#which also sucks because even though i'm happy most of the time people say even when i'm happy i seem tired

[woodnrust]

Me when my anger issues get the best of me...

[onlyseokmins]

show and tell • l.s.m.

Pairing: lee seokmin x afab!reader Genres: smut (minors dni!), best friends/idiots to lovers!au Warnings: swearing, lotssss of teasing/switch dynamics, tickling, reader is obsessed w/ seokmin's body, they're idiots your honor and they're a lil bit in L-word 🤮, mingyu thrown under the bus as always, ONE BAD PUN BC I THINK I'M FUNNY, sex is as silly as me, BIG COCK SEOK 🗣️ like he's fucking huge okay, oral (both rec. kind of), attempt at 69 but seok's a menace the entire time, fingering, CRYING/TEARS, possession, biting, marking, multiple orgasms, squirting, lil bit of cumplay ig?, mentions of prev partners, overstim... i think that's it lmk if i missed smth 🥵😰 WC: 6.5k A/N: um so this is the most self-indulgent thing i dared to post you're WELCOME i shall now go die in a hole to never be seen ever again... happy belated birthday to the loml ugh ty to all the frens that let me sob in their dms and to @onlymingyus for helping me with a damn title 💖

The commonly shared belief among your friend group was that Seokmin is abnormally soft when it comes to you.

You thought they were full of shit. 

The bestest buddy in the world was also the softest ray of morning sunshine to ever exist in general. You could barely count on one hand the number of people he genuinely ever showed disdain towards or didn't get along with. All in all — it was extremely hilarious in your opinion because Seokmin's fluffy personality greatly contrasted with his lean, sharp physique. 

Ironically, the main reason you ended up in this position.

Just moments before, you were on his bed and caged between his arms. The dog tag necklace you'd gifted, engraved with his birth date and initials, swinging in the same rhythm that your heart rapidly beats with the small space separating your bodies. A sly grin raises the corners of his lips, the long fingers of his left-hand creeping up to trail lightly at your sides.

"I know you have abs."

Seokmin's hands fly up to wrap defensively around his body, though all in good jest. "You can't just ask a dude how many abs he has!"

"And you can't lie to me by saying you don't have any! Do you know how many of your dude-bros have blabbed about your crazy gym routine to me? Can you even guess how many girls bitched at me 'cause you weren't shirtless at my pool party? As if that's my fault?"

"But it's mine?"

"No, all I have to do is prove them wrong. So, show me the goods!"

You sucked at making up your mind — what to eat, what to wear, what to watch, what to do — okay, but who doesn't? It's something Seokmin was very familiar with, hence him always having to pick up wherever you left off. He also knows just as well that once you've settled on something, you'll see it through to the very end. Eventually. 

Which normally works out in his favor except in moments like now. So he resorts to a different preventative measure — tickling the decisiveness right out of you.

Like hell you'll let him do what he wants.

Maybe the whispers about him being soft for you were right. After all, it's to your utter benefit when you push at his shoulder. Only a bit unbalanced, he easily falls onto his side and you scramble to climb on top of him at record speed, one arm pinning Seokmin's wrists against the pillow beneath his head. 

Unfortunately, this looks like one of your 3,718,493,842 very bad choices in life. Once again, something you didn't think all the way through. Sure, you've bested Seokmin at light wrestling and play-fighting before — back when you were toddlers and all he did was cry.

Now, at adult ages, it seems like a horrible, terrible, very bad idea to have him beneath you. Your fingers play with the hem of his black t-shirt that's ridden up ever so slightly, unbearablely close to the leather band of his silver belt buckle. 

Seokmin's pupils are blown wide as he looks up at you with a strange, almost starry-eyed look of surprise. Black bangs flipped up across the dark gray of his blanket, silver chain askew shining against his collarbones, mouth slightly ajar.

Suddenly you're hyper-aware of sitting right on top of him, completely obliterating the distance between your bodies earlier, and leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination from what you can feel nestled in between your legs. 

"Would it be inappropriate of me to take your shirt off right now?" you can't help but ask.

He laughs, all breathless and high-pitched like he does when he's nervous. "You're asking for permission?"

"Seokmin," you whine and shift your hips in protest without thinking. Another bad move. Oops. "I'm trying to be polite."

"You have me pinned to my bed with the intent to strip me and you're worried about being polite?"

"Oh, please, you could easily break free."

It's true. His wrists twitch a bit under your grasp, almost like he's attempting to do just that but you're faster once more. Or he's just letting you have your way with him. Whatever the case, your other hand firmly holds both of his down which only brings your faces closer together.

"Don't move."

"Okay," Seokmin agrees and licks his lips, "at least you know what consent means."

"Are you consenting?"

"Depends on what to."

"Me taking off your shirt."

"… Should I be flattered?"

"Very."

Brown eyes close, his brow furrowing. For a minute, you think you've accidentally taken things too far and are about to quickly apologize and backpedal before things backfire until his lips quirk up and Seokmin snorts.

"Never imagined you'd be stripping me like this."

You would agree because what the hell? All this for some abs? But the way he says it makes you pause.

"Have you imagined this before?"

Expecting him to panic or something, you're even more taken aback when he bites his lip like he's holding back more laughter. 

"And what if I have? You'll be offended even if I lie." 

You narrow your eyes challengingly while his sparkle. "Are you… flirting with me?" 

"That is not how I flirt but okay." 

"You're being weird. Weird weird. Like super-duper weird." 

"Says the one soaking my jeans, right now." 

You want to scream. Instead, you let out a scandalized gasp, eyes widening. The effort it takes to bolt away means you must release Seokmin. Something that doesn't even cross your mind with the shame heating up your cheeks, mortification setting off every sirening alarm in your nervous system.

Your first mistake.

Countless other mistakes will be made after this, but looking back — could they really be watered down to just a mistake after the end results? Why you're even so embarrassed in the first place is beyond you. And your best friend has zero intentions of letting you get away from him.

The minute Seokmin's hands are freed, one flies to keep your hips pressed against his while the other gently braces your back. Lifting his torso up with insane core strength he clearly was lying about not having, you have no choice but to wrap an arm instinctively around his neck like a koala. Your other hand curls into a fist, clinging against the fabric straining with the flex of his chest muscles while simultaneously attempting to push him back in a futile effort.

"Breathe," Seokmin murmurs in mild concern. His eyes crinkle as he smiles encouragingly. "Breathe for me, babe."

You hadn't even realized you were holding your breath. If you inched any closer forward, your nose would brush against his, and leaning too far back would end up with him on top of you again.

"This is all your fault, babe."

"You're the one that started this in the first place, babe."

"All I wanted was to see your abs," your voice drops to a pathetic whisper, "babe."

"All you had to do was ask, silly."

"I did!"

To your horror, he leans in even closer with a devious smirk so his nose brushes tenderly against yours. "For yourself. Not others."

"What… what are you playing at Seokmin?"

"It's like you misinterpret everything I do on purpose."

"I — "

"If you think I'm just playing around you're sorely mistaken."

A beat of silence. "Then what are you doing?"

"Nothing," he says innocently even though the hand on your back trails upwards and not-so-innocently unclasps the bra underneath your shirt. 

Your jaw drops. Of course, your modest top is still on and the shoulder straps keep your undergarment in place. Yet, you feel naked with the way Seokmin shamelessly ogles your covered chest and lets out a satisfied groan, pleased that you weren't wearing a sports bra. After all, it's not the first time he's done that for you — but it is under this strange context.

"Seokmin — "

"I'll do whatever you want me to do. Tell me." His voice is low, rougher than you've ever heard, causing tingles to shoot down your spine at the way he says your name. "I should take full responsibility for whatever happens."

His last sentence echoes over and over inside your head because yeah, what the hell is going to happen? — until you blurt out, "You find me attractive?"

Finally, Seokmin acts the way you expect and are familiar with, his shy demeanor coming out like sun rays peeking through overcast clouds. Bowing his head, forehead flopping on your shoulder, he admits defeat. 

"As if that's even a question, goofball."

"No way — there's no way! My bestie, you, find me, your bestie, like. Hot?"

"Look, I know it's cliché to fall for your friend and all that stupid shit," he grumbles, "but you don't have to sound so shocked. I already know thanks to Mingyu."

You freeze. "Know what?"

"… You're really going to make me say it?" he laughs in disbelief and shakes his head against your shoulder, causing your loose strap to slide down. "When my pride's already in tatters?"

Urging Seokmin to pick up his head and look at you, you face his brown eyes straight-on and cup his flushed cheek. "What did Mingyu say that crushed your pride?"

He sighs. "He told you I liked you before I ever got the chance to say it myself to you."

Your eyebrows raise. "He did?"

"Yeah. And I thought you just. Well. I don't know, I thought you were just ignoring it out of consideration or something. Obviously. Since you didn't say anything."

"… All 'cause I was pretty sure he blabbered about accidentally spilling the beans to you about me liking you."

The both of you pause, silently cursing poor Mingyu. He did mean well. Somehow.

"You're joking right," Seokmin whispers, "is this real?"

"What makes you think it's not."

"Because you've only ever returned my feelings in my dreams."

Your pride swells at that, wrapping your arms around his neck daringly. "Dream about me often?"

He falls backward on the bed, taking you down with him with your bodies pressed tightly together. You admire his handsome features with renewed thirst while he shuts his eyes, no longer forcing yourself to view him through the platonic lenses you'd kept on for so long.

Then his eyes flash back open and you flinch at the burning desire blazing within them. He's never looked at you like that, at least not directly and it ignites the equal yearning you feel for him like a match.

"Yeah," he answers your teasing question, "I do."

Just the thought alone makes you dizzy. Your best friend, your sweet and lovely Seokmin who puts up with all your bullshit, laying here on this exact bed with thoughts of you consuming his mind. Pining for you. Wanting you. Shit, you think he deserves to have all his fantasies come true. And you're more than happy to help him out. 

"What do we do in your dreams?"

"Everything. Anything."

An iron-clad grip will probably leave bruises behind but it's not enough to stop you from a slow, lazy grind of your hips. You sit up for more leverage, hands on his broad shoulders for support, watching with smugness oozing out of your smile as he struggles to continue his wholesome thoughts.

"Holding hands, cute dates, buying you pretty things… "

"C'mon babe," you tease, "what else?"

"Ah… " Seokmin sighs, throwing an arm over his face to hide his eyes though it can't hide the flush creeping up his neck, to his cheeks, and coloring his cute ears. "You know… "

"Nah, I don't. Not unless you tell me." 

"… Just gets lonely in bed. At night. Cold."

"We've slept together before when I've stayed the night and vice versa."

"Mhm, but never with my dick inside of you."

You coo, trying to keep up your unbothered façade as though the quickening pace of your hips isn't making an insane mess of his lap. 

"Poor little Seokminnie had to jerk off all by himself." Leaning down to whisper maliciously in the ear that isn't shielded by his elbow, "Or did you do it while I was laying next to you because you were so frustrated?"

"As if," he scoffs, "and I'm not sure what you mean by little."

Like a switch has flipped, two hands return and grip your hips, keeping them stationary. To prove his point hard, it's Seokmin's turn to grind his pelvis up into the moist heat of your covered cunt while holding you still to feel every agonizingly delicious drag of his cock. The way he can feel you pulse against him even through your thin shorts, the devastating whimper that leaves your mouth when the rough fabric manages to catch your clit just right make up for the mildly gross stickiness of precum inside of his jeans.

A sadistic grin leers at you, almost a snarl. Such a jarring contrast to the normally soft, fond looks you're used to and a shudder runs through your body at the shock, another rush of heated arousal dripping from your pussy.

It's cute, Seokmin thinks to himself, how you put up this act and think you're the one in control when it's really me, the one whose lap you're on.

"Can you even blame me?" he growls, not waiting nor expecting any answer as he sits back up, jostling your body in the process. "I was so good, so well-behaved in front of you. And yet you waltz around me with barely anything on all the damn time, flirting with all my friends in that skimpy bathing suit without a care in the world… "

You don't even know when you ended up on your back. Staring wide-eyed into Seokmin's narrowed ones, his eyelids fluttering as he recalls these memories, fist clenched and arms tense as he towers on top of you once again. He's panting, lower body still pressed against yours.

"Batting your eyelashes at me, giggling, grinding that sweet ass all over me on the dancefloor and then skipping away even though I wanted to touch you so badly… and if that's not torturing enough, constantly showing up in my dreams, always out of reach… So yeah, I'm just a little frustrated, sorry."

