#which me being who i am i should be able to finish that in 1-3 days

[achilleslyre]

i am SO close to finishing naruto classic and i don’t know WHY this last stretch of episodes has been so difficult to finish watching. i watched the beginning suuuper fast and i couldnt wait till i had time to keep watching but ever since about episode 160ishhh it’s been taking so longggg to get thru and i can barely sit down to watch more than one or two episodes

[oval3000]

Chapter 4

Yandere Teacher Nanami x Student Reader

Warning: Abuse, smut. Abduction, violence, rough play, toxic behavior, age gap, everything from all above. Mainly from his point of view...somewhat... modern au- ish idk. College teacher x student.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

-------------------------------------------------------

Soft music was playing in the background as he spread the condiments onto the fresh, crispy, bread. He felt his body feeling the rhythm of the sweet melody that was playing at the record player. He placed the rest of the ingredients, placing the finished sandwiches onto a white plate. He placed the plates on the other side of the small kitchen table that was in the corner of the room. Don't worry though, there's a dining room so you and him can have family dinner nights with your many future children. He opened the fridge and got out the glass pitcher of orange juice as well as two glass cups that were on the cupboard. He placed the cups on the side of the plate and poured the freshly squeezed orange juice into the clear, glass cups.

He went over to the living room where the record player was sitting perfectly in a cubical section of the large bookshelf that was against the wall, moving the needle off the vinyl record. He walked up the staircase, and he could hear you ruffling around on the bed. He wasn't concerned about your movements around the bed, the rope wasn't long enough for you to leave the premises. He opened the door and saw how you immediately stopped and curled yourself into a ball. He walked closer to you which made you squeamish. He took your wrist and quickly untied the rope. "please don't hurt me." Nanami didn't reply, he pulled your body off the bed to make you land on your feet.

He still had a strong grip on your arms and body that made you unable to run off. He led you to the kitchen where the kitchen table was. He sat you down on the chair and pointed at the food, "Your lunch is ready." He walked over to his seat and sat down.

You couldn't move out of your seat, not because you weren't able to, but because you were a bit too scared. To be quite fair, even if you did get up and make a run for it, he could easily catch you since your back was facing the wall. Nanami kept you caged in. You saw that he was already half done with his sandwich, taking a few sips of his juice. "Are you gonna hurt me?" He looked up at you, chewing the piece of sandwich in his mouth, still not saying anything. You gently picked up your sandwich, taking a small bite from it chewing and swallowing it quickly. "A-are you going to kill me?" He took another sip of his orange juice to wash down the food. He was about to take another bite of his lunch when he heard you say, "Why am I here?" you felt shivers going down your body with the way he stared at you. He was your teacher. Someone who helped you when you were having difficulty understanding an assignment. He was someone that you should've trusted right? Someone whom you so foolishly trusted. Now you're in a place where he keeps you tied up to a bed. You know it's only been two days since you have been here, but you know you'll soon lose track depending on how long you might be here. You don't know exactly why you are here. You kept asking him but all he replied with was "This is your new home." When you ask about your safety, he replies with "I'm not gonna hurt you." however, should you really trust someone who is keeping you captive. It still doesn't answer your questions.

Before he could take another bite he reassures you with, "If I was going to kill you then I would've done it already. Eat your lunch."

You did just that. You don't know if your teacher was a serial killer all along who is psychotic and tortures his victims. You don't know if you are ever going to see the light of day ever again. Just the thought of it made your tears start flowing. You didn't want to cry. You wanted to stay strong. Just not knowing and being kept in the dark, scares you. You covered your mouth trying to conceal the low sob you couldn't keep in. Nanami got up from his seat and went towards you. "I'm-I'm..sorry," you cried out. He kneeled down to your level placing his right hand on your back while his other hand grabbed your cheek and made you turn to him. You uncovered your mouth taking deep breaths to calm yourself.

He wiped away the tears with his thumb, "I'm not going to hurt you. That's the last thing I want to do." He leaned closer to you, "You're beautiful and perfect. You are perfect for me."

Your heart felt like it stopped. You felt like an elephant was sitting on your chest. Everything wasn't clear for you to listen to, for you to see. You felt your head feeling light. "You're gonna.....ra......rap-"

You didn't finish the sentence when you saw his head turn away in a sharp turn and heard his low scoff. "That's what you think of me?" He straightened himself up making a hard fist. "I would never do that to you. Not like that at least. I want our first time to be special. "He sat back to his seat. He sighed, rolling his eyes, "If you don't want me to hurt you then don't give me a reason. And just to let you know, escaping is one of them, not listening to me is another. Now finish your food."

You took more deep breaths before continuing to eat the sandwich he prepared for you. Once you were finished, he took you back to the bedroom and tied you up again. He fixed his tie and hair, putting on his specs. "I'm going back to work." He checked his watch and raised an eyebrow, "Might be 10 minutes late before my next class. I'll be back for dinner. What do you want so I can pick it up."

You sat there with your knees to your chest. 'What do you want?' as if it was a nothing question. 'Dinner?' the second time you spend dinner time with him. "uh....mm...pa-pasta?"

"Pasta?" He looked at you as you nodded. "Okay. Pasta it is."

He walked out of the room closing the door and that was the end of that. He doesn't tell you anything else like your friends or relatives. He still doesn't let you roam around the house freely, which wasn't shocking. So you just sat there for hours waiting for him to come home. Even though he keeps tied up, he's the only other human interaction that you get. Still not knowing what's going to happen to him. Human isolation might just drive a person crazy. You could ask for something so you wouldn't be so bored. Maybe some books, or a sketchbook, maybe he could let you watch some TV or give you some puzzle games so at least your mind is being occupied.

You aren't sure if your family is even looking for you or if anyone even noticed you have gone missing. Were they ever going to find you? Are you ever going to leave this place? Is this where you're going to live for the rest of your life? Is your teacher a complete psychopath who kills people? Are you his next victim? Or what he says is true? Is he not going to hurt you? Only time will tell for you. Of course for Nanami, he knows your fate. So, yes you're going to live here for the rest of your life. As for the rest of the questions; who knows?"

You reached over the nightstand by your side and opened the little drawer only to find nothing. You opened it before, you guess you kinda hoped that there was something there for you to do. The light bulb of the fan ceiling was shining throughout the room. The barricaded window prohibited light from going through, so you aren't sure if it's cloudy or sunny. The only thing you can tell time is the clock on top of the dresser and Nanami's work schedule. You know Monday, Tuesday, and Friday, he has four classes, and on Wednesday, and Thursday, he would only have three classes to teach. On the days he would have four classes, his first class would start at 8:00 am. His second one was in fact the 10:00 am class, the same class you were in. His third class would be at 1:00pm and his last class would be at 5:00pm. He would come home at 6:30. The days he would have three classes, his first class would also start at 8:00am. His second class would start at 10:30 am. His last class would start at 2:00pm. However, he would come home at 5:00pm due to him staying a bit late so he could help students who might need help. He has mentioned to you that he might just come home after his last class since no one comes in so you don't have to be alone all day.

He also mentioned how he will change his class time the next semester so he could come home early to you. Nanami being the only person that you could listen to and talk to makes him the only source of entertainment for you, so knowing all this makes sense for you.

You lay down on the bed closed your eyes, covering your face with the blanket to shield you from the bright light. You didn't know how long you'd been asleep, but it was long enough that you heard the door open and close.

You could hear his footsteps you could hear that he had come home already. He opened the door and went to untie you. He. once again, lifted you up by grabbing the side of your arms and pulling you off the bed. He pretty much dragged you to the kitchen, either way, it's not like you have any freedom to move wherever you feel like it. He sat you back down on the chair from the square, light brown, kitchen table. He moved the bowl, that had pasta, closer to you. He went over to grab two clear, glass cups and poured ice and cold water. He gave you the black plastic fork that came with the food while he had the silverware.

You didn't ask any more questions. You didn't hesitate to eat the food. You simply sat there and had dinner with your teacher; with the person who is keeping you captive in a nice, cozy home.

He poured himself some wine into his wine glass, taking a sip. "I missed you today. During class when you weren't there" That's right, it's Friday, you were supposed to be in his class today. You were supposed to be in school today before lunch. 'If it was high school, would it notify anyone that you weren't there' you thought. "But then I realized that I have you here, so really I get excited to come here." He took a bite from his food, swallowing it. "I'll eventually have family pictures of us on my desk or wallet so I can stare at them. You know and have a family portrait of us and our kids."

kids? He wants to have kids with you. You placed your hand on your tummy, trying to really process what had said. You never thought about having kids, you're too young. You still have a life to accomplish, having kids was not on your mind. He wants to have kids with you. That changes everything. Does he want kids now? You'll have to go through painful childbirth. You'll have to put your body through something that you hear horror stories about from other women who experienced it.

"Of course, we'll have kids when you're ready. When we're ready. I don't want to have kids now when my schedule isn't exactly consistent, but once I change that then we can try. Once you're ready then we can try to have multiple children." He continued eating his food so nonchalantly. " I want to have four kids in total. I always wanted a sibling growing up and I think it'll be nice for our kids to have siblings as well. I won't rush you to give birth to all four quickly. Childbirth can be hard especially for someone to recover." He picked up the last few pieces of pasta with his fork, " finish your food so I can give you a bath."

Bath? you're gonna be naked and he's going to bathe you. You finished your last bite, drinking the cold water. He's going to give you a bath? Is he going to ask you to strip? Or is he going to strip you himself? He did say that he won't force anything on you, so you shouldn't have to worry right?

He got up and dragged you back to the bedroom upstairs. He shut the door and went to the bathroom while he held your wrists together. He towards the tub and turned it on. You felt your heart rate going up. You felt nervous. "I can bathe myself." you huffed out.

He looked back at you, "I know you can." He checked the temp of the water, letting the water fill up the bathtub. He stood in front of you holding to your waist, keeping you still for a moment. He reached over and started to pull down your shorts. You felt the shorts falling and landing on your feet. Your eyes widened and your breath began to be uncontrollable. He reached to the bottom of your top and started to pull them up, but you quickly crossed your arms making him stop. "I can do it myself. I can bathe myself." He stopped and then released your top from his fingertips. He moved to the side walking to be behind you. You felt his chest on your back, "Please I can do it. I'll feel a lot better if I do it. Please, Nanami."

"Say 'Kento'" He whispered in your ear. It sent a shiver down your spine.

"Kento." You said back to him.

"From now on call me Kento. It's my first name." He said, taking a few steps back. He leaned back on the bathroom door. "Now strip."

"I don't need someone to watch me." You turned your head to look at him as he crossed his arms staring back at you.

"No, sweetheart. You can bathe yourself, but I'm not leaving you alone. So either strip and bathe yourself while I stand here and watch or I go and do it myself."

You turned your head back around and started to lift your top off. You went down and pulled your panties off. The thought of how he can see your bare ass made you feel weird. You went on and unhooked your bra. You let the bra strands fall down from your shoulders. You quickly slid in your one hand over your breast to cover them. You were completely naked in front of Nanami. He could feel his crotch area getting tight and hard. This was torture for him. It was torture for you. You carefully took a step inside the tub with lukewarm water, getting more comfortable. You eventually sat down in the middle of the bathtub. Your back still turned to him. Even though you barely had any room to move around, you tried your best not to turn around. Nanami's eyes wandered else in the bathroom to calm his area down. You quickly washed your hair with the nice scented shampoo and washed your body with the body wash cloth.

When all the soap left your body you knew it was time to get out. "I'm done, Kento."

Nanami turned his gaze back to you. He pulled the towel from the hook that was installed on the bathroom wall. He walked up to you with the towel extended to his arm's length." Get up."

When you stood up, you felt his arm embrace around you covering you with the soft, dry towel. You got out of the tub, feeling the towel land on your wet legs. He dragged you back to the room where he pointed to the folded clothes that were resting on top of the little stool in front of the armrest chair, "Change into your pajamas." You felt his grip letting go. You quickly dried yourself with the towel he gave you before putting on the set of pajamas and undergarments. When you finished you finally turned to him and faced him. He moved to the side to reveal the white vanity. " There is a hair blow dryer for you to use." You sat down on the chair that matched the vanity and grabbed the blowdryer that was being plugged in by Nanami. Mist while you were drying your hair, you could hear Nanami's belt buckle drop on the floor. You knew that he was stripping behind you. He removed his tie and started to unbutton his blue dress shirt. You looked at the mirror in front of you and saw Nanami exposed. You saw all of his muscles clearly. You already knew that he was fit so seeing his muscles was something else. He went and put on some grey sweatpants and waited for you to finish drying your hair.

When you finished, you got up from the chair as Nanami took your hand and placed you back on the bed. He tied your hands and pulled the blankets over you and him. You lay on your side as you felt his arm wrapping around your torso, pulling you closer to him.

You could tell that he had already fallen asleep. It took a while for you to do so as well. Your mind kept wondering about all those questions you had.

Are you ever leaving here?

His strong hand kept you in tight.

Is this your new life?

His chin rested on top of your head.

Did you regret walking to his class that day?

You could hear his light snores.

You're never leaving.

This is your new life.

Just accept it already.

@black-swan-blog27

@zeniiis

[whorety-k]

Ebony Coasts [Part 6]

I'm sorry this took so long!! Between my busy life and wanting a quick change up so I could practice to make this chapter better, I definitely took my sweet time on this chapter. It's another long one but it was genuinely fun and I hope you all think the same. Thank you for your patience!!!

Pairing: Merfolk!Corvus Corax x fem!Marine Conservationist!Reader (second person POV)

Song recommendation: Witchcraft - Graveyard Club “It’s midnight on Main Street / and this town’s all asleep / But you’re still here with me / and I know that / Darling your love's like witchcraft.”

Warnings: Ocean mentions / potential thalassophobia, culture shock and misunderstanding between species, food, using the word chips instead of crisps because author is American, fluff

Word Count: 4.5k I AM SO SORRY

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 7 (NSFW)]

Waking up three hours later, sticky and crusted with salt was a lot less comfortable than the dreamy atmosphere you had drifted off to sleep in. Corvus was reluctant to let you leave to go home and change, but he recognized that there was no feasible way for you to clean yourself up while you were in his den; the salt water would have wedged sand into more unsavory places. You promised him it would only be thirty minutes to an hour before you would return and, after explaining what an hour was, he relinquished his protests and encouraged you to be safe. You leaned up on your tip-toes for a kiss goodbye, which the mer bashfully gave. 

The soothing stream of warm water coursing down your back makes you wonder just how difficult it would be to install a shower within Corvus’s cavern, before kicking yourself for the thought of modernizing any part of the beach that you’re technically supposed to be protecting. The thought of being able to live more readily with Corvus has your brain misbehaving. You hop out of the shower and towel off, changing into a significantly-less-saline outfit than you had been in previously. 

Before leaving your apartment, your eyes stray to the dusty picnic basket beneath your desk. For years, the woven wicker has sat unused and taunting you, waiting for its opportunity to see the light of day. The lack of luck in relationships previously had halted any usage of the item, but perhaps today was the day it finally saw usage. You grab the basket. 

But what to bring on a picnic with a literal merman? What does a giant fish-person like? You realize you have no idea where to start with him, so when you stop by your pantry you toss two random junk foods inside. Oreos and potato chips. Perfect. It still doesn’t feel like enough though, and you quickly check the time. You still have another fifteen or so minutes to make it back to the coast before Corvus should start to worry. On a whim, you toss the picnic basket on the passenger seat of your car and speed over to the only grocery store between your apartment and the coast.

