#why is it so hard to get other people to become obsessed with my stupid blorbos

[paarksunghoon]

Jake finally taking you after months of uncertainty whether you like him or not. Pushing you against a wall, rough and passionate making out, and him being a softdom. Pleaseeeeeeee.

i imagined jake wearing glasses 😋 bonus points if the neighbors are heeseung, jay and sunghoon and they all hear jake fuck you lol

***

It all started with a stupid semester project.

Jake hates group work. He hates relying on people and he hates when his partners don’t complete their portion of the work. Jake thinks they’re lazy and good-for-nothing, even though he knows he’s being dramatic. He hates being the only person to contribute to the Google doc and he loathes it when the grade is dependent on everyone as a whole and not individually.

He meets you in Advanced Research Methods. It’s a required class for mathematical and physics majors in order to graduate, and Jake has pushed off taking it for as long as he could because he hates the idea of researching data with a partner. He knows the professor well enough to assume that there would be group work (he assumes correctly) but absolutely nothing could’ve prepared him from laying eyes on you for the first time.

When Dr. Kang announces the partners for the semester-long research project, Jake’s tapping his pen against his leg when he starts to hear names being called out. His ears perk up when he hears his own. When your name is said, Jake looks up and finds that you’re staring right at him.

You look so put together. Jake doesn’t know what it is about you that makes you look like you’ve got it all figured out. Maybe it’s because your hair looks particularly neat compared to all of the other people sitting around him. Perhaps it’s your laptop and notebook right next to it. Whatever it is, he finds himself a bit nervous to inevitably approach you in order to begin working on the project.

Dr. Kang allows the students to mingle and get to know one their project partners during the last ten minutes of class to exchange information. When you take initiative to walk to where Jake is sitting and occupy the seat next to him, he finds himself stuttering.

“H-Hey,” he says pathetically. You’re prettier up close.

“Hi! Jake, right?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“Here’s my phone. Why don’t you put your number in.”

Jake’s hands are almost shaking as he holds your phone between his hands and settles with ‘Jake Sim - Research Methods’ as his contact so you remember him. When he hands it back to you, he watches you type away before he feels his own phone buzz.

Unknown Number: hi! it’s yn.

He saves the contact quickly before class ends and the two of you decide to wait until the next class to set a time to meet to work on the project.

Jake’s worries about group projects disappear when he begins working with you. You’re punctual, never a minute late when the two of you agree to meet after classes to work on it. You contribute to brainstorming sessions and crunch data numbers like you’re the best at it. Jake finds that he’s able to divide up the work evenly and sleeps at a decent hour because he doesn’t have to stay up late to finish an extra portion.

Your intellect is attractive to him. You’re able to explain difficult theories and statistical processes to him better than any professor he’s ever hard. Only, it becomes hard to listen to you talk because he keeps staring at your lips.

They’re so kissable. Jake wonders what they must feel like against his own. He imagines grabbing your face with his hands and planting one on you when you talk about SPSS but he doesn’t act on it, fearing that he may make you uncomfortable. Jake loves it when you start to wear shorter dresses and skirts because the weather is warming up. He likes seeing your thighs stick to the seats and watching you pull the fabric down to prevent flashing everybody.

As the months go by, he realizes he’s learned a lot about you. You’re not from around and you dream of working in astrophysics one day. You love the color green and you’re obsessed with tangerines to the point where he bought a bag just to present you with one at every session. You’re a night owl and you love all kinds of music except country, and you prefer coffee over tea.

Jake also knows that your body is gorgeous. Your legs look stunning in shorter skirts and your tits look beautiful when they almost spill out of your crop tops. He knows what your thighs look like when you sit and how your skirt rides up to accommodate the new angle you’ve put yourself in.

It messes with his head because sometimes, he swears you might like him, too.

You laugh at his corny math jokes and ask him to hang out with you on the weekends. You let him buy you coffee and meals when it’s late into the night. You let him walk you home and you even allow Jake to nap on your bed when he comes over to work on the project after long, hot days.

It all comes to a boiling point one Thursday evening when he’s alone with you in your dorm. Your roommate is gone until Monday and Jake is sitting on the bed whilst you’re sitting on the desk chair, stretching your arms above your head until your shirt rides up. He can see your skin and wonders how soft you must be.

For just a moment, Jake wonders what your bare skin would feel like against his palms. Your breasts look plush to the touch and he’d bet anything that your pussy would feel so amazing against his fingers and cock when you’re wet. He imagines sliding his dick in and out of your tight hole, pumping until he’s coming inside of you and making you messier than before.

But he regrets this thought because he’s half hard in his sweatpants and there’s no way to hide it.

“I, uh, think I’m gonna head back to my dorm,” Jake announces as he puts a notebook in front of his crotch.

“Already?” You turn around and pout at him. “But you got here thirty minutes ago.”

Jake shuffles to the door. “Sorry, Y/N. I think I’ll do my portion there.”

“Jake, I really need you here to complete my part. We’re supposed to turn in the second half of the report this week and I need your help to do it.”

God, you sound so hot when you’re asking him to stay.

He panics when you stand from your seat to approach him as he motions to open the door. The sound of your chair scraping against the floor startles him until he drops the notebook that’s been covering his semi-hard dick. You gasp.

“Are you hard?”

Bashfully, Jake sighs and tries to back away from you. “This I why I wanted to leave, okay? I…I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

You look at his crotch and then back up at him. “Why are you hard?”

Jake’s face heats up even more. “I-I don’t know.”

“Jaeyun.” Your voice sounds so delicate saying his name like that.

