#robert california fanfiction

[allmyandroids]

we all know that you are not vanilla Robert ❤️‍🔥👀

[floralcyanidee]

ɪ sᴇᴇ ғɪʀᴇ - ᴊ. ʀᴏʙᴇʀᴛ ᴏᴘᴘᴇɴʜᴇɪᴍᴇʀ

Cillian!Oppenheimer x AFAB!Reader (NSFW)

request: scientist reader and Oppenheimer have sm sexual tension between them and trying to hide their feelings for each other cause they're colleagues but then when the Manhattan Project comes up and they both work on it together it just gets too much to handle. by @aporiasposts

disclaimer: this is a work of fanfiction. cillian's representation of oppenheimer is also fictional to a degree. if you dislike this kind of fanfiction, please keep scrolling and do not interact with this post. otherwise, have a lovely day. ♥

warnings: smut, penetrative sex, p in v sex, unprotected sex, multiple positions used, mutual pining, years of sexual tension

word count: 2090

author’s note: please read the disclaimer several times if you must before you decide to comment something snarky or send a dense anonymous ask. (: this is my first time writing smut for Robert so it was interesting!! I rather enjoyed it and I think I'm going to finish the other smut I was going to write for him. also, I changed the request details a little. reader is a historian/ political scientist of sorts instead of a scientist. I feel like there is a lot of scientist!reader fics out there and wanted to be a little different haha. I hope everyone enjoys!

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Having a doctorate in history has led you to places you never thought possible. One of those places ended up being the University of California - Berkeley. You were given the opportunity to lecture there with some of the brightest minds in the country- one of them being physicist Dr. J. Robert Oppenheimer. Your disciplines differed but had the same solid foundation of facts, evidence, and logic. Needing to see things to believe it for yourself was one thing the two of you had in common, which brought you together. You were interested in his lectures and as he was yours. Both of you have learned a lot from each other and have become good friends. However, there were times when you would interact, and it felt intense. You’d grade papers together in comfortable silence, sometimes stealing glances at one another. Whenever you caught Robert staring, you’d give him a small, knowing smile. When he caught you staring, he’d hold your gaze, which made you nervous. 

You enjoyed attending Robert’s political discussions after class to see how passionate he was about current issues. Dr. Lawrence, your other beloved colleague, often warned you to avoid them, but you ignored him. The energy you’d feel toward Robert every time he’d rant about how every person deserves the freedom and the right to choose was electric. It was the very basis of your beliefs as a historian and a professor. The two of you would often go for a cigarette in the courtyard between classes to enjoy the fresh air and discuss politics. Robert loved hearing your stance on things, especially since you knew your stuff about the history of politics and how things work with them. The tensions were high that day, and before you knew it, Robert leaned into you as you spoke. But before anything could happen, it was time for classes to resume. So you went your respective ways. 

When you were contacted by the government to assist on a top-secret project, you were shocked. They needed your expertise in politics and history, as well as your reading and writing skills. You asked if Robert would be involved due to his talent in psychics, but you got no answer. You didn’t take long to learn of Dr. Lawrence’s involvement in the project, and you were ecstatic to have someone you knew tagging along. He was worried about Robert not being present for the Manhattan Project simply because of his mutual and close friends being communists. You insisted you’d speak to Robert about the matter, but Ernest objected. However, after a meeting about the Spanish Revolution that Robert had held, Ernest blew up on him. He mentioned there was a project and that Robert wasn’t allowed on it as long as he was sticking his nose in communist politics. So, Robert stopped the meetings, and sure enough, General Leslie Groves eventually poked his way into Robert’s office one afternoon to discuss the Project. 

Now, the three of you were involved and had to leave Berkeley. Robert quickly assumed the position of Project leader and already had a location picked out for the Project headquarters. You had heard many stories of this location from him and demanded he take you to it before construction began. You and Robert left Berkeley and traveled to Los Alamos via horse, talking and laughing the whole time about your childhoods and times in school. You both decided to camp there overnight and enjoy the desert and its beautiful sky before dealing with the most significant project in human history. As you sat by the fire that night with Robert, you stared at the sky in wonder. Robert watched you with just as much wonder, enjoying seeing you smile. Because pretty soon, there wouldn’t be much to smile about.

By the time you had moved into Los Alamos and started getting to work, the tension between you and Robert was becoming impalpable. The camping trip solidified whatever was going on between you two- even if it was nothing at all as of right now. Robert ensured you were at every meeting so you could give your two cents if it was needed; you were the brains and the empathy of the project. Gen. Groves admired you for it because no matter how steep the project was getting, you never once panicked or got in over your head. He also admired how you managed to keep your hands off Robert despite how you looked at him. And one day, he mentioned it to you.

“What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get out of here?” Gen. Groves asked you one day during a field test.

“Oh, uh,” you hadn’t given it much thought, “I’m not sure. Probably continue lecturing.”

“No one special in your life you want to be with?” Groves asked, a kind smile on his face.

“Not really,” you mumbled sadly, your eyes glanced over at Robert, “Not yet, anyway.”

“Maybe once all of this is over, you can pursue them,” Groves suggested knowingly, “We’re so close now. It won’t be long.”

You nodded, seeing that he knew who was on your mind just by how he studied you, “Maybe.”

After all the hard work and growing sexual tension over the tedious years at Los Alamos, the bubble separating you and Robert finally burst the morning of the Trinity Test. The test was a success, and Robert was basking in the afterglow. Everything from getting his hand shaken to being carried by the crowd of excited and ecstatic workers- it brought him some relief. There’s always sunshine before the rain. 

You invited Robert over to your quaint house on the outskirts of Los Alamos for your nightly glass of wine, but this time it was heavier. It was more meaningful because you finally accomplished what you’d been working so hard for. When Robert sat next to you on the chaise next to the fireplace, his leg touched yours. The sexual energy was like a thick, wet blanket. You took large gulps of your wine as Robert’s eyes stared into yours, his glass pressed to his lips with slower sips.

“I can’t believe it’s all over,” you shook your head.

“Me either.”

“What do we do now? What’s life after this going to be like?”

“I’m not sure about that,” Robert had set his wine down on the floor, “But I’m sure about something else.”

“And what’s that?” you asked, polishing off your drink.

“You.”

You slowly sat back up after putting your empty glass on the floor by your feet, “Me?”

“Yes,” Robert paused, “Ever since I met you, I’ve wanted you in ways I can’t explain. And I can usually explain anything.”

You chuckled at that, nodding in agreement, “That you can.”

Robert leaned in, and your smile faltered. His hand reached up to touch your cheek gently, his thumb pushing some of your hair out of the way. Your eyes fluttered shut as you waited with bated breath for Robert to finally, finally kiss you. It had been years of waiting now. And the second his lips pressed to yours, all that time seemed to drift away. There was an explosion in your chest at the feeling of Robert pressing against you on the chaise, pushing you down onto its cushions. His coat and tie have long since been discarded, so all you have to do is worry at the buttons of his shirt with your shaking fingers. Eventually, you get the shirt opened and off his slender frame as it hovered over you. Robert let his skillful tongue slip past your lips with ease, exploring every centimeter of your mouth. How you had longed for this moment.

“Need you, Robert,” you pulled away for air and sighed as his hands pushed up your legs and underneath your dress, “Always have.”

“I’m here, darling. I’m here now.”

Robert shoved the skirt of your dress over your hips and stomach, revealing your slowly soaking white and dainty underwear. He hummed in satisfaction when his finger circled the wet spot at your entrance, causing a moan to leave your lips.

“Eager, are we?” he teased, pulling down your underwear without hesitation.

“Yes,” you said bravely, “Now, nothing fancy tonight. We have plenty of time for other things, but for now, I need you inside me.”

“Alright then,” Robert chuckles, hastily unbuckling his slacks before pushing them far enough down his legs to be comfortable.

He glided his tip along your slickness, gathering all he could to push inside you with less friction. You whined at the contact, a wanton moan escaping you suddenly as he moved into you at a patient pace. But you were anything but patient, especially at this point. You pushed your hips, causing Robert to enter you further, to which he let out a delicious groan. His hands gripped your sides intensely, sure to leave bruises tomorrow. He buried his face in your neck, his teeth baring down into the skin as he felt you suck his cock in. 

“Wanted- needed this for so long,” Robert whispered in your ear as his tip finally brushed against your insides.

“God, me too,” you cried out when he slowly pulled back out and then slammed back into you, “Fuck.”

“Such a dirty mouth,” Robert tutted playfully, to which you flashed him a smile, moving your hips to wiggle him further inside you.

Robert had thrust himself into you again, this time a little faster than the last. He kept doing this until he had a steady rhythm, lifting your legs to put on his shoulders to get a better angle. You growled at the sensation of him hitting your cervix, and your hands scratched down his back. Robert picked up speed, almost making the chaise scoot on the floor. He was fucking you like mad, and you were taking every second of it like his cock was water and you were thirsting in the desert. In this situation, the figure of speech wasn’t too far from the truth. The feeling of him repeatedly steering into your stomach made you nearly squeal from pleasure. Robert presses your thighs to your shoulders, the undersides of them against his chest. You were a mess, moaning like a whore and gripping Robert as if you blinked hard enough, he’d disappear.

“Taking me like such a good girl,” Robert grunted, moving a hand to your cunt to swipe at your clit in time with his thrusts.

You tossed your head back, crying out at the sensation. No one had ever fucked you with such vigor and passion. You felt that growing bubble in your gut, expecting it to burst any second.

“Cum in me,” you demanded, “Need to feel you.”

Robert laughed breathlessly at you, “Are you sure?”

“Certain.”

And as if he weren’t going fast enough, he pulled out, flipped you over, and took you from behind even faster than before. Robert pushed your cheek into the chaise cushion, watching you as you side-eyed him with utmost pleasure. You could feel yourself clenching around him, your orgasm creeping up. Robert pushed your lower back down as far as it’d go, your stomach flush with the material of the chaise underneath you. Your ass being in the air caused Robert to hit a new spot inside you, sending you reeling and spilling over the edge. As your cunt suffocated his cock with its walls, Robert followed your release with his own. His hot cum filled you up with warmth, your hips still bouncing against him. Robert panted from behind you, slowly pulling himself out of your now-dripping pussy. 

You rolled back onto your back, now facing Robert, “That was… wow,” you exhaled.

“I concur,” Robert joked, sitting back and pulling you onto his lap.

You hummed in exhaustion, blissed out as you hung your head on his shoulder.

“Want to stay?” you asked tiredly, eyeing the now-spilled remainder of wine Robert had placed on the floor earlier. You’d worry about it tomorrow.

“I’d love to,” Robert muttered into your ear, kissing it before picking you up off his lap.

The rest of your night is spent watching Robert study you as you lay beside each other in bed. He took you in as if he was seeing you in a new perspective- and he was. Robert was as curious about you as he was about the world and how it worked. Except now, he had to worry about not destroying you like he had the world.

taglist:

@baizzhu @hjmalmed @queenshelby @hjmalmed @amanda08319 @orijanko @naty-1001 @raineeace @savagemickey03 @langdons-slut @shynovelist @sstar-ggirl @trixie23 @dunklerkeks1611 @hllywdwhre @slut4thebroken @mypoisonedvine @burnyouwithacigarettelighter @cranesbathtowel @arieslost @nefhertari @forgottenpeakywriter @llucky-llove @october-atoner @madlittlecriminal @ynisthatyou @starbxnny @darkmoviesquotespizza @newtsniffles @acapelladitty @radmerrmaid @loverhymeswith @lacontroller1991 @pictureinme

[thefairywithboots]

Tea For One

Hello, I am back with another fic! This one is a songfic (I think that’s the right word for it?) inspired by Tea For One (my favorite Led Zeppelin song.) I was very hesitant to post this because it seems to be a taboo and often discouraged topic to include band members’ wives in fanfiction (at least with Zeppelin.) But I felt the creative urge to use this couple as a muse. I also wanted to prove that I am capable of writing Robert fanfiction that is not smut. 😃

It should go without saying, but no disrespect is intended towards Robert, Maureen, or any other real person mentioned in this piece.

