#why i prefer woman over girl but boy over man i have no idea

[rosabell14]

The hunters of Artemis, Reyna, and Asexuality in Riordan's writing

I kinda started thinking about this since Reyna became a hunter. I could never articulate why I hated this Choice. I was asexual after all. Shouldn't I be happy about this rep? We Ace people barely get any after all. Then I realized that it's because I just didn't like the hunters as ace representation. And I didn't need to be grateful for mediocrity.

You want to know why the hunters of Artemis suck in general? And as Ace rep specifically? Because Riordan did not write them with that mindset.

Like people are so busy hailing this man as the king of representation in literature(blegh) that they forgot how heteronormative and white(sometimes racist) the original series was. Y'all really think this man was thinking about writing asexuals in the year 2007? Get real. What Riordan was doing was a white man trying to write feminism and failing (there's a reason most of his female characterization of female characters boils down to tough "not like other girls" characters who are dicks to the boys around them yet also to the girls around them if they're jealous)

Now onto the hunters.

The hunters when first presented in TTC are not a group of asexuals but rather religious celibates. Fantasy Pegan nuns if you may. The first problem arises when their ages are brought up.

"Then the archers came from the woods. They were girls, about a dozen of them. The youngest was maybe ten. The oldest, about fourteen..."

Remember, before ToA gave us Emmie and Jo, the hunters WERE all young girls. Now why in the world are they so young? Especially when in the actual myths, the hunters could come from any age whatsoever? Well the reason is a doozy.

"Are you surprised by my age?" she asked.

"Uh… a little."

"I could appear as a grown woman, or a blazing fire, or anything else I want, but this is what I prefer. This is the average age of my Hunters, and all young maidens for whom I am patron, before they go astray."

"Go astray?" I asked.

"Grow up. Become smitten with boys. Become silly, preoccupied, insecure. Forget themselves."

Hooo boy. What a way to phrase it. Going astray. Losing themselves. This kinda confirms that the reason why Artemis goes after young girls specifically is because she only wants girls who have yet to finish puberty. Girls have yet to discover their own sexuality. Now I'm not a representative of Asexuals everywhere, but I'm pretty sure most of us don't discover our sexuality at the age of ten. Let alone have the maturity to decide to become celibates about it. And let me reiterate: celibacy is not sexuality. Sure asexual people CAN choose to be celibates but it's not the same thing at all. In fact Zoe and Thalia are big cases for this. Both of them had liked men before(herakles and luke) but joined for their own reasons. Thalia to escape the prophecy and Zoe out of heartbreak. Hell, Bianca herself is mostly swayed by the idea of having no responsibility and a new family.

Now Rick does another thing that goes against the myths. The exclusion of make hunters. Artemis frequently hung around or taught male hunters who respected her. Daphnis, Scamandrius, freaking Hippolytus whom Artemis greatly cared about. Oh but we need to come up with bullshit reasons why Nico can't just join the hunt with his sisters so the hunters of Artemis are all: Ewww men. Also note how at no point does Riordan mention people who fall in love with women.

Now the next point is the oath itself. Artemis says this:

"What oath?" I said.

"To forswear romantic love forever," Artemis said. "To never grow up, never get married. To be a maiden eternally."

When I tell you that Emmy and Joe were retcons . Rick was freaking INSISTENT on the hunters being kids. Also note the three points: to never fall in love, to never get married, to stay a maiden.

I mean I think I don't need to explain why obsessing over the virginity of young girls is creepy. Does Riordan think girls older than fourteen can't keep it in their pants? And let me be adamant here Riordan only cares about the virginity Clause here. He mentions falling in love and marriage because he sees them inherently intertwined with sex.

Now onto the wording of the oath itself:

'I pledge myself to the goddess Artemis. I turn my back on the company of men, accept eternal maidenhood, and join the Hunt.'

I mean you might be able to interpret men here as mankind and therefore excluding women as well. But I have many reasons to believe that Riordan didn't even CONSIDER women as a possibility(someone inform this man that lesbians existed smh 😞). Also note that falling in love is not mentioned in the actual oath but maidenhood is.

Now onto the next big issue. Percy Jackson's Greek gods and its chapter on Artemis. It basically confirms all of my problems.

"IT’S NOT THAT ARTEMIS HATED ALL MEN, just most of them. From the moment she was born, she knew one critical fact: Guys are kinda gross."

No mention of girls. In this chapter Percy(Rick) brings up Artemis' disdain for dudes over and over again.

“Let me be a maiden forever, Father,” Artemis said, twirling her finger in Zeus’s beard. “I never want to get married.---- But you can grant me a bunch of followers: ocean nymphs, river nymphs, wood nymphs—what the heck, how about mortal girls, too? Any girls who want to join me can become my followers, as long as they remain maidens like me. They should probably make the decision when they’re about nine years old, before they get interested in boys, because after that, they’ll be all distracted and of no use to me.”

Yikes yikes yikes. Ladies and gentlemen the age has been lowered to 9. Freaking 9. Also I guess girls older than that don't need Artemis' protection then? (the real problem is that older/married girls should be out of Artemis's jurisdiction and under the protection of other gods like Hera, Hestia, and Ares. But Hestia is barely there. Hera is terrible and the Amazons also suck)

Now when I tell you that Artemis' big point was about virginity, I mean it. This actually has mythological evidence.

The myths actually DO mention what happens when female hunters fall in love. Rhodopis and Euthynicus were two hunters who offended Aphrodite by choosing a chaste life so she had Eros make them fall in love. However note that they weren't booted out of the hunters for falling in love, but rather after having sex in a cave. THAT was what Artemis took offense to.

Another myth is the story of Aura. A huntress who offended Artemis by comparing their breasts(Greek mythology am I right?). Saying that her breast were better than Artemis' because they were smaller and hey maybe that means that Artemis isn't actually a maiden. Artemis punishes her by making her lose her VIRGINITY. She goes to nemesis for revenge. Nemesis goes to Eros who makes Dionysus fall in love with Aura and when Aura refuses his advances he ties her up and... Yeah you can guess where I'm going with this.

But hey! Those myths aren't in the Greek gods book. You know which myth is? The myth of C(K)allisto. And this one angers me so much I want to chew on the drywall.

The way Riordan writes it. Zeus turns himself into Artemis, brings Kallisto's guards down with the disguise, gets close to her and then when Kallisto REJECTS Artemis' supposed advances, forces himself on her. I need to say this again. Kallisto does not fall in love, she isn't seduced, she does not break her oath. But we still need a reason for her to be yeeted out of the hunters so her lack of maidenhood it is

“You were my favorite,” Artemis said. “If you had come to me immediately, I could have helped you. I would have found you a rich, handsome husband and let you settle into a new life in the city of your choice. I would have allowed you to retire from the Hunt with honor. You could have gone in peace. Zeus’s assault was not your fault.”

Kallisto sobbed. “But I didn’t want to lose you! I wanted to stay!”

Artemis felt like her heart was breaking, but she couldn’t show it. She had rules about her followers. She couldn’t allow those rules to be broken, not even by her best friend. “Kallisto, your crime was keeping the secret from me. You dishonored me, and your sisters of the Hunt, by not being honest. You defiled our company of maidens when you were not a maiden yourself. That I cannot forgive.”

I want to slap this man so hard he flies to the opposite side of the universe. We are not here to blame victims of assault guys! Except we are! But with extra steps. If you get attacked, it's not your fault, but If you are too scared to admit the truth then you deserve to lose your only safe space and turn into a bear. Oh nooooo Kallisto DEFILED Artemis' company by being an icky non virgin. The moment you lose your virginity even if it's not your fault you get punished. But not because I'm gross but because YOU lied. How terrible! And he expects us to feel for ARTEMIS???

But rosabell! This is how things go in the myths. What was uncle Rick (bleghhhh) supposed to do? I don't know... Choose a different version of the story? There are versions were Zeus/Hera are the ones who transform Kallisto into a bear. There are versions where Kallisto actively CHOOSES to sleep with Artemis. Granted it's still assault because she's being lied to but at least then, she'd have a degree of autonomy in the events. At least Artemis could rightfully accuse her of breaking her oath. But noooo, Riordan doesn't know lesbians exist. He actively makes Zeus into a canonical Ra*ist. Why is he on the throne again?

(the fact that this book came out AFTER HoH y'all 😭)

Once again, Riordan sees maidenhood(virginity)/love/marriage as intertwined. This is NOT what being on the aroace spectrum means. You can fall in love but not have sex. You can have sex but not fall in love. You can have sex AND still be an asexual. You can be married and still be a "maiden". Riordan doesn't get to claim to be such a progressive ally for retconning the hunters in 2017, TEN years after he first introduced the hunters because he suddenly remembered that lesbians exist.

Or more like because he doesn't know what to do with his female characters. The hunters more than anything are Riordan's heroine dumping ground. If you don't want it put them in relationships, either kill them(Bianca whose main purpose is to die) or make them eternal virgins(the hunters, Rachel). The fact that some people genuinely think that Calypso should have joined the hunters astound me. Girl suffered for years because of the gods and you all think that the best thing outside of Leo for her(not that I like Caleo) is to become a servant to the gods? Because you can't perceive a female character doing anything else if she's not in a relationship. Like with Thalia, this at least made sense on a strategic level because she didn't want to reach sixteen. Oh but we also don't know what else to do with her so she needs to want to be a hunter after the war is over so we give her a half-assed argument with Luke and now she can be all: wah wah Zoe you were totally right about boys. And the cherry on the cake is that she doesn't even get to be in the final confrontation with Luke or say goodbye to him because of a freaking STATUE. And after pjo her personality becomes Zoe 2.0 and her and Jason get ONE measly meeting.

When I first spoke of not liking Renya joining the hunters this is what I mean. Riordan had so many options with Reyna. Why did she have to leave her esteemed position which she worked so hard for? Two boys rejected her? Why couldn't she go reconnect with her sister more then? She could have joined the Amazons. But nooo Riordan was so allergic to the fans asking him wether she could be Bi or a lesbian. For the stupidest reasons too? Oh Reyna being a lesbian would come off as stereotypical because she got rejected by two guys beforehand! My dude, do you think people don't say the same thing about us who are on the aroace spectrum? That we say we are aro/ace because we got rejected before? Come up with a better excuse next time.

My brother in Christ couldn't even allow Reyna to talk about her sexuality and whatnot. It couldn't even be fully about her. No. He had to turn Reyna into his own mouthpiece admonishing the EVILLLL fans who may have shipped Thalia and Renya. He literally had her say the word "shipping". How cringe can you get? And then he had the audacity to admonish the fans by saying: Why does a strong friendship always have to progress to romance?

It's a sentiment I agree with but coming from this man, it's extremely hypocritical? I don't know Richard maybe because YOU are obsessed with shipping? No character can escape your shipping hands unless they're eternal virgins or dead. You literally turned the Argo2 into Noah's ark2. So much attention focused on shipping that the seven barely felt like friends.

Why does Reyna need to join the hunters? She can choose to not relationship without having to become a servant to female Peter pan.

This is actually a really adequate metaphor when you consider that Emmie and Jo say that they have not met Artemis in YEARS and Apollo mentions that the two of them were lucky she let them LIVE. god can you imagine joining Artemis when you are 9? At an age when you have still not finished maturimg cognitively and therefore shouldn't be trusted on taking a freaking celibacy vow(were you even given the talk yet that age) and after 70 years you decide you want to leave? If you're lucky Artemis will part with you on good terms but SIKES every person you probably knew before joining is now dead. Where is THAT angsty Bianca fic?

Speaking of Bianca. How she was handled also angers me. In another post, I've already talked about how the hunters barely gave her adequate information before letting her join.

How Zoe was the main reason for her death. Zoe KNEW that at least 2 people might die in the quest she was given and yet she decided to bring the least experienced girl to the quest and couldn't even watch her properly.

But you know what else pisses me off? The fact that THEY should have been the one to tell Nico about his sister's death. I've always hated how Chiron made Percy the CHILD tell Nico the other CHILD about his sister dying. But more than anyone, it should have been the hunters' responsibility. Bianca was THEIR responsibility. She died in a quest to save Artemis. The least they could do was tell her remaining family of her fate. The Doylist reason of course is that we need to kickstart Nico and Percy's complicated relationship and have Percy discover that Nico is a son of Hades. But in universe, the fact that they immediately fuck off from the camp upon regrouping makes them come off as extremely selfish. We don't even know if Bianca was given a funeral by them or not. We see Artemis being upset about Zoe but we never see her react to the news of losing Bianca.

[wheels-of-despair]

Did I Forget to Mention That? Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: Eddie overhears a phone call between Evil Woman and the father she hates, which leads to a discussion they probably should've had ages ago. Contains: Switching POVs, eavesdropping, excessive sarcasm, suggestive interlude, cuddles, rambling, declarations. Words: 1.4k

Eddie knocks at the kitchen door. He can see Gareth leaning against the wall with the phone to his ear and a look of amusement on his face. The blonde waves him inside and places a finger to his lips.

Eddie slips inside and closes the door quietly. Gareth beckons him closer and holds out the phone so they can both listen. Curious, Eddie slowly leans in until he hears a man's voice.

"What kind of life do you think a boy like that can provide for you?"

"A happy one," his girl says from another phone, her voice lifeless and bored, like they've been at this for a while.

"He'll amount to nothing, and so will you." Stern. Condescending. This must be the father she avoids like the plague.

"We're both very competitive." There she is, with that impressive deadpan delivery again.

"And think of your children!"

"I'm not due for several months."

Eddie's heart skips a beat, and he looks at Gareth in terror. The drummer ducks his head and shakes with silent giggles.

"I hope you're joking," the man seethes.

"Them free clinic docs don't tell no jokes." Her response is delivered in a heavy accent that sounds a little bit like Wayne's. If Eddie wasn't so confused and terrified by this conversation, he might laugh.

"What's it going to take to make you take this seriously?!"

"A Ferrari oughta do it."

"I should have waited until your mother was home and talked to her instead."

"She prefers Mustangs."

"You are impossible!"

"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." Eddie can't help but to be impressed by how calm she is. All this relentless badgering, and she just sounds bored. She's probably doodling or flipping through a magazine while she effortlessly irritates her old man.

"No daughter of mine is going to marry a filthy, inbred piece of trailer park trash!"

A silence falls over the whole house. Eddie's not even sure where she is, but he can sense the change in her mood from the kitchen. He and Gareth both hold their breath while they wait for a response.

"Fuckin' watch me," she spits, her voice so full of venom it makes Eddie's hair stand on end. And then she hangs up. The old man yells all the way back to the base, where Gareth hangs the kitchen phone back on the wall.

"Gareth, did you hear this fucking assho…" she trails off as she rounds the corner, stopping when she sees Eddie. It's like storm clouds parting to let the sun shine through when she smiles at him. "Hi."

Eddie is too stunned to say a word. He stands frozen to the spot, no idea how he's supposed to react to this.

"How much of that did you hear?" she asks.

"He came in right before the pregnancy joke," Gareth says proudly, pulling a bag of chips down from the cabinet.

"Awww," she coos, laughter in her voice and a smile on her face; a completely different person than the one he just heard on the phone. "You know that was a joke, right?"

Eddie nods.

"That old man's a joke, too. Fuck him."

Eddie's eyes fall to the kitchen floor, but before he can let his brain replay everything he's just heard, a sharp "hey" makes him jerk his head back up.

"Don't even think about letting your brain run wild with his bullshit," she warns from the doorway. "He doesn't matter. Not even a little bit."

"Tell him why you got The Call," Gareth mumbles through a mouthful of chips, leaning back in his chair at the table. He holds the bag out and offers them to Eddie, who declines with a shake of his head.

She rolls her eyes. "Mom sent my grandma a picture of us at Christmas, and he saw it. He thought my mood ring was an engagement ring."

"And did you correct him?" Gareth grins.

"Oh no," she covers her mouth in mock shock. "Did I forget to mention that?" She drops her hand and laughs.

Eddie stands quietly, not sure he's seeing the humor in this. Her dad already hates him. Knows he's not good enough. How long will it be before the rest of them see it too?

"Hey," she says, softer this time. She crosses the room and stands in front of him. Two of her fingers lift his chin so he has to look at her eyes and not her socks. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

She bops his nose with her finger and gives him that smile she saves just for him. She reaches for his hand, and Eddie feels himself relax; how is it that one touch from the right person can make everything seem like it's going to be okay?

"Come with me," she says quietly, leading him away. He follows, but they both come to a halt when they reach the hallway. She calls back to the kitchen.

"Hey, baby bro?"

"Whaaat?" Gareth whines.

"You should probably put some headphones on for the next half-hour or so." She winks at Eddie and pulls him down the hallway.

They hear an anguished groan and an "I'm fucking moving!" from the kitchen as they enter her bedroom with matching grins.

Twenty-seven minutes later, you and Eddie are pulling enough clothes back on so it won't seem suspicious when your mother comes home. You collapse onto your bed together in t-shirts and unbuttoned jeans, side by side, staring up at the ceiling.

"I love you," you say fondly as you turn your head to admire the beautiful boy beside you. You don't give a damn what anyone says; Eddie Munson is absolutely perfect.

"Yeah?" he asks, looking at you with a dazed smile.

"Yeah," you confirm, happy and sleepy and wishing you had the energy to roll over and smother him with the affection he deserves.

"Love you too," he mumbles, eyelids beginning to droop. He lets out a sigh and then flips himself over so that he's half on top of you. His head rests in the crook of your neck, his leg settles between yours.

"Up," you order, and he lifts his head so you can get your arm around him and hold him closer. He nuzzles into your breast - his favorite pillow - and sighs happily. You wish you could stay like this forever.

You close your eyes and play with his hair, and just as you're about to drift off, Eddie starts rambling.

"I know we haven't really talked about this before, but… uh…" Eddie takes a deep breath and blows out the air slowly. "Is that really something you'd want? To marry me one day?"

Before you can respond, he continues: "Because I know being a Munson of Hawkins isn't anyone's dream. You wouldn't have to take my last name if you didn't want to. I just… I dunno. I love you, and I'm gonna love you forever. If you want to make it official… I mean, we don't have to. But, uh... I'm in if you are."

You wait for a moment, then ask: "You done?"

"Yeah," he sighs. You can feel his face burning through your shirt.

"I thought we weren't really talking about it because it was a given."

"What?" he asks, raising his head to look at you.

"Of course I wanna marry you, dingbat." A nervous smile appears on his face. "And some of the best people I've ever met are Munsons of Hawkins. I'd be honored to become one of them."

"Yeah?" he asks, smile widening and eyes glistening.

"Yeah," you laugh. In what world would you not want to be his forever? You lean forward to kiss the tip of his nose. You stare at each other for a moment, and then your lips meet in a tender kiss. When you part, nothing more needs to be said.

Eddie rests his head on your chest again, and you resume playing with his hair. You drift off to thoughts of falling asleep with him, just like this, for the rest of your lives.

Yeah. That's really something you'd want.

[lil-quinnie]

I'm not that innocent

part II

Stepdad!Eddie x F!reader

Warnings: STEPCEST, AGE GAP (Eddie's 40s and Reader is middle 20s) , daddy kink, oral (m receiving) , slight pet play, dom sub dynamic, degradation, cheating, bad family's relationship, nipple play, breast fucking, Lemme know if i forget something <3

Summary: Your mother left your stepfather alone and lonely on her birthday, the next morning you wanted to make his morning as easy as possible, that's what a good girl would do, isn't it?

picture of older eddie by: @eddiemunsons-missingnipple

You've known Eddie for almost five years now, ever since he started dating your mother when you were fifteen, your mother and he didn't know each other well when they had the brilliant idea of getting married and living together in less than three months of dating.

You didn't have to say how disastrous the whole get-together was inside the suburban house that used to be just yours and your mother's, and now in every room you looked there were traces of Eddie, from Mister Munson to you.

For two long years your Mother's marriage to Mr. Munson seemed like a fairy tale, he brought her flowers at least twice a week, cooked delicious dinners while your mother drank a (few) glasses of wine until they were both laughing and bumping into the hallway walls, giggling and whispering like two teenagers in love, it was cute you thought.

Things started to get bad on your 18th birthday. Eddie used to work in a big mechanic and managed to buy you an almost new car as a gift, your mother knew the whole plan and helped the man with every detail, from covering the car with an old sheet to blindfolding you and guiding you to the garage.

Maybe it was your reaction, maybe it was Eddie's hands hugging you back, hands in your lower back, maybe it was how you jumped and laughed causing your body and your stepdad's to brush against each other,your mother could see your braless chest squeezed on her sweaty husband, but something in her attitude has changed, both with you and with her husband.

Unlike your mother who is an extrovert, you were quiet, preferring to stay with your books and headphones. Your quiet nature caused your voice to be low and calm, which would explain your mother's sudden change after your explosive reaction , with her husband and not with her! Which ignited a flame of insecurity inside the head of the older woman who was always talking back to you for anything you said, who started to ignore you and made your life more difficult at every opportunity .

The situation for Eddie wasn't the best either, they fought over any and all nonsense and it always ended the same way, with him begging her to stay, while she kept saying terrible things to him, the ending was your mother slamming the front door in his face, going to god only knew where, as he sat in the dark room, face in his hands.

It didn't take long for rumors to start running around town. One day of carelessness and your mother was seen by a neighbor kissing a boy much younger than her. And from what you'd heard, it wasn't the first time.

That was 2 years ago, you didn't stick around long enough to find out if they were real or not, but you never understood why Eddie put up with it all and believed your mother's sarcastic voice when she denied the whole story.

Now, 2 years older than the last time you were here, you avoid that story as much as possible, of course the weekly calls home became monthly and soon you only called on major holidays, visiting was out of the question as money was tight and your job at the library college barely paid your rent. 

You wouldn't accept financial help from them even though they insisted, knowing what happened the time you accepted your old car.

Now, on your mother's 40th birthday, you were forced to be there, your mother even offered to pay for your plane ticket but you preferred to face the 9 hours on the road. When you arrived, to your -not- surprise, things weren't very different from how they were in your last days in this house.

Your mother was trying her best to maintain a not-so-fake smile as she waved from the porch and you parked your car. You were happy to see the mother you hadn't seen in a few years, now blonder with more visible wrinkles but still just as beautiful.

The tension of a few years ago didn't exist but everyone could feel that something still wasn't clicking. You gave your mother a quick hug and nodded at Eddie, as you tried to carry all your luggage alone into your old childhood room, now with some guitars and acoustic, posters of some old bands you didn't know and others that you were much more than a fan.

If you noticed the little touches Eddie left in your home, this room now certainly screamed Eddie, you mean, Mister Munson!

The strangest thing was the fresh smell of his shampoo on the pillow that used to be yours. "Does he usually sleep here?" you thought, digging in your nose, taking in all Mr. Munson scent, the cigarette, something earthy and musk, all of him, causing your thighs to press against each other to bring any kind of relief.

It had been three days since you had stayed with them and the tension was only beginning to rise. You could hear the little arguments your mother had with Eddie over the smallest of things. The final straw, both for you and for your mother, was on Friday night, on her birthday. 

The argument had started over a wrong present that Mr. Munson had bought, intensified because he tried to hug the woman who was raging in front of him and ended when, to your surprise, he shouted that he missed her, he missed her touch. Making your mother grab an old backpack, stuff it with some clothes and speed off the tires of your car.

You tossed and turned all night in your bed, feeling his scent wafting around you, the sound of the man's deep breathing sleeping on the couch echoing in your ears, making your hand roam over your body, adding pressure everywhere you thought that Eddie would pay more attention until you found your sex already wet.

The mere memory of Mr. Munson's hands were enough to send you over the edge, but it was hearing him moan in rage that made you come harder, thinking of how he could take all that anger and frustration out on your pussy at the same time, instead of anything else he was doing right now.

You didn't know how to act the next morning, not because you heard the fight, but because you knew how needy your stepfather was, that information made something carnal wake up inside your chest and you decided to test the waters around you.

You decided to act as if nothing had happened, leaving the room only in a baggy T-shirt and shorts so short they barely showed, and a pair of white socks.

You went to the kitchen to make coffee when you noticed the unconscious figure of your stepfather lying on the sofa, his hair covering half of his face and the half you could see was beautiful.

You prepared two large mugs of coffee, looked for the man's cigarettes and took a deep breath trying to gain more courage to wake him up, not knowing what his reaction would be after this type of situation with your mother.

