#why even call it ‘until dawn’ when this is an entirely different concept

[245inthemorning]

beth washington did not die and get cannibalized by her own sister for the until dawn film adaptation to look this bad

[bogleech]

 I think the reason we see so much 80′s nostalgia is just because new ideas were valued so much more. New things feel special and the pop culture landscape of the 80′s was absolutely packed with ideas so new it still feels hard for me to fully appreciate, and I was there! Imagine Super Mario being so new people were calling it “INSANE!” and joking that it was “ON DRUGS” because a plumber ran around jumping on turtles. Imagine people being wowed by the idea of both supernatural elements and sci-fi technology in the same franchise: that’s what Ghostbusters normalized and that too was so unusual at one time it was “crazy!!!” to reviewers. Toys that transform between robots and cars??? UNBELIEVABLE. Kids and adults couldn’t believe that a toy could possibly have moving parts that intricate and not cost an entire paycheck.

Imagine a world where even fucking *Garfield* is new. Garfield! Not just new but seen as almost EDGY for his sarcastic personality! People weren’t used to a cartoon cat smugly insulting his owner! That’s why he made a million zillion dollars, because people thought that was the freshest most hilarious shit in Sunday strips at one time!

You know why there’s a billion takes on a zombie apocalypse now? Because, while the concept goes back to the 60′s, the broader public had never considered the doomsday horror potential of a mass zombie outbreak scenario or the “survival fantasy” aspects until 1978′s “Dawn of the Dead.” Gremlins was the first horror-comedy about nasty little creatures running amok. Films like “Child’s Play” and “Nightmare on Elm Street” were some of the first mainstream cases of a wisecracking horror villain. E.T. was the first successful fantasy science fiction drama about child protagonists befriending a benevolent paranormal entity. 1979′s “Alien” on the other hand successfully wrung tense psychological horror from the concept of a “space monster” just when most audiences were dismissing the idea as corny and juvenile. The “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” though intended as parody characters, were the first mainstream case of anthropomorphic animals marketed as “cool” action heroes instead of completely jokey characters like “Mighty Mouse.” Nobody had ever seen a dark puppet fantasy like Labyrinth before. Nobody had ever seen anything like the Cenobites before. Little Shop of Horrors was adapted to a Broadway musical in 1982 and was such a hit they got the Rick Moranis film into theaters only four years later.

The 80′s feel like the last decade with such a ratio of new, novel concepts and bold decisions that actually took off to just endless remakes, sequels and homages. Shit came out in the 80′s that invented whole subgenres, character archetypes and everyday household concepts everybody just takes as a given now. This sort of slowed down over the course of the 90′s, and then Pokemon was possibly one of the last things that was like mind-blowingly world-changingly “different” in the eyes of the most audiences. Now I have a hard time thinking of any entertainment media from over the last 22 years that made half that big a difference, and even less over the last 10. :(

[reanimatedcourier]

How to Write Indigenous Characters Without Looking like a Jackass:

Update as of December 26th, 2020: I have added a couple new sections about naming and legal terms, as well as a bit of reading on the Cherokee Princess phenomenon.

Boozhoo (hello) Fallout fandom! I'm a card-carrying Anishinaabe delivering this rough guide about writing Indigenous characters because wow, do I see a lot of shit.

Let's get something out of the way first: Fallout's portrayal of Indigenous people is racist. From a vague definition of "tribal" to the claims of them being "savage" and "uncivilized" mirror real-world stereotypes used to dehumanize us. Fallout New Vegas' narrated intro has Ron Perlman saying Mr. House "rehabilitated" tribals to create New Vegas' Three Families. You know. Rehabilitate. As if we are animals. Top it off with an erasure of Indigenous people in the American Southwest and no real tribe names, and you've got some pretty shitty representation. The absence of Native American as a race option in the GECK isn't too great, given that two Native characters are marked "Caucasian" despite being brown. Butch Deloria is a pretty well-known example of this effect. (Addendum: Indigenous people can have any mix of dominant and recessive traits, as well as present different phenotypes. What bothers me is it doesn't accommodate us or mixed people, which is another post entirely.)

As a precautionary warning: this post and the sources linked will discuss racism and genocide. There will also be discussion of multiple kinds of abuse.

Now, your best approach will be to pick a nation or tribe and research them. However, what follows will be general references.

Terms that may come up in your research include Aboriginal/Native Canadian, American Indian/Native American, Inuit, Métis, and Mestizo. The latter two refer to cultural groups created after the discovery of the so-called New World. (Addendum made September 5th, 2020: Mestizo has negative connotations and originally meant "half breed" so stick with referring to your mixed Latine and Indigenous characters as mixed Indigenous or simply by the name of their people [Maya, Nahua].)

As a note, not every mixed person is Métis or Mestizo. If you are, say, Serbian and Anishinaabe, you would be mixed, but not Métis (the big M is important here, as it refers to a specific culture). Even the most liberal definition caps off at French and British ancestry alongside Indigenous (some say Scottish and English). Mestizo works the same, since it refers to descendants of Spanish conquistadors/settlers and Indigenous people.

Trouble figuring out whose land is where? No problem, check out this map.

Drawing

Don't draw us with red skin. It's offensive and stereotypical.

Tutorial for Native Skintones

Tutorial for Mixed Native Skintones

Why Many Natives Have Long Hair (this would technically fit better under another category, but give your Native men long hair!)

If You're Including Traditional Wear, Research! It's Out There

Languages

Remember, there are a variety of languages spoken by Indigenous people today. No two tribes will speak the same language, though there are some that are close and may have loan words from each other (Cree and Anishinaabemowin come to mind). Make sure your Diné (you may know them as Navajo) character doesn't start dropping Cree words.

Here's a Site With a Map and Voice Clips

Here's an Extensive List of Amerindian Languages

Keep in mind there are some sounds that have no direct English equivalents. But while we're at it, remember a lot of us speak English, French, Spanish, or Portuguese. The languages of the countries that colonized us.

Words in Amerindian languages tend to be longer than English ones and are in the format of prefix + verb + suffix to get concepts across. Gaawiin miskwaasinoon is a complete sentence in Anishinaabemowin, for example (it is not red).

Names

Surprisingly, we don't have names like Passing Dawn or Two-Bears-High-Fiving in real life. A lot of us have, for lack of better phrasing, white people names. We may have family traditions of passing a name down from generation to generation (I am the fourth person in my maternal line to have my middle name), but not everyone is going to do that. If you do opt for a name from a specific tribe, make sure you haven't chosen a last name from another tribe.

Baby name sites aren't reliable, because most of the names on there will be made up by people who aren't Indigenous. That site does list some notable exceptions and debunks misconceptions.

Here's a list of last names from the American census.

Indian Names

You may also hear "spirit names" because that's what they are for. You know the sort of mystical nature-related name getting slapped on an Indigenous character? Let's dive into that for a moment.

The concept of a spirit name seems to have gotten mistranslated at some point in time. It is the name Creator calls you throughout all your time both here and in the spirit world. These names are given (note the word usage) to you in a ceremony performed by an elder. This is not done lightly.

A lot of imitations of this end up sounding strange because they don't follow traditional guidelines. (I realize this has spread out of the original circle, but Fallout fans may recall other characters in Honest Hearts and mods that do this. They have really weird and racist results.)

If you're not Indigenous: don't try this. You will be wrong.

Legal Terms

Now, sometimes the legal term (or terms) for a tribe may not be what they refer to themselves as. A really great example of this would be the Oceti Sakowin and "Sioux". How did that happen, you might be wondering. Smoky Mountain News has an article about this word and others, including the history of these terms.

For the most accurate information, you are best off having your character refer to themselves by the name their nation uses outside of legislation. A band name would be pretty good for this (Oglala Lakota, for example). I personally refer to myself by my band.

Cowboys

And something the Fallout New Vegas fans might be interested in, cowboys! Here's a link to a post with several books about Black and Indigenous cowboys in the Wild West.

Representation: Stereotypes and Critical Thought

Now, you'll need to think critically about why you want to write your Indigenous character a certain way. Here is a comprehensive post about stereotypes versus nuance.

Familiarize yourself with tropes. The Magical Indian is a pretty prominent one, with lots of shaman-type characters in movies and television shows. This post touches on its sister tropes (The Magical Asian and The Magical Negro), but is primarily about the latter.

Say you want to write an Indigenous woman. Awesome! Characters I love to see. Just make sure you're aware of the stereotypes surrounding her and other Women of Color.

Word to the wise: do not make your Indigenous character an alcoholic. "What, so they can't even drink?" You might be asking. That is not what I'm saying. There is a pervasive stereotype about Drunk Indians, painting a reaction to trauma as an inherent genetic failing, as stated in this piece about Indigenous social worker Jessica Elm's research. The same goes for drugs. Ellen Deloria is an example of this stereotype.

Familiarize yourself with and avoid the Noble Savage trope. This was used to dehumanize us and paint us as "childlike" for the sake of a plot device. It unfortunately persists today.

Casinos are one of the few ways for tribes to make money so they can build homes and maintain roads. However, some are planning on diversifying into other business ventures.

There's a stereotype where we all live off government handouts. Buddy, some of these long-term boil water advisories have been in place for over twenty years. The funding allocated to us as a percentage is 0.39%: less than half a percent to fight the coronavirus. They don't give us money.

"But what about people claiming to be descended from a Cherokee princess?" Cherokee don't and never had anything resembling princesses. White southerners made that up prior to the Civil War. As the article mentions, they fancied themselves "defending their lands as the Indians did".

Also, don't make your Indigenous character a cannibal. Cannibalism is a serious taboo in a lot of our cultures, particularly northern ones.

Our lands are not cursed. We don't have a litany of curses to cast on white people in found footage films. Seriously. We have better things to be doing. Why on earth would our ancestors be haunting you when they could be with their families? Very egotistical assumption.

Indigenous Ties and Blood Quantum

Blood quantum is a colonial system that was initially designed to "breed out the Indian" in people. To dilute our bloodlines until we assimilated properly into white society. NPR has an article on it here.

However, this isn't how a vast majority of us define our identities. What makes us Indigenous is our connections (or reconnection) to our families, tribes, bands, clans, and communities.

Blood quantum has also historically been used to exclude Black Natives from tribal enrollment, given that it was first based on appearance. So, if you looked Black and not the image of "Indian" the white census taker had in his brain, you were excluded and so were your descendants.

Here are two tumblrs that talk about Black Indigenous issues and their perspectives. They also talk about Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people of Australia.

However, if you aren't Indigenous, don't bring up blood quantum. Don't. This is an issue you should not be speaking about.

Cherokee Princess Myth

"Princess" was not a real position in any tribe. The European idea of monarchy did not suddenly manifest somewhere else. The closest probable approximation may have been the daughter of a chief or other politically prominent person. But princess? No.

Here is an article talking about possible origins of this myth. Several things are of note here: women from other tribes may have bee shoved under this label and the idea of a "Cherokee Princess" had been brought up to explain the sudden appearance of a brown-skinned (read: half Black) family member.

For a somewhat more in depth discussion of why, specifically, this myth gets touted around so often, Timeline has this piece.

Religion

Our religions are closed. We are not going to tell you how we worship. Mostly because every little bit we choose to share gets appropriated. Smudging is the most recent example. If you aren't Indigenous, that's smoke cleansing. Smudging is done in a specific way with ceremonies and prayers.

Now, a lot of us were forcibly converted. Every residential school was run by Christians. So plenty of us are Catholic, Baptist, Anglican, Lutheran, etc. Catholicism in Latin America also has influence from the Indigenous religions in that region.

Having your Indigenous character pray or carry rosaries wouldn't be a bad thing, if that religion was important to them. Even if they are atheist, if they lived outside of a reserve or other Indigenous communities, they might have Christian influences due to its domination of the Western world.

Settler Colonialism and the White Savior Trope

Now we've come to our most painful section yet. Fallout unintentionally has an excellent agent of settler-colonialism, in particular the Western Christian European variety, in Caesar's Legion and Joshua Graham.

(Addendum: Honest Hearts is extremely offensive in its portrayal of Indigenous people, and egregiously shows a white man needing to "civilize" tribals and having to teach them basic skills. These skills include cooking, finding safe water, and defending themselves from other tribes.)

Before we dive in, here is a post explaining the concept of cultural Christianity, if you are unfamiliar with it.

We also need to familiarize ourselves with The White Man's Burden. While the poem was written regarding the American-Philippine war, it still captures the attitudes toward Indigenous folks all over the world at the time.

As this article in Teen Vogue points out, white people like to believe they need to save People of Color. You don't need to. People of Color can save themselves.

Now, cultural Christianity isn't alone on this side of the pond. Writer Teju Cole authored a piece on the White Savior Industrial Complex to describe mission trips undertaken by white missionaries to Africa to feed their egos.

Colonialism has always been about the acquisition of wealth. To share a quote from this paper about the ongoing genocide of Indigenous peoples: "Negatively, [settler colonialism] strives for the dissolution of native societies. Positively, it erects a new colonial society on the expropriated land base—as I put it, settler colonizers come to stay: invasion is a structure not an event. In its positive aspect, elimination is an organizing principal of settler-colonial society rather than a one-off (and superseded) occurrence. The positive outcomes of the logic of elimination can include officially encouraged miscegenation, the breaking-down of native title into alienable individual freeholds, native citizenship, child abduction, religious conversion, resocialization in total institutions such as missions or boarding schools, and a whole range of cognate biocultural assimilations. All these strategies, including frontier homicide, are characteristic of settler colonialism. Some of them are more controversial in genocide studies than others." (Positive, here, is referring to "benefits" for the colonizers. Indigenous people don't consider colonization beneficial.)

An example of a non-benefit, the Church Rock disaster had Diné children playing in radioactive water so the company involved could avoid bad publicity.

Moving on, don't sterilize your Indigenous people. Sterilization, particularly when it is done without consent, has long been used as a tool by the white system to prevent "undesirables" (read, People of Color and disabled people) from having children. Somehow, as of 2018, it wasn't officially considered a crime.

The goal of colonization was to eliminate us entirely. Millions died because of exposure to European diseases. Settlers used to and still do separate our children from us for reasons so small as having a dirty dish in the sink. You read that right, a single dirty dish in your kitchen sink was enough to get your children taken and adopted out to white families. This information was told to me by an Indigenous social work student whose name I will keep anonymous.

It wasn't until recently they made amendments to the Indian Act that wouldn't automatically render Indigenous women non-status if they married someone not Indigenous. It also took much too long for Indigenous families to take priority in child placement over white ones. Canada used to adopt Indigenous out to white American families. The source for that statement is further down, but adoption has been used as a tool to destroy cultures.

I am also begging you to cast aside whatever colonialist systems have told you about us. We are alive. People with a past, not people of the past, which was wonderfully said here by Frank Waln.

Topics to Avoid if You Aren't Indigenous

Child Separation. Just don't. We deserve to remain with our families and our communities. Let us stay together and be happy that way.

Assimilation schools. Do not bring up a tool for cultural genocide that has left lasting trauma in our communities.

W/ndigos. I don't care that they're in Fallout 76. They shouldn't be. Besides, you never get them right anyway.

Sk/nwalkers. Absolutely do not. Diné stories are not your playthings either.

I've already talked about drugs and alcohol. Do your research with compassion and empathy in mind. Indigenous people have a lot of pain and generational trauma. You will need to be extremely careful having your Indigenous characters use drugs and alcohol. If your character can be reduced to their (possible) substance abuse issues, you need to step back and rework it. As mentioned in Jessica Elm's research, remember that it isn't inherent to us.

For our final note: remember that we're complex, autonomous human beings. Don't use our deaths to further the stories of your white characters. Don't reduce us to some childlike thing that needs to be raised and civilized by white characters. We interact with society a little differently than you do, but we interact nonetheless.

Meegwetch (thank you) for reading! Remember to do your research and portray us well, but also back off when you are told by an Indigenous person.

This may be updated in the future, it depends on what information I come across or, if other Indigenous people are so inclined, what is added to this post.

[aikoiya]

DB HC: Kept Tails

Honestly, I hc that in DBZ & DBS, the saiyans continue to grow their tails back because, let's be completely honest here. The real reason Toriyama stopped putting tails in was because he got tired of drawing them.

So, I don't like that & there's no reason for them not to have them & it could even create great plot threads with the inclusion of Wrathful Form earlier & SSJ4 eventually. Though, I don't like that they called it SSJ4 as it's actually something different from SSJ. It would've been more accurate to call it the Hitozaru Form or Primal Form. It'd also be interesting if achieving Primal unlocked a form of saiyan magic for them. I mean, it comes with magic clothes. Might as well run with it.

Not to mention, the inclusion of quirks, behaviours, mannerisms, & body language involving their tails. Really make it part of them & how they interact with the world around them.

Like, I hc that saiyans have instincts reminiscent of Dusky Titi Monkeys. Especially involving their mates. Which, these monkeys choose a single partner their entire lives & stick with them forever. Said mated pairs are known to twine their tails when near each other. However, since Goku, Vegeta, & Gohan's wives don't have tails of their own, they instead wrap their tails around their wives' leg, waist, or wrist.

They also like to brush their wives' hair & have their hair brushed in return. As well as brushing their children's hair. Obviously, it doesn't do much for how wild their hair is, but it's the bonding that's important.

It used to be that, every morning the Sadalan Saiyans used to go outside, climb to the highest point they could reach, & at dawn greet the morning with a shout to the rising sun. It always got the blood pumping nice & good. The sound was much like the Spanish grito with a definitive rolling r. It was an exclamation of excitement & always helped to start the day on the right foot.

Not to mention that training is also a form of bonding for Saiyans. It's part of why they do it so much.

I feel like Primal would make them oddly affectionate & strangely mischievous or pranksterish. That being because it puts them closer to their basic instincts.

Also, I hc that you can't reach Primal until you've mastered SSJ. Having & mastering SSJ2 & SSJ3 just makes obtaining Primal incrementally easier while also granting greater boosts to base Primal.

I'd make it so that Bulma makes moonshades, or sunglasses that block out blutz waves, so that Earth can keep the moon & they don't always have to worry about ape attacks.

At the same time, no one knows about Wrathful Form, which is sorta a pre-Primal form, until Broly. This prompts Goku & Vegeta to try & figure out what it is & how to use it. The discovery that they can access Oozaru's power in their base form is new & interesting & they try to pursue this concept.

It's at least fanon that SSJ increases a saiyan's S-cells. However, using Oozaru increases their O-cells. Primal increases both & is the optimal merging of the 2.

Not to mention bringing in GT to create a single long chain of events.

Though, if it were me, I'd also give Saiyans opposable toes & instead of regular shoes, they wear this glove-like footwear specifically so they can use their feet. Just a small detail that I'd find fun to have as a casual aspect & means of interacting with the world around them. This, along with increased dexterity, flexibility, & sense of balance/equilibrium makes them natural multitaskers as they have what are essentially a second pair of arms to do things with.

The Primal Form puts them in greater touch with their basic instincts, which tends to center around the 3 Fs; food, fighting, & fucking. They are the Saiyan race's greatest instinctive desires. Primal just makes those desires greater. It just so happens that when in Primal, they are typically focused on just fighting due to only really being used during fights.

At the same time, make Saiyans naturally physically minded. Meaning that they think better when they're using their bodies. This causes them to be more inclined to be on-the-fly strategists.

Finally, I would make it so half-Saiyans kept that instinct/desire to train & fight, though it'd be less intense than in full-Saiyans. That way, they really enjoy testing their limits & pushing beyond them, but they don't, like, obsess over it like with Goku & Vegeta.

DB Masterlist

[hatters-workshop]

Something that was a major glass shattering moment after watching Buffy was reading a post about how it seems like the scoobies at least try to be this supporting force around Buffy, but when it comes to it they keep doing things to just leave things to pile up on her. And I've been thinking more and more about it ever since and getting so annoyed. Like when her mum dies and then SHE dies and they bring her back, they're all like "so yeah you've got all these debts now. Good luck, we're gonna go chill in the room that's ours now" like at no point is it suggested by Willow or Tara that they get jobs to help Buffy keep the house and food on the table. Maybe at most it's mentioned that they cook occasionally but I could be muddling that with a fanfic, and I dang hope that they at least contribute to buying food but they're not working! So how would they? Like I know this isn't how it was meant to be but it almost seems like they brought her back cos they got one too many bills come through and went "well obviously we can't pay these because they're addressed to buffy." Like if the spell didn't bring her back what were they going to do? Get jobs for themselves and keep it for Dawn and them to live in? Sell it and fuck off to their own place and leave Dawn to fend for herself or move in with Spike or something? Giles was already noping the fuck out, and he had both the magic shop and the watchers council money coming in up until that point, why didn't he at least bring the bills up to date to give them a buffer?

Speaking of Giles and the Watchers' Council Buffy demanded that the council pay Giles his back pay from when they dismissed him and that he be reinstated as a watcher but where the FUCK is Buffy's pay? Why is there not an actual payment process to the slayers themselves? Every watcher and Kendra seems shocked that buffy still goes to school etc in the earlier series and that she's splitting her attention between slaying and other things but what is the other option? If a slayer lives long enough to get out of school guess what they're gonna need a job because the council apparently don't give any money to allow them to dedicate themselves to slaying without them and their loved ones/dependents going hungry and losing their homes. Or is it actually that watchers get paid for both of them and Giles just never shared it? In which case what the FUCK Giles?

I get that it isn't "a job" in the traditional sense but it's not like most slayers even know what they are until they're called, and no one knows who is going to be called next so it's not like payment would be an incentive for a future slayer to like kill the existing one out of money desperation so why wouldn't they pay slayers to incentivise them to focus entirely on their slaying?

Basically I hate that Slayers are chosen by fate to protect humanity and they still have to get a day job to survive while being told that they're shitty if they don't focus entirely on being the chosen one. I also hate that Buffy's best friends basically tell her "you're struggling with money? Gee that sucks for you, also we have no concept rent, thanks for the room buddy. What time's dinner" and her replacement dad yeets himself to a different country while he's getting paid big bucks to basically be retired as Buffy is just falling apart at the seams.

[neovisioned]

♡ꜜ cupid victorious﹫jaehyun jung

pairing : jaehyun x reader (f) ft. doyoung, jungwoo, yukhei, mark, taeyong and sicheng as the six other cupids, quick mention of seventeen’s jeonghan as jaehyun’s old tutor and red velvet’s joy as the reader’s close friend.

genre : angst, fluff, another smut with too much plot, cupid!jaehyun, soulmate!au, strangers to friends to lovers.

warnings : slow burn, one protected sex scenes, two unprotected sex scenes (as always, stay safe in real life) : heavy making out, dirty talk, body worship, praising, nipple play, penetration, marking, cock warming, morning sex, shower sex, manhandling, degradation, oral (make receiving), face fucking, creampie, fingering, overstimulation, heavy making out in an elevator, they can’t keep their hands off of each other at some point, mentions of sexting (again, in real life know the precautions to take before sending anything risqué) and non descriptive masturbation scene, car sex, semi-public sex, grinding, oral (female receiving), tongue fucking, edging, hair pulling, slight ass play, mention of spanking, slight impreg kink and cum play. 

word count : +26,5k

synopsis: where Jung Jaehyun is one of the seven cupids, one for each continent, and he truly, deeply loves what he does for the small people on planet earth. there isn’t any competition between him and his six other brothers, but most would agree that he’s the best cupid among them. and yet, he’s been stuck on a case for a bit too long now. down on the pretty blue planet, is you. equally as pretty, Jaehyun has to say, yet it seems his arrows aren’t working on you. being a hard-working and pretty stubborn cupid, he decides to take a trip downtown to get to know you better and why exactly, are his arrows not working like they’re supposed to. things don’t go as planned, especially when you take interest in him. 

a/n: please read this i just, this lowkey means a lot to me, this isn’t proofread and, peep my weak attempt at giving jaehyun pink eyes, this takes place in seoul. taglist : @coffeeofmine​, @mailuvsnct​, @junguws​, @suhweo​, @suhfluffy​, @animegirl366​, @ceruleanskies​, @the-universe-in-you-jjh

Jaehyun loves what he does. He wouldn’t even dare call it a job, rather, a vocation, a strong feeling that he was meant for this. The young men had been trained to become one of the seven Cupids when the old ones retired for other adventures. The legend says the old Cupids are eventually reborn on Earth for a more ordinary life after their service on Olympus. He also remembers being taught by the previous Cupid of the continent he was assigned to, a young-looking men with graceful and delicate features, long greyish hair that matched his silver bow. 

Quickly, he learned that Jeonghan - his tutor at the time - was somewhat a vicious Cupid. He knew how to make his job even more fun, taking young Jaehyun alongside him for adventures he could then brag about to the six other apprentices. The brunette remembers watching as his eldest shot arrows at two strangers, two best friends, two rivals, even. But never, never did he let Jaehyun touch one of his arrows, he was only allowed to watch from the high pedestal of a fluffy cloud, or draped in a soft sheet of invisibility. 

Out of the seven continents, Europe was given to Taeyong. One of the smallest, but prettiest, the Cupids all agreed. Taeyong was a cupid with sharp features, hair as red as his beloved bow. After travelling in every country and city, he, himself, fell in love with Paris without the need of any arrows. Taeyong eventually ended up making too many people fall in love in this very city after staying there a bit too much.

Mark, one of the youngest Cupids, was assigned to North America. What a huge continent for such a small frame, was what Jaehyun thought when they were first assigned. But, the brunette had to admit, Mark grew up a lot, Jaehyun didn’t have a single doubt that he had the shoulders for it now more than ever. The young men had a lot of fun with his blue bow, that’s for sure, and he made sure to tell every juicy story at the end of the day with the same contagious smile. 

South America was given to Yukhei. Another with sharp features who was more than happy to oblige. The Cupid was adventurous, loved going to secluded areas and learning more, loved a good sunbath after a day of work when he had the time. His green bow never had a chance to rest, though, it’s like he had a competition with Taeyong on who could shoot more arrows in a week.

Australia was Doyoung’s. The smallest continent, but that’s how the men liked it. He knew the entire country like the back of his hand, he even had his favorite spots, the black-haired could even walk in the streets like a normal citizen at times, without his invisibility spell. Doyoung was quite the careful Cupid with his silver bow, he liked to take his time with his decisions, a privilege few cupids had. 

Sicheng was in charge of Africa, oh how he loved how diverse the continent was. His favourite part was going to the small islands, he truly was living his best life, yellow bow shining under the burning sun. He too, has some interesting stories to tell, though he was extremely busy too.

Antarctica was Jungwoo’s. Needless to say, he didn’t really like it at first. At best 4,000 people during the summer, but Jungwoo finally found something good about it. He knew everyone, or almost. Sure, he didn’t use his black bow as much as everyone else, but he didn’t mind. He could even visit Yukhei every now and then, just to annoy him right before he had to shoot an arrow. 

And finally, Asia. This one was Jaehyun’s. What a huge responsibility for the young men. But, he accepted the biggest continent without a complaint. The brunette travelled the continent from north to south, east to west. His golden bow rarely caught some rest, Jaehyun was rather quick to shoot. 

And, when the time came for Jaehyun and his six friends, that he called his six brothers, to become the new generation of Cupids, he was nothing other than filled with joy. Joy and excitement, maybe a little bit of anxiety at the responsibility but, they all had been waiting for this moment.

It was five years ago, five years since he finally was able to take his bow in hand, pink irises shining with excitation as he accepted the great responsibility, fingers running over the sharp arrows. After years, months, weeks and days of learning how to match people together, become the perfect, invisible matchmaker. 

Strangely enough, it seemed humans managed to grasp the grand concept of their work pretty well. On his first day with Jeonghan, Jaehyun learned about Roman mythology’s Cupid and Greek mythology’s Eros, and how humans thought it was one immortal men handling the entire job, shooting a single arrow, making that person fall in love with the first individual they saw.  The brunette found this depiction rather funny, some differences were notable. Obviously, it wasn’t a one men job. Yes, the seven boys were pretty fast, but they wouldn’t ever be able to work with even one of them missing. They didn’t have one arrow, they actually had four different arrows : same heart-shaped at the end, different colors, different purposes. 

The first one was quite innocent, an open door for mistakes, it was the first many Cupids used. A bronze arrow meant for crushes.  The second one was what humans knew about. Silver, it was meant for love, be it for a serious relationship or not.  The third, was one every Cupid used often too, but with caution. The soulmate arrow was a golden arrow, eye-catching and almost dangerous looking. Cupids used this one when they knew two people were soulmates. Sometimes, they never used it on someone, and other times, they used it multiple times on an individual. 

The last one, every Cupid hated using at first. Dark, black, the “heartbreak” arrow. Jaehyun thought the name wasn’t so appropriate after all, it’s less radical than it sounds. It’s an arrow used to make people lose feelings. Because with time, Cupids learn that humans need a bit of a broken heart, need to fall out of love to move on to better things. 

Ask about the ceremony, the seven Cupids remember it like it happened yesterday. An entire night, from dusk until dawn, starting with the old cupids reciting the thousand years old speech they, themselves, heard when they became the new generation.  Every Cupid was called with their assigned continent, tutor handing them a bow, one by one, each a different color. Finally, when all the new seven Cupids were aligned, seven white arrows were shot in Olympus’ sky, leaving a pretty trail behind them, before eventually falling on earth. Yet another tradition, the legend says that whoever gets touched by this arrow will be one of the next Cupid. 

The night was attended by almost all the Gods and Goddesses, filled with songs, wine and nectar, gifts to get the Cupids’ good favors. Jaehyun remembers looking down on earth by the end of the night with a sense of pride and excitement.  That night was also the last time Jaehyun saw Jeonghan, the last time their tutors were seen on Olympus. As wine and nectar stopped flowing, two generations of Cupids went to sleep and only one remained, the oldest vanishing without a sound, without a trace. 

It was quite a sad sight, fourteen became seven, but Asia’s cupid knew he’d eventually come across his old tutor one day, living like a normal human, oblivious and amnesic to the adventures he had and loved to tell up in Olympus.  Jaehyun would recognize him in a second, and he swore he’d look over him like Jeonghan did. 

Jaehyun taps his fingers on his golden bow, itching to shoot an arrow again. It’s been a bit too long since he shot the last one, and he’s getting bored. On his pedestal, the Cupid looks down on earth with half-closed eyes, longing for something exciting to happen already.  No matter where his eyes land, what country, what city he decided to look over, it seems that his instincts aren’t kicking in, his instincts aren’t letting him know that his arrows could be useful. 

Minutes feel like hours for the brunette, but it seems the Gods and Goddesses heard his silent complains and bend to his needs, eyebrows raising as his pupils finally catch an interesting situation.

“Ah, finally.”, breathes Asia’s Cupid. Leaning in, his eyes take in the scene. In a gym, he doesn’t take long to find whoever sparked his interest. You. 

Hair attached in a ponytail, sweaty forehead, you’re in the middle of an intense workout session. By your side, it seems you have a coach, helping you with some gestures, shouting some encouraging words Jaehyun doesn’t really care to listen to.  Jaehyun has seen a lot of people, thousands a day, maybe more, who knows. But the Cupid himself has to say, you’re pretty. 

Though, the brunette is a professional Cupid. Or at least, he likes to think he is. This said, he doesn’t stay stuck looking at your figure, pink irises focused on the men next to you, going back and forth, detailing the situation.  As a Cupid, Jaehyun quickly understands that you need a little bit of love in your life, something to spice things up. Ask him to explain, he’ll tell you he can’t. Again, it’s pure instinct, with a bit of analyzing. Cupids usually feel when an arrow could be used on someone, and then, instinct and some thinking help them decide on the arrow to use. Usually, it doesn’t take more than a few seconds, Cupids just know when something is only meant to be a simple crush, when love is involved, or when things are simply meant to be. 

A pout forms on his lips, this wasn’t the most interesting case he had, but it could do. 

Now that the Cupid thinks about it, he had a thing for making strangers fall into each other’s arms, but he loved, absolutely loved, helping people cross the blurry line between hatred and love. Jaehyun has a few favorite stories, like the one time he made a prince and a trader fall in love, or the cliché college enemies finally giving in. But hélas, these stories didn’t happen every day, Jaehyun told himself as he grabbed his bow, arrow ready, string tense. 

A bronze arrow, one that will only make a crush bloom in your heart, that’s the one Jaehyun chose for you, your coach wasn’t the one for you, he could feel it. 

The Cupid did it hundreds of times a day, he didn’t have to think much about it. The brunette had the habit of closing an eye, making sure he had a good view and, without thinking too much, Jaehyun shot his arrow. 

And just like that, Jaehyun’s job for the day was done. 

A hot cup of black tea in your hand, you groan as Sooyoung swipes right on yet another picture you didn’t even get the chance to look at. Nice. Your friend had been asking, almost begging you to finally get on Tinder. And, after much convincing, you agreed, not knowing what you got yourself into. The red-haired didn’t waste a second to grab your phone, swiping left and right while barely letting you judge by yourself the people she was virtually matching you with. 

Pictures were moving left and right, left, left, right, faces blending into each other, not a single bio catching your attention. Crazy how many people like the same few hobbies, how bland description can make you dizzy overtime. You were too tired to focus on the handful of people Sooyoung was making you look at anyways. After an entire day of work, and a full session of workout, all you could do was hum more or less loudly, hoping your close friend could translate your vibrations into yes and no’s. 

“Fuck, you’re out.”, she interjects. It manages to catch your attention a bit more, lifting your eyes from the brownish liquid. Out ? Out of what.  “What if you payed for more swipes ?”, your friend taunts. Judging your reaction, her head rolls back, trying to get a good look at you with her head on your lap, finger dangerously hovering over the payment wall on the screen. 

“Oh no, no way I’m paying for that !”, you mumble with a tired voice, almost knocking your drink out of your hand as you grab your phone. No way you’d pay for something like that anytime soon. 

“Y/N, c’mon !”

You know Sooyoung so well you don’t need to see her face to picture her rolling her eyes at you. For the past month or so, your friend had been trying to get you on dates, without much success, unfortunately. See, if Sooyoung was quite with her time, not having a problem with finding dates after dates via dating apps, you on the other hand, didn’t feel the same. Maybe you were too romantic for your generation, but you still found it really hard to get with the entire meeting via social media thing.

“You know I’ll delete that as soon as you leave, right ?”, you tell her again, quickly closing the application before locking your phone, an audible sigh from your friend as the background noise. 

“Uh, alright, at least I tried.”, the red-headed tells herself, finally moving from your legs that were starting to get numb under her body. But, it doesn’t take long for her to lash onto yet another possibility the second after. “And what about your coach ?” 

A frown takes over your features, your mouth a thin line you hide behind your cup. The tea’s still hot, the sugary liquid burns down your throat and you take the opportunity to think a bit more about her words. 

Your coach, you never really thought about him in that way. You also never thought about him out of the gym setting, actually. But, now that you did, you had to admit that he was a good looking person. And, you did notice his new haircut today, undercut making his figure look cleaner.  Then again, you saw him often, but when he saw you, you were always sweaty and out of breath. You also realized that you associated his name and face to the not-so-pleasant body aches you had every time you left the gym. Strangely, your right arm was always a bit more sore-. 

“Nah.”, you finally respond, catching a drop of tea threatening to fall down your chin. And, by the looks of it, Sooyoung really thought something could spark with how long you took to respond. The young girl can only scoff, mumbling something under her breath, scrolling on her phone and you can only guess she’s trying to find one guy she met once in college five years ago that she can maybe present to you. 

And you guessed right, after a few minutes, she turns her phone towards you, the brightness a bit too much for your half-closed eyes. An Instagram picture on her phone shows you another guy with red, long hair. Half of it is tied in a bun, the other half falls in front of his sharp eyes in a curtain of bangs. From his caption, it seems he’s Japanese, or at least can speak it. 

“Nice hair.”, you simply tell her, hoping she’d drop the subject, but obviously, Sooyoung doesn’t. The young girl looks at the picture once again, a fake frown on her face as she gestured to her own hair. “I’m actually, CEO of the company.” 

