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gwemmieee · 10 months

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I need to vent about something. I'm angry at the world because I've been treated poorly, and I don't know what to do about it.

I've been through a lot in my 3 decades on this planet so far. I've seen a lot. I've learned a lot. I've grown a lot.

Despite that, many things are still brand new to me. Like truly loving myself properly. And actually being close with good people who truly care about me, who won't abandon me when it becomes inconvenient to hold on. And living in a safe space, where my house and my community and my workplace treat me like a human being.

The newest phenomenon in my life these days is the fact that I don't have to completely do everything on my own. My roommates still have to stop me from jumping into dangerous tasks, and remind me that I don't have to do them myself. I still cry every time, as they help me or do it for me.

I spent most of my life buried under mountains of physical and mental disabilities (which still make everything harder to this day, and will for the rest of my life), gender dysphoria, and trauma, that I spent most of my life having no psychological tools to consciously comprehend, and suppressing it all as much as possible just to survive. Not to mention all the misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism coming at me from the world. And I had no support save for one very good, but still somewhat distant, friend, who didn't even enter my life until high school.

I spent a lot of time in hell, and I spent all of that time keeping my good person gauge up at its maximum level. I spent 100% of the time making every healthy choice that I understood how to make and being as kind and understanding and forgiving with everyone as I could possibly be. Unfortunately, it was hell, and I was a child with no support, so by most people's standards, the limit of that good person gauge was quite low. The lessons I had to learn from scratch were quite basic, and part of what most consider common sense. Looking back, there were a lot of ways I was shitty to that one friend, that I didn't have the tools to understand, and that's probably part of why they were somewhat distant. (It has a happy ending, though--I learned to be better to them and now they're my found sibling, but due to circumstances and different life paths we don't even live in the same state anymore.)

Finally now, though, I have love, acceptance, and safety, and I'm truly not alone, even within my own home. I'm genuinely grateful. It's beautiful, and it's wonderful, and it's healing, and it's food for my starved soul.

And it's basic shit that most people are born into as babies.

Everyone who's ever had parents (biological or surrogate) who didn't disown them or treat them like property to manipulate. Everyone who's ever had a best friend who stuck with them close, ride or die. Everyone who, like me, had neither of those things growing up, but at least they weren't disabled or marginalized like me, so they were able to actually take care of themselves and get to a point where they had love much sooner than fucking 30--I suspect that last category describes most white cishet male boomers.

I'm led to believe, so far, that most people are at least one of these.

And I can't help but notice that most people like me, who've been through what I have, are already fucking dead*. They didn't even make it to 30. Nobody helped them and they weren't lucky enough to find the right footing on their climb out of that birthing hole. Many of those who are still alive, still have much smaller good person gauges than I do, and some of them have hurt me badly enough that I had to give up on them. And every last one of them is white, because people who are otherwise like me, but of color, are still almost always unable to even survive with how bad this world is. Very few of those like me, though, have lasted as long as me and come out still good, and they're my favorite people on the whole planet.

The happier I get about my own life and where it's led me, the angrier I get about the hand I was dealt and how much it took to get here. If your biggest problem is that you're poor and you're jealous of people born into financial wealth, you're on easy mode. I actually also have a lifelong poor, hate-the-rich complex of my own on top of all this other shit, because yeah, I wasn't even born into money. I had nothing.

I climbed out of that by being the goodest little girl I could possibly be. I learned to say yes to everything and work hard, to please everyone, and to give everyone every chance to be better to me than anyone had been before. This exposed me to a lot of abuse, and harassment. And I ate it up. Because most of the time, I was still being treated better than I ever had before. Even by psychopathic abusers.

I had to do it that way because I needed a lot of physical and mental assistance just to survive, and I had to accept what I could get from who I could get it from, even if they used that power to control me and extract nonconsensual pleasure from me. And I had to give them the chance to be better, because eventually, a few of them proved to be good enough to help me grow, and get stronger, and climb further out of the hole.

Very recently, as I take the final steps out of hell and into safety and self-love, I've had to learn to *not* always give abusers the chance to get closer to me and abuse me. I've had the opportunity to finally say no and advocate for myself, and not end up all alone for it.

And as I reflect on my past, and lose plenty of people I once thought of as my closest friends and family, who I once *needed* in my life just to keep moving, I'm learning that some people are actually just bad. Like, they have chances to be better to others, to learn and grow, and they just don't, and they take the easy way out and either try to pressure and control others to serve them, or make a habit of abandoning anyone who gets too close as part of their self-isolating approach to handling themselves.

Many of those people were once the only family and friends I had ever known.

And as I now reach a point where I'm able to start helping younger people going through what I've been through, I'm learning that it's healthiest to keep a certain distance. I can't actually know for sure which of them are always going to make the choice to grow, and which of them are eventually going to pick a place to stop and dig a new hole and stagnate, and hurt everyone close to them in the process, which also renders them unable to receive any more help from me. On top of that, I'm still processing my own shit, and so when I get too close to them, and address that same shit, it's hard for me not to be harsh or in a rush with them in ways that I know are wrong and bad for their growth. So a certain amount of emotional distance is necessary. It's the same lesson that actual therapists have to learn to handle their jobs properly.

But that's so lonely.

And I see the people older and wiser than me, who continue to help me, do the same thing with me. And part of me wants to be angry with them, or demand more help and more closeness, but I know that's wrong. I know they're actually saints, and they're doing this out of the goodness of their hearts to help me because they see potential in me to become someone they would love to see having a happy, healthy time and making the world a better place. I know that they're as close and as helpful with me as they can afford to be, both financially and emotionally. I know that they can't know for sure whether I'm as good as I know I am, and I know that they're making sure to protect themselves from committing too much self-sacrifice, and I know that's the healthy choice to make and I'm glad they're making it.

But it's lonely.

It breaks my heart.

I know that someday, I will be close with even more even better people, and I will be deeply happy and grateful, and I will be empowered to truly help a lot more people and make the world a better place for everyone including myself. I know that I'm good enough to reach that point.

But I also know that it's going to take even more time. And even more effort. And it's not fair.

It's not fair that by pure chance, pure luck of birth, I had to grow up with a bunch of monsters and find my own way out, and it's not fair that I also have to prove on other people's terms that I'm not one of those monsters, just to be where I deserve to be. And it's not fair that that entire process will likely end up having taken almost half my entire lifespan, and that's assuming I can stay physically healthy and not die until natural causes. The actual life expectancy of people like me is basically the entire time I will have spent climbing out of hell, or perhaps even younger than that. We're talking like mid-30s maybe, if that. And I feel it. I feel old, I feel wise, I feel like a sage whose highest purpose now is to protect the young ones. I feel it in my bones. I literally already have arthritis. But I want and deserve my own fun life with good people, the life I've been dreaming of this whole time, so I will fight to have it and to keep it.

But that's not good enough. None of this is good enough. None of this is fair. I need to know how to make this better for those who come after me. I need to know how to solve this problem, how to pick out the good people out of hell and save them sooner so that they don't have to claw themselves out (and usually die trying). Because they are so good. And they are so real. And they deserve as much love as I have for myself, and even more care and acceptance than I have right now.

I'm gonna have to think about this one for a long time. Maybe I should go back to school for a psych degree. I simply don't understand how to fix this yet. And that makes me so, so angry.

*The way that I can tell most of them didn't survive, is that there's a huge gap. Zoomers who are just like me but at least a few years younger are actually not that hard to find, and many of them are close friends. Once you hit 25 and up, though, it's a fucking ghost town out here, and most of us are terminally online from physically isolated spaces. I'm able to conclude that they didn't make it because *I* almost didn't make it dozens of times. I very much am a survivor on the same level as any traumatized war veteran. And I have a lot of concrete reasons as to why, that apply to my immediate generation much much more than they could ever apply to anyone a few years younger. Cultural shifts and practices. For example, that era in the mid and late 00s when every big popular movie was a comedy, and every comedy made it a point to treat trans and disabled people like subhumans to laugh at, beat up, and even kill (a lot of these live-action movies turned deadly things like ramming someone with a car into cartoon slapstick). Guess what I was doing in the mid and late 00s? Why, being adolescent and impressionable and desperate to fit in and find my place, of course. The culture at the time, that enjoyed movies like that, made it clear to me that I had to hide everything about who I was, even to myself, or else I'd end up dead.

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lassieposting · 2 years

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i have fallen into trash ships hell because of you and i have. so many questions

do skug and serpine ever come to realise their own feelings? does serpine figure out that skug is vile somehow? and how would that work out with the recent canon (not your thing, ik ik) now that ghastly is back?

Ohohohohoho welcome to the dumpster have a cookie and a t-shirt

So, in my headcanon, Serpine already knows Skug is Vile. He's known for like. A century. It's common knowledge in Mevolent's inner circle.

Because, like. In Nef's dimension, Vile's with Mevolent - he was the shiny new toy Mev dropped Nef for. And Vile's been with Mevolent for a really long time. Eventually, he became confident enough in that relationship to not always wear head-to-toe armor. So like. Nef, alt!Vengeous, the alt!Diablerie...they all know. They've seen him. They've heard him talk without the helmet warping his voice. He's. Very clearly the same person.

But he hasn't said anything - not even to Skug. That's his insurance policy.

See, Nefarian Serpine is a schemer. That's his whole thing. He plans things way in advance and has contingency plans for his contingency plans. And he didn't like the whole concept of the assassination mission, because it puts him in a dangerous situation with multiple threats to his life and too many unpredictable variables to plan for everything. But the one thing he thought he could count on was that someone - most likely Skug, but also possibly Saracen or Vex, would try to kill him out there - and he can't take any of them in a fair fight. He knows Skug's own side would have executed him for war crimes if his being Vile was common knowledge. So that's his safety net, in a precarious situation - "If you come at me I'm going to scream that you were Lord Vile and your friends will start asking questions."

But. Then he didn't need it. Skug didn't try to kill him, and stopped a few other people trying it, too. And the assassination attempt he was expecting after returning to Roarhaven came to nothing. So he held onto that secret.

Eventually it becomes almost an affectionate thing. He likes that he knows one of Skug's deepest darkest secrets. He likes that he knows something about Skug that almost nobody else is aware of - it plays into his obsessive tendencies: I know him better than you ever will.

As for realising their feelings...ehh. Neither of them is mentally healthy in the first place - Skug has been abused in almost every relationship he's ever had, and Serpine thinks all-consuming obsession and possessiveness = love. They don't exactly have a great understanding of what their feelings even are once they move past "passionate hatred".

