#which is just...ugh. it's giving ugh
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i've said it before but it will forever and always make me insane that jacob's ending is to join the cullens for the sake of bella not having to give anything up. they find out jake will be immortal & tied to renesmee forever, so bella gets to smile & say "my family is finally complete! ^-^" but jake already HAS a family. he has a father and 2 sisters. quil, embry, seth and sam are like his brothers. jacob and leah were planning to run away together. he's always been welcome in emily's home, sue has been a family friend since before his birth. bella abandons her mortality by choice because she feels no connection to the people around her, but jacob has really strong bonds. it's clear that every character we meet in la push is like family to him, he's an active member of the community. jake would've graduated high school and been a mechanic, would've grown into a young man. a good friend, a fun uncle, a present son. he's set up to have such a rich life. and he's just magically compelled to give that up. beyond his control, he loses sight of everything, because his high school crush's baby is now the singular most important thing to him. he's perpetually 18 with his perpetually 18 year old girlfriend, running around vancouver or alaska or wherever with the girl who friendzoned him at 16 & her in-laws (who were antagonistic to him for months). and i'm just supposed to say omg yay now he doesn't have to let go of bella! everyone is happy! it's complete madness
#like even putting aside the utter insanity of him imprinting on a newborn (WHICH IS HARD TO PUT ASIDE) it is still CRAZY#like bella was never gonna do anything but be a vampire. from the moment she meets them the only ending for her is to join the cullens.#throughout the series the only thing we see tying bella to humanity is jacob. that's the conflict for her. thats what she must forfeit.#ofc there's charlie but SHE makes the decision that giving that relationship up is worth it to her#bella was never going to do anything else but jake WAS. jake HAD a whole life ahead of him that was taken from him#HE HAS NO CHOICE. HE'S JUST COMPELLED TO DO IT#ugh. jacob can be the Worst sometimes but ultimately he's a victim of the narrative fr#being kinda shitty & unable to get over a girl at 16 shouldn't condemn u to giving up literally every other relationship in ur life#also the phrasing of 'the girl who friendzoned him' in this post makes it sound like i think bella is wrong for that & to be clear i don't#i just mean to emphasize like. how young they are & how trivial their relationship drama would seem to them years down the line#jacob black#twilight#the twilight saga#twilight blog#bella swan#jacob twilight#quil ateara#seth clearwater#leah clearwater#embry call#sam uley#stephanie meyer#smeyer#new moon#eclipse#breaking dawn#twilight critical#mine#jake
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Does anyone wanna look at pictures of calculators with me
#or better yet does anyone have a calculator they wanna give me#i enjoy having them In my possession#they are my trinkets#autism special interest reveal:#calculators#everyone say the weird niche thing you collect below#Texas Instruments just announced new colors for the TI-84 Plus CE#which is kinda cool bc there haven’t been new colors since 2022 i think#but that’s still recent so idc lol#and they make all their calculators with PYTHON now ugh#which sounds neat but it drains the battery in like 2 minutes#and also whenever you wanna create a new program instead of taking you to the TI-Basic screen#you have the option to use Python but then you click that and it takes 3 years to load#i just wish they had an option to still get calculators WITHOUT Python#whatever i’m going to ebay
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sorry let me rant about downton abbey 10 years later
Thomas's conversion therapy plot pisses me off so much. firstly, it's incredibly out of character. he never wanted to change to conform to society, he wanted the world to change to accomodate him. the man who said "it's not against the law to hope is it" and "I'm not foul, Mr Carson, I'm not like you, but I'm not foul" would NEVER
secondly, from a storytelling perspective, the only 'problem' is that he used infected needles. did we forget that Thomas was a sergeant in the RAMC? he knows how to sterilise needles and how to recognise and treat infection. this also shifts the blame to Thomas himself for getting sick and implies that the conversion therapy itself is harmless (Dr Clarkson says it's just saline solution)
thirdly, it's not historically accurate. I'm not an expert but conversion therapy was not at all common in the 1920s, even Sigmund Freud was against it. hormone therapy and chemical castration were barely developing let alone available to the public (I can't imagine what else the 'treatment' was supposed to be). the only practices that I can find evidence of were psychoanalysis and electric shock therapy
