#which was rly the hardest part

[garoujo]

disappearing to work on a few fics so please send me thoughts & prayers ‘n sweet snacks (ง ื▿ ื)ว

[toastsnaffler]

my flatmate asking me the day before "do u want to hang out w me and [old friend] everyone else cancelled so I can invite u now" is not the heartfelt offer she thinks it is :^/

[g-xix]

YouTubers+ Eating Out HC's

freezy, Lux, Deji, Ginge, Danny Aarons, ChrisMD (again), WillNE, James Marriott

Calfreezy -I feel like he'd go at a rly fast pace, like absolutely NO CHILL. -Has you on all fours so that after he's done he can either fuck you in doggy, or just turn you over and use your mouth -Isn't rly a bit fan of eating you out, more of a receiver than giver

Callux -This man absolutely savours it. -Can't tell whether who's more blissed out between the two of you, when he goes down -Missionary position so that he can look up at you whilst he brings you to climax, being able to see your gorgeous face -Not v aggressive or fast paced, each stroke of his tongue is done with purpose and has you moaning no matter what speed he goes at -Absolute praise whore, would close his eyes or moan into you if you tell him he's doing a good job -Licks everything from your thighs and core driving you into overstimulation post-orgasm

Deji -Sat on his face -Glasses are off so he can't see that well, but he alr knows the spots to make you weak -Grind down on his tongue sometimes bc you're too impatient -Makes groans of his own whilst he works which sends vibrations straight into your core making you totally WEAK in those knees whilst he's eating you out

Chrismd -Ofc he's obsessed w face sitting too. -Loves the thick girlies that are going to put all their weight on his tongue and let him eat em out goooood -So fucking pussy drunk, will absolutely lose his MIND giving wet, sloppy head -His biceps n forearms clamping you down so that your pussy is completely flush against his mouth and you cannot move for a moment of relief and he's still licking you up and driving you into overstim even after you've cum [yeah i also wrote his imagine here bc idk if he's a part of the ATV-G-Clarkey group or this one atp]

AngryGinge13 -first time you tried it was actually in the back of his car which didn't make for the nicest feeling in your neck a couple hours later -But he had you absolutely GRIPPING onto those grip assist things on the ceiling whilst he was going down though -He's 6"3 aka MASSIVE which gives me the impression he has some nice long fingers which he uses along with his mouth -Has your legs shaking when he pulls away with a cocky grin and asks "how's that?" as though he hasn't just caused you the hardest orgasm of your LIFE on his tongue

Danny Aarons -He deffo loves a thick girlie, like, just don't try tell me that he doesn't -Aaand also I feel like he's made it quite obvious on the internet that he likes a rougher experience -So I think that he doesn't care WHAT position it's in, just so long as your thighs are squeezing his head as though you are gonna crush it like a fuckin' watermelon -thread your fingers through his hair, pull on his locks, and be as loud as possible for him -He's purposefully gonna try make you loud - moaning his name like bloody Moaning Myrtle - and if you're not loud enough for him then he's gonna be sucking your clit with enough mf pressure to have you gasping his name

James Marriott -Honestly he could love the thick or slim girlies -Can imagine him manhandling any size of lady, he doesn't gaf -Not necessarily rough with you, ofc always asking you and making sure you're doing alright n are comfy and all... -But in random moments he'll just pick you up or flip you over so easily - just manhandle you so effortlessly it always gets you so turned on - but you'd never ask him to be rly rough with u bc u know he's not so much into that -Okay wow that was off-topic from eating out but BACK TO THE PUSSY LICKING GOOD STUFF -One of the only YouTube mf's that I think would have you on all fours in doggy position when he's licking you up -licking from your clit up to your hole and giving THE SLOPPIEST head, which is just so fucking hot too, spit n cum mixing n being used all the same and has you coming haaaard when his head's between your thighs

WillNE -Presses feather light kisses on your thighs and aaaall around where you actually need him, making you a desperate mess... -And of course he won't give you that satisfaction until you've begged sufficiently enough for him -Holds your thighs with his hands, fingers pressing into your pillowy thighs and just squishing them around... Probably leaves accidental little bruises the next day -Has his tongue flat and moves his head up and down, sometimes even side to side making his lips glisten with your arousal -Will come up once you've orgasmed, lips glistening with your slick and making a sinfully beautiful sight to behold

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JUST AMP BOYS LEFT FOR THE HEAD HEADCANONS!!! Comment n lmk what sorta HC's youse all wanna see next + whether you've enjoyed the YouTubers Head series!

(and did I miss out any YT-ers you were hoping to see? LMK!)

Hope you enjoyed reading!! Feel free to interact- whether that be a comment, vote or follow! Requests open, feel free to submit what u wanna see... Much love!!

To see more, here's my MASTERLIST

And here's my WATTPAD, with 50+ more oneshots to read

[kelin-is-writing]

imagine babysitting with boyfriend!dabi

you were supposed to spend the day together but shit got in the way and now you were stuck at your relatives’ place and had to look after their kids for the afternoon. dabi was ready to disappear the second you mentioned it but you practically dragged him there by his collar and now he’s sitting on the couch pouting.

he would never admit it but he was worried that the kids might get scared by his appearance. well turns out they absolutely adore him.

it’s definitely annoying him at first that they won’t leave him alone for even a second and keep demanding that he plays with them. you glare at him after a while and he reluctantly gives in.

it starts with them playing with little race car models and they soon switch to drawing messily in one of their coloring books. dabi turns out to be quite the talented artist which you haven’t known until then.

however he draws the line when the kids want to play dress up. he vehemently refuses… for five minutes at least. when you return from the kitchen with snacks for everyone you have to try your absolute hardest not to burst out laughing when you see the sparkly tiara on his head. (you manage to take a picture without him noticing)

he doesn’t admit it but he’s actually having fun and watching you interact with the kids is putting thoughts into his head that he’s never had before. maybe starting a family of your own isn’t as bad of an idea as he used to think.

now all he can think about for the rest of the day is you underneath him with your legs pressed to your chest and the sound of your heavenly moans when he draws orgasm after orgasm from you until he finally cums inside of you. he rly hopes you won’t mind not using a condom this time...

