way the rich could be, still the palette of the castles were mostly shades of blacks, greys, and muted whites so it didn’t appear as if Midas had gone mad. It was a fairly long walk until they reached what she assumed were the apartments. The room they seemed to be heading for was the one at the end of the hall, whose doors stood taller and prouder than those around it.

YN did note how she hadn’t seen many nobles loitering around and decided it must be offseason. Why else would they let me into a room? The doors slid open before either the guard or YN could even touch them, which confused her. The guard wasted no time in pushing her inside and gesturing towards the bed, “Twenty minutes.” He stated before slamming the doors shut. For her to say the room wasn’t beautiful would be a lie, it was so unlike everything else the palace was: simple and almost vacant. Though what definitely stood out the most were the tall rounded stained glass doors that led out onto a balcony. There was something so beautiful about the way the moonlight streamed into the room, creating a beautiful highlight that contrasted all the darkness in the room. YN found herself walking towards the doors, drawn in by the moonlight.

When was the last time she’d seen the moon? Surely, it couldn’t have been so long ago? Her hands reached out towards the handles, as she pondered if the moon would look that much beautiful up close. It must. All beautiful things look better upon closer inspection. She was so close - STOP! YN jumped back and looked around the room, catching sight of the dress on the bed. It was a black embroidered gown, from just putting it on YN was sure it was worth more than her life. She assumed she should be using this time to make herself look presentable to the prince, but all she really did was try to smooth down her hair and calm her heart. It wasn’t long until there was a harsh knock on the door before the guard from before threw the door open.

YN assumed they were heading down towards one of the dining rooms or maybe a parlor, but instead they continued to climb upwards until they reached the top floor. Where the guard made a sharp left turn they were met with large opal doors with the Jeon’s crest embedded in it. “I thought we were having dinner.” The guard smirked, raising his fists to knock. The doors opened to Jungkook sitting at the head of a table with an elaborate feast in front of him, whilst he sipped on a glass of wine. “Thank you, Jinyoung. You’re excused.” Jinyoung smiled and bowed, before pushing YN into the room.

YN lingered by the door, her focus lay entirely on the man ahead and now that she was in his presence without a barrier to separate them - she realized how threatening he was. Almost as if the cell was keeping him out. The room itself screams Jeon in every sense of the word, it's dark colors accented with green, silvers, and golds. It must’ve been the largest room in the castle save for the king’s - a penthouse in a way. “Come, sit. I don’t bite.” Somehow she doubted that. YN walked towards Jungkook counting the steps as she gazed straight ahead, she wanted to sit away from the prince but he had other plans as the chair to his left was the only one not tucked in. It was once she sat that he finally looked at her, trailed his eyes delicately across her body.

YN shifted uncomfortably aware that the evening dress, though long, still accentuated her figure in a way she wasn’t used to. YN cleared her throat, “I thought we were going to have dinner.” He seemed to understand what she was implying but played coy nonetheless.

“Is this not dinner?” Jungkook gestured to the row of dishes in front of them. Not when it’s served in your bedroom it isn’t.

YN surmises all of this was supposed to impress her, but all it truly did was make her annoyed at the prince. There was a clear disconnect between the palace and the world that existed outside the tall metallic gates. If the prince was willing to spend all this for a simple village girl, what might he do for someone of actual ranking and value? Then again he was a Jeon and their reputation precedes them, the image they conjured up wasn’t of ‘for the people’ but rather ‘for themselves.’

“You don’t seem impressed.” The prince leaned forward, eyes piercing into hers.

“I am…”

“Please, don’t hold back on my account.” Jungkook leaned back, resting on his chair. One of his legs was perched up and his hand resting on it, as the wine inside the glass swirled around. His eyebrow quirked, indicating he was waiting for a response and YN thought it best to simply give him what he wanted. After all, hadn’t he asked her not to hold back?

“It just seems like a gluttonous amount of food for two people.” She remarked looking at it.

Jungkook chuckled, “Gluttonous that’s a big word.” The stare that YN sent him had him laughing. She was taken aback by it, his laugh: the way his crinkled eyes shined and the melodic airiness of it. “Sorry but you are quite amusing. Telling the prince off for ordering too much food.”

