#which subtly tells them to DROP THE SUBJECT

[daffythefox]

those small jokes and jabs some people will make at you when you’re friends with them like. they just wear me down so much. like I could have a face up for multiple hours and be relatively fine and then they could start doing that (like. I mess up slightly and they make a joke at my expense, or someone points out something I’m sensitive about for a joke, or someone makes a joke where the punchline is “hey you seem like you’re barely holding in your emotions) all of a sudden it’s nine times the work to be out and social without acting like a total dick (shooting back with something that plays on their insecurities as well so they sill stop pressing me) or having to leave because I’m about to break down, which is incredibly embarrassing and makes me feel like I’m just making a show so other people will feel guilty (not that I’m worried they will feel guilty, I’m worried they will think I will want them to feel guilty and that they will see me as lesser for that instead). “get something you’re fine with people joking about so they will make jokes about that and it won’t hit you as hard” why are you entitled to being able to make jokes at my expense? maybe I don’t want you to make fun of me at all!

[teojira]

QUEEN loved your noa hcs ty for feeding us!! would you pretty please write some about him realizing he has feelings for the reader and trying to impress them/drop hints/confess :3c

[Youth][Noa x reader drabble/headcanons]

Summary: Noa is down bad for you, and he doesn't know what to do about it.

Warnings: Nothing that I can think of!

Word count:

A/N: I miss Noa so bad, can you tell? I hope these r okay anon! Sorry it took me so long to get to these </3

There was never any preparation for this, no recorded interactions between Echo and Apes that ended in them being mates.

How the hell was Noa supposed to proceed?

He's not ready for this. He's been shoving it down deep inside, telling himself what he feels for you is friendship. He's just worried for you, is all.

You're just a human that lives with them, that's all. A really pretty human. He certainly doesn't daydream of you, running his fingers through your hair, staring into your eyes for hours, teaching you how to hunt and fish. He doesn't. It'd never work between you both.

Ape and Echo, Caesar made it work, Noa had learned as much.

It wasn't until his mother started pestering him, shooting him looks whenever he would randomly bring you up in conversation, despite the subject having nothing to do with you.

"You like them." The rate at which Noa snaps his neck back at Dar is concerning. She's almost positive she heard a snap.

"No? Why-"

"I am your mother, I know you."

"Mother, maybe if I had to-" Noa tries to sign fast, but the blush rushing to his face isn't helping.

"Had to? Why would you ever have to love them?"

"...oh."

She got him there.

"But we are so...different. It would never work." Noa stares down at his hands, exhaling harshly.

"Noa, listen to me." Dar rests his hand under Noa's chin, tilting it towards herself.

"Don't wait. Follow your heart."

"But what if-"

Dar shakes her head, bring her palm to cover Noa's heart. "Follow."

Now, with his mother's blessing, Noa is a lot more confident in courting you.

Doesn't mean he's good at it.

He doesn't have any basis for this. Give him a break. His mother and father weren't particularly keen on letting their relationship be for everyone to see, even to their son. So yes, he's struggling.

He starts off with spending more time with you, offering to take you on day trips to the city, under the guise of looking for more "Echo books" for you.

He has to subtly tell Anaya to fuck off when he tries to invite himself and Soona with you both. Poor Noa is shaking his head behind you with death and horror in his eyes until Anaya finally gets the hint.

Speaking of which, Anaya and Soona try and help. They mean well, but Noa is not trying to rush into it. The two have other plans.

They trade jobs with Noa, with the intent that it'll push you into Noas proximity more.

Sorry! You can't ride with Soona, you have to be with Noa!

You had cooking duty with Anaya? Well, he actually isn't feeling good, so Noa will help you with tonight's meal.

Noa both hates and loves his friends for it, especially when you two grow closer.

He feels a sense of pride when he shows off his strength in front of you, biting back a smirk when he sees your eyes widen when he climbs. When he makes you laugh when he picks you up and swings you around.

Noa gets an ego the first time he protects you from an wild animal, obviously not while the threat is there, but when you cling to him and thank him profusely and you're so close, his brain is short circuiting and he feels like the strongest ape in the world.

He'll start to bring you back relics he's found on his trips, stuff ranging from books to jewelry to clothing he's found that are in salvageable condition.

"Noa! Where did you even find this?" You reach out to slap at his shoulder, staring down at the hoodie in your hand (it's slightly damp, Noa washing it to the best of his ability before gifting it to you).

"I have my ways." He's so smug. He knows you're gonna hug him in return, and it damn near makes him feral.

Eventually his courting is so blatant that everyone knows his intentions, all silently rooting for him.

Everyone knows, but you don't. And it makes him want to rip his fur out.

Noa thinks he couldn't be clearer. He feeds you, hunts and gathers for you, checks on you constantly, and follows you around when able.

He's even picked you wild flowers, something he has seen in one of the Echo books that 'boyfriends' would do.

He is fighting for his life, please, you can't be this dense.

[san8ny]

if you don’t mind can you do mom Dina x fem mom reader who meet through a mommy and me class (both of them are single moms bc I don’t like cheating 😭)

YOU’LL HAVE TO MISS ME - Dina x Fem! Reader

an: first dina stuff, i love her sm :(

—

Grief was a funny thing.

It was both subjective, and difficult.

Anyone can feel grief, yet deal with it differently than otthers would.

Before you sister passed, did you have the best relationship? Fuck no.

So, why did you feel obligated to drop everything and take in her bastard child?

Gurbles and burps interrupt your bleak thoughts as you look at the child tiredly through your view-finder, car parked infront of a place commonly recommended to you.

Once the minute has passed and you feel lesser anxiety, you unbuckle your seatbelt and exit the vehicle, opening the backseat door to your 5-month old niece, strapped in her baby carrier securely with a pacifier in her mouth.

You stare at her blankly, trying to fight the small smile that makes it’s way to your face as you pick her up, up and at ‘em, putting her on your hip as you gather her small bag of items on your other shoulder. This mommy shit was starting to grow on you. Just a few months ago, you were living in your cramped studio apartment with barely anything in the fridge to feed yourself, and now you had filled it to the brim with formula and starter food.

You’re sat in a circle with other women, mostly olders with you and some other girl being the obviously younger ones. Some women stare at you in what seems like respect, and others in blatant pity, probably whispering in contempt about how disgusting it is you got knocked up so young.

If only they knew, a tick reads in your head.

There’s an overly joyous women leading this, who you can only assume is the instructor, asking you all in an overly-babying and condescending voice what your names were.

Once it gets to you, you blink a few times, gathering what to say.

“We’re wearing name-tags though..”

“The babies can’t read, silly!”

Your face turns a shadely plum as you clear your throat, not what I meant..

“Right..”

You eventually say your name begrudgingly, the baby sitting on your lap letting out another comedically timed burp that you only softly pat her back at.

“Alright, now, we’ll turn to our shoulder partners and introduce eachother to one another!”

You nod to yourself as turn to the woman besides you, a child slightly older than your own sitting on her thigh.

“Uh, what’s your name.” You ask, tone less than a general asked question. She answers nonetheless— not that she had a choice.

“Dina.”

You nod in acknowledgment, looking anywhere but at her to fill the quiet gap. She was pretty to say the least, looks ‘round your age..maybe even slightly older, but not dramatically. You tell her your own name as you take out a warm bottle for your niece from your cross -bag.

“How old is he?” Dina whispers, leaning back now with her child on the blanketed floor, crawling.

He? Can you even blame her? The baby was wearing an ugly onesie your ex at the time found at a Five&Below when you initially (abruptly) were granted custody which albeit, was a tad too big for her at the time but came in handy now, reminding you bittersweetly of how you had to drop out of college to become a mother quickly.

“Oh, uh, she’s 5 months right now.”

Dina looks at you with slightly widened eyes. “5 months? You look great..” She somewhat compliments.

You thank her, awkwardly chuckling as you place the infant laid on the blanketed floor back into your arms securely,

“They have a dad’s day next week, y’know?” She informs you, smiling as she not-so subtly drinks you in,

“Thank you for telling me, but, uh, she doesn’t have a dad.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah..”

Dina looks at you solemnly, “I’m so sorry for your loss..”

“No! No! He’s not dead, I mean, I wouldn’t know him in the first place but—“

“Oh! Well, that isn’t anything to be shamed for! Sexual liberation is progression, you’ll find him one day—”

“This is my niece.” You finally get across, massaging your temples at the misinterpreting while Dina’s mouth gradually forms an ‘O.’ You remind yourself of why these sessions were going to be a pain in the ass.

Speaking of sessions, this thing was longer than you expected..

Dina speaks up again shortly after a while, apologizing for her quick mouth as you wave a hand in dismissal, it wasn’t her fault, but she felt some sort of guilt for her brashness. “It’s fine, I get it all the time. Not easy explaining but i’m use to it.”

“Yeah, I get you. My uh, ex-boyfriend died some time ago, so i’m constantly assuming anyone who’s in here has got a similar situation.” Dina says softly, her tone a bit bittersweet as she recalls her former, now deceased, partner

Ah..

You both begin conversing as the time goes by— swapping eachothers babies to hold, talking about backstories, etc— coming here was semi worth it.

Eventually, Dina and you exchange numbers when the time comes, you bite your chapped lips as she walks herself to her ride, a red-head in the drivers seat who taps away at the steering wheel quite impatiently. Girlfriend maybe? You tsk at the discouraging thought, walking yourself to your own car and getting your, now asleep, niece inside her car-seat.

“MILFS, huh..” you murmur to yourself, fiddling with the scrapling of paper with her digits on as you start the engine before throwing it out the window. Fuck were you saying? You didn’t have time for this shit.

“We don’t have time for this, huh?” You murmur to the baby, smiling softly as you begin driving.

[foone]

sometimes I think we need better terms for merged minds in science fiction.

Because we've got "hivemind" but that ends up getting used for a lot of very different situations. Like, the classic hivemind is like one singular intelligence, no individual memories or identities.

But you could also have less complete forms. Like, maybe all entities in the hive-mind share memories but maintain distinct identities.

So like A and B have a mental link where neither can "control" the other and their thoughts and emotions don't affect each other, but they can remember each other's memories, but they're still clearly separated. A can remember stuff B did, but they distinctly remember it as something B did and not something they did.

You could also vary in how much they have a shared consciousness: Can they talk to each other in their head(s)? Or maybe just emotions? like, maybe A can feel that B is angry about something, but they can't tell what about exactly until they talk to B directly. And that could vary in how distinct it is. Maybe it's more like that feeling of "why do I feel like crap?" before you realize you haven't eaten all day, where you would subtly pick up on the emotions of the other members of the hive mind but can't distinctly tell where those emotions are coming from: you, or someone else.

Which makes me think of another thing about memories: Maybe you can remember each other's memories, but you may not be able to get the emotional context. Like, A can remember a memory from B's past, but any emotional context they put on it is from themselves, not B.

So like, you could have A remembering B dropping out of college, and assuming it's a sad memory, a moment of failure, when in fact B remember that moment as a time of great relief, because it wasn't working for them and it marked the point they changed their life path away from what their parents were pushing on them.

The whole subject of consensus is also something that can be different. Like, maybe the members have distinct identities, but their opinions and beliefs affect each other. So there's a sort of democratic consensus in opinions, without having their will completely overridden. It's just that the mental link is influencing them to all believe the same things.

ANYWAY this lack of a rich vocabulary of the differences in hiveminds is holding me back from something I was thinking about of a split-hivemind of humanity, where everyone could remember memories of each other... but only along gender lines. Men can all know the combined knowledge of men, and women can all know the combined knowledge of women. Trans people, of course, lose access to one hivemind and gain another. Non-binary people (like me!) and bigender people? that's more complicated.

[freesia-writes]

Ch 10: Storm on the Shore Pt. 2

~ Master List ~ Previous Chapter ~ WC: 2k

WELL THIS IS THE MOST ACCURATE BACKGROUND NOISE YOU COULD HAVE, LOL: 24Hr | Seaside Storm in a Cave / Ocean Waves, Distant Thunder,Fire and Rain Sounds for Sleeping (youtube.com)

And LOOK AT THIS FANART BY @perfectlywingedcrusade!!

As the fire grew into a satisfying source of warmth near the opening of the cave, just far enough inside to let the smoke out but still sheltered from the wind and rain, Hunter and Lyra huddled around it, shadows dancing across their faces as the contented crackling faded into the sound of the storm outside. He had removed his jacket, spreading it out nearby to dry as much as possible, and with quite a bit of protest from her, had also ventured quickly into the rain to fetch her own jacket, which he had to wring out at the mouth of the cave before bringing it in to lay it next to his. His thick flannel shirt stretched across his back as he hunched, rubbing his hands absently near the dancing flames. 

“I’m sorry we’re stuck here,” Lyra said, eyes darting to his for a split second before returning to the fire. 

“Eh,” Hunter shrugged, “It could be worse.”

“The office ladies are going to be heartbroken that you’re not in your shop for their ‘morning sausage run’ before school starts…”

Fixing her with a mockingly stern look that led them both to chuckle quietly, Hunter noticed her heartbeat speeding up again, and subtly watched her body language to see if she were in pain from the ruthless pinching her leg had received from the spiteful crablike creature she’d thought was just a shell. He was unable to discern other signs of distress, leaving him mildly confused as to the random chemical changes he could just barely pick up during many of their times together. 

“I’ll just tell them it was your fault,” he added, smiling as she quickly looked back up at him in horror. Her long brown hair still hung fairly damp, save for a little crown of frizz that danced on the very top of her head, and her dark eyes sent an unexpected jolt of electricity through his body with their simultaneous vulnerability and intensity. It threw him off for a moment, causing his grin to drop into momentary seriousness.