- 🥛

YOU DID NOT JUST DO THIS TO ME—

the way i actually can picture him letting the kids grab onto his arms and then lift them up to spin the two of them around, once he’s done dabi would be dizzy as hell but then there are the kids who starts screaming “again!” “again!” which has him huff tiredly but still comply to what they want because they were having fun and that surprisingly made our arsonist hold back a smile, all this under your amused but still tender grin.

i can also see dabi play with them the ‘see you, can’t see you’ game, after you teach him, and he adores the laughs and giggles those little dwarfs let out when he exclaims “ah! here you are!”, in the most (semi) monotone voice someone could’ve ever hear, but the kids still loved it so much and that just leave him with a tingling sensation inside his chest from how moved he was, but still managed to keep it low or you wouldn’t let him live it down just like with the tiara moment.

once the kids were gone, you two finally alone, dabi is sitting on the couch with dazed eyes looking in front of him and lips slightly parted; when you sit next to him you’re about to ask him what was that face for, after snorting amused, when in a millisecond the villain has you laying beneath him as he hovers over your figure. you look surprised at him, being meet by a stare of pure desire and love that made your heart skip a beat from the intensity “w-what?”, you blurt out confused while glancing back at your boyfriend unsure on what’s gotten into him, then your eyes fell down and widened at the sight of the bulge inside his pants that was now pressing against your lower abdomen “you–?! wha–?!”

“i...”, dabi interrupted you “want to have kids with you princess.”, he confessed in a low husky gentle tone looking away from you with the back of his hand raising in front of his face and you blinked fervently, no because... was this cruel villain blushing right now?!

god he is so damn gorgeous like that, you can’t wrap your head around the fact that you have the most precious boyfriend out there, he’s truly such a gem honestly.

smiling tenderly at his confession you cup his cheeks, making him flinch slightly because of the sudden move, and pull him towards you meeting him halfway to kiss the raven-haired boy on his lips deeply, with an astonishing amount of love that left dabi speechless but yearning for more which is why a second later he was already ravishing yours back with as much passion as you.

when the two of you parted, panting, your hazy eyes locked and you swallowed down before slowly sliding your legs up his sides then closing them around dabi’s waist in a tight grip that pressed his boner against your clothed heat, a groan and moan leaving both your mouths at the friction. licking your lips under his burning gaze you start talking “what are you waiting for then?”, dabi looks with eyes that you can see ask for permission and “fill me up dabi.”, with that accompanied by a roll of your hips against his, he completely lost it.

after this, skins slapping together, pants, groans and moans are the only things that can be heard inside your living room as your man is cumming for the sixth time inside of you, balls deep into your pussy with the tip of his dick pressing hard against the swollen entrance of your womb as he’s spilling his load in complete ecstacy once again while you squirt all over his shaft and onto his pelvis with a pitiful cry, too overstimulated to even form a single syllable.

dabi has his eyes still rolled back into his skill in pure bliss when he hear you slurr about how much seed there’s inside your cunt, his cerulean irises going back to their place immediately before he raises from his hovering position on you with flushed cheeks as he smirks, totally high on you “of course there’s lots...”, and grabbing onto your waist he starts to rut his hips slowly, fucking all his seed into you with eyes clouded by desire “i gotta make sure my princess is filled up to the brim with our babies, right?”, he ends his sentence with a sharp thrust that made you let out a sob while holding onto his forearms for dear life, moaning continuously as dabi kept pounding into you “you can take more of it, i know it baby, i believe in my pretty girl nhgh–”, dabi kept blurting while throwing his head back with a throaty dragged groan at feeling your walls clench around him, hips picking up pace in no time.

letting out a breathy moan he looks down at you with sweat rolling down his temples long his pretty panting face, then he grabs your forearm to rub kind circles on it “i’m gonna make sure it’ll stick this time, so– ugh— bear with me for a little more ‘kay baby?”, you nod absentmindedly, too fucked out to register well what he’s saying to you, making him let out an amused snort at seeing your expression completely melted from the continuous pleasure and overstimulation “good girl, lemme reward you thenhgh—”, and with that another load of his seed was flowing inside of you and deep into your womb.

the pure bliss dabi feels everytime he cums deep in you, the imagery of his white ropes sticking inside your uterus, makes him rock hard all over again. mind completely lost into the ferverish sensation he’s been feeling for hours now thanks to his precious girl.

[only-angel-28]

mastermind, part four

ok ok ok here's part four i dont rly have much to say here bc i said everything on part three but i hope you like this one and dw guys im gonna try publish part five asap im starting writing it tonight, productive era fr 🙌💯

warnings: slight angst, swearing, injury, protective theo😋😋

mastermind, masterlist

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y/n’s pov

“Hello Y/N.”

I look up from my place on the grass where I was tying my shoes.

Oh. Him again.

“Hi, Cormac.” I say with a tight-lipped smile, standing up, and walking over to where I left my broom when I was practising.

Cormac follows me like a lost puppy and says, “So uhm how’ve you been?”

It’s been almost four months of this. He comes over to wherever I am and follows me asking pointless questions about the weather or lessons and it would’ve been fine if he wasn’t making uncomfortable inappropriate jokes in between. It’s December now, nearly time for the Yule Ball and I need to shake Cormac off my tail sometime soon or I'll have no hope of finding a date this year.

“Just fine Cormac, what about you?” I say mindlessly, trying to devise ideas to get him away politely.

“I’m good…would be better with you in my bed though…” he says, smoking at me as I give him a disgusted look and stop walking.

Forget trying to be nice, this guy’s a creep.

“Okay Cormac, let's settle this. What’s all this really about? I mean you’ve been following- no practically stalking me for months now, and if it wasn’t creepy enough without the inappropriate jokes, it sure as hell is now. So what do you actually like me or just want to get in my pants?” I say angrily at him, clutching my broom in my hands so hard, my knuckles turn white.

He looks started by my outburst at first but quickly replies and says, “Uhm no, no! Of course I like you Y/N, I just wanted to know if you had a date for the Yule Ball yet?” with the furrows of my brows he leans forward and speaks lowly to me in a more threatening tone, “Sure would be a shame if the whole school found out the truth about your favourite uncle.”

Sirius? What the fuck?

I push him away, “Get the fuck away from me you freak!” I go to leave before he grabs me by my wrist and speaks again, “Come to the ball with me and I won’t say a word about him to anyone,”

“Cormac let go of me,” I say, struggling in his tightening grip.

“Just say yes. Say yes and I’ll let go and no one will have to hear about your uncle.”

“Get away from me!” I shout at him, stomp on his foot and punch his nose the hardest I could, feeling his bones crunching beneath mine. Or maybe it was both our bones.

I hold my now numb hand and leave him on the empty field holding his bloody nose and groaning while I run straight to the castle.

I run aimlessly for about three minutes, turning every which way not expecting anyone to be out in the hallways at this time, “Everyone would be in lessons right now” I think before, to my surprise, I turn the corner and I’m face to face with Theo.

He takes hold of me from my arms before I collapse into him and looks at me in surprise with a cigarette in between his soft pink lips.

I mumble out a quick ‘Sorry’ and move to leave, maybe go back to my common room to look for Hermione but he stops me before I can go anywhere.

His alarmed eyes and lifted brows look down at the tears on my face and the redness around my wrist and knuckles. He takes the cigarette out of his mouth, discarding it on the floor before putting it out with his shoe, takes me gently by the other hand and leads me to the hospital wing.

