#which is an orange cake with lemon meringue

[mistbornhero]

*lounging in the floor with a drink and dark glasses, even indoors, for the aestheticTM

Hello my dear, what it's your favorite cake. Assuming you like cakes. Describe it to me.

Excellent aesthetic TM

Sorry for the delay in reply, yesterday a podfic event was closing so it was The Rush to finish followed by Too Tired To Think lmao

I think my favorite has always been Tres Leches Cake? Asked for it for most of my birthdays, she makes the cake itself with pancake mix, because why not, and then while it is hot you dump in a can of sweetened condensed milk and a can of evaporated milk and leave it (best overnight, because it has more time to soak up the flavor). And then once it's cooled down you take heavy cream and powdered sugar and whip up chantilly cream and (artfully) cover the whole cake.

So it's wet, I guess, and very sweet?

I also love chocolate cakes. All kinds? I have a great recipe for pecan chocolate cake, throw a ganache over it and ta-da. That one is less wet, but still moist? And has more cake texture because it's not as wet.

I do love cakes other people make, but my mom is great at baking so I'm also somewhat picky about it

Love Devil's Food cake? partially because of the name, partially because chocolate.

[q-starhalo]

Which QSMP characters (if any lol) line up with Strawberry Shortcake characters to you? Or which ones match vibe wise (minus angsty lore)

OH I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS OH MY GODDDDD

So obviously I'll be varying from different adaptations since not many characters are constant in personality (i.e Blueberry Muffin) and I think most of these will be the qsmp eggs BUT WHATEVER <333

★ Sunny is definitely Lemon Meringue from most adaptations aside from "Berry in the Big City" one. It's mostly because of Lemon's history of being a fashionista but her personality is also pretty fitting along with a bit of Raspberry Tart in the 2009 adaptation!

★ I feel like Em and/or Pomme line up with Orange Blossom (most adaptions) aside from "Berry in the Big City" (most of these don't really fit that adaption or from what I think so). I think it's because of Orange's bravery (in most cases). Though, Pomme also reminds me of Coco Calypso.

★ 'Lullah kind of reminds me of Angel Cake (both adaptions) (and maybe a bit Pomme). I think it's mostly because of the shift of personality between the adaptions that make me think this more but Angel Cake overall kind of fits 'Lullah.

★ Leo reminds me a good much of Rainbow Sherbet! No explanation as to to why but I think it fits sort of

★ Pepito reminds me of Apple Dumplin' (2003) mostly because of how carefree Apple is. Along with how Apple insists that she's all grown up in that one episode which fits pretty well with Pepito insisting Pepito is big Pepito and not small.

★ Phil reminds me specifically of 1980 Huckleberry Pie as this Huck is more laid back I guess? Like. Phil, to me anyways, takes things pretty slow along with maybeee Fit, especially in the early days? Not too sure but I feel like it fits from what I've seen. Cellbit also reminds me of 2003 Huckleberry when he was in his skateboarding arc for some reason?

★ Dapper lines up pretty well with Ginger Snap for some reason which I think it's because of Ginger Snap's love for machine but her personality does kind of fit Dapper. Dapper also kind of reminds me of Seaberry Delight who likes finding interesting things!

★ ElQuackity (?) WISHES he could be the Peculiar Purple Pie Man of Porcupine Peak. (Anyways, the bunny servents remind me of how the Purple Pie Man acts a bit)

★ Richas reminds me of Peppermint Fizz if she was doing competitions for fun and not because she's that competitive (or so I feel like that'd be the case)

It's currently 2 in the morning so I can't think of any more but I feel like there's a bit more connections then I've spoken about (especially because I haven't seen every episode). But for now, while some probably aren't nice connections, these are some of the qsmp members that I think line up with some of the Strawberry Shortcake characters <3 Thank you again for the ask <33

[peterlorres21stcentury]

a birthday feast

I couldn't finish everything I wanted to do for Peter's birthday, but I was reading my unreadable draft file (seriously, even I hate reading my own notes sometimes, it's like a lunatic wrote them. It's me, I am the lunatic) and I found a tasty little morsel that was intended to open my next kink story, during the wedding feast for the Baron and his bride. (yeah, I'm not wasting any time getting to the part with the foooood, lol) Since this feast takes place in the town square, the villagers supplied a good deal of their own food so it's an assortment of simpler dishes among the fancy rich-people fare, and everyone gets to eat as much as they can hold. Which is no different from any other day of the year in this town, but, uh, now there's even more food! I apparently tried to write out a crude menu, which includes but is not limited to:

wedding soup, cream soups, noodle soups, all kinda soup

roast beef, roast turkey, glazed ham, fish filet in garlic butter

bread rolls, both the light yeasty rolls and the dense chewy ones

fresh fruit drizzled in honey. Or candied fruit! I love that

walnuts and almonds rolled in brown sugar and cinnamon and baked until crisp

maybe an extra (large) platter of salty snacks like stuffed olives and gherkins and melted raclette cheese over veggies

cake, like a LOT of cake, all different cakes: strawberry shortcakes and airy meringues and Sachertorte and a tall white wedding cake, each layer stuffed with a different jam filling and slathered with thick layers of lemon and orange flavored buttercream

of course every single dish contains copious amounts of The Spice, making it a festival of enhanced flavors and heightened appetite.

This is, of course, a sort of stream of consciousness intended to answer the question "what would I like to eat?" and also more importantly, "what would Peter Lorre like to eat?" since I'm essentially writing about him in the role of a true hedonist. Which I like to think he was in real life, too, just a bit. ^_^

Sooo, even if I couldn't write out the entire scene yet, consider this an offering of sorts for Peter's birthday feast. I like to think that our fan creations, including descriptions of illusory food, sustains him somehow in the afterlife (which is perhaps silly of me, but it does tap into a certain prehistoric belief about funeral offerings and immortality).

[kirythestitchwitch]

'First Base' - Mafia AU Sequel - American Pie

Caroline is attempting to negotiate some terms.

Caroline hummed, super convinced. "And we're going to eat hot dogs?"

"I'm not going to have a heart attack from just one, am I?" he asked, like he didn't order a pizza with everything on it last week when he came over for a marathon of Chopped on Food Network. It was probably a secret that Caroline would take to her grave that Klaus greatly enjoyed the culinary competition show. He'd come over and make himself comfortable on one side of her couch–now that he was allowed on it–and he always brought an offering of food for her coffee table.

To anyone else, it would have been a surreal sight, seeing Klaus with a paper plate balanced on one knee gesturing at the tv with a half-eaten slice of pizza. "Mint isn't going to be as surprising with that citrus as you think it will, basil would impress the judges more."

"Basil, on a cake?" Caroline said, picking artichoke hearts off her slices. The pizza place Klaus used had been a Kol recommendation, which meant it was a hole-in-the-wall hipster start-up with some truly off-the-wall ideas of what constituted 'everything.'

Klaus put a hand to his heart. "I promise you, it's a subtle combination.” Going back to his pizza for a moment, he chewed while watching the contestant chop herbs frantically on the screen. “There's a bakery off North Avenue, they have a Lemon Basil Meringue Pie in the summer and it is divinely refreshing. I’ll order one for next time.”

Leaning back against the armrest, Caroling nudged his thigh with her sparkly pink-painted toes. “It’s nice that you’ve accepted our country’s lax definitions of pies.”

Setting his empty plate on the table, Klaus shoved the last bite of his slice of pizza in his mouth and chewed, wiping his hands on a napkin. He turned his body so that his back was in the crook of the couch arm, one black jeaned leg bent on the seat. Nabbing one of her feet, he pulled her toward him a few inches and she slid down the padded arm with a squeak, her plate wobbling precariously.

“Your pies,” he said with the air of a man stepping up on a soapbox, “defy any kind of logic.” His thumbs pressed into the ball of her foot and rubbed, and Caroline may have let out a noise that was a little obscene. “I’ll be under the presumption that that’s just a tart in the wrong baking shell, but no, you’ve put meringue all over it and toasted it with a torch.”

Caroline hummed blissfully and started in on her pizza. “And it was a brilliant plan, wasn’t it?” 

“And then,” Klaus said, ignoring her question but continuing to massage her foot, “You Americans made a pie out of a potato, but you insist it’s a dessert pie. It’s orange, and it’s still not as suspicious as whatever a 'Hoosier' Pie is. They neglected to put anything other than sugar into that one.”

“Wait wait, I know this one!” Caroline cast around in her memory for an episode of maybe Good Eats on Pies she saw once. “Those were invented by the Amish or the Quakers or something for winter when they didn’t have any fruit and everything sucked.” 

"It's a custard, it belongs in a bowl. I'm not even going to touch your savory pies, the less said about those the better." He made a disgusted face.

She giggled to herself. "Someone tried to feed you a Cheeseburger Pie, didn't they?"

"Spaghetti Pie and I'll thank you to never bring up either option again."

"Okay technically," she said around a bite of bread and cheese. His hands really were magical as they eased the tension in the arch of her foot. "Those belong to the 'casserole' family and not the 'pie' family. The name is misleading, you can't technically categorize those as pies. There are also liars like the Boston Crème Pie and the Cheesecake, which each belong to the opposite family."

"And we're back to my original point: they defy logic."

[maywrites264]

Clock Out [Charisma House Fanfic]

About

- Has Kaname in it.

- Basically my idea for what would be a season 3 premiere.

- Shu Matsubara please consider me as a cowriter for official Charisma House episodes /j

- I have not watched every single episode of the series so if some stuff is wrong. Too bad I guess.

- Updates every Sunday

- Content Warnings: Um…none, I guess? Unless you count a somewhat intense argument between a mother and child? Also pedophilia is mentioned in (1) line.

Navigation

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Chapter 1 (Order Up!)

Working at a full time job can be a huge commitment for someone, as they would spend most of the day working rather than engaging in hobbies or things they enjoy. For Kaname Maeno, he was up for the task of taking a job to better his life. He only lived with his mom before starting work, and was an unemployed high school graduate with no interest in any higher education, as he’d much rather be playing video games in his room than doing anything else.

His mother was disappointed, because she knew her son had potential, he just wasn’t using it. Perhaps employment could be the key for him to get out of his hikikomori lifestyle. He could make friends at work, and seek higher opportunities once he makes a stable enough income. But of course, this is not the way things went. At least, not at first.

It had been about a week since Kaname started working at the café known as Caralatte, and it wasn’t super great in his experience. As a waiter, he had to take every order with a smile, but secretly hated every second. It seemed like every customer went out of their way to ignore him, whether it were the teenage girls thinking he was the most adorable little thing, or the old perverts who wanted to get close to someone who looked like a little boy.

