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astral-herald · 7 months ago

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arcane's depiction vs. endorsement and why it flopped

~ i think i'm finally ready to complain ~

My general opinion of season 2 is potential squandered. My recent post about Viktor's storyline as an intentional tragedy lets ya'll know that I did, for the most part, enjoy his arc (hot take, I know, and I know lots of people disagree with me, and I fully understand). If he'd gotten the screen time necessary to pull it off, it would have been legendary in my book. But the lack of screen time, even in the case of the season's eventual BBEG, speaks to my greatest issue with Arcane: no commitment.

(Critical) Discussion of Jinx, Ekko, Sevika, Vi, and Viktor below!

Arcane, as a tragedy (I've said this word too many times to count smh), asks the plot, "what is the worst thing that could possibly happen to this character?" and answers in kind. This is why we get Viktor's lost agency until the very end (and like I've said in the past, I completely understand and hold space for those who dislike this route).

If we ask this same question of the following characters, the scope of loss and despair innate to Arcane's final narrative is made very clear:

Sevika: a revolutionary forever devoted to the cause, not the individual, is nominated as an individual to represent the masses in a governmental body that has no interest in her class-conscious ideal.

Ekko: the people's hero in every sense of the word who never sees the fruits of his labor/sacrifice and who goes without the acknowledgement he deserves (more than any other Arcane character).

Vi: the ultimate victim of Piltover police brutality coerced, through grief, trauma, and loss, into working for the system that oppressed her. Even Caitlyn, for all her good intentions, seems incapable of ever understanding this.

Viktor: a genius hellbent on ending the same suffering he endured at the hands of Piltover's oppression has his agency revoked, driving him to inflict the same choicelessness he endured on Zaunite innocents.

On paper, these arcs are devastatingly sensical. And we don't always need happy endings in our stories (I'd sure like them, more often than not, of course). We can and should witness the harsh realities of class oppression if we don't experience them ourselves. The writing team painstakingly crafted and foreshadowed these worst-case scenarios throughout season 1. For example, in 1x07, Ekko being immediately shot at by Marcus at the bridge confirms our suspicions that Piltover Enforcers are a lost cause, not just full of bad apples but internally broken beyond repair. It felt that, despite all the hope, this struggle was doomed, and we were careening toward something dark - "In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good."

Had these arcs been successful, audiences would be confronted with the systemic issues we see today that implicate the physical and mental health of downtrodden individuals on account of lazy, prejudiced leadership. This actively happens. It is actively happening, sans the fantasy of it all. This is where Arcane should have shined: they depict the tragedy of these characters, but DO NOT endorse it.

But Arcane chickens out and the entire thing fails. Here are the Flop Era Spark Notes:

Maddie is the egregious bad apple stereotype that absolves all other agents of the regime. She clearly is not a stand-in for Enforcers at large because, all of a sudden, they're capable of coordinated artillery strikes that are necessary to the defense of Piltover, which the viewer must suddenly and abundantly care about. So glad she died. Also, Arcane, you cannot introduce abject warfare in the last 30 minutes of your show successfully.

Jinx's "revolutionary" plot was a red herring, and Sevika humbly vying for the spot was never delivered upon. They pay lip service to the Undercity organizing, but the scene is interrupted for larger (messier) plot concerns almost immediately. No commitment. No depiction to even refrain from endorsing.

Ekko and the Firelight Tree. Clearly this was set up as a means of showing how Piltover's mistakes were physically seeping into the only sanctuary left in Zaun. Yet this is just...never resolved? If someone has some insights into this, please let me know. No depiction. No discussion about endorsement.

What could Vi specifically gain by aligning with the Enforcers/Piltover? Human connection with Cait, sure, but why return to them in 2x06? Vi's character begged all season for development, but she kept returning to her nonsensical error of her ways (looking backwards) until the very end, and this is basically what "kills" Jinx. This is a nod to her lonesomeness post 1x03, sure, but to what end? Again, why the Enforcers?!? Oh, because now that Cait has been redeemed and Sevika is in Piltover to save the day, there are no systemic issues left to fix? Sure, Riot.

WHY DEVELOP VIKTOR'S ENTIRE HEXCORE ARC OFF SCREEN?I'M ADMITTEDLY BIASED ABOUT THIS, BUT THE AMOUNT OF DISCUSSIONS I'VE HAD WITH VIKTOR NATION ABOUT THE DEGREE TO WHICH HE WAS INFLUENCED/MANIPULATED BY THE HEXCORE (now that we know Sky was a manifestation of his humanity, not her Actual Self) IS DESPICABLE. HIS COMPROMISED AGENCY NEEDS TO BE FRONT AND CENTER AND OBVIOUS, OR ELSE IT SURE SEEMS LIKE RIOT IS ENDORSING THE LACK OF AGENCY IN VIKTOR'S STORY. I shouldn't have to make 1k word posts to explain this. I'll do it because I love him with my whole heart, but still.

I begged and pleaded for months for BBEG Viktor (I'm really proud of my predictions from October), but by introducing a villain/conflict beyond the Piltover/Zaun dichotomy, Riot severed all threads of class conflict that were so rife and exciting in season 1. The proletariat and the bourgeoise will never coalesce like they did by the end of 2x09 without systemic revolution. Sevika is just one individual. Ekko's people need him. Jinx and Viktor are gone. Vi is downtrodden, and we have SO LITTLE to show for it.

In summary, we just didn't get enough explicit explanation of any character development to make Arcane-As-Tragedy successful. They did not stick the landing. The finale leaves us all with various bad tastes in our mouth. Instead of lamenting the harsh reality of oppression, I'm confused about what Riot prioritizes and agrees with, what they aim to criticize, and what they condemn.

I'll die on the hill that revoking Viktor's agency has the potential to be one of the greatest tragic hero storylines I've ever seen, but it's a lonely hill because I'm fighting against the writing team's consistent flops. At least Balayage Viktor was so gorgeous.

shameless self plug for my earlier discussion about the innate political clashes in season 1 that were abandoned for flashy fantasy fights in season 2:

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negrowhat · 3 months ago

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Boss has licked and sucked every square inch of Noeul's body on camera. And Noeul still went and raised the stakes by tracing the actual outline of his dick. This was not a palming of the general area and they made sure we knew that. The split fingers took me out. Tip to root. This is some bonkers product placement for Boss's cute little old man pjs.

Noeul really shined for me in that Special Ep love scene. He gave us a sexually assertive Phu I was not expecting to see. And I shouldn't even be so shocked because we did get a glimpse of it during that scene where he gave Cir a BJ, he kinda has to give pushback at some points to show Cir that he wants these things. The difference though, is Phu's level of confidence.

Like Phu was really leading that encounter. He gave us such a firm and precise initiation. Starting off with him planting that horny seed of jealousy by mentioning that a different Cir kissed him in his dreams. And taking care to say that the kiss was so rough that it flustered him. He knew exactly what to say to tease Cir because he wanted that man to completely wreck him.

Like that was really all it took and the tiniest of pecks to get Cir in the mindset to want to fuck Phu roughly.

And when they get to that outdoor bed you can literally see Phu push on Cir's shoulders because he wanted him to sit down which Cir immediately does. When Phu climbs on top of Cir???? The hunger??? The desire??? The way he looks so determined?? Oh he wants his man real bad.

And that kiss???????????????????? The way Phu just shoves his tongue into Cir's mouth?? IDK how Cir isn't overwhelmed by his sweet little Phu being so aggressive.

And let me tell you what it was that snapped Cir's patience: Phu saying in his ear, "Let's make up P'Cir." I think that where Cir was like, "Ohhhh he's going to get it."

Then we get that INSANE dixk tracing from Phu. That's more of Phu's hunger for Cir. For that man's dixk. For his man's dixk. He wanted to make it extra, crystal clear that he desired that man carnally rn.

And even when Cir flips Phu over and that assertive and aggressive energy successfully transfers from Phu to Cir we still get that power talk from Phu as he submits to Cir. "Punish me until you're satisfied." Because ultimately what Phu wanted was to be treated roughly by Cir. He took on that assertive position to get the ball rolling because he knows how gentle Cir is with him. Coax that energy from Cir. And we get that devilish grin from Cir because he is fully committed to give Phu exactly what he wants now that he's sure it's ok.

I know that when Cir yanked Phu's hair he probably nearly creamed his pants. That fucking GASP Phu lets out??? And I just love that Cir says it's not even about punishment, he just wants to fuck Phu roughly because it's what Phu wants and he's jealous that some other Cir is trying to fulfil his desires first.

And with that they kind of remove that D/s element from the moment that Phu started to set in place because Cir doesn't want Phu to submit to him persay, he just wants to be all the 'Cir' Phu ever needs to be satisfied.

Noeul really fucking ATE this love scene up and I'd like to personally thank him for it all. That love scene is def up there with the 2 BJ scenes. And it's a treat to see BossNoeul play off each other during these scenes because they always seem to match each other's freak and they never shy away from raising the standard.

#bossnoeul #cirphu #the boy next world #boy next world

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tealvenetianmask · 3 months ago

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Why Stolas's Story Is a Neurodivergent Story

And what that means for what's ahead.

Like a lot of fans, I see Stolas as autistic. This isn't a diagnosis post. But yes, something something special interests, dinosaur arms, persistent difficulty fitting in with his own social class, anxiety about social situations, frequent difficulty reading people and/or noticing others' emotions (especially when caught up in his own thoughts), masking, etc. etc. etc.

I want to talk about how Stolas's character arc tells a really well written (and potentially very uplifting) story about what it's like to be neurodivergent.

So what would be in my ideal neurodivergent story? Well I'd rather stay away from true utopia and have it reflect what it feels like to be neurodivergent in society today. So the character would struggle, not because their traits are bad, but because society isn't built for them. As the story progresses, the character might find happiness in unexpected ways and begin to look beyond society's rigid expectations for what a "good life" looks like. And then, hopefully, after some twists and turns, this character reaches a kind of self-acceptance where they are more themselves than ever, proud of who they are, and maybe even able to help change their society for the better.

Stolas's character arc IS this story.

Act 1: It's hard trying to fit into a neurotypical world.

Stolas is taught to mask his true emotions and follow strict social expectations as a child. He isn't living in just ANY neurotypical culture. The Goetia are old and set in their ways, and have rigid expectations for what one does and does not do. He's playing the social game on "hard mode" from the beginning.

I think one thing that helps make Stolas high masking is the way in which his special interests are socially acceptable within his social sphere. Stars and plants? Books? Well he's a nerd, and no one wants to be his friend, but of course a guy with his particular destiny-assigned-in-childhood would like things like that.