“You’re one hard case, Y/N.”, your close friend finally concludes, after facing your silence for a few seconds. You can’t believe her, she starts scrolling again, determined look on her face. You really find it heartwarming, how she’s trying to help you find love even when you act the way you do. You didn’t even tell her why you disregarded the red-haired men, she already knew you were a stubborn, hopeless romantic, views tinted and distorted by years of romance novels and cheesy movies. 

“Sooyoung, you’re not the Cupid you think you are.” 

Yet another day in the somewhat mundane yet exciting world of Cupids. Jaehyun wouldn’t have it any other way, though, or at least, he thinks so. On his little pedestal, the cupid takes a sip of his nectar.  On the soft cloud, his foot kicks at the fluffy texture, watching as it dissolves in the wind. It’s right in the middle of the day for Asia’s Cupid, he already shot a lot of arrows, a few soulmate arrows and had just been the invisible witness of a forbidden love blooming, something he could tell the other cupids about tonight. 

Jaehyun finds himself looking over your city again, it’s something he does a lot. The young men doesn’t have a favorite city, he can’t put Tokyo, Seoul, Shanghai and other cities against each other, but he does like Korea’s capital quite a bit. Cherry trees full of fruits, people are going out more often, summer is making everything better. And then, the young Cupid gets that feeling. One him and the six other Cupids know oh, so well. Tips of his fingers tingling, pupils blown, his eyes quickly find his new subject.  And it’s...You again ? 

“You, again...?” Jaehyun can’t help but voice his thoughts out, no one can hear him anyways. But it’s weird, to see you again. Didn’t he shoot you yesterday ? Yes, Cupids see a lot of people, but Jaehyun has a good memory and won’t forget a face so quickly.  A human having a crush on someone and falling in love with someone else weeks, even days after isn’t impossible, but Jaehyun never had it happen so quickly. Maybe you fell in love with your coach, the brunette thinks, but as he gets a closer look, he notices that your coach, isn’t really here.  Uh, interesting, Jaehyun thinks. Maybe today won’t be so mundane, maybe you’re the one who’ll spice things up for him.  It’s weird, you’re not thinking about your coach. That, Jaehyun can tell. There isn’t a single trace of love interest for him in your soul, Asia’s Cupid wonders if he missed his shot yesterday. It happens rarely, maybe three times since he started this, but it can happen. It gets the young men even more intrigued. 

A small smile creeps on his lips as he sees you stopping in front of a cherry tree, admiring the red dots all over, taking a quick picture before walking straight ahead. It doesn’t look like you’re working today, Jaehyun knows it’s Saturday on Earth. Much like Doyoung, the brunette has a sort of obsession with the blue planet, he knows more than most of his brothers.   Another thing he knows, it looks like you’re meeting up with someone. The Cupid sees you stopping at a coffee shop, he decides not to look inside of you walk in. 

And Jaehyun is right to do so, several minutes after, you’re walking out with a hot cup of tea and a cheesecake. Good taste, the Cupid thinks. He loves cheesecake as well, Doyoung bought some the other day. Even better, the two ate it all by themselves, lets just say his five other brothers aren’t that interested in Earth’s culture. Finally, you take advantage of the Summer weather, taking a seat outside. You don’t look as sweaty as yesterday, obviously. Hair down, the soft wind makes the tips of your locks tingle your skin, locks you brush away quickly. Jeans and a light top, your everyday makeup is done. 

As you take your phone out, the young men takes a step back, trying to see if he can find the one you’re waiting for in the streets. It’s a fun luck-based game he plays from time to time. But it seems luck isn’t on his side today, when his pink irises find your silhouette again, he notices a man sitting right in front of you.  Oh, him. Something serious could happen with him, Jaehyun can tell by the way the tip of his fingers tingle. Yet, you can do better than that, Asia’s cupid thinks to himself. And suddenly, he stops himself. He shouldn’t think this, a Cupid shouldn’t have such judgments. Brushing the thought away, he takes a step forward, trying to understand who this guy is to you. 

“How long has it been ?”, the men asks, apparently it manages to make you laugh a bit as you answer. “A decade or so.” With this, it’s easy to understand you two haven’t seen each other in a long, very long time. So you two already somewhat know each other, it might help things, maybe you didn’t know your coach enough to feel things. The arrows’ law can alter and be a bit strange, sometimes. 

“You’ve grown up a lot since junior high, Y/N”, the unknown men says, a pool of heat creeping on your cheeks.  Pretty name, the Cupid thinks. Old friends reuniting after years, that’s a cute situation, he thinks to himself. He can see something mildly serious coming out of it, he isn’t a soulmate but, he could be in your life for a year or two, maybe three. 

He shrugs, taking his beloved bow in his right hand, silver arrow in the other. A routine, string tense, one eye closed, from this distance, Jaehyun knows he won’t miss, there isn’t a chance in the world he’d miss a shot like that, he’s close, the target isn’t moving. 

And so, he shoots. When the arrow lands, right in the middle of your chest as you’re taking a bite of your cheesecake, the young men sees you slightly choking on it, chuckling to himself. Something quickly sparks in your eyes when your old friend helps you whip your chin, there you go.  Jaehyun thinks he’s done with you. That night, he tells his six brothers about the girl that choked on cheesecake.

“Myungdae ? Ew, no.”, you whisper out, eyes travelling from the sculpture to your friend, almost choked at the proposition. The look on your face is enough to tell her exactly what you think about your old friend, to Jaehyun’s misbelief.

He cannot believe it, he can’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. His lips part in pure shock, or maybe it’s awe, he doesn’t know quite yet. On his pedestal, the arrow and bow the young men was supposed to shoot a few moments prior stay inert at his side, glowing under the white neon light.  Ew, no. The two, simple words, simple sounds, ring again and again in his head. And it’s not like you’re lying too, the Cupid can feel it, or he actually, he doesn’t feel it. He doesn’t feel any love interest towards Myungdae, the guy you saw a few days ago, the guy he thought would be your future boyfriend. 

“What ?”, Asia’s Cupid almost screams out, it’s not like anyone will hear anyways, right ?

“What…?”, Sooyoung unknowingly mimics the young men’s words, but her tone is slightly different. “He’s cute !” The red haired speaks a bit too loudly for the setting, Jaehyun sees you shooting a death glare at who he found out is your good friend. She’s being too loud in the museum, the very museum Jaehyun felt pulled to, his instincts telling him to shoot the golden arrow at your best friend, one of the museum’s tour guide he quickly found out was a soulmate.

“He…He is…!”, you tell your friend, hoping it’ll make her calm down a little bit more. As Sooyoung sighs, eyes wondering around as she searches for the right words, her pupils land on a group’s guide. He’s a tall men with dark brown hair, beige shirt from the museum hugging his built figure. Fuck, Jaehyun thinks. There’s too much going on, he can not forget about Sooyoung.

“I just…Can’t help but see him as the kid that puked on the school trip for Busan.”, you tell your friend, but it’s clear her attention is taken by the men describing the sculpture to the small group of tourists. Little do you know, Jaehyun is listening closely to your words. Though, the men has to act quick. He’s been a Cupid for long enough that it takes him seconds to get everything ready. String tense, one eyes close, golden arrow aiming just right, the brunette shoots the arrow at the tour guide with ease. He looks a bit older than you and your friend. Finally, as the heart tip touches him right on the left side, his eyes meets Sooyoung’s, he smiles at her.  

“…But…But it went well, right ?”, Sooyoung is a good friend, trying her best to keep her attention on you but, it’s clear the men’s smile took her back. Jaehyun also decides he likes her a lot, voicing every question he isn’t able to ask you in person.

“It did…” You can’t really explain it. Yes, it went well, he seemed a bit interested, but you weren’t. It’s not what you were looking for, it’s like everything was right but, something was missing. A feeling something much greater was waiting for you out there, somewhere. Only, if only it’d present itself to you. A sigh leaves your lips as you’re literally ranting about your dead love life as your best friend seems to fall in love with you, what a cruel coincidence.

A worried look takes over Asia’s Cupid’s face.

The brunette never saw this, not in front of his very eyes. He doesn’t even remember hearing stories about anyone…Refusing love ? Not being affected by his arrows ? Eyebrows furrowed, Jaehyun’s heart picks up for the first time. It’s a weird feeling, he doesn’t know if he’s supposed to experience, it pumps faster, alters his breathe.

“Maybe I used all my shots at love already.”, you tell Sooyoung, shoulders going up, and down as you try to act nonchalant. It’s not hard to tell you’re faking it, at least, it isn’t for the Cupid.

No, Jaehyun wants to scream it out at you, you still have so much to see, so much to feel, he thinks. It’s funny, how the brunette didn’t even experience it and yet, he knows about all the things you deserve to see. Shit, something is clearly wrong, the Cupid can tell, he feels it twisting his guts, a cold sweat on your forehead. The subject is dropped quickly after your close friends reassures you the best she can, too quickly. The Cupid sighs from above, he wishes he was there. 

That night, Jaehyun decides he’s going to Earth for another one of his mission.

Such a simple phrase. “I’m going down.”, yet, it has the power to take back the six other Cupids, again. A decision like this shouldn’t really require such an announcement, they think at first. Doyoung goes to Australia whenever he wants and doesn’t feel the need to nervously let it out after tapping on his glass with his knife. But quickly, they all understand this isn’t about a small walk on Earth to visit, Jaehyun’s on a mission he’s decided he won’t give up on. Jaehyun had two trips to Earth, small ones for missions that required his presence and a little bit more knowledge on the person he was supposed to shoot. But never did it felt this, Jaehyun couldn’t really put his finger on it, but something told him this mission would be a lot more different than the two others.

“Aren’t you taking this a bit too much at heart ?”, asks Doyoung, after Asia’s Cupid finishes his explanations. He’s worried for the youngest, Cupids usually don’t go on Earth for anything other than a walk, Jaehyun already broke this stereotype twice and came back without a scratch, but the black-haired was scared something would eventually happen to him there, where they may not have as much of an authority. His back faces Jaehyun, slicing some red apples for Sicheng, who’s making dinner, but Asia’s Cupid still pouts at him like he’ll be able to see. “No…”, he starts, but his sentence quickly gets stopped by Taeyong’s low chuckle, who’s following the situation with a curious eye. “Alright, maybe a little. But that’s my job !”

“He’s right, that’s our job. Something isn’t right with her.”, Yukhei finally speaks, looking up from the book he was reading, body ungracefully laying on the bench. The brunette had a long, long day, and didn’t talk much that evening, but Jaehyun sure appreciated the small contribution to his cause.

“Thank you.”, Jaehyun slightly nods at his brother for the support, before looking over at Jungwoo, helping or rather, clinging onto Doyoung. “Jungwoo could look over Asia while I’m gone, I won’t take long anyways…!”

At that, Jungwoo drops what he’s doing, such a dramatic being. Pretty unfortunate for Doyoung’s hand, who has to dodge a sharp kitchen knife. “Jungwoo, what the-.”

“For real ?”, asks Antarctica’s Cupid, pink eyes as big as saucers. Don’t get him wrong, the young men grew to love his continent, but he’d kill to be Asia’s Cupid, even for a day. And he said it multiple times before. Jaehyun’s other two missions were so short he didn’t really need replacement, but this time, Asia’s Cupid was clear in making everyone understand that this, you, were a special case.

“Yeah…But only if it doesn’t add too much work…”, Jaehyun knows it isn’t an easy task, the biggest continent is a lot of work and a lot of arrows to shoot. He barely needs more arguments, though, the blonde laches onto Asia’s Cupid’s arms, to the five other’s misbelief. It’s a mechanism, the way Jaehyun’s arms wrap around Jungwoo’s frame with a small laugh.

“You won’t have a lot of time, thought.”, Taeyong says, to which the brunette has to agree with a nod, awaiting for his brothers’ final decision. Obviously, he wouldn’t do anything without everyone’s approval.

Time behaves differently, in Olympus. Weeks and days are not really a thing, after all, Gods, Goddesses and other creatures don’t really need to worry about a thing that won’t affect them. But, if they’d have to count, a year on Earth would feel like six months for the Gods, maybe even less.

“I know, I know. I won’t be long anyways…How much time do I have ?”

It’s a group decision, Jaehyun’s aware of this. If his brothers end up disagreeing to his proposition, he’d have to accept it, if they give him a small amount of time in unanimity, he’d have to bent to their decision and make it work.

“How about, around a month on Earth, maximum ? You can take care of Asia for that time being, right, Jungwoo ?”, Sicheng finally speaks up and proposes, it’s unnecessary to say that Antarctica’s Cupid agreed with a vigorous nod of the head, locks bouncing on his smiling face.

“It’s settled, then.”, it’s half of a question Doyoung asks Asia’s Cupid, a month is more than enough, he thinks.

“Good luck on Earth, then. And don’t do anything stupid, we’ll watch over ya.”, Mark concludes, slightly hitting his brother’s shoulder.

And that’s how, Jaehyun, Asia’s Cupid, ended up on Earth for the third time.

Unlike Doyoung, Jaehyun never really went on Earth for a simple walk but thankfully, he was so curious about Earth that the rules and codes of the planet weren’t new to him, at all. It was indeed, different from Olympus, but he liked it as much, maybe even more. No Gods or Goddesses to please, no curses and weird family treasons to keep up with. He didn’t have the same authority here but, he wasn’t helpless either, he was equal to everyone.

He knew about phones and, he was very happy to get his hands on one. He sometimes thought about how it’d be pretty funny to have these up on Olympus so he could send pictures to his brothers, same for televisions but he didn’t know if any deities would actually want to participate in such a thing. Even after these two trips, the difference between watching from his little Cupid cloud and being on Earth still struck him. Being painted as a normal human, at the same level with everyone, being noticed and looked at by people he does not know and won’t ever see again, not being invisible. It was different, but it felt right.

When his body finally materialized in the small apartment he was granted for his stay, the first thing he did was look outside. The place was in the city center, a modest apartment that didn’t have anything to compare with his Palace in Olympus, but he quite liked it. Pretty trees, grey streets, the sound of cars and people talking was something he wasn’t used to, nor was he used to the city lights enlightening his apartment at night, the pitch-black darkness of Olympus long gone. Inside, it was small, intimate, kitchen and living room connected, a small bathroom but one large bedroom he immediately took a liking for with it’s floor to ceiling windows. He’d get used to it pretty quickly, Jaehyun was sure of that, but one thing he probably wouldn’t get used to, even after a month here, was not being able to see his brothers. Jaehyun remembers thinking he’d be able to live here until he thought about them. It took him back, at first. Jaehyun wasn’t used to being alone at home, he was used to the somewhat harmonious chaos his brothers would create with and around him. He knew he’d be able to communicate with them if, and only if it was necessary, he knew they’d watch over him, but it still felt weird.

Loneliness isn’t a feeling Jaehyun is used to, he finds the feeling usually comes with a lot of questioning too. That’s something Jaehyun doesn’t like to do, questioning. Yet, his current status comes with a lot of blank spaces and questions that are maybe meant to stay unanswered. Asia’s Cupid would like to be able to push them aside, like his brothers seem to be able to do. But maybe they do think about these questions a lot too, after all, Jaehyun never dared to ask. It’s on his first night on Earth, stomach empty and apartment half decorated that he finally lets these question fill his mind again. Sitting on his new bed, gazing at this city that never seems to sleep, he wonders if he was one of them, before. There’s a club nearby, Jaehyun wonders if he used to be the type to party, if he was a student, if he was a boy or a girl, what he identified as, if he was in love, if he was loved. He never told anyone but, sometimes, he feels nostalgia looking down on humans, missing something he doesn’t even remember experiencing. A sense of déjà-vu, like he used to do these things, going out with friends, watching movies, having first kisses, making love, living oblivious to everything above. Jaehyun will never admit it, much less talk about it to his brother, but, a few times, he had blurry visions. Images forming in his head at random times, they were never long, a slip second leaving Jaehyun wondering, desperately trying to recreate it. Asia’s Cupid remembers seeing a tall man, brown hair, cat-like eyes, an old camera pointed at him. Him, he saw him two times, he also remembers seeing a brunette, petite girl with a dimple. Who were they to him, before ? He’d never know, family, friends, lovers, it’s his guess. He hates it, but what can he do about it ?

It’s one of the few downsides of being a Cupid. Knowing you have a past, maybe multiple past lives, and not remembering any of it, it’s cruel, in a way. Not knowing how you died, when you died, knowing the ones you now view as brothers weren’t in your life. Knowing one day, another generation of Cupids will take the lead and goodbyes are going to be crushing. It’s a double sided blade, being that aware of your faith.

The young men doesn’t like thinking about it much, busying his mind whenever his brain wonders with whatever he can find. And, that’s exactly what he’s doing.

Ah, how Gods and Goddesses are dramatic, Jaehyun thinks when his eyes finally land on the file, neatly tracked on the black table. Golden letters on the white hardcover, his name written on it, calling him. Finally, delicate digits peal the cover, flipping the first page over. Your name, age, date of birth, everything’s written on it. And, most importantly, your workplace.

 “Hey, Y/N.”, a voice you know too well calls you out, but do you care enough to look up ? No. Definitely not. Maybe it’s a bit…Mean. But you pray to any God above that he’ll leave you alone. Eyes scanning the same sentence over, and over again, you try your best to look busy. Extremely busy with your email and empty photoshop project open.

“Hey ! You busy ?”, the same voice again, a bit closer, fuck. You have to look up at Daeyong, standing right behind your computer, forcing a smile on your face. The men gives you the same smile, though you don’t doubt he’s a bit more sincere than you are. A half gloved hand pushes his bleached hair back - he works on a graphic tablet -, you wonder if the dry locks won’t fall right off. He, Daeyong, is one of your many colleagues in the publicity agency. He works in the cubicle a few meters away from yours, though you sometimes wish he was in an entirely different building.

“Hey, Daeyong. No, no, what’s up ?”, at this point, you can’t really tell him you’re busy. Knowing him, he’ll probably look over your computer to see any progress on the project you’re supposed to be working on. You bite the inside of your cheek when he giggles at your face, you can’t be the only one to feel the awkwardness, fuck. See, a few months ago, he asked you out on a date to a niche restaurant. At first, you accepted, he had cornered you in front of a few other people and you couldn’t really say no, you didn’t want to put him in such an embarrassing situation. But, after much thinking - a minute into your shower-, you decided you didn’t want to go. A text was sent and lets just say your doubts were now facts, Daeyong was the cliché of the Reddit Nice Guy.

You remember him blowing up on you, and of course, you didn’t let it slide. Heated texts were exchanged and after weeks of silence and tension - not the good one - between the two of you, he decided to apologize. Yet, you couldn’t let the situation go, he still made you feel uncomfortable. He tried to act overly nice, you’d prefer if he just…Apologized and stopped talking to you.

“There’s a newbie, he’s taking the spot next to you. Boss wants you to help him feel welcomed and all, y’know the drill, yeah ?”, you hate how he speaks to you like you’re still friends, like nothing happened. You just nod, getting more and more uncomfortable the longer he stays there. Right behind your computer, like you own him something. Daeyong opens his mouth a few times, trying to starts a sentence, tongue wetting his chapped lips.

As you’re about to excuse yourself for an early coffee break, he finally finds his words.

“Hey, I think we cou-.”, he starts. And you know, you know were this is going. We could try again, we could be good together. But, before he can finish his sentence and before you can even let out a syllable, it seems the universe finally helps you out.

“Hey, Y/N, right ?”, a deep, unknown voice comes from your side. You’re so tense it almost makes you jump. “Oh, sorry, am I interrupting something ?”, he continues. Your savior, and polite at that. The universe gave you an opportunity, you’re going to take it, with both hands and not let go. Quickly, you use your chair to spin around, back to Daeyong, facing whoever saved you from this embarrassing and quite annoying situation, maybe you’ll-

“Oh.”

Oh. You freeze for a good second, maybe a bit more, looking up at who you hope is your new cubicle neighbor. Slender, feline eyes that curl at the inner corner looking at you through short, cute, eyelashes. Deep, dark brown irises and it feels like…You’ve seen them before ? They hold something familiar, something inviting, you wonder if you met him before, a long, long time before. It’s when the bridge of his nose scrunch up with a smile that you snap out. Fuck, have you been glaring at him for long ? Did he notice ?

“N-No, no !”, you starts quickly, pearly teeth biting down on your painted bottom lip when he laughs a little. It’s airy, short and yet, the small sounds makes your heart pick up, pumping up blood to your cheeks.

“I mean yes, I’m Y/N. And no, you didn’t interrupt anything !”, you reassure him, finally collecting yourself. Oh god.

“Eh…He’s the newbie I was talking about.”, clearing his throat, Daeyong adds, visibly throw off, great. “I’ll get going then, take care of him.”, he finishes, before finally, oh finally, leaving for his own cubicle. You can’t help but sigh of relief, before the said newbie stretches a hand out.

“I’m Jaehyun.”, he says, and you don’t hesitate to take his hand in yours, intending to shake it slightly. But, when his skin touches yours, it might seem insane, maybe you’re going crazy, but the shiver that runs down your spine takes you back for a second.

Jaehyun feels it too, the lukewarm tips of his digits lingering on your skin. Something is different, different from the few other humans he met, face to face. Jaehyun isn’t supposed to be feel anxious around humans, isn’t he…A superior being after all ? He isn’t from this world, not…really. He has another understanding of the world and yet, he feels equal to you, equal to humans for the first time in this very moment, when his brown eyes bore into yours.

“Y/N.”, you introduce yourself anyways.

People say time behaves differently in certain places. Unfamiliar McDonald’s on a roadtrip, lakes in a suburban neighborhoods, you could name a few and maybe, just maybe, you can add your small cubicle in this very moment.

Jaehyun sits down in front of the desk next to you, his face disappearing behind the thin wall for a quick second. He lets his black bag down, before both his palms hit the white desk. You laugh a little, he might be a little overwhelmed by the graphic tablet, the two computer screens still asleep in front of his eyes. He looks young, you note, probably around your age, maybe he’s straight out of university and just started working.

“So, Jaehyun.”, you start again, Jaehyun’s body leaning against his chair. His ears are a bit red, rosy skin contrasting, cute, you think. “Where did you study ?”

“I, uhm…”, fuck, Jaehyun knew his made-up backstory by heart and yet, his throat went dry the minute you said his name. “Paris, Gobelins.”, he finally says with a smile. Relax, Jaehyun, relax. Before leaving, him and his brothers made an entire backstory. Family name, parents, siblings, hobbies, anecdotes, studies, exes. They went through everything and yet, he almost fucked it up a second in. Thankfully, you don’t seem to notice, your attention drawn to his words. Paris ? Les Gobelins ? Your lips part for a second, eyes wide for the second time today. “Paris ?”, you whine out, unconsciously leaning forward. Jaehyun hums, finger pressing on the computer’s button, thank the Gods, he knows how everything works, “How was it ?” Thankfully for Jaehyun, he doesn’t even have to set foot in Paris to know exactly how it is. “Pretty, it’s a really pretty city.” Taeyong brags about it every day, he thinks to himself. “Especially during the summer, the architecture is amazing. Lots of tourists and traffic, though.”, he notes, acting like he’s thinking to himself. You sigh at that, almost day dreaming when your new cubicle neighbor tells you about the Louvre and other highly known places. “I’ve always wanted to go.”, you mumble, graphic pen slightly hitting your desk. Jaehyun decides the pout on your lip might be the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

If Jaehyun was a bit more aware of himself, he would’ve known, he would’ve known he was fucked from the very beginning. The slight alteration in his heartbeat when his hand met yours, a Cupid is not supposed to feel such things. It’s a cruel rule, Cupids are not supposed to feel love, they are not supposed to fall in love. After all, if Cupids are able to comprehend such emotions, wouldn’t it make their job harder ? Love would come across their duty, what if they had a crush on someone on Earth and forgot to shoot, or even worst, refuse to shoot an arrow ? Cupids understood rather quickly that love might be beautiful, it could also be extremely dangerous. Especially when they travel across their continent all day long, meeting beautiful souls after beautiful souls.

If he was aware, the Cupid would’ve known. He would’ve known when your giggle at his confused look towards the two computer screen and multiple programs took a smile out of him. He would’ve known when you asked for his phone number on his third day and his throat went dry. He would’ve known when you walked out of the building with him on the fifth day and his heart skipped a beat when you waved goodbye, slight tired smile stretching your lips. Asia’s Cupid would’ve known when you bought him something to drink around his second week, he would’ve known if he wasn’t so stubborn, so blind.

It’s just because he’s taking the mission at heart, he thinks to himself after a little bit more than a week working in your small company. Jaehyun brushes it off, he keeps himself busy and would rather not think about you more than he already is. The young men does not want to think about his past lives and the half second long flashes he seems to get more frequently on the blue planet and so, he tries his hardest to distract himself. On his trip to Earth, Jaehyun finds he loves painting, it’s something he could not do on Olympus very often, he was too busy during the day, too tired during the night. And so, the Cupid buys himself some paint, some brushes and some canvas. Jaehyun finds he also really likes this deep brown bubbly soda, at least he has something else to drink than the sugary nectar he always has up there. The Cupid also gets interested in Earth’s cinema. It’s fun to watch, he finally has the time to binge watch every Spiderman ever made. But, when the movie ends and the inspiration runs out, Jaehyun can not run away from you. He doesn’t know it yet, the Cupid does not want to face it either but, you’re already carved in his heart. And, even when he thinks he’s distracting himself from you, he takes a step back from the painting he’s working on and… The pretty pale colors strangely look like you.

See, there’s another small issue with Asia’s Cupid’s plan. After two weeks on Earth and much observation, Jaehyun notices you aren’t interested in anyone. A rather big issue when he barely has half a month left to understand exactly what the fuck is going on with you and successfully accomplish his mission. You two share even more during coffee breaks and there isn’t a single spark. His sensations aren’t as sharp on Earth but, he doesn’t see any lingering look from your side, no discreet look over someone, nothing. It’s clear none of your co-workers had a chance with you, at least. Another thing the boy notices after a bit more time, you don’t need him, you don’t need help on your shoulder. When you finally seem interested by someone, Jaehyun feels the slight numbness in his fingertips and, for a second, he’s happy. So happy, it feels like his mission starts now. You don’t need his help to go out of your way and make a move. Small issue ? He’s the love interest.

From : You, 8:37 pm. : “About the company’s gathering, we should go together so I can introduce you to everyone you need to know.”

There’s a slight sigh coming from Jaehyun’s lips as he looks at the screen of his phone, he quickly got used to the object. This is just a friendly proposition, he thinks to himself. After all, you were supposed to help him get more comfortable in his new job, right ? The gathering is in three days, the third day of the third week of Jaehyun’s timeline. Now that he thinks about it, maybe he’ll find your perfect match at said gathering with other similar companies. The Cupid still blinds himself. If anyone was looking over him from above, they’d scoff at his attitude.

To : You, 8:40 pm. : “Yeah, sure !”

From : You, 8:42 pm. : “Nice, will pick you up at 9 ?”

To : You, 8:45 pm. : “Good for me !” Jaehyun hits send, his fingertips tingle.

Third day of his third week, the blindfold finally falls down or rather, it rips. Jaehyun can only numb himself for so long, a man can only pretend to not hear when someone’s screaming at them. Jaehyun might remember this very moment all his life. It had rained, this morning, the dark concrete floor dark by the summer water. At least, it took some degrees out of the current heat. Poor Cupid enters a phase the moment he sees you checking your lipstick in a small round mirror, in the back of a black, luxurious car. His heart doesn’t skip a beat, it pumps faster. The tallest had some fever dreams, dreams where the air is thick, dense, where it feels like he’s the only one aware of the altered universe his brain created and, it feels the same. Jaehyun feels like he has every God and Goddess watching him from above. Judging, detailing and yet, he also feels so alone, standing there right in front of the glossy car door. Palms sweaty, ears a deep shade of pink, there’s no denying it.

“Don’t get attached, you won’t see her again.”, Doyoung’s words before he left ring in his mind again, it seems he never stood a chance anyways. He’s fucked, oh so fucked. Jaehyun doesn’t want to say the word love, he does not. But he’s a Cupid, he knows how all of this work. The man almost has an out of body experience the moment you look up, bright smile stretching your lips and you lean to the side, opening the car door for him. The dress you’re wearing is a deep blue, much like the suit Jaehyun is wearing, what a coincidence. It hugs your body, softly decors the skin of your hips before falling under gravity’s law. By the way you’re seating, one leg over the other on your side of the car, Jaehyun can clearly see the deep thigh cut in your silk dress, his eyes almost flash their natural pink color for a second.

He might project out of his body at any second. At that moment, Jaehyun knows, if he was simply Asia’s Cupid looking over two people, two colleagues going to a fancy gathering, he’d shot the soulmate arrow without a doubt in mind. He knew it before, he just didn’t want to face it. Tonight, he knows and acknowledges it. You, on the other hand, don’t take too long to notice his skin turning white when he finally steps in and takes a seat. The nervous rub of his palms against the fabric of his pants, his lack of words when he’s usually talkative. How could you know ? At this very moment, when Jaehyun understands you’re his soulmate, his other half in this world, you think he’s simply nervous.

“Hi. You seem nervous.”, you voice is soft, comprehensive. You were the new employee too, at some point, and you remember being extremely intimidated for your first gathering as well.  

“Hey. Uh, yeah. I’m a bit…nervous.”, he mumbles, eyes straight ahead. At this very moment, he does not know what to do, he finds the driver’s bold head very, very interesting. The moment he attaches the security belt, the car starts moving. The Cupid looks away, eyes on the multiple neon lights lightening the dark streets, softly reflecting on the wet ground, he does not know what to do.

You, on the other hand, might be a bit too worried about the brunette. The car might be a pricy one, the space in the backseat isn’t so big but you use it at your advantage. Lightly pushing your colleague, now you’d like to say friend, with your shoulder, you get his attention back. There’s a soft smile stretching his lips, Jaehyun quickly understood he couldn’t resist you, he couldn’t stay unphased in front of your pouts.

“Don’t be, everyone’s nice ! You’ll see.”, you start, a hand readjusting your dress. “It might be more of a fancy gathering but, it’s just for show.” Without thinking twice, your hand lands on his thigh, softly patting his clothed leg order to reassure him. Jaehyun understand the meaning of guilty pleasures at this very moment. He doesn’t chase your hand away, he lets your touch slowly fade away, he loves the tingle it lets behind, the way it has his eyes widening. But, somewhere not so deep in his mind, he’s screaming at himself. He barely has two weeks left here. He knows, he knows you may be one of his soulmates, if not the only. He knows he might not meat you in another life, he knows it isn’t fair the let you all alone after this. He doesn’t even need to wonder if you feel it too, he knows you do, he feels his fingertips tingle every now and then, a reassuring buzz whenever he’s right next to you. You feel it too, there’s no doubt. Especially when the car finally stops and Jaehyun doesn’t hesitate to step out of the vehicle, walking around to open your door. Your hand quickly finds his, you both act natural. He offers his arm, you easily let your hand rest in the crook of his elbow right after taking a better look at his outfit. You wonder if he got the suit especially made for him, it perfectly hugs his body. Not too tight, not too big. The deep blue shade compliments his light brown eyes and you wonder if he has some eyeshadow but can not really tell under the dim light.

The building privatized by your company is a cute one floor hall, small light hanging at the entrance and you notice they ditched the red carpet because of the rain. Some people are already there, most are from your company as the other as supposed to arrive a bit later. The decoration’s prettier than last year, you have to say and, you notice all the efforts made once you step in. Heels click on the ground, soft music plays as your colleagues speak together, you take Jaehyun by the arm to greet the boss he never met.

The gathering’s a blur for Jaehyun, his mind’s busy with much, much more important things. He knows he can contact his brothers whenever he feels the overwhelming need and ramble. But, it feels like he’ll have to go through this multiple hours long party with a polite smile on his face before even thinking about going home. The Cupid’s pushed and pulled from his thoughts, on and off. Jaehyun falls deep in his thoughts when he’s left alone but, gets abruptly brought back to the surface when you bring other colleagues he doesn’t know yet and people from other companies. It’s a shame, he knows he’d enjoy the gathering in another situation. It’s a bit like the parties up in Olympus, with a bit more choice when it comes to drinks and music and at least, here, he doesn’t have to worry about getting on a God or Goddess’s wrong side by pure accident. You seem to be enjoying yourself too, the brunette sees you joking a bit around with some people he already forgot the name of, enjoying the food and drink they’re serving you in plates. Jaehyun wouldn’t admit it, whenever he judges someone is being a bit too close to you, an unknown feeling sparks in his chest, one that wants everyone to know you’re his soulmate. Is it jealousy ? The brunette never knew he was capable of such a raw feeling. It’s a weird situation for the poor thing. He’s aware of your status and yet, he does not know what to do. He’s lost in this party full of people, this party where men and woman both don’t hesitate to look at him up and down, silently gushing at his features, it seems the Cupid forgot he wasn’t invisible here. At some point, the tune changes to something Jaehyun would recognize as classical music, though he isn’t an expert on human music yet. His company’s boss he met moments prior steps in the middle of the hall and a crowd forms around them and, that’s when the Cupid understands they’re about to dance. Yet another thing similar to Olympus’ parties, slower dances aren’t uncommon and he quickly understands the pattern of steps.

He has to say, the brunette’s quite enjoying the view, especially when more and more people decide to step in the circle. Though, the Cupid definitely does not expect it when you step right in front of him, small smile tugging at your lips. He notices your lipstick’s fading a little bit, surely because of the drinks you had but, he quickly looks away.

“Do you dance ?”, you ask, arching an eyebrow with a hand stretched out. It almost makes the brunette laugh, you definitely do not need his help to make a move. He also almost says he doesn’t but, his hand touches yours before he can even comprehend what he is doing. Biting down on your lower lip, you quickly pull the brunette towards one side of the circle, slowly dissolving as everyone finds a partner to dance with as well.

“I learned when I was a teen.”, the Cupid simply hums when you look up at him with semi-impressed eyes the second he perfectly follows the steps of the slow dance. Is there anything he can not do, you wonder for a moment. Maybe he has some issues picking up on hints. One hand in his, the other curling behind his back and resting on his shoulder, it feels right when his hand rests in the middle of your back, subtly arching your back. It is at this very moment that Jaehyun understands the light tingle in his fingertips’ addictive, he likes keeping you close a bit too much and, for a split second, wonders how your curves would feel under his hands.

“What can’t you do ?”, you ask, teasing him a bit. There’s the same butterflies blooming in your stomach the moment he giggles softly, eyes rolling up as he dramatically acts like he’s thinking really hard. “I can’t juggle.”, the brunette says after thinking for some long seconds, though he keeps swinging you softly at the same time.

“You can’t ?”, you fake shock, lips parted. “You shouldn’t tell that to anyone, ever. That’s a shame.”, you tell him and, he pouts. Fuck, how can he look so good and cute at the same time ? For a second, you think about kissing the pout away, eyes travelling down to his pink lips.

Isn’t it crazy ? How weeks before, you felt like you had used all your shots at love and now, this men comes into your life and crashes everything. Jaehyun does not know it, but you’re overthinking as much as he is. Finally, the song end and yet, the Cupid’s hand stays lingering on your back, a gesture that makes you softly smile.

“You’re having a lot of success, here.”, you tell him once he stops in front of the buffet again, it seems he has a good view on the entire hall here. There’s a flew glasses left and, you take one.

“Hm ? Success ?”, he asks, himself taking a drink. You laugh a bit at that, you wonder if Jaehyun’s really that clueless about his looks. Unbeknownst to him, the same feeling sparks in your chest when you notice a small group of ladies from another company looking over at where your friend was standing. Though, unlike the brunette, you know what this is, jealousy.

“Hm hm, saw a bunch of people looking at you.”, you tell him, shamelessly stepping next to him and leaning against the table, if some didn’t know you and him walked in this party together, you made sure they knew now. There’s a small laugh coming from Jaehyun, though you find it isn’t as bright as it usually is. Something seems off, but you don’t dare ask him right now, in the middle of the hall.

“Same for you.”, he says before bringing the glass to his mouth, a hum coming out of his lips when the liquid coats his taste buds. There’s a small sense of pride blooming in your chest, does this mean he looked at you ? Noticed other people were too ? Did he get jealous too, you wonder. “What is this ?”, he asks, eyeing the golden liquid, brushing the conversation.