Thomas also mentions that he did electric shock treatment - if you really want to make a point about homophobia in the 1920s (and make Thomas suffer as much as possible), show that instead. watching him be literally tortured for his sexuality would have been far more impactful than him just... looking sweaty for a few episodes
#I'm just shouting into the void#i just think that if you're going to make the only gay character constantly suffer it should at least be a compelling narrative#i have very similar thoughts about his plotline with jimmy. its stupid and out of character. Julian fellowes just wanted to punish him#for being gay without even giving him a chance at a happy relationship#i think sexually assaulting Jimmy is one of the only genuinely bad things that Thomas does and yet its the only one framed sympathetically#it's conflated with being gay generally and we're meant to pity him#you know what would have been a sympathetic narrative? if they were actually in a relationship and punished for an innocent love#and then thomas could still take the fall for it and go to prison and Jimmy would have to live with that guilt and be separated from him#which also would have been way more interesting than the bullshit anna and bates prison plot that dragged on way too long#ugh downton abbey could have been so good if the writer wasn't an old bigoted tory#downton abbey#thomas barrow
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[ID: a digital drawing of kristen and tracker from fantasy high cradling the moon. kristen's hand is on the dark side and tracker's on the light side. on kristen's side of the drawing are stars and she's holding a cowboy hat out of which are falling nacho chips and sauce, as well as wearing a 'kristen for president' sash. on tracker's side are snowflakes and coins, and she's holding a candy cane. additionally, there is a halo behind kristen's head. the second image is the reverse of the first. End ID]
#fantasy high#d20 fantasy high#kristen applebees#tracker o'shaughnessey#trackerbees#fantasy high fanart#fhjy#this is an ancient drawing that i've been futzing with on and off forever#so i decided to just go ahead and finish it bcs i DO like its bones and i wanna share it#smts u just can't be fully satisfied w a piece and it is what it is#in the original drawing they were fully naked but i ended up giving them clothes#even tho its a bit antithetical to both their characters but. i dont want to get yelled on the Internet ssjkdsk#anyway yes fhjy did finally make me ship them#all i needed was for them to break up and get into a v complicated and nasty situation#i dont ask for much. give me two medics going for a fist fight bcs they can't navigate their tender and sexually charged situation#just UGH. theres three kinds of relationships in fh that ive loosely categorized#no one is the gorgug/zelda situation which is kind of casual and 'ure there so lets make out' and it doesn't last beyond the first hurdle#no two is the ayda/fig where they'll a 100000% get married and stay together for the next 70 years#and no three is the kristen/tracker#they're going to have a quasitoxic on and off relationship for the next ten years and they'll either find the versions of themselves that#can coexist and be together if the stars align or they'll have such a horrid fallout that they'll never speak again by the end of it#amongst the children that is. the parents are way more complicated but also simpler
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Heya! Saw you've been working your way through the Murderbot Diaries and since you just finished Network Effect I thought you might like to see a fun little animatic to celebrate! Happy reading! youtube.com / watch?v=yDMSHgQY5rM
OUGH!!!
this freaking animatic! it was so good!! i actually went through and took screencaps of my favorite frames because oh my god were there some banging moments. "art sent me" with three as the hero!! everything with dr mensah and murderbot, from the soft pov switch in a conversation to dr mensah grabbing its collar and shaking it around! (go off mensah i absolutely loved that scene, btw). and of course the whole squad with art ;-; this was an absolutely stunning animatic and now i've got the song stuck in my head so cheers for that!!
#the murderbot diaries#moby dick#tmbd#mb#murderbot diaries#dr mensah my fucking beloved#excellent characters#she just clenches fist Gets It#it being murderbot#(side note it/its pronouns make the 'get 'em' phrase very awkward#because 'get it' means something completely different. clears throat. anyway)#also the frame with the comfortunit and mb was chilling#OUGH it was so good#also cool depiction of art excellent work#'i'm not their hero but that doesn't mean i wasn't brave' is a stellar line for mb#because it really does not see itself as anyone's hero#which comically wrong from any other pov but encapsulates it as a character so so well ugh ugh ugh ugh -1 dmg -1 dmg -1 dmg -1 d#OH ALSO honorable mention to pin-lee giving it identification cards#to demonstrate that they really are not keeping it here#so good. so fucking good
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Y’all im screaming because why did Rowan know Dorian and Manon are mates???