YN’s eyes widened and she was quick to apologize, biting the inside at her cheek while she scolded herself for forgetting her place. Jungkook dismisses her apology, waving her off. “It’s refreshing.” For a second, YN felt comfortable around him. Truly comfortable, as if they were young acquaintances - not a prince and his subject. Someone next in line for the throne while YN was fighting to prove her brother’s innocence. Things would’ve been different. Things could have turned out different for the two of them, were they in another world and another time. Or maybe they were always destined to bring nothing but pain and suffering into each other’s lives. It’s easy to wonder and pretend, but fate is cruel and has a twisted sense of humor. Still, YN wondered if in another world Jungkook and her could’ve become friends. Maybe.

“Tell me about yourself.” It wasn’t a suggestion, more of a statement really. YN places the knife down pausing cutting the steak as she looks up to meet Jungkook’s eyes. There was something lurking in them. “Why?” The prince shrugged as if he was simply trying to make small talk. It didn’t go unnoticed by her how throughout the course of their meal he had gotten closer to her: his chair was tilted towards her, his feet were outstretched so they occasionally brushed hers, and he stared at her as if he were trying to pierce into her soul.

“My mother and father died when I was fairly young, so it has been my brother and I for a while. My brother has been working since he was eleven and I’ve managed to get a job recently,” she moved around the food on her plate. “I haven’t had an easy life, but I don’t have room to complain when there are others who have had it far worse.” YN’s early life hadn’t been easy and she still didn’t know how she got out. Still, there was always someone who had it worse and she had her brother, a good home, a sense of security. Jeon Jungkook might seem polite, or at least he’s good at pretending he is, but he would never understand what it’s like. YN doesn’t want to bother educating him, so the sugar-coated version of her life is better.

YN heard a chair screech and suddenly Jungkook was incredibly close to her, sitting at the edge of his seat. “No, I want to know you. All the little things about you.” The change in his attitude almost gave her whiplash, he was whining now. Like a child that didn’t get what he asked for. That sense of unease crept back into her system as she leaned back trying to get as much distance between the prince and her. “I’m sorry, but why?” It wasn’t a ridiculous question to ask, but the way Jungkook was looking at her made her feel like it was. “Why not?” His dark coal eyes boring into hers were almost predatorial.

Goosebumps began to rise throughout her body the longer the silence prevailed. YN didn’t feel safe anymore, Jungkook looked just about ready to strike at her but instead, he simply smiled. “Why were your parents killed?” What? “Why did you run away from the slums? Why did you move into Giihan? Why were you never engaged?” YN’s jaw slackened as she sat there unable to comprehend how he knew all of this. Finally, Jungkook paused, seeming to deliberate on whether or not he should ask his final question. “Don’t you think it’s inappropriate to live with a man with no blood relation to you?”

YN was frozen with fear, she saw at that moment a brief glimpse of Jeon. What he was capable of. “H-how...” How does he know all those things? How does he know Hyungshik and I aren’t related?

“I had to make sure I wasn’t being fooled.”

Rage. That’s what began to rise inside her, though it was mainly at herself still it was a cruel reminder that to him this was all just a game. Something to entertain him because he was bored. YN grips the chair handles to stand up but freezes when she feels something slither across her neck. Her ears picking up on slight hissing. Jungkook grinned, “Ah yes, that’s Morte. Don’t worry he’s harmless just try not to make any sudden movements.” His eyes were alight with humor, finding the entire situation funny.

The snake settled comfortably on YN’s shoulders and the girl willed herself not to cry. It would only further wound her pride and it might startle the snake. Jungkook reaches over to the wine bottle and pours himself another glass, “By the way, I spoke to Eun. She admitted to having a fancy on the boy and getting upset when he rejected her so blatantly. It’s his fault really if he had gone along with it none of this would have happened.” That wasn’t true if Hyunshik had been caught in an affair with Mistress Eun his corpse would be hanging from the gallows.

“Thank you, your highness. May I see my brother now?”

“Oh, he’s still imprisoned and awaiting trial.”