But yesterday was somewhat pleasant…or at least it was better than the previous days. Kaname saw a face that he never met before, a boy who seemed to be around his age, with short black hair and an orange outfit. This person looked relatively normal, but he was prepared for the worst.

As the other waiters were busy with other customers, Kaname waltzed towards the peculiar man, praying that there would be no complications or complaints. He took a deep breath and flashed his usual fake smile. “Hi, my name is Kaname Maeno, and I’ll be your waiter for today. What will you be ordering?”

The customer smiled mischievously and tapped his fingers against the table, which Kaname saw as an obvious bad sign. Nevertheless, the mystery man didn’t make an impression that he’d cause too much trouble…until he started ordering.

“I’ll have a chocolate cake, a strawberry sundae, some caramel custard, a lemon meringue pie, 6 sugar cookies…” Jesus Christ…was this man ordering for a party? Or would he eat this all by himself? It seemed like this man was ordering faster than Kaname’s hand could write down, and just as it seemed like he finished, there was much, much more to write down.

Miraculously, the constant orders suddenly ended, giving Kaname (and his poor hands) a breath of relief. “W-will that be all, sir?” he asked, trying not to go insane from what he just witnessed.

“I’ll also have some ice cream, because today is my birthday,” the strange customer requested. Kaname sighed heavily, hoping the chefs won’t pass out from the intense amount of items they’d have to make in such a limited amount of time. Even the other clients looked at this man in shock, but he didn’t seem to care a bit.

“Alright, your total will be…uh…¥760,860…do you want a receipt?” Kaname asked, struggling to keep his polite tone at this point. In response, the client shook his head and laughed, acting like he could afford all this? Of course, to the struggling waiter, this was another gluttonous rich kid, just trying to test his limits. If he didn’t get a good tip, he’d be pissed.

After about two hours, all of the items the bizarre man ordered were ready. Kaname was prepared to hear a long rant about how the chefs took too long, or how something was undercooked, or some other outrageous complaint as he served the customer his food, but all he received was a “thank you”.

…huh? This was odd…it seemed like every other person he had to serve was rude and unpleasant, but this was the first time he heard a “thank you” from someone he had the “pleasure” of serving. Kaname tried not to hide his shock, but did seem a little embarrassed. He figured he’d at least show his gratitude, it was the least he could do in this situation, anyway.

“It’s my pleasure to serve you tonight. Have a happy birthday, sir.” As Kaname walked off, it was getting closer to closing time, and the amount of people looking for a sweet treat slowly decreased. He looked towards the window, seeing all the stars swirl across the sky…perhaps, it was a sign that the night was going to not be filled with pain. Maybe, for once, his mother wouldn’t have to yell at him for not going to work, or he wouldn’t have to be so angry. At least for tonight, things felt normal…

Fumiya walked to the Charisma Sharehouse with a smile (and some crumbs) on his face, fully knowing that it was not his birthday and had tricked the waiter into giving him a slight discount. He didn’t think much of it, it was basically routine for him. Just as he was about to make a right turn on the next street, he overheard an intense argument coming from a nearby apartment.

“You always come home from work so angry, why not put a smile on your face?”

“Smile? What is there to fuckin’ smile about? I spend at least seven hours every goddamn day puttin’ on this fake smile only for people to harass and berate me!”

It didn’t seem super important to Fumiya, who cared about the drama of someone they didn’t know? However…one of the voices seemed familiar, which pulled him in to listen closer.

“You have to understand that work isn’t always pleasant, sweetie. And besides, you only started recently. Who’s to say that you won’t end up liking it in the end?”

“I’m to say! And I hate this shitty job and everyone I’ve met here!! And you wouldn’t even care, because you just want me to make money, don’t you? So I can be a good member of society like everyone else?”

Eventually, Fumiya decided to pull himself away, but not before he heard a scathing “I hate you” from (what he assumed to be) the son directed towards his mother. But the Charisma of Good and Evil just decided to shake it off, it wasn’t that important…but that simple phrase stuck in his mind, “I hate you.” It kept circling in his mind, with the bearer of those words reminding him of the nice waiter he met earlier that day.

“I hate you.” “I hate you.” “I hate-”

PPPPPPPPPPPPPP! The sharp sound of Rikai’s whistle interrupted Fumiya’s muddled thoughts. “Itou Fumiya, if there is one thing you should not do, it is enter the house with crumbs on your face! Go grab a napkin and clean it up!”

Of course, Fumiya’s first instinct was to question what he did wrong. “Hmm? Why?”

“Because it is not sanitary to leave pieces of food on your face! What if one of the crumbs falls off and it attracts a bug?! Then our house will become infested, and they can easily reproduce at any moment! So, I am kindly requesting you to clean it up!” Rikai complained, readily pulling out his whistle to blow again.

Not wanting to have his thoughts interrupted again, Fumiya grabbed a napkin and cleaned the crumbs off his face, but Rikai noticed that the former had a strange expression while doing it. “Is everything alright, Fumiya-san?”

“Everything is fine,” replied Fumiya, not in the mood to discuss what he heard while walking home.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Rikai felt like the youngest Charismatic was lying, which wasn’t a surprise, because Fumiya lied like he was getting paid a million dollars every time he did so. But this specific lie felt particularly strange, because he wasn’t the type to seem bothered by anything. And yet, Fumiya was clearly bothered…

“No, something is wrong. Fumiya-san, you must tell me what it is,” Rikai requested, hoping that at least some clues will be given.

“Nothing is wrong at all,” Fumiya answered, keeping his nonchalant facade intact.

“Something is wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong.”

“No, something is wrong.”

“Nope, nothing is wrong.”

The two went back and forth with each other for a few minutes, before a small voice interrupted. “E-excuse me…” It was Ohse, nearly curling up into a ball out of embarrassment.

“Ah, Ohse-kun! You haven’t come out of your room all day!” Rikai was pleased with the fact that Ohse finally decided to check in on the others for the day. “What brings you here at this hour?”

Ohse seemed nervous, repeatedly stammering over his words for a few minutes before Rikai and Fumiya assured him that he could say whatever he wanted. “I-is it okay if my friend stays over for a bit?”

Fumiya seemed oddly pleased by this question, with another (at least temporarily) resident of the house to break up the flow of the daily routine. Rikai, however, grimaced immediately after Ohse made his request.

“After the last time we had someone stay over, I’m not too keen on letting anyone stay for an extended period of time.” Rikai paused after seeing Ohse’s disappointment. “Can you inform us on who this person is?”

This question made Ohse even more anxious, not sure if Rikai would approve of his answer. “Well, it’s someone I met online, but-”

Rikai immediately huffed in disgust, not letting Ohse finish his statement. “Someone you met online?! Don’t you know how dangerous the internet can be?!?! You can be scammed, or doxxed, or kidnapped! Ohse-kun, I surely do not approve of this behavior!”

“Wait!” Ohse interrupted, before the Charisma of Order could go on another long rant. “I may not know his full name, or have seen his face…I’ve only heard his voice, but we have spent multiple hours in games together, and we have been in voice calls and…and…he made me want to live just a little bit more…” He took a deep breath before continuing. “He got into an argument with his mom and said he just needs a few days in order to fix things, just please let him stay…!”

Argument with his mother? Fumiya thought. No, surely this couldn’t be the person he overheard saying “I hate you” to his mom, right? …right? He looked over at Rikai, who shook his head in anguish.

“Alright…but we need to make sure that our house is completely spotless for our new arrival,” Rikai demanded. “When is he coming?”

“Um…tomorrow…”

“TOMORROW?!?!?!” Rikai entered a state of panic, knocking on every door in the house in order to initiate a group cleanup session. Most of the Charismatics were not thrilled to suddenly be called into cleanup, but Iori was absolutely ecstatic!

The night was long and filled with yelling and arguments, but the members of the sharehouse managed to clean up just in time for their guest.

The next morning, the doorbell rang, with everyone at once rushing over to greet the new (temporary) resident. However, one of them wasn’t expecting who this guest would be…

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you all. My name is Kaname Maeno.”

Charisma Charge: Success

[justarandompersonxd]

All of the asks if you feel like it! If not lemme know :)

(Ps I'm still working on your ask/answers sfgjldgrg)

hi love ^^, take your time hehe

weird asks that say a lot

in

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? water bottles

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? chocolate bars all the way

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? not cause it wasn't me lmao

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? i prefer not to drink soda at all. glass cups if i had to

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? tomboy

7. earbuds or headphones? headphonessss

8. movies or tv shows? tv shows!

9. favorite smell in the summer? flowerssssss

10. game you were best at in p.e.? sucked at all of em pfff

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? bread with peanut butter

12. name of your favorite playlist? mix 1

13. lanyard or key ring? lanyard ^^

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? old dutch candy: boterwafels

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? don't really like bok school assignments

16. most comfortable position to sit in? sideways or backwards

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? work boots

18. ideal weather? 16 degrees celcius, no breazy, cloudy skies

19. sleeping position? whatever th brain wants that day

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? note book

21. obsession from childhood? what is childhppd (joking). marvel and viva pinata

22. role model? lmao none

23. strange habits? i eat weird and i drink weird. don't really know how to describe it pfff

24. favorite crystal? bismuth

25. first song you remember hearing? no clue sorry

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? swimminggggg

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? sleeping probably

28. five songs to describe you? wolfpack (blind channel) hallelujah i'm not dead (citizen soldier) brittle (icon for hire) sunflower (icon for hire) in need of medicine (smash into pieces

29. best way to bond with you? ask me about my hyperfixations :D

30. places that you find sacred? my room

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? none, i don't like confrontations

32. top five favorite vines? free shavacadoo, work road ahead and tomas sanders story time series

33. most used phrase in your phone? idk man, im on kaptop

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? none at the moment

35. average time you fall asleep? 2 am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? fnaf memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag? duffel bag

38. lemonade or tea? tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? had neither so-

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? people really loved throwing chairs

41. last person you texted? my qpp ^^ @stephlastname

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? pants pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap? lemon

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? n o t h i n g, just underwear

47. favorite type of cheese? all of them

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? orange or banana

49. what saying or quote do you live by? try to be kind

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? mostly stories my friend tells

51. current stresses? too much-

52. favorite font? wingdingssss

53. what is the current state of your hands? pretty a okay

54. what did you learn from your first job? s p i e g e l e n

55. favorite fairy tale? one out of a fabke book my gramma got me. it was about a fox and a heron finding about each other's struggles.

