#which is like a pretty obvious thing now that I think about it but I was always using the academic journals for what I needed

[kenntolog]

hello, dear author! i do feel like that loser gf is the kind of person that can’t say no so some of her classmates took advantage of that, and of course, loser gf won’t notice that but sukuna would. can you write something about that? i’m just so inlove with the way you write about the two of them :) thank you!

𝝑𝝔 an: hello, my sweet reader!! thank you so much <33 hope you enjoy!!

anyways, so i agree with your statement.

sukuna adores and kinda hates how kind you are to everyone around you, no matter what. because people are mean and they like to use kind people, y’know? :((

and he sees it very clearly with your classmates from the classes which he doesn’t share with you because no one dares approach you with that kind of request with sukuna around. it’s not that sukuna intentionally scares them, but he marks his territory well with an arm thrown over your shoulders and an intimidating expression on his face whenever he isn’t particularly focused on you.

but either way, sukuna still catches onto the fact that people around you are using you. of course, he notices that you’re writing in someone else’s notebook and sometimes you stay late doing a lot of stuff and whenever he wonder what’re you up to, you just mumble something about doing ‘(enter classmate’s name)’s something something’, and if at first it’s not that concerning, he kind of starts suspecting a little later.

mostly because your sense of responsibility doesn’t let you ditch homework for a while to spend time with him, but also why the fuck would you do someone else’s homework?

soon enough sukuna starts appearing by your side a little earlier than usual; and as he approaches, he manages to overhear some girls and sometimes guys being thankful to you for their stuff. after being a witness of a couple of more similar situations it clicks fast in his brain that it isn’t just a little help and you’re being to sweet to people who don’t deserve it at all.

so he takes the matter into his own hands and starts a conversation as soon as he sees you huffing over someone’s notebook once again.

“y’should really cut that out, loser.” he says with disdain in his tone, settling down on the bed by your side.

you look up at him with a questioning look, pen between your teeth, “hm?”

“they know you won’t say ‘no’ so they’re using you.”

sukuna’s tone implies that it’s an obvious thing and everyone can see it. everyone but you. you’re still doubtful though, brows pinching upwards as your bottom lip juts out defensively.

“but what if they really need help? and if they’re approaching me it means i’m helpful and smart, right? and maybe they wanna be friends! right, ‘kuna?”

he purses his lips and silently shakes his head no.

that makes you think about all of the times people came to you for help. same people who laughed at the way you stuttered during presentations, same people who gave you tasteless looks from afar and thought you wouldn’t notice. same people who never really talked to you if it didn’t mean asking a question about lesson or something like that.

but they were being so nice when asking for help with their work! some even joked around before asking and you couldn’t help but think that maybe you were doing something right? as much as you didn’t want to do more work, you didn’t want people to think you were mean or rude, which kind of concealed the fact that those people were the unkind ones.

you come to that realisation pretty quickly, putting away the notebook in your hands as you look up at sukuna, “oh.”

“yeah.”

“that’s kinda mean, ‘kuna.”

“yeah, baby,” he sighs heavily, pleased with you, and tugs you closer so you can rest your head on his chest. “i gotta teach you how to say no, but for now, i’ll help you deal with those shitheads tomorrow, alright?”

“alright.”

needless to say, as soon as someone approaches you the next day to ask about their request — boom, sukuna appears out of nowhere and tells them to fuck off. and you gradually learn that it’s okay to say no, whatever the request or reasoning is, it’s really fine.

[loumandiel]

Months of reading how Armand is the Big Bad man behind the curtain manipulating and mindcontrolling everyone with his godlike powers, and now suddenly in one day it switched to cruel Pimp Louis manipulating and enslaving Armand and Armand being his poor victim. I'm begging you to look at these characters and their relationships with some nuance. I'm not denying that Louis is trying to manipulate Armand in some moments (Jacob said it himself in the post-episode bit) but seeing that park scene as Louis intentionally evoking Armand's trauma and a pimp and slave assuming their old roles is in my opinion a stretch and i didn't read it that way. Tbh i also find it pretty offensive that some people are acting like when Louis was a pimp he was doing something similar to people who subjected Armand to literal sexual slavery because they're vastly different situations.

Arun isn't Armand's 'slave name' or 'prostitute name', it was his actual birth name before he was sold and abused, and he lost that name due to abuse. If Louis had actually wanted to push a master-slave dynamic he would've probably called Armand Amadeo, because that was the name Armand's abuser, who Armand served and in some way still loves, gave to him. When Louis was a pimp he notably also didn't actually act particularly domineering with sex workers, on the contrary he was usually friendly to them, because he felt guilty for exploiting women and tried to convince himself he was just helping and working with them and that they were equals. He made sex workers like Bricktop Williams minority owners of his business and they felt comfortable with criticizing him. If Louis had actually 'treated Armand like one of his prostitutes' in this episode he would've acted completely differently. Remember also that Armand has a remarkable mind gift and that Louis is bad at hiding his thoughts: if Louis had actually been trying to manipulate Armand in this specific way, Armand would very likely know it.

In the beginning of the episode Armand is frustrated that Louis doesn't acknowledge that they're companions, and Louis expresses that they don't really know each other. Later at the restaurant Armand gets angry and uses his powers dramatically which upsets Louis. He also talks to Louis rather harshly, saying that he and Santiago are acting like fledglings (children) and angrily tells Louis to come back when he leaves. Later Armand comes to apologize bringing flowers. All this reminds Louis of Lestat, and reveals how apprehensive he still is about Armand. Armand deciding to tell Louis his story is a conscious effort to show vulnerability and convince Louis of what he promised: that Armand isn't like Lestat and he isn't going to hurt him. Jacob said that dreamstat represents not only Lestat but Louis' doubts about Armand. In the museum scene this is particularly obvious when Louis feels deep sympathy for Armand, but at the same time dreamstat - a part of Louis - looks angry and distrustful. According to Jacob in the park scene as Louis lets go of Lestat he's also letting go of those doubts and accepting Armand as he is and for who he is.