Thank you to my good friend @thestairwayremainsthesame for proofreading this for me.

Summary: Robert sits alone at night while confined to his wheelchair, his heart aching as he pines for Maureen.

AO3

~~

October 1975

The silence in Robert Plant's bedroom was deafening as he sat alone in his wheelchair. The soft lapping of the waves on the shore could be heard outside, but he took little comfort in the sound. The villa Jimmy had rented in Malibu, California, had been buzzing with noise as the four of them sought inspiration for songs for their next album.

The sunny weather of the day seemed to mock Robert, for nothing could ease the longing he felt in his heart. His wife was on the other side of the Atlantic, far more seriously injured than he was from their car wreck in Greece two months earlier. He longed to be in England with her, but instead he was confined to a wheelchair. And the British tax authorities would most likely arrest him if he set foot in Wales again.

Robert's notebook was open on his desk as he rolled over to the kettle by the fireplace where he'd left it to boil some tea. He poured himself a cup. He wished more than anything that he were home with Maureen right now, pouring two cups of tea instead of one. Lost in her familiar, intoxicating embrace while Carmen and Karac slept peacefully in the next room.

Robert set his cup of tea down on his desk and picked up his pen before adjusting a small photograph he had leaned against the desk lamp where he had been writing in the dim light. It was a photograph of him and Maureen at Jennings Farm. It had been taken when their daughter was just a toddler. Maureen had her arms around his waist in an almost possessive, territorial embrace. He closed his eyes and felt tears burn his eyes as his heart yearned for happier times.

He glanced at the clock on the wall. The minutes passed agonisingly slowly. He took his pen to his paper and continued writing the lyrics he had been working on:

“How come twenty-four hours

Sometimes seem to slip into days?

Oh, twenty-four hours

Baby sometimes seem to slip into days

One minute seems like a lifetime

Oh baby when I feel this way”

The car wreck was not something Robert liked to replay in his mind. But in the dead of night, his brain ran away from him. The sense of horror that he felt as he looked over to see his wife lying motionless next to him, with blood running down her face, and the cries of Carmen, Karac and Scarlet in the background piercing his ears. The children were traumatised but physically unharmed. The brief moment when he thought his wife was dead was with him late into the night, an invasion of his dreams. Often he would wake up in a cold sweat. He felt the urge to pull his wife's small frame close to him, to hold her protectively to his chest. But then he remembered: He was alone in his bed, thousands of miles away from her, with a broken leg.

It was bad enough that he was away from home so much on tour and that he hardly ever got to see her. He blamed himself for being unable to return to the woman and children he loved, even though his broken leg and the tax exile he and the rest of the band were in made it physically impossible. Not to mention that he was told he would not be able to walk in six months, and even then, it was never guaranteed he’d make a full recovery.

He had memories of the way her eyes would light up when he came home from a long tour. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held him close, as if afraid he would drift away again. She was much smaller than him - almost a foot shorter. She would bury her face in his chest without bending down, while he buried his face into her thick dark hair and inhaled her familiar scent. Their two small children would be calling for him and running towards him with their arms reaching for him.

“To sing a song for you

That I recall you used to sing

Baby this one’s for we two

Which in the end is you anyway”

Robert continued to scrawl away in his notebook. Maureen had been transferred back to England, but he couldn't stay more than a few days at a time because of British tax laws. He would have been at risk of heavy taxation and possibly even arrest. In spite of this, he felt a pang of guilt that he had not stayed by his wife's side while she was in hospital.

It had been his choice to leave her there, he realised, the guilt growing inside him. His heart felt like it was being squeezed by a giant fist as he imagined her waking up alone in the hospital room and realising that he was not there. She had always been there for him, taking him in when he had no other place to go. And when she had needed him the most, he had fled to another continent.

He felt as if there was a barrier between them that was far larger than the vast ocean and the thousands of miles that separated them at that very moment. As if the memory of holding her in his arms with their children on either side of them felt like years ago.

He became more and more morose as he sat alone at his desk, wondering if this rock'n'roll thing really meant anything at all.

“There was a time when I stood tall

In the eyes of other men

But by my own choice I left you woman

And now I can’t get back again”

Maureen wouldn't want him to blame himself. He knew that. But for now, he didn't care about his tax exile, he wanted his foot to heal so he could catch the first plane back to England. He wanted to see the beautiful, shining faces of Carmen and Karac again, to hold his three-year-old son in his arms and to hear him laugh.

He also wanted this damn leg to heal so that he could once again be the strutting rock lion that he had once been.

Robert closed his notebook before looking back at the photograph on his desk. After all the years they'd been together, Maureen's beautiful features were etched in his mind. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, possessing all the power and radiance to rid his mind of all rational thought.

He felt a weight lift from his chest as he turned off the lamp, leaving him in the dim moonlit room with the soft sounds of the waves lapping at the shore outside. Only now the sound brought him a peaceful sense of solitude. He felt less lonely now. It was as if he had been communicating with Maureen through space and time during his writing session. It was almost... a spiritual feeling. He wondered for a moment if she was feeling the same way at this very moment.

Crawling into bed from his chair, he settled into the pillows, being careful not to lie on his foot. He placed a pillow under it, following the doctor's instructions to keep it elevated while he slept. He hoped for a time in the future when he would be able to lie beside Maureen again, and they would be lost in their reunion. But for the time being, he found himself falling into the peaceful realms of a much-needed sleep.

[woodcries]

i introduced greg to james spader's character on the office and he's over here reading robert california x reader multichapter fanfiction

[myveryownfanfiction]

Chapter 2

When I walked into the office the next morning, I looked in Andy’s office to see Jim, Pam, Kevin and Andy having some discussion. I decided to ignore it unless they called me in on it. I got to work right away, only being distracted when Robert walked in. 

“Good morning Robert.” I smiled at him as he passed my desk. He returned my smile and squeezed my shoulder as he passed. 

“Good morning (Y/N).” Robert turned back to me before going into the conference room. “You free after Dwight’s Sabre meeting?” I nodded. “Good. I’m going to meet with Andy and you right after.” 

“Sounds good.” I nodded again as I made a note of it. Robert smiled at me again before heading into the conference room. A few minutes later, the meeting in Andy’s office ended and everyone filtered out. It was a surprisingly quiet morning. Before we knew it, Dwight was calling us into the conference room for his meeting. I rolled my eyes at Dwight as he filtered us in and immediately moved to the back to sit next to Robert. “If I fall asleep, don’t bother waking me until it’s over.” I joked as I sat down. Robert chuckled. 

“Are Dwight’s meetings that bad?” Robert asked as he put his arm around the back of my chair. Seeing Dwight was about to start his meeting, I nodded. 

“You’re about to see.” I whispered. 

“This week we are rolling out the brand new Sabre tablet...the Pyramid.” Dwight held up a triangle shaped tablet. I sent Robert a confused look. 

“Not my idea.” he leaned closer so I could hear him. I giggled as I nodded my understanding. We looked back at Dwight to see him shaking his head. 

“Oh no no no. Without the battery pack and optional memory booster, it’s barely three pounds.” Dwight’s arms were clearly shaking as he held the tablet. 

“How much memory does it have without the booster?” Ryan spoke up. I leaned closer to Robert. 

“What is this? I know it isn’t your idea but did you really approve this idea?” I turned my head to see Robert’s reaction. He was watching Dwight with confusion clear on his face. 

“I don’t…” Robert turned towards me and gave me a shy smile. “I may have been drunk.” I quickly covered my mouth to hide my laugh. We sat listening to the end of Dwight’s meeting, sharing glances and trying to hide our laughter. Once it was finished, we waited for Andy outside his office and tried to get our laughter under control. The door opened as soon as we finished laughing. 

“Hi dad!” Andy said. I have him a confused look. In any other situation, I would be on the floor laughing but the look on Robert’s face kept sober. “Ah. Oh boy.” Robert brushed over the mistake and walked into the office. 

“Hello Andy.” He looked at Andy’s tie. “Excellent tie.” Erin peaked her head in. 

“Would you be requiring a cold beverage while you’re here?” She asked. Robert looked at Andy while he answered. 

“I’d love some coffee.” Erin nodded as she left the room, closing the door behind her. Robert looked over at me as we sat down in front of Andy’s desk. “I was looking over your projections and I think we can do better.” I bit my lip as I watched Andy crumble. 

“Are you factoring in the...whole national...economy...declining and all that?” Andy was clearly grasping at nothing. Robert gave him a strange look. 

“Are these projections for Andy personally or everyone?” I jumped in. Robert looked at me. 

“The entire office.” He turned his attention back to Andy. “Andy, do you know why I chose you?” 

“I think I can sum it up with what I think is your favorite ice cream flavor.” Andy paused while Robert looked at him. “Vanilla?” Robert chuckled. 

“Vanilla? No no no no. You’ll never guess in a million billion years.” He shook his head. I made a mental note to ask him what it was later. 

“You were saying you chose me.” Andy deflated. “There was a reason?” 

“Andy, can you inspire? Do you have that skill set?” Robert looked at Andy expectantly. Andy was saved by Erin walking back into the office. “Oh! Thank you. Uhm…” The cup Erin was holding was filled to the brim. 

“Oh, sorry.” Erin said as she looked around. 

“Put it on the desk Erin.” I whispered. She nodded as she set it down. Robert leaned down and sipped it. He drew back in shock. 

“That’s very cold.” I looked between Robert and Erin. At least that explained why she hadn’t brunt her hands. 

“Yeah. It’s old.” Erin smiled. I looked at her confused. I opened my mouth to say something but the words wouldn’t come out. 

“Why would I…?” Robert looked at me and then at Erin, confusion clear on his face. 

“I asked if you wanted a cold beverage and you said coffee.” Erin said, confusion clear in her voice. 

“Why don’t we get Robert a nice hot fresh cup and I’ll have this.” Andy cut in. Robert looked at Andy before sharing a look with me. We watched their exchange. When Erin left the office again, Robert turned back to Andy with a smirk. 

“You like her.” He stated. Andy looked at me and back to Robert. Clearly Andy was thinking the same thing as me. If it was that clear Andy liked Erin, how clear was it that I liked Robert?

“You know, we’ve both been into each other at different times and just never really synced up. Now we’re in this weird dance…” Andy attempted to explain himself. 

“I’m afraid you’ve lost my interest.” Robert cut him off, sending a look my way. He walked out of the office and I quickly followed. Andy came out behind me. Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned towards Robert, Andy and I. “If the office superstore was supposed to put us little suppliers out of business, why are we still here?” I watched Robert, trying to figure out what he was doing. Kevin raised his hand. 

“This is where we go.” He said. I nodded and smiled at him. At least he had the guts to actually answer Robert. 

“Oh, you’d go someplace else.” Robert chuckled and looked around the room. “That’s not it. That’s not the answer.” It dawned on me what Robert was trying to do. 

“It’s an answer.” Kevin pushed. Robert looked at him and raised an eyebrow. He was clearly not used to being challenged. 

“It’s a wrong answer.” He stated. I bit my lip, knowing full well Kevin was going to keep going until Robert cut him off. 

“There are no wrong answers.” Kevin shot back. I flashed him a smile again and Kevin nodded in triumph. It was short lived though. 

