#where i literally just made a joke comment about the meme and a bunch of dudes decided to jump on me for being a furryvand trans

[jonny-b-meowborn]

I try not to engage in any arguments on instagram because no matter what's the discussion about, I have a furry pfp and pronouns in my bio so it would always eventually just turn into people bullying me or being straight up transphobic and/or ableist. And honestly it's gotta be good for my mental health, not arguing with people online, me being openly a furry prevents me from getting into pointless arguments 👍

[cut-content-contest]

Security Breach

They're mostly finished levels of the monty golf mini game that were likely cut due to security breach being rushed

Unused animations for the Moon character roaming in non-preset locations. Parts of the map organically connecting to each other in underground tunnels (which in-game dialogue still hints towards). An entire version of the bowling alley where you could actually bowl. Dozens of lines of dialogue. Extras menu. Survival mode. The second half of the mini golf minigame. Chica's Feeding Frenzy arcade game. Go kart boss battle. Vanessa being a good guy and maybe even playable. For Pete's sake, BOTH of the main villains of the game were meant to have actual screentime. I just skipped a BUNCH of stuff, but I think you get the gist.

showing a bunch of the scrapped content: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqRU15lr1ng

coconut

There was a meme going around of "the coconut that if you delete it destroys TF2" but actually it's just a replacement for coffee beans in a taunt that was never released.

Okay ok ok SO. the TF2 coconut jpeg has such an interesting history. coconut.vtf, or coconut jpg file, is an unused image of a coconut found under a texture file in the game. you have to actually convert the file type to view it, but sure enough it's literally just a jpg of a coconut. here's where things get interesting. someone found the file after it was added in a 2014 update and posted it on reddit. From that post, someone made a joke comment saying "I have no fucking idea who put this here, but when I deleted it the game wouldn’t start. Words cannot describe my fucking confusion", which was then missatributed to be an actual comment from a developer at valve. This snowballed into many people actually believing to this day that this coconut file crashes tf2 if deleted. The coconut does not actually hold the game together, and of the 4 files you need to run tf2 it is not one of them. you can delete it at anytime with no issue. in reality it was an effect for an unused taunt that never got implemented into the game. but it's history of misinformation is so interesting to me. btw one of the file you ACTUALLY need to run tf2 is the 2fort cow, which isn't cut content I just think that's fun.

talking about the misconception: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLx_3bON0Mw

[anothersebastianblog]

And if everyone does the work they are supposed to, maybe that bridge can be mended in the future. / Sebastian needs to work on himself as well, not just the fans. Not all criticism he received was invalid and not everything was presented in a hate form. In fact, most of the hate actually comes from the people who’ve despised him for years. His fans are too afraid to even say anything and that’s why his pedo likes pretty much went under the radar. He wasn’t well known at the time and besides a few comments here and there, his fans let it slide. Even in the last years, his fans remained publicly silent on all the shit he and people he chose to associate himself with did, instead opting for letting it all out in private. They are too afraid to say anything, living in fear of losing him/his online presence forever, because they know that even the valid criticism expressed in a polite manner (the way it happened with Ale in the beginning) by fans won’t go over well with him. He doesn’t see anything wrong with anything he or his associates do or say. It’s genius the way he was able to pull the victim card that now even if something actually valid is said, it gets treated like hate and a bunch of crying fans start screaming “that’s why he left us! if you don’t stop he won’t come back!”. I know he’s gotten a lot of actual unfair shit (not by his actual fans tho), but amongst all the shit there were important issues that got brought up but got dismissed in the process. He should learn to separate these things. He’s not the only celebrity to get under fire for something they did or said. He needs to learn to own his mistakes and set boundaries with his acknowledgment. I don’t think he wants to even try to do that, so it’s probably best that he quit the app. /

not all criticism was hate but the loudest was pure hate. what HE saw was hate and more hate and more hate. people using the "calling him out" shit as an umbrella to be hateful. the very first person who discovered Alejandra's CA, didn't go to Alejandra's page to tell HER about it, the decided to go to Sebastian's post and make a mess out of it. I remember that person so perfectly, Angela 😒, their intentions has never been to educate others or whatever, it's always been getting people to hate him. period. "his pedo likes" one you mean... it was one. and no, people called him out back then just like they do every year, the same thing every single year and in 2017/2018 it was pretty much every month. "things he and people he chooses to associate with did" lol, it sounds like they all committed a crime, be serious 🤨. you're lying if you think people were polite at the beginning of the ale thing. I literally spoke with that Angela girl, the one who started it all, and told her to be nice about it and to tell to Alejandra mainly, Sebastian never had to answer for her. would you answer for something someone you know did before you met them? no, you wouldn't. nobody would, the fuck. I don't think he pulled the victim card. may i remind you he was doxxed? no, I don't care if some/few people knew about it before that, the day that happened many of us found out where he lived. there were people outside his apartment taking pictures with the fucking door 💀. His friends, his poc friends, were harassed non-stop, they were tagging the people he works with hoping he'd be fired from his projects. do not pretend he wasn't a victim of harassment. and yes, it is best he quit the app, so so many of you stop being annoying

Just using this to also reply to all the questions about the “pedo likes”: he liked a fan made memes about jeff’s moustache (i tonya) and some of them were pedo jokes. It wasn’t a good look at all but it was clearly just bad taste, of course no one is implying something more. He was called out and at times now this episode resurfaces.

I am sure if that happened in more recent times (2020>) he would have been eaten alive

[neverendingstories00]

you guessed it...another round (unfortunately) of BoB headcanons in the middle of the night because sleep is for the weak but I am weak

Luz has...a unique sense of style. We’re talking clashing patterns, neon crocs with jibbits, sunglasses and fedoras, you name it. Urban Outfitters who? He was wearing it before it was trendy🙄✋🏽 GET on his level. A wonderful example of his fashion sense is the time the company had weekend passes (modern au) and he decided to wear his best outfit; a white shirt with an horribly outdated meme, cargo shorts with a chain, nike socks, and neon crocs. To top it off; a fedora and sports sunglasses with a purple tint. Yeah, it’s BAD.

To add to the Luz and his horrible fashion sense, do any of you remember icarly and the penny tee’s saying stuff like “my cheese my rules” and “fries matter?” HE OWNS A WHOLE DAMN CLOSET OF THEM

I can see Speirs LOVING Lana Del Rey. He has a secret Spotify and has a whole playlist of his favourite songs by her. Actually not just Lana Del Rey, all the sad girls like Lorde and Mitski. If you catch Speirs singing in a velvet robe to Millon Dollar Man, no you didn’t. You would be dead by then.

Speaking of music tastes, let’s move onto Lewis Nixon. First of all, brace yourself. Lewis Nixon has reverted back into his college phase (like he ever grew out of it). He’s a huge fan of Alternative eighties rock like The Smiths, The Pyscadelic Furs, Talking Heads, The Cure, etc. He has all his old vinyls and it’s a cool collection. However, Nixon hates Morrisey, which is good. He complains about the Smiths, with The Queen Is Dead blasting in the back.

Speirs kidnapped Carwood Lipton one time. Carwood works as an English teacher and Speirs is his boyfriend who works as a real estate agent meets ex mafia hitman but he doesn’t talk about it. Speris one day was like “we’re going camping” and took Carwood...camping. But like the thing is...Carwood told NO ONE. And plus he had a job to teach so yeah. Let’s just say that Carwood might’ve been a missing person’s case for like two weeks. But he kept posting on his Facebook like “what a lovely hike with my lovely boyfriend😍” or “look at our rv? isn’t she something🥰” and George Luz would comment and be like “BLINK TWICE IF YOU NEED HELP WHERE RU”

Eugene wanted Babe to start eating healthier, so he took him to Trader Joe’s and made him buy a bunch of healthy snacks because in case you have forgotten, Babe is a literal baby. So Babe picks out a bunch of snacks but doesn’t realize it’s baby food, nor does Eugene. So Babe is casually munching on little yogurt bites and Guarno is like “Franny feeds that to our baby what the fuck” and Babe spits them out, mortified.

Floyd Talbert was apart of the dance team in middle. Like, he was the only guy on the team so it was insanely akwared. I can imagine him having a solo for “Womanizer” but getting kicked off the stage bc he started full on strip dancing in a glittery fedora in front of his prince pal. High school Floyd is an absolute nightmare.

Joe Liebgott eats Hershey Bars, Meat, and monster energy drinks only. No wonder he’s skinny. He’s such a picky eater, it’s horrible. Like he also loves weird food combos, like cheese and Oreos. Which is nasty.

Dick Winters LOVES Water Skiing. I’m not joking, it’s his favourite hobby. Catch your daddy Quaker in a pair of tight speedo shorts and Nixon’s aviators, gliding across the water.

HARRY!! How could I forget. I can see his man owning a bunch of cat’s and calling them “sweetie”, “honey”, “sugar”, and a bunch of cutesy names. All of the name’s were kitty’s idea. Speaking of Kitty, I can see her being a big girl, like height and weight. Harry worships her and calls her “my big beautiful Amazon” and Nixon thinks it’s weird BUT IT’S CUTE

Johnny Martin has a secret Twitter account that nobody is allowed to see. Instead of typing like a normal person, he smashes the keyboard. Nobody knows what he’s saying except for Bull. It’s very concerning.

For Halloween, the mortar trio have really strange costumes. One year, they were a rollercoaster. Other years they were the three musketeers, Alvin and the chipmunks, and the powderpuff girls. There costumes are genuinely terrifying to look at. Did I mention there the sexy versions as well? There worse costume was sexy rock, paper, and scissors. Mega yikes.

[grxceblqckthxrn]

TDA characters as types of tiktokers

y’all KNOW i’m bored when i’m doing this shit lmao 

i’ll get around to doing the other TSC characters eventually TDA was just the first to come to mind also if you’re not actively on tiktok some of what i say might not make sense ahaha

also i named some tiktokers who yall can use for reference for some of them and from what i’ve seen they’re all fairly unproblematic so you should check them out!!

EMMA CARSTAIRS

okay so she’s DEFINITELY super popular and she uses her platform for good

she’s really funny and a lot of her audios go viral posts videos of her dancing saying that she cant dance but she’s actually really good at it

6M followers and growing fast 

 hypes up her boyfriend’s account ALL the time

calls out misogynistic/racist tiktokers through duets and KEEPS THEIR TAG IN THE CAPTION  

 she is not afraid of starting drama lmao

occasionally hops on POV and transition trends but its usually satire 

emma can’t act for shit lmao 

super active on tiktok and has a spam account

people are always asking her to drop the skin care routine but she doesn’t have one?? 

*pushes Zara down* “and no one’s gonna help her?? WOW some world we live in”

JULIAN BLACKTHORN

there’s no way he doesnt  have an art account lmao

a lot of his paintings go viral but 90% of his comments are 14 year old girls thirsting over him

yall know that pottery guy on tiktok?? the cute one?? (i searched up his account just for this post he’s @/daxnewman769) that’s the best way to describe him

literally all the famous tiktokers commission him

probably has like 4M followers lmao

will occasionally make about how respecting women doesn’t make you a “simp”

doesn’t get into tiktok drama tho

posts candid videos of emma and all his jealous 14 year old fans get so pressed but he shuts down anyone who says anything bad about her

sometimes does painting or drawing tutorials and he’s really good at teaching stuff lmao

CRISTINA ROSALES

omg okay so like yall know those really pretty girls on tiktok who are literal models and are always dropping tips on how to frame your face for pictures and best clothes and poses and whatever  ( @/ameliezilber is the first person that came to mind as an example)

thats her

alot of her content is just for the aesthetic

BLING EFFECT

GRWM’s all the time

10 step skin care routine 

GOOD VIBES

has a pretty decent following?? like at least 2 million

has a spam but it’s exactly the same as her main lol

also calls out problematic tiktokers but not by name

her entire account is full of body positivity and does a bunch of stuff on loving yourself

sometimes does POVs and all the comments are like “@ netflix hire her rn”

sometimes posts crack videos with emma and cute vids with mark and kieran

MARK BLACKTHORN

does a lot of reaction videos and duets

a lot of his videos go viral but he doesn’t have a huge following like maybe 800k

 everyone still knows him

gets at least twenty “are you wearing only one contact” comment about his eyes every post

he’s really funny without even realizing it 

sometimes goes inactive for weeks at a time and just forgets that tiktok exists lmao

shows off kieran and cristina ALL THE MF TIME AND EVERYONE IS SO JEALOUS LIKE HOW ARE ALL OF THEM HOT

KIERAN 

doesnt have a tiktok lmao sorry

but shows up so much on mark’s and cristina’s that a lot of people know who he is

DIANA WRAYBURN

unironically does POVs but is actually good at them??

lots of videos talking about the struggles of minorities like LGBTQ+ and POC and women

posts a lot of those vidoes that are like “what to do if you ever get kidnapped” “red flags in relationships” “most powerful parts of the body” etc

probably has like 500k followers 

at the end of the day she doesn’t really use tiktok that much tho ahaha

LIVVY BLACKTHORN:

does a little bit of everything??

posts dance videos sometimes 

omg her transitions are SO good

everyone is in love with her and she has to remind them that she’s a minor (i’m just a kid plays aggressively in the background)

posts videos that are just vibes?? like her skating at night, dancing in traffic with dru/her friends, walking through the city at night etc

lots of lip syncing videos to whatever sounds are popular and all her comments are like “i wish i looked like this” “guess im not eating today” and she gets so upset :((

she wants everyone to know that they’re perfect the way they are!!

