#who was physically or emotionally incapable of being a good parent

[pantsaretherealheroes]

the bobby/maddie/eddie parentified child parallels go hard this episode i'm not ok

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Okay, let's talk about Ming, and how some people are talking about him like he's an irredeemable monster. (It's okay that you don't know anyone who was emotionally neglected and you have a decent relationship with your parents, but it's not okay to pretend your experience is universal and everyone else is garbage)

I know some of you remember my loud defense of Ray from Only Friends, and here I am again, to fight for the loveability of the character who doesn't know what to do with all their big feelings.

Ming's family, from what we see, is not a warm, loving place for him to learn emotional intelligence.

May is pretty great, but there is only so much an older sibling can do when your parents are physically or emotionally unavailable.

Ming's mom had only been seen trying to control Ming's life, marry him off to a woman, and insisting he is incapable of being on his own. Not exactly mom of the year.

Ming is clearly incredibly lonely, and so, so sad.

He likes Tong, but mostly after his sister and Tong are already involved -- because it's safe to transfer feelings you don't understand to someone that those feelings cannot go anywhere with. When he starts to feel too much for Tong, he leaves the country, because he can't process those feelings, and he doesn't want to hurt his sister with his crush on her boyfriend.

He comes home, and he sees Joe first. His likeness to Tong is obviously what pulls Ming in, but it is very quickly apparent that Ming is genuinely interested in Joe, but he has no fucking Idea what to do with that interest.

And when Joe clearly likes him back? It gets worse. He lashes out and then feels bad, but mostly doesn't apologize, he just moves on, because apologies require reflection on what you've done wrong, and Ming doesn't know how to do that! We see him struggle with it multiple times!

He does not know how to deal with being wanted. With the expectation of care that comes with that. Because, ironically, Tong and May are the best example of a relationship he has to look at, and he had to tell Tong to go take care of May when she was sick.

His crush on Tong remains so deeply a part of his identity, even as it obviously fades, and it clouds everything because Tong uses Ming's affection for him against him! And Ming doesn't see that! He doesn't see Tong's flaws until after Joe's accident, and even then, I don't know that he acknowledges Tong's actions as cruelty and manipulation, or if he ignores that all under his own guilt and grief over losing Joe.

And this brings us back to Ming and Joe.

Ming didn't have a crush on Joe. He sort of accidentally fell into a situationship, but then became intensely possessive and obsessed with Joe. We see him be so unbelievably soft with Joe, in moments where he's allowing himself to be, to stumble through having feelings and carrying for other people. But there is so much holding on tight that Ming can't seem to turn off.

He holds on to Joe --both of them!-- so tightly. He sees threats to his claim on Joe everywhere, and he can't confront that idea, so he doubles down on being possessive, and he looks cuckoo-bananas.

But it really just reads to me like he doesn't know what to do with feelings! I know people --especially ND people, who needed a little extra help to learn how to person -- who had emotionally neglectful parents and didn't understand healthy attachment until years of therapy and some determined friends got involved.

I don't have the greatest track record for "healthy attachment", and lean towards codependent in a lot of my relationships.

Some of the people I love the most are "hold on tight even when it's not good, because if I let go you'll leave" people.

They are absolutely deserving of someone who loves them. They deserve a happy ending and middle, too. They deserve the chance to learn and grow and become better versions of themselves.

(and they deserve people to love and cheer for them even when they're being assholes and throwing tantrums and hurting people because they are still learning how not to do that)

AND THIS DOESN'T EVEN TOUCH ON HOW JOE ALSO MISSED A LOT OF EMOTIONAL LESSONS, BUT IT MADE HIM UNHINGED IN A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WAY THAN MING!

Idek if this is coherent, or everything that I wanted to say, but here it is, my treatise on why Ming is my baby, actually, and why I will defend him until he is either better or actively worse.

ETA: what Ming has done is obviously not okay, reasons are not excuses, but I do think he deserves a chance to learn. and to tell Joe he loves him.

[medievill]

okay. okay. I think I've finally figured out the worst part of the "Ed's going to be an abuser just like his dad" headcanon some of y'all have.

let's go for a ride.

abuse is cyclical, and not just in a micro sense. it's not just "I love you, you're garbage, I'm sorry, I love you, I'm the only one who loves you because you're garbage, I'm sorry, I love you," etc. I mean macro. I mean generationally.

I mean that parents teach their children how to have relationships. we show our kids how adults interact with each other, how adults interact with kids, how kids should interact with kids. we model this behavior constantly. it's one of the most nerve-wracking things about being a parent, actually: you live in a fish bowl now, and the fish bowl is your home, and your children are constantly observing your behavior and interactions, even when you don't want them to, even when you think they're not.

growing up in a home with an abusive parent doesn't just expose you to the abuse—physical, emotional, psychological, religious, whatever it is—it teaches the child that this is how relationships work. and then this kid goes out into the world, interacting with other humans all willy-nilly, and bringing all the knowledge that their parents armed them with to bear. and when the kid (hopefully) realizes that wait, actually, shouting and throwing things and hitting people isn't good, that's not the way you interact, it is solely up to that kid to fix their shit. if they're lucky, they've got someone in their life to help them with that. but even once you've recognized that there's Bad Stuff happening in your interpersonal relationships, you have to retrain your brain. you have to change your go-to reaction. because you can recarve your neural pathways, but it is fucking hard work.

I didn't grow up with a physically abusive parent; I grew up with an emotionally abusive one. every time my partner does something that annoys me, or we disagree on something, and my reaction is "well, I don't really feel like talking"—if you don't think that I don't half- to full-on panic about wait is this the silent treatment, am I doing what my dad did, you are absolutely incorrect. it is a constant fear, that my reactions are inherently abusive. I am constantly gaslighting myself into believing that everything I do in a relationship is bad, hurtful, abusive. I am constantly having to convince myself that it's okay sometimes not to want to talk, and to sometimes be annoyed, and to sometimes disagree, and that none of this is inherently abusive.

now. Ed fucking Teach. do you not think the guy's spent some time introspecting? examining his inner most self? he's smart, and he's depressed, so, yeah. I bet he has. so do you not think, you absolute monsters, that he isn't doing the same fucking thing? Ed Teach, who convinced himself that defending him and his mom against constant violence (a white man, and as if this was a random choice)—ultimately saving their lives (and no, this is not an exaggeration)—made him an unloveable, unlikeable monster. Ed Teach, who is so desperate for love and friendship that his biggest fantasy is owning an inn, where people stay because they want to.

do you really think that one of the thousand internal battles Ed my beloved is fighting isn't don't be your dad don't be your dad don't be your dad? fighting, fucking tooth and nail, to be different. (same as Stede!) this reactionary headcanon literally misses so much of the point of the whole character; it buys into the British Navy's propaganda about him, and worse. it buys into the narrative that a man of color is inherently violent, inherently incapable of change.