You put everything on the coffee table in the living room, knelt down next to the sofa and brushed some curls from the man's face. Eddie squirmed under your touch and slowly opened his eyes, taking time to understand what was happening and where he was.

He sat on the couch, having an overhead view of you, getting to see the contours of your breasts and your nipples already erect from the weather, peeking out from under your shirt "my shirt" he thought to himself as he looked your body up and down. down, smiling slightly when he saw you kneeling so close to him.

"Good morning sweetheart" he said in a hoarse voice, rubbing his face with both hands "Sorry, I didn't expect the night to end like that" he gave you an apologetic smile, you just nodded and passed the mug of coffee for the older man.

"It's okay, really. It wasn't your fault" you smiled, as you started to stand up, you let your shirt ride up to the curve of your ass, as you purposefully bent down to pick up one of Eddie's cigarettes, turning to face the man who was obviously checking you out "May I Mr Munson?" you asked in the sweetest voice you had in your arsenal.

Eddie took a while to understand what your request was and looked away when he saw your obvious smirk and cleared his throat to disguise the blush rising in the man's bearded cheeks.

"S-sure, be my guest sweetheart" he straightened his body on the couch, sitting as straight as possible, bringing a pillow to his lap trying to hide the erection marked in black jeans.

"But you know you don't have to call me Mister Munson, right? Fuck, I don't even think my father was called that." he chuckled softly as he took a few sips of his delicious coffee

You now leaning against the window across the room, cigarette wedged between your lips, you shrugged and lit your cigarette, your eyes never leaving the man's eyes, who eyed you suspiciously

"Sorry, old habits die hard" you blew out the smoke and smiled at him, the kind of smile he hadn't gotten in a while, the kind of smile he'd gotten from your mother for the past two years.

"Yes! Of course,yeah, just Eddie is fine" He had to take a big, long drink of his coffee to quell the malice that was growing in his face, but he didn't expect your answer to be as direct as it was "I thought you wanted to that I called you daddy" you bit your lip as the man took a slight choke on his coffee before giving a disbelieving laugh.

"You would like that, right, little girl?" The smirk and the hungry look that Eddie was giving at you made your thighs clenched automatically, this time harder causing a low sigh to escape your perfect lips. Not going unnoticed by Eddie, who was already sitting with his forearms resting on his knee as he stared at you like you were a prey.

"Yes" you said above a whisper, "Yes what?" Eddie's gaze never leaving your face;

"Yes d-daddy" you replied with a groan, making the man squeeze the pillow tighter on his lap, “Good girl”.

Silence filled the living room, you could hear your stepdad's cigarette paper burning across the room at the same intensity you could feel his gaze burn holes in your skin

"Are you, are you feeling better, Daddy?" you smirked as you approached the man sitting on the couch a few steps away from you.

"Stop!" he demanded, making you stop instantly, not knowing if he was asking you to stop the overt flirting or if he wanted you to physically stop moving so you did both.

"So obedient, what a good girl" he said, taking the pillow off his lap leaving the bulge in his pants apparent to you, he brought a huge, ringed hand to his cock, groping and squeezing causing the man to moan

"please daddy" you said pathetically not really knowing what you were asking for "please what little girl?" he said, now sliding his hand over his cock, showing all the girth that would hopefully be filling your desperate little pussy

"Can I get close to you? Can I make you feel good daddy? please" Eddie could sense how much you were in need and decided to take full advantage of it.

"You can, of course you can princess" he smiled as if he was hiding something and before you could say thank you, he completed the sentence "but come crawling to daddy, little girl" 

The words disappeared from your mouth, your knees were already weak watching Eddie touching him even if only over his pants.

Your knees sank to the floor, and you made a point of pushing your ass as high as possible, leaving your little white cotton panties visible as you crawled between the older man's legs.

You can smell him faintly in your nose, the same one that surrounded you all night for the last 2 days. With his small hands gripping his stepdad's thick thighs Eddie did the one thing you wouldn't expect him to do, he grabbed a handful of your hair and rubbed your delicate face against his crotch.

"Yeah, that's it, I know you like it you little slut" he circled his hips against your face, you could feel his already hard cock pressed against your face "you think I didn't listen to you yesterday?" you let a moan come out of his mouth followed by a chorus of "please, please, oh! let me taste you daddy, i'm your good girl, i'm your good kitten"

Your last sentence made the man moan loudly and start to unbutton his pants in a clumsy way, pulling his pants down to his ankles and kicking them away, your hands went up his thigh, stopping at his groin, you could feel the heat emanating from him. of his dick.

"Go on little girl, take your time" 

he said, opening his legs wider for you to settle between them.

You did as you were told, your hands roamed your stepfather's body, who felt everything as if it were torture, your hand enveloped his hard cock, giving a few kisses to the covered head of the member, you could taste the precum through the fabric of his boxers.

You pulled the underwear down Eddie's legs, gripping his cock in both hands, touching your feather-light lips to his red head, giving cat-like licks as you moved your hands up and down. "oh! fuck" Eddie's hands found the hair on the back of your neck, taking control of your head, forcing your mouth deeper and deeper into his hard cock. "Put your tongue out little girl, let daddy fill your throat, huh?" you just asserted and stuck out your tongue as much as your body would allow.

Eddie took advantage of the space your sticking-out tongue created and shoved his cock deep down your throat "mother…fucker" he groaned, setting a rhythm as he fucked your throat. He wiped away the fat tears that were streaming down your face and you could see his smile through your blurred vision as he licked your tears away from his thumb print.

"That's it little girl, making daddy feel so good" Eddie ripped your head off his cock so you could breathe, you moaned at the lack of contact causing Eddie to slap your cheek, making you even redder. "Thank you daddy" you said, leaving the man almost speechless.

The stepfather's hands went to the hem of your shirt, lifting it, leaving your bare breasts on display. "I knew it" he said, slapping your chest with his hand  "looks like my little girl is a slut", Eddie stuffed part of the hem of your shirt into your mouth, trapping the fabric between your teeth as he attacked your nipples.

He licked and sucked your nipple like a starving man, pinching the other nipple with his fingertips, rolling and tugging, making your muffled moans almost inaudible, but not to Eddie.

He ripped the shirt from your body holding your face between his fingers "Now open that pretty little mouth wide little girl, I need you to get my cock very wet for what I want to do to you next, ok slut?" he whispered as he passed the head of the cock in your mouth asking for access.

You opened your mouth wide, his cock assaulted your mouth without mercy, going so deep that with each thrust your mouth watered more, making your saliva run down your stepfather's balls and your full bare breasts "That's it, little girl, swallow everything daddy gives you" You completely surrendered control of your head to the man, so it was no surprise when he ripped you off his cock and made you suck his balls instead, causing more saliva to run down your body .

You took an entire ball into your mouth, sucking so gently it took Eddie over the edge more than once in a row, he pulled your bodies apart, lifting you off the floor and placing you on the sofa in the position he needed you, leaning against the headboard of the sofa. Your step dad jerked off a few times before wedging his hard cock between your breasts.

His big hands squeezed your breasts against his cock, he used the mixture of your fluids to slide the hard member against your skin, always letting the luscious head hit your chin "C’mom princess, let me in your mouth, open that little mouth for daddy", Eddie ran his fingers over your nipples, making you grind against the couch looking for any kind of relief.

Eddie was so mesmerized by the puddle forming on the black leather sofa that he didn't notice your open mouth, a string of saliva fell on the head of his cock, snapping him out of his trance, faster fucking your breasts as the angry head of his cock it entered through your lips, brushing deliciously on his tongue, the texture of your taste buds made eddie's knees weak

"Please daddy, give me more, I can take more" you said trying to get more of him into your mouth as he fucked frantically, pinching and pulling at your nipples, he was in a frenzy. Head thrown back, eyes closed, highly pornographic moans followed by insults that made you feel like the most desired and admired woman in the world “‘m gonna come, oh!fuck, where? where can I come?" he said between moans.

"In my mouth, I want to taste you daddy," you said, making your tongue swirl around the head of his cock. The man moaned louder, jamming his cock deep in his mouth, "Such a slut, such a dirty slut, oh! fuck" you went up and down sucking his cock, as he held your head in place and thrust most of his cock in. in your mouth, cumming deep in your throat. "oh! fuck" he sighed with his forehead against hers, "fuck little girl, I don't think I've ever come this hard in my life" his husky voice made her cheeks flush, bringing out a shyness that hadn't been there a few minutes ago .

"Come here" he said, holding your face and for the first time in the night, his lips touched yours, he could feel the sweet taste of your mouth mixed with his cigarette that you had smoked earlier, he knew it was the new favorite flavor of his and that now that he's tasted the forbidden fruit no other flavor would suffice.

The kiss was slow, despite the few words exchanged you could feel how important his touch was to your stepfather, he licked his tongue and kissed you as if he hadn't had any kind of contact for years. And maybe he hadn't. The kiss was broken by the ringing of the phone. Eddie's naked figure walked away from you, taking the phone in his hands and walking to the bathroom. "yeah, yeah ok, I'll be there as soon as possible", you could hear the muffled sound of Eddie's voice as he cleaned up.

The mess that oozed between your thighs from an untouched pussy was pathetic, you felt your clits throbbing, making you squirm with every little contact of the panties with your button.

When Eddie came back from the bathroom he was fully dressed in his work overalls,

"Sorry dollface, emergency at work" he said leaning down as he spoke to you, he placed a few more kisses on your mouth and your jaw "I'll be right back" one kiss "I don't want you to touch yourself" his fingers circled your clits over her panties "that pussy is mine" in a whisper "you want to be my good girl don't you? my good kitty?" he stood up, making himself look a lot more intimidating.

"yes, yes daddy, I'm your good girl" you said getting up, your half naked body pressed against his, his hands roaming your body, squeezing your ass as he kissed you, taking you with him towards the door "My good little girl", he said, pulling out of your embrace.

"I'll see you later, okay?" he said with his body almost completely out of the house "and, thanks for... for today, I.." you cut him off with a quick kiss on the lips "see you later, daddy", your smile made him melt a little on the doorstep, giving you the sweetest smile you've ever seen on your stepfather's handsome face.

He just waved and closed the door, leaving you alone in a house that wasn't yours, in a city that wasn't yours and thinking about a husband that wasn't yours.

[holylulusworld]

Deranged Marriage (1) - Let it go

Title: Deranged Marriage

Summary: Your father wants you to choose a husband. Your chosen one doesn’t like the idea one bit.

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Characters: Ayo, Okoye, Jake Jensen, Steve Rogers

Warnings: arranged marriage, language, unwilling groom, angst, Bucky being an ass, sadnes, banter, tension

A/N: I got no self-control so this will have more than one part.

Deranged Marriage masterlist

“Why, not daddy,” you whine as your father refuses to let you leave the party. “I’m an adult, you know. I want to spend some quality time with my friends.”

“Sweetie, you are a grown woman and must stop acting like a teenager. I want you to finally choose a husband. I got a list including a complete background check.”

Your father points at one of his business partners. “How about him? Or Stark’s son. I heard he adopted yet another boy. Maybe he’s your age.”

“Daddy, no. All your business partners are old, and their sons are stupid frat boys. I want a good-looking, strong, sexy, and tough man.”

“Fine,” your father seems to be just done with your behavior today. “Choose whoever you want. I don’t care. Just let me check his background first.” He shoves his glasses back up his nose. “Or do you prefer a pretty lady, sweetie? I’m open-minded, Y/N.”

“Daddy,” you mutter as he chuckles. Your father doesn’t seem to care you are close to throwing a tantrum. “Gosh, this is so annoying. I don’t need a husband to rule your empire.”

“I’m sure of it, sweetie,” he wraps his arm around your shoulders, guiding you toward one of his newer business partners. “How about Rogers? He’s not too bad to look at.”

“He’s tall and attractive, but he only has eyes for that uptight British chick,” you sigh deeply. “You know that.”

“I don’t care. If I say he must marry you, he’ll do it.”

“And cheat on me,” you huff.

“Who else caught your attention, Y/N?” your father nudges your side. “You know I want you to be happy. But people are people. Especially in my line of work. You’ll need a strong man by your side.”

“I want—” you let your eyes wander. “I want…” you dip your head to glance at the man who caught your eyes months ago.

“Who, sweetie? I want you to tell me his or her name,” your father whispers so no one can spy on him. Even among his friends and partners spies and traitors are waiting for their chance.

“Barnes,” you point at James Buchanan Barnes. The cockiest and grumpiest of your father’s business partners. That man dared to ignore you for three years, and now, he’ll finally pay you attention.

“You want Barnes?” your father gasps. “You know he’s got quite the reputation. He’s not the kind of man settling for one woman, Y/N.”

“He’s tall, handsome, strong and I like his metal arm. It makes him imperfect but perfect at the same time. Like a poem without a rhyme or a painting missing a color,” you watch the brunette mobster push his neatly gelled hair back.

Bucky takes a large sip from his drink as he watches your father from across the room. He knows that his business partner is looking for a husband to take care of you. The mobster simply is not interested in your bratty ass.

“She’s staring your way, Buck,” Steve snickers. “Do you think she will choose you? I bet you’ll be putty in her hands.”

“Like hell,” Bucky grumbles. “I won’t marry. Not now. Not ever. He can keep his little brat. She’s the worst.”

Steve nods but watches his friend look your way again. “If you say so, Buck. I will get another drink and hide in the back before she finds me…”

“Barnes,” your father stalks toward your chosen husband. “We should talk about business. I know this is a party, but my girl chose you.”

“Chose me?” Bucky smirks in amusement. “What am I to her? One of the dogs you bought her only for her to lose them on of her shopping trips.”

“You know that I’m looking for someone to protect my daughter. She will take over my empire and will need a reliable and loyal man by her side.”

“No.”

You are fuming next to your father. James Buchanan Barnes dares to not even look at you. He once again ignores your whole existence.

“No?” you huff. “You should be honored I chose you. Men would kill to even get a smile from me.”

“They will kill themselves if you ever smile at them,” you gasp at his words. No one dared to talk to you like this before. “Don’t you get it, doll? No one likes you. You’re a spoiled brat without manners and you’re not my type.”

“Careful now, Barnes. I respected your father and we are partners. This doesn’t mean I let you talk like that to my daughter.”

“Sir, with all due respect, I won’t marry your daughter,” Bucky finally looks at you. “She is annoying, loud, and immature. Even her friends hate her.”

“My friends love me,” you fight back. “What do you know about my friends?” He laughs about your antics.

“I know that the girl you call your best friend since childhood is so afraid of what you will do to her family that she pretends to be your friend for almost fifteen years.”

“You’re lying. I hate you!”

“Oh, sweetness,” he takes a step toward you to look you up and down. “All of them are afraid of your father and his men. Did you ever think about how they will never say no? All of them always follow your lead.”

“No…” you step back, shaking your head. “I met Lavender at school. She wouldn’t lie. She’s my friend.”

You turn on your heels to run out of the ballroom, angrily wiping your tears off your cheeks. Bucky’s rejection and his words hit you hard.

“How dare he reject me. How dare he tell me lies about my friends!”

“He lied…he lied…” you pace back and forth while clutching a picture of you and Lavender to your chest. "She's my friend. All of them are…”

You sit on your bed, opening an old picture album. There are pictures of you and Lavender at the age of ten. You smile into the camera as your father just bought you another dog.

“She’s my friend,” closely looking at the picture you recognize for the first time that your friend doesn’t smile. There is something in her eyes you never saw before. Fear.

“No…no.”

You turn the pages, looking at all the pictures of you and your friends. “No…” You slam the album shut and fling it across the room. “She was a kid and a little intrigued by daddy and his men. I’m sure about it.”

For a moment you sit there in silence, remembering the day you met your best friend. She was new at your school. The only one not making a beeline around you.

Well, the other kids knew better than to get involved with a mafia boss’s daughter.

That day, someone wanted to mess with her and stole her backpack. She cried and you stepped in. One glare from you and the boy dropped the backpack and ran for his life. He didn’t have the guts to mess with you.

Lavender smiled and thanked you. She even hugged you, taking you by surprise. After school, you offered to drive her home. Or rather, your bodyguard drove her home.

You saw her father look at your bodyguard. It was written all over his face that he was scared of the man protecting you.

“What if…?” you whisper to yourself as you unlock your phone to look at more recent pictures. Lavender and you at her birthday party. You and your friends at a club. Lavender and her brother at a pool party. “She never smiles. None of them smiles.”

“Y/N, it’s me Okoye,” you sigh deeply as your bodyguard calls from outside your room. “Ayo is here too. Do you want to join us? Come on. Screw Barnes.”

“I’m a little tired.”

“What did he say, Y/N? Why are you hiding in your room?”

“It’s nothing. I got a terrible migraine and want to sleep. Don’t worry. Barnes can eat shit. I don’t care.”

“If you need me to kill him, give us a call.”

“Mr. James,” you nervously look at your best friend’s father. Barnes's words wouldn’t let you sleep. Now three days later you drove out of town to visit Lavender’s parents. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure…Y/N,” he stammers. “What can I do for you?”

“Lavender,” you lick your dry lips. “I—are you and your daughter afraid of my father? I need to know if Lavender became my friend out of fear.”

“No…” he chuckles nervously. “Why do you say such a thing? Lavender is your friend.”

“I see.”

You swallow audibly. Accepting the truth is the worst and most painful thing you’ll ever experience. “Thank you for your time. I hope you have a great day.”

“Wait…are you mad at Lavender? Did she do anything wrong?” the look in his eyes brings you to tears. Lavender’s father fears for his daughter’s life only because you came to visit them.

“Oh, no! I was just asking myself if we should take a break from our friendship. I’m quite busy with upcoming tasks and possible marriage. I hope Lavender won’t be mad.”

“What? No! She would never be mad at you. Lavender is your friend.”

“Of course, she is,” you nod in agreement. “A friend of mine will always be safe. Even if we cannot see each other for a long time. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Hi, Lavender,” you leave her a voicemail. You didn’t have it in you to face your friend, so you make it easier for you and her. “Listen, we were friends for so long but I kinda grew out of our friendship. We should give each other space. Uh-I mean you should spend more time with your family and your other friends. Stay safe and thank you for being a good friend.”

You end the call before she can hear you choke out a sob. “Another one,” you sigh deeply. Before you ended your friendship with Lavender, you called all of your friends.

Barnes was right. None of your so-called friends was a real friend. It didn’t take you long to find out that all of them are scared of your father and his men.

“What’s up, sweetness?” Jake pokes his head into your room. “What did you do with all the information I got for you?”

“Jensen, not now,” you throw your phone against the wall. “I’m not in the mood for one of your not-funny jokes.”

“Whoa, who fucked with you?” he asks. “Do you want me to send them a nice little virus?” Jake grins.

“No,” shaking your head you sigh deeply. “I just need a little me time.”

Jake silently closes your door. He is just another employee of your father. Not a friend nor an ally. You won’t make the mistake and trust anyone ever again.

“What are you doing?” you roll your eyes when your new nemesis, Bucky Barnes himself strolls toward you. “Oh, are you cold?”

He looks at the brazier, frowning as you throw pictures of your friends, trinkets, and plushies inside the fire.

“What do you want, Barnes?” he furrows his brows when you don’t even look at him. Usually, you’d hang on to his every word. “I’m kinda busy here.”

“I can see that.”

Bucky crouches down to look at the box you placed next to the brazier. It’s filled with all the memories you made with your friends. “Why are you burning that shit?”

“I’m cold,” you snap at him. “Can you leave me alone? Don’t you have a granny to rob or people to kill? Or whatever an important and all-grown man like you does.”

“Aw, are you having a little campfire on your own,” Bucky mocks you, but you don’t give a shit. “How about we get some marshmallows.”

“Fuck off.”

“Watch your tongue, my lovely bride,” he sneers as you finally look at him. “You made it. I got no other choice but to marry you. Your father made sure of it.”

“I don’t care anymore,” you crouch down to grab a handful of pictures to throw them into the fire. “Go and fuck some prissy little missy. You are not man enough for me anyways.”

“Not man enough?” he laughs darkly. “You wouldn’t survive our wedding night.”

“Because you are always dressed to kill?” you cock your head and look Bucky up and down. “Maybe you rejected me because you like your friend Steve more.”

“I can fuck whoever I want to. Men, women, both,” Bucky picks the box up and empties its inherits into the fire.

“What the fuck! That was my ritual. You cannot come here and ruin everything all over again. You’re such an asshole!”

“Well, no shit doll,” he growls back. “Remember, you asked for this. A little girl forcing a man like me into marriage; dumbest move ever.”

“FUCK YOU!”

“You wish I would, but I won’t,” Bucky snarls. “I will fuck my way through town while you will be waiting at home. You will be a nice little trophy wife, nothing else.”

“In your dreams,” pushing against Bucky’s chest you scream in frustration as he won’t budge. “My father will have your head if you dare to fuck with me.”

“He won’t,” he grins down at you while you slap his chest. “I agreed to become his new right-hand man to take over his empire one day.”

“No—I’ll take over his empire. I’m his legacy,” you stop hitting Bucky. “He can’t do this…he can’t. All my life I only did what he wanted. I never had real friends because they were afraid of him.”

You step away from Bucky, shaking in anger. “We will see, dollface…we will see…”

>> Part 2

Tags in reblog.

[chaosverseline]

Imu sama as monkey d luffy great grandmother

I had a crazy idea

It a mixture of a lot of one piece theories regarding luffy’s family.

First off , Instead of imu sama being luffy’s mom.I am making imu sama as luffy’s great grand “mother”.

Why?

Because here is how it works,

Imu sama is the immortal ruler of the world government (pronouns are them and they. despite this they prefer female fashion),But secretly yearns for freedom , but can’t because of the responsibility of running the government.

Quoting from a Reddit post, “To make it simple: Imu ……..related to ya boi Joy Boi and because she is a a ruler she Needs to act like one in front of everyone….”

Imu sama may not be able to experience “full freedom”. however ,when they did have free time ,they would traveled around the world and go sightseeing in a disguise.

During this they met a young man named……….

……..xebec d rocks.

Yes that rocks.

But during this time ,rocks isn’t a pirate yet.

Or maybe he was just starting out .

What happens between imu and rocks was what started out as a friendship ,Then to lovers and yeah they banged.

Resulting a adorable baby girl ,The princess of Mary geoise. For now, we call her “Yriaf” for simplicity sake.

After Yriaf birth, rocks loves his daughter but still left to continue his pirate career.Which made imu bitter and harbor a grudge against pirates.

Imu and xebec broke up and went on to their separate ways,Imu takes Yriaf with them,But allows xebec to call from den den mushi ,writes letters and sent presents to their daughter ,Using a cipher pol agent (who swore secrecy )to deliver the mail.

Yriaf grew up to be a kind and benevolent woman despite being the princess of Mary geoise. She disliked the attitude of the celestial dragons and slavery. She treats people like her equal and tries her best to free the slaves and help treat/heal/nurse the injure/sick ones until they are healthy to go home or stay with her (she would pay them with wages)if they don’t have a place to stay.Sadly, she was banned from buying more than six slaves per month by imu sama

Imu sama didn’t do this to be cruel,They are worried about Yriaf getting the wrong people’s suspicions. Imu sama honesty didn’t like the whole slavery system ,But the majority of the world nobles wanted this and imu have to go along. otherwise imu will become unpopular and risk getting deposed or worse case scenario,Getting Killed.

As much power imu has,Imu can’t protect Yriaf if all the world nobles voices their disapproval (Kinda like Garp’s situation ).

because of this ,Imu is strict with their daughter.Eventually Yriaf ran off to her father’s ship to get some fresh air from the royalty business. There she met her father’s crew and develop a relationship with one of the crew mates. Rocks is fine with it,after a long shovel talk.

Imu sama,However…… is a total different story.

Imu straight up disapproves.

But there is nothing imu can do, Other than sending cipher pol assassins to watch but not kill the crew mate who caught their sweet daughter’s eyes.

Yraif marries the crew mate,Whose name is Edward Newgate,Yes that Newgate.

Their child would eventually be known as crocodile.

Yes that crocodile.

Then imu noticed changes in rocks as the years goes by,How by each passing year,Xebec getting even more crueler and unhinged, starting to have bloodthirsty ambitions thanks to his devil fruit that messed up his brain, until imu can no longer recognized the man they had used to loved.

For now,Xebec’s sanity is barely keeping together thanks to his paternal love for their daughter .But imu is not taking any chances if one day xebec snaps and cause irreversible harm to his own crew and potentially to imu’s family. Besides,Imu is still mad about xebec choosing career over them and the lack of child support other than toy stuff animals and unhealthy snacks. Yes ,imu can be petty like that.