also posts POVs sometimes and she’s not that bad at them ahaha 

probably has like 1 million followers 

doesn’t even need a spam just posts everything on her main 

shouts out her sibilings accounts all the time

overall just great energy

TY BLACKTHORN

never posts his face on his main but he does on his spam

yall know those accounts that post fun facts or psychology facts?? his is like that except he talks to explain them and everyone finds his voice SO calming 

he posts a lot of content of animals and everyone is in AWE with how good he is with them

his username is probably theanimalwhisperer or something djkfskjd

every single time he posts Kit on his account all the comments are like “OOH ICU” and “SHIP” and “ASK HIM OUT ALREADY”

he gives 0 shits about popularity on tiktok he’s just posting for fun because he likes teaching people about his interests

so he has like maybe 500k followers

lots of philosophical questions that has everyone questioning their existence

ugh i love him

KIT HERONDALE

be honest this is what y’all were waiting for 

yall know those unproblematic ppl that everyone refers to as the “king(s) of tiktok”???

yeah thats him

SO FUNNY

LIKE HIS CONTENT IS GENUINELY HILARIOUS

lots of sarcasm and satire

think @/adamkindacool  ?? (one of my favourite tiktokers lmao)

does reaction videos for those “pov: im the annoying hot cheeto girl sitting next to you in math class” videos

dark humor (not like rude humor but actual dark humor)

like “i put the baby in the oven and the pizza in the bed” type of jokes back when those were a thing

has like 4M followers but almost every single one of his posts go viral so he’s gaining fast

lots of pranks

starts a bunch of trends

any video he posts of Mina goes viral

sometimes he posts some really weird stuff that has everyone laughing so hard irl (@/benoftheweek)

he NEVER thirst traps but still gets a lot of those weird sexual fairy comments on his posts (iykyk)

TO BE CLEAR I MEAN THE FAIRY EMOJI ONES NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM BEING FAE 

reacts to the comments with a video of him just staring at the screen with the “oh to see without my eyes” or “im just sixteen” audio going on in the background which only encourages them to make more weird comments

anyways everyone loves him

any of his povs are pure jokes meant to make fun of pov’ers

posts maybe one serious tiktok every 5 months that talks about being respectful and using your platform for good

“i miss old tiktok”

posts a lot of random videos of Ty where, again, all the comments are shipping them except even more so on his account because everyone can see his heart eyes for Ty

collabs with Dru a lot and does a bunch of duets of her videos

everyone loves him bye

DRU BLACKTHORN

SO many memes

she deletes any hate in her comments bc she honestly doesnt care to respond to them and doesn’t need that kind of negativity in her life

but one time she got a “the f in women stands for funny” comment and she WENT OFF

does really dark povs sometimes that are really interesting

CLOWN MAKEUP + SCARY CLOWN TIKTOKS ( think @/avani ‘s clown make up posts

REALLY good at makeup and sometimes gets julian to do scary makeup on her for tiktoks and povs (like those ones with stitches over the mouth or skin peeling off)

huge ally!! posts a lot about minorities struggles and white privilege, and acknowledges hers

does movie reviews and stuff sometimes

“types of” videos

pulls a lot of pranks on her sibilings with livvy and sometimes with Kit

lots of body positivity + self love

calls out back-handed compliments

also has a lot of content like Livvy’s of just vibing in LA

julian and emma and mark go off at anyone who sexualize her in the comments

probably has like 650k followers

posts a couple of times a week

BONUS: 

JAIME ROSALES

lots of skateboarding videos idk he just gives me that vibe

doesn’t post that often but is super popular

like maybe 1.5M followers

really passionate about systematic racism

HATES all those privileged white boys using the “this is america” audio to pretend they’re oppressed ( this is a may 2020 thing so it probably wont make sense to anyone who sees this after lmao)

POSTS A LOT OF THIRST TRAPS LMAO 

also posts lots of videos that’s just him yelling about stuff but they’re really entertaining to watch ( like that guy sebastian @/sauceyogranny)

everyone thinks he’s super hot he always shows up in those “hottest boys on tiktok” videos except sometimes he’s just the token POC boy and it makes him mad :( 

DIEGO ROSALES

HIS ACCOUNT IS SO PRACTICAL LMAO

lots of tips 

“what to do if you’re trapped in the desert” “what to do if you’re kidnapped and stuck in the trunk”

doesnt reply to comments EVER unless it’s to clarify a point he made in the video or answer a question

has like 200k

okay thats it lmao im done bye this took me like an hour to make

i’ll get to all the other characters from the other series’ eventually 

also if yall are wondering abt the lack of f*ckbois in this post they’re coming dw

TMI CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TID CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS 

TLH CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

[amythecinnabunny]

Space AU and Time Travel for Juke 👀 <33

Holy shit holy shit holy shit ok ok ok ok first of all AKDBJSJSJJEJE YES

Okay okay so let me try to iron out the mess in my head skxbjsjjd I hereby apologize if things get out of order or whatever but I am literally vibrating with excitement someone please write this I'll love you forever

Ok so I'm thinking also an aged up au for ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* reasons *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ sjsnnsn

Also, I've done this before and I'm gonna do it again, but Bobby and Trevor are two different people for the sake of the timeline here.

Time frame for this would be WAY into the future. Humanity has gone galactic. We also had our asses handed to us by several alien planets but we probably deserved it. Anyway, after we got rid of Elon Musk, we eventually made peace with the aliens and now roam the galaxy freely. 20-30yo generally try to get into a different fleet, just to learn about other races. Think all those alien ships adopts a human posts.

Julie, Carrie and Flynn are my three girl geniuses. They're like,,, the smartest people in every room. They've been like this since freshman year of college. Julie, Carrie and Flynn also all want to get into the student exchange program, which is exactly what you think it is. Alien races (and this now includes humanity) swaps out older students with each other so they get a feel of what the other race is like. It's fun, educational, and! You get to make super long distance pen pals!

I'd also have so much fun making up new memes???? It would be so fucking stupid tho but I love it.

Anyway, so after a few years of jumping through the exchange programme, hoping from planet to planet, unfortunately, without their bestfriends :<, the three of them qualify to board research ships!!!

So at like 23-25, my girls come back together on the same ship!! Its a massive thing and so they've hired so many interns from so many different races. It's like a landing hub for several smaller ships. They have like 10 interns per species and that's only because there are laws against having too many of one kind after they put 50 humans on a space station and the humans tried to take over. Also, humans multiply faster than the others. This terrifies some races.

Anyway, the ship's really just a bunch of college kids from different planets trying to avoid exam season by submitting research papers from their ship. They all bond over deadlines, breakups and coffee (or the alien equivalent thereof)

Flynn dated an alien girl for a while. They were cute. Flynn: as a lesbian, it's my duty to date all the women in space

This is also where they run into Willie!!! Yay, Willie!!!

Nick Danforth-Evans and Kayla Evans-McKessie are around ... somewhere ... in bunk beds like the little toddlers they wish they were, crying about the 15 page essay on why Xjsbsjdjd is a very intelligent race that we could learn a lot from (yes, that is a keysmash I'm too buzzed to be creating alien species names sjdjjdjd)

Carrie and Nick do date for a while but then Carrie hooked up with Kayla. Bisexual queen who?

Julie met Willie that time she didn't sleep for over 48 hours because she had a research paper due within a week and she hadn't started yet and it was 10 000 words on her experiences with the Psjxjjdkeiwj race. Luckily for her, the kid she bumped into and spilled an energy drink all over had the same paper and helped her finish it. Willie sometimes goes by the nickname Lifesaver, thanks to Julie. This confuses the metaphor-less people because Willie's never saved anyone's life?? So why is he a lifesaver??

ANYWAY ON TO THE TIME TRAVEL BIT

On their own, Julie, Carrie and Flynn are professional smart people who know what they're saying and are clever enough not to do things with too many risks. In the same room, however, they turn into dumb geniuses who can and possibly may blow up the entire ship. It's a good thing they have Willie, Nick and Kayla to babysit them, right? WRONG. Willie Kayla and Nick egg them on.

They decide there going to gather all the information there is on time travel and they're going to decipher it and make it work! Yay!

When they find stuff in alien languages they start calling up their alien pen pals "hello what's this word mean in this context? What, haha oh no, it's a research paper on why time travel projects were abandoned before completion. Okay, thank you!"

Before long, they have a working time machine. I mean,, they hope so. And so they enter a random date from the past and prepare to pop their heads through just to see what the world looked like approximately 200ish years ago

2020s, post covid because that exists for joke reasons later, Sunset Curve is performing live for one of their biggest audiences yet when mid-song, the floor just opens them up and swallows them whole before vanishing. The crowd things it's a stunt but Sunset Curve's managers are flipping their shit

Back on the ship, the machine starts sparking and with a soft boom and a hiss, the power in that quadrant goes out -- not before Willie's is pelted in the face with a pair of drumsticks and then a whole person.

It's a miracle the drums survived the trip, pet alone everything else.

So now these sleep deprived geniuses and co. have to hide three people and several musical artifacts, plus the smoking remains of a time machine, from their Supervising Officer, who is regrettably, a human too.

And none of them are very good at lying.

Luke and Bobby are though, and after piecing together bits and pieces from the frenzied rambling around them, Luke and Bobby save the group.

Shenanigans ensue as they try to rebuild the time machine under the watchful eye of the SO, while trying to mantainbfake credentials for the boys and trying to explain their very dated clothing. (Yes, Sunset Curve STILL rocks the 90s vibe. In the 2020s. It's their thing.)

Willex happens in the background -- and I mean that very literally. (Jukebox having a tension moment, Willex making out in the background.)

Honestly I'm not sure yet how theyd solve the problems, whether they'd send the boys back or not or what, but I do know that they will all cause a BUNCH of problems in between.

Sometimes they play music just because they still can. Sunset Curve becomes a house band for the ship. They get broadcasted to neighbouring or passing ships like "hey, losers, we have live music, SUCK IT!"

Focusing on the jukebox aspect of this whole fic, that's gonna be a fucking hilarious slow burn.

It will definitely contain the lines "Oh my god, I have a crush on Julie." "Congratulations, you're officially the last to know." "What? Even [SO's Name] knows??" "Dude. The ship's navigation crew knows." "Does ... Julie know?" "No, you're both morons."

Julie is having the exact same conversation four hallways away.

They'd talk a lot about sending the boys back home and it'd be really quiet conversations when everyone else is asleep.

Julie and Luke write music together and after a while, Julie performs a few of them too. Thanks to the concerts, they meet the other human interns that were on the other end of the ship and Carrie and Kayla form Dirty Candy.

The ship becomes known as the party bus.

A thing that will happen: Luke helps Julie write one of her history papers that she gets an A+ for and a comment about how dedicated she was to have delved so far back in the history records to get authentic insight.

Julie and Luke speak in memes but they don't speak the same memes and it drives them both up the wall.

Luke says yeet one day and Julie's soul leaves her body because she hasn't heard anyone say yeet since she was a toddler back on Earth.

Julie: odd display, but acceptable.

Luke, physically experiencing a record scratch: what the fuck did you just say

That is all I have to offer because I'm afraid of plotting further and causing angst somehow.

oh one more thing, someone gets to bang an alien and it's probably Flynn.

Oh oh oh another one more thing. Reggie says "this is just like in Star Wars" for literally anything. The band goes along with it for shits and giggles. The rest of them are very interested in this ancient tale called Star Wars. Reggie sees a picture of Flynn and her green gf and says "hey, you dated photoshopped Yoda" and Bobby just loses his shit.

[nad-zeta]

Hii! How would Nobunaga, Masumi, Sasuke, and Kenshin react to an Mc or s/o who lost her right eye in a fight??

Hi, there love! Hope you are doing well <3. Here is ya HC love hope you enjoy it dear ^o^❤🔥

Content warning: Violence 🐇😱

Headcanon: MC losing an eye in fight feat; Nobunaga, Masamune, Sasuke, and Kesnsin

Nobunaga

You and Nobunaga had been working so hard lately and needed to take a bit of a break and get away from all the busy castle 

One night as the two of you were drinking sake and snuggling on the balcony of your shared room, Haguro came swooping down and landed gracefully on the ground next to the two of you  ∩(·ω·)∩

“Seems he too needs a break, perhaps we should go on a falconing trip tomorrow, just the three of us.”  

You smile an excited smile up at Nobunaga, even Haguro screeched in agreement and excitement  (/◕ヮ◕)/

The two of you were off on your adventure to your favourite falconing spot

The two of you were having the best time hunting little mice in the field with Haguro

When all of a sudden a bunch of bandits appeared from the tree line  (・.・;)

Nobunaga fought to protect both of you, he tied up the bandits and just as the two of you just started celebrating your victory over them  

（ ^_^）o自自o（^_^ ）

One of the bandits shone a light in your eye, attracting his own falcon to attack you.  (l'o'l)

Nobunaga killed the bird but not soon enough, as you had lost your eye in the attack. 

Nobu just saw red, he swiftly killed the bandit’s friends, and sent the man who called upon the bird to injure his beloved, to be locked up and tortured by Mitsuhide.  (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Nobunaga pulled out his clean hand towel and held it over your eye, he then picked you up and placed you on the horse racing the two of you back to Azuchi

He took you straight to Ieyasu to evaluate the damage

He paced outside Ieyasus room, Hideyoshi was there trying to calm him down.  (-"-)

Even Mitsuhide came to see how you were doing informing his lord that he will torture the man so badly that he would pray for death for harming their beloved princess

Ieyasu signalled Nobu inside and left the room to give the two of you a moment

He had sewn up the hole where your eye had been, Nobunaga sat beside you and gently caressed your face  ༼☯﹏☯༽

You had never seen the man cry until today, “hey hey hey what’s with the tears, I’m the one with one less eye, you don’t see me crying, do you.”  

