#why did God make me a romantic with a sensitive heart but also make it so hard for someone to love me like that

[sensitivegoblin]

Ramble

[evanpetersmybf]

All he asked for was you

Tate Langdon x female!reader

Summary: Tate loves you too much. He would do anything for you, to keep you by his side, to make you love him forever. He would cross any line to make you his, it doesn't matter how evil it is... But was it really worth it?

Genre: ANGST!! and some smut

Word count: 5,104

Warnings: Obsessive, stalkish and violent behavior, implicit toxic relationship; mentions of weapons, murder, mental health issues, family issues, school shooting; use of Y/N, swearing, cunnilingus, fingering, unprotected p in v. (i hope i'm not missing any...) NOT PROOFREAD !!

A/N: English isn't my first language!! Sorry if I have some mistakes and if Tate's a bit ooc (i tried to keep him in character as much as i could). I wasn't sure (and still not) if this is good but I spent days writing it, so I had to post it.

A small playlist with songs that inspired me for this: monster by meg and dia, pacify her by melanie martinez, all i want is you by rebzyyx, skyfall by adele, psycho by doko, paparazzi by lady gaga, dark red by steve lacy.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ཐི ♡ ཋྀ

Tate never believed in love, nor was he a romantic one. 

In fact, he despised it. How could he even believe in that feeling when he never felt loved by his own mother? At least that’s what he pretended.

The blond always had the facade of a tough guy, although he couldn’t fool anyone. Constance knew well he was a sensitive boy. Probably the most crybaby ever to exist… And the most unstable one.

Now he was here. His chest going up and down, breathing shallow and fast. His eyes were darting around the room, looking for something or perhaps someone. Some silly tears were rolling down his cheeks while he anxiously fidgeted with a ring on his finger. The clock on the wall continued its tick-tack. The time kept running. His heart kept beating. It was getting late.

He refused to look at the wooden floor. He didn’t want to accept reality. If Tate did that, he would feel like the biggest monster on Earth.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t stay like this.

He had to do something real fast.

Today, 18:40

You were supposed to arrive at 19:00.

But he remained there, next to the corpse of his rival. A bloody ax beside the dead man’s bleeding head.

Whom he thought was his worst enemy, was someone really dear to you.

Well, Tate fervently believed this was something justified. He couldn’t stand that fucking asshole anymore! That scumbag needed to be put back in his place. And Tate only did that. Furthermore, he actually helped him. He took him away from this shitty world. It was a favor.

He had already killed his mother’s boyfriend, so why was he feeling guilty?

Maybe because his victim was special to you. Because his death would hurt you. And Langdon swore to God he would never let anybody or anything hurt you, including himself.

He loved you.

He wanted to be the one to hold your hand forever.

Tate snapped back to the present and frowned. He picked up the weapon, putting it in his backpack. He didn’t even mind cleaning it. Then, he proceeded to knelt right next to the lifeless dude and cleaned the blood surrounding his body; afterwards, he dragged him to the basement and…

19:00

A knock on the door.

You arrived.

“DAMN IT!” 

He left his dead foe lying limp on the cold basement ground and quickly ran upstairs, straight to his room. He also left the backpack there.

Tate spent the last twenty minutes cleaning the mess he made in the living room after he atrociously smashed your friend’s head, forgetting that had poor time to get ready. 

He desperately looked for clean clothes, scrambling the entire closet in search of fresh garments while he cussed at himself, at his mother, at that freaking boy, at the entire world but you.

Finally he found some jeans and a striped shirt. He looked at himself in the mirror after changing and cleaned the tiny drops of blood that stayed on his face and hands. He never realized he left the bloody clothing on the bed.

Another knock.

19:07

Tate opened the door, immediately throwing himself at you and giving you one of the warmest hugs. His demeanor with you was completely different; you were the only creature capable of changing his fucked up mind into something more beautiful, more peaceful. The issue was that it only happened when he was with you, otherwise he would be aggressive and rude as usual.

You got the best of him. 

“Missed you so fuckin’ much, babe…” Voice muffled since his face was buried in the crook of your neck. Tate always did the same thing; clinging onto you like a small koala would.

“Heh, me too, hun!” You spoke with the same soothing voice he adored. Tate giggled and placed a tender kiss on your jawline, then another, and another, and another.

Soon enough, he was peppering kisses all over your neck, making you moan softly. Oh those sounds. He could hear you melting under his touch, his embrace, for the rest of eternity.

He loved making you squirm, making you laugh, making you feel loved.

He was way too sweet.

Only if you knew.

Four weeks before today…

Tate has always had the bad habit of stalking you. Yeah… He wasn’t proud of it. But can you blame him? He’s constantly afraid of you leaving him. He wanted to make sure you never did so… Otherwise he would die. Literally.

Don’t ask how he would die. You already know the answer.

You two were supposed to have a date, albeit you had to cancel your meeting.

And that, of course, made him overthink. It didn’t matter how many times you told him you were going to study; he felt betrayed, as if you were rejecting him. And Tate hated and feared rejection to the bone.

“Pretty please? Please, Y/N! I don’t wanna go home early, mom’s gonna be there and-and–”

“Tate, I can’t skip this. I have like, a test every day next week and I must study. I don’t wanna fail. Please, sweetie. I promise I’ll make it up to ya’, mhm?” 

He rolled his eyes and whined, almost throwing a tantrum. He didn’t try to manipulate you on purpose. It came out naturally. “But I need you, Y/N! Why do you always do the same, huh? Am I not that important? Don’t you love me any longer?”

His childish crying continued for a couple of minutes, until it stopped and the blond agreed a deal with you.

You thought he was calm now, but no. How naive.

You went to the library to study as you said… Without noticing he followed you.

Quietly, he got into that maze of books after you and hid behind some shelves.

Tate noticed you sat on an empty table. Thank God. Oh?

Who. Is. He.

A man Tate didn’t know sat next to you. Really close. Too close for Tate’s liking. He tried to think he was a stranger, that he wasn’t going to talk to you… He was wrong.

He clenched his hands into a ball when he saw that idiot talking to you, and the worst part was that you followed suit. It seemed you two were friends or something.

How DARE YOU talk to another man? No, how dare you talk to another HUMAN BEING!?

Tate was insecure 24/7.

If you weren’t there, Tate was falling apart. It was simple.

No Y/N, no happy Tate. Was it too hard to understand?

Three weeks before today…

It was Friday. Tate was impatiently waiting for you outside the campus, hanging a small bouquet of flowers he picked up.

Once he spotted you coming out from the building, he waved his hand and embraced you tightly once you were in front of him. He gave you the adorable present.

“Tate!”

“How did you do? Did you pass your tests? Don’t tell me, I’m sure you did.” Said, grinning from ear to ear. He was away from you for an entire week. How did he survive? He didn’t know, but he was glad to have you with him again. “Tell me about your life in the last days, baby. Please? I feel like I haven’t seen you in years!”

There he was, the one and only drama queen Tate Langdon.

You talked about the tests, about how the teachers were being a pain in the ass (which clearly triggered in him the intense desire of hurting them because they stressed you), and… About a guy. The same guy from the library, with whom you spent the entire last week studying. He couldn’t stand it. He saw him as a threat to your relationship, especially since he was an old friend that you met many years ago. 

As the days went by, you gave him more reasons to hate that jerk. Why? Well of course because you spent hours at the library doing homework or studying with him. Or even hanging out with him and other people.

In reality, you went out with him to a museum just once, and then skating with other colleagues. Nothing compared to the time you spent with Tate; in a week, you would hang out with him almost daily, and if you were way too busy, he would go to your place and spend the night there. He was so attached to you to the point he had to see you at least once a day. And that’s why he was so jealous of your friend. Tate couldn’t stand the idea of you sharing your life with someone else who wasn’t him or your family… And he also got jealous of them, but he was handling it.

Two weeks before today.

After Tate’s pleas, you decided to introduce your friend to him.

Probably a big mistake.

The date was really awkward; your friend tried being nice, and Tate acted surprisingly kind. Of course it was odd; usually, he despised all of your friends and treated them badly, yet this time was different. You were stunned, however, you tried to ignore it and instead got happy as he finally accepted a random person as your buddy. 

Still and all, he hated that moron. It didn’t matter how much he tried liking your pal, he was jealous of him. He was getting on his nerves. He denied the fact that you had more love for other people that wasn’t him. Tate desired being your only one. Your number one. Your entire world. Because that’s what you were for him. And he was willing to do whatever to keep you with him.

Tate exchanged numbers with him and meticulously plotted a plan to ascertain he would never talk to you ever again. At first, it came out as a simple “I’m gonna scare the shit outta him”, nonetheless, it turned into a darker idea, very likely involving physical violence.

One week before today…

The last few days, Tate won Peter’s trust. Ah yes. That’s your friend's name. You were glad that he finally opened his warm heart and began to meet more people besides you.

You thought he needed a friend, an empathetic person who could support the blond when you weren’t available, that way he would feel less lonely and depressed.

They went to the cinema, to the arcade, even to a music store. Everything was going according to what he planned.

Eventually, he invited Peter to his place to play chess and other board games on a Sunday afternoon, before you arrived and had a date with Tate due to your anniversary. 

Today, 16:00

Peter and Tate were eating pizza and having a great noon, talking about their lives and random stuff, like school and music. They both enjoyed Nirvana, and since Peter played the guitar, he agreed on teaching your boy how to.

If it weren’t for Tate’s twisted mind, they would’ve been best friends.

The guitarist wasn’t a bad guy. He was a great buddy that really appreciated you and the crybaby, but Langdon had something else in mind.

18:00

The men watched a movie. Tate didn’t even know its name; in fact, he didn’t even pay attention to it. Instead, he was focused on his next actions, plotting them carefully.

“Crap, mom’s gonna arrive soon…” Tate mumbled with annoyance, biting his nails and tapping his foot on the floor. He was lying. You were going to arrive, not Constance.

“Damn, bro. Well, I don’t have a problem. I wanna meet her.”

“Huh? No no no, you shouldn’t. That bitch is crazy.”

Peter scoffed, disagreeing with Tate’s rude manner to call his own momma.

“Hey, you shouldn’t talk like that. I bet she loves you!”

That pissed him off. “You don’t know anything, Peter. Your family is different. Your life’s different. You won’t understand!” He yelled, standing up from the couch and now pacing around the room, trying to keep it calm.

“Dude, calm down!

“NO! I fucking won’t!”

The screaming continued for a while. Tate revealed his unstable and crystal self. Even something so insignificant could drive him to the edge, like what happened today. That definitely surprised the other one, who used to think that Tate was a sweet boy. “I dunno why Y/N is dating you.”

“What did you say?” Tate abruptly stopped pacing.

“Y/N. Y/N doesn’t deserve you.”

“WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT!?” He pounced on Peter, gripping his neck with one rough hand, applying enough pressure on the sides to stop the blood circulation in his carotids and make him lose consciousness.

Before passing out, Peter, getting pale, managed to croak out: “Because she deserves better…”

Soon enough, he fainted, giving Tate minutes to think about what else to do. 

Your boyfriend wasn’t planning on murdering Peter today. No, he didn’t have time. He also was supposed to meet you.. But this was the perfect excuse! And not only that; he indirectly admitted he was in love with you! Or that’s what Tate interpreted with his delusional point of view.

Peter didn’t feel anything romantic for you, he was just worried Tate might be too unhinged to be your partner.

Thus, he went to his room and grabbed his backpack. Then, went to the garden shed and picked up the ax that belonged to his father, and a bottle of lye.

He had to get the job done quickly, nevertheless, he lost track of time.

18:30

Tate came back to the living room, just to notice that Peter wasn’t there anymore.

“FUCK IT!” Langdon got nervous. What if he escaped? What if he told you that Tate was crazy? He couldn’t allow this, not at all.

Thankfully, or maybe not, Tate found Peter crawling towards the front door, the poor dude still feeling dizzy after being choked.

Tate didn’t have any mercy.

“Where do you think you’re going, lil’ piece of shit!?”

18:38

Tate finally did it. He brutally murdered Peter, smashing his head several times with the ax.

He got rid of that little issue. He took him to somewhere clean.

Once he assured the other man wasn’t breathing, he dropped the weapon on the floor, making a loud metallic thud.

19:10

Tate was pinning you down on the couch, the same couch where your dead friend was sitting just an hour ago.

His hands were traveling all along your body, tracing sweet patterns on your skin.

Eventually, his fingers were clumsily pulling down your panties, not minding to take off your skirt. “Did you bring this for easy access, baby?” Tate chuckled and buried his face between your legs, holding your thighs in place; his lips plastered messy kisses over the warm flesh, biting it and leaving tiny marks after sucking.

Your reaction was alluring to him; he enjoyed listening to your pleas, to your whimpers. If it was for him, he would spend the entire day making you cum over and over again.

He finally got rid of your underwear, tossing it aside. Without further ado, the boy spread your folds with his large digits, and continued to lick your throbbing wet cunt.

“So fucking pretty… So wet for me, huh?”

His tongue lapped your small clit two or three times, then, traced a zigzag and circles on the sensitive nub. While he devoured you, he inserted his middle and ring finger, pumping them in and out of your cute hole, curling them and hitting the right spot to make you feel butterflies.

Tate could feel his arousal growing; his erection being restrained by the tight fabric of his jeans. He was desperate, yeah. But he always put you in the first place, and that included pleasuring you before him.

After a while, he replaced his fingers with his tongue, fucking your pussy with the agile muscle and now rubbing your clit with his thumb, applying pressure that sent electric waves through your body. He stopped using his tongue on you and instead looked at that stunning face of yours. He was delighted with your flushed cheeks, with every single gesture you did, with the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head. He wanted to take a picture of you to remember this moment forever.

His thumb increased the pace, while his free hand lifted up your blouse and tried to undo your bra. He couldn’t. You giggled when he groaned in frustration; he was too horny to think straight and that’s why you helped him to take off the garment.

Tate sighed and after that awkward and funny moment, he kept rubbing your bud, using your own juices and his saliva as a lubricant, intensifying the sensation. His left pinched and pulled your nipple, making you gasp and twitch beneath him, whilst his mouth abused your other one, greedily sucking on it.

“Tate, ‘m gonna cum! I-”

Tate cut you off by kissing you harshly; his tongue invading your warm mouth, exploring it and then nibbling your bottom lip until it bleeded. He licked the tiny drops of blood, savoring the metallic taste of it.