You’re just as clueless and indecisive as you were at home, but now you were clueless and indecisive with options. The lady behind the meat counter gives you an uncertain look the longer you stare at the identical cuts of salmon. 

“If you’re struggling, the Alaskan wild-caught is a better–”

“-Thank you!” You don’t even let her finish before you’re throwing three filets into the shopping cart then speeding off, completely missing the stunned look she throws your way. You barely make sure to wrap them enough to hide the fishy smell.

In the checkout lane, you give in to the crow brain and grab a random rainbow bag of sour candy from the hanging, as well as a pack of four chocolate strawberries from a vendor outside of the store. Are mermen able to eat chocolate? Is it like a dog and cat scenario? You’ve never tried giving a chocolate bar to a fish. Wasn’t there someone who fed their fish Kitkats and it survived? Well, if he can’t have it, it’s just more for you. 

You slam the door to the Bronco and gun it for the beach when you arrive. With the picnic basket and a large blanket in hand, it’s not particularly feasible to make it down the cliff face, so you take the long way around. It’s only just been an hour, so hopefully–

A milk white limb wraps around your midsection and lifts you from the ground, causing you to drop your freight in the commotion. Corvus holds you like a kitten, a look of concern plain in his voidish eyes as he intently studies your body.

“You are not injured? It has been greater than an hour. Has something occurred?” He inquires, gently lifting and turning you as he looks you over.

You shake off the shock of being startled, simultaneously chuckling at the doting behavior and irritated with having been snuck up on again. “I’m fine,” you say, prompting the anxious mer to stop twisting you from side to side. Corvus relaxes and lowers you gently back to the sand. Once back on solid ground, you look down at your watch. An involuntary sigh leaves your lungs.

“Corvus.”

“Yes?”

“It has been an hour and three minutes.”

“Yes.”

“This? Over three minutes?” 

The merman nods his head, that stoic expression never once faltering. “I worried for your well being.”

Realizing that pressing the matter will get you nowhere, you decide to find the action endearing. When you step to the side to pick up your fallen items, Corvus quickly beats you to it, relinquishing you of the blanket and grabbing the picnic basket before you even have the chance to turn around. It looks comically small in his large hands, cupped like a ball. 

“Are we returning to the den?” Corvus asks, readying himself to head that direction. He slides past you, shielding you from the focused rays of the looming sunset. 

“That depends,” you start, placing a hand on one of his ebony side fins. The giant stops, twitching from the contact. “How do you feel about trying some human foods?”

Corvus stops, glancing down at you before his attention turns to the basket in his hand. He lifts it to his nose and sniffs at it, and you resist cooing at how cute his ear fins look when they subtly perk up. “I am not opposed to it, however…” His head turns to the horizon, looking out over the waves. 

The setting sun casts the sky in a brilliant red, leftover clouds from the earlier storm reflecting the light in a kaleidoscope of pinks, oranges, and yellows. The charcoal rocks of the cliffside bleed into sandstone, cast coral in the dying glow. Lava flows of sand quench in the dusky ocean waves.

“It’s perfect,” you interrupt, grabbing the blanket from his clawed hand. Corvus turns back as you march to the embankment and set up the massive blanket. He watches happily (for someone so usually reserved) as you buzz around like a bee, trying your hardest to get it flat on the sand. Mercifully, the giant holds a corner steady to help you lay out the swath of cloth. When you come back for the picnic basket, he already has it lowered to your level for easy access. 

“Get on,” you say, patting the blanket and folding your arms to wait. Corvus spares you a final glance before he carefully slides his way onto the cover, the translucent black fins of his magnificent tail reflecting the threads beneath them. He rests his back against a smooth face of the cliffside and hums his contentment. Enthusiasm at the mer’s comfort thrums through your veins.

Unfortunately, the blanket that’s normally so large on you is nothing compared to the large fins of the black mer. There’s no room for you to sit with him, so you start to kick a clearing beside him for you to sit beside him instead. “I didn’t have a blanket larger than this, so–” 

“Would you like to sit on my tail?” Corvus extends a hand towards you, offering you a way to climb up onto him. He adjusts to create a flatter surface.

The marine biologist in you screams ‘I thought you would never offer!’, but the polite person in you wins and instead asks, “Are you sure?” Corvus bows his head and calmly helps you clamber up onto his tail, holding the picnic basket in one hand as he steadies you with the other. He’s cautious to set you low on his lap, below the fins that adorn his waist. You resist touching them, lest you get (literally or figuratively) thrown off of the tail you were just allowed to sit on.

You reach for the picnic basket and Corvus places it before you, allowing you to trifle through it. Strategically, you keep the salmon hidden in the cold compartment at the bottom beneath some ice, drawing out the bag of oreos. A gentle hand rests upon your thigh as the mer watches.

“So these are called Oreos,” you explain, holding one up for Corvus to see, “They’re sandwich cookies with cream in the center.”

Corvus nods as if he understands and scents the item, before opening his mouth to take it. He wants you to feed him you realize, and you carefully place the cookie on his tongue, avoiding his sharp teeth. The cookie is gone with a few crunches. You use the moment to take an oreo for yourself: sweet filling and crunchy cocoa, just as you remember. 

The mer isn’t as receptive, nose minutely scrunching as he swallows. You laugh at the face he makes. “Are all humans so fond of sweetened chemicals?” Corvus asks, clearing his throat. 

“Some. Not everyone’s a fan,” you reply.

Corvus nods, thinking for a moment. The dwindling light of the dusk has come to a near end, pale moonlight glittering over his visage as his head bows near to yours. Eventually, the mer comes to a conclusion, “The ‘cookie’ half was fine, but I did not enjoy the filling.”

“You’d be surprised how many people agree with you on that,” you note, lean forward to place a kiss on his cheek—

Corvus places a hand over your mouth as he abruptly perks up, stilling completely. His head snaps to the side, eyes glaring in one direction: the rocks in the shallows. You feel the brush of soft flesh before his tail completely blocks your view.

“Is everything okay?” you whisper into his hand, trying to lean around it.

He doesn’t let you. “We are being watched,” Corvus deadpans, eyes fixed on the same invisible spot in the distance. He doesn’t comment further, but his hand moves to your back to curl around you protectively.

The lack of reaction from Corvus and the uncertainty of the situation sets your mind racing. Watched? Watched by what? By who? Are there other humans nearby, looking upon the merman with uncertain eyes, calling the authorities? Your heart begins to palpate in your chest, thumping against your ribcage like a drum. Something’s going to happen to Corvus and it’s going to be entirely your fault, having gotten the mer comfortable with your presence and having him sit out in the open like this. Corvus is going to lose his freedom and his blood is going to be on your hands—

“At ease, little gem,” Corvus calls to you, stroking a soft knuckle down your spine, “You are in no danger.” You snap up to look at him, seeing his midnight eyes now peering down at you. You take a deep breath, and the pounding in your chest slowly begins to steady. 

Corvus’s eyes turn back to the shoreline, a swish of his feathery bangs revealing just how furrowed his eyebrows are. He looks disappointed, and you wait for an explanation. With a sigh, he offers, “It is nothing more than someone not knowing that I would prefer privacy.”

A slight droop in his tail allows you to finally see into the partially-illuminated waters. You strain your eyes to find whatever Corvus has been staring at, looking between jagged rocks and soft swells, but absolutely nothing reveals itself to you. Confused, you ask, “Where are you looking?” Corvus doesn’t answer, but eventually you take the hint to follow his eyes to another rock. Still, you see nothing.

The giant startles you by calling something out loudly in a language you do not understand, but finally you notice what he’s been staring at. What you had been fully convinced was just a normal rock lifts itself from the water, revealing a wall of black metal before removing a beak-like helmet. Pale skin begins to reflect the moon’s rays back at you, framed by a mop of black hair straight out of 2005’s top emo bands. As it approaches, you’re surprised to see that it looks strikingly similar to Corvus himself: a large frame with a betta-like tail that’s a tad more narrow, but still visibly powerful. This mer is shorter than Corvus by a substantial amount, but still definitely much larger than you are.

It– He, you believe, converses with Corvus in that unfamiliar tongue the entire time he comes closer, awkwardly dragging himself forward in sand until he’s within a few feet of your blanket. You think Corvus is asking this new mer a few tense questions, based off of the scolding tone of his voice and guilt in the new mer’s eyes, but any communication is lost on you. When Corvus fully lowers his tail, you see the new mer’s eyes widen, but it restrains from any further movement. Corvus finishes whatever conversation he was having and directs his attention back to you eventually with a call of your name.

“This is Shadow Captain Kayvaan Shrike,” he says to you, gesturing a hand in Shrike’s direction. You introduce yourself, unsure if he understands you, and hesitantly reach a hand out towards Shrike for a handshake. He stares at it dumbly, until Corvus mutters something to him in their shared language and Shrike gently takes your hand in his. Incorrectly, just as Corvus had. You’re beginning to notice a trend with the seafolk, and you would call it cute if it wasn’t for the unquestionable strength in the hand over yours.

Corvus directs another inquiry at Shrike, and Shrike takes his hand back to point behind you. Before you can fully turn around, a new voice incredibly near to your head causes you to all but fling yourself off of Corvus’s tail. The giant mer catches you and your picnic basket with a huff, turning his head to address the second newcomer. You follow to see another pale face looking at you inquisitively, standing adjacent to Corvus. He bears similar armor to Shrike, but instead of a shaggy swoop, he wore a slicked-back mohawk. All three merfolk possess the same blacked-out eyes.

“Nykona,” Corvus grunts, before delving into another scolding. ‘Nykona’ doesn’t wear the same kicked-puppy expression Shrike did, instead continuing to observe you in silence. His gaze carries the intensity of someone who has seen and done things in his lifetime that you wouldn’t be able to stomach, sending shivers down your spine. At the end of Corvus’s speech, he gives a simple response and a nod.

Your mer finally turns back to you and directs you towards ‘Nykona’, saying, “And this is Nykona Sharrowkyn, Mor Deythan. Both he and Kayvaan are Astartes.” You have no idea what the second half of that means, but you acknowledge it anyway. You opt to cling to your basket instead of offering a handshake to Nykona, checking the inside contents to make sure they’re alright. Everything appears to be in place.

Nykona and Shrike shift to listen to Corvus speak again, that rhythmic guttural vaguely similar to what it sounds like to list a species’ proper name. You try to make sense of it, but only occasionally do you pick up on names.

The quiet exchange continues on for a fair while longer, before a fantastic idea causes you to jolt upright. Each of the raven-colored merfolk look at you, and you beam at them. 

“Do they want to try some human food?”

Corvus had to set a few ground rules with the Astartes, and he had gently placed you down upon the blanket before explaining that it should only take a short moment. 

It did not, in fact, take a short moment.

Shrike and Nykona seemed to have an interrogation of their own for Corvus, but in the end, you were actually grateful for the opportunity to see how merfolk interacted with each other. Perhaps it was just these individuals, but they were incredibly formal with each other by your human standards. Respectful distances, no yelling, what seemed like actual discussion. You dare say that Corvus was affectionate with them the way a father was with his sons, reassuring any perceived outburst with a hand on the shoulder and gentle words. The two smaller mer even doff their armor, broad in build even without the augments. You avert your gaze respectfully.

Eventually, Corvus seemed content with the state of things and led the two newcomers back over to you. Corvus curls around your back protectively, leaning against the cliff face again. Nykona makes his way to your right, resting his front on the comfortable blanket while his tail remains on the sand. Shrike has no qualms sitting on the blanket directly beside you.

A strongly-accented voice prods about the basket. “So we are eating what’s in there?” Shrike asks, head tilted like a curious dog. 

“Oh! Yes, that’s the plan.” You had no idea whether or not the ‘Astartes’ could understand you, let alone respond to you, so the question comes as a surprise to you. You open the basket, showing him the contents. 

Shrike inspects them, then reaches within to pull out a package: a desaturated baby blue with a potato chip on the cover. The captain sniffs at the bag and is confused when he can’t smell much outside of the plastic. “I have seen these floating in the waves before, but they are not often sealed.”

The sentence makes you frown, and you gesture for him to hand you the bag of chips. “Not every human cares about the ocean the way I do. They’ll eat the contents and leave the trash behind. It’s awful behavior.” You pull the sides of the bag open to reveal the salt-and-vinegar chips within. The acrid smell of vinegar makes all three of the mer recoil with varying intensity when you happily pop a chip in your mouth. 

In an attempt to ease them into the other foods, you withdraw the strawberries. The smell of the sweet chocolate coating catches their attention instantly, and Corvus, despite all of his politeness, doesn’t wait for you. He tears open the clamshell with a gentle claw and plucks one of the large confectionaries for himself. You give him a playful glare before you take your own berry, noticing that a second is already missing. Nykona chomps away at his from the edge of the blanket.

Only Shrike dares to take a chip from the bag, both Corvus and Nykona passing up the offer politely. Each of you watch as the pungent acidity and saltiness causes the Astartes to wince, gills fluttering awkwardly as he breaks into uncomfortable coughs. Shrike spits the chip out into the sand with groan, wiping off his tongue. You place a hand on his shoulder to comfort him through it, and you’re surprised to see it actually seem to ground him. So is he, by the way he gently pushes your hand away. When Shrike is calmed down enough to focus on another food, he reaches for the remaining strawberry– then lets out a short growl. Shrike’s eyes instantly snap over to Nykona.

Nykona, rather contently, chews on Shrike’s allotted berry. He wears a face of perfect nonchalance.

Corvus covers you protectively with a hand as Shrike glares down his fellow Astartes, but you break the tension by offering Kayvaan your berry. He looks down at the strawberry reluctantly, eyes flicking between it and your patient face. Tentatively, Shrike takes the berry and plops it whole into his mouth, and the instant relaxation in his eyes makes giving up your treat worth it. 

You feel a gentle rumbling against your back, and you look up to see the tender expression Corvus casts your way. A careful hand places itself at your shoulders and strokes the muscles there, and you return the soft look. 

Nykona crinkling the rainbow bag of candy pulls you from the moment. “These are sweet too. I can smell it,” he mutters, using a claw to open the larger bag and spill out the individually wrapped pieces within. 

Warheads. You had bought Warheads. You may have loved Warheads, but you seriously doubt they would given the collective reaction to the salt-and-vinegar chips. 

Nykona picks up one of the packaged candies and makes an unreadable face, with Shrike following suit. You take one for yourself and Corvus, offering it up to your betta. 

“These are called Warheads. They’re sour candy, so they’re not really for everyone, but I like them.” After your brief explanation, you show each of the boys how to open the packaging and plop the hard candy into your mouth. The instant burn on your tongue causes you to shiver, but after a bit of intense salivation, it quickly gives way to the sweet candy underneath. 

The hesitation on each of their faces is clear, but after Corvus places the candy in his mouth, the Astartes follow suit. 

You’re surprised to see each of the merfolk maintaining a straight face. Honestly, you had expected each of them to absolutely hate the taste. Hell, most humans hated the taste of warheads because of the extreme burn of sour each of them packed. It was a pleasant surprise to know that Corvus and his… pod(?) must enjoy sour candy—

A shuddering choke to your left catches your attention. Shrike breaks first, letting out an uncomfortable hiss of air and shaking his head, hair covering his face. A groan from your right, and Nykona is removing the warhead from his mouth, dropping the sticky sugar onto the blanket with a less-than-amused look. You only just notice Corvus reach up and take the Warhead off of his tongue, holding it between his claws and frowning at it. 

He looks at you with sad eyes, “That was… unpleasant.”

It’s enough to break you into a fit of hysterics, throwing your head back against Corvus’s tail as your core shakes with laughter. Each breath wheezes out of you uncontrollably, limbs feeling gooey as you sink further and further into the blanket. 