[punkeropercyjackson]

Jason Todd's Marvel counterpart isn't The Punisher,Deadpool or Bucky Barnes-It's Miles Morales:By someone who's read every single comic Jason's ever been in and watched/played almost all his adaptions and is working on the same for Miles

Miles Morales is an altruistic,peppy optimistic sunshine boy who's a huge nerd in both meanings of the word and a paragon of soft,positive masculinity but also has a physical incapability of not running his mouth and snark off the charts with the never misses sense of humor to back it up,repressed anger issues from his trauma and isn't afraid to not hold back on people who deserve it because he may be soft but that dosen't make him a doormat.That's Robin!Jason Todd too and anybody who tells you otherwise is gross asf,because the only reason he was retconned to be 'a bad kid' was classist propaganda to demonize poor people,including his parents Catherine and Willis who pre-reboot were going through hard times but were good parents nonetheless

Miles is also the second mantleholder for one of the most well-known and influental superhero titles ever and was widely hated out of being a minority but is now widely beloved,a mama's boy who's mom is a brown haired woc with cultural roots when the writers aren't being clowns and is humanized instead of only existing for her kids,has a black and red theme and can't socialize normally nor does he flirt typically or have mainstream interests which combined with the rest of him makes a strong case for him being audhd but undiagnosed and also unable to mask.This isn't quite the same thing but a nice contrast is that Miles' canonical animal variant is a cat while Jason's is a wolf and in both Spiderverse movies,Miles has a red hoodie as a key motif of his.In Itsv,Miles meets Peter B when Peter B approches him from behind while he's grieving Ripeter and shocks him in self-defense and it's followed up by them having unconventional bonding and i can't help but think of it as another,bigger contrasting parallel to Jason meeting Bruce because he was stealing the tires from the Batmobile and hitting him with a tire iron and that is followed up by him finding Jason grieving his parents at his apartment and them unconventionally bonding.Both these leadup to them getting that mantle(Spiderman/Robin)

When Miles was 15,he went to a far off place to find himself at the manipulation of an important woman in his life(though to Gwen's credit,she was a manipulated and gaslight teenager by adults instead of a gaslighting adult like Sheila)and it caused a major shift in his narrative because of a Canon Event Death.Police Chiefs and in Jason's case,himself.Miles G is strikingly similar to a fresh out of A Death In The Family and Lost Days Era Jason.He's a 15 year old boy who went from a shining sunflower to a wilted sunflower because his light was killed and he's resorted to coping by being an emotionally constipated asshole(but absolutely not abusive!!)with edgy tastes and a vigilante at the mentorship of an important figure from his dad's past he was also close to growing up,Aaron a Talia to his Jason,and Miles G even has green eyes like Jason does.Miles G is quite literally a Red Hood Variant Miles Morales

If we're doing timeline graphs,Into and The Spider Within=80s Batman,Across=A Death In The Family,Miles G becoming The Prowler=Lost Days,Beyond=Under The Red Hood,Spidey and His Amazing Friends:Wayne Family Adventures if it slayed,Kid Arachnid=Teen Titans Go!Jason(It's a good show and better than Gabriel Picolo's Teen Titans-they look like fuckin' racist instagram people💀)and Spiderman and Venom:Double Troubled=Tiny Titans.Zero Lego Miles media though and that's a hate crime,give us SOMETHING but actually everything we deserve a whole Lego Miles Morales franchise

One must also look at Miles' love interests,because him and Jason have the same types-Ghost Girls and Black Girls:Gwen Stacy,Rose Wilson,Kamala Khan,Dana Harlowe,Margo Kess,Artemis Grace,Tiana Toomes,Hailey Cooper and in an alternative universe from the 90s Young Justice run back when Jason was still dead,Anita Fite.And the male character they're closest to in their best continuity:Hobie Brown and Duke Thomas.The 'dystopian punk black teen boys on a mantle sharing team who're proffessional instigators and sweethearts with insane ass street cred who had their childhoods taken from them but only let that make them stay kind,optimistic and anarchistic' duo!Two inverses of their relathionships that makes them all the more fun and interesting-Duke and Jason are eachother's Robin and found/adoptive brothers,Miles and Hobie also share a title but are best friends and possibly in love considering how much wholesome chemistry they have and Jason is the one with the 'I see a black boy in trouble and imma help him' typa beat towards Duke by constantly saying he's a real Robin,Batkid AND Batboy to combat the antiblack narrative bullshit by stupid posers who think Robin means 'black haired pasty ass blue eyed male' when it means 'Gotham's light in the darkness' and Duke embodies it as The Signal and brought Jason back to the Batfam without even trying.You can also make a Siblings!Ghost Flower comparison with the 'sunny black boy and moody iconic ghost' dynamic and 'Sunflower' is a total Jason to Duke vibe

In Conclusion:Miles Morales is Jason Todd and he deserves to have it aknowledged rather than Jason being compared to 1.Someone who's like Flashpoint Thomas Wayne way more than him,2.Someone who's his opposite in multiple ways and 3.Someone who's only very shallowly similar to him and Miles being ignored and not even being given crossovers to boot

[isa-ghost]

honestly its hard to come up with head cannon requests that already haven't been done but I've been thinking

so just to clarify, c!Phil wont be a separate person from hc/p!phil in the au now that its confirmed that they are both the same person lore-wise?

also in more detail, what are o and q Phil's goals/motivations for what they want to do next at this point in their lives and how will meeting each other affect those goals? like ik at this point Crowley is searching for his parents, but q!Phil has just been emotionally devastated by chay and llulah leaving his life and is presumably trying to find purpose in his life again? ig tldr; I'd love to hear what you think is going on in their brains goal/plan-wise when they meet each other and how it influences the plot?

Yes! I updated the original post so now it's JUST hc!Phil (who is also smpe, c, and q) and o!Phil) :] 2 Phils will be way easier to handle and write a formal fic for if or when I get a good plot idea. I have the foundation but not the Events, yknow?

The plot is kinda sorta the answer to your question.

You're absolutely right, Crowley is still determined to track down his parents, oSneeg, or SOME kind of closure about everything, all while narrowly scraping by bc he's currently the world's most cringefail excuse of an adult (mf grew up so spoonfed he doesn't even know how to do basic chores like laundry or cooking or dishes).

And qPhil (any abbreviation works for specifying him btw, or just say Phil bc we can clarify ccPhil easily) is indeed at a loss rn for what to do with himself. The isolation in Hardcore hurts after spending over a year with consistent company, but his 2 purposes in life are [ 1 ] his historian & architect work in HC and [ 2 ] (apparently) being a caretaker. But he has no motivation to go back to the former atm, and has no one to do the latter for,,,,, until he meets Crowley. ;) See where this is going?

Crowley needs someone to help him learn how to be a capable adult. And maybe some extra hands with tracking down his family and/or friend.

Phil needs a long-term distraction and company because his normal occupations are too daunting and the thought of being alone makes him physically sick.

