#which then sets up her reaction to him trying to sacrifice himself later that night

[steps-to-parnassus]

dead men tell no tales reimagined as horror-action

thinking again about how dead men tell no tales had so much wasted potential to be a fantastic horror-action film. instead of focusing on j*hnny d*pp and his stale, washed-out-drunk “comedy” or trying to shoehorn in yet another love story to replace will and elizabeth, the writers/producers/directors should have taken a look at the absolutely phenomenal make-up, costuming, digital effects, and actors’ performances that they had on their hands for the crew of the Silent Mary, and at how the original script written by Ted and Terry heavily played up the horror element.

a horror-focused film would have been a breath of fresh air for the series and could have even made several other elements of the film (lieutenant scarfield, shansa, etc) work better. it would have made the idea of a “final adventure” ring much more true, and most of all, it would have harkened back to the horror elements prevalent in curse of the black pearl and ESPECIALLY dead man’s chest, which worked very strongly in those films’ favour.

just think about the possibilities (quite long, so i’ll put it under a cut):

ghostly hands coming out of the walls of the Monarch like in the trailer, but the viewer never sees what happens next. all we get are flashes of the massacre and Henry’s perspective, trapped in the brig with no light as he struggles to see and hears screams of terror and demonic shrieks of glee.

we don’t see the ghosts coming into the brig due to the darkness; all we see are golden pinpricks in the dark, noises of shuffling and agonized breaths and the sense that something is terribly wrong. they only appear to the audience as one of them brings a torch down into the brig for Henry’s benefit, and suddenly the Mary’s crew is revealed in all their terrifying glory to both Henry and us.

they stare and leer at him, and crewmembers in the background have red blood around their mouths. the audience gets the sense that they very much don’t want to let Henry go.

when we next see Henry in Saint Martin, he’s raving. he still meets Carina, still speaks with her, still agrees to help her, but he is terrified by what he has seen. he tells her about the corpses and the pools of blood he had to walk through to get to the Monarch’s longboat. he tells her how the demons watched him go with hungry eyes. he tells her that he can still hear the screams.

Scarfield does not seek to kill Henry just because he is a traitor - Scarfield sees him with Carina, whom he lusts after. Henry might help her off the island, might protect her. Scarfield wants him out of the way so that he might possess. he has heard plenty of the ghostly crew and cares not that they are attacking british ships - every officer not himself that dies is a greater chance Scarfield will be promoted in the seniority-obsessed ranking system.

Jack is doing well when we first see him, the cunning fast-talker we’ve always known him to be. it is only after the rumours of a ghostly crew with a captain calling himself Salazar spread like wildfire around Saint Martin that he starts trying to drown himself in liquor to assuage the bone-deep terror. 

when Salazar and his crew are freed, they don’t have a mild little cheer. no, they tear their hair and howl like madmen. they have been storing all their pain and hate against pirates and empires for decades - they are going to bathe the oceans in blood.

when we first see Shansa, she is hooded and cloaked, somehow able to track the movements of the dead. she takes her robe off and we see why: she is covered in scars from blades and fingernails and teeth, wounds left her when she was the “one man left alive” from a voyage into the Triangle many years ago, back when the Mary’s crew could not control their bloodlust as well as they can now. and that is terrifying to us - what they did on the Monarch was their version of being restrained.

we see the news of the dead crew spreading as they attack pirates and british ships alike. churches are overflowing with terrified citizens; people bar their doors and hold fast their rosaries and guns at night.

Jack’s crew were loyal to him up until they heard of the dead - now they must be paid off by Henry to rescue Jack, because every pirate in the Caribbean knows who Salazar is; and now that he is the undead, they daren’t let him find them. the rumours are coming back from men left alive that the crew of the Mary sing and laugh as they butcher without remorse, that the evil curse they lay under forces them to feast on human flesh just to keep going, just to feel anything. Jack’s crew do not mutiny later because he suggests it - they mutiny out of sheer terror.

the scene with Salazar and Barbossa’s first encounter is one of the few in the film where the horror element is quite prominent (the other being Salazar’s intro, and it isn’t a coincidence that these are two of the film’s strongest and most compelling scenes). very little about this would need to be changed to work, save for one thing: Salazar does not tap his sword five times at the end. instead he simply says, “you can take what’s left of them,” and nods to his lieutenant and his men, who all begin to smile as they turn to the crew. when we see them next, Barbossa’s crew are down to less than half. we never find out what happens to them.

when Salazar tells his story and we see the past, we are stunned. here is the crew of the Mary, working together, smiling, laughing at their victory. we see and hear them talking about how finally civilians will be safe; about how they can retire, go back to their wives and children and parents and siblings. we see them as normal men with a noble goal. 

we see them awake and scream in pain and terror, and it is on their agonized screaming at the start of their decades-long imprisonment that we cut back to the present. now we can understand, at least a little, how once-good men became monsters.

Carina, Henry, and Jack would have far more dramatic reactions to the Mary’s crew on the beach. for Henry, these are the demons that slaughtered an entire crew as he sat in the brig, trapped and helpless and terrified that his horrific end was imminent. for Jack, these are men whom he’s seen before as humans, and whose hatred and bloodlust is directed at him. for Carina, who has never seen ghosts before, she is struck dumb. these men have horrific injuries, and they are looking at her with detached curiosity and bloodlust that seems a thousand times more horrifying than the looks Scarfield gave her. she can almost see what they would have done to her had they caught her.

there is no ridiculous wedding scene on at hangman’s bay. instead, the locals saw the giant ghost ship sailing into their waters. they know who it is the demons want, but are not aware that the Mary’s crew cannot set foot on land. they intend to give Jack up to the ghosts in exchange for their own lives.

Salazar still executes Barbossa’s men in the name of the king. he is completely mad, but some part of him still thinks himself a righteous naval officer.

Scarfield wants the trident, but more than that, he wants to use it and Shansa’s knowledge to control these dead men. he remembers the reign of terror Beckett wrought with the Dutchman. he would see it repeated for his own personal gain.

in the ship-to-ship battle, Henry initially tries to defend Carina until he realizes that the ghosts aren’t attacking her. they want her to lead them to the trident so that they can seize it for themselves. our heroes do not yet know that they want to end their curse. in fact, the crew of the Mary don’t really know that themselves - they’d much rather have the pirates surrounding them dead to rights, and then free themselves.

every time one of the Mary’s crew is dissipated due to contact with land, the others react. they scream and howl and gnash their teeth and their eyes flare gold. the viewer can feel how much they would like to crush the heroes’ bones into pulp.

when Henry is captured, the officers of the Mary cannot take their eyes off of him. he is terrified for his life, shaking the whole time. when Lesaro mentions that they have tried possession before, the other officers mourn their comrades who became trapped in human bodies and slowly died of thirst, still unable to leave the Triangle, all because they wanted to see the sun again. the viewer is conflicted - are we supposed to pity these monsters? there are flashes beneath the madness that suggests that deep down, they just want to be human again.

when the crew’s curse is broken, we see more of it. we see limbs regrow, bodies knit together again. we see the bloodthirsty monsters we have come to fear laughing and weeping with joy, embracing each other. we hear their terrified screams for help as Salazar finally demonstrates that his own bloodlust was decidedly not the byproduct of a curse as was the case for his crew and pursues Jack.

Barbossa climbs down the chain to kill Salazar, but the former spanish officer deals a mortal blow. just as he is about to kill Barbossa, Jack himself decides to muster up his courage and sacrifice to save those dear to him, which throughout the films, he has always done. he falls from the anchor, and together with his rival-turned-best-friend, he plummets to his death with one last jaunty sweep of his tricorne hat.

there are many dead from the battle. Barbossa’s pirate empire is in ruins, and british power in the caribbean has taken a massive hit. people everywhere are terrified. Henry, however, finds that his terror has stopped and resolves to be a braver man after witnessing what Barbossa and Jack have done. Carina pledges to honour her father and never again to disbelieve in ghost stories. she decides to become a pirate.

in this bittersweet ending, a glimmer of hope: the Dutchman surfaces, with two new crewmembers. Will hangs up his hat to Jack, with Barbossa as his first mate, and Jack is finally reunited with Bill, who has made amends with Barbossa. the old captain-versus-captain dynamic is back - and destined to play out forever. with uncharacteristic solemnity, Jack vows to ferry Salazar’s crew to the other side so that they can finally rest.

Will climbs aboard the Black Pearl, where the crew has elected Carina Barbossa captain. he asks if she might sail him to Singapore - his wife is the pirate king and lord of the south china sea, and that is where she holds court. Henry and Carina, true pirates, share a kiss as the sun rises and our heroes head off to find new adventure. the nightmare is finally over.

[disloopy]

𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐞

i wanted to write a college au but i was also horny so this came into existence.

tendou satori

word count: 6199

genre: smut but with a plot??

It was hard to study with your parents constantly bickering in the living room downstairs. Ever since you moved back in with them, you've found it hard to concentrate on virtually anything besides their frequent, yet petty, arguments. Sometimes you'd stay at college late into the evenings under the guise of classes and assignments but really you just hated being around them. The stress of school was already a mounting threat without the emotional toll of your parents' nearly shattered relationship.

Scraping your chair back as you stood up, you decided you'd had enough. You shoved your textbooks, notebooks, and some random clothing articles from the top of your drawer into a bag and ran down the stairs. Your mother twisted her body around to face you from the couch, an eyebrow raised.

"Where are you going, young lady?" 

You didn't look at her in the process of yanking on your shoes. "I'm going to Sam's house or am I not even allowed to visit her without you breathing down my neck?" you asked sharply, feeling your heart hammer in your chest. You were fed up. "I'm twenty and under no obligation to listen to the two of you arguing about whatever movie you want to watch just because you don't have the cajones to discuss the real issue!"

With finality, you slammed the door shut behind you and hopped onto your bike, pedaling as fast as legally possible out of the neighborhood. You always knew that the main reason your parents had urged you to move back in with them was to fill the empty void their failed marriage left in the house. At first, even you were convinced that your presence would revitalize their marriage and they'd remember why they loved each other from the start.

However, their own child wasn't enough to give them a reason to put aside their differences and love each other for what they were - a family; a family, you knew, should be willing to sacrifice a part of their individual lives for each other, that's what it meant to be married.

But your parents weren't even willing to confront the problem -- not being in love with each other anymore -- much less work it out. At your age, you were aware of the fact that love wasn't all a marriage needed, there was responsibility and sacrifice and with a little understanding, the love could be rekindled, not just once but multiple times throughout the life spent together. The last thing you'd want was for them to separate and you were quite certain that with a little communication this hellish nightmare could be put past them. They were immature, you concluded. Your parents wanted to ignore it altogether, which would only leave them stumped at this obstacle, growing angrier with each bland dinner and mismatched grocery.

You couldn't take it anymore. Stopping your bike at a nearby convenience store to pick up a few snacks, you texted your boyfriend, Tendo. He was usually around, and usually free -- plus, he lived in a dorm all by himself. It was the perfect escape from your exhausting household. Without waiting for a reply, you journeyed across a few streets to get to the college residence and parked your bike anywhere. It wasn't worth enough to get stolen and even if some desperate thief decided to have some fun, it would only serve as an excuse for your parents to finally get you a car.

After the long and silent elevator ride which seemed to compress you on all sides, you arrive at the seventh floor and felt your shoulders relax almost immediately. You'd been here so many times it was like a second home to you. Tendo's place always gave you the relief you wanted after a tiresome day of school, or your parents, or both.

Struggling to keep the strap of your heavy bag filled with books, clothes, and food on your shoulder, you lightly knocked on the front door. There were sounds of incomprehensible yelling and laughter coming from inside which you thought was strange but not enough to question it.

When there was no answer and you were fed up with waiting, you decided to try the knob which was surprisingly unlocked. So, you entered the house and called out loudly, "Tendo? It's Y/N". Not even a step later, a strong scent of weed hit your nose directly and you winced.

"Y/N?" said a voice, followed by Tendo rolling back in a computer chair, tugging his headset to his neck with the hand that wasn't latched onto the controller, his eyes wide in pleasant surprise. 

"Hey," you said quietly, smiling at the sight of him. "I texted you . . ."

"Oh, sorry. I was in a game so I didn't check my phone," Tendo murmured, throwing a distracted glance at his phone on the couch before immediately returning his attention to the screen, his headset back on his ears. "I SAID COVER ME!" 

"He's been yelling all match," someone said and you startled, looking back at the couch to see one of Tendo's friends, Semi, sitting cross-legged on the couch, a hoodie covering most of his head and a bong tucked between his thighs. It was unusual for Tendo to have friends over. Even at school, he rarely sat with a large group of friends for long. On weekends, it was mostly just you and him when it could be.

"I swear I'm playing with 11 year olds," Tendo remarked as the screen flashed red, signaling his team's failure. He spun around in his chair and glanced between you and Semi. "Sit down, Y/N, what the fuck. Semi got kicked out of his parents house so he's gonna be here for a while."

You widened your eyes. "You got kicked out?"

The ashy-blonde haired boy nodded, seeming casual as he fiddled with the bong. "They caught me smoking in the basement and said they didn't want me back till I quit," he explained with a shrug. "I miss my drum set but I'd rather be free to smoke, if I'm being honest."

Tendo shook his head, amused. "Get a fucking job, Semi -- then you can pay for half of this place and we can live together."

"Really?" Semi's eyes lit up and he seemed attentive for the first time that night. "I totally should, huh? I can work at some government institute, you know? They'll see that I'm smart since I major in political science . . ." 

"Tendo, can I get in the shower?" you asked and Tendo nodded of course. As you were about to disappear down the hall before turning around and feeling blush creep onto your cheeks when Tendo gave you a questioning look. "Um . . . I also . . . Wanted to stay here for a bit. My parents are just really . . ."

"You can!" Tendo said with an enthusiasm that made your heart jump with pleasure. "It'll be fun with the three of us. I'm sorry about your parents though." 

The shower was warm and almost therapeutic with the muffled sounds of Tendo's frustration with his team and Semi teasing him about it. You even sat down on the porcelain for a bit, the soothing water sprinkling down on your bare body. When you had finally decided to come out, you found that Semi was eating the snacks you'd brought along with you. Although you were initially doubtful of him staying over with you and Tendo, you quickly grew more open about it. He was normally quiet and serious, but the weed seemed to open him up to being actually friendly and talkative, not failing to make you laugh several times that evening.

"Yo, if you make my girl laugh that much I'm gonna have to ask you to leave," Tendo said, throwing a cheeto at Semi's head. 

You eventually fell asleep on the couch, Tendo and Semi's voice almost serving as a lullaby. You'd rather hear their weed-inspired symposium in your sleepy stupors than the sound of your parents arguing. Some time that night, unknown to the dizzy you, Tendo had hauled you into his arms and transferred you to the warm security of his bed, wrapping his covers around you, and then wrapping his arms around you. 

The next morning, Semi was already gone for an 8am class. Despite sharing Tendo's major, he had registered very late and got the worst schedule a student could ask for. You and Tendo, however, were able to fool around in the bathroom (no, not like that. Tendo spit toothpaste on you), and eat lazy bowls of cereal before heading out, walking under the warm morning sun to get to campus.

When you'd arrived at your own class, Tendo let you know he'd wait for you at the college center after class. You checked your phone while the professor was setting up his stuff. Disappointment settled in your chest at the realization that your parents hadn't bothered to check up on you. You hadn't given them the heads-up that you would be staying over at "Sam's" house and although you declared that you weren't under their jurisdiction, you half-expected a "should we wait up for you?" text from either parent.

You tried to push your dejectedness and self-pity in order to pay attention to your lecture. The anger formed into a kind of resistance, telling you to stay as contactless from them as possible, waiting for one of them to care about your absence, or at least notice.

After class, you stopped by the vending machine to buy Tendo and yourself two bottles of juice before walking with your head down to the college center. You didn't want to see any of your friends or anyone for that matter. You wanted to be alone . . . With Tendo. He knew how to give you the reassurance and comfort you needed without uttering a single word. Sometimes you wondered if he was even aware of the effect he had on you. Did he know how his mere presence could reduce your anxiety? The man was like a remedy.

You spotted Tendo slumped on one of the couches, thumbs tapping away on his phone and you were almost certain he was engaged in a game of COD mobile. Then he seemed to notice you and he lifted his bright red-haired head up, shoving his phone in his pocket.

"Damn bay-bee!" Tendo whistled and you rolled your eyes as an instant reaction to his typical attention-drawing behaviour. "Hot girl alert," he announced, grinning at you.

"Shut up!" you yelled, chucking a juice bottle at him, which he caught with extraneous ease. You would've been surprised if you weren't already familiar with the fact that he, along with Semi, were on the volleyball team of a prestigious high school. He never failed to remind you and always talked about a mysterious "best friend" named Ushijima who he strongly believed would be famous one day.

Grateful that no one was staring at you two anymore, you collapsed next to Tendo, resting your head on his shoulder. He had produced his phone once again and you realized he had been texting Semi. You didn't want to intrude on his messages but you couldn't help catch parts of the conversation. He was going out drinking with Semi later because they had both received excellent grades on one of their tests. This also didn't come as a surprise because although you've never actually seen Tendo studying, he always did well on his tests.

Tendo turned to you. "You can go ahead back to my place," he suggested, twirling his dorm keys around his finger as he handed them to you. You gave him a small smile when he left you with a parting kiss on the lips as you separated for your next class.

You didn't see him again before leaving campus to return to Tendo's house. As you walked, you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach. Why hadn't Tendo ask you to join him? You shook your head, why were you even thinking of such a thing when you knew you hated drinking? But some uncomfortable tug in your chest left you questioning whether Tendo even wanted you at his place. Maybe he had accepted to be polite, or because he felt sorry for you . . . or because he didn't want to say no to you in front of Semi.

The biting thoughts bounced around your head, a reminder that Tendo loved you popping up every now and then to shoot those thoughts into a corner but not doing much to quell your worries.

You spent your evening studying, getting excited only at the occasional text from Tendo, making sure you got home fine, or that you knew you could eat anything in his fridge, or sleep in his bed if you were tired, or play on his PlayStation if you were bored. You did neither of those things, not touching a single thing in his kitchen even while your poor stomach cried with hungry grumbles.

You felt sick to your stomach, opting to switch on the television for background noise as you hugged your knees on the couch. There was an aching fear building up inside of you, fear that you were as unwanted to your boyfriend as you were to your own parents. You knew you shouldn't have been insecure, he'd always been there for you and never gave you a reason to doubt him.

But it had been quite a while since he'd last told that he loved you, sincerely, from the bottom of his heart. A lot could change within a person in that sort of time. And the last time the two of you had sex or even really made out was several months ago before you moved in with your parents. You could blame that on the chaos of school, both of you being in your second-years with exams and pressure to find jobs keeping your heads under water.

Nonetheless, the fear of Tendo falling out of love with you the same way your father fell out of love with your mother still existed and was still very real. You could always untangle this very confusing frustration with Tendo, he'd never shied away from important conversations. However, despite the many insecurities he'd helped you through, this just wasn't one you wanted him to hear.

And maybe you were like your parents in that way . . .

You dropped your head into your lap, feeling the burn of tears in your eyes, your chest tightening under the pressure of the worries you knew had no foundations but still pushed their way into your system. Eventually, your eyes had drooped and your brain was shifting in and out of focus with the screen before you.

Before you could really fall asleep though, you heard the sound of the door opening and Tendo's voice informing you of his presence. You hummed in response and Tendo furrowed his brows at you, jumping in next to you on the couch. You could tell he was still a little delirious from drinking but not enough to turn you away from him, as you usually did when he got completely wasted.

"Y/N, I went to the corner store on the way back and got you the cake you said you really liked," Tendo mumbled, putting his arms around you and pulling you closer. You wanted the cake, sure, but to be truthful, you wanted him more than anything.

"I just wanna fuck," you blurted out and Tendo's head instantly snapped up to look at you, a lazy grin pulling at the edges of his lips.

"Uh? You wanna what?"

You blushed, tugging your knees to your chest but Tendo's hands were already on them, pulling them apart. "I said I wanna fuck," you murmur.

"That's right, baby," said Tendo, settling himself between your thighs as he licked his lips. "I knew what you said, I wanted to hear you say it again."

"I got it, stupid," you told him, curling your fingers around the shoulders of Tendo's shirt and bringing his chest to yours before connecting your lips. The effect was immediate. You simultaneously relaxed and tensed up underneath the weight of his body, completely winded by the effortlessness with which his tongue moved past your lips and pressed to your own.

"You're right, I deserve this," Tendo breathed against your lips, a hand going to your thigh and guiding your leg around his waist. You hadn't said that but didn't care enough to point it out. "I can't call it a treat without wrecking this pretty body of yours." Your heart fluttered with his words and you watched him trail his lips down your chin, jaw, and neck toward the now exposed skin of your chest as he hooked a finger over the collar of your sweater and forced it down.

You shut your eyes, drowning in the anxious ecstasy of what was to come, the outcome of all this; him inside of you, filling you up, and fighting off all your worries with each sway of his hips against yours.

His teeth grazed against your skin and you pressed your lips together, knowing it was going to be followed by a bite and it did. Tendo bit and tugged at your sensitive skin, earning a pained gasp from your lips before smoothing over the sting with his tongue. It hurt but in that good way you never wanted it to stop, not until every inch of your body was covered in marks from him and only him.

Tendo had always liked to take his time. Even now, with you practically squirming and wordlessly begging for him. You could tell by the way he rubbed the seam of his jeans right against the very spot you craved him most, knocking the air out of your lungs and making your hips snap up against his, which caused you both to moan (Tendo's turned into choked laughter). He usually opted to wear sweatpants or, at best, trousers, but the roughness of his jeans really did amplify the feeling and although it made you throb almost everywhere, you were starting to get impatient.

"Jinx," Tendo groaned, dropping his head into the crook of your neck as your fingernails raked through his messy hair.

"Shut up, Tendo, just . . . Fuck . . . Get inside already," you said between shallow breaths. Tendo was already doing that, wedging a hand between both your bodies to unbutton his jeans. But between making jokes of your desperation and dry-humping you right on his couch, Tendo (and you) failed to realize that you had company.

The sound of the door swinging open almost completely shattered your preoccupation with each other. Tendo dragged himself off you and onto his knees while you propped yourself up, slightly embarrassed but more so disappointed when Semi walked into the living room, squinting at the two of you.

"Oh," he said, realizing what he had interrupted with a nod. High Semi was a lot different than this not-very-drunk or just-sober-enough Semi, who was stoic and didn't laugh the awkwardness off like you expected. "S-sorry about that," he stuttered and made to head towards his own room.

Tendo turned back to you with a smile that told you he didn't mind continuing what you two had already started. He didn't mind . . . But that probably didn't mean he wanted to. Neither did you with Semi in the next room. The heavy feeling from earlier took residence in your stomach once more, unwarranted and so quick you felt tears spring to your eyes.

Pushing Tendo off, you ran to his room in order to cry without his prying eyes, kind as they were. But you knew you wouldn't have the room for very long. The five minutes you really were alone, you were quite sure Tendo was trying to give you space or wonder what he'd done wrong. Then the door opened and he stepped in and you buried your head in your hands.

"Y/N, what the fuck is up with you?" He asked, but in a gentle tone before you felt his hand on your back, rubbing soothingly. "Why are you crying, hm? Look at me." Tendo tugged on your forearm and practically forced your head up. You stared at him through tear-blurry vision.

"Why didn't you invite me to come with you and Semi?" You stuttered dumbly and Tendo blinked in surprise.

"I-I didn't think you'd want to come," he answered with a shrug and a look of guilt marred the fond carelessness of his face. "Usually you say no . . . I'm sorry, I should've asked."

You shook your head quickly and realized you were doing exactly what you hated about your parents: avoiding the problem. But how could you not avoid the problem when the problem was questioning his love for you? Maybe you were the immature one, thinking talking about those things was so simple. It wasn't.

So you just said, "Sorry, I've been having a rough week . . . "

Tendo nodded, understanding. "Do you want Semi out of here?"

"W-What? No, no, no," you said quickly, wiping your wet eyes. "He needs somewhere to stay, I-I don't mind. It's mostly just . . . " you braced yourself to finally voice your fear out loud. Tendo's eyes on you, full of concern and attention. "I'm sick of my parents," you ended up saying and then cringed with your whole body.

"They fighting again?" Tendo asked, wrapping an arm around your waist and maneuvering the two of you against the bed frame to lean back. You leaned into his chest and relaxed in the comforting scent of him.

"They haven't checked up on me," you murmured, feeling slightly embarrassed for needing your parents attention this much. Tendo just stroked his fingers through your hair, intently listening. "I didn't tell them I'd be away from home and I usually never am. But they haven't even texted me to ask. I just feel like I'm not wanted there."

"They're probably just lost in their own issues to even think about dealing with you," Tendo said and he seemed to have the simplest answers to the complicated worries in your heart. "Stay here with me, just until they really get worried. Besides you're wanted here all the time."

You lifted your head and smiled. "Thanks Tendo, I-I love you," you mumbled shyly and Tendo grinned, shaking his head in amusement.

"I love you too," he replied without hesitating. The two of you soon fell asleep, Tendo changing out of his jeans first and yelling at you to get in your pajamas, before throwing a shirt at your head. You were too tired to get up now and Tendo knew that but it didn't stop him from trying. He gave up shortly and muttered something about you being a stubborn little bitch before sinking into the mattress next to you and shutting off the lights.

The next week flew by just like that. You were getting quite used to living with Tendo and he seemed to be happy with that. Most days were just busy with school and assignments, the slower days were spent in wondering if Semi would be home now or then to gauge how long the two of you had alone. But in that worry itself, you and Tendo would miss the opportunity Semi seemed to have intentionally been giving you each time. Dinners were nice since the three of you got along very well. Tendo would usually make the jokes, vulgar or downright shocking, causing you to almost choke up your food and Semi to roll his eyes yet smirk all the same.

Semi had found a job as a male receptionist at some package delivering company, which was a grounds for all three of you to celebrate. Tendo explained that they probably only wanted Semi because he was eye-candy  for anyone entering the building. You agreed that Semi was very pretty and Tendo pouted at you.

Friday night, the bong was reintroduced and you surrendered to the thought of really forgetting all your stress and just getting high. Which you did. And it was really relieving. So the next day, you decided it couldn't hurt to have another session. Semi had gone off to work and he wouldn't be back till very late, which gave you and Tendo time to smoke a little and fuck a lot.

But neither of you were really in the mood that evening and you could tell by the lack of foreplay Tendo usually invested in before putting it inside. He was out of focus and so were you, lying in his bed and occasionally moaning when he hit the right spot.

And when he'd pulled out so quick, you couldn't help lifting your head in confusion. "T-Tendo, what—" but the question was cut off with warm liquid spraying over your bare chest and splashing onto your mouth, droplets almost hitting your eyes before you shut them.

"Ah shit!" Tendo gasped, giggling breathlessly. "I'm s-sorry about that. I just wanted to cum on your tits."

"I'm gonna get pink-eye!" You complained, wiping your eyes and mouth with the back of your hand.

"Don't be dramatic," he said dismissively, hopping off the bed and disappearing into the closet. You blinked, heavy breaths living your lips and slightly disoriented. But Tendo had really just . . . Done that, without bothering to ask if you'd finished (he never really asked because it was quite obvious you had every time, but not tonight).

Before the worthlessness could settle in, a towel was thrown directly at your face and now you were just . . . Really angry. Your own boyfriend seemed to have used you and discarded you, you thought, furiously wiping yourself down with the towel and watching Tendo from the corner of your eye light up a joint and take a deep drag from it.

You slipped your shirt back over your bare chest and stared down at your lap as he breathed out, smoke filling the air and your nose. You just wanted to turn around and sleep.

"Y/N," said Tendo, prompting you to glance up at him. You shifted your gaze to him and saw that he was dangling a pair of handcuffs in one hand and a collar with a chain attached to it in another. Tendo grinned lazily, the joint hanging from his lips as he tossed both on the bed, you gazing at them in wonder.

"Do you wanna try these?" He asked, setting the joint aside and crawling onto the bed. "I ordered them a while ago, they're cheap as fuck but if we like them — if you like them — we can get something proper."

You licked your lips, excitement rising in your stomach. "I . . . Um . . . Yes! I'd like to try . . ."

"That's my girl," said Tendo eagerly, clicking the collar around your neck with a sly smile. "You look pretty fucking hot, if I'm being honest." He turned your head to the side so you could see yourself in the mirror. You couldn't help but agree with your boyfriend. The presence of the collar on your throat did wonderful things to your conscious.

Then there was a rough tug on the chain, squeezing the collar around your neck, and a whimper tumbled past your lips as Tendo forced you to face him. Tendo's eyes widened in wicked surprise as he stared at you and felt yourself blushing.

"This chain comes in handy then, I bet," he muttered with a smile.

Once your shirt was off and the handcuffs were locked around your wrists, both behind your back, Tendo pushed you to the ground in front of him and swung his feet off the bed. He reached one of his large hands towards you, fingers immediately tangling in your hair as you made quick work of him. The constant yanking on your hair and the choked grunts Tendo made was really adding to the rush of it all. Especially when he pushed your head down and forced himself deeper into your throat. 

"Take all of my cock," he hissed out the order, the chain of your collar wrapped around his free hand, tugging at it every now and then when he wanted you to look at him. You accepted every  praise that followed, tears forming at the edge of your vision with each thrust. "You look so pretty like this, baby. God, I love face-fucking you . . . You're so good . . . You're the best." 

After he'd shuddered and his cock twitched, sending a warm stream of cum down your throat, Tendo didn't stop there. He pulled the chain up, your head rising with it as the collar squeezed your neck. "Let me see," he whispered, gently gripping your jaw as you opened your mouth, feeling the liquid drip down your chin. "Good girl. Now swallow." The instruction was followed by the harsh slap of his palm against your ass, prompting you to obey.

"Ah!" you cried out, biting your lip. "Y-Yes, sir." 

Tendo smirked and yanked the chain again, bringing your lips down upon his and the saltiness from earlier was wiped away as he sucked on your lips, grasping your hips and sitting you down on top of him where you could feel his cock pressing right against your entrance. 

"Tell me what you want, baby," Tendo groaned as you moved your hips against him, your head buried in his neck along with your lips grazing his warm skin. Your wrists were sore and aching and all you wanted was to latch onto him but Tendo didn't seem to want to take them off just yet. 

"Fuck me," you whispered against his ear.

Tendo didn't waste time, moving back so he was lying down on the bed, shirt off and you, on top of him, wanted to touch the tanned skin of his bare chest so bad. He watched your every moment with a dizzying intrigue, allowing you to fuck yourself on his cock while his fingers pressed bruises into your hips. 

"Just like that, Y/N," he grunted through a clenched jaw, pushing you all the way down as he lifted his own hips and thrust up into you. 

"Tendo!" You gasped, your head falling back, eyes shut tightly as the pain and pleasure shot up your body, releasing breathless moans from the base of your throat. "Fuck . . ."

Tendo grinned. "You ride me so well, Y/N . . . Ugh, fuck!" He pulled the chain towards him, swallowing your moan with the careful, wet kisses of his mouth. "You look so hot on top of me." You could feel the tight knots in your stomach slowly unraveling, the new angle doing mind-shattering things to your insides. 

"I-I . . . Tendo . . ." You stuttered, blinking rapidly as the feeling overcame you. 

Tendo's hands went to your thighs immediately, throwing you off of him and the sudden feeling of emptiness shocked you. "What the fuck?!" You cried, shaking the hair off your face as your wrists were still faithfully behind you. 

"Let me fuck that pussy," Tendo muttered, shifting you onto your hands and knees before sinking into you from behind as your head pressed into the pillow beneath you. "You're so tight . . . I love this pussy . . ." Tendo bent over you, till his chest was pressed to your back, his hand still clamped around the chain of your collar, making sure you were being choked how he liked you. 

"Moan for me, Y/N . . ." he whispered, lips and teeth clashing against the skin under your ear, your neck, your shoulder. You should've been embarrassed with the sounds leaving your parted mouth but you really couldn't focus on much besides the feeling of his cock buried deep inside you. 

The mindless euphoria and muffled pain of it all drove every thought out of your head, the uncertainty and unease. You wanted to be as close to Tendo as possible and he wanted to be deep inside you. As your vision blurred and you were so close to completely losing it, Tendo pulled out of you again. Your jaw fell open but he'd flipped you around and frantically uncuffed your now throbbing wrists, tossing the handcuffs to the side, before sliding back into you. 

"Fuucckkk . . ." He moaned, eyes fluttering but he tried to keep them open to watch your flushed face, your back arching until your breasts were pressed right up against his chest. The sound of profanities leaving his swelling lips was smothered as he sucked on your neck, your arms finally able to loop around his neck, yanking at his hair as he slipped his fingers between your legs. "C-Cum on my cock . . ." Tendo stuttered.

But you'd begged him to come inside and Tendo had to pull his head back to look at you with surprise. After the painful edging and denial, those words were enough to snap every knot in your stomach completely. Tendo had grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him. "I wanna see you when you cum," he managed to choke out as you tried your best to keep your eyes open, focused on his gaze and the way it sent goosebumps all over your sweat-glistening body. Tendo had sped up and groaned a string of curse words as he released inside of you, and you had given to defeat, throwing your head back, mouth open in a silent cry before Tendo's hips slowed down and the room was filled with shuddering breaths and occasional whimpers. 

"Holy fuck," Tendo whispered, unclipping the collar from around your neck and examining the red and almost bleeding skin before tossing the item to the side. "I'm so sorry . . . Did it hurt?" 

"K-Kinda," you squeaked as he kissed your neck softly. Truthfully, you hadn't noticed it then but the pain was coming back to you in short bursts as you trembled underneath Tendo. 

