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#anything I can perceive as criticism
daffythefox · 2 years
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those small jokes and jabs some people will make at you when you’re friends with them like. they just wear me down so much. like I could have a face up for multiple hours and be relatively fine and then they could start doing that (like. I mess up slightly and they make a joke at my expense, or someone points out something I’m sensitive about for a joke, or someone makes a joke where the punchline is “hey you seem like you’re barely holding in your emotions) all of a sudden it’s nine times the work to be out and social without acting like a total dick (shooting back with something that plays on their insecurities as well so they sill stop pressing me) or having to leave because I’m about to break down, which is incredibly embarrassing and makes me feel like I’m just making a show so other people will feel guilty (not that I’m worried they will feel guilty, I’m worried they will think I will want them to feel guilty and that they will see me as lesser for that instead). “get something you’re fine with people joking about so they will make jokes about that and it won’t hit you as hard” why are you entitled to being able to make jokes at my expense? maybe I don’t want you to make fun of me at all!
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dolorianwolf · 1 year
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A tear in the membrane, allows the voices in
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fvckw4d · 4 months
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The concept of queerbaiting annoys me. I was told that it refers to a work of fiction pretending to cater to a queer audience but then pulling back from it to avoid alienating homophobes, which is an incredibly specific thing. But a lot of people seem to think that it instead means "any time there's any gay subtex, metaphor, or ambiguity" or "whenever something from 1995-2012 was being a normal amount of homophobic for the era."
#I've secondhand seen the way Sherlock...was.#And yeah that's very pointedly cruel to the audience.#But not everything is that aware of its following to point by point mock them for half an hour.#And I think people forget that for a period there was a unique combination of awareness of gay people and homophobia bad#and a severe need to avoid being perceived as gay (and sometimes homophobic) at the same time#while it was ALSO very acceptable to treat the existence of gay people and homophobia or discomfort with both as a joke#so that whole wink wink nudge nudge dance was a huge thing in some of the 90s and earlier 2000s#and sometimes by doing that people accidentally made it seem even more fucking gay.#Or on purpose. People also forget that yeah gay people could exist as a joke but they couldn't be casual protags or w/e.#It wasn't really done like that.#I think what it's really proof of is that the 90s/early 2000s is long enough ago that people have become illiterate to the cultural cues.#When comedians complain 'you cant make jokes anymore' sometimes this is the exact thing they're referring to.#Gay people being on TV or in books isn't some funny joke you make anymore. Just being gay or seen as gay isn't the punchline it used to be.#People are shitty about it still but it's in a different way now. Being gay isn't as much the big embarrassment it used to be.#Gay tv shows and books are a whole market now. And stuff like Sherlock or supernatural were made right in the middle of that shift.#It's the only way you could position a strategy like this. I don't know if that cultural moment really exists anymore.#Audience backlash is also more massive and in real time.#Now instead of mockery at the idea of idk Dr house md being gay conservatives would see it as a 'culture war' thing.#And non conservatives are more vocal and more liable to criticize. TV shows are seen as keepers of culture in ways they weren't before.#I don't know how to describe it exactly. I'm not an expert and I know I'm missing some pieces or things I wanted to point out.#But yeah I just think people kind of. Forgot how people treated gayness as some kind of cootie disease you had to say#You didn't have really hard all the time. People are still sort of like that but idk the language changed.#A lot of talk about homophobia and queerness is very pseudo-academic now. The distancing happens with different signifiers.#But. Yeah.#☠️#I also think queerbaiting requires a specific kind of intent as a marketing strategy.#Instead of the more likely 'well we have an unintended gay following now so I guess we can throw in some fanservice#the network would literally never allow us to do anything with it even if we wanted to though.'
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bbqhooligan · 3 months
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the way people respond to the "omg you people cant do anything" tweet with "holy shit this rewired me" "fixed me" "sometimes i need to remember this tweet and i immediately get better" makes me so mad. im glad it helps you man. it just irritates me cuz more often than not im the people who cant do anything. at least being mocked and shamed functions to motivate you out of your problems. this is so healthy for all of us
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babyilluwu · 3 months
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being autistic in my experience involves having made fic authors cry with the comments you left when you were exactly 11 years old (yes) so now that you are an adult and have acquired the ability of Tact™ you think very hard about what is and what isn't acceptable to leave as feedback
#i got the Extremely Honest type of autism#of course I was labeled as a rude bitch for this#or had ppl thinking I meant to hurt them#when i actually meant to offer constructive feedback to help improve things i believed were good and had the potential to be even better#like as a 13 yo I already felt that only good things deserved to be properly analyzed for feedback#and that when something was truly awful there was no way i could be 'constructive' or nice so i had better just shut up#cuz i could NOT lie#in these moments i always felt myself imploding lmao#because the intention really wasn't to hurt#but i did think 'constructive criticism' was good#anyways to this day i sometimes just DON'T respond when i can't think of anything that seems socially appropriate#but I have a better notion of what's appropriate for others than when I was younger lmao#that is all tied to masking tbh#and i need some level of honesty to BREATHE#but i do appreciate that i can interact with the people i care about a little more smoothly than before#fyi i feel the need to clarify that there have been moments when I was mean to people on purpose it's just I wouldn't call it 'constructive'#it's different when i mean to help with feedback and accidentally hurt someone#when I hurt others I suppose it came as a result of being hurt myself#or from navigating my experience as a human being who is perceived by others and whose actions can be of impacr#it's really vivid in my memory the first times i realized i did something and it had the power to hurt someone#I'm still really ashamed of some of it#like i made one fatphobic comment to a friend as a 12 yo and then i literally couldn't sleep all night from the remorse#and I'm ashamed of it to this day#and I'm turning 29 in a couple of weeks#it was like..... 17 years ago#oh my god
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yuveenti-blog · 1 month
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🐣Freestyle Astrology Observations 🐣
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Aries Sun’s will always want to be perceived as unique and different.
Taurus Sun’s can be cheap and meticulous with money.
Gemini Sun’s can become very dogmatic about religion if they believe in it.
Cancer Sun’s can be either serial daters, always in a relationship or just the opposite and never date or in a relationship.
Leo Sun’s can act like they are loners
Virgo Sun’s can be very into new age spirituality, tarot, numerology, astrology.
Libra Sun’s can either be very picky with who they date or date whoever gives them attention.
Scorpio Sun’s can give people chance after chance. It’s as if when they say they’re done it isn’t true.
Sagittarius Sun’s can be so pessimistic when life isn’t in their favor. They can be chronic complainers.
Capricorn Sun’s can be very mean. I mean they can say nasty things without even seeing the impact of their words. But they also seem to always have some struggle in life ( medical issues, drug addicts, losing a parent, going bankrupt or losing a lot of money, traumatic childhood).
Aquarius Sun’s can either come across as dry and boring or unique and exciting.
Pisces Sun’s are the sign I feel that people can often mistaken for another sign.
Aries Rising’s can attract a lot of negative attention or unwanted criticism.
Taurus Risings can be perceived as having money even when they don’t.
Gemini Risings can be recognized by their voice
Cancer Rising may go through a lot of changes in their life, moving around, different partners, different workplace.
Leo Risings may feel like people are always looking at them or they can just feel very exposed
Virgo Risings can over analyze their own thoughts or constantly be in their head about everything they do.
Libra Rising can either be focused on making themselves look so good ( physically) or making their life look so good ( career, house, car, relationship, family).
Scorpio Risings can experiment with their sexuality a lot in this lifetime or find that the end of their relationships drastically change the trajectory of their lives.
Sagittarius Risings can become guru’s, sages, spiritual leaders, or life coaches.
Capricorn Risings can often be the person in the family who breaks generational curses or steps up to make sure the family succeeds or takes care of family.
Aquarius Risings can be the ones to change their family tree, do something different, no children, more children than others in the family, different race children. They are the odd child or person in their family.
Pisces Risings can be seen as innocent or misjudged incorrectly, may project an image that isn’t true or may see other people this way.
Aries Moon’s may struggle to grasp how they truly feel and they can also feel their emotions make them volatile.
Taurus Moon’s can be fake deep.
Gemini Moon’s can do best at expressing their feelings through poetry, story telling, blogging, writing in a diary or journal or texting friends.
Cancer Moon’s can be subject to change how they feel about anything or anyone all of the time. Also extremely absorbent of others emotions.
Leo Moon’s can find it hard to hide how they truly feel.
Virgo Moon’s can find themselves interested in people and things that they are emotionally attached to.
Libra Moon’s can become shopaholics and find it hard to put in hard work.
Scorpio Moon’s deal with intense and extreme emotions and often no one knows how much they’re struggling.
Sagittarius Moon’s may have a lot of friends because they boost people’s self-esteem and motivate others.
Capricorn Moon’s can come across as somber and need to feel needed.
Aquarius Moon’s can have moments where their emotions become chaotic and uncontrollable. Sudden outbursts, rage, panic attacks, anxiety, meltdowns, hyperventilating.
Pisces Moon’s can feel easily disturbed and need healthy environments to thrive or they become delusional and negative.
Personal Observations
• Leo women can have other women jealous of them and it’s usually either because of the attention they get or some physical feature they have.
• Pisces can be extremely influenced by their siblings or close relatives. Say they have a cousin or older brother that is a certain way, they end up following in their footsteps.
• Capricorn women can dish it, but can’t take it.
• Leo men easily become “ lover boys”.
• Leo men can also lie straight to you in your face and not even blink an eye.
• Sagittarius women relationships never last. They always fall hard even if they play hard to get but they just don’t last.
• Scorpio men have this deep desire to gain power through money. They are the kind of people willing to do what it takes to ensure they’re successful.
• Libra women can have a lot of friends that they dislike are or jealous of.
• Also, I find that Libra’s usually end up being LGBTQIA+.
• Cancer men love when a woman chases after them or does the initiating.
• Cancer men also can be users especially when they aren’t over their ex.
• I find that Scorpio men’s persistence at times is a detriment in dating. For their goals, it can help them get to where they want to be, but with love it can make them frustrated and end up going for the person they didn’t have to chase after.
• I find that Gemini men often date out of curiosity. They don’t have to particularly be into you; but if you intrigue them in anyway they will play around with the idea of “dating” you.
