#which then turned into who cares if you're gay it's completely accepted why are people scared to come out it's 2024 nobody cares!

[liebelesbe]

Honestly at this point I think I'll never get into a relationship. Not in a self-deprecating way or even because of my social anxiety, but because then I'd have to be open about being a lesbian.

What scares me so much about that, you ask? I DON'T KNOW. I wish I knew.

[minsarasarahair]

What? I just realized both Word of Honor and Are You OK have 36 episodes in total!! I love both shows and books, okay? I'm checking WOH again because I'm thinking how their adaption is similar to Are You OK. Like how Zhou Zishu and Lou Zhu have questionable morals in the source material but was changed into somewhat Hero role model for the drama or donghua?

Tian Ya Ke (Faraway Wanderers) book: Antiheroes pair who understand each other, Someone who don't feel remorse in his crimes x Someone who avenge his parents for justice that turn him into monster Shan He Ling (Word of Honor) drama: Heroes who made mistake and trying to change their ways for better, Someone who's guilty of his crimes x Someone who avenge his parents but he did it in morally acceptable way

You Yao (Medicine) book: Antihero who only care about what benefit him x Son of a villain who aspire to become a hero just because he simply don't like his dad but later realized its his choice to be morally good for himself You Yao (Are You OK?) donghua: Coward Hero in denial who has character development x Son of a villain who aspire to become hero because its the morally right thing to do

Both pair have power imbalance if you look at them. WenZhou are Shidi and Shixiong in WOH. In Are You OK, not only LouZuo have 10 years age gap but they are also have master-bodyguard, childhood hero-aspiring hero and mentor-student dynamic. Though I think You Yao handle the communication part way better. Sure, both pairs have fight in the first half of story but Are You OK's LouZuo is in sync in the later part so it didn't became a continuous problem unlike WOH WenZhou.

Note: If you're not familiar with You Yao, it has a completed donghua and its a danmei with 4 gay couples but definitely not romance driven. Its still a love story but very plot driven. You get which are the gay pairs with implication but story don't really explore it much. The main story happened during Zuo Yunqi's teenage years and Lou Zhu is at his 20s but they are definitely the end game after story. In one of the extra story, they only meet again after 5 years of the the main story ending and they somehow developed a long distance but healthy relationship where they send letters to keep each other updated. Lou Zhu is actually very supportive of ZYQ becoming a good person despite Lou Zhu himself having questionable morals lol Like WenZhou to Chengling?

For example, when their partner is hiding something. Instead of hiding it from only one character, You Yao hide it to 3 people so they can talk to each other. All of them are sad that their partner are hiding something from them so they can relate. You know the feeling of failing an exam but when you found out your friends failed it too, you feel much better? Maybe that's why its easier to accept it while in WOH, I feel I'm betrayed by everyone together with ZZS?

When the secret was exposed instead of letting Zhou Zishu be angry because his anger is valid, the other supporting characters joined to defend Wen Kexing. Zhou Zishu said "I'm not asking you" to those characters because its between him and Wen Kexing. In Are You Ok, one of the character tell his problem alone. Lou Zhu let him talk and listen to him patiently. If you watch the donghua, you'll see Lin Kai looking at Lou Zhu when they heard Xie Liang's report but Lou Zhu gestured him to wait and let Xie Liang finish speaking first. Then he tell him to get the other 2 guys who have the same problem so he can explain what's going on to them in one go. I just love how considerate Lou Zhu is to their feelings of being left behind and sad to whatever's going on. He can interrupt them to be insensitive about it but he didn't do it. One of the thing that made me uncomfortable in WOH is the cast are laughing and celebrating except for Zhou Zishu. At least in Are You OK, the revelation scene is a serious matter. They are not laughing in this scene. Take note that these two scenario are not present in the original material.

Lastly, the scene based from original material that have consequences. Wen Kexing leaving for Ghost Valley and Zuo Yunqi leaving for Pangmen.

TYK: Wen Kexing say his farewell to Zhou Zishu that he need to go back to Mt. Fengya to fix things but assure he'll be back for Zhou Zishu's surgery. Despite that, ZZS was still worried because of what happened before with Liang Jiuxiao so he chase after WKX just in case. Zhou Zishu manage to save the wounded Wen Kexing at the right time before he was killed. WOH: Wen Kexing didn't explain his plans and actually hide things from Zhou Zishu just because he's afraid it will make Zhou Zishu worry. After Zhou Zishu learned Zhang Chengling found out WKX's true identity, he got worried so he chase after WKX. Wen Kexing probably planned it not expecting Zhou Zishu to get involved so the situation gone out of hand. Zhou Zishu after witnessing WKX's fake death, decided to throw away his life too and remove the nails on his body. They didn't expect ZZS will do this.

You Yao book: After Zuo Yunqi drugged the doctor and witnessed his dad dying in front of him since he gave him the antidote that killed his dad, ZYQ is at his wits end searching for a solution to Lou Zhu's problem and have no time explaining so he return to Pangmen hoping to get an answer. Lou Zhu learning what happened, he understood quickly where ZYQ has gone to and tell his people to look for him just in case. ZYQ was found and returned almost dying but he stated few words about a gift before losing consciousness. Lou Zhu knew exactly he's talking about ZYQ's first gift to him but he didn't know what he should do with it. He think deeply and think of the options available but later manage to figure out what ZYQ is trying to say. Later, they found out ZYQ can't do martial arts anymore as consequence yet he still choose to lead Pangmen to prevent his people from doing bad deeds and decided to be an expert in poison to help others by making antidote instead of using poison to harm others. Are You Ok donghua: After ZYQ drugged the doctor and learning from his dying dad the he might find the antidote that will not kill his dad in Pangmen, he left a note to Lou Zhu that he'll be back quickly before he gone to Pangmen. Lou Zhu was worried but he decided to put his trust so he order the people to get back to work and not to worry about Zuo Yunqi's sudden disappearance. ZYQ returned heavily wounded but not dying. ZYQ tells Lou Zhu that what he gave to Lou Zhu before he became his bodyguard might be helpful to their problem. He no longer can perform martial arts but that's fine because he became a nutritionist and transformed the Pangmen from bad sect to a good sect that sell medicine for good health.

In TYK, You Yao book and Are You OK donghua; you can still see the the different faces of trust of each pair except for WOH. I think WOH probably works more if Wen Kexing really almost died instead of faking his death and the stake after what happened is not that high aka ZZS removing his nails. I wish Wen Kexing tell him or Zhou Zishu understood quickly what Wen Kexing is trying to do. Zhou Zishu is dying as consequence so its understandable that its VERY painful to watch just because of wrong decision. Because Book Zuo Yunqi didn't also tell his plan to Lou Zhu so he has no choice but to trust Lou Zhu's understanding of him hoping he will figure it out on his own and Book Lou Zhu didn't fail him. So even if Zuo Yunqi didn't tell it to Lou Zhu he still has the "trust" that Lou Zhu will be fine on his own with few hints he left behind.

Other WOH and Are You OK similarities: Red and Blue Couple, Other one has pretty long white hair at the end of story, Has Secret ending (Yeah, I call the China Mainland only episode of You Yao a secret ending because International platform didn't have it)

[deathlygristly]

So the kdrama podcast that I used to like so much that I used to subscribe to their Patreon did an episode on Chicken Nugget today.

If you're not into kdramas and/or you didn't watch it, it's a fun little show about a woman being turned into a piece of chicken (not really a nugget but that was the English translation) by an alien machine, and the ensuing adventures of her father and her father's employee who has a crush on her as they try to get her back into a human body.

I was surprised that these particular podcasters were going to cover it, because they generally don't tend to like anything that's much beyond the boundaries of mainstream and acceptably normal. But they seemed to be excited about it and to be willing to actually give it a try, so I decided to listen to the episode.

Yeah, two of them only watched one episode and the third was the only one to finish it, and they were pretty mean about it. Despite asking people who liked it to not be mean to them.

Just personal rambling under the cut.

Then they talked about humor that they do like, and apparently one of them thinks the trope of the show's main couple doing a contrived fall and their lips meeting when they land is supposed to be funny? I've always thought of it as an awkward trope that's a product of trying to show physical attraction and contact in a very conservative culture.

Then they mentioned three shows as examples of humor they like, and I was like oh wow we are completely different and I'm not sure how I listened to you guys for so long without realizing this.

They mentioned Hospital Playlist and Reply 1988, which are by the same creative team. We haven't watched Reply 1988 but we did watch Reply 1997 and the first season of Hospital Playlist, and we were like oh, okay, these people make neurotypical shows for neurotypical people, we don't need to check their shows out anymore. To me and the spousal person, they were extremely boring shows about large groups of neurotypical extroverts socializing with each other, and we didn't get it or enjoy it.

They also mentioned the "banter" between the main couple in Wedding Impossible, which....yeah. We finished it last night and IIRC the spousal person said he'd put it in the "meh" category. Not in the worst shows we've watched but on the lower end. The posts in the tag cover how the gay character was treated pretty well, and the main couple themselves were nonsensical and weird to us. Like why suddenly decide to separate for a year when you were ready to die for each other after one date? None of the dialogue stood out to us, and all I can remember right now is the main dude, who at the time thought the main girl was engaged to his brother for real and not as a beard, telling her that he was going to seduce her? So funny, so smart. /sarcasm

Anyway, yeah, I was correct to unsubscribe from their Patreon and I should probably unsubscribe from the show too. I'll give them a few more episodes though. Plus if nothing else they do provide an interesting view of the thoughts of middle class neurotypical white women about kdramas.

Also an interesting view of where the stereotypical idea of marriage in posts on here comes from, from people whose parents are like the podcasters. Their husbands don't watch the dramas with them or talk to them about the shows much, and two of them shared stories about their husbands being injured and they laughed about it and how upset their husbands got because they didn't seem to care much about their injuries and how they were frustrated because the injury interrupted their drama-watching?

I sent one episode to the spousal person to listen to once a while back and his first reaction was "Do they actually like their husbands?"

Hmm. So on one hand it's interesting social information gathering about types of people that I am not around often IRL but who I encounter a lot online, and on the other hand I can feel myself becoming a hate-listener and I do not like that at all.

[mercyraph]

Okay time for Bad Dad rankings according to me (MCU) (it's just the avengers, Gotg, and black widow film.)

1. Alexei. (Dad guy of Natasha and Yelena)

-I don't think I have to explain this but I will anyway.

-This guy concsiously made the decision to put his very very young adoptive-ish daughters in the red room. You know, the one who trains kid assasins and then like inevitably kills them if they fail, pit them against each other? Yeah.

-also fuck you alexei that's human trafficking.

2. 0d*n

-like come on who the fuck steals a child and then makes them hate their existence??

-Bitch ass lying ass bitch.

-He had 3 chances I don't know how he managed to fuck that up

-"oh but look at thor, he's always happy, and he's good." First of all, Thor is only good because earthlings taught him better shit than 0d*n. Second of all, he's always happy, and you don't find it concerning at all??

-thor turned out to be the depressed kid who wants to fight every mild inconvenience.

3. Ego

-okay now, him, U don't personally know. But if you're going to use your kid, you could at least not kill their mom yk?? That was a dick move

4. Thanos

-Now I know what you might be thinking, "why isn't he the top 1, he tried to murder half the universe blah blah blah," I Don't Care. Thanos by far showed the most care for his children.

-did he turn them into assasins? Yes. Did he pit them against each other in order to strengthen them? Also yes. But you have to admit, he cared about eacb and every stray child he got (disregarding of course the possibility that he mind whammied loki and tortured him)

-like he has different beliefs than everyone else that made him a bad father, but essentially it didn't make him like love them less. He just kinda loved the balance of the universe more.

-also there's something with the way he talks that's so...placating(?). Like when Ebony didn't show up, it wasn't like anger that he failed, it was mostly disappointment. Like the kind you get when you feel like you failed someone because they failed? Also whenever he speaks to anyone he sounds so peaceful idk.

5. That guy with the rings???

-like man why you blaming your child???

-also abuse???

-also hating your kids especially girly with the bangs???

6. Howard mf Stark.

-now here's the thing. I genuinely believe that Howard was neglectful but he was in no way abusive.

-I believe that Mr. Jarvis would most definitely not stand for the abuse of anyone in the Stark Manor. As does Peggy Carter.

-But He is neglectful. Just the company, SHIELD, shmaptain shamerica, everything, he completely forgets to prioritize his family.

-but I also believe that he greatly values the Stark name. Not in the sense that, "behave, do not sully my household name." But like, "this is my household name that I built from the ground up. Now that you have become part of it, there is nothing you can do to tarnish it. Be free, be gay, do crimes"

-like obviously not treason but like if Tony was ever like has disabilities or something about his Sexuality or gender identity, he'd do absolutely everything so that no one has anything bad to say about it.

-Not to say he will accept it (it's honestly this or that) but he won't allow anyone disrespecting a Stark.

-I just get the vibe that even if he was not a good father, he will make the Stark name impossibly unreachable, untouchable, no matter the circumstances. Like he'd be too focused on that to be homophobic or transphobic.

-like let's say ftm!tony, and he walks in on him trying Howard's old suit which are like sized bigger than him. He'd probably forget that tony was afab and be like, "This is not going to work, we're going to the tailor. I can't have people seeing you dressed like you got that from a thrift shop." Or like, "Why are you so skinny? Do you even work-out, boy? Drop and give 50, now."

(Please know that this would be entirely different had he been abusing. He's be in 1st place)

Anyway. Thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[nerdby]

I am so annoyed at people who think Glee is problematic. Like there were some trash people on the cast of the show, but a lot of people seem to be missing the fact that the show is satire and is intentionally offensive. It is made to offend pearlclutchers who can't stand sex scenes in movies or gay people kissing or swearing in music.