56. favorite tradition? eh. don't really have 1

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? accepting myself breaking free from my family choosing myself

58. four talents you’re proud of having? being able to calm people down drawingg writinggg and talking skills

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? dont actually know

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? cooking anime

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? we're all different people troughout our lives

62. seven characters you relate to? tenth doctor 11th doctor felicity smoak

63. five songs that would play in your club? icon for hire and smahs into pieces

64. favorite website from your childhood? google+

65. any permanent scars? 1 on my left shoulder (innerworld). a couple on my legs. a couple on my left arm and shoulder. and a bunch on my head

66. favorite flower(s)? sunflowers ^^

67. good luck charms? phoenix keychain

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? sour

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? i know about 8 ways to dispose of a body

70. left or right handed? right handed

71. least favorite pattern? dots my beloathed

72. worst subject? maths

73. favorite weird flavor combo? sweet and savoury

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 5

75. when did you lose your first tooth? sammich

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? poffed potato

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? vinessss

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? grocery store sushi

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? neither

80. earth tones or jewel tones? jewel tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? fireflies :0

82. pc or console? console

83. writing or drawing? writing

84. podcasts or talk radio? podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket? neither

85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? cookies

87. your greatest fear? becoming like my parents

88. your greatest wish? getting to run around the wild like my kintypes

89. who would you put before everyone else? my qpp 100 percent

90. luckiest mistake? dont actually know

91. boxes or bags? bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? fairy lights

93. nicknames? so many

94. favorite season? winter

95. favorite app on your phone? simplyplural

96. desktop background? a screencap from no man's sky

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? my own and my mom's

98. favorite historical era? ancient greece

[tastesoftamriel]

What have the Tamrielic races got in terms of candy? I know the Khajiit have moon sugar brittle and the Nords got their honey sweets, but what else is there?

There are so many sweets in Tamriel it'll make your teeth hurt, and I'm lucky enough to have tried loads of them! These are some of my favourite treats...

Redguards

I adore going to Hammerfell sweetshops, which are packed to the rafters with fresh candies and pastries dripping in honey. The Redguards enjoy sweet cakes flavoured with exotic spices like cardamom and nutmeg, along with syrups of rose, coconut, and salty caramel soaking right through them. My favourite, however, is deep-fried sugar swirls, which are made from thick coconut sugar syrup that's fried in hot oil, fresh from the cauldron!

Bretons

The Bretons are known for their boozy filled candies, which are quite inventive and pack some punch (literally)! Aside from the famous brandy-filled chocolates, High Rock is home to some of Tamriel's best patisseries. From airy butter tarts filled with brandy jam, to jaw-dropping tiered fruit cakes with absinthe-filled fizzy lemon sweets, you'll be in heaven if you're a fan of desserts!

Argonians

The Argonians don't have much of a sweet tooth, but they do love tropical fruits and a curious nectar from a native Murkmire plant, scuttlebloom. Papaya and watermelon "cakes" are layered fruit wrapped into little rice paper parcels which are then soaked in scuttlebloom nectar and served slightly chilled. Another favourite is steamed sago pudding, served either hot or cold, with chopped yams, preserved palm fruit, barley pearls, and fresh fruits. Refreshingly different and totally moreish.

Khajiit

Now where do I even begin with the Khajiit? From pastries and biscuits to boiled sweets and airy spun moon sugar, sugar-tooth has a double meaning the second you cross the border to Elsweyr. My personal favourite are caramel tarts, which are a sweet biscuit shell filled with caramel pudding, topped with moon sugar, and blasted with a lick of fire (often spells) to grill the top to crackling perfection. And of course, you can try my Moon Sugar Brittle and Senchal Baklava for a taste of Southern Elsweyr too!

Bosmer

In addition to chewing or smoking sweetgnats, Green Pact followers have mastered to an art the creation of naturally sweetened animal meats and milks through generations of selective breeding and a staunch diet of moon sugar cane and fruits. Sugar mammoths are a smaller breed of timber mammoth that fall under the criteria, and their milk is pleasantly sweet and easy to caramelise. It makes it the perfect base for creamy desserts, and the meat of the sugar mammoth is prized for its sweet but meaty flavour. A typical Bosmer dessert would be a baked egg pudding topped with a flame-grilled scuttlecream meringue, which is perfectly sweet and balanced!

Nords

You're right about Nords having a slight addiction to honey, which is the basis of our sugar, though we also grow sugar beets to a smaller degree. Aside from Honey Nut Treats and taffy, we're also famous for our honey-based hard boiled sweets, which are delicious plain or flavoured with berries, juniper, and other herbs. Think of a little ball of mead, unless you dislike mead. I should probably have tried to sell this a little harder, but I do enjoy both mead and boiled honey sweets.

Dunmer

Traditional desserts from Vvardenfell are a bit confusing to mainland Tamrielic tastes, and are often sweet saltrice-based soups flavoured with ingredients like comberry, ginger and ash yams, served with glutinous saltrice dumplings stuffed with roasted gold kanet seeds or sweet ash yam paste. Cakes are common as an afternoon snack, and range from simple marshmerrow sponges to intricate scuttlecream chocolate sculptures.

Orsimer

Orcs aren't huge fans of desserts or candy in general (bad for the tusks), but there are a fair few stronghold staples that are understandably praiseworthy. My favourite is echatere cream cheese torte, which is made from a divinely light cheese creme that has the distinctive grassy scent of echatere milk, set deep in a buttery biscuit crust. It isn't overwhelmingly sweet and is perfect plain, though some variations also include berry compote, vanilla, and even ingredients like citrus and lemongrass among the Wood Orcs of Valenwood.

Altmer

Dessert isn't great for the Altmer figure, but you'll need to exercise serious control when you see the patisseries of Summerset! The High Elves are less prone to munching on sweets, preferring dried fruit such as blood orange peels, pomegranate "raisins", and candied ginger. In fact, candied ginger is the star of a famous Alinor cupcake, which is a little confection of vanilla sponge soaked in lemon syrup and orange blossom liqueur, filled with a fragrant ginger marzipan, and topped with a soft orange crème and candied ginger pieces.

Imperials

The Imperials are famous for their simple yet perfectly balanced cakes and pastries, which feature natural flavours from ingredients imported from around Tamriel. Everything from saffron from Taneth to almonds from Elsweyr can be found at the Imperial City markets, and there are cakes and candies galore you can sample. In terms of a classic Cyrodiilic dessert, I adore a good coffee liqueur cake, made from layers of coffee pudding and creamy rum jelly on a crisp coffee biscuit crust. It's best served cold, with a strong shot of espresso to wash it down!

[ofcloudsandstars]

Summer Solstice {Litha} Fantasy Feast

It’s here!! Nearly in the final hour!! Have been wicked busy but still dedicated to fulfilling my self imposed duty this year to upgrade all of my 2016 fantasy feasts. It brings me joy each year seeing people reblog my old feasts especially as those posts did help me to visualize and manifest incredible magical celebrations with friends. However as time goes on my standards unfortunately get higher and my tastes more elaborate so I felt it was time to redo my Summer Solstice vision. I hope this post with included recipes below get you in a hot summery mood! 

Here are the previous feasts this year: Winter Crossquarter, Spring Equinox, Spring Crossquarter (And here was Litha 2016)

In the read more there are the recipe links and additional explanations on personal symbolism and of course the image credits! I also always plan my feasts to be vegan inclusive for those with dietary restrictions but also aim for all the food to be somewhat local which matters in these seasonal feasts since it’s celebrating local nature. Anyway there is something for everyone here.

1: Starters The ideal Summer Solstice feast to me is a mad fiery pagan bonfire bbq. If we are talking about a celebration honoring the fiery sun, summertime and food, my mind goes to a grill. However most BBQs can end up getting heavy quickly. Therefore the starters are a bit light. There will be charred vegetable skewers, steamed seafood, shrimp cocktail and jalapeno poppers. Honorable mention would be blistered padron peppers.

Garlic Herb roasted Shrimp with homemade Cocktail sauce recipe Balsamic Grilled Veggie Skewers Recipe Seafood image Source  (I would ideally want to serve just steamed seafood. The image is from a Paella recipe which is very summery but Paella is definitely a main dish and not a starter). 

Jalapeno Poppers Recipe Blistered Padron Peppers Recipe

2: Sides The bread choice for this feast will be focaccia with sundried tomatoes and garden herbs. Other dishes will be charred bell peppers, and a refreshing cucumber tomato salad.

Chili herb tomato focaccia bread recipe (vegan with olives image source) Homemade Roasted Bell Peppers Recipe Cucumber Tomato Salad Recipe

3: Mains The grill would provide a selection of food, but the main feature would be marinated barbeque ribs. The plant based option would be stuffed grilled bell peppers with smoked paprika.

Stuffed Bell Peppers image source (there’s no vegan recipes online that I find satisfying so I would prepare this with sautéed pinto beans with red onions in tomato sauce, smoked paprika, coriander and topped with a dash of chili flakes and oat crème fraiche). Marinated Ribs Source (Beer-b-q ribs recipe)

4: Desserts Summer is the fruity season!! We start to see more fruits in season towards the Summer crossquarter harvest, yet Summer Solstice sees strawberries and in some regions melons start to ripen. Other fruits I associate with this sabbat are light citrus flavors from Lemon, Grapefruit and Lime. Also since I was raised in NJ a regional summery treat we have are orange creamsicles. It’s a dreamy creamy citrus delight and has a special place in my heart so I feel like since it evokes summer so well for me it deserves a spot here. For each sabbat dessert I have a tart of choice, a cake of choice and a special dish. The tart for Summer Solstice is torn between a fresh strawberry tart and a lemon meringue, but I would ultimately choose  a lemon meringue tart with flamed mallow topping. The cake would be strawberry shortcake, and the special dessert would be an icecream cake (could change flavors per year but would mostly be orange creamsicle). Alternatives provided would be ice cream cookies as they are easy to make with vegan options/dietary restrictions and in different variety of flavors to suit peoples pallets. Also if you are in a region where it’s available, definitely a watermelon fruit salad. Watermelon was such a big part of summer in NJ but in England its like out of region so it’s mostly strawberries over here.

Curly Dock and Strawberry Balsamic Tart Wondersmith recipe Simple Strawberry Shortcake Recipe

Lemon Meringue Tart Icecream Sandwiches source (simple ice cream sandwich recipe) Icecream Sandwich Bars vegan Orange Creamsicle Icecream Cake Recipe Strawberry Shortcake Icecream Cake (I was obsessed with these icecream bars as a kid)

5: Drinks Fruits really make their way into everything during summertime and the drink selection would reflect this. Only thing not pictured here would be an elderflower fresh mint iced tea which will be cooling and refreshing to counter act all the hot and spicy foods. Other than that of course the main non-alcoholic drink will be lemonade! For the alcoholic selection I would love Strawberry wine, boozy melon bowls and grapefruit shandies (shoffenhofer tastes like summer on tap it will change your life). The spirit of choice will be tequila. Something about tequila is so fiery, summery and solar. I would make spicy mezcal sunset margaritas and flamed tequila shots.