“Theo, no, I’m fine don’t worry.” I try and reassure him, “I don’t need Madam Pomfrey all over me right now, a potion from Hermione can fix me right up, I promise.”

He ignores me and takes me to an empty bed, telling me to rest my hand and sit still, before moving away to find Madam Pomfrey.

When shes checked me over and given me the right medications, he stares down at me but doesn't say a word until I ask, “What?”.

His reply is cold and quiet, “Who did this to you?”

I try brushing the question off, “Don’t worry about it Theo, I handled it fine.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” he says, looking down at my bandaged hand, and asks again, “Who did this to you Y/N?”

I sigh before answering, “You promise you won’t do anything illegal?”

“I promise.” he says and I extend my pinky on my good hand towards him. His hard expression softens slightly before he extends his and joins our pinkies together muttering another ‘promise’.

“Cormac. He got mad at me because I didn’t want to go to the ball with him and threatened to tell everyone some things about my family.” I say quietly, looking down.

theo’s pov

I don’t say anything as blood rushes to my head, my knuckles already forming into fists, my jaw clenching and my feet turning around to go find the prick.

“No Theo!’ Y/N says after me, trying to grab my arm and stop me from beating the rat up but I hold her hand as gently as I can and ask her to “Please rest Y/N, I’ll be back soon and I promise I won’t do anything too bad.”

“No Theo, please just drop it, it’s fine.” she tries to reassure me.

“What? No it’s not, first of all, he shouldn’t have touched you in the first place, but to hold you like that and threaten you? He’s begging for it now.” I turn to leave again, trying to find him somewhere in this massive castle, trying to calm down before I remember the look on Y/N’s face and all the anger comes rushing back like an extreme storm wave. Fuck this.

I walk around the castle quickly, keeping my eyes and ears open for any signs of the snake until I catch something near the bushes.

“No man, bitch fucked me right over. Broke my nose and everything. But I mean to be fair I do like them feisty if you know what I mean.” I hear his voice like venom before he laughs with his friends.

Before I know it, I’m being pulled away by Mattheo and Draco as Cormac’s friends grab him by his bloody torn shirt. Splatters of his blood are on mine but nowhere near as bad as his.

I had stayed quiet during the whole fight, speaking only with my punches and getting my message across.

A huge crowd has gathered by this point and I’m being assisted to McGonagall’s office by Mattheo and Draco patting me on the back with the teacher in front of us. I know I’ll get detention for a month, maybe two, and probably won’t be able to play Quidditch for a few weeks either but who cares.

It was for her and I don’t regret a fucking thing.

y/n’s pov

I walk down the great dining hall with everyone's eyes on me, whispering things to people around them. More than usual.

I take my usual seat next to Ginny and Hermione and look around at everyone, asking, “What’s going on?”. Ron, Harry and Hermione look at each other awkwardly before Hermione speaks up, “You don’t know what’s happened?”

“No?”

“That boyfriend of yours beat McLaggen up so bad he’s had to go to St. Mungo’s,” Ron speaks up against the silence and my blood turns cold as my stomach flips over.

“What?!” I say, alarmed.

“Yeah mate, everyone saw it… he was ruthless. Didn’t stop until the bloke couldn’t stand up by himself” Harry agrees with Ron as they turn to look at the Slytherin table behind and see Theo talking normally with his friends.

“He deserved it to be fair, I don’t blame Nott for beating him up the way he did.” Hermione says before asking about my hand.

“It’s all fine now, nothing major just a few broken bones.” I say turning my wrist and flexing my fingers before turning to Ron and answering his previous accusation, “And he’s not my boyfriend Ron, he’s just a friend.”

“Yeah well Harry and Cho Chang are friends but you don’t see him going around beating Cedric up.” Ron says stupidly, making Ginny tense up and Hermione glare at him from across the table as I take Ginny’s hand under it.

“Hey Hermione do you have a spare paper and quill?” I ask after we’ve all eaten our dinner and most of the people in the dining hall have cleared off.

“Yes of course, what for?” she asks, pulling a blank piece of paper and quill out of her bag and passing it to me. “I need to send a note.” I say vaguely before scribbling down:

meet me in the astrology tower after curfew.

I pull my wand out of my pocket and perform the paper bird charm, passing the note to Theo on the other side of the hall.

We all watch as he receives it, reads it and looks up at me, and winks. He asks Pansy for a quill and writes back:

See you there darling

I smile, putting the note into my pocket as Hermione squeals at me, Harry smiles and Ron makes a face of throwing up. “And that Ronald, is why you still don’t have a date to the Yule Ball. Speaking of which Harry do you have yours yet?” 

“Yep, I do actually.”

“Oh yeah? Who is it?” Ron asks looking over at Harry. Hermione and I give each other a knowing look as Harry says, “Uhm, I’m not at liberty to say.”

Harry gets up to leave to escape the conversation as Hermione and I laugh after him and Ron trailing not too far behind, pestering Harry and threatening him if it's his sister.

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“Hey” I hear a soft deep voice behind me as I stare up at the stars from the tower.

I turn around and find Theo wearing a deep red jumper and red plaid pyjamas, holding two cups of hot chocolate coincidently matching with my red plaid shorts and red jumper with my initial on it, courtesy of Mrs Weasley of course.

We smile at each other as he comes close and asks how my hand is, “All better, see” I flex my hand once again to prove it to him and we sit in silence for a few minutes drinking the hot chocolate he’d gotten from the kitchen.

“So,” he starts slowly sipping his hot chocolate and looking over at me in the dim light, “What did you want to talk about?”

I take a breath before answering, “Why did you do that?”

His eyebrows furrow, “Do what?”

I give him a knowing look and he looks away with a smile in response which drops quickly when thoughts of Cormac come back in his mind. “Guy’s a git. Doesn’t deserve you.” He says plainly bringing the cup to his lips again. I look at him for a minute, observing his long eyelashes and soft skin and look away just when he looks at me.

“Have you got a date to the ball yet?” He says in the comfortable silence.

I look back at him getting lost for a moment in his soft blue eyes. I shake my head in response.

He nods, looking down before downing the rest of his hot chocolate and standing up.

He reaches out a hand towards me and pulls me up from my place on the stairs and says, “Would you go with me if I asked?”

I look up at his eyes once again, seeing a hint of fear behind the blue, “If you asked dickhead.”

He laughs at this, nods and kisses me on the cheek before leaving.

“See you later star.”

“Star?” I say in question, my cheeks burning from his touch.

He doesn’t say a word or turn around, but simply holds out his middle finger, flipping me off which confuses me more until I see the silver ring I made him resting at the bottom of it.

I smile to myself as he walks away, leaving my face flushed and heart swollen.

What am I getting myself into.