• Scorpio women can be a “ girls girl” the most when they’re single. When they’re in a relationship they can be a “ pick- me”.
• I feel like Virgo men are either dysfunctional, chaotic, and mean or orderly, goal-oriented and kind.
• Aries men are looking for their soulmate, woman of their dreams, their other half. When they meet a woman they feel that way towards they can become delusional.
• Aries men also love people they can mentally connect with. They can be so talkative with the right people and dead quiet with people they don’t fuck with.
• Pisces men are so good at making you fall in love with them. It’s like they have the cheat code. Which is why I think they are hated so much because they end up breaking hearts.
• Leo women always seem to have a type. They’re also low key delusional.
• Capricorn men love women, but they always end up in drama dealing with women.
• I feel like Sagittarius women have a lot of pride
• Cancer women can become so engrossed in a man. It’s not even delusional because they know it’s not healthy, but they always choose partners that they have to struggle with.
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sheerfreesia007 · 1 month
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Underwater Love
Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader
Word count: 2,784
Content warnings: Fluff
Summary: You’re slightly insecure when it comes to your body and how you’re perceived, Hyunjin has been harboring a crush for years. What happens when your best friends try to meddle and play match maker?
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You stood in front of the floor length mirror hanging on the locker room wall and grimaced slightly at your image as you turned your head from side to side trying to get a look at every angle of your body wrapped in the skimpy gold sparkly bikini. The sounds of the laughter, shouting and splashing water were your background noise as you twisted your body from front to back as your eyes critically stared at yourself. Huffing softly you frowned just as you heard the loud squeaky hinges of the locker room door sound in the large room.
“Noona? Are you okay?” came Jeongin’s unsure voice as his footsteps sounded on the echoing tile.
“Innie, leave her, maybe she’s still getting changed.” Felix scolded him softly in his deep voice.
“I’m okay.” you called out just as you spotted Jeongin and Felix come around the corner of the lockers in the mirror. They both stood there staring at you with wide eyes causing you to feel even more self conscious of your body. Jeongin grinned widely suddenly as his eyes darted up and down your body before crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the row of lockers behind him.
“Oh Hyune hyung is going to lose his mind over you.” Jeongin said knowingly as he smirked at you through the mirror.
“Shut up.” you scoffed at him and Jeongin’s grin widened. Felix had moved to your side smiling brightly at you with sparkling eyes.
“You look perfect.” he said reassuringly and you shook your head at his words causing a soft frown to form on his face.
“I don’t know why I let you talk me into this. This was a mistake. I think I’m going to go home.” you lamented softly and Jeongin frowned in a match with Felix’s expression before he pushed off the lockers and walked to your other side while watching you intently through the mirror.
“Noona, you love to swim and you’re great at it. You’ve had a long stressful week at work and you’ve done so well at it you need some fun to relax. Don’t let your insecurity try to ruin that.” Jeongin said softly and kindly causing you to smile shyly at his words.
“Plus if Hyunjin says anything we’ll drown him.” Felix says seriously and your eyes dart over to his in the mirror as your mouth drops open in surprise.
“Lix, I didn’t say anything about him.” you told him softly and he smiled softly at you before shaking his head.
“You didn’t have to. We both know how you feel about him. If he says anything that makes you uncomfortable we’ll drown him. I’m pretty sure we can convince Seungmin to even help.” Felix says as Jeongin nods his head eagerly at his words and you chuckle softly at your friends’ insistence.
“Okay, okay.” you relent to them and they both grin at you happily, secretly glad that they had convinced you to stay and enjoy yourself with them all. “Besides he’s so out of my league I don’t think he’ll even notice I’m there.” you gripe out and Felix’s eyes dart over to Jeongin’s stare as the two share a knowing smirk between the two of them.
*-*-*-*
Hyunjin laid out on one of the lounge chairs next to Lee Know letting the sun soak into his skin as he quietly dozed off in a hazy nap. He chuckled softly as he heard a rather loud snore from Lee Know’s open mouth and turned his head to the sleeping man to see him splayed out on his own lounge chair. Shaking his head trying to clear the fog that had formed from the warm sun he looked around the pool to see the rest of his friends before he frowned when he noticed that Felix and Jeongin weren’t in the pool or on the pool deck like him and Lee Know.
“Hey Seungmin!” he called as he spotted his friend swimming slowly past the side of the pool. Seungmin turned to him with a curious look on his face. “Where’s Innie and Felix?”
“Talking to Noona in the locker room. She was taking a while to come out so they went in to check on her.” he answered with a shrug of his shoulders and Hyunjin felt his body tense with that information. He hadn’t known that you were invited but as he felt his stomach tense and flush with warmth he wasn’t opposed to seeing you. Hyunjin had been sporting a full on crush on you ever since Felix and Jeongin had introduced you to the group a few years ago, you were a quiet poised elegant woman who had instantly caught his eyes when your bright glowing smile had slowly blossomed on your face when you greeted him. Ever since then he loved seeing you around with him and his friends. You were still as quiet and poised as ever but every once in a while he’d see your sillier goofier side slip through when you grew comfortable with all of them. Those were the moments he loved the most with you, he knew you had a very high stress male dominated career and you always came across as someone who was strong, capable and independent but the moments that you were able to relax and be yourself around him he treasured greatly. And while your poised side was such a turn on to him about you he absolutely melted whenever you laughed uncontrollably or you joked around with all of them as if you were just a kid. Then there were the quiet soft moments that he rarely shared with you that Jeongin and Felix seemed to get more of from you then him. It usually happened when you were stressed or overly tired from work and you’d wind up at one of their dorms melting into the couch as a movie played mindlessly on the tv. One night you had fallen asleep on his shoulder and Hyunjin swore that was the night he had realized how deep his feelings ran for you, you were just too cute with your mouth open as your cheek smooshed up against his shoulder as tiny soft snores fell from your lips.
Jeongin had noticed it first the way Hyunjin would eagerly cater to you whenever you were around, it was hard to hide from the younger man since he knew both you and Hyunjin so well. And ever since noticing his friend’s feelings for you that he couldn't seem to keep hidden he would mercilessly tease his friend. Every time he would catch Hyunjin staring at you for longer than was necessary he’d wiggle his eyebrows at his friend causing the man to flush with embarrassment at getting caught. Or when you were with the group and there was an open seat next to Hyunjin he’d maneuver it so that you’d sit next to him or be close to him at all times. The teasing only ramped up when Felix caught onto Hyunjin’s feelings as well, the two younger men were relentless with the teasing and would cause Hyunjin to either blush beet red with embarrassment or nearly shout at them to shut up right as you would come over to spend time with them all. It was all rather embarrassing for him but it never affected Hyunjin’s feelings for you. He was still enamored by you and craved to be near you whenever you were around. 
Just then Seungmin cheered loudly as he stared away from Hyunjin towards the locker rooms and Hyunkin turned his head to see You, Jeongin and Felix all walking out of the locker room with soft smiles on their faces. Hyunjin felt his mouth drop open as his eyes took you in, you were stunning, absolutely gorgeous and Hyunjin knew he was not going to survive this hang out. Raising his hand to his sunglasses he dragged the shades down his nose so that he could get a clear view of your bikini clad body. YOur bikini was gold and sparkled in the sunlight as your body moved closer to the pool with Jeongin and Felix. Straps criss crossed across your chest to lead up to a halter neckline that made his stomach tense with desire for you, the bottoms weren’t much easier on his emotions as it was the color and material as your top but had large silver rings at each of your hips keeping the material connected. Your body was lightly toned and muscled as you moved gracefully while grinning and waving at the boys in the pool, you were an absolute vision to him.
“Close your mouth or you’ll catch flies.” comes a grumble from his side and Hyunjin snaps his mouth closed quickly before turning his head to look at a smirking Lee Know. Hyunjin blushes brightly at being caught staring at you before he fixes his shades back on his face and relaxes back into the lounge chair. “Why don’t you go join her in the pool?” asks Lee Know softly and Hyunjin huffs softly causing Lee Know to chuckle at him. “Need a moment to calm down?” he asks teasingly and Hyunjin pouts softly.
Hyunjin crosses his arms over his chest as he tries to do exactly what Lee Know was teasing him about and calm down his body after seeing you in your bikini. He watches silently as you hop into the pool and join Seungmin by swimming around the pool lazily, your limbs gliding through the water with little to no effort as Jeongin tries to rile you up into racing him. Felix even joins in by trying to mimic your swimming form. But Hyunjin continues to watch you as his teeth sink into his full bottom lip. You’re starting to warm up and get comfortable around the boys as he watches you joke around with Seungmin by slowly swimming through the water with your mouth underwater. He laughs as he watches you widen your eyes at the younger man who bursts out laughing as he pops his head up above the water. The four of you then begin to play a game where you try to make each other laugh while your mouths are submerged in the water.
“Hyunjin! Come join us!” Felix calls out suddenly and Hyunjin watches as your eyes dart over to him before smiling widely at him as you nod your head. Hyunjin can’t deny you anything as he quickly stands from the lounge chair as Lee Know chuckles softly from his chair, with a roll of his eyes he quickly slips into the water and swims over to where you and the three boys are. You move over to give him room and he smiles warmly at you watching delighted as you duck below the surface for a moment hiding your own smile from him. “Join our game.” Felix implores him and Hyunjin nods his head as he looks to the boys for instructions.
“What are the rules?” he asks easily and Jeongin smirks softly from your side before leaning in and whispering in your ear causing your eyes to widen before turning your head towards him quickly and shaking your head at whatever he whispered to you. Jeongin just nods his head to your shaking one before you huff at him and he laughs loudly knowing that he won whatever argument the two of you just had.
“Noona has to try to make you break through the surface of the water by any means necessary.” Felix informs him as his eyes dart back over to you and Jeongin who is whispering in your ear again as you shake your head and roll your eyes at whatever he’s saying. Hyunjin feels slightly left out but that’s normal when it comes to you and Jeongin, the two of you are always in your own little world together. He’s used to it by now and it no longer hurts or stings but when he spots you staring at him curiously for a moment he crosses his eyes and you chuckle softly at him before sticking your tongue out at him in retaliation making him grin at you.
