#where is the shot of new Laura content to get me through the week

[laura-de-milf]

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[freaoscanlin]

Put It On the List

3283 words, rated PG. Clint/Laura, Laura & Natasha, Natasha & Clint.

A few months before the events of Captain America: Winter Soldier, the spy life interrupts the Barton family on a normal errand. Perhaps bringing the scary ex-Russian spy was a mistake. She thinks so, at any rate.

A/N: I wrote this as something of a prelude to an Endgame fix-it fic in progress. It predates everything in that fic and it's cute, so I'm tossing it up here for now.

“Everybody’s allowed one fun item, too. House rules.”

“Not sure they sell anything I consider fun here,” Natasha said, glancing up at the rafters dubiously, “but I’ll take it under consideration.”

“Dirty,” Clint said, walking by with a green bunch of bananas.

“Sorry we can’t provide more excitement than grocery shopping,” Laura said as she pulled out the stash of reusable bags from the trunk.

“It’s fine.”

Laura was of the opinion that a vacation should be taken somewhere exotic, or at least filled with bottomless alcoholic beverages, especially given as young and unfettered as Natasha was. But the woman who had recently become Captain America’s partner at SHIELD had apparently decided a week off merited a trip to Iowa and she had been absolutely content to tag along on family outings with no apparently sign of boredom at all.

“It’s okay,” Clint said, hopping out from the driver’s seat as Natasha unhooked Lila from her car seat. “Nat’s secretly boring at heart. It’s the best kept secret at SHIELD.”

Natasha gave him a puzzled look. “Now, that can’t be true if even you’ve figured it out.”

“Excellent burn,” Laura said, laughing. “You really should come stay more often.”

“Somebody needs to keep Cap in line, otherwise I would.” Nat easily swung Lila onto her hip, following the other three as Cooper grabbed onto his father’s hand.

Laura had already spent the entire dinner the night before peppering her with questions about working with Steve Rogers, the Captain America from the comments. Clint had mentioned him a few times after that kerfuffle in New York with the Chitauri (“Nice guy, wears khakis.”), but Natasha had the inside scoop. And more willingness to share if he was as attractive in person as he looked on TV in that ridiculous star-striped uniform (“If you like that square-jawed All-American sort of thing, sure.”). Laura had even pointed out that, hey, if he was single...

“Yes, the ex-Russian spy and the American war hero. It sounds too much like a bad eighties movie.” Natasha had helped herself to more creamed corn. “I think I’ll have to find him a girlfriend to avoid ever having to answer that question again.”

“Hey,” Laura had said, protesting.

“Fair,” Clint had agreed.

And now here was the ex-Russian spy herself tagging along at the grocery store, carrying Lila and looking like there wasn’t anyplace else she’d rather be than the big chain grocery store a few towns over because they had a better selection of gluten free snacks than the Shop A Lot back home. She trailed along as Clint took over the cart, Lila kicking her legs happily from the child’s seat atop.

“You’ve got the list?” Laura asked.

“I thought you had it?”

“Clint, I said you need to grab it off the fridge before we left. Weren’t you listening?”

“I always listen to you. But it wasn’t on the fridge, so I thought you had it.”

“That’s ridiculous, I put it there last night and—” Laura turned to see Natasha silently holding it out, eyebrows high. “Oh, that works. Thanks, Natasha.”

A half-shrug. “He would’ve forgotten it.”

“They’re impugning my honor,” Clint told Lila and Cooper, the former of whom giggled back at him. “What’s first? Edible or not edible?”

“Food first. Oh, hey, did you remember to put the popsicle sticks on here? Cooper’s day camp was asking people to donate supplies, and I put us down for those.”

“Yes, I absolutely did that. For no reason whatsoever, may I see the list?” Clint grabbed it away and underhandedly passed it to Natasha. Since Laura caught the move, she figured they weren’t actually trying to hide it.

When the list returned to her, “popsicle sticks” was written on the appropriate line in slightly loopy handwriting. “Cute,” Laura said. “Also, if there’s food you want that we don’t have at the house, make sure you put it in, Nat.”

“I’m fine.”

“Okay. Just keep it in mind.” Laura smirked. “Everybody’s allowed one fun item, too. House rules.”

“Not sure they sell anything I consider fun here,” Natasha said, glancing up at the rafters dubiously, “but I’ll take it under consideration.”

“Dirty,” Clint said, walking by with a green bunch of bananas.

Natasha rolled her eyes at him, but a small smile broke out when Laura laughed. Later, Laura noticed that a small bag of nectarines had been added to the cart.

Normally she did this errand without two spies in tow, which was a matter of getting the groceries as quickly as possible and especially speeding through the aisles with the brightly colored boxes that would make Cooper and now Lila whine. Clint’s paycheck was more than generous enough to cover their expenses, but she liked to keep the sugar down at least a little. Grocery trips could be a nightmare from that alone. But now she could send one of them down the danger aisles, while the other distracted the children.

She could get used to this.

Of course, she could have just sent Clint or even Natasha to do the shopping—or gone herself—and she imagined they’d have it done in less than a fifth of the time it took them to wander the aisles now. But Clint had been called on so many SHIELD missions lately that it was nice to just have some family time together.

She was about to suggest they hit up the putt putt course on the way home when Clint’s body language snapped into readiness. On the other side of the cart, Natasha turned away in what most people would deem a casual fashion, but Laura was surprised to see tension running across the line of her shoulders as well.

Instantly, she began to turn her head, to see what had set them both off.

“Don’t look,” Natasha said, Clint echoing her a split-second later.

Cold panic sprang up, but Laura froze in place. The air conditioning turned abruptly frigid. In the basket, Lila had conked out, wheezing a little, and Laura had never been so grateful for her daughter’s ability to fall asleep anywhere.

“This way,” Clint said in a murmur, scooping up Cooper. To strangers, it would never look out of the ordinary, but Laura knew her husband too well to be fooled. And his partner, too, apparently, for she could sense something amiss as Natasha fell in step behind her. At the end of the aisle, away from the registers and most of the store, Clint began shoving aside various things in the cart to deposit Cooper in there. He glanced at Laura. “It’ll be okay, honey. Nat, are they here for you or me?”

“Me.” The word was flat. “They’re scoping out women.”

“Who? Who’s here for what?”

She’d seen Clint and Natasha’s silent conversations before, usually at holiday dinners, but those were always warm and amused. Now, Laura was treated to the fact that they seemingly had their own entire language—and the ability to hold arguments with little more than a few nods and pointed looks.

“Mom, what’s going on?” Cooper asked. “Dad put the stuff back wrong.”

“I know. It’s okay, though. The store employees will know where to put it back properly.” Her pulse had begun to hammer, but Laura did her best to keep her hands steady as she petted Lila’s bent head.

“Fine, you win,” Natasha said, the first words she’d spoken aloud. “Where?”

“Northeast corner, break room.” Clint collected an oversized bucket of licorice, and as Laura and Cooper gawked at him, popped it open and dumped the individually wrapped candies into the cart.

Natasha dropped her phone into it and grabbed Laura’s purse.

“What? Hey, don’t—”

Natasha pulled out a few items, including Laura’s phone. This she dumped in the bucket. An unfamiliar black box, she tossed to Clint. Laura stared mournfully at the shimmery blue phone case bought off of Etsy only last week as the entire bucket was hidden on a shelf behind a case of gum. Clint tossed his hooded jacket to Natasha, gave Laura one brief, heart-stopping look, tousled Cooper’s hair, kissed Lila on the head, and strode off without looking back.

“We were followed,” Natasha said in an undertone, pulling the hood over her distinctive hair.

Followed could mean anything from evil assassins to space aliens at this point, and both of those options led to nauseating conclusions. But Natasha shot her a look, so Laura nodded and swallowed back any panic. And then she changed again, quicksilver just like Clint, so that she was bright and happy Auntie Natasha once more. She picked up Cooper out of the basket and held onto his hand, swinging it cheerfully. “Time to play a new fun game. It’s called ‘Let’s be invisible.’”

“How do you play?”

“Our job,” and Natasha actually hunkered down so that she was on eye level with Cooper, “is to get all the way there,” she pointed to the back of the store, “as fast as we can without running. Because if we run, we won’t be invisible anymore.”

“This is a silly game, Auntie Nat.”

“That’s half the fun, isn’t it? Shh, come with me.” Natasha rose and made brief eye contact with Laura, then headed down the aisle in the opposite direction from Clint. She walked briskly, but not fast enough to draw attention, and Laura had to follow. “Clint’s scoping things out,” she said in a low voice as Laura caught up with the sleeping Lila. “He’ll be fine. I’m taking you and the kids to hide.”

“Are you going to stay with us?”

“You’ll be safe.”

So that was a no. Because she knew her friend well enough, she knew Natasha was tense and watchful, but not a single thing about her betrayed that fact. Natasha didn’t lead them straight to wherever they were going, either. They crossed the store through random aisles, first through the art department and then sporting goods, and Laura’s heart sank as she noticed they were approaching the toy department. They were never escaping without at least one meltdown.

But Natasha surprised her by leaning down and whispering something to Cooper that had him giggling. And right on through they went without a single problem.

“Shh,” Natasha said to Cooper as she pushed open the door to a break room. She peeked inside, then jerked her head for Laura to follow.

“What are we doing, Auntie Nat?” Cooper asked as Natasha immediately climbed onto a table and reached for the ceiling.

“New part of the game,” Natasha said.

Laura looked at the human-sized trap door she’d opened and thought Oh no.

“You get to go up there,” Natasha said. “And it’ll be like hide and seek.”

Cooper’s expression suddenly shouted that he found the prospect of invisibility much less enchanting now. “It looks scary.”

“I’ll be with you,” Laura said. “The whole time. We’ll be invisible together, okay?”

“You first, and I’ll hand them up,” Natasha said.

Laura clambered gingerly onto the table, wishing she’d worn better shoes for this. She put her foot into Natasha’s cupped hands and hauled herself into a very, very dusty vent. Darkness surrounded her and she thought Oh, no. Cooper needed a nightlight on the best of nights. Her son was far cleverer than most; even with Natasha’s easy cheer, he could clearly tell something was off. And if he began crying, Lila was bound to wake as well. Keeping them both quiet would be beyond impossible.

Natasha passed Lila up first, and the toddler barely even stirred. Before she could lift Cooper, she hopped off the table and down to his level. Laura couldn’t hear what she said, but she saw Cooper nod and hold his arms up, completely trusting.

When Natasha lifted him up into the vent, he had his chubby little fist wrapped around a little flashlight. Laura hadn’t even seen Natasha pull that from the shelf, though she recognized it as being from sporting goods. Cooper waved it about, wildly.

“I couldn’t grab much,” Natasha said, hauling herself up so that she hung half off the trap door. Laura would kill for that kind of core strength. She slid over two coloring books and crayons. “Sorry about that. Stay here until Clint or I come to get you. If somebody comes in, we’re invisible, right?”

“Invisible,” Cooper agreed, scrambling for the coloring books.

“Good man.” Natasha reached up to ruffle his hair like Clint had done. She glanced about the air vent in a distinctly sardonic way. “Cozy.”

“Stay safe.”

“Will do.” She raised an eyebrow at Laura, and disappeared down the hatch. A few seconds later, the trapdoor slid back into place, leaving Laura in a dark vent with her children and no cell phone to keep them company.

She had to remind herself that they were lucky something like this hadn’t happened before, though that felt like cold comfort when everything smelled like dust. She shifted the sleeping Lila in her arms. “Here, set it here,” she said, helping Cooper open the coloring book. “What shall we color first, huh?”

* * * *

Nearly eleven minutes later, Natasha knelt down next to the man she’d cornered in Home and Garden and resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose. “Coincidence.”

“Yup.” Clint sounded close to laughter, the traitor.

“The whole thing. Coincidence.”

“Looks that way.”

Natasha sat down hard on the bottom shelf, which held giant sacks of birdseed. Slamming his head into those rather than the concrete floor was probably the only reason the thug was even still breathing. She’d need to hide the body soon, and alert SHIELD, but she had a few minutes to recover. The cell phone she’d stolen out of his pocket after their fight didn’t show an image of her, as she’d expected, but a completely random woman who looked nothing like Natasha outside of being the same height.

It had definitely been a hit, but she hadn’t been the target.

At least they’d saved some random woman, so there was that.

“We should’ve known they weren’t here for you when there were only two of them,” Clint said over the earpiece. He’d teased her about stashing them in Laura’s purse before they left, the traitor. And look who’d been correct to do so. It had kept them in contact as he’d stalked his own target back to the clearance section in the back. “Mine’s taken care of. You?”

“One minute.” She hauled the man bodily onto the shelf and tossed sacks of birdseed over him.

“I’ll get the phones and swing by to steal the surveillance. You fetch Laura and the kids.”

Natasha winced. The last thing she wanted to do was face Laura after ruining this outing for everybody. “I think they’d rather see their daddy after being stuffed in a dark place out of nowhere.”

“Nah, Auntie Nat is just as good,” Clint said. “Face it, you’re part of the family now, god help you.”

“Yeah, part of the family that can’t even let us go grocery shopping without disaster striking.”

There was a warm laugh from the other side of the comms. “Disaster? This is nothing compared to getting two small children through the cereal aisle without a tantrum, Romanoff.”

Natasha, reaching up to fix the braids that had become disordered during the scuffle, wrinkled her nose. She debated whether or not to swing by the staff restrooms on the way and clean up the lucky hit the thug had landed, but decided it was more important to get la familia Barton out of the vents quickly. The less time the children spent in a dark, scary place, the better.

She resolutely did not think of the absolute darkness of thatshipping container, which unfortunately brought the thoughts closer to the surface than she liked.

But she also didn’t want to scare the children, so she grabbed a hand towel off an endcap as she passed, and dabbed at her face.

Mercifully, the break room remained empty when she stepped in. “All clear,” she said, moving the table back under the trap door. “Invisible game’s over.”

From inside, she heard thumping. “Auntie Nat!”

“Cooper, wait—” was the only warning she had before the trap door opened and Cooper launched himself at her.

She snatched him out of the air, and absolutely did not think about what could have happened if she’d been slower to react. “Whoa, okay. Excited to get out of there, huh?” Laura’s white face appeared over the edge, eyes wide. Natasha mouthed he’s fine back at her. “Here, climb down, let me help your mom and your sister out.”

“I stayed so-o-o-o quiet,” Cooper said. “We colored in a dinosaur for you, but we didn’t know your favorite color so I picked red like your hair. What is your favorite color? There’s another dinosaur on the page, so if it’s not red, I can use that color instead.”

“I do like red a lot.” Natasha thought about it. “Purple, too, maybe.”

“You can’t have purple, that’s Dad’s favorite color.”

“Coop, more than one person can have purple as their favorite color,” Laura said, transferring Lila down to Natasha. Mercifully the baby had slept through all of it. “I like purple, too, remember?”

Cooper wrinkled his nose at that. “Okay, fine. I’ll make it purple.”

“I can’t wait to see it,” Natasha promised. Once the entire family had been retrieved, she pushed the trap door back into place. Of course Clint had scouted this spot months ago. His paranoia remained legendary. “Family’s secure, Barton.”

“Got it,” Clint said. “Heading to the front.”

“Meet you there,” Natasha said. To the others with her, she tilted her head toward the door. “Ready to get out of here?”

Laura looked more or less composed, which Natasha had to credit her for. Civilians rarely handled those kinds of curveballs well, but she’d been married to Clint for a decade. It stood to reason this might not even be the first time something like this had happened. Her grip on the sleeping Lila remained tight. “Coop, hold Auntie Nat’s hand, okay? Humor me.”

“All right, I guess.”

“Everything good?” Laura asked.

“False alarm,” Natasha said.

One eyebrow went up. “A false alarm gave you a split lip?”

Natasha worked at it with her tongue, scrunching her nose at the brief spark of pain. “Just another exciting day in our line of work. It all turned out okay, if you ignore that we were unsuccessful in our primary objective.”

Laura looked blank, so Natasha prompted: “Getting the groceries, Barton.”

“Pfft, whatever. We’ll get takeout. We’ll consider it an adventure, and it won’t even be the first one today. Hopefully there will be less dust this time.” Laura leaned over, conspiratorially. “I am getting my phone back, right? I really like the case, and it’ll take forever to get another one like it.”

Years of espionage training kept Natasha from staring at her like she’d sprouted a second head. Clint had told her years before that his wife was far more pragmatic than either of them, but she’d never had a chance to witness it in action before. She almost wanted to ask if this was some kind of backwoods Midwestern thing, but it seemed better not to do that.

So she settled into a helpless laugh. “Yes, we’ll get your phone back. The case is really cute.”

“Good. I knew you’d agree.” Laura squeezed her shoulder with her free hand, and it felt more like a thank you than Natasha had ever received after years and years on the job.

“One point,” Natasha said, feeling a tiny bit shy as as she pulled out a package she’d swiped on their trip through the store earlier. “We should probably pay for the coloring books. And these.”

Laura looked down at the bag of popsicle sticks and laughed. “You really are a hero.”

FIN

(the target was a leaked witsec hit. Bad timing all around)

[dreaminae]

We All Need The One Friend

Chapter 15

Sure, distance makes the heart grow fonder, but it also drives the brain aloof. Or so, that was Liv's take on her current situation. Almost four weeks went by since the big family dinner blowout where Billy and Jordan learned of Liv's drinking. Four weeks since her father's overwhelming disappointment swallowed Olivia whole with a growing fear of being sent away for help once more. Four weeks since her fear led to Liv, running away for help from the one person who she hadn't been in contact with for months -- her sponsor. And four weeks since Liv was giving a large wake-up call when she found her former sponsor behind bars for attempting to steal from her very own parents.

That night Olivia saw what could be her possible future if she didn't receive proper treatment while she still had the chance. Despite her fear of being sent away, she returned home after hours of dodging calls and texts from her loved ones. She walked into her home ready to accept the help, no matter the consequences. And perhaps that why fate played into her hands.

Fore when Olivia returned home, she found both her parents welcomed her with open arms, simply content that she was alright. Following the long night, Liv was surprised to find her family already with a suitable compromise. Instead of shipping her away, Billy and Laura decided upon an intensive program that allowed Liv to remain at home while she recovered.

Later into that evening, Spencer dropped by for what they both knew would be their last moment together for a long term. Acknowledging that they both had things to work on, they agreed to delay their romance until they were both in a good place to be together for real. They weren't breaking up or taking back the feelings they once declared. No, they were -- as Liv put it that night -- 'playing the long game'. Sealing their goodbye with a heartfelt kiss, they parted ways.

Focused on her recovery, Olivia found a new sponsor and confidant in Nurse Joy. Admitting her dependency upon Alcohol, and accepting responsibility for falling off the wagon, Olivia began her road to recovery. Meanwhile, Spencer centered his time on football and plotting his plan to bring Crenshaw a state championship.

Ignoring their constant desire to be together they cut off all physical communication, choosing to stick to the everyday messages to check in on one another. It wasn't until the night of Jordan's second concussion they were able to be in each other's arms.

Utilizing each other as helping shoulder through damaging announcement of Jordan's future in football, they found comfort in their buried affections. Having each other's back when Simone dropped the marriage reveal, Spencer and Liv supported each other when confronted by Billy and Laura.

The secret marriage only adding to Liv's troubled life as Laura grounded her into the next century for her deceit. Life toppled their trivial matter with the death of Tamika, shaking Olivia's inner social justice warrior to its full-frontal.

From leaking footage of Tamika's wrongful death to protesting for the indictment of the guilty officers, Liv found something bigger to be a part of. Her best intentions leading to backfire as Laura took the heat of alleged bigoted D.A. Learning to accept her mistakes, Liv tried to make the best of a complicated issue.

She and Kia's devotion to cause, sparking Spencer to follow suit, persuading his team to take a knee during their most important game. Inspiring by the Crenshaw team their opponents took a knee in protest. As a result of more football teams following Crenshaw's players in taking a knee, Crenshaw was granted another shot at the state championship.

Everything seemed to play into Liv and Spencer's hands, except the main thing they both desired since summer. It was all in a matter of timing, and they both couldn't help but anticipate when that moment would finally arrive.

So when they found themselves planning a surprise party in honor of Spencer's mom earning her college degree, the anticipation rose to a new peak.

"So no gouging out my eyes?" Liv playfully joked, allowing herself to make a joke of the foolish comments people were making about her online.

Spencer scoffed as if insulted. "What, those pretty eyes? You crazy." His eyes drifted from the direction of her eyes to her lips.

Olivia smiled softly as he quickly shifted back to their original conversation, unsure if now was the right time for them to share that type of moment. "You gon' help me fix this came or what?" He questioned with a crooked grin.

"Yes," Liv replied with a cheeky grin as she hopped from her seat, wondering how long he'd wait to make a move.

The next hour and a half flew by with them baking the cake while making basic small talk to catch up with one another. They discussed Liv's daily meeting with nurse joy and how her recovery was coming. Liv caught Spencer up on Jordan's everyday hobbies since his time away from football, while Spencer tried his best not to admit to Liv that he was aiding in Jordan's desire to return to football. Their topics switched until they circled back to Spencer's upcoming game against Westlake, and how Olivia punishment lifted just in time for her to come see him play.

"You'll be my personal cheering section." Spencer goofed as he iced the bare cake.

"Of course. I'll be decked in your jersey number and sporting Crenshaw colors all night." Liv giggled, imaging herself ornamented in Spencer James merchandising. "I'll be shouting the loudest. Go, Spencer! Kick some Westlake ass!" She shouted cheerfully, causing Spencer to chuckle.

"And what about I finish kicking Westlake's ass?" He wondered aloud. "Do I get a prize?" He inquired with a lifted brow.

"You'll have won the state championship for Crenshaw and saved your school. What more could I give you?" Liv snickered, sipping her lemonade.

"I can think of a few things." Spencer flirted causing Liv's cheeks to redden as she swallowed her refreshment.

The knocking of the front door interrupted their flustered juncture. "I'm should...um..you know..."

"Don't worry, I will still be here when you get back." He chuckled towards her rattled nature.

He frosted the cake as Liv dealt with a package delivery on behalf of the coach baker. Shortly after leaving the package in the living room, she rrutrned. Her reserved nature now contained after she took a moment to compose herself.

She returned to the kitchen with more pep in her step resolved with knowing that the moment she and Spencer both delayed was finally arriving, and all she had to do was lead it.

Eyeing Spencer with a twinkle in her eye she cheekily leaned over close to his direction, dipping her finger in the canned frosting. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" She inquired sassily, catching his attention as she strutted a few feet around the counter.

"Girl, you know I got skills." He responded cockily, earning a snicker from Liv as she shut the refrigerator to from putting leftover baking ingredients.

"Hey, I was thinking that we should have that graduation won't playing at my mom's party," Spencer suggested, humming his ideal tune aloud.

Olivia listened to the tune with a puzzled expression. "Umm, that's the wedding song."

Spencer eyed her strangely, confused as to how he got the two melodies muddled.

Giving him a sympathetic grin, Liv rubbed his arm, comforting him. "Hmm, you'll get it." She laughed as Spencer twisted his face in slight embarrassment. "It's okay." She added jokingly.

Rolling his eyes, Spencer gestured down to the finished cake. "Well, what do you think?"

Liv analyzed the frosted cake, impressed by how well it came out. "It's good." She complimented with growing suspicion. "Like really good." She added, smirking at Spencer. "You've done this before, haven't you?"

"Maybe like once for my moms birthday..." He dragged out, sensing that his cover was blown as he smiled crookedly. "And maybe all of Dillion's birthdays." He admitted, redhandedly causing Olivia to laugh.

"Alright, you caught me." Spencer chuckled, then grew serious. "N'all but, I just wanted to get your mind off everything." He confessed wholeheartedly, hating the low amounts of times he witnessed a real smile from Liv over the last few weeks.

"You did," Olivia assured him, touched that Spencer went found the energy to help her through the day's mess, even though she was meant to be helping him today. "You made me feel a lot better." She added, wanting him to know that his intentions were highly effective.

Spencer simply nodded, content to help in any way he could.

Liv smiled thinking back to how their last few hours together reminded her of the summer they spent together. No matter if it dumb shows or extended time at the mall shopping, Spencer remained glue to her hip just to make Liv happy. If he noticed she was having a bad day, he'd make a stupid joke to make her laugh. When she felt alone and needed someone to talk to, Spencer spent hours on the phone with her. When she felt like crumbling, he was always the rock that steadily held her up.

"You've done that before too." Olivia slipped out, letting her affection take over. Her eyes darted to his with a knowing twinkle.

Spencer observed her stature, finding Olivia in control and sure of herself. She beamed gently with a slight tilt of her head as if waiting to see what he would do next. She wanted to know if he still wanted her, and this was her way of conveying her yearning for him. With an assured confirmation that she was ready, Spencer took this as his cue.

Without saying another word he walked towards Liv, ready to give in to their passions. His head tilted in the opposing direction of Liv's as they both leaned in to close the small space between them.

However, right when their lips were about to meet Spencer's phone buzzed. Spencer grunted under his breath, annoyed by the bad timing, but reached for his phone nonetheless. Liv sucked in a tight breath, frustrated by another halted moment.

Remaining with barely an inch separating them, Liv took matters into her own hands. Literally.

"Spence," Liv mumbled, topping the hand that held his phone with the palm of her hand to gain his attention. His phone continued to buzz, as Spencer gave Olivia his awareness. "Yeah."

"It'll still be there afterward." Liv sighed with an unsure smile, gently pulling his phone out of hand. Her finger dragged across the screen, rejecting the call. "But I'm right here. Right now." She remarked, locking eyes with him, lust emitting from her own. "And I don't know about you but I'm tired of waiting." She snickered sassily, earning a smirk from Spencer.

Liv eyes danced from Spencer's brown orbs, falling to his lips, then back to his eyes. Cupping his face, she brought his lips to hers for a kiss that was weeks in the making.

[hi-5-sunflower]

Saeed's intro

I did a post recently of the book's first chapter, which is Laura's introduction. However, since our other main protagonist, Saeed, doesn't come in until chapter seven, I'm jumping ahead to his intro to let the people of writeblr get to know this alchemist buddy a little bit 🙂

Length: 1,300 words

Summary: Saeed works on a potion to compete with his best friend for a permanent job as an alchemist.

Content warnings: Mention of illness. None others that I'm aware of (but please let me know if you think any need to be added!)

Saeed Azhari hardly saw where he was going as he made his way upstairs to the alchemy lab, his mind working like a colony of ants.

Stripewood bark has some anti-inflammatory properties, he thought, running a hand through his shaggy, overgrown hair. Might be a good addition to the sunleaf mixture.

The tiny lab was quiet when he arrived, and he took his preferred spot in the rear corner, close to the supply cupboard. He flipped open his pack to retrieve a stack of scribbled notes from inside before letting it drop at the foot of his stool.

A gray tabby cat leapt onto the long table to greet him, staring at him with huge green eyes.

“Hi, Quicksilver,” said Saeed.

He stroked the top of her head, and she responded with a purr, spinning around leisurely. Then he spent a few minutes absently gathering supplies for the day, considering the herb ratios for his potion. As he returned to his seat, the door swung open.

Tavi’s face was lit up in a broad grin as she strolled in. “Morning, Sai.”

“Hey. You’re in a good mood today.”

“Of course I am,” she said. “You do know what today is, don’t you?”

Saeed considered it, half panicking for a second that he’d forgotten her birthday. But no, that had been a few months ago. “Uh...sweetbread day in the dining hall?”

“No, silly.” She flopped her bag down onto her end of the table. “Today marks exactly one month until Emberhawk officially hires me.”

“Oh yeah,” said Saeed, his own lips quirking up. “Except I think you meant to say, until Emberhawk gives you the boot.”

“Ha!” Tavi casually tossed her burgundy braid back over her shoulder. “Honestly, you might want to spend today packing your bags. This thing is as good as done.”

“We’ll see about that.”

She was right about one thing anyway: the end of their year-long apprenticeship with Emberhawk Alchemy was rapidly approaching. At its end awaited a permanent, well-paying alchemist position with the company—but only one. Both of them had impressive achievements under their belts. The remaining question was which of them would come out on top.

Saeed pored over his notes for a few minutes as Tavi got settled. He’d been thinking about his current project—a cough remedy—nonstop, and he had some new ideas to try out.

Maybe a little more sunleaf this time. He shredded the herb by hand, staining his tawny fingers a yellowish green, and piled the foliage into his alembic. Fragrant vapors issued from the device as the mix simmered.

Most days, he and Tavi worked as lab assistants, running errands for the alchemy team, taking inventory, and performing repetitious production tasks. Today, however, was what they called a “free day”—a day off from their scheduled assignments, usually granted once or twice a week, in which they got to utilize this cramped little lab to conduct their own projects.

Simply put, these were the days that really counted. Here was the space in which they could prove their personal worth in potioncraft.

“How’s it going with the endurance tonic?” Saeed asked, his cheek resting on his palm while he waited for his concoction to distill.

“Could be better, actually,” said Tavi. “I had to scrap the recipe I was working on. We’re all out of lion blossom.” She rolled her eyes.

Saeed sympathized with that. Their limited access to materials was the one big stumbling block of the apprenticeship. Particularly with more expensive ingredients, they were allotted minimal amounts to work with, if any, so they had to ration carefully.

In fact, that was the primary challenge of his cough remedy project. Lyusk root was well-known to be highly effective for respiratory ailments—particularly this new, stubborn one, to which Saeed’s own brother had recently fallen victim—but there was never any of the root in their supply cupboard.

He’d just have to find an alternative.

And he would. One way or another.

Tavi stripped the husks off some chiba stalks, leaving green stains on her long fingers to match the ones on Saeed’s shorter human ones. As a member of the Jirian race, Tavi had a physique naturally built for arboreal life: remarkably long fingers and toes, effective for branch-gripping, and a prehensile simian tail. Their skin came in an array of grays, and Tavi’s complexion was a pale shade reminiscent of a dawn sky. Her burgundy hair was bound, like most days, into a single plait hanging down her back.

Saeed returned his attention to his notes for another quick review, then stood up and made for the supply cupboard again.

The shelves of the narrow closet were lined with jars and sacks of herbs, minerals, and brightly colored concentrates. Just standing in here, breathing in the cacophony of herbal scents, sent a thrill through his veins. Despite their complaints about the limits upon them, they still had a good variety of ingredients to experiment with.

Now, to find that stripewood. The S’s were on the lower shelves, which was convenient, as Saeed was rather short. There you are. He plucked a jar off the shelf. Curls of shredded brown bark filled it halfway, and Saeed unscrewed the lid, gingerly extracting a few pieces.

He closed his palm around them, focusing. In this dead and dried form, there was only a trace of its original life energy left within it, but it was there, and he could feel it if he really concentrated. He let his mind go quiet, let the little shavings tell him what their purpose was.

Its essence, once brought out, would provide a mild soothing effect, but without numbing. Just what I need. He sent a wave of gratitude to the bark before heading back to the table to put it to use.

In his peripheral vision, Tavi was scribbling away, making that face she always did when she was deep in her tasks, with her eyebrows furrowed and the end of her tongue sticking out. He set to work, smiling to himself.

Starting with their first alchemy lesson when they were just eleven years old, the two of them had shared a fascination for potion making, matched only by their drive to outdo one another every step of the way. They had something of a code between them: no cheating, no sabotage, and no being a sore loser. Even as teens, they’d adhered to that code strictly.

Most of the time, anyway.

Saeed used a mortar and pestle to grind the stripewood bark into a coarse powder before stirring it into the sunleaf mixture. Then he shuffled through his notes again, resenting the fact that he could barely read his own handwriting.

“Sai,” said Tavi, nodding toward his equipment, “let me borrow that quarterspoon really quick.”

He slid the little measuring scoop down the table to her.

“Thanks.”

They spoke little over the course of the next few hours, and Tavi wrapped up her day by transferring her potion-in-progress into a brass storage urn. Saeed did the same with his own product. Soon he’d need to find time to run safety testing on the potion, but he felt good about what he’d come up with today. He hummed a little tune as he set to putting away supplies.

“I see that cocky look on your face,” said Tavi, smirking as she came up beside him.

Saeed shot her a look of feigned indignance. “Who, me?”

“Yes, you.” Tavi gave him a playful shove. “Don’t you worry, I’ve still got some good ideas to try out.”

“We’ll see about that,” said Saeed. They walked back to the table together, and as Saeed prepared to pack up, he noticed a few greenish potion droplets on his notes. The ink smudged as he tried to wipe it dry.

We’ll see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading! And as usual, here's the tumblr link to the book's full intro for anybody new to the story!

You can also buy a copy for 99 cents (USD)!

Tag list: @thelaughingstag @a-completely-normal-writer

[you-are-crazy-beautiful]

S3 thoughts after complete rewatch

Please give me your thoughts and ideas. I’ll be blunt. Season 3 is bad. Really bad. There is absolutely no continuity between s2 and s3. I was joking that even though it’s meant to be set 6 months later, it could really be anytime after. I even would think I was watching an episode in the middle of a season if I was just shown 3x01 with no info. I feel that there is also a complete disregard to the tone of the show, despite Suzanne stating how it’s important to keep that. I do feel that Suzanne talks the talk more than she walks the walk. 