Stolas develops a few different types of masks. One is the "I'm fine" mask where he pretends not to be emotionally affected by what's going on around him.

The other is this sort of "powerful" mask. A character who is in control of everything and plays into his society's ideas of how a Goetia should interact with the rest of the world. It usually means acting demeaning toward Blitz in order to preserve the facade of what a powerful prince of Hell is supposed to be. And he's conscious of putting on an act when he uses it.

But anyway, the masks cover up a person who is deeply unhappy in his prescribed role and doing his best to act correctly for others . . . his father's expectations and then his daughter's wellbeing, instead of for himself. I like that HB has him STILL not fit in among the Goetia despite his best efforts. It's an experience that a lot of neurodivergent people know too well.

By the way, I LOVE how Mastermind brings us Stolas doing something truly subversive with this "powerful" mask, playing into his society's expectations in order to, in a small way, undermine their power. BUT that's me getting ahead of myself.

Act 2: The neurodivergent character learns that there are other ways to be.

I think that Stolas has been dipping his talons into this part of his story for two seasons now but has been hesitant to envision himself as anything but a prince of hell. We're going to see him fully engulfed in working through these questions in Season 3 because of his banishment.

Blitz is of course the major catalyst for Stolas questioning his commitment to conformity and acting outright rebellious at times.

I think it's neat that Blitz is so clearly neurodivergent himself. We tend to find each other . . . if you're reading this and are neurodivergent, take a look at your closest friends. And these two share a kind of chemistry and appreciation for one another that most of Hell seems not to see in them.

BUT until he's banished, Stolas doesn't really reach for a situation where he doesn't need to act out his prescribed role. Even when he pursues a relationship with Blitz in earnest, he does so with the expectation that he'll somehow balance this relationship with satisfying the expectations of his upper-class peers.

Act 3: Radical Self-Acceptance?? Hopefully!

Now we can only speculate.

I think that despite realizing that he wants something else, Stolas still fundamentally believes that something is wrong with him. He doesn't understand yet that his enthusiasm for his interests and his emotiveness, for instance, are part of what makes him wonderful. He doesn't see yet that being different might even help him change a society that is deeply flawed.

I can't wait to see Stolas truly have fun in Imp City, and do things there that he's truly proud of.

Whatever happens with his literal powers, he might figure out that he's most powerful when he doesn't act like a "powerful prince" but instead acts like himself and proudly questions his society.

And there's a lot of "The Circus" in this post because @akirathedramaqueen and I had a major brainstorm while we were rewatching that episode. More new ideas about old material to come soon hopefully!

This post is a follow-up on this literal fever ramble from yesterday about Blitz as a neurodivergent character. And yes, I think neurodivergent stories map onto queer stories quite nicely.

#stolas #stolas goetia #stolitz #helluva boss #hb #my helluva meta #neurodiversity #helluva boss analysis #blitzø

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dubiousanon · 4 months ago

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GAANARU FOR ME PLS DO U HAVE SNIPPETS ✋

SOMEBODY ASKEDDDD here is a chunk of a fic in my drafts in which Gaara is insanely in love with Naruto, and Naruto somehow decides it's in the best interests of their villages' alliance that they get married:

The thing is that Gaara didn't even know the meaning of love before him.

He thought he did up until now, the mark carved into his forehead and blood on his hands. But whatever he had before— it pales in comparison to the fire lit in his chest, the one that radiates heat through each of his limbs, straight down to the very tips of his fingers and toes. He's been set ablaze, and he hopes desperately that the flame never goes out.

Naruto breathes life into everything he touches, it seems. Gaara is no exception. He thinks that if he could choose to be anywhere in the whole entire world, it would be here every single time.

He's so stuck in his blissful daze that he hardly notices that Naruto has been rambling to him this entire time. And more than that, it seems it might concern issues he should probably pay attention to. Just a little bit.

"-and that's why I feel like the political marriage between Shikamaru and Temari is stupid. Shikamaru doesn't even like her! He'd be unhappy for like, life!" Naruto threw his hands up in the air. "If they really want a strong alliance, they should just have the two of us get married. Believe it!"

Gaara very nearly chokes. His brain doesn't fully compute, but some part of him must because he's answering before he can even think about it. Like some part of his hind brain sees the in for what it is and dives to take it.

"For the sake of the villages," Gaara says in a voice far calmer than the internal screaming going on within him is, "that sounds like it would be a far better choice."

It wouldn't be better. Realistically, it would actually make things insanely complicated. Two jinchuuriki of different villages, one being a kage and the other slated to become one in the future, bound in holy matrimony? It would be nearly impossible. Unheard of.

The more Gaara thinks about it, the more he realizes he's never wanted anymore more in his entire life.

Marriage to Naruto would be a guarantee for life. Naruto does not do things in halves. He sticks to his commitments and he doesn't go back on his word, and such a philosophy seems to transfer to all facets of his life. Gaara sees no reason it wouldn't apply to this one too.

It's beyond appealing. The thought that Gaara could have Naruto, and Naruto would be his— he's giddy just thinking about it, hungry in that same odd way that drives him to stare at Naruto's lips and imagine their taste so often when they're together. In his chest, his heart races.

Next to him, Naruto makes a grand gesture with his hand.

"Right?!" He exclaims. "I mean, we get along! We're super close. I'd totally spend my life with you, believe it."

"I share the sentiment." Gaara is quick to say, feeling smitten. It's too good to be true. Surely he's not-

"In fact, we should just handle this ourselves. Right now." Naruto starts to stand. Gaara's heart nearly gives out right then and there. "Let's go find a church or something. Believe it."

Someone wake him up. Right now.

#naruto #gaanaru #sabaku no gaara #gaara of the sand #NaruGaa #idk theyre gay #I love Shikamaru and Temari #I just needed a plot device #they were the easiest victims #anyway #spontaneous marriage #naruto uzumaki #he doesn't do shit in halves #smitten gaara #sound the alarm #there is NOT enough down bad Gaara #you know my boy would be fiending

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nqueso-lies · 2 months ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/nquesoxlies/780567152604463104/let-people-be-upset-about-their-favorite?source=share

tbh there's also something a loooot of ppl need to learn calling "setting realistic expectations." i personally wouldn't want eddie back without an on-screen conversation between him and CHRIS about what CHRIS wants, otherwise his entire plot in texas would feel kinda moot with a throwaway "yeah chris is fine with coming back to LA :)" since this plot was big enough for eddie to drop everything to go finally make things right with his son. i didn't expect for him to show up for the two-parter. meanwhile, everyone i saw who was momentarily disappointed bc no tommy was like "ah well, we know we're almost definitely getting him next episode bc of leaks" and went on to enjoy the episode as a whole

its genuinely fine to go "aw no eddie? :(" its Not fine to review bomb an episode and repeatedly bitch about the director not putting ur favorite man in the episode when it makes 0 sense for him to come back so quickly and without showing us that he IS still working on being a better dad to chris. hell, go write fanfic about it where eddie IS back instead of review bombing!!! that's probably a way more fun use of time than review bombing!!!

honestly, these fans make me dislike eddie more and more ngl which isn't even the actor or the writers faults at all. if he leaves the show then it's not going to impact me that much unless his ending is fully unsatisfying, and that'll be more of a "cmon, writers, you knew this was where this was going, do better." i have never watched the show only for eddie like these people have. came into the show expecting to love madney + henren and ended up very emotionally invested in bathena while enjoying buck and eddie as well. i'm on the same page as a lot of ppl who have been here longer than i have been: we love the entire show rather than just eddie. honestly, i think half of these people don't even like buck. i already know most of them don't give a shit about the rest of the show from insulting ravi over him distracting buck with tommy to turning josh into the "number 1 b*ddie cheerleader" to ignoring henren unless they can use them as a "gotcha!!! you don't actually care about queer rep!!!" like.

@ BoBs: do YOU? because every time there's queer rep that threatens ur fanon ship, u actively get homophobic about it down to, what, 600? of you PROUDLY admitting you would commit a hate crime to make your stupid ship canon--including both real men and fictional characters like josh and tommy in your "i'd hate crime for them teehee!" bullshit.

idk queso its just wild to me how often i also see the "eddie diaz pretty pretty princess who wants to paint his nails!!!" like. painting ur nails isnt gendered, the fuck? BoBs see anyone gender non-conforming and goes "wow, inherent sign of queerness, i am very smart :)" while feeding directly into toxic masculinity with the idea that if you don't adhere strictly to what's deemed masculine, then clearly you're queer. even if you say you're straight and know you're attracted to women and only women, you're gay because you (checks notes) have emotions and cry over your friends and did ballroom dancing when you were younger.

anyway if im being petty then i kinda hope that eddie leaves to focus fully on chris and making a life for the two of them in el paso and ravi takes his place on the team so that we get indian rep permanently on the show for a bit! i think he could bring some new life into the team (regardless of whether the show goes on for one season or more) and it'd be nice to see buck in a mentor position to him. plus i'd love to see his dynamic with the rest of the team <3 i am still available to play his love interest who is there for a single episode before being relegated to one-off mentions <3 /hj

Yes to alllllll of this, Annie!!!

What's ironic to me, based on something you mentioned, is the nail painting. They want sooooo hard for RG to actually be gay yet an actor who does paint his nails (for self-harm reasons) they call a slur and tell him to die.

Like???? Wtf are we doing???

(I know your ask is about the characters but that shit will always rub me the wrong way about Ryan stans)

#anonymous #911 abc #911 discourse #nquesu wanna block

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raayllum · 5 months ago

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King of What? :: a S7 Ezran Meta

Introduction

Because S7 in particular gave me even more Ezran feelings than usual, and I thought "What's more fun than methodically breaking them down and sorting them into categories?" so here we are. We'll be looking at a lot (but not all) of Ezran's s7 arc as well as some holdovers from previous seasons. There are also some motifs to keep in mind, such as the:

Phoenix motif

Need motif (+ him and Callum later)

Reflection Motif

that we will dive into more later once they're more relevant / we can put the pieces in place. For now, a little background meta key up because S7 breaks Ezran down and then systematically builds him back up while also, in some ways, doing a complete overhaul.

So let's talk about it?

Pillars of Identity: Who is Ezran?

TDP is a series obsessed with a lot of things, but if I'd have to wager what the second core idea of the series is beyond the Cycle of Violence, I'd probably put in on a theme of Identity, specifically questions such as, "how do I, as a person, exist within the Cycle (breaking it, perpetuating it, both)?" and "who has, or is, my grief turning me into?" as they are deeply interrelated. To answer those questions, that requires establishing who a character is in 'normal life,' or outside of grief and the cycle (ie. trauma) and who they are within it.