“Alright sounds easy enough.” he teases you before feeling as if he’s made a mistake as a slow smirk slips onto your face at his words. Your eyes hone in on him and it’s the first time that you’ve given him your undivided attention while he’s with you and the boys, it’s a little intimidating if he’s being honest but he preens at the attention and sinks below the water to begin the game. 
You start out by widening your eyes comically at him and he shakes with his silent laughter before he settles easily, not letting you win against him just yet. He knew you would eventually win but he wanted to make you work for it, he didn’t want to just give you the win. But when you started to move closer to him he started to feel nervous as he watched your eyes narrow and dart around his face looking for an in. When he felt your fingers graze along his sides he flinched back and your eyes narrowed even further knowing that you had your win in sight. But Hyunjin didn’t want you to win so easily as he tried to move away from your teasing fingers without breaking the surface. You had moved impossibly closer to him to keep your dancing fingers on his body and he soon grabbed them to try and keep them off his body as he still twisted and turned under the water, it was all over when he felt your firm thigh brush against the inside of his own thigh and he was standing straight out of the water breaking the surface as the boys cheered with your victory. 
Hyunjin grumbled softly as he watched you stand as well with a grin on your face as you watched him happily. He stuck his tongue out at you making you chuckle delightedly at his antics before he sunk back into the water to sulk. The rest of the boys all congratulated you on your win and you graciously thanked him before turning back to Hyunjin while the boys all dispersed to different areas in the pool.
“Be happy I didn’t follow Jeongin’s advice to win the game.” you teased him with a soft smile as you sunk lower into the water to match him before you widen your eyes and then crossed them at him. He tilts his head at you curiously before rising up above the water.
“What was his advice?” he asked softly figuring from your movements that it wasn’t really something you wanted to tell him but still needed to anyway.
“To kiss you under the water. He said it’d get a reaction outta you, though I’m not sure it’d be a reaction I’d like with the way he said I’d win the game.” you answered him by just allowing your mouth above the water to speak. Hyunjin felt his eyes widen and his cheeks flushed brightly at your words and the advice that Jeongin had given you.
“Why wouldn’t you like my reaction if you would’ve won?” he asked softly and your eyes darted to his face before you contemplated answering.
“Would you like it if your crush’s reaction to your kiss was to immediately stand up and away from you?” you asked in a bitter tone before you gasped softly as sunk below the water once more as your eyes widened and you began to swim away from him while a pretty blush dusted your cheeks. 
Hyunjin’s mind short circuited at the confession you just admitted and he felt the air in his lungs seize. He instantly reached out and grabbed your shoulders pulling you towards him as he lowered his mouth into the water and pressed his mouth to yours under the water. Hyunjin felt your mouth press against his as his hands moved up from your shoulders to cup your cheeks while tilting your head to the side so that he could deepen the kiss. The two of you unconsciously stood from your positions until you were both standing tall in the water and Hyunjin felt your arms wrap loosely around his waist.
“Yah! Get a room you two!” shouted Changbin and Hyunjin nearly screamed at him as he felt you pull away from his mouth.
“Shut up Changbin.” Hyunjin groaned softly before he turned back to you and pressed his mouth to yours once again as the boys all gagged loudly while you chuckled softly.
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prettieinpink · 9 months
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HOW TO START IMPLEMENTING CHANGE + STAY MOTIVATED
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HAVE A REASON. It is going to be hard to start inputting change in your life if you do not even have a reason why. That reason also has to come from within, not from any other externalities (friends, school, work, family). This reason has to make you strive to be better.
If you’re unsure about your reason, write down times when you feel your happiest and when you feel your lowest, then notice any common themes. 
BUILD DISCIPLINE. Discipline is the ability to be productive without hesitation or distractions. The only way to build it, is to practice it. Do the things you need/want to do, regardless of how you feel in the present.
Just remember, that you always feel better after committing to yourself.
MAKE YOUR PLAN SUSTAINABLE. Your routines and habits you want to implement, need to be at arm’s length for you. While I do believe in challenging yourself if your mind perceives that specific activity as ‘too hard’, it is going to make you avoid that task.
This is a reaction from your ego coming out of your comfort zone because it is so unfamiliar it wants to protect if anything ‘bad’ happens e.g. failure, loss of control and criticism. 
Reminder, that part of you is not bad at all nor is it holding you back. It is the part of you that wants to keep you safe. For your ego to allow you to do tasks out of your comfort zone, it needs to be simple and easy. Then from there, you can build it up to your ideal habit or routine. 
MAKE YOUR ENVIRONMENT INTENTIONAL. Your mind, space and the people around you need to be decluttered and serve a purpose. For your mind, avoid feeding it with an overload of information especially if you are not going to apply it. Minimise social media use and journaling instead of looking for a quick fix. 
Your space, specifically your bedroom has to be the best place for you to grow. Everything in your room needs to serve a purpose, it has to be kept clean to ensure mind clarity and place intentional items around to support your goals (mantras, workout mat, water bottle, instruments). 
The people around you have to support you and your journey. I don’t believe in the ‘value’ or ‘worth’ people have, but rather what you think of them. Someone could be the most overachieving and productive person ever, so they may inspire you, but what if they don’t wish the best for you? People who will support you regardless are the best resource ever.
BE FLEXIBLE. The ability to edit your habits or routine when needed so you can stick to a schedule or adapt to change is a powerful but underrated skill. Anything in life can happen, but if we want to stick to our goals, we need to develop flexibility. 
The best way to develop flexibility is to try everything. For example, meditation. Do 5, 10, 15, and 20 minutes, try it in the morning, afternoon or evening, do a guided one or do it by yourself. To get flexible in a habit, you need to expand your capabilities in that habit. 
ALWAYS SOMETHING RATHER THAN NOTHING. Typically during the day, we procrastinate because we want the challenging task to be perfect or we believe there’s not enough time/resources to do it. 
However, just having that small progress each day is always better than nothing. One sentence is better than none, one healthy meal is better than none, 2 minutes of exercise is better than none etc. 
HAVE GOALS THAT YOU LIKE. The reason so many people dislike doing their habits or routines is because it’s not stuff that’s enjoyable for them. It’s habits and routines that they got online from someone completely different. 
Choose your favourite way of exercising, read your favourite books(even graphic ones!) and journal the way you want. If the steps to becoming your best self are steps that you dislike, then it is not your best self. 
IDENTIFY THE WAY YOU SELF-SABOTAGE. If you are struggling to implement change, chances are there are small self-destructive behaviours that are in your routines that hold you back. 
This could be major procrastination, doom-scrolling, an addiction or binge eating. You either have to completely extract these habits from your life or you can do these things in moderation. 
TAKE REGULAR BREAKS. If you are being productive back-to-back and not allowing yourself to cool down, your motivation will deplete quickly. Have around 1-2 hours in your day doing anything you like.
If needed, after each task, take 5-10 minutes for yourself. However, do avoid your phone for these periods and try to be present in whatever you do here. 
HAVE SOFT DAYS. Days in which you do not have to do anything hardcore or intense, and you’re just living. While yes, be somewhat productive but nothing too intense.
This can be your reset, detox or self care days, or all of them combined!
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bouquetface · 3 months
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Synastry observations 4
Accuracy influenced by the ENTIRE chart.
PLEASE READ: You may not relate despite having these aspects. It’s important to look at the ENTIRE chart (never just one placement) when reading for accuracy. There are several ways these aspects can manifest.
Moon Conjunct Venus
Intuitive understanding of the other’s emotions. Being in tune with each other. Finding support from one another. Feeling seen, supported & understood. This conjunction can keep bringing the two back together. I’ve also noticed with this conjunction, you create/have many comforting memories together. One may think of the other randomly as memories&thoughts of the other are triggered throughout a normal week.
This placement can make on sentimental & nostalgic. This connection breaking up, is a hellish experience. It’s difficult to not remember the other.
Moon conjunct Mars
In friendships, I’ve noticed the Mars person be very encouraging and supportive of the Moon. For ex: Tell/encourage them to try out for big roles. Mars can help build up confidence for the Moon.
The negative is Mars can (purposefully or accidentally) hurt Moon just as easy as they can build them up. Full chart needs to be taken into consideration.
In relationships, this can create extreme attraction. The two can be quick to act on it as well. For ex: My friend who had a kid young has this with her baby’s dad. They didn’t know each other for too long before having the kid.
Chiron conjunct Sun
Sun can unintentionally shine a light on the other person’s deepest wound. This can be good or bad depending on whether the chiron person is ready to face their past pain. Often, I read this is a red flag in synastry. In my real life, this hasn’t shown true.
In my real life, I’ve seen this twice manifest as the chiron and sun person having a sorta unspoken understanding of one another.
Ex.1: Person A has a chiron cap in 4th House. This person felt like asking their parents for anything was a burden to them. Whether it be an emotional need or a physical want. They were lonely in childhood.
Person B has a cap sun. As the eldest child, they had a similar experience. They would help care for their younger siblings. Attempt to minimize their own needs & wants because they could see how hard it was for their mom to raise the 3 younger kids. They always put their own self last.
Together, Person A and Person B have realized they have similar traits. They admire and respect these traits in each other.
Ex 2. It’s pretty much the same as example one. However, might be due to the age difference but the chiron person admires the sun person. The sun person naturally displays the traits, the chiron person feels necessary to thrive.
The negatives are the hurting each other without fully realizing it. The sun person could sub consciously remind the chiron of their past.
For ex: A Virgo sun’s analytical nature could be perceived as unnecessary criticism to the virgo chiron. The virgo chiron may then begin to dislike the sun as they are reminded of people they don’t like/who hurt them in the past.
Now keep in mind, chiron stays in a sign for 4ish years. You won’t like or dislike every chiron born in those 4 years. This aspect isn’t a main one to be looking at imo unless it is very closely conjunct.
Moon conjunct Mercury
3 times I’ve noticed this creates an awkward beginning but a good long term friendship. It might because it was in earth signs, they tend to be reserved before opening up. Gradually, a good emotional foundation is created. The two understand each other. It’s always easy to catch up even if you take a pause. This is such a good aspect that I see it helps overcome harsher aspects in synastry.