1.       When asked about the multiple POV Suzanne stated ‘those two women as the lynchpin relationship of the show. Their journeys are always at the spine of the story’. ‘all of them (new characters) have a really exciting energy, and really challenge the main characters’. I would argue completely against Eve and Villanelle and their relationship being the focus of this season. There are times and whole episodes when I feel there is almost a disconnect from each other. These two are absolutely, unhealthily addicted to each other. I think the amount of scenes they have together is perfect and almost the usual, but when they aren’t together, you know they are never normally far from each other’s mind. I would especially say I find it strange after V has finally got the kiss she has been waiting for 3 seasons, which would make her devotion go even more through the roof, she only has one Eve related moment (the cake) before phoning Eve after seeing each other at the train station in ep 7. They could have nearly sunk them!

·       Konstantin and Carolyn even overshadowed Eve and had more character development this season. Besides from Dasha, I would also say the new characters hardly gave anything to the plot such as Aubrey, Paul, and Geraldine. It even took me a while to remember these characters names. Paul you could take out of the season and nothing would change except that Carolyn wouldn’t have had another person to shoot in 3x08. I think Geraldine was a good character to have for Carolyn to show how she personally grieves, but why did they keep having the same scenes again and again? What the heck was that thing with Geraldine and Konstantin? I’m still unclear on how Dasha and Villanelle’s relationship came about and what happened. How old was Villanelle? How long was Dasha her mentor for? It seems like they forgot that they had Konstantin saying to V in 3x02 about Dasha doing something to her and the way Villanelle attacked Dasha upon seeing her again, that they just quickly wrote the hospital scene in 3x08. I was so confused what was happening. Did they mean Dasha shot at Villanelle because ‘she wasn’t ready’ as in emotionally or physically? Did Dasha actually manage to shoot her? Didn’t they allude to Konstantin being the one to recruit her from the prison in s1, so how did she not stay with him? How did she escape Dasha? It seemed random that Dasha just happened to die when Konstantin was there, when he said she was going to die in the hospital. I thought he had done something, but apparently not?

2. When asked what she was most excited about the audience seeing, Suzanne said Villanelle and Eve’s journey. This is her quote about Eve. ‘Similarly with Eve, we really get to see deeper layers of Eve, and her really coming to terms with the person she is now. She’s forever changed because of what happened to her and what she’s been through, and it’s really about seeing her now, this new version of herself, and her acceptance of herself, which is very exciting and really takes her into new places’. I really just have to laugh. Where is it? It is absolutely ridiculous how little Eve was developed and ignored this season. When you guys do a rewatch, I highly recommend to at least watch 2x08 before going into s3 because it really just highlights the difference and how nuts it is that they dropped Eve by so much! I really don’t understand how it’s even possible. Coming into the show there are many ways you could go wrong. However, it’s not like it’s an easy thing to cut out the lead of your show! Especially when that character had the most exciting things happen to them in the finale of s2. The things I was most excited about going into s3 was seeing how Eve was coping with knowing she has the ability to kill someone. I can’t believe they did not bring up that Eve had killed someone once in the whole of s3!!! Like @kassies​ stated, it’s like Suzanne just took one line and things she liked and disregarded everything else. Suzanne practically said in the BBC sounds podcast that she had this idea of mummy issues, which personally I don’t think there is any evidence of except the fact V is attracted to older women, like most wlw are. If anything there is more evidence she would have daddy issues with her history of castrations and the many times she comments that she finds it strange that Konstantin hasn’t tried to have sex with her. After the line ‘most of’ her family were dead she stated she could go down that route! She practically wrote the whole season just based on this. She hasn’t even taken the quote correctly, as like others have pointed out, most of her family were actually alive and it was only her dad who was dead. I loved episode 5 originally but on my rewatch with the whole season it really seemed strange. When I first watched it I thought the next episode was going to be largely devoted to Eve so I wasn’t so bothered that it was a whole V ep. However, considering Eve was hardly given anything in ep6, I really don’t see how a whole V episode was needed. The annoying thing was this season could have been the best yet. With Eve and Villanelle both discovering themselves and meeting at the end. It was that, but with hardly any Eve content and I feel they are so lucky they managed to pull it off in the last 2 eps, and that’s largely down to what s1+2 accomplished. Again, ep5 just seems like a way for Suzanne to explore her mummy issues story, as there is nothing really juicy or pivotal for the plot. Why not really show how the twelve have had their eye on V since she was little. Have the mum saying a man told her V was dead, as Konstantin did with Anna in s1? It would have added so much more to the twelve. Especially when the big thing about V this season is her wanting away from the control the twelve have on her. Why not show just how much?

I actually had no idea what Eve was thinking for most of the season and from what I do know and think is based on what I know of this character from the previous 2 seasons. Maybe this is just me not getting it, but I thought Eve was in the kitchen because she was in denial and I kept waiting for her to get a breakthrough and embrace her true self. It wasn’t until Sandra said Eve was actually showing strength by working in the kitchen, and by saying ‘no’ to working in the front, that I was like ‘oh’ that’s what it’s meant to mean. I actually feel so sad for Sandra because I can’t imagine what she must have been thinking with Eve’s treatment this season. I actually feel there are even moments in the season that delibrately stop Eve’s development. For example that lazy line of ‘lucky those tourists found you’. How? I know irl it’s a tourist attraction, but in the show they had to break into a tunnel to access it. I also don’t like the scene with Jamie. You could say it highlights the line in the finale ‘I think we all have monsters’ but I feel like it invalidates just how different Eve and Villanelle are from other people. Jamie taking his kids to the zoo when high is hardly the same as Eve hacking a man to death with an axe. 

 This is already so long, and I could go on and on, but I’m just going to point out  some issues and plot holes.

. Kenny’s death was meant to be the biggest storyline of the whole season and what got Eve back into the story. However, she only looked into his death in ep3 and never again. Carolyn didn’t even really look into his death and all we got was constant scenes with her and Geraldine. Why couldn’t we have gotten Eve and Carolyn doing real detective work like in s1 as was implied was going to happen in ep3? I don’t even feel like they actually thought through his death as it was ‘solved’ by Bear who despite apparently not thinking Kenny had commited suicide from the beginning and wanting access to his phone, apparently did not think to check a camera he had set up until weeks later?! I don’t think it’s possible Kenny fell off the roof as in ep4 when Eve chucks the cake, the wall comes up near to her chest. You could not fall off that. He also would have screamed when falling. I also don’t even know how the twelve knew Kenny was looking into the accounts. Especially if they knew Kenny was looking into it, and knew money was being taken, how did it take them so long to kill the accountant? Laura could develop this in s4, but I feel as though it was Suzanne’s job to follow through with this storyline. 

. How did Konstantin know what V looked like as a baby? Where did he see the photo? Why did they make a point to highlight that she was with someone in the photo and Konstantin really didn’t seem to want to tell her, yet the next episode he handed over her family right away? As much as I love Villanelle’s journey, on a rewatch, the family story seemed to almost come out of nowhere in ep3 and then the next episode she had the information and went home. Why not introduce the idea in ep 1?

. How would Puyter know that it was his sister? Upon immediately seeing her he knew it was Oksana. I don’t think it says how old they were, but he is younger than V, and we saw how old she was in the pics, I really don’t think he would recognise her, especially when he thinks she is dead. 

. Why is there not pictures of the dad? Even if the mum was saddened by his death as she really seemed to love him, why would she not have any photos? Also with how much she seems to be scared and despise V, why would she keep the photos of her? Did the dad die while Villanelle was still there or is she just taking he’s dead as he’s not there. I thought they were going to reveal that the dad was still alive and part of the twelve but nope.

. Why was Rhian so scared of V at the train station? I know she’s the demon with no face, but Rhian was ready to be moving into Villanelle’s shoes, and you can even see V is struggling to kill her, so why does Rhian act so scared and back herself onto the edge of the platform? That moment feels so disgenuous to me and at one point I though Rhian was acting. 

. How did Carolyn know Helene and that V was working for her? Is it a plot hole or something to be explored in s4?

. Why was Eve acting like she didn’t know Villanelle was responsible for the Catalan murder in ep4 when we know she can tell V’s kills after a sec (as seen in ep6) and even after Carolyn had shown her the photo and said it was V?

. They didn’t even seem to give much attention to Eve’s scar or wound. It was not where it was in 2x08. I know they said that they were going to move around where she had been shot, but when Suzanne was asked why the scar was different she said she wanted it to seem like Villanelle went for the kill shot, despite saying in other interviews that she doesn’t think Villanelle did try or want to kill Eve. The scar’s even so weird. I’m no expert, so that it maybe how they look, but it doesn’t even look like a bullet wound. Would the bullet not have left a round mark? 

. Why did they keep Niko around for so long? I personally loved where Emerald had taken it in 2x07 and was excited to see where Niko was. Maybe he was up for the murder of Gemma. It would have been another good opportunity to see Eve's skewed morals. A part of her being flattered that Villanelle killed Gemma as sort of revenge for stepping on Eve. Instead it got completely swept under the rug in 3x01 too by Niko saying mi6 said she killed herself. What happened? How did they find him? It doesn't even make sense now why V killed her. However, I would say there was also something symbolic about him ending up in a rehabilitation retreat because Eve and her actions has 'broken' him. It was quite powerful for his character to tell Eve he deserved better than her. Because he does. He basically told her to p*ss off there. Why make the little time Eve is being given to another ep where she chases him down, for him to get brutally attacked in a way that is so ridiculous that he would survive it borders on a soap opera. I thought the reason he survived was to give a big Eve moment of her saying her acceptance that she can't have a normal life. Instead they just had the same convo as 3x01 with him telling her to p*ss off. Then a scene with Eve looking at him and leaving. What is going on in her head? Why are you not giving her anything? We didn't even get to see her dealing with the act happening.

. This brings me onto the point of it. It could of had so much impact, yes it was cool because Eve knew it wasn't V, but there could have been so much more given to it. Such as Dasha saying to V in the lift in 3x07 about her having someone waiting for her back home, how Dasha has just destroyed the thread between the only person V cares about. It would have made V hitting her with the golf club so much more delicious.

. Villanelle saying to Konstantin that she didn't want him to die in 3x07 and looking upset. Yet in 3x08 she looks almost excited about the fact he's about to be shot?

. It also annoys me so much that Raymond was just discarded and we still know nothing about the twelve. I thought this season was really going to dive into them, but we don't know anymore about them than we did at the start of the season. After rewatching 2x08 I really wish they had explored the twelve thru Raymond. If you wanted to give Konstantin more why not have him in with the twelve and the consequences of 2x08? Raymond saying 'Some would say I'm a real somebody'. 'They will take you apart for this'. 'After today a lot of people are going to be angry'. How high was Raymond? The implications that V+E were in so much danger after killing Raymond. Then it's 6 months later and Dasha just says they've been watching V for months. Were they watching Eve? Who knows nobody cares about Eve this season😒 Why bring in new members of the twelve like Paul, make brand new stories such as Kenny's death and the money, to just kill Paul and not resolve them.

I really don't understand how the twelve haven't killed V yet. She screws up all the time from s1 onwards. I get she is amazing at her job but they have others such as Rhian. Why do they let her get away with it? It was confusing me so much this season. I thought they were going to make her dad a member of the twelve and that's how she's protected.

. The title cards and intro. By now you might all be thinking she's just tearing everything apart. Trust me, there are moments of s3 I love and that is why it's so frustrating. Laura's 3 eps are some of my fave of the show so fingers crossed that means good things for s4. I felt she grasped the original tone of the show. So speaking of staying true to the show, I don't understand why they were changing the format of the title cards. Sometimes it was funny 'p*ss off forever' and 'this is bullshit'. Yet, it also really threw me off because it's not what usually happens. I'm all for new things being tried, yet I actually find myself questioning what wasn't changed and what was kept original? The names coming up in 3x04...I can't even. This is more of a personal take as I know some people really liked them, but when it was coming up 'Eve' I was just sitting there thinking 'I know that's Eve. I've been watching her for 3 years'.

Why was there only a title sequence in 2 episodes? Suzanne got asked and said that it was only ep2 and ep7 that felt right. I mean...I'm pretty sure it could have worked in all of them. I loved the title sequences so much, and was so excited when that drop fell and they started in ep2. Then I was so confused when none of the next ones had it. Episode 7 is one of my favourite episodes of the whole show, and that title sequence is just *chef's kiss*. My point really is that it came across to me as an experiment as they only did certain things in one episode and never again, and it made me uncomfortable.

[lifebeginsbyleaving]

A Pirate Walked Into A Bar...

This is for @sterek-bingo I didn’t have time to completely finish it, but all tags are included. This is almost 25k words, so make sure you got the time lol. Anyway I hope you like it! I’m so excited to finish this, so my hope is to have it completely done by the end of june.

***************************************

"Shit, shit, fuck, FUCK!" Stiles vaulted over the boxes blocking the alley way. His eyes scanned the path as fast as they could, looking for any possible escape. His breath was coming out in harsh waves. His legs were stinging.

"You there! Stop!" The voice came from closer than he would've liked. It was followed by the clatter of people giving chase.

"Fuck, fuck, fuckity fucking ell." He was too far from the sea, and with the way he was running he had no idea if he was getting closer or farther away. Stiles darted down another alley way, this one much narrower and more cluttered with dirt and boxes. It was like the walls were slowly closing in and soon he would have no where else to run.

The clattering was getting closer, but they were still out of sight as Stiles kept weaving down different paths.

There was a crossroads up ahead. If Stiles pushed fast enough he could get through the crossroad and down the next alley fast enough that they would have to split up.

He darted out into the road just as a cart came barreling through. It knocked him off his feet. God bless the fuckin queen, that hurt his hip! As he tried to get up he looked around. A big red sign posted at the top of one of the buildings drew his eyes.

He knew where he was.

"Stop that pirate!" A voice boomed from directly behind him. The few people who were around all turned their eyes to him. The people just looked on, not even caring if he was caught.

Stiles scrambled up and grabbed his hat. As he ran to his new charted path, he kicked the wagon's gate down and apples spilled all over the road. He didn't even slow his pace as he leaned down to grab an apple. He took a bite and turned around still moving. He smiled around a bite of apple before he hurled the rest right at the crown's guard leading the charge. He turned back around, not even seeing if it hit him. The answering annoyed, 'Stiles!' was enough.

He took off, once again laughing. He could hear the clatter of at least two guards slipping on apples as the rest followed him again.

Stiles had never been so grateful for being knocked on his ass. He would've never seen that sign if he wasn't. All he needed, all any self respecting pirate, would need is just one point. One point to let them know where they are, to find out where they need to go. And Stiles' Northstar was the, 'Shoddy shirt and chantey shanty,' big red sign with bold letters and a half naked lady on it.

They were within sight so he needed to lose them first. He sped seemingly at random through alleys and in and out of houses and businesses that were most welcoming at his unexpected and late polite visit.

Stiles vaulted a dinner table.

"Get the fuck out! Thief! Guards! There's a thief in my house!"

"Pirate!" Stiles called over his shoulder as he burst out the back door with huffing breath.

They were greatly slowed down by having to clatter after him through a house and finally they could still hear him, but not see him.

Stiles looped back and finally started towards where he wanted to go. He could taste the salt water and feel the sea calling to him behind him, but he could not go that way. He would never make it through the dense quarter at this time. Either someone or one of the many crown's guard would stop him. He could barely hear the thud of boots over the harsh panting of his breath, but he still felt as if they were on his heels nonetheless. He could tell he was getting tired, but he needed to push on.

Just as he was turning a guard came crashing into the wall right behind him.

"Oh fuck."

Two of the guards must've tried to get around him, but failed. They didn't make it in front of him, but they were right at his back.

If this didn't work exactly he was screwed.

He took two quick turns in succession and finally he was close.

He shot down the alley to the left and quickly concealed himself in an alcove.

When they ran past he quickly and as quietly as he could, made it to the alley now on his left, which he would've gone straight into before his misdirect.

There was a man blocking the path up ahead, emptying a barrel into a trash bin. He could hear them turning around and shouting at each other that he went back. The man turned to put the trash bin back inside the door he was keeping open showing a warm glowing room. Stiles didn't slow his pace as he plowed right towards the man. He was closing the bin when Stiles barreled into his chest and grabbed his shirt and the door behind the man. Stiles quickly went backwards into the lit room, hauling the man along with him by his shirt and tugging the door right behind them. The door latched and there was a thud as Stiles pressed the man against the door and followed his body with his own.

"Don't make a sound." The man's eyes were wide with confusion, but as the boots and yells went cluncking by he seemed content to just hold his breath.

Stiles tried to slow and quiet his own breath as he pressed closer to the man trying to stay out of the windows view as they went by.

Stiles counted the sets of footfalls as they went by, and when the final pair cleared he let out a heavy breath.

"Well, that's one way to finish your day." Stiles let out a laugh.

The man was still pressed against the door like they were about to burst through it. Stiles could hear muffled movement out in the hall.

"What the fuck Stiles!"

"Oh calm down. I'm only in trouble if they catch me, sourwolf."

FIVE MONTHS AGO

Derek's shoulders ached and his eyelids begged to close, but he had to finish carting the heavy barrels before he could go to sleep. His family could no longer afford to rent the cart and steed they normally did to haul the weeks brews from their distillery to their bar. With the raging war outside their lands laying waste to their country, and the war inside it barely held back by the tentative so called peace and the people poorer than they had seen in decades, no one could afford anything.

If anyone saw a man carting a barrel on each shoulder it would certainly give him away, so he had to finish under the cover of dusk. It was very late but with his bed calling him like a siren's song, he finished earlier than normal. He was about to go up the steps to where his family slept above the bar, when he realized there weren't as many heartbeats as there should've been. That was odd. Usually everyone was in bed by now.

He slowly crept back down and tried to listen, but he could only see the light coming from the room in the back of the bar that functioned as his mother's office. He slowly opened the window he knew wouldn't make a sound and tried to pick up something.

"-rate we won't make it three months!" That was Laura's voice, she sounded stressed and upset.

"Be that as it may, we need actual solutions, not just more problems." That was his mother's voice calming and commanding, but no less stressed which worried him. His mother didn't get stressed.

"I've already told you what we need to do!"

"No. I won't do that. You know that."

"Mother! Please just consider it. The pirates make enough plundering the seas, but now they're taking our livelihood with their cheap smuggled moonshine! We could at least ask them to stop. Look, I know that they do some good keeping the crown's guard occupied and when they help, but this is our survival we're talking about! If we're to remain in this city we have to consider our options."

He could hear his mother sigh as though there was a weight on her chest he never knew was there. "Laura, you'll make a great alpha one day, but you must consider grander things than just your pack if you're ever going to be more than that."

More than an alpha? What was she talking about?

"What would you have me do anyway? We don't know all of the pirates. Would we talk to the pirates? Reason with them? Run them out of town? Which could expose us, and then where would we be? Put to death."

His mother seemed to soften her face. "I know you want to fix this, but we can't. We must wait. He will come, I'm sure of it. We have to wait here for him and I know that's not the answer you want, but it's the only one I have."

Who was he? Who would come?

His dad which had only been a heartbeat he could hear on the other side of the room came closer and wrapped Laura in his arms. "We'll be okay little wolf. Your mother has a plan."

He could hear Laura's heartbeat relax, but the worried look his parents shared while Laura's head was tucked into his shoulder had his beating faster.

His mother came over and rested all of their heads together so they could focus on each others heartbeats and calm down.

Just as they had gotten settled, his mother's head shot up and her eyes glowed directly at him. "Derek?"

They saw him now and he didn't want to pretend like he hadn't heard it anyway.

He opened the door and walked in. "So everything you said about the war being the reason we are going out of business is a lie? It's really filthy pirates and their bootleg pisswater they call liquor?!"

"Derek!"

He was so angry he didn't even feel sorry for his outburst. "What? What mom, you want me to calm down about my family about to lose their home and business because of some no good thieves that like to think they're important because they have a boat and get away with it! They're the scum of the seas!"

Laura turned to him. "You sound like Captain Whittemore."

That stopped the boiling of his blood with what felt like a slap. He hadn't realized he had almost directly quoted the man that would like nothing more than to skin his entire family alive.

"I-I um-"

"You, need to calm down." His mother flashed her eyes at him and he felt the shame of his outburst. It wasn't their fault and he finally realized they were as scared as he was.

His father started to lead him upstairs. "They'll figure it out son. Don't worry about it." His father had no eyes to flash at him, but he felt it as a command anyway.

When they made it upstairs his dad checked the girls' room. He could see his cousin Lily in bed, but Laura's was predictably empty.

His father followed him to his room and checked for Thomas, who was of course curled up in his bed instead of his own. With them all accounted for he gave Derek a hug and bid him goodnight.

His muscles protested even moving his small sleeping brother.

His eyes opened wide, but seeing Derek he calmed. "What took you so long?"

Derek let out a small laugh. "I'd like to see you haul all of those barrels champ."

Thomas started to crawl out of his bed.

"You can stay."

Thomas looked at him confused and with his bed head he looked adorable. "You usually kick me out."

"That's because you actually kick me in the neck. But you can stay tonight."

Thomas didn't think twice. He crawled right back into the middle of the bed and Derek didn't have it in him to care. He got changed into his sleep clothes and gently moved a yawning Thomas over. He protectively curled around him and got settled in.

A small sleepy voice spoke. "Are you letting me stay because of whatever has mom, dad, and Laura so worried?"

Thomas had none of the enhanced senses that his siblings and cousin had, but he always could sense things. In some ways he was more in tune with things than any of them. "No I'm letting you stay so the kraken under your bed doesn't eat you." He smiled when Thomas turned to him to give him a flat look. "And there's nothing to worry about." He put an arm around Thomas and pulled him as close as he could. "Go to sleep Tommy."

Thomas let out a yawn and soon his heartbeat was slowed.

He was still seething with the new found enemy, at finally having a channel for his anger, but seeing Thomas sleeping peacefully he calmed. Derek placed a kiss on his forehead and spoke once more before letting his brothers heartbeat lull him to sleep. "We'll protect you."

---

Derek awoke the next morning to a forceful pain in his neck. He shot up with claws and glowing eyes. He looked around wildly. Once he new everything was okay he flopped back down and pulled a pillow on top of his face with clawless fingers.

The sound was muffled, but no less frustrated, "Ughgshghh omas at urt!"

Derek moved the pillow to see Thomas was still sound asleep with his head on the opposite side of the bed and his foot close to Derek's face. Derek shoved it off the bed and he didn't even stir. Derek got up with a huff and got changed. He headed downstairs to start his work.

He kissed his mother's head where she was bent over her desk. When she looked up at him his head tilted towards the floor. She brought her wrist up and rubbed it against his neck. Once he looked up she wrapped her hand around the side of his neck and gently stroked his jaw. "Don't worry. We will handle it."

Derek opened his mouth to protest, but decided not to. "Okay."

She smiled and pulled his head down to kiss his forehead. "Good. Now go help your sister so she can head to the distillery."

In the face of all their budget cutting Laura took the brunt of the distillery work. She only helped set up the bar in the mornings while his mother sorted paperwork. Once she went to the distillery the bar was managed by Derek till the end of work rush and then his mother helped. His father was a teacher, but was recently let go so if he didn't have an odd job or two he helped out when he wasn't giving the younger two kids lessons.

They were all constantly working nowadays, just to barely make ends meet. Derek could remember even just a couple months ago when things were good, but there was supposedly some big peace meeting in a couple months that had tensions rising and the people preparing for an all out war. As the months dragged on things got tighter and tighter. Now, he just wished the noose closing around their necks was on the filthy pirates stealing their lively hood. But Derek had to put that all away to get though the day, it was much too heavy for this early.

The mornings were always slow. There was nothing really to do except get set up for the day. Pretty soon Laura was leaving him in charge of the two barflies, Kevin and Mark, that seemingly never left the place. It was slow up until it wasn't. The lunch rush came like it always did, all at once. Even though it wasn't as much as it had always been, Derek was busy. It wasn't until two that he finally felt like he wasn't rushed off his feet.

He was just pouring a refill for someone as the bar doors slammed open. All eyes in the bar turned to the stranger in the entryway as he quickly closed the doors behind him. He was out of breath, but acting like he wasn't. After a pause as he surveyed the room, he started to saunter towards the bar, but as shouting crown's guard walked past he sat down with a clatter at an occupied table. His back was to the door as he slung an arm around the man sitting there.

"Hi, how ya doing?"

The man sneered and started to pull away. The stranger pulled out a coin and flicked it onto the table in front of the man with his thumb. "Have a drink on me pal." The coin was worth at least three drinks and the man swept it up with a smile.

The man was pleased with his presence then, and tried to get him to stay, but as soon as the shouting stopped he resumed his path towards the bar. "Sorry, I can't stay friend."

He reached the bar and knocked on it as if Derek wasn't already looking at him. "Three things call me: the sea, rum,-" He reached up to point towards a middle shelf rum. "And f-"

Derek caught his wrist before he could pull it back down. "You're a pirate." Derek said the word with a sneer as he looked down at the brand.

The stranger quickly schooled his startled expression. "Nonsense. The P stands for pretty, my face was such a distraction Captain Jackson Whittemore had to brand it into my skin. I am a fine upstanding citizen of this country just like you all. God bless the rightful queen." He lifted his other hand like he was toasting the drink he did not possess yet.

"So I could just call those guards back here?"

The stranger tutted like he was speaking to a child. "Now is that any way to treat a paying customer?"

Derek flung the arm that had still been firmly in his grip. "Your money is no good here." He spit his next word out like vitriol. "Pirate."

That only made the stranger smirk with a fire like look in his eyes. "Have I bed your wife? You seem to be very angry with someone you don't know."

Derek grit his teeth.

"No that's not it. Perhaps I refused to bed you?"

Derek's veins burned as did his cheeks. The other patrons seemed to chuckle at the barb, finally turning back to their drinks.

"No, that's not it either." The stranger leaned over the bar into his space to speak softly. "I wouldn't have refused." He tossed a suggestive wink and as he leaned back his eyes raked up and down Derek in a way that made him feel naked.

"Maybe I bed your sister."

Derek closed his eyes because he knew they would bleed blue. He quickly clenched his claws into his fists, hoping the stranger didn't see them.

"Get out before I make you." Derek snarled around teeth. This was one of the filthy people taking his family's business and he came to flaunt it in his face with jokes. Derek would rip his throat out with his teeth if it wouldn't put his family in more danger.

"Hm, no. I think we can come to an agreement. I-"

"I will call the guards back here." Derek could finally open his eyes and it was to a smile that had no right to be that disarming or that smug.

"You see, I don't think you will." The stranger gave a meaningful look down at his hands and when Derek looked he then tapped on the bar before scrapping against it with his fingernails. "I think you're about to pour me a drink."

Derek was just about to pull him into the back alley to beat that smirk right off his face when the pirate lifted a heavy coin purse to the bar. As soon as it clanked down the ties loosened enough to see in. It was enough gold coins for a third of their expenses for the entire month.

"I think you're going to pour me a house rum while taking my coin. Because between me and you, I think you'd rather have a filthy pirate drink here than have everyone you know brought before the Captain."

Derek couldn't help the fear that filled his chest as he said that. Every single were brought before the Captain was never seen again. Well, sometimes there would be a piece of jewelry or a blood stained article of clothing given to the uninvolved human family members if it was something they didn't know about. But if they had so much as a hint, they were gone too. The Captain was known for killing anyone who was even suspected of being in league with supernaturals. He was called the Kanima Captain, because almost like a reptile, he left no trace of people, seemingly swallowing entire families whole. Derek only had a moment to consider as the crown's guard filed back past.

The pirate seemed to give him an amused look like he didn't care if Derek called them in here. Like he would be just as happy running away.

"Fine." Derek snarled back swiping the coin purse.

The pirate smiled and threw down some more coins from a pocket. "And another round for the tavern filled with friends I've made." The pirate looked back to see if his bribe would work and the people cheered and tipped their glasses up in appreciation.

Derek poured his drink closer to the top than he normally would if not to just keep him from speaking that much longer.

As he turned back, the pirate was already mid story with Mark, who could barely keep his head up. The pirate must've taken the wobble his head does towards the bar as a nod of encouragement. He turned with sharp eyes to Derek who was wearing the most malicious look he had.

The pirate's lips only stopped moving once the glass was being tilted back and resumed as soon as it was empty.

Derek didn't move his spiteful stare away from the pirate, he knew better than to take your eyes off a thief.

The pirate finished his story and turned back to Derek. "You know if you look at me any more intensely I'll assume you want something. We already know about your scorn for pirates and their supposed thievery, so you must not want me to steal something for you. I already gave you money. I suppose there is one more thing I'm famous for." The pirate gave him a lecherous grin.

"The only thing I want from you, pirate, is for you to get out of my bar."

"Well, I think one drink is much too soon for you to take me back to your place. I mean, even if you were to try to take advantage of me, one drink is not enough to get me disoriented. I am a pirate after all." The pirate scrunched his nose mockingly as he said pirate.

"Oh I'm sure there isn't enough rum in the world to make you act even more as indecent and appalling as you do sober."

He smirked at Derek. "Not nearly."

Derek rolled his eyes and continued on with his job. He couldn't wait for the pirate to leave. As luck would have it, he just tossed down way too many coins and ordered himself another round.

Derek dutifully poured it.

Derek was on the other side of the bar pouring a drink when Thomas came down. The wolf inside him panicked. He wanted to be in between his pack and the pirate that seemed nothing but trouble.

"Tommy aren't you in the middle of lessons with Dad?"

Thomas shrugged. "I was hungry. He told me to ask you for something."

Derek seemed frazzled. "Right okay, there should be some dried meat over there. Grab it and go back upstairs." Derek tried to finish with the group, but they kept asking him questions.

"I can't find it."

Derek was about to huff at him to look with his eyes when he remembered Laura grabbed the snack on her way out. "Okay sorry bud, I didn't get time to pick up anything else. Just giv-"

"Here."

Derek stiffened at the voice. He turned to see the pirate washing an apple with his soft flowy shirt. He held it out to Thomas.

Derek put the pitcher down and moved towards them quickly. "Tommy don't take that."

Thomas seemed to look at the pirate appraisingly. He took the apple and smelled it.

"Tommy!"

"What? It's just an apple." He took a bite and Derek felt his heart fall out. He rushed the rest of the way to Thomas.

"What did I say? Huh! I told you not to take it!" All he could smell was the sweet scent of fruit, but there were many scentless poisons. He went to snatch it out of his hands, but Thomas moved it and stuck out his tongue.

"Easy friend. I did not mean to offend you. He seemed hungry."

Derek turned turned to the pirate and snarled in his face. "Do not, call me friend!"

The pirate held up his hands, and Derek wanted nothing more than to just rip them from his body. Something about this man irritated him so much. Just the way he looked got under his skin.

"Whoa, you're scaring me." Thomas' eyes looked shiny. "Did I do something wrong?" Thomas' voice went small as he looked at the pirate. "Is he a bad man?"

The look on the pirate's face looked totally foreign to anything Derek thought it could look like.

"No, I'm not. I just said some rude things to your brother. He made me feel like I was wrong just because of what I am, so I said some things I shouldn't have. I am sorry for what I said though... Well. most of it. Some of it. Do you think your brother will forgive me for what I am and what I said?" The pirate didn't take his eyes off Thomas and it made his wolf bristle at how earnest he was looking at his brother. Like he actually cared what he said.

Thomas looked confused. "That doesn't sound like Derek. He would never hate anybody for what they are. Just who they choose to be. He can seem kinda mean sometimes though. But he's not. He even let me sleep in his bed last night even though I always kick him!"

Derek's cheeks flamed once again.

Stiles glanced up at him. "Is that so?"

"Yeah. So I'm sure he will forgive you for what you said. Well, as long as you didn't say anything about his family." Thomas laughed. "He once gave Louis, the butcher's son, a knuckle sandwich for saying Laura couldn't do better than him."

"Well, what if I tried real hard, even if I did that, would he forgive me?"

He seemed to consider. "I think so. Derek's the best big brother ever. He never stays mad at me." Thomas looked up at him so adoringly his heart almost melted.

"Well then, I guess I should apologize."

Derek was brought away from Thomas to look at the pirate. "No need. Pirate."

Thomas' eyes went wide. "You're a pirate?" He spoke in a hushed awed tone.

He booped his nose. "Sure am, kiddo."

"Is the kraken real?" Thomas asked in a rush.

The pirate laughed and leaned down from his bar stool after glancing around to see if anyone was looking. He whispered into his ear. "She sure is, but between me and you, she's a total sweetheart."

Derek put an arm on the pirate's shoulder to pull him back. "Tommy, go finish your work."

"But Derek-"

"Thomas." Derek spoke with a commanding voice.

"Ugh fine." Thomas turned to the pirate before leaving. "What's your name?"

"Well, your brother just calls me pirate, but my name is Stiles."

Thomas' face scrunched up as Derek spoke, "What the hell is a Stiles?"

Stiles rolled his eyes. "What's your name kid?"

Thomas beamed before holding out his hand. "My name is Thomas, but Derek calls me Tommy."

Stiles smiled. "Should I call you Tommy?"

Derek moved in between them and put his hand on the bar. "You shouldn't call him anything."