“Champagne ?”, you inform him with a little giggle, an eyebrow arched. You were sure he already tasted champagne for someone who knew so much about wine. Lets just say you two sometimes slack a bit during working hours and talk about other…unrelated things. “You never had it ?”, you ask, a bit curious. You have to say, Jaehyun himself is a curious personage, a mysterious character. It might be one of the many things that struck you when you met him, along side his personality, his deep voice and dimples. He knows a lot, it seems like he saw and experienced a lot too. Sometimes, he sounds like a Disney character, like he has a lot to show you but, you might be able to show him a lot as well, like he might just be the one you’ve been waiting for.

“Nope, but I like it.”, he concludes, quickly finishing the liquid, he decides Olympus’ lacking when it comes to drinks too. He’s about to add something, continue the conversation so he doesn’t have to overthink again but, as he’s about to ask for the song playing in the hall, his mouth stays agape. It can’t be, it can not. Somewhere far, almost in the very middle of the hall, a men stands in his light grey suit. He did not see him before, he doesn’t know where he came from. Jaehyun wonders if his mind’s tricking him, if he’s hallucinating, he knows some stuff on Earth can have this affect but definitely not Champagne. Short brown hair parted in the middle, slender and tall body, the last time the Cupid saw him, he had locks falling to his shoulder. Jaehyun wished the world could stop right at this moment, just so he could walk up to the men and detail his features, Jeonghan’s. His old tutor’s. His heart tightens, another weird feeling the brunette isn’t used to. He pushes the thought aside but, the more he stays here, the more Jaehyun feels human. Could it be him ? It’s been five years, he thinks to himself, can a Cupid reincarnate with the same body ? Do Cupids magically spawn on Earth at the same age they left Olympus ? Ah, for someone who wanted to strop overthinking, Jaehyun thinks he might overwork his brain at this very moment. But as he said when Jeonghan left, he’d recognize him in seconds, even on the blue planet. The way he speaks with a hand illustrating each of his word, a foot always in front like he wants to punctuate his slim, long body. The way he carries himself, head high, smile knowing, the way his eyes spark with malice.

“Jaehyun ?”, you ask, worried. You wonder at this very moment if he can support alcohol or, if he has a problem with big crowds. Whatever the case, your hand wraps around his wrist and you consider calling a cab for the both of you.

“Yeah- Yes, sorry. I though I saw someone I knew.”, he breathes out, though his eyes never leave Jeonghan, or Jeonghan’s doppelganger. “Yeah, you look like you saw a ghost.”, you mumble out, though you’re relieved when the brunette accepts the glass of water you offer him and laughs a bit, the sound resonating in the plastic cup. Ghost don’t look like that, the Cupid thinks to himself.

“Do you know Mr. Yoon ?”, you ask and, if he says yes, you wouldn’t even be surprised. As said, Jaehyun is a mysterious man you’d like to know more. “Let’s see him !” Poor thing, you barely give him a second to answer and almost drag him towards Mr. Yoon with a wide smile.

“Mr. Yoon ! Hi, I didn’t even see you come in.”, you greet the older men with a warm smile, Jaehyun isn’t aware yet but, you and him have a tight history together and, you respect the men greatly. “This is Jung Jaehyun, the new employee I’ve been looking over.”, you inform him, proud. The brunette’s heart might stop at this very moment, he made an effort to close his mouth but he doesn’t know if his eyes are still as wide, especially when the so called Mr. Yoon stretches a hand out with a smile. He knows it so well and yet.

“Oh, I see the student became teacher.”, same voice. Mr. Yoon smiles at you and it’s at this very moment that Jaehyun understand. When Jeonghan was his tutor on Olympus, he – or his look alike -, became your art tutor on Earth ? Jaehyun thinks he might go crazy, he has so many questions colliding against each other in his mind. Nonetheless, he politely shakes the men’s hand.

“Yeah, but I’m sure I’m not as good as a tutor as you were.”, you laugh a bit. Mr. Yoon slides a hand in his pocket, head tilting to the side as he details Jaehyun’s face, who’s trying his best to look unphased and professional. The same sharp eyes that looked over him for so long, Jaehyun would go as far as saying he’s the only paternal figure he’s ever had.

“Do I know you from somewhere ?”

This city never sleeps, it’s a known fact. It’s around one, maybe one and a half in the morning when you and Jaehyun decide to leave the gathering after saying good bye to as much people as possible. You could’ve taken a car but, the brunette proposes to walk you home and there’s no way you’ll refuse. The summer night’s warm, fresh breeze moving some leaves every now and then. Clubs are at their picks, neon flashing in every streets, different music mixing together. The streets are packed with citizens and travelers, some a bottle in hand, you even see a few groups dancing to mainstream music. The walk is a quick one, moving through crowded main streets. The Cupid sometimes look like a curious puppy, he always saw these things from above. Finally, streets grow less full when you enter the more residential side, near your home. There, the wind gets fierce and, the brunette doesn’t hesitate a second and takes his jacket off, draping the thick fabric of his suit over your naked shoulders.

“Did you have fun ?”, you ask a bit before spotting the street to your building, head lolling forwards at you check the state of your shoes. Jaehyun hums at your side, hands in his pocket. “I did ! I didn’t expect to meet so many people, though.”, he tells you and you laugh a bit at that, you remember being even more intimated for your first gathering.

“There’s more people each year. The first time, I dropped a glass full of punch on my dress.”, you tell the brunette with a sigh. You know everyone remembers it but thankfully, no one brought it up expect for one person. “Mr. Yoon made fun of me for like, three months.”

Mr. Yoon, here’s another thing bothering Jaehyun tonight. The same appearance, same voice, same attitude. The Cupid wonders if your old tutor’s indeed his old teacher as well. He can not help ask himself, especially when he noticed the men’s knowing when he left with you. The Cupid wonders if he should bring it up to his brothers tonight but, his thoughts are quickly cut when you point a building with a digit, probably where you live.

Oblivious to his thoughts, you step up the few stairs to the class door of your building, fishing in your small bag for your keys. What a convenient little thing, cute and able to hold your phone and keys, you find them in seconds. “Mr. Yoon seems really nice.”, is the only thing Jaehyun seems to find but thankfully, you don’t pick up on his tone. Using one of the keys, you open the thick glass door and lean against the frame, you’re not really ready to say good bye. There’s an adoring smile stretching your lips, it’s clear you hold Mr. Yoon close to your heart. “He is, I’m sure the two of you would get along.”, you breathe out and, it seems your brain isn’t completely on the subject. As Jaehyun climbs the step of your building, your eyes wonder on his figure for the nth time tonight. The sent of his cologne cocoons around you, it’s floral and strong at the same time, the heat and comfort of his suit’s jacket doesn’t help your heart beat. His white button up perfectly hugs his body, it’s tight around his arms, belt around his small waist. There’s a smile that tugs his lips and that’s when you understand he just said something you completely missed. Nice.

“I’m sorry, what did you say ? I’m a bit tired.”, you fake a yawn and Jaehyun steps closer, shoulder leaning against the second closed door. Obviously, he is tired too. His eyes are half closed, arms closed and he unconsciously leans forward. “I said, you look really good in that dress.”, he whispers out, like he’s scared he’ll wake your neighbors up. A pool of heat creeps to your cheeks but, you don’t break the eye contact the men installed. You wonder if you’re going too fast at this very moment, if you shouldn’t wait a bit more but, something pulls you in. It feels like the brunette might slip away at any moment now and so, you take a step closer.

You think about answering him first but, words seem to disappear from your memory when he doesn’t budge nor take a step back. It’s a sign, isn’t it ? You wish the brunette was not so complicated. It’s something you do by pure pulsion, instinct, without thinking twice. Your heels help you reach his face, a hand anchors itself with his collar and you bring him closer. Jaehyun is not clueless, he knows what’s happening and yet, he does not step away. Rather, he comes closer, closer, closer until finally. Finally, your lip softly meet his. It’s like kissing petals, soft and fragile. The brunette kissed a few deities before, more or less important and yet, he’s now kissing you like you’re the highest of them all. His hand cups your cheek lovingly, a shiver runs down your spine and his. So this, this is what it feels like, to kiss your soulmate ? There’s something familiar about it to Jaehyun, he wonders for a second time if he found you in another life. On the other hand, you melt easily into the kiss, pecking his pink lips with a breathy, dumbfounded laugh. You know it, if something was missing with your coach, with Myungdae, you’re sure Jaehyun has it, if not more to offer. You’re slightly out of breath when he pulls out, and he smiles down at you. Right then and right there, in front of your apartment building, you’re convinced he feels the same way. No words are spoken expect for a soft “Good night.”, when your door bips annoyingly but you don’t even pay attention. That night, you walk up the stairs to your apartment with a giddy smile, one you won’t get rid off until you fall asleep. Jaehyun, him, has the same smile. The same butterflies in his stomach. It’s crazy how someone can take over your thoughts, he doesn’t even think about the consequences of his actions, he doesn’t even think about the future. Next, what’s next ? The brunette doesn’t even worry about that, until he steps into his own home and he spots it. The little gold note on his table, name written on it in black ink. He already knows what it is. A request to come back to Olympus.

Asia’s Cupid has a lump in his throat the moment he accepts the request and, the soft golden cloud wraps around him like a duvet. Eyes closed, it takes a second for his body to materialize on Olympus again.

It grows the moment he steps foot on the higher ground again, after more than three weeks. Nothing has changed on the cloud above, except for Taeyong’s expression when he finally sees his brother again.

The brunette knows Olympus like the back of his hand but this might be one of his favorite areas. Five years ago, it’s in this very place him and his six brothers shot the white arrows after their ceremony. At the very border of Olympus, tall pillars and half destroyed statues, benches and rocks from previous fights between creatures that happened long ago, it’s always calm here nowadays. If Jaehyun steps a bit closer towards the sharp edge, and looks down, he’d see right above the clouds and the blue planet he now adores more than anything.

Taeyong waits for him under one of the biggest weeping willows, arms stretching to embrace his brother when he’s just close enough.

Taeyong might be a more serious Cupid, his features always soften whenever he sees one of the six other Cupids after a long time. This time, he looks worried still. Red, bushy eyebrows frown in front of his piercing eyes, it almost has the power to take the brunette back. It’s weird, to see him all alone, waiting for Jaehyun in a secluded area. Jaehyun wonders for a moment if something happened while he wasn’t there, if one of them got into a fight with a major God, if Jungwoo didn’t manage to take Jaehyun’s place. His thoughts are gone in a second, this is about him. He wonders if he knows, if they know. The Cupid wonders if Taeyong happened to be looking over him, he promised he would, after all. Jaehyun knows, he knows kissing a human during a mission is not something he’s supposed to do, he knows the unspoken rules of Cupids.

Jaehyun hugs his brother silently, like the both know things won’t be the same after this very conversation. “That’s a change in style.”, Taeyong lets out with a breathy laugh, an attempt to make things less serious before he gestures towards a bench under the tree. Jaehyun laughs a bit at that, he sure looks like a human lots in Olympus. The brunette sits on the cold marble, fingertips running on the smooth surface. “I know why you called me.”, Asia's Cupid look down for a moment, shoes kicking the almost white sand.

He thinks Taeyong might grown, scowl him, scream even. He'd understand it, he would but, the red haired's next move is one the brunette did not even think about. Ring hugged digits carefully lay on his own. It's a reassuring gesture, one Jaehyun looks at with eyes slightly watering. Poor thing, there are emotions he suppressed, they rush and crash over him at once and his head lols backwards.

“We told you not to get too attached.”, Taeyong softly says, crossing his arms over his chest. There's a tone the brunette can't really pick up on, at least it isn't disappointment. He tried to, Asia's Cupid thinks to himself. He tried not to get attached but he couldn't resist. Even if he tried to act like the most arrogant, detached person, he couldn't build a wall strong enough for you.

“I tried to, I—. I really did.”, he starts. Words block in his throat, he looks to the side, desperately trying to get his brother's eyes. When the red haired easily finds his pupils, it's like words flow out of his mouth. “She's my soul mate.”

Finally, finally he says it out loud. It's at this very moment, in front of Europe's Cupid that he lets it out in the world. There's so many questions, questions he passes onto the red haired. Jaehyun does not even know, he didn't know it was possible for him to have a soulmate and meet them. Taeyong doesn't even freeze, he simply hums, thinking to himself as his eyes wonder towards the horizon.

“I've heard stories like that.”, he starts, and Taeyong laughs to himself for a second. “I knew something like that would happen to you, eventually.”

“Stories ?”, Jaehyun asks.

“Hm. Stories where Cupids fell in love with a human. I heard a story through the grapevines once, about a Cupid finding his soulmate on Earth.”, there's a spark of hope in Jaehyun's chest. So he isn't the only one, it happened before. The brunette scoots closer to his friend, though Taeyong's eyes stay on the horizon for a moment.

“Sometimes, love doesn't need an arrow.”, he continues. Jaehyun's heart pumps faster at that, he thinks he might cry at this very moment, he doesn't even know why. “Some loves are faster, stronger.” If a love greater than his arrows, the Cupid can barely wrap his mind around it and yet, it doesn't seem to bother the red haired. His tone changes slightly, he gets more serious, this time he makes sure to look his brother in the eye.

“The stories I've been told never end well.”, Jaehyun knows it, Taeyong's only worried for him and his well being but he can't help and wonder. Isn't a love greater than Cupids' arrows worth living ?

“What happened to them ?”, asks Jaehyun but his brother only shrugs, that he doesn't know. “I don't know what to do.”, his voice's strangled as he confesses. He really doesn't. He quickly fell in love with the blue planet and everything it holds, the feeling how having people you don't know, strangers looking at you is a weird one he's starting to like. There's so, so many things he has to learn down, the thought only gets Jaehyun excited, a feeling he hasn't felt for a while. And then, then there's you. Jaehyun thinks he couldn't ever forgive himself if he ever lets you go. The Cupid won't ever forgive himself if he leaves you all alone. On one side, he has the chance of knowing and being aware of your bound, what if in his next life, you don't meet ?

And then, there's Olympus. All these thoughts and Jaehyun doesn't even know if he is allowed to leave his duties so abruptly, maybe they won't even let him go. And then, Jaehyun has his brothers. Six boys he, a few weeks ago, never thought he'd leave and there he is, wondering if he could live without them.

“It's your call. I can not tell you what to do.”, Taeyong's tone is a comprehensive one. Thought he isn't in his brother's situation, he sure can try and put himself in his shoes.

Staying with his brothers or starting over on Earth. No matter the possibility and outcome, it tugs at the brunette's Earth.

“This isn't a decision to take in minutes, or hours, even.”, the red haired says softly. And he's right. Like he's able to read his brother's mind, Jaehyun's twisting his brain in every way he can to find a solution, something that won't end up in heartbreak. A hand sneaks on his brown locks, a gesture Taeyong has whenever one of his brother's feeling sick.

“Take a few days, hm ?”, and Jaehyun nods. A few days to think, a few days for himself.

Saturday, there’s a lump in your throat too. A ball that expends inside of you, it tightens around your neck and it creeps deeper, deeper into your heart. Poisonous roots pierce into your muscle and twist at your guts until you need to curl on yourself to feel better, you think you might puke and stop breathing at the same time. Poor thing, you wonder how can Jaehyun have so much power over you, how his lack of response physically affects you. The gathering happened days ago, the kiss happened three day prior and yet, you don’t have any news from Jaehyun. None, not a phone call, not even a text, nothing. He disappeared into the night the moment he left you in front of your building. You at first texted him after you took a shower, changed into your pyjamas and removed all your makeup, resting in the comfort of your bed. A simple one, thanking him for the night and telling him you hoped he had fun, only hinting the slightest bit at the kiss, a giddy smile at his name on your screen. He did not answer. He didn’t even open the message. You brushed it off and went to sleep but, the afternoon after, something felt off. The rose glass was still in front of your eyes. It didn’t take long to shatter and fall down. If you knew, if you were aware of Jaehyun being your soulmate, you’d understand your connection runs deeper, you’d understand why your body seems to suffer as much as your mind. His anxiety and doubts manage to linger on your mind like a bitter aftertaste in the morning. It’s weird. You’ve been ghosted and ghosted people yourself at times, when you did not feel like having a deeper conversation or having another date. But this, this felt different, like there was another reason behind it, something you did not know yet. And again, he couldn’t really ghost you when he was your neighbor in your workplace.

Or could he ? You did not text him the day after the gathering but, on Friday, when he didn’t show up to work, you couldn’t help but think you screwed up. Thoughts kept you away from working, you wondered if he was okay, if you went too far. It was weird, it really felt like he wanted it too ? He didn’t take a step back, he even moved closer. He didn’t push back, he kissed back. And, when he left, he smiled like everything was more than fine, like you could expect more from him. Maybe he had a few more drinks than you thought and regretted it after but, you have to say, you thought Jaehyun was the type of guy to make things clear rather than disappearing all at once. Some, - maybe disappointment – creeped up in your chest at some point, a mix of emotions you now couldn’t comprehend.

Something does not feel right when they tell you he called in sick. You debate sending him another text and, after your second coffee break, you convince yourself you’re just acting like a friend. You ask him if he’s okay, you wonder again if you did something wrong but don’t mention it, a bubble of anxiety growing in your stomach. And again, he does not answer, you wonder if he even receives it.

Confusion and a sort of sadness suddenly changes into anger the moment Sooyoung visits you. Needless to say, you kept her updated on everything and on the third day of pure silence, she couldn’t keep it together. God bless her, she cancelled her plans with her crush – and soon to be boyfriend – to be with you. The red-haired’s like your very own emotion compass, validating your feelings you bottled up for days on end.

“I don’t- I just don’t get it.”, you let out for the nth time this evening, bringing your cold bottle of coke in the air. For the first time in a while, your friend stays dumbfounded, body ungracefully sat on your coach. Your friend had bought some things to eat and drink, though you could only find the force to indulge liquid.

“And it’s not like he wasn’t interested either !”, ah, Sooyoung’s the little voice in your mind. You vigorously nod at that, it’s clear your friend turns her brain again and again to find a reason, much like you are. You’ve been at it for hours now, ranting on and off, forcing your throat dry, babbling and tripping over yours words. It feels good, though, to have someone to rant to.

“Right ! He- It’s clear he wanted it too !”, you whine out and harshly let your body fall right next to your friend. Anger bubbles in your chest and your body’s first reaction to that is simple : water collects at the corner of your eyes. It’s unfair, it really is. Finishing the soda, you blur out something you didn’t think you’d tell her.

“I thought he could be the one.”, you abruptly say, so quickly Sooyoung has to process the words at a lesser speed. Head low, you play with the cold bottle between your hands.

Soonyoung loves you dearly, she really does. Many times, she thought of you as a soulmate in a friend and, it obviously hurts for the red haired to see you in such a state. Her hand rests right behind your head, fingers lacing in your locks. It’s a reassuring gesture while she finds her words, guiding your head towards her shoulder.

“Maybe he needs time to think. I know ignoring isn’t the right thing to do but, maybe he has a lot of things going on ?”

Sooyoung couldn’t be more right. If Jaehyun heard what she told you, she would’ve become his second favorite red-haired person. Poor Cupid has so much going on, too much to deal with. For days, his mind tried and tried again to find a solution, something where everyone would be happy. Poor thing doesn’t want to hurt everyone but, Jaehyun soon finds out things aren’t that easy, they never are. The brunette even thinks about spending a week on Olympus and a week on Earth but, he knows it would only be unfair for everyone. He cannot act like his brothers aren’t already overworked, like it wouldn’t be unfair to you to see him on and off without ever knowing why. A permanent headache clouds his mind and eventually, on Sunday, all he can think about is you. You’re all he can think about, all his thoughts go back to, all it revolves around. What are you doing, how are you feeling ? Are you mad at him ? The Cupid feels bad for leaving you like this but, he’d rather be sure of himself before speaking to you again. Jaehyun spends sleepless nights gazing out his window, he wonders again what his past like was like, if you were in his. And again, the thought of not having you in the next snaps the string of his heart. One night, as he gazes over the calm street next to his building, he even catches a couple having what the brunette thinks is their first kiss. Soft summer breeze as they step out of the cinema, they both stand awkwardly in front of each other as a car stops in front of them. Sweet, innocent love. The Cupid envies them.

Eventually, finally, it’s in the early Monday morning that the brunette finally understands. It’s around five in the morning, sun slowly rising over the city that doesn’t sleep, orange hue coloring the pale blue sky. Jaehyun took the bad habit of sleeping too late, lost eyes wondering outside as his brain never stopped.

The brunette finally understands. Him and humans aren’t so different, much like them, he needs a little heartbreak to move on. Which one would he rather experience, between the heart ache of never seeing you or never seeing his brothers, the brunette thinks he might know the one he’ll chose if he has to.

One thing he knows for sure, as he understands he only has a week left on the blue planet, he wants to be with you, next to you, more than anything else. You might refuse to see him, scream at him, - hell -, even slap him, Jaehyun doesn’t really care. He really doesn’t, he doesn’t either when his hand curls into a fist right before knocking on your door. He has to thank one of your neighbor for letting the door open, without checking twice and, his good memory when he checks for your last name.

Even if he slept all day, the slight dark circles under his eyes are there? Brown locks wavy from the lack of care, he wishes he did something more to his appearance the moment you open your door and, he swears to all the Gods and Goddesses above. It’s clear you just came back from work, hair matching his, sleeves of your white button up rolled up.

The moment he sees you, his thinks his heart might drop. Your initial shock, lips parted and raised eyebrow swiftly twist into an angry stare. Eyebrows furrowed, fading lips a straight line, you take a second to speak up. “What are you doing here ?”, you ask harshly. You almost fear it’ll come out like a whisper but, you stand your grounds. The surprise, confusion and anger you expressed bubbles up in your chest, you can’t believe he’d show up like this, out of the blue. But again, isn’t it better than just texting you like nothing happened ? You turn your back anyways, walking towards your leaving room in a hurry. Nonetheless, you don’t close your door in the brunette’s face, letting the opportunity open for the Cupid to take. And take it, he does. His usually calm behavior suddenly disappears, he quickly steps into your apartment, doesn’t even have a second to look at your home before chasing you blindly.

“I can explain.”, is the first thing he lets out in a blur. A white lie, Jaehyun can not explain everything yet, he fears you’ll run away, he knows it will be too much anyways. But, don’t get him wrong, he wishes he could. To that, you abruptly turn around, and there it is again, the lump in your throat. Can he explain ? You wonder, there so many unsaid things. Does he know why you’re mad, is he aware of what you’re feeling ? You almost want to blow up on him at this very moment but, decide against him when you notice the dark circles under his pretty brown eyes.

“Why didn’t you answer ? D-Did I do something wrong ?”, the crack in your voice you desperately tried to hide comes out when you least expect it, Jaehyun takes a step closer though, it’s clear he’s conflicted. He wants to touch you, hold you, so, so bad but he fears you’ll push him away.

“No ? No ! You didn’t.”, the Cupid gives in, his right hand lands on your shoulder the moment he’s close enough and he hates the way you look to the side. So many questions, you think now is the time to ask them, you’ve been sleeping on and with them for days now. God knows you do not want to sound harsh but the bitterness is clear in your voice. “It feels like you’re running away.”, you finally let out. The lump in your throat seems to disappear the moment you find the confidence to speak out. “Like you’re running away from…Me, what happened after the gathering.”

Poor Cupid sure is taken aback, he thought about all the things he wanted to say and yet, at this very moment, he can only open his mouth and close it again like a fish. “I am not, I swear I’m not. It’s just-.”

Maybe you should let him say his words but, you can’t stop the flow of words when the ball in your neck disappear, you don’t want to let the confidence slip away. Taking a step back, you desperately try not to get affected by Jaehyun. The way he looks at you, sorry puppy eyes, the way his bottom lip looks red and bruised from how long he bite on it. You refuse to let his sent and the cologne he seems to be imprinted in cloud your mind, you don’t want to let your body falls into the heat of his own, the one you’ve been craving for days.

“You feel it too. I know you do. I don’t know what it is, but. There’s something, between us.”, you start and, you’re almost shocked at the audacity you have. Jaehyun takes a sharp breathe at that, though he lets you finish your thoughts. “Don’t lie to me. Tell me you feel it too.”, there’s a small plea in your voice, Jaehyun can sense it, you’re hurt and he hates it.

He hates the fact you doubted his feelings. A hand runs in his messy brown locks, Jaehyun thoughts about everything he could say but, what he says next isn’t something he planned on. “I do. I was scared.”, and he was. He tells the truth and doesn’t make up lies, twist the reality to cover himself. At the end of it all, Jaehyun is scared, he’s terrified. He does not know what’s next, what awaits him eventually, in what position he’s putting you in.

You, on the other hand, slightly gets taken back by his quick honesty. Jaehyun takes a step forward and, you don’t flinch. The brunette ditches every long explanation he had, slightly shaky hands cupping your cheeks. If he held you like you were made of glass last week, he holds you like a bubble threatening to disappear at any moment, like an image out of his imagination. The Cupid holds you so he can melt his eyes into yours, trapping you in the chocolate, comforting hue.

It’s crazy, how his touch managed to calm your nerve down. Your shoulders flop down and you, for a moment, let your eyelids close halfway to appreciate the warmth. There’s a breath coming out of your lips, half exhausted, half calmed by his presence. But, your eyes fully close when he comes closer again, carefully. Jaehyun makes sure he isn’t crossing any border, he makes sure you don’t shy away from his touch.

“You overwhelm me.”, The Cupid traces on your lips.

Oh, to be loved by a Cupid, to be loved by Jaehyun. You quickly understand how intense it is.

This time, Jaehyun kisses you first. He fears he’ll lose the chance, he fears he won’t have a second chance. Plump lips softly press against your own and, when you process his actions, you finally give in. There’s a weight lifted up from your heart, he feels it too, that’s all you wanted to hear at this very moment. You finally acknowledge the hunger for his touch, for him. Fingertips softly trace over his sharp jaw and, the brunette easily gets it. Tilting his head to the side, the kiss grows deeper, and deeper. There’s no fight for dominance, just a harmonious dance, Jaehyun matches you and you match him. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”, the Cupid continues and, it feels like he has a lot more to say, he wants to make sure you know his reality. Voice deeper, chest irregularly moving up and down, he barely moves away. “I feel it too.”, he confirms again. The brunette will say it again if he needs to, he feels it too, he understands you, he knows.

You don’t answer, you’d rather show him. You chase after his lips, linking your arms around his neck just to bring him closer. “Don’t do that again.”, you half warn him before crashing your lips against Jaehyun’s again. The brunette quietly and breathlessly laughs at that, promising he won’t ever disappear like this. You discover more about him, tongue meeting his own for the very first time. He tastes sweet, something fruity lingers, probably the gum he was nervous chewing on before going to your home.

The Cupid’s hands get more curious as well, finding their place in the small of your back. Pink lips traces down your neck before placing a greedy kiss where your neck and shoulder meet. Such a simple touch, something you’ve felt before but, it’s different when it comes from the brunette. It’s crazy, the power he has on your body. Pearly teeth carefully catch the skin there and, you can not longer deny the heat that washes over you. It happens at once, the heat in the room seems a bit too much and your underwear gets uncomfortable.

Your hands creep up his chest, feel his body for the first time, you almost moan. Under your fingertips, even under the tick fabric of his white shirt, you can feel his muscles. Borders are blurry and, when your hands grip his collar, you hope you don’t cross anything.

Jaehyun wants to share your space, breath your air and yet, even if you’re the one walking him to your bedroom, he needs your verbal affirmation. “Are you sure ?”, Asia’s Cupid asks when he steps into your dimly lit bedroom.

It almost makes you laugh, giggle at his doe eyes contrasting with his wondering hands. You don’t care enough to turn the light off or even turn it on, your hands grip the middle of his shirt and you make his fit body follow you as you softly fall down on your bed. Jaehyun’s weak, he doesn’t even resist. Knees plant itself next to your hips, towering over you.

“’m sure, wanna drown in you.”, you confess right next to his ear. The brunette shivers at this, he hisses between pearly teeth. And, before he can even answer something, you tug a little bit more at his shirt. The Cupid easily gets the hint, grabbing the back of his top to take it off.

“Fuck.”, the curse slips out of your mouth before you can even process it. It’s ironic, you think he might be crafted by the Gods. You felt it under your fingers tips under the fabric but, his abs look marbled under the dim light of your bedroom. Every single one of Jaehyun’s nerves are on fire at this very moment. Digits work on the buttons of your shirt and, when you give him the green light, he does not hesitate.

His lips find the skin of your neck again, he pecks at the column of your throat and lets his tongue dip right between your collarbones. Jaehyun’s a messy lover, his kisses are long, he worships every new parcel of skin he discovers.

“Wait, let me help you.”, you breath out with a small laugh when the Cupid’s shaky hand sneak right behind your back. Arching your spine, you quickly undo your bra as the men finds your lips again. It’s thrown somewhere next to your bed soundlessly, Jaehyun’s mouth automatically wraps around your left nipple. Your fingers quickly sneak between his locks, nails softly gazing at the Cupid’s scalp. His tongue feels amazing on you, he coats your hard bud with saliva and doesn’t hesitate to softly catch it between his pearly teeth, pulling back.

“Jaehyun.”, you breath out when he turns his attention towards your second neglected bud but, you don’t care enough at this very moment. “Hm ?”, he hums against the skin right between your breasts, “So fucking pretty.”

As much as you enjoy all his attention, you don not think you can wait any longer. Your underwear’s too uncomfortable and you don’t think you can wait another five minute before completely, entirely feeling him. Unbeknownst to you, the brunette is as desperate. And so, when you beg for him to have you, right now, right next to his ear, he doesn’t think further.

Arms wrap around your waist, the brunette guides you to the middle of your bed. Everything happens quickly, then. Jaehyun helps you out of your skirt, you help him out of his jeans and boxers. The brunette doesn’t let you completely look at him for very long, but you have to say, the length of his shaft and the deep pink, wet by pre-cum head makes you mouth water. He hovers over you again after finding a condom in your bedside table. Jaehyun holds himself on his arms, on each side of your head but the slight weight of his body is comforting.

“So fucking wet, you’re dripping.”, Jaehyun almost hums to himself when he left two digits dip between your legs.

No words are spoken, expect for your verbal consent the moment the Cupid lines himself right in front of your wet folds. The tallest thinks he never felt more alive, you take his breath away, even more when his head pushes between your lips.

“Shit, so tight.”, he breathes out, slowly, inch by inch thrusting into your core. Like you were made for me, he almost says, but his words get caught in this throat the moment his last inch gets wrapped around you. His head falls in the crook of your neck, left hand resting on your waist.

It’s a slow, sensual pace you easily get used to, but the stretch of his cock doesn’t fade away. It’s a slight pain added to the pleasure, an addicting mixture you quickly grow addicted. You, on the other hand, don’t know where to touch, where to claw. You’re sure you’re leaving some deep marks on his back the moment the brunette almost entirely pulls out, right before slamming back in. Your own back arches at that, right hand grabbing onto his bicep.

It’s clear the Cupid enjoys the jolts of pain, hissing quietly whenever your nails create small croissant shapes on his pale skin. “Please, mark me.”, you beg breathlessly. Jaehyun might come at this very moment. It’s a possessive, primal, proud feeling that blooms in his chest when he understands. Mark you, mark you as his for everyone to see. The brunette hopes you’ll parade proudly with the purple petals he now creates against your throat.

“Mine.”, he groans against the skin of your neck, the words slips without him even thinking about it twice but, when you keen under it, he doesn’t hesitate to say it again, again and again on your lips. Mine, mine, mine. When your walls continuously clench around him, it’s almost too much for Asia’s Cupid. His composure crumbles down, it breaks down and his hips falter. Long gone is the sweet, soft pace he created for you, he chases his own orgasm and your own in deep, fast thrusts.

Uncoherent words tumble from your lips, Jaehyun conceals his own moans against your skin again, nose dipping into your hair. And, after a few thrusts that reach the deepest, you reach your high in a silent moan, Jaehyun’s lips kissing your tense forehead until he, himself, lets himself go. The broken moan he lets out as his seed spills in the condom might be the prettiest thing you’ve ever heard, you think in your daze.

There’s a comfortable silence broken by irregular breaths, Jaehyun’s brown eyes bore into yours the moment he understands what just happen. It’s even more comfortable when his strong arms wrap around your waist, his body falls into yours right before pulling you to his side.

“Holy shit.”, you let out after some minutes, a hand carefully lacing into the brunette’s locks. It hits you at this very moment too, a soft smile stretches your lips when Jaehyun hides his face in your chest.

“Yeah.”, he hums, keeping your body close. It seems he doesn’t have the energy to move too, you don’t blame him. “Can we stay like this ?”, he mumbles and, for a moment, you wonder what he’s talking about. Colleagues…with benefits ? The thought crosses your mind before you understands what his talking about. You’re so fucked out you barely registered the fact he’s still, in fact, in you. You clearly don’t mind, it still amazes you as well how perfectly he fits, even with his cock softening between your walls. “Not knowing where you begin…Where I end.”, he breathes out, letting out any thoughts his blurry mind creates.

There’s a small giggle from you and clearly, you agree to the proposition. It feels right, it feels domestic, intimate. Your arms finally wrap around his shoulders, chest against chest. You notice his hair smells like green apples and mint, he has little freckles here and there and soon enough, he’s sleeping peacefully in your arms. What a mysterious men, you think again. Thought this time, you smile to yourself, it seems he doesn’t mind opening up to you.

That night, Jaehyun finds he sleeps best in your arms.

“Jaehyun.”, you softly call out, stretching your muscles as best as you can. You have little room as the brunette’s arms are still firmly locked around your figure. It’s around eight in the morning and, by the way your phone’s beeping more and more loudly, you should be getting ready at this very moment. Though, you have to say, you’d much rather stay in your bed.

“Hm ?”, he hums, eyes still closed and, you wonder for a moment if he still remembers about work. You know he took a few days off but, he’s supposed to be back in office today, if you believe your manager.

The brunette clearly does not remember, you note when his lips peck right under your jaw.

“We’re going to be late.”, you whine and yet, your head rolls back enough for him to let his lips travel down your throat again. He adores on the bruises he left there the night before, slowly waking up. You have to say, he looks ethereal. The morning sun shines on his skin, the light bruises you left there contrasts against his epidermis, thin lashes batting up and down. Two deep dimples crave themselves in his cheeks when he looks up at your figure, rosy lips stretching at in a soft smile. Though an arm gives you a bit more space, the second one right under your body doesn’t let go.

He seems to remember about the night before slowly, low chuckle moving his chest. In fact, his cock’s still inside you. Condom discarded somewhere in the bin of your bathroom, Jaehyun easily fell asleep a second time after.

“Fuck, I forgot about that. I’m too tired.”, he confirms your doubt in his deep morning voice, one you weren’t ready for. It’s an octave lower, if that’s even possible and, it unconsciously makes you clench around him.

“About yesterday.”, Asia’s Cupid starts, using his hold on you to flip you on under him. It’s clear the brunette already loves having you like this. The small sound that comes from your lips when he does so makes him laugh again, eye still half closed. His right hand cups your cheek lovingly, a gesture you naturally lean on.

“Wanted to take you on a date first.”, he hums with a small pout, though it’s clear he isn’t unhappy with the outcome of the night before. Neither are you.

“I’m free this Friday.”, you tell him teasingly. Unbeknownst to you, Friday’s one of the last days he has on Earth. But, the slight movement of his hips doesn’t go unnoticed. Your eyes narrowed, giving the young men a look, fakely annoyed. You can feel him getting harder by the second, from the moment he flipped you over.

“Then, I’ll pick you up on Friday, after work ?”, he hums and you nod, a hand grabbing onto his bicep again when his moves get bolder.

“Jae’. We barely have an hour to get ready.”, you tell him. It’s half hearted, you both know you’d much rather let him have you a second time than go to work again but, you have projects to finish today and-.

“That should be enough.”, Jaehyun answers almost too quickly.