With that in mind, I think Ezran has about five approximate pillars for his identity, in roughly this order:

Harrow's son

The king

Callum's brother

Zym's friend

Rayla's friend

I don't think that other characters pillars would be that different (Rayla's primary would also likely be her three duty bound parents) as it does make sense; most children's primary influence in life, especially as they grow, start with their parents as role models even if they may eventually separate and take an opposite road (love you Soren). Where Ezran differs, I think, is that while I don't know if Rayla would consciously conceptualize herself as her parents' daughter as her primary pillar, I do think that Ezran — especially Ezran in arc 2 — is always orienting himself around "I am Harrow's son" (for better or for worse in terms of what that means).

This is also why I put Ezran's identity as king as his second pillar. In his childhood / pre-s3, I think his second pillar would've been his identity as Callum's (little) brother. However, we see him place returning to his kingdom above helping Callum (brother) and Rayla (friend) returning Zym (another friend) to Xadia. The loss of his father strips away the relative safety of body and mind that being a prince comparatively gave him, fundamentally altering his internalized and externalized sense(s) of responsibility and his choices accordingly. It's the loss of his father and the subsequent grief, yes, which Callum also experiences, but uniquely the mantle of the throne as well, which is what he highlights in 7x02:

This all started the day that assassin came to Katolis and killed him. Our king. Our father. I never asked for this. I wasn't ready to be a king. I'm just a kid. That day changed me forever.

So let's talk about being the king. Let's talk about

The Crown

Ezran's crown is one of the few objects in the series to have an episode titled after it (3x02) and the only one I can remember that continues to be a symbol we consistently come back to throughout (i.e. unlike 1x07's "The Dagger and the Wolf"). Despite returning to Katolis to be king and sitting on the throne itself throughout the episode, Ezran struggles with the crown. It is, to him, in some manner different than the throne, despite ostensibly representing the same thing. He has, effectively, already made the choice to be king, yet persists in his doubt and hesitation as he struggles to learn the balance.

Opeli, however, contributes to that distinction, noting specifically that "the crown is a heavy burden to bear" and that "no one blames you for being a child". Ezran's choice to fully commit to, and his acquiring of the kingship fully, is made synonymous with him putting on his father's crown for the first time. In a lot of ways, Ezran returning home to Katolis was him realizing he can't run away from growing up (2x09) in his own words, and therefore that putting on the crown is him committing to becoming someone new: this is Grown Up Ezran, or Growing Up Ezran, actively. He is, from this day on by choice, no longer just a child, but also — more so — a king.

AARAVOS: The whining child king, in over his head, and he knows it. (4x04) DOMINA: Who is this child? ZUBEIA: He is a king! (5x01) KARIM: I've never negotiated with a child before. CORVUS: He is a king. (6x07)

This also folds into how Ezran conceptualizes his father. Again, as children often do, he looks to his father for guidance with the things that Ezran is struggling to handle per his sense of responsiblity (teaching Zym how to fly in season 2): "I just wish Dad was here. He'd know what to do, you know?"

When Ezran returns home in season three, he does so with the direct consequence of his father's actions on his shoulders and wrapped around his brow, and with his letter in hand, and these changes likewise reflect a more nuanced understanding of his father:

All of you knew King Harrow as a great king. He was a warrior, a leader, and a champion. But I knew him as my Dad, who loved me and my brother and our mom, and sometimes told really bad jokes. [...] I didn't see everything he had to do as king, but I do know my father had to make some very hard decisions... I haven't been through the things that made my father the king he was. So I've decided that I don't have to be the king my father was. My father made choices to keep fighting battles that started hundreds of years before he was born. To punish children for crimes their parents committed. I don't want to be that kind of king.

This is, of course, a speech made in the context of actively rejecting war and of pardoning those who would otherwise be punished, both things that Harrow did engage in directly and deeply regretted in the letter Ezran currently holds. Ezran then walks the balance of simultaneously rejecting who his father was, and honouring who his father was and who he wanted to be. This is perhaps best exemplified in season 3 of Ezran, two episodes after rejecting his father's 'way', having a mirrored path across the courtyard set to "Last Sunset" in one of their most overt parallels, prepared to give up his life and freedom in hopes others will make better choices with the (hopefully) renewed agency they now have.

By the time we get to season 4, Ezran has changed greatly. He's more confident as king, the team's resident diplomat and negotiator, and a lot more active in general, though not without plenty of room to grow. 4x03 offers a cold dose of reality that the road to the future he wants is going to be harder to walk, but still confident that we can get there because, "We all want peace, and we all want love."

He also has a more complicated yet positive view of his father as king and of the world at large. He best expresses this, perhaps, the first time he removes his crown (which is a permanent part of his identity, and of his character design):

I am King Ezran of Katolis. As my gift [of sacrifice], I offer you my crown. It has no jewels and it isn't made of precious metal. It's made from the steel of my father's sword. My father was a strong king, and I wanted to carry that strength with me. But he also taught me that strength isn't always about weapons and war. This crown reminds me of that lesson.

Rather than just seeing Harrow as something to not be, Ezran has come around to wanting to carry his father closely with him. He's learned that "peace demands just as much strength as war" and also decided to embody Harrow's closing thoughts as a king: "I now believe that true strength is found in vulnerability, in forgiveness, in love." A dual strength for a dual king, symbolized by Ezran taking his father's sword and reshaping it into something new.

Ezran is a King of Love as Strength. He is king because he's literally Harrow's son and heir, but also emotionally — narratively — Harrow's son in terms of breaking the cycle and choosing love (similarly how Janai in S7 becomes known as a queen of mercy just like her previous royal role model, Aditi). Harrow's son by fact, and Harrow's son by choice in some ways:

EZRAN: History doesn't have to be a narrative of strength. Not if we don't want it to be. It can be a narrative of love. KARIM: These are childish dreams. EZRAN: Not dreams, choices. I am a king. And as a king, I choose love over strength.

So Ezran being king, to him, is synonymous with choosing love as strength. With making choices. With being Harrow's son (positive). He forgives Zubeia and Avizandum because of Zym. He forgives Rayla because "I'm sure she doesn't mean to make [Callum] feel that way". He provides an anchor, a pillar, for other people to build their identity around ("Don't you remember who you are?") as a reminder and a lever (hi Soren). He can honour and strive to be better than his father simultaneously. He can hold pain and love in his heart at the same time.

Until he can't.

King of what? King of ashes? [Of nothing?]

In seasons 4 and 5, we see Ezran remove his crown. Both are about sacrifices: he is prepared to offer his crown to Rex Igneous and to Finnegrin in order to help with their mission, asserting its sentimental value and importance to him: "You must bring Rex Igneous a worthy gift." / "It's not worthless. It's really important to me."

In season 7, he removes it just once. This is in admission to Callum that he "never asked for this". He was given the option of being king or not being king, but neither would've necessarily made him happy, and he made the best choice with the options he had... Options that he never asked for in the first place. The crown being a reminder to choose strength over love? He never asked to have to learn that lesson, either. It was a burden placed on him in making the best out of a bad situation, which is — unfortunately — an unavoidable part of life. But it can still be, or feel, unfair to him.

I think we see this aspect of Ezran struggling with what he wanted vs what was forced upon him in how he (and others) in 7x02 treat his high ranking position. We've seen first hand in 5x01 that Callum would overrule something like Rayla — and Runaan by extension — being arrested, but Ezran has the final say here as king. However, he does not directly highlight his own ranking. Merely, he reminds his brother of Callum's position:

Callum. High Mage. We need you at this council meeting.

And Rayla ("you're not my king, but you are my friend") reminds Ezran of his, because it is Ezran's status as king — the power, the trauma — that is driving them apart:

So, King Ezran. How determined are you to stop me?

Being king gives Ezran control over the people around him — Opeli, Soren, Corvus, Aanya, Callum — and over what happens. It gives him control. A sense of safety. And while these are understandable desires, they swing the wrong way in his anger.

So let's talk about who they swing towards!

Targets (Sol Regem, Runaan, Callum)

Ezran's anger has three direct targets in season 7, and as such, it's easy to see the way each stacks on top of the other.

The initial one is Sol Regem ("We need to find Sol Regem and destroy him"). This leads to finding an already dead dragon, which means in addition to having no one to blame, it means Ezran has no way to know or understand why Sol Regem attacked Katolis (beyond a hatred of humans). The destruction of the castle feels like losing his family all over again, in some ways, in addition to his childhood home.

Then lo and behold, the man responsible for killing his father walks right into it.

You! This is all your fault! Everything changed the day you came. You killed my father!

I think this line shows a few things. As king, Ezran was supposed to protect and be there for Katolis (2x09) while also working to break the cycle. That's what, by Ezran's measure, a good king would do. He's utterly failed at the former, and if he's a bad king, then he shouldn't be king. So whose fault is it that Ezran, a bad king, is on the throne? Logistically and emotionally, it's Runaan. It's not quite rational but it is reasonable for Ezran to look at every event in his life from the past two years spiralling out from his father's death, and culminating in Katolis' destruction.

However, despite Runaan becoming the next target of Ezran's anger, he's not actually the most consistent target of it throughout the season: Callum is.

After 7x02, Ezran doesn't breathe a single word of ire about Runaan for the rest of the series, even if he's still clearly angry months later in the 7x09 'epilogue'. Instead in 7x03, he's fixated on finding and dragging his brother back as punishment ("we can't let him get away with it!") for betrayal, which Ezran also takes personally and extends beyond himself: "Callum betrayed me. He betrayed all of Katolis."

The idea that a king represents his kingdom is an old one in terms of history, and considering that Runaan killed the king of Katolis, and Callum helped him escape, it's not that much of a reach. However, Ezran isn't even thinking that logically. If Ez was proposing hunting down the kingslayer and bringing him back to face justice, that'd be one thing. However, he only talks about holding Callum accountable, not even Rayla (who also betrayed him) or Runaan (the escaped prisoner).

His targets, quite literally, switched from Aanya having her arrow notched at Runaan and then to his brother, and Ezran's anger has subsequently followed.

Now, some of this is undoubtedly because of the three, Ezran is the closest to Callum. They had a childhood together and Callum was customarily always in his corner, if sometimes a bit scatterbrained/unreliable or angry. He, accordingly, expected Callum to be on his side, and barring that (stopping him from going after Rayla in the meeting) was prepared to enforce it. A lot of our emotional upset tends to come from "I expected you to understand/support me, and you don't" after all.

However, I think Ezran's emotional interplay is a bit more complicated. I think in 7x01, Ezran attaches to Callum as an extension of himself even as he self-isolates, such as sending Callum to go with Corvus "because we have to do something" in investigating Sol Regem, and for no real in-universe reason besides "Corvus offered to go, but I need to feel in control so I'm going to tell/order someone to go with him".