Thomas wedged underneath Derek's arm. "You should call me Thomas." Derek had an annoyed scowl on his face.

"And you can call my brother D-" Thomas' eyes widened slightly and Derek's arm tightened around him. "Miguel. You can call him Miguel."

Stiles raised an eyebrow. "Miguel?"

Derek tightened the arm around him as he spoke with clenched teeth. "Miguel."

"I can't breathe, you meanie. Let me go." Thomas landed a boney elbow right between his ribs and as soon as he doubled over he scurried back up the steps.

As Derek was regaining his breath he realized how close he had gotten to the pirate. He took two steps back.

"Relax. I only bite if you make me." His gleaming teeth somehow seemed more threatening than half the wolves he's met.

"Finish your drink and then leave. I'm not asking."

Stiles swallowed it all down then stood. "Well, I'm not one to overstay my welcome."

"You did that the moment you stepped foot in here."

Stiles let out a laugh. "Man, what do you have against pirates?"

"You are dirty thieves that don't think about how you hurt anyone else. You don't care about anyone and no one cares about you."

The pirate slapped his hand down on the bar. "You know it's bigots like you who don't think to even try to understand someone before going right to judging. I would think you would know better, but apparently not. You know, not all pirates are just the trash that this society throws out to the seas, sometimes we leave because we know this society is the trash and needs to be fixed. I don't take down the little fishing boats trying to make a living. I take down the royal ships so laden with treasures they've stolen from other lands just because they have less firepower! I take down ships with enough money to help the kingdom, but the Argents would rather hoard it for power!"

Derek took his arm harshly. "If you're going to flaunt that you're a pirate a few drinks might make them forget, but if you want to talk about just who you steal from I'd lower your voice. Most don't give a damn, but some care for the Argents."

The pirate still had rage in his eyes as he looked at the attention he had grabbed, but he nodded at Derek and stormed through the doors.

Derek's day passed like all of the ones before and soon enough he was tossing out the days trash and then getting ready for bed for it to all start over again tomorrow.

He kissed Thomas on the head and crawled into bed.

"Psst. Derek."

Derek opened his eyes. "Yes Tommy?"

"We met a pirate today!"

Derek couldn't help the churning in his stomach at Thomas' delighted tone. "We did."

He heard rustling. "Don't sound like that Derek. We met a pirate! You love pirates!"

Derek swiveled his head to look at where Thomas was sitting up in bed. "I do not!"

"You do too. You always tell me stories about awesome pirates!"

"That's different."

"How?"

Derek opened his mouth before he found something he could say. "Those pirates are fake."

"So?"

"Well, they don't actually steal from people."

"Robin hood is fake, but if someone actually stole from rich people to give to the poor people he would be good."

"That's not the same thing."

"Why?"

It infuriated Derek when he did that. Used one word answers to completely derail what Derek said. "Because. Okay. Just because."

"But why?"

Derek turned to groan in his pillow. "Because, Stiles is a filthy pirate that steals okay. Now go to bed."

"I'm not tired. I want a story about pirates." Derek knew he did that just to press the issue.

"Tommy go to sleep before I smother you with my pillow."

He heard a huff and Thomas angrily turning towards the wall and shoving around his blankets.

Derek could practically see the pouty lip. He closed his eyes and sighed. "There once was a pirate, he was a bad pirate. He got put in jail and everyone celebrated at the bar. The end."

"That's the worst story you've ever told." Derek could hear the smile in his voice just like the one he was wearing.

"Tomorrow night's will be better. Get some sleep. I love you Tommy."

Thomas yawned. "I love you too Derek."

For once Derek was not awoken by Thomas crawling into his bed or nightmares. He was awoken by a crash in the alley. The alley that was right below their window. Derek scrambled out of bed shoving the blankets away and snagging a shirt as he went towards the hall. He walked out the hall and was met with glowing red eyes in the darkness of the room across the hall. The glowing gave way to darkness and his mother stepped into the faintly lit hallway.

"Did you hear it?"

"It did not sound big. Are you sure you closed the bin? Those raccoons are probably back. Go check Derek."

They had been plagued by the pesky vermin since Lily had left food out for them for a week and now no matter what they would not leave. Derek nodded at his mother and headed down the stairs and he grabbed a broom before going through the back door.

Derek let out a sigh as he closed the door behind himself.

When he turned around the silhouette of a man startled him into dropping the broom and growing claws and fangs. The flash of his eyes brought clear sight of someone he dreaded to see.

"Man you are the worst secret werewolf ever. That's twice now. If the crown's guard weren't such incompetent imbeciles I would say you'd have a problem."

Derek quickly shifted back. Maybe he would get a chance to beat him up in the back alley. "Say it a bit louder why don't you?!" Derek hissed out.

Stiles lifted a challenging eyebrow. "Man you really are the wor-" Stiles' lifted voice was quickly cut off by a hand over his mouth. A hand that had been across the alley, not but a moment ago. Derek's body was close enough to be threatening, but not enough to be squishing Stiles' bag in-between them. Derek's eyes made him look like he was about to tear Stiles to shreds as the hand gripped Stiles' mouth in a vice.

Stiles licked it.

"Augh gross! What are you, a child?"

Stiles stuck out his tongue. "Well then, you shouldn't cover my mouth. I need it for things." Stiles made a suggestive face at him.

"I don't want anymore filthy pirate on me, thank you."

The suggestive nature was wiped away by irritation. "Alright then. I believe that brings this conversation to an end then. If you would please excuse me, I have some business to attend to." Stiles did a mock bow. When he leaned back up he made a gesture like he was waiting for Derek to leave.

Derek had unimpressed eyebrows and petulantly crossed his arms. "I'm not moving until you leave my alley."

"This isn't your alley."

Derek's eyebrows taunted him and he adjusted so he stood a little taller. "That's my family's bar and we live right above it, I think it's safe to say this is my alley."

Stiles' eyes flickered up to above the bar and Derek inwardly cursed himself for giving out that piece of sensitive information. He didn't know what it was about the pirate, but he disarmed him while making him want nothing more than to just press his body against the wall and use his teeth on the man. "Not that it's any of your business pirate."

Stiles smiled. It seemed he was getting used to the sneer. That made Derek's blood boil.

"No, but it is good to know." Stiles chuckled. "If I ever need to find you, I'll know where to look."

Derek's face must've betrayed what he was thinking, because instantly Stiles' hand was no longer gripping the light brown satchel he had slung over his body and instead was clutching his arm.

"I mean you no harm." If Derek didn't know that he was dishonest for a living he'd swear he'd never seen a more honest man than he did in the face before him. "No matter what I said in the bar, I would never, and I mean never, put your family in harms way just because of who you are." Stiles' eyes were leaking sincerity and Derek found his shoulders slumping down in a calm relief he hadn't felt in months. It was dizzying how quickly the mood and conversation had changed.

Derek caught up to himself after a few moments of staring right into his eyes. Derek nodded minutely and stepped back while brushing off his hand. Derek had never been accepted for who he was entirely, ever, by anyone outside of his family. His family had to be constantly vigilant, never letting anyone too close. He felt flayed raw and his insides were a mess of not knowing what to do or how to feel. He had become so used to hiding who he was, never letting anyone in, and here was this pirate sauntering into his life when he should've been running. Or maybe Derek should've been the one that ran, but somehow he felt transfixed. Either way right now he had no idea what he should be doing, but he knew even if he wanted to, running would be the last thing he did. Even if he had no idea why.

Thomas hadn't been entirely wrong, though. He did like pirates, but that was before he found out that pirates were the ones stealing his family's business. Had been the reason for months of worry and barely scraping by. Months of Lily and Thomas no longer getting the cakes he used to buy them from the corner bakery, or the joy they brought. Months of Laura having to do the jobs they could no longer afford to pay anyone else to do. Months of his mom in her office making sure they didn't spend a single gold coin too much. Months of his dad trying to pick up odd jobs that had his bones creaking in a way that never failed to remind them how human he really was. They had owned New Haven for as long as Derek could remember. He couldn't lose it. He wouldn't. Not to the likes of this pirate.

And now that he had somewhere to focus all of the anger, that seemed to be more of a part of his heart than the blood pumping through it, he wouldn't let that go. Even still, just for this moment all of what had been suffocating him seemed to vanish to be replaced by desperation. It had been so long since he had felt something that deep other than anger. He almost forgot he could feel other ways. He still felt for his family of course, but the rage was always there. There were always flames crawling up his throat and licking the back of his brain. Now it was like cold ocean water was dumped down his back.

He nodded again. No matter how earnest Stiles seemed, Derek felt like he had to convince him. "We don't bother anyone. They would take the kids. He's only eight, she's nine. They don't deserve that. We aren't monsters, we ar-" Derek could tell he was getting himself worked up.

"Hey hey, I know. I know. Stupid heartless people that are afraid are the only ones who think that you are. You don't deserve any of the shit the Argent's rule has brought upon you. No supernatural being does."

Nobody ever disrespected the Argents like that. They grumbled and didn't care about them, but no one voiced their opinions like that. But maybe that was the plus of being a pirate. It made him wonder why the venom in Stiles' eyes was there. Why did he hate them so much? It seemed personal to him. Derek discretely took a breath in through his nose. Surely he wouldn't have missed it if Stiles was a were.

"I'm not a shifter. I just know when something is wrong."

Derek tried to not let it show that he was surprised Stiles caught him. "What about stealing, isn't that wrong?"

"Not if it was already stolen."

Derek scoffed. "So you're telling me everything you steal has been stolen?"

"No, I'm saying I only steal from the Argents and everything they have was either stolen of the backs of their people or from the rightful ruling families of Beacon and Duszasdom. They rule with an iron fist and Queen Victoria is as fit to rule as the crazed vengencewolf Captain. She lives for nothing other than to see her lands rid of peaceful families just because they are different, even at the expense of her own. She has no right to rule, much less of a claim on the riches of those kingdoms. They can talk peace and prosperity all they want, but the war with King Deucalion is ravaging the lands! The only thing keeping their control is their army of hunters and the so called strengthening arrangements. Just because they gave away the southeastern half of Beacon to the now Queen Natalie and Lady Lydia and the rest to Kate doesn't mean that that vile woman doesn't control it too! And they might have won tentative favor among the Duszaonians with my- the Sheriff's approval, but that won't last long. It might look nice on paper, but make no mistake that family controls everything and everyone who submits to them! And I refuse! Refuse! To be one of them! So call me dirty pirate all you want, I will never submit to a rule under an Argent who thinks about how she can kill innocents just because they're different, before she thinks about the good of her people! The Argents focus their armies inwardly hounding anyone who so much as growls all the while Deucalion slaughters her supposed subjects at the borders! She is unfit to rule as is her sister-in-law! The Argents do not deserve what they took!"

Stiles was heaving with rage in his eyes. If Derek didn't know better he would say that the air was actually charged with lighting, everything felt electric. Stiles seemed to collect himself, but it was more like the lighting was in a bottle now. He may have corked it, but there was still a danger there. "All I'm saying is, I might steal, but I steal from the right people. I don't hurt innocents. There are much worse things out there to be than a pirate."

Derek almost wanted to scream my family is innocent, but with how worked up Stiles had been he thought against it. "You can think what you'd like. I don't want to see you around here again. You are loud with your views and no matter if they are true or not, they attract attention. Attention we don't need. This is private property. Get away." Derek barely held back the urge to make a shooing motion.

Gone was the rage as Stiles slipped into that lazy smile he seemed to always wear. "Private property? This is an alley."

Derek was back to being annoyed. "My alley."

"Okay okay. I'll leave just one question."

Derek let out a huff of exasperation.

"Is it private property to the rat too?" He pointed at a small mouse eating a piece of banana peel.

"Should I take him with me? Or are you going to snap your teeth at h-" Stiles ducked the broom Derek swung at him with a laugh. He started down the alley and called over his shoulder. "Okay, okay. You win sourwolf, I'm going." He started walking backwards to look at Derek. "But I know you'll miss me."

Derek deadpanned. "Desperately."

Stiles let out an obnoxious laugh and set off in a jog. "Goodnight Miguel." Stiles' voice had a strange lilt when he said his name like he knew it was fake.

"Goodnight pirate." Even if he was justified in other things he was definitely still causing harm, whether he knew it or not. Nonetheless, Derek found himself oddly taken in with the pirate. He shook his head trying to rid himself of the amusement curling in his gut.

Derek could hear his mom moving down the stairs. He quickly went back inside to meet her in the back room.

"What took you so long? Were they in the garbage?"

He knew she would hear if he lied, and for some reason he didn't want to tell her about the pirate. "Don't worry mom. I cleaned up the filth out there."

"Good. Let's get to bed. It's late."

It wasn't until he was back settled in bed that he realized that Stiles probably was delivering his moonshine in that brown bag.

---

Derek yawned as he was lost in thought about the night before while wiping a glass. Why had Stiles been in his alley. Sure, he was probably delivering moonshine, but his alley specifically? The town was a maze of different back ways and turns. Not only did he burst into his bar, but to be outside his window? His mother always warned him about people hunting them. It always boggled Derek the amount of paranoia his parents and Laura had for being found. It wasn't just the guard they were weary of either. They wouldn't let anyone outside of the family watch Lily or Thomas, they never told people their real names, and they never allowed them to have friends get too close.

Derek had once. He had made friends with three people, kids really. They had nowhere to go and they were scared. Derek and his family took care of them, but as soon as his mother found out they were wanted by the Captain, Derek never saw them again. For a terrifying moment Derek had wondered if she turned them in to keep her family out of it.

Sometimes it was a lonely life, not being able to talk to anyone outside of his family. He loved them, but he wished that sometimes he could meet someone more than just once. The bar was filled with either people that he'd known since as long as he could remember or drifters that only stopped for a drink.

Then came Stiles.

Why did the first person he actually was able to have a conversation that didn't involve asking what someone wanted to drink, have to be with a filthy pirate?

He felt eyes on him and he looked up.

Laura had one eyebrow raised at him. "I don't think that glass is getting anymore dry. You've been on that one for like five minutes. Something wrong?"

Derek did not want to tell her about Stiles. "No." Fuck that was way too fast, and did his voice really go a bit high, ugh.

Laura looked gleeful. The damn shark looked like she smelled blood in the water. "Really?" Her voice was flat.

"Leave it."

"So there is something!"

Derek put down the glass. "Lauuuuuuraaaaa." He wished she would just go open the doors, so they could start working.

"Nope nope, you do not get to hide this from me. I'm your big sister and nothing ever happens in this town. Spill."

"It has nothing to do with you."

"Don't care. Do you want me to get Mom to as-"

Derek's eyes widened. "You wouldn't, you evil witch." Derek knew she absolutely would. "Fine." He had to remain vague. "I met someone."

Laura's mouth went open with a grin. "You met someone?" She unlocked the door for a group that was waiting.

Shit. By her tone he realized how fucked he was. He stayed vague alright, but by her tone she interpreted it way differently than he meant her to.

"Not like that!"

She looked downright smug. The bitch. "Sure. Not like that at all." She said it like it totally was like that.

"Don't go making a big deal about it."

"Are you kidding? You haven't met a person you haven't instantly hated. This is huge!"

Someone called for a barkeep. He contemplated telling her that he does actually hate them, but that would just open more questions. "I'm done talking about this." Derek walked away from her to help the patron.

"For now. I'll let you be, for now." That woman was evil, pure evil.

---

"You there! Stop! There's nowhere left to run!" The head crown's guard shouted at a panting Stiles heading straight towards the lookout point.

He laughed as he came to a stop where the cobblestone mounted upwards into a waist high fence. The crudely cemented together rocks arched out in an incomplete circle towards the sea, on the edge of a cliff. Stiles hopped up onto the ledge.

"Who said anything about running Captain Jackass?" Smirking, Stiles jumped off with a sloppy salute.

After the expected splash Jackson let out a sigh. "Every fucking time Stilinski."

A few moments later more guards rushed up behind him and swiveled their heads back and forth trying to catch sight of the pirate.

Stiles saw his laugh turn to air bubbles and then race each other to the surface in a wobbly game of chase. They broke the surface, but he kept swimming down.

What little air he had left he used to blow out a little bubble in front of him. He quickly reached out a hand and forced the bubble to stay down with the wave of his hand. He slowly opened his hand and splayed his fingers as far as he could. The air bubble rapidly expanded. Once it was big enough Stiles swam over to it and went inside. He took a deep gasping breath and let out a small chuckle.

"That will only get old once he figures out how I do it." Stiles looked over to a fish swimming by. "Which will be never."

With the flick of a wrist the bubble was moving and carting him along with it. It was moving at a leisurely pace till a big dark shape came into view.

"There she is."

As he came closer Stiles was able to make out the shape he had memorized by now.

Inside a bubble much like the one he was currently in, except much larger, was a ship. But not just any ship, the finest ship in, or on the seven seas. She far out shone any of the sunken ships that had ever graced the waves, because when she went down it was never for long. And any ship now would barely be out of port by the time good ol Claudia made it round the world two times flat. The finest ship and with a crew Stiles had mostly hand picked by the time he was fifteen. It had only taken five years to get Stiles from a sniffling kid just wanting his mom back, to first mate on the head ship of the most feared and respected pirate armada on the seas. It had only taken three more years after that before he convinced the Captain he could lead it before Stiles was Captain Stilinski the feared spark of the seas.

He was renowned for being fair, but ruthless. Many said that if it wasn't for his first mate the town of Schlongshire would be nothing but rubble and bodies not even worth burying. It was unusual for a human to be a pirate, but not unheard of. What was unheard of was a spark being one. When one could control countries and have given to them everything they could want simply for their allegiance, why would they go pillaging the seas for scraps. Sparks hardly came along twice in a century, they were powerful. And more often than not, destined for greater things than being a pirate. All the same, he lived a life true to himself and doing everything in his power to make the world better, while trying his damnedest to return to his family. Even if in his many years at sea he had learned to make a new one. One that ate oranges and threw each other overboard for a laugh. He helped supernaturals as much as he could, giving the homeless and hopeless with nowhere else to turn, a place to be accepted. To be cared for and a part of something.

It was no secret that most of his crew was strays he had picked up or saved from certain doom. He even protected quite a few from the grasp of the Argents and even the Captain.

His bubble met the much bigger one slightly above deck level and as they pressed into each other they combined and Stiles popped through. He fell down and landed on deck in a crouch steadying himself with on hand on the floor.

As if they hadn't seen his approach, his crew's eyes snapped to attention at the sound of his boots hitting the wood.

"Mornin Cap."

Stiles half bowed at the man carrying a barrel across the ship. "And an absolutely splendid mornin to you as well."

A man rushed up to him. "How did it go?" The man seemed nervous.

"Scotty, me matey, you worry too much."

Scott rolled his eyes. "You know you sound ridiculous when you speak like that."

"Arrr I do. And you know you love it."

Scott's face went serious. "How did it fare?"

Stiles' smile fell as he looked at him. "Where is she?"

Scott winced. "That bad? She's below deck, she didn't sleep well and has a headache. What happened?"

Stiles looked around to see if anyone was listening. Everyone seemed rather busy as soon as he looked. In fact as his eyes started sweeping the deck he clocked at least three people actually sweeping the deck which was odd because it was his turn to brush away the dirt. "Are you givin your Captain sauce?" Stiles hooked an arm around his neck and started walking them towards his quarters. "It went bloody brilliant as expected."

Once the door shut behind them Stiles let go of him. "How many times do I have to tell you, no talking in front of the crew. It's bad for morale."

"So it is bad news then?"

Stiles sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face as he tossed his hat onto his desk. "Duchess Evangeline hadn't heard or found anything and neither has Lord Emhyr." Stiles sat heavily down in his chair by his desk and Scott came closer. "If they're in either of their territories they're so well hidden that they'll never find them."

Scott crossed his arms as he leaned against the desk. "And you believe them? You think they're trustworthy?"

Stiles gave a considering look as he steepled his fingers. He nodded his head. "I do. With what we know about them they wouldn't dare lie to us. If there is any further information they would've passed it along. For all the Lady's talents, blackmail is one of her finest."

"And were you followed on your way back from your meeting with her?"

Stiles scoffed. "The Captain couldn't catch me if I had two hands tied behind my back, and I would know-"

Scott rolled his eyes and spoke instep with Stiles.

"I've gotten away shackled."

"- I've gotten away shackled." Stiles stuck out his tongue. "Make fun all you'd like, that was badass."

Stiles stared at him until one side of his jaw moved and his lip curled up. "Okay, that was pretty badass."

Stiles smiled. "Okay, I'm all good here. I'll be heading to bed shortly, I woke up so early it was late, you should go check on her."

Scott's expression changed. "You going to bed shortly translates to me walking in on you in the morning still up, drunk bent over the charts."

Stiles' wide smile dropped. "I'll be fine. You head to bed, you woke early as well."

Scott didn't move. "You may not want to worry the crew, but I'm not just crew. I'm your firstmate. You're my brother." Scott looked at him with his puppy eyes.

Stiles rolled his eyes. "Alright you can stop that now. I'm worried Scotty, of course I am. If we don't find them in time-"

"We will find them in time." Scott went over to the couch and sat down.

Stiles gave him a flat look. "Your eternal optimism is not welcome here."

"Okay fine. Say we don't, it will still be fine. We have a backup plan." Scott motioned him to come sit.

Stiles gave him a dubious look. "You and I both know she won't be able to kill her father, not when he hasn't done anything to deserve it." Stiles poured two glasses of rum and walked over to sit down.

Scott took a glass. "So we'll find a way around it. Stiles I know us, I know you. You've always thought of something, you always figure any problem we have out."

Stiles ran a hand through his hair. "That's just it Scotty, this isn't just some problem. This is the problem, the biggest problem. And if this doesn't go right then we're most likely dead."

Scott put a commiserating hand on his arm. "Yeah. That would suck for us."

"It would so suck."

Stiles drained his glass and set it on the floor. "Alright, open up. I need puppy cuddles."

Scott opened his arms and wedged a leg along the back of the couch and draped the other down the side of the couch. Stiles crawled into his arms and leaned his back against Scott's front.

"Scott you're the best friend ever."

Scott wrapped his arms around Stiles and breathed in his best friend that always smelled like spicy soap, seawater, and something crackling. It took him awhile to realize, but he knew now that was the scent of Stiles' rage. Ever present, even now, content to be wrapped up safe with the person he relied on most. "We are going to be okay. Stiles, I need you to realize that. We will figure it out and we will be behind you every step of the way. This crew, they would die for you. We're a family Stiles. You did that, you built us. You saved us. You aren't just my best friend or the best Captain, you're the best person I've ever known."

With his words Scott swore he could hear the thunder receding. "I just don't want to let everyone down. Everyone is all in on this one. And no matter what everyone says, even if it is their choice, if this goes belly up, it's on me."

"Yeah it is. It's on ye, it's on me, it's on everyone involved. But that won't stop you will it?"

Stiles sighed and leaned his head back into the curve of Scott's neck. "No, it won't."

"So we're in this together?"

"Aye. We always are. Always have been."

There was a pause of silence as they just relaxed.

"Why can't we be nine again, running around and stealing jelly tarts when our moms weren't looking?"

Scott slapped Stiles' stomach. "Excuse ye! I never stole jelly tarts! You never told me they were stolen! I still can't believe ye roped me into that one. It's been nine years and I still can't believe that!"

Stiles laughed. "But you ate them, you were a part of it!" He chuckled and then his scent went sour. "Maybe I was always meant to be a filthy pirate stealing things and hurting people."

"Hey what did we say about listening to the shit Jackson says?" Scott said it jokingly expecting a light-hearted response. Usually Stiles didn't take those sorts of things to heart.

He was serious as he replied, "It wasn't Jackson."

Scott set his drink down. "What? Who was it?"

Stiles stared blankly up at the ceiling. "Just some man, a barkeep. From yesterday."

"Don't let those speciest, Gerard lovers get to ye. He's a pig for-"

"No. He wasn't. He was an honest man, kind to his brother. I think he was a good man, a truly good one. He just- when he looked at me I could see just, this hatred. He hated pirates, he hated me even after I told him I didn't steal from the local fishermen. I felt like he truly hated me the second he looked at me. It was strange. I've never felt anything like it. You're going to think I'm mad but-"

"I already know you are mad."

Stiles elbowed him. "His eyes. I feel like I recognized them. And I just strangely wanted to get him to understand that I was not his enemy. I wanted him to think I was good too."

"Oh by thunder, that's your Lady Lydia voice! Have ye planned your wedding yet?"

"Shut up. I don't know he just felt... Important. I shouldn't even be thinking about this. It doesn't matter. I'll never see him again."

Stiles was still staring at the ceiling without moving.

"But ye want to?"

"It doesn't matt-"

"Do y-"

"Yes!" He turned and laid on his stomach. "I want his eyes to look at my eyes. And for him to not have so much hate in them. Is that so much to ask for?"

Scott smiled. "I think you deserve to be happy, but you pick impossible ways of getting there. But if you think he could be good for ye, go for it."

"It's not even that Scotty, I just feel in my bones I need to see him again. It's not like that at all. "

"Like your spark says so? Okay. Then do that."

"Don't be daft."

"I'm not."

"I can't be distracted right now."

"Oh, he's distracting is he?"

Stiles turned his head and smiled. "He's hotter than Lady Lydia."

Scott grabbed the couch like they were sailing stormy seas that were tossing the ship about. "Hotter than Lady Lydia!"

Stiles pressed a finger to his lips. "Shhhh she'll hear you!"

"We're under the ocean and she's miles away in her castle."

"She has tea with Davey Jones, they gossip."

Scott laughed at his friend which was interrupted by a knock and some one barging in followed by the door slamming. "Is the Cap- Ugh gross your weird incesto make out session is not something I wanted to see today."

"Cora, how many times do I have to tell ye. Knock, wait, then come in!"

Cora rolled her eyes. "I just came in to ask if the Cap-"

There was another knock and the door once again slammed open. "Is the Captain coming out to tell us what happened?"

Stiles pressed his face into Scott's chest and banged it against it. "Ma-li-aaaaa! Knock! Wait! Come in! I swear I will hang a sign."

"She can't read remember?"

Malia snarled at Cora.

"What? You can't."

"That's rude Cora! Malia put the claws away there will be no murdering of crewmates today." He turned to Scott. "I swear by the stars I thought I was their Captain not their mother."

They laughed as they stood up to stretch.

"Captain will give a quick talk, eat something, then get some sleep."

"What would I do without you Scotty."

"Set ye ship on fire."

"That was one time!"

"Do you know how many times it takes a ship to burn down? Once. And it happened again too!"

"That time doesn't count because technically it was the monkey and you know it!"

---

FOUR MONTHS AGO

Derek had tried to push it away to not focus on it, he even nearly forgot. But as the days went by he couldn't shake the feeling that someone was about to burst through the bar doors. It had been over a month since he had seen the pirate and he didn't know if he was expecting him to have sent the crown's guard or if the pirate would burst through the doors again. One sent dread and the other excitement and he didn't know how to feel about that, hell he'd deny feeling anything but contempt for the pirate. Each day Derek became more resigned to never seeing him again, but one night when the sound of rustling in the alley woke him up he sprung out of bed.

"I'll get it mom!" He called out a little too loudly for the late hour as he rushed down the steps.

"Don't wake the whole house!" That was Laura's voice not his mom's.

"Go back to sleep you wench."

He could tell she was raising a middle finger to his back without even turning.

He threw open the door and for a disappointing second didn't see anything. Slowly out of a shadow a figure emerged.

"What are you doing here pirate?"

That damn lazy smirk. "I thought you might miss me by now."

Damn him. "Like shit on a shoe."

The pirate laughed and Derek found himself smiling. The sticky sweat and fever of having too heavy of a blanket on in the tropic heat still clung to the back of his neck, but the warmth felt a little less scorching with the night air tickling his skin.

"Do you often have looters?"

Derek was confused by the question. "What?"

"Well, I was just wondering what would prompt you to so eagerly bolt out of bed in such a state."

Derek looked down at his bare torso and thin sleeping pants. He crossed his arms with a scowl, but quickly used one hand to try and smooth down his bed head.

Stiles looked up and pulled his bottom lip into his mouth while the corners tilted up.

"That made it w-"

"Worse. So much worse." The words flooded out of him with joy.

Derek's cheeks heated as he looked away.

Stiles came closer and lifted a hand. Derek flinched.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I won't hurt you."

He had never seen his eyes this close before and he knew he'd never pour another glass of whiskey again without thinking about how honest he looked right now. How truthful, how right.

He moved his hands up again and carded his hands through his hair to smooth it out.

"There." He smiled at Derek and he swallowed harshly. "Now, I can't do anything about the pants... Well, I cou-"

Derek met his raised eyebrow with a pair of flat ones. "No, thank you."

"Hm, are you that polite in the bedroom too?"

Derek was so caught of guard he scoffed as his cheeks flamed. "Must you be so shameless?"

"Yup. Otherwise I lose a bet that I couldn't live my whole life being the most shameless person to ever walk the earth. And unfortunately I put my ship as collateral, so I must keep to it."

At the mention of his ship Derek's eyes hardened again. "Well, it's rude and off putting."

"If you'd rather I could be putting out."

"I'd rather you leave my alley."

The step forward the pirate took was dangerous and Derek suddenly couldn't remember how to breathe. He was close before, but now he could see that it was exactly three thirty-five on a good sea faring day, the kind of day filled with just the perfect amount of sunshine filtering through windows that if he swirled a glass of whiskey it would be the closest anything could ever get to his eyes without a touch of magic. They were hypnotic and he wondered if maybe the pirate had been blessed by a seawitch. A blessing that any hate ever felt towards him would turn to butterflies.

"Would you though? Would you rather that I leave? Because I can."

Stiles went to take a step back and immediately Derek's mouth fell open. The pirate smirked at him and his rage came back at being tricked and toyed with. "Why are you here in my alley, pirate?" Derek caught sight of the bag over his shoulder and quickly dug in it and snatched out a bottle.

Stiles scrambled to get it back. "Hey, that's mine!" As he reached for it Derek held it up. Even though they were the same height, Derek grew up with multiple siblings and knew how to play keep away. As Stiles' limbs flailed in their pursuit he whined. "With all the shit you gave me about stealing, and here you are taking my things!"

Derek knew he had a right to what he said, but the anger was still there. He pushed Stiles backwards and looked right into his eyes as he sent the bottle crashing to the ground.

It shattered with an awful noise and liquor splashed everywhere. As the pieces scattered Stiles' eyes widened. "What the hell! Dude, that is so not cool!" His eyes were still downcast at the shards that now laid all over. As soon as he looked up he took a step back.

There was malice in his eyes clear as day.

"Leave pirate. And don't come back."

This time Stiles believed him. He scrambled backwards and as he took off into the night Derek heard something like he's not worth it. He felt that mutter as if Stiles had picked up a shard and slashed across his chest with it.

This entire time he's been rejecting the pirate. He's been belittling him, thinking he's heartless. A thief. A criminal. But to hear that he doesn't think Derek was worth it hurt more than he would've thought. Worth what? The time he took to talk to him? The effort to annoy him? The air he breathes? The space he takes up? The family that he has? Not worth what? Anything? It was so vague Derek's mind took it and ran. He imagined he meant all of them. Maybe that's why it hurt so bad, it was like multiple insults at once.

Just like that, as soon as he could no longer hear the pirate absconding in the night, Derek felt the familiar heat at the back of his throat. His anger and returned and decided he wanted nothing to do with the filthy pirate anymore.

Derek fell into bed still hot with anger and tossed his blanket to the floor. Derek laid there stewing till he thought about how his anger was justified. The pirate insulted him, even if he had done something offensive first. The pirate was a rotten no good liar. He didn't know shit about Derek. A self satisfied smirk found its way to his lips. He was glad he had vented like that now. It was good to get it out, because he deserved it.

With a yawn he decided to sleep and dream only of the pirate's ship sailing far away.

Thomas was asleep in his bed, but even from across the room he felt the comfort his brother brought him. He listened to his heartbeat and drifted off.

---

He was aware of the sunlight filtering into the room before he opened his eyes. He heard heartbeats from all the rooms and instinctively felt the safety of having his pack asleep around him. His eyes opened in soft little flicks of his lashes. He felt the peace of the morning and smiled. He hadn't slept like that in ages.

While getting dressed he debated taking a quick run. He woke up early and feeling rested, but he knew the day would tire him out quickly. It was better to just get to work. By the time Laura came down he had already set up all the tables, made breakfast for everyone, and gotten the bar ready for the day.

"Ugh, I nearly forgot you're a disgusting morning person. Seriously Der, it's been so long I was getting used to you rolling out of bed right before mom was about to lose her shit and go into your room to tackle you."

He let a small smile grace his face.

Her face still had a mark where she had laid on her pillow, but to Derek she was the most intimidating person he had ever met when she had that look on her face. She raised an eyebrow. "Why are you so glee ridden today?"

"I just slept well."

She became further intrigued. "And why did you sleep well?"

Derek needed to distract her with something and quickly. "I don't know. Hey, I made fresh bread for breakfast."

She squinted at him. "You're distracting me."

Oh shit, oh shit. It was the worst when she knew she was being distracted. She would be relentless now.