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part four done, lmk what you think!!

taglist: @timmytime17 @cherry-hoe @jetblackpayne @ash-tarte @coolestgirlhere

[ahundredtimesover]

What would you say is your favorite part of I Want You To Stay and what was the most difficult part to write or come up with ideas for?

Chapter 7 will always be a favorite 🥹🥹 I loved writing the parts when they started slowly being comfortable with each other, when the small smiles were catching them off guard and when the tension was only rly starting to build and it was wholesome and honest. There was already that routine that was comforting and so constant and I enjoyed that aspect of their relationship.

Writing the backstory was difficult. It took me sooo long to write chapter 11 and as I did, all these ideas about Mr Ri’s history became clear and I think that was the hardest part bc his is a sad story. I break for him. And for all the love he keeps and lets go.

What’s also difficult is planning the details for season 2! I know what’s gonna happen. I know the angst that’s gonna come. I know who’ll show up and all, which is why I’ve planted seeds already in season 1. It’s just heavy. And there are so many elements to it that I’m actually terrified about writing it (hence, the break). But we’ll get there!!

Loved these questions, anon 🥹💕

[castleclerics]

why will ripping off the bandaid is actually (very) good for byler

ever since the script came out (it was lowkey confirmed yesterday by a twitter byler that it's actually real, just an early draft of it) i've seen people worried about will trying to let mike go and what that would mean for byler in s5.

even if it's not real, i realized before the script that he probably was tearing off the bandaid anyway and that i'm pretty sure that's a big part of why that scene was so painful for him. the past year he hadn't been reaching out to mike and at the end of s3 he gives away his dnd game. the van scene was his second and final attempt of letting go of mike really quickly, and i think mike understood that (in a platonic sense) through this facial expression:

here's why it's actually a good thing:

him not reaching out to mike didn't help him move on. he painted that painting for him and was extremely extremely excited to see him at the airport. it literally shows that him ripping off the bandaid DIDNT WORK. so why would it work if he tried again? we all know will has always been in love with mike and he's not going to fall out of love with him probably ever, or at the very least not easily.

the only thing that made him try letting go of mike again was seeing how "in love" he was with el all throughout s4. we literally see so many shots of his perspective and thinking mike and el have the most picture-perfect relationship, proving he's an unreliable narrator. he also decided to grab the painting at the last minute before leaving lenora (while they were in a rush mind you) because you can tell he thought he had a chance at getting closer with mike after their talk in his bedroom. mike on that whole trip however, wouldn't shut up about how worried he is about his relationship with el. that's when will decides to be the selfless person he is and help their relationship flourish so mike and his sister can be happy. he realizes for the final time there's nothing to come of being romantically in love with mike and that he rly has to try harder this time to let go.

here's the kicker: if will has already ripped off the bandaid, then there is nothing for mike to reject.

once mike finds out will loves him he can't go to him and say "sorry i just don't feel the same way" because it wouldn't make sense. also narratively. also will's only response could be "i know i was trying to let go of you because i know you don't" and then all of this buildup for the entire series that they have so carefully planned out would have been for nothing. literally just for a quick scene like that, which is obviously not the case. mike reciprocating feelings is literally the only option here, and they've lined everything up very perfectly to make that happen, they literally have written themselves into a corner.

also, you can see in this shot will is trying his very hardest to move on. he won't even look at mike until the car pulls up.

it's also pretty obvious will is done with this whole situation. he's definitely never bringing it up to mike (even in code again) so the only option is for mike to bring it up to him, and with reciprocated feelings, because that's the only way he could bring it up, especially since the plot needs to be driven forwards.

so basically, this was a friendly reminder that byler is happening because there is literally no other way it can go. but wbk.

[dandyshucks]

hiii dandy !! i wanted to ask, what do you think you and guzma would do post-canon after the events of sun & moon ? (i might have asked this before - if i have, i apologize..) (i also wanted to say that its been really cool seeing ur progress on ur plush!! it seems so hard, so you having that skill is rly admirable and i wish u lots of luck w finishing it!!) (@dmclr)

CLARA HI i hope u (and dimitri hehe) are doing well :] !!! wah thank u for the question, u havent asked it before dw !!! 

OKAY SO admittedly I mostly only know the story through reading Guz’s wiki page a few times (teehee) and through osmosis from the general fandom dsgjkl, i want to play the game one day and maybe read the manga, and I’ve watched the anime eps he’s featured in and that’s all i’m watching of that LOL. I haven’t actually experienced much of his story (or su/mo in general) first-hand myself though fdsjkl

answer below the cut because.... the rambler's curse got me LOL

after the events of su/mo, I don’t think he’d actually disband Team Skull because… what is the point of that honestly LOL, so Team Skull stays together in MY version of the world hehe. they’re required to do community service to make up for whatever shenanigans they get up to, but they stop stealing pokemon and move onto just like… graffiti and casual pranks and stuff. they still cause trouble, but it’s mostly mischief now rather than any actual crime. I set them up to work on murals for shop owners around the islands so they can spraypaint and be artistic that way rather than randomly tagging walls and getting into trouble for it fjdskl. they keep their disdain for authority figures and rules because at the end of the day most of them are rowdy teens who feel outcasted from society, and that’s just the way the ball rolls with them (also a certain level of that is healthy and warranted tbh). I work with Plumeria to organize events and outings (outside of community service) for the squad though, which helps give everyone healthier outlets for their energy and focus.

Hala mentors Guz to help put him onto (and keep him on) the right track, and Guz learns to appreciate the islands and their traditions a bit - even if he still doesn’t agree with all of them. Part of that mentorship is also sort of therapy (in a more holistic naturally-occurring way rather than like... clinical therapist sitting with patient), so trauma gets unpacked and healthier ways of handling emotions are learned and implemented. Also fuck the Aether Foundation HFDSJKL I keep Guz far away from Lusamine and make sure she never gets close to him again (idk what Gladion and Lillie get up to, I haven’t thought enough about them yet fsjkl). There’s a lot of healing and self-improvement and learning how to Be A PersonTM for both of us tbh!

Beyond that, it is mostly just regular Alola/island living!! Beach visits, walking around, getting ice cream and popsicles, casual battles with tourists, catching wimpods, all that sort of thing :] Also we visit Sinnoh (my home region) for half the year (i have… a whole schedule worked out for that actually LOL) so there’s that, too.

as for the plushie omg thank u sm WAUGH :D i cannot tell if it’s just because i have a weird hodge-podge skillset but i DO think it is not actually all that difficult !!! you just need a pattern for cutting the felt and then I learned the ladder stitch for hand-sewing, and it’s been very straightforward on how to sew the pieces together!! the hardest part so far has just been the hair because I have a difficult time translating 2D images to 3D reality in that way.

