#which is absolutely what child!me casually assumed they were doing

[muffinlance]

My mom just started reading Fox’s Tongue and Kirin’s Bone after I raved to her about it lol.

She’s four pages in and she wants to know if the way people sometimes use the phrase “met death” had anything to do with sparking the idea for this story? (As in, “he met his death walking down king street” or “she met her death in November”)

That is EXACTLY where the initial premise came from. I overthought the phrase one day, and here we are. <3

[dairy-farmer]

You know how hormonal bullshittery like pregnancy and the monthly Fuck You, make people feel really REALLY horny? Even when they basicly can't act on it or are feeling gross?

......wanna bet that's what being a Beta is like?

Cause they ARE the same species. Why would THEY get to dodge the heats/rutts bullet entirely? They get clipped! They still have to suffer! Hell, I bet they still have the same organs regardless!

That Beta male can ABSOLUTELY give you a child.

It's just incredibly, INCREDIBLY unlikely. THE textbook definition of a high risk pregnancy. Oh, and incredibly tough on their body. Cause the organ is basicly vestigial. It WORKS but for fucks sake! If you're advising a Beta couple, just tell them to use the far more effective SECONDARY in the biologically female beta! Assuming there is one! Are you TRYING to people in the hospital?!

But of course, just cause it isn't likely to give you a baby (unless Extreme Situations blah dee blah dee you get the picture, historical contexts), doesn't mean it doesn't fuck with your hormones. Leave you feeling gross.

Because!

Beats? Get "seasons". Short for fertile seasons. It was this whole old myth, that they were more likely to get pregnant during their "seasons". When in reality, they are basicly either pseudo-heats or pseudo-rutts, depending on which trait (while recessive) is stronger.

Tim looked it up. He had time too.

Cause he feels GROSS and horny. No one touch him or he'll stab you but also cuddle him right now or he'll cry. He hates all of you. Your his best friends and he loves you. He'd burn Gotham down for a Specific Brand of those one pickles.

He can't find the drier sheets... he's a failure and the world is ending, time to sit down and cry.

Needless to say? Thank FUCK it only happens like 3 times a year. He's already a mess, he refuses to let anyone see him like this. He doesn't CARE that "studies" and "common sense" say that pack helps manage the symptoms! He can handle it! Fuck you! He'll bite!

.........he sowwy. Are you mad?

And see, normally? His squirrelly "I gotta drop off the map, don't follow me" routine wouldn't be a problem. God knows BRUCE has let it go on for WAY too long. But? Jason? Jason is suspicious. Been trying to do better. And more importantly?

Been keeping track of days in his head.

Been about three months since you last went dark, Timbers. Suspicious number of days to go silent too. Bout the same number of days as a season. Knock the fuck knock, Timby tock! Open the fucking door. You can do it, or I will.

Tim looks like a miserable drowned Racoon.

Sweaty.

So sexy.

He has the AUDACITY to GROWL at him with his Itty bitty lil crackle beta voice. Jason informs him he's lucky "sad and pathetic" is somehow still cute on him, picks him up like a sack of cheap take-out, and drags him back to his place.

Tells him to scrub the layer of sweaty misery of himself while he gets food ready.

It's... it's nice. Tim realizes. Having this walking tank of an Alpha just sort of casually take care of him. Flop down on him like a weighted blanket. The chatter of Jason's shows in the background, the smell of his nest pressed against Tim's face, pressure against his body, warm and heavy. The feeling of Jason's hand, absent-mindedly playing with his hair, as he reads or researchs.

Tim can... drift.

They don't do anything that first time. Or the second. Or third. But the thought creeps in to Tim's head and won't leave. He bet it'd feel nice. Bet Jason would take care of him. Jason is so GOOD at take care of people. He's so tired. No one ELSE takes care of him. Even when he's so good for them. Tries his best.

.....he wants to go back and nap in Jason's nest again.

That was nice.

And? Alpha senses are sharper then a Betas. Jason NOTICES Tim starting to glance at him more and more. Linger closer and closer. Get that little mournful, hopeful, look in his eyes. Notices him start to look HAPPIER as his season gets closer, instead of annoyed. Like his looking forward to it.

Oh ho~? Jason's a lot of things, but dumb? Not one of them.

Not all of those looks were strictly platonic longing. It gave Jason some things to think about. Too consider. Does he... want too?

.....yeah. Yeah he does.

Better buy some of the Good Shit then. His lube sucks.

So Timbers comes over. Jason's done some research. What helps horny, miserable Betas. He's also a Bat. He pulls the ol "oh look, I just so happen to be freshly showed and in criminally short bathrobe. Mmmm, I sure am CLOSE, aren't i?" gambit. It's not even remotely subtle.

Tim's too busy ogling to notice or care.

Oh LOOK! Jason's sprawling like a magnificent big cat! Legs splayed and muscles loose, draped back against your side like your his personal throne! Mmm, sure is distracted by this show! And not paying attention to you! Would be a perfect time to get... ideas(tm)~

And Tim IS. Because Jason's leaning back against his torso, warm and heavy, smelling so... so NICE. And... t-thighs. Long... legs long. Strong. W.. wanna touch. Lick everything. *desperately tries not to whine in Horny*

But then? Jason does his "absent-mindedly petting Tim" thing? And his self control is fuckin DYING here, man! (Yeah, Jason's knows. It should die faster.) A-and s.. surely it's okay if... if TIM pets back right? Purely platonic! He can control himself!

......that's a fuckin lie.

He's not even sure HOW, but Jason's cock ends up in mouth. And it's like his brain cuts out, leaving him limp and full of pleasant static. Curled up, a strong hand softly playing with his hair, occasionally rubbing his cheek. As his mouth is filled, his vision filled, as all he can smell is JASON. Glide, push, glide, push. Tounge and throat and careful with his teeth.

Like meditation.

He's not even desperately trying to get him off, just wants Jason to fill his mouth. Too pay attention to him. Keep running his hands across his skin. And Jason does.

And sure, he considers pulling Timbers into his lap. Filling him properly. But the lil guy look so RELAXED for once. So blissed out. So? Sure buddy... you can have Alphas cock. Go ahead and suck. That's It. You're doing a real good job.

Course, once he figures out how to turn Tim's brain off? He has to figure out if it's a "all the time" thing or a "season" thing. You know... for excuses reasons. And? As a very stressful serial killer case soon proves? It's an all the time thing.

Drag him back to HIS safe house, patch him up, and pull him down to rest in a nice lil defensible layered nest? Right between his knees as he "keeps watch"? And Timbers can't seem to help himself. And damn if it doesn't feel fantastic, not gonna lie. No one EVER gets that... that fuckin WORSHIPFUL of Jason. It's setting off all SORTS of instincts in his head.

Gonna make that fucked up trainwreck a lasagna. Force him to take a nap.

His his his his, good boy baby, his.

Thankfully, it's not so much Tim OPPOSED as Tim, once again, single mindedly focused. So Jason just has too, with GREAT sacrifice and strength of will, NOT let Tim get his magnificent lil mouth get ahold of his cock. But gently push him back and flop down on him. Run his hands down and down until he strikes gold.

Doesn't take him long to figure out what Tim likes. What days he doesn't want to think, needs to be fucked brainless. What days he can't stand touch, needs a good thick toy and some company. The days he wants Jason's fingers. Or a bead for his clit and a nice long relaxing Zone out suck on Jason's cock.

He's Jason's needy, prissy, demanding, god awful, pillow princess of a train wreck Beta and Jason adores him. They practically live together by now. Reak of each other. You would have to be WILLFULLY BLIND to not notice.

So of course... the others notice last.

Too late! You didn't take care of him, bruce! So I DID! I fed that bitch a lasagna! AND my coc-! *Horrified Bat noises*

Tim's never been happier.

-🐼

😍😍😍😍 jason turning hissy tim into a sweet, pliant beta that would just like to fuck him while looking like the spirtual equivalent of 🥺

[starpeace]

here for the mandalorian rant ☕️

um well the first episode of the brand new season of disney+’s flagship star wars show was entirely... filler. the dialogue was incredibly bad, not even written badly but as if no-one had written it at all. entirely flat and devoid of life, in a show with a faceless protagonist whose dialogue literally has to carry all the weight. din continues to have no opinions, no emotion and nothing to say

as for the plot, what even happened in this episode? we open with the mandalorian covert ritually giving a child their helmet, but this is not explored at all, it’s only there to be interrupted with a giant monster fight for absolutely no reason, as if this show has been written by six-year-old me livening up clicking my barbies together by grabbing my toy dinosaurs. din has conversations with the armourer and bo-katan purely to rehash the information we’ve already been given, partly because half of it was in a bad show the casual audience won’t have watched. neither of these characters is doing anything.

din visits greef karga, who is now discount lando “gone respectable” but instead of having personality he’s just really into gentrification and this is presented completely uncritically. din, a character most charming for being the beaten up mercenary underdog of the galaxy, suddenly hates pirates and disorder (well, hates would imply he shows emotion—dislikes pirates and disorder? is mildly perturbed by pirates and disorder?), and pals around with high magistrates who offer him a position as a cop/landed gentry (they actually use the words “landed gentry”). there’s a couple of meaningless unfunny comic relief scenes because this is all that grogu is here for now, complete with a reference to, of all things, the rise of skywalker. in what is apparently the main plot of the episode, which is, i repeat, the first episode of the brand new season, din takes up a fetch quest to get a random droid part for an absolutely laughable reason that does nothing but completely negate a character arc from season 1 and everything we have been shown since, just reminding you that not even death will be allowed to have emotion or narrative weight, or prevent disney from dragging back onto your screen anything that will sell. he doesn’t actually do this fetch quest, btw, he just gets given it, because apparently we have to do multiple episodes of this

did i get everything? was that the whole episode? oh wait there was the fight with the pirates in space. i forgot it because there was zero tension. those pirates also earlier wanted to... have a drink in a school with greef, i guess, in a completely baffling scene? i can’t imagine there was any point to this pirate bit except to put fight scenes into this filler episode and force the visual effects people to carry the entire lumbering weight of this show. one has to assume that otherwise the pirates would have had personalities or motivations. oh, also purrgils appeared in this episode, because this is the Star Wars Cinematic Universe, and you’d better watch all the interconnected shows so all your beloved characters can eventually come together to swap lifeless quips on screen, just like you always wanted.

a droid drops a statue’s head on top of a murder droid to stop it, purely so din can say, “now that’s using your head.” if you were wondering what i meant about the dialogue.

i don’t even need to get into the politics of the story they’re telling. i don’t need to humiliate it further by comparing it to andor. it’s just bad to watch on a basic technical fundamental level, and it’s not headed anywhere better, because they will be churning out this story for cash forever with no goal or meaning, under circumstances where i cannot seriously even imagine caring about star wars anymore. hope this helps!

[bleachbleachbleach]

[Bleach 072]

This scene is important to me for the express reason that Hitsugaya was apparently the one to tell Jidanbou about these rules. Because they are friends! We know this not from any in-story interactions but from one line in Hitsugaya's Souls profile:

[Souls 133]

I'll be honest with you, I've never actually read Souls and have never thought about where it ties to canon temporally, but the answer to that is apparently sometime before Hitsugaya confronts Ichimaru.

This amuses me because at this point we know all of five things about this guy, and one of the five is that he's friends with Jidanbou. We don't even know the name of his Zanpakutou (that's the "?" in his stats profile box), but we know he's FRIENDS WITH JIDANBOU.

I don't have the English version of this page, apologies, but basically it's just like, Hitsugaya is a shinigami who comes from Rukongai, he's the youngest Captain in history, and he's currently investigating the Rukia business and trying to bring Ichimaru's shit to light. By the way, he's friends with Jidanbou and taught him the "Rules of the City." (Then the bottom sidebar is about how Hitsugaya treats Hinamori like blood, and wants to protect her.)

Which honestly makes this Jidanbou connection even funnier because Hinamori, the reason Hitsugaya is even in this story and the only reason we know this much about him (through Hinamori's Academy flashback), gets a neat sidebar, but the line about Jidanbou is just thrown in at the end of the main narrative like, beeeeee-tee-dubs!!

I've always wanted to write fanfic about this, but I haven't yet come up with a premise that was actually interesting to me. I assume they get paired up in this way for the size kink, though internal to the narrative that only gets us so far. After that it's like, okay, they're both associated with West Rukongai, so there's that. They're probably both socially ostracized: According to himself, people in Junrinan find Hitsugaya off-putting because of his white hair and his, well, off-putting demeanor; people probably make fun of Jidanbou because he's enormous and speaks with a lisp (though this doesn't carry into the Viz)/doesn't come across as normatively cognitively developed. But I'm kinda like, okay, sure, whatever. The most interesting part about that for me is still that Hitsugaya has a casual friend at all, because what few relationships we do see are extremely not casual. But also BTW Jidanbou!