"I'm… I'm… I-I didn't know — "

"I know that. I know that and that's why I felt like utter trash. You didn't mean any of it and here I am throwing my disgusting fantasies on you."

"Don't say that," you plead and cup the side of his face, running your thumb repeatedly across his mole. "You're not trash, Seokmin. I wasn't thinking — I mean I didn't realize… I just — "

"Please," he interrupts suddenly, desperately begging. "Please tell me… if this… if this is going to be a spur of the moment, out of pity, and a one-time thing… please tell me you don't want this. That you don't want me — "

"I want to kiss you." 

You watch his body tremble before he takes a deep breath, smiling up at him as his eyes gradually open. They blink owlishly at you, nearly crossing in his attempt to scan your face if he really heard you correctly as you guide him by the jawline close to your lips.

"I want you, Seokmin."

To be honest, you've never really imagined what it'd feel like to kiss your best friend. The movies you've watched make it out to be magical, enchanting, and something out of a fairy tale. Sure, maybe they're not wrong but the majority of entertainment is the bad boy turning sweet or a soft boy remaining a gentleman.

Nothing's prepared you for awakening the beast in a good boy.

He kisses you with a ferocity that steals your breath from the get-go. A sensual clash of teeth, tongue, spit, love bites, and nips. Seokmin always had an enjoyable, pleasing tone to his voice and it sounds even better when he's grunting and groaning in the laidback battle for dominance.

Somehow, your clothes are merely disheveled and not ripped off despite continual tangling and grabbing at each other. Once again, you find yourself back on top as you gasp for air — having to push him away when he chases after you for more kisses. If you thought he was pretty before, he's even lovelier with shiny, swollen lips and a dazed, hungry look in his eyes.

Despite pouting at the sudden distance, the man astonishingly looks at you like you've hung the stars in the sky. As if he's never seen the ugly sides of you, your lowest and most embarrassing moments. His gaze trails from where you sit on his thighs to the rise and fall of your heaving chest to your blown-out pupils with such appreciation and awe that your cheeks are set aflame.

Although maybe you're just seeing a reflection of your own adoration. Running your hand down the toned length of one of his arms, you intertwine your fingers together. A smirk returns to your face as he squeezes back, distracted.

"So, can I see your abs now?"

Seokmin groans your name and chews on his lip, uncertain. You shrug and toy with the hem of your own shirt before decisively pulling it over your head. A blissed-out sigh escapes his mouth at the reveal.

Your bra is undone — thanks to his earlier mischief — and barely covers your breasts. Threatening to fall off at the slightest move, you pretend to protect what little modesty you might have and keep it in place with a free hand. 

"Tit for tat?" you tease.

He audibly gulps and you watch his Adam's apple bob. You wait patiently, letting him go at his own pace and back out if he wants. Though he does relent because he feels at comfort with you, revealing his gorgeous tan skin and upper body you hadn't seen in what feels like years.

"Omigod…" you gasp out and he cringes, upper body taut with nerves. "You've been hiding a six-pack away from the public for so long?"

"I — "

"I want to touch them."

"Why are you so obsessed with my abs?"

"'cause they're mythical. Like unicorns or… or Bigfoot."

"You're comparing me to a yeti?"

"Not yet…i!"

He rolls his eyes at the ridiculous pun. "I thought I was getting a 'tit for tat'?"

"Yeah," you nonchalantly slide off your loose bra and toss it somewhere on his bedroom floor. Seokmin doesn't even get to relish the bare sight of your tits for his own enjoyment because you're grumbling, "can't even show his best friend his fine ass abs," and he has to correct you.

"Maybe if I was your boyfriend, I'd show them to you all the time."

"Oh? Is that a promise? A threat? A distraction?"

"An offer. A suggestion even."

"It's pretty tempting," you play coy, "can I touch you if I say yes?"

"Only if I can touch you too."

"Then yes." Your pointer finger travels down the flexed crease of his skin to right above his belly button. "Can I see your dick now?"

"But I want… I'd like to… taste you."

"Later," you assure and daringly place a kiss above his waistband. Your hands tug at the belt when his hips stutter upwards. "Please?"

He's gone the moment you flutter your eyelashes at him and so are his ruined jeans. Discarded on the floor to join the growing number of other clothing when he says yes. 

Even Seokmin himself would admit he is indeed too soft for you but his cock certainly isn't. Your eyes nearly bug out when it flops against his stomach, angry red and leaking tears of precum. He grits his teeth at how much it aches, perfect jawline even more prominent. 

His self-esteem would have been dashed to pieces at the devastating frown on your pretty face but it's greatly inflated when all you can do is whimper out, "You're so big… "

"Yeah?"

Your best friend — no, now your boyfriend, you suppose — hisses when you blink at him. 

"There's no way you're gonna fit."

"Hah, 's never been a problem before." Nails dig into his thigh, the little show of possession at the mention of his previous partners wickedly giving Seokmin another ego boost. He's quick to try and appease you though by saying, "don't worry, babe… let me prep and taste you, I'll make it fit I promise and you'll feel good."

"Fuckin' sweet talker." You feel a hand reach out to temptingly slip under the band of your shorts. "Everything about you is always so sweet."

"'m sure you taste even sweeter." 

"Seokmin…" 

"Hm?" His touch grows bolder at the moan of his name, squeezing at the plumpness of your ass. "Will you please let me have a taste? Just wanna help you out." 

You won't be thinking I'm so sweet after this. 

Eager to touch him, you nod and start to take off your shorts but Seokmin is faster. Nearly tearing them off your body in excitement and somehow managing to position your bare lower body right where he wants it. 

Luckily, you're able to face his neglected cock. A shriek leaves your mouth, though, because the hardened tip of his tongue is searching for your clit, lathing and suckling on it when he does find it. 

You try to focus on your prize but it's difficult with the vigor he's attacking your throbbing, needy pussy. Seokmin holds you up high enough that he can leave occasional nips on the inner crease of your hips before harshly licking and sucking up your messy arousal. Shaking his head back and forth with an animalistic growl, all you can do is resort to pitiful kitten licks and slobbering mindlessly on just the side of his cock. 

The more you attempt to wrap your lips fully around the tip, the further down he brings you to his mouth until you're almost suffocating him. A brutal assault where you can only twitch your hips to which he agreeably grunts, gliding you across his open mouth ever so slightly. Unable to escape the throes of pleasure, not that you would want to — you give up and give in. 

Tears fill your eyes as your body convulses and shakes, staring longingly at his cock through bleary eyes. Seokmin's muffled moans as he gladly helps you ride out your orgasm with your fluttering hole clamping around his tongue barely registering in your ears. You feel like you're floating while underwater in the most delicious of ways. 

Seokmin manages to nudge you enough so he can catch his breath while waiting for you to come back to him. A fond smile on his lips when you're finally able to move and he helps you flop by his side. 

"Why on earth are you a pussy-eating pro?" 

"You keep complaining about things most people don't find fault in." 

"I wanted to suck the life out of you, not the opposite." You reach for his cock again but he stops you — again — and rubs the back of your hand consolingly while he wipes the wet mess you'd left on his face with a smirk like a badge of honor he takes pride in. "Lee Seokmin!" 

"Shhh, don't whine, baby. Almost there, I'll let you have my dick soon. Give it to you real good. Now that I've confirmed what a tight, good little pussy you have for myself, gotta make sure you're stretched out enough. Don't wanna hurt you." 

"It already hurts, 'm so empty, 'min." 

"Greedy," he snickers, knowing you're full of shit, and sits up. "After I just stuffed you with my tongue so well that you complained about it, now you want me again?" 

"Always want you. Always have. Didn't realize it before but it's true. 'm sorry, Seokkie, need you so bad though." 

"Lucky I like you so much. Now turn around, let me see that lovely ass of yours." 

You do as he says, clambering up on all fours and arching your back prettily, looking over your shoulder to see what he'll do next. 

The sight alone is a wet dream. He's licking his lips, brown eyes honed in on your puffy, seeping cunt until he's snapped out of the trance when he realizes you're watching him. He sticks out his tongue to pull a silly face and you shake your head in disbelief. 

A finger traces up your spine before it turns into his palm pushing down between your shoulder blades so your cheek is pressed into the pillows. You can just feel the heavy heat of his cock but he pulls away before you can savor it for too long. A constant tease that leaves you whining again in frustration and wiggling your hips enticingly, a futile effort. 

"I know you're desperate. 'm sorry, don't wanna cum too fast and disappoint you though." 

"You won't disappoint me." 

"Nope, I'll make it worthwhile. Promise. We can do whatever positions you want after this. I'd like to see you riding me like you do in my dreams, personally." Watching how you clench at his words, he chuckles. "Knew you'd like that too. Now, let's see…" 

He slips a digit inside your hole muttering, "There we go," and adds another. And another. Three fingers explore your gummy inner walls and he hums in contemplating tones before he begins scissoring motions to get your pussy to further open up. 

Your moans are muffled by the bed and Seokmin simply increases his pace to make them louder with a sneer of satisfaction you don't see. You do feel him kissing down the length of your spine, more love bites that make you squeal at each pinch. 

"So cute and perfect. What 'm I gonna do with you?" he asks and pretends to understand the unintelligible garble to his rhetorical question. "Yeah, that's right, babe. Fuck you even more stupid than you are now 'cause it's what you deserve." 

Retracting his fingers, licking them clean, and mumbling how pretty you are — then he's finally wrapping a veined hand around his even veinier cock to tease at your entrance. 

He plays with your wetness, coating his tip with it and making both your mouth and pussy drool. And god, does Seokmin relish the vision before him. 

You're everything to him and that thought alone makes him bite down on his lower lip, a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead. He doesn't want to fuck this up. Every muscle in his body tenses when he takes a deep breath and eases himself inside, enraptured with the way your soft pussy lips part and cling around his length to welcome him. 

When he glances up to check how you're doing, he has to reign himself back from exploding or thrusting insensitively all the way in. The way your eyes roll up, a stain of drool left on his blanket, and the feeble thank you's followed by a filthy series of moans — he lets out a string of curses that would make even a depraved whore blush out of shyness. 

"S'big, s'full," you hiccup, clenching and unclenching in rapid successions that has Seokmin wheezing, though he tries to comfort you. 

"'m not even all the way inside, sweetheart. Bear with me, babe. Breathe. I've got you." 

"Got me… hella fuckin' full."

"You can take it. I know you can." He pushes his hips forward a bit more. "There you go, sweetheart. Relax just a tiny bit… Yeah, that's it…" 

Praises fall from his lips and you sob at both the goddamn stretch and unfathomable pleasure. You already feel him buried in your gut reaching spots you didn't even know existed by the time he's almost bottomed out for his pelvis to press temptingly against your ass — you're pretty sure you can feel him in your lungs at this point.

"S'deep…!" 

"Feel so fucking good… d'ya need me to pull out a little, baby? You still with me?" 

You answer him by bravely using whatever strength — or more like the urge for him to split you open and take it all because you want to be as good as he's telling you that you are for him — and push yourself back so he's fully seated within your tight cunt. 

You're probably screaming if your raspy throat and ringing ears are anything to go by. He's panting and rubbing his forehead with a groan. 

"Fuck, what are you so hot for?" 

The air feels like it's been punched out of his lungs, the same way his cock is being suctioned and squeezed. In an effort to wrangle whatever control is left within himself, Seokmin focuses on your body and how it reacts. Laying over your arched back to press your bare bodies close together in an intimate fashion. 

You can feel his necklace and its cool touch on your burning skin. The recollection of never seeing him without it since gifting it to him reignites a possessive streak in you and has your pussy pulsing around him more fervently. Suddenly you long to have his mark engraved on you permanently, etched into your body and soul just like the inanimate object. 

It's almost a shame when he pauses to tug it free so it doesn't break and let it hang over your shoulder instead. Not that it matters much, for you'd only have a temporary imprint of a dog tag shape on your back. 

As if he can read your muddled mind (he probably can), Seokmin makes up for it in his concentration to delay his dizzy cloud of absolute unbridled lust. He's already left many physical reminders of his touch where you'll definitely be sore later scattered around your body and as a bonus — bites down where your neck meets your shoulder. 

(You have no idea how you'll explain the obvious teeth marks to your friends the next day but you know they'll know. Especially when Seokmin — the little shit that he is — shamelessly shows off the various marks you'll leave all over him later tonight.)

