die in your arms
pairing: jaehyun x (f) reader
genre/warnings: smut, angst, horror/thriller, explicit descriptions of violence and murder, unprotected sex, mentions of suicide, character death
summary: Every single night before bed, you play your royal husband, Jaehyun, a song on his grandfather's piano as a distraction from the ominous sounds you hear. To the public, you're all smiles, but discreetly, you're a slave to your suspicions. Though it seems the more you pry, the more secrets you start to unravel.
word count: 22.4k
a/n: spooky fic for the spooky season… or at least it was when i first posted it lol. as always, feedback is appreciated!
Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop, you chanted to yourself, running because your life depended on it.
Your feet hurt and you had lost track of how long you had been running for, but you pushed yourself forward even as your energy from the adrenaline started to dwindle.
Never had you needed to fight for your life before. Fight for anything. Your legs burned from ache, begging for a break while your bare feet slapped against wet dirt. Your face was damp with tears and rainwater. But you never stopped. Not even for a second.
Not as long as he was behind you. Even after hours of running, you knew he wouldn’t stop until he had at last caught you. He could run across acres of land and never break a sweat.
Lightning struck and you screamed, only to realize it was the shrouds of darkness looming over you. You were on edge.
“My love,” Jaehyun sang, calling out to you from a distance.
His voice made you shudder, but you bunched your dress into your fists, the white gown difficult to run in. You didn’t look back, though you knew that he wasn’t far.
Pushing Jaehyun’s voice to the back of your head, you tried to find an escape route. The garden had to stretch across at least a thousand acres. There was no end in sight. You were inclined to believe you were running in circles across perfectly manicured grass and stone trails.
Jaehyun had the upper hand. It was his palace, for heaven’s sake. He had grown up wandering around these paths and exploring halls that were carbon copies of each other. You had barely made it out of the palace, clearing corridor after corridor, though unsure if you were making any distance because of how they paralleled.
You found another stone footpath, feeling the ground harden beneath your feet where moonlight shone through the tiniest of puddles. For whatever reason, seeing your scared face in your reflection gave you chills. Your face that was once perfectly made was ruined with streaks of mascara, black.
What should have been the happiest day of your life had quickly turned upside-down.
When you glanced aside, what you saw nearly got another hair-raising scream out of you, but you bit your lip hard enough to make yourself bleed.
Horror was beginning not to explain your feelings as you fought for survival, wide eyes drifting around the pond in a perfect rectangle. There were tombstones surrounding the pond, watered by rain. You could see names etched on them; your parents, Jaehyun’s parents, and some of his servants. Dead fish floated in the water.
“No,” you cried out, kneeling aside your parents’ gravestones. You didn’t care that your dress dirtied. You lost all purpose for it the second you saw him for the monster he had been all along.
From the beginning this had only been a perfectly crafted game where you never had a chance. You were baited like an animal and Jaehyun was somewhere watching you like a hawk in the sky, because little did you know, you would never make it out.
He had made sure of that.
“This is your home now,” Jaehyun exclaimed, but it was all white noise to you. You didn’t even know where he was or how far he stood from you. Your mind was racing but empty all the while.
You knew there had to be a shed somewhere. If you were quick, maybe you could hit him over the head with a trowel or a really heavy pot. If you wanted to make it out alive, you had to escape on your own. You knew there was nobody else alive out here aside from you and Jaehyun.
Not to mention thinking about what Jaehyun would do to you if he caught you made your blood run cold, because you simply didn’t know. He was an enigma to you now. You went from living every little girl’s dreams of becoming a princess to living a never-ending nightmare.
“Darling. There you are,” Jaehyun said, as if he hadn’t already had you trapped.
You screamed, screamed a silent cry, unable to hear his wet footsteps over the sound of your mind racing a thousand thoughts per hour. It was over. You lost. He had caught you.
Jaehyun swept you into his arms and crooned, “Shh, it’s alright. Everything is okay, darling.”
Every exhale was a battle. You heaved, chest undulating, and tried to regain some semblance of composure. Your eyes studied the room and you realized you were no longer in Jaehyun’s boundless garden, but in his chamber. There was no rain pouring on you. Only sweat beading at your skin, cooling at your neck.
“It was just a nightmare,” Jaehyun whispered, voice sweet and tender as it had always been.
You still shuddered, but you were relieved that it was only a dream. You leaned into Jaehyun’s touch, breathing in the crisp air.
You flitted your gaze to the balcony attached to the giant chamber, blocked off by a glass door. The royal blue curtains were drawn, giving you a perfect view of the garden it overlooked. Rain fell brutally and little droplets gathered at the screen.
Nights like this were a recurring series of events ever since you started sharing a bed with Jaehyun. You would wake in the middle of the night, damp with sweat, screaming your lungs off. Jaehyun would hold you and whisper sweet nothings in your ears, trying to calm you down.
If you were being honest, it wasn’t Jaehyun that was giving you nightmares, in spite of the fact that the one key element they all shared was that he would be hunting you down in all of them. It was the dangerous lack of sleep you were getting. Interestingly, the monarchy had owls that kept you up at night, and when you finally fell asleep, bad dreams loomed over you.
For whatever reason, sleep deprivation made you prone to them. You tried to remind yourself Jaehyun was a great guy and your stupid brain playing tricks on you was not a reflection of his character, but the fact that you consistently had more or less the same dream solely about him made you antsy.
Grow up. Dreams don’t mean anything. You sound like a little girl afraid of the monsters under her bed, you hissed to yourself, chastising. The fact that it was so silly was enough to make you promptly dismiss your worries.
For the three months you had been engaged, Jaehyun took the extra time to get to know you. It was strange, because he didn’t need to. Your marriage was a business proposal rather than the kneeling before your lover kind, and both of your parents had influence throughout the country. You had never spoken until then.
In spite of that detail, Jaehyun treated you as if he could see himself truly loving you one day. Maybe because he wanted things to be as non-awkward as possible, given that you would be sharing the same bed at night.
By day, Jaehyun would flaunt you in front of the media and hold you flush against him at royal events as he did throughout your betrothal. The wedding had to have been the most remarkable occasion of them all. It lasted throughout the entire day, hundreds of thousands of people present to celebrate your nuptials.
When you married, you moved into the palace, which was precisely when the nightmares started. Because of those goddamn owls.
Some nights later, you shot up again, having yet another nightmare. Noticing the bedside lamp was switched on, you glanced to your side, observing Jaehyun with a book in hand and spectacles sitting squarely on the bridge of his nose. “Another bad dream?”
You nodded, biting your lip. You felt bad and slightly embarrassed. Never had you and Jaehyun shared a bed until your honeymoon, so his first impression of your sleeping habits were you being prone to crying out in the middle of the night.
Jaehyun, setting his book to the side after marking his place, opened his arms for you. You crawled into them without hesitation. Over time, they had started to feel like home. It took the edge off your homesickness.
This is your home now. You shivered. It’s just a dream. It’s just a dream. It’s just a very bad fucking dream, you comforted yourself.
Jaehyun whispered tenderly, “Tell me what you saw.”
You swallowed and damped your throat. Though you had told him about the owls, you kept to yourself the bit about him chasing you like a serial killer. “It’s a little dark,” you told him in fair warning.
Jaehyun didn’t seem to give a damn. “It’s only a dream. It can’t scare me. Unless a monster is going to hop out of your cute brain and yell, ‘Boo!’”
You giggled. Leave it to Jaehyun to make you laugh when you needed it most. He had come to learn your needs over those three months of bonding.
Jaehyun threw you an expectant look. “Well?”
You hesitated, but ultimately gave in. Jaehyun was your husband now, for fuck’s sake. What couldn’t you tell him? “Well, every night I have the same nightmare about… you. You’re always chasing me throughout the castle. Every time, I get close to escaping, but you catch me in the end. And then I wake up.”
“It’s not very realistic.”
You pulled back, giving him a look. “Hm?”
“I would never chase you,” Jaehyun said. “I will always have you right where I want you.”
Your eyes flickered. It was an unsettling comment, but you tried to let it go. Jaehyun doesn’t have an evil bone in his body, you reminded yourself. He’s harmless.
Jaehyun clambered out of bed, sitting his spectacles on top of his book, and stood on two feet. When you merely watched him with interest, he beckoned you to mirror him. “Come on. I have something to show you.”
Hesitantly you obeyed him, crawling from bed and sliding on your slippers. Following him into the halls, you walked hand in hand with Jaehyun the entire time who had laced his fingers through yours comfortably. The gesture made you smile, no matter how little.
Like in your dreams, the corridors were of length and resembled each other almost precisely. High stone walls stood tall, statues at its sides, and chandeliers glared at you from above your heads. Given it was after nightfall, the halls were dimly lit.
One of the statues you swore you saw move and give you a mean glower. You asked curiously, “Did you ever break anything when you were a child?”
“Not that I remember. No.”
“Huh,” you retorted. “You must have been a wonderful child.”
“I stayed in my room and looked out the window,” Jaehyun muttered under his breath.
Your eyes flickered.
Jaehyun brought you to a room at the very end of the passage but before he drew the doors open, he told you softly, “Close your eyes.”
You rolled your eyes, but did as told, giggling. Jaehyun got a hold of both of your hands and placed them over your face for safe measure. Then, he drew the doors open, pushing you inside.
Jaehyun guided you mysteriously throughout the room and you let him without question. You knew he had switched the lights on, the corners of your vision getting brighter in spite of the dark void, and he stopped you momentarily.
“Now, open.”
You slowly opened your eyes, squinting while you adjusted to the bright lights. Then they focused in front of you, and what you saw made you giddy with excitement.
“Whoa,” you gasped, running a hand over the grand piano. It was royal blue, monarchical patterns thoughtfully designed over the lid.
Jaehyun was sporting the biggest smile you had ever seen. “Do you like it?”
You bobbed your head. During your engagement, you remembered telling Jaehyun, en passant, that you had been enamored with playing pianos since you were little. “You remembered,” you said quietly, touched.
Jaehyun’s dimples showed and it was the cutest thing ever. He spoke softly, “This was my grandfather’s piano. He hated bad weather and played it when it stormed. I know that it’s not the same, but I thought that maybe if you played the piano before bed, it would help with your nightmares.”
“That’s really thoughtful of you, Jaehyun,” you replied, heat spreading through your chest like wildfire. “Do you want me to play you a song?”
“Yes,” Jaehyun said and pulled out a chair.
You sat on the piano bench, getting comfortable and warming up your fingers lest they cramped in the middle of your impromptu performance. For a multigenerational piano, it was still in perfect condition.
“My mother taught me this,” you told him in preparation.
You proceeded to play him a mind-blowing masterpiece, your eyes and hands trained to the keyboard. Jaehyun was dumbfounded that any human being could be so graceful while playing an instrument and kept himself fixed to your supple fingers. He was enamored, knowing then and there that he wanted to hear you play your sweet song forever.
Eyes closed, everything disappeared behind the sound of the keys, and you carried yourself to a world where there was nothing but you and your piano. Where no harm could reach you.
Me and my song. That's how you got through everything. As long as you had a piano, everything would be okay.
When you were done, you glanced up at Jaehyun, studying him for a reaction.
Jaehyun was all smiles. He was endlessly proud of you, clasping his hands together in applause when the performance ended. His heart was asking for an encore, and he knew you most likely wanted one yourself. He could see that you were truly at peace when you played, in a world of your own, at your happiest.
“You’re the most talented player I've ever heard,” Jaehyun whispered sweetly.
Heat filled your cheeks and you hid it with a roll of your eyes. “You’re only saying that because I’m your wife.”
Jaehyun took your hands in his palms again, kissing the back of your palm tenderly. “You are my talented wife, who I love very much.”
Your heart stopped. His wife. Who he loved. He loved you? You expected to be merely something he had to put up with, but Jaehyun had come to genuinely love you. To say nothing of yourself. This boy had swept you off of your feet in no time at all.
“I love you too,” you whispered back, smiling so hard your cheeks hurt. Now that he had done such a thoughtful gesture, you loved him even more.
Jaehyun saw the stars in your eyes and squeezed your hand. “Are you ready to go back to bed?”
“Yes,” you chirped with glee.
Jaehyun hoisted you into his arms bridal style and you squealed in surprise, wreathing your arms around his neck while he carried you back to the bedchamber.
You slept soundly after that. No screaming. No nightmares.
As it turned out, his grandfather’s piano was the perfect countermeasure for your night terrors. You were dumbfounded that you actually managed to sleep through the whole night, well rested for the formal dinners and publicity appearances that came with being royalty.
For each of them, you clung flush to Jaehyun’s side, radiant. You didn’t speak unless spoken to. It was no question why you of all the women from a handpicked list were selected to become his wife. You had been cautiously groomed for the role, the pretty and obedient little thing meant to stand by the prince's side and carry his children. Especially his son.
Maybe it seemed demeaning, though you had no intention of making waves in the monarchy. You kept in step, rather than marched to the beat of your own drum. You were more than content to silently bathe in their luxuries and confide in your husband.
But it did get lonely.
One lazy afternoon, just after lunch, the king approached you and Jaehyun as the two of you were shooting the breeze in The Great Chamber. You noticed his father first and greeted him respectfully, “Good afternoon, Your Majesty.”
Jaehyun opted for a polite bow.
The king motioned his head. “Good afternoon. I am only here to announce your mother-in-law and I’s departure. We will be traveling abroad on business for a couple of weeks. Your mother-in-law is already with an escort waiting outside the exit hall.”
That baffled Jaehyun. “Why the abrupt exit?”
“We have some affairs to attend to that couldn’t wait and we owe the prime minister a favor. We will return as briefly as possible.”
Jaehyun nodded. “Travel safely.”
“Of course. And son, the country is yours in our absence,” said the king. Then, he locked eyes with you. “Yours as well.”
You were stunned for a couple of seconds, but masked it well and replied demurely, “Yes, sir.”
The king bid each of you farewell individually then scurried to the exit hall with his wife to be chauffeured to their private charter.
Jaehyun met your eyes with a mischievous smile and said when his parents were out of earshot, “Appears it’s just the two of us.”
“Mm-hm,” you hummed, amused by the amount of sheer mischief in his stare. “Just me, you, and the hundred other people that live in this palace.”
Jaehyun chuckled, lifted your wrist, and pressed a sweet kiss to the back of your hand. “What if I sent everybody home? You heard my father. I’m in charge.”
“I also very clearly heard him mention that I’m in charge too. And I don’t think that’s a very good idea. Who’s going to make the spoiled prince’s every meal three times a day, everyday?”
“Fair point,” Jaehyun mumbled. “Do you really think that I’m spoiled?”
You replied without skipping a beat, “Rotten.”
“What a shame,” Jaehyun said. “Would it also be a shame if you came upstairs to spoil me some more?”
“Only if you didn’t spoil me back,” you replied tamely, but Jaehyun could see the unbridled lust in your eyes. It never lied to him.
You two scurried through the halls like a pair of hormonal teenagers, staggering towards the elevator with dwindling patience and giggling the entire ride upstairs.
When you came to bed that night after spending an undocumented amount of time playing Jaehyun the piano in what was once his grandfather’s bedchamber, he threw his big arms around your waist and drifted off to the view of your backside.
But when you abruptly woke, he was nowhere to be found.
You sat up in a panic. He’s just using the bathroom. Yeah, that sounds about right, you consoled yourself. The clock stared back at you on the wall, and noting the time, you decided you would wait for him to return.
Jaehyun never returned to his bedroom. You watched hours tick away at their own pace, but there was no sign of him. And in lieu of your husband’s soft snores, you only heard those familiar owls, feet dragging down the hall, and impatient ticking.
Which was completely unnerving.
You didn’t get any sleep that night. Not until Jaehyun at last came back and worriedly asked why you looked as if you had just finished a twelve-hour shift in the dungeon.
Choosing to ignore him, you snarled, “Where were you?”
Jaehyun’s eyes flickered. “Well, I was in the study. I had some late night affairs to attend to.”
“The king and queen are absent. Our royal activities have been suspended. There is nothing you could possibly need to take care of at four in the morning,” you pressed, arms folded.
“Most of our royal activities have been temporarily suspended,” Jaehyun corrected with a swiftness. “Why do you think my father left us in control? The country never sleeps.”
You sulked, especially grumpy from the lack of sleep.
Jaehyun watched you with surprise. Your grouchy, irritable attitude graveled him, because he couldn’t comprehend what he had done that was so wrong. “What’s gotten into you?”
You exhaled loudly. Maybe you were overreacting a little. Jaehyun did make a valid point, after all. Somebody still needed to nurse the country in the king and queen’s absence. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m being unreasonable,” you replied, unable to justify your cynicism.
Not to mention you couldn’t think of a single other thing that Jaehyun could have been doing so early in the morning. It was a completely plausible excuse, whether you believed it or not. And it wasn’t as if Jaehyun had ever given you a reason to doubt him.
But the feet dragging through the halls was the second most eerie sound you had ever heard, just after those evil owls that reminded you too much of gargoyles. You chalked it up to some staff members keeping guard on a late shift and gave it up.
Jaehyun pried your stubborn hand away from your crossed arms and you let him. His touch was exactly what you needed to soothe your unease. “You look tired,” he commented. “Have you been sleeping?”
“No, I was waiting for you to come back,” you grumbled gruffly and stifled a yawn out of habit. It was unladylike, they said.
Jaehyun chuckled in amusement, but scolded, “You shouldn’t wait up for me. I’m a busy man and a princess needs her beauty sleep.”
“Maybe I feel safe when you’re next to me,” you mumbled under your breath, eyes fixed to his thumb rubbing circles at your wrist.
“I’m never far from you, baby,” Jaehyun reassured you gently. “I’m always two steps behind you.”
“Behind me or ahead of me?”
“I’m omnipresent,” Jaehyun whispered and kissed your cheek sweetly. “You can play the piano. I can sing. Would you like for me to sing you a song?”
“Yes,” you replied without stopping to mull it over.
Jaehyun told you to lie back down and you obeyed without a second thought, slipping under the blankets. You felt even warmer when he snaked his arms back around you and started to croon softly in your ears, voice tickling your neck and ultimately lulling you back to slumber.
Whether or not he got back up after that was entirely unbeknownst to you.
You slept so peacefully in Jaehyun’s embrace that you didn’t even rouse until afternoon, well after Jaehyun had slipped from bed and told you good morning, whispering something in your ear about how he had duties to attend to.
You, on the other hand, were cleared of any scheduling. Which gave you ample time to explore the gardens.
Now sporting a pretty knee-length dress, you had some tea and toast as a makeshift breakfast and scuttled outside in quick, short strides. The grandiose garden was easily your favorite spot in the whole palace. You could get lost in its labyrinth of superbly pruned shrubs and terraces decked in flower petals.
For lack of a better word, it was a humbling experience. It made you feel small to be isolated in such a huge garden. You may have been a princess, next in succession to the queen’s throne, but you were also just some girl in a world larger than you would ever know.
You could prance around and gawk at pretty flowers day in and day out. It didn’t take much to keep you happy. But you rather liked company.
When you noticed one of the gardeners you recognized tending to some blossoms, you chirped, “Hi, Giselle.”
Giselle greeted you very respectfully, curtsying at your presence. “Greetings, Your Royal Highness.”
“Oh, please,” you said, almost rolling your eyes. “You can call me by my name.”
“The king and queen wouldn’t approve of the informalities, ma’am.”
You didn’t really give a damn and waved her off, replying nonchalantly, “While that is true, the king and queen are not here, and it’s only the two of us in this garden. When we are alone, you may call me by my name and I will call you by yours.”
“If you insist,” Giselle replied, followed by your name.
You smiled triumphantly.
From your previous encounters and run-ins, you had already gathered that Giselle unfortunately wasn’t very much of a talker, though you couldn’t fault her. She did what she was told and minded the business that paid her. Literally. It would do her no good to kindle conflict in the monarchy.
“These flowers are pretty,” you remarked absentmindedly.
Giselle hummed. “They’re azaleas.”
“Elegance, temperance, and death,” you said knowledgeably, staring from the terrace.
Which surprised Giselle. “Are you into flower symbolism?”
You shrugged. “I know a thing or two.”
“Hm.”
You pointed to some other flowers. They were very recognizable to you at this point. “Those are white roses. Purity, innocence, loyalty, and fresh beginnings. It’s no secret why they were scattered all over my wedding.”
“Secrecy and silence,” Giselle added offhandedly.
For a couple of seconds, that, metaphorically speaking, threw you off balance. “That too,” you said quietly.
Giselle said nothing.
You considered making peace with the silence, but with your thoughts at daggers drawn with one another, you quickly accepted that wouldn’t be possible. Secrecy and silence. There was no doubt it suited the monarchs aptly. Sometimes you even wondered what you knew about Jaehyun, because he was ghastly private.
Maybe you weren’t the closest of married couples, but you knew enough. Jaehyun liked music and singing. He was introverted and quite shy, which was laughable when considering that he was soon to become king. He was calm and sensitive. Sensual, but reticent.
Jaehyun already made clear he loved you. Maybe with time, he would show you his heart.
Then, you had another thought. Secret, but not so much silent. “Hey, Giselle,” you called out. “Do you ever hear strange noises in the palace?”
“I don’t know what you mean. Everything is normal in the royal palace.”
You frowned. It hit you that you never asked Jaehyun if they bothered him. It was possible that growing up in the castle had numbed him. “I hear owls at night.”
“That is because there are owls and they are nocturnal. We haven’t tried to get rid of them because they are helpful with the garden,” was all Giselle said.
“Well, sure,” you mumbled, because it was an entirely logical explanation. “But what about the noises I hear in the hallway?”
“Some employees take late shifts to keep guard of the palace. They are merely monitoring the halls.”
That was what you told yourself, because it was completely reasonable. But something about this place gave you a bad gut feeling and left a bitter taste in your mouth. You couldn’t explain it, because it was just a hunch.
“In all due respect, what you hear is elementary. Word of advice? Believe what I tell you now or get two hours of sleep at night later.”
You recoiled in surprise. “Excuse me?”
Giselle turned around, glanced around for any watchful eyes, and made eye contact with you. She stepped onto the terrace and whispered, “I hear scratches in the walls and cries in the floorboards. You can rationalize footsteps in the hallway, but whimpers in the chamber? Not so easy. Convince yourself that it’s nothing while you still can.”
“If I have to convince myself that it’s nothing then that means there’s something,” you shot back, looking her plain in the eye. Which also meant there was something she wasn’t telling you. “What are you hiding?”
Giselle wavered, hesitant. She wore it on her face. Her body language was screaming at you and you desperately wanted to know what it was saying. “You’re royalty,” she finally said after a moment. “You have lived lavishly your whole life without ever needing to worry about a thing. Maybe I envy what you have, but I’m not telling you this from a black heart when I say my woes are not yours.”
You didn’t bristle, but softened. She was opening up to you, and you knew there was more to this tangent of hers.
“I come from a poor background and work here to provide for my household,” she said tamely, harboring no resentment whatsoever. She wasn’t the least bit vindictive. “Because of that, I can’t afford to poke my nose where it doesn’t belong. Even if it keeps me up at night.”
“The noises,” you said. “They keep you up at night?”
“Because of that piano,” Giselle grumbled under her breath.
“What?”