"I should've known considering it was like five bucks," he responded, dropping down next to you. You wrapped your arms around him and rested your head on his chest. Tendo seemed surprised by this as you two normally cleaned yourselves up first before cuddling. 

"My parents are falling out of love," you blurted out. 

Tendo scoffed, pushing your hair out of your face. "I just fucked you like you were a bitch in heat and the first thing you say is 'my parents are falling out of love' . . . What the fuck am I doing?" he murmured, leaning down and kissing the top of your head. "I'm sorry to hear that, Y/N."

You licked your lips, trailing your fingers over Tendo's bare chest. "I-I'm scared that . . . That you don't love me anymore either."

"Oh . . . This fucking girl, you can't leave her alone with her thoughts for a second," Tendo teased. "I can tell you this, Y/N; sometimes it doesn't work between people and forcing it will just make it worse." 

You nodded, shifting into a seated position so you could look at him properly. Tendo smiled at you, the mere action causing your heart to jump into you throat. "You're right . . . I'll have to hope for the best between my parents."

"That being said," Tendo continued, tucking your hair behind your ear gently. "I fucking love you and I don't plan on stopping so you can get that silly thought out of your head." There was a distant sound of the front door opening and when you'd glanced at the clock, you knew Semi was home. He'd announced his arrival and said,

"Keep fucking if you guys are fucking! I don't wanna ruin your relationship!"

Tendo rolled his eyes and hugged you closer, putting his chin on your shoulder. "You were amazing and I'm sorry about before . . ." You giggled. It seemed sort of trivial now. "You're beautiful by the way," Tendo said and you blushed. "Your face and body but also on the inside . . . and I'm not talking about these sweet insides I just ruined . . ."

"I know," You laughed as Tendo tickled your thigh with his fingertips. 

"Y/N," said Tendo suddenly and you glanced at him. "D-Do you want to try something new?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Hey, I guess the handcuffs weren't enough, huh? Yeah, let's do something new!" But you weren't expecting Tendo to call for Semi. To your own surprise though, you didn't stop him and even smiled widely when the boy pushed the door open and froze, blush creeping onto his cheeks. 

Tendo hadn't said anything further but your heart was pounding furiously again, especially when Semi's eyes shifted from Tendo to meet your own. He opened his mouth to say something but then thought better of it.

A second later, he was tugging at his own hoodie, the only two words that left his lips "fuck it" completely forgotten once the door shut and Tendo dimmed the lights. 

[popurikat]

Newtmas essay when?

Finally getting to this, thanks for waiting, I needed to go over a few bookmarks. (Warning, this post contains spoilers from the MAZE RUNNER book and FEVER CODE book, so if you haven’t read either or yet and want the jist of my analysis; just know that in general the fandom interpreting Newt as gay before it was revealed on a twitter post was not just a random headcanon and that Thomas in general is portrayed to have very strong unconditional love for Newt throughout the series; and it shows. To the point that even the director for the movie has stated that Newt and Thomas have a strong bond and portrays that in the movies. I will also preface that I am NOT adding personal opinion anywhere here, these are just backings from quotes and how they are thus meant to be taken/read as. My words are taken as a reader who is currently reading Scorch Trials has yet to fully read Death Cure or Crank Palace.) Anways, without further ado at 3AM today, I’ll try my best to explain how even though Dashner tries his best to make Thomas have other, female love interests; he creates a not so subtle gay subtext for Tommy boy here when in the context of interacting with Newt throughout the lore. Apologies beforehand for any grammar mistakes along the way.

To commence, I am going to start with FEVER CODE, as its supposed to act as the story’s preface to the actual events that play out later. Newt and Thomas upon meeting each other describe their presence as “familiar” and or as a “long lost friend” and they genuinely hit it off from the start to the point that Newt is okay with having Thomas see him cry over the fact that he and his sister are separated since he is doomed to be WCKD’s control analysis as he’s the only one lacking immunity from the flare itself. Once Newt is done being emotionally vulnerable we get our first instance of his personal nickname for Thomas: “That’s the way things are Tommy,’ he said his voice not quite steady. ‘The world outside’s gone to hell. Why should we expect any different here? [...] He said it as if they’d been friends for years” (ch. 14).   An interesting note here is that Thomas doesn’t bother to correct him or stifle the moment by feeling that all this information was too much, he genuinely wanted to hear Newt out and is fine with seeing this side of him; if not slightly taken aback by how natural it is that they can converse about such aspects of their lives. In fact, Newt makes such an impact on Thomas that Thomas ends up that same night dreaming of him: “Throughout his shortened night, he dreamed of Newt and Sonya. Of Newt and Lizzy“(Ch. 14). The thing with Thomas though is that the idea of comfort and connection is very foreign to him as he’s been basically isolated all his life with only the adults like Ava to talk to and the one exception being Teresa as his only kid companion. So Thomas didn’t even think he could make others like him for being himself unless they were vital to the overall production of WCKD. Seeing this portion right before the end of chapter 14: “Alby, Minho, Newt, Teresa. Thomas had friends.” shows that Thomas really had to deep dive to see how he deals with personal connections and why he was excited about the notion of friendship. He could’ve been happy with just Teresa, but only fully cemented her bond to him as “friend” when his circle grew and these kids he got to hang with taught him he can be himself, a concept he didn’t realize was possible when all his life was dictated on what he was supposed to learn or do. It becomes especially clear just how controlled his life is with the aspect of sentiment when later on Teresa’s mental communication evokes physcial pain and fear in Thomas. I’ll get back to that later as its more of a small tid bit of Thomas’ view on his forced love interest, Teresa. And yes, I say forced because multiple sentences with Thomas have him even wish he could cease all communication with her. Moving on, let’s talk about mimicking for a second. As humans, we mimic as a behavioral response to become closer to the person we care about. It’s the reason why yawning or laughter is contagious and or why we copy the posture of the person we converse with face to face. Thomas is seen to do this the most with Newt’s quirks. I’ll give the example in chapter 15: “Newt has been promising them that he was saving something special, and he did that annoying zipped-lipped sign every time [...] the little light in his eyes showed he enjoyed every second of their torture” versus Thomas: “Thomas did Newt’s zipped-lipped gesture, and that got him a sharp poke in the ribs”. So, we know enough that Thomas’ mannerisms are developing as a sign that he wants to be closer to Newt and to continue this sense of playfulness they both enjoy from the other. This is the start of their budding bond and a clear indication that they hold each other at greater fondness than the rest through this unconscious copying. Through this copying, they also pick up on emotional cues the other lets up on. Newt is especially good at noticing small things like when Thomas is anxious or overthinking: “He was just shocked that with all their exploring, the others hadn’t already discovered it on their own. And there were supposed to be TWO mazes. How had Newt and his friends not stumbled upon either one of them? ‘Tommy?’ Thomas realized Newt was staring straight at him, eyebrows raised. ‘Sorry,’ he said embarrassed, ‘wandered off for a second there what did you say?’ Newt shook his head in admonishment. ‘Try to keep up, Tommy Are you ready to see the grat outdoors?” (ch. 15). Also in chapter 23: “Tommy?’ It was Newt, breaking him out of his thoughts. ‘I can see your wheels spinnin’ up there.’ He tapped the side of his head”. This furthers Newts perceptiveness on his friend and Thomas’ ability to pick out when he is being looked after. And they bounce off each other really well in that aspect. To the point that Newt can crack a joke he knows will land right on Thomas’ sense of humor: “Newt waggled his fingers in front of Thomas’ face [...] A laugh exploded out of Thomas’ mouth that sent a spray everywhere. ‘Sorry’ he said, wiping his lips on his sleeve” (ch.15). It’s enjoyable to know that at least at a surface level, they have fun together and can cheer the other up if needed or know when to ground the other to reality. It is also through these instances that as a reader I pick up that Thomas’ nervous ticks perhaps allude to an anxiety disorder he has; of which Newt is aware of and never puts Thomas down on for exhibiting. He in fact understands it and deals with it accordingly as he himself has a similar circumstance. SO, what does all this paying attention lead to? Thomas’ devotion to protect Newt. Yeah, thats right I said devotion. Thomas’ actions are influenced by his developed instinct to protect Newt at all costs. Here is the biggest example that comes to mind: “What in the world happened to Newt? -- Less then two hours later, Thomas had spliced together a series of camera clips [...] Thomas turned off the feed. He couldn’t take it anymore...Newt, Newt, Newt, Thomas thought, feeling as if the very air around him were turning black.”(ch.52). Essentially, Thomas seeing Newt plummet to his near death by falling from the maze wall as a result of Newt’s ongoing depressive state, this is the moment that makes Thomas realize WICKD isn’t as good as they seem and that he is going into the maze to save Newt. Its admirable how much self sacrifice Thomas does for someone he cares so much about, to the point that their name is like a mantra. Thats a sensible area of passion and fighting spirit for someone who is “just a friend”.    Oh and, the feeling of fondness is mutual mind you if I haven’t been clear. After experiencing the horrors of cranks for the first time, realizing Newt was not immune, and watching Newt until they entered the pits it has been months since they last interacted; this is their first reunion: “What’s up Tommy?’ Newt exclaimed, his face filled with genuine happiness at the pleasant surprise that’s been sprung on him. Thomas couldn’t remember exactly how long it’d been since he’d seen Newt. ‘You look bloody fantastic for three in the morning” (ch. 23). I need to preface this that Newt DOES NOT mean that sarcastically and that out of all the people in the room (Minho, Chuck and Teresa are there in this scene), Thomas only reacts this way specifically toward seeing Newt is okay and back.   The characters are also not afraid of being physically close. “Well, look who the bloody copper dragged in,’ Newt said, pulling Thomas into a big hug” (ch.31), “They shook hands, and then the two of them set off...” (ch. 31), and my favorite: “Thomas jumped at the sound, then stumbled. Newt tripped over him, and then they were both laughing, legs and arms tangled in a pile on the ground”(ch.32). I don’t think this far in the novel, Thomas has been AS (emphasis on as) comfortable with touch  with anyone else other than Newt. And thats a big step forward on the aspect of trust in a relationship, being able to be comfortable with the presence of another person enough to be as intimate with them as shown here.  And all this, is just fever code itself. Mind you this is not the MEAT of the novels as it came out later. But even without it, lets look at Thomas in Maze now, I’ll try to keep this segment a lot more brief. Here’s Thomas looking respectively at boys his age: “A tall kid with blond hair and a square jaw...a thick, heavy muscled Asian kid folded his arms as he studied Thomas, his tight shirtsleeves rolled up to show off his biceps [...] Newt was taller than Alby too, but looked to be a year or so younger, His hair was blond and cut long, cascading over his T-shirt. Veins stuck out of his muscled arms”(ch. 2). Thomas’ initial reaction to being surrounded by boys is to deeply analyze their rugged good looks and heavily emphasize their best physical traits. When reading this the first time, my mind immediately thought this boy at the very least is supposed to be portrayed as bi, especially when later down the line Teresa gets a similar descriptor: “...despite her paleness, she was really pretty...silky hair, flawless skin, perfect lips, long legs.” So right off the bat, we know that be it boy or girl, Thomas emphasizes how attractive someone looks in his eyes when he truly does have a sense of attraction to them. Case closed. Within the same chapter we get Thomas also immediately clinging onto Newt for a sense of grounding, it is now ingrained in him at this point that the boy is his lifeline, a person to rely on. “Thomas looked over at Newt, hoping for help.” And help he does, Newt in this chapter helps ease his worries, explain a general idea of what the glade is and even pats him on the shoulder a bit to ease tension. And Thomas doesn’t bat an eye in the same way he’s weary of literally everyone else. In fact, he’s eager to stay put with him as shown with; “If Newt went up there, then I wanna talk to him.” And if none of that seals the deal, we got early bird Newt being so touch starved he flattens himself next to Thomas to wake him up at the crack of Dawn in chapter 6: “Someone shook Thomas awake. His eyes snapped open to see a too-close face staring down at him, everything around them still shadowed by the darkness of early morning...’Shh, Greenie. Don’t wanna be waking up Chuckie, now, do we?’ It was Newt --the guy who seemed second in command; the air reeked of his morning breath. Though Thomas was surprised, any alarm melted away immediately”. This whole scene follows firstly by Thomas once again impressed by how strong Newt is and then Newt giving him a rundown of what everyone else was too afraid to show Thomas, the grievers. And you know, this scene could’ve ended well and everything as totally platonic, but then we have “Newt turned to look at him dead in the eye. The first traces of dawn had crept up on them, and Thomas could see EVERY DETAIL OF NEWT’S FACE, HIS SKIN TIGHT, HIS BROW CREASED.” Now, look me in the eye and tell me there is a hetero explanation on looking at your best bro like they are the sun reincarnated themselves. But let’s not hog all the homosexual undertones with Thomas here. Wanna know what Newt’s initial reaction to having a girl in the glade was? “It’s a girl,’ he said [...] Newt shushed them again. ‘That’s not bloody half of it,’ he said, then pointed down into the box. ‘I think she’s dead” (ch.8). It’s actually a stark contrast to the other gladers eagerly wanting to know her age, how pretty she looked, and calling dibs to date her; Newt isn’t interested in any of that, he’s more perplexed on her status and not even bothering to remark on her looks, he was the only one not to and even remarks a few other instances that girls are more Thomas’ domain. For instance, he makes a joke in fever code when Thomas remarks that the girls in the institution were going to tackle him down, Newt proceeds to point out sarcastically something along the lines of “wait, isn’t that YOUR dream though?” So Newt is pretty out spoken of his disinterest in girls, and his full admiration and attention on Thomas. Oh, and yes, Newt immediately switches over to “Tommy” the moment Thomas mentions he hates being called greenie, and once again it just becomes a thing between only the two of them. Newt is also the one to be straight forward about the whole Runners business. He warns Thomas about the dangers and doesn’t necessarily turn him down on his desire to be one, he in fact encouraged him to just wait until the right moment. “No one said you couldn’t, but give it a rest for now”(ch. 15). So once again, Newt is the voice of confidence and reason for Thomas to prosper. In turn, this time around Thomas is the one to catch when something is bothering Newt. For instance, “Newt chewed his fingernails, something he hadn’t seen the older boy do before...he was genuinely concerned -- Newt was one of the few people in the Glade he actually liked ”(ch.16). Interesting how we went from fever code “friend” to “like”. And also, when Newt explains his concern about the runners not coming back yet, Thomas pieces together how scared Newt is of the Maze without being told and goes to stand next to him as a physical presence to ground Newt as they wait near the entrance. In fact, this piece is trivial to understand why Thomas does what he does next. When everyone else had given up on the Runners still outside with 2 minutes left til closing, and Newt was escorted away from the entrance, Thomas waited. And when Thomas saw them, he yells to Newt, realizes he’s too far to do anything, and makes a decision himself. He KNEW how much Newt cared about his fellow Gladers, they were like family or “kin” as its said in the book, so what does he do? “Don’t do it Tommy! Don’t you bloody do it!’ ... Thomas knew he had no choice. He moved. Forward. He squeezed past the connecting rods at the last second and stepped into the maze”(ch.16). Yes, Thomas does this because of his empathy for the Gladers, but the chain reaction of Newt’s concern is what sets his decision in stone. And yet again, Thomas enters the maze for Newt.  And that’s pretty much the constant for the rest of Maze Runner the book, Newt just sticking up for Thomas and Thomas in turn just being happy that: “He was at least relieved that Newt was there” (ch.17). And thats basically their entire dynamic. Newt just going: “If you really did help design the maze Tommy, it’s not your fault. You‘re a kid -- you can’t help what they forced you to do” to ease the survivor’s trauma Thomas has, as well as saying “I actually believe you. You just don’t have an ounce of lying in those eyes of yours. And I can’t bloody believe I’m about to say this...but I’m going back in there to convince those shanks we should go through the griever hole, just like you said”(ch.51); and I think thats the most romantic thing to hear from him. Just right out being all for supporting Thomas no matter what happens as long as he stays alive and continues to fight, he doesn’t care about what happened before. And Thomas eats that up because it fuels him even more to seek out a means to escape for the people (Newt) that deserve a life outside of running from monsters forever. So essentially, I’ll state again, it’s always been Newt the catalyst for Thomas to run head first into the Maze and seek freedom. And with all this I can clear that these two are shown to if not be romantically involved, at least have unconditional love for the other that transcends the author’s original intention.  And with that in mind, here’s the thing with Teresa as a love interest. I can list here quotes of every time she mind speaks to Thomas and how that affects him, but then this would be too long. And this is a newtmas post gosh darn it. Teresa is gleeful to humiliate, control, hurt, and force Thomas to believe they’re in love. In multiple instances we get her barging into his mind unwarranted making him understand that she has full access to his inner most thoughts. Theres nothing romantic about that, and I think its why Thomas ends up being so perceptive to the smallest of gestures that allow him to think on his own and feel like his own person. Something I’ve seen Brenda do later in scorch, and something I’ve seen Newt do since the very beginning is that they allow Thomas to come to his own conclusions in order to create his own opinions on the matters at hand. Thomas’ love language revolves around words of affirmation. He likes it when people confirm his thoughts are valid and that remind him that WICKD can’t hurt him anymore now that he has the power to be his own person. This is where Newt comes in very handy. He allows Thomas to grow in ways his female love interests have yet to show, sorry Brenda but I’ve heard you were trying to unite all immunes together to the safe haven by the end and in a sense still only using Thomas to get by; I still think she was the better call than teresa of course and I have no remorse for Teresa getting smushed by a boulder. But essentially my point here is that, how do you fail to make your initial love interests clash so badly where one has no real care about the others well being so long as everything goes according to WCKD by using a form of gaslighting and manipulation? AND THOMAS HAS STATED HIS DISCOMFORT ON THIS MULTIPLE TIMES, but the narrative always erases these instances from his mind in place of pity for Teresa’s well being (as you can tell, Teresa through this becomes my least favorite character, I can rant about her some othe time though with proper backing). The narrative in turn treats it all like a joke. I understand there are scenes where Thomas is worried about her and looks out to make sure shes ok, but even then he doesn’t know how to react with mental images of her kissing his cheek or when she screams the next minute that she doesn’t know who he is or how hes speaking into her mind. And thats because they can’t properly communicate their emotions to the other, not even in fever code could Thomas give a forward answer if he loved Teresa or not, she just assumed. Come to think of it, Thomas really doesn’t show much affection to Teresa of his own accord. So then, how DOES Thomas show his affection? Thomas provides acts of service as his love language, if he cares about you enough he will risk his life for you. Why? Because Thomas values putting the people he loves foremost knowing full well they are what help him have purpose and succeed in continuing on. In a way, Newt and Thomas’ dynamic works in this instance because they balance the other out and because they have seen each other at their worst and at their best. In a way, that's why knowing the ending of the books makes it harder to accept that Thomas would just easily take the shot...when all his life clung to Newt’s survival. But that’s a story for another time where I compare the movies (of which let me make that clear, yes I prefer) over the books. For now just know that the book may have done this by accident, maybe not, but at the end of the day theres solid proof that Thomas and Newt care about each other in a way that is separately portrayed from their connection to the other glade members, and have this consistency of soft moments running through the entirety of the series. In conclusion; newtmas. Newtmas. NEWTMAS, etc.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 17 second part

(Masterpost) (Previous Post) (Pinboard)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!!

Breaking Good

Wen Qing comes to visit Wen Ning in their backyard meth lab, and tells him that he fucked up a recipe, merely by taking a whiff of the concoction. She uses the approved "wave fumes toward self" way of smelling that you learn in high school science if you live in a country that believes in teaching science, which OP does not.

Wen Ning wants to know if they are going to have a feud, and she tells him there already is one. She tells explains to him that they're good Wens, not evil Wens, and that Jiang Cheng is fucked, and they should send the Jiangs away in the morning before Wen Chao comes around. 

Wen Ning whines at her about all of this, shifting into little-brother persona and acting like he didn't just take down 40 of Wen Chao's soldiers in a single night. He does this same persona shifting in his later unlife, with Wei Wuxian. When there is trouble, he's extremely effective, and can even tail WWX and Lan Wangji without getting caught, but then he is hopeless when dealing with turnips or children. 

Here, it seems like a version of Wei Wuxian's own little-brother persona, in which he pretends to be helpless so that his sister can take care of him.

#studyblr

Wei Wuxian comes into Wen Qing's head shop to ask her for medical books. He loves his brother so much he's volunteering for a research project. We've seen him be clever before; we've seen circumstantial evidence that he's a good student, but now we're going to see him actually buckling down and doing intellectual work.

Wen Qing thinks its hopeless and wants Wei Wuxian to get some rest. But he gives her puppydog eyes, so she sets him up in her library.

Wei Wuxian reads a huge pile of medical books and learns interesting things about the human body.   

(more after the cut)

Hopefully he does not splotch ink all over them while he holds this wet brush directly over the page. Why does he even have a brush in his hand? Is he taking notes in the margin? 

Wen Qing eventually tells him to take a break and go see Jiang Yanli.

Segmentation fault (core dumped)

Jiang Yanli is tending to Jiang Cheng, gently telling him to suck it up by citing their father, which is probably not the greatest idea. 

Yanli's wearing dark blue with white and looks awesome.  It's not Gusu Lan blue, but the blue and white is an interesting choice for the excruciating heart to heart they're about to have.  

Wei Wuxian shows up looking terrible, or the Xiao Zhan version of terrible, i.e. handsome and a little scruffy. But also worn out, unhappy, and fragile.

Jiang Yanli wants him to rest, but he wants to find a way to repair Jiang Cheng's core, and his mind races, trying to think of where he can get books and who can help him. His thoughts instantly go to Cloud Recesses and Lan Wangji. His face lights up at the thought that Lan Wangji will help him, and he hops up, ready to dash off and find him.

The first time I watched this I was like, dude yes you’re in love, but you can’t just dash off to find Lan Wangji, not when there’s a war on.  This time I was like, actually wow things would turn out a whole lot better if you got Lan Wangji to help you, instead of coming up with your own plan.

Mother Mother Can You Tell Me

Jiang Yanli tells him to slow his roll.  He's pushing himself too hard and she's afraid he will collapse. Then Wei Wuxian comes out and says what's driving him: maybe all these disasters are his fault.

It's telling, I think, that he cites Madame Yu, not Jiang Cheng, in this moment, even though Jiang Cheng has blamed him much more thoroughly and consistently. He's talking about one mother figure, to another mother figure, and looking for absolution.

He super does not get what he's looking for.

Jiang Yanli slowly lets go of him and goes the fuck off. She asks, rhetorically, what he's to blame for, and then lists off all of the shit that's happened.  She finishes up by saying, look at our situation; blaming won't help anything. 

It's unclear, because language/translation, if her answer is "it doesn't matter who's to blame" I.E. "yes, it's your fault, but I'm letting it go" or if she is saying "how does blaming yourself help anything?" I.E. "it's not your fault, stop being a drama llama."

Her body language, though, seems pretty blameful - she lets go of him, yells at him, sits down and turns away from him.  And his reaction is not one of shared grief, or of someone who is trying to get over himself; he's totally crushed, and he literally never unburdens himself to her again.  Even when he asks her, much later, about love, he immediately backs out of the conversation. 

There is no violence in this moment and her reaction is understandable, but this is kind of similar to that one time when his brother choked him in a beautiful field of grass, in order to make himself feel better. 

Then she kind of relents and takes his hand, telling him that she needs him and reminding him that he promised that they will go back to Lotus Pier. I don't remember him promising this, but okay. 

He puts his head on her lap and he cries, she cries, comatose Jiang Cheng cries; FUCK this episode.  

Jiang Cheng manages to cry only one tear and does it on the side of his face that his siblings can't see because he's not going to give them the satisfaction of sharing this moment with him, I guess.

When Wei Wuxian puts his head on Jiang Yanli's lap, it's part of a ritual for them, that they both are comforted by; he does it again much later, after they return to Lotus Pier. But this ritual does not actually do anything to relieve his burdens. As a male adult, and the only Jiang Clan disciple with any abilities, it falls to him to save the clan, whatever it takes, and he is heavily aware of it.

Wen Qing comes along and sees the sweet part of this complicated Shijie-Shidi dynamic, and decides to help with Wei Wuxian's research project. When the trio had just lost their parents, gotten sick, been pursued by enemies, & had one of Yanli's little brothers horribly wounded, Wen Qing was like, eh, I'll do the doctor stuff but that's it. But lap-crying is another level. 

Wen Qing: Nooo don't put your head on her knees I failed my saving throw

Group Project

Wen Qing goes and cleans up the mess in the library, putting everything in order and settling in to read systematically. Wen Qing probably has the prettiest bullet journal. (OP looks proudly at the 100 loose slips of paper and piles of random stuff on her own desk)

Wei Wuxian has shaved and rested and comes in with a tray of food for Wen Qing, and then goes to his table in the back to start working. He claims he made "porridge" for her and that she has to eat to gain strength, and she gives him an intrigued expression.  This moment is just blatant het baiting.  

In fact the food he brings her is clearly not porridge, which might just be a translation error, but also he totally can't cook, so it's not clear if he's joking and Yanli or Wen Ning made the food, or if this is just inedible.

The Things We Do For Love

Yanli is working in the meth lab and coughing a lot. Yanli's chronic illness is a sign of what's to come for Wei Wuxian, because strong cultivators don't get sick. Yet Yanli, as a physically vulnerable person, who has either a weak golden core, or none, is still intrinsically valuable.  Her presence in this scene is a reminder that Jiang Cheng's life is not, actually, over; he just feels like it is.

While Yanli cooks the meth, Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing have a study montage that is the equivalent of a training montage, except without "Eye of the Tiger" on the soundtrack.

Jiang Cheng remains unconscious. Apparently if you stick nails in the top of someone's head, you make them sleep, and in the back of their head, you turn them into part of your zombie army. Fortunately Wen Qing's aim is good. Jiang Cheng is looking devastatingly handsome as usual the TV version of unwell, and has grown a perfect Dorito-chip of stubble on his chin to go with his new 'stache.

Eventually Wei Wuxian changes back into his non-vampire robe and he finds the answer in an old scroll book. The Ikea instruction picture shows arrows going from the guy on the left to the guy on the right.  Clearly it's not a great procedure for the guy on the left.

Wei Wuxian's face shows us exactly how not great. 

Like walking in the rain and the snow and there’s no place to go and you’re feeling like a part of you is dying

He goes outside and gazes up at the trees and the sky as he contemplates the sacrifice that circumstance is forcing on him. He's not even making a choice at this point; his choice was made the moment he found the procedure. But it's going to be a tremendous loss for him. He values sword cultivation at least as much as Jiang Cheng does; he even fell in love with a boy over crossed swords. So he sits and just kind of comes to terms with this new understanding of his future. (Big gifs here)

Wen Qing finds him sitting, stunned, on the porch. She doesn't know what's up so she just sits quietly with him until he's ready to tell her.

She doesn't love the plan.  

Thunder, Th-th-thunder

Wen Ning is bringing food up when he sees them arguing, and he is startled by situationally appropriate thunder and lightning. Having recently watched The Lost Tomb Reboot I've come to expect thunder and lighting to appear on cue in any possible situation, so the fact that this mini-storm clears right up again doesn't bother me.

What About You?

Wen Ning dashes inside to see what Mom and Dad are fighting about. They're having a polite shouting match because Wen Qing refuses to yank out Wei Wuxian's core. 

Wen Qing: I hate the idea of harming you Wei Wuxian: I don’t even understand that sentence

Wei Wuxian doesn’t, of course, feel that he is important in any way, and ignores her concerned and appalled expressions in favor of telling her to just do it anyway. Amazingly, this does not convince her. 

OP’s 177cm-tall son keeps telling her this

Then Wei Wuxian plays the "you know Jiang Cheng" card, which...I guess she does? Maybe he was chatting her up more than we saw in Cloud Recesses? He hasn't given her the comb or anything yet. Wei Wuxian explains that Jiang Cheng cares about gain and loss, and cultivation is his life. If he can only be ordinary the rest of his life will be ruined.

Wen Qing asks the question that nobody ever asks him: What about you? 

Wei Wuxian has literally nothing to say to that, possibly because the question is so new to him. 

Wen Ning doesn't know what's going on but comes squarely in on team Wei, of course, and begs his sister to Do The Thing.  How fucking horrified is Wen Ning going to be when he learns what The Thing is? What he is personally going to help do to his beloved friend? Yikes.   

Wen Qing caves, warning them that the chance of success is only 50 percent. Wei Wuxian is happy to take those odds.

Lan Wangji, projecting his voice from Episode 46: fifty percent, are you fucking kidding me?

Soundtrack: 1. Mother Mother by Tracy Bonham 2. The Things We Do For Love by 10cc 3. Thunder by Imagine Dragons

[quazartranslates]

Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH1

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

[Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

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Chapter 1: Resurrection Overture (I)

{E/N: The first section is recap, the rest is new. If you wish to skip the recap, scroll down to the &&& scene break.}

{cw: mention of miscarriage, religious homophobia}

Welcome to Nightmare Game I. A review of the story:

1. [First People's Hospital of X City]: Qi Leren, the protagonist, downloaded a computer game called the Nightmare Game on the Internet. After the first BE ending, his computer broke down. He took his laptop to repair it, but the bus he was riding was involved in a traffic accident. He and the injured passengers were taken to the First People's Hospital of X City by ambulance and he met Dr. Lu in the ambulance.　　

After waking up again, Qi Leren found himself in the empty People's Hospital and he had received his own task system, which asked him to survive in this hospital until dawn, and got an S/L skill card: [S/L Data] (binding skill card): the holder can set a save point at the position where his body is located. If he dies or suffers fatal injury within 10 seconds after saving, his body will automatically return to the position and state where the save point was set and will immediately trigger the second use. One save point can be used three times continuously and the cooldown time is 1 hour. Anyway, if you want to use it, you will die.　　

In order to survive, Qi Leren had to commit suicide frequently in this haunted hospital to save his life. He met Dr. Lu and Xue Yingying, who were also involved in this game, and learned that there was a murderer in this hospital who was killing any survivors like them. With such an unexpected factor, the task of surviving until dawn became more difficult. The three people also met another mysterious player, Su He. With his help, the four people and the murderer fought bravely and killed him and cracked the secrets of the hospital from more than 20 years ago, successfully avoiding the earthquake before daybreak and surviving until dawn.

2. [First Arrival at the Village of Dusk]: After the mission, the four people came to the players’ homebase in the main world of the Nightmare Game - the Village of Dusk. There were many ordinary people here who had the same experiences as Qi Leren. They received "survival days" by constantly going to other worlds or performing tasks in the main world, and they would die once the survival days were exhausted. In the Nightmare World, apart from a few human settlements where the status quo of peace has been maintained, other places were ruled by demons. Qi Leren was very surprised, because he found that the Nightmare World had the same story background as the Nightmare Game he had played before entering here, but no one else had played this game, so he had to keep the secret and think about whether the tasks done in the Nightmare Game could be triggered in this world. Su He, who had been very mysterious in the first mission, also confessed his identity. It turned out that he was a Game Master from the Village of Dawn who went to investigate a bug in the Novice Village. Not long after settling in the Village of Dusk, Qi Leren triggered the compulsory task "Witchcraft Sacrifice" from the dead because of a murder case on the road.

3. [Witchcraft Sacrifice]: Qi Leren had to perform the "Witchcraft Sacrifice" task, but during the task, male players were given women's appearances, because the background of the task was that a small village that sacrificed thirteen girls to a demon every three years in order to seek refuge from the Devil. These girls killed each other in the forest, and finally a winner became a witch who served the Devil. Qi Leren, who had become a girl, met an iceberg, Ning Zhou, and fell in love with her at first sight. He pursued his beloved goddess while struggling to perform his task. The goddess seemed to have a good impression of him. After a series of adventures where they shared life and death, they finally defeated the powerful enemy and completed the task. The NPC Isabel finally became the witch who served the Devil. The two players met on the steel bridge in the Village of Dusk, but unfortunately he found that his goddess was also a man, and the undying love shared between the two people in the task quickly died.

4. [Seed of Slaughter]: After his failed first love, Qi Leren suffered a great blow and unfortunately met a player who had been parasitized by a seed of slaughter while flying in an airship. This player went mad because of the seed of slaughter’s outbreak, killing innocent people on the airship, but Qi Leren was parasitized by the seed of slaughter after killing him in defense, and then was taken away by the Village of Dusk’s judicial Trials Court. In order to remove the seed of slaughter, he made a deal with the Trials Office and became an undercover member of the crazy society that worshipped the Devil of Slaughter. Chen Baiqi, a businesswoman whom Qi Leren had met in the Village of Dusk, invited him to visit a common friend's grave on the Undead Island. After every player died in the Nightmare World, a tombstone was automatically generated on the island. As a result, Qi Leren found a large number of his own tombstones on the Undead Island. He had thought that his S/L skill was simply activated in the instant before he died. He felt very scared and questioned if he had already died, or if he was just a copy with his memories. On the Undead Island, his friend Chen Baiqi told him the story of Ning Zhou. Only then did Qi Leren know that Ning Zhou was an exorcist of the Nightmare World’s Holy See, and homosexuality was forbidden in the Holy See. Therefore, Ning Zhou was very pained after learning that he was a male, and Qi Leren felt very guilty.

5. [Castle Cry]: Qi Leren and his good friend Dr. Lu activated a copy task called "Castle Cry". The background of this copy was that three couples came to the mountains in the suburbs to watch the stars in the middle of the night for the once-a-century meteor shower. There was a European-style old castle built on the mountain during the Republic of China, which was said to have been built by a German couple who came to China to do business, and was later abandoned after a fire. The local government had repeatedly tried to repair the old castle, but accidents had occurred. No one had set foot on the old castle. At midnight that night, the clear night sky suddenly covered with dark clouds, raining heavily, and the six people were trapped on the top of the mountain. The rain was getting heavier and one of them proposed to take shelter from the rain under the eaves of the castle...