Unable to hold on any longer, you reached your orgasm, coming undone while Tate kept caressing your pussy, decreasing the velocity while you finally calmed down.

He left you panting; your heart beating so fast just like his.

You tried to sit up on the couch, breathing deep for more air, but the blond prevented you from going away.

“Where do you think you’re doing? We’re not done yet, you’re gonna cum again!”

Tate carried you bridal style and went upstairs straight to his bedroom. He threw you on the bed.

Without stopping looking at you, he unbuckled his belt and pulled down his jeans along the boxers; his dick already erect and throbbing, the veins thick and the tip leaking precum.

Using the clear liquid as lube, he stroked his shaft for a while, jerking off to the sight of you. He groaned and whimpered, closing his eyes as his hand pumped himself.

One of your hands went to your breasts, massaging them softly as your right went down between your legs, slowly teasing your womanhood and coating your index finger with your arousal, using it to rub your aching bundle of nerves.

Tate’s dark room was now filled with both of your moans; Tate calling your name several times and you begging him to fuck you.

He couldn’t stand this anymore. He NEEDED to be inside you, to feel your warmth enveloping him. “On all fours. Now.” You immediately obeyed, feeling as eager as him.

“Look at me, mhm?” He positioned behind you and rubbed the tip against your wet folds, teasing you for a bit. Afterwards, he slowly entered his cock inside your slit, moving it slowly at first. His thumb went to your clitoris, toying with it just like minutes before. He picked up the pace and fucked you fast and hard; his cockhead brushing your cervix. Grabbing a fistful of your hair, Tate pulled your head towards him, still with the deep thrusting.  “Fuck, Y/N! You’re so pretty… So fucking precious, so fucking mine!” Moaned against your ear, voice raspy and agitated.

Panting, you stopped looking at him and instead looked to the bed. Why? Who knows, but you did it. And you saw Tate’s dirty clothes. Dirty with blood. A lot of blood.

You froze. Maybe it was red paint? 

“U-uh, Tate?” You muttered, feeling already bewildered by the sight. You tried not to jump into conclusions, although you knew Tate and he has always been… Secretive.. And aggressive, of course. 

After your boyfriend heard your shaky whisper, he stopped moving, even if he wanted to keep going. “Hm?”

“What’s this?” Tate sighed and pulled out from you, not understanding what you meant. 

“What’s what?”

Without saying anything else to him, you grabbed the shirt and touched the weird stain. It was still fresh. You took your fingers to your mouth to taste it; and the metallic tang was too obvious. “Tate, what the fuck is this!?”

You threw it at him. Freaked out, you stood up and picked up your clothes, putting them on again, all meanwhile Tate connected the dots and realized he was probably going to get caught.

“Wait, Y/N! It’s not what it looks like, I swear, damn it!” He yelled and grabbed your arm, not wanting you to leave like this. He had to save his reputation, he couldn’t let you think bad of him even if you had all the right. Because, why the fuck the fabric was soaked in blood?

“Then what is it, Tate? WHY DOES IT HAVE SO MUCH BLOOD!?”

“CALM DOWN, PLEASE!” 

You attempted to get away from his grip, struggling with him until, somehow, you managed to do so. However, you tripped with his dirty shoes and fell, realizing they were also stained with the red liquid. “Tate, what…? Why? What is this?”

“Nothing, I swear!” He didn’t have any excuses. Saying it was paint would’ve been lame. You were too smart and he knew lying wasn’t a good choice.

Feeling overwhelmed with the matter, you went downstairs, walking as fast as you could. Passing through the living room, a very familiar bag caught your eye. It was definitely Peter’s. You decided to grab it and realized it had his phone inside. Something was off.

Tate was standing behind you; fists clenched and heart beating like crazy. He tried to approach you, still thinking about what to do or what to say. 

“Tate… What is this doing here? Peter’s here?” 

“Huh? Yeah… He— He came earlier and had to go soon, he left this accidentally, yup…” You could see him fidgeting with that ring on his finger, again. 

“Bullshit!”

Tate scowled and grabbed your chin, making you look at his dark orbs. “Tell me, Y/N, do you trust me or not, huh? Look me in the eyes and say you don’t!”

The struggle continued for what seemed eternity. You trying to run away from the house and he trying to make you stay. “Please, Y/N, just listen to me!”

“You did something to him, right? I know him, Tate! He would NEVER leave his phone like this! Is this a joke?”

“Why do you care so much about that asshole!? What has he done for you!? Tell me!”

“Oh my, you’re jealous! I knew it! All that crap about being his friend was a lie, right? Tate, you’re being delusional! I can have friends, I can hang out with whoever I want, whether you like it or not!” 

Tate pressed your cheeks between his thumb and the rest of his fingers, squeezing the flesh with his veiny, big hand, pressing it tightly enough to leave the mark of his long digits on it.

“You can’t! You’re mine. Only mine. Since the day you were born you were meant to be mine. Not his, not anybody, just me.”

“Tate… We should end this…” You thought this was the best for both. Being in a relationship with him was draining; always being careful to not hurt him, make him jealous or mad. He was such a sensitive boy that always took everything too personally. He felt everything a little too much.

Since the beginning you knew he was unstable and that he had many issues, but you tried to see beyond his sick mind, you tried to understand him despite being so different.

Tate felt so safe with you. You were the only person who understood him, or at least made attempts to. 

He felt rejected by the entire society, even by his own mother, until he met you and he had a minimum spark of hope that the world didn’t suck that much.

That’s why he clung to you. That’s why you were his everything. He would lose his mind if you leave him.

He felt like dying when he heard you wanted to finish the relationship.

He couldn’t breathe. 

Some tears were now falling to the floor, his eyes puffy and an ugly frown on his face. His mouth twisted as he sobbed loudly, tugging the hem of your shirt while he begged you to stay. He was crying like a newborn, like a baby who had to be apart from his mother for a second.

“No no no no, you can’t do this to me!” He whimpered, his speech cracking as he tried to hold you close whilst you were stepping back. You were slipping through his fingers, you were leaving him.

“Tate, if something happened to Peter, I will never forgive you! Can’t you see you’re hurting me?”

Tate swore he would never hurt you, nor let anyone. But here he was, finally snapping out of it and seeing the cruel truth. 

“You’ve been hurting me the whole time, Tate! I tried to understand you, I really did, I tried to help you, to save you from yourself! But it’s impossible. I’m losing myself here with you, I don’t even know who I am anymore! You don’t want help, do you? ‘Cause it doesn’t matter what I do, you’re never satisfied! You suffocate me!”

All those words were like daggers penetrating his skin, touching his nerves and making him die of pain. You were tearing him apart, just the way he was destroying you.

He finally let go of you, feeling a tornado of emotions. Tate felt depressed, mad, resentful, like he was going crazy. Though, he knew he had to leave if that’s what you wanted. He couldn’t bring himself to break another promise.

Thereby, he confessed his crimes to you. He explained he killed his mom’s partner a few days ago, and that now he had killed your friend. Why? He was jealous, he was scared you’d left him. You did it before you discovered the cruel reality, anyways. That’s why he told you. Because he couldn’t lose anything else.

The situation was utterly disgusting. Tate was sick. He murdered an innocent man and then proceeded to fuck you, as it was the maximum test of love, as if his life meant nothing.

You knew he wasn’t what people often considered “normal”. But this was definitely more than just being a “weirdo”. Tate needed psychiatric help… And being arrested, of course.

“You make me wanna puke, Tate! You’re the evil!”

Without hesitating, you left Tate behind, running as fast as you could from that living hell.

You just wanted to cry, curl up into a ball and wake up from this nightmare. You wished it was merely a bad dream.

Tomorrow morning, you’d go to the police, but for now you needed to sleep.

Monday morning, 11:05

You couldn’t sleep all night. You spent hours thinking about everything, about how this looked like a cruel joke to you. Eventually, you fell asleep at 4AM, and didn’t wake up at what seemed almost midday. 

An intense sound of police sirens woke you from your slumber. Startled by the loud noise, you rubbed your eyes and went to the window, trying to get a glimpse of what was happening outside.

Police cars and SWAT vans were going in a specific direction… Towards Tate’s street. It couldn’t be, right?

Did his mother find the corpse? Or perhaps something else?

You looked at the clock, realizing it was late and you had to go to class. 

08:00

After the most painful night of his life, Tate decided today everything would be over.

He had to cleanse the world… To take people to somewhere else, to some place full of peace away from the piss and the vomit that runs down the streets.

He was doing this not only because of your breakup, but also because of many other reasons. Your split up was the straw that broke the camel and drove him to the edge.

10:40

 After shooting the school, Tate left the place, looking unfazed about what he just did. He was unhinged. 

He peacefully got into his place, went to his room and stayed there for some minutes. 

The blond sat on the edge of the bed, leaving the gun right next to him and stared at nothing. His gaze was empty, but also there were some tears threatening to spill.

His mind was a whirlwind. Some part of him was satisfied, but the other was confused, wondering what was he thinking, what had he done?

What would you think of him now? Were you even there? Did he kill you too and he didn’t even notice?

In the end, he recognized he indeed was the evil you said. Damn it. You were right, again, as ever.

Tate wanted to hear your voice, to comfort him, to hear you saying everything was okay. That he’d be okay. He desired to hear “I love you” from you once more.

11:15

You went downstairs to find your family apparently mourning you.

They thought you were at school when the shooting happened. They believed you were gone, but here you were. 

Eventually, they explained to you what happened.

The first thing that popped into your mind was Tate’s wellbeing, still unaware that he was the culprit. You were afraid something terrible could’ve happened to him, you were regretting your last words to him, but you also had to get him prisoner.

Your heart dropped when they explained to you he was the shooter.

No, it couldn’t be possible. 

It was possible. After all, he had already killed two men.

Even if you despise what he did, some part of you still longed for him, still was in love with his once kind heart.

A terrifying feeling of dread filled your body, making you feel numb, as if none of this was real… 

11:25

After running to Tate’s house and seeing it surrounded by the cops and the SWAT team, everything stopped. Constance’s distressed cries and pleas were heard from outside, followed suit by the sound of bullets. It was over now.

Tate was certainly a troubled individual who dedicated his entire life to searching for something, to feel something, to feel loved.

All he asked for was love, to be loved, to love. All he wanted was you.

But at the same time, your love led him to an never-ending obsession that ultimately broke both of you.

He became your biggest regret.

All he feared, all his nightmares came true. Everything he was so afraid of was him and only himself. 

[shadesofecclescakes]

Are you a big fanfic reader? What have you read lately and what's been your favourite fic so far?

Oh mannnnnnnnn. Why don't you ask me to pick a favourite child while you're at it???

Just kidding. I don't have kids. But I assume having to pick a favourite would be hard if I did.

So, am I a big fanfic reader? YES. And what haven't I read lately? We are lucky enough to have so many talented writers in this fandom that it's possible to subscribe to numerous multi-chapter fics to the point where you're just constantly getting update emails. Which I do. It's great. It gives me something to do at work aside from, y'know, work.

*Me at work being smug about being paid to read porn* (Also I just wanted to look at this gif)

So what is currently on my endless update list? Coming up after the cut!

I am an absolute whore for human AU, so if you like that then you will probably like:

The Cure for a Broken Heart by @rofell

a medical student AU based in the Canadian medical system (I'm a Canadian so I was pretty excited about that). It manages to tackle the continued systemic discrimination of Indigenous people in our medical system (and in general), homophobia and the ensuing trauma from those things all while also being informative, funny, sweet, romantic and hot af. Like. It's so good.

Free by @maaikeatthefullmoon

This is another one with with a heavy topic that also does a great job of making sure to break it up with some excellent fluff, hurt/comfort and humorous moments. And it's handled with the sensitivity and thoughtfulness necessary to write something that takes place in a mental health ward and deals with some intense situations. Definitely make sure to read those author notes before diving in. They lay it out very thoroughly.

The Sincere Way by @tsyvia48

A martial arts AU. Crowley is a karate sensei and Aziraphale is his student. Slow burn that keeps you on the edge. The screams I have scrumt at my screen over this one. Plus you learn a lot about karate (but it never gets boring or over-explainey. Excellently balanced) which is pretty cool. Mostly light (there is some angst. This is the Good Omens fandom. I think we are all sad, wet chihuahuas at heart). Funny and sweet.

Terminus by @emotional-support-demon-crowley

Plus One by @caedmonfaith

Astronaut AU. Aziraphale is an astronaut who meets his mission controller, Crowley, over the comms system when he finds himself in need of assistance.

Super cool concept and really well-done in my opinion. Like, I don't do any space or physics-related work (ok I straight-up failed math 9) but I find it entirely believable. And it's well-written which is the entire point. Cute, funny slow burn with an intriguing mystery happening in the background.

Aziraphale has family money but a shitty family (except for Muriel! Never Muriel!) and his shitty brother Gabriel is getting married to shitty Michael, an Earl's daughter.

Aziraphale's family disproves of his entire life pretty much and he has been lying to them about having a boyfriend. Now they are expecting him to bring said boyfriend to the wedding. His famous footballer friend sets him up with their mechanic, Crowley.

It starts as a slow-burn but becomes a hilarious, smutty romp that just gets more and more insane. The chapter titles alone have made me cackle out loud.

Some older human AUs I'm a huge fan of include Old Vines by @sevdrag. Crowley owns a vineyard and Aziraphale is a wine critic. It is so amazingly written. It makes me think of the author Joanna Harris (Chocolat, The Five Quarters of the Orange) because it's SO beautifully, vividly descriptive that I end up craaaaaving wine. So have a bottle on hand if you're giving this a read.

Also the love story in this. My god. I devoured it. The story and the (many bottles of) wine.

There is also Loosely Ballroom by marginalia_device and mortifyingideal. It's a Strictly Come Dancing (Dancing with the Stars in North America) AU and it is so. Fucking. Good.

But it comes with a disclaimer. It's unfinished and looks likely to stay that way. But honestly? Still worth it. It's nearly finished (I think) so you have most of the story. And it's just SO good. It's been a while since I read it but it was one of the first human AUs I read and what got me hooked on them.

If you're still with me...nice! Just know that was me holding back and that isn't my entire list by a long shot. If you want more recs, feel free to message me and also share your own!

I just finished Slow Show the actor AU by @mia-ugly and yes please.