You find out saying no to Jaehyun is a hard thing. Correction, controlling yourself when Jaehyun looks like the purest incubus is hard. And so, when you bite down on your lower lip and look over at the time on your phone, the brunette already knows he won.

It’s easy when the Cupid already knows the route to your bathroom, when the two of you are already naked and riled up from the night before. Your legs lock on top of his hips and the cold water managed to wake you up at once. You slightly hit the brunette’s shoulder with a whine and his only answer’s to harshly push your back against the cold wall of your shower.

“I didn’t even brush my teeth.”, you whine out after Jaehyun plants the first hungry kiss of a few more, arms lazily resting on his shoulders. “I don’t care.”, the brunette groans out. And he clearly doesn’t, his hands firmly hold your thighs and his now hard shaft finds the same punishing rhythm he had the night before.

“Fuck, how are you already- Thought you were tired.”, you half mock, sentence cut short when he pushes into you deeper, harder.

“I’m not when it comes to fucking you.”, he confesses and, long gone are the street words he whispered out in your ear the night before. It’s like a switch being flipped, how last night’s slow thrusts turn into harsh, quick snaps. You don’t complain, though, not when he has you moaning in seconds. The water quickly turns hot, just the right temperature, droplets run down the brunette’s back, wetting his locks.

“God, you’re so good.”, you breathe out. Jaehyun’s intensely looking at you through his wet locks, agonizing smile stretching his lips. At this moment, the both of you know you’re already close. He brings you close, so close to your orgasm in minutes. Pride swells in the Cupid’s chest, he doesn’t let his pace falter and in fact, quickens.

“Fuck, keep clenching around me like that. You feel heavenly, baby.”, Jaehyun lets out, forehead resting against your shoulder. His lips find your skin again, pecking the droplets of water away as he feels you bending under his commands, clenching until he finds the right spot to hit again and again. You take minutes to come under his thrusts, head softly hitting the wall of your shoulder. Eyes closed, you see stars the moment he gives a particularly harsh snap of his hips and holds you there when he feels you coming around him, without any barrier.

The brunette’s breathless and, so are you. The background noise of the stream of water becomes white noise, senses hyper focusing on his small whines when you move your hips. He’s sensitive, so sensitive his groans turn into small whines.

Long gone’s the worry for your job and the time you have left when you let your feet touch the floor of you shower, slightly shaky, you drop to your knees in front of the men. The sight is enough for him to let out a sigh, looking up like he, himself, cannot believe he has someone like you in such a position. The brunette’s large hand easily find a purpose in your hair, gathering the locks until they’re out of your way. Finally, when you yesterday didn’t get a to detail Jaehyun’s cock, you can now have a better look. Hand wrapping around his shaft, the weight is pleasant, though you’re sure it’ll be even more on your tongue. Wet, he’s already leaking pre-cum, head a deep pink and you’re wondering how he can keep his composure when you let your tongue flat travel from the base to the tip.

“Fuck, Y/N. Thought we didn’t have much time ?”, he tease, twisting the narrative with a knowing smile. You look up at him with doe eyes, lips wrapping around his head and you suck lightly, enough to get a ripped moan from his pretty lips.

“You’re just impatient.”, you tell him, though you can’t help but take him in your mouth anyways. Indeed, the heavy weight and slight lingering taste of your juices makes you hum around him, vibrations that have him moaning lowly.

You manage to take most of his shaft in, hallowing your cheeks, using a hand to lazily stroke the rest but, after a few minutes, the men takes things in his hands. He definitely loves control. “Let me fuck your mouth.”, he mumbles out and, when you hungrily nod your head, his grip on your hair tightens. He keeps your mouth where he wants it and, slowly starts moving his hips.

It’s a harsh pace you silently indulge, his head hits the back of your throat a few times and it’s clear he’s close when he doesn’t even know how to form coherent words, hips harsher. His cock pulsates in your mouth and, when he takes it out without a warning, you almost whine and pout before understanding. His hand wraps around his base and you have to say, the sight is sinful. Body wet, face contouring with pleasure, he quickly pumps his dick in his head before he eventually comes in long strings. You, on the other hand, hungrily collect anything landing on your needy tongue.

Cleaning all you can, Jaehyun’s eyes stare for a while, he thinks he might get hard just because of that, when your fingers collect any remaining semen before popping them into your mouth.

“Fucking greedy slut.”, he groans out, almost in misbelief when his fingers hook under your jaw, forcing you up. You think he’ll clean the both of you there but, you surely don’t expect it when he abruptly turns you around, forcing your chest against the cold wall again.

“What are yo-.”, you start, but get abruptly cut by a moan you barely recognize. Jaehyun easily stuffs two fingers into your core. They definitely aren’t as big as his cock but, you’re sensitive, squirming around at his middle and fourth finger.

“Not letting you go until I make you come again.”, he mumbles again the skin of your shoulder and you stop moving around the moment his fingers scissor your around your walls and puts his free hand right next to your head.

“I c-can’t.”, you mumble out, and yet, your hips move back against his hips when he slows down.

“Take it.”, he commends, a tone in his voice you never heard and yet, you love it. It’s demanding and you let your forehead rest against the wet wall. His fingers are fast, lewd sounds drown in the water. There’s a low chuckle from the brunette when you threaten to come so quickly it would’ve been embarrassing with someone one. “Come on.”, he whispers out, a hand grabbing your head. He forces you to look at his, hungry lips crashing into your own. “You’re gonna get us late.”

The next days feel surreal for the brunette. He feels like a normal human, entirely, fully. Wednesday, dead of the night, Jaehyun might remember that night his entire life. He never had you in his bed and yet, it feels empty without your presence. The Cupid understands what not being with your soulmate feels like and, he doesn’t even want to know what it’d feel like to be in Olympus while you stay on the blue planet. He doesn’t, he can not even think about it. There, as Jaehyun mixes his overcooked noodles, all he can think about is having you on his coach waiting for him while he cooks. There, he takes his decision. Jaehyun wants everything you have to offer, he wants to share thoughts and secrets, share pointless and deep conversations, he wants to share comfortable silences and create new memories. He wants to create inside jokes he knows will make you laugh whenever he brings them up again.

There’s so much the Cupid wants to discover with you, from your favorite spots to your favorite food, the spots that make you weak and the ones that make you giggle. He wants to be here for your highs and lows, your big defeats and small victorious. He wants to be your favorite shoulder to cry on and the one you think about to celebrate. He wants you at your best just like he knows he can have you at your worst. Jaehyun wants you to love him just as much as he feels himself falling deep, deep for you.

Your texts make him smile and he doesn’t even hesitate to answer the minute he gets them. Your song, movie, show recommendations ? He notes them, listens and watches, gives a report whenever he can. He sends some back, he calls you when he cooks and can’t understand an instruction.

When he sleeps, Jaehyun dreams about you and all the things the two of you could have, you’re all he had think about and he does not complain, he’s infatuated, enamored, smitten, he learns a new word every day to express how captured he is.   And, on Wednesday night, as he falls asleep early for work, he has another flashback. Right between the lands of dream and reality, the border blurry. He sees the same girl with deep brown hair, setting unfamiliar. There’s a child he does not recognize and, when he wakes up, he realizes they both had your eyes.

It’s even better in real life. If the conversations used to flow naturally before, they hold something else now, a knowing flirt. Right between close friends and more, and dating. Firm glances are exchanged alongside some smiles here and there.

“Here !”, at this point, the brunette recognizes your voice by the second. He looks up at you with happy eyes in croissants. You have his favorite drink in your hand, peachy iced tea from a coffee shop down the street. “Ah, thank you so much.”, he pouts a little, the attention brings something that blooms on his chest.

“You’re welcome !”, you tell him, walking around to sit in your cubicle, next to him. Flopping on your seat, you quietly sip on your drink for a moment while scrolling and double checking your project, one you should be handing over tonight. “How’s your project going ?”, you ask him, leaning on the side. The small wall between the two of you is thin but, it does the job when it comes to blocking the view. Unfortunately.

“Almost, I should be done by the end of the week…Or next week.”, the brunette’s throat goes dry for a moment, when he mentions next week even if, even if he does not know if he’ll still be there by then. You obviously don’t notice it, humming at his computer screen. He told you he went to Paris for his art studies and you have to say, he sure has the level. Jaehyun is working on a more illustrative publicity campaign for some kids book and, for someone who just started, his propositions are great.  

“Oh, Jaehyun ! It looks great !”, you coo. “That’s really pretty.”, you tell him, catching your straw between your lips. Ice cubs hitting against each other, you shake your cup a little in order to get some blueberries at the very bottom.

“You’re pretty.”, the Cupid breathes a bit quietly, the two of you are still in your workplace and he doesn’t want to draw any unwanted attention from others by talking too loudly. Still sipping on your drink, you look up at the brunette with some surprised eyes before rolling them at him. “Smooth.”, you sarcasm, but smile at his attempt anyways.

“Right. Are you impressed ?”, Asia’s Cupid asks lowly and by now, you know this tone too well. Setting his pen aside, he leans aside too, meeting you halfway. If any of your colleagues looked over at this very moment, you’re sure they’d get the picture easily. His face’s too close to be anything friendly, his breath fans over your lips and you have to say, your eyes get lost in his. He holds eye contact and you don’t dare breaking it but, even in your slight daze, you’re still aware of the setting. You grudgingly pull back and let your back rest on your chair before heat burns your cheeks. There’s a chuckle from the brunette, one that rips a glare from Daeyong.

Do you enjoy it ? The slight anger flashing in front of his eyes and decomposition of his features when he understands ? Maybe, but you like Jaehyun’s smug smile when he gets it a lot more. If it looks like nothing more happens after, if it looks like Jaehyun works like a good employee after, you’d be very, very wrong. A hand stays firmly on your thigh, thumb stroking the covered skin of your leg. Jaehyun can not keep his hands to himself, he barely can. His eyes lower to your lips whenever he talks to you, whenever he catches you speaking with someone else. He stares for a bit too long at your figure and legs whenever you take a small break.

Can you blame him, though ? You’re almost as bad, drinking in the sight of his side profile whenever you doze off, detailing his hands when he adds the final touches to his project, unconsciously leaning closer.

Thank god, you and him manage to keep things calm until the end of the day. Until you gather all your files and documents, drop them in due time to your boss and finally, finally get a hold of your bag. Jaehyun waits for you like you usually did, walks you to the elevator and, when the brunette notices the emptiness of the elevator, he does not think twice. A finger quietly pushes at the “close doors” button and, when the grey metal doors slide in silence, he pushes you against the wall.

His free hand softly creeps up your neck, ring hugged digits wrap around your throat just enough for you to bend under his will and movements when he pushes you backwards. They’re cold against you skin, make goosebumps rise under them. “Jaehyun, wh-.”, the sound gets caught in your throat, knocked out of your lungs. The brunette does not even answers, he has a few floors for timing, he’d rather crash his lips against yours. He’s been thinking about it for hours, hitching to get closer to you. The kiss is bruising, his grip around your neck tightens until you whine at the gesture, hand flying to his brown locks. As you’ve found out, Jaehyun’s intense. He loves hard. Pearly teeth bite down on your lower lip, enough you know you’ll have a small bruise there and, his tongue softly smooths the abused spot before pushing the muscle between your awaiting lips.

It’s dangerous, how easily the Cupid puts you in a daze, a distorted reality where he’s the lighthouse in the fog. The taste of his peachy drink lingers on his muscle, on you teasingly suck on but, as he’s about to put his knee between your legs, a voice breaks the two of you apart.

“Floor zero !”

Jaehyun has lived next to and with Gods and Goddesses, has deities and other figures throwing themselves at him on Olympus. The brunette and his brothers have a halo of glamour and inaccessibility over them that has many gushing over them. He, at times, did fall under their charms, a pleasant experience for the both of them but never did the Cupid find it necessary to contact again, make it happen a second time. A one time thing he kept to himself, everyone knows how these things can turn into cruel revenges on the cloud up. But, Jaehyun always comes back to you. He has you tattooed under his skin, creeping and making a home for yourself in his heart, leaving an everlasting mark he’d proudly show off. With you, he has something else he did not have with other, a connection running deeper. He’s aware of it, he’s been for weeks. Simply said, Jaehyun understands quickly that physical contact with your soulmate is different. It feels different. After all, the brunette believes in the original soulmate myth, the very tale that depicts humans as one before they got separated. Reuniting as one is bound to be unlike any other thing he ever experienced. And so, Asia’s Cupid finds himself craving for you much more than he thought he would. It’s the thrill of the beginning, he thinks, but he finds himself sending a rather risqué text anyways. Thursday night, Jaehyun lays in his still made bed, typing and deleting. Should he ? Should he send this text ? It’s something the brunette never did before, it has the power to color his cheeks a soft pink.

What are you doing at this moment, in the dead of the night, he wonders. The Cupid never knew how vivid his mind was, he surprises himself when he easily pictures you in your bed, just like him. Fuck it, he thinks, and his thumb quickly presses the send button.

Ah, if Jaehyun has a vivid imagination, you have a good memory. Teasing words in a grey text bubble, it’s crazy how you manage to have his voice re-act it in your mind. What are you doing at this very moment ? Thinking about him but, you wouldn’t tell him right away. Two can play that game, he’s good at teasing and you are too.

The Cupid has to say, sexting is quiet fun. He finds himself typing things he would’ve said without an once of shame, he definitely did not expect his body to react so obediently to the words you say back. Soon enough, Jaehyun has his eyes glued to his screen, impatiently awaiting for your next words. Is it him or, is it getting too hot in his room ? Unbeknownst to Asia’s Cupid, he peels the fabric of his shirt off of his body just as you do so, getting rid of superficial clothes as texts get riskier, riskier. The brunette has your mouth parting at some of his crude words but, the gasp that leaves your mouth when Jaehyun sends a picture might wake your neighbors up.

Large hand wrapped around his veiny shaft, you stare at the picture for a bit too long. He’s hard, head a pink shade you don’t doubt is getting shades deeper by the moment. You can almost feel the weight on your tongue again but, when he starts typing again, you quickly snap a picture back.

Texts get sent hectically, not double checked, body kilometers away seems in sink, a single and common goal in mind. An orchestra in two different homes, your fingers don’t feel as good as his and, his around his cock doesn’t feel as good as your mouth. Dirty confessions are sent, he controls your pace from afar, telling you went to go faster and went to go slower.

In the middle of the night, you quietly come with each other in mind.

Tic, tac.

Friday. Times flies much quicker on the blue planet, Jaehyun knows it and yet, when he understands that he barely has three days left, he panics. He has much, so much to do. The brunette needs to get back to Olympus and he has too much to say, he pushed it away, wants to forget about it until the very last second. Tomorrow, I’ll do it tomorrow, he tells himself again and again. After the date, he tells himself.

The date, Jaehyun promised he’d come pick you up and, a few hours after work, he’s patiently waiting in front of your building. The car he was given at the beginning of his mission, he did not think he’d use but, here he is. It’s a pretty car, he has to say. A glossy black, a brand he read about once, his fingertips drum on the wheel. Poor thing is trying to push any thoughts of Olympus and his deadline aside and thankfully, he manages to the moment you step out of your building. You’re wearing something simple, but it isn’t your outfit Jaehyun is looking from afar. The sun shouldn’t set anytime soon but, the burning star’s less aggressive than it was earlier, leaving an orange hue on everything it touches.

It caresses your skin and makes it glow, soft breeze sending your locks aside like the second time he ever saw you. You give the brunette a small smile when you enter his car, you never knew he had such a nice vehicle and aren’t ashamed when you detail It with attention. Leather seats, tinted windows, it would’ve easily blended in during the other week’s gathering.

“Hi again.”, you tell him softly, slightly giddy at the thought of a date with the men.

“Hi.”, he answers, sweet smile tugging at his lips as he looks at you closely. At this moment, you finally notice he looks at you like you hold every star in your pupils, butterflies threatening to escape from your stomach.

The car ride is a calm one, but you sure appreciate the comfortable silence between the two of you. You sure are curious, Jaehyun never told you where he was taking you. The car passed by the building of your residential area, pretty buildings flash by until you get to the middle of the city, busier area alive as people get out of their house to eat with friends and family. The city’s lights aren’t on yet, but Seoul’s neon never die, they flash in the dim sunlight as Jaehyun’s car cuts through streets just to get away from it.

Tall buildings turn into small streets, less fancy buildings and, when you’re out of the city you look over at the brunette with a questioning look. “Where are we going ?”, you ask him as the playlist he made from songs you sent restarts. Cars get rare, grass grows abundantly at the sides of the road and you can barely see any building close enough to be a restaurant.

“You’ll see.”, he tells you with a knowing smile and, when he gestures ahead with his chin. And you see it. In the middle of an empty field, multicolor lights flash on and off. You see the big wheel just starting to slowly rotate and you can’t help the smile growing on your lips. Excitement bubbles in your chest, like a child going to Disneyland and you gasp softly when the car gets closer for you to detail the funfair even more.

You knew one was held a bit further from Seoul but, you thought you wouldn’t get the chance to go. You didn’t know when nor who drag with you, Sooyoung already had her almost boyfriend and all your friends were busy. “Are we ?”, you ask in misbelief, almost hopping on your seat.

“Yeah, I hope you didn’t go before-.”, he starts and you immediately cut him off. “No, no ! I wanted to go but didn’t have anyone to drag with me.”, you laugh out before pointing at all the rides you want to try.

“Good, I really wanted to take you here.”, he hums while parking his car nearby.

Jaehyun loves the idea of funfairs, he loves what he read about them and what he saw but this, being in the middle of the big metal structures and colorful light, he loves it. He buys a bunch of tickets and you, at some point, have to stop him. Poor thing doesn’t have the experience, he doesn’t know how many things he can do in one night. He’s a happy puppy in the middle of a lot of noise, he recognizes a few songs blasting on the speakers and he stays stuck in front of big cotton candies and candy apples. Everything smells sweet and Asia’s Cupid doesn’t know what he wants to taste first but decides against it when he remembers what else he prepared. Jaehyun uses all his tickets on you and lets you pick all the rides and games you want to play, he holds your hand when rides get too intense, locks sent away from the harsh breeze when the car rolls down a high hill. He laughs at you the moment you scream in the haunted house, he tells you ghost don’t look that friendly but he wraps an arm around you the moment he sees the pout on your lips. You might feel like a high school student the moment he tries to win you a random plush, you discover he’s pretty bad at throwing things or, the game is rigged. You feel even better when you end up winning a plush for Jaehyun.

“Do you want to do this one again ?”, Jaehyun hums, lips against your temple. He points at the first ride you went on. It was fun, went backwards at some point but you were too hungry to do anything else. Curling against his side, you move your head left to right. “I’m hungry. Do you want to eat ?”, you propose on buying him anything, knowing how he almost drooled in front of the stand.

“I already got us something.”, the Cupid informs, lips traveling to your cheek.

“Let me spoil you.”, you pout, looking up at the tallest. A small smile grows on his lips, eyes travelling to the stand where all the candies are displayed. Maybe he wants popcorns, but he already had them before. Cotton candy looks too sticky and sugary and, candy apples look way too good. Shiny coat on red apples, his choice is set. “Get me a candy apple, then.”

“What did you bring ?”, you ask curiously as the brunette brings you back to his car. By now, the sun started the set, your stomach rumbles and you wonder what exactly he has prepared when he opens the bot of his car. You have to say, you expected a generic date at a restaurant but this, this was much better. You’re sure Jaehyun would be able to make any date interesting but the way his eyes glittered with the lights and how he wasn’t scared to scream during rides truly made you understand how precious the men was.

“Picnic.”, he simply says, taking out a brown basket from his car. If your friends asked you, you think you’ll be able to pinpoint the very moment you truly fell in love with Jaehyun. He takes you by the hand and tells you he couldn’t find a hill high enough for the picnic, like a shy boy on a very first date. He swiftly pushes the back seat of his car down but takes his cute green picnic cloth nonetheless, placing it in his car.

“Ma’am.”, he says, voice sultry when he offers his hand. You fall in love the moment his digits slide between his, you use the support to climb onto his car.

You fall in love the moment he open his small basket and you see the sandwiches he prepared and how the only bought drinks you like and desserts he wanted to make you try. You fall in love the moment he takes out two pieces of the very cheesecake you love too much. His sandwiches have too much condiment and not enough salad, but you might let it slide when you catch the Cupid with some mayo at the corner of his mouth. Though, you have to say his chocolate cake is the nicest thing you’ve ever tasted.

You’re full and tasted everything Jaehyun bought for you when the night falls, bight lights of the fun fair still enlightening the field around. Conservation flows easily, as always and, you pick at a lose thread, half laying in his car.

“Do you believe in soulmates ?”, you at some point, ask. It visibly takes the Cupid back, he was sipping from the red plastic cup and stops at once. Tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth, he hums a little, or maybe he breathlessly laugh.

“I do.”, he simply says and, the both of you know nothing more needs to be said. Knowing smiles, hands brush against each other when the comfortable silence settles, and you help him clean everything.

“There, best for last.”, you tell him after Jaehyun puts anything empty in a nearby bin and everything else in his basket. You don’t know it yet but, this basket, this cloth, he bought them just for the occasion. Taking the candy apple from your bag, you unwrap it and hand it towards the brunette. And, instead of taking it into his own hand, Jaehyun softly leans closer to you, lowering his head before biting down on his apple. The hard, caramel coat cracks under his pearly teeth, humming when the mix taste of the sugar and the apple coast his tongue.

“Do you like it ?”, you ask, attention caught by the men’s lips, thin coat of sugar on the plum flesh. “Try it.”, he says after nodding, and you do so. Biting down on the apple, you laugh a little when you struggle to completely detach a piece of the fruit. “Hm, it’s good.”, you tell him, chewing on the small piece you stole. The brunette takes the stick into his own hands and happily eats the candy away.

“Thank you for today.”, you tell the Cupid after you’ve helped him push his backseat up again. Sat on the leather, Jaehyun leaning, body half outside as the door’s still open. Looking up at you after securing the seats, he smiles up at you proudly, he doesn’t tell you but he struggled to put everything together after all, he never went on one until now.

“I’m happy you liked it.”, he whispers out, laughs and screams from the funfair still hear from your spot. He leans a bit and, you take the chance in your hands to lean as well, quickly pecking his lips. He tastes just like the apple candy he ate a bit earlier, and the single peck you wanted turns into a second, a third. Jaehyun laughs a bit against your lips, breaking the exchange whenever he does. He definitely isn’t the only one who can not keep his hands to himself, he thinks when your hands wrap behind his neck.

“I loved it.”, you mouth against his plump lips. His body follows when you lean backwards, his knee planting itself in the leather seat of his car. The place’s small, his right hand grips into to top of the head rest so he doesn’t crush you but you still feel the light breeze.

“Close the door.”, you whine out and, when Jaehyun understands, his eyes morphs from a surprised look to a hungry, lustful one in seconds. As said, you’re like a switch in the brunette’s brain. You don’t have to tell him twice, the Cupid leans back to close his car’s door and swiftly gets back on top of you. The slight weight of his body’s familiar now, something you appreciate and sigh against his lips when he finds his place between your legs.

“Here ?”, he wants to make sure, though his full lips travel down your throat anyways. He knows the path by heart now, finding the spot right between your collarbones. “Don’t you want to go home first ?”

You’d almost laugh at how careful he is. A hand grip his hair hard enough that he sighs, bringing his face close to yours again. “Here. I don’t care.”, you reassure him and, Jaehyun does not need more.

“I can’t get enough of you.”, the brunette sighs against your skin, fingers quickly working on the buttons of your shirt. It’s quick, hectic, the place’s already close and it seems the need crashed over the both of you like trucks. Jaehyun lets your shirt fall open, hand cupping one of your breasts over your bra, lips leaving long, deep kisses from your collarbones to the line of your jeans. He looks at you then, doe eyes centimeters away from your core.

“Jae’.”, the nickname makes him sigh against the skin of your hip, digits working on his own shirt. “Fuck me, take me.”, you whisper out, almost desperately. If the brunette looked ethereal before, he looks utterly out of this world when his body hovers over yours. The car shelters you from the sounds of the fun fair but, the tinted windows do not block the colorful lights. Blue, red, violets, yellow, they dance on his milky skin, they contrast against the bruises you left on his epidermis and the healing scratches on his back.

If the light doesn’t manage to catch his face, they reflect on your features and has the Cupid staring for a bit too long, the way the blue light softly enlightens your cupid’s bow, the purple light adorns on your cheeks and the red color falls at the top of your eyebrow. They reflect in your irises, change at every blink.

“Shit, you’re breathtaking.”, he confesses against your mouth, pearly teeth biting down on your bottom lip before tugging softly at it. Hands work on the buttons of your jeans and, the heavy fabric gets lost in the small, closed place. It feels like just like the morning after, things are passionate and rushed, your own hands work on his pants but it’s clear the desperation is too high for more foreplay.

You’re thankful the car is set far enough you think no one will walk next to it, you’d be quiet ashamed if anyone hears you. There’s a high pitched gasp that tumbles from your lips when the Cupid presses his clothes hard on against your panties and uses an arm to help you sit up, on his lap. Your mouth finds his again, it’s all tongue and teeth, a string of saliva connects your tongues when you pull back and watch his expression change when you slowly grind against his shaft.

The blue light falls on his jaw, tightening the moment you roll your hips against his, head falling back against the head rest. His hand runs in his hand and stays at the top for a moment, enjoying you taking the control, green light accentuates the veins bulging around his digits. Soft sighs fall from his lips and you make a point when you don’t kiss him at this very moment, drinking in everyone of his sounds. You might need to thank the lack of light, you already know you’re leaving a wet spot on the men’s boxers. His hands help you find a pace, delicious friction against thin fabrics, you can make the outline of his cock but, you’d be even happier with his shaft buried in your walls.

It seems he has the same thought when the brunette swiftly moves in the small space again. Now behind you, he pushes your upper body against the seat, giving you a view of the funfair you two were in hours ago, where innocent kisses where exchanged. Your arms lay on top of the head rest and, you don’t hesitate to arch your back a little, pushing your bottom against the brunette’s crotch.

There’s an appreciative groan from him, Jaehyun’s hands are quick to help you out of your panties. You think he’ll do the same with his boxers but, when you feel his heavy breathe against your wet core, you understand he has other plans in head.

“Want to taste you so fucking bad.”, he mumbles against the skin of your thighs, lips leaving kisses everywhere but where you need it the most. You cry out desperately, unable to create words to express yourself. “Can’t hear you.”, he teases you, a single digit running between your wet folds.

“Please.”, your heart bumps so fast it resonates in your ears, your forehead falls against your arms and you speak up again. “Please, Jaehyun. Touch me, want your mouth.” And on cue, his tongue finally collects your juices on the pink muscle. He groans, it comes from his chest and sends vibrations against your core, mouthing against it. “God, you’re so sweet. Sweeter than candy apple.”, he sighs, tongue pushing deeper. The muscle easily pushes pass your lips and laps, switching between using his tongue and wrapping his lips around your clit.

You already the brunette was good with his mouth by the way he took your breath away at every kiss but, he has you moaning in seconds, his lips work wonders around you and you have to muffle your moans, mumbles and whines against your arm. Kitten licks and long stripes, he quickly brings you to the very edge. By now, Jaehyun knows the way your body works. He understands when your hips struggles between his grip, desperately trying to quickly chase your orgasm. You’re close, so close, the fear of staining his seats is long gone when you beg him to go faster but, when the bubble grows tighter and tighter, it suddenly bursts the moment he pulls away. It’s cruel, how your high fades away, it’s unsatisfying, almost makes tears pool at the corner of your eyes.

“Why did you-.”, you ask weakly, looking back at the brunette.

“I want you to come around me.”, he says, coming back at eye level. Light casts on his lips, shining from your essence.

“Fuck me, then.”, you taunt, and the devilish smile on his lips foreshadows what comes next. His boxer quickly gets thrown next to his pants. Heavy cock he slaps a few times against his palm, you hear the weight and almost salivate. But, you’ll have time for that after, you think. His free hand reaches for your bottom but, he underestimates his force and his palm slaps against your ass without a warning. The sound resonates in the car and quickly follows a ripped moan from your lips.

“Should’ve known.”, the brunette starts, fakely disappointed sigh coming from his lips. “Should’ve known you were into that.”, and he reiterates the act, palm harshly slapping against the skin. You whine at that, heat creeping into your cheeks. At each slap, he smooths the skin right after, softly rubbing at the flesh. It gets you even wetter and when you fear you’re going to drip all over his seats, Jaehyun brings his red head to your lips, collecting the translucid liquid.

Before you can even beg him again, he easily pushes the first inch between your walls, a sigh coming from the both of you. It still feels like the first time. Though, now he know exactly how you like it. A few inches in, the brunette doesn’t hesitate and rams in, in a swift motion. His hips pick up a punishing pace, it’s clear he chases both your orgasms. One hand rests on your hip while the other arches your back.

Skin slapping against skin, you try to muffle your moans against your arm but, Jaehyun doesn’t care. Deep groans, he doesn’t take your silence. His hand on your back creeps up, fingers lace in your hair and he abruptly yanks, pulling your back against his chest. No way to hide your moans, you whimper pathetically. His thrusts turn slow, deep, hard. Face next to your own, his second hand moves to your jaw, holding it tightly. You might have to wear concealer there, by the way his fingertips dig at your skin, lips mouthing against your cheek.

“Don’t hide from me. I want to hear you.”, he demands, and you bend under his wants. His name falls from your lips again and again, the fading orgasm he denied you moments prior comes running back and it isn’t long until your walls tighten around him.

He breathes, moans and whisper whatever comes into his mind into your ear, only for you to hear, it sends shivers down your spine and you know, you know it’ll stay forever engraved into your mind. How his low, deep, breathless voice muses at how good you feel around him, how slutty you are for him and only him. How you were made for each other and how he was fucking you like you deserved to be. Your moans turn silent, breathless and, Jaehyun understands you’re close before you do. He gives you the silent permission when one of his hands deep down, digits circling around your clit.

It takes seconds for you to fall apart, your walls tighten around him, grip him and you come in a ripped scream that might catch the attention, you don’t see. You don’t see because you have to close your eyes, tears threaten to fall and stars flicker in front of your eyelids, you’d fall forward if the brunette didn’t have such a tight grip on your body. He follows quickly behind, groans against your neck and spills in long, white strings. He fills you up and makes sure you feel it, slow movements of his hips. Breathing heavy, you hear him chuckle lowly at the pleasure. You whine out when he pulls out, suddenly empty but, your protest quickly gets cut when Jaehyun stuffs two of his fingers into your cunt. “Don’t waste anything.”, he hums, audibly tired. You gasp at the image when you look down, ring hugged digits coated in a layer of his and your own come, he slowly fucks it back in. It’s a thought he doesn’t voice, you tummy full of his come, the implications. He brushes it away, he’s thinking too quickly.

A single kiss is placed on your forehead as he helps you clean, “Let’s go home, love.”

Saturday, Jaehyun can not keep pushing. Second to last day, time flies quickly and the clock tics without a second to spare. His decision is made, it has been made for days now but, saying it out loud is much, much different. Short nails pick at the small piece of skin peeling at the corner, Jaehyun knows what he has to do. The television at his side plays some show he doesn’t, it’s white noise anyways while he walks back and forth in his small apartment. He started to love it, he got attached to it quickly. Needless to say, he got attached to you quickly, too.

It’s around four in the afternoon that he finally, finally uses his emergency card. Gold, small, it fits in his palm. Thin, it has Olympus written on it in cursive, white letters. He wondered if he should wear the clothes Cupids wear daily but, he decides against it, it’s symbolic, he’ll present himself with his new clothes.

There’s something twisting his guts, anxious and…Scared ? He knows, the brunette knows, he’s more human than he thinks. It’s when this exact thought crosses his mind that he opens the cards.

The same cloudy dust envelops his body, it blocks his view and, in seconds, he’s in Olympus. What happens next, will stay an unknown story for the mortals, a tale narrated from Cupid to Cupid, from a generation to the next. Sometimes romanticized but, always about that one Cupid who found his soulmate in a human and fought for her. Always about a Cupid fighting a God for the one he loved. It varies from person to person, some underline how the Cupid’s infatuation, his words and stories managed to convince Eros. Other highlight how Eros always had a soft spot for his Cupids, how good he always was with them. Who better to understand love than Eros himself. Eros, large white wings move softly, making the clouds around him dissolve at his feather’s touch, looks down at Jaehyun with a soft smile, one of his sons. His hand rests on top of his large bow, head leaning against it as he laughs a bit at the brunette’s expression. He’s dumbfounded at how easily the God agreed. But, Asia’s Cupid should’ve known, Eros is a sucker for love stories. He wouldn’t ever dare get between two lovers, not when one of them is Jaehyun.

“Child.”, Eros starts again, adoring look on his eyes. Jaehyun never had a father figure, not in his life at least but, when Jeonghan is the closest thing he had to it, Eros follow quickly behind. “You are free.” What can Jaehyun do other than bow down in front of the God, grateful isn’t a word strong enough. Though, the brunette has many questions and, Eros already knows them. Few Cupids had the same questions and, he’s prepared.

“What about…My memories ?”, Jaehyun asks, knot in his throat. Blonde, curly hair bounce to the side when Eros listens carefully to the question. On his pedestal, pretty throne in gold, he leans a bit forwards, the same pink eyes boring into Jaehyun’s now brown eyes. He noticed, he noticed how Jaehyun didn’t let his irises take their original color, how he didn’t dress like his brothers.

“You’ll keep them.”, visibly taken aback, the brunette doesn’t answer and so, Eros continues. “When Cupids leave, they’re free to pick. Return as newborns or, have a life on Earth as they are.”, simply says the God. “It’s harder, to be aware of everything, but it’s also a chance.”

“Like Jeonghan.”, he says before even thinking and, instead of answer, the blonde simply smiles.

“He’ll look over you. I’m counting on you to look over him.” The brunette’s mind might blow at this very moment, he knew. The posture, gestures, smile, the way he looked at him. So he was your tutor too.

“What about the others ?”, Jaehyun doesn’t dare say their names, his brothers, he will probably cry if he does. Will he ever see them again, he doubts, and that’s the heartbreak Jaehyun wanted to avoid. Suddenly, Eros’ features grow cold, worried, even.

“You can say good bye, but you’re not allowed to come back after that.”, he knew. But it still makes the brunette look at the ground, tears at the corner of his eyes. He won’t cry now, he tells himself.

He cries minutes after, when his brothers wait aligned in front of him. Jaehyun won’t ever talk about the good byes he had. Tearful, he made sure to look at his brothers face enough to make sure he wouldn’t ever forget them, even without pictures. He cries and begs for their forgiveness when they aren’t even mad. Jaehyun has a sweet word for everyone, he wishes he had prepared himself better and he gives something to each one of his brothers. He cries when they hug each, one by one.

They all promise they’ll look over him, they all promise they’ll find each other again, in their next life, whenever the next generation steps in. Jaehyun doesn’t even get to see the next Cupid at his spot, the one touched by his white arrow years ago.

Jaehyun looks back one last time, and before he can cry again, he falls from Olympus. Seconds that feel like minutes where Asia’s ex Cupid feels everything and nothing at the same time. When his feet touches the ground again, he doesn’t even register where he is. He thinks he’s in his apartment again and, when he opens his eyes. He’s in front of your door.

Eros, he thinks. He said he’d look over him too, seems he didn’t lie.

Red eyes, bloodshot, he doesn’t think twice and knocks on your door. The shock and worry in your eyes almost makes him laugh through his last tears, one his quickly dries off with his sleeves. You’re unaware of this, you don’t know yet but, he did all of this for you. Gods know your name, the love he has for you told to generations.

“I have something to tell you.”

Taeyong sighs heavily, a hand harshly pushing the pink haired’s hand away. Asia’s next Cupid is in formation while Jungwoo balances between his continent and his old friend’s. The new Cupid is a teenager, he looks a bit younger than Mark. Curious, he was happy to be assigned to Asia but Gods, was he the perfect annoying little brother. Death glare towards the smallest, Taeyong pushes his arrows away.

