I think it’s ridiculous the way people are allowed to be assholes to me but I’m not allowed to say they’re mean. They can call me whatever, no problem, but I say, “Hey, you’re being mean,” and suddenly it’s crickets, like. The hypocrisy is blatant.
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it's so funny to me that caleb and veth really did just trade off the job of intensely pining for the other at like the halfway point of the campaign. like, imo, nott in the early days did not behave in any real romantic or even romance-adjacent ways toward him--I imagine it would be very hard to even think in that way when you hate what you look like so much, have such low self-esteem, and are actively lying about your entire past, including a secret husband. caleb, on the other hand, is kind of diving directly back into the sort of relationship he had with astrid and eadwulf. very close, very intimate, we-huddled-for-warmth-together-and-oops-it-led-to-something-else sort of thing. he is the one who expresses that he's fine with it if people think he and nott are romantically together when they're talking to keg. nott is the one who pushes back on that. he calls her his life partner. unknowingly, he compares his feelings for nott to nott's feelings for yeza. his behavior only really starts to change after he finds out about veth's husband because suddenly all of that other stuff is rendered inappropriate in retrospect. but even then he compliments her to yeza over dinner in the most awkward of ways, he admits to being jealous, he calls yeza "a lucky man" to have her, he stares at veth and yeza closed bedroom door for far too long, he creates an entire arcane tower with room for her family just so she'll stay with him. in general, his behavior is not, um, totally and completely platonic about it, you know?
like, veth's feelings for caleb are canonical and therefore indisputable in their existence, but caleb in the early days was not that dissimilar to how veth was acting near the end of the campaign. it really paints a picture of "right person, wrong time" in the way things just didn't line up for them. or, as veth would say: "in another world, maybe"
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The original in the bottom
Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny
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Don’t think I ever quite said what my LGBTQ+ headcanons are for the boys, so these are my current thoughts! Always changing of course but this is what I feel most strongly right now.
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okay so you know how it goes: fourteen comes to life in thirteen's clothes. and they're both too short and too loose and entirely too bright for his frame of mind. they worked with a doctor who hid everything behind a too wide smile; not so much with a doctor whose pain and tiredness is written across his face
he needs to change. obviously
and then the star beast starts, and fourteen leaves the tardis, and he's still in thirteen's clothes
he just. he doesn't know. how does he choose new clothes? he feels wrong. how will wearing something else change that?
(donna tells him that it's christmas, mate; it's bloody freezing. maybe wear longer trousers, yeah? also he's both too young and too old to wear braces. just a friendly note)
he doesn't have to explain who he is to the unit scientist, not with those clothes. instead he talks about how he doesn't understand why he looks like this. why he is this. why this face? why isn't he someone new?
actually. maybe he is someone new. was he ever this open before? hm
why do you look like that, sylvia hisses, trying to hide him from the daughter he destroyed ruined left
it's a lottery, he replies, purposely ignorant
he still has his thirteenth self's screwdriver. it's too small in his hands
(the whole time they were her, her hands were too small. she didn't like touching anyway, but whenever someone took her hand, it felt wrong. they were too small. sometimes it felt like if she worked fast enough, tinkered about without stopping, she wouldn't have to look at them)
everything goes wrong. his fault, like always
(blimey. of all the things to carry over from the first time he had this face, it had to be the guilt, didn't it?)
you shouldn't look like that, the doctordonna says, and he runs a hand down his face with a tired laugh
no, the doctordonna says, not the face. a hand reaches out to grasp at the collar of his shirt, at the dangling earring chain. this isn't you. who are you, doctor?
like he knows. like they've ever-
she dies.
she lives. he doesn't deserve it. it isn't about him. he still doesn't deserve it
we're letting it go, donna says, and he looks down at himself, at another him's clothes, another him's screwdriver
well, she never was subtle, his donna
the tardis is gorgeous, though when isn't she. he tries to show off his new console to donna, and she rolls her eyes, and drags him off to the wardrobe
unlike normally, where all the clothes are scattered about, the new tardis wardrobe now also has a line of wardrobes stood against the wall. fifteen of them, to be exact
the last wardrobe is open. and empty
he goes to the second to last, and opens it to reveal a wide array of rainbow patterned shirts. she probably would've hated for her things to be organised like this. always creating mess so she wouldn't have to think about anything important. he laughs. and he takes off the sky coloured coat and the worn boots and the earrings and gently places them inside. tag, he thinks, as he closes the doors
and then he moves down to the eleventh wardrobe, full of brown coats and blue suits and neatly pressed shirts and pairs of converse. and he stands in front of it. and he wonders
after a moment, donna's like wait do you want me to leave?? you never cared about nudity before, did you? and he's like oh actually i do feel more self conscious. huh. weird.
