#whilst trying to ignore I might add

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...

[julietsbody]

thirsty — coriolanus + reader : the capitol’s star player, golden boy, coriolanus snow had an odd obsession with the water girl, and what other liquids she could provide for him. 

tags : MDNI! 18+!! soccer ! tbosas au, bimbo ! reader,  squirtingggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!, fingering, pussy play, nicknames (dollface, various barbies, princess), filthy filthy stuff fr, might be a SLIGHTTTT piss kink fic, princess / special treatment, overstimulation, public sex (semi but still), voyeurism 

a / n : AND BOY I I FANTASIZE ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME IF U WERE MINE ID GIVE THIS PUSSY TO U 9-5 5-9 

the heat in panem was enough to dehydrate someone who drinks water daily in seconds, coriolanus waves a clipboard he had taken from casca in front of his face, trying to earn some cool air from it. to nobody’s surprise, the water girl had come bouncing in with your pink kitten heels, short white skirt, and pink tank top that your tits were practically spilling out of. 

your hair was pulled back into some slick back ponytail, with of course, a ribbon tied around the base of the ponytail. you always looked so perfect, makeup barely budging against the strong heat as you came waltzing in. 

you were a fan favorite of the team’s, so sejanus and festus’ heads immediately snap from the soccer ball they they were dribbling to you now. sejanus’ eyes light up immediately, waving to you, “hey!” 

you offer him a barbie - like smile, waving back with your freshly manicured nails, “hihi, sejanus! it’s sooooooo hot.” 

sejanus smiles sweetly as he approaches you, “made sure the water was cold today?” 

he’s teasing you of a time the heat was this bad and you forgot to add ice to the bucket holding the waters. you cried that day, many times. coriolanus found you having a sobbing fit in the hallway, repeating to yourself that you were so stupid. coriolanus was never good with affection, but he gave you a small hug that day, and assured you it didn’t matter at all. 

and when festus called you a dumb bitch for it? 

coriolanus made it his priority to fuck festus up on that field that day, and good lord, he did. 

festus was ushered off with a broken wrist because of a move coriolanus made, and coriolanus was taken off with a red card and a proud smirk on his face. now festus and coriolanus are never allowed on the same field, no matter what. which was good, because festus was a mediocre player, whilst coriolanus has a record for most man of the match’s won. 

you pout at him, “not funny, sej.” 

he chuckles, eyes softening at you as he tips his head in your vision, “‘m jus’ messing with you, sweet girl, water is water regardless of temperature, yeah?” 

sejanus and coriolanus were both always reassuring you, always so sweet with you despite their cold exteriors, despite the fact that they’re the most sought after players, they never let that ego get to them. 

well… sejanus didn’t. 

coriolanus did sometimes. speak of the devil, snow moves to bump into sejanus’ shoulder, offering him a toothy grin with his sharp canines. sejanus glares at him, like he was interrupting something special, “how are you in such a good mood when you were just whining over the heat?” 

coriolanus ignores sejanus’ obvious attempts to embarrass him to impress you, his blue eyes locking onto you with a whistle, “hey, malibu barbie.” 

you playfully roll your eyes at him, “you can’t just call me a different barbie every time you see me.” 

“yeah?” his jaw ticks, eyeing you up and down, god, he loved the way your short skirt rides up your thighs, the way your tits bounce through that practically see - through tank top, “why not?” 

“i don’t like it,” you pout at him. 

sejanus nods along, “yeah, snow, she doesn’t like it.” 

coriolanus sighs at him, pinching the bridge of his nose, “you’re such a cuck, dude.” 

he smirks at your ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) expression due to his words, truly not understanding what he means by calling sejanus a cuck— was he stopping him from something? 

you blink dumbly at them, and coriolanus only shrugs, turning to stride past a silent festus. 

sejanus scoffs, “can’t believe he gets away with shit like that.” 

you frown at him, “he’s probably having a rough day— or like… ‘m not sure, you know how he is, sej.” 

“yeah, yeah,” sejanus watches as his cleats sink into the grass, “pretty sure he has a huge crush on you, too.” 

ㅤ˚₊‧ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

PANEM 6-2 DISTRICT 2 

as soon as the match was over, coriolanus came up to you, sweat causing his platinum hair to stick to his forehead as he takes a cold water bottle from your hands, fingers brushing against yours. 

he takes a sip from it before leaning in to tower over you, “you saw that bicycle kick?” 

you nod at him excitedly, “i did! you’re soo good, coriolanus.” 

he rolls his tongue along his teeth, “yeah? you think so?” 

you smile sweetly at him with more nods as he walks past to the locker - room, sejanus moving to wrap his arm around coriolanus’ shoulders, to be honest, sejanus should be thanked for coriolanus’ bicycle kick because he’s the reason the ball was even at a level for coriolanus to kick it— but will coriolanus ever admit that? 

of course not! 

in fact, coriolanus doesn’t even think of all his achievements this match even when everyone is patting him on the back, dumping their water bottles on him and leaving him even more drenched than he was before. but with all this water, he just can’t stop thinking of you. 

that expression on your face earlier, plump lips parted in shock, he wonders how well they would wrap around his cock— 

@csnow18 : hey you busy

@csnow18 : ? 

you pluck out your phone as soon as it buzzes, only to see a message from coriolanus, on instagram. he had your number.. why didn’t he… honestly, you knew better than to question him at this point. 

@princess101 : no.. why? 

@csnow18 : im really thirsty 

@princess101 : just gave u water ‎‎໒꒰ྀི -᷅ ⤙ -᷄ ꒱ྀིა 

@csnow18 : festus took it from me 

a lie. 

@csnow18 : come to the locker room? 

@princess101 : rolling my eyes at u rn

@princess101 : u owe me 

@princess101 : and stop letting festus take stuff from u!!!!!!!! 

this wasn’t the first time he has lied about festus taking his water bottle just to see you, but it was the first he had different intentions for when he saw you. 

he already knows you’re coming before you’re even there, mostly because he can hear the click! clack! of your heels, but also because of the whistles of the people passing by you. coriolanus hated how people immediately turned to drooling animals when they saw you, it wasn’t of jealousy but rather possessiveness, because can he really blame them? 

his eyes light up when he sees you, pushing his soaked hair back, “tropical splash barbie.” 

you pout at him, putting your hands on your hips, “how do you even know so many barbies?” 

he shrugs simply, “because i see one every day.” 

you sigh, moving to push a water bottle to his chest, “happy?” 

“hey,” he leans in closer, fingers wrapping around the bottle, “why’re you actin’ like that?” 

“‘m not acting like anything,” you lie, “just don’t get thirsty again.” 

as soon as you spin on your heel to walk away, he clicks his tongue disappointedly, “you know… i don’t know if this water is g’na keep me hydrated enough.” 

you blink at the floor, what? what… “what?”

you turn back around to meet his eyes, watching his pupils immediately dilate at the way your skirt barely shows your panties whenever you twirl around, “do you just serve water, princess?” 

you stare at him dumbly, “i don’t get it—“ 

“you don’t?” he takes a step closer, “i see the way you look at me, doll, always watching when i make a goal, cheering me on, purposefully bouncing up and down so your panties show and your tits nearly pop out that shirt.” 

it was true. all so fucking true. the entire team was so, so attractive, especially coriolanus— you don’t ever wear things for men, but the men of panem’s soccer team? your own dress - code is practically the tightest, most slutty clothes ever! 

“i…” you pause, lips shimmering from your lip - gloss, “i do have other juices.” 

his tongue rolls along the inside of his teeth, tights curling upwards ever so slightly, “think i might need those, dollface.” 

you nod at him, “but— not here.” 

he hums, moving to drop the water bottle onto the ground as he leans in closer and closer until his lips are buzzing against your cheek, “yes, here.” 

you can’t help but melt into his touch as he peppers kisses along your face, pecking against your lips until his kisses drop down to run along your neck. your nails rake up his arms ever so gently, “people will catch us..” 

“mm - mm,” he disagrees, “all showerin’, jus’ let me get hydrated, yeah?” 

 he’s quick to move to his knees, smiling whenever he catches a glimpse of you looking around to see if anyone’s coming as his fingers trace along your thighs, lips following along after them. you’re so paranoid, god, for such a dumb slut, you really didn’t want to get caught. 

he hikes your skirt up to catch a glimpse of your panties, pastel red, to match the team’s colors and oh— oh what’s this? on the right side near your hip, it’s his player number, 18, with a heart surrounding it. he gawks up at you, chuckling at the reason for you always wanting to show off your panties, you had already marked him on them. 

you shyly hide your face, trying to ignore him until his finger presses against the wet spot of your panties left by your cunt. you shiver under his touch, “been wet for me all day, hm?” 

you nod at him, fingers moving to faintly cover your mouth, “always wanted you, corio..” 

he presses a sweet kiss to your inner thigh, before hooking a finger on your delicate panties and tugging them down, “you wrote my number on all your panties?” 

you continue nodding, shivering when his fingers lightly graze along your cunt, “mhm.. sej— sej.. is on some, too.” 

“that so? maybe i should get him out here to fuck you, too,” he presses his thumb against your clit, watching your hips buck ever so slightly, lashes fluttering. 

you shake your head, “n-no.. not now— want.. just you.” 

he moves to push your legs apart with his free hand, moving his hand on your clit out of the way so he can finally dive in. his tongue is quick to lick a stripe up your cunt, lips wrapping around your clit and taking it in his mouth to suck on with ease. 

your fingers move to his head, nails threading through his wet hair as you bite on the fingers of your free hand, trying so hard to not make any noise but gosh, the feeling of his mouth on you was just too much. 

his hand runs up your thigh, holding you stable as his mouth completely devours your cunt, not offering you any remorse as your hips jerk against nothing, teeth sinking past layers of your skin to muffle your whines. 

it’s not long before his hand is sliding from your thigh to your cunt as his lips move back up to your clit, ever so slowly sliding two of his fingers inside of your soaked entrance. you took his fingers so well, velvet walls pulsing around flesh and bone, tightening around him like he was a lifeline. 

your grip on his hair immediately becomes lethal, babbling nonsense against your finger, “corio— co..corio… ‘ts too much— ‘m gonna..” 

that was coriolanus’ cue, his fingers immediately curl into you and he starts moving them back and forth so his fingers are repeatedly penetrating that spongey spot that makes your eyes roll back. you tug at his hair as the sounds of his fingers moving inside of you become wet squelching, a familiar feeling washing over you but with a tinge of something different. 

it felt like an orgasm but no— no, it was wetter than an orgasm, because now his hand was completely drenched in your wetness, his lips moved to a part so it could spray into his mouth. it was so, so filthy, the way he gulped it down, and made you squirt again, and again, and again. 

you were like a fountain of nectar that he just couldn’t get enough of. 

you were so fucked out that you didn’t realize you were cuming again until your body is wracked with another orgasm, gushing all over his fingers and into his mouth once more. you whimper above him, silently begging for mercy as he continues to pump his fingers into your overstimulated pussy, “corio— please.. too much— can’t..” 

he licks the remaining juices from his lips as he finally pulls his fingers out, lapping up the cum and other substances dripping off of his skin. he takes a grip of your hips to stabilize you as he stands, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “thank you, dollface, such a good water girl.” 

your lips part to speak but you’re interrupted by the clearing of a throat. 

your eyes immediately snap to the side, only to find.. 

“sejanus?”  

[pinkslaystation]

[Part 2] If I meant something to you.

toxic!Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

Here's part 1 hee hee hee hee Here's part 3 You believe Simon's changed his ways after your sister's engagement. After his actions, you still want him, but does he want you? Word Count: 3.6k

A half naked woman running out of Simon's flat? A surprise indeed it was.

You really thought he reciprocated the same feelings as you did at one point, for once in your life feeling as if someone truly did want you for you, but that fantasy had dried out, and it was clear Simon had no intentions with you.

Your replacement proved it.

Before you began to weep in front of the Brit again, you hurried to your flat door, rummaging through your sweatshirt pockets for your key, wanting to wallow back into a state of depression in the comfort in your own home.

Simon didn't follow you, instead he just leaned against his door frame, sexily might I add, intensely watching you clumsily rip out past receipts and snotty used tissues from your pockets. He wanted to say something, ask you how your day had been, even thought it just turned 9 A.M.

Then it hit you.

You think back to your previous steps. You woke up at 8:30, you read the texts from your sister, made yourself some coffee, which you definitely think had gone off, and left your home, feigning a state of happiness.

You didn't take your keys with you. They sat on your kitchen counter, almost like they were mocking you for being so careless.

Banging your head against the door, you curse, "Fuck's sake...."

You mentally note that this is probably one of the most humiliating scenes you've found yourself in, nearly as bad enough as your 18th birthday, when your parents congratulated your younger brother instead of you accidently.

Simon exhales a puff of smoke towards your direction, you were so fixed on trying to get inside, you didn't catch him lazily eyeing you whilst lighting a cigarette into his mouth.

"You...wanna come inside?" He asks nonchalantly, looking at the sky, avoiding your gaze as if to seem cooler than you.

"Why would I do that? I don't wanna know where that bitch has been..." You scoff, referring to the girl. You want to look away from him, but his blonde chest hair glistens in the sunlight, enticing you to follow his instructions. He's not even all military mode on you but you already find yourself acting submissive around his presence again.

He grunts, thinking about what to say next, "Well for starters, Francesca's no one...and, where else are ya gonna go?" The sarcasm is sharp in his voice.

So you were replaced by a Francesca.

"And listen love, face it, you need something from me, come in so we can talk. Can't guarantee we'll do a lot of talkin' though..." His words trails off, trying to convince you. Boy, is it working...