I just really want to encourage ppl to try their hand at new crafts and creative skills because I think it’s really fun and honestly really good for ppls well-being!! i am very passionate about making creativity accessible to people as much as possible!!! maybe i could make a tutorial or smth… the pattern I'm using is free and available on the creator’s website, and it’s genuinely not that difficult esp compared to some other things i’ve tried my hand at in the past LOL I feel like some of my paper mache projects have been more complex than this lil goober!!

THANK YOU AGAIN, AND SORRY ABOUT BECOMING THE RAMBLING RAMBLER LMAO i actually entirely rewrote this once because I wanted to shorten it and it STILL ended up this long 😭

[steffigraf]

some challengers thoughts (and major spoilers) under the cut 🎾

first things first: these bitches are Deranged. none of them will be seeing heaven. and i fucking love them lmfao give me that toxic mess !

also i am aware that this is supposed to be a drama but considering i am the master of finding the most irrelevant things hilarious, i was silent laughing throughout most of it lmao. good thing nobody was anywhere near me. but anyway moving on

at the start when tashi chooses the challenger that art will play, i was lmfao-ing at how she was on the atp wta app. like im sorryyyyy but that app is just,,, well. yeah. yall know.

prior to watching btw i had actually read a couple of spoilers & thought dumps on this movie BUT LIKE. NONE OF YALL MENTIONED THE CHILD. THE FUCK. those three fuckers were doing their toxic little mating dance while There Was A Child. brought a new level of fucked up to what they were doing that i truly didn’t expect. hope that kid gets therapy in the future

anyway art at the challenger should’ve had more crazy fans. like as a six time gs champ (who presumably didnt rly have consistent rivals like the big three lmao) he was literally a tennis Star. where are the crazy posters. cut outs of his face. smh he needs more groupies

patrick’s serve kinda reminds me of siniakova’s. anyway i don’t like it smdhdkdjks sorry siniakova but it bothers me how the motion gets cut up instead of being one fluid thing along with the toss. thats kinda just a me thing tho lmao

so the part at the party where those losers just kept awkwardly coming up to tashi? embarrassing tbh. secondhand shame well and truly alive in me

patrick has defo been into art the whole time btw like cmon. when tashi asked if they were a thing and art shot it down asap but patrick hesitated? ohhhh boy

tashi, on the other hand, is fascinating for me cause like. does she really like either of these men? no clue. it seems like she only does when she gets Both of them. which you know what valid i support her and her wrongs etc etc

in the doubles match when they celebrated on top of each other, i think a bunch of ppl in the theater were going all 👀 which i mean sure it’s valid in this case but uh. i was sitting there like that guy at the corner of the party meme thinking “they don’t know tennis players are just Like That actually” (many sports in general actually. the things footy boys do the pitch…… but i digress. still, it was weird to realize that most people are unaware of the homoeroticism of sport. wild!)

emotionally speaking, the thing that hit me the hardest was actually when the tv in the bg started talking abt how that mueller girl won wimby and was basically unstoppable. like the callback is insane and just OUCH it hurt so much because it was so Real imo? like. that is very much a scenario that can and does happen in tennis, and sport in general. there are always the random players who get injured or flop or just randomly retire, and it leaves us wondering: if they had still been at the top of their game, would the face of the sport have changed? so i empathized with tashi’s pain as she saw someone she had considered Below Her now rise to glory that tashi herself would never know. but, as we all know, if if if doesn’t exist. and that’s the thing that pained me the most.

random tinder lady was ridiculous sorry but like patrick literally just told her he was a total loser in tennis and then left her table to talk to another girl. i think she shouldve slapped him the fuck away instead of making out with him lmfao. like girl he is not hot enough for you to ignore the bullcrap. has he even showered. come on.

when tashi and patrick talked tho and she got mad at him for blowing smoke in her face? so real. i approve. i hate secondhand smoke soooo much bleh

that scene where art says he wants to retire and just flops his head on tashi’s lap and asks her to hold him????? only scene that made me feel actual Yearning. like damn get me a babygirl man like that. or let me be someone’s babygirl like that. like platonically or whatever idc just give me those soft touches i want that sensory experience

when tashi asked patrick to throw the match and patrick was like “how could you do this to him?” and basically said that asking that was Worse than her physically cheating on art. loved that shit. i was like damnnnnnnn that’s the all encompassing emotional nature of devoting your life to tennis babey!

in general actually a lot of their lines were soooo snappy and shit and like. i enjoyed that

but honestly my suspension of disbelief was kinda shattered a bit in the arguing in the car scene cause like. i was so fucking stressed. they were driving fast in the middle of a fucking storm at midnight and neither had a seatbelt i think and i swear there was a point where patrick looked at tashi for like five whole seconds while driving. LIKE PLEASE. god. can’t you guys be toxic bitches while obeying traffic rules? 😔

anyway. the camera shots from the floor during the match itself oh my GOD im obsessed. especially during the serve. wish i could gif those. god. yeah. yeahhhhh

speaking of the match though. idk some stuff with the scoring graphic felt off? i got a bit confused at some point. might be imagining it tho lmao

ball perspective was so fucking funny tho. i mean it worked i think but i kept thinking like imagine if we had ballcam with the tour big hitters. poor balls. they go thru so much. may they rest in peace.

when art just fell onto patrick at the end smash im sorry ik that was supposed to be a climax and shit but it was SO fucking funny

and finally: shoutout to art’s dead grandma. she moved the plot in ways she never even knew. legend 🙌🪦🕊️

so yeah i had a Lot of fun! though i truly have NO idea how this movie even looks to people who dont get tennis. or sports in general. must be a hell of a ride lol

(still probably a better intro to tennis than break point)

[simcardiac-arrested]

6, least favo creature.

14, which part of the game was the most difficult

6. noodleflies ….. i have noodlefly trauma from that one incident… Not a fan of those tiny ass spiders either

14. im gonna be brave and not name any specific campaigns or regions and will instead say that the hardest part was navigating for the first time. GIRL WHERE DO I GO? WHAT DO I DOOO???? i couldnt figure out for sooo long and when i did i still managed to get confused and lost (did not enjoy being lost in shaded citadel) After shoreline i basically had a map of each region pulled up and ready. it was rly hard to figure out where exactly i needed to go next without that

[hed-romancer]

Idk if this is weird to hop in ur ask box and say but I genuinely loved your mp100 comic so much rly enjoyed the ‘day in the life’ feel it had like you managed to capture the tone of the original manga so perfectly

awww thank you so much!!!! you're getting an info dump about it now:D

i'm still very surprised multiple people like my comic tbh. i'll read comments saying "i like your art style" and think "what art style? i just can't draw". pure luck it kinda looks like the manga. my only real goal with the art of it is to make it so that people know what's going on in each panel (but also i'm not too confident in my ability to do that, so image descriptions!)