It was in empire of storms while they were all fighting the ilken and Rowan PURPOSELY lowered the barrier around Manon to see what happens and Dorian’s magic just naturally gravitated towards her???? 😭😭😭
#booklr#books and reading#manon blackbeak#throne of glass#tog#dorian havilliard#manon x dorian#manorian#empire of storms#spoilers#empire of storms spoilers#rowan whitethorn#I just remembered this and i can’t stop crying????#like manon and dorian might deny it which is why rowan didn’t ask he just went into action to confirm this because he KNEW#the way his magic just… ugh you can’t move on from that im still hung up on it#it’s something beyond them it’s just… the natural flow of things and honestly knowing that dorian and manon are mates is giving me#so much peace#and of course the resident ancient fae KNEW
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jealousy really is the driving force of DamiTim as a ship. love that for them. love how Tim has the Robin mantle ripped away from him and he has to suffer the jealousy of watching Dick and Damian bond. how possessive over Dick Tim can be, to have him stolen by Dick.
even more so though, is the jealousy from Damian. how on earth do you cope when you finally get to be Robin, a role you've convinced is your birthright, and no one really likes you? every prefers the Robin who came before you? Dick regularly reminds you that he can always go and call Tim back when you act out? like the complex Damian has over Tim is unreal. Tim, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had everything handed to him his whole life. he never had to struggle or fight for his place like Damian did. Damian has spent his whole life fighting and proving himself, and yet he can't ever seem to truly claw the mantle of Robin away from Tim. even when Tim lets it go, becomes Red Robin, they seem to share it. Tim can slip back into the role of Robin whenever someone like Dick or Bruce need him to, because *he's* the Robin who they need. he's the Robin who was able to find Bruce. he's the Robin that Ra's wants an heir out of. he's the Robin who even Jason respects. in Damian's eyes, everything Damian has fought tooth and nail for, was handed to Tim.
so of course he's going to react to Tim with violence and aggression, especially after finding out Tim has contingency plans for him. no matter how much Damian proves himself, he's never going to be enough, especially not to Tim. and so his deep refusal to see Tim as family, to acknowledge Tim's legacy is all driven by such an angry jealousy. Tim understands aspects of Bruce's legacy that Damian doesn't, like the need to sweet talk and play nice with the elites of Gotham, even if they're corrupt. they exemplify different aspects of Robin, and the aspects that Tim exemplifies are the aspects that Damian knows he'll never fully understand and therefore holds such a deep contempt for. he wants to fight criminals, not play nice with politicians. Tim understands the side of Gotham that's utterly foreign to Damian. if anything, he represents that side of Gotham, to Damian. a pretty little rich boy who's nothing but a know-it-all and not a real son of Bruce. he can't be a Wayne. he can't be Damian's family.
and all of that angry jealousy leading to unhealthy obsession turned a weird, angry crush from Damian is just my bread and butter. that is how DamiTim should be. to me. Damian obsessed over hating Tim Drake so much he accidentally ends up sort of in love with him and that only makes Damian angrier. because he can't prove everyone right by *also* liking Tim. he can't let Ra's win like that, because frankly why wouldn't Ra's be delighted by Damian and Tim getting together. and it builds and builds with angry passive aggression towards Tim that culminates in angry hate-fucking-that's-not-just-driven-by-hate. love and hate are always viewed as opposites in shipping and i think they're the same intense passion just in different directions. and for the best ships, they're very intertwined. what is DamiTim is not the peak of that. "i put so much of myself into hating you i had no choice but to fall in love with you somewhere along the way" core. love that bleeds into hate and hate that bleeds into love. "you make me so angry i regularly passively try to kill you but not with any real effort because who would i obsess over if you were actually gone" core. murder attempts as a form of courting. contingency plans to take each other out as a love language. they're unwell.