I still think my favorite version of this relationship is the one where, while Hinamori's been off at school, Hitsugaya casually mentions to her that he's friends with Jidanbou the Gate Guardian, with absolutely zero explanation, as a child might about a brand new ride-or-die friend, as though this were completely normal and natural for him, and that's all that's ever said about it. Hitsugaya is definitely someone who has a mental white paper for anything he's ever done, which is why I find the contrast/discrepancy so appealing.

If my life depended on writing Hitsugaya Jidanbou friendship, though, I'd probably start with the City Rules. Because:

Jidanbou has been guarding this gate for 300 years. We don't know how long Hitsugaya has been living in Junrinan, but we do know he would not have had first-hand experience with any City Rules more than ~35 years ago. Not that you need to go to the city to know the rules, but I think canon Hitsugaya establishes pretty well that he doesn't talk about things he's not interested in or things that he doesn't have personal verified knowledge of. So for the first 265 years, no one bothered telling Jidanbou very much about this place he was guarding (not even his brother). He's a utility, and one that lives outside the gates (FUGAIKUUUU)--also one that's not perceived as smart enough for that information to be meaningful. But that whole vibe is not really Hitsugaya's style, because he loves an infodump--but also because he has a bone to pick with the notion of instrumentality.

If we're making a point of saying that Hitsugaya taught Jidanbou the "Rules of the City" (in quotation marks), we're introducing an interlocutor's specific POV. I'm not saying Hitsugaya's just making shit up for the hell of it, but how important these rules are, why these would be the top 3, what their original contexts were vs. being pulled out like this, and what's a literal municipal code vs. a social more vs. just something Hitsugaya has personal commentary about, are up in the air. What I'm saying is, I feel like these have "a gigai is for eating beans" energy.

At minimum, I enjoy this because this is all information that is completely incidental not only to the main storyline but ALSO to the Detective Hitsugaya B-side. But I love that Bleach is consistently so, so interesting about all these characters and their POVs and the rules that do or don't exist in the world, particularly at these early junctures, where most of what we've heard about Soul Society is from Rukia, and a lot of it we've already seen contradicted; and we'll continue to as the arc unfolds. Who even NEEDS Kyouka Suigetsu??

[seventeenlovesthree]

@digimon02countdown Day 5 - Adventure Chosen

Among all relationships between the old and new Chosen Children - some of which were, unfortunately, highly underutilized -, one of my absolute favourites is (to nobody's surprise) the "bug buddy geniuses". Granted, you have to pay attention to actually see the dynamic between them, but it's very intriguing to me - and this scene depicted above is one of my favourite moments in all of 02.

Why is that? Because it's incredibly character-defining for BOTH of them.

Koushirou is taking care of Poromon while Miyako is on a school field trip in Kyoto and decides to pay Ken a visit, asking him about the extent of his memory on everything that has happened ever since he has become a Chosen Child. While doing so, he explains quite a few interesting lore aspects he has discovered - or rather: assumes to be correct - at this point and contextualizes it all in front of Ken; that the Digital World is capable of reading and granting people's wishes, that the events of 1999 were responsible for causing more partnerships between humans and Digimon to happen...

Ken is still rather distraught by the whole situation, he deals with memory loss and the constant feeling of guilt due to all the terrible things he has done as Digimon Kaiser. And above all of this - he is baffled at why "Izumi-san" is talking to him about all of this, why he's even bothering to deal with him. It's unclear how much he knows about how involved Koushirou was previously, but he may be aware that he was basically coordinating strategies and plans to take him down for weeks, months even. We're still in a phase in which Ken doesn't feel worthy of forgiveness, where he feels like he isn't even worth anybody's time and he'd have any reason to assume that Koushirou used to be just as fed up with him as everybody else.

Even worse - Ken is incredibly afraid of being used again. He may not be fully aware of the extent of HOW MUCH he was used by Oikawa, but he knows he was made a puppet by the likes of Arukenimon. And now Koushirou sits in front of him - and at first glance, it may appear that he is just interrogating him for the sake of gathering knowledge and information. Because he could at least be useful to them that way, right...?

But there is so much more to this and it's what makes it so beautiful to me - yes, Koushirou's main intention here seems to be to get information, he even confirms that it's in his nature to be curious and wanting to know all there is to know about the Digital World and such. However, he's doing this with incredible openness and kindness - something Ken is still not fully used to, even with the likes of Daisuke being all over him and the others slowly but steadily warming up to him.

Koushirou's whole deal - ever since the end of Adventure - is that he wants to be able to be more casual with other people. He already displayed that throughout the season by being a mentor, guidance and support to the new kids, helping in whatever way he can. The best example here is - he was the one who called Ken to warn him about the others being in danger, as his former fort was on the brink of exploding. If Koushirou hadn't told Ken, he wouldn't have rushed into the Digital World in time, he wouldn't have been able to save the world, he wouldn't have united with Daisuke, letting their hearts beat in sync to create a Jogress evolution to save the day.

And now he is sitting here in Ken's room, gently smiling at and reassuring him. Even if Ken had done cruel and terrible things, what matters to Koushirou is that they are both Chosen Children - and that they should have found him and take him under their wing before darkness could take over. There is a sense of guilt in Koushirou's voice and the expression of absolute sadness and helplessness over Ken's state is so palpable that, even though his words still seem rather matter-of-factly and polite, his body language tells it all.

And it has an impact - the distance between them visibly decreases and Ken is even able to smile in the end. He's being trusted by Koushirou to help and be part of the team, he makes him feel equal, and it's wonderful.

They're becoming better at interacting with people. It's something that isn't easy for either of them, but this scene is proof that they're on a good way - and that it could be the start of an amazing friendship as well.

[empressofmankind]

Team Triassic I - Once in a blue moon

[Crocodile x Shivs (F!OC) ]

ft. their 12-year-old daughter wanting to go to dino summer camp

Teen and up - 4k / 10 pg

(A/N) - I love Camp Cretaceous and nobody can stop me from doing exactly what I want. Which, apparently, was making a cross-over of that series with @tiredemomama and mine highly specific One Piece content. Because what Benji and Iggy deserve is going on dino summer camp. And no amount of strict parenting from Crocodile and Benn Beckman, respectively, can stop it from happening.

Tag(s): Feel good slice-of-life. Mildly diabetes inducing romantic affection. Fluff with plot hints! Family dynamics. Warning for child-parent argument. Overprotective parents. Smoking. Crack fic. CC x OP cross over.

🏝️🏝️🏝️

The acacia wood double doors with their engraved mosasauri loomed over Benji as she stood before them. Her palms were clammy, her fingers leafing through the papers she clutched to her chest - the info brochure about the remodelled VIP resort, a detailed map of the tropical island, booking information and transport timetables. She'd even made a packing list and prepared a thorough estimate of the costs.

She stared up at the doors and swallowed.

He just had to say ‘yes’.

🏝️🏝️🏝️

“No.”

“DAD!” 

Benji stomped her foot before she thought better of it. The scowl that pulled her father’s lips down around his cigar spelled an imminent extinction event as surely as the K-Pg asteroid. She did her best to adjust her speech to a level, business-like tone. The kind her father was amenable to. “I mean, it’s not a big island?” She unfolded the map of Isla Nublar, smoothed out the creases and slid it across his desk in as casual a manner as she could manage.

The sudden shift in his daughter’s demeanour reminded Crocodile of her mother, and he took his cigar in hand to hide his smile as he leaned forward to study the map. “And where would you be staying?”

“Well, we will help the park rangers, sooo,” Benji started, trying to figure out post-haste how to make it sound as safe as possible.

Crocodile caught her gaze. “When you are not with an adult.”

“Oh! At camp, here.” Benji pointed to a spot marked ‘camp’ on the northern side of the island, some kilometres inland from the northern dock, in an area called ‘Sector B’.

Crocodile tapped the map with the tip of his hook. “What is this red marker right here across from where you are staying?”

“That’s the, um,” Benji clasped her hands behind her back and dodged her father’s gaze. “The compsognathus paddock.”

“Aren’t those carnivores?” Crocodile asked from around his cigar, noting similar red markers around the island. Many of them are in Sector B.

Benji rolled up on her toes and back down. “Well, yes. But!” - and she caught his gaze then - “They are quite small, barely above the knee. My knee! Not yours. I could kick them if they come too close.”

Crocodile took the cigar from his mouth, blowing out smoke as he watched her little nervous shifts. She really wanted to go, and he really did not want her to go. Even less now, with this map full of red markers awfully close to their camp.

“Why would you be close to it?”

“I wouldn’t!” Benji immediately agreed. “They’re in a paddock, like I said. People don’t go in the paddocks. That would defeat the point of them.”

“And I assume these paddocks are well secured?” Crocodile said, tapping the various red markers near the camp with the tip of his hook. There were abbreviations across them: MLS, CNT, TSR. The one nearest camp read CSN - compsognathus, she’d said. He frowned. There was an unmarked one, north of the second lake.

“Absolutely. All dinosaurs have ID-chips with which they are tracked at all times, even the herbivores,” Benji said as she tapped one of the green markers. “The carnivores are all in high security paddocks, so it is not dangerous at all.”

“Weighing several tonnes and being carnivorous is the very definition of dangerous,” Crocodile remarked as he leaned back in his seat, watching her little jaw work.

“There are regular boat schedules,” Benji said, as she gave him the booking information and transport timetable. “You and mom could come visit whenever you like?”

According to the timetable, a boat from the mainland arrived every four hours at the northern dock. Though the booking information suggested reserving spots well in advance of the tourist season you meant to visit in.

“Hm.”

It wasn’t a ‘no’, so Benji took it as a positive sign. Smiling widely, she leaned her whole conversational weight into her argument as she unfolded the flyer for the remodelled VIP resort, a short drive north of camp. “You would stay quite close by, here,” she said as she pointed it out on the map while sliding him the brochure, open on the flattering promotional photos of the brand new top floor luxury apartments.

Crocodile shifted his cigar to the other corner of his mouth as he leaned forward to inspect the location and pictures. The shots featured impressive panorama views of the surrounding rainforest, and snaps of modern beige-is-the-new-white interiors with floor to ceiling honeycomb windows. The text boasted of the exclusive resort having a top of the line gym, beautiful spa and a large rooftop pool.

“It has a helipad now, too,” Benji said. “So you and mom wouldn’t even have to take the boat if you didn’t feel like it.”

“That is convenient,” Crocodile agreed, flipping through the brochure.

“And you could take the new Cretaceous cruise,” she added eagerly, pointing out the easternmost lake and the river snaking down from it towards the sea. “It leads past dozens of dinosaurs - herbivores, of course, but very cool ones!” Realising her father’s notion of the word cruise differed from what this was, she quickly added: “Though it is not actually by ship, but with kayaks. But mom would totally love that!”

For one glorious moment, Benji thought she had him.

“Tempting,” Crocodile said as he took his cigar from his mouth to tap the excess ash off. “But no, you’re not going.”

“But dad!”

“I said no.”

“It isn’t even that expensive, and I’ve saved up,” Benji pleaded as she shoved her notepad with all the tabulated costs under his nose. “I can totally pitch in!”

“Benjamine.” Crocodile put the curve of his hook on her notebook and nudged it back to her. “It’s not about that.”

“I want to go.”

“I know you do, sweetheart,” he said as he watched her chew her bottom lip, staring at all the map instead of him. “But your mother and I think it is too dangerous, they---.”

“You think it’s too dangerous,” Benji said, biting back her frustrated tears. She’d asked her mom first. Something like this would have appealed to her as well. She should have said ‘yes’. Instead, she’d said ‘ask your father’. 

“---They have done nothing such as this before,” Crocodile continued, ignoring her comment. “Perhaps you can go next year. How’s that?”

“I want to go this year,” Benji said, bottom lip trembling despite herself. “I’d be… I’d…”

Seeing her small face crumble and tone falter nearly deflated his resolve. He pushed his chair back and beckoned her, and the little girl rushed into the hug. Benji didn’t want to go next year, she wanted to go this year. She’d be one of the first young rangers! She’d be famous for something! Like her parents.

“You can go next year,” Crocodile said as he stroked her long hair, holding the girl close. 

She glanced up at him and her resigned look dug into him. “You promise?”

“I promise,” he said and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

When the door to his office suddenly banged open, Crocodile shielded the girl on instinct alone.