Alt!Nef is a lot more sane than his og!verse counterpart. He's more likeable and less sadistic. He's clearly capable of empathy, and he makes multiple attempts to reach out to the others and form connections during the Leibniz mission. But Skulpine is always going to be some level of dysfunctional, because of their traumatic shared history.

They definitely both get to the point where they will admit, if asked, that they're not exactly enemies anymore. But while Nef - who's got relatively little Skug-related trauma - would eventually admit that he's fond of Skug, Skug - who has a huge amount of Nef-related trauma - would probably only get as far as, "I tolerate him."

They'd be that couple where everyone knows they're a thing before they do. They could be years into being casual-but-essentially-monogamous and Skug would still be claiming that he's only taking Nef to [obvious date night activity] because most of his friends are dead and "no one else he spends time with has any appreciation for the finer things in life."

Yes, they meet up sometimes for angry hate sex. Yes, he's technically paying Nefarian's rent. No, that doesn't mean he enjoys his company. The man is insufferable. Skug is still salty China foisted responsibility for Serpine on him.

But he's still taking him to the opera bye

#skulduggery pleasant #skulpine

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phantaloon-books · 4 years

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(some) Riordanverse characters (bc I never read TKC) and which Hogwarts House I think they would be in

Warning: this is a long one

Nico: the dude is definitely Gryffindor without a doubt. Like Sorting isn't about some traits and some characteristics, it's about core personality. He may have gone through some of the roughest stuff when he was 10-12, and he was resentful and bitter, but he was brave and bold af throughout everything he did. From learning about his powers, to using them relentlessly despite knowing how exhausted he is afterwards, to his willingness to do whatever is necessary to do what has to be done, because it has to be done. You can't change my mind that he's Gryffindor lol.

Grover: Do I even need to explain why he's Gryffindor? He's a satyr, and even if we're shown strong satyrs, they're not really supposed to be brave fighters. Yet he is one of the strongest, bravest nature spirits we've ever encountered in the Riordanverse, and one of the bravest in general. Like he's so passionate about doing what is good, he's a hero, and the only thing he doesn't match with common Gryffindors is that he's humble and as far from arrogant as could be possible, but it doesn't take his courage away.

Hazel: She's Gryffindor, and core personality-wise, she and Nico are very much alike. They don't ever think about themselves, like Hazel really always does what has to be done, no matter the cost, I mean she literally died preventing Gaea to rise the first time, and she freed Thanatos while believing he would take her back to the Underworld. She's brave af, and she has one of the most strong willpower we've seen in the Riordanverse. She's a passionate hero, and she's the closest thing to a real knight in shining armor.

Lester: I'm gonna place him in Gryffindor because I don't think he fits in in the other houses lmao. That said, as Apollo he's very shitty, but as Lester, he's one of the most courageous people. He's grown so much, he's so willing to actually do stuff now, and sacrifice everything to do what's right, including his life, even if he doesn't know he's gonna survive. Hell, he really went most of TTT with an incredibly painful wound that nearly turned him undead, and he cared more for the future of Camp Jupiter than his own life. Additionally, he's a bit arrogant and cocky, but he truly means well, I love Lester so much.

Clarisse: Look look, all I have to say is that no one could have pulled off less than half the stuff Clarisse has done, she's so Gryffindor it hurts. She's reckless and impulsive, but she's driven by her passion to do good, even if she's the daughter of war, and was bullied by her own father. She's daring, she's bold and she is the hero. She's also arrogant and thinks she can solve everything by herself, something characteristic more of the canon Gryffindors in the books, rather than what the fans have shaped. In fact, she's very much like Gryffindors in the books, who are actually very rude to other houses and think they're the best. Still, at heart, she's in this house.

Alex: I'm in a huge dilemma about where to put them, but I reckon they'd fit pretty fine in Gryffindor. Not only are they daring and courageous, they're proud of who they are, but not in a too full of themselves kind of way, rather in a 'I am who I am, and if you can't accept me, fuck off' kind of way. They can get carried away rather easily though, and very arrogant, thinking they don't need anyone else, when they do in fact need some company. They are one of the kindest and at the same time most ambitious characters we've met, but they are brave beyond understanding in a very personal way, thus, Gryffindor.

Percy: I think it's fair to say he'd be Hufflepuff, because loyalty is literally his fucking fatal flaw, and he is the kindest sweetheart to all those who deserve it, he goes out of his way to help those who need help, whether that be mortals, halfbloods, gods, magical creatures or even his own enemies. He's too good for this world, and even if he's grown a bit bitter, he always looks to fight justly for what is right, and never loses faith in others. That, and the fact that he turned down immortality so that the olympians were more inclusive of minor gods, and their children were treated better. He's just a lovely soul, he's like 80% Hufflepuff so that's enough for me. All that and he's stubborn as hell.

Jason: Hufflepuff. Just, undoubtedly Hufflepuff. Like he seems to be this cold and self centered hero with a superiority complex (bc of all the son of Jupiter stuff) but he's the softest guy there is. Not only is he hardworking, open minded and kind, he appreciates justice but he doesn't seek for revenge or anything, he makes sure people are treated fairly and wants everyone to be accepted. Proof of that is how he continued Percy's job of including more gods, and made sure Nico felt comfortable with who he was. He truly has a heart of gold. (He deserved better btw)

Meg: God I can't decide between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, but I think I'll go with the former. She's so strong, my baby, she's faced so much wrong, but she's still so kind and understanding of others, especially those who deserve kindness. She puts up such a hard facade, but she's so patient and warm and inclusive. She's brave and strong (as strong as the big three kids, if not stronger), but she's also so loyal to her beliefs despite how she was forced someone else's beliefs for years, so I'll keep her in Hufflepuff. Also, she's stubborn af, and she can be lazy, so that settles it.

Will: I KNOW some people will say Will could be in other houses that are not Hufflepuff, BUT I won't have it any other way. Will is literally the warmest person ever. He is kind and sympathetic and enthusiastic and patient and inclusive. Like Helga Hufflepuff would take one look at him and lose her shit screaming "mine". He's the guy who saw the son of Hades so many people were scared of and immediately grabbed his hand and transfered him some warmth and didn't let him go ahead and get himself killed. He's also the one who everyone loves and likes, so much that Clarisse gets along with him and he can calm her down. He's the ideal Hufflepuff, you can't change my mind.

Magnus: I mean, what else can you expect from the son of the god of summer? He's literally a guy who heals others with warmth. He's also the guy who spent years on the street with the most difficult situations, and accepts every single person the way they are. He's inclusive af, and tolerant of everything. He's the guy who's closest include a deaf elf, a Muslim valkyrie, and a black dwarf, and he's dating a genderfluid person. Yes he's brave, and he's kinda smart, and he's ambitious, BUT none of those qualities overpower his Hufflepuff nature.

Piper: Kinda debated whether Gryffindor or Ravenclaw fits more, but in the end I went with Ravenclaw. Even though she isn't a fighter, she's very very brave, yet her bravery isn't compared to her wits. Like others in the PJOverse, she wins her fights by outsmarting her opponents, but unlike others that's one of her strongest traits. She's witty and creative and a little on the negative side, she really struggled to work in a group rather than by herself. On another note, she's able to keep calm in crazy situations and come up with the craziest most unthinkable solutions (I'm talking borderline ridiculous) that always somehow work. She's not booksmart, but she knows so much about everything, and she's lifesmart you know?

Reyna: Why are some of these so hard? Deeply debating whether she'd be Ravenclaw or Slytherin. In the end I'd go more for Ravenclaw though. Reyna's smart as hell, she's strong and sharp, and she always sees the best way out of a situation. She's witty and observant, being able to keep her cool in battle and lead others in the best direction. She's always looking to grow, and she prefers to do things on her own, but she's a great leader. She has some Slytherin qualities, and she's not learning as learning oriented as others, but she's definitely Ravenclaw.

Sam: Let's face it, Sam has the only active neurons in all of MCGA, she's definitely Ravenclaw. I'm gonna be honest though, I've only read MCGA once, so I can't remember much of their personalities, but Sam is witty and clever, pretty much the only one who can come up with competent plans, while the others rely mostly on luck and whatever plan they can cook up in 5 seconds. She's loyal and true to who she is, and she's extremely courageous and proud of who she is, but her sharpness is what she stands out for me, which is why I put her in Ravenclaw.

Annabeth: I know the obvious option is Ravenclaw, but I genuinely think she's also Slytherin. Yes she is booksmart and wise like Ravenclaw, but her personality matches Slytherins' ambitious, cunning and resourceful nature. She's smart as fuck, but she's calculative, she always finds a way to end up winning, and while she does so by outsmarting her opponents, she wouldn't need to outsmart them if she weren't so competitive. I feel like there's this 40/60 odds on Slytherin rather than Ravenclaw, but it's that small difference that counts. Plus her leadership skills are so powerful that people don't ask, they just know she's the boss.

(Also just picture the sweet and loyal Hufflepuff boy with the strong and cunning Slytherin girl, like it should be as opposite as it is with Poseidon and Athena, but they're so cute)

Leo: Idk what you can expect that's not Slytherin. This boy is the embodiment of ambition and determination. Reminder that not all Slytherins are bad btw (I'm slytherin myself), but like he's life smart and cunning, and he can analyze situations faster than anyone else. He's charismatic and talented, and there's no one to stop him from triumphing. I don't have much to say, I just know he'd be in Slytherin.

Rachel: She's kinda a difficult one, and I struggle between Gryffindor and Slytherin, and tbh I'm still not sure. But I think I'd place her in Slytherin, because even if she's brave af (especially since she was a mortal fighting in a war out of her power), her main trait is her determination. When she's set on something, she gets it done. You can't tell her she can't do something, because she will find a way to do it. She's kind, and she's only a mortal, but she still has incredible power unlike any other. I don't think I can really name it, but I think she'd be put on Slytherin with much difficulty from the Sorting Hat.

Luke: Where else could Luke possibly go? On the meaner side Slytherins have created themselves, Luke would be part of those misled by who preceded them, by those who want to take advantage of their mistreatment (bc let's face it, Slytherins are mistreated by both students and Hogwarts staff), and turn them cold and bitter. Luke is ambitious and manipulative, being manipulated himself, and it comes easily because of his natural charisma and talent. He's very freaking determined and cunning too. He'd fit right into Slytherin, but he'd be viewed as one of the rotten lot.