“It’s because I like you and you’re wearing shorts that leave nothing to the imagination, okay?!” He sighs. “I’ve liked you since the second time we worked on the project because that’s when I knew I could rely on you. Everything else was just circumstance and now I need to go to my dorm so I can take care of this.”

“I can help,” you tell him. You say it just shy of confidently and he can’t tell if you feel bad for him or not.

“You don’t have to say or do anything. I already made this weird.”

You force yourself to stop looking at his cock. Knowing Jake, he’s too embarrassed to realize that your proposition is genuine and that you’ve harbored a crush on him since becoming partners with him too. So you muster up enough courage to press your lips to his and hope the message is clear.

Jake’s eyes widen against your mouth and you pull back after a few seconds to see the astonished look on his face. “I like you too, dummy. Have since you started bringing me tangerines after knowing me for two weeks.”

“Really?”

You nod. “Mhm. Can I kiss you again?”

Jake captures your mouth in a kiss the way he wants to—his hands grab your jaw and he pushes his lips against yours until he’s turning you. You feel your back hit the hard wall and gasp into the kiss, allowing Jake to lick your bottom lip with his tongue. The sensation dances across your chest and you gush out a stream of wetness at Jake’s urgency.

“Could’ve been kissing you all this time,” he mutters against your neck as he drags his lips down your skin. “Feel what you do to me.”

Without detaching himself from you, Jake puts your hand on his hardened cock and hears you whimper at the feeling. He coaxes you to squeeze him through the fabric and moans against your neck when you do.

“Such a good girl, listening to me like that.” He pulls away and pushes his hips into your palm. “I’m always hard for you.”

“R-Really?”

“You’re so hot, Y/N. You have to know that.”

Jake doesn’t let you respond. He grips your waist and pushes his plump lips back on yours and kisses you with fervor until your own lips have become swollen. The two of you emit breathy moans in the quiet of your dorm room and your free hand pushes Jake’s sweats down until his cock springs free. The hand around his dick collects the precum that has oozed from his swollen head and you smear it over his skin.

“Fuck me,” he moans to himself. “You’re perfect.”

“Your cock is perfect,” you choke. “So big.”

“Yeah? Can you spit on it for me?” You do as he says, leaning forward until a wad of it touches his slit. Jake smiles at you lustfully and squeezes your hips. “Good girl. Always so good, aren’t you? Makes me wonder how good you’ll be for me when I fuck you.”

“I’ll be so good,” you whine as you twist your hand up and down his length. Jake resumes kissing your neck and the electricity makes your pussy quiver. “I want you inside of me now.”

“Now? You think you’re wet enough?” You nod. “We’ll just have to see, now won’t we?”

Jake’s movements are hurried as he pushes your shorts down until they’re at your knees. You aren’t lying. You’re really wet. The cute baby pink panties you wear are soiled and he feels it when his fingers come in contact with the fabric.

The short whimper you let out is enough for Jake to short circuit. He doesn’t believe this is real. Even less so when you maneuver his cock until the tip it pushing against your covered core, gathering your wetness to coat his cock.

“Fuck, you really are perfect,” Jake whispers against you. He pulls back to watch as you stroke him while keeping the tip plush against you as if to coax him into fucking your hole. Jake’s mouth hangs open at the delicious sensation of the wet fabric against his cock head and decides you’re wet enough to take all of him.

He relishes in your gasp when he forces you to turn around. You push your ass towards him and Jake slaps your right ass cheek with his big hands until the sound reverberates in the room. Jake pulls your panties down until they join your shorts halfway down your legs and pushes his cock against you.

“How are you so fucking wet?” he mutters.

“It’s all for you.”

“Fuck yes it is.”

Without bothering to pull his sweatpants off, Jake uses his hand to slide the tip up and down your slit until you’re arching your back and clutching the wall to the best of your ability. The wet splashes make him even hornier and he pushes the head into you until you envelop him.

Slowly, Jake pushes into you inch by inch and holds you by the waist. He rubs your bare skin and coos at you when you wiggle your ass to get more of him. The pain feels exceptional. You can’t remember a time where you fucked someone as big as Jake and you don’t want to live without his cock inside of you like this.

Jake takes his shirt off to prevent it from obstructing the view of his cock disappearing into your pussy. He pushes himself inside of you until he’s completely sheathed and catches you by surprise. Jake silences your moan with a kiss to your mouth and rubs soothing circles on your waist, kissing you like his life depends on it while you get used to the new stretch.

He pushes his tongue against yours and uses the spit to coat his lips. You taste exactly like the pink lemonade you’ve been drinking all night and the innocent flavor makes his hips buck into you.

“Fuck me,” you beg. “Please, Jake. Don’t make me wait.”

He obliges. Jake fucks into you with all his might and his strong, muscular arms hold you in place as you push your chest against the wall and hold onto the door handle. The string of moans you let out is surely loud enough to let the neighbors know what’s happening behind the door but neither of you care about that right now. Jake wants to make you come and he’s slinging his hips into you from an upward angle, bending his knees to make sure his cock impales your g-spot.

“You’re so hot,” he moans. “I think about fucking you all the time.”

“M-Me too,” you confess.

“Yeah? What do you think about?”

“I think about—Ah!—Fingering me in class and eating my pussy.”

“Fuck yeah. I can do that for you.” Jake grips your hips tighter. “I can make you cum.”

“Make me cum, Jaeyun,” you plead, pushing your ass back. “I wanna cum on your cock.”

Jake pistons his hips into you until you’re parallel to the floor, holding onto the handle for dear life. He pushes into you so hard that you’re afraid you’d fall if it weren’t for his strong grip on you. Jake pushes and pushes, saving his orgasm until you come first.