So imu hires a hit on xebec, saying xebec is a terrorist threat and a crazy manic. Then sends a message to the elders to inform the world government of this dangerous individual.

Battle of god valley happens and imu takes back Yriaf. Gives her a decision to either take crocodile and never met up with Edward again or hand the custody of crocodile to Edward and forbids yriaf from meeting them again, save for one day per 5 years. Imu allows for calling via den den mushi for during the whole time but that’s it .

The princess chose the 2nd option and tearfully waved good bye to her love and child.

Years pass, crocodile left the white beard pirate crew and joins the revolutionary. Also get knocked up by monkey d dragon.

When Imu founds out , they are not pleased , But At least they gotten a great grand child out of it.

His name is ……

Monkey d luffy.

Pure Chaos.

[raspberryfingers]

A Lion in the Garden -Tywin Lannister x Reader- (Part 10)

With the war over, the mood within the Red Keep seemed generally improved. This was especially true for Tywin and my grandmother, who no longer had to strain their pockets. Of course, the Lannister mines still supplied tremendous wealth, but why spend money when it’s not needed?

More than anything, I’d been happy to report the news back to Tywin.

I could recall vividly returning to the Red Keep—with nobody except for my family and Tywin being aware of why I’d left at all—and making my way up the stairs in the Tower of the Hand.

When I’d been let into Tywin’s office, he had looked at me with an almost relieved face.

“(Y/N), you’re back. When I hadn’t received a raven- well it had made me nervous,” he’d said, rising from his desk and making his way toward me.

“What happened? You got here quicker than any spies could have.”

When I had merely smiled at him, he’d instantly understood. He had smiled at me then, and he took me into his arms.

“I told you I could convince him, Tywin.”

“Oh I know, dear girl. I never doubted you. If anyone in the seven kingdoms was going to convince Robb Stark, it had to be you,” he’d whispered, admittedly making me blush.

“You flatter me, Tywin.”

“I’m merely telling the truth. I’m proud of you. What other man or woman that you know could’ve done that? Ended a years long war overnight. Only you, (Y/N). My nightshade of the garden.”

And even besides Tywin, I had received thank you’s from everyone but Cersei. Even Joffrey had called me into the throne room and told me I’d done a good job. Though, he did say he would’ve preferred Robb Stark dead, but I was saving him money. It was abundantly obvious Tywin had told him to thank me, but at least he’d done it.

Still, it did not make me hate the boy any less. Especially when I remembered he was going to marry Margaery at the end of the week. It was that event which had brought all sorts of people to King's Landing, and had made living in the Red Keep miserable.

Although, I was informed that the Red Viper, or Oberyn Martell, was present in the city. After learning that, a genius idea sparked in my head. When I presented it to my grandmother, she approved wholeheartedly. And so now, I found myself in Littlefinger’s brothel, hoping to have a nice conversation with the prince of Dorne.

Thankfully, when I walked in, everyone still had their clothes on.

“Prince Oberyn?”

A head shot up from among the bodies, and everyone else on the bed seemed to notice I was there.

“I am Prince Oberyn, who are you?” He asked, sitting up and looking at me.

“I’m (Y/N) Tyrell, your grace. I’ve come here to speak with you about something rather important,” I announced. He gave me a contemplative look, and then motioned for everyone else to leave, including a woman who he kissed rather passionately. I assumed that was Ellaria Sand.

When the room was empty, he sat at the edge of the bed and raised an eyebrow.

“What is it you’ve come to discuss, Lady (Y/N)?” He asked, reaching for his glass of wine and taking a sip.

“It’s less of a discussion and more of a proposition for you, Prince Oberyn, as your hatred for the Lannisters is rather well known,” I began, taking a seat on a nearby couch. I tried not to think about it too much.

“Are you here to blackmail me? Everyone knows you and Lord Tywin are quite close,” he remarked, crossing his arms and sighing. I chose to ignore the last comment.

“No, I’m not. I’m hoping this will be beneficial for both of us, granted you’re bold enough to do what I’d like you to,” I said, watching his curiosity be piqued.

“And what is that?”

“Prince Oberyn, I’m sure you’ve heard all the stories about our king. He is cruel, stupid, and unwilling to actually rule Westeros,” I began, giving some context for what I was going to ask.

“Of course.”

“Let me ask you, would you want your sister to marry someone like Joffrey?”

He sat up straighter, and his eyes darkened.

“No, but it’s not as if she could, because under someone’s orders, the mountain murdered her and her children.”

“I’m aware, Prince Oberyn. That’s why I’ve come to you, because you have quite a lot of reason to want revenge on the Lannisters, and I want Joffrey gone,” I said, hinting to him what I needed.

“You want me to kill the king?”

He did not sound surprised, or shocked. In fact, a small grin began to tug at his lips.

“No. I want you to take responsibility for it. Well, unless you’d like to kill him yourself, then be my guest. You see, originally my grandmother thought we might work with Littlefinger himself, he’s got quite the network and would naturally be able to help us. However, with my brother married to Sansa Stark, that was no longer a viable person for us to reach out to. Or rather, for my grandmother to. When she revealed the plot to me, I assured her I’d be able to take care of it myself. I’ve got quite the knowledge of poisons, and I wouldn’t have a hard time getting my hands on some if I truly wanted to. So I did,” I began to explain, gauging his reaction as I spoke.

“However, therein is the problem, I’m already known as the nightshade of the garden, and Cersei does not like me very much. If her son dies of poisoning… well, I’m sure you understand how that would look,” I said, to which he nodded.

“The blame will be on you, of course.”

“Exactly, and that trial would not bode well for me, not to mention ruin nearly everything for my family. But you. When I heard about you being in Kings Landing instead of your brother, I was overjoyed. As I said, you famously hate the Lannisters for what happened to your sister, and I-“

“Not all the Lannisters. Just Lord Tywin,” he said, a slight venom in his tone. I smiled, knowing he wished to make me uncomfortable for associating with him.

“You know, Prince Oberyn, it’s a funny thing. When Lord Tywin and I first began interacting with each other, I detested him. He and I had quite the argument, and your sister was the primary reason. Yes, I have come to enjoy Lord Tywin over time, but there are many things we heavily disagree upon, and there are many things that I hate him for. What happened to your sister is in that category, and I do not blame you for hating him for it. That’s why I’ve come to you with this proposition. To kill his grandson right under his nose would infuriate him, it would make him look weak. To him, that is worse than dying,” I explained, watching the thoughts process in his head. His posture was more attentive, and I could see that slowly he was being convinced, though this conversation was clearly not over.

“Yes, it would embarrass Lord Tywin, and I would have my head removed. Because that is what you want, right? Me to admit to his murder so that you are not blamed?” He clarified, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Not necessarily. You wouldn’t have to admit to it until later. Perhaps- well, let me explain what would happen. Joffrey would be poisoned, either by you or me, at his wedding. He’d die, Cersei would be furious, naturally. Depending on how long it takes her to actually start thinking, my time is limited, but the hope is that I somehow manage to find Tyw- Lord Tywin and tell him I believe it was you. I can explain my reasoning, say that I wouldn’t have done it with poison for it would’ve been too obvious. But, if Cersei does figure it out quickly I suspect he’ll come visit me in the cells anyways. He’ll want to know if I’ve truly betrayed him that way. Which of course, I have, but it’s not for him to know,” I began, explaining the first several steps in my plan.

“But, either way, I would install the thought into Tywin, give him-“

“You keep calling him Tywin. Just Tywin. You are close to him, aren’t you?” Oberyn interrupted, beginning to grin. I took a deep breath.

“Yes, I am. I suppose I might as well just admit that I’ve fallen in love with him, as everyone else seems to have figured that out too,” I said with a sigh. Prince Oberyn chuckled.

“You’re in love with him, yet you desire to betray him. Why?”

“I don’t desire to betray him, but I will. For my sister, I will. I refuse to see her married to Joffrey, to see her harmed and used by him. His younger brother is far more agreeable, and will make Margaery much safer and happier. For that, I would do anything,” I admitted, pressing my hands together and hoping he would understand.

“You are much like I am, then. When Elia was alive, I would’ve done anything for her. She was always my favorite, always my dear sister,” he said softly, looking down and smiling solemnly.

“And that is why I’m giving you the opportunity to kill the mountain without any consequences.”

His face shot up at that, confused and curious. I smiled.

“I will instill the thought that you’re guilty into Tywin’s mind. You will leave another crystal of the poison where you sat, and will naturally be arrested. Once this happens, you will be given a trial. At that trial, don’t say a thing. They’ll ask you questions, don’t answer. Demand a trial by combat,” I said, watching as it fell into place for him.

“The Lannisters will pick the mountain to fight me, and if I win, he’s dead and there are no legal consequences for me,” he finished, making me nod.

“Exactly. Granted that you do live, of course. That is the only risk, and what I believed you’d be most hesitant about,” I reasoned.

I watched him think, and the room was silent for a good minute.

“I will beat the mountain, and I will poison Joffrey myself, that way I am truly responsible for the crime,” he finally said, looking over at me. I nodded.

“Thank you, Prince Oberyn. When you do it, do it in front of everyone. Go up to Joffrey and Margaery, both of them will have an additional glass of wine, a different kind meant for dessert. Put the poison in Joffrey’s cup, it’ll be larger than Margaery’s. Make small talk with them, come off as offensive, perhaps smell the wine and comment that it’s quite nice, then pour the poison in while he’s not looking. The point is, let people see that you were near him and touching his cup,” I explained, already having everything perfectly envisioned.

“What if the cup should spill?”

“My grandmother will have a backup. I’ve picked out The Strangler for our king,” I revealed, making my way across the room and handing Oberyn a small, purple crystal. He looked up at me and raised an eyebrow.

“Have you ever seen this poison in action before?” He asked curiously.

“No, but I know what will happen. I don’t mean to be cruel, but I already knew where to find some of this, not to mention it will dissolve perfectly in his wine,” I said, watching Oberyn get up and store it in a small box, which he locked afterwards.

“Can I tell you something, Lady (Y/N)? Since we are being honest with each other,” he asked, facing me as he leaned against the wall.

“Of course,” I said, wondering what I might hear from him.

“I was going to poison Lord Tywin. Slowly, so he wouldn’t notice, but I intended to kill him,” he revealed. My mouth fell open, and a certain fear gripped me. I would not allow Tywin to be harmed, no matter what the cost.

“Don’t worry, I haven’t done it yet, and I don’t think I will. You’re right, this embarrassment will be worse for him. And, you seem to be a reasonable woman, from all that I’ve heard and my impression of you from this conversation. You’re smart. If you are in love with Lord Tywin, I will leave him be, simply out of respect,” he said, smiling. I still felt unnerved, but I nodded.

“Thank you, Prince Oberyn. I hated Tywin for years, nearly half of my life, in fact. As I said, he’s done things I’ll never forgive nor forget, but the man he is with me… he’s not Tywin Lannister, Warden of the West and Lord of Casterly Rock. He’s just… just Tywin,” I said, thinking about the times I’d seen him engaged in politics versus how he was with me. They were two different men.

“And I would wager that to him, you are not the Nightshade of the Garden, or Lady Tyrell. To him, you are probably just (Y/N),” Oberyn replied with a smile.

“And what makes you think that?”

“You become the best version of yourself around the people that you love.”

—————

I had returned to the Red Keep, excited to report my success to my grandmother. However, when I arrived at her room, she wasn’t there. According to her guards, she was waiting for me in my room.

I sighed, wishing she’d have told me that before I’d bothered walking all that way. It was curious, too. Why would she go to my room? She knew I was going to speak with Oberyn, but I hadn’t told her before I’d left.

When I got there and went inside, I found her sitting at my table with a letter in her hand. I didn’t think much of it yet.

“Grandmother. I went to your room first, I wanted to tell you that Prince Oberyn has agreed, we had quite the conversation about it, and-“

“(Y/N), dear.”

I paused, eyebrows raising as my grandmother addressed me.

“What?”

“Come sit down with me, please,” she said softly. There was a look of sadness in her eyes, and I felt my heart drop. I had no clue what to expect, but regardless I was terrified. Had something happened to Tywin?

“What is it, grandmother?” I asked, hurrying to sit down and praying to the gods it wasn’t horrible. Or at least, something so horrible I might cry. Was it Loras? Had something happened to the Starks?

“Your father came into my room about an hour ago, far happier than he ought to have been. He gave me this,” she said, handing me the letter.

I unfolded it and immediately began to read, my throat dry and my hands shaking slightly. If my father had been happy about it, I knew it could only mean one thing.

—————

I was running up the stairs, skirts clutched in my hands and tears running down my face. My grandmother had tried to console me, but it was useless, I’d run out of the room anyways.

I nearly tripped as I tried to make my way up all the stairs in the tower of the hand, which certainly weren’t easy to climb in my current condition. When I reached the top, I was somehow sobbing even harder.

All I wanted was to see Tywin.

The guards outside his office recognized me by now, and when they saw my tears, they only looked between each other awkwardly and opened the door.

I burst in, body racking with sobs as I made my way toward Tywin. He was sitting at his desk, but when the door opened and he saw me, he instantly rose and rushed toward me.

“(Y/N)?”

I said nothing, but threw myself into his arms. I heard the door close behind me, and I finally let myself fall apart. My face was buried into his chest and gods I couldn’t stop crying. I felt his arms wrap around me, and one hand came to my head while the other was holding my waist on the other side.

“What’s wrong, (Y/N)? What happened?” He asked softly, petting my hair as I wept.

“M-My father,” I managed to get out, choking on my tears and pushing my face into Tywin’s neck. It was warm, and his scent brought a great comfort.

“Your father?”

“Walder Frey- Walder Frey sent him a letter, r-requesting that I marry his eldest son,” I cried out, clutching Tywin for dear life. In all honesty, I believed my life was over. I’d told Tywin I’d need to marry soon, but I certainly hadn’t expected it to be now, nor to a son of Walder Frey of all people.

I felt Tywin inhale, and he pulled me back to look me in the eyes.

“Don’t worry yourself about it, (Y/N), I’ll convince your father not to. I’ll convince him to-“

“No! No, Tywin, that’s just it, he’s already sent a reply and he’s accepted!” I choked out, hot tears still streaming down my face as I shook. I pushed myself back into his arms, disconsolate and an absolute mess.

Tywin was silent, and normally I would’ve thought it strange, but I was in so much distress that I couldn’t even be bothered to think about it.

“Father believed it would cause conflict to say no, especially because Tyrion is marrying one of Walder Frey’s daughters. So he sent the raven without even bothering to tell me,” I said between sobs, wishing more than anything that I could just stay in Tywin’s arms forever, that I wouldn’t have to get married to anyone.

“(Y/N), you mustn’t worry.”

“I don’t want to get married, Tywin! I don’t want to get married and I don’t want to marry one of Walder Frey’s sons. I don’t want to- I can’t- I can’t…” I was beginning to hyperventilate, so distressed at the thought of being shipped off to live at the Twins. And once that was dealt with, my name would fade away just as every other woman’s did.

“(Y/N) listen to me, I’m going to speak with your father and convince him this isn’t wise,” Tywin said, stepping back and lifting my chin so I’d look at him. I shook my head.

“That’s just it, Tywin. My father doesn’t listen to anyone. He does whatever he pleases, he’s not going to- to listen to you or me for that matter,” I said, sniffling as Tywin brought his hands to my cheeks and wiped the tears away.

It was useless, of course, they just kept falling, and I kept spiraling. My gaze fell and I continued to hyperventilate.

“I don’t want to marry Walder Frey’s son. I don’t want to marry at all! There’s only one man I’d ever marry and it’s most certainly not Walder Frey’s son! I just want to be left alone, I want to stay the head of the Tyrell army and live in peace!” I spewed, hardly even processing what I was saying. Tywin’s eyes went wide, though I hadn’t realized what I’d said yet.

“(Y/N), breathe!” He said sharply, taking my hand in his and pressing it to my chest.

“Take deep breaths. Calm down,” he said softly, watching me try to take slower, longer breaths through my tears. When I no longer sounded erratic, he dropped his hand.

“I would rather kill myself than marry him,” I whispered, lip quivering. Tywin sighed and wiped my tears again. When he finished, looked down.

“You’re not going to, I’ll make sure of it.”

“Tywin, my father-“

“I’m not going to try and convince your father. I’m going to take care of Walder Frey’s son,” he said. My eyes shot up, and I was certain the surprise I felt was painted all over my face.

“Tywin… he doesn’t need to die. I don’t want to marry him but he doesn’t- he doesn’t deserve that,” I said, truly hoping he wouldn’t do such a thing.

“I don’t care. You can’t marry a dead man. Your father can arrange as many marriages for you as he likes, I’ll make sure none of them happen. I will have every single man in Westeros murdered before I see you married to them,” he said, hand coming under my chin. My heart began to skip, and my tears were ceasing to fall. What was he insinuating? We were both silent, simply gazing into each other's eyes.

“Tywin…”

“I will never let another man have you, (Y/N). Do you understand? You may not want to be mine, but until the day I die, you will be no one else’s. I could not stand to live and watch another man make you smile, to watch him hold you and kiss you. And more than that, I won’t stand by and watch you be miserable with Walder Frey’s son. I won’t see you happy with someone else, (Y/N), but I can’t see you unhappy with anyone at all,” he whispered, hands coming to both of my cheeks as he looked deep into my eyes.

My lips parted, and my entire body felt hot. My heart would not stop racing, and I feared I must’ve looked like a fool, because I felt another tear slide down my cheek. I was utterly overwhelmed.

Tywin was in love with me?

He was gazing at me with all the love and passion in the world, and I’d never seen him look so gorgeous. His eyes were the same turquoise blue they’d been in the sept at Loras’ wedding, but he looked as if he might cry. He looked so overcome with all of his feelings, just as I was with mine.

“Tywin…” I whispered, feeling two more tears fall. He looked terrified, as if he was waiting for me to be disgusted with him. I noticed it then, a tear falling from his own cheek.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, (Y/N), please… forgive me,” he whispered. His hands fell from my face, and my heart dropped as I watched him take a step back with his eyes on the ground.

He thought his feelings were unrequited.

“No! No… Tywin… Tywin, I love you. I love you!” I managed to gasp out, my throat dry and emotions a mess. I couldn’t let this slip, I couldn’t ruin this. He’d just admitted he felt the same way I did, I needed to do something.

When he processed what I’d said, his eyes widened, and he looked me in the eyes again. I watched his lips part, and he exhaled as if he’d been holding in a breath. There was a moment of silence, and I suddenly saw something spark in his eyes.

Tywin inhaled, and stepped back towards me. One of his hands came to my face, and he was so close I could hear his breath shaking. He moved his other hand, and licked his lips nervously as if trying to figure out where to put it. All of his actions were quick, and my heart was pounding so much I thought it might explode.

His other hand settled at my waist, and when he looked at me again, I knew.

Tywin hesitated for two seconds, and then—in one swift movement—pressed his lips to mine. I instantly kissed back, and I was so relieved I thought I might sob. I brought one hand to his face, and let the other come to the back of his head and bring him closer to me.

His lips were the closest to heaven I suspected I’d ever get, and I could feel his stubble brushing against my face. The hand on my hip pulled me closer, and for a moment, we broke apart and took sharp inhales. Our eyes caught each other, and we couldn’t keep ourselves from staring and trying to catch our breaths.

“Tywin…”

“(Y/N)…”

Both of his hands came to my face now, and he simply looked at me. I wished, in that moment more than ever, that I could know what he was thinking. But he smiled at me, truly smiled, and that told me all I needed to know. I smiled too, of course, and let my eyes close as he leaned back in and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to my lips.

“Tywin I never thought you’d- you’d feel the same,” I whispered, thinking about all the times I reprimanded myself after wanting to hold him or kiss him.

He laughed, and gave me a look that said ‘really?’

“You never thought I’d feel the same? You can imagine how I felt. Most of the time I wondered if you still hated me, I-“

I gave him a look, and he realized how ridiculous he sounded.

“Yes, I apologize. I’m aware I was quite unfair to you,” he said, making me giggle with satisfaction.

“When did you- when did you realize?” He asked after a moment, swallowing anxiously.

“Well, I realized the day we discussed my brother marrying Sansa. My grandmother was prodding me about my relationship with you, and I- well, when I really thought about it I realized she was right. But I’d- I’d had feelings for you long before that. My feelings developed when we went hunting together, but I’d say I fell in love with you the day we went to the smith. You told me you’d cut that man’s tongue out, and you began to pull your sword at those men on the street. You made me- you made me feel safe, you made me feel cared for,” I admitted, trying hard to think about it. He smiled softly and kissed my forehead.

“I’ve had an attraction towards you since you yelled at me in the garden. I needed that, and it was almost like a challenge. I wanted to make you like me, simply so I could prove you wrong, and it piqued my interest. I fell in love with you the day, or rather the night we went hunting. You were asleep, and I had to move you to your blankets. You were so light in my arms, and I gave you another blanket so you wouldn’t be cold. Normally I wouldn’t even have considered something like that,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

I smiled and buried my face in his chest, wrapping my arms around his torso. Gently, his arms came around me. By the way he was breathing, I could hear him smiling. One of his hands came to pet my hair, and I felt content.

“Tywin, I don’t want anyone else to know. I just want it to be us,” I said softly, lifting my head to look at him. He nodded.

“I was going to suggest the same. I don’t want my children getting involved, nor do I want others to know I have a weak point. It’s safer if we keep it a secret, at least until- well, until our relationship is more defined,” he said, eyes scanning my face.

“How do you mean, more defined?” I asked curiously. He seemed awkward as he tried to figure out a response.

“When you said there was only man you’d ever marry, who were you referencing?” He asked suddenly. I hadn’t even remembered saying that, but as I thought back, it hit me. It had been him I was referencing, of course.

When I looked up at him with a nervous face, he only smiled.

“You mean we’d only tell people if we were to get married?”

“Ideally, yes. Of course, relationships are much different than friendships, but I hope that eventually… well, it would just be smartest to do it then, should we be compatible and willing to marry each other,” he said, taking my hands in his. I thought I must’ve been dreaming. Perhaps Robb Stark’s best wishes had been fulfilled.

“O-Of course. And I’ve- I’ve truthfully never been in any sort of, well, committed relationship. So I was hoping you’d be patient, and perhaps more understanding,” I said nervously. He gave a small chuckle and kissed my forehead.

“Of course, my dear.”

That was new. Though, I rather liked it if I was honest.

When he pulled back, a question seemed to be on the tip of his tongue. I raised an eyebrow, motioning for him to ask it.

“What is the most you’ve ever done with a man? I don’t mind, I’d just like to know what I should be more… gentle with,” he said softly, giving my hand a squeeze.

“With a man?” I teased, watching a bit of shock settle into his face.

“Have you been with other women?”

“Not sexually, I’ve never been with anyone sexually. But I’ve kissed them once or twice, and perhaps I can see why men like it so much,” I admitted, gauging his reaction. I wondered if he might get upset. For a moment, he almost looked jealous.

“You’ve truly kissed other women?” He asked again. I nodded.

“I’ve told you before, Tywin, there’s nothing wrong with it. In the grand scheme of things, who cares? We live such short lives compared to all of history, why does it matter what we decide to do? The gods made our bodies beautiful for a reason, they gave us pleasure for a reason. If the gods cared so much, they wouldn’t have made us this way,” I said, cupping his face.

“You know, I’m surprised nobody has given you the title of bladed tongue yet. By all accounts you must be the most persuasive woman in all seven kingdoms,” he muttered, putting his hand on top of mine and kissing my palm.

“Thank you. And if it makes you feel better, Tywin, I prefer kissing you to anyone else. You’re the first person I’ve ever truly longed to kiss. Among other things,” I said, muttering the end to myself. If he noticed, it wasn’t obvious.

“Then kiss me again,” he said softly, gazing at my lips. I merely smiled and reached for his collar, pulling him toward me and doing as he’d suggested. He was so warm, and the feeling of butterflies in my stomach was still there. It was made even worse when his hands met my hips, his fingers gripping there and pulling me closer to him.

He broke away suddenly and inhaled, looking away.

“You blow on the fire inside of me, (Y/N). You make me need you,” he whispered, bringing his eyes back and gazing down at me. There were a lot of things I could’ve said, but I decided on this:

“Good. I want you to need me.”