Thalia: I don't have much to say about this, but Thalia is the girl whose fatal flaw is their desire for power (or smth along those lines), just like most Slytherins. She's ambitious, she's smart, she's truly talented, she stands out between the rest, and she knows it, and she actually kinda likes it.

(Also I put Annabeth, Thalia and Luke in the same house because they're all kinda similar, even if their beliefs and postures are different.

Frank: Ngl I'm having more difficulty with Frank than anyone else. I'm kinda torn between Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. I literally can't choose. He'd fit perfectly in any of them lmao, I just can't decide where he'd go. You decide this one yourself.

Please keep in mind, this is my personal opinion and my take on the characters, and not all of you will agree, and that's fine! You can let me know what you think (kindly please, don't come at me), and if you want to, send me an ask on a character you want me to do the same as these (as long as it's not TKC, I'M SORRY I haven't read those) go ahead, don't be shy!

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duckie-baby · 4 years

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let's talk about s02e08: the sins of the father.

let's talk about how this could've been a pivotal point in arthur's character arc, if the writers of this show weren't fucking cowards.

let's talk about how it was completely unfair on merlin's part to lie to arthur, because arthur deserved the truth goddamnit and it wasn't merlin's place to take that away from him.

of course, this is later justified by merlin saying that he knows arthur and that he wouldn't be able to live with himself or the guilt of it if he had gone ahead and killed his father. and of course, like every other potentially life-changing event, all of this is never mentioned by the show again.

magic is damned even further in arthur's eyes, uth*r threatens everyone who knows the truth into silence, vaguely implies that he's totally chill with his son fucking his manservant as long as they're all of the same anti-magic ideals, the episode ends in all smiles.

but whew! at least arthur's been protected from the harsher sides of reality, once again! god forbid this character gains any sense of self-awareness!

my point is, if all of this was to keep arthur from killing daddykins bc it would weigh on his delicate conscience, to preserve the Goodness Of His Character As A Man And King, why the fuck should merlin have to lie to him about it?

consider, instead of:

Morgause is lying! She's an enchantress. She tricked you. That was not your mother you saw. That was an illusion. Everything...everything your mother said to you...those were Morgause's words.

we could have had something along the lines of:

What your father did was wrong, Arthur, but is this man the man you want to be? The king you want to be? Would you be able to ascend the throne even as your father's blood glistens, still fresh, on your sword? Would you be able to live with yourself if you made this decision?

if he kills his darling father anyway, honestly, Good For Him. he has every right to. uth*r went through with a dangerous spell despite knowing the risks, then commited genocide in its name whilst lying about his reason as to why.

uth*r has commited genocide.

he is not a good king or father either, as proven several times throughout the show. he deserves no mercy, no pity.

but the choice should've been arthur's to make. this scene should've been a testament to arthur's character.

if he kills daddy dearest anyways but then feels Super Guilty about it later, we know he wouldn't have made a good king. you can't head a country when you're prone to making drastic decisions without thinking them through bc you were throwing pissy fit at the time.

so if he still goes through with it, he must not been shown to regret it.

but say he does let uth*r live. maybe for whatever love remains for the man who raised him. but he renounces him as his king, as his father.

arthur starts publicly going against his policies and decisions. bc if uth*r could have been so wrong about this alone, what else is he wrong about? arthur refuses to carry out his orders if he believes it’s against the interests of the people.

raising taxes? how about No. oh, he can’t knight commoners? just Try and stop him. he learns to trust in the counsel of merlin, gwen, morgana, people who we know interact direct directly with the citizens of camelot and want what’s best for them; builds his own circle. he routinely breaks out prisoners from the dungeons he believe have been punished unjustly.

especially the people who use magic. he openly speaks out against his father and his persecution of it.

uth*r can try and stop him, alright. but there is a clear rift in the kingdom now, two distinct factions. those who believe in the king that arthur will be, and those who believe their loyalty is still to the current monarch.

and look at these people, from the execution scene from s01e01:

look at their faces (and also hnfvbdjh colin morgan and his obscene fucking cheekbones jesus christ). they don't seem to appreciate uth*r saving them from the evils of magic much. how many of them have lost their friends and family to his crusade? how many of them remember a time when magic was still allowed in camelot and the kingdom flourished?

these people will stand with arthur pendragon.

yeah. the ones who still believe in uth*r’s authority are few and far in between. and they know where they can shove it.

arthur learns. about magic, about its history, the old religion. merlin finally reveals his magic to him, so does morgana. he goes to the druids and he falls to his knees and he begs for their forgiveness. morgause begrudgingly allies herself with him, seeing his determination to right his father’s mistakes. he still struggles with the little boy within him who just wants his only parent’s approval, sometimes. but he is slowly but surely becoming his own man.

arthur becomes king long before he takes the throne. uth*r is forced to watch, a meaningless figurehead, as everything he worked to achieve comes undone at the hands of his own son. no attempts to make the viewers sympathise with him. he is angry and miserable and wasting away and there is nothing he can do about it; and it’s exactly what he fucking deserves.

and merlin? merlin finally realises kilgharrah’s word isn’t gospel. morgana is redeemed before she ever loses herself. but they must learn to trust each other again, bc merlin left her to face her fear and self-loathing alone when she needed someone more than ever (you might be cute, merlin, but not enough to get away with THAT). he finds himself taking young sorcerers who don’t know how to control their power under his wing (gilli, daegal, oh god the endless opportunities here), including mordred. MORGAUSE TEACHING MERLIN AND MORGANA MAGIC.

he and arthur are equals now, partners in destiny; the world is theirs.

and for the love of god, give me villains whose entire personality and motivations don’t boil down to I Hate Uth*r Pendragon And Also His Son.

give me kings who are afraid of camelot’s growing power, give me bandits and slave traders who realise they have no place in arthur and merlin’s albion. give me uth*r apologists scrambling to maintain their position in court, hell, give me anarchist organisations if that’s what it takes to spice things up a little.

give me the golden age of albion we were promised.

of course, all of this requires characters acknowledging and growing from their mistakes, and making their actions have lasting consequences — so i suppose it really is a bit too much to ask of the writers.

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ghoulishhusband · 3 years

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I just realized I can actually talk here. Like this is my account fuck u

Fucking uhhhhhh, hi ig lemme ramble abt my God ocs yea?

Ignore this part if you don't wanna hear (likely) unedited rambles lol it doesn't matter

CW: neglect/abuse, assholery/narcissism, manipulation, tread lightly!

read the under cut owo

Also don't steal my art I'll fucking?? Fight you????

I have three main gods that I wanna talk abt especially bc they've been on my mind lately.. Less get it, side notes are in (parentheses) and are bolded cause I have perception issues whoo I don't want it to jumble together is my point lol

First up is my asshole,

Giodine

they/them (preferred)

god/godself (i like pronouns that fit my characters, so I'm giving a bunch away for one night only at--)

ID : Giodine is colored with gold-ish yellow skin and ginger hair. Their eyes are a muted purple and they have tiny eyebrows. Their lips are a muted brown and are full looking, their nose is sharp and points down. They have wings for ears and is wearing a blazer with a long-sleeved, collared shirt underneath it. The background is beige with a yellow square and a dark purple square partially encompassing it. It is signed GH (for ghoulish husband), Spork, 21.

(lemme know if that helps at all! I'm sure I can do better so lemme know!)

If they look weird here it's bc I accidentally made their face too long but believe it or not this is in fact just a doodle Ik I'm so fuckin talented babes.

Anyways, they're basically the first God to ever exist on my version of earth (though even that is fickle rn, world-building is hard unless I hyper-focus on it, and haha Guess What I Haven't Been Thinking About) and they're very egotistical and selfish. As I'll probably yap about later is how they're manipulative as well, especially to another God I'll mention, and very neglectful to the other... other one.

Their partner(professionally), or fiend as they call him, is sam who for the first few eons was, unsurprisingly, absolutely terrible to him. A few tender moments are few and far in between in what could only be described as a completely rancid relationship. I'll describe giodine's side and in sam's lil ramble, I'll describe his :]

I have to explain this because it's a big part of the lore and how they can't work together, even when one of them is very much near The Void (technical death for gods) BUT basically, with Sam, giodine created purgatory. The issue here is that they basically seduced sam into doing it. Well, even if they hadn't, sam was in lesbians(happy pride month lmao) with giodine and would've done it anyway. But the ISSUE is that with the creation of purgatory came complications. See, my gods have to take time to develop into their power, and considering giodine was first and sam was around 666th.. you see the issue. Sam wasn't into his complete power yet and thus lost a giant part of it that went into purg.

See, giodine saw no problem with this (until much later, they do get a VERY SLOW BURN redemption arc cause this ain't even the worst of it), they got what they were aching for out of them and thusly had no need for..sam. They laid him in the spot where she was made (fwi it isn't inherently sexual, it can be, but literally, they just merged together-- taking bits and pieces of each other (which sam did not have enough of) and earth and light yadda, yadda I'll post the story I wrote for that later if I'm up to it) and left him there in the grass.

Again, they saw no problem with that, the deed was done, they didn't care anymore. A common issue in their qualms, sam and Giodine. They did find an issue in Sam finding an issue in the lack of aftercare, which resorted to any message going to or coming from sam going straight to his assistant and going back through them for a couple of thousand years. They found that infuriating-- how could he not face them over something so small! and for years?! it was ridiculous. After forcing a face-to-face meeting, a heated proclaim of hurt from sam, and a bitter agreement to meet up every now and again, they got what they wanted from him. Again. It was a business after all, there was no point in making it harder than it needed to be.

Giodine doesn't necessarily like boundaries and tends to overstep sam's frequently. They also don't like his reaction to his boundaries being long jumped over, which thusly ends up in disgruntled messages being sent back and forth between them and his assistant for a month or three. It slowly gets through to them, but they tend to say some stupid shit and if they want sam to stay, they have to try and avoid mentioning how "overly sensitive" he is to something that happened eons ago.

(quick mention, there isn't like. time. here. so in all honesty, giodine probably counted earth days instead of Heaven 'days' to get that) Soon into their arrangements to meet, they seem to get on at least tolerable terms, obviously, a few meetings where neither of them feels like going apeshit and taking proper shapeless (or in sams case, he's got a newfound form for ANGER OO just for giodine 🤗) forms isn't going to fix a grudge that has yet to be apologized for by the way. But it's a start to a very long process down the road. Tolerance.

Giodine as an entity is very fickle and rude and demanding. They tend to have a short temper that no one else is allowed to have or comment on-- They were the first therefore they were the most important!