After entering the castle, Qi Leren and others dug up the old castle’s story. It turned out that a noble lady with a family history of hereditary mental illness had married her sweetheart, but her sweetheart loved her maid Adeline. The noble lady poisoned Adeline because of jealousy and married her sweetheart as she wished. After marriage, they came to China to do business and built the old castle. Her husband did not want her to give birth to children who might also suffer from the hereditary mental illness, so Nina, the housemaid, was instructed to add mercury powder to her diet as a contraception. After learning the side effects of the mercury powder, Nina secretly reduced the dose. Finally, the wife became pregnant. After Nina heard that the child would be deformed, she was very afraid, worried that the wife’s mental illness would be triggered if she gave birth to the deformed fetus, and she accidentally caused her to fall down the stairs and miscarry. After the miscarriage, the wife’s mental condition deteriorated sharply and she was often paranoid, suspecting that everything was caused by the ghost of Adeline, the maid she had poisoned, and the relationship between husband and wife almost broke down. In order to save her love, she began to sacrifice to the Devil, and finally became demonized herself, killing everyone in the castle and setting fire to it.

During the mission, Qi Leren found the laptop computer with the Nightmare Game, but the computer had run out of battery. He put away the computer and prepared to bring it back to the Village of Dusk to find someone to make a transformer so he could connect the power supply and try to play the ending. During the mission Su He reappeared, saying that there were some abnormal reactions in this mission, and it was suspected that demon energy had polluted the task’s world, which led to the plot confusion and difficulty increase. This mainly manifested in the fact that the crazy lady sacrificed to the Devil and gained demonic power after her mental illness worsened. This mission should not have had such a plot. With the help of Su He, Qi Leren and Dr. Lu successfully solved the problem of the crazy lady and finished the task, then returned to the Village of Dusk, but the laptop mysteriously disappeared from Qi Leren’s item storage.

6. [Slaughter Secret Society]: After returning to the Village of Dusk, Qi Leren received a notice from the Trials Court asking him to disguise himself as the secret lover the former head of the Slaughter Secret Society (deceased), and seize the Slaughter Secret Society’s memento ring to gain the command of the Slaughter Secret Society, so that the Trials Court could catch all those crazy believers. Qi Leren approached the members of the Slaughter Secret Society as the coquettish gay "Red". During the mission, he was unfortunately attacked by Ning Zhou and both of them were shocked. During the undercover mission, Ning Zhou helped him get out of trouble several times. Both of them vaguely felt that they still liked each other. Although they were not women, they were still attracted to each other. After successfully seizing the Slaughter Secret Society’s memento ring and handing it over to the Court, Qi Leren had the seed of slaughter removed and triggered the main task "The Dream of the Holy Nun".

7. [The Dream of the Holy Nun]: The Dream of the Holy Nun was carried out in the main world, involving the past where the old Devil led the demons to invade the human world more than 20 years ago. At that time, the Holy City where the Vatican was located was unsustainable, and the Holy See evacuated urgently to Neverland. The Holy Nun Maria couldn't bear to see the people of the Holy City slaughtered by the Devil and created a powerful field, sheltering the whole Holy City in her territory. After the war, the old Devil was killed and the Holy City was left with serious destruction. After more than 20 years, the Holy City was still protected by the remnants of the Holy Nun and was shrouded in fog and inaccessible. Qi Leren got the Holy Nun Maria’s memento in the Village of Dusk, and he could enter the Holy City with it. At the same time, he also learned that Ning Zhou was the son of Maria and a player. In order to fulfill Maria's last wish—to liberate the closed and dying Holy City—Qi Leren, Ning Zhou, Dr. Lu, and Su He went to the Holy City together.

At this time, the Holy City is still peaceful, unlike the nightmare of the outside world. However, Qi Leren and his party had found an abnormality. No newborn had been born in the Holy City for more than 20 years and, from a certain year, every night of the new moon the citizens had to fall asleep before midnight and sleep until dawn, otherwise they would disappear. In order to explore the truth and fulfill Maria's last wish, the group of people began to investigate the cause of the abnormality. Finally, it was found that a surviving witch who had followed the old Devil King was accumulating strength to unlock the Holy Nun’s seal, which caused the sleeping people to change from human beings to demons because of the influence of demon energy on every lunar night, while the humans who remained awake became the targets of the demons, who hunted, brutally killed, and ate them. Qi Leren and others opened the seal on the site of the Vatican and acted separately.

When Qi Leren came to the cathedral where Holy Nun and old Devil had fought in the war, he found that his good friend, Su He, who had always been mysterious, gentle, and powerful, turned out to be a Devil. After the death of the old Devil, he gained part of the Devil’s power and had been secretly planning something. When he was in the Novice Village he had discovered Qi Leren's uniqueness, so he had been deliberately approaching him and using him, successfully following him into the Holy City protected by the Holy Nun’s power, and reached the old Devil as he wished. Su He let Qi Leren choose whether to degenerate into a demon or die. Qi Leren pretended to obey and died with Su He after saving, but failed because of the great disparity in strength and was finally killed by Su He, who was summoned by a messenger of the Devil of Power to leave the Holy City.

Because he had an item that would resurrect him in seven days, Qi Leren wrote a 7 on the ground in blood before he died, trying to tell Ning Zhou that he would be resurrected in seven days, but suddenly remembered that 7 means I love you in the Nightmare World. After Ning Zhou arrived, Su He had already left, leaving only Qi Leren’s body and a misunderstood confession. Ning Zhou realized that he was deeply in love with Qi Leren, regardless of gender, and that he loved this person's soul. So Ning Zhou returned to the Vatican in Neverland after the funeral, confessed his sin of falling in love with the same sex to the Pope, and left the Holy See.

So ends the first chapter.

&&& The story continues &&&

As the sun rises and the moon sets, the days and nights change. Seven days are fleeting.

The Garden of the Holy Tomb was wrapped in a gentle barrier.

Here, the sun was blazing, and it was also hit by an afternoon rainstorm. Countless monsters lingered outside the enchantment, showing malicious curiosity about the scent of a human inside the enchantment. But because they can't destroy the enchantment, they left disgruntled.

The breeze blew, tossing up the blue and white petals on the branches and they fell in great numbers to the ground, as well as to the hollow tree that had become a tomb. In just seven days, layer upon layer of petals had covered the man sleeping in the tree tomb, letting him be buried in this annihilated city together with the fallen flowers.

[Countdown to resurrection: 0 days, 0 hours, 0 minutes, and 0 seconds.]

[Easter Egg has taken effect, all skills and items are returned.]

[Player Qi Leren has completed The Dream of the Holy Nun. The task completion rate was 117%. Obtain special task clues, and reach the Purgatory deep in the Underground Ant City within 23 days for the next task to auto-trigger. If it becomes overdue, it will be regarded as giving up the task.]

[The reward is 90 survival days, and the unexpected factors interfering with the task progress have given an additional reward of 10 survival days.]

[Player Qi Leren has completed the achievement of "Deceiving the Devil of Fraud". The reward is the skill card "Secretly Observing".]

Qi Leren opened his eyes.

Stiffness, soreness, heaviness... Countless negative states superimposed on him, making him almost think he was paralyzed. The world consisted of mottled floating light and shadow, but the fresh scent of flowers and plants entered his nose.

The heart was beating again, the blood was flowing again, the lungs were filling again, and the Qi Leren was gasping for breath. The body that had been suspended in death for seven days seemed to have just been lifted out of an ice coffin. All of the organs in his body had almost forgotten how to operate, so they could only restart with difficulty as they let him change back from a dead person to a living person.

It took him a long time to remember everything, including his own name, but the next thing went smoothly. Qi Leren quickly recalled where he was and what he’d experienced—he was killed by the Devil of Fraud and the murderer had gotten the demon crystal of the old Devil before he left, but he’d concealed the fact that he would be resurrected in seven days.

Ning Zhou!

Qi Leren suddenly sat up from the tree tomb. He was dizzy because of insufficient blood pressure, and his spine made a scary "click" sound which made him almost think it was going to break. Fortunately, it held up strongly. Because of lack of oxygen in the brain, Qi Leren lay back again, staring at the blue sky and white clouds overhead.

The Dream of the Holy Nun task had been completed, that was to say, Maria's field had been solved. There was no doubt that the person who completed it was Ning Zhou, not Qi Leren who had won by lying down. Now that the task had been completed Ning Zhou had left the Holy City, but he had stayed in the Garden of the Holy Tomb because Ning Zhou had left his "corpse" here.

Thankfully, Ning Zhou didn't cremate him. Thank you customs of the Holy See!

Orthodox Vatican people usually put corpses in open coffins, covered them with cloth or other materials, and then buried them in the coffins after they decayed into bones. Because if a corpse was buried directly in the ground, the power of faith couldn’t dissipate, and the corpse often couldn’t rot for several years, so it needed to be placed in the open air to wait for the power of faith to collapse naturally. This process was also considered as the process of the soul ascending to heaven.

Although Qi Leren was not a member of the Holy See, Ning Zhou followed this custom and left him a whole corpse.

His body recovered some strength, and Qi Leren's thinking recovered from the initial delay to his usual state. He sat up and drank some water, and recalled his "death".

Death was like sleeping to the extreme. He had no longer been able to feel anything externally, but he had started "dreaming".

A looming dream that made him feel lost.

He had dreamed of Ning Zhou's mother, Maria.

She sat on a swing in the Garden of the Holy Tomb, which was on the big tree that was later broken by lightning while it was still verdant. At that time, Maria was not the famous Holy Nun. She was just a young girl, swinging on a swing in the warm afternoon, enjoying the beautiful time of youth and leisure.

Qi Leren walked towards her. Maria saw him and nodded to him with a smile. Her blue eyes seemed like the blue sky.

The sky... Qi Leren's consciousness was shocked by this deep blue. He suddenly flew, as if his soul had detached from his body, rising higher and higher, and the Garden of the Holy Tomb grew small beneath his feet. Together with the old site of the Holy See, it all became far away. The whole Holy City was brought before his eyes, and then the distant mountains and rivers... Countless demons were wandering, human beings were experiencing unprecedented suffering and struggling to survive, all of the cruelty of this world was shown to him.

He seemed to be a god overlooking the world, staring at the devastated land with compassionate eyes, but he could do nothing but grieve. This pain lashed his soul and great sadness tormented him. He desperately wanted to do something for the world, but found himself as weak as a worm.

"Look, when you stand at this height, you will find that you are even smaller and weaker than you think."

A gentle female voice came from behind, and Qi Leren "saw" Maria behind him. He understood why there was always a lingering pity and sadness in her eyes.

"But such fragile human beings have to fight against this world persistently, control their own destiny and the destiny of the world, and we never give up. Let the Devil go back to hell, let human beings dominate this human world, and let foreigners like you return to their own world—the martyrs who are gone worked hard for this, and one day, this dream will be realized."

"Ms. Maria, why did we come here from our own world?" Qi Leren asked.

Maria shook her head gently. "This is something that the will of the world decided. We suspect that it was only an accident at first. Later, it deliberately introduced more foreigners and wanted you to maintain this unbalanced world. Unfortunately, there are too many variables amongst you, and the fallen foreigners have aggravated this imbalance... It still has not given up... You have to be careful, you are already the object of observation."

The feeling of being secretly watched made him uneasy, and Qi Leren wanted to ask more questions, but he has already started to fall.

From the sky, dropping rapidly and falling to the earth!

This feeling of weightlessness was like being awakened every night by his nightmares, when he woke up in horror at the memories of his deaths, sweating profusely.

There was only Maria's gentle but regretful voice in his ear: "I can't tell you any more. Come to the church. I have something for you."

The dream of Maria had ended, and the Qi Leren who had come back from the dead recalled this strange dream. He understood that this was not an ordinary dream, but the residual power of Maria’s influence on him. It seemed that he must go to the church at the top of the former site of the Vatican again.

His body gradually recovered its strength and Qi Leren gawked at the Vatican uniform on himself, and the white roses that had already withered on him. Those thoughts about Ning Zhou that he didn’t dare to dwell on rushed back to his mind.

Love at first sight, feelings amidst danger, life and death before disaster... The beauty in these memories was deeply buried in shock when they had met again, but his death was the key to awaken everything, and the mistaken confession of that which should not be said was the straw that crushed everything.

He shouldn't have said anything, he should have died in silence.

If Qi Leren could go back in time and choose again, he would not write down the 7. He would rather swallow this overflowing love silently and would rather let Ning Zhou think he was really dead, so that he wouldn’t be forced to go down this blind alley that would only lead him to the fire-lake of hell.

He couldn't tell the person whom he loved, who maybe loved him, that he loved him.

Because this was an impermissible and sinful love.

He was not afraid to fall in love with Ning Zhou, but he was afraid that this love would bring pain to Ning Zhou. He was even afraid of himself, who was full of hope and longing in his heart—how could he expect a saint to admit his guilt over such a love?

This secret expectation was selfishness and even sin.

How was Ning Zhou now? And where was he? Would he return to the Holy See? Could he go back?

When love broke taboos, how could a devout believer face the reality that he had deviated from his faith? He was destined to give up one of them.

Qi Leren shook his hand and picked up the bunch of white roses on him.

The roses had already withered, and fragile yellow petals fell from the stems that had had their thorns shaved off, just seven.

That is Ning Zhou’s silent answer.

Qi Leren slowly showed a smile, but his eyes were wet-

On the ring finger of his left hand, there was a ring made up of grass stalks. It was so rough and humble, like a craft made by a child. If it fell to the ground, no one would look at it again.

It just so happened that it was placed on Qi Leren’s ring finger, a symbol of love, commitment, and eternity.

Therefore, its destiny was not to be a toy woven by a child, but to be the most faithful and brave answer given by a devout believer after he had tortured himself and subverted his faith.

A pair of lovers who shouldn't fall in love, at both ends of life and death, spoke their own words from the soul.

I love you.

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Editor’s Notes:

Welcome back! A little bit of housekeeping to begin:

[Here] is the NovelUpdates page for part 2.

I made up a little [list of significant characters] who appear in part 1, including which skill cards they have, for anyone who would like a refresher. This is also linked at the top of part 2′s TOC page.

As was the case for most of part 1, I intend for chapter updates to be every second day. I will mention if this is ever subject to change.

Lastly, while this chapter does not have an author’s note, I wanted to include a note from part 2′s summary section since it gives some fun hints of what’s to come:

“PPPS: Inspiration comes from horror movies and games such as the Alien series, the Silent Hill series, the Resident Evil series, Bloodborne, Dark Souls 3, etc. There are also a number of documentaries used, specifically when it comes to time periods.”

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[Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

[avenger-hawk]

Hi you have a great understanding of Sasuke's character and awesome blog. Could I ask you for tips on how to write Sasuke right in fanfiction? When I try I never seem to get him right

Hello and thanks Anon. First of all, y’all don’t get offended if I’ll destroy some of your fave tropes in fics...I don’t judge ppl writing what they want in their fics, it’s their own fic so ofc they write what they want and how they want it and if they have fun with gay-uncle-Izuna, CEOItachi and sluttySasuke good for them...but when ppl impose their OOC Sasuke (or Nar or Itachi&co) as the real thing, and boy if they do....well. Nope.

Anyway I replied to similar asks here, here and here, so I’ll copy-paste some parts. My Sasuke tag. More Sasuke meta. More headcanons. More essays tag.

Sasuke is not dominant. He’s not bossy. He’s not assertive. He’s very passive in relationships and he values individual freedom, his own and other people’s. Ppl mistake his determination in pursuing his goals with assertiveness but it’s a totally different thing. He never makes the first move with ppl, unless he has a goal and he needs them, and even when he needs them, like Taka, he never imposes his will on them. He first freed them then he asked their help for his own goal, saying that he would accept if they refused. He never imposed himself on his brother (a child wanting his big brother’s attention is not being dominant, it’s natural) and he never did it on Nar or anyone else.

Sasuke is not selfish, he is the most selfless character in the whole series. He respected people, he didn’t see himself above them. He didn’t see himself as a genius or anything. He worked hard because he had a low self esteem, he was always compared to Itachi and he always lost. He was humble enough to ask others’ help, like asking N*ruto how S*kura was able to climb the tree with chakra in the beginning, or asking Team Taka’s help to find Itachi, asking Kakashi to make him stronger and following Orochimaru for more strength. And during all these, he was thrown in his face parts of the tragic truth about Itachi and his clan and he always had to get back on his feet and fight more. His world crumbled so many times on him and yet not only he reacted but he always was able to help those around him. Not with big words like N*ruto but really, freeing Orochimaru’s prisoners, Taka, and earlier protecting his team from Gaara, protecting N*ruto from Haku, and later proitecting N*ruto from Kaguya and then protecting the whole world from her, protecting Itachi’s ideal, his sacrifice from those who threatened to make it useless. He was ready to become the world’s only enemy to keep them together, following what he thought Itachi had taught him indirectly.

Sasuke is neither possessive nor jealous. He never showed any sign of possessiveness or jealousy towards anyone. He protected Taka and N*ruto. He defended Itachi’s name, unlike too many like to think: when he threatens Danzo to stop talking about Itachi it’s not because he’s jealous but because he doesn’t want that bastard to talk shit about his perfect brother, especially cause that bastard was the reason of his ruin. He was defending his name from an enemy and it was pure and selfless, not possessive at all! Proof of this is when Hashirama praises him instead, Sasuke is happy. He likes people to speak about his brother in a good way! When they were children Itachi always dismissed Sasuke who pouted but never got really angry or jealous at Shisui for example. And at the end of the fight vs Kabuto he aknowledged Itachi’s resolve to leave even tho it broke his heart to lose him again, and he let Itachi go with the saddest face but the utmost respect.

Sasuke is not arrogant. He has a low self-esteem. He was raised in the shadow of his genius brother, he suffered for his father not noticing him, he later developed an inferiority complex towards N*ruto as well because of his quick progress, compared to his own that he perceived as slower and not enough (that’s why he joined Orochimaru). When he brags it’s not because he’s the bragging type (aka N*ruto, Kiba &co) but it’s because he’s either making fun of N*ruto, since they were rivals/friends (not to mention it’s a shounen trope) and, even more so, because he is proud of his achievements. He worked so hard always and when he created a jutsu or smth he says it. Because he has low self esteem but he’s not socially awkward or shy or whatever (see later paragraph). So he is proud of his own results. (which is also a very TE thing, for those who care about mbti stuff).

Sasuke doesn’t value his life much. This is a result of his low self-esteem, which leads to poor sense of self-preservation (to prove that he’s strong, like when he was a genin and he trained so hard,and later to pursue his goals, for which he’d give his body to Orochimaru and his life over and over). Also he is so determined to achieve his goals that he’d do anything for them. He was ready to die on many occasions in canon for this and even later, after the ending, he’s seeing himself as a tool. Also, he never really got over the sense of worthlessness first caused by his father and then by Itachi’s words the night of the massacre. Not in a real life trauma-like thing, but as a way to see himself. this means that all those stereotypical rocking back and forth, cutting, whatever behaviors are not like him, who always got back to his feet and lived, although not for himself but for his goals.

Sasuke is not bitchy or spoiled. If he was he would have a great self esteem, and he clearly showed to have a very low self esteem instead. He never made anything about him actually, as all his goals were about others, his family, his brother, and so on. He was the one who did better teamwork in team7 actually, and he protected his friends and comrades, not to mention he freed Orochimaru’s prisoners and fought for the village and its people. How is this spoiled or bitchy, and btw, bitchy ppl do get offended and he never paid attention to offenses towards him, only towards his brother.

Sasuke is neither the haughty élite type nor the shy/socially anxious/‘emo’ type. He is neither Neji nor H*nata. He is aloof, he is always lost in his own thoughts and he doesn’t care about socializing because he wants to become strong, because he cared more about his family and goals, because he cared more about their opinion than the opinion of classmates. He valued strength since the beginning, being raised the way he was raised, so he valued the praise of strong people and not of the others, unlike those who seek praise from everyone. On the other hand his being aloof doesn’t mean he can’t have normal interactions, and the fact that he doesn’t use honorifics doesn’t mean he has socialization problems. Only that he doesn’t pay attention to these things anymore. He was always pragmatic, and after the massacre he became pragmatic to an extreme level, cutting off all unnecessary things, manners included. It doesn’t mean, though, that he doesn’t respect some people (=those he deems strong. Including Team Taka). He just shows it through actions.

Sasuke is not se/xually aggressive/dominant/whatever. He is too busy with his own goals to have se/xual or romantic thoughts (unlike other characters both male and female, not just Karin but also S*kura, Ino, and ofc N*ruto). I wouldn’t define this being asexual tho, because their universe is not ours and I’m sick&tired of all the real world/Nar universe parallels. He’s passive in relationship and on many occasions he showed indifference to se/xual anything, not disgust. Just, it wasn’t his thought. Because he is on a different wavelength. So even when he told characters to not be so close to him or smth, he didn’t move away, he just told them, which kinda proves my point once more of how passive he is towards ppl and relationships, he just lets them be. On the other hand, aceSas is better than hornydominantSas that is so OOC it hurts, be it with Itachi, Nar, S*kura or whatever other girls/boys.

Most MAIN characters didn’t understand/didn’t try to understand him. The ones who understood him more are unexpectedly not his friends. Not counting Taka ofc.

Sasuke is passive. He is the yin and N*ruto is the yang. In case this isn’t clear. It’s canon. Kishi used a yin/yang parallel for him and N*ruto, so while N*ruto is yang/sun/warm/ positive/active/male principle in nature/masculine, Sasuke is yin/moon/cold/negative/passive/passive/female principle in nature/feminine. Passive doesn’t mean weak. It means receptive, adaptable, flexible, which Sasuke is, since he’s the one who adapted his life and goals to new events, truths and changes, unlike most others who just kept going their own way no matter what (see N*ruto or Itachi). Many see him as assertive because he faces every situation in a very determined manner, taking actions and deciding everything independently. But being an independent thinker has nothing to do with being assertive or passive. I say he’s passive because he actually always reacts to what life (or Itachi) throws at him, every time. His reactions are quick and strategic, so it’s easy to miss this, but still, again, Itachi or N*ruto actively engage the environment and life, and influence other people, not Sasuke. He’s also passive with people, in relatioships. He never seeks anyone unless it’s for practical reasons, he only reacts to them approaching him. And he reacts in a very calm way, quite mild compared to how determined and detached he is, considering that a lot of characters invade his personal space or more, in the whole series. When he chases after Itachi it’s because he’s his younger brother and it’s natural for them, and mostly because Itachi set up his life so that he would focus on him, still it’s Itachi who is assertive, and he reacts in return. He makes a deal with Orochimaru, to obtain strength and give him his body in return. When he forms Team Taka, before asking their help, he first gives them freedom and only then he asks them to join him, making it clear that he won’t force them if they’ll refuse. He gives them something before asking something in return. This is not just a passive thing but something more because he is not selfish, like I said before.

Sasuke is an independent thinker. Unlike other smart thinkers like Itachi or Madara, to whom the story associated him, Sasuke was kept in the dark about many things, so he developed his own view of the world later, but when he did it was original and unique, just like his fighting style and strategy.

Sasuke is private about his thoughts and feelings but he’s also honest about them. Itachi is mysterious and not honest about his feelings, not him. He is aloof, it’s different. Just because he doesn’t trust many people and he’s lost in his own thoughts it doesn’t mean he is a shoujo mysterious character lol.

Sasuke is goal oriented. He does whatever it takes to achieve his goals. He would have given his body as a vessel for Orochimaru, not caring about what would happen to him, as long as he could have his revenge. He would have lived an eternity in solitude so that the world would have lived in peace. And, again, his goals are never about himself.

Sasuke wanted to die after he killed Itachi, but then when he woke up and was told the truth he had another purpose, and so he lived on.

Sasuke admires and respects strength but he’s not power thirsty. He wanted to become strong because he wanted to be worthy of Itachi and his father, than because he had to avenge his clan, then he had to avenge Itachi. It’s because he had low self-esteem and was selfless that he sought power. He wanted to be beside his father and brother, not to surpass them, actually. It’s Itachi who talked about surpassing.

Sasuke is very smart and logical, but he is easily manipulated with the right arguments. Like using Itachi, or appealing to his low self esteem, his feeling of worthlessness, his emotions. Because people who are logical are actually not emotionless. In fact they have a hard time controlling their emotions when they feel strongly, and this can be seen clearly every time Sasuke loses control. He becomes more impulsive than N*ruto who instead gets calmer, because he’s more in touch with his emotions (lol ofc he is, everything is always about his own emotions and feelings). Sasuke puts his feelings and emotions aside to reach his goals, he acts logically and pragmatically, he observes, makes plans, finds the better ways to do things, no matter how hard or dangerous for him they are. He has logical arguments even though they appear ‘crazy’ to other characters, and it’s sad to see how in the end he was belittled by N*ruto, as if his arguments were meaningless, they were not addressed at all, just deemed wrong, not with counterarguments but with illogical emotion based words that just made him feel unstable, as it happens when you have logical arguments and they tell you ‘you’re just depressed, you don’t get things right’.

In the end, he was tamed into submission. He was defeated, put in jail, isolated, guilt tripped and berated because of his ideals and goals, denied the justice he rightfully demanded.

All these can be observed directly. Others, more subtle things about him I wrote here, towards the end of this long post.

[the-littlefangirl]

TFATWS episode 1 rewatch commentary

The first scene was so beautiful. I loved that we didn't start directly with the fight sequence. It feels way closer to the quiet beginning of CATWS and I love it so much.

The title is also SO NEAT, music's on point too but hey it’s Henry Jackman the one thing I’m sure it’s going to be great overall is the score.

The choreography is AMAZING, really well shot. Sam shielding himself with only one wing was MA-JES-TIC.

“WHAT'S UP” EXACTLY SAM EXACTLY

I did feel so uncomfortable in regards to the military aspect of it. Not that I was expecting anything else, but both here and in Captain Marvel the military we're good guys < 3 propaganda is so blatant and ugh:/ At least there wasn’t a literal recruitment spot like with CM. 

The yellow filter in the Tunisia scene BYE please stop with the yellow filters 2k21

"I've been working with the Air Force for six months now" So, did Sam even catch a break at all after Endgame? Or did he just throw himself to work like SOMEONE did after being iced for 70 years. Hmmm? Sam????

"Essentially, these people, they want a world that's unified without borders" OH NO! HOW AWFUL, how evil of these bad guys smh

Joaquin: SO about Steve

Sam: :)))))) nope

"Moon stuff" SAAAM

#1 cry with Sam's speech, full on chills.. Fuck. Me. His voice about to break before saying thank you bYE.

Shady politician: "It was the right decision" (FUCKKKKK YOUUU)

Rhodey: *press any key to doubt *

I need someone to analyze the different curation of the two exhibits pretty please

NOT THE PHOTO POST-AZZANO JFC. That photo is my weakness, Bucky sweetie (also I find hilarious that usually when there are articles about Stucky and/or #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend they aaaalways use that photo LMAO)

In case someone wants to read the transcription of the texts about Bucky: "In 1944, while on a mission to thwart a Hydra weapon transport in the Alps, Barnes was thrown from a train and believed to have been killed in action. It wasn't until 2014, over seventy years later, that it was revealed that Barnes was alive, having been found by Hydra operatives. Captain America himself (i can't read) the effort to bring Barnes in only to later aid in a escape from custody having been convinced of his innocence. Steve's loyalty to his old friend, coupled with his refusal to sign the Sokovia Accords, led to the dissolution of the Avengers and drove the Captain into hiding with other like-minded Avengers including Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, and Sam Wilson. The current whereabouts of Barnes remains unknown, habing been labeled a fugitive following his escape from custody."

"current wherabout unknown" but not the government, interesting. Also, pretty good summary of CACW from the public's perspective, although one of the things I always wanted to see explored was the public's reaction of the fallout of them going into hiding after Civil War (which I'm hoping we'll get to see a little bit of in Black Widow).

Interesting point about the 70 years without having Captain America. Clearly the sacrifice play wasn't enough this time to fuel the nationalism so they went with a squeaky clean John Walker instead.

Sam saying the shield belongs to Steve I'm going to cry now excuse me. Sam. Sam sweetie.

The No. 1 Captain America comic in the display ugH fuck yes

See this is how you do a cameo that has actual meaning. Thank god for Malcolm Spellman being a competent writer. That scene was so well written.

HAVE YOU PRAISED ANTHONY MACKIE'S PERFORMANCE TODAY?? Holy shit that last shot fucked me up.

I'm loving the use of the wide shots, especially in the flashback. The camera movements are in synch with The Soldier's state of mind and mission focus, so good.

EVERYONE STAND UP FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM aka The Winter Soldier theme composed by Henry Jackman.

Without a doubt the most brutal TWS fight scene there has been, People involved in Punisher and John Wick are involved in this and it SHOWS. 

For the record, still stands that the only time we've seen him chocking someone with his right hand instead of the metal arm remains the Maria Stark assasination. I know it's probably because of blocking and the way the shot was composed but the implications are still bone chilling. God.

Uhhmmmm I'm very ambivalent about the "Hail Hydra". On one hand, it was 100% fanservice and the internet is probably going to go insane over it, and the dead way Sebastian Stan delivered the line. Good shit. Buuut what I love about CATWS is the way Bucky never, ever ever, mouths Hydra rethoric, and even when Pierce tries to gaslight him with it, it's just an empty effort. The Winter Soldier isn't doing anything because of ideological loyalty to Hydra, even if it's product of brainwashing, it's just sheer dehumanization. They don’t need him to say the words because he’s just An Asset. There are people who have put it more eloquently but yeah, I rather go with the fanon interpretation of that aspect.

The music growing louder with the shot of the keys. GOD.

I'm fine this is fine.

#2 cry with the therapy scene of fucking course.

The government monitoring Bucky is noooot going to end well lmao.

"We need to know that you're not gonna * slowmo stabbing motions *

Bucky: * nodding along slowly * 

I laughed out loud.

"It's passive agressive" I love him.

The way this scene just sucker punched me in the face, made me weep and then had me cracking up. Amazing.

Therapist: You can't do anything illegal

Bucky: yup yup check checkity check. What IS considered illegal tho?

*aggresive tablet finger pressing *

"Then why isn't it rule number one?" Bucky your Steve is showing.

I love the close up shot. I'll keep saying it. It's so good.

"I'm James Bucky Barnes" yeah you are🥺

That smile is nightmare fuel LMFAO I love it.

Uhm the way I'm kinning Bucky it's not funny anymore damn

That whole “are you lashing out at me” rambling is really reminiscent of the bar scene in CATFA and how he lashed out at Steve after Peggy left. Uhm yeah fuck.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" "Peace"

"That is UTTER BULLSHIT" "You're a terrible shrink"

yeah ugly crying to ugly laughing speedrun for me

"You're free" "To do what?" jesus. That entire scene. #3 and #4 and #5 cries for moi.

Ugh that Brooklyn shot. Someone needs to do a gifset compairing it to the one in CATFA asap.

"It's like Monique but it's got a "U" in there for uniqueness" "That's absurd" LMAO

"You can't keep fighting with your neighbors" uHM * redacted redacted i'm shifting into 1940s mode abort abort *

"Nobody passed 90" "So young. Such a shame" FGADHGA

🥺🥺 yes flex those flirting skills good for you

"It's a dance to this things. You can't… you gotta warm up and I haven't danced since 1943. Feels like." #6 cry I completely broke down into tears with that.

This Yori storyline is going to punch me in the face with a metal fist. Great!

The TWS theme when he looks at Yori fuuuuuck.

GREAT LET'S GO TO LOUISIANA THAT WAS GETTING HEAVY.

Those shots of Sam in the car. Immaculate. Showstoping. Yes.

Marvel, what if instead of promoting the military industrial complex you put a lot of publicity about cars?

"Uncle Sam!" LMAO subtle.

Everyone trying to have the wings lmao same.

I've only had Sarah for a day but etc. Brooklyn 99 meme

Good mirroring about Steve and Sam family's legacy. Good shit. Goooood shit.

Sam is trying so hard ouch my heart. I can't imagine how painful the scene with them reuniting must have been. He 100% still feels a lot of guilt about being gone for those 5 years (and even longer before that).

"Maybe it is time for us to move on" uuuuuuuuuuh

"To the rescue" "Always" 🥺🥺 i love them so much already

That shot outside the restaurant is so beautiful. Can't wait to see the night scenes in Madripoor tbh.

"I tried the whole online dating thing. It's pretty crazy". Uhm well that is something that Bucky Barnes has now said. In canon. Damn.

"It's a lot" "You sound like my dad" LMAO

Every Bucky fanfic trope speedrun with this scene

"Wow you really can drink" OH you have no idea

Just realized we don't even know her name, well.

"You have any siblings?" "I have a sister" THE WAY I SCREECHED. We're definitely getting Becca

Well that escalated quickly. The important thing is to try?

I can't deal with this BUCKY SWEETIE #8 cry right there fuck

The wardrobe department is KILLING IT, there's such a difference between the outfits of the shows vs how ugly and generic it usually is.

"ThEre is NO such thiNg as on time. You're either EARLY or LATE . picK One" lmao the way he delivered that line

At first I thought the flag smashers had thrown two cars out of a window LMAO

"I don't know how jurisdiction works here, but I'mma have to place you under arrest" uhm yikes. The way they changed Joaquín Torres backstory to just random army nice guy #1 is not sitting well with me, what can I say.

Sam's wings motions I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR

Fuuuuck this guy.

"Funny how thing's always thighten around us" "Look, I'm on your side. After all, he's a hero". This script is C R I S P as hell, great fucking job.