“No, Jaemin. You’re not allowed to.”, the red haired tells him again and, he pouts. “Let me at least look at my continent.”, the youngest says. It’s the end of the day and the oldest figures he’ll let him, now that he learned how to travel quickly and look over different cities.

“Oh no, I wanted To-.”, he youngest starts, trying to move to the wanted Japanese city.

“Wait !”, Taeyong’s loud voice rings in Jaemin’s poor ears, he frowns as he looks at the city he accidently landed on. Seoul. What’s Taeyong staring at, he wonders. A couple walks in the middle of a store, one Jaemin doesn’t recognize. Annoyed by the interruption, he looks over at this tutor.

“Are you going to shoot an arrow at him ?”, he asks.

“Oh no, they’re already blessed by the Gods. They don’t need arrows.”  

© NEOVISIONED l NO REPOSTING OR TRANSLATIONS ALLOWED.

[angelkurenai]

Heaven on Earth - Dean Winchester x Reader (French Mistake/Soulmates AU)

Title: Heaven on Earth

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word count: 4,221

Warnings: Spoilers for 15x20 I guess

Prompt: Hey! I love your fics a lot. Especially the French mistake trope ones! I was wondering if you're taking requests cuz if you are I would so love a soulmate french mistake one for the finale.. had been something how you'd give it your own take. If not, it's totally okay I love your work regardless! <3

Imagine instead of dying and going to heaven, Dean is brought back to life by Jack who choses to give Dean the ending he deserves. An ending which he had been hoping to live through but never got the chance. An ending, a life, where he gets to meet his soulmate, you, whose name is written on his wrist and whom he never got to meet simply because you weren’t in the same universe. 

“Huh?” Dean breathed out and blinked several times, letting his eyes adjust to the change of scenery that came a little bit as a shock for all the different kind of reasons than anyone else would expect “Looks like I finally made it. Who would've thought?”

He let an easy smile rest on his lips as he took the scene around him, unfamiliar as it was there was still a great deal of hospitality that made his so comfortable in this lovely tiny living room. It wasn't familiar in any way that meant that he had seen it before but it was something he could very easily get used to, a place to love and call home. So much so that he had to ignore the pang in his chest when he remembered that he couldn't get to show it to his brother, not anytime soon that is. It was something that he would have to accept, no matter how hard it proved to be.

“Weird.” he mumbled, approaching a window and looking outside, the city although again not familiar, looking as calm and normal as it could be “I don't remember this one.”

The change of scenery while, yes, expected after one's death – and Dean was no stranger to the concept – did make him frown at what he was really coming face to face with. “Did they change things around here?”

He asked practically at nobody but that didn't mean that he wouldn't receive an answer “Well, to be fair I do think that chair was by the other side of the room. And those books, she must have moved them too.”

“Son of a-” Dean jumped in surprise and soon pressed his fist against his mouth to stop himself from continuing that sentence. Before he even had the chance to wonder if it was even right to swear in a place like this, all words died out in his lips when he turned to face the person that spoke up.

“Jack?” he whispered, almost in disbelief; his eyes widening.

“He-hello-” a small huff left Jack's lips when Dean closed the distance and enveloped the boy in a hug which he returned “Hello Dean, it's good to see you again. Though I don't believe it has been that long.”

“Yeah” Dean laughed “Way to rub it in my face how I fucked it up so soon huh?”

“You never... I never said you did, Dean.” Jack frowned slightly, tilting his head to the side “You've done great. You have done so in fact your entire life, even when it was exceptionally hard, even when other men would have given up. You kept going. And, yes, it might have been rather painful sometimes and exhausting and seemed never-ending, but it did. It ended. And this is what you get, this is your ending Dean. Peace. I-” Jack paused, looking around “I wanted to do some things differently but it is not all up to me, there are rules to the universe and how it works. Balance you see. So, I'm... sorry that Sam can't be here, not yet at least.”

“Alright kid, don't make me tear up already, will ya?” he joked but looked away when he felt the pang in his chest again. Heaven or no heaven, he was dead and Sam was alone. Miracle too. And oh that still hurt and it would hurt for a long while.

He cleared his throat and spoke up again, instead “Ah yeah, pretty much got that. But no, no Jack you've- you've done more than just enough. Not that there are a lot of options for the other side, but given everything this is really the best one so- thank you. This- this is good. Real good.” Dean looked at his friend, trying to convey as much of his gratitude as possible. For what he didn't know where to begin with, especially after everything that Jack had done but maybe more than anything it was about how Sam wasn't there with him. Not yet, and hopefully not before he'd lived a full and happy life.

“You're welcome. You deserve it.” Jack shrugged once more, smile bright on his face.

“So you uh you stayin' or will you be gone soon? This place is kind of... strange to me, but I'm sure there must be a kitchen somewhere. Could get you something?” he suggested, already making his way around the place while trying to figure out where the kitchen was. It was a small apartment though so it didn't take long for him to figure it out; Jack closely following along.

“Uhm no I won't be staying long, I just wanted to come and see if you're all settled, if you've rested and all that.” he shrugged softly.

“Well, I'm more or less dead, so hey-” he actually found himself chuckling and ignoring the frown that set on Jack's face “Can't get any more rest than that, right?” he opened the fridge and started looking for a beer, speaking again before Jack had the chance to do so and voice his concerns “So uh, love what you did with the place. What was it really again?” he pointed to the living room's direction as he closed the fridge, setting the pie and a beer in front of him.

“Oh uh-” Jack blinked, looking towards the living room “I told you, it wasn't really me. (Y/n). She must have moved around some of the furniture. I'm pretty sure the books too.”

He tried not to let it show. He prayed that it didn't show. He knew that that Jack wouldn't question it, but that didn't mean that it wasn't there. That it didn't happened. That his heart didn't do that same crazy jump and his hand, if not his entire being, shook at the mention of the name. Jack didn't even blink and as he brought the beer to his suddenly dry lips he thought that maybe he'd gotten the hang of it after practically a lifetime. A lifetime without a soulmate that is. And the thought slipped in his mind like it always did and he bit the inside of his cheek to get himself under control. Jack didn't know and Dean was far from in the mood to talk about another, if not the most, painful chapter of his life. Maybe... hopefully he had gotten better with the years and none of it showed.

“No uh that's not exactly what I meant, buddy. But never mind.” he could feel his throat closing, his body betraying him with that same unbearable grief only an empty side of the bed could bring, so he made sure to speak up before it got the best of him the way it usually did “You creating angels now too?”

“Angels?” Jack frowned before he shook his head, clearly confused “No, I- Not yet. But... (Y/n) is not an angel. She's human.” another soft shrug.

And there was the name again, for the second time in less than a minute. Too much too soon for Dean to take. He found himself sitting in one of the two only chairs in the kitchen. His hand found its way to his wrist, subconsciously rubbing over the ink that covered his skin ever since he was a teen. Maybe it brought some kind of comfort, got him the chance to feel like you were close by and offering him comfort yourself when in reality all he had was your name and, thank heavens, no line over it. He didn't know how he'd get to deal with the fact if he was ever to see a line. He was thankful that at least up until the moment he died the words were there, solid and beautifully curved to form your name, until the very last moment he was able to feel their warmth. Up until it all was enveloped in darkness. His life had not had many advantages or comforts, but knowing that you were safe (even if far away from him) was more than enough to make up for all of it.

Though that thought now brought about another storm of dangerous, if not painful, ideas. Ideas about how you were going to deal with his death. Dean was and would always be weak about you, even if he'd never met you. He didn't know how he'd take it and now he had to consider, think and imagine how you'd deal with a line over his name on your wrist.

The mere thought made his heart twist painfully in his chest quiet similar but also so different to any other time. To hurt you was the last thing he'd ever want. And knowing that he had inevitably caused that, well, it would make resting ten times more hard.

“Humans making changes around heaven, wow. Jack you're really stepped up your game up here.” he went for nonchalant and hoped it worked.

“Humans...” Jack narrowed his eyes with a tilt of his head before it seemed to dawn on him and his eyes widened softly “Dean... you're right, there have been changes in heaven. I felt like it was time to move on, that it was time for things to be done different by someone who cares. By someone who wouldn't abandon it all and not care to listen. It's exactly why I asked for Castiel's help, anyway.” the name caught the hunter's attention and he did pause to frown but Jack didn't stop his words, he kept talking “We changed things so that heaven wouldn't about reliving your favorite memory. It would be simply about living. Living on forever and about to make new memories.”

“So that's what it was huh? And here I wondered when-”

“B-But this is not about any of it! That's what you don't get.” Jack said fast enough, cutting Dean off who blinked in surprise.

“Do I have to ask what it is or will you just go off rambling again? You seem to be on a roll today.” he took a sip of his beer, his lips pulling into a smile that he could barely feel in all honesty.

Just following along some very familiar, painfully familiar, steps. Making small talk about anything and everything that his mind could come up with, was one of them. Anything as long as his treacherous heart stopped with the painful beats. But the echo of your name in his head didn't seem to want to die out and he had to try harder.

That is if Jack didn't-

“It's simple.” he smiled sweetly “(Y/n).”

“A-Alright-” his voice shook and he hated himself for letting it show, but he was a weak man deep down and there was only so much he could take “Listen buddy. I don't know what's happened with you or who this-” he choked on his words.

Oh dear, he choked on his words. That had not happened to him in years, and yet here he was. Unable to say the name of the soulmate he had never met. Unable to say the name of the woman whom he dreamed about every night, coming up with you'd look like, what you'd be like in and out. He choked because while it has been a long time, he could still not fight the longing or ache in his soul whenever h heard the name. And best, or maybe worst, of all is that he couldn't fight the hope that rose in his chest. So many cases, so many places visited and whenever he heard that name he both prayed and feared it was you.

So many times he got his hopes up. And so many times all those hopes turned into mere dust, slipping through his fingers. Each time more painful than the previous. Leading, ultimately, to a life without you.

Really, he could only take so much after hearing your name so many times in only a few seconds. He just couldn't do it to himself, couldn't bring himself to say it. He took a deep breath in and clenched his fists “I don't know who that chick is, or what you've really trying to do here. I'm just thankful for everything you've done because this-” he looked around him with a fond smile “This place is more than good for him. It is, both literally and figuratively, heaven.”

“Well, that's just it.” Jack tilted his head to the side “This... is not heaven.”

“Oh yeah? Well, it sure as heck doesn't seem like hell either. Unless they did some general uh renovations?” he asked, almost playfully, as he looked around with a nod of his head “Oh yes, lovely color on that wall right there. Goes well with the-”

“(Y/n) picked it.” Jack shrugged, the name effectively managing to close Dean's mouth shut - and he almost glared at the boy for thinking that he could be doing it on purpose at this point “And this-” he turned back to Dean, face still serious “Is not hell either.”

Oh really now? Then, it does seem like pur-

“No, Dean.” Jack said firmly, cutting him off “You- you're not dead.”

“Uh you sure about that buddy? Cause I think I can remember pretty vividly that I got impaled. Like, Olaf from Frozen style and all.” Dean scoffed a small laugh, taking a sip of the beer. And boy, was he dead, but that still tasted good enough.

“Well, yes but actually no. See, you were on the brink of death but that doesn't mean you have really died. I saw it. I saw it all, I was there and kept you alive or, well, almost-dead long enough for Sam to... give you a hunter's funeral and then for me to put you back together, to heal every would and bring you here.” a smile slowly spread on his lips “This other world. To live in. To make new memories as I told you.”

“What- What's that supposed to mean?” Dean's voice got more gruff as realization start to dawn on him that Jack was very much serious about all of it “And, anyway, didn't destroy every other world there was?”

“When I brought everyone back on your world, I- I was able to do the same with every other world he had destroyed. Including this one. Dean, I mean-” he laughed softly “Did you really think, that after everything you'd been through, after everything you'd given for that world, after all the people you'd saved that I- I would just be another version of Chuck that let that be your ending? You deserve this. You deserve to live this life, a life where you have all you really want. I mean Sam is not here, sure, but soon I hope I will be able to come here too.

“Hold up. You really mean to say that I- I'm- I'm alive?” Dean frowned deeply when Jack nodded “Then wh-what the hell am I doing here? Why the fuck am I not back home? What kind of shitty game-”

“Because you can't. It's- It disrupts balance. Anything hat dies must stay dead, that's a rule that has been broken too many times and we couldn't bear it anymore. However, here-” he looked around him with a smile “You can be alive. And you can live a long, happy life. Without regrets.”

At this point Dean had every reason to think the kid was doing it on purpose. First mentioning your name so often and now, now this was not just pouring alcohol into an open would but rather tearing it open even more. Because yes, he had many regrets in life. Far more than he could ever count. Some of them he was or could get to overcome easily so. But his biggest ones? The ones related to you would always be there, though, and they would always haunt him worse than his nightmares.

“Why here then? What does this world have that I could possibly want so much as to-”

But before Dean could ever get to complete his sentence, let alone get a reply - one that wouldn't really cause him a heart attack - the door burst open with a loud thud. Dean jumped in his place, a frown on his face and worry starting to slip into his very own bones when Jack rose from his seat with a smile. But before he could even bring himself to question it, he moved away from his seat and made his way to the door with only a few long strides. Only to be met with the sight of one too many bags from the market, filled to the brim with food and other essentials, and the sound of an annoyed -but entirely adorable if he could say so -grumbling and cursing.

“Bloody idiots. Ignorant people. Fucking idiocy more infinite than the whole damn universe. Worse than the pandemic itself.” he saw you pull the mask you were wearing away angrily, only to look more cute in Dean's eyes and alright, a bit more than just cute because he was not dead after all and if did run into you anywhere else he would gladly try his luck, but this was far from an ideal situation, especially as you-

“No wonder Chuck would wanna snap those away. Heck wouldn't I-” but your words were cut off as a screamed ripped through your lips the second you closed the door and turned towards them, probably for the first time realizing they were there and as expected the bags you were holding fell from your hands.

“What the fuck?!” you yelped, hand pressed over your chest as you stared at him with wide eyes.

“Whoa whoa it's ok, calm down. Calm down. We're not gonna hurt you. It's alright, we-”

“Calm down!? You almost gave me a freaking heart attack dude! Because when I said that I would die a happy woman if I were to meet Jensen Ackles even once after that finale, the scenario of chapter one of a bad soulmates fanfic is not what I had in mind! You- You-” you looked around after trying to take a few calming breathes “You just broke into my apartment.” you almost whispered in disbelief “Have you gone insane, man? Who the hell is 'we'?”

“Oh, right. She can't see me.” Jack told him only afterwards and Dean rolled his eyes at his friend.

“Oh great, thanks for the heads up, buddy.” he muttered to his friend. He shook his head before dragging a hand down his face. He then looked at you, finally taking a good look at you and trying not to let his confusion show at the weird flip his heart did “Listen, I'm not crazy, I swear. I'm sure this may look very confusing and hard to explain but I can assure you that once you hear me out, everything will make sense. Just- just don't scream again, yeah? Or freak out or anything.”

“Nah it's cool. I mean why would I freak out? Because the actor I, more or less, look up to and have been a fan of for years is standing in the middle of my crappy and messy living room, dressed as my favorite character on top of that. Without any previous warning or time for me to prepare. Yeah, pff-” you scoffed, waving your hand “Why would I freak out? I can be calm. It's not like this is some kind of dream coming true, anyway. I can be the definition of calm this moment. I'm not freaking out.”

“...You're freaking out.” he said after barely three seconds. Letting you take a few deep breaths of air to calm yourself down, because apparently you needed it. Even if he didn't understand why.

“I'm definitely freaking out.” you admitted, nodding at him as you pressed your lips in an adorable pout which was too distracting if he could admit so to himself after blowing out some air.

“Better now?” he asked hopefully and you held his gaze for a few seconds before shaking your head.

“Definitely not. This might take an hour or two. Or maybe a month? Just- just to let it all settle in you know? I'm dreaming, I definitely must be dreaming. You're just a dream huh? Come on, just admit it. It will be easier to accept. I mean-” you shrugged, looking away with a shrug as you mumbled, mostly to yourself “Wouldn't be the first time.”

“I'm- Sorry, what?” he asked after a few seconds. Maybe Jack was right, this was better than heaven.

“Nothing.” you shook your head fast, and in a far too adorable way “Nothing. I didn't say a thing.” you cleared your throat and looked away from him, letting out a sigh as Dean bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from grinning like an idiot. Instead, let himself chuckle at your too-adorable ramble that followed “This is- this is insane. If I knew that 2020 would end with me meeting Jensen Ackles then I would have never judged its ability to pull the craziest shit on us.”

“Je- Who?” Dean blinked a couple times though, before letting out a long sight and shaking his head “Really?” he just looked straight at Jack, not caring how crazy he looked at that moment “But of all those worlds, it had to be this one? You know what buddy? Maybe I'd have rather stayed dead.”

“No you wouldn't. I know. So do you.” Jack said with a far-too-knowing smile that made Dean narrow his eyes at him.

“Yeah” you dragged the word, effectively getting his attention - not that it was that hard for you “Sure. Not crazy at all.” you chuckled.

“Not crazy, sweetheart.” he shrugged “And certainly not Jensen Ackles, sorry to disappoint.”

Oh yeah? Then if you're not Jensen who are you? Dean Winchester?” you raised an eyebrow, smile playful on your lips and far too distracting for Dean, but there was no way he would dare admit it.

Confusion passed through his eyes before his interest was peaked “Bingo. You couldn't be more right, sweetheart.”

“Aha sure.” you still chuckled, lips pulling into a smirk that he liked more than he should already “There are cameras set around here, right? Like, of course there are. Is this some kind of goodbye gift though, to the fans for the finale and what not?” you started looking around for said cameras. He momentarily got distracted by the distance that only lessened between the two of you as you moved around him.

He made sure to snap out of it though before he made too much of a fool of himself “Oh don't know what cameras you're talking about but this- it ain't that. It's more complicated than that. As in-” he shrugged “I went on a hunt with Sammy, I died, he burned the body, Jack here whom you cannot see put my back together again am guessing kinda like a human puzzle, stuffed my soul back inside and dropped my ass on your living room without a warning. So, really, it's just as much of a shock to me as it is to you.”

“So you're keeping it up huh? Alright then. I'll go along with it. I am guessing that since I am also part of this story, I should probably introduce myself hm?” you smirked and he shrugged, playful as well.

“Well, it wouldn't be bad anyway. Until you believe me, that is. And Figured I should put a name to the beautiful face.” he tried to seem casual about it but he was anything but “Dean Winchester, pleasure to meet ya. And sorry for crashing in the middle of your apartment like this.”

“Wonderful.” but instead of reaching for his extended hand to shake, you grabbed a grocery bag and handed it to him cheekily “Help me place all these stuff in their place and I might just forgive you.” you shrugged grabbing some of the bags and making your way to the kitchen, only to pause when you realized he wasn't following “What? Saving people, hunting things, the family business, ain't it? Well, there is no monster here to hunt but oh could I use some saving from the terribly exhausting job of cleaning these.”

“You- for real?” he gaped at you in disbelief.

“Hmh. Couldn't be more real. Take the rest, will you?” you grinned at him and started walking towards the kitchen again, leaving him to stare after you and maybe take a few seconds to bathe in the warmth you laughter brought to him. Dean only shook his head, laughing to himself as well before started to grab the rest of the bags, noticing how you'd left the heavier back on purpose.

But it was during moments like this, when he really felt like there would be no troubles and no more thoughts that the world pulled the most cruel kind of jokes on him. And instead of calm, his world fell apart... or in this case fell into perfect place. For the first time now, in his entire life.

“Oh and for you help, a reward is in accord. Name's (Y/n) (Y/l/n), and it is a pleasure.”

Only for Jack to add in a low voice barely three seconds later and verify each and every thought and fear and hope running through his veins in that moment.

“Because this world has the one that can give you the real heaven, on Earth. Your soulmate.”

[johnkrrasinski]

𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜

Chapter 2: bad was the blood

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: bucky barnes x reader

Word Count: 4,376

Summary: blessed with telepathic abilities since birth, you were captured by HYDRA and turned into one of their weapons to kill. after the blip, you were pardoned by the government and you were obliged to check up with dr. raynor everyday which you had no clue would lead you to the one soul you’d been waiting for.

Warnings: SMUT!! (18+) angst, mentions of anxiety, nightmares, murders.

A/N: this series is dedicated to the lovely @ohmickeyhenry who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for trusting me with your story. i sincerely hope you like it.

It had been a week since you and Bucky reunited and ever since that night, you and him were practically inseparable. Your bedroom was next to his and each night, he always came to yours to catch up on things and some nights, your conversation would go so deep that he would find himself waking up in your bed when the sun rises. He’d always leave your bed slowly to go into his room so that he wouldn’t wake you.

Each night he sleeps next to you, his nightmare became less intense. They still haunted him but they were vague, it was as if the faces of his victims become blurry and the echoes become whispers. One night, Bucky came back home from a small mission late and by the time he arrived at the compound, you were already asleep. Bucky knew the passcode to your door so he could let himself in anytime. He typed in those numbers and slowly opened the door and he smiled at the view of you sleeping peacefully. He would watch you sleep all night if he could, but he was exhausted and so were you, so he left you alone to rest.

Beads of sweat rolled down your skin as the cold air sent shivers down your spine. You watched the emotions in Natasha’s eyes vanished, as if her soul left her body and that’s left was the vessel. Sam, Tony and Bruce stood there like statues, waiting for your order. They had one thing in common with Natasha and that was the void of emotion. You felt a sense of pride in turning the Avengers into lifeless soldiers. They were at your mercy, you could command them to destroy the entire world with only a whisper.

Then you felt a cold grip on your arm, “Y/N… Why are you doing this?” Those steel blue eyes held so much pain in them as if he had just been betrayed by the person he trusted the most. “Stop this now! This isn’t you.” Bucky pleaded.

“Stand back soldier, or you are next.”

“No, I won’t let you do this to our friends.”

“Stand back. I will not ask you once again,” you warned him without a hint of uncertainty.

“Stop this, now or I will.” Bucky opposed.

“Very well,” with merely a glare, you activated the soldier you once knew. Years ago in the cold bunker of Hydra, ready to murder with a single order.

“готов подчиниться.”

You watched his blue eyes turned to ice, imitating his infamous name. You smirked and leaned close to his ear, “welcome back, soldier.”

You thrashed your body in your sheets and woke up with a loud scream. You thought you were doing well but the nightmare returned. You were doing what you dreaded again to your friends, the people you considered your family now. You sat up in your bed and sobbed until you heard Bucky opened your door with a concerned gaze. “Y/N, are you okay…?” He didn’t hesitate in running to you and sat next to you on your bed.

“I didn’t mean to, I- I never meant to hurt anyone…” You sobbed against Bucky’s chest as he wrapped his arm around you. His flesh arm held your head close to where his heart was beating and he tried to calm you down by stroking your hair and shushed you. He didn't know what you meant by that and he had many questions to ask but he understood better than anyone that in this state, integrating you would only cause more damage, so he let you cry it all out and comfort you in every way he could.

“It’s okay, y/n. I’m here, it’s going to be okay.”

You cried as you laid on Bucky’s chest until exhaustion took you over. You didn’t remember when you both began to drift away but as Bucky was sleeping, he saw visions of you doing heinous things to people, innocent souls who were held against their wills. He heard their screams and their pleas, but they weren’t looking at him, they were looking at… Her. Bucky had never seen her gaze so cold. Then he was transported into another scene… The place where HYDRA used to store him. It was one of the Russian Armed Forces, Vasily Karpov who was in charge of him during his Winter Soldier years.

Bucky remembered every second he spent trapped in the chair as he was given his orders. But this time, it was her strapped on that chair, screaming in agony. He watched him spelling out the activation words, they were different than his but just as effective. Bucky tried to reach her out, wanting to punch all those men and get her out of there but somehow his feet were stuck in place.

As the last word was uttered, he watched the woman he had slowly fallen in love with disappeared, replaced by a soulless soldier who was ready to kill anything that stood in her way. Bucky woke up to faint echoes of his name being called, “Bucky…” And slowly, he began to come back to life, and he saw her face, still the woman he knew, not the soldier in his dream, looming over him. “Did you see it?”

Bucky instantly sat up as he stared at her, “you were one of the winter soldiers. You were there.”

You nodded, “I was… They never referred to me as the winter soldier, however, I was treated just the same as you were. I had the same purpose as you.”

“How come you never told me?” His gaze was soft, he didn’t sound disappointed or betrayed, he just sounded… Worried.

“I couldn’t… I just didn’t know where to begin. I didn’t want to ruin what we had so I figured, if I left you first, I wouldn’t have to hurt you too and I was afraid that if you found out, you’d never look at me the same.”

“Sweetheart, we are both haunted by the same things. I’d never hate you for what you did. Don’t you think I didn’t have the same fears before? We’ll get through this together, I promise.” He held your face in his hands, the contrast of temperature in both of his hands was somehow soothing you, reminding you that he was once just as peccable as you were.

“But I don’t trust myself, Bucky. Someone could find the book and if they say the words, I could hurt people again… I could hurt you too. And I don’t know if I would ever come back.”

“I won’t let that happen, I promise you. I couldn’t trust my own mind too until I went to Wakanda and they fixed me. They removed the winter soldier program and now I’m free.”

“Is that… Possible?”

“Yes, I’ll explain everything in the morning but, right now, we need to rest.”

“Okay…” you were feeling rather drowsy, not only physically but emotionally too. It was never easy to unravel such shame and remorse.

Bucky laid back and opened his arm for you to sneak under it. You placed your head on his chest, feeling safe and sound being so close to him. Bucky’s fingers tangled with your hair as he kissed your forehead. “Promise you’ll be here when I wake up?”

“I promise,” he whispered.

The sound of his steady heartbeat lulled you to sleep.

-

The next morning, Bucky and you had breakfast together. It was early, the dawn had just begun, and some of the Avengers were out for a run or still asleep. You and Bucky had some alone time in the kitchen and you were thankful for the brief moment of solitude.

“So, what I said last night…” Bucky initiated the conversation as he put his coffee mug on the table. “I really think our best option is to go to Wakanda, y/n. They’ve got the best medical equipment, the people are extremely smart, they’ll take care of you. Just like they took care of me.”

“What makes you think they want to treat me, Buck? I mean, they took you in because the king and Steve made an agreement, but they have no idea who I am and even if they do, they don’t owe me anything.”

“The Wakandans may be resourceful and independent, but they are generous people too. I’ll call Ayo and sort everything out. They can spare me a few more favours.”

“If they agree to treat me, I only wanna go if you go too. I don’t wanna be alone in a country I’ve never been to before, Buck. I’m not familiar with their culture, I don’t speak their language, I don’t wanna fuck it up, you know?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there with you every step of the way. I promise.”

“Why are you so good to me?”

“Because you’re the only good thing that happened to me in the past seventy years.”

You never believed in butterflies, but you swore in that moment, the whole damn zoo went nuts. Bucky had a way to make you feel loved and cherished, and you were falling fast. You just hoped that he’d be there to catch you.

The sincerity in his eyes made you smile like you never had before. Looking back, the only times you had ever genuinely smiled was because of Bucky. His texts, his face, his touches, they were your newfound grace. Bucky told you that you were the only good thing that happened to him in the past seventy years, but so was he to you. Was it possible for two fucked up people who had done heinous things to find such love? You could only hope that nothing would come in the way of that.

-

Wakanda was a breath of fresh air. Figuratively and literally. You loved New York, no matter what, it would always be your home. However, Wakanda could definitely give New York a run for its money. The air was free out of pollutions from vehicles, everywhere you look, the landscape was filled with scenic greenery and not to mention the futuristic architectures yet deeply rooted in their culture. The people were welcoming and kind, yet they were not to be crossed over.

When you and Bucky first landed, the king himself, T’Challa with Okoye and Ayo by his sides welcomed you. It was intimidating to be in their presence, yet you were fascinated by how graceful they were. You were hoping that your anxiety wouldn’t make you do something dumb or stupid in front of them so as soon as you were out of the quinjet that Sam was flying, you bowed in front of the king. “We don’t do that here…” T’Challa declared.

You swore you could pass out from embarrassment. Bucky chuckled when you straightened your pose. T’Challa shook hands with Bucky like they were old friends, so did he with Sam. Bucky had been communicating with Ayo regarding your visit today so he didn’t have to explain why you were there anymore. They led you to Shuri’s lab where the miracle occurs.

When she saw you, she was nothing like you expected. She was younger than you but she seemed so ahead of you. She seemed so ahead of everyone in the room. She was bright and had an effervescent personality. The lab was unlike anything you’d ever seen, even Tony’s lab in the compound wasn’t as swanky as this one. Shuri’s lab had equipment you didn't even know existed.

She greeted you both, “welcome back Sergeant Barnes, and who’s your girlfriend?” her bluntness caught you off guard.

“Princess, this is y/n and y/n this is Princess Shuri. King T’challa’s younger sister. She was the one who fixed me eight years ago.”

“Hi Princess, it’s an honour.” You shook her hands.

“Welcome. Now let’s get you comfortable so we can take a look inside your brain, yeah?”

Now here you were, sitting in front of a burning yule log, the fire illuminated your face in the dead of the night. Ayo was standing across you, watching you with her spear ready but she trusted you, regardless. Bucky sat next to you, close enough to reassure you that he wasn’t going to let anything happen to you or anyone.

“It’s gonna work, y/n. I promise.”

“What if it doesn’t? How will you bring me back?”

“Shuri would know what to do. I was sceptical of my own mind too at first, but I turned out fine. Better, even. You’re in good hands.”

“If she comes back, and you can’t stop her, promise me you’ll put her out, even if it kills me.”

“Y/N…” He looked wounded, how could he possibly do such a thing to the woman he loved?

“James! I can’t hurt anyone else anymore, and worse, if I hurt you, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

He nodded, though his heart was saying otherwise. “Okay, I promise.”

The tears in your eyes crawled down your cheeks and he held you close in the hut you’d been sharing with him. He kissed your hair like he would when he comforted you. The hut was simple and far away from the modern life you were used to in the compound or in New York, but you loved the tranquillity and simplicity of it. Some nights where Bucky and you would lie together, warming each other up, wearing nothing but customary clothes, you’d quietly think, you could get used to this. The simple life, with Bucky. Just you and him, and the rest of the world fade into the background. You wondered, could you still have it? That life? Or was it just wishful thinking? Right now, you could only hope that you’d be released from the demons of your past, that still lived in your head.

“I’ll be here, doll.” Bucky whispered and held your hand until the very last second.

“I won’t let you hurt anyone, Y/N. We successfully removed the winter soldier programs from James’ mind like rotten fur, you have nothing to worry.”

You nodded, “okay Ayo… I’m ready.”

You inhaled and stared at your own feet. The soil seemed like a great distraction at that moment. You wished you could hold Bucky’s hand but you didn’t want to look like a scared little baby. Then you heard it, Ayo’s assured voice spelling out the first codeword and the tension in your body rose. You trembled from the cold air, preparing yourself for the worst to happen as she uttered the next one. With each word, the fear in your veins amplified, thinking that any second now you were going to be a passenger in your own body and the demon that lived within you was going to take over.

But as Ayo uttered the last word, you were still there. You remembered your name, you remember where you were, you remembered the people around you and why you were there. You didn’t feel paralyzed, but rather alive. Freed from chains. You couldn’t believe it, you were never one to believe in miracles but that night, you did.

“You’re free, y/n.” Ayo smile like a proud mother.

“I’m free…” You repeated her words as if you were trying to convince yourself that it’s true.

She nodded, and you looked at Bucky who couldn’t hold himself back from wrapping his arms around you as he kissed your temple. “Oh, baby….” You could hear the genuine happiness in his voice and the shape of his lips forming a smile against you.

“You are both free,” Ayo declared.

You looked into his blue eyes that were gleaming with joy and love for only you. In that moment, you wished you had your phone with you so you could capture the priceless look on his face. You knew he was happy for you, however, you felt like you were celebrating his happiness instead. Maybe that’s what true love really is, celebrating each other’s happiness.

He grabbed your face and kissed you so deeply, taking your breath away. You could taste the saltiness of your tears cascaded down to your lips, but it was okay because you could feel Bucky’s soft lips against yours too and it was all you needed.

You held hands with Bucky, walking down to your shared hut, never wanting to untangle yourself from each other. Each night in Wakanda was an entire voyage itself. The scintillating stars in the sky and the quietness was paradise. You could see why Bucky adored Wakanda so much, everything about this country is perfect.

You laid on Bucky’s chest, playing with his dog tag. Even while sleeping, he never took it off. “I can’t believe I’m finally free…” you whispered.

Bucky looked down at you, “believe it doll, you deserve it.”

You sat up and leaned on your elbow, looking at him, “Thank you for getting me here and for being with me through it all. You’re amazing, Bucky.”

“No, doll, that is you. You’re one of the strongest people I know and I admire that.” Bucky sat up and he stared into your eyes as he strokes your cheek with his thumb.

In that moment, there was a sudden urge to have him in a way you hadn’t had. You didn’t care about anything else, you just needed to feel every inch of him, and you needed him to feel every inch of you. You slammed your lips onto his, taking Bucky by surprise yet he leaned into it. Bucky grabbed your arse, pushing your body closer to him, despite the nonexistent gap between you. Bucky licked your bottom lip, and you took his cue as parting them, allowing his tongue to take over your mouth.

You stopped for a second to gasp for air, and you closed your eyes, letting Bucky take the wheel. Bucky moved his flesh hand to your hair, holding a fistful of it to your face in place. Then when he felt like he needed more, Bucky moved his hands to your thighs, lifting you onto his thighs, then he shifted his body around so that he was on top of you and you were lying on the pillow.

Bucky was still kissing you until he started moving his kisses down to your chin, then to your jaw then to your neck, the spot that he knew would elicit a sound of you. Bucky might’ve been over a hundred years old and he hadn’t been intimate with anyone since 1945 but he still remembered how he used to make a woman scream for his name and he wasn’t going to waste that talent.

Bucky lifted the hem of the tank top you were sleeping in and you raised your hands to make it easier for him to get rid of it. This was the first time Bucky had seen you naked, you were always sleeping in clothes next to him, whether it’s a tank top and super short shorts, you were always covered. But now, you were all bare and you were slightly nervous because you hadn’t let anyone see you like this since you were captured by HYDRA.

Chills ran down your spine from the crisp air, but it was also because of the way Bucky was ogling you. You could see how dilated his pupils are, overshadowing the blue. “You’re fucking gorgeous,” he breathed.

Bucky continued his lecherous act, kissing down your chest then to your right nipple, swirling his tongue around like a lollipop while his other hand toyed with your left breast. You arched your back as you shut your eyes, letting him do whatever he wanted to you. You whimpered, needing more of him. “Bucky…”

He wanted to taste more of you so he trailed kisses down your stomach, waking up the butterflies inside until he was breathing to your core. Even in the darkness, he could see how your wetness glistens. He wrapped his arms in each of your thighs and spread them apart for him to dive in. He could tell you were feeling a little shy but he made sure to make you feel otherwise by kissing the insides of your thighs, telling you, “I bet you taste real sweet, darling…”

His words made you open your eyes and looked down at him, between your things. He smirked mischievously at your reaction. Then he dipped into your core, licking a stripe up to your clit, making you moan out his name. The way his stubble burnt your delicate flesh made you want to close your thighs however, Bucky held them firmly in place. He savoured every drop, devouring you like a famished man. Your thighs trembled around him and you bit your lip trying to surpass the moans. The slurping sounds that he made were sinful.

Then he shoved two of his fingers inside you, scissoring you open for him. You gasped, the intrusion shocked you, causing you to open your eyes and look down at his act. “Oh God, Buck, I’m fucking close…”

He dipped down again, savouring more juices flowing out of you. “Shh, I know doll, let go. I got you.” He continued his assault on your cunt until you felt the bubble in your belly exploded, making you see stars. You had forgotten the pleasure of chasing your orgasm until Bucky reminded you. Bucky swallowed every drop you released, not wanting to waste anything. He stayed there until you had nothing more to give.