“I am staying with Miguela in Venice in two weeks!” Robin fumed as she stalked straight towards them, boots clacking on the parquetry like a particularly angry woodpecker. Benji felt her father tense - always a bad sign. She glanced at her big sister from across the socket of his hook. Robin was so angry she was actually turning pink.

“Should have thought of that before you pulled that stunt,” Crocodile said. “You can visit your girlfriend some other time.”

“She’s not my! Hng.” Robin balled her hands into fists. All six of them. “It’s during the Venice Carnival! I am not going to the stupid dino dweeb island.”

“Dino dweeb island..?” Benji repeated softly.

Crocodile heard it though and he could now see the cogwheels turn behind her green eyes. “She’s going there as a camp counsellor,” he said as he preemptively raised his hand when Benji opened her mouth. “To work, not to have fun.”

“I am so not going!” Robin said, her voice pitching.

“I could work!” Benji said. “And if she’s going, I’ll be totally safe!”

“I will feed you to the nearest bitchy little sister eating dinosaur I see,” Robin threatened.

“Robin,” Crocodile warned.

“You can’t!” Benji grinned. “All the carni’s are in paddocks!”

“I’ll wrap you in leaves and find one of those big dumb ones!”

“Quiet, both of you!” Crocodile said, but neither of the girls even so much as looked at him.

“They’re not dumb! You’re dumb!” Benji called back, straight past him. “You couldn’t even find the right leaves if you tried.”

“Maybe I’ll find the wrong leaves and poison them,” Robin bit back.

“No! You can’t do that!” Benji exclaimed as she jumped up. “You’re---!”

“QUIET.”

The girls froze at his raised voice and finally held their tongues.

“Robin, pack whatever bags you think you need. You are leaving this Thursday,” Crocodile said in the sudden and oppressive silence. “Benji, you’re staying here and that is final.”

“Why can Robin go?” Benji demanded. “Why isn’t it dangerous for her?”

“She’s older and...”

Benji burst into tears then. “She always gets things first!”

Crocodile rose, moved towards her, but she stepped back as she glared up at him.

“Its not fair!” Benji shouted and stormed out of his office.

“Benji--!” he started, but she was already gone.

Robin shot him a look like a knife right before she pulled the door closed behind her. “I hope she hates you forever.”

Crocodile stared at the door. Then sat down heavily and rubbed his face, tapping his hook across his desk until it hit his box of cigars. Reaching for it, he flicked out a cigar and lit it. He closed his eyes and let the smoke fill his mouth and his thoughts. 

That could have gone better.

🏝️🏝️🏝️

Shivs watched the morning sun sparkle on the lagoon waters as she leaned back in her patio chair and considered the offer.

“I detect some reservations?” the East Asian woman seated across from her remarked. Her Spanish accent was smooth, her tone persuasive. Shivs’ gaze followed the shift of her long, light hair across her perfectly tanned shoulders, and lingered on the way her airy white tunic hugged her figure.

“I can assure you, it is the type of venture you would enjoy.”

The slam of heavy doors within the penthouse snatched Shivs’ attention just in time to see a furious Robin stalk through the living room, Benji in her wake and gaining.

“I hate you all!” Benji shouted, tears in her eyes as she stormed past them.

Shivs raised an eyebrow at Robin but was met by three middle fingers.

“You two have children?”

Shivs didn’t fail to notice the undercurrent of mockery in the woman’s tone. 

“Do you?”

A pleasant smile appeared on her face, setting a sparkle in her eyes that made Shivs wary. “I have velociraptors.”

Shivs pursed her lips. “Lucky you.”

Robin had been contrary from the day they had found her and was a troublesome teenager on the best of days. However, Benji’s outburst concerned her. She’d said ‘all of you’, not just ‘you’. Which implied she was angry with her father, too. And that happened less than once in a blue moon.

“We will continue this conversation later,” Shivs said as she rose.

“I understand,” the woman said, though Shivs noted her self-satisfied smile.

“Anthony will see you out.”

Appearing on cue as ever, Anthony strode towards the women, carrying their visitor’s stylish coat over his arm. “Ma’am,” he said as he handed it to her.

“Thank you, Mr Daz.”

“This way, ma’am,” Shivs heard him say as she made her way in the direction the girls had come from. The direction of her husband’s office.

🏝️🏝️🏝️

“It’s so unfair!” Benji yelled as she slammed the door to her bedroom, the air displacement sending a rustle through the Jurassic World posters covering most of the walls. Her bed had covers depicting a palaeontology dig from above, and an impressive collection of dinosaur plushies sat all along its length against the wall. A small flatscreen TV stood across from it, its stand buried in documentary DVDs. Beside it, a large doggy hatch and a red water bowl with a bone on it.

Benji dropped herself on her bed and stared at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to her ceiling. “She totally wouldn’t be able to tell a Carnotaurus from a Ceratosaurus,” she grumped as the hatch creaked. “I can.”

A nudge against her upper arm.

Benji turned onto her side and reached for the baby Sinoceratops’ shield to draw him towards her. “I hope she falls in every pile of dung she comes across, Stumpy,” she said as she pressed her face against its teal and orange scales.The baby animal warbled softly as it rubbed its stump nasal horn against her side.

“Robin always gets to do things first because,” she said, then mimed a painfully accurate impression of her father’s accent: “she is older”.

“Not because she listens better! Or do her chores!” she said as she sat up. “She never does!”

“It’s so unfair.” Benji wrapped her arms around her knees. “I always do, but I never get things first.”

Stumpy nipped her shin with his beak.

“Ouch, what?” Benji said from above her arms, leaning away from him.

Stumpy flopped down onto the carpet with an offended yip, watching her.

“Oh! I am sorry,” she said as she quickly moved to rub his stump horn. “I got you first. That is totally true.”

Stumpy warbled and licked her cheek, making her chuckle.

🏝️🏝️🏝️

“No, I am busy!” Crocodile called at the knock on his office doors.They opened anyway, revealing the wily shape of his wife.

“Is there any particular reason our daughter just stormed past me, shouting she hates us?” Shivs said as she approached him. Gauging by the impressive cloud hanging in the office, she’d been right about their fight. Stress made him smoke faster.

“She wants to join the first draft of a youth ranger program,” Crocodile said as he motioned at the papers Benji had abandoned on his desk.

Shivs raised an eyebrow.

He turned and pushed the map towards her with two fingers. “On Isla Nublar.”

“And you said ‘no’.”

He took the cigar out of his mouth and pointed at her. “I can’t just let her go play baby ranger on a dinosaur-infested island?”

Shivs came around his desk and leaned against the edge. “One that has upward of 20.000 visitors a day.”

Crocodile leaned back in his seat, taking a draw from his cigar. “The camp is in the island's north, away from the main park.”

She glanced at the map, noted the spot marked ‘camp’. “Less the trouble, I would think?”

He tapped the red marks on the map with the tip of his hook. “It’s practically surrounded by carnivore paddocks. Who knows why?”

Shivs nudged her knee against his. “Well, if they are in paddocks?”

“No. I don’t like it,” he said as she pushed herself off the desk. “They’ve done nothing like this before. They’re kids.”

“As are a good amount of those 20.000 visitors,” Shivs said as she walked around him, putting her hands on his broad shoulders. “If it gets dangerous, we gp and get her.”

“Hrm.”

“She’s becoming a big girl.” Shivs slid her hands under his jacket and rubbed his shoulders, kneading the tight muscles. “Wanting to do her own big girl things.”

Crocodile leaned into her touch, glancing sideways at her. “I do not understand why she is so intent on being the first.”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

A pause as he exhaled the smoke through his nose to not blow it in her face. “Enlighten me.”

“She wants to be known for something, too.” Shivs smiled at his askance look and stroked his cheek. “Like you.”

“It doesn’t matter.” He turned his face away from her hand, annoyed. “This year’s season is a closed draft and its three spots have already been allotted.” Shivs caught the undercurrent of disappointment in his grumble. “It isn’t projected to open to the public until at the earliest next year.”

“Well, that sure is inconvenient,” Shivs said as she kneaded his shoulders until he relaxed. “Who runs it?”

“InGen,” Crocodile said, fingertips idly tracing the back or her hand as it snuck to his collarbone. “Though now a subsidiary of Masrani Global Corporation.”

“Don’t you own significant stock in that company?” Shivs said as she toyed with the gold chain around his neck, warm from resting against his skin all day.

He took her hand and rubbed her knuckles with his thumb. “We do.”

“I thought so,” she said as she leaned against him, wrapping her arms around him. “I am sure you can come to an agreement with Mr Masrani so she can go.”

“No, I don’t want her to go.” Crocodile shook his head, but his grip on her hand tightened. “She’s my little girl.”

“And she’ll always be,” she mused against his cheek. “Let her go,” she added as she pressed kisses against the hard set of his jaw. “She’ll have fun.”

He glanced at her, and she smiled mischievously. “We could go too?” Shivs slid her hands into his dress shirt, her cheek resting against his. “Have a brief holiday, just the two of us,” she added as she let her fingers map the familiar shapes of his pecs. “Take your mind off of everything.”

“That does sound good,” he rumbled, and she could feel the noise under her palms as much as she heard it with her ears.

She chuckled, and they shared a kiss as she gave his right pec a little squeeze.

“It will be.” 

🏝️🏝️🏝️

Crocodile glanced up the stairs in between two bites of his dinner.

“I don't think she's coming down, Habibi,” Shivs said as she rolled up her wrap, pushing the falafel and grilled vegetables spilling out back into it. Beside the table, Stumpy was smacking happily as it ate its bowl of palaeobotanical salad. Normally, Benji would make it, but Crocodile had cut and diced it, this time, unable to ignore the animal's sad yips as it sat by its empty bowl.

Putting his utensils down, Crocodile dabbed his mouth with a napkin before rising. “I will go to her, then.”

Shivs pursed her lips as he picked up the envelope he'd put on Benji's plate when they'd sat down for supper.

Crocodile strode up the stairs two steps at a time and made his way down the corridor that led to the girls their rooms. “Benjamine? I want to talk to you,” he said as he pushed down the door handle to her bedroom. The door didn't budge. She'd locked it.

“Benjamine?”

Nothing but deafening silence. He knew she could hear him because the door had an oversized dog hatch for Stumpy. She was in her room. He could tell from the way heard her move about through to it.

“Benji, baby?” Shivs called as she came down the corridor to stand beside him. “Come on out.”

“I am not hungry,” Benji said from beyond the door, her tone curt and muffled.

“She's still angry,” Crocodile muttered.

‘Told you so,’ Shivs mouthed in Alabastan.

“There's no need to be angry, sweetheart,” Crocodile said, holding up the envelope in an apologetic gesture despite the closed door.

Shivs smiled at the soft but curt noise she caught from behind the door. A little scoff.

‘I have an idea,’ Shivs said softly, beckoning him as she turned away. With a last glance at the closed door, he followed her down the stairs and back into the kitchen.

At the table, Stumpy was chomping down on the last of his salad. Glancing up expectantly when he saw them.

“You want more, little cutie?” Shivs said as she went to the cupboards and retrieved a jar. She cracked it open and grabbed her spoon from the table, scoping up a lump.

“Peanut butter has too much sugar,” Crocodile scolded when he saw her hold out the brown lump. Stumpy did, too, and turned on its stubby legs faster than you'd think possible for such a chunky creature. He galloped to Shivs for a mouthful of the creamy, delicious goo.

“That's why Habibi loves it, don't you,” Shivs cooed as she gave the animal another big spoonful. “Come on, you little lump, this way,” she added as she beckoned it with a third spoon full, luring it up the stairs and towards Benji's room.

“It's going to be sick again,” Crocodile snapped in Alabastan as he snatched a fourth spoon full from her. Stumpy immediately turned to him instead, jumping up to reach it.

“No. Down,” he said firmly as he caught it by the frill and set it back down, drawing an angry nip at his hand for his trouble. “Down,” he repeated, holding its frill steady until it stopped struggling. When it was quiet for a minute, he threw Shivs a look before giving the animal the fourth spoonful. It stepped on his foot as it did so.

“What's the plan, Habibti,” Crocodile muttered.

‘Watch and learn, Wani,’ Shivs mouthed as she took the envelope and used one of her elastic bracelets to tie it to dangle from the hole in Stumpy's frill like a paper earring. She then took the spoon from Crocodile, scooped up another lump of peanut butter and lured Stumpy towards the hatch.

Stumpy happily followed and gobbled up more of the peanut butter.