"I don't care, I'm not gonna quit" "What are you trying to prove? And who you trying to prove it to" SHIT HSIT SHIT!!! UGH amazing. Look it's not necessary to say the show's questions out loud but how they flow between the conversations is still very satisfactory without feeling in your face about it. Inner conflicts have been set up fucking perfectly everyone * claps *

Ugh here we fucking go.  I knew this was how the episode was going to end but my stomach still dropped like a rollercoster. God.

The score is on point. Damn. Damn.

God, Sam.🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

The captain america franchise's visuals in the credits are always so amazing.

Also, does anybody know why Mackie isn't first in the billing?  Uhm what's that about?

ANYWAY CONCLUSION THAT EPISODE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE HOLY SHIT. I love them so much. The balance between the personal conflicts and the political aspect (although the military aspect is still very much yikes) was on point and it was overall a joy to watch.

[storiesnobodyreads]

ENDLESSLY INFURIATED [1]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Story: You hate Bucky Barnes more than anything and are not shy to let everyone know about this. Will things change when Steve convinces you to join him on a fancy night out?

There were not many things that endlessly infuriated you. Bucky Barnes, however, was definitely one of those things. His brooding, quiet self frustrated you to no end, and there was no clear explanation for this, not even to you. He had technically never done anything wrong. Always a gentleman, always polite, always oh-so-willing to sacrifice himself for his friends. Sometimes it seemed that Barnes had decided that he wasn’t supposed to be alive at this point anyway so he might as well rescue others no matter the cost.

“Want some coffee?” Barnes asked when you trudged into the kitchen of the Stark Tower early in the morning.

Unfortunately, Barnes was always the first one up and ready, so whenever you felt motivated to go for a run or workout early in the morning, this good motivation was instantly killed off by Barnes’ presence. “Ugh, no, fuck off,” you groaned.

“Good morning to you too,” said Barnes without a care, pouring some coffee into one cup for himself.

You rolled your eyes, fetching some cereal and milk and thudding down on a high chair at the bar. To your absolute dismay, Barnes joined you at the bar. You stared at him. “What the fuck?”

Barnes raised his eyebrows at you. “Didn’t realize you own this place. Last time I checked I’m free to sit wherever I want.”

You put up your ultimate bitch face. “Fine, dickwad. Just don’t talk to me. Don’t even look at me.”

For some reason, it pissed you off possibly even more that Barnes never seemed to care about your blatant verbal aggression toward him. He simply slightly shook his head and took a sip of hot steaming coffee, which admittedly smelled really good. He twirled his cup in his hands, looking relaxed in his grey sweatpants and over-sized white sweater.

Cute, you thought quickly, but you soon pushed that thought very far back in your mind. You finished your breakfast as fast as you could, in absolute silence. Barnes didn’t look at you once nor did he seem to feel the need to start a conversation. In a sense that you despised, breakfast was actually quite peaceful like this. When you were done, you got up to place your used stuff in the dishwasher. 

“I can clean up,” Barnes offered, “so you can go on your run.”

You narrowed your eyes and stared at the man with as much hatred as you could gather, violently placing your bowl in the dishwasher and practically throwing the spoon in its holder. Without saying another word, you marched out of the kitchen, where you bounced into Tony. “Oh, good morning, Tony!” you said cheerfully, pressing a kiss on the man’s cheek. 

“Mornin’, lovely,” was Tony’s response. He was wiping some sleep out of his eyes, clearly having had a long night. You didn’t quite know what project he was currently working on, but it was fair to say it was robbing him of his sleep. “You’re up early,” he commented.  

You nodded, ponytail swinging. “Felt good today. Am going for a run.”

“Alright, love. Have fun.” 

“Thanks, thanks. Maybe after I could help you with your project, if you got anything to do for me?”

Tony scratched the scruff on his chin, suppressing a yawn. “Yeah, I might have some things for you to look at later. Thanks for offering. Now go run, kid.” You grinned when he sent a wink in your direction. 

Barnes spoke up from the bar, “Have fun, Y/N.”

In reaction to him, you simply raised your middle finger and strolled out of sight. 

Running had always simultaneously been your most favorite and least favorite activity. You loathed it because it was often boring, leaving you alone with your thoughts which soon turned into a mentally challenging exercise. You loved it because whenever you felt anxious, you could just run as fast as your legs could carry you and sweat all the anxiety out. Sam’s explanation for this had been that when humans get stressed, their fight or flight reaction gets triggered, because in the good old days stressors were things like wolves. After being confronted with the wolf, you would either be safe or dead, but not anxious. With the stressors of the current society, you can’t run away or fight, leaving you with an uneasy feeling. But running, sometimes, helped you get rid of that feeling.

On top of that, it was a wonderful morning. Not too hot, not too cold, not a cloud to be spotted in the bright blue sky. The nice smell of fresh bread oozing from the bakeries as birds awoke and fluttered through the air. Despite having had breakfast with Barnes, it was a good morning. And it felt like today might be a good day. 

You returned to the Stark Tower an hour or so later, when you presumed most of the Avengers had woken up. You happily greeted Elena the receptionist and said hello to some of the security guards, waving cheerfully at James from Human Resources through the glass walls of his department. After a quick stop to send your best wishes at the Youth Centers Tony had set up for children and teenagers in need of books or an internet connection or any form of help, you made your way up to the Avengers headquarters. 

Needless to say, you were relieved to find Barnes’ seat empty. 

“Y/N!” you were welcomed enthusiastically by Steve, who waved you over to the couch in the living room. All the glass walls, which according to Tony emphasized openness and honesty among the Avengers, made it easy to see whenever someone entered. You made your way over to Steve, moving past Wanda who used some of her red flaring magic to pull you closer to her so she could plant a kiss on the top of your head. Wanda spent most of her time using her magic to fly around the kitchen and living room, simply to annoy the other Avengers that they couldn’t fly. Thor had once started the argument that he could, in fact, fly, but when Wanda had dared to do so without the help of his hammer, his big mouth soon vanished. 

Having arrived at the couch, you let yourself fall down, sprawling your legs over Steve’s lap and letting your head rest on Sam’s knees. “What’s up, losers?” you smiled. 

“Ew, you stink,” Sam coughed exaggeratedly. He faked trying to push you away from him. “Take a shower before you come poison us!” 

“Steve asked me to come here!” you argued. 

Steve grinned and patted your shins. “That was before I realized what a sweaty human being you were. Disgusting, Y/N, really—anyway, the reason I asked you over here is because I kind of need you to do me a favor.”

You instantly became suspicious. “Oh no. What?”

“Well, remember that nice new girl that is working for James in Human Resources now?” Steve started with a nervous laugh. 

You shot up straight and gently hit Steve against his chest. “You didn’t!” 

Steve was laughing, “I did, I did. I asked her out on a date. We’re going out tonight.” 

“No way!” you exclaimed excitedly, throwing yourself at the man to hug him. “I’m so happy for you! Lucie is so nice, Steve! The two of you would make such a lovely couple!” 

“Alright, calm down there,” Steve lifted you up from him, smiling widely. “Thank you very much for introducing us, though. I owe you one.” 

“This is going to be amazing, Steve, I—” you realized suddenly that Steve had started out this conversation stating that he was going to ask for a favor. “Right. I’m very happy for you, but what do you want from me then?”

“Well,” Steve cleared his throat. “When I was asking Lucie out for a date tonight, I might have accidentally, you know, in the heat of the moment, I was very nervous, I might have said that it was going to be a double date... Um, to make it less awkward.” 

You stared at him. “To make it less awkward? To make it less awkward you thought it’d be a good idea to invite me?”

Steve put up a broad smile. “Yes?”

You grabbed a pillow and threw it into Captain America’s stupid face. “WHY?” you exclaimed incredulously. 

“Because she knows you and she likes you!” Steve defended himself, raising his arms to stop to downfall of more pillows on top of his head. “And somewhere in my rambling I thought it was easier to a group activity than it just being the two of us--”

You emphasized every word with a hit, “you – are – so – dumb!” 

“That’s not even all I— damn,” Steve laughed, fighting back to steal the last pillow away from you. He put up his puppy eyes. “Please tell me you’ll come with me. Please. I really like Lucie and I need your help.” 

Raising one brow, you marvelled at how Steve was usually such a strategic leader out in the field and yet here he had turned into a begging boy, nervous because he liked a girl. You shortly remembered how Steve hadn’t always been this good-looking and still had a sense of insecurity when it came to his looks and getting girls. “My god. Okay. But that means you owe me twice, Steve.” 

Steve attacked you with a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” 

“Gosh,” you tapped out on Steve’s back, unable to breathe with him on top of you. When he let you go, he looked so relieved you decided it might actually be worth it to help him out this way. “Right then. Where do I have to be?”

“Down at the reception, at 7? I’ll choose the restaurant and everything. It’s going to be fancy. That’s a warning.” 

You glared. “Why do you say that like I am incapable of looking fancy?”

Behind you, Sam barked out a laugh. “Because, sweetheart, you are absolutely gorgeous, but it is an odd day to see you wear anything other than gym clothes. Look at what you’re wearing right now.” 

You scoffed indignantly. “I just came back from a run!” 

Sam and Steve continued teasing you and making you laugh until you decided that it presumably was time to go for a shower. After cleaning yourself up you stepped into an old pair of jeans and shirt to join Tony in the basement to see if you could help the exhausted man out. 

You found Tony lying beneath an old car, sparks flying out of underneath the vehicle as machines were whirring loudly. You kicked Tony’s feet. “Oi!”

The man startled and bumped his head against the car. “Jesus!” he cursed, before rolling from underneath the vehicle to face you. “For fuck’s sake, can you make an entrance like a normal human being for a change?”

“Not really,” you smiled while fetching an iced pack from the fridge and tossing it in Tony’s direction. “You know me. Such a diva. Always the centre of attention.”

Tony grumbled some inaudible cursing words as he pressed the iced pack onto his forehead. “Not a bigger diva than me, you’re not. You’re too comfortable is what I’ll give you. You feel like you can be your most annoying self with the Avengers.”

You raised one eyebrow. “And can I?”

Tony shrugged. In a short burst of honesty, he said: “Of course. We all love you. Would be lost without you.” With similar ease, he barked at you: “Now will you help me out and fuck off out of my sight?” He proceeded to explain what you could do in order to help out with a small piece of his project. You were no expert in engineering like Tony, but he had taught you a fair amount over the years. Even though you weren’t gifted like Peter, you were a fast learner and possessed the power of common knowledge and google. 

Peter wasn’t present in Tony’s basement that morning, even though it was generally his favourite place to be. Tony didn’t tolerate many people in his basement, as his usual working vibes included loud AC/DC music, an excessive amount of coffee, red bull and alcohol, and as few living things to bother him as possible. You and Peter were the only Avengers that were allowed to come and go as you pleased. 

As soon as Tony had finished his instructions, he turned up the volume of his music and vanished back underneath his car. 

You twirled some tools in your hand and made your way to the back of the basement, where you wouldn’t be in Tony’s line of sight. As you moved around a high stack of apparatus to reach a free desk, you found the one person sitting there that you didn’t want to see. 

“What the fuck are you doing here, Barnes?” you called out. 

Barnes didn’t even look up. Massive noise-cancelling headphones rested atop his head, seemingly so to avoid going insane thanks to an overload of AC/DC. He was wearing a simple white shirt; his back somewhat sweaty and muscles tensed as he tinkered on the machinery before him. His black hair was bundled up in a small knot in his neck. His metal arm operated smoothly, all his movements perfectly under control. 

You gawked at the man for a while. Probably a little longer than was socially acceptable. Likely a lot longer than was socially acceptable. 

There were many negative things you thought about Bucky Barnes, but you couldn’t fault him on his looks. The man was extremely good-looking and fit, and no one could deny that. 

But then you remembered his personality and instantly felt annoyance bubbling up in your chest. God, he was infuriating. You picked up some nails from a desk and tossed them softly against Barnes’ back to catch his attention. 

The man shot up straight, struggling his headphones from his head and face up to you. The temporary panic flaring in his blue eyes, the way his hands clenched to fists... Then he recognized who you were and his posture relaxed, the fear flying out of his expression. 

He breathed out. “Hey.”

Suddenly you were very aware of how you were looking. Messy bun on the top of your head, over-sized sweater that did not accentuate your shape, and small jogging pants that barely covered your butt. Compared to how good Bares was looking while engineering, you felt kind of insignificant. 

But Barnes didn’t look at you like you were insignificant. There was a sparkle in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place. “You...” he seemed to have lost his tongue. “Um, you look...”

You pushed your insecurity away and felt rather annoyed with yourself that you allowed this man to throw you off guard. “I look what?”

“Good,” Barnes blurted out. “You look... You look good.” 

Staring at him, you squinted. You were feeling all kinds of feelings, which infuriated you, and you reacted to Barnes the way you wanted to react to your feelings. “Fuck off. What are you doing here anyway?” 

Barnes was blinking. “Oh, um, my arm has been malfunctioning a little lately. Stark wanted to fix it for me, but I figured it was about time to learn how to do it myself. So that’s what I’ve been trying to do.” 

“Can you do it somewhere else?” you demanded rudely. 

“Not really,” Barnes replied, unphased. “I think I need this...” He gestured toward the fiery machinery he had been working with. He proceeded to vaguely repeat the instructions Tony had given him to create a tiny chip that would solve the issues of his metal arm. Within about two seconds of hearing Barnes speak about his unfortunate invention, you realized that he had no idea what he was talking about. 

You sighed tiredly. “You are the dumbest person I have ever met. I can’t even. Move out the way. I’ll do it.” 

Barnes opened his mouth, presumably to protest, but you pushed him out of the way before he could make a noise. Remembering that Barnes had started out willing to do this on his own, you started explaining every little thing you did, including your entire thought process. Barnes listened intently to every word you said, letting out small ‘oh’s and ‘ah’s when he noted where he had gone wrong. It took hours and hours to finish Barnes’ issue, but both of you were patient and focused and time flew as you worked together. As soon as Barnes got the hang of it, you trusted him with the slightly smaller tasks as you multi-tasked and worked on Tony’s project as well. Tony showed up with sandwiches for the three of you at a certain point of time before vanishing under his car again. Barnes set you cups of coffee so that the two of you could continue tinkering with focus.

When Barnes’ new arm was completely finished, you helped attach the thing to his shoulder. He looked extremely uneasy but didn’t let out a single noise of complaint. Once it stuck, he closed his eyes to concentrate and got his fingers to move, explaining it was always a little weird to have this extension of his body. He commented it felt like a good arm, though, and within minutes he was using it as if he had used it his whole life. Somewhat exhausted, the two of you ended up sitting next to each other with your feet up the desk, silent and staring at Barnes’ old arm. It was quite peaceful. A satisfying silence, somehow.

“Alright.” You placed your hands flat on the table and got up. Barnes’ gaze followed your every move. “I’m done,” you grunted, wiping some concentration sweat from your forehead. “Can’t believe I spent so much time on your dumb ass.”

Barnes leaned back in his chair with a smile, studying you as you shook your hair out. His hands were folded in his lap. “Thank you so much. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“I know,” you confirmed with a nod. “You couldn’t have. And that’s because you grew up without having electricity. And you’re old.”

Barnes’ face cracked open in a wide grin. “Can’t argue with that. You’re a lot smarter than me anyway, even if I had been born in the same time as you.”

You narrowed your eyes, not trusting these compliments. How was Barnes still nice to you after all the shit you gave him? “Absolutely.”

The man continued smiling, looking straight at you, happy. You didn’t know what to do with yourself or where to hold your hands, his warmth radiating. You cleared your throat. “What time is it anyway?”

Barnes checked his watch. “Eleven past six.”

You blinked. “In the evening?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit,” you cursed, remembering your promise to Steve to join him for a dinner to make his date with his crush Lucie less awkward, “I have a thing. I have to go.”

Barnes moved up from his chair. “Yeah, Y/N, I think—”

“For fuck’s sake, why did I spend so much time with your today?” you busted out, rapidly gathering your things. “Glad I really have to go so I don’t have to waste another minute with you. Have a horrible evening, Barnes!”

“Y/N—” Bucky tried to say, but before he could finish his sentence, you ran out of Tony’s lab. You checked your outfit and realized you were still in short jogging pants and a large sweater—after Sam’s comment of you never looking fancy, you could impossibly show up to the dinner dressed like this. You wanted to prove Sam and Steve wrong and dress up like how you had never dressed up before. And there were two people you knew to be perfect for this job. Therefore, as you were running through the Stark Tower, you texted your two best friends with a code red. And when you finally made it to your own room, you expected nothing less than to find Nat and Wanda waiting impatiently for you on your bed.

Wanda leaped up, looking worried. “What is code red?”

You let all your engineering stuff fall on the floor. “I’m going out for dinner tonight at 7. It’s supposed to be fancy.”

Both Wanda and Nat’s facial expression went from indignance that you were not dying, to absolute excitement. “Does this mean what I think it means?” Nat breathed out. “Are you going to let us dress you up?”

You rolled your eyes. “Yes. Don’t be too girly about it.”

But both Wanda and Nat were already squealing like the girliest girls in the world, more than exhilarated that they got to have their girly moments in their lives filled with heavy tasks of being an Avenger. “I’m getting my stuff!” Wanda squeaked, vanishing from the room with a red flash. Nat threw her hands up in the air. “Dresses!” she yelled, and ran out of the room as well. Both of them returned within no time, arms filled with make-up and clothes and a bunch of stuff floating behind them thanks to Wanda’s red magic. “I just realized we only have half an hour!” Wanda was screaming. Nat pushed you, “Wash yourself! Hurry!”

They granted you one minute of showering before pulling you out, throwing a sexy pair of lingerie to you (“You never know where the night goes!”) and then setting you on the bed. Nat held up several outfits for you to judge while Wanda got to work on your make-up and did your hair. Nat selected a little red dress for you that wouldn’t be too revealing. When you put it on, it hugged the curves of your body nicely and made you look way hotter than you thought you actually were. Wanda had finished your face, hair and eyes, with only lips to go, when Nat started yelling: “It’s seven o’clock!”. “LIPSTICK!” Wanda shouted back, which resulted in Nat tossing a deep dark-red lipstick at Wanda and her smearing it somehow perfectly on your lips. They rushed you up in front of the mirror. You were absolutely confused, having gone through the most stressful getting-ready process ever. But when you looked into the mirror, your jaw dropped.

“I look fucking stunning, babes.”

Wanda and Nat cheered. “Yes, you do!”

They showered you with compliments as they led you downstairs to the reception, moving slowly on your heels, despite the time being way past seven. You felt powerful and beautiful, ready to confuse the hell out of Steve and make it a wonderful, hopefully not-so-awkward night. Strolling down the last set of stairs, you spotted Lucie and Steve standing arm in arm. Lucie was wearing an extremely cute, long, dark-blue dress while Steve was dressed up in suit and tie. Once Steve’s eyes fell on you, he choked on his own saliva and his eyes popped out of his skull. “Hot damn, girl!” he called out.

You laughed, throwing your hair back in your neck. “Who says I can’t look fancy, eh?” Wanda and Nat had left you to get to the reception on your own, though you could still hear them whooping and whispering compliments behind you. You cut around the corner, finally having arrived at the reception of the Stark Tower, perhaps a little past seven, but fully dressed in a fancy outfit. And then you saw that it wasn’t just Steve that had dressed up in suit and tie.

Bucky Barnes was dressed up as well, looking immaculate. His face clean, beard and hair well groomed, smelling fresh and sweet, in a pristine suit that made him look even more handsome than usual.

It was the second time today you found him in a place where he wasn’t supposed to be. It was also the second time today you stood gawking at how gorgeous this man was.

Barnes was looking at you with his eyes wide, a flicker shining that you couldn’t quite explain. His lips parted as he looked over your appearance, but he couldn’t quite seem to find his tongue.

Your cocky expression had faded, but you did find your tongue. “The fuck are you doing here?”

Steve immediately came in between the two of you. “It’s a double date, Y/N. I told you this, right?”

You tore your eyes away from Barnes to stare furiously at Steve. “You most certainly did not, Rogers.”

“Well, it is,” Steve forced a smile. He proceeded to wrap his arm around Lucie, who stood nervously eying the situation. “And we are very excited to go on the double date, aren’t we, Lucie?”

Lucie nodded, eyes big. “Yes. You, um, look really beautiful, Y/N.”

Lucie was so very obviously shitting herself that you felt bad for her. You sighed. It mustn’t be an easy position for her, ending up going on a double date with three well-known Avengers. Even though you talked to her all the time and you would consider yourselves somewhat friends, at the very least good acquaintances, it made sense she was still nervous. Were you really going to make this even more nerve-wrecking and miserable for her? Were you that much of a bitch, that just to get across your hatred for Barnes, you would ruin the night from Lucie and Steve?

You took a deep breath. “You look beautiful as well, Lucie.” You eyed Barnes, realizing you were now officially on a date with him. “Let’s go.”

[popculturebuffet]

Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck Restrospective: The Raider of the Copper Hill! “You Got Rich Son”

Hello all you happy people! And welcome back to my retrospective of the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck! It’s been far too long, almost three months since we last checked in with Scrooge and frankly I feel i’ve been spacing these entries out too much for this one and for the retrospectives that aren’t paid for in general. So expect at least one McDuck adventure a month till I finish, possibly two when I can swing it like this month. 

Now i’m done beating myself up, when we last left off a younger more naive, more optimistic and less experienced Scooge took up a career as a cowboy for  Cattle Baron, gained his first sidekick in the form of his Horse Hortense, and took out some cattle thieves with the help of Teddy Fucking Roosevelt. 

This chapter marks the end of the story’s first act. The first act is about a younger and far nicer Scrooge: still onrey and still a cheapskate, but still a good kid and far more outwardly friendly and welcoming, a far cry from the bitter untrusting man we come to know. This chapter is one of the reasons why, as Scrooge learns a hard lesson about wealth and success, the sacrifices one needs to make for family and about sticking your hand in a lightbulb while it’s plugged in. So join me under the cut as Scrooge meets another valuable mentor, one of his greatest enemies, and about 50 feet of barbed wire. 

We begin with the end of Scrooge’s time as a ranch hand and cowpunch. With homesteaders moving in and dividing up the land, Murdo simply dosen’t have the space for cattle baroning anymore and has to let Scrooge go and head back to texas. We do get a great bit of Scrooge wrapped in barbed wire, having gone to cut some down so Murdo could move the herd out. 

So with his Job done and parting on good terms with his old boss, Scrooge sets up his own homestead on some land near the Anaconda Silver Mine, trying to make it as a prospector, starting on the path that would eventually lead him to riches.. in about a decade and a half.

 So Scrooge bemoans his rotten luck over Dinner with a stranger, Marcus Daly owner of said mine... who just.. randomly sat down to have dinner with a 17 year old. 

Marcus belays his own woes: While Scrooge has failed at what he tried to do, having gotten into both steamboating and cattle punching too late to go anywhere with either, Daly has a silver mine that’s full of copper: decent amoutns of it but still not what his investors wanted. 

Both however find their fortunes reverse in an instant in the weirdest way possible. The light goes out at their table and Scrooge tries to adjust it only to electcute himself. To his shock...

He finds out it’s running on electricty, which is starting to become widespread.. and requires vast amounts of copper wiring. Scrooge is back in the game but finds trouble getting equipment as the local seller naturally is a jackass who jacks up the price. Scrooge instead sells the gold teeth his dad gave him to the nearest gentleman after talking him into it. . And i’ts not even the weirdest transaction i’ve seen this week. 

For the record those weird things are the guy on the left’s skinflakes, his power is to make naked golems of himself out of his dandruff and skin flakes and what have you, while the guy on the right is paying for a mutant with a star for a head. So yeah a scottish cowboy selling his ancestor’s dentures to pay for mining gear is refelshingly tame after all of this. 

So we get the comic equivleant of a montage as Scrooge starts his work at prospecting, making a portable homesteader shack as a miner owns any land he lives on, and moving around to try and find it, but he runs into a problem: with his last two careers he had mentors to help him learn what to do: Pothole taught him riverboating and Murdo helped him learn to ride the trails. Here he has no one and while you can self teach a lot of things prospecting isn’t one of them. 

He end sup finding one though as a rich gentleman asking about the mine happens to wander by: Howard D. Rockerduck. If that names sounds familiar it should as he’s indeed the father of exactly who your thinking of and we meet a young 10 or so year old john who asks him to stop dealing with a grubby workman. We also find out whose responsible for him turning out ot be such a piece of work as his mother’s response to his father telling him “I used to be a grubby workman is well... word’s cant’ do this amount of classist bulslhit justice. 

Seriously his unnamed wife is so odious it hurts. And how the fuck did an honest, kind man like Howard end up with this bitch? It’ sbaffled me every time i’ve read this: did he marry for money? is he a gold digger? go down gold dig get down? Is she just THAT good in bed? Did he just make a horrible mistake one night? Did she lie to him about who she was? Was she replaced by a skrull? I have questions no duck comic has properly explained.. and if they have please tell me.  Also it does tickle me we’re getting a bit with a duck named howard though sadly he wears a top hat instead of a nice little bowler. And if you don’t know who howard the duck is.. shame on you. And if you’ve seen the movie.. my deepest sympathies. 

While Howard laments wanting to horsewhip his son, this was a century ago with change mind you standards were different and also John sucks. Howard crticizes Scrooge’s techqniue after introducing himself, and Scrooge and him get into a bit of a tizzy, with Howard offering to teach him for two cents.. but the hostility quickly desolves hours later as Scrooge realizes Howard was right and he’d been doing things completely wrong and the thrill of hard honest work again has washed away any ego driven competiviness. 

I”ll get more into Howard in a second but he does eventually strike copper, and while the vein is full it’s also thin. But Howard has one final trick and takes Scroogey for an ore test. I tried to find more on this but just found a lot of ways to do it yourself and what not. I”m now really intrigued how they did this and found the content of minerals. I know it’s a dull subject but i’m curious how they did it with the technology of the time. Did they just use acids like I found? If so how’d they get them? I do say this is one of the great qualities of Rosa’s works: he makes you want to learn more about history. I looked up more about TR after the last chapter and now I want to know how the hell metallurgy worked in the late 1800′s. 

We then get an intresting interacton as Scrooge.. warmly greets the townsfolk and vice versa.. yes the same Scrooge who as an adult would be introduced proclaming...

Is warm, optimistic and wholeheartedly belieives...

As you can probably tell by Howard’s reaction and what Scrooge becomes.. this story’s all about shattering that notion and is the first of two to shatter the poor kid’s trust in people and make him into the bitter old sod we know. 

The sample comes back 55% positive... which leaves Howard rushing to get Scrooge to a court house. As it turns out there’s an old, very real for the time, mining law called the Law of Apex: whoever owns the land closest to where an ore vein is on the surface owns the whole thing... so legally Scrogoe owns the ENTIRE ANACONDA COPPER MINE, which at this point as detailed in the time skip has gone from struggling to utterly thriving and sucessful. Whoever owns the land at the time the Judge rules it gets the mine.. and Scrooge’s friends, who seconds ago were concerned about him being dragged into court.. are now all scrambling to take his fortune, something Howard dosen’t seem at all suprised about. 

But while this may be a kinder, more naive Scrooge McDuck, it’s still SCROOGE MCDUCK. His response is to cut a nearbye power wire and swing it tarzan style over to hortense and ride her back ahead of the mob... with the electric wire slapping her rear and causing her to go extra fast.. and also quit. So Scrooge stands alone but manages to take out some of the ruffians with his shack while John and the Judge rush to the site. As for Scrooge well... you want to see what a McDuck family beserker rage against an ENTIRE angry mob of opportunistic assholes look like? 

And this isn’t even the most badass thing Scrooge will do this series. Or even in the next few issues. That’s how awesome this series is: fighting an angry mob SOLO with simply his pure rage and whatever he can grab and throw. And he WINS. He’s exausted and passes out, falling out of the sky on his final opponent.. but he took out what was at the LEAST 50 men, and ONLY passed out because one of them threw dynamite in his out house.. and even THAT didn’t kill him or put him out, simply casuing him to land on said dynamite throwing idiot and wins. 

We find out Rockerduck actually was one of the mine’s owners but helped Scrooge anyway: he has more than enough money and all it’s going to do in the end is go to a greedy brat. Marcus Daly shows up and while he’ll get the law overturned eventually, he still has to shut down while that happens and finds the right officials to bribe. And this is the 1800s... you gotta go by train to do your bribes. You can’t just do that shit over email and hidden bank accounts. Daly offers him 10,000.. but given what Scrooge could earn even before he got his mine back, Scrooge turns it down. 

However this victory is bittersweet as Scrooge warmly greets his friends.. only for one to cuss him out and the other to tell him to get loss. We then get one of my faviorite exchanges in this story.

This whole Panel is a masterwork. The sheer INNOCENCE on Scrooge’s face, almost looking like Donald, desperately wondering what he did, when as Howard points out.. he did nothing wrong. He simply got successful and they resent him for it. 

This has been a hard paragraph for me to write as I want to tread carefully. People do have good reasons to scorn the rich or celebrtiies sometimes. Some rich people or those in the media are genuinely terrible. Jeff Bezos, Tucker Carlson, Mel Gibson, Louie CK, Joss Whedon and even someone as low on the totem pole as Doug Walker is odious. And of course we all can think of one odious example of rich bastard i’d rather not think of, especially when thinking of John D Rockerduck and what he’l lbecome as an adult that i’m not giving a pleasure of the name drop but came to mind. 

But even for good people becoming succesful puts up a barrier between you and other people: Fans of yours will admire you or write fanfic or what have about you without even knowing you, i’ve been on that side, and some people will hate you just because without valid reason, especially in this day and age. Success breeds resentment and even people you trusted and loved can sometimes turn on you. It’s the double eged sword of achieving your dreams: You get what you wanted but you often loose what you had. 

And it was no diffrent two centuries ago, with Scrooge’s friends only being friendly as long as it suited them, turning on him first to steal his chance at glory and then to scorn him for daring to achieve it. Some people.. are only there for you as long as your not above them. And sometimes you can be happy. Look at Tom Hanks, who has a lovely family and a long and storied career. Or Linkara, a youtuber who has been at this for over a decade, has tons of fans, a loving wife with her own succesful channel, and just recently got contacted by his childhood heroes. You CAN be happy and successful.. it’s just very hard to make it that far. 

One of the central points of life and times is that’s often not the case: You can get what you want but it comes at a cost. And it’s how you pay that price that will determine how happy you are. Another central point intertwined with it is it’s not the journey but the destination, and i’ts how Scrooge takes that journey that ultimately leads him where he ends up good and bad. And we get an all to telling all too foreboding hint in how he takes everyone he knew for at least a year turning on him overnight. 

When faced with his first real loss on this Journey that wasn’t material.. he dosen’t care. He has his money and riches and that’s enough. And as we’ll see that attitude will cost him greatly. Howard is irate for a moment, hoping he wasn’t wrong in trusting Scrooge.. and indeed, for now, turns out to have placed his faith in the right person as Scrooge gets a telegram: his family needs him. And while he could stay, turn his back on them, and earn MILLIONS.. he tells Howard  to tell the owner he’s taking the deal. For now when given the choice between his family and his fortune, SCrooge will choose them. Sadly.. that won’t hold true forever. 

With this being the end of his time in the story, as he has a still insufferable John buy him a horsewhip for horrific but darkly funny reasons, as John brags about how rich his father is not realizing he’s buying his own whupping tool, i’d like to touch on Howard D Rockerduck and how amazing he is. Rosa managed to pack a throughly interesting, throughly engaging character into only 8 pages. While Rockerduck DID show up earlier in of ducks dimes and destinys, he wasn’t really fleshed out or named and only showed up for one page so still 9 pages total. 

But in those we see a kind and noble man whose easily what Scrooge COULD have been, kind, noble, generous, hardworking and willing to give up money to help people. He’s a good man.. but even he’s seen the sacrifice Money brings. He’s clearly lost friends, lost a sense of peace, and married the wrong Woman, whose poisoned his children into a spoiled brat who will only grown into an even more spoield adult in both continuities.. if raised quite a bit earlier in the 2017 cartoon as he was made scrooge’s contemporary there rather than a child, but semeantics. Point is Howard hismelf isn’t wholly satisfied with his success.. and that’s what he and Scrooge will forever have in common, with Scrooge, likely as a result of meeting the Rockerducks, fearing an indadiquate inheritor and someone squandering what he worked hard for. Though his reasons for not taking up a wife as we’ll see eventually, if outside the main 12 part story but I intend to cover the subchapters in their own time, aren’t entirely motivated by avoiding goldigging but a broken hard and his own stubborness. 

For now though we bid Howard and america adue. Scrooge however for once ends an occupation with less bitterness. Unlike his last two ventures where he made it out with only enough to get to the next one here he made it out ahead: he now has a decent suit, likely bought for him by Howard given he hasn’t cashed the check yet, I know this as it’s a major plot point for next time, 10,000 dollars.. and experince. He may of not gotten all the money he was due on this venture, but he learned more valuable skills and he feels with a land like america, the next opportunity to earn some dough is just waiting for him to get back. And as the chapter ends he muses that maybe the country could use a symbol of this countries boundless opportunity...

Final Thoughts for the Raider of the Copper Hill:

This chapter is one of my favorites. It’s nicely paced, something Rosa himself admits was often a struggle as he had to cover years at a time, has a wonderful new mentor for Scrooge, and sets up a lot of the tragedy to come in the last act beautifully. It’s a nice closer for our first act, showing Scrooge has come out of his first trip to america wiser, more experinced and more hopeful, but at heart still the same kind and noble kid he left Glasgow as. The next act is about the change of that boy into a man, how he will finally find his fortune after some more adventures.. and how the last viestges of his kindess and optimisim towards others die at the hands of a certain fake scotish gentleman. 