It hits you like a tidal wave crashing over the shore. Your orgasm is long and drawn out as he keeps his brutal pace. Your release seeps from between the two or you and drips down his balls. Jake bites his lip at the tingling sensation and smacks your ass when you clench around him.

“Use me to make yourself cum,” you tell him. “Please, Jake. Please cum for me.”

“Say less, Princess.”

His orgasm follows shortly behind yours. Jake pulls out after five more thrust and pumps his cock until his cum spurts all over the globes of your ass. The warm, thick liquid feels so good against your skin that you push your bare pussy against him until Jake is letting his hot cock rest on you too.

When he regains his breath, he spots a roll of paper towels and gives your cheek a quick kiss before cleaning the both of you up. His touch is gentle, juxtaposed to his fucking just a few minutes prior. Jake cleans himself up before wiping the cum off of you and wiping your pussy gently too. He coaxes you to change into fresh undergarments and lets you collapse onto the bed with your eyes on him.

“I really do like you,” Jake says. “I didn’t say that just to fuck you.”

You pull him down and kiss him until all that’s left is soft pecks and the sound of lips smacking. Jake lets you pull away to lay on top of his chest and you feel him kiss the crown of your head.

“Sleep, Y/N. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

***

comments and reblogs are appreciated! x

[harmonysanreads]

HARMONYYY i just finished the penacony quest and OH MY GOD. the emotional damage wtf... and the murderer 😕 i honestly don’t think anyone could’ve foreseen that

on another note, sunday really does have huge yandere potential !!! (i was swooning the entire time he was on screen im sorry.) he literally isn’t beating the allegations at all. even the other characters comment on how weird it is for him to casually keep a model of the golden hour, because what in the control freak 😭

he seems like he’d play dollhouse with darling. after all, in a place like that, every single aspect of it is under his thumb — literally. having that much control over your circumstances is a reassurance. oh, are the placeholder models crashing? don’t worry dear, he can fix the malfunctions. he can even make them speak more realistically for you. he can give anything to you, even change the layout of the place entirely if you’re bored of it. you want to get back to normal size? well, he can’t quite do that just yet, please understand..

or if he pulls that weird interrogation magic thing on them. darling who just lies through the entire thing, and he uses this to scare them about the death countdown while not mentioning the part that he has the power to really just cancel it in the end. though, the same trick won’t work on them twice. at least the process gets darling to become part of the family in the end.

not to mention the spies he has everywhere. stupid birds watching you in every corner…

idk i just want to hold him and shake him aggressively. out of love, of course.

- 🕯️

When I tell you I've lost sleep over the thought of just how much more Sunday is probably capable of doing, nonnie.

If he has access to technology and power like this, which are all unrestricted for his personal use moreover, imagine the things he's hiding. And imagine farther the things he had to do to get to where he is today, another dash of spice to the mix. I went back to his scenes and did some thinking. The me-slandering-Sunday is obviously a joke but I really, really hope people just don't focus on the morally-gray and questionable aspects of him and completely disregard his other characteristics now.

If you think about things from his perspective, he really is just trying his best to keep the image of The Family. But the loss of probably the only person he trusted with his heart and the disregard to bring justice to that case from The Family's side, compelled him to put his agenda first (as he himself mentions that he allowed Aventurine to pull that stunt so that it'd lure Gallagher out). What we get from this is, while Sunday is an extremely dedicated member of their faction, he had to learn to be selfish in certain situations to save his and Robin's backs.

The desire to control usually comes from a feeling of helplessness. We can make some speculations based on the current information of why Sunday has these tendencies, I've also seen some people say he has OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) but, we can't be sure until his full lore drops. Another thing to note about Sunday is how lonely he probably is, especially at present. The Family is in chaos, the situation of Robin, external forces' traps, the Charmony festival's deadline and he doesn't even have one person he can sit down with and not question their motives. He really must want to rest just as much as the characters around him are suggesting.

So basically, Sunday is a multi-layered character, just like Aventurine. He's definitely a politician, is what I'll say. Even though he is a control freak whose motives are hard to guess, he's still that little boy fighting for his and Robin's shared dream inside.

[nutcasewithaknife]

I've been obsessed with Jiang Cheng since halfway through my first watch of cql, and here's why. He always keeps doing better than I expect him to.

(wow, this got long. rest is under the cut!)

He's introduced as the brother-killer, the ruthless sect leader with a reputation for being merciless. Then cut to the flashback, a Jiang Cheng who is fifteen, surrounded by his sister and brother and happy about it, occasionally doing stupid teenager things, trying so very hard to be Ideal Heir, while Wei Wuxian is the prodigy that keeps stealing his thunder effortlessly. And you go, "oh, I know this story. It's a tragedy, because these brothers loved each other once, but one's ambition will eventually breed jealousy which will fester into hate and end, tragically, in the death of the better half." It's Cain and Abel! You've seen how it ends, it's the first scene you see, of course that's where it's going!

And then you see how the three siblings help each other survive a frankly horrible and abusive household. They try to do for each other what their parents couldn't; Yanli tries to be their mother, Jiang Cheng doesn't believe the rumours about Wei Wuxian being jfm's illegitimate son or hold it against him as he very easily could've learnt to from his mother, and Wei Wuxian does his darned best to get jfm to acknowledge and love his son as he does for Wei Wuxian.