“Take a look at where you are, where you once worked in a dying industry, you now work at its birth.” Robert said. He turned away from Kevin and I made a note to bring him something for his efforts the next day. “Those superstores are terrified of us. Anybody know why?” I held up my hand to Kevin and shook my head. He had done his best for the day. He didn’t need Robert going after him. 

“Wait,” Phyllis looked at Stanley. “They’re terrified?” Robert chuckled. 

“Let me tell you how I buy something these days. I know what I want, I go to the internet, I get the best price. Or I don’t know what I want and I go to a small store that can help me. The era of personal service is back. You are back. You’ll find that customers will pay our higher prices and then they will thank us, and we will say to them ‘you are welcome.’” Robert nodded at the office as they applauded him. He turned towards Andy and me. “Adnrew, I chose you for a reason. Lead these people. Show me the best numbers this place has ever seen. Last quarter we saw 4% growth. Double it.” My eyes widened. That was a lot to ask of the office.

“You got it.” Andy said. I stepped in. 

“Robert, I’m not sure…” Robert cut me off. 

“Double it.” He started to walk out of the office. I tailed him.

“Done.” Andy called after him. 

“Robert.” I stopped him just outside the office. 

“I’m not kidding (Y/N). I want it doubled.” He said as he leaned against the wall. I nodded. 

“I get that and trust me it’d be great if it happened. But it's going to take some time.” I shook my head. “I don’t know if we can double it this quarter. Eventually sure but not this quarter.” Robert drew closer to me. 

“Double.” He said as he put his hands on my shoulders. “I know the office can do it. Andy can inspire them to do it. If he fails, so be it. It’s on him. But they will at least look to him for incentive.” I closed my eyes and sighed. 

“Fine.” I shook my head. “What role do I play in this?” I opened my eyes and gazed at Robert. It was hard to keep my blush down when he was standing so close to me. 

“You don’t have one.” Robert said with a smile. “All you have to do is keep me informed. It’s the easiest job out of anyone in the office.” I nodded.

“I’ll keep you posted on what Andy does.” I sighed. Robert nodded. 

“I’ll be back later in the day.” He smiled. “I’ll see you then.” Robert leaned in and kissed my cheek before starting off towards the elevator. “Oh. By the way, would you like to get dinner tonight?” he leaned around the corner, a nervous smile on his face. I looked at him wide eyed. 

“That...that sounds lovely.” I gasped. Robert chuckled and nodded. 

“Great! I’ll text you the details later.” He sent another smile my way. “It is a little obvious (Y/N). I know you were wondering earlier.” He called back as he turned back towards the elevators and got in. I stood in place, shock filling my body. As I finally snapped out of it and started walking back into the office, a blush covered my cheeks. I walked in to see Andy sitting on Jim’s desk and everyone looking at him. 

“I was thinking about Robert. Man. What a boss.” Andy saw me walk to my desk in a daze. “Just throws down goals, you know? Anyway, how’s the sales doubling project going?” Jim sent me a look as well but I made a motion that meant I would tell him later. 

“Yeah, how are we supposed to do that.” Phyllis said, sending a look at me. “We can’t just press a magic button.” Andy nodded. 

“Of course not. There’s no magic button. You have to summon that.” He chuckled. 

“If we could just double our sales, we already would have. You’re not making any sense.” Stanley shot back. I snapped out of my daze and gazed around the room. Everyone was throwing looks at me. 

“He brings up two good points. Do you have any new leads? Any new territories you want us to look into?” Jim looked over at me. “Maybe have an in with a big client that we can get our foot in the door?” I pointed at Jim and started digging through Michael’s old accounts. If there was anything there we could get a start at an attempt to win back some old clients. 

“Dwight, anything?” Andy asked, watching me fly through the papers. 

“We could talk about how fast children grow up, and before you know it they’re out of the house.” Dwight said, clearly taking a shot at Jim. 

“You know what? We need to get our heads out of the box. If we did have something what would it look like? What would it be?” Andy said. I gave up on the pile of old clients and shook my head at Jim. He raised his hand again. “Tuna.” 

“New leads, a new territory to look into, maybe an in with a big company that we could get our foot in the door…” Jim trailed off. Everyone was looking at me again. 

“Good sesh.” Andy said as he stood up. He tripped and I had to fight back a laugh. “That leg is asleep.” He started to limp towards his office. “Oh (Y/N). Meeting in five in my office.” I nodded as I went through the list of clients that Jim had pulled up on his computer. 

“Ok now tell us.” Dwight leaned over to join the little group that had gathered around my desk. I turned read as I looked at the group. Jim and Pam were looking at me like they knew what had gotten me so red. Dwight was looking at me like I would tell him I lost the assistant manager position and he had gotten it back. Angela was looking at me like I had grown another head, which wasn’t all that different from how she normally looked at me. Erin looked like it was story time which was kind of cute if I had to admit it. I looked at the camera and sighed. 

“Robert is testing Andy.” I said. “He wants the numbers for this quarter doubled. He seriously does. And this is his way of making Andy prove that he was right to make him manager.” 

“There should be a different way aside from making everyone else do the hard work.” Jim said. “Is there nothing you can do about it (Y/N)?” I shook my head. 

“Believe me. I tried. It was just short of following him out of the building and arguing with him.” I sighed, fighting the grin that was threatening to take over my face. “There is absolutely nothing that can be done about this. We just have to figure out some way that we can double our sales.” Everyone nodded before heading back to their desks. I bit my lip as I noticed Jim, Pam, and Dwight were still looking at me expectantly. “What?” I asked, looking at each of them in turn. 

“Don’t what us.” Pam said. “We saw the way that you came back in here. Robert said something to you.” I blushed and ducked my head. 

“What did he say?” Dwight asked. He leaned on his desk, clearly expecting something that involved the office. 

“Swear you won’t tell anyone.” I looked at the three of them. I knew there was a habit of the whole office finding out everyone’s secrets. I wasn’t taking any chances. Not this time. “Swear it.” 

“We swear.” The three chorused. 

“Now what did he tell you?” Pam leaned closer to me and stared with rapt attention. I smiled at her enthusiasm and knew that she would be asking me a million questions for the rest of the week. 

“Robert asked me to dinner.” I whispered. Pam’s jaw dropped and Jim ran a hand down his face. Dwight looked at me and shook his head before getting back to work. 

“What did you say?” Pam said quietly. I blushed. 

“I said yes.” I smiled as Pam’s smile grew. Jim shook his head. 

“Why would you do it?” Jim asked. Pam sent him a look. 

“Jim. Don’t say that.” Pam scolded him. 

“I did it because I like him.” I shot back. “And while many of you see him as a creep or odd or maybe even think he’s borderline crazy, I think that’s what makes him a good CEO and a good person. So say what you want Jim. I’m going to do what I think is right.” Jim sighed before shaking his head. 

“Fine. But don’t forget he is the CEO.” Jim said. “And that he is a fairly creepy guy. Even if he is a genius.” Pam squeezed my hand and smiled at me. 

“It’s going to go great. I just know it.” She said. “Tell me everything tomorrow.” I nodded and struggled a little to get back to work. Before long, Andy was calling everyone into the conference room. 

“Thanks for coming in guys.” Andy said as we all filled in. I took a spot next to Jim and Pam since Robert wasn’t there to amuse me. 

“You don’t have to thank us for coming in.” Phyllis said as she took a seat. “It’s our job.” 

“Well I never got thanks for coming into a meeting and I always wanted to be so I’m gonna thank people.” Andy sassed her. I sighed and rubbed my forehead at his actions. This was not going to end well. 

“What’s with the blanket?” I finally asked as everyone settled into their seats. Andy removed it with a flourish. 

“This is what’s under the blanket.” Andy said. I closed my eyes and sighed. I doubted that this is what Robert had in mind when he told Andy to inspire the office. 

“We don’t get it.” Oscar said. 

“These are incentives. It’s how we’re gonna double growth. Now, you’re probably all asking yourselves: ‘Well, how does this work?’” Andy was putting on a show and I did not want to see where it went. 

“Seems like a basic reward system where you give us points, and then we redeem those points for prizes.” Pam jumped in. 

“You’re exactly right and you get a point.” Andy smiled at her. I rolled my eyes and stood up. 

“And I’m out.” I said, moving towards the door. 

“How does one get a point?” I heard Meredith ask as I made my way to my desk. Shaking my head, I pulled out my phone. I sat down and looked at the contact I pulled up. Biting my lip, I pressed the dial button.

“Hello?” The voice on the other end answered. 

“Hi Michael.” I breathed out. I heard the smile on the other end of the line even though I could not see it. 

“(Y/N)!” Michael exclaimed. “What’s shaking?” I laughed and walked into the annex. 

“Can’t I just call my favorite manager?” I joked. Michael laughed.

“You can but that’s not what you do.” He said. I sighed. “What’s happening at the office?” I spent the next ten minutes filling him in. “Is that all?” Michael sighed. 

“Michael, I don’t know what to do.” I ran a hand down my face. “I’m being asked by the CEO to effectively spy on the rest of the office. On top of that, I’m going to go out with him.” I stood up and started pacing. “What do I do? How do I handle this?” 

“(Y/N), you need to breathe.” Michael said calmly. “You do what has been asked of you. But you do it on your terms. Give him what you think he should know. If you think all he should know is the basics, then tell him the basics. If you think he should know everything, then tell him everything.” I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. 

“And what about….” I sighed. “The other part?” Michael laughed. 

“(Y/N), you really expect me to give you advice on that?” He teased. “I married the woman everyone told me not to go after. Do you honestly think I am going to be the one to tell you not to go out with him?” I laughed. 

“I suppose you are right Michael.” I admitted. “Speaking of, how is Holly?” Michael sighed. 

“Her parents aren’t doing that great but she’s doing fairly well otherwise.” He said. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” I said quietly. “How are you holding up?” 

“I’m good. A little bored spending all day at home with the kids.” Michael waited for the ball to drop. 

“Kids?” I exclaimed. “Michael, you’re a dad?” 

“Yeah. Best thing that ever happened to me.” He said. 

“That’s what she said.” I giggled. Michael’s laugh came over the line and I felt myself finally relax for the first time that day. “In all seriousness Michael, congrats.”

“Thanks (Y/N).” He said happily. 

“Well, I guess I’ll let you get back to the kids then. Thanks for all of your help Michael. It means an awful lot to me that you actually answered.” I said. 

“I’ll always pick up the phone for you (Y/N). You know that.” He said. “I’m always there for any of you. And I always will be.” 

“I know Michael.” I confirmed. 

“Tell you what, one day you bring that CEO of yours around and introduce me to him. We’ll see if he’s good enough for you.” Michael teased. 

“I’ll do that Michael. I’ll talk to you later.” I said, tears threatening to spill over. Michael said his goodbyes and hung up. I wiped away the tears and pulled up Robert’s contact. Michael was still looking out for me, even though he wasn’t in Scranton anymore. I went back into the main office and looked at everyone bustling around. 

“What’s going on?” I asked Pam. She was smiling and working on some drawings. 

“Andy said if we get five thousand points, he’ll get a tattoo on his ass.” She said before showing me a couple of drawings. My mouth fell open as I looked at the drawings. 

“How many points do you have now?” I asked. Pam looked at Jim. 

“Halfway there.” He said. Looking around the office, I nodded as I started to walk out of the office. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts. Finding the one I was looking for, I pressed call and waited for Robert to answer his phone. 

“Robert California.” I smiled at the way he answered his phone. 

“Hi Robert. It’s (Y/N).” I said. 

“(Y/N)! I was actually just going to call you. How are things at the office?” He asked. I bit my lip and made a split second decision about what to tell him. 