Composite Chart
Aqua Moon: A distance can be kept in the connection. You two may have many placements in your natal chart that indicate you do not open up easily (Cap chiron, Scorpio Venus, 8th H placements, etc). Regardless of how close you get, both may try to remain a bit reserved to prevent being entirely vulnerable to the other. This isn’t necessarily a negative.
Moon in 4th House: A secure connection. Great foundation if you want to build something together (a business, a family). Long term connection indicator. You may find each other reliable. You know what to expect with the other.
Venus conjunct Mars: This would be a difficult connection to move away from. Their is attraction that keeps you two together / coming back together. This is not necessarily sexual. For example, if you have this in a friendship, you two simply have too much history to ever truly forget this person. The connection only grows over time. One cannot replace the other. You two have affected each other’s personalities in a big way. This can be good or bad.
For example, in the 12th House. I’ve seen this as a relationship that fell out. One can go long periods without ever thinking of the other. Yet, the impact they had remains. This person is suspicious and cautious of letting new people entier their lives. Trust issues were created in that connection.
Mars conjunct MC
I’ve seen this manifest in a friendship that fell out. Outsiders who know of the other, know they do not like that other person. Your conflicts can become public with this conjunction.
Venus opposite Mercury
This can make communication very difficult. It can lead to a difference in communication style. For ex: One person is very blunt, the other is very soft spoken & sensitive. You hurt each other with your words even when you don’t mean it.
I’ve seen a chart where Venus was in 12th opposite Mercury. This resulted in one party getting ghosted & blocked.
Moon in 5th House:
A fun connection. You can joke with each other. You can be spontaneous when together. This is a positive placement.
The potential negative is this may become your “remember friend”. You go to each other for nostalgic purposes. Like remember when we____. Repeating old inside jokes. A playful friendship. Prone to avoid serious conversation. This isn’t really negative if you both do not want more from one another. Other placements in the chart can change this as well. You may have the ability to be serious but prefer the joking nature of the connection.
Moon in 7th House:
You two simply make good partners. Ex: Business partners, cooking partners, group project partners, etc. There can be a shared understanding of what is fair and what is right. Only negative is that you should be aware of co dependency issues.
7th House ruler in 12th House:
Twice, I’ve seen this appear as other people being the cause of the connection ending. In one situation, it was emotional cheating. This person got exposed for having very inappropriate conversations with someone else. The second situation, one friend was talking shit & revealing secrets about the other. They were exposed by a mutual friend. In both these situations, the other person was so furious they did not give a clear reason for why they were leaving. They simply left ghosted and blocked.
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johannestevans · 7 months
Text
Addressing Common Arguments Against “Consuming Harmful Content”
Challenging purity culture in online spaces and their fears of “problematic media”.
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Constant and continuous arguments endure on social media about the dreaded and frightening spectre of problematic media — from television shows that supposedly “glorify” unhealthy relationships or “sexualise” and “excuse” abusive relationships; to erotica, adult books, and 18+ fanfiction that supposedly teach teenagers bad life lessons and impact their ethics; to anime and manga that surely must be the cause of child abuse the world over. 
I wrote an in-depth essay about the intellectual flaws in these reactionary assumptions, delving into their roots in lacking media literacy and rising anti-sex attitudes here: 
The above essay discusses at length many of the fears and anxieties that lead to this reactionary thinking, but does not challenge or explore the echo chambers that can arise in online spaces, particularly in aggressive environments such as Twitter/X, and for young or isolated individuals who are particularly vulnerable to peer pressure and fears of ostracisation if they admit to the “wrong” opinions.
Many of these arguments are used by “anti-shippers” within fandom and online spaces, the term commonly shortened as “antis” — if you’re unfamiliar with the term, these are people who define themselves as opposing one or more specific ships, fandoms, tropes, or kinks, often due to what they perceive to be their “problematic” or inherently “harmful” elements when engaged with or portrayed in various forms of media and art. Because of the virulent and highly aggressive nature of these online communities, these people — many of them young or isolated, often marginalised and disenfranchised from in-person, supportive environments — can become radicalised, and can experience great fear and anxiety at the premise of others holding different opinions or perspectives from the ones these online communities have impressed upon them should be held immutably by all.
In this piece I’m going to be addressing common arguments and assumptions seen on social media one by one — it is not really intended to convert the above, often radicalised individuals, but to provide support and guidance in understanding why their perspectives can be flawed, and how to engage with and deconstruct those arguments. 
It is also intended to provide support and structure to begin to engage with and potentially challenge or affirm your own beliefs and ideas about fiction, art, and other forms of media, and the extent of the impact it can have on you or others — this piece is me addressing these arguments with my own perspective, but I would encourage people to disagree with and critique my rebuttals!
The goal here is always more critical thought, analysis, and understanding, and that doesn’t come from automatically following another person’s line of thought or argument just because it’s well-poised or you particularly respect or like them — no matter who that person or people may be. 
--
“Depicting [a theme] in media is the same as glorifying it!”
Let’s first engage with what people might be discussing when they panic about “harmful content” and “problematic” ships or pieces of fiction.
They might worry about people reading or watching works that discuss or depict anything from violence, incest, sexual assault, age gaps, BDSM, kinky sex, child sexual abuse, trauma recovery, rape, rape recovery, drug use, bestiality, to abusive relationships or anything else, will encourage people to think positively about those acts, those traumas, and those experiences. 
You might look at the list of things I just wrote there and go, “Um, there are big differences between some of those things and the others!”
And yet the same consideration still applies. 
Just because a theme or idea is present in a work, or is depicted in it implicitly or explicitly, doesn’t mean it’s being “glorified” and portrayed as overwhelmingly positive — and even if a theme or aspect is being glorified, this does not mean we shall simply unthinkingly absorb that perspective.
Reading a story that contains something doesn’t mean I’ll automatically think that thing is good or bad, regardless of how it’s portrayed in fiction — the media and art we engage with doesn’t wholly change and adjust our own ethics and morals as soon as we’ve interacted with it. 
We might play a videogame and disagree with the way some themes are presented, have criticisms of them, whilst enjoying and appreciating others; we might read a piece of erotica and find some parts about it very hot, but find others disturbing and a little uncomfortable; we might watch a TV show and just think it’s in very poor taste, despite theoretically being up for the premise. 
Engaging with media does not turn off and on switches in our brains that make us completely “pro” or completely “anti” one premise or other. 
People are more complicated than that. 
We have complex and layered feelings about every argument and perspective there is, every experience there is, because human beings are social animals, and we experience very few things through an uncomplicated, binary lens. 
For me personally, I often seek out works that cover the same traumas and harms I’ve experienced — why? Because seeking out those themes helps me process and better understand what has happened to me, and how I’ve felt about it, how I’ve responded. 
“I don’t have a problem with people writing about certain harmful topics to show them as bad, but some people sexualise or fetishise them!”
I’m sure you’re right. 
Some people might write about rape to work out a complex trauma recovery narrative — others might write about rape in a work as kink. An author might well write with both goals in mind in the same work. 
A traumatic event doesn’t become less traumatic because it sexually aroused us or brought us physical pleasure — in fact, those feelings can add to the impact of a trauma and the inner conflict we experience in the aftermath. 
Some people undercut victims of sexual abuse by saying they “enjoyed” it, pointing out that they orgasmed or showed signs of arousal as signs they “secretly” wanted it, and these feelings can contribute heavily to shame and fear as a victim. 
Sexual arousal is a bodily response. It is not consent, and it’s not an excuse for assault or abuse. Moreover, some people might feel arousal or pleasure but not be fit to consent — for example, if someone is underage, or if someone is drugged or insensible with drink. 
These people cannot give knowledgeable consent, but abusers might still say after an assault that they “enjoyed” it. 
This is purity culture at work — anti-sex attitudes use people’s “enjoyment” of something to undercut their autonomy and right to consent, by implying they “deserve” that abuse — abuse is abuse whether it’s sexualised or not. 
But the thing is, the obverse applies. 
Just as someone’s mixed feelings or sensations of pleasure during a sexual assault does not mean they consented to the assault, or because someone’s feelings of happiness and love for their abuser does not mean they deserved the abusive treatment they experienced from them, a person writing sexually or erotically about a topic, or engaging with art and narratives about that topic, does not mean they actually want that thing to happen in real life, to real people, or to themselves. 
Fiction is not real life. 
We watch a horror film, and it doesn’t mean we want serial killers or demons to run amok, killing teenagers or possessing their victims — similarly, just because we engage with porn or erotica that sexualises certain topics doesn’t mean we’re pro- or in favour of those topics for real people. 
Rape fantasies are incredibly common, despite being highly stigmatised, and just because someone fantasises about this sort of control fantasy does not mean they actually want to abuse someone or be abused. 
“It’s harmful to depict abusive or immoral characters as sexy or desirable.”
If you have never experienced abuse, manipulation, or otherwise poor treatment from someone you thought was attractive, charming, or admirable, if you’ve never been groomed by someone with whom you were enamoured, I’m very glad. 
I’m happy for you, honestly. 
But many of us have. 
People want to believe that all abusers are evil, are ugly, are obvious from a distance, are blatant from the out. People want to believe they can “tell” someone is abusive just from a glance, and write them off — and that anyone who would or might spend time with that person is therefore “asking for it”, or “letting themselves” be abused. 
In actual fact, many abusers aren’t. 
Many abusers are beautiful and charming — some of them draw you in, slowly bring you closer and closer until it’s very difficult to untangle yourself from your need and craving for their approval. They ruin lives, ruin psyches, and they cause unspeakable damage to their victims. 
And yes, victims often feel conflicted in the aftermath of their abuse.
Many of us hero worship or greatly respect our abusers, love them very deeply, crave their good opinion, because we are carefully groomed and manipulated, over time, into relying on their praise and their attention. For victims isolated from other sources of care and support, and especially for young children and teenagers, it can be very difficult to recognise what is happening and has happened to us. 
Even after we know and understand exactly what has happened to us, and also internalised that it was wrong, we can still feel conflicted. 
We are not retroactively deserving of our abuse because we crave our abusers’ good opinion, or their love, still. This instinct does not excuse or justify the abuse we’ve experienced. Victims of abuse are still victims of abuse even if we go back to our abusers, even if we “accept” or attempt to justify our abuse to others, if we try to excuse it, if we don’t ask for help. 