he doesn't have to say, i think i'm a different person. not to donna. she just gives him a smile, and a shoulder nudge, and tells him she'll see him in the console room
the last wardrobe is empty
he takes a breath, and then goes to rummage about in the rest of the clothes
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if you would all allow me to be delusional for a moment - so i went back to staring Very Hard at the neighborhood map and. um. well. im chucking my marbles out the window! as always take all of this with a Hefty grain of salt!
i thought i saw a weird pixel in Frank's window so i zoomed in. then i took a screenshot, and fucked with the contrast/brightness settings. and uhhhhhh
UHHHHHH
FRANK??? HELLO???? HE'S IN THERE? i'm pretty sure im Not seeing things bc that is definitely a vague gray tube-outline with a yellow spot in the shape of Frank's nose. hidden in the dark. and i might be seeing things but in the pane next to his face it kinda looks like his hand is on the window? but! Frank's in there! what the fuck!
so naturally i slowly scrolled through the neighborhood Zoomed The Fuck In. obvi there's nothing in Home's eyes, and Barnaby's & Sally's single visible windows(?) are closed. I couldn't find any out-of-place pixels in Julie's or Poppy's.
but! Eddie's kinda freaked me out a little! look at this shit!
on the top left pane... are those fingerprints pressing into the glass? and in the lower left, is that a fucking Face peering out? a creepy ass face that almost looks like some sort of mask? there seems to be another Shape in the upper right... another face perhaps?
and then there's the weird window shine in the lower right (along with maybe Another face...). it almost looks like a string of letters. there isn't a single pattern/design like that anywhere else in the neighborhood. what's up with that....
oh and also, just went back to double check the post office's display window
there seems to be another face - all the way to the right in the darkness. judging by the shape of the paler (yellowish?) pixels between what must be eyes, i think that's Eddie. and i think i see ears and a hat... not sure though. this one is really tough to see but it's There
(side note: Eddie is totally fucked, isn't he? between the faces(?) and hands behind his door, Home sitting in his display, and the hyacinths by his building, the emphasis on his memory (or lack-thereof) in a project that is, in a sense, About memory... i'm concerned! and eating it tf up! hell yeah lets get funky!)
now i couldn't see any, like, concrete Faces or anything in Howdy's store. but! you can kinda see inside! observe~
in the big open window, you can kinda make out some sort of container on a counter and what might be shelves or a kind of brick pattern. and then above the 100% sign... hold on are those fuckign Eyes? lets take a look zoomed in & without the image adjustments!
yeah those uh. i think those are eyes. Wally-esque eyes peering out of the darkness. though they also mildly remind me of eyespots on insect wings. butterfly eyespots, perhaps. inch resting indeed...
WAIT I LIED!!! there DOES seem to be another string of letter-like symbols in the neighborhood, not just the post office's window shine. now it could be just a wild coincidence, but at the same time it seems kind of... purposeful. like that's not normal shading/coloring.
check out the blue window border on Howdy's Place, next to the apples. the lighter blue pixels seem Arranged. i think i see a clear N, and either an R or a P... along with some other symbols that i don't recognize as anything. the lower ones look kinda like faces? what could the top one be? is any of it anything or am i looking too hard?
in short: they're watching us watch them and there's way more to the map than initially meets the eye....
(edit: i've added a reblog w/ the images outlined! badly outlined but a clearer View of what i see nonetheless! + some notes on more little things outlining helped me notice)
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Creature. (The rendered ones are referenced from manga panels)
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There is an entire category of superhero that became a superhero because they wanted friends and I find it truly hilarious that the Young Avengers, arguably some of the most badass heroes in Marvel, all joined the team because they were lonely
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do girl jeri and boy jerry exist explicitly to torment me
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Small snippet of Mother Earth and Her Infinite Sky (preview) by @silverjirachi ! Admittedly very compressed down to fit into a single page. But still!