“...what?” YN couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. He had said, he had agreed. A sudden flashback of the first words Jungkook had ever spoken to her, “would you rather be the fool or the one doing the fooling? Better to be the fooler than the one being fooled.” It wasn’t until she felt the tears rolling down her face that YN realized she was crying. The next words were the ones that solidified how naive she’d been. “I only agreed that I could save your brother if you had dinner with me, not that I would.” YN felt her entire world begin to crumble. Here she was playing dress-up, feasting with the prince, trusting him, while her brother was about to be imprisoned for the rest of his mortal life. She should feel upset, disappointed, enraged, but all she felt was a cold apathy overtakes her as it finally dawned on her why she was here.

She was a nobody and yet the prince had visited her, dolled her up, and had her delivered straight to his bedroom. There was only one way to save her brother.

“What would it take for you to save my brother?”

“From imprisonment?”

“Yes.”

“A kiss...just one.”

“Do you swear on your life?”

Jungkook laughed, “I swear on the life of everyone in this kingdom, save for yourself of course.”

It was sudden really how she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his, tears still trailing down her face. It was so sudden in fact that it startled the snake, who sank its fangs straight into her neck.

Yoongi had barely the night before images of his loved ones massacred while a snake suffocated him plagued his mind. It had been months since Yoongi had been home, but he had this urgent need to return; to make sure everything was okay. His current definition of okay meant that everyone was alive and not dead by the hand of some psychotic prince who had recently found himself a new toy to play with. It was quite ironic how much Yoongi felt the need to criticize Jungkook, considering he too had fallen victim to the same type of infatuation. He would never dare recognize it as such though, no, what they had was different. No one understood him like he did. No one would ever love him as much as Yoongi did. J-

“Duke Min?” Yoongi spun around and was greeted with the sight of a young girl. There was a sense of urgency, need, in her eyes and Yoongi thought she looked familiar. “Pardon, but I must be getting somewhere.” Yoongi spun back around but was halted when she gripped the sleeve of his jacket. “Please sir, it’s regarding Mistress Eun.” Yoongi rolled his eyes and proceeded to walk away, Eun was clearly too much of a hassle and he would get rid of her as soon as he could. “Whatever issues you may have with Mistress Eun have nothing to do with me, take it up with her or the king for all I care,” Yoongi grumbled, speeding up trying to get away from the girl but she chased after him. There was something about her that made him nervous.

The girl took off in a sprint and managed to get ahead enough to block him, “Please. Mistress Eun has accused my brother of stealing and he is to stand trial today,” Yoongi tried to push past her but the girl wouldn’t budge. “The prince has already promised his help but if you could just -” No wonder she looked so familiar. Yoongi’s widened eyes cast downward, truly taking in the girl for the first time. Fuck. It was her. Yoongi felt a deep sense of remorse crawling up his throat, it practically choked him as he saw the desperation in the girl’s eyes. “- just get her to drop the charges then the entire trial could be avoided. Please I’ll do anything.” No, it wasn’t because of her picture that she was familiar to him it was her expression. That was the exact same expression his songbird had when Yoongi had first laid eyes on him.

“How many lives will you ruin all to satisfy your needs?!” As many as it took, Min Yoongi was not a good man. He would never be. He’d been raised with a silver spoon in his mouth and the world handed to him on a silver platter like it was his to play with. Yoongi only really took advantage of it when he saw something he wanted and now he’s willing to risk everything to make sure it is forever in his hold. Even the life of the poor girl staring up at him as if he was her last hope.

“I’ll get Mistress Eun to drop the charges. You have my word.” Words are empty. It is actions that truly speak. Yet when Yoongi saw her smile, the way her eyes filled with hope, he realized that he had a lot more in common with Jeon Jungkook than he previously thought.

YN waited among the crowd, her hood up to shield her from the downpour of rain that fell. Person after person had stood trial with whipping, banishment, imprisonment, and other methods of torture being the most common sentence. Death was rarely ruled as most of the cases were light criminal offenses. She thanked the gods, as YN didn’t think she could stomach seeing a man being hanged. Still, she knew some of the people around her begged to differ, they would scream and curse at the men on the wooden stand begging for blood and pain. It was moments like these that reminded her that although the nobility was cruel, sometimes they were no better.