The other, bigger part of this is that Callum is the biggest hole in Ezran's reasoning.

EZRAN: He killed our father. Isn't that enough?

We know that part of Ezran's grief is that it forced him to be king and grow up quickly, something that Callum is adjacent to but can't relate to in the same way by virtue of not having the crown. But since the reasoning Ezran highlights is that 1) Runaan is a murderer (unlike the bulk of the people at his council table—oh wait) and 2) it's okay/right to punish him for killing their father... having his brother, who is also King Harrow's son (cue the identity pillar) disagree is a pretty big blow to it. They both loved their dad; he was their father, and they were both his sons. Callum is in the closest position imaginable to Ezran as anyone could be, emotionally, yet they have two completely different perspectives. It gives Ezran's reasoning much less ground to stand on, and he can't handle it. The fact that Callum's perspective (which was already a betrayal in its own way) then becomes action (which is what Ezran labels the betrayal), I think, is just the cherry on top.

Another thing that's worth noting, I think, is that neither Ezran or Callum are necessarily the ones who escalate things in 7x02; Aanya and Rayla are. Soren, Corvus, and the other guards are working under Ezran as his crownguard, but Aanya and Rayla are the rogue parties. Aanya isn't operating under Ezran's jurisdiction, but as his friend and ally. What this does mean, though, is that literally everyone at the Banther Lodge is on Ezran's side against Rayla and her weakened, injured father... except Callum, but as a mage, he's enough to tip the scales to take down the crownguard... and then use himself as a human shield.

One of the things about Ezran's anger and its targets in season 7 is that it does a very good job at illustrating exactly why the Cycle is so destructive to participate in, because yes, you may aim your anger at the people who 'deserve' it and are directly responsible—the acceptable, understandable Targets if you will—but you catch others in the crossfire. There is always collateral damage of people who didn't do a thing to you, whether that's the people who love them, or the people who are like them. (Insert Zubeia wanting to take revenge for the loss of her mate and child, claiming the lives of the assassins sent to take it, and then Lyrennus' pain at the loss of his child + Ethari's at the loss of his partner.) There is no clean way to kill your enemy in a manner that does no harm to anyone else (who is innocent).

Ezran's targets by proxy of wanting to deal with Sol Regem's destruction of Katolis are the dragons and Zym (more on them in a second, though, cause that deserves its own section). His targets by proxy of wanting to punish Runaan is causing deep pain to Rayla, even before she's taken any action against him, and then on a more literal sense his own brother. His targets by proxy of wanting to drag Callum back by force likely would've been Runaan, Rayla, potentially Ethari, or even Corvus or other crownguard in the fight.

Callum shielding Runaan (and Rayla by extension) force Ezran to confront this fact, at least a little. Does he value punishing Runaan (and Rayla, a girl who's saved him countless times, who was willing to lose a hand for him, who has otherwise always taken his side)—perpetuating the cycle—over his brother's life. And Ezran is angry enough that he good and truly considers it (although we could say perhaps he was waiting to see if Callum would move out of the way). But where Ezran was willing to hurt Rayla emotionally if it meant physically punishing Runaan, he is not willing to risk killing Callum to keep the assassin as a prisoner.

This is also, I think, the turning point for Aanya. She is Ezran's friend and was willing to follow his lead, and upon seeing the choice that Ezran made—sparing Callum over killing him and Runaan—she shifts gears. She and everyone else (who are deeply uncomfortable with Ezran's increasing rage, but unwilling to speak out against it) recognize that pursuing and punishing Callum will not actually making Ezran feel better. So she tries a different tactic.

EZRAN: We can't let him get away with it. Corvus, I need you to track them. CORVUS: [Gently corrects him] King Ezran, we already know where they're going. The Silvergrove. EZRAN: Right. And that's why I need you to track them. (7x03)

I also think Ezran taking 'being king' as such a core identity piece—Callum was Harrow's son too, but not in the way Ezran wanted/needed—lets Aanya reach him. She's also a child monarch, and reminding Ezran of this and that he and Callum can heal ("But I'll always be your brother" / "You're brothers") is something that Ezran deeply needed to hear from someone else, too.

AANYA: I know it hurts right now, Ezran. But you need to know that you and Callum are not broken. The both of you will heal one day. You're brothers. It's okay to be angry, and it's okay to be sad. But I think you should let this go, for now. You're the king of Katolis, and your people need you. EZRAN: You're right. I need to protect them.

EZRAN: But Katolis needs me. (4x03)

However, that doesn't mean Aanya's advice, nor how Ezran pursues that protection is faultless, so next, let's talk about

Dragons as Friends and Foes

Ezran has always been the dragon boy.

Back in 2021, I wrote a more long winded post that basically boiled down to—in a show where elf, human, and dragon relations are key—it was likely that Callum was always designed to be the human who engaged the most with the culturally elven side of things (primal magic, Rayla being his lancer), and Ezran (with his ability to talk to animals) was designed to handle the dragon-human side of things. Think how we see Callum's first meeting with Rayla, an elf, while Ezran is the one who discovers Zym as a dragon egg.

Although other characters (namely Rayllum in S3, and Soren in seasons 4-6) bond with dragons as well, this remained true throughout arc 2, wherein Ezran is the closest to Zym and Zubeia, the primary negotiator with the various archdragons, going on his 'big dragon missions' (5x01-5x03), etc.

Season seven, therefore, presents an interesting departure in Ezran's view of dragons. Previously, while they should've been enemies, he always saw them as friends and allies: being the first to run to and aid Pyrrah in 2x07, trying to commune with Zubeia to wake her up in 3x08, defending Avizandum in 4x08 on behalf of Zym, etc.

Sol Regem's attack changes all of that. As Ezran states:

But doesn't a home need to be safe? [...] Our ancestors spent generations building Katolis. I don't want to waste our time if it's all going to get knocked down. [...] We have to be ready. We have to be strong enough so that they won't even think about attacking us. Before we rebuild, we have to build our defenses.

In season 4 and 5, all Ezran wanted to do was work with the dragons. To work together with Zubeia to stop Aaravos; to call upon the dragons to help stop Claudia and Viren. Now, the dragons are a 'them'. Now there's an 'us'.

This isn't necessarily a 'wrong' way to think about it, though. An archdragon did attack and devastate Katolis, seemingly — to Ezran — for no apparent reason. To want to prevent that from happening is reasonable. Yes, Ezran is friends with dragons, but most friends aren't also born with the inherent capacity to utterly destroy your life as a built in feature.

At the same time, this new 'us vs them' mindset is challenged a few times in season 7. Although Ezran's assurances to Zym that "we're only building such powerful weapons so that we never have to use them" will not work out without consequences in arc 3, I'm sure, thus far we only see Ezran use them on another enemy he's willing to be increasingly violent with: Aaravos.

In 7x07, the Startouch elf offers up a double serving of manipulation — the bigger one being to join him and that he's humanity's ally, which Ezran steadfastly rejects, and the smaller one beneath regarding the Nova Blade (+ Callum), which Ezran 100% plays into. Both of these push Ezran further as a character.

The first avenue that Ezran rejects leads him to claim that:

I have allies already. The elves and dragons, fellow victims of your evil.

Even if the only elf he's currently working with is a recent addition is Terry, forcing Rayla and Runaan to go on the run in 7x02, and his draconic ally in Zym is deeply worried about Ezran and Aanya's project. But it shows that despite his coldness towards previous allies, Ezran still holds unity close and refuses to relinquish it entirely as an ideal.

Secondly, we have Ezran's choice to use the Nova Blade. This is both a departure and in line with his thoughts in 5x06:

CALLUM: We borrow this Nova Blade, wait for Aaravos to get out, and then just stab-stab, buh-bye bad guy. EZRAN: Wait, slow down. Shouldn't that be the last resort? If we can stop Aaravos from getting out at all, we can solve this without any violence.

On the one hand, Ezran in 7x08/09 is just following through with what he said here. If Aaravos was still trapped, they didn't need to resort to violence. Now that he's out, violence is accordingly on the table, just as Ezran said it would be. However, I think it still feels like a departure in some ways because of Ezran's repeated emphasis on strength and love over violence, and his choice (4x08, 5x06) to melt his father's sword down into a crown... only to now acquire a sword that isn't made for defense whatsoever, but for the express purpose of killing.

That said, more on the Nova Blade in a second.

For now, I want to return to the archdragons, and just do a little season track:

7x01: Ezran finds out an archdragon / former king of the dragons destroyed Katolis. Furious, he wants to destroy Sol Regem in turn, but cannot as the great dragon is already dead.

7x02: Ezran takes out his anger on Runaan, Zubeia's servant assassin.

7x03-7x05: Ezran goes with Aanya to learn how to build weapons that can stand a chance against dragons / archdragons, in spite of Zym's misgivings.

7x07: Despite Callum giving Ezran the mission to go retrieve Zubeia, Ez delegates it to his crownguard + Terry, choosing to remain in Katolis and converse with Aaravos instead to "keep [Aaravos] busy".

7x09: Ezran (and co.) are spared from sacrificing their lives and "everything we are" because of the archdragons, who all sacrifice themselves to stop Aaravos. Ezran holds Zym while his parents / Zubeia die, and then instructs a memorial to be created in the Valley of the Graves.

So, after a season of being angry at an archdragon, at seeing dragons as potential enemies... Ezran and everyone / everything he loves is saved by those very same creatures. Instead of destroyers who force him to sacrifice, they are saviours who choose to sacrifice on his behalf. This doesn't remove responsiblity from Ezran's shoulders per se—in many ways, a world without archdragons adds to it, as he states, "It's up to us now, Zym" (in a nice callback to 1x03)—but I do think it greatly contributes to his perspective in his closing scene this season.

One of the ways it does so is bringing back the gift motif from 4x08, not only in "worthy gifts of sacrifice" but in Ezran's realization that:

We offered gifts that meant a lot to us. But the truth is, they don't mean anything to you.

being directly contrasted in 7x09, with:

AARAVOS: And what will your sacrifices buy? A mere moment of peace before I return to a world without you? Without archdragons. Your deaths mean nothing.

EZRAN: They have given us a great gift. A chance to keep on living. Keep trying to be better.

The first time Ezran spoke of the dragons in 4x01, it was with excitement for Zubeia and Zym's visit to Katolis. He believed "it would change how people see dragons". He offered gifts of friendship and peace in the Valley of the Graves, only for the portrait to be defaced. By the end of season 7, Ezran's desire for people to see the dragons differently has come true, and his honouring of Zubeia is allowed to stand in a way that's far more permanent than a painting.