Her face turned sad. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me. It's just I miss how we used to be. We were so close. You used to tell me everything. I guess I just wanted to feel like your big sister again."

Derek felt the back of his throat getting thick. Damn her. This is how she wanted to play it, fine. He was ready to tell her to stop guilting him, but then he caught her eyes and he saw the sparkle of sincerity. Derek knew he had been pulling away from them, but he didn't think they'd notice. The guilt of it wore him down and he leaned against the counter with a huff.

He saw the satisfaction in her face, but she leaned against the bar as well to show how ready she was to listen.

His sister knew him, so when he sat in silence she didn't push.

Why had he slept so good? Why did he feel so content? The foreground of his mind wanted to shout that it was because he had sent the pirate off, but even if it was the loudest voice it wasn't the only one. With how calm he was he knew, deep down, that Stiles wasn't the only pirate responsible. He was just the only one Derek could hold responsible. Hell, it wasn't even just all the pirates' fault. It was the taxes to fund an unnecessary war. It was the war killing people's spirits. It was the Argents for creating the war. It was so many things, but Stiles was all he could focus on because it was easier to scream at one person than accept there's a flawed system in place that he can't fix. He knew rationally he didn't really want Stiles gone, so why was he happy that he was?

Or maybe it wasn't that Stiles was gone that made him happy.

Maybe it was that he was there at all.

Derek tried to find a reason for it to not be true, but he couldn't.

But then if he was happy that Stiles was there, why was he still happy once he was gone? It didn't make any sense. He felt confused and wrong footed.

Why was he so happy? Why was he so content? Why was h-

Derek's head lifted up from where he had been staring at the ground with a shock.

Why wasn't he angry?

That was the real question. He hadn't even noticed, but he didn't feel the heat at his back chasing him. He didn't feel the burning inside. For the first time in a long time he had awoken without the rage.

Maybe he wasn't happy that the pirate was there. Maybe he was just not angry once he had left. Maybe letting it out helped him in a way he hadn't been helped in a long time. It still made him feel bad. Especially remembering the way he looked at him once he told him to leave, but still. That hole where his anger was, was so much lighter to carry now. Even if there was an emptiness that came with how he got it.

He knew it wouldn't last, but today he was genuinely happy. He couldn't help wanting to see the pirate everyday if this is how he felt afterwards. Even if that was selfish.

Laura made a noise that let him know she was getting impatient.

Even if he didn't understand it, he knew he had to try to explain.

"That person I met." He could tell she got excited. "We had a fight. I yelled at him and I don't think I'll ever see him again and it makes me happy."

He could sense the confusion.

"I told you it wasn't like that Laur. But it's not really that I enjoy that he's gone either, at least I think not. I just- I always have this anger in me. It just hurts so much, and when I yelled at him it made it not hurt so much. I know it was shitty of me, but I-I just..."

"You just want it to stop hurting." Her eyes were teary and Derek could feel his getting glossy as well.

"I don't know why. I don't know why I feel this anger. God Laura, it doesn't make any sense. It's just there constantly, and it feels like I'm on fire."

At that Laura let out a choked sob.

"I'm sorry Laura. I'm so sorry I don't know why I'm like this."

She moved quickly towards him and pulled him into a hug. "Do not, ever, tell me you're sorry for how you feel. You hear me? You only have to apologize for how you act with those emotions."

Derek gripped onto the back of her shirt for a few more moments, grateful to feel the comfort of his big sister again.

When they broke apart Laura looked questioningly into his eyes. "Do you think this happiness will wear off once you realize, truly realize, that you'll never see him again? You'll never get to apologize. Don't you think you'll feel bad for what you said to him?"

Derek shrugged. "I guess I'll find out."

While they had breakfast Derek smiled at jokes and gave an extra slice of bread to Lily and they looked at him with approval. He hadn't realized how long it had been since he had interacted with his family normally. He enjoyed the day and he fell into sleep with a blissful sigh.

---

When he woke up the anger wasn't back all the way. It was just like there was a match, a tiny insignificant match. He could deal with a match.

By the end of the week the match had grown to a campfire and the hole inside him had gotten deeper.

By two more weeks the fire had consumed him and there was smoke biting at his lungs like he had never felt before. The hole inside him was a cavern that he didn't know how to crawl out of. Over the last few days he'd been getting concerned looks from the family he couldn't stop pushing away and snapping at. He didn't know how much longer he could take it.

---

THREE MONTHS AGO

It had been over a month since he had seen the pirate when Laura got the idea to try and provoke him. To try and get his anger out on her. No matter what she tried he wouldn't react.

She was particularly determined when she awoke him by smacking him.

It was a long day and he was just tired. Tired of everything. At the dinner table she made one final jab.

"What's even the purpose of you getting up at all if you're going to be so late?"

His mother was about to admonish her when he spoke.

"I don't know what the purpose of it is either."

He didn't know whether it was what he said or the way he said it, but everyone stopped. His father's cutlery clanked onto his plate and he sent unsure glances to his wife.

His mother pushed her chair away from the table and went to his side. She kissed his forehead and spoke. "There is always a reason to get up in the mornings."

He mustered a smile he didn't feel. "Right." He excused himself and headed to bed.

He heard the door open and close, then Thomas getting changed. They both laid down in silence till Thomas' voice came out sure. "Tell me a story Derek."

He looked to where his brother was. "Sorry bud. I don't think my stories would be any good tonight."

"A story doesn't have to be good to be worth hearing. Sometimes it just has to be what someone needs to hear, or even what someone needs to tell."

"Tommy?"

"Yeah Derek?"

"You really freak me out when you say stuff like that."

They both gently laughed into the darkness.

"You're eight. You shouldn't know the secret to life."

"Okay, then I won't. Tell me a story."

Derek settled into his bed more and turned to stare at the ceiling.

"I suppose you want one about pirates." Thomas loved his stories about pirates, and after meeting one Derek knew that would be the only thing he'd like to hear. He'd been able to avoid it after his fight so far. Thomas seemed to sense he didn't want to talk about them, but it seemed he'd have to finally cave tonight.

"It doesn't have to be about pirates." He could hear the, 'But I really want it to be.' in the tone of his voice.

"Just a short one, okay? I have to haul the brews tomorrow."

"Fine."

Thomas listened, completely enthralled, while Derek told a story about a boy cursed by a witch to breath fire. Thomas could feel the heat in his own neck as Derek described the boy choking on cinders. The rage bubbling in the boys chest felt oddly familiar, but Thomas knew it wasn't his own.

He spoke of ash clogging lungs and Thomas felt like coughing. Derek explained how every time the boy felt deeply, the fire poured out of him. Everything about what he was saying lit him up. He wanted to scratch at scabs that weren't even there. Thomas was scared of the darkness surrounding him, but it had nothing to do with how the dim room reminded him of smoke. What scared him was how it seemed to be coming out of Derek as he spoke, in great big puffs that snuffed out the light.

Thomas was about to try and move the story away from the flames by asking where the pirates were when Derek's tone changed all by itself.

He started describing the cool waves and the crisp scent of the sea that clung to an annoying pirate. The pirate pestered the boy till he lead him through the town. The boy showed him around and brought him to his favorite apple tree. They shared apples as they talked. The pirate made the boy laugh and as he did flames bubbled up and burned the pirate. The boy ran away as the pirate called after him. Derek told about the guilt the boy felt from burning the pirate, but he was happy because it had been so long since he had laughed like that. The boy sat on a rock over looking the harbor and watched ships leaving wondering if the pirate had left yet.

Derek had stopped talking and it took Thomas a bit to realize that was where he was leaving it. "That's the end?"

Derek sounded confused. "Yes? Of course it's the end, why wouldn't it be?"

Thomas sat up in his bed. "Because! You didn't deal with the witch, or explain why she had done it. You didn't let the boy let go of his anger. You didn't let the pirate know what was happening and why he got hurt. He deserves to know why! You didn't have them fall in love. They didn't even meet again!"

Derek's cheeks heated as he clung to one particular sentence. "Fall in love?"

"Yes! They were meant to fall in love right? The pirate made him laugh. The boy brought him to his favorite apple tree!"

"He hurt him. Why would he come back?"

"Because! Just because butthead! You can't stop the story there! You just can't." Thomas was emphatic about it.

"What happened to a story doesn't have to be a good one? Huh?" Derek raised an eyebrow at his brother who he knew couldn't see it.

"A story doesn't have to be good, but it does have to be completed. That's not the end. It just can't be."

Derek took a deep breath and Thomas could tell he was about to tell him to go to sleep.

"I'm going to finish it."

Derek's mouth dropped open. "How dare you! I told you it wouldn't be good. You wound me, deeply. I'll never recover. You don't like your big bros stories anymore, you have to rewrite the ending."

Thomas rolled his eyes. " I'm not rewriting anything you baby. Now listen."

Thomas talked about their reunion and how the pirate wasn't mad the fire burned him. He had a magical potion from the kraken that healed it, so it didn't even hurt. It did leave a cool shimmery scar that the pirate showed the boy because he thought it was cool.

Derek chuckled at that.

The boy told him he was frightened about how the pirate would react to his abilities. How everyone had shunned him, but the pirate didn't care. They became friends and the pirate asked him to sail away with him. He refused because he didn't want to burn the pirate's ship. But the pirate came up with a plan. He took him to a cove on the other side of the island and within they met sirens.

The sirens blessed the boy with their gifts. From then on whenever the boy would feel the fire inch up his throat all he had to do was sing and the salty waves would flow from his lungs out his lips to vanquish the flames.

To thank the pirate he promised to sing for him, but the pirate refused him. He told him to only sing for him if he would stay with him to sing aboard his ship everyday.

The boy said he would, and so he also became a pirate. They sailed the seas and lived happily ever after.

"And that's how the story is supposed to end!" Thomas' voice sounded snooty.

"Why would the boy become a pirate? And how could he leave his home? Also the pirate just forgives him? And you didn't even talk about the witch!" Derek replied snottily.

"Because he wanted to leave, everyone didn't like him."

"Still, why would he become a pirate?"

"Because that's what his friend was. He wanted to be like him, so he wasn't alone." Thomas explained.

"Still, he could've gone without becoming a pirate." Derek refuted.

"It's just a story Derek, why does it matter so much?" He seemed like he already knew the answer.

Derek felt gobsmacked. "You're the one that wouldn't let me end it! You made up an ending!"

"But you're the one trying to change what the characters did. They're just characters. What they do doesn't impact anything. It's not like they're real."

Derek was about to argue again when their door opened.

"Boys! You're supposed to be asleep. Go to bed!"

"Sorry Mom."

"Sorry Mom."

After a scolding look, she closed the door and they settled into bed.

"Goodnight love you." Thomas turned over.

He was done talking. Apparently, he had said what he was going to.

"Goodnight Tommy. I love you too."

Derek said goodnight even though he wanted to question him on what he meant. Thomas always seemed like he cared what the characters did. He always complained when Derek was too mean to one character or if one did something that didn't seem like them. Why did he say that what they did didn't matter?

He hadn't said that though, had he? He had said what they do doesn't impact anything.

The boy burning the pirate didn't impact anything. It wasn't like they were real.

Derek got a flash of hurt eyes and a speedy exit. It wasn't like they were real.

They weren't real.

But why did Derek have this pulling in his chest when he thought of the pirate in pain as the boy ran away?

He heard his brother's voice echoing. It wasn't like they were real.

Derek huffed and whispered to his brother's soft snores. "God damn you, you witch child."

What they did didn't impact anything, but Derek was real. His pirate was real. And he had hurt him.

Laura's words came back to him and he supposed he finally did feel awful for yelling.

He fell asleep cursing his siblings.

---

He had a fitful night of sleep and woke up already exhausted. The day drug on, and by the time he was on his last trip from the distillery he was beyond tired.

He was thankfully going down the last hill before he reached the bar. He debated taking a break, but decided to just get it over with.

He didn't see the uneven cobblestone till it was too late.

Fuck.

He managed to keep a hold on one of the barrels, but the other went sailing down the hill.

Derek watched it go with a detached sort of disappointment.

Fuck his life.

About half way down the hill a figure emerged from an alley. They were cloaked in shadow. The figure swiftly moved in front of the barrel while speaking, "What would you do without me?"

Just as they finished talking the barrel reached right in front of them. As it came close they brushed their coat behind them and lifted up one boot to stop the barrel. Their hat had a ridiculous feather standing up proudly as they stood with their arms akimbo.

For one shining moment they looked quite heroic. But the momentum from the hill, and then quickly being stopped must've sloshed the liquid inside. The second wave of force was unexpected. And just as the figure tipped their hat to look up, Derek caught a glimpse of a wide, brown eyed, mole dotted face.

Stiles' perched boot slipped in front of the barrel which, without anything stopping it, rolled into his other leg. Just like that Stiles went face first into the cobblestone, barely catching any of his weight with his arms.

"Roaloorororloriiiiiiikeeerkrlo." The barrel continued down the hill unbidden.

Stiles flipped over with a muttered, "Fuck." He lifted onto his elbows to see the barrel. After it had trampled some bushes, it rolled over a felled branch like a ramp. It was about to fly off the cliff's edge.

Stiles lifted a hand. It was Derek's turn to go wide eyed.

A soft yellow light flowed around his hand like currents. That same light wrapped itself around the barrel and caught it midair. Derek looked at Stiles only to see the same light emanating from his eyes. Derek nearly dropped the other barrel with shock.

With a wave of his hand the barrel was coming closer and obediently sat softly onto the ground next to him.

"Damn. I woulda looked so swashbuckling if that would've worked." Stiles picked up his hat.

"You have magic!" Derek was quickly moving closer, now wide awake.

"Yes? Didn't you know?" Stiles replied nonchalantly as he got off the floor.

His eyebrows went flat from where they were embedded in his hairline. "I wouldn't have asked if I knew." Derek stopped still a few paces away.

"Well sooorry. I figured the glowy hands-" He wiggled his fingers. "And barrel freezing midair were a big enough clue in, but yes I'm a spark."

He filed away the knowledge of what Stiles was, it was very shocking and he didn't know what to do with that. Derek laughed while he shook his head. "Are you always this much of a jackass?"

Stiles didn't miss a beat. "Only on Tuesdays and Thursdays." He brushed non-existent dirt off his shoulders.

Derek's eyebrows furrowed. "Today is Sunday?"

Stiles seemed thoughtful. "Huh. Well, then I guess Sundays too." He seemed to dwell on the thought for a moment longer before snapping out of it. "Anyway, you have your barrel and my pride has been brutally ripped from me once again. I do believe that brings our affairs to a close." Stiles clasped his hands behind his back, waiting for him to leave.

He didn't budge.

"So if you'll excu-"

"Wait." Derek set down the barrel.

There was a pause as they both waited for Derek to say something.

"About last time-"

"What about last time?" He seemed like a shark.

"Well, I just wanted to say- I wanted to say I was wr-"

"Captain Stiles!"

Derek startled as a portly old man came running out of another alley.

"You weren't at the agreed spot?" He looked out of breath and confused. Derek recognized him as Mr. Bramington. He came into the bar a couple nights a week, but hadn't been in a few weeks.

Stiles had a plastered on smile. "My apologies friend. I believe I'm done here anyway. Good to see you again." He gave a curt nod that Derek knew meant it was not.

"Well, should we get on with our business Captain?" He gave Derek a distrustful glance. "To the meeting spot?"

"Why yes, of course." As Stiles stretched out an arm to usher the man forth, he caught sight of that damn bag.

"Mr. Bramington, how have you been?" Derek said before they could leave.

He squinted in the low light, till recognition filled his features. "Why Derek! I've been well. How've you been, my boy?"

"Good. Have you truly been well? What about Martha and the boys?"

He seemed confused till Derek mentioned the boys, then his face lit up. "Yes I have. Martha as well. But that's not what you want to know is it, you scamp." He gave him a fond knowing look. "You're asking after Jacob, aren't you? He talks about you constantly. He truly will be overjoyed to hear I ran into you. You must meet up. You've only seen each other, what twice? That cannot stand. Oh and your little brother could come along to play with my Fletcher." His eyes looked dreamy. "Just think of it, two of my boys, marring two of Jadwiga's boys."

Stiles' jaw dropped and he looked at Derek squinting, before he shook it off.

"You know, your mother caused quite the stir when you all moved here. No matter how humble she tried to be her beauty nearly broke quite a many marriages. But I have always thought higher. Admitted, I did think it would be my oldest and Laura that got together, but fate always finds a way."

Stiles and Derek shared sideways glances. Derek mouthed something that seemed like make him stop.

"I think it's actually qui-"

"Shall we continue to our business?"

His gaping mouth closed with a shake. "Why yes. Yes, of course."

Derek raised a hand. "Actually I was wondering, because I haven't seen you at the bar in awhile. And now you're taking up with this sort of... Company."

Stiles narrowed his eyes.

The man seemed to fumble his works. "Right well, you see. Well, times are tough. You understand my boy, right? Do tell your mother I am sorry, but with the war, you understand. Even for my son's future in-laws it's hard to manage." The man worried at his overcoat. "Well you do u-"

"Understand. Right." Derek's words were clipped as he stared at the pirate.

The pirate slung an arm over Mr. Bramington's shoulders with a smirk. "Now that that's sorted, shall we? I do appreciate," The pirate looked directly at Derek. "That I'm the one getting your business."

Derek could feel his blood boil. Let the competition begin. "Not so fast." He plastered on a fake grin. "I don't want to lose such valued customer, especially one with such deep familial ties. So what do you say, half priced drinks tomorrow?"

Mr. Bramington's eyes gleamed.

"Now now. I think he's developed quite the taste for moonshine, there's no going back once you've tasted our quality."

Derek scoffed. "That pisswater? My sister does all of our brewing. She carefully makes every batch. You'd be lucky not to be actually drinking piss with him. And half priced is one hell of a deal."

Derek would've sworn there was a flash of light in his eyes before he fired back. "Half off is one hell of a deal... What about buy one bottle get the second free? And I personally assure you my first mate stopped pissing in the bottles months back." He gave Mr. Bramington a hearty back slap and tossed a wink at Derek.

Mr. Bramington let out a laugh at the pirate's joke. "Well, that does sound good. I'll-"

Derek felt bad for what he was about to do, but he couldn't help it. The smug way the pirate was looking at him was infuriating. "First round on us, anything you'd like. Then half off. And I would love it if you would bring Jacob with you. It has been so long since I've seen him."

The man nearly started to shake with glee. He ran over to hug Derek, and he lifted him slightly. "Deal my boy! Oh, he'll be so excited! We'll see you four sharp. Right after work. I can't wait to tell Martha! She'll have to hurry up and finish her dress for the wedding!"

They watched as the man sped off.

Stiles turned to Derek with disbelieving eyes. "As in, she's already started the dress?"

They both burst out laughing at the same time.

Once their laughter subsided, Stiles turned to him with a smile. "So I take it you're not actually in a starcrossed love affair with his son, as he seems to think?"

Derek raised an eyebrow then his face went flat. "Why would you even have to ask? We're desperately in love. Don't tell anyone though."

"Ah his parents don't know?" The pirate put on a face of faux sympathy.

"It would break them if they found out." Derek was still speaking deadpan. He moved closer to the barrel Stiles caught.

Stiles laughed once again. "My lips are sealed. That was quite heartless though. To mess with that poor man and his son just for some rivalry with a handsome pirate."

Derek felt a stab of guilt again, something he was getting quite used to feeling. "I would feel worse if his son wasn't so insistent. The only time we spoke he mentioned that his father could acquire five pigs for my hand."

"That's ludicrous!"

Derek smiled. "I kno-"

"You're worth at least twenty. And maybe a horse."

He was taken aback as his cheeks flamed.

"And don't think I've forgotten that you didn't dispute that I'm handsome." He tossed another wink and Derek wondered how he could ever be so carelessly charming.

"I- wh- no."

"To what? No to what? The pigs? Or my devilish good looks? Maybe you object about the horse and I see where you're coming from. Your personality leaves a bit to be desired, so maybe a compromise. Twenty pigs and then an ass included into the deal."

Derek drew his eyebrows together in confusion. "Why would they give my family you?"

Stiles' face looked shocked, but still amused. "So you do have jokes hidden away in those eyebrows."

Derek let the corners of his mouth lift. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"Well bravo. That one was good. Got any other ones?"

Derek felt the lightness in his chest, but it wasn't filled with heat either. Right now it felt like he was a down pillow. He wanted to float on the cool night air forever. "Maybe. If you stick around."

He looked caught off guard. "Hm, well is this your alley?"

It was Derek's turn to not expect what the other said. "I'm sorry?"

There was a defensive edge to his eyes now. "It's just every time I find myself in your company you tell me to get out of your alley. So is this your alley?"

Derek considered. He tried to pull up all of the anger he felt with their little rivalry, but he just felt light. "No. This is just a street. An empty street, late at night. Anyone can meet anyone here."

"Even a pirate?"

He thought back to Thomas and Laura. "Yes. Even a pirate."

He nodded and seemed to accept it, but the defensive nature was still there. "So tonight I'm just Stiles and you're just..."

"Mig-"

"I seriously am not calling you Miguel. There is no way that is your name. How bout a nickname?"

His response was immediate. "No."

"Eyebrows? Cranky pants? Barkeep?"

Derek didn't like the idea of him calling him any of those things, but barkeep was especially grating. It was like that's all they were. Just barkeep and customer. They weren't even acquaintances yet, but they weren't just that. Well Derek didn't know what they were, he wasn't even sure he didn't actually hate him. Maybe they were rivals. Rivals that were occasionally friendly, but rivals all the same. That sounded right.

"Do not call me any of those."

"Well what do you suggest sourwolf? Hey tha-"

Derek instantly was alarmed. "Would you shut up! We are in the street!"

It took a beat but he realized his mistake. "Yes, in the empty street. At one in the morning!"

Derek still looked upset. "Still!"

Stiles rolled his eyes. "Oh, for the love of the bloody sea! Fine!" His eyes started to swirl with black and the inky color smoked out of his eyes in wisps. That same dark black weaved around his fingers and gradually faded to a smoke all around them.

Derek took two steps back in alarm.

The smoke quickly dissipated and his eyes went back to whiskey brown. "There. Now no one can hear us. Happy, sparky?"

Derek raised an eyebrow. "I find that interesting that you picked that, considering you're the spark."

Stiles opened his mouth then shut it. "You have me there, spot."

"I will rip your throat out. With my teeth." Derek sounded sincere.

A jolt of excitement raced up Stiles' spine. "I've never been one to shy away because of a threat. Especially not one as alluring as that." Stiles smirked.

Derek floundered. "I didn't- That's not what I meant."

"Sure it wasn't sourwolf. Then, how exactly did you mean it?"

Stiles took a step forward and had an evil glint in his eye. Derek found himself taking a small step back. He hit the barrel behind him and Stiles followed till he was close.

"How did you mean it big bad? Did you mean you would slam into me? Press me against a wall? Would you flash your eyes at me to let me know who was in control? Would you growl? I bet your claws would be out. Would you be careful with them? Or would you scratch me all up? Would you leave bruises from where you held me down? Would my wrists wear your mark like manacles from when you pressed them above my head? I bet you could do it with one hand, that you would."

Derek swallowed harshly.

"Would you make me beg you? Would I be able to see the hint of fang peeking from your lips as you smiled? Would you tip my head up as I pleaded?"

Stiles slightly lifted Derek's chin to tease him. He leaned his head forward. "Would I feel your breath against my neck?" He puffed out a breath and Derek let out a noise halfway between a pant and a whine.

"Stiles I-"

He interrupted him. "Is that how you'd do it? Would you do all that and then between one exhalation." Another tickle of warm breath. "And the next, you'd use your teeth to rip. Out. My. Throat. Is that how you'd do it big bad?" Stiles leaned back to look into his blown eyes and moved far enough back so Derek could move away from the barrel.

"No." Derek's voice came out shaky and his mouth was dry.

Stiles made a contemplating noise. "Hm? Well then, how would you?"

Derek knew this was the moment he took back the power. The moment he shoved Stiles into submission, but remembering how his eyes glowed just moments before he held that back. "I wouldn't be able to do any of that. The moment I moved towards you, you would use your magic to restrain me."

Stiles nodded and seemed to be surprised by the knowledge he saved for later. "Okay. Good to know. Well, I already knew, good to know you know, who's in charge here."

Derek was glad to be on some what more solid footing now. "Oh no, that's not what I said at all." He let out a low growl and leaned forward as his fangs peeked from behind his lips.

He heard Stiles' heartbeat jump.

"Agree to disagree, sourwolf."

"Keep telling yourself that."

Stiles smiled so wide his eyes closed. "I will. Thanks."

"You're impossible."

"Oh come on, you wouldn't like me if I was easy. An easy friend couldn't hold your attention."

Derek furrowed his eyebrows and counted the moles on Stiles' face as he realized, no he wouldn't.

Stiles rolled his eyes and pushed him away as he spoke. "Fuck off if you're about to say-" His voice imitated Derek's as he put on a scowly face. "We're not friends."

"I wasn't going to say that."

"Oh yeah, what were you going to say?"

"I would like you if you were less annoying."

Stiles' mouth dropped open and Derek laughed.

"You know you're cute when you're indignant. Less cute when you talk though."

Stiles' face went red as he turned away.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay, we should get going." He deflected.

"Oh, you can do all of that earlier, but I call you cute and you look like you were left in the sun for days?"

Stiles turned back around with a finger pointed up, but his mouth opened without any words coming out.

"Get your finger out of my face or I'll bite it."

Stiles shov-

"Ow!" He quickly pulled his finger back as a self satisfied smirk found its way to Derek's face. "You bit my finger!"

"You shoved your finger in my face. I told you I would bite it."

"What are you, five?!"

Derek shrugged.

Stiles cradled his finger to his chest as he glared at Derek. "First, you make fun of me by calling me cute, then you brutally bite off my finger. What's next? Are you going to stab me?"

"I wasn't making fun."

That reply wasn't expected and the shock showed itself on his face. He looked apprehensive. "People don't call me cute. They just don't."

Derek stepped closer and cradled his face as his thumb stroked the freckles on his cheeks. "They should. It's true. Even when you're red as a cherry, you're cute." Derek sounded distracted. "Especially then."

"Your ass is cute." Stiles inwardly cursed that his response to compliments was humor.

Derek snorted a laugh and let his hand drop. "Why, thank you. I do believe Jacob has mentioned it when he thought I couldn't hear."

"Well, I've got to respect a man that knows a true asset when he sees one."

"Was that a pun?"

Stiles put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm about to tell you something very important, it's always a pun."

They both smiled and Derek realized his cheeks were starting to hurt from it. And of course that's when reality had to crash down on him.

"Well, it was nice to know you sourwolf." He gave an exaggerated bow and Derek's stomach flipped.

"Wait, are you leaving?"

Stiles tilted his head. "Yeah. I mean my sale was a bust, thanks for that by the way. No moonshine tonight, I got you instead." His face lit up. "Maybe that's what I'll call you. Moonshine."

Derek wrinkled his nose at the name.

"Anyways, I have to head back." He pointed behind himself.

"I'm headed that way too. We can walk together."

Stiles looked at the two barrels. "I think you'll be slower, besides you don't don't want to be caught out with the likes of me. This time already has been a risk for you."

Stiles started to turn.

"Wait! I just- I was going to ask for your help. They are very heavy and it didn't look like much work for you to lift one before." He threw in one final plea. "I'm tired."

Stiles rolled his eyes. "Honestly, what would you do without me." That same yellow flowed around him again, and the barrels were both lifted up.

"You didn't have to- I could've taken one."

Stiles rolled his eyes. "It's not like they're heavy."

Derek grumbled. "They are, you just cheat."

"This isn't cheating. It takes just as much effort, if not more."

Derek was intrigued. He had heard stories about sparks and their power. Given their rarity he didn't think he'd ever meet one. "How does it work? I mean, I just assumed you waggled your fingers and it, I don't know, happened."

Stiles gave him an unimpressed look. "You thought magic... Just happens?"

He shrugged.

Stiles sighed and began walking. "There are different types of magic, but rarely does it ever just, happen. Every type of magic takes years of mastery and skill. Though you can have an aptness for it, a predisposition. Something that makes magic just," Stiles paused, seemingly searching inside himself for the answer. "Belong. Magic just belongs inside some people. It is meant to flow, to work and be inside of some people. Like me. And like how being a werewolf belongs inside of you. Its not a part of you, it is you."

Stiles stopped walking and Derek did as well.

Easy as breathing Stiles' eyes turned scarlet and flames reflected from his eyes into Derek's while he watched with interest. Stiles raised a closed fist and slowly opened it to let loose little cinders. They rose up and as Derek watched their dance they took shape of a bird. It swooped and soared, but soon enough they took on a new shape. A man's face slowly came into focus. As they settled Derek recognized the face as his own. His image morphed and he saw his eyes gather most of the burning particles and it changed his face to a look of anger. Just as it looked like it was about to yell something, all of the cinders instantly gathered into his eyes. In the next moment, the two spots were gathering. As the groups collided they shot up into the air to once again form the bird, this time wings spread wide. Derek heard a ear piercing screech, but it only reverberated inside of his own chest. Just like that, they disappeared leaving not even a trail of smoke in their wake.

"Neat party trick, huh?" His eyes went back to normal and he resumed walking, like he hadn't just changed Derek's worldview.

"That was bloody brilliant!"

Stiles shrugged. "You should see what I can do with a glass of water."

Derek's eyes shone. "I bet that's brilliant too."

Stiles rubbed the back of his neck. "Thanks."

"That bird was beautiful. And it really looked like my face!" Derek faltered and seemed unsure, "Except, why-why did it look like that? So angry and hateful?"

Stiles looked away. "That's how you looked last time I saw you. Usually, it latches onto a vibrant memory of someone's face."

Derek solemnly nodded. "Right. I'm sorry about that. I shoul-"

Stiles waved a hand. "It doesn't matter. Who cares."

"I do. I treated you unjustly. I apologize."

Stiles looked over at him. "I accept." He looked down at his hands for a second. "Well, I should go."

Derek looked at him with alarm. Perhaps his apology was lackluster. "But-" After his objection he took in the scene of a familiar back alley. "Oh. We're already here."

Stiles scoffed. "You hadn't noticed, sourwolf?"

Derek looked sheepish. He hadn't. He was so wrapped up in Stiles he could've walked straight into a pole and he wouldn't have noticed.

"I just- we barely got to talk."

"My favorite fruit is oranges, I love freshly baked pastries, but I can only get the best ones in a land far away from here, and I've had a long day. These barrels are heavy. There, those are some things about me." Stiles gently set down the barrels and the yellow magic faded after Derek opened the door for him.

Derek nodded. "Right. Of course. I know they are, I haul them every week." He hoped he picked up on what he was trying to ask for.

"I bid you farewell, sourwolf."

The frustration at him leaving without the insurance of another meeting got to him. "Goodnight pirate."

The pirate's face closed off at that. He quickly turned on his heels to leave.

Shit. This alley must be cursed. He always said the wrong thing there.

"Stiles?"

He didn't turn. "Yes?"

"My favorite fruit is apples."

When Stiles' face came into view it had a soft smile. "Sleep well, moonshine."

"You as well, Captain." Stiles face was shocked and pleased at Derek using his proper title for the first time.

Stiles walked away again and Derek reluctantly went in the door.

Damn it. He would never see him again.

Damn it. As Stiles walked away he thought of how he should've made plans for another meeting, but he hadn't.

Derek fell asleep and for the first time, dreamed of images in fire and ashes that didn't end in heartbreak.

---

Mr. Bramington and his son came sharply at three. Derek was able to make his excuses as he kept himself busy while they drank. Jacob, upon realizing his father must've greatly exaggerated his interest, left with his father in tow.

The evening passed in a flash after that as Derek's mood was high and the bar was full. He cleaned tables diligently as his mother poured for the evening crowd.

A patron made a joke and he smiled back. He was about to crack back when he looked up at the swinging doors clattering open.

His smile faltered and he nearly dropped the jug he was carrying.

His mother shot him a look and quickly wiped her hands on her apron as she weaved the tables to get to their intruder.

He had to get upstairs. Lily had not learned proper control over sensing pack distress, so his father had no way of knowing what was happening.

Over his shoulder he heard, "Captain Whittemore, have you come for a drink?"

At that name being uttered the tavern fell to a hush.

"No. I'm here on business."

Derek felt the bile at the back of his throat as he reached the girl's room where they were studying.

His dad looked up from where he was pointing at the book in front of Lily with a smile. One that faded as soon as he saw Derek's state. He instantly knew something was wrong.

"Where is your mother?" He asked urgently.

"Downstairs with the Captain."

The color drained from his face.

Thomas instantly shot up and grabbed Lily's hand. He drug her over to his room and Derek could hear him grabbing their packed bag from under his bed and handing Derek's to Lily.

His father similarly went to his room and grabbed his parents bag.

From downstairs Derek heard, "What sort of business?" His mother's voice cool as a river.

"The official kind."

They both rushed back into the room and suddenly Derek couldn't hear anything except the blood pumping in his ears.

He could see the commotion of them moving around him, but could not bring himself to move.

He saw Thomas sling a bag around himself, then he helped Lily pull out one from under Laura's bed.