“In you go,” Shivs whispered, and gave it a shove against its rump to make it walk through the doggy hatch and into Benji's room. With a sharp yip, Stumpy resisted, putting its stubby front legs wide and making them catch against the door frame, stopping her from pushing it in.

“A hand and hook, please?” Shivs complained as she leaned her entire weight against the animal to shove it through.

“We'll hurt its legs!” Crocodile said on a lowered tone as he crouched and tried to push the animal inside, but then noticed the way it had lodged itself. And was staring at the peanut butter jar he was holding. “It wants more of this junk. You two spoil it too mu--.”

Shivs snatched the jar from him, swung her arm like a bowling ball toss and slid the jar across the wood straight towards the doggy door. And Stumpy galloped straight after, skidding and sliding as it tried to catch up to it. The jar zipped past the flap, pursued by the scrambling dinosaur.

Followed by a thud, a thump, and a yelp.

“Stumpy!”

Benji.

Crocodile listened, holding his breath without noticing, trying to hear the tear of paper, of an envelope being opened. Hoping she wouldn't simply crumple it up and toss it in her bin. He flinched when the door suddenly banged open, nearly falling backwards off his haunches and onto his ass. The next moment Benji had flung herself around his neck, the boat ticket clenched in her fist.

She was crying, but not of anger this time. “You're the best dad ever,” Benji sobbed, as she hugged him tight enough with her scrawny little arms to hamper his breathing.

Crocodile wrapped his arms around her, holding his daughter close. “I would bring down the moon to shine only for you, if you wanted me to.”

Shivs smiled, happy they were no longer at odds with each other. It wasn't right. She wanted them to be happy.

After a long moment, Benji pulled back but didn't quite let go of him. “But what about Stumpy?”

Crocodile tucked a bang behind her ear with his hook. “We'll look after him exactly the way you'll tell us to,” he said, then added with a huff: “your mother has already been feeding it peanut butter.”

Benji glanced at Shivs, who shrugged with the peanut butter covered spoon in hand.

“Stumpy loves peanut butter,” Benji grinned.

“He sure does,” Crocodile said, and his tone made them laugh.

🏝️🏝️🏝️

PART II

[soulprompts]

Ahh, welcome back! I always get so excited to see you on my dash again! How about this for a request: kidfics! I want to write some domestic fluff involving OTP original kiddos, but I can't figure out how to go about it. Help me out? Thank you!

oh man i love this already! i'm gonna be presumptuous as all hell and assume you mean prompts in a more of a "starting off point" sense, but honestly, i'm a sucker for some domestics, so i may make some prompts in the roleplay sense in a while!

first of all, i love domestic stuff in general. and i write a multi myself with a tonne of original characters who are adopted by another OC of mine, so i have a tonne of drabbles and scenes, and one of my absolute faves is when the kids are trying to buy gifts for their parents. in reality this is obviously a very stressful thing, but in a writing context, i love it! mainly because you can play around with the concept of which child knows which parent the best, or the dynamics between the OTP, or the dynamics between the kids. "mom loves cooking, right?" "no, dad loves cooking, mom cooks out of obligation." or "i can't think of anything... dad likes sleeping... right? maybe a new pillow?" "...how sad is it that i think that's the best idea ever?" like the options are very open and easy to work with!

alternatively, if you want the parents involved more, maybe a family day out? a road trip is definitely one of my faves for that option, snacks, music, pit stops, destination, "are we there yet?" like you really have a lot of stuff there! bonus if the car breaks down. bonus bonus if they start bickering in the backseat. (again, reality vs. fiction plays a huge role here!)

another way to lean with this is maybe the siblings are trying to solve a mystery within the family. a strange phone call, a weird note, something off in the calendar. definitely plays more with the thinking of both siblings, whether they're logical or emotional, how they confront challenges, teamwork, all that fun stuff. maybe the mystery is boring as hell, but it gets amped up because of something else that's happening. a bad report card, a family argument, something negative that automatically skews the natural logic surrounding this mystery event and leads the siblings to making outlandish risks and decisions to resolve it.

aaaaand one more because it feels better to give four suggestions than three: you mentioned these are OTP kids, so maybe there's another kid on the way? the other suggestions all involve much more active storylines, but this one could go either way. the idea of the siblings doing homework or playing video games and just idly discussing baby names and favorite siblings and "will they be more like parent A or B?" and casual discussions of how to interact with the new sibling, like you could even have the parents cooking dinner in the background and dropping in a few bits of information to go with the discussion, yk? a more chill, laid-back, ordinary domestic event.

anyway i hope these are what you were looking for! i hope you have lots of fun writing the fics!

[the1975attheirverybest]

hes just being messy, he was with meredith in la last wednesday and then now is like very public with gab. i actually feel pretty bad for meredith, the unfollow makes me think she thought they were more serious than they were. i dont think dating casually is a crime but all parties should at least be on the same page 😕 (no need to post this just telling you)

I’m very confused by all this and I guess y’all really don’t understand boundaries, respect, or consent. But since I’ve deleted just about 40 asks about this in the past 48 hours or so, fine. I guess we are talking about this. (Not directed at you alone or anything just my general feelings on the subject and on the fandom.) you wanna talk about Matty’s love life? Let’s talk about it.

Matty is 34 years old. Which means he’s well above the legal age of consent and, yeah, god help him, as a cis straight man, he do be acting like an absolute child sometimes, BUT it’s his life. His decisions to make.

From everything that we know about him, and especially after the ENTIRE FUCKIN WORLD turned against him over the summer, he is a lot more kind, compassionate, smart, self-aware, gentle, and pure-hearted than anyone’s ever given him credit for. Even his own fans. Say what you will about Matty Healy, but if it were me, in his shoes, I’d feel more than entitled to be Turner bitter towards the public what with the way we all (yes, we, as his fans too) have been treating him. But NOPE. Matty is a way bigger person than most of us. He didn’t say a damn thing. He kept his mouth shut and his head down and he did what he needed to do, he never let any of it deter him from being vulnerable and honest with us and putting on the best fuckin show that he could possible put on every fuckin night.

If that doesn’t earn him the benefit of the doubt then I don’t know what will.

I’m not sure why or when some of us have decided that it is our place to observe what goes on in his love life, to monitor his following/followers lists, to draw conclusions based on those numbers, or to consume public glimpses of his interior life as if it’s some tv show or movie or reality tv, even when those images are taken without his consent, and decide Meredith is not “marriage material” or Gabriette has “an aesthetic that I can finally get behind” (which, by the way, is a very sexist and disgusting thing to say about them as well as Matty, but I guess this fandom is hypocritical and will turn against its own values as soon as Matty Healy’s dick is involved), but at some point apparently that happened and we started to treat him as less than human.

Fine, fine, I’ll even give you that much. Be sexist. Be judgmental and creepy and all up his ass. But to do all that and then “feel sorry for Meredith” call him a “mess”??? When you LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM?!!!!! How do know she thought it was more serious than it is??? Were you there??? Since we’re making judgements and assumptions based on the tiny fragments that we see, I’m gonna go ahead and make a judgment of my own and say since I didn’t see you in the middle holding one of his hands and one of hers, then you weren’t there. So why do you feel qualified to talk about what he may or may not have done??? Do you know him? Is he your bestie???? Did he confide in you??? Hmm? Fuckin tell me!!!!

To summarize: he’s a form of entertainment to you. You don’t care about his boundaries. And you have such a low opinion of him that (despite him proving in what is objectively one of the worst things to happen to a public figure, that he’s endlessly graceful and kind) you will comfortably assume the worst of him without A SHRED OF ANYTHING REMOTELY RESEMBLING EVIDENCE. So….why are you a fan? Hmm? Why do you feel comfortable supporting someone you think so little or and have no respect for as a human being?

If any of you really think “he deserve love” and “he deserves companionship.” Then you’d shut the fuck up, stop engaging with content that commodities and dehumanizes him, and mind your fuckin business for fucks sakes.

I mean, how would you like it if, based on a 7 second story on Instagram, or a tweet you made about your personal life or whatever, I (somehow who knows absolutely nothing about you) came up to you and was like “omg I noticed so and so has unfollowed you. Then two days later you posted a pic with this other person. You must have really crushed someone’s heart and led them on making them believe you were more serious than you actually were. And now you’re using this other person who appeared in a picture with you. That is concerning behavior my friend.” If you’re okay with me doing that to you then you and I must live wildly different realities.

[possiblylisle]

Uncommon Face: Part Two

The settlement streets were busy but not crowded. The paths along which all of the citizens and the travelers walked, were not meant for vehicles. Those roads were rare in Toxe settlements. They were only ever put in places where they were absolutely necessary, and even then, those roads were only meant for caravans and couriers. All others who wished to traverse the city were given other options, which usually amounted to walking, trolleys, or underground trams. This settlement had no underground trams, she noted, the ground was too soft and too much of a risk to even try and dig tunnels through.

Dau and her chose to walk through the streets like so many others did. It was the better option to avoid drawing unnecessary attention; not that any attention would matter. Neither of them were criminals, nor was a human's presence illegal; she just did not want to feel the stares or hear the whispering.

With her hood drawn she hoped that most would assume she was nothing more than a child or a Toxe who had not yet reached their full height. At least then the looks she received would be ones of confusion or indifference. She hoped they did not confuse her for a child, not that she thought about it. Children of the Federation were rarely ever seen without at least some of their creche.

"Cody, this way." Dau guided her, shortening his strides so she could remain in step with him, or, at least try. His strides were still large and she had to walk quickly to keep up.

"Where are we going now?" Her hand still held on to his, her grip just barely big enough to fully grasp the single widened finger that sat where a human's index and middle would be.

"We need more... uh... resources. Did you understand that?" Dau looked down at her. He had moved his goggles from where they had sat on his eyes and pushed them up to rest on his tall head.

"I understood." She did not. The last word was not one she had heard before, but she knew she would be able to guess its meaning once they had reached wherever Dau was leading.

Dau nodded and they continued through the settlement, passing habitats, stores, and workshops with large openings that allowed her to see what the locals needed fixed.

After a few blocks and a couple turns, they stopped in a wide-open market square. Arranged in neat lines throughout the square was a plethora of stalls. Most were decorated and covered in various wares. Some she immediately recognized as the loose-fitting casual clothing preferred by most Toxe, and others she did not recognize with the small glimpses she received.

The stalls that drew her eyes the easiest were those that had been set up in a corner of the square near where they had come in. A beautiful concoction of aromas wafted from the cooktops and pots that were carefully tended by a diverse cast of the settlement's gray-skinned citizens. The smells were tempting and very appetizing.

"Dau, food," she said, tugging at his hand and pointing toward the stalls. His gaze followed her hand and the two of them stopped.

"Do you need food?" He asked, thumbing at the square credit pouch on his hip.

Her stomach loudly rumbled before she could speak her reply and she glanced away in embarrassment. Dau laughed and led her toward the stalls.

They briefly scanned the different offerings of the food stalls before Dau made a selection for them. Cody would have normally objected, saying she could pick for herself, but she did not recognize any of the morsels and cook-pot contents. It was best to let Dau choose something, she reasoned, he would know better what is safe for her.

What he did choose was good. A spicy fried rectangle the size of her hand that tasted like some sort of root vegetable.

"Is it good?" Dau asked, casually consuming his own food.

"Yes. It reminds me of a..." she paused, knowing there was no Touxeen word for what she was going to say. "It reminds me of a hashbrown," she finally said, finishing her sentence with an all too human word.

"What is a 'hashbrown'?"

She opened her mouth to speak but did not begin. She did not know enough basic Touxeen to describe a food that was entirely alien to her companion.

"I do not have the correct words to tell you."

Dau nodded, finishing his food. "We must fix that problem."

Tag List:

@capnmachete @leahnardo-da-veggie @tamiveldura @lorifragolina @liminalgoddessworld

@humbleartspawn

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Before I Go

Chapter One

AO3 Link

Chapter Three:

As expected, Roman at a drag show is absolutely hilarious.

Remus and Janus are regulars at this point, so they’re brought right to their usual table, and Roman walks uncomfortably behind them, then sits down as if the chair is going to break as soon as he sits on it.

Thankfully their usual server Mandy is there that night, and Remus can count on her to roll with any jokes he makes without asking questions.

“Remus, Janus, I take it my favorite patrons are doing just fabulous tonight?” she asks, stopping for a moment as she approaches the table.

“Only as fabulous as you look, Mandy,” Janus says, tipping his head with a flirty smirk in her direction.

“Oh hush you flatterer, I’m taken.”