You keep waiting for the other shoe to drop!! Yunmeng burns, Jiang Cheng chokes his brother in the rain, and you think this is it, this is where it finally breaks. But he sticks with his brother and sister, he makes some stupid decisions in his grief and pays dearly for it. When he wakes up without a core he is broken, his 'ambition' is destroyed, and you remember him choke his brother and think this is it, and then... it isn't. Other than the one grieving rant in the rain, he never blames his brother for their loss, never demands that he fix it all. When Wei Wuxian does come with a solution, Jiang Cheng doesn't act like it's something he was owed. It's his brother, his brilliant genius brother, who miraculously fixed this impossible thing! He's the most Jiang of them all, of course he achieved the impossible!

And then he's the young sect leader in a bloody war, needing to win, needing to prove his worth and his sect's worth at every turn. This is where he becomes the ruthless, powerful man we meet in the first few episodes! Only.... he finds Wen Qing, who is the enemy in the eyes of the Jianghu, and offers to protect her (only her because he knows his limits, he can't protect all her people and his own, and his duty to his sect is first). He goes looking for his brother, months on end, haggard to the bone.

Then Wei Wuxian shows up wielding a power that's the worst taboo in their world, a power frighteningly similar to the power-drunk villain that they war is being waged against! He's doing unspeakable things, terrible torture in the name of revenge! Ah, so this is what it finally is! The moment they finally fall out for good, where Jiang Cheng cannot abide to tarnish his sect's reputation with Wei Wuxian's, and their love turns to hate.

But.... Jiang Cheng sees what he's done, and the first thing he does is to hug him tight. He asks about Wei Wuxian not carrying his sword, but even after the diplomatic nightmare of a war council, Jiang Cheng is just worrying. It's the most open, the most honest we've seen him so far, and he is concerned for his brother. He shuts it down when Jin Zixun tries to pick a fight. He takes responsibility for the person everyone's wary of, because that's his brother and he trusts him! He's hiding things, yes, but one day he will be ready to talk and Jiang Cheng will wait till then.

Then the war's won (by Wei Wuxian, of course!) and he has a sect to rebuild. And his brother is not at his side. First he's slacking off and drinking around town, then he runs away with the Wens to the Burial Mounds. It's terrible for the sect's and Jiang Cheng's own precarious position in Jianghu. Surely, this is the last thread of Jiang Cheng's love for his brother, the beginning of the man we were introduced to? But it's fucking not! Yes, he's frustrated. Yes, he's mad. And yet, he doesn't force his sister into a diplomatically advantageous marriage (which I strongly believe is the bare minimum of being a decent human being, but is something that wouldn't have been a questionable or dishonourable thing for him to do in the culture and world this story is set in) because she is not a pawn and he respects her choice above the politics! He tries to defend his First Disciple, his brother, and is overshadowed by much more powerful leaders who are bigoted and/or afraid of his power. And when it all goes to shit, they fight! This is the end of it, surely? But no! It's all fake! They fight, make up a lie about how the Yunmeng Jiang has supressed Wei Wuxian and his Wens in the Burial Mounds so they can live without being under attack for however long, and then have shady meetups to discuss their nephew's name!!

In the carnage of Nightless City, their sister dies at his hands, and the horrible realisation dawns that this is what pushes them over the brink, literally. And then!! AND THEN!!!!! EVEN THEN IT WASN'T ENOUGH FOR HIM TO KILL HIS BROTHER!!! The first scene was a lie, WEI WUXIAN HAD TO THROW HIMSELF OFF!!!!!! And when he's finally back, what does Jiang Cheng do? Kill him? ban him from ever returning to their home? No! He wants to drag him back home and make him apologise, explain himself!!

A lot of this is very focused on the brothers, but even outside of that, Jiang Cheng keeps subverting the expectations that the story builds for him right in the beginning. For all the talks of 'disciplining' his nephew (which could unquestionably entail some form of corporal punishment, as we see in other parts of the story) and the childhood Jiang Cheng himself had, the idea of his Jiujiu raising his hand against him is unthinkable to the point of incredulity for Jin Ling. When Jin Ling has his breakdown over Suihua on the Lotus Pier docks, I was full bracing myself for Jiang Cheng to yell at him for crying in public without any shame or dignity, but what does he do? Calls his nephew to his side and demands to know who made him cry, so he can fucking wreck them for daring to do that! He has a mere day to process the Golden Core reveal, and after all the yelling, he actually apologises to his brother!!

Then, in the mother of all sucker-punch moments, we find out that the one grief-riddled, frustrating moment of apparent stupidity whose domino effect this entire thing has been, was in fact Jiang Cheng willingly sacrificing himself, sect be damned, to save his brother and sister. And like!! How do you have such a character who simultaneously is and is not what he seems to be!!!

I (and a lot of the audience) immediately played into the simple brotherhood-destroyed-by-jealousy plot that it seems to be at first, but that's the intention! The entire story keeps showing how misleading, how vicious rumours can be and how horribly it can affect who someone is in the eyes of society. We see this happen in the story, of course, but the narrative also relies on the audience to make the same mistake, to take the tropes that seem obviously implied at the start, and then unravels the true complexity of the story as it moves forward. We got played by the narrative and it was so worth it!! Wei Wuxian is the prime example, of course, but cql (and mdzs from what I gather, though I haven't read the books) does it with such nuance and brilliance for Jiang Cheng, how do you not immediately lose your entire mind about it for the rest of forever!!!!!