Abuse is never the victim’s fault, no matter how imperfect we are as victims. 
“Writing queer characters as abusive is bad representation!”
If we exclusively write queer characters who are perfect and unimpeachable, we’re not letting ourselves write queer characters who are fully human, with all the flaws and complexities humanity comes with. 
Queer people are not less deserving of this complex representation than cishet people are — and in any case, the purpose of art and media is not exclusively to provide good representation, or to show good moral examples for others.
We create to express ourselves, to reflect the world, to critique it, laugh at it, commiserate over it, to feel our feelings, to connect and communicate with others through shared stories. 
If we only let ourselves do things that might be seen as “good rep”, we rob ourselves of the ability to express ourselves as completely as we might wish to. 
“If you write abusive queer characters, you’re just contributing to homophobia and bigotry in art and media!”
Queer people writing queer stories with queer villains is not the same as cishet people including queer people or queer-coded characters just to be villains. The power dynamic is completely different. 
Queer writers’ writing of queer villainy is often inspired by their own experiences, including of bigotry, and the harm they might do reflects harm by society, the ways harms might be felt more keenly by their victims. 
Writing queer villains as villainous because their queerness makes them (or is used as a shorthand for them being) predatory, cruel, or callous, is homophobic and is often shitty, whether people intend that or not. 
But just having queer villains, having queer characters do bad or abusive things, or just have flaws? 
That’s as much a part of queer humanity as having queer heroes and having queer characters do good and helpful things.
Why would you read about rape when you could read consensual non-consent?
[Consensual non-consent being a kink wherein partners agree to roleplay a non-consensual situation.]
Rape in fiction is a form of consensual non-consent. 
The fictional characters, who are not real and do not have real feelings, are not consenting, but the reader choosing to read is. 
In the same way that two people playing a CNC roleplay game in the bedroom might be a safe and fun way of experiencing or re-experiencing the fear and trauma of assault with an escape clause (a safeword), a reader can do the same — they can stop reading. 
If a television show, film, or videogame becomes upsetting, again, one can stop watching, stop playing. It is a person’s own responsibility to set safe boundaries for themselves and protect their own mental health. 
“Why would someone write about trauma and abuse when they could write fluff?”
Why would someone watch a horror movie when they could watch a romcom? Why would someone eat cheese when chocolate is an option?
People do not have to choose one or the other — many people like both horror films and romcoms, cheese and chocolate, and reading about both horrible shit and positive things. 
“You mentioned that people might engage with media about dark topics to work through their feelings from their own abuse. How do I know if someone’s actually been abused?”
Why do you think it’s your right to ask that? 
Why are you prioritising your personal comfort and curiosity over that person’s privacy? If your instinct is to try to license who is and isn’t allowed to engage with a piece of art or media, why? 
You are never entitled to the details of someone else’s abuse. Your validation is not important enough to potentially trade for someone’s private traumas and experiences. 
“If you write or create about certain topics as a survivor, you’re just perpetuating abuse and you are as bad as your abuser!”
Creating works of art or fiction about people who are not real experiencing fictional harm that is also not real, is not in any way equivalent to real people doing real harm to others. 
If your support of abuse survivors hinges on how palatable their reaction to their abuse is, and you believe that some abuse survivors “deserve” their abuse for depicting their abuse in art and fiction, you’re not actually supporting survivors. 
If you believe that all abuse survivors do or should act the same way, or respond the same way, to their abuses, you are mistaken. 
If you are effectively angry at someone for not looking enough like a victim, for being “impure”, and therefore the same as their abuser, that is a form of victim blaming. 
Do you hold artists who create media about non-sexual trauma or violence to a different standard than those who write about sexual trauma or violence? 
Why? What is the difference to you?
If someone writing about sexual abuse in media is equivalent to real life abuse, is a fictional murder?
“People shouldn’t write or engage with media about traumatic things, they should just go to therapy!”
Therapy is not a moral machine where bad people with bad thoughts go in and good people with good thoughts go in. 
Good therapy and counselling provides us with the tools to manage our own mental health, our own emotional and psychological needs, heal from our traumas, and so forth. 
Many therapists will actually recommend safe re-exposure to frightening or upsetting topics, and also encourage self-expression on the subject of one’s most impactful experiences, which might include creating art and media to explore and discuss their feelings. 
With that said, therapy is as flawed as any other tools for emotional catharsis and healing — therapy and mental healthcare can be very expensive or inaccessible because of one’s working schedule; some therapists and mental health professionals are abusive or bigoted; some people may not be in the right place for MH care or therapy at this time, et cetera. 
Therapy isn’t a catch-all for anything you disapprove of in someone else, and it’s also not a punishment to force someone to repent for their sins. 
“It’s okay to write a story to cope, but you shouldn’t publish it in case it upsets others!”
So long as the work has appropriate content warnings and/or is published or screened in an appropriate space, it is not inherently harmful. In fact, reading narratives and engaging with those narratives can be valuable for us. 
Engaging with media that bears similarity to our own lives, reflects our own experiences, written by other people who we know understand the complicated emotions of survivors — whilst still condemning the actions of abusers or not — can be extremely validating and offer a lot of assurance. 
This is especially useful in regards to media that shows victims having a codependent relationship with or still loving their abusers, or where their abusers are shown as sympathetic, whilst the narrative still shows the toxicity and pain caused by the relationship. 
Moreover, there can be a sense of reclamation and security in exploring stories about similar harm as we’ve experienced whilst knowing we are now in a place of safety and are free from those past experiences, or that other survivors have escaped and we can too. 
“If children read this work or watch this show or play this game, they might think that the things depicted in it are okay!”
Is the work rated G or PG? 
Is it shown on a children’s TV channel, or appear in a section that is marked for children? Is it put on a children’s website, where the primary audience is children? 
In short, is the work aimed at kids?
If no, then it’s not for kids. 
Particularly if a work is marked for adult audiences only, if it’s labelled erotica, if it’s marked M or E or NC-17, if it says it’s for adults or asks people to check a box agreeing that they’re an adult, then the work in question is most definitely not for children. 
Everything in the world doesn’t have to be child-safe just because children exist.
It is the responsibility of parents and guardians to appropriately supervise their children’s online use, and to teach children and teenagers internet safety, some of which includes setting appropriate boundaries for themselves and not seeking out content that might distress them, or to know what to do if they stumble across content that does distress them — namely, to speak with a trusted adult about their feelings and what they can do to manage them and look after themselves, and be looked after.
It’s not the responsibility of random other adults in the world not to make horror movies or watch porn or play adult videogames or anything else, just because a child could potentially learn of their existence. 
“But someone else engaging with that work might think the things depicted in it are okay!”
You’re right, they might do. 
They might also engage with the work and think things depicted in it are bad. Fiction does not exclusively exist for our moral education. 
“It makes me feel uncomfortable or unsafe that people are writing about [a topic] with a tone or in a manner that seems wrong to me!”
Yes, many of us feel uncomfortable with some topics being depicted in fiction, and might find them viscerally disgusting or triggering, consider them to be in poor taste, badly considered, or similar. 
This is normal and okay. 
It’s perfectly natural to have limits on what one can handle in fiction, or to find your ethical considerations don’t match up with the things other people make. 
But it’s our job, as responsible adults who look after our own mental health and consider our own boundaries, to avoid that content. 
You cannot control what other people think about, feel about certain topics, or how they portray them in fiction. You cannot control other people. 
You can only control your environment, your boundaries, and the works you choose to engage with. 
You can limit your time on social media, mute tags or keywords, block particular users or sites, or simply look away or leave the room / close the tab. 
“What about rampant problematic works on Ao3!?”
Works on Ao3 are not a real issue. 
They are not representation. Fanworks and original works on Ao3 are not the mainstream. They are being read exclusively by members of various internet subcultures who read fanfiction in those specific fandoms, after reading the tags. 
This doesn’t mean we can’t or shouldn’t discuss certain tropes and norms in various fandoms — we might address our own biases around race, sexuality, religion, disability, and other characteristics, and how these biases and bigotries can come across in people’s approaches to fandom, the characters and ships they concentrate on, their headcanons, et cetera. 
The same can be said of people’s original creations. 
Ao3 has a robust tagging system, and allows people to mute and block tags they might be upset or triggered by — and in the event one clicks on an explicit work, a window will come up asking people to consent explicitly to moving through to read the work. 
It is people’s own responsibility to set their own limits as to what they can handle in reading fiction — and not to obsess over what other people might or might not be reading, which we cannot control, and is also none of our business. 
“What about loli and shotacon? Isn’t that the same as child pornography?”
“Child pornography” is generally not in use as a term — many people who have been victimised find that terms like “child porn” and CP grate, because “pornography” is work made with willing, adult participants. 
Videos and images produced of children are instead referred to either as CSAM — child sexual abuse materials — or CSEM — child sexual exploitation materials. CSEM is evil because it involves the unspeakable and agonising victimisation of a real life child or children, being abused and manipulated by adults around them, and worse than that initial victimisation, the recording their abuse is another victimisation in itself.
With every share of a piece of this material, that child or children are victimised another time, made vulnerable to more people, and the creation of this material can create more market desire, meaning that other abusers will encourage further abuse and recording of these children’s victimisation, or for the recording abusers to seek out other children to abuse. 
Victims of this sort of exploitation live in terror of the pictures or videos of their worst moments being shared to those they know, of being found by their loved ones, shared to workplaces, disseminated in any community they try to live in and be happy with — it is difficult enough to recover from one’s own abuse without the spectre of it constantly hanging over one’s head. 
People’s cartoons or art of fictional children is not equivalent to CSEM, because there are no real children depicted in it. 
It’s understandable to find these works disgusting or upsetting, triggering, unsettling — but to say that underage art or fiction is the same as or counts as CSEM is patently untrue. As a victim of CSA, it is galling to be told that choices my abuser made to harm and exploit me are equivalent to an abuser choosing to draw or read a comic about a victim that doesn’t actually exist. 
Some final questions to ask yourself: 
None of the above rebuttals are intended to imply people shouldn’t critique or criticise different media or their depictions. 
As well as the initial essay I linked, I actually wrote a big guide on how to approach close reading of text, and I’m working on another about analysing television and film.