But you don't think about that right now, any and all thoughts consumed of him, him, and him. You're full. So full. Oh, how you ache to run your fingers across his gorgeous body the same way he's able to yours, sneaking a hand underneath to fondle at your breasts and tug at your nipples. You suppose that can wait, already inching toward another crashing orgasm when he's unable to stay still anymore and starts shallow, cautious thrusts.

"Mm, ah, 'min… Seok… min… "

"'m here baby, you're gonna cum for me already, aren't ya?" He pulls his dick out far enough to see the way your essence glistens and coats his length and then smoothly stuffs you full again. "Go on and cream on my cock, make me yours."

Shockingly you shake your head. "No, too soon!"

"S'kay, I know you can give me another one after. If you let go now, it'll feel even better after. You're still so tight, I can barely move."

You really can't believe you're about to climax so soon again. There's not really a choice to hold it off anyways, especially when his hand moves away from your tits and mercilessly rubs your clit. He could've just fucked your throat raw with how hoarse your voice is now with all the sounds he's drawn out of you.

As you recover from the fuzziness of a second orgasm, he'd taken out his cock that's basically gone numb at this point (he's not sure if that's a good thing or not), and appreciates the delectable view of how your hole has been stretched out perfectly in the shape of his cock to accommodate him so sweetly. It all screams I am Seokmin's and he fucking adores it. And you.

There's only one thing left to do. Paint you with the color white.

"You ready for me?" 

You breathlessly huff out a yes but honestly, you're unsure if you will be able to handle another peak without passing out. Seokmin soothes you, whispering that this will be the last one for this round accompanied by two chaste kisses on each of your shoulder blades. So wonderful and perfect, he reminds and suddenly you can do anything he asked of you.

Which is good because he's finally snapping his hips hard and fast with better ability, drilling into your warm, wet pussy he calls his that confirms that ownership itself with filthy noises of agreement and gushes of more arousal. You moan out a mix of yes, yours, and his name — growing so fucked out that when he asks you where you want him to cum, all you do is feebly bounce your asscheeks against his abs when he refuses to move.

"Shit, you gotta tell me now or I'll… fuck, I'll do it inside. I-I know you're on the pill but… "

"Please…"

"You'd look pretty with it all over your back but also spilling out of your pussy… "

"If you don't cum right now anywhere… I'll cry."

"You're already crying." His thumb brushes at the trail of tears that spilled over your eyelids.

"Seokmin…!"

"'m sorry, let me give you what you want."

His hips resume slamming at a rapid pace, hitting deep within that magic bundle of nerves without fail. Stars swim in your vision and the mind-numbing pressure twisting in your lower gut builds up without warning.

It's a silent scream this time and a peak that doesn't seem to end. As your body violently shudders and shakes for what feels like hours at its intensity, Seokmin's release is triggered. Gently thrusting as you spasm around him, milking his cock as it starts to fill you up with a comforting warmth. In a daze, he's forced out by the end of your explosive orgasm and watches with a slack jaw in awe.

He's managed to leave beautiful lines of white across your ass and back as intended. Though the bit he'd left inside of you is mostly expelled by you squirting and coating his thighs with your release, if he looks close enough, there are still globs of cream left around the outer lips of your cunt that has him groaning.

"This is better than what I've dreamt about."

"Of course. Real thing is always better."

"In this case, yes." 

"… Do you still think I'm sweet?"

"… Somehow, yes."

Seokmin laughs as you collapse flat against the bed. You need to clean up but both of you can afford to rest a little first. He lays down next to you on his side, bringing you into his arms and you immediately snuggle your face into his chest before fixing him with a serious gaze.

"I don't get it."

He stiffens in fear. "Wh-what?"

"You fucked your previous partners, right?"

"Um… most… of them… "

"Like this?"

"Uh… " he narrows his eyes. "What… what do you mean?"

"There's no way they would've wanted to let you go if you got a stroke game and stamina this good. Unless you were just too much of a beast in the sheets — which I could understand."

His arms tighten around you. "I'm sorry, did I go too hard on you? I just didn't wanna cum too fast."

"No, you're insane but it was… incredible. You're the unreal one here."

"Didn't expect that when you harassed me about my abs, huh?"

"I did not harass you and of course not, did you?"

"No, but… I'm glad it did. You… don't…  you don't regret it, do you?"

"No, why would I?" He breathes out a tiny sigh of relief which has you raising an eyebrow but you continue on. "I don't get why they didn't try harder to stick around. I mean you're perfect. In all aspects. I one-hundred-percent mean that."

"They weren't you, though. I'm sincere when I say you've always been the one. I was just afraid…" 

"You're a damn good actor, you know that. I had no idea."

Your favorite smile beams at you. "I did major in theater. And we're both kinda idiots."

You slap at his chest playfully and he covers your hand with his. "I like you too, you know that? Like really mean it when I say I do. Even if you just obliterated my fucking vagina out of existence."

"There's no way, I most certainly did not." He kisses your forehead. "'cause you still have to ride me like promised."

"I don't think I'll be able to."

Your eyes close, ignoring Seokmin's gasp of shock and protests about cleaning up. He can tell you're pretty exhausted and acquiesces, shifting you into a position more comfortable for you to be able to doze off for a bit.

But you take that opportunity to spring to life, sucking the nastiest hickey on his neck right above his silver chain. One that will take weeks to heal. He lets out a moan as you do it and when you back away, the atmosphere has heated up again.

"You're giving me a hard time," he points out with an eyebrow wiggle and you giggle. 

Urging him to roll over, you lug your aching limbs up and over so you can straddle his upper body. Adding more and more love marks and bites on his chest, neck, and arms. It's your turn to stake a hushed claim of mine whispered into his ears that you nip at. And he giggles, loving the attention you're showering him with.

His cock is stirring to life under your ministrations as is another pool of arousal swirling in your gut. Despite the hiss of oversensitivity and slight pain you both feel, you ease his length back inside. Nearly crying out because this new angle means he's stuffed in you even more, you don't know if he can fit until you're gasping in relief once you're successful.

He tentatively brushes his fingers against the bulge that appears in your lower tummy, wanton moans erupting from both of you at the gesture. It sends chills down your spine and you shiver.

"Gonna have to help me move, dunno if I have enough strength to make your dreams come true."

"S'kay, we have forever to act them out again and again," he reassures you which erases your pout. "You'll get used to me with enough practice."

"You think so?"

"Well, we can only test that theory to make sure."

You giggle as he pulls you in for a tender kiss by the back of your neck. "You're naughtier than I could've ever imagined."

"But you love it. You love me." His smug look only grows at your agreeing hum and when he flexes his abs. "Now, shall we see if all the work I put into my abs is worth it, babe?"

onlyseokmins: February 2023 ©

Taglist: @joshibambi @junhui-recs @pandorashbox @rubyscoups @woozluv @darlingvernon @charcharfairy @httpswonwoosglasses @yeosayang @buffhoshi @horanghae8star @noraehey @misssugarlips @tinkerbell460 @aceofvernons @dejavernon

[drdemonprince]

can i ask for some sex advice? im a bisexual trans guy, i’ve been with cis women and had hookups with a cis guy where he just went down on me. i’m generally attracted to all genders, but sexually i find myself turned off/repulsed by penises and cum so i’ve only pursued hookups with ppl with vulvas (so far cis women and other ftms) or situations where i don’t have to interact with the penis. totally fine with trans women and femmes who are post-op, etc. i’ve just been worried that i’m gross/transphobic/a chaser? even though im bi i feel like a shitty person for not being into dick.

Hey, thanks for the question. I think it is a good thing to be asking oneself. I think that even if you were to conclude that your attitudes were transphobic, I don't think the solution would be pushing yourself to have sex you didn't want to have or trying to force yourself to "get over" the associations that you have. That won't work, and it's not your fault for having them. What matters is how we treat people, not what fleeting thoughts and emotions we might have privately, which is part of why it is so annoying for cis people to act as if they are persecuted for having a "genital preference" or whatever. The problem isn't their feelings. It's their exclusionary, cruel, often violent actions and the words they express publicly.

I think it's worth contemplating that many trans femme people have absolutely no desire to use their penises during sex, or can't because of various medical issues, and do not produce cum that looks anything like the way most cis men produce cum. How would you feel about a trans woman who does have a penis using a strap-on on you? About you two fisting each other? About you using a hitachi magic wand on her? How do you feel when you see a trans guy with a post-phalloplasty cock? Try to reflect on questions like these with curiosity and not judgement.

Maybe you will explore your feelings and find that there are still barriers; maybe for example you wouldn't feel comfortable going down on someone's penis, but would be happy to be fucked with a strap-on by someone who has a penis, or to fuck them. That's okay. Lots of trans women want exactly that kind of sexual encounter anyway. And lots more are open minded and recognize that T4T sex is experimental and free-floating and doesn't have to involve any specific sex acts. Negotiating these things should be done delicately and respectfully, but it is always fine to say "I don't do [xyz]" or "I don't want to do xyz right now."

I relate more to your question that you might know, albeit from a different direction. I have a lot of dysphoria about having a vagina; though PIV can feel good, what I most picture myself as having in my mind's eye is nothing at all between my legs. I hate receiving oral, as I've talked about a lot, but I'm also dysphoric about and disturbed by giving oral to a person with a vagina. I have also experienced a lot of sexual trauma that involved a (typically cis male) partner forcing or pressuring me to have sex with cis women. That's happened to me many times over the course of my life. It's also made facing any pressure whatsoever to have sex with women (either cis or trans) deeply triggering and upsetting to me.

All of my own personal hang-ups and traumas have left me feeling funnily very much like that one line from Saltburn, "Women are too wet. Men are so lovely and dry."

I do get into my head about it being super transphobic of me sometimes. But I have also had fun, carefree, experimental, gratifying, hot sex with trans men with vaginas. I might not be able to eat them out, but there's lots I can do. I can finger them, put my hands in them, eat their asshole, take their strap, suck their strap-on, kiss them, fondle them, play with their nipples, be fucked alongside them, writhe atop a single hitachi together with them, slap their ass, put a dildo in them, whatever. I just don't want to eat them out or have them eat me out, for the most part.

It would be highly understandable if a trans guy felt invalidated by my feeling that way or didn't want to have sex with me given those limits. that's fine. I understand this stuff is fraught and sucks sometimes. I don't talk about my feelings around this topic publicly often because it is so contentious and I don't want feelings to be hurt. But in my heart I'm comfortable with where I am at. I know which limits I have that seem immovable and I don't really want to push them ever again. Having those limits pushed is what traumatized me. At the same time, I know it's not connected in any way to seeing trans men as lesser than cis men, or as less attractive, and I know it's not a barrier to me having sex with trans men if the moment and our interests both align. I'm not a bad person for feeling this way. It's actually really hard to be trans and to be wired this way. But I'm doing the best I can with it to both grow, and not be an asshole, and also to find fulfillment.

[dairy-farmer]

Pretty sure I'm the anon who sent the 'Tim wearing people's merch and sometimes fucking that same person while doing it' ask awhile back. (I say pretty sure because, while I have started keeping track of the things I sent you when I started sending you a lot, I didn't at that point and Tumblr doesn't keep track of anonymous asks you send apparently 😑. But it definitely looks like my writing style and lt felt familiar when I saw it. If it was actually someone else's all I can say is Ope.)

Anyway!

Tim also uses the wearing of merch to signal his displeasure with certain family members i.e. by very pointedly not wearing their things. This punishment only works because his family is a bunch of creepers who have cameras and microphones in his bedroom (just for security! They definitely don't use it to watch Tim sleep or masturbate or fuck! Why would you ask that? Shut up! What were you doing at the devil's sacrament, Goodie Proctor?!) So of course this means that someone is usually watching Tim get dressed and luckily the bats gossip like old women so whoever is watching on at a given time will immediately share important things with everyone else.

Well, if you made Tim upset recently? It's not just that he won't wear your merch, oh no no - it's not as if Tim only wears the merch of someone he's particularly happy with or interested in on a given day, sometimes he just really wants to wear his Impulse t-shirt! No instead, to make sure his displeasure is known and that it's clear he isn't just wearing someone else's merch, but specifically not wearing yours, Tim will make a show of not choosing someone's stuff.

Bruce being particularly stubborn and not listening to Tim's advice? Tim holds up a pair of Batman pajama pants and turns his head dismissively while dropping them back into the drawer. Jason insults his choice on family movie night? Tim takes his Red Hood hoodie and pointedly drops it in the dirty laundry basket, even though he didn't wear it recently. Damian is being particularly rude lately? His Robin 4 novelty watch is shown to the cameras and deliberately put in the back a drawer. Dick won't stop smothering him after a very minor injury (I literally just sprained my ankle, Dick, I didn't break a leg 😑)? Takes his favorite Nightwing blanket off his bed and just kicks it into a corner before pointedly putting his newest Signal blanket down instead.