No one else seems as amused.

Once you get yourself mostly under control, you fall forward onto your hands and knees and reach into the basket with unsteady hands. The merfolk watch as you rummage through it and pull out the hidden salmon filets from within. With pride, you present the orange meat towards the sky.

You don’t even see each of them move– you can only feel the air move around you before your hands are completely empty. The tang of fish fills the air from every direction, then the wet sound of teeth ripping into flesh. You could only describe the scene as feral, sharks tearing into unsuspecting seals in an attempt to wash the taste of the warheads out of their mouth. Only to another marine biologist could you describe it as “cute.”

Corvus wipes off his mouth as he finishes, a soft huff of relief leaving his gills. He gives you a pensive look before his hands snake beneath your arms, lifting you up and drawing you close. You hold yourself against him with a hand on his chest as he adjusts his grip to support your weight better, missing the look the giant casts to the other mer. Movement behind you causes you to look over your shoulder, and you’re surprised to see Nykona and Shrike completely clad in their armor once again, Shrike’s white helmet making him easy to identify in the low light. Both Astartes salute Corvus, hands crossed over their chest, before slithering back towards the ocean. You wave at them in goodbye, receiving a nod of acknowledgement as they go.

Corvus bends down to gather your blanket and basket, cradling you to shield you from the change of gravity then starting off in the direction of his den. With Shrike and Nykona gone, a warm silence fills the air. You smile up at your black betta, and he returns it. You glance back towards the water.

You can't help but wonder more about their relationship, and you make it known, “I know their names, but who are they?” 

Corvus trails your glance towards the sea. “Nykona and Kayvaan are my sons.”

His words drop like a bombshell, and you freeze. The thought that Corvus has sons fills you with unease and… jealousy? Sure, you know Corvus has a life outside of yours, and you knew that he had one before you were around, but the thought still does terrible things to your heart.

Corvus can smell the dismay on you, and as soon as you two are within the safety of his cavern, he drops the items he’s carrying. He uses his freed hand to lift your chin, tilting your head to look up at him, “Do not be troubled. They are only my sons in name…”

You find relief in his reassurances, but the way he trails off leads you to feel suspicious once more. You know there’s more he has more to say, and you motion for him to go on. Corvus’s jaw tenses.

“They are made with my genetic material, but I had no hand in making them myself.”

Well that statement causes distinctly more heretical thoughts that you have to force yourself to tamp down. It still doesn’t explain very much, instead replacing your former question with less tasteful ones. With a shake of your head, you admit, “I still don’t understand.”

“It is better that way,” Corvus sighs and continues carrying you all the way into the bedspace, sequestering you both somewhere private. It comforts him to have you completely to himself without anyone to intrude on the moment. 

Perhaps there are better times to be a biologist, you reason as Corvus settles the two of you into the bed of furs, placing you on the un-scaled half of his lap. You look up at him with hearts in your eyes, leaning forward to rest against his cold chest. The sensation of something metal digging into your sternum causes you to sit up, looking down your shirt. You move to shift your raven necklace out of the way so you can lean against Corvus more comfortably, but your hand catches on a second necklace that you don’t remember putting on.

Cautiously, you withdraw the pendant and turn it over it in your hand, examining the teardrop of metal cradling a familiar black pearl. Warmth blooms in your cheeks as you gaze up into Corvus’s eyes.

That handsome face of carved alabaster smiles down at you expectantly.

----------------------------------------

these two pictures had me dying laughing

this is permanently in my search history now because I was also curious

I tried to base Kayvaan Shrike off of pre-heresy, as well as Nykona, but it can be difficult with such little source material so they definitely have aspects of their later personalities.

If you don't want smut, it's perfectly feasible to stop after this chapter!! This story can comfortably conclude here :)

If you do want smut, though, please enjoy:

[Part 7]

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog #40 | 5.1.24 ๋࣭⭑

Happy April (pretend I'm not late on this devlog)!!

April flew by in the blink of an eye. It's been a really busy month for me personally--I'm not sure about you all!

This devlog is going to be structured differently from the past devlogs for two reasons: 1) my concussion is lowkey kicking my ass and 2) I had a release going on almost every week this month because I am a Crazy Person HA!!!!

This month was filled with some kind of release every weekend, which is equal parts exciting and exhausting. Because releases always take a lot out of me, I basically spent every day this month cycling between phases of post-release euphoria, post-release depression, pre-release excitement, recovery burnout, burnout guilt, and just about every emotion in between.

THEN!! I got into an accident about a week ago and have been throwing hands with the resulting concussion since. So it's basically been a crazy month in the Crescence world.

That being said, let's run through the month in chronological order, and every weekend release :crazy eyes & hysterical laughter:

Kayn's Beta Route Out Now!

Kayn's Beta Route has been Finished!

In Extremely Exciting news, Kayn's beta route was finished during the first weekend of this month! I had put off publicly announcing it because I didn't want to clash with the demo release. But it was released quietly to patrons and beta-testers. Feedback so far has been very kind, and if you'd like to get access to Kayn's beta route, you can play it with the Hydra ($10) tier on my Patreon ^^

I will publicly announce the route sometime later. But for now, for those who bother reading my devlogs, here is a treat!

Enhanced Demo Release

Bro we fucking did it

Second weekend of April, we released the ENHANCED DEMO OFFICIALLY!!!! It was so exciting (and nerve-wracking) to be able to finally get this out to the public. Reception has been so nice, and it's been rewarding to see people finally be able to play the enhanced demo and see what I've been working so very hard on these past couple of months. I'm really glad you all liked it and appreciated all the details that I've painstakingly polished <3

I mentioned it before but I was really nervous for the release---I had no idea how it would go. But as always, I could not be more appreciative of the support you all give to little old me. Thank you, and I hope you all like the taste of what is to come in the Alaris world!

If you haven't gotten a chance to play the demo yet, please check it out here!

ALSO..... if five people want to rate the demo and haven't rated it yet...... it would make me very happy....... we are so close to 300 ratings.....

Velox Formida

Yes, I did help make a game in 36 hours.

Adding to the madness, I got sucked into this game jam by beloved and crazy @shewassaying. You have to make a game in 36 hours. It was a crazy whirlwind of an experience, but with people I always love being with. We finished a beautiful fantasy game if anyone would like to check it out!

Are you tired yet? I sure am.

A Faerie's Tale

We aren't done yet gamers

Finally, to round out the marathon, I created the GUI for this beautiful little game that was submitted to Amare Fest (which you should check out, since a lot of other cool games were submitted!). I had the opportunity to work with some extremely talented devs (@steamberrystudio, @jeneara, @windchimesgames, @tuffmallowinteractive, and feniks of OL fame), some of which are like titans in the VN community to me ;_;

The game is an enchanting, short little story (and FREE!) about a Fae. Something I know many of us are suckers for nyeheh. Please feel free to check it out here

That's it... Kinda.

And that's about it for this month! As you can see..... it was very much a back-to-back month. Because of that, I'm trying to use right now as a break (everyone thank my concussion for forcing me to take a break, yippee!).

Some other things that I want to highlight this month:

We released an official trailer for Alaris. She's stunning, and if you haven't seen it yet...... well, what are you waiting for....

intertwine is part of a Palestinian Relief Bundle. For only $8, you can get access to over 300 cracked games and support an important cause. If you haven't donated yet, please consider doing so. We are close to almost half a million dollars raised! Bundle ends in 4 days, so please consider buying if you haven't already

Alaris is part of a small little collaboration/cross-promotion of other magical and mystery otome. If you like sexy games by cracked devs, please check them out at the bottom of my itchio page. Some of the other games include Obscura, Lost in Limbo, The Good People, Save the Villainess, Snow White Ashes, and more! I would link them here, but I'm starting to get a headache teehee.

Anyways, that rounds out this month and a bunch of exciting news! I know it can be overwhelming to look at. Per usual, I never expect anyone to play every single game I am involved with. But if any of them catch your eye, I encourage you to check them out since many of the people I work with are very talented and you never know what new devs/games you'll get introduced to as a result!

See you all next month! <3

[sunsetsandsunshine]

An issue I need to address:

TW: Drama, cussing…yk all that jazz. I apologize that this post is what you all are receiving from me today. But I need to talk about this before it get’s worse.

Okay, I just want to clarify that there should be no hate being sent towards @osctwordfan for this. Hate and hurtful comments will not and cannot fix what has been done. But that does not I am not angry about it. I am mad. I am livid. Only two people on this site has been able to make me this genuinely upset and it’s frustrating that making a PUBLIC POST is the only way to get this person’s attention. 

4 days ago, May 16th, @osctwordfan started following me. Which, I greatley appreciated because HELLO??? Who wouldn’t, right? A new follower is just an awesome feeling to have. So, I checked their blog to see what they liked and we shared SO many similar interests it was almost scary. And I followed back. 

If you know me for a while, you know my whole “Hi new mutual 💝” message I send to my new mutuals. Because 1: I love talking to people and 2: I just want others to feel like they’re welcome. (If you haven’t received one yet it’s either bc you’re a little older than me or idk how to send the message. BUT YOU WILL GET ONE TRUST 💞💓💘💖💝)

And you all know how you can SEE when someone is online? Well, they were online when I texted this. And I got no response. I just assumed it was nervousness or shyness so I didn’t really question it. Until a few minuetes later they reblogged my “You can always ask” fic. 

Which, woo-hoo I guess. But my message was still not answered. But I didn’t think it was THAT deep. 

The next day, May 17th, I noticed they were online. I sent a quick “Hi” again, awaiting a response. About 5 minutes later I was met with one, except it wasn’t the one I was expecting or hoping for. 

It was a request. For a fanfiction. Okay okay cool. Coolio. You…ignore my two messages of me just simply saying a quick “hello” and you don’t answer…instead you ask for a tickle fanfiction of some turtles? 

I get people are shy. I get that. I do. But me and one of my best friends were talking about it on Insta and it made no damn sense. Following, reblogging and requesting things from an individual that’s been trying to speak with you for the past few days and you not responding and then ASKING something of them is just…weird. 

Me and one of my best friend’s convo:

So, on May 18th I saw they were online again, and so I texted the following: 

Which I felt was fine. It was straight to the point. But where my anger really emegred was when I got notifications of my fics being reblogged by the same person. AGAIN. NOT EVEN 3 MINUTES LATER.

And then May 19th they liked another post of mine. Although it was a post that you would have to DIG DEEP FOR. Because I made it a year ago and only 4 people liked it (INCLUDING ME.). So you would have to LOOK LOOK to find it. 

Then yesterday, May 20th, was just my breaking point. I was chilling, having a nice evening, talking with my fellow mutuals, writing a fic (AND FINISHING WOO-HOO) until I get a notification. And guess what? It’s just another reblog by the same person. 

Did I get any responses of my pervious texts? Nope. Not at ALL. 

I am sick and hurt of being treated as if I’m just a computer that makes fanfictions.

I am a PERSON. A human being that for the past week has been trying to talk with you. And you at fucking 16 should understand that. 

You are one whole year older than me and you think you have the right to treat me this way. Who the absolute hell do you think you are? 

Because let me get this through your head: I live in an African and Jamaican  household, and one thing that we let each other know day in and day out is to never ever let someone make you feel like you’re less. 

So when you see this @osctwordfan I am hoping you have a good explanation regarding to last week. 

@ ing mutual’s in this because this is INSANE and I am LIVID rn: 

@itzsana-kiddingmenow @veryblushyswitch

@skyloladoodles @saturnzskyzz @backy-san

@creativecutie @savemeafruitjuice

@mythica0 @leosmasktails @someone1348 @vxlepop

@anxious-lee @charismakat

@sunny-117 @odder-outlet @jamiesgotchu @ziipzeepzop-eez

@danineedshelp @pocky-dragon

@my-l0v3r-v3rse @rice-cake-teen10

[ladykailitha]

Can Anybody See Me? Part 12

Welcome to the billionth chapter of Eddie Munson is the biggest sweetheart on the planet with Wayne Munson coming in as a close second. Just another soft chapter. They just wanted to cuddle and who I am to deny them that?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

*

Steve chewed on his pen lid, willing the page in front of him to do something. He had already finished the comic pages for Miss Chen. She even gave him an A. Her little comment about it being ‘nicer’ made his stomach roll. So he was back working on his first comic idea. Because unresolved trauma was really starting to affect his sleep cycle and he was falling asleep in classes.

He shook his head. If he fell asleep in Mr Vinke’s class, Eddie would always poke him with a pencil to wake him and mouth asking if he was okay. Whenever he did that, the warm butterflies in Steve’s stomach would start their dance and the blush would stain his cheeks.

He was about seven pages into the first encounter with Nancy and Jonathan. He wondered briefly if maybe he should have started with Will’s disappearance but that wasn’t his story. This is was the start of his story. And he was at the part where the hero had ran out to his car, standing with the door open looking at the house in horror.

Steve hated that he had hesitated. That he had run at all. Gun or no gun. He felt like this was his lowest moment. And he was immortalizing it in ink and color. He let out a shuddering breath. He put the pen down and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes.

He needed to get it through it. To get it out of his head. So he bent back over his paper and started again. Maybe he’ll be able to get his expression to match what he was feeling in that moment. Because how do you convey the horror, the fear, just the feeling of despair?

Steve tried again. It felt better. He finished the page and began to ink it properly. He set it to side and grabbed the next page and began blocking the next page. He looked over at the clock. It was flashing 12:00AM.

Shit!

He must have knocked the cord loose. He plugged it back in and looked at his watch to reset it.

Shit!

It was after four o’clock in the morning and he had school in oh about three hours.

Steve sighed. He struggled with the decision to get into his pajamas. Ultimately, he didn’t. What was the point of changing for only a couple of hours? He went and got a shower. He went rummaging through his drawers for something to wear.

Shit.

He needed to laundry again. He pulled out his last resorts. A pair of dark grey jeans and a fluffy black sweater. He put them on and went back to the bathroom to do his hair.

Once he was ready for school he went back to his page, making sure to set an alarm to make sure he made it to school on time.

This page was easier. This was about the hero deciding to go back into the house to save the two people in the world that hated him the most.

He managed to get through another page and a half before it was time for school.

Steve rubbed his eyes as they blurred. He shouldn’t drive like this. He should just call in and stay home. He had been forging his dad’s signature for years and could reliably give himself a sick note.

But he couldn’t miss too many days or he would fail the attendance part of his grade. He had already cut school that one day, with Eddie. Had come back the next day and explained that he had thrown up in the bathroom. Eddie had offered to take him home so he wouldn’t be throwing up in his car.

Mrs Hall expressed her displeasure, but all the other teachers had been understanding and had even praised Eddie for doing the right thing. So Eddie even got a pass, which tickled them both.

He got up and called Eddie.

“Munson residence,” a gruff voice answered.

“Hey, Wayne,” Steve said softly. “Has Eddie left for school yet?”

“Hey, Steve,” Wayne greeted. “I’ll go check.”

A few moments later Eddie came on the phone. “Hey, Steve. What’s up?”

Steve rubbed his eyes. “Do you think you could take me to school? I didn’t get much sleep last night and I really shouldn’t be driving.”

“You okay, man?” he asked, gently.

“Not really,” he whispered. “I’m just having trouble sleeping and it’s getting worse.”

Eddie chewed on his lip. He knew that if he took the day off, he would get in hot water. But Steve needed help. He needed sleep.

“Hold on just a second,” he murmured. “I need to asked Uncle Wayne something.”

Steve sighed. “Yeah, okay.”