So when Louis calls Armand by his birth name that could be considered his 'real' name even though no one has called him that for centuries, i see it as him saying 'Do we see each other now? Are we honest about things now? Can i trust that you are who you say you are?' When Armand calls Louis maitre he's trying to establish an impression of equality, because as they both know Armand is the maitre and the leader of the coven and the one with much more power. For Armand the ideal of love is the one of mutual worship and servitude. Like many things with Armand, his actions in this episode are both sincere and manipulative, and his seeming submissiveness is also certain kind of domination that helps him to get what he wants.

I just don't think their relationship is anything like Louis being a master and Armand being a slave at all. It's a very, very complicated and mercurial relationship that is not easily defined and where the dynamics are constantly shifting. As Jacob said, they're constantly flip-flopping between who's the dominant one and who's the submissive one, and who needs what out of the other. He also said that at the end of this episode their relationship takes on this almost BDSM kind of role playing where their roles switch, which implies that a) it's a play and not what their relationship is actually like and b) there was earlier a different dynamic where Armand was more dominant. Their Rashid role play in Dubai was also that, a role play.

When talking about those Louis' 'manipulative instincts' as Jacob called them, it needs to be considered they're something that Louis developed having to live in a racist society for all his life ("using his weakness to rise") and being in an abusive relationship for decades. For Louis that kind of soft power has often been the only power he has, and of course he's resorting to it when in a relationship with much older and much more powerful person he doesn't fully trust. The way i perceive Louis and Armand's relationship, it's a fragile, carefully crafted design built on contradictions, performances and illusions, where they both seek to maintain a fantasy where they both feel sufficiently in control and the relief of releasing that control at the same time

[sunrizef1]

What Happens in Vegas pt 14

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, verbal abuse

Word Count: 1.6k

Authors Note: No Charles content in this one but important nonetheless

Summary: Logan and Y/N talk, y/n finally reveals who’s been texting her

Masterlist

“Have I ever told you about my family?”

Logan doesn’t reply for a moment, annoyance still resting under his deadpan expression. You’re both sat on the floor of his drivers room, backs resting against the wall behind you, coffee from the Williams hospitality sitting in foam cups getting cold as they sit, untouched. Champagne dries on the top of your skin, casting a sticky residue onto your face and the ends of your hair.

Your win was now forgotten, the trophy having been left in your room to be picked up by a random Porsche employee who’d eventually get it back to you. Logan’s DNF was also now forgotten, although it did leave a lasting effect on his mood, eyebrows furrowed and arms crossed tightly.

“No, but I know your dad.”

You tilt your head, pulling the inside of your cheek between your teeth as you respond, “Well, you know him now.”

Logan doesn’t respond, not in the mood to play into your vagueness. He’d invited you here to explain. He knew you’d clarify eventually, whether he asked you to or not.

“It’s a complicated story,” you pause, bile rising to your throat at the notion of explaining your childhood and forcing you to swallow it back down, “You don’t have to say anything.”

Logan hums, obviously not planning on speaking much anyway. Both of you stare off toward the floor in front of you, unspoken words hanging in the air around you.

“I was born in France, not sure if you knew that,” you start after a moment, hesitance laced in your words, “Everyone thinks I was born in Texas but my mom would’ve rather died than let that happen.”

“You probably know my mom, Amelie Laurent, French, vogues favorite person and I guess she’s a pretty famous model,” Logan pauses for a second, no doubt not aware of who your mom was, before he nods in recognition of the name.

“When my parents had me, they were still in love, I think,” you furrow your eyebrows as the words leave your mouth, “Um, but after they had me, I guess they got really busy with their jobs and stuff so they sent me to live with my grandparents in Texas for a while.”

“Didn’t really see them much growing up. My dad took me to the paddock a lot though, I got to hang out with everyone at McLaren, which was nice.”

“But he was busy so I usually got stuck with Kimi and then eventually Lewis, when he joined, which is where the uncle Lew thing comes from. Sometimes I felt like McLaren and Mercedes raised me more than my dad did,” the end of your statement comes out in a whisper, this being the first time you’d voiced the idea.

Logan glances over as your face sours, his hand coming out to hand you your, now cold, coffee. You grasp it from him and take a sip, sliding it back down to the ground after.

“When I was 8 my parents had my brother, which I think was the final straw. They got a divorce right after and my dad moved me to England. My brother stayed in France with our mom,” you wince.

“I started karting, my grandma moved to England to take me around to races when my dad couldn’t. Despite my own… objections, I spent my summers at my moms house with her and my brother.”

You pause, stomach turning as you let out a shaky breath, memories flooding back. Logan shows his first emotion of the night, glancing over to check you're not going to die. When he confirms you're, in fact, breathing, he looks back to the floor.

“I don't think she wanted kids. Maybe she did. At one point. But I think, after the divorce, all I did was remind her of my dad, a man she hated more than anything. She made it obvious with the way she treated me, as well. Well actually, the way she treated both me and my brother.”

“She never wanted me in karting, made it clear. Only reminded her of my dad again, made me do ballet in the summers. Thought it was more proper, or whatever. Didn't let us speak English at her house either, we were only allowed French, took Juli forever to learn English correctly, he'd only grown up with her.”

“Juli?” Logan asks, adding his first bit of input since you'd started talking.

“Brother,” you mumble into your knees as you pull them into your chest, resting your tired face against them. Logan nods.

“Um, she yelled a lot, I guess. A lot of stuff about our futures and how we'd always be failures if we went through with racing and football, she didn't like that Julian only wanted to play football, either.”

“Dad didn’t know, I didn’t tell him,” you mumble, “I didn’t think there was that much wrong with it until I left.”

“She just sucked, man,” you groan, eyes shutting tight as your head falls back against the wall, “I hated her so much! Because I was winning, I was getting these championships and getting these trophies and I thought she’d finally accept that I wanted to kart but the only thing she’d tell me was that I’d never get anywhere!”

You take a deep breath, holding back the faint tears in your eyes.

“But yeah, that's the worst of it, really. Completely cut contact at 15. Begged my grandparents to let me spend summers with them. They let me.”