Next Life And Times: As is tradition for this series act openers, Scrooge returns home.. and just in time to get his castle back, fight a duel and go to heaven and back. So an average McDuck tuesday then. 

If you liked this review follow for more. And if you liked it a lot join my patreon so I can keep making these and hit my stretch goals. Even at just the 2 dollar level you get access to my discord and your pick of shorts whenever I do a series of them and with Goofy and Donald’s birthdays being the next ones to be celebrated you can’t pick a better time. patreon.com/popculturebuffet See you at the next rainbow. 

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 46 Review: 2 Theories About Jean Paul, Erica, and the Locket

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 | 3 }

{ Full Synopses/Recaps: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

In this great house on Maljardin, evil lives, even amongst the dead, and the poison this evil spreads threatens Erica Desmond, who lies frozen in this cryocapsule until the day a scientific miracle returns her to the living and back into the arms of her husband Jean Paul Desmond, who has defied powers real and imagined to assure his wife’s return from beyond the veiled curtain of death. Strange happenings are forcing a decision that could doom Erica Desmond...forever. 

Hello and welcome back to my Garden of Evil, where today we will examine Jean Paul’s reaction to Dr. Alison Carr’s new discovery about her sister’s bloodied locket and two possible explanations of what it may say about Erica’s death and Jean Paul’s state of mind. I could do an entire recap of this episode if I wanted to, but I'd rather narrow the focus of this entry to the theories that have been floating around my head for a while (one since before I started this blog, in fact).

A brief summary of the important stuff that happens in this episode: Alison learns that the blood on the locket is human blood, type AB-, which leads her to conclude that it must be Erica’s, because both she and Erica have that rare blood type[1]. She also tests the poison found in the glass of wine that Holly drank from two episodes ago and finds that it’s not the missing cyanide, but an unknown poison of vegetable origin. Elizabeth defends herself to Matt, telling him that she has no motive to kill Holly, not even her inheritance--and, surprisingly, he believes her. And then Raxl and Quito steal the rabbit from Jean Paul’s room and stumble upon that wonderfully sinister skull, which will co-star with Jacques in Episode 47.

Jean Paul receives irrefutable proof that the locket found around the rabbit’s neck belonged to Erica.

Outside of those plot points, this episode focuses primarily on Jean Paul’s confusion over how a bloodied locket even ended up in the cryonics capsule with his beloved Erica to begin with. When Alison shows Jean Paul the blood sample under the microscope, he's skeptical at first and tries to convince her that she either bled on it or someone else somehow put her blood there to confuse him. I would say it boggles my mind how someone with an IQ of 187 like Jean Paul can conceive such a ridiculous theory, but, honestly, it doesn’t. The popularity of conspiracy theories and other misinformation in our time has convinced me that human beings of any intelligence level can trick themselves into believing anything, no matter how patently absurd, if they want to believe it enough.

Subtle Dark Shadows reference?

I can’t tell how much of the next part where Jean Paul continues speculating about the locket is actually in the script and how much is just a particularly bad line flub. Listening to his dialogue, it sounds like a combination of both, but it’s hard to tell given that the character is supposed to be very confused already. Here’s an exact transcription of what he says:

Jean Paul: "Well, maybe I-I-I put the necklace on her neck without realizing it. I perhaps didn't put it on her when I put it in the capsule. It could have happened that way very easily. You see, I had thought I had. You didn't see me do it, did you, Raxl?" Raxl: "No." Jean Paul: "Quito, did you?" Quito: *shakes head* Jean Paul: "Well, there you are. You see? She could have cut her finger a while before she died, and so the blood got on the locket, and maybe I put the locket in the, uh, dresser drawer, and it was left there, and in my grief I didn't know what I was doing and I gave her another piece of jewelry which I put around her neck. Don't you think that probably is what has happened?"

Vangie isn’t convinced of any of these theories, and neither is Raxl. The latter believes that the locket appeared because of evil, “slimy like a snake, ugly like a black rabbit.” (WTF? The rabbit is adorable!) Jean Paul accuses Vangie of suspecting him, but she insists she doesn’t. Of course, he doesn’t believe her and he takes out his anger by breaking Alison’s microscope in half, throwing it to the ground, and accusing Erica of mocking him.

In the next scene, he ruminates in his room over the likelihood that he killed Erica, intentionally or otherwise:

Could I have killed my Erica? Could I have slain my love? That's impossible! Oh, you would like it, Jacques Eloi des Mondes, my bloody murdering ancestor. If it was so, how you would rejoice! But then, if I didn't put the locket in the cryocapsule with Erica as I thought, what other things that I believe as facts--things which are part of my life and experience--may be no more than creeping, malicious, lying fancies? Perhaps I didn't love my Erica at all. Perhaps I hated her!

Jean Paul pondering whether he truly loved Erica.

Getting dramatic!

Later, while lying on his bed in shirtsleeves, he realizes that he genuinely loved her, but that his memory is still faulty:

Jean Paul: "I loved her. I remember how I loved her. There was no world but the world outside, and then there was another world and that was us. Oh, how I loved her, so good, so beautiful, but what happened at the end? I can't…was the necklace with Erica when she was sealed in the capsule? I can't remember."

But later on when he visits the Great Hall (inadvertently giving Raxl and Quito the opportunity to retrieve the Rabbit of Evil), Jacques torments him by implying that Jean Paul, like him, is a murderer. “Think there’s a chance you may have murdered your sweet Erica?” he asks. “That blood was very interesting, wasn’t it?”

Jacques hinting again that they’re the same man, or just that the apple doesn’t fall far from the proverbial tree? Or perhaps this is like that one line from Game of Thrones: “You can’t kill me, I’m a part of you now.”

Then we get this exchange which acts as a segue into the next scene:

Jacques: "So maybe you killed your little love before you put her in that tin coffin, hm? Maybe there is no pristine, pure body to revive. That's what's been on your mind all day, isn't it?"   Jean Paul: "Even if it has been, I certainly wouldn't tell you."   Jacques: "You can have no secrets from me, anyhow. You know, if you ever are thinking of murdering again…" Jean Paul: "I did not kill her!" Jacques: "All right!" *laughs* "But whether you did or not, you might want to kill someone else one of these days." Jean Paul:  "Good night." Jacques: "All right, run away, but you might find an example of my skill nearer than you know and sooner than you think."

After he storms out of the Great Hall, Raxl and Quito return, the latter carrying the rabbit. Before they can sacrifice the rabbit in an effort to rid the house of its evil, it jumps from Quito’s arms. While trying to catch it, he bumps his head into a painting of mysterious ancestor Étienne des Mondes and knocks it off the wall, revealing a hidden cupboard with a skull swinging from a rope through its jaws.

We’ll discuss this skull in the review for next episode, where it becomes the focus. For the rest of this review, however, let us turn our attention to two possible interpretations of the Jean Paul and Jacques scenes in this episode. My theories are as follows:

Theory #1: Jean Paul killed Erica and is living in denial

Jean Paul’s reaction to learning that his deceased wife’s blood is on the locket and especially Jacques’ comments about it seem to imply that Dan Forrest’s theory about murder may not be a red herring after all as Ian Martin would have had us believe. Remember that, although Jacques is evil and Martin’s episodes portrayed him as the Father of Lies, he and Jean Paul may or may not be the same man. That could mean anything from Jean Paul having a split personality to Jacques having transported himself forward in time to live as Jean Paul Desmond before the events of Episode 1, but I’ll save those ideas for another essay. The point is that Jacques seems to know Jean Paul as well as he knows himself, and as such knows things about him that the other characters don’t.

It’s possible even that Jacques has observed and interacted with Jean Paul since long before Jean Paul freed him by removing the silver pin from the conjure doll’s temple. Think back to Jacques’ introductory scene in the pilot, where he responds to Jean Paul’s proclamation of “on this island, from this moment forward, I am God” with “bravo.” He could speak through the portrait and even give characters visions before Jean Paul freed him! Also think of all the things he’s referenced that a man from the 17th century wouldn’t be aware of: merry-go-rounds, bus time tables, the figurative expression “jack up by the bootstraps,” and whatnot. Assuming Jacques is a spirit like he claims, he’s been observing and learning things on Maljardin for a very long time! Sure, he looked confused about that fountain pen in Episode 4, but perhaps that was only because he hadn’t had a chance to practice using one before Jean Paul set him free. If Jean Paul killed Erica, Jacques would know about it and may even have encouraged it by communicating with him through the portrait. There’s no indication that the scene in the pilot is the first time he made contact with his descendant. It could be the second time, the fifth, the tenth, the thousandth, or more.

Also note that the exact cause of Erica’s death is never made clear. Jean Paul claims in Episode 5 that she died of eclampsia, but the Lost Episode summary for Episode 47 from the CBC program log indicates that Dr. Menkin’s missing notes would have eventually revealed her to have “died attempting to gain eternal youth.” The latter could have meant anything from plastic surgery complications to swallowing gold à la Diane de Poitiers. It’s not even clear if the attempt at eternal youth is truly the cause of her death, just what she was doing when she died. This leaves the possibility of homicide open.

But did Jean Paul (or Dr. Menkin) intentionally kill her, or could it have been an unpremeditated, spur-of-the-moment decision? I believe the latter is more likely. Jean Paul seems genuinely confused by her death, and even by whether he loved or hated her. It’s possible he already wasn’t in his right mind before her death and may even have blacked out during it (although probably not because of possession, as he had not yet freed Jacques). Perhaps the artificial intelligence hinted at by the reference to W. Grey Walter’s “Imitation of Life” factored into this: for example, the implant inside Erica’s brain may have malfunctioned, causing her to become violent and attack Jean Paul and/or Dr. Menkin.

SPOILER WARNING FOR THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM (1961)

Another thing to consider: Strange Paradise shares many plot points in common with the Roger Corman/Vincent Price movie The Pit and the Pendulum. In the film, we have (1) a husband whose wife recently died under mysterious circumstances, (2) whom he comes to suspect he accidentally murdered. (3) His doctor is living at the castle with him, when (4) a sibling of his deceased wife comes to investigate her death. Among the ghostly happenings in the house, (5) a portrait of the wife is slashed. Finally, (6) the husband goes mad and (7) is possessed by an evil lookalike ancestor, in this case his father. While I don’t think that we can accurately predict planned revelations in Strange Paradise using the events of a film written by someone unaffiliated with the show’s production, it is interesting to note that Vincent Price’s character accidentally buried his wife alive. This connects to the events of Episode 44, where Erica’s spirit possesses Holly and tells them to “let [her] out,” although in Erica’s case it’s more likely that she’s just been resurrected from death instead of being buried alive.

END SPOILERS

Theory #2: Jean Paul is imagining things

Another possibility is that he didn't kill Erica and is using the new (apparent) evidence to construct a false memory of killing her. Although most of us like to think of memory as infallible, numerous studies have proven that it's anything but. This can occur on a collective level, such as the famous Mandela effect where, prior to Nelson Mandela's actual death in 2013, many people misremembered him as having died in the 1980s. More often, however, individual people remember false versions of events from their own lives.

In the late 20th century, numerous psychological studies identified the way that even changing small details of a story--changing a stop sign to a yield sign, for example, or adding the detail of broken glass to the story of an accident--could alter a subject's memory of it, creating a "misinformation effect." During one such study, researchers used a fake advertisement showing Bugs Bunny in front of the Sleeping Beauty Castle at Disneyland to trick their subjects into believing that they could meet Bugs at the park (despite Bugs being a Warner Brothers character and Warner Brothers being affiliated instead with Six Flags). For 16 percent of the subjects, it worked, and they described further false memories of meeting Bugs at Disney, adding details like that they touched the ear of his costume[2].

Speaking of false memories of amusement parks, I swore for years that I remembered visiting a dinosaur theme park in the northern Ohio woods back in 1998 or 1999, when I was five or six. I never questioned whether the memory was real until one day when my family drove past a drive-through dinosaur exhibit and my dad said to my mom, "They didn't have anything like that when Michelle was a kid." Skeptical of his claim, I did some Googling and discovered that there was a dinosaur-themed park in the woods near Sandusky called the Prehistoric Forest that looked much like what I thought I remembered[3]. When I sent my parents the link to the article about the Prehistoric Forest, both of them denied ever taking me there or even having heard of the place. Nevertheless, I swear I've been there or somewhere very similar. I think the most likely explanation is that I dreamt about it, but that the memory of the dream was so vivid that I mistook it as one from my waking life.

Much as a researcher can convince their subjects to believe that Bugs Bunny appeared at Disney or I convinced myself that I had visited a place like the Prehistoric Forest, Jean Paul is capable of brainwashing himself into thinking that he murdered Erica. This isn't even the only time he speculates without clear evidence that he’s guilty of murder. We'll see something similar in Episode 137 regarding the murder of a different character, whom Jean Paul will successfully convince himself he killed despite hazy evidence at best.

Note that these two theories are not one hundred percent mutually exclusive. It’s entirely possible that Jean Paul killed Erica, but misremembered specific details about her death or how he felt about her. Also note that this show contains quite a few retcons, one of which we saw last episode. Just as the trajectory of this show has changed significantly from Ian Martin’s original plot, the truth about Erica Desmond’s fate is currently in flux within the show’s universe.

The contents of the secret compartment that Raxl and Quito discovered.

Coming up next: A delightfully chilling episode where Jacques uses the skull that Raxl and Quito found to further terrorize his guests.

{<-- Previous: Episode 45   ||   Next: Episode 47 -->}

Notes

[1] While rabbits can have type AB blood (or type ZY blood, using the system from this 1954 study) and they cannot tolerate injections of Rh-positive blood, they have different antibodies in their blood from those of humans.

[2] Elizabeth F. Loftus, "Memories of Things Unseen," in Current Directions in Psychological Science 13:4 (2004), pp. 145-146. There are other examples from other studies, including one involving false memories of witnessing a demonic possession, but the Bugs one is my personal favorite. Also, this period of Strange Paradise puts me in a rabbity mood.

[3] Coincidentally, the Prehistoric Forest's entrance appeared in the 1995 film Tommy Boy, which also featured Colin Fox and Pat Moffat (Irene Hatter) in supporting roles. There was also an animatronic dinosaur attraction at Sea World Ohio called Carnivore Park that operated in the late 1990s. Despite having visited that Sea World many times as a kid, I couldn’t have gone to that exhibit because we couldn’t afford to go there in 1998 or 1999.

[trustsalvatorewriting]

wasteland, baby! | kol mikaelson - chapter ten

Summary: Kol makes a deal with the Hollow to revive the first woman he ever loved. Unfortunately, it doesn’t go as planned.

Trust’s Note: Please like and reblog! I hope you enjoy. I added some Rebekah and Aniya content for y’all <3

Word Count: 2,708

Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten

❝ kiss me on the mouth and set me free ❞

TO BE CLEAR, Aniya Grover had never been talented at confrontation. Quite the opposite, really. Growing up, she’d been caught between her mother’s culture and that of the Vikings. Regardless, they’d both valued two traits in a woman: submissive, and quiet. She wasn’t to speak unless spoken to, not to act even when acted against. She was meant to cook and bear children for her husband -- something Rebekah had always rebelled against. Aniya, however, had learned to give into these ideals; and it was now, in the twenty-first century, that she was learning to lose them.

    Aniya looked up at Kol, staring daggers at him from across the dining table. It had been several hours since they’d left the diner and returned to the Abattoir. Aniya had left first, refusing to say her goodbyes after nearly murdering the witch that suggested Henry’s sacrifice. It had been Kol that stopped her, claiming that she ‘was only trying to help.’ It was then that she left without another word. Kol followed shortly after.

    When they returned, Kol called for his siblings to have a family meeting in the dining area. He excused Hayley and Hope, and gave Freya an open invitation despite not having met Aniya when she was alive. The two sat across from each other in the dining area, the air growing thicker with each second. Finally, they heard the sound of heels clicking against the pavement, and internally let out sighs of relief as Rebekah took her place next to Aniya.

    “Now, what might this be about?” Rebekah asked, pushing her chair in. “Have you come to ask for a custody agreement, Kol?”

    Kol smiled tightly at her, eyes crinkling at the edges. “I’ll have to say ‘no’ to that offer, sister. I wouldn’t want to run off with your only friend. After all, no one else seems to like you.”

    “Yes, well, at the very least, I have a friend,” Rebekah pointed out, a sickly sweet smile on your face. “You haven’t had a friend since the 1800s.”

    “1700s, really,” Niklaus cut in, taking his seat at the head of the table. He smiled smugly, and folded his arms in front of him, blue eyes glimmering with delight. “I’m afraid he was daggered for most of that century.”

    “That reminds me, I haven’t had the chance to return the favor,” Kol sneered and stood from his chair. Aniya’s brows furrowed at the harshness of his voice -- the way he seemed to growl the veiled threat at his half-brother. Slowly, she began to feel the weight of a thousand years on her chest. Whatever human version of Kol Mikaelson she’d loved had died centuries ago, and she began to wonder if all her suffering had been the result of pining after a person that no longer existed. If perhaps returning her memories would do more harm than good.

    Subconsciously, she reached hand up to touch the ring around her neck. Kol noticed and glared.

    She watched as Elijah placed a calming hand on his brother’s shoulder, suggesting that he take a seat. Kol clenched his jaw at his elder brother, but obliged, sitting back in his chair. Elijah nodded and took his place between Kol and Niklaus. He took a moment to adjust his appearance before giving a polite smile. Even this Elijah seemed foreign to her. More confrontational and protective, compared to the mere child he’d been before. He was well put-together, calm and a perfect mediator; and, in Aniya’s eyes, a perfect stranger.

    “So, what did we need to discuss?” Elijah asked, looking around the table. Rebekah and Niklaus shrugged in unison, and it occurred to Aniya that Henry’s life would mean nothing to the Mikaelsons so long as they had what they wanted. It would be Rebekah who would be most eager to have her memories returned to her, and Niklaus who would want Vihaan resurrected and return to -- somewhat -- mortal life.

    “It seems that Kol and a New Orleans witch have found a way to return your memories,” Aniya spoke slowly, watching for negative reactions among the siblings. Elijah and Niklaus had reacted the fastest, their eyebrows furrowing in confusion at her statement. Rebekah’s eyes widened as she turned her attention to the young witch. Aniya continued, “As well as a way to resurrect my brother.”

    “Kol, the last thing we need to do is be involved with the witches again,” Rebekah spoke quickly.

    “The witches have lost their link to their ancestors, and are being forced to practice Earth magic. They are at their weakest, meaning they will be willing to deceive and manipulate anyone who is foolish enough to play into their games,” Elijah explained. “In case you don’t remember, they were willing to sacrifice four teenage girls not ten years ago.”

    “As if we’re any better,” Kol shot back. He paused for a moment, his gaze flickering in Aniya’s direction. “If it hadn't been for you and Freya, Davina might still be alive."

    "If it hadn't been for me and Freya, the Mikaelson family line would have been murdered before your very eyes," Elijah corrected. "You may have loved that girl, but she was not your family."

    Rebekah placed a hand on Aniya's hand, which had been resting in her lap. "That's quite enough from both of you. I'm sure there's a way Aniya can return our memories without having to confide in the witches."

    "On the contrary, I have heard of her brand of witches less than a dozen times in my immortal life," Kol argued. "She refuses to practice magic unless provoked, so we aren't even sure she can do simple spells--"

    "You do not speak for me," Aniya cut him off, narrowing her eyes at him. She turned to the Mikaelsons, wringing her hands as she spoke. "I possess an offensive magic. It's a finite source, depending on the state of my health in order to be put to use. As of late, I have combined it with defensive tactics, in which I essentially use nearby resources to protect myself against the attacker."

    "And what the bloody hell does that have to do with memory erasure?" Rebekah questioned.

    "It seems that when I was sacrificed, all traces of my brother and I's existence was wiped off the face of the Earth," Aniya responded. "According to Kol's little witch, I can return your memories by erasing the memories of others."

    Nik spoke up finally, though his face remained blank as he processed the information. "And why would you need the help of New Orleans witches to achieve this? We have a witch, too. One who is not hellbent on returning to power at this very moment."

    "Our dear sister practices earth magic, Nik," Kol said with a sickeningly sweet smile. "She's only practiced sacrificial magic once, she's barely familiar with the concept."

    Aniya raised an eyebrow at his behavior. "Why are you so willing to hand me away to them? I'm not a New Orleans witch. They have no motive to help me."

    "Their motive is that they are indebted to me, and this is their way of paying it off," Kol said with a shrug. "It only cost a few dark objects."

    "You're interested in our marriage," Aniya stated. A light scoff left her lips and she crossed her arms over her chest. It had only taken a few short years of friendship to learn when Kol was lying. She'd recognized it in most of the Mikaelsons, outside of Niklaus. Each time, she'd been kind about it. Smiled politely and calmly asked for the truth. She took no interest in doing so now.

    If he'd simply asked, she might have shown him the memories herself. It might have hurt his head, the way it had done the night before, but at least then she might have been able to prevent the wall of ice building itself around her chest. Not only as a result of Henry, but of his doubt. She wouldn't need a grimoire to teach her the spells she'd spent eighteen years memorizing. She wouldn't want it.

    In her later years, her father began to teach heavier sacrificial magic. Spells to return or take away memories; to ensure the misfortune of an enemy; and spells to take a life. Her father had never taught her to return it, stating it wasn't the job of a witch to interfere with the will of the god's. It had been a pathetic excuse, of course, but she and Vihaan had kept their mouths shut.

    "And you're interested in a human," Kol remarked. "How did he know about Tyaag witches? Perhaps he's a New Orleans witch himself."

    He hadn't been. Henry Pearl had been perfectly human -- a tall, gentle mortal. He wouldn't have survived living in the village a thousand years ago, and she was afraid he wouldn't survive now. Perhaps she should have said goodbye after all.

    Kol watched the pendant that hung from her neck, its velvet ribbon covering the darkened scar she'd refused to heal. She might have gotten hurt if she'd tried to return the memories on her own, and there was no telling whether she would know where to begin. Every time he so much as thought of her within Death's grasp, an aching pain seemed to spread through his body. Some part of him would have rather died than see her get hurt, and he was no longer sure how to fight that side off.

    Turning his attention to his brothers, Kol pointed out, "You two are being ridiculous."

    "And you are being reckless," Rebekah snapped. "I want my memories of Aniya back as much as you do, but I am not willing to risk the life we've built for Hope. Are you?"

    He didn't answer. Instead, he clenched his jaw and turned to walk out of the room. Rebekah let out a sigh and stood behind Aniya's chair, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

    "I'm not sure why, of all people, you chose to marry one of my brothers."

    Aniya nodded, a look of defeat crossing her face. "He's the meanest boy I've ever met."

    Elijah and Kol made their way out of the dining room after saying their farewells to the two girls. Rebekah accepted a forehead kiss from Elijah before taking her seat next to Aniya, a gentle smile forming on her pink lips as dark waves fell over Aniya's face. "Let me know when you want me to plait these. I'm sure you're quite famished after a night out with my brother."

    "Quite," Aniya chuckled. "He was never like this."

    Rebekah's smiled dimmed a bit. "No, he wasn't. I suppose it's a difference between who you are and the person you need to be in order to survive; and in the presence of Niklaus, whilst running from Mikael and fighting bloodlust, we all changed a bit. Tell me, have I always been this way?"

    "Yes. I did admire you," She admitted. There had been a time during a bon fire, where she had chosen to stay indoors and help the women prepare food, while Rebekah stood outdoors and sat by the cattle. "Your father should have considered you a Viking."

    "I am sure I have always been a Viking," Rebekah said with a small laugh. "I can't think of other people that traveled around the world on ships; but then, we were running from our father, so I suppose we were more pirates than anything."

    Aniya's lips turned downward, her gaze falling to her hands. "The years not have been kind to you."

    "They were not, but what of you? A thousand years of sleep?"

    "Of nothing."

    She recalled having woken up to nothingness. She was met with a cold, dark silence, as if someone had locked her in an endless room and shut the lights out. She remembered waiting for Vihaan, who'd been killed two minutes earlier, and screaming when she realized he wouldn't come for her. She could recall the pang in her chest, and the sobs that had wracked her body as she bargained with the gods to bring her back.

    She'd been given someone who would observe her silently, capture all of her habits and flaws and loved her despite. Someone that had gotten lost in all of her features, and it had been ripped away from her. She'd been given a taste of freedom with each Mikaelson. Even little Henrik had been a chance for her to escape into a life she would never have: one where she might have raised a child.

    And she'd been left with nothing.

    After a moment, Aniya reached for Rebekah's hand shut her eyes, opening her mind to the Original. Rebekah fell into the void, and a few moments passed before her sight was able to adjust to her environment. She blinked, and notice a frail Aniya sitting a few feet away, her arms holding tightly onto her knees as she stared at the ground. She appeared to be the same way they found her: covered with dirt and dried blood. The blonde pursed her lips at the sight, and pulled her arm away from Aniya.

    "There's no need to worry now," Rebekah assured her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're immortal. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."

-

"WHY AM I HERE?" Aniya huffed as she stood at the gates of Lafayette Cemetary. Kol had promised her a milkshake. "Nik and Elijah agreed that we weren't to seek help from New Orleans witches."

    "Nik and Elijah are not my fathers," Kol remarked, pushing the doors open. He stood and held it for her, causing her to stare blankly at him. "All of your problems would be solved if you did two simple spells. Both of which you would have aid in, if you only asked."

    "They threatened Henry."

    "And they shred the soul of my former lover. Everybody makes mistakes."

    "Then why trust them?"

    "Because we haven't a choice in the matter, and at worst, we double cross each other," Kol said, as if it were obvious. "I am well-versed in the art of massacres."

    "Lovely. All the more reason to trust you," Aniya muttered and begrudgingly took a step into the cemetary. She hadn't returned since the night she was resurrected, though the Mikaelsons had dealt with the Hollow shortly after. They's done something with a parallel dimension or Geminis -- truthfully, Aniya never paid much attention to Nik's coffee chats.

    "I feel caught," Kol snickered as he walked alongside her. He looked down at the shorter girl, his eyes barely glancing at the path in front of him despite the graveyard's sharp turns.

    Aniya scoffed at his response, taking a moment to think before asking, "Do you want to know what I honestly think of you?"

    "What?"

    "I despise you."

    It was his turn to scoff. "You despise me. Why do you despise me?"

    "With every chance you have to do the right thing, to be kind and selfless and caring; you are nothing but conceited, selfish, and miserable," She listed, despite the mocking look painted across Kol's face. Aniya rolled her eyes at his response. "I feel sorry for you, I really do. I just wish you'd bear it better."

    "Well, you wouldn't understand, now would you? You've never had to watch who you thought was the love of your life, truly die."

    Aniya stopped and turned to face him. She analyzed his every feature, his brows twitching in anger and eyes filled with spite as he looked back at her. His lips were somewhat pulled behind his teeth, as if baring them at her in defense. Even his posture looked as though he were ready to pounce, despite the fact that they'd only had a verbal argument.

    She smiled tightly at his statement, fingers reaching for the old wedding ring before she remembered the previous night. "No. I'd move on if I couldn't be loved. I suggest you do the same."

[ciceroisthefamilycat]

The conclusion to the VA/BL reread with Silver Shadows and Ruby Circle (here’s the post on FH, here’s the post on the VA closers SB and LS)

I think I forgot to emphasize this in the last post: it is bullshit that Adrian still had the Alchemist-paid-for apartment after the events of “TFH” and only becomes more unbelievable that Trey has it still in “SS”... I do not get it

Like with SB and LS, I would make a lot of plot changes in the adaptation.

Silver Shadows

Fun fact: her golden lily on this book cover actually flashes a little gold in the right lighting, and I love that

This one, especially the majority of Sydney’s stuff in the first half or so of the book, was much better than I remembered.

Adrian’s stuff had me far less forgiving. I realize he’s struggling with a fictionalized elevated form of bipolar disorder and he developed addictions in trying to self-medicate over most of his adolescence/early adulthood so far, but as far as his actions go... the part where he blackouts for something like three weeks while in Sydney’s chapters she’s so certain he’s going to rescue her... it really frustrates me. Especially because Richelle writes him as self-flagellating over it, but Sydney immediately reassures him “oh, no, I just got the gas turned off, you couldn’t have really done anything...” as if those three or so days weren’t a big deal with the way the time crunch worked out later... it’s one of those heavy-handed things where I don’t feel like Richelle ever actually makes Adrian own up to his errors in the same way the rest of the main characters have to. Including: Wesley Drozdov and his motley crew show up again, and Adrian plays big hero and outs their dabbling attempt on Sydney, and then with Keith later on thinks to himself “at least I’d taken no for an answer from girls” as if he hadn’t insistently pursued both Rose and Sydney (including the scene at Alicia’s Victorian inn in IS) and been revealed to have dabbled at least once. Like, good that he’s trying to make up for past behavior, but again and again it comes off to me as glib or insincere (in the way it’s written- that he’s some model that is exempt from causing harm). This especially pisses me off in the way he treats his mom for sticking in a loveless marriage to his dad (did Adrian forget about his mom’s affair with Ambrose btw?) for financial security, and even with the hypocrisy being pointed out to him and him begrudgingly admitting it in his mind, or he drags Nina to Sonya’s to try and get her compensated for her work and she’s all googly eyes at him, but his acts of chivalry feel empty. And this extends to Marcus, too, to a lesser extent. Look, I love Carly (all the Sage sisters mean the world to me) and I’m glad that she became an advocate for fellow survivors and I get what Richelle was trying to do in empowering survivors with Carly’s character, but Marcus’ star-struck admiration of her (being made speechless by her strength) felt weird and make me uncomfortable.

On to Sydney’s stuff, holy hell her side of the story is dark. And this conversion therapy nonsense in it is part of why I desperately want canon queer leads in the adaptation (preferably Sydney herself, which would yes mean Adrian and probably Rose... that’s my prerogative). Is that potentially triggering? YES. But Richelle took that step when she laid it on so thick with the allegory. In the meantime, I love the supporting characters that Richelle drew up to be in the center with Sydney. Emma, Duncan, and the rest (the fellow detainees- not Sheridan... she can burn) and I want more of them (seriously, Richelle made some great underexplored groups with the Unpromised, the Keepers, the Merry Men, and then these additional Rebelchemists). There is a weird mention of Sydney having arranged some supply closets on one of the floors, despite whatever scene she did that in seemingly having been cut (there was also a line Rose ascribed to Victor at the end of Last Sacrifice about sending Jill away, so it’s not unheard of). When I first read the book (with a long break before), the degree to which Sydney was using magic in there felt illogical, but rereading directly from the other books, it is more justifiable. I think the Detainment, and Sydney’s struggles there, is some of the best writing Richelle managed in the books, and I don’t have any changes to that part.

But the escape... is actively worse than I remember it. There are glimmers of some great stuff in there- I mentioned in the last post how much I love when Sydney wakes up Hopper and sobs over him, and that still is powerful. But omfg Sydney (and Adrian) hold up the stupid stick so many times in these chapters. To be clear, first-off: Adrian should have gotten blood before they ever went into the desert. In the worst case, he and Eddie (the night before the infiltration) should have gone off to the side and done a feeding (doesn’t have to be Eddie, since I imagine he actually has a bad reaction to them since FB, but it does have to be someone willing). Eddie would have enough time to recover, especially with adequate food. Setting that aside, the actual events of the escape work for me. So I guess it’s more the after. Sydney and Adrian should have driven straight to Las Vegas (if they wanted to stop in the other town and change clothes and switch cars that’s fine with me- I even like the senior citizen tour they were on; p.s. we never learn if the Ivashkinator was shipped back to Palm Springs or anything, which is very surprising to me). Their decision to stay in a hotel overnight, even as much as Sydney did deserve that kind of relaxation, was stupid beyond belief. I would have preferred they got to Vegas, were spotted by Alchemists but made it to the Witching Hour without issue, and then Adrian got them a room, and that was the point where Sydney relaxed and slept. Consolidate some of that. Let Sydney have her luxury bath, and a haircut from Adrian, and other stuff there. Let her mention to him that the first photo she saw of him was taken near there, and hey, did he know Rose had bought a car in Russia that Sydney loved. And when Adrian goes down to make some money to further their escape, that’s when he realizes they’re being watched- there are too many yellow and orange auras. Let them have a less exorbitant wedding than in the book- no ridiculous mermaid dress that Sydney can’t expect to move in and that is ridiculously expensive (she can still have a beautiful stunning white dress). Let her start with the blue sneakers. Let Adrian find a place to get the ring made, if that’s necessary (or just use the dang cufflinks as are for the time being and pin them to the fancy attire). And Jill sends the chopper directly to the Firenze for an “Italian” wedding. They can still have the showdown with Sheridan on the roof- just simplify everything.

And then when they get to Court- let Sydney do more of the talking. Let her (righteously) call out the conditions in the reconditioning- the torture because she showed empathy to Renee who couldn’t even eat on her own, the torture they inflicted on Emma to break her- she didn’t betray her own kind, the Alchemists are repeatedly betraying their own kind, pushing them into the darkness of an empty hole. Oh, and this necklace around her neck, that Sheridan took for her own before Sydney reclaimed it, the morning glories were painted by the man she loves. And she rejects the Alcehmists having any authority on her. She’s a witch of the Stelle coven; she’s Sydney Sage Ivaskhov damnit. And when her dad tells her that if she doesn’t come with them, these will be the last words she ever gets to say to him? She gets to ask him if he knew what happened to Carly, if he let it happen under his own roof because he wanted a son like Keith more than the daughters he was blessed with. I want Sydney arguing her case, having her real communion. I said the same for Rose and Spirit Bound, and Sydney deserves the same here.

p.s. there are a lot of structural parallels between this book and BP/early SB- Sydney’s reeducation being like Rose’s time in Novosibirsk, the Tasarov escape from SB (which Eddie directly mentions) immediately followed up with a Vegas trip

Ruby Circle

Dang it. Look, I no longer hate the idea of Sydney and Adrian raising a kid. Their ending in RC was a lot better built-up (and a lot less bitter for Sydney) than I thought the first time. But the road to get there...