A few minutes later, Eddie came back on the line. “Okay. Uncle Wayne is going to call us both in sick and I’m coming over.”

“Eddie!” Steve protested but the line went dead.

Fuck.

Steve didn’t have a choice. Not a real one anyway. He could get his car and try driving or he could wait for whatever hairbrained idea Eddie had. He sighed. He knew was going to be sitting on his fancy sofa waiting for the doorbell to ring.

Twenty minutes later his doorbell rang and he staggered over to the door and opened it slowly, blinking against the harsh light that hit his eyes.

Eddie looked him up and down. “Okay, I have some absolutely conflicted feelings at the moment.”

Steve frowned as he let him in.

“On the one hand,” Eddie said, running his tongue over his teeth, “you are barely standing and the bags under your eyes are large enough to hold all the books that stupid school makes us use.”

Steve winced. “No need to hold back, man. Just tell it to me straight.”

Eddie chuckled. “And then on the other hand, holy hell, Steve. This outfit...” he gestured to Steve, “really ticks all the boxes for me, dude.”

Steve smiled. “You do have a thing for black, don’t you?”

Eddie cleared his throat. “Right, we are getting off track. It’s time for Operation: Sandman. Because, holy fuck, you really need sleep.”

Steve closed his eyes and he swayed on his feet. Eddie rushed forward to grab him.

“Hey, there,” he said softly. “This is what I mean, man.”

Steve nodded.

“Where’s your bedroom?” Eddie asked.

Steve pointed up behind him to the room at the top of the stairs. Eddie looked up and then back down at Steve.

“Yeah...” Eddie said with a sigh, “there is no way you are going to make it back up those with falling back down them, even with my help.”

Steve nodded again but this time he swayed even further, grateful that Eddie was still holding upright.

“Where’s the front room or whatever with the nearest sofa?”

Steve pointed to the room behind him. Eddie looked around him and then nodded. He turned Steve around and gently pushed him the direction of the sofa.

He sat Steve back down on it and dashed up the stairs to Steve’s room. He gathered up all the pillows and blankets he could get his hands on and dashed back down to the front room, to pile them on the sofa. But before Steve could say anything, Eddie was gone again.

A minute or two later he was back with a pair of pajamas.

Steve blinked for a minute. “Did you go through my drawers?”

Eddie grinned. “Sure did, big boy. Going through your underwear drawer was like touching the shroud of Turin.”

Steve just stared at him.

“It’s from the movie ‘Sabrina’?” Eddie supplied but the lights didn’t come back on. Eddie sighed dramatically. “Humphrey Bogart. Audrey Hepburn.” Still Steve continued to stare at him unknowingly. “I’ll have to see if I can find a copy and educate you.”

“Okay,” came Steve’s weak response.

Eddie sighed. He located the kitchen and took stock of what Steve had on hand. He made a list of things he needed and went back to the front room.

Steve hadn’t moved or attempted to get into his pajamas, he was just staring blankly at the wall.

Eddie sighed. “Come on there, Stevie.” He made up the sofa with the pillows and blankets. “I can see why you can’t sleep in that room by the way.”

That roused Steve enough to frown. “What do you mean?”

“It’s too busy,” he explained. “The mind needs quiet to sleep and that pattern is enough to give people nightmares, provided they can even get to sleep in the first place.”

“I never thought about it,” Steve murmured. He began to undress and Eddie turned away biting his lip. Steve caught him and huffed a laugh. “How did you survive PE, dude?”

“By not going,” Eddie snapped back.

Steve giggled. “Come on, I saw you at basketball tryouts on the bleachers. Watching.”

Eddie whirled around and was grateful that Steve had at least pulled the pajama pants on before he did. But the sight of Steve’s long torso dried his mouth and fought to wet his lips with his tongue.

Steve was standing there, shirt in one hand, both hands on his hips. “You like the short shorts, Munson?” he asked with a wink.

Eddie threw his arms in the air. “Well can you blame me?”

Steve cocked his head to the side. “Of course not. I think we’ve pretty much established I like dudes. So yeah, the short shorts are awesome.”

Eddie burst out laughing. “All right you got me there. Finish getting in your pajamas. I’m going to make a quick dash to the store for some things that might help you sleep and I’ll be right back. See if you can sleep in the mean time, k?”

Steve nodded. Eddie turned to go. “Hey, Eddie?” Eddie turned back. “Thanks for all this.”

Eddie smiled. “Any time, big boy.”

*

Eddie came back with lavender oil and chamomile tea as well as ‘Sabrina’. Steve was lying down, but Eddie could tell he was awake. He applied the lavender oil to Steve’s forehead and went and made the tea.

He came back with the tea sweetened with honey and a splash of lemon juice. Steve drank the tea and settled back down on the sofa. Eddie sat down and placed Steve’s head on his lap.

“I’m sorry,” Steve murmured as Eddie began to massage his head.

“For what?”

Steve sighed. “For making you miss school, for making you come over and babysit me.”

“You didn’t make me do anything, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured. “I don’t mind helping you. I’ve got people to look at for me. Who looks out for Steve Harrington?”

“Only you,” Steve slurred, already almost asleep.

“That’s right, babe,” Eddie said. “You sleep now and when you wake up, I’ll show you ‘Sabrina’, okay?”

“Mmk,” Steve said before sleep finally took him.

Eddie looked down at the soft boy on his lap and knew he had fallen for him. Having a chance with the former king of Hawkins High was one hell of a trip. If someone had told him at the beginning of the year, that he could have this, he would have punched them. Risk of expulsion be damned. Boys like Eddie didn’t get boys like Steve.

But now, he had hope for the first time in his life and wasn’t that just a kick in the head?

*

Later, they watched ‘Sabrina’.

“David is an idiot,” Steve murmured about half way through.

“Yeah?” Eddie asked with a chuckle. “How’s that?”

Steve snuggled further into Eddie’s side. “It’s obvious that Linus has been in love with her since they were kids. He knows about her attempted suicide and never told anyone. He loves her and David can’t see the romance happening in front of his face.”

“Just watch,” Eddie murmured. “Just wait.”

The movie ended and Steve looked up at him. “That was nice of David. He could have been a real ass about it.”

Eddie smiled. “No, I think you were right. I think David finally realized that his brother saw her for who she always was and that was more important than the superficial feelings he had for her after she came home beautiful and sophisticated.”

Steve smiled up at him, warm and fond.

“Feeling better, Stevie?”

He nodded. “Best sleep I’ve gotten in two years. Thanks to you.”

“Always.”

 Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17 Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21

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[lovesodakid]

sworn to secrecy 4

chris x fem!reader

1 2 3 5 6

summary: chris and y/n have known each other, pretty much their whole lives. y/n has always had a crush on chris. chris always viewed y/n as ‘nate’s little sister’ until one day, he realized, she wasn’t so little anymore…which nate sees..in which. he does not approve of whatsoever. (“brothers best friend trope”)

warnings: slight mention of underage drinking and a small mention of toxic household. that should be all :)

____________________________________________

“y/n.”

“y/n wake up.”

i softly groan at the feeling of being shaken awake. as i sit up fully in my seat, i look over to chris, leaning dangerously close to my face from his seat beside me, as he was whispering in my ear to wake me up.

“mrs. johnson called your name three times for you to answer the question.” he quietly says to me.

that’s when the embarrassing truth of me falling asleep in class hit me.

“miss y/l/n?” mrs. johnson asks from across the room while shooting daggers into me with her eyes. “what is the answer to number four?”

i freeze. mostly in embarrassment, half in fear as i feel what seems like a thousand pairs of eyes on me. have i mentioned i have a small fear of being put on the spot? no? well now you know.

“i-um. what..what was the question?” i ask, rubbing my eyes.

“well. since you can’t seem to focus in my class, maybe you can focus in detention.” mrs. johnson says as she begins walking over to her desk.

i let out a sigh as i stand up, gathering my things. as i finish, i look over to chris as he shoot’s me a sympathetic smile as i begin making my way to the front of the class.

as mrs. johnson finishes wrighting up my detention slip, she clears her throat to speak again.

“next time, don’t fall asleep in my class.” she says calmly.

i don’t say anything as i just nod, taking the slip and walking out of the classroom, making my way to detention.

it’s been two days since nate and i stayed at the triplets house. things have been okay at home since we came back. usually when we end up having to stay at the triplets, the day we come back home, everyone just pretends everything’s fine. my dad speaking in a unsettling calm tone, my mom looking like she’ll break down any moment. i don’t know why she stays with him, i’ve cried multiple times for her to divorce him, but she just won’t. she claims that he was her “first love”. that she can’t abandon that or him. quite frankly, i think my dads a piece of shit who deserves to be abandoned.

as i enter the detention room, i hand the lady at the desk my detention slip before making my way to the back of the room.

as i sit down, i put in my airpods to listen to music. letting my mind drift off into space.

the good thing about being in detention, is the fact that the lady in charge of the kids in detention, couldn’t give a fuck less what we do.

ever since the night at the triplets, i’ve had the same re-occurring dream of the memory of my mom and dad. i used to have them when i was younger, but one day in eighth grade, they just stopped. i thought i had somehow blocked that “traumatic memory” out of my mind. or that’s what my old therapist said anyways.

-

“you got detention?” nate practically yells to the whole cafeteria as i sit down next to him.

i rub my face in annoyance. “i just fell asleep in class. it’s no big deal.”

“it is a big deal since it got you detention.” he mumbles, a hint of anger lacing his voice. “what’s with you? why have you been so tired recently?”

i roll my eyes. “i haven’t been sleeping well okay? im sure ill be able to soon.”

he doesn’t say anything as he just shakes his head.

“so..you guys coming to the party tomorrow night?” nick asks, cautiously.

chris and matt look at nate and i for an answer.

“i am.” nate speaks up. “she isn’t.”

“what? what do you mean im not?” i quickly question him as i whip my head towards him beside me.

“for one, you got detention.” he says calmly. “for two, im not dragging my little sister with me to a party.”

nick, matt, and chris just stare at us as we slightly argue.

“nate, i just fell asleep in class. i didn’t blow up the school.” i scoff, “and i can go with them, i don’t have to ride with you there.” i say, motioning to the triplets.

“y/n i said no.” he says firmly.

“nate, stop pretending your my dad. you don’t have a say-so in if i go or not.” i spit out, crossing my arms. “im going. i’ll probably just have to ride with you guys if it’s okay.” i say, looking between the triplets.

they briefly look at eachother before quickly nodding, nate doing the opposite, letting out an annoyed breath.

-

it’s now the day of the party. nate still isn’t talking to me, which hurts a little bit but i don’t focus too hard on it. a party has never really ever been my ideal type of way to have fun, but trying it out couldn’t be too bad right?

as i get dressed, i put on a denim mini skirt with a tight black, short sleeve shirt that’s slightly cropped. after 5 minutes of debating between doc martens or random knee high black boots, i choose the boots.

i normally wear baggy jeans and a random shirt, so i rarely ever dress up. but when i do, i usually feel hot, like tonight. my whole life i’ve ever only been hung out with the triplets and my brother. i’ve never really made an effort to look “good”. i mean yes i put makeup on and nice clothes, but ive never dressed up around them. so this is definitely a new one.

the second im done, almost on cue, i hear honking coming from outside. which can only mean the triplets are here.

i grab my phone before walking out of my bedroom and making my way downstairs. the house is empty, signaling my parents are gone, as usual. which also makes me thing nate has already left for the party.

i walk outside towards the van, i can’t help but notice the way chris looks at me through the window of the dashboard. it could mean nothing, but my body reacts differently. a surge of butterflies swarming my stomach.

“oh my god y/n!” nate exclaims excitedly as i get in the backseat. “you look hot!”

“thank you nick.” i thank him, a small giggle exhaling from my mouth.

“so, y/n/n. are you drinking tonight?” matt asks from the driver seat. per usual.

the thought of drinking tonight hadn’t even crossed my mind until now. drinking is completely out of character for me, the girl that usually has a book in her face, replacing it with alcohol?

“um, i don’t really know yet.” i answer honestly. “maybe?”

there’s a first time for everything right?

“well if you decide to. make sure you stay close to one of us okay?” chris says from the passenger seat.

“okay.” i agree.

-

“holy shit there’s a lot of people.” i say in surprise as we pull up to the, might as well say ‘mansion’ for the party.

the front door wide open, teenagers standing and sitting on the porch. one kid in particular seems to be vomiting. yuck. the front yard flooded people who look like they’re having a good time.

“yep. that’s a ‘christian davis’ party for you.” chris says, unbuckling his seatbelt.

christian davis is one of the richest kids in school. not to mention one of the most popular.

“let’s go!” nick screams in excitement, grabbing my hand to pull me out of the car.

____________________________________________

a/n: i apologize for the constant time skips, but i didn’t know what to writeee. plus i wanted to hurry up and write the party part 🙈 (for those asking for a tag list, i probably won’t do one for this story, given the fact this is my first one.)

[bb-olicity]

On An Island Alone

It’s been 3 weeks since Chenford’s breakup and I feel like I’m on an island… alone.  The day after 6x06 aired, I made the decision to walk away from The Rookie. Well, at least until after the finale. I’ll decide if I'm walking away permanently once I check online and see how the season ended.  And before I go any further, to anyone who wants to say I'm not a true Rookie and (most importantly) Chenford fan: I have just as much right to stop watching the show as you do to keep watching it.

So why am I choosing to no longer watch the show?

The main reason I started watching the show in the first place is/was Chenford and I can’t sit there and watch them redo Seasons 4 and 5A and I won’t. Especially considering the fact we already know from Eric’s comments to TVLine they’re not getting back together by the end of the season finale.  I do not see them getting back together until at least the midseason finale next season.  Actually, if I’m being completely honest, I’m not sure they will get back together or if they even should.  I know me saying that will make a lot of people mad, but after reading Melissa and Eric’s post-episode interviews, I got a sense of finality when they were talking about Tim and Lucy’s relationship as a couple and the breakup.  Plus, I honestly don’t see how they can come back from what they did, which leads into the other reason why I’m not watching anymore.

Tim’s whole storyline rubs me the wrong way in so many ways.  They could’ve brought in his military past in so many other ways and still had him struggle without destroying his character in the process.  As it is, the storyline feels extremely forced just to cause drama for the sake of drama and, for me, irredeemably destroyed Tim’s character.  They completely erased 5 ½ seasons of character growth in the matter of only 1 ½ episodes.  And I'll never be able to see Tim the same way again, even if he goes to therapy.  I personally would never be able to trust him again and I honestly don’t see how Lucy could either.  That’s also why part of me feels like they should not get back together. Yes, I know it’s a short season and everything is condensed, but Alexi and the writers should not have done the storyline this late in the season, knowing they would not be able to do it justice with only 4 episodes left and not knowing the show’s fate by the time they finished filming the finale.  Since they were planning to break them up, I feel like they should’ve done it at the end of the premiere or by 6x03. That way there would’ve been time for Tim and Lucy to work through their struggles individually then work them as a couple by the end of the season.

Why do I feel like I’m on an island alone?

After the episode aired, a lot of the fandom was angry and a good number said they were done to show.  However, over the last few weeks, I’ve noticed that number dwindling and a lot fans are now justifying the breakup who weren’t before and they have absolutely every right to.  I can see where they’re coming from, to a certain extent.  Tim and Lucy both were hiding things from each other since they started dating and would just gloss over things that needed deep and meaningful conversations to work them out.  That said, I personally will never agree with the breakup or the whole (Tim’s) storyline and will always maintain the breakup was completely unnecessary and they could’ve (and should’ve) stayed together and worked through their struggles as a couple.  So yeah, I’m on an island alone… and that’s okay.