“Andy found an incentive.” I said. “He had the office halfway to the amount that they need to get him to get a tattoo on his butt.” Robert chuckled. 

“That’s how he’s doing it?” He asked. The absurdity of the act finally caught up to me. 

“Yeah. That’s what he’s doing.” I said. “It’s ridiculous but it’s working.” 

“That’s good.” Robert said. I heard cheering coming from the office. “What’s that noise?” 

“Hold on let me check.” I walked back into the office and nearly dropped my phone when I saw the points total. “Holy shit they did it. In one day. They’ve doubled sales and gotten enough points for Andy to have to get a tattoo.” Robert gasped on the other end of the line. 

“They seriously did it?” He asked, astonished. 

“They did it Robert.” I breathed. I looked around the office as everyone filed into the conference room. “They really did it.” 

“Were you going to go with them when Andy….” Robert trails off, leaving the question unasked. 

“I didn’t plan on it.” I said. “That wasn’t something I particularly wanted to see. Why do you ask?” I heard Robert chuckle on the other end. 

“Did you want to move our date up?” He asked. I rubbed my bottom lip. 

“Am I going to get out of work for the rest of the day? Or do I have to wait to finish my work some other time?” I asked. Robert chuckled and I had to turn towards my desk to hide the blush that was coloring my face. I started to gather my belongings and head out the door. 

“You are out of work for the rest of the day. But I will have to dock the pay.” Robert teased. I laughed and left a note for Pam on her desk. 

“That’s okay sir. I’ll just stay late tomorrow to make it back.” I teased him back. “Where are we going? This way I know where to meet you.” I had entered the elevator and was headed out to the parking lot. 

“About that…” Robert trailed off. 

“What do you…” I laughed as I walked outside and saw Robert leaning against his car with his phone pressed to his ear. Robert hung up and came over to me. “You do like the element of surprise.” I stood in front of him and shook my head. 

“Is that really so bad?” He asked, gently taking my belongings from me. I shook my head. 

“No. It’s not.” I made my way over to his car and opened the trunk. Robert smiled as he put my stuff in there and closed it. 

“I have to do an interview and then we can leave.” He said and I nodded before getting in the car. He walked off to join the camera crew and they started filming. I listened in while checking my messages from Pam. Apparently they changed the design last minute and gave Andy a dog that was dressed like him. “Why did I choose Andy to run the office? Because he’s all surface, uncomplicated. What you see is what you get. Could be a recipe for mediocrity, yes, but then again, it might just be why people fight for him.” I smiled at Robert’s comments about Andy. “There’s something about an underdog that really inspires,” he paused and I looked over at him. “The unexceptional.” The crew nodded to show that he was done and he walked back over to the car. Getting in, Robert looked at me. “What?” I smiled and shook my head. 

“Nothing.” I said. Robert gave me a look. “Ok just that was actually pretty good. I didn’t realize you chose him because the office would do anything for him just as much as he would do anything for them.” Robert smiled and started the car before pulling out of the parking lot.

“Sometimes people surprise you.” He said. Looking over at me, Robert paused. “And sometimes people make you think twice about what you are doing.” I played with the hem of my shirt. 

“I make you think twice?” I asked. Robert nodded and cocked his head. 

“In a good way.” He assured me. “You had me second guessing the whole double the figures speech I gave Andy the second I stepped into the elevator. And since that first day I’ve been thinking about how you should have become manager and not Andy. But the little stunt he pulled today, I’m not quite sure you would have been able to do that.” I laughed and shook my head. 

“No way would I let them design a tattoo and put it on my ass!” Robert laughed and I rolled up my sleeve. “I let my friends talk me into getting a group one when we graduated. It ended up terribly because we let the least artistic person in the group design it.” I showed Robert the tattoo on the inside of my arm by the elbow. 

“What is it supposed to be?” He asked as we pulled up to a stop light and he looked at my arm. 

“The eye of Horus.” I laughed. “Surrounded by a crown. Even though you wouldn’t tell at first glance.” Robert looked closer and nodded. 

“I can see it once you point it out.” He chuckled before taking off down the street again. 

“Which is exactly why I wouldn’t let anyone design a tattoo for me ever again.” I rolled down my sleeve and smiled at him. “Even Pam and she’s a great artist.” 

“Understandable.” Robert said as he pulled into the parking lot of an apartment building. “Is this ok?” I looked at him confused. “It’s my apartment. I thought we could maybe cook something up and have dinner in.” My gaze softened as I nodded. 

“That actually sounds like fun.” I said. Robert smiled as he got out and came around the car to open my door. I got out and followed him up to his apartment. “It’s nice.” I said when Robert led me through the tour. 

“It’s really not.” He said with a laugh. “But I’m glad you like it.” He finished the tour in the kitchen where we got to work right away. We kept each other entertained while cooking and at one point, Robert wrapped his arms around my waist as I stood at the stove. I turned my head to look at him and saw that he had the biggest smile on his face. 

“Hi.” I said as I returned his smile. “Can I help you?” Robert laughed and shook his head. 

“Nope.” He said, pulling me closer to him. I giggled as I quickly put down the spoon that I was using to stir the pot of sauce. “Just enjoying myself and the company.” 

“That’s good to hear.” I teased as I put my hands on top of his. “But can I go back to making sure the sauce doesn’t burn?” Robert loosened his hold on me and I moved closer to the stove again. I gently tugged him with me and settled back into him as we waited for the food to finish cooking. Not long after, we made our plates and went to sit at the table. Sitting down, we started to eat. Throughout the dinner we asked each other questions about our lives and things we didn’t already know. 

“I want to warn you, I’m in the middle of a divorce right now.” Robert said hesitantly. “She’s got the house right now and I would have taken you there if it wasn’t for her.” I nodded. 

“That’s fine.” I said, waving a hand at the comment about the house. “As long as I’m not breaking up something. I don’t mind.” Robert seemed to sag in relief before raising an eyebrow.

“What about you?” He asked. 

“In the middle of a divorce?” I laughed and shook my head. “Nope. Never even been married and definitely no significant other.” Robert cocked his head at me. 

“Well, I would have expected that someone like you would have…” Robert broke off and waved his hand. 

“Nah.” I shook my head again. “Tried that in college and it didn’t work out all that well. They were an ass. Decided it would happen when it happened after that.” Robert nodded and the dinner quieted down after that. Once we had cleared the table and cleaned up, we settled down to watch a little television. Robert put his arm over the back of the couch and I rested my head on his shoulder. It was late when Robert drove me back to the office to get my car. He helped me transfer my stuff from his trunk to mine before opening my door for me. 

“I had fun tonight (Y/N).” He said, stalling for time. I nodded and smiled at him. 

“I did too.” I said. “Best date I’ve ever had.” Robert smiled before reaching for my hand. I put my hand in his. Robert lifted it and kissed my knuckles. 

“So does that mean I get a second date?” He asked, lips still poised over my knuckles.

[robertcurlyfornia]

So this is to the few people who enjoy Robert California/Erin content and fanfictions. I was rewatching the Christmas Wishes episode and I got a little disappointed again, just like the first time I watched it. I think it was clear to everyone how Robert and Erin had huge chemistry in this episode and on the other hand Andy was a jerk! Why didn't Erin kiss Robert? When he calls her to take a walk and said in his usual provocative tone of voice "I was hoping you were going to make me feel better." Seriously. I screamed. They should have kissed! The way Robert's hand slid smoothly over Erin's arms and how he took care of her when she was drunk. I mean, I am not crazy, AM I? They're both adults and one more time: ANDY WAS A JERK! – and Robert is always a good-looking man, by the way.

And EVEN MORE, notice the way he was always gleaming to her while she was having fun! Just look at the manner he gazes at her, in explicit admiration! Take the hint! Robert used to be the kind of half-hearted man or even untoward/kinky sometimes, but he was enthralled by Erin's energy at that party. I dare say it was a glimmer of interest which shined through Robert on that night.

"She's remarkable" Yes, Robert. She is. Definitely. And I think you're a ride she would've survived.

So, I don't have anything to say anymore. I'm totally partial to Robert. And I started enjoying Erin because of him. So... sorry if you like Andy, but I think he doesn't deserve Erin at all.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

My mom just bought Hillary Clinton's new novel "State of Terror," and much like Bill's "The President is Missing" it is self-insert fanfiction about thinly veiled versions of themselves saving America from terrorists. I can't stop thinking how hilarious it would be if Donald Trump did thst exact same thing, and I kinda want to write a parody novel from that perspective.

There's a book called "The Iron Dream," which is portrayed as a novel written by Adolf Hitler from an alternate timeline where he never entered politics but instead became an author, writing pro-fascist military sci-fi like Robert A. Heinlein and Orson Scott Card. The actual novel itself is a metafictional parody, and includes an in-universe critique of "Hitler's" boisterous and hamfisted purple prose, racial prejudices, and weird leather fetish; I'd like to write a book like that, not about Donald Trump himself, but about his Mary Sue wish fulfillment fantasy, written as if by him in the same manner as the Clintons' novels.

It would be called "Making Greatness" and would be about genius billionaire playboy philanthropist Donovan Trounce as he fights against the socialist pedophiles led by his political opponents Brock O'Balmer (a secret Muslim terrorist) and Mallory Hilton (a computer hacker who sells secrets to our enemies). Trump lives in his own little fantasy world where everything he wants to be true is true, where he speaks the Word of God, so I can't imagine a better way to explore his psyche than to recreate his perceived world on the page. It wouldn't just be right-wing circlejerking, it would very specifically be Donald Trump's perception of right-wing circlejerking, written at a third grade reading level, full of asides and snarky comments and faux intellectualism.

Donovan Trounce would be in love with daughter Vana, but it would be revealed that she's not biologically his so that makes it okay when they hook up at the end (she was switched at birth, his wife totally didn't cuck him). His idiot son who he hates would be killed early on as part of a left-wing conspiracy. Everyone loves him, he's always right, his enemies are just too stubborn to admit it. They all either come around to his side in the end or kill themselves to avoid the consequences when he takes power; he purges his party of RINOs and the insufficiently loyal, all left-wing spies and saboteurs.

His sidekick and protégé would be named Quentin Q. Quisling, a conspiracy theorist investigative journalist and radio host who blows the lid off the left-wing socialist Mexican Muslim human trafficking cabal; he would run for governor of California after the successful recall and imprisonment of thr ringleader Governor Calvin Neeson, and he'd win and flip the state red and it would turn out that it was always red to begin with, there was just so much voter fraud that the silent majority was never able to assert their power until Trounce and Quisling saved them.

It'd be like "Threat Level: Midnight" from The Office, or any film by Neil Breen, a power fantasy where a sociopath can pretend that he's an action hero. You know how right-wing cartoonists always draw Trump as Fabio with a combover? Or have you seen those paintings of him riding a T Rex while dual-weilding AR-15s in front of an American flag? I want to capture that aesthetic, while making it clear that the "author" is an unskilled petulant child who's completely oblivious to reality. The book would be chock full of typos and malapropisms and eggcorns; his grasp on the English language is tenuous at best.

[allmyandroids]

Just saying that I ship Robert California with Andy Bernard soooo so much?????💥💥

[elindae-writes]

Disney MCU : not really my thing and I don’t really care Elindae writes MCU : this is mad this is bogus and I love it so much

Okay, so I only watched the first few MCU movies. I'm gonna be honest, I think the franchise peaked with only the first Iron Man movie. I read a lot of MCU fanfiction before I ever saw any MCU movies at all so I just had no clue what was going on.