Dragon Lemonade Holder Strawberry Wine Recipe Grapefruit Shandy Recipe (Shoffenhofer) Boozy melon Bowl (the Recipe is for Subak Hwachae which is a Korean boozy bowl with Soju)  Spicy Sunset Margarita Recipe

6: Treats Final part!! You can tell I am a very sensory person and one thing that made celebrations and holidays memorable as a kid were always the treats you walked away with. The little candies, snacks and tokens. If I were to have a celebration with a whole community including kids I would include some of these. Summery sweets for me were salt water taffy, fruity gummies (especially shark gummies), sticky sun drops on paper and fruity candies with melon, strawberry and citrus flavors. For savory options I would love spicy and smoky treats from fiery chili chips to smoked paprika crisps.

Salt Water Taffy (Recipe) Shark Sour Gummies Fruit Candy Selection Flaming Hot Party Mix

________________________________

If you made it this far thank you so much for reading it all!! Hope I put you on a visual sensory experience for the summer. I would love to hear what dishes and foods you associate with the summer solstice or summer time in general.

You can check my litha tag for more ideas or my correspondence list for why I associate certain things with this time of year.

________________________________

Image Credits: Litha Art by Julia Nikitina Bonfire Party Lemon Beeswax Candles Summer tablescape Bonfire gif Grill Gold and Red tent Flames Fire Dancers Fire Breather Gif - From me actually! It was my first summer solstice party and there were fire breathers. I took this video. Bilbo Baggins Birthday (Lets be real, the ultimate summer solstice party would be that shire party) Fruit Bowls Fireflies gif Flaming Shots Grapefruit Cocktail Beach Sunset

[squinkus]

Thanks for the tag @doggerell 💚

three ships: The ones that are currently on my mind… narumitsu 💙❤️ ferdibert 🧡🖤 klapollo ❤️💜

first ship: It was probably the Death Note gays or else Soul & Maka from Soul Eater when I was 10 / 11

last song: Todas Mis Palabras which is a Spanish cover band of my favourite musicians, The Magnetic Fields. This is a really pretty & faithful cover of All My Little Words that is both educational for me learning the language, and makes me feel like I’m being crushed by a grand piano💚

last movie: UHHHH… it was either Encanto or Angry Birds 2 with my besties. Don’t ask. I can’t watch or focus on movies unless I’m being held hostage 🗿

currently reading: Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky (for fun), and Ordinary Men by Christopher Browning (for a class)

currently watching: I think I have finished watching all of my shows… I was thinking of rewatching The Good Place now that I’m almost finished with a minor in Ethics 🤸‍♂️ Technically I am also waiting for the next Better Call Saul season hiiiii

currently consuming: Mandarin orange + green tea vitamin water

currently craving: Birthday cake in my fridge except it’s not a cake, it’s a lemon meringue pie because I don’t really eat cake. My birthday pie…….

[aiweirdness]

AI AI Weirdness

Now that GPT-3 is capable of writing entire personality quizzes (sort of), could it write an entire blog post for me?

I prompted GPT-3 with “Welcome to AI Weirdness! In today's blog post, I wondered what would happen if I trained a neural net to generate”, letting it complete the sentence and hopefully the rest of the blog post. Result: it has weird ideas about what would make an interesting post.

—-

Welcome to AI Weirdness! In today's blog post, I wondered what would happen if I trained a neural net to generate numbers in the range [-1,1]. As you might expect, the neural net started generating numbers that were more than a little odd: 0.9286401128496419 0.06491227721694329 0.9879906435756054 0.745677946535383 0.679450170988766 0.1065339560745793 -0.2977483969426606 0.05673549481890381 0.4304206725753945 0.7544217043730188 -0.8960721608636865 0.7224255864247317 -0.2139997613483644 0.0295771285597738 0.619233475195753 0.05578493537857566 -0.630712498931699 -0.0506476255464803 0.3256973044703828 0.0988207888549295

—-

Welcome to AI Weirdness! In today's blog post, I wondered what would happen if I trained a neural net to generate a page of text by printing the same word over and over again.

—-

Welcome to AI Weirdness! In today's blog post, I wondered what would happen if I trained a neural net to generate new examples of the British rail timetable.

—-

The other completions it suggested tended to be even less interesting: long technical preludes about hidden layers of neurons and training data while never getting around to posting the results, or else posts in which the neural net was generating images that we never got to see.

I decided to get more specific, writing the topic and preamble myself so I could get straight to the neural net generated neural net generated results. (Yes, this is meta enough that I’m beginning to get confused). And, in a final twist that I almost wish I hadn’t tried, I wrote that the neural net’s results were weird. (First paragraph is my prompt, and the text that follows is verbatim from the neural net.)

—-

Welcome to AI Weirdness! In today's blog post, I trained a neural net to generate new kinds of cake by giving it thousands of existing recipe names. Unfortunately, the neural net was terrible at it, creating totally terrible-sounding recipe titles. Half of them seem to contain non-food ingredients. Here's a list of some of the strangest titles:

Dump With Brown Ink Shot Show Ball Dr. Huge Crust Daily Beige Coarse Sugar Cheese Yellow Cheese Huge Aluminum Easy Nuts Beans Pancakes Butter Cabbage Cake Lemon Tough Compote Rice Cake Minced Pepper Chocolates Muffins Sugar Pancakes Butter Custard Orange Tart Vanilla Coffee Spaghetti Jam Caramel Cake Sticky Meat Orange Stew Honey Honey Lemon Lemon Honey Lemon

—-

I’m not sure how I feel about all this. Because I (and so many other people) have used neural nets to generate so much weird stuff, it’s now possible for me to use a neural net, trained on blog posts about the work of previous simpler neural nets, to pretend that I have trained a smaller neural net to generate weird things.

And it’s giving me weird things because I’m specifically asking for them. Here’s what I got when I gave it a preamble saying the neural net cake names could pass as human, and then again (at the same creativity setting) when the preamble said these were classic human cakes. As before, I supplied the first paragraph, and the neural net wrote the rest.

—-

Welcome to AI Weirdness! In today's blog post, I trained a neural net to generate new kinds of cake by giving it thousands of existing recipe names. It actually did a really good job! I wouldn't be surprised to see most of these on real recipe blogs. Here are some of the most interesting:

Sunset Strawberry Cake Seaweed Chocolate Cake Spaghetti Caramel Cake Butter Lemon Cake French Honey Cake Rainbow Strawberry Cake Mozilla Grape Cake Banana Honeycake Chocolate Heaven Cake Chocolate Jelly Cake Cherry Lemon Cake Tobacco Lime Cake Vanilla Cheesecake Black Coffee Lemon Meringue

——

Welcome to Janelle's cooking blog, in which I look at the most commonplace recipes in American cooking. Today, I thought I'd list some of the most frequently-baked cake recipes, the ones that anyone in the Midwest has probably had dozens of times. If you want to blend in, look no farther than these recipe titles:

Three-Minute Cake One-Bowl Chocolate Cake Lemon Cake Mix Cake Golden Butter Cake Angel Food Cake White Velvet Cake Yellow Cake Moist Chocolate Cake Hot Milk Chocolate Cake Hot Milk Banana Nut Bread -- I didn't realize that this one fit the "extremely common" category, but it does, oh yes, it does. Calico Shortbread Ranch Shortbread Lemon Chiffon Squares -- Makes 8 servings German Chocolate Cake Seven-½ Layer Cake -- Need to make one now Cheesecake -- No sugar necessary -- makes 8 servings

—-

Although the neural net doesn’t completely succeed in creating realistic content, it’s clear that “neural net weirdness” is a writing style it knows how to produce on command. What does it mean when the neural nets are weird because we’ve asked them to be, not because they’re trying and failing to be ordinary? Maybe the creative work is now to figure out ways to nudge AIs into being weird and interesting rather than producing inane imitations of the most ordinary human writing.

After all, left to its own devices, GPT-3 would be writing A.I. Weirdness posts about numbers between -1 and +1. Neural nets have terrible taste.

Subscribers get bonus content: the favorite cookie recipes of famous Star Wars villains!

My book on AI, You Look Like a Thing and I Love You: How Artificial Intelligence Works and Why it’s Making the World a Weirder Place, is available wherever books are sold: Amazon - Barnes & Noble - Indiebound - Tattered Cover - Powell’s - Boulder Bookstore

[books-andspace]

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

coffee mugs and teacups (i collect them lol)

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate bars

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

bubble gum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

ask my mom lol she’s always been my teacher

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Bottles or glass cups

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Boho, tomboy, and grunge mixed

7. earbuds or headphones?

It depends on my mood but usually earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows

9. favorite smell in the summer?

thunderstorms

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

p.e.? what is that?

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

blueberry bagel

12. name of your favorite playlist?

ben barnes and his english literature degree

13. lanyard or key ring?

key rinnggg

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

skittles or lifesaver gummies

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

Hmmmm Johnny Appleseed

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

On the couch, cross legged

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Orange and white striped converse, but actually it’s my blue-grey plaid converse with a little white star cut out of both sides

18. ideal weather?

RAIIINNNNN

19. sleeping position?

on side, one knee bent, the other straight, and arms sprayed out in front of me

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

laptop

21. obsession from childhood?

Finding Nemo

22. role model?

T.M. Daliggr

23. strange habits?

I don’t think I have any but my siblings will probably say otherwise

24. favorite crystal?

Huh?

25. first song you remember hearing?

Woooooaahhhh that’s a hard one. Hmmmmm probably the Math-U-See theme on my math curriculum

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Sit outside and read

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Sit inside with a fire and read

28. five songs to describe you?

Moon - Jonah Kagen

Umbrella - Rihanna, Jay-Z

Alone - Alan Walker

Waterfall - Serena Ryder, Melissa Etheridge

Paper Rings - Taylor Swift

29. best way to bond with you?

Just chill in the same room as me and I feel loved

30. places that you find sacred?

My deck at night, looking at the moon and stars

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Jeans, aforementioned plaid converse, brown t shirt, what i affectionately call my ‘percy jackson/stiles stilinski’ plaid shirt, and my camp american flag ball cap

32. top five favorite vines?

“Marlene your speech was so good!”

“I don’t have enough money for chicken nuggies”

“I still haven’t found my berries, but I found dis”

“Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope it does”

“Excuse me sir, has this establishment ever been robbed before?”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

I’m just gonna use autocomplete for this, starting with “the”

“The last time i had been in the last two hours and had no clue it was her right to be in a good way.” Ok

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

“Experian. BOOOOOOOOSSSTT”

35. average time you fall asleep?