“What?” Lyra asked, anxious at his sudden change in composure. She glanced around the cave and toward the opening as though searching for a threat, giving Hunter time to recover.

“Nothing,” he said, following her gaze. “I… uh… Did you feel that breeze?”

“...No?”

“It felt like it came from the back,” he continued, legitimately (and gratefully) distracted by the slight sense of cool air on the side of his cheek that faced away from the entrance.

“Are you hoping to blow dry your luxurious hair?” she attempted, cringing inwardly as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

“Luxurious, eh?” Hunter echoed, tilting his head back toward her with a look that concealed the slight sense of flattery he didn’t want to admit he felt.

“Oh, I felt a little wind!” she exclaimed instead, and he laughed out loud at her thinly-veiled effort to change the subject. He hadn’t felt anything that time, but he let it slide. They’d had a few moments over the last number of weeks of innocent questions that seemed to touch a nerve or pry too far, resulting in withdrawal and awkward silence, so in response, they had both settled into a comfortable understanding that information was to be taken as it was offered instead of pursued through inquiry. He rose to his feet in one lithe movement, stretching out the stiffness that had formed in his time crouched by the fire. 

“I’m gonna check it out.”

“Why?” Lyra asked, so bluntly that he was momentarily taken aback. But her tone was one of apprehension, not challenge.

“Might be a way out of here.”

“But what if there’s… stuff back there?”

“That’s the point,” he said, smiling faintly. 

“Maybe the crab had friends,” she added, a breezy smile failing to conceal her trepidation. “Bigger ones.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time…”

He could sense her anxiety as she followed suit, rubbing her hands over the fire one last time before getting up and hobbling to his side. She was torn in a way that surprised her – the logical choice would be to continue her enjoyment of the toasty little space he’d created, but she also felt nervous about him going alone. Not that she would be of any help in a crisis situation… obviously. Yet she was inexplicably compelled to join him. 

“Lead the way.”

“I can scout it out and come back to get you if there’s an exit,” he offered, unsure about her participation.

“That’ll take twice as long,” she pointed out, grabbing their clothing from the ground and shaking them out. “Besides, I think I can hear my fireplace calling to me…” Her jacket was still fairly damp, but Hunter had wrung out most of the water and its time by the fire had made it a good amount lighter. She tied it around her waist, passed his own to him, and nodded decisively. The corners of his lips lifted slightly, and he pulled his coat on snugly. 

He offered an arm to her, noting just how taken aback she appeared at the gesture. After a moment of internal struggle, she gingerly took it, laying her fingers across his forearm but carefully keeping a distance between their bodies. Again, his heart warmed slightly at seemingly nothing in particular, and they headed toward the back of the cave. 

It was a cavernous opening initially, with the dancing glow from the dying fire just barely illuminating the rocks that jutted at them from ground and ceiling alike. They walked wordlessly, arm in arm, with only the sounds of their steps, droplets falling from above, and the waves and rain outside. As the cave twisted and turned its way into the cliff, Hunter could feel Lyra growing more tense, her heart rate increasing and a light sweat breaking out across her body. Her eyes darted to and fro, and her hand tightened around his bicep as she slipped on a step. 

“You okay?” he said, the softness of his voice contrasted by a slight husk from not speaking for a while; it quickly captured her attention from all of the “threats” she’d been vigilant to scan for, and she nodded silently. “Are you nervous?” he finally asked, watching her expressions flicker from conviction to sheepishness. 

“Yes,” she whispered, lowering her head. 

“It’s alright. I promise. We’ll be fine,” Hunter said gently, his chest swelling with some feeling as he could see a grateful smile barely peeking out beneath the curtain of hair that concealed her face. He reached into his bag and pulled out the small light again, clicking it on and shocking their eyes with a bright little beam that illuminated the next few steps. As they began moving again, he noticed she had shuffled a hair closer to him.

“You’ve spent a lot of time in caves?” she asked, still tense with apprehension. 

“Some,” he answered, still not having shared many specifics about his past in the GAR. He’d focused mostly on their independent chapter of life, painting the picture of him and his family wandering the galaxy and taking various jobs to support themselves, which resulted in his wide skill set. “I’ve been in a lot of dangerous situations.” It could have come across as prideful or boasting, but he’d said it so factually and humbly that it seemed to drive the point home, and he noticed Lyra’s shoulders relax the tiniest bit. 

“Sounds stressful.”

“Yeah… You get used to it.”

“I don’t know that I could,” she chuckled, looking up as he came to a sudden halt. 

“Hm,” he said, casting the light all around in front of them. It appeared that they’d reached a dead end as all sides of the cave had closed in on them, and yet he could swear he sensed a large hollowness behind it. He felt around the edges, wondering if it was a large rock that had broken off from the rest to block the pathway, but despite his strategically-located pushes and shoves, there was no movement to be had. 

“Time to go back!” Lyra announced, proactively taking his arm again. They could barely hear the storm anymore; they may have been too deep in the cave or it could have stopped. Hunter furrowed his brow, taking a few last one-handed pokes around the wall in front of them, then nodded. 

“I guess that’s our only option.”

Upon their return to the mouth of the cave, they were pleased to find that the storm had indeed blown over, and the dark skies had lightened a bit to a morose gray canvas full of swirling clouds. They ventured out onto the beach, grateful for the slowness of the tide’s changes that meant it was still quite low, which allowed them to skirt around one of the rocky walls that formed the sandy inlet onto the next beach past it. This one had a much more gradual slope up to the cliffs above, and the pain in Lyra’s leg had receded enough for her to walk unassisted. 

It felt like a longer walk than usual back to their homes; Hunter couldn’t quite tell why. Nothing significant had happened and yet he felt a deepening bond between them, whether it was a sense of protectiveness, increased vulnerability, or something else. Lyra’s house was at a lower elevation, perched on a flat chunk of land near the edge of The Forest with a decent view of the seas below, while Hunter’s was farther up and deeper into the woods. He didn’t realize they’d taken the path toward her home, lost in conversation as they’d been, until she drew to a halt at the gate of a rickety fence made of random pieces of driftwood and tree branches. The property beyond the fence was lush, with plants and trees of every shape and size, and Hunter could see a white cottage tucked into it, the sea lying below the cliffs a ways past it. 

“This is me,” she said, nodding toward the cozy home. “I’m gonna comm the school to let them know I’m alive… and I don’t think I’m going in today.” She chuckled, and he could almost hear the plotting in her head of a decadent day of relaxation by the fire and, if he knew anything from their many chats over the last few weeks, probably some baking of delicious savory treats. 

“I might not open the shop today either,” Hunter said. “Perks of being self-employed.”

“Mmm,” she agreed, lifting her eyes to his for a moment. Brown met brown with softness and depth, and he felt that queasiness in his stomach that had made the occasional appearance lately. “Um… Thank you again… For everything. And I’m sorry.”

“It was nothing,” Hunter said. “In fact, I think I owe you one for getting me to take a day off of work.”

“So I’m a clumsy burden and a bad influence? Great,” she deadpanned. 

“Neither,” he reassured.

Lyra hesitated, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, and untied her jacket from her waist to instead fold it over her arm and clutch it tightly. There was a pregnant pause in the air, as though there were some kind of decision to be made. But neither words nor invitations were forthcoming.

“I… uh… I’m sure I’ll see you soon,” she said quietly, dipping her head and opening the creaky gate, slowly and almost hesitantly admitting herself. She left it open, turning back to give him a small wave as he said his own goodbyes, then continued on the pebbled path toward the cottage. 

Hunter remained at the entrance for a minute, watching her disappear inside the small white house, then heaved a great sigh. The air was filled with scent – the flowers, fruits, and vegetables in her garden; the contented clucks of the local ground-dwelling birds; the salty breeze of the sea; and the musky scents of the cows and horse-like creatures that roamed where they pleased. He felt as though he could stand there forever, comforted by the quiet nature symphony and the tranquil surroundings. But, after a few moments, he took one last deep breath and continued on his way.

.

.

Previous Chapter ~ Master List ~ Next Chapter

Join the tag list via the discord server link or filling out my form.

@lightwise @have-a-hiddles @littlemissmanga @dystopicjumpsuit @523rdrebel

@solstraalaa @skellymom @photogirl894 @youreababboon @anything-forourmoony

@reader6898 @moonstrider9904 @hipwell @lamiliani @catoo

@ilarria @padawancat97 @yve-barr @lucyysthings @flowered-bicycles

@maddiedrmr @techhasmjolnir @arctrooper69 @spicy-clones @ezras-left-thumb

@cw80831 @dreamie411 @meagmcc12 @waytoooldforthis78 @hunter-lvr

@baddest-batchers @yunggoblin @sweeticedtea @imperfectxprincess @ivyyyyy

@callsign-denmark @leotawrites

[corruptimles]

Ren and Seira both have SUCH amazing, memorable designs!! And every time u draw them they intrigue me more and more, could u tell a bit abt what they have going in between them? 👀

I already posted these here and have talked about Seira specifically before in case you haven't seen them but I love to talk more :)!

Their situation has some layers, it might feel a bit convoluted

It starts with Seira, previously named Aries, who was one of the 'Projects' which combined humans with Malum, creatures of shadow. He was patient zero and the blueprint for following projects trying to recreate what happened to him because it was incidental.

Taurren was one of the kids taken for projects at age 14. And he hated Aries. Aries was compliant with anything the researchers told him to do, was the one that gave Ren his food and tried to train him, and encouraged Ren to just follow orders because it's safer and easier. Ren hated him for being a coward and fought every step of the way until the day that Aries finally caved and broke Ren out of the facility. Even then, Ren was still upset at Aries because he was going back after letting Ren go, instead of them leaving together.

Another thing about Aries is that he wasn't just a human Nox mixed with Malum, his body was able to contain multiple Malum. That's something that couldn't be replicated with the other subjects. In an attempt to help Ren go back to a normal life, Aries experimentally ripped out part of Ren's Malum side. That caused Ren to calm but go unconscious. It also had the side effect of Ren forgetting what happened at the facility, and losing some cognitive ability because of how the project's process included fusion with the soul.

Aries dropped Ren off as close to his hometown as he could before returning to the facility and never seeing Ren again. Probably.

It took several more years and more incidents with subjects and collateral that Aries couldn't take anymore and left. Seira tried to live a new life, wandering, and later stayed in the same city Ren used to live in, with a halfhearted reason of seeing if he was okay. Except he never worked up the willpower to properly search.

Ren meanwhile grew up barely remembering Aries and the projects, knowing something wasn't right, but his family never believed him. At the time he was living with his aunt and uncle but was moved home after the incident, then he moved back as an adult. His sister, Karla, always thought he had run away for attention and the subject was eventually dropped for good. He did manage to live a relatively normal life besides that. No knowledge of shadows and elemental powers but with moments of feeling a bit empty, and an ear out for any whispers of the paranormal.

It wasn't until Seira got his teaching job that he met with Ren again. One of his students, Kei (whose life Seira also kinda ruined but that's a different story), had befriended a local that kept asking too much about the mysterious private school outside of town. Kei, while not exposing the teaching of elemental powers part of the school, still could not consistently lie to save his life and volunteered his teacher to explain! The school staff would know what to do.

I sadly don't have up-to-date art on his reaction to it, but Seira did almost lose it at seeing Ren again. The only thing that helped him keep it together was just how different Ren was that maybe he wasn't the same kid from back then. He went through the school's cover story spiel but Ren had actually stopped paying attention to that because something about this guy was just. drawing him in (partial memories/his missing soul piece). Taurren had started asking after Seira more and his interest without context started turning into more of an infatuation. Seira meanwhile had started trying to subtly see Ren more as well (going to the same cafe, not subtle), which led to them talking more. There was a long time of a tentative one-sidedness to their friendship because of how long Seira wanted to keep him in the dark, but couldn't successfully find a reason to leave again.

This art specifically requires more context I'll sum up really quick

This is much after Seira returns Ren's soul piece and memory

Ren is no longer angry about Seira's cowardice because he hadn't known Seira had already been in the project years before him

Ren's infatuation becomes something more sincere

It's hard for Seira to know how he feels in return because of his guilt. He thinks Ren should still be mad at him but has stopped trying to push him away because Ren is still as stubborn as he was back then

This tiredness is from how much Seira's been trying to redeem himself and save others from the project ever since Taurren. This now extends to his students. He can't and couldn't save everyone

[0shewrites0]

Can you do Lucas being needy hcs??

🪐 You already know how much this big boy needs reassurance; no matter how confident and self-assured he may seem, deep down he feels very insecure

🪐 Will rarely ask, "Do you love me?" or "Tell me you love me," but he will show you that he needs the reassurance by clinging to your side like a baby koala

🪐 Lots of wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, nestling his face in the crook of your neck and pressing a lingering kiss to your shoulder, hoping you'll turn in his embrace and press yourself against him by locking your arms around his neck

🪐 Coming home from work and a workout at the gym to find you lounging on the couch, dinner all ready but you’re waiting for him - he drops his gym bag and work bag, takes off his shoes and shrugs out of his leather jacket before pretty much sprinting towards you. (He’s definitely picking his stuff up later and tidying up, but that can wait) He bends down, picks you up with ease and hugs you to him without saying a word first. Then he whispers, "I’ve missed you," and you giggle and murmur, "But it's only been a few hours." To which he shrugs his shoulders and says, "Doesn’t matter. A few hours is still too long without you."