“It just stuck with me for a while, you know? The shit my mom would say. A lot of crap about how I was failing myself with racing or how I would never have a future if I continued down that path. Said a lot of things about how I'd always find a way to lose and that it would never be worth it if I wasn't the best. Everytime I lost a race, she would find a way to use it against me, proof that I shouldn't be racing.”

“I did block her though, couldn’t stand the constant texts when I lost. Probably wasn’t even very easy to find those results, they weren’t exactly mainstream,” you furrow your eyebrows, confusion passing over your face momentarily, “Anyway, three years later, I’m 18. I move out and sign an f3 contract. My dad got super busy with Lewis’s championships and Mercedes. Kimi was actually the first to congratulate me.”

“I haven't spoken to my mom or my brother in, what? 8 years? I've mostly forgotten them by now, paris a thing of the past,” you trail off, the air of Logan’s room suddenly feeling a lot colder.

“All this to say, um-“ you rush out, shaking your head quickly.

You finally look over toward Logan, moving your body to face his, “She texted me, in Australia. Told me that the crash was all she'd ever expected from me, anyway. She's been calling ever since.”

Logan turns his head, concern written on his face.

“I think I'd forgotten about everything she said since it's been so long. But that text kind of brought it all back. It's been stuck in my mind for every single race. That's the reason I’ve been so unfocused lately. I don’t even know how she got my number, she was blocked on my old number and then I just got a new one, I don’t know how she could’ve got it.”

Logan, having dropped his previous spite, quirks his head, “What about yesterday?”

You swallow thickly, “Julian texted me. She kicked him out. He’s staying with a teammate. He’s sixteen, Lo. He’s still a kid.”

You fall back against the wall with a thump, your hands coming up to cover your eyes, “He’s still in France, still training with PSG. He’s asked to talk to me before Monaco.”

“Monaco?”

You nod solemnly, “My least favorite race, too close to my mom. I was so relieved when they took France off the calendar, you know? I’m pretty sure that, until recently, she didn’t know I was even in F1. She’s sworn off any media that isn’t French and I chose to race under dads last name. Makes me think someone told her I was.”

Logan hums, trying to process all the information you’d just told him. Eventually, he pats you heavily on the back, groaning as he stands up. You look up as he reaches a hand down to you, questions laying in your gaze.

Logan pushes his hand further down toward you, “Seems like a good enough reason to go out, celebrate your win. We can talk heavy solutions in the morning. For now, you are a race winner. A race winner who needs to get her mind off her fucked up family.”

You grin at his words, grasping his outstretched hand and letting him pull you up, “You reacted better than Arthur did. Think he was about to throw up with me.”

Logan pauses, his face screwing up with faux betrayal, “You told Arthur before me?”

You roll your eyes, “I was having a panic attack on the floor of the bathroom, talking about it was the only thing to get me out of it.”

Logan smiles softly at your response, slinging an arm over your shoulder as you two walk out of his room, “Let’s go, winner. Who do you think the most famous person you can get to celebrate with you tonight is?”

You take a moment to think about your response, “I think I saw Kendall Jenner, I’m sure I’ll probably see her at some point.”

Logan hums, looking out ahead of both of you, “You know I’ve seen the pictures of you two in Miami last year? You were so far gone.”

You laugh, hitting him in the ribs, “Shut up. We should leave soon, Porsche has probably already started partying without us.”

Logan laughs, patting your shoulder lightly as you both go to leave the Miami paddock.

———————————————

[archivists-plus-one]

So I've had a running theory for TMAGP for a while now and I think today's episode gave me just enough to somewhat solidify it... 

(Special thanks to @clare-89 for helping out with this!)

Spoilers for The Magnus Protocol up to + including episode 19 below:

Chester - Sulphur (The Soul)

Okay so my theory is that each of the TTS Gang represent/are connected to each of the three alchemical primes, and this is what keeps FR3-D1 'balanced'. And I'm pretty sure I've connected the dots...

I think this is the most obvious of the three - he has had every single case that has been categorised as “transformation” so far, and the other cases he’s had have all related back to The Magnus Institute, been very ‘Eye’ orientated, or mentioned Hilltop Road or interdimensional travel (And the doppelganger case did say it was in Oxford…). Transformation also has a deeper meaning - in alchemy, it is believed that the human soul has the capacity to transform, and the process of doing so is very similar to what happens on an alchemist’s bench. 

Norris - Salt (The Body)

So it was while I was putting this together that I realised that Norris has actually only had four cases so far. His first one, the first case we heard in the show, was about a reanimated body which no longer talked or acted like the person it was.  If that doesn’t say it’s a body lacking a soul or a mind, I don’t know what does. The second one was the first with the infection in episode 3. This one, to me, could have been ‘The Mind’, but it is quite literally about a person losing his mind, and his body being taken over by whatever this weird plant infection is. The liminal space episode has many soulless, mindless ‘bodies’ acting as ‘NPCs’ in the services. And I think the Mr Bonzo case is quite self explanatory.

Augustus - Mercury (The Mind) 

Okay, so we have only had two Augustus cases, and at first I mostly gave him ‘Mercury’ because it was the last one and he had to fit into it somehow, but looking closer at the cases…he does. The violin case from episode 4 had a couple of instances of ‘mind control’, to a degree - The first being when the writer’s tutor is compelled to jump out of the moving carriage, and the second when the writer plays the violin and it appears to compel everybody to murder each other. The case from episode 18, with the person building a ‘house’ in their mind, is, again, also pretty self explanatory. 

But the thing that pulled this all together for me from episode 19 was actually a line from Colin:

If we are to believe that Chester is connected to sulphur, this would absolutely make sense - Sam has been becoming too obsessed with listening to Chester’s cases, particularly about The Magnus Institute, and he has been warned multiple times that it’ll “drive him mad”.

He also says that the world will end with too much mercury. Maybe this is why Augustus is only ‘allowed’ to read out a few cases? And if we’re running with the jmj theory that Augustus is Jonah….well, we’ve seen how too much of him can end the world. And Jonah did have the ability to see into people’s minds.