(`･ω･´)

“But fireball it’s my fault…”, you gave him a passionate kiss to shut him up ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nothing changed for Nobunaga, he still saw you as the most beautiful woman in the world, and boy did he remind you of that every day of your life

You moved on with your life as if nothing had ever happened at all

Nobunaga would buy you the best eye patches for you and outfits to match

Nobunaga would always drop sweet little kisses on both your eyes whenever he saw you. 

He would cradle your head in his hand and then gently kiss both eyelids, he would then whisper words of love in your ear, before leaving to his next meeting

Masamune

There was trouble in paradise as the Date clan was not happy about Masamune taking a foreigners hand in marriage

The two of you were appealing to the clan in Azuchi audience hall. 

During one of the meetings a fight broke out

They had their heart set on Masamune marrying a princess of their choosing  ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ

In the middle of the argument one of the men stood up, dagger in hand intending to kill you  Σ(゜д゜;)

The man aimed for you neck but luckily for Masamune’s quick reflexes he missed your neck, although what Masa didn’t see was that the dagger had been lodged into your eye socket

Everyone held their breath, you honestly sat there paralyzed, the shock was too much for you and you passed out 

Masamune was furious   ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ

He picked you up and held you close to his chest

He didn’t want to lose you, this boi though you were dead TBH  (ಥ﹏ಥ)

He nestled his face into your neck, his eyes went wide when he heard your heartbeat  (°-°)

He ran out of the council room and took you straight back to his manor

He called for his most trusted vassal who was responsible for cutting out his own eye, he also called for Ieyasu to assist

He sat by your side holding your hand tightly, his eye stung with unshed tears of fear, anger and frustration  （>﹏<）

Nobunaga had heard what had happened and there was definitely hell to pay for whoever dare try and kill their precious princess  (╬ ಠ益ಠ)

You woke up, Masamune looked at you with fear and worry. 

Ieyasu had told you what had happened and handed you a mirror

You looked at yourself in the mirror through your one remaining eye, you then looked over at Masa’s miserable expression “Well, I guess there is just one thing I can do in a situation like this”  (ΘεΘ;)

Masamune chocked out a reply “And what would that be kitten.”

“If eye’m being honest, this eye patch makes me look soooooo Eyeconic” (◕‿◕✿)

Masamune cracked a small smile “Lass are you trying to tell eye puns.” 

 ( ͡ಥ ͜ʖ ͡ಥ)

“Eye, Captain took you long enough” ༼ つ  ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ༽つ

Masamune blinks at you and you blinked back at him, all of a sudden both of you break out into a fit of laughter (ﾉ･_-)☆

Ieyasu just rolls his eyes “Did I miss something.”  ◔_◔

“Eye’ll be damned, you truly are the best kitten in the world.”

The two of you are legit pirate couple goals ٩(•̮̮̃-̃)۶

Eye puns have now been added to the list of thing the two of you goofballs joke about  >^_^<

Sasuke

You and Sasuke was goofing around playing ninja ninja ( ๑╹o╹)✬

A new ninja had approach Sasuke in the middle of your game and asked if Sasuke could show him some moves

You looked at Sasuke and gave him a nod of approval (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)

As Sasuke showed the ninja trainee some moves, you went to sit on a nearby bench to watch the two of them

As the trainee ninja went to throw one of the throwing knives, it slipped from his fingers and shot back

Your eyes widened as you saw the throwing knife heading straight for you

It hit you in straight in the eye (ʘ‿ʘ)

Sasuke was shook, he was in a state of shock he honestly didn’t know what to do ◉_◉

Kenshin had seen the whole thing unfold and rushed to your side

He looked at his paralyzed ninja and then started barking out orders

Everything happened so fast and Sasuke had been in a daze the entire time ◉_◉

The little ninja in training was now profusely apologizing to you  (⋟﹏⋞)

After you took the pain meds that Kenshin had gotten for you, you felt pretty chilled. Kenshin ordered the best doctor to help you out 

Sasuke finally came out his daze to see you with an eye patch on ಠ‿↼

He started crying, he didn’t know what to do  (つд⊂)

“Hey, Sasuke who am I… Whooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea.” 

( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

Sasuke laughed cried “Only you would imitate patchy the pirate during a time like this.”  (☭ ͜ʖ ☭)

“I’ve always wanted to rock the sexy pirate look, now finally my dream has come true” (｡◕‿◕｡)

The two of you spend the rest of the day making personalized eyepatches with your favourite memes painted on them  (✿◠‿◠)  (✿◠‿◠)

Kenshin

The two of you were out together playing with the bunnies in your favourite flower field  (✿◠‿◠)

You and Kenshin were sitting together snuggling and cuddling while he made you a beautiful flower crown from the flowers that surrounded you

❀ ✿ (✿◠‿◠) ❀ ✿

The bunnies hopped onto your laps and nuzzled the two of you love birds

( ・×・) ❀ ✿ ( ・×・) ❀ ✿

All of a sudden, the bunnies seemed on edge and startled

They stomped their feet on the ground to signal danger  (⁎˃ᆺ˂)

Kenshin quickly stood up and drew his sword   '̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿

The two of you were being attacked by assassins from one of Kenshin’s enemies 

Word had got around that Kenshin had taken a lover, this particular enemy of Kenshin legit hated him and wanted to make him suffer

The assassins task was to kill you right before his eyes

Kenshin managed to fight off the skilled assassin failing to see a second one hiding in the tree lines 

He shot you in the face with an arrow  (°o°)

When he saw you topple to the ground lifeless, he left to report your death

Kenshin’s blood froze, and his heart stopped  ((+_+))

He gently cradled you in his arms, tears slipping from his eyes. ༼ಢ_ಢ༽

The bunnies surrounded the two of you nuzzling you as If to say wake up

Suddenly you started to move, Kenshin quickly picked you up, holding you tight to your chest and sprinted back to the castle  (つ﹏<)･ﾟ｡

He called for all the best doctor and physician to come to your aid

He was pacing up and down, he wanted nothing more than to destroy anyone who dares lay a finger on you  デ╦-( ͡ಥʖ̯ಥ;)╯╲___XXXX

Sasuke managed to calm him down, writing to your Oda friends about what had happened

Once Kenshin was allowed back into the room, he was at your side, head resting on your chest  ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

You gently pulled your fingers through his platinum hair and teary eyes looked up into yours  (^_^;)

Thankfully the arrow didn’t move further than your eye

Kenshin couldn’t help but cry as he gently traced the fresh scar in the place of where your eye was.  つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

You simply smiled at him and said it was alright ｡◕‿◕｡

Kenshin forgot how strong and brave you were, that you were a true goddess of war  (つ﹏<)･ﾟ｡

It took some time to calm Kenshin down and adjust to your new one-eyed life, it definitely made things easier when your Oda friends basically wiped out the enemies that did this to you ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

Kenshin spends every day reminding you of just how beautiful you are 

In his eyes nothing changed 

He took the liberty of painting little bunnies on your eye patches

(ㅇㅅㅇ❀)  

He would literally cut down anyone who dare say one bad thing about you or make a comment about your missing eye  ｡◕‿◕｡(◕‿◕✿)

Hope you enjoyed it love ^_^ ❤❤

[rnegitsune]

Ok so I thought I'd put together some horror stories from my time as a babymetal fan bc of how drastic the shift in the fandom has been the past year or so. For context I got into babymetal in like june of 2014 (all 3 girls were still underage at the time, I was 22; when I first got into them I thought I would be considered an older fan lmao the naivete, the innocence of new fan me wow I know now I'm not at all in the older half of the fandom esp considering I was born the same decade as su and moa), and I made this blog in I think may of 2015.

I've had people say I should compile men being gross into a post and I just couldn't do that out of fear for my own mental health but this will be pretty close. These are all my experiences with this fandom over the years; I'm definitely missing some but what I do remember should do well to cover most of how this fandom used to be vs now. It's gonna be a lot and tw for men being gross about minors.

Back in my first year or so of this blog I on multiple occasions got dms from men asking to be friends. At the time my bio only said my name and my pronouns. I've always been cautious of dms so I'd ask their age and every single one was considerably older than me. I wouldn't usually answer after that bc no thanks but they would generally try to continue convos til I blocked. The only one I still had was this one

After I put my age in my bio, which was 23 at the time, I never got a dm like that again; take from that what you will. But if you're young please be wary of this hell fandom even now. And if you're an older fan and esp an older male fan reading this, don't dm people trying to be friends. I was over 18 and it still creeped me out to no end.

One of my real first men in this fandom are disgusting moments was a blog back in like 2015 or 2016 who I had some contact with due to common interests; he was a huge yui stan and made bm content. He was like 28 or 29 at the time and I eventually noticed he would tag idols, mostly kpop girls, by their body parts (legs, butt, etc) which is disgusting enough as it is but then I saw him do the same for literal minors, like tzuyu from twice. I messaged him asking what the hell he was doing objectifying women but also actual children and he blocked me lmao. He later unblocked me to let me know that's just how he tagged things and it was my fault he had anxiety and then he blocked me again.

Back before the tumblr purge this fandom was repulsive to a degree I cannot even begin to describe. Someone would reblog something from me, I'd go to their blog and it would be underage jpop idols and japanese p*rn all the way down. I even stumbled upon a man editing underage su into p*rn gifs. Obviously no proof of that but I did go find my initial reaction to it

The number of times I'd get a follow from someone then go to their blog and it would be as mentioned above or their bio would be the most misogynistic trash I'd ever read was staggering. I genuinely considered giving up and deleting this blog so many times bc i felt oberwhelmed and outnumbered by these gross old dudes; and so the fact that this fandom has evolved into a bunch of chaotic wlw?? Amazing, I could cry.

Fun phenomenon of women running bm blogs was men sending messages asking if we liked babymetal. No joke. I think this happened to me two or three times but I spoke w other female creators at the time and it had happened to them as well. My entire blog is babymetal, and yet???

He said the weird guy idk bc he sent some random ass messages vaguely insulting me and when I responded coldly, he acted confused so I said you're some guy idk, hence the above message starting as such. Also that pic and the one up above that has my current pfp bc I just took those screenshots. Like I said I typically blocked weird dms but I guess these passed me by so I still had the messages.

Most people know the sub reddit is the worst and don't need me to tell you but it's a hellscape and I highly recommend avoiding it. A short list of things I've had to see as a result of going there: men discussing at length kano and momoko's appearances and how they look in costume vs in normal clothes. Men discussing at length the hope that the girls would marry men who aren't Japanese, a thread that was from when all 3 girls were underage. They aren't gonna marry you dude they're really not.

The insulting of billie Eilish, a 17 year old at the time, was horrible too. Su and moa got to meet her, something they were extremely excited for, and they posted a pic; the comments were disgusting as you can imagine. The yui rumors were terrible too, fatshaming, slutshaming etc all based on nothing. Some man saying the rumors about yui leaving bc, no joke this was a real rumor, she "got too fat" couldn't be true bc "look at saya." Saya being a barely 18 yo back up dancer who covered the third spot after yui left but before the avengers. Not to mention the upskirt shots from when they were minors, the constant editing of their faces onto explicit photoshoots etc. I remember being a new fan looking for a su pic on google and being horrified at the fact that one of the top suggested results after her name was “bikini;” she was 16 at the time. Also, the uptick in massively creepy posts and messages sent to bm blogs as each girl, but esp moa and yui, approached 18 was disgusting.

Now for some personal nonsense. A big reason why I haven't touched my youtube channel in months is bc I got tired of dealing with the men of this fandom. I poke fun at metal and get told I deserve to die. I say ped*philes and creepy men are gross and get a swarm of middle aged men cursing at me. Had a guy cry about how men are shamed for liking bm and then he turned around and said some gross shit about wlw. Had a guy call me racist for liking a band he also likes (and despite him having no way of knowing my own race) and tell me the babymetal fandom doesn't need my kpop feminist bullshit, which is honestly a great description and I thought about putting it in my yt about lmao. Had a middle aged man unironically say he'd never seen a man be creepy towards bm but fans su and moa's ages calling them hot was creepy. The disillusionment....the level of unawareness is astounding. If you want to see screenshots of some of these comments they are fairly recent in my don't mind me tag; I don't want to see them anymore tho bc they're infuriating so I'm not going to look at them to post here.

Essentially I haven't looked at my channel since may bc men are exhausting and rude and refuse to examine the fandoms they're a part of no matter what. They're told by a woman of the fandom that she's had bad experiences personally and they all start crying about how it's either a lie bc they haven't seen it or unimportant. I did stop reading comments in may and I will never read another one again probably as a result of this shit. Trash men being trash are not worth my time and I refuse to give them anymore of it. I do plan on making more videos tho and let my ~feminist kpop bullshit~ live in their minds rent free.

I will also continue to make fun of metal and the creepy men in this fandom bc it's important and I'm a spiteful asshole who likes disrupting these dudes perfect bubble of a fandom. It genuinely brings me so much joy seeing all the new fans recently (which sidenote if you got into them recently I am kinda curious as to how you found them; I've gotten tons of new followers and considering how inactive they are rn I'm curious). People sending messages about how they finally feel like they belong or that they have a safe space....like I don't even know what to say and I never feel like my responses fully convey how genuinely wonderful that is and how thrilled I am that this is where we're at now and I have had at least some part in it. As this post shows, my experiences have been negative for the most part so the shift recently is such a relief I cannot even begin to explain my gratitude.

So to anyone who read all of this and hasn't disintegrated from the male bullshit, thank you. Keep being yourself and fighting for your place in this fandom, esp if you're a young woman; keep making fun of the creeps and keep making wlw memes!! Babymetal's music is in such a huge way meant for girls and to see more and more finding their way to this previously hellish beyond belief fandom is incredible.