He saw his father grab a knife out of his bag and he wondered if people were about to bust down the door. If his father could hear them he should be able to, but he just couldn't focus. His mind felt foggy as he watched his father open and lean out of the window. He saw him stick the knife under one of the letters on the sign right outside the window. He pried until the H came off. He knew there was a reason for it. His mind was just so blurry right now.

Aven. That was a flower. Right? Derek was grasping to figure out what it meant. It didn't make sense. The letter now laid on the window sill and it meant something. Laura would know. Maybe it was about Laura?

His father was now tucking the knife into his waistband and talking to him. Was he talking too? No, he didn't think so. It didn't even feel like he was breathing. What was his father trying to say? Something about his mother. Was she here? He tried to shake his head to clear it. To bring his father's or his mother's voice back into focus, but he could not. He tried desperately to bring air into his lungs, but once again he couldn't.

Suddenly he felt a small hand on his arm and the world snapped back into focus. "Derek, you need to calm down."

He looked into Thomas' eyes and they were set with determination. "You need to help us. We can't hear down there, but you can. What is mom saying? Can you tell us?"

Derek nodded even though he wasn't sure he could do much of anything right now. It was taking all of his strength to just remain standing. He focused on the hand holding his arm then on his mother's voice. "She's taking the Captain to the storeroom."

"What else?"

He still felt a bit dazed. He didn't answer Thomas.

He saw him moving and he brought Lily closer.

"Ow!" He felt the pinpricks of tiny claws.

"What else Derek?!"

He felt his head clear. Oh God, he needed to protect them. The Captain would kill them. He looked at his little brother and cousin. He was instantly dropped back into the panic of the moment as his senses returned fully. "She's taking him around. He's... looking for something?"

His father's eyebrows pulled together. "What?"

He listened and tried to catch their words, but it was hard with them in the heavily insulated room. He finally pieced enough words together.

"He's looking for moonshine?"

His father deflated and he looked two seconds away from a heart attack. "Thank the gods." There was an uneasy set to his shoulders still, but he wasn't as distraught. "I should go down. Derek stay here, and if you hear us tell you, you take them and you run."

He dutifully nodded.

His father went downstairs and the three of them sat huddled together, a kid under each of his arms, tensely till Derek heard the guards and the Captain leave. Lily started shaking and he just held her tighter. Derek hadn't realized how scared he was till he saw his mother enter and his claws vanished from where they were buried in his thighs.

At the sight of her, Thomas started to sob. His parents quickly joined them on the floor where Derek was leaning against Laura's bed. They wrapped them up in a hug and just sat there for a couple minutes.

Lily's timid barely used voice broke the silence. "Safe?"

Derek pulled her onto his lap as his mother kissed her forehead.

"Safe."

She stopped trembling and nodded.

His mother rose to her feet and Derek wanted to pull her back down.

"I have to go to the meeting place. Laura would've been done by now and she would've seen the sign. She'll be waiting."

The only thing keeping him from asking his mother to stay was the need to see his sister.

When they went back downstairs the bar was empty besides Mark who had reached across the bar to serve himself.

As his mother moved to leave his father stopped her. "Maybe I should go, love. I'm less noticeable than you. And you should stay with the kids."

She considered for a moment. "Alright. But hurry."

He nodded then walked up to her. They briefly rested their heads together then kissed. "I'll be back soon, dear."

He was out the door.

They helped their mother clean up the bar as they waited.

Derek was flipping a chair over as the doors burst open and a teary eyed Laura froze at the door. After seeing them alive and unharmed she ran closer and swept the two youngest into her arms. Derek moved closer and he was brought into the hug as well.

"I saw the sign and I thought- I thought I'd never see you again." Her voice was shaky.

Their mother smoothed down her wild hair. "Did you leave your father behind?"

Just as she finished speaking. The doors burst open yet again. His father was out of breath as he braced on his knees. "Don't worry about your old man. Just run all the way back why don't you."

There had been so many people bursting through the doors these days ever since Sti-

Derek's heart dropped out of his chest.

They were here looking for moonshine. Stiles sold moonshine. Derek was with him last night.

This was all his fault.

Derek didn't know whether he felt more guilt or more anger.

He suddenly thought about Stiles warning him that being around him could be dangerous, then he thought of the dirty pirate some how telling Jackson about them.

He now felt nothing but rage and contempt for the pirate.

He started to stalk off to his room, but Laura caught his arm. She looked to their mother. "What are we to do?"

His mother and father looked at each other for a few moments. "We will stay, for awhile. To leave immediately would arouse suspicion, but if they call again we will leave. If this is just about erroneous moonshine rumors then this will blow over. We just stay quiet and calm. Go to sleep."

Derek was anything but calm as he laid down for bed.

He sat stewing for a half hour before he heard a groan. "I need you to stop Derek. I can't sleep. It won't help being angry or feeling guilty."

Derek didn't know what to say.

He heard a sigh and covers rustling.

Thomas settled in beside him and he instantly felt the comfort of his brother.

"Do you want a story?"

Thomas laid his head on Derek's shoulder. "No. I think I just want to be here."

Derek knew exactly what he meant so his just kissed his forehead and said, "Okay."

Less than ten minutes later he heard shuffling in the girl's room before their door opened and in walked Laura holding a sleeping Lily to her chest. "Move over Der-bear."

It had been awhile since he had heard the teasing nickname and didn't care for it, but he complied nonetheless.

All four of them settled in.

He heard his mother check all the doors and windows. She came to check on them.

She gave all four of them a kiss on the forehead before saying goodnight.

Derek slept restlessly. If it wasn't Thomas kicking him it was Laura's snoring. Lily was a sticky weight on his chest. Good God, that kid was a furnace. He was already awake when the noise started from the alley, but all the wolves fell quickly out of slumber.

Thomas awoke with a look of alarm. "What is it?"

Laura went to stand, but Derek stopped her. "You stay with them. It's probably the raccoons again."

He met his mother in the hall.

"I'll check tonight Derek."

He felt a bit of panic bubble in his chest. "No, it's okay I can. It's probably that pest again."

"I want to make sure tonight." She looked like she was listening to the back alley.

Shit. He hoped she was focused enough on the noise outside and not on his heart. "I looked out the window. It's just raccoons."

She looked at him for a moment and he tried to be calm. "Okay."

He nodded and went downstairs.

He took a steadying breath before opening the door.

The pirate's mouth opened with some quip or another at the ready. Derek quickly put a finger against his own mouth to tell him to be silent. He moved his hands in a way that he thought looked like magic using. Stiles raised and eyebrow and rolled his eyes. Which turned black and wispy like they had before.

The smoke cleared and he spoke. "There, now no one can hea-"

Derek had him up against the opposite wall by his throat before he even finished his sentence. The pirate's eyes went wide as Derek lifted him slightly off the ground. He started to try and break the hold as Derek's claws started to make beads of blood drip down his neck. "Do you enjoy toying with people?! With their families?! Well, I've had enough of your sick games, you bastard! All this time you try and get me to trust you, but then you do this?! Why even bother?!" Derek's eyes were murderous.

The pirate was desperately trying to take in a breath. "St-stop. W-wh-what?"

He thought of how scared he had been earlier, Derek's resolve didn't falter. "I should kill you for what you did to my family."

The confusion in the pirate's eyes seemed out of place to him. He let up just a bit.

The human's nails dug into his arms. "Do-don't ma-make me d-"

Derek pressed harder again. If he was innocent why wasn't he using his magic to help himself? Did he feel guilty?

"P-please."

With a growl Derek let him drop to the floor. He fell to his hands and knees and took in great gulps of air.

In-between deep breaths he spoke. "What. The. Hell."

Looking at his prone form Derek wanted to kick him till he heard bones crack. "You are the scum of the earth. You prey on innocent people no matter how much it hurts others."

Stiles shakily made it back to his feet. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Derek whirled on him and the pirate's arms whipped up placatingly.

"Don't play dumb!"

"Listen to my heart. Does it skip? I have no idea what you're talking about."

Derek's eyebrows pulled together. He thought back. How would the Captain have known if the pirate hadn't told him? "That doesn't make any sense. He knew. He knew we talked. How did he know?"

Stiles looked as confused as Derek. "Who? How did who know?"

Derek sneered, "The Captain. He came to my bar because of you."

Stiles' eyes went wide. "What? No. That doesn't make any sense. He couldn't have not withou- What exactly happened?"

"He came looking for your pisswater, as if we would sell it." The confusion morphed back to anger.

Stiles let out a relieved breath. "Oh."

That boiled his blood. "Oh?! Oh?! Like he couldn't have found out about us?! Like we couldn't have been forced to flee our home?! Like it isn't important that my entire family could've been torn apart and killed?!" His voice rose as fearful tears fell.

"No. Oh, like I'm glad he didn't know about you. Oh, like I'm glad you and your family are safe. Oh, like I'm glad you weren't forced to leave."

Derek felt like someone had put all of his emotions into a cup and mixed them. "What? How- why do you say things like that, and yet you leave me so confused? I always feel so many different things around you. I feel like I should trust you, even when I know it is not so."

The pirate's face turned into a soft smile. "Feel all you would like, but know this, I would never, ever put your family in harms way. I would die before telling anyone something that would harm you or them."

Derek just kept falling deeper and deeper into the darkness. "Why? What have we done to earn such fierce allegiance?"

Stiles looked into his eyes and he swore he saw a flash of guiding light. "Because, you exist in a way that is different. Someone that has everyone against them needs at least one person on their side." He squinted at him. "And I don't think you've ever had that person, moonshine."

Derek decided he believed him. The fight left his shoulders and he let the anger fizzle. He replied, "You hurt me. You hurt me because you exist in a way that is different, but similar to me. You hurt me because you have decided to care for me, and I don't know what that means. Or even if I can allow it." He stared directly into Stiles' eyes. "I cannot yet decide if you are a poison or a salve. If you are meant to be my healing or my damnation. A kiss of grace-" Derek looked to his lips. "Or the silver tongue of the devil."

Stiles' arm reached up, but it froze as Derek looked to the side and continued, "Because I was around you my family could've lost everything."

His arm dropped.

"I am sorry Miguel. Truly."

Derek looked back intensely. "Are you bad for me?"

Stiles wanted nothing more than to say no. "I could be. I do not know."

Derek sighed. "My family I-"

Stiles' smile did not reach his eyes. "It's okay. I know. I understand."

When Stiles' hand cupped his cheek he closed his eyes against the feelings welling inside of him. He didn't see it, but he felt the soft press of lips against his other cheek.

"Goodbye, my moonshine."

He had only met him a hand full of times, but Derek had this pull towards him. It felt like if he let him walk away he'd spend the rest of his life regretting it. He didn't want to see Stiles leave. "Goodbye, Captain."

When Derek opened his eyes he saw a faint trace of black smoke. His spell was gone, just like him.

"Derek?" His mother's voice called out from the steps. "What's taking so long?"

Derek wiped under his eyes and walked back inside. "Nothing, Mom."

She frown as soon as she saw him, then her face turned surprised. "You were crying?"

Of course she'd smell his tears. "Nothing Mama. I just hurt him and I didn't mean to." Derek felt the sting of how true those words were.

Her face softened. "It looks like he hurt you too. You have too kind of a heart, sweet cub. Sometimes we hurt things we don't mean to. That doesn't make us bad. It just makes us people. Everybody hurts things Derek. I'm sure he's fine." She pulled him into a hug and raked her fingers through his hair.

"He just- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." He crumpled farther into her.

Stiles was the first person he'd ever had any sort of connection to, and he messed it up somehow. He didn't even know if he was trustworthy, but his absence stung like he was important. Like he was a friend.

Derek had only been friends with Issac, Erica, and Boyd, and they had to leave him too. He probably hurt them too. He almost hurt his family by not being careful. Why was he so bad at this.

Maybe he was the poison.

His mother pulled back and he put on a smile.

She looked unsure. "Is something else the matter? Is there som-"

"I'm fine. Just too tired I think." He started for the stairs.

"Derek."

He looked back.

"You know there is nothing you could ever do that I wouldn't forgive you for, right?"

"I kno-"

"And perhaps you should start forgiving yourself for things that were and are out of your control. I don't know or understand what has been going on with you, but I still know you. You are good, even when you try to convince yourself you are not. You put the weight of the world on your shoulders son, if I can't convince you to put it down, will you at least share it with someone? Laura or I wou-"

"I'm fine. Truly mother. Just a bad night." He knew she wouldn't believe him, but he hoped she'd let him have his secrets.

She looked like she would fight him, but then thought better of it. "Alright. Get some sleep. I love you Derek."

"Love you too Mom."

Derek laid awake wondering how he knew if Stiles truly didn't tell the Captain.

---

"And that's where you left it?!" Scott sounded outraged.

"I'm a liability to his family, Scott."

"So what? It's true love!" He was practically shouting.

Cora walked in on the wrong moment. "Is he trying to convince ye to marry him again?"

Stiles rolled his eyes. "No. What did you need Cor?" Beside Scott, she was his closest deckhand. Throughout their years of searching they grew close. Through every false lead, every person trying to dupe them for money, they stood together never letting their faith waver. She had become family, just as Scott was. Like all of his crew.

"Me and Malia are shovin off."

"Malia and I. Okay I'll be up in a minute to send you off."

Scott went to bed with one final beseeching look.

---

The next week passed quickly and without event. His family let out a breath at their continued safety.

Derek settled back into his normal routine like he'd never left it, and soon enough he was wondering if his loneliness invented the pirate. If he was some manifested moral argument that was warring inside of him.

Just like his magic, he had left no trace. He had half a mind to ask Mr. Bramington if he remembered him.

He was back to the rush of the day and the quietness of the night. The anger was still in the back of him, but he embraced everything with an air of detachment and acceptance.

Very few things mattered to him anymore. But among those that did, were his nightly stories. Thomas had applauded him on including more humor in them lately. He didn't have it in him to explain about how it was the pirate that really brought the humor. Another thing he never cared for before was pouring a glass of whiskey, now it was one of his favorite parts of the day. Every time someone asked for rum he looked at them, just to be sure it wasn't him. One day a patron thrilled to be done with the work week threw open the doors and Derek nearly broke his neck snapping it up so fast. He smiled at a pun his father made and he had to assure them all that he had smiled like that recently, he was sure of it, maybe just not in front of them in a long time.

Derek didn't know if his life was better or worse, he just knew it was changed. The kind of change that hurts to remember before and aches to think of what ifs.

If there was an ache in his shoulders he didn't feel it. It was almost as if his magic lingered. As if it helped Derek carry the barrels, even now.

He was looking forward to resting when out of the corner of his eye he saw a blurred shadow darting in an alley. He was instantly alarmed. He hastily put down both barrels and tried to squash the part of his brain that invented the swish of a familiar brown coat. "Who goes there?"

There was silence.

A crown's guard would've announced their presence. "I saw you moving, do not make me come over there."

An unbelievably high and shrilly voice spoke, "Oh, it's just silly me. I forgot the wash on the line."

There was no way that was actually a woman's voice.

"Come out."

"I'm in my nighty you pervert."

Derek scented the air and as familiar spicy soap, rum, salt, and something unidentifiable filled his nose, happiness filled his chest. "I already know it's you. Come out here, Stiles."

That shrilly voice again. "No, it's not."

Derek listened and sure enough, he picked out a recognizable rabbiting heartbeat. He wondered when the pirate's heartbeat had become recognizable to him. He smiled and replied in a similar high tone. "Yes it is."

It must've caught him off guard because Derek heard his bubbling laugh from the dark alley.

Slowly he emerged. "I swear, I did not seek you out."

Derek had a wide smile. "I gathered that from your most convincing ruse."

He crossed his arms. "I was pressed for time okay! You snuck up on me."

"You must be horrible at stealth. I've ran into you numerous times at night now."

Stiles' smile faded. "I'm very good at stealth actually. But I should go." He had a regretful look upon his face.

"Wait." Derek wanted to reach out to grab him. To make him stay.

"I'm sorry, moonshine. I don't wan- Your family. We mustn't press fate. It's not just the captain we have to worry about, the guard patrol."

Derek felt a hot stone in his gut. "Right. Of course. Were you on a delivery?" He didn't actually want to know. He didn't want to find out how many of their customers he was stealing, but he didn't want to be without his company again so soon.

"Yes. Business is booming. I really should depart, moonshine."

"Why don't you leave?"

The pirate looked confused and hurt.

"No! I mean not here, the port. Pirates don't stay in one port for long. Why do you? Surely you risk capture?"

"I am looking for someone. It is imperative that I find them, and it is my greatest hope that I will find them here."

"So, you cannot leave?"

"Do you want me to?"

That had been what he'd been hinting towards, but now that he said it he knew it not to be so. "I think it would be best for my heart if I had to stop saying goodbye to you."

"But do you want me to?"

Derek looked away and he then realized how unfair a question he had asked. "Sorry, nevermind."

He started to walk away when his voice froze him. "I want, to be able to talk to you the entire night. Just the two of us making each other laugh like this world isn't trying to break us. God, how you manage to make me laugh." There was a pause. "That is what I truly want."

Stiles tried to find his voice. "But we cannot have what we want, can we?"

"No."

With great difficulty he continued to walk away.

He was almost to the next alley when an idea hit him. He turned and ran back to where Derek was picking up the barrels.

Derek looked at him in confusion.

"What if no one could tell it was me?"

His eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"What if I looked completely different? Could we see each other then? If no one knew it was me?"

"I suppose? But if your disguise is anything like your voice change, then I don't think it will be very good." Derek smiled.

"Shut up you jackass. I'm serious. Would that work?"

Derek considered it. "If you looked nothing like yourself? Yes, I think it would."

Stiles' eyes were wild with happiness. He rushed Derek and hugged him. Derek wanted to let the barrels go crashing to the floor so he could wrap his arms around him instead. Stiles stepped back.

"I will meet you here, same time, next week. Okay?"

Derek wanted to say no, to have the strength for it, but he couldn't. He craved to feel the way he did around Stiles constantly. "You will find me here."

---

The week could not pass fast enough and Thomas started to wonder about the stories he told. They all included a heart touching reunion or forbidden meeting of some sort and it took Derek quite a bit of effort not to die from embarrassment when he pointed it out.

He made himself wait to leave the distillery so he'd only be ten minutes early, but he found himself dashing through the streets. He waited fifteen minutes and wondered if the pirate would show. If maybe he changed his mind, if he had left. At twenty minutes he stared at the barrels wondering how long he could put off picking them up. It had been thirty minutes and he was about to leave when he heard someone approach. His heart instantly soared.

"What took you so long? Did you take a nap, you lazy bastard?"

An old man came out of the shadows. "What did you call me?" He was bent over and had a crotchety look on his face.

Derek instantly paled. "I am so sorry sir! I thought you were someone else!"

The old man's lips started to turn up till he let out a rumbustious laugh.

Derek looked confused. He wondered if maybe the man had had a bit too much drink. He took a breath in to see if he could smell the alcohol.

He did smell rum, but there was another scent that struck him.

"Stiles?!"

The man rolled his eyes and instantly Derek knew it was him.

"What is the point of all this if you just go on saying my name like that?"

Derek check to see if he could hear anyone around. He didn't. "My gods it is you! How?"

He pulled out a pendant from under his shirt. It had the faint trace of black smoke leaking from it. He held it in his palm and closed his eyes. Between one blink and the next Stiles was standing in front of him. "I do have a few tricks, moonshine."

Derek came closer and looked at the rock. "And you'll just enchant this every time we are near? Will you always look different to me?"

Stiles shook his head. "No. It is still enchanted."

Derek cocked his head. "But I see you?"

"If I want someone to see through it, I just have to hold it and focus on a strong memory of them."

Derek thought for a moment. "Like with the fire bird?"

Stiles nodded.

"Did you think of the same memory?"

"How do you mean?" He asked confused.

Derek looked nervous. "Do you still think of me angered and yelling?"

Stiles smiled sweetly. "I think of the forests in your eyes and your bunny teeth."

To divert from his rising blush Derek flashed his fangs.

Stiles laughed. "Oh, don't worry, I think of those too. Just not when I'm casting magic."

There was no hiding his blush now. "My mother warned me sailors have dirty minds."

"Did she also tell you only pirates can follow through with all they say?"

Derek looked away. "Never came up."

The pirate opened his mouth.

"Do not! Leave it alone."

He laughed. "Shame. That was such a good one."

Derek felt the smile on his face slide into place and he relaxed. "What took you so long?"

"I received a message." Dejection wafted through the air.

"Not good?" Derek tried to be sympathetic, even though Laura always told him he sucked at it.

"Not the best, but that doesn't matter now. Now I just want to talk to you."

Derek felt warmth curl itself into his belly, but not the harsh heat he was familiar with. It was nice, feeling like someone wanted his company.

They wandered aimlessly and talked all night.

************************

Okayyyy so hopefully I'll have the next part up in like a week. Thanks for reading!  

[magpiefngrl]

Book Recs Jan-Jun 2020

I’ve been reading voraciously these past six months (my Goodreads challenge says 68 books so far). Here are some memorable reads, grouped according to what you might be into.

I want queer romance please:

Brothers of the North Wild Sea by Harper Fox (m/m historical)

This book ruined me (in a good way). Or maybe it isn’t good that I’ll be carrying it inside my heart for ever and ever till the end of my days, my lip wobbling at the mere thought of it. A wonderful romance, a pairing I adored, gorgeous prose, a fascinating historical background (medieval times, north of England, Viking invasions). There’s a faint supernatural undercurrent that becomes more prominent at the very end. I sobbed through the last few pages with fear, with relief, with happiness. Highly, highly recced.

Bitter Springs by Laura Stone (m/m historical)

Every historical novel I’ve read is set in the UK, so the fact that this is a US historical book was fascinating to me. Two POC cowboys fall in love while seeking mustangs in the wilderness of Texas (?? idk where Del Rio is). It’s sweet and loving with a side-serving of jealousy when a former lover briefly appears on the scene; but mainly it’s two men getting to know each other and falling in love in the desert. I loved the horses too.

The Sins of Cities trilogy by KJ Charles. (3 books, 3 different couples, interconnected, m/m historical)

OK so the first book in the series didn’t do much for me. A pairing who loves to be domestic and sweet and to drink tea by the fire is cute... but I got bored. The second one, though... I think my eyes popped out of my head from the sheer heat of it. Justin Lazarus shot to the Top-5 of my fave characters of all time, and I’d willingly kill all of you for him, sorry that’s how it is. The trilogy is a murder mystery set in Victorian London, and unlike most romance series, you’ll need to read the books in order. Overall, this isn’t my fave series of KJC, but it was fun nonetheless, and it does have Justin in it so it’s worth a read.

Slippery Creatures by KJ Charles (m/m historical)

This one is amazing!!! This is KJC’s latest, first in a trilogy with the same pairing, which means the HEA is 2 books away (it doesn’t mean that this ends unhappy; another reader called it the WNDY ending -- We’re Not Done Yet). Boy, this is a scorcher. Set in the 1920s, it features spies, secret societies, murder, lies, kidnapping, grey characters with elastic morals: these are all catnip for me, and I inhaled this novel twice in a week. Highly recced for anyone into a gay historical romance, who loves a bit of pulp with their gay sex. The second installment is out next month.

The 13th Hex (novella) and Widdershins by Jordan L. Hawk (both m/m historical paranormal, but different universes)

I can’t say I’m enamoured by Hawk’s writing skills; in fact, I usually feel a tad let-down by the prose, mainly because the books have such potential. Hawk’s plotting is fantastic and his world-building fascinating and truly unique. I just love both of these worlds and their magic systems. Hot sex too. I don’t want to discourage people: I’m possibly just too fussy with prose. Hawk is super popular and you should give his books a shot. Widdershins is free! (In case it sways you: Hawk recently came out as a trans man.)

Unnatural by Joanna Chambers (m/m historical)

I read a few romances by Chambers lately, some less satisfying than others. This one is a standalone companion novel to her most popular series, called Enlightenment, set in Regency Britain. It’s a well-written fast read; a friends-to-lovers romance, with lots of tension and chemistry between the leads. As in all Chambers books that I’ve read so far, there’s lots of angst about one’s homosexuality (very era-appropriate) and lots of pull-and-push before it ends in a very HEA.

****

Do you have anything with fantasy and/or magic, my kind lady?

His Majesty’s Dragon by Naomi Novik (alternate history, Napoleonic wars with dragons)

Do you like dragons who talk and bond with honourable officers during times of war? Do you love soulmate bonds and sentiments such as: “I’ll do anything for you” and “You’re mine” but when it’s people, it makes you uncomfortable? Well, here former Naval officer Lawrence and his dragon Temeraire (and all dragons with their handlers) have this bond, and it’s the best thing ever. I’m in love with Temeraire, I shiver at the profound bond between Lawrence and his intelligent dragon, and I can’t wait to read the rest of the series by a beloved author (ahem).

The Dark Artifices by Cassandra Clare (YA urban fantasy)

I don’t hold the best opinion of Clare’s writing skills so I was pleasantly surprised when I read the first installment a few years back (Lady Midnight). I decided to reread it during quarantine, and then I moved on to the second one, Lord of Shadows. They’re both long novels, tightly-plotted, with several romances evolving on page.

I was excited to read the last one, A Queen of Air and Darkness, but alas! I didn’t love it. To start with, it’s 1000 pages long, and unlike books of that length that I’ve read, you feel it. The book drags. Everyone and their mother has a POV and a love story on page. There are no subplots, because they’re all Plots: all afforded equal space in the narrative, so there’s lots happening at the same time, but the story doesn’t feel like it’s moving forward with a good pace. As the end of the trilogy, Clare indulges in some of her fave elements, namely mentioning someone’s eye colour every three pages, or having every single person paired up by the end (something which bothers me a great deal). There are a few plot contrivances that ensure her main pairing conveniently gets their HEA. I confess I skimmed most of the last part of the book. I’m happy I read it and got to the end of the story, but I can’t say I was satisfied. If you’re looking for an undemanding, escapist fantasy, though, it’s the ticket: it certainly worked for me when I had quarantine brain.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amar El-Mochtar & Max Gladstone

Sci-fi, literary af, two time-travel agents from opposing Agencies bent on destroying each other, exchange letters and fall in love. I’m completely torn in half: half of the book (the prose, the imagination) left my jaw on the floor. The rest of it left me cold and indifferent. Wonderful prose, couldn’t get into the characters. Short and dense.

Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner

Queer fantasy novel that gives strong Dangerous Liaisons vibes. Written in 1987, one of the first fantasy novels to feature a society where same-sex is accepted. The writing is beautiful, the plot twisty. There’s no actual magic, but there are sword fights, courtroom drama, intrigue. Good fun if you like that kind of thing.

The Poppy War by R.F. Kuang

Adult fantasy. So far (I’m half-way through) it’s phenomenal. I’ve seen it recced everywhere and was so happy to see that Scribd offered it in my subscription. Set in a Chinese-inspired world, it features a vivid setting and memorable characters, and I’m loving it. I predict it’ll be my new fave. Do heed the content warnings (pretty much every CW you can think of applies); it’s quite dark as it progresses.

A bunch of novellas and short stories by Aliette de Bodard

This author came to my notice about a year ago. I’ve been following her on twitter ever since, but didn’t have the chance to read any of her work until I saw she had a bunch of stuff available on Scribd. I read a couple of sci-fi novellas set in a Vietnamese-inspired future; The Citadel of Weeping Pearls was my fave.

She’s also published a fantasy trilogy with fallen angels and magic set in a war-ravaged Paris, which sounds awesome. I haven’t read it, can’t afford to yet, but I did read two short stories set in that ‘verse and they were fabulous. The atmosphere, the setting, the premise, the Fallen of the Dominion universe just sounds like very much my thing. Here’s a link to some free stories they offer, if you want to check out her writing.

The Autobiography of a Traitor and a Half-Savage by Alix E. Harrow

I read a short story by Harrow several months ago and was blown away. I’ve rarely fell so fast and so deeply in love with an author. I haven’t read her debut yet, but I came across this short novella and she blew me away again. It’s a story set in the US, magical realism rather than fantasy imo, and it’s about colonialism and the land, and it’s so powerful. You can read it for free at Tor.com. Please do, it’s incredible.

******

[tabloidtoc]

Life & Style, January 18

You can now buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Uber Drivers Tell All 

Page 1: Photo Flash -- John Legend celebrated his birthday aboard a private yacht in St. Barts where he slid down the craft’s waterslide 

Page 2: Contents 

Page 4: The Top 10 Champagne Looks -- Joey King, Saoirse Ronan, Eiza Gonzalez, Gillian Anderson, Leona Lewis 

Page 5: Heidi Klum, Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian, Scarlett Johansson 

Page 6: Kelly Clarkson’s daytime talk show tied with Ellen DeGeneres’ long-running series in the year-end TV ratings battle -- The Ellen DeGeneres Show lost advertisers and A-listers and audiences after former staffers came forward with stories of a toxic workplace while The Kelly Clarkson Show which was recently renewed through 2023 has become a household staple in its sophomore season and gaining viewers in daytime’s key demographic of women and ending 2020 on a season high -- Ellen is putting on a good front but deep down she feels threatened by Kelly’s success and she’s done everything she can to prove that she’s changed but she still can’t win back her fans plus Ellen is convinced that Kelly is trying to steal her famous friends even going so far as to demand that if a celebrity agrees to appear on Ellen then they can’t go on Kelly; it’s one or the other from here on out 

Page 7: Rihanna and A$AP Rocky celebrated their first Christmas together in her native Barbados where the couple went on a sunset cruise around the Caribbean isle with her loved ones -- Christmas is a really important time for Rihanna and it’s not often that she gets to see her family and friends all at once and she wanted A$AP to be a part of it -- he was a bit nervous meeting everyone but he was worrying over nothing because they all adore him -- she’s really close with her family so it was important for him to get to know them before things begin to get serious

* Throwback -- Billie Eilish 

* Biggest Spenders of the Week -- French Montana, Sean “Diddy” Combs, Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis, Gal Gadot, Katie Holmes 

Page 8: Critics slammed Demi Moore’s new movie Songbird calling it a Michael Bay-produced travesty that exploits the coronavirus epidemic for thrills -- the film takes place in the not-so-distant future during a COVID-23 outbreak with Demi playing a wealthy woman who sells immunity bands on the black market for a hefty price -- Demi jumped at the chance to star in the movie; with its topical storyline she expected it to be a box-office hit and she’s disappointed that it’s flopped and is shocked at the backlash and she certainly never intended to hurt anyone’s feelings 

* Hilaria Baldwin proudly showed off her post-baby body posting a photo of herself holding 3-month-old son Eduardo while wearing nothing but her bra and underwear but instead of being praised for her postpartum pic she was inundated with cruel comments after Amy Schumer reported the snap seemingly roasting Hilaria for setting unrealistic standards for new moms -- while the comedian soon apologized and deleted the image it wasn’t long before she replaced it with several other shots and making fun of the controversy -- there’s a fine line between being funny and being cruel and Amy overstepped the mark in Hilaria’s eyes

Page 10: The Week in Photos -- Kacey Musgraves visits Oscar the Grouch and Sesame Street 

Page 11: Gwen Stefani on The Kelly Clarkson Show 

Page 12: Animal Instinct -- Oliver Hudson plants a smooch on a goat, Mayim Bialik with her new co-star Monty the cat from her show Call Me Kat, Padma Lakshmi cuddling on the couch with her dog Ms. Divina 

Page 13: Jerry O’Connell got a slobbery kiss from his dog Phil in L.A. 