OPELI: It's the gift ceremony. I'm concerned that holding in the Valley of the Graves is insensitive. EZRAN: Wait, what? It's a sacred beautiful place. It's a place of peace. OPELI: Some people have come to me in confidence. They worry that honouring a dragon in a place that is a memorial to so many great humans, some of whom died at their hands, is offensive. (4x03)

EZRAN: Aaravos pushed us to to the brink. We were ready to sacrifice it all. Everything. You and me, Callum, Rayla... We almost gave up everything we are. But because of them, the archdragons, we didn't have to.

Now, I don't think this change at the end of the season will be enough necessarily for Ezran to halt Project Ruby Fire. I don't think it undoes the hard choices he's made or the things he's learned about himself. But I do think it asserts what he's aspiring towards, and helps direct himself to who he wants to be and how he's going to proceed going forward (Evrkynd, Runaan).

Speaking of which, let's finally talk about Runaan. Again.

A Phoenix

I've alluded to this this a bit before, but I think one of the main reasons Ezran chose to forgive Runaan was because of the archdragons' sacrifice. The dragons gave him a chance to keep living, to keep trying to be better—and Ezran then turns and gives that "great gift" in turn to Runaan. I don't know if I think that Ezran would've otherwise had Runaan executed, but forgiveness even more than just being spared is a much more active choice in a lot of ways, and not something that Ezran had to conflate, but chose to.

The other reason I think Ezran chose to forgive Runaan is because, as of the end of S7, he's been Runaan.

As an assassin, I had convinced myself that I was a kind of peacemaker. A twisted peacemaker, I suppose. I believed that my act of precision violence was preferable... necessary, even, to prevent far greater bloodshed.

[...] I was trained to accept that I was already dead, so that I might carry out my dark work without fear. But I am not dead. I am alive. I have a family I love. I have so much to lose, the very things I took from you.

"They have given us a great gift. A chance to keep on living."

Ezran now understands how someone can believe that to keep back chaos and death, you have to kill another person. To believe in your bones that someone has to die, even if that means your own destruction. That doesn't mean Runaan was right about Harrow, or that Ezran is necessarily wrong about Aaravos, but the journey to get there, the mindset, of how undeterred you are when you reach that place... Ezran's been there. He knows, now, in ways he didn't before.

He forgave Zubeia because everything was complicated: because he could relate to longing for his mother (Zym), to watching his father grieve his wife the same way Zubeia was grieving Avizandum, to wanting to protect his kingdom (Avizandum). To grieving family. Of a child who had lost things.

He forgives Runaan because he can understand being an assassin, and already dead, and realizing you almost lost / have forsaken your family along the way. Of violence testing you, and failing, and having to try again. To reforge yourself into something new—because the true heart you had before is gone, but that doesn't mean your heart is.

Ezran stands in front of the fireplace twice in season 7. The first is with Zym in 7x02 and where he has his initial disagreement with Callum. The second time is with Runaan in 7x09, a fire in his eyes. This evokes not only Ezran's fury and association with the dragons, but also the framing of Aaravos from earlier in the season.

Ezran once asked if he was now the king of ashes. 7x09 demands him to answer if he wants to keep being a King of Ashes. If he wants to continue feeding his anger and hate, if he wants to continue fuelling the fire of hatred and grief within him. And Ezran says no. He says yes to forgiveness, though this time, he does not know the way:

EZRAN: But it's not that simple or easy. [...] Somehow, we have to hold it all in our hearts at the same time. (4x03) CALLUM: But somehow, you got past that. You forgave her, because everything was complicated. (7x02) EZRAN: I'm going to forgive you. I don't know how, but I have to try. (7x09)

He is presented with a phoenix (Runaan, back from the grave) and chooses to become one himself, and welcome back in all the other pillars of identity that had been crumbling over the past season.

EZRAN: I think about the people I love who are counting on me to do the right thing. Not the strong thing, not the harsh thing. The right thing. Do you love your sister, Prince Karim? (6x07)

It's sort of fitting, then, that in choosing once again to be Harrow's son (positive), he's presented with a more literal bird phoenix in "Harrow's soul in is in Pip" then, too.

And the same rebirth goes for the world around him, too.

ASTRID: Everything burns when a star dies. (7x09)

OPELI: King Ezran... perhaps it is finally time to rebuild. EZRAN: No. It's time to build something new. [...] Our world faced its end. But we survived. And on the other side, we find ourselves at a new beginning. [...] There is no such thing as utopia. But with hard work and discipline, persistence and patience, we can build a better place.

The Crown, Again (reforge into something new)

So I've talked about the reflection motif, and I've talked now about the phoenix motif. There's still more I could touch on in regards to Ezran's whole thing with Aaravos and the Orphan Queen, the layers of Aaravos' manipulation, the theme of following in your predecessors' footsteps and the good and harm that can come of it, but that's probably a meta for another day. For now, I want to return to the Need motif we touched on earlier.

TDP is very interested in questioning what characters deem necessary. Thus far, this was mostly done through Aaravos ("Aaravos did what was necessary" / "we will do what must be done"), Claudia ("I did what I had to do" / "Maybe he's just doing what needs to be done" / Whatever it takes, however dangerous, however vile"), and Viren ("I tried to explain that I had only done what was necessary"). S7 starts to shift gears and push further at the main trio, questioning and picking apart some of their mindsets (which again, could be a meta on its own) in regards to what sort of violence they believe is necessary and why, only for none of it to actually have been so because of the Archdragons. A nice little meta-narrative reflection.

What I want to actually focus on here is Ezran's idea of need. This is usually couched within his place of being king, and loyalty to his kingdom, as we've seen previously ("But Katolis needs me" / "You are the king of Katolis, and your people need you").

EZRAN: I wish [Zym] could come with me too, but you need to go be with your mom. That's your home. Both of us need to go home. (2x09)

So Ezran believes that needs to be king because Katolis needs him. Great. What does Ezran need?

Season 7 gives various answers, according to himself:

"Callum. High Mage. We need you at this council meeting" (7x02)

"We can't let [Callum] get away with it. Corvus, I need you to track them" (7x03)

"I need to protect [my people]" (7x03)

"Destiny works in mysterious ways. The Novablade came to my ancestor, only to be lost for generations until we needed it" (7x09).

The other people in his life have other ideas, as discussed.

ZUBEIA: But Zym, you must go. Your brother Ezran needs you. (6x02)

AANYA: But you need to know that you and Callum are not broken. The both of you will heal one day. You're brothers.

CALLUM: Mom said it was okay to be angry, but I couldn't let the bad feelings stick. Because we were going to need each other. Because we're brothers. I still need you, Ezran.

Broken things can be mended. Crowns and swords can be reforged. People can be, too. As much as Ezran loves his council and his crownguard, he needs people who don't just see him as king. Callum is not his High Mage, but will always be his brother, and that's what's most important. He needs Callum and Rayla and Zym; he needs Aanya who can help keep him grounded. He needs his family because they help keep him who he is as much as he has for them in the past ("Don't you remember who you are?" in 4x07) now that it is up to them to maintain it, and the archdragons are gone.

And to be himself, Ezran needs to be:

Harrow's son with accordance to a Narrative of Love

The King of Katolis

Callum, Zym, and Rayla's brother

rising from the ashes and bringing others up with him, over and over again the way he always has. The way he always will.

Because not all cycles are bad, either.

Conclusion

As stated, there's more to Ezran's arc in S7: ideas of history and half-truths, of chains and Startouch elves, of home and memorials. Of what we carry against our will, what we choose to set down, and vice versa. What this meta was, then, was the first at likely two passes, focusing on Ezran's emotional state(s) throughout the season and his emotional processing. More structural and thematic based analyses of his character in S7 / across the show thus far will definitely folllow.

For now, though, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed a bit of a deeper dive!

All hail the king.

#ezran #tdp ezran #tdp meta #tdp #the dragon prince #tdp spoilers #s7 spoilers #arc 2 #s7 #7x02 #7x03 #7x09 #analysis series #analysis #reflection motif #need motif #phoenix motif #i spent 2.5 weeks on this im so glad it's finally done

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respectthepetty · 4 months ago

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The Heart Killers' Colors? - Finale

There comes a moment where I continuously run into walls when I'm trying to figure out the colors in a show, so I finally just start Bird-Boxing it (stop seeing the colors and just start enjoying the feels), and now that I am watching the last episode of this series, I have decided it's time to forget the colors and embrace the vibes. Therefore, I'm Bird-Boxing it.

Because if I weren't, I'd be big mad that even with the divider in the way to give me the perspective of being in prison, Kant and Style are wearing whatever colors they are wearing right now when I fully believe Kant is a Green Guy and Style is a Red Rascal.

But like most white cops, I'm only seeing what I want to.

And what I'm choosing to see is Style FINALLY wearing that amazing pink top as he openly announces that he wants to touch the man he loves to Kant (in blue?!) and this cop who I feel was not homophobic when this all started but is slowly beginning to hate the gays after having to deal with Style regularly.

But it works! And Kant is now teaching art in the prison while wearing . . . orange? Red? I don't know. I said I was Bird-Boxing this, and that's what I'm going to do, so I need to be more invested in the simple fact that Kant did not allow Bison to keep the broken pencil to shank the next man who thinks he can run up on him. Smart move, Kant. We don't want more prison time!

Fadel has been in prison for one whole day and, somehow, looks even more angelic. Baby, not murdering people looks good on you. It makes your skin glow.

Or is it love that makes Fadel look good? Because I'd also look happy if I turned a corner in prison and saw this fine man standing in front of me instead of the little bit of rage I'm currently feeling since Style is wearing green. /Bird Box\

OH THANK GOODNESS! HE HEARD ME! Style, you have always been my favorite . . . after Fadel, so you deserve to get choked by your man today (because we know you like it!).

Kant is going to stay on his bullshit I see, but I am surprised that in this GMMTV prison, they change uniforms every single year when I can't even get tres leches in this economy.

Speaking of GMMTV - Break. Up. The. Ships. We all know what I'm talking about here.

Bison has a big bro and now a big sis. I also sit like this in my chanclas and short shorts when I'm minding other people's business. I trust this one with my life and my sexual exploits.

I know prison sex is happening and that should take priority, but Kant is wearing red, which is Red Rascal Bison's color, on the day that they have sex, and I think that is peak romance. Bison and I are easy. Wear our color and have sex with us in public places, so we know it's real. Simple!

But I am shocked that Style is not having public prison sex too! Instead, he is having to handle Fadel pouting because our Black Brooder is still so scared to lose Style that he will push him away first. Style, you are now my favorite. You show that man you a crazy committed. Emphasis on "crazy."

I know that was Jojo, but I have a 30 images limit AND NOW STYLE IS WEARING RED AGAIN and lying about Fadel going to culinary school! I knew there was a reason he was my favorite. Lie, Laugh, Love, babygirl.