“Kim Hyunshik.”

YN saw as her brother stepped up the stairs and into the stand. His clothes were dirty and full of grime, his lip was cut, and the bottom of his eye had begun to swell. It hadn’t even been forty-eight hours, yet he still looked like he’d been through hell and back. Her heart pounded in her chest as she willed herself to calm down. Hyunshik’s eyes darted all over the crowd and YN knew he was looking for her, yet he would have difficulty finding her in this heavy rain. The guard pulled out a paper, beginning to read the offenses and the verdict. YN held her breath.

“Kim Hyunshik stands accused of thievery, disrespecting a commanding officer, and assault.” The crowd began to spew insults at him, some going as far as spitting. “The court finds the defendant...not guilty.” Oh, thank god. YN almost cries of happiness. Hyunshik seems to visibly relax too, thankful that he wouldn't have to spend the rest of his life behind bars.

“Kim Hyunshik also stands accused of plotting, assaulting a member of the court, and conspiring against the crown.” What? No. The crowd became louder, venom spewing out their mouths towards Hyunshik as YN stood in shock. This can’t be happening. “The court finds the defendant guilty and sentenced him to...death.” No. No. No. No. NO! The crowd goes into a frenzy with jovial shouts as Hyunshik is dragged away to the post by the left of the stage. YN tries to fight against the crowd to make her way to her brother, desperate to reach him. “Hyunshik! Hyunshik!” Her brother looks around panicked, begging for mercy as he is placed on the false bottom and the noose is placed around his neck. It is then that their eyes finally meet, Hyunshik staring straight into YN’s eyes, his mouth moving gently as he stares at her with nothing but affection. ‘I love you.’ He mouths.

The lever is pulled.

#yandere bts #yandere jungkook x reader #yandere bts x reader #yandere jeon jungkook x reader #yandere jeon jungkook #yandere jungkook #bts x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook #prince of nothing #girlmeetsliv3 #bangtanarmynet #prince of nothing masterpost #pon

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hopelikethemoon · 4 years

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Haunted (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Haunted Rating: PG-13 Length: 3700 Warnings: Potential triggers if you have toxic family members and/or family members or loved ones with addiction, emotional abuse, childhood trauma, and allusions to childhood abuse. Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set November 1st 1998. Summary: Reader grapples with her mother.

@grapemama @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes @thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale @roxypeanut @snivellusim @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper @awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano @beskar-droids @space-floozy @cable-kenobi @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @frietiemeloen @arrowswithwifi @random066 @uncomicalhumour @heather-lynn @domino-oh-damn @cyarikaaa @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl @yabby-girl @xqueenofthecraziesx @punkass-potato @coredrive @pascalesque @theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar @sabinemorans @buckstaposition @holkaskrosnou @yespolkadotkitty @fleetwoodmactshirt @seeking-a-great–perhaps

You laid on your side watching as another minute ticked by on the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand beside your bed. For the past two hours, you had watched as the red numbers transformed from 3:00 to 3:30 to 4:00 and finally now 4:43.

You had willed it to stay October 31st just a little bit longer, but against your wishes, it was November 1st.

The Halloween party at Josie’s school had been fun and you had tried to live within that moment for as long as possible.

Josie had been thrilled to win the dumpster diving game, which had been a hilarious sight to witness. Javier had held her by her ankles as she dove into a trash can to find a plastic rat that was tucked into one of the empty boxes near the bottom of the can.

She had found the rat, when none of her classmates had been able to.

Josie’s triumphant grin as she declared herself the Rat Queen had been enough to chase away the anxiety that was now clawing at your stomach.

But then you came home. Monica and Nadia departed for a party downtown. Josie’s braids came out and she traded her Wednesday Addams costume for pajamas and you no longer had anything to occupy your thoughts with.

It felt like a waking nightmare.

Javier has tried to console you. He kept close to you all night, one hand constantly at your waist or your hand or your knee. Like he was trying to keep you grounded. And he did.