So if you're offended by this show then congrats, you're a pearlclutcher.

Like everyone who loves this show -- we ALL know that it's weird for a grown man to spend all his free time with a bunch of teenagers. We ALL know that Will Shuester is NOT a well-adjusted adult because well-adjusted adults don't try to live vicariously through the high school glee club. We know that.

That's the entire point of the fucking show. That's the joke which is made repeatedly throughout the series. Like Sue Sylvester points it out repeatedly and can Sue be a monster at times? Yes, she can because she is a right-winger who abhorred the arts because she is a deeply fucked up person who is incapable of communicating her feelings in a healthy manner. At least the beginning of the series.

Sue Sylvester is toxic masculinity wrapped up in a woman's body.

And what a lot of people don't get is how HUGE of a deal it was for Glee to have made at all because it celebrates queer people, and it was on mainstream, primetime television.

Like you didn't need fucking HBO to watch Glee. It wasn't considered adult entertainment and it wasn't R-rated. Because that's how it used to fucking be. Go watch any queer movie from the 1990s -- it'll be R-rated even if there aren't sex scenes. The L Word was only aired on HBO which was known for it's edgy content. The one award-winning queer movie from that era was a cautionary tale that erased the existence of transgender men -- 1997's Boys Don't Cry.

Do you get now why it was such a big fucking deal to have shows and movies like Glee or I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry or Degrassi that were marketed as family entertainment?

Queer people weren't taboo. We weren't sex symbols that existed solely to be objectified. We were just normal people asking for acceptance -- and it wasn't fucking torture porn because it was talking about issues that we queer people deal with every fucking day. Cause I hate to tell you this, but a lot of queer people have tragic lives.

I came out to my family as bisexual when I was sixteen. My mom cried and my brother who I haven't spoken to in four years threatened to stab me. When me and my ex-husband broke up in 2015, I stayed with my mom for two months. Then she threw me out because she said she didn't want me turning my little sister queer and she disapproved of me being a Pagan. I alternated between couch surfing and homeless shelters for a year. Then I ended up in the group home.

That's real fucking life.

We don't all have a fucking support system or families that love us or even found families.

And it's uncomfortable and hard to deal with.

That's why it pisses me off so much when I see posts about people saying queer people deserve media that depicts happy queer people instead of tragedy. Because they do deserve happy media, but it's not real. It's not fucking real and it erases the stories of so many fucking people all because it makes YOU unfuckingcomfortable. And it sends kids out into the world naive and unprepared.

It asks queer people to silence themselves because their reality makes you sad.

But you don't care. All you care about is being offended by a satirical dramedy that you have completely misinterpreted.

[inahallucination]

how do you think the poets would react if they knew in 30 years there would be entire blogs dedicated to their gayness?? :0 {also i do still think you're very cool}

so this kinda turned into them somehow being able to access tumblr lol

charlie: would be so fucking thrilled,, a. he's famous, people now he's the shit now, b. it's gay like no further explanation needed,, it might be a bit strange since this is the 50's so an online blog is a pretty unique concept,, but i don't think he'd delve on it too much,, he’d definitely tease anderperry since they’re the most agreed on ship and i think he’d totally rank all the poets he’s shipped with and totally hold it over their head (”charlie can you-” “is that anyway to speak to someone you’re in love with?” but like to all of the poets since he’s shipped with all of them) 

cameron: i feel like he'd be really awkward about it,, like on one hand, i think he'd feel a little pleased, but on the other he wouldn't really know how to react, cuz man, this is the 50's the concept of a blog being dedicated to him would totally freak him out,, he’d say he doesn’t care about it, but he’d totally secretly read everything to “get an accurate assumption”

knox: him being gay would get in the way of him and chris, so he might not be too in love with the idea of it, but it's more of an annoyance that people don't really ship him with chris all that much that'd get to him

meeks: i feel like meeks wouldn’t even think about the dedicated part as much as he’d be completely enthralled by the futuristic tech,,, eventually though he’d try to see the content to decide if he likes it or not, he would and his favorite part would be the anderperry fanfiction, he’d tease anderperry about the m-e rated and cry over the fluff,, he also would really adore headcanons and go through all of them to find which ones are accurate or close  and which ones are completely wrong

pitts: same as meeks as in he’d be fascinated with the tech, i feel like he’d be pretty happy to know him and meeks are always together, even if some people don’t ship them,, i don’t know why, but i feel like he’d be pretty into theories and headcanons rather than flat out fictional (”todd, why didn’t you tell me you were a time traveler???” “...what?”) 

neil: oh he’d love every single part of it until he reads the angst,, he seems like the guy who likes to cry over fiction, but he wouldn’t like dps angst since the person being angsty is typically todd or charlie, he’d definitely avoid that whole mess, he’d be thrilled at all the anderperry content, and how it’s pretty much accepted as canon,, would definitely spends hours looking at fanart and edits. he read fanfiction but he stumbled upon an anderperry rated e pwp and couldn’t look todd in the eye after

todd: would be so flustered to see the blogs, i feel like there are a lot of blogs that are either named after todd or have him in the username that would just turn him beet red like, from the top of my head @toddmybeloved​ @gaytoddanderson​ (not to bother yall lmao but ur the first ones i thought of) ,, he’d be pretty flustered and i don’t think he’d manage to look through any thing tagged todd either,, he’d be pretty fucking happy with the neil and anderperry content tho (he read every neil being a simp post)

this is the time traveler thing btw by @aedan-mills

[beepboop358]

How I think the characters will react to Byler when it is officially officially confirmed in the show:

El: once El realizes she doesn't romantically love Mike, she will become an avid byler protector.

El is a badass independent woman with a pure heart of gold. She cares deeply for Mike because he was the first person to show her any sort of compassion, so she will want him to be happy, and after she grows closer to Will, she will want Will to be happy too. El won't understand the societal stigmas around Mike and Will liking each other, since she was raised in a lab away from society and then lived isolated in Hopper's cabin, she has no knowledge of what society deems right from wrong surrounding sexuality and love. She will think other people thinking Mike and Will's relationship is 'wrong' or 'unnatural' is utter bullshit and completely stupid, as she should!

Jonathan: he will be 100% supportive. He knows how Lonnie tormented Will and made homophobic remarks about Will being gay when he was younger. He has always encouraged Will to be himself and ignore what others say, especially what Lonnie says. Jonathan will also be a byler protector.

Jonathan knows Will isn't "normal", he even said Will was "good at hiding" in s1 which has several meanings, and he probably already knows Will likes Mike because of how he immediately turns to look at Will after Mike blurts out he loves El in s3 in Hopper's cabin.

s1 ep. 2: "He's trying to force you to like normal things, and you shouldn't like things because people tell you you're supposed too."

s2 ep. 1: "No I'm serious. You're a freak. But what? Do you want to be normal? Do you wanna be just like everybody else? Being a freak is the best. I'm a freak. Who would you rather be friends with? Bowie or Kenny Rogers? Exactly. It's no contest. The thing is, nobody normal ever accomplished anything meaningful in this world. You got it?"

------(Some subtle queer coding there with the Bowie reference; David Bowie was a bisexual musician, and he also sings the original version of the song "Heroes" that plays after Will's fake body is found in s1, and the lines that play while Mike cries and hugs his Mom are extremely queer coded: "And we kiss as though nothing could fall. And the shame.")

Nancy: It's implied Nancy and Mike are pretty close, and honestly I think she has always suspected that Mike has a little thing for Will. From the look on Nancy’s face when he blurts out he loves El, it kind of reads as like she doesn’t believe him, because she knows something.

s1 ep.7: "I knew you were acting weird, I just, I thought it was beause of Will"

Joyce: will be 100% supportive, and a protective mama bear of Will as always, but also for Mike. Joyce will join the club of avid byler protectors along with Jonathan and El.

Dustin: avid byler supporter. I think he's picked up on how much Mike cares for Will, how Will cares for Mike, and has probably suspected at least something this whole time. Dustin doesn't care about being considered cool he cares about doing what he likes and being true to himself, and that belief for sure translates into how he views his friends as well. He will absolutely support Mike and Will and treat them normally.

s3 ep.3: "Instead of dating somebody because you think it's gonna make you cooler, why not date somebody you actually enjoy being around?" s1 ep.6: "Sometimes your total obliviousness just blows my mind"

Max: She seems pretty perceptive, so she's probably picked up on Mike and Will's 'special dynamics' by now, and we know she's definitely sick of how Mike treated El. She will be supportive of Will and Mike, but mostly she will just be glad Mike isn't with El anymore LOL.

Lucas: I think he definitely notices Mike seems to reallllyyyy care for Will, and that Mike doesn't act the same about El, although he claims too. I think Lucas sees through Mike's bullshit. Look at his smirking face and crossed arms when Mike frantically asks where Will is in s2:

and how he reacts the same way to Mike blurting out he loves El and "can't lose her again" in s3:

Hopper: he will probably want to kill Mike again.

"wait what?! so.. let me get this straight...all that time you were making out with my daughter, you were just...pretending to love her? You lied to her the whole time you two 'dated' yeah? And now you're dating your best friend. Oh god wait, I watched you tell him that asking him to be your friend was the best thing you ever did that night in the shed... Oh you little asshole!"

I can't imagine Hopper being homophobic towards Will and Mike, but I don't see him jumping up and down for them either. He will mainly be upset that Mike dated El when he was actually in love with Will, and not care so much that Mike is in love with another boy, just another person. But once he processes that El is actually okay, he will be fine with it.

Lonnie: is the literal scum of the earth! Obviously Lonnie will hate that Will is gay and dating another man. He will probably make some comments about how he "always knew it" and call Will and Mike homophobic slurs, probably at Will's birthday.

s1 ep.1: "He used to say he was queer, called him a f*g"

Steve: "Oh you two little shits are dating now? But I thought he was into the psionic chick? No? Okay, alright cool. Uh hey have you guys met Robin yet? I think you would get along, you know what I'll introduce you." Steve was so accepting of Robin coming out to him, there's no way he won't have the same kind of reaction for Mike and Will.

Robin: once she gets to actually know them and spend time with them, she will adopt Mike and Will as her gay sons and inspire them to be themselves and help them out whenever they need it. She will also pick up on the fact that they like each other immediately. If we don't get this pairing in s4 because of location logistics, I really hope we get it in s5!!!

Erica: she won't be homophobic, but she just won't care too much.

Karen: will encourage Mike to follow his heart, and like whoever he likes, because a relationship needs real love to survive, and she knows all too well what it is like to be stuck in a relationship with no love, and she doesn't want that for her kids, she wants better for them. She wants Mike to be truly happy no matter what, and she doesn't want to see him repeat her mistakes. Karen will be very supportive of Mike, and probably defend him to Ted.

s1 ep.2: "All this that’s been going on with Will, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you. I just…I want you to feel like you can talk to me. I never want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. I’m here for you okay?”

Ted: he won't be as much of an asshole as Lonnie will be about it, but he will probably make some snarky comments.

s1 ep.7: “our son with a girl? *scoffing*”

[anarmorofwords]

Hi! You're probably not going to like this ask, but before getting into it I'd just like to say that this isn't meant as Kamala hate or anything, and I don't really want to offend.

Having said that, wouldn't it make sense that we get to see how Kamala treated Anna after she came out? It's in all likelihood one of the things that's weighing on Anna the most.

Obviously Kamala had her valid reasons: her parents aren't as liberal as the Lightwoods, she believes (knows?) their love is conditional as she's adopted, she's not white and not being heterosexual could further any treatment she's suffered from being different... Her reasons have already been listed multiple times by multiple people. Kamala has the right to stay in the closet and fear coming out. And while that shouldn't be villianised, we can't forget that closeted people can harm those around them.

If Kamala had kept treating Anna like a good friend, rumour would've sparked, and even if it was denied, she'd have been harmed by merely associating with Anna. Especially with the life Anna began leading; she could have been labelled as one of Anna's 'conquests' by the Clave. That, as we've established, is detrimental for her safety.

But at the same time, it would create a breach between Anna and Kamala. And Anna had the right to be hurt by it and weary of it when Kamala said she wanted a relationship.

If we look at it from that perspective, Anna's actions (though inexcusable in how they treated Kamala --who was also at fault for not accepting a negative for four months) make sense. Kamala wasn't only a fling of a week*, but also the girl she lost her virginity with, who asked her to be her secret (until she married Charles, after which Anna's affections would be discarded), who hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna suffered from homophobic commentary, and who now wants a relationship hidden from most of the people that know her.

Kamala shouldn't be forced to come out; but the harm that can do to the women she may engage with is reflective of what happens nowadays. I can mostly think of examples with gay men, so my apologies in advance. But how many women have seen their marriages ruined by their husband having affairs with men?

Creating characters that reflect a toxic part of the 'hidden' LGBT community shouldn't be seen as hating or villinifying. Thomas isn't out and he isn't labelled a villain by the narrative --because his actions don't harm anyone. The hate Alastair gets in-universe is because of his past as a bully, not because he's gay. Matthew's not fully out and he isn't villianised --like Thomas, because the decisions he makes to keep his sexuality hidden don't impact anyone negatively.

I'll even go as far as saying that not even the narrative villianises characters like Kamala and Charles. If it were, they'd be seen more like Grace in Chain of Gold. We'd see how Kamala's actions are affecting Anna's in more ways than anger (that in itself put the fandom against Anna), and the characters would note so. We wouldn't see scenes were Cordelia empathised with Charles, nor Matthew said he loved him.

Be it as it may, Kamala and Charles represent ugly parts of being closeted that can naturally occur when someone is in their position. LGBT people are human. Humans, when put into very difficult situations (and Charles risks his career; Kamala her safety), can make decisions that harm those around them. Consequently, the people they're harming have a right to feel, well, harmed in whatever range of ways --this goes mostly for Alastair, and very partly for Anna, whose treatment of Kamala was horrible.