[inthefightgarden]

so umm i just finished mother of learning in like 5 days, and my brain is now full of wriggling squiggling worms. i'm also just starting a re-read with the audiobook and it is already giving me even more questions and ideas! so here i am to share my wormy burden ^_^

anyway, here's something chapter 1 started me thinking about...

do you think zorian's mother knows about their bloodline? (also her name is cikan. i had to look it up, so saying it here incase anyone else needed reminding)

we know that cikan really hated being associated with zorian's grandmother, but she was still immersed in witch culture at least somewhat in her home life. we don't really know how old she was when she first started to reject those practices, so it's hard to judge how much she would have learned before she went out of her way to avoid it, and we also just don't have enough context about the witches' traditions for raising their kids to make guesses about her knowlege level.

we do see later on in the series (what comes to mind is the confrontation in koth) that cikan doesn't have much knowlege about magic as zorian knows it (eg. what you can expect from certain spells used for travel), but given that the witches are an separate spellcasting tradition from the ikosians that doesn't necessarily tell us loads about what she might have picked up from her mother.

also, knowing you have a bloodline is pretty important information to have, so even with the antagonism you'd think zorian's grandmother would've at least made sure cikan knew about that... if SHE knew, anyway, cause that's also not something we can really take for granted is it? there are a few ways i can picture it being

option 1. most of what we see in the series is not typical from an empathy bloodline. archmage zorian is an outlier and should not be counted. and even daimen, the more "normal" natural mind mage is still a whole magical prodigy, which isn't exactly baseline for most people with empathy either. so yeah... zorian's grandmother may not have known that she had a empathy in her family in the first place.

option 2. we do hear (i don't remember when or who from. maybe one of the teachers? was it ilsa? idk) that empathy is a pretty common form of natural magical ability, and it's kind of a mild plot twist that it's a bloodline thing if i remember correctly. so even if zorian's grandmother knew about an empath in her family history she might not have known that meant it could pass down.

option 3. part of the reason in world that empathy isn't usually thought of as a bloodline thing (again, if i'm remembering right) is because it's so comparatively common, so it's entirely possible that empathy bloodlines (and possibly to a lesser extent bloodlines in general) are just quite common for witches to the extent that it's not really something that needs to be said explicitly, or at least wouldn't have been if cikan hadn't done so much to assimilate with the dominant culture and distance herself from witch tradition and knowlege

BUT, those options are thinking about the reasons cikan might NOT know about their bloodline... so again, does she know? even if she doesn't think of it as a bloodline she might be aware that her family has a history of empathy. so now for some thoughts on what the situation might be if she IS aware of the family history.

(note. i'm pretty damn sure cikan herself isn't an empath. zorian would be able to tell if she was "open", and she just doesn't have that understanding of how other people feel. but if you think otherwise, or just want to think about a "what if", i'd love to hear about it ^-^)

(oh and same goes for kiri and fortov)

cikan might know that there's a family history, but not really know what that means in practise. as i mentioned earlier she doesn't seem very knowlegable on magic, so she might not have any clue about the signs and how it typically presents.

she also might be in denial about the possibility that her kids inherited something like that from her, given what we've seen of how she thinks about her heritage. or she might have focused any concern about the possibility onto kirielle, who seems to be where much of her trauma goes, and not considered that the boys might get it. especially considering the witches' beliefs about sex and magical lineage.

but she also might know or suspect that zorian and/or daimen is an empath. which if nothing else is certainly the option with the most potential drama.

personally, i doubt she knows that daimen is an empath. he put a lot of work into hiding it, and i feel like it would probably affect how he sees him. given how much baggage she has about her witch heritage i just can't see that knowlege not somewhat tainting her golden boy, you know? like i know she's fine with him being a mage and really proud of his prodigy status, but i just can't envision her seeing empathy the same way, and i think it would come through in a slightly colder attitude to daimen. especially given the cultural stigma against mind magic when she's worked so hard to become socially acceptable.

but i'm just not sure whether she knows about zorian or not! on the one hand i could totally see her just being oblivious, in denial, not having the right context, whatever, but I can also kind of see the way she treats him (specifically in relation to him socialising and stuff), through the lense of knowing he's an empath.

like he straight up told her as a child that crowds caused him physical pain. he had tp stop going to church because it made him actually pass out! that is some pretty intense stuff to just ignore... we're never told that he saw a doctor or anything about this via his parents (as far as i remember, please let me know if i'm missimg something!) so did she have some idea about what was going on or was it just plain neglect?

and if she did have some understanding of the situation, how did that affect her behaviour? did she think if she ignored it he'd just adjust and never find out? did she just not want it to be associated with her family history if/when he did find out? did she think that if she forced him into triggering situations he'd eventually realise? or that he'd learn to control it subconciously? or did it just not matter how he felt as long as he was still functional when it came to his political use? did she hide it more out of personal shame, or a legitimate conviction that she was protecting him like with kiri?

like i said, i'm not sure what my headcannon is, but the topic fascinates me. as you can probably tell from how long and rambly this got. sorry ^_^'

but yeah, i'd love to hear what other people think!

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ALSO. this is completely unrelated to anything but one of my loose power ideas for ashe so far is just. straight up telekinesis (inorganic/non alive matter) w/ an upper range limit that's like a couple times his body weight.... terrifying!! fits w/ the fucking. structurally unsound house collapsing around them & his mom trapped & crushed & everything happening around them!! maybe the longer he has it running/the more strain he's under, the more powerful he gets & the less he's like actively aware of what he's doing (like labyrinth) & the more it just runs on autopilot (bad bad fucked up and bad and dangerous) & the less he's cognizant the harder it is to come back down (<- related 2 breaker shit somehow. ur turn. handing u the half finished thing make it work please :( )... trickster state ant death spiral.... kind of is similar a little bit to his stuff in canon if u stretch it a lot.... anyway not married to this at all just throwing stuff at the wall <33

I ALSO HAVE TRICKSTER THOUGHTS. OKA.Y. FUCK. so. thinking abt him as his Own Person......... i love u trickster....... i just got to the part where he's hanging out with the lil girl in her treehouse. just some dude!! :]]] ..... so. sliding across the table to lean in towards u pulling out my ballpoint pen & sketching out diagrams on my cocktail napkin.

^i think.... the trickster could be something like this. he could get to have some crazy master shit going on where he can control & affect other capes like the chaos demons in canon. alec if he had a greater range of control & could permanently or semipermanently fuck with ur brain settings etc. u see where im going w this.... i think he should get to control ashe :] PUPPET SHIT NOT EVEN FUCKING INTENTIONAL BTW im just kind of crazy abt this also. like. dinah situation except he isn't drugged out of his mind (well. maybe. redundancies) he's just always in his loose nuke fugue state & kept in the trickster's control, he's very handy! he likes this one, he's so useful, he doesn't wanna give him up! :) i have no clue How the trickster would find him in this scenario btw. i just think it would fucking suck for everyone involved <3333 anyway.

ALSO FUCKING ILL OVER ALL UR ASHE/TRICKSTER STUFF BTW. haven't said it bc all of that is in the mile long draft i'm still working on but believe me i am like shaking and sobbing and on the floor puddle of blood abt it all ur so right ab everything forever. ANYWAY. thoughts??

ohhhhh telekinesis and losing control of his telekinesis as he gets worse is REALLY good. yea yea yea I like that a lot. u are handing this to me to make sense of okay okay lemme put my brain into gear thinking about Scenarios. under the cut time before I ramble about nhw like a madman for the billionth time. trickster state ant death spiral is a sentence that will be in my mind all day today i just know it. why do we keep doing horrible ant things to our little guys (it's ashes turn under the solar death ray now)

okay his shaker powers manifesting as telekinesis is perfect for the tragic irony part of the power thing (which. can you tell I fucking love that little detail? god that's so fucking good. your powers will help you. theoretically. but watch out!! that's so fucking delicious and awful). he triggered in a house that was about to collapse, his mom crushed by whatever it was that fell on her, of course hed want to save her and get her out! but the irony and futility comes in waves where. 1) he lifts up the bookshelf or whatever it is and that doesn't matter because she's already crushed. 2) he can't even help her with his powers because they can only affect inorganic material. he can't move her (he's only 8, he's so small) . 3) he is in a state of extreme distress and these first two realizations are making it worse and. where is he? what was he doing? Who is he? who's that person on the ground? UGHAHHVHV. HORRIFYING.

altered mental states and hypnotism and not being able to control your actions and being made to do something terrible and not being able to stop it is such a uniquely awful type of fear, and I think that kind of fear kind of compounds on itself to make it worse once he realizes its happening? I think he doesn't notice the fact that he's losing control at first. he's getting stressed and pushing himself harder and wow! his powers are actually responding to that, he's getting stronger! awesome! but stuff just gradually starts getting more... blurry. floaty. he becomes less responsive to the things around him. someone calls out to him and it takes him longer than it should to process that, he doesnt immediately recognize the words or whos saying them. and like you said kind of eventually shifts into autopilot. it's almost like he's fading out of consciousness but he's Awake the whole time. he's just not Aware . which, in a fight that's happening in a big open space like the whirlwind fight for example. that's not Too bad because there's less of a chance he'll accidentally hit someone he shouldn't be targeting. in closer quarters it gets really dangerous really fast, it's really easy to pinpoint exactly where and when he starts losing control.

side note rq im imagining the way this would work on a team, with the others kind of constantly keeping him in check, making sure he doesn't go too far with his powers? thinking about the way Failsafe's powers work, I think he's always sort of dimly aware of his teammates in the background and when ashe starts to lose control he either a) his pain level goes fucking haywire and sets of all the alarm bells in dakotas mind OR b) he drops off the radar completely. unresponsive, it's almost like he dies, he just gets totally cut off from the pain sense so dakota can immediately feel something is wrong, looks around in panic thinking hes gonna find ashe on the ground but hes still just standing there using his powers (i cant decide which of these is worse. smile). so dakota makes it his unofficial responsibility to be Ashe's lock check in a fight, esp with his mover powers, he's able to get to ashe fastest and easiest without being hit by any stray projectiles. bear with me bc im weak for these types of scenes (picturingggg that scene with vex and percy at the end of tlovm....) where dakota just puts his hands on either side of ashes face and just talks to him like "come back to me, don't get lost, don't let yourself fall" etc etc can anyone hear me it's so dark in here. and that sort of thing works for them for a long time because its a direct physical outside interference, ashe is able to kind of wake up from his fugue state and turn down his powers and bring himself back to awareness because dakota can usually get to him before he passes the point of no return. usually being the key word here.

operating with the breaker stuff being trickster mode still (I'll get 2 ur other idea about trickster after this but let me live in the moment for a second) I think THAT becomes the point of no return. once ashe gets to an emotional/mental state where he feels like he's in a situation too similar to his trigger, the breaker powers kick in and he becomes totally unable to control his actions (maybe with practice and training he could learn how to control his breaker stuff but hey he was actively extremely discouraged from even thinking about using his powers for a solid 10-ish years of his life, thanks mark :) ) . still imagining this is trickster mode, that's where he shifts forms and becomes less Ashe and more Trickster. ashe is still in there somewhere, maybe, but it gets REALLY REALLY difficult to break him out of that state until he feels like the threat is gone and there's no more danger. which. because he can't distinguish or recognize individual people when he's like this, having three other REALLY Powerful Capes around him does not minimize the feeling that he's in danger !!! the wards trying to break him out of trickster mode directly would probably just make things worse or put themselves in danger.

power mechanic wise I get this feeling that breaker powers because they overlap with the other classifications so much, that means breaker forms can manifest their own powers that could fall under other classifications? so in Trickster form his powers become less shaker and more master? (hey more similarities with wibby I'm sure wibby feels really normal about this). i don't think you've seen trickster in an actual fight yet so im a little hesitant to tell u this but considering you've seen the my friend mr giggles part you're close enough that i don't feel too bad about it- aside from the chaos demon master shit I REALLYYYY like the trickster being able to manipulate his environment (breaker powers) but being limited to like. carnival bullshit. games. the big throwing knife wheel. the floor is lava but Real. using a giant pinwheel as a weapon. as soon as Circus was introduced in worm i was like THIS IS SOME TRICKSTER SHIT !!!!!!. i don't know why ashes powers specifically would manifest like that (maybe because he triggered as a young kid and it's his brain tapping into the childlike tendencies of seeing everything as a game, turning the horrible scenarios into "something fun" as fucksd up as that is, idfk) so maybe this leans more into the trickster being a separate person but those are most of my thoughts on him for now :]

WHICH LEADS INTO YOUR THINF REALLY WELL, TRICKSTER BEING A DIFFERENT GUY. which. I do ljke this because it's actually. closer to the case in canon and would make sense for us to tie into the implications for season 3 (being. extremely vague here but we could do some TERRIBLE shit w trickster for season 3 if he's a separate guy. smile) THE ONLY THING. STOPPING ME FROM FULLY AGREEING W U ON THIS (u know I looooovd the pain of puppet imagery I am so down for this torture) IS THAT. I DONT HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS about how ashes breaker powers would manifest. or how/if/why trickster would be present for his mom's death (although I guess he doesn't necessarily have to be?) i think maybe the compromise here would be to give ashe the carnival shit breaker powers and have those just be His, while trickster can just be a separate s-class master who favors ashe specifically because he likes having control of those powers (because they're fun! "why him?" "i like this one. fits like a glove :)")

OKAY. FUCK. THIS TOOK ME LIKE 2 HOURS TO TYPE UP AND IM AT WORK NOW ILL MAYBE ADD ONTO THIS LATER IF I TJINK OF ANYTHING ELSE BUT. HI GOODMORNIGN IM GONNA SPEND MY WHOLE SHIFT THINKING ABT THIS

[teeswrites]

LN- All roads lead to you

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Masterlist

----------------------------------------------------------

Disclaimer: contain smut!!

Chapter 5- Abu Dhabi

Yas Marina Circuit, Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates (GST- UTC/GMT +4).

7:05 PM

As soon as the race ended, Lando turned off the engine of his car and turned on his own engine. There was no time left to congratulate Max or console Lewis. "Lando! Where are you going?" Charlotte shouted running after him "I have to go back to my hotel room" "What?! Why?!" "I must get on a plane in 50 minutes!" "He shouted back "You have what?! Lando, can you please wait for me?" he stopped to wait for her "Thanks" he started walking again "What do you mean by catching a plane?" "I am going to Santorini" "It's the last race you don't need to anticipate holidays" "I do have" "And can I know why?" "If I don't catch this plane, I won't be in Greece till today" "Why do you need to be in Greece that night?" "So she will not sleep with the Italian hot lad" "What?! Who?" "A girl who I used to go out with" "What's about her?" "I can't let her sleep with him" he said taking his racing suit off, she turned her back "She used to be your girlfriend?' "No" "So what do you have to do with her sexual life?" he stopped for a minute "Cause she was supposed to be with me" Charlotte felt his feelings "Lando…" "It's my fault" he continued to dress his regular clothes "She tried to take me out last week and I made up a ridiculous excuse" he finished dressing "Now I have to fix it" She turned to face him "I see that you have feelings for her, but…" he touched her shoulder "no Charlie, I just need to have her. Otherwise, I will drive insane" She took his hand off her shoulder, such a womanizer "... But, I can't let you" "I am going anyway" "Lando!" "Charlotte!" She breathed deeply "Please don't make anything ridiculous" he hugged her "Love you" "Love you too" and he ran to catch his plane.