Some serious angst, pining and hot hot smut.

There is another long-form multi-chapter actor au I loooved but I can't remember the name for the life of me. Just that the show they were on was basically good omens and that they swapped roles with great success (inspired by the whole Michael thinking Neil wanted him to play Crowley when he wanted Aziraphale thing).

Thanks for the ask! That was really fun!

[th3secr3th1story]

can you do one of geto and gojo when they say i love you for the first time??

gojo and geto saying "i love you" for the first time

of course, thank you for the request, anon! and whewww sorry for being mia but im back (hopefully.)

warnings: none, just fluff! some angst in gojo's if you squint?

words: 1,060

gojo

he had to physically restrain himself from saying it after just a month of dating. it was a struggle.

he didn't want to rush you or make you feel like your relationship was on full blast, but he was so smitten! he knew he loved you practically right away.

he wanted to save it for the right moment, maybe after a romantic outing at your favorite restaurant, but it slipped out during one of your fights after you caught him neglecting his well-being yet again.

"my god, satoru, you're not listening to me, i swear," you mumbled, rubbing your eyes with the palms of your hands.

you weren't sure how long the two of you had been fighting, but you were so tired, just wanting to get your point across and go to bed. however, you couldn't see that happening anytime soon, as gojo wasn't even trying to acknowledge what you were saying.

"really? because i think my ears are working just fine. and it sounds like you want me to quit," he retorted, hands on his hips as he looked over at you.

you knew he was sensitive about the topic of overworking, but there was only so much you could ignore before stepping in.

"i'm not saying i want you to stop going on missions! we're both sorcerers, for fuck's sake. it's our job. i'm just asking you to be more careful. you're relying too much on your infinity and you're barely taking care of yourself," you breathed, trying to keep your tone even and measured.

you pressed on, more softly this time, "did you really think i wouldn't notice your eye bags or the fact that sometimes you don't come home until 2 in the morning covered in god knows what?"

"that's not true! why do you have no faith in me?" you didn't think it was possible for your fist to clench anymore without either breaking it or throwing it at gojo's face.

"why can't you see how terrified i am? it's only a matter of time before you don't come home, satoru."

gojo's words died in his throat, finally catching sight of the fear and dread in your eyes. his heart tightened a little.

"i love you too much to let anything like that happen to me, baby."

"i know, but- wait, what?"

he walked up to you, placing his hands on both sides of your waist, pulling you into him.

"you heard me. i love you so much, baby. you're everything to me. i understand what you're saying now."

you placed your hands on his chest, the entire fight forgotten with just those three words.

"i love you too, satoru."

gojo pulled you in tighter, afraid that if he let go you'd take those words right back.

"say it again. please?" he asked.

"i love you so much," you smiled, half-whispering.

gojo moved one of his hands up to the back of your neck, pulling you in for a gentle kiss.

"so...are you still mad at me?" he quipped, smiling softly.

"this is a nice moment. let's not ruin it."

geto

similar to gojo, he also wanted to find the right time to say it. but unlike the other, geto can actually wait for the perfect moment.

it took him a little longer to come to terms with his feelings for you due to his fear of vulnerability, but once he realized how deeply he loved you it was practically the only thing on his mind.

you and geto had slept in longer than usual that morning, seeing that it was a saturday.

"baby, wake up," he whispered, trailing soft kisses down your neck, pulling your back into his chest tighter. he had successfully convinced you to spend the night at his place (although, you hadn't resisted at all).

"nooo," you whined, melting into his embrace. "it's saturday, we can just stay here all day!"

"i was going to take you to that one cafe you love down the street, but i guess this works, too."

you huffed. "why do you hate me?"

after a nice breakfast spent over pastries and coffee, geto walked with you down the street to your favorite bookstore, letting you pick out a few novels to bring home. he paid, of course.

now, the two of you were seated together on the couch, your legs straddling his waist as you played with his soft hair. his hands held onto your hips, somehow pulling you in closer with each passing minute.

you noticed how his breath kept catching in his throat. "are you okay, suguru? something you want to talk about?"

finally, with a mix of courage and fear, geto took a deep breath and whispered in a soft tone, "you are the most important person to me."

"above satoru? i'm honored," you chuckled, hoping to distill some of his fear.

he merely smiled, continuing on with his speech.

"i've always been scared of opening up. i mean, of course, i have satoru and shoko, but vulnerability was never something that came easy to me," he spoke, a light blush dusting his cheeks at those last words.

you listened attentively, taking in everything he was saying, noticing how he was struggling to get his thoughts out. you gently stroked his neck, hoping it would encourage him to keep talking.

"but with you, it's different. i've always been drawn to your presence. this feeling i have, it's confusing and so complex, but absolutely undeniable."

he paused momentarily, perhaps bracing the both of you for his next words.

"i love you, y/n. you don't have to feel the same way, and you also don't have to respond right now, but i needed to tell you."

you cupped his face, rubbing your thumbs over his cheeks.

"i love you too, baby. more than you'll ever know," you whispered, the impact of his confession clear in your expression.

he (somehow) pulled you even further into his embrace, a hand coming up to the back of your head to rest it on his shoulder as he buried his own in your neck.

"move in with me?"

"huh??" you gaped, pulling yourself away from his neck to look into his eyes, seeing only sincerity and adoration.

"baby, you basically already live here. this would just make it official. what do you think?"

"...of course."

[rorichuu]

Hello! If it's not too troublesome, I'd like to request a head cannon/reaction to all the TF2 mercs with a partner super sensitive to touch!, specific around the neck, back and hips!

I'd like this to be male oriented please!

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑 ; 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐬 𝐱 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

pairing: all mercs x m!reader

authors note: some romantic, some not... but i recently got back into my tf2 phase so please excuse if I'm a bit rusty (especially with soldier's, I'm still learning how to write him)... hope you enjoy it!

disclaimer: as someone who hc's pyro as aroace, i will be making their's platonic... i hope this is alright! but if you were especially looking forward to pyro's, i can make an edit or two to fix that for ya.

scout:

personally, i see scout being a very physical lover. (nothing sexual, just light touches, holding your hand, leaning against you, etc.)

so, when he found out you were sensitive to his touch, he LOVED it.

he especially loves how much of a reaction it gets out of you, really.

whenever you're on the battlefield, he'll most definitely run past you (only if you're in the safe) and graze your lower back.

one time he even started to backpedal as soon as he did so, all to just see your reaction... he loves it!

...

a personal favorite headcanon of mine is that he's an ass tapper...

i don't make the rules, sorry.

soldier:

not a very huge physical touch guy, i'll be honest.

in the romantic aspect of it, anyway.

he shows his affection through acts of service!

but he's pretty big into roughhousing/wrestling!

once you two, and a few other mercs, were participating in a good ol' arm wrestling contest

so far, heavy has won (quite obviously)... but he was voted out pretty fast since it was mad unfair (we love you tho, sorry heavy)

but, the person who was winning so far was soldier... and scout had failed miserably against him for the 20th time

"that's dumb! i won fair and square! he just cheated, did ja' see that?!"

scout went flexing for a good 2 minutes before it came up to you

soldier saw you approach and he had the DUMMBBESSSTT SMILE ON HIS FACE

his heart melts to honey whenever he sees you I swear

but anyway

it was your turn and you had quite a determined expression on your face

you were hand-in-hand and the other mercs were shouting for either one of you

while the mix of chorals of cheers were sung in the room, you had mustered just about all your strength to slam his fist into the table

...

get the man a cold rag he's burning up

GOD HES SO IN LOVE WITH YOU

YOU JUST DEFEATED HIM IN AN ARM WRESTLING FIGHT

HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH

but once you two pulled away, soldier grazed just below your inner palm; your wrist where it bends.

all of a sudden, all noise started to fade out

your face was BEET red and your hand was massaging your wrist

soldier started to notice the state you were in just after he picked you up and started cheering: "THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND!!!!" so proud

but when he noticed you, he was asking what was wrong... but you just shrugged it away and tried to hide your face

. . .

tbh, he didn't quite understand what got you so blushy that day... and it was sticking with him the entire week

when he asked you why you were, you explained it to him... and he very bluntly asked if he could keep touching you like that (ONLY IF YOU LIKED IT! if you don't, he made it his sworn duty to give you your space!!)

if you agreed and said it was alright, he'd find ways to just hold ya :)

he loves you so much I'm gonna explode

pyro:

again, to me, pyro is aroace! meaning, i don't see pyro being in a romantic nor sexual relationship with anyone.

but they LOVE physical touch

they love hugs, leaning against you, or just holding your hand

but when you two were on the field, on a particularly hot day, there was a fly claimed on your neck.

their immediate thought is to help! so, with those big gloves of theirs, they graze your neck to successfully drive the pest away! woohoo!!! but also... why were you so flushed?

"mmph, mphhr, mphr!?" worried they might've done something wrong, they asked what was the matter/if you were okay.

understanding the tone in their voice, you waved your hand in a 'don't worry about it' manner... but you ended up explaining your sensitivities.

pyro understood!

and whether you like physical touch or not, pyro holds your hand/tries their best to keep their distance the best they can

(and if you don't like it, sometimes engineer has to remind pyro (they forget sometimes)... but they mean so well!!!!!!)

demo:

TOUCHY

SO TOUCHY (especially when he's drunk)

loves your flushed face whenever he grazes your hips (hip/thigh lover, can't tell me otherwise)... he gets absolutely drunk off your reaction

referencing back to him being a complete thigh lover, I'm not even joking, he could drown in your thighs

if y'all ever get intimate: kisses. every. where.

so he's always touching you whenever he can

demo always has a hand on your hips somehow... whether it's him absolutely plastered and holding you from behind, rubbing your waist, or any way he can get his hands on you... he's there.

but, when demo is sober, he's more lovey than passionate (lol)

he's either rubbing your back or has his hand on your thigh

if anything, it's more of a comfort to him to always be holding you somehow

heavy:

tbh, heavy grazed your hip on accident

not even joking, he passed right by you (and since the man is a literal giant) the knuckle of his hand grazed you

you let out a gasp, making the man turn to you with a raised eyebrow

he questioned why you were so flustered... he apologized right? did he hurt you?

since he's so big, he worries if he'll hurt you (especially if you're hugging or shaking hands (platonic or not))... so he's always aware of his strength

when you explain to him that you have places where you’re particularly sensitive… he understood

engineer:

ohhh yeah, now we're getting to my favorite merc MUWHAHWAHHA

but anyway

engineer is a very polite man! southern hospitality all the way.

one time you were in a pretty deep conversation with pyro, listening closely and intently to every word they spoke

but you were also in the way of the hallway... engineer swiftly laid a hand on your back, whispering a small: "'Scuse me, honey bee..." before slipping past the two of you

FACE. HOT RED.

didn't notice it AT ALL

bro just kept on walking

he didn't think ANYYYTHING of it

he was just tryna pass by his boyfriend... nothing much right?

but engie kept on doing it! whenever he had to slip past you or silently greet you, he'd rest a hand on your lower back or graze your shoulder with his palm

...but he did notice it the dozenth time.

engineer noticed the way your eyes darting elsewhere, the flushed cheeks and your biting your lip... it was obvious you were very sensitive to his touch

and if you didn't show him you disliked it otherwise (and if you did, he'd most definitely stop doing it without your permission or desire to) he'd keep finding ways to touch you

he'd act all smooth about it too, like he didn't do anything

"What's the matter, darlin'? ... dunno what you're talkin' about."

LIKE OKAAAYYYY WE GET ITTT

but if you confronted him he'd prob smother you in kisses

he loves you so much he's gonna evaporate

medic:

y'all had a scheduled check-up

every merc does

and it was your turn in line

it was simple! check your heart, your reflexes... the gist... but you had something buggering with your back

it had ached horribly since your last battle on the field the previous day

apparently, the respawn machine bugged and didn't get rid of the bruise on your back from the enemy spy

of course, the wound was healed... just not so much the pain.

so medic checked it out!

"Ah, I see... can I see your back, junge?"

once you lifted the back of your shirt, medic gently placed two hands on the lower sides of you

asked if he could see if there was anything physically upsetting in the muscle... but when his cold hands grazed your skin, you jolted away

medic was wide-eyed and pulled his hands back before cracking into a smirk

"Cold, Liebe?"

extra tender when he checks up on you

but in other cases, he'd probably keep his hands to himself - i'd imagine he's not very physical in other scenarios

sniper:

sniper likes his space... we all know this

the guy is a loner! of course he's touch starved and touch puts him into overdrive!

but when you guys started dating, he eased more into the whole physical touch aspect of it

small things like shoulder-to-shoulder, hand-in-hand, all that goodness... but he decided to take a small leap

you two were sitting in the rec room... he was laid back in his seat with you beside and separate from his chair.

his hand snaked up your back and started to caress the back of your neck

almost immediately pulled back when you let out a small yelp

"Sorry, roo... didn't mean ta' startle ya."

feels so bad until you explain it to him

he thought he did somethin' bad or embarrassing HAHA

he's very new to this whole touch thing give him a second

but once he realizes that you're just sensitive/ticklish in those areas, he laughed it off

HE WAS SO NERVOUS BUT WAS HIT IN THE FACE WITH YOU JUST BEING TICKLISH

was so relieved

kisses the back of your neck all the time

light little kisses on your shoulder too

ugh I love him so much

and he loves you SOOO gd much like ugh :(

spy:

SMUG. BASTARD.

always finding ways to touch or caress you

sneaky little shit too

whenever you two are on the field he'll slip by you and his fingertips will graze your back to your hips

when I say the others are drunk off of your reactions?? spy is an ALC. O. HOL. IC.

drinking in your flushed cheeks, widened eyes, stiffened figure... god he fucking loves it

and he honestly loves the power he has over you

to make you feel a certain way with his touch alone (sensitivities aside) drives him CRAAZYYYY

but he understands if you don't want to be touched if you're sensitive in negative way

he respects you and your space through and through

that's no lie!

.

.

.

rorichuu!

[skinnypaleangryperson]

Things Rick canonically does with the person he's in love with:

1) Get stuck in a trance while endearingly and lovingly looking after his family and the person he loves and trailing along right after.

2) Hod back his partner's hair when they're vomiting and have drank too much, holds them after.