Crowley is company in need of a mentor, a caretaker of sorts.

Phil is a goldmine of life experience and wisdom.

They're exactly what the other needs right now. But their jadedness and trauma are gonna CLASH at first.

Where are their heads at right now, you ask?

Crowley is not a people person (outside of oSneeg, "he's special ok >:(" ) and is gonna HATE swallowing his pride to ask for help. Also this old man is fucking annoying. And keeps calling him a tory. What the fuck is a tory. God, he's a nuisance.

Phil has, for the umpteenth time in his long long life, lost those closest to him with no "what comes next" in mind and not enough preparation for the goodbye that hit him. He's back to keeping people at arm's length to protect himself and his heart, he's back to hating the world and immortality, and back to being an aimless hermit loner. Which normally doesn't bother him but this time the people he spent time with wanted him for him, weren't using him as a weapon for their agenda or displacing their anger on him. They loved him and enjoyed his presence and he felt such and he hasn't in a long long LONG time, if ever. He had good kids who loved and admired him properly. He had everything he's, in recent history, lacked. And it was ripped away from him one way or another. He's bitter.

And the LAST thing he needs is this punk ass tory ass bratty ass incapable ass child of an avian trying his already worn-out patience and stressing his Constant Survival Mode ass out. Except he's not the last thing. He's THE thing.

And as soon as that clicks, that's it. Fine, fuck it. Might as well help this shithead find his way in the world. What else is he doing? No one else is gonna help this asshole when he treats people like THAT. Pog through the pain and take on the task. What's do I have to lose right now? 🙃 My wings? My sanity? Wouldn't be the first time!

And honestly? Getting on Crowley's nerves is kind of a nice outlet for things ngl. These two need to be a little bitchy, as a treat. It'll fix them. And maybe bond them.

[mguvmii]

Oh, oh, you write Death Note? Can I have Light with a S/O who was emotionally and psychologically abused by their parents headcanons? And if possible, how he would comfort the reader?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ00. 𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗧 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗦

🔔 summary ;; how light would comfort his emotionally and psychologically abused s/o. Just headcanons and not an actual one shot.

🔔 note ;; I'm using pre-death note Light. This is because when he had the death note, he was so obsessed and his god complex made him incapable of loving anyone but himself. Hope you enjoy! (update; death note Light has been added!)

🔔 cw ;; [ GN!reader ] [ abuse ] [ mental illness ] [ Light comforting his S/O ] [ Pre-death note Light ]

🔔 tags ;; leave a comment to be tagged in my death note works!

It's canon that Light is the most observant person ever. I mean , he's a straight A perfect student and highly intelligent so it would make sense that he was painfully aware of everything.

That being said , he'd probably come to the conclusion on his own that you're being hurt by your parents.

Not physically of course, but Light notices the little signs.

He doesn't know what's going on, but he would encourage you to tell him if anything is going on.

No, he wouldn't push it to the point where you distance yourself completely, but he reminds you that you can trust him with anything.

He also reminds you of how much he cares about you. As his S/O, he wants to make sure you're okay and know that you can rely on him.

So you tell him. You tell him about how your parents weren't necessarily physically abusive, but that they were fucking you up emotionally and psychologically. You tell him everything.

Now , though Light is very intelligent and observant, there's really not much he can do in this situation but comfort you. Usually it's the small things he does.

If it's a really bad day, he wouldn't mind holding you in his arms to let you cry it out. He'd offer words of reassurance and affirmations. Constantly reminds you that you're worth something.

His love language I feel is acts of service tbh. He'll comfort you by making something that you like , cuddle you if needed , read to you, anything that he thinks can help.

You know that you can rely on him and trust him. He comforts you the best he can and it's enough for you. He's a pretty good boyfriend.

Just know that his home is open to you anytime you want to get away from your parents. He encourages separation.

ㅤㅤㅤBonus :

If Light was your S/O during the time he has the death note:

I'd say it wouldn't be love? Well, just a tiny bit , but more so he's obsessed with you. He latches onto you like a leech and convinces himself that you're the only good thing in this world. I'd confidently say that, with his god complex going strong and his mental instability, he's a yandere.

If you tell him what's going on, he'll just kill them off with no second thought in the most painful way possible and he enjoys it.

I feel like he'd comfort you similar to pre-death-note Light , but less affirmations and more of just persuasive and words of encouragement.

uses phrases like 'you're safe now.' 'you can always trust me' 'I want you to be happy with me.' 'y'know I'd kill anyone for you because I love you' In a way , it's kind of manipulation and stuff, anything to get you to stay. Of course, he does genuinely want to comfort you with that little bit of humanity he has left.

But yeah , he'll comfort you in the way you want , but you're not leaving him. Never.

[skippyv20]

Hi Skippy! I was thinking this morning about how blessed  this entire community is to have you as our fearless leader. I’ve followed you for years, and have often sought your advice and counsel on many very personal issues. You never fail to come through with wisdom, empathy, and kindness. So thank you for being you and shining some much-needed light onto this world. 

I wanted to give you a long-overdue update. I am the attorney anon who wrote last year about mental health, job, and family struggles, including a challenging marriage, a child with special needs, and a new diagnosis of bipolar disorder after suffering 30 years with wrong diagnoses and medication.

First the good news: my moods have stabalized on a new cocktail of meds, and I haven't had a severe depressive episode for almost a year! My mania is better too, but I do have some uncomfortable side effects. I am on lithium, and I worry about kidney issues and/or developing diabetes, which are two possible side effects.

Second bit of good news - I'm now working back at my old organization. If you told me that this time last year, I'd never have believed you. I was convinced my days as an atty were over because of my mental health issues. I considered filing for disability. The role is one I haven't held in 8 years, I had moved onto a prestigious position in that org before jumping ship to another org for a promotion. So it's a bit humbling to be back in this role, but I'm grateful to be here. I was stuck in a nightmare at my last job, which included at the end fighting disability discrimination.

Bad news: I still worry about my son, who is now 7, and doesn't seem to be where he needs to be. I've done everything for him, 4-5 different therapies a week since his premature birth. He has a physical disability and, while he is very smart and can keep up with his class, he just seems different than other boys his age.

My husband is incapable of providing emotional support, and I do think sometimes I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship. I am not happy, he is not happy, but I'm so afraid to cut the cord. My brother is going through a divorce and I know if I do too it'll cause my elderly parents even more distress. But this is a guy who - get this - snapped at waiters who came to the table carrying (free) cake to sing  happy birthday a few weeks ago. It was crazy and scary, and i just don't want to deal with a person like this anymore. I'm 42 now, not in my mid-30s like when you told me to be strong and leave him years ago...is it too late? I see signs of aging when I look in the mirror and I've gained some weight. I'm worried I've lost all of my appeal and don't want to be alone. My husband is very responsible and does do a lot of things around the house and for our son. If he didn't, it'd be a no brainer to divorce, but maybe it's worth salvaging for the help with things I can't always get to because of my issues? Not to mention our son would be crushed. 