Babe has not been around much, but this is a deep kid with all his Shakespeare books and giving Bison The Count of Monte Cristo. Of course he would want his brother's name. He is going to do well in life because his bother raised him right and especially because while his brother honeymooned on an island for Lord only knows how long after being taken hostage, Babe was fine by himself. I didn't forget that even if the plot did.

Fadel, my little emo homo is a clear case of "you can take the black off the brooder, but he will never stop brooding" because the way he is still upset that he misses Style when he isn't around is so endearing. He needs to go back to that support group when he gets out though because this is ~trauma~ speaking.

BUT THEY'RE FREE!!!!! (and nobody is in their color because this show hates me)

I already knew Style had bought the restaurant back, so I don't know why I'm acting surprised right now, but I think it's the way Fadel is looking at him with so much love that is just hitting me right in my feels.

And even though I know now is not the time to state this as everyone is getting kidnapped, I can't help but notice Khaotung is beautiful. Not Bison. Khaotung. I did not appreciate him enough in this show. I''m sorry, beautiful.

I could tell Lilly had lost her money because her invite was in Sharpie like a last minute garage sale sign. She could've saved the paper and sent a text. Also, when did they learn English in Hitman School? Between Guns 101 and Poisons 210?

I feel this way when I visit my family too, guys. And by that, I mean awkward, hostile, and most times as if I'm there as a forced hostage. BUT BISON AND FADEL ARE WEARING THEIR COLORS!!!! Kant and Style though? /Bird Box\

Forgive me, Father, for I know this devil has done wrong, but I am still very attracted to her. I think I can save her, and if not, at least I can have a good time trying. Amen.

I thought they should've shot her in the bathroom long ago, so I ain't mad that murder is back on the (dinner) table after she was trying to kill the last living parent and Babe! She did trained her sons to finish the job, so she should at least be proud that she trained them well, but I really wanted Keen to come in and finally show her he was capable of seeing a murder all the way through. I also didn't forget abut him even if the plot did.

They just murdered their mother, so shooting the beginning of the scene behind the bars isn't funny, but what is funny is the fact that I know people with felonies can get into Iceland without a special visa unlike other countries. I learned this from a lesbian when I went there for Pride a few years ago. We were discussing sheep, so it clearly made sense within the conversation.

STYLE GOT THE CAR! THE PLOT DID NOT FORGET! And the dots on the die keychain are red!

Fadel is too pretty to be looking at his man like that after five years of being locked up. This man is about to get that good shit! Every. Single. Day.

FADEL LOVES HIM 100%!

Even though I have Bird-Boxed my way through the colors in this final episode (yes, I have), I like that the boys ended up in Iceland seeing the Northern Lights, so they have a green coloring to them (for a Green Guy?!). Also, I highly suggest going to Iceland. Björk, as an institution, makes sense once you visit. Trust me.

And now Fadel doesn't give two shits about Style driving safely because he found love in a hopeless place, and if they die in Bangkok traffic, they'll die together (since Fadel already has the graves dug).

In conclusion, Fadel is a Black Brooder, Bison is a Red Rascal, and much like Fadel in love, I don't give two effs what anybody has to say because according to me, myself, and yo, Style is also a Red Rascal, and Kant is a Green Guy.

But I wouldn't know any of that because /Bird Box\

#the heart killers #the colors mean things #color coded boys in love #episode twelve #I cannot believe they stayed in jail for five years #what happened to be gay do crime?#that was rude #but all ended well and everything was resolved #except the colors #but I don't care about that #because FADEL IS HAPPY!!!!#and that's all that really matters #long post

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brucewaynehater101 · 1 year ago

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Fuck yeah! I just love it when Tim makes a name for himself and his own place to help people using his resources instead of Bruce's resources. It's just something so dear to my heart.

Also it would be really funny if Tim wasn't only hiring other people goons. Like yeah, he's stealing all of Lex's workers, but he's also taking Joker's and Bane's and Penguin's and Two Face's. He put up a policy that said, "we hire (most) all felons. Crimes do not matter, unless certain scenarios such as crimes of a sexual nature." Which means most of the Henchmen who are only that because they can't get a legal job? They *flock* to Tim.

Tim also hires villians as well. He offers Ivy a job studying plants and green solutions to make the company better. He offers Harley a job as a nurse. He even goes to other cities to offer jobs to other heroes rouges such as giving Chershire a job trying to find holes in his security so he can patch them, Captian Cold works as a security guard, and Metallo works in some of the research labs working with chemicals that humans can't touch or testing new cybernetics that allow him to actually feel.

I am fully under the belief that a lot of DC rogues/villains/criminals would pursue an "honest" line of work if they had that choice/ability. This is why fics or AUs of one of the Bats (I am more partial to Tim, but I'd also so be down for Barbara) figuring out how to incorporate better social programs and supports to cut down crime.

There will be people who commit atrocities for the hell of it (fuck you Joker), but most of DC's villains have a just reason for their actions (even though the execution is poor).

Now, Tim cutting down crime through social programs and hiring people more so than the JL lowered crime since its founding? That would be fucking hilarious.

I would love to see more fics of different rogues getting their needs met and having options outside of the path DC made for them. Your examples are great, and I'd love more

#dc comics #tim drake #dc universe #dc au #thank you for the ask!!!!

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sadlybluespirited · 2 months ago

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Rambling Thoughts

Rhysand, Cassian and Azriel have their trauma all situated in the violence against female Illyrians. Their mothers are all their starting points. Rhysand's mother's wings being almost clipped, Cassian's birth being a sexually violent act committed against his mother, Azriel's mother being cast out of a home with little financial recourse and restricted from having access to her (presumably) only child. These are all where their stories are written to have started and shaped who they are. There is a brotherly bond formed in part because of this history when they find each other. However there's also a level of exceptionalism in their story.

All three somehow escape the trappings of becoming like their male peers. One thing that makes them even more different. Cassian's poverty, Rhysand's half high fae status. I'm assuming for Azriel, it's his stunted growth from years of abuse and his status as a shadowsinger. Illyria primarily serves as a backdrop to their stories hence the nonexistent world building in the story which becomes confusing given the misogynistic society they live in, Cassian wouldn't be the only child born from such an act and given that EDIT: (it's female Illyrians, not male Illyrians who sometimes have children outside of Illyria) male Illyrians have children outside of Illyria) seen in some of the text I've seen from acosf, there's half Illyrian children running around somewhere in Prythian like Rhysand. Yet we don't see Cassian nor Rhysand make any effort towards seeking out these individuals, seeing tragedy in other male Illyrian stories. They don't really form part of the narrative. It's only these three. We don't even know much about Devlon (not excusing his misogyny) and his upbringing. We just know he's the most agreeable male Illyrian so far. So I'd argue that from what I've seen (everything before acosf), Cassian and Rhysand primarily are detached from their male counterparts as a whole. They "love their people but..." is referenced in the text and I've asked myself, what do you love about them? I never really felt like I had an answer. It might be that they say this because their mothers were Illyrians and for them to fully hate Illyria means they hate them too. We know Rhysand's mother wanted Rhys to understand his culture and had him raised in it. But what is it exactly that they love about their people? Neither Rhysand nor Cassian show any visible sign of love for their people when they're in Illyria. Illyria is almost treated like a headache or a stubborn child that won't listen. One if the few times Cassian is referenced as grinning in regards to male Illyrians (when it's not a joke being made about their sexual prowess and before acosf) is when Rhysand tells him to go and enact violence towards the Illyrians males who won't listen to orders (the orders being that female Illyrians are not to be doing chores before training). SJM's habit of poor world building means we don't know anything about the male Illyrians outside of their capacity to be violent and misogynistic. We're kind of not meant to. We're not meant to know that there could very well be other male Illyrians like Cassian, Rhysand or Azriel because then they become less special. If any male Illyrian does come out of this story, I guarantee you that SJM will tie that male character to one of the three, implying that they alone can see misogyny and correct it. That no one else in Illyria grew up like they did and turned out less (?) misogynistic. Because the backdrop of Illyria is meant to serve primarily Cassian and Rhysand as the good natured male Illyrians who just want less misogyny in the world. It's meant to uphold their exceptionalism. SJM will not allow Illyria and other male Illyrians to contradict Cassian and Rhys (and to a lesser extent Azriel). So we're stuck with a society that probably won't fully form itself beyond its current state.

#sjm critical #anti rhysand #Anti Cassian #acotar critical #I don't think some of these tags are entirely correct but just to be safe

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theambitiouswoman · 16 days ago

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Hey. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, long distance, we live in the same country and he sees me every second week (I live alone and he lives with his family still). Things have generally been good — we see each other regularly, go on trips, and he's kind and generous in many ways.

But there’s something that’s been bothering me for a while now: in all this time, I still haven’t been to his home, met his parents or siblings, or really been introduced to his friend group. The only family I've met are his grandparents (once). I, on the other hand, have really opened my life to him — he’s met my family (who live in another country), been to my flat multiple times, met my friends, etc.

I’ve brought this up a few times and he reassures me that he’s serious and loves me. But the situation hasn’t changed. I’m starting to feel… uneasy. Like maybe he’s hiding something or isn’t as serious as he says. I’m not looking to pressure anyone, but after this long, is this kind of emotional distance something I should be worried about?

What do you think causes someone to delay or avoid this kind of integration? Is this common? Or does it signal a lack of investment? I'd love your advice

Hi beautiful girl

A year and a half is a long time and it makes sense to feel uneasy when you’ve welcomed him fully into your life

In my humble opinion, when someone avoids integrating their partner into their family or friend circle, it can mean a few things, some times it’s personal or complicated (like a bad family dynamic or they’re not a family person) but other times it does point to emotional distance or hesitation to fully commit

It’s not about pressure it’s about clarity. Saying he’s serious but not backing it up with action creates confusion. You’re simply asking for mutual effort, which is completely reasonable. Actions are very important. He can say anything but his actions needs to back it up. And if he cares, and it’s important to you, it’s worth the conversation and him considering your feelings here if I’m being completely honest

If this continues, it’s fair to question whether the relationship is truly aligned with you. You deserve to feel secure, not left guessing where you stand. You don’t deserve half measures. A year and a half is alot of YOUR TIME and LOVE and you deserve to receive as much as you’re giving. The right partner will show you you’re part of their world not just say it

I hope it works out how you want it to 🤍

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thewertsearch · 10 months ago

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Anonymous asked: hussies commentary actually implies that eridan was already planning on destroying the matriorb: ‘ Eridan says he has to "help Kanaya out with this thing" but doesn't actually say what he means by that. There are a bunch of little ambiguities like this leading up to what happens next, disguising his sinister intent. Or maybe hinting at it, if you have keen senses. We are merely pages away from Eridan fully embracing his role as the incel murderboy he was always meant to be.’ @lipstickchainsaw asked: I always interpreted Eridan offering to 'help' with the Matriorb to be this, honestly. @krixwell asked: Eridan didn't exactly commit to helping with the Matriorb, did he? I believe his words were "I demand to be invvolvved." He certainly invvolvved himself. Anonymous asked: Consider that Kanaya’s Chastity Modus only allowed her to find the key to withdraw the matriorb… in time for Eridan to decide to destroy it. Combine that with Eridan offering help because the task sounded “hopeful”, and that he subsequently declared to the others that there was “no hope left” before literally “Hopesplode”-ing the matriorb, maybe he intended to destroy it all along to fulfill his old genocidal ambitions. And that it was DESTINED to be destroyed, of all things…

It's true that his prior statements can be interpreted in this manner - but if this was his plan all along, it's still idiotic. He wanted to kill the lowbloods, but destroying the orb ensures that all trolls will go extinct, his caste included.