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Today, is the first day in 23 months when I finally heard some good news from within russia, about politics no less.
As you probably haven't heard, because this theme is being agressively ignored by all possible media, 15-17 march is the date of next presidential election in russia. If you have laughed after reading this statement, then congratulations, you pretty much know everything about it, hence why no media coverage. But there should be.
Ekaterina Shulman, who has a PhD in political sciences, who has been one of the most enlightening sources on all matters russian-politics and autocrasy-related, has been handedly calling the oncoming election an 'electoral event', meaning the current system will not allow any real election to take place (and it never really did), but will instead make an illusion of the 'winner' being fair.
(btw 'election' advertisements and notices have been going under the banner of the letter V, which you can consider fair since 'election' is 'выборы' in russian, so using the same letter makes sense, but we all know who this big letter references, don't we, same way as all the militarist zealots are uniting under letter Z)
Yesterday, she held a stream with Boris Nadezhdin, who is currently running for presidential candidate by trying to gather citizen votes.
The reason you should care about this, is that Nadezhdin is the only candidate, who is openly critical of Putin,
he has been the public voice of opposition for the russian autocracy for more than 20 years,
the stream he held with Ekaterina could be considered an extremely risky move, enough to send him to jail for this move alone, since she has been declared a foreign agent for a long time (current brand of quality for russians),
he has opened up multiple vote booths across the world, so that political refugees (which is exactly what all the russians abroad are) could safely vote, as the government has already considered denying them their constitutional right to do so,
and he has presented the plan for his presidential reign, starting with: releasing all the political prisoners and immediately starting peace talks with Ukraine.
If you think that those are just empty words, well, they might be, though I can only pity the person who would dedicate more than 20 years of their life on empty promises, especially ones that can easily get you imprisoned for life or killed. I am not joking.
The reason there is 'unanimous agreement' of russians and the media of russians regarding the Invasion of Ukraine and other political topics, is that the political filed in this forsaken country has been carefully curated and all unsactioned-by-Kremlin opposition immediately eliminated for longer than I have been alive.
I live with the weight of just living my life in this country being a daily contributor to committing war crimes in Ukraine, and inside Russia. The reason I'm writing this in english on tumblr, which, hey, lgbt is considered extremist propaganda and will get you in jail, and tumblr even markets itself as the most lgbt-friendly social site, is that there is no way to talk about this in russia. And each time, I browse the politics or russia tags here I see the same zealous aggression which russians are called terrorists for, directed back at all russians. I took it for a long time, because there was no way to dispute this claim, I felt and continue to feel shame for this forsaken country or being related to it, and because every day this country exists ukrainian and russian people are forced into the meatgrinder.
No more. or well, no more feeling shame over it, the guilt will remain long after even the end of the Invasion.
Boris Nadezhdin's (btw his surname almost literally translates to Hopeful) electoral booths have been having full rows of people wishing to sign a petition to make him electable for presidential run. People in Siberia stood in line in -40 C (granted, normal siberian weather, but still, you wouldn't want to be out and about for too long in that kind of cold, even when accustomed to it) to sign a petition for him. At the moment of writing he has reached around 70k, out of 100k needed to be legally allowed to petition for presidential run (sidenote: that number is astronomically high for a number of reasons, so him getting that close is a big win too)
(this video covers the current news of Nadezhdin's campaign pretty well, it also has hand-done english subs)
So yes. You're not allowed to call all russians terrorists any longer, untill they are proven Zealots. There are literally thousands of russian people voting against Putin's reign, they are donating money to this campaign to help it grow too.
In a country, which has never really been a free space to be able to discuss politics, much less actively participate in them or have an informed opinion on them, and which has spent decades curating political apathy in it's people, these events are WILD.
Granted, the possibility of Nadezhdin being allowed to actually run for president is astronomically small, the country is still an autocrasy. Still, participation this high is anything-politics related is phenominal, and I wish to celebrate that, whatever may come in the future.