🪐 Grinning like a Cheshire cat when he glances at his phone during his shift and sees a text from you - it means you're thinking about him, and that means the world to him. Makes the butterflies flutter, too

🪐 Will often ask you for a spicy photo because you know he can never get enough of you; it's not that you don't satisfy his needs, because damn it, you do and then some. It's just that he's pretty much insatiable when it comes to you

🪐 Will never admit that he regrets this one thing in his life - not having a loving, trusting family and parents who make him feel safe and at home with them. But whenever you take him to see your family and he sees how much they love and adore you - just like he does, to be fair - it hurts a little. Of course he's happy for you, and he wishes you nothing but the best. He would never forgive himself if he or anyone else hurt you, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when he sees in your family what could have been - and should have been - how his family treated each other too

🪐 You see that he is hurting because you, and only you, can read him like an open book. In his dark brown eyes you see all shades of emotion, and he can never hide how he really feels, and so you take his hand in yours as you eat lunch with your family and rub his palm soothingly in circles, squeezing his hand a little. It's nothing big, just to reassure him that you see his pain and care, and that's more than enough for him

🪐 You know he is a jealous lover, so you will have to reassure him often. And you’re okay talking about the same subject over and over again because you love him and know he is struggling. He's not trying to lock you away, he just really doesn't want to lose you, and this is his way of showing you that

🪐 When you're together at a party or at a work thing, he's constantly looking out for you whenever he can't tuck you into his side. And of course it's also because he's possessive and not afraid to show it, but you know it's so much more than that. It's the constant fear that you might slip through his fingers if he doesn't do everything in his power to prevent it

🪐 Lots of placing his warm hand on the small of your back, running his little finger subtly yet visibly along the edge of your hand, and pressing gentle, not-too-short kisses on your cheek or temple

🪐 If he’s downright jealous because someone else is obviously trying to get your attention, you need to show him that you still want him and no one else. If you don't do anything about it, like kiss him demonstratively or just grab his hand and intertwine your fingers, then he’ll do the job. He will practically fling you against his chest, preferably face first, put his one arm possessively around your waist, tilt your head up and kiss you very deliberately. And not just the sweet I-love-you kiss, but rather the rough and passionate I-need-you and I-want-you and I-won't-share-you kiss that is guaranteed to take your breath away

That's it for today, thanks for this ask <3

[caeca-iustitia]

@sephaeroth from here

-

Vincent simply watches the magic swirl around the church for a moment before glancing down at Sephiroth. He was a smart kid, this much they already knew, so it didn’t remotely surprise them that he had picked up on the reality of his more villainous counterpart.

“He thinks himself to be one but his reason for believing so is imprecise,” They reveal softly, “I assume that you want the truth and I will tell you what I know and remember.”

They settle a bit and let the magic fade, resting a hand on their knee and tapping gently with their pale fingers. Splotches of something ominous coloured their digits and their nails were painted a smooth black. The unnatural paleness of their skin contrasted starkly against the sombre black they were so fond of wearing.

“The whole thing began around 2000 years ago with the arrival of the being we now know as ‘Jenova’ and the damage it caused. I don’t know much, I will be honest, and what I do know was learned through my mother as she often told stories of the Great Calamity,” Vincent says quietly, sighing softly as they pull Sephiroth further into their lap, “Jenova wiped out nearly two-thirds of the Cetra through disease and warfare. Only by some stroke of luck were they able to contain it in the Northern Crater. All was well, barring the drastic drop in population, for the next 2000 or so years until around 1977 when ‘Jenova’ was rediscovered by Professor Gast and his team.”

They hum softly and rest their chin on the top of Sephiroth’s silver head of hair, moving their hand up to unbuckle their cloak which they use to wrap around the young man. It is large on him, obviously, but the sight of their son in something a bit larger than him had Vincent smiling fondly at him. That smile soon fades again into a blank, emotionless expression as they resume their recollection.

“All would have been fine had they left the damned thing in the hole they found it but they, of course, didn’t and decided to bring it back to their laboratory to experiment on it,” They pause to collect themself with a deep exhale before continuing, “They grossly misidentified 'Jenova' as an Ancient- their name for the Cetra- and began to use its DNA to create new beings that they thought to be Ancients. First came Genesis and Angeal. I’m not too sure of the order of their births but I do know that their creation was the basis for the difference between them and you.”

Vincent stops now and they seem torn on whether to continue. The guilt of not being able to save Sephiroth- or any of the children used in these sick and twisted experiments- ate them up on the inside every single day. They couldn’t imagine the misery that the kids had endured and they certainly didn’t wish to think of what Jenova must have been telling Sephiroth when he fell into the Lifestream. Still, they had promised to be honest with their son and they would do that; even if the truth was painful and harsh. 

He deserved to know.

“Your birth mother, Professor Lucrecia Crescent, was an intelligent woman and she craved a child of her own but Hojo wouldn’t- or more accurately couldn’t- provide. So I gave her what she wanted…” They say softly, body beginning to subtly tremble, “Then… she tells me that she would be using you as a test subject for Project S- the scientist's final attempt to make an Ancient- and that I could not stop her. She told me that, as I was not a scientist and she was, I had no right to tell her to stop. I never got to even see you as Hojo got to me first but I just knew that you wouldn’t be treated like a human if that bastard got a hold of you and I was right…”

[swiftfootedachilles]

Hi! 47, 48 and 49 for the headcanon tag if you are still writing them please ty ily 🧡🖤

47. AU if they had a more normal childhood- How would they be in high school? (Would Ian be a jock? a cheerleader? would he be popular? Would Mickey enjoy studying? what's his favorite subject?) i don't think there's a universe where ian and mickey have normal childhoods and still come out the other end as ian and mickey. but if they had somewhat-stable childhoods? i think they would still be the goofy army kid and the drug dealer. mickey would barely make it to graduation and he would be a class behind, but he wouldnt drop out without even finishing freshman year like in canon. ian loves rotc but he doesnt have tunnel vision fkr joining the military, because hes not as desperate to get away and start a new life. maybe ian gets his math tutoring from mickey, and mickey studies for english tests with ian. i love aus where they are more than just secret fuckbuddies in high school. i need more of them holed up in ians room at dinnertime, passing cigs and joints, teaching each other about inverse trig functions and symbolism in the great gatsby. yeah a lot of things are still shit and they still make a lot of mistakes. yeah mickeys dad is still a piece of shit and ian barely makes it through senior year from the stress of his diagnosis. but it's better. and they are still ian and mickey. so it's all still worth it in the end

48. After awhile, do you think people got to Ian and Mickey for relationship advice? (Gallaghers / friends / franny ) i definitely think debbie tries to subtly hound mickey for info about sandy. what she's doing, where she's at, who she's hanging out with. at first mickey tells her to ask sandy her fucking self, but he realizes 1. he has to be nicer to the only free welder he knows 2. nothing he does to deflect the questions actually makes debbie leave him alone. so he answers her curtly and holds in his annoyance for debbie's obsession with his cousin. eventually he actually tells her something worth listening to, and debbie takes the hint and tries a new tactic for approaching sandy (debbie hasn't been able to get her out of her head and she needs closure or she's gonna combust)

i think lip and tami also sometimes try to drag gallavich into their fights. "you know what it's like living together in a small space, tell her im right." "you've made your relationship work for a while, why dont you give him some advice on how to do the same thing." ian tries to stay out of it because hes very biased toward lip, but mickey honestly dgaf about lip and tami's relationship so he tells them they're both equally and dumb and annoying and they better find someone else to talk to about all this relationship shit before he rigs their duplex with c-4s

49. Gallaghers post canon: Does Lip go back to school/ gets a profession? Do all of them talk to Fiona? What happened with Debbie and Heidi/ Sandy? Franny? Does Carl open the cop bar/ stays a cop? Does Liam live with Lip and Tami? How does he deal with Franks death? okok i have many thoughts about post-s11. i will be as succinct as possible as to not write a 10 page essay about my fanon theories. if y'all want that you'll have to pay me to go on a podcast or smth.

i don't think lip goes back to school, at least not in the near future. maybe further down the line, but for now he's in the mechanic and refurbishing business. which honestly he can make a hell of a lot of money doing so i see no reason why he would feel the need to go back to school and burn himself out and be in debt all over again.

the siblings keep in contact with fiona. i like to imagine she eventually moves much closer to chicago like fort wayne or springfield. somewhere that makes long weekend visits possible. they definitely facetime and are on good terms. if she moves closer i can see liam possibly moving to live with her? or at least stay with her during summer break

fuck heidi i really dgaf about her. i hope debbie and sandy can at least make up and be cordial with each other. i think they are very off-and-on for a looong time. toxic situationship that neither can seem to get away from. they both got shit they gotta figure out if they ever wanna be girlfriends again. sandy throwing debbies trauma in her face was FUCKT UP. and what the hell was with her secret son?? that plot was weird as hell😭

carl dont need to be a cop so yeah i will make him a bartender instead. fuck the cop bar thing, but they can have, like...a cop night or something. like tuesdays and thursdays during happy hour they get a discount or smth. but i REFUSE to turn it entirely into a cop bar. carl lives in the apartment above it

ummm okay so first and foremost lip is NOT selling that house idc what anyone says I AM NOT LETTING HIM DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD THE HOUSING MARKET GOT IN 2021? FUCK OFF. he and tami are either gonna have to suck it the fuck up and live in the gallagher house (ITS A FREE FUCKING HOUSE!!!!) with liam and probably also debbie and franny at least for a little while longer, or lip has to stop being an idiot and live in one of the MANY FREE HOUSING OPTIONS TAMIS FAMILY GAVE THEM. DONT piss me off phillip. with carl, ian, and mickey out of the house i don't see why they can't live there for at least a couple years. debbie can take her time finding an apartment while still living there, liam can have some semblance of normalcy in his life without having to move schools, the older sibs can get their own room (lip and tami, debbie, liam, franny and fred), if they can't make it work then they can't make ANYTHING work. it's literally half as crowded. and i think liam takes franks passing really hard, but i like to think everyone is much more supportive of him than ian was toward mickey when terry died. liam, carl, and mickey can have a heart-to-heart about their complex relationships with their dads. i dont think fiona comes up for the funeral - she probably goes on a bender in miami lbr. but i imagine liam has a decent enough support system that he won't be traumatized by franks deathl

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 240

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 Go Go! 41 - “Rin-chan's Date with a Hottie!?" Date watched: 8 January 2024 Original air date: 30 November 2008 Screenshots Precure Metamorphose Gallery | Sky Rose Translate Gallery Project info and master list of posts

Girl. You can do so much better.

Rin is trying to figure out what compels people to wear jewelry and accessories, with some provocation from Nuts. So she turns to the most bedazzled man she knows: Momoi Kyousuke. He seems strangely interested in learning her and her friends’ weaknesses, though…

The Plot

After Rin sees a man walking down the street covered with all manner of gaudy accessories, she can’t get him out of her mind, questioning  why anyone would wear so much unnecessary stuff. Nozomi tells Rin that she wants to wear all the accessories she makes, which Rin dismisses saying that’s not a good reason to wear accessories. Nuts challenges her by asking if accessories are something you only wear when necessary, sparking a larger discussion. Nozomi also brings up a new cake shop that she wants to visit, which the other girls show some interest in.

Over at Eternal, Mucardia visits Anacondy, remarking on the lack of Bunbee. She coldly tells him that he can join him if he’s so interested, so Mucardia drops the subject, and she subtly threatens him into action by saying she has high hopes for him. So in his guise as Momoi Kyousuke, he visits Fleuriste Natsuki to chat up Rin and try to gain intel from her. She thinks he’s taking her on a date, even while he not so subtly asks about her friends’ strengths and especially their weaknesses. Rin doesn’t really notice this because she’s still pondering Nuts’s question, stopping to stare at a window display of accessories, and then helping a crying girl who has lost her older brother. When Rin catches the girl staring at her homemade brooch and bracelet, she gives them to the child, who says she’ll give them to her brother, because her brother wears everything she gives him.

Momoi takes Rin to a new cake shop to try to get more information out of her. She recognizes it as the one Nozomi was talking about, and who should show up then but the girl herself, upset that Rin would come here without her. When she sees Momoi and starts to put together the pieces, Rin tries to deny what it looks like. Before they can try to settle the perceived misunderstanding, their food arrives, served by Bunbee. All of them instantly recognize each other, and Bunbee accuses Momoi of trying to become the Precure's new leader instead of him. Momoi rebuts this and accuses Bunbee of abandoning Eternal. Then he realizes that he has said all of this in front of Nozomi and Rin.

Realizing that the gig is up, he transforms into his monster form for the first time, so the best friends transform into Precure as well. Mucardia turns a table into a Hoshiina while  taunting them with their perceived weaknesses (their desire to help others) and says he deserves the Rose Pact, but Dream says that they want to answer Flora’s feelings, since she bestowed it to them. This speaks to Rouge. The pair are about to get attacked by the Hoshiina when Milky Rose kicks in, defending her friends’ motives, shortly followed by Cure Lemonade, and then Mint and Aqua. Mucardia tries to belittle the girls by revealing things he knows about them, and Rouge explains he was disguised as Momoi, but honestly the information he reveals to the girls is laughably insubstantial. The trio of fairies arrive, and Rose uses Metal Blizzard to destroy the Hoshiina. The cures perform Five Explosion on Mucardia, who tries to put up a barrier to defend himself, but as the attack starts to break through, he gives up and flees.

Later, back at Natts House, the bedazzled man that Rin saw at the beginning shows up with the little girl Rin helped, because he is the mysterious older brother she bequeathed the bracelet to. He explains that he wears whatever accessories his sister gives him, because that’s what makes her happy, and it makes him happy in turn. Rin tells Nuts that wearing things because it makes others happy is as good a reason as any, which he affirms is essentially what he was leading her towards earlier.  Nozomi turns to Rin and says that Rin puts all her strong feelings into making accessories, so she wants to wear them all as well, which makes Rin smile.

