#where was the live kevin reaction. he was sat there when that happened can you BELIEVE

[hella1975]

i finished trk

ok wait I have to send you the last like. two comments. in another ask

yeag 👍

[lokiondisneyplus]

For 30 years, Dan Deleeuw has worked in visual effects, from “The Mask” to “Armageddon” to “Night at the Museum” — but he always had a dream that one day, he might get to direct. That opportunity finally arrived in 2019, when “Avengers: Endgame” directors Joe and Anthony Russo — who’d worked with Deleeuw on VFX for their three previous Marvel Studios productions — hired him to shoot some additional photography for the behemoth production. That gig led to second unit directing jobs on 2021’s “Eternals” and 2023’s “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania,” and then, finally, to the main directors chair for the second episode of Season 2 of “Loki.”

Deleeuw, who oversaw visual effects on Season 1 of the show, presumed that he was hired because of his proficiency handling the action beats of the episode, in which Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and his TVA compatriot Mobius (Owen Wilson) pursue a rogue TVA trooper (Rafael Casal) to 1970s London, and then later reunite with Loki’s variant Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino) at a McDonald’s in 1980s Oklahoma. But Deleeuw says that executive producer Kevin Wright told him he was hired as a director because, even when working on visual effects, he “always talks about story.”

Deleeuw also discussed how both he and Ke Huy Quan — who joined the show for Season 2 — were surprised by how Hiddleston approached rehearsing the show, why the production decided to have Sylvie working at McDonald’s — and his reaction to the recent decision by Marvel’s VFX artists to unionize.

Since Sylvie is living in a branched timeline, did you ever discuss having an alternative version of McDonald’s, rather than the actual McDonald’s?

We started saying, OK, she’s gonna settle down on a timeline, what restaurant do we use? At that point, there was a pitch for RoxBurger — you know, the evil corporation in the Marvel Universe, Roxxon. But it didn’t tell a story other than it was like this faux-restaurant. And so McDonald’s came up as a suggestion. And McDonald’s is timeless, in a way — it crosses countries and borders. Everyone started talking about this nostalgic moment they had with McDonald’s. So quickly getting the audience cued into what Sylvie’s feeling — being on the run so long and seeing normal people, and just wanting to have that and leave everything else behind — we’re using McDonald’s to set the audience in a place where they can pick up on that pretty quickly. That’s what kind of sealed the deal on using McDonald’s.

Rafael Casal in Episode 2 of “Loki.” Courtesy of Marvel Studios

What was one of the biggest surprises about the experience of directing this episode?

Something I’ll always try to do on any other show that I direct: It was the openness to collaboration that Kevin Wright had, particularly encouraged by Tom Hiddleston and his experience in the theater. As the scripts were getting closer to being done, we would invite all the directors to come in for their different episodes. All the actors would come in. The writers are there. And we had a week-and-a-half, two weeks where we went through every single script, and just rehearsed them and played with them and made them better. It was just this wonderfully creative moment on the show. Once we got shooting, we had a really good idea of what we wanted to do. Ke [Huy Quan] sat next to me. He saw it all happening, Owen and Tom playing with lines. He leaned over and he’s like, “Is this normal?” I’m like, “It’s normal for them!”

You’ve been working with Marvel for over 10 years now, largely in visual effects. Did you always have an ambition to direct as well?

Yeah. In high school, in college, we did small films — public access, back when there was public access. It was something I always wanted to do. Even from the visual effects standpoint — designing the sequences and doing animatics — telling the story was something I gravitated to. When I got to work with the Russos, they definitely were encouraging of that and gave me the opportunity to shoot additional photography on “Endgame” that led to me doing second unit directing. I just always approach something from a story standpoint. So Kevin Wright saw that I had that kind of brain, and invited me back for Season 2 to direct.

How did he pitch that to you?

Being at Marvel for 10 years, there’s a little bit of a rumor mill going around. So I knew that they had hired Justin and Aaron, and then heard that Kasra [Farahani], the production designer, had gotten an episode. I was like, “Ah, there’s one left!” And then Kevin called me one day and he’s like, “Yeah, so, how’d you like to direct a ‘Loki.'” “Yes!” It was as simple as that.

Last year, several VFX artists who’ve worked on Marvel projects expressed pretty deep frustration with their working conditions, which contributed to the recent decision to vote to unionize. What has your experience been with those issues?

I support everything they’re doing. I’ve been in it for a long time. The number of hours in visual effects have been ingrained in the system for years. From the very beginning, we always had that crunch time. We take a couple months off, and we come back to it again. What you’re seeing now is, the shows are so much bigger, and you’ve got so many shows. A lot of the artists on set, and especially in the visual effects houses, are going from one big show to the next big show to the next big show. 

There has to be something that makes a better work-life balance, for the artists’ sanity and for their families and just their creativity. Otherwise, you’re getting diminishing returns. It’s your crew. You have to take care of them. That is something I think we have to think about and work out.

How did your experience in visual effects have influenced your approach to directing this episode, especially with regard to the VFX?

I can tell a story with something that isn’t there. In the original draft, there was a car chase. It didn’t make a lot of sense why Loki would be in a car chase. We decided we wanted to go a little bit more towards the dark Loki side and move away from a traditional chase. I was imagining one day, “What could Loki do?” and came up with the shadow gags with the horns and things like that. 

Was anything you did that a director who hadn’t worked in visual effects might not know to do?

You already know what it costs in terms of time and difficulty, and when you’re trying to get through your day, what you’re going do to [VFX artists] if you try to shoot without getting the blue screen just right Because I know the consequences, I’ll fight harder for getting it right, so the artists don’t have to deal with it. Getting into post-production, you know how much you can use an effect to help with storytelling, in terms of if you need to change the set a little bit, just to make it make sense for where Loki is. There’s an editor we have at Marvel, Jeff Ford, who’s cut a lot of the films. Jeff is a master. He doesn’t change his cut to fit the footage, he changes the footage to match his cut. I think that’s an insightful way of knowing how to use  some visual effects in post, without getting get too carried away with it. 

[thecryingprophet]

Chapter 4

Reassured by the fact that Jonah wasn't seriously sick, he decided to join the others at the river.

He walked for a bit around the town, trying to orient himself.

He was on a dirt road when a pick up truck, driven by a couple of his peers, pulled up besided him.

"Where are you going?" One of the two asked.

Kevin was kinda intimidated by them "I'm trying to find the river..." he murmured.

The other smiled "we're going there too, jump in!" he said as he opened the car door.

Kevin reluctantly sat inside.

Without warning, they started speeding along the dirt road.

"I've never seen you around before...are you new here?" The guy who was driving asked.

Kevin nodded "Yes, I'm staying the summer at the pastors house" he explained

The other guy chuckled "God, it must be boring, he used to tutor me and my sister and he was such a bore!"

The rest of the short ride was silent, finally the river appeared.

A dozen of teens were gathered around the river, some swam, some chatted and some played volleball.

Kevin felt disorientated, he was never good at social interactions.

Suddenly a girl came up to them "hi John, hi Phil!" She then looked at Kevin with a smile "and you are...?"

"Oh...I'm Kevin!" He replied.

"He's staying with that old man with a limp..." John explained.

"The pastor?" The girl asked, Kevin nodded "And what's your name?".

"I'm Alice!...nice to meet you!" She smiled once again.

"Alice! Come here!" One of her friends called her, she looked at him "sorry...now i gotta go..."

As soon as she was out of hearing distance Phil hit Kevin playfully on the back

"Kevin made an impression it seems!"

He was surprised, he thought she was just being friendly.

John and Phil eventually went swimming, Kevin, intimidated by the situation, sat on the ground in his swimsuit.

He started looking at the people around him, an hour passed by like this.

Then Alice came back, she sat besides him.

"You aren't very chatty, are you?" She asked with a sweet voice

He chuckled "I'm not very good with people ..."

"You seem like a nice guy thought" she replied

He smiled "thanks!".

"Can i ask you something?" She asked suddenly.

Kevin was kinda scared but nodded.

"Why are you staying with father jonah? What happened?"

Kevin looked to the side "it's kinda complicated...first off i don't have the best home life, i made some bad decisions and now as a punishment i have to live with the pastor..."

"What kind of bad decision?" She asked

"I did many things, the worst thing was smoking Marijuana once"

"Marijuana?" She asked, he nodded.

She looked to the side "well...that's surely something..." she blurted out, clearly unconfortable.

Kevin, taken notice of this, decided that maybe it was best to leave.

He got up and started getting dressed, nobody noticed.

As he walked away Alice gave him one last look, before looking away, regretting her reaction.

[sunwoo-hoo]

↣ the boyz reaction to s/o bringing home a pet / interacting with animals

↳ a/n: hello my darlings! we are back at it with another tbz reaction! this is for my lovely anon who requested this. i hope you don’t mind i altered the request a little bit. i’m so sorry that requests are coming out slowly but bear with me i’ll get through them. nevertheless, i hope you enjoy! also, all my reactions are canon to my boyfriend series so i highly recommend checking those out as well! ☻

↳ genre: fluffiest of fluff

↳ requested? yes

↳ send me your requests here!

↳ word count: 2.7k

↳ the boyz x fem reader

「 Lee Sangyeon  」

it had been a week since you last saw sangyeon and you were finally going to see him, but you never would have guessed the unexpected to happen one rainy evening when it was nearly 35°F

as you were walking up to the dorms that’s when you heard tiny meows and spotted a small white kitten near the alley trying to make cover in a box

you instantly felt bad for the poor kitten due to the harsh weather conditions and it looked like it was lost from it’s mother

you swiftly picked up and tried your best to cover the tiny kitten with your jacket as you made your way inside the dorms

as sangyeon open the door he instantly smiled seeing your face giving you a cheek on this kiss

“what’s that sound?” he wondered as he heard the faint meows coming from your jacket

removing your jacket sangyeon saw the small kitten that was in your hands

“i found him outside, i couldn’t just leave him out there. do you think we can keep him?” you asked hopefully giving sangyeon your doe eyes

he sighed “i don’t know baby, we’re both really busy with our schedules.. he should be with a family where they can properly take care of him”

you nodded hating that he was right, you knew that you couldn’t take care of pet when you had a full time job and sangyeon had his idol responsibilities

sangyeon noticed your sadness and lifted your chin to look up at him “we’ll make sure that he’ll go to a loving home okay?” he promised

you smiled in response giving him a small peck setting the kitten down on the floor where he quickly ran under the table

「 Jacob Bae  」

you were excited, it was the day of your birthday and jacob wanted to make it extra special for you

he knew you always wanted a pet so he decided that you could go to the pet store and get any pet you wanted with his card

he wanted to go with you but unfortunately practice overlapped

nevertheless, you were ecstatic looking at all the different animals that were for sale, when your eyes finally landed on some caged rabbits

you smiled as you saw a light brown one with his long whiskers, in a way it reminded you of jacob

as you told the seller that was the animal you wanted, you bought all the corresponding items you would need like food, treats, toys, and a cage with a matching bowl set for his food and water

once you had everything you needed you made your way to the dorms to surprise jacob with your new pet

as you knocked on the door jacob answered noticing the huge cage covering your entire face and half your upper body

he laughed “what on earth did you buy?” trying to peek through the cage grabbing it from you with ease setting it on top of the dining table

“something that reminds of me of you” you smiled

“that’s funny because i don’t see a golden retriever anywhere” he teased

“this is better! just close your eyes” you instructed as jacob did was he was told

once you knew his eyes were closed you opened the cage and grabbed the rabbit holding it in your arms “okay open!”

when jacob opened eyes he saw the small brown rabbit in your hands “aw… you got a rabbit?” he asked scooping it from your hands wanting to see it closer

“yes!” you squealed not hiding your excitement as jacob set him down on the floor so that he could hop around

“well it’s super cute, and it suits you so well” he said giving you a kiss on the cheek before he continued “now c’mon i have more surprises for my birthday girl”

「 Kim Younghoon  」

you loved younghoon, you pretty much had the perfect little family including your little poodle bori

but when your friend texted you that her maltese dog had a litter of puppies you couldn’t deny that you wanted one, they were just so precious

you kept hinting at younghoon all week that you really wanted to snag one of your friend’s puppies

“younghoon look at this cute picture again” you grinned showing him your phone

“they are cute baby but we already have bori” he said glancing at the picture

“but bori needs a friend” you protested leaning your head on his shoulder “pleaseee?”

he let out a light sigh “we can go and look at them but no promises okay?”

you shrieked “yay that’s perfectly fine! i love you so much” you repeated grabbing his face giving him kisses all over

as expected when you and younghoon went to go see the maltese puppies he was excited and couldn’t deny their cuteness and agreed that you could get one

you ultimately decided on the runt of the litter which was a boy and the smallest out of all the puppies

「 Lee Hyunjae 」

it was fun weekend when your sibling asked you to take care of their pet hedgehog

at first you weren’t even going to mention it to hyunjae since he was busy but he decided to surprise you at your apartment one evening

that’s when he noticed the small cage in your living room that definitely wasn’t there before

“hey babe what’s this? did you get a pet?” he wondered curiously

“oh! no i didn’t i’m just watching him for the weekend while my sibling is out of town” you replied heading to the kitchen to get dinner started

as hyunjae opened the cage to get a closer look at the hedgehog it quickly curled up into a ball out of anxiousness pricking hyunjae’s fingers

“ah! it feels like needles” he nearly screamed closing the cage quickly

as you ran back into the living room to see what the commotion was all about you saw the hedgehog still curled up in a ball in the corner of his cage

“aw hyunjae you scared him” you said opening up the cage grabbing him carefully

the hedgehog slowly peeked out of his little ball and started to relax in your hands

hyunjae came up behind you laying his head on your shoulder trying to get a better look at the hedgehog’s face

“it looks cute, but he still hurt my hand” he whined playfully

rolling your eyes at him you set the hedgehog back inside the cage where he started to walk freely

you grabbed hyunjae’s hand giving it a small kiss trying to make him feel better

“it hurts here too babe” he said pointing to his lips smirking

you chuckled as you leaned in giving him a small peck

「 Lee Juyeon 」

you were visiting juyeon during practice when he finally met your pet turtle for the first time

it was a yellow-bellied slider turtle and it was still small enough that it fit in the palm of your hand

you walked in the studio with your small portable cage and saw juyeon practicing alone to new dance moves for the boyz next comeback

he smiled when he saw you through the mirror reflection turning around walking towards you giving you a peck on the lips

when he pulled apart he noticed the tiny cage in your hands

“hey babe, you didn’t have to come all this way to see me. i was gonna head to the dorms after” he said

“i know, but i wanted you to finally my meet my pet turtle. i’ve had him ever since i was little” you smiled taking your turtle out of the cage handing him over to juyeon

“he’s super cute” he commented as the turtle kept sticking its head in and out of his shell

as you both sat down on the floor you grabbed a little bit of juyeon’s fruit from the table and started to feed your turtle

juyeon laughed at how slowly the turtle was eating

“that was all the food i had for practice and it’s gonna take him at least 5 years to eat it all” he teased as you giggled in response

「 Kevin Moon 」

after dating for about a month kevin finally decided to visit your apartment for the first time

you were a bit apprehensive at first mostly because of your pet since you weren’t sure how he was going to react

as you walked into your apartment he casually looked around

“wow i’m jealous i think your place is bigger than our dorms” he commented

you laughed before stopping in front of your bedroom door

“okay, so don’t freak out but i have pet snake..” you told him hesitantly

“no way for real? can i see?” kevin asked excitedly

you nodded opening your bedroom door as you and kevin walked up to the medium sized cage in the corner of your room

“wow he looks really cool can i hold him?” kevin asked

“absolutely he’s actually really sweet” you replied taking out the medium green snake and handing him over

kevin held the snake in his hands while sticking out his tongue copying the snake as you smiled

“i actually have to give him away soon since i’m moving to another building and they don’t allow pets” you mumbled

“aw that sucks [name] i’m sorry, how about i help you find him a good home?” kevin asked placing the snake back in the cage

you nodded happily wanting nothing more

「 Choi Chanhee 」

you weren’t expecting that this was the way that chanhee would meet a pet mouse for the first time

it was a memorable experience to say the least

when chanhee was on vlive you figured now was the time for him to meet the cute little mouse

“i’ll be right back deobi’s i’m gonna bring a friend” you smiled

chanhee gave you a confused look as far as he knew it was just you and him that were gonna do the vlive together

once you came back into the room chanhee turned his chair to greet the new acquaintance but the first thing you heard was his screams

“love what is that? is it a rat?” he shrieked as he covered his mouth in disbelief

“no! it’s my pet mouse, doesn’t he look cute deobi’s?” you asked showing him to the camera

“look at his cute little round ears” you added as chanhee was still giving you puzzled looks

“oh love, i don’t know…” he finally said looking at the mouse from afar and at his phone reading deobi’s comments

you giggled responding “relax chanhee it’s my neighbors mouse, i just wanted to see your reaction”

he sighed putting his hand over his chest dramatically “love you almost gave me a heart attack in front of deobi’s”

“sorry deobi!” you apologized sincerely leaving the room

“what just happened?” chanhee asked the camera jokingly

「 Ji Changmin/Q 」

it was a nice sunny day when you and changmin decided to take a walk through the city

it was a spontaneous day, doing everything that caught you and changmin’s eye like the cafe and shopping

as you both were making your way home that’s when you spotted the pet store asking changmin if you can go in

“changmin-a, can we go there?” you asked pointing to the pet store

“of course babe, i was thinking about getting some new fish” he grinned grabbing your hand

as you both walked around the store looking at the various fishes and reptitles that’s when you saw a cage full of adorable hamsters

“aw changmin look how cute these are, they look just like you! especially that one” you pointed laughing at the individual hamster in the corner eating with its cheeks puffed

changmin laughed showing his adorable smile agreeing before asking the seller if he could hold one

the seller opened the cage and handed changmin a hamster to hold

you quickly took out your polaroid camera as changmin started to pose with the hamster

the rest of the day was spent taking pictures with all the animals in the pet store

「 Juhaknyeon 」

it was a chill day spending it haknyeon on his rare day off

as you two were watching t.v with your head on his lap you were casually scrolling through your phone

that’s when you saw an ad for a chameleon that was for sale

you didn’t know much about chameleon’s besides thet fact that they were really cool looking and that their skin camouflaged itself to hide from prey

you gently tapped on haknyeon who was slowly starting falling asleep

“haknyeon look someone is selling their pet chameleon” you said lightly trying to wake him up

“hmm? that’s nice babe” he replied still half asleep

“can we go and see it?” you asked hopefully

“mm, sure babe” he murmured bending down to kiss your forehead before falling back asleep

a couple of days later you were seeing the chameleon for the first time even though haknyeon barely rememberd the conversation on going

“this is him” the older lady introduced you two to her loving chameleon adding “would you like to hold him?”

you nodded enthusiastically as she grabbed the chameleon and placed it on your forearm

haknyeon lightly touched his back commenting on the odd texture

you then placed it on top of haknyeon’s forearm and saw the chameleon changing colors to haknyeon’s jacket

“wow, this is officially the coolest pet ever let’s get him” haknyeon’s said smiling

「 Kim Sunwoo 」

kim sunwoo loved you, in fact he adored you. in his eyes you could do no wrong

but he also loved the two lovebirds you had together as pets as they reminded him of your relationship

the birds were always together, eating, sleeping, and flying simultaneously

the male lovebird had a black face with a grey body and his name was jae

while the female was light blue with white body with her name being eun

he especially loved it whenever he would come home from practice and they would fly all over the dorm

“sunwoo wait, jae is on top of your head” you giggled as sunwoo entered the apartment taking off his shoes

you pointed your index finger outward as jae flew on top of it landing easily

jae quickly flew over to his wooden play stand walking to eun as she was eating from the bird feeder

sunwoo pulled you close wrapping his arms around your waist pressing light kisses in the crook of your neck from behind

“how was your day?” he murmured in between kisses

you moaned in response “so much better now that you’re here”

sunwoo smiled as you both heard the the faint chirps from jae and eun in the background

「 Eric Sohn 」

one of the reasons you loved hanging out with eric was because he always made you feel like a little kid again

it was his idea to spend the day with you at an amusement park where you two went on countless rides and ate all the junk food you can eat

you both decided that it would be best to take a break from all the rides and go to the park’s animal exhibit

“wow babe come look a this” eric exclaimed excitedly pulling your hand running towards the reptile exhibit

you giggled in response at his energy following right behind

you both took in all the different snakes, lizards, and turtles before you finally stopped in front of an exhibit where a worker was explaining one of the lizards they had which was a bearded dragon

“now would anyone like to hold him?” the worker announced to the onlookers

“i would!” eric grinned raising his hand in response

as you both walked closer to get a better look the worker handed eric the bearded dragon where he was also explaining more fun facts and instructions on how to hold him properly

“hold still eric i wanna make sure i get a picture of this” you smiled taking out your phone

after you took a few snaps you sent it to the boyz group chat where texts started to flood in

you laughed when you read hyunjae’s comment saying that the bearded dragon looked like eric

eric peeked at your phone to see what was so funny until he read hyunjae’s text

“just wait, he won’t laugh once he finds a bearded dragon on his bed” eric chuckled mischievously

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* © sunwoo-hoo 2 0 2 1  ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[flowertboyz]

hi! can i request for tbz reaction to their daughter dating another member's child? thank you!

i feel like i could probably say these are all canon,,, but not that all these couples ended up together😭 i just feel that at one point,, each one of them would’ve dated another yk

also i wrote these as little scenarios instead of bullet points!! let me know what you think🥰🥰

sangyeon:

saerom & luca (13/14)

“why am i not allowed a boyfriend? saerom’s dating luca.”

“sarang!” the 13-year-old exclaimed.

“what?” sangyeon asked, “saerom?! you’re dating luca?! as in… luca bae?! saerom, you know you’re not allowed to date until you’re 15.”

“well, i’m like… almost 15.”

“no! luca’s almost 15! oh my god, luca’s almost 15! he’s older than you, saerom!”

“dad!” saerom groaned, “please, just leave it alone.”

“were you at least gonna tell me?!”

“no!”

“why not?!”

saerom glared at her dad as you just laughed from beside him.

“oh,” he nodded, “i get it.”

saerom rolled her eyes, leaving the room.

“she’s like 5! she can’t have a boyfriend!” he exclaimed.

“13, but sure,” you chuckled.

jacob:

bailey & donghyuck (16)

“what if he’s a complete weirdo?” jacob stressed.