3) Does the most humble and romantic, authentic things like sit on the side of a bench wall engaging in small talk and each other and enjoying nature. When you remember the kind of creatures and species that he could associate himself with, this is only even more endearing. When you consider what he could accomplish as a person if you wanted to considering what he's capable of, this is even more humbling. He literally chooses to spend his time like this, despite the fact that he could literally basically be living as a narcissistic controlling God if he wanted to.

4) Bringing out his cocky jaded on the edge side despite how humble and sweet and salty he can be and engaging in witty banter and still being an insane impulsive drunk. Diane is perfect for him evidently, which isn't surprising considering the spaceship thing!

5) Ro the most over the top extravagant things like create an entire robot in the period of only a couple of hours over something as small as a little mistalk between his partner. And this one especially melted me-can you imagine the amount of time and effort and concentration even with his intelligence it took just to make his partner a simple dancing robot just to apologize after something that most people would just forget about the second that it happened?

He really does give the entire world to his partner almost to a tragic degree and that's part of the reason why how much he loves Diane and her fate is so heartbreaking-not because of the fact necessarily that she died in and of itself but because of the fact that Rick is the kind of lover that will give everything down to the core and pretty much almost instantly the second they're back in his life even after decades, the same way that he did with Birdperson. That kind of heart only exists in fairy tales-and now apparently also adult swim cartoons.

6) Reaching out across the table and a little bit awkwardly but ultimately incredibly sure in his intentions and feelings and taking the hands of his partner and pretty much instantly being upfront about how he feels. I could sense that he was nervous what just saying a lot for someone like him and he pulled it off well, but he wasn't entirely sure about himself.

7) Getting dressed up sharply and taking his partner out to dinner-literally no matter what the circumstances are in terms of his health, including death.

I always knew that Rick was an overdramatic melodramatic, overly sensitive and incapable of healing trauma queen in a lot of ways (I say this endearingly because I am as well and that's part of the reason why I'm so attached to him as a character) but this really solidified that he will go above and beyond for his partner literally no matter what occurs or what that means or requires from him. It's almost tragic, just for the fact that he wears his heart honestly and gives so much in and of itself.

[precious-little-scoundrel]

Grim Reader here ☠️ I’m wondering about Bucky and his feelings about that baby….and how it plays into his adjusting after the camps and post-war. I assume it’s going to be a painful memory for him and when he finally finds someone, he’s worried about miscarriages….like if someone as noble and good as Ida Brady can lose a baby, then someone with his checkered past and actions doesn’t deserve a child either? Idk, it just makes me think of how self-destructive he’d continue to be in his relationships post war because of the things he’s seen and had to do. And he already feels wildly out of place bc of how alone he is, but add to the fact that he thought of himself as the father and that’s brutal.

Hello my dear, I’ve missed you, *pets head*

I’ve got a rather massive one shot queued up on this very aspect, it’s not the full of it, no, but it’s a massive part of his arc in this story and the bereft feeling that peacetime brought with it. While I have a vague intention for his marriage and family to closely resemble his real one in this AU, it will be postponed, rash as he may be once he marries anyway, it’s simply not at all on the cards in 1945 for this AU, his emotional fidelity is split about three ways in this one, and there was a whole life he has planned and dedicated to himself that didn’t happen, twice over. It is going to be brutal but it’s also one of my fave parts as it explores what a heart this man has, beyond a romantic one.

Here, have a snippet, I haven’t got a title for it yet but it takes place after Jack Brady’s wedding in 1945:

There is a stubborn silence in which she can hear Bucky’s labored breaths practically repeating that he is not, in fact, weeping into her pillow mid morning on a Saturday in Victor, New York. She pats his arm -suit yourself- and pulls away to begin her day. She lights a cigarette, not having fully quit the filthy habit since camp, and grabs a pair of slacks and a shirt from the closet, needing a shower.

“You kept your baby doll.” his voice comes muffled and stuffy from the bed, she glances over and sees he has barely moved, only turned on his side to stare at the threadbare doll propped on her bookcase.

“That’s Minnie.” Ida introduces them with a grin, “Don’t sound so shocked Major, I’d have thought you’ve been in enough boudoirs to know that plenty of women keep their dolls.”

Bucky keeps staring at Minnie morosely, not laughing at her tease. “Did you keep it for your daughter?” he asks.

Sometimes John Egan reminds Ida of a callously curious child, his sympathy sometimes as wounding as his barbs. She refuses to read into it, he is hungover and he is confused by her childish relic; she keeps pace in her routine and replies with honesty, “I hadn’t thought about it.”

“Well I do.” he mutters instantly, bitterly, accusingly.

“Beg pardon?” she cautions him.

“I think about your baby all the damn time.” he turns around in the sheets then, sits himself up in her bed, eyes raw and dangerous.

The frog from Egan’s throat now takes up residence in Ida’s, she thinks she might choke on her own breath. “Why-“ panicked, her chest begins to shutter, ears ringing, hands cold. Why would he say that? “Bucky!” she'd have taken a stab in the heart over this, why would he- “Why would you say that?” she begs hoarsely, forced to sit beside him on the bed as her legs are no longer steady.

“You really don’t?” he begs in turn, looking as wretched as she feels.

“I-I-“ Ida digs her fingernails into her thigh, willing the cacophony in her head to cease, to get a grip back on the lid of that tiny coffin, “I’m not doing this. Not this morning, not when I’ve got breakfast to make for a household of people and -my brother just got married, Egan! Is this really the time to bring it up? They’re going to make jokes about you being in here! God’s sake -can’t you possess a modicum of sensitivity.”

It’s not a question. It’s an insult and he takes it on the chin. He knows that his own question -asking if she even recalls her dead child- was one of his own. That doesn’t prevent one last building tear to slip the dam and join the mess on his cheeks, because his heart is nothing if not on the opposing team.

[reanbowful]

“I hate you”

if you lash out at them during an argument

*implications of cheating, the boys are unlikable in this (after some nsfw posts come freshen up with angst🤩)

(gray, ben, donald, jake, wolf, dean)

gray yeon / yeon sieun

You and Gray’s relationship is.. a bit complicated. It’s more of a situationship than an actual relationship.

So you do couply stuff together, like get each other flowers. Study dates. You go on dates together, and stuff like that. But you guys don’t have a label.

Like he’s not stupid, he knows you have a romantic attraction towards him. But he’s just.. not sure.

He doesn’t know if this is what you really want.

What if you find someone better? What if you get bored? What if you get tired?

Gray is used to people walking out of his life, so he’s quite sensitive about making new connections.

So one day, he decides to test you. (as harsh as it is, I feel like Gray would do something like this. Like test his partner. When in doubt use science or whatever)

“I can’t go today. I have a date coming up.”

He saw your expression twist.

“A date? What do you mean ‘a date’?”

“I’m going out with someone. So we can’t go to that arcade today.”

You stood from your seat, scrunching your brow.

“If you’re joking, that’s really not funny.”

“It’s not a joke. Why are you so mad anyway?”

His response made your blood boil.

“Gray.. are you kidding me? What do you think I DID all this shit for?!”

Gray looked down, maybe he was wrong after all. Maybe you did like him for real.

“I.. I don’t know. I’m just not sure, I-”

You scoffed.

“So you decide to test me? No, honestly. Fuck you. I’m done being the only person making the damn effort in this.. whatever the fuck this is! Go enjoy you fucking date by the way. I hope you treat them real sweet.”

Gray gulped. Watching your raging figure slam the door to his face. Literally in his mind, he will be like. ‘God. What have I done?’

ben park / park humin

It happened on your birthday.

Ben and the rest of the boys had been preparing for weeks to plan out the perfect birthday surprise for you.

Imagine their shock, when you walked in. With a girl, that only Alex could identify as one of Ben’s friend back in middle school, in tears.

You point at Ben, then shove the girl in front of you.

“Repeat what you just told me.”

The girl began to cry harder.

Everyone is now dead silent. They couldn’t even dare utter a sound. Not when you look like you could split someone in half if they even dare interrupt you.

“B-ben.. I’m sorry. I-I’m so sorry, I told her- I can’t-“

Perhaps the situation couldn’t get any worse than you dragging Ben’s possible ex into your surprise party, who by the way is still crying profusely.

No. No, the situation just went from bad, to actual shit.

Ben moved to hold the girl’s wrist, contemplating on what’s the best action to do. Alex stared in shock, and you laughed in disbelief when Ben wiped the girl’s tears with his hand.

“So, it was true?”

“Y/N, I don’t know what you’re talking about. But it’s not cool that you’re hurting my friends.”

Drops of tears fell from your eyes as you could do nothing but chuckle bitterly.

“Ah.. you don’t know, huh? You two made out on our bed, remember? All the while I was working my ass off on that shitty internship JUST TO SURPRISE YOU ON YOUR SHITTY ASS BIRTHDAY!!”

Everyone in the room felt their heart drop at your words. Their heart aching with you. Eugene was the first to speak.

“N-no way.. You wouldn’t, would you, Big Ben..?”

His eyes widened when Ben didn’t reply, the clench of his jaw was clear enough for an answer.

“You’re lying.. how could you- to y/n..”

Before he could finish his words, Alex marched and sent his fist flying over to Ben’s jaw. Honestly, he would be so disappointed.

Everyone would be.

Not only did he break your heart, but he would also break their trust.

(later that night, Alex would come and approach you with a small cupcake and a single candle to still celebrate your birthday anyway. Despite everything that happened that day, he still wants you to at least have a nice memory about your birthday to remember it by)

donald na / na baekjin

“So, that’s the whole story. I’m not asking for your permission. I’m just letting you know.”

You two were sitting in his living room. Donald called you over for something and it sounded important so you rushed over immediately.

For a second there, you thought he was going to break up with you.

But after hearing what he just told you, perhaps him breaking up with you would be tremendously better than whatever this is.

You sat there in silent. Trying to process what he just said.

“So you’re saying that, you.. you’re welcoming another girl. Into our relationship?”

“Yes, technically. It’s just for financial purposes though, you will still have all of my heart.”

Your eyes began to water in disbelief. You feel yourself struggling to breathe as a strong desire to scream fell onto you.

“What the fuck.. What the fuck, Donald?! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU FUCKING DID?!!”

Donald sighed, hands brushing through his hair.

“I can’t just avoid my responsibilities, y/n. I’m not going to end up like him.”

Your tears free fall down your face when he said those words. The trust you build this whole relationship crumbled in an instant.

“You disgust me..!”

Donald couldn’t stop you as you ran to leave his apartment.

He stared at the spot you were seated on before you left. That’s right, you left. Because of him.

He laughed bitterly, perhaps losing you was all his bad karma piled up into one for not being a good person.

jake ji / ji hakho

You and Jake sat across each other at the dinner table.

You’re trembling in anger as you try to regulate your breathing. While Jake drops his head in guilt and shame.

“What was that?”

He shakes his head, biting his lips as the tears threaten to return.

Had enough, you slammed the table before you.

“NO? YOU DIDN’T THINK I WOULD FIND OUT SOONER OR LATER?! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!”

Jake looked up at you, eyes red and swollen from crying the entire night. You’ve never raised your voice at him. Never.

“I fucking hate you.”

He looks at you, hurt in his eyes. In a normal occurrence, you would go over to his side and pull him into your arms. But right now you could only look at him in disdain.

“Don’t say that.. I love you-“

“You can’t say you love me after doing that last night. Just-“

You bit your tongue, feeling the anger returning.

“You were perfect before last night, Jake. I hope you don’t break the next one like you did me.”

“Y/N..”

He stood from his seat to try and stop you from leaving. But it’s all done. You left. And it was all his fault.

dean kwon / kwon hyukjin

You sat in a daze, staring at your phone. You heard Dean mumbling something, but you couldn’t care enough to listen.

“How long has it been?”

You heard him sigh, trying to reach for your hands.

“Look, I can explain-“

“How long has it been?”

You looked up at him, a hard expression on your face. Dean looked at you with slightly watery eyes, shaking his head in defeat.

“I don’t.. I’m sorry.”

“You’re.. sorry? What was it—that you don’t count? That you don’t remember? Tell me, Dean. Is it that easy for you to apologise after you made a FUCKING FOOL out of me?!”

Dean couldn’t dare to look at you afterwards. His gaze affixed to the tabletop.

He could hear your breathing became increasingly more ragged, trying to contain your anger.

Dean braced himself for you to shout at him again. Or maybe even hit him. He would deserve it. A whole lot more than a hit, actually.

Instead, all you did was took the necklace he gave you on your anniversary off. And the spare key to his apartment out, placed upon the table.

“If it was my heart, Dean, I could let it go more easily. But you broke so much more than that.”

Dean is not one to regret much of the decisions that he makes in life. But the image of losing you will probably stay burned forever in the back of his mind.

wolf keum / keum seongje

Wolf noticed it again today. Every time you guys caught eyes of each other in the corridors, you would look away from him instantly.

You have been avoiding him.

What’s insufferable about Wolf is that; he doesn’t realise what he did was wrong. Or if he has an idea of it, he doesn’t think of it as a big deal.

So when he called you out from your class, you could already feel the blood rushing to your brain.

“You have been avoiding me.”

You pursed your lips, refusing to look at him.

“What did I do wrong? Are we not going to talk anymore?”

You know that moment when you’re so frustrated that you want to start crying? That’s how it feels at that moment.

“So you think sleeping with another person on our bed is normal?”

“Is it about that girl from last time? Noona, I told you nothing happened.”

“It’s not about how ‘nothing happened’, Wolf! How would you feel if you come home to another guy holding me in our sleep?!”

Wolf felt himself tense at the thought.

“I wouldn’t like that.”

Then he caught your incredulous expression.

“You’re angry.”

“Oh my god.. Of course I am! YOU DESENSITISED MORON!”

A few kids from your class has come out to check on the commotion in the hallway. Normally you would be the reasonable one and just back away from conflicts, but this has happened times too much.

“Sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. Look, Wolf. Maybe.. we’re just not right for each other.”

“Noona..”

“Don’t. Please.. go back to class, Wolf.”

A mixture of emotions ran through Wolf’s body. He felt hurt, shocked, confused. But just mostly empty.

You were a part of him. An exception in his life that he cherish more than anything.

He will blame himself heavily on how things end up and try to better himself. Like he will actually try.

If you notice, he could only hope that you will take him back.