But there was only so much he could do to chase away the past, when the past had arrived on your doorstep — unwilling to leave.

It had been a real fear of yours. Even Mitch had reached out to you when the article was syndicated into The Washington Post and The New York Times. Even Good Morning America had rehashed the particulars of the story one Monday morning.

Monica was hiding from her parents, but you had been hiding from your own mother too. And you hadn’t seen her since you were sixteen and desperate to escape.

Before you left for Colombia, you had used your resources to check in on her. Morbid curiosity really. You had forged your own path for yourself, against the odds, and you had wanted to indulge yourself. You had to know if you truly had made the right choice.

And you had. Rebecca was married yet again, settling into her fifth marriage and he had a record a mile long that you hadn’t bothered to comb through. She wasn’t your problem. There was only so far you could carry her on your conscience.

Javier moved behind you, seeking you out beneath the covers as he snaked his arm around your waist, drawing you back against his chest. He sighed heavily, pressing his face into the crook of your neck.

“I can feel your mind racing.” He murmured, brushing his lips against the soft curve of your neck, his breath dancing hotly over your skin.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, curling your hand around his as you sank back against him. “I have too much on my mind.”

Javier ran his hand over your stomach reassuringly, “I know, baby.”

“I should’ve known. The handwriting was on the wall.” You lamented. “She sees success — she sees happiness and she tries to blot it out.”

He lifted his hand, brushing his fingers over your cheek as he tucked your hair behind your ear. “I’ll be with you. I’m not going to let you deal with her alone.”

“When I was like nine, I spent the weekend with my father.” You recalled quietly, “He would’ve loved you.”

“Yeah?”

“I see so much of how he was with me, when you’re with Josie.” You sighed heavily, nestling back against him more. “But he bought me this really cool bike. It had a basket and a bell.” You laughed as you thought back on that weekend. It felt like a lifetime ago. “It wasn’t much, I’m sure but to a kid… it was everything. I took care of that bike like it was a pet. I always kept it upright when I wasn’t riding it, I would stow it in the garage to keep it safe.”

“And what happened?”

“Rebecca backed over it. Swore up and down that I had left it in the driveway behind her car. Which I never would have done.” You sniffed, trying to ignore the prickle of mushed tears. “My dad bought me a new one, but I kept it at his house. I was nine, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew what she had done.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” He ran his hand down your arm, taking hold of your hand and interlacing your fingers. “We’ll get through this today. Together.”

“I don’t know how she found me.”

“I do.” Javier squeezed your hand. “She apparently followed you from the P.D.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

He shook his head. “She’s certainly a piece of work.”

“I don’t want her anywhere near the girls.” You insisted, your voice wavering. “I fought so hard to stay clear of her path. It isn’t fair. She can’t just show up—“

“Shhh.” Javier soothed you, pressing his lips to the spot right behind your ear.

“I just hate this Javi.” You swallowed thickly, rolling onto your back, but keeping yourself close to him. “I thought this year was going to be better. Last year was hell and I felt like I had finally overcome so many of the hang ups that existed because of her.”

He kept his arm wrapped around you, his fingers curled around your waist. “Her showing up doesn’t change any of that.” Javier told you.

“I know that, but…” You shook your head slowly. “And I feel so ungrateful, shouldn't I be happy that I have a mother?”

“No.” Javier kissed your shoulder. “It’s not the same and we both know it, baby. You’ve told me enough about your mother to know she gave up the right of being your mother a long time ago.”

You turned towards him then, resting your forehead against his collarbone. “Thank you for understanding.”

Javier ran his hand up and down the length of your back, “I’m glad you’ve always let me in.”

He had always been the one you told your deepest darkest secrets to. Even back in Colombia, before Josie was even a thought. You spilled your guts to him. You told him everything. Javier was he one person you trusted with your past.

“I love you,” You whispered as you brushed your fingers over his cheek, drawing him in so you could kiss him.

Javier brushed his nose against yours, “I’m here for you no matter what, baby.” He promised, “And if you want me to send her own her way…”

“No, I’ll face her. I owe myself that much.” You sighed, sinking back against the bed, staring up at the dark ceiling above. “What all did she say to you?”