Giselle pivoted and walked back to the plants, dismissing your concern. “I’ve already said too much. Please, mention this to nobody. But if you must, leave my name out.”
You nodded. “Off the record.”
Giselle smiled thinly.
Backpedaling, you pointed to another shrubbery of flowers. “What are those?”
“Hydrangeas. They might seem high maintenance, but they are fairly easy to take care of. The queen loves them, so I give them some extra attention,” Giselle told you while hoisting a watering pot.
You hummed. “Blue flowers.”
“Desire, love, and infinity,” Giselle sighed poignantly.
For half an hour, you volunteered to help Giselle with her gardening duties before she shooed you away, claiming you had done enough of her responsibilities. You wandered in the garden still, lingering, just outside of Jaehyun’s bedchamber window.
When you glanced up, you saw him watching you fondly through the balcony screen, and waved him down with a beaming smile.
Jaehyun was downstairs in a flash, sporting chinos and a casual blazer. He looked very handsome, which was nothing new for him. Plus with his pretty brown eyes and adorable dimples that were both impossible to not get lost in, you had to will yourself not to swoon.
“Hi,” you greeted.
“Hi,” Jaehyun replied, mirroring you. Except he leaned in to snake his arms just below your ribs and kissed the corner of your mouth.
You smiled at his affections, though they had disarmed you a long time ago. His ability to unsettle you when he was gone but soothe you when he touched you was to be studied. “How has your day been so far?”
Jaehyun groaned. “Next subject.”
That got a chuckle out of you. Being the ruler of a country was no easy feat, but if there was anybody fitted for the role, it was Jaehyun. “Hopefully your parents haven’t left you with too much trouble.”
Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders. “I want to relax. You look like you’re having fun.”
“Something like that.”
You decided against confiding in him about the reality of your day thus far. Not because you didn’t trust him, but because you weren’t sure of anything yourself. Giselle had mentioned something about the piano he had gifted you. Jaehyun might have been your best bet at knowing what she meant, but you needed to do a little more investigating before you got him involved.
Now that you had another person’s opinion, you could say with total confidence that you weren’t crazy. There was something spooky going on in the monarchy and you wanted to know what.
For now, you would shove the thought to a corner in the back of your mind. Days at the palace were full of whimsical fun. The nights were terrifying.
Speaking of whimsical fun, Jaehyun spoke up and asked, “Do you want to ride the ferry with me?”
That caught your attention. “Ferry?”
“Yeah. There’s a huge lake down this path and we have a mini ferry that travels from one end to the other. You interested?”
“Sign me up,” you exclaimed enthusiastically.
Getting a hold of your hand, Jaehyun walked you through the courtyard to the wooden dock at the top of the lake. Unsurprisingly, it had a decorated roofed patio with a lounging nook to wait for the vessel to return.
Fortunately for you, it was already waiting at the dock, unoccupied save for the captain Jaehyun had called up during your relaxed walk to the boating site.
Jaehyun helped you aboard, having done this more times than he cared to admit. When you were safely secured on the tiny ferry, you thanked him for being a gentleman and watched him climb aboard himself.
The captain exited the wheelhouse. “Once to and from, Your Royal Highness?”
“Make it twice. We have time to waste,” said Jaehyun, looking at you with all the affections a man could possess.
Shortly afterwards, you started moving. You stood beside Jaehyun and gripped the railing, watching the water splash beneath the boat. This place was beautiful, no doubt. Your choice to get married in the garden was unregretted.
Eerily beautiful, you thought. Though you loved the garden, there were a couple of places you avoided. Mainly the ones that made appearances in your nightmares, like the shed.
The silence was comfortable, both you and Jaehyun soaking in the view, but you broke it to say, “You’re an only child.”
“I guess you could say that.”
You gave him a look. “What do you mean?”
Jaehyun shook his head, dismissive. “Nothing. Keep talking.”
You were curious, wanting to know all there was on this boy, but let it go for his sake. “Doesn’t it get lonely - alone in this big palace? Your parents are busy nurturing the country like it’s their own child.”
Jaehyun didn’t show a single fucking emotion on his face, though that was far from shocking by now. When it was time to get personal, he became the iciest man you knew. His cold indifference somehow burned you.
You grimaced when you saw his face. “Sorry if I crossed a line.”
“No, it’s okay,” Jaehyun replied, giving you a reassuring kiss to the cheek. “I was lonely before I met you. No siblings. Few people I could trust. When I was young, I learned rather quickly that life is a game of survival. You can never be too sure who’s friend or foe.”
You listened attentively, nestling closer to his chest.
“I was taught to be my own guard, in a way. And there’s nobody to blame but myself for chasing away everybody who tries to get close. But then you came,” Jaehyun said, smiling at you adoringly. “And there was an instant connection. I think I saw pieces of myself inside of you.”
“You did?”
Jaehyun bobbed his head. “Yeah. Some people see this meek, demure princess, but I see the woman that almost cooked my ass when I wasn’t tucked into bed with her,” he joked, getting a laugh out of you.
You giggled.
Jaehyun was smiling like an idiot. It was cute and wholesome. “On a serious note, I see somebody strong and assertive. Somebody who’s not afraid to fight for what they want, even if it means going through hell and back. Somebody unbroken and undeterred.”
“Mm-hm. And you liked that,” you hummed, giving him a hooded stare.
“You have no idea,” Jaehyun purred before leaning in to smash his lips against yours.
You giggled into his mouth. Your heart skipped a beat or two when Jaehyun kissed you, tempted to leap into the palm of his hands where she belonged. The Jaehyun you had come to know was a romantic and there was nothing more romantic than making out with your lover on a beautiful ferry ride.
Except for making love with your lover below a beautiful ferry ride.
“Below deck,” Jaehyun murmured in your ear, delicately slipping his hands from your waist to lace his fingers through yours. You didn’t hesitate to follow him through the little hall, coming out in a bedroom at its very end.
You hardly even got to stand long enough to take note of your surroundings before Jaehyun hoisted you up and threw you against the silk sheets. You cried out in shock. Jaehyun had taken you more times than you bothered to count, but you were in awe at how rough the prince got when it came to sex.
When Jaehyun crept over you, staring at you with a blend of awe and unbridled lust in those pretty brown eyes of his, you combed your fingers through his dark hair and drew his mouth to yours again.
You could hear your heart thudding in your ears as you kissed him slowly. Your lips only knew each other and you could taste the ecstasy on the tip of your tongue. To say nothing of the touches. While you were fisting his hair, Jaehyun stripped you naked, tossing your dress and groping your perfect breasts.
Jaehyun was warm to the touch, but his fingers never failed to make you shiver. “I love the way your lips feel,” you confessed when he separated from your mouth.
Only to kiss his way down your stomach, lips gentle and tender. Jaehyun cocked you a glance and grinned. “And what about my dick?”
“Don’t ask stupid questions. I love your dick, duh, but that’s a different conversation deserving of its own speech. Particularly a long-winded one with a very heartfelt peroration at the climax.”
Jaehyun’s head bobbed as he snickered at the thought, before teasing, “Well, we have the Great Chamber for that when you’re ready. Feel free.”
Your laughter rang out in the little bedroom. Then, Jaehyun switched on a dime, dragging your legs towards the edge of the bed before spreading them apart like jelly and burying his face between your thighs.
Every time Jaehyun took you to bed, you remembered the first night of your honeymoon. When he took you to a cabin in the woods in April’s spring, flipped you over, and made you cry for all the forest to hear. By day, you watched nature and waltzed to his many vinyls, and by night, you made love for hours.
And to think that was only a month ago. You felt as if you’d loved Jaehyun for years.
Jaehyun ate you out until you came undone at the mercy of his brutal tongue, clamping his palms at your thighs while you convulsed and shuddered, and undulated. Fuck, he knew your body too well. You arched off the bed one final time then slumped down, defeated.
You gawked in disbelief while he watched you scramble for breath with a cocked brow. Your body’s capacity for pleasure knew no bounds when Jaehyun was the one pleasing you. “Ready to take my cock?” he asked, excitement nipping sharply in his chest at the thought of ruining you.
You nodded your head almost instantly. Your lack of patience was written all over you and you wanted him. Right now.
Jaehyun’s hands were quick to reach for his cock, steering himself skillfully to bury himself inside of your pussy. A wet sound filled the air when he sank inside and you instantly moaned his name as though it was an instinct.
You drove Jaehyun mad when you called out his name like that; with pining and desperation, and everything in between. Heaven had brought you to him and fate would keep you by his side until the very end.
“Jay,” came your airy voice. Just being filled with your husband’s cock made you feel like you were elevating, ascending into the air.
Your sounds were euphoric and drove Jaehyun to the very brink of madness, and with the last of his restraint gone, he was impelled to move at long last, thrusting into you at a leisurely yet hard pace. He lowered his face to meet yours, lips locked in a wet smack. You were skin to skin, your stiff nipples pressed against his bare chest.
Every moment was as special as the first. As a woman groomed to become a figure of importance, you were raised to remain chaste until marriage. And the day you exchanged vows with Jaehyun, he made your whole body shudder.
“God is a woman,” Jaehyun rasped, heart racing so quickly it might have burst. You were warm all over and his hands roamed every nook of your body, every curve.
Even though you wanted to laugh, all that came from your mouth was a breathless moan. Moments like these where you knew nothing but Jaehyun, scooped into his strong arms, you couldn’t help but realize how lucky you were. Not a second went by where you took him for granted.
Things could’ve been different. Jaehyun could have been an insufferable spoiled prick that acted entitled to his wife, but he was far from the visions of him you saw in your nightmares. You were grateful to be married to a man that both respected you and valued your happiness.
You locked your legs around him, pulling him into you deeper, and kissed him until the two of you were gasping for air. “You get me so wet, Jay,” you whispered, tangling your fingers through his head.
At those words, Jaehyun released an animalistic growl, so aroused you thought he might break. His thoughts revolved solely around you. How much like poison you were. How outrageously perfect you were. Head to toe.
You beamed with pride, pleased to have such a dangerous effect on your husband. The two of you meeting each other was mutually assured destruction. Nothing had been the same since Jaehyun laid eyes on you. When he saw you for the first time, he knew that he had to have you.
While your body rocked from the sheer force of Jaehyun’s thrusts, the boat gently thrashed in the water. Your breasts bounced and the sight had made Jaehyun lose what was left of his mind. One day, in the none too distant future, they would be swollen with milk and Jaehyun imagined you carrying his children.
That thought alone could have finished him. He thought of it every time he fucked you full of cum, pumping his load inside of you rough and deep, just the way you begged for him to. Watching your belly swell with your shared child would do unspeakable things to Jaehyun’s psyche.
Part of you drowned out the sounds of the water splattering against the boat in favor of listening to Jaehyun’s relentless groans. Your husband always had a flair for the romantic. Hopelessly, he used to think, until he met you.
Staring up at Jaehyun, you were bewitched by the gentle gracefulness of his features, especially as they tensed with unbridled pleasure. “Can I tell you something?” you asked.
Jaehyun nodded his head. “Anything,” he whispered.
“You smell so good.”
Jaehyun’s laughter rang out in your ears. The sight and sound brought a smile to your face. You didn’t know anyone with a more perfect laugh and you would give anything to see it again. “That’s so random.”
“But true,” you added, inhaling his scent the closer he got to your naked chest. There was hardly any space between you two at all.
Jaehyun was all smiling from ear to ear. “Can I tell you something?”
“Always.”
Jaehyun leaned into your ear, deepening his voice to a breathtaking whisper, “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”
Your heart stopped. There was something about his voice tickling your earlobe that made you gush and tighten around his cock. After searching for the ability to speak, you replied, “Funny. I feel the same way about you.”
Jaehyun chuckled deeply and you swore you became lightheaded. “Yeah?”
“Can I tell you one more thing?”
“Go for it.”
“I’m about to cum,” you told him, climax threatening to rip you apart.
“I’m gonna make you cum,” Jaehyun said, voice dark with determination. You gasped when his fingers sank to your clit and his thumb teased your bundle of nerves.
Heat swallowed you whole. You couldn’t process all of the sensations that your body was experiencing all at once. A scream came out of your mouth and Jaehyun stifled them with his palm as you trembled with orgasm, cursing the stars.
Jaehyun didn’t stop fucking until he was certain that you couldn’t take anymore. You went round after round, fisting the sticky sheets, grateful that he chose to take two trips across the lake. You had time to kill.
Your body was worn and utterly spent when Jaehyun was finished with you. You fell slack against the sheets, unable to move your stiff limbs. Given that Jaehyun was left with more than a handful of responsibilities, it should’ve come to you as no shock that he took his stress out on you.
And you were more than eager to let him. When Jaehyun made love to you, the power he wielded over you was endless. Your body was seized by him and your heart was his on a platter.
“I love you,” Jaehyun whispered deeply in your ear. It was enough to drive any woman mad. You were too breathless to say anything back, chest undulating.
For a couple of moments neither of you could hardly move and you stayed nestled into each other’s side till you regained the strength to hunt for your tossed clothes. Flush against Jaehyun’s skin, the sexual tension still lingered, and he was overwhelmingly aware of how naked you were.
After quickly redressing yourselves, you just sat on the bed for a little longer, feeling the boat still sway and knowing you weren’t back home. Jaehyun’s hand was flat against your backside, never letting you forget that he was at your side.
You tried to fend off some wandering thoughts, but your curiosity got the better of you and you surrendered to your need to know. “Jaehyun, I have something to tell you.”
Your tone was not lost on him. “It sounds serious.”
“Yeah, kind of,” you replied, swallowing the taste in your throat that made you nauseous. “It’s about my dreams. It’s not just the owl noises. I think there’s something else going on.”
Jaehyun’s brows were furrowed. “Like what?”
There was a lump in your throat. After you confided in him about your doubts and suspicions, there was no going back. “Like the piano,” you said, unsure of yourself.
Jaehyun’s demeanor shifted suddenly, aggressively. He went from cool and collected to stern on a dime, chastising, “Stop looking.”
His tone affronted you. “Excuse me?”
“It’s for your own safety. You need not to worry your pretty little head.”
Narrowing your eyes, you pressed, “So there is something going on that you’re not telling me.”
Jaehyun exhaled a heavy breath, smoothing a hand through his hair. “Promise me you’ll stop prying. This is serious. I will tell you everything that you need to know when it’s time.”
“Jaehyun, you know I can’t promise that,” you whispered.
“Please,” Jaehyun said, eyes glistening.
God, he was begging you? It had to have been serious. You couldn’t fathom him pleading for you not to investigate otherwise. But rather than discourage you, it only intensified your will to get to the bottom of the matter.
Massaging your temple, you sighed, “Okay. Pinky promise.”
You giggled when Jaehyun interlocked his pinky finger with yours, but you weren’t certain how long you would be capable of keeping that promise.
Soon after your confession, the captain signaled that the boat had returned to the dock. Jaehyun led you back through the narrow hallway with your hand in his, as if nothing had happened.
The sex. The little divulgence that followed. He’s way too naturally gifted at slipping back into this royal character, you realized. In a way, you already knew that. Jaehyun could fuck the daylights out of you then smile and wave at the media as if he was their innocent successor to the throne.
Though this was different. Jaehyun obviously had no intention of letting you know exactly what he was hiding any time soon. And if he thought you would just sit around and wait for answers, he had severely underestimated you just like every other man in this country.
Something unforgivably dark and sinister was happening. That was undeniable. You just needed to find out what.
Hours came and went, as did people. Jaehyun was right, you supposed. The country never slept. The palace alone was bustling with life at all times.
Which made you think. If both you and Giselle were apprehensive of the obvious skeletons the monarchy had in its closet, there was no way you were alone. Somebody else had to know something. Somebody with just as much to lose.
You just had to play your cards right. Giselle didn’t lie when she said that she had a lot more at stake than you. Even if the royal family abandoned you for whatever reason, you had the safety net of your own wealthy family to fall back on. Not everybody was as fortunate.
When the sun set below the horizon, Jaehyun accompanied you to his grandfather’s bedchamber, though only because you didn’t want him to grow suspicious. The piano was the only way to bulldoze your ceaseless thoughts. You were lost in your own head.
“I love you, Jaehyun,” you told him out of nowhere.
Jaehyun looked pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t often you confessed your affections. “Where’s this coming from?”
Your mind wandered back to earlier. Though you weren’t happy about him brushing off your concerns, your heart couldn’t deny the way it thumped for him. “I never said it back. And you didn’t make me.”
“Because I already know.”
You blew out a breath. Your heart told you not to risk losing his trust, but your mind was screaming that he was keeping something from you. Days ago, you would’ve been more than content with submissively obeying your husband’s commands.
But peace had never been an option.
It wasn’t long before you crept into bed with each other. You slept peacefully and uninterrupted by any nightmares. Again.
Breakfast was spent together as always. Now that his parents had left the two of you in charge, it was often the only time you had available in the mornings to share.
Any other morning, you would complain, but you were waiting with bated breath for the opportunity to get away and sneak around like a thief in the night. You weren’t keen on lying to Jaehyun, but he would just have to understand the rationale. You couldn’t keep living antsily.
You spread some butter on your toast and asked, “Would you like to visit the markets with me this afternoon?”
Jaehyun frowned. Had he not been so busy, he would’ve done whatever you wanted. You wondered why your schedule was so clear, because when Jaehyun was preoccupied, half the time so were you. “I would love to, but the committee needs my opinion on some political stuff.”
Your tone was disappointed, “Political stuff?”
Jaehyun nodded. He seemed to have fallen for it somehow. “I won’t bore you with the details.”
“Well, I won’t keep you, then,” you said, taking a sip of steaming hot coffee. Jaehyun had made it for you just the way he knew that you liked it.
“Are you trying to get rid of me? I’m not expected to be present for another fifteen minutes.” Jaehyun’s tone was light, but the accusation made your heart beat faster.
Donning your most innocent voice, you assured him, “Of course not. I just know how much you like to be punctual.”
“That is true,” Jaehyun muttered.
Ironically, the hours seemed to drag on, because you couldn’t wait for Jaehyun to leave for once. The second he was finally far out of your vicinity you discarded your leftovers and prepared yourself for the grueling task ahead of you.
Only when you emerged from the dining hall and set out on your little exploit did it occur to you that you didn’t have even the slightest clue who to ask. A couple of servants had been around quite longer than others, yet they were dreadfully tight-lipped. But for good reason.
Bumping into a younger one, you exclaimed, “Oh, good heavens! Pardon me, Mr. Kim.”
Jungwoo bowed gracefully and replied, “No, I apologize, Your Highness. I’ll pay closer attention.”
“It’s fine. I’ve been out of it since I got out of bed with Jaehyun,” you confessed, flashing a courteous smile.
To your surprise, Jungwoo threw you a baffled glance. “You share a bed with the prince?”
“Yes, he is my husband. Is that odd?”
“I’m surprised. It goes against tradition. The king and queen have always had separate bedrooms,” Jungwoo told you, scratching the back of his neck.
That was news. Though given how secretive these people were, everything was news to you. “I didn’t know that.”
Jungwoo rifled through his pockets for a spare key, pressing it into a lock on a nearby door as he rambled, “I wouldn’t either, but my dad worked here. And my granddad. With their debts, they passed down useless knowledge.”
Your interest was quickly piqued. Maybe you didn’t need to take your chances with an older worker after all. Jungwoo, way more affable and approachable, bore the knowledge of generations. “No knowledge is useless.”
“Yeah, maybe, but it’s not exactly power,” Jungwoo said, grabbing some items out of a utility closet.
“What do you mean?”
You watched Jungwoo shut the door and promptly lock it behind himself. “There are some things it’s better you don’t know, ma’am.”
“I’m sick of other people telling me what’s best for me,” you grumbled irritably. “I already know about the piano. Well, kind of.”
Jungwoo’s entire attitude flipped on a dime. Glancing across the hallway twice as if he was preparing to cross a road, he dropped his items on a cart and spoke softly, “Follow me.”
Obviously, you were confused, but you didn’t dare disobey. This might’ve been your only chance at getting closer to the truth.
Jungwoo led you to a door hidden behind the stairway with a big sign warding off intruders, though it was locked, as to be expected. This family apparently couldn’t afford to take any chances. With what, you had no clue.
Strangely enough, Jungwoo had a key and wheeled his cart inside of the room after it clicked open. You curiously trailed behind him once he locked it behind you, wanting to know all there was to learn about this place.
There was a chain to your right and Jungwoo tugged on it, watching the lights barely flicker on. It was dim and empty, and though it was a test of your willpower, you fought off your nerves and remained unbroken.
Narrowing into a hallway, the entrance seemed to go on for a hundred miles and a half. Your footsteps bounced off every wall and the sound made you nervous. Of course, Jungwoo would never in his life knowingly lead you astray and you chose to have faith in the belief that he’d never bring you straight to danger.
But it made you wonder. If you recalled correctly, Giselle mentioned something about scratching in the walls. Your understanding of architecture was limited, but this place had to be built in between other parts of the castle.
Weird, you whispered to yourself, rubbing your arms. It seemed that the deeper you went down this hallway, the colder the air got.
“Watch your step. It’s creaky,” Jungwoo warned, leaving his cart in the hall. You glanced around him to see what he was talking about and that was when you noticed another set of stairs.
You shook your head and cursed, “Pardon my language, but Jesus Christ - how deep does this shit go?”
Jungwoo chuckled. “Too deep, ma’am.”
You had no strength to tell him to drop the titles. This was a few conversations far from your first encounter with Jungwoo and he respectfully declined each of your suggestions for him to call you by your name.
The floorboards did indeed creak as you stepped down them and the sound couldn’t have been any more unnerving. You appreciated Jungwoo dutifully walking in front of you as if he was defending you with his life. Not that there was anything down here to jump out and get you.
You hoped.
Whatever disaster of a room that you just walked inside of was far from what you expected this staircase to lead to, though you weren’t too sure. At the end of the seemingly never-ending hallway was nothing but a pile of junk. If you were being frank, it looked like a bunch of hungry wild animals had a field day. Things had been tossed. Almost as if a fight of some kind had unraveled here.
It was a hot mess. The place looked a solid minute away from crumbling in on itself, and that was you being generous. Your arm hairs were standing at attention now. You took one good look at the barrels just shy of you, noted the temperature, and pieced together why.
“It’s… a cellar,” you said, noticeably disappointed.
“It was a cellar,” Jungwoo told you, glancing around and wrinkling his nose. “This room hasn’t been used for at least a decade.”
Voice dripping with sarcasm, you deadpanned, “You don’t say.”
“Oh, I say.”
Your lips parted and the room echoed with your laughter. You were very grateful that Jungwoo made you laugh, because it helped you forget how anxious everything about your surroundings made you. “Why?”
Jungwoo outwardly processed every emotion and confusion was the most expressive of the plenty. “Pardon?”
“Why did you bring me here?”
Jungwoo stepped forward, inspecting the walls as if he was checking for damages. And there were many. “Because I have something to tell you that I can tell nobody,” Jungwoo said, his usually chipper tone borderline stern. “But first I need you to tell me what you know.”
Those weren’t exactly inviting words, but it was Jungwoo. You could trust him. Or maybe you wanted to, at least, but you couldn’t even trust Jaehyun. You confessed, “Assuming you mean the piano, it’s nothing much. But I know it’s connected. To the sounds I hear at night, I mean.”