As I said it, it was almost as if I saw lust sparking in his eyes, and it made me smile. I placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, and then began to walk out. When I reached the door, I turned and found him still standing there, looking at me in awe.

“I’ll see you soon, Tywin.”

“Of course, my dear.”

I smiled again and left the room, unable to keep myself from laughing when I’d shut the door behind me. I was positively giddy and over the moon with what had just happened. In fact, so much so, that I wouldn’t even remember why I’d gone to see him until the next time I spoke with my grandmother.

I did not want Walder Frey’s son to die, but in some cruel way, the thought of Tywin killing a man just so he could have me to himself was attractive, and dare I say even erotic.

I wanted to feel worse about the whole thing, but I simply couldn’t. I was Tywin’s now, just as he was mine. From that moment on, the two of us wouldn’t let a single thing stand between us. We loved each other, let the fearsome consequences come.

TAGLIST:

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@ladysindar @vesta-ro @exo-nova @paola-carter

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[abbatoirablaze]

Princess & Bunny, Chapter 2

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings:  taboo relationships, manipulation.

“What the fuck are they doing here?”

“Language young lady,” Linda Thrombey frowned.  Bunny took a deep breath as her stepbrother stood awkwardly on the front porch while they pulled up the driveway, “and if you must know, I told Ransom and a few of his friends to come get you and your sister.”

“Oh, is that Hughie?” Princess asked excitedly, already sitting forward in her seat until she’d had a view of her stepbrother.  Bunny frowned, crossing her arms, “Come on, Bunny, cheer up.  Hughie never did anything to you and you always treat him so rotten.”

“You’re really excited to see him?” she scowled, “especially after we just dropped Kingston off at grandpa Harlans?”

“About Kingston…Ransom’s friends don’t know anything about…that incident…and I’d prefer that neither one of you bring it up!”

“Oh…” Princess frowned, “o-okay.”

“I just think it’s for the best,” Linda said quickly, “I mean, we know that Ransom is the boy’s father, but we don’t want to put him in that kind of awkward situation with his friends, now do we?  You’re his stepsister, Bunny…mate or not, the rest of the world won’t see it as a good thing.”

“N-no…I guess not,” she frowned, sitting back in her seat, “a-am I allowed to talk about Kingston at all?”

“You shouldn’t!” Bunny said firmly, shooting her sister a look over her shoulder, “for all of spring break we are just two high school seniors forced to hang out with her stepbrother and his weird frat brothers.”

“I think they’re nice!”

“You think everyone is nice!  You are far too trusting, my little Princess,” Linda sighed, putting the car into park, “come on…let’s just get this show on the road.”

But Princess was already halfway out of the car; the 18-year-old panther quickly making her way towards Ransom, “Hughie!”

“Cece!” the normally stoic and sarcastic man smiled, catching her as she launched herself into his arms, “god I missed you.”

He buried his face in her neck, inhaling her scent deeply.  She began purring wildly as she nuzzled her face against his.  A few of his friends looked at one another, taken back by the fact that he just scented his stepsister.

“And you think this is a good idea?” Bunny scoffed, shooting her stepmother a look, “we’ll be lucky if by the end of this, she doesn’t end up with another cub.”

“And what about you?” Linda asked, raising her brow at the young woman, “I saw the way that you were eyeing up that panther in the back.  The boy with the dark hair and those steely eyes.”

Bunny blushed, her scent tinging ever so slightly from being called out by Linda, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, no?” she asked, “then what about the blonde lion who stood near him?  Or the bulky looking wolf in the corner?  Thinking of going from a big cat to a dog?”

Bunny shifted in her spot, “I-I’ve never so much as kissed anyone, mother…wh-why are you asking me these things?”

“Be careful is all I’m saying,” she shrugged, “I ended up with Ransom’s father so quickly…I was young.  Inexperienced.  I thought I knew the world, much like you.  But I didn’t know anything.  I don’t want you making the same mistakes that I did.”

“Ransom…”

“I love my son…but I know what he is,” she said sadly, “had I not been so trusting of the world, I would not have had him…I just want you to be prepared, Bunny.  I’m protecting you.”

“Is that what this is?” she asked, “You’re not just testing my boundaries?”

“Do you think that you need to be tested?”

“What happens if I do?”

“I think that you and your sister are in need of being tested before you go to college,” she admitted with a firm look, “and I think now is a good start to that.  You are a smart girl, Bunny…I don’t think that you’ll make the same mistakes that I did.”

“This is it!”

Bunny frowned as she looked around the large living room that she’d been in only weeks before.  And while her sister was excitedly following her stepbrother into the house, she stood in the same room, not wanting to go further into it.

“You know…you can’t just stand there for the whole two weeks you’re going to be here…people might start to confuse you with a coat rack if you do.”

Bunny nearly jumped out of her skin when she turned around.  The confidence was practically rolling off the lithe man in droves.  She’d recognized him from the first time she was in the house, but she didn’t know his name. 

He leaned forward ever so slightly, his nostrils flaring while he took in her scent, and a low rumble started in his chest, “you smell phenomenal, pretty kitty…do you have claws or are you just looking for a reason to purr?”

Despite the way his voice was affecting her, making her want to do nothing but scent him back, she hissed.  The man smirked, taking a step back.

“Johnny, leave her the hell alone!”

He held up his hands, as though he was innocent, “I’m not doing anything…just seeing if the kitty has claws.”

“She does…and she’ll fuck you up,” Ransom warned.  He shot his stepsister a look and she gave him an appreciative nod, “Come on, Bunny…let me show you the third floor where you and Princess will be staying.”

She nodded, quickly following behind Ransom.  He’d gone up the first set of stairs, and from her spot on the landing, Bunny could see Princess impatiently waiting on the third floor, “come on, guys.”

“We’re coming,” Ransom chuckled, making his way towards Princess, “god, Cece, you’re impatient as ever.”

She giggled, attaching herself back to Ransom’s side as he joined her, “or I just want you to show me every bit of this place.  I’m so excited Hughie.  Linda never let us see you.  She alw-“

“You know exactly why that is, Princess!” Bunny scowled, cutting her excitable sister off, “now stop being stupid.”

“Hey,” Ransom growled, glaring at Bunny, “stop being mean to her…you know, not everyone has a stick up their ass about everything all the time like you do, Bunny!”

“I’m just excited…Linda never lets us go anywhere!” Princess said sadly, “It-it’s always home, or the publishing company…or her real estate business…or Harlans…I just-“

“Hey…hey…” Ransom said quickly, cutting her off, “it’s okay, Princess.  Bunny’s just being a pain.  You  know how she is sometimes…it’s nothing new.  And we’ve always dealt with it before…and we have each other again, now.”

“Yeah…” she agreed, sniffling at Ransom.  He was quick to wipe away the tears before they fell down her cheeks, “she’s not sweet to me like you are, Hughie…”

Bunny rolled her eyes, “Whatever…where are we sleeping?  I want to put my stuff down somewhere!”

“I want to stay in Hughie’s room!” Princess said quickly, turning all of her attention back to the alpha, “please, say I can stay in your room with you, Hughie.  Pretty please.  Please!  Ple-“

“If that’s what you want!” he said quickly, already caving in to her doe eyes, “I-we were going to have you girls stay in one of the spare rooms on the top floor so the guys don’t bug you as much.  But if you want to stay with me, Princess…”

“Of course I do, Hughie!” she giggled, pressing herself tightly against Ransom and wrapping her arms around his neck, “oh this is going to be the best two weeks ever.  It’ll be just like when you lived at home…”&

“Does anyone else think that Ransom’s stepsisters are a little…”

“Odd?” Jake Jensen voiced.  His eyes trailed towards the stairs.  He knew that a while ago, Ransom had taken them upstairs to show them the room they’d be staying in. 

A few of the guys chattered around the coffee table as they sipped on their beers and watched the game that was going on.  Some nodded along, agreeing on how they noticed Ransom was acting, and how the sisters were responding.

“The one is just…all over him!  Did anyone else think that was weird?”

“And he scented her when we got them!”

“What?”  

“And the other acts like she hates him…”

“Maybe she does?”

Bucky glared at Johnny, “she seems like she’s pretty smart…the one that wasn’t clinging to Drysdale…maybe there’s a reason she hates him…ever think of that?  Probably has something to do with how much of a creep he was being with her sister.”

“Because Drysdale is a dick!”

“No, Buck is right.  I think.  The other one is all over him!” Steve repeated, his confusion leaking through the exclamation, “they’re too close for even stepsiblings.”

“Maybe that’s why she hates him!” Johnny pointed out as he finally realized what the two were saying.  He used his tongue and pressed it to the inside of his cheek, “big step bro playing hide the pickle with her twin and not her…”

“God, why do you have to be so disgusting, Johnny!” Jake groaned, “that’s his stepsister.”

“Steve and Bucky said it first!”

“You guys…that’s not what you were saying, was it?”

Bucky shrugged, “it’s what it looks like!”

“I’m sorry, those twins are hot,” Johnny began, “if they were my sisters, step or not, I’m gladly doing whatever position they ask.  I know you don’t get much action, Jensen, but the one looks like she just lives to please…imagine her beneat-”

“Come on, man.  That’s gross!”

“Maybe Storm is right,” one of the other panthers agreed, “she really is all over him while the other one hates him.”

“Jealousy?”

“I mean the one that hangs off him-that one seems pretty stupid,” one of the guys laughed, “Maybe the grumpy bitch just hates him because he’s all over her and the ditz is too stupid to realize it.”

“My sister isn’t a ditz,” a feminine voice replied all too quickly.  The guys tore their eyes from the game to see Bunny in a pair of sweatpants and a crop top tee.  Instantly regret laced their scents.  She inhaled, and sneered, “you guys have one thing right though…I do fucking hate Ransom…and I hate all of you too…you self-righteous, self-serving pricks.”

“We-“

“Save it,” she spat, glaring at Jake, “the least you ingrates could do is make sure that one of the people you’re talking about isn’t in the god damned kitchen making food.”

“Is Ran-“

“Princess wanted to see the campus,” she said firmly, shaking her head at the question, “you’re lucky that Ransom took her out before your little game started…if he heard you talking about Princess like that, he’d personally gut each and everyone of you.”

“You won’t tell him, will you?”

Her eyes snapped to Buckys, “I may hate that asshole, but I don’t hate Princess…she thinks the world of you pricks already, and I’m not going to be the one to disillusion her to that.”

Chapter 3

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown

[survivalove]

the more feminist theory I read and the more I engage with fandom, the more I’m like 😵‍💫😵‍💫

on the fandom side you have girls and women who mostly believe in choice feminism and the idea that any choice a woman makes is feminist and yet the media they engage with is predominantly written by men which includes analyzing the choices they make for their female characters.

so when a female character makes a choice they agree with, they can blame this on the man that made them, further validating their belief in choice feminism and going even further to project on said character by saying if they wrote the character (fanfiction) or if they were the character (projection), the female character would obviously make the more feminist choice.

in canon, said female character is usually hyperfeminine and ends up married with some guy, which the fandom usually pins on the male creator’s preference.

they decide that the more feminist version of the character would be decidedly less feminine and/or (because the or matters) ironically, married to another man. she becomes a different character altogether, (when it comes to personality etc.) and more like whoever is writing her or projecting onto her at the moment.

and honestly, I just feel like, yeah, most male writers suck at writing girls. most female characters written by men would be better off written by women and all female characters could definitely be more feminist but like, so can all women?

which leads me to my two questions:

why don’t y’all just engage with more media written by women? and what do you do when those female characters aren’t exactly the most feminist?

what do y’all do when the women in your life (friends, family, idk) aren’t making the most feminist choices when it comes to who they wanna be with or what they wanna do?

personally, I think the misconception that every choice a woman can make is feminist, is giving so much fandoms brainrot and exclusively engaging with media written by men is only giving y’all validation. and when y’all do interact with media written by women, all critical thinking goes out the window.

I once saw a youtuber talk about the “not like other girls” trope using an example of katniss saying, “Other girls our age, I’ve heard them talking about boys, or other girls, or clothes. Madge and I aren’t gossipy and clothes bore me to tears.” even though, they maintained she was very well written, the comments went ballistic at the slight criticism.

because in fandom, female character written by women == peak feminist, and only the female characters written by men that are tomboys and/or end up with the popular male characters can be feminist too. it’s very black and white and there’s no room for nuance. while discussing and fighting over fictional female characters as if they’re actually real people, fandom’s choice feminist views fail to address the nuances that actually exist within real women. and the harsh truth that not every choice a woman makes is a feminist one.

[backjustforberena]

I've listened to Steve's interview about corlys having an affair where he mentions that Corlys is a man who passionately loves his wife but views other women merely as distractions to pass time. This description perfectly matches the portrayal of Corlys in the show. In my view, this is accurate because Corlys embodies a typical misogynist who believes that the only woman with rights is his wife. He likely sees her as an extension of himself—someone he chose, wants to share his life with, and the mother of his children.

I believe Corlys exhibits a significant degree of 'exceptionalism' in his view of women: he never considers Baela or Rhaena as heirs—his actions in the last episode seemed impulsive, driven by Rhaenys's death - preferring a bastard grandson; he discredits Rhaenyra by referring to her as 'that girl' and 'that woman' despite her being his queen. This attitude is deeply misogynistic, especially considering he has never referred to Daemon or Viserys in a derogatory manner, despite his low regard for them and the fact that Daemon 'killed' Laenor and Vaemond and neglected Laena and Viserys refused to marry Laena. If they follow the book, he will support the idea that a brother takes precedence over an older sister, with Rhaenyra's case being an exception that must remain such.

What's your opinion about that? 😊

Ooooh it's a good question. And I can totally take your meaning and see why you've come to the conclusions that you have. Certainly, I'd never say that Corlys is exempt from being misogynistic. I think that he's definitely got something baked-in, I think it'd be daft to assume otherwise. However, I actually reject most of this. Or, at least, I don't find the evidence compelling enough. There are reasonable alternative explanations for Corlys's actions. Or, alternative factors that may guide his hand, his thoughts and his vocabulary other than just the idea that he may be misogynistic. I'll break it down and feel free to disagree. I'm also of the opinion that the writing and the story is interpretive enough that we can't be sure and that does just mean that I could be wrong.

Firstly, the bit in the interview (and I listened to it last night so forgive me if I am misinterpreting, I don't have the exact quote) is talking about Steve trying to get his head around the Hull boys and the idea that Corlys has had these children. It's not a cemented view, it's not something he's been given by the showrunners or writers, it's simply one explanation that might have explained one child, or two children with a different mother, whilst on his travels. But that isn't the scenario we're presented with (the two boys being local and having the same mother) and Steve has said that he's still having ongoing conversations with himself in order to explain this part of Corlys's life. That Corlys having sexual relations whilst away at sea isn't without the realm of possibility (and I do agree there) but it's not a fact of Corlys's characterisation and was just a starting point in trying to wade through these new details the writers dumped on him.

he never considers Baela or Rhaena as heirs—his actions in the last episode seemed impulsive, driven by Rhaenys's death - preferring a bastard grandson

When it comes to his succession, certainly, he shows reluctance to name Baela or Rhaena. He doesn't bite Rhaenys's hand off when she makes these suggestions. But, I'd also argue that he has reasons other than their sex to reject them as his heirs during the various scenes where that's done. I don't believe that their gender is the first and foremost and, especially, only reason for him to not entertain the idea.

I'm not going to go through each scene but I don't think he views Rhaenys's suggestion as a serious one in 1x07 not because Baela is a girl, but because he'd be disinheriting his son, and therefore disinheriting the boys, potentially placing them in danger and destroying his grand scheme that, in this point of grief, has to be worth it. His ambition has to be worth the price and so he just entrenches himself.

Also, what Rhaenys is asking is exceptional. It goes against most, if not all, precedents. It's disinheriting a first-born son for a granddaughter from a younger, female line.

Following that, he just goes off and his heir is Lucerys and it doesn't matter that he doesn't have Velaryon blood. It's not a rejection of Baela but a prioritising of Lucerys. There's no reason to consider any other path and every reason to avoid the other: what with Viserys saying he's going to start cutting tongues if rumours start swirling over bloodlines.

Then we have the picnic scene. Does his individual view of Rhaena colour him here? Yes. But he also rejects Joffrey. And he rejects both of them for exactly the same reasons - they don't know ships. Could we think that, if Rhaena had been a boy, he'd just pass the inheritance to her? I don't know. I don't think we can be sure. But that conversation, to me, also doesn't come across as serious and comes across as a subject he wants to avoid, which, to me, suggests that his head is muddled rather than ruled by concrete prejudices.

he discredits Rhaenyra by referring to her as 'that girl' and 'that woman' despite her being his queen. This attitude is deeply misogynistic

Is it misogynsitic? Yes, insofar as it reduces Rhaenyra and the names are gender-based. But he has plenty of reasons to do that other than to just hate on her because she's a woman. He sees her as a root cause for a lot of his pain, troubles, and the deaths of his family. I'd call her names as well. It's also othering her and keeping her at a distance, which suits him and suits his position in relation to the war effort in Series 2, which is very much on the edge of things. Viserys and Daemon have not just the advantage of gender... Corlys just liked them. Even if he disagreed with their actions (I speak of Viserys here, mainly). Not only does he not agree with what Rhaenyra has done, he also just doesn't like Rhaenyra.

Has Corlys's opinion of Daemon changed following Vaemond's death? I'm not sure we can say. Off the top of my head, he only refers to Daemon once by any sort of name, and he uses his first name because he's the first person to talk in the scene and he needed to call Daemon by his name to clue in the audience. I think that's right, at least.

In conclusion, I don't have the ability to make sweeping statements on Corlys's views on women. I think for every point, there is generally a counterpoint. And we've never seen him explicitly scoff at someone purely on the basis of gender, in isolation, with no other factors to consider. So, I generally err on the side of caution.

[iridescentis]

ALRIGTY TIME FOR EPISODE TWO THOUGHTS HERE WE GO

ah the continuation of the meet cute, very sweet but bro she is walking away calm yourself

ludmila is the cutest

so much is happening i cant keep up

ANGIE IS THE BEST <3333 MY FAVOURITE <3333 THE LOVE AND LIGHT OF MY LIFE

hey dude i think you're the weird one not her

i have no idea how to feel about the adult characters other than angie they're all so all over the place

okay fantasy montage AND A MUSICAL NUMBER

okay...you interacted for like 2 minutes max...where is this going

this song is beautiful but GIRL YOU MET HIM ONCE AND YOU LOVE HIM???

cami is an icon

PABLO YOU ARE A CARRYING THIS PLOT SIR <333

okay im dont love jade but she has a point, hiring a random woman who just said something sweet to your daughter isn't the best move??

i like that this feels less like the good guys versus bullies and more like a rivalry because they both hold their ground, i think i prefer this dynamic to the ámbar and co dynamic?? it's less one sided which is fun

francesca is also an icon

i dont know what this air drawing is but it is so cute

ANGIE AND VIOLETTA HAVE THE CUTEST DYNAMIC THEY ARE SO SWEET <3

the little 'violetta! :o'

okay my boy is dancing you are so gonna get caught by your boss dude

oh nope that's francesca

WHY IS HE IN LOVE YOU MET HER ONCE CALM DOWN

bro im gonna cry this is so sweet she just wants her mum man

DRAMAAA YES I LOVE THIS KIND OF DRAMA im sorry the secret overhearing of stuff is my favourite part

why is everyone in love with tómas i was expecting him to be the underdog character

BRO ARE YOU IN HER HOUSE????

im not sure if hallucinations or trespassing is better tbh

not a fan of the 'overprotective dad about boys' trope especially since this her dad isn't as funny about it as miguel

pablo is so <333

oh spontaneous band moment! i love that

that was so fun!

pablo is still <3333

i dont care ludmila should be able to do whatever she wants i vehemently dislike her boyfriend

are angie and pablo going to become a thing because i really hope so they are precious

I STILL DON'T LIKE HIM! YOU SUCK!!!!

ANGIE IS THE PRETTIEST I WILL CRY

awh <3

OKAY WE ARE DONE :D this is both very fast paced and also very slow burn but im loving it so far! i don't really have the time to binge it constantly like i did with soy luna (i had barely any classes to work for last time, now i have loads so </3) but will try to watch a couple per week!

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 4

Episode 7: Meet Cute Crush

~In the Man Cave~

"Remind me again why we're watching this crap?" (y/n) asked Charlotte as she sat next to the girl at the supercomputer, which had some crappy, online makeup tutorial up on the screen. The room was quiet, peaceful, tranquil compared to the usual hustle and bustle that occurred with several males stampeding through the Man Cave, so they were taking the time to just chill out, have some quality girl time with no silly boys around to cause them any issues. 

Schwoz was off doing god knows what and Henry and Ray were off responding to an emergency call, which left them to do whatever the hell they wanted, and that just so happened to be researching some new makeup tips from teenage wannabe gurus.

Now, (y/n) was definitely missing her boyfriend, feeling like the peace was unnatural in her home as it was him that usually made her life so varied and exciting, but she'd chosen not to follow him on this particular mission, stating that she was sure that three superheroes were a little excessive for a playground problem. 

Ray had turned a little mopey at that, whining that he always worked better with her around and with his little secret still under his belt, he didn't want to leave. But she insisted, saying that she'd be at home waiting for him to come back. And that's where they left it, Henry dragging his boss to the tubes as (y/n) pulled a chair up to the computer so she could take the afternoon off.

"Because! It's fun and you never know, you might get some ideas for wooing Ray." Charlotte replied, scrolling through several videos until she found one that looked pretty good, a smiling, brown-haired girl in the thumbnail. The woman on her left rolled her eyes, trying not to let the sly comment get to her, but a blush hit her cheeks, all the same, feeling slightly bashful that the teen loved to tease her about her relationship. 

Not one for romantics, Charlotte normally repulsed any ideas of love, preferring to stick to her friends, studies and job, however, she couldn't ignore this couple, not when she knew what was in store and how easy it was to make her squeal.

"He's plenty wooed already, just play the video." (y/n) groaned, hearing the quiet giggles and seeing the way Charlotte's shoulders were shaking with mirth at how she was quick to get playfully defensive. She hit play anyway, leaning back in her chair as the online teen began to speak.

"Now, to save money on eyeshadow, I suggest using...paprika!" The girl, called Lauren, smiled and (y/n) and Charlotte frowned when she began smearing it over her eyelids, making the older woman cringe at how crusty and patchy it was, not forgetting stupidly dangerous. 

She was so glad that she was born in the eighties, way back when there was no such thing as the internet and dumb tutorials like this one because she just knew that she might have followed the advice like so many teens sat at home right now. At least Charlotte had common sense and looked just as sceptical as she did.

"If her eyeball isn't on fire now, then it will be when she gets conjunctivitis." (y/n) snorted, watching the girl rub the powder all over her eye area, clearly believing that she had discovered some revolutionary technique for a perfect smokey eye. With her face looking...questionable, Lauren moved on to her next tip, which the girls weren't particularly looking forward to but they kept watching, interested to see how she was gonna save their dollars again.

"And instead of foundation, which is really expensive, you can use...hummus!" She exclaimed, lifting up her pot of crushed chickpeas and that's when (y/n) stopped caring. This had to be satire or some kind of prank because there was no way that anyone would smear a thick, lumpy, vaguely-but-not-really, skin-coloured mush on their face. However, when Lauren actually started doing it, rubbing the hummus into her skin with a tissue, she realised that this was genuine belief. Charlotte slumped in her seat, the truth hitting her too and she was ready to turn it off before any more of their brain cells died, but it turned out that there was one last thing to listen to. "Oh, and notice how I'm not using a sponge! This is just an old tissue found in the trash."

"Yeah, I'm not putting hummus on ma face," Charlotte stated dryly, clicking off the video since they'd both had enough stupidity for one day, the woman silently agreeing that any price for real foundation was better than walking around with dip on your face, but now they were left with nothing to do. Luckily for them though, as one door closed, another one opened and the tube alarm sounded as the glass dropped, signalling the triumphant return of Captain Man and Kid Danger. (y/n) immediately spun her chair around, smiling brightly as her boyfriend came down with his sidekick, both of them landing with a Slush Puppie in their hand.

"Hey, back so soon?" The woman teased, her grin growing as she walked across the room, intent on meeting Ray halfway as they came down the steps and his gaze softened at the sight of her happily skipping towards him. His free arm extended to take her into his embrace after a lonely mission without her; yeah, he'd had Henry, but he wasn't her, nowhere near being her equivalent, and even though it had only been a couple hours, he was ready to be back by her side. 