There are actually a few MCU fanfics I like: In The Home , (A City Full of) Helping Hands, A Hospital Full, and Wilting Yellow Flowers, all by aloneintherain. I like the spider-man.

I still don't know what's going on. I'm only caught up to the atrocity that is the second Thor movie, the one with Padme in it and the teleporting trash? That entire movie was trash. I will try to construct the storyline of the MCU based off of what few details I know:

There is a raccoon?

The Avengers break up and the Hulk is just unfazed and immediately asks: "like the beetles?"

There is an evil purple man named Thanos with a small green child and the child grows up into a tall green woman?? who is his daughter? and they talk about resources and supply and demand.

Apparently some long-haired hot man with a metal limb shows up and Steve loses his shit trying to save this bud of his

who the hell is bucky

Harley Quinn is apparently not a MCU character and that genuinely shocked me

Thor is hot. wait is he still alive?

Aunt May is hot? like wtf? how?

There's apparently a scene where Spider-Man and his Aunt are eating Thai food and they're seeing replayed Spider-man battles on a TV and she's like. "peter. petey. pete boy. NEVER get involved in those fights! run away!"

And spider-man is just like

"t'was not me"

Spiderman then ends up homeless (and friends with karen??)

There's a fishbowl man who makes images with his hands but then Spider-Man defeats him while they're on a gondola

Steve wields mjolnir? i thought Steve turned into a villain

The new Spider-Man theme is a hot bop. Same goes for the Avengers film

Benedryl Cucumberspaz is there and he has a cloak with a stupid-looking collar

there was a cat-man movie with Bilbo in it

People cast spells via throwing orbs of light into the air

JARVIS DIES?? see, i don't like that. rip. i think? i think he's dead?

They have a big spat where there's some civil war. I remember the marketing for that movie. I was trying to buy bananas at Wal-Mart and all of the cashiers were wearing "ARE YOU TEAM IRON-MAN OR CAPTAIN AMERICA?" and this was apparently a spicy debate there. I was just like "i am team banana"

Iron Man was upset about his mom and pop for some reason whereas Steve was upset because he wanted to save his bud (the one from the 1940s) so they beat the shit out of each other in the snow.

wait i remember now. the 1940s bud mURDERED Tony's mom and pop. ohhhh. oh? oh. i don't think that got resolved.

everybody wants a magical glove and the stones for the magical glove but then they fail so they try again and win

Spider-man gets attacked by a guy with a mechanical bird suit and then also there is a ferry. Spider-man also harasses a man and his ice cream

There's a sitcom show with a boring evil witch lady with red magic (very boring) and a cool groovy purple witch lady with a very good theme song

Robert California voices a robot!! But I don't think he declares himself to be "The Lizard King." disappointing.

They're making a new movie where there is a guy with arm ring jewelry with super-powers

OH and they're making a new movie where there is a bollywood dance scene and i'm a sucker for 3 hour long Indian drama so who knows, that might be my style

There's a movie where some lady punches an old lady on a train

There was an atrocious movie about a boring shrinking ant guy. I only saw like five minutes of that movie when it was 10:30 pm at night and I just happened to be in the kitchen eating muffins when I saw the movie. Kate from Lost is in it??? the ant guy is a convict, i know that much. the fuck did he do? probably got sent to the clink for being weirdly into ants tbh. i switched it over to Antiques Roadshow and lemme tell you it was 10x more exciting okay some old lady came in with an autograph from Abraham Lincoln!! I mean my god he's dead you just can't get those anymore :(

Tony gets Peter some bling

some norse dude makes out with himself. nasty

Twilight Sparkle voices a clock that harasses people

The guy who played the cowboy in Night At The Museum is also in the show, the guy who says "wwwwoooowwww" in that way that makes me crack up

steve goes back in time??? and does not prevent any of the horrors he knows will happen? for some reason? also he turns into joe biden.

Pepper Pots marries Tony or something? wha

and he gives her a SUIT? whY? the goop lady??

tony dies (rip. i liked him. i appreciated how he was an ass to everybody. i bet he'll come back though because this is comic book logic)

DOES STEVE TURN EVIL I CAN'T TELL

Anddddd apparently the comic book industry is in the trash and is getting its ass handed to it by Japan

There you have it guys! Elindae's Hot Recollection of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Believe it or not I actually am the Resident Authority On The MCU in my house so whenever my family has MCU questions they consult me.

That's probably a mistake.

Wait, by MCU did you mean McPrime Universe or Marvel Cinematic Universe?

I am still stuck in the 2012 MCU fanfic mindset where the Avengers are all living together in the tower, Steve has a sketchpad, Hawkeye travels in the vents, and Thor likes pop-tarts. I like that era of the MCU.

[mrssullivan]

Uncharted fanfiction (young Nate and Sully)

So here it is, my very first fanfiction story :-D :). Hope you’ll enjoy it.

Story: Uncharted fanfiction

Count of words: 1717

Characters: Young Sully and Nate

Location: A hidden place in a small California town

Summary: After Nate and Sully had escaped the Marlowe’s men in Columbia they decided to lay low for a while. They had spent six months there while a lucrative job offer came...

Warnings: Dirty jokes, Story may contain some mistakes (especially with past tenses) due to English isn’t my native language. If you’ll find any mistakes, please let me know :)

Chapter 1: Small beginnings...?

  With sun hidden under the horizon the air became more fresh and breathable. After another hot sunny day here – in a small city in California - the moments after the sunset were the best part of the day. Especially for Nathan Drake. He loves when the sun is going down losing its power, people are going out to enjoy themselves and he is wandering among all of it. He felt the freedom of life. 'So, the night life has begun', he thought. This time of the day used to be kinda dangerous for Nate a few months ago when he was living at the streets. But this sort of life seems to be over now. It had been six months when Nate first met Victor Sullivan. An „old man“ - he could be in his late thirties or early forties now – who saved Nate's life back then at the runaway from the museum in Columbia. 'That was a mess!', he thought while he was reaching for a ring at his chest. 'Sic parvis magna.', Nate fell into the memories. The things has developed so fast since then. After they'd escaped the Marlowe's men at the museum and becoming associates with Sully they had to disappear. Marlowe and her men had been still after them so they ended up here to lay low for a while. Thanks to Sully's friends they'd leased a small bungalow for a fine price.

A sound of church bell got Nate back to the ground. He looked up at the church clock. It's just showed 10 PM. 'I should go home!', Nate thought, so he turned back and started heading towards his refuge.

'A home...'. This word stopped Nate's thoughts for a second. Has he ever had a home? His mother had died when Nate was really young and his father had given up his hold on Nate and his older brother Sam, so they both ended up at the St. Francis' Boy's Home. No, Nate hasn't had a home at all. After leaving the orphanage and with Sam working wherever in the world, he became a „street's kid“ and started living on his own. But now it's different. Nate had to used to share his life with Sully which was difficult sometimes.

Sully is a tough guy who hasn't been living his life in a legal way either. But he can defeat an enemy in a fist combat or with a revolver in his hand. He's talkative, inteligent and it seems he must have friends all over the world, so it's clear he can take care of himself. Nate wasn't thinking about it before but it had to be difficult even for Sully. He was used to be on his own too, doing illegal jobs and now he had to look after a 15-year-old teenage. ''I said he's crazy old man“, said Nate to himself and smiled. After those months they've become a sort of friends. Nate hasn't realised it yet but Sully has become a father-figure to him.

As Nate was getting closer to the bungalow he smelled a smell of cigar getting out from the house through the open window. „So typical...“, smiled Nate. He would bet he had seen Sully with a cigar more times than without it. He unlocked the door and entered the house but he immediately regreted it and started coughing. The whole house was smoky and it was hard to breathe in there. „Sully, what the hell?“, coughed Nathan. „Is that your cigar or are you about to cook us a dinner?“, continued Nate towards a tall Sully's figure obscured in a mist of his cigar.

„Sorry, kid, I opened the window just a minute ago.“, answered Sullivan and pensively continued looking at some papers lying on the table in front of him. „Huh.“, mumbled Nate. „Or...“, started Nathan provocatively, „...you're trying to hide  a female parfume, aren't ya'?”. Nate knew that he's just poked the bear but he also knew that he would get Sully's attention thanks to that. And he was right. Sully raised his head up from the papers and looked at Nate. Nathan could see both in Sully's grey eyes at that moment – an anger, which was a reaction to a provocative and ironic way how Nate had said that comment, and a shame because Sully knew very well what Nate was talking about.

Nate grinned but that last week's „accident“ was quite shocking for him too. As wise people say „what has been seen, cannot be unseen“. Nate came home that night, ignoring the world, with headphones in his ears and a walkman pretty loud. So he didn't have a chance to recognise that Sully had had „a visit“. Nate realised it when he raised his head up and saw shocked Sully with his redhead „visit“ trying to quickly  cover their naked bodies under the bedsheets.

„You never stop enjoyin' that, aren't ya'?”, asked Sully irritatedly.

Nate already knew that Sully has a kinda soft spot for women but he could't understand that women have a soft spot for Sully too. 'What do they like on him?', Nathan often asked himself. 'Do they like kissing with an ashtray? Or do they like that creepy mustache?' Those are questions Nate probably will never find an answer. 'The fact is that Sully must have some kind of magical power that makes him irresistable for women.', finished Nathan his thoughts about naughty Sullivan.

„Actually, I've had nightmares after that.“, answered Nate with typical teenage provocative accent. „Goddamn, kid...“, mumbled Sullivan. He already knew that there is no chance to have a serious discussion with a teenage boy, especially when it comes to relationships with women. So he decided to change the topic. „I think we got a job, kid.“, Sully stood back from the table, grabbed the papers and sat down next to Nate. „I thought we're lying low?“, said Nate with both confusion and curiosity in his voice.

„Well, we were,“, said Sully, „but my friends had confirmed me there's no moves from Marlowe for more than a month. So I think it's time to stop lyin' low, don'cha think?“, smiled Sullivan and either did Nate. They both have had enough hiding.

„I also thought you might like this.“, said Sully and gave Nate one list of the paper. Nathan started examining the content. There was a photo of an old journal – or something that used to be a journal. It was musty, most of its lists were missing, the dark brown leather cover was damaged and dirty, still carrying a small lock on its side though. „What is that?“, asked Nathan, „Someone's childhood journal which had been lying in a mud for fiftheen years?“, said Nate and sounded dissapointed. He hoped in something bigger. „Almost,“, answered Sully slyly. Now he is enjoying the moment. „But there's one little difference. It had been lying at the bottom of the Atlantic ocean for more than seventy years.“

'What? It can't be...“, thought Nathan and looked at Sullivan disbelievengly. „Do you know Robert Ballard?“, asked Sully and Nate's thoughts were confirmed. „You mean that oceanographer who found the shipwreck of Titanic?“ „The one and only.“, answered Sully and smiled. They both were enjoying the moment, feeling an excitement in the air.

“Ballard will host a great ball,“, continued Sully, „as an opening ceremony for the very first 'Treasures of the Titanic' exhibition at the museum in New York City in two weeks. However our journal won't be a part of this exhibition and it's lock down at the museum's storage room. I've gotta friend there. He's able to provide us two invitations to the ball and with his help we'll just sneak out from that high society carnival and get to the storage room.“, Sully's voice sounded excitedly. He's been out of business for too long and he's missed it. „So, wat'cha think, kid? The client's gonna pay us well.“

That was something Nate didn't understand. „Who is our client, Sully?“, he asked.