“Oh, the walking. And the whispers,” Jungwoo said like it was the most normal thing in the world.
You shook your head in disappointment. You weren’t fucking crazy and Jaehyun’s family wasn’t going to trick you into thinking that you were. “I knew I wasn’t the only one.”
Jungwoo’s tone was only slightly accusatory, “Jaehyun doesn’t know that you’re investigating.”
You frowned. He was a little too good at this. “You didn’t phrase that like a question.”
“There’s no way that he would let you get this close.”
“It’s been justified,” you huffed, irritated. All this secrecy and suspense was killing you. You just wanted to get to the heart of… whatever.
Skeptical, Jungwoo’s head was tilted. His loyalty was in you, but also the heir. “Has it?”
You donned your most assertive voice and reasoned, “Jaehyun is obviously keeping something from me. Things that keep me up at night for hours. I refuse to continue my life in such a manner. It’s an eye for an eye.”
Jungwoo listened to your rant and agreed that your actions were justified. Thus he would be keeping this between the two of you. With a nod, Jungwoo replied, “Okay, I understand.”
You nodded. “Good.”
“But I also understand the prince.”
Your eyes darted to Jungwoo.
Before you could part your lips to speak, Jungwoo added, “Because once you know the truth, it spreads and festers like a wildfire. If you let it, it can consume you. That’s why I hate that you know this.”
“I don’t know anything,” you grumbled.
“Jaehyun’s grandfather used to own that piano in his bedchamber,” Jungwoo started, passing down what only moments ago he thought was useless info.
“Yes, I know. Jaehyun told me.”
“Yeah, well, his grandfather was extremely territorial with the piano,” Jungwoo said hesitantly. “If there was a problem, he cleaned it himself. Mended it himself.”
You were yet to understand what that had to do with anything. “Sounds like he just didn’t want anybody touching his stuff.”
“That’s what my dad thought, but apparently anybody who touched it either died mysteriously or disappeared without a trace soon after.”
Your expression shifted from confused to painfully perplexed. “That’s foolish.”
“I told you that my father worked here. He thought it was rubbish. Then, one day after leaving to clean that very bedchamber, he never came back home,” Jungwoo said, willing himself to keep it together. After so many years, grief was a nonfactor. Despair was channeled into anger.
“Jungwoo…,” you trailed, choosing your words carefully. You knew what it was like to lose somebody. “Are you sure?”
Jungwoo’s eyes were sharper than you had ever seen them. You never knew such an easy-going guy was harboring so much pain. “I’ve been told that because I’m grieving a loss, I’ll believe anything for closure. I don’t agree. There’s something fishy going on and unlike the others, I’m not afraid to admit it to myself.”
“This is a lot,” you told him.
Jungwoo nodded, wholly aware. “True, but it doesn’t stop there. Did you know that Jaehyun had an older brother?”
Your shoulders stiffened, because you recalled mentioning that Jaehyun was an only child yesterday, and he became deflective. “No, I didn’t.”
“Yeah, four years older. Apparently, he died after falling out of a window.”
You grimaced. “He commited suicide?”
“So the story goes,” Jungwoo answered, but his tone said loud and clear that he didn’t buy it for one goddamn minute. “And get this - he fell from the window of his grandfather’s bedchamber.”
Scratching the back of your head, you asked skeptically, “How come the public didn’t know about the first-born son?”
Jungwoo snorted. “I had a feeling that you would ask. The royal family waits five years before announcing the birth of their children. Isn’t that convenient?”
“Almost too convenient,” you mumbled under your breath. If Jaehyun’s older brother died just shy of five years old, that would’ve simplified the process of covering up his death.
Jungwoo glanced over at you, aching. And maybe a little desperate. “Do you believe me?”
A tiny sigh escaped your mouth and you planted your palm on your forehead, overwhelmed by the load of information that was just dumped on you and unsure what to do with its weight. “If what you’re saying is true, this is dangerous,” you replied levelly.
Jungwoo huffed, “You’re telling me.”
“But Jaehyun and I have touched the piano on several occasions. I play it every night just so that I don’t have to hear those godawful noises,” you added, hesitating. “Shouldn’t I be dying?”
Jungwoo fell silent for a sudden, mulling something over. Then, he said quietly, “There is another possibility...”
“What?”
“Perpetuity,” was Jungwoo’s response, voice quieting even though only you were there to hear him. “This one I’m not so sure of. The rumor is that if you touch the piano, you meet one of two fates. Death at your hand, or being condemned to your worst nightmare. It sounds like bullshit.”
His confidence seemed to waver, but you were interested. You were driven by a determination to discover all there was to know about this godforsaken place. “How exactly is one condemned to their own nightmare?”
“Your deepest fear will become your ultimate fate,” Jungwoo explained, wrapping his arms around his torso. “Your worst nightmare will come to life. And you’ll live it everyday until you die.”
You devolved into nipping cold shudders. And it had little to nothing to do with the basically subzero temperature of the room that you occupied. Of course, Jungwoo didn’t mean literal nightmares, but it didn’t help that not too long ago you were being haunted by bad dreams.
Your worst fear was living the same day for the rest of your life. Adventure was your natural instinct and curiosity was your vice. It’s what you stood for and a part of yourself that you refused to negotiate. You could’ve had every dollar that the world had to offer, but you would never gamble away your freedom.
Thankfully, this life gave you more than enough. So what you were expected to be beautiful and ladylike when people had their eyes fixed to you. Did it matter? That didn’t change that when there was nobody there to judge you, you were liberated.
Because it had always been that way, ever since you were a kid. You knew that to some people your existence served one purpose. And you didn’t care. You got to be yourself in the solace of this gigantic palace.
At least for now. Freedom came with a sacrifice; your own sanity and peace of mind. And truth be told, you weren’t sure if it was a fair trade.
“I’ve been having these dreams,” you started, swallowing.
“What kind of dreams?”
“Bad ones,” you confessed, wanting to curl into yourself. Those dreams put the fear of god into you. “When the noises weren’t keeping me awake, these nightmares would take their turn. Jaehyun hunted me down in all of them. And I would wake up after he catches me.”
Jungwoo noticed that your voice was a little shaky and offered you a compassionate hand squeeze, saying, “It’s okay. They’re not real. Jaehyun wouldn’t hurt you.”
“I know, but…,” you trailed. “I had them repeatedly. Same dream, different night. The only other difference was that they would happen in another place. But they stopped after Jaehyun started taking me to play the piano before bed.”
Jungwoo stiffened. “That’s… convenient.” Like a lot of things here.
“I know,” you agreed, shaking your head. Just the thought of Jaehyun was making you tremble with anger. You knew he was secretive, but it felt like he was borderline lying to you.
Then again, Jaehyun didn’t deny that there was something that he was keeping from you. Instead of telling you cheap excuses of consolations, he admitted that there was something grave enough he couldn’t even confide in you about it. And you didn’t know if that was worse.
Things were beginning to appear increasingly more eerie. “Do you want to know why I took you down here?” Jungwoo asked quietly.
Bobbing your head, you shifted to give Jungwoo your undivided attention. Something about the vibes of this room put you off. You didn’t like it. You could sense that something heinous had occurred maybe in the very spot that you stood.
“The prince’s grandfather spent a lot of time down here.”
“Really?”
Jungwoo nodded. “Apparently, he flipped out one day and trashed the whole place. It happened a few days before he passed, so the story goes. Then, they relocated the cellar and closed this room off.”
That explains the mess, you thought to yourself. But not much else. “Why would they do that?”
“Like hell I know,” Jungwoo replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “My bet is that they’re hiding something. Which we already knew, but I get lost every time I try to figure out what it is exactly.”
“You aren’t the only one,” you droned, releasing a pained breath.
Jungwoo mustered a smile, but it was thin. “Well, if it’s quite alright, I would like to return to my duties, Your Highness.”
“Yes, of course. Thank you for everything. You’ve been a great help,” you said, bowing respectfully in gratitude.
Jungwoo mirrored your movement. “It’s been a pleasure,” he told you sweetly. “I can’t skip out on my daily responsibilities, but if you ever need me, say the word and I’ll come.”
After thanking Jungwoo again and him assuring you that you weren’t in any way indebted to him, you trailed him up the creaky stairs and headed your own separate ways.
The brightness of the hallway compared to the lifeless cellar made you squint your eyes and wobble towards the edge of the stairs as you took a moment to readjust. Your brain also needed a second to process the newfound information. Now you had more answers, but twice as many questions.
Maybe Jungwoo was right. Maybe knowledge wasn’t power; it was a burden. But you were already in too deep to quit looking.
Jaehyun was too preoccupied to accompany you to his grandfather’s former bedchamber tonight and thus you opted out of the visit altogether. Of course, you knew what would inevitably happen if you didn’t press those keys, but you had an aggressive curiosity to sate.
The piano and your dreams were related. You knew that now. But if one of the piano’s unpredictable fates was to prolong its victims' agony, how come it abated yours instead?
For half a second, you wondered if Jungwoo was really telling the truth. You wanted to believe him, you really did, but something came to you and whispered not to trust anyone.
Not even Jaehyun. Hell, especially not Jaehyun.
Pulling the blankets over his thighs, Jaehyun glanced over to you as he crawled into bed and asked, “Did you have a good day without me?”
“It was long without you,” you replied, plopping a glass of water at your bedside in case you got thirsty.
“I’m sure. What did you do?”
“A little bit of everything. I had the most wonderful dinner. I only wish you could’ve stuck around for dessert. The chef said he misses cooking in front of you.” It was only partly a lie. Your weakened appetite wouldn’t allow you to eat in spite of the full-course meals prepped for you.
Jaehyun was smiling at some passing memories of him tagging along with you to aggravate the chef with curious banter. Though you mainly did all of the talking. “That’s good,” he said, chuckling quietly in amusement. “Tell him that I’m sorry I wasn’t there to hush you.”
Rolling your eyes, you grumbled, “Whatever.”
Jaehyun's infectious laughter filled your ears again. “Goodnight,” he whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to your brow.
“Goodnight,” you said back, releasing a shaky breath. For all of a second, you forgot that you were mad at him. His arms felt safe. Like home.
This is your home now. A cool shudder wrecked through you. How Jaehyun could feel so dangerous but so inviting all at once was beyond you.
You sank to your bloodied knees, unable to withstand the cramp shooting its way up your calves. Your tireless sprinting left you with just enough strength to crawl behind a door, thanking god that it was unlocked and quietly pushing it closed.
The space was completely silent, save for your labored breaths that you endeavored to suppress. Jaehyun couldn’t have been too far. It was a blessing that you even managed to escape him.
For now. Something told you that he wouldn’t give up so easily.
Pure darkness suffocated you with its chokehold. You glanced up and searched desperately for a light source. Your surroundings were virtually invisible. Propping your hands on the door, you pushed yourself off of the floor and groped the wall for a light, finding a chain and tugging it impatiently.
It took a couple of tries for the lights to flicker on. The space around you was hardly any less dim, but at the very least, you could make out where you were.
“Darling, come back,” called out Jaehyun’s featherlight voice just outside of the door. “Let’s just talk. All I want is to talk.”
He was closing in. You never realized your heart could thump at this quick of a rhythm. You never imagined the day where you would be terrified for your life. Your eyes winced in pain as you moved along the cracked wall, but you couldn’t stop.
Shivers tensed your entire body as you descended down the hallway. Bare feet hit the cold naked floor, because you opted out of running in heels minutes earlier.
Jaehyun’s footsteps came louder, closer. You swore quietly to yourself, realizing that the lights might’ve shone under the door and given you away. But the harder you tried to move, groping the wall for purchase, the more tempted you were to cry out in excruciating pain.
And then the worst happened. The door opened, a fraction of outdoor light stretching down the hallway to where you stood.
Your heart screamed in panic and alarm. Fear was merciless. None of this was fair. Jaehyun could give chase for hours, and he would if it came down to it, but you were running on empty.
“Baby, I know you’re in there,” Jaehyun called out gently, yet menacingly altogether.
It took everything in you not to mutter, “Fuck,” under your breath as you tried to get further and further away from him, hoping and wishing that he wouldn’t follow you if you were quiet enough.
Taking in one deep inhale, you tried to stabilize your breathing, but after running halfway across the palace, your work was cut out for you. You walked inch by inch, careful with your motions in case your injured legs misstepped and you came to the ground with a resounding thud, and moved as soundlessly as you could.
To your shock, you came across a stairway. In spite of how strangely familiar it seemed, you didn’t know where it would take you, but there was absolutely no way in hell that you were turning back.
It was only down from here.
Except there was a problem. The stairs had no railing and you didn’t trust yourself to feel your way through without tumbling down to your doom. You dropped to the floor again, putting your back to wherever the stairs led, and began to descend.
Jaehyun’s footsteps let you know he was still there, easing his way down the dark hallway. You didn’t understand why he walked so leisurely, taking his time to capture you. Almost like he knew you wouldn’t get far either way.
Your feet passed one stair at a time, cautious. You didn’t want to make any noise, but that ship sailed when one of the stairs creaked loudly. They reacted unfavorably to too much pressure, whining in response.
Panic made your blood thump in your ear and you hoped that Jaehyun didn’t hear, but you gave up on that when he said, “Darling, I can hear you.”
With all hope gone, you scurried down the stairs, ceasing to care about how safely you got there as long as you still made it alive in the end. You didn’t focus on breathing. Only on getting the fuck out of here.
You kept glancing up the stairs just to make sure Jaehyun wasn’t too near until your foot touched a different cool surface and you knew you were at the bottom. When you turned around though, your terror only intensified.
There was no place for you to go. Nowhere for you to run. There were no other paths for you to take because the room was a dead end.
“Give up, baby,” Jaehyun said, finally at the top of the stairs. He was coming down, slowly but surely, and he was going to take you. “I’ve got you. There’s nowhere else for you to run.”
With every step he took down the stairs, you took twice as many backwards, wobbling towards a wall. Like there was some kind of secret passage that would save your life.
There was no use anymore. Jaehyun set his feet on the floor and grabbed you just as you tried to turn away from him, pulling you into his open arms. You never stood a chance. He was stronger than you. Faster than you.
“It’s all okay,” Jaehyun whispered as you sobbed, your back burning wherever his fingers attempted to soothe you. “We’re together now.”
Your body veered to life, jerking awake. Your eyes instinctively snapped to your legs, searching them for injuries, but at worst they looked slightly stiff.
The rest of you trembled. You knew this was going to come, but it felt worse than you remembered. With a quick glance to your left, you noticed that Jaehyun wasn’t there.
You didn’t know if it was really something that you should’ve thought twice about or if the circumstances were just naturally making you suspicious. Either way, you wanted to know where he was. After a long day of handling his responsibilities, he should’ve been unable to leave bed, and yet, his side of the bed wasn’t even a little warm.
Too cold for him to be in the bathroom. Too cold for him to take a quick trip to the kitchen for a midnight snack.
You impulsively decided to investigate and rose to your feet, putting your toes in your slippers and stealthing down the corridor. You didn’t know where to look, but it helped that you saw a light coming from just down the hall, and you followed it discreetly.
All it would take was one wrong move for Jaehyun to overhear your footsteps. There didn't seem to be anyone patrolling down this corridor, which was typical, because Jaehyun’s family usually had their guards stand outside the entrance doors.
That only meant that you had to be quieter. The door to Jaehyun’s office was wide open, inviting anyone to see what he was up to, but you didn’t want to make yourself known yet. You wanted to see who he was when you weren’t there.
Ignoring the formidable stares of the statues, you crept closer to Jaehyun’s private office, breathing solely through your nose. The same hallways you loved to cruise seemed so much scarier when the lights were off.
Finally, you approached the light, hearing chatter the closer you grew to the door. You attached yourself to the wall, peaking your head inside ever so slightly. But when you saw what was happening inside, you stifled a gasp.
Jaehyun was at his document-laden desk, looking far from exhausted, and he was sitting face-to-face with Jungwoo.
“Accordingly, I will have to take charge of the country a little longer and my parents duties will fall into my palms,” Jaehyun said, folding his arms across the desk.
Given that you were at an awkward angle, you couldn’t see Jungwoo's face, but you could hear the confusion in his voice, “I understand, Your Highness, though respectfully, I don’t see why you asked me here.”
“I’m requesting a favor.”
“May I know what it is?”
You shuffled to get a better glimpse into Jaehyun’s office, but scraped the floor with your heel in the process. You swore under your breath, hoping they didn’t hear you, and sensed your heartbeat quicken.
Jaehyun stiffened in his chair. “Did you hear that noise?”
“Well, this palace is infamous for them, but I’m afraid that I can’t say that I’m a victim of sound,” Jungwoo replied, cocking his head to trail his gaze where Jaehyun’s had fallen.
Your face tensed with confusion. Jungwoo didn’t hear the noises?
“That’s not what I meant,” Jaehyun said, standing from his seat to investigate.
At the sound of footsteps, you quickly tiptoed towards a nearby door, pushing it open and squeezing yourself between hardware supplies. It was a tight fit, but you only focused on avoiding Jaehyun.
He glanced around both sides of the hallway, as if he was preparing to cross a bustling road. There was nothing. You were hiding in a closet merely a few feet away.
You exhaled a quiet breath of relief when you heard him retreating, but frowned when you heard the door close behind him. You were clueless. What did Jaehyun have to hide? And with Jungwoo of all people, you wondered.
Stumbling out of the closet and into the darkness, you crossed your arms. Jungwoo was one of the few people you found reliable here, but there was something he knew right now that you didn’t. You turned the corner to withdraw back to Jaehyun’s bedchamber, immediately jotting down a mental note to press him about it later.
When you came back to bed, you found yourself still nervous without Jaehyun beside you. And you rebuked yourself for it instantly after.
You didn’t realize it in your sleep, but the place where your dream occurred was the cellar Jungwoo had taken you to. Only darker. And with a soon-to-be king chasing you to the end.
You shook your head with a groan, deciding that you would catch some sleep. For whatever reason, you had a strange feeling that you’d be needing it soon.
To your shock, it was daylight when you rose again. Somehow, you actually slept through the entire night. The only sounds that jolted you awake were those of impatient knocks coming from the bedchamber door.
You exhaled grumpily and groaned, “Can I help you?”
“Good morning, Your Highness. Per your husband’s wishes, I’ve come to wake you for your schedule today,” came Jungwoo’s voice.
Your eyes snapped open. Glancing to your side, you noticed that Jaehyun wasn’t there, and wondered if he ever returned. “I wasn’t aware that I had anything scheduled for today.”
“It was arranged overnight.”
“May I ask what was arranged?”
Jungwoo answered, “There will be a dinner party this evening in the east wing in honor of His Highness’ grandfather. The staff will be coming to style you shortly.”
Huh, I didn’t know that his grandfather’s birthday was today. Then again, Jaehyun was very private. “Okay, thank you.”
“You’re very welcome.”
Before he could run off to take care of his other tasks, you called out, “Jungwoo?”
“Yes, ma’am?”
You considered asking Jungwoo about his encounter with Jaehyun the night before, but decided at the last minute that you didn’t need him to know that you had been there. “Nevermind. Thanks a ton.”
For a whole day, you were kept preoccupied in Jaehyun’s bedchamber with a number of women fixed to you. The hours were so busy that you barely had time to think about your ongoing crisis. And half of you wondered if it was deliberate.
At least for a minute, you did. With the corset throttling the life out of you, it was difficult to focus on anything else. You were grateful when they lessened the pressure on your organs. The dress was a sparkling royal blue, like you suspected the bulk of the guests attire would be. According to Jaehyun, it was his grandfather’s favorite color.
It took hours for the women to finish with your makeup and hair. When the final touches were added, it was rapidly nearing dusk. The sun would be retiring below the horizon and the moon would settle over you now, quietly watching.
Just after seven o’clock, an nth staff member came to escort you to the ballroom on the east wing. You were disappointed that Jaehyun hadn’t come, but sucked it up. Like you, he had most likely been preparing for the party. He must’ve had other roles to fulfill. After all, it was in honor of his late grandfather.
His parents were out of the country, too. You remembered overhearing him mention to Jungwoo that their visit had been extended for whatever reason.
In a nutshell, he was a busy man.
Most eyes fell on you when you entered the ballroom’s double doors. You greeted anyone nearby courteously and extended them a polite thanks for coming, as a princess should welcome her guests.
But your attention was quickly drawn to your husband. You were still mad at him, or at least part of you wanted to be, but he looked mighty fine in that royal blue suit and his dark hair slicked back to hell. Goddamnit.
“Jaehyun,” you said when you finally caught up to him, almost out of breath. He refused to stay in one place for longer than a minute, one-by-one mingling politely with the crowd.
“There you are,” Jaehyun said, appearing more than glad to see you. Then, he grabbed your wrist, pressing his thumb to your pulse with an arched brow. “Your heart’s beating fast. Did you run a marathon before you got here or something?”
“Or something,” you murmured, shaking your head. Your husband was light on his feet.
Jaehyun said to a server passing by, “Please get my wife something cool to drink.”
“Yes, immediately, Your Highness,” the servant replied, making a break for the kitchen.
In the meantime, you scanned your husband. Other than his sexy suit that had your mouth watering to hell and back, Jaehyun was sporting a beaming smile, grinning from ear to ear. He looked happier than usual, in a way.
“You’re giving me that look.”
You flinched. His voice broke your thoughts, but your eyes kept wandering; wondering. “What look?”
Jaehyun retorted teasingly, “The one that makes me feel like you’re going to eat me.”
You snickered. “It’s your grandfather’s birthday. He’d be turning in his grave.”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind as long as we had fun. My grandfather was big on milking a celebration for all that it was worth. He partied until his last breath,” Jaehyun joked.
That was delightful news to you. “I didn’t know royals knew how to really party.”
“Please. You should see my mother after three shots of vodka when there’s no camera rolling. She’s full of crazy.”
Your heart simpered. There was a lot you didn’t know and hadn’t seen about this family. Remembering the thought itching at the back of your mind, you wanted to mention how he wasn’t in bed last night, but didn’t know if it was a good time. Instead, you opted for a quiet, “You didn’t tell me your grandfather’s birthday was close.”
You expected Jaehyun to respond with something deflective, but it caught you off-guard when he replied honestly, “There’s a lot of things I don’t tell you.”
Your eyes shone with shock, but you played it off. “Like what?”
Jaehyun kept his eyes fixed to your face without a word, as if he was studying you before making his move. “Darling, If I told you all there was to know about me, we’d be here for days,” he finally said. “Maybe weeks.”
“I want to know you,” you whispered, something poignant in your voice.
“You do know me.”
The gleam in your eye shifted from sad to vicious, to coy. “Do I?”
Jaehyun nodded his head, gently smoothing a hand down the small of your back. “Yes, you do. I may not always lay my heart on the line, but deep, deep down inside, you know me. The real me, baby.”
Your eyes were staring into Jaehyun’s, like they were trying to forcibly peel back his layers and bare his soul to you, but it was all in vain. All you could liken it to was looking at someone with drunk double vision, your eyes deflecting two different images of him and your mind unsure of which one to trust.
Sometimes I feel like you tell me just enough to keep me satisfied. And then you feed me more crumbs when I start to get cranky, like giving a bottle to a baby.
“That drink you wanted, sir,” came a manly voice from beside you.