It's honestly a great system, because it means Tim can show he's upset with someone without *shudder* talking about his feelings, and it doesn't even take any real effort - no shouting or arguing or cold shoulders! And to show when he's forgiven the person he's annoyed with without 'rewarding' them by wearing their things immediately (yes, I am no longer mad at you. But you haven't done anything to earn me wearing your things again)? He will drink his coffee out of your themed mug (most of his mugs are novelty ones with silly little phrases, and he only uses the hero themed ones for this reason specifically).

One day, he is just so very pissed at everyone - mission went off the rails because they didn't listen to his plan or there was a big family event planned but everyone canceled or something- that he comes down to breakfast already dressed in a suit, even though he doesn't have any WE business that day. (This causes mixed feelings in everyone because, while it sucks that Tim is upset with everyone, he looks really really hot in that suit and since he never wears them outside of business meetings and galas, it has a similar effect on them that seeing Tim in, like, lingerie would. Honestly, that probably does make it an even better punishment because Tim looks extra hot today but definitely isn't going to fuck any of them anytime soon: Tim may be a slut, but he's also petty and stubborn ❤️)

tim punishing anyone who makes him angry by making a point to NOT wear their merch and when they all manage to piss him off refusing to wear anything but his suit which he KNOWs they all love seeing him in so he's punishing them twice as much- first by not wearing their merch and then by wearing his suit❤️

[r0-boat]

I read the Sitri NSFW alphabet

Lost my mind

Could you possibly do Eligos, Belphie, or Beleth? I’ll let you choose which one

🦩 anon

I'm very intrested in a Beleth alphabet so I'll do that one!

Beleth NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

This man is rough and harsh and usually he doesn't do aftercare since he's already almost falling asleep. But you are the exception, it's been a long time since he actually cared about the people he's bed with. So, of course, he will hold you close and make you feel loved after he fucks you so hard that you are sore.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He doesn't have a favorite body part on him, he likes his body like any other demon would.

He likes your your cheat.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

His cum must be on you on you or inside of you That's word belongs. He doesn't want it to go to waste He loves filling that throat of yours as well.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Beleth wants to have a threesome with you and Belphie. He would love to have his two favorite people on top of him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

This man is a sex god. As close as you can get to Asmodeus, In fact I think the king of lust himself would be intrigued by how much he knows. He only acts like he doesn't know because he wants to watch how you pleasure him. With a smirk he will even guide you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy style and cowgirl. He likes to give the illusion that you have control. He wants to make you forget that he can grab you and, with his strength fuck you onto himself like a toy. Doggy is his go-to. He is seeing your ass bounce against him while he runs into you like an animal is so hot.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Yes sex is supposed to be a way to make you feel good, and relaxed and if you feel more relaxed when you're happy smiling and goofing off then so be it. Sure you won't mind if he goofs off as well.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Very well-groomed, neat and tidy He likes to keep clean for anyone that happens to be in his bed at that time.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

No romance, unless you count dragging you to the bedroom with one hand around your throat does romance. If he wants you the most romantic thing he'll do is wrap his arms around you and grind himself against you to show you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Does not masturbate, He rather just have sex.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He likes to be in control however in a more caregiving role. Like daddy kink, being called sir is fine but it doesn't give him the amount of pleasure that Daddy does. Though sometimes he does get into those moods where he wants full control like bdsm.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He will do it anywhere, bed, alleyway, bathroom, a king's bedroom. As long as You're right there He will take you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Being a brat and not listening to him that's usually what gets him excited, any back talk as well. If he says "Oh ya?" In a playful tone you got him now time for your hole to get destroyed.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He doesn't like being interrupted, His time with you it's his time with you, perhaps it's more of a possessive thing, He only gets possessive like this during sex.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He likes giving, But he likes demanding you to give it to him. Putting his big demon cock in front of your mouth and demanding you suck at for him. And of course he will return the favor gladly

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast deep and rough hitting every spot to make your toes curl, making you come over and over on his cock in a short amount of time. Fucking you like an animal making you claw anything you can get your hands on only to mockingly coo at your screams and cries.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Fucking loves them, obsessed with them quickies all throughout the day if he can't have you yet. Doesn't care if he has a meeting with Satan in 10 minutes. He will bend you over the nearest counter and fuck you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Fucking loves risks. The riskiest thing he has done is plow your hole while Belphegor slept right next to you. He needed you now so he ripped off your clothes put a hand over your mouth and fucked you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

If he really wants to, he could last for hours. But he uses it to sleep, so enough to make him cum once Fucking you raw is like going on a leisure walk to him.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

With him you won't need toys, But he will let you use it. He likes to slam a dildo inside you and watch you take it, or press a vibrator against you. Or perhaps use a plug and stretch your ass out for him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

If he's free he'll have you in bed all day, He will use a toy to keep you on the edge for him until he comes home. He could tease you forever. Tease you till you break and then give you what you want finally. He wants to break you so desperately Make sure you follow him.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Talkative but not loud. When he isn't usually grunting and moaning He's praising you for how well you're taking him, He can't help but tell you how good you're doing or how tiny you are or how well you take him. How you feel so much tighter than his other fucks, how gorgeous you are how much he is eager to mess you up.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He does not mind taking control of an entire country However with you he loves having control over you. He gets off to it as an angel he thinks about his life and chastity and he frequently thinks about putting you in Chastity and only letting you out to fuck him. Making you become his personal fuck toy.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Huge and thick cock uncut and veiny thick breeder balls.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

anytime anywhere have him on speed dial.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

After he has his fill he falls asleep pretty fast, However when he doesn't fuck you he cannot sleep it drives him crazy no matter how much he touches himself he cannot cum without you.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

Hey. This might be very stupid, but i hope you answer this.

Today I accidently got sucked into your blog, which is ironic since I'm a huge swiftie. (but I'm not here to hate on you, I swear)

The thing is for months I've been doubting where I stand on that. Like if i should call myself a swifte or not. when I was young, I used to worship the ground she walked on. but in the past year, I've slowly realised I've been very sheltered. like the problems people point out about her sometimes are actual real problems, but my brain just doesn't know how to respond to that as it has been taught taylor swift is a goddess and can do no wrong. Since your posts are tagged with #exswiftie, i figure you'd understand.

I am not from america, so I can understand then politics part of it all only to a certian extend. the other things, I just dont know what to say to that. The most i can reply is..."yes that is a bit of a problem". I feel don't feel like a swiftie at that moment.

I had fed my mind this narrative that people who hate taylor swift passionately are like untrustworthy or just a walking red flag, or just "don't get it". Now after reading your actual breakdowns I understand you have a rather educated opinion and perception of things. Which clearly rules out my narrative.

I don't know what I feel like I have to define where I stand on this, I just do. I know I genuinely enjoy her music a lot, even there are songs I don't want to hear more than once. I love the whole swiftie lore, digging deep on each lyrics finding out what they mean, finding clues easter eggs just losing my mind over surprise songs. Then i see this other side, which can't be defined with anything less than deeply toxic, which makes me question whether or not this thing i love so much is genuinely good or not.

Hello dear, apologies for the delay in reply :) I am happy to chat with you. I hope that you did not think I would ignore you.  

I was also a Swiftie for nearly 15 years. I got her debut record as a Christmas present in 2006 or 2007. Though I cannot remember which year it was, I loved her from the start. At 10 years old, I was immediately interested. My mother approved of me owning her music simply because she was inoffensive. She didn’t curse or talk about sex, in the beginning, so she was deemed appropriated for my childhood self.  She and I have since grown up. She is now a terribly pretentious bully- and, well, I grew up much too poor and much too hungry to turn into a bully like her. 

The problem- and something I think you’re very much aware of- is that Swift has built herself up in her fandom as perfect. She encourages fans to defend her every action- and rewards them for their efforts through “Swiftmas” or “Secret Sessions” or “hidden easter eggs that only the smartest- most dedicated fans will figure out.” It’s all methodically calculated to keep up an air of reciprocity between Swift, as the fearless leader, and her band of merry misfits- the fans.  

You are not dumb for falling into her rhetorical situation - she's set the marketing strategy up on purpose. It’s specifically created to attract attention- and, to make people feel good, or productive, by participating in her marketing strategy. She gives people an image of herself as a poor innocent victim of the media, or of any critique, and then rewards people for defending her. In Literary study, we call this “Pathos” as the rhetorical appeal to emotion through messaging- textual work of some kind. Rhetoric like this can be found in all sorts of media- commercials about starving children or beaten dogs, charity event banners aiming to persuade someone to donate. It’s all predicated on the appeal to our common emotion, or human capacity to empathize with each other. For, every time fans are rewarded by her attention- after defending her from a perceived enemy, or figuring out some hidden clue- they feel closer to the idol, they feel happy to have her attention. They get that emotional impact of believing they are helping Taylor Swift, or understanding her better on some more human, connected, level. It’s a game of risk and reward for her. Never mind that none of this altruistic- she gets paid through our attention on her- and if you are not directly lining her pockets with your cash money, she does not actually care about you. It’s the image of caring she projects that matters much more than the fact that she doesn’t actually care.

I’m sure you can think of many more examples wherein Swift has played this game of attention and reward with fans. It’s everywhere- her easter eggs are a great example. Sometimes her use of Pathos is benign- non malicious, therefore a non-issue. However, she often weaponizes this rhetoric in a way that is harmful.

This interplay she sets up, between herself and her fans, is made more intensive through her pathos- heavy approach to Rhetoric. To further illustrate, one of the ways people often explain Pathos is by saying that it represents our, as human beings, judgement affect. We see, or hear, the narrative Swift espouses and make judgements about it. If she says: The music critics are sexist towards me. We say: 1.) Sexism is morally wrong, 2.) Taylor Swift is facing sexism from Music critics, Therefore.) The music critics are sexist and morally wrong, because they are criticizing Taylor Swift.

So, all the critics are bad- and we don't need to listen to them. It's also a way Swift creates permissive attitudes towards attacking anyone who critique's her- because she can so easily label them all as sexist.

She uses this basic syllogism to justify leveraging her fans against all kinds of people- it's not just the critics. I just wanted to give a concrete example, and I will go more in depth on this subject in another post.  

She is playing with people’s emotions, while she is also self-victimizing,and leveraging her audience’s innate human rejection of, for instance, sexism as it offends our personal values. No one is saying that sexism isn't morally corrupt; however, Taylor Swift points to valid criticism and calls it sexism so that her audience will attack. People often have valid critique of Swift- She just doesn't want to face critique at all- ever. If people say her music is too self-centered- Swift says that is Sexism. If people say her music is boring- she calls it sexism. If people say her music is shallow and only centered are relationships- She calls it sexism. When, in reality, it's valid criticism that has nothing to do with her being a woman. Only ever writing songs about your own myopic, self-centered perception of interpersonal relationships is shallow. Her music is objectively boring, because it's derivative. Her music is completely self-centered- and she only admits to that when it benefits her, but when critics say it, she calls it sexism.

Please don’t think badly of yourself. I am not here to hate on you either- I was you. I am not here to hate on anyone at all- I just want to share how my own knowledge, and expertise, of rhetorical appeals and literary analysis can expose Taylor Swift. Swift relies on this rhetorical technique to thrive, she obfuscates the truth, schemes, and manipulates people into thinking her music is the best thing on Earth- or thinking that she is literally a Saint. Clearly- nothing on Earth is that perfect- So why does she need her fan base to consider her a genius, and a saint, so badly?

Personally, I have no problem admitting I have flaws. I think most sane people can admit to their flaws. It’s not a bad thing to have flaws. So why does Taylor Swift react to all criticism like it’s the worst thing on Earth. Why does she have a whole song about calling critics “mean/ and a liar/ and pathetic/ and alone in life” (“Mean” 2010). She has the nerve to call that song an “anti-bullying” song; yet, is it so clearly bullying that random critic who wrote a bad review about her concert one time in 2009? She really hated that guy- and all he was doing was his job. She called him a drunken loser for just doing his job. 

She's written so many songs about how all her critics are just stupid, morally corrupt, or sexist: "The Man" (2019), "Mean" (2010), "But Daddy I love Him" (2024), "New Romantics" (2014), "Shake it Off" (2014), "I know Places" (2014), "Anti-Hero" (2023), "Paris" (2023), "Blank Space" (2014), "I did something Bad" (2018), "Dancing with our hands tied" (2018). There are more songs wherein she carries this theme of "everyone is out to get me, and they all hate me for no good reason" but I think I've listed enough.