[tangled-cl0wn-core]

Where, besides Tumblr, can people find you doing fannish things? (Obviously only mention sites and usernames you actually want to be found at. Don’t expose your secret identities on my account.)

What other names have you gone by on these platforms, including Tumblr, if any?

When did you join the IT fandom? And what got you into fandom, to begin with?

What are your favorite ships, or characters, if any, and why? What do they mean to you?

In what ways do you participate in fandom? (ex. Posting memes, reblogging/commenting on content, writing fanfic, making fanart, creating fanmixes, etc.)

Do you have any in-fandom inspirations? Other members of the community that drive you? (And if you have the time/energy, in what ways do they inspire you?)

Name and link some of your favorite works, please!

Do you have any works of your own that you feel particularly proud of, or wish more people would’ve consumed? Please provide links if possible.

Have you ever participated in a fannish event (ie. IT Week, a fic Big Bang) or applied to be a part of a fanzine? If so, which ones, and can you please link them?

Without any form of bashing or lashing out, what is something you feel this fandom is missing?

 HI!! since you asked before sending it, I knew this was coming but my First Cool Guy Tumblr Ask is so neat,, anyway!!

This is my only IT-specific account, but I post almost everything I draw on my instagram, https://www.instagram.com/fabricsofteners/ (I don't know how people make links cool on tumblr aaa) I also have an AO3, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangledheadphonecord , where I might post this one really long fic I’m working on (maybe not, as it’s super lame but God am I putting in work)? But mostly it’s just really old stuff atm, and no IT content right now - just some random drabbles from past hyperfixations tbh.

I used to be ‘fabricsofteners’ everywhere besides here - tangledheadphonecord is a username I used for my tumblr because I want a change from the fabricsofteners brand, as I've had it for quite a few years and have just grown kind of bored - just waiting a bit to change my instagram user. I also used to be ‘unbrandedmarkers’ like, three years ago on instagram? but, that era ended fast. I think I might have an old Tumblr under some variation of ‘fabric softener’ but honestly even if anything is up on it I’d probably be embarassed to look at it now.

I watched IT for the first time in 2019, I believe, but wasn’t really in the fandom until actually like, April of this year. I entered the fandom and developed a hyperfixation (sobs) by complete mistake - I read all the fics for michael mell/rich goranski on ao3, and was on a camping trip and wanted to read some Homosexual Fanfiction and literally remembered IT on a whim (rich-to-richie association) and read a bunch of Reddie fics, and it was all down (up?) hill from there.

Unshockingly, I’m sure, Reddie is my number one favourite IT ship. I’m also an enjoyer of Benverly, as well as Stanley/Patty - IT is like, the only fandom where I actually like the canon ships. I do also think Streddie/Stozier is really cute and Bill/Mike (unsure of the shipname?) is nice when I see it!! I think Reddis is cute because I am a total sucker for best-friends-to-lovers, as well asthe  ‘I tease everyone but mostly you’ and the ‘I’m so tired of you bullying me but if you ever stop I’ll cry’ and... just, the entire dynamic that they have. Stanley/Patty - there is no reasoning, I just want Stanley to be happy. Benverly - the way they were each other’s first Meaningful Interactions in so like?? agony, they’re so cute. They both deserve to be happy, and I’m so happy they find that happiness in each other. 

As for characters - Richie is absolutely my favourite. I (unfortunately /hj) kin and relate to him on so many levels it hurts. Having a character that feels that fear of their sexuality because of a horrible environment is painfully real. covering up struggles with humour and all that?? yeah, mood (also, crushing on your best friend-). What he means to me, in a sense, isn’t really canon - I read strictly fix-it fics, because I want to feel that hope that like fanon Richie, I don’t have to hide forever. I can be myself and be happy. Obviously I can’t much look to the movies or anything for that but hey - what’re Andy or Stephen gonna do, tell me to stop reading fics? 

I also really like Stanley!! I don’t,, have a reason. I just think he’s adorable and I love his dynamic with the other Losers a lot. Stanley breathed like, once, and instantly became a comfort character and not even I know why at this point, he just is. Eddie & Bev are up there, too - honestly, Bill is the only Loser I don’t have a strong attachment too. And honestly, he’s growing on me rapidly.

I mostly draw whatever my goblin hyperfixated brain can think of, as well as rebloging just about every post that I see and like (art, jokes, edits, fics, etc.) - I start and stop a lot of fics, maybe one day I’ll finish one but as of yet I have not... Sigh.

I honestly don’t think I do have anyone to tag for inspiration? I follow IT blogs but none I would go to for inspiration (no offense to any mutuals-) inspiration for me is mostly just seeing a pose and going ‘okay’ and suddenly I have a drawing - I have no clue what happens in between.

So, my current all-time favourite IT fic atm is https://archiveofourown.org/works/18213215/chapters/43087232, though I will say it’s a really heavy fic and to read with caution. Going away from Angst, any ‘famous Reddie’ AUs are amazing, but I constantly reread the entire https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560019 series. It’s cute and funny and I THRIVE for domestic Reddie content. 

Actually not Reddie, I throughly enjoyed https://archiveofourown.org/works/23201011 for giving me the Mike content the movies have robbed me of for too long, as well as https://archiveofourown.org/works/25262698 which is pure stanlon greatness and made my heart flutter for the boys more than once.

I don’t really have any IT fics up of my own creation, and honestly my reception in way of Tumblr notes is far better than I expected so honestly, I have none to link lol. As long as I get minimun interaction I will thrive.

I wish I could say I’ve been in anything like a zine or anything, but I have not! I’m relatively new to the fandom (and having a social media dedicated to one thing) so I wouldn’t even know where to begin to join or be qualified for one, y’know? I’ve done art weeks in the past and found them incredibly fun but haven’t seen any for IT - but if anyone does happen to know of any... Feel free to send them my way-

As for the last question - other than like, hyping up Chosen and Jeremy just as much as we do the other IT kids (which, honestly I’m not even sure if is still a problem - I’ve just seen posts about it and it’s made me wary), I’m not sure? I’ve honestly not encountered anything in the fandom I find awful and honestly, for a fandom about a movie that is... Well, IT, I’ve really just kind of enjoyed my time in the fandom thus far?

(I will say we need 200% more attention being drawn to 1990s adult Eddie Kaspbrak, who is one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen - but I also feel that way about James Ransone, so I’m not mad.)

(Also, we should be calling out the 1990s IT more, I watched it recently and it’s so bad /lh)

Anyway!! I feel like this answer was incredibly long and I am so sorry!! But like, thank you so much for asking me anything at all fihabsfhbafb I thrive at any chance to talk about the dumb clown movie. (Also, i’m sorry I say ‘honestly’ so much-)

[365days365movies]

January 4, 2021: First Blood (1982) (Part II)

Quick Recap before we go on. Oh, and SPOILERS right up top!

John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) is a Vietnam vet wandering through Washington State, until coming upon the town of Hope, run by the Sheriff Will Teasle (Brian Dennehy).

Sheriff Will Teasle is an absolute dick who arrests Rambo for no real reason; just for being a “drifter.” His police force, which includes the sadistic Galt (Jack Starrett) and sympathetic Mitch (David Caruso, AKA Horatio Caine from CSI: Miami), beats John Rambo, and post-2020 me is UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!!!

Rambo has Vietnam flashbacks (like you do) and escapes the prison, pursued by the obsessive and dickish Sheriff and his equally dickish men (except for Horatio, maybe).

Galt tries to shoot Rambo, and karma bitch-slaps him RIGHT in the face, holy shit. He dies, and Rambo is blamed and shot at, escaping into the forest.

OK?

OK. On with the recap!

At this point, all of Rambo’s actions are in self-defense. In truth, it’s been self-defense since the beginning. However, he does kill two dogs, so...yeah, can’t really justify that. That sucks. The dog’s handler gets shot by Rambo, who now has a gun, and we also see that Galt’s certified sociopathy has leaked into everybody else but Horatio upon his death, including the dog guy, who tells his dogs to straight up kill Rambo. But, as previously stated...that’s not what happens.

At this point, I should introduce the amemedala.

The amemedala is a portion of the mesencephalon (or midbrain) discovered in the brains of millennials and younger individuals, recently discovered, named, and made up by yours truly. This area, attached to the thalamus, acts as a relay center between the cerebrum and the various sensory receptors of the body, similar to the function of the thalamus. However, while the thalamus governs the broad relay of senses to the appropriate areas of the brain for analysis, the amemedala relays appropriate sensory signals to the frontal lobes, where catalogs of shared sociological trends, or memes, are housed. This relay and association generates connections between extrenal stimuli, and entries in the meme catalog of the frontal lobes. While this is technically an autonomic process, it can be suppressed with enough willpower.

Why am I ringing this up in the middle of First Blood? Because EVERY. SINGLE. CELL of my brain is working to suppress the amemedala right now. Why? BECAUSE OF THE LORAX, AND FOR WHOM HE SPEAKS.

Is it an outdated meme? Very much so. BUT I CANNOT GET IT OUT OF MY GODDAMN HEAD AS I WATCH THIS MOVIE.

OK. That is now out of my system. Anyway, Rambo continues to speak for the trees, which is understandably starting to spook the smalltown cops. This leads to the VERY surprising moment where a camouflaged Rambo appears OUT OF NOWHERE and stabs Horatio in the goddamn leg! Like, wow, he was invisible! I had to rewind the film to see where he was. This is tense...and awesome, not gonna lie. This is awesome.

And then, he gets another cop by JUMPING FROM A TREE. Well, a tree stump, BUT STILL. After he takes him out, he stands in plain sight in front of an approaching cop. That cop, subscribing once again to the shoot-first-ask-questions-later policy, fires. And I SWEAR, Rambo is FASTER THAN THOSE SPEEDING BULLETS, as he dodges out of the way, and the bullets HIT THE COP HE JUST TOOK OUT!

And then, when I didn’t think this could get any more intense, that cop triggers a booby trap, and A STICK WITH WOODEN SPIKES GOES THROUGH THIS MAN’S LEGS, AND HE’S SPEARED LIKE A KEBAB OH MY GOD

The asshole sheriff runs to the NEW set of panicked screams, and his compatriot is just Batman-ed away by Rambo. It’s just the sheriff, now. The storm is building, and the forest is getting darker. The sheriff frees leg-spike cop, and goes to find the other cop, who’s been PINNED TO A TREE LIKE A BUTTERFLY IN A DISPLAY CASE. See, look!

HOLY SHIT IT’S RAMBO WITH A KNIFE IN THE FOREST. He pins the sheriff up to a tree, then with some legitimately badass lines, threatens with the sheriff with “a war [he] wouldn’t believe,” and telling him to make like Elsa and…

I love this sequence. It is the most intense, crazy, holy shit sequence I’ve seen so far this month. Wow. I understand why people talk about this movie. Man, that was a hell of a ride! Good movie, though. All right, so, time for the final sco-

Oh. Oh, my God. I’m only HALFWAY INTO THE MOVIE?

...Wow. OK, then.

We now meet Colonel Sam Trautman, Rambo’s commander in the Green Berets. He’s come to “get his boy.” He says that he came to rescue the Sheriff’s dumb ass from Rambo, rather than the other way around. And the Sheriff is...an idiot. He’s an ass, he’s a maniac, and he’s a stubborn idiot. Even after learning that Rambo is the best, he’s unwilling to back down, the dummkopf.

Rambo kills a wild boar in the woods, which makes no sense for Washington State, but whatever, sure. Anyway, they try to get the colonel to lure Rambo out, even though that’s obviously gonna make his PTSD, just...SO much worse. Especially as he starts using Vietnam parlance in contacting him. Not gonna end well, guys. But it’s then that we learn that Rambo is now the last surviving member of his unit, contributing to his trauma. Rambo’s also been trying to get in contact with the Colonel, winding up here because he has no place to go. He says that there are no friendly civilians, and the trouble’s been caused by that “king-shit” cop. I will be using this term from now on.

Wow. Damn. Hell of a reason for that title. And I think I love this movie. Seriously, I’m having a good time.

King-Shit Cop keeps going ahead with his absolute idiocy, despite all warnings to the contrary. So, a bunch of troops now converge upon Rambo’s place, but he naturally opens fire on them, without killing a single person. In fact, he hasn’t killed anyone this whole movie, and they make a point of saying that he’s been holding back the whole time. So, they decide to use the next, most logical course of action. They FIRE A ROCKET AT HIM.

Afterwards, the Colonel and King Shit Cop catch up at a bar, where the latter exposes his full sociopathy, commenting that he just wanted to kill Rambo. This is opposed to the Colonel, who doesn’t really know what he’d do if Rambo survived.

Which, of course, he did. C’mon, you think a little military-grade propelled explosive is gonna kill John Rambo? Nah. He’s the best there ever was, and he’s gonna prove it now. He jumps into a military vehicle holding an M-60, and hijacks it. Doesn’t take long for the news to break that Rambo’s still kicking, and he’s quickly intercepted by King Shit Cop, who JUST. DOESN’T. KNOW. WHEN. TO QUIT. And I’d admire his tenacity if he wasn’t SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

The cops try to run Rambo and the truck of the road, and he plays the UNO Reverse Card on them instead. And I’m pretty sure at this point…

...that old Johnny boy’s just killed some cops. So, yeah, now there’s a bigger problem. He powers through the State Police blockade like it was a banner blocking a football team, stops at a gas station, grabs the gun from the car, and LIGHTS ALL OF THAT SHIT ON FIRE! Destroying the livelihood of an individual who had nothing to do with this.