I'm not sure I buy Hussie's assertion that this twist was foreshadowed, either. Sure, his lines were ambiguous in retrospect, but you certainly couldn't have predicted his next move from them. He certainly did have murderboy vibes, but his decision to destroy the Matriorb, specifically, still feels like it came out of the blue.

Like, what was the point? Why end your whole race on a whim? Did you want to wipe out the highbloods? If so, why?

Anonymous asked: HOPESPLODE! what a sound effect. for a guy who's supposed to be all about hope he certainly seems to have taken a pretty intense stand Against hope, broadly, going so far as to actively destroy the Hope of a future for trolls as a species. i think eridan spending the whole session killing all the angels on his planet goes along with this, if you think about the angels as the decidedly Hopey part of his land title. he was killing hope then and he's killing hope now. actively refusing his aspect. @gamblingenderman asked: In response to you seeing Eridan being very stupid, I'd like to know what your theories are on his role as Prince of Hope.

Well, he's a Prince, which implies that he's supposed to command or control his Aspect in some way. Maybe his instincts were telling him that Kanaya's mission of hope was his birthright, and he needed to commandeer it for himself.

If any Class would feel a particularly strong sense of 'ownership' over their Aspect, it would be the Prince. Maybe he just didn't think Kanaya's hope for the Matriorb was one he would approve of, so he needed to stop it at any cost.

#homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5.2 #asks

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cantareincminor · 5 months ago

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Day 28: Favorite Theory for the End

I haven't looked into many fan theories for the end! But I did write my own version of the end in my longest fic, tying up Project Apple and other political threads.

Spitballing, I think the canon ending is likely to have these elements (rather boring predictions):

Forgers stay together, Twilight is allowed to retire as Loid Forger (there is precedent for this in the lives of real spies)

War is averted, and Ostania and Westalis establish more peaceful ties

All of the Forgers' individual secrets are revealed to each other, and while the journey to acceptance may be rocky (especially between Twilight and Yor), they ultimately forgive and understand each other

The "bad guys"---the political and scientific figures behind Project Apple, plus the warmongers, are defeated

Bonus: Franky gets a girlfriend!

Beyond this, there are more nuanced questions I'd like to explore:

Will Twilight have to leave the Forgers at some point?

This one's 50/50 to me. Having Twilight disappear for a while--whether it's because his cover is blown or because WISE needs him elsewhere--could introduce a lot of active tension and mystery. From a storytelling perspective, if Endo chose not to reveal Twilight's fate or narrate from his POV for an entire arc, it would help put the spotlight on other characters and give them a chance to shine.

It would force characters like Yor and Anya to change the status quo of their behavior, ask questions, hunt for answers. Especially if Anya came clean to her mother about her and Bond's powers and was able to assist in finding Twilight and helping him out of whatever predicament he might be in.

Will Twilight and Thorn Princess have to fight each other, even if just for a few minutes when they're taken off guard?

This one's 75% likely to me. While Endo teased it in Yor's drunken imagination, that could still have been legit foreshadowing of the eventual showdown. There are so many great fics about Twilight and Thorn Princess running into each other on the job by accident that explore this already, I won't go into the potential setup here.

The main reason I think it's likely is because the whole premise of the story is these two extremely competent underground professionals from opposing countries living together and having no clue about the other's identity. It would make sense for them to have an explosive surprise encounter where the house of cards falls apart.

But what happens after the encounter is the main question. Does one of them leave the Forgers? Do they fully come clean or does Twilight continue to lie and try to trick Yor? Does all the trust they have accumulated in their relationship vanish and have to be painstakingly rebuilt? Or will it be a quieter scenario where they each own up to their guilt, and commit to understanding the other? I'd like to lean toward the latter, especially with Twilight's personal philosophy of relentlessly trying to understand every unknown he comes across. As he told Donovan Desmond, he believes that it's worth trying to understand other people even though it's very difficult.

Will Anya be captured/threatened by Project Apple in some way?

75% likely. This again has been explored in many fics.

From a storytelling perspective this makes sense because it would serve as a unifying factor for Twilight and Thorn Princess to work together, and WISE and Garden perhaps as well (or for their best operatives to go rogue, which can be even more interesting).

Anya, and children as a whole, are cast as the beacons of hope and innocence, worth protecting at all costs, throughout the narrative. This is apparent from chapter 1 when Twilight reveals his inner motivation is to make a world where children don't have to cry. It's reemphasized through Yor's own backstory of raising Yuri at great cost to herself; when we see Twilight's own tragic backstory of everything he lost and how he became a spy; when Sigmund Authen says that children are the world's greatest treasure; when Jeeves looks on Damian and his friends and is happy to see him loosen up and be himself, instead of constantly feeling burdened by adults' expectations. All this is to say that, when an author sets up a person/concept like this as "The Precious" in a story, they're likely to threaten it with grave danger as the pinnacle of the conflict--for all the competing sides to give up their differences and come together over the one thing they can agree on.

Will any important characters die?

75% likely. To fuel the narrative, Endo may kill someone off, as is common in longer mangas. The convenient way to do this is with an older mentor figure like Sylvia or McMahon--which leaves their subordinates devastated and lost and looking for answers or retribution. If Sylvia dies, Twilight may be forced to step up as commanding officer of WISE until the parent organization can send a replacement.

Other than that, I really have no clue.

How will Yor and Yuri confront each other about their respective secrets?

I believe this will happen after Twilight and Yor find out about each other. It might come as part of the identity reveal convo, where Twilight discloses this to Yor. He would definitely need to prevent her from giving away any signs to Yuri that her husband is a spy.

Other than that, I really have no clue again, lol

And finally, a less important question, but one I've seen fans debate about now and then: will Twilight and Yor have more children together?

50/50. (This includes both biological children and adopting--to cover the possibility that one or both of them have become infertile due to the demands of their jobs.)

Obviously I do not think this will happen until way later, after all the identity reveals, after peace has been achieved. Endo might conclude the manga with a timeskip to show what our main cast's lives are like (and the overall political landscape), and that might be when we glimpse a Twiyor baby or two.

From discussions with other fans, I think that opinions about the "Twiyor baby" largely hinge on a fan's personal preference for whether they want children in their own lives. Of course there are exceptions, but in general, fans who have or want children of their own headcanon that Twiyor will have more children, while those who don't want children hc that Twiyor will stick with just Anya.

Given that much of this question is speculating on future Twilight and Yor (I'd say at least 3 canonical years after where we currently are in the manga), it's really hard to say where their mindset will be at that point. But, I'd say Yor is more likely to want another child than Twilight. Family life with the Forgers has given her new purpose and joy; she loves being a mom to Anya, and whenever we see memories of her youth, we see her happily taking care of Yuri and treasuring those times with him. Twilight, on the other hand, needs to undergo A LOT of character growth before he'll even consider a question like this. Right now he doesn't even acknowledge Anya and Yor as his family beyond mission purposes, is trying to emotionally distance himself from them, and is still committed to the whole "hero who casts no shadow" business.

Thanks for reading this far if you made it down here!

#spy x family #loid forger #yor forger #twiyor #agent twilight #anya forger #sxf #spyxfamilychallenge #sxfchallenge

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malfoy-mrsdracomalfoy · 4 months ago

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Duality Of Man

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mention and use of alcohol, some violence, use of weapons, bad mental health, suicidal thoughts and actions, self-harm, mention of blood and some horror-esque scenes. Extreme angst.

Word Count: 2519

Summary: Reader and Draco dive into the darkest parts of Draco's mind.

Read with caution. I marked where the dark stuff starts and where it ends. <3

Reader's Point Of View

"Careful, keep drinking with me and you'll do something crazy." Draco teases from his place on the couch next to me.

I giggle and settle into the couch. "Like?" I watch his features with an amused smile. His eyes drop to my lips briefly before he says,

"Answer intrusive questions" He says, his guard down thanks to the alcohol. "Without a filter." He grins lopsidedly, taking another swig of firewhisky from his crystal glass. We've been drinking and chatting for a few hours and it's clear he's tipsy now.

"Maybe it is the alcohol talking, but that sounds fun. Want to ask some now?" I ask, tongue slightly loosened from the cosmopolitans I've been drinking tonight. He grins mischievously, refilling his cup and then setting the bottle down to face me fully. "Alright, I'll go first." He leans in closer, his voice low and conspiratorial. "If you could have one thing, anything in the world, what would it be?"

"Does it need to be material, or can it be a concept?" I ask thoughtfully. His eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles genuinely. "Concepts are allowed." He confirms, taking a sip from his glass. His eyes drop to my visible collarbone briefly before meeting my eyes again. "So?" He prompts softly, his shoulders relaxed.

"Anything in the world, huh?" I say as I suck my teeth in thought. "Now that's a question." He leans back, draping his arm along the back of the couch casually. "Yep, anything." He confirms with a smirk, his free hand idly playing with the hem of his shirt. I can tell he's genuinely curious and finding this alcohol-influenced interrogation strangely bonding.

"Devotion. Either someone devoted to me, or a purpose I'm devoted to." I say after some thought. His expression softens unexpectedly at my answer, something genuine showing in his eyes. He takes another drink, swallowing hard before asking me his next question. "And which would you settle for if you could only choose one?" His voice is lower now, almost intimate.

"You'll think me a sappy romantic." I say as I sip my cosmopolitan.

"Probably." He chuckles softly, his shoulders shaking slightly with the action. "Answer the question, kid." His eyes drop to my lips again briefly. I can tell he's tipsy enough that he's not filtering his thoughts.