The Analysis

What I Liked

It’s a strong episode about Rin confronting some of her biases and assumptions about what she does and why people express themselves, how they dress. She realizes that it’s okay to wear things just because you like, or even because it makes other people happy. It’s kind of an off the wall lesson for this show in isolation, but for Rin’s character arc it’s poignant. Also, as a self-proclaimed Rin fan, I’m happy to see her get focus.

Nozomi and Rin’s friendship receives a wonderful boost in this episode, as they’re shown to be paying attention to each other’s interests and looking out for one another even when it outwardly looks like they’re talking past each other. Rin seems dismissive when Nozomi brings up the pastry shop she wants them to go to because she wants to talk about the man with accessories, but she recognizes it when she’s out and about. While not the same, Nozomi clearly cares about Rin’s passion for jewelry, as stated when she tells her best friend how she wants to wear all of the accessories she makes.

The ep comes close to mocking people with lots of piercings and jewelry but stopped short. That’s a weird thing to put in the positives column, but considering the way it turns around and shows that the reason the man wears all the accessories is for his sister, it’s a clever bait and switch. I should also point out the subtle but on-brand bucking of gender roles when the child insists that her brother will love Rin’s bracelet, even though it’s a stereotypically girly design. He is indeed later shown wearing it.

It’s good, and funny, to see Bunbee at least trying to make an honest living for himself out of Eternal. When confronted, he doesn’t even try to put up a fight, even though he could probably still summon a Hoshiina. He just runs off. On the other side of the Eternal coin, Mucardia’s true design is very intimidating in the right ways. Was it worth all the build-up? Perhaps not. He’s similar to Bloody from last season, the last and strongest general to show up who tends to do things his own way and doesn’t transform until the 40s. 

The fight against Mucardia was chef’s kiss. The art quality in this episode is overall very strong. There's some animation tricks to keep it under budget, but it moves well when and where it needs to. The gallery contains stitched versions of several panning shots for you to check out.

What I DIdn’t Like

Rin. Girl. Come on. Come ON. You can do so, so much better than this guy. Even putting aside his allegiances, all he does on this date is belittle her compassion and probe her for weaknesses. The nameless man wearing all the accessories would have been a better match, because at least he shows kindness. The fandom joke is that everyone else is paired up, but nobody loves Rin, because her romantic interests across both seasons have been:

a college man who she thought was hitting on her, but was actually buying flowers for his girlfriend

A ghost who thought she was his lover

some boys in the first movie who were intimidated by her athletic ability

and now a creepy man who is actually an unapologetic major villain. (this)

Mucardia felt like he got the idiot ball this episode. He’s so far been shown to be the shrewdest mind in Eternal, hatching devious plots with the Precures none the wiser (although, his game show gig was pretty unnecessarily elaborate). Suddenly he’s just directly asking Rin what everyone’s weaknesses are and accidentally outs himself in front of her?

I believe I’ve spoken about this before, but the jewelry maker that Rin uses…. Look, I know it’s a toy plug. I’m sure it’s great fun for kids, and has good tactile feedback. But not only could she easily string together the chain bracelets just as quickly by hand, but the color and shape of the links inside the machine doesn’t even match the solid pink bracelet that she shows off as having made. Have some consistency.

Miscellaneous

King Montblanc does not appear in this episode.

Milk does not appear in her fairy form in this episode.

Mucardia’s monster form is themed after a centipede, and his name is derived from “Mukade” for the same.

The man who wears all the accessories is voiced by Ono Daisuke, a popular voice actor likely best known for playing Sebastian in Black Butler, Kujo Jotaro in Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, and Erwin Smith in Attack on Titan. He will go on to play a character in the Happiness Charge Precure movie. His sister is played by Shitaya Noriko, whose most prominent role is as Matou Sakura in the Fate series, and Tsumugiya Ururu in Bleach. She has no other Precure roles to her name.

Conclusion

As the series starts to clear out the remaining villains in the ramp up to the final arc, it was time to have Mucardia step into the spotlight. I wish he could have had a better reveal after all his buildup, but despite this the episode is truly great overall with great character dynamics and Rin showing her best side.

Next time, on Precure Daily, the girls have to find out whether Arabian Nights really are like Arabian days. Look forward to it!

Pink Precure catchphrase count: 0 kettei!

[bracketsoffear]

Columbo (Columbo) "A shrewd but inelegant blue-collar homicide detective whose trademarks include his shambling manner, rumpled beige raincoat, cigar and off-putting, relentless investigative approach. Columbo was the master of perp sweating. Though he generally settles on his horse from the outset, he never lets on, instead worming his way into their confidence via fawning adulation, begging their assistance as he "solves" the case. Usually he forces them to weave a huge web of lies until he can finally pull the thread — justified because he's always right. Without letting on that he suspects the perp, he'd have long, seemingly innocuous conversations with the murderer who would get more and more frustrated as they tried to get this annoying man to go away, and thus already be off-balance when the topic turned to holes in their cover-up. Columbo's favorite move was seeming to leave once the suspect thought they'd thrown him off the scent, then turning around and adding "Just one more thing," knocking them on their heels. He's overly nice to people in a bloodhound sort of way; he convinces people that he's just a country bumpkin more interested in whatever 'hat' the villain wears than solving the crime, only to reveal in the end a cold detachment and clinical mind that the bumpkin persona allowed free rein. He plays with the feelings of the criminals, making them like him (more often than not) or at least pity him and drop their guard, or he pushes them subtly and continuously to the point where they break. He attributes his success to merely working harder, thinking longer, and looking closer than anyone else would. However, Columbo has solved every case put before him onscreen (he sometimes claims that he only solves about a third total, but this could well be part of the humility act) and hasn't gotten his man only once — in which case the perp was dying anyway. In true classic mystery fashion, each episode wraps up with the Lieutenant confronting his prey with his train of deduction, culminating in the vital clue; the perp may not confess, but they know, and the viewer knows, they have been beaten. He also possesses an encyclopedic knowledge on some subjects, which he usually hides, and has explained to colleagues that his wife believes there is "something wrong" with him."

Jadis (Kill Six Billion Demons) "Jadis was born into a family of philosopher royalty who saw the Shape of the Universe as an experiment to study and dissect; they wasted ten generations in their efforts to witness the Shape (something that boiled a goddess’ eyes to see) and obtain all the secrets of Creation, a task she was prophecised to complete. She successfully saw the Shape, but it proved to be a thing beyond mortal ken and Jadis was shattered in both mind and body. She now exists inside a block of glass, a decaying, unmoving corpse, whispering prophecies with her perfect, terrible knowledge and worshipped by a cult devoted to recording and intepreting her whispers (and occasionally mis-interpreting them) while keeping their God-Queen alive. Book 5 demonstrates that, like the author has said, “Jadis knows the most, in fact. Of anyone. Ever”…and it has utterly destroyed her. Her perfect knowledge left her a deeply jaded, nihilistic woman who feels her actions, choices, and even her own identity (and everyone else's) are rendered completely moot when compared to the full shape of the universe. As someone who is ignorant of nothing, Jadis' limits are absolute and she is incapable of anything she hasn't already predicted will happen. She can't choose to do anything, because her decisions and their outcomes are already known to her. The alt text and some of her lines in her section of Breaker of Infinites discuss how if you can see everything, anything in it just becomes meaningless, unidentifiable noise in the infinite detail of it all: “When you see everything, there’s only one color left.” Jadis straight-up tells Allison that she, Jadis, does not exist in any meaningful sense because she can't tell where the lines between the Shape of the Universe and even her own mind are anymore. Consequently, Jadis tries to convince Allison to stop her mission to stop the destruction of the multiverse because she’s convinced that fighting is futile and meaningless in the end, so she should surrender instead of choosing more suffering. She takes Allison to see the machine that showed her the Shape, tells her the exact time from then she will die, comments on a personal detail of Allison’s past, and says what she’s doing before she does it (to make it creepier, her predictions were in the alt text several pages before). She then shows Allison the Shape and gives her a breaking speech to try and convince her to give up, and eventually talks Allison into accepting futility for months before she gets her shit together. Allison eventually realizes that Jadis is unable to change or recover from the traumas of her past because she no longer has a past - her perfect knowledge of everything that ever is, was, and will be means that she is constantly, continually reliving the complete and total despair that hit her when she saw the Shape and realized the futility of everything, and will do so for as long as she exists. Jadis wanted to know, believing that she could use her wisdom for the greater good, but the horrible knowledge she gained by seeing literally everything ever destroyed her so completely that she cannot comprehend being a person or making choices anymore--she has thus trapped herself in nihilistic certainty that she knows what’s going to happen and therefore nothing matters, and she wants to impress that mindset onto the only person she can even share her omniscience with anymore."

[fandoms-in-law]

Stories Chapter 5

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4

Summary: In which Steve takes a few friends paint shopping and makes an awkward comment to try ensuring 2 know he's a safe space

authors note is added at the end

/\/\

"So let me get this right," Robin started, clearly ready to rant as Steve led her, Eddie and Will into the home decoration store. "You scoff and let both me and Eddie go through subtly bringing redecorating up to you, act like it all has to be theoretical and are now, not a week later, taking not just us but Will off to get paints and see how much redoing your bathroom might cost? Why Will? And when did you tell him anything about this when we said no kids involved?"

Steve shrugged at her. "I need him to help with a couple rooms. He's just getting the tiny pots of paint and all I've decided on is the bathroom and colours I'd like the rooms to be. Also you two decided to do it that way because you knew I'm just as likely to try making my house fit your tastes as I am to let the kids take over if they try to."

"It's my turn to be Steve's favourite anyway. Dustin and Max keep refusing to let anyone else have the chance." Will agreed.

Eddie grinned,nodding at the statement before nudging Steve. "Come on then. Tell us why Will is oh so essential to your home redesign? What can't the three of us achieve?"

"A decent looking mural. I've asked him to do two and his sketches after I tried describing my idea when I called the Byers last night look awesome already." He explained easily.

That gets him a frown and Eddie reaching for his bag, forgetting it was left in Steve's car. "I'll show you that I could do that later." He states instead.

The other three all pause at that before Steve smiles widely. "Better idea. I'll commission you to do a painting I can get framed to replace the one in the dining room. I know you've been covering my parents portrait up every time you're around. Work with Will if you want ideas of what will work since one of the murals is opposite it."

Robin smiled at him now, her teasing annoyance over the redecorating plans going differently than she expected forgotten in curiosity over what he'd chosen. "Come on, give us the list of colours we're looking for. I know you have one if you did this planning without us." she nudged his shoulder. "And I want to see what you decided."

"Only so I can have some peace in here: Have some swatches to find. Eddie gets some too and we'll split up to see who finds their colours first. Meet at Will in the tester pots section." He offered them over, not bothering to explain the stars indicating the colours he wanted. It seemed clear enough that neither of his friends would try getting all the colours on a swatch.

...

Steve was last to meet up with them and by the time he did he was muttering under his breath, more frustrated than he would be by an out of the blue demand for a lift from Henderson that could have been mentioned far earlier.

"Were those colours that difficult to find?" Robin began, ready to tease but hesitating so she could check on him.

"The bathroom fitters don't give straight answers and didn't much like me saying I could go to a gay bar and get clearer replies than their hemming." He grumbled. "In good news, I should be able to afford to get the bathroom I want done. In annoying news, I'm going to have to find anywhere but here to do it since they seem to be homophobes as well as missing braincells."

Robin nodded slowly, ignoring Will and Eddie staring as if utterly confused by the sentence Steve just shared. "So you can have your corner tub deep into the floor of your bathroom?"

"That I can. Also either of you know if there actually is a gay bar around? So I can see if anyone there has recommendations for plumbers or bathroom refitting?" Steve continued glancing from Robin to Eddie.

At both of them shaking their heads in disbelief and Robin elbowing him again he dropped the subject with another grin. He'd checked before speaking at all that the area was empty of people other than their group and kept speaking quietly the entire time, but had deliberately mentioned it, trying to confirm he was safe to both Eddie and Will. It had been something he'd thought about recently when Robin mentioned she hadn't come out to anyone other than him and didn't want to just over a crush; that in a place like Hawkins, even with their trauma bonded family, his friends still couldn't be sure everyone was safe and Steve knew that even if he couldn't make everyone prove themselves accepting, he could at least make himself a safe place for others.

Eddie grinned back at him. "Can't say I do, not any that's nearby at least,but we could get recommendations from around the trailer park. I know who's cool already and even if you get overcharged for rich area privilege I bet it'd be cheaper than somewhere like here, looking for the wealthy home renovators, quoted." He offered instead.

"Mum and Hopper probably have some recommendations too." Will quietly spoke up, holding his sketchbook up for Steve to see before pointing out various tester pots in the colours he wanted. "How many of these can I have for the mural?"

...

"Do homes really take this much paint? It looks like there's no way you could ever use all of this." Eddie groaned, looking over the checkout with all the paints they'd collected over it.

Steve shrugged, "Not a clue, but I did check guides on how much a can will cover for the amounts I asked you to get of each colour and as you're all fond of reminding me, my house is big."

"I'm drawing pictures on your walls and then filling the gaps in if you seriously think I can stand just painting a wall in one colour." Eddie warned, grinning to show it was mostly teasing.

He got a laugh in reply. "That's why we've got paint rollers to make it quicker to do, but sure, go wild with it and see if the things you draw can still be spotted after everything is the same colour."