„Why?“, Sully has never asked too many questions about the job or client. „I mean, why would anyone pay us for something what's practically useless? The major part of the journal is missing and I really doubt there's something left written on remaining lists after those years in the ocean.“, Nate wasn't trying to hide his dubiety. „Look closer.“, encouraged him Sully. Nate followed his advice and there it was. It was hard to see it at the first sight but when Nate focused at the journal's cover he finally saw it. A dingy sign – a polytope and a pair of compasses lying opposite to each other with a big letter 'G' in the middle. Nate looked at Sully with a stunned face. „You gotta be kiddin'!...The Freemasons?“ „That's why I thought you might be interested in it.“ They both looked at each other and again they both felt the same excitement, an inner shiver that made their heartbeats went faster. They were deffinitely facing something big. „So, kid,“, continued smiling Sully, „ya' in?”. “And how do we get there?“, continued Nate asking questions. „We can't afford to buy ourselves the flyin' tickets to NYC, right?“ „Don't be worry about the flyin' tickets, Nate.“, ensured him Sully. „It's done. Flyin' tickets will be prepared.” “What? How so quickly? Your friends again?“, Nate still didn't understand that Sully has so many friends from around the globe. Suddenly he remembered one particular moment from the last week's “accident“ - a flight attendant's uniform lying on the ground. „Waaaaaaait!!“,yelled Nate like he's just discovered a famous lost city. „That redhead is that friend of yours, right? So we got the tickets thanks to....that she was checking your....'passport' here?“, started Nate provocatively again and started laughing. Sully knew he has no chance to end this dialogue seriously so he started doing dirty jokes too. „Yea and thanks to the 'passport' control I was allowed to board the plane.“, he smiled back and put a cigar into his mouth. „But you still haven't answered to my question. You in that job, kid?“ „I'm in!“, answered Nate decidedly and slowly stopped laughing. „Can I get that 'passport control' from the redhead too?“ „Nate!...“

[pastelbatfandoms]

O.C Character Survey

1. Your first OC ever? My WWE one Roxy,I wrote her when I was 13. I also made Naru aka Molly from Sailor Moon a Sailor Senshi named Sailor Sun. She had a yellow sailor fuku with a blue bow. 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs? I’m not sure. I will say that my easiest one’s to write are Renee from The Flash and Suzanna from TWD.

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else? Kinda. my Ex let me use his OC’s in stories. He has Alien Races called The Cartanians and Tarians and a Vampire Nightmare lord named Shirowen. Who is based off of the lead singer of Dimmu Borgir.

 4. A character you rarely talk about? Carrie aka The Carrion Crow just because I haven’t been interested in finishing My Gotham fic,or I have been but just never wrote anything down...

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? My Vampiress Levathia for My Original story. Just because then I can make all My other OC’s known by extension. 

 6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related? All the Tarians and Cartanians look like each other lol (it is a race that has all white hair and red eyes and a race that has all different shades of green hair and purple eyes)

Image Photoshopped by me of Tessa,Soven and Aahren 👇👇👇👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

Otherwise I think that the actresses I used for My Characters Esme (From Descendants) and Helena (From AHS) look alike. 

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories? They’re part of all kinds! I guess I could list My Non Original stories lol (only going to put one Actress for each,although My Characters are played by multiple Actress’s.)

Mughead (Riverdale)-Michelle Riley

  Wells of Hearts (The Flash)-Renee West

The Carrion Crow (Gotham)-Carrie

Mischief on Wings (Marvel/Loki)-Amara 

The Alpha (Teen Wolf)-Marianna Mccall

Kings and Queen of Destruction (TWD)-Suzanna Greene

Half God Half Devil (AHS Apocalypse)-Helena

The Dream Lovers (Freddy Krueger)-Rika

Strange Days (Stranger Things)-Mandy Moorington

Gods and Pirates (The Descendants)-Meghana

The Snakes and The Raven (Harry Potter)-Rihannon Hickleberry-Black

Ash Vs Evil Dead-Ashlee

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here! No.

 9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else? Maybe.

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? Looks wise I assume, I’m going to go with a non Fanfic Character and say Shirowen,He still looks like a vampire with long black hair and fangs,but he also is decayed looking,like he might have the plague and is pretty terrifying really. But being the lord of Nightmares that suits him just fine. He also has a very Black Metal look to him. 

 11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? lol no

 12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot 

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? I have tons lol 

 14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory. All of My Characters have a bit of a sad past.Mandy,Renee and Suzanna’s parents died,Marianna’s parents left her ect. But I think the saddest is probably Helena,read My AHS story to see what I mean!

 15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people? Yes

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? I don’t know

 17. Any OC OTPs? I mean I pair up My OC’s with my favorite character of the show usually. So I’ll just list those.  (Crackship gifs make by me)

MichellexJughead Jones

I love Renee with ALL The Wells’s but I feel like Eobard Thawne was her OTL. 

MariannaxPeter Hale

had a hard time picking between Suzanna’s Current Bou Negan,her ex The Governor or Merle. But in the end I think Merle was her ride or die,he was her first in basically all aspects and if he hadn’t died they would still be together. 

HelenaxMichael Langdon

RikaxFreddy/Robert Englund (Their basically the same person in My Fic)

Steve Harrington was Mandy’s first crush but I really think despite there ups and downs that Billy was her OTL,even though her and Steve became endgame after Billy died.

MeghanaxHadesxHarry Hook (because I can’t make up my mind!)

EsmexChad Charming

18. Any OC crackships? Already did lol

 19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why) 

20. Do any of your OCs sing? what kind of songs do they like? Only ones that sing are In My Descendants Fics. So Esme and Meghana.

 21. Your most artistic OC. I would say Michelle since she’s loosely based on me,also Renee since she went to collage for Fashion and Graphic Design. 

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? 

 23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like? I don’t really change my characters rough drafts lol if I have idr how. 

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why? I should say Helena or Carrie so...yeah them.

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)  Michelle,we were both Goth in HS,had a big group of friends,dated someone “misunderstood”,wrote poetry and fanfiction and like dancing. 

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? Against my will?! lol no

 27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? Not certain characters but Relationships or stories definitely.  TWD Kings and Queen of Destruction title is based off of Queen of Destruction by Lana Del Rey,Esme and Chad Charming’s song I wrote was inspired by Taylor Swift’s Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince. But yeah I have entire playlists revolving around My Fics and Characters. 

 28. Your most dangerous OC? Helena obviously. She is married to The Anti Christ,and is pretty much the queen of hell. 

 29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going? Michelle,though Jughead and Betty would show up,wondering why they weren’t invited.

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? Marianna or Mandy.

 31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really) I have a headache and don’t feel like going into that much detail. 

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? Helena for obvious reasons.  Also My Original Story character Seezee,she’s pretty much created from a horror story since she has a split personality and killed her father. Although Ashlee would make a perfect protag. Considering she’s a part of The Evil Dead universe. 

 33. Your shyest OC? Mandy at first,until she moves to California. Amara when she’s younger. 

34. Do you have any twin characters? No

35. Any sibling characters? Yes. Marianna is Scott Mccall's Adoptive Sister and I also made Aladdin and Jasmine Daughters,as well as a son Ali. 

 36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? No...?

 37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human  Well Helena’s a reincarnated Witch who later becomes half demon,Amara’s a Valkyrie,Marianna is a Hybrid WereWitch,Levathia is a Vampire,Renee has Lightning powers,plus there’s all the Aliens,Gargoyles and Half Were’s running around. 

 38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? Michelle

 39. Introduce any character you want 

 40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share! 

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!) 

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? I mean Meghana obviously,seeing as she is one.

 43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? I suppose I have an affinity for Brunettes and Redheads lol 

44. Something you like about your OCs in general 

45. A character you no longer use? All My Original story Characters,i should use them more,I just never get inspired too. 

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly? Nope

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? lol No

 48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure. Um again probably an OC I haven’t used in forever,Windy. She is half Demon/Cartanian (Alien) but is actually really sweet (unlike her Mother) and wants to become a part of The CTA (Cartanian Tarian Alliance) when she grows up. 

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes 

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

[yes-i-would-like-to-be-stabbed]

Important:

I do not believe Freddy Krueger is a child molester or pedophile. I know it is implied in the remake but i wasn't a big fan of it personally. Robert Englund is my guy for Freddy. As for Freddy being a molester here is this:

" Craven's original script characterized Freddy as a child molester, which Craven said was the "worst thing" he could think of. The decision was made to instead make him a child murderer in order to avoid being accused of exploiting the spate of highly publicised child molestion cases in California around the time A Nightmare on Elm Street went into production."

Freddy was a child killer and while he might be super creepy, he is not a molester.

And for myself and my writings, Freddy only kills anyone older than 18 (so teens are 18 to 21 to me) I do not condone child murder in any way, shape or form.

Mentions of it is okay but highly detailed writing or talk in fanfiction is not my cup of tea.

So some of you may hate me or disagree with my opinion. And that's okay. Just don't send me hate for voicing my opinions. Go ahead and unfollow me if it bothers you.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Have a good day.

[myveryownfanfiction]

Chapter 3

I smiled as I looked at Robert. He looked so hopeful and I realized I was quickly falling for him. 

“Yes you get a second date.” I said softly. Robert grinned as he lifted my hand closer to his face. He gently kissed my knuckles before pulling me close and into a tight hug. I grinned madly as I hugged him back. 

“I had so much fun tonight.” Robert whispered. “More fun than I’ve had in awhile. Thank you.” I sighed happily as I relaxed more into the hug. Robert pulled away slowly before smiling at me. “How’s tomorrow after work?” I nodded and laughed. 

“As long as you don’t ask me to leave early again.” I teased. Robert smirked and took a step forward, blocking me between him and my car. His hand rested on the car door. 

“Take tomorrow off.” Robert’s voice dropped. My eyes widened. 

“Are you serious?” I gasped. Robert nodded as he took another step towards me. 

“I’ll pay your salary.” He reached up and cupped my cheek. I leaned into his touch slightly and bit my lip. “No wait that makes it sound illegal.” He chuckled. I nodded as he started to rub my cheekbone gently. “I’ll buy whatever you want. Even if it goes over what I pay you to work here.” I reached out and put my arms around Robert’s waist. His eyebrow raised. 

“You’re really serious about this.” I said with conviction. Robert nodded. “Ok then. I’ll take tomorrow off.” I smiled as Robert reached up to brush some hair back. 

“I’ll text you where to meet me.” He said before leaning in to kiss my cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow (Y/N).” Robert pulled back and walked over to his car before backing up and tearing out of the parking lot. I sloughed against my car, grabbing the car door to keep myself from falling to the ground. When I had finally collected myself, I got in my car and drove home. I got ready for bed before plugging in my phone and smiling at the thought of seeing Robert again tomorrow. I decided to text him before going to bed. 

‘I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.’ I hit send and settled into bed. I watched as the little dots appeared before being replaced by his message. 

‘I can’t wait either.’ I smiled before typing out my response. 

‘Anything in particular I should wear?’ I put my phone on my nightstand before turning out the light and settling back down. I reached for my phone as Robert’s text came through.

‘Just dress like you would if you were going to the mall.’ I started to type out my next message when Robert sent another. ‘You might want to bring a bathing suit. I managed to get an agreement with the soon to be ex Mrs. California to have the house for the weekend.’ I giggled at the eye roll emoji he used before adding to my original message. 

‘Sounds like a plan. I know just what I’m going to wear. Wait...you have a pool?’ After sending the message I opened my notes and wrote down what I would need to take to Robert’s as I no longer knew what to expect. I also set my alarm for a little later as I did not need to go into work. 

‘Yes I do. Well did.’ I smiled as I imagined Robert’s reaction to my text. ‘You better get some rest (Y/N). I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Good night x’ 

‘Good night Robert x’ I sent before putting my phone back down and settling in for the night. I drifted off with a smile on my face. I woke up to my phone ringing. Blinking at the bright light, I groaned at the time before answering it. 