#necrotic festerings#damitim#timdami#tim drake x damian wayne#damian wayne x tim drake#also possibly a hint of dicktim at the beginning there#i have yelled at my partner about them nonstop#so i had to put the thoughts into a tumblr post to give them peace.#i clearly favor tim in my ships we don't need to talk about it#tim drake is so weird he makes everyone else weird about him by proxy.#like sir contain that aura it's making everyone mentally ill.#i'm not a hamilton girlie at all which is why it makes me so mad Wait For It is SUCH good song for damian#like that song just IS his complex over tim#whether canon or shipping#this pulls from a variety of canon btw#like yeah mostly pre-flashpoint#but i do think the fact that in current comics canon tim keeps defaulting back to being robin#must make damian SO mentally unwell#like oh that does not help your jealousy complex does it.#and the thoughts of tim understanding the elite in ways damian doesn't are inspired by the boy wonder (2024)#which GOD is the first modern comic to fucking understand how tim and damian actually feel about each other#in a way that isn't either cartoonishly evil or makes them make up too easily#ugh. juni ba your mind.#anyway the complex damian has over tim. is fucking wild.#bc like everyone uses it to woobify poor tim for being attacked by big mean damian#which first of all stop taking panels out of context#second of all#dude no WONDER damian has a complex. i'd hate tim's ass too!!!#when i was reading batman & robin (2009) and dick casually says he can still call tim when damian acts out#what kind of threat IS that dick. sir.
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DPxDC Prompt
Thinking back on it, Danny probably should have been more wary of being given the title ‘Ender Of Timelines’.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny phantom#dc x dp#dcxdp#I guess any crossover but it’s the one I was thinking of at the time#probably a summon fic?#they’re like Oh Fuck Who Have These Cultists Brought In?!?!#panic. mayhem. chaos.#meanwhile Danny is like. you put ONE alternate universe version of yourself into your own CLONE and SUDDENLY it’s a PROBLEM#he steadfast ignores the other times he fucked with time and then refucked with it to fix it#arguably it’s a title that should go to Dark Danny who I’m calling Dante because#chefs kiss ITS GREAT#maybe it applies to both so it’s like. a coin toss who shows up#Dante is like. ugh. community service says I CANT. let me give you the most bored speech on the planet about loving the earth and making…#the most of your timeline.#you know. up until he actually NEEDS to go light some fires. which he’s maybe a bit too quick to jump in on as soon as he can#meanwhile Danny is like. I can barely pass geometry and now I gotta help solve THIS problem TOO?!#they’re both good at it. just. different approaches#the timeline is capital f FUCKED if both show up tho#the mythos… you could have so much fun with it lol
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working on something rn and just. There are zero thoughts in four’s head
#I’m undertaking a kind of long comic rn#And I thinkkkk I’ll have the motivation to finish it but drawing something so long (only four pages but still) is definitely new to me#Hopefully ppl like it bc much time is being spent lol#Evie rambles#Anyways that probably won’t post for a while but this is a tiny bit of it! I stayed up till like 3 am very foolishly#But I got a little art done so yay :D#I am NOT giving this fandom tags bc it is just a vessel upon which I am packing up my thoughts and sending them away#Oh also. Traveling rn and so I’m not in a familiar house. And it is SERIOUSLY storming outside#Which normally would not worry me but we’re on top of a pretty large hill (foothill more like) and the thunder is unusually loud#Also I’m pretty sure I heard a tree get struck#Fun times#I’ll probably be fine tho#If I never post again however you’ll know what got me :)#Either the storm or the stinkbugs that keep landing on me… ugh…#Ok posting this despite the mess in the tags#tldr hi everybody I’ll be dropping some substantial art eventually I promise anyways have a four :D
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I think everyone’s subscribing to the “Helena Infiltration Theory” WAYY too quickly. I kinda feel like a lot of the oddities in the way she was acting could be chalked up to something else, and defaulting to “that’s not Helly” feels a lot like… I don’t know, like brushing off character flaws by saying, “No, [X] is possessed! That’s not actually them!”
I’d probably buy into it a bit more if she didn’t have that moment in the halls with Mark where she fervently said, “We’re not the same, actually. Us and the outies, we’re not.”
There are reasons why Helly would want to lie about her identity, and chief among them is the fact that she hates her outie—desperately wants to place distance between them, desperately wants to convince herself that the person she saw wasn’t her.
But there are compelling reasons for both angles, and I can’t say that I won’t be scanning future episodes for hints to either prove or disprove this, so… cheers, 🥂.