"Hey Dingus, stop chatting and help with putting this all back in the trolley. I swear your brat got a mini pot of every colour in existence." Robin grabbed their attention from where his paints were now being scanned.

"Will isn't a brat. He's an occasionally brutal angel compared to the rest of them, except maybe El." Steve corrected while squeezing past the trolley to help as requested.

...

"So this is actually being made into a home after all these years?" Hopper asked, stood outside of Steve's house only there to drop Will off but smiling and clearly ready to wait and chat if he wasn't about to volunteer to help with the painting.

Steve nodded, "Doesn't seem real, but apparently believing it's my biggest challenge yet."

Most of their group would argue, point to Russians or anything the Upside down had thrown at them to contradict him, but Hop just sighed. "Guess so. Making big changes deliberately instead of letting them happen around you is always tough."

"I did want to ask you something though." Steve hesitated now, knowing Hopper was the best person to ask the thought that had been in his head since he spoke to Jonathan about owning his home, but unsure if it would change anything.

He got a nod encouraging him to continue after a moments silence though. "Is there a way to contact Doctor Owens? The fact I have this place and nobody else seemed to get quite this much doesn't sit right so I want to challenge the unfairness with him."

"I've got a number for him but most of the time he just shows up after everything has gone to shit and been fought back." Hopper admits, moving towards the house. "But for now, let's get at least part of your house properly painted. I bet none of your friends have ever painted a wall in your lives."

Steve grinned at him, "No, but it doesn't seem too hard. We are just aiming for a flat colour, other than Will."

"You'd think so, but I'll show you the knack to it." Hopper grinned, rolling his shoulders and following the noise of voices through to Steve's living room.

...

Having new colours on the walls unnerved Steve. He'd be doing something and then pause wondering why the light was different for a moment before remembering. It felt kind of ridiculous to realise but just repainting the walls changed how the house felt completely.

"What's going on?" Dustin stared at the hallway through to the living room as if something would attack him.

This was the first clue and only possibility that the kids beyond Will would realise Steve owned the house early and he'd mentally been preparing himself to tell the most useful lie in avoiding demands to interfere.

"My parents barged in last week, said this friend of theirs was saying how unfashionable their decor was of the flat they keep in the city so apparently every property including this house needs redecorating urgently." Steve groused. "I'm just hoping it stops with repainting."

"Does that include your room? Cause anything has to be better than that wallpaper." Dustin immediately asks. "Actually, can I see how they've done your room? I need to judge it."

"They haven't done anything to it yet but they will and hell no. You lost any chance to look around when you decided to snoop and invade my privacy when I wasn't even here. You are restricted to the living room alone." Steve countered, unsurprised when he felt someone leaning over his shoulder a moment later. Honestly part of him wanted to show off the changes, and forget about Dustin rooting through his notebooks but Will had started with the mural in his room. If the ruse that this was dictated by his parents was going to continue then none of the other kids could see that. 

Eddie had been in the kitchen with Robin catching up and joking about their dream homes so both had probably heard that Dustin had arrived for Hellfire now. 

"Yes Dusty-buns, a few weeks does not erase the memory of that. Why are you here an hour early anyway?" Eddie cooed, reaching over Steve's shoulder to remain draped on him while messing up Dustin's hair.

"Will keeps mentioning coming round to help Steve with something and I'm his little brother. I should be the one doing all this helping." He glared at them, ready to argue just as much as actually ask what Steve needs help for that he wouldn't be approached about first. 

Steve grinned at that too, shrugging as he headed through to where Hellfire would soon be playing. "Don't think you can, Henderson. The Byers are the experts in art and photography. You're my audio and tech expert and honestly, the sound system I have is already good and the radio works fine."

"So what? You're actually getting a say in what's done?" Dustin scoffed. "That means you need my help even more. Let me see your room a so I can-" 

"Shut up. So you can shut up cause whatever say Steve does or doesn't get in how anything is decorated does not need dictating by you, shithead." Eddie interrupted, pushing off Steve to shove Dustin through to the living room. 

...

authors note: No I don't know or remember what I thought Steve spoke with the bathroom dept about, just that the comments online about lesbians being good at home repairs was in my head. The idea that that's how Steve tries to show Eddie and Will he's either an ally or part of the lgbtq+ is now just a scene I love because of its awkwardness

Chapter 6

[90363462]

Taylor Swift Has Spent 16 Years Subtly Telling Us Super Intimate Details About Other Celebrities In Her Music. Here’s Everything That We’ve Learned So Far.

We all know the songs about Kimye and Jake Gyllenhaal, but piecing together details from Taylor’s entire body of work actually gives us a much deeper insight into the world of celebrity and popular culture.

Stephanie SoteriouPosted 8 hours ago

Over the last 16 years, she’s faced fierce scrutiny for taking her life experiences and turning them into Grammy Award–winning songs, namely because many involve her love interests. But, contrary to popular belief, Taylor doesn’t just sing about her ex- and current lovers — she actually memorializes her entire life through music.

This includes her childhood memories, high school friendships, and family values — as well as the platonic feuds and fallouts that she has endured along the way.

But by writing about her real life, which just so happens to involve a plethora of famous faces, Taylor’s entire body of work serves as a treasure trove of insight into the world of celebrity and popular culture.

While it is easy for the casual listener to hear “Style,” “All Too Well,” and “Look What You Made Me Do” and come to some generic conclusions about Harry Styles, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Kimye, what many don’t realize is that multiple songs, when pieced together, actually form a much deeper story.

So in honor of the release of Taylor’s 10th studio album, Midnights, I have taken it upon myself to tell that story.

But, before we get into it, I can’t disclaim enough that lyrical interpretation is subjective and that Taylor very rarely reveals who her songs are about. She does, however, actively encourage fans to connect clues and Easter eggs about the subjects of her songs. This article is the result of thorough research, fan theories, and widespread conclusions, but nothing is 100% confirmed.

So, let’s delve into everything that Taylor Swift’s music has secretly taught us about other celebrities.

Taylor’s first high-profile relationship was with Joe Jonas in 2008. They were 18 when they started dating in July, but it famously ended with a 25-second phone call in October.

According to Taylor’s songs “Mr. Perfectly Fine” and “Forever & Always,” Joe told her he’d been waiting for her all of his life, vowed to never leave, and even dropped the L-word.

In “Last Kiss,” Taylor recalls falling for Joe because of his confidence, charm, and respect for her parents, which is referenced by the way that he shook her dad’s hand upon their first meeting.

Taylor called Joe “the life of the party” and credited him for pulling her out of her shell by encouraging her to dance with him. Taylor flew out to Texas to watch the Jonas Brothers in concert on July 9, and this date is also name-checked in the song. But things went downhill quickly when Joe began to ghost her.

The singer ultimately found herself staring at her phone as she waited for his call, but that’s probably something she regrets because when he finally did make contact he brutally dumped her.

Speaking on The Ellen DeGeneres Show in 2008, Taylor said of their failed relationship: “When I find that person that is right for me, he’ll be wonderful. And when I look at that person, I’m not even gonna be able to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 25 seconds when I was 18.”

The worst part for Taylor was the “casually cruel” way Joe had acted as though he hadn’t done anything wrong after dumping her, and she accused him of issuing an “insincere apology” just so that he could look like the good guy.

And while Joe appeared to be “perfectly fine” after their split, Taylor struggled immensely and would wear his clothes around the house because she was so devastated.

But Taylor and Joe eventually managed to salvage a friendship and are now on good terms. In fact, in her 2020 song “Invisible String” Taylor recalls sending a gift to Joe and his now-wife Sophie Turner when their first daughter was born.

While Joe didn’t turn out to be the love of Taylor’s life, the pain that he caused her actually led to an eerie premonition in her 2010 song “Last Kiss,” where she sings: “Your name forever the name on my lips.”

As fate would have it, she wasn’t wrong, and she has been seriously loved up with another Joe — Joe Alwyn — since 2016. But we’ll get to that later.

After splitting from Joe, Taylor entered one of the most formative years of her life.

It was, after all, September 2009 when Kanye West stormed the VMAs stage as she attempted to accept her Best Female Video award, snatched the mic from her hand, and said Beyoncé should have won instead.

In her 2010 song “Back To December,” Taylor revealed that she had burst into tears backstage after the incident and was comforted by her then-boyfriend, Taylor Lautner, who had presented her with the award alongside Shakira.

In the track, which appeared on her album Speak Now, Taylor shares intimate details about how he supported her through the ordeal, recounting: “How you held me in your arms that September night / The first time you ever saw me cry.”

The two Taylors had only just met on the set of Valentine’s Day that summer, but a reference to her realizing the strength of her feelings “in the fall” suggests that the VMAs incident was the catalyst for them falling in love.

Unfortunately, they split in December, and Taylor had massive remorse over failing to realize how special the actor was until it was too late. In fact, in a rare feat for the exes referenced in Taylor’s music, Lautner comes away without a single bad word said about him.

As for Kanye, Taylor was initially willing to forgive him for the VMAs incident and approached the situation from a level of understanding. In her 2010 song “Innocent,” Taylor tries to speak to the rapper’s inner child and accepts that life can be tough, even at 32 — Kanye’s age at the time of the ceremony.

But this was far from the end of Taylor and Kanye’s run-ins, and she’d later hugely regret the forgiveness and grace she showed him here.

Almost immediately after breaking up with Lautner in December 2009, Taylor ignored the warnings from the people around her and started dating John Mayer.

John is 13 years older than Taylor, who was just 19 at the time, which is probably why her mom thought that she was “losing her mind” when she struck up a relationship with him.

Others told Taylor to “run as fast as you can” away from the singer, but she didn’t understand their problematic relationship dynamic until after the fact, and reflected on this in her 2010 song “Dear John.”

With hindsight, Taylor believes that John took advantage of her and treated her in a way that she was too young to understand. She found herself walking on eggshells, afraid of upsetting him because his moods were unpredictable. He would regularly flip between being warm and loving and cold and distant.

Taylor went so far as to accuse John of having a “sick need to give love then take it away,” and ultimately regretted their entire relationship, which ended in February 2010.

Four months after their split, Taylor had an awkward encounter with John when they were seated near each other at the CMT Music Awards, which inspired her song “The Story Of Us.”

She told USA Today: “‘The Story of Us’ is about running into someone I had been in a relationship with at an awards show, and we were seated a few seats away from each other. I just wanted to say to him, ‘Is this killing you? Because it’s killing me.’ But I didn’t. Because I couldn’t. Because we both had these silent shields up. I went home and I sat there at the kitchen table and I said to my mom, ‘I felt like I was standing alone in a crowded room.’”

And despite the age gap presenting a problem in her relationship with John, Taylor went on to date another older man at the end of 2010.

Jake Gyllenhaal has arguably faced the most scrutiny of any subject of Taylor’s work, with the backlash intensifying last year following the release of “All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version)” and its accompanying short film.

Taylor was 20 and Jake was 29 when they began their on-again, off-again relationship, which has been referenced in several songs — including “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.”

The song describes Jake constantly “picking fights” as well as being obsessed with how he's perceived by others. And this preoccupation with appearing cool and trendy led to him regularly putting Taylor down, diminishing her interests, laughing at her aspirations, and rolling his eyes at her jokes.

Discussing the ex who inspired “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” Taylor told USA Today: “He made me feel like I wasn’t as good or as relevant as these hipster bands he listened to. So I made a song that I knew would absolutely drive him crazy.”

In “I Bet You Think About Me,” Taylor also exposes Jake’s fear of aging and no longer being “hip” before admitting that she was unable to fit in with his circle of friends. This also appeared in the All Too Well short film, where the woman protagonist tries and ultimately fails to fit in with her partner’s friends at a dinner party.

In the song, Taylor says that Jake’s “Brooklyn broke [her] skin and bone,” suggesting that trying to keep up with his coolness ultimately wore her down.

The pressure of the relationship was so intense that Taylor ended up breaking down in tears in the bathroom of a showbiz party in 2010, with it being widely assumed she was consoled by Anne Hathaway.

In “All Too Well,” Taylor refers to the woman who comforted her as “some actress,” but the timeline appears to perfectly coincide with Anne’s recollection of meeting Taylor.

The actor, who has worked with Jake in the past, said of Taylor in a 2015 interview: “She just seems to be following her heart. I met her — I hope it’s OK to say this — when she and Jake were together. She was 20 at the time, and we hung out one night. I was like, ‘You are a magnificent creature.’”

In addition to Jake’s obsession with seeming trendy, he was also insecure about his height while dating Taylor. The actor is 5'11", and Taylor is 5'10", and in her song “Begin Again” she references the fact that he didn’t like her wearing high heels.

Taylor described Jake’s family life in her songs, too, recalling his mom embarrassing him by showing her old photos and telling childhood stories about him on the T-ball team.

Earlier this year, Taylor also seemingly confirmed a long-standing theory that Jake was the first person she had sex with — and the moment happened at his sister Maggie Gyllenhaal's house.

In the opening verse of “All Too Well,” Taylor sings: “I left my scarf there at your sister’s house / And you’ve still got it in your drawer even now.” She later revisits the theme with the line: “But you keep my old scarf / From that very first week / Because it reminds you of innocence / And smells like me / You can’t get rid of it.”

Many believed that the scarf was actually a metaphor for her virginity, and in September, Taylor became visibly flustered when she was asked about its meaning at the Toronto International Film Festival. She confirmed that it was indeed a metaphor, and then awkwardly added: “Um…And I think when I say it’s a metaphor, I’m just going to stop…and I’m going to say thanks for the incredible question to whoever asked it, you’ve really taken us for a ride with that one, thank you.”