“Thank you,” Jaehyun replied politely, handing you the glass of water.
You accepted it gratefully, although your thirst was no longer for anything tangible. Nothing that you could touch with your bare, naked hands. It was for something deeper.
Only a couple seconds later, Jaehyun said, “Well, I’d better get going.”
Your eyes went wide. “You aren’t staying with me?”
“I have some more guests to greet and then a speech to give, and then I should be all yours,” Jaehyun told you, shooting you a consoling grin. “You look beautiful in that dress, by the way.”
Your lips spread into a tired smile. “Thanks. I’ve been wearing it all day.”
Jaehyun snorted and gave you a final pat on the back of reassurance before stepping away.
The party seemed to drag on without Jaehyun near your side and you were irreparably bored. You chatted with some guests with a polite set of white teeth ready to flash, but only because it was the expectation. Sneaking a couple of peeks at Jaehyun, it looked like he was still making his rounds.
Usually, the king and queen would help, but they obviously weren’t here. Thus, it was Jaehyun’s problem. He couldn’t just leave his own grandfather’s party unattended. That wouldn’t be in good taste.
You took a curious glimpse around and wondered how long you could disappear without anybody noticing. Probably only a couple of minutes. The whole ballroom would definitely know if you made a break for the double entrance, but if you slipped away through the kitchen, you had better odds.
With your glass of water in hand, you casually sauntered towards the little back hallway, hopeful your guests wouldn’t question your getaway.
When you entered the kitchen, you were immediately asked, “Where are you going?”
“Ten,” you gasped, a hand on your chest. He hadn’t even glanced up from his phone. You nearly dropped the glass of water. It had exhausted its purpose. “Would you ask that to a server?”
Ten retorted, “Would a server enter the kitchen with clacking six inch heels?”
“Touché,” you said. That explained how he knew it was you without even looking.
Ten was the only son of the family chef and he had no regard for the royal life. Well, that was debatable. Your in-laws would’ve thought he was disrespectful, had they (god forbid) ever met. You took Ten as someone unafraid to challenge the status quo. Of course, the two of you vibed. It was refreshing to talk to someone who didn’t remind you of your title every now and then.
Ten never, ever called you Your Highness. Not because he thought it was beneath him, but because he recognized your need for a friend. Not a follower.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“Just getting away for a second, if that’s okay with you,” you deadpanned, crossing your arms.
Ten gasped dramatically. “During the party in loving memory of your husband’s dead grandfather? That’s scandalous, babe.”
You scoffed. “Please. You’re not even at the party.”
Ten shot back, “I’m not married to the prince, either.”
Though you didn’t mean it at all, you snarled, “You make me sick.”
“You hate that I’m right,” Ten said boastfully, sporting a victorious grin.
“Yeah, whatever,” you grumbled. “Where’s your dad? I thought the stew was supposed to be out fifteen minutes ago.”
Ten shrugged. “Smoke break. I wouldn’t eat it if I were you. Gave me the business.”
You winced. “Jesus. Well, I’ll be back. I need some fresh air.”
“I’ll let the hubby know if he asks questions.”
“Thanks.”
Then, you were on your way.
The corridors were less dense than they typically were, though considering there was an event happening not too many feet away from you, you figured security was keeping a close eye on the hallway on the other side.
If you were being frank, you had no clue where you were going. You just knew that you couldn’t be in that room with all those people much longer. Maybe you were starting to realize that the royal scene wasn’t for you. Or maybe it was your heightened suspicion planting those thoughts in your head.
Whatever it was, you didn’t like it. You wondered if Ten would take you in. You had no idea what a day in the life of Ten Lee was like, but it wouldn’t hurt to find out. That was a nice backup plan.
But leaving Jaehyun would sicken you in ways more lethal than any deadly disease. And Jaehyun would never forsake this life in this castle.
It was a part of him.
You’re talking crazy, you hissed to your insane thoughts. Perhaps it wasn’t a great idea to leave you alone by yourself with nothing but your thoughts and the silence that fed them. You might’ve been better off finding a guest with ears prepared to be talked off.
The east wing was unfamiliar to you although much of it looked identical to the west one. When you somehow traveled back over to your side, it came to your attention that the gardens were nearby. Curious, you made a beeline for the doors, wondering if Giselle was out finishing up her obligations for the day.
Night had dulled the sky completely when you stepped onto the familiar stone paths. The moon was there in her full glory, round and curvy with a thin veil of mist overneath, and the stars were few.
The clacking thud that Ten spoke of was a telltale sign of your presence, but you didn’t see anyone there to warn. Instead, the sound grounded you in reality, keeping you as far away from your teetering thoughts as humanly possible.
Wind was the only other sound. Actually, that was a lie; you heard owls lurking somewhere in the distance and knew they were wide awake. A sign that the night had truly begun.
“Hello?” you called out. “Giselle?”
Silence. That was strange. These people usually worked from bright and early in the morning until unsettlingly dark and late at night, but of course, if Giselle had gotten off early, you couldn’t complain. Good for her.
You were prepared to turn away and disappointedly retreat back to the party when you barely noticed something out of place in the corner of your eye.
Blood.
You were a curious person by nature. But this wasn’t an inquisitive investigation. This was a precautionary measure to make sure that nobody was injured.
But what you saw made you physically nauseous, a stir settling in your belly instantaneously. Your first instinct was to scream at the top of your lungs. Giselle was sprawled out just shy of the ice cold stone, lying on her stomach in a thick pool of her own blood.
“Oh my heavens,” you exclaimed, paralyzed with shock. Or fear. Probably a little (or a lot) of both.
Given that there was a ladder pressed against a tall tree and pruners almost right near her body, you made the reasonable assumption that she’d fallen. The shock dimmed a little in order so that you could think, and you kneeled over to check her for a pulse, but came to the heart-stopping conclusion that she was dead.
You backed away from Giselle. Your heart ached for her, but you couldn’t touch a dead body. The smell of death was foreign and overwhelming and you didn’t know how to keep yourself composed. Finding your bearings, you did what any reasonable person would do after discovering a lifeless body.
You went to find help.
It looked like an accident, like she had taken a wrong step and made a fatal mistake, but that didn’t mean you could just leave her there to rot. Somebody still had to call the police. And an ambulance.
Tears blurred your vision as you ran back to the east wing. You couldn’t believe that Giselle was gone. You didn’t want to believe that. She never let you get too close, but you recognized Giselle for the hard-working woman she was that had her life all too suddenly ripped away from her.
Fuck, this shouldn’t have happened. Giselle divulged to you about how her family needed her. They survived off of her income, her grueling long hours of hot hard work.
Your mind couldn’t help but come to the worst possible conclusions. What if she knew too much? She was the first one to mention the piano to you and she seemed to be in denial about something.
No, that’s ridiculous. There’s no way the monarchy would kill a devoted worker for keeping their filthy secrets, especially from their newest addition. She’s been inadvertently doing them a favor.
Then again, someone was guaranteed to keep a secret if it died with them. Still, there was no evidence that her untimely death and the piano’s curse was even remotely linked together. You saw the scene yourself. It looked like an accident, not a crime.
That made you remember what Jungwoo told you in the cellar about the deaths and disappearances. About how anybody who touched the piano either died mysteriously or disappeared without a trace.
You had no way of knowing for sure if Giselle ever touched the piano, but if she was a victim of sound, as Jungwoo put it, that should’ve somehow placed a target on her back. And yours. You shuddered at the thought.
Spooky sounds meant contact with the piano. You had done more than touched it. You’d played it. Almost every night for weeks. Jungwoo mentioned to Jaehyun that he didn’t hear the sounds, but he never told you if he touched the piano, either.
But if his father had, then knowing what Jungwoo knew, you doubted that he would.
Whatever it was, nothing made it easier to cope. Pictures of blood kept flickering behind your eyelids whenever you blinked. Your sobs echoed off the hallway walls with your hurried footsteps, but noticing the double doors finally come into view, you tried to pull yourself back together.
You subconsciously sighed out in relief when you got there, but when you came to draw it open, the hands refused to budge. “Fuck!” you cursed out.
Not that anybody would hear you. There was music thumping beneath your feet even outside the door and it would’ve done you no good to knock. It was strange that the door was locked, though. Now that you thought about it, there also weren’t any guards in the hallways.
But there was another entrance through the back.
Ten, you thought, already running again. Your legs ached from sprinting in heels, but somebody needed urgent medical attention. And Ten had a cellphone.
The kitchen entrance luckily wasn’t too far from where you already were and you came prepared to charge through the doors, but those, like the others, were also locked. You started to bang tirelessly on the door, yelling with complete vigor, “Ten, open the door! Someone needs help!”
There was no answer. You tried to beat harder, to scream louder, but every effort seemed useless. With your voice turning hoarse, that glass of water you left inside the kitchen suddenly sounded tempting.
“What the fuck,” you grumbled under your breath, exhausted and confused and in shock. You needed to lie down, but you refused to rest until help was on the way.
Why would Ten suddenly leave? Dinner couldn’t have even been ready yet. You didn’t know why he tagged along with his dad sometimes, but you did know that they came and went in the same
vehicle.
There was a door just to your left, one that led outside where Ten’s father would’ve parked. You immediately made a beeline for it, curious if they were gone. It was the only way you could rationalize the locked door and Ten’s absence.
You hoped to see somebody out there, and you did, but they weren’t breathing.
The chef was on the ground where he usually took his smoke breaks, bleeding as if he was torn from every seam and had been ripped open from every angle. You gaped, fixing a hand to your mouth as you wobbled in surprise, gripping the nearest wall for purchase.
Turning away from him, you heaved for breath and tried to keep your stomach's contents inside where they were. But there was blood splattered everywhere you looked. And if you thought the stench was overpowering earlier, you were in for the wildest ride of your life.
This death said loud and clear everything that Giselle’s didn’t. This was no mistake. Matter of fact, this scene was so messy that it couldn’t have not been done deliberately.
“Oh my god,” you rasped, unsure of what to say. And what to do. Never had you seen a dead body outside of a funeral backdrop and having seen not one, but two very dead people was seriously wounding your ability to think.
All you knew was that something was fishy. You thought Giselle’s death was a self-inflicted mistake, but you weren’t so convinced anymore, all things considered. This was the second body to wash up, metaphorically speaking. And this one had been undeniably murdered.
There was a serial killer on the loose.
Your first thought was Jaehyun and you started to panic, but you consoled yourself with the reminder that he had an entourage of loyal servants to protect him with their lives and shield him with their bodies. He was okay. Giselle and Ten’s father, on the other hand, not so much.
Speaking of Ten, you still had no clue where he was or what he was doing. For all you knew, he could’ve been the killer.
No. There’s no way. Ten didn’t have a mean bone in his body, much less a murderous one. Plus, what would he have against Giselle?
And why would he kill his own father?
I don’t know. None of this makes sense. I don’t know why anyone would hurt Giselle or the chef, or anyone for that fucking matter, you huffed, angry. These people didn’t deserve to die. The person responsible would pay.
Unable to withstand the stench, you pinched your nose and turned for the door. Of course, it would be the only one unlocked. You had the misfortune of seeing what was behind lucky door number three.
Back in the halls, you only walked aimlessly. You had no idea where the fuck you were going and it was probably a terrible idea to be out and about with an anonymous blood-hungry murderer on the loose, but you weren’t thinking that far.
Images continued to flicker in your head. You wondered what were the last things these people saw before they died, if they knew what they had coming. And you realized what a shame it was that everything these people knew died the second they took their last breaths.
You couldn’t wrap your head around this happening. And you wanted to know why. With the chef’s murder, accidents were completely out of the window, and you thought about the piano again. But that made even less sense.
What business would the chef have with the piano? You doubted that man had ever strayed further than the dining hall.
Your thoughts traveled even further. Giselle was a gardener. The bulk of her work happened outside and there was hardly any need for her to come indoors when all the tools for her job could be found in the shed.
More than ever, you needed answers, and more than ever, they seemed impossibly difficult to come by.
The further you traveled down the hallway, the louder the sound of jagged breathing grew until it finally snapped you out of your biohazard of thoughts. You stiffened with alarm, body alert, and realized it might’ve been in your best interest to locate a useful weapon.
You ducked behind a corner, not wanting to be caught like a helpless damsel in distress if it was the killer (though only a lousy one would’ve been so noisy), but you heard a groan and knew in your heart that you recognized that voice.
Peeking around the corner ever so slightly, you noticed Ten clutching his stomach and clinging to a wall for dear life, sticky with hot sweat. And you discerned that he was no threat.
“Ten,” you called out, approaching him with concern. “What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?”
Ten shook his head, only barely keeping himself standing. You came to grab him and noticed he was burning up a thousand degrees, helping him slowly sit on the floor. “I told you. That stew gave me the business.”
“This isn’t just a stomach ache, Ten. I think you were poisoned,” you said, crouched down to be eye level with him.
Ten forced a smile even though he was clearly uncomfortable and in a lot of pain. “Yeah, you’re telling me. But my father was the only one controlling the food. He wouldn’t do that to me.”
The mention of his father made your shoulders stiffen. You scanned Ten’s face, wondering if you should’ve told him what you knew. If he was still alive by the end of this, he would find out one way or another. “Ten, have you seen your dad?”
“I know he’s dead.”
You cocked him a glance. “You don’t sound disappointed.”
“Do I sound like I’m in a lot of pain?” Ten asked.
“You sound like you’re trying to keep yourself whole.”
“That’s because I’m kinda dying here. I’m sorry if I’m bad at multitasking,” Ten hissed, paling on the spot.
Your gaze turned apologetic. “Listen, I’m sorry,” you whispered quietly, glancing around the hallway for suspicious onlookers. “I’ve found two dead bodies and I’ve been running all over the palace looking for help. Please, don’t be the third.”
“Trust me, I don’t wanna be any more than you want me to be…,” Ten trailed, wincing. “Holy fuck. Holy fucking shit. I’m gonna die.”
“Don’t say that!” you screamed.
Ten threw his head back and groaned, “Babe, I feel like my guts are being ripped open, and not in a good way.”
You wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Ten was good at keeping the mood as light as it could be as he literally died right before your eyes. And there was nothing you could do to save him. You felt helpless.
“We’ve got to find help,” you told him, grabbing his hands in yours.
Ten shook his head. His skin was glistening with a thick layer of sweat and each of his breaths sounded labored. “I can’t move. The room feels so hot. I think I’m gonna pass out.”
He looked like it, too. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes, but you fought them back. At the very least, if Ten was going now, he wouldn’t go alone. “Ten, somebody did this to you. You already said your father wouldn’t. Somebody else had to be in the kitchen.”
Ten shrugged weakly. “So many people went in and out of the kitchen. I don’t even know their names. It could’ve been anyone.”
You released a shaky breath. That answer helped no one.
Ten’s eyes started to flutter and you shook him in your arms, begging, “No, please don’t close your eyes on me. You’re a fighter. Fight.”
“I’m fighting,” he whispered, voice on the verge of silence. “But sometimes we just lose.”
“I can’t lose you, too,” you cried, trembling as you held him. For as long as he was there, breathing and talking to you, you wouldn’t let him think that he was alone.
Ten shook his head. You knew he had given it his all, because Ten wasn’t the type to go down without a fight, even if he didn’t win in the end. He’d never let someone else claim a peaceful victory. “If I die right now, I want you to know it’s been a pleasure knowing you.”
“Ten…,” you said. Tears made your eyes burn now. You were clenching your fists so hard his hands were probably sore.
“They might come for you. Don’t surrender. Whoever this guy is, you give them hell until you can’t anymore.”
A lone tear finally slipped past your cheek. “What if I don’t make it?”
“Then you die knowing you did absolutely everything you could to stay alive,” Ten whispered with the last of his strength.
Your heart was bursting with sadness and unadulterated rage. To watch somebody in their final moments was different than imagining it unfold. This made it even more real. This was a picture you would never forget even in death.
Finally, Ten’s strength gave out, and you lingered there for a minute even after. Your thumb pressed to his wrist and you noted that he still had a weak pulse.
You nodded your head. That was enough for you. But you had to find help immediately.
And you absolutely had to find out who was responsible for this. They would have a brutal punishment.
You wiped the tears from your eyes and started to run again, but you didn’t get far before you collided into Jaehyun’s chest, and you released a breath of relief when you saw him. “Oh my goodness, Jaehyun. Thank god it’s you. I’ve been trying to get help for ages. Two people are dead and I think Ten’s on his way out.”
Jaehyun’s voice was unbothered. “Really?”
You realized then that the night was far from over.
You pulled back, suspicious. You just told him that two people had died in his castle. He should’ve been fuming. “Why do you sound so nonchalant?”
Jaehyun’s lips were in a line. “I warned you not to go looking too deep. You should’ve listened like a good girl.”
The realization was starting to settle in, but you didn’t want to know the truth. You didn’t even want to fathom it. For so many weeks, you’d been unknowingly wallowing in ignorance. “This is your fault. You did this, didn’t you?”
“Yes. All of it was me,” Jaehyun said, like he was proudly boasting about his murders.
You shook your head. You knew there was something going on, something that your husband was at the heart of, but not like this. “Ten’s dying.”
Jaehyun looked and sounded completely indifferent, “Okay, that’s dramatic. He shouldn’t be dead. He’s in for a solid nap, though. And a concussion if he hit the ground too hard.”
That didn’t happen. You had been the one to personally lower Ten to the ground. Either way, you were none too pleased. You weren’t sure if that was supposed to be reassuring, because Jaehyun’s tone was empty and his face was borderline inscrutable.
Your whole body felt weak. The room was spinning. Your own body was on the brink of collapse.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Jaehyun commented, studying your appearance. You probably looked like you had actually run a marathon.
“You’re a monster,” you snapped, brimming with loathing and hatred.
Jaehyun didn’t flinch. “It’s been said,” he told you, like it was only a regular insult to him.
You shook your head. This couldn’t be happening.
Jaehyun took a step closer to you, and you took twice as many back. You wanted to be nowhere near him. This wasn’t the Jaehyun you knew. He was cold. Alternatively, maybe this was the Jaehyun you’d known all along, the one you’d tried to suppress.
Your mind was showing you the warning signs. She was giving you all the right signals. And yet, you were blind to each of them.
Jaehyun tilted his head, looking at you with fucking nothing. There was nothing in his eyes. Nothing on his face. “Do you believe in happy endings?”
“Not with you in it,” you seethed, convulsing with a newfound anger you never thought you could possess, much less direct towards your husband.
Jaehyun snickered for the first time since you’d last seen him. “I’m giving you the chance to have yours.”
You glared at him, wary. “What does that mean?”
“It means that you have thirty minutes to leave this castle and have your happy ending without me, but if I catch you before then, you’re mine. It’s like hide and seek.”
You wanted to rage. This man had the audacity to play fucking games with you when so many lifes were gone and many more were probably at stake. There was no telling who else he’d hurt. “When do my thirty minutes start?”
“Right now.”
You left then and there. You couldn’t stand to be in proximity of Jaehyun for another fucking second. And he didn’t follow. He was letting you think that you had a chance.
When you turned the corner, safely out of his vision, you could finally acknowledge the beaten and battered condition of your heart. The look Jaehyun had given you only moments ago was unlike any other you’d ever seen. It was colder.
You should’ve seen it coming. Jaehyun was the missing piece. This was all happening because of his grandfather’s piano, for fuck’s sake. The same grandfather whose birthday happened to be today. Of course, it wasn’t a coincidence that bodies started dropping that same day.
You were angry. You were hurt. To be honest, you were just the right amount of everything. And yet, you were thinking about how madly you were still in love with Jaehyun.
Wincing your eyes closed, you wished that this was just a nightmare like everything else. That you would wake up in Jaehyun’s arms and he'd tell you that it was all a bad dream. Unfortunately, the longer the night went on, the more you accepted that that couldn’t be farther away from the truth.
The only real difference was that Jaehyun wasn’t right on your tail. He was giving you an opportunity to escape and free yourself from this hellhole once and for all. Your shoulders suddenly felt cold when you recalled something that he’d told you.
I would never chase you, Jaehyun had said. I will always have you right where I want you.
The statement made you feel uneasy then, but you overlooked it, because you wrongfully assumed that Jaehyun was harmless.
You shook the thoughts away. He wasn’t worth thinking about right now. Survival was your top priority and escaping was the only way you’d ever know peace.
The palace had a grand total of four entrances stretched across its acres - the main gate, the east entrance, the south entrance, and the west entrance. Only the east entrance was nearby. You knew Jaehyun wouldn’t have made this easy, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.
You hurried to the nearest exit leading outdoors and breathed only a little easier when you were met with the fresh, crisp night air. Given that you’d been running in heels for what felt like hours, you finally ditched them near a bush and started to run again.
Traveling to the gate would take forever without a car. The same could be said about the rest of the castle, far from tiny, and you only had thirty minutes on the clock.
You had to make every minute count.
You wanted to sob, but you focused solely on getting the fuck out of there. You hadn’t forgotten about Ten, but you couldn’t help him here. Jaehyun had apparently taken mercy upon him, sparing his life where he hadn’t hesitated to steal others.
Why? Was it some kind of reflection of control? Did he realize that Ten wasn’t the root of his need to kill?
Whatever that was.
“Too much is going on right now,” you whispered to yourself, heart thudding quicker.
For a second you wondered if the other staff you cared for was alright. These were people you saw everyday, working from dusk till dawn, and yet still treated you with respect and kindness. Their sweetness deserved to be spread, not eliminated and forgotten.
Giselle was gone and had no hope for revival, but as far as you were concerned, Jungwoo was still skipping around with a burden of secrets on his shoulder. Part of you couldn’t bring yourself to fully trust him, not after his disaster of a meeting of Jaehyun, but that didn’t mean he should’ve died.
Apparently, you and Jaehyun weren’t on the same page. The worst part was that you couldn’t even begin to fathom what he got out of slaughtering his employees like animals. You’d never been able to see inside his head.
The east gate came into view and you circled in on it, desperate to make an escape. You briefly considered the possibility of Jaehyun being nearby, potentially having taken a closer exit, prepared to hinder you by any means necessary.
But when the gate refused to budge like you feared, you came to the conclusion that he was definitely far away. Jaehyun was five steps ahead of you.
He had all of the advantages in this twisted game, you realized. Jaehyun grew up in this palace; he obviously had to know all of the ins and outs, every nook and cranny. It would take you, on the other hand, the entire thirty minutes to navigate from one end of the place to the other.
This game was never created to be fair. You remembered him showing you little shortcuts along the palace to make your trips shorter. If you wanted to survive, you’d have to fight for your life.
“Fuck,” you groaned under your breath. You had no way of telling for sure how much time had passed, but if you had to guess, at least ten minutes.
The sky was dark and mistier than it was earlier. At least it felt that way. The tears stinging your eyes made it even harder to see and you were inching closer to succumbing to the battle. If Jaehyun had rigged it from the start, you knew there was no way in hell you were getting out.
But Ten’s words rang out in your brain. He was alive for now, but as far as he knew, they could’ve been his final ones. And you knew you couldn’t give up yet.
Mustering the courage to continue fighting like Ten would’ve, you remembered something. There was an emergency exit near Jaehyun’s grandfather’s room. You didn’t care to know why. Bad things just seemed to happen when he was involved.