Bucky rose from between your thighs, kissing you passionately and you could taste yourself on his tongue. It was so fucking debauched yet you fucking loved it. You wrap your arms around his neck and run your hands through his hair, messing it up and he looked so fucking sexy.

“I want you Bucky, please fill me up,” you pleaded in between makeout.

“You want this doll? You want me?” He knew what you desired, he just wanted to make sure one last time before you go all the way so you wouldn’t regret it in the morning.“

“Yes Bucky, I want all of you… Only you.”

“I got you, sweetheart.” Bucky grabbed your hands and put them above your head. He pulled back to take off his pants, freeing his cock out of his boxer. To say Bucky was packing light would be a massive lie. He was long and thick, not to mention he was painfully hard. You really didn’t expect it. You had thought about it and you guessed he was more on the lengthy side yet, he seemed to surprise you more and more every time.

Bucky saw the way you stared at it and he smirked at your reaction. “Like what you see, doll?” He stroked the shaft, getting it ready to plunge into you.

You bit your lip as your chest heaved at the licentious scene, “can I taste it?”

Bucky scoffed and shook his head while still stroking himself, “not tonight, doll. But I’ll hold your word.” He crawled back up to your body and you spread your legs apart to make room for him, you maintained eye contact as he held both of your hands that were still above your head. You could feel the nudge of the tip of his cock on your bud, making your toes curl, “are you ready?” he asked.

“Yes…” you practically whined. “Please, take me.”

Without a second thought, Bucky pushed himself inside you, slowly yet you could feel every inch of him stretching your walls open and you threw your head back, the friction caused your head to spin. You cried out his name as you tightened your grip on his hands, needing to hold onto something.

Bucky grunted when he was fully inside and he took a moment to hide his face in your neck, “ah, fucking hell, doll. You feel amazing.”

“Move Bucky, please…” you pleaded after you adjusted to him being inside you.

Bucky began to move slowly, started with shallow thrusts, pulling back a bit then pushed it back inside. When you didn’t show any signs of resistance, he began to pick up the pace and it made your moans grow louder. “Oh, fuck…” you cursed due to the sensation. “Faster, Buck…”

Your wish is Bucky’s command, he did as you asked and he was enjoying more and more of it. You lifted your legs higher on his waist, locking them there for dear life. You wailed as his cock impaled you, forgetting that there were probably kids sleeping around your hut but you were too clouded with pleasure to worry about that. The onslaught caused you to clench around him and your coil tightened. Knowing you won’t last much longer, Bucky detached his flesh hand from yours and moved it down to your clit, rubbing it in circles over and over again and you plummeted into bliss, electricity ran through your veins as you hit your peak, releasing yourself all over him.

Bucky kept thrusting, seeing the way your face contorted in satisfaction because of him and how your walls tightened around him threw him off the edge, causing him to reach his own orgasm. He spilt himself inside you, finishing with shallow thrusts until every drop was stored. “Ah, fuck…” He groaned.

Bucky laid on top of you while still staying inside you. You loved the intimacy of being this close to him, honestly, you wouldn’t mind staying in this position until dawn. Both of you tried to gain control over your breathing as you were completely spent. Once he regained composure, he pulled himself out of you and laid next to you.

“That was…”

“Fucking amazing? Yeah…” Bucky completed that sentence as he held you in his arms and kissed your forehead.

“You were amazing, doll.�� He continued.

“I haven’t had sex since… Well, since as long as I can remember.”

“Me too, doll. You are my first since everything that happened.”

“You are mine, too.”

For a few seconds, you just stared at each other lovingly with satisfaction plastered all over your faces. You relished in each others’ warmth, despite the hut reeking of sweat and smell of sex, you found comfort in each other, putting both of you to sleep.

tags; @ohmickeyhenry @suitofvibraniumarmor @themaddies-obx @beminetokeep @bluemoon-icecream-blog @bluemoon-icecream @harprs @thefridgeismybestie @abitofeverythingg @wolfonthemoonwatchestvshows @julimelodi @bookscoffeandotherstuff @tanyaherondale @artisancowbells @ferxaniti @intothesoul @hallecarey1 @buckybarnesplumwhore @thefallenbibliophilequote @andiyholly @emizla @capxwinter @jevans2 @alwaysreadingimagineschick @swtltlmrvlgrl @extremelyblackandwhite

[bottledemotion]

Our Twisted Faith (Soulmate AU Headcanons w/ Scenarios)

- Reverse soulmate au where the words written to ur skin is ur last words to them.

- Pairing: Zhongli X g.n reader,

- 3.9k+ words; Rated T

- warning/s: angst, character death

- A.N: This was supposed to be a full on oneshot fic but I can't fully write most of my ideas rn so I decided to list all of those (hcs or not) instead and write certain scenarios I thought off. Ngl, I have a hard time writing them in character, most of all when they're still not much accustomed to their emotions/feelings, so forgive me if they might come out OOC to you.

- For as long as he can remember, soulmates exist before the Gods.

- Before the ashes rise and form their body. Before the letters mold to create their name and have been spoken in unfamiliar languages. Before their feet take a step forward to their world, the concept of soulmate is already there. Watching, guiding and toying everyone's faith like a marionette doll.

- Which is why they also have a soulmate waiting for them.

- You could say that this is the 'only' similarity between the humans and gods hold. But unlike humans, the Archon's soulmate existence is different from the humans. Some of the Archon's other half doesn't exist even after many eras have passed.

- And one of them is Morax.

- Morax sees this concept as another form of contract. A contract that unified both individuals that both parties will benefit happiness, be it through the present and beyond. Yes he's aware that there's no 'consent' nor knowledge to both parties about this. But they can talk more about this once they meet.

- And maybe, just maybe, the contract will be fully formed.

- For an Archon who is known for being an emotionless, merciless god who slaughtered countless innocents in order to fulfil the contract. He also craves the feeling of happiness, everyone does, no matter how many times you deny it.

- he won't admit that this is also one of the similarities that human and gods hold. For human are way cruel than Archons above, cruel in their own way.

- So he waited for them. He studied the concept and terminologies about soulmates. To learn more about the contract so he can come prepared when the time comes for them to meet.

- He found out that there are many ways to find your soulmate. Be it through a time limit or name written on their skin, eyes that can only see the color of their other half eyes and many more.

- He found out that soulmates don't have to be romantic, it can become platonic and enemies as well.

- At first, the possibility of his soulmate being his enemies for life might happen. He's so used to betrayal and the blood that stained his hands, be it in or out of contract. But whenever his amber eyes gaze at the words written on his right wrist, be it through his dragon or human form, he can't help but be at ease and that everything will be fine.

- But those thoughts shattered when he found something through his learning. Something deep and brutal that he can't help ask why life has to be this cruel than it already was.

- Reverse soulmate. Sweet but deadly, bittersweet if they may. Yes you have and met your soulmate, but your faith with them is not beautiful to watch it bloom. This is a very rare occurrence for someone to have.

- And one of them is had to be him

- Because there, on his skin, he found out that the words written will be the last thing his soulmate will say to him before dying. Written in (F/c) with warm yellow star dust that glows in the dark sprinkled on the words. The words it said directed to him when his lover slowly disappear on the world is

- "I love you."

- He can't help but ask if this is a divine punishment given to him for all of the things he had done.

- He faced many enemies. Many betrayals. Spilled blood that became the exact same colour of his scales, be it through his claws or hands. Known as the God of wars, God of contracts to many. Yet he can't face this future that might will ruin him.

- But a contract is a contract, no matter if it's fully formed or not, it is still a contract. And as a God of Contract.

- He must fulfill his part and duty.

- From dusk till dawn, he waited for his soulmates to step foot on the world. Even after many eras had passed. Even after a war broke out. A nation had fallen. Blood had spilled and stained even the glaze lilies he adored watching so much with someone. Many bodies, comrade or not, loved ones or not, had been fallen along the betrayal and salt on the ground and buried deep down on the grounds. He continued waiting.

- And during his wait, he met someone along the way.

- A traveler who stumbled themselves on his nation. A traveler whose heart is weak but eyes shine, full of energy. A traveler who's spending their remaining time traveling around the world instead of looking for a cure to their condition.

- And a traveler who the very first time, just sat next to his statue.

- At first, Morax grew curious. It's not everyday to see a mortal walking to his nation without looking or asking for something for him to gain despite the obvious need from it.

- maybe that's what get his full attention when his amber eyes first landed to the traveler

- So he watched them from the statue on where they accompanied him. Silently accompanying them on their last remaining days on the land. He watched the travelers' bright (e/c) eyes watch the clouds part ways on the sky until it slowly turn to a sea of stars at each seconds passed by.

- Each day has passed. Watching them from the distance that are so close yet so far away, he noticed little things about them.

- He noticed how quiet yet soft their voice is when they hum under their breath. How the light of the sun and moon compliments their (s/c) skin. How tempting to run his fingers to their (h/l) (h/c) hair that dances with the air every time the Mondstadt Archon, Barbatos, caresses it with the wind, silently accompanying them from time to time like what he's doing.

- It's quiet yet peaceful. It's a sudden change that's somehow refreshing and comfortable. He didn't expect to feel this light feeling again after everything that had happened in the past. It's perfect but at the same time scary. Change never last, it always continue to change no matter how many time it occurred.

- And he was right when one day the traveler finally spoke to him.

- And it is a question he never expected to hear from a mere mortal

--------------------------------

"Are you tired?"

'Tired from what?', is what he wanted to reply but immediately remembered that the traveler didn't know that he's there beside them, listening and accompanying them on every tick of the time.

"Bound by the contracts you agreed on. Chained to your duties, responsibilities and even guilt that you hold on your shoulder. Never taking a break from it and instead keep moving forward no matter how heavy those burdens you carry it all alone despite the people who worship and swore to protect you and the city are all around you."

He heard them take a deep breath and continued.

"You've already finished your duties to your land, did you ever think or ask yourself to call it a day and take a rest?"

Morax breath hitched at the words. And a memory immediately played on his mind.

He remembered he was strolling along the harbor when he heard a merchant tell one of his workers, "You've finished your duties, go ahead and call it a day."

He remembered he stood motionless among the sea of crowds as soon as he heard those. From there, he asked himself, "Have I already finished my duties?"

From there, no one answered his question

"Bearing it all alone...Aren't you tired and lonely from it?"

Even though the traveler never expected a response from him, he can't help but whisper his answer and hope-

"Yes."

-for the wind to let them hear his loneliness.

--------------------------------

"I guess I can say I relate to you. Being tired I mean."

Morax slowly opens his eyes and turns his way to you. It's one of the days where you suddenly talk again after days of being quiet and just be in peace which he didn't mind one bit.

He didn't know how it happened. The peacefulness in this place and between you is another sudden change that he didn't mind one bit. It became his sanctuary. Free from the titles he holds, free from duties, free from responsibilities.

Or maybe just being by your side is a sanctuary to him.

He slowly shakes his head and turns his attention back as soon as your timid voice reaches his ears.

"From my entire life, all I feel is pity and hesitance to be closer to me from others. I can't blame even them. Who would want to be friends to someone whose death is waiting on their doorstep?" You said with a humorless laugh

'I would.' he wanted to say but remain silent instead.

He saw you hug your propped up knees and draw them closer to your face, hiding your beautiful face from his eyes and to the world.

"I accepted my faith that I won't last from this world. I'm so tired of being treated like a fragile glass that will be broken at any second. All I want is to live my best from it and maybe have someone to share those experiences with me till my last dying breath."

He saw your grip tightened to both of your knees

"I wonder....what it feels like....to have someone treat you like a human than a fragile doll...."

He noticed your voice getting dimmer and dimmer at each word you spoke.

"Do you ever wonder what it feels like...to be not alone anymore?.."

No words came out from you after that. Only the wind and your silent cries comfort both of you after the one-sided talk.

He didn't know what to do. How to fully remove the pain and burdens on your shoulder and heart when he didn't know how to ease his in the first place? Despite many people's proclamation that a God can perform a miracle without limits, not all God can do those. Not everyone is known as a God of Miracle.

Not Barbatos, not him.

In the end, they're a God with limitations.

But the one thing he knows is that he can't help but want to feel it too. To have someone by his side again. So why not both of you experience it together?

If he can't destroy the burdens you both hold, both can help ease each other's burden instead.

This will be the first time he did something out of will and no contracts involved

--------------------------------

- So after that, he starts walking around in Liyue in his human form. The one he used a long time ago that was now carved into one of the Seven Statues but with little changes.

- Everything about his appearance remains, even the tattoos on his arms and the amber tips from his long dark brown hair that glows whenever he uses his Geo powers remains there. The only difference is the way he dresses. Instead of his typical white robe with a hood and long wide pants, he now wore a long dark brown coat with silver shoulder pads, tassels, and a diamond symbol on the back. He also wears gloves to hide his arms with a silver ring on his right thumb. He also wore a formal dark gray shirt underneath his coat, black pants and leather shoes and a tassel earring on his left ear.

- Meeting the traveler again with his human form was easy. He also didn't take that long for them to befriend them. The only problem to the befriending part, is the name he'll use to this era.

--------------------------------

He did not think this through.

He can feel his human hands from his side start to sweat under the gloves. His amber eyes refuse to stare back to your bright ones as soon as you ask him a question that he forgot to think through."

"What's your name?" Is what you asked from him.

A simple question that can be easily answered, but if you asked that question to a God, it's one of the hardest questions they ever heard. Stepping fort to his nation in a new era after years already passed, he must think of a name that'll be different to the one's he used to own in order to avoid confusion and misunderstanding. Who knows, he might encounter people who are still aware of the old names he used.

For an immortal Archon who can mold themself to different forms, humans or not, make money itself from his own hands and submit mortal beings, thinking up names is not his forte.

He can feel your stare burning from his entire being, waiting to answer with a smile.

And he almost did not surpass the shiver that wants to crawl itself out from his body.

He slowly turns his eyes back to you and immediately regret it. Your bright (e/c) eyes greet his amber ones, eyes full of anticipation, and happiness to probably making a new friend.

He can't help but cleared his throat to have a reason to turn his eyes away to you

"It's...." He started and darted his eyes around them for something, anything to use of a name to this era.

"Try our new food from the Wangmin Restaurant!"

"Chop Suey!!'

"Try betting your luck on jades?"

"Why don't you try checking out the Chungli store stand near Wangshu Inn?"

His eyes lit up to one name, it's-

"Chungli." He said with a straight face

He watched you turn your head to a side "Chungli? Isn't that a store at Wangshu Inn?"

He mentally facepalmed. Of course you're aware about that because you're a traveler. But it's normal to name your child in your store right? He decided that he'll use that name, for now.

He opened his mouth. The confirmation is on the tip of his tongue but it got cut off when you immediately gasped loudly, making him step away from you with mouth still hanging a bit open and amber eyes widened and staring back at yours who's also wide but not from shock, but from....realization?

"You meant Zhongli right?!"

He immediately closed his mouth. Zhongli. Huh, the name is not bad, better than the one he was about to use.

Having decided, he nodded his head to you and raised his hand in front of you.

"Yes. I'm Zhongli." He confirmed, voice deep with a hidden feeling of pride that bloomed when he said the name you made for him.

He never took notice or thought about why he felt so proud of the name you gave to him. But as time went by, he finally knew why.

You smiled at him, a smile that's so contagious he can't help but smile back to you.

You grab his hand. Despite the gloves he wore, he can still feel the warmth along the roughness of your (s/c) hand caressing his.

"I'm [Name]. It's nice to meet you!" You said and shook his hand.

With a shake from your intertwined hands. Both of your faith has been sealed.

After that, he'll regret not telling you that meeting you with his human form was a nice change. He'll regret not telling you that finally talking to you after the years of silently being by your side is one of the happiest memories he treasured about you despite it's challenge. He'll regret not telling you that your eyes are so beautiful up close. He'll regret not telling you that hearing you say that name you basically created for him , is also not bad. He'll regret that he never admitted to you that he wouldn't mind hearing you saying that name to him everyday, as long as time let you stay breathing next to him. He'll feel all of this when you're laying on a bed, looking at him with your bright yet dull eyes, wheezing out your last breath next to him.

--------------------------------

- After he introduced himself in his human form but with different name, Morax- now know as Zhongli -accompanied you to your on Liyue.

- At first, it's awkward. You both walk around in Liyue, side by side but rarely talk to one another. Though you both began to warm up to one another when you both approached certain areas that you became curious off that brings certain memories of him that he can't help but say it.

- As soon as he noticed you taking great interest in the stories he spoke. He decided to continue telling stories about the area's you both go through, even the histories and what you need to know and become aware of. In short, he basically became your walking encyclopedia traveling buddy.

- As time continues to pass by, your relationship to one another grows closer. Every day is another day to spend time with you. Traveling with you, he starts to enjoy walking in his nation again.

- One of the favourite part of his day with you is sitting with you on Qingce Village while watching the meadow full of glaze lilies bloom as the sun goes down on the horizon. It's beautiful to watch glaze lilies bloom while the fireflies surrounds them. It became one of his fondest memory he'll never forget.

- He'll never forget how your (e/c) eyes became so at awe at the glaze lilies. He'll never forget how your (s/c) hand caresses one of its petals until it caresses his hand next to yours. He'll never forget how your hand fits so perfectly to his. He'll never forget the weight of your head from his shoulder, your breath and (h/c) caressing his neck and shoulder, and the kiss he placed on top of your head. He'll never forget those, even as the meadow full of glaze lilies are gone and rarely bloom and your presence missing next to his.

- If there's one thing that he has forgotten, it's the soulmark that's written to both of your wrists. Too busy on what's in front of you, too busy to indulge your presence until your borrowed time slowly comes to its end. Forgetting the words written in (f/c) became one of his biggest mistakes as he slowly wallows in regret as soon as he remembers it too late, right on the time where it's time for you to go.

------------------------------------

"I forgot to say thanks to you."

Zhongli heard what you said despite your voice being quiet, too quiet for his liking. He didn't turn to face your way, afraid that if he did, it'll be hard for him to turn away anymore, afraid that tears will come out of his eyes, afraid that it'll be hard for him to let go of your hand that slowly loosen its strength. 

But he's listening. He's always listening to you, even if you're not talking anymore he still listens to you.

"For as long as I can remember, I accepted my faith that I won't last from this world. The people around me all look at me in pity. It's suffocating, it's tiring to see the same sad look plastered on their faces every time I came near them. All my life, I always wanted to have someone by my side to share my journey in this world but no one wants to. I'm used to it, I even thought that no one would really bother to turn their way to me."

Zhongli felt the bed shift, and (e/c) stare boring to his hidden face.

"But you did."

He heard you sniffle "You turn your attention to me. You walk your way to me. You talk to me. You gave me friendship that no one dared. You gave me experience, happiness on my journey and I'm so, so glad I met you and will be with you on my journey."

He heard you hiccup "but at the same time....Sad because you have to bear the grief and loneliness alone once I'm gone."

He tightened his hold to your hand.

"I'm sorry yet at the same time not, that I met you. Is it bad of me to feel happy that there's someone here who will miss me once I'm gone?"

You laughed. It came out force like your wheezing the breath left from you.

"All in my life, I felt so alone. So when you came in my life, it's like the Geo Archon listens to my prayers even though they don't have to."

Zhongli noticed your breath starts to get slower and slower. He noticed your hold to his hand getting weaker and weaker. He noticed your voice getting quiet and slow. He always noticed those yet he can't do anything to prevent those from anything. What only he can do is accompany you, to ease your burdens so you can leave peacefully from this world.

But he can't help but release a shaky breath. He can't help but hold your hand tighter to the point it's crushing your hand, yet you didn't voice out your pain. His hand that's holding yours starts to shake but neither of you point it out. 

He knows you're leaving today. Time is ticking, and there's nothing he can do to stop it.

As soon as he felt your hold loosen completely, he knew the time was up.

But before you left, you said the words he never expected you to say.

"I love you."

You wheezed before closing your dull (e/c) eyes and hid it for the world to never see again.

You left him sitting next to you. Now looking his way to you with wide, foggy amber eyes. Not even Guizong, his first lover despite both having a different soulmate, didn't say those to him in her dying breath.

From his dilemma, everything clicks into place. 

You were his soulmate. And he realized those too late.

And the only he can do is cry. For the person who's gone. For the words he never gets to say to you. For the things he never got to do and express to you. 

For the love he never gets to reciprocate.

Now he knows as to why you don't have any soulmark like his when you told him you both have the same way to find your soulmate despite the lack of soulmark to your (s/c) wrist.

Because he can't die to begin with.

------------------------------------------

"The glaze lilies look so beautiful tonight. Don't you think?"

Zhongli whispers while his stare still focuses on the flower blooming next to his statue. The flower really looks so beautiful at night, reminding him of the meadow where he used to hang out with someone from his side. 

He unconsciously rubs his thumb to his right wrist, where the words used to be in (F/c), now turn into a dull black ink.

"Zhongli!"

Zhongli placed his hand back to his side and slowly turned his attention to the people who called for him.

He watches them wave their hand to him. "Zhongli! The Lantern Rite will start soon! Let's go back!" Their companion, a mysterious fairy who called herself as 'Paimon' called.

He nodded his head in their way. With a one last longing stare at the glaze lily, he walked away to the place where he first met you.

If you ask him again what he regrets, is that never gets to say the words he always wanted to say to you. He never gets to say how being with you made his dull life full of new experiences and adventure that made his life more fun to bear with. He never gets to say how he relates to you when he first met you. He never gets to say how beautiful you up close.

He regretted saying "I love you" to you too late

-I ACCIDENTALLY UPLOADED THIS WITHOUT EDITING IT! So for the people who saw this early (the unedited version one) and expect Xiao in it, I'm so sorry!! .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·. I'll write his version soon! (since he came home on my main and second acc lol) After I'm done writing the part 2 of the Venti X Female Bard reader,,

- I used all of my remaining braincell and got tired writing this on the ending, so you'll notice the ending is a bit bland?? Again, I'm sorry for that. I hope you still enjoy reading this though! (╥﹏╥)

[retrievablememories]

afterdeath | lucas

title: afterdeath pairing: vampire!lucas x fairy!reader genre: angst, forbidden romance, fantasy, vampire!au request: May I request a Vampire!Lucas with a fairy!s/o (Forbidden romance perhaps?) word count: 8.6k warnings: descriptions of death and sickness, mentions of a funeral, viewing, and funerary preparations, major character death (but...with a slight twist), mentions of blood and drinking blood, smoking cigarettes, arguments/conflict, mentions of physical violence, some romeo and juliet elements? a/n: hmm this fic probably could’ve been more detailed but i was trying to avoid triggering my own damn self with so much talk of death...ha...not sure why i went this route but i wanted a forbidden romance with an actual decent ending for both characters and this was the first idea i had recommended songs: OLLA - jhené aiko

Year 1508

“We’ve felled the demon!”

“Indeed, we have!”

Cheers ring through the dawn as a large group of fairies dance around an immense bonfire, raising their shouts of celebration to the sky. Within the fire burns the body of the Primitiva Vampire, the One and Only Pureblood, haphazardly thrown over the wood pile and relieved of her head—which sits near the bottom of the burning mass of wood, her face still twisted in a mien of anger.

As the sky begins turning lighter with the onset of sunrise, the fairies continue their celebration, staying close to the fire all the while. They carry large flaming torches to guard against any of the Primitiva Vampire’s followers who might try to sneak upon them and strike in that sliver of space where the sun has yet to rise.

The Primitiva Vampire had a long reign of terrorizing fairies and turning humans and other supernatural creatures into vampires. Each transformed being became a terrible revenant, one which viciously hunted villages and stole into people’s homes for more blood, more death, and more unwilling adherents to the vampiric cult.

Mass numbers of fairies had been decimated once the vampires first tasted their blood and took a unique liking to it. For over 200 years, the carnage continued on at the hand of the Primitiva Vampire, who had one day blinked into existence in a way that could never really be explained by any conceivable means, either human or magic. And without ever giving a hint to her strange conception, she tore across cities and towns, converting others into night creatures like herself and building a loyal following of half-bedeviled beings.

When fairy populations had dwindled to nearly extinction-level quantities, they were left no other choice—fight back or be wiped completely from the universe’s ledger. So they took up arms, honed their magic skills, and did just that.

And now, all their efforts culminate in this blood-stained morning. It marks a much-anticipated moment of revelry before they have to return to their posts to watch for the night creatures inevitably waiting on the other side of the sunset, ready to avenge their slain Goddess.

Present Day

“You probably shouldn’t be here right now.”

“I wanted to come,” Lucas replies, taking your hand is his large one. “I wanted to see you.”

“I can figure that.” You laugh quietly, a little afraid to let your voice rise higher in case it carries too far. “But that doesn’t mean you should’ve come.”

Lucas holds your hand tightly. His skin is cold against yours due to his slow blood, and colder still from the chill permeating the air. It’s only one of many vampiric traits that the other fairies would think of as strange or barbaric, but you don’t see it that way. The chilliness just reminds you solely of him.

“Well, I missed you. And I’m here now, so you’ll just have to deal with me.”

The building you’re standing behind is damp, old, and dilapidated, and it’s not even one of your pre-designated meeting places. In front of you is a rusted chain link fence, which barricades a field of tall and unkempt grass. More aged and crumbling buildings scatter themselves across the distance, taken over by grass and climbing vines.

You don’t know what’s out here. This is one place within your district you haven’t been to before. It was Lucas’s idea to come here, after your last meeting place had nearly been discovered and he found it too risky to keep going there.

The entire city of Beijing is split up into different districts, each belonging to a different faction of supernatural beings. Some nonhuman races have close ties with each other and allow frequent cross-district mingling; others are sworn enemies, forbidden to fraternize with each other under pain of death. In these latter cases, crossing into another’s territory without express permission—or in rare situations, ties to a powerful ally (or allies) on the other side—is asking to get arrested, injured, or worse.

Lucas would be your tie to the vampire side and you his tie to the fairy side if your species weren’t centuries-long enemies. Instead, you’re relegated to having him sneak in and out of your district and hide what he is with blood-scent blockers and eye contacts to make the trickery easier to get away with. There’s only so much you can do to disguise your fae nature; stepping into vampire territory would turn you into a shining beacon.

“Hmm…” you sigh, shaking your head with a small smile on your face. You grasp Lucas’s hand so you’re now holding it with both of yours. “How long do you think we can keep this up? Going from place to place like this. Hiding like criminals.”

Lucas gives a lopsided grin—one that cannot morph into a full smile because of the sadness coloring it. “I don’t know. Forever, if we’re lucky.” He chuckles.

You stare at your intertwined hands, unaware of the sheer intensity of the longing expression on your face, though Lucas sees it clearly. It threatens to burn his heart to ash. “Unfortunately, fae don’t live forever like you do, so maybe not. Besides, your people would probably find out and come after me before we could even settle into a ‘forever.’”

He shakes his head fretfully at your words, squeezing your hand. “Do we have to talk about all that now? You know we don’t have much time together. Let’s just enjoy it for what it is.” Lucas pulls you into him, tucking your head into his shoulder.

“That’s fine by me,” you say, and resist the urge to make some dark joke about how scandalous it is for a fairy to have their neck so close to a vampire’s mouth—or a vampire’s anything.

You both stay together in that dingy and old spot for a while, talking in the dark until he tells you he has to go. He follows you the whole way back home to ensure you’re safe, keeping to the shadows until he sees you disappear past your front door. Then, he slips away again to head back to the familiar manor in his own district.

It’s nearly morning when Lucas gets back to the large house he shares with the other six men. By this time of day, he knows they will either be in bed or getting ready to turn in.

“Still visiting that fairy, I see.”

The unexpected voice doesn’t scare Lucas, but it does make his body tense up a bit in irritation and a slight sense of anticipation. He sighs and stops in his tracks on the way to his room, though he doesn’t face the clan leader just yet.

“Is that a problem? Because you know I’m not going to stop.”

Kun makes a noise of disbelief. “Of course it is. You know what the consequences are if anyone outside of us finds out.” Lucas turns to him slightly, and the look on Kun’s face is more disappointment—maybe even slight fear?—than anger. “I clearly can’t stop you from doing what you want to, but I can’t help you if the Association gets involved.”

Lucas rocks back on his heels and sighs, rolling his eyes at the mention of the vampire organization. “Fuck the Association. They’re nothing but a bunch of old ass hags who have no purpose in their lives other than ruling over every other vampire in the world.”

Kun looks weary at his words. “You really don’t care, do you, Xuxi. They’d have your heart on a stake if they ever heard that.” He pauses and rolls his eyes. “They’re also not that much older than me, so I wonder who you’re calling an ‘old ass hag’...”

“Isn’t it a good thing that they won’t hear it, then?” Lucas laughs, but it’s not an entirely humorous sound, and he gives Kun a searching look as his chuckles die off.

“Don’t look at me like that. I have no interest in telling them anything, mostly because I also have no interest in our whole clan being wiped out.”

Lucas nods, reaffirming his somewhat shaky but still present trust in Kun, needing the regular reassurances for his own calm. He stretches his arms above his head and takes a few steps like he’ll go to his room, though he doesn’t move to leave just yet. “Just don’t see what the big deal about all this is. All this over some ancient bloodsucker who died like 500 years ago...who cares.”

Kun winces again, though he doesn’t bother with reprimanding Lucas this time; he only shakes his head and sighs heavily like it’s already a lost cause. “A vampire and a fairy together is more than blasphemy—it’s ridiculous. It’s illogical. They all think we’re bloodsucking demons hellbent on killing them.”

“To be fair, there’s definitely a sect of vampire zealots or two who are trying to do exactly that despite the laws.”

Kun sighs. Lucas is right; what can he say to argue that? “Xuxi…”

“I’m telling you I’ll be fine, Kun-ge. You don’t need to worry about me and Y/N. Things have been going fine for this long.” Lucas nods, then heads off to his room for real this time. Kun watches him leave, feeling a lot less reassured than the younger man.

Ten takes Xiaojun and Lucas on one of their weekly outings to a blood lounge. Blood lounges are an easy and accessible way for vampires to get blood, though the legalities of this practice are a little muddy. Before getting with you, Lucas didn’t mind drinking straight from the source—going to one of the back rooms and sucking some willing, vulnerable being just to the point of death—but now, it feels like a type of transgression. Drinking someone else’s blood can be an intensely intimate act, on the same level as sex depending on the context, and he doesn’t want to do anything to make you think he’d be unfaithful.

To his fortune, there is no club rule about having to feed off other beings; many vampires take their blood in fancy champagne glasses, just like drinks in a human club. He does that now as the three men sit in a darkly lit booth.

Their conversation is unexciting for a while, with Lucas keeping careful not to mention you or any of his recent visits to your district to avoid any prying ears in the lounge. However, things soon get interesting. “We all know how Renjun got taken off the Association’s Registry a year ago, right?” Ten asks suddenly.

“Yes, of course.” Xiaojun answers like he’s already bored of this turn in the conversation. “That’s what happens whenever a vampire dies.”

Ten nods, but his eyes are wide like he has a secret he’s itching to tell. “But I don’t think he actually died.”

Lucas’s ears perk up at that.

“Why?” Xiaojun asks.

“He was seeing that human before he supposedly died, you know—”

“The one who lost it and drove the stake in his heart? We all know how it happened—”

“Can you let me finish? Anyway, I’ve heard some...suggestions that he faked his death—that maybe he got a magic user to set the whole crime scene up and make it look like it was real. Illusory magic, or something like that.”

Xiaojun sits forward. “A magic user. As in a fairy? Or a witch? Who?”

“I don’t know, just someone who uses magic. People are starting to think he and the human faked it all and ran away to Tianjin. I heard someone even claimed they saw somebody who resembled him when they went to Tianjin recently, though I don’t know how true that is…”

Xiaojun’s interest is thoroughly engaged now. “Think the Association will go looking for him, if it's true?”

“I don’t know if they’d care enough to hunt down an unregistered vampire who’s laying low and not creating chaos with other citizens. We all know Tianjin is way more relaxed about inter-species relationships, too. But the Association doesn’t like looking stupid. And that kind of trick definitely makes them look stupid.”

Lucas sits back, taking all of this information in. He is uncharacteristically quiet, but he doesn’t know what to make of that situation or why Ten is telling them about it. He thinks he can guess why, though, by the way Ten’s gaze lingers on him, and that scares him a little. The way this rumor piques a forbidden interest in him scares him. Lucas lifts the glass of blood to his lips and drinks from it, trying to distract himself from the current conversation.

“All this for a damn human. Only an idiot would try something like that,” Xiaojun says, shaking his head.

“Maybe a smart one. It did get him off the Registry.”

“How can you be a smart idiot?!” Ten and Xiaojun start arguing over the semantics of the term, and Lucas watches them in amusement, though his mind remains in two different places for the rest of their time in the blood lounge.

—

Later that night when they are back at the manor, Lucas pulls Ten aside, just like the older man expected him to.

“What’s wrong?” Ten asks, though his expression shows he already knows exactly what’s the matter.

“You...the stuff you said about Renjun earlier. I…” Lucas doesn’t know how to start or break his idea to him softly, so he decides to just say it. “Is it really possible?”

“I think it’s possible. It wouldn’t be the first time someone tried to get off the Registry…though many other attempts were way less successful.” Then Ten hesitates before saying, “You could try it.”

“Are you serious?”

“I am.” Ten’s expression softens a little. “I know you and Y/N love each other a lot, but there’s no way the Association will ever let you stay together if they find out. Y/N’s life could actually be in danger. Both of you are, every moment you spend together while living in these districts. If you really want to stay with Y/N, then…”

“...But I wouldn’t be able to see any of you again.” You and Lucas have become so entwined with one another that he can hardly imagine a life without you, but he also finds it difficult to picture his existence without his brothers. They’ve become like blood family to him over the last couple centuries.

“Yeah.” Ten sighs deeply, and although his reply is short, Lucas knows that one word is carrying the weight of all of his stress and sorrow about the idea. “Maybe we could find a way to visit you sometimes. Get the fairies or witches to do some of their magicky shit.” Ten laughs quietly. “But...it’s still just an idea. You don’t have to do it.”

Lucas shakes his head slowly. He wants to put the idea to bed and try to continue on with his life, managing his clandestine visits to your district when he can. But now that he knows of an alternative way, no matter how unreasonable or unbelievable it is, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to forget about it. “Kun-ge is going to kill you once he finds out this was your suggestion. You know that, right?”

Ten shrugs, and the sadness lifts momentarily in the curve of his lips. “He can try.”

The next time you and Lucas meet up, it’s in yet another different place under an ancient and mostly abandoned bridge. As a precaution, you stand together underneath the darkness of the bridge and stay out of sight, though there are few chances of anyone being around to see you in the first place.

He has to muster up the courage to tell you of his idea, unsure of how you’ll react or what you’ll think of it. It’s a lot to ask of you. Your kinships and friendships are not as extensive as his, only having a brother and two cousins left in the world, but he doesn’t know if he could ever ask you to leave them behind like this. Or if he could shake off the guilt that would remain from it.

“There might be a way for us to change things…” Lucas starts, skipping the build-up because he knows it would take him forever to think of something appropriate to say. “But I don’t know if you’ll like it.”

“Change things?” You glance at him curiously. You wish you could see the deep red of his irises, but they are hidden behind his brown contacts. “As in, with us?”

“Yes. So that maybe we wouldn’t have to sneak around anymore. Or at least...not sneak around as much as we do now.”

“What is it?” you ask. Despite yourself, your wings flutter against your back as wonder and excitement rise in your chest. You and Lucas have waxed poetic many times before about how you wish things could be different; and neither of you have ever been able to come up with a workable plan. But now, his claim that maybe something is possible has you dangerously curious.

“Taking myself off the Registry. I could basically just...disappear. The Association can’t harm what technically no longer exists.”

You stare at him in confusion. “But you can’t do that, right? Only under special circumstances…”

Lucas sees the question in your eyes and nods. “Right. Like if I die…” You flinch, shaking your head immediately. “...or pretend I’ve died.” This makes you pause, not expecting to hear something like that come from him.

“Pretend...you’ve died. Faking your own death?”

“I know it sounds crazy, but...there’s another vampire who we think has done it before. And...it worked. Supposedly.”