This is very obviously an issue. But it's mostly directed to purgatory. Almost all of their seething rage is pointed towards the poor entity, she's barely been alive yet and they already seem to hate her for things she doesn't know how to do. Honestly, I don't think Purg will ever fully forgive them for the unnecessary abuse of her character, but just as Sam and Giodine get on better terms, they had barely just begun fixing the hole in their relationship. As of now, Sam/Giodine don't have any minor plot points with purgatory other than the major one so I don't have a lot to say about their relationship right now. Maybe one day.

I'd go into details, seriously, but I just wanna ramble about their relationships with each other and their impact on each other's existence. Hope you don't mind a few secrets 😉

But, now, it's time for a new God, one I think most people take a liking to...

Sam (Samuel)

He/him

ID: Sam is surrounded by clouds in the light blue, fading to a darker blue sky and the yellow sun. His horns are a darker beige, which is being highlighted by the sun shining down on him, he also has pointed ears. His skin is red which is very prominent in the sun. His eyes are completely yellow, his hair, beard and mustache are also black. He has an orange scar crawling up to his Adams apple. His wings are a darker grey which is also being highlighted by the sun. His nails are painted black and his hand is holding up the black fabric barely covering his shoulders. Around the painting is a gold and red shaded frame with swirls complimenting each side and a crystal at the bottom of it. It is lightly signed GH, for ghoulish husband.

Sam, Sam, Samuel.

If you don't realize right away, Sam is basically Satan, he's the ruler of hell

Like how giodine was the first to appear on earth, as mentioned before sam was 666th for funnie reasons. Sam was made from bugs, dried blood, and sunlight which sounds pretty gross, but he's far from it. He's a silly, yet neat, guy. He wears Hawaiian shirts and khakis (not around giodine lmao) for cryin' out loud! how bad of a person can he be? Apparently to giodine (for a while obviously) he was the most retched entity to exist. This very much hurt him considering the amount of fake care they showed him before. With a mixture of confusing feelings (which wasn't supposed to be a thing but Univerce went "lmao you'll be fine" and left... short explanation, Univerce is the Universe and is the entity who simply builds these planets and gods that'll appear there and leave them to their own devices, xyr not extremely important in this story. Nor would they care.) and feeling used, he decided that no he wasn't going to take that.

If there is one thing Sam knows how to do is to self preserve himself, even if that means getting passive-aggressive notes sent to him every once in a while. While this period, Sam was surprisingly the least productive (unfortunately giodine knew this and eventually mentioned it in one of their meetings which made him hide away cause like hell giodine was going to be critical of /him/) but he managed. It wasn't terrible, but unfortunately, Sam being able to talk it out with someone who does practically the same work as he does and gets newer, more helpful ideas was better in the long run.

Unsurprisingly, Sam was the first to initiate the healing of his and giodine's relationship but it wasn't reciprocated. Who would've figured, aye? Giodine kept pushing it back onto him and ignoring any progress that could've been made before. Which was frustrating.

The painting above was 'painted' by giodine, which is sorta where their relationship gets somewhat on an understanding of each other. Giodine gets to take a deep long look into who Sam is and tries to express it but it never fit him, it makes them realize that they never really-- truly got to know him. And all it does for Sam is make him even more confused about his place in giodine’s mind. He figured it's another fluke to get him to do something, so he ends up distancing himself when they start actually reciprocating his friendship advancements.

Suddenly, like a flash, Sam was forced to stay with giodine which is where the majority. I'll explain.

Sam...isn't actually the ruler of hell. Anymore, anyways depending on the timeline. His and purgatory's relationship has always been complicated, she always avoided him, and when they talked she always seemed scared of him. So in the end, they've never been close. Distant. Sam always wanted to talk to her, he made her, but if she didn't want to talk to him he wouldn't force it. But imagine his surprise as Purg singlehandedly took over hell in a hazed frenzy.

And not only that, had a personal vendetta against him!

Well, that would be the only explanation to Sam considering how he ended up broken and barely 'alive' at the hands of her. Horns broken and in tatters, pain and almost obliterated it felt like a hate crime. He didn't know what to do when he made it to the office, Purgatory was creating chaos outside his door and barely being able to breathe he felt like it was the end. So he called giodine.

Purgatory

She/her

ID: Purgatory is surrounded by flowers that are dark grey and white. The light fades down into a dark green. The light shines down on top of her straight, white hair that has yellow flowers tucked into it. Her skin is a dark brown and has a orange-ish yellow scar on her shoulder trailing up to her neck. Her skin is also highlighted by the sun. In one of her eyes, her sclera is black with an orangey, glowing iris. As for the other eye it it has a white sclera and the same, glowing orange iris. She has wings for ears, one dark grey and one white along with beige horns. She has a white fabric covering her chest. The frame is gold with white accents, but also has vines and moss crawling up the side.

(may have goofed a bit and forgot to color the sclera of her other eye white but ignore that pls)

Purgatory was made by Sam and Giodine, but to her it felt like a mistake. Why make someone that you’re going to be terrible to, she believed. Giodine seemed to hate her and eventually made her section almost obsolete because she simply wasn’t able to keep up with the backlog that she wasn’t taught to deal with. Not only that, she didn’t have any help with any of it, it was almost like she was expected to just do it on her own. Until Death came along to help, but that’s not what we’re going to be talking about right now.

And also, Purgatory is Purgatory yadda, yadda, I wont insult your intelligence.

Giodine’s thought process (other than wanting to be Real Close to Sam and once that thought filtered out, promptly ignored it) was that all the extras that don’t fit in either category of their thought of good and evil they’d go to her. (doesn’t matter cause in Sam's system it filters through ‘levels of assholery’ and depending on how bad you are you either just vibe in the upper city under rule of capitalism and possibly many under paying jobs or being actually tortured for his amusement if you’re just evil. Morally grey. Anyway, it could work p well in heaven if giodine wasn’t such a damn stickler.) But in the end, every day, less and less people ended up in purgatory, leaving her with barely any people and more verbal abuse from giodine who ‘HAS to take them or they would be more dead than they already are’. You see the pain she has to go through, right?

~Idea section, this is probably not canon anyways so dont take it serious~

My thought is that another oc (BA, you may have heard of him idk) takes over simply because Purg took multiple hims from alternative timelines (which isn’t allowed but what’re they gonna do, undead a dead clown? multiple times from multiple timelines???)) because she adored him and they figured ‘well we gotta redo purgatory may as well do it like this’ and make him a demi-dead-god. i think thats a cool idea right? anyhoo

~Idea section over uwu~

Purgatory overall is a fairly timid character, she doesn’t like conflict, is easily overwhelmed, and generally keeps to herself. She doesn’t see the point in being in any drama if she’s just going to be yelled at and scolded even if it’s not about her. The only way i could describe her taking over hell is this:

She was tired. She was angry and after feeling like nothing was in control or in her hands, she snapped. Why doesn’t she get anything or get to be ‘all powerful’ but they do? She knew if she took on Giodine she’d likely get thrown to the void, but sam? He felt fair game. Considering her fear of both of these gods, she planned and got her courage up to take him over. She had considered negotiations but in the end, she ended up going into a haze and ruining everything in sight. She was more powerful than she thought and once she started, she didn't stop until Death restrained her and Sam was already in pieces at God’s doorstep.

The aftermath was fuzzy for her and for everyone really. Godine was planning a take back hell while actually worrying for sam, sam was planning for a retirement, and she was being consoled while trying to get in contact with sam to apologize. Giodine wouldn’t dare let her talk to him, until she just showed up in their office. She didn’t have a problem with Sam, honest, she just was going to take shit over, but it got out of control.

Spoiler, Sam took her apology and they actually became.. somewhat closer after reaching an understanding.

I wanna say that giodine took them being okay and sam retiring as good as sam did about purg running hell, but they didn’t. Giodine and purgatory actually barely got along in the first place, and only begun ‘working’ on their bitterness toward each other because they both had sam to encourage it. I can’t say for certain if they’ll get better, as theyre both undying and have time, but I’ll just say for now its uncertain.

Also, Death is Purgatory’s girlfriend after all of that lmao.

And.. yeah, i hope this makes sense and that you like my drawings and ramblings about my lil story in my head, i guess this is my way to develop it without just keeping it to myself cause god forbid i keep things to myself hshsh. If you made it to the end, thank you for taking the time to read and attempting to process everything, and even if you didnt read and just looked to look at my art thank you to!!

I may post some art over on @ghoulishhusbandart cause.. it was my art account before i completely forgot about it but i might reboot it! But if you wan art NEOWWW follow me on insta (ik cringe lmaoo) by the same name as this account @ghoulishhusband or just click that insta link! also ignore the fact that giodine is the only one without a portrait, maybe I’ll replace it the next time i draw but im graduating on monday and my dad’s coming TOMORROW?? so i won’t have too much time to do it... but i hope you like my art anyways :]

ok!! ty!! ily!!

#ghoulishrambles #ghoulishsporkocs #man this is weird lmaoooooo #THE CUT DIDNT CUT IM SORRY #Man I should've edited this before ppl could see it I'm so sorry if it's a mess shshhs #I keep adding tags bc I have more to say but I wanna pin this but I don't wanna remove that Palestine post just for my ramble so #I'll just reblog it every once in a while

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fangirl-erdariel · 4 years

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So I got like all of three people interested but that's abt all the prompting I need anyway 😂

So. Yeah. Chosen Ones. The Call of Destiny, the Call to Adventure.

Pretty much every Chosen One gets it, that's how you know they're Chosen Ones (ok granted there are chosen ones who first sorta accidentally end up involved in an adventure and only later on discover it was their Destiny all along. But that's not what I'm talking about here). Usually it comes either in the form of someone really just handing them a sword and telling them they gotta do stuff. Sometimes it's a bit more complicated. In Heralds of Valdemar books it typically involves a white magic horse walking up to the main character, introdicing themself, and saying they Choose the main character. Or possibly tricking their Chosen into getting on their back and then getting them into a situation where they can't really just say no. But yeah, in general, it's very hard to say no to an intelligent magic horse that really, really wants you to do something, when an unbreakable bond of love and trust is born almost from the moment you first look into the horse's eyes.

Either way, the Chosen Ones fairly often refuse their Destiny at first. Not always, and with some heroes it might work better with them accepting it right away, but fairly often, probably more often than not but I can't say for sure, they try to refuse it at first.