#my post#i’m mostly just worried people will use this as some sort of ‘‘gotcha!!!’’ and go the whole season believing it#and then being like. ‘‘what she’s really Not helena?’’ if it doesn’t turn out they’re right#but maybe they are! idk i kinda mostly feel uncomfortable with the idea that it’s Not the helly we know and love;#that the other innies are separated from her#ugh i hate that i can’t find the right way to word my thoughts on this; i feel like the ‘‘analysis’’ i wrote in the post is lacking#but whatever. on a different note: i think i’m not gonna look at theories online/on tumblr while this is happening#because if there is genuinely a theory that predicts something from the show. i’d still rather have seen it in the episode itself#and be surprised that way#WHICH IS GONNA BE DIFFICULT. IT’S GONNA BE HARD AS HELL TO STAY AWAY.#but i digress#severance#severance spoilers#severance season 2 spoilers#honestly the most odd moment for me with helly was when she was like ‘‘wait what?’’ at the news about ricken hale#because i just don’t think she’d give a fuck 💀 she didn’t even see the book initially; i don’t think she’d Know the importance of#what it meant to mark or dylan. least of all remember the name#but that might just be nitpicking#anyways that’s all i can coherently put into words rn. fare thee well
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Thinking about the song "Ship in Port" by Radical Face and clones
Thinking about the line "Farewell to the chains we were born into" and what that can mean for the clones
Thinking about how "But I have always stayed in place/Under that old illusion that it's safe" could equally describe Hunter, Echo, and (s1+2) Crosshair's complete opposite approaches to the Empire and post-war life.
The way Crosshair clings to his identity as a soldier of the Empire
And Echo as a soldier of the Republic
But Hunter puts his identity as a soldier behind him
Crosshair fights for the Empire to gain purpose
Echo fights against the Empire to save his brothers
And Hunter decides the Empire is too strong to even try to oppose
"A ship in port is a safer one"
"but it's not the reason it was made"
"So forgive me if I wander off"
"And forgive me more if I just stay"
Thinking about what The Bad Batch could have been if it had more fully explored the differences between those ideologies
(Thinking about what The Bad Batch could have been if it had dedicated more screen time to the 'reg' clones within the Empire and the underground network's fight to free them , instead of just sidelining Echo and Rex for a hypothetical clone rebellion show we might never get)
#i have lots of thoughts and many draft posts in which i've been struggling to figure out how to word those thoughts#tbb had SO much potential#it was so close!#it really could have been on par with Andor if it has just tried#i feel like i'm projecting these themes that aren't really there#the pieces are there the show just didn't focus on them#i considered saying hunter 'hides from the empire to protect his family' but that never included crosshair just omega#so that felt like giving him too much credit#ignore the music video i just really love the acoustic version bc MMM that viol!#the rest of the lyrics totally fit for clones of this era too btw#like SO WELL ugh#if i had the time resources and attention span I'd make a music video#maybe someday...#(lol i have waay too many projects stuck in my brain and also the new semester started and i'm already so behind rip)#while we're on the subject of radical face and clones#“always gold” is THE perfect heartbreaking Kix song!#tbb#tbb analysis#sw tcw#tbb echo#tbb hunter#tbb crosshair#arc trooper echo#the clones#radical face#bardic musings#sorry i didn't credit the gifs#this has been in my drafts since long before i knew people care about that and i can't find where i found them from#just know the shitty ones are the ones i made lol
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still reading through green lantern stuff and yknow i have to admit. the harder johns and co try to tell me i have to like sodam yat, the less fucks i find myself giving about him. sorry sodam yat but there is nothing that turns me off a character more than the author shoving them down my throat!