i'm also reasonably certain a lot of the people who see one part of the comic don't see the other parts. not really sure if there's something i can do to help that or if that's just how social media works???

the comic isn't finished either! i do actually have kind of a goal for it???? (disclaimer, i don't think i've ever started writing a multichapter fanfic and then also finished writing it)

so the premise is that everything is the same as canon, mob has his same powers as canon, but teruki is just a little bit stronger. so when they fight, and teru knocks mob into ???%, he's also able to contain the explosion.

this basically leaves mob, who's been terrified of his emotions/powers for years now, with someone he knows for a fact can contain them. and teru, who has been fighting off a child-esper kidnapping organization on his own, with another child esper who's weaker than him. teru, who's been holding on to this idea that he's the strongest ever because that's what makes him feel safer, with further evidence that he is in fact the strongest ever.

it's an interesting premise! (slightly inspired by this fic, in which mob ends up at teru's school and teru's his glorious unredeemed self towards him.) (side note, teru has such an interesting redemption arc! usually we see a character do bad things, then we get the rationalization why they do them, then they realize they're wrong, then they start doing better. we don't start to piece together why teru does what he does until quite a while after he realizes he's wrong and starts to change!)

anyway. i think the hardest part of writing this comic is that i have an end goal (teru gets friends and family and isn't quite so scared and relaxes a bit), but i'm not really sure how to get there. i think a lot of it will just end up being slice-of-life teru and shigeo becoming friends while in this strange dynamic.

i also really think that having shigeo (and also reigen) be weaker than teru gives a very unique opportunity to show teru that people who love you don't have to be stronger than you to want to and try to and maybe succeed in protecting you.

thanks for the ask!!!! i'm not gonna apologize for the rambling bc i'm just not gonna this time!

[orbees]

rambling about everything thats been rattling in my brain as of late

i think the hardest part about my 20's -- especially my mid 20's cause thats when The Disabilities emerged -- is reckoning w/ the fact that my time + energy are becoming Increasingly Finite. i cant Do it all like i use to. my to-do lists will probably never be completed, probably even get to a third of everything thats on there :(

a Big part of this is because i cant rly... Ignore what my bodys telling me like i use to. which. is a Whole Thing because yeah that wasnt really Great to begin w/ and is probably even part of why im struggling sm rn

the obvious answer is like: well stop doing that dumbass but its kinda hard when you've spent your entire life being told by THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! that everything you feel is a.) wrong and b.) really inconvenient actually :/

its rly hard to put into words so ill give an example. ive struggled w/ chronic pain pretty much my entire life. ppl were kind at first. but when it didnt go away, when it Continued to cause problems, when i Continued to complain about it... ppl got tired of it. u learn pretty fast that its something u basically Have to deal w/ on ur own. this + the Undermining that tends to come w/ annoyance, at such a young age, really messed w/ my ability to like. perceive What my body's actually feeling.

to this day i still rly struggle to tell what my Body is actually feeling. my limitations, energy levels are still mostly a mystery to me because im so use to just Having to push past them. ofc Living a capitalist society only reinforces this as it feels Basically Impossible to work AND respect your body's needs.

one of the biggest ways i learned to "cope" was to basically detach myself form my body. so it is less i am Integrated into my body and more like Myself and my Body are separate things. i am me and the body is a shell that I Unfortunately am bound to.

Shockingly, thinking this way- neglecting your body, ignoring its needs, its limitations, and when things are Obviously Wrong, sometimes even outright abusing it-- has Consequences. and i have become very, very, very aware of the fact that my way Of Conceptualizing Myself, the body and self being separate, was Very Wrong. they're very much connected and dependent on each other. my late 20's especially has been a Very Harsh lesson in this. so i need to reintegrate, for the sake of both, but its hard cause those connections were burned out so long ago. its like im having to Reforge those pathways. im having to relearn how to even Exist inside my body again let alone understand anything its telling me.

and even all this, i still havent rly "figured out" how to address the fact that if i do this, im still going to have to work ._. idk. im hoping that if i actually Start Living in my Body, and Listening to it, that i can maybe take care of it a lil better, which will in turn make even that easier. but who knows. one step at a time ig. its just hard out here =_=

okay incoherent rant over thanks for reading

[hanasnx]

indy!!

i played harley quinn, batgirl, and red hood dlc missions. I loved red hood because it was just different from the rest of the game. (also bc i trapped black mask in the corner and beat the shit out of him)

i also completed all the dlc missions with bats. my fav was def the mr freeze mission. i love the ending and how it perfectly ends their story.

killer croc comes in second because i got to see my dickie!!!! <3 but not much substance

league of assassins and then mad hatter. i think the mad hatter mission from arkham city was much more fun…

that’s all for now, lots of love

-🍓

the harley quinn one was the hardest for me to adapt too but stylistically i rly enjoyed it. the red hood one was definitely a top fave of mine, bcos you got to shoot ppl fr and also his dialogue was so hot.

the mr freeze one was really sweet, but the killer croc one is my favorite by far. everything about it aesthetically to the design to the message. i think about it all the time. the way they mutated croc’s appearance based on the fact the warden kept cutting pieces of him away, forcing his body overcompensate to a grotesque degree was fascinating. the fact the villain of that story was the warden, and batman was on croc’s side for the most part. how batman advocated for the warden to be locked aside the person he called a monster. everything about it i wanna sink my teeth into. it was a very rare side of batman that we got to see a situation in which he got to show the audience how fair and just he really is. also the croc boss fight is one of the most dynamic boss fights of the series, very satisfying, gorgeous visuals. they did a great job

i think using the mad hatter as an ode to past arkham projects was really sweet, and fighting thugs from past games inside the style and flow of arkham knight was rly cool for me.

thanks for the update as always :)

[undermycoat]

I know nothing about football but I'd still like to hear about the au :3

see bc i complain and then i don't even know where to start LOL

ok so ig i'll start with the title From the Sidelines and a little description i have, to pique interest heh

Arthur is Camelot FC's star striker and captain. Merlin is the kitman. Life is hardly ever fair.

anyway . i suppose that's. a little misleading. that being said i think this grew into something waaaaay larger than i originally planned @.@ like it was supposed to be a fun little addition to the surprisingly small amt of footballer arthur fics we have but now this fic has double daddy issues (balinor my beloved...), coming out, sports injuries, shitty coaches (aredick die by my sword) and never making the national team. HUH??? i just wanted merthur to fuck on the pitch... (joke) (just in time for fuck him on the field friday)

also there's side stories. like one is when the players get handcuffed tgt for 24hrs but they've got an uneven amt for it and merlin gets roped in

and then there's the valentine's day arwen special that i somehow accidentally made into a statement about arthur's attitude toward his sexuality?? and feelings for merlin??? through his anxiety about his date with gwen????