“As am I,” Janus says, leaning casually on Remus’ shoulder, which earns him a kiss just on the side of his eyebrow.  “But you know, if neither of us were spoken for…”

“Or gay as the day is long,” Mandy agrees with a nod and a smirk of her own.  It’s at that point she turns and realizes there’s a third person at the table, and shifts her smile to something only slightly closer to customer service friendly.

“I didn’t realize you’d be bringing a newcomer, who’s this one?”

“This is my brother Roman,” Remus says, grinning over at Roman as the only warning for how this night is about to start going.  “He’s terrified of gay people.”

“Wha- Remus!”

“Oh hon, we don’t bite,” Mandy says, giving Roman a sympathetic smile.  She reaches over and pats him on the hand as if comforting a small child, and Remus makes a mental note to tip Mandy a little extra tonight.

Roman pulls his hand away and glares to the side, but Mandy just laughs brightly and turns back to Remus and Janus.

“I assume you’ll both want your usual?”

“You know it!” Remus says with a grin, and Janus nods next to him.

“That’ll be coming right up,” Mandy says with a smile.  She gives another smile Roman’s way before she says, “I’ll bring a menu for the frightened one.”

Roman glares at her but doesn’t say anything, and she just winks at him as she walks off.

“Did you have to introduce me like that?” Roman asks, turning his glare to Remus as soon as Mandy is out of earshot.

Remus shrugs.  “I’m just making sure she’s up to speed,” he says.  “The first drink is free for homophobic gays.”

“Remus!”

“Okay fine, it’s not actually.”

“That’s not— I’m not— shut up!”

“Sorry, I can’t hear you, I’m dying.”

“That doesn’t even make sense!”

Janus laughs from his spot on Remus’ other side, leaning forward onto the table.  “I’ve changed my mind, can we bring him everywhere?  I haven’t been this entertained in months.”

“That’s not funny!” Roman snaps.

“Mm, it’s a little funny,” Janus says, holding his fingers up to gesture ‘a little’ to Roman.

Roman growls, leaning back in his chair with a huff.  “Why did I think this was a good idea,” he grumbled.

“I don’t know, I really can’t answer that question for you,” Remus says, leaning against Janus who smiles as he pulls him closer.

Roman sighs and looks up at the ceiling for a second, then turns back to the two of them.  “Look, honestly.  Can you just do me a favor and tell me what to expect so I can be prepared for it?”

“Oh, of course,” Janus says, giving him a look.  “We’re all going to sit down and have a patient civil debate on why we should be allowed to exist, that’s all.”

Roman throws up his hands.  “Nevermind,” he grumbles.

“Oh for pete’s sake, Roman,” Remus says.  “Cheap food, dancing, music, lights, drag queens.  What did you think you were coming to?”

“I didn’t think I was coming to anything, you dragged me along,” Roman snaps.

Remus narrows his eyes.  “Well maybe I won’t next time if you’re just going to ruin it for all three of us,” he snaps back.

That seems to get to Roman, though, and he pauses.  He takes a second to look around, and Remus can see the gears turning in his head, and then see the moment he decides to be okay with it.

“You’re right,” he says with a sigh, sitting back in his chair.  “I’m sorry.”

Remus sighs, leaning over against Janus again.  “Honestly, Roman, get out of your head.  It’s fun.  You’ll enjoy it.”

Roman looks apprehensively at him.  “What makes you so sure?”

Remus shrugs.  “You were the one who was always asking Mom if you could wear her dresses,” he says.

Roman goes pale, looking around as if expecting someone’s going to smack him upside the head like their mom used to do.

“Roman,” Remus says, reaching out and grabbing Roman’s hand.  Roman looks back over at him.

“Literally no one here is going to care,” Remus says, looking pointedly at him as he says it.  “A lot of them do the same thing.  It’s okay.  Seriously.”

Roman doesn’t say anything for a moment, and then finally, he nods, looking fragile.

Remus squeezes his hand hand and gives him a smile, then lets go as he hears Mandy approaches from the other direction.

“Alright, we’ve got chicken wings and wine for Janus, an Anita Bryant Cocktail and a Bacon cheeseburger with extra guacamole for Remus,” she says, setting each down in front of both of them.  “And here’s a menu for you hon,” she adds, passing it over to Roman.  “I’ll give you a couple minutes and then come back to get your order.”

“Thanks,” Roman says as she turns around, though he’s looking at Remus’ meal with his lip curled slightly in disgust.

Remus grins at him, picks up his burger without breaking eye contact and takes a bite, making sure the guacamole dribbles out of his mouth.

“God,” Roman says, holding his hand up in front of his eyes as he looks the other direction.  “Extra guacamole implies it comes with guacamole in the first place, you know.”

“I do know!” Remus says brightly.

“Ugh.”  Roman picks up the menu and holds it in front of his face so he doesn’t have to look at Remus as he reads the options.

Thankfully, Mandy comes back pretty quickly and takes Roman’s order, because not long after he orders (nachos, onion rings, and no drink, like a loser) the lights dim and the focus turns to the stage as everyone in the bar starts cheering.

Remus can see Roman starting to look nervous out of the corner of his eye, but he just grins at him and wiggles his eyebrows a couple times to show his own excitement.

Roman gives his best attempt at a smile at Remus, then turns and faces the stage along with him and Janus.

They may frequent this particular bar, but Remus has more of an interest in new things, so he intentionally picked a show that doesn’t have anyone he’s already seen.  Plus, he figures it’ll probably be easier on Roman if they’re both going into this with the same knowledge on the specifics involved.

So, as everyone comes out on the stage and the music starts playing, Remus leans over towards Roman with another bright smile, and gets ready to enjoy the show with his boyfriend and his brother.

…

Roman was trying to have as few expectations as possible in regards to what tonight would be, but somehow it still managed to surprise him.

Remus was technically right in regards to the things he’d told Roman would be coming, at least when it came to music and dancing and cheap food and lights.  But he was absolutely wrong when he said no one would care.

Everyone cared that the people up on the stage were wearing dresses and makeup and weren’t being normal.  They just also happened to be extremely loud in their support of it.

Roman wasn’t actually one of the people cheering, but only because he was staring around at everyone else doing it and trying to figure out the ache in his chest.

Remus and Janus were cheering next to him, and Roman definitely shouldn’t have felt surprised by that, but… knowing they were probably okay with something and seeing that something in front of him felt a little different, he supposed.

For all Remus and Janus seemed to enjoy themselves, Roman didn’t remember much of the show itself.  What caught his attention more was the overwhelming feeling of safety surrounding him.  The loud music and the dancing and dresses and how much everyone was enjoying all of it.

Roman looked around at the tables surrounding them.  No one here was straight, were they?  And even if they were, they were a different kind of queer.  Did Remus do this kind of thing all the time?

It was near the end of the show that Roman actually managed to pay attention, just in time to join in on everyone in the bar loudly singing along to a Freddie Mercury song.

Remus turned to grin at Roman as the song finished, a clear question in his eyes before he even opened his mouth, but Roman waved him off.  He didn’t want to talk about it yet, and they wouldn’t be able to hear each other right now anyway.  Remus stuck out his tongue, clearly taking Roman’s reaction as something very different, but let it go for now.

But letting things go was not really how Remus worked, so Roman wasn’t all that surprised when as soon as they walked to the car, Remus turned to face him with a giant grin.  “So?”

Roman let out a long, drawn-out sigh.  “Are you going to say I told you so if I tell you I really loved it?”

“Yes!  I told you so I told you so I told you so, HA!”

Roman groaned and shook his head, looking down at the ground in exasperation.  “And you wonder why I don’t tell you anything.”

“I thought you didn’t tell me anything because we haven’t seen each other in over a decade and you need everyone to believe you hate me for being a filthy gay,” Remus said matter of factly, and Roman nearly choked on his own spit.

“Wow, you really haven’t seen Remus in too long if you didn’t expect him to just blurt stuff like that out,” Janus said, leaning over to pat Roman a couple times on the back.

“I figured he’d want to focus on the fun we had tonight instead,” Roman said, looking over at both of them.

“Who says I’m not?  I’m still having fun!  Are you not having fun?  That sounds like a you problem,” Remus said, giving him a toothy grin before bounding ahead towards the car.  Janus called his name, tossed him the keys, and then hung back a little, looking over at Roman.

“He forgave you a long time ago, you know,” he said.

Roman turned to stare at him.  “What?”

“Remus forgave you a long time ago,” Janus repeated.  “No matter how much I personally think he shouldn’t have.”

Roman blinked a couple times, processing that.  “…Why?” he said finally.

Janus shrugged.  “He told me how bad his coming out went,” he said.  “I understand being scared to do the same.  Even if you should have developed more of a spine eventually.”

Roman sputtered.  “Wh- I’m not—”

Janus successfully cut him off with a look.

Roman swallowed and turned to look towards the car, where Remus was standing up in the passengers seat, poking his head out the window and waving.

“Look,” Janus said, and Roman turned to face him again.  “Remus badly wants to make things right with you.  And he doesn’t have a lot of time to do it.”

Roman swallowed again, a little more of a struggle this time with the lump forming in his throat.

“So you are here because that is what Remus wants,” Janus continued.  “And I would never dare keep an opportunity like this from him.  Not— not now.”  Janus took a shaky breath of his own, and for a moment, Roman saw a mask slip.  But then Janus took a deep breath, and the mask smoothed back out over his face.

“But let me make something very clear to you,” Janus said, turning a gaze to Roman that was so viciously angry Roman actually took a step back.  “If you hurt the love of my life, you will find yourself suddenly lacking in your own.”

“Uh,” Roman said.  “Love?”

“Life.”

Roman swallowed one last time.  “…Understood,” he said weakly.

“Good,” Janus said, before turning back towards the car.  He spotted Remus waving, and precisely all of the rage melted from his face, and he walked up to the car and slip into the driver’s seat.

Roman shook himself off after a second and followed.

...

Chapter Four

[undead-potatoes]

SUNNY, did someone ask about Aurora and Jay and whether they like kids?? Do they get along with them, are annoyed by them? Would they want kids for themselves? How have they interacted with the kids in the bg3 world so far?

No-one did, so thanks for asking B)

This is gonna be long as usual so 🐻 with me

- - -

Much like she's with people in general, Aurora is kinda bad with kids. She likes them, quite a lot in fact, but she's awkward and doesn't know how to interact with them in a natural way. She does find them so so charming though, and enjoys being around them and observing their antics. I think she admires them too for how resilient they can be, how even in the face of so many horrors they're still filled with so much of that childlike joy.

But the Urge makes interactions difficult, since they're often extra gruesome around kids (as you pointed out). She tries her best to interact casually with any kids coming her way, but I think she also keeps her distance for the most part while the Urge rages on. Yenna might be the hardest one for her, since she's someone Rory has to interact with on a regular basis. It goes well for the most part, but I think Yenna probably picks up on Rory's weird vibes and just decides to keep interactions to a minimum (maybe she thinks Rory doesn't like her? Like what did she do wrong?)

She does want kids of her own she discovers, once she's free to live life on her own terms, but she's terrified of passing on any bhaalspawn bullshit to a biological child, so that's a route she doesn't even dare explore. There are other ways of becoming a parent though, and I can see her and Shadowheart bringing up a child together at some point (and I imagine Astarion is just mommy's weird boyfriend who teaches them all the wrong things and is over there like "I hate this kid. If anything ever happens to them I'm gonna turn into John Wick tho.")

- - -

First of all, I just posted a Jay backstory bit that's been sitting in my drafts since October, which adds some context to Jay's relationship with kids already in his life.

So very firmly on the other side of the scale we have Jay, who is really great with kids, possibly even better than with most adults. He knows how to talk to them in a way that makes them feel seen and respected, while still keeping in mind that they're children. Chatting with them, joking around, providing them comfort, it all comes pretty natural to him.

He obviously has a soft spot for the tiefling orphans. Looking at them he sees a reflection of himself from 40 years ago, and many of their schemes genuinely amuse him, though some of them are uuuh a little worrying. I think he tries to sway Mol a little bit since she's their leader, to steer her away from the worst of it, but she's just too stubborn for that. Her whole ordeal with Raphael really stressed him out tbh.

Yenna is an interesting one bc usually I would just write her off and say she never joined the party (it's a bit silly tbh), but Jay absolutely would pick her up and have her tag along if he thought she would be safer with them than being on her own. I assume they get along just fine (she mostly just has the personality of "pleasant child" in-game), and I think he enjoys teaching her stuff, for better and for worse. He's totally the kind of guy who will teach kids some questionable things (often by accident), and then go "no wait, do as I say, not as I do".