“Hello?” I asked groggily. I rubbed my eyes before flopping on my back. 

“(Y/N)? Where are you?” Jim asked. I sighed as I looked at the time again. 

“Robert gave me the day off. I was sleeping.” I groaned. I heard Jim chuckle. This wasn’t the first time he had woken me up on one of my days off. “Please tell me that you don’t need me to come in.” I heard murmuring on the other end.

“No. You don’t need to come in. I think we all know why Robert wanted to give you the day off.” Jim sighed. “Andy was just a little concerned. We figured that since the warehouse crew quit…” I cut off Jim. 

“Wait what do you mean the warehouse crew quit?” I asked, shocked. “Why did they do that?” I sat up quickly. 

“They won the lotto.” I heard Pam answer. “You’re on speaker by the way.” I rolled my eyes at the obvious. 

“No I didn’t quit. I have a reason I’m not there and no it isn’t what you think Jim.” I explained. I heard a couple chuckles on the other end. 

“It’s ok (Y/N). You can tell us.” Meredith’s voice carried over the line. I rubbed my forehead, urging the oncoming headache to stop before it started. “We won’t tell anyone.” There were groans of protest from everyone before Meredith walked off in a huff. 

“So what’s it come to? What did they each win?” I asked as I layed back again. 

“Oh man, it’s gotta be over a hundred thousand dollars.” Jim said. 

“Awesome.” Pam and I said at the same time. 

“Before taxes.” Dwight informed us. 

“That’s still a lot of money.” Phyllis reminded everyone. 

“What really interests me is the group dynamic of six people winning the lottery.” Oscar said. “This will not end well. Right?” 

“Yeah.” Everyone agreed with him. 

“We’re looking at at least one suicide and one weird sex thing.” Meredith chimed back in. 

“At least.” I said. “Well before everyone starts fantasizing about what they would do with that much money, I’m going to try to get some more sleep before starting my day. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” I hung up my phone and checked the time again. Realizing my alarm would go off soon anyway I turned it off and got out of bed. I sent a quick text to Robert before jumping in the shower. I went as fast as I could and walked back into my bedroom wearing only a towel. I checked my phone and smiled at Robert’s text. 

‘Morning sweetheart. I can’t wait to see you later today.’ I wrote down the address he sent in a separate text before replying. 

‘I can’t wait either. Although are you sure that you don’t have to deal with the warehouse crew quitting?’ While I waited for his response, I pulled out my bathing suit to pack for later. I looked through my closet for the perfect outfit to wear. Nothing seemed to catch my attention until I reached the black ripped skinny jeans in the back of my closet. I smiled as I pulled them out and looked for a shirt to go with them. A text distracted me from my pursuit. 

‘What do you mean the warehouse crew quit?’ I rolled my eyes. Of course everyone at the office would keep it to themselves about the little set back. 

‘Jim called me this morning to see if I was a part of the group that won the lottery yesterday. Apparently the warehouse crew won and decided they didn’t need to work at Dunder Mifflin anymore.’ I quickly filled him in before going back to my search for the perfect shirt. I found it and pulled it out. I was halfway through getting ready when Robert texted me again. 

‘There. Andy is in charge of it. Problem solved.’ I laughed and decided to call him. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” His voice drifted over my speaker as I finished getting ready. 

“You kept distracting me from getting ready. So I solved the problem.” I laughed. Robert’s laugh joined mine and I couldn’t stop the smile that was growing. I put my phone in my back pocket and returned to the closet to pull out some shoes. 

“You’re the one who was asking me about work.” Robert teased. 

“I know. I know.” I conceded. “I just wanted to make sure that we wouldn’t have to go in when we are supposed to be enjoying ourselves.” There was silence on the other end and I pulled my phone out of my pocket to make sure that I hadn’t accidentally ended the call. I hadn’t. “Robert?” I asked when there was still no response. 

“You still want to spend the whole day with me in my soon to be ex-wife’s house?” Robert finally said. “Uninterrupted?” I bit back my giggle, knowing it wouldn’t be helpful in this situation. 

“Yes Robert.” I said calmly. “I’ve been looking forward to it actually.” I heard him sigh with relief on the other end. 

“How soon can you get here?” he asked. I could hear the tension in his voice. 

“I can leave in ten minutes.” I said as I quickly pulled out a pair of combat boots and laced them up. “Are you there already?” I heard a muffled voice on the other end before Robert sighed again. 

“Unfortunately.” He muttered. “As much as it pains me I have to go sweetheart. I will see you soon.” I bit my lip as Robert ended the call. I assumed the muffled voice was his soon to be ex-wife and couldn’t help the feeling of jealousy that was bubbling up. 

“It’s probably just so he can get the keys.” I murmured to myself as I finished packing my bag. I thought about packing a change of clothes just in case. I shook my head and zipped up the bag. Looking around the room, I pocketed my phone and headed to the front door. I picked up my keys before turning around and walking back into my room. I grumbled as I grabbed another shirt and pair of jeans from the closet and threw them in my bag along with my charger. Zipping it up and shouldering it, I made my way out the front door. I eagerly got into my car and put the address that Robert had given me into the GPS. The entire ride over, I was smiling with excitement as I got out of my car even though there was still a shred of jealousy swimming around in my head. I knocked on the door and bit my lip as I waited. The door opened, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Hi!” I said, nerves making my voice shaky. The woman that opened the door raised an eyebrow and turned back towards the inside of the house. 

“Robert! Get your ass over here!” She yelled into the house. I watched as she tapped her nails against the doorframe and I gripped my bag a little tighter. She eyed me as I nervously fidgeted and I gave her a nervous smile. Robert appeared behind her and he gave me a warm smile before turning to look at her. 

“What?” he snarked. I bit my lip as he held out his hand for me. I took it and he pulled me into the house. “I told you I was having a guest. This is my guest.” I tried not to giggle as Robert pulled me into him and wrapped his arm around me. 

“You can’t be serious.” Robert smirked at the woman that was now blocking the door. 

“Oh come on.” He teased. “You’re not jealous are you?” He laughed as he tugged me a little closer. “If you are, that’s just too bad.” He looked her up and down before licking his lips. I kept my eyes on him as the woman who had answered the door scared me. “You made your choice perfectly clear when you chose to bring YOUR date back here the day you knew I would be coming back from Florida.” The woman’s nostrils flared and her face turned red while Robert looked smug. “So if you’d be so kind to leave us the house like you said you would, we have some things to attend to.” Letting go of me, Robert slowly walked towards the woman who kept backing up until she was out of the door. “Good-bye.” He slammed the door in her face before busting up laughing. I smiled at him as he made his way back to me. “That felt so damn good!” he laughed. I shook my head at him. 

“How long have you been waiting to do that?” I giggled as I asked. Robert took my bag and hung it over his shoulder. I took his free hand and let him gently pull me through the house. Robert looked over at me with a big grin. 

“Probably since a month after we got married.” He shrugged. “I’ll never understand what it was about her that I was attracted to. If I’m being honest it was probably the sex but even that lost whatever it was that made it good.” I moved closer and hugged his arm. 

“So why did you stick around so long?” I asked quietly. Robert bit his lip as he pushed a door open and tossed my bag on the bed. He looked down at my arms entwined around his. 

“I’m not entirely sure if I’m being honest.” He murmured. “It was probably because she was one of the few people that would put up with me. Or that she never really judged me.” I squeezed his hand and rested my head on his shoulder. “I knew she was sleeping around. Hell I was too.”

“Then why divorce her now?” I asked quietly. Robert turned towards me and gently pulled me over to the bed. Sitting down, he put his hands on my waist. I rested my hands on his shoulders and he looked up at me. 

“Something snapped. The last guy,” Robert shook his head. “She brought him back here and I caught them. It was real all of a sudden. It didn’t help that he was an old partner at the company I left for Dunder Mifflin.” I gently gripped the material on his shoulders. “Thing is, I had somehow known it was going to be him. Not some random guy.. He shrugged. “I guess that is the price I pay for basically doing the same thing when I started with her.” My eyes widened and Robert shook his head. “I’m not doing that with you. Me and her were over before I even laid eyes on you. It just took that one event to push us over the finish line. We were already getting a divorce before I met you.” 

“You said when you got back from Florida.” I said, confusion spilling into my tone. “But I thought,” Robert cut me off. 

“I got back from Florida a week before I met you. I went back down after I arrived at the office and then I came back that day I met you. The divorce was already being worked out before I even arrived at the office.” Robert comforted me. I nodded as he pulled me closer. “(Y/N), I swear it is going to be different between us. No sleeping around. No running around all the time. No cutting you out. If you want to continue this, that is.” I nodded as I wrapped my arms around his neck. 

“I want to continue this.” I whispered. Robert smiled up at me. “I believe you. I trust you. And I won’t do any of that to you. Ever.” He pulled me into his lap and I giggled at the action. 

“That is incredibly good to hear.” He said as he rested his head against mine. “Do you want to stay the whole weekend? I realized I never actually asked you that.” I laughed as I started to run my fingers through Robert’s hair. 

“I’m going to have to go back to my house to grab some extra clothes but yeah. I’d love to spend the weekend here with you.” Robert pressed a kiss to my cheek before hugging me tighter. “It just isn’t fair to leave you all alone in this giant house all weekend.” I teased. Robert chuckled before pulling back from me. “It isn’t!” My voice rose slowly as Robert stood up with me in his arms. 

“That’s what you say now.” He teased back as he walked through the house. I saw the backyard through the glass doors. “What about later?” I quickly flung my arms around his neck and held on tightly. 

“Robert!” I cried as he started to laugh. “Don’t you dare!” He smiled at me as he adjusted his grip on me. 

“Dare what?” He chuckled at my reaction as I attempted to move closer to him. 

“At least let me put my bathing suit on!” Robert backed into the door and turned back towards the pool. “Robert, my clothes are going to get all wet!” He laughed as he walked over to the edge of the pool. I tried to maneuver myself so I was on his back instead but Robert’s grip tightened on me. 

“Then I’ll put them in the dryer.” Robert said. I held onto him for dear life. “Do you want me to put you down sweetheart?” 

“Yes!” I exclaimed. Robert started to drop me. “But not in the…” My sentence was cut off by a splash. I surfaced and Robert laughed as I pushed my hair out of my face. “Pool.” Robert doubled over with laughter and I bit the inside of my lip. 

“You should have seen the look on your face.” He gasped out. I bit my lip a little harder before I got an idea. 

“Oh yeah?” I asked. “You should see the look on yours.” He looked up at me before he was covered in the miniwave that I created with my arm. I laid back in the water and laughed. Robert wiped the excess water off of his face before smiling down at me. Robert shook his head and chuckled. 

“I should have seen that coming.” He shook his head. I moved to the edge of the pool and smiled up at him. 

“Yes you should have.” I giggled. Robert squatted down in front of me and brushed a piece of hair off of my cheek. I smiled at him as I pushed back from the wall and carefully reached below the water to pull off my pants. I successfully removed them and tossed them at Robert. They hit his leg and he looked at me in awe. I took the moment of shock to remove my top and threw it at him as well. I ducked below the water to hide my blush and avoid Robert’s reaction. When I broke the surface, I pushed my hair out of my face. I swallowed when I saw the look on Robert’s face. I bit my lip as I watched him slowly unzip his track jacket and take it off. 

“If that’s how you want to play it.” He deadpanned. I took in what he looked like and nodded. “Alright then.” He smirked and pulled down his pants before jumping into the pool. I stayed where I was and let him come to me. My cheeks grew even redder as he put his hands on my waist. He kept his eyes level with mine. 