Readers need to understand what is pushing these 'villianised' characters to harm (again, mostly for Alastair) the more prominent characters and go beyond how they are instantly depicted. Because these are complex characters based on complex real people influenced by very ugly realities we will move on from someday, but sadly not yet.

By the way, Charles and Kamala's situations aren't that similar beyond the closeted thing, but I crammed them together because of a post I saw you reblog.

Please understand I'm not justifying Charles's actions; that I understand the pain he's put Alastair through, and know that he shouldn't ever be near Alastair. Nor am I trying to justify Anna's actions nor hate on Kamala.

I'll just finish my pointless rant by adding that I do think cc has sensitivity readers. I think she asked a gay man to go through tec (I don't know if he still revised her other books, though), and know she asked POC's input when writing someone for their culture. I don't know much beyond that, but I doubt who revises her stuff is up to her. Wouldn't that be something the publisher is responsible for (honest question)?

*I've also noticed people using the argument that they didn't know each other long enough for Anna to harbour such ugly emotions towards Kamala, but Kamala also remembered Anna pretty deeply and is 'in love' with her. I just wanted to say that considering cc writes (fantastical) romance where someone can ask a woman they met two months ago marriage, stressing over time spaces doesn't make much sense. Just my take.

hi!!

alright, where do I start? probably would be best with stating that while I can analyse Kamala's situation with what I know/see/read about racism and discrimination and reasonably apply things I've read/heard from PoC to the discussion, as well as try to be as sensitive about it as possible, I'm still a white woman, so not a person that's best qualified to talk about this.

that being said - if someone wants to add something to this conversation, you're obviously more than welcome to, and if there's something in my answer that you don't agree with or find in some way insensitive or offensive - please don't hesitate to call me out on that.

back to your points though: (this turned into a whole ass essay, so under the cut)

I don't think Anna shouldn't be able to reminiscent on Kamala's behaviour/reaction to her coming out, or be hurt by it. what bothers me is the way CC talks about it - I can't remember the exact phrasing, but the post where she mentioned this suggested something along the lines of "you'll see how Kamala sided with the Clave and didn't defend Anna after her coming out", therefore putting the blame on Kamala and completely disregarding the fact that Kamala wasn't in position to do much at all. It suggest that their situation was "poor Anna being mistreated by Kamala". therefore I'm afraid Kamanna's main problem/conflict will remain to be portrayed as "Anna having to allow themselves to love again and forgive Kamala", while Anna's shortcomings - and Kamala's vulnerable position - are never discussed. I think it would be possible to acknowledge both Kamala's difficult situation and the possible hurt her behaviour caused Anna without being insensitive towards Kamala's character, but it would take a really skilled - and caring - author to do both of the perspectives justice. CC would have to find a balance between being aware of the racism/prejudice Kamala faced/ writing her with lots of awareness and empathy, and still allowing her to make mistakes and acknowledging them. As it is however, I'm under impression that she's just treating it as a plot device, a relationship drama.

I'd say no one expects characters of color to be written as flawless or never making mistakes, it's mostly the way these mistakes are written and what things these characters are judged/shamed/

And that's - at least in my understanding and opinion - where the problem is. it's that the narrative never even addresses Anna's faults, and portrays Kamala as the one that caused all - or most of - the pain, without ever even acknowledging her problems and background.

White characters in TLH make mistakes and fuck up - because they're human and they're absolutely allowed to - but the thing is, non-white characters aren't afforded that privilege. Anna's behaviour is never questioned - none of it, shaming Kamala for not being able to come out, dismissing her desire to be a mother, or any of the questionable things she did in ChoI. Same with Matthew, James, Thomas. Alastair and Kamala however? they're constantly viewed through their past mistakes, and forced to apologize for them over and over, forced to almost beg for forgiveness. Moreover, those past mistakes are used as a justification of all and any shitty behaviour the other characters exhibit towards them now, which is simply unfair and cruel. They're held to a much higher standard.

So I'd like to say that yes, Kamala was in the wrong to keep nagging Anna after numerous rejections, and she was in the wrong to not inform Anna about Charles prior to them having sex - but that doesn't give Anna a free pass to constantly mistreat Kamala. And let's be real, Anna isn't stupid - while at 17 she could be naive and uninformed, I can't imagine how after years of hanging out with the Downworlders and numerous affairs and being out and judged by the Clave she's still so ignorant about Kamala's situation. I definitely think she's allowed to be hurt, but to still not understand why Kamala did what she did? Anna isn't blaming her for not telling her about Charles earlier - which would be fair - but instead for refusing to engage in an outright romance with her. She's being ignorant - and consciously so, I think.

Overall, I think you're definitely right about how coming out - or staying closeted - can be messy and hurt people in the process, especially in unaccepting environments/time periods, and I've seen enough discourse online to know there will never be a verdict/stance on this that will satisfy everyone. I, for one, would really like to refrain from putting all the blame on a single person - but, at least the way I see it, CC is pointing fingers. maybe not directly, but she is. Kamala, Alastair and Charles have no friends or support systems, and the only people in the narrative that defend them are themselves (ok, Cordelia does defend Alastair from Charles, but not from shitty takes about him and his "sins"). Also, sorry, but I don't like how you say "hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna experienced homophobic comments" - it sounds very much judgemental. Kamala had every right to do that? The fact that she slept with Anna doesn't means she owed her something, and certainly not coming out and most probably destroying her life, or even defending her at the - again - expense of her own reputation, or more possibly safety.

As for Charles - it's a different issue here, at least imo - I fear that it'll be implied that his refusing to come out will is his main "sin", and therefore not something he can be judged for, which ironically, will be villainizing, but mostly will mean his actual sins are dismissed. This is where the scene with Cordelia feeling a pang of sympathy for him comes into play, and it worries me. I've never hated Charles for not wanting to come out, but rather for, let's see - grooming Alastair, disregarding Alastair's needs and feelings, disrespecting his mother, being a sexist prick, being low-key far-right coded "make Shadowhunters great again" etc.

As for sensitivity readers - I'm no expert, so I don't think my input is worth much. From what I've gathered from multiple threads/discussions on twitter, tho it is probably consulted/approved by the publisher, many authors push for that - and authors less famous and "powerful" than her. I'm not a hater, but seeing fandoms' opinions on much of her rep, I think she could do better. Because if she does have sensitivity readers, then they don't seem to be doing a great job - maybe they're friends who don't wanna hurt her feelings? Or maybe she thinks a gay guy's feedback will be enough for any queer content - which, judging by the opinions I've seen from the fans, doesn't seem to be true.

Again, these are mostly my thoughts and I'm more than open to reading other opinions, because *sigh* I really don't know how to handle this.

Bottom line - I really really don't want to be hating on the characters in general, playing God in regards to judging the struggles of minorities, or even criticising the characters too harshly for being human, flawed etc. What my main issue is is how CC handles those complex and heavy topics.

I hope I make sense and this answer satisfies you somehow - I also hope someone better equipped to answer might wanna join this conversation.

* I desperately need a reread of TLH before I engage in any more conversations like this, but I didn't wanna leave you hanging. So yeah, I might be remembering things wrong. Again, let me know, I'm very much open to being corrected as well as to further discussion.

* I use she/her pronouns for Anna because that's what she uses in canon

[madara-fate]

I also wasn't insinuating that MinaKushi or DanTsu are the only good examples of good romantic relationships (I don't even care about these pairing for the record, or any other pairing in Naruto). I'm just pointing out that people do not doubt that Minato loves Kushina or that Dan loves Tsunade. If Sasuke genuinely loved Sakura and Kishimoto did a good job at showing it, then there would not be a huge debate on whether he does love her or not, because it would be obvious to pretty much everyone that he does, whether they like the ship or not. The fact that it's not and that so many people still debate on this to this day either shows that Kishimoto did a poor job at showing Sasuke as a loving husband either that Sasuke does not love her, despite that "love is the real deal" line or his reply to Sarada's question. It's show vs tell if you know what I mean. On one hand he tells us that "love is the real deal" but on the other hand he does not really show it all too well, which makes many people think whether he truly meant those words or he was being sarcastic and simply mocked the fans. It's either a case of bad writing either Sasuke simply does not love Sakura. I personally don't know what to think. I tend to lean towards the first option, it may just be bad writing after all. He admitted he's not great at writing romance and to be honest? It shows. It is even implied they haven't kissed in Gaiden by Sakura looking sad when Sarada asked her if they ever kissed. And I know you like to refute that by saying that it's preposterous to think they haven't kissed when they obviously had sex in order to concieve Sarada, but the thing is, it is entirely possible to have sex with someone but not kiss. It really is. When you're having sex but you're not really enjoying it or when you have simply been pressured and pestered into having sex with a person. Sakura Hiden confirmed the fact that Sakura was determined to confess her feelings to Sasuke over and over again until he would've eventually reciprocated. She compared that with punching a villain over and over until they're defeated. Now please tell me, would it be so far fetched to consider that harassment? If someone tells you no once, you have to respect their rejection and stop pursuing them, not take it as a challenge to persist in reaffirming your feelings over and over again until they eventually get tired or take pity in you and accept to give you a chance. And even in Gaiden it was confirmed that Sakura had to chase after Sasuke. It's really easy to see this ship as... problematic, to say the least. I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt tho and blame it on bad writing rather than on Kishimoto simply implying SS is not really a loving relationship, but if other people are not convinced or deny that Sasuke loves Sakura, you have to let your bias aside and admit that they have reasons to believe that. The writing makes it really easy to interpret it either way, depending on your preferences.

I already answered a lot of the points you made here in my response to your previous ask, but it's important for people to remember the type of person Sasuke is, and understand that the manner in which he shows affection isn't the same as Dan or Minato. It's a lot more subtle. Are people doubting that Vegeta loves Bulma and Trunks? No, so then people need to ask themselves - in which ways has Vegeta demonstrated that he loves his family in ways that Sasuke hasn't? Both of them aren't outwardly affectionate, both of them aren't romantic, but both of them have undoubtedly demonstrated that they love their family. Yet, only one of them is questioned. It really is just a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" situation. If Sasuke acts all affectionate like Dan and Minato, people will claim that he's OOC (like they did for Sasuke Retsuden), but if he stays reserved and demonstrates affection in his own way, people will just turn a blind eye and say he doesn't care. It really just shows how little they actually know Sasuke's character. To think that Sasuke, who hails from the clan which values love above all else, would marry and start a family with someone he doesn't love.

On one hand he tells us that "love is the real deal" but on the other hand he does not really show it all too well, which makes many people think whether he truly meant those words or he was being sarcastic and simply mocked the fans.

People actually think that Kishi may have been "sarcastic" when he described their love as the real deal. Oh my goodness. Why would Kishi purposely give wrong information to the readers (and never reveal what's actually going on)? Why would he intentionally want the readers to misunderstand his story and characters? Why would he want to portray his 2nd biggest character as someone who would enter a loveless marriage when that literally goes against the ways of his clan and his entire character? Do people not listen to themselves?

It's like how so many people claim that Sasuke saying "because you exist" means that the only reason he and Sakura are still together is because of Sarada, and people really don't realise how stupid that sounds. They don't stop and ask themselves why Sarada would be brought to happy tears, why Chouchou would describe her as lucky, and why Naruto would give her a knowing smile, if Sasuke had really just insinuated that she was the only thing that was keeping her parents together:

They just don't think. They apparently believe that Chouchou was happily thinking to herself "aww, lucky Sarada, you're the only thing keeping your parents together!", and that makes sense to them apparently, Chouchou being so happy for Sarada after hearing such awful news. It's unbelievable.

And I know you like to refute that by saying that it's preposterous to think they haven't kissed when they obviously had sex in order to conceive Sarada, but the thing is, it is entirely possible to have sex with someone but not kiss. It really is. When you're having sex but you're not really enjoying it or when you have simply been pressured and pestered into having sex with a person.

This is just like the people who believe that Sasuke is gay, justifying their ridiculous claims by pointing out how "you can be gay and still marry a woman", and to that I always say - Why would Sasuke do that? Just like to you I'll say - Why would Sasuke do that? To have sex and not kiss? Why would Sasuke of all people be "pressured and pestered" into entering a relationship with someone? He obviously has no problem whatsoever with bluntly turning people down. If he doesn't want to do something, he's not gonna do it. Heck, if you're using Sakura Hiden to try and prove your points then I'll also use a novel to prove this one - The lipstick stain scene during Sasuke Shinden: The Teacher's Star Pupil, explicitly indicates that Sakura and Sasuke had kissed earlier that day. The motorbike scene during Naruto Retsuden has Sakura kiss Sasuke. Sasuke and Sakura having kissed, is not (and has never been) a topic that's open to discussion.

Sakura Hiden confirmed the fact that Sakura was determined to confess her feelings to Sasuke over and over again until he would've eventually reciprocated. She compared that with punching a villain over and over until they're defeated. Now please tell me, would it be so far fetched to consider that harassment? If someone tells you no once, you have to respect their rejection and stop pursuing them, not take it as a challenge to persist in reaffirming your feelings over and over again until they eventually get tired or take pity in you and accept to give you a chance. And even in Gaiden it was confirmed that Sakura had to chase after Sasuke.

I've already talked at length about that scene from Sakura Hiden so I won't do so again here, but I'll link the relevant post where I explained how that scene obviously was not meant to be taken as a negative comment, but people will of course just twist things in order to suit their own anti Sakura/SS agenda.

But if other people are not convinced or deny that Sasuke loves Sakura, you have to let your bias aside and admit that they have reasons to believe that. The writing makes it really easy to interpret it either way, depending on your preferences.