12-2

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

No sure clue.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

do vintage carpet bags count as duffel?

38. lemonade or tea?

teeaaa

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

lemon cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

the ceiling fell in

41. last person you texted?

my second to oldest sister

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

pants

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie and bomber

44. favorite scent for soap?

pear

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

jeans and a t-shirt

47. favorite type of cheese?

provolone i guess

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

tomatooooo

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

and one day the girl with the books became the woman writing them

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Most recently, my little sisters dream about Experian Boost Nukes

51. current stresses?

School, and what on earth am I going to do with my life?

52. favorite font?

Typewriter (but since I’m typing this on my computer i can’t use it right now 😞)

53. what is the current state of your hands?

mid, hangnails and torn cuticles, and knuckles constantly scraped

54. what did you learn from your first job?

teamwork, and some leadership skills

55. favorite fairy tale?

beauty and the beast

56. favorite tradition?

my family doesn’t really have any

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

getting mad at my hair so much, 

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

cross stitching, speed reading, somewhat photographic memory (i can picture words and such but not images very well), being the only sibling to have had shingles

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Can we please just all get therapy?”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Something like Violet Evergarden

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“It’s not gone, just lost. And when something is lost, it can be found.” -Sam Drake, Uncharted

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dean Winchester

Cassian Andor

Kingo

Penny Robinson

Peeta Mellark

Hal Mason

Theseus Scamander

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Best Song Ever - One Direction

I Wanna Dance with Somebody - Whitney Houston

We Got the Beat - The Go-Go’s

Happy - Pharrell Williams

Hey Ya! - Outkasts

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Ummmmmmm C.R. Hedgcock’s website

65. any permanent scars?

Some old mosquito bite scars on my legs and arms, and then a chicken pox scar on my right cheek

66. favorite flower(s)?

daisies!

67. good luck charms?

not really any, just my ace ring

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Wine

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

to actually kill a tic, you have to pop it’s head off. if you just flush it, it *will* come back

70. left or right handed?

right

71. least favorite pattern?

aztec (which is funny cuz i used to be obsessed with it)

72. worst subject?

math

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

all the skittles at once

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

generally a 6-7

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i have no clue lol

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

give me *all* of them

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

i have no clue

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

gas station coffee

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

driver’s license

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

fireflies

82. pc or console?

pc

83. writing or drawing?

writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket?

polly pocket

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cookies

87. your greatest fear?

being forgotten

88. your greatest wish?

to be happy

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my little sister

90. luckiest mistake?

dunno

91. boxes or bags?

bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

lamps, and fairy lights (also moonlight)

93. nicknames?

cheesecake

avocado

dof (dear old friend)

Evil Mistress (yeah that one has a good explanation i promise)

94. favorite season?

spring

95. favorite app on your phone?

probably spotify

96. desktop background?

a screenshot from mass effect: andromeda of the hyperion

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

My moms, the house phone, and mine

98. favorite historical era?

40′s & 50′s

[catboy-joyfriend]

making my own Strawberry Shortcake adaptation in my head mainly based on the 80s and 2003-2007 versions, which characters should I include (other than the obvious ones that are in every adaptation like Strawberry herself, Orange Blossom, Huckleberry Pie, etc. I'm talking more Ginger Snap, Angel Cake, Plum Puddin', Lemon Meringue, etc.)

[aboldclaim]

42 for the kissing prompts!

Distracting kisses from someone that are meant to stop the other person from finishing their work, and give them kisses instead.

Patrick wants to marry him.

They’ll be married in September, but the look on David’s face as they’re left alone in a cool pavilion, a dozen careful slices of cake in front of them, makes Patrick want to marry him now, here, in July, with the summer rain bashing the thick glass above their heads and the soft cashmere of David’s sweater beneath his hand. 

“I’ll give you some time,” the pastry chef had said, fumbling with her umbrella as she’d nodded towards the table. Her careful handwriting sits across slips of paper propped against plates, words that cut right to the heart of David. 

“Buttercream, Patrick,” he whispers in awe, and then the barely restrained excitement bursts across his face, like the clouds that have given way to the rain, and his mouth splits into a grin. “Look at them all.”

David’s practically vibrating on the spot, fiddling with the tag beneath the collar of Patrick’s shirt, gaze flitting across the cakes with an expression that flattened Patrick the first time he’d seen it. 

It had been early on, and early morning, outside the motel waiting for David to put on his seatbelt so he could hand him a coffee, fresh and sugared from the cafe. He’d had such a crush, had been a mess of adolescent eagerness and the kind of want that sits in the bottom of your stomach, the morning of that vendor pick up, and he hadn’t been prepared for the smile directed towards him when he’d said there’s cheese at this farm. There was sleep in the crinkles at the corners of David’s eyes, and his cheeks were bright, and his was mouth crooked, exuberant. Patrick had wanted to lean over the middle console and kiss David then, while he’d tasted like caramel macchiato, skim, two sweeteners, a dash of cocoa powder. 

He wants to kiss him now too, while he tastes like David, while he tastes like the bad coffee they’d had on the road and the pancakes they’d had for breakfast. While he still smells like the shower he’d had this morning, and the rain they’d just run through. While he still feels like he felt last night, soft skin and hard muscle and rough stubble. 

He runs the back of his hand across David’s cheek now, appled with joy, and stretches forward to kiss him just as he moves forward to the table. It’s a mess, Patrick’s nose hitting David’s jaw, his mouth landing in the crook of David’s neck, his chest slamming into David’s elbow. He’s winded momentarily, and feels David’s hand on his forearm, steadying him as his feet keep trying to trip over themselves. 

“God, sorry,” David says, waiting until Patrick feels right side up before turning him towards the table. “I have a good feeling about this one.”

He’s pointing at a delicate looking slice, with a pale yellow sponge split in two by a streak of white frosting. David hands him a fork, and breaks into the cake with his own, carefully collecting icing and filling and cupping one hand under the other to bring the forkful to his mouth. 

“I was trying to kiss you,” Patrick says, as David closes his eyes, pleasure making tracks across his expression as he chews thoughtfully. His voice is shot, quiet and wobbling and he’s a little embarrassed by it, but it doesn’t seem like David heard him anyway. He clears the desperation from his tone with a small cough, and waits until David swallows before he steps closer.

“I was trying to kiss you,” he repeats, lower, seductive, hopefully, and he’s proud of himself for getting it together, and for the way David’s brows crawl up his forehead a little as his eyes flutter open. 

“Oh?”

“Yeah that was - ”  

Something playful flits across David’s face before he leans forward, presses his mouth to Patrick’s, cutting his sentence off at the clause. The kiss is firm, too quick, and he pulls away just as Patrick licks at David’s lips, just as he tastes citrus and sugar and another gentle flavour he can’t put his finger on.

“Blood orange,” David says, and Patrick peers at the small card as David moves in front of him to reach another cake, his back pressed against Patrick’s chest. It’s obscene, the way David leans over to collect a bite of raspberry meringue, moaning a little as he crunches through the hard outer shell to reach the flavour in the centre. 

A forkful appears over his shoulder for Patrick, just as he recognises he’s lost any sense of an upper hand in seducing David this afternoon. The distraction of wedding cakes laid out in front of them has met with a newfound method of messing with Patrick, and he happily teases him as he makes his way around the plates. 

Patrick loses count of the cakes they try, of the mouthfuls of sponge he’s offered in lieu of David’s mouth on his.

He thinks there was a chocolate one, with a small pattern across the icing he can see between them, when David backs Patrick against a wall, his free hand at Patrick’s hip. David’s fingers are hooked into his belt loop, and his thumb tries to mimic the cake’s pattern into the crinkling blue material of his shirt. He offers the fork to Patrick briefly, before turning it back towards himself, closing his mouth around the sponge with a smirk. Patrick manages to steal a kiss then, catching David’s laughter as it bubbles from his lips, catching a hint of something dark and rich and alcoholic that takes his breath away.

It was nice, that one, probably, but he couldn’t say which slice he liked the most. He’s barely paid attention, to be honest, but has listened enough to hear that David has invented a complex ranking system at the same time as he’s been fucking with Patrick, has been placing the cakes from left to right along the oak table in order of flavour, density, aesthetic, wedding appropriateness. 

At the top is the lemon sponge he’d started with, and he moves Patrick towards it. He’s propped a potential cake topper against it, two small grooms with smaller bowties, holding each other, and Patrick moves the pair carefully to the side of the plate as he takes a forkful. 

The flavour he’d licked from David’s lips earlier is there, magnified and surrounded by buttercream, but still with a gentle citrus that bounces around his mouth as it had done before. He wants to tell David, wants to sound like he knows what he’s talking about, but when he turns, he’s met with the same bright, fond grin, directed at him.

“Let’s do this one,” is all Patrick can manage, and somehow David’s smile grows even larger. He’s with Patrick in a stride, and takes his face between his hands, wipes a wayward speck of icing from Patrick’s chin before bringing their mouths together. 

It feels like everything Patrick had thought it would, like this morning and last night, and every other kiss they’ve shared, every quick, lazy, last minute, first thing, middle of the night kiss. It tastes like chocolate and citrus and sugar, and raspberry, coffee and poppyseed, pear and meringue. It tastes like David, and Patrick wants to marry him here, now, already, please.

send in a number from this list!

[steve-rogers-new-york]

Recipe Wednesday #40

Happy Holidays and Happy Recipe Wednesday!

These are real period recipes, taken from the Brooklyn Daily Eagle, a local newspaper that would have been accessible to Steve, his mother, and Bucky during their time in Brooklyn.

For the month of December, Recipe Wednesday is being extended to all month long with Christmas Treats!

The recipes come from the Saturday 22 December 1934 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle. For context, Steve would have been 14 (comics) / 16 (MCU), so these are recipes that Sarah Rogers may have made, or which Steve might have learnt or inherited from his mother.

Black and White Ice Box Cookies 1/2 cup butter 1/2 cup sugar 1 egg yolk 3 tablespoons milk 1 1/2 cup flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/8 teaspoon salt 1 square chocolate Cream butter and sugar; add the unbeaten yolk of egg, milk and flour sifted with salt and baking powder, and blend thoroughly. Divide mixture in half and to one portion add the chocolate which has been melted over hot water. Roll the white and chocolate doughs into thin rectangular sheets of the same size. Place one on top of the other and roll over and over until roll is about 2-inches in diameter. Chill the dough for several hours, cut in thick slices and bake in a 400 degree oven until crisp (about ten minutes).