Why, in-universe, do they refuse? The common reasons are all more or less selfless; fear, feeling that they're not good enough and someone else would do it better, or some conflicting obligation they wish to fulfill first. The conflicting obligation is somewhat rarer than the other two, but not unheard of; for example Luke Skywalker in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope refuses at first to go with Obi-Wan to Alderaan not because he doesn't want to, but because he feels Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru need his help around the farm and he should not leave them, no matter how much he wants to become a pilot or something instead.

Now, I admit, you could call fear or feeling of not being good enough selfish reasons, but for this I feel they're at least somewhat selfless. Because when the Thing they gotta do requires a Chosen One, it's automatically very important. The fate of the entire world may be at stake. So fear and feeling they're not good enough are reasons based on acknowledging the importance of the task they're given and how bad things would go should they fail, and not wanting to fail. On the other hand, what I mean here when I say "selfish", is indifference to the task they're given, refusal either because they don't feel like it or because it would require giving up something they don't want to give up.

But what about refusing for a completely selfish reason? That's a lot more rare. Of course the reason probably is that it may be more difficult to make the hero change their mind, and it also portrays them in a far less pretty and perfect light than the aforementioned reasons.

In fact, there's only one work of fiction I can recall right now that has the hero refuse for a reason that can only be called selfish. There are certainly more out there, no work of fiction is that unique, but that's the only one that comes to mind right now.

That work is a show called Robin of Sherwood. Now, the show doesn't have much of a fandom, so I'll give a brief summary of it here. Robin of Sherwood was a British fantasy tv show that ran for three seasons in 1984-1986. The show was based on Robin Hood, but there were fantasy elements added into it that do not exist in traditional versions of Robin Hood.

One of those fantasy elements was that Robin was Herne's Son, a Chosen One of the pagan god/forest spirit Herne the Hunter. This decision turned out to work for the show makers' favor when the original actor of Robin left the show, as it allowed them to kill of the previous Robin and have Herne choose a new Son. As a result, the show has two rather different characters both doing the part of Robin Hood, stealing from the rich, inconveniencing Prince/King John, annoying the hell out of the Sheriff of Nottingham, and fighting for the poor and oppressed people.

Now the first Robin, Robin of Loxley, being Chosen goes fairly traditionally; he's slightly hesistant about accepting the call but does so fairly quickly anyway. By the time his home is destroyed and his adoptive parents murdered, he's already accepted his Destiny and ready and willing to do Herne's bidding. I'll return to him later, but first I want to get to the point and bring up the second Robin.

The second Robin is actually called Robert of Huntingdon, and he is a nobleman of a powerful and high-ranking family; he's the son and heir of the Earl of Huntingdon, and nephew of the King of Scotland. Herne chooses him immediately after the first Robin dies, perhaps even a little sooner given how quickly he's able to go to the outlaws' rescue. When Herne chooses him, he does agree to help a little; he saves the captured outlaws who would otherwise have been executed. But that is something he can do quickly, with little risk to himself. When it comes down to it, he still refuses to truly become Herne's Son.

And there's no fear or humility or claims of not being good enough behind him not refusing. One might argue that being the heir of the Earl of Huntingdon means conflicting loyalties/obligations, but the show does not frame his choice in a way that seems to make it about that. What he says to Herne when refusing is more or less "The outlaws are safe, I've done enough, I'm not doing anything more for you." He refuses simply because he's not interested in the job, and though it's not stated aloud, possibly also because accepting that destiny would be giving up all the comfort and priviledges he has and exchanging them for a very hard and dangerous life as an outlaw.

His eventual acceptance of the Call is because of equally selfish reasons; he meets Marion at a party and decides she's hot. When she's abducted soon afterwards, he decides to go to the rescue, and as his father would not accept the attempt, he goes to get help from Herne and gathers up those Outlaws he can find to aid him in her rescue. Granted, his reasons for rescuing Marion are not solely "she hot". There's arguably also general outrage at her being abducted and forced into marrying like that, as well as guilt over having endangered her by defending her earlier in the party from the person who eventually abducted her, and I think he would feel those things even had the abducted person been someone he didn't find attractive. But I feel like him liking her and wanting to be together with her also played a major part, and it may be that without that he would not have had strong enough feelings about the matter to go to her rescue (or at least he would not have gone so quickly and rashly, but instead taken his time considering whether it was worth it or not, and planning and preparing). I think that only after accepting his destiny, Robert starts truly caring about the things he as Herne's Son fights for strongly enough to actually fight for them.

And it works. It works, I dare say, better than any othrr reason for refusal. Robert has lived a very priviledged life, and the reasons Robin Hood fights are... not really matters that would ever have affected his life. He has little to fear from the nobility, as he is one of them. He hasn't faced oppression. He hasn't experienced poverty. He hasn't had to choose between stealing or poaching and starving. He may well have at some point noticed it happens, maybe felt somewhat bad about it, but they are not matters that would intimately concern him.

So why would he even give up all his priviledges, all the ease and comfort of his life, to fight for things that would never concern him if he stays a nobleman? A hero who cares that deeply would of course be admirable, but let's be real. Damn few people in real life would be willing to give up that much. Good people living priviledged lives might sacrifice a bit, do things that slightly inconvenience them or take a little away from what they have, but giving up absolutely everything? I don't think many people would. And honestly, taking that into account, having Robert refuse simply because he does not want that kind of life adds more depth to the character than a more traditional refusal would have had. It makes him seem less of an impossibly perfect hero, but all things considered, it does not make him seem too terribly selfish to ever be a hero, either.

In comparison, for Robin of Loxely in RoS the quick unquestioning acceptance of his new position works perfectly. He's already an outlaw when he first meets Herne; he has nothing to lose by agreeing. He's lived his entire life witnessing the immediate effects of oppression all around him, so the fight is instantly personal to him even before he starts fighting it for Herne.

So, yeah. I guess my point here, if I have any, is that different characters should respond differently to becoming the Chosen One, and if you write that kind of stories, it will be worth it to consider whether one of the stock responses works well (because it definitely might!) or whether you should think outside the most common ones for a bit.

#fantasy #fiction #writing #chosen one #chosen ones #tropes #fantasy tropes #robin of sherwood