No, here's what people need to understand. If people think that Sasuke's love towards Sakura was not adequately shown, then that's a reason to criticise the writing. It is not however, a reason to deny what is canon. They are stating that Sasuke does not love Sakura, despite the fact that this has explicitly been stated. Sasuke loving Sakura is a canon fact, whether they like it or not. Criticise the execution all you want, I know I have plenty of times, but don't deny the truth. Hell, since you wanted to use the novels...

During Sakura Hiden, Sasuke rushed back for Sakura's sake, despite having ignored the village's prior pleas for help. What does that say about his feelings for her?

During Akatsuki Hiden, Sasuke described Sakura as "The Spring Sunshine" which illuminated his dark life. What does that say about his feelings for her?

What does basically the entirety of Sasuke Retsuden say about his feelings for her?

Many anti SS fans are always so quick to use the novels when it suits them. And then when a novel like Sasuke Retsuden comes along and completely shits over all their theories, they're just as quick to dismiss the novel as an OOC fan fic by a sub par author, figures. As far as I'm concerned, the manga is more than enough to show that Sasuke loves his family (seriously this really isn't up for debate), but I'll also definitely say that anyone who criticises SS and uses the novels as a point of reference, is in way over their heads.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

I lived right by San Francisco, CA which is probably the most liberal city in the entire US for like 95% of my life and I've still had crazy experience with people who are against the LGBT+. My didn't believe me at all when I told him I wasn't straight and I had to come out to my mom eight times before she even started to acknowledge it. The first time I told her we were in a car and she turned up the music until you couldn't hear either of us talk. (In hindsight this is kind of funny but still not cool) I told them I was trans when I moved away for college and they believed that it was my version of self harm. I've had people who I'd consider at the time to be my best friends tell me that gay people shouldn't exist, or that liking the same gender goes against nature. I've heard classmates proudly argue with each other about being more homophobic than the other. Someone told me once that I deserved to be s*xually assaulted because I was LGBT.

Unfortunately homophobes/transphobes exist even in parts of the world where being LGBT is largely considered to be okay, or even normal. Not that you're wrong about it sometimes just being a lack of knowledge or understanding, but at some point is just becomes an unwillingness to...not be a jerk. Anyways. They can all suck my dick. And fuck JK Rowling :)

Jesus fucking christ dude....

I don't even know what to say to this?

Like obviously nothing I do say would even come close to touching on how fucked up all that is and how really fucking sorry I am that you had to deal with that bullshit and how I intensely hope you have better & more supportive people than before and I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that I would deck someone in the face for you

And yeah I completely agree. Obviously homophobes/transphobes who are just overall assholes for the sake of it and are not willing to grow up, exist all over the world

I definitely wasn't trying to say every homophobe/transphobe is gonna see that they're being a douchebag for no reason and grow up into a good person. What I was trying to say is:

Where I live it's illegal to be gay (and though the law hasn't being put into action, it's technically punishable by 10yrs in prison) so it's very rare to meet people who are out (and this is in the city mind you, I can't even imagine how it is in rural areas).

While it's more accepted now, everyone here grows up with some homophobic views, it's not even that they were raised in a blatantly homophobic household. It's that no one even talks about people being attracted to the same gender so when you see that happening it's something strange and weird.

Usually these people aren't even actually against people being attracted to the same gender or people being trans. They'll say shit like "I don't care that you like gender A but why would you when you can have gender B. Don't you want kids?" Or "I just don't want society to hurt you so I think you should stick to *this thing you obviously aren't*" and they'll actually genuinely mean it.

But when those people get to actually meet and talk to someone from the lgbtq+ community or even if they're just exposed to lgbtq+ content through foreign media a lot of those homophobic/transphobic views just melt away.

But obviously there are still raging homophobes & transphobes, whose views won't ever change no matter what

It's why I ended the last post with this:

And seriously FUCK those people and FUCK JK Rowling

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

The Best Things ~ J.V. (part 12)

A/n: I would like to apologize for not marking warnings on each part like I should have been. I get too excited to post and skip over them on accident. I’ll do my best to add them from here on! Also, I was adding the warnings as I wrote but then they didn’t save so I tried to remember them as best I could. If I forgot anything, I sincerely apologize.

Warnings: Recounting past trauma (physical abuse, homophobia), explicit talk of death, badly handling others’ trauma, light smut (foreplay: slapping, choking, degradation, daddy kink, handcuff restraining, brat/dom dynamic, punishing, teasing, masterbation)

Word Count: 5200+

MASTERLIST

The air was so thick with tension that a knife could have cut through it. No matter how much Harley was fighting his instincts to lounge and be himself - the self Jeremiah was used to, at the very least - he felt like he had to be the self he used to be. The one Bruce was expecting. Jeremiah knew Harley was trying too hard, and Jeremiah was far too easy to read - which meant that Bruce knew too. So Harley sat there trying to behave and Bruce sat there brimming with suspicion and pain and hesitation and Jeremiah sat between the two boys, wishing this had never happened and he could just escape the two brothers who seemed seconds from either running or fighting.

Echo, as if sent from God, walked into the room with a pitcher of water. They were at Jeremiah's instead of Wayne manor as Harley had absolutely no intention of being back there or anywhere near Alfred. The butler was far too good at accepting change, which meant that the man might pick up on the fact that Harley was no longer Y/n and the whole thing would fall apart. Honestly, it seemed like so much work. Harley wasn't sure why this plan was so important but Jerome was feeding off of it so Harley did it anyway because he'd said he would. If this is where Jerome lead, Harley would follow.

"So," Echo cut into the silence as she walked around pouring drinks. "How is everyone this evening?"

Harley smiled at her, amused. She was poorly hiding a sort of awkward expression that was dashed with a little humor. She was mocking them in her head; Harley could almost hear what she was thinking. A bunch of dumb boys sitting around a table unable to swallow their pride. Idiots. "Oh you know," Harley mumbled casually, shrugging. "Indulging." He motioned to his food but his words were obviously directed at the ambiance.

"Having a good time?" Echo asked.

"Not at all," Harley immediately answered with the same casual, chipper tone. Jeremiah choked on his drink as he laughed at the exchange. The humor delivered saltiness in Harley's voice and the passive aggressive mocking in Echo's had always been an exchange that could make Jeremiah chuckle at least a little. Echo and Harley were very good at banter and it lightened the mood significantly every time they went at it. After all, it was just in good fun. Bruce seemed to relax as a smile curled everyone else's lips. "So... Harley." His lips seemed to want to reject the name.

Harley's smile dropped. Hearing Bruce call him that made him uncomfortable. Not just because he was nervous about Bruce not calling him Y/n as he had all up until this point but because he had cut Bruce out of this new life very purposefully and now... he was in it anyway. "Yes?"

Echo sighed and left the room as she sensed Harley jerk back, even with her attempt to loosen everyone up. Jeremiah focused on his food. Bruce looked at Harley but Harley did not look back, instead choosing to stare at the door Echo had gone through. "Why Harley?"

That was an easy question. "When I was in Arkham, a few of the guards used to beat the shit out of me every single day to try and convince me to be straight." Harley looked Bruce in the eye when he said this, completely calm. He had long since gotten over it. "They even put me in isolation to keep me away from people who might protect me or care about me."

"Jerome." Bruce didn't form it like a question.

Harley answered anyway. "Yes. But see this is a smaller world than everyone thought and my therapist, Harleen Quinzel, became my friend instead. She's like me, but for girls." Bruce nodded, accepting that. "They couldn't kill me without having to mark me as a loss. That and they'd have lost their punching bag. To teach me a lesson, they killed her. And then made sure the TV that was never supposed to be on the news would be on the news, on just the channel and at just the time that would allow me to see her bloody, bruised, cold, dead body strewn out for the public to see. And no one gave a single shit because no crimes in Gotham get solved unless someone important is involved. And even then- well, you know first hand."

Bruce's expression grew very dark. "I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't," Harley purred, still eating as if he was talking about the weather.

Jeremiah has stopped eating. "People are really like that?" His voice was small and his eyes moved to Bruce, his hands tightening around his silverware as if picturing Bruce's face cold and dead and staring at him through a TV. Bruce felt his eyes and looked back to Jeremiah, but the red head averted his gaze to Harley instead. "I mean, people really act like that just because of... how someone loves?"

Harley nodded, swallowing the food in his mouth. It tasted like sand but he kept eating it. It made him feel powerful to while the others in the room had forgotten their food altogether. Although... Perhaps he hadn't chewed it as well as he thought because it felt as if it had gotten stuck somewhere along the way. A thick lump had lodged for a second and a sick feeling had settled in the bottom of his stomach. He hadn't thought about that image in so long... the daily bearings and the isolation and the one ray of light he'd gotten being extinguished and displayed because he had dared to be himself and therefore allowed her to do the same. Because they were different than how most people were.

"Do you know who did it?" Bruce asked.

"Yeah." That didn't seem to be the answer Bruce was expecting. "This isn't great table conversation," Harley eased, changing the subject. "But that is why I go by Harley. Do you like it?"

Bruce shrugged. "Do you still go by Wayne?"

Internally, Harley sighed. "Harley Quinn."

At that Bruce nodded. "You're not coming back are you?"

Harley laughed dryly. "You're not very good at casual, light conversation are you Brucey?"

"Don't call me that," Bruce snapped, body going stiff.

Rolling his eyes, Harley sat back in his seat. "Why not?" It came out harsher than Harley had meant it.

Meeting hostility with hostility, Bruce got angry as well. "Because that's what Jerome called me, and after how many times he tried to kill me it's not a name I like."

"Get over it," Harley sneered. "It's just a name and we're in Gotham. Trauma is kind of a part of life here. Adapt or get trampled."

Bruce jerked back. "Get over it? Since when are you...?" He trailed off, as if hesitating, before his face set and he finished his sentence with a much harder tone. "Like Jerome."

Harley felt his knuckles turn white. "Stop saying that like it's a bad thing." "It is!" Bruce hissed.

Harley shot to his feet, dropping his silverware on the table. Jeremiah flinched but Harley didn't notice. Bruce did. "Look, Jerome is fucked up and dark and broken. He doesn't have a grip on reality or know how to human because he wasn't fucking treated like one. He killed people. He was crazy and insane and unhinged and dangerous. Yeah! You know what else he was? He was understanding and accepting. He got why people lived their lives differently than he did and didn't really judge anyone, ever. He thought they were boring and chose to live differently, sure, but he lived to make people laugh and have fun. Maybe his sense of fun was fucked up, but he genuinely just wanted people to laugh along with him for once. He didn't hide who he really was. He wasn't ashamed. He didn't shun me and shove me in a corner and try to change me. He accepted who I was. He CELEBRATED me. I'd rather be with him than at this stupid fucking dinner or anywhere near you because I'm not some poor gay boy who needs saving. I'm strong and I matter and I FINALLY love myself, and you won't ever take that away from me because you see self respect and see Jerome because no one taught you that you are more important than everyone else. I refuse to sit here and let you try and turn me into some pathetic whiny brooding mess who's never happy because my priorities are fucked up. I won't be you. That isn't my goal anymore."

The room was dead quiet. For a long time, no one said anything. The brothers just stared each other down until Bruce shook his head. "Perhaps this was a bad idea."

Jeremiah pinched the bridge of his nose. "You guys are idiots." The other two in the room looked at the red head with shock. "My brother is dead, and honest to god it's a relief that he is. He's out of my life and I'm safe from him. I never had the chance to have a real relationship with him. I used to read the newspaper about your family and think that you guys were some kind of dream. Two brothers that loved each other despite everything and parents that were like... actually good people on any level." He sighed. "Obviously I was wrong. You're too busy trying to make him how he used to be." This he directed at Bruce. "And you're too busy hurting and bottling up your emotions and pushing everyone away to let anyone care about you or see the real you." This was for Harley. Jeremiah didn't stop when both other boys went to speak though. "Just shut up and make this work because you guys are the only true family you each have left. Harley, you grew up and I have to say you wear your changes very well. You're happier and sturdier and if someone isn't happy about that then they're insane. Right, Bruce?"

The Wayne boy hesitated before giving in. "Yeah. I am happy for you. I should have started with that. I just... I'm scared for you."

"Why?" Harley demanded, exasperated.

"Because I don't want you to become Jerome. I don't want you to end up like that. I don't want you to be some criminal, when you used to be the best person I knew. You said your life goal used to be being like me? No. I wanted so much to be like you. You couldn't speak about a huge part of you, but you accepted it with the knowledge no one else ever would. I refused to even look at the fact that I'm attracted to guys until you and Jerome got together and then..." his eyes shot to Jeremiah and then back. "Things happened and- and you were always so bright and happy and free. Like a bird in flight or- something." He shook his head. "You were inspiring, Y/n. Seeing you like this... it looks like you've been broken. And I just want to bring back that light you had before. When you seemed so much happier."

"I'm not broken." Harley looked at the boy who was supposed to be his brother. The boy who used to be his best friend before one lie after another had pulled them further and further apart until they were on completely opposite sides. Secrets had torn their relationship up into so many little bits it could never be repaired. They were just too different now. "I'm not lost or struggling. I'm just not... sitting there and pretending all the bad things aren't happening. The friends I have now actually like and respect me as a person, not just because I'm Y/n Wayne. I'm myself, proudly, and I wear my experiences as a reminder of what I can endure. Things hurt less. What you see isn't some poor boy waiting to be saved. It's darkness. And maybe that scares you, because you're used to hiding your darkness. But darkness, Bruce, isn't a bad thing. Darkness is what makes us who we are. Like everything it can be used as a weapon, but Darkness itself isn't dangerous. What you do with it is."

Bruce considered that for a long time. "That... is a good point."