In my opinion, it’s really important to be aware of different tropes and themes that you feel are harmful in fiction and art — racist tropes, sexist ones, homophobic ones, and all the rest.
It’s worth considering how works are harmful, and what you actually want to be done about it. 
I personally have criticisms of various tropes in media — I have particular dislike, for example, for the ways in which teacher/student relationships in TV shows and films are portrayed as “forbidden love”, with issue of their positions of power being depicted as one of bureaucracy or technical rules rather than a real power imbalance — I don’t care for the “sexy schoolgirl” trope, and the “barely legal” porn genre unsettles me.
All of the above three tropes often coincide with people’s thinking of teenage girls, especially those in school uniforms, as sex objects, and portraying school uniforms themselves as sexual or deserving of this sort of sexual attention. 
Not all depictions are the same — some works subvert the sexy schoolgirl trope by having those schoolgirls be secret monsters than punish abusers, and some works exist that critique teacher/student dynamics. 
It’s also important to note audience and outreach — a work that’s put on mainstream television channels or put in movie theatres by huge studios have a very different range of impact than an indie published novella, or one person’s fanfic on Ao3. 
Note where you’re holding individual or small studio creators — especially those who are in some way marginalised and are already facing adversity in their work — to higher account than large studios, or fixating on imagined harm their work could potentially cause. 
Is a work harmful, or is it just uncomfortable? Is it harmful, or is it just personally triggering to you? 
Can the work you’re concerned about do as much harm as you’re envisaging? Is it actually reaching the individuals you are worried might be vulnerable to harm as a result of it? Does the work intend to do that harm or hold those harmful views, and are the authors or creators working to address or apologise for that harm?
Is the work discussing, critiquing, or exploring the emotional impact of the dark themes within it? Does it have warnings or disclaimers before the work begins?
If you’re worried about a work “normalising” or “glorifying” a troubling subject — does the work actually do that? What is your evidence for this, having engaged with the text? Is that thing discussed in the text, argued, explored in-depth, or merely mentioned? Do characters show inner conflict and interpersonal conflict over it? Is it actually portrayed as good or normal? Is your concern the characters’ perspectives within the text, or the authors or creators’ opinions? 
Does the work carry ideas that are bigoted or feel like it includes apologism for some shitty ideas or ideology? Is the work a piece of propaganda, or function as propaganda? Do you feel the work is being advertised or pushed to an inappropriate audience for its subject matter?
If you do consider the work to be either likely to be personally distressing or upsetting to you, or potentially harmful because of its troubling or bigoted or just shitty ideas, how do you want to respond? 
If it’s the former, you should set your own boundaries — you should use your mute and block functions, you should avoid the work, you should seek out things that will comfort you, and perhaps discuss the distressing topics with someone you trust, whether that’s a friend or partner, a loved one, or a counsellor or therapist. 
If it’s the latter, you should absolutely deconstruct the piece in question and analyse the ways in which it’s shitty or harmful, or read essays by those who’ve done that work. You can maybe warn your friends about it, or if it’s a work of political concern — if the harm is being done because the work provides financial support to a hate group or a bigoted public persona, for example, you might perform a boycott, or involve yourself in acts of protest in response to the work or its creators. 
If it’s important enough to you and your beliefs that you feel urged to do those things, perhaps you should — if all you feel urged to do is to harass or shout at people online, though, it might be better for your own mental health to take a step back and do something more positive for yourself. 
Sometimes, a piece of work or media will be shitty, and shitty people will love it, and that will kinda suck — God knows I’ll see work that’s really transphobic or homophobic or antisemitic, and it’ll upset me that people I otherwise love and respect seem to be enjoying it so much. 
I can talk to my friends and my family about it, and I’ll do that — and I can mute and block the topic, and critique it in the right circles, or write essays if I’m really inspired to, responding to the work and what I feel its impact is…
But if my instinct becomes to just snipe at people for enjoying it when they really don’t know what the problem is, or have a go at them when they’re doing so unthinkingly, that’s not really helpful to them or to myself. It’s not addressing the harm I feel is being done, and nor is it really constructive. 
I’m an adult, after all — as I’ve said a few times already, it’s our own responsibility to set our own boundaries and consider what we’re doing to safeguard ourselves, and if in setting those boundaries and personal safeguarding limits, whether they’re in line with our own ethics and morality. 
We cannot control other people and their feelings, or the works they create, but we can take care of ourselves, including breaking ourselves out of obsessive moral spirals or anxieties about other people’s thoughts — and personally, I think that’s actually a very revolutionary thing to do given that we exist in a world that constantly tries to encourage (and monetise) that sort of aimless outrage. 
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guzhufuren · 11 days
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The message that P'Sammon, the writer of 4 Minutes, shared on her twitter (heads up it's google translated)
[Great Tyme]
Many people have understood correctly. In the real dimension, how could Great and Tyme love each other? One is a loveless child who looks at the other with lust. The other is a young doctor who is stuck in resentment. If Great and Thyme had never entered the four-minute dimension, there is no way they could have loved each other.
But both of them had the opportunity to enter the four-minute dimension, which is not an imaginary world, but a parallel universe connected by a bridge called NDE (Near-Death Experience).
[What if]
The four-minute dimension is a world where...
What if… Great is brave enough to stand up for what is right.
What if… Tyme can put down his resentment.
Therefore, their relationship develops properly and gradually. Love can then arise in that dimension.
Fortunately, Great and Tyme have the opportunity to return to a new life in a world where time moves forward normally. The brave Great and Tyme who put down their resentment have remembered the love that they had for each other in the four-minute dimension and continue to love each other in the real dimension. Even though Great still has to take responsibility for the consequences of his own actions, Great is no longer alone. Tyme will be the one who will be by Great’s side from now on.
The love of this couple originated in a different way because these are Great and Tyme. Two young men whose hearts stopped beating at the same time at 11:00 am and had the opportunity to enter a special time together, both of them learned not only about love and relationships but also about making decisions in life.
[Regret]
The author's mother always made this joke that "knowing something is not as good as knowing if I should have", which made the author think carefully before deciding to do or say anything. If I had known, I would have been able to change it while I was still alive, but if I had known, when I was 'about to die', I would not have been able to do anything. The experience of caring for terminally ill patients taught the author that we should not live our lives as if the end would never come. This idea reduces impulsiveness, spontaneity, and ignorance. Every decision is under our control.
[Timeless]
Does a timeless land really exist? From an author's perspective, I believe it does. But with the potential of humans who can only control the dimensions of width, length, and height, and perceive the time dimension that flows forward and does not reverse, life is determined by lifespan. But if we can bring ourselves to experience the fifth dimension, for whatever reason, we may escape from the rules of time or even control time ourselves.
The author would like to ask permission not to reveal all the theories of science, physics, medicine, research, or philosophy used to create this story. In fact, there are visual symbols, additional interpretations from the production team and actors that the author must analyze himself as well. Therefore, it is open for discussion. There is no right or wrong. You can throw theories around as much as you want. I really like to read everyone's analysis.
Thank you to all viewers who have been following 4MINUTES all along. Me and the team will accept all criticism to improve and develop future works. 🥰
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filmnoirsbian · 2 years
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There are some things that cannot and should not be considered art. Art needs to have meaning and depth. “Middle grade” books and other pieces of media made for or about kids and teenagers simply don’t have the same capacity for deeper meaning. I think it’s fine for adults to consume pieces of media like that ocassionally, but it’s like reading Fanfiction or eating junk food; it has no real value, and it’s self-indulgent in way that is detrimental. Read what you want, but don’t pretend that middle grade or young adult is great literature, or that the people who make them are somehow creating art. It’s that sort of mindset that breeds “writers” like John Green and Becky Albertalli.
I contemplated simply blocking you over this but in the end decided to use your extremely pretentious ask to announce my appreciation of and respect for kid lit and especially middle grade lit. Literature for kids is some of the most important you can ever write, because these are the stories that can make a lifelong reader or turn someone away from literature completely. That anyone could look at books like the Chronicles of Narnia, His Dark Materials, Esperanza Rising, Walk Two Moons, Monster, The Watsons Go to Birmingham, anything by Kate DiCamillo, The House on Mango Street--and hundreds more--and say "there's no art there" just proves that any enjoyment you get from reading lies only in seeming intellectual to others and reveling in that perceived intellectualism, rather than engaging with a writer's creation. It's also overwhelmingly sad. In my experience, the adults that look down on kid literature--despite it being these very books that made them love reading in the first place--tend to be incapable of finding joy in the smaller aspects of life, or in any piece of art that isn't critically acclaimed so they have some proof that their taste is better than other people's.
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gb-patch · 1 month
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Sorry to send another ask amongst the sea I'm sure you're receiving, but I find myself more concerned about Rose being a sensitivity reader as I find more information. One of Rose's friends continues to insist that the conversation about Tamarack and male MCs was part of a larger discussion about biphobia in the fandom. However, they claim that Rose's position is "people erase Tam's bi/pansexuality by refusing to portray [her] as being attracted to anything other than men." This explanation of Rose's belief is, in-and-of-itself, biphobic. It claims that portraying Tamarack as attracted to men erases her queerness. This is textbook biphobia and bi-erasure that I as a bisexual encounter every day. It is NOT a good-faith defense of a queer character. It reduces us down to our partners and makes the claim that if we end up in a relationship that's "straight-passing," we're erasing our queerness. Especially as a bi sapphic myself, it reduces my identity strictly to the perceived-man I'm dating, and not my inner or previous experiences, or those of my partner. It's very uncomfortable that Rose, a non-bisexual, was discussing this like they're defending Tamarack's queerness when they're doing the opposite.
This is a doubly strange position when Our Life is a game about the acceptance of love in all its forms. The conversation could be different, MAYBE, if Our Life was a TV show or a book or a comic. But this is a game where people are meant to play as characters of their own design. I do not feel confident about Rose being a sensitivity reader for a game with bi/pansexual love interests if these are their beliefs about bi/pansexuality, particularly if they're unable to adapt their opinions to be relevant to different formats of media; this shows they're lacking in skill in the areas of media literacy and critical thinking.