[historia-vitae-magistras]

"Did I pre-empt a surprise visit? Matt smiled, kissing him, full of promise. He was still cold, and Jan could only let it happen, full of sadness. Jan was silent for a moment. "Tokyo, actually."

Oh boy. I know you said it was the breakup but good lord this was so much more awkward and painful than I was expecting. Poor fucking Matt. Also, the "full of promise"/"full of sadness" line was so amazing both stylistically and as a gut punch!

Matt looked at his hands and swallowed. "Jan, If I asked you to stay, would you?" "Is there a reason I should?" Jan raised a brow.

... Jan. You cannot possibly be expecting this to end well after you said that. What the hell. And I know this is partially Matt's fault for never opening up/asking for things, but this is why he doesn't!!!!

"I tried in December. You were in Japan." Matt smiled wanly, and Jan wasn't sure he'd ever seen him look so hollow. "I tried. I tried talking to you. But you don't return my calls, and that time you were unreachable and in Japan, and now you're on your way there again."

I could feel Matt's pain so much throughout the argument. Jan's been spending so much time with Kiku and talking about how he won't have time for Matt till May... he's not wrong about the way nations work but god it hurts so much for poor Matt.

Also, forgot to grab it before I started this ask but the "compartments" line and the argument about putting Matt in a box till he wants him again... great job triggering the daddy issues, Jan. He and Arthur should hang out more, they could bond over destroying Matt's mental health by having zero tact and sensitivity.

"Who the fuck said I was? I just said you were free to do as you liked, didn't I?" Matt smiled again, bitter and fragile like shards of porcelain. "Enjoy your time, Jan." "…. Will I see you in May?" "I don't think so."

Matt, "You can do what you want" is in fact a jealous wife line. I will side with Jan on this one point.

I know you said it was the breakup fic but "I don't think so" still broke my heart. I just want the boy to be happy!!!

Romantic stuff (and people getting really upset about it) generally doesn't "click" for me, but this time it did and it hurt SO BAD. You're so good at expressing the human experience so that it makes sense for people who absolutely cannot relate. Thank you but also how could you do this to me???????

your comments hit like the deepest intentions I have when writing and I legitimately tear up reading them thank you thnak you thank you

[hawthornsword]

Today on Bad Batch! (2x12):

Crosshair:

Audience:

I guess it's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, because I was honestly prepared to completely dislike Crosshair and settle in to him being a villain, but then we have seen so little of him that I was getting antsy like, "Where is he?! What's he doing?! What's he thinking?! I need to know!" And then I squealed with delight when the episode started with him.

Nolan: exists

Me: Can we kill him?

Yay new named clone boys!!! (They are just resting safely. They are perfectly fine.) Mayday has a fuckin presence, no? (*swoons a little*) Maybe just a personal preference, but I am digging all the bearded boys. Yes. Good.

"no point carrying dead weight."

"remind me not to die on your watch."

*Crosshair realizing maybe this is why people don't like him and that maybe his batch were a lot more tolerant of his behavior than most and maybe he took that for granted, and he is desperately lonely and seeking connection and has finally realized that he is the one pushing everyone away. 😭😭😭

Oh hey, the huddling for warmth trope, that's usually used for like, romantic confession- Oh, my god I'm dying, my heart. The absolute tenderness. This may be the best huddling for warmth scene I've ever seen. Good job animators! I'm just -

Mayday protected Crosshair and treated him as a brother even though Crosshair was prickly, just like Cody did, and he's finally got it through his thick head that he doesn't belong with the empire, he belongs to the empire - he's just equipment to them - and that belonging with his brothers who actually care about him is worth so much more than than any false sense of grand purpose the empire might temporarily give him. Personal connection will always trump ideaogical bullshit.

And I suspect the thing about Crosshair is that once he commits to something, he's committed. That's it. Now that he knows the truth in his heart, nothing will stop him from acting on it. So he doesn't go subtle, like Cody slipping out in the night. He goes out guns blazing, killing that worthless empire motherfucker, because that's The Bad "when have we ever cared about orders? Batch Way.

That was so satisfying.

I am also glad we are going to pretty much immediately get back to whatever the heck is going on at Mount Tantis. Hemlock is creepy af, I love it. I really want to know what they plan to do to Crosshair tho???? They don't need him to make more clones, they're phasing them out, so what, clones are just convenient for shits-and-giggles experimentation? Like, they've got cloning down. And yeah, we know from Mandalorian/sequels Palps is trying to do Force sensitive cloning, but they don't need Crosshair for that, unless they've already got force sensitive dna and they're gonna shoot it into him to see what happens??? I somehow doubt that they'd risk a force sensitive supersoldier though, so I bet it's something else.

Predictions/wishlist for the rest of the season: I'm guessing Omega will get captured soon and then Crosshair will be like, "okay, let's bust out of this joint baby sis!" And Taun We will probably get killed helping them escape, then the Batch and Rex and Echo and Gregor will arrive, and I hope Omega (and Wrecker and Tech) will be like, "We can't leave the Zillow Beast! It's just a baby! The last of it's kind! Treated awfully just like us! (Big tooka eyes)" and Hunter will be like, "okay fine, we can rescue the beast." And Crosshair and Echo and Rex especially will be like, "wtf, force preserve us Hunter, you can't be serious right now - she makes big tooka eyes once and you do whatever she wants?!?!?! (Because Rex and Echo have experience denying Ahsoka's cuteness, so they have learned already that no good comes from indulging the chaos babies.) And then Omega and Crosshair befriend and get to ride the Zillow beast while it squashes all the imps as it escapes and then they find a nice uninhabited planet to drop it off, and the Batch is reunited and we get a happy ending of the season (and after credits hemlock escapes to be creepy again later, obv).

Meanwhile,

I still need to know where Cody is. Please.

[devilsskettle]

i've been feeling so alone lately which is stupid because i'm surrounded by people basically every day but i'm starting to feel like nobody wants to be with me enough, nobody is ever going to love me the way that i need them to, nobody wants to look at me or touch me or hear me like there's this wall between me and everybody else and that's probably my fault but who is going to care enough to want to climb over it, if only to take a peek at what's on the other side? i never had strong feelings about romantic relationships before, like if it was something that happened naturally that was great, but i never wished i wasn't single when i was single until recently, and it's not even that i wish i wasn't single now, but i don't understand why that wall seems so uncrossable to other people! i guess i always just thought that there were people out there for me and they would find me but i think i was wrong. or i was right but circumstances make being with those people enough unfeasible. or the people i like don't like me and the people who like me are people i don't care for. but also. i hate being vulnerable lol and i love being independent and i need time alone. i find acknowledging when i want something to be embarrassing and i often find other people's expressions of emotion distasteful. my instinct is to lash out when met with sensitivity. i just don't actually like a lot of people. plus my life isn't together enough yet, one look at my living space would tell you that much. i would not be a good romantic partner to anyone right now and that's probably not even what i really want, i just want an abstraction of the feelings that being in a romantic relationship is supposed to provide. and i think i'm frustrated in other ways, like i feel like people keep bailing on me or i'm on edge around them or i feel like i need to put on an acceptable personality around them which is not very easy to maintain. if i could just have one person..... lol it's also like i was never supposed to feel alone ever, i'm a twin! our brains are supposed to be in sync or whatever. and i love my sister but the wall is still there. and of course there's the physical distance of living in different states. and honestly distance does make the heart grow fonder at least in her case, she seems to like me a lot more when she sees less of me. but anyway. it's pointless to expect anyone to do anything for me, because what did i ever do for them? this feeling comes from a deeply self interested place. i'm no martyr and i want no transaction of emotional sacrifice for love. i want no obligations! but relationships are just a tangled web of obligation and desire. it's so easy for resentments to fester when you feel ensnared but still don't get what you want. i never want to experience that again. it's unfair to everyone involved. anyway. jesus christ. hopefully i will get my period soon and this whole thing is just fueled by pms and i will get over it quickly oh my god september is basically over and what do i have to show for it? who's gonna go to the pumpkin patch with me? who's gonna let me borrow their gloves when my hands get cold? sigh. i have a headache :(

[studiojeon]

bitterness in goodbye | jjk

this is part of my troubled outsiders series. sadly, you can't read this as a stand alone (meaning: feel free to check the previous parts ♡)

| summary | - You can’t help but feel a little sad when Jungkook doesn’t refrain from cuddling your arm after pleading to forgive him. You wish you could cuddle him instead, that he would lay his head on your chest as you play with his soft hair, but you recognize there are some things you just can’t have.

warnings: none (?) i mean chaeryeong insults jungkook which is an atrocity in itself but-

contents: we diving into the angst my friends. jungkook is an innocent, kind hearted soul, i promise. oc's got the feels (out oct. 1) for jk. idol!jungkook × student!reader.

author's note: I EDITTED THIS FROM MY PHONE DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING ANNOYING THAT IS? also, thank u for the amount of support i've been receiving lately, i appreciate everyone lots. feel free to ask away or suggest anything btw, i would love to write for any prompts you guys come up with. 💞💗💖💘💓💕

words: 1.57k

playlist: honey by halsey

Four weeks later, the receptionist of your apartment complex hands you over a cardboard box with the hoodie Jungkook and you had talked about that day on the Han River. Jungkook kept pestering you to please please please send him your address for confidential purposes, which you knew had to do with his determination to literally provide anything that catches your eye right away. You assumed it was a sensitive topic for the boy whether people had purposefully taken advantage of his money before, so you didn’t dare to say anything when the man asked you for your size literally two hours after he dropped you off, scared to either reject his solidare intentions or piss him off for bringing unwanted memories back. In  your defense, your personality type keeps oscillating between INFP and INFJ so it’s only natural that you take extra care to make sure those around you have as much peace of mind as possible in your presence. 

As pretty and comfortable the piece of soft clothing is, an important factor is missing, something that you can’t recreate buying two of the same size and color, and that is Jungkook's escence and how good it looks on him in comparison to anyone else in the world. Meaning, you didn’t like it as much as you thought initially would. And it absolutely did not have to do with the fact that your short stature made you look like a toddler who stole their dad’s jacket.

Still, in order to show Jungkook how much you appreciate his gift, you bring it to work the next day, and the rest of the days after that, with the excuse that with winter rolling around you needed something to keep you warm in the office. Jungkook doesn’t miss the opportunity to confirm your assumptions regarding your appearance whenever he barges into your office randomly throughout the week, arguing that ”you look so adorable” and doesn’t stop for two weeks more, until he gets used to seeing you wearing something you shared with him. Which doesn’t help ease your growing romantic feelings for him whatsoever.

Because yeah, you liked Jeon Jungkook, just like every human being with eyes and sexual desires, except, you didn’t just like him in a superficial way, and that’s where the problem with him resides. Though you are sure everyone has fallen in love with the endearing boy at some point - especially the excluded and invalidated women of society - you can’t help but place some blame on you for allowing yourself to be swooned so goddamn easily. Your mom had said to you at some point to be wary of the way some men would talk to you when you grew up, their intention usually being getting inside your pants, which has happened to you more times than you'd like to admit. And with the argument that she knew you better than anyone, she claimed you would comply right the second someone talked sweet to you; you despised the fact that was the case with Jungkook (and Jungkook only), although he had never shown any sexual innuendos. What your feelings could do to your relationship with Jungkook and your rather chill lifestyle scared you to death, shiver me timbers and all that shit, having romantic feelings for someone else is embarrassing, especially when your chance with them has been scratched out the second you laid eyes on them.

Jungkook sits on your couch, legs spread on your thighs as you two pretend to watch some series on netflix. “I don’t buy for a second the act you’re putting on right now.” he speaks randomly after staring at your deep-in-thought state for a few minutes and laughs when you snap at him for not letting you overthink in peace. “What’s going on?”

Truth is, you don’t fucking know. A few hours before he arrived at your place (you had to pick him up at the dorm and sneak the both of you through the subterranean parking lot, because god forbid someone saw Jungkook arriving at some chick’s dorm on a saturday afternoon) you swore you would be able to conceal whatever emotional turmoil you had going inside of you without compromising your regular behaviour around the man, but when push comes to shove, it’s impossible to keep yourself from wondering how far you could go before that special someone found out what was going on inside of your head.

Jungkook’s phone rings in his pocket with some annoying tone he had downloaded illegally from youtube the same day the company had handed over the device as a gift for him (you still were a little bitter over how they neglected the rest of the staff but you also knew it was kind of impossible for the human kind to just gift a-thousand-dollar-phones to almost five hundred people out of solidarity). “Hyung?” he picks up, still wary of your unusual behaviour, concerned eyes looking at you. “No, uh- i’m with Yugyeom right now.” and your heart shatters into a million pieces.

You have been suspecting for a while that Jungkook is being hesitant to introduce you to his social circle. Although, you’ve tried your best not to take it personal, it is getting harder to resist the urge to ask him what the fuck is up with that. The fact that Jungkook had to lie about the person he was hanging out with broke your ego; he could’ve just said he was with a friend, right? You suddenly feel like you’re fifteen again, when the guy you liked would love you in the dark but pretend he didn’t know you in the light. 

Holding your tears back, you gently push him off and make your way towards the bathroom in the most nonchalant way you could. This is your fault for falling for the nice popular guy in the first place, you remind the reflection staring back at you. Still, as bad as it hurt, there was no way you were going to cry over a stupid boy, let alone when he was literally sat on the next room. He can go fuck himself if he thinks he can just toss this behind as if nothing ever happened.

You text Chaeryeong instead.

“chaery bom bom: i swear to god i gonna throw hands the next time i see the bitch.

chaery bom bom: like who the hell does he think he is? fucking squidward looking asshole.

chaery bom bom: he ain’t even that cute bub, you’ll get over him. i know jinyoung wouldn’t treat you like this”

You sigh. Chaeryeong has been enamored with the idea of you and his former company colleague from GOT7 since the day she met the guy (which was somewhere around ten years ago), and although he was all that, you didn’t like his quiet and cold aura, it intimidated the fuck out of you (Jungkook was the entire opposite of that).

You spray on some perfume just to have an excuse as to why you randomly ran to the bathroom when Jungkook’s inquiring eyes stare as you sit back on the couch, which is exactly what he does. “You done with your call?” you ask, bitter.

Jungkook frowns, a bit taken aback by the sudden question but still unaware of the way his words had made you feel, not even sensing the hostile change in your mood. “Yes, it was one of our managers. He was wondering if I could come back to reshoot some...-thing.”