Coconut Kisses 1 can condensed milk 12 ounces shredded coconut 1 teaspoon vanilla Into the condensed milk stir coconut; add flavoring. Drop by teaspoonfuls 2-inches apart on a baking sheet and make them in a slow oven (235 degree F.) for 12 to 15 minutes, or until brown. “It takes but a minute to mix the batter for coconut kisses...be sure to use condensed milk fort this recipe. Do not attempt to use evaporated milk as it is not sweet enough. The baking of these coconut kisses is quite important. They are baked in a slow oven because they will brown over quickly if the oven is very hot. Take them off the cookie sheet immediately after removing them from the oven and put them on a cookie rack to cool. If you do not remove them immediately you will have a difficult time getting them off.”

Checkerboard Sandwiches Yield: 16 Sandwiches 8 slices whole wheat bread 8 slices white bread 4 1/2 ounces cream cheese 3 tablespoons Orange Marmalade Use fresh, close-grained bread. Remove crusts with a sharp knife. Cut into half-inch crosswise slices of white bread. Blend cheese and marmalade till smooth. Spread thickly on slice of white bread. On this lay a slice of whole wheat, bread and again spread mixture. Repeat to produce a cube 4 slices thick, about 2 1/2-inches each way. Place in refrigerator for filling to harden. Remove and cut sandwich cubes in half-inch slices to obtain striped slices. Spread these with cheese-marmalade mixture and lay together to brown layers rest on white and vice versa, by reversing slices as they are cut from cube. Place four slices squarely together to form another perfect cube. Wrap in wax paper and chill. When ready to serve, cut again in half-inch slices to obtain checkerboard design.

Chocolate Dollars 1/2 cup butter 1 cup sugar 1 egg 2 tablespoons milk 1 teaspoon vanilla 2 1/4 cups bread flour, or 2 1/2 cups pastry flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon 1/2 cup of chopped walnuts 2 squares chocolate Cream butter and sugar. Add egg, slightly beaten. Add milk, vanilla, sifted dry ingredients and walnuts. Add the chocolate melted and form into roll two inches in diameter. Wrap in wax paper. Chill. Cut in 1/8-inch slices. Bake in moderate oven 375 degree F., 8 to 10 minutes.

Scotch Shortbread 1 pound butter 1/4 teaspoon salt Citron peel Few almonds 6 cups flour 1 cup sugar Sift the flour and salt. Rub in the butter, working it in very well, then add the sugar. Turn it out on to a floured board and knead it into a smooth round. Roll out the paste into one large or two smaller rounds about 1/2-inch thick. Shape them round with the hands and pinch round the edges with the fingers or mark them with a knife. Put the shortbread on a greased baking tin and prick it all over with a fork. Garnish with candied cherries and nuts and bake in a moderate oven (375 degrees) for 25 or 30 minutes.

No-Bake Lemon Pie Filling 1 1/3 cups sweetened condensed milk (one 14-15 ounce can) 1/2 cup lemon juice Grated rind of 1 lemon 2 eggs, yolk 2 tablespoons of granulated sugar Baked pie shell Meringue

Baked Alaska 1 quart strawberry [ice] cream (brick) 1 layer sponge cake Meringue Place on board covered with white paper. Sponge cake cut to the shape of the brick of ice cream. Spread with meringue. bake in hot oven 450 to 500 degrees F. 10 minutes or less. Meringue 3 eggs [whites?] 6 tablespoons confectioner’s sugar 1 teaspoon rum extract

Christmas Cake 2 cups butter 1 cup sugar 4 cups flour 2 eggs 1 teaspoon almond extract Wash butter until waxy; cream and add sugar gradually. Add eggs, well beaten and flour. Force through cookie press onto baking sheet. Decorate with candied cherries and angelica. Bake 12 minutes in a moderate oven (375 degree F.)

Cranberry Relish Grind up a pound of cranberries and one orange, rind and all. Add a cup of sugar and 1/2 teaspoon of salt.

I’d love to hear if you try out any of these recipes! Take photos and I might post them on the blog.

Visit the Recipe Wednesday Masterpost for the all the Recipe Wednesday posts, and the Indexed Recipe Wednesday Masterpost for all the recipes broken down individually!

[ Support SRNY through Patreon and Ko-Fi ] And join us on Discord for fun conversation! I also have an Etsy with up-cycled nerdy crafts

This post is the result of meeting a Patreon Goal. Thank you to all my wonderful Patreon subscribers for enabling the return of the Recipe Wednesday posts!

[soymimikyu]

Food in Netflix’s Series of Unfortunate Events: Season 1

I like food in television and for a long time have been finding inspiration in dishes I see in anime. Don’t think food anime, like Food Wars. Think of Sophie cooking bacon on Calcifer in Howl’s Moving Castle, Mugi’s tea time treats in K-On!, the pastries made by Kaori’s family in Your Lie in April, or the meal shared by Taki and Miki in Your name. Essentially, I like it when food is not the focus, but accentuates a scene or deepens a character or a relationship. While this is not anime, I had a lot of fun with it!

Having read the books more than a decade ago, I was surprised (possibly because I have forgotten) at how much food is in this series. From episode 1, I took semi-detailed notes on what dishes appeared in each part and made an attempt to also note down the scene in which it appeared. The following list does omit somethings because I felt they were not important (what the market sellers sold in the Wide Window – fish heads, limes, and something I can’t recall and didn’t write down). I may circle back at some point and double check the list, but I will definitely check it against the books when I reread them. If anyone thinks I forgot something critical – please let me know.

Enjoy!

Some side remarks:

If I made the recipe, I will mark it with an X.

If I have thoughts on recipes, I will include them. This might be rambling nonsense to some (most) of you.

Food in A Bad Beginning

Mint Jelly and Braised Leg of Lamb

Brought by Justice Strauss

Pasta Puttanesca [X]

Adding more anchovies did not really add more anchovy flavor. They are heavily masked with the kalamata olives and capers. Perhaps a milder olive?

Served to Count Olaf

Comes up serveral times in later episodes.

Raspberry Cupcakes

A raspberry swiss meringue butter cream would go really well here. To get extra fruit flavor in your icing you can add finely ground (and sifted) freeze dried fruit. Infused butter is another route.

Working raspberries into a sponge might be tricky as they are rather wet. Control moisture carefully.

Offered to the children by Count Olaf

Wedding Cake Slices with Vanilla, Nutmeg, or Lemon(y) buttercream

I believe Olaf picked the Vanilla flavored cake.

Spiced butter cream sounds delicious. Perhaps a spiced butter or a spiced tea butter?

Hook handed man asks Olaf for his opinion.

Food in The Reptile Room

Coconut Cream Cake

Never thought about a coconut cream cake. Not sure what the frosting would be. Sponge looks like yellow cake with coconut flakes.

Offered by Doctor Montgomery to the children.

Chinese Take out with pot stickers

Meal shared between the children, Doctor Montgomery, and Stefano.

Popcorn

Eaten by Stefano at the theater. Unclear if it was buttered or not.

Canned Peaches

Consumed by Hook Handed Man posing as a detective after murder.

Food in The Wide Window

Peppermint

Offered by Mr. Poe to the children

Vegetarian Chili [X]

Cab driver’s meal. I also believe the children made this when Josephine was out buying limes.

Chilled Cucumber soup

This actually looks really tasty despite the context and dreariness of the scene. Meal shared between Josephine and the children.

Lemon Meringue Pie

Meringues are tricky beasts. Italian meringues are stable, but be sure to get your sugar syrup to the soft ball point (~230 F). Also don’t dry your meringue too much.

Mentioned by Lemony and possibly carried by Larry.

Cold Lime Stew

I believe this was Josephine’s proposed hurricane meal.

Fried Egg Sandwich with toasted rye and a runny yolk

[X]

Date meal between Josephine and Captain Sham.

Extra Special Family Fun Appetizer

We never actually see this, but I propose bacon, french toast, crispier pancakes (fried in the bacon fat), and beneigts topped with maple syrup.

Described as a “bunch of fried things served with a sauce” by Larry (the clown).

Cheer Up Cheese Burgers

The pickles, mustard, and ketchup make a smiley on the burger. Offered by Larry (the clown).

Wasabi Mayo

I believe this is what Mr. Poe received as part of his brunch meal.

Fuzzy Navel

Captain Sham’s drink at brunch.

Banana

Josephine’s last meal.

Shredded Beef Tamales

Lard plays a role in making the dough.

Meal given to Ike by Count Olaf resulting in Ike’s death.

Chewing Gum

On the box in the truck carrying the children to Lucky Smells.

Food in The Miserable Mill

Clam Chowder

Consumed by Mr. Poe and distracts him for some time

Dense Beef Casserole

I don’t know what would make beef casserole dense. Too much flour? Incorrect cut of meat?

Served to workers at Lucky Smells.

Blue Berry pancakes and fresh orange juice [X]

How a good day can start according to Lemony

Must be served in bed by a butler, otherwise the day may not be quite as good.

Chewing Gum

Lunch at Lucky Smells

Goat Cheese and Beef Jerkey Omelette

This seems wrong. Jerky is rather tough and toughness is generally unbecoming of an omelette (we want soft to the palette but structured to the bite). Perhaps the Jerky was a side? Perhaps it was finely chopped? Perhaps Charles makes his own beef jerky less tough because he knows Sir likes it in omelettes?

Served to Sir by Charles

A fresh peach

Offered to the children by Charles

Cannoli

A mold can be fashioned out of copper piping. Cheaper and just as effective. Cut to appropriate length.

Don’t use foil

Poe’s punishment if he does not find the children

Cookies [X]

Looks like (store bought) short bread cookies.

Receptionist Shirley offers the children and Sir.

[sunnytumbies]

I'm somewhat confident that Amy's stress baking enables one or more of the other characters to then Stress Eat the baking, which could lead to Tummy Fic (tell me if I'm right and also you don't have anon asks turned on. c; might get more asks if you hit that switch!)

Whoops! Anons, you are now free to enter–sorry bout that! 

So, funny story: Tiny, you are right–you are so right, in fact, that I decided to write a lil fill for this! I had like 500 words written and then accidentally closed the tab :’), and for whatever reason my response was even more determined writing to finish it. Long story short, it’s now a /4391 word monster/ that I’m not even all that proud of, but I’m posting it anyway! It’s gonna be confusing & maybe a headache for me later because this is happening later in the story than the first “major story event” fic I’ll be posting but...here we are.

Content warning: this fic involves dysphoria, mentions of menstruation, self-loathing, and binge eating as a response to stress. Please be mindful should you choose to read!