I initially (like months ago) thought of him as someone who might want kids, but I'm not so sure anymore. At least not in a way where he'll actively go out of his way to have children; any child that just happens to fall into his lap is a different story. This is partly why I'm a little conflicted about Yenna post-game, like what WOULD he do? He'd be very hesitant to send any child to an orphanage unless there were no other options, so idk where she ends up.

Overall I think he's just fine being everyone's favorite uncle. The kids love him, he brings the coolest gifts, and he gets to interact with them on a frequent basis in smaller bursts. He's the first anyone asks to babysit, and he almost always says yes, much to Gale's annoyance I'm sure ("but what about our plans, love" "we can do that tomorrow, they never get time off from the kids").

[occult-roommates]

Kim is a WHAT?!

It’s been one week since Dawud and Rudi moved to their new apartment. In the mean time, not much had happened. Except renovating one of the bedroom to accomdate the growing amount of people under that roof. Which means they just bought the cheapest bunk beds avalaible and Charlie kept her bedroom to herself. Hey, she’s the one who has been living there for a decade, all the other showed up in the last two years. She can’t share a room with any of them, what if they tried to kill her in her sleep? Other than that, Dawud mostly worked, meaning he barely got to interact with his new roommates, and Rudi finally got some piercings. They’d always wanted one, but their mom never let them. Sure, they were 22, but for as long as they lived under her roof, no piercings allowed.

All of this to say that one morning, Dawud was cooking himself breakfast. He had never been a good cook, but he’s trying to get better. Key word being trying.

Kino: Is this healthy, Dawud? You have to eat healthy, as you are with child. Dawud: Wh-What?? Are you insulting my weight? Kino: Why would I do that? I’m just concerned, I saw you throw up yesterday morning, which is common while expecting, so I assumed. Dawud: I threw up because I bought gas station sushi and they gave me food poisoning. Charlie: Look, let’s just rip the bandaid. I don’t know why it took an entire week to reveal it, but here’s the truth. Yes, Dawud, aliens are real, and Kim is one. Which is why they are...like that. Kino: Also Kim Graff is not my name. My actual name is Kino Gurafee. Dawud: Ok that’s funny that you spent the last week pretending to be from German cause Kino means movie in German...wait a minute.

This reveal was so surreal, told so casually in spite of it being a massive deal, Dawud hadn’t completely processed it. It’s only after pointing out the meaning of Kino’s name that it hit him. An alien, really??? Rudi, sitting nearby in the living room, was equally shocked...To be fair, they should have suspected something when they tried having a conversation in German with “Kim” and they couldn’t understand a word, which they pretended was caused by an audio processing disorder.

Kino: You see, I struggle to tell Earthlings’ genders apart. Everyone here tried to explain it to me, they all still look the same to me, male, female, cis, trans, nonbinary, intersex. I actually didn’t know Earthlings had many genders and sexes before coming to Earth, which is why when I created this form, I gave myself a mix of male and female characteristic.  Rudi: Honestly, I just thought you were nonbinary, especially since everyone refered to you in gender neutral term. Kino: I mean, by human standard I might as well be. Akva: You see Kino, I’ll give you a little trick. People who can get pregnant are the one who haves boobs, and those who don’t have boobs can’t. Kino: Oh, this makes sense, my species, the Sixaming, only have swollen mammaries while with child. Dawud: This might be the worst sentence I have ever heard in my life. Kino: So are you with child then, you do have a developed chest. Dawud: Now you’re just trying to make me feel bad about myself. Daniele: Look everyone, let’s not make fun of Kino ok. They’re an alien, from a species which only has one sex that’s able to both impregnante and get pregnant. Of course it’s going to be confusing for them that for us, reproduction is...split in two I guess? And then we assign each others arbitrary roles based on our reproductive capacity, roles which vary culture by culture by the way, but then nothing is also truly absolute. Like there are men with boobs and women with a beard, and let’s not forget trans people. No wonder they get confused!

This is the one time a year Daniele is the voice of reason. You see, he gets smarter with his glasses off, as a way of breaking stereotypes.

In the end of all of this, Kino thought it was time to reveal their true appearance. As they morphed from an attractive dark-skinned woman to a blue, still very curvy alien, though with a obviously different facial structure. Dawud had to admit, the completely black eyes were a bit off putting at first, hopefully he’ll get used to it. Then he realized...

He had to tell Audrey about this, now.

Prev (mild nsfw) - Next

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, MHA 291, Replies Part 1

1) “So, back to the main series we go! And what happened last time- oh right, Dabi. The most expected unexpected revelation to happen in this series besides Dad for One. We all knew this was coming, and we were still quite shocked about it regardless. Or maybe that was just me, I don’t know.”- No, no, it was pretty shocking for us too. Like, we suspected he was most likely Toya, but then he just upfront revealed it as casually as you like with his pre-planned dramatic unmasking (Hair bleaching) it was pretty startling for Horikoshi to just go “yep, your theories were correct, have a cookie and family drama as a reward”. 2) “oh dear god we’re going straight into the source it seems, when Toya dabbed his last breath.

jesus fucking christ- Fine, do your worst Horikoshi.”- Ha! Oh, he ain’t even started yet, believe me. 3) “Nope, back to before he died it seems. 

Fine. Also, he had red hair before it turned white then?”- This actually aligns with the anime’s flashback way back in season 2, wherein young Toya playing ball with the other Todoroki kids was glimpsed, and he has red hair, rather. It was assumed to be an animation error, so either Horikoshi adjusted Toya’s backstory to compensate, or he let the animation team know in advance.

4) “…

Wait, this seems… Odd. This is not way I’d expect Endeavor and him to interact. This felt way too… casual?”- Oh yeah. This family drama ain’t all black and white. Enji didn’t start out a glory-obsessed, abusive father, and Toya didn’t start out hating him. There’s actual love and familial commitment present between them, that’s why the ongoing confrontation is ultimately so tragic at its core. 5) “and going by the way Toya was, it seems like he wanted that as well. Which already is making this way worse than the picture we had of the Todoroki’s back at the start of the series.”- Toya wanted it, because Enji wanted it…at least, to his eyes. He wanted to be the son his father could look at with pride and affection, but when his own body started falling short of that goal, it lead to things going….sour.

6) “OH GOD PLEASE HORIKOSHI YOU’RE ALREADY HURTING ME

BECAUSE NOW I CAN SEE THAT THEY WERE HAPPY AND FULL OF LOVE FOR EACH OTHER BEFORE THINGS SPIRALED OUT OF CONTROL. I GET IT. CAN YOU NOT PUNCH ME THIS HARD IN THE FEELS?”- The other kids weren’t just there to have an “ideal Quirk” child, they were there to support Toya even if he personally fell short of becoming a hero with his own genetic instability. Fuyumi’s ice powers are ideal for helping to cool down Toya’s body when he’s burning up beyond control. Even if the kids had other ambitions than being heroes, they’d be there to support the first-born scion in his ongoing life. 7) “And that’s what caused it all to happen. It wasn’t a lack of love or care, it was ambition overgrowing those feelings. The first page said Toya burned to ashes, which already paints a picture of how he met his “end””- The fire symbolised Toya and Enji’s bond, and by the same token, how that bond lead to Toya disfiguring and twisting himself into the present-day Frankenstein’s monster he’s become, further degrading his human flesh and skin every time he touches upon the intensity of the flame that connects him to his blood kin. 8) “ But Dabi doesn’t have a strong fire resistance, which means even if he could make stronger flames, he’d die in the process.”- A problem then, but now….well, now, Toya’s decided to make use of that fact…

9) “…oh it absolutely is gonna get way worse.

I’m already preparing the bottle, this time not out of anger against the series, but because this is the only way to get through”-Enji would have been satisfied is someone of his bloodline could cross the boundary that he himself could not. For all his tireless, doomed efforts to cross the chasm, Enji didn’t mind not being the one to succeed in the end, only to witness that somebody other than All Might could prove it was possible to stand alongside a giant like him. 10) “And now time to continue the little dance, but now it’s even more grim than before.”- And now Dabi takes it even further, involving other dancers in their Hellfire tango. It’s no longer just about taking down his dad, he wants to take down every hero with him too. 11) “Ah, the Hood one? So that’s why you were so interested in that fight, huh? Not only because Hawks was there and you wanted to kill Endeavor in front of him, no, you wanted to take evidences back.”- I mean, Tomato, Tomato. The thing about Dabi is, he’s very much like the Joker, in a sense. He had a goal, and a lot of little plans to reach that goal, but he could use or discard those plans as it benefitted him depending on the situation without hesitation, because he’d never stick rigidly to any one means of seizing the victory he wants. The act of carnage and destruction itself is what Dabi wants, and specifically to capture the failure of heroes in dealing with that kind of high-level chaos. To that end, whenever he shows up, he’s always ready to adapt as needs be, changing priorities and stances to ways remain one step ahead, all to eventually reach his long-sought goal. If you look back at everything that happened leading up to this moment, there’s no way that Toya planned it all out. Hell, he almost got captured at Kamino before the ball even got rolling! He just kept his cards close to his chest, trusted nobody, not even the league, and rolled with the punches one after another, setting up his own separate plans in the background to take advantage over everything for his own ends – and to a resounding success, were it not for the intervention of our lord and saviour Jeanest at the end here! 12) “oh dear god- you know, that was what we believed happened, but considering that little flashback, it doesn’t seem like that was the case. The abuse only came after Shoto was born, which means it must be around the time Toya died.

…

Oh no, don’t tell me Endeavor became a monster because he pushed Toya to his death”- Stress built up until it boiled over and made Rei burn Shoto. In much the same manner, Guilt and regret could have fed into Enji’s obsession until he had to make a successor strong enough to beat All Might, in order to cope with the accidental loss of his firstborn to his fiery ambition. Of course, Dabi’s cheerfully glossing over that nuance to push forward his anti-hero agenda, and the average Joe on the street won’t really careabout the details in the face of this latest controversy. 13) “oh boy, the number 2 is definitely gonna be dragged through the mud there. And he deserves it for what he did, that there’s no doubt, but the rest of his family doesn’t, and boy are they gonna go through a lot.”- And neither does the rest of the hero industry, but Toya’s ready to spitefully roast them all in his condemnation of his father. 14) “Denial is not only a river in egypt. But true, it’s really hard to accept that those things happened.

But we, the readers, now that they did. But they are even worse than what they are being painted like.”- Worse, and yet, not quite as bad as they first seemed. That Enji isn’t a completely heartless, remorseless bastard of a father just makes his media crucifixion here cut all the deeper, now that he’s taken steps to try and repair the damage, only for Toya to not only render that all for naught, but go one step further and try to drag others down with his sins too! 15) “DABI YOU FUCKING BASTARD YOU ARE USING TWICE’S DEATH TO GET BACK AT YOUR FATHER

OH MY GOD

I DID SAY HOW YOU PUSHED TWICE KNOWING HE WOULD BE KILLED, AND NOW I’M WONDERING IF YOU DIDN’T CARE OR IF YOU EXPECTED THAT TO HAPPEN, BECAUSE THAT’S RECORDED FROM YOUR POV”-And this, right here, is where I lose sympathy for Dabi. I can understand his childhood pain and desire to lash out, but he not only involved an innocent (of that particular tragedy) hero like Hawks in it, he turned his own “friend” into a scapegoat. Even worse, this is the exact same thing Curious tried to do with Toga, and now Dabi’s gleefully and shamelessly broadcasting Twice’s death for the world to see, edited to maximise his nature as a tragic villain, all without care of the man who died believing in him and the bond they seemingly shared! (MHA ch 267)

16) “NOW, UNDERSTANDABLY, DABI IS PRETTY FUCKING PISSED. EVEN THOUGH I REMEMBER TALKING ABOUT HOW HE WAS USING TWICE FOR HIS OWN GOALS, SEEING HIM BEING MURDERED THERE WOULD DEFINITELY AFFECT HIM REGARDLESS.”- Nope, he wasn’t angry at all. In fact, he was ecstatic that Hawks gave him the perfect material for his anti-hero agenda, and now that he can, he could stop holding back. The massive flame blast he unleashed here is indicative that, despite him ‘appearing’ to be trying his hardest to kill Hawks and stop him reaching Twice, he was actually holding himself back and waiting for Hawks’ desperation to reach a tipping point. He was pressuring him with flame blasts just enough to ensure he had no real control over the situation and give Twice a window of opportunity to flee, but if he was serious about stopping him be could have flooded the room with fire the second Twice made it out the door. Instead, he held back just enough so that Hawks would have a slim opportunity to reach Twice at great cost to himself, and then either his hesitation over killing him would allow Twice to unleash the parade, or Hawks would kill Twice and give Toya the exact footage he’d been aiming for from the start- the sight of a popular pro hero committing an unheroic deed. And once he’d done that, he had no further use for him, and was free to stop holding back and indulge in killing him as cruelly as possible, just for his own pleasure. (MHA ch 267) 17) “Yeah Hawks, that does happen when you are being incinerated at point blank. But fear not, Dabi here is trying to stomp the flames away, he`s trying to help (: “- He’s not going to let Hawks escape. Either his body, his spirit, or his public reputation will be left in tatters by the end of this conflict, and Dabi’s relishing every moment of it.