Yeah, Rambo’s starting to turn from innocent acting in self-defense to public menace REAL quick. And yeah, it’s King Shit Cop’s fault entirely...but, yeah, Johnny needs some help, because he’s losing the train at this point. But, not to be outdone, King Shit Cop is also beginning to lose it, and it’s definitely beginning to seem like only one of them is going to come out of this alive. And the Colonel tries to give him an out, but King Shit Cop’s prepared to go down with the ship that he blew a hole in in the first place. Like an asshole.

But here we go, the finale. John Rambo vs. King Shit Cop (whose name, by the way, is Will Teasle. I just like Rambo’s name for him better). KSC’s on the roof, Rambo’s on the street. Rambo causes more property damage, possibly because banks also give him PTSD (I joke, but PTSD is no laughing matter, John clearly needs help), and then finds his way to a store that has just all of the ammo a psychologically-damaged Vietnam War veteran on a revenge quest could ever need.

And then he BLOWS. THAT. SHIT. UP.

And he does this...ALL of this...just to lure KSC out of hiding. This man DESTROYS A TOWN because this idiot, sociopathic, unhinged, King Shit Cop, won’t just STAND. THE FUCK. DOWN ALREADY.

Rambo enters the police station, where KSC is on the roof. And, like the Colonel and the rest of us guessed, KSC gets shot in the process. And as Rambo stands over KSC, the Colonel finally shows up and does what literally everybody else should have done.

Talk. He just...talks to Rambo. He talks to this mentally ill man, and that mentally ill man responds, espousing his pure anger at the war, the public, protesters, work, the country, the town, himself...everyone. And goddamn, is that shit palpable.

This man can no longer fit in the world that he was forced to leave, and forced to return to. This poor, poor, poor man. It hurts. And it sucks. And he pours his heart out to the Colonel, and to us, and...you feel it. You feel his trauma, you feel his pain. You feel the aftermath of war. And it’s been seven years at this point for the Colonel, but no time for John. Not Rambo. John. And it’s just...never over.

Damn. Goddamn.

This...this is one hell of a good movie. And not just a good action movie, either. A damn good movie.

And that’s it. That’s First Blood.

[incarnateirony]

I get blends of innocent beans confused with what queer coding is or isn’t, and malignant beans misappropriating points, so we’re gonna do a quick run through.

Queer coding started as a malignant thing. The truest use of the phrase “queer coding” came from stereotypes and villainizations that straight people found sCaRy. This is like, why Scar seemed classically flamboiyant, or a variety of Disney villains were long, lanky, gestured exaggeratedly, wore eyeliner, etc. There’s a million examples but I’m not going to cover them all because I think you get what I mean. At the time, straight culture was painting gays as bad so painting villains as how straights perceived gays was like, super useful, cuz it creeped the straights out oOOoooOOo.

When people talk about queer coding enforcing stereotypes, if you’re talking about the original form of queer coding, this is inherently true. However, coding reached other levels, and has adaptive forms.

For example, watching (as I’ve been mocked for saying 10,000 times, but because it’s needed) The Celluloid Closet will clear up a lot for you. Subversive queer coding is when queer creators use a great deal of things to communicate with a queer audience past censorship. The film documentary (if you can’t read the book -- which I understand, it’s difficult to find) clears a whole fuckton of this up.

There’s some things that, quite frankly, we as gays know as part of our language. It is what it is. While it’s not a stereotype, it’s quite literally a language I highly warn straights against stepping into, because then they flounder around confused on what’s our actual language and what’s a stereotype

A truly innocent bean asked of me yesterday, well why then is menthols fair subversive queer coding? How is that not a stereotype?

Well like, because it’s facts. And that’s really, really hard to wrap ones’ head around from an outsider straighty perspective or even someone who’s queer but trapped heavily in a hetnorm world outside of where this is visible and/or in the wrong demographic otherwise. A black person who hangs out with black people of all orientations is not going to blink at a media dude getting menthols generally, because it’s one of the cultures that statistically engages in it to the point of memes about Kools or whatever. That’s not my culture, I can’t comment on much beyond that, but it’s just something to take note of.

But even if you don’t want to take someone’s word on “no, seriously, white dudes smoking menthols is queer culture and literally like a great sign for a hookup to another queer white dude”, google the various intersections of gender and menthol, race and menthol, and sexuality and menthol.

This isn’t pulled out of thin air. These were populations quite literally heavily targeted by Big Tobacco and, by nature, are the ones that smoke it, whereas Big Tobacco put(s) on airs of masculinity and chick-magnetness to smoke good ol non-menthol shit. It’s literally marketing. Yes, it does literally impact who buys product and yes, it does after generations have a noticeable affect. Track the numbers I told you to google down and you’ll realize less than 3% of menthol smokers identify as straight white men (depending on the way the numbers sort out and the year of polling, often 1.x%, 3% is the liberal number).. Lemme tell you, on the street, that’s an “okay, honey :)” when you do find it. Maybe a little pat on the head. An invisible brochure for Welcome To The Gays.  Like, White Men make up more than 31% of America and they still refuse to tally more than 25% of the US as queer [some censuses as low as 6% and LOL] so like-- that should be like minimum 25% of dudes available and nope, 1-3%)

(that’s not to say all gays or even all white gays smoke menthol, but this is that rule of “not all fingers are thumbs, but all thumbs are fingers” in loose application.)

But understanding these things, these signals, from the outside is utterly flabbergasting to people.

No, someone making an immasculating joke is not subversive queer coding. No, a dude wearing a certain kind of shirt or eating a certain kind of food generally isn’t queer coding (Unless it’s a rainbow flag BITCH IM GAY shirt, or uh, maybe for food quiche or hummus? I mostly joke for the latter two, but that’s the kind of self ball punching queer community sometimes does to itself in awareness that yes, there ARE elements. No, eating hot dogs and burritos isn’t gay. Yes, we make make penis jokes. No, that isn’t itself queer coding.)

When a queer author codes a piece, it’s designed to communicate to the resonant audience. It also may not communicate to /all/ gays. The language of a middle aged cis gay man that lived through the AIDS crisis is a whole other fuckin adventure from the language of 17 year old trans gays squatting behind their Xbox, it’s just fact, it’s just what is. Completely different cultures and lives being lived, completely different experiences resulting. A few things here or there may connect across generations but some shit that’s written by a gen Z gay is gonna whiff by a boomer gay, sorry. Also just facts.

Explaining exactly what is and isn’t queer coding is almost impossible beyond the fact that “if you don’t get it, it’s probably not for you.” -- At the same time, that leaves the problematic room of people taking that grey area and packing in a bunch of shit and we’re back to ground zero on the original problematic queer coding.

I once read a meta of uh-- I’ll just say, [Fantasy Character]. The fantasy character had an addiction problem that gave them villain-like attributes. Someone implied the “villain coding” made it queer coding. Okay like. Fucking absolutely not. Because if the show in question WAS doing that, first off, that’s literally the kind to make mockeries of gay people so you literally shouldn’t be reaching for that and second off they’d be doing that lanky sassy bitch with eyeliner bullshit like Disney villains with it, give or take. You don’t apply this shit in reverse, “he has villain attributes and so he’s gay” is literally the worst possible angle to take a discussion while trying to slap fight in a representation arena. Like I can’t say enough DO NOT DO THIS SHIT. 

If you wanna write fic or headcanon whoever as gay or whatever have fun but like once people keep trying to talk about “coding” you’re talking about conscious elements inset by the authors. Does a character have a bunch of on the record sexual encounters that just happen to include dudes persistently even if we don’t exactly get the exact angle or Proof Of Dicking? That’s gay (also depending on the phrasing, as settled in older stuff, that’s just deadass queer text and settled long before this fandom ever had pissing matches about this shit in older cinema.) Does the character happen to be respectful and use like gender neutral pronouns on people? Sorry folks that unto itself isn’t gay, that’s gays writing allies at best, unless you can give specific and directly applicable situations relevant to the character rather than eternally vague blogging through and swearing up and down it’s just about their partners or some shit. Yelling it in general though, sorry, no. 

Does the character engage in things or events with non-het gendered partners that in the very least are heavily coded into the areas of relationships even if they’re unclear (eg, do they routinely go out with non-family people and hold deep or meaningful conversations in things that LOOK like a date, even if nobody SAYS it’s a date) -- congrats, you have coded text. Alone it could even be queerplat stuff, depending on the suprastructure of the plot, text, subtext and everything else around it (same way, gasp, a man and a woman can sit at a table and not necessarily be in a relationship, but if they’re trading courting gifts and having unique and powerful exchanges or have big like, “the heart is the thing that binds us together uwu” shit, we all figure out what the fuck is going on like grown assed adults.)

It’s easier to list things that are NOT subversive queer coding:

Insults against gay people

Immasculating commentary

Random foods short of it deadass being a gay author making fun of some gay meme shit in some gay equivalent of ‘right in front of my salad’

Favorite colors or clothing

---

We got it? Good. Rule of thumb though. Deadass unless you are involved in some thick-ass queer culture don’t try to queer code shit. I don’t even care if you’re queer yourself because that doesn’t mean you’ve actually been subject to the culture in a meaningful way. There’s 30 year old bis that grew up in white picket fence suburbias on top of trust funds with hovercraft parents guiding them through 17 degrees and keeping them out of party culture that married a het-passing relationship and settled down and started having babies and their grasp of queer culture ends at what they perceive out of memes online, if they even hover in actual queer crowds online at all as much as general ones. That person literally is not going to speak much of the language. They aren’t. At best they’ll speak the language of 30 year old trust fund het-married bisexual mothers which, I mean yeah, technically some queer language but that’s a very, very fucking niche experience path right there compared to street-dwelling club-goers that attend pride, hold D&D parties with all their coworkers they figured out are gay on the weekend, occasionally brick a window in a riot. The latter is gonna have a far more diverse queer experience. And by such, a far more diverse queer language.

That’s not even to gatekeep. 30 year old trust fund het-passing-marriage bi-mom is in fact bi. So yeah, they’re queer. But we’re talking about language and culture, which is related to but not something you inherit. It comes by lives and experiences.

And I think this is where a LOT of the fucked up early Queer Coding fuckery comes from in discourse. Yes we have a language. Hell, to some extent a few things might even kinda BE stereotypes but there’s a certain amount of living and being where you know the difference between “this is a stereotype made by straight people villainizing us that has no idea what we’re fucking like” or “this is a stereotype born out of mass marketing that targeted and victimized then imprinted on an entire population that we’ve come to recognize among ourselves.” Or even “this is a stereotype but FUCK YES it’s one we embrace, go get fucked, straights.” And it’s not NEARLY as ambiguous as fandom circle jerks try to make these things out to be in the interest of wanting every interpretation to be valid or every character to be gay or not wanting to admit some person may know what the fuck they’re talking about more than they do. 

Huge point on that last one though, because like. I’ve seen some angry straights that are pissy about the show try to throw wrenches in the gears by concern trolling as if in defense of the gays about “offensive queer coding” and most of the time they’re basically that “how do you do fellow kids gays” meme. “How do you do gays I am very concerned about *checks notes* the twitters talking about gay men walking fast” and half the time turn around like two tweets later like “besides the character doesn’t even have a lisp anyway” or some bullshit that is outright offensive ass stereotyping while they’re out here trolling over the fact that a gay man admits to diva worship as a cultural trait.

General rule of thumb: ask a queer culture immersed gay about queer coding.

Shipping culture in the blue hellsite is not queer culture, for the record. Even if a bunch of queerfolk are in it.

Thanks.

Sincerely,

A very tired gay

[nny11writes]

13, 16, 18, 43 and 50 for tha ask game please and thank you :P Just, many many numbers lol

13. What is your planning process?

My first reaction was to squint and go “Do I have a process?” which is probably an answer on its own lol!

It depends is the actual answer.

Like most writers I start a fic because of one scene or dialogue or description that I really, really, really wanted to write and then I have to figure out where it belongs.

I almost always start by just...writing. I used to be 100% stream of consciousness writer. I’d sit down at least once a day with a blank document and without ANY forethought or direction I’d start writing a fic. It was always as much fun for me as my readers to see where a story would go because I literally had no clue.

These days, as I’m putting THE THING down on the page my brain is shrieking ideas at me so I start slapping them down too, but I’ve got a better filter so not everything goes down. There’s a lot of [WHAT IS THIS THING PLS PLS FIGURE IT OUT] and [PAST OR PRESENT TENSE MF MAKE UP YO MIND] at this stage.

This is where I actually start planning. I’ve got a bunch of stuff down, a vague direction, and a lot of ideas so this is usually where I sit down to do some planning. Am I aiming to write a short fic or long fic, one shot or multi-chapter, where are we, how many characters, etc. I leave things pretty wide open, while sometimes it’s fun to challenge myself to meet very specific goals it’s usually frustrating to me so nothing is set in stone. Literally. Even when I’ve posted if someone leaves a comment that’s amazing or enough people liked it I’ll usually try to write more in that fic or another fic with those ideas.

How To Quit You is a great example of how my loosey goosey planning works. I don’t know if people realize but that fic was originally supposed to be ONLY that first chapter. I wrote it in an hour tops for 2019 glitra week and all I knew at that point was I wanted to do a western with some romance tropes to it (hence the exes who still love each other thing).

Once I realized how many people seemed to love it and wanted to see more I sat down and planned it out. I first decided how I wanted to write the story (hence going back in time ~15 years) and then I created chapter titles and had vague descriptions for them.  Once it was all down I went through it again and made adjustments, then created a timeline (Micah died in 1868, they meet in 1870, Catra works BMR rails 1870-1880 min, etc etc). And that’s it.  I made an outline and used it as my idea bouncing ground and map and huge parts of it have changed as we’ve gone along. Catra was going to become a drunkard out in [REDACTED] after the timeline met up with chapter one. I scrapped that because it didn’t fit with other details and changes I’d made. I re-wrote the chapter and now I gotta scrap that and re-write it again do to reasons that would spoilers.