Hi! So nice to hear from you. Thank you for such kind words, but I must say…I am NOT a leader. I am just here struggling along with everyone else. We get through one day at a time, together! Nice to know some things have changed. That is so wonderful your meds are working so well. Don’t spend time worrying about the side effects. If you focus on those you are robbing yourself of joy. If you just keep going for your scheduled appts with your doctor, he will be watching for you.

I understand what you mean about being in one job and going back to another. I was working as a secretary in the government. I was chosen to create a new intake position, that was non existent. It was a six month term. At the end of the six months, I was back as a secretary being supervised again, by the same woman I had been supervising for six months. Everyone thought it was so strange. I didn’t though. I look at things differently I guess. A job is a job, and whatever it is, as long as you know you are doing the best you can….it doesn’t matter what the job is. You just take it one day at a time. After all, a job is not your whole life…right?

Children are strange little things. They do things at their own rate. He sounds like he is doing very well, he is keeping up! Great job! Seems different than other boys? That is ok…your child is who he is….it’s not a contest. Different is ok. My daughter was different as a child, an old soul. She is different now as she is bipolar. There are quirks….makes life interesting…..embrace him, just as he is….

I will always advise anyone who is being emotionally or physically abused to leave. You say you aren’t happy, and he isn’t happy? Perhaps a marriage counsellor? People get too comfy in their lives, and don’t want to change things. No one likes the unknown future. You mention your parents, and your son being distressed? Timing is always a problem…when is the best time? You say your husband is a great help…see to me…there must still be something there, I couldn’t find one good reason to stay with my ex, and believe me…he did all the cooking, he cleaned like no other, he did everything….that was one of the biggest problems for me…I couldn’t do anything, he told me that all the time.

Bipolar people can see things differently. They can hear things said one way only….it will be negative. It takes time, love and patience to communicate with someone who is bipolar. People don’t understand that unless you tell them. I have had to learn to speak to my daughter differently. Maybe you need to explain that to your husband. If you want to save this marriage, it will take work on both sides. Communication is everything. I know some think being bipolar one just needs meds….no…not true. It’s much more involved than that.

Anyways, I am so proud of you! You sound so much better. I really, really appreciate you dropping by, so nice to hear from you. You are in my prayers. I send love and hugs….and…thank YOU for staying with me!🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[fenharael]

me and my partner have been doing couples therapy for a few months and tried it a year or two ago. I love him, but honestly, I'm so super frustrated at this point. I feel like ever since he moved out here I've just become so...complacent. I know it's not fair to blame that on him because the truth is the COVID pandemic just turned me into a mildly agoraphobic depressed shut-in that hasn't really recovered. but I was hoping to have my partner move in with me would help but I feel like it's been draining, not just financially but also emotionally. He is genuinely a good, sweet person and I love him a lot, he just has so much past trauma that affects what feels like EVERYTHING in our relationship. and like, I have my share of baggage, but it's just exhausting. I feel like we are incompatible in just a basic living together situation. For example, I really really really HATE when things are dirty, it makes me legitimately upset. idk if it's a latent OCD thing or a dad-trauma thing or what - but the fact remains I hate it. I also really can’t stand messy things, but I can manage it, also I end up being really messy in my. own room so I can't judge other people for it… but I feel like our home has just been so dirty. :| I really am not happy most of the time bc the constant dirtiness is upsetting and I feel like when I try to take a weekend to clean everything it never stays that way and it's like a losing battle. I’ve talked a lot to my partner about better-dividing household labor and chores, and its helped somewhat but  its been such an uphill battle and honestly it’s just not enough for me. He helps a lot with hlike stereotypical "guy" stuff like electronics or appliances and the cats and the car which is great- but I need help with day to day shit. I need help with COOKING which has been a huge huge point of contention between us. At this point I think i really just want to live alone. I want control over my own space, I want to feel comfortable and clean and safe. I don't want to break up with him, but  right now we are not good housemates. Honestly, I’ve never had a roommate I liked living with except Hannnah because she was just as much of a clean freak as I was and super nice, it was really amazing. Every other person has been hell. Maybe its just because of who I am. I dont know. I feel really bad about this, but its just a lot of things adding up. Maybe some physical space apart will help make things better. I'm just tired of feeling like a parent and a caregiver, I'm tired of feeling like I can't rely on my partner for BASIC things, i'm tired of doing a lot of the emotional heavy lifting. And honestly I’m kind of pissed about the finances in our household which is a whole other thing.

This isnt to say I'm not difficult and he hasn't done stuff for me, he has! i'm very difficult, I'm moody, and particular, and he does a lot for me to comfort me. but I don't know. I just feel bad bc i feel like I’m arguing with someone who is trying  to convince me they’re helpless and incapable of doing basic shit. I can just never tell if  I’m  too much of  a callous hard-ass with too high expectations of people or I am lacking in empathy or compassion. Sometimes it feels that way. Sorry for this vent I just needed to write it down.

[miladythewinter]

long & depressing personal vent post under the cut bc i've been thinking about this since last night and need to write it down

i literally haven't done anything in life and even like my knowledge of stuff is not as expansive as i imagine it to be. i'm continually faced with the fact i'm a loser. i am, really. it's okay

i'm 30 years old (soon 31) and i live with my parents and have always done so. i have no career and no prospects. sometimes i feel okay about this but other times it obviously scares me because precarity is bad and you can't make long-term plans and it's also the reason i can't move out.

even at this age, i really don't know what to do with my life. this is mostly because of my personality which is not conducive to success. not only am i an introvert but i'm an extremely resigned person. i resign myself to any situation and then have no motivation to change it. i fall into comforting habits and routines super easily. i never had friends outside of school and i've always done things alone so i've had a pretty small life. excepting work, i feel like i have the life experience of a 19 year old. and i don't feel like a person who lives, but as someone who merely exists, day by day, week by week, time passing me by. it somehow doesn't bother me to the point of hopelessness that i'm this old and never had a relationship or a good job. it's like its just my lot in life and i accept it.