(MHA ch 267) 18) “It`s a good thing that Toga isn`t here, because if she realized your reasons she would turn you into mincemeat.”-I am pretty sure that Dabi’s ultimate ending is going to come from Toga’s knives once she finds out the whole truth behind Jin’s death. It was Hawks’ hands on the blade, but Toya was the one who set the situation up and intentionally let a traitor sabotage the PLF from within, making him arguably more culpable in the end. 19) “DABI, I SWEAR TO GOD, I’M GOING TO FUCKING BEAT YOUR ASS”- Can’t beat it if he burns himself to ashes first…. @thelreads

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

Disclaimer: this got SO much longer than intended. My bad. Anyway....

My Partner said the most honest thing I think I've heard someone (who isn't a medical professional) say about my health jazz the other day.

He told me that during the 8 or so years that we knew each other, he listened/watched as stuff developed with my health (we met JUST before the great rug pull) and based on what he saw, he was skeptical & thought I was being a bit dramatic but gave me the benefit of the doubt because I'm so forthright & frank otherwise. He felt this way even after I moved in & started warning him that the bad season was approaching but kept it to himself.

He said, "Then that first cold front hit. As soon as it took you out that first day & I walked in to see you sobbing, just trying to walk to the bathroom, I knew it was all very real and not dramatic. If anything, you downplay it. You are far too casual & far too good at masking. Then you got hives for 3 days from hypoallergenic detergent that was a different brand than we usually use. At that point, I decided to just trust whatever you say about your health and your body's nonsense."

He apologized, but it's entirely understandable that he felt that way. (Especially given that his ex-wives are both hypochondriacs.) It's not a terribly well-known condition & unlike a lot of common conditions it impacts EVERYTHING. When I try to describe just a general overview or one aspect of it, people look confused & absolutely horrified. It sounds absurd that one day I will have a reaction to something, but 2 weeks later, I won't. It all sounds made up.

Apparently, he also felt that way about what I call my "detailed recall," but most would call a photographic memory. If asked where something is, I can see it in my head then see the surroundings in which I last saw it with a high level of detail & accuracy... assuming nobody has touched the item since I saw it. It works even if I just saw it in passing. And it very much sounds like one of those b.s. things people brag about because it sounds cool but can't actually do. But then I moved in & he saw it in action at least 3 times a day (because everyone else has 'disappearing item syndrome' aka ADHD) and I became [Trenchcoat-full-of-opossum] Keeper of the Stuff & Musical Knowledge Vat.

In other news, he really loves his new job and is perfect for it. It's a behavioral health alternative school so it's challenging but his first aide position was in sped and he loved it. He came home the other day & said a student was telling him that the student's twin sister has some pretty rare condition called Ehlers-Danlos. He told the student that "The Lady [His Last Name]" (which is what the kids call me when asking if I can make sketch books, lyric journals, or teach the art of making punk patches) also has it.

But at home, he was chatting with me about it, trying to figure out how to approach the situation. See, this student is FTM, and after some casual questions and such, My Partner (I'm just gonna start calling him Mr. Trenchcoat) has concerns. The other twin is the golden child, while this young gent is the scapegoat who is never good enough. Additionally, this young man gets a lot of weird sprains/strains & has an issue with sudden loud noises (even expected ones) cause his heart rate to skyrocket. Mr. Trenchcoat double-checked with me because he was pretty sure that if his sister had it, they were identical twins, and he is getting loads of absurd injuries, chances are he has EDS. This man looked at me & said, "After spending a year hearing you be more candid about your Horrifying & Tragic Backstory, especially regarding how your health was handled, I'm afraid that this boy is living a version of your early life & I don't want that for him but idk what to do to help."

I suggested maybe bringing up his concerns and reasoning to the administration. I also told him that if they want someone who can drop info in a factual but kind and understanding way about EDS in particular... or even just someone this boy can openly talk to & relate to about it, holla at ya gurl. But also reminded him that all he can do is his best to give these kids the tools & knowledge needed to survive in the world; that he can't save all of them but he can make an impact. As a kid, I was actively abused & I still remember the few really good teachers I had who cared and encouraged me. That man's heart is just too big.

The kids have all officially warmed to me. Vin (14) is making a conscious effort to 'be good' & did a full 180 (having his medication helps). Ari (10) apparently speaks extremely highly of me to their mother (ex1) about how she & I hang out and talk after school for about half an hour, I am teaching her cleaning/cooking, and since I used to tailor clothes I measured her & got her bras in the right size. Her mother text me 3 paragraphs thanking me for the way I treat them (same way i treated The Spawn & her homies). Zel (5) is having a tough go, as I predicted, but has been glued to my side either helping or saying "hey [Trenchcoat]!" followed by brief chatter every 10 seconds.

They have all separately asked me for hugs at random & said they love me. I've been accepted!!!! (And really, stepmom wise, I'm genuinely a best case scenario; i treat them like my own while deferring to bio parents in regard to handling certain stuff.) They all get jazzed about The Spawn coming by, too. Vin because he's had a crush since he was like 7. Ari because cool older girl. Zel because The Spawn plays dolls and always has a bunch of dog pics from work to show her. Also, there was one day when ex2 was refusing to bring Zel's tablet the 2 whole miles it takes to get to our house... so The Spawn volunteered to get it since ex2 still thinks they are cool. Even though The Spawn openly despised her from the jump, she was just raised properly in terms of polite civility. That act gained her mad points with the smollest of our group.

[spatio-rift]

I just found your account and as a devoted zanark simp for almost 3 years now i MUST talk about him or else i will explode and die.

I would love to hear any headcanons you might have for him🙏

Also your art is absolutely adorable!!

HELLO MY FELLOW ZANARK FAN vigorously shakes ur hand 🤝🤝🤝

i think youve probably seen a bit of that here and there on my blog already but um if were talking about my favorite hcs when it comes to zanark... i read a pixiv comic once where it turned out as a result of his upbringing and the kind of childhood he had as an outcast who was always alone + then going to prison zanark never learned how to read and write and its something i like a lot 🥺 i try to casually incorporate that into everything i do w him... (i think the same thing probably goes for a lot of second stage children who had to fend for themselves since they were very young...!! who would have taught them..? though they might have learned while in feida later from other kids!! obviously that wouldnt apply to zanark though!!)

erm i always wonder what kind of relationship he has with zanark domain and i just dont think it would make sense for him to see them as friends or even just sort of part of His Gang cuz hes a loner so ive been assuming theyre actually fellow mugen prisoners who were offered a lighter sentence or other such things for helping him out against raimon after omega 3.0 got sent to loser baby jail so far. most of them really respect his strength so there arent any issues abt his attitude mostly but like yeah i just cant see him respect them enough to be his friends or even associates lawl theyre like his fans to me. lord zanark fanclub pal pack and all that

also i think he doesnt care to learn most peoples names because its funny to me and hes just that self centered. he knows raimon as a unit and nishiki personally by name but like thats it. not his full name though which really annoys nishiki because hes got this whole thing about having the same name as sakamoto ryouma and that was when he saved his life and stuff he should KNOW this.

OH WAIT i do actually have actual hcs about him and shit. i just checked my notes. i like to think hes not completely bullshitting everyone when he calls himself a nameless nobody from nowhere (this rolls off the tongue way better than what he literally says in jp you have to admit) so imo he did actually grow up on the streets (see first paragraph) after being abandoned (and specifically abandoned i dont think hes an orphan i think his parents left him behind like fei cuz he was freaky lol) and he really did not have a name until he got caught by el dorado and they had to put a name on his file and zanark avalonic was just what he thought of in the moment. but it slaps so hes allowed to do his bit about being nameless with a name. if i thought of something that good i would also add it to my catchphrase even if it makes it not make sense anymore.

and i also thought about his crimes before and personally what i think is. its mostly stuff like stealing and property damage, maybe specifically the theft of a timecraft and unlicensed time travelling + modifications to the time route as separate heavier offenses, and i wont rule out some fisticuffs and injuries to other people but its definitely not something Huge like killing people. i think he mostly is considered That dangerous a criminal bc of his attitude and of course his being a second stage child and not because he did some Massive Awful crime or something. but thats also kind of related to what i think about el dorado and second stage children which isnt necessarily what canon suggests near the end... but well thats a whole other subject. all this to say that i DID ponder his crimes for a while.

UM I WILL STOP THERE LAWL thank you so much for liking my art and finding it cute <3 i know his design and voice dont help his case but it was really upsetting for me to find out that some people dont even seem to realize he is a child 😭 calling him a grown ass man and whatnot so im making it my lifes mission to draw him looking ever so slightly more his age🥴

btw heres my favorite pic of him from baku gaidenshuu. CHOMP

[srslysierraa]

Hi!! Could I have headcanons for sundrop, Freddy, and Monty(separate) with a gn night guard s/o who’s basically the parent/guardian of Gregory??

Like maybe the time Gregory snuck into the pizza place the s/o was sick so venessa took over for them so the animatronics had no idea until one day they mention that they have a kid and the animatronics are like “ah shoot fr bring them in!!” And the s/o does and it’s just the feral child

Sorry it’s so long thanks for you time!!

Pair-ent.

Prompt ;; a situation where you tell your dear sweetheart that you have a son. You're nervous, beyond nervous actually, but quickly became so happy when they were okay and even asked you to introduce him to them. That happiness quickly turned into confusion when.. they knew him already?

Type ;; headcanons, fluff <3

Chars. Involved ;; g. freddy, monty gator, sunnydrop.

A/N ;; don't mind me just casually writing this, i know I probably should be working on the event asks but... i just love the idea of this ask sm. thank you for the idea anon! <333 also! this is an AU where gregory is not homeless and goes to school, etc! you being his parent. ALSO idk why these are so long okay I'm sorry-

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Glamrock Freddy.

You've been with Freddy for some time at this point.

He always knew you had such parental energy from the moment he laid eyes on you. It honestly makes him swoon for you even more.

Like, you just ooze of someone so caring when it comes to children, almost as if you have years experiences when it comes to them.

Little did he know that you absolutely do-

The reason that he didn't know about your son is because you never really brought him up, not to the animatronics' at least.

And it's not like he can check your job profile, it didn't have a question on whether or not you're a parent, just whether or not you have experiences dealing with kids and how old you are.

Which can just mean you were a preschool teacher in the past, how can he assume you actually have a child??

And honestly, you didn't really wanna tell him for some time- that time being how long you've known him for, which is months.

But your kid's birthday is coming soon, and you wanted to celebrate together, sooo...

The moment you approached him, you were practically sweating buckets.

I mean, you know he's not gonna be upset or anything, he's one of the most supportive and understanding being you ever known.

But it doesn't mean that you can't be nervous-

When you finally sit him down and told him you have a son, it took him a while to process.

But then his ears perked up and his eyes practically glittered!

He's beyond excited to meet who the little fella is!

Oh God oh shit wait does that mean he's a dad?? An actual father???

He's absolutely buzzing from joy thanks to this news!! You better bring your little boy so Freddy can meet him 😡

He'll be bothering you about this all night- even after he apologized three times for potentially annoying you while you're on your nightguard duties.

Look man he's just very excited:((

Tomorrow comes and Freddy just finished decorating his little room, hoping that your son will like it.

But the arrival of you and your little semi-clone is what surprised him the most.

As you guide Gregory who's currently on a blindfold, you told him to stop right before he walked into the table with the cake on it.

Freddy is just like "??? Why is Gregory here?", but it clicked in his mind like two seconds later.

His eyes widen so hard he can probably see planet pluto with it.

He didn't want to interrupt Gregory's attempt at guessing where he is so he kept quiet, and once you've opened his blindfold.

"Surprise, sweetheart! This is-"

"Surprise, superstar! I've missed you so much!"

???

WHAT.

You were about to ask him what he meant but then-

"Freddy! I've missed you too! I didn't know you'll be here?"

Wait huh-

You're just there looking at them cause like? Huh? You two know eachother? From where???