Let’s Try This Again is another hilarious example, because chapters 1-6 were meticulously planned and I charted out a whole story around them that I was going to stick to damn it all! And then Palpatine hip checked me and changed the course of the story. I still included a lot from my original VERY detailed outline, but some chapters were nixed completely and others added in too sooooo...

I’m not a true pantser because I do some planning, but I’m not a planner because I leave huge chucks practically up to the whims of fate. I’m a plantser.

16. Do you use sentence starters, writing prompts and/or fandom headcanons for your fanfics?

Sometimes! 

I think some of my best works are from prompts (WHICH ARE ALWAYS OPEN, HINT HINT, NUDGE NUDGE, KNOW WHAT I MEAN KNOW WHAT I MEAN) specifically.

I rarely use sentence starters but I think I’ve done okay when I did.

But fandom headcanons? Oh hell yeah baby now we’re talking!

Can Anakin cook but Padme can’t? Hell yeah!

Togruta have some cat like features so Ahsoka is obligate carnivore and color blind? WOOOOOOOO BOYYYYYYYYYYYY!

"This is not because I like you.” is 100% something that everyone in the Horde says when trying to cover their asses, Catra’s just a useless lesbian and has to use it A Lot More Than Most. Awwwwww yeah, that’s the good stuff!

Glimmer and Catra talk to one another but only have serious conversations sitting back to back post canon. I DON’T MAKE THE RULES!

Like, god, fandom headcanon is practically what my fics live on lol! I’m not great at writing things in canon or sticking to canon, and people are amazing and smart so of course I’m going to steal their cool ideas and then mess with them until they’re my own.

18. What is your favorite writing prompt?

...I gotta be honest I have no clue lol. I’ve liked basically every prompt I’ve ever gotten (there’s literally only been 2 that I got and went “...oh.” and of those two I was able to bend the prompt into things I liked a lot! One of them is actually posted and people like it, and then other is currently sitting in the naughty prompt corner for crimes of FIGHTING ME TO A STANDSTILL every time I write a few sentences for it, but I do actually like it now lol).

I think my favorite style of prompt are ones that are open for some interpretation. You know that joke about you know a writer based on how they respond to a one word prompt like “fall” or “cold” or even “love”? I love that kind of stuff! Heck, even things with a more narrow focus are fun to play with. For one of my prompt fics I was able to flip the script and have the character everyone expects the unrequited pining from to instead be the unattainable beloved instead.

*Marge potato meme* I just think they’re neat!

43. Guilty pleasure tropes and scenarios?

None, because I am very loud about what I enjoy and refuse to have things I enjoy ripped away by strangers on the interwebs.

Okay, more seriously, as far as things that others might think are guilty pleasure tropes and scenarios?

I love a good “morons to repressed idiots to lovers” slow burn. Yes, yesssss, let them be absolute fools and make MASSIVE mistakes that they have no reason to make. There was a miscommunication? Delightful! Oh look, they’re both flirting with one another but think the other one is just joking around with them. I WILL TAKE ANOTHER 200K OF THEM SUFFERING THANK YOU!

I love AUs man, every time I see someone who really hates coffee shop AUs or highschool AUs or modern AUs I end up getting grumpy and I go find some of those AUs to read because I love them. The AUs I love the most change fandom to fandom. Not a huge fan of modern AU for star wars, but an absolute slut for them in She Ra. Palpatine chokes on a bagel and I live, but if that happened to Horde Prime I’d be pissed. *shrug* I just know that some people really don’t like or even outright hate AUs, and I do not understand them at all. Like, good for them and I hope they find the fics they do enjoy! But also, why???????

I think my “cringiest” one is that I actually really like A/B/O as long as they flip the script somehow or delve into how something like that would actually effect the world it exists in. Is sex in public a common and acceptable thing b/c they can’t control themselves? Do jobs and schools give people time off for heats and ruts? Is it considered antiquated and anyone who struggles with their biology is considered lazy or stupid? Do celebrities sometimes get in trouble with fans or even lose their jobs/prestige after showing off their new mating mark? GIVE ME THE WORLD BUILDING I WANT TO KNOW! But if it’s a really boring traditional A/B/O...like, what’s the point there? 

Please don’t misunderstand me here. These three examples are all things that are WILDLY stupid in their own rights, and I love them dearly both because of and regardless of that!

50. Can we get a teaser for an upcoming chapter?

It’s All Fun and Games Until...Stop! Stop! We’re Already Gay!

AKA the one where they all go to Mystacor to relax in the steam grotto and have to deal with seeing one another in tight fitting and wet underwear. The thirst is high.

“So…” Bow started conversationally as Sea Hawk put the finishing touches on Bow’s freshly painted nails. “How doomed are they? Are we making bets?”

Mermista and Sea Hawk made significant eye contact before looking at him pitifully. 

“What?” Bow asked, starting to sweat nervously. “What!?”

“Nothing, just-” Sea Hawk didn’t even get to finish.

“You need to get your girlfriend to get her girlfriends under control, and like, I knooooow that’s a tall order or whatever. But uuuuuuuuugggggghhh, we are going to die.”

“Girlfriend!?” Bow’s voice cracked painfully. “Ha! A-ha! Ha! W-who? I don’t, I don’t have a girlfriend, what are you even talking about?”

“Uuuuuggggggghh!”

“There, there my dear. We have survived worse.”

[seraphicwiing]

SEPHIROTH BEFORE NIBELHEIM ---> PART 1- RELATIONSHIPS 

This will most likely be a three part series expanding on what our favourite Hero was like before Nibelheim because hey, before he was a monster, he was a human. The topic for this post is his relationships with certain characters during this broad time period (Also slightly based around interactions already done on this blog so some characters may have more skewed ratings). I hope you all enjoy the read <3 (Also enjoy this meme of a pic, I call it the many forms of Sexyroth tyty)

PLACED  UNDER THE CUT DUE TO LENGTH. LEO PROTECTING Y’ALLS DASHES <3 

THE TURKS- Opinions on the Group: Mild Indifference

Veld: Closeness: 6/10, Trust Level: 5/10, 

Sephiroth has a lot of respect for Veld as a leader. When he gets sent on a mission with particular Turks, his first point of contact is and always has been Veld. While he doesn’t really have that much of an opinion on the department other than they are a secretive bunch of Suits (literally), Veld has always made a lasting positive impressions through words of advice for the SOLDIER. He could tell that Veld was well trained, he put on that caring facade exceptionally but he appreciated the words of wisdom all the same. 

Tseng: Closeness: 2/10, Trust Level: 5/10 

This man was someone that Sephiroth did not have many encounters with, but he knew of him. When he would go to visit Veld for briefings if he was going on a mission with a partnered Turk, Tseng was almost always there. Exchanges were brief, merely giving each other a respectful nod before going about their business. At some point, he just assumed Tseng was Veld’s new secretary, he had no idea that Veld was grooming the man to become his successor. 

Reno: Closeness 1/10, Trust Level: 3/10 

Good old ‘Torch Head’ himself. At this rate, Sephiroth is choosing to forget Reno’s name on purpose when he is assigned a mission with him. While he finds the redhead’s opinion on him amusing, he hates the way he acts around him. He will always let Reno take charge in their missions just to spare him an argument, but when push comes to shove, Sephiroth will end up doing his own thing if Reno’s plan goes South. Mind you, if Reno was in danger the SOLDIER would still come to save him, much to his chagrin. ‘No man left behind’ mentally coming into full play there. 

Rude: Closeness: 6/10, Trust Level: 7/10 

Probably his favourite out of all of the Turks in terms of work ethic, Rude is very professional and from that; Sephiroth has formed a mutual respect for the fisticuff fighter which he hopes the knuckle sandwich provider shares. During missions, they work in tandem and are incredibly badass at what they do. Their fighting styles compliment each other perfectly and they are both quiet. They know what to do, no need to dilly dally with words. Although, Sephiroth does crack one dry joke here and there to lighten the mood. 

Cissnei/Shuriken: Closeness: 6/10, Trust Level: 6/10 

Cissnei is a unique one, while he’s never had the pleasure of going on missions with her personally, he has seen her work and it impressed him. For someone so young (at the time), Sephiroth was quite surprised that they had this martial skill. He wondered why ShinRa were employing such young people, she reminds him of his own childhood and teen years as such, they’ve formed a surprising friendship; however he has certain trust issues with her since she is a Turk, perhaps she’s putting on the gentle act much like how Veld does. He offered to train her once, but she politely declined with the comment:

 “No thanks, I’d prefer not to be humiliated by the Poster Boy of the SOLDIER programme.” Did I mention that he finds mild annoyance when people call him ‘Poster Boy’? 

As for the rest of the Turks (Legend, Martial Arts, Gun, Katana etc/), he never really had an equal share of time with them to formulate an opinion. He had been on missions with these particular people in the past but never properly formed a relationship with them. a handful of Turks is more than enough for him. 

SHINRA EXECS- Opinion on the Group: Half of them are weird, the rest are alright 

President Shinra: Closeness: 4/10, Trust Level 4/10 

When it comes to the President, Sephiroth holds his tongue a lot. While he morally dislikes the old man, he respects the conviction of his cause. His ambition. When given orders from Shinra himself, he follows them to the tee. While he does not know the truth yet, he will eventually come to kill this man. Good riddance when he does. 

Heidegger: Closeness: 8/10, Trust Level: 7/10 

Out of everyone on the board, Sephiroth finds his relationship with Heidegger to be the most fruitful. This is thanks to the Wutai War. He protected Heidegger and acted in his stead, leading the ShinRa forces on a grand conquest. Heidegger is the reason why he became a hero, a Legendary one at that. He holds this old man in high regard as both a mentor and a fatherly figure, he only wishes he wasn’t so stern on other people all the time.

Reeve Tuesti: Closeness: 5/10, Trust Level: 7/10 

 Sephiroth had first heard about Reeve when he was in his early teens, and while he’s only spoken to the man a couple of times, the Soldier believes that he has the best intentions in mind out of everyone on the board. He wishes that he was more socially inclined to speak with him but sadly, he rarely gets a chance to talk to him nor does he have that great of a motivation to approach him. If he needed someone to vent too though who wasn’t his inner circle of friends, Reeve would be a decent candidate. 

Palmer: Closeness: ?/10, Trust Level ?/10

Sephiroth has never actually spoken or done anything related with Palmer. He’s also probably another one of those people that the poor SOLDIER forgets the names off. In this case, Palmer is good old ‘Butter Fingers’. 

Scarlet: Closeness: 1/10, Trust Level: 2/10 

When Sephiroth first met Scarlet, he wouldn’t lie, she was quite the sight. But when he eventually learnt how she acted and her demeanour, his opinion on her quickly changed. He considered her as a nasty piece of work, the looks of a goddess but the attitude of a heartless wretch. He was always displeased when sharing a room with her, and conversations between them devolved into a contest of dry wit and sarcasm. What a bucket load of fun!

Professor Hojo: Closeness: 5/10, Trust Level: 2/10 

Ah yes, the best for last. Sephiroth’s pops. He always felt neglected, and always felt as if Hojo was this close to accidently killing him. Any time he asked for something, he was met with a caring smile and what he wanted but it didn’t matter when he’d have to spend most of his time inside a glass tube. The older he got, the more creeped out he felt with his father to the point where SOLDIER training became quite freeing. Even if it was hard, he didn’t want to have to stay with Hojo any longer than he needed too. Sephiroth despises Hojo. If he had a choice, he would’ve picked Gast. 

SOLDIER GANG- Opinion on the Group: Brotherhood, Loyalty, Family. 

Genesis Rhapsodos: Closeness: 10/10, Trust Level: 9/10 

Life wouldn’t be the same with a brother without a little sibling rivalry. Sephiroth sees Genesis as the older brother who always tries to beat him into shape, keep him on his toes. He couldn’t ask for a better training partner, nor a better friend. He feeds off of their competition, it what makes him strive harder to succeed. While he knows Genesis wishes he could have the title of hero, he at least is glad knowing that the huge burden on his shoulders isn’t on Genesis’ shoulders. He wants to spare one of his best friends that eternal weight. The poetry though? Maybe he could lighten up on. Sephiroth can only listen to the same verses of LOVELESS for so long before he gets bored or slaps the book out of his hands and tosses it into a river. 

Angeal Hewley: Closeness 10/10, Trust Level: 10/10

While Genesis is the brother that he possesses the rivalry with, Angeal is the brother that Sephiroth confides in the most when he’s in need of someone to speak too. There is a mutual understanding and respect between the two and Sephiroth considers their friendship to be one of the most important parts of his life, up there with his friendship with Genesis. They both ground him and remind him that they aren’t just SOLDIERS. Training with Angeal is like an honourable duel for Sephiroth, it isn’t as theatrical as with Genesis and a lot more pacey, less magic. 

Zack Fair: Closeness 9/10, Trust Level: 10/10

Sephiroth made it his business to take Angeal’s own student under his wing should he be otherwise encumbered with other things. As such, Sephiroth places a great deal of trust in Zack and wishes nothing but great success for the future hero in the making. Sephiroth sees him as someone with the potential to become even greater than he could ever be. Traits that he never really had. A true apprentice. 