Jeremiah released a breath. "So... truce?" The boys looked at each other before shrugging. Harley sat back down. Jeremiah seemed pleased. "Okay, now lets talk about something a little more pleasant."

"So you mean literally anything other than what any of us have been up to recently?" Harley sassed. Jeremiah shot him a look. "Okay fine whatever." He searched for some light conversation. "So you guys are like boyfriends now or what?"

That seemed to make Bruce and Jeremiah both blush and the air in the room cleared significantly. Harley pulled off being cheery and invested as he teased and prodded and asked questions and engaged. Things almost seemed like they used to be when Bruce and Y/n would sit with their parents and Bruce mentioned a girl and Y/n would go off about how he was going to be the best man or the world would surely end... but Harley wasn't Y/n and Jeremiah wasn't their parents. This wasn't Wayne Manor and as good of a server as Echo was, she wasn't a butler. She wasn't Alfred.

Under the light tone, Harley formed a plan. A plan he carried out as he and Bruce began to hang out more and more as time passed that night and stretched for a while. Jerome became nocturnal in favor of being awake when Harley finally returned at home. The boys would spend some time together and then sleep and then Harley would wake up and go out and spend time with Bruce and Jeremiah again. Slowly the time with the other boys began to cut into Harley's time with Jerome and both he and Harley were getting restless. They'd begun arguing about it.

"Stay in tonight," Jerome whined.

"Bruce wants me to come back to Wayne manor tonight." Harley sighed, an odd expression on his face. "I've finally earned his trust and am getting along with him - as much as it pains me. I think Jeremiah is talking to him when I'm not around, convincing him to behave and respect my boundaries. He calls me Harley and has stopped expecting me to be the person I used to be. I don't know, I think he'll be enough to convince Alfred though I might have to try a tad harder." He rubbed his forehead. "Soon I'm sure I'll be chummy with them again and that'll definitely lead to interacting with all of Bruce's friends - which will be a whole other adventure of its own."

Jerome huffed. "If you're going back to Wayne manor, won't Bruce want you to move back in?"

The thought had occurred to Harley if he was being honest. Where did he draw the line in being buddy buddy with his brother again? Where did he stop things? How far did Jerome want him to go? "Probably," Harley voiced, shrugging. There was a long pause. Jerome was more guarded than he usually was and it set Harley on edge. When the red head did speak, it was in a dangerously quiet tone. "Would you go?"

"W- would you want me to?" Harley was distracted by the way Jerome's Adam's Apple moved when he swallowed.

Jerome hummed. "So this is still about what I want?"

That made Harley defensive. "You think I'm dealing with my arrogant brother because I want to?" It had a biting edge to it.

"And what about my brother?" Jerome pushed.

Now Harley was confused. "Jerome I did all of this for you. To convince them you were dead so you'd be free to have some free time and then make your grand entrance whenever you wanted to. I did this because you asked me to." Jerome rolled his eyes. "You've been gone a lot. You come home... lighter. You enjoy your time with them."

"I'm sorry, you WANT me to come home miserable?" Harley sneered, his hands coiling into fists.

Jerome's eyes darkened. Harley realized what was happening. Before he could react, Jerome's hand shot out, fingers curling around Harley's throat. Jerome pressed his boyfriend against the closest wall, his face close and words sharp like knives. "You're getting angry again. Talking to me like that, as if I'm one of our dumb brothers or that blonde idiot Jeremiah carries around. You might have been gone for a while now, but SURELY not long enough to have forgotten to respect me."

Harley gasped, eyes fluttering closed. Jerome's grip wasn't dangerous but it could go that way if Harley wasn't careful. Jerome only ever got like this when he was frustrated. Usually when he was bored and wanted to do something other than sit around. To be fair, he was cooped up which was something he HATED to be. He hated feeling trapped. And on top of that Harley had been spending less and less time around the place. It was a miracle the redhead had behaved so long. Harley had spent more nights with Jeremiah, talking to Bruce so late into the night and fake catching up and playing nice that it was just easier for them both stay at Jeremiah's. Alfred had even gotten used to a simple text from Bruce letting the older man know where he was and that he was safe. If Bruce wasn't home by 10pm Alfred had come to expect that he wouldn't be back at all. It had become a sort of habit.

Perhaps Harley had been a tad neglectful.

He sighed, letting his guard down and releasing all the tension he'd gained from being around Bruce. Jerome didn't deserve this. "I'm sorry, you're right." Jerome didn't let up. "Oh so you shoot me puppy dog eyes and say sorry and that's supposed to be it?" Harley could feel his insides warming as Jerome grew closer, the air in the room slowly becoming infected with sexual tension. The sudden mood change was hard for Y/n to switch gears to, even though he was immediately eager. "You've forgotten who you belong to."

"I-"

Jerome's hand tightened on Harley's throat, cutting off any attempt to speak. "What was that?" Harley coughed a little as the initial shock took him off guard. His eyes fluttered but he could still breathe which is what mattered. "Come on, Harley. Come on, Y/n." Harley jerked at the name. "Is that what you want me to call you? Is that who you want to be?"

Harley wasn't dealing with that shit. His body jerked, arms wrapping around Jerome. He pulled hard, twisting to turn Jerome around so he'd have to let Harley go, or risk hurting his arm. As predicted, Jerome let go. Harley twisted their bodies with extreme force, pushing Jerome's face into the wall aggressively. "What the fuck did you call me?" He growled. The words were raw from his throat being a little sore. It made Jerome smile. "Answer me. Now." Harley let his free hand thread into Jerome's hair. He pulled, the red head squirming underneath him as it began to hurt. "I said, now."

"I called you Y/n," Jerome answered softly. His tone was half reluctance and half defiance. He didn't want to answer Harley like he'd been told to, but saying the name again did give him power.

Harley leaned back, pulling Jerome away from the wall just by his hair. He dragged him over to the bed. "Kneel. Now." Jerome was giggling as Y/n hurt him, getting off on the pain. "NOW, Valeska!" Jerome smirked, taking his precious time with following the order. When he was down, Y/n maneuvered his face into the bed. "Stay there. If you move, I will know and you will be punished. I will be back in a moment." He left Jerome there, ducking out of the bedroom to the trunk in the bathroom, shoved in the closet. He opened it, pushing around some things they'd collected in their time together. This was the stuff they used when things got more kinky. Handcuffs Jerome had gotten from cops even before he and Y/n were together. Rope from a construction sight. Some things were specifically from sex stores - stolen of course.

Ignoring most of it, Harley grabbed the handcuffs and went back into the room. He returned to see Jerome had indeed moved. In fact he was sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his hands. He was smirking at Harley, a dare in his eyes. The red head seemed to be expecting Harley to lose his shit, but Harley didn't. Instead, he got very still, thinking. That seemed to actually make Jerome nervous.

Slipping the handcuffs into his back pocket, Harley slowly approached Jerome. His eyes cut into Jerome's soul, his jaw so tightly shut that Jerome shivered. "What, you think you're going to look at me and-?"

Jerome didn't get to finish his sentence. Out of nowhere, unexpectedly, Harley backhanded Jerome, causing the sitting boy's head to snap to the side. The red head was shocked, but found his stomach twisting with the familiar sensation of arousal. This wasn't like when he was a kid. Harley was calm and controlled - even his hit was direct. There was a safety in the way that Harley controlled himself. Jerome didn't fear him. It left room to enjoy what was happening. Harley gripped Jerome's jaw, bringing the red head's brown eyes around to meet his. "What did I say when I left the room, Jerome?" Harley not using a pet name in a sexual situation made Jerome shift nervously. Was Harley actually mad? "You told me not to move."

Harley released a breath, smirking as he got turned on just by getting Jerome to answer his question without being pushed. When Jerome was being bratty, he refused Harley any amount of control. So when he let up even the smallest amount, it never failed to excite Harley. "And what did you do?" Unwilling to let Harley win twice in a row, Jerome shrugged. Harley slapped him again. The red head blinked, breathing sharply outward as he felt the stinging on his face. "I moved."

A hum came from Harley as he stood, crossing his arms. "You know I had to punish you for using the wrong name, but it was going to be pretty light. Now..." Jerome shivered under that look - like Harley was trying to figure just how to kill him. "I'm going to take your clothes off Jerome. If you fight me, you'll get immediate punishment do you understand?" Jerome nodded. Harley rose an eyebrow.

"Yes, Daddy."

That seemed to please Harley. He stopped glaring at least. First Harley removed Jerome's shirt. Then he gently nudged Jerome, and the redhead followed the flow and laid back on the bed. Harley then removed his pants, and his socks one at a time. Slowly. Jerome felt himself get antsy. "Do you want something, baby?" Harley asked evenly.

"I'm fine," Jerome responded.

Unfortunately for him, his erection gave him away. "You don't want me to do... anything?" Harley asked again, pausing to look at Jerome very carefully.

The redhead looked back for a long time, a battle happening between the two men. Jerome lost. "Jesus Christ Harley, touch me."

That got Harley to smile. "Ask nicely J, or I'm going to have to punish you." Jerome went to glare but Harley reached up, threading his fingers through Jerome's hair and pulling roughly. "Listen here bitch, I'm not here to mess around. You're going to listen to me or you're going to regret it, understand?" They had come a long way since having sex in a cell and trying to keep quiet. Back then, Harley had fumbled and blushed a lot and been overwhelmed very easily. Back then, Jerome would stretch out, getting comfortable as he bossed Harley around - a true power bottom. Or, he would top, and then he'd get very soft and quiet and affectionate... Well, compared to how he usually was when he was impossible to please and degrading to an extent that had driven Harley insane.

Now adays, things were different. There was a huge power play between the two men constantly, and endlessly pushing buttons. What would often happen was that Harley would be a bit of a brat but otherwise let Jerome blow off steam, unless it was a day that Jerome desperately wanted Harley to "take hold and ruin" him. A direct quote from the ginger. On those days, Jerome did what he did best: he kept talking. He said all the things he knew would piss off Harley the most, like calling him by his old name. He would make Harley snap and then Harley would retaliate exactly how he wanted.

Not today.

"Fuck, you're such a baby," Jerome grumbled, rolling his eyes. "I'm bored with you playing daddy, I already know all your moves and we both know that you're just going to give me what I want anyways. You're a soft top, Sweetheart." He was smirking, proudly flaunting the power he usually had over Harley.

Today though, Jerome had pushed him too much. After all the shit he'd gone through with Jeremiah and Bruce, hearing Jerome call him Y/n had pushed him in a way that had sent him over the edge. And if he was being honest, he had his own frustrations. He wanted to run free as much as Jerome did and break things and scream as loudly as he wanted and sock his stupid brother in his face any time he dare even mention Jerome's name in Harley's presence. He was tired of behaving. He was tired of feeling like some toy. He was tired of being used. He was really, REALLY fucking tired of being ignored, too.

Harley's smile was dangerous. Jerome looked at him, unsure of what was going through the other boy's head. "You know, you have a little too much attitude for someone who's currently desperate for me to touch him. You want something from me? You need to learn some respect." Harley reached over, grabbing Jerome's wrist and forcing it toward the top of the bed. It happened so fast that only when Harley had used one cuff to get Jerome's right hand, and then had threaded the second cuff through the bars at the head of the bed, did Jerome react.

"HEY!"

At the outburst, Harley didn't hesitate to slap Jerome again. The redhead gasped, body shivering. He would absolutely never admit it, but this kind of aggression had always turned him on, when he was comfortable with the person. He'd wanted someone to be like this with him for ages, but not many people were willing to go far enough to please Jerome Valeska. By the way Harley was looking at him right now, this time might be different.

"I didn't give you permission to speak. Granted, I didn't tell you to shut up either so I'll be forgiving, but if you shout at me one more time you will regret it." He gripped Jerome's other wrist, cuffing that as well. Now Jerome's hands were over his head, trapped by the cuffs and the bar. "If you want to say something, I want you to address me first. I will allow you to continue then. Or I will not." Jerome hesitated, then nodded, intrigued by this side of Harley even he had not the pleasure of exploring before.

What came next surprised Jerome. Harley didn't take him right there, rough and hot. He didn't move slowly around and tease until Jerome wa a desperate mess of begs and whimpers. Harley didn't touch him at all. In fact, he moved off of the bed completely. He left the room even, returning a moment with a chair. Only then did he undo his own clothes, only lowering his pants enough to allow himself access his erection. He didn't even pull his pants off all the way! Jerome felt completely exposed, tied up and naked for viewing pleasure, when Harley was so far away and completely dressed.

To Jerome's intense frustration, Harley sat down on the chair and began stroking himself, eyes on Jerome. Harley's eyes were wide and lust blown, his tongue flicking out every once in a while to wet his lips. After a while, his eyes fluttered shut and his head tilted back just a little as a small moan came from him.

Jerome shifted. He was getting uncomfortable with how long he'd been hard without being touched, and watching Harley be like this was not helping. Jerome really liked to be involved in sexual acts. He had gotten rather pouty anytime Harley was caught masterbating, and there had been an unspoken rule that Harley didn't really restrain Jerome for stuff like this. If Harley wanted to be touched, Jerome would touch him. They both preferred it that way. This was ridiculous, and frankly rude. Jerome wasn't going to give Harley the upper hand. This was a low blow and he wasn't going to let Harley get away with it.

As Harley continued though, getting more into it and completely ignoring Jerome, it was becoming increasingly hard to keep his mouth shut. Trying to play it off like he didn't care as much as he did, Jerome finally spoke up. It had seemed an eternity for him, but it had actually only been a few seconds and Harley had to swallow his smile to not give himself away. "Okay Harley, very funny. Let me touch you. I'm sorry I called you the other name. You know I can do this better than you can. Let me out." When Harley continued to ignore Jerome, the cuffed ginger raised his voice. "LET ME OUT!"