Okay, now you kind of understand as to why he lied in the first place and to say you feel guilty is an understatement. “I supposed he backed down once you mentioned you were hanging out with Yugyeom.” playfulness makes its appearance on your tone and Jungkook rolls his eyes at you, tongue poking on the inside of his slightly red cheeks.

“Sorry for that” he moves closer and cuddles your arm, like a sad guilty puppy. “It’s just- I don’t want them asking questions''.

You understand. He is a very reserved and private person after all. It took you a bit to crack him open yourself. Plus, you kind of share that trait with him, you’d hate it too if people were constantly on your nerves for the people you decide to hang out with. 

And that’s all it takes to forgive him. Not very cash money of you.

“You better not pull that shit again, though” you shift in his hold and he looks up at you. One look into your eyes and he knows what you mean. “I’ll kick you out.”

After nodding, Jungkook resumes his concentration on the series you picked out for him. Due to your short attention span, you are very picky about what you invest your time in, especifically with audiovisual pieces of media, so Jungkook trusts you whenever you recommend something on very rare occasions. As a matter of fact, Jungkook was busy attacking your kitchen counters for snacks (which you didn’t have) when you mentioned Money Heist. “Munch on some grapes instead” you suggested to soothe his disappointment.

You can’t help but feel a little sad when Jungkook doesn’t refrain from cuddling your arm after pleading to forgive him. You wish you could cuddle him instead, that he would lay his head on your chest as you play with his soft hair, but you recognize there are some things you just can’t have.

[tetralea]

Sorry it’s me again -

This screams lestappen to me Alpha! Max and Omega! Charles 🥰

Alpha courting the Omega, but not doing it in a romantic way. So they start gifting the Omega toothpaste and socks.

Hii, this is too funny and so them omg. 😁

Story time:

Max face planted on his couch with a suffering moan, on,y earring a raise of an eyebrow from Daniel. It has been going on for a few hours now, the older alpha first run to the blonde thinking he was hurt, but the matter was not so serious, at least not for him.

‘What am I supposed do?’ Max asked murmuring into the big cushions.

‘Have you thought about flowers.’ Daniel looked at him, from above his phone. ‘Or chocolate, that is a classic.’

Max groaned again, turning to his back with a flop. ‘Those are so boring. Every omega gets those, and the flowers die, and he is not allowed too much chocolate either.’ He listed his issues with the offered items. ‘I want to give him something useful, something he can use every day.’ He covered his face with his hands before sitting up suddenly. ‘I’m gonna go to the store and find something useful.’ He stated and as a man on a mission he padded to the hallway to put on his shoe before fishing his keys out of the bowl next to his door.

He heard Daniel wishing him good luck before he shut the door.

This was half an hour ago and now he was standing in front of his chosen omega’s door, with multiple packs of socks and toothpaste, at least three different kind. He was so stupid p, why did he buy these? He asked himself while contemplating his options to give them to Charles face to face or just leave it at the door, ring the bell and run. Not were much of an alpha behaviour, but courting was not his strong suit. Protecting others, yes, providing omegas in his family with supplies to their nest also yes, comforting them and cuddling close when they needed it, also a yes, but wowing the omega his heart choose, no, absolutely not.

He was standing there balancing from one feet to the other for minutes now. The neighbours must think he is a creep. Oh, for god’s sake, it would be so much easier if it wasn’t Charles. He was positively nervous, and just thought the sensitive nose of the omega in the apartment won’t pick it up. He exhaled one last time, before pressing the doorbell, closing his eyes, until he heard a gentle click, an obvious sign of someone opening the door. He is an alpha he should be able to do this right? Sure the rest of his personality was completely note suitable for it, but oh well, Charles already opened the door, and now he was staring at him with curious eyes.

‘Um, Max, hi.’ Charles tried to open the conversation, since Max seemed to be frozen in place. ‘Is everything alright?’ He asked, his brows knitting together, as he carefully examines the alpha in front of him. He was very nervous Charles could smell it on him.

‘Hi, um, yeah, so, this is yours.’ He said and showed the small red bag forward, surprising Charles a lot. Now it was his turn to freeze a little, before he started to giggle and a slight blush crept on his cheeks. He peaked into the bag. ‘I thought I’d give you something you can actually use.’ He felt the need he had to explain himself, making Charles laugh a bit more, his dimples becoming visible, his adorable smile taking over his features. Max’s heart was fluttering, the butterflies in his stomach going crazy.

‘It is very thoughtful, Max, thank you.’ He looked up finally still surprised but positively happy, his green eyes sparkling, his scent changing to be even sweeter, vanilla and macadamia mix, very happy.

‘I hope you will like them, I pick a few types.’ Max was still a bit nervous, scratching the back of his head, his gaze going from the pack to Charles and back. Charles felt the urge to brush against him, to calm his nerves a little, but a sudden, soft sound caught them off guard. Charles started to purr. Both of them looked up, Charles blushing heavily, Max grinning uncontrollably.

The brunette smiling bashfully, not really being able to control the gentle purr around Max in that moment. ‘I’m sure they will be great, I mean I have feet and also brush my teeth every day, so these will be great.’ He confirmed, and stepped a bit closer, his hands suggestively reaching out, Max mirroring his movements, brushing their fingers together.

‘Um, I can bring some more if you run out.’ Max reassures him with a small laugh. ‘But, um, until then maybe I can think of something else. Also, maybe we could meet a bit.’ He suggests, the tips of his fingers still touching Charles’.

The brunette’s ears perking up, his smile going even wider. ‘Yes, sure. I mean I need to tell the pack-‘ he nods towards his door, ‘-but I’m sure they will suspect something when I go back anyway.’ He curls his fingers a bit, signalling, that Max most probably unconsciously scented him already.

‘I didn’t mean to-.’ He started to apologise, but got cut off when Charles stepped even closer brushing his face and neck against his a little.

‘I have to go back, but than you for the presents, and call me later.’ He starts purring again, his scent now intoxicatingly sweet, and Max has to keep himself from pulling him into a tight hug.

They let each other go and Charles disappears behind his door, still purring, his poor heart racing in happiness.

‘So?’ Sebastian the leader of their pack pokes his head out of the living room grinning wildly.

‘I got some socks.’ Charles pulls them out for the Ferrari red bag, lifting them in the air, showing off. ‘Also some toothpaste.’ He laughs alongside with Seb.

‘Wow, very unique, courting presents, from Max.’ The older one ads with a knowing smile. Charles’ mouth hangs open, and Sebastian answers to the unspoken question. ‘You are covered in his scent. Maybe it wasn’t intentional, but you do.’ He is grinning, his heart swelling with pride, to see his adopted omega pup so happy. Charles’ scent filled the hallway, it was impossible not to know how he felt.

Charles shook his head and with an apologetic smile he disappeared in the kitchen, to find some scissors and open the packagings.

‘They are very nice and soft, I love them.’ He taps it out on his phone after snapping a picture sending it to Max, his alpha, or at least he hopes he will be one day.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Curse-breaker (Chapter 4/4)

- ao3 -

“You know him, right?” Jiang Cheng asked Lan Xichen. He was trying not to appear as nervous as he felt in asking, but he was pretty sure he was failing. “Nie-gongzi?”

Lan Xichen smiled. “I do. And thank you for calling him that, he prefers it.”

There were those that had started calling him Curse-breaker, as if it were a proper title; Jiang Cheng had heard it said a few times, and while he didn’t personally disagree with the moniker, which seemed appropriate, he also knew better than to just drop it into a conversation.

Luckily. He was trying to make a good impression here.

“What’s he like?” Jiang Cheng blurted out, then immediately wanted to kick himself. “I mean – it’s just – I didn’t see him much when he visited the Lotus Pier –”

He was making it worse.

It was only that he’d never quite met anyone with so much presence as Nie Mingjue: taller even than Jiang Cheng’s father, with that strange eye that seemed to see everything and anything. His features were generally set in a neutral expression that made him seem almost unworldly, like some god untouched by human concerns, but which sometimes softened a little when he approved of something – or someone.

Jiang Cheng could feel his cheeks going red, and tried to suppress it.

“Mingjue-xiong liked you,” Lan Xichen said, and Jiang Cheng lost the battle at once, his whole face heating up until it felt unbearably hot. This was worse than the time that Nie Mingjue had come to the Lotus Pier and told his parents to value Jiang Cheng more or else, and then his father had come in with a smirk and a snarl and somehow made them do it. “He said so.”

“He did?”

“Oh, yes. He said you were talented and faithful, with a good heart, and that we’d see great things from you.”

Jiang Cheng was going to die.

“That’s nice,” he said, with an effort. “I thought very highly of him, too. He’s…great.”

Wow. ‘Great’. Was that really the best he could do?

Lan Xichen studied him for a moment, then nodded. “He really is,” he said, and sighed. “I had the same reaction, you know. He’s…a lot.”

Jiang Cheng felt seen. “I know,” he said effusively. “He’s just – you know?”

“I do,” Lan Xichen said. “Just –”

He waved his hand in the air. Not even making some sort of gesture, just a meaningless sort of wave, but for some reason Jiang Cheng understood him completely.

There really just weren’t words sometimes, when you wanted to describe things or people that inspired feelings that went beyond the merely describable. Nie Mingjue was one of those – Jiang Cheng had known that Lan Xichen would understand, and sure enough, he did.

And to think that Wei Wuxian liked Lan Wangji better!

Really, his shixiong might be more talented than Jiang Cheng in many ways, ways that were often a matter of jealousy, but Jiang Cheng clearly had better taste.

“Oh, there you are,” a voice said, and Jiang Cheng tensed and turned to look – but it was only Wen Qing, so that was fine. “Lan-gongzi, Jiang-gongzi, I was sent to spend some time with you.”

She probably meant that she was sent away so that the adults would have time to talk about issues they thought were too sensitive to involve the younger generation, or else they just wanted to start drinking earlier in the afternoon than usual and didn’t want her judging them from a medical standpoint. Either might be true – Wen Qing was widely acclaimed as one of the most talented in their generation, as terrifying with her needles as other people might be with their sword, from more or less the first moment she’d finally been allowed to join the rest of them on equal grounds.

They greeted her, trying to stand up to be polite, but she waved them down irritably and took a seat instead. “What are you two talking about?”

“Nie Mingjue,” Lan Xichen said, and Jiang Cheng nodded. “We were just commenting on his many admirable qualities.”

Jiang Cheng nodded a second time, even more emphatically.

Wen Qing looked at them both with that critical eye of hers for a long moment.

Then she sighed in a huff. “He’s really all that and more, isn’t he?” she said.

“He is,” Lan Xichen said.

“He’s just –” Jiang Cheng tried the same gesture as Lan Xichen earlier, and was gratified when Wen Qing started nodding herself in total agreement. “Right?”

“Right.”

-

Nie Mingjue was aware that many people liked to stare at them, but they had assumed it was because of how unusual they were – even putting aside the eye, which was their most obviously not-normal feature, their behavior was not always in line with regular people’s. They didn’t show their emotions on their face as easily, being more naturally inclined towards sternness, and their manner was both sharp and incisive, straightforward and blunt; they had missed critical years of social development while lost in what amounted to seclusion, too busy solidifying their sense of self, consolidating their we into an I.

(They were still trying to figure out gender, a process complicated by the fact that it hadn’t made much sense to either of them to begin with. They were starting to suspect it would be better to just give up on it entirely.)

It turned out, according to Nie Huaisang, that that was not why all those people were staring.

“When you say they like me…”

“Sexually or romantically attracted, usually both,” Nie Huaisang said. “You have a lot of would-be suitors. Lan Xichen, Jiang Cheng, Wen Qing, Wen Ning, Jiang Yanli –”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to use their names directly like that,” Nie Mingjue said, though they weren’t sure about that. They’d forgotten more etiquette than they’d ever learned. “Also, isn’t Jiang Yanli getting married to Jin Zixuan?”

“He’s another of your admirers. As is Meng Yao…no, sorry, Jin Ziyao. You know he secretly thinks that you killed Jin Guangshan for him, right?”

They’d killed Jin Guangshan because he was rotten through and through, and he didn’t even have a qi deviation or a tormenting heart demon to blame for it. He just thought of people as things, even the ones he supposedly liked, and acted accordingly…they hadn’t really thought through the consequences of killing him when they’d done it, having long ago forgotten the concept of political considerations, but it was really amazing what could be covered up or excused if multiple sect leaders put their minds to it while the rest just breathed a sigh of relief that Jin Guangshan was gone.

“That seems like too many people,” they said. “They can’t all be my…admirers.”

“You think that’s it? I haven’t even gotten to Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian – both at once, if that’s your preferred flavor – and even that feral child Jin Ziyao found in Kuizhou…you know just the other week, he loudly declared that you were better than sweets and the entire room sighed all at once in agreement?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not. There are even rumors that say that Sect Leader Wen might be interested…”

They shrugged.

Nie Huaisang squinted at them. “Da-ge. Did you know about that one?”

“Sect Leader Wen is not subtle,” they said dryly. “But if it makes you feel better, his interest is purely a matter of cultivation, and also our father has already hit him for even making the suggestion.”

Nie Huaisang didn’t look impressed. “Are you sure it’s purely a matter of cultivation? Would you be able to tell if it wasn’t?”

Nie Mingjue considered how little they’d recognized any of the other people who were purportedly interested in them. “No,” they admitted.

“Hmm. What about Teacher Lan?”

“What about Teacher Lan?” they asked, suspicious.

“Nothing, nothing. Just something I read somewhere…”

Probably one of those spring books that he was always sneaking around, they concluded.

“Though…you have been going out of your way to meet up with Teacher Lan more often recently…”

“He’s helping me figure out some of the bureaucratic intricacies of changing succession,” they said. “He’s had the most experience, having to do it twice – once to get his brother out of the line of succession, and another to get him back in. He’s a good teacher.”

He was, too. For all of Nie Huaisang’s tall tales about Lan Qiren’s strictness and overly-rigid insistence on orthodoxy, the man himself had a very calming presence, still and tranquil. It made them think of a musical instrument and, using the Nie cultivation method as a base, start to think strange thoughts…

Though not the sorts of thoughts Nie Huaisang had in mind.

“I mean, I guess. Even I learned eventually, and – wait. Why do you need to know about how to change succession? You’re already the heir.”