“it’s okay, jake, i trust bailey to make a smart decision.”

he sighed, nodding, “you’re right.”

“mum! dad!” bailey called, running in the kitchen, boyfriend in tow, “meet my boyfriend!”

“donghyuck?!” jacob exclaimed, “bailey, i thought… i thought it was gonna be someone we didn’t know?”

“why? i never said that,” bailey giggled, the two speaking in english, donghyuck’s frantic eyes flitting back and forth.

“don’t worry, donghyuck-ah, we’re just relieved it’s you,” you said.

“yeah! bailey, don’t scare us like that! you can date anyone of the boys’ sons, or daughters, i dont care!” jacob laughed.

“oh, okay! we’re going up to my room,” bailey smiled.

“door open. no loud music,” jacob said sternly.

“you just said you didnt care!”

“door open, no loud music.”

bailey rolled her eyes, “fine.”

younghoon:

juno & milo (14)

“i dont doubt that eunji is actually going to marry hyunjung, you know,” you said as the three of you sat at the dinner table, picking at your food.

“don’t say that,” younghoon whined, putting his chopsticks down, “she’s only 16.”

“yeah but they seem actually in love,” you shrugged, “i’m just saying.”

juno giggled, younghoon looking at her sternly, “you’re not allowed to do that, okay?”

“what do you mean?”

“find a boy and get married early.”

“well…”

“juno!” younghoon exclaimed.

“oh my god, who?!”

juno blushed, speaking through a mouthful of rice, “milo.”

“milo?! milo as in eric’s son?!” younghoon yelled

“yes?”

“oh my god. no he’s a baby. you’re a baby! what?!”

“they’re the same age, actually,” you hummed.

“why are you not…?! what?! this is crazy!”

“are you mad?” juno asked.

younghoon sighed, “no. i just can’t believe you’re so old. i can’t believe i’m so old!”

he took his bowl, storming to the kitchen as you rolled your eyes.

“congrats, honey.”

hyunjae:

soojin & seongcheol (8/10)

“i just think you should know, dad,” hansol said, leaning over the back of the sofa so his head was beside his dad’s, “i saw soojin holding ju seongcheol’s hand when they were walking out of school today.”

hyunjae pushed hansol’s head away before pausing, “wait. seriously?”

“soojin! come here!” hyunjae yelled.

“coming daddy!” she called, running down the stairs, “what is it?”

“soojin, are you dating seongcheol?”

“yes! he’s my boyfriend, daddy!” soojin giggled.

hansol shrugged, pointing at his little sister, primary evidence.

hyunjae smiled, “congratulations honey, i hope he treats you well.”

soojin giggled, running back upstairs.

“what?!”

“she’s 8! and it’s seongcheol, what’s he gonna do?”

juyeon:

bora & minjoon (18)

“hey dad, hey uncle q,” bora smiled, walking into the dance studio, hand-in-hand with minjoon.

“what’s this?” juyeon asked, out of breath from choreographing, motioning to their interlocked hands.

bora looked at him, confused, “we’re dating?”

“what?!”

q laughed, looking at juyeon, shocked, “how did you not know?”

“you didn’t tell me that!”

“no, of course i didn’t tell you out-right, that’s weird! but you know, me and minjoon spend a lot of time together, i thought you would’ve caught on.”

“you have to tell me these things out-right! and why would that be weird?! i wanna know!”

“okay, fine, i’ll tell you!”

“well it’s too late now,” juyeon sulked, “but you, if you do anything—“

“woah, he’s my son as well!”

“i don’t care, she’s my daughter.”

“oh my god, let’s go,” bora sighed.

kevin:

faith & eunbi (13)

“dad, can i talk to you?”

“sure,” kevin said, hopping down off the stool to follow faith into the living room, “what is it? you look worried.”

“i’m not worried,” faith shook her head, “i just… i got a girlfriend the other day.”

kevin nodded, “cool. what’s her name?”

“uhm… eunbi.”

“eunbi?! as in… ji eunbi?!”

“why is that the part you’re most shocked at?” faith laughed, falling back in relief.

“well yeah! i don’t know how to feel about that! i don’t care that you’re dating a girl,” kevin laughed, leaning over to kiss her head, “i’m proud of you, though.”

new:

kyuhyuk & howon (16/15)

“why are you ignoring me?!” howon yelled.

“ya, howon, what are you doing?” new asked.

“don’t! dad, it’s fine,” kyuhyuk said, grabbing howon and dragging him up the stairs to his bedroom.

“what is that about?” you asked.

new waited until his bedroom door was shut before creeping upstairs and hanging around outside his son’s door.

“no one knows, howon,” kyuhyuk said, “i liked it, i enjoyed it. but we can’t continue this.”

“kyu, please,” howon said, “i love you.”

new gasped, his heart dropping.

“just leave, howon. i’m sorry.”

new quickly went into his room, waiting until howon had left the house until he went to knock on kyuhyuk’s door, “kyu? can i come in?”

“what?”

“i just, wanted to see how you were.”

“you heard us didn’t you?” he asked with teary eyes.

new nodded slowly.

“i’m sorry,” he sobbed.

“you have nothing to be sorry for,” new gasped, pulling kyuhyuk into his arms, “do not apologise to me okay? apologise to howon.”

“i’m just scared.”

“i know, baby, i know. i’m so proud of you.”

q:

haemi & hyunwoo (8)

“i’ll see you tomorrow, haemi,” hyunwoo smiled.

the little boy looked around, almost comically, before leaning forward and kissing the little girl.

haemi blushed, “bye, hyunwoo.”

hyunwoo waved, continuing his walk back to his house as haemi turned around and headed towards her front door.

“ji haemi what was that?!” changmin screamed, opening the door.

“huh?”

“i saw that! why are you kissing hyunwoo?!”

“he’s my boyfriend,” she muttered.

changmin squealed, “what?! when were you gonna tell me this?! when did this happen?!”

juhaknyeon:

youngjee & yoon (16/17)

“can you hear that?” haknyeon asked, getting out of bed and heading over to the door.

“hear what?” you asked.

haknyeon shook his head, crossing the hallways and knocking on youngjee’s door, “jee, can i come in?”

“u-uhm no! just a minute!”

“youngjee?!” haknyeon repeated, opening the door to see yoon stood next to youngjee’s bed, shirt on the floor, “i knew it!”

“dad!” youngjee groaned, “get out!”

“when did he get here?!”

yoon laughed nervously, pointing to the open window.

“yoon! oh my god, you’re both idiots!” youngjee rolled her eyes, shutting the door in haknyeon’s face.

“just be safe please! and yoon, use the door!”

sunwoo:

rina & soohyun (4/16)

“you alright there, rina?” sunwoo chuckled, watching as rina laced her tiny hand with soohyun’s bigger one, dragging him over to the paddling pool with her.

rina nodded, “soohyun-oppa’s my boyfriend.”

sangyeon laughed in the background while sunwoo shook his head.

“you’re too young for boys, rina-ya. and soohyun’s a lot older than you,” he said sweetly.

“i love him!” rina giggled, hugging soohyun’s leg.

soohyun just shrugged, continuing to play with rina sweetly.

“just leave her, sunwoo, it’s cute.”

“she shouldn’t be thinking about boys.”

you whacked him, “she’s not, you idiot, she’s 4 and she likes soohyun.”

“whatever.”

eric:

violet & daehyun (19/22)

“i’ll pick you up tomorrow as well, okay? where something nice, we’re going out for dinner,” daehyun said, one arm around the car seat violet was sitting in.

“okay,” she smiled, “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

“bye, baby,” he said, leaning over and kissing her.

she placed her hand on his jaw, deepening the kiss.

“ya! violet sohn!”

violet pulled away with a grunt, “i told you not to park so close.”

“with daehyun?! he’s so much older than you! violet, come here right now!”

“i’ll see you tomorrow,” he whispered as she got out the car.

eric frowned, “no you won’t!”

“calm down, dad,” violet groaned.

“get inside. hey daehyun! you’re an idiot!”

“love you too uncle eric! i’m telling dad you said that!”

[yawchannel]

INTERVIEW: The Falcon And The Winter Soldier for SFX Magazine (Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan Part) (Issue 337, February 24th, 2021)

By Tara Bennett

WING MAN

Anthony Mackie is Sam Wilson / Falcon

SFX: You’ve admitted that initially you weren’t sure on the idea of doing an MCU Series. Why?

ANTHONY: To be honest, I’ve had trepidation from the beginning. I was really afraid of the idea. Working on so many Marvel projects, and seeing the end result and the effect that they have on people, I was afraid that the quality of the production would be taken down for television. I was afraid that you can’t do things on television that you can do in theatres.

Seeing people’s reactions to Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame in the theatres, and hearing the connection that the audience members have with these characters... that’s every actor’s dream, to affect an audience and expose them to a different way of looking at culture and the world around us. I was really afraid that I wouldn’t have that opportunity to step out on that ledge like the actors before me had.

But once we talked, and once they brought on Malcolm and Kari, I knew it was going to be something different. Kari is a phenomenal leader, and Malcolm is an amazing writer. And Kevin promised me that it wasn’t going to be different. He’s not going to tarnish the Marvel brand by trying to just blow out as much content as he could. And I trusted him on that. They haven’t let me down yet, so I just went along for the ride on faith of their past work. And I was really pleasantly surprised by how great everything turned out.

SFX: Steve was an integral part of both Sam and Bucky’s lives. How does the show explore his absence?

ANTHONY: With Sam and Bucky, the idea of losing Steve looms heavily in their day-to-day-life. Captain America - not just a moniker, but the person - was a huge influence on both of them. The idea of the moniker is not as important as the person that they lost. Their whole goal, and their whole focus, is to honour Steve, because he left them with such a huge task to pick up where he left off. Just the weight of the shield with no Steve leads us to believe that there might not be another Captain America. There will never be another Steve Rogers, so for the two of them, the idea of the Captain America moniker is more of a burden than a blessing. They really try and allow that to be an influence of the legacy that he left, and how they can keep that legacy alive and support him - while also missing him and being very sad that he’s not around any more.

SFX: Will we see more of Sam’s regular life?

ANTHONY: We get to see more of them in their surroundings, their personal life, with people who influence their life day-to-day: family members, friends, co-workers. You got a little bit of it with Sam when Steve went to the VA when they first met. But now you really get to see his twists and turns and where exactly he fits in his nine-to-five, as opposed to him just sitting around waiting for Cap to call. That was one of the biggest pitches that Nate and Kevin gave to me that really intrigued me and excited me about this story.

SFX: Exploring Sam’s big choice when it comes to taking up Cap’s shield encompasses so many real-life issues, including race. Was Malcom a solid partner in conveying that?

ANTHONY: You know, it wasn’t just Malcolm and I. What was really interesting was Kari [Skogland] and Zoie [Nagelhout] were very local in the idea of who this man was, and what he was going to mean to the society that we were presenting him to. It’s funny, with Kari being a white Canadian woman, and Zoie being a white American woman, they had such strong parts of opinion and such interesting ways of seeing this character that were way more aggressive than anything I could have imagined. Their perspective and bravery, as two women leading the charge, to show the situation that this character was being thrust into in the world that he lived in, was very humbling. I always felt support. It always felt like there were people around me who were paying attention to what we were saying as a show.

BUCKY STAR

Sebastian Stan is Bucky Barnes / The Winter Soldier

SFX: After Endgame, how did you feel overall, about staying in the MCU?

SEBASTIAN: At the end of Endgame it was sort of strange and emotional. At the time, it was the 10-year anniversary, so everything felt like an ending, of sorts, even though we recognised that there was probably going to be more to it. But it was great to be able to have a discussion about the future.

SFX: Who at Marvel Studios initially pitched the idea of this series to you?

SEBASTIAN: I sat with Kevin [Feige] initially. And then with Nate Moore, who I had done Civil War and Winter Soldier with, and had an unbelievable experience. I think I was a little nervous, because part of me felt like “I’m not even sure if I know what’s left to be explored with the character”. But we actually discovered so much more. And I feel like the character now is coming off in such a different, deeper and more complex way than we’ve seen him. I thought I had explored the character, as he was, enough, but we actually had only scratched the surface. What we’re able to do with him in this series is just on such a deeper emotional level, and we didn’t have that opportunity before.

SFX: What was most interesting to you about doing a series?

SEBASTIAN: The idea of exploring this character now, separately, from Steve Rogers and from that storyline, and putting him in the world, and giving him an opportunity to really, truly, have to face who he is - everything about that was exciting. And the idea of working with Anthony was exciting, because I know we have something special and we’ve never gotten a chance to explore it.

SFX: Who are Sam and Bucky to one another in this series?

SEBASTIAN: They both despise each other equally! [Laughs] I mean, there’s some truth to that. But it’s also a discovery for both of them to realise that they actually have much more in common than they thought. They come at it from different backgrounds. But essentially, they’re both two people trying to find their new identity, and that really has nothing to do with Steve Rogers. Steve Rogers is much more the catalyst, like the event that sets off the bomb that causes both of them to go, “Okay, that happened. Now, let me deal with these things”. I think it’s about them figuring out that they need each other much more than they want to accept.

SFX: With no Steve to lean on, what is Bucky focused on?

SEBASTIAN: It’s a bit of re-educating that happens at the same time. He’s learning a lot about Sam, and he’s also learning about the world, because it’s a very different world than when we was last “James Bucky Barnes” in the ‘50s. He’s always got to deal with the shadow that’s following him. Now it’s more of a question of, how does he take what he’s learned and apply it for himself, going forward? How do you go out there in 2021 and function, knowing what he knows and what he’s bee through? And also, how do you do it without somebody who was a brother by his side, who was a staple of strength, or familiarity? You take away even the last comfort zone - what does he have? That’s what the show is about for him.

SFX: Why do you feel that Bucky has been able to retain fan sympathy during his dark arc?

SEBASTIAN: He felt much more reachable and reachable than other characters, perhaps because of the arcs of trying to cope with the past, or getting over some trauma, or PTSD. And his level of finding oneself again, redefining yourself, your morals, your values, who you are, what you believe in, the challenges that you have - in terms of accepting the world a certain way - understanding that maybe how you grew up and what you’ve learned isn’t going to always help you find your path. You’re going to have to maybe go against the things that you’ve been used to. Those are all things about this character that are very interesting.

There are two more interviews with Showrunner Malcolm Spellman and Director Kari Skogland included in the issue!

If you'd like to get a copy, SFX Magazine Issue 337 is available to purchase both physically and digitally worldwide! https://magazinesdirect.com/mobile/az-single-issues/6937139/sfx-magazine-single-issue.thtml

[ericspinkhair]

I can make you forget

pairing: soft dom!Jacob x reader

word count: 1.8k

synopsis: your life sucks and you find yourself seeking comfort in Jacob. he makes you forget everything by making you come twice

warnings: mentions of depression, abusive parents, nipple play, squirting

a/n: idk why I was like, yes, this needs some angst. maybe because Jacob seems like such a great comfort person so I needed to incorporate that into the story somehow

masterlist + requests

reminder: requests are open :)

The stress of graduating soon as well as having lost most of your friends was tearing at you. 

There were very few people you could always depend on. You had become friends with Kevin first by having to work on a project together for biology class. You had gotten along so well that you became friends and he later introduced you to his other friend Jacob. Of course you got close to him, too. He was the most likeable person you knew. Both of them were absolutely hilarious and never failed to make the corners of your mouth go up.

However, life just felt so overwhelming at times and that would lead to you withdrawing from any social interactions. Jacob and Kevin seemed to be the only ones to understand that it didn't mean anything personal and that it was something you needed to do. And when you wanted to talk or hang out again they were always more than glad to do so.

Though you hated being in school, your home life was somehow even worse. Your parents were always fighting and yelling at each other and you often hid in your room trying to ignore them as tears were streaming down your face.

Those were the times when you seeked closeness to your friends. You never told them what about your struggles but your silence was enough to make them understand.

One night, your parents were fighting particularly hard.

'You never do anything around the house. How am I supposed to do everything around here?? You couldn't even do the laundry like I asked you to. Was that too much to ask?' your mom confronted your dad. Her eyes were glistening and you could see her body shaking. The wild look in your dad's eyes indicated that he was heavily intoxicated.

'You think I have it easy, huh?? I go to work all day, EVERYDAY, so that you can live. I don't know if you've ever noticed but kids are fucking expensive!' It felt like he was just challenging your mom to contradict him. His words made you flinch.

'She is your daughter. Of course we have to feed her. That is our job as parents.'

'I NEVER WANTED THAT JOB!' He slammed his fist on the table. Spit was coming out of his mouth. 'I told you to abort the child but you wanted to keep her. Look where we are now. You got yourself into this mess. Y/n should have never been born. Things would be a lot easier.'

You were struggling to breathe as you realized that you were the cause of your parents unhappiness. Everything felt like crashing down and you just felt the urgent need to get away.

You had been hiding on the stairs so you got up, ran down and dashed to the door.

Suddenly, a glass was smashed against the wall beside you.

'WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?' your father bellowed. He slowly stood up and began walking towards you but your mom grabbed him by the arm. He slapped her hands away, accidently slapping her.

You opened the door and started running. It was raining and the air was freezing cold but you knew you couldn't go back in. Tears were mixing with the rain drops as you ran through your neighborhood. It was like your legs had a mind of their own as they kept on running further and further. Before you knew it you were standing in front of Jacob's house.

It was already late but you could still see a dim light burning in his room. Since you had left in a hurry you hadn't had a chance to take your phone with you. You resorted in throwing the smallest pebbles you could find against his window. The rest of his family was probably already sleeping and you didn't want to wake them up by ringing the doorbell.

The curtains were pushed aside and a face appeared shortly. After a few seconds Jacob opened the door.

'Y/n? What are you doing here?' He rubbed his eyes in confusion.

You stayed silent because you were struggling to form any words that would accurately describe what happened.

'Are you okay?' he asked worriedly as you didn't move. Not trusting your voice you just nodded your head. You didn't want to fall apart in front of him.

'Are you sure?' Jacob asked again, doubting that you were completely fine if you were standing in front of his house after midnight.

'No,' the emotions came spilling out of your mouth. You ran into Jacob's open arms and buried your head in his chest. Tears were streaming down your face. He embraced you tightly and you fisted his sweater and began sobbing uncontrollably. He stroked your head in a consoling way.

'Hey… It's wet out here. We should go inside,' he suggested and put an arm around your waist to lead you inside.

He gave you one of his sweaters and showed you the bathroom.

You blow dried your soaking wet hair and changed. While the hot air was blowing in your face, you were feeling empty and exhausted.

What had you done to deserve a life like this? Well the only thing you had done was to be born but apparently that was already bad enough.

When your hair was mostly dried, you went to his room. He patted the space next to him, inviting you to sit down. You rested your head on his shoulders and you sat there while Jacob was humming a quiet tune.

'Do you want to talk about it?' he gently asked you after a while. You shook your head.

'I just want to forget everything,' you mumble.

'I can make you forget.' You were confused by what he meant so you turned your head to look at him.

He cupped your cheek in one hand and slowly came closer. He was staring straight at your lips. You closed your eyes and leaned in.

The kiss started very simple. At first they were some soft short kisses, then they became longer and you started engaging your tongues. Hands began roaming and before you knew he was laying on top of you, placing open mouthed kisses on your neck and leaving hickeys.

He helped you get rid of your (his) sweater and slowly started massaging your breasts. He lightly brushed his palms over your nipples which made them stand up hard.

He experementally licked over one of them and your back arched in reaction. While taking turns sucking on your nipples he pinched the free one to keep both sides excited.

You were embarrassed by how much these simple actions affected you. You had tried playing with your breast while masturbating before but it had never really done anything for you. Jacob seemed to know what exactly to do to get you squirming at his touch.

He seemed contented by your intense reactions and smiled encouragingly at you.

His mouth started to wander lower and lower, leaving wet kisses on your rib cage and belly. When he arrived at the shorts, he made eye contact with you as if to ask you for permission. You nodded and he swiftly pulled them down.

He intertwined his fingers with yours as he slowly started licking your wetness. His nose brushed against your clit and you moaned loudly, squeezing his hands tightly.

As he started fucking you with his tongue, he let go of your hands and instead began twisting your nipples. The pleasure you felt in two different parts of your body was exhilarating.

You didn't know how long you lay there but Jacob took his time in making you feel good. He didn't stop until you had your first orgasm. It made your entire body shake and you tried to keep yourself from being too loud.

In return, you wanted to pleasure him now but he (gently) slapped your hand away at your attempt to go near his bulge.

'No, let me make you feel good. I'm already hard enough.'

And that was true. As he pulled down his underwear, his hard cock sprang out. Pre-cum was already dripping from the tip and it looked eager for some action.

After rolling on a condom, Jacob positioned himself behind you and pulled your back against his chest. Because he had prepared you enough, his cock slid in with ease and both of you let out a satisfied moan.

The pace started off slow and you turned your head to involve him in a wet kiss. As he picked up the tempo you let your body fall onto the mattress, only your butt left sticking up in the air.

You were pulling at the bed sheets and tried to drown out your moans in his pillows. You wanted to be loud and scream his name but his family was sleeping and you didn't want to risk being caught and get him in trouble. His quiet groans were enough for you to know he was enjoying this interaction just as much as you were.

At one point you let your ass fall down and you lay there completely flat on the bed. No problem. He just parted your ass cheeks and thrusted into you like this.

His cock hit places deep inside you and riled you up even more. When you started clenching around him, he picked up his pace and his thrusts became more irregular.

He came hard and you regretted not being able to see his face scrunched up in complete bliss.

Instead of ending it there, he slid first two and then three fingers inside you and moved them fast while stimulating your clit with the other hand.

The wet noises that came out of your pussy were an indicator of just how good you felt. Unable to control yourself, juices started squirting out of you but Jacob didn't pull out his hands until you were done.

You were breathing heavily against the mattress. You didn't dare turn around because you felt embarrassed about having squirted.

'You did so well,' Jacob encouraged you while rubbing your back. He then left to get paper towels to clean both of you up.

To say you had left a mess would be an understatement. His sheets were completely drenched in your fluids and even Jacob was wet all over. He didn't seem to mind though and just calmly cleaned everything (and everyone) up.

He then pulled you close and spooned you from behind.

'I hope I could make you forget. You should know that there are always people by your side that love you.'

As you were falling asleep in his warm embrace you thought you heard him mumble: 'Just like I do.'