His eyebrows are raised, and he purposely flexes his still wet pecs.

Fuck it. You think, barging into his room, purposely bumping shoulders.

You finally enter Simon's room for the first time.

Simon wasn't completely heartless.

Yes, his childhood trauma resulted in his avoidant nature, ignoring his team in order to work alone on the field, disobeying his Captain to do what he'd deemed as best, and even ghosting you ever time you tried reaching out to you. What you didn't know though, was that Simon had given you his previous phone number, one he doesn't use anymore...

Late nights in his hospital bed led him trying to stalk you through Facebook, which no one your age uses by the way (don't tell him that), and every time his searches led him to nothing.

Had he not been so foolish, he would have manned up and straight up demanded you for your number. But he didn't, instead he told you he'd find you if he needed you, which was becoming more and more infrequent.

Yet here he lies, now clad in a loose black top and sweatpants, sitting across from you on his couch in his oddly empty room, hearing you out.

"'Kay so, your sister wants you at her engagement and you need a date, and you have no other friends but me, and you want me to be your fake date." He repeats back to you.

You hum, "For someone that didn't finish secondary school, you're quite smart."

Simon chuckles at the reciprocates banter, "And...what's in it for me?"

You scrunch your nose, "What?"

"What's in it for me." He enunciates his word, as if speaking to a baby, "What do I benefit from this?"

"Are you fuckin' for real, you've basically used me for your own pleasure, and you can't even fake a relationship in front of my family for like a couple of hours?"

You stand up, ready to leave, not willing to be disrespected again.

"Love, listen," Simon pulls on your arms, and you begin to notice the fresh scars decorating his forearms.

"Our relationship...platonic of course, it's like a business. You want something, you gotta work for it."

You're stunned, did he just insinuate that you were merely a business partner to you? Can this man be anymore of an ass, than he already is, reducing your relationship to a step below a 'situation-ship'.

"What possibly could I have that you need?"

"Yeah," he gruffs out, contemplating his decision, "not money 'cos I got more of that than you..."

He sits there in mock confusion, but you had a feeling he knew what he wanted from you the moment you spat out your request at his door earlier.

Before you try cursing him out again, your attention shifts to the ping from your phone, another unfamiliar number, but not from your sister.

10:32 A.M. ####:- Hey kiddo, how's life been treating you. ####:- Finally gotta a job? ####:- Can't wait to see you, your brother's been waiting to introduce you to his new girlfriend, good addition to the family this time I think. ####:- You're getting older now, unmarried and unemployed. Chop Chop.

Great, just a monthly reminder from your father that you've already been replaced by your brother's new fling for the week.

Now you really needed that date.

"I'll fuck you." You state.

Simon stares at your new found dominance, standing up to purposely look down at you and tower over you, disliking the sense of authority shifting between you two.

"Once again, dove."

"Just. Fuck. Me. Simon. Get this shit over with." You command.

Okay, now you actually felt used. Blackmailed into having sex with Simon, just for him to get what he wants really was the all time low for you. And you've hit rock bottom multiple times.

You wake up light-headed, in Simon's empty bed. The bedside table held a small note in messy handwriting and a singular key.

Headed out to the pub, got a spare key for your room. You better be out of there by the time I get back. Jesus, you got the hint.

You wonder why and where Simon got a spare key from, realising that this situation could have been rectified from the beginning, instead he basically coerced you into sex just to fulfill his needs.

Your mother would die if she knew what your life was like.

Walking back into your room, you shoot a text to Simon, your now fake date, informing him of the fool-proof plan you'd come up with.

As you rest on your couch, thinking about the future ahead of you, and your head unconsciously drifts to that dreaded question:

What if you hurt Simon like he's hurt you?

The next few days was filled with your evenings trying to explain the dynamics of your family to Simon and teaching him more about you.

"And what, they went to the theme park and just left you there? Ain't that borderline abuse?" He questions, a small guilty feeling arising in the pit of your stomach learning about how similar both of yours fucked childhood was like.

You shrug, used to being kicked to the curb. You stop yourself before making some remark that he has no right to act upset about your parents behaviour when he's acting no better.

You tell him your middle name, hell, you tell him the correct spelling of your first name, and you stare at him, embarrassed that this hunk has pounded at your core but doesn't even know the vowels in your name.

"And last week was my birthday if they ask, and you better tell them I celebrated it by going to the cinema with my friends." You inform him, hoping some of this information gets retained into his pea sized head.

Simon cringes, unaware of your birthday, recalling the numerous amount times you'd shot him a smile that day, urging at least one person to wish you a happy birthday. He cocks his head, "What friends?" before correctly himself, "I mean, names wise."

"....you gotta make them up."

Note to self: Make new friends.

The big day comes and you and Simon had driven to the venue of your sister's engagement party. Extravagant was an understatement. Anyone that would look at this event would assume your parents were millionaires, but they're not considering only 2 out of 3 children received trust funds.

You wore a sleek black dress with a slit by your right leg, and Simon matched with a clean black suit which, by the way, you paid for.

Though you would usually drink in his appearance, his recent brooding behaviour gnawed in your mind, so no matter how many smiles he sent your direction, they couldn't dispel the unease settling in your gut.

The first hour consisted of the pair of you awkwardly standing around, drinking numerous glasses of the finest champagne, with his broad arm hovering over your shoulder.

"Where's the family?" He asks eyeing every guy that even so glances your direction.

You shrug, glancing at your unread messages to your sister.

1:00 P.M. You:- hey :) made it, wru??? You:- looks very grand btw!! 1:29 A.M. You:- hello? where's ma? 1:37 A.M. You:- champagne's tastyyy You:- hi wru 1:59 A.M. You:- bruh did you rly invite me just to ignore me???

Simon winces at your phone, reminding himself to finally get your number so at least someone would reply to your messages.

"You made it!"

You both turn around at the chirpy voice, instantly locking eyes with your sister.

"Hey, you didn't read my texts, been here for an hour now." You question, as you're being pulled into a hug.

"Oh that was you? Sorry, I haven't saved you on my phone," she laughs. You glance at Simon almost offended by that, even though you hadn't saved her number either.

"Introduce me to the big guy!" She nudges you, and Simon interrupts you before you open your mouth.

"Lieutenant Simon Riley, and uh- also boyfriend." He extends his arm, and you can't tell whether he's faking his grin or not.

She drags his forearms, yanking him away from you and ushering him along eagerly., "You need to meet my family, come come!", as they walk off together, and you find yourself standing there, left to socialise with someone else.

At 3 P.M., you navigate yourself to your family and your 'boyfriend', whom at this point, had really seemed to fit in with the community. Your father hadn't believed that you scored a buff military commander, and if he wasn't unhappily married to your mother, you'd bet 10 quid that he'd be all over Simon.

"Served in Afghanistan huh?" He chuckles boisterously.

"Yes sir." Simon actually looks like he's having fun, displaying the look of admiration for having an almost father-like figure in his life. He begins you question why you dislike your family so much, they're great!

"And you watch football lad?" He pats Simon on his back.

"Avid fan, sir."

Your father shakes Simon's hand, immediately surprised by his firm grip, "Good man. Don't let go of this one, love." He nods towards you, his smile twitching at Simon, who's basically gripping the bones through his wrist.

You force a smile hugging into your boyfriend's side, shouldn't he be saying that to your Simon, rather than you? I mean it's either your biological daughter you've sort of brought up her entire life versus a solider you've known for about an hour.

"Son, take some notes from your sister, no wonder you're single every other day." Your father reprimands your brother, who flinches from the sudden sound of disapproval and grips his girlfriend's forearm tighter. For sure the first time you're actually than him, at finding a better fake partner.

Your mother, on the other hand, was virtually glued to the other side of Simon, gripping his biceps and fawning over his muscles to your brother, who's actually looked like the only one who saw through your facade.

"Wow, you must really enjoy the gym, sweetie." She bags her eyes, disgustingly.

"Yes ma'am."

She addresses you, for what you think was the first time in over a year, and mouths sternly, "I was wrong, I approve."

The entire event was a drag to you, something you weren't used to at all, considering the majority of your childhood was mainly you being left home during such big events, but Simon managed to enjoy the evening whilst successfully lying to your entire family.

"Me and the missus have been together for 10 months now. She's very happy." He raises his glass to you, eliciting a genuine smile from you. It was times like this that you wished that you and Simon just tied the knot and just began dating. However, you couldn't ignore those underlying feelings of a simmering anger, a desire to confront him publicly for using you for so long.

"I am..." It sounds more like a question than a reply, kissing him, in mock affection.

"You need to stay over our place, Simon darling," Your mother gleams, with your father agreeing, "You can stay in the study!"

"You mean my old bedroom?"

It's midnight, and your family have finally fell asleep in the place you once called home.

You lay next to Simon on your old bed, inspecting your previous room. The walls were no longer painted your favourite colour, but now was coated in a dull grey, your desk now replaced by a vintage looking oak table, definitely all to accommodate your father's taste. Any speck of 'you' had been wiped out from the room, and Simon wonders what young you was like.

"That was very fun...I like 'em, your family." He whispers almost inaudibly, fatigue evident in his words. His arm is draped comfortably around your neck, your head resting in the nook of his armpit.

You hum. The unfamiliar attention Simon had brought up on the two of you exhausted you, though a small part of you liked it, that now your mother actually cared about what you got up with him on a daily basis.

"Simon..." You begin, "What- what are we? If anything..."

You're anticipating his rejection.

"Neighbours..." He mouths silently.

You nod at him, hoisting yourself up on your elbows, although his eyes are closed.

"Simon. It's just that. I know it's all a show...but today it didn't feel like pretend...And when you said you wanted to marry me to my mum, it's just, I don't know, didn't feel fake you know. Felt real..Simon...Simon?"

He snores in response.

Great. You're just confessing to the thin air.

If he doesn't take you out, socialising for almost 9 hours straight will. You pass out next to him, no longer under his arm. Simon lays next to you, watching the slow rise of fall of your chest, after faking a snore.

He stares at the ceiling thinking about the day.

Come morning, and you find yourself sitting at the dining table next to Simon, who'd found himself in a hearty conversation with your parents, sister and future brother in law.

Across from you is your brother, whom you're sure didn't fall for your ruse.

His expression reveals concern as he gazes at you, almost as if he's silently urging you to unravel the tangled web of lies you've woven.

With a swift motion, he picks up his phone, arching an eyebrow in your direction, just as your phone chimes with a notification.

9:12 A.M. ####:- ik you two aren't dating. ####:- better fess up before i do

He smirks at you, your expression mirrors one of close defeat.

9:13 A.M. You:- ik you mad that she cheats on you every friday. You:- better check her private 2nd insta account before i do

Your brother looks up, hesitant to curse you out in front of everyone.

You 1, your brother 0.

Breakfast was served at this time you actually got the same amount of food as your siblings did, although Simon beat all 3 of you for it. Even though your sister was celebrating her engagement, the entire conversation was stuck on you and Simon.

Credits to your parents, because you were actually learning things about Simon, and you wonder if he thinks you're self-obsessed given that you've forced every fact about you down his throat and you haven't even given a minute for him.

"...and my Captain John Price, great guy. She loves him actually." He nudges you, breaking you from your trance.

"Huh."

Everyone on the table turn to you as Simon rubs your knee softly.

"OH. Um, yeah. Mr Price, John, um, great guy, handsome and so hot. Love him. The best really."

As you stumbled over your words, trying to cover up the slip, Simon gave you a reassuring squeeze on your knee. His eyes conveyed a silent message, telling you that it was okay and that they didn't catch you in a lie.

Your brother, however, shot you a knowing look, his expression a mix of amusement and annoyance. It was clear that he had caught onto your the slip up.

"Alright, enough about work," your mother interjected, steering the conversation away from Simon's military life. "Let's talk about something more fun. Like the wedding!"

The topic shifted to your sister's upcoming wedding, and you found yourself for once engaged in a lively discussion with your family about venues, dresses, and guest lists. Simon chimes in, his comments light-hearted and filled with humor.

As the breakfast progressed, you couldn't shake off the feeling of guilt gnawing at you. Your brother's text had reminded you that you were deceiving your family, and although it had started as a harmless ruse, it was beginning to feel like a weight on your shoulders.

After the meal, you and Simon got ready to depart, and as Simon and the rest of your family went to his car, you stood back at the front door, watching how perfect Simon fit in with them.

"It's obvious you don't like him."

You turn to the voice: your brother.

Your groan, "You again? Can't you just leave me alone, God's sake..."

"Aren't you a 'lil worried about how easily he lies though?" he taunts, "how'd you get him here? Money? Or you hold him over a secret? Maybe...sex?"

"What's your problem? Can't you just be happy I'm with someone?" You step back from him.

"Of course I am, if he doesn't like who, who else will, no? I'm just looking out for you bro. It's not gonna last, take it from someone who's in and out of relationships like your guy's in and out of other women."

You squint your eyes at him, confused.

"Grace, Josie, Francesca..." he trails off walking slowly towards the rest of the group. Francesca? That name rings a bell...

"Word of advice, don't leave your phone out in the open, I mean the amount of nudes on there, you'd think his gallery was a porn site! And without a password? Didn't know you were into whores, sis." He cackles.

And here you thought the trip had altered the dynamic.

The ride home was 2 hours too long and too silent. You contemplated your next move. Do you beat around the bush or straight up ask him if he's still seeing other people behind your back? You know he doesn't owe you anything, he is your FAKE boyfriend, right? But, why did it feel so real?

"So..." he starts.

You rest your head on the window, "So..."