Page 16: Stars Behaving Badly -- Selma Blair topless in a impromptu shoot off the highway in Palm Springs, Sean Lennon pretended to attack a replica of the Empire State Building during a lighting ceremony in NYC, Jameela Jamil and Jason Mantzoukas let their middle fingers fly 

Page 18: Say What?! Miley Cyrus on being single during the pandemic, Dolly Parton on her fashion and beauty credo, Kristin Chenoweth on starring in Holidate with 5-foot-2 Emma Roberts, Keke Palmer joking about her skin issues, Jason Momoa who’s been wed to Lisa Bonet since 2017 

Page 20: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez planned to tie the knot in Italy but after being forced to postpone their nuptials twice since the pandemic struck Alex has gotten a case of cold feet -- the pressure of a huge wedding was very overwhelming and in the end Alex decided it wasn’t necessary anymore -- J.Lo also hinted as much saying they’ve talked about canceling the destination wedding altogether because at their ages and they’ve both been married before should they get married or not -- the very next day Jennifer was pictured without her engagement ring sparking speculation that the couple had already reached a decision that they would no longer be walking down the aisle and Jennifer’s heartbroken because she wanted a big splashy wedding since this was going to be her fourth and final trip to the altar

Page 21: Courteney Cox was recently reunited with boyfriend Johnny McDaid after spending nine months apart due to the COVID-19 crisis but the long-awaited meetup in Ireland was far from romantic -- this was a make-or-break trip to either figure things out or go their separate ways and shortly after arriving Courteney laid all her cards on the table and she made it clear to Johnny that in order to move forward things had to change -- with her living in LA and Johnny based in Ireland the time difference is a real problem and FaceTime calls are few and far between and texts go unreturned for hours or sometimes not at all and it’s a daily struggle and Courteney’s at the end of her rope 

Page 22: Cover Story -- Uber drivers tell all -- the scoop on celebrities’ best and worst moments as rideshare passengers -- Brooke Shields’ boozy cruise, Tom Selleck requires a quiet car 

Page 23: Justin Bieber threw a party on wheels, blind items

Page 24: George Clooney uses a pseudonym, Kylie Jenner was 2 hours late for her ride

Page 25: Cash-carrying Prince Harry is a huge tipper, Tom Cruise is not a cool customer, Jennifer Lawrence makes the back seat her bed 

Page 26: Lori Loughlin breaks her silence -- after completing a two-month prison sentence for her role in the infamous college admissions cheating scandal Lori emerges to find her life and family in pieces -- Lori wants to move forward as a family in a positive direction but her daughters have so many walls up now

Page 28: The Bachelorette’s Clare Crawley and Tayshia Adams: Two dream weddings -- with a wild ride of a season behind them leading ladies Clare and Tayshia are happily planning their respective nuptials 

Page 30: The truth about Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson’s engagement -- Khloe’s new ring from Tristan sparks wedding speculation -- Tristan swears he’ll never ever stray again and Khloe is desperate to make their relationship work because she loves the little family they’ve created 

Page 32: Who Lives Here? Kathy Griffin 

Page 36: Fashion -- shop these haute hues -- Pantone’s 2021 Colors of the Year are Ultimate Grey and Illuminating Yellow, making them musts for every fashionista’s wardrobe 

Page 40: Diva or Down-to-Earth? John Legend grabs groceries -- down-to-earth, Heather Locklear pumps her own gas -- down-to-earth

Page 41: Gal Gadot assembles a glam squad -- diva, Zac Efron cuts his friend’s hair -- down-to-earth 

Page 42: Social Stars Posts of the Week -- Angela Kinsey and her dogs, Kim Kardashian and longtime pal La La Anthony, Laura Prepon building a snowman, Kevin Jonas and wife Danielle 

Page 44: Horoscope -- Capricorn Zooey Deschanel turned 41 on January 17

* They’re Not Together, But They Should Be -- Aries Jennifer Garner and Aquarius Justin Hartley 

Page 46: Made Ya Look! Emily Blunt strikes a stylish pose 

Page 48: What I’m Into -- Jonathan Van Ness  

[wolfflock]

Please, Keep Love Hole (ch20/21)

What can one lonely nerdy teacher do when he just loves sucking cock? The lone bathroom stall in a gay bar seems like the perfect place for him.

What can one hyper college student with a sports scholarship do when his friends are jerks? The lone bathroom stall in a gay bar seems like the perfect place for him, too.

Chapter summary: Some light fluff before the last (smutty) chapter. I just felt the boys deserve nice things so here it is.

XXX

Over summer, things take on a new form of normal: Stiles works in the coffee shop five times a week, then goes for a run after each shift. Derek gives summer courses for high school students, tutors college students and runs a book club for little kids (which Stiles totally thinks is adorable as hell). All in all, it’s probably the best it has been in quite a while for Stiles. He is content with his routine, with being able to focus on his well-being, and all this provides enough time for the two of them to explore their relationship.

After they are done with work, they usually meet at the park to enjoy the sun and to just talk. Derek seems to be inclined to take things slow, and Stiles is totally fine with this. It might have been a surprising challenge to just slow down and not rush things, because honestly, that’s not what he was used to, but then again, he argued, Derek wasn’t a college student looking for a quick summer fling, so Stiles tried to match his pace. Taking it slow meant it’s been two weeks and he still hasn’t been to Derek’s place, and if anyone thought (Stiles included) that Derek would be willing to go over to Stiles’ dorm room, well, yeah, no, I’m a bit too old for that, Stiles. So, it was usually neutral ground, with plenty of people around, keeping things certainly PG. As far as Stiles is concerned, though, it is all good, great even, and it is no one’s business that most of the time after he walks Derek home and kisses him goodnight, he most definitely doesn’t even try to keep things PG while taking a cold shower to calm himself down. He is a healthy (and finally, he feels like he is) nineteen-year-old.

His friends seem to be relieved that he is doing better, which makes him appreciate them even more. He has caught Scott looking at him with a fond smile on his lips when he thinks no one is watching; and Danny is back to being more tactile with him, bumping into his shoulders, slapping him across the back, and just not treating him anymore like he might break by the slightest breeze. Jackson is still an ass but in an affectionate way, always ready to snarl at anyone who looks at Stiles the wrong way. Which happens, sometimes. People whisper when he walks by, gossiping about the popular (dumb) jock who couldn’t handle his drink and the smoking hot Prof Hale had to save his ass.

It’s a mixture of shadenfreude and envy, he knows, but it still hurts. He can only imagine what would happen if people actually knew about him and Derek. They never wanted to keep it a secret, which Stiles is really delighted about, because sexy Professor Hale doesn’t want to keep him a dirty secret! But they try to be as professional as they can be, so they usually don’t go to places where a lot of Derek’s students would be. It’s easier now that it’s summer and they don’t have to be on campus, and the town is sometimes like a ghost town because a lot of people have left.

To be with Derek over summer, Stiles decides against going home. When he tells his dad, he sounds pleased that Stiles is at a good place and tells him not to worry about him. He can visit his hometown whenever he wants to, but he should enjoy his summer with his new special friend. That comment makes Stiles groan and bang his head against his desk.

Scott, though, is planning on going home for the summer, so they decide to celebrate his last night there. It takes a lot of back and forth between Stiles, Danny and Jackson to decide what they want to surprise Scott with.

“We should go to that new arcade like place that opened by the swimming pool,” Stiles, resident nerd, says.

Jackson’s eye roll is so exaggerated that Stiles is surprised he didn’t sprain something.

“…or not, okay. What do you suggest then?”

“How about some cocktails and pool in MacTavish’s? I’ve heard that’s a hot spot for summer schoolers” Jackson supplies which earns him two sets of very judgmental eyes.

“Dude, they aren’t even allowed to drink,” Stiles replies.

“Neither are you, Stilinski,” Danny interjects, and Stiles can’t fault his logic there.

“Yeah, I’ll leave the fresh-out-of-highschoolers for you, Jackson,” Stiles shoves at Jackson, who just shakes his head. “I like my partners with some experience,” he smirks, and the other two just groan and ‘eww’ at him. They know about Derek, of course, and it provides endless source for them to tease Stiles about.

“Oh! Talking about experience,” Danny exclaims, “you remember that gay bar with the glory hole?”

Stiles has very vivid yet rather blurry memories of that place and the glorious head he received there. The thoughts make him blush and he wishes really hard that Derek would just not leave him with a serious case of blue balls every time they part ways because then maybe (big maybe) he wouldn’t be turned on by just the memory of a blowjob.

“Yeah,” Jackson confirms.

“Well… umm…” Danny fixes the collar of his shirt, “my sources say the guy hasn’t been there for a few weeks now.”

“Your ‘sources’, eh?” Jackson cackles and mimes a blowjob to Danny, who turns even redder and awkwardly smiles.

“Yeah, his regulars miss him,” he admits sheepishly, and that has both Jackson and Stiles break out into hysterical laughter.

In the end, they go to a pizza place for dinner, then to a 90s themed party. Scott seems happy with their choice and they all have a great time.

At the beginning of August, Stiles is having breakfast with Derek at their favorite pastry shop, when Derek looks at him, hesitant, unsure, and it makes Stiles’ heart painfully clench. He is both apprehensive and excited by that look. He reaches out and runs his hand down Derek’s (broad, muscular, very impressive - hey! mind out of the gutter!) back, which seems to relax him a bit.

“It’s Zoe’s birthday next weekend,” he says after a while and Stiles is just staring at him.

“Mhm,” he supplies eventually, when Derek seems satisfied with saying this much.

“I would like for you to come with me,” Derek says, hand reaching out to touch Stiles’. It takes Stiles a second to realize that Derek is actually asking him to meet his sister, not his niece. His sister, Laura, the only family he has.

Stiles swallows his apple strudel and fighting down questions like what am I going to do with a bunch of little kids around, I am not good with kids, he smiles at Derek.

“That sounds great. What is the plan?” he asks and is shocked by Derek’s beautiful smile. That smile alone is worth putting up with kids for a morning.

He only freaks out a little when Derek tells him that it is tradition in their family to cook and bake together with the birthday girl or boy, and then to play boardgames. The bigger freaking out comes when he realizes that he is a terrible cook and that he has never had to spend a whole day with a child around, let alone several.

“I can’t do this. I am nineteen! How am I expected to be able to handle this? Scott, heeeeelp!” He knows he is like a petulant child – maybe he should join the partying kids instead of cooking with the adults – but Scott is just laughing at him.

“Dude, louder, please, my speakers aren’t screeching just yet,” Scott laughs at him, but there is an affectionate and understanding look in his eyes, even through the pixelated image of his laptop.

“Sorry. But seriously, buddy, I am so not mature enough for this. I mean, I know that Derek is 26 and I should have expected, like, adult things, but not this fast, you know? Also, it’s not only that there will be kids, but his sister, who he hasn’t talked to for years. What if I fuck that up? What if I do something stupid and ruin their newfound bond?”

“Stiles. Trust me, you won’t. Derek likes you,” Scott says in a serious tone, the one that belies his youthful features and makes him sound really wise. “He believes it will be okay, otherwise he wouldn’t have asked you to go. Besides, he wants you to meet them. That’s a big thing.”

“I know,” Stiles groans. “I just don’t want to fuck this up, too. I have made quite a lot of mistakes lately, but this is something that I want to do well,” he confesses, although he suspects Scott knows all this, maybe knew it even before he himself did.

“And you won’t. Just be yourself, be nice to them and if you’re unsure about something, be honest with Derek.”

“Dude, when did you become so wise?”

Scott laughs, and looks at the camera. “I miss you, buddy.”

“Yeah, I miss you, too.” There’s a beat before Stiles continues. “Thank you. Honestly, dude, thank you for always being there for me. You’re the best.”

“Aww, dude, stop, you’re going to make me cry here,” Scott sniffles and waves at Stiles. “Now go and get something for the birthday girl.”

Stiles says goodbye, promises to call soon, and leaves his dorm to meet Derek and buy a present together.

They brainstorm over coffee and Stiles talks excitedly about games that are probably not even age appropriate for Zoe, but he likes the sound of them. Stiles is too excited to notice the adoration in Derek’s eyes as he watches Stiles gesticulate wildly, showing images on his phone to Derek, describing toys and games. In the end, they go with wooden blocks and a picture book – neither of which are princessy because Stiles is a firm believer of gender-neutral toys. Derek believes him and lets him call the shots. Stiles thanks him by giving him a long, slow kiss in the car that leaves Stiles’ insides tingling. Derek just looks dazed when he pulls back, and a small smile spreads across his face.

---

On the day of the birthday party, Stiles has to get up rather early which makes him grumpy. He stumbles to his kettle to make some tea – he decides that should be enough caffeine, he doesn’t want to end up too pumped lest he makes an ass of himself. After a quick shower, he picks up a dark blue and read plaid shirt and khaki pants, fixes his hair and heads downstairs. Derek is already waiting for him in the parking lot, eyes looking tired but glinting as he sees Stiles.

The drive to Laura’s is a peaceful one, they listen to some music, holding hands. Stiles’ palm is slowly getting clammier and clammier, but Derek doesn’t say anything, he just rubs circles into it.

Derek kills the engine in front of a lovely two-story building, and as they step out of the car, Stiles can already hear rowdy children running around in the backyard. He walks to Derek, takes a deep, steadying breath and nods at him. Derek wraps his arms around him in a tight hug and Stiles melts into it. With a soft kiss to his temple, they straighten and head to the door, hand in hand.

Stiles isn’t sure what he expected to see when the door opens, but he is greeted with… well, Derek if Derek was a few years older and a woman. Same dark hair, although Laura’s seems naturally wavy, expressive but sculpted eyebrows and the same twinkling eyes, which are just a shade or two closer to blue than Derek’s.

“Derek!” she exclaims and pulls her brother in a bear hug. “I’m so glad you could make it. And you must be Stiles,” she looks over at Stiles, who is standing there awkwardly, feeling like someone poured a bucket of water down his back, the fabric of his shirt sticking to his back. “I’ve heard so much about you,” she continues which makes Stiles quirk an eyebrow at Derek.

Derek just laughs a little and answers with his own expressive eyebrows that say “What? I do talk about you to my family” and that soothes Stiles’ nerves some.

“Hi Laura. It’s really nice to finally meet you,” Stiles extends his hand, but Laura wraps him up in another big hug. Seems like the Hales are huggers, which Stiles is more than okay with. He misses his dad’s hugs and this reminds him of home.

“Come on in, we are just getting ready to start cooking. Zoe is already helping her dad measuring out flour to make cookies.”

She leads them to the kitchen where a little army of kids are standing on kiddie steps to be able to reach the countertops and help their moms or dads.

Stiles is introduced to everyone as Derek’s partner, which makes him both embarrassed (they never said it out loud, he always just assumed they were there) and extremely proud. Laura’s husband, Zach gives him a knife and he’s tasked with peeling potatoes while Derek is chopping carrots. The kids are loud and messy, but Stiles wouldn’t trade this for anything. The adults are making jokes, the kids are signing and competing, trying to make the most impressive cookie shapes (there are dinosaurs, witches, sharks and dogs, too).

While the food is getting ready, Laura comes over to them to chat. She hands both Derek and Stiles a coke each, which makes Stiles what Derek has told her, but he decides he doesn’t mind if Derek told her about his previous alcohol problem. Derek is looking out for him and he appreciates it. Laura herself is drinking some juice, too.

“So Stiles. Tell me how you two met.”

Stiles almost chokes on his drink but composes himself quickly to reply “In school. Derek was my lecturer.”

Which is true, but not even half of the truth. Derek and Laura share some intense eyebrow-conversation that Stiles can’t even begin to understand, but he feels like this was a test.

“He isn’t anymore, by the way,” he clarifies.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Laura smiles at him, but it is a knowing smile. She looks to Derek then and ruffles his hair. Derek pulls a face, but Stiles can see nothing but love in his eyes.

The rest of the day is spent with a delicious lunch, board games and a lot of laughing. Surprisingly, Stiles bonds with Zoe quite easily over dinosaurs and cookies, and Derek just watches them, leaning against Laura, whispering into each other’s ears.

Stiles’ heart is light in his chest, fluttering excitedly when he sees Derek this happy and relaxed.

“I’m glad we went. I really needed this,” he whispers as he closes the distance to kiss Derek when he drops Stiles off that night at the dorm.

[justalittlebluetiefling]

What is critical role I’ve never heard of it until your blog

Oh anon, I know you don’t know this yet, but this is one of my favorite questions! Critical Role, in the words of Matthew Mercer, is a show where a bunch of nerdy ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons. 

Now, in the words of me, Critical Role is on (almost) every Thursday at 7pm PST. The show lasts three to four hours and is just… literally the best storytelling? Ever? Which is quite a feat, since it’s 7 - 8 people improving the story together. We’ve got: Matthew Mercer (the DM), Marisha Ray, Laura Bailey, Travis Willingham, Taliesin Jaffe, Sam Riegel, Liam O’Brien, and when Blindspot isn’t filming, Ashley Johnson. If you’ve played video games or watched anime or anything cartoony in the last 20 years, you’ve definitely heard at least one of them in something. Probably multiple of them in the same project. These nerdy ass voice actors are a real-life found family and I get really emotional over this on a regular basis.

Their first campaign, the story of Vox Machina, starts halfway through their story and ended up being 115 episodes long. They had already been playing together for a few years when they started streaming on Twitch. It’s so easy to fall in love with every single character. Even the NPCs voiced by Matt instead of the players. There are ships to ship and stories to love and cry over. I’m actually watching the Vox Machina campaign for the third time, because I miss them so much. I ended up getting into the show right after they ended their first campaign and literally spent all of my free time watching the episodes. By the time I was done, I was an emotional wreck and I had a hard time convincing myself to start the second campaign. All new characters?! And an all new setting?! How was I supposed to put up with that nonsense when I was still grieving?! But I did it and I fell in love with them way faster than I expected.

Their second campaign is the one they’re currently playing. It’s a bit different, because it follows the adventures of the Mighty Nein from the very beginning. Gone are the in-game found family dynamics. It’s a lot of awkward struggling to form alliances and tentative friendships and watching them grow to care for each other. Again, there are ships to ship and characters to love and the storytelling and worldbuilding by Matt Mercer is just off the charts phenomenal. Episode 71 just aired last Thursday and I’m going to try to FINALLY watch it when I get home tonight.

So, this show is a time commitment. But it’s so worth it. And you get consistent content all year round. The longest hiatus you ever have to deal with is about 3 to 4 weeks around the holidays, so that those lovely human beings can spend time with their families. OH. And speaking of those lovely humans. They really are wonderful. They have taken this game that they used to play with their friends and turned it into something huge. And they’re trying to use that success to help make the world a better place. They’re constantly involved in charities and promoting smaller projects on their individual Twitters. I think it’s a show worth getting into not only for the story, but for the people behind the story.

If you DO decide to give it a shot, let me know! You don’t need to know anything about D&D to enjoy the show. And if you do know anything about D&D, then you need to remember that Matt is the DM and it’s his world and he’s allowed to homebrew rules. Oh dang, and he homebrews some of the CREEPIEST MONSTERS. I hate it. There are a lot of easy ways to get caught up fast and I’ve actually become closer with a few people in The 100 fandom by bonding over Critical Role as well.

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of Marvel: Week of November 13th, 2019

Best of this Week: Fallen Angels #1 - Bryan Hill, Szymon Kudranski, Frank D’Armata and Joe Sabino

She is a butterfly.

Kwannon had been living in silent darkness for almost thirty years, trapped inside of her mind  while Betsy Braddock occupied her body (Uncanny X-Men #256, 1989). That changed in Hunt for Wolverine: Mystery in Madripoor #4 (2018) when Betsy psychically reconstructed her original body, allowing Kwannon to reclaim hers and make sporadic appearances in Matthew Rosenberg’s Uncanny X-Men (2018/2019), mostly serving as Wolverine’s back-up. Of course, things have changed significantly since then and now.

This book opens with a young girl standing on a train while Kwannon narrates in the background. It’s mostly vague as Kwannon refers to a mysterious “she” that she hoped was happy and free during the time that she was locked in her own body. The little girl puts on some sort of tech apparatus on her head which, upon activation, causes her eyes to turn blck as she begins to tear through the pedestrians on the train. It’s savage as she rips a handrail out of place and starts beating people with it. Eventually, she makes it to the train operator’s room, knocks him out and derails the train. Presumably everyone is killed in the horrific accident and the only word on her lips before it happens: Apoth.

Kwannon, now choosing to go by Psylocke as she sees her former name as a shackle to a horrible life of torment and pain, is meditating and enjoying the peace of Krakoa. The first panels are set up very well with many close up shots to Psylocke basking in nature, even pricking her finger and bleeding on a flower to show that blood can even bring new life as it blooms. Frank D’Armata makes excellent use of color as the flower and a butterfly appear purple, Psylocke’s signature color. It’s beautiful, especially as we get to a beautiful shot of Psylocke, in peace, floating as purple butterflies swarm around her.

That peace is soon interrupted as she’s bombarded with a psychic attack by an unknown entity telling her that she has to kill a God, she has to kill Apoth. After the vision, she goes to visit Magneto, still “mourning” the death of Charles Xavier (X-Force #1, 2019). She tells him what she saw and requests to leave Krakoa to investigate. Initially, he denies her request, citing the most recent attack that left Xavier dead as the reason no one is able to leave the island. She responds in fury, trying to assure him that what she saw wasn’t just a dream. 

These pages are strange as they also utilize a bunch of close-ups, focusing on their mouths. It gives the conversation a close and shadowy feel as they’re also shrouded in heavy inks. Magneto urges her to see Mister Sinister, saying that he might find her visions interesting. When she questions him about this, he explains that his grief over Xavier’s death makes him forget conversations (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). She then goes to visit the Evil Eccentric, who also doesn’t seem interested until Psylocke talks about her experience being trapped, showing her ferocity when he asks her how she’d kill Betsy if she could. Satisfied with her answer, he helps her out and asks that she gathers a team.

We then cut to X-23 and Kid Cable (I will never refer to him as just Cable) as they stand around one of the many fires made in celebration of peace and safety. Kid Cable sees Laura not enjoying her time and asks her how she likes to dance, then they have a small fight that Laura wins. She comments that she doesn’t feel anything because everything on Krakoa is safe and “safety sucks.” I like this characterization of Laura so much better than what she had been doing with her plucky, child sidekick, Gabby. It reminds me of both her time in X-Force and the beginning of All New, All Different Marvel when she was ultra violent and reckless. Psylocke tries to recruit the both of them, but Laura convinces her that Kid Cable deserves the peace that Krakoa provides and the two leave the island together.

The pair travel to Tokyo and meet a former contact of Kwannon’s. She informs them of a new designer drug created by Apoth called Overclock that seems to affect people's mind states, causing them to murder others while the drug is killing them as they get super high. As Psylocke and X-23 watch the video of the train accident, Psylocke has a flashback to her days as a Hand assassin and we earn that she had a daughter that was taken from her. Her daughter was given a tattoo of a butterfly, same as the girl in the train derailment. Whether or not this is her daughter is unknown to us, but it is a possibility. 

The video sends Psylocke into a rage and she demands answers, grabbing the woman and threatening her with mind scrambling via psyblade. When the woman refuses and says that Apoth will kill her, Psylocke plunges her psychic dagger into her mind as Laura takes out her guards. The best things about these pages are that they’re all coated in a tint of purple, alluding to the fact that this somehow all ties back to Psylocke/Kwannon somehow. There are threads here that only she can follow because of her ruthlessness and it all feels so very personal.

Psylocke rips the information from her contact’s mind and travels to the location that she found. There, she encounters a shack full of children under the influence of Overclock and Apoth has taken one of them to speak through. The rest of the children die while he warns Psylocke and X-23 to return to the safety and seclusion of Krakoa while he evolves the world. Apoth seems like an interesting villain as he mentions how hard it is to kill children and yet does it anyway. He claims that what he’s doing is evolving humanity and the person who gave Psylocke the vision referred to him as a new God. What is his power and how is he able to control people’s bodies and create such a deadly and advanced drug?

If I were to have any complaints, it would have to be that sometimes the inks are so dark and prevalent that they can start to feel overbearing. There are a lot of good colors used and D’Armata’s signature style is there, they can sometimes feel drowned out by Kudranski’s inks. When they work together, they produce amazing panels, but when they don’t, they produce odd looking shapes and poses. One in particular after Laura is given the knowledge about Psylocke’s daughter and then she’s hunched over like Quasimodo, that’s more so for Kudranski’s posing, but that darkness doesn’t help.

This first issue of Fallen Angels was very interesting to say the very least. I love the idea of getting to know a new and reformed Kwannon as Psylocke given she hasn’t been a character of her own since the 80s and that small time she was resurrected in the mid-2000s. She seems focused and yet still maintains the deadly edge that served her so well as an assassin. I also like that she doesn’t want to be reminded of her time in the darkness, even dismissing Betsy when she presumably wants to talk about everything between them. I don’t know if its anger or contentment with her new life that lets her walk away from Betsy, but it kinda feels liberating in a way.

I’m actually very excited to see where things go from here, so far I love Psylocke's new direction as she seems to be slowly turning into a teacher for people like X-23 and Kid Cable. Throughout the book there had been flashbacks showing Psylocke's past and the abuse she went through to become one of the Hands deadliest assassins, so it's very likely she'll be similar but better to those two. She will turn them into butterflies. The most perfect versions of themselves.

[thewalkingdead-imagines]

TWD ~ Negan Imagine - “Who Are You Now”

Summary: While Alexandria’s newbies start a debate within the community, Judith’s talk with Negan and another unexpected encounter let the reader ask herself what would happen if a tiny version of both of them was on the way.

the last part / all other previous parts (None of the previous parts have to be read to understand the plot!)

Warm lips brushed along your neck, peppering your skin with small kisses and soft nibbles as strong arms pulled you closer into a comforting warmth. Years had passed, around six to be more certain, and still his touch let the same warmth run through your body as at the beginning, stronger even. You still craved for it, enjoying every second of his closeness whenever you could have it, hear the deep voice of his, take his comforting scent in and feel his warmth. Over all this time, some things had changed and some others had stayed the very same. He was still in the cell, hadn’t left the cellar in all these years and you were still laying on a cheap mattress in the corner of the room. After things had calmed down in Alexandria after Rick’s death, you had given it a few careful tries to talk to Michonne, tried to get her to at least let him out for a couple or even just an hour a week to work outside and see something else than those gray walls. But your tries had been unsuccessful. So you changed your tactics and this time, it actually worked. When Negan couldn’t get out, you were gonna get him more things inside. Michonne gave eventually in, realizing that you were right, realizing what would happen if Negan, in the fragile mental state he had been in, wouldn’t get any distraction. So you began to add things to the few books and magazines you had fought hard for in the first and a half year to get inside. First more magazines and books from the shelves you had access too, trying to grasp the ones that could spark Negan’s interest the most. Then a carpet for the cold stone in front of his bed and some other decoration, since you figured it would make it a little easier if this empty cell looked at least a little more homey. After that you found a baseball glove and a ball on a run, as well as a tiny baseball bat figure which you hoped would make a tiny bit up for the absent Lucille, that you had never been able to find all this time. Not outside, not inside the walls even though your feeling still told you that the latter was the case, somewhere in a room of Michonne’s where you couldn’t get to without being caught. There had been more things you added over time but the latest wasn’t even something you had brought him. It was a  small wooden animal figure with big cute eyes Judith had brought to him to thank him for helping her with her homework whenever she sat down on the stairs outside next to the cell’s door and asked him for help. Hell, she was all grown up now, not the cute little toddler anymore but instead an almost ten year old who was stepping into her brother’s footsteps. Not just character wise, she was also stepping into the role of the older sibling. It hadn’t taken long after Rick’s death for Michonne to find out that she was pregnant, and which had then been a bittersweet surprise was now a little boy named RJ who was as much of a little fighter as his parents. Next to those happy moments, there had been incidents on the way until now that had changed Michonne even more than Rick’s death already had, letting her grow colder in some ways, especially about newbies and they way things were run in Alexandria that had kept flourishing over time. Negan’s lips planted another kiss to your shoulder as he pulled you closer in, letting your back press tighter against his warm chest before his nose nuzzled into your neck, breathing with a hum contently out as memories of the last surprising day rushed into your mind. “Still need to tell you something”, you mumbled, your voice still a little drowsy as he rose his head from the curve of our neck and raised his dark eyebrows and grinned sleepily at you. “Couldn’t tell you last night ‘cause someone stopped me before I could get even started”, you teased with a chuckle, remembering his rather stormy welcome last night. “Oh you never complained about that before”, he grumbled with a low laugh, squeezing your waist playfully as he pressed another kiss to your skin, the grin all over his lips clearly palpable. “I’m not complaining, just saying”, you mumbled back as he raised his head from your shoulder and allowed you to shift on your back, cuddling a little more into his warmth . “Now, Baby, what are those news?”, he rasped as his hazel eyes wandered over your face, a fair share of curiosity in his voice as a grin began to spread over his face. “There are newbies”, you said, watching the surprise spreading over his features as you leaned into his warmth, “Judith brought them in when she was outside with some others, said she wouldn’t move until she was allowed to get them home.” A laugh rumbled through Negan’s chest as a wider grin spread over his lips, letting his hand leave your waist to run his palm over his beard stubble before he shrugged his shoulders slightly. “Well shit, that sounds damn much like her”, Negan chuckled throatily and looked with his still sleepy eyes at you. “Yeah it does, guess she’s pretty much the only reason Michonne hasn’t kicked them out yet...”, you said,  feeling how his fingers traced over your skin until his arm wrapped a little tighter around your body. “Mhmm...how many are they?” “Five, four women and one guy...one of them’s hurt, got her shortly before shift end into the infirmary”, you answered, shifting your head a little on his arm while you could see his hazel eyes capturing yours once more. “And what now? They stay, or what?” “Don’t know...they’re gonna be put before the council so we’ll see...even though I’m not sure if Michonne just agreed to appease Judith for now”, you mumbled as he rolled on his back, pulling you with him as he let you lean into his side. An approving hum left Negan’s lips in response to your words while he slowly nodded as he reached out to your leg to hook it over his hip, allowing you to huddle a little closer up. “Got a tendency?”, he asked, raising his dark brows as his head shifted a little into the pillows and his hand began to slowly trace up and down your spine, letting you smile softly as you shook your head. “Nah, not yet...but the one in the infirmary seemed alright till now, quiet and a little grumpy but alright”, you mumbled, your glance following your fingertips that ran over his chest, toying softly with the dark hair that peppered it before Negan sighed quietly. “Seemed”, he grumbled as your glance met his again, a more serious but also a bit concerned expression laying on his handsome features as you slowly began to nod. “Yeah, I know...still, if we’re putting them in front of the council while already damning them to be bad that whole thing is worth shit so...we better give them a chance to talk to us”, you mumbled, seeing him beginning to slowly nod before he glanced at you. “Still, take care”, he mumbled, not commanding but rather loving as he pulled you a little closer. “I will”, you responded, shifting a little to place your head on his slowly rising and falling chest, pressing a soft kiss to his warm skin that quickly elicited a content growl to fall from his lips. You hummed softly as you closed your eyes for another moment, enjoying the caresses of his hand along your back up to your shoulders and neck until his deep voice rumbled through his broad chest. “You still got that little bag with the rest of the bracelet, right?”, Negan mumbled, eliciting memories of his gift that broke years ago and which you were carrying just as long around with you, still broken and with no real hope that you could fix it. “Yeah, why?”, you mumbled, shifting to raise your head a little and glance at him. “Thought I could try to repair it, got enough time on my hands here so I might as well give it a shot”, he mumbled, running his palm over his salt and pepper stubble as he gave you a small smirk. “Like with the other stuff?”, you teased, nodding to a small box in his nightstand that contained besides a ring with missing diamonds, a tiny but broken musical box, other things you had found on runs which Negan had begun to give them a shot to repair them until he lost his patience, grumbled about how much better he had once been at fixing cars, cursed the living hell out of the items just to try his luck on the next one where the whole circle repeated itself. “Nah, this one’s different and you know it, won’t stop till I got it fixed”, he grumbled with a chuckle before he raised his dark brows, “So, where is it?” “Still got it in the side pocket of my jacket”, you said, nodding towards the jacket beside the bed which still laid there since the very moment he had almost torn it off of you in the last night. Grumbling he shifted a little, stretching to let his long fingers reach into the pocket before he could fish the tiny plastic bag out. “Shit”, he groaned slightly as he stretched shifting back into the bed, holding it with a wider smirk up as he rolled the tiny diamonds within the bag between his fingertips ,”There ya go...gonna make it all nice for you again.” “Great”, you chuckled before leaning in to nuzzle your nose into his beard stubble and kiss him softly,“Thank you.” “Any damn time”, he mumbled, turning his head slightly so his lips could meet yours in a deep kiss before the shrill sound of the alarm clock on his nightstand made you flinch away from him. “Shit...counsil’s calling”

The church was packed full with residents, from blood young to old, watching the four unscathed members of the five member group standing in front of the large and heavy wooden tables. Differently to the most you were sitting behind the table along with a couple of others, including Siddiq, Michonne, Gabriel, Aaron and Laura, the blonde woman who had once been one of Negan’s lieutenants. You had earned your place there behind the table in those years after Rick’s death, slowly leaving the suspicion the most had because of your lasting relationship with Negan behind even though a small rest remained and you knew that the probability was high that it would stay this way. Still, you were glad about this position even though the decision that literally stood before you right now was more than tricky. They did seem like alright people, as fine as they could be with as much time as they had spent outside. At least that’s what it looked like as they answered each and every question Gabriel gave them, talked about their group that had once been larger, told you what they had been before the world went to shit. Magna, the woman with voluminous curly blonde hair with the dark roots and tattoos that covered her body, had been a truck stop waitress. Conny, the deaf woman with the tight dark curls, had been a journalist who had exposed a bunch of politicians. Kelly, the youngest of them, translated Conny’s sign language and said that she had been a high school student who the world had gone south and Luke, the corpulent man with the dark hair and a fuzzy beard had been a music teacher. You could tell that they had changed, not just based on the way they answered to the question who they were now, after all this time of being outside, after all this time of living among the dead. “Thank you. If that's everything, I'd like to motion for a vote”, Gabriel eventually said as you watched the four of them shifting from feet to feet in front of you before Michonne’s sudden harsh tone made them stand still. “I have a question.” “The chair recognizes our fellow councilperson and head of security”, Gabriel said as his words turned this whole thing way more formal than it actually was. God, you were sitting in a half build up church that was stock up with all kinds of different chairs and tables from god knows where, not some fancy and slick room in an imposing building. Michonne’s chair scrapped over the wooden ground as she lifted herself up and slowly walked along the tables until she stood before Magna, eliciting a cold stare in both of the women’s eyes. “As a community, we want to be kind. We want to be generous. We want to be charitable. But, as we know, decisions like the one we are about to make can come with a heavy price. Can you show me your left hand?”, Michonne grumbled, her hand stemmed into her side, almost as if it would cover the x-shaped scar on the lower left side of her back that remained there for some years. “Michonne, what are you doing?”, Aaron asked, eyeing her with puckered brows as Michonne turned back to the blonde woman and glared into the dark brown eyes on her opposite, before grabbing her hand and forcefully puling the fingerless glove from her left hand. ”You get that at a truck stop?”, Michonne snapped as she glared from Magna’s hand up to her face that began to wrinkle in anger. “Screw you”, she growled, staring back into Michonne’s eyes as you tried to get a look at the hand and whatever had been covered underneath the glove. “What is it?”, Aaron spoke out what you were thinking as Michonne turned a little to him, then nodded back to the woman in front of her. “You wanna tell him?” “Michonne, if you have something to say-” “It's a prison tattoo”, Michonne hissed, raising Magna’s hand once more as you finally caught the small tattoo on her hand’s back that now elicited gasps and murmurs from the people in the church, almost in the way you had been used to see it in movies, when the lawyer revealed the shocking truth about the offender of his client. “The four dots are the walls. The one in the middle is you, the prisoner. Hard time.”, Michonne hissed with a dangerous calmness as Magna’s frown hardened as you watched the scene while Aaron spoke up once more. “Look, just because she was a prisoner-” “I can explain”, Magna cut him off this time, guiding not only yours but seemingly the whole church’s attention back to her, including Michonne’s. “Oh, you wanna tell the truth?” “Yes.” “And you have nothing to hide?” “Nothing”, Magna hissed once more before you watched Michonne’s brows pucker even more dangerously as each muscle in her body seemed to tense and your glance fell on Judith in the back of the church for a moment, watching the scene half hopefully, half worriedly. “Put the knife on the table”, Michonne snapped, letting you flinch slightly by the message and sharpness of her voice as you ran over Magna, no chance of finding a knife no matter how hard you looked. The murmuring within the people grew louder as Magna began to buckle up her belt, suddenly grabbing it to reveal a spiky backside as she shoved it harshly onto the table. “I remember, and I know that you do, too. So go ahead. Take your vote. I second the motion”, Michonne growled, wrinkling her nose almost in disgust before she turned on her heels and began to walk straight out of the church. “Hey! Can I ask you a question?”, Magna’s voice echoed through the high room by the time Michonne reached the entrance before her voice sounded even harsher than before through the air. “No.”