Here are some additional russian sources available to english-speakers to learn more:
The Russian State of Mind, a brilliant lecture by Ekaterina Shulman, PhD in political science, updated with data from october 2023
Maxim Katz channel, he covers politics and subtitles his videos by hand in english, I've linked another video of his above
Meduza newsletter has an english department
Tamara Eidelman covers history, mythology and related topics, her lectures are fascinating to listen to and have english voiceover
Yuri Dud does interviews with english subs
Any content creator with the (obligatory) foreign agent (иностранный агент) warning is good to listen to. This means the author said something not to the current governmen'ts liking, or not Enough liking of russian system, so good for them for having an actual opinion.
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Red Hood Characterization
This is really long so I'm putting a cut here, I've been thinking about Jason Todd's character motivations and the question of whether or not his actions are based in a Moral Code (I don't think so, not to say he's without any morality) and I talk about that in more depth here.
I saw someone say on here that Titans: Beast World: Gotham City was some of the best Jason Todd internal writing they'd seen in a while, and I've been a Red Hood fan for 8 years or so now? pretty much since I read comics for the first time, so I went and checked out and I thought it was good! The way the person I saw talking about it as if it was rare and unusual made me wonder though, because as well-written as i thought his stances on crime were, there wasn't really anything in it that went against the way I conceptualize Jason?
This kinda plays into a larger question I've been thinking about for a while with Jason though, which is that, do people think that the killing is part of a fundamental worldview that motivates him a la batman, and that worldview is the reason he does the things he does?? Because 8 years ago i was a middle schooler engaging with fiction on the level that a middle schooler does, so I simply did not put much thought into it beyond "poor guy :(" but ever since I actually started trying to understand consistent characterization, I don't really see Jason as someone who's motivated by a moral code in his actions the way batman or superman is!
tbh my personal read is that he's a very socially-motivated guy, his actions from resurrection to his Joker-Batman ultimatum in utrh always seemed to me like every choice made leading up to his identity reveal was either a. to give him the leverage and skill necessary to pull off his identity reveal successfully, or b. to twist the knife that little bit more when he does let Bruce find out who he is. Like iirc there's a Judd Winick tweet like "yeah tldr he chose Red Hood as his identity because it's the lowest blow he could think of." And I think that's awesome, I think character motivations rooted so deeply in character's relationships and emotions are really fun to read! I also think it's where the stagnation/flatness of his character comes from in certain comics, because if his main motivation is one event in one relationship that passes, and he is not particularly attached to anything in his life or the world by the time that comes to pass, it's a little harder to come up with a direction to go with the character after that, because there isn't much of a direction that aligns with something the character would reasonably want? But I do think solving this by saying "all of the morally-off emotionally driven cruelty he did on his way to spite Batman was actually reflective of his own version of Batman's stance that's exactly the same except he thinks it's GOOD to kill people" isn't ideal. To be fully honest, it seems to me like he never particularly cared one way or the other about killing people to "clean Gotham of crime," he just did everything he could to get the power necessary to pull off his personal plans, and took out any particularly heinous people he encountered along the way (like in Lost Days.) Not to say I think the fact he killed people keeps him up at night anymore than everything else in his life events, I just never really thought he was out there wholeheartedly kneecapping some dude selling weed or random guy robbing a tv store for justice.
Looping wayyy back to my question, Is this (^) contradictory to the way he's written/the overall average perception of the character? Because like I enjoyed his writing in Beast World i have zero significant issue with anything there, I just didn't believe it would be a hot take, like yeah, that is Jason. It's been a while since I've read utrh and lost days, but I don't think my takeaway directly contradicts either of those too bad iirc. Idk all this to say I think Jason killing and being alright with killing is an obvious and objective fact, but i guess i've always seen it as more of a practical tactic than a moral belief, and I think taking the actions made during the lowest points of a character's life where he is obsessively focused on this ONEEEE thing and trying to apply it as a Motivating Stance to everything he's done after that, doesn't really follow logically for me.