Without a second thought, you headed back inside. If you wanted out, you didn’t have a choice.
Your sanity fought for control against your pumping adrenaline and you came to accept that it wasn’t possible for both to coexist with each other. One or the other. And if you were up against a sicko like Jaehyun, you needed to fight fire with fire.
You had to degrade yourself to his level, meet him where he was at. You had to become you at your worst version. A hell-raising monster with a thirst for blood.��
There was a familiar ground nearby when you approached the door. The part of the garden you never wandered into, because it was the same place that godawful dream happened. With the pond and stone galore.
You quickly swiped a pitchfork, throwing it over your shoulder, and when you were finally through the door, started sprinting back down the hallways. The emergency exit was all the way in the west wing and you had less time than you would’ve liked to make it the hell out of there.
Every bone in your body ached, but you had too much to fight for. You didn’t even know what all was at stake if Jaehyun won, but you didn’t want to know, and you couldn’t sleep beside him at night anymore knowing who he was and what he’d done.
Turning each corner, you looked around for signs of a lingering Jaehyun before you kept going. Every hallway looked exactly the same as the one that came before it and it made you feel like you were walking in circles, impossible to tell if you were even going anywhere. It was thrusting you far past the brink of madness.
Minutes passed, but courtesy of the painful yet handy adrenaline rush, it felt like seconds when you found the west wing stairs. Taking the elevator would’ve been a quicker option, but if Jaehyun was nearby, he would know if the elevator was preoccupied, and you had no interest in playing russian roulette with your life.
But there was a familiarly pungent smell in the air.
You wanted to be sick when you saw the source. The others were messy, but this death was brutal in ways you had never witnessed. Jungwoo’s remains were perched on the stairs within a pool of nauseating blood, sitting in his own overkill.
His insides were definitely on the outside. Matter of fact, they were everywhere, decorating a number of steps. Jungwoo was savagely mangled and mutilated, similar to how a wolf would ravage an elk, like his killer wanted there to be little to nothing of him left.
“Jungwoo,” you gasped in shock, crouching down as your legs started to tremble.
His dead body was on display. Like the person who killed him wanted you to see what they’d done. And you couldn’t bring yourself to accept that Jaehyun was the reason why.
All the skepticism you had towards him devolved into regret. Of course, Jungwoo wasn’t to blame for any of the wicked stuff happening in the shadows. Like his father, he was a victim. And at the end of the day, like you, all he wanted was answers.
There was a weight on your chest and an unbridled rage spiraling inside your heart. “I’ll find them for you,” you whispered vengefully.
Then, you heard it. Scratching in the walls stretching near the stairway. In spite of the several claims of their existence, you’d never heard them until now. Soon after, you could’ve swore you heard a familiar voice.
Jaehyun. He was in the fucking walls?
Stepping around Jungwoo’s bloody corpse, careful not to step your bare feet in any stray specks of blood, you headed upstairs with a sparkling revolve keeping your blood pumping. The emergency exit was close.
It was actually right down the hallway. When you were walking from the bedchamber with Jaehyun, the journey felt longer, but you ignored every glare from those evil statues and came right in front of the emergency door.
After yanking the knob, it begrudgingly opened and you stepped inside without a moment of consideration. There was no time. Do or die.
The door closed behind you on its own terms. You just kept pushing. This was your only ticket to escape and though you weren’t exactly sure where the path led, you had no intention to stop and fret about your whereabouts. It was worth nothing though, that the deeper you came, the more it felt like a secret passageway.
The hallway didn’t look the way you pictured an escape route. The walls were accessorized with portraits and lights. And you couldn’t believe your shock when you saw it diverge into different paths like a crossroad.
This fucking was a secret passageway.
There was something else you noticed. Those scratches sounded closer than they had when you were outside, like somebody dragging their nails onto the walls as they walked.
“What the fuck?” you wondered.
You stiffened when you heard your husband’s voice, “Darling, is that you? Your thirty minutes are over.”
Nope. Silent as ever, you made for the other path. You were picking your battles.
Jaehyun was probably closer to the way out of here after all. He would’ve never given you a free opportunity. He was probably guarding the escape just in case you were clever (or lucky) enough.
His footsteps were slow. You couldn’t see him, but you could hear him, and he was in no particular hurry to catch you. You worried that you were walking into a dead end, but when you came out on the other side, there was another set of doors.
Your eyes flickered between them. You had time to waste before Jaehyun even got anywhere close to you, but you wanted to get ahead. After a moment of carefully contemplating, you made the nerve-wracking decision to go for the right.
When you stepped out, you found yourself right back where it all began. You were outside, but not as far as you would’ve liked. It was the gardens. You glimpsed around and saw the tree you wed Jaehyun under.
Though it had been full of white flowers the day you exchanged vows, promising each other eternity, they had unfortunately succumbed to the drier air.
“That was a fun day, huh?”
Your startled body jolted with alarm and the usual ease that filled you when you realized it was only Jaehyun behind you was nowhere to be found. He was the evil you’d been searching for, hiding in plain sight.
He had you fooled. He made you think that he was somebody he wasn’t. Worst of all, you believed him. You trusted him, completely and utterly. You were willing to give him all of you at the drop of a dime.
“Stay back. I’ll hurt you,” you threatened, posing the pitchfork in your sweaty hands.
Emotion flickered over Jaehyun’s face; amusement. “A pitchfork? That’s really medieval, don’t you think?”
Your tone darkened, “I’m warning you.”
Jaehyun stepped closer, leaving himself open and vulnerable. “Then, do it. I’m right here. I have no weapon,” he said, holding his hands above him.
Panic settled in. It occurred to you that your feelings for Jaehyun would never let you hurt him unless your own life was threatened, and for some reason, you believed that Jaehyun would never hurt you. He had all of the opportunities. Yet he had never a finger on you.
Plus you still needed answers. For yourself, and for the people whose lives were taken because of them. Tears stinging your eyes again and a shattering echoing out in your heart, you tossed the pitchfork aside and roared, “I hate you!”
“That isn’t true,” Jaehyun said, gentle and tender. His voice was loving, but his eyes were soulless. “You love me. I make you happy.”
You shook your head vigorously. “I’ve spent the past couple of hours in distress, all because of you. Why? What’s really going on, Jaehyun?”
“At the end of the day, the piano calls, and I answer. The responsibility skipped my father, but it’s what my grandfather did. I didn’t have a choice,” Jaehyun said, wholly convinced that this was some god-given obligation.
And you were having none of it. It was just excuses. “That doesn’t make sense. You killed all of those people because of a fucking piano?”
“This is why I couldn’t tell you. I knew that you wouldn’t understand. You have to live it to know.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” you seethed, stepping away from him.
Jaehyun didn’t follow. He was comfortable standing there and watching you, because he knew you had nowhere to run. “This isn’t a regular piano. It hands out curses like candy. It’s an entity and to prevent itself from being destroyed, it chooses its protectors.”
The whole world was spinning. Was he trying to tell you that the piano was alive or something?
“He was the chosen protector - my grandfather, I mean. Like I said, it skipped my father and went to me. The piano gives anyone that touches it one of two curses to protect itself. I only enforce that fate.”
The world around you was starting to blur. Jaehyun didn’t see those corpses as people. Instead, he saw them as curses that needed to be removed.
Standing required too much extra strength that you didn’t have. You stumbled and staggered, weakening by the second, and when you started to head for the ground, Jaehyun caught you in his strong arms. “Careful. You might get hurt.”
He was perfectly composed while everything as you knew it was falling apart, piece by fucking piece. Glancing into his eyes, you hissed, “What are the curses?”
“Hm?”
“You said that when someone touches the piano, they get one of two curses. What are they?”
“Death,” Jaehyun said as normal as ever. “Or perpetuity. They have to live their worst fear until the day that they croak.”
You didn’t think that you could get any angrier, but that didn’t even begin to describe the sharp pain heating your whole body up to hell. “You let me touch that piano, you encouraged me to, knowing I would immediately be cursed.”
Jaehyun saw where you were going with this and replied coolly, “If I knew you were going to die, I would’ve kept you away from it.”
“So you knew I would’ve been cursed with perpetuity,” you said in an accusing tone. “Meaning you knew my biggest fear.”
“I might’ve exploited my power. Your every nightmare revolves around me. You’re so scared of me it keeps you awake at night. I had to use that to my advantage. I can’t lose you.”
And there it was. The ugly truth on a silver platter. Jaehyun gave you the creeps and instead of trying to prove his innocence to you, he took advantage of your fear, making sure to create a reality where you would never be able to get rid of him for as long as you both breathed.
This was the end. Glancing at the tree where you exchanged vows only earlier this spring, you realized that everything pointed back to Jaehyun. It always had.
Pulling back from Jaehyun, because you couldn’t stand to touch him, you snapped, “You didn’t chase me, because you knew that in the end, everything led back to you.”
Jaehyun didn’t deny it, chuckling. Like he thought that he was clever. “Why would I chase you when I’ve already bound you to me?”
You physically felt weak and sick. You didn’t want to believe that Jaehyun had somehow manipulated your fate so that you couldn’t leave him. Your only escape was through death. Every shaky exhale you took ached.
Jaehyun continued, “That’s why your little dreams don’t make sense. It doesn’t matter how far or quickly you run away from me. I will always catch you without trying. I always get what I want and you’ll never slip through my fingers. You’re mine.”
At those words, you wobbled away, but it was more like a vicious drawback. “You killed Giselle and Jungwoo and Ten’s father. Why?”
Like he was incapable, there wasn’t a lick of remorse in Jaehyun’s voice when he replied, “I put Giselle out of her misery. She had the perpetuity curse. No matter how hard she worked, she was going to be doomed to her worst nightmare for the rest of life - dying poor. I only made it happen sooner. It was quick.”
You felt like regurgitating yesterday’s lunch the longer this conversation happened, but you held it back.
“Jungwoo had it coming. He didn’t have the curse, unlike his father, but it was obvious that he had a thing for you and it was disgusting. I honestly did him a favor. He doesn’t have to live in pain anymore.”
Had a thing for you? You never got that vibe from Jungwoo. He was polite and respectful, and you treated him likewise. You never thought you would get a man killed for his manners.
“And the chef,” Jaehyun began, pleasure flickering onto his face for the briefest of seconds, but you swore it was there. “He was just practice and a victim of opportunity. It’s been a minute. I’m rusty.”
“You killed him for no reason,” you spat.
“It appears that way.”
Your body recoiled with every unpleasant feeling it had to offer. “You killed Jungwoo for no reason, too. He was just a nice guy,” you said through gritted teeth.
It was like the angrier you got, the calmer Jaehyun stood, taking every one of your metaphorical hits like they were a gentle nudge to the shoulder. “I killed him out of love for you. He wanted what was mine. I had to remind him of his place. He was a nobody.”
Turning away, you decided that you couldn’t look at Jaehyun any longer. You couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. You were upset and disappointed and everything in between.
Jaehyun’s eyes were fixed to that goddamn tree. “I had no feelings for you at first. Marrying you was just another duty I knew I had to fulfill for my country. It was business. But then we started to get to know each other, and I fell for you.”
“I had feelings for you too,” you croaked, voice shaking with pain.
Jaehyun was quick to add, “You still do. Don’t you see what I did for you? I turned you into royalty.”
“I never fucking asked you to,” you screamed off the top of your lungs. Letting the whole palace hear you for all you cared, if anybody was still alive in there. “I married you because it was what my parents wanted. I just happened to actually like you for a minute.”
“You’ll come around,” Jaehyun said nonchalantly, unfazed by your aggression. “You’ll realize that you were made for me. And you’ll accept that our love was written in the stars.”
There were no stars when you glanced into the night sky. Not even a sliver of the moon. Even she was too ashamed of what was happening under her nose right now and couldn’t bear to witness it unfold.
But it dawned on you then. The only time you would ever see the moon and her stars again was if you stepped onto the grounds of this very garden. Jaehyun had caught you. You waltzed straight into his trap and now you had to reap what you’d sowed.
You were his. Whether you liked it or not. You might’ve not ever given up on escaping him, even if it took a lifetime, but for right now, Jaehyun had won.
“Let’s go, baby,” Jaehyun said, wrapping an arm around your waist. You shuddered. His hands were cold to the touch. “It’s late. We should get ready for bed. We have to stop by the piano so that you don’t have bad dreams.”
The walk to Jaehyun’s grandfather’s bedchamber was quieter than it had ever been. You kept him at arm’s length, ashamed. And maybe a little fearful.
And there the piano stood in its glory when the door opened, untouched and unmoving. She was evil as ever, wallowing in her curse. Your fingers ran across the keys as the curse wrecked through your blood, present and constant.
“I’ll never forgive you for this,” you whispered, glancing up at Jaehyun.
For the first time in a minute, Jaehyun smiled. He replied sweetly, “Darling, it’s okay. You’ll understand soon. We only have each other now.”
You didn’t want to know what that meant. Instead, you pressed your fingers to the bitterly cold keys, squeezing your eyes closed as you played a melody by heart.
Finally, tears started to fall down, gathering on the keys. Then, you realized that you weren’t a victim of sound, but an indulger. Your body was there, but your mind was with nature. With the blowing wind and gentle breezes, the rippling water and swimming critters.
Your mind was with your friends. With Giselle in the garden, helping her trim branches and plot plants for the queen. With Jungwoo, exploring new places around the palace that you never knew existed. With Ten, rambling about anything and everything under the sun.
You escaped through every harmonious noise, fingers pacing ruthlessly, and keeping your eyes closed as you pretended that everything was okay.
Jaehyun came behind you, resting his head on your shoulder while his arms came around you again. His touch was familiar and though it used to keep you whole, when you sat there, defenseless and helpless, you could feel a piece of you break off and die in his arms.
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A soulmate AU: Steve Harrington x fem!reader [5.9K]
THE TIMELINE
"Oh no, you know you know I'd be lying if I said I wasn't dying,
For someone I could die for, someone I could try for
Fall apart and cry for, go 'head, risk my life for."
-Someone I Could Die For by Lewis Capaldi
II. ROME, ITALY: 49 BC
The roar that came from the bowels of the Colosseum never became easier to hear.
The noise seemed to make the city shake, the streets empty, the market stalls abandoned in favour of bloodshed. The games took place in the summer, when the skies were an endless blue and there were no clouds to tamper down the climbing heat. The sun bore down on the sandy pit of the enormous Amphitheatre and the seats were filled, the doors that had already been closed still surrounded by regretful stragglers who were forced to listen to the chaos from outside of the walls.
Fourteen men had died already, three from the jaws of the lions, two from the bears and eleven from the swords of other imprisoned slaves. The cheering from the crowd made your stomach curl. The floor of the stage was covered in red, the sand streaked with spilled blood and the animals that were bullied back into their cages had their jaws tinted pink.
It wasn’t a joyous occasion, no matter how many people celebrated in the name of their emperor. The leader of Rome was sitting mere seats away from you, dressed in ruby robes that were slung like a cloak over his white toga and his laurel crown glinted with golden beads that sat tucked into the olive wreaths. He was drunk on wine and violence, and your father sat next to him in the royal box, ever eager to please as he clinked his chalice against his kings.
Being the daughter of Rome’s most beloved senator certainly had its positives. You were dressed just as finely as the royalty around you, the fabric that was made to fit your frame swept to the floor and only yesterday, the emperor’s cousin had gifted you a necklace made of the finest gold, inset with glittering emeralds, pretty enough for a princess.
The same cousin smiled at you from across the row, each seat in the royal box made from plush velvet, the high backs ornate and cushioned, unlike the stone carved benches the rest of the civilians were sitting on. You smile back, uneasy but polite, and your father nodded approvingly.
You were expected to marry, you knew that much. You were already considered too old to be unwed and you knew the rest of the court whispered about how you would now struggle to bear a child. But the man that was expected to be your husband wasn’t who you loved. He wasn’t unkind, he wasn’t cruel - not like you’d heard men could be. The girls in the kitchen would tell you stories of how their husband made demands. Shouting each night for their meals, their baths, how their shirts weren’t stitched right, how their beds would lay cold because their wives were too tired.
Some men visited the bath houses, you knew that much. Seeking out a lupa for the night, the ladies that were called she-wolves, with their painted lips and robes that showed so much skin. Some men decided that they didn’t need to listen to their wives at all, you were once told, horror etched on your face. Some men took what they thought they owned.
So no, the emperor’s cousin seemed kind enough. But you weren’t in love with him. You weren’t sure who you were in love with. A dream, perhaps. One that kept returning to you from a young, young age. A dream about a different town, one you’d never been to before. But in your sleep, it felt like home. White buildings and green gardens with tall, tall trees and pretty, ornate gazebos made of stone on the edges of shallow ponds. You were by the sea there, a blue-green ocean that seemed so calm.
Sometimes monsters came, the marble statues that guarded the city came to life and turned your dream into a nightmare. There was always fire and fury, storm clouds and too big waves and a man with skin the colour of death would try and take your hand. But even when the dream turned bad, there was always someone else.
A man, with a blurry face and a mess of almost too long hair. It hid his eyes from you and you could never make out too many details but you burned when you looked at him, you could weep when he touched you. Sometimes he led you through the burning town, his hand clasping your own as you both tried to run and run and run.
Other times, you lay in a bed with him, skin bare and your head on his chest as he murmured the sweetest poetry to you, words that made your heart race. Your dream was encased in white linen sheets, a hazy, soft light that always made it look like early morning and when the man’s lips met yours, you always woke up.
Him. You loved him.
You hadn’t been in love before, but whenever you dreamed of the stranger, you were sure that must have been what love felt like.
“Have some grapes, darling,” your thoughts were interrupted by your father as he thrust a plate of fruit and cheese under your nose.
But the fifteenth gladiator was being dragged through the gates by the armpits, a clawed hammer still sticking out from his chest and your insides turned over at the idea of eating such sweet treats as blood poured from the men in front of you. The emperor’s box was almost nauseatingly close to the fights.
You shook your head before you remembered your manners, smiling politely and murmuring, “I’m quite alright, thank you.” You blew out a breath, shaky and faint.
From your other side, one of the young girls who had been gifted to you on your sixteenth birthday waved a giant fan. A large peacock feather, a huge plume of colours that merely wafted the too warm air back and forth but you smiled your thanks at your lady in waiting, a pretty girl who’d turned into a prettier young woman. She was small and lithe, angular in the face with curls that came to her sharp jawbone and she smiled back.
Nancy, as she’d introduced herself to you a week after she’d arrived at your fathers house, from the Wheeler family of Liguria. She didn’t like the gladiator fights anymore than you did, always murmuring about the rights of the animals and how inhumane it was later in the night as she drew you your bath.
“—from Verona,” your father was saying with a mouth full of provolone. “One of their best, so they say, His Majesty simply had to have him.”
You blinked, frowning in confusion at your fathers words. You hadn’t been paying attention in the slightest and nothing you’d caught made any sense. “Sorry?” You grimaced apologetically and took a few pomegranate seeds from the plate of food in apology for your rudeness. “Who is from Verona?”
Your father rolled his eyes, a sure sign that you’d be lectured in his study later for your lack of respect. “The next gladiator, child.” He gestured to the stage where the soldiers were locking the gates to the tigers, each big cat growling with menace when the men came too close to the bars. “They say he’s unbeatable. Our Highness offered a more than generous helping of coin for his papers but Verona’s general didn’t seem to want to part with him.”
You frowned again. The crowd seemed to be aware of this man and his presence, murmuring and shifting in their seats in anticipation. “If that is the case,” you prodded. “Then how is he here? If the gladiators… owner—” the word left a terribly bitter taste in your mouth and you felt heavy with guilt when Nancy’s fan brushed your shoulder. “If his owner didn’t want to sell him?”
Your father snorted, an unattractive sound that made Nancy wince beside you. “No one tells the emperor of Rome ‘no’, dearest.” Your father shrugged. “The gladiator cannot be owned, if his owner is dead.”
Bloodshed. Always bloodshed.
A man came from the east side gates with chains around his ankles and wrists. You couldn’t quite see him for your seat, not yet, but the crowd above and around you roared, eager for the final fight to begin. The man already looked beaten and tired as soldiers stepped forward to unlock his manacles and you sat forward in your seat for the first time since you entered the Colosseum that day.
He had messy hair, dark brown and hanging just past his chin. It was already damp looking, matted and dirty from being kept god knows where as the emperor's new toy. He was shirtless, his body lean but corded with muscle. He had wide shoulders and a lithe waist, powerful thighs and skin that was tanned from the sun, a sure sign he spent too much time outside, training hard in the Italian heat.
As he moved closer to the middle of the stage, you saw the marks on his body, leftover scars and new slices in his flesh that still looked viciously red. The crowd got louder as a sword was thrown at his feet, a large, heavy looking thing with a bronze handle. Some cheered for the new warrior, hoping for some excitement, while others jeered and booed, already too attached to their darling reigning champion.
The gladiator picked up his sword and the crowd became wilder still, but he gave them no mind. He didn’t put on a show like some of the others, he didn’t flex his muscles or raise his weapon like it was already a prize. His leather loincloth was a deep wine colour, the tan leather pleats looking far from newly made and the material was already streaked with blood and dirt before his first opponent arrived.
Your heart felt heavy for him, as it did for all the others who were forced into the Colosseum - prisoners, slaves and animals alike. You watched the gladiator flex his wrist, testing the weight of his weapon just as the gates in the west cranked open.
Rome’s current champion strode out from the shadows and into the bright sun, his bare chest glinting with sweat and Hargrove held his hands aloft, grinning as the crowds went insane. He beat his chest, his long blond hair pulled back into a ponytail and when he was handed his own sword, he wasted no time in running towards the new fighter, the steel blade glinting.
You gasped, moving closer still to the edge of your seat and you couldn’t find it in you to bear much mind to the looks your father and Nancy shot you. It wasn’t like you to take such an interest in the sport, never mind be so heavily invested. You didn’t like to watch the wounded, preferring to close your eyes when the screams began, hiding cowardly behind Nancy’s fan when the blood turned the sandy stage pink and red.
But this new gladiator, he was fast.
He dove at the last second, dodging the tip of Hargrove’s blade and he rolled towards the section where you sat. Dust kicked up from the move, his sword tearing into the wreaths and sashes that hung from the Emperor’s box. You grasped the edge of the wooden frame, peering over the side and down to the stage, hoping to not see blood already.
Instead you found the gladiator looking back up at you, his sword still in his grasp and when his eyes met yours, they widened. Something like recognition hurtled through you, a feeling that sucked the breath from your lungs and you felt dizzy, like lightning itself had struck you from the sky. You thought the man perhaps felt the same, a frown on his face telling you that he felt just as confused as you did.
But before you could consider where on earth you could have possibly seen his face before, Hargrove attacked again, bringing his blade down to where the gladiator's shoulder should have been, if he hadn’t rolled once again.
You were on your feet now, the stares of your father be damned. Your eyes were wide, your heart beating far too fast, like you yourself were on the stage, being hunted for sport. Wood splintered into the space under your nails as you watched the man run, his muscles pumping, his eyes narrowed.
“Darling, are you quite alright?” Your father placed a hand on your arm, more confused than concerned.
“Yes, I just— yes.” You cleared your throat and sat down again, albeit back to the edge of your chair. You could feel the rest of the royal party staring at you. “Where did you say the man was brought from? The new gladiator?”