[usercelestial]

tbh i think a lot of the people saying "well both sides are wrong"/"bt stans are just as toxic" are just not exposed to other perspectives in this fandom. as a buddie fan who's been watching this show since s1, i can safely say that buddie fans have always been toxic. like as fact. to me, to say that bucktommy fans are just as harmful or just as annoying or just as bad as buddies consistently are is just. delusional. indicative of at worst a biased opinion and at best an uninformed one. buddie has been here since s2 and fans have ruthless ever since. bucktommy has been here for 3/4 of a season and for the most part, stay in their lane. i'm sure there are bucktommy fans who suck, like that's just being on the internet, but you have to be blind to ignore how insane buddie fans are and genuinely how much worse they are in comparison.

i don't want to generalize and i think constantly adding that disclaimer is annoying as hell bc obviously i'm not talking about everyone but because buddie has been here for so long and taken up so much mental space of very die-hard, passionate fans, you're going to see much more intensity on that side. after season 5, i had to step away from the fandom and the show because of how frustrating it got. it was annoying to see people swear up and down buddie will be canon by the end of s3-no wait s4-no wait s5-no wait- and ultimately it sucked my enjoyment out of a show i otherwise enjoyed because i got swept up in the Buddie Of It All and forget about why i watch the show to begin with. we've been left to stew in our theories and now we can't tell what canon and what's fanon anymore, and when the show reminds us, the disappointment and frustration kills our hopes.

i was also active in the dan and phil fandom and supernatural fandom, like ik why people think we're annoying and it's because we are. we make everything about the one thing we like, we comment on every post begging for it to become canon, we're violently disappointed when the show doesn't play into our fan theories because we've convinced ourselves buddie is going to happen by the end of the next episode or actually the end of this season or actually maybe the end of the next season. we've torn a part every female love interest, either making them boring or making them unlikeable in our fanon. all that to say is that when people call us annoying, they're telling the truth and when bucktommy fans say buddie fans are toxic, they're coming from a sincere place. i mean we can't even enjoy our own ship because we're so quick to get our hopes up and be let down about something as stupid it becoming canon. who cares if it becomes canon, just like it to like it.

and it makes sense why there's perceived "toxicity" on the bucktommy side. our energy is being matched; the obsession, the passion, the surge in fandom. if you don't like it or even just find it annoying, i suggest you guys look back on your own posts and comments and behaviors towards other people in the fandom and other characters and unbiasedly compare it to the Toxic Bucktommy Shippers you're claiming you hate. if bucktommy fans are obsessive, it's because we've set the stage for that. if bucktommy fans are getting aggro and defensive, it's because buddie fans have been on the opposition and don't know how to turn it off. we've gone from underdog to bully somewhere in the last 6 seasons.

[nana-mania]

“HIS RED FLAGS” what does he do that make him an obvious red flag?

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ headcanon

࿐*ೃ feat : michael kaiser, sae itoshi, ryusei shidou, alexis ness

࿐*ೃ fandom : blue lock

࿐*ೃ extra : gn! reader, angst.

࿐*ೃ trigger warning : bodyshaming, profanities, manipulation, mention of intercourse, stalking, toxic relationship

MICHAEL KAISER

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ He is an arrogant and egocentric man, always bragging about himself on daily basis with you. Frequently, he belittles you and pressures you into improving yourself more. He wants to make sure you're worthy to stand next to him to maintain his distinguished image as German prodigy. Since he views himself as embodiment of perfection, you must be as perfect as him. Insulting your insecurities whenever you experience low self-esteem is his way to motivate you to better yourself.

“Stop eating that unhealthy junk. You will gain weight.”

“If you don't start working out and get rid of those fat, I'm gonna fucking dump you.”

“I don't care! Starve yourself to death or anything. If you still love me, then stop whining.”

SAE ITOSHI

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Living in Spain for years and learning the harsh reality of life at such young age damages his emotional growth as a teenager. He grows up as an ignorant man who lacks empathy toward others' feelings, even his own significant other. Engaging in relationship with Sae is like one-sided love. It is only you who is always concerned about the relationship and strive hard to maintain a stable relationship. Sae, in the other hand, could care less of your feelings and emotions. Often being bluntly cruel and hurting your feelings, intentionally and unintentionally. His career as soccer player is his sole priority after all.

“Can't you see I'm tired? Leave me alone.”

“Why should I waste my energy and time on a stupid date? Just stay at home.”

“Stop being mean? I'm merely being honest. It's not my fault that you're too sensitive.”

RYUSEI SHIDOU

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Ryusei is one manipulative partner, messing with your mind and emotions frighteningly often in order to force you to stay by his side despite how toxic the relationship is. He is selfish, obsessive and possessive. He makes you believe nobody else will love you as much as he does, even tricking your mind into believing he is the only one in this world who accept you as who you are. If breaking your mind is the only mean to turn you into an obedient doll for him, he will resort to such cruelty. He also despises talking things out when conflict brews up between you and him. To him, the sole way to make peace with you is through intercourse. He never force himself on you but he frequently seduces you into having sex as distraction to avoid having serious talk. You can never resist him and always submit yourself to him willingly. His words of temptation...is irresistible.

“Break up? There is no one better than me out there.”

“Oh, sweetheart...you can never find another person to love you. I'm the only one capable of doing so..”

“Have you forgotten? You're all alone, sweetheart. Who else will be by your side when you're at your lowest?”

ALEXIS NESS

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Alexis has major trust issue and inferior complex. Often attempting to be the dominant one in the relationship by controlling you. He easily misunderstands your words or action. He unhealthily believes his words as the only truth, frequently coming up with his own speculation and accuses you of mistakes you never commit. Once he loses his mind, he becomes quite violent yet he tries to resist himself from hurting you physically. He usually suppresses himself by throwing objects on the floor to relieve his anger and warning you. However, sometime he only verbally attacks you by comparing you to other people; specifically his exes. Considering his trust issue is extremely severe, he stalks on you whenever you go out with your friends or by yourself.