I’ve been trying to make a post that presents the concerns people have about this, but your ask touches on the points I was going to, and I’d say it’s better to have it said by a player than me deciding what people are thinking. So, this is something that I want to make clear- that I see this and other asks/comments about it. What you’ve said is something a lot of people are unsure and upset about. I am sorry that you feel so out of place in this community now. And I am also sorry to players of any sexuality who use a male MC. That comment dismissed players and Tamarack’s identity.
It did come from a longer discussion about bi-phobia issues. The overall feelings were “if people did only want Tamarack to be interested in men, I really wouldn’t like that and wouldn’t it be a funny concept if Tamarack then left them for a woman?”. The comment itself didn’t encompass that idea at all. It does not give a good impression about where they’re coming from. It was unkind.
The viewpoint Rose is trying to have isn’t that “Tamarack can never express an interest in men” which would be wrong, it’s “I stand by the fact that Tamarack is someone who wouldn’t only be interested in men and no one else”. If it’s true that Rose likes Tamarack being interested in all genders and doesn’t want her bi-ness to be forgotten, I’d say that’s an acceptable view. If the point actually is that Tamarack should only be with women and if she’s not than Tamarack is no longer bi or she’s a bad character, then you're right- that isn't acceptable and that is going to get someone removed from the project. I do believe Rose agrees with what you’re saying and means it when they say they want to stop bi-erasure, not participate in it for real. But they had a very harsh way of talking about it.
I understand that people don’t know Rose and this situation has made them believe they do seriously hold that first view. But from working with them, there’s never been any feedback that shows an opinion of the sort.
Right now, I think that comment was being edgy and making a quick, very poorly-worded quip to people they’d been chatting with about that topic already. Rose has left the GB Patch discord servers, they used to be a mod, and may or may not ever be back in there. Rose won’t make blog posts responding to players going forward. They’re going to take a break from this and then try to give helpful feedback. We’re going to see if things can be okay from here.
And with this coming up, we’re all really aware that it’s something to consider about the game. I’m going to be as conscious as I can for any advice that seems to go against the character’s identities and I’m going to question my own knee-jerk choices for how I handle things. Other sensitivity readers will be able to give their viewpoints as well, so will the players. If the game’s content isn’t welcoming or is biased people will notice, and I’ll be here to accept what I’ve done. I don’t want that to be the result of this, of course. I hope the game will be thoughtful and considerate, but I can’t fire Rose at this point to try doing that.
No one has to keep following the game, though. I’m sympathetic to anyone who is too uncomfortable with all this to stay around.
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mixtape-timeout · 3 months
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This is the last post I will be making on this topic. Since gimmeurtmi is back and posting again, here is yet another reminder for you that she is a Zionist. She is trying to spin the story and claim that people are witch-hunting her for being Israeli, which is just another excuse to deflect from her disgraceful behavior. Since she wants to say that we are spreading misinformation, please look at the screenshots in the link. These are screenshots of posts SHE made herself. Not my words, just hers. Read her posts without any of my commentary, and come to your own conclusions about her beliefs. Her posts speak for themselves.
((More below))
She can say she's Pro-Palestine all she wants, but her actions do not reflect that. I can't prove if she is attending peace rallies like she says she is, but what we do know is that the things she says and does are in direct contradiction of this. Please look at the tags of the original callout post and see the sheer number of bloggers (including other authors) she had blocked for being Pro-Palestine. She claims she blocked people for being Anti-Semitic, but what she perceives as "Anti-Semitic" is anything Anti-Zionist. The testimonies from people who used to follow her and used to be very close friends with her all say she is a very manipulative person who always makes herself the victim. She has repeatedly made Zionist posts, deleted them, pretended to change her views, post "Pro-Palestine" things, then go back and show her true colors once the accusations blow over. She had reblogged fundraisers for Rafah weeks ago on her blog @stuckonspidey after being called out that are now nowhere to be found. She is a liar and a manipulator who has repeatedly said things that contradict her actions just to save face.
If she's Pro-Palestine, why does she make posts sympathizing with the IDF? Why does she support the occupational force that kills Palestinians for fun, undresses hostages to humiliate them (including CHILDREN), beats hostages to death with hammers in their captivity, disguises themselves as HUMANITARIAN AID to kill hundreds of refugees, takes pictures with hostages/dead bodies and posts them on social media, steals Palestinian women's underwear and takes pictures with it after killing them/ransacking their houses, targets journalists and humanitarian aid workers, straps injured Palestinians to their trucks and uses them as human shields? This is the army that fired 355 bullets at the car that 6 year old Hind Raghab was in while she was surrounded by her dead family members, KNOWING she was in there. They are a depraved, violent occupational force that kills and tortures civilians, and one of the most basic pillars of being Pro-Palestine is opposing the IDF. You cannot be Pro-Palestine and have sympathy for the army that is killing and oppressing them. You cannot say you stand for Palestinian liberation and peace, yet mourn for their oppressors when the resistance fights back. There is proof all over the internet of the IDF's war crimes because they post it themselves. Here are a few links if you don't believe me. LINK LINK LINK LINK. Please research it yourself, too. You'll find no shortage of it.
If she is Pro-Palestine, why does she refuse to acknowledge it as a genocide? Why does she call it a "war"? Why does she call the International Court of Justice's decision to take Israel to court for its war crimes "questionable"? If she believes what Israel is doing is wrong, why would she criticize it being held accountable for its crimes against humanity? If she is Pro-Palestine, why would she call an Israeli propaganda movie that paints Arabs as barbaric savages her all time favorite and complain that it's getting RIGHTFULLY negative reviews for its blatant racism, glorification of war criminal Golda Mier, and historical misinformation? Her excuse was that "she posted about a movie because she likes movies." That is an absolutely pitiful reason and being deliberately obtuse to distract from the actual issue. When you say it like that, of course it sounds harmless, but the CONTENT of the movie matters. For example: Would you call "The Birth of A Nation", a disgustingly racist white supremacy propaganda movie your favorite? Absolutely NOT. And if you did, people would rightfully question you for that. If she's Pro-Palestine, why didn't she boycott LMB when there are two Zionists on it? One of which (Johnny Goldstein) is a former IDF soldier and attends Pro-Israel events? If she's Pro-Palestine, why would she use the well-known Zionist talking points, conflating Judaism with Zionism, and saying that when people say "Zionist" they really mean "Jew"? If She's Pro-Palestine, why would she have such an issue with Stays trying to inform Felix about the Coca-Cola boycott and say they are bullies? Do you notice a pattern here? Her labeling ANY attempts at calling out Zionism to be "bullying" or "Anti-Semitic"? This is the exact rhetoric Zionists use. Once again, she can say she's Pro-Palestine, she might even actually believe that she is, but her behavior does not reflect this. Saying "My posts aren't Anti-Palestinian because I'm not Anti-Palestinian" proves absolutely nothing. Someone who can't even call the genocide a genocide is not an ally to Palestine.
She continues to hide behind "Anti-Semitism" despite me and many of my friends who called her out being Jews or of Jewish ancestry ourselves. If you look through my blog, you will see a majority of my posts are dedicated to dismantling the idea that Jews = Zionists. I have worked so hard in my community to do this in real life, and it's incredibly frustrating to see her perpetuating this harmful stereotype when us Anti-Zionist Jews are doing everything we can to separate Judaism from Zionism. She is also saying we are racist against Israelis, which is an absolutely ludicrous claim. Israeli is not a race, just like American isn't a race. Israeli is a Nationality. 75% of Jewish people are Ashkenazim, meaning European/White, and about 50% of Israelis are White. Nationality =/= Race. Her claims of racism are, again, her using terms of discrimination to distract from her blatantly Zionist posts.
Furthermore the claim that we are attacking her simply for being Israeli is not only wrong, it makes no sense. I was not aware that she was Israeli before suspecting her of being a Zionist. A huge chunk of Zionists are actually Western Christians who support Israel for Anti-Semitic reasons, and I would NEVER sabotage a fellow Jew for their identity. I went out of my way to emphasize this in the first post. Gimmeurtmi was called out for Zionism that me and several other people in the community recognized, point blank period. We are not "painting her in a specific light", we are bringing attention to harmful, dangerous things SHE said. If I presented her posts to you without commentary, even in context, you could come to the same conclusion. The original callout post was edited many times with many additions as new screenshots/information came forward, and it was through the comments from other people talking about their experience with her that we found out that she was Israeli and had made those Anti-Palestinian posts on October 7th (which she deleted). It was her thinly-veiled Zionism that originally raised our suspicions, the knowledge that she's Israeli came after.
I know gimmeurtmi will continue to see herself as a victim no matter what. I know she will keep pretending she's being attacked for her identity just as all Zionists do. This post is just to disprove her accusations that we called her out on the basis of "racism", when the callout for her was a result of HER racism herself. I never had any problem with gimmeurtmi before she blocked me, I enjoyed her fics and looked up to her, as many others in the community did. She gave me no reason to dislike her before this. The only reason my friends and I put that post together was because we felt it was imperative that someone like her, who uses her SKZ blog to normalize Zionist ideology amidst a genocide, gets de-platformed. I cannot tell you what to believe, but I urge you to be careful and understand what a manipulative person she is. I urge you to read the screenshots of her posts for yourself and come to your own conclusion.
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furiousgoldfish · 10 months
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How many of these 'rules for thee but not for me' have your abusive parents enforced on you?
I am allowed to criticize you, insult you, humiliate you and put you down in front of others. If you ever as much as imply I do anything wrong, or make me look bad in front of anyone, I will end you.
I am allowed to be aggressive, loud, intimidating, forceful and violent. You're not allowed to use force even in self defense, otherwise you are the abusive one, and how dare you.
I am allowed to need attention, comfort, appreciation, admiration, praise, reassurance, resources, time, energy, and everyone's support, at all times. If you ever need any of this, not only you are a burden but you're taking away attention that could have been mine and I need it more than you do. You do not deserve any of it.
I am allowed to make mistakes, to do harm with 'good intentions', to make human error and do things completely wrong. Everyone needs to give me a benefit of the doubt and forgive me immediately. If you ever make something I decide is a mistake, not only I will assume you had the worst intentions, but I will punish you severely for it and make you feel like you're the worst failure ever born.