“Harrington?” One of the Emperor’s councilmen interjected. He pointed a pudgy finger at the brown haired gladiator, who was now swinging his sword with as much power as Hargrove. “Steven Harrington of Verona, best of his breed I heard. His general didn’t take too kindly to the King’s offering and well— you know what happens when his Highness is made to feel upset.”
The metallic clink of the swords filled the arena as everyone held their breaths. Not many had lasted this long against Hargrove before.
“Rumour has it that he didn’t take too kindly to his general being beheaded. Took six men to get him into the back of the cart, even more to make him train. He’s been refusing food all week.”
The idea of it made you feel unwell, a sickly, creeping kind of pain curling around each of your ribs and suddenly you were starving, just as much as you were sure the man would be. But still, I didn’t seem to make him move any slower, it didn’t hinder him in bringing his sword down any harder.
But strangely, every time the new gladiator was struck, every time his knees hit the raw sand, every time he got close enough for you to see him suck in a gasping breath— you felt it too.
It was a battle like you’d never seen before, more vicious than the others from that day, a showdown under the blazing heat of the high sun. No tiger seemed as powerful as Steven Harrington of Verona did. There was something animalistic in the way he moved, all power and lean muscle, a steely glint in his brown eyes that you didn’t dare look away from. He moved too quickly for Hargrove’s blade, dodging and diving as he flung up sand, blinding his opponent and slicing at his legs. Each move was a blur, the stage bleeding with fresh red, the blonde gladiator on his knees.
But Hargrove was ruthless, grappling with the newcomer until they were both wrestling in the dust cloud and the crowd went insane, people chanted and stomped their feet, the amphitheatre shaking down to its very bones. The imperial box quaked with the energy, but truly, you weren’t present enough to feel it.
Your eyes never left Steven’s fighting figure.
The swords seemed to be forgotten, the steel blades rusted with blood, both fresh and new, and they lay in the sand. Fists flew, knees pressed to chests to keep the other down and it was brutal, it was harsh, it was deadly.
You wanted to vomit. You feared you might.
You wondered what would happen if you leapt from your chair, if you let your skirts get torn and bloodied in the mess of the stage, if you threw yourself down onto the sand and begged for Hargrove to take his hands away from the new gladiator's throat.
Would you be punished? Beaten? Locked away? Killed?
You weren’t sure but somehow, all the options felt worth it. You couldn’t watch this man die before you. Not when it felt like you’d already witnessed his death before.
But Steven wrestled himself out of Hargrove’s hold, twisting and tumbling whilst he gasped, one hand clutching at his reddened neck and the other grappling for his blade. He swung it through the air, arching wide, his wounded shoulder ripping with effort it took but the sword landed where the warrior intended it to.
Silence settled over the colosseum, the air still enough for you to hear the surviving champion heave out gasping, heavy breaths. There was blood on his hands, his chest, his face.
His right eye was already bruising, red and lilac coming to the surface of his skin like fresh blooms in spring. His shoulder was a mess, his right leg causing him to buckle slightly as he rose to his feet.
The man turned, jaw slack, his sword falling limply to the ground once more, his opponent still and at his feet. His eyes found yours and time stilled, at least, to you. The crowd erupted, an explosion in its own right, the entirety of Rome cheering for their new champion.
A man you were sure you already loved.
By the time the fight had ended, you felt beaten and bruised. There were no marks on your skin, no blood seeping through your gown, but something inside of you hurt all the same. It felt like something was clawing at your heart, a memory that was banging on the front of your skull, screaming at you to remember.
When the guards dragged the gladiator from Hargrove’s limp figure, he dropped his sword to the sand and spat a mouthful of blood towards the ground at the royal pit. The Emperor merely chuckled as others around you gasped and before you could even hear your fathers protests, you were on your feet.
Steven Harrington was shackled once more, the metal chains clinking around his hands and feet. And as he was led away back into the arches, the gears of gates making an awful protesting noise, his eyes found yours once more.
A burning gaze, too intense to look away from and you could’ve sworn on the gods, on the stars above, that something inside of you tugged sharply. Like the pull of a string, tied in a bow between your ribcage, urging you forward.
Telling you to go.
So you did.
You gathered your skirts in your hands and made your way to the exit of the box, too focused to hear your fathers objections until the guards at the doorway halted you with their spears. The wooden stalks crossed themselves over your chest and you froze, the string tied to your heart pulling tighter and tighter and tighter—
The Emperor was staring at you, with cold eyes and a smile that wasn’t really a smile. He spoke to your father, not you. “Where, my dear senator, is your lovely daughter running off to?” The king turned back to you, brows raised. “Doesn’t she know that more wine will be served soon? My cousin is looking forward to her company.”
Your father stared at you, a stricken expression on his aged face because everyone in the royal box could read between the lines of the Emperor.
You cleared your throat, eyes still trained on the sharp metal points of the spears that were very much in your face. “Forgive me, father - your highness - I was merely hoping to get some fresh air.”
“The sight of all that blood makes her rather delicate,” your father agreed and the crowd of councilmen, generals and their wives tittered in their jewels. “She isn’t one for conflict.”
The Emperor stared at the side of your face, something you could feel despite bowing your head in his presence. You stared at the floor and waited, heart racing.
The royal tsked. “What a pity,” he declared but he waved a hand, each finger heavy with golden rings, and his soldiers stepped aside. “Be back in time for the parade, child, you have company to entertain.”
The Emperor’s cousin leered at you, his wine glass empty, his lips stained ruby but none of it mattered right now, not when you were taking off once more, skirts dragging across the dust and sand, your chest heaving as you tried to navigate your way through the crowd that was already dispersing.
More guards, heavily armoured and with their swords drawn, were too preoccupied with a fight that had broken out between the arches, two lower class men arguing over a coin they found on the ground. Taking your chance, you moved with your head down, your face hidden as you slipped through a door that was normally carefully watched.
The heavy wood slammed shut behind you, the sunlight swallowed whole. Burning torches lit the narrow corridor, a maze of them leading you underneath the Colosseum. The hypogeum was almost damp as you tried to navigate its many walkways, a gasp leaving your throat as you took a wrong turn and ended up face to face with the iron bars that separated you from the animals.
A huge tiger growled at you, bloodied teeth bared in a snarl, the stench of raw meat and faeces hanging in the cool air. You backed away, eyes flickering from cage to cage, each one filled with another poor creature. Lions, bears, a rhinoceros and its offspring, and beyond them, an even larger cell holding prisoners. They all stared at you, men and animals alike, but nothing was spoken.
You backed away, unable to breath, turning on your heel and walking quickly enough to spot the familiar grey robes of the healers used after the battles. You followed, your steps light, and watched him enter a small room. Between the door opening and closing, you spotted the gladiator perched on a wooden table, his head bent low and his face hidden behind his damp hair.
You weren’t sure what possessed you, but before you barged into the room too, both men staring at you from the table where the healer held a ragged cloth to the gladiator’s shoulder.
“Miss, you have no need here,” the healer announced, his voice strict and cold. He narrowed his eyes as he gestured to the door. “This is no place for—”
“My father sent me.” It was a lie, of course. A bold and bare faced one at that. But you stood a little taller and lifted your chin, the emerald necklace at your throat shining in the low light that came from the small fireplace in the corner. “The senate has questions I’ve been asked to deliver. I shall not leave without the appropriate answers.”
On the mantle, beside bottles of acids and other medicinal vials, sat a small statue of the goddess Veratis. Her marble eyes seemed to judge you and your lies and you swallowed down the bitter taste it left on your tongue. But looking at the man - this stranger from Verona - the need to speak to him, to be alone with him, was overwhelming you to the point of senselessness.
The trouble you could be in if you were to be caught in your lie… or worse, down in the hypogeum. This was no place for a woman of your standing, never mind to be alone with a gladiator, both of you unspoken for. You could feel your heartbeat in your throat.
“If we may have some time alone?” You added with more authority than you should have held. “Unless you’d prefer that my father leave the Emperor’s side to ensure his orders are fulfilled?”
The healer sighed but placed down his tools. He flashed you a smile that was all crooked teeth, more bite than kindness, but he made his way to the door. “That won’t be necessary, My Lady,” he told you and he left, closing the wooden door behind him.
The silence was a deafening thing. The crackle of the fire was still there, the distant roar of some poor, wounded animal, but whatever was held between the two of you took on a life of its own. It seemed to suck the rest of the world into it until there was nothing left but you and this man. He was staring at you still, brown eyes wide and so familiar, looking as confused as you felt as you stared right back.
It felt too easy to take a step forward, but the warrior flinched. Your next was slower, softer, more cautious. Your hand found the rag that the healer had once held, what little water it had been soaked in was cold, the material harsh. It didn’t take you long to find a new cloth in one of the drawers of the apothecary table and you took your time to warm some fresh water over the hearth.
Honestly, you didn’t know too much about medicine, only the basics that your father’s head servant had taught you as a young child. You found the small bottle of alcohol with ease, plucking it from the shelf and adding it to the warm water before soaking the new rag.
You held it up in offering to the man, still far enough from you that his dirty hair hid most of his face. His tanned chest was streaked with sweat and dust, marred with old cuts and fresher wounds from Hargrove’s weapon, but for the most part, he seemed okay.
“Can I?”
The gladiator lifted his head then, his hair falling away from his cheeks and you took in a sharp breath at the sight of his face. He was handsome, painstakingly so, but over and above all else, he was someone you were sure you knew.
The man nodded, just once, lips pressed together and as you came closer, his nostrils flared and his large hands gripped the edge of the table. His eyes raced across your features, recognition coming to the surface and before he could ask the questions that were clawing at his throat, you lifted the cloth and pressed it to the cut on his shoulder.
He hissed, teeth bared and you frowned, hushing him softly, apologies murmured just as quiet. “I’m sorry,” you told him and gods, he knew you meant it. “I need the alcohol to soak the wound.”
Your heart stuttered when he let you, shoulders tight and back ramrod straight, but his eyes were on your face the entire time you worked. “You’re not a healer,” he said. It wasn’t a question.
His voice rung through you, a deep timber that was hoarse and scratchy, no doubt from refusing to speak since his capture. You hoped he’d been drinking enough water.
You shook your head as you pulled away, dipping the bloodied cloth back into the bucket. “No, I’m not,” you confirmed.
Another swipe at his skin had him jerking in response but the blood and dirt was finally clear of the cut. It would need stitches, you were almost sure of it, but your skills started and finished at the basics.
“Then why are you here?” The gladiator’s eyes were trained on your necklace, a sure fire way to recognise nobility and you were overcome with the urge to rip it from your throat. “Why did you follow me?” He spoke like he already knew the answer.
You were hesitant about it, but you couldn’t stop your hand from lifting to his neck, fingertips brushing two beauty marks on his skin. They felt electric under your touch and you were impossibly warmer now, despite the old cell lacking the heat from the summer above.
“I feel like I know you,” you whispered. Your voice cracked with an emotion you didn’t quite know the name of. “I feel like I’ve mourned you.”
The gladiator looked back at you from behind his damp hair, the long strands matted with his and his enemies blood. He didn’t look as concerned as he should have been at your strange words. In fact, he leaned into your touch, lashes fluttering at the sensation.
“What an odd thing to say to someone who hasn’t died,” he answered quietly. But his gaze roamed over your features and something about being so close to him felt cosmic, it felt like a catastrophe waiting to happen. “I think I’ve met you before,” the gladiator whispered. He sounded reverent now, his own hand shaking as he brought it to your face.
He cupped your jaw, your chin, his rough fingertips trailing over your soft skin and when his thumb dragged across your bottom lip, you gasped and pressed closer.
“I think I meet you when I sleep,” he said and he frowned at his own words, at how confusing he must’ve sounded. “Every night, when I close my eyes. You’re in a garden and then you’re in my arms.”
Flashes of a bed came to mind, white linen sheets and too much bare skin. A man’s chest, tanned and muscled from hard labour, your hands that roamed the expanse of his back. You remembered how he kissed you in your dreams, with a longing so intense it could waken the gods.
Like he had enough love for you that he could end the world.
You could only nod. His thumb was still pushed to your bottom lip, your mouth parted as if you were waiting and his stare was so intense you felt warmer than you had in the stadium above.
Who was this stranger?
And why did it feel like something inside of you was being stitched back together by the sheer sight of him? His touch felt healing, it felt like home. Like it was only made for you to feel. Like he was made only for you.
Above, something boomed. Loud enough to be heard underneath the hypogeum, over the roars of the unsettled animals. If you had been outside, you would’ve witnessed the blue sky turning grey, shades of moody lavender and navy, storm clouds rolling across Rome from seemingly nowhere.
Thunder rumbled, threatening noise, something that made you and the man move closer to each other, like you both knew you were in danger.
That you knew something bad was coming.
“I don’t understand,” you said, eyes blurring. You weren’t sure why you were crying but Steve didn’t seem to question it. He merely swiped away the tears that slipped down your cheeks. “You’re a stranger— we’ve never— we’ve never met.”
Despite your words, the gladiator moved closer, standing from his seat on the wooden table to lean his forehead against your own. Your eyes slipped closed, nose bumping his. He smelled like metal, like blood and dirt and sweat but underneath there was something like fire there, like molten iron, like lavender fields and fresh cotton. Like a daydream, like something you weren’t sure was real.
His bottom lip touched your top one, only just, only barely. A whisper of a kiss, a small insight of something that could’ve been, of something that maybe once was.
Thunder rolled again, louder than before, as if it was right above you both. Even over the din of the crowds above, you could hear the heavy patter of rain that was now flooding the colosseum, the stage soaked. Another warning, something you’d seen before in a dream just before it turned to a nightmare.
“I was meant to find you,” Steve murmured. He had your face cradled in his hands, an overwhelmingly gentle touch despite the dried blood under his fingernails. His voice grew in urgency then, like he knew something was coming. Someone. “I was meant to come here. I can feel it. I understand now.”
“Someone once told me you’d come back,” you suddenly remembered, your voice eager, your eyes wide at the memory. “I don’t know— was it you? From before? From—”
From another life, you wanted to say.
How ridiculous those words were, how silly, how stupid. But there wasn’t any other way to explain. Logic didn’t seem to exist when everything you felt from this touch of this stranger led you to believe that somehow, someway, you’d spend a lifetime together.
Like you were supposed to spend this one with him too. And it didn’t seem long enough, decades wouldn’t make up for the time you’d lost searching for him, for this stranger who only came to you in your sleep. But he was very real now, solid flesh and bone underneath your own hands, brown eyes that seemed warmer than the Italian summer.
You didn’t want to let him go.
“In here, my King,” a voice interrupted. The door was open and the healer had returned, a cold look on his already stern face. The Emperor was behind him, ruby robes collecting dirt from the old floor. Four soldiers flanked him. “I have every reason to believe the Lady sold me lies, Your Highness.”
It happened too quick. Too fast.
The Emperor studied you, Steve’s hands still on your face as you stood too close, ready to kiss, ready to fulfil something neither of you were sure of. It felt catalytic.
“Seize him,” was all the Emperor said, one lazy flick of his wrist sending all four guards at you both.
There was too much movement in the tiny room, bottles of medicinal wares clattering to the ground and smashing at your feet. The table groaned as Steve was shoved into it, his own reactions too slow from his injuries. He grunted and reached for you too late, his hand slipping from your own, fingers barely touching, as he was shoved at from either side.
One soldier shoved the butt of his sword into Steve’s wounded soldier, the other bringing his armoured knee into his bare stomach. The gladiator doubled over, a gasp leaving his chest before he fell to his knees on the stone floor.
“Stop this!” You yelled, urging forward, trying your best to throw yourself into the mix of it all but someone’s arms - another soldier - caught your round the middle. “Unhand him! Your Highness - please - he hasn’t done any wrong, please—”
The Emperor just looked at you blankly before he picked at the jewels around your neck. He tutted, as if it were a shame, a waste. You could hear the shackles being placed back on the man, the low groan he gave as the metal was tightened around his sore wrists.
“He won,” you whispered, your voice low and choked. You were ready to beg. “Please, he won. He doesn’t deserve this—”
“I don’t like anyone else playing with my toys,” the Emperor interrupted. He said it like he was discussing what to have for lunch. “And my dear cousin doesn’t like anyone playing with his.” He motioned to the guards once more. “Take her back to her seat, where you make sure she stays. This isn’t any place for a Lady,” he told you mournfully.
You didn’t get to see what happened to the gladiator as you were escorted out of the room. But you did hear his yells when the door slammed shut, the dull thuds of impact that you were sure were on his already bruised and broken body. You hadn’t even told him your name, or that you dreamt of him too. That during your worst night terrors, he was the one that saved you.
When you reached the imperial box once more, your skirts dirtied from the sand, your face tear stricken, you felt broken. Like you’d been snapped in half, like someone had found that wound Steve had stitched up and pulled it apart again the seams. Like someone had ripped something important from you, half of your heart, perhaps.
You didn’t even notice that it had stopped raining. The skies were blue once more, the sun shining, the only evidence of the sudden storm were the drops of rain that had soaked into the pillow on your chair.
Steve was gone and the thunder was too.
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‘OURS’
Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.
INDEX
Warnings: This series is 18+ and will contain fluff, suggestion, SMUT (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, parenting, mental health struggles, eating disorder, self doubt, body image issues, daddy kink, angst, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!
Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant/ baby logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)
Chapter 29 - Another Fall Baby | ‘Ours’
word count - 11.8 k
Another day, another morning filled with Teddy’s giggles echoing in your kitchen. Trent was chasing her around the island counter as you tried to dodge them, multitasking making Trent’s protein shake and Teddys pancakes for their respective breakfasts. This was their thing lately. Teddy liked to think she was going at the same speed in your kitchen that she was watching Trent run on the pitch during his matches every weekend. She assumed he was trying just as hard with her. She assumed she was just as fast as him. Trent wasn’t going to tell her otherwise. It was fun and he wanted her to believe she was that fast, he wasn’t going to be the one to burst her bubble. He was off to training after you all would eat. You had your first appointment for your pregnancy with your doctor in a few short days. Today you planned on taking it easy and doing everything you could to avoid the anxiety you were feeling about that appointment. When the game of tag was finished and breakfasts were done you sat Teddy at the table to eat, getting her situated. Trent opted to stand at the countertop with you resting his chin onto your shoulder, one hand holding his shake, the other placed delicately over your stomach.
“Thank you for carrying another beautiful little baby for us.” Trent whispered only for you to hear, keeping his eyes locked on Teddy being her usual self, happily munching on the tiny pieces of pancakes you had cut up for her and a few strawberries.
“Think he or she will be beautiful like her?” You asked sheepishly. Not really as a jab or a dig at his ability to make a cute baby more from a place of personal insecurity. What if your next baby looked more like you and wasn’t as cute as Trent’s carbon copy swaying her head back and forth with dramatic ‘mmms’ at the table right now?
“Yeah, I mean it’s impossible for them not to be really. They’ll look like us.” He continued on and you hummed. “Look at me baby. Any baby of mine has a pretty good shot at being cute.” He teased turning your chin with his hand to look at his correctly defined cute face. You rolled your eyes at his, though accurate, obnoxious cockiness about his appearance. “And there is a 100% chance any baby of yours will be gorgeous, alright?” He confirmed.
“I guess.” You mumbled out letting your eyes flutter closed for a moment, still worried. Trent’s cute comments definitely made you feel mildly better. They were sweet but you couldn’t shake your nerves entirely.
“Looks aside, baby, because at the end of day that’s not really what I’m worried about, they are so lucky to have you as a mummy.” Trent cooed, turning you by gripping your hips, spinning you into him. You smiled up at him and pecked his lips draping your arms over his shoulders. “I didn’t know until I met you how bad I wanted this. I didn’t know how important it’d be but this family, our children, I’ll do anything for us and more specifically you, pretty girl. You're everything, baby.” He cooed a particularly heavy and emotional comment.
“Yeah? I feel like everything was just in black and white till we had Teddy. Can you bear with a cheesy sentiment?” You looked at Trent with earnest eyes. He nodded, not entirely sure what he was signing up for but he’d always listen no questions asked. “I feel like my life was very static, it was all still photos with no movement and then I met you and it transformed into this movie. Everything began to flow and move. There was a score playing in each scene, like music. It just came to life and then when we had Teddy, it was like this gorgeous perfect movie flooded with color. I’m learning things all over again and appreciating them and the fact that I get to do it with you and her, I just keep falling in love with our life. It’s different having a family of my own. It feels like I finally am…” you took a deep breath, snapping out of your emotions before finishing your soliloquy. “Healing.” You flicked your eyes that had been fixated out a window to the back garden through the monologue back to Trent.
“Wow… baby. Erm.” Trent blinked his eyes a few times, taken back by your really heartfelt and almost heartbreaking confessional. “I mean… you know I’m not as articulate with my words as you are so as much as I like to win I don’t think I could compete with that because honestly you speak as beautiful as you look, baby.” He dropped his hands around your waist and over the curve of your ass to the back of your thighs picking you up and placing you to sit on the countertop. He stepped in between your legs and cupped your face, coming closer. “I feel the exact same way. I couldn’t express it better but baby… I don’t think you realize that you’re the reason things in life began to transform into moving colors. You’re the one that brought on this metamorphosis. You’re not the girl I met on 78th street. You’re everything I imagine that girl wanted to be. You’re so strong. What you’ve been through, whether it be the physicality of bringing a child into this world or the strength you’ve shown to heal and manage your health. You’re so brave. You always tell me I am after big matches and that you're proud of me but honestly comparably it’s nothing to what you do day in and day out. I couldn’t be more proud of you simply for just being you. Baby, what you provide Teddy and I is immeasurable. You are invaluable and you deserve to be living in a kaleidoscope world of color that I, by some higher power, got to be the lucky man that gets to give that to you and I hope I do.” Trent kept his voice quiet and despite your attempt to keep your tears at bay, they disobeyed your intentions and tumbled down your cheeks. You wrapped yourself around Trent and just breathed him in.
“You do, T. I love you so much.” You pulled away from your hug with a smile and started to giggle. Trent looked at you with a confused smirk. “What the fuck was that? That was so emotional.” You kept laughing. You and Trent went from having breakfast to baring your souls. You wiped your face and Trent followed in your hands wake with his thumb catching a few stray tears.
“What’s wrong, mama? Why sad?” Teddy yelled out, concerned seeing you and Trent. She pushed her little pink plate with a bit of food left on it forward away from her.
“I’m okay, Teddy girl. Just talking to daddy. Are you all done?” You cooed, turning towards her and hoping off the counter. You went to move past Trent but he grabbed your arm and pulled you back into a bear hug swaying you back and forth.
“Ted, do you know how much I love mummy?” Trent asked her, kissing your head in between words. Teddy hummed a disinterested ‘yeah huh.’ He released you after a few more kisses you weren’t complaining about. You went over to Teddy and sat in the seat next to her high chair.
“Hey, mummy.” Trent called for you as he grabbed a water from the refrigerator for himself. “I liked that picture from the GQ shoot you gave me so I moved it from my car into my locker in the changies so I need a new one.” He explained walking over to the kitchen table. It was just a thing you did to make Trent smile one day. You had tucked a photo of you all into the visor on the driver's side in his car. Evidently he liked it enough to move it. It was common for footballers to keep a photo of their families in their spaces at the training center. You were fairly sure he already had one but you weren’t going to press. You’d happily give him more.