“What? You want to see your friend? What's wrong with staying home with me all day? Have you lost your feelings toward me?”

“Who the fuck is that bastard with you earlier? Are you cheating on me?!”

“Shut the hell up. Why the hell are you like this? All my exes are not as annoying as you.”

࿐*ೃ thanks for reading this headcanon! likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated ♡

[sunlovessapphics]

my favourite flavour of radioapple toxicity is codependency. Them starting out as enemies and then becoming insufferably and obnoxiously attached at the hip for no apparent reason.

Charlie asks Alastor to go to the monthly overlord meeting and he’s like can I bring Lucifer and she does a long hard sigh before being like fine whatever okay. Charlie and Lucifer do a father’s daughter bonding activity and he’s like you know what would be great . If alastor was here.

And while all of this is going on they’re still pretending to hate each other like Fuck you and your stupid fuckass haircut! Anyway do you want to watch me cook dinner for the hotel today. Of course Alastor would end up saying yes ( in the most roundabout pointless old timey way possible ) and of course they’ll end up spending the next fourty eight hours in the same room as one another.

For Lucifer this means that he’d start distancing from all his other relationships, becoming more and more obsessed with Alastor’s attention / presence. People start getting worried but they can’t approach him because he’s always around Alastor. For Alastor I’d imagine he thinks that he’s got lucifer wrapped around his finger - that he’s the one in control of the situation - when he’s actually just as enamoured and obsessed with the other. He’d get so used to lucifer being around him all the time that he would actually be offended if Lucifer wasn’t around, developing that specific flavour of possessiveness and passive aggression that has him being like “Well of course I thought we would be making breakfast together, why else would I be here? Unless you think I should leave.”

Of course this is not sustainable and will end up blowing up in their faces. They know that. But they still spend all their time together - as if that’s a form of consumption in itself. As if they’re consuming the other whole bit by bit.

[paradlselost]

CRIMSON.

JOHN SEED X FEMALE DEPUTY

Sort of a dump, I was really debating on just publishing this as a WIP but I was halfway through the smut and decided to just finish it. Not my best, but I tried to go for a more canon accurate John, which means he’s a major freak in this sorry :/

I mentioned it in the fic but didn’t go too deep, I kinda love toying with the idea of a more selfish deputy - humanizing them. If I were to ever write a longer fic with more of an oc-ized version of the deputy would anyone read? Let me know.

I probably won’t post about John Seed or FC5 for a little while after this. I have ideas for a Black Noir (my bbg) fic and then a Father Paul Hill one from Midnight Mass cause I love religious trauma as y’all can tell. I do also like indoctrinated!deputy so maybe maybe eventually I write about that.

2.7k words

content warnings: mentions of cutting into flesh. smut — dubcon, choking, blood play (John being a freak sorry), dryhumping, oral (m receiving), fingering, debauchery in a house of God.

She should’ve known from the start, when the crackle of her radio sounded, interjecting her music with his voice; that this request was nothing but trouble. But rage had blinded her, wrath seeped into every pore in her body, selfishness.

It was never the Deputy’s plan to become the symbol for the resistance, even after the blades of the helicopter stopped, and smoke and fire billowed out from the engine. Even after Dutch saved her and enlisted her help, and despite the stories from countless other resistance members, she only really had one prerogative; save her friends. 

Hudson, Pratt, Whitehorse. Trapped in the claws of the cult, it was her duty to get them back, and despite the help she had been giving to the resistance, those were the only three people she cared about.

He knew this, stalking her like a cat preparing to pounce, he watched every facet of her life from the moment she ventured into Holland Valley that he could. A selfish little thing, ripe for his obsession.

John Seed was a proud man, bold and brave as he had so eloquently begged Jacob to put in his song. His pedestal as a Herald inflated his ego, the knowledge that without him Eden’s Gate wouldn’t have prospered nearly as much fueled his narcissism, which is why he surrounded himself with only the peggies who would do anything for him.

He isn’t sure whether new members are supposed to pledge their lives to him and the cult, but it sounds so sweet when the floor pools with the blood of their atonement and he coaxes those little words from his new followers' lips. His tongue is coated in silver, he loves this new power, and she threatens to take that from him.

He knew she wouldn’t be as proactive if he crooned to her that he had a resistance member or two, and she would swing in guns blazing if he claimed to have Hudson right beside him. So, instead he played on her curiosity, that little nudge in the back of her mind that forced her to seek him out whenever he called. Like a moth to a flame.

“Fuck you, Seed!” Voice so filled with venom it might’ve burned a hole in the floor, he tilted his head at her profanity, a sadistic grin playing on his face.

Hope County was filled with little white churches, chapels with steeples that attempted to reach to the heavens above. She assumed they were much more lively before, now most were barren except on Sundays, when the peggies who could not fit onto Joseph’s compound would listen to him under random roofs of God.

This. He chose to be under the white ceiling specifically, to call her into the thing she had been fighting against. To hear her screams echo against the chipped painting that decorated the walls, for her blood to be stained on the old wooden floorboards.

Curiosity killed the cat. She was stupid enough to venture into his trap, falling to the ground when hit hard enough over the head, and now she was stupid enough to attempt to fight off the peggies that held either arm.

“Such profanity. You’re in a house of God, Deputy, mind your tongue.” He scolded her as if she was a misbehaving child, as if everything she had ever done could be chalked up to that. A spoiled rotten brat.

His fingers danced over the tools he had brought with him, his trusty tattoo gun being at the top, but an assortment of knives he also deemed fit for this occasion. Oh, the blood she would spill for him, he became giddy at the thought.