"You make it sound like a bad thing." He smirked, making Henry and Charlotte share an eye roll at how they'd been "reunited" for less than ten seconds and the flirting was already at one hundred, his hand splayed out on her back and hers trailing up his chest, eyeing up the frozen slush drink for a second. Oh yeah, she'd be sipping that in a few moments, but first, she had to feedback to his comment and return his flirtatious tone, something she wasn't able to resist. 

"Never." She replied, standing on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips, which he hungrily returned after having been separated from his soulmate for too long in his opinion. The teens stood patiently, waiting for them to break apart since they were used to it at this point and it was common knowledge that if you let them kiss it out, they'd eventually start listening again, albeit holding hands or something similarly gross. 

(y/n) was the first one to let go, giggling when he whispered in her ear, probably a filthy, cheeky line that he didn't want the kids to hear but couldn't help but tell her just to make her tummy flutter. Ugh, couldn't they get a room?

"So, what happened? Come on, put her down, it's only been two hours." Charlotte groaned exasperatedly, making the two straighten themselves out slightly when it clicked that they were being touchy again and weren't the only ones in the room, despite it feeling like that. (y/n) pulled back, choosing to slot herself against Ray's side where he would be free to keep his arm around her and presses any number of kisses against her temple, whilst also allowing her to bring his slushie to her mouth. There was no way she wasn't gonna steal his drink, that's just what she did.

"Oh, well, we showed up at the playground..." Ray started, passing the cup to his girl once he caught her gaze on his right hand and he instantly knew that her quirk was back, the one that he had a love/hate relationship with. He never got to finish any sodas, coffees, slushies, anything that she liked because he could never resist those puppy-dog eyes that she had when she wanted to share. He would've gotten one for her too, but he didn't, he knew it wouldn't be the same; his girl didn't want her own drink, she wanted them to share because it came from him and that's what he loved.

"Yeah, and there's like a bunch of second-graders playing in the sandbox." Henry continued, side-eyeing the way they were slurping from the same straw and totally not paying attention. Jeez, if this was a two-hour deficit, what would a longer period result in? Ray sip, (y/n) sip, Ray sip, (y/n) sip, that's how it went and in between the strawberry ice, he kissed and mumbled into her hair, only stopping when he thought he should add something completely redundant to the conversation. "They were playing the sandbox!"

"Yeah, I just said that, stop kissing your girlfriend. She's not gonna disappear, dude." Henry told him, making Ray pause to frown at the kid who'd just burst their happy, little bubble of love. His girl blushed but said nothing, knowing that Henry meant nothing by it, he was just a typical teen who was irked by his boss' nuzzling and nauseating muttering. 

And she didn't mind, you'd have thought that she'd bite back, tell him that she'd waited far too long for his kisses to say no to them, but she'd just gave him a subtle, knowing smirk. Little did anyone know, but Henry was taking a trip to New York to see a certain someone, a secret he'd told only her about and she knew that his nerves were getting to him and any romance was freaking him out a bit.

"All right, all right, we're breaking it up. Continue, doofus..." She soothed the boy, leading her boyfriend over to the couch where the boys could sit after their tricky mission and Henry let it go when he saw how she actively toned it down. They stood for a moment, not sitting down since the excitement of the tale gripped the boys more than their need to rest; they were superheroes, rest was for babies.

"Right, but what the kids didn't realise was..." Ray started, now holding his girl's hand since his youngest sidekick was being so tetchy. He didn't know why he hadn't asked, all he knew was that she and Henry had been whispering recently with red cheeks and wide smirks, so he was aware that something was up. They were bonding over something, which warmed his heart as it was plain to see that he was going to her for advice (a smart move considering how Ray wasn't known for being discreet) and he saw no reason to start ripping holes in that. She'd tell him at some point, probably when they had their end-of-the-day chat in bed or it would come out for everyone to hear, either way, he trusted her, he trusted both of them.

"That, uh...there was a nest of scorpions right in the sandbox." Henry went on, taking a long slurp from his slushie as (y/n) and Charlotte's mouths dropped in horror. Scorpions in a children's play box? Why were they finding that amusing? Just the thought of those poor, little kids reaching out to make a sandcastle, digging through the box to have a good time, only to get stung by some vicious arachnids, was dreadful for the girls and suddenly, (y/n) kinda wished she'd gone along to ensure everyone's safety. "Scorpions?!"

"And they were crawling all over them and they were freaking out—" "Oh, yeah, arghhh, they're on my face!!! Ahhh, for the love of God—" Henry and Ray screeched, imitating the utter terror from the children who'd been unfortunate enough to play in the sandbox and the boys slumped down as they finished their screaming, sniggering to one another about how amusing it was. 

With an unamused expression, (y/n) plonked down next to her boyfriend, instead of sitting on his lap like normal, and tucked her feet under herself as his arm went over her head to rest on the couch's back and open up his side for snuggles. She moved in closer, of course, she did, carefully gauging the kid's reaction as he spread out on the other half of the sofa and when she saw that he didn't care, her head rested against Ray's chest, close to the join of his shoulder thus they'd stay cute but not suffocatingly so.

"So, the innocent kids were covered in tiny creatures with deadly stingers, what next?" The woman asked her boyfriend, guiding his straw into her mouth again for a quick sip before he spoke again, her hand resting on his pec just to close the circle of intimacy. It was nice and she wondered why they couldn't stay like that forever, just her, him, their friends and fucking comfortable couch for them to relax into, perfect serenity.

"Then we just grabbed a fire hose." "A big, old fire hose." Ray looked down at her and shrugged with Henry, finishing the story rather anticlimactically after talking about scorpions and whatnot, his flare for adding drama really making it out to be some daring rescue, but when it came down to it, the whole thing had been a pretty simple job. He sucked on his slushie a bit more, noticing how it was noticeably lighter now that it had two people drinking from it but one look at his pretty girl and how she was absentmindedly drawing patterns on his suit with her finger and it suddenly didn't matter. He'd give up all his beverages if it meant he got to have her, quirks and all.

"Just, uh, sprayed the scorpions of the kids." He concluded, chuckling with the boy for some reason that went over the girls' heads. Obviously, it must have been much more hilarious to witness, otherwise, Ray's shaking wouldn't disturb (y/n) from her drawing, forcing her to sit up properly so she and Charlotte could give them slightly judgemental looks. Okay, maybe the image of blasting an unsuspecting toddler with a beam of highly pressurised water was a bit funny, but because they were upstanding people with morals, (y/n) and Charlotte would never divulge that. And they wouldn't have to; midway through their giggles, the superhero and sidekick were interrupted by a minor alarm from the computer, telling them that someone from Junk-N-Stuff was trying to get in contact.

"Hey, that's Jasper, calling from upstairs," Charlotte mentioned and wandered over to answer the call, ending the moment for everyone since every time that boy rang, it presented them with a problem. Back to work, it was, no more snuggling and the three on the couch instantly straightened out, getting ready to go and help with whatever issue Jasper couldn't solve by himself.

"Oh, great," Ray grumbled sarcastically, silently ruing the day he took that kid into his employment, but honestly, Jasper had been getting better and he was starting to like him a smidge, not that he'd ever admit it. He had a tendency for interrupting cuddling, movie-watching, napping, kissing, talking, working out, and other...physical activities, so any buzz was a red flag going up in Ray's mind, but like always, they answered, worried that this time, like any other time, could be the one where Jasper really was crying wolf. 

"Hey, what's up?" Charlotte answered the call instantly, opening the line so they could see the teen cowering in the storeroom. He was calling from his phone, which was odd since he could've just used the cameras near the counter and cash register, so the fact that he'd had to go into the back said a lot; someone was out on the shop floor and he didn't know how to deal with them. "Hey, it's me, Jasper."

"Yeah, we can see that, Curly." (y/n) replied sarcastically, throwing the comment over her shoulder since she was still partially snuggling with her boyfriend, although she still retained her kind, playful smile, which shined through her voice, so Jasper didn't take it to heart. He just nodded slightly and refocused on the purpose of his call, telling them about the very angry child he was being forced to deal with at that moment.

"Cool, uh, so Henry..." He started, making the three on the couch stand up and walk over since it was kinda hard to have a decent conversation when they could barely see the monitors. It sucked to stand up again so soon after coming back from a job but they didn't mind, if Jasper had a problem, so did they and (y/n) and Ray could hold hands or something. No biggie. "Yeah, what's up, big dog?"

"Your sister is here!" Jasper hissed, making them all frown. Piper was in Junk-N-Stuff, ew, that made Ray's hair prickle and stand-on-end, knowing that he had a brat on the premises and it was even more shocking for Henry. His sister never came for friendly visits, mainly because they were never that friendly to each other, so hearing that she'd come into his place of work, where there was super-secret, super important stuff lying around, made alarm bells ring in his head. "Wha—why? What does she want?"

"I don't know. I told her you were busy and then she got mad and said she's not leaving until she talks to you." The boy explained, making Henry let out a long, tired sigh. He'd already done so much work today and it wasn't even mid-afternoon yet, and now he had to go see his moody, little sister. He had all the luck.

"Are you sure she's mad?" He asked, hoping that if she was in a reasonable mood, then it would be an easy problem to fix no then he'd be able to go back to enjoying the precious free time he had to relax, but fate wasn't that kind to him. When was Piper ever in a good mood when it came to him? "Yeah, look at her pacing angrily" Jasper turned the camera, so they could see past the beaded door curtain and witness how the girl was burning a groove into the tiles by how quickly she was marching around. Yikes, she was in a terrible mood and Henry was gonna be taking the brunt of it.

"Look, just tell her that I'll see her at home before I leave for New York," Henry told him, sparking Ray's interest when he heard about the secretive trip. No one had told him that his sidekick was going away, to New York of all places, and even though he couldn't make the connection of who was in New York, he still wanted to know every little detail. "You're going to New York?"

"He sure is! For a whole weekend!" (y/n) squealed, giving the boy a quick side hug at the reminder that he was finally taking her advice and seeing the Game Shaker girl again, not just on a video call, but actually flying out to her city for Valentine's Day, it just set off her hopeless romantic heart. Henry was nervous, terrified, now realising why Ray had always gotten clammy and cowardly whenever he came close to telling his girl about how he loved her, but he also had the number one cheerleader for cheesy romance on his side and with her wisdom and encouragement, his plane ticket was bought and he was leaving in a couple of days. 

It was just something between them, it had to be if they wanted it to stay lowkey, but nothing could stop (y/n)'s excitement or the spontaneous hugs she kept giving him, saying it was the cutest thing she'd ever heard when he told her how he was gonna give Babe a rose and everything. Be still her beating heart.

"Why?" Ray asked, unable to choose between his confusion or how his soul fluttered when his sweet girl latched onto his sidekick with pure elation written all over her face, making him wonder what all the hype was about. Was this the thing they'd been whispering about? And why she'd been extra giggly and smiley for the past week? Charlotte looked like she knew something, not much, but she wasn't dying to know like he was, having been told a few tidbits here and there, just enough for her to keep her nose out, something Ray was incapable of doing.

"'Cause, uh...you don't need to know why that's why," Henry told him sassily, causing his boss to back off at how standoffish he was being, which was the exact reaction he wanted. No questions, no prying, just him and his flight so he could go see the girl he had a massive crush on. He like-liked her, which was a lot for him and he, plus (y/n), would be damned if anything went wrong.

"Hey, I already tried telling Piper you'll talk to her later." Jasper butted in, wanting to get back to the original point, despite him also wanting to know about this trip. It didn't matter though, he'd find out eventually, right now they still had a very angry problem to deal with. "And?"

"She grabbed my earlobe and yanked it. Really hard! And then she started asking all sorts of questions about Junk-N-Stuff, why you're never here, why there's no customers... Oh, and then she wanted to see if she can speak to (y/n), "the nice lady who works here with her dumb boyfriend." Don't know why though." Jasper told them, making (y/n) snort at her description as Ray grumpily came back over, not so happy to be known as the "dumb boyfriend". 

He wrapped an arm around his girl's shoulders, looking down at her with a dopey smile, the one he always had plastered on his face when she was next to him because she made him happy and so full of love, if anyone could calm that brat it was her, "the nice lady".

"All right, sweet girl, maybe you and Henry better go upstairs and get rid of his sister." The man suggested, this time pressing a kiss against her temple before she nodded. Sooner or later, Piper would barge into the back, looking for her brother and would no doubt accidentally stumble into the elevator, thus revealing the Man Cave and every that they did in there, which was a big no-no. Therefore, if Piper wanted to speak with Henry and (y/n), then they'd have to go up there and face her wrath.

"Sure thing, handsome. We'll be back in a sec." (y/n) smiled, giving Ray a parting kiss for a split-second before she pulled away and took a long sip of his slushie, savouring the taste since she knew that by the time she came back downstairs, it would be long gone. He gave her a mock-offended gaze, acting as though he had wanted that sip for himself, not that he'd ever not share with her. 

"Will I ever be able to drink something without you drinking it too?" He asked playfully, seeing her semi-embarrassed, semi-proud smirk and he didn't even need a reply. She couldn't help it, his stuff always tasted so much nicer and if he ever wanted her to stop, she would, he'd just never complained, not even now.

"Nope, sorry, doofus. Come on, Hen." (y/n) giggled and gestured for the boy to follow her, assuming that he was already chewing some gum or about to do so because of the costume he was still wearing, but he just kept following her, unaware that if he stepped out to see his sister now, she'd get the shock of her life and he'd have a lot of explaining to do. The woman stopped, making him wonder why she wasn't going to the elevator; maybe she wanted one last hug from Ray or one last kiss, whatever it was, he wasn't gonna stop until...

"Uh, kid?" Ray started, stirring the rapidly melted slush in his cup as he saw the problem and shared an amused look with his girlfriend. The boy had been doing the same job with the same rules for three years, but he still missed things, which was worryingly cute. Thank god they were around or else everyone would know about his secret identity or at least Piper would. "Huh? What?"

"Maybe you wanna chew some gum before you go see your sister?" The man asked him, making Henry scoff under his breath. Why would he need to do that? Maybe it was something to do with the garlic pasta that he'd had for lunch mixing with the strawberry slush, perhaps he needed to go brush his teeth because he smelled, could there be any other possible reason? "Why? Is my breath bad?"

"Yeah, real bad. It smells like Kid Danger." (y/n) replied sarcastically, finally making the boy look down to see he was still in his signature red pants and blue tunic, complete with his utility belt. It clicked in his head what a mess he would've caused and he looked between the adults with a bashful, giggly smile, feeling slightly embarrassed that they'd caught him out on such an obvious mistake. 

"Ohhhh, yeah, nice one, nice one, (y/n/n). It's why you guys are the bosses." Henry grinned, making (y/n) roll her eyes and drag him off to the elevator with a final wave to her boyfriend, who was already taking a big, long gulp of his slushie, mirroring Henry as he threw a gumball into his mouth. The door slid shut, blocking them from their friends, meaning they were now left alone and as Henry's civilian clothes materialised around him, (y/n) couldn't help but feel another rush of affection for the boy who'd grown up under her watchful supervision.

"Oh my god, you're going to New York! I'm so proud!" She shrieked, wrapping her arms around him in a bone-crushing hug that took all the air out from his body, but he didn't have the heart to stop her, not when he knew how much she adored him. He wasn't the cute, little kid who arrived looking for a job anymore, he towered over her much like Ray did, proving that he was an adult now, but she still felt the same protective urge she always did for the boy who was like a brother to her. "Can't...breathe...."

"Sorry, but I can't wait for you to go and see Babe, it's gonna be like every rom-com I've ever watched. And I'm the orchestrator!" (y/n) grinned, pulling back and letting her arms drop back to her sides as they reached the top of the elevator shaft, half a mile up from the Man Cave. Everything had to appear normal when they went out into the shop so they didn't Piper off to anything, and like usual, (y/n)'s affection came and went in a flash, leaving her satisfied and the recipient happily perplexed as to what just happened.

"You know, I'm so glad you convinced me to go, 'cause I was thinking of...not going," Henry told her sheepishly, making her put a gentle hand on his arm, a contrast to the significant squeeze she gave him only moments before and through that simple touch, she communicated her understanding. 

Love is terrifying and no one's good at it, even those who claim to have dated by the dozen and she was one of the people who thought the mysterious sentiment wasn't for her, not when the one she loved with all of her heart seemed so distant. 

But in her experience, love was also full of surprises and if she didn't take her chance on that fateful, muffin-filled day, then she and Ray would have never admitted their feelings and who knows where they would've ended up. Sometimes you just got to do it and let your feelings speak for yourself.

"Just be yourself and make her feel special. And then tell me every detail when you get back because I want to know everything!" (y/n) exclaimed, making Henry chuckle at her enthusiasm for his love life, both of them able to hear Piper and Jasper argue as they approached the beaded curtain.

"Well, where are Henry and (y/n)?!" The girl snapped, fed up with waiting. She had a real, serious problem on her hands and she had no one else to turn to apart from her dumb brother and the nice lady he worked with, who she was sure had some experience dealing with her type of situation, considering that she had a boyfriend, who was rumoured to be thinking of proposing. How did she know that? Five words; Henry is a terrible gossip. 

"Right here." The kid announced as they stepped out from the back, ready to face whatever the girl threw at them, not that (y/n) saw it that way. She smiled upon seeing the girl, her cheeriness disregarding the foul mood she seemed to be in since she knew that Piper had received zero amounts of patience, a virtue that seemed to have gone to her brother instead, and underneath her fiery nature, she was really quite sweet once you got to know her. "It's about time!"

"Hey, Piper, nice dungarees, real cute." The woman complimented her outfit, thinking it made her look really sweet and Piper brightened a little at that, glad that she could have a conversation with someone she liked now, not just her dumb brother and his even dumber friend. Henry ordered Jasper to turn off whatever stupid sitcom he was watching, thinking that this was the time for a serious conversation, not corny jokes and a laughter track, but all the boy did was whine. 

A stern look from the woman in charge made him reluctantly hit the off button, making a mental note that he'd have to rewatch that particular episode later when there were no customers or bosses around to scold him. With quietness resuming, Henry and (y/n) turned back to Piper, who still hadn't curbed her impatience, moodily looking at her sibling with disdain.

"'Kay, what?" Henry looked at her tiredly, wishing he was back downstairs relaxing again with a soda and some snacks, but no. He was talking to his bratty sister and he had a feeling that this was gonna be a long one, especially when she started to explain why she had trekked all the way to his workplace. 

"I need you guys' help." She explained simply, looking between the two, who weren't following. This was a first and whilst (y/n) could understand why the girl would ask Henry, she couldn't see why she'd need to be in on it too.

"What?" Henry stuttered, unsure if he'd heard her correctly. She, the little sister who he swore hated him, wanted their help? With what? Why? When? How? So many questions, little time and he was certain that he was just gonna say no and go back downstairs, tugging (y/n) with him so Ray wouldn't get all pouty because the reason behind it all didn't matter. "Uhhhhhh, no."

"You don't even know what she wants us to do, give her a chance." (y/n) chastised him, judging her elbow sharply into his ribs at how he just dismissed the girl instantly. She wasn't sure if she was gonna be able to help, but she was at the least gonna hear her out and unlike Henry, give her the best advice she had since she had life experience and all that. The kid though was just gonna slope off to his slushie again, which he'd find empty, long since slurped by Ray, whose motto in life was "waste not, want not".

"(y/n), we have jobs here, okay, Piper? We're—we're working." Henry said, wiggling his eyebrows at the woman to tell her that they needed to pretend that they worked in the junk store and not as the city's greatest crimefighters, but she didn't need him to tell her that, nor did she need him to randomly touch crap around the room just to prove his point. The cymbal-banging monkey toy thing he had in his hands wasn't fooling anyone and it was just ruining the displays she'd tidied earlier that morning when she'd opened the store up with Jasper. "Put the monkey back, you're making a mess."

"Really? 'Cause every time I come here to see you, you're never in this store! So, what is it that really you do around here?" Piper interrogated her brother, a hint of suspicion and scepticism creeping into her voice as she studied her brother and how he struggled to answer, no lies coming into his brain, even when he looked at Jasper, who'd been watching from the counter. "Well...I sometimes...work in the back."

"Right, he works with me...in the garden. A lot." (y/n) jumped in, gulping at how implausible it would be to have a garden with flowers, bushes and trees in Downtown Swellview and even though she and Schwoz kept a few organic specimens in the labs, it was nothing compared to what the girl was painting in her mind. 

"There's a garden in the back?" Her voice was disbelieving, but the lie had been said, so now, Henry and (y/n) had to run with it.

"Yeah! It's—it's a rear garden and I work with (y/n) there so...rear garden." Henry stammered, paling as Piper stared at him, not saying anything, so his gaze flickered nervously to (y/n), who just shrugged since she had o idea what else to say, but luckily, Piper could let that go, she had more pressing matters to discuss with them.

"Whatever, you guys gotta help me." She reiterated, going back to her original point, making Henry deflate in relief as (y/n) circled to stand in front of the girl, giving her a neutral yet understanding face as she was open to discussing the problem. "What can we help you with, Piper?"

"Get a boyfriend!" The girl replied excitedly, a lovestruck smile spreading across her face at the thought and (y/n) could feel her own heart swell with emotion again. Two Harts needing romantic advice? Yeah, she was helping, she was so helping, it was like her dream come true, playing matchmaker for the brother and sister and watching her influence spread love. And Piper was so cute and sweet (when she wanted to be), she just knew that she could make it happen, however, Henry wasn't so convinced, he was repulsed.

"Gross." He deadpanned, shuddering at the thought of his sister dating anyone, or rather, some poor sap having to go out with Piper, just the thought of it was turning his stomach. He couldn't do that, (y/n) sure, she practically wrote the book on unrealistic but totally adorable chance meetings, a skill she'd honed watching hundreds of romcoms whilst Ray was off dating random chicks, and now, she could take his place setting up his sister.

"Hey, boyfriends aren't gross, they're magical..." The woman in question sighed dreamily, both her and Piper's minds wandering at the thought of their significant others and Henry recoiled slightly. Okay, it was bad enough when she drooled over Ray on her own, now she was doing it in some weird, hive mind lovefest with the little girl and that was too much for the kid.

"Look, Piper, I don't know how to get you a boyfriend. Talk to (y/n), she's got one, maybe she can give you some tips." He advised his sister, who just looked at him with a bored expression. Duh, that's why she'd come here where the nice lady worked; she knew all about her relationship from Henry's knack for gossiping and bits and pieces she'd found on Twitflash. She knew that the woman had scored herself a lovable idiot and was very happy, which is what she wanted for herself and why she was in the store in that very moment.

"I know, you don't know how to do anything. That's why I have it all planned out and why I need (y/n) to give me lots of boyfriend advice." Piper replied, making (y/n) pause for a second. What did she know about boyfriends? Well, it would have to be suitable for a twelve-year-old, so that's half of her relationship gone, which left all the sweet stuff and she could go on and on about that.

"Be yourself, communicate even if he's a man-child, remember that trust works both ways, make time for him as well as yourself and don't overcomplicate it because you're twelve and have a lot to learn." (y/n) listed, thinking of everything she could say without scarring the child or making her too serious about her first relationship. Everyone has to go through one heartbreak at some point and sometimes, it's best to just let someone learn the hard way, not that she wanted Piper's first boyfriend to be an absolute jerk.

"Ooooh, what's the plan?" Jasper asked, creeping up to Henry and (y/n) and leaning over their shoulders after eavesdropping on the entire conversation. He was a bit of a sucker for romance too and had sat down to watch many of (y/n)'s movies with her, so he knew how it all worked, so seeing it happening in real life was fascinating for him.

"Okay, there's this new boy at my school, right? And his name is Jackson Bartell." Piper started, her cheeks dusted with pink as she divulged the name of her crush and immediately, (y/n) could see how smitten she was and why she had put on one of her cutest outfits to meet this boy. Aw, puppy-love, she loved it.

"Oooh, great name, I bet he's real cute, right Hen?" She smiled at the boy on her right, who wasn't comfortable or happy at all. He didn't care what Piper did in her spare time, to be honest, he didn't really wanna know, and nor did he want to get involved. Going back to work sounded so good right now, even if it did involve doing some ridiculous crap for Ray or beating up bad guys. "Can we go back to our rear garden, please?"

"No, listen! Every day, after school, Jackson goes to that coffee shop on Pinehurst." Piper kept going, setting the scenes in their heads. They knew which cafe she was on about and it sort of told them what kind of a guy Jackson was; kind, cool, adorably in touch with his emotions, keen sense of right and wrong...he sounded dreamy. 