[corie-the-writer]

Come As You Are - Prologue

Prologue ---

Four Years Ago --

Hannah Walker stood behind the bar with her book displayed out in front of her as she was waiting for the beer and liquor to be delivered to the strip club that she had currently worked at. The dark haired woman had never in a million years pictured herself as a stripper or bartender at night while she attended college through the day to get her final credits to earn her bachelor's degree. When her parents had passed away almost two years ago, she had put her college life on hold, not having enough credits to graduate with the rest of her class. She could have blamed anyone under the sun for the circumstances that life had thrown at her, but she knew that it would do no good. She took time to grieve the loss of her family, while working at a small coffee shop to make ends meet while she coped with this new life that was thrown at her. 

That is where she met Tamila, who had told her that her boyfriend managed the strip club, and told her that she would be a good fit because of her dark hair, piercing green eyes and curved but slender body. Hannah had laughed off the compliment but when she had went home she had been curious as to how much a dancer could make in a night. 

She had a few bills that she couldn't catch up on due to the cost of college. She had thought about transferring colleges to finish up her credits, but she would have to spend longer finishing out her work if she had decided to transfer and Hannah did not want to chance losing any of her earned credits. 

The next time she had spoke to Tamila, she had sat the spunky redheaded woman down and told her about her situation, wondering if her boyfriend would be willing to work with her and Tamila had agreed to speak to Tyrone. She was surprised that Tamilia had shot a quick text to her boyfriend, and he had agreed to sit down and talk to the woman later that evening. 

Once Hannah had sat down with Tyrone, she was extremely grateful that the man had agreed to hire her as a bartender at first, knowing that the tips would be hers out right, that she would be paid under the table so it would not effect her chances of becoming a teacher once she was able to graduate from college. Hannah had never been more thankful for the understanding and compassion they had shown to her. 

"Girl...you about done with that college shit?" Hannah heard the familiar voice of Tiffany, a dancer who was a lot to handle majority of the time. 

"I have final exams coming up in about a month. Hopefully then I can graduate." Hannah explained as Tiffany plopped herself in a chair, "Need something to drink?" Hannah questioned politely. 

"Nah sweetie, I'm good." Tiffany answered, "Have you seen Brittany anywhere?" Tiffany questioned as she looked to her nails, "She was suppose to meet early to go over a dance routine." 

"No, I haven't seen her." Hannah glanced to the blonde woman and then turned her attention back to the book in front of her. 

At first, when Hannah had started working, there were a few girls that felt extremely threatened according to Tamilia, so they were incredibly catty towards her, but after a while, most of the women had grown to like the dark haired woman. A couple of the women had even taught Hannah how to dance so she could make a little extra cash a couple of nights a week which had helped her catch up on bills, and was now able to live comfortably without worrying. 

"Are you dancing tonight or bartending?" Tiffany questioned. 

"Just bartending." Hannah replied not taking her eyes off the book as she answered, completely missing Tyrone and two unfamiliar faces walking into the bar room. 

"Tiffany. Hannah." Tyrone spoke. 

Hannah still didn't bother taking her eyes off the book as she greeted her friend, "Hey Ty...still waiting on the delivery." Hannah stated as she flipped the page. 

"She's got final exams coming up..." Tyrone's explanation had the woman lifting her head and noticed the older gentleman with silver hair and piercing blue eyes, noticing the police badge displayed on his hip, and then the other man who was African American and rather tall, with the same badge on display, "These men have some questions for you, don't be a hassle Tiffany." Tyrone explained, "I'm gonna go call everyone in..." Tyrone added and Hannah furrowed her eyebrows at the sight of Tyrone's face noticing that something was extremely wrong. 

"I'm Sargent Hank Voight, this is Detective Kevin Atwater..." The older man introduced himself and his co-worker. 

"I'm Hannah..." Hannah spoke gently, looking down to her book to mark the page before shutting it and looking to the Sargent, "Is everything okay?" Hannah questioned. 

"We were wondering when the last time Brittany Lincoln was seen?" Hank questioned as the Detective took Tiffany a few feet away at a table. 

"Uhm..." Hannah thought for a moment, "I wasn't here last night, but I think she was scheduled to work, so the last time I saw her was Wednesday evening." Hannah explained, "Is she okay?" Hannah questioned quietly.

"Unfortunately no. She was murdered last night." 

"Oh my god..." Hannah frowned deeply. 

"Has there been anyone who has shown particular interest in Brittney while she has been here? Has she mentioned anything about a boyfriend, problems she was having with someone?" Hank questioned. 

Hank Voight had been under a lot of stress with three murdered women who had ties to local strip clubs that had shown up across Chicago within the last week. The bodies had been tortured and assaulted, so Voight realized quickly there was a serial killer on the loose and he needed to get ahead of the person doing this. He had split the team to check all three backgrounds of the women, and when he walked into Links Club, he did not expect to see the dark haired woman behind the bar studying. He especially did not expect to stumble over her beauty and the instant pull he had towards her. 

The man noticed that the woman was wearing a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt with her dark hair tied into a messy bun on the top of her head. He had to clear his throat for a moment when Hannah began to speak again. 

"No, I wasn't really that close with her to know details of her personal life. She was sort of private when it came to that stuff, not wanting to mix work with her personal life." Hannah cringed when Tiffany began to sob, feeling like she wasn't close enough with Brittany to have that sort of reaction, "Brittany hung out with Tamila a lot I think and a new girl that just started here, uhm..Candace." Hannah pointed out, "They might know more than I do about any of that." 

Hank gave a nod in understanding, jotting down the names that Hannah had given to him, "Has there been any issues here at work?" Hank questioned. 

"I mean not that I've noticed. Tyrone tries to keep me at the bar as much as he can unless one of the girls doesn't show up, but I haven't seen anything out of the ordinary and no one has really said anything." Hannah explained trying to think back of the past couple of weeks. 

"If you can think of anything else, please, don't hestiate to call." Hank stated, handing her his business card and taking a pen from the bar counter and scribbling down his personal cell phone number on the back. 

Hank wasn't quite sure what had possessed him to write down his personal number, but he had decided to just go with it as he excused himself to speak with Tyrone in his office. 

Hannah looked to the card and slipped the paper into her back pocket. Her mind was replaying every night she had worked, wondering if she had overlooked something. It was hard to tell because the bouncers were extremely good on keeping the women protected from men who had drank too much and got a little too handsy, then she remembered that she had taken the trash out and saw Brittany in an argument with a new bouncer that was around their age. Making her way out from behind the bar, Hannah headed towards Tyrone's office. 

"Look, we have reason to believe that there is a serial killer targeting dancers. We've had three  women's bodies come up within the past week." Hannah frowned at Voight's voice and gently knocked on the door. 

"What is it Hannah?" Tyrone questioned as the woman opened the door a little. 

"I uh...I just remembered I saw Brittany and that new bouncer arguing outside Wednesday night." Hannah explained looking to Voight, "I didn't think anything of it because Brittany gets a little crabby the later it gets, but I just found it odd because he's sort of distant and cold, unlike the other guys." Hannah stated. 

"Can you get me any information you have on file of this guy?" Hank questioned to Tyrone. 

"Yeah, absolutely." Tyrone answered opening his desk drawer, "He is suppose to be at work tonight." Tyrone replied handing Voight the file. 

"Look, we are going to have to people a couple of people undercover here. We have zero leads on what this person's motives are, what their next move is going to be." Hank explained and Tyrone nodded his head in understanding. 

"Whatever you guys need, we are more than willing to help as much as we can." Tyrone stated. 

Hannah stood awkwardly for a moment, realizing the severity of the situation that was happening in Chicago, feeling so badly about the women who lost their lives. What she didn't realize was how much her life would be changing moving forward now that Hank Voight had entered her life.

[justmypartner]

Make it Work: Chapter 2

Summary: When offered a permanent position with the FBI, Hailey agrees to take it under one condition: Jay comes too. As their personal lives and work lives begin to change, the two partners find it increasingly difficult to navigate their complex relationship and manage their feelings for one another.

Writer’s Note: The goodbye chapter! I’m adding an endnote to this chapter, so look out for that! This is my first chapter with a tag list, so feel free to reach out if you would like to be added!

Tagging: @angelsjedi​

Read on AO3 or below

Jay sat on the bench in the locker room playing with the zipper on his bag. He bit the inside of his cheek, distracted by the pulsing drip of the faucet in the corner. A few days ago, he had a video conference with the agent in charge of the task-force. They were able to build a rapport, and he officially accepted the offer. The meeting went well and the two hit it off immediately, bonding over their backgrounds in the military. That part went over easy, but they still needed to break the news to the team. He thought over all of his time with Intelligence and the many memories he had made over the years. Telling their family they were leaving was going to be difficult. He had been so lost in thought he didn’t even notice Hailey walk in.

“Nervous?” She asked, as she poked her head around the corner of the lockers, startling Jay slightly.

“Eh not nervous.. nostalgic maybe. Just thinking a lot about the different memories I’ve made here,” he said, looking up at Hailey with a half-smile.

“End of an era,” she replied, shooting him a sympathetic grin. “C’mon, let’s catch him before he heads home,” she told him, nodding her head towards the door.

When the two knocked on the door frame of Voight’s office, he immediately ushered them in with a small wave. He stood to his feet as they both entered the space, shutting the door behind them. He sent them both a puzzled look as silence filled the room like something they could reach out and touch.

“Okay, what’s going on you two?” He questioned, urging them to explain the unplanned meeting.

“Sarge, we have some news for you,” Hailey told him, pausing briefly as she mentally prepared her next words. “I know I haven’t said much about my time with the FBI, but it was actually much more beneficial than I could have ever imagined. Since I’ve been back in Chicago, they have been reaching out to me about maybe making it a permanent thing. It all started out as hypothetical conversations, but last week I got an official offer to work on a joint-level task-force. It’s in New York, and I’ve decided to accept it,” she said, her eyes meeting his then immediately finding their way to the floor. Jay took the silence as an opportunity to further the news.

“They also extended the offer to me, and I’m going to be taking it as well,” he admitted, his gaze holding steady with Voight’s.

He was silent for a moment. They noticed his tongue poking around in his cheek as his stare fell to the floor. They gave each other a small glance before looking back at their Sergeant, desperately waiting for his reaction.

“When do you leave?” He asked them, a familiar levelness in his voice.

“Two weeks, sir,” Jay responded back.

“You’re going to be working on the task-force together?” He asked, pacing the floor behind his desk, looking up as he listened for their response.

“Yes, Sarge,” Hailey told him.

“Sounds like a great opportunity. I’m happy for you both,” he said with a slight nod. The partners cut their eyes at one another, silently questioning their boss’s response.

“Uh, that’s all?” Jay questioned, expecting a bigger reaction out of the Sergeant.

“Look, I’m not going to stop you from an opportunity like this. The feds do great work and you both are talented at what you do. I’ve watched your partnership develop over the years, and it’s undeniable the connection you two have. You work well together, plain and simple,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “This unit has endured a lot of loss and a lot of pain these past few years. Losing you both, my only detectives, it’s going to leave a pretty significant scar on this unit, but we’ll figure it out like we always do. You both have carried your positions well and you’ve even helped me learn a few things along the way. I like to think that the learning went both ways, and I hope you’re able to apply your time here out there. It won’t be the same without you two, but I am grateful to have watched you both grow into what you are today,” he finished, shifting his focus between the two detectives.

Jay noticed tears in Hailey’s eyes as he felt a sting in his own, fighting back emotion. Hailey walked forward, embracing the Sergeant tightly as she whispered her thanks to him. As they pulled away, Jay reached his hand out. Voight grabbed his hand, wrapping his other arm around Jay’s back in an embrace.

“Thank you, Sarge.. for everything,” he said softly as the man nodded his head.

“Look out for each other,” he told them on their way out of his office. They looked at each other, a silent affirmation being sent between them before nodding and walking towards the stairs.

The next day they went in to work early. They stopped to pick up coffee and donuts for everyone, hoping it would soften the blow as they delivered the news to the rest of the team. Hailey had brought in donuts on her first day, so she saw it fitting to bring them again as she said goodbye.

It was quiet in the bullpen that early in the morning. Hailey’s eyes darted across her computer screen as she checked her email. Jay was sat on the corner of her desk, looking over at her focused frown, an expression of hers he had grown endeared by. He noticed her index finger nervously tapping the table top, the sound seeming much louder in the quiet room.

“Uh, can you not do that?” Jay asked teasingly, brows furrowing together as he squinted over at her ticking finger.

“Uh, can you get your own desk?” She challenged back.

“Your desk and my butt have developed a very close relationship over the years. I’m only spending my last days preserving that relationship,” he replied smugly.

“That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” she said through laughs, crumpling a piece of paper from her desk and throwing it at him.

Just as he was about to throw it back at her, muffled voices and laughter filled the stairwell. The two of them stood, making their way to Kevin’s desk where they had put the coffee and donuts. They also put the case board beside the desk, with the words “Courtesy of the FBI” written across it.

“Good Mo- What’s this about?” Adam asked with a look of confusion, stopping in his tracks on the stairs. Kim and Kevin stopped alongside him, sharing similar expressions. The two partners just stood there, weakly smiling at their colleagues. The three of them remained on the stairs, silently trying to piece together what was going on. As they hesitantly continued their way up into the bullpen, the smiles on Hailey and Jay’s faces faded as they prepared to give their friends the news.

“We have to tell you something,” Hailey said quietly. She looked over at Jay who looked back with a nod before taking over.

“We have both been offered positions with the FBI. The positions are in New York, and we’ve decided to take them,” he said, flinching slightly as if the words were going to come back and hit him in the face.

They were all silent a moment, letting the information process.

“Wait, so you’re going together?” Adam asked, raising a brow. They nodded in response. The 3 officers locked eyes, sharing a guileful look between one another.

“How dare you leave me with these two,” Kim finally said, pointing at Adam and Kevin. The two shot her offended looks. “I’m just kidding. Congrats you guys, that’s such a great opportunity. We’re really going to miss you, though,” she told them, wrapping an arm around Hailey and Jay’s necks to bring them into a group hug.

“Man, I didn’t know the FBI did package deals. We better keep ourselves open,” Kevin said looking over at Adam with a laugh before hugging the two detectives.

“When are you guys leaving?” Adam asked as he hugged the two.

“Two weeks,” Hailey told him.

“Okay, well we’re throwing a party at Molly’s before you go,” he insisted, Kim and Kevin nodding in agreement.

- - - -

Despite incessant protests from Jay and Hailey, their friends demanded there be a going away party. So two weeks later, the day before their flights, what seemed like half of Chicago met at Molly’s to send them off. The night was long as they made their rounds saying goodbye to all of their friends from Med, 51, and the 21st. As the night went on and many headed home, Jay finally got a moment to himself at a table in the back. From the corner of his eye, he noticed a familiar red-head making his way over towards him.

“So, Agent Halstead, how ya feeling?” Will questioned, sliding himself onto the chair across from Jay.

“Stop it,” Jay replied starkly, bringing the beer he had been nursing for the past hour to his lips.

“What? That is what they’re going to call you right?” Will questioned with a chuckle.

“You know what I’m going to miss the least about Chicago?” He asked his brother with a raised brow.

“What’s that?”

“Your ugly mug,” Jay teased.

“Oh, yeah right. You wish you got my looks.”

Jay glowered at him, his eyes catching the attention of a familiar blonde at the bar. She was sitting with Trudy who had her locked in what looked like a pretty deep conversation. He noticed the way Hailey’s hand rested under her chin and the way her dimple would appear every now and then as she’d flash a grin. He snapped out of this gaze when Will called his name from across the table.

“Earth to Jay?” Will questioned with a smirk.

“Yeah- sorry, what?” Jay asked, bringing his attention back to his brother.

“I was just- when did that happen between you two anyway?” He asked, turning his attention over his shoulder to look at Hailey.

“What? You got it wrong, man. Nothing happened. We’re friends.. partners,” Jay said, taking a sip of his drink.

“Yeah, right. I know you, and I know how much you could care less about New York. I mean how many times did you visit me when I was there?” He asked, holding up his hand to count on his fingers. “Oh, that’s right. None. Now you’re willingly moving there for a job with the feds? You’re not doing this for you, you’re doing it for her. Not that I blame you because I see the way you two look at each other, but c’mon at least admit it to yourself,” Will said straightly, causing Jay to shift slightly in his chair.

“Shut up,” Jay scowled, earning a light head shake from his brother.

“Whatever. I’ll leave you with this, don’t wait too long to figure out whatever it is that’s going on there. I haven’t had much luck in the dating game, but I do know that nobody has ever looked at me the way that girl looks at you. There was a time when you once told me to get it together. Now I’m telling you to take your own advice. Don’t screw that one up, dummy,” Will told him. Jay just shook his head at him, standing to hug his brother.

“I am going to miss you,” Jay told him as he wrapped his arms around him.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll miss you too, brother,” Will said, pounding a light fist against the man’s back. “I love you, little bro,” Will told him as he grabbed his jacket to head out.

“Yeah, yeah love you too,” Jay responded back as he stood, finishing off the last sip of his beer. As Will made his way out of the bar, Jay prepared to head out as well. He made his way over to Hailey before stepping out.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt-“ he got out before Trudy cut him off.

“If you were really sorry, you wouldn’t have interrupted. I know leaving me is breaking your heart, but you’re going to have to get over it eventually,” Trudy teased in her typical sarcastic tone. Jay flashed her a toothy smile.

“Aw Trudy Platt, I’m going to miss you the most of all,” he told her, leaning forward to place a brief kiss on her cheek.

“Jay Halstead, my husband is right over there, you’d better watch yourself,” she replied, pushing on his chest. He threw his hands up jokingly and backed away slightly.

“Anyway, Hailey, do you need a ride home? I’m heading out,” he asked her.

“No, I’m okay. Kept the drinking pretty tame tonight, thanks though,” she responded.

“Didn’t offer me a ride home,” Trudy said, raising her brows at him. He shook his head with a laugh, part of him already missing her antics.

“I’m not even touching that one,” he said with a smirk. “Anyway, goodnight ladies. Sarge, I really am going to miss you,” he told her leaning in for one last hug.

“Yeah, yeah, you too Romeo,” she replied, hugging him back. Hailey giggled lightly throughout the interaction, telling him goodnight back as he made his way towards the door.

As he reached the door, he turned back to see the two in deep conversation once again. He couldn’t help but wonder what had them so engaged, but he continued outside to head home. As he walked to his car, he thought back on Will’s advice. He knew he had a point, but he also knew it wasn’t the right time to figure that out just yet. Regardless, he drove home that night with a million what ifs bouncing around in his head.

Endnote: For starters, let’s take a moment to mourn deskstead rip lol. I just wanted to add this as a reminder that I’m writing in third-person limited, so we’re going to be somewhat left in the dark when it comes to Hailey’s perspective unless she outwardly expresses it. For that reason, I want to highlight that conversation between Hailey and Trudy. What could they have been discussing hmm.. Keep that in the back of your mind for now as it may just prove important later on ;) Anyway, thank you so much for reading!!

[wonglix]

➺ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʏᴢ: ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀᴄᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ s/ᴏ ɪɴ ᴀɴ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴠɪᴇᴡ

↬ angsty

sangyeon

sangyeon is quite professional, so i think that him mentioning his s/o wouldn't only catch him but the others off guard as well. it would probably happen while he was bantering with his members. he somewhat forgot that there were cameras everywhere and that he couldn't mention you without any consequences.

their interview was led astray a while ago, the chaotic energy of all of them redirecting their attention from the questions to other random thoughts and banter. sunwoo and eric were telling a particularly embarrassing story about sangyeon, only for him to snap and jokingly scold them. it somehow ended in a small exasperated fight, each and every one of them trying to one-up the others by telling progressively more awkward stories. at some point haknyeon told a story and when he mentioned a "friend", - that friend being you - sangyeon chimed in to correct him, "y/n's still my girlfriend/boyfriend, you know?". they all suddenly went quiet, and it took sangyeon a while to catch on. he leaned back in his chair, hands rubbing his face in frustration when he did. he definitely screwed up, and he can only hope that it won't cause any repercussions for neither him nor you.