His hand moves to your thigh, squeezing gently before moving towards your core slowly.

"That was fun." He states.

You hum.

"Real cool family, huh."

You hum once again, unsure what to say.

"We should do that again..."

You look at him confused.

"Are you serious? I think they still think that they have 2 kids, they focused on you the entire time-"

"Well, it's not like you put in much effort to talk, love."

That shuts you up.

He sighs at your silence, "Listen, I've been thinking."

You glance at him, hoping he'd kick you out of his car and let you walk the rest of the way home, too ashamed to be in his vicinity.

"Your parents were hinting us to take the next move you know..."

"Neighbours to friends?" You question.

He laughs, "Your family's great, your sister's and her lad, real cute couple you know, I felt at home...so I was thinking...we should try it you know, going out I guess."

You scrunch your face at him, was he really convinced into asking you out because your parents asked him? And here you were, months of trying to hint to wanting more, and the moment your demanding parents butt in, he's just going to do what they say? And the fact that he couldn't even say the word relationship.

Who the fuck does he think he is?

You cross your arms in annoyance. You were tired of being pushed around like a doormat.

Your brother's words ring through your head, as Simon drives.

It's not gonna last, take it from someone who's in and out of relationships like your guy's in and out of other women.

All the signs point towards rejecting his proposal. He doesn't want you, he just wants the safest route. You being in a relationship with him isn't going to stop him fucking other women.

Why would you waste your time with a guy to whom you meant nothing to?

So you decide to give it to him directly.

"Yes. I'll be your girlfriend."

Thank you all so much for the interactions on part 1! Means a lot :D THERE WILL BE A PART 3 LMAOOO i did not intend for this fic to be long but here we are. lemme know you're interested to be tagged in my future posts! tags -> @lilliumrorum, @kxtz3, @poohkie90, @rainlovesyou12, @restrictionsapply, @lunamoonbby, @nigthmar3moon, @thychuvaluswife, @itsnourm, @bubusi11, @owkittie

[marie-swriting]

He'll Be Here | In My Life Again - Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw [2/2]

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Part one

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : ten years later, Bradley wants to apologize for the way it ended between you and him.

Warnings : set after Top Gun Maverick, Mitchell!reader, angst, happy ending, maybe some grammatical as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 3.6k

Song inspiration : The Last Time (Feat. Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol) (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

After spending several hours working on Pete’s P-51 Mustang, this latter and Bradley go to have a drink in Pete’s kitchen. Bradley sits down while Pete opens the fridge and looks for two beers ; Bradley’s eyes find a picture on the wall, he looks at his eighth birthday photo with nostalgia. His cake is in front of him and you by his side. Both of you have a huge smile on your face, ignorant of what the future would hold for you. Bradley’s heart tightens in his chest when Bradley remembers he’ll never have the opportunity of seeing your radiant smile on your face whilst he’s next to you again. 

Pete puts a beer in front of Bradley and snaps him out of his thoughts. He thanks him and takes a sip, his eyes finding their way back to the picture, in spite of him.

“You know,” Bradley starts, catching Pete’s attention, “that day, there was a moment where Y/N wasn’t next to me anymore so I went to look for her. I found her hiding in my closet with tears in her eyes. When I asked her what was the matter, she just told me to not pay attention to her, that I needed to stay with my other friends. I said to her I didn’t care about them, especially because she needed me at that moment. That’s when she confessed she was scared of losing me because I had met friends my age who would replace her. I couldn’t believe she thought that !” he exclaims, his eyes wide open. “In my head, it was obvious she could never be replaced, no matter how close I was to my other friends so I promised her she’d never lose me, that I’ll always be by her side. No matter what. I made her this promise and I’ve been breaking it for ten years now.” Bradley mutters, looking down.

“Have you tried talking to her ?” Pete asks, after a few seconds.

“Yes, several times over the years. The first time was a year after our breakup. I wasn’t far away from her Uni so I went to see her. Long story short, she told me to get lost. The last time was a week ago when she came back. I got the same reaction.”

“I’m sure she just needs a bit of time.” Pete reassures him, putting his hand on Bradley’s shoulder. “I never thought you’d talk to me again and look at us ! Things can get better. The bond you two shared was strong.” he affirms.

“I find that hard to believe, she hates me. And don’t even try to tell me otherwise.” Bradley adds, seeing Pete was about to talk. “She hates me and it’s understandable.” he admits, sadly. “She had nothing to do with all of this and yet I hold her accountable just the same. And the worst part is she warned me.” he specifies, taking another sip. “There were numerous times where she told me to get my shit together and stop ruining our relationship because of my anger toward you but I didn’t listen to her. I took her for granted so I kept messing up until she got tired of it and I’ve been paying the price ever since.” Bradley exclaims, bitterly. “You know, I’ve accepted the fact she’d never forgive me, however I’d still like to apologise properly. I just want her to know how much I regret how things ended between us, no matter if she answers me or just insults me. It might be too late but she deserves me to fix my mistakes, no matter if she forgives me.”

“I can talk to her if you want to. I can convince her to listen to you.”

“No, don’t say anything.” Bradley refuses after drinking. “If she listens to me I want it to be because she wants to, not because you asked her to.”

“As you wish.” he concedes with a heavy heart.

The two men stay silent for a moment, enjoying their drink. Bradley is finally able to detach his gaze from the photo, staring into the void.

“You still love her, don’t you ?” Pete asks, bringing Bradley’s eyes on him.

“And I always will. She was my first friend and my first love. She’ll always have a place in my heart even if I don’t have one in hers anymore. I miss her so much, Mav’, if you knew.” Bradley confesses, tearing up.

“She’ll never say it out loud but she misses you too. Bradley, I promise you things will get better between the two of you.”

Bradley takes the last sip of his beer, hoping it’ll help him with his tears and the knot in his throat. At the same time he puts the bottle down, the main door opens. He knows it’s you so he quickly stands up. He doesn’t want to give you another reason to hate him therefore he tries not to run into you, though his heart only wants that. You walk in the kitchen, talking about your afternoon with Penny and Amelia to your father until you find Bradley. Instantly, you tense up and glare at your former best friend. Bradley bids goodbye to you and Pete before leaving. Pete rolls his eyes at your attitude.

“What ? I didn’t tell him anything.” you defend yourself, searching for something in the fridge.

“You might as well have.”

“Look, it’s not because you forgave him that I have to be nice to him.” you retort, closing the fridge without finding anything interesting. “Unlike you, I haven’t forgotten the way he treated us, the way he cut us out of his life.”

“I haven’t forgotten either.”

“Really ? Because it sure seems like it. It seems you’ve forgotten the pain he caused us, caused me, all the nights I spent crying because of him, all the nights where you had to hold me in your arms while I was sobbing.”

“I remember very well.” Pete admits, trying to stay calm, “But Y/N, he’s changed, okay ? Besides, he was grieving, he was hurt, angry and young-”

“Young ?” you cut him, furious. “He was twenty-five ! He was a grown ass adult, he knew very well what he was doing.”

“Okay, he has his faults as well, but he really feels bad about the way he treated you. You could at least listen to him.” he suggests and you roll your eyes.

“And did he listen to you when you tried to explain yourself ? He sent you packing. I don’t get why I should be the one making an effort. And as my father, shouldn’t you be telling me to stay away from him ?”

“Not when I know what you mean to each other.”

“He doesn’t mean anything to me. And for a long time now.” you state.

“It’s not true and you know it.”

“I don’t understand why you insist so much.”

“I’m responsible for your fallout.”

“He messed up himself.” you correct, tearing up. “He’s the one who let his anger destroy what we had. He’s the one who distanced himself from me. He ruined everything himself.”

“It’s true, nonetheless you can’t deny if I hadn’t pulled his papers, you’d still be together. Hell, you’d probably even be married with a kid now !”

“Wow, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” you say, shocked. “If he hadn’t fucked up, we’d probably still be together, yeah but the fact is you’re not responsible for it. Look, I’m glad you two put your differences aside, it just won’t be the case for me. Anyway, we should stop here.” you order, crossing your arms on your chest. “I don’t want to argue with you, I only have two weeks left with you before I go home.”

“You can be stubborn at times !” he sighs.

“I got that from my dad.” you smile at him.

“Sometimes,  I wish you hadn’t.”

You roll your eyes and laugh a little before starting to leave the room.

“He came back for me.” Pete confesses, stopping you in your tracks.

“What are you talking about ?”

“During my last mission.”

“I thought it was Hangman.” you say, frowning. 

“Hangman came to save us when we were on our way home. Bradley had strict orders to leave me behind when I sacrificed myself for him. But he came back. He didn’t listen and he came back. Without him, I probably wouldn’t have been able to leave the enemy territory.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before ?” you ask softly.

“Bradley told me not to. He didn’t want you to think he did that out of interest.”

You stay silent for a few moments, taking in this new piece of information. You can’t help but feel grateful for Bradley, though your anger is still there.

“It’s good to know that, at least, in the air, he has your back.” you state, leaving.

Pete sighs, seeing you walk away. He knows he promised Bradley to not get in the middle of this - even Penny told him to stay out of it, yet he can’t help it. You and Bradley were childhood best friends. He never would have imagined you’d stop talking to each other, in particular because of him. That’s why he can’t stay silent. He might have been the cause of your conflit but he wants to be the reason for your reconciliation. Furthermore, he knows he can reason you and with this last information, he was hoping it’d make you change your mind. Pete can’t help but feel a heartache, understanding it’s not the case.

However, what Pete doesn’t know is that your conversation has affected you. That night, you can’t seem to fall asleep. Your father’s words and your story with Bradley are echoing in your head. You keep tossing and turning in your bed, desperately hoping to put your brain on hold.

Once you can’t take it anymore, you turn on your bedside lamp and stand up. You walk to your closet and open it. You take a deep breath before pushing some clothes to the side in the corner of your closet until you find a box, you haven’t opened it for years. When you had started to grieve your romance with Bradley, you had put every picture, letter and object reminding you of him in that box. You were still too attached to him to throw everything away but too hurt to keep everything next to you.

The box in your hand, you sit down and open it. Tears make their way to your eyes in an instant as soon as you find your prom photo - if your heart wasn’t hurting that much, you’d laugh at your dress. In the picture, you’re looking at each other lovingly. You wish you could go back to this moment where everything was easier.  You put the picture next to you and keep finding others from birthday parties, outings, travels you did at different ages. You hold back your tears until you read the letter he wrote for your eighteenth birthday. At that moment, it becomes too much so you quickly put everything back at its place and go back to bed.

Of course, you’re still hurting from your breakup. Bradley was the most important person to you though you can’t forget the way it ended. With what your father told you, Bradley seems to be the Bradley you used to love once more but you can’t risk another heartbreak. 

For the first time in ten years, your heart seems torn between staying mad at Bradley or hearing him out. You try to reason yourself, remembering why you’re angry at him in the first place, though it’s complicated now.

Sitting at the restaurant near Top Gun, you finish telling your order to the waiter. Once he leaves, you grab your phone and send a text to your father to inform him you’ve already ordered. You’re supposed to eat with Pete who is more than thirty minutes late and quite frankly, you’re starving. You don’t worry when you get no response, knowing he probably hasn’t finished working yet. 

While waiting for your food, you keep checking your phone until the hostess comes to you. Expecting to see your dad, you put your phone down, smiling. Your smile disappears as soon as you see Bradley. The woman wishes you a nice meal before leaving you two alone. Bradley is uncomfortable because of the look you’re giving.

“What are you doing here ?” you question, drily.

“Huh, I’m supposed to eat with Mav’.”

“No, I am supposed to eat with him and…”, you start before understanding the conversation, “I can’t believe he did that.” you sigh, making Bradley frown. “He’s set it up to be sure we’d see each other. Look, I’ve already ordered and I’m sure you don’t have a lot of time left before you have to get back to work so we can eat together.”

“You don't mind ?”

“It’s just for a meal.” you say as he sits down. “I see you’re still punctual.” you comment, sarcastically, Bradley looks at you confused. “I was supposed to meet my dad at noon. You’re thirty minutes late.” you inform, checking your notifications on your phone.

“He told me he reserved for half past twelve.”

“He really thought about everything.”

The waiter gives you your meal then, he takes Bradley’s order before going back to the kitchen.

You start eating silently. Bradley doesn’t stop moving on his seat, not knowing how to act around you. You don’t like the palpable tension either, you’re in the same situation as him. Before, your conversations didn’t have an end, a subject would always appear naturally. Now, you think twice before speaking, not wanting to create an awkward moment.

You stay in this heavy silence until the waiter gives Bradley his plate. Bradley sighs in relief, finally having something to do instead of being uncomfortable. When you’re done eating, you take a sip of your glass of water before talking.

“My father told me what you did for him on your last mission. Thank you for coming back for him.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I could have never left Mav’ behind.” Bradley genuinely states.

You smile at him quickly and Bradley takes this start of conversation as a small victory. He’s grateful for Pete’s help, even if he didn’t listen to him. Bradley tells himself that this moment is his only chance to fix his wrongs with you so he finishes eating the piece of meat he has in his mouth and clears his throat to catch your attention.

“Y/N, can I talk to you ? You don’t have to say anything. I’d be happy if you only listened to me.”

“Go ahead.”