"Downtown Brown?" Jasper asked, just to be sure and Piper nodded in confirmation.

"You know, they have great Wi-Fi and hazelnut lattes. Me and Ray go a lot, it's our favourite place for mini-dates." (y/n) grinned, making Piper's heart beat faster. That's what she wanted! Hazelnut lattes and mini-dates, full dates, all the dates with Jackson and a relationship like the one the older girl had with her boyfriend. Not at an almost marriage level, ew, but the same kind of emotion that made her pulse quicken and her cheeks grow rosy. 

"I know that, he never stops talking about it," Henry said flatly, his arms crossed tightly across his chest. He had enough love mush in his life, starting with his own maybe-it-will-happen-maybe-it-won't relationship, then he had Ray blabbing in his ear all day about how pretty (y/n) is, or how smart (y/n) is, or how he can't wait to marry her, like jeez, he couldn't get a break. Those two were always snuggling and kissing and holding hands, now he had to deal with it at home? Ew.

"So, this Jackson guy, does he like you?" Jasper asked, butting in on Henry's killjoy session and that's when Piper's cheeriness faltered, just a smidge. To most people, it wouldn't have registered in their mind, but for (y/n), someone who'd spent years watching out for bad guys and learning to spot people's emotions (apart from Ray's infatuation, but that's different), she noticed the drop of her shoulders, the minuscule twitch of her eye, the falter of her smile, everything and it didn't look good.

"No, 'cause he's never met me," Piper responded promptly, not letting her disappointment show too much, even if the fact that her crush had no idea who she was did make her wince a touch. Wow, (y/n) could relate to that, your crush not liking you back and the heartache it brought, but for her, everything had turned out okay. Ray loved her, she loved him, but that didn't mean it would be the same for Piper and Jackson. Pickson. Jiper. Whatever.

"Wait, I thought he goes to your school?" Henry jumped in, suddenly more interested now that he knew about Jackson having no clue who his sister was. Honestly, it's like history was repeating itself, was he destined for a life of bringing obliviously in love people together? And he wasn't doing Project Lobster again, that ship had sailed.

"He's new! I told you that!" Piper snapped, wondering if her brother had listened to the story at all and he hadn't, not really. He'd been drowning out most of it, only focusing when someone said something to him or if his ears picked up something particularly juicy, like this kid having no idea who she was.

"Okay, okay, if Jackson doesn't know who you are, then I'm gonna need to hear the whole plan, 'cause this Cupid isn't stupid but I've got my limits, all right?" (y/n) broke up the arguing, wanting to hear what Piper had in mind since she was good, but she couldn't work miracles. All of her skills would be put to the test to bring these two crazy kids together and most of them would go on the introduction, so knowing the ins and outs of the operation would be best.

"The plan is that we create the perfect meet-cute," Piper explained and instantly, Jasper and (y/n) loved her idea. She'd done her homework, that was a genius idea; combining an intro and the falling in love bit at the same time, cutting the work down and making the relationship seem like it was weirdly meant to be, awesome. "Ohhh, yes, yes, a meet-cute!"

"Whoa, wait, wait, what is a meet-cute?" Henry asked, making the three look at him like he'd grown a second head. Did he live in the world? How could he not know? It just showed how awkwardly up flirty he was by not knowing what one of the most romantic setups was, more so than the fact that two of his exes had been stolen by the same TV show and the other was in jail because she was an actual criminal. 

"Okay, now I know that you don't pay attention to my romcoms when we watch them together." (y/n) limply slapped his shoulder, not entirely bothered by that since she had a boyfriend and she subjected him to the torture of cheesy meetings and kisses in the rain mostly, but still. All the movies they'd seen and he didn't know what one was, the shame of it all.

"You watch most of them with Ray and they're all boring. Sorry, (y/n/n) but they are." The boy responded, patting her on the back as she rolled her eyes and pretended to take his words to heart. Okay, he was a big lump of loveless mass, but she could change that, hell, if she could get Ray Manchester to stop looking at moms (mostly) then she could do anything.

"Well, I am deeply wounded by your admission, but a meet-cute is when the main guy and the main girl meet in some cute, funny way and later in the movie, they fall in love." She told him, trying to dumb it down into something so bland that he'd pick up what she was lying down and it seemed to settle in. It was just basically a lovey-dovey meeting, big deal.

"Yeah, so what I need now is a meet-cute with Jackson Bartell." Piper finished, looking at her brother since (y/n) was in all the way at this point, invested in the plot line like the boy and girl were in one of her dumb films, but Henry still wasn't sure, feeling like he'd just be dead weight. "I don't know anything about meet-cutes, so..."

"I know, that's why I need (y/n) and why I made an animatic to explain my plan." The girl smiled, dashing over to a table so she could hold her PearPad and show them the little cartoon she'd made. She sat down and the three gathered around her, feeling quite impressed when it loaded up onto the screen, showing a bunch of customers in the cafe and honestly, she could've gone pro.

"Whoa, Piper, you animated Downtown Brown. It looks really good." (y/n) smiled when she saw all the little people, recognising the background of the cosy coffee shop where her boyfriend wooed her and bought muffins for them to share. Yeah, she had a lot of good memories in that place and now, she was hoping to create some for Piper too.

"Thanks! Now, watch, see that kid sitting and doing his homework? That's Jackson." The girl told them, leaning her chin on her fist as she released the sigh that everyone crushing releases, the one when your special someone is on your mind and even cartoon Jackson made Piper's heart beat faster.

"Ha! I knew it! I knew it when I saw his name flashing!" Jasper exclaimed, nudging Henry as he and (y/n) gave him a dry stare, wondering where on earth he could've possibly gotten a hint like that. It's not like Piper was drooling at the sight of him or that he was drawn like the kinda guy most tweens would go for.

"And that's me and (y/n) coming in the door there." Piper pointed to a girl and woman walking through the front door of Downtown Brown, making (y/n) smile softly at how she'd animated her like she was some kind of subtly glamorous movie star. It looked like they were there to order a drink, not expecting anything bad to happen, and that's where Henry came in. "And Henry, that's you over there, in the corner."

"Why is my hair brown and curly?" The kid immediately asked upon seeing his character, who as he'd said, didn't look like him as he had a woolly, chocolate mop on his head that was nothing like Henry's natural, straight, blond locks. Piper looked at him, her mouth twinged into a small frown and her glaring eyes told him that she didn't appreciate his nitpicking. "Because I animated it brown and curly."

"But why?" Henry pressed, thinking that she thought his hair was ugly or something. He didn't think it was that bad and judging by how many girls loved him/Kid Danger, he guessed that others thought similarly, but not his sister, not when he was bugging her. "I guess I never really liked your hair, so I tried something new."

"Hey! Guys! Can we please focus? My soul is craving a romantic setup, come on!" (y/n) screeched, making the bickering siblings shut up and Jasper wince at her volume. They were never gonna get to the real thing if they kept arguing and if she had to shout then she would, knowing that her boyfriend was probably down in the Man Cave right now, watching and smiling at the situation she found herself in.

"I like your hair," Jasper whispered to his best friend, who didn't know whether to feel flattered or weirded-out by the compliment. He shook his head, deciding that it was a query for another day and instead, returned his focus to Piper's PearPad, where the animatic had resumed.

"See, as I walk past Jackson's table with (y/n), you come running at me like a crazy person and you yell, "Hey! Give me that phone!" And then you grab my phone right out of my hands and when you have it, I say, "Ah! That jerk just stole my phone!" At which point, Jackson will jump up and yell "Hey-hey, whoa, man!" And then, he will punch you, rescue my phone and give it back to me. And that's it, questions?" Piper turned off the video, looking up at her friend, frenemy and brother expectantly. 

The cartoon was pretty self-explanatory, from the actual plan to how much she adored this Jackson, judging by how she animated his abs, so (y/n) didn't need to ask anything. In fact, she was pretty sure she'd seen it happen somewhere before, probably in one of her romcoms.

"Yes, when did you learn how to make animatics?" Henry questioned, dazzled by the girl's skill and how fluidly the characters, love hearts and him being punched had moved, but he'd never tell her that. He was curious, nothing more and no one could prove otherwise.

"That's not the point! Will you guys help me?" Piper asked, looking at her brother and the woman stood next to him with hope gleaming in her eyes. She guessed that (y/n) would be up for it since this was kind of her thing but she needed Henry to be the asshole who jacked her phone, otherwise, she'd never have a meet-cute, would never fall in love and would have to become a cat lady for the rest of her life, like Sharona Shapen the Second. 

"Yeah, I'm game, it's not like a lot's happening in the rear garden. What'd you say, Henry?" (y/n) nodded, knowing that the Man Cave, not garden, had been pretty quiet for a couple days and it was unlikely that any big calls would come in, plus, Ray would understand. She was experiencing a rom-com in real life and lord knows that they spent too much time together anyway. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.

"Come on, even if I say yeah, how'd ya know Jackson is gonna do all that? I mean, how do you know he's gonna do anything to help you?" Henry sighed, feeling his helpful nature tug itself over to saying yes, but there was a lot of scepticism around the whole plan. They could plan Jackson's every move, he wasn't a machine, he was a person and a young boy, maybe he'd get scared by some large, aggressive teenager coming into his favourite cafe and threatening people.

"Love Maybe," Jasper replied, making (y/n) gasp as he lit the synapses in her brain and sparked her muscle memory into action. Now it all made sense, the plan, the familiarity, everything, all because she and Jasper had sat down to watch it together and it was nice to know that he'd actually watched it, not texted or scrolled through Twitflash whilst she grinned at the movie's sweetness.

"Ohhhhh, I thought I recognised the plan! See, Henry? Someone enjoys watching romantic movies with me!" She grinned at the boys, one who returned the grin since it was a pretty decent movie and he'd enjoyed crying when the characters finally kissed at the end, but the other was lost. Totally, utterly lost. "What?"

"Yes! That's Jackson's favourite movie, Love Maybe!" Piper squealed, glad that she had some love experts on her side who recognised what she was driving at. She'd memorised every scene and line just to impress her crush and hopefully, if the best bit happened in real life, he'd react like a true hero and save her. Then, they'd be in love forever and ever and ever and ever and ever...

"Such a good film..." Jasper mentioned, falling into an appreciative silence with the girls as Henry wondered what the hell they were talking about. Perhaps paying a bit more attention to those movies would've been a good idea 'cause it was like they were speaking a different language and being on the outside sucked. "Okay, wait, what am I missing here?"

"Okay, so in the movie, Love Maybe, the girl and guy meet exactly like how Piper wants to meet Jackson. Some dude tries to steal Emma Stone's phone, but Channing Tatum, who I love by the way, tackles the dude, gets Emma's phone back and they fall in love on a green boat." (y/n) explained simply, skimping on the finer details since she could go on and on about them and how much they made her squeal, but she knew that Henry wouldn't care about that and if Ray really was listening, he would hate how much she fancied some dumb celebrity. 

Come on, it's not like she'd ever meet the guy or fall in love with him instead and everyone knew how much he liked J-Law, so it was fair game - the celebrity crush game.

"But there's no boat in Piper's animatic," Henry stated, missing the point entirely as he took the movie's plot and ran with it, thinking that they were gonna have to row in a boat to make everything work. What an idiot, for someone who was supposed to be a superhero's sidekick, he was really dumb sometimes.

"Forget about the boat, okay? You let me worry about the boat!" Piper hissed, looking up from her PearPad when she heard how dumb her brother was being. Honestly, she wasn't sure how they were related, but as long as he did what he was told, they wouldn't have a problem and she'd have a boyfriend by the end of the day.

"Okay, same principle as before, the longer we stay here, the longer this will take. Can we please go and do this meet-cute?" (y/n) groaned, getting the sense that it was gonna be a very long afternoon with the siblings, who couldn't talk to other for more than half an hour without fighting over something, but at least she was doing something she enjoyed during her suffering. "NO!"

"No?" "Why no?" "That is harsh, Hen." The objections came thick and fast as soon as Henry dashed their enthusiasm with his refusal. He glared at Jasper, who didn't have anything to do with the plan really, he was just a spectator, so he returned to his seat behind the counter, but (y/n) couldn't be intimidated so easily, not by a kid who she knew so much about. She had the power to embarrass him into a puddle or beat his ass into submission if she really wanted to use it, so she just returned the sharp stare, curious as to his reasoning.

"Because! I'm—we're working—-okay, working, working. (y/n) and I gotta separate these nuts and bolts, all right?" Henry lied, fiddling with the hardware on display, which made the woman scoff at how he was trying to drag them both out of it when she had already agreed. 

First of all, nothing in the store was something anyone would want to buy since it was all just a front for protection, so separating hundreds of pieces of metal was futile and dull. And second of all, she was his boss, sort of, she still answered to Ray in a way because he was the boss, the face of the whole operation and even as his girlfriend, she still respected him in that light, but when he wasn't around, everyone looked to her for leadership, something she'd had to grow accustomed to over the years. 

"Bullshit, we're not doing that."

"I have to leave for New York tomorrow, so I don't have time for your meet-cuteing. Sorry." Okay, he had her on that one. There was very little time left for him to pack and whilst (y/n) wanted to help Piper with her first taste of romance, she couldn't allow Henry to neglect his love life, so now she was stuck in between a rock and a hard place, also known as Henry and Piper.

"Oh, come on! You can't take half an hour to help your sweet sister—" "My sweet sister? My sweet sister?—" "This is so important to me and I am sweet—" "When I was nine, you pushed me down the stairs!—" It went on and on and on, insults being thrown left right and centre, dirt dug up from a lifetime of petty bickering and the siblings weren't done yet. Their shouting merged into one long, continuous noise that made (y/n) and Jasper sigh as the woman leaned on the counter, damn sure that this was providing Ray and Charlotte with some great entertainment below.

"Oh my god! Stop arguing! Hey! You're both being ridic—okay, they're not listening..." She yelled, trying to break them apart so sense could resume, but they just screamed louder, not even listening to what each other was saying. Jasper shrugged, telling her that intervention was useless and right now, they could only hear themselves and their personal arguments, so they just needed to wait, but someone else was getting fed up with the racket too. 

Ray burst through the beaded curtain, a frown on his face as he shoved a fistful of popcorn into his face and marched over, making (y/n)'s heart flutter at the sight of him. She noticed that he'd changed out of his super suit and was now wearing an alarmingly loud, orange, fish-patterned shirt that really accentuated his muscles and gave her a peek at the grey undershirt he had on beneath it. Goddamn, where was a fan when she needed one?

"SCHRUT UPPP! NWOW, KNWOCK WIT WOFF, I MWEAN IT!" He yelled with his mouth full, having dropped some popcorn into (y/n)'s cupped hands and pressing a kiss to her cheek before he let out his bellow. Jasper slumped back in his seat, glad that the boss was here to sort them out so he could get back to doing nothing in peace and (y/n) had to fight the urge not to hug her boyfriend from behind when he shared his food, tensed his muscles and used his most authoritative voice. Hot damn. 

"Now, I don't wanna hear any more arguing in this junk store!" Ray yelled again once the kids had finally fallen silent, and they got the message, even when the popcorn filling his cheeks slurred his words a bit, causing (y/n) to giggle. She hid her smile by scoffing the few pieces he'd given her, content to just stand back and let him do all the shouting now.

"Fine." Henry nodded, knowing that Ray was the boss, the head honcho, the big dog, the chief, the gaffer, the big cheese, the whatever. He respected him enough to shut up since he knew he was right. Arguing would get them nowhere and it was just unprofessional; the last thing he wanted to do was get fired because his sister made him lose his temper.

"You're not the boss of me, even if I'm friends with your girlfriend." Piper, however, didn't respect him. Technically, she was a customer right now, a guest in his shop and he had no right to boss her around because she wasn't an employee like her brother and that fact made a smirk appear on her face, which was a mistake. 

She wasn't standing up to some idiot, well, in some ways she was but whatever, she was facing Ray Manchester, the king of petty points and twisting the facts to make them suit him. Ray turned to the cocky girl, seeing her challenge and silently accepted it, throwing down his handful of popcorn like he needed both hands to be clever.

"That's true, but I am the boss of your brother, Henry. And since you're directly related to Henry via the transit of property, ex post facto, as long as you're standing in this commercial property, vis-à-vis, I am in fact somewhat...the boss of you!" Ray ranted, using the majority of his legal knowledge to blind Piper in submission because he was a big believer in bamboozling his opponent into surrender by throwing a load of facts at them, hoping they didn't understand what he just said and luckily, Piper had been rendered baffled. "What?"

"Uh, Piper, you're creating a disturbance in my workplace," Henry told her in a strained tone, feeling rather humiliated that Ray had to scold his sister because she was causing so much fuss that he'd had to come in the elevator to tell them to shut up. He didn't even have it in him to gag when (y/n) gave in to her urge and wrapped her arms around Ray's waist, snuggled her face into his back and sighed at the feeling of his hands sliding over hers, keeping her in place.

"Oh, please! I've never seen anybody work in this place except for (y/n) and all she does is clean! Look at Jasper! Just sitting there, doing nothing but stuffing his face full of popcorn." Piper retorted in a sceptical voice and it was sort of true. Henry and Ray never really came up to the store unless it was for a reason and every time she walked past, it was usually just Jasper manning the cash register or (y/n) dusting the displays and mopping the floors. So, in some ways she was correct, but they couldn't tell her that and Jasper wasn't particularly happy that she'd ratted on him.

"Piper, go!" Henry begged the girl, wanting her gone before she got him fired or worse, discovered something round the back and she was thinking about it. Maybe she could do it with just (y/n), maybe she didn't need him after all, but then a thought came to her mind. He was in a relationship, he did love stuff, he was a reasonable guy from what she'd heard and Henry had to do whatever he told him to, so... "Hey! You're his boss."

"Dang right!" Ray agreed, turning around to smirk at Henry just so he got the message. He was in charge and he called the shots, something the kid sometimes forgot when they were out on missions. (y/n) rolled her eyes at that, knowing that he loved relishing the title and unhooked herself from his back, which made him pout slightly at the loss of her warmth, but he soon perked up again when she held his hand and leaned her head against his arm.

"Then tell him that when a guy's nice little sister needs help to make a meet-cute happen, her nice brother should say yes and do his best to make her dream come true!" Piper exclaimed, causing Henry to sigh at how dramatic she was being but to his shock, Ray didn't laugh at her childish delusions, he turned to him with a scowl on his face. "Yeah, man, what's wrong with you?"

"What?!" Henry couldn't believe that Ray, the guy who saw him as his best friend and usually agreed with nearly everything he said, was ganging up on him with his bratty sister. Yeah, he'd become a bit soft when it came to romance ever since he started dating (y/n), droning on and on about how everyone should just go for love if they felt it with someone because he'd wasted so much time pining for his girl when he could've openly loved her the entire time, but this was just a betrayal.

"She needs a favour, man, she's your family! She's your sister!" Ray argued, thinking it was cruel that his sidekick refused to help out, knowing that he was crucial to her plan and available that afternoon. It was only right that he should go to Downtown Brown and do his part, even if it meant that his sweet girl was going too, and he wasn't going to let him off lightly. "I get that, but—"

"Do you have any idea what I'd give to have my sister back? But I never will, all because of a dark, rainy Wednesday in Kansas and that terrible, awful farm accident." Ray sniffed, suddenly getting all teary-eyed and vulnerable and Henry's argument died on the spot when he was told about this sister he'd never heard about. 

Perhaps this was why he was so emotionally stunted; he had a father he never spoke to, a nonexistent mother and a tragically killed sister. Okay, now he had a lot more sympathy for the guy and his tendency to lash out and act irrationally, even though (y/n) didn't look sad, she looked confused. 

"Ray, I know literally everything about you and I know you've never had a sister." She stated, looking at him with a bored face as he let go of her hand in favour of mournfully drifting across the floor, appearing like he couldn't bear the pain of anyone giving him comfort. She knew him so much better though and didn't fall for his tricks; they'd spent too many nights whispering their secrets into the darkness and sharing their pasts with each other before drifting off to sleep. 

Even before they were together, he told her everything when she crept into his bed (like friends do that), the deal with his dad, his miserable childhood, every time he'd had his heart broken, the lot. She knew him as he knew her, so there was no fooling or tricking her.

"Oh my god, seriously?" Henry, though, was a different story. He didn't know Ray like that and in some ways, he was still enigmatic, so he thought he was telling the truth, ignoring his friend's doubting.

"No, but it happens! So maybe you should appreciate having a sister who's still here and breathing and not under a dirty tractor wheel in Kansas." Ray's mood flipped instantly, his sombre, crestfallen face returning to his normal, bouncy grin, which made (y/n) roll her eyes and Henry scoff. Okay, never mind, he couldn't excuse his issues, he had too many of them! "Okay, what planet have I landed on?" 

"You know, you've spent more time whining about why you won't help me when if you had helped me, we'd be one by now and I'd have a boyfriend named Jackson!" Piper screeched, making everyone recoil at her volume a little bit, Ray returning to his girl and pulling her into his side so she could hug his waist and drop her head against his pillow of a pec.

"Look, Piper, I wanna help you—" Henry started, trying to remain calm and collected, but Ray was still Ray and still felt that he should help out, dead, fake sister or not. "You're gonna help her."

"I can't, I have to pack for New York! (y/n), tell him!—" "That's an order!" Ray didn't care about any excuses or reasons not to help, even when his sweet girl was brought into the matter and she opened her mouth to say something. He just snapped his fingers and plunged Henry into silence, playing his boss card again to make him do as he was told. 

Needing support, Henry looked to (y/n) first, knowing that she could sway her boyfriend into listening to reason, but the man just squeezed her tighter and pressed her head into her chest so her voice would be muffled, carrying it off like he just wanted to rock her from side to side. Okay, next best person, who wasn't all that great, but still, it was Jasper.

"I'm on my lunch break, man." The boy stated, shrugging off Henry's desperate gaze/silent cry for help. What a fat load of good he was, utterly useless when he needed him and with orders coming from all sides, Henry saw only one option; if you can't beat them, join them. "Piper, (y/n), come on, let's go."

"Oh, yay! This is gonna be so great!" The girl squealed, skipping after her brother happily as he plodded through the door, passing his boss, who was smiling at how he was behaving now and going to help his sister find a boyfriend. 

"Yeah, so great. Ray, put (y/n) down so we can get this over with." He called over his shoulder, knowing that the woman who jog down the street after them and catch up as he was in no mood to walk fast.

"Okay, I'll see you later, doofus. Promise you won't miss me too much?" (y/n) smirked at her boyfriend as she wriggled in his hold, loosening his arms just enough for them to settle on her hips as he wrinkled his nose in dislike. He never liked seeing her go, but he was a big boy, he could deal with it and this was important, both to her and Piper, so he wouldn't complain this time.

"I always miss you, sweet girl. Just stay safe, 'kay? I love you." Ray whispered back, bringing his hands up to cup her face and stroked over her cheekbones tenderly as he leaned in for a lingering, goodbye kiss. She melted into him, sliding her fingers up his chest and into his hair as their lips moved together in perfect synchronisation. Jasper averted his eyes, feeling a little awkward when Ray groaned a little bit and tried to angle his head so his tongue could explore deeper, thinking that maybe (y/n) could stay and leave the Harts to their adventure, but luckily for Jasper, she pulled back before he could change her mind.

"I love you too, handsome. Don't get all pouty when I'm gone, all right?" (y/n) giggled as he did just that when she pulled away and grabbed her purse and jacket from a display, leaving him standing there with a honey taste on his lips and a desire smouldering in his belly. She blew him a kiss as she opened the door, blushing when he moodily "caught" it and brought it to his chest, exactly where his heart lay under his rib cage. Okay, that made Jasper grin and he waved her off as she walked through the door, leaving the two alone as she ran after the kids halfway down the street. Yeah, he was definitely gonna get all pouty without her.

~Downtown Brown~

Henry led his friend and sister into the coffee shop, still pretty grumpy as they chatted excitedly about how it was gonna go. They were gossiping about boys, gross stuff, makeup, gross stuff, how cute Jackson is, gross stuff, how cute Ray is, oh, and gross stuff. 

"There! He's over there! See him? The cute boy in the blue jacket?" Piper said quietly as they stood in the doorway, the smell of coffee and baked goods tickling their noses, and they couldn't miss the kid as he sat at a table on his own, doing some homework and sipping a drink. Well, he was a sweet-looking boy, probably dreamy if you're a tween girl, but (y/n) and Henry couldn't say they were interested in that way, though the former saw the attraction.