"Why?" Harley growled, eyes finally on Jerome again. "Because you told me to? Because you asked me to?" He stood, pulling his pants up again. "I'm not your little bitch Jerome, you're mine. You want to kill someone? Fine. You want to steal or break something? Fine! But you don't call me by that name. You don't mess with me, because I'm all you got. If you want me to leave, you ask like a big kid."

Jerome's lips twitched, slowly rising into a smile. "Are you actually mad at me?"

Harley grinned. "No, not really." They both cracked up, losing it for a few extended seconds. Then Harley cut off and Jerome faded into quiet, soft chuckles as Harley began to speak. "I respect you, J. My little joker." He moved towards the bed, caressing Jerome's cheek. The ginger leaned into the touch, his eyes closing. He fed off of the contact, as if it was a drug or he was starving and the gesture fed him. Harley smiled softly. "You gotta respect me too. You don't have to piss me off to get me to break you, joker. All you have to do is ask me nicely, like a good boy. Do all the bad things you want. But not to me."

A sigh escaped Jerome, and then he finally gave in. "If I behave will you let me out? I want you to touch me. Please."

That pleased Harley. "That's what I wanted to hear." He leaned back a little, eyes scanning Jerome's exposed body. "I will let you out. And then it's time to play for real." His eyes glinted with a darkness that made Jerome jerk in expectation. Needless to say, Harley didn't disappoint.

-

Story Tags: @wanna-plan-world-domination​

[newcatwords]

approaching very old stories, stories from ancestors, stories from elders

inspired by the thread "How to Read Myths and Folklore" by Mythological Africans, i'm sharing my approach to very old stories, stories from ancestors, and stories from elders.

while i hope that this might be useful to any reader, the context here is that i'm a westerner who grew up in a western family with western values. i was educated in western schools with their values.

the mainstream white western relationship with very old stories is complicated. the abrahamic stories (judaism, christianity) are well-respected, but even most of the west's own old stories (norse stories, greek stories, little old village stories, etc.) are treated as myths (in the sense of "things people used to believe as true but that are generally no longer considered true because of scientific advances in understanding about the world").

among western peoples, most of what might be called "indigenous" culture (including stories) was suppressed & destroyed a very long time ago. christianity has been dominant in europe for so long that aside from things like the old religion of ireland, very little remains that's commonly known. specific national stories might be historical epics/legends, "fairy tales", & "mythology." often pre-christian beliefs in europe are lumped into a sort of generic "nature worship" and then dismissed.

the mainstream white western attitude is that there is little of value in very old stories for people today. newer knowledge is more highly valued. there are people who still study aristotle, etc., but generally, aside from judaism & christianity, there aren't many extremely old stories that western people value today. and many westerners are not religious & don't take their peoples' religious traditions seriously either.

(i would argue that part of this skepticism comes from the triumph of science in setting itself up as the only source of truth. part of it also comes from the fact that most of the old stories are religious, from large, patriarchical, institutionalized religions that have abused the idea of "listen to your elders" to keep people down. by not being wise elders, they have made people not trust them and also not trust the idea that listening to one's elders is important. these elders tell women to submit, tell gay people they are going to hell, claim to be virtuous while abusing children, and all the other things that have shown them to be bankrupt. there is no trust.

even aside from religious elders and ancestors, other thinkers from europe's past (ancient philosophers, national heroes, etc.) were not good people who had all kinds of terrible ideas, including racism, sexism, support for imperialism and monarchy, support for slavery, support for exploitation of natural resources, etc. the western (liberal) story goes: "people in the past were barbaric and we are more enlightened now." because of the universalizing part of western culture, this is treated as true for all people everywhere, not as something that's specific to particular peoples.

in western education, we usually don't learn that among many peoples of the world, ancestors & elders are considered wise, trusted, caring, and had many gifts to share with younger generations. i believe it's important to understand this when listening to & reading very old stories. not to say that elders were *necessarily* wise, but to accept that people from different groups see their own ancestors and knowledge passed down from ancestors in different ways.)

after considering all that, here are some specific ways i approach very old stories, stories from ancestors, and stories from elders:

first, i think about the source of the story i'm reading/listening to. how did this story come to cross my path? who is telling it? are they telling a story from their own people? what are the conditions under which i am encountering this story? among many peoples, sharing a traditional story is not done lightly. as a listener, i understand that it's an honor to be an outsider hearing a story. i have to understand who i am, who the speaker/writer is, what is our relationship (are we a settler & a colonized person? are we an "educated" person and a person from the village? it makes a difference!) who is the speaker/writer's intended audience, what is the context in which i am receiving this story?

here is an example: i live on hawai'i island (i'm a white (but also jewish and immigrant) settler on hawaiian land). every year there's a large festival and competition of hula (traditional hawaiian dance) called merrie monarch. hula is an ancient art form, sacred to the goddess laka. hula is often accompanied by singing, chanting, and is a whole performance. there's a huge variety: hula can be for ritual, for entertainment, to tell/perform historical stories, to prepare for battle, to be playful, to welcome visitors, to welcome the birth of a child, and for many other purposes. there are similar dances all across the pacific, and usually groups come from all over the world to share the very best they have to offer. as such, it's an important event for hawaiians and for other pacific people.

here are some excerpts from merrie monarch 2019 to give you an idea of what it's like:

if i'm in the audience, or watching merrie monarch on tv, i have to understand that i'm an outsider spectator and that this event is mainly by and for hawaiians and other pacific people. i am an outsider who they have graciously let in to their culture in this way. i think it's important to understand all this in order to take the proper attitude towards old stories. see them as a gift from the speaker/writer/performer that one is being allowed to hear. the next thing to consider: who is the teller? in english (the only language i have experience reading stories in), we often get stories from non-western peoples as filtered through white westerners. i take all of these with a grain of salt. if at all possible, i try to find the story as told/written by someone *from the group* that the story is from. i mostly skip over retellings/interpretations by white westerners entirely. if the story is within an anthropology text, i'll try to get any historical context that the anthropologist provides, and then just read the story itself. white western interpretations of non-western stories are usually a garbled mess. translations can also be a minefield. here in hawai'i, anthropologists & folklorists have been "recording hawaiian stories" for over a hundred years. it's a complicated history of tellings of tellings, translations that have become canon, and more. (if you're interested in learning more, i recommend the excellent book Mai Paʻa I Ka Leo: Historical Voice in Hawaiian Primary Materials, Looking Forward and Listening Back by M. Puakea Nogelmeier. it discusses the formation of an english-language canon of a huge archive of hawaiian-language newspapers, which contain many serialized stories & legends.) although it may seem difficult, i encourage you, the reader, to learn about the complicated landscape around the story you're reading/listening to. in other words, how did this particular version of the story come to end up with you? the preface and introduction in a book can often provide a lot of background info on the text in your hand. you don't want to be reading the hand-me-down version of some white supremacist's version of the story, assuming that that's really the story of a certain people! if at all possible, try to get to the actual words of the people whose story it is. also, consider that like hula, "stories" are not just the words, but might include the dance, the music, the performance, how the words are delivered, etc. "the story" might be all of those things together. the listener/reader's understanding might only arise from having that whole experience...without it, you might not get the actual message the story is meant to give. a story that might seem violent and off-putting in text, it might turn out that it's commonly told around a campfire to entertain children, complete with fart sounds and jokes. knowing that is important. that kind of story is very different from a story told during a ritual, or a creation story. aside from the conditions under which the story is told/performed among a people, it's important to know how old the story is. i've seen anthropologists describe stories from the late 1800s as "very old." i would dispute that characterization. generally, the older a story is, the more carefully i listen. often the storyteller will tell you the age and context of the story. they might say "this is a story i heard from my elders. this story has been among our people for many generations." ok, so i am about to hear a story passed down for many generations...it's a story that people remember and a story that people think is important enough to pass down to their children, who in turn remember it and pass it down. how many stories do *i* have like that? exactly zero. so in my mind, when i hear "this is a story that's been passed down among my people for generations," i listen carefully because something important is about to be shared. the teller/writer will often also tell you why they're sharing the story or who it's meant for. i've heard things like "this story is important not just for

our people, or for indigenous people, it's important for people all over the world." well in that case, i better listen. sometimes they might say "we are recording this story for younger generations", to help their own people remember their peoples' stories. stories told to anthropologists can be a whole minefield. imagine you're minding your own business at home, when an anthropologist shows up and wants to ~record your stories~. why? just because they're interested and want to share them with their pals back home. now imagine that those anthropologists are of the same background and from the same people who have colonized your land, enslaved your people, driven your people from your land, and continue to marginalize your people. this anthro might claim they're "not like that", but once you've given them the story, maybe you never hear from them again and you never even see what they actually wrote in their book. it's important to remember that there's a story extraction history. white westerners have built careers off "harvesting" stories from non-western peoples. what have they given back? it's even worse when you consider that many white members of the academy are seen as "experts" on the culture they study (even if their understanding is poor!), while members of that culture are excluded from the western academy and can't get their works published. it's important to consider that history when reading stories in anthropology (and similar) books. many people have had generations of anthropologists come and go, all asking for stories. let's just say that i wouldn't blame them if they gave a silly or "fake" story to the latest generation of clueless white anthro. i have no way to know how common it is, but i've read at least one story that led me to wonder "is the person telling the story just taking the piss out of this anthro?" how many stories might subtly mock or poke fun at the westerner and the westerner doesn't even realize it? it's something to consider. which brings me to the next thing i consider: many meanings. oral traditions are often incredibly rich and nuanced. some stories are straightforward (maybe it's a story to entertain) and some stories have *many* layers of meaning, including historical, political, serious, humorous, and much more. you might have to hear the story or understand the tone the teller uses in different parts of the story to understand whether something is meant to be serious or funny. you may have to know a lot about the history, culture, and context of the story to understand all the layers. (for an excellent example from here in hawai'i, i recommend the book Ka Honua Ola: ‘Eli‘eli Kau Mai / The Living Earth: Descend, Deepen the Revelation by Pualani Kanaka‘ole Kanahele. she goes line-by-line in several important chants discussing the multiple meanings.)

anyway, these are the main things i keep in mind when approaching ancient stories, stories from ancestors, stories told by elders. i hope this helped you. if you see anything i've gotten wrong, please let me know! thank you for reading.

[daydreamrry]

What saddens me the most is how at this point it feels like a competition between us (the fans ) and H&O. It's like bcuz we keep pointing out how fake they look and how pathetic this makes them seem they turn out to do it even more and go extreme. I mean the massive amt of pics they leak just screams "here suckers you think we fake look at me roaming around London and LA w this woman you think I'm gay? Look at me kissing this woman and sneakily taking pics of her and coming to kiss her all while she's reading a book" like it's not even funny it genuinely hurts me to think how drifted I feel from him as a fan. Like hazza , we're not against you we're not your enemies we're just simply pointing it out bcuz it's ruining your image , your career , it's not fair to you or to her family and her kids. The most annoying thing is when i say anything abiut olivia and my friends or holivia shippers say why do you care he doesn't even know about your existence and honestly I'm aware duh but it's the fact that them doing every legit intimate/non-intimate thing a couple could do they do it public and shoving the pictures down our throats is so wrong and insensitive. Like what do you wanna prove? It's like i feel like genuinely apologising to the holivia shippers for fantasizing about me and harry together. Like dude ik it won't be true, ik I'm just a fan chill but me calling out Olivia for being an attention seeker, a lesbophobic, a racist has got nothing to do w jealousy. It's got to do with facts that's been proved. It's got to do with how genuinely pathetic of a human she is. And trust me at this point I don't even like harry. Genuinely, I've stopped stanning him not because he is a homewrecker but because he is continuing with this stunt still. He is easily letting her take advantage of his popularity and how fucking disgusting it is how she keeps acting as if she's a victim and Harry's fandom sends her hate when she fucking literally is playing with us and he's allowing her to . Like as fans very honestly he doesn't do anything for us , he goes to tour bcuz yes he likes to and likes to meet fans but it's also coz it's important for him to make money and he honestly loves this "untouchable guy" image that his management has created. We have no idea where he is most of the times nd then one day he decides to show up in the spotlight again holding hands with a woman who is actually her boss. I honestly don't believe Jeff is trying to ruin harry. They have been good friends for a long while, harry isn't forced to do anything by his management he shows up when he wants to, he makes music at his own pace , he writes about whatever he wants to, whether he's gay or not doesn't matter he made the lights up music video if his management really had to hide his sexuality and throw in Camille and others as a beard they won't even allow such a music video which would raise so many questions. They know that nowadays it's all about being open and supportive so if harry really is gay they are smart enough to not hide it and be supportive of him bcuz that would make them seem good in the gp so it really is either Harry's own personal choice to hide or he's genuinely straight( personally i think he's straight) and hamille was no beard it was pr but it was also real, holivia might also be real but what the main problem with this one is

Is that not only is it destructive of them, their management, their families, their careers, the movie and the other actors it is also not acceptable in any way for two people to be so highly unprofessional to just be in a relationship and not even hide it until the shooting was over. You can't just be like I fell in love what could we do? You can't just let your feelings just so easily get in the way of other things. If it's actually true love with an element of pr its still wrong. Bcuz she didn't think of Jason doesn't matter if they were already on the edge of breaking up, what matters is when you have a baby with someone you're always gonna be family and it's not right to just forget about then and be like it just happened like no you have ethics and responsibilities. This goes for harry too.