(i think part of why this is is that i can relativize anything. yes, i live in a small, boring place but it's beautiful. yes, i live with my parents but they're fine and we get along. yes, i don't have a career or a steady job but i have savings. etc. so ultimately i come to the conclusion that i'm a privileged person despite it all so maybe things aren't that bad. whether that's a conclusion that just feeds into my resigned nature is a question for another day)

it's already april and for the past 6 months i've been unemployed and barely leave my neighborhood. in fact, 90% of my life has taken place here. days - a week - go by without me leaving the perimeter of the 3 streets i exist in. again, somehow this doesn't really bother me until i realize other people don't actually live like this.

my life is so empty and unfulfilled and yet i'm incapable of realizing that and doing something about it, even though i have the material conditions to do so. why? because it doesn't register as a problem to me. it's just my normal. the same as it always has been. this is the crux of my problem. i'm in too deep.

i live in my own world and have always done so since i was a kid. i won't go into details but the extent to which i'm withdrawn and insulated as a person is kind of impressive. i don't even register the fact i'm lonely, most of the time, even though i spend most of my time in my room, in my house and in those same 3 streets, always alone.

to me, this is already so ingrained that it doesn't even affect me emotionally in my day-to-day life; despite all this, i'm a very calm and relatively happy person. because this life makes me happy. because it's what i've always known and what is normal to me.

now, with all this in mind, 2 things scare me the most:

1) that i'll somehow be "forced" to care for my parents when the time comes so i'll effectively live the rest of my life in the same house i grew up in and in the same town (which, regardless of my parents, is a strong possibility) without being able to leave.

2) that i'll have a health condition - mental or physical - that will suddenly affect my life and prevent me from enjoying it or doing the things i can still do to change it.

then, i also avoid thinking about the fact i might never get to experience love or that i'll die alone and forgotten. but those aren't as prevalent in my thoughts probably because i subconsciously realize that things like love, relationships & real friends are for other people and not a part of my world. i could never have those things because my life as it is simply can't lead me to them - consequently, this is why i don't even feel their absence, it just doesn't register to me (which is why i always see them as something that could happen not to "me" as i am, but to "me" in an alternative universe where i'd be completely different).

i dream about them and i so wish it would happen but i simply Know it will never happen if everything remains the same. it's cause and effect and if the cause remains the same, then the effects will too.

anyway, i don't really want answers to this or solutions, i just needed to put it into words so i get it off my chest and mind. i know what i need to do and i know it takes years (things have already improved a bit since i started therapy in 2015 and age also helps with some things) but hopefully, once i start working in may, things will at least improve somewhat. they will

[troublewithvampires]

@chaieyestea said: What are Salvatore's thoughts about himself in a parental position? Would he be a good father? A strict one? A lax one? Could he be there for a kid at all, physically and emotionally?

//chai i am giving you the biggest platonic smooch on the forehead right now. with tongue. thank you for this.

anyway this is something i think about a completely normal amount (<- lying through his teeth). this is going under the cut since it's fucking long lmao

What are Salvatore's thoughts about himself in a parental position?

so. fatherhood isn't something salvatore has ever really thought about or considered as a possibility for himself. i think when he was younger he might've idly fantasized about it, but it was less out of a desire to be a father and more out of a desire to be The Man Of The House.

baby sal didn't really understand the gender thoughts he was having, only that being told that he could be a housewife and a mom was *viscerally* upsetting to him, and he sometimes retorted that, actually, he'd never do that. he'd never be a *mom*, he'd be a *dad*, if anything.

(his mother interpreted this as him just being a little contrarian asshole as he was often wont to do, rather than it possibly being an indicator of something deeper.)

but, beyond that, sal didn't put much thought into it, and once he started working for the mob, he threw out any idle fantasies about fatherhood. it was never something he was super interested in, and after a certain point he figured he wouldn't be able to take care of a kid anyway. men like him don't have children, and that's fine.

(part of this also tied into sal's internalized ideas about gender and sexuality--he wouldn't be able to have children the "traditional" way for a man, so what was the point?)

then, when sal was with bruno, he actually began considering the idea of becoming a father again. bruno talked about it a lot, and he suggested several times that he and sal should run away together, have some kids, and just... be happy. and y'know, sal really liked that idea, up until bruno made it clear that he expected sal to detransition and be his wife in that scenario, tying sal being a *woman* to the fantasy of being happy and having a family. so sal threw it out again once things ended with bruno, and he decided that was it. he wasn't meant to have a family, even *if* he wanted to.

and then sal was killed and became a vampire, and he had much bigger things to worry about.

so, to finally answer your question: salvatore doesn't think of himself as a parental person. even when he considered it previously, he didn't take it super seriously. he isn't caring enough, and he's not a *good* man, so who would trust him with a kid?

(and then he ends up with a kid anyway, but this post isn't about izzy.)

Would he be a good father? A strict one? A lax one?

salvatore is actually pretty decent as a father! he's not so good at the emotional aspect, but he actually... treats kids as people. which sounds weird but in all verses where he ends up raising kids, he has a particular kind of gruff compassion for them where he doesn't like to talk down to them and instead tries to be like... honest and upfront and *listen* to them. he's not very good at it every time, emotionally stunted as he is, but he's actively trying.

he's the product of a household where he was treated as a burden by the adults in his life, and he'd never want to make a kid feel that way if he could do anything about it.

though, and i hate to say it, i think sal is actually a bit better equipped in many ways to care for a daughter than a son. not to say he's *incapable* of raising a son, but that would require him to deal with the toxic masculinity he was raised with *much* more directly or risk actually hurting the kid. (not to say he wouldn't have to with a daughter, but still! sal's got very bad internalized ideas about gender, and it's hard to drop those.)

in terms of how strict he'd be, i think sal would be pretty strict, but not overly so. he expects his kids to have their shit together and not slack off, but i also think he's not the type to just dish out abusive punishments in the name of discipline. again, he treats kids as people rather than little aliens or dogs he has to train and keep in line.

sal values loyalty and obedience, but not *unquestioning* obedience. he's the kind of dad who's completely fine with his kids calling him a dick and not showing him *respect* if they feel he doesn't deserve it. but at the same time, he wants them to understand that he's on their side. even if they disagree, he's on the same side.

so, overall, i think he'd be a pretty good dad by the time he actually has any kids. i'd like to mention tho that he does have previous experience trying to care for a child pre-vampirism, and it goes fucking horribly, but we'll get into that here in a sec...

Could he be there for a kid at all, physically and emotionally?

physically? yes. emotionally? it definitely depends.

salvatore struggles deeply with emotional vulnerability, and though he gets better by the time he ends up with any kids, he's still not *perfect* by a long shot. it's hard for him to be open, and it's hard for him to encourage that same openness in others. however, he's actively trying.

he encourages his kids to just... talk to him, and he can listen. he can't always offer good advice for tricky emotional or social matters, but he can listen and he can take their worries and struggles seriously.

(like in my plotting with teddy, we've talked about sal sitting down with stan and just hearing him out regarding his family and depression, in a way no one has before. actually listening to him and letting him vent. not just brushing him off and taking his struggles and concerns seriously. and in the end, sure, sal doesn't really have any advice to offer, but he can at least make it clear to stan that he's not alone and that there *is* at least one adult in his life who takes him seriously.)