“That’s the problem,” Nie Mingjue said. “I need to figure out how to abdicate my position in your favor.”

Nie Huaisang gaped at him.

“No, I’m not joking,” they said, because they knew their little brother. “I’m not suited for politics. I don’t think I ever was, and after everything that happened, I’m even less suited.”

They really weren’t. Too blunt, too sharp, too concerned with justice, too inhuman – they were good at fighting, in the sense that they knew how to be a saber as well as a human and could wield sharpness in the same way, a slash from their fingers being enough to cleave a man in half, but that wasn’t what being a sect leader was about.

No, Nie Huaisang would be much better at it.

“Da-ge, you can’t do this to me!” Nie Huaisang wailed. “Do you know how much work it’d be? Anyway, you can’t – our father’s already promised all of Qinghe Nie to your future spouse! So there!”

“Then I just won’t ever get married.”

“What?!” Nie Huaisang waved his hands wildly. “You can’t do that! You – you – do you know how many hearts you’d be breaking?!”

“So you’ve informed me,” Nie Mingjue said dryly. “It’s all right, Huaisang. I rather like the life Teacher Lan has made for himself, traveling all around and coming back every few seasons to teach something. I want to fight evil, and there’s a lot more evil out there than there is in here.”

Or, at minimum, there was more evil of the sort they were allowed to just stab. That was apparently frowned upon, in politics – there was a reason they said they weren’t suited for it.

“You’re not suited for fighting evil with a blade,” they added while Nie Huaisang was still spluttering. “But you can do wonders with people, if you’re given enough time to plan it. Being sect leader will put you in the position that will let you fight evil best, in your own way.”

“Not everything is about fighting evil, da-ge!”

“Isn’t it?”

Nie Huaisang didn’t seem to have a good answer to that.

After a while, he finally said, “…you really think I’d be good at it?”

Nie Mingjue pulled their younger brother in for a hug.

“You’ll be magnificent,” they promised.

-

They liked travel, just as they’d suspected they would.

People always recognized them – the eye was very distinctive, and they were also very tall – and immediately rushed over to share all their problems. They were very happy to help. Some of them they could fix personally, generally the ones that were stabbable, while they had a wide enough set of acquaintances to deal with many of the others: those who needed healing to go to the Lan sect or Wen sect, depending on whether problem was mental or physical; those that needed advancement to the Jin sect or Jiang sect; mysteries to be solved to the newly established Wei sect over in Yiling; and anyone with anything more abstruse than that over to Nie Huaisang personally to sort of.

Their little brother liked a good puzzle.

As for Nie Mingjue’s part, they liked fighting evil, and they liked helping people, too, if they could manage it, so it all worked out quite well. The road could be a little lonely at times, all alone with no one around, but it wasn’t really that bad. They were welcome at just about every cultivation sect and most of the other places they’d passed by, so it wasn’t like they were lacking for company if they wanted it.

It was only sometimes that they wished that there was someone else who might want to share this type of life with them.

It was a difficult life, always roving and never satisfied, intent on fighting evil for an eternity and prizing the doing of it over normal things, everyday things; they knew that they couldn’t ask someone else to take on a mission so absurd as stamping out all evil in the world, and so they didn’t. Who would be so foolish as that? Not everyone could leave behind all their responsibilities and ties to the world the way they did, passing instead through their beloved one’s lives by chance like a leaf tossed in the wind – nor should they, if those ties gave them joy.

Take their current mission, for example. One of Nie Mingjue’s earlier trips had taken them from Yiling to the Baixue Temple, with the highly unorthodox Wei sect’s equally unorthodox head disciple, Xue Yang, tagging along with them so that they could – in Wei Wuxian’s words – beat some sense into his head, and it had been on that trip that they had met Song Lan, who was thoroughly charmed by the idea of a sect established on principles of brotherhood rather than blood.

He'd also been rather charmed, they thought, by Xue Yang himself, and the interest had been mutual.

(They were getting better at recognizing that sort of thing.)

So Song Lan had gone off with them, with Nie Mingjue dropping both him and Xue Yang back in Yiling, and when he’d gone back again another time they had seemed very happy. But Song Lan had been thinking about his master and martial brothers back at home, and he’d asked if Nie Mingjue would be willing to carry along some letters that he didn’t dare trust to the post.

Nie Mingjue, suspecting a request regarding marriage was involved, had readily agreed. Sure enough, once they’d dropped it off, the entire Baixue Temple had all but exploded in excitement – they’d barely managed to make it out of there in time to avoid being dragged into all the fuss.

And now they were wandering around nearby, shaking their head in amusement at all the noise they’d left behind, looking for something more interesting to do. Some evil to fight, or something like that.

They found both.

“Well, that was exhilarating,” they commended to the cultivator in white that had worked together with them to defeat a rather astounding number of evil creatures in an effort to save some rogue cultivators who’d gotten in over their heads. Nie Mingjue’s reputation was already ridiculous, and was only going to get worse, they knew, but really this was a lot even for them. They wouldn’t have been able to manage it without help.

“It was,” the cultivator said, and smiled at them. “My name is Xiao Xingchen, disciple of Baoshan Sanren. Who are you?”

“Nie Mingjue,” they said. They thought they’d heard of Baoshan Sanren before, but they weren’t entirely sure – they had a tendency to forget things that weren’t that important to them. They thought it might be something to do with Wei Wuxian’s mother –something to do with the immortal mountain, and a doom that fell on those who descended from it…?

“If you don’t mind me asking, why did those rogue cultivators call you Curse-breaker?” Xiao Xingchen asked.

They thought about it for a moment, then shrugged.

Xiao Xingchen laughed.

It was a warm sound.

“Where are you going?” Nie Mingjue asked. “I can escort you, if you like.”

“Don’t you have things of your own to be doing?”

“Not really,” Nie Mingjue said. “I want to eradicate all evil in this world, a task that’ll take me a lifetime – and evil can be found anywhere. Why not with you?”

Xiao Xingchen ducked his head. “I don’t have a destination either,” he admitted. “I came down from the mountain because I wanted to help save all the people in the world.”

Nie Mingjue blinked. That was nearly as stupidly idealistic a goal as theirs.

“Well, then,” they said, and smiled. “In that case, why don’t we go together?”

It would be nice to have company, unrestrained by any obligations tied to the mortal world, and in return they could show Xiao Xingchen everything there was to see – introduce him to all the people, eat all the food, fight all the battles. And if in the end it turned out that that doom people talked about in regards to the mountain really was a thing…

Well, they’d see about that.

After all, Nie Mingjue had a bit of experience with curses like that.

[divinerulerluvr]

Let Me Violate You

Summary - in 1985 after taking some funny coke at a recording studio, she finds herself at the Cortez and meets Mr. James Patrick March only to meet her fate, as well

Warnings - smut (duh), bondage, coercion, murder, bondage, drugs, power kink, james is a dom per ush, idk its very dark dare i say

Words - 2.7k

Inspired by the song Closer by Nine Inch Nails ;)

- - -

The world was blurry as i stumbled into a random hotel in Downtown LA. I had been recording a new song at the studio just a few minutes away and the idiots i work with gave me some fucked up coke and now here i am, barely lucid and tripping out of my mind.

Leaning against the receptionist counter for support, i look up to the woman who reads a book. She peers at me over it, a certain look of disappointment in her eyes as she sets it down. “I-I would like a room,” i ask, blinking quickly.

“Fifteen dollars for the night,” she says flatly. I give her a twenty, too high to care about change. She smiles at me before standing up and grabbing a key from the wall and handing it to me. The key had a ‘64’ chain on it.

“Room sixty-four. Sixth floor,”

I nod before stumbling to the elevator, getting to the sixth floor, and walking through the halls until i got to room 64. Unlocking the door, i push it open and walk into the large suite. Going straight to the bed, i lay back on it with an exasperated sigh.

I am too high for this.

Staring at the ceiling that looks like it was twirling and twisting, i feel eyes on me. Sitting up, my eyes glance around the room. My eyes land on a man who stands at the end of the bed, a cigarette in his hand.

I jump, trying to confirm whether he was real or not with the state i was in. “W-Who are you?” i stutter nervously, my eyes wide with fear. The man smiles, drawing at his cigarette to build some sort of anticipation.

“I should be asking who are you? This is my suite,” he says in return, his voice coated with a thick 20’s accent. He was an attractive man. His dark hair was styled perfectly and in the dark of the room i could make out his sharp jawline and piercing eyes.

“I paid for this room,” i argue, confused to who this strange man is.

He grins a predatory and evil grin that made my stomach twist. “Would you like a drink?” he offers, ignoring the previous conflict. “I’d like you to get out of my room,” i bite back. He turns his back to me, pouring something into a glass.

Turning back to face me, he extends a glass of the drink to me. “No need to be so rude, darling,” he advises, his head tilted patronizingly. He takes a slow step towards me, his eyes dead on mine. Swallowing thickly, i accept the drink.

Suspiciously, i drink from the glass. The alcohol burned down my throat and the drugs already in me didn’t help. Finding it wasn’t poisoned, i chugged the rest of it down.

He sips from his own glass, his eyes never leaving mine. “Who are you?” i ask yet again. “James March,” he replies simply. I just nod, finding that i had this strange fuzzy feeling in my mouth.

I had already finished the drink he’d offered and it was too late to go back. I had jinxed the fact that it was drugged. Because i know what being drugged feels like.

Before i could do anything, i was out like a fucking light.

-

I woke up after god knows how long. I felt rope rubbing my wrists raw and rope that kept my feet tied to the bed. Panic fills me as i look around the room frantically. It was that James guy who fucking drugged me and fuck knows what he’s going to do to me.

I breathe out quietly, trying to calm myself as i pull at the ropes that keep my arms tied apart to either post of the bedframe. I was in a starfish position, rendering me completely helpless.

“You really should never take a drink from a stranger, my sweet Y/n,” i hear James’ voice say from beside me, startling me at his sudden appearance. “Fuck off. Let me go,” i complain, glaring up at him.

He chuckles, reaching his hand down and petting my hair. I recoil from his touch, my heart beating quicker than if i was on acid. He notices my reaction to his touch, a look of anger crossing his face right before he slaps me.

Not a playful smack, either. A real smack. It stung my cheek, a groan leaving my lips. He exhales sharply, his ominously black eyes glaring at me with disgust. “I think you forget who’s the one tied up and the one who did the tying,” he says, walking away from me.

I still fight against the ropes, my wrists burning like hell. I was lucky i was still clothed. But with this man, i wasn’t sure what he wanted from me.

“Why are you doing this?” i ask him, watching as he takes off his belt. My heart jumps, my thighs instinctually trying to push together but failing due to my position. He glances up at me as he starts unbuttoning his shirt.

“You were just so beautiful, dear. I had to have you for myself,” he says with a charismatic smile. His white button-down sits loosely on his shoulders, exposing his toned chest and abs to me. “That’s fucking creepy,” i scoff, watching his every move with precision.

He shrugs. “I think it’s romantic. When i’m done, you’ll never leave the confines of this hotel again,” he counters.

“Yeah right,” i mumble to myself, moving around on the bed still trying to free myself from the bonds keeping me at his mercy. He glares at me. “You have a horrible habit of talking back,” he points out, running his hand up my bare leg and playing with the hem of my skirt.

I swallow thickly, a dull heartbeat growing between my legs as his soft touch trails further up my leg and under my skirt. His hand cold but his touch was warm. Bunching up my skirt, his eyes fall onto my black panties.

“Maybe i should do something about it, hm?”

Keeping quiet, my cheeks burn in embarrassment as his eyes rake over my bare legs. He walks away from me, retrieving something from a drawer and coming back to me with it in hand. He presents a ball gag and i feel my breathing pick up.

Placing the pink plastic ball of the gag in my mouth, James buckles the strap around my head and i could feel myself lose every last ounce of power i had.

He reaches into his back pocket, pulling out a hand knife and placing it to the waistband of my skirt. In one fluid motion, he cuts it into two pieces and tears it off of me. He does the same to the top i wore, shredding it and discarding it carelessly.

His eyes fall on my now bare chest. I never wore bras. Softly, he runs his fingers over my breasts, enjoying how my skin breaks out into goosebumps at his feather-light touch. He runs his hand down my stomach, feeling how i pant with anticipation.

Cutting off my panties, i was completely exposed to him. He sees how wet i am, a proud smirk spreading on his lips. “I’ve barely even touched your pretty body yet, doll. And yet look at this,” he taunts, running his finger through my slick folds.

I whimper, my hips bucking back at the sensation of his touching me. He uses his free hand to hold down my hips, keeping me flat on the bed. “I thought you didn’t want this,” he teases, his eyes admiring my naked body.

Unable to speak, i just furrow my brows pathetically. He smiles, enjoying how mindless i look. He rubs slow and teasing circles over my clit, his touch gentle as he stimulates me.

Weak moans leave my lips but are ultimately silenced by the gag in my mouth. My legs tremble slightly as i occasionally jolt with pleasure. He was giving me the bare minimum but it felt so fucking good.

Spit falls from the corner of my mouth, my eyes watering with the pain of him only touching me lightly. I could see the bulge in his pants and i knew i was in for quite the night. Men like him didn’t like vanilla sex. I would know. I’m in a goddamn rock band and it’s the eighties.

His hand leaves between my legs and instead uses his already wet fingers to wipe the spit that had left my mouth. His dark eyes meet mine as he returns his hand to my pussy, this time pushing his middle finger into me.

I arch my back, my head pressed into the pillow i lay on as i feel his finger curl inside of me. Not caring, he pushes a second finger into me and starts an even rhythm of finger fucking me

My whimpers sound pathetic and tears fill my eyes. I beg internally for more pleasure. But i was unable to actually ask for it which i knew was his entire point. I was wetter than i’ve ever been before. His fingers were like heaven inside of me.

His palm every once in a while grazes my clit, making my body shudder from the brief stimulation. “Look at you. How pitiful you are,” he degrades, his eyes taking in the way my eyes water and how a squirm on the bed.

“Little girls like you need to be taught a lesson,” he clicks his tongue, his fingers slowing down from their rhythm before he pulls them out. I groan at the loss, my eyes locked on his. “They need to be put to good use, for once,”

I watch with doe eyes as he throws off his shirt and takes off his pants. He gets on top of me, staring at me like i was prey and he was a starving predator. “You look positively beautiful tied to my bed," he compliments, caressing my hot cheek.