#rimi talks#and the fuckass retcon that actually jade's death wasn't REALLY what made kyle into ion again is so. ugh#like i get it ron marz you hate women and don't think they should ever have narrative relevance even in death but FUCK OFF#to be fair i think gibbons (and johns 🙄) were in charge of that and marz got the aftermath#so at least he MENTIONED jade. which is more than gibbons and johns did during war of the sinestro corps lmao#but oh my goddddd i don't give a fuck about sodam yat i really don't i do NOT give a fuck about this stupid man#<- bitchy post because i just read tales of the sinestro corps: ion. and I DONT LIKE HIM. I DO NOT LIKE HIMMMM#sighs deeply. anyway. okay. back to green lantern corps or what the fuck ever.#i have to read everything for kyle up til flashpoint so i can figure out how to do this fic in my mind#but uh. i Will be playing fast and loose and throwing at least some of this out.#i have to read all of it to decide which parts idgaf about (sodam yat) but im almost done. im getting there.#kyle has made it into my top 10 on locg now. good job kyle
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BE NICE TO ME - THE FRONT BOTTOMS - pb curtis
#this is all from ponys perspective btw#the outsiders musical#the outsiders broadway#ponyboy curtis#brody grant#lyrics#it fits so well and i want to scream i love you ponyboy curtis#this is so important to me ugh#this is the first song i felt was outsiders after i read the book for the first time and also i love this song#so unfortunately i feel strongly about it#i could talk about how each lyric fits each panel for hours bro#the outsiders#johnny cade#<- jonathan#darrel curtis#cherry valence#<- sky lakota lynch#sodapop curtis#bob sheldon#<- bullshit#i love pb and johnny is pb&j btw#i just love that for them#i recommend listening to the song while reading each panel if you haven't listened to the song before lol just you have a better idea#if you want#SHOUTOUT TO @newsies-united WHO GAVE ME THE SPOTIFY LYRICS THINGS TYSM POOKIE#and for also giving me banger advice on which screenshots to do lol#silly talkz :p
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Still blows my mind the disparity between the Eng and the JP localization of Sonic Frontiers
So in the og English Tails expresses that he needs to part ways from Sonic so he can grow into a hero on his own, right? That he can't grow by being with him?
But like. The director of the game, who worked with Ian Flynn, worked on the JP localization and it's like. You're telling me that when they localized that scene for the Japanese audience
That it was about Tails learning that there are things only he can do? That instead of concluding that he needs to part ways from Sonic and become a hero, he just comes to realizes the ways in which he and Sonic fill each other's gaps? He learns that he already is on equal footing with Sonic. The two of them are just heroes who save people in different ways?
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic frontiers#tails the fox#miles tails prower#unbreakable bond#personally I think that jp localization story fits Tails and the two of them better than rehashing out the 'tails neeeeeds to split from#sonic and become a hero' again#It gives us the confirmation that they're partners who are already growing together and individually#it gives us a better resolution to Tails' character song too#It recognizes that they don't need to be the same kind of heroes for Tails to be a hero in his own right. It recognizes that Tails doesn't#need to be exactly like sonic to be by his side#which again follows up his character song better#Ugh what I would have given to be a fly on the wall during the story work of Frontiers#this is also not the only character story that's completely different despite being on similar topics between these two versions for#the record#It's just. God watching jp frontiers makes me wish that THAT was what they wanted to present to the english speaking audience too#Tails to me doesn't need to be the guy who is never allowed to achieve his goal and finish his growth#Especially since we had years of games with Sonic and Tails as the main protagonists‚ I think at this point Tails has earned his spot at#Sonic's side#He doesn't need to forever chase being exactly like Sonic. Even in the Sonic Adventure games he wanted to grow on his own‚ knowing he#couldn’t stand beside Sonic as a partner if he only pursued being exactly like him#He wanted to get out of his shadow#and to me jp Frontiers recognizes that he already has. it has him and sonic come to a meaningful conclusion#Eng frontiers just tells us he needs to try again.#It's fine if you like eng frontiers for the record I just think Tails deserved better than that#i just be ramblin#Also this is not an opening to talk to me about how much you dislike Ian Flynn. Though I don’t like the story of Eng Frontiers I don't blame#him 100% for what we got
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scratching at the walls of my brain. I WANNA POST SOMETHING NEW TO AO3. but that means I have to FINISH SOMETHING which is so harddd
#it’s been too long and the itch is setting in#the last chapter of ouyu is so close….#but it still has some holes and needs editing…which is HARD….#and the same is true of the dozen other drafts I have that I desperately want to post#they’re all just a *little* too far from done for me to just sit down and finish one#ugh…#maybe I should post snippets or something. for external validation.#I need the equivalent of that fun trick or treat ask game. (which I will probably be doing again this year btw)#something to give me enough energy to push thru the drudgery of editing#stars rambles
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The yearly struggle over a Christmas/birthday list ugh
#I wouldn’t even make one if my parents didn’t insist#rambles from the floor#delete later#‘what do you want’ I DON’T KNOWWWW#I NEVER know#the only things I actually want are expensive or not an option#or immaterial things you literally can’t give as gifts#augh#I just don’t know#I always feel weird about gifts#I guess I feel like I’m not worth spending money on#which yeah yeah it’s dumb but also. I still feel weird about it#ugh I need to stop stressing over everything
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