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 💀👑 having a party Jimmy: Where's my handwritten 💌? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: not enough 🩸 Janis: 💔 Janis: [pic of jelly shots and other basic party tings taking up cali's fridge] Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: if you ain't fucked with them, I'm dumping you Janis: it's like you don't know me at all 😱😏 Jimmy: Oi, it's a secret, that Janis: not tweeted it yet, we're safe Jimmy: tah, Judy Jimmy: what's the 👗👠 then? Janis: 🤔 Janis: it's either taking their 'style', lack of a better word, and doing it better, 'cos duh Janis: OR doing the anti-them so hard she'll be 😡 the second we walk in Jimmy: so do you want me in 👗👠 or looking like I slept in the park with nowt but a 🔪 and an empty wallet? Janis: both hot 🔥 Janis: probably hates poors slightly more than crossdressers 💙 Jimmy: have I got time to get a vote labour face tattoo? Janis: only if it's misspelled 💘 Jimmy: Duh Jimmy: trying to work out what 🎨 I could get to show I hate lawyers Jimmy: no win no fee finger tats? Janis: 😂 Janis: full of the 🥇💡s today Jimmy: downside being Ian might reckon it's 🥇💡 an' all, I'd have to ❌ 'em out or cover 'em up with something that'll get him fuming before he realises Jimmy: or put the 👗👠 on as well as Janis: that'll do it Janis: dress on a lad is still a dress on a lad, even if it's red Jimmy: getting into a 🥊 with him would only help the cause, nowt more common than a black eye and chipped tooth Janis: not had enough time for my fake pillow baby to be showing, WELL gutted 😭 Jimmy: can make the announcement on the night 🍾 be a lovely surprise for her Janis: godmother, anyone? 🙊 Jimmy: only right after we conceived it in her bunk 💕 Janis: solid HILARIOUS lad speech story, hun 👌 Jimmy: especially when I add in that I ain't sure and it could've been her desk in computer science 😘 Jimmy: oh the #bants Janis: me, tryna remember that time 💭👀 Jimmy: you and sir both Jimmy: draw the line at fake naming it after her though, what's her dad called? Janis: who knows Janis: Mike, John, Peter, Paul etc etc Jimmy: UGH fine we'll call the kid Jeremy Janis: gonna start doing #babytaylor updates around the 🕞 Jimmy: same Janis: graphic details of the abortion, good times, like Jimmy: but the #datenight in hell after is gonna be 🔥 soooooooooo Janis: 💁 #hatersgonnahate #dontmumshameme #howtolosethepregnancypounds Jimmy: 😏 Janis: she lives ages from both of us so where do you wanna meet? Jimmy: middle? Janis: his MIND 🤤 Jimmy: it don't matter to me actually now your ankle's loads better and I ain't gotta carry you the whole way Janis: said as if that were my preference, ever Janis: or that I'm well fat Jimmy: you were warned I'm 👴 and on death's door, mate Jimmy: I've had my 😭 about it but crack on with yours Janis: what else can be said about your stamina at this point, eh Janis: my cross to bear Jimmy: nowt 'cause I can't be all ears for your fake complaints after being deafened by your real praise Janis: if you're so gutted, I can promise you'll never 🔊 it again Jimmy: can you? doubt that Janis: see how easy Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: come here then Janis: where? Jimmy: where am I round the 🕞 Janis: UGH, don't remind me Janis: my biggest fake complaint 🥺 Jimmy: baby Janis: NEVER see you Jimmy: but I'm ALWAYS 💭💕 about you Janis: that'll be why Mia don't tip 💅 Jimmy: yeah that's TOTALLY the reason Janis: if you're THAT distracted how can you possibly remember how to make a decent latte?! Janis: if you're THAT distracted how can you possibly remember how to make a decent latte?! Jimmy: 1. there's no such thing as a decent latte 2. I could have you up on the counter and still make whatever ☕ dickheads want Janis: 1. okay got me there 2. not gonna have me there 'cos I'm nowhere near town so 💔 Jimmy: like I said ALWAYS 💭💕 Jimmy: and always fucking here 🕞 Janis: you're saying got time for that bus journey but how do I know it'd be worth it? Jimmy: I didn't promise to go mute on you for a start Janis: yeah? Jimmy: got loads to say, me Jimmy: [🔥 sext because why not] Janis: it's like that then Jimmy: it's however you like, you know that Janis: okay Janis: I want to see you Jimmy: okay Jimmy: I want you here Janis: I feel it Jimmy: I can promise you will Janis: you haven't forgotten just how long this bus ride takes, have you? Jimmy: no Janis: so you're being mean to me on purpose Jimmy: you started it by taking the piss out of my stamina Jimmy: this is just me showing you how much I've got Janis: but I'm already so Jimmy: and what I'm sitting here dead unfazed, do you reckon? Janis: I don't Janis: I think about you too, for real Jimmy: do you? Janis: yeah Janis: if I was good with words I could tell you about it but Jimmy: it's alright, you can show me Janis: when I'm with you, yeah Janis: what about all the times I'm not? Jimmy: you're decent enough at leaving reminders, I think I'll live Janis: you might Jimmy: how full's your 🚍 gonna be? Janis: this time? Janis: 👻town Jimmy: nowt to worry about then, is there? Janis: ? Jimmy: a 💣 could go off and who's about to see or hear it Jimmy: just us Janis: and the driver Jimmy: he'll be chatting to his mate or missus like the one before Jimmy: and you're gonna be 🔇 so you said Janis: 🤏 rude I'm now not that distracting at all, apparently but Janis: okay Jimmy: if he's that into it he can be our 3rd Janis: I'd ask but 😶 Jimmy: it'll go without saying, don't worry Janis: go on then Janis: you have to fill in the silence and tell me what you really think about me 💭💕 Jimmy: [a voice memo to make it even more of a #mood and to make me lol cos do you ever do any work boy] Janis: has anyone ever told you your voice isn't a total turn-off Jimmy: it ain't a compliment that usually gets chucked at me Janis: they're stupid then Janis: more than I reckoned Jimmy: don't talk to them, do I? Jimmy: just you Janis: oh yeah, suppose not Janis: count myself 🍀 Jimmy: dunno about that but you're alright to 🗨 to Janis: known worse, like Jimmy: tah very much Janis: you don't like compliments Jimmy: I never said that Jimmy: I don't know how to take 'em Jimmy: same as you Janis: it's when it's Janis: if you just said the same shit everyone says, it wouldn't even register Janis: but you ain't ever that predictable Jimmy: you're not a lass that's gonna get bog standard bollocks out of me Jimmy: 🥇 muse Janis: I can handle that Janis: you're pretty talented Jimmy: if you're the masterpiece, how could I fuck that up? Jimmy: barely have to do owt for it to be art Janis: be surprised how a lad can, 'cept not at all Jimmy: letdowns don't surprise me, whoever they're off 🌧 remember Jimmy: have had and have done loads, it's why the 😒 face fits Janis: you're far from a letdown to me, where it counts, like Janis: have that for free Jimmy: don't count for much when it's been days Jimmy: even Ian can manage to keep a lass about for that long sometimes Jimmy: but alright Janis: well it's all I've got Janis: and as I said, had worse Janis: you're free to disappoint me any time Jimmy: yeah, me an' all, but no need for me to chuck all the comparisons to my shit ex at you and pretend it'll do for a compliment Jimmy: or pretend that I wanna disappoint you Janis: It don't matter, we know it's inevitable but we also know we don't need to think about that right now Jimmy: it matters a bit Janis: not enough that we can do fuck all about it Jimmy: I just Janis: me too Jimmy: it ain't fair that you can 🧠📖 Janis: can't really Janis: could've agreed to anything there but fuck it, why not Jimmy: that's why I like you Janis: obviously Janis: whole plan hinges on it Jimmy: nowt to do with how fit and mysterious you are Janis: 🤏 tah Jimmy: Oi, I've been telling you how fit you are from day one Janis: don't stop Jimmy: not til it actually 💀💀💀s me Jimmy: how ain't there bollocks rumours about you being a model or an actress an' all? Janis: that'd be 😤💚 not 🤤💖 Janis: anyway, the school trip before the last, some scout came up to me and I thought the gals might actually murder her, or drown her with their 😭😭😭😭😭 Jimmy: right, it's different for lasses, so I've heard off you loads of times now Janis: and lads lack the imagination, not the kind of model or actress they're arsed about Jimmy: and that were why you didn't wanna do it then? Janis: didn't really have a chance, Lucas told her it was highly inappropriate to approach a child on a school trip, code for 'hands-off she's mine' 🙄 Jimmy: I get it, you can only find out who people are when I read their tits and tell you Janis: obviously Janis: got the card if you really wanna kickstart your career Jimmy: I just dunno why you don't, it'd be 💰💰 and a 💀👑 fuck you Janis: yeah but it's complicated Jimmy: which bit? the walk or the pout? Janis: very funny, dickhead Janis: 🥇 muse, so I've been told Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: why wouldn't you wanna get the fuck out of here? Janis: there's no guarantee that would happen Janis: might never get booked, or whatever the fuck they call it Jimmy: alright, you're scared of looking a twat Jimmy: but you're never getting booked if your name ain't down Jimmy: don't tell anyone you 🖋🩸 if nowt happens Janis: we've got well distracted from the point here anyway Jimmy: the new point is, stop being a selfish prick and think how 🥇 it'd make me look to have a model girlfriend, tah very much Janis: 🙄😏 you're the fucking worst Jimmy: kindly crack on 'cause I ain't gonna be about forever, like Janis: 👴 Jimmy: ✈👋 or ⚰🌹 either'll do Janis: know which one you meant Jimmy: it weren't me saying you can't 🧠📖 Janis: no brain to pick, you 💘 Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: yeah alright, that lass who tried to snatch you off the school trip'd know more than me but I still reckon you'd be good Janis: shh Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: meant to be you on mute though Janis: my point about the point exactly Janis: make it hard for me to speak in a fun way, dickhead Jimmy: [giving her pics because she gave him that glorious dressing room selfie and we know he looks good whenever even when he's supposed to be working lol] Janis: Jesus, boy Janis: how do you just look like that Jimmy: #notamodelbutmyfakegirfriendis Janis: definitely not doing it so you have a 🔥 # Jimmy: but LITERALLY what other reason is there???!! 😱😱 #s are EVERYTHING babe Janis: I know, hardest decision I've ever had to make Jimmy: I'm leaving now, I just think Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: *it Janis: I reckon you are too Janis: like Janis: normal lads don't look like you do Jimmy: I can't fake that hard it being a northern thing Jimmy: 💔 if that means my parents weren't shit at everything Janis: same but that ain't news to me Janis: people LOVE being vocal about how fit my mum is Jimmy: bit rude of everyone to fake Grace being your twin when she's really adopted 🎻 Janis: she looks like my dad's mum and she's devastated, is a gutting comparison however you slice it Jimmy: I should've done more 🎻🎻 Jimmy: I get it, I look like Ian so every other dickhead reckons Janis: 🤏 rude of you to say he weren't fit but I'll allow it Jimmy: 🤏💔 he's my biological father 🤞 the other two can still cut and run Janis: seen your socials that ain't got me in, the kid looks like a small clone of you so 🌧 Jimmy: 💰 on my sister then Janis: usually the middle child Jimmy: she's got his 😡 and it can't be nurture as he don't fucking do none so Jimmy: that's all of us fucked Janis: shit, ain't it Janis: couple my sisters escaped having the same dad but my ma's got terrible taste so theirs weren't no better 💔 Jimmy: how many do you have? Janis: 4 sisters and a brother Jimmy: bet he were 💔 growing up Janis: yeah we made him well gay Jimmy: don't @iantaylor8 Janis: he ain't about to gay bash so it's alright Janis: about to have a gaybie though so pop off on that one Jimmy: he'd be well chuffed to hear he can still have grandkids to bully even though he reckons we're all gay Janis: weird flex on your nature and nurture there, mate Jimmy: duh it's MY fault not his Jimmy: couldn't keep my ex from sleeping with half the north 'cause I obvs weren't and turned them onto a gay lifestyle while I wasn't at it 🙄 Jimmy: #myinfluence Janis: Is Bill your dad? Janis: the drama, the top class storytelling 👌👏 Jimmy: 🤞 you've still got that quill you borrowed Janis: if you fancy it, I'll come about and loudly let him know how gay you ain't Jimmy: he'd have to be about for that plan to work Jimmy: if we held our breath we wouldn't need the 💀💀💀 pact Janis: probably can't turn up at his workplace, yeah, bit weird Jimmy: ☕ delivery Jimmy: just brought my muse so I can do top latte art Janis: unrelated but where is the nearest storage cupboard, tah Jimmy: nowt to see here but everything to hear soz Jimmy: you'd have to break your vow of silence any road, can't have that Janis: not a nun, not an eternal vow Janis: just 'til you admit you like hearing it Jimmy: don't need to tell me on either count Jimmy: and I never denied that I like hearing you Janis: you were taking the piss Janis: so now you're gonna have to be well nice before I even consider it Janis: which is very 💔 for me 'cos I like making noise for you Jimmy: I've been SO nice since Janis: could you be nicer? 