“Hmm. Okay, do you just want the same one or a different photo?” You asked him, watching him come towards you two at the table.
“Erm… doesn’t matter, I just need one that I look good in.” He cheekily replied and you rolled your eyes. “One that my baby bear looks adorable in.” He cooed, running his hand over Teddy’s head before he pulled a chair out and sat down with you two. You nodded in agreement. “And obviously one that you look beautiful in, got one of those for me, pretty girl?” Trent asked, sliding his chair closer to yours and reaching out to squeeze your thigh.
“Yeah, I can find one for you, T.” You smiled at him, placing your hand over his on your leg. “Can you have one more bite for me please, cutie girl?” You asked Teddy sweetly, pushing her plate back towards her. Trent picked up her little fork and picked one of the sliced strawberries up with it moving it to Teddy.
“No tank, dada. Done, mama, tay?” Teddy told you very matter of fact climbing off her chair. You furrowed your brow and turned to Trent. Teddy’s new found independence was a little funny but it also caught you fairly off guard every time it showed up.
“Oh.. okay, I guess bye.” You laughed as you watched her run out of the dinning room and lay herself flat on the hardwood floors next to your dogs. “How are we going to tell her?” You quietly asked Trent, keeping your eyes on Teddy with the dogs. She was talking to them like it was a mutual back and forth conversation.
“I don’t know, baby. How do you do that? Like does she know how that works? I don’t want her to know what we get up to.” Trent didn’t like the idea of Teddy being anything but his baby. It was clearly equally as perplexing to him as it was to you about the new hurdle you were about to tackle becoming parents for the second time
“Erm… no. Right?” You answered him quickly. You were open with Teddy. You weren’t avoiding the logistics of life, you’d explain things if she asked. You didn’t want her to be afraid to tell you or Trent anything. You wanted her to be comfortable but Trent… well, Trent wasn’t all that comfortable about the idea that Teddy would ever grow up to be anything but his little girl, bundle of joy, pure, naive, angelic. He wanted her to stay that way forever if it was possible.
“I don’t know, I can't imagine that. I mean we have to be realistic. I don’t want any of the stork shit. She’s smarter than that so I think we tell her honestly. Like I want her to know what's up but also not what her parents get up to, does that make sense? I don’t… God, baby, I don’t know.” Trent babbled almost confusing himself more.
“Well obviously. I’m not gonna be like oh daddy and I fuck, am I?” You quipped with an obnoxious smile. Trent rolled his eyes at your dramatics. “This is when I feel like a fucking child. We’re parents and I have no idea how you do something like this.” You echoed his babbling, leaning your head onto his shoulder feeling the weight of raising a child with a second in the house approaching.
“Baby, alright. Just relax.” He hummed caressing your sides. “She’s smart, she'll understand it. I guess we just google what to do because I’m not fucking asking my mum how she told me.” Trent laughed and you followed him agreeing that you didn’t want to ask your parents either. This was something you’d have to do your own way. It was your family and you two dictated how you’d run the show in your own house. You assumed you might have to do this again at one point or another if you survived having two.
“I can’t believe I’m pregnant. Like I am right?” You whispered to Trent hesitantly asking him. It was obvious you were but a part of you was both apprehensive and eager to get to your doctor's appointment.
“Baby, we’ve taken literally like 10 tests here and have the appointment so soon. I am pretty damn sure though.” He whispered back with a breathy laugh.
“I know, I just.. I don’t know.” You sighed, hiding your face in his neck. You heard Teddy scream chasing one of the dogs. You could hear them scamper across the hardwood floors. “Think we’re ready for one more?” You asked Trent with a smirk pulling at your lips seeing Teddy round the couch with a giggle. Trent hummed confirming that he thought you were before kissing your temple.
You walked into the cinema after Trent had come home from training later that day after you had put Teddy down for her last nap before dinner. He was sat back on a big lounger reclined with a massage gun working it over his thigh muscles haphazardly and lazily. December was always such a busy month for him with football and his body was starting to feel it. Even after the work he’d do at AXA for recovery with staff he still needed more. He was sore and tired.
“My poor baby.” You cooed, coming to stand in front of him with a pout. He gave you a sleepy smile and beckoned you to come sit with him by a simple head gesture. “Need my help?” You asked, coming to the end of his seat and then crawling towards him. You slid both of your hands up his thighs moving them high up to his groins. You took the massager out of his hand before he even had answered you.
“Yeah, I need you, baby.” He sighed. He let his head drop back onto the cushion behind him. You did this a fair bit with him. When Trent was too tired after a match or training, you’d do anything for him. He didn’t even ask, you’d do it unprovoked more often than not. Sometimes you’d sit at the end of the bed or even on the floor at the end of the couch rubbing his feet, things like that. You didn’t mind, you wanted to do it. You held your pouty bottom lip between your teeth after you turned the massage gun back on. You focused on moving it in just the way you knew he liked as you kneeled, resting your ass back on your heels in between his legs. Trent had his eyes almost closed until he realized that the view in front of him wasn’t one he wanted to miss. The way you were bent over massaging him dressed in your skimpy tank top had your boobs practically falling out of it. You definitely fell into a category of women whose boobs tended to change during pregnancies. Trent wasn’t complaining. He tried to be coy but he was shamelessly staring as your larger boobs jiggled with every movement, watching your hardened nipples press into the fabric. “Yeah, I really need you, baby.” Trent groaned quietly and at first you didn’t realize it was anything other than a confirmation that maybe he felt better having someone else massage his sore muscles for him until he gently pulled down the soft fabric of your top letting your tits fall out. He pulled you up to him and swiftly wrapped his lips around one of your now exposed nipples. God, he felt so good. His tongue swirled around the perky bud. You were swollen and sensitive and this was turning you on an ungodly amount.
“Can I sit on your lap, T?” You asked him after minutes of pleasure what sounded fairly innocent but you both knew what you were asking for was more than a place to sit. You could feel your panties getting progressively more soaked. Your hormones were a mess lately. You couldn’t contain your desire for him.
“Nah, i want you to turn around f’me.” He instructed you and so you did, slightly confused but you’d always listen. You sat in between his legs facing forwards, your back to his chest with your top pulled down. He wasted no time, pulling said top over your head though leaving you in nothing. “Tell me you want me to?” He asked you as if you knew what he was talking about. You turned your head back to him and in the smirk pulling on his lips you knew he was up to something both no good and simultaneously amazing. You nodded sheepishly, biting your lip apprehensively not sure you were agreeing to. “Open your legs, yeah?” His eyes had a lust burning behind them. Hisone hand pulled one of your thighs helping you. He turned the massage gun back on and what he was about to do pinged in your brain immediately. You whimpered when he moved your panties to the side using the pulsating ball of the gun.
“Oh my fucking god, T.” You whined when Trent pressed the button of the massage gun once again. The speed of the vibrations increased. You bucked your hips into nothing but the gun’s vibrations, moaning. He was fucking loving this. You could feel warm liquid from your soaking wet pussy run down the inside of your legs.
“Can I speed it up a little more, hmm?” He hummed and you whined. You were practically shaking as you felt your orgasm come closer. “Gonna be a good girl?” He asked you as he pressed down on the button to turn the vibrations up again. You nodded as he did it. Your back arched off of his chest. Shockwaves ran through your entire body while he moved the ball of the gun from your clit down to play with your entrance and then back up and around your clit. Your orgasm came crashing over you unannounced. You could feel your juices leak from you but you couldn’t think straight to even care or even speak up to tell Trent you were cumming. He knew you well enough to know that’s what this was, in fact, he knew before you even had. He pressed the button once more to turn the massager back down to its original, lower, thank god, setting. Your chest heaved as you came down from your high, your clit still pulsating.
“T, baby, please.” You whimpered as you pushed off of him, sitting up right. You were desperate for more. He just set you off. You turned around, placing your hands onto his shoulders swinging one of your legs over his lap and straddling him. Trent’s cock was painfully hard after watching you cum like that. In quick succession, you pulled his length out from his joggers. You took his throbbing cock and ran the tip of it through your folds.
“Go ‘head, pretty girl.” Trent smiled loving how needy you were for him. You nodded, taking his instructions, guiding his cock into your wet pussy’s entrance. Your eyes fluttered closed as you slowly began to slid down, taking every inch of him. “Fuck me, baby. Feel so good f’me.” He groaned feeling you around him.
“Oh my god.” You moaned. No matter how insane of an orgasm he just gave you with a massage gun, nothing would ever compare to how good he felt inside you. He dipped his head lower, kissing down your neck all the way to your exposed chest. He wrapped his lips around one of your already sensitive nipples. He groaned, biting your nipple, pulling on it with his teeth. You whined even more. You were gone. Trent had you a complete mess. He had your ass in his big hands. He slapped one of your asscheeks. The sound of his hand smacking against your skin and the squelch of you riding him was beyond lewd. The way you slid up and down on his cock was pure bliss for Trent. He didn’t want this to stop but the way your pussy clenched again and again had him dangerously close to cumming. His length was covered in your slick, it was a pornographic sight. The veins in Trents neck pulled as he groaned trying to not finish just yet. He leaned your body back and thrusted up into you while you continued to bounce on top of him holding onto his shoulders. You made eye contact with him through hooded eyes as he fucked into you. Your nails dug into his skin, leaving behind crescent shapes, trying to hold off on your high till he told you you could cum.
“Fucking hell, baby. Cum with me, yeah? Cum, baby. I need to cum inside you.” Trent growled, pulling you back into his embrace, nuzzling his face into the nape of your neck. He bit down into your skin. You whined his name repetitively as you came around him, falling apart, your pussy tightening and throbbing all at once. He groaned, releasing his warm cum inside you. Your body collapsed into his. You ran your hands over his hair delicately despite your heart still racing.
“I love you so much, T.” You whispered, breathing the scent of him in. You laid into him limply as you both tried to regulate your heavy breathing.
“My baby.” He kissed your skin. “That felt so fucking good. God, I love you, beautiful.” He whispered, dragging you off him to cup your face in his hands. He looked deep into your eyes before he kissed you. You smiled into the kiss and pulled away with a giggle. You weren’t expecting your assistance post training to turn into all that.
“C’mere, beautiful.” Trent pulled at your bare waist when he came home from training the following day. You were changing into a new outfit for a dinner you were going to tonight. He dragged your semi lingerie clad body back a little bit into him after he had come into your wardrobe. You were inspecting a romper you were holding up that you had thought you had wanted to wear but were now second guessing it.
“I don’t want to be fat again.” You sighed sadly turning to him with a childish pout as you pulled the off the shoulder light pink romper over your body.
“Baby, you have never been fat. If you’re talking about just changes because of the pregnancy… You’re carrying a baby, sweetheart. It’s so beautiful, really. You’re so beautiful.” He gripped your shoulders, turning you back to look at yourself in the mirror. He kissed your collarbone from behind leaning over you. “Look at you, gorgeous girl.” He slid his hands down your sides a few times before landing on your hips and squeezing them.
“I look horrible. It’s just the worst part of the whole thing.” You sighed running your own hands over the front of the romper to flatten its material down to your stomach that was still flat but just the thought of what was to come was already upsetting you. It was far from true but you felt like you could see the bump already.
“You could never. What your body is doing is an amazing thing.” You rolled your eyes at Trent’s honest and sweet words that unfortunately weren’t enough to sway you. You scoffed a little at a kiss to the back of your shoulder and his sincere sentiment. “Well, you’re just in such a good mood today, huh?” He laughed. “Gimme a kiss, make you feel better.” He cooed, turning you around once more.
“You’re hilarious.” You sighed defeatedly. He was amazing, you were just easily deflated by the idea of your appearance changing. A lot of women loved pregnancy and embraced the natural beauty of it all but you didn’t have a ton of that around you. You had your mum who immediately monitored your appearance from the second before to the second after you gave birth and all the way though, Lauren and Winnie who were actively avoiding pregnancy, walking around with arguably 10/10 bodies, and Dianne who would do anything to convince you that you were beautiful, but your put that off to you just being her daughter in law. It was a slightly confusing jumble of support.
“Let’s think of all the fun things… c’mon.” Trent gently suggested kissing your forehead.
“What? like not sleep…” You snapped unnecessarily harshly, turning away from him to go look for the shoes you wanted to wear with your outfit tonight. You combed through shelves of shoes frustrated, unable to find the silver pair of Aquazzura heels you wanted.
“Aw, baby don’t do this” Trent groaned trying his best not to get frustrated with you. You hadn’t even found out ‘officially’ about your pregnancy yet and this was how your mood was. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t thrilled by the possibility of nine months of this type of attitude. He just gave you a gentle smile trying not to deep it too much.
“Well you’re not the one…” You began to start another snappy comment. “Nevermind, I’m sorry.” You exhaled with a sad smile seeing him sit down on an ottoman in the wardrobe patient as ever ready to listen. “Hi…” You pouted at him. “I missed you all day.” You sulked feeling sorry for being so short tempered with him after he was nothing but kind. You came and sat on his lap, draping your arms over his shoulders. You snuggled into him.
“There she is. Hi, baby.” He kissed your temple. “Missed you so so much. I missed you all day and I will next week, you know. So can you please come with me?” Trent segued into his quest to get you to go to Milan with him. You both had been invited to the Prada Spring/Summer Fashion Show. Since your British GQ article came out your status just socially really took off. You were getting invites, your following on Instagram skyrocketing even more, PR requests for more opportunities came flooding in. God bless him, Tyler was helping you out in the meantime but simultaneously trying to get you set up with an agency to work with because he and Trent didn’t really have the resources in the women’s fashion world that were relevant for who and what you were getting requests about.
“No, I don’t think so, T.” You shyly and selfishly told him. You had decided to go, then not go, then go, and now were currently in a ‘not go’ phase. It was all very exciting initially, slightly overwhelming, sure, but since the whirlwind change of going from simply a mum to a pregnant woman with a 2 year old made you less interested in flying around for shows or frivolous trips down to London for dinners with brands. You were of course grateful and flattered you were invited but leaving Teddy and additionally getting dressed up, trying to look good when you felt anything but, like you’d already gained weight, when your self confidence was plummeting, when your skin felt less than, it was just too much. “Everyone is just going to say I gained weight.” You oversimplified your mind's tornado of thoughts, looking at him with a lot of fear behind your eyes.
“You haven’t.” He confirmed. He actually completely disagreed. He thought you looked great, You looked gorgeous with a more healthy glow than usual, in fact. You visibly didn’t look all that different from a month or so ago till this moment. No real physical signs of pregnancy had really begun to show but maybe there had been a bit of a placebo effect happening in the mirror now that you knew..
“I have, I’ve been weighing my…” You started talking and then trailed off as Trent’s eyes grew wider with inquiry, a little shocked and frankly, annoyed to hear that you were doing something he really hoped you’d forgotten about entirely.
“Baby…” He cautioned you. He was fairly stern, hanging on to the things you’d promised you’d keep to for your health, for the health of his child’s mother, for the health of your relationship, really. He hated the idea of ‘tough love’ with you but he cared enough to do it.
“T… I had to know.” You poorly defended your actions, falling back into unhealthy ways. You were using your fluctuating emotions as an excuse to swerve back into old habits that provided a bizarre form of solace for yourself. It gave you an uncomfortable feeling of comfort. It was a semblance of control you were able to create. You needed to know.
“You don’t. Baby, you do not. Come on, we have to manage this better, Y/N. I’m not doing all that again. I’m so serious. I love you and it’s just not happening again.” Trent was very very serious. He was not messing about. Now that he knew what was at risk, what happened after Teddy was born, your essential collapse, not a shot in hell he was letting you two fall anywhere back near that place. “How can I help? How can I make you happy, just for today? We’ll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. Let me help.” He asked you, insisting you let him in. He ran one of his hands up and down your back.
“Can I just have a kiss please.” You sighed and asked him with a childish pout. You knew Trent would baby you if you even gave him a sliver of space to do so. He was ready to give some sort of ‘tough love’ but the way you batted your lashes and your bottom lip rolled, had him crumbling almost every time.
“Always. C’mere beautiful. C’mere.” He cooed, pulling you gently by the back of your neck with his big hand into a soft kiss. He hummed loving the feeling of your lips on him and you definitely didn’t disagree.
“Will you be mad if we have another girl?” You asked a little nervously. You couldn’t control anything like the gender of your baby so asking for his opinion was a little bit of a doomed thing to do. That said, no matter what he’d say you weren’t sure you’d believe him either way. You knew he loved being a girl dad but a part of him and yourself of course wanted a little boy.
“Nah, we just have to keep trying don’t we?” He teased trying to lighten the mood, pecking your lips once more with a cheeky smile. Your face didn’t change so he quickly kept talking. “I’m joking baby… absolutely not. Look how beautiful Ted is, how beautiful you are. I’d love another Alexander-Arnold girl in my life.” He told you honestly and you took a deep breath thankful. Even if he wasn’t being totally truthful you appreciated him saying that. You think he was being honest though.
“What should I wear tonight?” Trent asked you a bit later on as you were finalizing your look for your dinner date with him with lip gloss in the en-suite of your bedroom. He evidently hadn’t gotten dressed yet despite your initial plan to leave the house in 10 minutes.
“T…” you laughed. “Are you serious? I thought you were ready to go?” You asked him, staring back at him leaned against the door frame behind you still in his joggers through the mirror. He just winked back at you. “You’re lucky you’re pretty.” You teased.
“Pretty and in need of my pretty girl’s help so...” He cooed, waiting for you to give him the assistance he was looking for.
“The blue Rhude knit shirt I got you, please!” You called out as he had already turned to leave the en-suite to go into your wardrobe. He hummed as you layered a coat of the shiny gloss over your plump pink bottom lip.
“Can I wear Dior pants? You know those ones…” He yelled his fairly vague question for you to hear. Despite his vagueness you knew what he meant. You smacked your glossy lips together with a smile. Trent had done a full 360 on his opinion on your help with his clothing. Yes, 360. He had initially let you help him, to try to get in your good graces because he had a crush on you, he wanted to show you he respected you. Then as you got more comfortable in your relationship, he tried to hold his ground. He could feel himself slipping, that he had no backbone when it came to you. Even if he knew that your suggestion was the better option, he’d stay with his choice just to prove a point. He was stubborn and you loved him for that. Now? Now, he wanted you to do it all the time. He preferred you to pick for him.
“I like those if you want but I’d kind of prefer a navy pant. Can you do the blue Prada ones? I like them better with like the LV cream and white trainers.” You rattled on and Trent smiled listening to you as he combed through his things looking for what you were instructing him to wear. Minutes later as you were rushing to throw everything in your Pucci bag, he came out changed and somehow ready before you.
“I did good, no?” He smiled big like a little kid proud of his look that you had put together as if he had done it all on his own.
“Yeah, very good, baby.” You laughed and he hummed victoriously. “Going to give me any credit? You know people used to pay me to do this?” You told him with a smug face waiting for your kudos.
“You always know what looks best but is it the clothes or is it me though?” Trent cooed and you rolled your eyes at his cockiness. He came towards you and wrapped his arms around your waist. “How am I meant to afford you though? You're priceless, baby.” He kissed your hair. You gave him one more eye roll even though your heart was fluttering at the things he was saying to you. “Fine, fine, I’ll pay you for your services, hmm? Promise. Taking you out to dinner, who says I don’t have a little gift for my baby, and I absolutely promise when we get home... I’ll give you one of my best services in return, yeah?” He kept talking, letting his voice drop lower and closer to a whisper coming to press his lips to your ear. A shiver ran up your spine subsequently.
“Yeah… okay. I’ll accept all that. Still might be a little short but… It’s fine.” You tried your hardest to focus on keeping the fun game of banter going and not get distracted by his switch up. You moved out of his hold heading to the door out of your room to the hall to leave for dinner.
“A little short! How!?” He yelped, chasing after you. He kept an offended face but he loved when you’d mess about with him.
“I gave you a child!” You snapped turning around to face him with a conniving grin.
“I gave you a child! That was a shared endeavor!” He rebuttled his correction as he wrapped his arms around you frantically dragging you back into the room with him walking backwards. “Hey, hey, hey. We made that little girl together. If you want I’ll refresh your memory on how we did it, alright?” He spoke with a cheeky smile that had your heart racing.
“Later. We have to go. I hate being late for reservations.” You pecked his lips, placing your hands on top of his and removing them from your body. You actually left the room this time successfully to get downstairs.
“I knowww.” He groaned having to readjust himself in his pants after your heated conversation.
“Can I start you off with some cocktails?” The waitress asked you. You were sat at a small table across from him in a dimly lit restaurant. The same type of lighting that he had looked so gorgeous in on your first date. The one that had you practically stuttering and hiding behind your hands or your cocktail. You felt the same unfairness looking at him. Even years later, he was stunning.
“Erm.. yeah... Oh no, wait actually, I’m okay, thank you though.” You stumbled through your answer momentarily, almost forgetting you were pregnant and couldn’t order the margarita you usually liked to order at this restaurant. Trent smiled, reaching out to brush his finger over your knuckles pretty happy for the reason you weren’t not drinking.
“And for you?” The waitress raised her eyebrow, practically licking her lips at Trent. She had this tone in the way she asked him that insinuated you were boring for not drinking. You wanted to stand up and tell her you were not drinking because the man, also your husband, she was currently undressing with her eyes fucked a baby into you but you would never, you certainly thought about though.
“No, we’re alright. Just two waters…” He paused. “Lemon?” Trent looked to you for confirmation so you nodded. “Yeah. Lemon, please. Thank you.” He sweetly nodded to her, flicking his gaze back to you.
“Ridiculous.” You teased him as the waitress left your table. You rolled your eyes at the situation.
“What?” He looked at you fairly confused and very naively because the look on your face was one of sincerity and familiarity he didn’t recognize why.
“Just the influx of women all day. How do you even know you want me when you have so many options?” You asked. It came out so bitter and insensitive. You didn’t mean to come off so harsh, it's just that it was a matter of fact, women came up to him all the time.
“Wow… erm.” Trent kind of choked getting out a response. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.
“T, I…” You tried to explain through a stutter but he cut you off before you could even get out that you didn’t mean it as a jab.
“Nah, nah. I’m gonna answer because you clearly want to know.” He smiled at you with a confidence that made you feel a little insecure. You felt guilty it came out that way. You weren’t trying to be critical of him. You’d be lying if you said the attention from women didn’t bother you a little bit it wasn’t his fault. He never fed into it. “I know, baby, because you are the only woman I see. Don’t roll your eyes yet, alright? Let me explain this. You are illuminated and they all are just dulled out in my vision. I barely even see them. They don’t have the same light behind their eyes. Their laughs don’t sound right. They don’t make my heart hurt when they leave. I can feel it when you're close by and they don’t feel right, their energy isn’t right for me. You're everything they don’t even know they aren’t. Everything you are is everything I’ve ever wanted.” He told you with certainty keeping his eyes locked on yours.
“Oh…” you sheepishly got out wanting to hide embarrassed but you kept your eyes fixed on him, feeling a bit more comfortable and braver than your first date. You didn’t want to look anywhere but those perfect brown eyes.
“I get an ‘oh’ in response?” He laughed a little at your shyness teasingly. You had more on your mind but that was the only word that would come out.