Bradley take a deep breath before looking deeply in your eyes and starting to speak : 

“Look, I know I messed up with you. I’ll forever feel bad for the way we broke up. I should have come at your birthday and-”

“Are you seriously talking about that ?” you question, in disbelief. “Bradley, it’s not the thing-”

“I know I did worse.” he interrupts you, knowing what you were going to say. “I know your birthday isn’t what hurt you the most, the fact is, it was your breaking point. Had I come, we might have found a solution, maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation. I’m sorry for that night, I know I hurt you by not coming. I also know I broke your heart by ignoring you and your dad after we broke up or with what I said. I know it’s not an excuse but I was in this awful period of my life and I had to exteriorize what I was feeling and when Pete pulled my paper, it was on him then on you. I never should have lashed out on you because our relationship got damaged and that affacted our friendship, too, and for this, I’d forever be mad at myself. I should have prioritised you. I hate knowing I made you cry. I never would have thought I’d be the cause of your pain. I’m sincerely sorry for everything, above all I’m sorry for breaking my promise. If I could, I’d go back in time, I’d do everything to not lose you, to not break my promise. And maybe I’m pushing my luck right now but you’ve listened to me this far so I might as well say it ;  if you agreed to give me another chance, I’d love to be a part of your life again. You still mean a lot to me.”

Bradley finally breathes once he’s done talking. He’s sick in his stomach, fearing your reaction. Before, he could predict what you were gonna say or do with just one look. He doesn’t like the way you’ve become strangers. You need a few seconds to take in what he told you before replying.

“Thank you for everything you said. I appreciate your apologies but I need time.” you confess before looking at the time on your phone. “I have to go. I’m gonna pay.”

“I can totally-”

“I insist. Take this as a thank you for my father. Goodbye Bradley.”

Contrary to ten years ago, your goodbye is full of nostalgia and not of bitterness. Bradley stays static for a few moments, eyes on the restaurant’s door you’ve just walked through. Sure, nothing is done yet. You didn’t say you wanted him in your life again however you listened to him and that’s all that matters. He can only hope this victory is big enough to bring you back to him.

The next few days and nights, you’re lost in your thoughts which have Bradley as a main character. You think back to his words and specifically of the way you two used to be before everything bad happened. You were fine, close and in love. The months after your breakup, you wanted to have this once more, before your hurt turned into anger. If Bradley had tried apologising at that moment and not a year later, you would have forgiven him in a heartbeat. 

Now, you’re hesitating. You’re scared there’s going to be another conflict and Bradley decides to cut you out of his life once more. You wouldn’t handle it if it were to happen. Though, you wish to have Bradley in your life one more time. 

While you’re thinking, you see Bradley occasionally as he comes to your place. You don’t talk but you observe him and a part of you wants to have him close. Pete keeps speaking up for Bradley, more or less discreetly. All of this is making you change your mind and breaking the walls you had built around your heart.

After another night of staying awake, you tell yourself it’s time to speak with Bradley. You can’t stay like this anymore. Therefore, when the sun is up, you muster up your courage and call Bradley. You tell him to meet you at your place at a certain hour at the end of the afternoon, knowing Pete will be with Penny so you’ll be alone.

Your anxiety at its highest, you’re sitting on your couch and playing with a loose strand of a pillow. Despite the TV on, your eyes go from the door then to the time on your phone. There’s a knot in your stomach as you have a feeling of déjà vu.

You feel like you’re twenty-three once again, in your old house with your party dress and your red lipstick, waiting desperately for Bradley, only this time, he arrives on time, like he promised. Indeed, five minutes later, you hear a car parking in your driveway before someone knocks on your door. With one movement, you stand up after turning off the TV then, you open the door, finding Bradley, putting his Hawaiian shirt back in place. You let him in and you go to your living room.

When you’re sitting next to each other, your stress grows stronger. Was this a good idea ? What if now it was too late for him ? What if he got tired of waiting for so long ? As for Bradley, his mind is not at ease either : ‘maybe she just wants to tell me face to face she doesn’t want to see me anymore ? Or maybe in addition to her life, she doesn’t want me in Mav’s life either ?’. Finally, you’re the one cutting the tension.

“I’ve been thinking,” you begin, avoiding his gaze, “about what you told me and about us.” you state, setting your eyes on him. “Although I appreciate your apology, a part of me can’t help but think back to all the times where you apologised just to hurt me every chance you got.” you keep saying and Bradley’s heart tightens in his chest. “Though, I want to believe this time will be different. After all, if it worked out between you and my dad, why not us ? I want to forgive you, have you in my life again, however it’s the last time I forgive you, I won’t have the strength to do this one more time. I don’t know if we’ll ever have what we used to have and maybe our friendship will never be as strong as it used to be but I miss you so much. I miss my best friend.” you confess, tears in your eyes.

“I miss you so much, too, Y/N.”

“If it’s not too late for you, I still want you in my life as well.” you whisper, avoiding his gaze.

“You’ve always been the one I want, it’s never been too late for me.” Bradley affirms with a determined voice, putting his hand on your cheek. “I promise you it’s the last time, I won’t hurt you anymore and you will not lose me either and I will really keep these promises.”

Without thinking, you throw yourself in Bradley’s arms and hold against you the person you missed the most the past ten years.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Part one

[alicentsgf]

Let's talk in depth about book Alicent. because even though i read the book 3 years ago I didn't engage online about it until the show's release and um. wow. some people have a very different interpretation of her to me. and also... some of those interpretations show a fundamental misunderstanding of the text, a tendency toward indulging the misogyny present in Fire and Blood, or both.

People are saying the writers changed Alicent's story to 'make her a victim'... they didn't. It was always possible to read the book and perceive that she was in many ways a victim. Honestly the biggest thing they changed was her age, probably to assist the interpretation they'd chosen, but the larger elements all stay the same; in both versions she's worked in service of the crown since she was young (as a type of companion either to Jaehaerys or Rhaenyra) and she and Rhaenyra initially have a good relationship (according to one source in F&B - this supposedly changes when Aegon was born and not named heir). So making it Rhaenyra we see her close with just makes the emotional tethers that might have been there anyway more visible. After all, Rhaenyra Does spare Alicent's life in F&B, and whilst she says it's for Viserys sake, Alicent at that point had been at the very least complicit in the deaths of most of Rhaenyra's children. Rhaenyra having such a strong former bond with Alicent is going to give this event in the show a lot more weight. It's not hard to see why they made this change, because it adds to the existing tragedy of the story.

The fact is everything we see of Alicent in F&B is up for debate to some extent. Like, for example, did she seduce Viserys? of course certain sources tell us yes, but Fire and Blood is brimming with asoiaf-typical misogyny; it all reminds me somewhat of the story of Anne Boleyn, her story molded into something unrecognisable by history in order to make her the instigator. In truth, we have no way of knowing if Alicent wanted Viserys or not, but we do know she probably didn't have to seduce him. She was widely regarded as being the most beautiful woman - it wouldn't have taken a lot for Viserys to notice her. People, characters and readers alike, assume that because she wasn't the best political match he must have been persuaded, but Viserys was a selfish man, (that is indisputable, we see it in many of his provable actions), so it fits with his character to choose a slightly unsuitable wife on the basis of his own lust. The age gap in the show only serves to demonstrate visually the power imbalance that was at least somewhat present in the book anyway. And yes, this like most things in the book is up for interpretation, but I will say this: I seriously do not respect people calling her 'evil'.

The text never presents Alicent as evil. Even in the worst of her actions she is never legitimately shown to revel in the pain and suffering of others. At most you could argue she was ambitious, but I don't even believe that on the basis of one specific thing: it was her, not Otto, who asked Viserys to betroth Aegon to Rhaenyra. This was not a crazy suggestion in the book, as it was presented in the show; they were only a decade apart, and it was the Valyrian custom that the eldest son would marry his eldest sister, as Aegon the conqueror married Visenya. Alicent wanted this without stipulating the expectation that Aegon would rule instead of Rhaenyra. Viserys reportedly dismissed Alicent on the basis of believing she only wanted Aegon a step closer to the throne, and it can be read that way, but personally I don't think so. I think she was exhausting options to try to protect him after she realised Viserys was never going to name him heir.

Ultimately, Alicent would have been stupid to ignore that her children's lives were at stake. Especially in Fire and Blood where she was much less familiar with Rhaenyra. Nothing in Rhaenyra's actions suggested she wouldn't be capable. She reportedly had no affection for her brothers where she was kid enough to Helaena, suggesting she already saw them as threats. She had demonstrated herself willing to accept physical harm to them in favour of her own sons. She was later thought to be at least complicit in the death of her husband Laenor, who had by all accounts been a good, kind husband to her… and then she married Daemon. Even before this he had been an obvious threat to Alicent's children; a violent man who'd always lusted after power, with a known hatred for Hightowers and who'd never been kind to his nephews by Alicent. Even if Alicent didn't believe Rhaenyra capable of murdering her sons, she would have been stupid not to believe Daemon able.

The truth is even in the book this crisis was set in motion by Viserys. Once he'd refused to marry Aegon to Rhaenyra the bomb was built and ticking away, it was only a matter of time. Even if Rhaenyra's heirs had been indisputably trueborn, Aegon and his brothers and any descendants they had would have been symbols for those who wanted to oppose the Crown to rally behind as soon as Rhaenyra or Jacaerys disappointed them, no matter if Alicent's sons had personally bent the knee. The situation only became more dire when it was clear that Rhaenyra's heir was not trueborn.

Fire and Blood isn't even really quiet about Rhaenyra's first three sons being bastards. To me it read like Rhaenys' Baratheon blood allowed those who wanted to believe otherwise to delude themselves, as Viserys does in both versions. After all, in the book Laenor being gay is an open secret. But the thing is… it doesn't even really matter if they were or not. With so many people believing they were bastards, they were pretty much as good as. Eventually, and most definitely after Rhaenyra's death, there would have been some form of conflict. Because if Jace, an assumed bastard, ascended the throne it would throw into question the claims of almost every lord in Westeros, many of whom would have older bastard brothers. and if a bastard who didn't even look targaryen could sit the highest seat in the realm over a trueborn silver-haired son of a king like Aegon, what's to stop the bastard brothers of any lord from laying claim to their seat? Aegon would have become a rallying point for that dispute whether he liked it or not, and Jace would have been forced to dispose of him if he wanted to maintain power.

In light of this, it's really no wonder Alicent repeatedly voices her animosity over Rhaenyra's sons questionable births. It's very telling that in F&B every cruel comment she reportedly makes about or to Rhaenyra references it. and I say "reportedly" because one of the worst of her quotes, her saying 'mayhaps the whore will die in childbirth' about Rhaenyra, people quote as fact… if you do this I will laugh in your face and ask if you read the book. because Alicent did not say that. or rather, if she did, Fire and Blood would not be able to tell us either way because the quote is attributed to her by Mushroom, one of Rhaenyra's supporters who (apart from being a famed liar) was with Rhaenyra on Dragonstone at the time.

The other two quotes used to argue her supposed evilness are from slightly less questionable sources, and honestly, yeah, it does seem likely to me Alicent implied to Rhaenyra her bastard sons' blood was worth less than that of her own trueborn sons'… but at that point, with the horror she'd experienced on account of Viserys upholding Rhaenyra and her sons' questionable claims, her reacting in this way is perhaps cruel and prejudiced, but not evil. And almost justifiably cruel in my opinon; for all she knows the woman she's talking to directly ordered for her six-year-old grandson to be brutally murdered in front of her, her daughter, and her other grandchildren, directly leading to her daughter's madness and later suicide. Was she going to be respectful? Is it fair to expect that from her? This focus on the term 'bastard blood' overshadows the rest of the quote: “Bastard blood shed at war. My son’s sons were innocent boys, cruelly murdered. How many more must die to slake your thirst for vengeance?” Why is Alicent being a bit of a bitch treated as a worse sin than Rhaenyra ordering the brutal murder of a toddler, or at the very least excusing it.

The last quote mentioned to back up claims of alicent's 'evilness' is her telling her granddaughter Jaehaera she should slit the throat of her husband Aegon III in his sleep. By this point it seemed to me Alicent was no doubt consumed by bitterness and would have attacked Aegon herself given the chance, but even without condoning her words or actions we can see how she became like that; all of Alicent's sons are dead and she wants all of Rhaenyra's gone too. Wasn't it "an eye for an eye, a son for a son"? - Rhaenyra's side set the precedent - the idea that it is justifiable to take one innocent life in exchange for another, no matter if its the life of a child who just happens to have been born on the other side of a war.

Alicent by the end of her life had certainly been driven to cruelty in her grief, twisted into something ugly by the world and locked away to rot.

And yet her final words weren't steeped in bitterness or violence. When the fever sets in she accepts death, even welcomes it. She speaks of seeing her children again, and King Jaehaerys. So doesn't that say she was never driven by hatred at all? That there was never any kind of innate evil nature? At least that's my interpretation. This is the same girl who spent her youth reading to a dying king for no clear reward, and felt such affection for him that she mentioned him at the end of her own life, perhaps pining for the time before her marriage. (No doubt in the show she will mention Rhaenyra instead). This is the woman whose daughter and grandchildren visited her with such reliable frequency her grandson's killers knew to wait in her rooms for them.

So what was so evil about her? That she quite understandably saw Rhaenyra and her sons as a threat, and preemptively acted to protect her own? As much as people like to project ideologies onto these characters, neither Alicent nor Rhaenyra's motivations were ideological, that much as clear.

I may have many reservations about House of the Dragon's execution of it, but the decision to present Alicent as a victim of the world she inhabits was not only the right choice, but also kind of the only choice. HotD is presented as objective truth, where F&B is a collection of biased accounts dripping in the misogyny of the men relating them, and so HotD had to be a critique of its own source material. I admit to having my own bias, and my analysis is at least slightly skewed in Alicent's favour because I'm responding to the most negative interpretations of her. And they are all just interpretations. But in my opinion, those adapting the text looked at Alicent and asked "what if this woman is misunderstood?", "what if this woman had no real choice?", "what if the men of this world just chose to ignore her complexity, because she was a woman?" and those were absoutely the questions to ask.