He shrugged, “A few off the cuff remarks.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth, “Apparently I’m not what she pictured for her beloved daughter.”

You snorted, “Trust her to think she knows me.”

“I only took mild offense to it.” He chuckled, running his hand over the length of your side. “It was clear she was trying to get her hooks in.”

“Let me guess…” You rubbed your lips together thoughtfully, pressing closer to Javier like you couldn’t get quite close enough to him. “You’re too old for me?” You reached up and played your fingers through his hair.

“Spot on.” Javier chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to the corner of your lips, sighing quietly. “How old were you?”

“Sixteen.” You answered quietly, tracing your thumb over the rise of his cheekbone. “My dad died—“

“— and you moved to Philadelphia.”

You nodded. “Mitch and the family lawyer helped me sort out emancipation and enrolling in high school there.”

“And you did that. All on your own.” He reminded you, brushing his lips against yours.

“My dad knew what he was doing. If he hadn’t left me the money, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

“You would’ve persevered, baby. Have you met you?”

“Or I’d be as strung out as she is.” You turned towards him once more, pressing close to him. You ran your hand from his shoulder down his arm and back again. “Is it bad that I don’t care? I know I should be more empathetic but all I feel is… apathy. I’ve been here before.”

“You’re allowed to feel however you feel, baby. I’m not going to judge you.” He kissed the top of your head. “Especially if you’ve seen this happen before.”

“She gets clean long enough to catch someone new to facilitate her habits.” You hummed softly as Javier laid back and pulled you down with him. He wrapped both arms around you, like he was trying to keep you from getting carried away by your memories. “I don’t want the girls caught in the middle of this. And that means Monica and Nadia too.”

“I know,” He ran his hand down your back, “It’s just going to be the three of us. I’ll make sure she leaves. If she shows up again, I’m not against calling the cops on her.”

You let out a heavy sigh as you let yourself relax against his chest, “I just want this over with.”

——

“This is a lovely backyard,” Rebecca offered hesitantly as she gestured around the space. “Will I be welcomed into your humble abode? I’m just dying to see where my daughter lives.”

Your brows rose upwards in surprise.

“I did say we’d meet in the backyard.” Javier interjected, reaching out to rest his hand on your shoulder reassuringly.

“Yes, but that was your decision. My little girl can make her own choices, can’t you sweetheart?”

“If I were making my own choices, you wouldn’t be here right now.” You gritted, “Javier was kind enough to extend my grace than I was willing to.”

Your mother seemed surprised by your response, “I’m trying to make amends for the past. Can’t you see that? How can you deny me the right to see my grandbabies?”

You scoffed, “You have no rights. None. You gave up any chance to have a part in my life when I was very young.”

“Oh, don’t say that.” Rebecca turned her attention to Javier then. “She’s convinced you I’m some monster, hasn’t she? She was such a little trouble maker, what was I supposed to do? Let her run free?” She rocked back in her seat, looking away then.

“That doesn’t sound like amends,” Javier pointed out.

“Javier,” You shook your head, reaching over to rest your hand on his knee. He was more than willing to fight this battle for you, but you could handle it.

He nodded, resting his hand over yours. Your mother’s gaze flickered towards your hands.

“You don’t have a ring.”

“Why would I?” You questioned, suppressing the urge to scream that you were married to the man you loved despite everything in your past that told you to run from allusions of commitment.

“Two little girls out of wedlock?” Rebecca tsked, shaking her head as she set her sights on you. “I could’ve told he was bad news. Just look at him.”

You felt fire roar through your veins as you pitched forward in your chair, “You don’t get to say one bad word about Javier. If there’s bad news here, it’s you mother.”

She feigned injury at your words, “All I ever tried to do was protect you. But everyone else tried to lead you astray. They tried to take you away from me.”

You laughed, the sound coming out almost maniacal. “Who? Dad? God, I wish he had.” You squeezed Javier’s leg, like you were trying to ground yourself in your reality.