"We see him, cute boy in a blue jacket, sat over there." The woman nodded, watching as the kid scribbled something down and Piper practically swooned, gazing up at her and Henry with the same pining in her eyes that Henry had witnessed for the first three years of his time in the Man Cave. "Isn't he cute?"

"I have no opinion on that." Henry deadpanned, thinking that the kid was just a kid. There was one person he thought was cute and she lived in New York, and he was supposed to be fucking packing to go and see her.

"Well, trust me, he's super cute." Piper grinned, confirming what he had no clue about and Henry just went along with it. He nodded and agreed and did what she needed him to then he could go home and sort of his travel plans; everything was just easier that way. "All right, cool. Okay, boy, blue jacket, super cute, now can we please get this over with?"

"Okay, hold on wait, I'm giving you a disguise!" His sister told him when he leaned back in surprise as she pressed a fake goatee to his jaw and chin. His mind couldn't put two and two together, not when he already hated everything they were up to, so the rather ingenious reason for the goatee went over his head. "Hold still and be quiet."

"What? Why's this necessary?" Henry spluttered, his head jerkily pulled to Piper's direction as she worked on masking his identity and (y/n) chuckled at the pure confusion on his face and how he was just going along with everything his sister did to him.

"Don't you think that Jackson will be confused when Piper takes him home as her boyfriend and he learns that her own brother tried to jack her phone?" She looked at him with raised eyebrows, watching as the realisation hit him and he saw how bad it would be for him to "attack" Piper with his face showing. "Wha-oh—what—okay, that makes sense."

"We good?" He asked once he had a moustache on his upper lip to complete his image of fake manliness, but Piper wasn't done yet. "No, bend down." She ordered him, grabbing a scarf from her bag since he still looked exactly the same with the facial hair. They needed to fully cover him up so Jackson wouldn't be able to recognise him further down the line when she became his girlfriend, something that was definitely gonna happen, she was sure.

"What? Why do I have to—?" Henry asked again when he saw the dark material in her hands and his brain still wasn't functioning properly. He was a sidekick, he should've been an expert at disguises, but clearly, he hadn't been paying attention to that either. "'Cause I said bend down!"

"Nice look, Hen. You suit a goatee, seriously." (y/n) bit her lip to smother her laughter as his head came back up with the bandana tied around it, which hid his blond hair and made him unrecognisable, sort of. He wouldn't be noticed in a scuffle, that was the important thing, but the nerves were starting to kick up in his tummy. "Yeah, I don't know about this."

"Do you remember the animatic?" Piper questioned, knowing that if he was in doubt, all he had to do was remember her foolproof plan. She'd literally drawn it out so he could understand it properly, what more did he want? "Yeah, how'd you make that?"

"Ugh, she can tell you later. Just go hide and get ready whilst I order a hazelnut latte. Go!" (y/n) told him, feeling antsy to get started when she saw Jackson on the phone, meaning that this was the perfect opportunity. Henry crouched next to a couch, using a cushion to cover his face as if it could distract people from his presence and Piper got her phone out for the attempted robbery. (y/n) also prepared herself, checking that her wallet was in her purse for the drink and muffin she was inevitably gonna buy since she could never resist this cafe's stuff. On her cue, she escorted Piper across the room, acting like a bored older sister as she strolled up to the counter with the girl pretending to talk on her PearPhone. 

"No way, your mom got a new car?! Does it have a sunroof? It does?! Oh my god, when you open it, can you see the sky? You can!" She prattled on, acting as though she was having a bubbly, intriguing conversation with a friend, but if anyone truly paid attention to what she was saying, they'd realise that no one can get that hyped about a new car, especially not a twelve-year-old girl, but that's when Henry came in.

"Hey! Give me your phone!" He bellowed in his best evil voice as he ran over to her and snatched at her cell, both of them pretending to tug it to and fro like she was trying to hold on and he was trying to steal it away. People around the room gasped as they watched the child struggle against a bully, (y/n) turning around in the cue and holding onto Piper's waist so it looked like she was trying to help but not hindering Henry or the plan. "Leave her alone, you asshole!"

"Hey! Help! That jerk just stole my phone!" Piper cried out, prompting Jackson to stand up just like Channing Tatum and he puffed out his chest so he could stand up to the tall guy and everything was going perfectly. He even said the right line... "Whoa, hey man, give her back her phone—"

"WHAT THE BUTT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" This was not part of the plan. (y/n) instantly tugged Piper back in mild fear and shock when a very large, very manly and very intimidating lady jumped out of her seat and shoved Jackson out of the way. Clearly, she wasn't one for injustice either, grabbing Henry by his shirt collar and yanking him up to her sneering face, basically taking Jackson's place in the plan as she threw Henry across the room, causing him to collide with a table. Ouch, he was gonna be feeling that for a while. The cute boy awkwardly sat back down as Piper and (y/n) stood frozen and the diners screamed at the scene, but the lady had turned nice and smiled when she returned the "stolen" phone. "Here's your phone, kid."

"Great, thanks so much," Piper replied quietly, feeling her heart plummeting as Jackson ignored her existence, Henry groaned and whimpered on the floor and (y/n) heard the barista call her name. The girl wandered over to her brother as the woman momentarily dashed over to grab her latte, feeling bad for the beaten kid, but there was no way she was gonna leave it after paying for it. 

"This was not covered in the animatic," Henry muttered as he struggled to get up, some waiter coming over to see if he was okay and he wasn't. Everything hurt, everything ached, he was pretty sure that he had splinters jabbing into his side, but now he knew one thing; never agree to help Piper find a boyfriend. The pain isn't worth it.

~Junk-N-Stuff~

Back at the store, Jasper, Ray and now Charlotte were sitting at the counter, watching Jasper's dumb show. The teen girl had grown tired of sitting downstairs by herself and had gone to them for a few laughs, which the mildly entertaining sitcom provided, but everything was about to get moody. Piper had returned and she was on the warpath.

The girl stormed into the store, her feet thudding with each step as the door slammed onto (y/n)'s arm as she helped Henry limp home, but the bruises weren't anything for her to worry about. It was the kid with his arm around her shoulders she needed to take care of, he was in some serious pain and the girl's anger wasn't helping, even if it wasn't directed at her per se, just Henry, the one who'd gotten the wrong person to attack him.

"Uh, you wanna help us?" The boy asked his sister as (y/n) struggled to keep the door open and get him through it with a coffee in one hand, but Piper wasn't in the mood for being nice, not for him. Yeah, the woman had done her part, but she was pissed and didn't care about their friendship at that moment, particularly since she was helping her stupid brother. "Why? Did you help me? No, you ruined my meet-cute!"

"Hey, handsome, you pout much without me?" (y/n) smiled at her boyfriend once Henry had limped through the door and removed himself from her side, allowing her to run over to her boyfriend and pull him into a warm embrace, so damn glad that the whole thing was over. 

His arms swiftly curled around her back, mindful that she had a coffee cup in one hand, no doubt from the cafe where he adored taking her on dates, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head before she pulled away, wondering where everything had gone wrong with the kids. They had the cheesy romance master with them and a perfect plan, but Piper said it hadn't worked, so what gives?

"Oh my gosh, Henry. What happened?"  "Henry, you okay?" Jasper and Charlotte gasped when they saw how their friend winced with each step and slumped without the support of the young woman aiding him to walk. It was worrying to see a kid so hurt when he was used to taking a beating from the scum of the city, so they and Ray immediately frowned as he stiffly hopped down the steps like if he bent his knee, it would shatter.

"No! I'm not!" He replied sharply, feeling like he had a broken pelvis, femur and a collapsed lung as everything from the neck down ached, but (y/n) had promised him that he was fine, just quite badly bruised. He'd taken worse before, but that didn't make it feel any better and just put him in a fouler mood when he thought about how none of this would've happened if he had just stayed at work.

"All right, tell us what went down," Ray told him as he and (y/n) wandered over, the young woman offering her latte to him so he could take a sip, a peace offering after stealing half of his slushie only a couple hours prior. The cup hit his lips and so did the ridiculously sweet taste of the milky coffee, which wasn't his favourite flavour, but just knowing that it was her way of showing him her affection made it the best taste he'd ever experienced. Well, nearly.

"Oh, I bought you a muffin! Red Velvet, your favourite." The woman butted in before Henry could retell the unfortunate tale and she pulled a brown paper sack from her purse that held the baked treat and Ray's heart almost burst from the tidal wave of love and joy that enveloped him. The simple gesture just screamed so many things; she had thought about him when she didn't have to, she cared enough to remember his favourite, she'd gotten the waitress to write his name followed by a little heart on the bag and the smile on her face when she handed it over, it told him that she found happiness in giving it to him like he did in receiving it. 

"Precious girl." He mumbled, gently accepting the muffin bag from her like it was the most delicate and exquisite gift anyone had ever given to him, not a two dollar cake from down the street, but it meant everything to him. (y/n) giggled as he brought her into another hug, this one lingering for longer since he had no intentions of letting go and Charlotte and Jasper smiled warmly at the sight of the woman happily snuggling into his chest and him relaxing fully. Henry and Piper would've cooed at the couple too, anyone would've, but they were too blinded by their anger to care and merely held their glares as Ray and (y/n) kept listening through the embrace.

"Oh, I'll tell you what went down. My body. Down. Through a table. Onto the floor!" Henry brought them back to the original point, spitting out each bit of the sentence like they were hard to get out, either from his rage or the pain he was in, but Ray didn't care about two grumpy teenagers. He could deal with those easily, after all, he had a special muffin from his sweet girl.

"What's this green stuff?" He asked when he saw a streak of green mush in Henry's hair and plucked a chunk of it out so he could check the consistency and smell with his fingers. It was sticky, thick and was slightly acidic, the smell hitting (y/n)'s nose as he held the mush close to her face and inspected it and she knew what it was.

"Probably avocado for toast. They serve it at Downtown Brown." She mumbled against his chest, burying his nose further into his shirt so she could smell his cologne and not some musty, old avocado from the floor and upon hearing her response, Ray flicked the mush from his fingers, feeling grossed out that his sidekick was covered in food and dirt.

"So, Piper's animatic didn't work in real life," Jasper stated, folding his arms as he put the situation together in his head and he too wondered where they'd gone wrong. It was so simple and yet they had managed to screw it up, maybe copying romance films wasn't such a good idea after all.

"It would've worked if Henry had done his part right!" Piper snapped, staring accusingly at her brother who wasn't about to take that kind of insult lying down. He had done his absolute best but apparently, that wasn't good enough for her and neither the fact that his body was now bruised and broken, all thanks to her and her stupid plan. Honestly, the nerves of some tweens...

"Well, what was I supposed to do?! I ran across the room, I grabbed your phone, I said my line! Before Jackson could run in, some powerful woman grabbed me and hurled me across the room! Jeez!" Henry yelled, a splash of emotion creeping into his voice as he relived the encounter and rubbed at his sore back, making his friends ponder why he'd let that happen. He was a superhero, he could take on one woman, right? At least, that's what Charlotte was thinking. "Well, why'd you let her throw you across the room?"

"She didn't offer me another option, Charlotte," Henry said slowly and robotically, not believing that one who was supposed to be so smart could also be so dumb. Yeah, that's what happened; he'd actually asked the scary lady to nearly kill him for stealing from his sister, he enjoyed it. What a load of shit...

"Whatever, get cleaned up so we can go back to Downtown Brown and try again," Piper told him, knowing in her heart that they couldn't just leave it there. That specific meet-cute was history, it would be weird to do another phone robbery sitch without attracting any suspicion, but she wanted Jackson in her life so badly, she was willing to show her face in the cafe again to get him to ask her out.

"Are you insane? I'm not trying again." Henry groaned, shuffling over to the loveseat couch in the window of the store so he could sit down and rest his aching limbs. The thought of being hurled again was also as painful as experiencing it and he knew that if that woman saw him again then it would be like suicide, so he was gonna sit this one out, otherwise, he'd die. "We have to try again!"

"I dough-not, I dough-not!" Henry whined, getting his vowels sounds all wrong since all he could think about was how much his legs and butt hurt after the "incident", but didn't care. Charlotte did, though. "You said dough."

"I meant do! Everybody here knows I meant do!" He snapped back, slumping grumpily as (y/n) pulled back from Ray, feeling as though she'd hugged him long enough and whilst he smell and felt great all around her, conversations worked best when she could look at her friends, especially when he boyfriend was mulling something over and she had at least one gulp of coffee still left.

"I have a question," Ray stated, raising the hand that had left his girl's skin whilst the other held his muffin, his girl downing her now lukewarm drink before it could get any colder and she licked its sweetness from her lips, making the man wish that his mind wasn't so filthy. She stayed close to him, chucking the empty cup over to Jasper so he could toss it in the trash can by his feet as she listened to this question. "Why's it so important for you to have this meet-cute?"

"Huh?" Piper's eyebrows furrowed at the question. Okay, he was never interested in her, he was just her brother's weird boss and (y/n)'s adorkable boyfriend, but that was the key factor in his sudden interest. He was in love, he knew about dating and asking people out, sort of, so he figured that she could use some of his excellent advice once he knew what the hell was happening. "Why can't you just go over to Downtown Brown, walk up to this, uh—this boy you like—"

"Jackson Bartell," Piper told him, wondering where the hell he was going with this and (y/n) was curious too. Okay, they admitted it, they were both terrible at love; he dated hundreds to stop his heart from feeling lonely and she drowned her sorrows in false relationships made by Hollywood, and all the while, they were standing right in front of each other, waiting for love to look their way. The fact that he was trying to give advice was mildly amusing to her yet heartwarming at the same time.

"Okay, him. And just say, "Hi, Jackson. My name is uh—" He snapped his fingers, looking at the girl's face to try and rendered her name even though they'd met plenty of times and she'd been mentioned by Henry too. He wasn't very good with names, mainly when they belonged to brats or people he didn't really care about. 

"Piper..." (y/n) coughed, trying to cover up his forgetfulness by helping him out, not that it worked. The kid was still offended but quickly forgot about it when Ray moved on with his advice, his belief that the old ways are the best etched into every word.

"Piper! My name is Piper and I really like you, so what do you think of that?" He finished, making the group, including his own dear girlfriend look at him weirdly. On the face of it, it seemed pretty straightforward, smart even, but then when you thought about how bold and nerve-wracking it was to just walk up to your crush and confess, it seemed reckless. Had he forgotten about his own experience with love and how long it took him?

"Oh, Ray, come on!" Charlotte exclaimed, finding it amusing that he was so sure of him and his plan when she knew all too well that he had never followed the advice himself, not even a little bit.

"That would never work in the real world, except maybe for old people," Piper added, not realising that she'd just said the no-no word in front of a man very touchy about his age and she'd done it whilst looking right at him. Well, it was her funeral.

"I'm not old!" Ray snapped, his hands on his hips as his eyes glanced at his girlfriend, seeing how she smiled and giggled at their interaction, which eased his worry a little bit but not by much. 

He hated his age, and not just because it meant that his youth was slipping away, but because every moment that he lost was another moment when he could've been married, could've had children, could've spent so much more time with the love of his life if he had just been brave with her from the beginning. 

He'd spent ten years focusing on his fear of rejection or the terror that they'd break up and he'd lose her, so he'd lost a lot of time with her, time where he could've loved her like he wanted to and not sat on the sidelines as a friend. He didn't want that for anyone else, not when he knew how much it sucked.

"Oh, please! What are you, like, thirty?" Piper suggested, not seeing his inner flash of pain and the memories of regret he kept locked away from bubbling to the surface or how it wasn't much of an insult to Ray. He was thirty-six, so knocking six years off his age was more a compliment than anything else and it didn't do much for her argument. 

"No! I'm not—yeah, yeah, I'm, uh, I'm like thirty." He bragged, accepting the age since it was lower than his real one and (y/n) rolled her eyes at how he was so tetchy about it. Getting old happened to everyone and she'd never truly understand how much it bothered him, not when he kept his real reasoning as a secret never to be told. She was younger and so beautiful, was it really so wrong to mourn all of those lost opportunities? 

"Whatever, just tell Henry that he has to help me and I need you and your girlfriend to help me think of a new meet-cute plan," Piper told Ray hurriedly, not caring about his real age or whether she insulted him or not. Jackson wasn't going to sit in the coffee shop forever and they were losing precious seconds, so they needed to think before she lost her only chance at happiness.

"No!" Henry protested, having had more than enough of her so-called happiness and all the pain it brought to others. He was quite content to just sit quietly and do nothing, but Piper needed action and good ideas, not her brother's grumpy refusals. "Yes!"

"Look, Paper! I know you're, like, seven and you think you know everything..." Ray started, not phased one little bit by the girl's attitude problem and had no problem taking her down a notch or two, even if she was on good terms with his girlfriend, who could practically feel the tension between them.

"Okay, Ray, her name's Piper and she's twelve, 'kay?" She reminded him carefully, letting her palm rest flat against his bicep to remind him to keep a lid on his temper and for her, he could do that. He could anything, no matter how much this brat tested his patience. 

"Be that as it may, I'm gonna show you that young love can begin with something as simple as a good, old-fashioned nice to meet ya, how do you do?" He told her. Look, just because that's not how he did it, didn't mean that it wouldn't work for someone else and Henry liked his plan. He liked it a lot. It didn't involve him or any disguises and certainly no scary ladies who could snap him in two, so he thought she should listen to his boss. "Yeah, try that!"

"Uh, one small problem. Ray, it took you ten years just to tell me you love me and even then you had to be tricked into saying it! And you were absolutely terrified, don't deny it!" (y/n) argued, airing on the side of caution since she knew all about him and his big ideas for confessing, none of which had worked into two teens stepped in. What made him think that he could master a meet-cute between two strangers when he could barely do it himself with the woman he'd known forever?

"Yeah, I was terrified because you said "Oh..." after I told you that I'm in love with you!" He replied instantly, his voice incredulous rather than biting, like this was playful banter that always came up between them and it sort of always did. 

The Man Cave team had so many fond memories of that moment, although the one that stood out the most was when (y/n), in her pure shock, just said the first thing that came to mind, unable to find her tongue and make it say the three words back. Everyone remembered how Ray went pale and nearly fainted, him fearing the worst whilst she was shaking from joy and the couple never lived it down, their friends didn't let them.

"The man of my dreams had just confessed to me, how else was I supposed to react? And anyway, I said it back, like, three seconds later before you had a heart attack, silly doofus," She grinned, unable to stop it when she remembered the moment when he pulled her into the warmest hug she'd ever felt and oh god, the kiss, it wasn't even their first but it felt like it and that was good enough for them. No boundaries, no holding back, and that's how they'd been ever since. 

"Yeah and I'm so glad you did, sweet girl. Now, let's show Plopper that she and this boy can go out by just talking to each other. Come on, let's go." He smiled down at his girl and took her by the hand as she gave him a quick kiss from yet another rush of affection, one triggered by the memory of the best moment of her life. He went to lead her out of the store and gestured for Piper to follow them, but the kid didn't want to go without a plan, as the crap he'd come up with wasn't a plan, it was stupid and not only that, he was stealing her head planner by turning her into a mushy, dopey idiot who couldn't stop smiling.

"No! I'm not going until (y/n) comes up with another meet-cute plan and then, I have to make an animatic of it!" Piper exclaimed, gesturing to the woman who was practically glued to her boyfriend's side, her eyes sparkling with love for him. That's what she wanted, why couldn't she set her up to find someone like that? Surely, she must've had some good ideas when she had it in real life and studied it during her free time, she was the wingwoman!

"When did you learn how to make animatics?!" Henry exclaimed, his question still not answered and he was desperate to find out. Piper had talent and he wanted to know why not that she was in the mood to explain it to him.

"That's not the point! Look, we're going to do this my way, so that I—" Piper started, looking around the room from Charlotte to Jasper to (y/n), her voice returning to a calmer level, but Ray was bored of all the talking and he wanted a prove a point, so he decided to end the girl's babbling there and then. He took out his controller and zapped Piper with a green laser, making her collapse woozily as unconsciousness overcame her.

"Ray! What?! Why?! Huh?" (y/n) gasped as she dropped his hand and stepped back in shock as he grabbed the girl's arm and slung her over his shoulder in a fireman's lift, smirking at his girl's open mouth, but she still grabbed her purse again so she could follow him out of the store. His muffin was left on the counter, where no one would touch it until he came back, they wouldn't even look at it, because if they did, he'd kill them for taking what was his present from his girlfriend. It would be the gravest of errors and it would take a lot to calm him down.

"All right, I'm gonna carry her over to Downtown Brown. Come on, sweet girl, I'll buy you a blueberry muffin, your favourite." Ray told the teens before turning to (y/n), who was all ready to go, smiling softly at how he knew her favourite too. He wanted to return the gesture and since they were heading back to the cafe, he saw no reason why they couldn't prove his point and have a mini-date at the same time.

"Good, take your time. Have fun with your girlfriend." Henry called after them, glad that his sister and all the problems and pain that came with her were being carried away, literally. Now, he could relax in peace and let his body heal for a few hours, something he'd been wanting to do all day. Why couldn't Ray solve Piper's problems all the time?

~Downtown Brown~

"We look like kidnappers!" (y/n) hissed to her boyfriend as they stepped through the door of Downtown Brown and yet another person stared at them weirdly when they noticed how some huge, hulking man, accompanied by a nervously smiling woman, had a child slung over his shoulder, almost like he was taking her off to his human abattoirs. 

"It's fine, in you go," Ray replied as he held the door open for her to enter first like a true gentleman, even though it was harder for him with Piper on his back and judging by her wriggling and twitching, she was starting to wake up. Here came his excuses and they needed to be good ones. "Wha—what's going on?!"

"Ah, look who's waking up." The man grinned when he heard her mumbling and (y/n) bit her lip in worry when he placed the girl back on her feet, thinking that the laser's effects had worn off completely. However, she was still dizzy and incredibly wobbly on her feet, so the minute he let her go to stand on her own, Piper collapsed onto the floor, falling over the platformed entrance and onto the lower floor, which made the woman watching cringe at how she flopped around like a limp noodle.

"Oh my god, Piper, are you all right?" She asked instantly, bending down to help the girl up from the floor, both of them vaguely aware that everyone had their eyes looking in their direction, but (y/n) ignored them, remembering that the tween had just taken a nasty fall. She patted down her arms and Piper quickly found her feet, so she was satisfied that nothing was broken, but her brain was still fuzzy and she blinked at her surroundings in shock as Ray tried to help too so he didn't look heartless in front of the other customers.

"How did I get back here?" Piper asked the woman, wondering why she was shining her phone torch in her eyes, but she had her reasons, mainly that she didn't want the girl to meet her boyfriend with a concussion. Honestly, (y/n) didn't have an explanation for how they'd gotten there, all of her answers involved mentioning the laser and that would open another can of worms, so she left the talking to Ray, which was interesting.

"Look, life's not about how we get places, it's about what happens at those places after we've gotten there...here," Ray answered, hoping that if he sounded philosophically brilliant, her fuzzy mind would get all confused and forget her original question, preferring to focus on his plan. Luckily for him, that's what happened; Piper was way too perplexed to pick up any of the sentiment and flowery imagery he was laying down, so she just stared at him blankly, wondering if he had always had four eyes and two noses. "Huh?"

"So, where's this allegedly cute boy you wanna meet so bad?" Ray moved the conversation on, that way he wouldn't have to explain anything and the mention of Jackson was enough for Piper's heart to take the reigns and make her brain switch focuses. She remembered why they were there and quickly scanned the cafe for his signature blue jacket, her heart sinking a little when she didn't see him at first. For a second, she thought that he'd gone home after the trouble from Henry and she could feel the tears spring up in her eyes, but then, nestled into a corner, she spotted him, still scribbling away at his homework. "Oh, um, he's right over there in the cool, blue jacket."

"Okay, so I'm gonna go order (y/n) a hazelnut latte with extra whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles and a blueberry muffin and I want you to walk right over to that boy and say, hi, my name is Paper Hart and I would like to introduce myself to you so that we can be—" Ray started, feeling his girl link arms with him when he recalled her exact order without missing a beat. A smile ghosted over her face at how he still hadn't learnt the girl's name, thinking he really was the most adorable man she'd ever met and she would've gladly smiled over him all afternoon if she could, but no, the universe never let her do that. Midway through Ray's instructions, he, (y/n) and Piper were scared out of their wits when a woman jumped up from her seat and screamed, pointing at something big, black and deadly that had scared her as it crawled around the wall. "There's a big bug on the coffee bean display!"