“Get off of me-! Woah woah woah- hey stop!” Yelping, she still attempted to fight off the peggies that held her arms, she shied away when he advanced toward her, tattoo gun in his hands. He had tried this before, she knew what he was doing.

“No one here to help you now, Wrath. Don’t try and fight, your atonement will hurt much less if you cooperate.” He was too calm for this situation, a practiced art he had been through hundreds of times. It was a skill, making people spill their most intimate secrets, a skill he had perfected.

The Deputy was a fighter, through and through, though John could understand Jacobs words. She was weak without her companions, without pastor Jerome stealing her from her atonement, or Nick Rye strafing his armed convoy, she was nothing now - and it was almost endearing to him.

With her hands bound, she resorted to spitting that same venom that she held in her words, marking his perfect face with her saliva. He grimaced, wiping it off his cheek before it trailed down to his beard, pretty blue eyes flashing with that same bloodlust that dictated his every waking moment.

It was shocking to even the peggies that held her when he grabbed her by her throat, pinning her to the ground and straddling her hips. His hands shook with anger - the same wrath that he deemed consumed her now making an appearance in himself. Two sides of the same coin, two heads of a snake.

Her head ached now, body feeling as though it was echoing. A second blow to the back of her head that surely would’ve knocked her out if the pain of his tattoo gun wasn’t keeping her grounded. She didn’t know how fast he had ripped her shirt, or how long it would take for him to carve her skin, but she was reduced to pained whines and pleas for him to stop.

And he relished in the noises she made. The blood that covered his hands and trickled down her chest wasn’t an unusual sight for the herald - but her being the one under him made it all the more exciting. His Deputy, his wrath, his perfect rival. The peggies that stood above him now didn’t matter, and what are they to him anyways? Expendable followers he could use, the Deputy was everything.

“Yes yes, c’mon, keep pleading…” How could he help it? Her eyes half lidded as she looked up at him, hands no longer bound by the peggies now loosely grabbing the wrist that held the tattoo gun in an attempt to stop him. She looked so pathetic under him, so why shouldn’t he grind himself against her when his pants were so uncomfortably tight?

Her words didn’t quite reach his ears, not as he waved his followers out - who hurriedly scrambled in embarrassment. The old church was silent, save for her soft sobs and his intense breathing. His hand still placed over her neck made her choke on her words, which only fueled his desire. He could crush her windpipe, her life rested in his hands, and maybe he would’ve if the nagging reminder that she was the only way he was getting into New Eden wasn’t playing in the back of his head.

His ticket, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t have some fun with her.

He removed his hand from her neck as he finished carving into her pretty skin. WRATH, her own personal scarlet letters. He hummed, looking down at her with lustful eyes, fluttering between hers and the blood that pooled on her chest and trickled down her body to the wooden floor below.

She hated the feeling that bubbled in her chest as the pain subsided, now only a dull ache danced with the look he gave her, how he rubbed the tent made in his pants against her. No doubt, a mark had been left on her neck - his handprint, a reminder. The world felt silent at this moment, when she should've pushed him off.

Selfishness. Prioritizing that small ache he gave her over what she should be doing. Finding anything to act as a weapon against him.

But she didn’t, not as his head lowered and she was greeted with his perfectly slicked back hair, shaking hands reaching to play with a strand. A soft grumble came from his throat, tongue lapping at the blood that trickled down the valley of her chest, tasting what he had drawn out of her.

“What are you doing-?” Her voice was soft, he barely heard it over the ringing in his ears. Too long had he been subjected to resorting to his hand when he thought about her, or messing up his silk pillowcases with his pretty ropes when she teased him over the radio. He had her under him, he wasn’t going to let her go now.

“Shh.” His voice was more scolding then he meant it to be, his tongue traveling from the blood he lapped at down to her budding nipple. He wasn’t gentle, and why should he be? After everything she had messed up for him, he felt it justified to bite down on her pretty flesh, pulling at the bud as much as he wanted.

He relished in the pretty, pained moans that fell from her lips, how her back arched into it. Two sides of the same coin, both reveling in whatever pain was brought to them.

The Deputy’s head tilted back, allowing him a chance to latch onto her neck as a vampire would, smearing the blood on his lips all over her pretty skin. He bit, marking her with his teeth over the forming bruises from his handprint. His hands, decorated in the crimson from his hold on the tattoo gun traveled down her body, painting her in her own red.

He slipped his hand below the rough fabric of her jeans, being met with a contrast, soft and delicate and slightly damp. A soft grumble left his lips at the feeling; which were still pressed against her pretty neck. He felt the way her breath hitched as he ran digits over her most delicate areas. Being so close to her neck, he felt how her muscles tightened and how her breath hitched in her throat.

Lifting her hips to meet his tattooed fingers, a small admission of need. She bit her bottom lip to suppress the noises that tempted to fall from her lips - not wanting to give him the satisfaction. They were still enemies, still rivals, at least to her. 

John on the other hand seemed to be on cloud nine, relishing in how she moved against his hand, grinding herself through the fabric of her underwear. He bit down once more, slipping her out of her jeans and grabbing her hips, sitting up and pressing his pelvis against hers.

“John- John cmon…” Head thrown back, panting as she grabbed at the blue silk of his top. He tilted his head down at her, a sadistic smirk playing on his features.

He always took what he wanted, no matter who it was, and the Deputy was no exception to this. To him, it was God's Grace that placed them both here, that gave him the opportunity to rut his hips against hers.

The bulge in his covered jeans met her underwear, fucking himself against her covered cunt. He leaned down overtop of her, panting against her ear. Hot breath on her neck, the sounds of his soft moans mixing with his heavy breaths, and of course his restricted cock grazing just over her clit every couple of thrusts, it was enough to make any girl's eyes roll back.