Another interesting thing here is that “Stasi” was the secret police agency of the German Democratic Republic (East Germany) between 1950 and 1990, and was both hated and feared. Knowing that FR3-D1 is written with German source code, I can’t help but wonder why they would have commissioned the program, and exactly why the OIAR have access to it. And exactly what really happened to Klaus…

Of course, as always, I entirely expect to be completely wrong about everything, but... What am I if not a nerd.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 151 thoughts

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 8

Aqua Hoshigan Status: Black

Kana enjoyers continue to eat good in this new arc, as 151 very clearly parallels what's considered one of the more iconic AquKana chapters from the first half of the manga with a bit of role reversal in the mix. 'Reversal' is sort of the keyword for this chapter for a handful of reasons but we'll get into that when it's relevant.

the usual shout out to mengo for Peak Faces this chapter. my faves were kana's blushy face as she takes off her glasses and aqua covering his blush with his baseball glove… it does NOT get cuter than that.

It's pretty cathartic to see Kana get a similar TV spotlight to BH!Ruby, where she's centered in B-Komachi's success and Ruby is sort of just in the background lol. That said… kinda of hate that OnK is continuing to frame the ShimaD shit!!! I have a lot of complicated feelings about it but I will say that overall, it's pretty fucked that the story made all those correct assertions about sexual harassment in the entertainment industry and how women and young girls specifically are pressured to kowtow to men to retain their place in the industry and then like… not? link any of this?? to what happened to Kana??? Weird and bad!!!!

on the plus side. megarima and maskua <3

It feels like a good step for Kana to confidently assert that they are, in fact, on a date and their shared visible embarrassment is pretty cute. This is what I meant when I said this chapter was a bit of a reversal of chapter 30, which Aqua even calls explicit attention to - running from school to play catch vs running to school. It works well, imo, as a sort of marker of both change and consistency for both of these characters, showing us how far they've come… but at the same time, how much has managed to stay the same. This return to the early AQKN dynamic is really nice… their moment to moment rapport is the one I enjoy most in the series so even though it's definitely jarring to whiplash back to it after the Movie Arc… idk!! I am still enjoying it all the same.

aqua calling her out on it being a baseball date was really funny btw

And their talk about dreams is… Very Shrimptresting. I keep waffling back and forth on what to take from it, because hypothetically I think it's really interesting but whether or not I really end up liking it is going to depend on how things are handled with Aqua going forward…! IDK, this is the obvious pitfall of analyzing the story like this week to week,

I guess all I'll say now is that this falls in line with how I was reading last chapter's framing of Gorou -> Aqua, where Aqua's inheritance of that identity is just that - an inheritance and it's up to him what he chooses to do with that legacy. He can decide for himself what parts of it he wants to take with him into the future and what he chooses to leave behind.

That said: this is still black hoshigan Aqua. Is this just a 'dream' because it's something he wants but doesn't think he'll be able to have? Or is Aqua starting to seriously consider a future for himself past the end of his revenge quest? It was Kana who prompted him for an answer, after all, and he's already had to make a promise to her that he won't 'disappear'. Is he just lying here to put her at ease? Much to consider…….

Kana's side of this conversation is also really interesting. Kana is a person who acts out of genuine love for her craft, yes, but she's also correct that she kind of already got her assumed end goal of 'be a nationally famous actress' when she was a kid and it didn't necessarily make her happy or fulfilled. To a degree, she's been operating on momentum and desperation to cling to the industry so much of her identity was formed around. But if a 'dream' is something she just wants for herself, without her career coming into it… then what does Kana really want?

And the answer, obviously, is Aqua. With another 'oshi no ko' title drop, to boot…!

It's a little sad that even as Kana makes this tentative confession to him, she still downplays herself in favour of Memcho and Ruby but the emotional stakes she's putting on the table are very loaded. This essentially, without either girl knowing it, puts her in direct competition with Ruby who very much seems to still want to milk her sensei's Little Aqua and I don't imagine that conflict is going to go off without fireworks.

Interestingly, though, this isn't the only point on which the two are opposed here: this is what I mean when I said this chapter's keyword was 'reversal'. While Ruby insists that 'Sensei' is her oshi, Kana offers to be Aqua's oshi. This isn't the first time it's happened, either - when Kana talks about her feelings last chapter, she describes them as 本気の恋 (honki no koi), i.e, seriously, earnestly, truly in love whereas Ruby's confession uses the term ガチ恋 (gachikoi), a slang term referring to a fan who considers themselves to be legitimately in romantic love with a celebrity/idol/etc - and specifically says she's gachikoi for Sensei. Gachikoi is also how the first generation of B-Komachi are described in both Viewpoint B and 45510 in the original Japanese text. On just about all fronts, these two are bound to clash going into the final arc of the story and I'm tentatively interested to see where it goes.

No break next week!

[glai1023-blog]

What I thought happened to the Carlos Sainz contract saga (I am not an insider I am just speculating based on the timeline and whatever comes out officially and unofficially) If you don't agree, dont come after me, make your own possible scenario. I'm just a bored F1 fan who has trouble falling asleep and making speculations to pass time:

--2023 Ferrari start contract talks with both Charles and Carlos since both of them have their contracts ending on 2024, they plan on announcing the renewal simultaneously probably in Monza (home ground and all that)

--obviously Charles gets offered a multi-year because I think he has a great management team around him and because he is Ferrari's golden boy, Mr. Todt of course secured a contract favorable for Charles because although he looks like a meek boy I think he is a very ruthless businessman and truly has Charles back, also after the 2022 debacle I think Ferrari wants to get back to Charles good graces. They probabaly just said yes to most of his demands.

-- Carlos gets offered a 1+1 contract which his team countered offer, I dont know how good a negotiator his cousin is but I guess talks slowed down because neither party is willing to back down so announcement gets delayed

--somewhere along negotiation with the Sainz camp, Lewis is reaching his limit with Merc and probably sent a feeler to other teams

--since talks with Carlos' management is going nowhere still, Elkann decides to try his luck with Lewis after discovering he is open to switching teams

--Lewis hits a breaking point with Merc and starts serious talks with Ferrari. Feeling things may be getting clearer with Lewis, Ferrari may or may not have tried to give a final push to Carlos with the 1+1 offer which his camp probably still didn't like and counter offered.