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it wouldn't surprise me that, despite sanji being the literal cook of the crew, he had an eating disorder (ofc trigger warning here for eds, child abuse, starvation and, y'know, sanji's background in general).
he experienced the most traumatic years of his life trapped inside a fucking cell, with a metal helmet around his head and only eating when his father let him. which was 'only when the kid needs it', probably. which leads to judge saying 'i couldn't even kill my son' and it can translate to 'at least i kept you alive'. and not to turn this into irl trauma, but abusive parents constantly use the 'keeping you alive and giving you food' excuse (the bare fucking minimum) to guilt trip you into thinking that they're good and that you're exaggerating how bad they treated you because, well, at least they kept you alive, didn't they?
so here, sanji sees food as a form of loving but in the sense of 'at least my dad didn't kill me. that's something'. so his vision towards food remains positive but only because of his mom. only because his love language is acts of service and his mom took everything he gave her, even if it was horrific, as a way of saying 'i love all of you. you're perfect because you tried and the fact that you brought me your food is enough to make me feel loved. you're not a mistake' despite his brothers and his father saying that he was, indeed, a mistake and weak for wanting to give food to others instead of just taking it for himself.
both ideas of 'someone who loves you wouldn't let you starve' and 'offering food to others is opening up your heart' coexist inside little sanji's brain.
so it wouldn't be crazy to think that, although sanji loves cooking and his best early memories of it are that book that kept him dreaming while he was locked up, and his mom's words, has a hard time eating food.
besides, sanji is used to giving, not taking. he's not selfish, but actually extremely generous to the point of forgetting about his own well-being. i don't think he actually thinks about how hungry he is until it hurts. until he needs it. he only ate whenever his father let him so he wouldn't starve, and the only thing that made him feel well about food was the fact that he could give it to the one he loved and needed it.
sanji doesn't have good experiences eating food, but only cooking it. it's a great representation of his personality as a whole, to be honest.
then the whole zeff thing happens, and he actually almost starves to death and learns what hunger feels like. but once again, zeff saves him and he's the one to be hungry for not letting the kid starve. which might seem similar to what judge did, but 'not letting you starve because i couldn't kill you' isn't the same as 'not letting you starve because i don't want you to die'. sanji learns the difference that day.
he didn't know somebody could be that kind. especially to him, someone who doesn't deserve it (he thinks he doesn't) because, in his house, love only came when you earned it.
and, you know, sanji's like that. sanji's selfless. sanji does everything for others. and so the guilt eats him up first. what zeff did is beautiful and amazing and we love him for it, but we don't know about how that affected sanji at a young age. which only makes him even more selfless and more of a better, kinder, generous person. and that might be bad, considering how little he thinks about himself already-
he learns that throwing away food is awful, and that you have to be grateful for being able to eat. grateful for living. so his don't-waste-food policy is obviously a big part of his personality due to almost dying of starvation and also owing his life to his dad (zeff, the real one, of course. fuck judge).
but that can almost be dangerous because refusing to waste food leads to forcing yourself to eat only because of his concept of what food means.
and then we have luffy in wci saying the whole 'i won't eat anything that you haven't cooked' which is precious and something very beautiful to say to your cook, but that only brings sanji back to 'starving is a form of loving' and 'you can't let someone you love starve'. and no matter how much he wants to force himself to push luffy away, he gives him food because he knows his captain will keep his promise.
sanji feels guilty, once again, but he ends up fixing it.
the thing is, after everything i've said, i don't think it would be weird to think about sanji viewing food as something external. something that isn't for himself. something that he only has control over because it's for others and not for himself, and it's a concept, a form of love, and not a need. because he does not feel hungry. when it comes to food, he feels responsibility and guilt and love... but never hunger.
hunger is, by all means, a form of selfishness sanji isn't used to unless his body is about to give up completely. he can eat out of pleasure and satisfaction and love for food, but he does it to train a selfless skill that may or may not also be selfish in the sense of 'wanting to be loved and useful'.
so here we have:
seeing food as a form of love because at least his dad wouldn't let him die, but he probably learned to push away the concept of hunger
seeing cooking as the most beautiful way of showing your feelings and efforts and taking care of people
not knowing the concept of hunger due to his own selflessness
scratch the first one, actually starving for others is a form of loving. he will never let the people he loves starve even if it means he dies in the process.
he can't waste food because that would be insulting and disrespectful. no matter the context.
and i'm just saying (and this whole thing is extremely self-indulgent and me projecting again and again) that it wouldn't be surprising to me if he had some issues when it comes to eating and making food for himself.
it's not that he thinks he doesn't deserve food, it's just the thought that he doesn't need it. going back to his past it could be seeing hunger as a form of weakness (not when it comes to others. never when it comes to others), both because of what his family taught him men should be like, and the fact that the manliest man he knows used starvation as a form of love.