(contrasting this, though, with a scene between victor and sal, when sal is in his mid-20s and victor is 14. victor comes to sal after a traumatic event and seeks out comfort, but sal shuts him down pretty brutally and tells him that he needs to *stop fucking crying* and get his shit together, or he'll be easy prey for any of the men around them. very much speaking from experience, because that's what happened to sal. but at that point, sal isn't capable of breaking the abusive cycles he's been trapped in, and it results in him *really* fucking victor up for a while. post-vampirism, he's much better about this, but pre-vampirism sal is a toxic little cunt with a chip on his shoulder.)

as for being there *physically*, oh, very much so. sal is definitely an overprotective dad in many respects, completely unafraid to throw down to protect them. he's always been an acts of service motherfucker, so the best way salvatore knows how to show affection is *physical* action and being there. no kid of his is gonna wonder if sal cares about them, if he has anything to say about it.

best example for this.. this post isn't about his daughter izzy, but on several occasions, izzy threatens her bullies by telling them that her dad's gonna kill them if they don't stop. and she's not wrong! sal definitely wouldn't just go be violent with a child, even a little *shit* of a child, but he's not afraid to put the fear of god into them a bit if they mes with his baby. sal backs up and protects his own, especially children.

and lastly. i just wanna share. salvatore's approach to parenting in many ways is, like... "no one protected me, and i'm not making the same mistake with you. i'll make sure you stand on your own, but i'll always catch you if you fall."

[incendiorum-arch]

io's hard (to say the least) to romantically ship with so I thought I'd make a post talking about it. io has a very specific type. innocence, pacifism, and positivity will never attract them (in fact, it's very likely to do the opposite). io desires confidence and deadliness above all else. someone who can kill, who can hurt, and despite their feelings on the matter, can, would, and most likely will do it again. people who have trauma tend to appeal to them more, too - as often those people understand why io might act the way they do. to sum it up, io is attracted to people who have gray morals. skewed morals. people who can embrace violence, whether they like it or not. although... io does tend to favor those who like it. [don't be terribly discouraged though, as lucius did not like embracing violence but io loved him beyond words.] I would also like to mention really quickly here that io is also attracted to banter/snark/sass, fiery personalities, and powerful (physically/magically) people. strength of character is something that is fantastic at catching their eye.

speaking of trauma - io carries a shitton of it. they were abused mentally, emotionally, and physically by their parents for 23 years. eighteen centuries has done a whole lot in terms of trying to recover, but io still deals with fits of anger, dissociation, and flashbacks. they're also extremely dependent on alcohol (high functioning alcoholic) and despite their desire to quit, will not seek the help needed for it. love and trust do not go hand in hand with io. like I've said I hate to say it but I genuinely think io is incapable of 100% trust. I trust you... is always followed by the ultimatum, as much as I can. io's concept of trust has been irreparably shattered. there is no fitting the pieces back together no matter how badly either party want it. asking io do you trust me? is perhaps the worst question you could ask. you don't want to hear the answer, unless you're willing to accept io's reasoning. io also does not experience romantic attraction immediately, and when they do finally experience it, it's very rare and only in an already established relationship - they're demiromantic. now you might be going, hey adair where's the good stuff? love and trust do not go hand in hand, yes. but io loves hard. they can easily fall into devotion to an unhealthy degree. they want to help their partner, they want to comfort, they want to cook meals and share kisses and embrace every bit of physical affection they can. inter mundos becomes something that io can use to show their partner the world. week-long vacations wherever they want to go. dinner in another country. io embraces violence. io likes it. they'll fight tooth and nail for their partner. io lets their softer, more playful side show around partners. their humor may be deadpan, but there'll certainly be more of it. they embrace their childish side and let it show around loved ones because they know they can expect acceptance. joining them in childish pursuits only makes their love grow. io's own trauma lends them experience and intimate understanding for those who do have it. this doesn't take away the fact that sometimes things hurt and lashing out at them upsets and hurts them but... they get it? they will, most likely, end up doing the same thing at some point or another (when they don't immediately leap to self isolation). io will always come back and apologize, though. in short, io is complicated and hard to be with. they have enough baggage to fill an entire plane's luggage compartment and then some. but god, they love with every ounce of their being.

[twofoursixd]

* bruna marquezine + she , her + cis woman  –  have you seen  adryanna monteiro  around los angeles ? the  twenty five  year old is usually jamming to  normal girl by sza. word around the city is that they’re  purposeful, yet, they can also be  austere, but you didn’t hear that from me. they’re currently a  personal manager  and are typically seen walking the streets of los angeles with  what seems to be an endless supply of vintage business formal from the dry cleaners. when i think of them, i think of  an intellect that remembers everything , a fear of failure more crippling than life itself , drafting business emails at the club .  let’s hope the city treats them good!

𝟎𝟎𝟏. 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒 :

𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 :   adryanna monteiro . most often goes by ' adry. '

𝘢𝘨𝘦 :  twenty - five

𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘯 :  malibu , california

𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘶𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 :  personal business manager .

𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 :  + purposeful , benevolent , level - headed   - austere , neurotic , all work and no play !

𝘩𝘰𝘨𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦 :  ravenclaw 

𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 :  lawful neutral

𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 :  5'8

𝟎𝟎𝟐. 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐎 :

anything one assumes about what adry was like as a child is probably true : straight a student , countless extracurriculars , focused and angelic , valedectorian and an ivy league shoe - in . it's easy , admittedly , when your father owns a metalworking business that sells to major brands and your mother is a malibu housewife spending every weekend hosting a new mixer to help you bump elbows with someone who can get you to a new height .

the middle child , adry was quite content being the quiet one in the middle , as her older sister caused all the drama of a social media star and her younger sister was the forever baby . adry , lost in books for almost her entire childhood , found comfort in self sufficiency , organizing the lives of those around her , knowing she'll always get the stamp of approval from her parents for forever being composed and timely .

college is a breeze and her career brings her back to southern california . she's too smart to not be her own boss but misses the pressure of having to keep everything in line as she had with her sisters growing up . what better for a control freak like herself than to go into management for the rich and famous of los angeles ?

adry makes a name for herself by managing actors , musicians , and other hot topic celebs , finding herself spending more time thinking of work than she does about herself . it makes her the best at what she does , but what others point out with concern is that it also makes her a robot at best .