--Ferrari decides to announce the solo multi-year (I still hate Ferrari for making this a thing and not saying the actual numbers) contract renewal of Charles

--Ferrari decides not to renew Carlos' contract. Elkann & Vasseur decides to go full battle gear, all hands on deck negotiations with Lewis which he obviously appreciates and accepted.

--Lewis probably (ehem definitely) signed with Ferrari without giving a heads up to Toto. Ferrari was not planning on announcing Lewis' move the way it came out and it probably (ehem definitely) is leaked by Toto when Lewis informed him after the fact.

--Carlos, now seatless for 2025 gets a lucrative offer from Audi, he is not sure he wants to take his chances with a new team on the grid and decides to try with Redbull and Merc first which kept Audi hanging (I'm not sure how they really felt about that, but since they keep saying very PR friendly statement to the press about Carlos' situation with them lets just say they really want him in their line up)

--Redbull is not going to sign Carlos, there were definitely talks but I dont think Christian likes him that much (that guy has a hard on for Ricciardo) . Merc... merc is in a limbo (like their car) after Lewis drops them a bomb and now they dont know if they should take an early gamble with Kimi or sign a more seasoned driver first 'til Kimi is F1 ready, so they offer Carlos a 1 year (to keep an option open for Kimi) which obviously Sainz camp didn't like.

--So now, Carlos ends up having to choose between accepting the Audi offer (if they still have that offer on the table since Carlos kept them waiting for quite a while) and apparently the Williams seat, because I think its pretty obvious they are not keeping Logan.

And that's how I think it all went down 😂

Can we sleep now, brain?

[quibbs126]

So I decided to finish off the day with a kid from scratch (granted I ended up finishing later than I thought), whom also happened to not be a request, but I decided to do because the pairing caught my eye when scrolling to Dark Sapote. Anyways, this is Matcha Cheesecake

…Uh, I’m only realizing now I don’t have a character for her. She just has vibes and a design. Let me make something up right quick

Let’s see, she’s an avid party lover, frequently attending her mother’s parties (though not in this outfit, rather the one from the sketch). She also tends to be a bit egotistical and vain. However, her more eccentric personality only tends to come out at parties or in social events; outside of that she’s a lot more of a shut in

She’s also not exactly helpless, as she constantly grows plants, and they even tend to grow on her. The plants she grows also tend to be sentient, and see her as their master. So it’s best not to cross her

…I don’t really have much else. I mean I guess at least this wasn’t a request so that I disappoint whoever asked for it, but I feel like I’m not giving much interesting here either way

The name’s pretty obvious and self explanatory. She’s a cheesecake made with matcha, her name is literally a combination of her moms

Matcha cheesecake:

I’m gonna be honest, I feel like she could have turned out way better. Or at least, I think so in my head

She wasn’t that bad during the sketch phase, but it got difficult with the colors. I think it’s a case of Matcha and Cheesecake’s colors working well together as a pair, but when I try to combine them, at least how I was attempting to here with the light greens, they don’t work that well. Her final color scheme was me trying to come up with colors that looked semi nice together

A real shame too, since the pictures I found of matcha cheesecake (as well as basque matcha cheesecake since that’s a thing too) had some really nice looking color schemes

Also, during the final phases of the sketch, I was debating between this outfit and the one you see in the rough sketch above

In my eyes, she has both outfits, but one she wears at parties and the other is her casual, I just wasn’t sure what to make her default, until my friend said the second one

Speaking of the dress, that was giving me so much trouble throughout the sketching phase, I kept having to try and make new ones over and over again until I eventually got to the two you see

I tried using Festivia from Star vs as a reference, which is why she has her horns that way and the headband. She also originally had an outfit closer to Festivia’s, but it didn’t pan out because of the legs

I swear, every time I draw a character sitting with their legs in a certain position, they end up wearing a dress or something that partially goes over their legs, and it makes my job so much harder. I know I do it to myself, but still, it’s really frustrating

To be honest, I don’t know if my frustration comes from me not liking her design, or if it’s just that I’ve been up all night and she doesn’t look exactly perfect. My thoughts on her may change come the morning. But I don’t feel like she’s my best work. Maybe I stretched myself too thin creatively by trying to make myself to a third guy by day’s end

Anyways yeah, that’s Matcha Cheesecake. Not much to write home about to be honest, but I hope you can find some enjoyment from her

[kamiko1234]

Okay done with chapter 10 starting with chapter 11 of The Lightning Thief, and normally I planned on not making a post on every single chapter BUT, I do have some changes/additions in my traitor theories.

So first off, Annabeth is the traitor. SO far has the most prove in the book imo (which is till meager), but I REALLY don't like how she told Percy that they HAVE to not get along because of their parents. Personally I just think that's more proof for my "Annabeth is the traitor" theory.

She was pretty nice to Percy pre-claiming, and on the bus she did fully intend sacrificing herself for him. But she also seems to have this very deep anchored world view of how their parents should affect them and their actions.

So, I modify my theory : Annabeths a traitor, but will get a redemption arc. The reason for the betrayal stays the same, her mom and her rivalry with Poseidon. And Annabeth would think that she NEEDS to betray Percy bc she's the kid of her mom.

So instead of being a malicious traitor, she'd be more like a tragic, indoctrinated villain who needs to be shown to do better ! It most definitely would be interesting.

HOWEVER, this is based of the reaction of another friend when I talked to them about my theories and they reacted very...... weird. After some time I threw in Grover being the traitor more as a joke and while not SAYING anything, that silence was SHOUTING.

So, Grover being the traitor. Canon proof ? Not rly there. Would it be one hell of a plot twist ? YES. Could be bitterness maybe ? My impression was that Satyrs were sort of servants or atleast bellow halfbloods in some way. I could deffo see him getting worked up over that.

Then however he did have a close relationship with Percy and a GOOD reason to stay loyal to get his license. So may I present : Multi-book build up of Grover betraying Percy.

With that I mean, should Grover be the traitor I think he wouldn't betray Percy in this book. Chiron said smth about prophecies having double meanings, so I assume they can be kinda wacky. Imagine Grover slowly building resent against the demi gods for how they use his ppl as tools/servants, and betrays Percy/the halfbloods as a whole in a later book. It could be a cool moment where the thing mentioned in the first book comes back around !