“All good?” Merlin asks. “Never better,” Arthur replies, then pivots and walks directly into his closet. He stares at his barren shoe rack before he feels hands on his shoulders, and Merlin is turning him around and guiding him back out. “Wrong way,” he hears him say. “Right.” This time, Arthur marches out his room then down the hall to the front door. “I’ll be back.”

i'm allowed to give this info bc i don't know if i'll ever actually post the extras. i dont' even know when i'm gonna finish the main story sjkdfhgjkf

oh yeah another side story takes place in 2007 (that might be the title for it idk) and it's about uther buying camelot fc for arthur's tenth birthday LOL dont question the legaltiy of arthur playing for his father's club. i dont know and i dont care. this is fiction SIMILARLY dont say shit abt arthur being a striker and captain. it's happened before. it's literally fine. dont even worry about it

there's like. ik i rly only talked about the side stories but u have to realize just how much has already gone into this fic and i wouldn't even say i'm halfway done. i don't think i've written out a single match which is also funny bc i've been keeping up with the prem and actually think i can do it now. i just keep dragging my feet abt it lol

i think the hardest part for me is when im gonna have to seriously injure arthur. i didnt want to but i think it's an important way for his and merlin's relationship to progress and also would explain merlin's attitude toward him in january. its less abt injuring him and more abt him having to sit out of games not for like. lineup stats/compatibility reasons

oh my god typing this all out made me realize we haven't met like. half of the guys on the team yet. i was sitting here like "i need to rewatch eps with all the knights bc i dont trust myself to write percy and elyan accurately" but now i just realized i dont even know if mordred is on the like. squad yet or if he's still with the u18s (after a brief check with my info page he is. i'm gonna be sick)

like i said there is a LOT of info on this . sorry this was so long i just needed to ramble a bit and it also made me realize some info i still need to include so yayyy :3 thank you nonny if u have anything u wanna know in specific like fr anything PLEASE ask. i'd love it so much if u asked. u saved my life <3

[codes-and-stuffs]

thinking so hard abt tangtho and ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!! you should write smth with them or honestly anyone you want im just biased that's like. a Reunion. whether they thought the other was dead or they were separated for a rly long time or ANYTHING at all that comes between them for a long while, you should write a scene where they meet/find each other again and its just that sense of overwhelming gratitude and /relief/

hiiiiiii aly sorry this took so long i have been a busy bee irl but i have had this fic open and mid writing for so long :D

ao3 link HERE! fic below cut:

Tango was tired. Really tired.

It’d been a few weeks since he was anywhere he felt safe to rest, and even just sitting down for a few hours let the strange monsters following him get close enough to begin their whispers again. That was the worst part, really. All those creepy whispers, sounding so close even though he knew the creatures had never gotten closer to him than a few hundred metres away.

One thing that had always struck Tango as odd had been the language that these creatures spoke. At first, it all sounded the same: ominous, terrifying and in a strange tone that he’d never heard before. He had assumed it to be equivalent to the roaring of lion - that is, something he wouldn’t be able to understand, something inherent to the nature of the beast.

But it was, indeed, a language.

It was Etho who had first pointed it out - and goodness, did Tango miss him dearly - when two ice creatures had hissed at each other a little before seeming to decide upon which would go after which of the two humans. Their body language had been too minimal for their words not to mean anything. Since then, Tango had been keeping an ear out, hoping to pick up what he could to use for their survival.

Well. His survival.

Because he hadn’t seen Etho in nearly a month, and in a world like this one, his first guess was that the other was dead. Etho wouldn’t fall so easily, of course - if anything, it was Tango who often found himself the weaker link in terms of fighting - but Tango had very little reason to believe he would see him again. He’d been running on his own for too long. And -

The whispers struck up again, incomprehensible and threatening, and Tango got back up to his feet.

He had a long way to run.

*

Etho had been having some very mixed luck.

For one, it was a stormy day. Rain hurled itself down upon the paved slabs of the walkways, puddles forming in large gaps along the side of the paths. Most people here had decided to stay inside, gathered together by the small fireplaces in their dorms or training in the halls, but Etho found that he couldn’t quite settle. It looked like a dangerous storm to be out in alone.

But it did mean that the grounds were clear, which was what he’d been waiting for for quite some time, and so he donned his thickest coat and picked out his sharpest knife and headed out into the cold air of the morning.

The unit he was staying at was surrounded by a large rectangle of barbed wire, the fence tall and imposing and, altogether, likely useless against most of the threats that might arrive. Still, they kept out most of the nearest forces, and at least added to the overall atmosphere. It would probably be harder to convince themselves they were fighting if this place looked like the sanctuary he’d been at long ago.

He’d been having mixed luck for a while.

He was alive, for one, which was pretty lucky on its own. Statistically, he shouldn’t be. But here he was, and he hadn’t even had to survive those hardest first few months alone, and now he even had a solid place to stay. Besides all that, he’d found one of his friends, too: Doc, who ran this entire campus. And that was good. It was good that he’d gained someone by his side.

He didn’t really feel like ruminating on the things that had gone wrong.

As he approached the single gate in the fence, he pulled his coat just a little at the edges, as if somehow that might keep out the rain any more. It was particularly heavy at the moment, slamming down from the skies and shaking the fence minutely. Etho unlocked and unlatched the door with bare hands, watching as if from outside of his body as his fingers fumbled with the lock.

The gate opened and then shut behind him, and he began to make his way down the slope before him. He didn’t want to go far; he just needed to get out of the brighter lights here, to remember what it was like to know peace. He hadn’t appreciated it enough when it was there, and now…

Now he was here. And, despite having found one of his old friends, he still felt utterly alone.

A movement on the next hill over from him caught his eye. It was likely one of the very creatures he was meant to be keeping himself safe from, but something about the lack of fences around him and the sheer power of the storm bolstered his confidence. Besides, he knew he could fight. He understood his own strength. Whatever it was that was out there looked small enough to crush pretty easily.

Slipping his knife out, Etho began to make his way up the hill, eyes still tracking where the tiny movement had come from. It was still moving, he realised, though just barely, as if whatever it was had shallow breathing or was fidgeting where it sat.

He crested the hill and ducked behind a large, crooked tree, silently praying that it wouldn’t attack him while he took shelter behind it. Now that he was closer, he could hear the panting, the quiet muttering, the -

The world froze and then skittered forward jarringly as realisation set in. Etho knew that voice. He knew that presence . Heart almost beating out of his chest, he peered around the tree, eyes wide, searching desperately so that he could confirm that his mind wasn’t betraying him.

Sat on a rock, head bowed down against the heavy rain as he painstakingly wrapped his hand with a strip of pale cloth, was Tango. He looked exhausted, judging purely by his stance, but his breaths still stayed short as if he was in the middle of running from something. Etho watched him for a moment, almost disbelievingly. He was right there. He was right there .