As laughable and entertaining this stunt is , it also should be a wake up call for all of us especially who believe it is wrong and is a stunt to not watch dwd, to not follow Olivia, to not search her on Google. They both made a mistake and they should pay for it its only fair. Especially Olivia

And for harry I just hope he realises how valuable and important fans are. We are not shits you can manipulate with , we dont deserve paying money for concerts and not having any guarantee whether it's gonna happen or not untill the end moment, we dont deserve to just be ignored and only be cared for when theres new music or a movie coming up . I hope he learns that even if he's a big star he's not as big as selena gomez, Ariana Grande, Taylor ,Justin or Billie. Even they're super busy but they do things for the fans, there's a gratefulness you can sense, they communicate. But if he continues to be so complicated and drifted he'll lose his fans and I believe he's smart enough to know that by this point!

not gonna lie, this made me tear up.

thank you for sharing this! i think it’s really important for us to talk about this situation and share our thoughts because this is really affecting his fans, in a bad way, and is causing people to drift away from him.

i completely understand and agree with everything you said, especially the part about this being unprofessional. it’s wrong in so many ways. if you look at it from the real side: she cheated on jason, a man she’s been with for 9 years and has 2 children with. harry knew she was with him and has kids, she brought her daughter to the DWD set, yet he didn’t think or care about that. they had an affair while she was still engaged, and she went “public with her bf” just a month or two after calling the engagement off.

the PR side: harry agreed to be in a fake relationship with an engaged woman who has children to promote her career, and to promote the movie (that already has such a talented cast). she’s putting her children on the line just to get more attention and promo for herself. their teams have created such a messy storyline that’s fucked both of them, and there’s no turning back.

this entire situation is messed up, and i hope both of them realize that.

[justanotherlifeff]

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm.

Levi POV

The M.P expected us to turn Eren in after the failed operation but Erwin apparently had a plan. I woke up and went to the dining hall to find (Y/N) making tea. Just two cups for today. She avoided looking at me. Her eyes were puffy which meant she cried to sleep. I never thought the death of our comrades would make her cry. She didn't seem like someone who would cry about what happened in the past that easily. I didn't want to judge her though because even if I didn't see her get too close to anyone from the team, she still must have cared. 

"Rough night?" I asked her as she set down a cup of tea and some biscuits in front of me. "Yeah. A bit" she answered and took a sip of her own tea. There was an awkward silence between us as I didnt know what to say to her. "I wish I died instead. Things would've been better that way" she murmured again and took a biscuit from the plate. "Don't say that. What happened has happened. We can't change anything and I'm glad that you're alive. You're a big asset to the team" I replied. I knew I was bad at giving condolences to people but this probably was the worst I've ever done. 

"You aren't glad captain. Wouldn't you have preferred it if Petra was alive instead? After all, you were supposed to get married to her. I... I could've saved her you know. But I didn't because I had some personal issues with her. I wasted that one second of advantage that I had over the female titan just because I didn't know which would've been the right decision. The one I made was clearly wrong, by general ethics and also because it caused a lot more trouble for you and uncle Erwin. The most horrible thing about it is that I… I felt relieved that she's out of my way. I regret the fact that my decision made someone lose their child and someone lose their… loved one. What I did is a punishable offence and I would gladly accept my punishment." she said looking down at the table. 

I sighed at that. Of Course she had something to do with this. Someone with her level of skills could've easily gotten out of that situation. 

"(Y/N), I will be blunt with you. What you did was selfish, irresponsible and immature. I won't go on with the ethics here because I personally killed people who had a problem with me back in the underground. However, (Y/N), we are not underground now. We are up here where ethics have value. I personally made some very immature mistakes during my first expedition too, trying to kill Erwin. That got the two people I ever gave a damn about killed. I won't report this to the higher ups because I tried to kill a comrade on my first expedition too due to my selfish whims. However, (Y/N), if anything like this happens again, I won't hesitate to report to Erwin. I care about my comrades and you will have to take responsibility for such actions. The titans are already out to kill us during the expeditions and killing each other won't help humanity or your goals. I won't ask you to be ashamed of what you did. You made the decision and you are owning it. However, I am not proud of what you did. I expected you to be able to keep your personal feelings out of your job. By the way what do you mean by that deal about marriage? Petra had a crush on me but the feeling wasn't mutual. I wish I transferred her to another squad but I can't change anything now. Petra and I weren't supposed to get married. She just ranted about it to her father I suppose so that he could convince me." I said to her in a monotone voice, wondering if that thing about marriage that Petra probably bragged to (Y/N) about made (Y/N) make such a bad decision while her eyes widened.

 "But I saw you two kissing... " she started when I interjected "she just confessed her feelings to me then and kissed me out of nowhere and you opened the door before I could process the whole information and push her off me." I explained. "But she told me you are dating her..." she started again and I interjected again to say "She was bluffing" this time annoyed because she just isn't getting the message. "But why.." she started again and I stopped her again to say, "because I like someone else you idiot! ". 

At this point, she looked like someone punched her in the gut as a flash of regret glinted in her eyes. It passed in mere seconds before she looked surprised at me and asked, "Heichou, don't mind me asking but are you gay? And is that Eren?" The look on my face probably made her understand how ridiculous that theory is. Why did she even assume that? "Sorry for assuming. But if you're not gay, it must be Hanji.." she muttered and I could see a speck of sadness in her eyes. Does that mean she likes me too? 

"Why would I even like that titan loving shitty glasses? She's like a sister." I told her in my monotone voice. "Oh! So, is it someone I know?" she asked me. "You do know that I'm your superior right brat? You shouldn't be asking questions like this." I told her. "You told me that I can trust you. Doesn't that mean you should trust me too? And these trust businesses kinda make us friends right? Since we are trusting each other about things that are personal? And I thought friends talk to each other about stuff like who they are interested in." she told me with a straight face but her voice betrayed her. She was nervous. 

"What's in it for you?" I asked her. She can't know I'm interested in her. "Just curious. I'm not great at making friends and since I happened to make a friend by myself, I just thought I'll try to make a conversation. Sorry for bothering you captain." she muttered, without looking at me. "Look, it's best if you don't know. I like someone I'm not supposed to. If this gets out, both her and my reputation will be on the line." I explained to her with a serious tone. It was the truth. After a pause, she said, "I happen to be in a similar situation" with a smile. She really should smile more often.

(Y/N) POV

I felt like a complete idiot. Of Course Petra lied. It was all sinking in now. I got someone killed because I was a selfish piece of crap. And to add to my guiltiness, she wasn't even with Levi heichou. How could I do this to her? To her parents? "Why the hell are you still alive! Such a burden... Just get out of my house and die somewhere will you?!" I remember a voice shouting at me, a memory of my childhood, a memory from the underground that never left me. Was I becoming like her? That woman who sold me off to that brothel? Was I becoming like my biological mother? That woman broke every promise she ever made to me. Could I live with myself if I became like that? 

I decided not to think more of it because I probably would never be able to look in the mirror and tolerate myself. With that, I stopped thinking about it and just as heichou mentioned that he liked someone, I blurted out that I am in a similar situation without giving it a second thought.

Who was he talking about? That day after looking at Petra kiss heichou, I came to the conclusion that I have feelings for Levi heichou and I don't regret Petra's death because her absence made my insecurities go away. I felt like I'm a monster for thinking that way and cried quite a bit thinking how disappointed my parents could have been, how disappointed everyone would've been in general as I thought about it last night. I also thought that heichou just lost his fiancee and I definitely didn't have a chance because he probably would be too devastated to be with other women.

 Now that I knew the truth, I felt plain guilt, however, as there was the slightest possibility that the girl heichou likes could be me, I didn't have any intention to let go of this chance. "I'll tell you who I like if you tell me about you. That way no one can double cross each other." I said to him. "I don't feel comfortable about telling you who she is." heichou stated, not looking at me. I could see him blushing. It was a sight to see. 

"We could play a game of 5 questions. We will ask each other 5 questions and both can answer as yes or no. Is that okay?" I proposed. I personally always hated this game that Eren and my fellow members of the 104 trainee corps made up but at that moment, I couldn't think of any other way to get heichou to open my mouth. "Isn't that a children’s game?" heichou asked me, raising an eyebrow. "Well, yes but we don't exactly have things to do right now so why not kill time doing this?" I reasoned. "Yeah I guess we do have some time to kill.." he answered, sounding a bit unsure. 

"Do I know her?" I asked. "Yes. And is it a man?" he answered and asked.

 "Yes. Is she from the 104 training Corps?" I answered and asked again.

 "Yes. Do I know him?" he answered and asked.

 "Yes. Was she in the top 10 recruitments?" I answered and asked. A blush formed on my face. So he was into someone from our training Corps.. 

He looked away and said, "Yes. Is he from the 104 trainee Corps?" The tension between us increased.

 "No. Was she in the top 3?" I asked not looking at him. If he says yes, it's either me or Mikasa. 

"Yes. Does he happen to be a squad leader?" he asked. His body was tense and he averted his eyes from mine. I did the same since I was too nervous.

 "Yes. Was she in the first position?" I almost whispered. I was speechless. I never thought that slightest hope could become something so big. 

"Yes. Is he the captain of the survey corps?" he asked while running a hand in his hair. His face looked serious. He was interested in me. 

"Yes'' I whispered. I was so shocked that I didn't know how to react. I should've felt happy but in reality, I felt terrified. I knew why I felt that way. It's because the reality sunk into me. The world was a cruel place. Bad things happened whenever I believed in people. I wasn't ready to lose him. I didn't know if I ever could be ready for that. He looked at me with wide eyes. I could see the fear in them. He was scared too and I understood why he felt that way. He was right. This was impossible.

Levi POV

Did we just confess to each other? What the hell am I doing? This isn't like me at all. I seriously agreed to play this stupid game those cadets made up just to know who she had feelings for? I knew that if it wasn't me, I would make their life in the survey corps much more hellish than it already is. Now that I know that it's me, it bothered me that I would have to break her heart. 

However, this girl made me make all sorts of bad decisions and I couldn’t even hate her for it. I looked straight at her eyes. She was blushing and her eyes were as terrified and sad as mine. This wouldn't work and she understood it. I was glad that she understood the issue because explaining this would be a big problem. 

The silence was broken by Eren. "Hey (Y/N), you made breakfast?" he asked her cheerfully. (Y/N) muttered a "No" with her usual monotone voice. Eren didn't notice the tention in the room because of how stupid he is as he sat down beside (Y/N). "They are late.." I broke the silence.

 "I can't believe that good-for- nothing Erwin.. Making me wait. The MPs are going to get here first. Most likely.. He's having some trouble taking a shit." I stated which made Eren laugh while (Y/N) remained stoic. She probably still was processing everything. I took another sip of the tea and placed it on the saucer. 

"Heichou, you're pretty talkative today," Eren pointed out nervously. Of Course I was. I confessed to (Y/N) a while back and the situation just got more complicated. I was talking so much because there was too much on my mind. "Don't be stupid. I've always been talkative" I answered instead. 

"Eren" (Y/N) called out, her face looked like it had aged suddenly. I knew that she was about to talk about her contribution to the death of my squad to Eren. She seemed more worried about the squad's death.

 "I could've saved Petra and that would've saved Oluo but I didn't because of my own personal issues. I was wrong to do that. My priorities shouldn't be greater than anyone's life. I need to know if you can forgive me after hearing this." she told him, her voice monotone. 

"(Y/N)... I can't forgive you for the decision you made but, I made a wrong choice too. That was what got you in that situation. It all started from me. Back then, if only I hadn't made the wrong choice things might have been different. Even you were injured..." Eren stated, looking at me at the end.

 "I told you two. No one knows how things will turn out. Stop blaming yourselves for this. It's just how the situation was." I answered, shutting them up. The last thing the survey corps needed right now were soldiers that had regrets. Just then Erwin and the others arrived.

(Y/N) POV

Armin came to a conclusion that Annie could be the female titan. The plan was, when the military police would come to escort us, Eren, Armin and Mikasa would sneak out. They would take Annie to the abandoned underground city in stohess district and fight her there with some other survey corps soldiers and with Eren's titan powers. I was supposed to be with Levi Heichou and Uncle Erwin. Both of us were injured and we weren't allowed to participate in the fight. 

Everything was going according to the plan until there was a lightning and a gust of smoke. We knew the plan had failed. Commander Nile looked surprised and was talking to Uncle Erwin. I looked at Levi heichou. He was staring at the smoke. Suddenly he looked at me and said, "seems like plan A failed. We need to go somewhere safe until the fight is over. Go tell Erwin to make his conversation quick and get moving". " Yes heichou" I replied and went to Uncle Erwin. My mind was still stuck to the conversation we had this morning. Heichou was right. It was impossible. But... If I couldn't have the one I love, I couldn't reach my goal of happiness. In that case, what's the point of being alive?

To be continued... 

Taglist: @kingtamakimurder @realityisoftendisapointing

[sincerelyreidburke]

I've sent a couple of anon asks (one was sad face about Quinnster so maybe you're holding on to it) but I want to say again how valuable your continuation of the CP! extended universe has been during these crazy times. THANK YOU! But anyway, Ben totally marries some gorgeous woman/man/non-binary human being right and the world is blinded by their couple beauty? But ALSO anyway I want more DRAG BEN!? How, when, who finds out?!!

Hi, anon!! Thank you for your kindness!🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 I’m pretty sure I’ve now answered that sad Quinn ask (if I’m thinking of the right one)— it’s right here. :D

Regarding your question about Rhodey’s far-future relationship experiences, it’s... a little complicated, and I can elaborate on that if it’s wanted, but rest assured he ends up very, very happy.🤍

And Drag Rhodey! Let’s get on that train. This is part 2 of a duo of asks about this concept, so let’s hop under the cut and keep talking about it. (Here’s part 1!)

(Ask/send me anything about the crickets!)

- So we’re here now for Drag Rhodey Facts. This will be a broad conceptual post. If you wish for me to elaborate further on any point I make in this post or made in the other Drag Rhodey ask, you know where to find me.