↬ you can find the other members under the cut!

jacob

jacob's a sweetheart and i feel like he'd genuinely feel bad about having to keep your relationship a secret. not only for your sake but also for the sake of the fans. it feels wrong to keep such a big part of himself from them. he didn't plan on mentioning you, and it was a genuine mistake on his part, but maybe, just maybe it wasn't that bad. you're his most significant concern though, so his next steps would depend on your feelings on the matter.

he didn't mean to and he knows that he will be in a lot of trouble. they were playing a little game as part of the interview and it was jacob's turn. his objective was to list all things important to him. your name left his lips almost automatically before he went on to list his members, deobi and his family. he sat back down to let the next member take over, not even realising the looks his members and managers were giving him. he gasped suddenly when he realised what he just said, eyes frantically searching for his manager's in hopes of a possible explanation that didn't expose you two. as much as he wanted to be honest and open about you two, he would never go behind your back like that on purpose, and he hopes you know that.

younghoon

you were actually present when it happened, younghoon having spent the entire morning trying to convince you to tag along to their scheduled interview. you agreed reluctantly, the opportunity to spend more time with your boyfriend being too good to pass up after all. you two never really talked about going public, so neither of you knew what to do once younghoon mentioned you.

younghoon kept getting distracted by you while you were sitting next to their managers, a proud smile on his face every time your eyes met. he missed you so much, so being able to spend even a little bit more time together was enough to get him all giggly and happy. the interviewer obviously caught onto his behaviour, asking why he was this excited. not even thinking about where he was his smile brightens, "i'm just glad y/n's here with us today." his smile falters immediately, eyes blown wide. he looks over at you, the shocked expression on your face doing nothing to help him figure out how he could get out of this. maybe it was time for the two of you to discuss going public after all.

hyunjae

it wasn't during an interview per se, but he was doing a live with kevin and changmin. they were answering questions, and he accidentally let your name slip while he was talking. he kind of just froze, his eyes focused on the plethora of comments rushing by. the others were quick to intervene though, coming up with a believable story that most of the viewers accepted as truth.

they were talking and joking with the viewers, kevin currently telling a story that happened not too long ago when hyunjae saw a question directed at him. he let kevin finish his story, taking over the talking, "my necklace? oh, i got it as a gift." he answered while showing off the pendant. the comment section was filled with questions as to who bought it for him. without giving it a second thought he simply said, "y/n bought it for me, actually.". he kind of just stopped when he realised the tension building in the room, his eyes shooting up to look at the comments. it felt like thousands of comments were rushing by, "who's y/n????" littering the comment section in seconds. kevin piped up at that, coming up with a surprisingly convincing story about how "y/n" was just a friend of theirs, a former trainee that left and still kept in contact with them. changmin helped out too, telling fake stories about their trainee years with "y/n". the comments soon went back to normal, demanding more pre-debut stories instead.

juyeon

he was all too aware of the consequences and struggled that came with dating as an idol. so far he's been doing great, always able to meet up with you in secret without raising any suspicions. as much as he loved you and wanted to declare his undying love for you for the entire world to hear, your safety and privacy always came first. his excuse was rather weak, which resulted in the company having to release a statement to calm the masses.

they were joking around with the interviewer, the atmosphere laid back and comfortable. they all kept poking fun at each other, laughs and giggles filling the interview area. going back to the questions, juyeon was the first one to be asked about his ideal first date. during an absolute no brainer, he looked confident, cocky almost while talking about your first date with him in great detail. the interviewer caught up on his very detailed story and asked if he had ever taken anyone out for a date like that. he just nodded, gasps escaping some of his members. the interviewer obviously took the chance to press for more answers, throwing names of female idols around to get a reaction out of him. juyeon shook his head furiously, waving his hands around to deny. "no, no, no, not a date like that. i went out with some of my members!" his voice was obviously panicked, and he knew that he really did it this time.

kevin

as much as he likes to be the funny guy and overshare from time to time, there are certain boundaries. your relationship was definitely one of them. his main concern was your comfort and safety. as much as he liked to believe that people would be supportive, he's also all too aware of the few extremely toxic people that would make it hard for you.

they were being asked simple questions and unfortunately, the way too overused "are any of you guys in a relationship?" was one of the questions asked. kevin doesn't know what made him say yes, especially when he felt his members look at him in shock, the manager letting out a gasp behind the camera. maybe he was tired of playing pretend, perhaps he just wanted to finally be able to talk about you freely. he just sits there and feels the regret wash over him. what was he supposed to do now? he hasn't even talked about going public with you. panic starts to settle within him, his hands getting sweaty. he couldn't do much, since it all depended on his managers and the producers from now on.

chanhee

i feel like he wouldn't really slip up like that. he probably would accidentally mention you in a different context, like he would forget to silence his phone. when it rang during the interview, the interviewer would ask who it was. chanhee would nonchalantly reply with "oh, it's just y/n." he's really caring and would see his little slip-up as a danger to your safety. he'd probably make sure that it would get cut out.

the interview was going great, they were having a lot of fun and got along quite well with the interviewer. they started talking about gifts and what the last gift was they'd received, and chanhee instinctively lifted his arm, showing off his bracelet. the interviewer complimented it, and when he asked chanhee if one of the members got it for him, he shook his head, "no, y/n got it for me.". only when the interviewer raised his eyebrows and asked, "y/n? who's that?" did chanhee realise what had just happened. his mind was racing and he spurted out the first thing that came to mind, "oh, y/n's a friend. i've known them for years now." he was hoping that he was convincing enough and made sure to remember to apologise to you later.

changmin

changmin often replied to questions with somewhat questionable answers, but blurting out your name during an interview was quite possibly the worst one yet. it kinda just slipped out and he quite frankly had no idea how to handle the situation. sangyeon or jacob might have to step in trying to either come up with a somewhat convincing story or avert the attention to a different member while changmin just sits there, dumbfounded at his own mistake.

the producers had set up the questions in a way to give the members a chance to woo their fans, so it turned out to be quite surprising when changmin blurted "y/n!" instead of a proper answer. it's like his brain stopped working for a second and you were the first person that came to mind. his eyes went wide, looking at his members for help. none of them really knew how to react in a situation like this appropriately, so they just resorted to brushing it off, pretending like it didn't happen. he was pretty quiet for the rest of the schedule, letting the others do the talking and only ever speaking when he was asked directly. he kept thinking about you and how it would affect you if the producers decide to leave his mistake in.

haknyeon

some part of him wanted to go public, to talk about you in lives and show off the cute pictures you took together. another- more rational - part of him knew that it would be best for you as well as for him and his members if you two kept quiet. as much as he got scared when he mentioned you, he was somewhat convinced that his company would take care of it. there was no way they'd just let an interview like that get aired without editing out his slip up, right?

he was currently seated in an empty conference room, waiting for his manager and ceo to come to talk to him. they've never been too enthusiastic about the fact that he was in a relationship. still, they agreed on letting him do his thing as long as he made sure to keep it from the public. haknyeon knew he screwed up and spent the time waiting with trying to come up with arguments to keep them from making him break up with you. at the end of the day, he knew that he was in trouble but there was no way hed just break up with you like that. they could edit the part out and leave it at that, the public still unaware of your relationship.

sunwoo

he prefers keeping you two a secret, and he has made it clear from the very beginning of your relationship that he doesn't want to go public. maybe someday, but definitely not any time soon. you were alright with it, the thought of angry fans and your privacy being taken away enough to agree with sunwoo on the matter. when he accidentally mentioned you while telling a story, his heart stopped for a second, and he was panicking on the inside.

they were telling a story, when sunwoo decided to take over. "yeah, and when we went back to the dorms, y/n was already there, it was-". he was interrupted when he felt someone whack his shoulder from behind, turning to snap at them. he was met with shocked expressions and worried eyes, confusion taking over sunwoo's features. "why are you mentioning y/n? are you crazy?" sangyeon hissed at him, a frown etched onto the leader's face. sunwoo gasped, his hand coming up to cover his mouth. he looked back at the producers in panic, a begging look on his face.

eric

he definitely panics inside and definitely resorts to trying to talk his way out of it, stammering out excuse after excuse. he tries to stay calm and collected, figuring that people would definitely question him if he would be overly hysterical when delivering his explanation. he doesn't want to go public, enjoying the privacy you two have, so he'd try his best to get out of this dilemma.

"then y/n came in, which startled sunwoo so bad that he accidentally smacked juyeon right in the face and-" his story was interrupted by the interviewer who curiously asked who this "y/n" was. eric's first reaction was a meek, "what?" once it clicked, he let out a laugh trying to come off as nonchalant while explaining himself, "oh! y/n! y/n's a new staff member at our company, and i've known them for a while now. we're quite close with them, you see." he looked over at his members for a second, a helpless look in his eyes. some of them decided to chime in and help him out, keeping up the narrative of you being a staff member and nothing more.

[percywinchester27]

A lot like ‘Us’ (Part-36)

Word count: 5.6K

Pairing: Sam X Reader AU

Warnings: Feels, PTSD, fluff

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

A/N: The story employs two different timelines. The present timeline for the story takes place in 2014. Please let me know what you guys think :)

Beta: @deanssweetheart23​​​​. Love you babe <3

A lot like ‘Us’ masterlist

“I’ve decided I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m going home.”

“Jack!” You grabbed him by his elbow just as he turned. “You can’t abandon me!”

He looked a bit terrified. “I can’t do this, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes. “Sure you can. Jody is awesome and you’re so cute. I know she will like you.”

Jack did not look convinced. A tiny part of you was nervous with him. He was about to meet his girlfriend's mom for the first time. After calling Sam to tell him that you were up for the picnic, the wild optimism in his voice had you wearing out the carpet of your living room, freaking out about messing it up- for Sam and for Max. As a last resort, you had knocked on your neighbour’s door and convinced Jack to accompany you. As it turned out, Claire had been after him for a while to meet her family, and Jack being Jack was worrying the hell out of it. 

Now, you stood in front of the gate of your building, waiting for Sam to come pick you up, and not letting each other chicken out of this situation. That’s what friends did. 

“It’s not just Jody,” Jack admitted. “It’s also your husband.”

Your heart still lurched at the word. “Sam? What about him?”

Jack groaned, rolling his head. “I don’t know. You’re our Y/N… and then suddenly we find out you’re married. I really want to like him, but he’ll take you away from us.”

You were touched by his words, and the innocence in them. “No one can take me away. In fact, this is just my grand scheme to make sure that you’re stuck with me for life now. I’ve been slowly getting you hooked to the cookies. Soon there will come a day when you’ll realise you can't live without them. And then you just can’t get rid of me. It’ll be too late.”

Jack smiled at you and slung his arm around your soldier. “It’s not the cookies we’re getting addicted to, it’s you.”

A car made the swift turn and came to a stop next to the gate, right in front of you- Sam’s sleek, black Mercedes. 

Jack let out a low whistle. “I take it all back. You get back together with this guy and adopt me. Max is so much nicer than Kevin anyway. I'll share a room with him. I’ll do the dishes everyday.”

You were crying because of laughter by the time Sam opened his door and stepped out. 

“You alright?” He asked, face startled but amused.

Nodding and gasping for breath, you made the hasty introductions. Jack gave his patented customary hand raise of a greeting with palm facing forward. Sam was going for a handshake but seeing Jack’s wave, he did the same with a smile.

From the backseat, Max called out your name. Without caring about the rest, you opened the door and got in besides him, ruffling his hair.

“Hey, Y/N, aren’t you riding shotgun?” Jack asked, voice restrained to appear casual. 

“Nah, you got it. I’m going to hangout in the back with Max.”

Jack might be looking daggers at you for throwing him under the bus, but you knew he’d live. Sam was excellent company. In the next fifteen minutes of the ride, you were proven right, because Jack was busy discussing the mysterious circumstances under which Edgar Allan Poe died, and how The murders in Rue Morgue was actually his best work. Sam was exceptionally well read and Jack was in his element with literature discussions. 

You turned to Max, showing him your basket. “Look, what I got for you- your favourite cookies and a pie!”

He let out a squeal of delight and you snuck a cookie out for him. 

The car was spotless, rich upholstery gleaming, but you knew Sam couldn’t care less if Max got crumbs on the seats. Right on track, Max dug into the cookie, not bothering about the mess. Secretly, it pleased you that you were beginning to decode their relationship.

“I didn’t know what the others would like, so I baked muffins and some savoury croissants. You think that’s okay?”

“Stop gnawing over it, Y/N,” Sam said. “Everyone’s gonna love it.”

You didn’t think he was even paying any attention to you. Course you were wrong. His eyes were melting in the rearview mirror as he smiled at you.

“Y/N woke up at 4:30 in the morning to get everything set,” Jack added.

You bent forward to look at him. “How do you know that?”

“I could hear your beater whirring. Thin walls.”

“That woke you up? I’m so sorry, Jack!”

Jack snorted. “Was she always like this?”

“Always,” said Sam, with all the warmth. You could feel the heat in your chest.

For the rest of the ride, you happily listened to Max chatter about the badminton racquet in the trunk and Claire’s home bowling set. He was such a joy to listen to when he was just being a kid and not careful. You listened very attentively, picking out the things that were only in the subtext of his words. Max loved these people- Jody, her girls and even Chase. He knew their habits and their natures like a family. Sam must have relied on them a lot and often. 

You were so lost in Max’s words, that the car was already silently cruising along the San Francisco bay. The water stretched by one side of the road. Instinctively, you tightened the grip on Max’s hand. 

Why hadn’t you thought to ask where the picnic was!

As it turned out, the place they had chosen was very serene… The little landscape was a small distance walk from the highway, secluded enough that it wasn’t frequented, but beautiful nonetheless. Tall, full trees dominated the landscape. The rich fall colours, oddly made the shade underneath brighter somehow, inviting. The shadows of the trees bleeded into an open, grassy area and ultimately into the sandy, pebbly waterline of the bay. 

You wrinkled your nose at the sight of nestled ducks. Sam smirked at you. Was he remembering the same afternoon? When you had tried to feed the ducks Sam and Dean’s epic failure of muffins?

Two girls were already laying out an assortment of food on the blanket. The blonde turned at the sound of Max’s hoots and her face brightened at the site of Jack. It was adorable. Alex still had her hand in a cast and Jody was hauling a cane chair from behind. All of them looked in a jovial mood. Maybe the whole sneaking out at night debacle was behind them. 

Alex greeted you first when you reached them. “It’s great to see you again, Mrs. Winchester.”

You felt rather than saw Sam’s eyes flash towards you. Smiling, you sat down next to her. “Y/N is just fine, Alex. You don’t have to change names all of a sudden.” 

Both she and Claire were a little wide eyed. Your situation had clearly been a topic of discussion with them. This girl they randomly knew as Max’s friend or Jack’s neighbor was now suddenly Sam’s wife. It must’ve been bizarre. After sharing a few pleasantries with Jody, you pulled out your own basket.

You had to admit, the reactions were very mollifying as they dug into the muffins, pies and croissants, moaning with closed eyes. Sam gave you a sideways smirk at their reaction.

“That’s it,” Jody declared. “You’re passing the rest of the semester for legal writing without handing in a single assignment. The muffins alone… mmm.”

“Save me some,” Sam complained. It was mostly aimed at Jody.

She scowled at him. “You stop making those eyes at me, Winchester. I’m not giving up my share.” When you giggled she turned towards you. “Did he always do that?”

“Puppy dog eyes of doom? Yeah… always.”

“You make that shit work for you in the court, don’t you? That’s how you win all of them cases,” she grumbled.

“How rude!”

You turned at the offended sound. Chase stood behind you with arms crossed over his chest. 

“You guys started eating without me?” He huffed, sitting down on your other side and turned to Max. “Your dad, I can expect that from. Since when did you turn into such an Iago?”

“I saved you the cookies,” Max said promptly, pulling the bag from behind him. There was a small furor which was mostly the girls complaining about how they didn’t know there were cookies. It ended with Chase clutching the bag to his chest.

“Flee away, children,” he said. “I need the cookies to mend my broken heart.”

“What happened to your girlfriend? Weren’t you bringing her with you?” Sam asked.

Chase threw him a very impressive shade. “She dumped me, Samuel.”

“Why?”

“She couldn’t bear that I was prettier than her.”

You suspected Chase was just playing it out for the cookies. He did not look heartbroken in the least. 

Once the food stash was considerably depleted, the girls, Jack and Max, picked up the racquets and divided their teams for Badminton. When Max insisted that you join them, Sam vehemently supported your argument of terrible hand-eye coordination. He knew and much like yourself, did not want to put other people in the way of the harm that you might inflict. In the end, only the group of four ended up on the blankets. Sam, Jody, you and Chase who was almost lying on his side, head resting on his hand, propped up on an elbow. He looked younger in a t-shirt and jeans. 

“I still can’t believe you can cook all of this by yourself! No wonder Sam didn’t want to junk the marriage.”

“Chase!” Sam admonished, mortified, but you enjoyed Chase’s unapologetic behaviour, being all too tired of people stepping on eggshells around you- especially Sam.

“No, it’s alright,” you said, grinning at Chase, who returned your grin with a wink.

“You don’t happen to have a sister, do you?” He enquired.

“Well, actually…”

“Someone other than Jo,” he added quickly. “God knows I won’t survive a minute if I went toe to toe with Dean Winchester. One Winchester is enough to keep me in line.”

Sam threw Chase his classic bitchface then went back to his conversation with Jody. Eyeing his absorption, Chase tilted his head towards the side, “Care to join me for a walk, Y/N?”

You chanced a look at Sam, who was busy discussing a faculty matter and nodded. As quietly as you could, the two of you got up and moved away. 

“So, did you end up applying? To Acton Gris, I mean?” He asked, hooking his thumbs in the pockets of his pants.

“I did, the very evening. I’m trying not to be too hopeful.”

His green eyes regarded you. “Now, whyever would you do that?”

“Because I’m a realist and I know what type of competition I’m up against.”

Chase chuckled. “You’re too idealistic, Y/N. Even more than Mr. Mc-dreamy over there. Never thought I’d see him topped in that category. I’m still hopeful. Looks like I’m the only one.”

“Why do you care?” You asked. “What does it matter to you if I end up in Acton Gris or not?”

“It doesn’t. I think it would be great for your career and it’s my duty being from the same alma mater to further your cause.”

You raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “And this has nothing to do with Sam.”

Chase was quiet for a long time, watching his steps as you strolled along the waterline, a safe distance away from it. You had given up on expecting an answer and were just beginning to wonder what would be a good time to turn around and head back when he finally spoke, “I’ll admit I haven’t been your biggest fan, Y/N. Sam never said a word against you… and that is exactly what pissed me off.” 

This was in line with what you had pretty much already assumed so it didn’t come as a surprise.

“I’m telling you this because I know you ain’t a snowflake,” said Chase. “You don’t have the liberty to be a snowflake after everything you’ve been through. I also know you don’t care about my opinion of you.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question,” you pointed out.

He sighed. “I suggested that you try at Acton Gris not for Sam’s sake but mine. That part I told you about- how Sam’s too high up to be involved with paralegals- is one hundred percent true. But I wanted to get to know you for myself.”

“To see if I was any good for Sam?”

Chase snorted. “This whole deal makes me sound like Sam’s possessive mistress but I am protective of him… and of his boy over there. I’ve been around for the start of that story, and they’ve been hurt enough. I am cad for saying this but I just didn’t trust you enough, and Sam being Sam was pining after you from day one… it’s quite tiresome to watch.”

“And now what? You suddenly approve of me? I passed some invisible test?”

“You guys are already married, who the heck am I to set a test for you? For the majority part I was telling the truth, you know. You’d flourish at Acton Gris. It would make you happy and Sam would be over the moon. But I still want to get to know you better.” He paused. “I haven’t had the best of family life growing up. More money than I could count, but my mother ditched me and my dad before I could spell out her name. I’ve seen him miserable for all his life… and well, it gave me mommy issues to last a lifetime.” Chase winked. “So all the meddling is clearly not me projecting my childhood abandonment issues on you. Clearly!”

Chase’s blunt honesty surprised you. He owed you nothing at all. Yet here he was answering all your questions. While he was at it, you decided to ask one more.

“Now you think I won’t break Sam’s heart?”

He looked at you and shook his head lightly. “I don’t know that. What I do know is that you won’t be able to break his heart without breaking your own first. I’ve only ever wanted him to be happy. Tried setting him up with a hundred girls, the guy just wouldn’t budge. Then you come back and it’s fucking sunshine all over his face. I know when to give up.”

Oddly, you understood exactly where Chase was coming from. He was so strongly rooted in Sam’s corner, all of his thoughts were biased, even if it meant being critical and wary of you. You hadn’t tried to achieve it, but somewhere in the middle you had gained both Chase’s confidence and his liking.

“What’s it like working under Sam?” You asked, changing the topic as well as voicing a curiosity. 

Chase gave you a look. “Now or then?”

“Both,” you said after a minute.

“You’ve got to know, I used to look up to Sam when I was at Stanford- not that he knew I existed back then. He was in the final year, I was in the first, and he was everything I wanted to be- Top of his class, valedictorian, popular with the ladies. I applied at Johnson’s because of that.” He paused, continuing only after an encouraging look from you. “He was nothing like I remembered. Every time I faced him, there was a very real risk of being fired for the smallest mistake.”

Chase laughed. You did not. He was describing a Sam you couldn’t imagine, a Sam that shouldn’t have existed.

“Now he’s my best friend. At any rate, he’s about the only person who puts up with my dumb antics.”

“He puts up with a lot from a lot of people,” you murmured, absentmindedly staring at the lake. 

A small moment caught your eye. The birdy that had been flying back and forth between the girls and the boys, flew over a bit too high and far. And as a reflex, Max, his eyes up, backed away fast.

“No!” You were already running by the time you realised that the terrified scream was yours. 

“No, no… Chirp!” You shouted, but it was too late as the boy’s feet hit the wet slope. He slipped and tumbled back, rolling right into the water. 

Your legs were aching from how hurriedly you dove after him, right into the bay, lashing in the water till your hands found Max’s body. Yanking him out of the water and against your body, you backed off quickly. You cradled his body on the sandy shore, frantically checking his face, arms to make sure he was alright. Max didn’t look hurt, just shocked and a bit scared.

“Are you okay?” You asked, too loudly. Max nodded.  

Hands landed on your shoulder, your head. Voices told you to let go but you did not release Max, not till another voice murmured in your ear, “It’s alright, Y/N. He’s okay.”

You turned on Sam. “Why did you let him near water? Why weren’t you paying any attention?” You yelled, not relinquishing your hold on Max.

Sam crouched down before you, not attempting to reach out to Max, who was staring wide eyed at you. 

“What if something had happened to him?” You wiped at your tears with the back of your hand. “He’s just a little boy! How could you be so careless?”

Sam shrugged out of his jacket and carefully wrapped it around your shoulders. 

“Max is alright,” he said calmly, “You can let go of him.”

“No!”

“Y/N, you’re all wet and you’re starting to shake. Get inside the car before it gets worse.”

“But Max…”

“Max is fine,” Sam said in the same patient tone. “Look at the water, it’s not even waist deep. This side of the bay is very shallow for, at least, fifty yards and Max can swim very well.”

The realisation came very suddenly. Max had never been in any danger at all. The girls had sarongs on, maybe they had all intended a swim. You had needlessly created a scene, drenched Max more than he needed to be and yelled at Sam for being an irresponsible father.

The tears spilled over again but because of a different reason this time- shame. You let go of Max the next instant, staring pointedly at the ground.

Max turned in your lap. Small, soft hands came up to wipe away the tears from your eyes. “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said. “I won’t go near the water again.”

You threw your arms around him again and sobbed against his little neck. The people around you seemed to be closing in but you didn’t want to look up at any of them. Your heartbeat was thudding erratically against Max’s head but he didn’t make a move to leave or get up.

“C’mon, girls, start packing,” Jody ordered over you. “Give Y/N some space to breathe. You, too, lover boy!”

Four sets of feet scampered away. 

“Chase, take Max to the blankets. There’s a fresh set of clothes in his bag.”

You did not want to let go of the boy. Doing so would make you face Sam.

It seemed Max was reluctant as well, but with one look at Sam, he disentangled himself. You felt the softest brush of his lips on your cheek and then Max was walking away, his hand in Chase’s. 

Sam put both his hands against your arms and pulled you to your feet. He drew his coat tightly around you and started walking you towards his car, his palm firmly planted against your back. 

You let him, without another word as he opened the door of the passenger seat for you to get in. Sam got in on the other side and turned the heat up. Only when the car started did you shake out of the quiet.

“Wait. Max?”

“Don’t worry about him. Chase will drive him home.”

Sam’s voice betrayed no emotion. Not anger or hurt. It was as composed as the many lectures he had delivered.