🤔 Jimmy: you tell me Jimmy: how can I? Janis: tell me what we're going to do at this party Jimmy: whose house is it at? Janis: #2 Jimmy: we'll find her fave bathroom then, she's bound to spend more time there than owt else Jimmy: ruin it for her Janis: anything that keeps her off the 🚽 is a 🏆 for us Jimmy: we can work out where her 🛏 is after Janis: probably four-poster Jimmy: probably be pretty hard to break Jimmy: but I'm up for the challenge if you are Janis: of course Janis: who am I? Jimmy: you're Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you're fucking Janis: so good Jimmy: you Janis: you you you Jimmy: if it's owt to do with me it'll be 'cause you've inspired me Janis: I'll take that Jimmy: do Jimmy: it's right Janis: I'm already bored of being on this bus Jimmy: it takes the piss but I need to see you Janis: I want it too Janis: takes the piss I live in the middle of nowhere Jimmy: I'll move you in when Jeremy's born, you're alright Janis: #1 dad Janis: get your own mug Jimmy: *🏆 Janis: bit demanding, babe Jimmy: what kind of dad can I be if I don't have nowt to put my 🥃 in? Jimmy: size matters, babe Janis: 😏 Janis: join you once he thing is out Janis: only 🍷🍷 Jimmy: @ Helena for 💊 Jimmy: your back will be killing you Janis: if he's got a head size of yours, I'll 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I'll 🔪 it out for you, what could be more #goals? Janis: basically a doctor 😍 Jimmy: wasted on just giving 🧽 baths, me Janis: not quite bubbles and 🍾 but Jimmy: when we get to the party, you can have that Janis: we can? Jimmy: if you want Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: one you never answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to Janis: no Jimmy: yeah Janis: 😡 Jimmy: I want you, dickhead Jimmy: I've said it before Janis: not a 🚨⛓ to wanna hear it Jimmy: 💔 love a crime, keeps me in a job Janis: I'll commit another, hang on Jimmy: 😍 Janis: pretty sure how you're tryna make me feel in public is illegal Jimmy: 🚔'd quicker than the 🚍 Jimmy: and hang on, isn't it working? Janis: if only Janis: it's not not working, but it'd work better if you were here Jimmy: brb just gotta change uniforms 👮🚔🚨 Jimmy: be with you in a sec Janis: love a chase scene Jimmy: 💕 Janis: reckon this driver is a new boy too Janis: going well slow Jimmy: Oi don't lump me in with him Janis: you can still be 🍦 of the month, it's okay Jimmy: is it? first my stamina gets slagged off now it's my tempo Jimmy: gonna need a complaints 🗑 if you keep on Janis: babe Jimmy: soz I didn't ask you to fake 👰💍🤵 or 🤰 on day one, like Jimmy: dead slow, me 👻💔 Janis: like, do you even fake like me, OMG Jimmy: busted Jimmy: reckon you're a bit of a dickhead tbh Janis: 😱😱😱 Janis: brb, throwing myself under this bus Janis: probably going too slow to kill me, THANKS Jimmy: see, what's to like, can't even stick to the plan, you Janis: nu-uh Janis: 'cos I'm NOT dying, but you'll show and think I have and go and off yourself Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: don't you 🤏 at me Janis: cheek Jimmy: keeping 🔇 is one thing but denying you're dying right now is Jimmy: I know you are Jimmy: me an' all Janis: it's very inconvenient Janis: wanting you this much Jimmy: weren't part of the plan Janis: exactly Jimmy: but Janis: too late to stop ourselves now Jimmy: not if you want to Janis: I don't Janis: you know that Jimmy: Alright Janis: it is alright, ain't it Jimmy: with me Janis: you're hot, I'm hot, why wouldn't we Jimmy: I'm not gonna give you a list of why it's a 🥉💡 to do this Janis: we'll survive Jimmy: I don't care if I don't Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me Janis: hot Jimmy: I am, you are, you just said Janis: but seriously Janis: you are so Jimmy: I get it, you're taking 💀💀💀 me seriously an' all Jimmy: right now Janis: you have no idea Janis: if I was even as half as good with words Janis: you might feel a fraction of how I'm feeling Jimmy: I do though, you're doing a decent job of telling me Jimmy: and making me feel like I Jimmy: could just Janis: just Jimmy: 💀💀💀 here in front of everyone Janis: oh Jimmy: inconvenient, I think that were what you said Janis: on the counter, that's what you said Janis: what I'm 💭 Jimmy: I'm not closing up but when I am next Janis: promise Jimmy: are you asking me if I do or telling me you do? Janis: asking you to Jimmy: I wouldn't have said it else Jimmy: but okay Janis: your fake manager better not show up Jimmy: he gets us to so he don't have to Jimmy: 👻🥊 Janis: just saying, some prior warning if you wanna third Janis: no 💌 for you Jimmy: I'm alright with leaving the rest of the dickheads out Janis: good to know Janis: 'cos I don't really rate anyone else right now so Jimmy: I've never rated anyone 🥇 as you Janis: you don't need to chat me up Janis: I'm there already Jimmy: it's just a bit of honesty Jimmy: nowt to worry about Janis: you mean it? Jimmy: Why would I have bothered to say it if it weren't? Janis: I dunno Jimmy: the answer is that I wouldn't Janis: alright, I believe you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: me too Jimmy: ? Janis: I ain't rated anyone else this hard either Jimmy: it's the accent Janis: maybe Jimmy: when you're going all about modelling you'll hear some right ones Janis: obvs Janis: let you know your final ranking then, like Jimmy: Tah Janis: all the male models will be gay Jimmy: chuck them my number Jimmy: Ian will be well chuffed Janis: can't have that Jimmy: Oi, just 'cause you're the first I've fake dated no need to make sure you're the only Janis: you wanna real date them, don't lie Janis: make you look well 🥇 Jimmy: it weren't enough for you to make your brother gay, I'm next now Janis: yeah, my agenda Janis: if you spread that around, I'll 🥊 you Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll delete the tweet Janis: dick Janis: 😏 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: how old was you, when you got with your ex Jimmy: why? Jimmy: if you're undercover 👮 an' all, I might believe we're #fated Janis: 💔 now I'm #gutted Janis: dunno, just asking Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭 dunno what we're pissing about at if we're not 🖋 in the 💫 Janis: I'll turn 'round, you're right Janis: been fun Jimmy: 👋 Jimmy: good luck getting that pout and walk sorted out Janis: good luck getting a new muse Jimmy: probably just give up 🎨 nbd Janis: yeah right Janis: it's your 💘 and life Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: come be my personal 📸 and I'll think about it Jimmy: no expert but I don't reckon that's how it works Janis: then I don't wanna Jimmy: you don't need me to hold your hand Jimmy: 🏆💪 you Janis: don't like having my photo taken Jimmy: fake it then Jimmy: you've had loads of practice Janis: true Jimmy: I'll take more, you won't give a shit about 📸 by the time I've been dumped Janis: like it when you do Janis: maybe it's your process Jimmy: I'm sure any photographer'd be chuffed to have a crack at doing the same for you Jimmy: won't be as fit and mysterious as me but Jimmy: you'll live Janis: 🙌 Jimmy: 🥇💡 to keep the pull out and pray method in mind, take a bit of the homeland with you Janis: ha ha ha Janis: shut up now Jimmy: not having my fake baby raised by other photographers Janis: doubt I fancy explaining that sentence to anyone else Jimmy: you don't fancy it, nowt of Jimmy: so alright, I'll leave it out Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: it's all bullshit Janis: nothing real about it Jimmy: the 💰💰 is Jimmy: and ✈🌏 Janis: I'm not a Hadid Jimmy: I dunno who that is Janis: it'd be less 🤩 and more, local ads and old lady catalogs Jimmy: and what? Janis: ❌💰💰✈🌏 Janis: ✔ 🚌🚍 Jimmy: ✔🐕🏃 then Janis: so soz it ain't as glamorous Jimmy: I doubt standing about in 👙👗👠 waiting for 📸 is Janis: yeah Janis: stupid Jimmy: like the lasses who'd be 😤💚 or 😭💔 Janis: literal Janis: must not know you can't ask the photographer to facetune you just how you like Janis: the breakdowns they'd have with the proofs would be worth it Jimmy: the Q&A they'd die for but'll never get 'cause you're out Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: hmm Janis: could fake that Jimmy: a career? yeah works for Mia's dad Janis: 😂 Janis: my 🥇 inspo forever Jimmy: obvs Janis: sorted then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be selling skinny tea on the socials in no time Jimmy: I'm not even gonna ask what the fuck that is Janis: laxatives Janis: 😋 Jimmy: 💀👑 would have to be fake nice to you for the discount Jimmy: not gonna put them on daddy's 💳 Janis: he's all about triggering that gag reflex Jimmy: my 🥇 inspo forever Janis: 😏 Janis: nice Jimmy: I am yeah Jimmy: SUCH a good lad Janis: not gonna disagree Jimmy: but you LOVE disagreeing with me, Judith Janis: maybe I LOVE making you feel like a lad more Jimmy: there's nowt you 💕 more than a challenge, I get it Janis: 'course Janis: far as you know Jimmy: #thickandnorthern Janis: #fitandmysterious Jimmy: don't remind me Janis: what else do you have to think about that's more fun than me? Jimmy: tip jar Janis: 💔😭 damn, can't compete Jimmy: gonna fare piss poor in this fake divorce now you've ❌💰💰✈🌏 Jimmy: gotta do something Janis: never would've got a penny out of me Janis: not a mug Jimmy: with Mia's dad having to choose sides it'll be 💔😭 all round Janis: how it's meant to be, isn't it Janis: get the best #drama out of the break-up Janis: Bill'll be happy, at least Jimmy: he'll be LIVING Jimmy: #ghostbants Janis: wow Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: am I ready to be a dad or what? Janis: you've got the jokes and the fashion, babe Jimmy: working on the body obvs 🍻🥔🥧 Janis: can't wait to be disgusted by you 💘 Jimmy: helping you fake your morning sickness is just the kind of lad I am Janis: don't need 💀👑 tips Jimmy: 💔😭🎻 for her Janis: good thing she's got the gals to look up to her Janis: not #2 she's clearly better at it, but the other ones Jimmy: I hope she goes live the day she does her in for surpassing her at starvation Jimmy: always need 💀💀💀 tips Jimmy: 🤞🥇💡 Janis: not gonna be as good as ours Jimmy: no need for us to make it look like an accident Jimmy: I know what I want Jimmy: not a tease like those pair Janis: if you were gonna lead me on that much Jimmy: you'd actually have to fake it Jimmy: can't have that Janis: shut up Janis: I'm 🥇 Jimmy: but still ain't been scouted as an actress have you, mate? Jimmy: says it all Janis: 'cos no one knows I'm in character Janis: called method acting, look it up dickhead Jimmy: you know I can't read Jimmy: bit bloody insensitive that you keep bringing it up Janis: 💁 Jimmy: be about right Janis: you started it Jimmy: bollocks Janis: you did too Jimmy: I never Janis: 😒 Jimmy: Oi don't be copying me Jimmy: [a 😒 selfie cos he's a nerd] Janis: oi yourself when you know that's a #kinkunlocked Janis: very rude Jimmy: or very nice Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: you don't? Jimmy: could just leave you with your 💭 Janis: subtle hint Jimmy: I know 🏆 Janis: dunno how good a photo you reckon I can take on this bus but Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: you said you were 🥇 Janis: not at Jimmy: I rate you Janis: only 'cos I know you've got no mates to send 'em to Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: that why you're always trying to set me up on playdates? Janis: 1. when? 2. 'cos I want any nudes I do to get better views? yeah, obvs Jimmy: any teacher or coworker for a start Janis: that's you, you're insatiable Jimmy: tweet that and keep your nudes out of it Janis: blame me for your 😍 Janis: psh Jimmy: it's your fault Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: shh Jimmy: I can't 🔊 me Janis: I can Janis: call it your literary voice Jimmy: I still don't believe you can Janis: why not? Jimmy: experience Janis: what does that mean Jimmy: it means you never 🤐 Janis: 😑 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you're a twat Jimmy: yeah Janis: literally not talking to you ever again Jimmy: sounds fake that does Janis: you'll see Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: well Jimmy: well you're still 🗨 Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: bye Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: yeah, party Jimmy: funny Janis: is it? Jimmy: what are you gonna do, get straight back on that 🚍 when you come off? Janis: I've got shit I can do, tah for the concern Jimmy: alright Janis: bit of a pisstake, actually Jimmy: what? Janis: you've dragged me out Jimmy: done nowt of the sort Janis: yes you have Jimmy: never made you do owt, real or fake Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: I know you're being a dickhead Janis: then stop replying if that's what you reckon Jimmy: it ain't me who don't wanna talk Jimmy: that's your party trick Janis: it's me who talks too much Janis: can't have it both ways Jimmy: I didn't say I wanted it a different way Janis: stop being a headfuck Jimmy: stop taking what I say wrong Janis: if I could, I would Jimmy: why can't you? Janis: it's me, not you Janis: you just said it Jimmy: no need to make it sound like the start of a breakup Janis: how would you like me to say it Jimmy: just listen to me, how about that? Jimmy: I like how much you talk Jimmy: I like talking to you Janis: but then I don't know what to say back Janis: it's compliments Jimmy: I don't mind not having any back Jimmy: silence is alright an' all as long as it's not a 💔 one Janis: it's not fair Janis: you should feel uncomfortable and all, like Jimmy: I don't feel anything 👻 perks Janis: yeah Jimmy: I'll stop if it makes you feel better Jimmy: signing only or something Janis: I don't feel anything either, that's what you don't get Jimmy: fuming is a feeling, girl Janis: so's 😒 Janis: but we both know, not really Jimmy: we both know that's just my face Janis: sure Jimmy: go on Janis: you clearly feel shit Janis: and it ain't just me that don't like talking about it, that's as obvious Jimmy: What are you the 💕😭😒 👮? Janis: 🙄 just don't chat shit about my party trick when you're doing the same Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: I've said loads to you Janis: I've said shit to you too Janis: I'm talking about now Jimmy: what about now? Janis: you're being weird Jimmy: what does that mean? Janis: dunno Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: let's leave it Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I dunno about any of this, alright Jimmy: and I do? Janis: more than me Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: you've done it before Jimmy: no I've not Janis: real is more of a challenge, if anything, not less, so Jimmy: weren't disputing that Janis: so you have Jimmy: no I've not Jimmy: it weren't the same Janis: obviously not Janis: not at the core Janis: but there's still shit you can use Jimmy: oh yeah, hang on I'll crack on and❌ out whatever I can't then it'll be piss easy Janis: I'm not saying that it weren't real with your ex, you don't need to get defensive Jimmy: you're being a massive twat Janis: not trying to Jimmy: leave it, like you said Janis: alright then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Why would you say that? Janis: what part? Jimmy: that there's shit I can use Janis: not like a bad thing Janis: just pointing out it's harder for me Jimmy: how isn't it a bad thing to reckon I can just swap out one lass for another? Janis: if this was real, maybe Janis: just meant experience, like Jimmy: right Janis: I didn't mean it as a diss Jimmy: I'll dry my eyes then, tah for clearing that up Janis: yeah, yeah 😏 Jimmy: ✔ Janis: harsh Jimmy: if this were real, might be Janis: okay Janis: got it Jimmy: I don't reckon you do Janis: you never do Jimmy: alright, it's my fault Jimmy: that sounds real enough Janis: yeah, exactly what I was after Janis: cheers and tah Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: don't you know that and all Jimmy: just asking for the fun of it, me Janis: letdown all 'round then Jimmy: it's been said Janis: not by me Jimmy: ⬆ there Janis: that was the first time Janis: 😭 accordingly Jimmy: I will do Janis: hmm Janis: wasn't very believable tbh babe Jimmy: I'll send you the video when I'm on my next break Janis: cool Jimmy: I'll try and look it 💔😎🚬 Janis: it's your whole brand so Jimmy: won't have to try very hard then Janis: 🙌 Jimmy: 🎬🏆🥇 Janis: post you your oscar Jimmy: bring it to the party Jimmy: save yourself the postage Janis: oh yeah Janis: 👍 one Jimmy: full of top quality 💡 me Janis: reason I keep you about Jimmy: duh Jimmy: see you there then Janis: alright Janis: in a bit Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [better skip to this party when you don't come around gal] Jimmy: [such fun] Jimmy: Oi, where am I headed? Jimmy: [after a bit when she has not replied] Jimmy: very helpful, you Jimmy: are we going to this party or what, dickhead? Jimmy: [after another bit] Jimmy: no? alright then Janis: [I'm thinking this is hours later, so the party is over] Janis: had to go somewhere Janis: say I'm at yours if anyone gives a shit Jimmy: tah for telling me when I could have done something to keep us #goals Jimmy: oh hang on, nah, you didn't Janis: sorry Janis: I'm busy Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: literally always Janis: this is different Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: I didn't ask Jimmy: it's nowt to do with me, what's to do with me is that you didn't bother to tell me you weren't coming Janis: alright Janis: sorry again Jimmy: now you need me to cover for you, yeah Janis: don't if you can't be bothered Jimmy: I do what I say I'm gonna do Jimmy: you can piss off Janis: yeah well you ain't promised so do what you want Jimmy: I don't need to, it ain't that #deep Jimmy: we have a deal and I pull my weight with it Janis: I'm not wasting battery saying it again Jimmy: you heard me say piss off then Jimmy: on you go Janis: bye, Jimmy Jimmy: 👋 Janis: [that's that on that]