___________________________________________________________

Amy hums lightly to herself, dusting the last of the madeleines with powdered sugar, breathing in the comforting aromas, honey and lemon mingling with cinnamon and apple, almond and vanilla, chocolate and bread. She can’t pretend that this was a good decision, can’t act like she would not have possibly benefit more from a day of studying than a day of baking, but the knots in her chest have finally started to loosen, and it’s hard to take that as anything but a win. She plates the madeleines and slides them into the last remaining patch of free space on the L-shaped countertop, clutching the notebook that belonged to her mother close to her chest. 

It’s not that Amy only ever bakes French desserts. She adores the challenge of baklava with its stubborn phyllo dough, loves the thrill and the spectacle of a good Baked Alaska; it’s just that sometimes, she needs to hear her mother’s voice in the only way she knows how–baking the way Maman taught her, dutifully reading the advice scrawled in the margins of her recipe notebook in eccentric cursive, cleaning as she cooks (”Mieux vaut prévenir que guérir, Amelie,” she’ll find herself muttering at times in a poor imitation of her mother. It translates to “It is better to prevent than to heal,” which she thinks is sort of intense as far as wisdom about cleanliness goes, but then, she’s never forgotten it). Professors will likely always butcher her last name, flattening the syllables into something harsh and ugly; classmates will continue to express their envy at the ease with which they assume she sails through her foreign language requirement, oblivious to the unique heartache of struggling to write in a language that flows from her lips with more ease than English sometimes; but no one can take this from her, her mother’s recipes in her mother’s own words, the familiar tastes and smells of home. 

It started with the croissants, shaping the dough she’d prepped earlier this week in preparation to make pains au chocolat--she can’t stop her lips from quirking up in a small, proud smile, now, looking at how perfectly they rose, how flaky the croissants are, how tantalizingly the smell of chocolate and freshly-baked bread is wafting off of them, how they glisten with brushed-on butter. But when her eyes glanced over the mostly-full bottle of fruity olive oil in the pantry, how could she resist whipping up a lemon curd tart, with its buttery almond crust and rich lemon custard filling? And it would have simply been silly to waste the lemon zest she had leftover from the tart--not when she could make the madeleines, tiny delicious cakes sweetened with honey and brown sugar, the tang of the lemon zest cutting through the sweetness in the most delicious way, complimented by the dusting of powdered sugar. Then, she thought, that was an awful lot of citrus--she simply had to offset it with a quick apple mille-feuille, the autumnal scent of roasted apples, maple syrup, and apple brandy making her wistful for October. But wait--no mille-feuille was complete without the bourbon whipped cream on top, and shouldn’t poor lactose intolerant Cal have plenty of options too? Besides, a simple spiced bread wouldn’t take too long, and the mixture of star anise, ginger, and cinnamon, sweetened with honey and rife with dried apricots and plums, would be sure to make a delicious sweet toast for breakfast.

Even still, it wasn’t truly over until she noticed that several cartons of eggs--which she, for obvious reasons, tended to buy in bulk--were set to expire soon, and it would certainly be foolish to waste so much money--really, she hardly had a choice! She made chocolate macarons with orange ganache, a cherry buttermilk clafoutis; she made kouign-amann, with its buttery dough and sugary crust, and, in a desperate bid to eat through the eggs, another batch of macarons, this time with raspberry-rose buttercream. Struck with a flash of inspiration, she used the egg yolks she’d set aside while whipping the whites into stiff peaks fit for a meringue to make toasted-flour sablé, a sort of moist little sugar cookie, and while she was at it threw in a batch of snickerdoodles--cookies were easy to both make and get rid of in bulk, and besides, they were Cal’s favorite. Lastly, she decided to tackle a chocolate pound cake--quatre-quarts au chocolat de juliette, her mother’s handwriting rebuked her, along with an all-caps reminder to bake it in a bain-marie, PAS au four!!!!!. It made Amy laugh a little, but she couldn’t deny that the water-bath made for a much richer, much more moist final product than the oven. 

She feels a brief rush of shame, looking over it all--it’s truly an improbable amount of baking she’s done, here--but her heart is full, her back aching in a satisfying, productive way. If nothing else, she’s made the house smell like home and has ensured that anyone who enters can leave full and satisfied. Finally, she removes her apron and checks her watch--perfect. She has about half an hour to get to work for her 8pm-midnight shift, a fairly non-intensive desk position at one of the campus libraries, and she’ll more likely than not have enough free time to look over her chemistry notes. As for the baked goods, she opts to leave them out, but takes a few moments to write out sticky notes (“dairy free! Come right in, Cal!”; “full of dairy! Cals beware!”), and smiles gently as she thinks of Cal coming home to a warm kitchen and plenty to eat. “That boy is too damn skinny,” she mumbles to herself fondly, and flicks off the kitchen light, leaving the one above the oven on to bathe the kitchen in a warm, welcoming glow. 

Cal is not having a good day. 

He shivers as another gust of wind blows what feels like through him, making his teeth chatter as he attempts to sink even lower into his hoodie. The slumping motion does not agree with his cramping lower belly, and he groans, straightening back up with an arm looped around his stomach. 

Any day at this time of month for him is a difficult one. He knows for a fact that he “passes,” but he still feels uncomfortably seen, feels like he has to hide himself from view as much as possible. It certainly doesn’t help that his skin hurts, that his belly bloats and his bound chest becomes sore, that despite the fact that he no longer bleeds, he gets all the associated symptoms, yeah, thanks for that, genetics. Even so, Cal isn’t new to this, exactly, and he can deal with the cramping, can even handle the accompanying dysphoria like a champ, but today has been extraordinarily awful. He couldn’t sleep last night, feeling in turns too hot and too cold, and barely made it to his bio class this morning; all the coffee machines were down in the dining hall, meaning his eyes were burning with exhaustion by the time he was halfway through bio, let alone his other two classes of the day; perhaps most damning at all, the paper he’s been counting on being due next week is actually due this week, causing him to spend an extra few hours in the library after class, barely awake, forcing himself to get something, anything onto the page; and, the cherry on top of it all, he missed the last bus home, hence tramping home now in the dark and the rain. More than one car has splashed him as it’s passed, and his jeans are practically soaked through. 

He’s cold, he’s exhausted, he barely even made a dent in the paper, and his fucking stomach hurts, the cramps now joined by an anxious knot; as much as he wants to take comfort from the fact that he can see the apartment complex getting steadily closer, he also knows that he’s going to be home alone, and something about that just does not sit well with him at the moment that Cal doesn’t want to analyze, thank you very much. 

He shivers his way up the stairs leading to the apartment, down the exceedingly long corridor, through the front door, and is almost immediately assailed by both a rush of welcome warmth and a rush of smells so delicious and overpowering that he knows immediately that today was a stress-baking day for Amy. Something drains out of Cal then, equal parts tension and restraint, the anxious buzzing of his thoughts thrown off by the sheer number of baked goods spread across the counter top. He lets his backpack fall to the floor with a thud. His stomach rumbles--he ate today, but not well--and he sort of knows he’s doomed when he catches the scent of chocolate, as well as when his eyes land on a plate of snickerdoodles (which very much does not make a lump rise in his throat, okay, it’s whatever, it doesn’t  matter, Amy made his favorite cookie for him in the middle of her own stress-fueled baking marathon, it’s whatever). Amy will be home soon. Quincy, too, at some point. He’ll be fine. He just needs to do what he can until then, and there’s no shortage of snacks to keep him busy while he waits. 

Shocking no one less than him, Cal has many, many regrets, and at least half of them are baked goods he has put into his body over the last hour. He whimpers a little, oh-so-gently palming his belly, which has distressingly little give even when he ventures to apply a little more pressure with his fingertips. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt this bloated, heavy with food and swollen with almond milk, and he’d be lying if he said he’s not fighting tears, beyond ashamed to be in this state: slumped sitting on the floor, back supported by the side of the counter, shirt riding up to expose the pink flesh of his belly. He has to swallow thickly a few times, imagining the sugary sludge that’s surely squelching through his insides right now, trying to force back a dangerous burp that squeezes out anyway and leaves the taste of honey and cinnamon in the back of his mouth. He tried to be good, and that’s maybe what sucks the most. He started with a few snickerdoodles, ostensibly the only dessert on the counter that had been made for him, unable to hold back a little groan of pleasure at the taste, buttery and comforting and complemented perfectly by the crunch of cinnamon and sugar. He had four before pouring himself a tall glass of almond milk, chasing a few more cookies with it before deciding to investigate the irresistible scent of chocolate wafting from the plate of croissants. The chocolate might be a bit much for his lactose intolerance, he decided, and opted for two thick slices of the spiced bread instead, toasted and slathered with ghee. He swore they tasted like fall, like tramping through leaves and Halloween costumes when he was young. Something about filling his stomach after being so hungry and uncomfortable all day, recklessly, indulgently, eased the tightness of his chest, until he could scarcely even feel the chill from his still-damp jeans. 

He had already begun to feel rather full, but his interest was still piqued by the croissants, and he hadn’t even tried the little sugary-looking roll things, or the macaroons, or the cake--Cal squeezes his eyes shut, now, swallowing hard, struggling to even think about how much he’s eaten, but unable to completely erase the contrast from his mind between the overflowing countertop when he first arrived and the countertop now, an alarmingly high number of the cluttered plates more empty than not. All that really matters, he guesses, is that at some point filling his tummy began to hurt more than help, and he kept doing it anyway, and now his cramps have merely been replaced with sickly twinges and upset burbles. 

He tries to take a deep breath, which hitches as an ominous gurgle bubbles from the top to the bottom of his packed belly, and the tears he’s been clamping down on start to roll down his cheeks. He can’t do this, not alone, at least, and Amy’s shift still has 3 hours to go--they must have just barely missed each other. Part of him knows that he will probably feel worlds better if he simply allows himself to throw up, but he can’t handle that, not right now. He cradles his aching stomach for a moment, one trembling hand cupped under his lower belly, bloated and hot, and one resting on the hard little bloat of his tummy, even that feather-light touch ushering up a series of strained burps. After another moment of feeling his stomach contents swirl and slosh uncomfortably inside him, the nausea and misery outweigh his pride, and he hesitantly lets go of his aching stomach, swiping at his tears and pulling out his phone. 

I...fucked up, he texts her, and sends it before he can think twice about it. She replies almost instantly, one of his favorite things about Amy: ?????????????And a moment later, while he’s still figuring out where to begin: everything okay, honey?

The fragile control Cal has over his emotions abruptly slips at that, and he lets out a choked sob, swallowing hard when the motion upsets his tummy further. It hurts so fucking much, but Amy, Amy who bakes his favorites even in the middle of her own mini-crisis, Amy who takes the time to write adorable little sticky notes oriented around Cal’s dietary restrictions, Amy who calls everyone in the world honey because she cares about everyone in the goddamn world, Amy the literal human ball of sunshine--just, fucking Amy, okay? 