The general message is all over "Evermore" and "Folklore" too every time she calls the general public "Clowns" or "masqueraders"

It's just everywhere- her subtle devaluation of legitimate criticism. Trying to chalk it all up to the critics being simply dumb, sexist, or malicious in some way. Perhaps some people are mean- true- but to generalize every criticism as evil? That's just her actually playing a victim card. There's no way every single critic, or person who doesn't like her, is evil, bad, or malicious in some way. Okay?

I���m tired of her claiming to be an amazing person and an amazing poet- when she is just not either of those things. She’s not a kind person- it's all over her music in the ways she maliciously hurts people for fun. She’s not an amazing poet either. I have a few college degrees- and one pass through her work, with a serious intention of literary analysis, I discover that her writing is plain, banal, and derivative. 

She wants everyone to compare her to Emily Dickinson, Dylan Thomas, and Shakespeare. So, I’m doing what she wants and taking her work seriously enough to critique it. Except that, in critique, I find out why it’s all poorly written- and why it’s just a bunch of thinly veiled conservative iterations of the same boring message over and over. All she ever says in her music is “poor me” and “I hate” (insert person- Kim K., Kanye, Matty, Joe, Jake, John, Scooter, Scott, Harry, Calvin, the media at large, anyone who critiques her, and men in the music industry as a whole). She has the longest list of enemies I think I’ve ever seen- and the funny thing is that all these people avoid her at all costs. None of these people talk about her- yet she is still singing, writing songs, and getting her fans to post memes about how awful they are years, even decades, later.  

It all gets a bit tiresome? No? Personally, I don’t wish to live a life full of such self-pity and hatred- so why should I listen to it in music form? Ya know?  

In my posts, I am attempting to find the truth. I don’t want to “hate” on anyone or anything- but I am going to seek truth in her work.  

I will be posting more about how she devoids Shakespeare of his social reformist efforts. I’m going to post more about how she twists the meaning of every literary reference she’s ever made. I am not kidding, she has misrepresented, and misinterpreted every single literary reference in her entire discography. It’s astounding how hard Swift tries to sound thoughtful- without actually being thoughtful. I will be posting about how she only ever name-drops to either tear other people down or self-depreciate herself in effort to seek pity. I will be talking more about her use of rhetorical appeals to both attract an audience, keep their attention through risk-reward trade-off, and manipulate them into fighting her battles for her. I will be talking about how she upholds a bunch of harmful stereotypes in her music. She often alludes, or blatantly includes allusion to colonialist attitudes. She’s used the LGBT community for profit without making any real activist efforts. She’s leveraged feminism like a weapon against other women- yet never actually has feminist themes in her music. She’s just so painfully hollow- upon closer inspection.  

I don’t hate her as a person. I think she’s unethical, sure, but that doesn’t mean I hate her, want her to die, or anything extreme at all. I would never wish harm to another human being. In fact, after seeing a lot of the harmful stuff in her music, especially about her kind of fucked up views on relationships, I sincerely hope she gets some professional help and finds some peace in this world. When I critique Taylor Swift it’s about her work and her brand- It's not about her personhood.  

I just think that no one Earth is above reproach, or critique, and we must all be held accountable for our own actions. She’s the one that puts her work out there for people- It's therefore completely appropriate for me to discuss her work. 

Edit: Oh and I want to add- I wish you luck in figuring out what you really think about Taylor Swift. If you ever need to talk or vent more- my inbox is always open. :) With peace and love- bye bye

[aphrodisiac-siren]

Home~ Neteyam x Metkayina!reader

Summary: Leaving behind everything he knew was hard for Neteyam and then adapting to the ways of the new clan was even harder. He'd push himself, overwork and exhaust himself even, to live upto his family's expectations; never really giving his own wants a second thought. That's why Y/N was the prefect companion for him, someone who kept things in his life balanced, who made sure to let him know that what he wanted was just as important, perhaps even more so, than what everyone else wanted of him.

//slow burn, cute Neytiri and Y/N bonding moment plus Lo'ak being a menace and HEAVY ANGST//

masterlist, Part 3

Part 2

🫧

The previous couple of days seemed to be the most fun Y/N had had in a while. She and her siblings spent almost all their time with the Sully kids, teaching them all that they needed to know to survive out here with the reef people. It was refreshing to have a break from her own lessons of healing and hunting and granted that the forest Na'vi were taking their time with adapting to the new place, it was still enjoyable nevertheless to be around them.

Aonung was still hostile, refusing to give the kids a break for even a slight mistake, with the exception of Tuk. He seemed fond of her, on some occasions treating her just like how he treated his own sisters but he was too proud to admit that he'd grown a soft spot for the little one.

Out of the whole lot, Y/N had to concede that Kiri was the fastest learner. It was impressive really how much of a natural she was. Though Y/N also made a note that Neteyam was the more ardent learner. She'd catch him practicing their sign language by himself when the others played on the beach or he'd work on his diving whilst his sisters picked sea shells. She once even saw him trying to teach his Ikran sign language whilst everyone was enjoying dinner.

"Thank-you" he said aloud as he slowly signed, so that the animal could register the gesture "this means thank-you"

As promised, in between lessons, Neteyam would treat her to some random pieces of information he'd learned from his dad about the sky people. He taught her a few words and phrases, being as patient with her as she was with him. There were times when even Lo'ak butted in, trying to have his two seconds of fame as well.

"Not to brag or anything, but I used to visit the sky-people’s camp like all the time" he flexed, grinning like an idiot who'd just won a prize "Oh teach her how to say 'suck my dick' bro"

"S-suck my-"

"NO!" Neteyam practically jumped. The last thing he wanted was to get in trouble for teaching the chief's daughter vulgar profanities "Lo'ak you skxawng! Go away"

In conclusion, the Sullys were an absolute joy to have around.

"You spend too much time with them" Aonung spoke coldly, pulling his sister out of her train of thought. He merely tolerated those kids out of obligation and because of his status as the chief's son. Beyond that, he didn’t give two fucks about them "even Tsireya isn’t tailing after them outside of lessons"

"Tailing after?" Y/N raised a brow, not to happy with the tone her brother was using "I'm sorry, why is me hanging out with them a problem again?"

"They don’t belong here" he said slowly, as if by doing so she'd grasp what he was saying and agree "ever since their arrival, we've been forced to baby them and teach them things we did effortlessly at the age of ten. You and I both haven’t had a day to ourselves to do our training much less relax"

"Those kids are doing their best" Y/N sighed, unsure why it was always her who had to deal with her brother's whining "you can tell they’re trying their hardest' they really want to learn-"

"Well their best isn’t good enough" He snapped, Y/N rolling her eyes at his outburst "I want them to go back"

"Shut up Aonung, don’t be such an asshole" she huffed, using an english insult that Lo'ak taught her and Neteyam begged never to say.

"What?" Aonung looked at her like she said something in gibberish, which to him was what the entirety of the english language would probably sound like.

"Nothing"

"Whatever, look at this" the boy struck a pose to flex his biceps, looking at his arms proudly. Y/N rolled her eyes at his antics. It was a bit funny how the conversation was abruptly halted just because Aonung wanted to flex his muscles. Brothers.

Not wanting to stick around for him to go back to his previous argument once he'd finished admiring himself, she left him to fond over himself and went to go take a walk somewhere away from the beach at which they were.

"Where you going?" he called out to her, smile dropping

"Away from you" she said over her shoulder, brushing the sand off her thighs.

"Why? I wasn’t done talking"

"Exactly why I'm going"

Not having much to do until later in the day, when she'd teach some weaving with her father, she decided to go help feed the Ikran.

They usually stayed near the far end of the village, occasionally vanishing for a few hours just to fly around. The clan's people brought them baskets of fish and sometimes fruit to keep them well fed and less cranky.

Y/N hummed to herself whilst carrying the basket that held their food. It was kept in a little shack at a distance from the Ikran. She was curious as to why there wasn’t anyone there at the time, this was usually when someone went to go feed them anyway. Not really caring much, she happily skipped toward them, slightly content that she could admire the creatures alone.

Her enthusiasm died down however, when she rounded the corner and saw Neytiri already there with a similar basket of fish beside her.

Y/N’s chirpy humming had the woman turning around, silently eyeing the girl from up to down.

"Hi" she meekly greeted, awkwardly hugging the basked like it was the only source of comfort she had at the moment "I came to feed them"

"Seze doesn’t like being fed" Neytiri flatly said, quickly glancing at the Ikran to her right who was busy digging into the basket. The other bird-like creatures were curled up for a nap, probably already done with their meal.

"Is that yours?" Y/N put down the basket in defeat, a bit disappointed she couldn’t stick around with the foreign animals.

Neytiri paused to study her some more. Y/N was a sweet girl by nature, her daughter Tuk never failed to mention that to her. She was patient and very smart, very proficient too. Despite her timid voice, she presented herself quite well, shoulders rarely ever hunched and chin up. She was curious little thing, that much was very conspicuous about her; always eager to learn or delve into anything new.

"Come" she beckoned for the younger girl who approached without a word, still holding on to the basket "put that down, Seze will only eat if it’s not directly being fed, she hates being babied"

"Sounds like my brother" Y/N mumbled as she did what Neytiri told, earning a brief grin from the woman. She took a step back and watched as the Ikran dived hungrily into the second basket of fish, despite not finishing the first one "eats like him too... don’t tell anyone I said that"

Neytiri's phlegmatic exterior melted away, laughter replacing her somber expression. Y/N was just humorous as she was diligent, an adorable little thing the older woman found her.

"Did you catch the fish yourself?" she asked, tone much more gentle and motherly now, which visibly seemed to put the younger Na'vi at ease.

"N-no" Y/N responded but quickly opened her mouth to futher justify her answer, as if she felt the need to provide an explanation so as to not be underestimated by Neytiri "but I am good at spearfishing, I've caught plenty of fish you know"

"Ah. But I must confess, catching fish with my arrows is much more easier than these spears you use" She told her and watched the girl's face contour into a look of confusion which she quickly masked with a polite smile, just nodding in agreement "you haven’t trained with a bow and arrow?"

Y/N only nodded a 'no'

"Hm," Neytiri hummed "I will see you little while before eclipse near the southern side of the reef, I hope you don’t mind using Lo'ak's bow while you learn"

Y/N's face lit up to a point where Neytiri was expecting for her whole head to just start glowing like the sun any moment.

"You'll teach me?" she excitedly asked, voice a pitch higher than usual "really?"

Neytiri only chuckled adoringly at her ardor to learn and responded by just ruffling her hair.

___

Y/N felt like she had conquered all of Pandora by securing a lesson with Neytiri.

She happily skipped to the beach to find her sister Tsireya and tell her about her day so far. She knew her sister was usually whiling away her time picking shells around this time of day, to use them later to braid into her hair.

What she didn’t expect was to run into her idiot brother and his friends caught up in a rowdy fight with Lo'ak and Neteyam. The boys were like hooligans, kicking, punching and pulling tails. Kiri stood in the distance, heavily judging the fools.

“Guys! Hey!” She made a run for it, wanting to stop this fight before any of the skxawngs managed to seriously hurt someone “Aonung!”

Her brother was too caught up trying to free himself from Lo’ak who was pulling his ear all while being dragged across the sand by his tail.

“That’s enough-“

A loud grunt interrupted her and she looked to the side to see Neteyam gracefully knee one of the other boys right in the balls.

“Stop it NOW!” She bellowed, jumping right into the mess of angry teen boys. Not wanting to accidentally hurt the chief’s daughter, Aonung’s friend’s begrudgingly seized their punching and scooted a few steps back.

“Is this how you want the forest people to know us?” She scolded, ignoring the wincing from her brother “that the Metkayina people are hostile bullies? Really Aonung?”

“That bastard threw the first punch!” One of them hissed at Lo’ak, who reacted by hissing back “maybe you should consider vouching for your people and not favour their asses for a change”

“Watch your mouth” despite being in pain, Aonung limped to toward Y/N, putting himself between her and his friend with the snarky tone “do not speak to my sister that way”

The boy only scoffed in response.

“Aonung” Y/N coldly spoke, though there was an undertone of concern lacing her words. Her brother was really beat up, face bruised, lip bleeding and skin scraped here and there “get outta here, go get patched up”

“He’s right you know” he lowly told her, eyes menacingly glancing toward the Sullys “he did start-“

“Then you should’ve put a stop to it” was all she said, staring up at him until her brother caved in and turned away, muttering a string of profanities under his breath that his mother would indefinitely ground him for.