I do however admit myself, that theory is a WILD. Like, WILD WILD. And my only thing to go off on is the silence of my friend and the emoji's they send as a response. Take that theory with the BIGGEST grain of salt.

The third option I think possible : The traitor isn't gonna be Annabeth OR Grover, but will be a character later introduced. Comes from me starting to think that Annabeth could be a bit obvious with the whole sudden switch in how she acts with Percy making it a bit obvious. And the Grover theory being borderline crack.

That option would be my fav, since tbh I don't RLY want Annabth to go villain (even if the redemtion arc would be juicy as hell) but I also don't want Grover to start resenting his friends.

Logically speaking I do think it's Annabeth more likely than Grover tho. (Considering I now have theories for both being the traitor we're basically back to square one. Kill me, please.)

ON ANOTHER NOTE; apparently it's quite common for the author to describe scars as ugly looking and evil. (Thanks to the wonderful user who gave me that info !) Which, first off, YIKES. Not good, like at all.

That fact does however help me with my theory, since it allows me to safely eliminate one character for sure now. Luke !

I mean, I already didn't think it was him. The only thing that made me peek up was when he was described as evil-looking in that one paragraph. But if that (sadly) apparently is a norm, then it more likely than not wasn't foreshadowing.

So yeah, it's not gonna be Luke so I can just start to safely ignore him in my traitor theories. (Not like I ever considered him a real candidate in the first place, he's just safely eliminated in my head now)

[detransition]

from missmastectomy

A mastectomy has physical AND social repercussions. A therapist or a surgeon might tell you the obvious, like that you can’t breastfeed and that your breasts won’t grow back post-mastectomy, but they won’t tell you about what the mastectomy *feels* like. They can’t. They have never experienced it.

I can tell you, though.

I am 3 years post double mastectomy (top surgery, not cancer related). It is nothing like having a naturally flat chest. Even without my incision scars, my chest doesn’t have the same fat distribution on either side, though it’s small enough to be noticeable to me and not anyone else. I have sensation, but it’s very much dulled, especially on my nipples. I’ve seen it described as the chest feeling like a black hole and I have to agree.

I don’t look like I have a “male chest,” and a big part of that is because I have curves. Males and females FUNDAMENTALLY have very different chests and removing your breasts WILL NOT give you a flat, girly look or a male look. That is highly unlikely. You are much more likely to look like a woman with scars and just a generally “off” chest.

There’s so much trans art out there that just doesn’t represent what a double mastectomy looks like in real life. It is highly romanticized and often portrayed as ✨ cutesy scars ✨ on an otherwise masculine body. No. No no no, that is not what this procedure does! I promise you that when you look up trans mastectomy results, you are going to end up seeing the “best ones,” the most successful ones, often on transmen who pass quite well and already have pretty masculine body types.

You are far less likely to hear about the botched surgeries, which thankfully mine is not. The surgeries where people need multiple revisions, the surgeries where people lose ALL sensation, the surgeries where people develop chronic pain.

When you get a mastectomy, you are removing a body part full stop. There are going to be side effects because this procedure is no joke, and mine are comparatively mild. I get itching on my scars sometimes and a mild burning sensation, which can be triggered by stress. Even if it’s elective and you think you want this, your body will remember it has lost a piece of itself. It doesn’t matter how dysphoric you are. There used to be something on your chest and now it is gone forever and nothing will bring it back, barre more surgery that is nothing but an imitation of the real thing.

I cannot express to people considering this surgery how difficult recovery is and living with it afterwards, even if you’re happy at first. I was happy at first. But then I detransitioned and realized I had been taken advantage of by a sociopathic, money hungry surgeon as a teenager. Even if I had persisted as trans, I would still deal with the fact that my flatness was not natural, but surgically constructed. My body could never forget the physical trauma of being sliced into like that, no matter how much I thought I wanted it.

You are not a Mr. Potato head. These are serious surgeries and they have serious, life long repercussions. Your breasts are not baby feeders or male attractors - they are a part of your body, your temple. And your body will feel the loss, even if (at first) you do not.

Do not get this as an elective procedure. These surgeons are lying to you. They don’t care about you. All they care about is money. The next time your dysphoria acts up and you’re considering a mastectomy, don’t think about the fantasy you’ve constructed in your mind where you’re just a male with chest scars. Instead, think about the fact that I’m order to achieve this “look,” you literally need to maim yourself. Think about the total loss of sensation, the dangers of the surgery itself, the feeling of complete and utter violation you will live with permanently if you ever regret your decision.

And then make your choice.

thinking of detransition? you are not alone

[elliesfavbae]

Are you nervous, flower? - first kiss with Ellie

synopsis: Your more experienced at kissing best friend helps you out

Pairing: Ellie Williams x unexperienced!reader

warnings: just a fluff, my first fic too (how do i crop a pic)!

part 2

wc: ab 1500

It was a hot summer day. Like 32 degrees celsius outside. The sweet space of your room was no better. You were BOILING, everything sticking to your skin. Ellie could’ve said the same, sitting next to you in your room. It was like she was a part of your room’s scenery at this point, she was there almost all the time. You have been friends since you remember, spending every while with each other. Ellie recently broke up with her girlfriend and she was ranting about it:

“I let her be my girlfriend for two months for what?! So she can cheat on me WITH A MAN?” She emphasizes the last three words

It seemed like she wasn’t upset about losing her, just was frustrated she “wasted” so much time, as she describes it.

“I’m telling you, she wasn’t worth it” You try to comfort her. But the amount of times she has told you about her break up within the last week is uncountable, and you can’t think of any good responses anymore.

“Yeah, I know” Ellie rolls her eyes at your answer and groans, throwing her head back.

“It could’ve been worse though. Like, you could’ve been together for a year or something” You try again but it doesn’t seem to work well and Ellie sighs.

“Two months is a long period of time anyways. You don’t understand, you’ve never had a girlfriend” She whines, throwing herself next to you on your bed.