so it's seeing hunger as something that makes you weak, but only when it comes to himself because of course, he wouldn't apply the same rules for him as for everyone else. he's just like that.
he thinks about others first, and himself second. always second. and the thought of eating and needing it only comes when it's too much. and when that time comes, the voices in his head tell him that he's weak. and again, i don't think he sees himself as undeserving of food because he has this whole thing about everybody deserving to eat. but he has never played with the same rules as the rest, always a few steps behind, so if he can't fight the thoughts in his head contradicting his morals, that's just how he is.
not to mention the 'don't waste food' part which also would make him feel guilty about not being able to eat if the thoughts of not deserving food and being weak for needing to eat become too much. he can't eat because he doesn't deserve it and because he's weak. and he can't starve, because that would mean wasting food.
so, you know, sanji is out of options here.
if some days sanji just casually decides not to eat- forgets to prepare himself a meal while his crew enjoys his food... that's just the way he is, isn't it? and if he lies about it, it's just another form of love, keeping them away from his problems.
besides, controlling hunger and controlling food is the only way he has to take control of his messy life. when something is out of reach, the unstoppable thing called life he has never been able to control, at least he can choose not to eat. he can choose to starve, this time, with the comfort of knowing he won't. he can choose not to eat this time, not like all of those times when food was controlling him instead.
at least the strawhats will never, ever, starve if he's around. but of course, nobody thinks about asking the cook if he wants to eat. that would be absurd. and it's impossible to think sanji would have some sort of issue with it! sanji, the cook, who keeps telling them not to waste food, not eating? that would be absurd and too selfless to make sense.
that's just the way he is.
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Heyyyy :3 and could you do how Kate laswell would help you when your on your period?? :D
Hey! Sure I can!
Laswell Helping Her S/O on Their Period
Laswell doesn’t get periods anymore, which she couldn’t be happier about. Every time she did get her period she felt as though she was going to die. Her cramps were bad, everything else hurt as well, she was moody and probably almost decked someone several times throughout her life. She always thought getting her period was unnecessary. She's a lesbian, she was never going to do the devil’s tango with a man and get pregnant. Laswell always wished her body would understand that as well, but alas. However, she would feel a lot of pity and sympathy when you’re on your period as she knows how much it can suck. While she may not actively track it, she’ll always know when you’re about to get your period, being able to identify the signs. She’ll make the preparations as well, which can range from getting you some meds, should you need them, to buying chocolate or other snacks. Hell, she’ll buy you the best heating pad she can find as well. However, she still won’t be too big on cuddling with you, unless you insist on her doing so. She’s not the warmest person around, so she likely won’t be able to ease your pains like that either. However, she’ll bundle you up in a blanket and watch bloopers of your favorite shows with you until you’re laughing again and it gets a bit better. Although she’s usually okay with doing the chores on her own, when you’re not doing well because you’re menstruating she will actively encourage you to stay in bed and let her handle everything. Cleaning the dishes should be the least of your concerns for the time being. Makes you tea, coffee or maybe some hot chocolate. You won’t need to move a single finger. If she really needs to, then she’ll change the bed sheets as well if you bled on them. She won’t be mad, she gets it. It’s not something you can control, after all. So, all in all, she’ll do her best to take care of you as well as she can. Might take a day off too if you need her to.
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since we all appear to be talking about izzy 'calling the police' on stede id like to offer my silly little two cents:
its not like the navy wasn't actively looking for him anyway??????
at most, izzys actions sped up badminton catching up with stede, but its made very clear that badminton wanted Stede dead well before this, and was willing to use whatever he could to find him- whos to say jackie wouldnt have cut a deal on her own? that any other pirate thats seen them being unsubtle in a port wouldn't take the opportunity to make a quick buck over a guy who is Nobody and holds no influence that could lead to any consequences for them?
in reality izzy is probably the only person who would receive negative repercussions to selling out stede, given his personal connection with ed- any other pirate would probably have gotten away unscathed, anonymous. they likely wouldnt have even been present like izzy was. izzy had personal stakes, anyone else would have taken the money and ran
the way i see it, with or without izzy the events of episode 10 probably would have happened in some degree, izzy just expedited the timeline
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