Jake also spent time with Taylor’s family and managed to win over her dad by telling “self-effacing jokes” over coffee. But Mr. Swift ultimately turned on Jake when he stood Taylor up on her 21st birthday, almost two months into their relationship.

This milestone event is the stuff of legend within the Taylor fandom, with the All Too Well short film reflecting Taylor being dramatically let down by Jake’s no-show at the party while surrounded by her innermost circle.

In 2014, a source told RadarOnline: “The day before — all was set — he was coming, no issues. But the day of, she doesn’t hear from him at all. No texts, no calls. Taylor thought maybe he was planning some sort of surprise. Nope. He didn’t show up and she locked herself in the bathroom and cried the entire night.”

And this is all but confirmed in Taylor’s 2012 song “The Moment I Knew,” in which she recalls being glammed up in her party dress as friends asked her about Jake before becoming bitterly disappointed and heartbroken at the realization he wasn’t going to show.

Ultimately, Jake broke up with Taylor because of their age gap, even telling her the relationship may have worked if they'd been closer in age. However, he ended up regretting the decision, repeatedly calling and begging for another chance.

In fact, Jake didn’t tell Taylor that he loved her until three months after they had broken up, and in “I Bet You Think About Me,” Taylor appears to find great joy in the fact that Jake realized that she is “harder to forget” than she “was to leave.”

Despite that small slither of solace, Taylor also admitted she battled with wanting to take Jake back while being unable to forgive or forget the pain he’d caused on her 21st birthday. To protect herself from reopening old wounds, Taylor ignored Jake’s texts and phone calls but expressed concern in “I Almost Do” that he would think she hated him or had moved on.

But it’s not all bad — Jake ruining Taylor’s 21st birthday inspired her to make a really big deal out of her 22nd, which is reflected in her song “22.”

The upbeat pop song follows “All Too Well” on the Red tracklist, and for years, fans had been confused by the emotional whiplash of that sequence. But when last year’s extended version of “All Too Well” provided additional details about Taylor’s 21st, her desire to reclaim her birthday via “22” immediately after the heartbreak anthem suddenly made perfect sense.

After Jake, Taylor went on to date Harry Styles from late 2012 to early 2013. They were widely reported to have had a brief fling in the spring of 2012, which came crashing down after Harry kissed somebody else in New Zealand. But they reconciled later that year.

In her 2014 song “How You Get The Girl,” Taylor admits to secretly hoping that Harry would show up at her door and apologize for the way that he had behaved while begging for another chance.

And it appears she got her wish, with Taylor revealing he did reach out again in the song “Style.” In the same track, she admits to being reluctant to give Harry a second chance because of his reputation, but she ends up being sucked back in by his charm.

(As a sidenote, Taylor previously acknowledged how obvious the subject of “Style” is thanks to its title, telling Rolling Stone: “We should have just called it ‘I’m Not Even Sorry.’”)

Harry and Taylor’s fame made their relationship difficult from the offset. In “I Know Places,” Taylor recalls “vultures circling,” with people desperate to get a piece of them.

In fact, Taylor became so exhausted by the constant attention that “Out Of The Woods” recounts a moment where she tried to end their relationship, believing she was “setting” Harry “free,” only for him to convince her to stay.

And in perhaps the finest example of the intel we get from Taylor’s music, the same song reveals that she and Harry were in a snowmobile accident together that, somehow, never got out to the press.

Fans were confused when Harry was pictured with a bandage over his chin in December 2012 following his and Taylor’s trip to a ski resort, but further details didn’t come to light until Taylor revealed them herself on 1989.

It turns out that the accident happened after Harry “hit the brakes too soon,” resulting in a hospital dash where they both cried as he got stitches.

Taylor later revealed that there were around four other people at the hospital who all promised not to tell anybody about what had happened, and — surprisingly — they were true to their word.

She also said she included the anecdote in the song to remind the press and public that they aren’t privy to everything she does. “People think they know the whole narrative of my life,” she shared. “I think maybe that line is there to remind people that there are really big things they don’t know about.”

Harry and Taylor broke up shortly after the snowmobile incident, but him later buying a house a couple of blocks away made her reflect on what could have been if he’d been able to commit.

It was around this time that Taylor’s feud with Katy Perry exploded. This was referenced in “Bad Blood,” where Taylor describes how their “mad love” for one another completely shattered.

While the pair were publicly friendly from 2009, attending birthday parties and joining each other onstage, 2013 saw them clashing over some backing dancers, and chaos ensued.

The story goes that three of the dancers on Taylor’s Red tour left before it ended so that they could join Katy on her Prismatic tour instead. Taylor told Rolling Stone that she felt like Katy had “tried to sabotage” her.

And this was reiterated in “Bad Blood,” where Taylor says that Katy purposefully “hit” her where she was “weak” and claims that she’d never recover from the long-lasting wound of the betrayal. Taylor also references her upset over this betrayal coming from someone she’d shared such good memories with.

While Taylor appeared to insist that she and Katy would never be able to resolve their issue, time proved to be a healer, and Katy had a cameo in Taylor’s 2019 music video for “You Need To Calm Down,” which the two women hoped would be “a symbol of redemption and forgiveness.”

But the same truce has not yet been called between Taylor and her former best friend Karlie Kloss, who Taylor seemingly confirmed that she’d fallen out with in a 2016 essay for Elle.

While the exact details of the fallout are unclear, it appears that Taylor caught Karlie speaking negatively behind her back.

In her 2020 song “It’s Time To Go,” Taylor sings: “When the words of a sister come back in whispers / That prove she was not in fact what she seemed / Not a twin from your dreams / She’s a crook who was caught.”

After their fallout, Karlie would subtly align herself with Taylor’s enemies — including Kanye, Kim, and Katy — through pointed Instagram captions and comments in interviews. Celebrity blogger Perez Hilton later claimed that Karlie had leaked personal information about Taylor to Scooter Braun, whom Taylor has since branded her “nemesis.”

Many Swifties are also convinced that the 2020 song “Closure” is about Karlie. If this is the case, then it appears that Karlie wrote Taylor a letter to apologize while the singer was spending time in London with boyfriend Joe Alwyn.

Karlie seemingly acknowledged that she was in the wrong and expressed guilt over how she’d treated Taylor. However, Taylor has no interest in forgiveness and said that even seeing the model's name on the correspondence caused her pain.

Taylor accused Karlie of issuing a “fake” apology in order to absolve herself of the guilt from the past so that she can move on.

Meanwhile, Taylor and Karlie’s fallout appeared to coincide with Taylor’s breakup with DJ Calvin Harris, whom she dated for 15 months between 2015 and 2016. But despite the pretty lengthy romance, there’s very few songs about Calvin in Taylor’s discography apart from the aptly named “I Forgot That You Existed,” which appears to reference their split.

The breakup came shortly before the climax of Taylor’s infamous feud with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West over the rapper’s song “Famous,” which includes the controversial lyric, “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous.”

At the time, Kanye insisted that Taylor had approved the line, but her publicist maintained that she’d not been made aware that he’d refer to her as “that bitch.”

In July 2016, Kim uploaded a Snapchat video documenting a phone call between Kanye and Taylor, in which they discussed the song and she appeared to give her approval — however, it didn’t show Kanye consulting Taylor on the use of the word “bitch.”

As a direct result of the leak, Taylor took an extended break from the public eye after her social media pages were flooded with snake emojis while the hashtag #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty began trending worldwide. She did not return to the limelight until the release of her 2017 album Reputation.

Here, Taylor reflected on what had happened between her and Kimye, and even admitted that until that point she’d been on friendly terms with the rapper since the 2009 VMAs incident.

Taylor believed that she was giving him a second chance and was left hurt when he stabbed her in the back. She was also convinced that Kanye deliberately recorded their conversation intending to set her up — something she referenced in the album's title track, “Look What You Made Me Do.”

In “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things,” Taylor points out that “friends don’t try to trick you” and accuses Kanye of getting her on the phone to “mind-twist” her. Later in the song, she reveals that one of the only people she could confide in at that time was her mom, who “had to listen” to all the “drama.”

She also believes that Kimye purposefully manipulated information to their benefit to bring her down while she was at her peak. In “Call It What You Want,” Taylor brands them “liars” and says she was completely caught off guard by the “overnight” demise of her reputation.

Taylor continued to call out Kimye in her subsequent albums, and in “Mad Woman,” she appears to suggest that the former couple’s mutual vendetta against her is what kept them together for so long.

In the song, she also suggests that Kim did Kanye’s “dirtiest work” by leaking the audio, before pointedly adding: “It’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together.”

But while Reputation highlighted her anger and desire for revenge on Kimye, Taylor later realized the pair would ruin themselves without her input.

Since #Snakegate, Kim has filed for divorce from Kanye, and his reputation has plummeted. In 2020’s “Long Story Short,” Taylor reflects on this and wishes she could tell her past self not to waste so much time on “petty” feuds, singing: “Your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing.”

Despite this, Kim and Kanye did drastically change the course of Taylor’s history and triggered some other important events that arguably led her directly to the happy and peaceful life she so values now.

As mentioned, Taylor broke up with Calvin shortly before the Kimye drama. And, as it all unfolded, Calvin made a series of shady comments about her, including the snipe that he is glad to be “free” from her, and wore sneakers designed by Kanye.

Taylor says she felt she was living “in the shade” Calvin was “throwing” at her lowest point and accused him of getting the “popcorn” the minute her reputation “crumbled.”

She added that she’d have behaved differently in Calvin’s shoes, remaining his biggest cheerleader even if he failed to sell any tickets to his concerts.

And this is particularly interesting because she later admitted to rarely spending time with Calvin and having little to no interest in his work.

In “Gorgeous,” Taylor says that Calvin is “in the club doing I don’t know what.” And the original lyric was just as telling: “I haven’t seen him in a couple of months.”

Taylor’s music also reveals that she actually wanted to split from Calvin long before pulling the plug but felt she “needed a reason” to leave him. So, she sought the “nearest lips” possible. Enter Tom Hiddleston.

The timeline of Taylor’s relationships with Calvin, Tom, and her current boyfriend Joe is confusing to even the most dedicated of Swifties, but her music does offer some insight into what went down.

Taylor met both Tom and Joe at the Met Gala in May 2016. At the time, she was still dating Calvin, and it was two months before Kim would leak that damning Snapchat video.

In short, Taylor purposefully tried to seduce Tom because she was looking for an excuse to end things with Calvin. As a result, she literally views the British actor as a “getaway car,” and in her 2017 song of the same name, she mirrors Calvin’s post-split remark about being free with a line describing feeling “the light of freedom” on her “face” once with Tom.

Interestingly, Tom is nine years older than Taylor, and in “Don’t Blame Me,” she admits to experimenting with older men and treating them as “playthings” for her “to use” at this point in her life.

This is a stark parallel to the way that she believes older men — such as John and Jake — treated her when she was much younger, suggesting that her past experiences had hardened her approach to dating.

Tom and Taylor spent most of their incredibly public but short-lived romance jetting around the world. In “I Did Something Bad,” Taylor suggests that Tom thought that he was doing her a favor by being in the relationship and viewed himself as her savior.

However, Tom’s desire for publicity led to Taylor questioning his intentions. According to reports at the time, Tom had asked Taylor to be his date for the Emmys, and when she expressed her concern about the backlash that came with their repeated PDAs, he didn’t back down.

Taylor ended up splitting with Tom over concerns he was using her status for his own benefit. But this also alleviated any guilt she may have felt about publicly calling him out in her songs, pointedly saying “if he drops my name then I owe him nothing.”

Despite the bravado, Taylor does appear to show some remorse in “Getaway Car,” where she repeatedly says “sorry” to Tom for how things panned out.

At the same time, though, she tells Tom that he should’ve recognized the relationship was a very obvious rebound from Calvin. In a clever reference to their first encounter at the Met Gala, Taylor says: “Should’ve known I’d be the first to leave / Think about the place where you first met me.”

And while she initially chose to date Tom after meeting him and Joe at the same time, she remained in touch with the latter over the summer and they began dating in October 2016.

Interestingly, Joe and Taylor seemed almost destined for each other, as “Bad Blood” was the first song he heard after landing in LA for the first time on a trip where he also happened to dine at her favorite restaurant.

When they finally did meet, it was the sound of his laughter followed by an English accent that caught Taylor’s attention. And while she played it cool at the time, she actually went home and googled his name.

She has also admitted to drunkenly poking fun at Joe’s accent as well as purposefully avoiding him because she was so overwhelmed by attraction. In fact, the attraction was so intense that she even had mixed feelings about him being available. On the one hand, she’d be jealous of a potential girlfriend, but, on the other, at least then she wouldn't have to decide whether to act on her feelings.

It isn’t clear whether Taylor and Joe overlapped with Tom in any way, but she has revealed that the pair played “cat and mouse” for a few months while they sussed one another out.

Despite Taylor clearly being secretly obsessed with Joe from day one, her 2019 song “Cruel Summer” suggests they had a more casual arrangement at the start of their relationship, with Joe being pretty blasé about the whole thing and both of them “playing games.”

In fact, Taylor became so concerned that Joe was leading her on that she almost ended things. But when he called her up and laid all his cards on the table, she took the plunge and jumped into the relationship.

In a bid to escape the publicity that her love life normally attracts, Taylor went to extreme lengths to keep their dates private and would take back entrances into dive bars to avoid being spotted.

Keep in mind, this was all going on when Taylor’s reputation was at its lowest. She had completely retreated from the spotlight after the Kimye feud, and one of the reasons that she trusted Joe is because he didn’t care that her public image had fallen apart.