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abstract-apocalypse · 5 years

Text

tagged by @mojave-musing!!

answering as kerry long, my ghoul oc whomst i only have one picture of

1. What is your name?

Kerry Long.

2. How old are you?

245 years old. All things considered, I think I look pretty good.

3. What do you look like?

Crispy, mostly. Tall, kinda lean, no hair, beef jerky complexion.

4. Where are you from? Where do you live now?

I'm from Cambridge, and now I live in Sanctuary Hills. The Commonwealth, Massachusetts, whatever you wanna call it, it's my home.

5. What was your childhood like?

Not too bad. That was before shit really started to go downhill for America.

6. What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?

I'm a Minuteman, I take care of repair work and engineering for them. The Railroad aren't bad, I like their commitment to equality. We could've used some of that in the years before the War.

7. Tell me about your best friend.

There's so many important people in my life, it's hard to name just one. Audrey Anderson was frozen in Vault 111, so she gets me on the level of being from before the War, and she's a lovely person. Anytime I'm in Diamond City, I have to go see her. Lynn is an amazing woman, and such an inspiration-- without her the Commonwealth might still be a lawless wasteland.

8. Do you have a family? Tell me about them!

My parents are long dead, and I don't have any siblings, but Nellie is basically my daughter. I love her to death, she's an amazing kid and I'd do anything for her. Gwen too, see above photo.

9. What about a partner or partners?

Sturges. He's pretty great.

10. Who are your enemies, and why?

The Institute, they're terrorizing the Commonwealth and the Minutemen won't stand for that shit. And on a more personal level, the Brotherhood bug me for ghoulish reasons.

11. Have you ever heard of the Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?

I'm pretty familiar. Can't say I'm a fan, what with their superiority complex to the common people, their attitude towards ghouls, synths, and anyone who's different from them, their technology obsession... They remind me of all the worst parts of Pre-War America.

12. What about The Enclave?

I remember back when they were the actual government, and they started out evil and only got worse. I'm glad they're gone.

13. How do you feel about Super Mutants?

Mixed. Obviously I'm not a fan of the ones who kill humans, but I get that it's tough to be an ex-human as it were, and some are nice. I wish FEV had never existed, though, that stuff is a crime.

14. What's the craziest fight you've ever been in?

I do my best to avoid crazy fights, but once I happened to be at Sunshine Tidings, on the roof of one of the buildings working on a turret, when some raiders decided that was a good time to attack. So I had to try and not get shot in this extremely visible position, while shooting at a way longer range than I'm comfortable at. I still don't know how I managed to get out of that alive. Not the craziest story ever, but I try to avoid that kind of stuff.

15. Have you ever fought a Deathclaw?

Hell no. I like being alive and having all my limbs attached.

16. Do you like fighting?

No. I hope someday we can forge a world where people won't need to kill each other anymore, until then it's a dirty chore.

17. What's your weapon of choice?

I don't like to fight directly, does a turret count? If not, then I guess just my 10mm pistol.

18. How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what's your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?

At the risk of tooting my own horn, I'm smart as hell. I can build and repair just about anything. I'm pretty lucky, too, as evidenced by not being dead.

19. Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them?

I have. They're definitely a mixed bag. It's good that people survived to rebuild and move forward, and the vaults helped with that, but they were very exclusionary about who got in. That means only "great Americans," wealthy, obedient, willing to toe the line and not question anything too hard. Heck, I only got in because they knew they needed an engineer to take care of the vault systems, otherwise they never would've accepted anyone Chinese.

20. How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you?

Well, I didn't exactly "beat it." I was late getting to the vault, and we were far enough from the blast that it didn't kill me, but I got to be a firsthand study on ghoulification. Now radiation's not a concern for me at all.

21. What's your favorite wasteland critter?

I like dogs, do they count? If it has to be something new, then I'd say brahmin. They're useful, gentle, and some of them are downright cuddly if you give them a snack.

22. What's your least favorite wasteland critter?

Bloodbugs are just annoying, and don't even give a decent amount of meat.

23. How do you feel about robots?

They're a tool, and how I feel about them depends entirely on who's using that tool. The government before the war used them to oppress people, so those robots are bad, but the Minutemen use turrets and the like to protect the people, so those ones are good.

24. How many caps do you have on you right now?

200. I don't travel much without warning, so I usually leave my main stash in Sanctuary.

25. Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla?

I haven't had a Sunset Sarsaparilla since before the war, so I'm gonna go with Nuka Cola.

26. Do you do chems?

Never. I've fought long and hard to stay alive, I'm not ready to risk that for some short term benefits.

27. Do you ever think about the Pre-War world?

All the time. Mostly what we can do this time around to avoid falling to the same fate.

28. What's your deepest regret? What would you do differently?

Hard to say.

29. What's your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?

My biggest achievement so far is the work I've contributed to building the Commonwealth. Lots of the turrets, generators, and utilities you see around Minutemen settlements are my design. In the future, I'd like to keep working towards a better world-- one that won't make the same mistakes as before the War.

30. What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world?

How ambitious can we get? Ideally, I'd say an end to violence, universal prosperity, everyone just being safe and happy. I probably won't live to see that happen, and maybe it never will, but I can try and get us a little bit closer.

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