“No I just…” You didn’t know what to say or how to articulate it maybe. You felt flustered like you were just meeting all over again. You looked at him with doe eyes feeling insecure despite the massive rock on your finger telling you to feel otherwise.
“Baby, I don’t think you’ll ever understand what you do to me. Wrapped me around these dainty little fingers.” Trent smiled, pulling on your ring finger clearly on the same page as you. “It’s unfair what you do to me and I love every second of the inconsideration you unknowingly took on my heart.” He continued.
“I don’t know if I agree that I have that effect but I know that I feel that way about you.” You shyly said to him with a cheeky smile though. Trent shook his head disagreeing with your disagreement. “It’s strange, no? To feel so out of control about the way you feel for someone.” Your smile grew and you felt like so did the size of your heart.
“Yeah, like there’s nothing I can do. You got me, baby. No getting rid of me now because you’re all I want and I’m never living without you.” Trent gave you a smirk that made butterflies swarm your stomach.
“No, nothing at all.” You giggled. “Just completely at yours, pretty boy.” You smiled at him and Trent felt his heart falter just the same as he watched the warm candle light flicker across your face. “But that’s good you feel that way because I’m not leaving you so you’re stuck with me… well us too.” You smiled again, placing your hand on your stomach referring to you, your daughter Teddy, and your unborn little baby.
“I love you, beautiful… all of you.” Trent cooed, keeping his eyes on you in the soft lighting. You were full and you haven't even eaten yet. You were full from the way he made your heart feel.
“More than you can imagine, T.” You responded with tears pushing their way to your lash line. You weren’t even sure if this merited the amount of emotion you felt but regardless you were feeling it. Maybe it was pregnancy or maybe it was him.
“Got you a little something.” Trent handed you a sizable familiar orange box across your table. He could have waited till you got home but Trent loved doing this. He wanted you to feel special. It made you feel special. You opened the box cautiously. A blue Hermes blanket embroidered again with ‘Baby Alexander-Arnold’ on it.
“Oh…” You whimpered out. Maybe this did warrant the tears that were now about to spill over your lash line.
“You and Ted like the one we got for her, you know and I want this baby and mummy to be happy and cozy together as well the same way. I also thought it was special last time. We could get one for every kid and I just… Do you like it?” He asked you a bit shyer than you were expecting considering how much you did love it.
“T, it's perfect.” You officially started crying. You were quiet but clearly a bit overtaken by the emotion and how sweet Trent was, not just tonight but all the time, every day.
“Wow, that's so chic.” The waitress came back to the table to check on you interrupting an intimate moment. This was the first thing for your new baby.
“Sorry, do you mind if we have a moment?” Trent snapped fairly quickly to her. It was still polite but he kept his eyes locked on yours. You smiled considerately. Your favorite moment in the world, selfishly, was when Trent put you above anyone. It wasn’t about anyone else right now but you two.
You changed when you got home, tired of being in your heels. You sat cuddled up to Trent back in the cinema kissing on his soft skin as he watched a NBA game on the big screen, it’s blue light filling the dark room. You had no idea who was even playing in the game. Your face was buried in the nape of his neck until a thought popped into your head.
“What’s your favorite way to kiss me?” You smiled into another kiss against him with a hum.
“What a question. I’m pretty happy with what you’re doing right now but the way I kiss you? I don’t know, baby. Just when it’s soft, slow. I get to hold you nice and tight to me. Even though it’s gentle, when it's still heated and I know this sounds stupid but I can feel that you love me. Those are the ones for me.” He explained his answer to you in probably a more thoughtful way than you were expecting. Although, that seemed to be the theme of the night. You hummed and wrapped your arms around him a little tighter, giving him a squeeze before moving one of your hands up under his t-shirt continuing on with your task of kissing his neck simultaneously now rubbing your hand over his abs. “I really do like the ones though when I’m inside you and we're having a kiss and you moan into me. Oof baby, I don’t know… that gets me going. Biting on my lip a little as well. That’s up there for sure.” He smiled, dropping his gaze towards you.
“T, baby…” you whined a little nibbling up his neck, littering his skin with kisses coming up to his jawline, moving towards his lips.
“I love when you call me that.” He whispered to you moving your face off from him so he could turn his and look directly at you. He kept your cheek cupped in the palm of his hand.
“Yeah?” You asked in a slightly childish tone but it was also laced with seduction. You kissed the inside of his wrist.
“Yeah. I like ‘T,’ I like ‘baby,’ I mean ‘dada’ always makes me smile.” Trent filled you in on his preferred names that you’d call him.
“Daddy?” You teased him.
“Yeah I mean fine, in the context of Ted but that’s more jokes between you and me.” He laughed trying to play it off like you hadn’t seen lust wash over him in the times you’d called him that in private.
“Is it? Because I think it turns you on.” You giggled with a cheeky smile giving him a bit of a tease.
“I think it turns you on!” He yelped defending himself, turning your accusation back on you with an equally if not more cheeky smile.
“Depends on the context, you just turn me on.” You repeated his initial commentary. He hummed in agreement, pecking your lips.
“Nah, but I do like when I get you to fall into this voice. It’s just for me. You slow. It’s breathy like you’re begging for something but it’s sweet and playful. Baby, I’m telling you now, you just got me down. Everytime you know exactly what I want to hear and how I want to hear it.” He cooed with a glint in eyes as his thumb gently caressed your cheek.
“T, baby.” You cooed in just the tone of voice he was talking about unintentionally. It was soft and sexy, sincere and innocent.
“That’s it, that's the one. Gets me every fucking time. That name. Only one in my life that’s ever called me that. And that tone is… just god.” He trailed off getting lost in the thought of you.
“Oh, you like that? Like when I’m in your ear whining your name T, baby.” Your purposefully pushed yourself into him a little more saying it again. Your hands dropped towards the waist of his joggers. You teased him, dragging your nails over his abs.
“We’re going upstairs.” He quickly told you, disregarding his plan to watch this basketball game. He scooped you up like he did your 25 pound daughter, throwing you over his shoulder. You giggled excited for the rest of your night. He smiled as he jogged up the stairs holding you.
“It’s so good to see you again!” A nurse came into the room you were seated anxiously in. You weren’t sure if she actually recognized you or if she simply just remembered the last name and Trent’s memorable but also famous face. You definitely remembered her though. She was sweet and super helpful through your entire pregnancy with Teddy.
“Yeah, course. We’re excited to be here.” Trent eagerly responded, squeezing your hand in his. He was beaming. You were trying to be a bit more tame. You were nervous and not in the way he was. Trent was nervous, of course, but more about like your actual health than your capability to be a parent. He knew you both would be great. You were a bit more apprehensive about the concept of having two kids. You went through the formalities of the appointment. Second by second it ticked by and you just had a feeling as the transducer glided over your stomach with the cold gel that you knew the gender. You could feel it. You had a hunch but you didn’t share it with Trent ahead of the appointment. As the images filled the screen, you could hear your baby's heartbeat. The emotions became overwhelming. You thought you’d be prepared for this having done it once before. You were not.
“I'm here, baby.” Trent whispered to you. Tears started to roll down your cheeks as you laid staring back at Trent. He wiped his thumb under your eye catching them like he always did. He kissed your temple softly.
“So you’re coming in a little later this time I think. You’re already about 10 weeks along. It’s good you’re here though.” The nurse spoke gently, looking between you and Trent. Your eyes widened a bit, taken aback.
“I’ve been pregnant for like… months…” You muttered back shocked. “I wasn’t like taking care of… I didn’t know.” You were trying to reflect back and think about what was going on two months ago. You were panicking thinking about if you had somehow messed something up already with this pregnancy. The nurse kept speaking to you about how essentially you were fine. You weren’t able to focus though you were combing through the events of the last couple week but Trent was. Two months ago it was early November and Winnie had visited. That made you fairly nervous. You were trying to remember everything you did with her. Trent had a memory like an elephant though so he had the same thought but immediately felt at ease recalling that you asked him if he felt a little sick that night. You did so you opted not to drink. It didn’t even occur to you that just by your own body’s instinct you had been doing everything just fine.
“Well, congratulations Alexander-Arnold’s, looks like you’re going to have one of each. You’re going to have a baby boy!” The nurse cooed sweetly. You had blacked out everything but the sound of your baby’s heartbeat until you heard her say that.
“Nah, nah, nah. No way.” Trent was shocked. He had mentally prepared himself to hear he was going to have another girl. The tears that slowly leaked from the corner of your eyes just began to flood as you sat up a little. The disbelief in Trent’s face made you giggle. His head snapped from the nurse to you. “Holy shit, baby.” He exhaled with a bewildered expression. His eyes watered. He cupped your face and pressed his nose against yours letting his eyes flutter closed.
“Going to have a little boy.” You pouted before pressing a kiss to his lips. “That okay, T?” You asked him even though you knew this was his dream.
“I… I … I don’t know what to say. Oh my god.” Trent ran his hands over his face trying to process wha he just heard. He puffed out a heavy breath. “I’ve never been happier in my life. I mean.. fuck.” He slapped his hand over his mouth. “Sorry.” He apologized to the nurse after he kept cursing but she waved him off. “I mean it's the same type of happiness but it’s so different then when we found out about Ted. Holy fuck. I can’t believe I get to have a son with you.” He shook his head and started to cry. Anytime Trent cried you knew it was seriously important to him.
“Yeah, our little son. Baby boy Alexander-Arnold. I hope he’s just like you, T.” You pulled Trent down to squeeze him in a tight embrace. He held onto you while the doctor printed out the photos of the scan for you.
“I love you. I love you more than anything in the entire world. Thank you so much for carrying our little boy. I can’t wait for our family to grow. I’m so excited. I can’t believe we’re going to have a boy. Thank you, thank you.” Trent babbled just in complete and utter shock.
“Going to be another fall baby, I guess. Have to ask Winn about his astrology.” You cooed and Trent rolled his eyes. You laughed, kissing his cheek. Trent wasn’t exactly sold on the whole thing but Winnie was. It was something she lived her life by. You just wanted him to understand this baby would arrive in the fall. He was so taken aback that you were having a boy you weren't sure he’d put the math of the timeline together yet. He didn’t care when this baby arrived though. He was over the moon. The nurse handed you the photos of the scan of your baby. You held them inspecting your growing baby boy for the first time. Trent placed his hand on your stomach gently and hid his face in your neck a little overcome with emotion till. Having a son was unreal to him. It was something he had dreamed of. You knew he would never put pressure on your little boy but the idea he could potentially have a son who played football was everything he ever wanted. This was unbelievable that he’d even have the opportunity to even play footie in the back garden with his son. He, of course, would treat him and Teddy just the same but there was something special about having a son. The same way you felt something special about having a daughter. “I love you so much, T. You’re going to be the best daddy to him. I’m so happy, baby.” You hummed, finally feeling the excitement of this pregnancy seeing his reaction as you kissed his temple, holding him.
“I wonder what Teddy will think.” He pulled away from you with wet eyes and a smile. You smiled back and started to deep it. God, you hoped she’d be excited as you two were right now.
“You know that’ll be tough.” Trent cooed while driving as you sat in the passenger seat.
“What do you mean?” You asked him curiously with a smirk knowing it was going to be something close to ludacris.
“I mean he’s gotta live up to me? Tough no?” Trent explained, keeping his eyes fixed on the road.
“Stop.” You scoffed at him. You knew he was joking but also it did actually cross your mind when you heard what your little boy's life might end up like having to constantly be compared to Trent. You had already been pondering what to name him because originally you loved the idea of all your kids having ‘TAA’ initials but you also were worried about the ramifications or burden it might be to carry that name. It was different for Teddy. It felt like she had the protection of the surname where it felt like with a boy, your little boy, the surname might act more as a target against him.
“Nah, I’m being forreal though, I don’t want his mates teasing him for having a leng mum picking him up.” Trent kept a straight face. You had been worried about what it was like to have Trent as a dad whereas, even though he was joking about, he’d definitely clocked a worry he’d been harboring about how people looked at you. Not derogatorily about you at all. He wanted to protect you. He just knew how sensitive you were and how shitty people could be. He knew how you felt when people said things now like the ever circulating ‘with him for his money comment’ or ‘trapped him with babies’ narrative. He didn’t want anything like those types of things to affect your ability to be a mum and be present with them.
“Well, I mean you don’t think that will happen with Teddy’s guy friends?” You asked him with a cheeky smirk of your own.
“She’s not having guy friends. I don’t know what you’re on about.” Trent seriously responded and fast to your remark.
“Oh shush.” You swatted at him. It was a stupid comment but you also knew he kind of meant it.
“Nah never. Staying home with me every night. Ted doesn’t know boys exist.” He snapped with a bit of a laugh. Trent wanted Teddy to be his baby girl forever and that was becoming more and more apparent.
“Except she does. She’s surrounded by you lot all the time.” You informed him. Teddy was around boys and you 24/7. Between Trent, Marcel, Tyler, George, Jude, the list rattled on.
“That’s different. Boys are mad these days. I’m her dad and their uncles. Boys her age. Nah, absolutely not. I’m talking when she’s like older, boys in her school year, absolutely not. They can’t be near her and they can’t look at her… or you. I couldn’t have seen what you look like now in bed when I was 13 or 14. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it, ya know?” Trent breathily laughed. “Would’ve just wanked all day. Fucking hell.” He laughed a little more imagining his younger self seeing the images he got to see day in and day out in your bedroom. Frankly, even out of the bedroom.
“Ew, first, gross.” You giggled along with him thinking it was equally as funny. You rubbed your hand tenderly on his thigh. “Secondly, no one else is seeing what you’re seeing. Also, what I don’t have that effect on you now? Grown Trent isn’t as easily swayed?” You teased, questioning him sliding your hand higher up and higher up his leg.
“Nah, relax. I’m telling you now baby… it’s fucking work.” He sighed, shaking his head. “I’m fighting for my life out here, every day.” He groaned as you palmed over his hardening cock as he tried to focus on the task of driving, proving his point. You giggled moving your hand off him with a smug smile pretty content with yourself.
When Trent came home from another day after training. You were sitting on the couch minding your own waiting for him to get home. You were tired and catching up on an episode from a show you were watching on Netflix. You heard Trent come in through the garage door but you were too lazy to get up. He snuck in dropping his stuff and dragged his equally tired body on top of yours. He laid his entire weight on top of you. He just started kissing your skin all over, anywhere he could without a word.
“Hi.” You giggled wrapping your arms around his strong body rubbing your hands up and down his back covered by a jumper as he continued on his quest to kiss every inch of you. “That made me smile, T.” You told him. When Trent needed you, when he was soft with you, he didn’t ask for cuddles, he just took them and that was one of your favorite Trents.
“Do anything to make you smile.” He mumbled with his face staying buried in the nape of your neck.
“I love you, T. That made me really happy.” You gave him a cheesy smile as he pulled away to hold your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb.
“I love you, baby. Couldn’t wait to get back home to you.” He hummed kissing your nose.
“Did you see daddy’s home, Teddy girl?” You cooed a little louder for Teddy who was presumably still somewhere close by playing with the dogs. She heard you and came running and fast.
“Yeah daddy just got home and I am still waiting for my hello from my baby bear. How come you weren’t at the door?” Trent asked Teddy as she rounded the couch, giving her a tired but equally cheeky smile.
“I’m sorries I… I… was with doggies.” Teddy babbled out feeling guilty. She usually met Trent at the door. She liked to but she had gotten distracted today and your own laziness hearing him come in didn’t help.
“Ted, beautiful, I’m kidding. Come here. Did you give mummy a kiss today?” He called her over and reached out to her. He picked her up under her little arms and lifted her up onto the couch. He had moved off you and pulled her into his lap. He kissed her cheek. You smiled seeing them back together and laid your head onto his chest to listen to their conversation. She nodded that she had and she did. “How many?” He asked her one more question.
“Don’t knows, dada.” She looked up at him with doe eyes with guilt washing over her again. She felt so bad she couldn’t remember.
“That’s not enough then is it?” Trent cooed with a gentle smile. He cupped her cheek. She smiled back at him with a little giggle sensing his teasing tone. Trent nodded towards you encouraging her to go on.
“Mama here go.” Teddy cutely gave you a kiss. You laughed back at her with a thank you.
“Just one? You’re only going to give mummy one more!” Trent yelped, plopping her onto her feet. He stood up and began to chase Teddy around the couch. She squealed excitedly that he was home to play with her. You didn’t really have that vitality about you lately. They both seemed to have endless energy, you didn’t feel that way. To be fair, one was under three and the other was a professional athlete. You couldn’t keep up… you were a pregnant woman. You sighed though loving their laughs imagining what life would be like once your new addition arrived. You turned around and laid your arms onto the back of the couch. You rested your chin on top of them watching the cute chaos ahead of dinner ensue.
“Teddy girl, can you come here please?” You cooed while taking a seat on the couch in your living room. She was laying on the carpet playing with a few toys. She picked her head up and nodded. You were entering the middle of your second trimester, just starting the month of May. You had an appointment with your doctor yesterday and decided with Trent that it was a good time to finally tell Teddy. You had decided that you’d tell your families in the middle of the month so you figured or at least you hoped your two and half year old could keep a secret for you till then, it was roughly 14 days, you thought she could. Trent had just come home. He was grabbing both you and him a drink before he came to sit with you to break the news Teddy wasn’t going to be an only child for much longer.
“Dada!” Teddy giggled, getting slightly distracted by his appearance in the room. She ran up to him and clung to Trent’s leg. He let her hold on while he dragged her with him to sit next to you.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah I’m here, hi, but come on. Mummy and I have to tell you something.” Trent laughed at her overzealousness.
“Tay. Is it a secret?” She asked inquisitively. Letting go of Trent and pulling herself up onto the couch using his body like a jungle gym and crawling into his lap. She sillily laid out flat letting her head gently fall into your lap. It was strange but sweet that it was like she somehow subconsciously knew she couldn't be as rough with you anymore so she funneled all her energy into the way she’d grab at Trent.
“Yeah, my Teddy bear. It’s between you, daddy, and I, okay?” You explained starting to feel more emotional now seeing her looking like a real toddler in your lap. It was sort of sad she wasn’t your little baby any more. That she’d be your ‘oldest’ now.
“Tay tell! Dada tell!” She just about yelled pulling on your shirt sitting herself up. She wiggled her body to sit on Trent’s leg closet to you and draped herself around your neck in a hug.
“Okay, but it’s a secret, got it? You have to pinky promise, okay?” Trent smiled at her. She nodded and let go of you sticking her pinky out to him, something Trent had recently taught her to do. It was over ridiculous things and she often broke them to tell you about her promises with daddy or tell Trent about her promises with mummy. You hoped that the sacred binds of the pinky promise really stuck better this time. “ Good. Thanks, Ted. So mummy and daddy are really excited right now because there’s a baby growing in mummy’s tummy.” Trent just laid it out in the open brining his hand to gently rub over your stomach for her to understand. Your breath hitched a little. You had discussed this. This was the plan but you just weren’t ready to hear it or something. Trent had no fear. He definitely lived by the ‘just rip it off’ method.
“You’re going to have a little brother after summer time.” You explained to her the facts a little further, running your hand over her head. You gave her a sympathetic smile, praying she wasn’t going to be upset.
“Um…” Teddy hummed looking between you and Trent momentarily. “Whys?” She asked you two earnestly. It was better than maybe a ‘no’ you tried to tell yourself.
“What do you think, baby?” Trent asked her. You had consulted your doctor about best practices for telling a toddler and she had advised that letting them think about it would often help you navigate the conversation so you answered the questions they had.
“Don’t knows, dada.” She replied with a sad pout. Her face dropped. You could read her expression. It was as if she felt bad she didn’t know the answer, like it was something she should have known so you were quick to help her and reassure her it was fine.
“That’s okay, baby. We want there to be another member of our family because we love each other so much.” You emphasized the word so kissing her forehead. “Mummy and daddy made a baby and he’ll grow in my tummy till the end of summer then he’ll come out when he’s ready.” You explained a little more sheepishly than you would’ve liked. You laid your hand over your growing round belly for her to see. You hoped this was all making sense.
“Replacing me?” Teddy’s voice quivered as she asked you with a frown. Her eyes falling into the pools that would always break your heart.
“No, no, no, baby! Just making you a best friend, okay?” You cooed fast, immediately making sure she understood that was definitely not the point of this. You wrapped her in your arms, pulling her into a cuddle. You ran your hand up and down her back gently.
“No, baby bear. We love you so much.” Trent reassured her, kissing her sad pout. “Did you know that Celly is daddy’s little brother? So you’ll have your own ‘Celly.’ Isn’t that cool?” Trent further explained the concept a little more. Teddy adored Marcel so making it out like she was getting something she really liked of her own hopefully would work as an enticement.
“Tay, like Celly.” Teddy nodded but kept a fairly stoic face. You could tell she was still processing but at least the tears that had welled were gone. She had the cutest expression of thought on her face. “What’s my celly doing in theres?” She asked, turning to you. Trent smiled victoriously, liking that his idea of broaching the baby as the concept of her getting a Marcel of her own had worked.
“Oh... erm, well your baby brother is just growing bigger and bigger until he’s ready to come out.” You cooed rubbing her little arms. “Do you think he's sleeping now or awake?” You asked.
“I think he’s awake.” Trent interjected with his own opinion with a smile letting Teddy know this was a happy, fun thing they could talk about.
“Umm…” Teddy thought for a moment. “Think sleeps cause mama comfy.” She explained cuddling into you. You hummed pulling her into you more.
“Yeah, you’re right, Ted. Mummy is comfy, I think maybe he is then.” Trent cooed and Teddy nodded. “Is there anything else you want to know about your brother?” Trent asked her, rubbing his thumb over her chubby cheek.
“No, tank you.” Teddy cooed still ardently hugging you. Trent hummed accepting her answer but very aware that the following days, weeks, and months were going to be chock full of questions from her. “Mama…dada. Still love me with nother baby?”
“More than you can ever imagine, I promise. You have to promise me though that you’ll always be my baby bear, okay?” Trent pressed his nose to her with a silly smile. She giggled with another nod.
“Yeah. Mummy and daddy’s little Teddy bear forever. Baby, I will love you just the same. Maybe even more, okay beautiful? Going to be a good big sister for me?” You asked Teddy and she gave you a sweet ‘tay.’
“Mama?” She looked up at you. You smiled at her and hummed a ‘mmhm.’ “Be big sissy like mama with WinWin?” She asked you and your heart just about shattered. Obviously Trent’s explanation of having a sibling relating it to his relationship with Marcel stuck. She’d been thinking about it more and more since he mentioned it. You tried to hum an answer but couldn’t contain your tears. You sniffled unable to talk.
“Yeah, baby. You can be just like mummy and be the best big sister like her, okay? Do you want to be like mama?” Trent was quick to act, pulling both you and Teddy into him. He kissed your temple.
“Yeah huh, be like mama. Mama best.” Teddy cooed and you just kept crying. She didn’t know why but Trent got it. It was half that you were emotional about your daughter wanting to be like you and thinking highly of you and half that you were just pregnant and emotional.
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Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter 🤍 We're coming to the end. Going to post Chapter 30 and then probably an Epilogue.
Next part - The Final Part | Chapter 30 xx
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