And Joe ended up being the silver lining to this dark period in Taylor’s life. Despite experiencing the “worst times” of her professional career, she admits in “Call It What You Want:” “I’m doing better than I ever was.”

According to her songs, about one month after Taylor and Joe officially started dating, they escaped to a cabin together so she could process the Kimye drama. In a poignant callback to her time with Tom, Taylor invited Joe to join her with the caveat that he must understand that he doesn’t “need to save” her.

It was during this getaway that Taylor managed to find a way through the emotional turmoil of the summer and realize that she would eventually overcome it. And it seems that Joe was the wake-up call she needed to see that there’s more to life than fame and professional success.

In contrast to the glitz and glamor of showbiz, Taylor’s relationship with Joe is built on normalcy and embracing the little things of the everyday, right down to the mundane intimacy of cleaning up after a party with somebody who you love.

In fact, much of their time together is spent privately with their inner circles. In “Paper Rings,” Taylor reveals that she’d taken part in Joe’s long-standing family tradition of jumping into a freezing cold lake on Christmas Day after he encouraged her by taking the plunge first. In the same song, she reflects on how they’d painted a wall for Joe’s younger brother together.

“Lover” also highlights domesticity as a key component of their relationship, with tenderness and affection expressed in seemingly inconsequential situations like having friends stay over and making new traditions in their shared home.

And their normalcy is most exposed in “London Boy,” where Taylor details bonding with Joe’s close friends in London pubs over rugby and “stories from uni.” Through Joe, Taylor has also realized that she doesn’t care about expensive things and would rather just enjoy quality time together.

In “Invisible String,” Taylor reveals that she and Joe blend into the everyday so well that when they marked their third anniversary with a special lunch, the server didn’t realize who she was and instead thought that she was a regular woman who bore a striking resemblance to a pop star.

But just because Taylor can sometimes pass for a civilian, it doesn’t mean that she is. In fact, she’s often concerned that her relationship will collapse under the pressures of fame.

At the beginning of her relationship with Joe, Taylor questioned whether they were “stupid” to think that it could work out. In “The Archer,” she expresses her fear of deliberately sabotaging the relationship. In “Peace,” she’s scared that the drama surrounding her will eventually push Joe to leave.

“Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?" Taylor repeatedly asks him.

This fear is reiterated in the 2017 song “Dancing With Our Hands Tied,” where Taylor reveals that she had “a bad feeling” about the “world” tearing them apart when she was ambushed by paparazzi after months of hiding out with Joe. However, she carried on with the relationship regardless.

Ultimately, being with Joe has encouraged Taylor to take a step back from the limelight and enjoy a more low-key life. But it’s arguable that, were she not knocked from her pedestal by Kimye, she likely wouldn’t have been able to give the relationship the privacy it needed in order to survive.

The two have now been together for six years, and it seems like Taylor truly believes that Joe is The One, with the bridge of “Lover” literally consisting of wedding vows.

In fact, Joe ended up changing Taylor’s entire concept of what love is, with the star admitting in “Daylight” that she used to think love was “red” — fiery and passionate — but it’s actually “golden, like daylight.”

And it is a good thing that Taylor had established that genuine love and support from Joe by the time that she hit another low back in 2019, when she was betrayed by Scott Borchetta and Scooter Braun.

Scott helped launch Taylor’s career by signing her to his record label when she was 14 years old, and they worked so closely for 15 years that Taylor viewed him as family. But the relationship completely imploded when Scott refused to sell Taylor the master recordings of her first six albums before brokering a secret $300 million deal with Scooter in a move she’s called her “worst nightmare.”

Speaking to Rolling Stone at the time, Taylor said of Scott: “I thought I knew what betrayal felt like, but this stuff that happened with him was a redefinition of betrayal for me. To go from feeling like you’re being looked at as a daughter to this grotesque feeling of ‘Oh, I was actually his prized calf that he was fattening up to sell to the slaughterhouse that would pay the most.’”

And Taylor’s 2020 song “My Tears Ricochet” appears to be about this betrayal. In one standout line, she says that Scott had “turned into [his] worst fears,” suggesting that he’d once vowed not to become a stereotypical moneygrubbing record industry exec. She also mused that the pain he caused her would “ricochet,” leaving him with “sleepless nights.” This prompted her to cleverly describe her masters as “stolen lullabies.”

Taylor also told Entertainment Weekly that the song reflects on the fact that “this person that you trusted more than anyone in the world is the person that can hurt you the worst,” which is probably why she found herself unable to leave the situation “with grace.” She also maintains that no matter what had happened between them, she never deserved the “pain” that Scott caused.

She goes on to suggest that Scott prioritized trying to save his own skin in the fallout from the deal with Scooter, and that he will eventually regret his decision to choose profit over her, realizing that he should have kept her in his life — and career — forever.

This concept also appears in “It’s Time To Go,” where Taylor describes “begging” Scott to let her buy her masters until her “knees bled.” But she realizes now that although his “greed” secured her “past” for himself, she has the future — and that’s all that matters.

Scooter also doesn’t get away unscathed, with Taylor previously claiming that he had “incessantly bullied” and “manipulated” her for years — and had encouraged his clients, including Kanye, to do the same.

Taylor alludes to this manipulation in her song “Mad Woman,” where she accuses Scooter of purposefully antagonizing her until she retaliated in his bid to publicly brand her as “crazy” and “angry.”

She also suggests that Scooter exploits other singers for his own benefit and uses them as stepping stones in his career, even taking a jab at his personal life.

The 2020 song references cheating and preceded reports that Scooter had been unfaithful to his then-wife, Yael Cohen Braun, and had an affair with Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Erika Jayne.

So, as you can see, through epic songwriting skills and generous oversharing, Taylor has gifted us so much behind-the-scenes intel over the last 16 years.

We don’t yet know how many more hidden details lie in her new release, Midnights, out today. But I for one cannot wait to find them. ●

[subqtaneoussmut]

The Tea Girl's Gambit, Chapter 27

Aralia Cordivar stared broodingly out her enormous office window, onto a pale moonlit sea of rain-slicked slate and chimney brick. Memory was always ready to intrude, always trying to pour through her fingers. Usually she kept it stubbornly at bay, but tonight, for whatever reason, she was inclined to allow herself the sparkle of starlight, the heaving breath of the ocean.

~ ~ ~

It’s almost sunset in the southern reach of the Whistling Sea, and the whole western sky is a riot of blood orange and pink. There is a fine, stiff breeze that bellies out the canvas of the sails and makes them thrum.

The Damselfly blows through a spray of seawater and crashes down into the valley of another rolling swell. Aralia is newly thirteen, a gawky teenager. She stands on the quarterdeck, her sea legs rolling with her ship’s movements, and thinks she will never stop feeling tiny, in comparison to the ocean. Nothing else reminds her of this as much as the swelling waves—they’re just so big!

There is a shout from the girl up in the rigging, on lookout. She has seen something with her long-glass—three sails on the horizon. Aralia feels the pall of tension that drops like a curtain on the handful of crew that are moving about on deck. Everyone knows Imperiat frigates run in squadrons of three. Not one can resist turning to look, though they must know the sails will not yet be visible to the naked eye.

In front of her, Aralia sees the grim looks her aunts exchange. Her aunts Venti and Jacynth and Moa are the captains and navigators of the Damselfly, but they are also more than that. They are the heads of the families that crew the ship. They are Aralia’s teachers in more than several subjects. And they are the most wanted people in the known world, with the price on their heads increasing astronomically with every passing year. But, again, that is not all they are.

Right now, they look like three middle-aged Jyllish women with shadows under their eyes. Aralia, her heart beating faster now, glances at her friend, Kalista, standing beside her. Her aunties have been as rock solid as mountains for as long as she has been alive, and she feels shaken by the gravity in their faces, so she looks to Kalista, because Kalista will know what to do in a world that has come so unfixed and started to unravel.

Kalista is already sixteen, tall, graceful, and everything Aralia admires and wants to be. She is haliati, which means she has chosen to be a woman—has poured over it, considered it, unearthed it in a way that Aralia has not, a way that in truth Aralia has not had to—and the result is that now Aralia cannot dream of wanting to grow into any other kind of femininity but the one that she sees Kalista embodying.

Kalista has her weight shifted forward on her toes—she is listening to their aunties. Aralia copies her subtly.

“Well, that was fast,” sighs Jacynth.

Venti spits over the side. “We could lose them in the night.”

“Depends how many flares they’re willing to waste to find us.”

“Not worth the risk. If any of them are clipper-rigged, we’ll be boarded before dawn. We should tip again.”

“So soon? There is such a thing as too often,” warns Venti. “The risk compounds.”

“Tell that to my aching voice,” grumbles Jacynth. “I agree with Moa.”

Venti nodded slowly. “Kalista?”

The lean, dark, wolfish girl reaches forward and touches her elbow gently. Venti smiles back at her.

“Mea canat. Be a dear and fetch our lamien, will you? Tell them we need another one, but keep it calm, eh? Don’t let them stub their toes rushing up here.”

Kalista is off like an arrow, bare feet slapping the deck.

“Aralia, see to the drum and silver, please.”

Aralia feels inexhaustible as she drops down the ladder and careens around corners, down into the cramped, dim warren of the hold. Only by luck does she avoid a head-on collision with a small, fast, warm body running the other way.

“Aralia!” it gasps. “I was helping Esca with dinner. Is it them? Are they close?”

She reaches out and steadies him. “Careful, Pasha!” she breathes, though she was running just as reckless. Pasha is haliati, younger by two years, and for the last few months he has been excitedly telling everyone that he wants to be something like a boy, searching and sifting through the words and symbols of the several languages he knows, trying to share about what his desire feels like to him.

“There are three sails on the horizon. Venti wants our to help set up. Come on, help me with the drum.” She seizes his hand, pulls him in her wake.

Together they slip their way for’ard to a low-ceilinged cabin full of lockers and trunks. The timbers that form the walls are whorled with ridges and bumps that shed a faint, blueish-green glow. Aralia makes several quick hand motions in front of her face, and the glow brightens. In the center of the room is a broad, squat cylindrical shape, wrapped in oil-skin. The ship’s drum is easily as large as the Damselfly’s barnacle encrusted anchor, but whereas the anchor is heavy hammered iron, the drum is fiendishly light, a marvel of carefully braced wood and stretched hide.

Aralia and Pasha raise and maneuver the covered drum towards the cargo hatch, which is open, and lift it into the waiting hands of their crewmates, who raise it onto the weather deck. This done, Aralia and Pasha turn and make their way to the windowless heart of the ship.

The alchemy sanctum betrays the Damselfly’s true purpose, both because of just how much space it takes up, and what it contains. Officially, the ship is a glass merchant trader, and it is true enough that the crafting and grinding of lenses for the prized Jyllish telescopes and spectacles takes place down here. But it takes only a glance around to realize the obvious fact that the alembics, stills, and other strange instruments that line the space are not for glasswork.

Pasha hovers on the threshold, watching Aralia go straight to the back, where a large bubble of glass squats, wrapped and ringed with bands of pure beaten copper. Inside of it writhes a coiling argent fog. There is a spout at the bottom, from which she decants a stream of mercurial silver into a bottle. As she caps the bottle, she murmurs softly to it, and the liquid springs back into gaseous form. Slowly, Aralia spins, and proceeds back towards Pasha, as if walking with a stick of sweating dynamite, or perhaps an immensely rare butterfly, paper-thin wings still moist from the cocoon’s embrace.

Pasha follows her up to the main deck, where Kalista has just reappeared and is in the midst of ushering the elders Hallel and Synka, swathed in thick dark robes against the chill, towards the drum. The last rays of sun are dribbling vividly over the far edge of the world. The breeze is softening. The night is clear. A few drops of spray dapple the back of Aralia’s neck. The bottle in her hands pulses with an otherwordly starlight.

Kalista beckons Aralia and Pasha, and together they help their relatives creak down into cushioned seats, and position a brazier full of glowing charcoal between them. Moa and Venti are already there, sitting on the other side of the drum, eyes closed, breathing long slow breaths. Jacynth seats herself last.

A cry from the lookout. Aralia turns, and sees that the squadron of ships behind them have launched signal rockets. She has been studying Imperiat naval communication, and in the multi-hued bursts, she instantly decodes the demand to head into the wind, drop sails and prepare to be boarded. She mutters this into Pasha’s ear, with a derisive eye roll. The rest of the crew is gathering around, craning uneasily to look back in the direction of their wake.

The aunties are unruffled. Kalista walks around and places long drumsticks, the ends swathed in sealskin hide and sinew, into their hands. Aralia sees the first stars glimmer into view.

The drums begin—rolling waves of sound that overlay and underlie each other, complex polyphonic rhythms older than language. There is a collective sigh as the gathered crew begins to untense, lulled by the blossoming field of the drummers. Nobody speaks.

Aralia’s gaze seeks out Kalista’s with an easy familiarity. Between them, they have accumulated a lexicon of thick and silent meaning, and the dim and dying light does little to obstruct their communication. They circle towards each other and walk for’ard together, Aralia still holding the bottled pulse of burning silver, to the deep, wide bowl of knapped obsidian set into the deck near the bowsprit. Aralia uncorks the bottle, holds it almost tenderly for a moment, and pours out the contents.

Again a liquid, the silver splashes as it hits the obsidian stone, then billows into an argent mist that spreads and envelopes the entire bow. The ship slides deeper into the silver fog, until first rigging, then masts, then everything from bow to stern, is inside the shining cloud. Wordlessly, Aralia and Kalista’s hands find each other and share a squeeze.