You shake your head again, but you turn the idea over in your mind. “How would you even do that? Someone would have to know you’re not really dead. That can’t be as easy as it sounds...”

Lucas swallows hard. “I know, it doesn’t, but maybe if we plan it right...I think we could pull this off. Some of the others...already know about it.” Only Ten, really, but that’ll inevitably change soon.

Your heart is hammering in your chest just thinking about this plan—the small, undefined plan that it is—and you’re unsure how to approach it. “If we leave under those circumstances, we can’t come back here to Beijing. Which means we won’t see anyone else again, our families and friends...”

“You understand that.” Lucas’s voice comes out strained.

You sigh, wringing your hands. “I do.”

Lucas hangs his head, closing his eyes tightly. “It’s too much to ask of you. We can just forget about this, really. I know sneaking around has been difficult, and I just—”

“I never said I wouldn’t agree to it,” you say softly, interrupting him before he can begin deriding himself about the idea.

Lucas’s head perks up again, and you both look at each other for a long moment. A cold night breeze flows through your clothes and rustles your wings, which remain tucked close against your back.

“Just think of it as leaving the nest, I guess,” you say, though there are tears welling in your eyes. “Growing up and making a life for ourselves. We can do that...right?”

Lucas bites his lip and closes his eyelids to stave off the tears trying to form in his own eyes. “Yeah. We can do that. Even if it’s a bit...unconventional.”

You nod hurriedly, wiping your eyes with the backs of your hands before any more tears can make their way out. “If you really want to do this, then we need to visit my brother.”

—

Your brother is predictably not thrilled about the idea. He likes Lucas well enough, but he’s never been very good at hiding his skepticism about your relationship. Though he would never say this to you directly, he never expected your relationship to make it past a few months; and yet it’s been a year and a half since you and Lucas started seeing each other. Maybe he’d be glad about your relationship’s stability if your partner was anyone other than a vampire. Alas, he instead spends all his time stressing over whether either of you will be found out at any moment’s notice.

“You’re playing with fire,” your brother says as he sits down at his desk within his apothecary office. He shakes his head the entire time, but he rifles through his collection of books on magic anyway. If there is anyone who knows a potion or spell that could work for this scheme and would actually be willing to keep it all secret, it’s your brother.

“I know that, Aldriel.” You cross your arms, sighing impatiently at your brother’s continuous reprimands since you’ve stepped through his door. “That’s why we came to you. You’re one of the best magic wielders and potionists around.”

“Oh, I’m well aware. No need to blow smoke up my ass,” Aldriel replies, never one to let a moment to brag slip away. He continues flipping through his book fast enough to make the words on the pages blur, his brow creased with focus. He is paying attention to the words and pictures on the pages, though you also know him well enough to realize this is him trying to distract himself from the many thoughts that must be crowding his brain.

“Don’t be so worried about it,” you say, trying to speak against the lump that’s suddenly forming in your throat. “You’ve always complained about wanting me out of your hair, anyway.”

Aldriel pauses in flipping through his spell book to look directly at you now, his brows creased even further and his face creating a visage of bitter desperation. “Not like this.”

Sighing, you turn away from him and let him go back to his textbook, knowing you’d probably start to cry if you look at him any longer. And who knows what will happen once that begins.

You go back to Lucas, who is sitting in the other room with his face turned to the window. It is nighttime and the blinds are closed, so you know he’s not looking at anything in particular. His mind must be similarly preoccupied.

“You okay?” you ask, touching his arm.

“Fine,” he answers, though he doesn’t turn to you. He just grasps your hand where it slides down to his own, gripping your fingers tightly. “As fine as I can be in this situation, I guess.”

You sit down in front of Lucas on the floor’s intricately decorated rug, resting your head against his knee. “It’ll be okay.” You aren’t sure of the words when they leave your lips, but you have to believe in them or else all will be lost.

—

You both spend a few hours at Aldriel’s place. At one point, you try to prod Lucas into going back to his clan to avoid raising suspicions for being gone too long—you can just get the potion to him some other day—but he insists it’ll be easier for him to stay and receive the potion now.

Finally, in the hour before dawn, your brother’s door opens and he steps through. “It’s ready.”

Both you and Lucas come alert at that, and you step back into Aldriel’s apothecary to see what he’s developed.

“This is an advanced death glamor potion,” your brother says, holding up a small glass bottle. “It contains a magic incantation that will leave you dead for a week and only a week. Seven days. Your body will remain in perfect stasis, so there’s no risk of the regular side effects that come with death.”

“A week?” you repeat, nervousness coursing through your body. Lucas looks equally apprehensive, and he squeezes your hand tighter.

Aldriel nods, pushing his glasses further up his nose. “That should be enough time to take care of the funeral arrangements and make everyone else think you’ve passed.” He says the last bit while gesturing to Lucas. “I’m not super clear on how vampire funerary customs work, though, so—”

Lucas nods. “No, it’ll work. That’s enough time.”

Your brother’s mouth creases into a thin line. “Good.” He passes the vial to Lucas, makes an expression like he might say something else, and then shakes his head, glancing to you instead. “You plan to go to Tianjin, right?”

“That’s right,” you say quietly.

“You’ll need to find a place to stay, then, until you can get one of your own. And I think we both know exactly where that will be.”

The potion works just as Aldriel said it would. It’s hard to know whether to be dismayed or relieved about this, though the former emotion quickly wins out with everyone.

Lucas takes it a week after meeting with your brother and procuring all the necessary fake documents, claiming it’s best not to wait any longer for it. You feel apprehensive about doing it so soon; or maybe you just want to stall for a little while longer. By now the other five men in his clan all know, each with varying reactions to it but ultimately unable to do anything to change his mind—not even Kun.

On the night Lucas uses the potion, Kun makes one last ditch attempt at reasoning.

“You don’t need to go to this extreme,” the older man insists. Though his voice is cold and sharp and deceptively calm, his entire face is a picture of perfect anger. Everyone had already had their turns talking to Lucas alone and telling him what they needed him to hear—and now it’s just Kun left.

“It’s my decision,” Lucas says, keeping his voice steadier than he feels. “I want to be with Y/N. There is no other way.”

“You’re endangering the entire clan with this. You’d throw us all away for one person?” Kun’s eyes are red-rimmed, but not just from the rage; Lucas knows he’s been crying. Lucas shuts his own eyes, his forehead creasing as he presses the pads of his fingers to his temples.

“Don’t say it like that.”

“That’s exactly what it is.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” Lucas shakes his head, knowing he is treading on very dangerous waters with what he’s about to say. As if the situation weren’t already contentious enough. “You closed yourself off to love a long time ago. After Jingyi died. You just wouldn’t know.”

The vivid red hue of anger bleeds into Kun’s irises at the mention of his late human lover, and he has to make a very concentrated effort not to reach for the younger’s neck. “How dare you speak of her.”

Lucas opens his eyes again and looks directly at his elder now. “You’ve let the Association run your life too much,” he says, though the words come out sounding a bit defeated. He’s not even sure why he invokes Kun’s lover now; maybe he is trying to make the split easier by provoking the other man into hating him. “You’ve let them beat it into you that love is not worth trying for. What did you gain from that, in the end? But more loneliness.”

Lucas gets the breath knocked from him when Kun slams him up against the wall, and the unpleasant sound of wood splintering strikes against his eardrums. A long vertical crack forms in the wood behind Lucas, but not wide enough to make the wall separate completely. Not using his full strength, then, Lucas thinks to himself.

Kun looks for all the world like he might kill Lucas then and there without the younger man ever needing to take a potion—just bite his heart right out. He crumples Lucas’s shirt in his hands, fisting the fabric tightly enough to create small rips in it. His irises are the color of newly spilled arterial blood, and alongside the red rimming of his eyes from his earlier crying, it makes for an agonizing sight—one that sears itself into the back of Lucas’s mind. It’s made even worse by the new tears spilling down the older man’s face.

He chokes out through the tears, “You cannot do this. I raised you. You would have me destroyed twice?”

Lucas wishes he could shut every one of his senses off right now, but he can only manage to shut his eyes, once again, against the pain in the other man’s gaze. “I’m sorry, Kun-ge.”

—

After that, Lucas goes back to his own room and sits on the bed for a long time, replaying the events in his head and growing colder with the realization of what he’s about to do. He stares at the small vial on his dresser until he can’t stare at it anymore, and then he downs it all at once. He looks at the vial with renewed interest as it actually disappears once the fluid is gone, the glass evaporating away in the palm of his hand like water droplets under the sun. No evidence.

Lying on his side, he stares at the wall across from his bed and waits for the spell to begin working. He doesn’t know how much time passes, but eventually his vision begins to blur, almost so imperceptibly that it’s difficult to realize until he notices everything in his field of view is doubled, objects bleeding out of their lines like pictures drawn by a drunken artist—there’s a strange ringing in his ears too, a sound on the edge of his hearing but still present, and he doesn’t know what any of it means, or if this is how other beings feel when they are on the brink of death—it’s frightening, and he feels a momentary pang of sympathy for other nonhumans and humans alike who have no choice but to experience this terrible ordeal at the closing of their lives—

It’s harder to keep his eyes open now, so he closes them and lets all sounds and sensations fade out of his hearing—he only holds one last memory of you in his mind, of the soft and filmy texture of your wings underneath his fingertips, of you laughing whole-heartedly at something silly he’d said, and he joins his hands together in the universal symbol of prayer even as they grow weaker, hoping and praying even to his cursed vampire ancestor that this won’t be the very last memory of you—

—

“Yes, he has...most certainly departed from this world.” 

An Association council member known as Belial announces this to the room of men after doing a thorough check of Lucas’s body. His voice is distant and saddened. The texture of it is almost tangible, dragging everyone down with it like a physical thing—akin to a rock being dropped into a thin sheet. “Such a fledgling, too. Truly tragic and strange circumstances.” Belial stands beside the bed, shaking his head and looking down at the still form of the younger man as if he might discover an answer if he stares for long enough. “Was there no indication…?”

“He was probably exposed to bad blood,” Ten replies, his voice tense and quiet. Though Kun is clan leader, he doesn’t say anything at all, leaving all the dirty work of explaining the lie to Ten.

Belial’s gaze turns to Ten. He shifts his head slightly to turn his ear towards him, as if he didn’t understand what the other man said. “Bad...blood? As in death by blood weakness?”

The room feels like it’s been sucked of air once these words are spoken, and the younger men shift uncomfortably. Sicheng never lifts his gaze to look at Belial, though Yangyang’s eyes keep darting between Belial and Lucas on the bed like he’s waiting for something to happen. Hendery is just as anxious beside Yangyang, both of them passing uneasy energy between each other. Xiaojun’s face is still fixed into the same permanent frown it had been in since Lucas first told them of the plan. His eyes remain downcast and fixed on Lucas, silently asking Why did you have to be the idiot this time?

“Yes, blood weakness. He hadn’t drank as much blood as usual in the last few days...maybe he seemed a little restless...but we didn’t think it was unusual. He...didn’t seem sick.”

“Where would he have gotten bad blood from? We vampires always take such care…” Belial’s tone turns condescending, as if he could expect no better from a young vampire—someone not even wise enough to tell bad blood from uninfected blood. How could one let themselves be taken out of this world by such a fundamental, basic mistake? Kun curls his fingers into a fist at his side, though he quickly remembers himself and tries to let them relax.

“The blood lounge,” Hendery blurts out. Every eye turns to him now, and Ten’s mouth thins into an agitated line. This isn’t what they agreed on. “M-maybe it was spoiled blood from the blood lounge. It had to be. He’s more careful than that…”

Belial’s eyes are whirling with so many emotions that it’s hard to pin any singular one down. “Serving bad blood, with or without knowledge of it, is an incredible offense within any vampire district. In that case, the establishment must be shut down—after an exhaustive investigation, of course.” This statement causes more discomfort among the gathered men, almost too much of it to be properly concealed.

“I think that won’t be necessary,” Kun interjects quietly. Belial looks at him with an expression that reeks of offense, and Kun returns the stare, glaring straight into the elder vampire’s eyes. “He died of blood weakness, most likely from drinking from some disease-ridden human. Even though he used the blood lounge and blood bags, he was in the habit of getting outside blood on occasion. It was a moment of poor judgment that cost him his life...and nothing more than that.”

A tense silence stretches over the room, and Belial’s eyes still don’t leave Kun’s. The other men remain statue-still, waiting to see what will happen—if it will work—until Belial says, “Yes. Of course. I’ll file his passing with the Keepers of the Registry, as protocol states.”

The other men stay quiet and motionless until Belial departs from their house.

“You used your compulsion on a council member,” says Yangyang, and even his voice is trembling when he speaks.

“I didn’t think that was possible,” Xiaojun notes, though his tone is more irritated than awed. “They’re all so much more advanced.”

That action obviously didn’t come for free, though, because Kun is holding his head like it hurts, turning away from the rest of them. “Such recklessness is not my style. Primitiva help us all. We’re all dead if we’re found out.”

“Why did you say that,” Sicheng deadpans, his words directed to Hendery. Even though Sicheng hasn’t said or done anything since stepping into the room, he looks thoroughly exhausted. “You almost gave us away.”

Hendery holds himself up on the bed as if he’ll collapse, his body bent with all the weight of their lies. He makes a motion like he might sit on the bed before remembering it’s where Lucas’s body is resting, and he straightens himself with some effort. “I...but he was thinking badly of Lucas. Like it was his fault.”

“It was,” Kun says faintly.

“You can’t let your emotions get the best of you right now. Just let me handle the talking.” Ten’s expression is stressed, and for a moment he starts to wonder if he should’ve ever said anything to Lucas at all.

Xiaojun shakes his head. “For now, there is a lot more we need to do than just talking.”

Vampire funerary procedures are much different from what many other supernatural races are used to—even blasphemous to some. Everything is handled at the home of the deceased instead of a funeral home or mortuary, in keeping with the tradition of honoring one’s vampire ancestors—and ultimately, the Primitiva Vampire. After the Primitiva’s gruesome death hundreds of years ago, all that had been left was her ashes once the fire burned out, but her followers still gave the remains a proper processing and burial.

The men dress Lucas in one of his nicest suits and perform all the necessary actions that would be involved at a funerary home, including preparing the casket. All of them help throughout this process as tradition dictates, though it is more difficult than any of them expected it to be. (No one even makes a dark joke about you’ll have to do this for me when I’m gone, which speaks to their inner turmoil.)

The viewing is equally challenging to get through, if not more.

Many of their vampire friends and acquaintances attend, including various members of the Association. Everyone seems to buy the blood weakness lie perfectly, which means Kun’s compulsion worked as it should have. That knowledge does very little to relax any of them in the grand scheme of things, though.

Though they know Lucas is not really gone, the sight of him lying there in that dark coffin with other vampires looking sadly down at his still face and dabbing their tears away is deeply frightening.

The night of the viewing goes by at a glacial pace, and every other night after that up until the funeral passes even more slowly, like time itself has dropped its speed to prolong the torment.

When the last few straggling visitors for the viewing are gone, the men go their separate ways to try to deal with the not-so-small trauma of the day’s events. Kun goes up to one of the manor’s several wide balconies, one that they’ve all used as a familiar hangout spot or simply a place to unwind over the years. The sun will not rise for another forty-five minutes or so, giving him enough time to sit and think before it becomes unsafe. He is not very surprised when he finds Ten already there, though he decides not to leave.

“You stopped smoking three decades ago,” Kun comments, waving his hand in a pitiful attempt to clear out the smell of smoke filling the air. There’s no hint of teasing or personality in his voice, only hollowness and exhaustion. He sits beside the other man in one of the chairs sat outside. “Where did you even get cigarettes from?”

“Don’t worry about me. This is just for the nerves.”

“Why would I worry, it’s not like you can—” Kun pauses before saying the word they both know, realizing it hits far too close to home right now. Silence falls between them until Kun asks, “Do you actually believe this will be worth it?”

“It will. We’ve worked too hard for it not to be.” Ten takes a drag from his cigarette. “We’re giving them a second chance. Isn’t that something to feel good about?”

“A second chance. How interesting.”

“Everyone deserves one.” Ten glances at Kun from the corners of his eyes and doesn’t say anything more, but Kun already knows what he’s vaguely implying.

“And yet everyone doesn’t get one.”

“All the more reason to take the opportunity when it becomes possible.”

Kun doesn’t reply to that. Ten places a hand on his shoulder, but the older man meets this with little regard as he rises from his seat and walks away at a sluggish pace.

You stand in the train station ready to buy a ticket, clutching documents falsifying your identity and feeling more terrified than you possibly ever have. Today marks the seventh day, and you don’t even know if Lucas is alive right now. It was too risky to have any of the other clan members contact you—not until you and Lucas meet up in the designated place. You know Aldriel is an excellent potion master, and if he says the spell will work as intended then it will, but there’s always that seed of doubt.

Your parting with Aldriel had been typical of your relationship with him—you crumbling before him and him pretending like he was fine, lending enough strength for the both of you to survive on, though you knew he was also bleeding from the heart.

“You better not forget about me,” you’d told him, smushing your face into the sleeve of his shirt to hide your tears, though there was no stopping the flow. It was staining his shirt sleeve right through.

He’d scoffed at you, though it was a watery sound. “I couldn’t if I wanted to.” He’d held your head closer against his shoulder, the both of you glued together in whichever way seemed fit when you’d walked through his door one last time to say goodbye. “We’ll see each other again. Don’t worry.”

You’d lifted your head from his shoulder then, looking at him with an aggrieved expression. “You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Aldriel put his hand on top of your head, petting you like a small puppy. It was a thing you’d disliked since you were both children, but which only made your heart hurt even more now. “Have more faith in me than that, dear sister. You’ll see.”

When it’s your turn to get a ticket, you step up to the counter and hand over your information, trying to keep the shaking in your hands to a minimum. The teller behind the counter is also a fairy, their wings tucked against the back of their uniform but peeking out at the sides. You childishly try to take some solace in that, hoping there will be some solidarity between you two. Maybe they’ll be less critical of your legitimacy than any other being might be.

The process is scarily easier than you’d thought it would be, though you are sweating the entire time. A fake name and birth date, and no one suspected anything. All of this would have to be your new identity now if you were to live with Lucas in Tianjin without being discovered.

Getting on the train when it comes is only part of the long journey ahead. It doesn’t provide you with much relief, but you are at least thankful to have one segment of that journey complete.

—

It takes another cab to get to your destination once you’re off the train, but you soon arrive at the house of one of Aldriel’s friends and his similar-name twin—Raziel. Raziel was Aldriel’s most trusted and oldest friend, their woven history extending back to childhood. The three of you had grown up together, and you’d even been quite familiar with Raziel until they left for Tianjin some years ago. Now, you’re back in front of each other again under circumstances that you never could’ve guessed.

“You’re here. Good.” Raziel welcomes you into their house with open arms, tugging you into a jittery hug that you anxiously return.

“Have...you heard anything?” you ask, though you know it’s futile. Raziel wouldn’t have gotten any more information than you have, not until Lucas was standing right on their doorstep. They shake their head and give you a sympathetic look, patting your hands.

“He’ll be alright. Everything will go well. I believe it.” Raziel guides you further into their house, presumably towards the room you’ll be staying in while you’re there. “It’s all so romantic, though—even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. I hope you know you’re doing a good thing, in the end.”

You force your facial muscles into a smile, though it is a ghostly and fleeting one. “Thank you.”

Either way, you will have to wait until nighttime to know if Raziel’s words come true or not; the sun is still high in the sky. It’s only midday. You’ve never before hated the sunlight, but right now you curse the sun’s rays that elongate the time between you and your lover.

—

“You all, give him some damn space,” Ten says, trying to pull the younger vampires away so they won’t crowd around the coffin. “He doesn’t need the scare of his life looking at all your faces when he wakes up.” Despite trying his best to be the voice of reason, Ten also has to refuse the urge to station himself beside the coffin and watch for the slightest movement of eyelids, the tiniest twitch of the lips. His hands shake from the frayed nerves of a week of nothing but death and gloom, and even though he doesn’t need to sleep, he thinks he will be out for at least two days after all of this is over.

There is no set time, no designated signal for when—or the dreaded if—Lucas will awaken. The waiting game feels longer than it really is, especially with the hours until the funeral commences steadily counting down. However, it is not very long before there’s a big sucking breath coming from the coffin, the sudden sound of lungs being filled after a week of complete stillness. Everyone rushes back to the bier when this happens, peering wildly inside the coffin.

Lucas’s eyelids flutter for an eternity before shooting open. He immediately seems distressed upon waking, sitting up out of the coffin so quick that it stutters on its stand, and the others have to steady it before it tips over.

“Xuxi...are you okay?” Sicheng asks, voice hushed with nervousness. Despite his unending anger and distress about the situation, Kun has also crowded in to witness Lucas’s awakening, and he visibly sags with relief to see the younger man is at last awake.

The look in Lucas’s eyes is wild. They are momentarily afraid that maybe something has gone wrong with the potion—maybe it has affected his mind somehow and he doesn’t remember any of them— but then he says,

“Y/N. Is Y/N okay?”

“We don’t know,” Sicheng replies. “I mean, hopefully. But it was safer to not have so much cross-communication going on—you’ll have to go to the meeting spot to find out…”

Though the reasons for this make sense, this does not provide consolation. Lucas fumbles his way out of the coffin with the men’s help. It’s clear he’s still disoriented, which makes them even more nervous, if that’s possible at this point.

“You should drink some blood before you leave,” Hendery suggests, and everyone else agrees. Lucas won’t argue that, so he downs one of the blood bags they have stored until he feels a little more like himself.

“You have to go soon, the funeral is set to start in another hour—we’ll have to leave—” Yangyang warns him, though the words fade at the end of his sentence. He doesn’t know how to continue his thought or how to even begin saying goodbye.

Lucas fills that gap by steeling himself and saying his farewells to each of them in turn, though his eyes are troubled and his chin crumples like he might cry at any moment.

“Don’t say I never helped you out with anything,” Ten says, a few tears slipping down his cheeks. Being separated is painful, but it’ll ultimately serve its purpose of giving Lucas a chance at having a love that none of them could. After seeing Kun suffer the way he did after losing Jingyi, Ten wants to spare another one of his mates from dealing with the same fate.

When Lucas gets to Kun, there is a slight awkward silence and a swift exchange of glances—Lucas’s soft gaze butting up against Kun’s more solid one, which is simultaneously pleading to him and rebuking him for his actions. Still, Kun embraces him tightly enough that their bodies could join together.

“Xuxi…” Kun starts, “I don’t…” And then his words break, leaving an unspoken thought between them.

“One day, you’ll forgive me for this,” Lucas whispers to the older man. Kun gives him an endlessly hurt look in return, silently asking him how he could even conceive those words. When they separate from each other, it’s with much reluctance. Lucas looks at them all and nods once, his mouth tight with grief.

“Right. Time to go, then.”

—

You awake in the middle of the night to cool fingers on the side of your face, which startles you completely out of your sleep. Opening your eyes to an unfamiliar room scares you even more, and it takes you a moment to remember why your surroundings have changed. The knowledge comes back to you quickly when a large palm slips against your own, long fingers twining with yours.

“Xuxi,” you whisper quietly, the sound of his name hanging in the air like a prayer. One of the last few times you’ll be able to freely call him that, except in private.

You can’t see his figure well with all the lights turned out, but he had no problem navigating through the dark to reach your bedside. Wanting desperately to see his face, you fumble around for the bedside lamp switch before turning it on.

“Y/N…” Lucas’s face is suddenly illuminated to you in all its golden glory, a myriad of emotions flickering over his features.

“I didn’t even hear you come in,” you say breathlessly. You’re somewhat sad and wish you could’ve met him at the door, embraced him after his long trip, but it doesn’t much matter anymore because he’s here now.

“Poor Y/N. My baby must’ve been so tired.” Lucas bumps his forehead against yours, his whole body drooping with relief as he practically sinks into you, and you giggle a little as you complain about having to hold his weight up. There is a tingle behind your eyes that threatens to turn into a sudden burst of tears, but you try to hold them at bay for a while longer.

“Are we safe?” he whispers, needing your confirmation. “Raziel said so. But...are we really safe?”

“That’s frightening to even think about,” you reply quietly. “We can’t stay here too long, but for now…I think we will be.” Lucas nods without a word, still holding your hand. His blood-scent is completely absent, as it usually is when he’s around you, and you know he’s used the blockers. Soon, with the ability to go out together and not be arrested or threatened for it, that will not be necessary to disguise his vampirism anymore. “It...won’t be easy.”

“No, but the things we want out of life usually aren’t.”

You squeeze his hand. “Raziel will help take care of things for us. It won’t all be trials and tribulations. I hope.” More hesitantly, you ask him, “What was it like? Being dead?” You know that vampires, being once human, still have souls and an afterlife to go to like most other living beings.

The look on his face is worrying. He doesn’t meet your eyes; he only shakes his head and stares at your joined hands. “It was cold without you.” His lips pull into a weak and chapped smile, if only to quiet your worrying, but that doesn’t work as intended. You decide to leave it for now, figuring there will be more time to talk about it when he feels ready.

Turning the light back off, you both press your bodies together as close as they can physically get, Lucas’s head on your chest and his long legs all jumbled together with yours. You fall asleep before he does, lulled away by his comforting and safe presence. He stays awake for a while longer, staring into the dark and the dark staring back into him, before everything else falls away.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if vampire Bella took Renesmee and ran away with her? What do you think would happen?

Well that would be an entirely different story on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin.

First, when is Bella running away and why?

Per your ask, you specify that Bella is a vampire. This means that this is not beginning of Breaking Dawn AU where Bella, terrified Edward and the Cullens will force her to abort, flees from them in order to save Renesmee’s life (sacrificing her own in the process). 

For the record, though you didn’t ask, I imagine Bella would have a terrible time, starving in the jungle in Brazil, probably drinking the blood of dead road kill until Renesmee pulls an alien and bursts out of her womb and stomach. Renesmee then eats her mother’s corpse.

Edward would never find her because he’s an awful tracker, he’d probably do what he does best, goes to Rio. Eventually, he shows back up on Aro’s doorstep telling him it’s time for assisted suicide again, because Bella is definitely dead this time. Just to make sure they actually do it this time, he walked into Volterra shirtless.

Aro just stares, gets up, and walks out of the room. He has a very terrible phone call to make to Carlisle and then a hybrid vampire (and probably an immortal child) to track down somewhere in South America.

Caius looks at Marcus, Marcus looks at nothing, Caius tries to decide if he’s more insulted by being Edward Cullen’s assisted suicide express or by Edward Cullen’s existence. It’s a very tough call. I imagine that, rather than let Edward slip away again after breaking the law several times over now, Caius goes, “Okay” and lights him on fire.

But you specified that Bella’s a vampire, meaning this is happening post birth and possibly post Breaking Dawn.

To be honest, I think towards the end of Breaking Dawn, Bella’s left the planet. Her world is a surreal haze that has nothing to do with reality. She had this horrific pregnancy, she actually died, went through three days of agony, and is now this alien being.

She prances through fields of flowers in beautiful clothes, she has a lovely five-year-old precocious daughter, he has Edward and a small little cabin where they have the world’s tamest sex, she’s able to keep Charlie in her life, the realities of vampirism are miles away from her.

Bella’s not living on Earth anymore, she’s in the headspace only Esme of the books lives in. And, to be honest, I think Bella’s doomed to become Esme 2.0. Bella will go full incest at high school (as you know she, Renesmee, and Edward will be posing as triplets), probably bake cookies for Renesmee (who probably can’t even eat them), thinks vampire hunts are the equivalent to camping and a wonderful bonding experience, has 0 awareness that every relationship in her life is falling apart, and is just this deeply weird and frankly creepy person.

Renesmee is more... a concept to Bella than a person. I mean, I don’t blame Bella in this, Bella goes from never thinking about having kids to suddenly having an alien five-year-old in a month. How do you process that?

The damning part is Bella thinks she knows her daughter very well. She looks at Renesmee and sees this alien thing that she can’t gauge at all (she keeps trying to guess Renemsee’s physical and mental age in human terms when Renesmee isn’t remotely human, her DNA is completely different, she just has this human shell). Bella concludes she’s very mature and adult in mentality. Renesmee seems to read Bella’s favorite books, (which by the way are really weird reading material for children), and Bella bonds with her daughter by reading Wuthering Heights to her alien child. 

Bella sees a miniature Edward in her child (in terms of sophistication and intelligence) and thinks everything’s wonderful.

Bella’s life is perfect. Everyone else’s lives, including Renesmee’s, are perfect. Why would she ever leave?

So, for Bella to take Renesmee and run, we need a catalyst.

I believe Edward will inevitably cheat on her (yes, I know, I haven’t posted a meta yet but you can’t simply open the dark box labeled Edward Cullen and emerge unscathed, these things take time). But I think that would prompt Bella herself to leave or, more likely, be the Yoko Ono effect that breaks up the Cullen coven.

It’d be devastating, but has nothing to do with Renesmee. I imagine Renesmee would just sit there, eating rats like she’s eating popcorn, looking rather bored as she saw this coming ages ago and she has no idea why everyone’s losing their collective minds.

I also imagine she takes this as permission as that she can eat Edward (I imagine Renesmee and Edward’s relationship is... not good, but that’s for another meta).

The Romanians may come calling and try to sweet talk Bella into the necessity of destroying the Volturi. That, or Edward himself will decide it’s his god given mission to destroy the Volturi and free mankind and vampirekind from their tyranny.

However, while that will result in a horrific dystopia, it doesn’t necessitate Bella and Renesmee breaking off from the coven. That, and Bella’s so far from reality, that I imagine it doesn’t sink in for a long time and perhaps ever that she now lives in a hellscape.

I think it’d have to be a direct threat to Renesmee from Edward. And a clear, non-negotiable, horrifying threat at that (which Edward is fully capable of).

I say Edward, because that would be the biggest betrayal to Bella. After New Moon, I believe that Bella thinks her fate with the family rests on Edward’s opinion alone. Edward can make them flip on her in an instant. If it was someone else threatening Renesmee, then Edward could come with her or they could do something about whoever’s gone crazy.

If Edward decides that, no, it is time to kill the demon child then Bella will lose faith in the entire coven. She’ll panic, and she will run with Renesmee as far and as fast as she can.

Volterra’s off the table thanks to the Breaking Dawn fiasco, I imagine Bella would be too paranoid to seek out any of Carlisle’s friends as she’d lump Carlisle in with the threat that is Edward. So, likely, she and Renesmee would go to Antarctica or somewhere else completely uninhabited.

Edward would go to Rio.

Bella and Renesmee would probably finally talk to one another. Though it’s probably mostly Renesmee trying to deal with the emotional, depressed, mess that is her mother whose entire fantasy has now completely fallen apart.

Renesmee gets to be the new Jake!

Carlisle, meanwhile, is wherever the Cullen family has moved to, trying to process what even happened and what he’s going to do. He’s probably lost all faith in Edward and finally acknowledged that something’s not right and is desperately trying to get a hold of Bella and Renesmee, who aren’t answering his phone calls.

[nileqt87]

How I’d write a Buffy/Angel spinoff!

I still say the best spinoff they could possibly ever make would be all the Chosen Slayers getting deactivated, then Buffy and a Shanshu'd Angel (IMO, this plot really would only work with Angel, because it actually matches his story arc, not Spike's, to want a human life and fatherhood) have a daughter who grows up not knowing the truth about her parents (and half-brother!) until it's forced to come out.

I would particularly note that the first thing that happens to newly-called Slayers is their prophetic dreams. If ever there was a way to start breaking secrets to this new heroine that also serves as flashback exposition featuring the old shows, this seems custom-built for it. It’s exposition for the audience that never saw the old shows as well as an introduction to a key Slayer ability, but most importantly, it’s personal family revelations that go far deeper than historical flashbacks of unrelated persons or monsters that mean nothing personal. These would be scandalous secrets for a baby Slayer, given Buffy was the rule-breaking Slayer who is most famous for having romantic relationships with the very creatures she’s supposed to slay. Angelus would be the worst family secret of all! This story has all the makings of an existential crisis before acceptance. That would also be a good place to drop in Connor’s history. Buffy never actually got to react to that bombshell either, so that would be an interesting drama with her, as well. Buffy and Angel both tended to feature heavily in prophetic dreams, so it also just feels right to continue that.

If there's some reason why David Boreanaz (who, let's face it, is really not getting younger and SEAL Team can't go on forever) can't or is unwilling to appear, one could have an explanation that Wolfram & Hart has had him trapped in a holding dimension for years as punishment.

You could even build an arc around that with Buffy or the daughter trying to find him. Basically, a kind way of explaining Angel's absence if necessary and Buffy unfortunately having to mirror her single mother (which was a fear of hers), despite it being no fault of Angel's. It would be yet more cruelty for him to miss out on yet another child growing up, which would be a dramatic plot point itself. It could actually become a story where he does matter quite a lot, despite initial absence or mystery.

An even bigger shock than mom having Slayer superpowers and a world full of supernatural forces would be a reveal that dad is a 394+-year-old (depends on if you count hell--in a modern-day spinoff, Angel is rapidly approaching 400 years!) ex-vampire.

The most interesting and fitting story you could ever do with a maturing Buffy would be having her be a mother and trying to have a normal life.

This would also give Sarah Michelle Gellar a starring role that allows her to be age-appropriate, yet also having a younger generation that the original audience can still care about because she isn't completely divorced from the two previous shows in the way that an unrelated Slayer spinoff would be. It allows the core storylines of *both* shows to truly matter, far more than a Buffy Steele-Gunn offspring would.

---

Just a a few notes about my pitch for a continuation that works with the real ages of actors and their availability... I should also note that Xander (played by Nick, anyway--Kelly might work for a flashback) is a character who could never appear in live-action again, so maybe he could be used as another event that contributed to Buffy's retirement besides pregnancy.

If the Shanshu and conception were directly post-NFA, any offspring would be 16 years old right now. IMO, if there were any plans to give SMG a series with her in a major supporting role, this just means that the space for how long between NFA and the Shanshu or how long Bangel got to be with each other widens for however many years it would take to revive the franchise.

I strongly believe that the best option for the franchise would be a back-to-the-suburbs story exploring age-appropriate Buffy facing motherhood, rather than trying to turn Buffy into a war general surrounded by nothing but subordinates (horribly alienating future for her) with a lack of equals or a grounded setting à la the season 8 comics. If you want to introduce the Buffyverse to a new audience whom you can't expect to watch 24-year-old shows until they're interested enough by the revival, you're going to have to ground characters in a relatable reality.

As for how a new Slayer would be called after deactivation, I firmly believe the line is through Faith now anyway, so it would just take her dying for a minute à la Prophecy Girl for a new Slayer to be called. I would definitely want Faith in the show!

--- Facebook discussion

I feel like SMG's concern was less wanting to reprise the role entirely, but more concern that she'd be expected to play the same exact role in her 40s. This is giving her a role that fits a woman (and a mother in real life) who is in her 40s and is a major supporting role rather than he young lead whose story is being centered on.

As for the Angel situation, SMG might actually be more willing to return if she could beg DB to come back for perhaps an initially-limited role and the scenario is one I believe she'd actually support, as it fits with her preferences!

While it might seem that Buffy as a single mother retreads the original, Angel is obviously nothing like the Hank situation (not to mention Joyce and Hank being completely clueless), so the circumstances of the father would be quite different from Buffy's own situation, while also feeding into her own stated fears about her future.

This also brings up all the conversations in Bad Eggs, The Prom and the Chosen cookie dough analogy (children are mentioned again) to the forefront. Unlike with the other options, it was something that came up repeatedly. Admittedly, it was always by Angel due to his infertility and the human life he most desired; all of which ended up being an important part of *his* story.

However, a part of Bad Eggs that is woefully underrated is that Buffy was disappointed when Angel told her vampires can't have children. She immediately covers it up with a babble speech and then starts making excuses for why Slayers are unlikely to have that kind of future. Young Buffy did not disregard it because she didn't want children ever at all, but because the person whom she saw that future with was someone who couldn't have them.

Enter Nikki Wood, where Buffy learns that at least one Slayer was definitely a mother, which she was clearly surprised by.