[iliveinarainbow]

may i just say how annoying it is whenever some people try to demonize either simon or wilhelm for messing up?

they are teenagers. 16 year olds. literal children as far as i am concerned.

they are bound to mess up and hurt each other in the process, and whilst we as the audience obviously feel for the one who gets hurt (let’s be honest they’re usually both hurting when something goes wrong), i also think it’s important for us to remember how shitty their situation is.

and let’s also not forget how whilst to us it’s been 3 years, for them it’s been months. all this trauma and hurt and pain in just a few months. i think it’s very normal that they haven’t fully processed everything yet and how this is backfiring on their mental health and therefore on their relationship.

they’re two kids who fell in love, which can already be complicated enough as it is, but then you add the fact that wilhelm is a prince and has obligations and limitations that have been installed in his brain for his whole life.

simon has every right to be upset with all the rules of the royal world, but i think it’s also important to acknowledge how those rules are not wille’s fault. he is a representative of the royal family but he doesn’t get the final say in anything, the only time he did what he wanted was when he used his speech to tell the world that it was him in the video, and he was only allowed to do that bc nobody but him knew what his intentions were.

i think that throughout the seasons the show has done a really good job at constantly reminding us that whilst sometimes one of them might be “more wrong” than the other one, they are both victims, both just teenage boys in a horrible situation who happened to fall in love and are sadly having to deal with constant backlash bc of who they are and how they feel.

long winded way of saying that they are both my children so KEEP THEIR NAMES OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH… please and thank you x

(they’ve both hurt each other and done things i didn’t love, not denying that, i just think some ppl only see one side and ignore/villainize the other and to me that’s not fair, not since we see everything from both their prospectives and get to know how hard and complicated everything has been for both of them)

[fubuwu]

.... I mean.... Both can exist.... Which it did in this scenario. It's not impossible to be both powerless to act politically whilst also not having all the information that should have been made available to you... In fact, I'd argue that it was the latter that made things worse for him.

Wwx pushing jc away and keeping him out of the loop is part of the reason why he was powerless.... He kept him in the dark. He was going down a self destructive path. From Jcs pov, wwx was becoming a loose cannon. If he sided with someone perceived as dangerous and crazy, how would that look? What would that mean for the safety of his sect and remaining family?

Furthermore, jc was unaware of his lack of core and thought he was just parading around without a sword as a display of arrogance. Everything he was doing was reflecting badly on him and his sect. Not to mention, the jins were stirring the pot, implying that wwx lacked any respect for jc which on the surface would appear to be true.. And yet jc still had the patience to want to protect wwx and visit him regularly even after his defection.. (it's funny how you all seem to ignore that aspect of his character.. >.>)

Had he told him everything and properly communicated, they could have both come up with some sort of compromise together. Literally, the whole issue with their relationship was lack of communication. All of this could have been avoided if they had just talked and been honest with eachother. Come up with a better solution to prove to the cw that the Wens were not a threat. Jc himself acknowledges that a lot of the Wens that had been rescued were elderly and children.

(Personally, I believe the Wens would have been screwed eitherway and more lives would have been lost if jc helped wwx (lp massacre part two..). After all, the jins had their own agenda and protecting the wens went against that. It really was a difficult situation they were in and neither were in the wrong. But I do believe jc would have been more receptive to help in some way if wwx had helped to dispell those rumours and made it more clear to jc that he was in no way disrespecting him.. Bare in mind, jc DID try to to defend wwx in anyway he could numerous times before his defection, despite it being literally politcal suicide. The situation was a difficult one. It's hard to just narrow it down to being one or the other.

Furthermore.. I'd argue that him helping to stage wwx's defection whilst visiting him regularly, keeping him updated on the cw and seeing his sister was his own way of helping wwx? Allowing him to do what he must (with the people that massacred his sect, might I add..)? Maybe he could have done a lot more had he been more informed too? Idk. But that's just my opinion.)

So yes. Both realities can exist.

[julietpricee]

Day 17 - Sharpuary (Hair)

Unfortunately, this is the last prompt I have written! If I have time I will definitely revisit this and try to add some more, but I received the keys to my first house last week so all of my free time has been taken up with that. I've had so much fun doing Sharpuary! Thank you @ynyseira❤️❤️

TW - Mild smut? Like one sentence... (MC aged up to 19)

Aesop Sharp was brewing a large batch of potions for the next day's classes, whilst singing loudly to himself. His long brown hair was tied back off his face and he was dressed much more casually than usual, having long discarded his jacket and waistcoat, leaving him in just his white shirt. His long sleeves were rolled up, exposing his muscular arms that were covered in tattoos. 

“Professor Sharp?”

Aesop seized up, clearing his throat in embarrassment from being caught singing. He looked up from the cauldron in front of him to see you standing in his doorway. He quickly rolled his sleeves down to cover his tattoos.

“Yes, Miss (L/N)?” He replied, trying to ignore his embarrassment. 

“You said to come by for my extra lessons” you continued. “Did you forget?”

Sharp stroked a few stray hairs out of his face. “Yes, I may have-”

“Sir the cauldron!” You shouted, interrupting him. Sharp quickly turned his attention to the bubbling cauldron that was boiling over. He immediately amended the temperature and gave it a quick stir before leaning back against the workstation to look at you. 

“Close one,” he smirked. “Why don’t you give me a hand for a change?”

A wide smile forms on your face as you remove your bag and coat to hang up near the entrance, before you promptly join him behind the workstation. 

“I’m brewing some simple Wiggenweld potions to show the first years,” he began.”I trust you remember how to brew them.”

“Of course, Professor!” You begin describing every step of the brewing process back to him. 

“Perfect,” he replied with an impressed look of pride that you’d only ever seen from him a handful of times. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t fill your body with warmth. “Grab a cauldron and you can do my second batch for the hospital wing.”

“Please and thank you,” you remind him playfully as you grab a cauldron off the side. The potions professor shot you a stern look but you simply smiled back at him, knowing his intimidating glares stopped affecting you long ago. 

You prepare the ingredients in front of you and start meticulously adding them to the caldron, one by one, as the professor works beside you.

“Forgetting something?” Professor Sharp asks whilst you’re deep into the initial steps.

“I’ve only just started,” You replied, blowing your hair out your face whilst your hands remained full. 

“I’m on about your hair,” he corrected you. “Get it tied up, you might be making a first-year potion but you certainly aren’t a first-year anymore.”

You glared at him with full hands, trying to balance the first few steps of the potion brew. “I don’t have a hair tie… or a free hand for that matter.”

He removes his cauldron from the heat after finishing his brew as you continue stirring your cauldron slowly whilst adding the final ingredients with your other hand. In the corner of your eye you notice him removing his hair tie, shaking his hair loose as if he was straight out of a shampoo commercial. 

He approaches you from behind and gently runs his fingers through your hair, pulling it back into a low ponytail. Your legs instantly turn to jelly as your crush on the man grows deeper as his fingertips glide against your neck.

“...Sir,” you stuttered as your thoughts turned dark, imagining him grabbing your hair in a tight fist as he pulled your head up and down along his hard shaft.

He twists the hair tie around your hair, pulling it tight against your scalp and lingers behind you for a moment too long. You feel his breath against your neck as his hands hover over your shoulders.

The cauldron begins fizzing in front of you after your concentration completely falters. Professor Sharp instinctively places his hand on your left hip to lean over your right shoulder and amend the brew. You were completely engulfed in his musky scent, surrounded by his warmth as his chest pressed into your back and side. 

“That was close,” he chuckled, leaving his hand to linger on your hip. 

You looked up at his face which was remarkably close to yours and found yourself lost in his deep brown eyes which stared back at you. His small rosy lips were distorted into a rare smile, showing the smallest bit of his crooked teeth. You couldn’t pull your eyes away from his lips and knew you were dangerously close to the point of no return. 

“Do we need to revisit this brew Miss (L/N)?” He jested softly, appearing almost nervous.

Your eyes were still glued to his lips, his hand was still on your hip. It had to mean something. 

Without much thought, you raised your hand making him flinch slightly, but as you placed it on his cheek to cup his face, he let out a tense breath allowing himself to relax. Your thumb stroked his rough stubble, tracing the end of his twisted scar, as he closed his eyes and leant into your hand. 

You took a careful step towards him, leaning on your tiptoes to bring your face into his. With his eyes still closed, you leant in, placing the softest kiss on his unsuspecting lips. 

You were instantly met with fire, but unfortunately not the one you fantasised about. 

Professor Sharp took a quick step back creating an unfriendly distance between you. His eyes were fueled with an anger you had never witnessed before. 

“Out!” He bellowed. 

You couldn’t move, you stood frozen to the spot,  mouth agape, trembling in fear as tears pooled in your eyes. 

“Now!” He continued, shouting louder than he ever had before.

You scrambled to gather your belongings, almost falling out of the door in fear. You thought his touch had meant something, but he is your Professor. How could you have ever suspected this would go differently? 

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53448181/chapters/136211893

[thegamingcatmom]

A continuing thought to add to the previous ask of burgers and Soft!Kate that is essentially:

The adventures of Kate and MC: the quest for a burger

And that thought is Tanya would learn of this outing cause she sees Kate throwing up human food and is generally? Not having a time, but it was worth it. Why? Cause:

MC and Kate in a car (cause drive thru? Idk)

MC nomming on some fries from the bag

Kate seeing this(whilst driving): feed me a fry

MC does so cause clearly hands on the wheel.

Idk they eventually park to eat

MC seeing Kate not eating:didn't you say earlier that you were starving?

Kate:....yes (and proceeds to eat her burger, too)

MC? unaware, just happy to finally have her burger.

(Feel like kate would pull a: "you want to try a bite of mine?" As she asks for a bite of MC's as trade, idk)

So yeah, MC feeding her and sharing Food

Tanya would be so upset

-📚

The sisters demanding MC feed them all seductively (the things they put up with just to hopefully get some one day is as sad as it is admirable 😭) while MC is just there like "uh, yeah sure" because she doesn´t even realize it´s meant to be all sexy and seductive because well, she´d be starving too if she didn´t eat all day. Like, honestly-

What´s up with that?

She´s never actually seen them eat smt, aside from the times they, for some strange reason, demand to be fed by her. And, even then, they only ever eat smol pieces, making the funniest faces while they do so, only to disappear shortly after - to where? Fck does she know. She´s not sure she even wants to know.

Sometimes, ignorance is bliss...

Still, she does find it strange that, after what feels like an eternity (still not enough, tbh), they come back, looking rather...worse for wear, it has to be said. She didn´t think it was possible for them to become even paler, but here we are.

What´s up with that?

However, I gotta say I think that's more Kate's thing. Putting herself in situations where MC has no other choice but to "tend" to her because she's got her hands full with other things. (Unfortunately, not the things she wishes her hands were filled with...life´s cruel).

Like, it doesn't have to be food, although I love the idea of Kate demanding to be fed a fry all sexily (in her mind). Kate continuously choosing to suffer in hopes it's gonna get her some form of PDA (in her mind) is just too accurate, lmao.

Tanya's...different.

As in: Woman is a coven leader.

Do I need to say more?

...

Listen-

Tanya doesn't beat around the bush - she doesn't need to. She's a leader. She has rights. When she's got her eyes on smt (more like someone), she won't hesitate to pursue it. She might not always outright state her intentions, but that's mainly because she doesn't believe there's a need for it. Hasn't she made herself clear enough? Hasn't she clearly shown her interest? (Not her fault if you're too charmingly dense to get it.)

Why would she need to resort to such...absurd methods to court you? She's a lead-

*witnesses MC feeding Kate a fry all seductively*

...

Also Tanya:

...Huh?

That's a perfectly normal way to eat, wdym-

.

.

.

Kate putting herself through torture just to get some tender loving is so precious though.