Others

Aerith Gainsborough: Closeness: 9/10, Trust Level: 10/10 

They met when they were still kids, and formed a meticulous bond over what was happening between the two in Hojo’s lab. She was afraid, and so was he, but Sephiroth would put on a brave face and would often converse with her from behind the glass tubes that were their prison. When she eventuallyvanished along with her mother, Sephiroth was left distraught and quite upset. He wondered where she went, wondered why she left. He wouldn’t get his answer until later on in his life. Both had grown up, Sephiroth as a Hero and Aerith as a simple flower girl. They reformed their bond, with Sephiroth trusting her with any of his burdens. They also braid each others hair when given the chance! 

Cloud Strife: Closeness: 6/10, Trust Level: 6/10 

For the very brief time that he did get to meet Cloud, Sephiroth felt quite annoyed with the young upstart infantryman. Too much of a fanboy, saw too much of Zack in him. But he eventually warmed to the blonde as time went on. The only reason why Sephiroth allowed himself to get to know Cloud just a little bit better was because of Zack. He liked Cloud, but that didn’t last very long. 

[mittensmorgul]

aroundmyself

  I’m a little confused with ep. 8. I thought Adams...

so i guess there were people who were annoyed by our existence and people who are annoyed by your existence (in the fandom, not literally. people live your lives fully)

I was making a joke. and I suppose you didn’t read the post far enough to see the conclusion:

But then 15.08 did something shocking, and humanized Adam, and actually made me care about him. Finally he was a real person I could empathize with, and not a ghoul or a plot device, you know?

Because that’s all he ever was before. And the passion for him was just baffling to me. Especially when it was typically delivered in pointed “Supernatural sucks and here’s why” lists.

They barely mentioned a character for a decade. They told us if he said yes he'd go to Heaven. I was making a joke about that, because the whole thing-- especially 7-8 years ago, was ridiculous.

I guess here’s a little story about my personal history in this fandom.

When I first showed up in fandom, after having watched through s7 at the time, I saw all the memes (they were EVERYWHERE, like half the posts about Supernatural would end up with a gif reminding everyone that Adam was still in Hell... there were campaigns to bring Adam back...). I couldn't understand it. He was a one episode (well, three if you count being a ghoul in 4.19 and being Michael in 5.22) character that in the one episode we actually met him, wanted nothing to do with the Winchesters. I couldn't figure out why people were so desperate to have him back, or how he would even fit into the ongoing story.

The only reason they rolled with Dabb’s original Adam plotline was specifically because Adam would already be dead when they met him. That... was the condition on which they went with the episode pitch, because they had no way to fit a random Bonus Winchester into the story. Actually maybe go read that link in the original post of Dabb talking about the purpose of creating the character in the first place.

And it wasn't *my* theory to start with, it was a common theory I read in the meta community at the time. Because that's what we do... we talk about canon and theorize about what fills in the blanks. Adam was apparently a blank people wanted filled in.

Go back and look up old lists of "Plot Holes Supernatural Ignores" and Adam is at the top of every last one of those lists (and there were a LOT of those lists back in s8-9 or so-- new showrunner, people were hoping to have some of their issues addressed in canon, I guess? Maybe it was just that era of tumblr where people lived for lists like that? Blame Superwholock? I don't know). And a lot of those lists were written by people trying to make the point that “Supernatural is a bad and terrible show that nobody should watch.” So unfortunately for me, who arrived in fandom at just the right time and wanted to actually find other people who ENJOYED the show that I did, rather than just shit all over it, the whole “Adam is still in the cage!” argument got mentally lumped in with the rest of the dumb things (that 90% of weren’t actually plot holes... there are also posts that debunk most of those lists, as well). But we didn’t have any final, definitive word on Adam.

FOR YEARS.

He was mentioned in 6.11 as a sort of “false choice” for Dean-- do you really think he would even CONSIDER saving Adam from the cage over Sam? Right. It was a guilt move. (and the first time I watched 6.11, probably only a few days after watching 5.22 for the first time, where Michael told Dean that Adam “wasn’t home,” I PERSONALLY assumed that Adam had gone to Heaven, as he was promised. The show still gave me no reason to think otherwise, not even Death giving Dean a guilt trip over what he was attempting to do for Sam, since THAT was basically the point of the whole episode.)

He wasn’t mentioned again until 10.05, by Marie, who also wrote robots in space into her musical. She was writing FANFICTION, which... the Adam line felt like the same sort of fanfic wish that a lot of her other plot devices were.

And that was it... until we saw him on screen in 15.08. i.e. AFTER Chuck blew up his own story. Not through Dean’s entire AU!Michael arc in s14, not when they all went back to the cage in s11 and let Lucifer out... Michael was mentioned a couple of times, but never Adam. So what reason did we have to assume he hadn’t gotten exactly what he was promised in 5.18?

ETA, because this is key, after Sam was brought back and had his soul returned, he never ONCE mentioned that Adam was actually still in the cage with him all that time. NOT. ONCE. That seems kinda the thing Sam-- being a Good and Caring Human-- would’ve felt was something they could’t let stand, you know? If he had really been locked in that cage with Adam for that year and a half. So SAM’S reaction (or complete lack thereof) was the biggest bit of evidence for me that Adam was never actually in the cage. I didn’t believe that Sam could actually let it stand if Adam had really been in the cage. But apparently he could... I am kind of uncomfortable about what this revelation says about Sam now...

And I found a bunch of incredibly thoughtful, well-reasoned defenses of the theory I personally had understood while watching. And the show continued not addressing Adam. After a few years, you sort of have to accept canon as it stands and move on. Especially after reading the creator of the character’s intent in creating him in the first place. ESPECIALLY when said creator is now the showrunner:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184474002825/when-daniel-loflin-and-i-came-up-with-the-idea

The thing is, after s10, we all had even MORE fuel for our theory. After all, the second most common item on those “Lists of Why Supernatural Is Bad and You Should Feel Bad For Liking It” was Jimmy Novak. People 100% believed that Jimmy Novak was still rattling around inside Castiel, with the same fiery passion they still believed Adam was in the Cage.

This was another commonly debunked thing, often in the same posts and employing the identical headcanons and theories to fill in the blanks that were applied to Adam, because their situations were nearly identical. Angel possesses human--> angel explodes/is immolated/otherwise destroyed--> human soul goes to Heaven. At that time, there was actually MORE evidence to suggest that Adam was in Heaven than there was to suggest Jimmy was. Adam’s entire deal to say yes was predicated on it, while Jimmy only expected to go back to his “chained to a comet” experience with no hope of rest.

And then in 10.09 the show 100% confirmed that Jimmy had died the first time Cas was exploded (in 4.22, offscreen, we only saw the aftermath, so the video clip they used for the flashback was from 5.22, but the same thing happened in 4.22... so). If that wasn’t enough of a confirmation, we saw Jimmy and Amelia in Heaven in 10.20. That seemed, at the time, to be the definitive statement on what happens to human souls when their vessels are destroyed.

The show gave us little reason to believe that Adam wasn’t exactly where he was promised to go-- in Heaven.

And now, after we’ve learned about Chuck’s penchant for sending innocent people to Hell, and learned about the decade Adam and Michael spent with only themselves for company actually learning about one another and caring for one another... I am basically saying that the show found a way to actually make Adam and his story-- and the fact that it literally defies all other established canon-- interesting to me.

How... how is this... about you? A character created as a one-off joke in an episode that was basically one long Cousin Oliver gag, who was summarily wiped off the table by the end of the episode... but then repurposed for a Bigger Meta Plot Reason the following season... I find it FASCINATING that after being basically a joke in the show for the last decade, the writers have once again repurposed him for a Bigger Meta Plot Reason.

In case it’s not clear, I find this INCREDIBLY COOL, okay? I’m sorry your fave has never been my fave, and that I haven’t been holding a candle for his return all these years, but HOOBOY they got me interested in him now.

Maybe actually READ the posts you decide are a pointed attack on you personally before leaving bitter comments. Being impressed at a narrative callback that I was entirely prepared to hate is probably the best thing about s15 so far for me, personally, and that’s all my original post was attempting to state. With a bit of humor about my personal fandom experience. There was zero bitterness intended in any of this.

This show has over 300 episodes, and I’ve never been interested in descending into bitterness over a character who’s been absent from the narrative for a decade. As is my standard approach, I attempt to explain a thing as satisfactorily to MYSELF as possible, and then move on. It’s a healthy approach I highly recommend.

[polygon-streams]

April 30, 2019 - Mortal Kompat Story Mode Part 3

Content warnings: blood, gore, graphic violence, character death

Link to VOD

Summary: Pat plays Mortal Kombat 11 for the third time, making a good amount of progress and learning new things about the characters

Pat has maintenance workers over, has some sink problems. Issue is that water leaks thru his ceiling when his neighbor takes showers

Doesn’t know who he mains on Mortal Kombat anymore

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKE!!!!!!!! (mod MikeAM)

Pat has TWO CANS of drinks tonight (very fizzy)

Does NOT own jorts, “I’m not a jortsman, I’m not allowed to wear jorts” (I think this is a lie), “No jorts allowed, I shall not wear jorts. I wear jants (jean pants).” (This is true)

Pat will NOT install a fart toilet

Drinking a rattler tonight

Babycakesclaire gifted a sub to T-Pain [Watch Clip]

Says people made fun of him for saying “T-Pain” in his Polygon video so many times, says it was a grounding thing to help himself [Watch Clip]

Favorite song by TPain is U Up off of the new album

Says he “has the bad audio”, restarts the stream

Plays as Jax, doesn’t know his combos but figures them out

Asks chat if they would prefer big metal arms or big metal legs; Pat would have legs for The Kick™️

Gives a recap of the plot, says the word “mommy” a lot (that’s just how he is and I accept him)

Likes fight choreo, thinks they hire many professional people to do it

Jacqui is awesome

First Piss clip of the stream

Says “Dad fight dad fight dad fight” as the two versions of Jax fight each other

“I know all my moves, haha!......actually I don’t know any of my moves”

Mains as Jax just to do powerbombs

“This is a stupid looking hat, I’m sorry it’s a dumb looking hat. She deserves a better hat,” at Jacqui’s (sp????) hat.

Someone played Slow Yoshi in the middle of a fight

Jacqui’s dad betrayed her then disappeared. Pat: dads are complicated

Evil lady puts hat on, her power only grows stronger

Chat makes a lot of “I can’t believe you’ve done this” jokes

Pat opens a can of fizzy drink, chat alternates between making “ASMR” and “piss” jokes. Some folley ones too

Game talks about a character “I don’t know who the fuck Kharon is”

Characters descends like spider through the ceiling “oh. Ew.”

Pat makes an “I can’t believe you’ve done this” reference

The two Scropions fight. Pat: “God it’s me but stronger”

Pat wins the first round: “It’s a big fishy”

Gets attacked by other Scorpion w a good combo, wants to learn how to do that

Chat compliments Pat on his Scorpion playing abilities

Pat said he’s going to learn how to main Scorpion and Jax in this MK game. Mained Scorpion in last one

“Be a dude, not a dick”

Scorpion is killed by D’Vorah

“Nobody fuckin believes Scorpion”-- game framed Scorpion to look bad

Pat likes the frog jokes chat is making

“Hey Boy” clip played in a fight against Raiden

Raiden hits Scorpion w a blast as a “truth serum”. Pat calls it a dick move (Chat agrees)

Pat then plays as Raiden, but doesn’t want to because of how shitty he is “Cool. Nunchuck me. I deserve it”

Pat laughs at Piss clip played at a character's dramatic revelation and entrance

Pat: “I’m so confused.” So are we

There are a lot of timelines that explain costume changes

Pat needs to “check in on that toilet update real quick”

Pat as Raiden: “The only solution is that Liu Kang and I must kiss,” asks Faith to make it happen

Evil Lady makes Liu Kang disappear: “Da fuuuuuuqq?”

Chat makes norted memes

Agrees with Faith that the game “feels like fanfic”

Likes the guy who played Liu Kang in the movies; also played a guy named Ricky in another movie

“Yooooo that’s a blood boat”-- a rivaling boat comes up from the middle of the ocean

Praises actions scenes in MK; better than MCU and most action movies in general

Finally goes to check up on the toilet situation, Piss clip plays while he’s gone

Someone checked if there were Liu Kang and Raiden fanfics; apparently, there isn’t

Chat is wondering what happened to Pat’s toilet, “did he poop too hard?”

Pat comes back and asks if everyone was good (probably not)

He thought it was his roomate being a sloppy showerer, roommate asks what was up and Pat said “oh I thought it was you”. Then found water coming from lights on ceiling and got people to fix the problem

We are in the home stretch of MK, according to safetydrew

“Jax is my father”

Jax beats up a bunch of people to ‘make things right’, Pat: “Yes, yes, fuck yes”

Raiden defeats enemy, “caught and compromised” plays perfectly over the scene [Watch Clip]

Liu Kang got norted by himself (absorbed?? Into one body?? I think????)

Liu: “You will have to kill me” Raiden: “I would rather save you” Chat cheers for them to kiss

Raiden and Liu Kang fuse and become a God???? What???????????

Character rips a person’s heart out, Pat: “He just ripped his fucking hort out.” Chat spams “hort”

Super Liu floats in the sky, sends a meteor out and kills a bunch of monsters

Super Liu super punches more monsters

Time starts rewinding, Fire God Liu Kang fights Kitana, then some more people

Lots of fighting in this Mortal Kombat game

During Cetrion fight, Pat: “She just grew a tree just to nail me to it.”

Cetrion gives her soul to Big Evil Lady Mom

MikeAM advises Pat to just do a bunch of flying kicks during the boss battle

“WOW she mean, woofadoof”-- Pat @ the final boss

Pat says he will never fight with honor

Pat fails the fight, Liu Kang gets his head chopped off

Donkey Kong has Died plays as the head rolls (We’ve unlocked the basketball timeline)

Pat thinks about trying the easier mode if he fails a few more times

Hops into the settings to turn on easy mode

Evil Lady (Kronica) turned into Johnny Cage in the middle of the fight??