“And you” Y/N turned to the Sully kids as Aonung and his friends made their exit “I know their teasing can get a lot sometimes but did you really have to hit him?”

“You can’t be serious” Lo’ak looked almost offended, as if he wasn’t expecting her at all to scold him “if it wasn’t for that bitc-“

“Mind what you say Lo’ak, he is my brother. A lot to deal with sometimes but he is still my family- the son of Tonowari” she then turned her attention to Kiri “and you just stood there watching and giggling, I always thought you were the mature one”

“Hey don’t drag her into this” Neteyam stepped forward, shielding his siblings both physically and in spirit “they poked fun at her, maybe save the scolding for the person who actually needs it hm?”

“Do not tell me who I ought to scold at and at who I shouldn’t. You were all at fault here to some extent” she hissed, her sharp fangs briefly making an appearance “is resorting to physical violence something you’re used to over choosing to resolve it with civil conversation?”

“Do not speak to me that way” Neteyam hissed, slowly losing his calm composure. He was well known and well respected in his clan, always treated and spoke to like he was royalty. Not a single person had ever spoken rudely much less snapped at him in such a manner. He was a warrior in training to be a strong leader “I’m to be the next Olo'eyktan-“

“No you were going to be Olo'eyktan, before your father left the forest” Y/N was letting her anger get the best of her, not bothering to think even for a second about the words that were leaving her mouth “now you live here in our clan, as a normal person with no high station. So you make your peace-”

“My father is Toruk Makto, he’s fought and won a war against the sky people” Neteyam’s voice was hauntingly low, a growl escaping in between a few words. The way he spoke, the way his tail arose, he almost looked like an animal waiting to pounce on his prey. He was well aware that he was no longer in line to be the next chief but hearing it from someone else in such circumstances made his blood boil “Your father says the reef people haven’t been at war during his time. Take his title of chief away and what does make you then? A nobody; because while I may never be chief, I will always be the son of the great warrior Toruk Makto and you are a girl that was simply born to someone who was already heir to the Metkayina clan”

There was silence.

Deafening silence.

Lo’ak was the short-tempered one in the family, always quick to say things in the heat of the moment; notorious for showing fits of rage and making impulsive choices but even he had to agree: Neteyam had gone too far.

“Bro” he softly called out to Neteyam, sharing nervous glances with Kiri who was just as stunned by their older brother’s outburst. It was unlike him to lose him temper and just say things without thinking.

As if his little brother’s voice was a force that pulled him back to reality, Neteyam’s eyes went wide with realisation after he’d only just processed what he’d said, knowing well that it was too late already.

“No, Y/N” he poorly began, tail drooping down again in shame “I did not mean to-“

“I’m so glad the Omatikaya do not have to face the shame of having to call you their Olo'eyktan” Y/N’s voice was oddly calm but that’s what seemed to scare them even more. She spun on her heels, keeping her cool “there will be no lessons today. And none from me henceforth”

[anonzentimes]

Except it's not actually a hierarchy he's created in his head. The thing that so many fans fail to get is that what is truly terrifying about Nagito Komaeda is the fact that there are lots of Nagito Komaedas out there in the world of Danganronpa. People who's sense of self-worth has been royally fucked by the culture that Hope's Peak (and later the Future Foundation) helped foster. Nagito is simply the one who says the quiet stuff out loud. Like something that's really telling in hindsight is before Episode 4, Hajime never actually calls Nagito out on his talk of talentless people being worthless. Because as the climax of the game makes clear, Hajime is one of those many other Nagito Komaedas out there.

Honestly, great point anon thank you! While he undoubtedly does have a hierarchy in his head I actually did forget to mention in my ramble that this specific trait is mostly a learned thing from the world that they live in (never let me cook at 3am again smh). It's commonly accepted and believed in, Hajime is the biggest example that we see. The "objective" fact everyone accepts that the talented are better than the talentless. Hajime only cares when he learns he's "worthless," and it takes a toll on his personal self esteem.

Nagito believes his talent is worthless because it harms everyone around him and only benefits himself, and when there's no one to harm it goes after him, so he considers himself on the same level as someone who isn't an ultimate. Just combining this with his unhealthy coping mechanism and obsession with Hope and we get some of the most important traits of his character. His self esteem may come from growing up with terrible experiences and blaming himself, or that he's on the same level as someone who isn't an ultimate.

I do think that it's upsetting they play into how he thinks he's worthless by never caring to give him reciprocation or just not at all being bothered by his absence when he's suspended it just really sucks.

The closet thing he gets to reciprocation is Chisa which her caring about him shocks him, and Chiaki a little bit because she's trying to help the whole class and he's included. In Dr2 he is drawn to Hajime and he attempts to get his attention and approval pretty often, they enjoy each other's company at least before things get crazy and Hajime shows reciprocation. Nagito's more of an actual threat in Dr2 and I can understand more their fear and negligence, I still think tying him up and not letting him go anywhere is a horrible thing to do to anyone. I understand it more but It still feels upsetting.

I'm happy for Nagito that Hajime is in his life though, he seems to genuinely love him/care for him quite a lot. Hajime seems to care for him too, even when he's afraid and upset. It's not to the same degree as Nagito, mostly because of Nagito's threatening presence once he loses his filter, but Hajime does care for him and has enjoyed time with him. Their relationship can and has been healed after the killing game and he can actually have one of the healthier, if not healthiest, relationships in his life with Hajime.

(Also I say love because saying like doesn't feel right it doesn't express enough emotion and relationship as general relationship I don't care what you ship lmao)

I really do enjoy seeing fan works and such where his classmates, even if not the to the extent of Hajime's reciprocation, they genuinely care for him and treat him a lot better.

Anyways!! Just wanted to say with this reply some extra stuff I didn't before, some restatements, and the fact yup you're completely right!! Sorry I forgot to mention it in my original ramble post thanks so much anon! :)

[polyamorousmood]

Hi I need some advice.

So I identify as poly even tho ive never had a poly relationship before and made that very clear to my girlfriend before we started dating. She said she was fine with it, and that we could always discuss terms when I start to like another person. We've been dating for a year, and I'm starting to like one of our mutual friends. I was excited to tell my girlfriend, but when I did she freaked out about it and said she couldn't do it. Because she was freaking out, I said it was OK and agreed to be in a mono relationship (I often will say anything to get someone to calm down, and I know that's a flaw of mine which is why I was open about everything before anything was at stake). I don't think I am OK with it, but they way she spoke about it sounds like she won't be convinced either.

I feel like I was lied to? And now I'm in this situation I didn't want, but I don't want to break up with her because I do love her. Functionally our relationship is the same as it always was so maybe I can handle it, but I just don't understand why she would have such a negative reaction when she seemed completely OK with it at the beginning.

I mean... maybe she said it was okay when it wasn't for a similar reason you did? Because she wanted to make you happy more than she wanted to dig into the issue? While I understand this probably felt like a major gut-punch after you made a point to be open about it, it seems to me unfair you'd hold her to a higher standard than you're holding yourself now wrt voicing what you'd be okay with.

Anyway, TL;DR: I think y'all both need to "come to Jesus."

What do I mean by that.

You need the classic Uncle Iroh moment

And it really, really fucking sucks, but you both will have to consider if the life you want -- poly for you, monog for her -- is feasible with each other. I'm sorry, I know it hurts even to think about, but even if everything gets worked out, you will have to think about the possibility it won't first.

First, you're going to have to bring it up again, and explain its importance, and explain your confusion, and acknowledge this is clearly difficult for her. I think a strong possibility is that she's okay with you dating someone else, but not someone she knows. It being her friend may be the sticking point! I've found a lot of people don't consider that a possibility until they're confronted with it, and it drudges up a lot of bad feelings and anxieties that you "always really wanted them and not me," so that's worth investigating.

... Its also really possible she never gave it a ton of thought and assumed it was never really gonna happen🫤. Its also possible your timing was just shit in a way you're not mentioning (maybe didn't even think of!) like, if you mentioned it a week after y'all Had A Talk™️about her feeling really insecure lately, I can see how that could cause her some panic. You are just going to have to grit your teeth and talk🗣️. It is the ONLY path forward that has a chance of everyone feeling fulfilled. Which to me at least, makes it the only path forward, period ⏺️ It sucks. Its hard. You'd rather saw off your toes.

But here's the secret -> people regret more the things they didn't do than the things they did do. A life spent wondering is generally much harder than anything else.

So if after you talk to her, she does have a problem with polyamory, there are only a few options for how this shakes out:

You never get the polyamory. Either because you kept your mouth shut 🙊 or because you asked and it was clearly never going to be okay with her. You stay with her forever and cut off this desire of yours to make her happy. Most poly people find this a very constricted existence.

She consents to polyamory even though she doesn't like having to share you. You guys broker some sort of compromise. Maybe she comes around, but maybe its always a sore spot, and she always feels like she's settling for half a relationship.🌗

You break up💔. Maybe now, maybe after years of trying and failing to do one or both of the first two options.

That's all there is. There's room within those categories, of course, but every outcome is one of those three. Give each of them their fair consideration, because there are some major, long-term pros and cons with each of them, and you need to know what you're signing on for. Oh, and if you're not willing to talk about it? You're locking yourself into the first one. Maybe she's worth it to you, but if that's the choice you're making, you cannot hold that choice against her later, because she won't even have realized you made it if you don't talk about it.

And if you do broker some sort of deal, you better fasten your seatbelt. Because you will have to talk about things she's uncomfortable with very regularly. Accept that right the fuck now. You know its true. You know that even if she understands, there will be new situation after new situation you will have to go through together. And a lot of them will be hard on her. And it will be on your shoulders to see her through.

This is, without exaggeration on my part, one of the worst situations to be in ever. My heart goes out to you.💝 I hope from the depths of my soul there's some sort of misunderstanding that gets resolved without much drama, and you're all okay. I am also truly sorry if that sounded harsh, but I don't want you to waste your time looking for miracle fixes. Everything from this point on will be messy and labor-intensive, but I hope it can be a labor of love.

Wising you the strength to see yourself to a life you love 💙💖🖤

[twig-tea]

Love Senior: Final Thoughts

I've been putting off making a post about this because I don't like trashing things that are small efforts and especially not GL because we don't get enough of it to begin with. But I was enjoying Love Senior through episode 7. The leads were lovely, they had chemistry, their characters were both interesting, and one of them had casual sex with someone else before they got together and it was fine! They even talked about it! And they were thirsty! I love it when women get to have sexual desire in shows.

After episodes 8-9, the narrative took a serious turn and I broke and wrote a content warning post because of how gross the turn in the plot was. With one episode left, I watched to see whether it would undo any of the damage it had done, but instead it doubled down on awfulness.

The last episode is truly a smorgasbord of some of my least favourite tropes all rolled up into one miserable finale, and makes the show truly unwatchable even though it delivers a "happy ending". It didn't make sense, it wasn't good characterization, it served nothing but unnecessary angst, and it meant we didn't even get satisfying reconciliation or dealing with the issues laid out in 8-9. After this ending, I was extremely unconvinced these two would last, or that they should.

I know this isn't the worst there is in the world of QL. I've watched a lot of stuff. I used to just stay quiet if I didn't like something, but honestly, I want folks looking for info about this show to know what to expect, and I also want folks creating content to know that audiences expect better these days. I don't want people to think GL flops because nobody wants to watch it. We're so desperate for good, or even half-decent content (the viewing numbers for GAP should have made that obvious)! But things need to hold together at least somewhat, and this very much did not.

Most of the cast in this show is in a girl group together, so you can support them, continue past the cut if you want details on what makes this finale suck (I've kept it vague but obviously there will be spoilers), and I hope this is taken as it's intended--to help inform the watching decisions of us who love GL and want more of it, and to give information to those making it.

[I'm just going to note also that this show was by StarHunter Entertainment which is not known for its queer rep or good treatment of its people, so I don't feel like I owe this production company any loyalty].

Details about the last episode under the cut.

In episode 10, the following happens:

we get told the SA that I warned about in my 8-9 post was just staged for the purposes of blackmail/breaking up the leads

[the show doesn't acknowledge that the characters were still left in a position that they could have still been sexually assaulted, and that they were put in that position by someone they trusted]

Someone gets hit by a car

One of the leads falls into a coma, and on waking, gets amnesia

Her friends and family conspire to lie to her, not just erasing her girlfriend from their picture of her life, but saying that one of her other friends who has a crush on her is her boyfriend. They all go along with this lie for months

On finding out that her girlfriend had been told that she's actually dating some other guy, her girlfriend decides to noble idiocy and disappear from her life

More time passes, and they see one another at the amnesia girl's graduation, and hug for a happy ending.