I think carefully before deciding to be honest, even if it's something I'm hesitant in admitting. "Someone devoted to me that I was also devoted to. A shared, romantic devotion." I tell him softly, almost shy. "What about you then? Don't say something expected like 'wealth' or 'power'. Dig deeper." I lean in, watching him intently. He swallows hard under my intense gaze, and I can tell my question hit him deeper than he expected.

"Honest answer?" He asks softly, his eyes meeting mine- his tipsiness has his guard lowered. "No judgement?"

"No judgement." I confirm. He takes a deep breath, his fingers wrapping around his glass tightly. "Belonging." He admits, his eyes searching mine for a reaction. "I'd choose belonging. Somewhere I fit perfectly, where I'm needed and wanted. Where I'm safe." I smile warmly at him, appreciating his honesty.

"I see some parallels between our desires. They both create a sense of connection, and deep commitment." I say approvingly.

"They are similar." He laughs softly, almost in disbelief , "Incredible." He looks at me thoughtfully for a few moments before asking, "Another question?" He asks, his voice lower. The both of us find this game strangely intimate, like we're sharing secrets. I nod and he leans forward slightly, his elbows on his knees as he gazes into his glass contemplatively. When he glances up at me, a crooked smirk plays at his lips. "Do you think you can handle an awkwardly honest question?" His eyebrow arches teasingly, a playful challenge in his eyes.

"I can handle it."

"Alright then." He starts, his voice a bit unsteady. He takes a deep breath, his eyes avoiding mine momentarily. "Why do you think I've always been so... cold? Distant?" He asks abruptly, the question hanging in the air like a confession.

"To protect yourself." I say honestly, watching his face. His eyes meet mine, showing a vulnerability he never lets anyone else see. "From what?" He asks, voice low.

"Vulnerability, and maybe even love. Because love can lead to heartbreak." I answer him. He nods slowly, a wistful smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Smart woman." He murmurs, his fingers absently running along the rim of his glass. "Exactly right. Funny thing is..." He pauses, glancing up at me. He swallows hard, his eyes back on the glass. "I'm terrified of getting close to people." He admits quietly, his voice barely audible. "I'm terrified they'll see all my shitty parts and leave."

"I know exactly what you mean. I'm afraid to reveal my darkness, too. I'm sometimes afraid it'll swallow me whole." I say, matching his tone. He looks up sharply at my words, a flicker of understanding passing between us two. He sets his glass down with a soft clink, leaning forward slightly. "But what if there was someone who knew your darkness?" He says, voice rough and eyes locked onto mine intently. "Someone who saw it all and didn't run? Who understood it, maybe even liked you despite it?"

"One can dream" I sigh wistfuly "I'm attracted to darkness too, you know. In people, in things. But I don't see how someone would be attracted to mine. It's... scary, twisted even."

"Maybe that's what draws me to you." He murmurs, his voice nearly silent. He reaches a hand out, his fingers hovering just above my hand before gently laying them on top.

"You're attracted to my darkness? Here I thought I hid it so well." I joke lightly.

“You do." He answers simply, his fingers toying with mine absently. "You hide it like I hide my soft spots. Like you're afraid someone will see and use it against you." He says.

"If I asked you to reveal one dark thing about yourself- would you?" I ask. His gaze drops to my hand, his fingers tightening around mine slightly. "One dark thing." He repeats softly, his voice thick with hesitation. "Alright, but you have to promise not to judge me or use it against me." He looks up at me, his eyes searching mine for a promise.

"I swear it." I tell him, voice strong with conviction. He takes a deep breath, steeling himself. "Alright then." He starts slowly, his voice dropping lower. "You know how I said I'm terrified of getting close to people? Of them seeing my darkness?" He pauses, jaw clenching slightly. "Well.. sometimes.. when someone gets too close, actually starts to understand me..." He takes a shaky breath. "I want to ruin them. Destroy them before they can destroy me." He whispers the last part, looking down at our intertwined hands again. "I've actually hurt people. Good people." I nod, thoughtful.

"You protect yourself at any cost." He looks up at me, surprised by my understanding. "Yes" he breathes, relieved I haven't pulled away in horror. "I'm so fucking scared of being vulnerable that I'd rather push people away, and hurt them rather than risk getting hurt myself." He admits, his voice cracking slightly.

"What if I told you that doesn't scare me? What if I told you I wanted to know more, to delve into the darkest parts of you? Not to exploit or judge, but to see. To feel as you do." After those words leave my mouth, Draco stares at me, his breath catching in his throat. I see an unbidden shudder run through him.

"You want to see my darkness, truly?" He whispers, a note of disbelief coloring his tone. I nod.

"Very much so."

"You have no idea what you're actually asking." His whispers, his voice hoarse with a mix of fear and... desire? His free hand comes up to gently cup my cheek, his thumb tracing my bottom lip. "My darkness... it's real. It's ugly. It's fucking terrifying."

"Show me and let me figure it out for myself." I say to him, uninhibited. Just pure, raw honesty. "Show me yourself, Draco Malfoy." He freezes, his eyes darting between mine, trying to read if I'm serious. He finds no walls, no lies, just honest curiosity and something deeper- acceptance. "You want to see the real me? The ugly parts?"

"I want to swim in them. Fully immerse myself." He looks into my eyes, seeing the sincerity there, and something inside him snaps. "Fuck." He breathes, setting his glass aside and standing up. "Follow me." I set my cosmo down and follow him. He leads me out of the common room, down a few corridors and into a hidden room I've never seen before. It's dimly lit, with shelves lined with ancient tomes and strange artifacts. In the center of the room is a large, ornate mirror. "Sit." He says firmly. I sit.

He stands behind me, his hands resting on my shoulders. "Look into the mirror," He instructs, his voice low and steady. "I'll show you my darkness." He leans down, his lips brushing against my ear "But once you see it, there's no going back." I nod and look into the mirror.

Warning! It gets really dark and triggering here.

As soon as my gaze meets the mirror's the room begins to distort and ripple. The glass seems to melt, revealing a dark, twisted landscape behind it. The air grows cold, and I can see my breath misting in front of me. Suddenly, a figure steps out from the shadows.

The figure is tall, muscular with stark white hair and cold, ice-blue eyes. He's shirtless, his body covered in scars and there's a large tattoo of the dark mark on his forearm. His mouth curls into a cruel smirk, his eyes meeting mine. It's unmistakably Draco, but... darker. Draco's physical body is pristine, completely free of even a blemish. Seeing the psychological scars stirs a feeling of recognition in me. I have some, too.

His reflection leans closer to me, his icy eyes boring into mine. "Welcome to my nightmare." he murmurs, his voice sending chills down my spine. "Everything here..." He gestures to the twisted landscape behind him "... every shadow, every scar, every ugly thought.. it's all a part of me. The cold, cruel parts I hide. The selfish, violent impulses. The deep-seated fear of being weak, of needing anyone." His reflected image traces a finger down the mirror, as if touching my cheek. "This is what I am beneath the mask."

"Will you show me more?" I ask, eyes searching the distorted Draco's face. He raises an eyebrow, amused by my fascination.

"You really want to see more?" He asks, his smirk widening maniacally. "You want to see how I deal with my anger? How I handle pain?" I nod. Draco straightens up behind me, his reflected image stepping aside to reveal a gruesome scene behind him filled with blood, mayhem, and screaming. Dark shadows dart around, as if playing hide and seek. I hear the echo of a very cruel and twisted version of Draco's laughter.

To the side is a practice dummy, riddled with knife wounds. His reflected self walks over to it, picking up the knife still lodged over where the heart would be. The reflection moves fluidly, quickly- almost aggressively- driving the knife into the dummy with precise, controlled strikes. Each thrust shows a mix of skill and barely-restrained rage. "This is how I deal with overwhelming emotions. Violence. Sometimes brutal." His reflected image steps closer. "You want to see something else?" He asks, a dark promise in his eyes. "Something... scarier?" I nod.

The reflected image slowly traces a finger down its own chest, following the path of a deep scar. "Some of these scars are from duels, others are from self-harm." He meets my gaze steadily. His reflected self continues tracing other scars for a few moments. Then, his finger caresses the thin skin of his wrist where a particularly thick scar resides. "This one is from cutting." His voice cracks slightly, the admission raw and painful, never spoken about with anyone else.

"When the darkness feels too much... I used to hurt myself to make it stop. To make the mental pain turn physical because at least those could heal. I've sliced myself up until I bled, just to feel something other than anger. Something other than fear. To be rid of the constant, fucking crushing loneliness." His eyes fix on mine in the mirror. "I sometimes get so lonely, it physically hurts. I feel it everywhere. My head, my stomach- my chest."

His reflected image curls its fingers around the knife handle, miming dragging the blade across his own wrist. "Sometimes I sit in the dark, holding a knife or a bottle of pills, wondering if it would be easier to die than keep feeling this emptiness." His reflection drops its hand, eyes searching mine. "And you know what? I'm scared of myself. I'm scared that one day I'll actually do it- kill myself. It's a scary but sometimes tempting thought." He takes in a ragged breath. "But, being alone is easier than risking someone see the real me. Seeing all this.” He gestures to the mirror in its entirety. “That’s why I’m terrified of vulnerability."

His reflected image fidgets, the ice-blue eyes welling up with tears. "But, fuck! I am so tired of being alone." He says in agony, his voice desperate. The dark twisted landscape behind his reflection begins to distort and ripple, the mirrors surfacing crackling. "I just want someone who gets it." He chokes out, a single tear escaping down his cheek as the mirror's image flickers. He wipes it away quickly. "Someone who sees the darkness and chooses to stay anyway. Is that too much to fucking ask for?" His reflection looks right into my eyes, silently begging for understanding.

Warning ends here. Still sad but not dark <3

"It's not too much to ask for.” I reassure him. “Everything you said I can relate to. I understand you, fully- deeply. I have those very same demons.”

The mirror's surface shatters, glass flying everywhere. The physical Draco collapses to his knees, his body shaking with sobs as he buries his face in his hands. The room fades around us, the only sound being his heartbreaking wails.

I bend down by him, rubbing his back. "You're not alone anymore. I'm here." I say softly. He clings to me, his arms wrapping around my waist as he buries his face in my shoulder. His sobs grow louder, more intense as he finally allows himself to break completely. I hold him to me as he cries out all the pain and loneliness he's been carrying.

After several minutes of his sobbing, he nuzzles in my chest, tears finally subsiding. "Stay, please. Don't leave."

"I will never leave."

He cuddles close in my arms, his face still buried in my chest. His tears have now been replaced by soft, shuddering breaths. I feel his warmth and his heartbeat.

For the first time, we have both found what we needed more than anything- connection, understanding and complete acceptance.

Masterlist

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