Fire God Liu Kang and Evil lady go up to spAAACEEEE

Kronica says she’s better than Liu Kang bc he’s a god and she’s a titan?? I thought it went the other way

Pat comments on how it’s weird to have Johnny Cage fight for her at points in the battle

Pat finally wins the match, Kronica gets turned to glass and shattered. The Caught and Compromised clip plays

Now Liu Kang is in charge of watching over the Earth realm, mortal Raiden helps (“Raiden's gonna diiee”)

Game ends just like that, credits roll, Pat: “Oh that’s it, that’s how it ends?!”

Comments on how the next MK can be about literally whatever they want, bc this game set it back to square 1

Cassie apparently has a fatality where she can kick someone in the nuts and have their skeleton pop out “that’s really good”

Pat’s gonna start picking characters to learn moves of and train w them

Pat says apparently there’s three different endings. Not major changes, just is dictated by how long it takes you to defeat the final boss

He got two (2) new maps

Wants to learn the kicking people in the nuts to make their skeleton pop out lmao

“I guess I need to unlock the dick kick”

Does a fatality that involves the character getting ripped in half, then a tomato getting thrown at them

Looked up the Cassie fatality and tries it

Her opponent literally did a piss right before the fight. He really did. Pat lost that fight

Pat messed up the fatality

Decided to try to Krypt before raiding Thomas’ stream

Same actor who played Shang Tsung in the movies played him in the game. Pat geeks out

Pat says this Krypt is better than in other games bc it used to be a dungeon crawl to find things. Now, you just open chests

Pat finds a hammer, uses it to get Koins™

The raid guys should make a MK movie. Apparently the recent John Wick has them fight the raid guys

Pat doesn’t know how much he should drink before going to see the new John Wick. He’s going w Ryan at the Alamo (I assume a theatre)

Pat finds a gong and feels he must hit it with the hammer

Pat says the Krypt changes what loot it has based on what time of day you go to see it

Pat doesn’t know whether or not there’s going to be fights in this area, or if it’s just opening chests

He still thinks he’s going to work w Scorpion and Jax to get good at to learn combos (also probably Jacqui). Wants to do a group play session at some time

Charlie is sneezing!!

Pat’ll be back on Thursday (8 pm EST) with Donk Souls again (if that doesn’t work, he’ll find something else)

Charlie went up on Pat’s lap!!!

Abby streams on Tuesdays at the same time as Pat. He says you should watch both simultaneously

Sent chat to raid Thomas

End of stream

[gal-liveblogs]

A parting gift from an old flame, it was given to one of my splinters in a distant timeline before ending up in my posession via lots of complicated shit that I don't wanna get into.

O.K. So someone gave some version of Dirk Hussie painting of a quarterback fighting a horse. I have an intense desire to know who.

"Dear Dirk, In memory of our precious time together. When you look at it, think of me, and be reminded that while we breathe, we Hope." -B.O

Oh fuck me, it was Obama. Jesus Christ, I can’t.

O.K., I had been wondering what this stuff in the corner was, but didn’t comment as I couldn’t think of how to describe them. Now, though, we have a bigger picture and that’s a cherub paint set and an old troll horn headband. Probably Calliope’s stuff.

This set of paints and the charred remains of my HORNED HEADBAND are the only surviving relics of the first and last WORLDWIDE INTERSPECIES ROLEPLAYING SESSION we ever attempted on Earth C.

Oh. Not Calliope’s. They are, in fact, Dirk’s. The Interspecies Roleplaying Session was probably orchestrated by Calliope, though.

Calliope got it into their head that dressing up in cosplay would be a fun community activity.

Right on the money!

In other news Dirk’s trollsona has a unicorn horn. So it’s not that the headband was tilted and the other horn was hidden behind the paint set like I thought. Also Dave’s trollsona has dick horns. I am not surprised. Weird how Dirk, Dave, and Rose didn’t bother to give themselves black hair. Rose gave herself yellow scleras, but couldn’t commit to the black hair it seems.

Vantas had some very uncharitable things to say about the idea, and for once in his life I think he was right.

I mean, it’s like when white people dress as Native Americans for Halloween. I can understand his anger. Though even if he didn’t have a good reason Karkat would have still been angry, I’m sure.

Plants are basically the ideal friends. They don't constantly question your decisions, or try and undermine your authority, or suggest that perhaps you should try talking about your feelings every once in a while.

I think Dirk’s issue with Homestuck getting too feelings-y was that he doesn’t like talking about his own feelings.

Wait. Does Terezi have some form of narrative control? She made it clear in one of the Epilogues that she was aware of Dirk’s narration. I’m going to assume that while Terezi herself can’t narrate, she can submit commands.

DIRK: I see you've found the command terminal.

Oh. So she can submit commands not through her own power, but because there’s one of those exile command terminals things on this ship. O.K. They have everything else on this ship, might as well have one of those too.

TEREZI: 1T S33MS TO M3 L1K3 L3TT1NG M3 BOSS YOU 4ROUND FOR 4 F3W M1NUT3S 1S TH3 L34ST YOU COULD DO TO M4K3 UP FOR WH4T PROB4BLY 4MOUNTS TO TH3 MOST BOR1NG 1NT3RG4L4CT1C VOY4G3 1N TH3 H1STORY OF SP4C3 TR4V3L

I don’t know, I think Jade’s voyage after Davesprite and John blew up might be a good contender for that title. Then again Jade had practice not having anyone with a degree of intelligence around to talk to. Then again she still had the internet on her island and could talk to her friends, unlike on the Prospit ship.

TEREZI: 4ND CONS1D3R1NG TH4T ON3 OF MY TWO PR1OR 3XP3R13NC3S 1NVOLV3D SCOUR1NG TH3 FR4CTUR3D, D1S1NT3GR4TING CORPS3 OF P4R4DOX SP4C3 FOR... WH4T F3LT L1K3 4N 3T3RN1TY,

Oh yeah, I guess that would also be a contender too.

DIRK: What, Heart and Mind?

TEREZI: M1ND 4ND H34RT, Y3S

I have a feeling Terezi purposefully switched them around to make her aspect first and to just be a tiny annoyance to Dirk.

Dirk, how dare you use Complacency of the Learned to even out a chair! Does Rose know you’re using her book like that?

> L1B3R4T3 L4LOND14N L1BR4RY

Thank you, Terezi.

TEREZI: DO3S ROS3 KNOW YOUV3 B33N US1NG ON3 OF H3R NOV3LS TO PROP UP TH4T DISGUST1NGLY T4CKY CH41R?

Terezi and I are one.

DIRK: (I captchalogue the book into my MSPA MODUS. Forget HASH MAPS, PICTIONARY, or any of that shit. This thing is where it's at.)

What the FUCK does MSPA Modus entail???

TEREZI: 4W WH4T TH3 H3LL

TEREZI: TH3 CH41R W4S SUPPOS3D TO F4LL OV3R

DIRK: I'm not sure I understand. Why would it? The four legs are all touching the floor.

TEREZI: ...

DIRK: Try not to think about it too hard.

Ha!

TEREZI: FOR SOM3ON3 WHO CL41MS TO KNOW 4 LOT 4BOUT JOK3S YOU SUR3 H4V3 CONT1NU3D TO S4Y B4S1C4LLY NOTH1NG FUNNY 3V3R

Oooh, burn! When I get around to doing my fourth read of Homestuck I’ll have to tally any instances of Dirk telling a funny joke just to see if this holds up.

For a second there I was really confused over what fractal nonsense was happening here, but then I remembered Dirk is controlling the narrative. That includes the pictures, not just the text.

DIRK: Not many really understand that when pleasure is taken seriously enough, it can easily mimic the appearance of business, just as when irony is practiced with enough passion, it becomes indistinguishable from sincerity.

So Dirk’s idea of loosening up and having fun, whether for the irony or sincerity of it, is drawing himself in romantic situations with Jake. Yeah, that pans out.

(Seriously, why is Jake such a heartthrob? John is described as dorky looking and he and Jake are practically carbon copies.)

TEREZI: DO YOU... W4NT TO T4LK 4BOUT 1T...?

DIRK: Absolutely the fuck not.

Terezi, did you seriously expect him to answer with anything else?

This feels like a meme image.

TEREZI: TH4TS TH3 ON3 TH1NG 1 4LW4YS FOUND D1FF1CULT 4BOUT M4K1NG COM1CS W1TH D4V3

TEREZI: YOU H4V3 TO DR4W 333333V3RYTH1NG >:[

God, hard agree. This is why I could never have a comic. As much as I’d like to I just get burnt out with all that tedious drawing.

DIRK: Exactly. But sometimes, visuals are just a more effective way of doing things.

DIRK: So finding the right combination of words and pictures to communicate an idea efficiently is where the artistry lies.

DIRK: And sometimes that means dispensing with one or the other entirely when appropriate.

See, this is why the Homestuck style comic is so interesting. I don’t think other comics combined panels and text like Homestuck did, and now there are so many copies of the style out there!

Woah, I feel like I just got whiplash with the disappearance of the panels!

For the sake of precedent, I'm saying that we can cloak the visuals entirely and continue with narration alone, replacing the panel with a block of text like this, which we can call a “prattle” from now on.

Right, so when we go into a more book-like format it’s a prattle. Got it. Good name, since it’s just Dirk droning on to himself.

So then Dirk narrates Terezi using the command terminal to get him to do a slew of bizarre actions. He says it’s to show how much can be done in a short amount of time (a single block of text as opposed to 50 panels), but I have a feeling the real reason is so that we, the readers, don’t actually get to see him doing any of this stuff. He doesn;t get an audience to such an embarrassing display and he gets to rub our faces in it.

She has me undertake the most intense workout routine paradox space has ever seen, all while whistling the entire discography of the Swedish pop group ABBA, which she's taken a liking to recently for some god forsaken reason.

Terezi likes ABBA? That’s amazing. I need a video of Terezi singing and dancing along with Dancing Queen now.

(... And which coincidentally was a favorite cultural weapon of Her Imperious Condescension back on Earth, centuries ago. Mamma Mia in particular was repurposed as a sugar-coated propagandist piece, calling for worldwide submission to the Batterwitch's dictatorship. "My my, how can I resist ya," as the old saying goes.)

HOLY SHIT. Now I just had a headcanon that all trolls love ABBA.

DIRK: I told you I could have fun.

TEREZI: Y34H YOU SUR3 SHOW3ED M3 1 GU3SS

Dirk, are you saying Terezi purposefully trying to torture you was actually fun? ... Are you secretly a masochist? Do you... Do you like being bossed around and forced to do ridiculous stunts? I am learning so many things about Dirk I never expected.

TEREZI: WH4TS TH1S TH1NG OV3R 1N TH3 CORN3R

TEREZI: UND3RN34TH TH1S B1G SH33T TH1NG

DIRK: Don't look in there.

TEREZI: OH SHHHH 1M ONLY T4K1NG 4 P33K

DIRK: Terezi.

DIRK: Listen to me.

TEREZI: 1M JUST L1FT1NG UP TH3 COV3R 4 L1TTL3 W4YS!!!!

DIRK: Terezi please stop talking right now.

TEREZI: D1RK HOLY SH1T

TEREZI: W

Well that sounds sinister. With Dirk I would think ti was a robot of some kind, but given his new hobby of collecting things from various timelines and his skill in building it could literally be anything.

At first I was confused at the three panels that follow, showing Dirk’s room in disarray, but then I rememebered that Dirk did a whole bunch of shit we didn’t get to see because we were in Book Time.

ROSEBOT: So, I guess today is finally the day everything's been heading towards.

I honestly thought she was going to say “today is finally the day we fuck everything up”. Not sure if the actual line counts as a callback or not now.

ROSEBOT: Instead, it feels like the very notion of fortune is simply out of the question as a means of describing the potential outcome.

ROSEBOT: As though in this moment, luck isn't either strictly real or not real, or somewhere inbetween, but absent of meaning completely.

ROSEBOT: Luck took one look at our itinerary from here on out and said you'll just have to go on without me.

So it’s Schrödinger's Luck of Who Gives a Shit? Been reading so much Dirk I tried to channel my inner Strider there. Moving on I feel like this is a very bad situation for Rose to be in. Her Aspect is luck, so what does it mean for her when she’s in a position like this?

ROSEBOT: You aren't going to believe this, but it turns out that the deranged horny ramblings of a spurned anime-obsessive have essentially no therapeutic properties whatsoever.

Rose is a gift.

I wish I could copy and paste Dirk’s whole spiel about the ocean, both literal and metaphorical, but since it’s Dirk it’s just way too long. Suffice to say I thought it was some lovely writing and really got the the meat of who Dirk is as a character. His loneliness, his fear, his eventual peace, what it means to be an ascended Prince of Heart. Good stuff.

DIRK: What's that noise I'm hearing.

DIRK: It sounds a little bit like a cat being caught in a ventilation fan. A sort of...

DIRK: Inhuman screeching, combined with the grinding of metal.

DIRK: Are we even going to make it to the ground?

ROSEBOT: Oh, no,

ROSEBOT: The ship's fine as far as I can tell.

ROSEBOT: That's just Terezi laughing.

Terezi is also a gift.

Then we end with a rather pretty image of the ship coming in for a crash landing on an Earth-like planet. I would share it, but it’s a tall panel and this post is long enough as it is. Very curious what this planet is. I would guess it might be a Earth, but the landmasses don’t look like any on Earth. Could be artistic license,  but I feel like we have too many Earths as it is. Let’s get some new planets up in here!