//

5 and a half hours later

Santorini, Greece:

11:26 PM (EEST- UTC/GMT+3)

She looked bright in that golden party dress, even tho it was just a detail cause that night in Italy when she was wearing a rock band tee and ripped jeans shorts was proof she looked bright in every way.

She had a glass in her hands, probably not beer and definitely not zero alcohol cause she was gigglier than usual. For the first time since he had that idea, he froze, without being able to move his feet. What if it was a mistake? What if he would ruin her night? Nah. He couldn't think like that, it would be ridiculous and he promised Charlotte no ridiculous things. Also, once back to Woking, the lecturing for leaving at the end of the race would be unpleasantly waiting for him. And somehow she invited him, with those daring words 'if you were there'. He wasn't sure if it was an invitation or a challenge but he was about to do it anyway, no matter which was her real intention. Anyhow, he was there and she wouldn't have sex with the Italian model if he was there, right? Right! Or at least he hoped...

Even so, he didn't want to lose it, lose his time, lose his job, make Charlotte lose hers, had emitted tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere for no reason, he needed to be sure it all wasn't going to be in vain. So he decided to call her and see how things went. Actually, he should have called her before catching a plane to Greece, but it was already done, so fuck it.

He took a deep breath, tapped her name on contacts, and clicked on it, waiting anxiously for her to pick. To be fair, looking at her staring hesitantly at her phone, unsure of what she should do, made him even more anxious. But not as anxious as when she decided to pick up. So anxious he remained in silence for a few seconds "Hello?" he cleaned his throat, his voice sounding a bit different from usual "Hey..." "Is everything alright?" "Yeah! I... hum, just need you to do something for me" she sighed "Hi, Lando, how are you? It's nice to talk with you too" he sighed embarrassed, already blushing "Sorry... Hi, beautiful, how are you?" "Too late Lando, what do you need me to do?" "Don't sleep with the guy" she sniffed putting her drink down "Lando..." "Listen to me" she sighed, leaning on the bar counter consenting him the word "Go ahead" "I made a mistake" he continued "I agreed it all was done with you, but I am not a quitter, I am persistent, I work hard and I never stop until I achieve my goal, plus I hate to lose and I won't let you sleep with the other guy" he made a pause to accumulate some guts "I like you. And I want you and if missing all the last race of the year interviews and other stuff to tell you this isn't enough for you, just tell me what's and I will do it" "Did you miss all the interviews just for calling me?" Fuck, Lando! You and your big mouth "Hum... yeah!" "Why? I mean couldn't you just wait till it ended?" "No, I had... I have to know you're not with him when you're supposed to be with me" She chewed her inner cheek "You turned down my invitation the other day!" "I know but…" It has no 'but' she was right. He lost again and put his ass on the line for absolutely nothing, because he didn't have any morals and... she took a deep breath and admitted "You're enough already" Wow! shot-right-in-the-heart. "So why you're being so harsh?" "Because... I saw this movie over and over, and it always has the same end: you guys say those beautiful things, my heart melts, I feel bad for seeing you humiliating yourselves over me and I bend up. And as soon as you have an orgasm, the cursing is over, Guys like you get out of trance and fall back to reality. And guess what? They remember about the girl who is in fact special to them and, damn, I don't like it, fuck! I want to be enough for you as much as you are for me. And not only sexually, do you understand me?" he felt bad for her, it wasn't right to be treated like that and he knew it. Oh, he knew it "Just please don't sleep with him" "I…" " I promise we will talk about it all next time we meet" She took a pause to breathe deeply, he didn't dare to look at her, scared of seeing her expression, how much pain he was causing her " "Okay" she gave up. He smiled "Okay" he repeated softly, she was overwhelmed of course and she wanted to cry, he could tell due to her breath sound, so he aligned his shirt's collar and walked towards her.

Apart from the butterflies throwing a party in his stomach, he felt good and confident. His clothes were nice and he tried as much as he could not think about how screwed he would be if it didn't work, but he remained strong, touching her shoulder softly "Don't cry" he demanded, she turned around confused, taking her phone away from her ear, she couldn't believe "Lando…" "Hi!" he smiled "Hold those tears back, miss" he said calmly ending the phone call and rubbing a tear drop from her face, leaving glitter on his thumb "How... What are you doing here?" "I came here to do it" he pulled her for a hug, a strong, full of feelings hug "I am sorry" he whispered against her skin "You came here to hug me?" he pulled his face back just to look at her, still in shock "Yeah" he affirmed, confident. She smiled "And this" he pulled her to a kiss, an intense kiss, that made her relax for the first time since she started to drink thinking about the McLaren's driver; "Take me out of here" she muttered against his lips "Okay" he took her hand and guided the big mess he made her become away from the bar, away from the crowd, and mainly away from the good looking Italian guy, to where they could be only the two of them, to where she didn't have to hide the amazing person she was and fake to be another one, where she could eat pizza and watch k-dramas in comfortable clothes, where he could sleep like a baby, laid on her full-of-pizza belly after 3 months of zero quality sleep and jet lag effect.

He was so lost in those good memories that he didn't even notice the rushed pace he got, she giggled "Wait, wait, wait" bringing him back to reality "What's wrong?" she took her golden Jimmy Cho high heels off and he noticed how much he liked her small stature, smiling at her "What are you doing?" "Now I can follow your pace" "Sorry" "No, is fine. I love to have my bare feet" he looked at her small, princess feet on the stone stairs 'so adorable' "In this case, you're welcome" she giggled 'Fuck! He was crushed on a freaking smurf' "All good?" "All good" "So let's go" he bounced the stairs down, with her glued on him, tugging them to the hotel elevator, where he kissed her again.

...

In the hotel room, where they ripped off each other's clothes, the moonlight was the only flash of light coming from the half-open window. She had her back laid on the mattress, her hips widely open, knees parted at its extreme, with his athletic body between her thighs, filling her cervix with himself. The sound of "Lan..." she let slip from her lips, without being able to finish, still unsure if due to the cutting hard breath or the sudden electricity sparkling inside her core every time he moved, even for a millimeter, or breathed, or made a sound, or sweated, or looked at her, anything.

She moaned slowly, in a low tone, more like a whine, she wanted to pay more attention to the sounds they made together, the sounds coming from him. Suddenly the forearms on each side of her frame flexed up, his weight concentrated on his palms, his sweaty, still firm tho, hands slid down and had a strong, soft grip on her ribs, lifting half of her body, lowering half of his till he got sit with her on his lap. They didn't need to say it loud out, it felt like a performance they presented too many times already. She started to move her hips, knees working, flexing up and down, hips making circles, rubbing her body up and down his abdomen. Her messy bun tight on the top of her head will get stuck in his mind for the following weeks. He placed a hand on it and undone her hair, throwing the elastic away from the bed, she shook her hair, making it slide down to her neck and shoulders. He looked into his eyes, which have been avoiding during the whole time they were inside that room, and she looked back, regretting instantly, cause his eyes told her earlier about luxury and then were talking about pleasure, both things which shouldn't exist between them in her perception.

She slowed the pace of the riding, forcing him to say or do something. "Faster" he said among the heavy breaths. She dried a few sweat drops on his face "I don't want to" he looked into her eyes again "What do you want, then?" "You to do something about it". Sadic, he thought "Fine" he took himself out of her and turned her hips 180 degrees suddenly, placing her belly on the mattress. He placed one knee on each side of her legs and slightly pressed her body against the sheets, getting inside of her again. The bed muffled her sounds, so he bent forward to ask, low and sexy on her ear "Hands and knees, princess. I want to hear you" She smirked and obeyed his demand, becoming scandalous when he started the thrustings. She didn't need to fake it, she felt it all, out loud, to everyone who wanted to listen, but doing it for him to listen only, that was the important thing, the reason why. He pulled her body up to him, moaning on her ear, thrusting roughly. She placed one hand on his nape and pulled his hair as she felt the explosion before they cum on each other.

...

Later:

They were laid on the bed having pillow talk

"I think you are more than enough" "Really?" "If I didn't why would I come here against my superior's orders at the last race of the year? I could find sex in anyone else but you are the only you" She raised an eyebrow "What about Dubai?" Freaking Katerina "How do you know about it?" "It was all over socials" She was right "Anyway, didn't you hear the 'against my superiors orders' and 'at the end of the calendar' part?" she chuckled "Okay" "You look adorable when you are drunk" "Slightly tipsy" "Slightly tipsy?" "Uhum" "Sure" he muttered caressing her hair "Lewis says that's my automatic answer for when someone asks me if I'm drunk" "You and Lewis are good friends aren't you?" He asked casually "Yeah" she answered indifferently, enjoying the hair caressing "He knows how to value a friendship. Maybe..." she yawned "Maybe I can have the same thoughts about you someday. Except that I don't want to be friends only" he smiled "I know that you will" "I hope..." Then she fell asleep with the soft movements he was making on her hair. And while he watched her calm and soft expression he found himself desperate and anxious. He stopped the caressing slowly, taking a lot of caution for not waking her up. Then he stepped out of the bed to grab his phone and left for the hotel lobby. Wearing his beige shorts, hotel flip-flops, and his unbuttoned white shirt. A few people looked at him on his way to the elevator, whispering and giggling to each other but he didn't care, he was too angst for it.

...

Carlos was sleeping deeply. The snorting denounced him. Nothing could break that majestic oneiric experience. Nothing except his old teammate. He struggled to open his eyes and when he finally did he picked up the phone, angry "Qué putas horas crees que son aquí? (what fucking hours do you think is here?)" "What!? No, Carlos, that's not time for Spanish classes" the Spanish man looked at the clock on his side table "That's right. It's 3 in the morning! It's no time for speaking Spanish or any language at all. It's time for fucking sleeping!" "I know, I know, but..." "What?!" "I am panicking" Carlos sat on his bed, concerned "What happened, bro?" "I... I hit on two girls at the same time" "Two only?" Carlos said indifferent as he was used to that behavior of Lando "Well, it had a few more. But those two especially" "What's new about it?" "I think I have feelings for them both" "Hum, that's new. You are never in love with anyone..." "I haven't said this word!" Carlos continued as he never was interrupted "... And now you are in love with two simultaneously" Lando rolled his eyes "Yeah..." "That's why you are panicking?" "I don't know what to do" "Pick one" "Isn't that simple" "Which of them do you like the most?" "How am I supposed to know?!" "Which of them do you think is more interesting?" "They both are interesting" "The prettiest?" "They both are pretty. And hot" "Which one do you like to spend more time with?" "I don't know! I... Carlos, stop asking questions! I don't know the answers!" "Right. Which of them would you put your hand on fire for?" "None. I choose my hand" "Not literally, stupid. I mean take risks, do stupid things, ruin your career for, I don't know, something like that..." Finally a good question. He knew for which one he had done all of those things already "That one I know the answer" "Do you really?" Carlos asked surprised "Yes. Thanks for your help, man. It was very useful" "You're welcome?" "Have a good night. Bye" "Bye..." Carlos didn't think that he was very useful. In fact, if he was the one receiving the advice he gave to Lando he would only get more confused "Bueno. Ahora puedo volver a mío sueño (Good. Now I can back to my dream)".

...

Lando entered the room trying not to wake her up. He stood there watching the serenity of her sleep. He would kill for sleeping like that. The door didn't wake her up but his loud thoughts did. She opened her eyes slightly before sitting on the bed. She rubbed her eyes, sleepy "What's up?" "I..." He approached the bed sitting at the side next to hers "I had Carlos on the phone" he pointed to his iPhone "At 3am?" "Yeah" "Is everything okay?" He took a deep breath "No" she tried to touch his hand but he retreated "What's wrong?" "I can't go out with you anymore" Her bright faded away, as she was made of sugar and his words were water.  He was ready for her screaming with him and throwing the whole hotel room in his head, but she just chuckled, sarcastic, bitter "Why it doesn't impress me?" "Look... I just can't" "You just can't" She shook her head, turning her back to him "I should have never slept with you" She walked away from him, and he followed "Wait..." "Why? Why did you come till here and look for trouble if you knew it would hurt me? I let it very clear I couldn't handle this right now" "Because I couldn't let you sleep with the good looking Italian!" she hit him with the pillow softly "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? IS THIS A COMPETITION NOW!?" "I haven't said that" "Unfortunately I like you not him, idiot. My life would be a lot easier if I had a crush on Giaro, not on you" and he knew it was true it was written on her wavy eyes "I..."  she waited for him to say something, at least try to fix the chaos he started, but nothing came, he just didn't know what to say. She threw herself on the sofa and covered her face with the pillow "If that's all, please leave my hotel room" "I..." "Just leave now and never talk to me again, yes?" he tried again "Please don't be mad at me" she looked at him "I can't believe you!" "Please..." "Get out!" She got into the bathroom and closed the door. He was about to try to talk with her, say sorry for what he'd done, but a text popped on his phone screen. It wasn't the boss, Charlotte, Carlos, Max, or Daniel, but was her. The other her 

'Missing you'

That was what the text said. He grabbed his stuff from the bedroom floor, his phone and wallet, wore his white Nike airs, and as fast as he got there, he was out. The text was a coincidence only. He had already made up his mind at the hotel lobby. He promised Charlotte not to do stupid things but unfortunately, he let her down "It's better Charlie doesn't find out" he thought.

---------------------------------------------------------

Taglist:

@cmleitora

[sweetshire]

HI FRIEND (even though this is text I am waving so fast at you)

I hope you’re doing well! A couple questions but also please take this as a chance to talk about what you think is cool. Ok two questions: who is your fav lotr character?? If that’s too hard, maybe top 5? I am such a Sam fan, I love that silly little guy. I also love pippin. And I also love merry. And I also love Frodo. Can you tell I like hobbits.

Ok question 2: do you have a favorite sherlock holmes story? And do you have a favorite adaptation?

Secret third question: do you have a hobby that is not your favorite but that you do enjoy doing? Like if it’s on your list, one that’s solidly in the middle?

Ok that’s it!!! Thank you for being in my notifs, it always fills me with joy to see you there hehe <3

*waves back* HEYYY FRIEND AM I GLAD TO SEE YOUUU!! i was thinking about just yesterday bc GUESS WHO FINISHED READING E.W’S encyclopaedia of faeries? me! i did! this was goood. sweet and wholesome and utterly charming <3 and exactly the kind of book i needed to read atp, given that the next few books on my tbr are mostly classics or hard-hitters. u were so right they ARE giving howl & sophie!! these delightful fuckers- they have me squealing & smiling all day 🥺🥰

1. u should know that this is too hard a question for me & when u ask me anything abt lotr i could ramble for centuries but i’ll refrain from listing every one of my beloved characters, which includes the minor ones too obvsly because i’m me :) anyhow! woo *quivers excitedly* here i go: first would be a tie between frodo and denethor- i physically cannot (& will not) choose. also lmao SUCH a contrast in both their, well, character - lol well done, me! (yet they’re soo similar too. yes i find parallels between their narratives AND everything else as well what of it) then in no particular order- eowyn, faramir, boromir (basically all the gondor men <3), legolas, & as u know i adore the hobbits. all four of them -um 5, including bilbo- but MERRY!! i hate to see him brushed aside & unappreciated. justice for merry, and frodo too!! what selfless, sacrificing, lovely dear hobbits *cries* OH OH AND I ADORE SAMWISE TOO i’d be a fool not to. there’s not a person who’s capable of not loving him. no doubt i’ll be cursing myself later for forgetting other dear ones…

2. charles augustus!! god i’m obsessed w the milverton case. what doesn’t it have?? a master blackmailer. a lady killer (she slays -literally ajdksf). hand-holding. h&w being not at all hesitant abt committing a crime - a master detective who’s always used to solving one!! delicious.. it’s the story™ which perfectly captures the true essence of holmes’ character imho. and ‘a study of scarlet’ ofc. irene adler (nee norton) queen i love u. big shoutout to ‘the copper beaches’ also. i like all the stories with the ladies

3. hmm i do! fav one is - u guessed it - reading. to answer ur question: i looove doing henna!! every summer without practice i’d practice it on any hand i could find. i’m an amateur but still i like it. i haven’t been able to do it this summer :( on account of. me & my whole family has been sick/unwell in some way since the past month & a half or so. but i’m planning on applying mehendi or do a painting soon!! (i also liked to collect coins/stamps/buttons or some such as a child - i habit i’m always in danger of relapsing into but shh)

[booksteaandtoomuchtv]

Burn The Ships (4/?)