𝟎𝟎𝟑. 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

i   wanted   to   provide   a   sort   of   foil   to   the   usual   ‘   bratty   rich   girl who grew up w money  ‘   trope by   having   adry   be   a   little   …   subdued   ?  

she’s   really   the   epitome   of   all   work   no   play   ,   emotionally   stunted   and   in   complete   refusal   to   allow   anything   to   derail   her   ambitions   .   she’s   truly   taken   in   all   her   pageantry   training   on   how   to   be   composed   and   unapproachable   ,   has   maybe   only   been   spotted   smiling   twice   ,   and   it’s   rumored   that   she   is   PHYSICALLY   incapable   of   crying   bc   she’s   that   monotone   and   stony   .

  she’s   incredibly   guarded   and   has   an   obsession   with   perfection   and   the   complete   control   of   the   circumstances   around   her  .   the   most   COMPOSED   human   being   ,   refuses   to   get   involved   in   mindless   drama   !   when   shit   hits   the   fan   she’ll   just   smile   and   wave   and   then   talk   MAD   shit   to   her   best   friend   while   getting   wine   drunk   later   that   night   fantasizing   about   all   the   insults   she   wishes   she   would   have   spouted   .  

adry comes   across   as   equal   parts   moody   and   incapable   of   emotion   but   she’s   a   deathly   loyal   friend   once   you’ve   forced   her   against   her   will   to   give   you   a   hug  lol   .   she   gets   annoyed   when   any   of   her   clothes   have   a   wrinkle   and   if   she’s   in   a   bad   mood   you   will   be   SURE   to   know   !  

despite   her   frosty   ice   queen   disposition   ,   she’s   renowned   for   her   passion   for   solving   the   issues   of   the   world   and   her   success   is   entirely   credited   to   her   own   ambition   and   intellect   fueling   her   :   most   of   her   wealth   is   self   -   made   thanks   to   her   entrepreneurial   endeavors   .  

educated   and   tenacious   ,   she’s   essentially   a   president   in   the   making .   on   the   flip   side   ,   people   are   genuinely   convinced   she   is   incapable   of   having   fun . desperately   needs   to   be   brought   out   of   her   shell   but   won’t   acknowledge   she   has   a   shell   bc   she’s   mighty   Defensive   lemme   tell   u   .  

refuses   to   acknowledge   her   faults   and   has   a   tendency   to   cut   people   off   when   they   become   too   much   of   an   emotional   liability   to   her   ,   the   second   she   feels   herself   emotionally   investing   it   freaks   her   out   and   causes   her   to   self   -   destruct   !  

she   really   is   just   so   obsessed   with   her   own   image   she   can’t   fathom   ever   letting   go   of   the   control   she   enacts   on   every   day   little   things   —   and   she   is   likely   the   most   neurotic   person   that   most have encountered  .   she   doesn’t   find   much   entertaining   but   does   have   a   really   weird   deadpan   humor   but   she’s   not   chaotic   in   the   slightest   since   she   just   wants   to   get   through   the   fucking   day   with   nobody   asking   her   a   dumb   question   .   fuckin   flips   if   her   plans   have   to   be   rearranged   lmao   basically   she’s   just   a   fine   ass   cranky   grandma   n   i’m   working   on   more   as   i   flesh   her   out   more   !

[bylertruther]

I’m not trying to argue I’m actually asking here but Nancy also got the “can’t say I love you” storyline w Steve though didn’t she? in her case she was physically attracted to Steve and actually liked him romantically but just wasn’t in love with him. Couldn’t that be the case for Mike too? I think we all know he’s not actually in love with El but that doesn’t mean he never even had a crush on her.

you're being friendly and respectful, so i don't take this as you trying to argue. don't fret!

nancy did, but does everything have to be the exact same? even the parallels that we do have when it comes to relationships are similar but not exact. what brought mike and el together is also vastly different from what brought steve and nancy together—the nature of their relationships and their approaches to romance are even more dissimilar as well.

either way, that could totally be the case for mike. i prefer gay mike because i feel it especially represents the story of many who have battled with heteronormativity, denial, and the inner turmoil that causes, but i'd be happy with him being any flavor of lgbt.

"the first i love you" playing while el kisses him and tells him she loves him in front of an open closet as he plays clueless and frozen, as well as the one way sign and how he becomes a "shitty knockoff" in lenora, the mention of sodomy in eddie's speech, how he never once has said ily, how he's always likening her to family even in the first time he said ily, how he calls her superMAN, how he can't list anything about her actual personality when talking about her and what he likes about her all make me feel like .... idk. it's deeper than just not loving someone like that. if he had a crush on her, why can't he say anything about her? why is it always about her powers? why does she have to be superior? why is he paralleled to her parental figures CONSTANTLY? why does he tell her she'd be his sister in s1? why is it that he IS good at communicating his emotions and conflict resolution, but only when it comes to will? why is he only capable of doing everything that people push him to do for el when it comes to will? why is it so effortless with will but it's pulling teeth and superficial when it comes to her? if the point is that he does like her like that, but he just doesn't love her? why does he feel like he'd lose her if the issue is that he does like her, but he just doesn't love her yet or feel ready to say it YET? why is he so scared that they won't even be able to be friends anymore if they already HAVE broken up and it's not like they became mortal enemies after?

like yeah he said it's because he was afraid that day would hurt more, but why can't he be emotionally available with her anyway? why are their scenes always/usually lighthearted compared to byler's romantic and serious tone? why do they never have a genuine and emotional heart to heart or a serious conversation if they do like each other but don't love each other?

like. where is the real deal serious romance. it's not like mike was incapable of that, because season three shows him, as i said, doing everything right with will but not with her. he does have the capacity and the intelligence, he just doesn't show that with her. and it's like... if he does like her like that... why not show it? in a serious way, not just making out in your room from dusk till dawn but never actually talking to each other? why is he a shitty knockoff and not being himself? why is HE the one always facing homophobic comments directly that are specifically aimed at homosexual men?

mike can be anything and we won't know for a while, but i just see a lot of myself reflected in him and i know that his experience is especially realistic for many men and women out there, especially those that lived in his era in such a conservative place and family. when i say i prefer gay mike, i'm not making a statement that everyone else is dumb and wrong for not agreeing. that's just what i think, because they could've played the "i genuinely like her romantically As A Person And Individual" much better than they did in s4 but they didn't. again, i don't care at the end of the day as long as he isn't straight lol. we can all think whatever we want, we should just be wary of the things that we say and use as support for our headcanons or speculation.

[bumblebeerror]

oh jesus christ you're driving me up a fucking wall, dude.

how long have we been going back and forth now?

i was just trying to help you when i offered medical advice. i've been in and out of hospitals since i was a kid and met many different doctors, so i do have a lot of medical knowledge. i was just trying to be helpful.

"novella sized asks" WELL EXCUSE ME FOR CARING AND GIVING A FUCK. I DIDN'T KNOW SHOWING AN OUNCE OF PASSION OR EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT IN SOMETHING WAS A FUCKING CRIME. I AM SO SORRY FOR PUTTING EFFORT INTO MY COMMUNICATION AND WRITING. YOU HAVE MY SINCERESTS APOLOGIES.

i already said what the benefit of being bullied is. it made me stronger, more determined and more resilient. i don't cry anymore and i get back up when somebody pushes me down (which is what you're attempting to do me right now).

i did try to improve myself many times, that's whole point. and i failed each and every time. it's not that i don't want to improve, it's that i CAN'T improve. i am physically, emotionally, mentally, biologically incapable of improving myself and my life. i just can't.

"By all means, be miserable and remain scared and alone." you think i have a choice in that matter? that's how it'll be whether i like it or not. nice sarcasm and mocking tone, though. i'm surprised it actually took you that long to start hating me. most people hate me as soon as they see me.