...Slightly manic and certainly self-destructive, but precious nonetheless. 😭

Thanks a lot for your ask! 💋

[whxre4hange]

attack on titan but dodgeball hc’s

eren is most definitely trying his best to DEMOLISH the other team

nothing will stand in his way. anything that does will be crushed.

probably hits a bunch of his teammates accidentally during his rampage

mikasa is mvp

well she would be if she wasn’t constantly lurking around ereh

NO ONE WILL TOUCH EREH

has dove and skidded on the ground at least 20 times to catch the ball and/or protect ereh

armin cowered on the ground behind his teammates for the first 20 minutes and was the last one standing cause everyone else got picked off before him

tries to psych the other team out- “cmon, let’s talk it out- we can talk this out! violence isn’t the answer!” [boos] “you wouldn’t wanna hit me, would you? i’m so weak and defenceless and you would NEVE-‘ [gets hit by 5 different balls]

sasha ate 10 baked potatoes before the game and she gets stitches 30 seconds into the game

she is on the floor crawling around the whole time

‘pls im an injured woman dont throw anything at me :(‘

she also snuck a bunch of snacks into her pockets so she’s snacking at the back until someone gets her out

and she’s still snacking on the sidelines #girboss

connie does not understand what is going on, he thinks it’s catch, so he keeps throwing it at his teammates

and he’s like :’o when everyone yells at him

“ur just mad because u cant catch properly” connie no ur just dumb sweetie

jean wants to be the leader and is the control freak of the team, but no one cares about anything he says

and because eren is not petty at all, he ignores everything jean says and instead gets everyone to do the opposite

marco is the wholesome one. shakes everyone’s hand. smiles and wishes everyone good luck (including the opposing team). is the first one out because he got distracted whilst smiling and waving to his mom, who was in the crowd. yells encouragement from the sidelines. (he’s so precious PLS)

reiner is following historia around constantly trying to be a human shield

spoiler; it doesn’t work

ymir keeps intercepting anything that dares come near historia and “accidentally” whacks reiner every time he gets too close

annie is the true mvp. she’s an absolute machine. but she kicks the balls instead of throwing it. beat up the referee when he tried to tell her it was against the rules

given his size, bertholdt is seemingly an easy target

or is he? bertolto is actually a very speedy player

although he struggled to get how the game worked at first, bertoloto quickly grasped the rules and became the runner up mvp

bertrololololololol has kind of made it his mission to be annie’s back up- always catching/intercepting anything that might hit annie and attacking would-be annie attacks

very good at running, ducking - you name it, birthcontrol can do it!

erwin, surprisingly, is really really really bad at dodgeball

gives a really huge inspirational speech to his team but doesn’t understand the point of it

why throw balls when he has the biggest balls out of everyone? [this was a joke about what a great brave commander he was, not a sex joke. pls don’t cancel me]

anyways all jokes aside, he just stands there like 🧍🏼 what is going on

gets hit very quickly and sits on the sidelines researching the origins of dodgeball

hange managed to invent this robotic arm that throws dodgeballs at an insane pace

but it malfunctions and targets her & her team instead

oh and she built it legs that have suddenly started working and it’s chasing her around now

moblit is frantically running after hange with the remote screaming because he can’t find the off button

(spoiler: there is no off button. hange forgot. in her defence, she made it at 3am on a grand total of -50 hours of sleep)

levi is above this nonsense and is silently judging you all

lmao you thought. he’s lurking in the back throwing stuff at hange #pettygirlboss

some r from aot junior high but I tried to expand on them and add more stuff :) hope u enjoyed

[lunar-years]

royKeeleys really were done incredibly dirty so I do feel bad. but a lot of stuff I see people say about them or how the show shorted them just does not make sense to me lol.

(I also felt like him kneeling was never a sign that the show was taking his knee problems seriously and that it was a Big Deal he was kneeling. They bring it up and then immediately forget about it over and over. One day he can’t run or walk up stairs, the next he’s running miles upon miles with Jamie)

YEAH!! I think I might be in the minority in that while I did/do love roykeeley in season 2 and in general, I was actually kind of hoping for a breakup when I went into s3 and I wasn't at all sad when it happened 🫢 To me, this was something that actually was foreshadowed at the end of s2, so much so that it almost felt... inevitable? There were so many cracks there and the breakup kind of felt necessary. The problem was that they never went anywhere good with it.

So while I definitely agree that their arc was done dirty, I disagree with a lot of the reasons people like to list for HOW they were done dirty (e.g., the writers were wrong simply for breaking them up, it was mean to tease them sleeping together only to not have them immediately back together the next episode, Roy was supposed to propose/keeley was supposed to be pregnant 🤢, Keeley's arc was bad for the exclusive reason that it didn't revolve around Roy, etc.)

The biggest problems with s3 roykeeley were actually (imo):

breaking them up should have been the conduit for individual growth and addressing the personal issues that led to the break up for BOTH of them, but then they only tried to go that route with Roy whilst actually making Keeley REGRESS and never directly acknowledging, let alone resolving, any of her problems

roy's apology was non-specific if not downright Bad i'm sorry; he never tells Keeley why he broke up with her in any meaningful way

they never got the really good conversation i wanted to them to have (and feel their storyline desperately needed & deserved) about where they went wrong/how they're trying to fix it

too much happened offscreen. I think the offscreen breakup would've been fine if they'd then followed it up with the above bullet points, but you can't have an offscreen breakup that's then never discussed and is followed by an offscreen hookup followed by one conversation that gets interrupted before it even really begins. like what WAS that??

The breakup alone wasn't the problem! them not getting back together also wasn't the problem! it's just that none of it was done purposefully enough and Keeley's individual arc sucked bad

//

That's such an interesting perspective on Roy's knee stuff!! I don't think I really share that complaint, because I think it's easy enough to assume that some days his knee is really a Problem and other days it's mostly fine. He's never going to be able to keep up a professional athlete's level of activity again, but I really like that they show him running with Jamie. I think it highlights that their training is something that's good for both of them, because Roy is definitely the sort to forgo his physical therapy and not take care of himself. But I assume that keeping active actually helps him on the days when it's a struggle to say, go up the stairs. And they do show that he can't quite keep up with Jamie and gets exhausted much quicker.

So i dunno, I don't think the show is ignoring his problems, so much setting a balance between "Roy suffers chronic knee problems due to repeated injuries" and "he also is learning to take better care of himself and let other people help him so that the injury no longer has to dictate his life."

(okay editing to add: in rereading your first sentence on it I actually think i do agree with you, lmao. I just wasn't fully understanding at first. Yeah the writers FOR SURE weren't consciously thinking Roy Kneeling = a Sign That He Cares Extra About Keeley because it Hurts His Knee but he's willing to Endure The Pain just for her. which is how some people spin it, lmao. "Roy only kneels for Keeley wow he's so brave and in love!!" Like, no? ...sometimes the man just kneels?)

[hijinxensues]

The Cloaking Brooch Dilemma - Part 2

RotTMNT Donatello x OC!AFAB

Synopsis: Donatello considered himself, nay, deemed himself the greatest mind of his generation. He was known for his skills as a scientist, inventor, engineer and was a technological genius. Dare he throw in that he was a damn good brother and held the title of being 1/4th ‘Protector of New York City’.

He could barely fathom that he didn’t piece together that the pretty barista he was falling for was simultaneously his gaming buddy (might I add, for the last eight years) and was working for Big Mama.

At this very moment, Donatello was sure of two things in his life. One of them being his life was a joke and the second being that he was fraternizing with the enemy.

All because he decided to run errands whilst donning his cloaking brooch.

Warnings: Aged-Up turtles, fluff, Half-Yokai OC, AFAB OC (does use she/her/they pronouns in writing), swearing, light angst 

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Ch 2 - Royal Purple 

Donatello seldom wore his cloaking brooch topside (or at all, really), especially after the Krang invasion where the New York citizens found out they were sharing the streets with Yokai and mutant-kind. Confidence was his and his brothers friend in terms of navigating the streets, humans barely batted an eye at them pre-invasion and it was the same post-invasion. He didn’t question how his “skin condition” and snout weren’t enough for people to ask questions, but he was thankful for the lack of attention. However, there were times where he did not feel like receiving and ignoring bigoted stares from the random New Yorker off the side of the road and in these moments, he dons a cloaking broach to run errands.

Donatello clipped his cloaking broach to his tank top and slipped a zip-up over his shoulders then zipped, fumbling with the zipper since he had five fingers instead of being tridactyl. He pulled a purple puffer jacket over the zip-up, tied the strings of his black sweatpants together to look presentable (Galileo-forbid, he look so disheveled to leave the string of his sweatpants untied), pulled his boots on and glanced in the mirror.

The first time Donatello looked in the mirror with the brooch on, he was baffled. He shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was considering he was made of Lou Jitsu DNA. He frankly looked a bit like Lou Jitsu, being Asian with fair skin and fluffy jet-black hair, not coiffed like his father had his fair in his prime. He still maintained his body structure regardless if he was his terrapin self or his “human” self, he had always been lithe and toned, not that you could tell underneath his winter clothes. He welcomed the sensation of hair on his head and ultimately opted to leave without a tuque. He pulled his hood up once he made it top-side to the cold breeze.

Donnie knew the streets of New York like the back of his hand. He was, of course, one of the Protectors of New York City. He found it amusing that people had snapped the blurriest photos of him and his brothers jumping on rooftops in their teens when they weren’t as stealthy and posting them on the ‘NYC heroes?’ subreddit on Reddit- people from all over trying to debunk or prove his existence, even with Yokai’s being known to the public.

Donnie was on the hunt for a new GPU for his computer, he liked to buy the commercially sold pieces and use them as controls when he ultimately decided he could build one better. Rounding the corner, he finds himself in front of the computer store he frequents. Pushing past the door, he does a nod to the clerk at the front desk which is returned in kind before heading over the peruse the selection of GPU’s. He makes quick work of his decision, pulls one of the peg and heads to the counter. Perhaps he should head over to get a latte to warm up before heading back down to the lair? Donnie did not thrive in the cold being part terrapin and did not want a repeat of when he went into brumation last winter, he was playfully teased relentlessly once he came out of it and was called ‘Sleepy-Tello’ for a good portion of the Holiday season.

Exiting with his bag, he headed down to his favorite coffee shop. They had mediocre service, but a fabulous lavender latte which paired wonderfully with their signature cinnamon buns. The coffee shop had very odd hours and closed much later in the evening which worked perfectly for his irregular sleep schedule. Donatello pretty much never ventured this way during the day and only opted coming here in the late evening when he needed a pick me up from tuning and building his tech. It was much busier in ‘Rendezvous’ mid day than in the late hours he normally visited.

“Hi, how’re you? What can I get started for you today?”

Donatello looked up from his phone to see a familiar face, Violet. Violet had been a barista at Rendezvous for years, often the one to prepare his lavender lattes and package his cinnamon buns (she was the only competent worker to use a plastic container for his bun instead of a paper bag as to not ruin the icing on the top) during the closing shift. He would admit he favored her over the other baristas based on her name alone, being a shade of purple. Donnie wasn’t the type to track a total strangers work schedule but statistically, but every time he stepped into the shop in the evening, Violet was there which meant she had almost always had the closing shift instead of a morning shift.

“Fine. One medium lavender latte please,” he looked over at the pastry display, “and a cinnamon bun.”

Violet hums thoughtfully as she punches in the order and he offers a quirked brow as he fishes out his wallet.

“Oh, I’m not usually on during a morning shift and I have a regular that stops by in the dead of night to make this exact order,” she holds out the payment machine and Donnie taps his card, “but, uh, you aren’t him!” she laughs nervously and tucks a strand of hair behind her ears. She turns so her back is to him but then rapidly turns back around, “Not that there’s anything wrong with his-your order! It’s just not a very common one.”

She’s nervous. Donatello might not be great at reading verbal cues or tone, but body language was much easier for him to pick up. Violet didn’t strike him as the nervous type when he’d seen her in the evenings, but granted he didn’t know much about her at all besides the brief exchange they have together where she practically has his latte and bun waiting on the counter for him minutes before his arrival in the evenings. The thing that puzzled him was why she would be nervous of him or even this basic interaction?

“Uh, that isn’t to say the latte and the bun aren’t good items on the menu, it’s just-“ she flounders and takes the machine back from him. “Anyways!”, she claps and turns around once again to fuss with the coffee machine, “give me one moment, I’ll have your order ready for you at the side.”

Donatello had already written off the interaction as he waits off to the side of his order and pulls out his phone. His thumb hovers over the Discord app before giving in and tapping it looking over at his friends muted username, Cavaletty. A clever play on words and her online name. ‘Cavaletti’ being the small hurdles, originally made of wood, originally used for basic horse training but was more familiarised in canine fitness and rehabilitation and ‘Letty’ being her name.

Bootyyyshaker9000: How are you faring at work? It is a beautifully freezing day in New York. Rain check on games tonight, my brothers want to have ‘family night’ tonight and those always run unnecessarily long.

Donatello closes the app as Violet sets his drink and bun down in a paper bag, “I usually pack these in a paper bag, but I didn’t want the icing-“

“To stick to the inside of the bag. It’s an obvious answer to pack a pastry such as the cinnamon bun in a box and not a bag to preserve its longevity and so the consumer has the maximum amount of enjoyment when eating.”

Ah. If the coffee shop was any colder, he’d be able to see the steam radiating off her face. If he was not mistaken, Violet thought he was attractive. Now, Donatello was not a humble person, his ego was actually quite large, reasonably so, he felt. He was one of four of the protectors of this city and on top of that, he was known for his skills as a scientist, inventor, engineer, and technological genius. One of the brightest minds of his generation, he would reckon. His IQ was in the 160-190 range, and he liked to tell people that for reference, Albert Einstein had an IQ of 160. Donatello was never the ‘face’ of the team, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t just as or equally as attractive as Leo. Donatello tries not to feel a certain disappointment he couldn’t place that he's never gotten this type of reaction out of Violet, however, he is a man of science and rational after all, Violet has never really seen him in his regular “mutant form” and thus could not give him a reaction like this since she didn’t know what he looked like.  

“Right! You get it,” she tries to look casual, “You stopped by the computer store next door? I actually picked up a ‘Radeon RX 6950 XT’ the other day to replace my garbage graphics card.” Donatello catches her checking how long of a line she had before continuing on quickly, “I mean, I know it’s not the best but GPUs are extremely expensive and hard to come by these days.” She smiles wipes down the counter in front of her.

“Excellent choice, the RX 6950 is half the price of the Nvidia GeForce RTX 4090, which is what I picked up. It’s hard to find something to compete with the best GPU that’s currently commercially sold. The RTX has exceptional gen-on-gen performance, the DLSS frame generation is magic and has super high clock speeds.” Donatello states as he grips the warm paper cup with his signature drink.

Violet opens her mouth to respond but is cut off by someone at the front of the line clearing their throats to get her attention back, “Sorry, I’ve got to go. Nice talking to you! I’ll… see you around?” she gives a sheepish smile and begins to turn her attention back to the line of people waiting for her. Donatello offers a head nod in response, “Sure thing,” he makes a precursor glance at her name tag as if he didn’t know her name already, “Violet,” her name rolls of his tongue easily, “Have a good day.”