"Oh my god, it's a scorpion!" Another guy shrieked and everyone sat near the arachnid ditched their lunch, coffee, tea and pastries so they could scramble towards the door, terrified of being stung or crawled on by the creature, which had probably been disturbed after Captain Man and Kid Danger hosed down its nest in the park across the street. 

"Okay, okay, everyone, let's just calm down. Only one per cent of scorpion species have deadly stings, so it's highly unlikely that anyone will die. If we just stay away from it, we'll be fin—" (y/n) tried to calm the panicking crowd down, knowing that the bug was happy to just explore the display since no one was threatening it. All they had to do was just wait until animal control or a similar authority came and took it away, but no, Ray, being the show off he was, decided that he would be the hero of the hour, forgoing any of his girl's sound advice.

"You know, I used to be a better than average tennis player back in my day. You mind?" He announced and looked to his right where a man with some tennis balls and a racket was standing. Oh no, he was going to, was he? (y/n) looked at him with wide eyes and clutched his arm as she realised that he was gonna try and squish the scorpion by blasting a ball at it. His aim was terrible, the creature didn't deserve to be killed and he was just doing it to seem all macho and cool, not realising that it was reckless overkill. "All right, Mr Scorpion, don't take this personally, but game, set and—"

"Ray, no, don't do it, think about what will happ—" (y/n) exclaimed, predicting the chaos that would ensure from him bouncing balls all over the place and he was a heavy hitter; those muscles packed a punched and could fire tennis balls like they were coming from a cannon, but he had already swung and was too late. "SMASH!"

"What was that?" Jackson asked as the ball whizzed over her head and pinged off the display, knocking the scorpion off in the process, so it was a success, but the forceful impact was too much for the rickety, old display and it collapsed when the nails that screwed it to the wall loosened. Poor Jackson was the unfortunate soul who'd picked the seat beneath it and took the full brunt when it fell on his head, which caused Piper to scream as her crush was knocked out. Not Ray's finest moment and he gulped when the boy groaned on the floor and he saw everyone cringing and wincing, not to mention his girl shaking her head at him with her hands on her hips.

"Jackson! Quick! Somebody call an ambulance!" Piper screeched when she saw that no one was moving to help the boy and upon her shout, the bystanders sprung into action, pulling out their cells as the waiters and baristas went to pull their stock from his broken body. 

"Why don't you get a better tennis racket, guy?!" Ray snapped at the man who'd given him the suspect weapon and rapidly returned it before anyone started pointing fingers, even though everyone had witnessed his stupidity. He looked at (y/n), pretending to be her loveable idiot like usual but she just tutted and shook her head with a sigh whilst she comforted Piper, half-ignoring the hands that ran across her hips and shoulders in a bid to get her attention. He got the scorpion, he did something impressive, yeah, a boy was now unconscious, but he did it to impress her...

Moments later, the ambulance had arrived and the paramedics burst into the building with their bags and needles and shit as Ray, (y/n) and Piper continued to watch mournfully, the girl on the verge of tears as the lead medic started barking orders on how they were gonna tackle the incident. Another turned to them, thinking that their keen interest meant that they'd witnessed the accident and that they could tell her something important. "You guys see what happened?"

"Yeah, there was a big scorpion—" Piper began, not caring that snitches get stitches or anything, she didn't see anything wrong with telling the paramedic what had happened, but Ray didn't want her to say anything that was remotely near the truth because it would come out that he was the asshole who hurt a kid, so he quickly stepped in front of her.

"Uh, I'm the adult. So, apparently—" He started too, before being pulled back by his girlfriend, who had enough of his bright ideas for one day. She could handle this.

"Uh-huh, okay, I'm the real adult here and as my slightly idiotic but very loveable boyfriend was saying, apparently, that poorly constructed display just fell off the wall, for no apparent reason whatsoever. We didn't even see it really, no one can prove anything, 'cause it was just an accident, so have a nice day..." (y/n) chuckled nervously, using her winning smile to charm the woman into nodding and agreeing with whatever she was writing down and thankfully, she believed every lie she said, walking off when she turned away to pull Ray from the scene. That was a close one, but no one was more hurt than Piper, whose miserable face broke both of their hearts as they knew that this was the worst thing that could've happened. 

"Listen, Popper. I know you're sad and I'm sorry that you didn't get to have the meet-cute that you wanted..." Ray sighed, giving the girl the most remorseful face and kindest words he had because he knew that this was his fault. Sure, he got her name wrong and it ruined the emotion a bit, but it was nice for her to hear that he was sorry and she looked up to see if (y/n) had some soft words to comfort her with too because she really needed her support at that moment. But to her and Ray's surprise, she had nothing, she wasn't even paying attention, something that wasn't like her, not when someone was upset and looking for succour and Piper frowned when she looked around the room and not at her.

"Hey, (y/n), what's wrong?" She asked, tugging at her jacket's sleeve when she stared at the paramedic's tending to Jackson and ducking in and out of the room. What gives? Was something wrong with the way they were treating her soon-to-be boyfriend? Had they missed something? Ray gazed at her too, worried that she was angry or upset with him for his actions and choosing to ignore him, but she wasn't, she was thinking and using that big brain of hers. 

"Hey, do you think that paramedic lady is the same height as Piper?" She asked her boyfriend, subtly gesturing to a woman, who was taking statements and Ray turned to briefly study her and the girl stood with them. Okay, their body proportions weren't identical, but they were roughly the same size and he wondered what she was up to, recognising that the cogs in her mind were turning. "Yeah, so?"

"So, Piper, I've come up with another meet-cute." She grinned, turning to the girl so she could grab her by the arm and lead her so she was looking at the right paramedic. Piper felt her excitement grow in tandem with her confusion and bit her lip as the three of them stared at the unsuspecting woman and Ray's warm hands settled on her shoulders, him grinning when he sensed her mischief.

"Okay, so, you're gonna take that paramedic over to that cupboard, the one that has the private sign on it and you're gonna "borrow" her uniform. Then, you can sneak onto the ambulance and be there when Jackson wakes up, just like Scarlett Johansson in Breakfast at Brittany's." She grinned, chuckling at the immortality of it all and how it was totally unlike her, but either way, it was kinda ingenious. Piper must've seen the movie too and how Scarlett and Ryan Reynolds fall in love because she gasped and turned around at the speed of light, hugging her waist tightly as she bounced up and down.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! It's perfect!" She squealed into the fabric of her dress before pulling back and storming over to the woman immediately, saying nothing else since she couldn't/wouldn't waste any more time, not when Jackson was being prepped for a stretcher. With her bravely walking over to the paramedic, Ray took the opportunity to curl his arms around the matchmaker's waist and pull her back into his chest, allowing her to bask in her own love and not just that of others. 

"Uh, 'scuse me, can I show you something behind that door over there?" "Uh, yeah. Okay," The couple giggled when they saw Piper sneakily dupe the woman into following her and how she wiggled her fingers at them as she closed the door, locking out the world as she fought for the uniform. They could hear the ruckus through the wood, the woman's protests and screams and Piper's determined snarls to win her prize; she'd lost one meet-cute, she wasn't about to lose another and (y/n) felt at peace as she felt the plan fall into place and Ray's lips press against her pulse point.

"You're so bad, I love it." He mumbled against her skin, kissing up her neck since everyone else was either returning to their food or helping with the rescue, which left them to stand to the side and let the victory sink in. And he could smother her with his love and affection, so it was a win-win all round, especially after the whole tennis debacle and how it was his fault because he ignored her warnings.

"I prefer being sweet." She replied quietly, unable to stop the smirk that wormed its way onto her face and it widened when he smiled against her neck too. He couldn't argue with that, she was his sweet girl and he wouldn't have it any other way, not when she was sweet for him in every sense of the word and in every way she could be. He fell in love with her sweetness, her kindness, her shyness, her uniqueness, her silly sense of humour, her quirks and funny rituals, her everything, and he never wanted her to change, she didn't have to. Her cheeky side was a bonus though, something that could keep him on his toes.

"I love that even more. I love you." He whispered, causing her to turn around his arms and melt against him, tears stinging her eyelashes at how far they'd come; from strangers to coworkers, from best friends, terrified of saying anything, to lovers, unafraid of revealing their true feelings, uncaring of whatever situation they were in, whether it was at home or in some random coffee shop. He could say what he wanted, he was just as sweet as she was and she didn't know what she could say in return that would give him the same teary-eyed, heart-jerking feeling that she was experiencing, so she went with the only thing that felt right.

"You wanna have that mini-date now?" She whispered, brushing their lips together and smiling when he nodded with a breathless chuckle. Yeah, that sounded nice and it got even sweeter when she mumbled those three little words back, leading him over to the counter where business had resumed as normal, Doctor Piper grinning to herself as she helped carry her crush out and saw them step up to order some coffee. He could hear her sweet voice talking to the barista, ordering two drinks and possibly something equally sweet to eat, but he wouldn't find out what it was until they sat down on one of the cosy loveseats and chatted the afternoon away because he was lost in his thoughts. 

It was a moment, but it wasn't the moment, even if the box was obnoxiously sticking out of his pocket like it was begging to be let out, but it didn't feel right. There were too many people around, strangers that had no business in seeing the best moment of their lives so he refrained from getting down on one knee.

It wasn't the right moment, but he was damn sure that it was getting close.

[shadowmaat]

Love me NOT

I admit it's been a long time since I was eleven years old. I'm also somewhere on the ace spectrum (though I didn't know that at the time). As such, I have some questions regarding why a book featuring an eleven year old girl needs a romantic subplot. Especially one featuring a boy 2+ years older.

I've had a lot of issues over the years with how kid/YA lit- especially those with female protagonists- always seems to need a romantic element in them. In Western lit, at least, it's unusual if a book DOESN'T feature a young girl/woman falling in love. Usually against her will, especially if she's the Strong Independent type. It's such a cultural default that I sometimes wonder if it simply doesn't occur to authors that they don't have to wedge in a romance in order to sell books.

Of course the alternative is that it's less the fault of the authors and more the fault of Big Publishing, who prefer a guaranteed formula and a familiar narrative.

Or it could be a bit of both. Either way it's making me increasingly uncomfortable to see us getting mired deeper and deeper into the false idea that women (and girls) must fall in love with a man (or boy) in order for their "story" to be complete. Hallmark movies make it even worse by taking the added step of shaming women in high-power jobs.

Anyway, this is an old and well-worn gripe, but having recently read the summary of a book where an eleven year old girl matches wits against the "handsomest boy" in high school, it just kinda... skeeved me a bit.

Nothing wrong with a bit of romance now and then. Or exploring the awkward emotions of preteens coming to terms with weird feelings, but FFS it'd be nice if romance didn't make up the vast majority of what's available to young girls/teens (and even older women, TBH).

[sielunroskaa]

On one hand, I could call myself bisexual. I fit the description; I like more than one gender. I feel sexual attraction towards men and romantic attraction more towards women. But I feel like I can't call myself bisexual since the bi rep I see is mostly "men are hot. women are hot. I date both." which is valid. But I just don't see myself in it at all.

This idea of a bisexual being somebody who doesn't have strong preferences of one gender over the other(s). Who likes girls and boys 50-50.

When I see people talk about their bi experiences, I rarely actually relate. Exceptions are Nick from the first book of Heartstopper. He has a crisis about having a crush on a boy even though he knows he likes girls. That was me for a long time, only the other way around.

BisexualRealTalk on YouTube has a video "Why bisexuals fall in love differently?" in which I did actually feel like I could fit the bi category.

The most I've actually felt represented was when I finally searched "biromantic heterosexual" on YouTube and watched the couple of videos of people telling their experience with this sexuality.

The first time I saw biromantic heterosexual people without searching for them was on Instagram @/real.polylife.germany. They are a triad: 1 woman, 2 men. The men are not bisexual, they are biromantic. They made a post about "What it means to be a man loving a man when there is no sex?" (or something about that, it was in German).

So in the light of the term bisexual actually including people like me, I still feel the representation is very stark with how a bisexual person is. I feel I don't fit there. I've actually not interacted with the "bi community" but I feel like I wouldn’t be welcome there since I'm too straight. (I recognise that these are only feelings and not based on facts.) But what with the whole biphobia/bi being invisible in the queer community, I've never related to it.

So for the moment I'm identifying as biromantic heterosexual. That is the term I feel most represented by and it explains quickly how I feel.

There are 2 people I've come out to as bi-straight, my best friend and an internet acquintance. I'm still very scared of what other people would say, mostly about the straight part. I do not want to sound like a "snowflake" or take up queer space since I still feel heterosexual.

Even though I know most people are accepting and understanding, I am scared. For that, I don't think I'll come out unless it's necessary. Even though I have the words to describe myself, I'm hesitant to use them. I'll just keep my sexuality vague.

This was kind of a ramble, genuinely thank you if you actually read any of this♡

[unhingedhearties]

New Year, New You (Same As The Old You) Part 1

Wow… TeamE83Liz really went on a posting spree on New Year’s Eve/Day. Pray for the family members that have to put up with her. That can’t be easy.

First a “poem” she wrote. I guess technically it’s a poem. There are words and some of them do rhyme.

Imagine “having knots in your stomach” and making yourself sick for days because a woman you don’t know and have never spoken to… is in a relationship. Imagine having no problems or hardships in your life so you find the time and energy to physically destroy your own health obsessing over the life choices of a woman that, in all likelihood, does not share your values.  How Erin lives her life has zero effect on your life. Those “knots in your stomach” are 100% a YOU problem. “How bad she can be! Alcohol, “sleeps w/someone” & more!”

Remember when Erin did that sponsored Instagram post where she had half an inch of white wine in a glass in front of a fire and some books? Some people, including Liz here, lost their minds at the idea of Erin drinking a-a-a-ALCOHOL! You know, that substance that’s used during mass in Catholicism and is an important part of cultures like France.

Oh, who am I kidding. There’s a 1000% percent chance that Liz is one of those Christians that thinks Catholics are evil. Still, it always surprises me to see Americans lose their mind at the “dangers” of alcohol but don’t think twice about shoving processed foods and corn syrup down their gullet. 

“Finding that stuff out, Made me kick, scream, and shout!”

I can’t help but notice that it doesn’t say “makes me want to”, meaning this middle-aged woman did actually “kick, scream and shout”.

There’s no shame in putting a family member in a group home, by the way. Sometimes it’s the best way to get them help.

More of this weird, convoluted “Me Me Me Me, how dare people say mean things about a TV character, that’s so rude, but I can say horrible things about the actress playing her, I have the right and free speech to say whatever I want, but if people call me out they’re rude and abusive bullies, why won’t anyone think of Me Me Me Me”.

“She’s SO hot, but he’s SO ugly!!”

Liz, post a photo of yourself. I’m serious. You keep dehumanizing this poor man and saying he’s ugly. Show the world what you look like.

"Living with" a girl/boy friend, Is a good way to go to H_ll in the end!"

Oh, you mean like what Lucas’s actor Chris McNally is doing? 

"Sleeping with someone before "I do", Is a 1-way ticket to H_ll too!"

Again, like what the actor who played Lucas, the other half of “Lucabeth” is doing? He even has a baby with his girlfriend. Wow, funny how TeamE83Liz is silent on that. Almost like it’s a double standard when men do it.

(And to make it clear, I do not think Chris or his girlfriend are “evil”. I don’t care about anyone’s marital status or if they have a child out of wedlock. I think people who harass and bully others for their relationship are evil).

"Short hair, dog=her kid, just to name a few."

Hoooooooly crap! I had suspected this thing about Erin’s hair, but TeamE83Liz never said it outright, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt (I won’t be doing that in the future). No screenshots of it because they seemed like innocuous comments at the time, but Liz has made several comments in the past regarding Erin’s hair and how she prefers it longer than the short style Erin usually has when not filming When Calls The Heart. Her hair on that show is clearly fake since it couldn’t possibly grow that fast when she starts filming. I thought it was just a preference TeamE83Liz had, but she apparently is deeply offended that Erin keeps her hair short in her real life. 

And we’ve already seen Liz freak out anytime Erin posts photos of her little dog. Love and respect for the life of animals is apparently something else that gives Liz anxiety attacks.

“Erin is toooooooooooo private, but also I learned so much about her private life it makes me cry boo hoo feel bad for me :( 

If only there was some way I could stop being upset at what I see on the internet. Oh well, better go make 5 more social media accounts after too many people blocked me. Gotta keep up to date on everything.”

.

.

.

"I'll know if being angry at her is actually the right thing to do! Bc, we could be wrong & mad for nothing!"

.

.

.

Lucabeth fans… find me a Team Nathan fan this awful.  What the hell does Liz want exactly? Erin to go live on Instagram and describe her SEX life? Is that really going to make you feel better? Will you finally be able to sleep at night thinking you’re justified in acting like a monster?

[selflessanatta]

G.O.A.T. Greatest of All Time, https://selflessanatta.com/g-o-a-t-greatest-of-all-time/

New Post has been published on https://selflessanatta.com/g-o-a-t-greatest-of-all-time/

G.O.A.T. Greatest of All Time

There is a Season

When answers to my questions include a wonderfully uplifting feeling of smoke blown up my ass, I quickly deduce that I need to ask better questions.

I recently had an intense emotional awakening.

When the empowerment came, I asked myself: “Why did this happen now and not some other time?”

I got decent answers.

Funny ones, anyway.

Trigger Warning

What follows will appeal to men more than women, except for those rare few who can laugh at extreme male stupidity on full display.

It’s crass.

It’s totally male.

It’s totally heterosexually male in raw detail.

You’ve been warned.

Photo by Julia Taubitz on Unsplash

Poolside Harem

The Court Jester really wanted to show this picture, so here it is.

The Court Jester secretly hopes everyone on earth discovers through this viral post and admires Him with flattering, racy comments.

He is self-important, proud, and vain.

He also complains that Humility is overrated.

I let him show his ignorant ass, just for the giggles.

He is my court jester.

You can get away with crap like that when you write anonymously!

Realistically, if I had become empowered as a younger man, I wouldn’t have survived the hedonistic binge that would have followed.

Pardon my digression, but my court jester did entertain me with some fantastic ideas that I would have implemented as an over-empowered, testosterone-pumped young man.

I’m confident that I would have employed a harem of stunning nude call girls to inhabit my pool.

Yeah, realistically, if I really didn’t have any reason to stop myself.

I would have.

Perhaps I have them catcall to me, call me “Big Boy,” and say, “You’re the man.”

That would be fun.

The La Quinta Cove Cock demonstrates that the desire for a big cock manifests in unusual ways.

G.O.A.T.

I might even take it one step further.

Why not?

I have the money. I only live once.

I would GO for it, in a big way.

Think of the Qi flow.

Wow!

My private harem of stunning nudes (their objects, not people) would have been extremely well paid to convince me — using all feminine charms at her disposal — the following Immutable Truths:

My monstrous member goes waaaay deep and feels ecstatically overwhelming, stimulating orgasms on contact. My Wand is magic!

As a lover, I am GOAT, the greatest of all time; not just her time, not just her best, I am the best lover that any woman ever had the privilege to pleasure. (That last part mandates deep digging for a strong performance. Method actors preferred.)

She eagerly enjoys my pleasures, no matter how bizarre; if she really doesn’t like it, she must fake it perfectly every time, forever, or until I tire of her and desire a replacement. A melon softens with too many squeezes.

She gushes excitedly for her good fortune and the honor of pleasing me. She is entirely selflessly devoted to my selfish pleasure — a true religious devotee willing to worship my manhood.

I would have expected Academy Award performances, and internally, I would have fostered the illusion and lived in that warped reality.

That really shouldn’t be surprising to anyone.

If any heterosexual male denies the above, I call bullshit.

Women, men, swap parts. Imagine the characters as you please. If the image appeals, the lover is believable, and they react to you by those four principles, you would like that.

It would be something you want.

There is a reason Leonardo DiCaprio has a cult of devotees who habitually spit-polish his knob.

He likes it.

Leo, My Court Jester thinks you RULE! He wants to throw a party and invite my favorite rock bands from the 80s. It will be GLORIOUS!!!

Leo, Seriously, my apologies for any offense. The performances you and Johnny Depp delivered in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. That’s G.O.A.T. I didn’t see you. I only saw Arnie. Remarkable. That movie deeply touched my heart.

Johnny, My wife was tempted to stuff you into the trunk of her car when you consulted a map for directions in a parking lot in Las Vegas 30 years ago. She still tells the story. She’s says your hot.

Living an illusion is very tempting. With enough money, you can afford an entourage of hangers-on, like Elvis did.

You can create the illusion of who you want to be, arrange your environment to reinforce your delusions, surround yourself with “yes” men (and women, of course), and live the dream.

Photo of the author living a fantasy with a work party photo model. I usually didn’t go clubbing with a name tag.

Unfortunately, it’s an illusion.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[angstfactory]

💭

💭 - when did you realise you were lgbt?

"I wish I could say it was any specific moment in time. Or that I considered any of it normal, either. Nobody in my family was like that, I was from a conservative area-- I didn't have much exposure to any of that kind of stuff so it was never anything I thought or learned about. My dad was a traditional kind of guy, too. Not a bad one, just traditional. The kind of man that did all those typical 'manly' activities with his sons and made comments about them growing up to be heartbreakers, etc. For the longest time, I never really thought about anyone in that way. I knew I preferred to hang out with other boys and I engaged in the same activities they did, because I wanted to be accepted. Anyone would. I also idolized my big brothers, too-- I tried to copy them all the time. When I saw them go through puberty and start chasing skirts, and how much our dad encouraged them to be 'respectful rascals', I figured that was what I was supposed to do, as well. It didn't really matter that I had no interest in anyone. Once girls started to notice me, I went with the flow of my peers. I remember I once went on a few movie dates with this one red-haired girl, can't remember her name anymore, because my friends kept ragging on me about her crush and that I should... So I did. I stopped doing that after she held my hand. It felt strange and I felt wrong, since I knew I didn't care about her the way she wanted me to.

I wasn't sure if something was wrong with me or not. I guess I felt like there must be, because I didn't have the same interests as my brothers and I couldn't answer my dad whenever he asked what girl I had my eye on. I think he was hoping I was just a late bloomer. But as time went on, I found myself watching other boys. A few would randomly pop up in mind from time to time as I wondered what they were doing in that moment, or if they were thinking about me. Sometimes I felt weird, too. Like my stomach would churn, my hands would get clammy, my throat would close up... I would get nervous. I didn't really know what all of this meant, but I knew it wasn't normal. I never heard my brothers talk about anything like that-- not around other boys, anyway.

And then the stable boy happened. He wanted to earn some extra cash to help his family out, so my dad would let him come over to help with our chores. We clicked immediately. It was so easy to talk with him, laugh with him. It quickly got to a point where I was counting the days until he'd be back around, because I missed him so much. I thought we were just best friends and I know I was lying to myself. I didn't want to focus on why I memorized everything about him, right on down to the way he talked to the flecks of green in those blue eyes. It was different with us, though, because I could feel that he felt the same way. I could see him looking at me, I could feel him standing too close. And I never once thought to recoil or ask him to stop. Not even the day we tripped into the hay together and he rolled on top of me. It was hard to stop kissing each other after that. We cared more about stealing time together than our chores. We'd run off for hours at a time and nobody would know what we were doing. I'm not sure what anyone would think if they did. What my dad would think... my family.

It didn't last. His family moved away and I was left alone again with a newfound understanding of myself. Now I knew the answer to so many of my questions, yet I had no idea what to do. I was afraid of what people would think if they found out. Especially my dad. He was so invested in me finding a good woman to settle down with, give him some grand babies... How was I supposed to tell him I didn't want any of that? How could I say I was gay? So I did what was easiest and I kept it to myself. I was too much of a coward to say anything and give my family the respect they deserve in knowing who I truly was. I thought I was protecting them and myself. I thought I could even make it all go away. And now it's too late. I'll never have that opportunity to talk to any one of them about this. I'll never get to know if my father would be proud of me, regardless.

He was a good man, though. I know that much. As I get older, I see the things I never noticed when I was younger. Like how much he loved us, how much he risked and sacrificed on the daily. And to tell you the truth... I don't think he'd care who I loved, ultimately. I think he'd only care that I was happy. It's taken me a long time to come to that understanding, but I know it's true.

He would have really liked Jason. Mom too."