I hate the Jill being kidnapped by Alicia part (and I don’t buy the Warriors working with her). Honestly, just let them deal with Alicia during the events of Fiery Heart (when next to nothing else is going on). Like, Adrian and Sydney come off really badly in my head for “causing” her kidnapping because of a personal vendetta against them, when they came there to protect her in the first place (I realize the actual fault was with Alicia, but the feeling stands). Also the pointless scavenger hunt leading them from Pennsylvania (so conveniently, even though Alicia would have had to go there to set her traps after abducting Jill in the first place?) a month after the fact to whatever castle (then to Michigan) then to Palm Springs and the infiltrating the Warriors mission... it’s all too much (also I refuse to believe Sydney cast those stinging demons... that’s so dangerous I can’t even). Given the introduction of the Stelle in FH, and the unnecessary Malachi stuff, it works better to do that all then anyways. (I still want Jackie involved somehow of course) Instead of sidelining Angeline at Amberwood, she should get to be involved in the hunt for Jill (same as Eddie was for Sydney).

In other parts... Wesley Drozdov was never a good character. I really didn’t need even a mention of him in this book. I also... don’t buy how stigmatized Adrian was for marrying Sydney. I can see it being a scandal, or a laughingstock, the source of snarky asides and derision, but Richelle never built it in VA or the earlier BL books to being as heinous as she then tried to make it (so that Adrian could feel suffocated by Court, just like Sydney). I would have been much more interested in trying to see Sydney blend in, and take a stand in the Moroi world (and seeing her try to ally with nonroyal Moroi, but that also still not going super smoothly because they don’t like being on the same level as a human), and maybe her trying out her magic with the Moroi fighters that Mia and Christian had formed (that beautiful, blessed little moment), and then if it integrating there didn’t work admitting that it just... wasn’t going to. Rather than not even trying.

I understand that Richelle was building up with Adrian’s fears of completely losing it with Nina, but she just got screwed over in both of these books. (We’re acknowledging that it was wrong of her to kiss him in SS when he wasn’t even conscious, and moving on). And then Olive got screwed. And Neil got screwed. I said before that I don’t mind Sydney and Adrian raising a kid. But I mind a whole heck of a lot that Richelle killed (essentially) Nina and Olive both (in bullshit, tragic ways) and then wrote Neil off so that Sydney and Adrian would have to raise a baby. Let Sydney be pregnant. Let her be recovering from the most traumatic event of her life, she and Adrian forewent protection on their hectic honeymoon/escape, she’s going to be a mom to a Dhamphir and wow that’s going to be weird for her... and meanwhile this allows her to get through to Olive. To promise Olive and Neil that Sonya and everyone else will not use their baby as a test tube. Nina can still go up to the brink (maybe she passes it and the spirit trio of Lissa, Sonya, and Adrian have to heal her), there can still be a Strigoi attack at the Refuge in northern Michigan, but ffs cut the crap treatment of those three to pass on a readymade kid to Sydrian. It is a trope that I loathe. I also dislike the “ohmigod” fangirl characterization of Mallory, and while the Rand stuff was better than I remembered (that is to say, he is terrible and everyone acknowledges that and no one makes light of it the way I misremembered), I could do without it (especially since I’d prefer that if they keep Dimitri and Adrian cousins, they addres it much earlier).

Honestly, I would do the following:

the start of the season for RC (which doesn’t match its name??) has Sydney and Adrian locked down at Court and they can’t help like they want to, so they try to adapt and do what they can there, including Adrian trying to get Nina to calm down; their friends from Palm Springs and Marcus team up altogether and get an infiltration squad with the Warriors of Light; Eddie gets to participate; they rescue Jill, and get some of the data on the Alchemist/ Warrior collaboration

the Moroi Court finally gets into action on the age and family laws in earnest; meanwhile, Sydney is helping carve out a niche for the rebel Alchemists to work with the Moroi, especially for Strigoi hunting groups like what Mia and Christian wanted to organize; Jill and Sydney are helping each other emotionally recover from their respective hostage ordeals; Sydney realizes she’s pregnant, which helps Adrian realize in a dream with Olive that she’s pregnant, and finally sees her location marker

it’s “rescuing” Olive time; Neil gets to go too- with his presence, things don’t all go to shit; there is a Strigoi attack in retaliation for the new hunting groups, but heroes persevere and protect the commune; the data on the Alchemist/Warrior collaboration, and the Rebelchemists work with the Moroi, gives the perfect leverage now to get the Rebelchemists their freedom and establish Sydrian’s future together

SO, after rereading Bloodlines

I dislike Sydrian less than I did, though I still think Adrian could be vastly improved if adapted as a woman

the second half gave Eddie more to do, but still not enough emotional focus on him

man Amberwood and its supporting characters disappeared; I get that Adrian isn’t likely to settle in California long term, but can I please get more resolution to those characters, whether it comes from more focus in IS, or a graduation ceremony or something?

Abe also disappeared which is strange

man, Sydrian have a lot of daddy issues. because their dads are both abusive jerks. but why oh why did Jared end up collaborating with the Warriors for tattoos? was it because of anger over ‘losing’ Sydney or just greed? I’m glad that Zoe and Sydney at least started to heal things, and that Zoe is ok where she is

we still never got answers on who restored Lee... Clarence only showed up for deus ex machina money and shelter and I guess blood (did Marcus ever get to speak to him again?)

minor grievance: Richelle described the Warrior recruits as being almost evenly distributed between men and women, with a slide toward men, before two pages later saying there were 30 potential guys and 13 potential ladies, and remembering that, oh, yeah, the Warriors didn’t really use women on the front line; I don’t want any of that subplot adapted I just... editing?

#DoBetterByOliveAndNinaAndNeil2030 (who gets to name their kid Declan?), #LetSydneyUseHerBeautifulBrain

[botwstoriesandsuch]

P-please talk about your Rito OC, please... ramble without any context, please... I have one too... please make me feel less alone...

Ok ok let me just *unloads all of Illeka’s super angsty self-indulgent backstory*

I technically have two backstories, one for botw that I’m gonna use for my fic Where Time Takes Us, and another I use for my dnd campaign. My dnd one is more fleshed out (thanks to my amazing GM) so I’ll probably just share that one. 

Warning for super duper long post that is barely coherent and I haven’t checked for typos and also rip to ADHD folks because I have no pictures to ease your brain with. Anyhow prepare for like thousands of words worth of rambles this is not edited at all

This is just a copy paste of the random incoherent shit I sent to my poor DM. Anyhow, I technically have 3 ocs here, but Illeka is the one I play

A weird Rito, that one is. I hear they’ve only cried at birth...

- Illeka was born on the Day of Living Fire, its a celebration of the dead essentially, where you mourn and remember your loved ones and ancestors and all that. It’s superstition to be *born* on this day, because your life/creation takes away from the day that’s supposed to honor the dead, and some people on birb island believe these things, that if you let the kid live it’s a curse. But most people are like no wtf you boomers it’s fine there’s no such thing you crazy old people are weird, which to be fair is kinda true.

- When Talako is around 6, his single mom dies. He’s adopted by a new family, Kala (also around 6 years old) and her parents.

- Illeka meets Talako after he kinda follows her around, because he’s an innocent cinnamon bun that admires Illeka’s calm and stoic demeanor after they help him with some bullies. Through this, Talako, Illeka, and Kala all become best friends.

- The events in Illeka’s life aren’t really helping their whole curse case. Every bad event, from their dad getting injured and having the slightest limp, to their brother, Zekk nearly setting himself on fire— it’s all a supposed punishment for not killing them when they were bored. But at this point most people brush it off as coincidence, besides, nothing THAT bad has happened yet.

- the trio of friends grow strong, becoming some of the best in their arts on the island. And their relationship is seemingly adorable. The serious ~~cursed~~ one, the optimistic sunshine one, and the sarcastic firey one. Prides of their village, set to protect their people from harm.

- Illeka is the best in the village when it comes to physical fights. Trusty halberd, and a keen shot with a bow, they’ve never lost a sparring match on that front. Their personality is offputting to some, there’s a rumour that they’ve never cried. The easiest of jokes, and the vilest of insults don’t spark much reaction from them— except in the presence and topic of their family, Kala, and Talako. But otherwise, the story goes that the cursed kid doesn’t have a soul, and hence, no morality or emotions.

- When they train with Talako and Kala, they never back down, if only out of respect, Illeka wouldn’t want to embarrass them with pity. Talako always laughs at his inevitable defeat, though he tries nonetheless. He promises that one day he’ll be strong enough to beat them.

- Talako is a pleasant soul, but has an nack for adventure and a hint of chaos. He prefers to dual wield daggers, and on occasion a short sword or two. He’s great with the blade, loves the thrill of the fight, but is more skilled with cooking and physical healing and remedies. He’s always the one encouraging fun celebratory hang outs at the tavern, with his two closest friends after a day of guarding the village. Kala always sides with him, and Illeka typical gives in after at least putting on a show of reluctance. He humble and happy and loved by most of the village, if only things would last

- Kala is of wit and cunning, she’s typically the first to speak. She’s headstrong and not afraid to insult whoever she displeases, and a bit too arrogant in her abilities. She laughs at all of Talako’s jokes, if perhaps only to spite Illeka’s groans. She’s also the most strategic of her friends, being the “one with a plan” in battle. While she’s a decent wield of two khopesh, Kala’s mostly gifted with magic. She’s got a knack for conjuring, though is well researched in other types as well. Illeka and her are an even match, with decent win ratios on either end. Illeka doesn’t take it that personally, they suck/hate magic after all. Kala’s a bit more competitive tho.. While her power in magic is certainly the best on all of the island, she can’t help but feel salty/jealous for always being overshadowed by Illeka’s feats, since the people prefer/understand the physical over the magic.

- Oh, and she was born on day after the Day of Living Fire, according to her parents. How lucky.

- In a sense, they’re all a bit of an outcast. Kala the fiery independent one, a bit sidecasted for prefering magic over steel. Talako the weird orphan, for being a chirpy, happy boi, which is a bit annoying for some. And Illeka…well lets just say their situation isn’t going to be improving

- One year, Illeka’s family is expecting more kids, twin sisters at that! It’s the most excited anyone’s ever seen Illeka, thought perhaps that’s not the right word… They’ve still got their usual demeanor, but they did spend nearly a week crocheting little baby hats and tunics and scarves. They threatened to kill their brother if they told anyone, although Zekk was allowed to let it slip to Tal and Kala

- [They are absurdly good at crochet btw. They never do it anymore to try and maintain their “reputation,” but their family will never forget the time they crafted matching blankets and hats to win a little competition in their home town.]

- Then the Day of Living Fire arrives for that year. Theres a little celebration for Illeka’s birthday, before moving on to other activities.

- The twins die that night.

- The village was in a bit of shock…and rumours grow considering the timing of it. The mysterious circumstance of it…well it does turn the heads of even some of the less-superstitious. The rumours, the death, the silent thought that perhaps that cursed bird caused some babies’ death, Illeka endured it.

- Years later would it get worse.

- Illeka is still publically respected at this point, weird rumours sure, but try telling that to the edge of her halberd. Their mother had made the twin’s shrine, but they say Illeka didn’t visit that often. Talako was always by their side, trying to help them, which was always appreciated, even when they tried to hide it.

- Kala was busy in the library these days.

- Zekk had started a family by now, a little baby birb named Mili hatched into the world.  Illeka would often steal her away for little cuddles when they (thought) no one was looking. Zekk would jest that they had to fight for the right to hold his own kid. Kala would also occasionally tease them about it, though Tal was mostly happy to see them in better spirits

- Then, another Day of Living Fire.

- Talako and Illeka were usually on guard duty together, the northern patrol by the village edge. But tal was still a bit worried about his friend’s state of mind, he’s not sure he’d even seen them mourn. He pushes for Illeka to take the day off, it’s technically their birthday after all, plus they can pay their respected at the shrines and attend the festivities and do the ceremonies and all that. Illeka denies it, brushing it off like they always do.

- Soon, their nightly patrol begins, and Illeka is about to set off to met up with Talako, but Kala intercepts. She has a talk with them, similar to that of Talako’s, but with…more well crafted and laced words. It’s nearly the same message that Talako tried to tell them, “It’ll be healthy for you, visit the shrines, be with your family, maybe brush off some rumours in the process.” Illeka nearly denies again, joking that Talako would get afraid of the dark if they didn’t show up. But Kala interjects, stating that she’s already made plans to take the patrol that nigth with Tal. Trusting their friends to be safe in each others care, Illeka relents and takes the day off.

- …yeah. so

- perhaps you can see where this is going.

- Kala’s jealousy had been growing over the years. Not only was she being shadowed by Illeka and their non magic ways, but it was irritating even more that all the talk about magic in the town was not of her exceptional abilties, but of stupid rumours and non-existent evil curses. If the people wanted show, she’d give them a show

- This mindset made her spars with Illeka a bit more personal as of late, getting it in her head that she needed to get stronger, strong enough to best Illeka with ease. Strong enough so that there would be no question who was the best warrior on the island, magic, bows, halberds, or no.

- The library had many forgotten books that she had been studying. Conjuring, rituals, illusions, necromancy. It was all…beautiful. Kala soaked in every word, sometimes berating the bookkeeper offhandedly for not keeping them in the best condition

- In her research she eventually found a beast. A..thing, a demon? A monster, the specifics weren’t there, but the gist of it was, if you had the courage to summon it, it would grant you the knowledge for attaining anything you desired. All it asked in return was…to eat some people.

- But not just any people mind you! Supposedly the ritual only worked for the people with the greatest of ambitions, willing to sacrifice the lives of people they might care about. The sacrifices had to be of someone with great trust and bond with the person.

- Kala’s parents disappeared that day, a few feathers laid about, but there was no blood.

- Near the northern border, by a open field, a weird circle dripped the grass red

- Talako waited by the village edge, ready to fly off with their patrol partner when they arrived. When Kala greeted him, he was a bit surprised, but happy when she explained that Illeka had gone off back to town.

- Indeed Illeka was with their family now, as the sun started to set. Occasionally, a passerby would give them a weird glance before walking swiftly away.

- Somewhere in the northern border, a warrior is knocked unconcious, and dragged upon a blood red pattern

- Illeka is by her sisters’ shrine. For the sliver of a moment, they contemplate crying.

- Then an explosion is heard off in the distance

- Talako was wide awake at this point, although his wings being pinned to his sides wasn’t that helpful considering there was a giant, *giant* dark monster in front of him.

- Kala lets off a final remark, saying it was for his own good. The death would be swifter if he didn’t squirm.

- He whipped back at her, glaring with a fire she hasn’t seen before. He calls her a coward for tricking Illeka, a coward for kill their parents, a coward for not even giving him the decency to fight for his life.

- She nearly smiles at the last remark. “Fine.” She tosses him his blades. “You were never much of a warrior anyway.”

- Illeka was flying towards the booming sound at full speed, nearly knocking over their family and other mourning, people in the process. A few others had tried to slow them down, claiming they should suit of better first, before confronting whatever had been the source of the explosion. Illeka didn’t listen.

- They barely had time to grab a weapon, before approaching the northern border. After gracing the crests of the hill tops, they finally saw it. A giant demonic beast, snapping it’s jaws against a flying dash of black feathers, Talako.

- Illeka called out to him, nearly dashing off into the air again, but they stopped when they spotted Kala, standing idlely by next to her.

- Before they could even speak, before they could even question why she was acting so nonchalantly while their best friend was fighting for their life against an evil monstrosity, Kala shook her head and spoke. “You always have to ruin my fun, don’t you?” She struck a magic blow and Illeka, square in the chest.

- It knocked them to the ground, but they got up, setting their halberd and pointing it at them.

- Then insert some dramatic scene where Kala is like “you’re so selfish, hogging all the attention, thinking you’re better than me, but today I’m gonna finally best you mwahaha” and Illeka is like “wtf why did you do this? I thought we were friends? I trusted you?? the fuck? also talako is our friend!!?” and then its “yeah thats right I manipulated your stupid feelings to gain the upperhand. you’re super pathetic honestly for falling for it. anyhow yeah talako will probably die, i tried to give him the luxary of a swift death but he wouldn’t listen, so now he’s probably gonna get brutally slayed lol” and illeka is all “I’ll kill you” and kala is “no u. This whole thing is gonna give me so much power no ones gonna question me again” and then they fight each other

- The duel is nearly a draw, Kala’s magical ability is certainly is certainly stronger, but she’s not as all powerful without that knowledge from the demon monster guy that needs to eat his meal. Illeka is fighting with all theyve got, but all they brought was a halberd, but they are very fueled by rage and spite so it’s still an even match. Illeka eventually lands a blow that’s got Kala bleeding severely, but Kala pretty much almost kills them with a direct attack. Kala’s too weak to finish the job, plus those other guards have finally started to fly and approach in the distance, so she flys off. Illeka finally slips into unconsciousness.

- When they wake up, it’s almost sunrise. Their mom is shaking them awake, part of the party that was investigating the explosion that summoned the beast. Illeka bolts up, they’re still in the field were they had fought Kala, but she and the beast are no where to be seen.

- They run off, trying to find Talako, and ho boy do they find him alright. His body is crumpled by some rocks, his wing nearly ripped clean off, theres so much blood, even a warrior like Illeka can hardly bare it. Some small bit of hope in their head thinks that he might still be alive, and they listen to his chest to see if he’s still breathing.

- His eyes flicker once at Illeka, his chest rises, then falls for the last time.

- Illeka cries.

- Then, still pretty wounded and tired, they collapse again

- The days following are living hell. Kala hasn’t been found, and their her parent’s [bodies]. The rumours are creeping as ever, at the coincidence of Illeka and this disaster. They spend nearly a weak in bed at home, recovering physically, thought probably not mentally.

- As soon as they’ve fully recovered, Illeka’s mind is set. They are going to leave, no more warrior/village protection for them. They’re going to travel far off, train and hone their skills in combat, and find and kill Kala.

- Their family is opposed to this at first, but in the end nothing they say changes Illeka’s mind.

- In a sense, there was another, unspoken reason Illeka was leaving the islands. They didn’t want to hurt anyone else.

- Hell, the rhetoric is even stronger down the line, concerning the fate of poor Mili. Illeka has given in and accepted it, they are cursed to cause pain to the people they care about. [It’s basically that trope of the character isn’t actually cursed but they believe they’re cursed] Illeka will stay away, and go it alone for as long as they can. Then once the deed is done, once they draw Kala’s corpse across the mud, they’ll probably fly off somewhere far to die, before anyone else gets hurt. It’s probably best for their family never to see them again.

- - - - - - 

Wow you did it, you made it through the super angsty self-indulgent backstory congrats. Illeka is my lil baby and I love them and I’ve gonna send them on a revenge quest and then they were gonna have a cool character arc probably about learning to grieve and have self worth and all that and to actually allow themselves to show emotions for once in their lives. That’s the general plan I had in my head anyhow

But you know what my dm thought?

They were like how about mORE ANGSt

Fucking shit you not, session three of the campaign, I’m heading back to birb island because of circumstances, and I’m getting supplies from my blacksmith dad and showing off this sword that says “fuck” a lot that I got from a dungeon that took a selkie’s soul which they gave up willingly in exchange for fire hair...long story

but THEN I meet up with my bro Zekk and it’s like “wassup bro just passing through” but then I find out that Talako’s shrine thing was DESTORYED by some unknown entity and that’s very not good because spirituality and all that

and also I find Mili and they’re a cute lil toddler birb now aww it’s so great hope nothing happens to them because I sure do have enough emotional traume to burden right now. anyhow due to CIRCUMSTANCES our only lead to the thing that destroyed Talako’s shrine is 1) a delinquent named Chesio [that our party nicknamed cherrio because the GM misspelled it the first time i think] who apparently was Talako’s shitty cousin and his only living relative who could build his shrine and 2) the destruction of the shrine lines up with a period of time where Mili went missing but its ok she came back so her parents were like “chill we gucci”

Our party decides we should go down the Mili lead [because I accidentally knocked Cherrio i mean Chesio to near death with a crit roll with my halberd so they’re in the infirmary now but it’s really not my fault that they triggered my emotional trauma by mentioning how I keep running away from grief and never staying around to confront it it’s fiiiiiiiiiiiiine] so we stop by Zekk’s house and we’re like “hey so remember when you disappeared for like a week where did you go, and then mili was like “oh it’s in this cavern that no one knows about and I can’t really give you the directions but I can lead you there if you take me with you” in which I then glare at the GM for this obvious attempt to force us to take Mili with us to put her in danger and apparently I was the ONLY one who cared about this because everyone else in the party was ready to adopt this birb child, and Zekk was like “sure take the kiddy harness” so here I am, watching my niece run around in a kiddy harness that’s also attached to me, while my Chaotic neutral party someone gets grilled cheese sandwiches in the background

Badabing, badaboom, we come to some crystal caverns. while I, being one of the only members of the party with morals other than one chaotic good dragonborn, am watching the selkie, halfoot, and elf girl steal a bunch of crystals, Mili fucking DISAPPEARS the fucking KIDDY HARNESS fucking NOT GOOD she FCUKING SLIPPED OUT AND SHES GONE AND IM FREAKING OUT 

after about an hour or two of searching through the deeper parts of the cavern and tunnel and also fighting a minotaur and discovering an abandoned arena and a cleric, long story. We find Mili fucking laying on A NECROMANCER’S RITUAL CIRCLE WHAT THE FU- 

I pull a “I don’t hesitate bitch” on the hooded dude that’s hovering and chanting shit. He’s dead, it’s all swell. Saved the day, the evil’s dead. Mili’s fine she can go back to being a cute lil baby who loves shiny rocks and-

oh wAIT actually Mili is still transformed into a demonic monster and the necromancer dude was actually in the middle of completing a ritual to bring her back to life after he killed her a few times

So turns out, necromancer dead dude was hired by a mysterious someone, to steal something from Talako’s shrine, and to destroy any evidence. Turns out, his methodology for doing so was to kidnap some birb kid who had the misfortune of wander too close, killing them, turning them into some demonic monster that does their bidding, using that monster to steal and ruin some shit, and then when the day’s done he turns them back like nothing happened. Sure do wish he was alive to redo that last part

I’m freaking out, the party’s freaking out, that sword from earlier is cursing to high heaven for no apparent reason. Cleric unhelpfully remarks how it was a bad idea that we impulsively killed the evil dude bro, yes wow thank you for the help

Eventually everything’s fine. After a few round of shouting “NO ONE TOUCH MY FUCKING NIECE OR YOU DIE” after said demonic niece is kinda mindlessly attacking everyone, we eventually do some good ol blunt force trauma and a bit of magic and BOOM. Mili’s back. Although they do have permanent black ritual markings on them but its fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinee (its not)

We find a note on necromancer dude bro that his employer was from another island, so that’s a lead yay Find Out Next SessionTM but at this point I really don’t care as I’ve already started tying Mili to my chest and walking back to the village

I go back to Zekk’s house, hand off Mili, explain everything that happened, give a super heart feel apology about how I pretty much killed Mili (even though I really didn’t but also as we all know Illeka is an angsty birb who’s steadfast in the idea that their existence hurts everyone they love so yay <3) and then I leave as fast as I can before anyone can protest sure was nice visiting my family after i’ve been away for a few months sure am glad that my inner thoughts about staying away weren’t justified whatsoever hmmmmmm

A session or two passes. We try to assassinate and elf’s evil parents and fail, we get into a Fake Dating Being Someone’s Children Au with a dragon. The selkie keeps trying to date everyone, even thought they’re already married to a necromancer princess and a boat (long story) and inbetween we head to that island that note i got was talking about and turns out it was to a place where all your inner demons and anxieties manifest into reality and taunt you, until youre slowly broken down to the point where the evil dictator on the island can “magic” away your problems with puppet strings. fun for the whole family!

Anyways, after our party fights out evil neon-blue clones, I get a lead from dictator dude that the employer I’m looking for is a Rito that’s good with magic, and was last seen headed east, in the same direction we just came from. fun.a

So I’m kinda low on leads, other than the fact that theres a magic school in the east, but in between we have to deal with the fact that husboat (again, the boat that is married to the selkie who is also our entire party’s form of transportation across the ocean. wait a sec did I mention that we weren’t in Hyrule? We’re not in Hyrule, this is a flooded land with a bunch of islands. Think wind waker) was being chased by pirates. also these pirates were the ones that raised the selkie, and also they kinda also slaughtered an entire island of halffoots in their time with the pirates, and also that island was the one that the halffoot in our party grew up in. So basically that’s some cool tension and drama. Anyhow, back to moi

One talk about how “no we cannot kidnap aNOTHER priest” to the selkie and elf later... magic school! Magic school is pretentious and I hate it. Everythings glowy, they don’t allow you to fly over the gates. There’s puffy noble middle aged men and children in bedazzled cloaks. There’s magic in the air and I swear I would choke and die on the glitter and rainbows of it all. 

Half the party is off getting into cloak fashion, I head off with my dragonborn friend Ness because highfive! We’re the only one’s with morals in this party! Morality pals! (This is saying something considering I am true neutral and she’s chaotic good but we might as well be clerics in this party...)

My morality pal and I and hanging around, then we catch word that there’s this transfer student that no one has seen in a while and “oh I wonder where she could be” and all that jazz from other students. Mortality pals are like “ok let’s go look for her” so we drag the rest of the party off of their larceny spree and look around.

Eventually, after I spot a tattered cloak roaming the halls that matches the description of the gossip, we find the transfer student.

TURNS OUT (unsurprisingly honestly given the way the dm framed stuff) this transfer student is someone I know. She’s standing there, in the middle of the room, preparing to do some ritual or something. She’s standing there, my life purpose, my one and only goal, literally the only reason I’m still going in life, my arch nemesis, my target, my mortal fucking enemy. It’s Kala.

Ness sees a demon dog in the background and says hi, ruining our element of surprise, but to be fair, she doesn’t know it’s Kala. 

Kala whips around from her table thing. We make eye contact. Her face suddenly shift from confusion to surprise to bewilderment to shock to happiness. 

Happiness.

“Illeka I thought you were dead!” Kala runs towards me, but I’m too shocked to move.

She’s smiling. It’s not sadistic, it’s not...harmful, it’s just genuine joy. For a moment I thought I saw a tear in her eye. 

Kala hugs me for a long moment, before letting go. “So how did you survive?”

...

In my head I’m thinking, “oh you fuck face”

THE. AUDACITY. OF. THIS. BITCH. 

“HOWD I SURVIVE” UH NO THANKS TO YOU FOR ALMOST KILLING ME FOR YOUR STUPID RITUAL WHATEVER THAT KILLED TALAKO WTFFF

ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO PULL THE SAME TRICK AGAIN??? GONNA PRETEND TO BE ALL SENTIMENTAL AND NICE JUST TO TRY AND KILL ME LATER ON? HA OK OK

how about instead, I do the one good thing, the one worthwhile thing I can do in my entire life...just one simple course of action that might hope to make up for the mountain of regret that is my entire existence. 

I am finally going to kill you.

Kala’s staring at me, eyes curious, head tilted as if all she ever did was ask what I had for brunch. 

I blink once, and my neutral expression, faintly coated with shock morphs into determination.

I roll for initiative. 

- - - - - - 

It’s 1am. 

So have a cliffhanger, kinda. 

If anyone bothers to read this far, congrats! Your reward is me being lazy. I’ll tell you what happened sometime tomorrow if anyone really wants to know :P Long story short, it doesn’t end how I, and therefore probably you, would except. 

[someoneoffthestreet]

Fruits Basket 2x08

“Kagura, when will you stop playing pretend love?” oooooohhhHOOHOO

Kagura’s mom has the good sense not to want her daughter anywhere near Akito. In this house, we stan good and loving Sohma parents. Kagura’s mom officially makes the list.

In which Kagura says what we’re all thinking deep down, and her mother has been having to deal with this Kagura’s whole life.

Tohru keeps trying to internally monologue but Hatori and Kyo ain’t having it.

Shigure and the audience want to know what Akito said to Yuki last episode. Shigure and the audience are going to have to hold their horses.

(I just made myself laugh. I’m tired, don’t look at me.)

Also Akito is denied further Haru privileges I have decreed it.

Tohru and Kyo’s first attempt at a sand castle is just as successful as every attempt I’ve ever made in my entire life.

“Does this make me your sempai?” “Sempai, you suck at this.”

Momiji: SCREW IT THIS IS A PRIVATE BEACH AND I’VE BEEN SPENDING THE TIME I SET ASIDE TO BE WITH TOHRU VERY MUCH NOT BEING WITH TOHRU THIS VACATION SUCKS AND I’LL HUG HER IF I WANT TO.

I love this moment between for many reasons, such as Yuki genuinely laughing like that, that was wholesome oh my heck. But especially because- Haru just spent his day locked in a room with Akito, who was sitting there telling Haru how “funny” Haru was and how he’s the laughingstock of the Zodiac. But here, Haru gets a genuine laugh out of someone he actually cares about, and it’s- worlds away from his time with Akito.

Yuki has Changed. It’s palpable. Everybody can see it. Everybody can feel it. He’s growing too powerful. Who will stop him.

RIN DARLING MY LOVE PLEASE DON’T WALK ALL NIGHT YOU ARE INJURED THAT’S BAD FOR YOU.

Villain Explains Evil Plot to Loyal Underling, Loyal Underling Innocently Pokes Glaring Hole In Evil Plot, the scene.

(But yes, please guess at how delighted I am that it’s repeated through the episode that Tohru isn’t alone because Kyo is by her side.)

“Is it fun to be with a monster?” .......Well, Kureno? Is it? (Sorry that was an easy one I’ll stop.)

Tohru to Kyo, not one minute later: “It’s more fun when we’re together!”

Cat Lore, Cat Lore! Every new piece we get about the Cat and its place within the Zodiac just informs us more about who Kyo is and why he’s the way he is. The story goes to great pains to show us that no Zodiac’s life is a picnic by any stretch of the imagination, but there’s something especially dire about the Cat’s situation, what with the second, monstrous form held at bay by a rosary supposedly made from human bone and the looming, ever-present promise that you’ll be locked up and thrown away at some point in your life. Yikes.

...Look, I don’t have very much to say about Kyo and Tohru’s time on the beach together, they’re ADORABLE and I LOVE THEM and these scenes hold a very soft and special place in my heart, ok?

Yuki spies on Akito and Kureno spying on Tohru and Kyo having a good time. Spy-ception.

Even nature wants Tohru to stop internal monologuing. LET HER SELF-REFLECT.

Rin: *transforms in front of Tohru* Tohru: uh-oh I’m reconsidering my sexuality.

I love this moment when Rin goes too far with Yuki. Like, in the manga I initially thought it was Rin kind of realizing that she crossed a line? But I’ve been finding lately that the anime has a way of making things hit me harder than they did in the manga, and there’s something about Yuki’s non-reaction- like Rin hit Yuki somewhere that should’ve hurt, and I’m not saying it didn’t, but Yuki doesn’t give Rin the reaction she was probably looking for and it clearly startles her? Idk, idk...

SHIGURE, I’M WITH HATORI ON THIS ONE, YOU’RE ENJOYING THIS TOO MUCH.

Spoilers under the cut.

Of course Rin has such a big problem with Kagura’s behavior towards Kyo. Rin knows better than most the damage love in pantomime can do.

"So Kureno, you’d better act as a proper Zodiac member. You’re substandard, so I’m worried.” Two things: First, obvious one being referenced to Kureno not really being a Zodiac member anymore, kill me. Second, how she talks about him is painful enough, but throw in the Tohru parallels and how at her dad’s funeral his relatives called her “plain” and how she was “no consolation” and now I’m FURTHER SAD.

I have so many thoughts and feeling about Kyo, I am that Jane Austen quote “If I loved you less, I could talk about it more.” Just, um! The careful construction of Kyo as a character! How he talks about the nature of sacrifice and how Kyo HIMSELF is kind of the sacrificial lamb of the Zodiac! Kyo sees the unfairness of him living his day-to-day because of the sacrifice of a human life long ago, but on the flip side of that is his own self-loathing and the thought of why HE deserves to live at the expense of others, even though others live at the expense of HIM, and round and round it goes. And add in that flashback to the aftermath of Kyoko’s death and Kyo’s failure to save her and AAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHH.

Rin’s rage after meeting Tohru! She tried so hard to avoid this meeting! She tried so hard and it happened anyway and she’s compromised! Just from that meeting she’s compromised! RIN DARLING DON’T DO THIS ALONE YOU DON’T NEED TO DO THIS ALONE.

Once again, I am not ready. I’m not ready. I think of that piece of the flashback we got this episode and that we’re going to get the FULL THING NEXT EPISODE AND “MY PRECIOUS...” AND I’M- I’M!!! GOODBYE FRIENDS I’LL SEE YOU ALL IN THERAPY.

[ofsinnersandsaints]

one night and every morning after

rating: E word count: 8058 chapter: 1/?

AO3

you know the trope 'i had a one night stand and the next morning found out they were my boss?’ This is like that but with whitelighters and witches featuring Harry and Macy

Macy walked into the bar downtown knowing everything was going to change tomorrow when she and her brand-new sisters would accept their responsibility as the Charmed Ones.

She was still dizzy with how quickly everything had happened, how her quite, solitary life had changed so completely.