Ashamed of even meeting his gaze, you tipped your head against the window, glad that the side was facing the road instead of the bay and closed your eyes. It felt like floating in bliss if you buried your emotions down- this sensation of gliding on a smooth road, the heat in the car swirling with the scent of Sam’s cologne. It felt familiar and safe. 

All too soon you were jerked awake, the car easing into the driveway and coming to a stop. It was already dark outside. Somehow you had slept through the whole ride. Your clothes were completely dry. 

“I’m sorry,” Sam whispered, his voice like velvet in the darkness. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Straightening up, you turned to face Sam who was looking down at you with concern etched on his face. Slowly, you took his hand in yours and spoke through a hoarse voice, looking at them. “Please forgive me.” Those three words did not even begin to cover the regret you felt over what had happened. You were an outsider, looking in on Sam’s life with this strange hunger and desire. You wanted to be a part of his little family so bad, but you weren’t yet. You didn’t know Max the way Sam did, did not understand Max’s choices, and the thoughts behind them. You did not have a right to him or Sam. Ignoring all of that, you had yelled at Sam, the way a wife would yell at her husband for neglecting their child. But, Sam wasn’t neglecting Max. Max wasn’t your son and you were barely Sam’s wife. 

“It was thoughtless and stupid to raise my voice at you and say those words. I forgot that Max belongs to you, that you could never be careless towards him. I had no right to yell at you in front of everyone.” 

Maybe it was all for good. Let Sam see what you were capable of. If he saw the truth of how broken you were, maybe he would stop wanting you in his life. Everyone knew how hysteric you could get now. So much for Jody rooting for you. So much for Chase’s hopes of Sam getting to be happy. They all saw you for who you truly were. 

“You remember what I told you the other night?” Sam asked. “When you came over and we sat by the swing?”

The lightness of his voice made you look up. He should be angry, at least, pissed.

“I told you that I didn’t care what people thought about us.”

“Doesn’t justify what I did… How it must’ve looked...”

“You know how it looked to me?”

Sam’s eyes were clear, no resentment in them. “To me it looked like you ran to protect my son without caring for your life. You didn’t know the water wasn’t deep, you can’t swim and you’re fucking terrified of water. I’m not even talking about what the cold does to you. Why on earth would I care about how this looks to anyone else?”

You were transfixed by the depth of his words.

“Those people either love you or love me. I’m sure they saw it no differently than how I see it.”

“What about Max? I must’ve scared him so bad.” The poor boy hadn’t said anything except apologise to you for stepping in the water. It hadn’t been his fault.

Sam pursed his lips. “I wouldn’t worry too much about him. I think he’s concerned about you the most.”

You put your head in your hands, weary. The fear was still an echo in your stomach despite the sleep, and it was getting stronger every minute- what if something had happened to Max?

“Can I ask you something?” Sam sounded hesitant.

“Mhmm.”

“Do you remember what you said right before you jumped in the water?”

You frowned, trying to remember. “Wasn’t I calling out to Max?” There had been no time to say anything or do anything else.

Sam’s face was tender as he said, “Yeah, you were calling out to Max.”

What a weird thing to ask! You tried harder, failing to remember what Sam was talking about.

Lights flared up behind. You leaned back, not realising just how close you were to Sam. The car coming from behind came to a halt at the start of the driveway. The doors opened and Max and Jack spilled out from either sides. Jack reached your door first. He opened it and pulled you into a hug without waiting for you to turn.

“Hey, hey, I’m okay.”

“You were shaking so bad.” 

It was actually nothing compared to what Jack could have witnessed if Sam hadn’t whisked you off into the car and in front of a heater.

Chase’s reaction was a bit more subdued. He looked worried about how you were doing and wasn’t his usual boisterous self. When Sam invited him for dinner, he took a raincheck. So did Jack. Once, Chase had driven away, Sam looked at you expectantly, but you just shook your head. You had intruded on their time too much already. 

You crouched down to Max’s level who was uncharacteristically quiet. “I scared you today, didn’t I?”

Max didn’t say anything. He placed the back of his hand against your forehead and then under your jaw.

“I’m alright, sweetie,” you assured him. 

Max hugged you around the neck, and you hugged back tightly just for a second. You would jump inside a hundred lakes a hundred times without a single thought if it meant Max would be safe.

“I love you,” Max whispered very quietly in your ear. You were sure no one else had heard it.

Just as quietly, you whispered back. “I love you, too, my little boy.”

“Get inside, Max,” Sam said. “Wash your hands and change out of your clothes. I’ll be there in a minute to run the bath for you.”

With a small sigh, Max went inside, but not before giving you a smile.

“I’ll wait for you right outside the gate,” Jack told you. “It was great meeting you, Sam.”

“Likewise,” said Sam.

You watched Jack almost run out of sight. 

“Cool kid,” Sam muttered, eyes in the same direction.

You sighed. “I can’t believe I ruined the picnic and put a damper on everyone’s mood.”

“C’mere.” Sam gently pulled you to him, so that your body was leaning against his. One hand was curled around your shoulder and his other hand was against your lower back. You could feel the tips on his fingers against the little skin exposed between the hem of your shirt and the waistband of your pants. It sent a thrill through your body. “It’s like you have to find something to worry about all the time. Quit doing that. Everyone’s just glad that you’re okay. We’ll do this again sometime, alright? We can push Chase in the water next time.”

You snorted.

“And don’t worry about the yelling. You know I always liked it when you got bossy like that.”

Sam’s words made you giggle.

“There’s my girl.” His warm breath washed over your face. 

What you did next was inexcusable. Without warning, you were reaching up on the tips of your toes, kissing him. Sam was surprised, his hands left your body, but you threw yours around his neck, raising yourself up against his tall frame. He was so shocked that he lost his balance and fell back against the wall next to his door. You did not give up, sucking on his lower lip, feeling the roll of his muscles under your hand.

Sam let out a primal sound and the next second you were turning, it was your back to the wall now. He hoisted you up against the surface by your waist with one hand, hitching your leg around his waist. The other hand tangled in your hair as his mouth worked hard against yours. His taste was heady, intoxicating and the way he was kissing you was enough to make you forget where you were, what you were doing. It would make you forget your own name. The hand at your waist travelled under the hem of your shirt, clutching at the skin on your lower back, and his lips started to travel downwards, sucking, biting, along your chin to your jaw and back down again to the column of your neck. Sam wasn’t gentle… and as you gasped, indecently, eyes closed, you didn’t want him to be gentle either. 

No, you wanted him to be rougher, go harder and never stop.

“Daaaaaadd!” Max sang from the inside and the two of your sprang apart. Your feet landed on the ground with resounding reality. 

"Coming," he said, voice thick.

Sam bent down, hands on his knees, gasping hard.

“Oops!” You muttered. 

He looked up at you with a boyish grin, face flushed, looking years younger.

“I better go,” you said, biting your lip. “Jack’s waiting for me.”

You wanted nothing more than for him to ask you to stay and by the looks of it, he wanted the exact same thing.

“Uhhh yeah…” Sam huffed, shifting slightly, trying to adjust his jeans furtively. That made your face grow hotter. 

“Bye!” You ducked out of the porch, not looking back, least you should turn around and attack him again. What had gotten into you to react so wildly? That must’ve been highly inappropriate! 

A small voice in your head told you that it was anything but inappropriate… technically, at least.

Jack’s face lit up when he saw you and then it immediately dropped.

“What happened?”

“Y-Your hair!” He muttered, looking anywhere but at you.

“Oh!” It was mussed up in all directions. Hurriedly, you ran your fingers through it, hoping for some semblance. “Sorry.”

After a minute, Jack sneaked a glance and then smiled impishly. “I’m sorry. It’s just the idea of you making out with someone gives me the heebies… You’re like my sister!” He screwed up eyes into slits to show the cringe.

You laughed.

At the door, Jack gave you another hug. “I gotta say, Y/N, I wasn’t convinced about this whole Sam business before today. Neither was Kev. You know we would always support you with whatever you decided, but seeing you with him was very relieving. I won’t worry again.”

It was heartening, how much everyone cared for you. 

You had to take a cold shower once inside, despite your composition. It was regretful, because the water washed away the remnants of Sam’s smell off of you. Idly, you wondered if you could steal the shirt he had lent you and keep it for yourself, climb into it when you went to bed like you used to. 

The shower was necessary to reign in the utter chaos that was your brain. The evening had been eventful enough, but what had happened on Sam’s porch? How were you ever going to keep your hands away from him now? Abstaining was your idea to begin with. Sam had bared his heart to you, and this was your decision to keep your hands to yourself till you said the three words back to him.

So much for self control. But the way he’d looked at you, angels would have fallen for less. You were only a human. Besides, nothing would ever compare to the feeling of Sam’s lips, his fingers digging in your back, his body pressed against yours. 

You got into the bed, missing the warmth of his body when your phone pinged. Rolling on your stomach, you reached out to grab it from the nightstand praying the text was from the one person you wanted it to be from. It was.

*I missed that. I missed us*

Hugging the phone to your chest, you sighed like a teenager back from her first kiss. The incidence with water should have shaken you, the way you were wrecked anytime you got drenched, instead you were laying in bed grinning like an idiot.

*I missed us, too*

His reply was instantaneous. 

*It’s been a while…*

What an idiot! You knew what he was implying. As if he could ever be less than perfect at anything, especially at that.

You typed your response quickly. 

*Oh, Mr. Winchester, you always knew how to show a girl a good time*

The tightening in your stomach which refused to go away despite the cold shower was proof enough. Your skin still tingled. 

*That’s comforting… and encouraging ;)*

Yes, it was going to be really hard to go back to keeping your hands off each other now. Being around him was like breaking dams. Once you broke one, it was impossible to put that barrier back up again. The class tomorrow was going to be excruciating. For tonight, you let the wildest fantasies mingled with old memories take up all of your brain space. Even if it left you writhing in your sheets.

*Good night, Mr. Winchester*

You saw the three dots following one another and then disappearing as Sam typed. Once, twice, thrice. Finally the little pop up bubble appeared.

*Good night, Mrs. Winchester. I love you* 

**********************************

A/N 2: I quite like this part. Gave me the chance to explore how delicate, confusing, dependent and volatile emotions can be at the same time. I think if I hadn’t had the backing of 35 chapters, I’d never be able to pull of the conversations in this chapter, Sam, Chase, Jack... all of them. They wouldn’t have been as funny, emotional or exciting. That’s just me thinking maybe.

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[anobscurename]

ocean eyes – chris evans

previous part: PART VIII — masterlist

concept: for your birthday, chris takes you to a burlesque club, where you reunite with anthony and sebastian. the first kiss. the slowest of slow burns. part nine of many.

pairing: chris evans x reader

word count: 5.2k

warnings: strip tease, kissing, aNgSt

author's note: nothing i can say will prepare you for the rollercoaster you are about to endure. i hate myself for doing this to you. ya girl really popped tf off on this one.

Looking at Christopher Robert Evans, you wouldn't expect him to be someone who happened to frequent burlesque clubs.

You also wouldn't expect him to have so many tattoos, but that's what a good long sleeve jacket was for.

It would be dangerous for anyone to assume anything about Christopher Robert Evans. And yet, assumptions were made... Just like how you had assumed he would forget your birthday.

It wasn't an unfair assumption, by any means. You had only been living together for about six months, of which he was only there for a few days at a time, before jetting back out to whatever location his film shoot was at.

You were close, but at the same time, not close at all.

It was hard to think of where you stood – neither one of you could really answer that question, and should anyone corner you both separately, you'd both resignedly sigh and claim "just friends."

That was why his gift surprised you on two different levels:

One, he had remembered your birthday. Perfectly friendly enough.

Two, he had gifted you something not quite friendly in the slightest... And that was where waters got murky. But you'd be fucked if you didn't admit just how willing you were to wade into those waters – murky or not.

The box had been delivered to the house late in the morning. Chris had been gone for just over a month this time – 46 days, you were unashamedly keeping count – and his absence didn't go by unnoticed.

Everything reminded you of him, even if he didn't spend a lot of time there.

The box had been from La Perla, and just the name – gold embossed on cream – elicited a visceral reaction of excitement.

You signed for it – a little too eagerly, given the delivery boy's eyebrow raise – before dashing inside to open it.

And now, there it sat, on your bed, silk ribbon still intact.

You weren't unfamiliar with the forever coveted – and forever out of your price range – Italian lingerie brand. But knowing it was from Chris... Your fingers inched towards the ribbon.

Your phone rang, rescuing you from letting your imagination run too wild. Checking the caller I.D., you faltered. It was him.

"Hello?"

"{Your name}! Hey." If you shut your eyes, you could see his smile. "Did you get the gift?"

"Yeah," you responded, a bit more breathless than you would've liked. "Looking at it right now, actually."

"And? What do you think?"

You hadn't the heart to tell him you hadn't opened it yet. "It's..."

You heard a familiar voice in the background. Two of them, actually. "Who's that?" "Is that {your name}? Hey, yo, {your name}! Happy birthday!"

"Guys, cut it out!" Chris laughed, the reciever crackling a little. You could only imagine what was transpiring on the other end: Chris trying to wrangle himself free from his friends all clamouring to get a word in over the phone he was holding just out of reach.

You giggled. "Is that Mackie?"

"Yeah, and Seb. I'm on set with them right now. Decided to drop by, say hi to everyone. Try and convince those two delinquents to come out tonight, but after they heard where I was taking you, it wasn't much of a task. Just managed to sweet talk the producers into getting them the night off."

"It better be great tonight, Kevin really wasn't impressed!" You could hear Seb's muffled shouts from across the room, followed by a "quiet on set!" from a voice you didn't recognize.

Silence was instantaneous from the clamour you had almost gotten used to from the other end.

"Hold on," Chris' voice was hushed. "Gonna get out of their hair before they start filming again..."

You found yourself perching restlessly on the edge of your bed as you waited for Chris to return to the call. There was some shuffling on his end, quiet apologies whispered to passing strangers he was trying to skirt past.

When he got back, he was speaking normally again. "About the gift. It's a bit much, I know. Not exactly Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge! but I know how much you love that film, so I thought it'd be fun if tonight... Well, if tonight we visited something close to it."

"You're not taking me to France, are you?" Your heart was in your throat, hoping he'd say no. Not that you wouldn't love to go, it was just that you weren't ready to make a trip that big any time soon. The panic of packing would be all consuming, and that was the last thing you wanted to be doing on your birthday.

His laugh was infectious. "God, no. In this economy?"

"So, where are you taking me, then?" Your eyes had narrowed in suspicion.

"Think Moulin Rouge, but smaller and more local."

"Oh..." There was one name that came to mind – Vulpecula, the Latin word for "little fox". A burlesque club, every bit as elite as the club you used to be a waitress at.

"Oh," he agreed. Even over the phone you could see the smug smile on his face. He had recalled you mentioning how you'd always wanted to go there, but could never get in. The moment he heard that, about four months prior, he had excused himself from the conversation – having given you some perfectly justifiable explanation at the time, reasonable enough for you to not suspect anything different – and promptly booked a front seat table there for your birthday. "So, listen, I'll be home in... Let's see, they have an hour left here before they wrap, from Georgia to L.A., that's four, maybe five hours...? So let's say no more than seven hours? I should be home by dinner, have a quick shower, and be ready to meet Seb and Anthony at Vulpecula around nine for the reservation. Sound good?"

That was in... One glance at the clock on your bedside table confirmed it. Ten hours time by the looks of it.

Ten hours was more than enough time for you to pick something Vulpecula worthy and get ready. You hoped. "Sounds good."

"Alright, see you in a bit."

You said your goodbyes, the thrill of finally going to a burlesque club beginning to rise. Your thumb hovered over the "end call" button, about to press, when Chris interjected one last time.

"Oh, and {your name}? Happy birthday."

———————

True to his word, Chris was home for dinner. "Dinner" being two pizzas balancing precariously in one scopic hand – held aloft, well out of Dodger's eager jumping reach – and roses clutched firmly in the other.

"You're back."

His face lit up at your presence, tired eyes becoming wide awake once more. "Hey there, birthday girl."

You let him put down the pizza and flowers first before you sprinted into his arms. The scent that you could only reconcile with airplanes from his flight clung to him, but if you inhaled deeper, the smell that was so distinctly Chris was there too.

He chuckled, hugging you back every bit as enthusiastically, even going so far as to pick you up and spin you around, Dodger yapping excitedly at the situation.

"I missed you, you asshole."

"I missed you too," he sighed into your hair.

You pulled apart. "You have no idea how quiet it gets here when you're not around. I almost feel bad for the shampoo bottles, they haven't heard you sing in a month now and it's– What? What are you staring at?"

A stillness had overcome Chris as he held you at arm's length, hands resting just above your elbows. He was looking at you.

"Just you," he affirmed softly. There it was again, that smile. "You look gorgeous. Doesn't she look beautiful, bud?"

Dodger, suddenly bored of the interaction, dashed off to go retrieve some chew toy or another.

"Guess he doesn't think so," you shrugged, suddenly shy under that molten ocean gaze.

"Don't listen to him. He doesn't know what he's talking about."

———————

Vulpecula didn't disappoint. Your eyes were wide in awe, almost wishing they were wider so as to take in as much as you possibly could. You were right by the stage, all of you seated in plush, velvet chairs. You sat around a gold and black vintage marble-top table cluttered with empty bottles and half full drinks.

Anthony and Seb – after showering you with birthday wishes and small gifts now residing in your discarded coat pockets – were reclined in their seats, drinks in hand, talking low to one another. You had heard a snippet of their conversation in passing. They had been debating how long you and Chris would last in this will they, won't they charade.

The very thought of a will they had your eyes rolling. As if that would ever happen. You didn't need to remind yourself: friends. Just friends, nothing more.

Sultry music, moody lighting, and the hint of wine and expensive perfume mingled with French cigarette smoke all invaded your senses.

"They look amazing up there," you whispered in reverence, eyes never leaving the dancers.

Chris leaned in, shoulder brushing yours. The natural magnetic pull he had on you snapped you out of your wonderstruck state, and you tilted your head to hear him better. His breath was hot against your ear as he struggled to be heard over the music. "Not as amazing as you look right now."

You shrugged the compliment off. It wasn't lost on you, the reason he enjoyed these types of clubs. "Yeah, but I could never do what they're doing right now."

"I don't know," he cajoled. "I've seen you dance before. You've got moves."

He was referring to one particular evening where you had decided to settle your differences over The Impromptu Never Have I Ever Swim™ – namely, who was at fault – with a dance battle. But that was nothing.

You quirked an inquisitive brow. "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"No suggestions here," he said, hands raised in submission. "I'm just saying you've got moves."

At your scoff, he leaned in again. You weren't entirely oblivious; the implication of his words were crystal clear: "And you could out dance anybody in this room."

"Is that a challenge, Evans?" The smirk came easy to your wine darkened lips as you brought the flute of champagne to them for a sip. You had been rather indulgent in your mixing of alcohols all night, and compliance was becoming incredibly enticing.

"You can't compete where you don't compare, and these girls don't even come close."

The dismissive wave he gave the stage had caught the attention of Anthony and Seb, and they were now listening and watching intensely, both trying to hide their amusement behind their tumblers of whiskey.

"You are challenging me," you gasped in mock disbelief.

"If anything, it's a request," Anthony had attempted to disguise his commentary behind the whiskey glass, but had failed. The whole table had heard, earning him a slap on the arm from Seb and an amused quirk of your lips. "What? I'm just saying what we're all thinking. We're all thinking it."

"I'm not about to be sweet-talked into making a fool of myself by the likes of you, Christopher," you teased, turning your attention back to Chris.

He smirked. "I dare you."

"You really don't think I'll go up there." It was more a statement than anything. He knew the need to prove him wrong would heavily outweigh your dignity, and you hated that he knew that.

He shrugged, noncommittal, but still smirking. "I have no inclination to what you will or won't do."

That was it. The thread he'd been pulling at all night had finally unravelled, and it was probably the alcohol that had dulled your better judgement, but it was your birthday, for fuck sakes, and you felt like doing something memorable and insane.

"Guard my drink."

And then you were up, making your way to the dimly lit steps leading up to the stage.

If you had been there with anyone else, you would've been escorted out immediately. But that was the thing about loyal patronage, fame, and money... You could get away with almost anything. Your status was immediately elevated just by being in their company.

Seb watched you, mouth agape, as you sashayed to the front and centre. "Holy shit, she's doing it."

Uproarious applause met your arrival as your steps pulled the attention of the audience, but you could hear and see Anthony whoop in support above them all.

"How the hell did you pull this one off, Evans?" Anthony asked as he sat back down to enjoy the show, face laminated in a permanent smile.

"What can I say? I know my girl," Chris winked.

Seb sighed, digging some cash from his pocket. "You win, I guess," he grumbled as he handed over the money to Chris.

"That's mine, thank you." Anthony plucked it from Seb's fingertips. "You too, blue eyes. Hand it over."

"But I won," Chris all but pouted, confusion creasing his brow.

"You said you could get her up there with them in ten," Anthony corrected. "I said you could do it in five if she had the right amount of Moët in her. And would you look at that..." – he plucked the near empty bottle in question from the table to display to his friends – "the perfect amount of Moët."

Chris yielded. He fished some stray bills from his pocket and paid his fee.

The entire exchange was lost on you, however, as the song changed. There was a hush over the club as the music faded, and suddenly, there was a spotlight on you. The other dancers stood back, watching you in delight.

And then the music began to play.

And you began to move.

You were mesmerizing, incredible in your command of the stage. The sway of your rolling hips, the placement of your hands, roving over your body suggestively, but not overtly sexual. That was the beauty of burlesque – it was to sell sex without outright giving it, and it was as if you'd danced there your whole life, the way it flowed so naturally through you.

"Would you look at her up there?" Anthony breathed, something akin to pride in his eyes. Your relationship with the Falcon actor was strange – something close to siblings. Although, if you were to think about it, no big brother would ever be as proud as he was to be watching his little sister dancing at a burlesque club. It had been less about the dance, though – and all about the joy he could see emanating from you.

You liked being the centre of attention for one night. And you very much were.

The interaction at the table was practically forgotten as your friends stared up at you in admiration.

And when your hands traced your curves, moving languidly to the zipper at the side of your dress, Chris' breath visibly stuttered. And when the dress was slipping off of you – straps slinking off the delicate slope of your shoulders to allow the pooling of the fabric at your feet – Chris leaned forward in his seat, entirely bewitched.