And then his brain caught up with his body, and he near-stumbled out from behind the tree in his haste to catch Tango’s attention.

“Tango!” he half-shouted, half-whispered, still wary of the threats that were likely lurking nearby.

Tango’s head shot up to look at him, before his mouth fell open with surprise and he lifted himself to his feet.

“Etho, is that you?” Tango said. His voice came out as a rasp, like stone against stone, but he barely seemed bothered by it. “No way - there’s no way -”

Barely even registering what he was doing, Etho stepped out across the short distance between them, arms opening just enough to catch Tango as the other took off towards him as well. He was warm and solid and real in his arms. His head was tucked securely over Etho’s shoulder, and the rain felt a thousand miles away.

“I thought you were dead,” Etho murmured into Tango’s hair, and the other laughed wetly.

“I’m not that bad at surviving, give me some credit,” he said. Arms moved across Etho’s back slowly as Tango returned his close hug, his tone still purposefully light. “I don’t know how you found me, though. Even I didn't know where I was. Or where I am now.” Tango pulled back a little, just enough to meet Etho’s eyes. “Hey, Etho, where are we?”

“We’re - uh, we’re next to where Doc’s been hiding, actually.” Etho glanced back to where the fence was barely visible against the dark horizon. It was no wonder that Tango couldn’t see it; it looked as if it was part of the sky.

“Oh, you found Doc?”

“Doc found me,” Etho said with a small grin.

He paused for a moment, hovering on the edge of whether or not he should give himself away. And then Tango tilted his head a little curiously at his hesitant expression, and Etho was suddenly reminded of the long weeks he’d had to spend without him. Maybe he could allow himself a moment of weakness - just a moment. Just for Tango.

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” he admitted softly. “I thought I was fine to just look for everyone, bring them all together, but - I don’t know. I don’t know.”

There was a pause as Tango tried to scrutinise him, squinting through the rain. “You always give so much of yourself to everyone, Etho. You should let yourself have something.”

He had this sort of soft look in his eyes - the kind of look that made Etho feel like something loved. Something precious. Within that moment, Etho felt like the only thing he really wanted to have was this: the world for themselves, and Tango held safely in his arms.

He took Tango’s face in his palms, compelled mostly by affection and somewhat by instinct, before pulling them back sharply when he felt how cold it was.

“You’re freezing!” he admonished, unzipping his coat already so that he could throw it over Tango and try to warm him up a little. “How long have you been out in this storm?”

Tango gave him a tired smile and a nudge. “See, this is exactly what I mean. Never thinking of yourself, always others.”

“You’re avoiding the question.” Etho zipped the coat up and turned Tango around so that he could coax him over to Doc’s place. “We’re going to my room to warm you up, okay?”

“Oh, you have a room and everything!” Tango said. “Sounds like a great place, whatever it is.”

Etho huffed amusedly as they began their descent of the hill. He let the relief of having found Tango fade into a fuzzy warmth at the centre of his chest, glowing and warm in the cold night air. “Well, you say that now…”

*

Tango was tired. Tired beyond words - beyond even emotions, if he was being honest with himself.

Yet tonight, for the first time in weeks, he had a shelter to stay in. There were fences - terrifying and tall and functionally useless, but they were there . And somehow there was someone pressed close to him, re-wrapping his hands as he leaned against his chest and listened to his heartbeat, steady and present.

He was sure he could still hear the echoes of whispers in his ears. He still felt strange, letting himself curl up and lie comfortably. It didn��t matter so much, though, when he had Etho right here.

Shutting his eyes against the rest of the world, he bid his muscles to relax, and let himself pretend that it wasn’t the end of the world.

[newty]

dion fic ch2 meta and edit process!

this chapter kicked my butt! i did not expect it to get so long but overall i like the places i went to a lot. overall i think that in a perfect world, there's a lot i would have extended and lingered on more, but the work it would take + the return it would give wouldn't be that different. i wanted to move on rather than beat over the same themes in the name of a smoothly completed scene. i think this choice is evident in the way each scene ends a bit abruptly.

this was the hardest chapter to keep my limited 3rd person pov active tho omg. terence and kihel had so many thoughts that i had to hold onto for later while dion made everything about himself. this chapter was full of demands on terence, but it also will be the end of dion's passivity after he realized that he was party to his own 'uselessness.'

i like that i was able to keep dion's relationship with kihel a little fraught, too. i didnt want them to be immediately buddy-buddy in some kind of Destined Together vein, so it was important for me to keep giving them misunderstandings and things that isolated them from each other.

their conversation while gathering yarrow is also a mess i enjoy. kihel doesn't have the ability to express herself as succinctly as dion does, so it becomes extremely one-sided, awkward, and confusing with too many emotions that don't get properly tied up. walking away and not addressing that (beyond some lousy attempts) was important to me. they're all in an extremely uncomfortable situation and nothing will relieve that but time (and more earnest but lousy attempts).

i think that the aether floods disappeared within a few weeks or less of the game's end. people still avoid those areas from superstition, which freed up moore for some bearer irony. at first i wanted to fill the town with branded while the chapel operated like a sanctuary for those in worse health, but then i narrowed the whole operation to the chapel and ahmed. the dragon was also irony re: doing its job rly bady and being a confused angry disabled weapon that terence has to smack down with

speaking of terence. hes exhausted. i wanted to give the dragon fight some Real Repercussions but after dion went thru his whole church monologue i was like. yeah no i dont need to add another thing to the pot rn. i also wanted him comparatively healthy to dion and his rock skin.

anyway. worming in part of the eucharistic prayer/roman canon into dions orgasm was probably top tier blasphemy im ngl. that sex scene was an absolute MESS of half-conversations and lifelong guilt. at some point i sat there like. if these bitches dont stop being sad abt the One good thing ive allowed them, im gonna have to find Another way to get them to be shitty dads and leave a re-traumatized girl home alone so they can try again.

have i mentioned lately that i love writing idiot men that find increasingly convoluted ways to validate their increasingly selfish decisions. bc. theyre back.

regardless, the bit of prayer after my shameless lifting of ascension lyrics is from an intersession to st george. shout-out to the prof dragon killer himself but hes got good violent prayers. i also made a really accidental shout-out to ffx tidus/yuna kiss and had to stare at a wall for 15 minutes until i decided i was NOT going to rewrite it into smth else. i just like the ocean and wanted to incorporate part of its danger into snapping dion out of his emotional suicide plan. and terence's tattoo is ffiii bahamut by amano.

next chapter is The Family Problems I Ignored And Compartmentalized For 30+ Years Are Coming Back To Bite Me In The Ass Now That I've Started My Own Fantasy Family. and TERENCE POV, FINALLY