“He filled your head with so many lies about me.” She jeered a finger at you, “He was a rotten man. Always trying to drag me into court. Trying to paint a picture that was all wrong.”

“Oh, right. Yeah.” You shook your head. “I guess you probably thought Uldi was a better father, right? Nothing says step-dad quiet like throwing beer on a ten-year-old.”

“Well, he never tried to take you away from me!”

“He was a drug dealer, mom!” You snapped, your voice cracking as you glared at her. “And the fact that I knew that — at ten — speaks volumes. How many people were in and out of our house? All hours of the day.” You looked away then. “Dad never used. I don’t know how you ever ended up with him.”

“Chuck had money.” Rebecca answered, though she seemed like she regretted it the second she said it.

“Is that why you’re here now?”

“What?”

“Money.” You pressed, narrowing your eyes as you focused on her once more. “I bet you saw the article in the paper — figured I was doing well for myself and you thought… there’s a money tree I haven’t tapped yet.”

“No. No!” She held up her hands in defense. “I didn’t think that. I only meant to come here to see my grandbabies. I had to find you again, sweetheart. I missed you.”

“You followed her from her job,” Javier reminded her, his voice tinged with a venom you weren’t sure you had heard since Colombia. “That’s not the correct way to find someone you claim to care about.”

“What would you know?” Rebecca gritted out. “I read the articles. You’re no saint.”

“Never once said I was.” Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth. He released his hold on your hand and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “I do know one thing, you had to read an article to know jackshit about your daughter’s life, while I was right there beside her for all of it. So maybe you should fucking listen.”

“Did you hear how he just spoke to me?” Rebecca questioned, looking to you then. “Are you going to let him sit there and disrespect me?”

You shrugged, “Are you going to sit there and pull crocodile tears? I remember they worked so well for you in court.”

“I’m clean now, sweetie!” Her voice cracked. “Quit dredging up the past.”

“I wish it were that easy,” You retorted, “I wish there were some magic switch that shut off the past. Because the past gets ‘dredged’ up all the time for me.” You dragged your fingers through your hair as you exhaled slowly. “I’ve almost let the best parts of my life slip out of my hold because of you. Because you managed to fuck up sixteen years of my life and twenty-odd years removed hasn’t fixed me.”

“That’s not my fault!” Rebecca snapped, her voice edging towards hysterics. “If you weren’t such an ungrateful little brat, things would’ve been good. But every time things didn’t go your way, you went running and crying to your daddy. Treating him like some white knight, sweeping in to save the day.”

“Fuck you.” You growled out.

“It’s the truth, sweetheart. Life’s not easy. And you made mine hell every time you made up some outlandish claim about me so you could spend more time with Chuck. What did he have that I didn’t have? You would’ve come running back to me the second you didn’t get what you wanted.”

“This might come as a shock to you, but all I wanted was to feel safe. It’s not normal for a five-year-old to sleep with a chair in front of her door! And I did that. Parents should be chasing the monsters of their child’s closets, not opening the door and letting them in.”

“You were always safe!”

“I saw a man OD when I was thirteen.” Your fingers curled into fists on against the tops of your legs. “I think my favorite part of dad’s place was that I had a bed. A proper bed. You know, something other than a box spring.”

Javier’s head snapped to look at you, his brows furrowed together as he searched your face. Apparently, you hadn’t gotten into these particulars before.

“You think you could do better?”

“I mean I know I can.” You laughed bitterly. “Against all odds I’ve managed to raise two beautiful little girls. Despite constantly worrying that I was going to turn out like you.”

Rebecca switched tactic then, right on schedule. “And I’m so proud of you sweetheart. You’ve done so well for yourself.”

“I have.”

“I’ll admit,” She started. “I was disappointed to read about what sort of man you ended up with.” She gave Javier a look askance. “He’s so much older than you.”

“Mother, it’s only nine years.”

“Who do the girls look like?”

You rolled your eyes, scratching at your forehead. “We’re not having this conversation. Actually, I think we’re done.”

“Twenty-two years apart and this is how you treat me? You’re still that same ungrateful little bitch—“

“That’s enough!” Javier was quick to his feet. “You’re leaving, now.”