I am allowed to control you completely. I can forbid and deny you anything, even food. I say what you do and when you do it, and you have to do it regardless of how rude I am asking it. If you ever even ask me to do something you need me to do, I will act like you are unreasonable, selfish and trying to take something away from me.
I am allowed to be emotional, whiny, complain, rant, threaten, wallow and cry. You are not allowed to show any emotions or you're spoiled, whiny, insufferable and unworthy of human society.
I am allowed to be seen as human and reasonable, all my actions excusable, and nobody is ever allowed to forget that I have emotions and that it's wrong to blame me for anything. You are not allowed any of this, you don't get to be taken seriously, and all of your actions are inexcusable. I can forget you're human and that you have emotions and it still makes me better than you.
I am allowed to hurt you if you do anything that irritates or annoys me even a little, even if you did it unknowingly and were just being a human. If you ever hurt me, even accidentally, you are a demon, worst child alive, and deserve to burn in hell forever.
I can take any revenge against you and it's justified. If you even consider any kind of revenge, you're evil.
I can forget that you exist and not care at all how my decisions affect you and your life. If you ever make a decision without considering my feelings first, you are the most selfish, disgusting, deprived and evil person who lives only to cause me harm.
My anger directed at you is righteous. Your anger directed at me is selfish, ungrateful, spoiled, deranged, out of control, disgusting, dangerous, makes you evil.
If I ever show contempt at you, you are supposed to still rationalize it as 'love'. If you ever as much as look at me wrong, I will take it as an expression of utter unreasonable hatred and disrespect.
I deserve respect, regardless of what I do to you. You don't deserve respect, and you never will, regardless of what you do for the rest of your life.
I am intelligent, and my every decision is superior to any of yours. You will never be intelligent, your every decision will be considered stupid until you do exactly as I tell you to.
I decide who you are and how are you to be treated. You don't get to decide, not for yourself, not for me. You will perceive me how I tell you to perceive me. I will perceive you as unlovable and awful no matter what you do, and you must perceive yourself this way too.
You must center me in your life. You are completely irrelevant to me and exist solely to make me look good, give me benefits of labour and love and to avoid making any trouble for me. If you try to do otherwise I will attack you as if you are the worst creature existing who is a burden to everyone alive.
Guests and relatives are here to give attention to me. You are not allowed attention and should instead be there as a servant/make me look good.
It is never my fault how I react to you, or even for what I do to you unprovoked. It is always your fault how you react to me, and you are further responsible for all of my actions and emotions as well. Nobody is responsible for your emotions, you might as well not have any.
I am not responsible for my own violence. You are responsible for my violence, and for violence of other people towards you.
I deserve everything I ever wanted from parenthood and raising a child, and only good parts too. If anyone tries to make me go through any unpleasant part, they're stupid or evil. You do not deserve even the basics of a normal childhood, instead you need to be the toughest kid alive if you want to survive.
I can be sensitive to every little hint, implication or face expression. You are not allowed to be sensitive even to the most crude and humiliating remarks or insults. You are not allowed to even have a problem with threats, blackmail or violence.
Whatever bothers me is a real and serious issue. Whatever bothers you is superficial, unimportant, made-up, you dramatizing and you seeking attention. Your problems are not real.
I cannot be compared to anyone for I am unique and special. You can be compared to the most despicable monsters, criminals, predators, and other groups of people that I consider disgusting.
If I am sick, it's a tragedy. If you are sick, stop pretending and get to work. And it's also your own fault and how dare you be sick only to force me to tolerate you being in bed and otherwise ignore you. You've done this on purpose to make me worry.
If I'm hurt, no measure is big enough to comfort me, bring justice back into the world, ensure revenge and correct whatever evil hurt me. If you're hurt, you deserved it, and you're probably just making it up anyway.
Taking care of me is your responsibility. Taking care of you is nobody's chore and you're selfish for wanting it.
My problem are your problems, and you are responsible for fixing them, even when you can't possibly do anything about them. Your problems are irrelevant and nobody cares.
You have to make me look good even at the price of truth, free will, and your own sanity. I can make you look bad in front of others for fun and amusement.
If you're inconvenient to me, I have every right to hate you, hurt you and do anything in the world to force you to change whatever is bothering me. If I'm inconvenient to you, adjust, and keep silent.
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pubbamoon · 4 months
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Venus signs and your music taste
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Hey! Hope you're doing well. This is going to be the first (and maybe last, haha) post about astrology, 'cause I've been into that thing for five years, I guess. Since I'm interested in music, my first astrology observation will be about how someone's Venus sign can affect someone's music taste. It's also a Friday, a Venus-ruled day. So, let's go!? This is based on the tropical/western astrology. Take it as it resonates and leave what doesn't.
Venus in Aries: Oh well, that's the wild one! People with this Venus may love listening to kind of music which makes them confident, or you should use the music this way. Aries naturally rules over the 1st house of self and personality, so you guys with Aries Venus might listen to the song/music which resonates to your character or describes your life path. On the other hand, you may love energetic and bold type of music that can move you, something like EDM or Dance music!? Venus is in detriment in Aries, which is not a good sign in default. That means you might love type of music that is not well perceived by the music critics. You may also love rap/hip-hop music as well.
Venus in Taurus: Venus is in domicile in Taurus, which means that Venus is in own sing since it naturally rules over Taurus sign (and the 2nd house as well). This is a great sign for Venus to be in, music literally runs in your blood (take it as it resonates). You may love the type of music that grounds you and makes you peaceful. You can also prefer quality over quantity and listen to the songs that has some value or quality. Overall, you might love listening to music that is perceived as normal, stable or even predictable. Taurus is an earth sign, after all. Venus in Gemini: This sign rules the 3rd house of communication, words and self-expression, so you might prefer the lyrics when it comes to music. It doesn't have to be the case with all of you with Gemini Venus, but it can be (lol, what was that?). You may love to listen to the music that is relatable to you and your life circumstances. Your favorite artists could be singer-songwriters, who put their own lyrics first and who express themself freely. You can also listen to the different kind of music, since Gemini is the mutable sign, represented by the twins, which makes Gemini a dual sign. Your music taste is really versatile with this placement.
Venus in Cancer: You may love emotional type of music that gives you some kind of comfort. Cancer rules the 4th house of comfort and emotions, which makes sense. Moon is the natural ruler of Cancer and is associated with the homeland, which means that when it comes to music, you might listen to traditional or even patriarchal type of music that is related to you birth land/country or you love listening to the songs where your homeland is celebrated. Your favorite music genre could be folk, country or any other music genre that relates to your culture. Finally, you may love music that sounds familiar or nostalgic and this could mean listening to the retro music from the older times.
Venus in Leo: Similar with the Aries Venus, you may love listening to the music that boosts your confidence. Since Leo rules over the 5th house of creativity and hobbies, you don't like to be told what to listen to and don't rely on trends. You might also like romantic type of music, 'cause 5th house is associated with romance and short-term relationships. Your music playlist could be filled with a lot of shiny and bright songs that give you joy.
Venus in Virgo: I can sense that you are so picky while choosing the songs for playlists or while listening to the music in general. You may seek for perfection in every part of the song, the perfect lyrics, perfect instrumentals, perfect production etc. I feel like you always read the reviews written by music critics before choosing to listening anything, 'cause you're all so skeptical and suspicious. Venus is debilitated/in fall in Virgo, which means that Virgo is the worst sign possible for Venus. This basically correlates everything that I said about this placement.
Venus in Libra: Another domiciled position for Venus, which is great. Libra is a people-oriented sign and it rules over the 7th house of partnerships, marriage and long-term relationships, so you may love listening to songs with this type of themes. You might also like love songs or collaborations. It can be hard sometimes to choose what's your favorite artist, 'cause it seems to me that you may like both or every artist the same way, which makes sense since Libra is all about balancing things in our life.
Venus in Scorpio: First of all, it feels that you're pretty passionate about music. Second of all, you may like intense, dark type of music and your favorite artist is likely who can express raw emotions. You possibly hide your music playlist on Spotify (or on any other platforms) because of shame or you just don't want people to see you music taste. The themes of songs you may like to hear in songs are mostly breakups, criminal, transformations etc. You may listen to music to heal your wounds too. You may also feel like you rise like a Phoenix when you listen to the music.
Venus in Sagittarius: This placement tells me that you may possibly like optimistic type of music which is made for parties. The songs you listen to might be translucent or airy which make you want to dance or jump. The songs you like could also have deep meaning, since Sagittarius and 9th house are associated with philosophies, knowledge and wisdom. You may like music with a good atmosphere or which can make you feel good. This is such a funny and adventurous placement, love that.
Venus in Capricorn: It seems to me that you might have a serious approach when it comes to music. You may like quality, elegant, or even classical music (this won't apply for everyone). You don't mind when a particular song lasts more than five minutes, you even like to listen to long songs, 'cause Saturn represents longevity. By saying that, you like to listen to the music that ages like fine wine. Maybe you like to read reviews before listening to song or album. I have this placement in my tropical natal chart and I check the reviews out before listening to the whole body of work, haha lol.
Venus in Aquarius: Hmm, I think there's two sides of this placement. The first ones with this placement love to listen to experimental and eccentric type of music. When it comes to music, they like to stand out from the crowd and listen to something what is considered weird by societal norms. Aquarius sign always reminds me of the hippie culture from the 1960s. The second ones having this placements are one of the basic people out there, they listen to something that everyone listens to and they don't mind following the trends. Mind you that Aquarius rules the 11th house of the collective, masses of people, so it's not unusual for Aquarius Venus people to listen to something that is mainstream.
Venus in Pisces: Venus is exalted in Pisces, which means that Venus functions well here. Pisces rules over the 12th house of foreign culture, something hidden, and it's also associated with oceans. This tells me that you may like more listening to the music that comes from the different land or culture than yours. You can use music to heal yourself or to process your deep emotions. Similar with Scorpio Venus, you may also hide your music playlist from everyone else, 'cause you value privacy when it comes to the thing you love. This placement can indicate great taste of music or listening to the bunch of artists who aren't mainstream or who express their emotions.
That is everything I have to write. Hope you like this observation of mine. Make sure to care about yourself and do something you love to do. It's Friday, the Venus-ruled day after all.
Best regards,
Paky McGee
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