You were wearing it – the lingerie he had bought for you.

It was a pretty little number – light champagne coloured silk, trimmed in black lace. It fit you like a glove, hanging off your frame in a way that revealed enough to stir a desire to see more, but not enough to have you shying away in discomfort in front of all the onlookers. The neckline was low, and the skirt fell just above mid thigh.

And still you danced, motions slow to the music, toying with the skirt, the straps, your hair. For that single moment, you were seduction incarnate.

He couldn't look away. You were everything in his world, the only thing in it. You were his world.

When you made eye contact with him, out in the darkness at the edge of the stage, he could've sworn he'd forgotten how to breathe.

You sank to your knees, sensual, undulating, gathering your now discarded dress. The smirk you had – so often teasing – was beckoning, mirroring the intent in your eyes.

You slowly dragged your eyes over Chris, taking in the state of him. What you had rendered him. The hold you had over him was tangible – the awed set of his agape jaw, the way his eyes were glazed with such intensity and want. It stirred something in you, something in the pit of your belly.

You cast him a coy wink before you lazily tossed the dress to him as if you hadn't a care in the world.

Sebastian sucked a whistling breath through his teeth when the song ended. "Who was that girl?"

Chris shifted in his seat, trousers having grown immeasurably uncomfortable. He found himself dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea."

———————

The excitement of the stage was still coursing through you when you returned to the table.

Anthony, who had rightfully given you a well-deserved standing ovation, gave you a massive bear hug that lifted you off the ground and had you giggling. "Wow," was all he said. And then, louder: "Wow!"

Nearby patrons cheered in agreement, and you felt your cheeks flush. "Stop it," you rolled your eyes.

"No, he's right," Seb smirked. "Isn't that right, Chris?"

Seb had tilted his head to peer at Chris past you and Mackie, cocky at having caught Chris out.

Chris – having crossed his legs to conceal the effect you had on him – could barely even look at you. "Yeah," he cleared his throat; it didn't help chase the rasp from his voice. "It was quite something."

You exchanged a slightly annoyed look with Anthony. "I don't see what your problem is, I was only doing what you wanted."

You plopped down in your seat, immediately taking a sip from your champagne. Chris' eyes followed your action, attentative – even more so when you caught a drop at the corner of your lips with your deft tongue.

As if he wasn't already hard enough.

And then his undoing – you spotted your dress. It was still exactly where it had landed when you'd tossed it, splayed across his lap. Unthinkingly, you reached for it, your fingers grazing his crotch and–

His hand shot forward, intercepting you, seizing your wrist in an iron grip. He looked to almost be in pain. "Don't."

What happened next, you didn't blame the alcohol this time, or the thrill the stage had left you with, or anything else. This was all you.

The air had been thick with desire – that all consuming want – and there was a glassiness in his blown out pupils – a need – that had spurred you on.

You grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him to you. Tilting forward, you captured his lips in a hungry starving kiss. He stiffened, before melting, becoming putty in your hands, kissing you back with a passion that set your entire soul and body ablaze. It was sloppy, liquor heavy on both your lips. He moaned into you, hot tongue swiping against the seam of your lips, begging for entrance. Entrance which you granted, whimpering as he deepened the kiss.

You had clambered onto his lap in the frenzied urgency. The hiss of pleasure he gave at the slow grind of your hips against him was almost enough to make you come undone then and there.

Searing hands travelled your body, fingertips digging into soft flesh every time you rubbed against him just so. He traced your curves, encompassing all his hands could reach without ever crossing the line you so desperately wanted him to. He was a gentleman, first and foremost – although he kissed like he hoped to devour you.

Your own hands carded through his hair, tugging at the strands, eliciting throaty groans you never dreamed of hearing from him. His lips muffled every mewl of pleasure you emitted, and for that you were thankful, because once his hand came to rest around your throat, you knew you were done for.

"Fuck," he growled out against your lips.

You finally pulled apart, head swimming and breathless. "Let's get out of here."

He stared at you for the longest time. You, who looked so beautiful with your kiss swollen lips. You, who was sat in his lap, looking down at him, eyes telling innocence, but lips suggesting sin. You, who was finally his. "You must know what you're doing to me."

You stifled a moan as Chris tilted your head back, gently leaving a trail of featherlight kisses from your jaw to your collarbone. Your toes curled, and you knew that if someone were to ask you your name in that moment, you wouldn't be able to tell them. "And what's that?"

"Driving me fucking crazy."

———————

You were still in absolute disbelief, convinced you'd wake up and this would all be a dream.

But it wasn't a dream, and you were there, with him, and your lips still throbbed in the remembrance of that kiss...

"Hold on," you said. Chris reluctantly halted his steps, turning to look at you. "Just wait here, I need to go get my coat."

"Don't be long," he said, voice low and soft.

You gave him a goofy half smile, still kiss drunk. "No promises."

You dashed off to the coat check station, leaving Chris in the foyer.

Ten minutes, that was how long it took. That was the number you would put to the time it took for absolute devastation to occur.

It wasn't your fault there was a line at coat check. Just like it wasn't his fault he happened to run into a particularly gorgeous woman from his past in just those ten minutes.

"Chris Evans?"

He spun at the sound of his name ringing out in the empty foyer. The music of Vulpecula was still faintly going in the background, muffled by the gilded gold doors that granted entry.

"Hey! Long time no see," he grinned. "I haven't seen you since...? Wow, it must've been ages."

"Since we broke up, yeah," she nodded in slow agreement.

"How's," he snapped his fingers, hoping to jog his memory. "Don?"

"We broke up, actually. About a month ago."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that." He made his consolation known through a friendly pat on the shoulder, thumb rubbing circles on the skin revealed by her sleeveless dress.

And it was at that moment you returned, seeing him and the woman, too close to be entirely platonic. He wasn't guilty of anything, you knew that. But the hand on the shoulder...

He hadn't noticed you yet, so you were given ample time to dissect the unfolding situation.

It dawned on you exactly why it bothered you so much. The way he was touching her, it was how he had touched you. Not in Vulpecula, no, but every day leading up to it. And it could've meant one of two things:

The first was that it was friendly. Suggesting that he had seen you as nothing more than a friend before... Before you'd fucked it up.

Or the second... That he had seen you as something more all along, and that was what he perceived her as right after that kiss you had both shared.

And honestly, you didn't know which was worse.

"I'm going to be in town for the next few days if you wanted to grab a drink and catch up..." You had stalked past them in that moment, coat draped over your arm, catching her words in passing.

Chris' eyes followed you as he spoke, distracted by your shift in mood. "I'm actually here with someone..."

He trailed off, watching as you didn't even look at him as you brushed past. "Um, hold that thought," he said, already starting to follow you out. Her entire existence was dismissed by his need to get to you and discover why you were suddenly giving him the cold shoulder. "It was great seeing you again, tell Don I say hi – wait, no, scratch that–!"

He was practically yelling over his shoulder as he chased you down. "{Your name!} Wait up!"

You didn't stop, but you were at a disadvantage – your heels, his long legs – and he caught up to you easily. His hand on your shoulder was enough to make you flinch. Who knew you could read so much into the touch of a shoulder? "Hey, what's wrong?"

Your heart could've broken at the gentleness of his voice. Could've. You'd steeled yourself already, and it was glaringly noticeable. "Nothing is wrong, Chris, forget it."

"Just wait–"

You shrugged his hand off your shoulder. "I said forget it."

"I won't," he stepped closer. "Not when I can see something is bothering you."

"Well, I will," you stated, voice flat. You turned away from him to continue your retreat. "Can we just go home?"

When he refused to budge – instead looking at you with those mournful blue eyes of his, you sighed, exasperation and a touch of anger laced through. Why were you so upset, anyways?

"Chris, I just want to go home. I'm tired and I want to get out of this ridiculous fucking outfit so please. Please can we go home?"

He watched as you backed away from him, already pushing open the foyer door to step out onto the curb. His voice was so soft when he next spoke, you hadn't even heard him over the sudden symphony of noises from outside.

"Okay. Okay we'll go."

———————

"Hey, Evans!"

Chris peeled his eyes away from your silhouette to find new purchase on the person who'd called him. He'd been watching you try – and fail – to get a cab for a little over five minutes now. He was still trying to puzzle through your sudden tonal shift, and had ended up simply staring at you from afar for what felt like ages. His eyes burned. Had he blinked? He couldn't recall.

"What are you still doing here?" Anthony hollered from the other side of the foyer. As he drew closer, his voice lowered. "I thought you guys left a while ago."

"Is {your name} around?" Sebastian asked, still in the midst of shrugging on his coat that he'd just retrieved from coat check. "We wanted to say goodbye before we headed back to the hotel. Early flight and all that."

Chris struggled to find his voice, and when he did, it didn't sound much like himself. "She's outside, getting a cab."

"Oh, you guys are gonna go home and—" Anthony wiggled his brows suggestively.

Seb was quick to land a gentle slap on Anthony's shoulder, a silent hint to shut the fuck up. "I know that face. And that voice." Sebastian drew closer – approaching Chris almost like one does a wounded animal – and placed a consoling hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"I... I don't know," Chris sighed. His voice sounded strangled, even to him. "She won't talk to me. Wants nothing to do with me by the looks of it."

Anthony pursed his lips. "Well, what did you do?"

"Why?" Sebastian sighed in exasperation. The question was addressed to no one in particular – except maybe God.

Anthony ignored him. "Man, do I have to spell it out for you? She's crazy about you, giving you those big doe eyes everytime you come within a five mile radius. That is some love shit if I've ever seen it," he chortled to himself. Snapping out of it, he leaned in menacingly – big brother mode activated. "So what did you do?"

"Oh, man..." Chris groaned, trying to remember the events that had led to this point. "Well, she was getting her coat."

Anthony nodded slowly, showing he was following. "Right."

"And this girl I used to date, she came over and we started talking."

"You've lost me," Mackie said, still nodding.

"What do you mean?"

Lightning quick, Anthony smacked Chris upside the head. It wasn't hard, a love tap at most, but it still made Chris grimace. "What do you mean, what do I mean? Honestly, both of you are so clueless. Man, she's perfect for you. Literally, perfect. So what are you talking to your ex for?"

"It wasn't like that, Ant," Chris groaned, rubbing the back of his head. "Wait, do you think she thinks...?"

"I don't know what she thinks. What I think, is that you should fix it. As soon as possible."

"Guess I'm in the lead again, huh?" Sebastian slid his hands coolly into his pockets, rocking on his heels.

Chris frowned. "You guys bet on us?"

"Not with money. With something much more meaningful," Seb smiled.

Anthony nodded sagely. "The settlement on who the Black Widow belongs with."

Chris winced. "That's a lot."

"Well, I had faith."

"He's Team Chris-and-{Your Name}-Should-Get-Married," Seb nodded toward Mackie. "I'm Team Let-Them-Live-Their-Lives."

"Yeah, the names are still a work in progress," Anthony admitted.

Chris sucked in a deep breath, fatigue suddenly hitting him like a freight train. "Well, it's late. You guys should probably get going. I'll text you with an update tomorrow."

Anthony had already started heading out, Sebastian at his side. He swiveled to face Chris. "If I'm not scandalized by what's about to go down tonight, don't even bother."

Sebastian took Mackie by the shoulder, guiding him away. "I'm going to take him back to the hotel before he has an aneurysm," he smiled apologetically. "He hasn't planned yours and {your name}'s wedding in a little over four hours now."

As they departed the building, Chris could still hear Anthony calling out to him.

"I want to be scandalized, Evans! Scandalized!"

———————

"What part of forget it is not getting to you, Christopher?"

He leaned against the doorframe of your room, arms folded and legs crossed at the ankles.

"I just want to know what I can do to make it better. Tell me what I can do to make it better."

You gently removed your earrings, tossing them on your desk, before removing your coat. When you'd gotten home, you'd gone straight to your room, and, in a great imitation of Dodger, Chris had followed you there. "It's nothing."

"Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it."

"That's exactly it, Chris. It's nothing. We were both drunk, and it will never happen again. It was nothing. So forget it."

You couldn't even look at him, instead choosing to speak over your shoulder. Because if you had seen him, been looking at him, you would've seen the hurt in his eyes, the pain in the set of his jaw. Your next words were a dismissal: "Thank you for the gift. Good night."

But it wouldn't be a good night, not for either of you.

You were too tired to cry, too tired to sleep, too tired to dream. You were just so... tired.

And Chris... He spent the night sleepless. Entirely unable to do what you asked, and forget. You had seared yourself into his mind, and he was entirely incapable of forgetting.

[wowitsel]

dear spencer- part two

Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

masterlist

(part one)

Summery: Spencer’s initial reaction to what happens, and him going through the five stages of grief

Genre: heavy angst

WARINGINGS: suicude, language, cheating, grief

Word Count: 1.4k

thanks to @dreatine​ for suggesting a part two

A/N: again, this pic deals with really heavy topics, including the grief process. If you ever need anyone to talk to, or be there for you, I am here, and you can message me any time. 

Spencer’s mind was in a frenzy. He couldn’t focus on anything, and all he felt was pure panic and anguish. So, he just sat there, on the bathroom floor, curled in a ball, just hoping for this to all be a dream.

If asked why he cheated on Y/n, he couldn’t give a valid answer, his mind drew blanks, which was rare for the doctor. All he could say is that he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t help it when a pretty girl was all over him. He couldn’t help it, even when he was lying to his girlfriend, and defying all the moral codes he had ever lived by. At the moment he thought that she was so much prettier than Y/n, but looking over at Y/n’s dead body, he wondered how he could have ever thought that.

Logistically, Spencer knew he was smart, but he felt like the dumbest person on Earth. How could he have done this to her?

He felt a surplus of emotions hit him like a truck. Guilt, grief, shock, and just pain.

Dr. Spencer Reid was not new to trauma, but this was worse than all the other things he had experienced, combined because it was his fault.

He remembered with Meave, he always said that it was his fault, that he had done something different, she could have survived. But he saw now that it wasn't really his fault. But this time, it unequivocally, was his fault.

But thinking about Maeve, just made him remember all the times Y/n comforted him when he was grieving the loss of Maeve. All the times that she stayed up, and just held him, when he was having a nightmare, or when she was talking him through a panic attack. He remembered how patient and kind she was, and that just piled onto the grief he was already feeling.

He looked over to the floor and saw her letter, crumpled up, with both his own, and her tears on it, and he just felt numb.

Spencer just stayed there, hugging your body, until Derek eventually found him, and forced him to let go.

Denial:

Shortly after Derek finally got Spencer to let go of her body, they both received a text, informing them that they had a case.

Spencer then began to gather his stuff, in order to leave for the case. But as he went to grab his go-bag, Derek stopped him.

“Hey. Where do you think you're going?” He questioned.

“Uhh to go work the case,” Spencer replied as if it were quite obvious.

“Listen Spencer. We both know you can’t work this case. You’re in shock and denial, so I’m going to drop you off at Penelope’s, while we’re on the case. Kevin will cover for her. Ok?” Derek told Spencer in the same tone he would use with a little kid.

Spencer nodded and slowly began walking towards the door, almost like a mummy.

Anger:

Because Derek had called Penelope before they got to her home, she knew all about what had happened, even the cheating part.

Penelope thought about all the things she could have done to make her feel more loved. She was never mean to her, but she still felt like she never did anything super nice either, to show her that she cared, which she did.

Penelope also felt very conflicted about Spencer. She knew in her head that Spencer cheated on her, and that was one of the reasons she killed herself. But she also loved Spencer. That’s why when Spencer arrived at her home, she couldn’t look him in the eye.

When Spencer walked in, the first thing he did was flung himself on to her couch, and curled up in a ball, with tears streaming down his neck.

Penelope didn’t know what to do, so she thought about what she did when she was stressed, and that was tea.

Penelope began boiling the water as Spencer laid on the couch, she steeped the tea bags as he silently sobbed, and she brought the teacups over as he stared into her beige couch.

“Here. I made you some herbal tea,” Penelope said gently, as she handed him the cup.

Something in Spencer snapped at that moment. He swatted his hand out, causing the cup of tea to fall and shatter on the floor, seemingly making him even angrier.

“I don’t need fucking tea! I need my fucking girlfriend back!” Spencer exclaimed, startling Penelope.

“I-I’m sorry,” Penelope stuttered out.

“My girlfriend is gone, and it’s all my fucking fault. She’s dead because I slept with some- some- slut!” Spencer yelled out, angry tears falling out of his eyes.

“Spence, it's not your fault-” Penelope tried to say.

“But it is though. I cheated on her, and she killed herself. It’s my fault, and I know you know it. I mean you can’t even look me in the eyes for God’s sake.” Spencer scoffed out.

Penelope didn’t say anything. She just sat there, and let him take his anger out on her. It was hard for her, seeing as she was very sensitive, but she knew it had to happen.

Bargaining:

In the weeks ensuing, Spencer was snappy with everyone, but they took it, knowing it was a part of the healing process. But one night, Spencer reached the bargaining stage, during a long case.

Spencer had just gotten super angry at everyone and snapped. Hotch had sent him back to the hotel room.

Once he got back, he thought of her again. And the hurt began all over again. But this time he did something unexpected. He prayed.

Now Spencer was a religious person, but he was so desperate. So he did it. He prayed:

“Dear God,

Umm, I don’t know if you’re there or not. But I just miss her so much. I know that it was my mistakes that cost her, her life, but I hope you can forgive me.

I’ll do anything for her back. I’ll never get angry ever again if you bring her back. Can you even do that? Just, please! I can’t do this without her. I can’t live my life without her.

It’s selfish, I know. But she was the light of my world. I messed everything up.

I’d do anything to start over. Please, just give me the chance to. I’ll do anything. Please. God…

Amen?”

Depression:

Weeks later, Spencer felt so empty. He was so tired of the tears, of the loneliness, and of the pain. He felt like his heart was in chains, and he was incapable of ever being happy again, and then he thought that he didn’t deserve to be happy.

He thought about who he could go to, and he thought about all the times that JJ had provided him comfort, so he decided it couldn’t hurt.

When he arrived at JJ’s house, he was sobbing, crying. When JJ answered the door, she saw Spencer, and just led him to the couch and just held him, and let him cry.

“Spence, just let it out. Calm down. It’s ok” she whispered to him, in an attempt to calm him down.

Her attempt to calm him down did not work. He just sat there in her arms, for a long time.

Acceptance:

Spencer spent the longest time in the depression stage. He spent the longest time numb, and in anguish, for a long time. But now, it was time for his psych evaluation. Luckily, it was Hotch who was doing it.

When Spencer walked into Hotch’s office, he was nervous. He didn’t want to lose the ability to do his job, it was important to him.

Spencer sat down, and Hotch gave him a small smile, before starting. He began asking the standard questions, before getting to the point where he needed Spencer to tell him what happened in his own words. To judge his behavior while telling the story.

“Reid. I need you to explain what happened, in your own words. It’s going to be hard. But you need to do it.” Hotch told Spencer.

Spencer took a deep breath, and then began, “Umm I cheated on my girlfriend, Y/n, and umm I told Derek, and he told her. Then umm she uhh,” Spencer closed his eyes for a second to collect himself, “She uhh killed herself. Because of what I did.”, he finished.

This was the first time Spencer had been able to tell the story, without lashing out or anything. Hotch noticed, and gave him a hug. Hotch then whispered in Spencer’s ear, 

“I’m proud of you”.

[red-becca]

The Streamer And The Model

I republished this with my laptop bc why not? Make it look better. Also, just realized I don't really have anything about Red on here that screams "model" other than it being mentioned. So, yeah. Gonna be writing a sequel of sorts or just another oneshot basically that is connected to this one. Hope you guys can wait for it.

---

"Mmm... Okay then." Kevin hummed as he sets up his face cam for his stream for today. "You guys can see me good, right? I see the comments and all the other stuff you guys say, by the way. About how I need to show my face more and well... Here I am. I still struggle with setting it up on this new program you guys suggested me, so yeah... I set it up earlier than when I'm scheduled to start streaming for it to show up properly." He clears his throat as he looks through the chat. "Anyway, I was gonna say we'll have a good ol' fashion QnA while waiting but you guys are just immediately bombarding me with questions..."

The male snickered as he rubbed his painted nails, shaking his head. "Yes, this is live and unedited. I am wearing black nail polish on my nails. I feel like it should no longer be a shock for people to see guys with nail polish but I get it. I don't seem like the type to do it, right?" He chuckled as he takes off his headphones and showing off the piercing in his right ear. "To shock you guys even more, I got myself a piercing too..."

"My girlfriend basically convinced me to do it, so we match kind of. But you know, I actually quite like how it looks on me. And she even did my nails just for fun and I think she did a great job." He said without even thinking, too focused on admiring his nails. Then his eyes widened as he realized what he had done, gulping as he saw the endless spam he was getting in chat. "Fuck, Red warned me that this would be your reaction once you found out..."

He let out nervous laughter and pushes his index fingers together. "Hehe, yeah... There is no way I am gonna be able to edit out what I said earlier. You guys heard me loud and clear there." Kevin let out some more laughter before taking in a deep breath. "So, I guess, I can't hide it anymore. Yes, I do have a girlfriend. We've dating for... like a really long time now, actually. I never really mention her because... Well, she tells me not to. I've actually been wanting to tell you guys about her for a while now because of how much I just adore her but again, she doesn't want me to tell you about her. Why? I don't really remember exactly but it's something like her not wanting to steal attention from me or something like that..."

Kevin rubbed the back of his neck, reading more of his chat. "You said her name was Red... You won't happen to be talking about famous model, Rebecca McArthur, are you?" He gasps in realization. "Hmm, maybe that's what Red means when talking about stealing attention from me..." The male mumbles before clearing his throat. "Umm, yes actually. She refers to be called Red more, so please. Call her that. But yes, I am dating a famous model but you know, I knew her and dated her before she became said famous model. So, I see her more than just a famous model. There is more to her than that..." He smiled, blushing softly as he thought of Red.

The smile he had on his face immediately faded when he saw his chat saying that he was lying and that he's only saying he's dating a famous model for clout. "Hey! I know it sounds really unbelievable for someone like me dating someone like Red but you guys don't have to say such mean things like that! I really am dating Red! If you don't want to believe me, go ahead! You'll eat your words once you-" He gets cut off by Red suddenly coming into his office.

"Hey, Kev! Started your stream yet? Me and Bailey made some cupcakes for you to try before it starts! Well, it's mostly me. Bailey just slept next to me." Red laughs, peeking through the door with a tray in her hands. "And don't worry about this tasting bad! I followed the recipe you put down to a T! And it tastes exactly how you would cook it!"