“I did not expect you to do that.” I murmured. Robert cocked his head and chewed on the inside of his lip. I noticed he did that a lot when he was thinking. 

“Is this alright?” He asked softly. I put my hands on his shoulders as I nodded. 

“More than alright.” I said. “I just didn’t expect it. Although with you I should expect the unexpected.” Robert chuckled before gently tugging me towards him. I let him pick me up underwater and wrapped my legs around his waist. I smiled as his hands settled on the small of my back. Robert looked at me lovingly and I blushed under his constant gaze. 

“This beats having to deal with the warehouse crew doesn’t it?” He asked. I nodded again as I gently ran my fingers through his slowly curling hair. 

“Yeah.” I said absentmindedly. “It does.” Robert smiled gently at me again before leaning in slowly. I stayed where I was and waited. It was like time stood still as he kissed me for the first time. My fingers stopped moving and remained entangled in his hair as his grip tightened on me. Any nerves I had about spending the rest of the weekend with Robert dissipated when we pulled away and looked into each other’s eyes. “That really beats it.” I murmured. Robert smiled and started walking to the wall of the pool.

“I concur.” He said as he sat me on the edge of the pool. I kept my legs wrapped around him and removed my fingers from his hair. We settled into a comfortable silence before I broke it. 

“Will there be more of that this weekend?” I asked, my voice coming out small and hopeful. Robert kissed me gently again before answering. 

“There will definitely be more of that this weekend.” he said, his breath fanning over my lips. I smiled at the feeling. “And even more of it in the coming weeks.” He kissed me again, almost sealing away the promise of something more to come. We stayed out in the pool, making out and enjoying the warmth of the day. When the sun had moved overhead, we got out of the pool and Robert collected our clothes. He moved through the house with ease and I had to remind myself that he had lived here for awhile before moving into his apartment. “Do you have a change of clothes?” Robert asked as he noticed me in the doorway, still wrapped in the towel that he had given me. I shrugged. 

“What if I don’t?” I asked, curious to see what his response would be. He took my hand and led me back to the bedroom. Pulling out his suitcase from under the bed, he took out a shirt and a pair of boxers. 

“They’re going to be big but they should work until your clothes are dry at least.” He held them out to me and I gaped at him. “What?” He looked at me confused before trying to put the clothes in my hand. “Don’t you need clothes?” I slowly shook my head and Robert lowered the clothes to the bed. 

“I just wanted to see what you would do.” I said. “I didn’t expect you to give me something to wear out of your own suitcase.” He chuckled and picked at a stray string on the shirt. 

“Well I wasn’t going to give you something of hers.” He motioned behind him to a closet undoubtedly filled with his ex’s clothes. There was a tense silence that settled over us. “I feel like an idiot now.” He said as he finally looked at me. I shook my head and took the clothes. I kissed his cheek and walked into the ensuite bathroom. I stripped out of my undergarments and put on Robert’s clothes. I used the towel to dry my hair some more before walking back out of the bathroom. 

“How do I look?” I asked as I leaned against the doorway. Robert looked over at me before giving me a small smile. He nodded as he took me in and I noticed him biting his lip again. I smiled as I made my way into the room and walked right up to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist before leaning in to kiss him. Robert relaxed into the kiss and let out a small whine as we pulled away. “Thank you.” He nodded slowly. 

“It’s awkward isn’t it?” He asked. I cocked my head. 

“What is?” I asked. Robert looked around the room. 

“Being here instead of my apartment.” He looked back at me. “Or yours.” I shrugged as I ran my hand up his back. 

“A little.” I agreed. “But once we get comfortable around each other like this, it won't be as awkward. It’ll be a little rebellious. Making out in your ex’s house and sleeping in her bed. Swimming in her pool and eating her food.” I shrugged again before giving him a quick kiss. “Sounds like fun to me.” Robert chuckled lowly as he pulled me tighter against him. 

“Sounds like fun to me too darling.” He said before pulling me onto the bed with him. And it was the most fun weekend I had had in a long time.

[robertcurlyfornia]

let's talk. I'm not complaining or anything but where are all the Robert California love stories? I KNOW he is hot and we all want to see him being naughty and perverted while we're reading smut and ok it's fine guys this is so valid, but why isn't the hottest man alive allowed to live a romance? Where are all the slow burn? Our naughty boy deserves to be loved too 😭 please writers give me some Robert California love story!!!!

[aletdownsquid]

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[screechthemighty]

Hey, I did promise I’d share my rough timeline for my “One is Quick, The Other’s Tall” series, didn’t I? Well, here you go! Hopefully this makes sense, it’s currently uhhh past 3 a.m. where I am and I’m bad at math.

NOTE: While I drew heavily from the Titanfall and Apex Legends lore as found on the Titanfall wiki and the Apex Legends site, a lot of the stuff post Battle of Typhon is shit I made up to satisfy the ideas I already had before Apex Legends came out. I have theories about what the actual lore might be playing at, and some of those theories are integrated into this timeline, but yeah, this shit is super not canon except in my fanfiction. (Except for Cooper’s Birthday, that is actually canon. We also know his blood type. Fun fact.)

UPDATED 5/5/2020 to reflect some shifting headcanons and accommodate new lore (including more canon-accurate years).

Year: 2440:

The simulacrum known as “Revenant” is successfully activated.

Year: 2665

Coriolanus Marder born on Earth.

Year: 2668

Tai Lastimosa is born in Detroit, MI.

Marcus Graves is born in Hackney, London.

Barker’s brother Parker Taube is born in upstate New York.

Year: 2670

IMC first begins its colonization efforts in the Frontier. 

April 20: Ashwin Narita is born in Oakland, California.

Year: 2671

December 8: Robert “Barker” Taube is born in upstate New York.

Year: 2672

James “Mac” MacAllan is born in the mid-west United States.

October 25: Barker’s brother Christian Taube is born in upstate New York.

Year: 2675

Due to increased conflict in the core worlds and (at the time) slow returns on investment in the Frontier, IMC presence in the Frontier begins to dwindle, leaving the colonies still technically under IMC control but effectively autonomous.

Year: 2683

Anton “Bear” Gates is born in the Frontier.

Year: 2682

Kuben Blisk is born in South Africa.

Isabelle Gates (born Isabelle West) is born on Earth.

Year: 2685

IMC returns to the Frontier to find it thriving, begins re-asserting themselves as a dominant governing force.

Year: 2686

Sarah Brigg is born in the Frontier.

Cheng “Bish” Lorck is born on Earth.

Year: 2687 

October 6: Jack Cooper is born in Houston, TX.

Tomas Droz is born in England. 

Year: 2688

Jack Cooper, Droz, and Tai Lastimosa arrive in the Frontier as part of a fresh wave of settlers and an increased IMC presence in the Frontier. 

Jake Seung Davis is born on the ship to the Frontier.

Tai Lastimosa loses his sister and adopts his niece Cassandra Lastimosa (referenced in “the proving grounds”).

Year: 2690

The Titan Wars begin, though at the time they seemed like only a small series of uprisings on various planets.

Year: 2693

Barker arrives in the Frontier, along with Victoria Jo (see: “lessons learned”) and James “Mac” MacAllan. 

The Titan Wars move from a few brush fire combats to regular, widespread warfare as more systems become upset with their treatment at the hands of the IMC.

Spyglass is activated.

Year: 2697

Barker and Cooper meet (as referenced in “steal my heart and break my pride”) while Cooper is being forcibly moved from a more coastal region of Persephone to an inland one.

Year: 2700

Barker is discharged from the IMC.

Mac commandeers the Odyssey.

End of the Titan Wars, and the beginning of the period known as the Frontier Wars.

Ashwin Narita is killed during one of the final battles of the Titan Wars, and re-animated as a simulacrum.

Year: 2701

Ashwin Narita breaks free of his programming and flees to Angel City, where he is eventually found and hired by Barker as a bouncer at his new bar.

Year: 2702

Alexander “Caustic” Nox is born.

Year: 2713

The main series of events in “steal my heart and break my pride” take place, culminating in Cooper joining Persephone’s “home defense” resistance group in early autumn.

Year: 2714

Elliott’s brother Miles Witt is born.

Year: 2715

Cooper joins the Frontier Militia.

Fracture Operation; Cooper gets a concussion. 

Battle of Demeter (main events of Titanfall).

Anita “Bangalore” Williams is born.

Year: 2716

Elliott’s brother Christopher (AKA Chris) Witt is born.

Loba Andrade is born.

Vanguard Program begins (R&D for the Vanguard class Titan, supported by Captain Tai Lastimosa, headed up by Dr. Karen de Paul).

Year: 2717

BT-7274 is activated, one of the first three Vanguard-class Titans created.

BT-7274 links with Tai Lastimosa.

Year: 2718

Elliott’s brother Henry Witt is born.

Year: 2719

Jack Cooper and Tai Lastimosa meet for the first time; Lastimosa begins training Cooper (see: “the proving grounds”).

Year: 2720

April: Battle of Typhon (Events of Titanfall 2). 

May: BT-7274 is re-activated. Elliott “MIrage” Witt is born.

December: Renee “Wraith” Blasey is born.

Makoa Gibraltar is born.

Year: 2721

Human!BT fics happen during this year.

Elliott’s father, Raleigh Medina, dies.

Year: 2725

By this point, the IMC and the Militia are in a technical stalemate. The arrival of IMC officials from the core marks the start of peace talks between the various factions making up the Frontier Militia and the IMC.  

This same year, the Remnant fleet makes a final push to eliminate the Militia and, seeing the IMC leaders present in the Frontier as co-conspirators, attacks them as well. The IMC and the Militia must band together to defeat the Remnant Fleet.

“Revenant” breaks free of his programming and goes rogue.

This is also the year that the full extent of Hammond’s simulacrum program (along with other dubiously ethical practices) become known to the general public as new IMC leadership begins looking into what happened while they weren’t looking.

Year: 2726

Frontier War ends with the Remnant Fleet being driven “underground”; peace talks include trade agreements, planets assigned, etc. Roughly 1/2 of the Frontier’s core cluster of planets goes to the IMC while the other 1/2 is represented by individual governments, but technically part of a planetary coalition that made up the Militia. The Outlands (the various planets on the far reaches of the Frontier, all colonized by people fleeing the Titan and Frontier Wars) are technically independent operators as well, though some planets are contested (leading to on-and-off conflicts, with some still going on as of 2750).

Ajay “Lifeline” Che is born.

Octavio “Octane” Silva is born.

Year: 2728

Natalie “Wattson” Paquette is born.

Year: 2730

Pathfinder’s active memory begins. He immediately begins his search for his creator.

Year: 2738

Henry Witt is declared MIA. 

Year: 2739

Miles Witt is declared MIA.

[SENSITIVE INFORMATION REDACTED]

Wraith’s first solid memories begin here in a mental hospital in IMC space.

Year: 2740

Last known sighting of the Remnant Fleet as of the events of Apex Legends.

Chris Witt is declared KIA during this final attack before they are forced underground again.

Wraith escapes the mental hospital and flees to the Outlands.

Year: 2741

Elliott and his mother move to Solace.

Year: 2748:

Robert “Barker” Taube passes away.

Year: 2750

Anita “Bangalore” Williams takes part in a covert IMC mission in the Outlands. During this mission, the ship she’s on (the Hestia) is attacked and her brother, Jackson, is MIA (presumed dead). Bangalore finds herself stranded in the Outlands.

Elliott and Pathfinder meet; Elliott encourages Pathfinder to join the Apex Legends competition.

Events of Apex Legends (AKA pretty much all of my “Talk Some Sense to Me” series take place here).