“To be fair, it is also very beautiful to watch you squirm with pleasure, my pet,” he says with a grin, repositioning so he was kneeling between my legs. He runs his hand up my stomach, reaching my breasts and massaging them. Giving special attention to my sensitive nipples.

His clothed boner rubs against my sensitive pussy, making me want him even more. My hands pull against their restraints, causing the red marks on my wrist to hurt more. He sees this, noticing how raw my skin was. “You know better than that,” he tsks, trailing his hand down my body and running it along my leg.

I didn’t know how to convey to him that i wanted him to absolutely destroy me, so instead, i just push myself against him, grinding my hips against his clothed dick.

He smirks, pushing my hips flat against the bed to stop me. “Patience, my pet,” he warns, feeling every inch of my naked body with a tender and almost caring touch. My eyes fall shut in irritation, trying to just enjoy his teasing touches that continue to lead me on.

His hand runs up my thigh, following the curve of my body and stopping at my neck where he lightly wraps his hand around it. I whimper, knowing full well he could feel my pulse against his hand.

“Do you think you’ve earned the privilege of pleasure?” he questions, his eyes dark with lust. I nod rapidly, my pussy practically hurting due to the lack of stimulation. He smiles, tightening his grip on my neck so he’s squeezing the sides.

His hand leaves my neck and i watch as he pulls off his boxers. Getting excited, i let him pull me down to meet him, the ropes pulled tautly and rubbing on my ligature marks even more. The sting was damn near unbearable but the pain would soon be forgiven.

Without mercy, he pushes himself into me. I cry out, my pitiful cries muted by the gag. It hurt. Of course it did. I may have been wet, but his dick was too big to just pull that shit. My nails dig into my palms as he bottoms out in me, his tip pressed into my g-spot deliciously.

The tears in my eyes fall down my cheeks, causing black streaks to trace down my face in the trail of the tears. I pull my hips back a little, his dick hitting unmarked territory inside me. He places his hands on my hips, pulling them down even closer to him as a way to punish me.

The ropes were now extremely painful. He pulls his hips back and starts fucking me rough without warning and especially without care. The pain quickly blossomed into pleasure. His hands dig into the flesh of my hips as he holds me steady so he can use and abuse me.

His hair had fallen out of its pristine style. A curl falling in front of his face as his eyes took in my body as he destroyed it. Soft grunts and groans would leave his lips, his thrusting pace harsh and deep.

If there wasn’t a gag in my mouth, i’d be so fucking loud right now.

He uses one of his hands and slithers it up my body, dragging some of the spit on my face down my chin and neck. His eyes lock on mine, a sort of animalistic starvation in them. He felt so good that i thought i would cum right now.

I wanted to touch him. To run my hands down his back and pull his hair. But then again, i couldn’t. Because i was tied up. Powerless. I knew his game and i knew it well. But i also fucking love the game.

My walls contract around him and i can already predict his reaction. He clicks his tongue, slowing his hips just a bit as to pull me back from the edge of an orgasm. I groan, my eyes falling shut and my head laying back.

He reaches and grabs my neck, startling my eyes open. “I want you to watch me use you, darling,” he instructs. I have no choice but to obey. My eyes trail down his toned torso to where he fucks me roughly.

It was so hot. Watching him go in and out of me. My wetness coating my pussy and even his dick. How you could see how deep he was hitting inside me due to the way my stomach pushes out in sync with each snap of his hips.

My eyes water even more, making it hard to keep them open to watch the scene before me. “Be a good girl for me and listen to my instructions,” he comments, noticing how my blinks got longer with each close of my eyes.

I try my best, my eyes flicking up to meet his. His hand that was around my neck moves to my pussy, rubbing circles on my clit with his thumb. I shudder, my entire body writhing at the new sensation.

The pleasure got to the point where i couldn’t take it anymore.

I attempt to pull my hips back, my body overwhelmed with pleasure to the point where it is borderline painful. “Uh uh,” he hums, reaching his hand up and smacking my cheek hard enough to make the previous mark sting even more.

With a dull cry, i stop trying to resist and give up every last ounce of power i had left to him, letting my body go limp so he could have his way with me.

He uses this to his advantage, fucking me harder than before. My breasts bounce with each merciless thrust, my eyes rolled into the back of my head as the mix between his touch on my clit and how he fucks me brings me to an orgasm.

Surprisingly, he lets me have my orgasm. My ears ring and i can feel every single drop of blood that runs through my veins. All my senses were heightened as he fucks me through my orgasm. With my eyes closed, i feel a sharp pain in my chest.

I open my eyes to see he had stabbed me, a proud look on his face. I begin to bleed as he removes the knife from my chest. “Now you’ll be with me forever. Like i said,” he comments as i feel his cum fill me up.

He collapses on top of me, my blood coating his pale skin as i take my last breath.

And i was dead.

[toiletwipes]

heyyyyy,,,

ive been going through my old bo burnham phase again and the song high school party by him happened to hit me straight in the face with high school au simpbur x popular girl y/n

(and yes, this is an 18-year-old simpbur and reader we're talking about here. the song even specifies that it's senior year)

so, in my infinite wisdom,,, i figured i would show you some lyrics that i think could be some sort of foundation or even just assistance to a little blurb about the nervous simpbur and his popular crush who he hooks up with at a high school party

(also, id recommend listening to the song, there are so many well-crafted lines in there like all of his stuff. however, please keep in mind that a lot of his older stuff did have shock humour elements tied in, as he addressed in the song problematic last year)

with that being over, let's get into it!

Boys and girls are all sippin' on beer

just,,, simpbur being a bit overwhelmed by all of the cool people at this party. after all, he'd usually just be hanging around at home, writing songs/poems/diary entries about you.

I like soda, where's the soda? Am I the only fucking person here that likes soda?

yet again, a fish out of water. he just came because he thought it'd be a nice little hangout with a large group of friends. how wrong was he to think that.

I see her from across the crowd

(I said the party is bumpin' and the music is loud)

You're really drunk and you're lookin' sad... (there's another line here, but it could be uncomfortable for some and doesn't really add to my idea)

he sees his dear y/n at the party! truly a miracle! everything's upbeat, and he's all glad,,, until he sees just how down she looks.

Girl, then we start to dance and

Girl, baby this is romance

he awkwardly introduces himself to her (maybe after some guy accidentally shoves him in her direction), and she finds him adorable. ("oh, you're that one kid from my english class! didn't expect to see you here, will!") she pulls him into a light-hearted dance, which he sees as quite literally heaven. being the hopeless romantic he is, he can't help but admire the way that her eyes sparkle as they meet his, or the way that her face is adorned in such a childishly excited smile that it just makes him feel right at home. either way, he's glad to have made her happy.

Girl, I'm startin' to grow down below

Shit, why did I wear sweat pants?

he should have seen this coming. after all, he's in such proximity to his love. he can smell her shampoo if he tilts his head up!

I'm gonna love you, baby the right way

nothing much to add here other than 'of course hes saying that only he will love her the right way. that only he deserves her attention. that only he deserves to make her laugh like this.

We go into the bedroom exchanging nervous laughter

pretty self explanatory, i feel. he got her to sleep with him

Why's it called dry humping, if I always need a towel after?

maybe they try dry humping, but he comes just from the sheer knowledge that this is HER he's dry humping? but otherwise, i feel this just represents how sensitive he is to touch, especially since it is the touch of the girl he admires more than anything.

Even though you're yellin' for me, I can tell your lips are sealed (I've been around the block)

she may be eager to do it now, but he's certain she will be shameful of it tomorrow. and while yes, that is partially true, the only reason she will be ashamed is because of her own actions, not his. so he has it all somewhat wrong

We're both aware of my erection, you ask if I have protection

god, just painfully obvious to the point where she point it out?? especially after what I assume to be an orgasm?? mmmmm

I say:

"Well no, I tried to buy them once, I was in the convenience store

My old babysitter walked in and I had to hide them near the Tic-Tac's

I was so embarrassed, I peed myself a little bit"

now THIS. this is what i truly mean when i say that this song radiates the nervous energy that you'd find in this certain simp. and, though many would be ashamed to admit this, he's willing to drop his dignity at a word from her. obviously

I know your body and I know how to please you

Don't thank me, thank Wikipedia

first of all, he has most definitely watched her change at some point. he's spent countless hours admiring her body (clothed or not), and even more imagining his way around each nook and cranny of it. he's written countless stories of his own, in which he gives her exactly what she's asking for here. and obviously, he does a lot of research. whether it be by genuinely searching some technique up or by discovering it via some new adult video he's watching

Guys don't go down, well I am-

What the fuck is that? I should have brought my diagram

ooh boy,,,

now, of course he's eager to pleasure her, and if that means eating her out then that means eating her out. the problem is that he kinda,,, doesn't know how

None of that happened 'cause I wasn't invited..

i can interpret this two ways,,,

none of this happened (as the lyric says) and this is all some fantasy simpbur made up in his head. maybe to assist his masturbation, or maybe to write about in his journal.

this actually DID happen, except he was never actually invited to the party. he just snuck in because he knew she'd be there. besides, he's a complete wallflower, so he knew not many people would even notice him

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

quite literally every line that I missed. they're all full of well-done puns and just generally clever lines. but do keep in mine my point about his shock humour

ohohoho

>:]]

---

bodies pressed up against bodies, in the worst way possible, will's thoughts soured. when he thought of a high school party, he didn't think it'd be exactly as he pictured it. wasted people scattered across the property, and if he had to be honest, he couldn't remember who he even thought was the owner. maybe it was the jock who always bragged about being your first boyfriend, which you always had shoved him for, oh you.

you.

the main reason he showed up at all. you. he'd heard that you'd be at this specific party, for what reason, the grapevine hadn't said, but you'd be there.

sipping from the typical solo cup, he grimaces at the taste of cheap beer and wanted nothing more than to spit it out. but knowing the people here, and what they've consumed, kinda not the safest thing he could do for himself. not that he liked any of the people that show up to this kind of thing, but he liked having all of his limbs attached to his body.

though, he swallowed it down, in the end. taking another swig and holding his breath till it was down his throat. kept going until he was half-way done with the drink, that's when he saw you. oh, there you are.

standing like he was, alone and sipping from a red cup, something sullen in your expression, and it's draining to just stand here and not do something about it-

his back is shoved in a bout of shouts, and he finds himself standing in front of you, face burning in just about every shameful emotion there is and the way his stomach churns at being so close to you.

you gasp, "will!" and you pull him into a hug, finding it so easy to touch him that he just accepts the invitation graciously. the music, though, the bass pounding against the walls and echoing in the space outside, made it hard to focus and hear what you said.

"what?" he yells but you just laugh and pull at his arms, both of the cups falling out of your hands as you tug him to the dance floor. or where it was just the closest to the dj, he supposes, everyone was dancing anywhere they could.

but you. you were different. you commanded the dance floor, commanded him and the way he moved, as if you knew just how to motivate him, you press yourself into his arms and threw your head back to laugh after several minutes of hyper movement all around the two of you.

and whatever started it, be it the person who spilled a cup full of something onto his back or you noticing it happening first hand, but you're taking him upstairs, telling him you knew this place like the back of your hand.

and yet, when you pull him into a room and help him peel off the gross shirt, all the laughter seems to pause as he stares you down.

whoever out there watching this trainwreck, they better be happy.

he reaches out for you but you're the one who kisses him first, pressing yourself against him and pushing him forward to stumble his way to sit on the bed. heavy breathing shared between the two of you as you climb into his lap, and his hands lower themselves from your neck to your hips, circling around to pull you even closer and his hips jut up to meet yours. he groans into the air as you pulled away, panting as you hold onto his shoulders before rolling your hips and grinding your front onto his. he leans forward, intoxicated and excited by the way you're so close and so good to him, exactly the way he pictured it-

his mouth finds it's way to your neck, biting and nipping at the skin there, pulling your moans out as you continued to grind on him, and he feels so good, so hot here with you he can't help it the way he holds you down and imagines himself inside of you, cumming inside and making sure you knew just who you fucked. even if you might regret it in the morning. even if you never talked again.

he's breathing heavily into your sweaty skin, when you finally come down long enough to ask, "do you have any protection?" and it seems so simple, like it was so obvious that he would have one, should have one. and it's- too much for him to think about, too much to sift through and it's only a question-

"i- uh, when i was trying to buy them, my uh," his brain keeps failing him during one of the most important moments of his life and he curses it, "my old babysitter walked into the convenience store i was buying them at and i panicked before sticking them behind some tic-tacs." why he couldn't stop there is beyond him because like an idiot, his mouth kept running even after it seems like you might've bought it, "it was so embarrassing, i peed myself a little bit." you blink but you just raise an eyebrow, snorting just a little bit before leaning in to hug him a little.

"you're so weird," he hears but you're not leaving so he'll take it as a win.

"well- lay down, i got to finish, you should be able to as well," he mumbles into your ear as he shifts the two of you to the bed, laying you down, and of course you're surprised, a guy hasn't really done this for you like will is. though you should hold your breath, because once he throws your shorts and underwear to the side of the room, and he's in between your legs, he is just short of clueless.

he's done all he needed to, study your body, watch a few videos, and skim a couple of wikipedia pages but they didn't prepare him for this. and you're just staring at him from where you're laying, head rolling as you begin to wonder just how much he knows.

but you don't need to wait for long, he figures it out and begins eating you out, long, wet stripes from his tongue and finding a nub nearing the top, he is blessed with a symphony of moans, you're no longer looking at him as he licks it around in fast circles, you're gone, your head tilting back as you dig you fingers into his hair and buck your hips up.

when you come down from your high, you ask him to just lay with you, and you tell him how grateful you are for him, the way he made you feel good. even if you knew he knew not much, but he still tried and conquered.

and the praise and the thanks go right to his head. almost forgetting that he wasn't even meant to be here, or get this far. after all, he was just some guy and this was an exclusive party. and still, no one needed to know that he'd been watching you for weeks, waiting for the perfect moment, waiting for the perfect party. waiting for the drunks to get shitfaced and waited. waited so patiently for you.

and it was worth it.

because unlike most of the guys you'd hook up with, they never made you cum like that and he knew that's something he'd keep up his sleeve.

even after you realized he snuck into this party, you'd realize how perfect you were made for him. to be with him.

you'd realize you're all his.