"similar lived experience" i'm sorry, but you don't know what it's like. you just don't. your life was never anything like mine. if it was, you wouldn't be in the position you are in currently.

i am not trying to scaremonger you. i am trying to warn you of the dangers that exist in our society. i am trying to help you. i also wasn't implying that you'd go out of your way to put yourself in danger. i said that when you inevitably come across dangerous, evil people by chance, your worldview might cause you to see good in them that is not there which would in turn out you at a higher risk of getting hurt by them.

"Someone intent on being violent toward me will not care if I think they have the basic right to being treated like a human." EXACTLY. no matter how "kind" you are to them, they will still hurt you. so there's no point in fighting for the rights of genuinely bad people. all they will do is use those rights to violate other people's rights, which may be your own.

i'm not "feigning" concern for your well-being. i DO genuinely care. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I WASTE HOURS EVERY DAY WRITING THESE LENGTHY RESPONSES TO YOU?! BECAUSE I CARE!

i said tumblr users would make bad parents because most of them are terminally online. terminally online people make bad parents.

i have nothing in common with that disgusting man. i don't look like him, i don't act like him, i don't exist like him. just because we're both extreme doesn't make us similar. the comparison is completely unwarranted.

you're accusing me of being condescending? if we're gonna play that game, then you're extremely patronizing to me! insultingly so!

YOU'RE NOT MY DAD! PLEASE STOP ACTING PATRONIZING ME LIKE I'M YOUR CHILD. STOP IT. I AM NOT YOUR SON.

M8, calling you on how you’re speakin’ to me isn’t pushin’ you down.

All I did was be blunt - I never said I hated you. I do find it annoying when others give me unsolicited medical advice and talk to me as if I am not a 27 year old who deals with the various ways the world hates me on a daily basis. I’ve stopped being nice to you, nothing more. You are scared and alone, and you are openly refusing to continue to try to improve your circumstances because your attempts failed in the past. If you want a medical term, look up “Learned helplessness”.

Just what is your goal here, my guy. What’s your desired outcome for this conversation. Because I’ve got zero idea what you want from me.

You’re on anon. Literally if you hate responding to me, you have every opportunity to not respond and you lose no credibility, nobody knows your url.

[wordtowords]

Chick-A-Chick-A BOOM! The Residual Effects of War

residual - adjective - remaining after the greater part or quantity has gone (Google).

There can be no debate. Nothing good comes from full-scale destruction. Obviously, the weightier the war, the more consequential the effects on the people who experienced the fray head-on in the trenches. Yet the deleterious outcome or outcomes are not limited to the participants. Successive generations can feel the sting of violent opposition. Hatred can obliterate the capacity to love over decades. 

Case in point: take the damaged men of my generation, most aptly named the Baby Boomers. The moniker is not meant to stand as onomatopoeia attached to the soundtrack of battle as in "Boom went the bombs" (but if the shoe fits...). No doubt, boom could be a play on the word boon (windfall) or the slang term booming (as in increasing), representing the surge in population after World War II. Let's face it, after being deprived of physical love for such a long time, the soldiers wanted to make up for lost time,"boom-boom"legitimately with their significant others, and they did. The results of which produced about 2.5 babies per household, many more if the vet dads ascribed to a specific religion. Yet the shoe does fit in the literal sense. Many Boomers are suffering from the after effects of the bombs that fell around their desperately ducking dads on the battlegrounds. They are damaged goods and got that way due to the residual effects of the war. Sorry, men of my generation. You are inextricably blemished, and I have the common sense to prove it.

World War II left its participants torn, bleeding, not merely physically (in some cases), but psychologically. Most who had survived combat walked away with PTSD. There was no way around it. However, these men were expected to "get over" their feelings perceived as "weak." Of course, they couldn't do it themselves; consequently, having no choice, they went on with their daily lives, thankful to be alive. These psychologically impaired men continued on to become the flawed fathers of Boomers, who couldn't authentically be available for their children. The halved vets were incapable of being whole, and their sons, who really needed them as role models (Moms couldn't do everything but often did), found them to be feckless examples as absentee parents. 

The most tragic residual effect of World War II? Male Boomers' inability to love. Okay, fine. I'm not saying all of them are cursed in this sense, but many of them are. (Most of the single ones are. Believe me.) Just listen to the complaints of us female Boomers, who often are creased as well but who have ironed out better and can function well emotionally because we are wired that way. There are men of my generation who hold topnotch degrees and successful positions in their places of employment, but these same people can't seem to love in the true sense albeit they think they can. Ironically, they can commit to academia and the demands of their vocations, and perhaps even their offspring, but they are clueless when it comes to intimacy in the form of romantic love, hence the growing rate of divorce and mass loneliness. As for the predecessors of the Boomers, are they better off? I think not. Many of them can't commit to anything at all, no less love.

Maybe the defect I'm underscoring has nothing to do with war at all? Maybe it is just part and parcel of human nature? I can't give you a definitive answer because my thesis is based on opinion and personal experience. But this I do know to be factual. Nothing good comes from war. So if you feel the solution to the miscellaneous confrontations making front-page news today is bombing the antagonists all to oblivion, think again. A solution can never fall under the nomenclature of HATE and pan out well. I think Martin Luther King, Jr. whose birthday we recently celebrated, said it best: "Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." 

So man up, Boomer men, and learn how to love your women well. Gender and generational differences aside, we all need to stop blaming our parents for whatever they might have or might not have done and commit to full-scale love.

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

The Soul Song

by Sparkling_Death

As trees lay bare in the forest melodies ring out, weaving through the trees, heard by a little girl who takes comparison to her father strictly as a compliment, comparison to a father who had an occasional tendancy to break rules and tell stories along the way.

(Don’t worry about the tags I’m physically incapable of writing sad endings)

Words: 2383, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: QSMP | Quackity SMP

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Tallulah (QSMP), Chayanne (QSMP), Tilín (QSMP), Alexis | Quackity, Wilbur Soot, Phil Watson | Philza, Kristin Rosales Watson, Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF) (mentioned), TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF) (mentioned)

Relationships: Chayanne (QSMP) & Wilbur Soot & Tallulah (QSMP) & Phil Watson | Philza, Alexis | Quackity & Wilbur Soot & Tallulah & Tilín (QSMP), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Alexis | Quackity/Wilbur Soot, Kristin Rosales Watson/Phil Watson

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Witchcraft, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Character Death, character resurrection, Death is not permanent because the author is emotionally attached, The souls of the dead make an appearance, Wilbur Soot is a Witch, sbi, SBI family are all witches, Quackity is some sort of eldritch being, The eggs are all human, +Witches are not innately magical beings. They are humans who learn THE CRAFT, Good Parent Wilbur Soot, Good Parent Alexis | Quackity, Good Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Happy Ending, I write these fics to heal the deep scars QSMP lore has inflicted upon me