“Hey!” You throw a pillow at her. “I still have time” 

“Okay, okay” She puts her hands up in a defensive gesture. She’s making fun of your lack of romantic relations whenever she can. “But you can do like, a lot of things in two months in a relationship“

“A lot of things? Like..?” You look at her, curiosity in your eyes as a thought occurs in your mind “Like… have you done the deed?”

“What? No! Ew, don’t say it like that” Another groan escapes Ellies’ lips and she hides her face in hands. “We just… Kissed. A lot. Unlike you” She smirks as she finds another reason to make fun of you.

You don’t say anything because you know it’s true. Yeah, you haven’t kissed anyone yet. It’s not like you didn’t want to, you just… Never had a chance.

“Actually, why have you never kissed?” She turns right to face you. There is no malice in her voice, just pure curiosity.

You drop your gaze down “I don’t know I just… I haven’t had a good opportunity, I guess?”

“Bullshit. If you wanted to do it, you’ve already done it. Seriously, with that pretty face of yours?” She jokingly strokes your cheek

Your gaze is still running away from Ellie’s inquisitive irises. Suddenly, it feels like the temperature just increased by another 32 degrees.

“I guess I am just too nervous to do it. I have, like, no idea how to kiss” You admit

A chuck escapes Ellie’s lips “Sorry, shouldn’t be laughing but it sounds ridiculous. You’ve never kissed because you don’t know how? Yet you don’t even want to try” Ellie really tries not to laugh but can’t help a giggle which she tries to cover with a cough

“It’s just not that easy as it sounds. Not for me” Though she is laughing, you don’t feel amused. You realized it’s true, you’re actually scared to kiss.

“Listen, I’m really sorry” The girl says when she sees your serious expression. Ellie puts her hand on your arm “What if someone… showed you?” Her lips curl into a playful smile

I finally let my gaze meet your eyes “Like a movie?” You awkwardly chuckle, trying not to jump to any conclusions.

“No dumbass, like a person would actually… teach you. Would that make you less nervous?” Ellie suddenly sounds kind and now it’s her gaze that runs away from your eyes.

I gulp. It’s obvious what Ellie means now “Like… you want to kiss me?” You ask, a ray of hope creeping into your voice

“No, I, uh. I don’t necessarily want to, I just want to be a good friend and help you out” She sounds so nervous all of a sudden.

“Well, yeah sure, you can steal my first kiss” I say sarcastically, but to be honest you actually want her to help me out.

“Alright, come here” Ellie’s confident again, she pats a space on your bed in front of her, inviting you to sit closer.

You take a deep breath as you change your position, fake yawning to check for bad breath hoping Ellie didn’t notice that. But she did.

“I don’t care about your breath, really” She chuckles again but it doesn’t sound annoying. Not anymore.

“It's not like I thought you would, I know you won't judge me and-” I start mumbling because of the nerves “fuck I don’t even know what I’m saying” I admit with a sigh and an awkward smile.

“Are you nervous, flower?” She brings her hands to your cheeks and gently strokes them and you feel dizzy as if the blood left your whole brain, but in reality it’s quite the opposite. A blush creeps on your cheeks. Ellie has never called you a name like that before.

“I promise it will feel nice” Your best friend half-whispers and you feel like the whole world is spinning. You must have a real stupid look on your face but you don’t even care at this moment.

“So,” she starts “It’s all about what you do before the kiss” She puts her hands down and looks you into the eyes. Then her gaze lands on your mouth and your eyes again.

“You should look them into the eyes, at their lips, and into the eyes again.” She bites her lip “Extra points if you do that.” You are so lost in this moment you don’t really listen to her anymore. You can smell her cologne and shower gel. You can feel how hard your heart is pumping, too.

“And if you’re bold enough” She stops to bring her hand to your ear and she tucks a strand of hair behind it “You can do this. Trust me, it works” But you’re a living proof it works, as well as the damp spot on your underwear is.

“So? Are you ready?”

At first, you forget words in your throat. You clear it, and answer, your voice just a whisper “...Yeah”

She puts her hands on your cheeks once again and pulls you closer. You watch as she closes her eyes, so you do the same. And then you feel her lips on yours. It doesn’t feel like you imagined, it’s wet and slippery. But she was right, it feels really nice. She sucks gently on your lower lip, tilting her head, so you do the same to her upper lip. You feel so many things at once, yet you feel numb at the same time. Butterflies in your stomach going crazy, the smell of her warm skin, soft lips against yours, confident fingers holding your cheeks, her saliva mixing with yours, throbbing between your legs. The only sound in the room is this wet kissing sound you are making and your heartbeat. And, did you hear that right, a whimper from Ellie? The kiss lasted about five seconds, but it felt like eternity to you. 

Ellie pulls away from the kiss. She keeps her hands on your face and you already miss her soft lips.

“So? How did your first kiss feel?” That’s all she says as if nothing has happened. As if she didn’t just kiss her best friend for the first time.

You touch your lips with your fingers, like you are checking if it actually happened. You are speechless at first, but finally manage to say something, it doesn’t even make sense. “Wow.. It was.. thanks Ellie”

“What?” She furrows her eyebrows with a smirk on her lips. “Um, you want advice? Another try? Anything?” She suggests, slightly amused by your reaction

“Yeah, right, advice or kiss me again or something” You start mumbling again

“I would say… Just don’t tilt your head so much. And don’t stress, princess.” She does it again, calls you a name that makes your face red “But to be honest, it was adorable how nervous you were.”

You finally regain your attitude but your voice is still low. You roll your eyes at her “So… Can you kiss me again?”

pics credits on pinterest: ambar, vic

[spade-riddles]

"She's a crook who was caught" isn't even difficult, anon. Taylor and her lover are both cowboys and con artists, "telling the rich folks anything they want to hear". But behind the lies is their true love, which they would do anything to protect. "Forever is the sweetest con."

Karlie is "a crook who was caught" because she got "caught" or trapped in the con. Karlie's beard seemed like the safe choice initially. I don't think Karlie or Taylor realized how toxic that association would become, when they decided to go down the lavender marriage route to protect their relationship. They wanted certain things the lavender marriage could give them cover for, and Karlie paid the price for that.