One minute she was an orphan and a scientist, and after a single phone call from her mother’s friend, she was suddenly a sister and a witch. Two things she never thought she’d be.

Charity had explained what it all meant, and how it was a choice they’d have to make together. It had taken a minute for Macy to be convinced, but when she’d learned that by saying no she’d never get a chance to know her sisters the decision hadn’t been that hard.

But it had been for Mel, who was all set to change the world, make it better, take back the power – until she’d learned there would be sacrifices. It was possible for witches to have relationships, to live and long and happy lives with those they loved, but it was next to impossible with a Charmed.

Mel had argued, and Macy had understood why because her sister had a girlfriend whom she loved, but the Elder had patiently explained that being in a relationship with a Charmed One was a quick way to a painful death.

Anyone they were with could be used as pawns, a weak point to pull and manipulate them and they could never allow themselves to be manipulated.

Who they were, what they’d do, it was all too dangerous to involve people who couldn’t protect themselves against magic.

Doors had slammed, but in the end Mel had done what was right, even if it hurt.

Macy didn’t have to worry about ending a relationship because she’d never had one, but when she thought about what was coming there was a deep emptiness in her chest at all the things she’d missed out on. She didn’t was want to die – and she was beginning to think it was a very real possibility – without experiencing some of that.

Maybe she wouldn’t like sex, maybe the entire thing would be boring, but she wanted to know for herself. Which is why she’d dressed up to enjoy her last night of freedom.

A deep red dress and matching lips, she’d put on her kitten heels and go hunting.

Macy scrunched her nose as she took a seat at the bar. She didn’t like the idea of hunting, it sounded too violent and too predatory. Perusing, she decided as she eyed the people congregating in the trendy bar. She’d always liked shopping even if she’d hadn’t always had the money to splurge.

Before coming here she’d looked up advice on how to pick up people at a bar, but the suggestions were either incredibly corny, or verging on sexual harassment so in the end she’d ignored all the articles and figured she’d just go on instinct. She ordered a glass of wine when the bartender asked what she’d like to drink, and imagined this would all be easier if she felt sexual attraction.

She could see someone, get horny, and bam! The whole virginity thing – social construct or not – would be over. Instead she’d have to-

“Ma’am?”

Macy looked over to see a guy who was a handful of years older than her, but had a kind face and a phone in his hand. “Would you please make sure no one spits in my drink? I have to take a call outside.”

“What if I spit in your drink?” she asked, and was immediately startled by the fact she was flirting.

He laughed. “Then I deserve it for picking such an untrustworthy person to guard my fermented grapes.”

Macy grinned, “I’ll make sure no one defiles your drink.”

“Thank you.”

The man stepped outside and when Macy looked over to see where he’d been sitting she realized he had ordered the same drink she had. There was also a book sitting next to his glass and because she was nosy she couldn’t help but pick it up to read the summary.

It had interesting premise and because she had nothing else to do she flipped to the front of the book and started reading. It was less than five minutes later that the gentleman came back and laughed. “You’re reading my book?”

She held it up so he could see she had a finger between the pages. “Don’t worry, I saved your spot.”

“Am I going to get it back?” he teased, bringing the wine glass up to his lips.

Okay, that zing was definitely sexual. She shifted on her barstool and held the book out over the empty chair separating them. “Sci-fi, huh?” she asked to cover the fact she was just a tiny bit turned on by the mouth and the hand delicately holding the glass stem. He had really good hands.

He looked adorably guilty at being caught and explained, “I like fiction, but I can’t handle anything historical.” He paused and then added, “I can’t handle the inaccuracies.”

“I can’t handle most science fiction,” she rested her chin on her hand and gave him a smile. “I can’t handle the inaccuracies.”

His eyes went bright which Macy hadn’t expected. Most people were vaguely interested or outright bored with science. “You’re a scientist?”

Macy nodded, and felt a warmth in her chest, just behind her sternum and would love to have the chance to study it, write it all down to investigate it later. “I am. I’m a geneticist.”

She’d come out here for a reason, and she’d almost resigned herself to finding some horny post-grad student or lawyer, but wouldn’t it be nice to spend time with a slightly nerdy British man? Macy moved over to the empty seat between them. “Dr. Macy Vaughn.”

His grin was warm honey, and his hand felt steady when he shook hers. “Harry Greenwood.”

“Nice to meet you, Harry.”

He shifted a little so he was facing more towards her and Macy forcibly stopped herself from trying to remember everything she’d learned about body language from entertainment tv. If she started down that path, she’d overthink herself right out of this bar.

“What brings you out on a quiet Thursday evening?”

Macy made a calculated decision, and braced herself for a bad reaction. “I’m trying to get laid.”

He froze, wine glass halfway to his mouth. Harry carefully set it down on the bar. “I appreciate you not saying that while I was drinking.”

“It’s good wine, it would be a shame to waste it,” she quipped back, and hoped she sounded like she knew what she was doing. Confidence, fake it till you make it.

His smile suggested he hadn’t outright dismissed her. “Is there something in particular which brings you out tonight instead of tomorrow?”

“I’m starting a new job tomorrow,” she admitted, and maybe she shouldn’t play poker because as soon as she started kind of lying, she started fiddling with her glass. She picked up the wine and took a small drink. “It’s going to take up a lot of my time, so there’s not going to be a lot of opportunity going forward.”

“Now or never?”

Macy nodded. “Something like that.”

“Well then,” he braced his feet on the barstool’s foot rest and lifted himself off the seat to pull out his wallet. “I suppose now it is.”

She watched as he took out a twenty dollar bill and laid it on the bar between their drinks. “Oh.”

Harry’s head tilted a little as he looked at her. “Unless I misunderstood?”

“No,” she rushed to assure him. “I just didn’t think it would be this easy.”

His laughter was big and bright and made Macy smile in return. “I can play hard to get if that would make you feel more comfortable.”

“I’m good, thanks.”

Harry slid off his stool and held his hand out to Macy and after half a second of hesitation she accepted it and let the nice man lead her outside. “Wait.”

He stopped and Macy pulled out her phone and without giving him any warning she took a picture of him. “There, now it’s uploaded to the cloud, so if you kill me I want you to know you’re not going to get away with it.”

“Smart,” he nodded approvingly. “Your place or mine?”

She’d moved out of the Airbnd room this afternoon, so her place was a room at her sisters’ house. Her mother's old room. “Yours.”

“Good call,” he took three steps to the left and turned to a door tucked into the brick exterior.

Macy laughed. “You live above a bar?”

“It’s not a particularly loud bar,” he explained. “And there’s a lot of great places to eat nearby.”

“Good food is important,” she agreed and followed him up the stairs to a second floor which was split into two apartments. “Do you have a neighbor?”

“Yes, so if I do murder you someone will hear you scream,” he teased.

“Oh good.”

He let himself into his apartment and Macy follow him inside and was surprised at how empty it was. It was a single room with a nice couch and a big television, but no personal affects. There was only a box of books near the couch, and an open suitcase near the end of the bed proving anyone actually lived here.

“Did you just move?”

“A week ago,” he answered, hanging his keys on a hook by the door. “I’m starting a new job soon, but I don’t know how long it’ll last so I’m waiting to see how it goes before I get the rest of my things out of storage.”

Macy nodded but didn’t say anything, her gaze fixated on the bed.

She wasn't going to second guess herself – she’d made the decision, and she was going to go through with it – but she kind of wished she had any kind of relationship with her sisters so she could call them from the bathroom to tell them what she was doing.

“You didn’t get a chance to finish your wine downstairs, did you want a glass?”

Macy turned and saw he was watching her, and because she didn’t know what he could see she intentionally relaxed her face. “Yes, thank you.”

He walked into the kitchen area, separated only by a breakfast bar, and Macy followed as he reached into the fridge and took out a bottle of white wine and poured them each a glass. Harry held one out to her and she accepted it.

She took a drink as he moved to put the wine away, and something about the alcohol made her tongue a little loose. “I’ve never had sex before.”

He stopped and stared at her and Macy thanked the Gods – was she allowed to thank God now that she was a witch? – for the distance and the low lighting because hopefully it meant Harry wouldn't be able to see the blush she could feel warming her cheeks.

“Okay…”

“It just seemed like something you should know,” she said, the words coming out so quickly they nearly tripped over each other. “And I might be weird, so I thought you should have some context. For the weirdness.”

His smile was a little amused, and he walked towards her with an easy gait. She liked that he wasn’t a man in a hurry to get somewhere. She wondered where he got his calm from, it was like he had all the time in the world and no rush to get to where he was going.

As she took a drink of the cool wine, she wished she had some of that for her own.

“We don’t have to have sex, Macy.”

“No,” she put the glass down and rested her hands on his shoulders and realized for the first time they were matched in height. All she had to do to was lean forward just a little and she could kiss him. “I want to.”

Harry watched her for a second, his eyes dipping down briefly to her lips before returning his gaze to hers. “Why me?”

Macy wished she had a way to explain it, she could barely understand it herself. It was if she'd gone to that bar because she'd known he would be there, as she knew the right man was just sitting with a book waiting for her to show up. But she couldn't tell him that, he'd think she was drunk or out of her mind so she looked around the kitchen – or what little she could see past his shoulders – and saw the teapot on his stove. “You like tea?”

“I’m British,” he said by way of answer, his voice was dry enough it made her laugh.

“Have you ever come home from a stressful day and made a pot of tea and it was just the right thing in the right moment?”

“Yes.”

“You’re my cup of tea, Harry.”

“Well,” he shifted forward so he was nearly pressed against her, his hands resting on the counter so she was trapped. But she didn’t feel caged in, she felt protected. “How can a man be expected to say no to that?”

It was a dangerous thing to have affection for what would amount to a one night stand, but Macy could feel the emotion burrowing its way into her heart.

And then he kissed her and she knew she was lost.

It was just a press of lips, nothing particularly sexual, but his chest was pressed against her breasts and he surrounded her, and it took a moment for her to realize he was waiting for her to take the lead.

Macy could feel herself overthinking the moment, her mind racing about angle and tongue and if she'd be any good at it. Almost as if he could sense her nerve he ran his hands down her side and back up again, stroking her like a pet. Somehow, for some reason, it worked and she was able kiss him back.

She ran her hands down his arms and was surprised by the muscle she could feel hidden beneath the soft sweater. She shifted her head to change the angle, her hands following the lines of his arm, taking one of his hands and placing it low on her hip.

He easily followed her lead, his long fingers pressing into the curve of her ass, pulling her body closer to his until she felt the impression of his arousal against her pelvis.

It was if someone had flipped a switch inside her, the tiny spark in her veins turned into a full fledged wildfire. She slid her arms around him, “More.”

The hand on her ass slid up to her back, his other hand coming up to frame her cheek. His tongue slid along the seam of her lips and she opened her mouth to let him taste.

To taste him back.

His tongue slid along the inside of her mouth, a slow, languid thrust which was so erotic Macy clung to him just to keep from melting. Macy tentatively followed his tongue back to his mouth, sliding along his lips and tongue and the sound Harry made encouraged her until they were taking turns licking into one another.

“Christ, Macy.”

Harry’s voice was breathless, a little desperate, and while she’d never considered herself the kind of woman who brought a man to his knees in was nice to know she could.

“I want to touch you, Harry,” she whispered against his cheek as her fingers found the hem of his shirt. He let go of her just long enough to lift his arms so she could tug the sweater off and drop it on the counter behind her.

He moved to wrap his arms around her again but she stopped him with a hand on his chest because she wanted to get a good look at him. She was going to explain herself, but her focus was easily distracted by the smooth expanse of his torso. Macy ran her fingers along his chest, down his sternum, marveling at how warm he was. When she traced along his ribs he jerked beneath her hand, a quick sound coming out of his mouth.

Macy looked up at his face and saw an embarrassed smile at the corner of his mouth. “Ticklish,” he explained with self conscious chuckle. “Don’t tell anyone.”

She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck so they were once again pressed up against each other. Macy was half a second from putting his hands back on her but he beat her to it, his hands covering her ass and squeezing possessively.

“I promise,” Macy began, her lips a breath’s distance away from his. “Your secret is safe with me.”

She could feel his smile against her lips, “My hero.”

He kissed her for what felt like hours, his hands briefly touching her curved over the layers of clothing, and while she loved kissing him she wanted more. Macy pulled back and turned in his arms, but that didn’t deter Harry in the least. He brushed her hair to the side and pressed his mouth to her neck, his tongue and teeth and lips learning her. Every time she'd gasp or moan he'd go back to the spot which had made her react as if he was carefully mapping every pleasure point.

“Harry,” she managed to get out. “My dress.”

There was a moment of silence and Macy chose to think he was getting his bearings, and then she felt the delicious slide of the zipper down her beck. The knuckles of his hand bumped along her spine, the feel of his skin on her was almost more than she could handle.

Macy could feel when his fingers hit her bra strap, hooking around it and tugging slightly. “May I?”

“Yes.”

Harry unhooked her bra and Macy had a quick moment of self doubt. Frustrated with herself she pulled her dress down to her hips and when she took off her bra she set it down on the counter before turning around.

He didn’t touch her, but the way he looked her was almost a physical thing. “You’re fucking gorgeous.”

The curse coming from such a proper British man was a surprising turn on. “I’m not ticklish.”

Harry’s eyes went dark, “Duly noted.”

Macy held her breath, anticipation making her blood hot as he reached out to cup her breasts in his hands. His thumb brushed against her nipples, the hard buds tightening against the sensation. “Gorgeous,” he repeated, his gaze fixated on her breasts a second before he covered one of her nipples with his mouth. It was a hot, wet heat as his tongued teased her, his teeth a sharp contrast that had her moving against him.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured, his hand sliding down the curve of stomach to slip inside the silk of her underwear. She clung to his shoulders as his fingers found the slickness of her core, sliding against her with a wet friction she had used on herself in the past, but it was vastly different experience when it was someone else doing it. Her words were lost somewhere in her throat when he start licking and sucking on her other breast while his fingers teased her.

Macy didn’t know what to do with her hands, with her body, there was so much sensation she didn’t think her body could contain it anymore. She didn't want him to stop so she buried her fingers in his hair to keep him in place, but eventually his mouth made its way back up her sternum and neck until he could kiss her again.

This was not the proper, introductory kiss they’d started out with, or the sexy foreplay from before.

Instead, it was a dirty exchange of tongue and teeth and Macy was turned on she could have screamed when he pulled away to push her dress down to the ground. In what was possibly the most gentlemanly thing anyone had ever done for her, Harry picked up the dress and shook it out before laying it flat on the counter.

Her dresses wouldn’t have wrinkles when she put it on later.

“Come on, love.”

He took her hand and led her out of the kitchen and towards the bed and belatedly Macy realized she was still wearing her shoes and stopped long enough to kick them off. When they got to the bed Macy turned to kiss him again but he backed her up until her knees hit the bed.

“Lay down.”

Macy raised her brows, “Bossy.”

His grin was quick and charming and hit Macy right where she was hot and empty. “I promise, it’ll be worth it.”

“I have condoms,” Macy blurted out as she sat down on the edge of the bed. She was pretty sure the hot British stranger was about to go down on her, but when all was said and done she wanted him to fuck her and she’d come prepared. “In my purse.”

“Smart,” he gave her a quick, almost friendly kiss and went back to the counter where her purse lay and instead of going through it he brought it back and let her take the condoms out. Macy dropped her purse on the floor, put the condoms on the bed next to her.

“Now, where were we?” he asked, his eyes all but glittering with mischief. “Ah, yes.”

He went down to his knees in front of the bed, between her knees, and Macy resisted the urge to close her legs to his perusal. She knew she’d likely soaked through her underwear, but it didn’t matter because was pulling them down and she lifted her hips so he could take them off her.

“I do anything you don’t like, just say so,” he said, his full attention on her pussy before meeting her gaze with surprising seriousness. “And I’ll stop.”

Macy nodded, “Okay.”

“Now, lay down and let me see how many times I can get you to say my name.”

She laughed but did as told, shifting a little on the bed to get closer, then squealed when Harry pulled her towards him so her pelvis was at the edge of the bed.

And then he was tasting her.

But she couldn't stop thinking, couldn't stop analyzing everything that was happening. Was she enjoying this? What did she enjoy the most? Did she taste good? Did it matter if she did?

When nipped at the skin on the inside of her thigh. "I must not be doing this properly if you're capable of thinking quite so loud."

Macy covered her face with her eyes. "I'm sorry. I told you I was going to be weird."

He ran his hand along her leg, another soothing gesture. "It's not weird, I just want to make sure you're enjoying yourself."

"I am," she promised. "I can't turn my brain off."

"Watch me."

Macy's eyes widened, "What?"

"Watch me," he repeated and she couldn't help but do as he suggested. His head was wedged between her thighs, and he kept his gaze on hers as he flicked his tongue against her clit in a slow rhythm so she was anticipating each touch like the sweetest torture she could imagine.

It was so erotic, she stopped thinking completely.

“Fuck,” Macy hissed, her fingers fisting in the sheets as his mouth went to work on the most sensitive, private part of her. Jesus, there was no way all men were this good at giving oral, he was going to ruin her for every other guy.

His tongue teased her entrance, her clit, building the tension and want until she was desperate for a release. She shamelessly moved against his mouth, trying to get the pressure she was all but dying for. “So impatient,” Harry murmured against the skin of her thigh. His lips left a tiny trail along her skin.

She felt his finger against her, a light touch at first, and then the blunt end of his forefinger was sliding into her. “Harry.”

His finger slid into her easily, and her pussy automatically clenched around the single digit.

“You are so hot and wet,” he praised, kissing her hip, her stomach, wherever he could seem to reach while his finger worked her into a frenzy. “My cock is so hard, Macy. I want to be inside you so desperately.”

She wanted the same thing, but she knew what he was doing. Using his fingers would stretch her, get her used to being invaded in such a lovely way so when he finally filled her it would only be pleasure, no pain.

Macy moved against his hand, wanton and wanting. “Harry, please.”

“Tell me what you want, love. I’ll give it to you.”

She tried not to blush at using the words, he was finger fucking her for crying out loud, the words shouldn’t feel so dirty. “Another finger,” she told him. “And your mouth.”

Macy could feel the wicked smile against her skin. “My pleasure.”

He slid two fingers into her, keeping up the steady rhythm. She wanted it faster, but whenever she tried to speed up the pace he pressed his hand on her stomach to still her. It was the sweetest agony, especially when he pressed his mouth against her cunt.

He licked and sucked her clit, and when she cried from the orgasm he didn’t miss a beat.

Harry kept it up, thrusting his fingers in and out so she could hear the sound of her own arousal, the wet sound almost loud in the quiet room where the only other noise was their breathing. He drove her up again, and the orgasm this time was so quick and sharp she nearly screamed his name as she crashed and fell apart.

His gaze was hot on hers as he pulled his fingers from inside her. “That was by far, the sexiest thing I have seen in my life.”

Her thoughts were briefly distracted by the slickness still on his fingers. Her arousal, and what he did to her, evident down to his palm.

“What’s the verdict?” She asked, vaguely surprised she could form full sentences. He raised a single brow and she had the bizarre desire to brush her finger along the curve of his brow, a stupidly affectionate gesture which had no place here. ���How many times did I say your name?”

He laughed and it made everything light and warm inside her. “I lost count, but don’t worry, I intend to return the favor.”

“Oh?”

“By the end of the night, you’ll have lost count of how may times I’ve made you come.”

He said it like a promise, but the way her cunt clenched at the words, it felt like a warning.

Macy picked up the condom and carefully removed the wrapper. She looked up at him through her lashes, and saw he was already undoing his belt. “May I?”

“I truly wish you would.”

She set the condom down again and batted away his hands to finish undoing the button and zipper of his jeans, pushing them down his hips, taking his boxers with him. Macy was a doctor, and while not a medical one, dicks were not anything particularly new to her.

But this was Harry, and soon it would be inside her, and she wanted to take a moment.

“Can I touch you?” Macy asked, because it seemed polite to ask.

The muscles in his face were almost as tight as his voice when he nodded. “Yes.”

She brushed her thumb against his head, the precum sticking to her finger as she touched the length of him. Macy was careful with her nails, not wanting to hurt him, but she could tell by the unsteady breath of the man above her that she wasn’t hurting Harry in any way.

“If we had a little more time, I’d love to be in your mouth.”

Macy had the quick, erotic image of her tongue and mouth on his erection, taking him in and sucking him off. She wished they had the time as well, but this was one night and it was nearly over, so she took the condom and slowly rolled it on.

“Back on the bed,” he said, his voice taking on a dark, husky quality.

With a nod Macy moved further back on the bed, but didn’t lay down, instead resting her weight on her elbows so she could watch him.

He took his pants the rest of the way off, kicking off his shoes and socks before crawling on the bed towards her.

It might have been the hottest thing she’d ever seen.

When he kissed her she fell back onto the mattress, his body covering hers. She’d always pictured herself on top during sex, taking control, but as his weight settled on her and pressed her into the mattress she realized she’d been mistaken.

It turned out she liked losing control, enjoyed the feeling of floating along a river and being taken for a lovely, sometimes wild ride.

He kissed her like he had all the time in the world, his leg sliding between her thighs. As they made out Macy rode his leg, knowing she was getting her arousal all over his skin and not caring as the friction gave her some relief for the roiling need once again building up inside her.

His hands slid down her sides, her ribs, covered her ass and brought her tighter against him.

They couldn’t be any closer, Macy thought as she ran her hands over his shoulder and down his back. If they were, they’d be a single entity, unable to escape each other.

Harry sat up on his knees, and carefully moved Macy’s leg so he was between the v of her thighs. “Ready?”

Macy nodded and couldn’t help but touch him, her fingers tracing the lines of the muscle in his forearm. “Ready.”

He braced himself at her entrance, hands on her thighs as if worried she might get up and walk away. Macy couldn’t imagine being anywhere else on earth but exactly where she was.

Harry pressed into her, a slow movement which slowly spread her. When she could feel the tip inside her, she took a sharp breath. “Are you okay?”

Macy nodded, “More.”

“I have to go slow,” he told her, but she could hear from his voice doing so was difficult for him. “My fingers will have prepared you, but taking all of me is going to be a bit different. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Instead of answering, Macy took his hand and linked her fingers with his and impulsively kissed the back of it before resting their intertwined hands above her head on the bed.

Another inch and Macy gasped, moving against him, wanting to feel everything possible.

His hand tightened in hers as he shifted above her, resting his weight on his elbow. “Christ, Macy, you’re going to fucking kill me.”

“I’d rather you just fuck me,” she quipped back. She’d intended for it to sound like a tease but instead it came out a little breathless, revealing every bit of want building inside of her.

“I’d never refuse a lady.”

He slid almost completely out before moving back inside her, and the stretch was like nothing she’d ever felt before. Macy quickly caught on to the rhythm, raising her hips to meet him as he filled her a little more each time.

And then he was in her completely, she could feel his pelvis against hers, his breath hot against her throat. But he didn’t move again. It wasn’t a bad sensation, in fact it was almost erotic the way she wanted to move but couldn’t because the weight of him kept her still. “Harry?”

“You might not need a moment to adjust,” he started, taking in a deep breath. “But I do. You feel fucking amazing and I’m liable to make a fool of myself.”

Macy ran her free hand down the back of his neck, trying to soothe him. “I don’t mind.”

He laughed, a huff of breath, “I do.”

“You’ve given me more than enough pleasure, Harry.”

He raised himself up and looked down at her. “Can you take a little more, Macy?”

It might have sounded like a challenge or a dare coming from anyone else. But instead it sounded like an honest question, the kind someone would ask with their heart in their throat. “Yes, Harry. I can."

And then he started moving in earnest. The pace he set would have been brutal if Macy hadn’t been desperate for it. He no longer pulled out as much, keeping his thrusts short and quick enough Macy was barely able to keep up with him.

She let go of his hand, wrapping her arms around him to keep him close, and this time she paid no attention to her nails as they dug into his skin.

“Macy,” he murmured into the curve of her throat and she knew he was close to his end.

“Touch me, Harry,” she whispered into his ear. “Take me with you.”

He reached between them, where their bodies were entwined and found the hard little pearl of her desire and pressed down on it hard.

Macy’s entire body stiffened, her scream a silent thing as she climaxed so hard around him she could have sworn the entire room went bright with a white light.

Above her, Harry said her name as he found his own release and for a minute they lay there together, a slight sheen of sweat covering them both.

“Am I crushing you?”

Macy smiled against his cheek and shifted a little beneath him, her arms wrapped around his middle. She didn’t want to think about why she was so reluctant to let him go. “No, it’s kind of nice.”

Despite her answer Harry shifted a little, raising up on one elbow and it was nice to just look at him. His hands absently ran over her skin, and while it was no longer arousing it was incredibly intimate and that dangerous flutter in her chest took hold. “You know, when I went down to the bar last night I thought I’d get through the rest of my book, and maybe a couple glasses of wine.”

Macy smiled up at him. “Sorry for ruining your night.”

He laughed and gave her a kiss, “Hardly ruined, love. I’m never going to be able to pick up that book again without thinking about what it lead to. I’m going to use the bathroom.”

When he pulled out it was an odd feeling, but every muscle in Macy’s body was loose and warm. She could run a marathon or sleep for twelve hours.

With that thought Macy got up and went to the kitchen, feeling a little weird walking through a stranger’s apartment naked.

She paused at the sink, were they still strangers if they’d given each other orgasms?

Probably not, she decided as she found a glass and filled it with water. She drank half of it while collecting her clothes and putting her underwear back on.

“You’re welcome to use the bathroom if you want,” Harry said as he stepped out.

“Thanks,” she handed him the glass as she walked past him. “Hydrate.”

Macy used the restroom, freshened up as best she could and when she came out Harry had put on loose fitting pajama pants and was standing in the sitting area. They sat low on his hips and Macy took a breath in order to resist the urge to jump him.

“I hope the tea was to your liking.”

She grinned as she walked past him to grab her dress. “It was, thank you.”

His eyes were on her as she got dressed, she could feel the weight of them on her skin as she slipped on her shoes. “You don’t have to go, you know.”

Macy looked up, surprised by the suggestion, but immediately shook her head as she zipped herself up. It would have been nice to have him do it, but Macy didn’t trust herself. “I can’t.”

She walked towards him and stopped less than a foot away from. “If I don’t go now, I won’t go at all.”

“Hardly the worst idea.”

Her smile was soft as she leaned forward and kissed him. “I’ll see you around, Harry.”

He lightly pinched her chin between his thumb and finger and brought her back for another, longer kiss. “I’ll see you later, Macy.”

If only she’d known then how right he was.

Harry was distracted and staring at a wine glass when he should be getting ready to meet his new charges.

It had been a long time since he’d taken a woman to his bed. His job was dangerous, and required him to leave at a moment’s notice which was hardly conducive to romantic entanglements. And the idea of a one night stand had never particularly interested him.

And then Macy.

He’d seen her the moment she’d walked into the bar and had been utterly fascinated by her. She was dressed like she was there to meet someone, but her eyes looked all business as she took a seat by herself at the bar.

Harry had pretended to read as she watched her. She hadn’t checked her phone as if letting someone know she was there and he’d begun to wonder what she was about: a beautiful woman in a beautiful dress sitting alone in a bar.

Then Charity had called, and Macy had been so adorably awkward and funny he’d rather wished he didn’t need to step out and talk to the Elder who would be updating him on his new charges. He knew they were Marisol Vera's daughters, only one of which he'd already met.

He’d much rather have stayed and talked to the pretty brunette with the laughing eyes.

When she’d propositioned him, nothing had shocked him more and the idea of taking a stranger to bed suddenly had merit.

She kissed like an angel and had been wetter than sin.

And suddenly he was half hard thinking about her spread out on his bed. Frustrated with himself he grabbed his sweater felt a twinge from the marks Macy had left on his skin. He could have healed it easily enough, but for reasons he’d rather not consider he didn’t want to get rid of those last vestiges of her.

In the back of his head he heard three women say his name, and with a deep breath he orbed from his apartment to an attic on the other side of town.

He’d done this enough times he could orient himself to new places rather quickly and took in the cluttered space, Charity, Macy, Mel and the young woman who was likely Maggie.

Wait.

Macy?

His gaze slid back to hers and saw the same shock he felt written on her face.

Harry tried to remain composed, but it was a difficult thing to do when the woman who had screamed his name last night was standing in front of her looking as if she’d just seen a ghost. Meanwhile her sister yelled at him as though she’d like to throw him out the window.

Over Mel’s voice, Charity announced she’d let the four of them get to know each other and left, leaving him alone with the Vera-Vaughns.

“You know each other?” Macy asked, her eyes never leaving his.

“He’s the unqualified jackass took over mom’s position at the university,” Mel snapped. “And the bane of my existence.”

Harry didn’t take it personally and instead turned to the youngest witch whom he hadn’t formally met yet. She stepped forward with her hand out, immediately friendly. “It’s nice to meet you.”

He shook her hand but his gaze swung briefly back to Macy before returning to Maggie who watched him as if she saw more than he wanted her to. He cleared his throat and adjusted his tie which was still perfectly in place. “Apologies, it’s just not everyday one is in the presence of the Charmed Ones. It’s lovely to meet you as well.”

Harry looked back at woman who had her hands linked together in front of her.

“And you must be Macy,” he said as he walked towards her. He had no idea how she wanted to play this, but without the ability to speak with her telepathically he had to go on instinct. The fact she hadn’t immediately let her sisters know she knew him suggested she’d like to keep their night a secret as well.

“I am.”

Unlike Maggie, Macy didn’t step forward to shake his head and for that Harry was grateful. He didn’t think he’d be able to retain his composure if he touched her right now.

“A pleasure,” he gave them each a nod and tried not to hold Macy’s gaze too long. “I presume you all have been brought up to date on my role?”

“We scream for help and you show up?” Maggie asked and he appreciated her attempt at brevity when it was clear there was a little bit of worry in her eyes.

“Something like that, yes. I’ve also been around for a while so I’ve got a certain amount of magical knowledge you might have need of from time to time.”

“How old are you?” Macy asked as if she couldn’t help herself.

“Technically? I’ll be a hundred in a few years,” and he got a little kick out of the surprise on the women’s faces. “But I died when I was 37.”

“Died?” Mel asked, she sounded so concerned he was touched, especially since most of the time she wanted to murder him.

“It was a little thing,” he tried for a smile. “And it didn’t take.”

Maggie pulled out of her phone and read it quickly, letting out a noise Harry couldn’t quite decipher. “Kappa stuff,” she announced to the room. “I’ll be back later for whatever witchy stuff comes up. See you later, Harry.”

“I look forward to it.”

Mel let out a heavy sigh, “And I’m going to finish packing up Niko’s stuff along with all of my hopes and dreams for the future. Yay. Are you going to hang around for a while?”

Harry nodded and didn’t look at Macy. “I’m at your disposal.”

Mel snorted. “Weird, but I can get behind it. Do you need anything Macy?”

“No, I’m good thanks.”

With a nod Mel walked out of the attic and Harry was left with the woman he’d spent a memorable night with. And for someone who had been alive for almost a century, that was saying something.

She was watching him as she if couldn’t quite figure him out and, like he had the night before, he waited for to take the lead.

“You’re more formal.”

It wasn’t what he’d expected her to say, but then she was constantly taking him by surprise. “This is my job, Macy.”

“I’m your job,” she said it slowly like saying it out loud made it real.

“Yes.”

Macy shifted from one foot to another, and he could practically feel the nerves coming off her in waves. “Did we break any rules?” she asked.

She was completely covered from shoulder to toe, the only bit of skin he could see was at the v of her shirt, but in the bright light of day, in her mother’s attic, he could easily remember every bit of skin beneath. It was…distracting.

“Not technically.” Macy’s brows lifted and he stepped forward to explain, keeping his voice low in case anyone was nearby and might overhear. “Relationships between whitelighters and witches are forbidden by the Elders, but as neither of us were aware of the other’s profession when we met I imagine it would be forgiven.”

“Forbidden? That’s a strong word.” He didn’t say anything as he could see the pieces siding into place for her. She wasn’t a particularly expressive person, but it was in the eyes; Harry could see a whole world happening behind them. “It’s a conflict of interest.”

“Just so,” he nodded. “Can’t have a whitelighter playing favorites when lives are on the line.”

Macy crossed her arms and something about the gesture made him want to walk towards her and give comfort, but he wasn’t stupid enough to follow through on the gesture. “Okay, then.”

She said it with such certainty Harry wasn’t sure he understood. “Okay?”

“Okay,” she repeated. “It was always meant to be a one time thing, so it’ll stay that way. Probably shouldn’t tell my sisters though.”

“Why is that?” he asked as he fought the kneejerk instinct to be offended. “Are you worried they might think less of you?”

He adored the fact she actually thought about it. She took every question as a serious matter, and it made her one of the most honest people he’d ever met. Which was why it was a little odd she wanted to keep something from her newly found family.

“No, I don’t think they’d think any less of me but…” the words trailed off as she looked at him. “Last night was personal. Private.”

Harry couldn’t agree more, but the idea of never again while also looking at her every day was something he couldn’t quite wrap his head around. "In that case, I can take care of that for you."

"Take care of what?" Macy asked.

Suddenly feeling like a greenlad of 17 rather than 37 Harry swallowed and gestured vaguely at her. "You have a hickey."

Her eyes went wide and she moved to the dusty mirror hanging from a stud and moved her hair to see the barely noticeable bruise on her neck just below her neck. "Oh my God, I have a hickey." She turned back to look at him, but she seemed more shocked than angry which was a relief. "Do you think they saw?"

"I doubt it," he consoled. "I only noticed because I knew where to look. I can heal it."