- We’ve established that his stage name is Isla Rhodelia. I do not accept constructive criticism at this time. Yes, I hate him, and yes, he’s a meme, and yes, he’s a fucking Rhode Island headass. We know all of this. I feel like he doesn’t come up with this name himself; it’s maybe Quinn who suggests it, as a half joke, but Rhodey latches onto it immediately. Thus: he is Isla.

- His style, once they nail it down through some trial and error, is sort of grungy. He has a couple of wigs, and most of them are dyed hair colors (I think his favorite one is, like, indigo). His eye makeup is always pretty bright, almost on the neon side?

- And his outfits are, like.... leather jackets, and tight pants, and sparkly things, but in mostly dark colors. It’s like he’s the lead singer of an alt band that sings about teenage rebellion. So in other words, Paramore.

- Quinn gets so much joy out of putting together his outfits. He’ll just sit in his bed in his room sewing sequins onto a bra top, and he has the time of his life. He also lives for choreographing his routines. Because you bet your ass he does that. He low-key rules with an iron fist because he takes it upon himself to be sure Rhodey has his shit together (at least in drag terms, otherwise he’s a lost cause) at all times.

- Rhodey picks the music, and Quinn puts together choreography. He does it out during idle time with Nando sometimes, just to brainstorm, and the sight of Quinn going through the dancing is just far too much for poor Nando. He’s too gay to function.

- Also,

Quinn at a kegster: Ben have you been practicing your routine for Saturday—

Rhodey, jumping over a table: Q!!!!!!! Keep your voice down, bro!!!!!! I’m undercover!!!!!!!

- Why is Rhodey undercover? Ha, okay, this is where we spill a little angst in our fun drag life imaginings. Rhodey starts this his sophomore year, and Whiskey is captain. I have this feeling that Whiskey still hasn’t fully accepted himself even by the time he’s a senior, and therefore Whiskey feels... kind of weird around Rhodey. The same way he felt weird around Bitty. Because Rhodey is unapologetic and unhesitating in terms of being himself, and Whiskey... isn’t there yet. He’s not sure if he’ll ever get there.

- So on a basic level, Rhodey is kind of scared of Whiskey’s standoffishness. Which isn’t like him, because he doesn’t get scared of people super often. He’s basically just terrified of the thought of Whiskey (and his other non-queer teammates) finding out that he’s doing this, because he feels like it’s going to get him in trouble on the team somehow.

- And yes, I know that this is Samwell Hockey, and that they have each other’s backs, and that the team as I write it in the CCU is well acquainted with having queer members and supporting that, but doing drag is significantly more outlandish than just having a same-sex partner or even participating in pride events. And it’s still college hockey. It’s still hockey.

- And Rhodey, as an NCAA athlete, does not like the thought of somebody finding out who could out him as Ben Shaley, Samwell University goalie, doing drag on the weekends. He knows the implications, off ice and on it, that would come with that being public knowledge.

- Therefore....... undercover.

- This creates the most hilarious thought of the crickets plus Quinn all crammed into Quinn’s room pregaming and getting ready to go out clubbing. Quinn does Rhodey’s makeup. Let me take you all on the journey that is that experience.

Quinn: (Minding his business and doing Rhodey’s mascara. He has Rhodey in a chair and he’s sort of bent over him. Because he’s doing his makeup, this requires him getting kind of close to Rhodey’s face.)

Rhodey: (Because he is an asshole.) Q, there’s so much tension between us right now.

Quinn: (Snorts.)

Nando: No, there is not.

Rhodey: Careful, Nan. I’m gonna steal your man. ;)))))

Quinn: Fucking sit still, Benjamin!

Rhodey: (Completely freezes because he fears for his life.)

Quinn: I will stab you with this mascara brush.

- And then like this.

Quinn: (Putting eyeliner on Nando because he has a hunch it’ll look very pretty and wants to test it out. He’s sitting in Nando’s lap to do it, and he has his legs around his waist.)

Rhodey: (From the other side of the room. Mid-getting dressed.) If you two start making out right now, I refuse to go out with y’all tonight.

Quinn: (Gives Rhodey a death glare, and then turns back to Nando all soft.) Ben, quit shit-talking and finish tucking.

Rhodey: (Pikachu gasp.)

Touille: (Falls off his chair laughing.)

- I cannot get the image out of my head of this slow-mo shot of all four of them walking in the parking lot to get to the club. Because it’s important to me that you know this, here’s what they wear.

Rhodey: is in drag.

Touille: Band shirts with blazers over them, and jeans, and sunglasses. He looks like some kind of grungy bouncer and definitely gets mistaken for Rhodey’s date.

Quinn: A mesh shirt he stole from the Chicago wardrobe closet when he did gender-bent Cell Block Tango and sent Nando into gay panic and some kind of tight pants, with sneakers, and Nando just..... can’t handle it at all.

Nando: Crop tops because, once he gradually gets out of his awful body image rut, Nando is a crop top king. (Quinn lives for it. Boyfriend tummy = free real estate.) And also, like, those pants that cuff at the bottom. I have no idea what the technical term for that is.

- Whatever. Anyway. Those are clubbing outfits. Rhodey kicks ass onstage and also he lives for it??? Quinn gives him a little pep talk because he’s kind of nervous before his first show (imagine that, Ben Shaley nervous), and it’s unbelievably wholesome.

- Touille regularly tells him he looks pretty and it goes straight to his gay head.

- I’m going on and on now, so I’ll cap it here, but, I will talk about this as much as you guys want me to.

Thank you for the ask! :D

[msjr0119]

Love, Fate, Destiny

Part 5- Dancing On My Own

Riley Brooks is a waitress in a ‘Dive bar” in New York. One Saturday night, her past comes back to haunt her as some unfamiliar punters enter her bar on a bachelor party- one of them being someone who she was once close to.

*CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY*

Tags- @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @drakesensworld @ladyangel70 @butindeed @bbrandy2002 @bascmve01 @kingliam2019 @drakewalker04 @pedudley @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @dangerouseggseagleartisan @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415

******

“Liam, a word outside. NOW!”

Liam looked puzzled hearing Drake’s tone of voice. Why would he be angry? He had convinced the love of his friends life to come to his home. Apologising to Olivia, he gently kissed her cheek- walking towards the balcony.

“Drake? What is the matter?” Speaking softly as he didn’t fully understand the meaning for this private conversation.

“Oh let me see... you bring MY girl from New York. Allow the Beaumont’s to sponsor her, for your hand in marriage! She’s not safe being here. How could you do this to me and to her. She’s naive. I never spoke about this place to her, because she wouldn’t understand it. Adding her as a target to the rest of the list. I’m taking her home tomorrow!” Drake frustratedly snapped at his friend.

“You can’t take her home.” Liam now felt guilty, sorrow in his eyes as he could see that Drake was hurting and protecting someone he loved. Drake never gave a damn about court- most likely because of the way he had been treat in the past. His father dying protecting Liam’s family, his sister disappearing and his mother abruptly abandoning him. Could Liam blame him for his attitude regarding the royal court- no.

“And why fucking can’t I, Your highness?”

“She’s their sponsor now. It’s set in stone. I’m sorry Drake, I thought you’d be happy.”

“I was happy. I was happy to be moving back to New York tomorrow to be with her. Somewhere we both called home once upon a time. You don’t need me here. You have Liv. So I planned to go and get my girl back. Now I won’t be able to even speak to her without a scandal brewing. So thanks, Li!”

Olivia stood behind them, tutting and coughing to announce her presence. Relieved that Riley now wasn’t her competition, she wondered how this would elaborate. Drake Walker was in love. The women at court had an inkling that he was possibly a ‘closet’ gay- Kiara always forced herself on him, practically drooling over him and he declined every effort she made. Olivia couldn’t wait to stir up trouble.

“And here I was thinking that you would stray towards another commoner, Li. I know how attracted you are to those type of people.” Winding the situation up, she couldn’t stop smirking.

“Liv shut up! Whatever you heard keep it quiet! Drake, you should go and find Riley.”

Drake nodded, fuck he thought- Olivia of all people overheard them. Why couldn’t he just talk to Riley like a normal human being- like the woman he loved.

****

Maxwell and Hana escorted Riley to her room, Hana reapplied make up for her new friend, not really understanding why a stranger could make her that upset.

“So, is anyone going to tell me what is going on?” Hana had only met Riley a short while before, but was concerned about her. Hana was the type of person who cared a lot for others, she hoped that Riley wouldn’t think she was interfering.

“Riley fucked Drake years and years ago. They were together....oops!” As he blurted out the secret, he couldn’t stop hiccuping. Riley felt like throttling her sponsor but didn’t have the energy. Besides, Hana didn’t seem the type of person to cause a shit storm.

“Ohhh...So why are you here then? I’m really confused.” Hana’s eyebrows furrowed, she was perplexed by her friends confession. She knew that the social season was a sham- she only agreed to completing in it to escape the pressure from home.

“So am I, Hana. I thought he’d be happy to see me. He was furious. Saying the court was vicious and that I couldn’t be here. Liam said he’s already made his decision. So I don’t see the issue.” Riley now feeling fully defeated, she regretted following her heart and coming to this country that was unknown to her. She was doing quite alright in her city - her birth place, before he returned.

“Everyone knows that he and Olivia have had a thing for years. Shall we get back Blossom? Hana, please don’t tell anyone what I blurted out- it’s the booze, I can’t control my mouth.”

“Of course. I’ll help you Riley, with anything you need. I’m really grateful to have met you.”

******

The trio re-entered the ballroom, a waiter handed them a glass of sparkly champagne which they all accepted. Riley drank it in one gulp- before reaching for another. This whole court situation was harder than she believed it would be- maybe it will get better? After drinking the second glass, she noticed the Prince walking slowly towards them grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Placing a fake smile on her face, she didn’t want to reveal the true pain that she was feeling.

“Lady Riley, shall we dance?”

Riley didn’t want to dance with the man, even though his baby blues were pleading with her. The only dancing she knew was the ‘slut drop’- her expertise in New York, she knew this place wouldn’t accept that type of dancing.

“I- I don’t dance Liam. I’m sure Lady Hana will dance.”

“Lady Riley, it’s shown as rude declining a member of royal family a dance.” Hana whispered the advise giving her an encouraging smile. For fuck sake, Riley muttered under her breath- hoping no one heard.

“I don’t want to dance- well I do. But I want to speak to you. I’ll lead. Just follow my moves.”

Liam led Riley to the dance floor to dance to the Cordonian waltz- she was feeling out of her comfort zone. Noticing that all eyes were on the two of them- anxiety began to increase her breathing and heart rate. Hoping no one would notice, she didn’t want to be an embarrassment.

“I’m sorry about how Drake reacted. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”

“It’s not your fault. I wish, I never came in the first place.”

“I’m so sorry you feel that way. Drake will apologise. He’s been drinking and it was a shock seeing you. He truly does love you Riley.”

“Funny way of showing it! I’m sorry. Am I doing this right?” Riley questioned as Liam twirled her and pulled her close into his embrace. In the corner of her eye she saw Maxwell and Drake- even though Drake had hurt her, she wished that he was the one she was dancing with. Wishing that the lights come on and the music dies.

“You’re an amazing dancer.”

“Yes you are doing brilliantly for a beginner, and thank you. My parents would be thrilled to hear that all those years of dance lessons paid off. You are remarkable.” He whispered in her ear, so no one could hear his flirting. He’s just being polite- he’s a Prince. Nothing more to it. I hope.

*****

Drake stood in the corner, watching the Prince dance flirtatiously with his Riley- gulping back whiskey one after the other. The brown liquid not touching his sides. Anger began brewing inside of him, Maxwell joined him- providing a pleading expression for him not to do something he would later regret. Drake really hoped that Riley would see him, talk to him and for them to return to what they once was.

“Don’t worry Max, I’m not going to fuck up this thing you have between you all. I’m always standing in the corner on my own anyway. Dancing on my own.”

They were disturbed by gasping. Liam had seen his father scrutinising every move he made with Riley. To keep up appearances that he was exploring other options for a wife- he kissed Riley on the cheek- before looking directly at his father smiling. Constantine nodded towards his son, a bit of hope shone in his eyes hoping that his daughter in law wouldn’t be a Nevrakis.

I’m in the corner watching you kiss her oh oh oh..

And I’m right over here, why can’t you see me?

Maxwell noticed Riley leave Liam’s embrace, curtsying elegantly- shock on her face as she turned away from the Prince. He rushed towards her to check that she was fine, she was his responsibility after all.

“Ri?”

“Max, why would he do that? I feel like I’ve cheated on Drake!” Covering her face with her hands- she loved Drake, she always did- why did this whole situation make her feel emotional? Knowing it was fake, knowing Drake was hers, and she was his.

“He has to be affectionate Riley, with everyone- you know the Prince Charming effect?” Maxwell gave her a half smile, he knew she wouldn’t intentionally hurt Drake, it was just a dance and kiss on the cheek. Although he was starting to have doubts about Liam’s intentions.

Liam acted different around Riley. Paranoia stabbed Drake in the heart- believing he was about to lose Riley for good, after all what Liam wants, Liam usually gets. No he wouldn’t do that to me? Surely. Why couldn’t she just wait one more day for me to return to her? She’s waited seven years. But I'm not the guy you're taking home - Drake kept repeating in his head.

Riley and her new friends were stood in the middle of the dance floor, before she recognised that familiar scent instantly surrounding them. Whiskey mixed with pinewood. Snapping her head towards him he gave her a sad smile. Taking her delicate hand into his, he guided it to his lips- gently and longingly kissing it. Tears forming in his eyes- he gently pulled her into his warm embrace- not giving a shit about what people thought.

“I just came to say goodbye.”