A HUGE THANK YOU TO @snowbellewells FOR THIS INCREDIBLE ART.

THIS IS/WILL BE MATURE.

1 | 2 | 3 | AO3 | 5 | ???

Tagging: @anmylica, @deckerstarblanche, @elfiola, @goforlaunchcee, @jrob64, @kmomof4, @pirateswhore, @stahlop, @teamhook, @tiganasummertree, @undercaffinatednightmare, @xarandomdreamx, @zaharadessert(let me know if you want to be added or dropped)

A slightly hysterical laugh slipped out before Emma could stop it. Captain Hook of "Beware the Captain" fame was her mate. He was the one predator that sent fear through the pack of twisted, cruel wolves who surrounded Pan. She had imagined him to be terrifying, more unstable and dangerous than the wolf she just escaped. Early in her captivity, she'd considered trying to contact him, but Pan's wolves were too loyal to him to allow her to slip any notes out. She had pictured a terrible, crazed monster, more menacing each time his visage crossed her mind. 

The man before her was stunning. He was beautiful rather than barbaric. The leathers he wore made her stomach clench, but not with fear. Although, she probably should not have threatened him on his ship, in front of his crew. 

“Sorry for all the…,” she gestured as trying to find a way to indicate their entire interaction up to this moment. She blew out a breath somewhere between exasperation and humour. “Could we possibly forget every moment leading up to this?”

“I could live hundreds of lifetimes and still remember in perfect clarity the sight of you storming the deck in my shirt, love. It is not a memory from which I am willing to part.”

When she didn’t seem convinced, he continued, his voice soft and encouraging. “It is a beautiful thing, Swan, to be able to fight after being a captive of that little demon.”

Emma wasn't sure how to respond to that. Her cheeks were burning with embarrassment and she felt exposed in a way she wasn't expecting. Hook, no, she remembered now that he'd introduced himself as Killian. Killian even seemed a bit proud of her. But, what did he see in the woman standing before him that would make him feel anything akin to pride? And, why did Emma fear she could only disappoint him?

"I didn't have a plan, I just knew I could not go back."

"I understand.” And the pain behind his eyes more than his words made it clear that he did know what it was like to be held against his will, subjected to someone else's whims. She had the strongest impulse to comfort him in that moment. But, she wasn't sure how. Or if it was something he would welcome. Did he want a mate? Even if he did want a mate, she didn't know that he wanted her to be it. Did she want a mate? What did they do next? Knowing they were mates did not make them any less of strangers.

"Would you join me back in the cabin to discuss things privately?" He gave her a shy smile and gestured toward the hatch she had previously stormed out of. "There's rum?"

"Yeah, rum would be great." Perhaps it would ease her nerves and help her wrap her mind around this new reality. 

§§§§    §§§§    §§§§

Emma sat a bit awkwardly on the edge of the bed. Killian leaned comfortably against the furthest wall, clearly granting her all the space he possibly could in such tight quarters. She noted that he’d ensured she was closer to the door and the ladder and was touched by his physical reminder that she was not being held here and could leave when she liked. Granted, her only escape would land her in the hands of a furious and unhinged wolf, but she appreciated having a choice in her circumstances all the same. 

“Why are you here?” Emma asked suddenly. 

“It’s my ship,” Killian answered with an amused smile tugging at his lips. He continued, the smile turning bitter, “I had to finish a contract I…inherited from my father.”

Emma’s heart broke for him, but he did not appear to want her to try to soften the hurt in those few words. Instead, she gave him something she knew he wanted, “My ex traded me to pay off his debt to Pan.”

Anger turned his eyes to ice in an instant and a growl rumbled through him that sent chills up her spine. The strength of his emotion loosened his control enough that she felt his wolf. The brief contact was intense. She could feel the heat of his anger and hear the violence he was planning for her self-serving ex before Killian snapped the leash back on his control. “Sorry, the telepathy bit is going to take some adjustment. I don’t want to force you into any decisions, but I want you to know that I am not planning to reject our bond unless we agree that is the right thing for us both.”

“I don’t want to make any decisions until we are out of this nightmare place and we know each other better.” 

“I look forward to getting to know you, Swan. As for the other, I have a plan.” He pulled out a vial of black liquid from his pocket, his expression serious as he crossed to her and dropped it into her palm. 

She tried to focus on the strange liquid, but their sudden nearness consumed her attention. Her gaze was on the vial in her hand, but her thoughts were of pulling him into her, falling back onto his bed, and claiming his lips with hers as his weight pinned her to the mattress. 

“Swan.” Her name was a plea and a warning. She looked up at his face- his eyes burned with desire for her and his jaw was clenched tight. She should probably feel embarrassed that she’d blasted her daydream at him, but his reaction only excited her further. She leaned toward him, eyes on his lips, and slid her hand into the pocket of his leather breeches, depositing the vial and dragging her hand out slowly, suggestively.  

“Swan?” Killian’s voice was a broken whisper. 

She grabbed his coat and kissed him greedily. Without hesitation, he kissed her back just as hungrily. His hand cradled her head reverently as his tongue licked and explored, his hook was a gentle pressure against her hip. In his kiss were the promise of safety and the hint of an unfathomable love that was, somehow, insanely, directed at her. She was sure she hadn’t earned such devotion. Hell, she’d just tried to steal his ship. But at this glimpse of him, of his love, she knew she wanted it and feared it all. She poured her desire into her kisses, devouring him as he teased and tasted her.

He broke away, his head pressed against hers, as they gasped for air. 

“Emma,” he breathed, “that was…”

“I know,” she smiled. His answering smile was a beautiful thing. He brushed his lips against hers in a chaste kiss. 

“I want to keep doing this, I do,” Killian murmured, “but, before we do, I need to be sure we aren’t rushing into this. I want this, you, but not as a one-time thing when you’ve just escaped Pan. I want to be with you when you know you want to be with me.”

“I…,” Emma started to say that she did want him. The taste she had of him was everything and she wanted more. But, it wasn’t fair for her to pretend she was doing more than reacting to physical needs. She could not promise him anything beyond this moment. She could not answer the deep well of love that she felt in him, yet. She needed time to know him, simply being his mate was not enough for her to let down her walls and let him into her heart. 

“Ah, I see,” Killian said sadly, kissing her cheek and stepping back from her reach. “Whenever you’re ready, love.” 

“I am sorry, Killian.” 

“No need, Swan.” Killian pulled the vial from his pocket and held it up, between them, “This is squid ink. It will strip Pan of his powers for long enough for me to make one strike against him. His pack of lost wolves will likely be here tomorrow to get back what he believes I have stolen from him. My crew is prepared for a fight, but Pan is mine to kill. And, this is how I do it.”

“The fight is over me. You have to let me fight with your pack.” 

Killian studied her face intently, “If you wish it, so it shall be.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

“No, thank you for everything.” 

“Everything I have to give is yours, mate,” Killian answered. Then, he went on deck to prepare his crew for the upcoming battle.

[bolters-and-rivets]

I'm probably going to build a micro garden reailway in the near future, but first let me explain to the non-railfans who follow me what a garden railway even is because I need to infodump about something.

What is a Garden Railway?

Put it simply, a garden railway is a blend of two otherwise seperate hobbies, railway modelling and gardenning.

Typically, railway modelling is about the persuit of historical and technical realism on a small scale with regards to anything involving steel-wheeled vehicles running on steel rails. That said there are those who simply run trains straight from the packaging on track placed straight on the floor and that's fine.

With a garden railway, the focus shifts away from an almost sterile realism towards a more impressionist's view of a railway running through a landscape, whith emphasis on the landscape being alive.

more than anything I think it's about embracing the joy of enjoying one's hobbies in the great outdoors

So how am I, a queer, unemployable person on benefits going to build a garden railway, especially when all the examples I've used are so grand and spacious?

let me tell you about a little something called scale and gauge

out of the diagram above, Gauge 1 (1:32 scale/45mm track) is the most popular size for garden railways, both historically and current. O scale (1:43 scale/32mm track) is probably the second most popular, being the smallest practical scale for live steam, that's real working steam engines on a sminiature scale.

OO scale (1:76 scale/16.5mm track) the most popular scale all around in the UK, has a fringe use in garden settings, but can create some spectacular scenes if sweeping views of main line cuttings and embankments are your thing.

I'm going with OO scale, but I'm not modelling standard gauge, instead I'm using a narrow gauge standard called OO9. that is to say 1:76 scale trains running on 9mm track, for a scale track gauge of about 2 foot 3 inches (686mm).

a 6 foot by 2 foot raised planter will be all I need for a sizable circuit of track with a branchline and two stations, there's also space to play with hight by having the branchline finish at a lower level than the main running line. the first image is the planter I have lined up, the second image is the rough track plan I've made so far, using the theoretical maximum inside dimensions of the planter as the space I've got to work with.

I already have one starter pack of OO9 track, which contains a full loop and a bunch of straight sections plus a couple of points, which is a decent portion of the costs taken care of. The planter itself is £100, which is also affordable for me.

The unknown for me at this time is what plants to use. It'll probably be figured out as I go but I'm drawn towards alpines because small trains should run through small plants, however I also want flowering plants to encourage pollonators in the city I live in.

I'm also drawn to the idea of a small pond situated by the end of the branchline with the main circuit running directly over the water via a trestle bridge. I'm tempted to look at aquatic plants to help take care of the water but I need to do more research on this front.

all going well I should be able to start work on this after september, and unlike other projects I intend to see this through to the end.

[hms-no-fun]

I hope this ask doesn't come off as rude at all-- and I apologize if it does!-- but as an aspiring writer, I'm honestly really confused by some of the early choices in Godfeels, and I'm curious if I'm just not "getting it". I saw some posts about it pop up in the tag (and they WERE very shitty and rude about it :/), but I'd love to hear your explanation/take on June's big character change immediately post-realization, and especially the... "Trickster Arc", I guess it could be called? The former I get to some extent, but I'm really curious about the choice to do all THAT so early in the story with the trickster candy.

Seriously love your work, your narration is honestly a big inspiration to me in terms of how meta it gets and how close it gets to communicating directly with both the main character AND the audience!

no rudeness detected at all! this is a great question, in fact it’s one i’ve been kinda hoping someone would ask because i’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot these last few months. but i get the sense that you’re at least a little new here, so uh, yeah, hello, when people ask me interesting questions i tend to answer at great length. so strap in for that after the break lmao. also as a note, there will be some spoilers for all of godfeels here but please don’t let that scare you away, they’re all contextless and, if anything, might honestly make the rest of the story *more* enjoyable as a result.

as far as "getting it" goes, i've talked at length about the how & why of the violence in godfeels in multiple places so i'll try to avoid rehashing that too much here. but one thing i want to emphasize right off the bat is that i never intended godfeels to be an ongoing thing. you talk about the trickster arc happening “so early in the story” but when i wrote godfeels 1 i didn’t plan on writing more. i didn’t even plan on making john trans! my idea of what the sum total of godfeels 2 would be when i started writing it wound up being completely different from the finished work. i didn’t plan to make this thing so long. i didn’t plan for june to accidentally on purpose kill her friends while drunk and then retcon it. i didn’t plan on turning the whole thing into a space opera. it all just happened to me, man. i kept writing because i kept finding more interesting things to say. and it’s important to specify that when i started gf1 i hadn’t written fiction in years. i think if you jumped ahead to godfeels 3 part 1 chapter 8, no matter how you feel about the content we’d at least be able to agree that in the years since 2019 i’ve become a much much better writer. if you want more insight into how my process has evolved, i’ve written so so so much about it, too much maybe even, in the #sarahposts tag.

anyway, now i want to talk about june's "big character change." the extent to which her trickster arc makes sense or feels in character seems to vary wildly from person to person. what always bugs me about "ooc" as a criticism is that godfeels starts six years and change after the end of homestuck. let's remember that the protagonists of homestuck were sixteen when the comic ended. now i want you to ask yourself if you as you were at 16 would think that you as you are now was "in character." or vice versa! probably not, right? it doesn’t even have to have been six years. i was STILL sixteen when i started to get embarrassed of who i was at sixteen!

that should be all i need to say, but it isn’t. and it doesn't really get to the core of the issue anyway. i am not nor have i ever been interested in writing "a sequel to homestuck,” even though it has kind of just become that anyway. godfeels has always been about the meaty existential drama you can tease out through the complicated character dynamics of these fucked up traumatized gods. godfeels has always been my way of analyzing the themes and ideas of homestuck, the existential ramifications of the mechanics of SBURB and the classpects and retcon (let’s remember that i wrote godfeels around the same time that i took over hosting duties on the perfectly generic podcast). godfeels has also always been about me and my trauma. i even used to joke that june was my self-insert character, though i've seen that line repeated unironically by enough people who haven't read godfeels that i've stopped saying it. because it's not true! june is very, very different from me... i just happen to see my life reflected in her eyes.

to immediately rehash what i said i wouldn't, june eg8ert arose out of my frustration with most versions of the june egbert headcanon particularly in the summer of 2019. let's call her "hairclips june." hairclips june is always smiling, usually with smiling friends, she's wearing hairclips and has nonzero tit and is A Woman Now. as i said in my video, while i don't begrudge anyone their comfort food, this simply was not my experience with coming out as a trans woman. and of all the characters, i’d always identified most with john. also i thought, you know, these kids are SERIOUSLY messed up, every single one of them has died multiple times, they've seen things and done things no one should ever have to. and retcon! god, what a mindfuck retcon is.

those are the primal ingredients of godfeels. what if june came out and everyone wasn't chill about it? some folks say that's out of character and, idk, i guess that's arguably true. but i had friends who were very vocal trans allies who’d been in queer relationships who still stopped talking to me after i came out. let me tell you i spent a lot of time fucked up in the head over how "out of character" that was for them, to the extent that i blamed myself for their reaction because surely they couldn't be so out of character. to which one might respond, well, why do this as a homestuck fic then? why not just do my own original thing instead?

and i guess the answer is that i didn't want to and i still don't, really. it's not just about the characters for me. i like the rules of the homestuck universe. i find it interesting how it mechanically reflects being a fictional narrative. and, you know, maybe it's easier for me to process violent intrusive thoughts through a character who is capable of acting on those thoughts and then immediately undoing them consequence-free. retcon is, in fact, sort of the perfect mechanism for exploring violent intrusive thoughts because it lets us play out the fantasy without lasting diegetic harm, such that we can just focus on the existential and moral questions of the phenomenon itself. and like, yeah, that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. but isn’t it still just as valid a topic to explore in fiction as anything else?

like em or not, people have intrusive thoughts. people have violent impulses. sometimes they even act on them. the unpleasantness of a phenomenon shouldn’t dictate whether it is acceptable to depict in fiction-- if anything, we ought to take our instinctive desire to look away as an urgent invitation to look closer instead. as i’ve been wont to say for years and years now, “problematic” implies a problem to be solved. that which is human is inherently complicated. to pretend it’s all good or bad excises humanity from the equation, or at least flattens the range of acceptable humanity. all of which is my extremely soapboxy way of saying (as i’ve said a million times by now), yes, godfeels june is problematic. that is in fact what godfeels is about.