Donatello takes a tentative sip of his latte as he exits, not wanting to burn his tongue on the hot liquid. ‘Perfect’, he thinks as the smooth liquid hits his throat, the lavender notes not overwhelmingly floral and as the perfect amount of sweetness to counteract the bitterness of the coffee. He hums thoughtfully and reflects on the interaction with his barista (as if she was really ‘his’ personal barista), aside from the phrases, “The usual?” and “Have a lovely night, get home safe!” he’s never really made small talk with Violet. It’s not like he needed to make small talk (with anyone), Donatello found small talk with anyone painful, unnecessary, and frankly a waste of his time. However, the interaction with her whilst wearing his cloaking broach was… interesting at best and piqued his curiosity. He would put more thought into creating small talk in the evenings with her later- a pros and cons list would do him well.

He made his way safely back to the lair through his secret entrance that led straight into his lab and pulled out his phone after feeling the telltale vibrate of a Discord notification (he had customized and set up a different vibrate pattern for Letty).

Cavaletty: omf tired as fuck, we cant stay up that late i swear ill never make it LOL i almost never do mornings either

Cavaletty: aweeee, family time is nice! your brothers always sound so lovely lol /gen

Donatello smiled to himself; he appreciated the tone indicators- something Letty never had a problem doing for him since he often times struggled with reading texts. He did like to think he knew Letty well enough to decipher the tone of her messages, but he appreciated how thoughtful she was of him, despite never meeting in person or even over cams (he refused every time she asked).

Cavaletty: all good 4 the rain check, i have gigi coming over anyways for pizza. hawaiian- your fav! HAHA let me know tho, my sched is still open at our regular time but all good if you gotta pass

Donatello grimaced and flopped into his seat as he typed back furiously.

Bootyyyshaker9000: You are a literal heathen, a ham and pineapple pizza is a culinary mistake. The flavors do not work, it is a stain on all of humanity. I reconsider our friendship every time you bring up your awful taste in pizza.

Cavaletty: someones cranky today LOL, gotta get to my shift, but will msg throughout the day. get back 2 me whenever. hope youre dressed warm if youre going out, its FREEZING. talk later otto!

He contemplates yet again, probably for the hundredth time, if he should reveal his name to Letty. Back when he was more wary of his online presence, he still used ‘Othello Von Ryan’ and he convinced himself there wasn’t ever an opportune moment to reintroduce himself as ‘Donnie’. It was like when you’ve known someone for too long and you don’t know their name but the window of opportunity to ask their name has completely closed, so you suffer and hope that it’ll come up where they offer their name to you to avoid having to ask them for it.

Bootyyyshaker9000: Of course, enjoy the rest of the day. Already been out and bundled up, I concur it is very chilly. Talk later, Letty.

Donatello was fond of the nickname Letty had given him, ‘Otto’, as they got comfortable over the years and he talked himself out of sharing his name. He had considered that ‘Letty’ wasn’t her real name either, but for whatever reason never did a thorough background check on her once they moved their chats to Discord, deeming her a safe enough entity in his life since all he did was tutor them at the time and play video games. He could confirm that she also lived in New York as they shared the same time zone and they talked about frequenting the same food spots, but he didn’t know where she worked or what she did for work. She never asked him and so he never asked her, their friendship being completely online, and he was content with that. Despite that, Donatello still considered her quite a close friend as a baseline as they filled each other in on other aspect of their lives, such as friends and family amongst other obscure and random topics that they both brought up over late night gaming.

Donatello pulls off his jacket and unclips his broach then tosses it on his table. He breathes a sigh of relief looking at his tridactyl hands then takes a seat in his ergonomic chair. Pulling his purchase out of the bag and setting his cinnamon bun on his table, he takes a sip of his latte, and his chest constricts at the thought of Violet tucking her hair behind her ear and sliding him his drink with a shy smile.

Donatello reminds himself as a man of logic and rational, in his adulthood, that it is, in fact, normal to reminisce about a pretty girl who thought (he hypothesized, based on her shy smile and flushed cheeks) a version of him was handsome, even if it wasn’t truly who he was.

---

TBC

Human!Donnie design by @/smallest_of_smol on TIKTOK! https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFcctffa/ << check it out !!

Also, I very slightly changed Violet/Letty’s appearance in terms of her legs, I gave her bunny feet when she’s not wearing the brooch. But that was it, everything else is the same (:

[another-lost-mc]

got slapped in the face with covid and now im and an angst(ish) mood

SOOOOO~

after the events of lesson 16 its been difficult for mc to sleep let alone fall asleep near the brothers, royals, and demons in general (due to wanting to stay awake to avoid belphie in their dreams). finally after some time (and forming a pact with belphie) they now are comfortable enough to sleep around the demons. HOWEVER, whenever they are asleep and anyone tries to touch, move, or interact with them whilst asleep, the mc(or reader, your choice) they subconsciously will move away from the person touching them. another thing you could add to this is its only with the demons/reapers and not with solomon, luke, simeon, or the angels.

i know this is off brand again but we live, we love, we lie

~⭕️ anon

(my tumblr has been glitching so if this sends twice ignore it ❤️)

COVID???? Oh no, please get lots of rest and fluids and all that jazz!

But let's talk about this for a minute because Lesson 16 angst? Sleep issues? Belphie slander? This sounds on-brand to me!

I think there's a lot of room to explore other possible reactions to Lesson 16 since canon!MC is sort of like:

(Meanwhile I'm staring at my phone like, "WHY IS MC ACTING THIS WAY, HELLO???")

I'm not saying the game should introduce trauma-for-drama's sake, but at the same time, it likes to gloss over a lot of things that should give the characters pause.

I like your idea, that the sleeping reactions to the demons is subconscious because MC might be trying to move on and say they forgive Belphie/the demons for what happened, but part of them is still traumatized/healing.

(tbh my MC would've booked it right over to Purgatory Hall for the rest of the exchange program lol they'd sleep on the sofa if they had to.)

I just had a thought—in Karasu's AU, would MC be frightened/react like that with him too? Since he's a demon and all...oh no. LOL THE ANGST IS CONTAGIOUS!

[your-divine-ribs]

I’m With the Band Part 17

Words: 1.5k

I’m With the Band Masterlist Main Masterlist

"Arabella! Where've you been? I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"Sam!" I say, not being able to keep the surprise out of my voice. "I was just... errr... just... umm there was a massive queue for the toilet!"

I feel flustered, caught out, the knowledge of what I've just been doing at the forefront of my mind, like everyone is going to take one look at me and know exactly what I've been up to. It doesn't help that I'm no doubt wearing the tell-tale flush that always stains my skin when I climax, my cheeks and upper chest glowing with it. I've also realised too late that I left the scene of the crime minus my panties and I cringe inside, picturing them lying discarded on Van's hotel room floor, wondering if Larry might have spotted them. That could be awkward.

Sam's chatting away to me, completely oblivious to my embarrassment whilst I stretch the hem of my short dress further down my thighs, still feeling the sticky wetness of my arousal as I press my legs together.

Van really is something. He's certainly got hidden talents that go way beyond his song writing skills. No one else has hit the spot quite like that before quite so quickly. It's like he knew every inch of my body already without ever having been acquainted with it. I wonder whether he just has a natural affinity for these things or whether he's slept with so many girls that he's become like some kind of orgasm-giving aficionado.

Probably the latter I think bitterly, surprised and dismayed by the sting of jealousy which shoots through me. I quickly push it aside. Of course I'm not jealous. I'm only interested in having a good time. And Van's not the only one who can provide that.

"Are ya listening to anything I've been saying?"

Sam's face swims into view and I realise that I've completely zoned out, thinking about Van. I recover quickly with a flirtatious remark, curling a hand around Sam's waist and drawing him near to talk closely into his ear. It seems to be working, but as I look over his shoulder I see Van approaching with a face like thunder.

I ignore him, switching my attention back to Sam, expecting him to just storm past, but to my complete shock I feel a large firm hand closing around my wrist.

"Hey whatcha doing?" Sam calls out, confusion clear on his face as Van pulls on my arm, wrenching me away from him.

"Yeah Van, what the hell?" I add, trying to pull back but he's too strong and I'm too tipsy to put up a fight.

"I want a word with you!" He says, his voice stern, and he keeps pulling, dragging me with such force it makes me stumble over my feet.

"Hey Van... be careful with her mate!" Sam calls, stepping forward, concerned. "You okay Bella?"

I consider kicking up a fuss but reluctantly decide that it's not worth it, I've only just met Sam tonight and I don't want to jeopardise things because of Van's childish moodiness. I mumble that I'm fine and traipse after Van, muttering that I'm coming and he can let go of my arm, but he doesn't. He keeps a firm grip as he marches me from my spot on the terrace back into the hotel suite. I think he's going to take me back to his room but he stops short, guiding me into the kitchen area and coming to a stop in front of me whilst I lean up against the wall.

"What's got into you?" I blurt, folding my arms across my chest, wondering how on earth he can go from attentive lover to sulky adversary in the space of ten minutes.

He looks back at me, incredulous. "What's got into me? More like what's got into you!"

"Nothing's got into me!" I huff.

"Well... maybe I should have got into you then. If I did then maybe you wouldn't be running off to Fender whilst your knickers are still lying on my hotel room floor!"

Ouch! That stung...

To make matters worse he digs into his back jeans pocket and produces a balled up fist. I don't realise until he throws the contents at my face that it's actually my panties.

"Fucks sake Van!" I hiss, my cheeks going scarlet as I scrabble for them as they drop down to rest draped over my shoulder.

"Everything alright in here?"

I snap my head up at the sound of Johnny's voice, quickly shoving the hand holding my underwear behind my back. I plaster on a fake smile so Johnny won't notice my embarrassment. "Yeah... all good!" I say brightly.

In contrast Van doesn't even try to hide his annoyance. "It's private actually Bonds!" He snaps, much to his friend's surprise.

Johnny looks taken aback, his mouth falling agape. "It's just that Sam said..."

"I don't care what Fender says!" Van fumes. "This is between me and Bella, okay?"

Oh wow, he's really mad. I wonder for a moment whether he's justified but no sooner has the thought entered my head, I dismiss it. I've not actually done anything wrong. I was just talking to Sam, and even if I was intending to do more, it's none of Van's business. Just because we've shared a few sexy encounters it doesn't give him the right to dictate to me who I can and can't hook up with. In fact, the more I think about it the more vexed I get.

I wait until Johnny slinks away and he's out of ear-shot, then I let rip at Van.

"What is your bloody problem? You picked on me when I was a kid, and I stupidly thought you'd grown up since then, but you've obviously not. It's actually none of your business who I speak to... or who I shag!"

"So you're gonna shag him?"

"I didn't say that, did I?" I retort, exasperated. "And even if I want to, what's it to you?"

"You're fucking infuriating!" He hisses. "You know how good I can make you feel and you go running off to him straight after? What... is it because he's got some number 1 album out? That's it isn't it? Bet he still can't make you come in five minutes flat!"

Van looks deadly serious but I can't help the laugh that erupts from me. "My god, you're so full of yourself! You really do think you're God's gift don't you?"

"You fucking loved it!" He says, eyes flashing with a touch of anger and more than a hint of passion too. "Come on Bella, don't deny it."

I lean back against the wall, refusing to look impressed, trying to deny to myself that his fiery outburst and passionate jealousy isn't actually a huge turn on, because surprisingly it is. It's just that giving in to Van now would be too easy. I think he'll just have to work harder to convince me. Much harder in fact. I've always loved the thrill of the chase... as long as I'm not the one doing the pursuing.

Van seems to mistake my passiveness for an agreement. He places one hand flat on the wall to the side of my head, leaning in until his face is just inches away from mine.

"So... you gonna keep me company tonight then, huh? I'm gonna be awful lonely in that huge bed all by myself..."

Fuck... why does he have to be so bloody tempting? My body is screaming yes whilst my mind is saying no in the sternest of voices. Giving in to Van now is only going to give him the green light to thinking he has some kind of monopoly on my attentions. And I've never been one for settling for just one guy. I'm having way too much fun for that.

"C'mon... I'll make sure it's a night to remember," he whispers into my ear, his breath warm on my neck, his lips brushing my skin lightly before he pulls back to look at me.

"Well..." I say, drawing out the word like I'm pondering his invitation. "The night is still young. I might be tempted..."

A crowd of party-goers wander into the kitchen at that point and a smartly dressed guy in a suit who I presume is from the record label breaks away from them when he spots Van, instantly starting to head over.

"There he is, the man of the moment! Come and have a drink with us Van!"

Van's attention shifts at the sound of his name and I take my chance to slide out of the corner that he's got me backed into, but I don't get far before he's grasping my wrist again as I turn to slip away.

"Don't forget Bella... my room later. Be there, okay?"

I fix Van with an alluring look, a hint of a pout with wide eyes.

"Maybe..." I say, the small shrug of my shoulders showing him that it's definitely not a done deal.

Then I don't give him time to react, pulling my arm out of his grip and pushing firmly past him, smiling to myself at his look of frustration as he realises he's got to let me go and speak to his party guests.

I make for the outside terrace again, scanning the crowd. Now where did Sam get to?

[tips-from-a-tech-worker]

It's been some time, eh?

Howdy folks! It's been some time since I last properly posted on here, huh?

Just as a warning, I am going to be getting into some deeply personal stuff, as well as deeply distressing stuff relating to myself and wider society, so if you're not in the right place for that, I suggest you skip past this.