THE END.

No conversation. No reconciliation beyond acknowledgment that they still have feelings. No mention of their breakup before the coma. Nothing that convinces me this couple will actually last at all, or reason (in the form of character growth, or narrative purpose) for why they've gone through this. Nothing about the main character being lied to by all of her friends and family for months. This ending says 'everything is fine as long as the two people you want to be in a relationship are in a relationship at the end of the story', and that doesn't fly with me.

[damphexagon]

Fellow Leftists of Tumbler Dot Com ...

I come to you all with a confession, head bowed, filled with shame. I just don't know if I can go on if I don't get this off my chest. So here goes ... I like Kamala Harris. There, I said it. The thing is, I expected this year's election to be another thing to be crushed by. Even the last one that the lesser-of-two-evils candidate won a Pyrrhic victory in sucked shit. I'd emotionally steeled myself for an unwinnable rematch between Ancient Braindead Republican and Trump, followed by 4 years of degradation of civil rights, new mass deportations, worsening environmental destruction, and so forth. And now that... appears to maybe not be going to happen. I know people are not willing to like Harris, because a vote for her is not a vote for The Revolution. Pretty much by definition, you cannot vote a revolution -- after all, a system will never give you the tools you need to dismantle it. But it is a vote for something better, and not in the same way a vote for Biden was for something (only) better than a vote for Trump. You have a woman of color, the youngest serious candidate since Obama, who has promoted and voted for progressive policies for years, not just as something she adopted out of nowhere to get elected (to inevitably abandon immediately after). Within the constraints of what a two-party election can offer, this is what we've wanted. I know the big one for a lot of people right now is the U.S. supporting and financing Israel's genocide of the Palestinian people, which is a great tragedy and a national disgrace that should be ended immediately. What I don't get though is why it's making people hate the candidate that most opposes it. Trump is all in, and Biden weirdly maybe even moreso. On the other hand, you have a candidate who refused to attend what basically amounted to a party for Netanyahu, and instead met with him to tell him, from the sounds of the press release at least, get your shit sorted out for a withdrawal from Gaza. When picking a Vice-Presidential candidate, she could've picked the "moderate" Zionist who would've swung a must-win state and most likely won the election, but instead she went with the pro-labor pro-education progressive unknown. To me, that says a lot, about policies but also about personal integrity. I know some would like something more forceful and explicit, but you do need to keep in mind who the average USAmerican voter is and remember that winning does matter. And she is winning. Not by a lot, but steadily by a little more every single day for the past weeks. So I guess what I'm saying is... can you just let me, us, be happy? Maybe just a little bit? I know things are still bad in many ways and regardless of the results of this election the United States is likely to remain a force of destruction in the world. No election result is a substitute for revolutionary action. But as far as elections go, this is more than we could've hoped for in any election since 2016, except the DNC is on board instead of running interference. It's not a guarantee, but things from Medicare For All to the Green New Deal to an actual end of the Israeli genocide of Palestine are more likely now than they have been in a long time. And if nothing else, can't we at the very least take pleasure in Trump's impotent tantrums and visible suffering? I thought we could all at least agree on that. Let me have this. Harris/Walz 2024.

[karoochui]

I just wanted to say I am so enamoured with Binary Insurgence! I eat up everything, every little crumb, you drop about it and the entire idea is so interesting to me! I'm so in love with stories and worlds like this! I'm also curious to know about the relationship between Sun and Moon, if it's alright to ask. How was it before the fire compared to after? Does their relationship begin to mend (because I'm certain over the years it deteriorated) when y/n comes back into the picture? If any of this is too spoilery or you just haven't fleshed it out yet then you don't have to answer! I'm just super curious about the boys and how you see their dynamic/relationship. I just look forward to seeing how their bond has grown and/or broken and how it may be mended over time.

AHH im glad you like it so much!! Im happy to talk about what i've got, but you are right not everything is fully fleshed out. I have points i wanna get to but while im brainstorming and planning i make up a lot of stuff as i go and then go over it again later to see if i like it or can connect stuff in any way. I have 3 chapters for Arc 1 fully summarized as of now! (Which probably doesn't seem like a lot but i like my chapters long, so it's quite a bit actually).

I wanna say, too, that i'm planning for the first story to be more in the perspective of the reader, so most things about Sun and Moon's personal thoughts and feelings are gonna be more implied than said. I might have some switching points of view, i'm not sure, but i haven't found a place i'd do it or think it's relevant. The sequel is gonna be more from their perspective since it'll mostly be about them.

NOW! I see Sun and Moon as brothers, so they really treat each other in a way that's like that. Before the fire they get along pretty well. Most instances of issue would be when Moon blocks out Sun when he fronts, or just mutual panic over the fact Moon lost his shit w/ the virus. They'll have their disagreements about things (i havent planned specifics yet) but generally they're chill. Sun just worries about Moon hurting people, but Moon worries too. With the way the virus functions in this AU it's hard for Sun to fully fault Moon for what he does, especially because he's also affected by it but not nearly as bad. (I'm gonna explain this more in another ask i have).

Plus, even before the virus they were always glitch/bug-ridden because technicians fucked up their programming continuously after removing them from the theater to work in the daycare. So they had to kinda navigate through that together, glitches and errors on both ends (though not deadly). They hate P&S bc of this, obviously. Hardware fixes suck but they fucking HATE software examinations.

Later on though some issues come into play whenever Sun starts getting worse by being further exposed to the virus (it gets worse for him when they eclipse) because it presents itself in Sun differently than it does Moon. He gets snappier and angrier at times (that comic i made that's captioned "well someones snappy") and while they both understand he doesnt mean the shit he does it's still not great. And nobody's gonna just let themselves be talked to like a dog even if the reason it's happening is because of something the other person can't really help. They're still relatively fine at this point, though.

It's at the end when shit goes really bad, because this part of the story does end badly. I won't spoil specifics but after the fire Sun loses his shit. He starts trying to put the blame on Moon for everything (the virus enhancing his already bad habits/fucking with his line of thinking) out of grief and anger. That carries over into the apocalypse and he just gets worse in general. He gets irrational.

It's a long period of time though, so he eventually also manages it, in his own way. But! I did say before in an ask that in the sequel he's "not evil, persay, but he's a fucking nut". He damns Moon to an hourglass to just fucking get rid of him about 100~ years before they meet you again (he fully thinks he's in the right for this (and he also just hates him) and the only reason he really even stayed around after that was to make sure Moon didn't get out again). He's not a bad-intentioned individual, but he's off the fucking wall at many times bc of the virus having made him worse. He's stubborn as all hell to an infuriating degree, he's irrational, hard-headed, reckless, and while a good bit of his old, kinder self is still pretty prevalent he can be downright fucking mean if provoked. Again, worse than before, and it doesn't take much these days! I always imagined him to have more dramatic, snappy, diva aspects to his personality (even before Help Wanted 2 came out) bc hes so theatrical and intense, so basically take a Sun that's like that, crank it up to 100 and put him in a Bad Situation. That's what Round 2 Sun is like at his worst. He's not a complete lost cause though, and he's far from dumb when he does stuff, just clouded by his own judgement. He doesn't think anything's wrong with him (or does he?).

Moon doesn't really hate him like Sun hates Moon, because although he knows that what happened (the ending of the first story) is technically both of their faults he just feels guilt. They do fight a lot, though. Most of it is Moon trying his best to tell Sun that he's basically full of shit and not seeing things right after Sun starts something, but Sun's at the point where he's gotta learn by consequence. Part of the reason he's so bad is bc 1: hes been infected by the virus for so long now and 2: in his grief, anger, and resentment he's learned to live with it rather than fighting it.

But the sequel is gonna be a feel-good story! Falling in love w/ the reader all over again, i want things to get cleared up - or at least some kind of middle ground between Sun and Moon - the whole sha-bang.

[hedgiwithapen]

Toph and zuko “I thought we were friends” and “wasn’t I worth a goodbye?”

"Where are you going?" 

Toph can feel the familiar footsteps as Zuko approaches, which is good, considering the way his voice echoes in the open hallway. She doesn't bother to turn around. 

"What does it look like?" she asks, an edge to her voice she's too tired to conceal. 

"Like you're about to walk into a wall," he says, and Toph smirks at the sense of confusion in his voice. 

"Into, through," she shrugs. "Why do you care?"

"Why do I--" Nothing burns, but she can smell the singe anyways. "I thought we were friends. You're sneaking out in the middle of the night--"

"I'm not sneaking," Toph cuts him off. "And it's not my fault you people think the middle of the night is a weird time to be up."

"Did something happen?" she hates the worry in his voice. 

"No. And that's the problem." She frowns. His foot, in a fancy silk slipper, slides backwards on the polished floor, a tiny whisper of noise her bending catches better than her ears. "I can't live like this. There's too many people, and they're all--bustling. Sweeping the floor I'm walking on, acting like I'm going to drown if I so much as step towards your Turtle-duck pond. The Gaang fussing was bad enough till they figured out I'm more competent than any of them, I can't take it another minute of this. Happy?" 

"Why didn't you say something?" Zuko asks, moving to sit. She can hear the silk of his robes brushing against itself in the folds. Someone must have alerted him, and he can running, even though the air was chilly with night. She's determined not to let him pull what his uncle does. But she sits.  The bench is oddly out of place, cooled lavastone, without glaze or polishing to make it seem like something it isn't. She runs her fingers over the lumpy surface. 

"You and everyone else have countries to rebuild," she says. "You've got stuff to deal with. And don't try to say I'm more important than that, because of the two of us, I'm the one who's had parents treat me like the most precious object in the world and it really, really sucks. Also, I'm not an idiot. "

"I wasn't going to say that," Zuko lies. 

"Yeah. So I just figured I'd get out of here for a while. Go explore for real. Who thought I'd miss camping?"

"Toph..."

"And you can't forbid me to go. I don't answer to you, Firelord," she finishes. 

"I wasn't going to. I just.. You were just going to leave? without telling anyone? Wasn't I worth a goodbye, at least?"

"I never say goodbye," Toph says, tapping her bare toes on the polished stone flags. Something's not right with Zuko's heartbeat, with his breathing. It takes a moment for her to place the changes. He's crying. Which...Fuck. "It's not like I'm not coming back. You know that, right?"

"What?" Zuko says, trying to disguise the sound. "I... yes. Of course I do."

That's a lie, too.

"Zuko. I'm not going to flee into the woods forever. I just need some space for a bit. I don't miss camping more than I'd miss you guys. I'll come back. I promise."

"When?"

She sighs. "Couple of days. Okay?"

"...okay. You know Katara's going to kill you."

"Pft, she can try." She grins, and wonders if he could see it. "Thanks,  Zuko. for understanding.  I'll remember for next time."

"I'll see you in a few days," he says, suddenly formal. "Please don't break my palace wall."

"I'll put it back," she says. "Bye, Zuko."

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

For funsies, do you have thoughts about what pokemon each Cullen would be most likely to have? Like idk why but I picture Emmett with a Growlithe

I swear to god I had answered this somewhere but since I can't find it, I doubt others can find it.

Let's do it.

Alice

Per the Pokemon universe, Alice is very clearly a psychic and while a powerful one is more or less bog-standard and less terrifying than Sabrina.

I imagine Alice would have a Kadabra and they would have great fun together as Alice communicates for them and uses them to teleport her places she wishes to go.

Bella

Bella has an Eevee, not only is it appropriately normal/non-interesting looking but it's very vulnerable looking, weak compared to its potential evolutionary forms, and has that evolutionary potential to become almost anything for all Bella wouldn't really recognize that fact.

She'd love Eevee because it's a normal type, just like her, because Bella is so normal it hurts.

"Bella, that means only fighting types are super effective against you"

"I am so average."

Carlisle

Carlisle has a Chansey that becomes a Blissey that is his wife Esme. See, Carlisle was working at a Pokemon Center (as one does) and one day came in a tragic Chansey that had had to run away from its trainer and in the process lost its egg.

Everyone had given up on Chansey and Carlisle, cursing himself for being a vampire and probably terrifying the life out of her, ends up taking her home.

Chansey thrives in her new environment and, as all Chansey do, becomes progressively weird the more happy she is. Chansey evolves into a Blissey, a creature that will run at lightening speeds to offer you an egg in your time of need.