there's an extent to which i think this can be blamed on how rooted we are IN june's perspective in gf1 and 2. i don't think people really appreciate the fact that godfeels 1 is john threatening to commit suicide and almost going through with it. that's the context in which her friends react poorly to her coming out; i mean, she's literally sleeping on rose's couch because everyone's so worried about her! i think that, by being completely within june's perspective for all of these events, we don't really get a good sense of the interpersonal dynamics at play (probably because i didn't even really understand them myself until later). instead we just see people who should know better acting like dicks.

i think whether or not june’s trickster arc is canonically palatable to you depends very much on whether or not you've had a dear friend disappoint you so much that you're no longer on speaking terms.

but if we want to reel this back from the abstract philosophical, maybe it’s enough to say that we just have different interpretations of these characters? they’re not monoliths, you know. different people see different things in different characters. some folks get a lot out of hairclips june and that’s okay. maybe i was a bitch about other people’s headcanons back in 2019 when redditors were calling me and my friends abusive pedophiles for liking vriska, but i gave up that fight when the redditors got what they wanted (to harass a group of queer creators offline and out of their jobs). if someone wants to woobify gamzee, whatever man, go right ahead. that ain’t my cup of tea and i personally don’t think that’s very in character either, but that’s why i don’t read it. it ain’t for me and that’s fine. i like homestuck BECAUSE these characters can mean so many things to so many people. is this variability not precisely the thing that makes the postcanon era so interesting?

i have my idea of who these characters are based on who they were in the comic and i work very hard to keep them in character, but i also don't want them to be trapped in amber. i want them to grow and change and become different people, because homestuck itself is obsessed with inescapable absolute archetypes (ie the ultimate self, or the captchalogue system) and i enjoy troubling that. i enjoy swimming in a sea of weird problematic dilemmas. that’s what’s fun about fiction for me, you can think about and write about all the most difficult and even fucked up things you like, and it definitionally cannot cause real material nonconsensual harm to another human being. and yet we get so tied up in the question of harm anyway! maybe that makes sense when talking about marvel movies, but this is fanfiction we’re talking about. this is HOMESTUCK fanfiction. if i were to go on twitter right now and post “homestuck is good” i’d end the day with at least five comments saying “lol no it’s not.” SOME OF THOSE PEOPLE WILL HAVE HOMESTUCK AVATARS. there are few things as cringe as liking homestuck even among people who like homestuck, so who cares? i like homestuck, i like the epilogues, i like hs2, and i think a pretty gargantuan majority of this fandom are subliterate babies. that’s why i don’t engage with them or make much of an attempt to bridge the gap. i think godfeels and its cool little fandom is all the better for how much work it requires of the reader to “get it” as it were. i wish more people would give it a chance, or at the very least not immediately throw me and a lot of my friends under the bus at every possible opportunity, but what can you do? i just write. people will react how they will react. what matters to me is that it stays true to itself as a work, and that it grows with me and my audience and my collaborators. trying to backpedal or soften the edges would just ruin the whole thing, likely alienate my current readers and inevitably invite even more bad faith readings. no thanks!

some folks stop reading godfeels after june's trickster arc, and i can respect that. if you get to that part of the story and don't like it, chances are you're not gonna like the rest of it! and in that sense, i guess you could say i “chose” to have june’s trickster arc happen so “early on” as a litmus test for the reader. as annoying as it can be feeling like i’m constantly having to address this exact issue, i vastly prefer it to a bunch of people hate-reading something that wasn’t made for them. but again, i didn’t know this was “early on” when i wrote it, because i didn’t plan it to happen. i didn’t intend for june to go on a killing spree, she just did it and i as writer decided, you know what? this is way more interesting than what i had planned. and then dirk became the antagonist because, oops, june coming out fucked up all the schemes he has that play out in the homestuck epilogues. and i guess in THAT sense, the palatability of godfeels depends on whether or not you liked and/or tolerated the homestuck epilogues and homestuck^2. these, too, are not for everyone. but godfeels is not a replacement for them, as some folks like to claim (god bless them). i’m not interested in rewriting homestuck or fixing its sequels. ok well that’s not entirely true, i think the epilogues did jake REAL dirty and that’s become a big focus of mine going forward. but even then, i don’t pretend the epilogues didn’t happen. in fact if you’ve read all of 3.1, you know just how cosmically important they end up being.

but this is, i guess, kind of the crux of the issue for me. june’s trickster arc happens very early on in the story, yes, and that’s deliberately challenging on a lot of levels. june spends a great deal of time being challenged by it herself! but folks who stop there (if they even make it that far) often act like the whole story is grimdark wish-fulfillment violence or me airing out my irrational hatred of Boys (????), and that's just not true. i don’t give a shit about that. we get to june's trickster arc at around the 25,000 word mark, out of the current grand total of over 400,000 words. her violence is functionally the prologue, and she spends the entire rest of this story suffering the consequences of those actions. so if i am frustrated with this line of questioning, a lot of it comes down to the fact that if you just read the rest of the story you’d see that i have in fact had all of the same thoughts you’ve likely had. i know people who think i did dirk dirty in gf2, and i actually kind of agree! which is why dirk comes back and has a difficult, complicated relationship with his past self. people complain about certain characters being ooc, which i can certainly understand because when i started godfeels i really did not have a great grasp on them! but also, if you kept reading godfeels you’d know that the tension of whether or not someone is cosmically “in character” is a huge running theme of this story. june’s friends react poorly to her coming out in part because it seems out of character for her! hell, phenomenologically how *could* june be in character after coming out when she barely even knows who she is yet? her whole thing in gf1 is that she doesn’t know who she is anymore! just realizing that you’re trans changes you, changes how you see the world, how you relate to other people. or it did for me, anyway. risk, dare, X, angel dirk, and silverbark are all sorts of caught up in this question. and if you’ve gotten to the end of 3.1 you’ll know about the concept of denexustic radiation:

and that’s just the tip of the metaphysical iceberg. all of which is to say that this is a feature, not a bug. so it’s always very funny to me when people drop out so early on only to complain about the very same problematics that i’ve spent three years and 400,000 words exploring.

BUT. but. yeah godfeels 1 and 2 are messy. the gf3 prologue is very messy. it’s a serial narrative that has changed shape multiple times over the years, and barring a bit of polish on gf1 around when i started writing gf3 i generally refuse to go back and rewrite things. there’s a lot i would do differently today, but if i had done it differently then the story as it is today would not exist. and i love this story! i might look back on gf2 and feel like it’s rushed and messy, but i know that it was the best i could do at the time. it’s a reflection of who i was as a writer then. i live with the ramifications of that for the same reason i don’t delete the old videos on my channel from before i came out/learned what communism was: because i don’t like to pretend that the present was always present. i’m a different person now, a different writer. i made mistakes, i learned, and i changed. i will continue this process for the rest of my natural life, as will you.

ultimately i guess my answer here is that godfeels is a flawed work written by a flawed person, and the extent to which readers relate to it seems to have a lot to do with how much their flaws overlap with mine. i get lots of people telling me my characters are in character. i get people telling me they’re more in character than some canon! and it’s not that i weigh those comments as more valuable, i just see it as an indication of who my audience is. i’m not writing for people who want more hiveswap, and i’m certainly not writing for people who dismissed hs^2 out of hand. i’m just writing for myself and my friends, and it just so happens that some people seem to get a lot out of it.

i’m gonna close out here by actually finally directly addressing your question with what i think you were ultimately hoping for: some writing advice.

the rules don’t exist. there are things that can make some art better or some art worse but they are not universal. the rules are fake and if you hold every story you touch to those rules, you’re gonna have a bad time. a story is not static and it is never truly yours. you discover it. sometimes you can expand it or alter it in ways but, at least in my experience, doing so more often than not just kills the whole thing-- or at least demands a complete reconceptualization. all of which takes time, and we live in a world where taking time to get in touch with and hone your craft is considered sort of a bad economic decision. but art is what it is and it does what it does and we can either play with it or we can put it in a cage.

what i like about making art is that i am not entirely in control. i have my plans, my schemes, my ideas, but the fun of writing is just putting a bunch of characters in a room together and seeing what they do. quite often they do things i would never expect, that are far truer to their character than i anticipated. my experience has always been that the more you outline a story before you write it, the harder it is to actually write that story. when i know everything that’s gonna happen on a moment to moment level, the whole thing falls dead on the page. but obviously you need to know SOME things! and i’ll say that from the inception of gf3 back in december 2019 to now, very very few of the broad strokes of my plans have changed. if you’ve read all of 3.1 you know there’s a very specific timeline at play in the backstory of a group of characters we’ll be spending a lot of time with in 3.2. there are no questions or mysteries or whatever else i’ve introduced to this story that i did not have at least the sense of an explanation for. but these are simply bullet points that dictate the endpoint of a path and suggest something of the moral/philosophical/emotional arc that needs to occur in order to get there. the real meat of it comes out in the act of writing itself, and that’s what i’m here for. it’s a gamble that doesn’t always pay off, and it does mean that i have almost 80,000 words of material i ended up rewriting or cutting sitting in a doc somewhere, but that’s worth it for me.

if art is to be relevant, it must have the capacity to make an audience uncomfortable. if art is to be essential, it must have the capacity to demand a strong reaction (positive or negative) from everyone who sees it. if art is to be true, it must have the capacity to reflect the disquiet contradictions of simple existence that we desperately wish to ignore in our daily lives. that doesn’t mean everyone has to or should read difficult art, or like it, or make it. but it has always existed and it will always exist, and i think it is essential for writers and critics alike to learn to stop themselves from mistaking a common storytelling method for THE storytelling method. and frankly, most of the art i love most in this world is art that i didn’t particularly like the first time we crossed paths.

and lastly, never forget the inarguable truth that the audience bears quite a lot of responsibility in this equation. you are never, as a writer, inflicting anything on your reader, because your reader can always opt out at any moment they wish. if something doesn’t work, yeah, that’s a problem you can fix. art is a conversation in that way, or at least ought to be. but at the same time, art has no obligation to be perfect, or smooth, or easy to consume. the rules are fake. they exist to be broken. the pursuit of perfection is a dead end. just make shit

okay this one has gone on QUITE long enough lmao i hope there’s something useful in there for you somewhere and uhhhh i hope you enjoy the rest of godfeels if you haven’t already read it!

[futchgunk]

Bladders Gat3 Finish doc

:et me get the rest of my fucking feelings out about baldurs gate:

im so mad bc any character who is not human or realism/white passoid is literally regarded with the same type of dismissal that you would see in mainstream media. all the companions that are not white passing are treated like shit and have bad ends.

-Lae'zel (gith) gets abducted by the a bad guy for the last 1/3 of the game (also we could talk about her being the fighter class as default is also a bit racist, but the deep dive will be its own essay). and then she can die and not be able to be resurrected. (resurrection scrolls and revivify spells ONLY work on companions and not npcs)

Wyll (THE ONLY BLACK HUMAN MAIN CHARACTER, side note we could talk about how is name is spelled like a white mormon names their kids) is a big talking point bc he is constantly strung between the expectations put upon him by himself, his family, and then his pact matron. AND NO MATTER WHAT OPTION IS CHOSEN WILL CONTINUES TO SUFFER IN THIS EXECUTIVE PURGATORY. He starts as a "i have to kill this devil" actually its a tiefling (suddenly its now fantasy racial infighting, so of course u dont wanna kill another companion so early in the game, so Wyll is forced through Hell's Circles and the exposure makes him grown large demonic horns. (Wyll does not have control over his body or himself, nor his actions, and only suffers the consequences of the actions of the Tav (PC)). Wyll even gets to have the "I did everything for my father's (approval just to have my father misunderstand me and then the most noble course of action is to be independent because i am still bound by choices prior and also if two black people form any sort of family on screen its disgusting and blasphemous so I might as well treat my father like my brother who i never was able to relate to when i was younger" THIS IS NOT MENTIONING THAT WYLL IS LITERALLY THE SON OF THE DUKE OF BALDURS GATE. HE GIVES UP HIS STATUS OF NOBILITY TO BE HEROIC AND IS JUST FOREVER CONTINUALLY PUNISHED. THE DUKE OF BALDURS GATE IS BRAINWASHED TO RELINQUISHING HIS TITLE AND CORONATES THE WHITE DEVIL EVIL DICK BAD GUY WHO SOLD KARLACH (TIEFLING) TO HELL FOR GIGGLES.

Karlach (tiefling) is a bright eyed noble hearted character that is looking for solace after having 10 years of her life taken from her when she got sold to devil and hell and made a war machine slave because thats perfectly tragic. Her heart is taken from her and replaced with an engine (machine) that is slowly killing her when she is not in Hell. THE ENGINE DOESNT EVEN HAVE A GOOD IN GAME MECHANIC, YOU GET TO SET URSELF ON FIRE TO GET A 'HEAT' DEBUFF THAT U CAN CONSUME ON AN ATTACK, you build heat any other way, so its like only <Lv. 4, and if you minmaxed the opening scene, you get a 2h sword that does this every attack, so like its a bit moot and useless. Furthermore i think its really stupid that shes yearning for companionship and yet is not allowed because her engine makes her to hot to touch. Which rubs me the wrong way as a black transfem (u could argue tiefling coded) because I already feel like that. I feel like im too intense and hot with my passions and i intimidate people to the point that I'm actively denying myself the intimacy i crave so dearly just by existing and expressing myself. The taxation of life shouldn't really exist in video games!! The whole party gets mind enslaving brainworms that magically dont work because the plot armor is really strong yet the demon character who EVEN WHEN THEY SEEK HELP IN THEIR COMPANION QUEST ARE DENIED THE REALITY OF LIVING COMFORTABLY BECAUSE THEY SHOULD ONLY EXIST IN HELL. (cried actually). Before the last of this mess, she offers to turn into a mindflayer just to give herself the peace that she could be the hero that saves the world (become the villain because its better than who you currently exist as, or die being yourself (who has LITERALLY BEEN DEMONIZED). Karlach doesn't get to have have a happy ending because she either dies from engine overdose or goes to hell just to fucking breathe. THE KICKER IS THAT WYLL, THE PERSON WHO WAS GOING TO KILL HER AS PART OF THE WARLOCK PACT, OFFERS TO ACCOMPANY HER IN HELL AND FIGHT BY HER SIDE. WHICH MEANS THAT ALL OF THE MARGINALIZED IDENTITIES EFFECTIVELY FUCK OFF AFTER YOU SAVE THE WORLD.

White victim Shadowheart has the option of rejecting what she knows (which was a lie told her) or believing it. The worst she has to do is kill a bound seraphim, and free her parents held captive by putting their souls to rest (she turns them into light, killing them). She gets sick weapons. Clerics are busted anyway.

White devil astarion got to ascend in pale supremacy and got cool vampire powers (bite+, bite++, buff on kill, and consume buff for heal || next hit crits). The final battle WAS BUGGED FOR ME. I WAS STUCK ON THE BOSS FIGHT FOR TWO WEEKS BECAUSE THE END OF BATTLE SCREEN WOULDNT LOAD. LIKE I MADE A WHOLE NOTHER CHARACTER BECAUSE I BEAT THE BOSS 7 TIMES AND MY BUGFIXED DIDNT WORK!!

if im gonna get so heated about video games i am just gonna go play bloodborne so i have no room to complain bc im constantly sucking