It didn’t even take twenty minutes for you to find yourself back in the infirmary after the scene in the church, the vote had been delayed due to Michonne’s departure that gave everyone, including all council members, the feeling that any discussion about them was useless, any vote wouldn’t matter as long as Michonne had the upper hand. Still, you kept thinking about them and the knives, even though you weren’t as mad as Michonne about them. Sure, things had happened in those last years that didn't make it seem like the smartest thing to let these people stay, on the other hand, you all hadn’t been better when you had come into a community after surviving outside. You could still vividly remember how you hid guns and machetes along with Rick and Michonne before going into Terminus, how you all took either a small knife or something other with you and hid it on your bodies just to be sure to not be completely unweaponed in case things would turn south. In Alexandria, you hadn’t hid anything, considering your urge and wish to finally being able to stay but Rick had, and you weren’t talking about knives, he had hid a bunch of guns even after living inside the walls for some time. Those guns could have caused many deaths in the wrong hands, knives on the other hand, what should they do in a community like Alexandria except for selfdefense? If any of them would just dare to cut or even attempt to stab anyone, they’d have guns to their heads in the matter of seconds. You didn’t trust them, of course not, but you could see why they did the things they did, hell, you could even see your original group in them. You wouldn’t directly let them run free in the walls if it was up to you, definitely not, but you wouldn’t kick them out without a second thought either. It was a hard decision to make, but keeping them under close watch for some time and then decide would probably be the thing most Alexandrians including you would suggest, especially because they were as much of a resource as anyone else. Every community could need more people and experienced fighters, no matter how well things were going. But in the end, racking your brain over this was just as useful as a wet match in a dark cave, Michonne was gonna do what she thought was right. No matter what. “Airplane "A" and airplane "B" are 1,000 miles apart. If airplane "A" is flying east at 500 miles per hour and airplane "B" is flying west at 650 miles per hour, how-” “You know what? I would definitely recommend booking a seat on airplane "C," because that is shaping up to be one hell of a mid-air collision”, Negan cut the girl with a chuckle off, glancing outside as Judith shifted on the stairs and let out an annoyed sigh. “You gonna help me or what?”, she grumbled, glancing at him, the hat of her brother swaying with the motion. “All right. Let me ask you somethin'. You ever seen an airplane fly in any direction at any speed?”, Negan asked his student, that not only reminded him of the little badass her brother was but also a little of his students back before shit went south, even though they’d been rather high-school age instead of ten. “No”, she mumbled, staring down at her book. “Do you think you ever will?” “Probably not.” “So what the hell difference does it make? See, math problems are supposed to apply to the real world. You want my help? Give me a question or a problem from right here, right now”, at least that was what he always thought as a kid, how learning something he could actually use in life than that dry shit school gave him. A short silence followed before she shut her books abruptly and glanced towards him from the stairs. “You know the strangers we brought here yesterday? My mom's gonna make them leave”, she grumbled, huffing as he glanced through the metal bars and remembered the chat from this morning, back when his girl had still laid in his arms. “Well, (Y/N) told me ‘bout the injured woman they got in the infirmary... but with you telling me about it, I guess you being you, you wanna help 'em”, he said, chuckling as she shrugged her shoulders. “I found 'em. I brought 'em here.” “Lemme tell you something. When I was about your age, I used to bring home stray dogs”, he said, rubbing his palm over his cheek as he could see (Y/N) face right in front of him, that swooning grin on her face as he had first told her about smuggling the dogs into his childhood home. God, she fuckin’ loved that part of the story. Still, that wasn’t the part he was gonna tell now, not the part that little badass needed to hear. “My mom, she hated it. I never understood why. They always seemed so friendly and grateful. Till one day I brought home the wrong dog”, he added, catching Judith's attention as she turned a little further towards the window. “What happened? Did it bite you?” “Not me. That dog killed all the other strays, chewed off half my mom's ear when she tried to stop it. The thing is, that dog seemed just as friendly and grateful as the rest of 'em”, he sighed, feeling a little sting within him as he thought about it. Hell, he fuckin’ loved those strays, those nights they slept right next to his bed or kept him playing, but just as much as he had enjoyed it, just as fuckin shitty had it been to see it all fall apart. “And what about after that? You ever bring home another dog?”, Judith asked, her eyes gleaming with curiosity as Negan let out a sigh. “Well, hell no. I wised my ass up”, he said, watching her face fall. “Yeah”, she grumbled, shutting her book before grabbing it and standing quickly up “And look how great everything turned out for you.” Well shit, there was the Carl in her comin’ right out. “Wait a minute. Where you going? I thought you wanted my help”, he called out as she made her first steps towards the other direction.   “I do, but just with math”, she said, shifting from side to side on her feet. “Why just math?”, Negan grumbled, raising his brows as he glanced at her. He was a fuckin’ great teacher, he could help her with most of that schoolwork and hell, it was good to feel like some normality was settling into his day. “Because it doesn't matter if you're a good or bad person on the inside. The numbers don't care.” ”I go check on her, you go take a break. Susan and Mike are still sleeping so we got some spare time”, Siddiq said as he grabbed his bag with utensils and glanced over at the house on the other side of the street where they had transferred the injured woman along with her fellow group members after the events in the church. She seemed to do better, even though you could still sense Siddiq’s annoyance about the change of plans that added extra work onto both of your shoulders. You nodded as you watched him rushing over to the door, stumbling out if it before he made his way quickly over to the other side of the street. For another moment you glanced into the other room, checking if the other patients where actually asleep before you grabbed some food and got yourself onto the infirmary’s  porch, plopping down on one of the comfortable chairs while the soft wind began to brush over your skin. You groaned quietly in response to the feeling of comfort that welcomed you in form of cozy pillows, eliciting a content hum as you shifted up and grabbed some bread. ”Can I join?”, you suddenly heard a soft voice ask, urging your glance to snap up as it caught Judith at the end of the stairs, holding a couple of books and glancing hungrily at the goods on the table. ”Sure”, you mumbled with a smile, gulping down your piece of bread as you nodded over at the other chair and leaned back into yours. ”Did Negan help you with that?”, you asked with a soft chuckle as soon as you saw her plunging her books and notes onto the table, exhaling as soon as the burden was off her arms. ”Hmm yes, except for one math problem”, she said with a sigh as she reached out for an apple and eventually let herself fall into the chair. ”How’s that?” ”Was a question ‘bout airplanes and he just said math has to apply to the real world, so I’d need a real world problem so he could answer it”, she said, as she took her first bite and shrugged slightly. “Maybe because he didn’t know the answer himself”, you joked, chuckling as you glanced over at her and the too large sheriff’s hat that was hovering on her head. You could feel a little warmth growing inside you as you glanced at her, as always when she was talking about the times Negan helped her with her homework or you walked by them as they finished them. You could see the teacher in him coming out and even more important, laughs and smiles that spread over his lips as he could finally do something to help and get a little variation from the day. “Maybe”, she eventually snickered, before she grew quiet for a moment, gulping down another piece of her apple before she looked reluctantly over at you. “About the new people...the woman with the prison tattoo...”, she mumbled, stopping as she glanced to the ground. “Yeah?”, you asked, raising your brows as she sighed quietly. “Do you think she’s bad ‘cause she was in prision?”, she mumbled, glancing up at you, with that look in her eyes that already told you that she had thought about this repeatedly since the scene in the church. “No...no, definitely not”, you mumbled, your mind switching for a moment to Negan, to the cell he was stuck in and the things people thought of him even though they knew nothing more than the things they wanted to see. You sighed, gulping softly as Judith kept looking at you, as if she needed more than just a ‘No’. “You know, sometimes things happen to people that put them on the wrong path...but that doesn’t directly mean that they can’t find the right one again”, you said, before she slowly nodded and chewed for a short moment on her lower lip. “Negan does...right?”, she eventually asked, her eyes meeting yours once more as you slowly nodded and gave her another smile. “Yeah.” “Talked to him about the new ones...do you know his stray dog story?”, she added, immediately eliciting the memories about this talk to whirl up again. “Oh I do”, you said, remembering his story as you glanced at her and let out a soft sigh, “But I guess you wanna know it that counts for the five too, huh?” She stayed silent for a moment before she nodded slightly while her fingers fumbled nervously on the rest of her apple. “Now I think he’s right with the thing that people are not always what they seem to be and yeah, you gotta be careful as hell, you really do...but I also think that not helping at all anymore is the solution as well”, you sighed, trying to choose your words wisely before gulping softly and going on, “You just have to find the right balance, make sure you check them and then slowly start to go on.” You could see her mind working as you got an uneasy feeling, thinking about what you could kick off in her if you gave her just a little too much hope. “But I think your Mom will make the right decision”, you added, even though a big part of you doubted it. The tension that laid slightly over her began to vanish as she seemed to believe your words at least enough for her to smile at you and give you another soft nod. ”Yeah”, she mumbled before you heard Susan’s sickly voice calling you from inside the infirmary, not loud enough for you to understand but still enough to understand that this was the symbol of your talk’s end. “Okay, my break’s over, gotta get back inside”, you said with a smile, nodding towards the infirmary’s door before your glance caught Judith grabbing her books as she lifted herself from the chair. “Do you think, Negan can help me with the rest of my homework? It’s biology”, she mumbled, glancing down at her books as she fumbled on the loose papers sticking out of the pages. “Oh, I’m sure he can, he’s been reading a whole lot lately”, you chuckled softly as you leaned against the door’s frame, watching her as she gave you another smile before hopping down the porch’s stairs. It didn’t take long for Siddiq to come back once you had ended your break. It stayed calm at the infirmary, despite taking care of the two sick patients your day stayed uneventful until your shift was reaching its end. Searching for your jacket to finally get going you went through the different rooms, wondering how the hell you had lost track of it before your feet eventually carried you to the main care room. Quickly your eyes caught your jacket on the wooden chair in the room’s corner, before it wandered to Siddiq and Ellen that stood at the counter, their voices reaching you as soon as you stepped into the room. “Yeah, wasn’t planned, not at all to be honest...but now we’re just happy it happened”, she mumbled, fumbling on her jackets ends that hovered over her small bump as Siddiq turned around, holding a can of prenatal vitamins in his hands while for another moment, your glance stayed for some reason stuck on her stomach, unwilling to detach from it. “Glad, it worked out for you”, he said with a smile, handing the can over to her as he nodded to the small messily written note that was attached to it,”Take three in total everyday, preferably one in the morning, midday and then the last one when you go to bed.” “Okay, thanks”, Ellen mumbled, smiling brightly as she let the vitamins slide into her bag and glanced once more happily at Siddiq ,”Well, then see you tomorrow for the ultrasound!” You didn’t really notice her going, for a few more moments you were stuck in your thoughts, going through her words once more as the picture of the small bump beneath her shirt and that bright smile on her lips refused to leave your mind, just like the warmth that had build up within you, the very same one you had felt before when Judith talked about Negan. You couldn’t deny that you had thought about it in all these years with Negan. What it would be like to have a little version of the both of you running around, hearing those small stumbling footsteps sound over the floor and hear this sweet little laughter. You couldn’t have it, not with the way things were, you knew it, so you mostly pushed it out of your head even though there had been some small moments and talks you’ve had with Negan about this topic, especially around the time Michonne gave birth to RJ. Still, this was a long time ago and neither of you had dug deeper into this topic, knowing that reality wouldn’t let you have it. And you had mostly kept on thinking this way up until now, up until Ellen had talked about her ‘happy accident’ and brought something else back into your head. You both couldn’t be too careful, so even though nothing had happened over all these years and you knew how the topic kids had turned out for Negan before the world went to shit, there still was a chance that it could happen. You caught yourself growing even warmer and more fuzzy as more memories and thoughts unfurled in your head. He’d be a great Dad. Hell, he'd be the best one. And the more you thought about it, the more you felt like those small talks with him about this topic weren’t enough anymore. No matter the fact that you couldn’t have the family you wanted with him with that damn cell in the way, you still needed to talk about it, just in case.

Not too much later you shifted over the sheets, leaning your back against the wall as your legs were hooked over Negan’s who leaned into the pillow at his bed’s end, listening to the events of the day, from the council, to Judith and eventually to the pregnant Ellen. ”That was your most exciting stuff at the infirmary, not that new survivor with that head shit?”, Negan quietly chuckled as you could feel yourself growing a little more nervous, enough for Negan to notice and cock his brow for a moment. “Just reminded me that it could happen to us too, I mean, we can’t be too careful...”, you mumbled, escaping his glance for a moment as your eyes were fixed on your fingers that fumbled uneasily on a loose threat on your pants. “Well, didn’t happen all those years...shit, even the times your monthly lil’ red friend arrived a bit too late it always turned out to be nothing”, you heard him mumble, directing your attention back to him as he ran his hand slowly over the salt and pepper beard stubble, shrugging softly as he went on, “Besides...don’t know if my boys are all fit...you know it never worked for me before.” A sigh left his lips, eliciting the memories about your talks about your lives before the world had gone to shit. “Well that can also have other reasons....too much pressure, stress”, you said, meeting his eyes as he slowly nodded. “I know, I know”, he mumbled, his fingers still lingering on his stubbly jaw before he cleared his throat and made a swift gesture around the cell, supporting what he said next ,”But we two got a whole different problem.” You gulped as you nodded softly, glancing at the cold stone as you looked down, searching for words. “I’m just...I just felt like we needed to have talked about it again...just in case. It’s been a while since we had that kinda talk.” “And you’re abso-fucking-lutely right about that, Baby”, he said as soon as your voice hushed, curiosity beginning to gleam a little up in you as you felt his hand reaching out to yours, enclosing it tightly while your eyes met the warm hazel ones of his again. “Sweetheart, if it would happen, I’d love the shit outta that baby. I’ve said it back in the day and that still counts”, he mumbled, a small smile growing on his lips that got instantly mirrored by your own lips, paired with a pleasant warm that began to flow through your veins, ”Hell, I’d love that kid just as fucking much as I love you.” Your smile widened softly, feeling the warmth now seeping into each and every of your cells as he began to play with your fingers, staying silent for as he observed your widening smile and your gently flushed cheeks. “So you really want that with me...Babies”, he eventually mumbled with a smile on his lips, almost as if he was talking to himself, putting the obvious into words. “You know I do...we’ve talked about this, ages ago but still...I’ve seen how you’re with Judith...you know, she also talked to me about you...I think you’d be a great Dad. I’ve always though that”, you said, unable to keep the smile from growing wider as your eyes locked with his,”So yeah, I want that with you.” His lips grew wider as well, enough to show his dimples beneath the stubble as this special warmth seemed to radiate through both of you. “Listen if things would be different, maybe we’d have that already, who knows”, he mumbled, obviously forcing himself to not let wishes take over the cruel reality,”Either way, just to make it clear as shit, if crap was some other kinda way...having a family with you, hell that shit would be right on top of my fucking list.” You softly nodded, feeling how he grasped your hand tighter and let his thumb draw circles over its back his glance staying fixed on you even though you could tell by its look that part of him was drifting off and imagining what could be. “Maybe we’ll still get that one day, who knows”, you mumbled, grasping his hand back as you slowly caught him nodding. “Yeah”, he mumbled, looking for a moment at your intertwined hands before glancing back up at you, his hand leaving yours only so he could open his arms for you, “Come here.” Slowly, you cuddled into his side, hooking your leg over his as you were leaning your forehead against his warm neck and watched your fingertips running up his firm chest. Carefully, Negan leaned his head against yours, letting out a content hum as he pressed a small kiss to your temple and wrapped his arms a little tighter around your body. “We’d make awesome babies”, he grumbled with a soft chuckle against your skin, eliciting a chuckle to leave your lips as well as a comforting warmth began to fill you up once more. “Yeah”, you mumbled as you slightly nodded and cuddled a little closer up, allowing yourself to dive a little deeper into the imagination of what could be,”You know with you as their Dad, their first word would be ‘fuck’ for sure.” “Most fucking definitely”, Negan chuckled, his laugh rumbling through his chest before he got quieter again and nuzzled his nose into your hair, ”They’d be the best, cutest little fuckers all ‘round.” “Mhmm”, you mumbled softly, feeling how a bigger smile began to grow on your lips as his words repeated in your head and mixed with the pleasant feeling that got elicited as his warm breath brushed over your skin. “Can you imagine what they’d look like? Hell, be like?”, Negan said, growing noticeably more enthusiastic as another soft chuckle rumbled through his chest and you could feel the mix of a grin and a wide smile growing wider on his lips. “Maybe got your humor...I’d love that”, you softly chuckled,”Even though I’m sure they’d get in a whole lot of trouble for that...” “Probably”, he grumbled with another small laugh before his lips pressed once more against your skin, his beard tickling you softly before his deep voice vibrated against you again. ”As fuckin’ cheesy as that shit sounds...would love them to be like you, or just a damn mix of us...”, he grumbled, his voice growing even warmer before the tease found its home in it again ,”Maybe have your stubborn streak.” “You’re at least as stubborn as I am, probably even more”, you chuckled back, shoving his chest playfully as he let out a deep chuckle and squeezed your waist softly in response as he pressed another, this time bigger, kiss to your forehead. “You know...even though we can’t have that yet...doesn’t mean we can’t practice, right?”, he grumbled with an audible grin, shifting just seconds later on his side so he could hover over you, a mix of a smile and his signature smirk dancing over his lips as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips. You hummed in approval, lacing your fingers into his short dark hair before he let go of you, his lips still swaying closely over yours as you pecked them once more and softly chuckled. “Right.”

(The gif isn’t mine/ it was originally posted by dancing-at-the-funeralparty) tagging:

@agespenst @imaginesforthepeople @porgs-r-us @squidgy84 @toxic-ink @Nobodylastname @nice-shoes-nerd @thegirlwiththelyrics99 @tolieboy @writteninthestars288@magical-spit @straightestgay-voice @xsnak-3x @myrabbitholetoneverland  @dasani-saraai @negan-is-god@harry-titss @traumbruch @negans-network@theblankestostares @amysuemc @ashzombie13 @trashimaginezblog @jeffreydeanneganstrash @sweetwittlebosco @futureofdestiel @bananakid42 @dragongirl420 @kalliewinchester-queenofhell@futureofdestiel @timeladyrikaofgallifrey @osakamilk @kattyshea20 @dinodiegos @missmotherhen @kinkygamertrash @beahippie23 @xabeautifultragedyx @negansmagic@starwarsandstufff @bdohe21 @lovesjdm @vanilla-negan @to-pick-ourselves-up-7 @roselover159 @mamarhee @the-writingdead @traumbruch @bellawindixon @dlb1999 @thelittlewolf45 @collette04 @ask-kakashihatake @princessbelgoof @adixon13@botanicalthoughts @nijiru@cheyanhicks @jtklover123 @twentyonewalkerss@originalwinchestervamp @readytourie @ijashanaa @i-am-lady-anarchy @marauderspads @humble-thumb @hp-hogwartsexpress @mydeliciousdandelion @warriorqueen1991 @unholyjs @kentuckywalker @mydeliciousdandelion@dancing-in-embers @gackts-guwashi @ugh-abbyxx @frozenhuntress67 @hela-rious48 @thoughtfullyoptimisticgalaxy @xojeffreydeanmorgan @thelittlewolf45 @babygirlmeepi @thehybridsqueen @blueeyedsoutherngal @naniky @negans-network @the-wintergirl @fangirl-and-medstudent-help @lovesjdm @oofasaurus

part 48 / “Evolution”

(In case you want to be tagged or untagged for specific things or everything I write, just let me know! Also: The gif is not mine, I got it from google so credit to the original owner)

[sterek]

Hey! So I’m new to the fandom I watched Teen wolf seasons 1-6 within 4 days lmao, but I was just wondering could you recommend the best sterek au fics? Your blog is amazing btw!

Sorry it took me a while, but here you go! These are my favorite AU fics in no particular order :) (and thank you boo

A Crooked Way to Fly by andavs [14k G]

“We can’t just leave him here to die.”

“He’s an emissary, Scott.” Derek tried to make his tone empathetic, but Scott’s tendency to fight back on everything always grated on his nerves. “His pack is gone, he won’t survive more than a day or two either way.”

“Then we should stay with him.”

Derek sighed as he studied the man for a moment; he was too pale against the fur rim of his hood, almost grey from lying out in the snow, and his cloak was stained with dark dried blood around a protruding arrow shaft. It was unlikely he would even last the night. They would probably be able to carry on in the morning with little time lost, if any.

It wasn’t a horrible idea, Derek decided reluctantly. They hadn’t been able to set up a real camp for a few weeks in the open foothills, and they were all on edge from sleeping in exposed areas. A defensible place to sleep would be good for them, even if they were surrounded by death. They would be able to give the pack proper burials, at the very least.

“Fine. One night,” Derek relented, already moving away to check on Isaac. “He’s your responsibility.”

Put Down in Words by paintedrecs [203k, M]

“Oh,” Stiles said, his voice coming out low and breathy, “fuck me.”

“I don’t think that’s on the syllabus, but we can check to see if there’s a spot open in any of his classes,” Scott said, grinning.

“This isn’t an actual professor, though,” Stiles insisted, unable to resist brushing his thumb over the sharp line of the man’s bearded jaw. He was laughing at something off-camera, the shot taken in three-quarters view, his coat collar casually rumpled and opened to reveal a sliver of a simple grey t-shirt. The whole thing was deliberately calculated to lend him a more accessible feel, and god help him, Stiles was falling for it.

*

When Stiles signed up for Dr. Hale’s intro to history class, he had two goals: knock out the credits his advisor was bugging him to complete before he graduated, and spend a few hours a week daydreaming about his sexy professor’s salt and pepper beard.

Derek, a few months away from turning forty and not sure when his life had started feeling so damn lonely, had never encountered someone like Stiles before. Bright-eyed, sharp-tongued, determined to throw Derek’s carefully cultivated world into disarray…and absolutely the last person Derek should be falling in love with.

Cupboard Love by mklutz [32k, G]

He’s carefully balancing the sandwiches and the two biggest tupperware containers he could find that both had functioning lids when the front door opens and he almost drops everything right there in front of the stupid fountain.

If that’s Derek Hale, he’s definitely not a mountain man.

One life stand by Vendelin [84k, E]

Stiles is used to selling himself to make ends meet. But it's getting harder to keep those ends meeting, and there's only so much of Stiles to go around. Until a too-fancy car shows up in his neighborhood, and he meets Derek Hale.

All Derek wants is Stiles's time, someone to stay on his arm for events and smile for the cameras. It's the easiest job Stiles has ever had, the best-paying one he's ever had, and he's more than happy to sign up.

Derek is everything and nothing Stiles expects him to be, with his tailored suits, sharp mind and his quiet way of caring. But it's just a job and Stiles never meant to fall in love.

In Other Words, Baby, Kiss Me by primroseshows [61k, E]

Stiles has simple goals in life. To successfully complete his secret radar project without getting fired, to get a cottage on the Moon, and to untangle his mess of feelings for Moon Station 3 deputy, Derek Hale. Heck, he'll even settle for two of the three.

The Circus at the End of the World by mikkimouse [91k, E]

Three hundred years ago, the world ended not with a bang or a whimper, but with magic.

Since then, magic has been outlawed, and the world has clawed its way back to some kind of stability, with people and shifters alike divided between living within the walled safety of the Havens, or the small, less protected outposts dotting the frontier.

Derek Hale and his sisters, Laura and Cora, are the proprietors of Hale's Circus of Magic, Monsters, and Mystical Wonders, known colloquially as the Circus at the End of the World. They and their ragtag pack ride the rails between the outposts and the Havens, performing for those who can pay (and some who can't). Their circus is a small haven in and of itself, a place of safety for those who have nowhere else to go.

It's a quiet life...until Stiles Stilinski joins the crew.

The circus has something Stiles needs—a ticket into the Haven of Santa Francesca. His father has been abducted, and Stiles is determined to get him back no matter what he has to do.

But Stiles has another secret, one that puts him and every member of the circus in danger. And if he's not careful, it could get them all killed.

The Silent Fury by andavs, rosepetals42 [31k, M]

Derek is about to leave, content with the smell of blood as proof that the Fury is dead when he hears it.

A heartbeat.

It’s faint and uneven and even with its help, it takes Derek a full minute of scanning the clearing before he finally spots the small heap that must be the human. It’s down on the far side of the canyon, almost completely hidden by a tall oak tree and–Derek jumps down before he thinks about it.

He knows what he has to do. Furies are dangerous. Furies are fire and smoke and a funeral he barely remembers. He lands almost silently and makes sure his hands are fully shifted into claws and then slowly moves forward.

Or, a How to Train Your Dragon AU

Kindred Spirits by Stoney [104k, E]

Anne of Green Gables/Teen Wolf AU.Stiles is the adopted son of the Sheriff, brought to Beacon Hills to hopefully stay for good. A family, a best friend, school, Jackson as Josie Pye (because who else could he be?) and the mystery of a dark haired, green-eyed boy which leads Stiles to discovering a secret within himself.

Sell Your Body to the Night by Dira Sudis (dsudis) [121k, E]

"No," he repeated impatiently. "I'm not a cop. I'm someone who wants to exchange my money for your sexual services. I was told you were in that line of work."

"I, uh, yeah, sorry," Stiles said. He glanced around again and then up--the full moon was almost directly overhead. Just one of those nights, maybe. "Yeah, I am. I do that."

But Then What... by Stoney [24k, E]

Senior year is almost over, and all Stiles needs to do is keep his head down to survive. A teacher calls in a favor, leaving him stuck tutoring Derek Hale, one of the most popular jocks in school and a member of a group of douchecanoes who have bullied Stiles for years. He's someone Stiles totally hates. Totally. Like, doesn't like him even a little bit. DEFINITELY isn't attracted to him.

Except that is a total lie. Fuck his life, seriously.Senior year is almost over, and all Stiles needs to do is keep his head down to survive. A teacher calls in a favor, leaving him stuck tutoring Derek Hale, one of the most popular jocks in school and a member of a group of douchecanoes who have bullied Stiles for years. He's someone Stiles totally hates. Totally. Like, doesn't like him even a little bit. DEFINITELY isn't attracted to him.Except that is a total lie. Fuck his life, seriously.

Little Wild Animal by DiscontentedWinter [61k, E]

Derek Hale finds a feral human on his pack's property.Humans are supposed to be extinct.But then, Stiles is full of surprises.

(also read the other work in the series, it’s more original fic than sterek but i adore it!)

I Know Where Babies Come From, Derek by DiscontentedWinter [51k, M]

Stiles finds a baby on the porch.

It looks exactly like him.

Well, this is awkward.

Don't Speak by fatale [68k, T]

The Alpha pack has systematically attacked Stiles and his friends for months, testing their strengths and weaknesses. When one of the Alphas goes after Stiles, he awakens in the hospital and realizes that something's wrong. Very wrong. All sounds seem to hurt him, he can't understand what anyone is saying, and when he tries to speak, it's gibberish. How is he supposed to deal with the fact that he's lost the ability to communicate with his dad and his friends?

Without his ability to talk, his sarcasm, and his wit, what does Stiles even have left? Enter Derek, the only one who seems to make it better.

Occam's Razor by MissAnnThropic [49k, E] [and also read the sequel!!]

When Stiles goes to sleep, he’s a junior in high school. He wakes up in a world where he’s twenty-four and married to Derek Hale. Stiles just can’t seem to catch a break.

Specialized Technical Intelligence and Logistics for Earth and Space (S.T.I.L.E.S) by Yiichi [63k, NR]

“What the hell kind of a name is Stiles?” he asked.

“You know, a series of sounds spoken in a particular sequence that represent my identity, primarily, referring to me?“ the AI – Stiles – answered cheekily, crossing his own arms in front of his chest, mirroring Derek’s position.

“Ooh, this one’s feisty,” Peter smirked.

Tiny Houses by ohmyjetsabel ]77k, E]

"So this is what Stiles does. He lies in Scott’s bed and waits for Melissa to say she’s found someone to get it out of him, to cure him of the wrongness and the bad, and he dreams.

God, he dreams.

He dreams of fire and swollen bellies and that scene in Alien, of giving birth to jackals through his urethra, the whole horrific nine yards. His head is a terrible place to be, he can’t imagine his stomach is much better, why anyone would want to put a thing inside of it."

Stilinski's Home for Wayward Wolves by owlpostagain [35k, T]

“At least your puppies knock first,” Stiles snorts. “Here I thought their alpha raised them to be well-mannered.”

“There’s a sign,” Derek responds stiffly.

Stiles, whose curiosity outweighs even his hardest of grudges, abandons his chilly façade of nonchalance in a heartbeat. He jumps right up and all but pushes Derek out of the way in his effort to get to the window, and sure enough when he leans outside there’s a laminated strip of cardstock duct taped to the vinyl siding:

DON’T FORGET TO KNOCK Stiles gets cranky when we scare him

---

Or, in which Stiles Stilinski moves to Beacon Hills for his junior year of high school and accidentally adopts a pack of teenage werewolves.

The entire Bodice Ripper 'Verse byStoney!!!

Fly a Little Faster by mirrorkill [32k, T]

Everyone knows when you go back in time, you shouldn't step on an ant, just in case you accidentally kill your own grandparent or something. But what happens when you go back in time and, uh, accidentally interrupt the one event that apparently made the Grumpiest Alpha in Town into a ball of mindless manpain?

Well, if Marty McFly can do it, so can Stiles Stilinski. All he has to do is get Derek and Paige to fall in love before he gets pulled back to his own time. And before he makes anything worse. That's easy as pie, right? Right?

Enemy Lines by qhuinn (tekla) [149k, E]

This is the story of werewolf Derek Hale and human Stiles Stilinski: two people who grew up in the same town but completely different worlds, their realities split by the war between men and wolves.

Years later when Derek returns to Beacon Hills, he does it as Alpha of a military pack on a mission to capture those responsible for the region’s resistance. With his main objective, Sheriff Stilinski, out of sight, he settles for the next best thing: his son, Stiles.

Neither of them suspects they’ll need to trust each other if they want to make it out this alive.

an exaltation of larks by llassah [25k, E]

There are times when he feels as if they could fall into bed together, easy as breathing. If Stiles were not highborn, if he were an omega without connections, Derek would be sorely tempted. As it is, he resists. Derek wants, he yearns, but he resists. Still, the sight of Stiles in his cot is enough to test him, even now that it is familiar. At the end of each lambing season, he sleeps for a week, worn down by months of hard work, of relentless struggle. He doesn’t know how he’ll feel by the time Stiles leaves, how he’ll feel after long days and longer nights spent resisting the insistent tug of Stiles’s scent and the inclinations of his own foolish heart.

All Derek wants is to get through the lambing season with his body and spirit intact. He had thought that the blizzards would be the main danger, not a highborn omega with beautiful eyes and a stubborn streak.

Move A Mountain by ZainClaw [69k, E]

Stiles goes camping with his friends in New Mexico after graduation where they befriend a biker gang led by Derek: a guy whom Stiles can’t decide if he will be either relieved or devastated to never see again once their week is up.