“Who do you think you are?” Rebecca questioned, rising to her feet like she expected to square off with Javier.

“The person who has been there for her.” Javier gritted out. “Look, I don’t know if you came here with good intentions or not, but you’ve crossed a line. Multiple lines. If I catch you following her again or anywhere near our house — I won’t need to call the cops.”

You hadn’t seen this side of Javier in a long time.

“Are you threatening me?” Rebecca actually cowered, trying to play into your sympathy. “Is this the kind of man you let near your daughters?”

“Get off my property.” You said flatly. “I don’t want you here or in my life.”

“You’re breaking my heart! You’ve never cared about me.” She cried, “I hope you never know what it’s like to have your daughter turn her back on you! To treat you like a monster.”

“You were a monster, mother!” You snapped, coming entirely unhinged. “It is a goddamn miracle that I know how to have any semblance of a happy relationship. I have been with Javier for ten years!”

It didn’t matter that only half of that was an actual relationship — it was all the same to you. He was a constant fixture.

“How long did your marriages last? Ten months? This is what? Seven? Eight?” You let out an incredulous sound, “I bet you have two pages in the record books. You need to figure out how to be okay with being alone, mother. Because no one is going to be there for you.”

“You would just send your mother away? I raised you for sixteen years and this is how you repay me? You owe me for everything I did for you. I fed you, I clothed you, I cared for you. What did your daddy ever do for you, aside from die and facilitate you stabbing me in the back one more time?” Rebecca sneered at you. “You deserve all the shit you went through. That’s payback for hurting me. All I ever did was love you.”

You took a step back. “I’m going to count to ten and I want you off my property.”

“I’m just going to kill myself,” Rebecca threatened. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? You won’t rest until I’m six feet under! Denying me my right to see my grandbabies. My flesh and blood.”

“They are my children, Rebecca. And their grandmother is dead.” You set your teeth together hard enough that your jaw ached. “You have no power over me, my family, or my future. I don’t want anything from you. I simply don’t care.”

“I’m going to call the cops,” Javier threatened, giving you a wary look.

“I’ll leave.” Rebecca said frantically. “I’ll go. Since I’m nothing to you!” She pointed at you. “I come here to make amends and this—“

“You came to make excuses.” You fumed. “You’re fucking psycho, mother! Get help. Get real help.”

“Won’t you help me?”

“No.” You turned away then. “Javier can you escort her to her car?”

“Yeah,” He nodded stiffly, brushing his hand over your back as he walked past, “You’re leaving now.”

“I’m going!” Rebecca pronounced dramatically. “Since my daughter would sooner see me dead!”

You sank back down in your set, staring at the empty one across from you. She was still ranting as Javier escorted her out of the yard, but you stopped listening.

She hadn’t changed. You had stupidly hoped, deep down, that maybe she was clean. That maybe she had changed. But she was still the same unhinged abuser that ruined your childhood.

How you managed to share DNA with her, made you wonder. Though, you knew you had traits that came from her.

You used to use people. One night stands to make you feel wanted. Lance to fill a void you didn’t know how to fill.

But it wasn’t like that with Javier. He made you want to be a better person — to love and love and be happy. To overcome everything that should’ve held you back.

“She’s gone.” Javier’s hands rested on your shoulders as he leaned over the back of the car. “I told her if she came near our house again I would call the cops.”

“Thank you.”

“No gratitude necessary, baby.” He assured you, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “She’s… certainly something.”

“She’s a train wreck.” You sighed, shaking your head as you chewed on your bottom lip.

“People like that… they’ll say anything to get a reaction.”

“Yeah.” You looked down at your hands. “I’m not like her, am I?”

“Baby.”

“I know. I know. I just… that is my worst nightmare. Well, losing you or the girls… this — Rebecca — is a close second.”

“Night and day.” Javier petted his hand over your head. “You’re not your mother, baby.”

“Good.” Smiled weakly. “I think I’m going to go back to bed. Today sucked.” You peeled yourself out of your chair. “Wanna join me?”

He smiled adoringly at you before he nodded. “Whatever you want.”

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader

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