Firstly, I just want to say thanks so much for all of you still engaging with this rarely updated page. I post maybe once a year, and a lot of the time it isn't even anything to do with what I originally created this page for: to show off code that I thought was particularly pretty, or code that made something particularly pretty.

I still enjoy all that stuff, no doubt about it. But I've honestly found it quite tricky to be enthusiastic about writing code at the moment.

For context, I work at a university developing apps and websites for medical research. That sounds quite valuable and fulfilling right? I mean I thought so too for such a long time. But lately, I've been having my doubts.

A lot of what we do make creates so much added overhead for doctors, where they already barely have time to see patients as it is. It also adds so much overhead to the lives of patients who engage with these apps. Most of our apps are for mental health help, and our research studies show that participants always engage and love it.. But they're research participants.. They're already self-selecting to be engaged and interested. As it turns out, a lot of mentally unwell people do not have the capacity for any of the stuff we make - myself included!

On top of not feeling like my work is contributing - on the contrary, it feels like it is making things worse - universities here are, in practice, dictated by private interests and the "market", whatever the hell that is. It is nominally funded by the government, but they largely do not do that. Because of this, they run as businesses.

Oh, your department isn't profitable anymore despite doing incredibly important work? Well, the market says you gotta go. You and 10,000 people who work there.

Some academic staff have half an hour of free time in the middle of the day? Well, that obviously means that we can fire a tonne of admin and put all that labour onto the backs of the researchers.

Oh, we fired all the cleaners at the beginning of the pandemic, but now things have opened again we have no cleaners? Well the students can handle that one! That's free labour!

It's all a bit maddening.

On top of all that as well, our university has decided that rather than solve any of these issues, it's going to ignore them, on top of many other issues of racism, transphobia, homophobia, antisemitism, islamophobia, you name it! All this, in the face of raking in millions in profits every year.

I know a lot of that is nothing to do with software development, but as software development is part of my job, and my job is within the university, you might imagine that this leaves a slightly awful taste in my mouth.

What stings even more is that I thought working in the university was the preferable choice. I worked in a couple of privately ran tech companies a while ago, and it was hell on earth. And now, finding out that the supposed "escape route" is also as bad.. Code is the last thing on my mind. It's the last thing I want on my mind.

Just a bit about me. I am a non-binary person. I've known this all my life, despite not really having the language to describe it. Since I was very young, every encounter I had with "gender" REALLY distressed me for some reason. I had put it down to patriarchy, sexism, all that horrible stuff, and for a large part that was true. Like all that stuff is SUPER distressing. But it didn't explain the whole picture.

Over the pandemic I had time to properly sit down and reflect on myself and my identity - and SO much more but I'm trying to keep things focussed here! I finally put a pin in it, and that helped so much. A lot of the gender distress, whilst still there as background noise, went away. Clouds were lifted. ...Until now clouds found their way in..

Not sure if anyone is aware, but the UK (yes sorry I'm British) is a deeply transphobic society - well, at least the parts of it you are allowed to see through the lens of the privately owned media. Discovering, or at least admitting to myself, that I was non-binary was a huge step forward into the gaze of this society. A society whose public conversation is largely captured by transphobic actors. Lord Alan Sugar - ruling class in every aspect, JK Rowling - a castle owning bigot who wrote a few books that people seem fixated on, almost the entirety of the Conservative and Labour party, just about every newspaper column that exists (including the supposedly progressive ones).

On top of that, none of these people who are in control of society, or at least have a lot of influence over it, seem to want to do anything about the existential problems we're facing. Climate change, multiple health crises, poverty, etc. You name it, god forbid they action anything to resolve this.

But what has this got to do with coding? Well not much honestly.. But whilst all this is rattling in my head, and I am trapped making code for people that do not care about me - or at worst, actively want to see me removed from society - and I'm making code that doesn't do anything useful, I know I'm not doing anything that could help all this. I'm too shattered after a day of doing a job I hate to do anything positive.

I've taken the last month or so off work on sick leave, and honestly I am tempted to take more off. The ONE good thing about working at the university is it's sick leave policy. As an employee of 3 or more years, I am entitled to 6 months sick leave at full pay. I feel like I should probably make use of that, eh?

But during my time off I have been focusing on myself. Playing video games, streaming a bit, and hey, even faffing around with bits of code! But also..

I don't know if it's obvious from my videos - I mean, you'll have probably figured this out from this very post - but I am very politically engaged to say the least. And over the years of seeing issue after issue not being addressed by people supposedly there to help us, I've come to the conclusion that we should probably start helping ourselves. We live in a society where everything is dictated by a few very rich individuals, and the majority of us have to just accept whatever decree is issued upon us. I don't particularly think that this is a fair, just, or even effective structure of society. And over the past few years I've come to the realisation that it doesn't have to be.

Society is built and maintained by people who do the work. Farmers, mechanics, shop assistants, doctors, firefighters, teachers, and yes even coders. We spend our lives answering to a series of bosses telling us what to do, how to do our jobs, when we should work, when we should go home, and things really do not have to be this way.

As a bare minimum, I have become quite the advocate of worker-cooperatives. That is, companies that are owned, managed, and ran entirely by the people who work at them. There are quite a few examples of this across the planet but the largest of which is Mondragon.

But I don't necessarily think that is enough to fix the issues in the world. Sure, they help in the immediate. Give workers a chance to be able to control their lives, make a decent living, etc. But workers-cooperatives still have to engage in "the market" - again, nobody has explicitly told me what this is yet. But because they do, then the threat of climate collapse is still there. Some of you might have clicked as to where I'm going with this.

To put it plainly, I am a communist. Now already that is conjuring some fantastical image in your minds of a glorious (or despotic) workers' republic, men with big beards, and big red stars (which personally I am at least a little sympathetic to but I get why people would be hesitant of this). I just wanted to dispel a few myths whilst I'm here.

I advocate and am actively trying to help build a society where everyone in a community - be that a workplace, where a group of people live, or where a group of people play - has an equal say in how that community is ran. History has thousands of examples of collectively ran communities from early civilization right up to the modern day. And whilst none of them were particularly perfect (nothing ever is), they put people in a position where if an issue came up, people could coordinate and try and resolve this issue.

To do this, I am actively involved in IWW union organising. I think the best way for workers to gain collective and equal control of society is by capturing it one workplace at a time so that each and every workplace is fair to the people who do the majority of the work.

But what does this have to do with climate change? With transphobia? Any of it? Well, as said before, a lot of our society is owned by some very rich individuals who will do anything they can to keep hold of what they got. These people aren't inherently "evil" or whatever. But the system of which we exist in encourages them to hold onto what they have by any means necessary. To do this, and they might not even realise they're doing it, they will try and make sure that everyone else is at each others throats by pushing transphobia, racism, all that horrible stuff.

As well as this, those individuals often have friends who own the coal industries, the oil industries, the gas industries, etc, etc. All of whom make their living off those pollutants. It is in their interest to make sure those industries make money. They're not going to change their minds because that is how they survive. But were society controlled by everyone, especially those who would be actively affected by climate change, then something could actually be done.

Okay. But what the HELL does this have to do with coding? Well.. It was a starting point for me. It led to all these thoughts. All these realisations. I started thinking about what I was doing, what I was making. Then I thought about why I was doing it, why my boss wanted me to do it. Then kept expanding from there. Eventually, it painted this whole picture.

I know by this point I will have lost a lot of you. Some people will have immediately seen the long post and gone "Nah, I ain't reading that" and honestly I don't blame you. Some people will have seen the word "communist" and flown off into a rage-induced coma. Again, I don't necessarily disparage people from reacting like that in the face of everything people are told about communists. But I felt that saying all this in the open was appropriate. Every year it feels like we're coming closer and closer to collapse. We can already see it around us. Wear and tear. Cracks slowly expanding. And nobody is doing much to stop it. People are barely pointing at the cracks. Some people are insisting they've always been there, or that they're not there at all. I NEED people to know, and to do something, and to want to do something.

Congrats for making this far. I know the tail end of this has gone into a bit of a poorly structured ramble (as if the rest wasn't..). All this to basically say, I don't think I want to use this page to show off code. I think it can be much more useful than that.

From here on, the posts you will see here will relate to community organising (mostly workplace union organising) and practical things people can do to try and gain some sort of control.

I understand that this will upset, confuse, and even anger some people. But I need to do this for myself. But not only that, I want to do this for everyone else.

Feel free to unfollow, ask questions, do whatever. But please understand that things are getting a bit desperate.

Once again, thank you all so much for all the support and interest over the years. I started this in 2014/15 when I was in a bit of a pit of dispair and wanted to show off something I was passionate about to keep the darkness at bay, and you all helped so much with that. I don't think I'll ever forget this community, but I must move on.

Stay safe, and solidarity. xox

P.S. Apologies for the typos. I was going to run through this a second time. But I REALLY just want it all off my chest now. We can work through it together if need be. <3

[faefarm]

Hi!

I just want to say thank you for creating my dream game I started playing it today and it’s what I’ve been looking for in a video game for such a long time so thank you 💖💖💖

I was wondering if it might be possible to have a demo for the game in the future? Some of my friends want to try it out first before they decide if they want to buy it (I’m letting them play on my switch so they can do this), but if someone doesn’t have a friend with the game they might not want to risk it.

I also wanted to ask about how multiplayer works as I’m a little confused. Is it like Stardew Valley where you can create a shared farm and you and your friends can make new characters to play on it together? Or is it different? (Btw it’s amazing that people on PC and on Switch can play together; I love this feature).

I’ve seen some people make suggestions in your asks about game features in possible future updates and wanted to share some things I’ve noticed whilst playing so far, but please ignore this if you’re not taking suggestions! I wanted to mention these just in case, but if you’re not taking suggestions that’s totally fine as well! 🌸🌸

1. I’m not sure if I can do this or not so this is more of a question than a suggestion, but can you change your name? I accidentally made my name my switch username which is fine because I like my username but I originally wanted to use my actual first name aha. Also being able to change names and pronouns would be really nice for people transitioning who don’t want to restart the game :D

2. This is random but if there’s ever plans to expand the face marking options, could there be one with just the starry freckles without the crescent moon on the forehead? It’s a small thing, but when I was choosing I was like ohh I’d love just the starry freckles ✨✨✨

3. When playing the game on switch (I don’t know if it’s different on PC), I wanted to name my house ‘Rose Cottage’ but there weren’t enough letters so I had to name it ‘Rose Cott.’ which is fine but having more letters would be rlly rlly nice 🌹

4. All the characters I’ve encountered so far are so interesting!! I was wondering if more of them could be romanceable later on? I kept meeting characters and being like ‘oh my friend would lovee this character’ and then realising they’re not on the romance options list. It’s not a big thing as I think the options that are there already are good, but it would be cool a thing to add. I think some of the store owners seem really nice like Rosalind 🌷

5. I love collecting clothing and furniture and bugs and fish and flowers: all that stuff and I’m soooo happy with how many options Fae Farm provides but I’m also a crazy collector, so more can never hurt. It’s not something the game needs, but if there was a DLC or something like that, more stuff is always fun!

Sorry this is so long; I’m just so hyped about this game and can’t wait to play more! I’ve had to take a break cuz I was playing it solidly all morning lol.

This game has come out during a rlly stressy time for me as I’m starting university next week, so having this to get cosy when I’m winding down from all the overwhelming new stuff is rlly rlly amazing 💖💖💖💖💖

Thank you!!

Hello!

I love the passion in these questions! Answers below!

I was wondering if it might be possible to have a demo for the game in the future?

Oh that's a great point, we'll pass this along to our team for consideration!

I also wanted to ask about how multiplayer works as I’m a little confused. Is it like Stardew Valley where you can create a shared farm and you and your friends can make new characters to play on it together? Or is it different?

Yes, you can create a new world for multiplayer or simply invite friends to your farm! It's purely invitational so no random people, and once the hosts leave players will be kicked off the host's island. You essentially create a new character when you join a multiplayer farm! If you host, you're still in control, but players can affect things like resources (they're shared) and side quests that include romances!

I’ve seen some people make suggestions in your asks about game features in possible future updates and wanted to share some things I’ve noticed whilst playing so far, but please ignore this if you’re not taking suggestions!

We love taking in suggestions, we'll answer below!

1. I’m not sure if I can do this or not so this is more of a question than a suggestion, but can you change your name?

You can change your name on https://account.phxlabs.ca/ and that will act as your display name! You can also change your main username on Switch if you haven't created a Phoenix Labs account, but once you create a PHXL account it will be your primary name!

2. This is random but if there’s ever plans to expand the face marking options, could there be one with just the starry freckles without the crescent moon on the forehead? It’s a small thing, but when I was choosing I was like ohh I’d love just the starry freckles ✨✨✨

I love this, we can definitely pass along the desire for more facial markings!

3. When playing the game on switch (I don’t know if it’s different on PC), I wanted to name my house ‘Rose Cottage’ but there weren’t enough letters so I had to name it ‘Rose Cott.’ which is fine but having more letters would be rlly rlly nice 🌹

There is a character limit, we will pass this along!

4. All the characters I’ve encountered so far are so interesting!! I was wondering if more of them could be romanceable later on?

We definitely want to introduce more romance characters! Merchants most likely will not be romanceable characters, but we'll never say never! I like Rosalind too 💞

5. I love collecting clothing and furniture and bugs and fish and flowers: all that stuff and I’m soooo happy with how many options Fae Farm provides but I’m also a crazy collector, so more can never hurt. It’s not something the game needs, but if there was a DLC or something like that, more stuff is always fun!

More things to collect is definitely a plus! We can't spoil DLC content, but we're sure you'll love it!

Thank you for such passionate questions, we can't wait to see you in-game!