The Importance of Turning Around Three Times Before Lying Down by otter [31k, M]

It’s like this dog has walked out of all of Stiles’ childhood dreams and into the real world just because Stiles wanted it hard enough. He is the most awesome dog ever, and he and Stiles have a bond. A deep, unbreakable bond because this animal is his soul mate, obviously. Now he just has to convince the dog of that. 

Stiles's Story Time by trilliath [125k, E]

Where Stiles is a librarian who is in charge of the kids' reading hour and such. And Derek is 6-year-old Scott's adoptive dad. And Stiles has his own take on Stories and Scott loves wolves and Derek tries not to admit that he likes the way Stiles's face looks in those glasses.Or something like that.

Not Your Disney Romance by Rawren (Zimothy) [42k, M]

After a long-forgotten agreement of an arranged marriage between Derek and the daughter of another pack's alpha resurfaces, Stiles takes it upon himself to become the most amazing fake fiancé that a clueless, desperate alpha werewolf could wish for.

There is a Brotherhood by minusoneday [21k, E]

So far, college has taught Stiles three things:

1) Eight am classes are cruel and unusual and should be avoided at all costs, even if it means having to enroll in something truly hideous instead, like Econ 101.

2) Dorm security is just as tight as Stiles’ orientation leader had promised it would be, and the dude guarding Scott’s dorm in particular does not respond well to bribes.

3) Mrs. McCall clearly had no clue what she was talking about when she’d insisted that Scott and Stiles needed to branch out and room with strangers, so it’s all her fault that Scott ended up with a total dick of a roommate and Stiles got stuck all the way across campus with some guy who has a girlfriend two towns over and is thus never around.

Or, the one where pledge brothers Stiles and Scott start a prank war with Derek Hale's fraternity.

Prince Among Wolves by Rawren (Zimothy) [101k, E]

Looking for full day/evening sitter. 2 twin boys age 4. Must have exp. w/werewolves. Must be human. No pedophiles. No teenage girls. Pay negotiable.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation by grimm [118k, E]

There's something weird about Beacon Hills that Stiles can't quite put his finger on. The way everyone in town knows his name the day he arrives. The way they insist the melancholic howling that echoes through the forest every night is just a dog. The way his dad denies getting a dog, even though Stiles comes home to find one sprawled across his bed, some big black thing whose eyes gleam red in the right light. The way that massive oak tree out in the woods vibrates under his touch, pulsing with sickly life.

There's something weird going on in this town, and Stiles is determined to get to the bottom of it.

Cornerstone by Vendelin [83k, E]

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else. 

[Not!Fic] Random Craigslist Missed Connections Derek/Stiles Not!Fic of Doom by fire_juggler_writes (fire_juggler) [17k, T]

An AU in which Stiles is lonely and addicted to the Missed Connections page on Craigslist, Derek is a hermit with a persistant sister, Scott gives unexpectedly good relationship advice, and it all ends happily-ever-after.

Trust Fall by Stoney [144k, T]

Stiles is fairly certain that a case could be made for every bad thing in his life coming back to Peter Hale. This time it's pissing off a powerful witch, who retaliated by swapping Stiles and Derek a la Freaky Friday, because sure. That makes sense. Um, there are GPAs on the line, not to mention the whole thing where his dad wants to shoot Derek on sight. Except who he sees as Derek is actually Stiles, and Stiles did not sign up for filicide.

Great. Wait...does this mean he's the Alpha until they figure this out? Holy. Shit.****

Derek had stood in front of the bathroom mirror for a few minutes trying to control the panic as he saw himself as Stiles. As the loud mouthed human friend of the pack. He was going to kill Peter. He was going to kill the witch, then he was going to kill Peter. Maybe even resurrect him again just to kill him all over.

They were going to have to play this cool. They would have to stay calm and focused. Which is of course why the universe threw him into this situation with someone who physically couldn't be calm and focused.

Of course.

Stand Fast in Your Enchantments by DevilDoll, Rahciach [76k, E]

"Stiles knew damn well what a pissed-off wolf sounded like, and every hair on the back of his neck was telling him that somewhere in this room was a very pissed-off werewolf." An AU in which Derek is feral, Stiles is magical, and they eat a lot of fast food.

Safety in Silence by Survivah [66k, M]

It's perfectly understandable. Even Derek wouldn't want to be Derek's soulmate. 

Where The Inevitable Isn't by Survivah [41k, M]

Stiles has a magical thingamajig that's supposed to get him out of danger. Trouble is, it took him really, really far out of danger. Like, to the point where he isn't in the same universe anymore.

"A part of Stiles had been thinking that he’d come home, and just go, 'hey, Derek, are we mates and you just haven’t said anything about it?' and Derek would reply, 'now you mention it, we are indeed! Now come to my bedchamber, where we will have super hot sex and then cuddle after!'"

"Pretend this is our den, kay?" by Survivah [16k, M]

In which Stiles is raised by (were)wolves, and he and Derek are childhood sweethearts that never stopped. Also, Kate Argent is a homicidal maniac but a very helpful plot device.

The Boy and the Beast by Dira Sudis (dsudis) [116k, M]

In which events in Beacon Hills go rather differently from the start, and a Beauty and the Beast (ish) story ensues. (Scott is not a teacup and no one sings about their feelings.)

[fanficshiddles]

I’m still breathing, Chapter 14

Sophie woke up the following morning with a headache again after the amount of alcohol she drank the previous night. She was still in her clothing from last night too, having just fell into bed and passed out.

When she sat up, she noticed Loki sitting on her bed too. He was on top of the covers and smirked at her.

‘What?’ She groaned and fell down on her back again.

‘You were very drunk last night. Do you remember the end of the night?’ He leaned over and pressed his palm to her forehead, concentrating on taking away the pain for her.

‘Thanks… Not really. I remember dancing with you, then taking more shots that Wanda gave me.’ Sophie rolled onto her side to look at him.

Loki lay down on his side too and reached out to stroke the tips of his fingers down her cheek. ‘So, you don’t remember when we were making our way back here?’ He grinned.

Sophie frowned. ‘No… I didn’t do anything stupid did I? Oh god, what did I do?’ She panicked.

‘No, you didn’t.’ Loki laughed. ‘However, you did fall through a wall.’

Sophie took a second to process what he said. ‘I… What?’ She was mortified. Thinking that she had broken through dry wall or something. ‘I didn’t realise I was that strong? Did I do a lot of damage?’

Loki laughed again. ‘Not like that. You simply phased through it.’

She just looked at him with utter confusion written all over her face.

‘Once you get showered and dressed, I will show you what I mean. I’ve called for a meeting with everyone in the surveillance room.’

Sophie had the quickest shower ever, then threw on some clean clothes and chucked her hair up in a ponytail.

‘Impressive.’ Loki commented as they made their way from her room to the surveillance room.

When there, Loki pulled up the security footage of the corridor from last night. It showed Loki turning around to bid Thor goodnight, with Sophie skipping along happily until she stumbled and fell towards the wall. She put her hands out to save herself but simply went straight through the wall instead.

‘Holy shit!’ Sophie’s hand flew over her mouth as she watched in shock at what she did.

‘I also had my suspicions, remember that night in the library? You were asleep on the floor?’ Loki said, typing in another date and time into the system to get another clip.

‘Yeah…’ Sophie trailed off, not entirely sure where he was going with it.

The rest of the team were just watching on in shock too.

The clip Loki showed next, Sophie was on the sofa in the library. She fell asleep and fell straight through the side of the sofa, onto the floor. She’d been in such a deep sleep which is why she never woke when she hit the floor.

‘I think this is why you ended up under the bed too.’ Loki said, turning off the clip.

‘So… I can go through things? But I don’t even know how I did it?’ Sophie looked at Loki, then the others. Who looked just as baffled as Sophie was.

Clint gave her a gentle pat on the back. ‘Well, that’s what we will work on. Help train you to do it without needing to put any thought into it. We’ll help you get it figured out, kid. Don’t worry.’

‘Thanks guys.’ Sophie smiled.

Later that day, Sophie was in the living room reading up on mutant’s history. Something she hadn’t exactly wanted to know about, but with being one she thought it might be best to learn about her history. But she felt her stomach sinking in fear as she did. The realisation that the new laws to protect mutants were still very new. And what with Fury acting all weird on SHIELDs behalf, she was really worried that they were going to use her like some lab rat.

‘You look worried, poppet. What’s wrong?’ Loki asked upon entering the room.

Sophie held up the book to show him the front cover.

‘Ah. I really wish you hadn’t read that.’ He said, concerned as he motioned for her to scoot over so he could sit next to her.

‘I know. I wish I hadn’t either. But I really wanted to know about my history, you know? I mean, it’s good that it’s come so far and there are laws to protect us now. But it’s still a bit scary not knowing what SHIELD really want with me.’ She leaned her head on Loki’s shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her.

He kissed the top of her head. ‘I know, love. But you know we won’t let anything happen to you. You’re safe with me.’ He assured her.

‘I know. Thank you.’ She put the book down and wrapped her arms around Loki, hugging into him.

God, she was sure she would never tire of being held by him. In his strong arms, feeling so safe and content. How she’d went all her life thus far without affection was beyond her. She found herself craving it from Loki so much. She only hoped she wouldn’t become too clingy.

‘Now what’s wrong?’ Loki asked knowingly as he leaned back slightly and gripped her chin between his fingers.

‘How do you do that?’ Sophie asked.

‘Do what?’

‘You seem to know what I’m thinking.’ She smiled.

‘I can tell by your body language.’ He smirked cockily.

‘Damn. I’ll need to try and hide it better.’ She teased.

‘Come on, what are you thinking now?’

‘I was just starting to worry that I’m becoming too clingy with you.’ She admitted sheepishly. ‘I don’t want to bug you, ever!’

‘You know, I was worried about the same thing this morning.’ Loki laughed, relieved.

‘You were?’ Sophie’s eyes widened in realisation.

‘I tend to get rather… Possessive over people I love. Clingy too. I was worried I was going to scare you away.’ Loki reached up and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, making her blush.

‘You… Love me?’

Loki faltered slightly, realising he’d let that word slip. Even though it was the truth. ‘Yes, I do.’ It was his turn for his cheeks to turn slightly red.

‘I love you too.’ Sophie whispered, making Loki smile.

Sophie and Loki were both on cloud nine after finally telling one another that they were in love. They made sure to tell each other every single opportunity they could. And most nights they fell asleep together, cuddled on the sofa in the living room or in the library.

Thor was over the moon for his brother. He’d never seen him so happy and in love before. It was clear how much Loki absolutely adored Sophie and vice versa. They were almost inseparable over the coming weeks.

They tried to train with Sophie, not only with her dagger and fighting skills but to try and get her powers under control. But she was struggling to make it happen. It happened, by accident a few times a week. One minute she was leaning against a wall, the next she was disappearing through it. Or she would be asleep in bed and then on the floor when she woke up.

The best one was once when Loki went to kiss her after teasing her about her height, but instead of kissing him she fell right through him. Which was a weird sensation for the both of them.

Pepper, Wanda and Natasha decided one Saturday night that Sophie needed a break from training. So they decided to take her out clubbing in the city. They were going to meet up with Jane, Darcy and Clint’s wife, Laura.

‘Are you sure it’s a good idea?’ Loki frowned while he watched Sophie straightening her hair, it was almost time for her to go with the girls.

‘I will be with one of the world’s most deadly assassins, an incredibly strong witch and some of the best scientists in the world. I’m sure I will be fine.’ Sophie grinned at him in the mirror, he was standing behind her, watching.

‘Oh, I do not doubt your safety in that aspect. But more so that Natasha is a bad influence on you when it comes to alcohol.’ Loki chuckled.

‘I know, but it will be fine.’ Sophie smiled.

Sophie was surprised with how much she enjoyed her night out with the girls. They were at the second club of the night, downing a bunch of shots and dancing around to club music.

They were talking about all the men and the conversation turned to Loki.

‘I still can’t get over how much Loki adores you, Sophie.’ Natasha said, hooking her arm around Sophie’s shoulder.

‘I guess I’m a lucky girl.’ Sophie shrugged, smiling.

Jane then spoke up. ‘Thor told me that he has never seen him so in love before. He’s so happy for you both, as we all are. But Thor really believes that Loki is turning a corner now.’

Sophie didn’t really know what to say to that, apart from blushing.

But Laura came to her defence. ‘Come on girls, we’re embarrassing her! She knows Loki loves her.’

Sophie gave her a smile as a silent way of thanking her. The conversation turned again to the other guys instead. But Sophie couldn’t deny how happy it made her feel inside, knowing that she was making a different to Loki’s life, just like he was for her.

Later on during the night, Sophie ended up with Natasha in the bathroom. They were fixing up their make-up.

‘Can I ask you something?’ Sophie asked Natasha.

‘Of course you can, chick. What’s up?’

‘I… I’m worried that Loki will lose interest in me. I mean, he’s not ever made a move on me yet. But I know that soon he will want sex. But I don’t know if and when I will be able to do that.’

Natasha stopped applying her lipstick and turned her full attention to the younger girl.

‘We weren’t lying when we said that he adores and loves you. Loki doesn’t seem the type to be after just one thing. We are surrounded by a great bunch of guys. I think if Loki was only interested in sex, you’d know about it by now. Why not talk to him about it? Are you nervous because it would be your first time?’

‘Well, not really that. I…’ Sophie sighed and looked down. ‘The one and only time a guy initiated sex with me, was because he was going to rape me.’ She blurted out quickly.

‘Oh, Sophie. I’m so sorry.’ Natasha’s face fell and she put her arm around her again.

‘It’s fine. Really. It was ages ago. But I just… I don’t know.’

‘Does Loki know?’

‘Yeah, I told him about it months ago.’ Sophie nodded.

‘Then I’m sure he already understands. But talk to him about it, see what his views are on the situation.’

‘Yeah, you’re right. I’m just being silly.’

‘Hey, you’re not being silly. You’ve been through a lot, it’s only natural.’ Natasha gave her an encouraging smile.

‘Thanks, Nat.’ Sophie smiled back at her and gave her a hug.

Loki had stayed up in the living room to wait for the girls returning. It was obvious when they had returned, as the noise they were making was enough to wake up the entire base.

He watched in amusement as they all stumbled through to the kitchen, hushing each other and trying to stay quiet but failing miserably. They had takeaway with them and all piled around the table to eat various kebabs, pakora, chips and pizza.

It always amazed Loki how much junk food they could all eat, yet still stay fit and healthy.

He crept up behind Sophie with no one noticing him. Until he put his hands onto her shoulders and whispered in her ear. ‘Welcome back, love.’

Sophie let out a screech in fright, making everyone else jump too.

‘Jesus! You scared me.’ Sophie put her hand over her heart.

‘Not Jesus, even better, God of mischief.’ Loki chuckled and pulled up a seat next to her, stealing some of her kebab meat.

‘How did you know we were back?’ She asked, frowning at him as he then stole some of her chips too.

‘You are all not exactly mice… More like elephants.’ Loki smirked, just as the rest of the team came through to see what all the noise was. All of their faces lit up when they saw the food.

The girls all growled and grumbled when the guys tried to steal their food. But in the end, it became a large feast with everyone around the table tucking in.

Even through her drunken haze, Sophie took in the scene. It was 2am and everyone was laughing and enjoying the food. She’d just had a great night out with the girls, her first time clubbing a great success. And she didn’t have any panic attacks. Now she had Loki’s arm around her waist as they shared food. She couldn’t believe how lucky she had become.

She was home.

[imagine-loki]

I'm still breathing, Chapter 14

TITLE: I’m still breathing CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 14 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine a mutant has been living on the streets for years, until she is picked up by the Avengers. She’s taken to live with them so they can help her to discover what her powers are. Loki especially, takes an interest in her. The two become very fond of one another as they discover what her power is. RATING: M 

Sophie woke up the following morning with a headache again after the amount of alcohol she drank the previous night. She was still in her clothing from last night too, having just fell into bed and passed out.

When she sat up, she noticed Loki sitting on her bed too. He was on top of the covers and smirked at her.

‘What?’ She groaned and fell down on her back again.

‘You were very drunk last night. Do you remember the end of the night?’ He leaned over and pressed his palm to her forehead, concentrating on taking away the pain for her.

‘Thanks… Not really. I remember dancing with you, then taking more shots that Wanda gave me.’ Sophie rolled onto her side to look at him.

Loki lay down on his side too and reached out to stroke the tips of his fingers down her cheek. ‘So, you don’t remember when we were making our way back here?’ He grinned.

Sophie frowned. ‘No… I didn’t do anything stupid did I? Oh god, what did I do?’ She panicked.

‘No, you didn’t.’ Loki laughed. ‘However, you did fall through a wall.’

Sophie took a second to process what he said. ‘I… What?’ She was mortified. Thinking that she had broken through dry wall or something. ‘I didn’t realise I was that strong? Did I do a lot of damage?’

Loki laughed again. ‘Not like that. You simply phased through it.’

She just looked at him with utter confusion written all over her face.

‘Once you get showered and dressed, I will show you what I mean. I’ve called for a meeting with everyone in the surveillance room.’

Sophie had the quickest shower ever, then threw on some clean clothes and chucked her hair up in a ponytail.

‘Impressive.’ Loki commented as they made their way from her room to the surveillance room.

When there, Loki pulled up the security footage of the corridor from last night. It showed Loki turning around to bid Thor goodnight, with Sophie skipping along happily until she stumbled and fell towards the wall. She put her hands out to save herself but simply went straight through the wall instead.

‘Holy shit!’ Sophie’s hand flew over her mouth as she watched in shock at what she did.

‘I also had my suspicions, remember that night in the library? You were asleep on the floor?’ Loki said, typing in another date and time into the system to get another clip.

‘Yeah…’ Sophie trailed off, not entirely sure where he was going with it.

The rest of the team were just watching on in shock too.

The clip Loki showed next, Sophie was on the sofa in the library. She fell asleep and fell straight through the side of the sofa, onto the floor. She’d been in such a deep sleep which is why she never woke when she hit the floor.

‘I think this is why you ended up under the bed too.’ Loki said, turning off the clip.

‘So… I can go through things? But I don’t even know how I did it?’ Sophie looked at Loki, then the others. Who looked just as baffled as Sophie was.

Clint gave her a gentle pat on the back. ‘Well, that’s what we will work on. Help train you to do it without needing to put any thought into it. We’ll help you get it figured out, kid. Don’t worry.’

‘Thanks guys.’ Sophie smiled.

Later that day, Sophie was in the living room reading up on mutant’s history. Something she hadn’t exactly wanted to know about, but with being one she thought it might be best to learn about her history. But she felt her stomach sinking in fear as she did. The realisation that the new laws to protect mutants were still very new. And what with Fury acting all weird on SHIELDs behalf, she was really worried that they were going to use her like some lab rat.

‘You look worried, poppet. What’s wrong?’ Loki asked upon entering the room.

Sophie held up the book to show him the front cover.

‘Ah. I really wish you hadn’t read that.’ He said, concerned as he motioned for her to scoot over so he could sit next to her.

‘I know. I wish I hadn’t either. But I really wanted to know about my history, you know? I mean, it’s good that it’s come so far and there are laws to protect us now. But it’s still a bit scary not knowing what SHIELD really want with me.’ She leaned her head on Loki’s shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her.

He kissed the top of her head. ‘I know, love. But you know we won’t let anything happen to you. You’re safe with me.’ He assured her.

‘I know. Thank you.’ She put the book down and wrapped her arms around Loki, hugging into him.

God, she was sure she would never tire of being held by him. In his strong arms, feeling so safe and content. How she’d went all her life thus far without affection was beyond her. She found herself craving it from Loki so much. She only hoped she wouldn’t become too clingy.

‘Now what’s wrong?’ Loki asked knowingly as he leaned back slightly and gripped her chin between his fingers.

‘How do you do that?’ Sophie asked.

‘Do what?’

‘You seem to know what I’m thinking.’ She smiled.

‘I can tell by your body language.’ He smirked cockily.

‘Damn. I’ll need to try and hide it better.’ She teased.

‘Come on, what are you thinking now?’

‘I was just starting to worry that I’m becoming too clingy with you.’ She admitted sheepishly. ‘I don’t want to bug you, ever!’

‘You know, I was worried about the same thing this morning.’ Loki laughed, relieved.

‘You were?’ Sophie’s eyes widened in realisation.

‘I tend to get rather… Possessive over people I love. Clingy too. I was worried I was going to scare you away.’ Loki reached up and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, making her blush.

‘You… Love me?’

Loki faltered slightly, realising he’d let that word slip. Even though it was the truth. ‘Yes, I do.’ It was his turn for his cheeks to turn slightly red.

‘I love you too.’ Sophie whispered, making Loki smile.

Sophie and Loki were both on cloud nine after finally telling one another that they were in love. They made sure to tell each other every single opportunity they could. And most nights they fell asleep together, cuddled on the sofa in the living room or in the library.

Thor was over the moon for his brother. He’d never seen him so happy and in love before. It was clear how much Loki absolutely adored Sophie and vice versa. They were almost inseparable over the coming weeks.

They tried to train with Sophie, not only with her dagger and fighting skills but to try and get her powers under control. But she was struggling to make it happen. It happened, by accident a few times a week. One minute she was leaning against a wall, the next she was disappearing through it. Or she would be asleep in bed and then on the floor when she woke up.

The best one was once when Loki went to kiss her after teasing her about her height, but instead of kissing him she fell right through him. Which was a weird sensation for the both of them.

Pepper, Wanda and Natasha decided one Saturday night that Sophie needed a break from training. So they decided to take her out clubbing in the city. They were going to meet up with Jane, Darcy and Clint’s wife, Laura.

‘Are you sure it’s a good idea?’ Loki frowned while he watched Sophie straightening her hair, it was almost time for her to go with the girls.

‘I will be with one of the world’s most deadly assassins, an incredibly strong witch and some of the best scientists in the world. I’m sure I will be fine.’ Sophie grinned at him in the mirror, he was standing behind her, watching.

‘Oh, I do not doubt your safety in that aspect. But more so that Natasha is a bad influence on you when it comes to alcohol.’ Loki chuckled.

‘I know, but it will be fine.’ Sophie smiled.

Sophie was surprised with how much she enjoyed her night out with the girls. They were at the second club of the night, downing a bunch of shots and dancing around to club music.

They were talking about all the men and the conversation turned to Loki.

‘I still can’t get over how much Loki adores you, Sophie.’ Natasha said, hooking her arm around Sophie’s shoulder.

‘I guess I’m a lucky girl.’ Sophie shrugged, smiling.

Jane then spoke up. ‘Thor told me that he has never seen him so in love before. He’s so happy for you both, as we all are. But Thor really believes that Loki is turning a corner now.’

Sophie didn’t really know what to say to that, apart from blushing.

But Laura came to her defence. ‘Come on girls, we’re embarrassing her! She knows Loki loves her.’

Sophie gave her a smile as a silent way of thanking her. The conversation turned again to the other guys instead. But Sophie couldn’t deny how happy it made her feel inside, knowing that she was making a different to Loki’s life, just like he was for her.

Later on during the night, Sophie ended up with Natasha in the bathroom. They were fixing up their make-up.

‘Can I ask you something?’ Sophie asked Natasha.

‘Of course you can, chick. What’s up?’

‘I… I’m worried that Loki will lose interest in me. I mean, he’s not ever made a move on me yet. But I know that soon he will want sex. But I don’t know if and when I will be able to do that.’

Natasha stopped applying her lipstick and turned her full attention to the younger girl.

‘We weren’t lying when we said that he adores and loves you. Loki doesn’t seem the type to be after just one thing. We are surrounded by a great bunch of guys. I think if Loki was only interested in sex, you’d know about it by now. Why not talk to him about it? Are you nervous because it would be your first time?’

‘Well, not really that. I…’ Sophie sighed and looked down. ‘The one and only time a guy initiated sex with me, was because he was going to rape me.’ She blurted out quickly.

‘Oh, Sophie. I’m so sorry.’ Natasha’s face fell and she put her arm around her again.

‘It’s fine. Really. It was ages ago. But I just… I don’t know.’

‘Does Loki know?’

‘Yeah, I told him about it months ago.’ Sophie nodded.

‘Then I’m sure he already understands. But talk to him about it, see what his views are on the situation.’

‘Yeah, you’re right. I’m just being silly.’

‘Hey, you’re not being silly. You’ve been through a lot, it’s only natural.’ Natasha gave her an encouraging smile.

‘Thanks, Nat.’ Sophie smiled back at her and gave her a hug.

Loki had stayed up in the living room to wait for the girls returning. It was obvious when they had returned, as the noise they were making was enough to wake up the entire base.

He watched in amusement as they all stumbled through to the kitchen, hushing each other and trying to stay quiet but failing miserably. They had takeaway with them and all piled around the table to eat various kebabs, pakora, chips and pizza.

It always amazed Loki how much junk food they could all eat, yet still stay fit and healthy.

He crept up behind Sophie with no one noticing him. Until he put his hands onto her shoulders and whispered in her ear. ‘Welcome back, love.’

Sophie let out a screech in fright, making everyone else jump too.

‘Jesus! You scared me.’ Sophie put her hand over her heart.

‘Not Jesus, even better, God of mischief.’ Loki chuckled and pulled up a seat next to her, stealing some of her kebab meat.

‘How did you know we were back?’ She asked, frowning at him as he then stole some of her chips too.

‘You are all not exactly mice… More like elephants.’ Loki smirked, just as the rest of the team came through to see what all the noise was. All of their faces lit up when they saw the food.

The girls all growled and grumbled when the guys tried to steal their food. But in the end, it became a large feast with everyone around the table tucking in.

Even through her drunken haze, Sophie took in the scene. It was 2am and everyone was laughing and enjoying the food. She’d just had a great night out with the girls, her first time clubbing a great success. And she didn’t have any panic attacks. Now she had Loki’s arm around her waist as they shared food. She couldn’t believe how lucky she had become.

She was home.

[silverleafnightshade-blog]

The Eyes of Laura Mars

Released in 1978, The Eyes of Laura Mars is set in the glimmering yet gritty world of NYC haute couture fashion. Mad Magazine parodied the film as “The Eyes of Lurid Mess” and rightly so, for it definitely has plot issues and some grade-A-Virginia-ham overacting. However, director Irvin Kershner managed to capture a whiff of the cultural crossover as the NYC scene shifted from disco to punk. Often touted as the first American giallo film, The Eyes of Laura Mars tidily ticks off the boxes of the Italian genre: a mix of gorgeous and grimy settings, the gruesome murder of beautiful people, and many misdirections before the killer is finally revealed. Added to the mix is Ms. Virginia Ham herself (Faye Dunaway), a hairy Brad Dourif, and a preternaturally prehistoric Tommy Lee Jones. Dourif is only four years younger than TLJ in real life, but he looks like a bearded baby next to TLJ’s tire-treaded brow. Hell, TLJ is six years younger than Dunaway, but there’s not even a scratch of the cougar in their relationship.

Faye Dunaway of course plays the main character, a superstar high fashion photographer who begins to have disturbing visions of murder. Fun fact: the actual images of famous fashion photogs Rebecca Blake and the so-called “King of Kink” Helmut Newton were used in the film.

Speaking of kink, Barbra Streisand was offered the main role (it helped that she was dating producer Jon Peters at the time) but turned it down because she thought the film’s violent, sexual content was too out-there for her image.

The film opens with a murderous sequence, which turns out to be one of Laura’s nightmares. She awakens in her rather spare and severe bedroom,

and then wanders out to her living room, aka The Neutral Zone. Beige and brown rule the day, as does that giant rooster sculpture. From kitchen kitsch to highbrow decor? Huh. And oof, so. Much. Carpeting!

Laura flips through some negatives and tries to put the nightmare behind her. Soon, driver Tommy (Brad Dourif) is ferrying Laura off to the gala reception for a new publication of her photos. It looks like maybe the exterior was shot at one of the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s side doors. The interior looks somewhat Studio 54-inspired, though.

Hiiiiiiyyyyyeeee! I’m just a photograph, don’tcha worry.

Laura meets cute-ish with Detective John Neville (TLJ), as cute as can be when one’s publisher has been horribly murdered with an ice pick. Neville came for the questioning, but he stayed for the hors d’oeuvres, or rather, he looks a bit hungry for a Mars Bar. Laura goes home and rings up her bestie, who happens to be dating Laura’s ex-husband Michael (a very slimy yet somehow sexy Raul Julia). Everyone calms each other down, and soon enough, Laura heads off for a shoot at Columbus Circle. The concept is a bit S&M, models in lingerie and furs fighting in front of the husks of burning cars...

The concept was inspired by photog Chris von Wangenheim, and so fitting in front of what my father once called “The Devil’s Arsehole” (don’t feel special, C.C., he said that about every Washington D.C. roundabout too). The intersection didn’t get the moniker until 1892, the 400th anniversary of Columbus’s “discovery” of the New World, when a giant statue of the old man was erected. From the invention of the car on, Columbus Circle was considered a hazardous spot for pedestrians. Given the circle’s bad rap for most of the 20th century, it seems quaint to remember that Olmsted intentionally designed the traffic circle as the grand entrance to Central Park in 1857. By 1978, Columbus Circle was “roundly” (oh ho ho) derided as a dangerous thoroughfare. In 1979, architecture critic Paul Goldberger said that the intersection was "a chaotic jumble of streets that can be crossed in about 50 different ways—all of them wrong." A redesign of the circle’s aesthetics and traffic flow began in 1991, and by the Naughty-Aughties, Columbus Circle had even won a few awards for landscape architecture and urban design.

Neville shows up again at Laura’s set at Chelsea Piers. This is my favorite set in the movie, with the fabulous Sterling St. Jacques dancing around and a lot of blown-out color and drama going on.

It’s also one of our last scenes with poor Lulu and Michelle, alas. I actually quite like both of their characters, so silly and yet so sassy. They have the best outgoing answering machine message, and it made me feel so nostalgic for both answering machines, answering machine messages, and that kind of close relationship you’d have with a roommate. That is the kind of relationship that can only be built after hearing all your messages, and knowing all your secrets, unvarnished and unedited by a brunch re-telling. Sigh.

Laura’s studio is amazing - it’s enormous with tons of old windows, stunning harbor views, and some convenient soft spots that are perfect for sexy times with Neville.

Donald (René motherfucking Murat Auberjonois) is such a great character. He’s Laura’s long-suffering agent, and although at times walking the stereotypical line, he is quite comfortably un-closeted. Whenever someone tries to throw homophobic shade his way, he shines a light right up their asses. I do not love the character’s decor choices, though - a bit too Italianate for me, although who can resist a red damask wallpaper and this goddamn face? Not me, friends.

Speaking of Italian classics, Frank Adonis makes an appearance as Sal, Neville’s slightly unhinged partner. I like this shot of him surveying Laura’s apartment with a “mmm, not bad,” expression.

Frank just shuffled off this mortal coil in late 2018, R.I.P. Weird fact: although he’s the Italian guy you recognize from everything, his Wiki page is in French.

SPOILERS, sort of: Neville goes to see Tommy at his spectacularly depressing apartment, and the visit quickly takes a turn for the worse. Tommy stabs a patrolman while escaping arrest, but the Sal the psycho just opens fire on what appears to be the entire East Village, and Tommy est la morte. Neville rings up Laura to tell her the killer has been caught, and pack your bag, baybeee, they are going away! Laura begins to select some careful neutrals to coordinate with the lady Derringer gifted by Neville, when she is suddenly struck by another vision.

Poor Michael gets ‘picked in the elevator of Laura’s building, and the killer is en route to her apartment! Laura manages to lock the front door just in time. Neville soon comes crashing through the balcony window, and this is where the ending gets super giallo: as he begins babbling about Tommy’s terrible upbringing, Neville accidentally reveals that it is he, Neville, who is the killer. But it’s not really Neville! No, it’s his other personality that did the killing. That personality is also apparently responsible for how nicely Neville fills out a black turtleneck, as well as for finishing Neville’s dissertation and keeping the bills paid. The real Neville struggles back to the surface; to protect his true love, he basically shoots himself using Laura’s gun (and trigger finger, as she is holding said gun at the time). The final shot is of Laura calling the cops, and her final line? “I’m Laura Mars.” If there is any shred of happy ending to this story, it might be that she has to rip out that fucking bloodstained carpet. Maybe there’s a nice parquet floor under there? I know that hating on carpeting is low-pile fruit, but there is just no way for mere mortals to keep wall-to-wall carpeting from getting disgusting.

Interesting fact: John Carpenter wrote the spec script for this film, but Kershner’s finished product took some hot turns in the rewrite. Carpenter was still credited despite his protests, but luckily the mixed reviews didn’t affect the success of his next project, Halloween. It’s been nice to revisit some giallo, although I think I’m going to go back to the real-deal Italian giallo next month. I might also be leaving this platform, as sad as that makes me. Tumblr has been doing some bullshit flagging of posts that are very LGBTQ-unfriendly, and well, they are also buggy as hell. I had this post written a week ago but the site kept crashing as I was trying to update. At any rate, stay tuned for any updates, or as I likely know all three of you reading this, I’ll let you know if there’s a new site.