It is accepted in the Cullen household that Esme the Blissey is the Cullen mom. It's so accepted, they forget it's weird.

Bella comes to their house and Edward promises she'll love his mother.

Who is his mother?

The Blissey making Italian food in the kitchen because Isaballa is Italian right? (Despite Blissey only saying "Blissey" the plot does not change at all and Bella just assumes that when Blissey goes on a long chirping rant to her it's about how great Edward is.

Yeah, Edward must be her favorite blood sucking child.)

Edward

Edward doesn't have a pokemon.

This is because as a vampire he didn't want to corrupt a good, benign, pokemon with his presence (only the fact that Carlisle and Esme are so pure prevents him from feeling too terrible about Esme). So, Edward wants to gravitate towards more... ah... let's call them tempermental pokemon such as Gengar.

However, Edward doesn't actually want a Gengar, as he wants to be a good person worthy of the world, and a Gengar also doesn't want him for that same reason.

When he meets Bella, there's a dramatic moment where she helps him accept that he too can have a pokemon like a real boy. As Bella tells him what to get, and he wants to impress her, I imagine he gets a Dragonair as it's so beautiful and elegant, just like Bella thinks Edward is (he's never allowed to evolve it into a herp de derp Dragonite).

Emmett

Growlithe and Arcanine in the pokemon world I think are a little too associated with duty/law enforcement to quite be Emmett's thing. Growlithes, while dogs, are very much watch dogs and have a steadfast seriousness when it comes to protection/the law or what have you.

I'm really struggling with him, actually.

I'm going to go with Aipom, good natured but extremely mischievous (and perhaps a little short sighted) who love to live in groups and are just looking for a good time.

Emmett would think his Aipom is the shit.

Emmett also has a Magikarp because he thinks it's hilarious. Its name is Splash. He will never ever trade it.

Esme

Esme is a Blissey. See above.

Though, a happy (but weird), day might come about when coming back from doing the shopping (which Blissey happily does now without having to worry about eating people even if the towns people of Poke Forks are a little surprised that the Blissey is just out there shopping... alone... or going to parent teacher conferences and just... acting like people) and what do you know there's an egg.

"This is our egg, Carlisle" Esme the Blissey clearly pantomimes.

"Sure," is what Carlisle says because he doesn't want to disagree (and pokemon work in mysterious ways) but he did not do the thing that you know humans do to procreate.

Anyways, point being, Esme at one point might have a little Happiny.

Rosalie looks on it with envy because while she adores Esme, EsMe CaN HaVE ChiLDrEN anD isN't a VAmPIrE.

Jasper

Jasper has a Houndoom from his glory days at war. He tries to tell people it's not a Balrog.

Jasper is wrong, it is a Balrog.

Renesmee

There's a story here.

There is great debate over what pokemon Renemsee should get as it should be as special and wonderful as she is. Edward wants to give he ran Eevee, like her mother (Bella's Eevee having since evolved into some state Bella thinks is more cool/better) and for the symbolism of potential and growth that Eevees represent.

Bella wants to give her daughter a Dratini, something that will grow up to be beautiful and elegant and otherworldly (and never a Dragonite, never, it will only stay a Dratini).

Esme of course offers her beloved daughter Happiny (but isn't that your child Esme???) as well as an egg in Renesmee's time of need.

Alice wants her with something adorable like a Pichu, Azumarill, or what have you. It will look great in pictures. And must never ever be allowed to evolve.

Emmett wants to give her a Magikarp which they will name "Splash Two" or "Splashnesmee".

Jacob, of course, wants to give Renesmee a Mightyena because it's a wolf. "It will eat her face, Jacob" Bella does not want to do this even if she admits the symbolism is touching.

In all the bickering, Renesmee stumbles across a Cleffa (stumble being that a spaceship arrived and hit her in the face). Cleffa, being extremely rare and alien, is not recognized by the Cullens who stare and wonder "what is that thing".

Alice supposes it's cute, if not what she had in mind, she can work with this. Bella, Edward, and Jacob are all still upset and trying to get Renesmee to give the thing to Esme to raise so she can have their pokemon instead.

Renesmee ends up with all the pokemon, but does not get rid of Cleffa.

Rosalie

I actually put Rosalie as having a Chikorita. Chikoritas are steadfast, loyal to those they love, as well as courageous. While a Vulpix and Ninetales would appeal to Rosalie's aesthetics, being incredibly beautiful, Chikorita would have all the qualities she'd look for in a friend/partner that is a Pokemon while also being able to be nurturing/help with chores and things (via the use of helpful vines versus well fire balls).

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

i'm on my aspd izaya bullshit again but like. thru this lens, isnt his arc a perfect encapsulation on how aspd negatively affects the person that has it? even to this day, many professionals do not believe that pwASPD suffer from aspd. like at all. to the point where aspd was specifically listed as an outlier to the "patient distress is what defines a disorder" rule in an abnormal psych textbook

(see why i don't respect the field?)

but... he does suffer! a lot! like- remember his speech to mikado at the end of the first arc? how you need to keep evolving, keep changing in order to escape the mundane? how you have to keep going and going and going, wether it be aiming high or low?

yeah. normal people don't need to do this, izaya. you are a broken person.

but why SHOULD he be content with the mundane? the things people usually have that make them content with daily life- friends, family, a purpose, a distinct lack of extreme chronic boredom that drives you to do completely insane shit- izaya doesn't HAVE any of that!

"wait, chronic boredom?" i hear yall thinking. maybe. "isnt that an adhd thing?"

more than one disorder can have the same symptom. theres like a billion that have "want to die" as a symptom. but i dont really blame you for not knowing, its not talked about much

studies have shown that aspd and adhd are both problems with the dopamine receptors in the brain. more specifically, adhd is a chronic deficiency of dopamine, whereas with aspd, when you DO get dopamine, your brain gives you quardruple the normal amount.

studies have ALSO shown there to be a sort of... adhd to aspd pipeline. the story goes like this: you have a kid with adhd. maybe they're born like that, maybe the symptoms developed from trauma (which can happen? apparently??) anyway. kid gets abused. kid develops conduct disorder as a result of that abuse, as a natural extension of the existing adhd symptoms. they're MORE impulsive, which leads to them hurting others- and if it sets off the dopamine receptors, an abused kid starving for happiness and power is gonna chase it, no matter what. theyre like, six, they dont know anything about like. morality. all they know is, theyre sad and this makes them happy. anyway kid never gets treated, abuse continues to exasperate the symptoms, and now you have an adult with aspd, AND the original adhd diagnosis! and ptsd, which is HIGHLY comorbid with aspd! and probably another personality disorder, because you're actually statistically more likely to have two of them!

anyway! that's ONE of the ways aspd can develop from trauma, which it is Known To Do.

does any of that sound pleasant to go through? at all?

let me ask you a question:

imagine you aren't getting dopamine. maybe it's your adhd. maybe you're depressed. either way, you try to get it any way you can. wether it's throwing yourself into a hobby or a job, so the sense of satisfaction gives you dopamine, or something like drugs or gambling.

now, imagine that "rush" you felt. was Four Times Stronger.

wouldnt that compel you to do increasingly dangerous and risky shit, just to feel okay? imagine if you had no friends. imagine if this was your only way to be happy. wouldnt you, eventually, stop caring about others and only care about yourself? after all, other people have thinga like friends and a family that you don't have. they have a fallback. you only have this.

and you might say, "i'd never do that!" but every addict says that, and most eventually cross that line out of sheer desperation. and this? effectively makes you into a dopamine addict. which is dangerous! you can't just STOP... gettng dopamine....! it's necessary! but you have no help so you keep doing what youre doing. (and how could you get help? its baked into the system that people like you don't suffer. why try if youll just get burned?

anyway, back to izaya.

he's lonely. he has one friend and he sucks. he feels compelled to do these things even though he KNOWS it'll hurt him.

i stole this screenshot from some1 who insulted my friend once for something stupid <3 die

but it illustrates my point very well! does it look like he has much control over things?? he sure like to ACT like he does, but at the end of the day, he doesn't, really. he ends up spiraling more and more, doing increasingly risky and rash things, just to get his end goal... which is to die and ascend to the afterlife. a lofty goal.

aiming high, isn't he? a final, spectacular evolution.

or, it should have been.

but it wasn't.

izaya's impulses and deep desire to continue becoming more and more drastic, coupled with his lack of personal ties to anyone that could keep him from doing so....

it didn't make him ascend. it left him in a wheelchair, with chronic pain that will last his whole life.

THAT is where mental illness takes you. it doesn't make you a hollywood psychopath, reveling in the destruction you chose, of your own free will, wholly and truly, to cause. it makes you want More. no matter what, you need More. you see people content with lives worse than yours, everyone bound together with some sort of invisible thread, some sort of tie that keeps them together. a thread that missed you. your brain refuses to see people as people, thus you remain lonely forever, unsatiafied wirh company other than the superficial, because it's fun. that's all you're allowed to care about. an endless cycle of bigger and bigger actions, impulses slowly getting worse--

--and the worst part is, it tricks you into believing you ever had a choice. it tricks everyone into believing you had a choice. your suffering is worse than disregarded, to all the people you look at from your apartment, all the people you wish you could have been like.

it's nonexistant.

[pinkrelish]

I know many people though the romantic relationship aspect in FOI was unnecessary, and whilst I partially agree with that, I also kinda liked it because it was some of the only time in the book we got to see Eddie happy.

As you said this actually a pretty sad book and Eddie spends most if his time in it anxious or angry, so seeing any happy moments weaved in there made me happy too.

so, i'm gonna use this as a jumping point to talk about my take on the paige plot line. this is just my interpretation, and if you read the book differently, then that's your take. our views are shaped by our individual life experiences, and those factors influence the lens which we digest media in the context that it is given. if you don't agree, then that's your experience.

that is to say—

i felt bad for paige for most of it. eddie kinda sucks lol.

i hesitate to even call it romance because that has a certain connotation, and as someone who almost exclusively reads and writes romance, very little about their relationship comes across as romantic to me.

to build context, at the beginning of the book schneiderhan makes a nod* at a popular fanfic trope: girls using eddie because they want to know what it's like to 'get with the freak'. he says he doesn't mind this because "he's not looking to be anyone's boyfriend anyway," and this self-reflection rung true to me.

eddie's initial attraction to paige stems from 1) her being pretty, 2) she treats him like a person and not a "munson," and importantly, 3) she could get him infront of an important record producer.

in his monologues where he's visualizing his future and what he's looking forward to: being a rock hero, hellfire, getting money from his dad's scheme, california... he never names her. in fact, there's several opportunities for him to think about her, but he doesn't. she's a vehicle for two of those dreams, yet he forgets her. i'm a big romantic softy, so there were two times in particular it felt deliberate he didn't mention her when he thought about what he was excited for in the future, and it kind of stung ngl. he describes how happiness washes over him from the way she looks at him, and when they're together (in a sexual context) he remarks in his head about how he wants it to last forever, but it's like once she's off the page, she's gone.

at one point he runs inner commentary about how he never saw a future for himself where he'd do the whole meeting-someone's-parents thing, so he defaults to what he sees in romance movies. he opens the van door for paige and helps her inside. he gets flowers and expensive chocolates for her mom when he's invited over for dinner. but he rarely like... talks to paige about anything that's not related to the record deal, or what she's doing in town lmao. we as an audience barely learn anything about her. and maybe that's because it's the plot line in the book the least, or because the book itself is short, but *shrug*.

they clearly both like each other, that much is clear. he gets nervous around her, it's sweet. but it was equally clear from my interpretation that she likes him more than he likes her, and while they're both using each other (him for the record deal, her to move up in her industry's hierarchy by proving to her boss that she can provide him with a rockstar in the making), their relationship is very shallow and just sex, especially on his part. "not looking to be anybody's boyfriend."

i don't know if all that sums into it being unnecessary because i personally appreciate and pour over any context we're given in how he would treat potential romantic partners, but it did make me feel bad for paige since by the final reveal at the end of the book, it comes across like she invested more into the "relationship" than he did, and his last interaction with her probably felt extra shitty, even if both of them hesitated referring to each other as anything more than a friend or future roommate.

if anyone's not reading the book because they don't want to read about eddie falling in love with another girl, don't worry, it's not that deep for either of them lmao.

/* i don't know if the nod is intentional, but i've also used popular fandom tropes ("reader comes to eddie wanting weed, but is out of money and pays for it with sex") in my own work and thought it was a neat inclusion.