Macy nodded and pulled her hair aside so Harry could put his hand an inch above her skin, the light pulsed briefly and the bruise was gone. "There. All better. And my apologies, I can't remember the last time I gave someone a bite mark."

She nodded and rubbed her hand over the spot he'd healed. She looked back at the mirror as if to make sure it was gone. "Is this why I went home with you?"

"I don't understand the question," he admitted.

"You're my whitelight," and the words were as odd for him to hear as they must have been for her to say. "Is that why I felt safe enough to trust you last night when every bit of common sense says I shouldn't have?"

Harry considered his words, wanting to give her an honest answer. "No, it wasn't why."

Macy nodded but didn't look completely convinced.

He stepped forward so his face was right behind hers in the mirror. "As a whitelighter my job is to help you, protect you, but the bond isn't a forgone thing. Trust is not a given. If you trusted me last night I'm honored, but it had nothing to do with our... professional connection."

Her lips quirked up at the corners and a little bit of tension left the room. When she turned around her shoulders weren't as stiff, "Professional connection?"

"There is a connection," he admitted with a shrug. "If you call out, I'll hear you. I'll come."

"Professionals," she repeated as if the word was important. "Colleagues."

"Colleagues it is then.”

Macy looked down at his hand when he extended it out between them.

“This is going to end so badly,” she remarked, but sounded almost darkly amused by the prospect as she shook his hand.

Harry had to agreed as her fingers curved around his because his first instinct was to pull her to him and ravish her on the dusty couch pushed up against the wall.

This was going to end very, very badly indeed.

[elfenbensord]

star crossed lovers

written: 26.1.20-8.2.20

word count: 6.5 k (ish)

note: wrote this for @writingsoftheloser’s 1.5 writing challenge! check her lovely blog out!

attention reader! your nickname is now puck, after one of the characters in shakespeare’s ‘a midsummer dream’. welcome to your new life, puck.

prompt: lavender - devotion, virtue

characters: adult!remus lupin x adult!reader

masterlist / blurb masterlist / requests n asks

---

1984

“What about this one?” Remus waved the fresh copy of Shakespeare’s ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ in front of his friend’s nose.

“Please, no. I can’t stand that one...”, her eyes rolled in a dramatic gesture.

“Really? Didn’t you do this one at drama school?”

“Exactly.” She slapped the book away, making a face. “Doing a show kind of ruins it for forever.”

Remus took the opportunity to raise an eyebrow, “How unfortunate for you. I, however, find it to be a charming play.”

“Sure. But I was a pretty good Puck.”

“You were marvelous.”

He was trying to stay focused on organizing the shelf in front of him, but his slightly over tired brain was much more interested in continuing her jests. She was sat on top of the counter, helping him very little. “Well, you wouldn’t know. Since you didn’t come to see me.”

“Well, then I’m sure you were marvelous.” A few more books stacked against each other, filling up the empty space of the soon-to-be book shop.

“Damn right I was.”

He sighed, finding his focus defeated by her. “I’m still waiting for the day when you’ll discover humility.”

Her sudden laugh filled the empty shelves, “You’ll have to still waiting.”

“It’s called ‘keep waiting’. Or ‘continue waiting’.”

“Maybe it is. Not my fault your language is malfunctioning.”

He sometimes forgot that she isn’t from here. She seems like such a natural part of his life, he could never imagine living without her snarky comments and home-made words.

“Wouldn’t be my fault either. Do I look Anglo-Saxon to you?”

“Dunno”, she prodded a finger into his chest, not entirely gently. “But you’re supposed to be a librarian.”

He moved her hand away, “Correction: I’m a bookkeeper now.”

She grabbed the nearest book out of one of the boxes on the soon-to-be counter, slapping him not-too-gently on the head with it.

“Careful!” his sudden protest took her by surprise, just in time for him to grab the copy from her hands. “That is a first edition of Jane Ëyre, it isn’t for slapping people in the head with!”

Her hands flew up in a defensive manner, “Okay, okay, I’m sorry.”

Remus inspected the old copy of Jane Ëyre, anxious to find any scratch or dent in its textile bound cover.

“Stop making eyes with that dust. It makes you look, like, half a century older.”

He couldn’t help but smile at her comment. Setting down the book on top of one of the boxes, he said, “You think I’ll still look this good at 74?”

“Not some chance.” “Not a chance.”

“Gotcha!”

Another involuntary laugh on his behalf. “Come on, we need to empty these boxes by lunch time.”

“You have a schedule for everything, Lupin.”

“One of us needs to, Puck.”

She frowned at her old nickname, it only brought memories of long nights of studying lines  written far too many centuries ago and caffeine-overdoses. “... Now you’re just being rude.”

“How about ‘we complete each other’?”

“That’s quite an interesting take.”

“So I’m interesting now?”

Opening one of the boxes containing yet another batch of books in need of a good dusting, he could hear her mumbling, “You’re a pain, that’s what you are.”

“If you finish those books by one o’clock, we can visit that Indian place on the corner. My treat.”

Her eyes lit up, “Why didn’t you say so before?”

He could only smile.

---

“Good afternoon, and welcome to Lavender Books and Records!”

A familiar laugh reached his ears. “You can calm down with your fake charm, it’s only me.”

He pretended to be offended, “Who said my charm is fake? I reckon I’m quite charming on most days…”

“Yeah, it’s definitely fake.” She made sure to dramatically sigh and sit down on one of the book stacks by the counter.

“That’s not for sitting o-”, Remus tried to protest, but it was too late. He was rewarded only by a glare. In reply, he turned his charm up another 100 percent. “I hope your day was as lovely as you are?”

She picked up a book from one of the piles near her, pretending to be interested in its contents. “It was quite alright. But I’m very interested in what you think you’re getting with this sweet talk?”

“Dinner. It’s your turn to cook tonight.” He didn’t bother to look up at her, he already knew too well how she’d react. Lightly frowned eyebrows, slightly parted mouth, a playful look in her eyes. 

“And what makes you think that?”

He glanced at her, finding her reaction to be exactly what he’d guessed. Bingo.

“My carefully planned out dinner schedule does.”

“Oh, really.”

“Also, I’ve made dinner the last three days.”

She closed the book in her hands. “That’s a lie.”

“No, it isn’t”, he replied calmly, returning to the order of books in front of him.

“We went to the Italian restaurant two nights ago.”

“Which I paid for.”

“... Damn it, you’re right.”

The bell above the wooden door dinged loudly, announcing the introduction of a new customer.

Putting down her book, the renowned Puck looked up to smile at the fresh blood. “Good afternoon, and welcome to Lavender Books and Records!”

Remus could only smile at her antics, before looking up at the customer. “How may we help you?”

---

“You really should cook more often.” He couldn’t help but tease her.

The kitchen was still a mess, a small price to pay for over-cooked pasta with slightly burnt tomato sauce.

“Shut up.”

They found their way to their three-people sofa, like they always seemed to do once it got later. It was much too small for three, even two. They usually solved it by half-sitting, half-lying, arms and legs randomly strew across.

“I’m thinking about hiring someone.”

“For sexual favours? Darling, you only needed to ask.”

“Didn’t know you’re a legitimized stripper.”

“What do you think all that extra rehearsal time after school was for?”

Her comment earned a loud sigh from Remus, before he moved on to what he actually had set out to say. “I meant someone to help around the shop.”

“Then why’re you asking me about it?”

“Dunno. You’re my best friend, I suppose I just wanted your opinion on the matter.”

“Hmm. I think you should hire someone really sexy, so you could extend your target age to a few years younger than 50.”

“Or perhaps a few years older? Depending on how blonde she is, of course.”

“... Or he.”

“Fair point.”

They could go on for forever. Bickering, embroidering each other’s jokes. It’d been like that for too long, they didn’t know what to do with themselves. Or what to do with each other. They fell asleep together that night, on the sofa for two.

---

The worn-out copy of Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm’ witnessed about the many nights Remus had sacrificed for Mr. Orwell’s well-known fable. Several parts of the text were underlined, commented on, or simply washed out by the emotions he’d experience the first, second, and tenth time he’d read the book.

“I’m all done, you ready to go?” The voice of his friend made him reluctantly put down the paperback.

“Just a few more pages? I’m almost done with the chapte-”

“What’s with you and that damn book?”

He didn’t want to respond, finding her voice too harsh.

Her eyes were frowned, lost of their usual spark. “I tried to read it once, and it’s all just talking pigs and horses and “all animals are equal”... “, she stuttered for a while, falling in and out of her own language. In loss of what to say, she burst out: “How it can mean anything else than just animals fucking around?”

He knew her like this sometimes. After all these years, he knew her well. But he was rarely on the receiving end of her frustration, her endless exhaustion. But he still felt he didn’t know her well enough to know what to do, or what she wanted him to say.

“How did it go?”, he stalked her her around the corner of the theatre, speeding up to keep up with her fast steps. “Your audition, how was it?”

Her eyes are not what they usually are. Shine slightly dulled, movements lazy and strained. 

“How was it?”

“Shut up.” A demand, a need, rather than a request. She doesn’t care for manners; she rarely ever did.

“... Are you alright?”

Breathed out through gritted teeth, “Why shouldn’t I be?”

Trying to grab her hand, he tried to slow her fast pace. “Hey, hey. What’s up?”

Her tears were audible through her strained voice. “Let me go.”

“Not until you tell me what’s happened!”

“... Can we just go home, please?”

He finally found into her eyes, and could easily read her mind. “You didn’t get the part, do you?”

Anger pushed her eyebrows downwards, tears forcing their way out. Her figure collapsed against the concrete wall of the building near the pavement, face crumpling into a caricature of her own particular beauty. Curses flew out of her mouth, melting into a shameful spot on the dirty concrete. Choppy, angry, breaths, mixed with sniffling and desperate noises. “I fucked up. Again.”

 Then she fell against him. Shocked by the added weight upon him, he struggled to keep himself upright. They stumbled against each other for a moment, both fighting not to fall, before they finally found each other in a tight embrace.

Remus found himself longing to make her pain cease. He wanted to turn back to that audition hall, find the people in charge and strangle them with his bare hands. Her arms tight around him made him realise he would gladly sacrifice every first edition he owned to see her happy again. Forget first editions - every book he owned. Burn them all, for a simple lift of the corners of her mouth.

“I’m sorry, Puck”, his hands desperate to dry her tears away. “I’m so sorry.”

Her hands found his, grasping them to have something to hold on to. Her curses were out, her body empty of anger for the moment. Their breathing was starting to sync into slow, almost forced, breaths. 

In, out. In out. 

He slowly brought her hands up to place a kiss on them. Something deep in his heart started to sprout slowly, dearly, readying for new life to begin.

“Thank you”, muffled by the fabric of his coat. She stayed in his arms longer, just to feel the weight of his care on her. To smell his kindness. She had always felt drawn to him, bound by loyalty which could never be denied him. Like a lover. Or a dog.

She pulled away from him to stand upright by herself. Once her breathing had evened out , she found the strength to ask, “Are you a dog person or a cat person?”

An easy laugh forced its way out of his mouth “What?”

“Cats or dogs?”

“Why do you need to know?”

The glimmer in her eyes was beginning to catch fire again. “Just answer me?”

He took a moment to think, so he could stay honest to her with his every word. After a minute or so, “Dogs. Definitely dogs.”

Her smile finally appeared, and the world could begin again.

---

The theatre called her back a week later. 

She got the part.

---

1980

“Hey, anyone in there?” were the first words she said to him. 

Remus almost fell off the small stool he used to restock the taller shelves of the Tempest Library. The stack of heavy scripts in his arms didn’t make balancing any easier, and he found himself looking like a fool for a second. She also thought he looked quite stupid, but wouldn’t only tell him so until a few hours later.

She reached out a hand to help him steady himself. And suddenly, the two had gone from strangers to quite unlikely acquaintances. He coughed once, twice. “Thank you.”

He’d never met someone so bold with introductions. No fumbling, no insecure glances. Sure eyes and a secure handshake, and suddenly they were friends. 

“Sorry, were you looking for something?”

She seemed to size him up, inspecting the dust from the archived books on his arms, trying to find out what she thought of him already. Remus’ face changed to a redder shade at the thought of his disheveled hair, and the too cheery “Hello! My name is…” sign pinned onto the front of his jumper. Seemingly unaware of his knowledge of what she was doing, she took her time to get a good look of him. It ended with a small nod of her head, and brilliant eyes meeting his. “Have you got anything by Shakespeare?”

Remus felt more comfortable stepping into the role of librarian - it felt safer than realizing that this meeting would change his life. “Of course, you’ll find the Bard in our drama section.”

“... And that is?

“In isle G.” He tried to smile, but she still didn’t seem content with his answer.

“Do I have to get it myself, or is it really true that you can just conjure it up with your librarian-granted magic?”

His laugh was unexpected, even to himself. “It isn’t true, I’m afraid. But I’ll gladly show you isle G.”

The walk there seemed longer than the 30 metres it actually was. “Was it any particular text you were looking for?”

She eagerly looked around the different isles containing shelves of books about most subject on each and every letter in the alphabet. “Wow”, her hand went to remove some bothering hairs from her eyes. “You really have a lot of books here.”

“Well, it is a library.”

“Whatever. D’you know have many there are in here?.”

“It’s over 2000, at least. And that’s excluding the archive.”

“How d’you know?”

“I’ve counted them. Or tried to.”

Now it was her turn to laugh. Several quick breaths, a few snorting sounds. That’s what her laugh sounded like in the beginning. At some point, after a few weeks or even months, it would become a sound to lift him up on hopeless days. 

They finally reached their destination: isle G, the drama section. S for Shakespeare. “What were you looking for?”

“... Something about summer and dreaming. I can’t remember what my professor said-”

She turned quiet once she saw the book in front of her. Remus held up ‘A Midsummer Night's Dream’, looking at her with expectant eyes. “Could this be it?”

“‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’... That does sound familiar.”

He was surprised that she had nothing more to say. Though he’d only been aware of her existence for no more than what could be five minutes, he found himself thinking he’d known her much longer.

“What kind of title is that, though?”

He had to stop himself from smiling. There it was. Bingo.

He cleared his throat, trying to get back to reality. “Is there any particular reason as to why you’re seeking this particular book?”

“I’m doing an audition, and my professor said I need a bit of background info first.”

“Cool. Who’re you gonna play?”

“Dunno. Haven’t read it yet, have I?” 

He noticed how she moved. A curious thing, perhaps, for a newly-found friend to notice. But it was hard not to notice. She almost moved like a cartoon character. Moving her body around in an exaggerated manner, like she was being observed by a larger audience. Like she was performing her own life to a crowd. And it became obvious that the spotlight belonged to her, and only her.

He cleared his throat again, “So I’m guessing you’re here to borrow it?”

“Well, it’d be a bit hard to do my homework otherwise.”

“You’ll need a library card to do that, but I’m happy to help you apply for one.”

“How can you know that I don’t already have one?

Because it seems like you’ve never set your foot in a library before.

“I just… I listened to what you said, and… Sorry, do you have a library card?”

“No, I don’t. Could you help me get one?”

Remus was relieved to find the conversation somewhere familiar once again. “Of course, I’ll just need your name and your phone number.”

“This sounds a lot like something a stalker would say, but I’ll take the risk since I really want to get a good role.”

He didn’t know whether or not he was in a position to laugh at what she’d just said. Was it a joke on him? A joke on her? A joke to herself only?

“Please laugh”, that hint of joy in her eyes again, “otherwise I’ll just feel stupid.”

“Wouldn’t want that to happen.”

“No one’s ever died from a little stupid.”

“I believe it’s called ‘stupidity’.”

“I believe I just proved my own point.”

“Well, to be fair, lots of people have died from their own stupidity on lots of occasions.”

A broad arm gesture, “That’s not the point.”

“What is the point then?”

“Do you still want my phone number?”

“Well, I’ll need it for the library card.”

“Okay. D’you have a pen and some paper, or will I have to use the book?”

He handed her a pencil and a piece of paper from his back pocket, happy to finally get some use of them. “Please don’t use the book. I think people here have been fired for less than scribbling.”

After a quick signature in barely readable hand-writing, he handed her two notes.

“This one”, she gave him the first note, “is for the damn library card.”

“And this one’s”, she gave him the second note, “is for you.” 

She grabbed the book and placed it in her backpack, getting ready to head of to her next adventure. Before she left him, “You can call me about Shakespeare or something tonight.”

---

The connection sparked, “Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“I didn’t think you’d call.” It almost sounded like an accusation, coming from her in a slightly harsh tone. It was hard to tell when her face wasn’t available.

“How come?”

“What?”

“Why didn’t you think I’d call.”

“Didn’t seem like the type.”

“The type to call?”

“The type to do anything exciting.”

He didn’t know what to say to that.

“Sorry if I’m a bit rude right now”, she shuffled the phone from one ear to the other. “It’s the way I am.”

“Well, that sounds…”

“Alarming?”

“Honest.”

“Wow.”

“Did I manage to surprise you again?”

“Yes. Yes, you did.”

Their breathing almost synced, before she said, “You’re pretty cool.”

And he felt she really meant it. He’d soon come to realize she meant everything she said. Most times, at least. And he’d come to love it.

“So are you.”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

The connection ended. Remus sat still for a moment, not really knowing what he thought. Had he been expecting something else? And then her words came back to his mind, “See you tomorrow.”

There would be a tomorrow including her. And perhaps a day after that. And perhaps even the days after that. And slowly, he started to see how his life could change. And he thought it was pretty cool.

---

He waited for her the next day.

And the next.

And the next.

And soon he had to send her a late notice for the book she’d unofficially borrowed.

---

The light outside the library became dull, heading towards complete darkness. Remus looked longingly towards the tall windows, wishing he could be on his way home. He had a few chapters left of ‘The Great Gatsby’, and he could barely wait until he could finish it later that evening. 

A not too familiar voice cut through the thick silence: “If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended, that you have but slumbered here while these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream, gentles, do not reprehend: If you pardon, we will mend: And, as I am an honest Puck… ”

She could not continue after that. He restrained himself from a loud sigh, finding it impolite to do so. He then wondered if she’d find it impolite, or if she really cared about politeness at all.

“Good evening, honest Puck.” He looked up from the book report on the library counter before him. 

Her eyes betrayed her wish to stay cold and collected, “I’m sorry.”

The book was in her hands, along with a piece of paper. She looked at him with hopeful eyes as she handed him the script back.

He handled the book, searching to find any new imperfections. His eyes met hers. “This is a week late.”

“... I’m sorry about that too.”

“I should charge you for that. It’s my job, after all.”

“I don’t think you will.”

He hated how she knew him already. “No. I won’t.”

In a desperate attempt to continue the conversation in some other direction, “I take it you got the part as Puck?”

“Understudy.”

“Does this mean I’ll have to murder someone?”

She laughed, “Thanks, but I like to kill my own enemies.”

“Perhaps a minor accident? Nothing too serious, just serious enough…”

She laughed again. “I hope you’ll come see it, even if I’m not in it. I can get you tickets if you’d like.”

Her offer wasn’t very tempting to him. “Sure.”

She gently rolled on the balls of her feet, not able to keep still for more than a second. “When d’you get off tonight?”

This offer was more to his liking. “Late.”

“I’ll call you.”

“Will you?”

“I will.”

“I don’t believe you”, he started looking at the report again, hoping he looked cold and collected. She thought he did. “But I’m eager to have you surprise me.”

She wrinkled her nose, finding his sentence too perplexing to care. “I’ll call you.”

“Don’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m occupied elsewhere.”

“And where might that be?”

“In the works of F. Scotts Fitzgerald.”

“Who’s that? Your uncle?”

“No”, he was confused by her confusion. “He’s an author.”

“Well I haven’t heard of him.”

“It seems like you haven’t heard of a lot of things.”

It was meant as a thought, but it slipped out of his mouth before he could restrain himself. Her reaction to the insult-like statement was even curiouser. 

Laughter. It lit up the dim room, and made the sun want to crawl back onto the sky. “Good talking to you, Remus. I’ll call you.”

---

A few beeps before connection. 

“Hello.”

“I’m surprised.”

“Gotcha. Now you’re never ever getting rid of me.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

‘The Great Gatsby’ was put aside for the rest of the night, and he was forced to reschedule his entire life for her phone calls to fit.

It doesn’t sound so bad at all…

---

1984

“D’you wanna go to this weird art exhibition?” She leaned over his reading, stealing away the light from the kitchen table. This was the tenth time he tried to finish ‘The Great Gatsby’ with no apparent success. 

He was forced to meet her eyes, “Come again?” 

“Not right now, I’m still a bit sore.” She was laughing halfway through her own joke. 

It earned her an eye roll from him. “You know what I meant. And you should also know that your mind disgusts me.”

“Thank you. Wanna go now?”

“I’m sorry, but my evening is unfortunately occupied elsewhere.”

Another sentence she didn’t care for, “... Meaning?”

He returned to his book, wanting to seem suave or something like it. “I’ve got a date.”

“Like a… ”, she needed a few moments to comprehend, her arms and eyebrows everywhere, “a real date? A human date?”

“... I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“Sorry, but I didn’t know that rat-haired librarians were in such demand.” 

He looked up to see her smile. “Actually, you’d be surprised.”

“What? Are you saying that you’ve turned down dates?”

A nod of his head, he could feel his confidence growing. “A few.”

She moved closer to him, “What’re you hiding, Lupin?”

He laughed, “Nothing, Puck.”

Crossing her arms, “Where are all these girlfriends then? Or boyfriends?”

“I just-”, he found himself in search of the words he wanted to say, something which rarely occurred to him. “I just didn’t feel like it.”

“Didn’t feel like it? That’s sounds like absolute bullsh-”

His hand quickly reached to cover her mouth, “Mind your words, please.”

She hit his hand away, revealing a smile. “Sure, Mr. Anglo-Saxon.”

“Hmm. I do love it when you talk dirty to me.”

“Hmm. I really wonder what your date will think of that.” 

After a moment, her curiosity won. Bright, curious eyes,“Who is it?”

“You don’t know her-”, he tried again to seem collected. He’d never really mastered the effect, even with all the practice he put it.

“Maybe I do. You don’t know about all my social circles.”

He had to smile, “Dear, we make out the majority of each other’s social circles.”

“Fair point. But who is she?”

“If you must know… Her name is Alice.”

She was practically hanging off of him now, “And how did you meet?”

His cheeks flushed at her closeness. It wasn’t anything new, she’d been too close and too fast from the very beginning. But it never failed to make him change shade to a much redder one. “She’s been helping around the shop for a while now.”

“... I didn’t think you were that desperate.” She slid away from him. 

He already missed her arms around him. “Now you’re really being rude.”

“Hmm.” She didn’t regret it. Something about the fact that her best friend would spend an evening without her bothered her. It made her words harsh and unguarded, which she almost always regretted afterwards. Especially if it was Remus. Which is was in this case, and many other. 

“Guess I’ll go to the exhibition alone, then.”

He found the clock on the wall, realising how late the hour was. As he stood up and moved to reach for his winter coat, he suddenly found himself afraid of looking too nonchalant. “You do that. Tell me how it was once I get back tonight.”

“Not planning to spend the night with Heather? Or how about the rest of your life... ”

“Hannah. Her name is Hannah.” He closed the last buttons, then wrapped a scarf around his freckled neck. “And I might consider it, seeing as your acting is nothing more than unpleasant.”

“Fine. You do that. Not like I care.”

Please, stay here with me instead.

“It seems like you do.”

“I don’t.”

I already miss you.

“Okay. Goodnight.”

She didn’t say goodnight back. 

Remus stayed the night with Hannah, discussing ‘The Great Gatsby’. Hannah never realised he hadn’t finished the book. He almost wished she did. Wished she’d called him out on it, so he could answer with a clever comeback.

He wished he’d stayed at home.

---

She was eating breakfast when he tried to open the door as quietly as possible. “You’re up already? Isn’t this your day off”, he tried to act normal, but he couldn’t remember how. Chugging off his coat, he asked, “How was the art show?”

She tried to find some way of conveying how sorry she was. Sorry for the bitter words, sorry for her uncaring way of the night before. No words fit the purpose, and she found herself staring at her friend instead.

“Are you quite alright?”

Somewhere within, she felt a twinge of something. Like a small thorn, pricking away at her insides. Putting down her bowl of cereal, she eliminated the few metres between them. His cheeks were still rosy from the cold outside, and she noticed how his eyes were just a little bit clearer. 

She didn’t shy away from his glance as she said it, “I’m sorry.”

Remus could never stay mad at her for longer than ten minutes. If she’d been particularly impossible, that time could stretch into twenty. He’d realized this far too early in their time of knowing each other. 

“I know.”

Her arms slid around him, and she was relieved to find him open for her. “I’m sorry. But I probably meant it.”

His limbs turned soft, his shoulders relaxing. He hadn’t realized he was so tense without her. “I know.”

“How was your date?”

“Okay.”

“Good.”

“How was the art show?”

“I didn’t go.”

“Why not?”

“Things aren’t as fun without you.”

He found his comebacks to fit right into her sentences. “Good for me.”

“Good for you.”

They were content to hold each other in silence for a few seconds.

“Wanna eat breakfast together out?” she suggested. 

His eyebrows drew closer together, a smile already appearing on his face. “You just had breakfast. And I had breakfast at Hannah’s.”

“Yeah. But we haven’t had breakfast together yet.”

“You’re right. Let’s go.”

Their lives - and their life - was quickly mended again over blueberry muffins and tea.

---

Another evening, a few days later. Puck paced back and forth in the living room. Their living room. Thought moving too quickly in her head for her to understand any of them. Her shoulders relaxed, pace slowed, as she heard keys jammed into the lock of the door. Remus entered, bright eyes and rosy cheeks. His arms were occupied by stack of books and a paper bag full of the night’s dinner.

“They didn’t have those muffins you asked for, but I think I managed to find something like it-”, he was mid conversation when he noticed her angry complexion, her worried pace. 

“What’s going on here?”

She started to walk faster again, words falling out of her mouth at a too fast speed. “So, I was talking to Lily-”

“Really? How’s James? And have they decided on a name for the baby yet?”

“Didn’t say. I think they’re going for something like Henry? I can’t remember… Where was I?” 

He moved inside the flat, putting the books and bags down on the kitchen table. “... You were talking to Lily?”

“Right! But what she said was that she could never see us two dating…”

He looked up, confused and worried by her. “Sorry, I’m not really following. What did she say?”

“She said we could never date.” It fired out of her, an explosion of syllables.

“And why is that so bad?”

Her face fell into sadness. It was one of the few times he’d seen her genuinely sad, and he found it hurt his heart. He moved towards her, wondering if a hug would be the right thing to do. She stopped to look at him, before she continued, “... Doesn’t matter. But isn’t that a weird thing to say? I mean, we get along fine!”

He chickened out of a hug, and settled for gentle touching her arm instead, moving them both to sit down on the sofa in the living room. “We get along marvelously, darling. You’re my absolute best friend.”

Her face was already lighting up, thoughts settling once again. What was she ever worried about? “And you’re my best friend in the whole wide world.”

The smirk on his face implied a lot of things. 

She took one look at him, restoring back to herself again. “Get that stupid smile off your stupid face.” Closing her eyes, she let a smile consume her own face again. “Or else I’ll have to give you a black eye, or something.”

Threats never worked on him, she was well aware of that. His head fell onto her shoulder. “You seem very upset about this. Any particular reason as to why?”

She quickly turned explosive again. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a date tonight?”

“... No?”

“Hmm. So Miss Perfect decided to spare you this night?”

He moved away from her, standing up and crossing the room to find the open kitchen. Their open kitchen. “You know, sometimes you’re not very nice at all.”

“And?”

“Exactly.”

He couldn’t bare her taking more of his energy. “I think I’ll take a walk.”

“Would you like company?”

“No. I’d rather be alone.”

Ouch.

“There’s food in the bag.”

“Okay.”

She shouted a half-hearted “Bye” as she saw him go, missing him already. The mix of feelings inside of her made her forehead wrinkle and her eyebrows stoop down.

He never did things on whims, but the feelings which resided in him overwhelmed him. They did that when she was around. “I’m thinking about moving out.”

If he’d seen her eyes, he would’ve seen the deepest of fears. 

Her hair covered her eyes. “What?”

“Yeah. See you.”

We get along just fine.

---

REMUS

Remus stared at the ceiling above him. Her words seemed to get to him tonight more than he thought they would. He was often confused by her. But this time felt different. This time, he wished he’d understood her. What had she been talking about? Lily and them not being a good couple? And why had she been so upset by it?

Perhaps… 

A thought, an old hope, was lit up once again. Old dreams of holding hands, sharing food, sharing life, started to replay in his head. Parallel in his mind, was what he deemed reality. The times when she wouldn’t listen, when her sharp words hurt. Her selfishness. 

We get along just fine.

He wondered, was it really true? Or was it something he’d tried to convince himself of these past years?

A thought passed his mind. A thought he often found himself playing with. Why not just leave?

Leave her and her sharp tongue. Her childish ways. Her selfish priorities. Leave her and her honesty. Her lovely laugh. Her whimsical world.

He could never leave her.

The old flame inside his chest was lit again, and it became harder to put out, to bury, after each time. The glow shuddered, only to burn even brighter. Would she come running after him? He wasn’t sure. He could only hope. He’d read too many novels in his life to know what was truly realistic. To know what life is really like. He wondered, did he want to know? All he wanted, all he knew, was her. 

Leave her?

He woke up - he could never do that. He wouldn’t know where to start. Sure, she was infuriating at best. But wasn’t he as well? Weren’t they a match like the ones in Shakespeare’s plays? Spare the deaths and woes, he only wanted her company. So they could have their happy ending. Happily ever after. Or for a short time, at least. Until one of them pissed the other off. And then they’d apologise, and the cycle would repeat. They’d live like hell, and love even more. It would be wonderful. They wouldn’t always get along, but it wouldn’t matter. 

A pair of star-cross'd lovers can begin their life. 

---

PUCK

She’d felt the need to breath. The air inside the flat didn’t seem like enough. The air outside, in the small park around the corner, wasn’t enough either.

We get along just fine.

He was the best person she’d ever met. He was kind. And smart. He was good-hearted and honest and so all things wonderful. And whenever she saw him, all she felt about him became so much, and she didn’t know where to go. So she’d explode every now and then. She’d thought he could stand it. Sometimes, she even thought he liked it. But it seemed it wasn’t so. Perhaps it never was.

Perhaps...

---

They found each other a few hours later.

She’d never seen him so sure. He was having tea, reading something by Shakespeare, at the kitchen table.

“Hi.”

Was he always this good-looking?

“Greetings to thee.” He just wanted to smile at her. But he didn’t find it the right time. 

Surely, it must be a trick of the light, she thought. Or just her tired eyes seeing something else. Light brown hair, slightly ruffled in the way only he could do it. The most perfect face shape - and Godrick, that jawline. Long, freckled nose. Eyes she wished only she knew. Was this really her friend? Or had someone taken her dear Remus’ place when she was sleeping?

She felt a sudden need to say something nice. Something friendly, like “I love you”.  Quick, “How… are you?”

“How am I?”

“Yes. How are you?”

“I’ve known you for… four years”, he looked up at her with his kind eyes, a smile finally taking form. “And I don’t think you’ve ever asked me that.”

She gave him a look.

“Well then. I’m quite anxious on this Saturday morning.”

“About?”

“Something very important.”

“Hmm. I hope it’ll turn out alright for you.”

“So do I.”

His eyes were so honest. It struck her like a spotlight. She loved the way he looked at her. He was all the audience she needed. 

“We should...”

Make out?

“...talk.”

Her eyes didn’t betray her mind for once, “Ok. You could… ”

Kiss you?

“... meet me after rehearsal?”

He masked his disappointment flawlessly. “Sure. When d’you get off?”

“At nine, hopefully.” She found her script and slid it into a backpack. She shrugged on her ragged jeans jacket, adding a scarf for warmth and comfort. The early spring outside wasn’t too kind to freezing souls.

“Fine. I’ll meet you then.”

“See you!”

---

ROMEO

She speaks:

O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art

As glorious to this night, being o'er my head

As is a winged messenger of heaven

Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes

Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him

When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds

And sails upon the bosom of the air.

JULIET

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?

Deny thy father and refuse thy name;

Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,

And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

---

They met outside in the park outside the theatre.

She: “You know, I’m in love with you.”

He found no words. Of all the books he’d read, he couldn’t think of a single thing to say. He could, however, think of some things to do.

Take hold of her hand. Find her closer. Let their lips meet.

“I love you.”

“That’s right”, her face scrunched into a grimace, it seemed like she was trying to change her insides. “Damnit!”

He still couldn’t understand all of her. But he could try. He could ask.“What?”

Her arms flew out into a gesture, before she looked at him through frustrated eyes. “I promised myself I’d be nicer to you. Now that we’re in love an all.”

He had to smile at her. “Please don’t be.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.”

That earned him a kiss. And another. And another.

She let go of him, laughing, “Now I can really see what Lily meant with us not being an ideal couple…”

Their faces were close, they could hear each others quietest whispers. He sighed, “Hmm. Screw ideal.”

“How about we screw each other?”

He laughed, “I’m not entirely opposed to that idea.”

He finally felt he’d succeeded with suave. Cool and collected. At the same time, burning and all over the place.

She tugged at his hand, leaned in and whispered like she was telling a secret, “Wanna go eat at the Indian place?”

“Perhaps we could make a small stop first?”

“Where to?”

“I was thinking home.”

His eyes told her exactly what he meant. Her face turned rosy at his thoughts.

She leaned in, and he expected a sweet word, or something like it. Her nose almost touched his ear as she said, “Race you to it!”

She was already running at full speed when he straightened up.

“The loser has to pay for dinner!”

Their laughs echoed through the streets. And their life as star-cross'd lovers took its first breaths.

---

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