The drums are thunderous now, a wash of vibrating vowels that bathes Aralia’s bones in reverberation. The stars overhead are pulsing to the beat that is everywhere at once. She turns her head and looks aft, just as the drummers throw back their heads and begin to sing. Their voices, imbued with burning silver, burst the membrane between the layers of the world.

There is a visceral tipping feeling, and then—as the hull crashes through one swell and charges up another—the whole ship slides into the spirit current and everything, from the slap of the waves to the groan of the rigging, is muffled quiet. The Damselfly has crossed into the unseen layers of the world, the place her aunties call the Tide.

Aralia’s hair, cropped short, does not float up, but it is ruffled and stirred by the invisible current. It’s as if she and Kalista are poised on the precipice of an interdimensional diving board, as the void rushes up to engulf them.

Aralia’s memories of the space between the stars are always glassy and loose, prone to slipping and rearranging. Each moment seems endless and also gone before she can quite understand what happened—a frustrating rarity for her. Moa has intimated to her that this is a side-effect of the quicksilver.

Each time, she swears to herself that this time she will remember the fractal geometric patterns that burn behind her eyelids. The chilly tug of the spirit water. The eery sounds that drift and wash up from the depths.

She always remembers when the ancestor spirits come, though, the deep and soundless beating of their wings, the whole ship bathed in their flaming silver glow. The singing of the drummers is endless and the silent response is also endless. The conversation is slow, ceremonial, graceful, urgent.

The endless depths around them sparkle with the light shed by the silent star beings that pace them, and the pitch-dark void beyond that ancient protection is also full of swarming shapes, only vaguely hinted at—some of which are larger than the ship itself.

Faintly, as if through a thick brainfog, Aralia knows those hungry presences are only kept at bay by the presence of their guides.

Their journey may have taken hours or only a few minutes, but at some point the pull of the Tide begins to recede, and the pressure darkening the inside of her intellect begins to lessen and lighten. The ship’s creaking emerges again in her ears. The stars are once again above her, instead of watching and protecting her from just beyond the hull.

The voices of the drummers, which have taken on an almost drone-like quality, slacken and gradually fall silent. The silver cloud around them begins to unknit, drift away and disperse in the much warmer night breeze, which has changed direction. The Damselfly drifts, sails flapping gently, in unknown waters.

~ ~ ~

There were two raps on the door, a pause, then another two.

Aralia rose and opened the door to admit Pasha, wearing the same unobtrusive uniform as after-hours cleaning staff and pushing a cart laden with various closed buckets and pails. Aralia bolted the door and they embraced tightly.

“Mea canar.”

“Mea canat.”

Aralia went to her desk and there was the soft, oiled clicking of tumblers. She drew out a briefcase, laid it on her desk, and popped it open. The padded interior was full of sealed glass vials, stacked and strapped into place. All the vials were a uniform cylindrical shape with a valve at the top, but some were multi-chambered, and contained various different combinations of vividly colored compounds.

Aralia and Pasha, working carefully and silently, transferred the vials into the buckets, nesting them securely between layers of cushioned padding. Then they refilled the briefcase with identical but empty glass vials.

When they were done, Aralia produced a bottle of expensive-looking, amber whiskey and poured a strong dollop into two tumblers, then pulled her chair around the desk. They both sat down heavily. Aralia raised her glass and Pasha clinked it.

“To our continued treason, sabotage, and theft” said Aralia dryly, in Jyllish, and drank.

Pasha snorted, and then tossed his off, too. “To finding Kalista, and the rest of our people.” There was a burr of tension in his voice.

Aralia cleared her throat and looked away. “Of course.”

“Have you found anything? In the restricted clearance files?”

Aralia shook her head heavily. “Nothing. I even started leaning on some of my assets to help with the research. I got so tired of hitting dead ends I took the risk.” She frowned. “And still found nothing.”

Pasha’s voice was gentle. “You’re the one who has told me over and over that we’re playing the long game, here, Aralia. Remember, this is how it felt right before we found Esca.”

“I know, I know.” She hesitated. “It’s just…Pasha, the Imperiat has Apomasaics, now. I gave it to them.” She grimaced. “It’s only a matter of time before they figure out the key hidden inside it, and are able to engineer their own mercury. And now with imminent war on the horizon, as well? You know what this could mean. For the whole goddamn Whistling Sea.” She looked down and winced. “Every day I think about what Kalista would say to me about the cost I paid for this, and every day I get a little more afraid she’ll never talk to me again when she finds out.”Aralia swallowed. “If she’s even still—” she caught herself, as Pasha made a little noise of protest.

Aralia closed her eyes. “I’m not giving up, Pasha. I promise.” She opened them again, took a deep breath. “But I can’t just—it’s not enough, what we’re doing. I want to start increasing the shipments.”

“Emilia will just love that,” said Pasha rolling his eyes. “You two are far more alike than either of you is willing to admit. You’re both part mule, for instance.”

Aralia shrugged that off. “Not just the grenades. The halia, too. I want to double the volume of what I’m currently synthesizing each month. Will you be able to keep up?”

Pasha looked at her askance. “Do you even know how many draft cart loads I am hiding right now? How many barrels I have to make disappear from riverboat lading bills? I’m up to my ears in forgery and graft and false paperwork.”

“You can do it, Pasha.” Then, at the look he shot her, she got serious. “You’re a genius with the numbers. Listen, if you’re having trouble, I’ll come cook the books with you. Like old times.”

He grumbled something under his breath.

“Also,” Aralia said carefully, “I need you to hide the paper trail of our latest stray. And soon.”

Pasha stared at her. “You want me to disappear her from the staff accounts? Aralia, that’s not the same as smuggling goods. People are much harder to hide.” His tone turned condescending. “They draw a salary, you see.”

Aralia ignored his sarcasm. “I need her safe, Pasha.” She hesitated. “I feel like she’s my responsibility somehow. She threw herself out into empty air, without a plan, because I showed her it was possible.” A wince. “And then, I gave her refuge. And I can’t withdraw that, now. I already told her I wasn’t going to let them have her, and Pasha, the look in her eyes—” Aralia looked beseechingly at him and shook her head. “I know this sounds so, so hypocritical of me, but I just can’t.”

Pasha groaned. “You’re serious? I knew this was a bad idea. You weakened your only leverage over her just so you could see the look in her eye? Don’t you fall apart on me, Aralia. Not now. I’m serious.”

Aralia rolled her eyes. “I’m not falling apart, you little twerp. I was worried that she would do something stupid if she had nothing and no one at all to depend on. Anyway, I think I know how I’ll gain that leverage back, it’s just…”

She hesitated, then muttered something under her breath.

Pasha gave her an exasperated look.

Aralia rubbed her face, then poured herself another whiskey. “Look, it’s just—she’s growing on me, all right?”

There was a pause as she tossed it back.

“Don’t make that face at me,” she snapped. “I’ll take care of it.”

[gardenofbookworms]

august's monthly: from bee and rose

The First Bright Thing by J.R. Dawson

▪︎ fantasy/historical fiction novel ▪︎

there are candle flames, flickering constantly, struggling to stay lit in their harsh environment. there are wildfires, raging on and burning down everything in their path. and then there are sparks. sparks create fire, whether it be the flickering candles or blazing wildfires or something somewhere in between.

no one knows where the spark came from or why, but it did, and it changed the lives of everyone who it touched. rin’s spark gives her the ability to jump to different moments across the plane of space of time. her wife, odette, can heal any injury. their friend, mauve, can see glimpses of the future as it is currently set to play out. together, the three women run the circus of fantasticals, a safe haven for those with sparks. they travel across the country, offering a single night of dazzling enchantment to those who step into their tent.

the world around them is still struggling to comprehend world war i: the great war, the war to end all wars, the war when the widely feared spark made its appearance. but at least it’s over now. there can never be a war greater than that one…right?

most people think so. but one night, while the circus of fantasticals is traveling to its next destination, mauve sees something terrifying: a possibility of another war, one that will destroy the fragile home they’ve built in the circus. at the same time, rin’s haunting past begins to catch up to her. the circus king has finally tracked her down, and now, he wants her back. there is no chance he will let her escape this time.

threats surround the circus from all sides—past, present, future. and although the threesome will try to keep their home standing and its occupants alive and well, there are no guarantees in a game that traverses the boundaries of time and space. there’s no way to know that they can stop the looming war and keep the circus alive. but they have to try. and sometimes, that means going back to where it all began…

▪︎

from bee

after skimming through this book for the first time in a while, i realized how much of a nightmare edward is. he can control you? huh? huh? huh? like, he could tell you to drop dead (and didn't that happen? or almost?) and you would, no questions asked. nothing’s more fucking terrifying than having your free will manipulated like that. it’s sort of haunting the way dawson takes quiet manipulation and spins it to the extreme with edward’s spark. there’s a lot of things that rin reverts to doing throughout the course of this book because of him—say what you want, but that’s completely justified.

anyway, onto a different (lighter) topic: a circus! the gays! the minorities! and they're all a family! seeing rin slowly try to do her best in the mother role is heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. how do you parent a kid whose personality blazes so bright, like an uncontrollable fire? that’s what she has to figure out. and on a related subject: kell and charles are so fucking cute oh my god—seeing their relationship subtly progress in the background was probably my favorite part of this whole book. what do you mean he saw his face and crashed into a pole and a person? what do you mean he wanted to stay even if it meant dying? what do you mean—

from rose

the first two, three chapters of this book took me three weeks to get through. then, at some point, i ran out of other things to read, picked it up again… and holy shit, i’d underestimated it the first time. the first bright thing is set in a magical circus, which could easily make the whole plotline feel far-fetched and out of touch with reality. but dawson manages to take the people in that circus, and make them feel like any other group of people working together to try to achieve a common goal—in this case, show the audience the night of their lives. add that to the historical aspect, the forbidden romance, and the air of magic and mystery? boom, the deal is sealed for me.

and then, of course, we’ve got what bee just mentioned: the circus. not the magical part, but the complicated relationships, the gay panic, the ringmaster struggling to keep the whole thing together—they are a family. watching relationships develop and shatter, seeing each character figure out where they fit into the fabric of the circus, and all the stolen romantic moments… guys, this is what i live for. and yes, charles and kell are absolutely fucking perfect together.

▪︎

bonus: spotify playlist!

[starry-blue-echoes]

AU where George is worse than canon and it ends up getting Dio’s attention.

So everything starts as it normally does. Dio goes to live with the Joestars, decides to hate Jonathan on the principle of him being the Perfect Rich Kid, and starts his plan of become The Better Son in order to get the inheritance

And to his surprise, he starts seeing the fruits of his labor mere months after he starts. It’s not even little things either. George goes out of his way to learn what Dio likes and dislikes, praises him when he does well in school, doesnt even bat an eye when Dio requests things and fulfills most of them to the best of his ability.

And yet…… despite this being literally everything Dio had planned for…… despite the fact this was his goal practically being handed to him on a silver platter…… he can’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

It was too easy. Far too easy.

See, Dio had been more than prepared to play the long game with this one. After all, Jonathan had 12 years head start and the bonus of being George’s only living family. He’d been ready to spend years building himself up and tearing Jonathan down in his adoptive father’s eyes, slowly poisoning his view and making Jonathan look bad.

And yet, despite all that, George had taken his side incredibly quickly.

It was too easy, he would think during another dinner when Jonathan would get his food taken away early because of poor manners, but Dio couldn’t help but notice that dropping his utensils had been a simple accident, a slip of his fingers instead of ignorant boorishness. In the past, Dio would’ve looked at Jonathan with a barely concealed smug grin, but now he only looked with a small frown.

It was too easy, he would think when he heard George berate Jonathan for laziness and stupidity because he scored lower than average on a test, but Dio couldn’t help but remember seeing Jonathan studying for hours to prepare, barely leaving his room because he knew the test was coming and it was one of his weaker subjects. In the past, Dio would’ve poked fun at Jonathan’s merely passing grade in comparison to his own perfect score, but now he stayed silent with a feeling beginning to pool in his gut.

It was too easy, he would think on those occasional trips to the library with George when he would tell Jonathan that the things he picked out were childish and immature and would be wasted on him, but Dio couldn’t help but notice the dying spark in Jonathan’s eyes as he put back thick textbooks on archeology and ancient cultures. In the past he would’ve lorded over him his own law and justice books which George praised and supported, but now he looked at the words on the page, letter almost mocking him to the point they were useless.

It was too easy. So, incredibly easy to turn Jonathan’s father against him.

But the thing that stuck out so much…… the thing that truly began to draw Dio’s attention……

Was the fact Jonathan quietly accepted this treatment.

The fact that noble, gentlemanly Jonathan who was ready to stand up for whatever miserable soul crossed his path, who would pick fights to defend the weaker ones who happened to stumble in his path……. was just taking the treatment quietly.

Dio knew for a fact that had Jonathan seen this treatment being directed at anyone else he wouldn’t stand for it. He would’ve loudly proclaimed it wrong and immoral like the righteous buffon he was and done everything in his power to make it right

Dio manages to quietly, subtly, all without his notice question him about his father’s actions as well as hypotheticals with certain situations that had to do with a poor young boy and his father

Whenever asked about the imaginary boy, just as Dio excepted Jonathan wouldn’t hesitate to explain the wrongness of it.

But whenever asked about his own father’s actions, there was always an explanation. “He’s just in a bad mood today” “He’s right, I need to do better” “it’s nothing, don’t worry about it”

Dio was no stranger to assholes masquerading as fathers. He’d been forced to live with one for 12 years after all.

He’d assumed that George was a good father before Dio had come and manipulated him. That he’d cared for Jonathan in a way Dio’s father never had. He’d thought George had been like Dio’s mother.

Now…… now he was beginning to see how wrong he was