Kevin chuckles as he turns his chair to face her. "Heh, thanks for the snack, Red... And uh, my stream has already started, actually... And funny thing, I... I, uh.. I may or may not have accidentally let it slip that me and you are dating..." He let out nervous laughter and pushed his index fingers like earlier.

"You did what?!" Red freaked, almost dropping her tray but she quickly put it in a dresser next to the door. "Kev, I told you! We can't tell people that we're dating!"

"I know! I know! You told me countless times that you didn't want me to tell my fans about us..." He sighed as he rolled his gaming chair towards her, grabbing a cupcake from the tray and eating it. "But I couldn't keep it in. It just came naturally to me to boast about you, Red... You're an amazing girl, I am lucky to be dating someone like you. Like this cupcake tastes really good! Way better than how make it even!" He chuckles and smiles at her as he takes another bite of his cupcake. "So, yeah... I'm really sorry that I ended up spilling the beans there..."

The redhead ended up smiling at his words, giving him a small kiss on the cheek. "I forgive you, my space captain. I am so lucky to be dating an amazing guy like you, after all. Someone who loves me for more than just my looks..." She giggles as she gets her own cupcake and tastes it for herself. "Mmm, not bad. So, uh... How did your fans react to you dating a "famous super model"?" She jokingly waves her hand at the last part of her sentence, giggling and letting out a snort afterwards.

"Oh, you know... First, shock for me even dating anyone in the first place..." They both snickered after he spoke. "And then you know, disbelief because it is just so unbelievable for anyone who isn't that famous to be dating a famous person..." He rolled his eyes.

"Why am I not surprised?" Red laughs, playfully rolling her eyes as she walked towards Kevin's monitor. "So, what's happening now? Is your stream still on or what? You know me, I may play video games but that doesn't mean I know anything when it comes to working a computer..." She giggles.

Kevin chuckled as he rolled back to his desk, nodding. "Yeah, I understand completely. And yeah, my stream is still on. You see us in the monitor, right?" He gets a nod in response. "That's what my fans are seeing right now..." The male chuckles when the girl let out an amazed gasp, giving a small wave. "I got so distracted by you showing up that I completely forgot that I left my stream on." He chuckles more before flinching when Red suddenly slammed her hand on his desk.

"Hey, you fuckwads! I don't know what you've been telling my boyfriend when it comes to not believing him about dating me! But I'm here to tell you fuckos that it's true! We are dating and I couldn't be more happier dating a guy like him!" She smirked. "Still not believing my own words? Well, how's this for more proof?" The redhead grabs his right hand and shows off the matching promise rings they had. "Boom! Matching promise rings, baby! Custom made to fit the wearer's personality!"

Kevin got flustered at her actions. "Red, I appreciate your enthusiasm and all but this feels like too much for me-" He gasped when Red suddenly kisses him on the cheek.

"Sorry, my space captain. Now that you told people about us, I want them to really know that we're an item." She winks at him, causing him to blush. "Well, anyways... Now that your fans know about us... Mind if I join in with you in a stream?! Please?! I always wanted to join a stream but you know... Keeping our relationship a secret." She giggles, an excited grin on her face.

The male nodded, chuckling. "Go grab your gaming chair from the closet then..." He points to said closet, letting out a small noise of surprise when the girl hugged him really tightly. "Woah! Red..."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I literally love you so much right now!" Red gives him a lot of kisses all over his face before giddily rushing to grab the gaming chair. "What are we going to be playing, by the way?!" She opens the walk in closet and goes searching for the gaming chair.

"Hmm..." Kevin turns to his monitor. "Well, I was gonna be playing a random one player game but I guess we can play some Mario Party, maybe..."

Red gasped in amazement, peeking her head out . "And then we can play as Daisy and Luigi like we always do! Ah, I love it! I am actually really happy that you revealed our relationship online now!" She giggles more before going back inside the closet.

"Okay, I'll set up the Switch for us to play that and then..." Kevin starts setting up his Switch then he pauses when he reads his chat again. "Oh... Oh, wow... As you had been worried about, all my chat is all talking about is you now."

"Oh, really?" Red pulls out a gaming chair from the closet, rolling the chair towards where Kevin's was and sat down it. "What have they been saying? Also, just where are people chatting? Like where are you looking at to read what they say?" She squints her eyes as she looks around her monitor for his chat

Kevin chuckles, pointing to the second monitor where he had his chat in. "There. You can read what chat has to see on that monitor."

"Oh! And that's why we bought two monitors! It makes more sense now!" Red giggles, looking at the other monitor and immediately getting angry. "Excuse me?! What are some of these bitches saying?! "Shame he isn't available anymore, I would have loved to date a hottie like him"?! "Why is he even dating the model with the dumb anger issues? He should just break up with her and date someone like me instead, I'd treat him right"?!" She crossed her arms and started to angrily grumble. "Well, I got bad news for you, girls! He's mine and mine alone! You can't have him!"

"Red, Red... Calm down... Breathe..." The male massages her shoulder gently. "Look, just ignore messages like that. I already have the perfect girl in front of me..." He makes her look at him by grabbing a hold of her chin. "Plus, the last thing I'll do is replace you with some fan..."

"But I'm one of your fans..." She pouted up at him. "One of your biggest fans even..."

"I know, I know... I mean them silly..." He gestures to the camera. "Anyway, ready to play some Mario Party?" He grabs one of the Joycons.

"Oh, hell yeah I am!" Red's mood immediately changed, grabbing the joycon. "Get ready to eat Daisy's dirt, Luigi!" She picks Daisy in the character selection.

"Oh, you'll be eating those words, Daisy! Trust me, it'll be Luigi who wins! He is a fan favorite, after all." Kevin smirks before they both laughed and started to play a round of Mario Kart for Kevin's stream.

[myveryownfanfiction]

Chapter 2

When I walked into the office the next morning, I looked in Andy’s office to see Jim, Pam, Kevin and Andy having some discussion. I decided to ignore it unless they called me in on it. I got to work right away, only being distracted when Robert walked in. 

“Good morning Robert.” I smiled at him as he passed my desk. He returned my smile and squeezed my shoulder as he passed. 

“Good morning (Y/N).” Robert turned back to me before going into the conference room. “You free after Dwight’s Sabre meeting?” I nodded. “Good. I’m going to meet with Andy and you right after.” 

“Sounds good.” I nodded again as I made a note of it. Robert smiled at me again before heading into the conference room. A few minutes later, the meeting in Andy’s office ended and everyone filtered out. It was a surprisingly quiet morning. Before we knew it, Dwight was calling us into the conference room for his meeting. I rolled my eyes at Dwight as he filtered us in and immediately moved to the back to sit next to Robert. “If I fall asleep, don’t bother waking me until it’s over.” I joked as I sat down. Robert chuckled. 

“Are Dwight’s meetings that bad?” Robert asked as he put his arm around the back of my chair. Seeing Dwight was about to start his meeting, I nodded. 

“You’re about to see.” I whispered. 

“This week we are rolling out the brand new Sabre tablet...the Pyramid.” Dwight held up a triangle shaped tablet. I sent Robert a confused look. 

“Not my idea.” he leaned closer so I could hear him. I giggled as I nodded my understanding. We looked back at Dwight to see him shaking his head. 

“Oh no no no. Without the battery pack and optional memory booster, it’s barely three pounds.” Dwight’s arms were clearly shaking as he held the tablet. 

“How much memory does it have without the booster?” Ryan spoke up. I leaned closer to Robert. 

“What is this? I know it isn’t your idea but did you really approve this idea?” I turned my head to see Robert’s reaction. He was watching Dwight with confusion clear on his face. 

“I don’t…” Robert turned towards me and gave me a shy smile. “I may have been drunk.” I quickly covered my mouth to hide my laugh. We sat listening to the end of Dwight’s meeting, sharing glances and trying to hide our laughter. Once it was finished, we waited for Andy outside his office and tried to get our laughter under control. The door opened as soon as we finished laughing. 

“Hi dad!” Andy said. I have him a confused look. In any other situation, I would be on the floor laughing but the look on Robert’s face kept sober. “Ah. Oh boy.” Robert brushed over the mistake and walked into the office. 

“Hello Andy.” He looked at Andy’s tie. “Excellent tie.” Erin peaked her head in. 

“Would you be requiring a cold beverage while you’re here?” She asked. Robert looked at Andy while he answered. 

“I’d love some coffee.” Erin nodded as she left the room, closing the door behind her. Robert looked over at me as we sat down in front of Andy’s desk. “I was looking over your projections and I think we can do better.” I bit my lip as I watched Andy crumble. 

“Are you factoring in the...whole national...economy...declining and all that?” Andy was clearly grasping at nothing. Robert gave him a strange look. 

“Are these projections for Andy personally or everyone?” I jumped in. Robert looked at me. 

“The entire office.” He turned his attention back to Andy. “Andy, do you know why I chose you?” 

“I think I can sum it up with what I think is your favorite ice cream flavor.” Andy paused while Robert looked at him. “Vanilla?” Robert chuckled. 

“Vanilla? No no no no. You’ll never guess in a million billion years.” He shook his head. I made a mental note to ask him what it was later. 

“You were saying you chose me.” Andy deflated. “There was a reason?” 

“Andy, can you inspire? Do you have that skill set?” Robert looked at Andy expectantly. Andy was saved by Erin walking back into the office. “Oh! Thank you. Uhm…” The cup Erin was holding was filled to the brim. 

“Oh, sorry.” Erin said as she looked around. 

“Put it on the desk Erin.” I whispered. She nodded as she set it down. Robert leaned down and sipped it. He drew back in shock. 

“That’s very cold.” I looked between Robert and Erin. At least that explained why she hadn’t brunt her hands. 

“Yeah. It’s old.” Erin smiled. I looked at her confused. I opened my mouth to say something but the words wouldn’t come out. 

“Why would I…?” Robert looked at me and then at Erin, confusion clear on his face. 

“I asked if you wanted a cold beverage and you said coffee.” Erin said, confusion clear in her voice. 

“Why don’t we get Robert a nice hot fresh cup and I’ll have this.” Andy cut in. Robert looked at Andy before sharing a look with me. We watched their exchange. When Erin left the office again, Robert turned back to Andy with a smirk. 

“You like her.” He stated. Andy looked at me and back to Robert. Clearly Andy was thinking the same thing as me. If it was that clear Andy liked Erin, how clear was it that I liked Robert?

“You know, we’ve both been into each other at different times and just never really synced up. Now we’re in this weird dance…” Andy attempted to explain himself. 

“I’m afraid you’ve lost my interest.” Robert cut him off, sending a look my way. He walked out of the office and I quickly followed. Andy came out behind me. Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned towards Robert, Andy and I. “If the office superstore was supposed to put us little suppliers out of business, why are we still here?” I watched Robert, trying to figure out what he was doing. Kevin raised his hand. 

“This is where we go.” He said. I nodded and smiled at him. At least he had the guts to actually answer Robert. 

“Oh, you’d go someplace else.” Robert chuckled and looked around the room. “That’s not it. That’s not the answer.” It dawned on me what Robert was trying to do. 

“It’s an answer.” Kevin pushed. Robert looked at him and raised an eyebrow. He was clearly not used to being challenged. 

“It’s a wrong answer.” He stated. I bit my lip, knowing full well Kevin was going to keep going until Robert cut him off. 

“There are no wrong answers.” Kevin shot back. I flashed him a smile again and Kevin nodded in triumph. It was short lived though. 

“Take a look at where you are, where you once worked in a dying industry, you now work at its birth.” Robert said. He turned away from Kevin and I made a note to bring him something for his efforts the next day. “Those superstores are terrified of us. Anybody know why?” I held up my hand to Kevin and shook my head. He had done his best for the day. He didn’t need Robert going after him. 

“Wait,” Phyllis looked at Stanley. “They’re terrified?” Robert chuckled. 

“Let me tell you how I buy something these days. I know what I want, I go to the internet, I get the best price. Or I don’t know what I want and I go to a small store that can help me. The era of personal service is back. You are back. You’ll find that customers will pay our higher prices and then they will thank us, and we will say to them ‘you are welcome.’” Robert nodded at the office as they applauded him. He turned towards Andy and me. “Adnrew, I chose you for a reason. Lead these people. Show me the best numbers this place has ever seen. Last quarter we saw 4% growth. Double it.” My eyes widened. That was a lot to ask of the office.

“You got it.” Andy said. I stepped in. 

“Robert, I’m not sure…” Robert cut me off. 

“Double it.” He started to walk out of the office. I tailed him.

“Done.” Andy called after him. 

“Robert.” I stopped him just outside the office. 

“I’m not kidding (Y/N). I want it doubled.” He said as he leaned against the wall. I nodded. 

“I get that and trust me it’d be great if it happened. But it's going to take some time.” I shook my head. “I don’t know if we can double it this quarter. Eventually sure but not this quarter.” Robert drew closer to me. 

“Double.” He said as he put his hands on my shoulders. “I know the office can do it. Andy can inspire them to do it. If he fails, so be it. It’s on him. But they will at least look to him for incentive.” I closed my eyes and sighed. 

“Fine.” I shook my head. “What role do I play in this?” I opened my eyes and gazed at Robert. It was hard to keep my blush down when he was standing so close to me. 

“You don’t have one.” Robert said with a smile. “All you have to do is keep me informed. It’s the easiest job out of anyone in the office.” I nodded.

“I’ll keep you posted on what Andy does.” I sighed. Robert nodded. 

“I’ll be back later in the day.” He smiled. “I’ll see you then.” Robert leaned in and kissed my cheek before starting off towards the elevator. “Oh. By the way, would you like to get dinner tonight?” he leaned around the corner, a nervous smile on his face. I looked at him wide eyed. 

“That...that sounds lovely.” I gasped. Robert chuckled and nodded. 

“Great! I’ll text you the details later.” He sent another smile my way. “It is a little obvious (Y/N). I know you were wondering earlier.” He called back as he turned back towards the elevators and got in. I stood in place, shock filling my body. As I finally snapped out of it and started walking back into the office, a blush covered my cheeks. I walked in to see Andy sitting on Jim’s desk and everyone looking at him. 

“I was thinking about Robert. Man. What a boss.” Andy saw me walk to my desk in a daze. “Just throws down goals, you know? Anyway, how’s the sales doubling project going?” Jim sent me a look as well but I made a motion that meant I would tell him later. 

“Yeah, how are we supposed to do that.” Phyllis said, sending a look at me. “We can’t just press a magic button.” Andy nodded. 

“Of course not. There’s no magic button. You have to summon that.” He chuckled. 

“If we could just double our sales, we already would have. You’re not making any sense.” Stanley shot back. I snapped out of my daze and gazed around the room. Everyone was throwing looks at me. 

“He brings up two good points. Do you have any new leads? Any new territories you want us to look into?” Jim looked over at me. “Maybe have an in with a big client that we can get our foot in the door?” I pointed at Jim and started digging through Michael’s old accounts. If there was anything there we could get a start at an attempt to win back some old clients. 

“Dwight, anything?” Andy asked, watching me fly through the papers. 

“We could talk about how fast children grow up, and before you know it they’re out of the house.” Dwight said, clearly taking a shot at Jim. 

“You know what? We need to get our heads out of the box. If we did have something what would it look like? What would it be?” Andy said. I gave up on the pile of old clients and shook my head at Jim. He raised his hand again. “Tuna.” 

“New leads, a new territory to look into, maybe an in with a big company that we could get our foot in the door…” Jim trailed off. Everyone was looking at me again. 

“Good sesh.” Andy said as he stood up. He tripped and I had to fight back a laugh. “That leg is asleep.” He started to limp towards his office. “Oh (Y/N). Meeting in five in my office.” I nodded as I went through the list of clients that Jim had pulled up on his computer. 

“Ok now tell us.” Dwight leaned over to join the little group that had gathered around my desk. I turned read as I looked at the group. Jim and Pam were looking at me like they knew what had gotten me so red. Dwight was looking at me like I would tell him I lost the assistant manager position and he had gotten it back. Angela was looking at me like I had grown another head, which wasn’t all that different from how she normally looked at me. Erin looked like it was story time which was kind of cute if I had to admit it. I looked at the camera and sighed. 

“Robert is testing Andy.” I said. “He wants the numbers for this quarter doubled. He seriously does. And this is his way of making Andy prove that he was right to make him manager.” 

“There should be a different way aside from making everyone else do the hard work.” Jim said. “Is there nothing you can do about it (Y/N)?” I shook my head. 

“Believe me. I tried. It was just short of following him out of the building and arguing with him.” I sighed, fighting the grin that was threatening to take over my face. “There is absolutely nothing that can be done about this. We just have to figure out some way that we can double our sales.” Everyone nodded before heading back to their desks. I bit my lip as I noticed Jim, Pam, and Dwight were still looking at me expectantly. “What?” I asked, looking at each of them in turn. 

“Don’t what us.” Pam said. “We saw the way that you came back in here. Robert said something to you.” I blushed and ducked my head. 

“What did he say?” Dwight asked. He leaned on his desk, clearly expecting something that involved the office. 

“Swear you won’t tell anyone.” I looked at the three of them. I knew there was a habit of the whole office finding out everyone’s secrets. I wasn’t taking any chances. Not this time. “Swear it.” 

“We swear.” The three chorused. 

“Now what did he tell you?” Pam leaned closer to me and stared with rapt attention. I smiled at her enthusiasm and knew that she would be asking me a million questions for the rest of the week. 

“Robert asked me to dinner.” I whispered. Pam’s jaw dropped and Jim ran a hand down his face. Dwight looked at me and shook his head before getting back to work. 

“What did you say?” Pam said quietly. I blushed. 

“I said yes.” I smiled as Pam’s smile grew. Jim shook his head. 

“Why would you do it?” Jim asked. Pam sent him a look. 

“Jim. Don’t say that.” Pam scolded him. 

“I did it because I like him.” I shot back. “And while many of you see him as a creep or odd or maybe even think he’s borderline crazy, I think that’s what makes him a good CEO and a good person. So say what you want Jim. I’m going to do what I think is right.” Jim sighed before shaking his head. 

“Fine. But don’t forget he is the CEO.” Jim said. “And that he is a fairly creepy guy. Even if he is a genius.” Pam squeezed my hand and smiled at me. 

“It’s going to go great. I just know it.” She said. “Tell me everything tomorrow.” I nodded and struggled a little to get back to work. Before long, Andy was calling everyone into the conference room. 

“Thanks for coming in guys.” Andy said as we all filled in. I took a spot next to Jim and Pam since Robert wasn’t there to amuse me. 

“You don’t have to thank us for coming in.” Phyllis said as she took a seat. “It’s our job.” 

“Well I never got thanks for coming into a meeting and I always wanted to be so I’m gonna thank people.” Andy sassed her. I sighed and rubbed my forehead at his actions. This was not going to end well. 

“What’s with the blanket?” I finally asked as everyone settled into their seats. Andy removed it with a flourish. 

“This is what’s under the blanket.” Andy said. I closed my eyes and sighed. I doubted that this is what Robert had in mind when he told Andy to inspire the office. 

“We don’t get it.” Oscar said. 

“These are incentives. It’s how we’re gonna double growth. Now, you’re probably all asking yourselves: ‘Well, how does this work?’” Andy was putting on a show and I did not want to see where it went. 

“Seems like a basic reward system where you give us points, and then we redeem those points for prizes.” Pam jumped in. 

“You’re exactly right and you get a point.” Andy smiled at her. I rolled my eyes and stood up. 

“And I’m out.” I said, moving towards the door. 

“How does one get a point?” I heard Meredith ask as I made my way to my desk. Shaking my head, I pulled out my phone. I sat down and looked at the contact I pulled up. Biting my lip, I pressed the dial button.

“Hello?” The voice on the other end answered. 

“Hi Michael.” I breathed out. I heard the smile on the other end of the line even though I could not see it. 

“(Y/N)!” Michael exclaimed. “What’s shaking?” I laughed and walked into the annex. 

“Can’t I just call my favorite manager?” I joked. Michael laughed.

“You can but that’s not what you do.” He said. I sighed. “What’s happening at the office?” I spent the next ten minutes filling him in. “Is that all?” Michael sighed. 

“Michael, I don’t know what to do.” I ran a hand down my face. “I’m being asked by the CEO to effectively spy on the rest of the office. On top of that, I’m going to go out with him.” I stood up and started pacing. “What do I do? How do I handle this?” 

“(Y/N), you need to breathe.” Michael said calmly. “You do what has been asked of you. But you do it on your terms. Give him what you think he should know. If you think all he should know is the basics, then tell him the basics. If you think he should know everything, then tell him everything.” I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. 

“And what about….” I sighed. “The other part?” Michael laughed. 

“(Y/N), you really expect me to give you advice on that?” He teased. “I married the woman everyone told me not to go after. Do you honestly think I am going to be the one to tell you not to go out with him?” I laughed. 

“I suppose you are right Michael.” I admitted. “Speaking of, how is Holly?” Michael sighed. 

“Her parents aren’t doing that great but she’s doing fairly well otherwise.” He said. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” I said quietly. “How are you holding up?” 

“I’m good. A little bored spending all day at home with the kids.” Michael waited for the ball to drop. 

“Kids?” I exclaimed. “Michael, you’re a dad?” 

“Yeah. Best thing that ever happened to me.” He said. 

“That’s what she said.” I giggled. Michael’s laugh came over the line and I felt myself finally relax for the first time that day. “In all seriousness Michael, congrats.”

“Thanks (Y/N).” He said happily. 

“Well, I guess I’ll let you get back to the kids then. Thanks for all of your help Michael. It means an awful lot to me that you actually answered.” I said. 

“I’ll always pick up the phone for you (Y/N). You know that.” He said. “I’m always there for any of you. And I always will be.” 

“I know Michael.” I confirmed. 

“Tell you what, one day you bring that CEO of yours around and introduce me to him. We’ll see if he’s good enough for you.” Michael teased. 

“I’ll do that Michael. I’ll talk to you later.” I said, tears threatening to spill over. Michael said his goodbyes and hung up. I wiped away the tears and pulled up Robert’s contact. Michael was still looking out for me, even though he wasn’t in Scranton anymore. I went back into the main office and looked at everyone bustling around. 

“What’s going on?” I asked Pam. She was smiling and working on some drawings. 