That's another reason why I can see Buffy, if she got her hopes up with post-Shanshu Angel and conceived, would do anything to be a good mom by not being all about "the mission". She would never want her child to be raised without parents. And I think she'd be doubly sensitive to that, not just because of Nikki, but because of Hank leaving and Joyce dying.

Buffy also became surrogate mother to Dawn, who was made out of her (in a sense, she is her real mother), so Angel's situation with Connor actually had a direct mirror in Buffy's situation with Dawn.

But those conversations were also not just about wished-for children that couldn't be conceived, but also asking Buffy to think about what she wants for her future if she took out the belief that Slayers don't live long enough to have one.

This show would be the answer to what happens to a Slayer when she does live long enough to have the future she barely wanted to get her hopes up for before.

Buffy (ditto Angel) is the character for which this story actually has a ton of setup in the shows themselves. These characters talked about it! And the circumstances are really nothing like Joyce and Hank, even if the initial setup plays into both Buffy and Angel's worst nightmare scenarios about parenthood: being a single mother and not getting to raise the miracle child you thought you'd never have. That kind of bittersweet writing that shirks too-good-to-be-true wish-fulfillment is a cornerstone of what makes it a Buffyverse storyline. If the daughter's family lied to her about their history to keep her safe and protect her from knowing what goes bump in the night (making them the polar opposites of Hank and Joyce in regards to knowing all too well--especially Angel's experience of being the worst thing you could bump into at night, rather than utterly clueless), that would certainly be a conflict. Especially if she found out in a particularly shocking way (say, prophetic dreams). And if Angel (I'd like to imagine he has the company of ghost!Wesley and maybe Illyria and Spike) has been taken for punishment by Wolfram & Hart, it might really confuse her if she doesn't know that he didn't just leave or some other excuse Buffy covered it up with. Wolfram & Hart would also probably love the irony of Angel getting what he most desires (to be human and a father), only to punish him with it by wasting his remaining years separated from all that he loves.

[jinxpantsu]

If your requests are open and your willing to, would you be able to do the brothers reacting to a trans MC? 👉🏻👈🏻 preferably female to male, but either way is fine! Sorry if your not comfy with this type of request >~<

Anon, just because you were afraid that I would turn down your request, I am going to PROVE to you how much it doesn’t bother me I'm going to do the 7 brothers AND the side characters. Because you BETTER BELEIVE we have a cast of supportive people!! Yessir!!!

I myself am the twin sister of my late twin brother, who was also FtM! I’ll be using his memory as inspiration, if you do not mind? Thank you for requesting this!

~

Lucifer

At first he presumed you were just not girly. He didn't really mind your behavior or way of dressing, so long as you got your tasks done on time and were on your best behavior.

When you cut your hair and stopped wearing that nail polish (despite Asmo’s pleading) he still thought nothing of it. You wore pants, and started trying your best to drop hints, and thankfully, Lucifer isn’t an idiot.

So what you’re telling me is that we’ve made you uncomfortable when referring to you as a woman? If that is the case, MC, then we would be more than happy to refer to you as anything you request. You only need to say the word.

He is dedicated to making sure you’re happy and comfortable here. He and his brothers may be demons, but they aren’t heartless. They were once angels too. He goes through the process with you, if you were shaky or unsure of what to do in the past. If you want HRT, surgery, need a new wardrobe, he and his brothers will be the first to provide. Whatever to keep you happy in your skin.

Mammon

Oh. Honestly speaking, he’ll still love you regardless of what form your body takes. He liked the way you looked, but secretly he can’t wait to see how you’ll look after you transition.

Before we even get to that point though, it takes a lot of hint dropping for him to get it. And even then, he has to go and ask the others what you’re trying to tell him. Of course he gets picked on a little bit for it, but once he figures it out he’s really happy you were comfortable enough to tell him.

Hell, he might get a job just so he can help you be able to afford all the things you’ll need to properly transition. Some of the details make him blush quite a bit, and if you’re uncomfortable with touches or any signs of affection during your process of transitioning, he will politely refrain from making his human uncomfortable.

He’s taking you to Majolish and you are going to get your ENTIRE wardrobe redone. Courtesy of The GREAT Mammon! You should feel grateful that he’s working this hard to make you happy. I mean c’mon, he LOVES you! He can’t wait to love you more after you’ve become the man you always were deep down inside.

Leviathan

He does notice that you act different from other women. Not that he minds it, not at all. His Henry is still the same old Henry. Just a little bit different. He’s a little bit different too, there’s nothing wrong with that. Right?!

It’s when you start preferring to be called Henry as opposed to your birth name, do the cogs start churning in his brain. He would have suspected at first that maybe you just were very good friends with him and loved TSL almost as much as him.

He’s seen a few heart-warming anime about it. Specifically one about a girl becoming a boy, and the struggles he went through while attending school. The title wasn’t too important to him, but now that he had a reference for what you were dealing with, he was a bit happy. He just wanted to wait until the moment was right to bring it up to you. Perhaps his Henry was really a Henry after all!

When the moment comes, he’s proud to say the least. He throws his arms around you happily, and promises to be there by your side every step of the way. He’s not exactly rolling in money, but an Otaku finds a way. The Lord of Shadows is your best friend ever, and he can’t wait to see the before and after pictures of your full transition!

Satan

It started with a book you read with him. He didn’t fully comprehend your situation, but he knew you didn’t act like normal girls. It reminded him of a character in a book he read a few weeks ago. The guy didn’t really act like a girl.

While sweet and thoughtful, this character didn’t hit the nail on the head in some ways. When talking over the book with you, you explained just as much to him. The energy was there, but it was backwards for you. He picked up on it immediately.

So what you’re telling me is, you understand this characters struggle with themselves, and can relate to it. But something about it is backwards? A little smile appears on his face as it fully dawns on him. MC, I think I’ll be able to assist you in any way you need.

With Satan’s wonderful connections across the entire Devildom, it wasn’t long before you were getting some of the best treatment possible. The prices seemed a bit scary, but he assured you everything was being taken care of behind the scenes. If you needed to worry about anything, it would be the tiring, long process to come with transitioning. He’ll be sure it goes relatively smoothly for you, though!

Asmodeus

Oh he gets it immediately. Darling why didn’t you just say so in the first place?

He’s dragging you back to your room, rambling the entire time about how he can’t wait to take you out and go shopping. He puts together a devious little page to gather up donations and the like to support your transitioning. His fans would be HONORED to pitch in, right?

In the mean time, he stops pampering you with makeup and his other routines that you used to tolerate for the sake of being cordial. He still pushes for the nail polish, since gender is simply a social concept and he’s ready to crush it into dust any chance he can get. But it’s not about him, it’s about you.

Soon your room is painted a new color, your dresses and skirts and frilly outfits are tossed out for more appropriate attire for your sex, and he’s taking photos for his Devilgram page to show everyone how beautiful you are, even while going through the long process!

Beelzebub

You and Beel got along fabulously. He seemed astonished that a female was interested in all these manly habits he indulged in. He heard from some of the guys on his team that you were interested in playing Fangol. As evidenced by how you always showed up to his practices and games, no matter if they were home or away.

He figured you were just a really big fan of sports. But then you even started working out with him, and giving him suggestions and tips on how to get even more out of his workouts at the gym. You were really passionate about this.

Let’s not kid ourselves, he probably does not pick up on any of the signs. You have tot ell him, and you have to tell him firmly. You are a man, just like him. When you do tell him, however, he’s eager to help you transition. Imagine having another guy in the house who loves Fangol as much as you do!?

He isn’t much aside from emotional support through the transitions, and he coddles you when you have those bad days. If you want to eat something, he’ll rush to the kitchen and cook you a full meal before you move an inch. You’re allowed to lay in bed today. Let him handle the heavy load of work for you.

Belphegor

Oh wow, look at that. He picked it up almost immediately.

I mean, there’s no way a girl would act the way you do, right? Dress the way you do. Be the way you are. He doesn’t care though, and just wants you to be happy. If that means you transition into a man, then hell, he’s on board with you.

He may be a lazy bastard, but he knows when it’s time to get up and work hard to get something. That was what he was like as an angel, anyways. Working at Hell’s Kitchen is the worst, and you hear him complain about as much, but he smiles and assures you that it’s all for a good reason.

His final gift to you to apologize about the Incident, is money. Now at first glance it seems like something Mammon would do. Probably. In reality though, this is the money that will be going towards your HRT. He doesn’t know if you want to fully transition or not, but if you want that top surgery, he can help pay for that too. He’ll do anything to make sure you’re happy and healthy in your own body.

Diavolo

It really is a house of men, isn’t it?

He’s glad though, truly, that you were comfortable coming to him about it. Don’t bother ever opening your wallet to pay for any therapy, medication, or surgery. As the Prince of the Devildom, he would be more than happy to get you doctors of all sorts to help you. No questions asked!

It might be a bit overwhelming at first, but the news is exciting. If the Prince accepts you so readily, it gives you hope that other demons will as well. Pretty soon you’re going through your processes, and Diavolo couldn’t be happier to see it happening.

You really is a wonderful guy, and he’s glad he’s getting to experience the changes you take in your life. 

Barbatos

To say he didn’t suspect this would be an understatement.

Ever silent and respectful though, he never spoke a word of it. You are probably uncomfortable with people assuming it, even though it’s true. An insecurity that humans seem to deal with, although unfortunate.

However, when the news is broken during a meeting between you, Lucifer, he, and the Prince himself, a smile creeps on his face.

He’s happy to hear that you are so comfortable speaking about this sort of thing. He knows it must be tough, having hidden your true feelings for so long. He prepares a delicious tea with small treats, to celebrate your coming out, and transitioning.

Simeon (and Luke)

Oh dear. God loves you, still. Don’t worry about this. He doesn’t see you as an imperfection.

They assures you constantly that you have their full support, and that will never change. You are not broken, you are not unwanted, and you are not strange. You are a regular trans man in their eyes, and they will defend you on that.

Simeon almost takes on a fatherly role to you, wanting to make sure everything goes as smooth as possible. He probably has done a bit of research in preparations for your transition, and all the nasty little side effects that come with it are worrying him.

However, once it’s all over, Luke and Simeon are glad you came out on top. And my, what a handsome man you make!

Solomon

He figured, but didn’t want to assume. I mean, who the hell is he?

He’s got a few spells for this though, make it quick and painless. One wave of a wand and POOF! Woman no more!

Oh but that’s probably dangerous. The shifty bastard. You would much rather do it the regular way; and not have your insides and outsides shifted around by some crazy sorcerer.

He doesn’t protest much, but that does suck. Hehe. Oh well. You can count on him to support you through it all!

[ezrasarm]

Coming Out As Asexual/Aspec

Pairings: Javier Pena x reader, Marcus Pike x reader, Din Djarin x reader, Ezra x reader, Frankie Morales x reader

Word count: 2.3K (oops)

Warnings: discussions of sexuality, depictions of main characters as Aspec

A/n: I apologize these were meant to be head canons and a few of them wound up turning into mini fics. I would like to thank @dishonouringmycow for supplying many ideas and helping me concoct these for you and @kiss-evans for her insight as well. These were a lot of fun to write! We’ve written these HCs in hopes that they will be inclusive and relatable to most ace/demi-/greysexual folks and anyone in between. We hope you like them!

[masterlist]

Javier Peña

Telling Javi is a little tricky.

Given the time period, and the fact that asexuality was hardly a word let alone a widely accepted concept, Javier didn’t stand a chance when you went about explaining to him your “unconventional” relationship with sexual attraction.

You didn’t even fully understand it yourself at that point which is why you were terrified when you felt you owed him an explanation for turning him down.

You and Javi had been dancing around each other since pretty much the moment you landed in Bogata.

You knew you cared about him more than the average coworker and Steve didn’t hesitate to tease either of you mercilessly for it with every chance he got.

But there was a reason you had been avoiding acting on those feelings you harboured for him and a reason you were so terrified when he reciprocated them.

Silence overwhelms the small stakeout vehicle when you tell him.

He doesn’t get it.

“Oh.”

The disappointment that pours off of him is palpable.

This really wasn’t the reaction he was expecting to the heartfelt confession he had mustered up the courage for only moments ago.

“Javi,” You sigh, “It’s not like that. It’s not personal. I don’t feel attracted to anyone that way.” You reiterate but he still seems convinced that this is just an elaborate attempt to spare his feelings.

“You don’t have to do that, you know? You don’t have to let me down easy.”

“That’s not what this is. I really just don’t operate that way.”

You had seen the girls coming and going from his apartment across the hall. You knew how he chose to blow off steam after stressful days at work and you knew you couldn’t keep up with that.

“I don’t think I can be there for you like you want me to.”

It takes a moment for it to dawn on him what you mean and you think he finally takes the hint when another ‘oh’ escapes him.

“I don’t need-“ He starts up but cuts himself off when you give him a pointed look.

“I really, really wanted this to work.” He says after what feels like hours of you discussing all the reasons you would wind up resenting each other if you went down that path. All the fears you had of starting something up with him.

“Me too.” You hum solemnly when you deflate to lean into his side and rest your head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

He’s quick to shake his head and whisper a quiet “Don’t apologize.” When he wraps an arm around you and places a kiss to the top of your head.

You both walk away from that stakeout with heavy hearts but lighter shoulders and although it takes some time to heal you learn to show how much you care about each other in different ways.

Now he slings an arm around your shoulders when you’re getting unwanted attention on a night out.

You stay up drinking with him so he doesn’t have to brood alone after a particularly tiring day.

Soft touches and reassuring words come easier between you two.

Most importantly you’re both happy and you haven’t lost each other.

Marcus Pike

Marcus is a little less clueless.

He knows Asexuality exists and has a vague sense of what it is, he just doesn’t know a whole lot about it.

There’s not much pressure when you tell him.

It comes as a bit of a disclaimer early in your relationship and you try not to make a big deal of it. You just want to make sure that he’s aware as your relationship progresses.

Marcus, ever the sweet and compassionate boyfriend is attentive and understanding as you speak.

The words that seem to stick out in his mind come at the only point when the slightest bit of doubt weens it’s way into your voice, “I just wanted to make sure that that’s- that I’m enough for you.”

His heart stops and he’s overcome by a feeling of both shock and sorrow that you could ever think such a thing of yourself.

“Of course. Of course, you’re enough.”

“You’re more than enough. You’re… you’re everything.”

What you don’t see is the way that after this conversation he finds himself wracking up more and more questions that he’s too scared to ask you. Not because he’s afraid of the answer but because he doesn’t want to overstep or make you uncomfortable.

So naturally, he turns to the next best thing.

The internet.

What he fails to realize is how broad a spectrum of asexuality there is and all he gets is more and more confused.

Marcus accidentally develops a following on Aspec Reddit forums for trying to ask people questions and them all just going “aww, Hun” at this poor clueless bean and swooning over how much he cares about you.

Despite the enthusiasm and volume of their responses, they don’t really add much clarity beyond “Hey, maybe you should ask your SO”

Instead, he runs around treating you like glass while he tries to buck up the courage to actually talk to you about it until on a movie night as he awkwardly tries to contort himself around you so he’s cuddling you… without touching you, you finally snap.

“Marcus! What is going on?”

That’s when he finally and rather sheepishly admits that he wants you to tell him more about your sexuality.

“Oh.”

You pause the movie and give him your full attention as you try and talk him through as much as you’re able to explain until suddenly you’re stuck for an answer and you look up at him with rather watery eyes as you admit you have no idea and suddenly you’re the one having the existential crisis.

“Oh, oh no. It’s alright, we can figure it out together! Shhh, it’s all fine. Please don’t cry! Reddit didn’t tell me this would happen!”

“Who-ddit?”

Din Djarin

Coming out to Din is rather anticlimactic.

He doesn’t have much to say beyond “Okay.”

You’re a little confused at first.

That went… too well.

It’s a while later when he brings it up again that you begin to realize why.

There’s no hesitation or taboo, he’s quite straight forward when he asks why you were so nervous.

At first, you’re not so sure what to say. Wasn’t that kind of obvious?

“Not everyone takes it so well.” You shrug thinking back to past relationships where your partners seemed to expect you to give them more than you were willing to.

You could practically see the gears turning behind his visor and it’s only now that you connect the dots and his reaction from before seems to add up.

To him, that was the norm.

It makes sense the more you think about it.

In all the time you had spent travelling with him, all the objectively beautiful women, men and everyone else in between that had crossed your paths, all the slurs that had been thrown at him by drunkards in cantinas about how he fucks with all that armour on, all the rather compromising situations you had found yourself in with him before and you had never caught his gaze wander or heard him express any indication of interest in yourself or anyone in that way.

You had always put it down to his creed. As far as you were aware such things were forbidden for people of his faith but you’re left with an odd sense of comfort as you realized that wasn’t the case.

Perhaps this was his strange little way of letting you know you weren’t alone.

Ezra

When you met Ezra you were prepared for the worst.

A guy as cocky and loquacious as him and you just trying to keep your head down in the busy bar and enjoy your drink in peace after a rough day.

You didn’t have high hopes when he swung into the booth across from you and started down whatever elaborate story he had decided would impress you enough to get you into bed.

“It’s my missing appendage, isn’t it?” he asks when you quite clearly don’t bite.

He’s already moving to leave you be when your eyebrows knit together in confusion and your eyes blow wide as you’re hit with a sudden wave of guilt.

You had grown used to deflecting advances like this but something about the way he said it, the bold, charismatic man suddenly looking like a kicked puppy made your guts churn.

You didn’t normally give an explanation, you didn’t feel you owed anyone that, especially not a stranger and yet here you were.

“What? No! No, I actually think you’re very good looking and charming and all those things people look for in a partner, I’m just not particularly one for casual hookups.” You say looking around the room where you now felt wildly out of place with just about all of its inhabitants presumably looking to get laid or trying to forget someone they couldn’t do so with.

“...Or any hookups really.” You correct yourself and watch as the disappointed look on his face morphs into a glint of curiosity.

“You a uh- a spade?” He asks resettling into the booth, an oblivious smile settling on his cheeks when you laugh at him.

You spend until last-call deeply enthralled in conversation and comforted by one another’s company.

That’s all either of you were here for in the first place, to feel a little less lonely.

You’re only pried apart by the closing of the bar, the nag of sleep hot on your heels and the promise that this wouldn’t be the last you saw of each other.

Frankie Morales

Frankie knew you were asexual.

You had told him before, he just didn’t entirely understand what that meant until much later on.

He seemed familiar with the term but his knowledge of the concept didn’t seem to extend beyond a basic definition.

Frankie’s first wife was his first for a lot of things. First girlfriend, first kiss, first love, first lover, first breakup.

He took the divorce pretty hard, as anyone would.

They’d gotten married so young, before he was deployed, that the guys had never seen him single before and neither had he really.

It took a long time for him to recover and by then he was content. ‘not in a particularly big rush to start down the relationship path and get hurt again’ is how he had phrased it to you once in confidence.

But another factor that he failed to recognize fully at the time was that he just hadn’t found anyone he was interested in in that way.

He’d tried going on a couple of dates but none of them clicked and it just left him feeling more alone.

It was after Tom died, almost five years after his divorce that the guys finally called him on it.

At first they just assumed the way he had been acting was about Tom and in a sense it was, Tom was the only one who had been through a divorce before, he was the only one who really understood and talked him through it when the going got tough.

Will was the one to put the pieces together and realize that the issue wasn’t Tom so much as Frankie getting more and more tired of being on his own.

His intentions were well meaning. They were just trying to help.

All they wanted was to see him happy but the more the boys seemed to try and set him up, the more resistance they were met with and even Frankie couldn’t figure out why until he was sat, venting to you about it one night.

“How did you know you were ace?” He blurts out suddenly and you’re a little lost for words, you weren’t really expecting this conversation to go this way but it was obviously something he had been considering for a while.

“Sorry that wasn’t a fair question,” He says when he notices you’re struggling, “I just- they keep trying to set me up with, who I’m sure are some really great people, but it’s all on this little tiny screen and all you see are a couple photos and maybe a blurb if you’re lucky and there’s just no…”

“Connection?” You suggest. Those big puppy eyes shoot up to you from where they were fixed on the counter in front of him and he gives you a slight nod.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He sighs and your heart breaks a little looking at him like that before you round the counter and pull him into a hug. “I’ve felt attraction before but I look at the guys and it feels like it takes so much more for me to get to that point than them.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you.” You assure him gently, brushing your fingers through his hair when you pull away to give him a reassuring smile. “Sounds like you could be on the asexuality spectrum.”

“There’s a spectrum?”

[masterlist]

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[chibimyumi]

Hello Chibimyumi! This isn't Kuro-related at all, but I wanted to ask if you are watching the current series "MARS RED," as, from how you've described your tastes, its content/presentation seem like something you'd enjoy. It adapts stage readings, so its visual vocabulary is steeped in the theatre, & the writing is pleasantly subtle with a lot communicated through nonverbal character "acting"- much different from how exaggerated most anime is. If you are watching, I'd love to hear your thoughts

【Related post: Furukawa in MARS RED Super Sound Theatre】

Dear Anon,

My apologies for the late reply! When I received your ask I hadn’t watched MARS RED yet, that is why I decided to wait for a bit before answering you. Your ask reminded me to watch this anime which I had shelved for a bit.

Now I am watching it, and I am enjoying it very much. So thank you for reminding me (*´▽｀*) I am also really happy that you not just guessed, but even pin-pointed what makes this series my taste! (*≽ω≼*) Flattered.

So, what do I think of the series? Like you said, I really like how subtle this series is, AND YET HAS ITS CAMPINESS!!! I mean, steampunk vampires? Yes.

The world is very mesmerising, and I can just feel like I’m in the Taisho Era. The world feels alive, and that is very important to me. The way the world is drawn and animated brings this incredible atmosphere to it, I think just a few screenshots can give anyone a sample-taste of it.

Save for a few, I think the characters in this show are very likable (I will come back to this a bit later). I don’t see one clear main character; it is just a main character team. And I love that. I like how each character has their own anime-quirk, but most of them are more than just that. In particular I came to like Defrott a lot. He really is what the makers were making him to be. An ancient being trapped in a child’s body. Very often in series I see such character concepts, but I just never quite buy how truly old they are. With Defrott however, I can very clearly see the experience and solitude that has built up inside him from over the centuries, and I love it.

On the downside, the supposed main character is quite flat in the series: Kurusu Shutaro. To me, he is the main “culprit” of the “save for a few” I mentioned above.

The anime adaptation and the Super Sound Theatre share their cores, but otherwise they are quite different. The anime is more world-centred, while the theatre is character-centred. And when I first met Kurusu, it was in the character-centred theatre version. In the theatre version, Kurusu is in his own right the main character, whereas in the anime (so far!) he is a bit delegated to the sidelines, making me wonder: "is....he going to become the main character? If not, why is he in the centre of every poster?"

In the theatre version, Kurusu makes his entrance with a mental breakdown and panic attack, so you immediately get a good glimpse of who he was, what changed for him, and what was at stake. In being turned into a vampire, Kurusu didn't lose his literal life, but he did lose his "life". He can no longer walk under the sun, and he can no longer meet anybody he knew and loved.

In both the anime and the theatre version, an important side-character dies. Without spoiling too much I shall call them "X" for now. In the anime X dies because they tried to lift the debris from character Y who was mortally wounded in a sudden earth quake. In moving the debris, character X was exposed to sunlight which killed them.

In the theatre version, the death of character X is way more meaningful than its animated counterpart. In this universe, vampires come in S, A, B, C and Unranked class. The higher the class, the stronger the vampire, but also the less resilient they are against anti-vampire elements, such as “sunlight”.

The enemy army had a lot of lower ranked soldiers, so they were disadvantaged against the Japanese Vampire Unit which had Kurusu, an A-rank vampire. (One A-rank vampire is the equivalent of an entire unit in power). So in order to gain the upper hand, the enemy strategy was to drag the battle out as long as possible to force the A-rank Kurusu to stay until dawn and let the rising sun take care of him. Character X noticed, so they sacrificed themselves to preserve Kurusu, for Kurusu is the Japanese army’s best weapon.

Upon X’s death, Kurusu let out a terrifying roar of grief......and it was beautiful (´；ω；`)ｳｯ… You just saw the aftermath of what this sacrifice of X did to Kurusu, and how he gradually lost even more of his “humanity” now that he lost his only friend on top of just being preserved as “the best weapon”.

So far I have only seen the 7 episodes that are available of MARS RED anime, but I have yet to see ANYTHING to make me actually care about the supposed main character. It’s not even that Anime!Kurusu doesn’t do anything that makes me care, it’s that he hasn’t even taken any memorable action at all, or even actively partakes in the series.

In the first post from last year linked above I inserted the tag: “....Studio PLEASE don’t make Kurusu a whiny boring self-insert character... I beg of you”......Well... I guess they didn’t do just THAT..... but they just didn’t do ANYTHING with him. BUT, we still have 5 episodes to go! Better late than never!

On net balance, I really, really am enjoying MARS RED anime a lot, and I can’t wait for more!! If I just forget that Kurusu is supposed to be the main character and pretend/accept that in this version the other characters are the focus, the anime is entirely fine!

A definite recommendation for sure! Thank you for that, Anon!

[quidfree]

can you Please write the scene with bakugou's piercing SGDHEFEH the concept is too funny to me !!!

anon you’re lucky 報復性熬夜 is a concept i am firmly attached to so here i am at 1 am rattling this off instead of getting my beauty sleep. please excuse the standard of writing as a result

by the second day, katsuki is seriously considering agreeing to todoroki’s earlier and ambiguously sincere proposal that they play i spy.

he doesn’t know what it is about this particular job that’s so unbearable. no, scratch that- of course he knows what’s unbearable; it’s sat right next to him on a too-small chair in their too-small room staring impassively out of a too-small window. but he’s been thrown into so much shit with icyhot you’d think he’d developed some kind of immunity by now, the way vaccines microdose you on viruses so you can resist the real thing. call katsuki an antivaxxer, he guesses, because he has overdosed on todoroki ever since he met the asshole and he’s still not ready for how far up the wall he’s driving him when they’re stuck together for two straight days without a breather or any contact with the outside world.

cards on the table: stake-outs aren’t his thing. he does them just fine, fuck you very much, but he doesn’t like ‘em. why would he? they’re some ungodly blend of extremely boring and extremely tense, where nothing happens right up until way too long into it and then everything goes to shit unprompted. it’s rare he ever gets called in on jobs like this- people tend to assume he lacks the temperament for it, for one, and for another he’s too useful to lock away for days on end. it’s only because their suspected target is so insanely volatile and dangerous that it’s the two of them waiting for her to show her ugly face- no one else is even allowed in the perimeter. which is fucking fine, but he just wishes the cops would get their shit together for once and actually have the proof ready by the time they call the pros in so he doesn’t have to wait before he goes in guns blazing. instead they talked some bullshit about how critical of a stage this was and blah blah fifteen years of (obviously mediocre) work had gone into setting this trap, etc etc. the point is that it’s led to katsuki stuck in the world’s most disgusting little apartment, staring out of a splintered window for two-going-on-three days with no one but the world’s most annoying prodigy to keep him company. the place is such a dump they’re sleeping on mats in sleeping bags. it’s like fucking UA summer camp, and at this point he’d take the kidnapping over the waiting.

day one wasn’t so bad, right up until he realized there would be a day two. day two is bad from start to finish. they’re supposed to take turns on watch but there’s fuck all else to do except sit on their phones, and katsuki can only quote tweet so much dumb shit before he gets bored. he can’t talk to anyone outside because of confidentiality bullshit, and there’s no point checking work shit when he can’t do anything from where they are. so it’s either silently watching the warehouse or talking to todoroki, and todoroki is a fucking terrible conversationalist.

the thing with icyhot is this: katsuki doesn’t hate him, okay. like, he hates him, but also not really. they’re, at a push, maybe, sort of, friends. verging on close ones. not that he’d say so, but after the amount of dramatic self-sacrifices and final stands against a joint enemy they’ve endured he can’t really muster the energy to argue otherwise. todoroki’s tolerable, sort of maybe. usually katsuki borderline likes working with him, because if nothing else he’s good at what he does, and they know each other too well to be anything but in sync in the field. if they were doing almost anything else he’d be relieved at the choice of pairing.

they are not, however, doing anything else, and todoroki still fucking sucks at talking like a normal person. when he’d woken katsuki up for his shift of night-watch he’d loomed over him ominously like a fucking ghoul and said, voice belying no humor: “do you think plants can feel pain?”

there’s fucking nothing to talk about. anything interesting is essentially vetoed because it’d inevitably distract them from the whole intent observation thing, and katsuki hates small talk on a normal day but especially when todoroki’s doing his ‘alien attempting earth dialect’ bit and asking him about weather or the tokyo transportation system or whatever. so they just sit in semi-silence and occasionally go on very stupid tangents katsuki is glad no one can witness and remain overall bored out of their fucking skulls.

by day three they’ve already exhausted i spy and also the alphabet game and hangman, and katsuki draws the line at tic-tac-toe. todoroki looks implacable as always but his eye has started twitching a little. katsuki tries to think of literally anything that could plausibly take up their time and not take their eyes off the window, comes up short. twister is not a good idea even ignoring their lack of a board. shop talk is so very tempting, but he’s not losing this villain and wasting two days’ suffering because they get carried away on some long-winded discussion, so that’s not an option either.

“how’s your ear?” todoroki says, and at first katsuki thinks he’s really fucking lost it if he’s started asking after the wellbeing of his individual body parts, but then he remembers the last time they saw each other katsuki was throwing himself into the path of some jackass with a trumpeting quirk who nearly blew out his eardrum, so he guesses half ‘n half’s not entirely insane yet. he shrugs, shifts in his chair.

“fine. couldn’t hear shit from it for like three straight days, though. and my balance was fucked.”

“it hasn’t scarred at all.”

“yeah. lame place for a scar,” katsuki says, flexing his fingers absently. they’re all of them more roughed up than they were at UA, but talent and good healers have kept him mostly intact, give or take a few big nasties like the time he got gutted in first year or his near loss of an eye around graduation. privately he suspects genetics have dealt him a good hand, what with his gene donor’s perfect skin, but then todoroki doesn’t have that excuse and he’s not scarred anywhere ugly except the obvious, though katsuki could point blind to most of the nasties he’s accumulated under his suit.

not that he thinks about what’s under todoroki’s suit. god, he needs to get out of here.

“i don’t know,” todoroki is saying now, thoughtful. “a lot of people have ear-scars, no? from piercings.”

“that’s different,” katsuki says, immediately contrarian, even as he thinks about it. by the warehouse a truck stalls, but then moves on, lessening his momentary excitement. “most people don’t let that shit heal. unless you’re a moron there’s no point getting a hole jabbed through your ear if you’re not sure you want it.”

“would you?” todoroki asks, mildly curious, and taps his ear where katsuki can see him in the window’s reflection. “get a piercing, i mean.”

“what’s it to you?”

todoroki rolls his eyes at him like he’s being pointlessly difficult, which he maybe is a little. “i don’t know. i think it would suit you.”

“yeah?” katsuki sniffs, mollified and trying not to show it. it’s always a mistake to let icyhot know when his obvious ploys are working. “been thinking about it?”

“i can hardly sleep at night for thinking about it,” todoroki deadpans, which makes katsuki scowl and stomp down on the extremely unwarranted flush crawling up his neck in response.

“fuck off. i guess i’d do like one or two.”

“really? you always say no to tattoos.”

“that’s different. i don’t trust some asshole to draw a fucking infinity sign on my knee or whatever. sticking a hole through an ear is hard to fuck up, and you barely register it after. if you get a shitty tattoo you have to think about it all the time.”

“if it’s easy then why don’t you have any?” todoroki asks, but he sounds genuinely curious more than like he’s trying to catch him out, so katsuki thinks about it honestly.

“don’t have the time. ‘s not like i can really afford to pencil in an afternoon to the nearest parlor or whatever just for that.”

“i read you can pierce your ears with a needle.”

“i guess i haven’t fucking thought about it that much, then,” katsuki grumbles, forever irked by todoroki’s smart mouth. problem solver his ass. the guy goes around making problems for everyone.

they sit in silence for a beat, watching the breeze rattle the wooden planks barricading a window opposite them, and then he thinks needle, and does some very quick mental arithmetics to reach the conclusion that todoroki is probably also landing on, judging by the way he blinks when katsuki briefly glances his way. 

he thinks about the job, and how close he’d come to throttling todoroki during i spy, and the great dawning nothingness ahead of them for fuck knows how long still. at the very worst, they have to start moving with a needle in his ear. 

“pass me your medikit.”

todoroki does, but when katsuki unzips the pack he shifts. “it’d be easier if i did it.”

“it’s not rocket science,” katsuki mutters, considering the needle critically before glancing back out of the window. “'s not like i give a shit about precise location.”

“i’m just saying i wouldn’t have to go in blind. and you can keep watch while i do it.”

“or you can keep watch while i do. same shit.”

todoroki only shakes his head, because unlike some people who shall not be named he is not so incredibly psychosexually attached to offering help where it isn’t wanted. “fine.”

katsuki eyes the window, squints at his ear. tissue’s the best bet- he thinks he could probably manage cartilage fine, but on the off chance they have to drop everything and run he doesn’t want to accidentally snap a bone and start the fight inconvenienced. lobe it is.

“wait,” todoroki says, just when he’s focused, and then reaches over without removing his gaze from the window to press two fingers to the needle, tip going blisteringly red-hot before he releases it. cauterised. their kit’s sterilised anyway, but katsuki grunts his begrudging thanks, repositions himself. 

“wait,” todoroki says again, and this time katsuki can’t help but turn to glare at him where he’s still watchfully staring outside.

“fucking what, icyhot?”

“two seconds,” todoroki promises, gaze flickering his way for half a second with something like self-effacing amusement before he turns his eyes dutifully away and reaches his other arm around to pinch his ear, which flares cold so quickly katsuki hisses even as his cheeks heat. fucking weirdo.

“could’ve just said,” he mutters, ignoring his not at all jumpy pulse to refocus on the task at hand as todoroki does that obnoxious lip-twitch thing that means he’s smiling internally. 

physics dictates that he keep his wrist at an angle if he wants the needle to come out right, so he does, braces and jabs. it goes so easy he almost doubts his own success, not even the slightest twinge of pain ensuing. he twists for good measure, removes the needle, watches tiny beads of blood emerge from the piercing. 

well, that was anticlimactic, katsuki thinks, retrieving an anti-bacterial wipe for the needle, and then pauses, staring at the window.

“motherfucker.”

“what?”

“what the fuck am i supposed to put through this?”

todoroki’s mismatched eyes go gratifyingly wide in the window, and for one spectacularly braindead moment two of the world’s most outstanding pro-heroes stare at one another in a shitty broken window with equal amounts of retroactive dismay. 

“um,” todoroki says, or as close to ‘um’ as todoroki will ever say. katsuki wishes dearly he was still of an age where he could throw him through a wall. then his eyes focus elsewhere, sharpening with what could pass as professional focus but is mostly naked relief. “um.”

um in-fucking-deed. by the warehouse, a door has just opened a sliver.

“you owe me a fucking earring,” katsuki declares, but so fast it lacks any aggression, already halfway out the window by the time he finishes speaking, atrophied limbs reviving with an ecstatic chemical burn as fresh air hits their faces. 

god. if he ever gets stuck on stake-out duty again he’s sleeping by himself under a parked car or some shit. 

they make disgustingly quick work of the fight, in the end, days of pent-up frustration and skull-numbing boredom leaving them so bursting with power that it’s almost embarrassing for the villain, but when the first kow-towing police officer reaches them full of praise and suggestion that they handle another job he has queued up they chorus a ‘no’ so violent the guy actually jumps. 

todoroki’s not so bad, katsuki thinks fondly, watching his face slide into frigid blankness with absolutely no idea of how shitless he’s scaring the officers around them. it’s almost enough to make him forget to kick his ass for the enormously shitty banter he’d had to endure vis-a-vis his still-bleeding ear throughout the entire tragically short fight.

almost. not quite. who even knew there was a ‘gay ear’?