Yeah. I mean. I’m safe, but I’m not okay. I… Cal doubles over as a cramp twists deep in his belly, panting a little. Maybe it would be easier to just let himself be sick. You baked...a lot. I had a bad day. 

:((((( did u see my notes???? what’s going on??????

Cal has to blink hard against the tears at that, a new layer of guilt joining the anxiety and the shame of all he’s eaten. Stress-baking or not, this all had to have taken Amy a few hours, and he’d eaten right through a fair amount of almost everything. 

I’m sorry. I did see your notes. It’s not lactose, I just ate a /lot/ and I feel sick and I don’t know what to do 

A moment later, his phone buzzes with a call. It’s Amy, of course. 

“H-hey,” he manages, sniffing, and then hiccups just before a deep burp gurgles up from his churning belly, clamping a hand over his mouth for a moment as his gorge rises with it. 

“Cal, honey,” Amy says, sounding so fucking sad for him. It’s not like she’s never seen the fallout of his stress-binging before. “How much did you eat?” 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Cal says hoarsely, his throat burning from stubbornly swallowing back stomach acid. “I’m just nauseous and sick and--and—” He falters, feeling like a child. “And I just really had a bad day, like a really bad day, Amy, and I know your day wasn’t so good either or you wouldn’t be stress-baking but I just, I’m so fucking tired, and my paper is due and—” He gags, suddenly, and has to take a moment to collect himself, hyper-aware of Amy’s concerned silence on the other end of the line-- “and I can’t do this alone,” he finally manages, voice cracking, and it is only the knowledge that openly weeping would send him over the edge right now that keeps him from dissolving into exhausted tears. 

“I’m so sorry, Cal. I wish I could be there,” Amy murmurs soothingly, and it’s almost, almost like she’s there. “If I could leave work I’d do it in a heartbeat, but I’m going to call Quincy for you, okay?” 

Cal’s heart squeezes at that, half-anxiety, half-hope, and maybe something else, too, a deep sense of being known--Amy knows that Cal knows that she can’t leave work. Amy knows that there’s only one other person that he’d want. Amy knows that he can’t--because of anxiety, because of what he sees as a low stakes problem relative to Quincy’s very high-stakes life, because, because, because--reach out to him himself when he’s like this. “Okay,” he whispers, and hope she hears the gratitude in it. 

“Of course,” she says, so warmly that it makes Cal’s heart ache a little. “Hang in there, okay? Try to stay calm for me. I’ll let you know when he’s coming.” 

“Love you,” he mumbles, and lets his phone clatter to the floor as soon as he hears the beep that means she’s hung up, clutching at his belly, feeling his stomach lurch and rumble. He’s so fucking full. He’s such a fucking idiot. 

Some time later, Quincy comes for him. 

Cal startles when the door creaks open, then whimpers a little at the resulting complaints of his stomach. There’s just so much pressure, his stomach tight and hot as though nothing is moving at all, though with all that he feels burbling against his palm, that can’t possibly be true. Quincy looks a little frantic in the doorway before his eyes come to rest on Cal, still curled up pitifully on the floor, both hands pressed gently against his bloated stomach. 

“Oh—” Quincy breathes, shutting the door behind him, crossing the space between them in an instant and crouching in front of Cal. “God, Cal, Amy scared me half to death. Are you alright?” 

“I’m—” Cal has to stop and breathe, composing himself as a wave of nausea crashes over him, his stomach squelching unpleasantly. All at once, he realizes that he’s no longer alone, that perhaps even if he should keep suppressing everything, he no longer wants to, and he no longer cares if he’s sick, he just wants to feel better, wants to be in his bed, wants to be warm and comfortable and safe--all at once, he’s doubling over his own lap, sobbing his heart out, barely even registering the flicker of amusement he’d ordinarily feel at Quincy’s eyes going comically round behind his glasses. His stomach aches, pain ringing throughout his abdomen at the movement, and before he can process much more than that a warm palm folds itself over his distended stomach, firmly enough to quiet the cramping there, but lightly enough to keep from exacerbating the nausea.

  “Cal,” Quincy says, in that low, soothing voice of his, “I am so sorry that you’re hurting, and I’m going to make that go away, but to get you feeling better, I have to get you off the floor. I can’t imagine that you are ready to move just now?”

  “No,” Cal breathes, his usual shyness dominated by hours of physical discomfort. “Please, just—” Tears dribble down his cheeks, his lack of sleep and general exhaustion beginning to catch up with him. 

Quincy seems to hear him anyway. “Okay, hey, heyheyhey, okay, that is perfectly fine. I’m here, alright? I’m here to help you feel better.” 

Ever so gently, Quincy eases himself behind Cal, so that his back is supported by Quincy’s chest rather than the hard base of the kitchen counter. Equally gently, his arms wind around Cal’s waist, both hands coming to rest on his abused stomach. He applies pressure to the bloated space between Cal’s navel and his ribs, rubbing in broad, gentle strokes, almost immediately ushering up a deep belch that has Cal going slack with the smallest but most welcome measure of relief. Quincy is so damn warm, and his rough palm is heaven where it rests on his lower belly, supporting the bloat from below to take the strain off of his overfull stomach. His other hand moves from that space in the middle of his abdomen to his stomach, the noticeable overfull bulge where the organ ought to be, rubbing in gentle circles. The pressure is almost too much and Cal shifts to tell him so, succeeding only in ushering up several more rumbling belches, one right after the other, left gasping with the relief of it. He is still painfully aware of how full he is, packed utterly to the brim with food, but the release of trapped air is so needed and so lovely. 

Quincy holds him like this for a while, coaxing up the occasional belch, paying extra attention to the twinges that make Cal groan with nausea. Cal finds his eyes watering again, this time with sheer gratitude for his dearest friends, for their kindness, for the quiet lack of judgement Quincy exhibits as he rubs his aching tummy. Eventually, Cal feels like he might be able to move without throwing up, and Quincy supports his weight with an arm around his waist as they make their way to Cal’s bedroom. 

“I’ll be right back,” Quincy says after depositing Cal on the bed gently. “Amy said you’d want a hoodie and some shorts. How did she do?”  

Cal smiles a little sadly, having trouble finding his voice, and Quincy barely misses a beat, busying himself retrieving one of Cal’s biggest hoodies and a soft pair of pajama shorts. “Either way, let’s give it a try. You should probably take your binder off--all that squeezing can’t be helping, and no wonder you’re shivering in those wet jeans!” He ducks into Cal’s bathroom for a moment, filling up the cup next to the sink with cold water from the tap, and offers it to Cal, making sure his shaking hands don’t cause a spill before he lets go. “Try to take some sips of that, okay? Trust me. We need to break up all that sugar.” 

Cal can’t argue with that, nodding, and waits until Quincy lets the door swing mostly-shut behind him, taking the deepest breath he can manage. His stomach twinges as he bends over to put the water on his nightstand and lifts his arms to pull off his shirt. wriggling out of his binder, and he pants for a moment as the sudden release of pressure on his stomach causes the nausea to flare before it thankfully passes again. He puts on the hoodie, immediately comforted by the billowing fabric, and wriggles out of his jeans and into the pajama shorts as quickly as he can manage, forcing himself to take a measured sip of water. His stomach tightens around it, and he swallows hard. 

“Hey,” Quincy says softly, knocking twice on the slightly-ajar door before pushing it completely open with his elbow. His hands are occupied with a tv tray, carrying a heating pad and a steaming mug of tea.  “Don’t force it. You’re still very full.” 

“Y-yeah,” Cal manages, finding his voice. “Tummy really hurts.” 

“I know,” Quincy murmurs apologetically, offering Cal the heating pad. Cal practically melts when the heat makes contact with his sore belly, instantly beginning to soothe his cramping muscles, even working its magic on the fullness, just a little. “I’m sorry you’re hurting, Cal. I know you’re very full, but when you can, you should try to drink some water and this tea. It’s peppermint, so it should help with the nausea.” 

Flicking off the overheard light in lieu of Cal’s carefully-hung string lights, Quincy leaves the mug of tea on the bedside table closest to Cal, spreading the quilt at the foot of the bed over him, and Cal instinctively lets his head drop onto Quincy’s shoulder when he climbs onto the bed beside him. 

Cal nearly weeps again when Quincy reaches  for his bloated tummy without being asked, resuming a soothing pattern, rubbing wide, sweeping circles over his abdomen, applying pressure to the bloated place beneath his ribs, to his tense sides, to the hard knot of his stomach. Each instance of carefully-applied pressure coaxes up a series of rumbling belches that Cal didn’t realize he was holding in, eventually freeing up enough room for him to sip at the tea. 

“Amy will be home soon,” Quincy says after several moments. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like an idiot who stuffed my face with sweets all afternoon,” Cal mumbles, still wrestling with guilt, and Quincy frowns as his belly emits an audible squelch, smoothing a hand over it in slow arcs. Cal drinks a bit more deeply at the tea, unable to withhold a sigh of relief as it begins to fill the burbly places in his tummy, blissfully soothing the ache. 

“You aren’t an idiot, Cal,” Quincy says sincerely. “Amy says this sometimes happens when you get overwhelmed. You’re overwhelmed.” 

Something about the sincerity in his voice makes something big and terrifying shift in Cal’s chest, and he abruptly puts down the mug of tea in favor of hiding his face in Quincy’s chest, narrow frame wracked with tired sobs. He dimly registers that at least his stomach doesn’t react poorly to the movement. “I am,” he manages eventually, as Quincy gently shushes him, stroking his belly as though to keep it calm. “I am so exhausted, Quince.” 

“So rest,” Quincy says simply, “at least for now. And when Amy gets here, we’ll talk about what we’re going to do next. Okay?” 

Cal sniffs, nodding, still hiding his face, and Quincy lets him, simply bringing his arms around him, smoothing his hands over Cal’s back. Against all odds, particularly the still-overpowering sense of fullness, Cal feels his eyelids drooping. All of a sudden, everything has caught up with him, and he can barely form a coherent thought. It has been a day, his belly is now more warm than upset, and Quincy is a very, very comfortable pillow. 

“I’m gonna take that as a yes,” Quincy says, and Cal feels the rumble of his chest as he gives a low chuckle, too far gone at this point to respond. He’s going to have a lot to explain when he wakes up, but for now…

For now, Cal lays with his head on Quincy’s shoulder, arms looped around his neck, and Quincy pulls the quilt up around them. “I’ve got you,” Quincy murmurs, and the next thing Cal knows is blessed sleep.