"Ahem," the two of them avert their gazes towards you, as you fold your hands by your chest, looking for answers.

"Any of you care to explain?"

Gregory just kinda look at Freddy, panic written in his eyes as he obviously forgot that you had no idea about him sneaking in. And even causing some property damage...

Freddy took notice of this and slowly hint at Greg to go hide behind him, looking at you with tender eyes in hopes that you'll cut Gregory- no, both him and Gregory some slack.

Please spare em some mercy,,

"You see, Starlight... Gregory and i-"

"You even know his name?"

"Well, yes- but that's because we've met eachother you see."

You're just looking at Gregory who's behind Freddy's legs with those parental eyes, we all know em.

"Spill."

"It wasn't my fault!! I was trying to find you after school so i went here, but all i could find was that scary blonde lady.."

You put two of your fingers on your temple, trying to understand what he's telling you.

"Gregory, did it not occur to you that maybe, just maybe, i was at home? And what do you mean ‘after school’, the show starts at 8 pm."

Uh oh Gregory, you're busted, again.

"W-well.. i maaaybe took a detour and.."

"Gregory."

Freddy, noticing the tense atmosphere immediately got in the way of you two, as he then puts a hand on your shoulder to calm you down.

"Hey.. dearest, let's calm down, alright? It's the boy's birthday today! Cut him some slack, hm?"

"Right, before that. Greg, where were you actually when you weren't at home and told me that you were ‘spending the night at a friend's house’?"

Silence, even Freddy seems like he's hesitant in saying something.

"Gregory."

"I may or may not was... Here... With Freddy... But i was just trying to go home all night, i swear!"

You took a glance at Freddy for confirmation.

"That's right, dear!! He just, accidentally stayed a bit too long- which is my fault! And got trapped here due to closing time... Oh, but i did tried my best to keep him safe!"

Honestly? You're not worried all that much if Freddy kept him safe or not, it was such a great gesture sure, and the thought of it got you swooning a bit.

But like...

Gregory is your son, you know what he's capable of, and you know exactly the kind of trouble he has gotten himself into in the past.

Escaping a facility full of Animatronics that roams at night? Yeah that ain't gonna take your son down.

Still,, you're gonna need to look at his body for injuries once you get home, even though he may seem alright at the moment.

"So, the ‘little kid that snuck in and did some heavy property damage’ that Vanessa told me during her taking up my shift. That was you? Not only do i have to pay her back for having to deal with this type of trouble while covering for me, but also knowing that the one making that trouble is my own son? And the one that helped him did it, is the animatronic I'm dating?"

..

...

....

"..M-maybe it's time for some cake-?"

"...Yeah, i wanna eat my cake now.."

Goddammit.

How are you supposed to get mad at them now??

You sighed, letting both the bear animatronic and the kid go, you're gonna have to explain this to Vanessa somehow, but you're just thankful Gregory didn't let himself get caught by the security cameras. Or at least not enough for them to recognize him.

You're a bit proud of him for that tbh, and for being able to survive a whole night without crying or just,, trauma,, in general.

I guess you can let this slide... He is your feral child anyhow.

"Alright well, fine. I'll let this slide, for now. But only because you managed to impress me in some ways."

Freddy was happy you let this go, and was a bit surprised by your parenting skills. Still, he took the lighter and gave it to you, lighting the candles that is on Gregory's birthday cake.

"Happy Birthday, Darling."

"Happy Birthday, Superstar."

",,thanks guys! And (mom/dad)?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry :("

You sighed, petting him on the head. Might as well give him a nice birthday.

Montgomery Gator.

Now with Montgomery, everyone practically knew you were with him.

Since he loves showing you off to everyone, at this point it's obvious.

At one point, you kinda just blurted out that you have a kid, which in results have him really curious about your little guy.

He just wants to know if they're cool or not, who knows, maybe them two can both have some rockin' fun together!

He can teach him the Bass, cause some ruckus together and all will be well and dandy.

So you told him about Gregory, his age, how he is, etc etc.

The Gator CANNOT WAIT to meet him.

Though he kept saying that the name is kinda familiar, he just doesn't know from where, so he shrugged it off.

Back on topic; a little dude that is an absolute rowdy rascal?? He needs to meet him.

So you promised the animatronic that you'll bring your son when you can.

Which turns out to be around the next week.

Monty was playing in his golf area when you told him that your son is going to come soon.

My mans was so surprised he even missed his shot smh.

I mean, it's not like he forgot about it, haha, hahaha.

Yeah he forgot about the whole meeting your son thing. 😔

The only reason the little troublemaker can come today is because he doesn't have school the next day, so he can visit the Pizzaplex even when it's after-hours.

When Gregory arrived, he called you to ask where you were, in which you said you'll just pick him up at the entrance.

Now, when you told him to follow you into Monty Golf, he surprisingly walked ahead of you, as if he knew where it is.

And he did, somehow.

When you're at the entrance of Monty Golf, he stopped, waiting for you to catch up before asking to hold your hand when coming in.

Then the part where he meets Monty..

"Alright! Gregory, this is the person, well, animatronic who i wanted you to-"

"YOU."

You flinched, hearing Monty's voicebox boomed.

The animatronic stomped his way up to the poor boy, as he immediately hides behind you.

"AAAA (MOM/DAD) HELP!!!"

He pulled on your wrist, stumbling as he's trying to drag you to the exit.

As Monty walks menacingly towards Gregory, you got in front of him, pushing away the green animatronic.

"OKAY OKAY, WHAT'S GOING ON."

The way you raised your voice got both of them to stop, as you try to make sure no one gets hurt.

"THAT LITTLE BRAT IS THE REASON I WAS IN PARTS AND SERVICES FOR A WHOLE MONTH AND A HALF!"

"YOU WERE CHASING ME!!!"

"QUIET."

And the room falls silent, as you try to understand the current situation.

"Alright, explain. One at a time."

Yeah... Did you really think that'll work?

Both of them headbutts with eachother, trying to get you to side with them.

You rolled your eyes, as you try to make sense of what they're yelling at eachother.

"YOU FUCKING RIPPED ME IN HALF."

"YOU WERE TRYING TO FLIPPING RIP ME IN HALF!"

"Language- wait hold on. Gregory did what to you?"

A moment of silence began once more, before the bigger, metal built one out of the two scoffed, obviously displeased.

"Yeah, this rascal here, he threw the whole shitty bucket from my own goddamn area and-"

"Language."

"...and it fu- And it broke me in half."

He immediately fixed himself, trying to not disobey your warnings, no matter how annoying it may be to him.

Poor Gregory is just there looking at you like 🧍

You looked down at him, arms crossed as Monty had a smirk of satisfaction, thinking that he successfully got you to side with him.

"Two questions. One, how did you even ended up here, two, was the thing he said true? And you better say no."

He looks down, fiddling along as he slowly moves back.

You don't even know what happened when suddenly Gregory just goes >:(

Hands on his hips as he looks up, determined.

"HE-" The boy pointed, "WAS HUNTING ME DOWN!"

"He what-"

"WOAH THERE YOU LITTLE SHIT, I WAS TRYING TO GET YOU BACK TO YOUR PARENTS."

"LIAR!!! EVEN FREDDY TOLD ME NOT TO GET NEAR YOU, HE WAS WITH ME THE WHOLE TIME! AND YOU WERE JUST JUMPING AT ME WHICH WAS REALLY SCARY!"

"Kid, you fucking DESTROYED ME."

"GOOD."

"SHUT UP."

Finally, they calmed down.

You look at the both of them, intense glaring meeting both of their gazes.

After some time, they finally explained to you what happened, in which you responded with a big exasperated sigh.

"Look, i don't know how, but i want you two to get along." You told them, hand by the temple of your forehead to get rid of the headaches. Soon after, you go home with Gregory.

The first few days of your son coming with you to work that only happens on weekends finally started.

Yeah.. they didn't get along.

At first at least ;)

They had their banters, fighting for your attention.

"Does he always harass you like this??"

"Watch your mouth you fuckin' brat."

But soon enough they'll get along if they can actually move past the fact that they were out for eachother's throats-

Like when Gregory told him he can do golf better than him.

Monty was pissed- but it ended up well with them being competitive!!

They'll even cause some trouble by just stomping around the Pizzaplex with Gregory on Monty's shoulders AWE.

Or that time where they went to piss off Roxanne on purpose.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY YOU LITTLE SHITS."

"HAHAHA LANGUAGE!!!"

Cue Gregory wheezing.

Good job!! Now you have two crackheads to look after <3

Sunnydrop.

Now, this fella...

I think it's pretty obvious that he was absolutely ECSTATIC when he knew you have a kid!!

I mean, he's practically made to get along with kids sooo.

He would be BEGGING for him to meet your son.

"OOO gosh! I wonder what type of kid he is!!! Is he bad? Of course he isn't!! He's your son afterall! OH OH, MAYBE WE CAN DO FINGER PAINTING TOGETHER, what kind of food does he like???"

Like, smh, calm down Sun🧍

Watch out, cause he'll absolutely bother you about it from now on.

Trying to go home?

"OH OH! Goodbye, Sunshine!! Tell your even little-r Sunshine i said hi!!"

Just arrived at work?

"RISE AND SHINE! You look splendid today! How is little Gregory? Is he at school?? Ooh, i wanna see what he's like at school!!"

You constantly need to remind him that you two have work to do.

But at one point in time, you need to take Gregory with you because he doesn't have school, and you don't trust him enough to let the ten year-old boy be alone in your house for a whole day.

It took a little convincing since he for some reason seemed so against going to the Pizzaplex, but you managed to win him over with-

"I'll let us get McDonald's once I'm done with work."

"I want a Happy Meal AND a Mcflurry."

"??? No sir, you just had ice cream yesterday."

"Well then I'm not going."

"Gregory."

"I want a Mcflurry."

"You had ice cream last week too, you'll get sick."

"I don't care. >:("

"Gregory, i literally work at a Pizza place, you can have as much snacks there, just no ice cream."

"...fine, but can i at least play on your phone?"

"I'm very sure you have an ipad."

"It isn't as fun:("

With a sigh, you let out a small "fine." as he finally cheers at him own little victory, getting ready at the same time.

As you finally arrived to drop him off at the daycare to be looked over by Sun at the moment, the Sun persona jumped out of nowhere.

"(Y/NNNN)!!! HOORAY! Oh you brought a little guy! Hello, little on- GAH RULE BREAKER, RULE BREAKER! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! YOU'RE BANNED."

He yelled out, as he suddenly moves forward and picked up Gregory with ease. Carrying him all the way to the exit of the Daycare.

"AND STAY OUT!!"

Gregory kinda just let Sun do his thing, almost as if he knew this would happen.

You had to ask Sun directly on why he did what he did, and his answers shocks you.

"Wait, he was here? Like, here? In the Pizzaplex?"

"YES! And he broke the one rule i told him not to! He's nothing but a trouble maker!"

The way he folded his arms and sassily look away was so funny, you couldn't help but Chuckle. Gregory is still outside by the exit of the Daycare like 🧍.

Poor Gregory 😔.

You had to call him back again after convincing Sunny, explaining what happened.

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT THOUGH!! I didn't mean to turn off the lights.."

"I WARNED YOU!!! And you didn't listen to me! >:("

"BUT I DIDN'T MEAN IT :("

You had to ask Gregory how he even was here in the first place, with a facepalm by the end of your talk.

Sun sided with you, both of you crossing your arms with a disappointed and a bit of anger on both of your faces as you look down on him.

"Well, i suppose I'm just glad you're safe. But you're in so much trouble young man."

"That's right! Can't wait to tell this to your parents. >:(("

A moment of silence rung as you look at him, obvious confusion seen on your face.

"Sunny?"

"Hm?"

"I'm his (mom/dad). Haven't i told you that?"

..

WHAT.

He looks at you with so much surprise that he felt like he needed to express it with his whole body, before looking at Gregory.

"So he's your son?!?!"

"Uh, yeah, i am."

"WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?!"

He picked up Gregory once more, swinging him around in delight. Even tossing him up lightly.

Gregory being banned from the Daycare??? What are you talking about?? Never happened. :)

He would absolutely do a 180 on Gregory and treat him with very obvious favoritism.

And also emphasizing to NOT turn off the lights.

It's bad enough before he was just a kid, but now knowing he's your son??? Yeah he's making sure he's safe at all costs.

After that day, he'll bug you EVEN MORE to bring Gregory again.

He'll even prepare stuff for Gregory this time, what his favorite activities are, etc etc.

Peace and quiet? Never heard of it.

Good luck, comrade.