“Andy said if we get five thousand points, he’ll get a tattoo on his ass.” She said before showing me a couple of drawings. My mouth fell open as I looked at the drawings. 

“How many points do you have now?” I asked. Pam looked at Jim. 

“Halfway there.” He said. Looking around the office, I nodded as I started to walk out of the office. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts. Finding the one I was looking for, I pressed call and waited for Robert to answer his phone. 

“Robert California.” I smiled at the way he answered his phone. 

“Hi Robert. It’s (Y/N).” I said. 

“(Y/N)! I was actually just going to call you. How are things at the office?” He asked. I bit my lip and made a split second decision about what to tell him. 

“Andy found an incentive.” I said. “He had the office halfway to the amount that they need to get him to get a tattoo on his butt.” Robert chuckled. 

“That’s how he’s doing it?” He asked. The absurdity of the act finally caught up to me. 

“Yeah. That’s what he’s doing.” I said. “It’s ridiculous but it’s working.” 

“That’s good.” Robert said. I heard cheering coming from the office. “What’s that noise?” 

“Hold on let me check.” I walked back into the office and nearly dropped my phone when I saw the points total. “Holy shit they did it. In one day. They’ve doubled sales and gotten enough points for Andy to have to get a tattoo.” Robert gasped on the other end of the line. 

“They seriously did it?” He asked, astonished. 

“They did it Robert.” I breathed. I looked around the office as everyone filed into the conference room. “They really did it.” 

“Were you going to go with them when Andy….” Robert trails off, leaving the question unasked. 

“I didn’t plan on it.” I said. “That wasn’t something I particularly wanted to see. Why do you ask?” I heard Robert chuckle on the other end. 

“Did you want to move our date up?” He asked. I rubbed my bottom lip. 

“Am I going to get out of work for the rest of the day? Or do I have to wait to finish my work some other time?” I asked. Robert chuckled and I had to turn towards my desk to hide the blush that was coloring my face. I started to gather my belongings and head out the door. 

“You are out of work for the rest of the day. But I will have to dock the pay.” Robert teased. I laughed and left a note for Pam on her desk. 

“That’s okay sir. I’ll just stay late tomorrow to make it back.” I teased him back. “Where are we going? This way I know where to meet you.” I had entered the elevator and was headed out to the parking lot. 

“About that…” Robert trailed off. 

“What do you…” I laughed as I walked outside and saw Robert leaning against his car with his phone pressed to his ear. Robert hung up and came over to me. “You do like the element of surprise.” I stood in front of him and shook my head. 

“Is that really so bad?” He asked, gently taking my belongings from me. I shook my head. 

“No. It’s not.” I made my way over to his car and opened the trunk. Robert smiled as he put my stuff in there and closed it. 

“I have to do an interview and then we can leave.” He said and I nodded before getting in the car. He walked off to join the camera crew and they started filming. I listened in while checking my messages from Pam. Apparently they changed the design last minute and gave Andy a dog that was dressed like him. “Why did I choose Andy to run the office? Because he’s all surface, uncomplicated. What you see is what you get. Could be a recipe for mediocrity, yes, but then again, it might just be why people fight for him.” I smiled at Robert’s comments about Andy. “There’s something about an underdog that really inspires,” he paused and I looked over at him. “The unexceptional.” The crew nodded to show that he was done and he walked back over to the car. Getting in, Robert looked at me. “What?” I smiled and shook my head. 

“Nothing.” I said. Robert gave me a look. “Ok just that was actually pretty good. I didn’t realize you chose him because the office would do anything for him just as much as he would do anything for them.” Robert smiled and started the car before pulling out of the parking lot.

“Sometimes people surprise you.” He said. Looking over at me, Robert paused. “And sometimes people make you think twice about what you are doing.” I played with the hem of my shirt. 

“I make you think twice?” I asked. Robert nodded and cocked his head. 

“In a good way.” He assured me. “You had me second guessing the whole double the figures speech I gave Andy the second I stepped into the elevator. And since that first day I’ve been thinking about how you should have become manager and not Andy. But the little stunt he pulled today, I’m not quite sure you would have been able to do that.” I laughed and shook my head. 

“No way would I let them design a tattoo and put it on my ass!” Robert laughed and I rolled up my sleeve. “I let my friends talk me into getting a group one when we graduated. It ended up terribly because we let the least artistic person in the group design it.” I showed Robert the tattoo on the inside of my arm by the elbow. 

“What is it supposed to be?” He asked as we pulled up to a stop light and he looked at my arm. 

“The eye of Horus.” I laughed. “Surrounded by a crown. Even though you wouldn’t tell at first glance.” Robert looked closer and nodded. 

“I can see it once you point it out.” He chuckled before taking off down the street again. 

“Which is exactly why I wouldn’t let anyone design a tattoo for me ever again.” I rolled down my sleeve and smiled at him. “Even Pam and she’s a great artist.” 

“Understandable.” Robert said as he pulled into the parking lot of an apartment building. “Is this ok?” I looked at him confused. “It’s my apartment. I thought we could maybe cook something up and have dinner in.” My gaze softened as I nodded. 

“That actually sounds like fun.” I said. Robert smiled as he got out and came around the car to open my door. I got out and followed him up to his apartment. “It’s nice.” I said when Robert led me through the tour. 

“It’s really not.” He said with a laugh. “But I’m glad you like it.” He finished the tour in the kitchen where we got to work right away. We kept each other entertained while cooking and at one point, Robert wrapped his arms around my waist as I stood at the stove. I turned my head to look at him and saw that he had the biggest smile on his face. 

“Hi.” I said as I returned his smile. “Can I help you?” Robert laughed and shook his head. 

“Nope.” He said, pulling me closer to him. I giggled as I quickly put down the spoon that I was using to stir the pot of sauce. “Just enjoying myself and the company.” 

“That’s good to hear.” I teased as I put my hands on top of his. “But can I go back to making sure the sauce doesn’t burn?” Robert loosened his hold on me and I moved closer to the stove again. I gently tugged him with me and settled back into him as we waited for the food to finish cooking. Not long after, we made our plates and went to sit at the table. Sitting down, we started to eat. Throughout the dinner we asked each other questions about our lives and things we didn’t already know. 

“I want to warn you, I’m in the middle of a divorce right now.” Robert said hesitantly. “She’s got the house right now and I would have taken you there if it wasn’t for her.” I nodded. 

“That’s fine.” I said, waving a hand at the comment about the house. “As long as I’m not breaking up something. I don’t mind.” Robert seemed to sag in relief before raising an eyebrow.

“What about you?” He asked. 

“In the middle of a divorce?” I laughed and shook my head. “Nope. Never even been married and definitely no significant other.” Robert cocked his head at me. 

“Well, I would have expected that someone like you would have…” Robert broke off and waved his hand. 

“Nah.” I shook my head again. “Tried that in college and it didn’t work out all that well. They were an ass. Decided it would happen when it happened after that.” Robert nodded and the dinner quieted down after that. Once we had cleared the table and cleaned up, we settled down to watch a little television. Robert put his arm over the back of the couch and I rested my head on his shoulder. It was late when Robert drove me back to the office to get my car. He helped me transfer my stuff from his trunk to mine before opening my door for me. 

“I had fun tonight (Y/N).” He said, stalling for time. I nodded and smiled at him. 

“I did too.” I said. “Best date I’ve ever had.” Robert smiled before reaching for my hand. I put my hand in his. Robert lifted it and kissed my knuckles. 

“So does that mean I get a second date?” He asked, lips still poised over my knuckles.

[thrillridesz]

loving you ▫ hyunjae

➳ pairing: idol!hyunjae x female reader ➳ genre: angst ➳ word count: 3.2k ➳ requested?: yes a/n: unedited! also hope this was good lmao it’s my first full angst fic so fingers crossed XP do let me know what you guys think!! any form of feedback is greatly appreciated!

“Mommy, how much longer?”

Your 5 year old daughter peers up at you with lidded eyes, already starting to get bored and worn out from the prolonged wait under the summer heat. She leans against you, her little hands grasping your bigger ones, a small yawn escaping from her lips. You reached up to run your fingers affectionately through her soft hair, feeling her hum quietly.

“Just a little longer, sweetie. Just a little longer,” you whisper and she nods, starting to drift off to sleep. Looping your arm behind her back and holding her close, your eyes swept the vicinity cautiously, highly aware of the confused stares being shot in your direction.

The park was teeming with people but a majority of them weren’t your usual park goers just going about their own business. They were fangirls and fanboys and throngs of them. It was easy to identify who they were with their huge, professional looking cameras slung around their necks as well as the huge multi-coloured banners they carried with them and the wearable fan merchandise they wore. The atmosphere was lively and full of vibrant energy with excitement practically radiating off of them as they huddled around a makeshift stage and a long table coupled with chairs that were set up on the park square. Although the summer heat was sweltering, it did nothing to dull their mood as they waited for the arrival of their idols. It was a small meet and greet session of sorts on a hot summer’s day but it did not deter fans from showing up.

As they waited, some were beginning to cast you odd looks as you sat on a nearby bench with your daughter in your arms, seemingly holding a ticket stub in your hand. It was a ticket for the meet and greet session later. From the looks on their faces, you could tell they were wondering how a lady like you with a child in tow would even find the time to come to a meet and greet, especially in this weather but you paid them no mind. Staring at the ticket blankly as you hugged your daughter who was fast asleep closer to you, you couldn’t help but feel your hands begin to tremble.

Suddenly, a piercing squeal broke the tense atmosphere in the park, a girl pointing shakily at a huge,black van that had rolled up some distance away, behind a barrier that separated them and the stage from the fans. As the crowd rushed forward excitedly, you felt a sense of foreboding within you instead, feeling so far from excited or even remotely happy.

You could look from a distance as the van door slid open and out stepped the members of the music sensation, THE BOYZ. With unparalleled talent and dashing good looks to match, these boys were instant heartthrobs, capturing hearts everywhere they went and quickly gaining popularity amongst the public. As they emerged from the vehicle one by one, you felt your heart begin to beat faster as you grip on your daughter’s hand tightened. When he finally stepped out, trailing behind the rest of the members with a smile on his face, you felt your heart flutter despite yourself.

There he was. Lee Jaehyun or better known by his stage name, Hyunjae.

It had been a little over five years since you had seen him in person but he still looked the exact same as how you had remembered him, with that bright trademark smile of his that would light up any room he is in. Watching his cruise by the fans and across the park to take his place along with the others on the wooden stage felt surreal, as if you couldn’t believe this was really happening.

“Mommy, who are they? Are they who we’re waiting for?”

Your daughter asked in a sleepy voice, rousing from her slumber from the loud noises and squeals emitted by the fans. You smiled down shakily at her as you held her small face in your hand.

“Yes, they are.”

Hyunjae would have given almost anything to be back in the dorm room to catch up on some sleep.

Grimacing a little at the brightness of the sun shining down relentlessly on the earth, he tried his best to maintain the smile on his face. Feeling Kevin nudge him a little, he straightened and flashed the crowd a dazzling smile despite his fatigue as they posed for pictures. As much as he’d have loved to be asleep and enjoying himself in good ol’ slumberland, he couldn’t help but feel a spark of joy and pride in his heart whenever he stood before the fans. It was thanks to them that THE BOYZ even got to where they were today. Words couldn’t have expressed how grateful or happy he was to have them yet sometimes… Hyunjae stifled a yawn as he listened to the host making his introductory speech; he wished he could’ve had a bit more time to himself. His eyes swept the crowd curiously and as he looked up to stare into the distance, he saw a certain someone that made his heart still.

No way.

The figure was approaching slowly from behind with a small child in her hand. Since practically everyone was too preoccupied with the ongoing event, nobody had noticed her but he did. He most definitely did. He hadn’t seen your face in years but he recognised you the moment his sights landed on you. A 100 years could pass and he would still have been able to remember you. Hyunjae tried not to let himself be distracted by how beautiful you looked under the sun, the sunlight giving you a seemingly glowing look. There was a sense of dread in him but he couldn’t help but be enamoured by your beauty, especially after years without a single interaction. As his eyes drifted down and he spotted your child, he felt his heart fall with a sloppy splat and chills started to set in, so much so that he could feel cold sweat running down his back even as he stood under the sun.

“Hyung, are you ok? You look a little pale.” Kevin whispered, his eyes crinkling with concern in them as he placed a hand on his back reassuringly. Following his gaze, the latter couldn’t help but gasp.

“That’s…”

Hyunjae gritted his teeth nervously.

“Yes. It’s y/n, alright.”

You could hear the fans talking among themselves behind you as you handed the staff your ticket stub for the fanmeet. Trying your best to ignore them, you gripped onto your daughter’s hand nervously while the guy stamped your ticket.

From the corner of your eye, you could feel Hyunjae’s gaze on you. It felt hot and searing, as if his gaze was literally boring holes into you. You felt your daughter lean into you as she started to notice the reaction of the crowd behind you, with their curious looks and loud whisperings. Holding her close to you, you kept a firm stance as the guy handed you back your ticket. As you proceeded to approach the table where the boys were seated for the meet and greet, the guy held out a hand, stopping you. You peered at him quizzically, your arm holding your daughter closer almost protectively.

“I’m afraid only one of you can proceed with the meet and greet.”

You felt your mouth go dry as you asked, “W-What?”

He gestured pointedly at the single ticket in your hand.

“One ticket per person only.”

You looked at him wide-eyed as your daughter’s little hands held onto you.

“I… I can’t possibly leave my daughter alone here!”

The guy shrugged, like he couldn’t be bothered.

“Sorry, that’s the rules. I just work here, no can do.”

You looked down at your daughter who stared up at you innocently, not realising the situation you have on your hands. You couldn’t possibly leave her alone in this crowd, not with people pushing and talking over everyone else. Is this going to be all for nothing? Gazing at the single ticket in your hand quietly, the staff tutted impatiently at you.

“Lady if you want to proceed, please do. Don’t hold up the line.”

“The girl can stay by my side right here,” a voice spoke up and the both of you turned.

Kevin had a small smile on his face as he gestured at the empty space next to him, seeing as he was first in line.

“But-”

“I insist.” He said in a voice that indicated whatever he said was final.

Reluctantly, the guy waved you in and as you walked towards Kevin, you felt like you were on edge as if you weren’t sure what to do. Do you thank him? Do you talk to him as if it was the old times when you could hang around them freely?

“It’s been awhile, y/n.” He said warmly as you sat down on the seat opposite from him. Looking to your right, you watched as Hyunjae turned away quickly. He wasn’t very far - Only a couple seats away.

“Yes, it has been.” You replied shakily, trying to keep your cool.

Kevin peered at you with a knowing look in his eyes.

“Y/n, I may not be able to understand how you’re feeling right now-”

“And you never will.”

His eyebrows lifted slightly, a little alarmed at your remark. A look of embarrassment flickered across his face.

“Ok, that was wrong of me to say, I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”

You were silent for a moment before you said, “I don’t mean to lash out at you.”

Kevin smiles reassuringly at you.

“It’s ok.”

“Mommy, who’s this?” Your daughter who was standing beside him chipped in.

Before you could reply, he grinned at her.

“I’m Kevin! What is your name?”

Suddenly shy under his gaze, she replied in a small voice with her head down.

“I’m Chaeryeong.”

“Chaeryeong, that’s a really sweet name. Are you as sweet as your name implies?”

Growing red in the face, your daughter covered her face and turned away. As much as you hated to admit it, seeing the two of them interact was extremely heartwarming and you couldn’t help but allow a smile to tug at your lips.

Kevin chuckled as he turned to you.

“She’s cute.”

You nodded. “She really is.”

“She’s… His. Isn’t she?” He said, in a lower voice but more serious now.

You clenched your fists tightly at your sides.

“She is.”

“How have the two of you been?”

“We’ve been good. Thanks for asking.” You said in a neutral tone, deflecting his attempts at a conversation once more.

“That’s excellent to hear.” He could only smile in return.

The girl next to you was beginning to leave her seat, signalling it was time to move along the line.

“It was great meeting you Kevin.” You said hastily as you moved on towards Sangyeon who wore an extremely surprised look on his face as he observed you. Turning to Kevin, you noticed the widening of his eyes at the sight of Chaeryeong.

Bracing yourself for yet another awkward conversation, you were prepared to move when you felt Kevin hold onto your hand. Swiveling to look at him, he shook your hand firmly.

“I’m here for you anytime.”

As he let go, you felt a piece of scrap paper in your hands with a number scrawled haphazardly on it.

“I don’t need it.”

“Then feel free to throw it away later. For now, just keep it.” He said gently before turning to the next fan in line with a cheery grin, effectively ending the conversation.

Before Hyunjae was Kevin, Sangyeon, Chanhee, Juyeon and Sunwoo. As you sat in front of them, the reaction you got was all the same. Pure alarm and surprise followed by an extremely awkward conversation. The questions had mostly been the same.

“How have you been?”

“Are you coping well?”

“How’s your daughter doing?”

All of which you deflected or avoided answering.

It felt like ages before you found yourself just right next to Hyunjae and in front of Sunwoo who looked uncomfortable with how things were. Although the two of you made small talk ( though it was more of Sunwoo trying to talk to you and you answering with one worded replies ), you could feel the tension between you and Hyunjae. His eyes drifted to you occasionally even as he engaged in conversation with the fan in front of him. As he laughed, you could tell there was no mirth or joy in his eyes but rather panic and fear. His hands were balled into fists in front of him and you could see the vein bulging on the top of his hand and you had to resist the urge to scoff.

Eventually Sunwoo got the message that you weren’t all that interested to actually engage in any form of small talk and he only remained silent, feeling beyond unsettled as he sat wedged in between you and Hyunjae. When the fan in front of Hyunjae moved, you stared intently at him as you took your seat in front of him. The smile he was wearing looked so forced that you wondered if he risked pulling a facial muscle somewhere.

“Hi, y/n. Long time no see.” He said with a charming smile on his face but he wasn’t fooling you. You could see the turmoil in his eyes.

“Long time no see indeed.” You replied coldly and he flinched at the iciness of your voice, his smile wavering slightly. “Is that really what you say to an ex lover you abandoned?”

The alarm and terror in his eyes was real and obvious, seemingly shocked at how straightforward you were and honestly, you didn’t just surprise him. You surprised yourself as well.

His voice dropped to a mere, meek whisper, in a fashion so unlike his usual boisterous and outgoing persona as seen on camera or with friends.

“I didn’t mean to, y/n. You know that. I had no choice.”

You wanted to scream. You wanted to pound at his chest. You wanted to reach across and throttle him. Yet, all you did was take in a deep breath as you sat on your hands.

“No choice?” The bitterness in your voice made him look up at you. “No choice? You had every choice, Jaehyun. Every. Single. Fucking. Choice.”

He bit his lip anxiously, the regret and emotional grief clear in those dark eyes of his that you used to say that you could stare into forever.

“We were bound to prepare for debut soon. I had to end it abruptly.” Hyunjae pleaded softly, looking at if he was about to break down.

You raised an eyebrow at him before you leaned forward and instinctively, he leaned back but you gripped on to his hand, pulling him forward gently but firmly. You caught his gaze and said, “Don’t you dare shrink away right now. You will not be a turtle this time, retreating into your cosy little shell at the first sign of conflict. Be a man and face me.”

Hyunjae swallowed thickly and you continued.

“Scared? You should be. You left me to be a wreck, you abandoned me when I needed you most. You, Lee Jaehyun are the lowest form of life I’ve ever seen. I don’t care if you do not want to take responsibility but I just want you to know that the reason all of this happened is partly your fault. I want you to live with that knowledge in mind.” You spat out with as much conviction as you could but you could feel the bitter tears begin to prick at the back of your mind.

“Please don’t say that! I still love you dearly, y/n. Please, I really do. I was just really confused and career driven and I-”

“And you what Jaehyun? And you what?”

He stared at you with such tenderness in his eyes that you almost fell for him all over again. Almost.

“I missed you every day. I really did.”

You felt a choking feeling in your throat as you echoed, “You missed me?”

He nodded sadly, clasping your hands in his.

“I did.”

You were quiet for a brief moment as you tried to take in what he was saying. Did he mean it or was this another of his lies?

Only one way to tell.

Pointing to where Chaeryeong stood next to Kevin at the start of the line, your heart constricted in an almost numbing pain as you watched her giggle with joy while popping bubbles that Kevin was blowing, a huge smile on his face.

“Look at her, Jaehyun.”

“I-I…”

“I said, look at her!”

Slowly, he turned his head to where you were looking at Chaeryeong.

You watched as his eyes softened momentarily only to harden with denial and terror. Internally, you felt like something in you died once and for all.

It was hope.

It was subconscious hope you didn’t even know you had. It was a shred of hope you had that maybe, just maybe he would have at least been able to accept Chaeryeong as his own flesh and blood. That he could maybe acknowledge her.

Apparently however, fate had other plans. One look at the horrified look on his face shattered any form of expectation, hope and dreams of reuniting you had. You could hear the distant crack of your heart as it finally shattered into a million pieces. The ridiculousness of it all almost made you want to laugh out loud.

What was it you expected? Did you really expect him to drop everything just to come back to you and Chaeryeong? Give up his golden career for you and a child he had never even once interacted with?

“S-She’s a lovely child.” He croaked out, turning to you with a weak smile which quickly fell as he saw the look on your face.

“Y/n…”

“Yeah, she is and you know what? You can shove it and stay the fuck away from me and her with your nasty lies and disgusting self.” The tears were beginning to stream down your face as you withdrew your hands from his, feeling the warmth from his lingering touch disappear. He stared at you, realisation at his own reaction dawning upon him.

Frantically, he spluttered, “That was not what I mean! I was just-”

“Surprised? So overwhelmed with ‘love’? Or maybe you mean repulsed?” You bit out each word venomously and you could see Sunwoo shrinking further and further into his seat while Jacob who was sitting next to him watched you with concern.

“My greatest regret in life is falling in love with you, Lee Jaehyun. My greatest regret is being with you. My greatest fucking regret is ever meeting you.”

“Y/n!”

With that, you made a mad dash from the stage, grabbing Chaeryeong’s hand in yours and storming off. The crowd stared at you, confused and shocked at your supposed outburst. The tears were now rolling uncontrollably down your cheeks and from the corner of your eye, you could see Kevin standing up as if trying to approach you but the ache in your heart only intensified when you realised that Jaehyun simply sat where he was, seemingly shell shocked but never attempting to approach you.

“My greatest regret in life is falling in love with you, Lee Jaehyun.” You repeated to yourself through tears.