Also, jumping on the Karlie hate wagon because of this lyric is truly mind boggling, when you consider how many times Taylor refers to HERSELF as a criminal, in her own body of work. Cowboy Like Me we've talked about, but Fresh Out The Slammer? "I did my time"? Marking the end of the Toe relationship, which Taylor introduced to us with the lyrics, "He can be my jailer" years before?

Who gets jailed? What type of person? What is Taylor saying about herself with that line? Criminality = bearding in Taylor's world.

She keeps using this as a metaphor. How about the entire conceit of Getaway Car? Who drives away in a getaway car with a bag of money, being chased by sirens? A criminal. Who flees to Florida waiting for the "heat" to die down, because outlasting scandal is the only way to "beat the charges"? A criminal. Who has a boating license and knows "how to cover up a scene"? A criminal. Who "masterminds" and does "vigilante shit"? Who sinks men's bodies into the swamp???

If "she's a crook who was caught" is such a Kaylor kill shot, then Taylor should probably stop writing songs that cast her as a criminal too.

The fact is, Taylor isn't casting judgement on Karlie with that line. She's lamenting the loss of what they had together. She's SAD her fellow crook was caught, not angry at her. She wishes she could go back to a time when the whole world thought Karlie was just "a twin from [her] dreams". Aka when they could glass closet together. Now the truth about Karlie - that she's "not what she seems", aka, not any of the things the PR narratives claim she is these days - can only be shared in whispers. The true story of who Karlie is and what she sacrificed for Taylor, can only be hinted and whispered at. And in the meantime, Taylor has to "go". To move forward without Karlie.

I don't see "you know when it's time to go" as a final goodbye, but a "goodbye for now" representing how Taylor can't stay stuck and wait out Karlie's sentence, without making PR moves of her own. She has to beard as well. She has to appear to move on too. Go on with the show. Even if she hates it, it's time to suck it up and leave behind her fantasies of how it all should have been. The simplistic interpretation is "they broke up", but so much evidence defies that, that it seems obvious to me the song is in fact a metaphor for Kaylor's pretend estrangement.

If Karlie had genuinely wronged Taylor, then lyrics like "soldier down . . . looked up at me with honor and truth" or "put you in jail for something you didn't do" or "your integrity makes me seem small, it's like I'm wasting your honor" would be pretty confusing. Unless we're talking about an honorable person whose only "crime" is bearding. To protect Taylor. Then it all fits just fine.

[askthehcc]

To the Hcc I was wondering who all is a part of the LGBT+ community?

Cleo: I’m pan and non-binary, pretty sure Bdubs is aromantic, but he wouldn’t know the word for it.

Impulse: I’m also aro and I’m pretty sure Mumbo is ace.

Cleo: False is Bi, but isn’t really into relationships, at least for now.

Impulse: Again, I’m not certain, but I think Tango might be grey-romantic.

Cleo: That’s a point, I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen him show interest in anyone…

Impulse: Me neither, which is why I think he might be Grey.

Cleo: but not totally Aro?

Impulse: … no comment?

Impulse: I’m pretty sure he’s also *somewhere* on the ace spectrum.

Cleo: Don’t just brush over that, Impulse!

Impulse: Let’s see who else… Oh, Zed wouldn’t care what pronouns you use, but he’s not really ever labelled himself, so I guess I’d just go with vaguely gender queer for him… Maybe even agender?

Cleo: What do you know about Tango, Impulse?

Impulse: Anyway, I really should be getting back on shift.

Cleo: Oh my god, does Tango have a crush?

Cleo: Impulse, come back and talk to me!

---

Scar: You know, I’ve never really thought about it? I suppose I’d consider myself Pan?

Tango: Hesitation?

Scar: [shrugs]

Scar: I’ve never really been that interested in anyone.

Tango: Apart from that girl in college. Remember in second year?

Scar: [sighs] Yeah… Bonita.

Tango: She didn’t speak English, dude.

Scar: But you did a great job at translating from Blaze!

Tango: And then you asked me to go on a date with you and she slapped you!

Scar: It was your fault for mistranslating! I meant for you to come with us on a date and translating!

Tango: Scar, my man, you asked her for a three–

Scar: I meant as a date with you translating!

—-

Zedaph: You knew exactly what he meant, didn’t you?

Tango: Yeah, of course. I’m fluent in Blaze and Scar. I just didn’t want to spend my entire second year translating for them.

Zedaph: Have I mentioned how much I love you?

Tango: Uh, yeah dude. We had that whole confusion in second year, remem–

Zedaph: I meant platonically!

---

Joel: I'm gluten free.

Lizzie: That's not what the G stands for, Joel.

Scott: Yeah, you're not queer because you can't process gluten, Joel.

Joel: Yeah and I'm not proud about it either.

Joel: Bloody hate stupid wheat!

---

Lizzie: [Looks around]

Lizzie: Keep this between us, yeah?

Lizzie: Grian came out to me about ten years ago, after we tried kissing with each other when we were like, fourteen.

Lizzie: He kissed me and pulled such a face afterwards and I was so offended, so obviously I kicked right off about it, of course, and then he said that it's had nothing to do with me.

Lizzie: And that's when he told me that he was actually gay.

Lizzie: He seemed really embarrassed about it and I don't think he's ever openly spoke about it since. I don't even know if he's mentioned it to Jimmy.

Lizzie: But I did have this little bracelet making phase and I didn't want him to make him a rainbow bracelet cause it felt too obvious, so I looked up the flag for gay men and made him a blue and white one instead.

Lizzie: He wore it for a good couple years after, too.

Lizzie: To be honest, Scott might know, cause he's pretty brushed up on these things, so he probably recognised it.

Lizzie: But yeah, he won't talk about it and I'm not sure how proud he is exactly, but... you know what?

Lizzie: I'm proud of him.

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[godsfavoritescientist]

Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.

[goodobservationshirley]

As you saved [my life]. Our scales are balanced. No. No, you’ve done far more than that for me. I’d all but given up. But you, you believed in me. You saw strength in me. You pushed me to heights that no one else could have.

[icewindandboringhorror]

examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk