#I hope these are the right flags too because it was kinda hard to find them

[turtleblogatlast]

Don’t think I ever quite said what my LGBTQ+ headcanons are for the boys, so these are my current thoughts! Always changing of course but this is what I feel most strongly right now.

[freestyle-crocodile-trashpile]

Drunk

Summary:You're drunk and crying at the tiefling party while snuggling with Scratch. Why? He's just that cute

Type:Hcs:Fluff:Dammon X Gn!Reader: Rolan X Gn!Reader: Zevlor X Gn!Reader: Raphael X Gn!Reader: Halsin X Gn!Reader: Karlach X Gn!Reader: Astarion X Gn!Reader

Version:Bg3

Raphael

Hes not even supposed to be there

But when Korrilla told him, he had to see for himself

He laughed at you, seeing you crying and hugging poor old scratch was very entertaining

He would probably just watch for a bit before leaving, knowing he's not supposed to be there

But you if you two got a little something together he'll go over to you and ask what's up

After figuring out its just because he's so cute he'll laugh again

Then he'll leave

Rolan

He was alittle concerned for a moment, wondering why you were crying

He thought something was wrong, then again you were drunk and he couldn't tell if you were just being an idiot

He went with you being an idiot

And he was right

Once he found out why you were crying, it was alittle amusing

But then again poor scratch can't go get more pets from others, he told you

That only made you cry harder and replace scratch for Rolan

Dammon

He'd probably think it's adorable

Might come snuggle with you two if you two got a relationship going

He'll tease you abit, then get worried when he realizes your actually crying

He panicked for a moment

Then found out it's because Scratch is just adorable

He'd agree with you and pet scratch and your hair at the same time

If it calms you down he'll be happy

Zevlor

He doesn't know if he should be worried or not

Worrys anyways

He'd immediately rush to your side and ask what's wrong

After you told him he just sighs and pats your shoulder

He'd probably sit by you for the rest of the night

But if your dating he'll keep a hand on your head

He actually finds it more sweet than amusing

Karlach

She understands why pretty quickly

And gets abit jealous she can't join you too in the cuddle session

After awhile of you just crying over Scratch she'll finally go see what's up

After you told her, she'd laugh and agree with you

If she wasn't so tough, she'd cry with you

She'd sit by your side for the rest of the night

Just smiling as you mumble cute and affection words to scratch

Halsin

He gets worried at first and goes over to you

Kinda like zevlor, alittle worried about your well-being

After figuring out why he basically just says "that's the one."

He loves it

Especially since he's a big nature guy, and seeing you cuddling scratch and crying since he's adorable is a huge green flag

He'd laugh abit and ruffle but yours, and scratchs hair

He'd say your cute as well, which might make you cry harder

Astarion

He saw this all lay out

From the moment Scratch walked up to you, to the moment you stared crying

He thought you were just being an idiot at first, then realized your just drunk

He takes this moment to get closer to you

Laughing at how much you've cried over something so useless

He'd probably not let you drink anymore

And manage to get scratch out of your arms

Scratch

He'd be so happy

His tail wagging so hard his little butt is wagging with it

He'd be so confused too, but your hugging him so he doesn't care

Dog drool and tears covered your face that night

~

[A/n:I love Scratch, we need a patch for just cuddling Scratch. I hope you enjoyed]

[animasola86]

A Filthy Fantasy: Aftercare

Notes: This ties into what happened in A Filthy Fantasy (Part 1 and Part 2) and deals with the repercussions of it. I had intended this to be a reader-revenge-piece, but, uh, something else came out. Please enjoy my probably deepest dive into the personality of Sebastian “I didn't mean it” Sallow.

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!reader

Genre: Hurt, Comfort, Angst, Fluff, mentions of Smut

Warnings: Explicit language, mentions of sexual assault, red flags all around

Word count: 2.4k

Synopsis: Two messed up people. One who manipulates and then apologises, manipulating some more, and a willing victim who blames herself and can't stay mad for long. So many red flags. And still, it's a love story. A very messed up love story.

-- can be read on AO3 too --

A Filthy Fantasy: Aftercare

(For context if you don't want to the read the smut that is A Filthy Fantasy: Sebastian and reader agreed to do a rape fantasy scene (consensual non-consent) and that is kinda what happened when reader found herself being forced to things she didn't initially agree to or wasn't comfortable doing.)

Rolling onto your side once again because you just couldn't find a comfortable position to sleep in, you let out a groan and inhaled sharply when yet another jolt of pain rushed through your aching limbs.

“Are you sure you don't want to go to the Hospital Wing?” you heard a concerned voice from the other side of the bed.

“And tell Nurse Blainey what? My boyfriend tied me to a table and fucked me a little too hard?” you grunted quietly, your voice hoarse and strained because, of course, even your throat hurt. Everything hurt. “No, I'm sure the potion will work any second now...”

You had told yourself that for the last half an hour since you drank that awful concoction he had given you. Exhaling loudly, you rolled back onto your stomach. Everything hurt a little less like this, perhaps because your body remembered the position you were in when you had received all of these aches. Quite ironic.

Next to you, the mattress dented slightly and then you saw Sebastian slowly approaching you, almost tentatively, cautious, an apologetic smile on his face. He lay on his side and watched you, probably tempted to touch you, but you had told him very clearly that you needed a little time to yourself right now.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered, his low voice vibrating in your ear, sending shivers down your spine which caused a horrible chain reaction of shudders and twitches and in the end, you were groaning and whimpering again. Swallowing hard against the pain (and by doing so only increasing the pain in your throat), you closed your eyes and wallowed in your own sorrow for a moment, trying to ignore the boy next to you. “Please let me help you...” he tried again. “I can't stand seeing you like this.”

You only scoffed and breathed loudly through your nose, before you sighed. “It's not your fault,” you fought against your own dark thoughts that tried to remind you why you were in this sorry state. “I did agree to it... well, most of it... and I could have said the safeword... but I didn't...”

He moved a little closer, but he kept his hands away – and you knew he was really fighting with himself right now. “It got a little out of hand, eh?” he whispered.

You opened your eyes and looked at him, long and hard, hoping to convey all the mixed emotions you had swirling inside your heart.

“Okay, a lot, it got completely out of hand!” he quickly rephrased and threw you a sympathetic smile. “Please know that I feel horrible about it...”

“Why?” you simply asked, watching him closely. “Why did you do it?”

He frowned and inhaled deeply, then rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “I... I don't know, it just... happened. You looked so...” You saw him biting his lip. “I couldn't help myself. And that is no excuse, I know that. But... my mind was just full of... the scene we talked about.... and what we didn't talk about... and –” He sighed, then turned his head towards you again, his dark eyes wandering over your face. “I shouldn't have done that, all of it, I shouldn't even have suggested it to you!” He rolled onto his side and came even closer, genuine regret plastered all over his freckled face.

You stared at him, your eyelids fluttering slightly. His eyes were on you, those damn puppy-dog eyes, and you felt your anger and your pain and your overall discomfort dwindling. Before he could succeed in manipulating you out of your feelings once again, you closed your eyes and exhaled loudly.

You heard him shifting beside you. “Will you ever forgive me?” you heard him ask quietly. His question lingered on your mind for quite a while, long seconds, minutes that ticked by without any reaction to it, while you considered it and thought back to what had happened.

And in your pain riddled head there was one thing that kept pushing into the foreground over and over again. “It's on me,” you whispered, voicing the nagging doubt that kept you from completely distancing yourself from the boy next to you. “I could have said anything, at any point, but I didn't... I allowed you to do this, so I... I shouldn't be complaining now...”

“No!” he said firmly and now his hand was on your cheek. Your eyes flew open. “It's not on you! Absolutely not! I... I made you do that, I made you think you wanted it, if anything, it's on me, of course! Do not blame yourself! In that kind of situation... not being able to say anything against it... come on, give yourself a break! I can't even imagine what it must have been like for you... honestly, that you're still willing to talk to me after all of that,” he paused and chuckled darkly. “I do not deserve any of it... I don't deserve you...”

You gave him a strained noise of affirmation, then quickly changed your mind and groaned in disagreement. Furrowing your brows, you clenched your jaw against his subtle touch. You were quickly overwhelmed by your emotions yet again as not only your physical aches throbbed through your body, but also confusion and guilt and regret and all those things you couldn't even name. A tear dropped from your lashes as you blinked quickly and when he moved his thumb over your cheek nonchalantly, you let out a sob.

“Baby, I'm so sorry,” he whispered and when he leaned in and pressed his lips to your forehead, you sobbed even more. He shifted closer and stayed like this, his hand holding your cheek as you felt his warm breath on your hairline. “I didn't mean it...”

The way he said it, those exact words. You'd heard it all before. Numerous times. And you had to remind yourself: this is Sebastian, he's always been like this, running head first into trouble, getting hurt or hurting others, and then he'd apologise afterwards, bowing his head in shame for his brash actions. You knew that and despite it all, you'd fallen in love with him. Despite everything!

There was no rhyme or reason, it was all in your heart, engrained in your soul, those deep feelings you had for him, because after all, he wasn't always like that. He was caring and supportive and sweet and made you feel loved and safe and made you laugh and happy. The way he would hug you, hold you close, kiss you and... more.

What had happened was not the norm. He would never treat you like that. He'd always make sure you were comfortable and alright with what he did and you usually were. And in your haze, in your bottomless love for him, you'd agreed to something that had taken it all a little too far. You could have seen it coming, you had talked about it, he had made it perfectly clear what that scenario was about, and you still had allowed it, agreed to it.

With your aches thrumming through your body, you could see it for what it was now: you had been naïve, completely gullible, and he had indeed used that against you. And it felt as if you were both at fault here. Two stupid, horny teenagers indulging in things they thought might give them a thrill, when the reality of it was so much worse.

Inhaling sharply, you swallowed the lump in your throat, not remembering the soreness of it, and you winced deeply, only sobbing more. He leaned back then, looking at you with a grave expression. Your eyes wandered over his face and you wondered if you could ever look at him without remembering the things he had done to you. Biting your lip, you frowned and looked away, more tears spilling from your lashes.

“Okay that's it,” you then heard him say and without any warning, he suddenly turned you around and lifted you onto his arms, scrambling off the bed with you. Your mouth fell open and you stared at him, too shocked to acknowledge the pain that came from his brash action. “You are in so much pain, you need more than a healing potion,” he explained, his voice low and frantic. “I'm taking you to the Hospital Wing, I'll... I'll tell her you were... abducted and... and assaulted and...”

You gasped and grabbed his face, forcing him to look at you. “No! No. Stop!” you exclaimed equally frantic. “You can't do that! Please, don't!” He stopped and stared at you, as if he had forgotten you were more than a body he could carry around with him for a moment. “Remember what Ominis said? We shouldn't talk about this any more, and he's right! You'll only get into trouble,” you told him quietly, your voice shaking badly. “And... and I don't want that! And I don't want the attention of.... of that, of being a... a victim, you know?” Your thumbs ran over his cheeks imploringly. “Please!” you whispered.

He frowned deeply, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes darker than usual. “But... but you need help... and I... I have to help you!” he urged, sounding so utterly helpless you felt almost sorry for him now.

“Lay me down, please...” you said hoarsely, trying to sound firm. “Let's just... rest... I'll be fine... I'm stronger than I look, okay?”

You watched him intently, ignoring the aching of both your body and your heart. He eventually complied and brought you back to the bed, laid you down carefully and pulled the covers over your shivering body.

You rolled onto your side, forcing yourself not to wince, and beckoned him closer. “Lay down with me,” you whispered and watched him climb into bed with you, keeping his distance, but you grabbed his hand and pulled him closer, until you could snuggle against his chest. He put his arm around you carefully, then gently rubbed your back.

“I feel awful,” he mumbled into your hair as he pressed his lips to the top of your head.

“I know,” you breathed back, holding down a Me too!, because somehow this was about comforting him now.

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know,” you repeated, falling back into that same old pattern of forgiving him yet again. It was what it was. That was the dynamic of your relationship. You would only see it for what it was in moments like these, where your physical pain was bigger than your emotional pain. And that clarity scared you more than you wanted to admit.

You loved him, with every fibre of your hurting body, as you had told him, and it was indeed scary how much you were willing to do and take because he had asked you to. But it was such a rewarding kind of love and you felt almost ashamed admitting to it: but whatever he would do to you, force you to do, you knew that he would be there for you afterwards, he'd care for you, cradle you in his arms, make sure you'd be alright, no matter the consequences.

It was a very twisted way of seeing things, you knew that, but you were both messed up people, you had your baggage and he had his and you shared so much of it also. It hadn't been easy these last years, but in being together and there for each other, you had pushed through and it had only brought you closer.

You took a shuddering breath and leaned back slowly, fighting the urge to wince at your aches, before you looked up at him. His eyes were immediately on you, as if he had been waiting for it. You raised a hand and gently touched his cheek, trailing your fingers over his temple, ignoring the shaking of your digits. He kept rubbing soothing circles on your back and just watched you.

“Tell me you love me,” you then whispered barely audible.

His eyebrows moved slightly upwards. “I love you,” he said quietly. “I love you more than anything in this world... and I –”

You put a finger to his lips and shushed him, knowing what he wanted to say. “I love you too,” you said instead and leaned a little closer, your nose nuzzling against his. “And whatever happened earlier, we will never talk about it again, okay?”

He stared at you. You knew he wanted to protest, but you knew better. This was how you dealt with these things: you never acknowledged them again. That was why you never talked about his uncle's death ever again, not directly at least. You comforted him, were there for him, supported him in his struggles to deal with it, but you never talked about it. And you would never talk about this either. You couldn't. Because admitting to the things that he was capable of only scared you more. And you wanted to love and cherish him and not be afraid of him.

And so you pressed your lips to his and kissed him softly, closing your eyes as you leaned into what mattered most to you at that moment: the comfort of his warm body, his engaging mouth, his soothing touches, him just being there. He kissed you back hesitantly, pulling you a little closer, just holding you.

“Okay,” he whispered against your lips. “But I'm –”

You shushed him once again. “No, it's fine,” you breathed against him, opening your eyes to look at him. “We are fine. Everything is fine.”

He pulled his eyebrows together slightly and you felt his lips trembling against yours. You didn't know if he was as keen in forgetting this as you, but like all those times before, he just followed your lead, he ignored it with you. And just like that you realized that you were just as good at manipulating him as he was at manipulating you.

Be it as it were, you were made for each other. Two messed up souls, desperately trying to hold onto the other in an attempt to not drown in the ever consuming world they found themselves in. A love story made straight in hell. But you always preferred warmer climates anyway.

End notes: Be honest, dear reader, if you were in this situation: would you forgive him? Would you just move on?

To be fair, as our reader is our HL mc, they both went through so much stuff together, I just see it working out for them because of it, if they choose to ignore it like those two did here. Always easier to suppress, definitely not healthy, but easier. And Sebastian is a walking red flag anyway and we are still all here for it, so, yes, I think this is how it would go.

No matter what he did, his lover would always forgive and forget. And you can't convince me otherwise!

I still plan on writing a little revenge piece, he does deserve that too.

[ masterlist ] [ AO3 ]

[sexyinaratkindaway]

Day 14: Puppy Play

Pairing: Rendoc

It came as a surprise to, really, both of them, the first time Doc looped a band of leather around Ren's throat and buckled it closed.

"Dude," Ren said, and he probably tried for cheeky, but just ended up out of breath, "did you just put a collar on me?"

"Well, yeah." Doc said, nonchalant. "I need to mark up what's mine."

Oh, the sex they had that night.

So, then, things escalated a little. 

Eh, Ren doesn't actually know. Does it count as escalation if both parties want it to go that way? Probably, right?

Because he's naked, kneeling on the floor in front of Doc, nothing on but the collar around his neck–dark green leather, encrusted with diamonds, collar dangling loosely in his master's hand.

“Come on,” Doc says. He’s grinning, sat heavy on his armchair like a king, legs spread and inviting. “Come close, let me give you some pats.”

He could pull on the leash; then Ren wouldn’t have a choice but to follow. But he doesn’t, and Ren leans forwards anyway to lay his head in Doc’s lap, warm and solid. His hand immediately goes to bury itself in Ren’s hair, scratching affectionately behind his ear, and, despite the cold and the vague shyness, Ren feels himself relax immediately under the ministrations. Doc is methodical in his affection, scratches behind his ears and all along his head, squeezes his nape with rough fingertips until Ren is boneless and relaxed, nuzzling his lap. Doc’s got sweatpants on and little else, as he is wont to do, and Ren can feel his shapes against his face, separated by little more than some fleece and a lot of dreams. He’s got a half-chub, and Ren kinda feels embarrassed about his own cock standing proud. It hasn’t flagged once in the many minutes it took Doc to finally finish getting ready for bed—and, consequently, their nightly activities. Doc has probably noticed, but doesn’t seem to care, his hands digging in Ren’s scalp and, quite conspicuously, pushing his head into his lap to nuzzle at the growing imprint of his cock. He opens his lips to mouth at the body-warm cotton, revels in the low, pleased sigh Doc gives out, the musk of warm skin and fur and arousal in his nose.

“What a naughty puppy you are,” Doc tuts, but it’s half-hearted, “You had dinner, but you’re already hungry again? What shall I do with you…”

He’s sure acting mighty superior for a man who’s sticking his hand in his sweatpants to pull his cock out. Ren feels his tail start to wag, but Doc keeps him still, unyielding fingers curled in his hair.

“Let me see you first, Ren.” He says.

Ren opens his mouth and sticks out his tongue, trying to muster up his most convincing puppy eyes. He really wants to  suck Doc’s cock. Doc’s eyeing him, critical, turns his face this way and that, moves his hand to slap his cock on Ren’s awaiting tongue a couple times, every time a wet little pop of wet skin on wet skin rumbles too loud in the silent room; Ren can feel himself drooling at the hints of musky taste he can catch, too quick to really feel anything but enough to whet his appetite

.

Doc tsks. “You’re making a mess, puppy. I should just put a muzzle on you. That’d solve the problem for sure.”

Ren is only mildly ashamed of the way his dick twitches at that. He just tries to lean forwards despite the ache in his scalp, wiggles his tongue hoping to get a lick in and fails miserably. Perhaps if he looks pathetic enough, Doc will take pity on him.

Then a dick is resting, heavy, on his tongue, and Ren's brain kickstarts into action. He starts licking around Doc’s cockhead, spongy and soft, digs his tongue in any nooks and crannies and folds he can find, because he wants to do a good job. He wants to deserve this prize he’s got, and what better way to show his worthiness than slurping Doc into full, diamond-hardness, right? Because it’s working: the folds of Doc’s cunt are flowering open, his cock is starting to fully peek out of its cocoon, flushed red and dark green and damp with excitement, and Ren wants to bury his face in the green fur surrounding his cunt. He does, Doc’s hold on his hair gone slack; buries his mouth and nose in Doc and digs his tongue as deep as it will go, wraps his lips around his cock until it’s scraping against his palate, mindless in his search for pleasure. His cock twitches, useless, between his legs, and he doesn’t really care, drunk off Doc’s musk. 

Then, a harsh pressure around his neck pulls him away; he almost chokes around his collar and looks up through his tears at cruel, cruel Doc, smirking down at him. His cyber eye glows red, his real one wavers, liquid with arousal, and despite that he still looks so infuriatingly… unaffected.

“Do you like sucking my cock, puppy?” he asks, like the answer isn’t obvious.

“Yeah, I–I do.”

“Mm. I’ve never heard a puppy bark so strangely. Wanna try that again?”

Ren flushes crimson—he always does, when presented so boldly with his own fetishes—but knows immediately what to do.

He barks out something that could perhaps be vaguely intended to sound like a yes, tries to channel all his enthusiasm out in the single sound, and Doc smiles, scratches behind his ear.

“Yeah? You do like sucking my cock, don’t you, puppy?”

Another bark.

“Yeah, yeah, I can see you do.” Ren tries not to focus on Doc’s eye trained on his cock, standing at attention and leaking a little puddle down his shaft and on the floor. “You’re such a good little doggy, your mouth feels so good. Do you want some relief too, baby?”

Ren does. So badly. He nods until his head hurts, tries to get closer despite the leash holding him at bay, opens his mouth and lets his tongue loll out—a droplet of spit dribbles on his own cockhead, blessed, cold stimulation after so long not touching himself—as if to show Doc exactly what he’s missing out on.

Doc has other plans, apparently. He shuffles his sweatpants off the rest of the way one-handed, and pulls Ren by the leash to climb on the armchair. It’s a very snug fit, they’re both big men, but Ren obeys and goes to nestle between Doc’s legs, cock resting flushed and heavy against his cunt. Doc hisses out a pleased little breath, and then laughs when he feels an odd bulge at the base of Ren’s cock.

“Already popping your knot when you haven’t even put it in? That’s kind of pathetic, puppy, you know?”

He grinds against Ren, his hole, slick and open, catches on his cockhead, and they both moan little noises. Ren would be embarrassed about being such a quick-shot if Doc wasn't curling his hand, big and warm, around his cock to guide it to bury in himself in one smooth thrust.

It opens the dam, and Ren starts bucking.

He's so tight and warm inside, and with every thrust, Ren's cock drags deliciously against Doc's, and Doc moans pretty, rumbly noises, setting sparks flying in Ren's belly in the sweetest of virtuous cycles that makes Ren want to let go immediately. Doc pulls on the collar until Ren's face is buried in his chest, at the hinge between fur and metal, and something about the mixing scents of steel and oil and sweat trapped in fur make Ren go crazy, make him bite down on the soft muscle and fat on Doc's pec and roll his tongue around a pebbled nipple like he's done before; when Doc moans and presses his chest into Ren's mouth, when his cunt clenches around his cock, Ren thrusts harder, whining out wordless pleas in Doc's warm fur.

Doc coos, a bit breathless. "Aww, puppy wants to come?"

Ren nods, frantic, barks out a half-word that sounds like 'please'. His hips stutter, then start again, faster, and Doc hisses, bites his lip.

"Oh, ohh, that's nice." He reaches his hand down—the metal one, padded fingertips warm around him—to fondle and squeeze the swell of his base, and Ren whines. "You can come, puppy. Just don't make a mess."

Ren takes it to heart, starts making pressure on his joints to piston his hips into the warm, wet space that is Doc's cunt, tight, tight around him, squeezing his head and dragging upwards, and when Doc's flesh hand goes to scritch at the base of his back, where his tail is, he comes, unexpected and breathless, hilting himself deep as he can.

He doesn't have a true knot like his brethren have, he can't knot Doc like he wants to, but he tries, spurting seed deep inside and fucking it back in when he tries to pull out and it starts spilling down their thighs.

Doc rumbles a pleased little growl when Ren does, pleased at the slow drag against his cock, so Ren starts thrusting again, rubbing short and fast against it, until Doc flutters around him, moans a pretty noise, and there's liquid, milky and clear alike, sloshing out of him.

They fall back in a pile, faces pressed into each other's skin.

They probably won't get to salvage the armchair.

[legallyhermione]

Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Ooooof this is such a hard question!! Thank you for the ask, I love this kinda stuff!!

Without further ado, and in no particular order, here they are!

1. Any of MXTX’s content (I’m counting them as one because I love too many things 😭): For me, these novels and adaptations were my first foray into danmei and Chinese media. I also discovered them at a time when I was questioning my identity and coming to terms with the fact I’m queer (which is…not really accepted in my family). I watched The Untamed first, then read fan translations of the novels before they started being officially translated, and I keep coming back to them because I find them so thought provoking. I like that none of the characters are presented as perfect people; they’re all flawed humans, but we love them anyway.

2. Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty: found family, Sherlock Holmes-like detective skills, spies, political machinations, food as a form of love? What more could I ask for! I just love this show. Haven’t gotten to read the novel it’s based on yet, but I’m hoping to soon!

3. Yuri on Ice: one of the first anime I ever watched, and it’s just so sweet and lovely. Definitely one of my comfort shows! Plus there are some crazy good fics. Still hoping one day we’ll get the movie!

4. Harry Potter: I struggle with this one a lot, because I very much dislike JKR’s transphobic rhetoric. But the fan spaces of Harry Potter provided me with support and escape I needed many times throughout my life, and for that the fandom of Harry Potter will always hold a special place in my heart. It’s been a part of my life nearly as long as I can remember.

5. Thousand Autumns: another one with some very morally grey characters! I love thinking about who and what is right and wrong, and this novel definitely makes you think about it. Lots of political world building as well, which I love.

6. My Cousin Vinny: a fantastic movie that I have many fond memories about. The jokes and digs about the south vs the north in the US always make me laugh, and as someone who has lived many years in both of those areas, those scenes make me giggle.

7. Haikyuu!: another one of my comfort shows! It’s just happy and fun and adorable. I love this one. I watched it sooooo many times during lockdown.

8. BBC Merlin: was morgana my bi awakening? I shan’t tell! Suchhh a good show, I miss it so much. Another fandom that has some incredibleeeee fanfics. Y’all writers are so talented.

9. Our Flag Means Death: I think this was maybe my first piece of media that explicitly included multiple queer characters but the entire storyline wasn’t only about the otherness and pain of being queer (or just a stereotyped role). This show made me feel seen in ways no other media had before. Plus, the show is gay pirates. It doesn’t get much better than that!

10. Avatar the Last Airbender: me and my siblings all loved this show, and we still watch it together often whenever we’re together. It’s so good. Zuko’s character development is still quite possibly the best redemption arc I’ve seen. I love it.

Phew. It was so hard to choose 10! I’m glad you didn’t ask me to pick one because I’m afraid that would’ve been impossible for me! What are your favorites???

💚

[teataglia]

I'm not sure if you do emergency requests but i'd figure I'd try. Coudl you do mikey with an s/o whos having what i'd call a melt down? Like it was too much at once, s/o's hitting themselves to deal with the emotions and just in general harmful ways to deal with it? If you do do emergency requests I'd really appreciate it.

pairing: mikey x gn!reader who's having a meltdown

warnings: meltdowns, pent up feelings, release of feelings, mentions of unhealthy coping habits, comfort

tea’s note: hi! so sorry i haven’t gotten to this yet, i’m kinda new w/ all these terms so if an emergency request is a request that gets answered asap, i don't do those because i don’t have notifs on for tumblr, and i also dont want to put extra pressure on myself to pump out smth im not super proud of, but im still gonna answer this and i hope you enjoy and are ok!

Mikey understands what pressure feels like. He’s felt it all his life. He never developed healthy coping mechanisms, instead succumbing to his dark impulses. But seeing you spiraling hurts him more than he would like to admit. When you first started dating, you were both secretive and a little self conscious of how you reacted when you became overwhelmed. But as the relationship progressed, Mikey opened up to you and you to him, and you became very familiar with each other's destructive tendencies. It was hard sometimes, but overall you were able to be there for each other, always listening to and supporting each other. 

When Mikey came home, he wasn’t expecting to find you curled up in a fetal position in the middle of the couch. And yet here you are, arms tightly circled around your knees, your entire body softly trembling from the pent up tension. 

“Hey, sweetheart, is it okay if I sit with you?” Mikey walks slowly towards you, wanting only to capture you in a bear hug but he knows that might not help you right now. 

You nod through the tears, eyes burning from trying not to cry, your cheeks streaked with the failure to hold it in. Mikey takes a seat by your head.

“Can I?” Mikey asks, holding his hand up. You give another curt nod and he places a calloused hand on your cheek, rubbing his thumb under your eye. You don’t react to his touch but also don’t push him off. Mikey recognizes this green flag and continues stroking your cheek, wiping your tears away. 

“I’m here if you want to talk. I’m not going anywhere,” Mikey does his best to keep his voice even. On the inside, he was extremely angry at himself for not being there for you earlier, who knew how long you were like this before he got home. 

“It’s ok, love. Let it all out. I’m here for you,” Mikey hands you a pillow. 

You smash your face into it and yell and sob, expelling all the gunk and yuckiness from within you. The gross feelings that come from feeling like the world is crashing down on you gets muffled as you scream your heart out. You welcome the emptiness you feel after releasing everything into the pillow, all your frustrations, vents, and sorrows. The catharsis of simply existing floods through your veins, and your shaking body stills, finally taking deep breaths. You fall against Mikey’s body, completely worn out and he holds you tightly. 

He kisses your forehead repeatedly muttering, “I’m never letting you go.”

taglist

© da1ryqveen 2022, all rights reserved. do not plagiarize, copy, translate, repost my content on any platform. 

[polyamorouspunk]

HEYYYYYYYYY its me your favorite annoying mutual who you claim isn’t annoying 😜

So. Question. Im starting therapy this week. Or at least its an intake appointment. And I was wondering if you have any experience with any therapy stuff to kinda. Maybe give me an idea of what I should expect?

Like, I know my plp works in the field and stuff and she does therapy too but for completely different reasons than Im gonna try going for. And I was hoping I could get another person’s perspective.

Not gonna lie, I’ve had some not so great experiences with therapy/counseling before, so Im hoping this time goes better. But yeah

- 🗝️

I mean if you’ve already had therapy you know the basics. First appointment is meeting and saying what brought you to therapy. Next appointment is continuing to establish. I would argue even by the third appointment you’re still getting used to your therapist and establishing a relationship with them. I think every relationship you have with a therapist is different. I felt like my last therapist was good at guiding me to talk about things I needed to talk about. My therapist now I honestly just sit in silence until he asks me something. It’s really awkward. My last appointment I tried to bring up the stuff I had written down to talk about and he kind of side-stepped the stuff I really wanted to talk about to ask why I self-diagnose with BPD and how it can be trendy to self-diagnose and how “The DSM-5 isn’t the Bible” but also “kids will read the DSM-5 and say it sounds like them and then say they have a disorder” and blah blah blah. He knows I’m a psych student and therefore sometimes it feels like I can level with him and have conversations about the field of psychology and then sometimes it feels like “well as a professional in the field I have to recommend against self-diagnosis” or something and I’m like I’m here to talk about all the red flags that the girl I’m lusting after just dropped on me not whether or not I have blue brain worms or brain worms that just look blue under the sunlight but are actually brown like bluejay feathers like. Fr. Uh. I mean you were *there* with me when I said I don’t particularly like my therapist but I’ve been having a hard time finding a new one. I, personally, prefer therapy where I can work on something since my last therapist unlocked the realization that I talk much more openly when I am busying myself with something which is why I think art therapy would be helpful for me. I purposefully planned the last serious conversation I had to have while I was working on things with my hands. Some therapists are really chatty and talk about themselves a lot and compare their experiences in life or with other clients to yours. Some therapists only want to focus on you and what you feel. Some want to give you advice, some want to give you techniques. But your level of openness and comfort is going to dictate how much and what you get out of it. If I was more comfortable with my therapist I might have been able to put my foot down and say “this isn’t what I want to talk about in my session today, perhaps we can revisit this another time”, but I just don’t have that level of comfort with my therapist because I don’t like him that much. He’s a great guy! He’s just not the right style of therapist for me. It’s really great to have an openly queer therapist but I need someone more rigid who can get me to open up better and doesn’t monologue at me. That’s just something I’ve learned. You’ll learn what works from when it’s worked in the past and you’ll learn what you need when you don’t get it. That’s just how it is. I’m hoping I can revisit the stuff I actually wanted to talk about in my next session instead of having the focus be put on why I need to ID with BPD and not “so I have someone that said some things to me that’s making me concerned about the direction our potential relationship is taking but I don’t really know how to interoperate it, what are your thoughts as someone who hears these therapy buzzwords a lot?”

[tadpolesonalgae]

this chapter was so good! i feel like we got to see a little of everyone's thoughts here which im glad because her view of everything really is so limited. there's so much to say omg i hope i don't rant for too long

first the azriel pov was good to see how things are going from his side but it does kinda suck that he still mostly cares just because of his job. i hope we actually get some feelings from him soon, even if platonic because things aren't looking good for reader

maybe i've been too hard on the ic lol but i stand by that they should try harder. i get elain telling nesta she needs time but this has been going on for years and no matter how much reader likes reading and staying up in her room it's not healthy. i get it worked for elain but it's clearly getting worse for reader so i hope after this shopping trip they start pulling her out of her comfort zone more and more, like it doesn't have to be dinners with everyone but at least once or twice a week making sure someone takes her out of the house even to like a bakery or something for at least an hour isn't that hard to do and it helps a lot. i know i get stuck on this issue a lot but i think ive said before that im kind of similar to reader in a way, ive always had a tendency to isolate myself and i cant really do large groups of people but my family has always pulled me out of it and dragged me to do something and i was usually mad the entire time and sometimes half in a panic but it works. giving her time and space is good but after months and especially years that space is just making her more and more isolated and makes it harder to help. and i think the biggest thing is that its been years since she's been fae but it makes sense that they had their hands full with the war and then nesta was on a way more self destructive path and then nyx so i get it but i wish they helped more. and i get elain not wanting to make her more uncomfortable but she's not really helping to be honest, just because she likes being in her room it doesn't make it good at all and nesta is right. it's been too long for them to still be letting her hide from everything, it's clear she isn't okay.

as much as i loved the chapter it was so frustrating to read. reader really doesn't think she deserves anything good and it sucks. like not even clothes? i know mor saw how bad it was so i hope this makes the ic move more because this isn't a good way to live at all and there are so many red flags with reader at this point. she clearly isolates herself, she thinks she doesn't deserve anything good, she keeps comparing herself to everyone physically, she has no self esteem at all. the moments where she was examining the dress she liked and from the description it was a wool full length dress and she still found a way to think it was revealing? i never had much hope for her style but she really dresses like a nun and it also shows that she isn't comfortable with herself at all. also when she thought she was being selfish for buying clothes? im sorry to elain but reader doesn't need more space, she needs everyone to have a really serious conversation with her and tell her that she doesn't need to do anything to deserve a normal life and normal things, honestly i think it should be nesta or all the sisters because this is has bad as nesta was before acosf, she just hides instead of lashing out. and then she needs someone to start pushing her a bit, she'll have to be uncomfortable before she gets better but she can't keep going like this, she's basically punishing herself for breathing. eris would be good for the pushing her a bit part but i hope someone actually talks to her first.

the part when the ic finds out either about her powers or eris is going to be really messy but i hope it comes soon and honestly i kinda hope she says some of what she's feeling, even if it's in the middle of a breakdown because something needs to happen and she's not going to be able to do it without everyone's help. she has such a long way to go and she only seems like she's getting worse so i hope we get to see her starting to heal soon - 🧶

‘there's so much to say omg i hope i don't rant for too long’

I love whenever you send these in! It’s so fun to see you dissect the chapter and so heartwarming too 🥹🫂🫂

‘even if platonic because things aren't looking good for reader’

I hate to say it, but things are probably going to get worse before they get better 🫣 (maybe 👀)

I will admit, it would be nice to write them having a normal exchange for once? Maybe when reader’s come back from an outing and she’s too frazzled from so much interaction for her nerves to set in 🤭

‘ i get it worked for elain but it's clearly getting worse for reader’

I mean I suppose from their perspective reader and Elain are kind of similar in that they’re both pretty quiet and reserved so it would make sense that perhaps reader would have the same coping mechanisms as her? But yeah, now that it’s been two years and there’d kind of time to relax (👀) and things haven’t changed, Nesta at least is beginning to notice some stuff :/

‘but at least once or twice a week making sure someone takes her out of the house’

Also she does go out with Bas every now and then so they would have taken that into consideration, but at the same time I’ve head-cannoned it that they don’t know the nature of her and Bas’ relationship? Az at least thinks it’s still purely platonic (on reader’s side) so that might be fun for when the penny finally drops 🫣🤭

‘ and i was usually mad the entire time and sometimes half in a panic but it works.’

Gosh I know what you mean 🫠

In the moment it’s stressful and you don’t want to be there, but years later the memories are actually kind of fondly viewed? I think that will probably be the case with reader once she begins to get used to the company?

‘from the description it was a wool full length dress and she still found a way to think it was revealing?’

Yup! (Can you imagine how comfy that would be? 🫠) She certainly has some problems with seeing how she looks, and I like to think a lot of that comes from spending so long being forced to let go of her beauty when she was younger? Like she remembers how wonderful and full of colour her childhood was and has kind of glorified and exaggerated that in her mind? Memory has shifted it to be much more rich and beautiful than it probably was, so in the back of her mind she’s comparing how things used to be with her years in poverty, and stuck thinking instead of how lucky things have turned out and accepting them, thinking how she just doesn’t deserve them anymore :/

‘she needs everyone to have a really serious conversation with her’

There certainly will be a serious conversation at some point 👀🤭

‘eris would be good for the pushing her a bit part but i hope someone actually talks to her first.’

So this part I’m a little scared to write because once it’s out then everything else will have to happen 😭

The moment Elain talks with her and Eris starts to help (in his own skewered way, of course) then the story is going to have to move forward and I’m genuinely so scared to mess it up

‘the part when the ic finds out either about her powers or eris is going to be really messy’

Yeah… 😬😬😬

‘and honestly i kinda hope she says some of what she's feeling,’

It’s definitely going to be cathartic when she manages to do something for herself, let’s just hope the ic will be able to prioritise that over the mess with Eris 👀

Thank you so much for sending this in!! It’s always so wonderful to read through your thoughts and reply to them—it honestly makes me smile so wide to see these whenever you send them in 🧡💛🫂

[luckyqueenreign]

Hey, hun!

Rant incoming 😅 I apologize in advance!

is it possible to be disappointed even if you expected it? i mean I definitely love they gave us an option to tell Meera "screw you!" and Suresh's apology was not bad, but still.

i kinda thought Finn's speech will be more about hos feelings for MC but he downplay it to "i wanted everyone on your side". what's wrong with FB's pixel men who go for different girl behind their partners back? I didn't like it with Jake behind Cherry's back (but he at least wanted to make an "official relationship" with MC), I hated it with Noah behind Hope's back (cuz it made him sneakiest boy in entire season 2 despite the fact that he's supposed to be a loyalest person!), I didn't like it with Youssef. and now they doing it with Finn? why can't we have one boy who wants only MC and showing his intentions for everyone? you know like Rafi from s4. This man actually chose to walk from Villa cuz he came with his eyes only on MC!

So now I'm really considering choosing money in final (if FB will give us this opportunity!)

I would like to be with Finn if he actually made it clear to Kat before proposing MC to take his eggs, if you know what I mean.also! it's quite suspicious when he said he didn't do bits with Kat when she said opposite. So there isn't any complete trust in him.

I don't fancy Alfie as a love interest. So he's just a friend for my MC. And he disappointed me too! I mean there was a girl who fancied him greatly, he brought her back and didn't regret it (he made MC vulnerable!), he chose to marry her in SMP and he chose not to go with her because what? MC (who by the way he cheated on with Kat)?? I actually felt bad for Meera in this moment even though I hated her. So... this is definitely is not a man for my MC.

I'm too straight to go for a girl even though Lulu is lovely! So it's not an option for me😃

And Suresh... Well, it's complicated. I'm not forgiving person - not sure I can move past cheating in real life. And I probably wouldn't got together with Suresh if I eas MC - I couldn't forget a betrayal and there's no point in relationship if you don't trust your partner.

But I did like his apology! finally we have something sincere!

and still - kissing your mistress in SMP challenge is a really next level cruelty. I can understand when you want to see if there could be anything but you don't have to do it when a person (who you clame you care about) can see this.

also! His actions do make sense when you shutting his flirting at every opportunity - so he could have a doubts about his chances. but when you flirted with him even on double date, when you kissed him - it should have been a sign for him! His actions are cruel when you trying to actually romance him.

and I still don't have enough emotions from MC! I want some good drama - when she don't want to love her ex but can't help herself but love him. When she wants to move on and struggling with her feelings because he is her first and only love. She tried so hard to rebuild herself after his betrayal and when she's finally go to Villa he showed up. and all her "work" to forget about him eas pointless. I want her tears and his vulnerability (and tears) damn it.

overall S5 is the only season where I don't find a good boy (without any red flags). It's a shame, there was do much potential!

Ahem... I didn't mean to rant so much, sorry! Feel free to ignore this bedsheet of text😅

bestie you're so right...s5 has literally the worst men in the entire series...the least complicated LI in all of S5 is Lulu and thats awesome for players who want wlw route but I wish wlm route got at least one uncomplicated man as well. dont get me wrong I love a redemption story, but not all of them needed to be one. Also why theyre now making Finn a cheater is beyond me?? it literally makes no sense. And I dont understand why all of his confessions lowkey back pedal every week. I like u MC ALOT!! but I also like Kat too! not very reassuring since thats what u did literally ALL SEASON and still chose her at every turn. I agree with u on the Rafi thing, I wish Finn's declaration had been more all or nothing. He needed to break up with Kat for it to mean more.

[f1-stuff]

I love your characters because they seem alive. And I realize that a big part of creating them to feel real is making them humans, inevitably faulty. But I find that it’s incredibly difficult to let that character be an asshole, say the wrong thing, fail, hurt someone they love. That’s an issue, of course, given that those are the things they need in order to grow and fulfill their story ark. How do you approach it? Making things the right amount of imperfect, knowing when to give into the character’s wants, and when to hold them back?

Wow first of all, thank you for saying this! 🥹 Legitimately, one of the nicest compliments to receive, and something I'd actually been thinking about recently when I felt like a character was 'too perfect' in one of my fics 😂. It’s something I still have to actively remind myself about while writing.

Damn, how to go about answering this...lol

Honestly, there isn’t one approach I have, and I wanna think that there isn't really a right or wrong 'amount of imperfect' either. It's hard to know when you haven't done enough/you've done too much, and it's sort of subjective.

I think, generally, characters' flaws are what create conflict in a story. And conflict is what drives a narrative for me. It adds suspense and tension, and creates circumstances for characters to learn and grow. You can also think of it the opposite way: what conflict could I write to help expose this character's flaws? And what conflict would expose their strengths? (because you need both in a story)

Sometimes, if I do an outline for a fic, I literally write what the characters' arcs are/what it is they need to learn or how they each need to grow. For example, for my charlos boarding school AU fic, I wrote this in my outline:

What are each of their arcs? Charles -> accepting all of himself, putting happiness before duty, realizing that he’s good enough Carlos -> he can't always fix everything/protect Charles all the time - sometimes shit isn’t simple, learning to balance his friendships and relationship

This wasn't everything that these characters needed to learn and grow about, but it did help me to determine how they might react in a relevant situation. Charles' inability to accept himself/put happiness over duty is sort of the conflict that sparks the narrative journey, and then Carlos' need to protect Charles ends up being a source of conflict to carry us into the 'third act', so to speak.

But tbh, I don't usually think about the story in that way while I'm writing. It does help to break it down like that though if I'm struggling with where to take a story. Sometimes, a character's flaws are something you plan ahead, and sometimes, they reveal themselves during the process of writing. Neither approach is right or wrong!

I often like to pinpoint a character's 'fatal flaw' or 'red flag', in a sense 😅. I feel like my own is not knowing how to say 'no,' as well as sometimes lying about/concealing my true feelings to avoid conflict. If you can pinpoint what this is for a character, it helps sooo much in making them & their actions feel real.

You can also examine instances when you've made a mistake or overreacted or done something you regret, and understand why you acted that way or what triggered it. I'm kinda extra - when I watch reality tv (read: love island), I psychoanalyze everyone 🤣. I'll be telling my roommate like, "Wow, the reason Liv keeps trying to pick a fight about who's being 'fake' is because that's one of her insecurities." Lmao.

Last thing I'll add is that even if a character isn't aware of why they feel or act a certain way, you should know why. Come up with a reason, whether it be a trauma from their past or an ideology that they've inherited from their parent or authority figure. If you don't know why a character is acting a certain way, then it won't make sense/feel real to a reader either.

I don't know if I've really answered your question bc I don't fully know the answer tbh! But I hope some of this is helpful. And feel free to ask me about a specific fic if you're curious how I arrived at certain choices! ❤️

[lenteur]

i appreciate you a lot, i hope you know that <3

i would like to use the hug card <3 i feel like i need a big biiig group hug, i just want to be squished <333

i hope they do, otherwise i feel like it may drive them apart or away from the company itself(which wouldn't be a bad thing, there are better companies).

your puns are spectacular, i only wish i had that same power ;) it's not that hard to just LOVE him, i mean he is the definition of precious <33 i feel like seungkwan is one of those idols that if you were to ever meet him, he'd be the same as what we see <3 a kind individual <3 though i have watched older fansignings and he seems so sweet <33 i'm having a lot of scoups feelings atm HELP...........

thank u !! we kinda went off criminal minds for the last week or so, my s/o is rewatching smallville and i've been rewatching riverdale <33

it's really, really good <3 i rewatched it this week, also started watching revenge of others, i'm on ep 2 and i am HOOKED <3 it's basically about a girl who transfers to her brother's school in an attempt to find his killer (who pushed him out of a window) >:( i feel like i know who the killer may be but i'm probably wrong :(

you are honestly so sweet <3 you are a ball of sunshine :)) i'm glad you're happy to continue talking with me <3 although if u were not, that would be absolutely okay <3 and you're welcome 🌼

they are both girls!!! <33 they are the cutest beans <3333

hello my dear bestie 💗 i have missed you soooooooooooooooooooooooo much but i'm glad you took some time for yourself and i hope you're feeling better than during the holidays 💕 and i also hope you know i appreciate you as well. very much so!

of course! come here 💓 we'll squeeze you with our love 😘

thank you so much for appreciating my puns 💘 very few people can enjoy them. only the big brained are able to. so therefore, i can share my secret with you :D i went to this amazing pun school ;) i can't mention their name or else they'll receive too many applications. the only thing i can tell you is that it was a lot of PUN (haha get it?)

omg! yes exactly. i knew you'd be able to translate what i'm trying to say about my boo (seungkwan) super well 💝 he's one of those rare idols where you can feel he's practically the same as what he shows in front of cameras. i can't confirm that because i don't know him personally but he kind of seems like he's not that different off camera. ah scoups scoups, that man is very dangerous indeed... i've watched back it up fancams during the caratblr event and i haven't felt this attacked in a long time. he has made a (s)coup(s) d'état to my heart 💞 (i'm proud of that pun)

smallville. a name i haven't heard in a long time. i remember watching it as a teenager, i recognise the faces of the actors but i have no clue as to what's going on in the show. the only thing i know is it's about superman (am i sure? not really) as for riverdale, the only thing i've watched are the yt video edits/the memes. some of the videos are kind of funny. especially when you know nothing about the show hahaha

oh wow congrats on actually keeping your promise of watching kdramas 👏👏👏 so revenge of others is a thriller mixed with a little bit of detective stories? (i don't remember the name of the genre lol) i hope the k*ll*r (just in case tumblr wants to flag this post) is not the person you're suspecting because then it ruins the story :/ at least in my opinion ^^ i mean, it's nice if you guess who it is while collecting clues during the first few episodes but if you already guessed by episode 2 then it's a bummer :( but again maybe the story is not entirely focused on finding the culprit and more about how the main character reacts and what will happen to the culprit? i'm sorry those are just random guesses >3< and i'm sure you've got the right answer. you're smart, very smart!

no need to worry about talking to me 💖 i very much enjoy talking to you and getting to know more about you (and your cats) 💟 you're honestly one of the highlights of my days/weeks when i see you pop up in my notifications so never worry about me not enjoying talking to you. it's the opposite actually!

my little beans are so cute 😻 every time i think about them, i get this huge smile on my face :D it's hard not to when they're this pretty and awesome 💗 a little kiss on both their foreheads because they deserve it for being so amazing 😘😘

[cld-n]

i totally agree with you. it seemed contrived and conceited. this isn’t going to be too related to her vanity fair profile in particular but a general observation. i felt like everyone was trying to convince me she’s a game changer. an excellent director that deserves endless praise but nobody could provide me a good reason why. her status as a female director alone is not compelling enough for me because her work so far has brought nothing new to the table. not that I expect some sort of genius from her but she doesn’t have anything that sets her apart from the rest even small hints here and there that would signal some originality. I know it’s only her second project and it’s not even out yet but you can understand the artistic characteristics of a lot of directors from their directorial debuts. in olivia’s case it was booksmart and i wasn’t personally impressed. it felt like every other comedy/coming of age movie rebranded for a 2019 audience and her radical change of genre from that to whatever dwd is seemed bold at first but looking at the results, very haphazard. it’s like she’s jumping on whatever that’s trendy at the time hoping it would work therefore her whole career and this reasoning behind why olivia wilde is so wonderful and revolutionary seems like it stems from a sense of entitlement and complacency. on a personal level her activism and feminism feels the same. she has proven time and time again that her branch of feminism is white feminism. with dwd she had the opportunity to tell a very rich and complex story that tackles with power dynamics and gender roles but she did this in the most shallow and uninspiring way possible. (yes I’ve read the whole spoilers on the internet and I honestly don’t regret it.) overall i feel like she’s constantly punching above her weight by claiming to be something she isn’t and/or will not be putting the work for. she would do great if she’d let go of all the self proclaimed titles and just did her job since that’s ultimately why she’s being pushed so hard right now. male directors do this or that so why can’t she. male directors are not doing extraordinary work and yet get praises and financial support so why can’t she. and finally the whole “i’m so tough” speech she gave in that interview felt so forced as if she’s trying to convince herself more than anyone else and i understand it because she never dealt with this amount of fame and attention before and she’s not particularly seen in a good light. what’s irritating is that she’s pulling this attitude against valid criticism on her own actions so it doesn’t come off as badass as it does to her. it just feels like she’s deflecting against criticism by being unreasonably obstinate. one positive thing i can say about her is that she makes bold choices. i’m sorry this was so long and maybe unintelligible at parts. english is not my first language.

ok first off, your english is really great 😊 and i'm so sorry i only just got to this

I didn’t really get to finish her profile cos it read across as like… like if you’re not in tune in film community circles or it’s not really like an interest beyond just watching films and going to the movies, then yeah you’d maybe find what she says to be somewhat credible I guess (?) but a lot of it was just bull, like plain bs with a few red flags raised (might go into that later)

But yeah I agree, I get that vibe too. And her rep as a director isn’t compelling for me either. Like having the connections to get profiles and interviews aside, the way they write about Booksmart as if it did for film what Frank Ocean’s Channel Orange did for music was just like a real far cry, and it’s kinda sad that rhetorically her pieces come across like her being a woman inherently gives her game changing status as a director when really she’s done nothing to contribute to shaping the kinds of stories and films we get to see today yk?

Your Directorial debuts comment exactly, like I think of Julia Ducourneau’s Raw and how much controversy it caused and the backlash she got, but it did establish her voice as a filmmaker as it showed us her style and the kind of stories she wanted to tell, that Raw eventually did pave space for certain types of stories to be told and shared. Booksmart doesn’t have that impact, cos idk it seemed to, just like with dwd, serve a more entrepreneurial purpose more than anything but that’s just me. Even the language she uses around her process and approach is quite hollow? When she chooses to focus on the like look of a film rather than the main point or the key themes to the stories she’s supposed to tell Idk I just feel like her reputation as a director is to offer a white woman version of what male filmmakers are known for? Like Booksmart was supposedly the female equivalent to an appatow film, in some ways dwd is painted as this like woman’s version of a Jordan Peele film (which in many ways is wrong lol idk)

She definitely subscribes to choice feminism or performative at best. (it very much leans toward awful double agent for the patriarchy tbh) I still remember someone’s tweet about how she turns a celebration of women into fawning praise of men and like that’s sorta pretty much it, somehow her feminism is always tied to the affirmations of or from other men to place her in a certain place or echelon. (Low key it was a red flag there weren’t other like women directing peers included in her profiles/interviews apart from maggie but tbh that was a trainwreck though right?) Idk if I got to that part in the profile but I can see that, like a making it out like she’s above it but really sorta right?

But yeah, there was a part in the profile where she said she was like a troll magnet and I thought like, what a way to avoid valid criticism for your shitty decisions and actions right? Like “oh I they just like to poke fun at me” no dummy omg like i can see it sometimes but to lump even the criticism with it is just so.... ? yk?

sorry I tied a lot of what you said back to the profile but this is just my long winded way of saying I agree with a lot of what you said and think lol but again your English is incredible 😊

[xodiumdotnet]

I'm just gonna vent for a bit because I'm absolutely tired.

Putting it behind a break because I may go kinda unhinged in this. It's a mental health thing. Scroll on by if you don't want to read it. I won't be offended. Promise.

I am just so tired of the internet feeling like it's just getting ever shittier and there's just nowhere to run anymore. I mean, there's here, now that here is owned by a company that actually gives a damn. But I'm just tired of these dumb billionaires just buying their way into relevance and then absolutely tanking the thing they've been charged with running.

Hell, one of my favorite artists released a new album very recently, and the chorus of one of the songs on said album resonate hard with how I'm feeling right now:

Passions rise and a voice cries out inside When what I know and love is gone Where should I go, where should I run? The flag I carried, I held high… …over earth and under sky When what I know and love is gone Where should I go, where should I run?

First, it was Twitter. You can feel however you want about Twitter, but what I really liked about it was that it was really the melting pot of the internet. It was also where everyone played. Friends? Yeah. Companies? Yeah. Twitter was just as useful for posting random stuff as it was for hailing companies to get through customer service hell when you really didn't want to place a phone call.

Sure, there were some shitty people on there, all platforms have that. But for my time there? I didn't really run into anyone truly shitty.

Twitter was just a dumb site up until 2022, when I started getting deeper into retro tech and actually built up a really healthy following. The momentum was awesome, and it was nice to just throw some random crap out there and have someone actually like it.

Then Musk happened. I had hopes that he would have actually pulled out of buying Twitter, but nope. Twitter's shareholders all wanted their payday so they pursued Musk and made him hold up his promise (because he wanted to overpay grossly for it, so shareholders got a nice payday for it, fuck the long term health of the platform am I right?!) and now Twitter is circling the toilet.

This meant trying to find refuge on another twitter-alike site, of which there were a few. I tried to settle on Mastodon at first, but the instance I joined didn't really fit me as well as I thought it would, and I got discouraged. Tried another and fared much better off, though rebuilding my following has been slow progress.

As much as this all sucked, at least it was only Twitter, right? Nahhhh.

Not sure how you could see what Musk is doing to Twitter and think "golly gee, that sounds like a good idea", but that's exactly what reddit is doing as we speak, and that just...launched me down a depressive hate spiral that I'm currently stuck in.

It's playing out almost exactly like Twitter is. Some rich asshole (or set of assholes) is mad that they're not making enough money even though they have enough money in the bank to arguably be set for life, so to make even MORE money they're going to go run off and tank a service that they're in charge of.

Or--because we live in this capitalist hellscape--it's considered a bad thing when you're making just enough money to pay your bills, pay your employees, and just exist, comfortably, as a company. No, you must always be growing, or you're a failure. Approaching saturation? We don't care, fuck over your current customers to extract more dollars from them, too!

sigh.

Because Twitter making sudden changes at the snap of Musk's fingers is working out so well for them, reddit's CEO decided he was going to wake up, choose violence, and do the same thing. Despite reddit telling developers of 3rd party apps that hey, everything's cool, we're not charging for our API within the next year...one day they did a complete 180 on that and are now saying "pay up".

Which in and of itself is not the problem: Developers are more than happy to pay into this! But reddit is asking far, far too much, on a way too aggressive timeline. You could say this is intended to just outright kill 3rd party apps without explicitly saying so, and you'd very likely be right.

Reddit's mobile presence was built on these apps. Hell, reddit themselves bought out Alien Blue to use as a base for their own app, so spez's charge that "reddit was never intended for 3rd party apps" is an outright lie.

(Isn't even the worst lie he's spouted. When Christian Selig--the dev behind Apollo--brought out receipts to call out reddit's admins claiming he was blackmailing them, he doubled down and tried to play the victim and continue to say that he was extorted.)

We're now at the point where reddit's many communities protested this, and reddit went union-busting to break up said protest. The whole thing is absolutely wack. They're actually threatening to replace mod teams to force subreddits that went dark back open.

Given how vehemently they're burning their bridges, I don't anticipate they're going to back off and reddit is in the same state that twitter is in: It may live on despite billionaires and venture capitalists trying to kill it, but the soul is gone. There's no joy in using it anymore.

And all of this started because spez saw what Musk did and thought "damn, that's a good idea!" As if that wasn't bad enough, we have some small side things happening, too. Like the Apple Card launching a cruise missile right at me (and people like me). If you want to finance an iPhone (which is really--sadly--the way to go these days, phones are NOT cheap) you have to do it via the Apple Card if you're not on the big 3 carriers.

Not anymore! Apple's removing the financing option for Apple Card users on MVNOs, so you have to be on one of the big 3 carriers with a postpaid plan to finance an iPhone via the Apple Card.

Yes. The Apple Card. A line of credit that I qualified for outside of any kind of carrier bullshit.

This almost feels like Apple feeding into this trope that MVNO users are all broke and don't deserve nice things, but the fact is that if you're a single person who only wants a single line plan, MVNOs are really the way to go. You're getting absolutely ripped off for a single-line plan on postpaid carriers. It's ridiculous.

(But yes, I know, this is likely the carriers themselves pushing Apple to make this change. Still. Sigh.)

I'm sure there are other things going shitty too (like uh, Discord's username changes) but in interest of keeping this post somewhat shorter I won't launch into those. I'm just tired because it feels like we're in that period where like, everyone knows we're headed for a recession and they're trying to squeeze as hard as they possibly can before we physically can't give anymore.

Probably a majority of the reason why I suffer with executive dysfunction as of late and just don't want to get out of bed. Why do so when everything outside your door sucks ass?

[daniels-rwby-blog]

IT'S BEE O CLOCK BABY

Still a good intro, Bit of back story, some falling nice.

That clock is important

Ruby's moody and Jaune the voice of reason

Jaune is my reaction to meta cat

cat your annoying weiss and me

ascension is death called it,

AND THE TWIST BOIS

so lewis died

weiss is now the best character don't at me.

holy crap this is the metaverse, like it's a writer's out for the whole show.

okay so we have the bees together working out the little ship issue we have going on (man i hope monty had a list of canon ships) and the backstory, really a tale from remnant about the ever after, as i thought the twist is that morals are totally wack, i love the tape FX btw. and yeah the herbalist seems more important or at least a pawn of the cat, which seems to be jaunes point, the cat rules this world, its the cat's playground and alex bought it, alex dealt with the cat and escaped.

also those mirrors and summer and weiss seeing atlas, thats gonna need a breakdown.

Jaune still isn't saying the full story tho, he's holding something back.

and now thee bee elephant:

so this is about as blunt a way to do the bee's as i could think of, the compliments bridge yangs movments are perfrect here, emotion is so well carried and her spilling out about blake is adorable

THE BLUSHING THE FLAG THE COLOR NOOOOOOOOO ITS TOO CUTE its the GARDEN FROM THE SONG

HOW DID HE KNOWWWWWW

This is one of the best scene’s i've seen from rwby, not just cause it’s my ship but because it feels like the show as come, at least half circle upon itself, while it left the realm of cutiepie highschool drama years ago, the core of it, of 4 friends, it's never left. And now it's back, although friends isn't the right word.

and thus the S.S bee wins over. in not the best way or the way i wanted

But yeah i like how nonchalant it is The bees are free and the show is essentially now part over, 2 of the title characters are completed in "friendship" BY is indeed bi. All that's left is ruby; the story of motherhood and doing the right thing even when the odds are against you, and Weiss who's learnt her lesson so many times over it's hard to count. But we're done now, the bees have kissed the ship is a relationship and the GF jokes can start, its phase 2 of the SS bumblebee and I really hope it gets mentioned in the show (the ex-ship name). Kinda wonder if Monty had planned this (seems like he did not gonna lie) but there was time for black sun to have it, but ultimately CRWBY kicked in their teeth. Here's my message to Blacksun or anyone who’s not happy about BB. This is RWBY, a show that while at its core is a fight anime about 4 girls, in a wacky world of monsters and God’s, finding themselves and their friends in the midst of it all, it always had a second message… Be yourself. Wiess tries to become her own person rather than the rich heiress. Ruby tries to be a huntress and later a leader and later still whatever this is. Blake and faunus are an analog for minorities and fitting in. Yang is the “just being physically strong doesn't mean you're good mentally”. This show is about change, finding your place and I don't think that having a Gay ship means any less. In fact it seems fitting. And regardless of all the other gay media you may point to and tell me that RWBY shouldn't have to conform to it, i'd like to point out this show is a decade old (ish)! This ship was there from day 1, and now it's over, its cannon and that's it.

For my fellow Bee’s, it's done, we can have our few weeks (heck the whole rest of the volume) but we have won. The signs were always there, it is now our job to become the defenders, we must gather our memes, our evidence, our mighty clips; and we must, it is our destiny to use them to back up CRWBY, to defend, not our opinions in hate filled fury, but the Show we love with dignity and respect, we need to tone it down once our victory lap is done and keep a level head as we show the world all the hints and love filled moments that led up to, what i hope is one of many Bee Kisses.

Also all the fan art OMG its so cuuuuuteeeeeeeeeee!

Thanks, y'all for reading, and sticking with this show to see out the bees, I'll have a breakdown of Ruby's mental fuzz at CR and what that means coming up. Make sure to read my other theories and DFTBA!

[arodabi]

Whats an aromantic flag and why you should include it in your pride posts

disclaimer: i know theres fighting every year about who should and shouldn’t be included in pride posts, this isn’t to argue with people who just hate aspec ppl, this is an informational post. don’t send me bullshit about it

Why should you include aro flags?

many people believe that aromanticism is covered under the asexual flag, so if they include that they’re including aros, however that’s not the case. aro and ace people share the aspec community, but one identity does not fall under the other. It’s less like using the trans flag as an umbrella for all trans and nonbinary people even if there’s a separate nonbinary flag, and more like using the transmasc pride flag to represent all transmascs and transfems. Aros are just not covered under the ace flag because both groups are separate identities. people can be aro and ace but not all aros are ace.

aro is also an incredibly important identity for a lot of people, something we take a lot of pride in. we get relegated to “minor or add on identity” all the time because people keep thinking of us as the -romantic version of asexual. we have multiple terms, multiple flags, and a huge array of different aro experiences, we are not a subset of asexuality and many of us wish for that to be more respected.

last on the reasons of why you should include aros in pride posts is that we have no larger umbrella flag, unless we’re counting the rainbow flag. the aro flag is the umbrella flag for arospec identities. if you don’t include it then we aren’t being included. and this isn’t me telling you you have to include an aro option for everything you make (tho that would be nice) ppl have the right to choose what flags they want to include. but theres been many times when i see people add  flags representing all parts of the community except aro, and then add on smaller more niche flags. i don’t want this to come across as another post like “how dare you include X flag but not Y flag!!!” because i think everyone should have the joy of representation, i just think many people don’t realize they’re even leaving aros out. either through lack of awareness or lack of knowledge on what the aro flag actually is, and that’s what i wanna help with this post.

What even is the aro flag?

Let’s start with what it’s not:

[ID: a flag with four horizontal stripes. from the top down they are green, yellow, orange and black. End ID]

This was the first proposed aro flag. We do not use it anymore for a couple reasons, the main one is that it resembled another countries flag too closely and was getting confused. I’d think this one would have died out by now but i literally just saw a post include it today.

[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are dark green, light green, yellow, grey, and black. End ID]

This was the second popular aro flag. It is very close to the main aro flag now except the middle stripe is yellow. That stripe was changed due to causing some people sensory problems. This one is sometimes still accidentally used, probably because it looks very close to the main flag, but it’s not the main aro flag either.

[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are black, grey, white, light green, and dark green. End ID]

I’ve actually seen this flag used a lot by people not very knowledgeable about aros. This is a flipped version of the aro flag. I also for the life of me can’t find an example of this but i’ve seen more than once a version that is flipped and removes a stripe of green so it looks like a recolored ace flag. These are pretty common, enough for me to have seen multiple people selling merch with this incorrect flag. I think it comes from people thinking the aro flag is the same as the ace one which does start with black at the top and has only four stripes.

[ID: A flag with seven horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are black, grey, white, green, white, grey, and black. End ID]

Yeah, this is the agender flag, not the aro flag. I see these get mixed up all the time. It’s not hard so see why with similar colors and a white grey black gradient, but as someone who is agender and aro, it kinda gets on my nerves when people mix these up. Also no this is not the same color palette as the aro flag. I’ve seen people make designs labeled as agender/aromantic that just use the agender color palette. The aro flag has two greens and they’re both different than the agender green.

[ID: Two flags next to each other. The first one has five horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are orange, light orange, white, light blue, dark blue. The second flag has eight horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are dark green, light green, white, grey, black, grey, white, and purple. End ID]

These are two common aroace flag designs. These flags are used by a lot of people and you might see them included in pride posts. These are good flags, however, they should not be used to represent all aros. Including an aroace flag does not mean you’re including all aros and all aces, it means you’re including just aroaces. There’s plenty of aros who aren’t ace and aces who aren’t aro. It’d be like putting a gay trans flag in a post and saying its there to represent all gay and all trans people, when the flag is usually used to represent only people who are both gay and trans. Again, these flags are not bad, and them being included in pride posts is good actually, but they should not be used to represent all aro and all ace people.

Now let’s go over what actually is the aro flag:

[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are dark green, light green, white, grey, and black. End ID]

This is the main aro flag. It’s the one most widely used and recognized. The color meanings are dark green and light green representing the spectrum of aro identities, white meaning friendship, and grey and black representing the spectrum of sexual identities in the aro community.

But wait there’s more!

The aro identity is a spectrum, meaning theres more identities under aromantic, and they have their own flags too. If you really wanna go wild and include some other aro flags heres some more. (this is not a full list of all arospec identities, just some i see around the most. feel free to look into more arospec identities and flags! also all of these definitions are coming from me and my personal knowledge of aro identities, i do not identify as any of these though, only as aromantic, so if i give the wrong definition please tell me so i can fix it!)

[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are dark green, light green, white, yellow, and dark yellow. End ID]

This is the alloaro flag. Alloaros are aros who aren’t ace. They deserve more support and attention because they’re really amazing members of the aro community.

[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are dark green, grey, white, grey, and dark green. End ID]

This is the greyromantic flag. Greyromantic means someone who feels romantic attraction rarely. The term greyromantic is also sometimes used to mean aro identities that still feel some form of romantic attraction.

[ID: A flag with four horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are black, green, aqua, and grey. End ID]

the quoiromantic or WTFromantic flag. It means someone who can’t or doesn’t want to tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction basically. It’s got a special place in my heart bc i used to id as quoi.

[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are red orange, orange, yellow, white, and black. End ID]

This is the Lithromantic flag. Lithromantic means someone who feels romantic attraction but doesn’t want it reciprocated, or may no longer feel romantic attraction when it is reciprocated.

[ID: A flag with a black, sideways triangle on the left side pointing right and three horizontal stripes. The first stripe from the top is a thick white stripe, the next stripe is thin and dark green, and the bottom stripe is thick and grey. End ID]

The demiromantic flag. Someone who is demiro doesn’t feel romantic attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone.

And there’s many more arospec identities!

I hope i’ve helped to clear up some misconceptions about aros and our flags! We’re not under the ace umbrella, we’re our own community. We all have different experiences, different relationships to our identity, and I hope to see more people represent aros this year!

Have a happy pride month!

[callmeshakespurr]

Hey, if you're requests are open could you do a Rick Flag × Male Villian Reader (fluff) idk something cute where Rick Flag ends up falling in love with Male Reader, and the feeling is mutual. Idk you can fo what you want with it. ❤

Rick Flag x Male Reader

Requested: yes

Category: fluff, just a little bit of angst

Warnings: slight torture (?), i mention a knife like,, once

Note: I haven’t watched Suicide Squad in some time, so this could’ve turned out just the tiniest bit yandere, I hope you don’t mind! Also- I kinda struggled with this cause its my first time writing an actual one shot, but I hope you enjoyed it anyways (:

Tysm for requesting, hope you enjoy it <3

“Where is he?”, Amanda Waller called out as she walked down the hallway, towards the high security room you were currently kept in — Colonal Richard ‘Rick’ Flag not far behind her.

Her call grabbed the attention of the two guards, who stood in front of your cell.

“Is he in there?”, Amanda asked again, approaching the door with fast steps. One of the guards nodded and opened the thick metal door to let the director and the colonel in.

Amanda Waller had tried to get her hands on you for almost five years now, after you first made an apperiance in a club, killing two people. After that, several assassinations followed. Nobody knew who you exactly were, what you looked like, who you worked for; you were like a shadow — what people then came to call you, Shadow.

The major reason of why nobody could get a hold of you even in the slightest bit, was because you always vanished before anybody could even spot you.

After two years of not being able to catch you, the police gave up on further investigation in your cases. Amanda didn’t break so easily though. She wanted you in one of those cells she kept so many freaks in already, and she wasn’t going to give up until she had you sitting behind one of those metal doors, unable to escape her.

After all these years of going after you, she did manage to find out two major things about you. Why you always managed to escape without anyone catching a glimpse of you, and what your weakness was.

All these things led to the present situation.

You sat in a dark room, the only light source being a small lamp, dangling from the ceiling. Your ankles were tightly cuffed to the chair you were sitting on, on your wrists and neck you felt something cold and heavy, which seemed to send small electric shocks through your body every few seconds.

You weren’t sure where you exactly were, since you passed out before they got you. Hell, you didn’t even know who ‘they’ were.

You closed your eyes, trying to concentrate on your thoughts, which was not as easy as you hoped it would be. To say that you were in pain was an understatement. The electricity flowing through your body kept you from thinking straight, and send a wave of pure pain through your limbs with every shock you got.

A female voice ripped you from your trance, and you slowly opened your eyes again, head still hanging low. You knew that voice and you knew that you didn’t stand a chance anymore.

“Your powers won’t work anymore, unless i allow you to use them, so don’t even try.”, that voice belonged to none other than Amanda Waller, probably the only person on this planet you actually feared. You were never scared of what her minions could do to you, no. You were scared of what she could do to you if she ever managed to get you — which almost happened on several occasions.

You clenched your fists, trying to ignore the pain that came over you again, as you frantically tried to somehow sort your thoughts and find a way out of this, but nothing seemed to work. There was no way out of this. There was no escaping this. The feeling of helplessness washed over you, a feeling you didn’t like at all.

“You’re Y/N L/N, you’re a teleporter, thats how you managed to always vanish before the police got to the crime scene”, Amanda spoke, watching you as you sat there on the chair, staring at the ground, unable to move a single muscle. “It took me some time, but i managed to figure out how to block your powers”, she continued, taking slow steps towards you “Teleporters are extremely sensitive to electricity, some mightve even already died due to the constant pain if they were in your place.” She stopped right in front of you, looking down at your slumped figure, the only thing restraining you from falling over being the thick metallic handcuffs that kept your hands tied behind the chair.

Amanda grabbed your chin, forcing you to look up at her. Your sight was blurry and it cost you a lot of strength to even keep your eyes open, but you did manage to make out the silhouette of a rather tall person standing at the entrance of the cell, watching the whole scene, before your focus was back on the woman in front of you. “You’re actually a very pretty boy, Y/N, and very smart too, it’s a shame that you decided to end up like this.”, she said, before letting your face go. “Rick, take him to get the injection, then get his things and introduce him to the team. After that, you can take him to his provided cell.”

The man standing at the door — Rick, you assumed — made his way towards you, as Waller left the room, leaving you to the colonel.

Rick helped you out of the cuffs, that kept you strapped to the chair. Looking at you, he almost felt bad, you looked so drained and helpless. He had never exactly agreed with anything Amanda Waller did, but seeing what just a few hours under her control did with you was another level of not agreeing with something she did.

“Can you stand?”, the colonel asked and you nodded, slowly rising from the chair. Your legs wobbled beneath your weight and you instinctively grabbed onto whats next to you, which just so happened to be Ricks Arm.

After making sure you had gathered enough strength, he began to walk with you towards the door.

time skip

It’s been a little over a week now since they’ve brought you here — you think. Every day was the same. Sitting on the cold floor of your cell, staring at the camera in the corner of your ceiling, some guard bringing you food, you not eating it, some guard taking it away again and reporting everything to someone, more staring at the camera, someone bringing you food again, you not eating it again, the guard taking it away again and reporting everything, all over again, everyday.

The only slightest bit good and entertaining thing was the colonel — Rick Flag, as you learned was his name — checking up on you every now and then when he didn’t have anything better to do. You didn’t quite understand why Rick was making efforts to look after you, just for you to not answer his questions anyways, but you appreciated it. It made everything a little more bearable.

Of course, you were one of the bad guys, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t have a life outside of assassinations.

When you weren’t working for other bad guys, you loved to just sit in your apartment and read, you loved to go onto high buildings and watch over the city. You dreamed of leaving everything behind and exploring the world someday. You worked at your favourite coffee shop, hell you even had a cat. The thought of your only friend being probably already dead or suffering made you sad, but what could you do about it?

Sometimes, you wish you hadn’t picked the path you were on, but looking back at the time you chose to work for the bad guys, you didn’t really have a choice.

Your train of thoughts was interrupted, when you heard the door to your cell open. Hoping it would be Rick, you looked up, your eyes only half open from the lack of strength you had. What you did not expect was to see Amanda Waller standing in front of you, Rick Flag behind her.

“Stand up”, the woman demanded. You listened, as it was of no use to resist her orders. You slowly got up on your feet, which didn’t last long, since you almost immediately fell over, landing painfully hard on your knees. To your suprise, Rick immediately rushed to your side, helping you stand up again.

“I don’t need him on missions like this”, Waller spoke as she watched you lean onto Rick for support. “Take him to the base, the council and I will be waiting there in the meeting room for him.” With that, Waller left again.

The way to the car wasn’t long, but with you almost not being able to stand on you own, let alone walk on your own, it took a little longer, which only fueled your anxiety. The ride to the base was even worse though, since nobody talked and you had five guards sitting around you.

Finally arriving at the door of the meeting room, which was located in the base, the two guards standing in front of it immediately opened the door as soon as they saw the colonel.

The room was quiet at an instance, when you stepped a food inside, Rick following very close behind you — just in case something should happen.

Amanda Waller stood in front of a group of suit wearing men who all sat at one big round table, most likely discussing something. She gestured you to come next to her, to which you complied.

“And who is this now, Director Waller? A new addition to your group of- freaks?”, asked one of the men as he looked you up and down, probably doubting that someone like you could be much of an good asset.

“This, Gentlemen,”, she grabbed your arm and moved you a little forward, making you almost tumble “is Y/N L/N or ‘Shadow’, he was an assassin for almost five years now, working for several other bad guys. Nobody got a hold of him till now due to his teleporting ability. He has over a hundred confirmed kills and not once did anyone ever get near him. I’m using these electric cuffs”, she grabbed your arm again and lifted it up to present the metal cuff, which was secured around your arm “to block his powers, which means he cannot teleport, as long as the electric shocks are on full power. As soon as I turn down the power a little, he can use his power, it is more draining and limited to a certain radius, but it works. I have him under full control and I want him on the team.” Murmurs broke out between the people in the room, as soon as she finished.

“I’m sorry, director, but do you really think it’s a good idea to put another- another misfit on that team? They’re bad guys and will always stay bad guys, and their freaky abilities make them even more dangerous.”, one of the men in suits spoke.

“As I said, I have him under full control, gentlemen. Let me demonstrate.”, Amanda spoke, turning to you, as the people sitting at the table sat back.

Waller took out some kind of remote and tapped on something. First your body tensed due to all the stress and pain you were under at the moment, but as soon as Amanda tapped on the remote, the electric shocks suddenly weren’t as intense as they were before, and your whole body relaxed, your eyes almost watering due to the wave of relief washing over you.

Rick was more than tense while watched the whole situation, only realizing in how much pain you actually were when Waller turned down the intensity of the electric shocks emmitting from the metallic cuffs you were wearing.

Waller looked you in the eyes with a serious expression on her face. “You disobey, you die, got that?” And suddenly you remembered the injection they gave you, when they first brought you here.

Seeing you had no other choice than obeying her, you simply gave her a small nod and looked around the room, taking in every detail. You looked at the small table in front of you, spotting a sharp knife, which you figured was put there by Amanda specifically for you in this exact situation.

With fast movements, you grabbed the knife and teleported to the other side of the room, holding the knife to one of the mens throat. Everyone in the room stiffened even more, and you heard at least three guns clicking.

Looking up, your eyes met Rick’s, before you looked over to Waller, who was already fixated on you. You slowly pressed the knife more against the man’s throat, wanting to see what Waller was going to do. The next electric shock came and you almost yelled out in pain, letting the knife fall, teleporting back to Waller and falling to your knees, clutching the metal around your neck.

Rick wanted to rush to help you, but was quickly held back by Amanda, gesturing him to wait.

“As you can see, I can control his powers however i want to, and should he disobey in any way, or should his powers bolt”, she tilted your head with her finger, than pressed onto the spot on your neck where they injected you, “he dies.”

Still staring at the ground, you swallowed harshly. You’ve never wanted to go back in time and undo all the bad things that happened so badly like in this specific moment. Maybe if you’re parents hadn’t ever found about your ability, you would still be at home, with your family, not here, being tortured by some government lady who wanted to use you as a weapon.

“There’s one more thing. I don’t need him on any mission in this shape. He needs to recover, quickly, and while doing so, I want him under Rick Flags complete supervision. It might cost a little more effort, but think about of how much use he will be for us”, Amanda said, a mischievous expression crossing her face for a few seconds, that going unnoticed by you and pretty much everyone else in the room.

time skip

Three whole months had passed. You’ve been staying with Rick ever since Amanda Waller announced that he had to fully supervise you.

The time you spent with Rick made you feel as if everything wasn’t so bad after all. Occasional talking here and there, Rick cooking something for the both of you every now and then, you almost felt normal again — weren’t there the electric cuffs reminding you of what was real every few minutes.

Over the past three months, your sleep only got worse. You got used to the constant pain by now, but the electricity didn’t only affect you physically, it also messed up your thoughts like hell. Sometimes you didn’t know where up and down was anymore, everything was all over the place inside your mind.

That was also the reason, you were up right now, in the middle of the night, sitting at the big window in your bedroom, looking over the city. You hugged your knees tightly to your chest, and rested you chin on them, letting a few tears slip. You hadn’t cried in a long time, but you were just so exhausted. You were never this close to giving up than right now. Nothing seemed to ever be okay again, you couldn’t do anything but accept your fate.

Being to entangled in your own thoughts, you didn’t hear your bedroom door open.

It didn’t take Rick a long time to spot you in your place at the window. He just came home from a mission that Amanda Waller had wanted you on, but Rick insisted on giving you a little more time to deal with everything.

The tall man closed the door as quietly as he could behind him, which seemed to not be quiet enough, since you jumped slightly at the noise, quickly standing up and turning around. Rick gave you an apologetic look, before slowly walking towards you, “I’m sorry, I should’ve knocked, I just wanted to check up on you and see if you’re alright-“ “It’s fine, I’m fine”, you interrupted him, wiping your tears quickly, taking a deep breath.

Rick frowned, he had never seen you cry before. He cared too much for you and he knew it, he just couldn’t help himself. Stopping in front of you, he looked down at you, only for his eyes to meet yours. For a moment, you both got lost in each others eyes, before you ripped your gaze away, looking to the side.

“Do you want anything else from me?”, you asked shakily, getting a little nervous with his burning stare on you.

“I actually do, yes-“, he hesitated for a moment. You looked up at him with a questioning expression. “Close your eyes”, you complied, closing your eyes slightly, one hand moving to hold onto Rick’s shirt so you didn’t lose your balance. You felt him lean down slightly, till you could fell his warm breath on your cheek. You surpressed a shiver, as he carefully tilted your head.

Now, you didn’t really know what to expect; you and Rick had gotten closer but you weren’t sure, if there were actual romantic feelings, or if he just pitied you, so a kiss wasn’t exactly what you expected. But you definitely would’ve expected it more than what happened next.

A small ‘click’ echoed through the dark room, the next thing you knew was, that all the pain suddenly disappeared. Your eyes watered when you felt Rick’s fingers carefully removing the heavy metallic cuffs around your wrists and neco, pure relief washing over you. Your leaned your body onto Rick’s, unable to support your own weight for a few moments.

When you had finally gained control over your own body again, you moved back a few centimetres and looked up to Rick, who met your confused eyes. “I couldn’t bear to see you in so much pain any longer, so I triedmy best to convince her and I’d say I’m lucky that she trusts me with you.”, the colonel smiled a little, raising a hand to softly carress your cheek. Your eyes widened. He quickly removed his hand again and apologized, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

Rick took a step back, still being careful so you didn’t lose balance again, “I should go, and you should sleep, you need to be well rested and-“

You were fast to interrupt him by taking a quick step towards him, getting a little on your tiptoes, before pressing a small kiss to Rick’s lips. You carefully looked him in the eyes again, “I don’t know either, but it just felt like the right thing to do.”

It took the man a few seconds to process what just happened, but when he did, he was quick to kiss you again, his soft lips over yours, moving slowly, as you kissed back. He put his hands on your waist, while you locked yours behind his neck. You kissed for a few moments, before the both of you had to breathe again. “Thank you”, you whispered against Rick’s lips, before receiving another small peck. “Sleep with me tonight?”, he asked quietly, getting lost in your eyes again. You gave him a small nod, allowing him to pick you up and carry you to his room, both of you smiling as you fell onto the mattress.