He stopped, only for a moment, but long enough for her to let out a needy whine, lifting her head to see what he was doing. Tattooed fingers worked the EG belt off, letting his pants pool at his ankles. He wasted no time once they were off, underwear meeting underwear as the outline of his dick was much more pronounced.

“Fuck fuck, put your head back. Fucking-… good girl.” He groaned out, one hand leaving her hips and grabbing at her pretty hair, pulling her head back against the cold wooden floor of the church. She ached, head pounding and echoing from the injuries earlier - but the feeling of him fucking himself against her needy cunt kept her grounded.

In this moment, she needed him, needed this feeling to not pass out.

He tilted his own head back, sweat casting a slick sheen over his skin. A hand dipped against the drying blood on her chest, gathering what he could over his fingertips before bringing them to his lips, sucking on the bloodied digits. He groaned around his fingers, muffling the moans that threatened to fall.

The head of his cock strained against the blue fabric of his boxers, hips thrusting sloppily against her as his hand tightened on her hips, leaving pretty marks in his wake. One thrust, another thrust, and finally another before white pooled at the head, spurting out of the tiny holes in his underwear.

Panting, he finally moved his fingers out of his mouth, cleaned off the blood and tilted his head down at her almost mockingly; he got to finish, the cum that leaked from his underwear dripping down onto hers, and she didn’t get to. He relished in that, that power he had over her.

“H-hey! Not fair!”

“Oh, Deputy. Come here, maybe I’ll let you get off.”

He grinned as he stood up, fixing himself before moving back onto one of the pews, watching her scramble over to him. He had her eating out of the palm of his hand as she kneeled in front of him. Her head pounded harder, eyes a little woozy.

“Poor baby, rest your head, sweetheart.” He teased, a sadistic grin on his face as she nodded and rested against his thigh, looking up at him with those pretty eyes of hers. He couldn’t help himself, not if she looked so pretty right there in his grasp. 

He tangled his fingers in her hair, watching her confused expression as he moved the blue fabric off of his legs, dick springing up as it was freed from the confinement of his underwear. Guiding her head over it, watching her part her pretty lips to suck on his leaking tip.

Milking his cock, swallowing the spurts of salty seed that spilled onto her tongue. She drained him for all he’s worth, looking up at him as he ran his fingers through her hair. He was soft and gentle in this moment, noises falling from his lips that told her how good she was doing. She shouldn’t be doing this, shouldn’t be sucking off John Seed of all people.

He grinned as he watched her, once he was satisfied with the way she suckled on him, he grabbed her chin and pulled her off of him. Guiding her up to her feet, he let her loom over him. She wasn’t intimidating like this, he didn’t know if it was because he had just fucked her over their clothes or because she was relying on him for an orgasm, but she seemed almost adorable.

His lips found her neck once more as she leaned against him, nuzzling her head into his shoulder. He forced her to stand, to spread her legs to allow his fingers to feel the now wet fabric of her panties. He hummed in satisfaction, moving them aside and tracing a finger over her slick folds.

A soft gasp left her lips, grabbing onto his shoulder and attempting to move back to look him in the eye. He grumbled, forcing her in that same position as he bit down on her neck, pushing a finger inside of her at the same time. He loved the moans that fell from her lips as he pumped a digit deeper inside of her.

Another finger stretched her out, deep enough to hit those nerves that made her legs tremble. She whined, shaking against him and propping herself up as he continued to pump in and out of her. He pulled away from her neck for only a moment, watching the way she buried her face against him and laughing softly.

He added one more finger before her legs fully began to tremble, grabbing onto his shoulder. Pumping more, fully reaching those nerves, which caused her to spasm around him, her orgasm flooding around his fingers. She rocked against him once or twice, chasing her high.

“Look at you, Deputy, needing me. Did I make you feel good? Use your words.”

[hannahssimblr]

“I do. You always look pretty. Every time I see you, I think that.”

With this, she bursts into a flood of fresh tears. “Oh God, you’re so nice.”

“Look, I know this isn’t helpful, probably, but if things were different, if I wasn’t leaving, then maybe… maybe things would have turned out another way. I know you don’t think much of yourself, but I think you’re a great person. You’re really sweet and sensitive and talented and you make me laugh, and from my point of view anyway, you light up every room you walk into. Whoever the next person is that gets to be with you is lucky.”

“But it won’t be you.” Her mouth is so down-turned at the edges that she looks almost cartoony. Those looks are one thing I will miss most about her. If I were lucky enough to know her for longer, I think I’d fill a hundred sketchbooks just drawing the expressive shapes of her face.

I simply shake my head, and my arms are outstretched and ready to catch her as she falls into them for another round of sobs. There’s nothing I can do. I learned this a long time ago. Sometimes all you can do is hold someone until they’re ready to be let go again. I’ve spent whole nights holding Ivy like this, and I’ll spend hours with Evie if it’s what she needs.

Into her hair, I murmur an admission I have never made to another person. “Leaving is going to be so horrible. Sometimes I can’t think too much about it. Like, I know I won’t be that far away, but it’s going to change everything. I have amazing friends here that will be so hard to leave behind. And my family, obviously. I have a sister who’s nine. Ivy. She’s in that stage where she’s obsessed with me. She wants to do everything I do… Jesus, it’s going to be rough. I’ve never lived away from home before. I don’t really know how to be a functioning adult who, like, pays electricity bills.”

“It will be hard at first, but then eventually it will be really good,” she sniffles. “You’ll meet all these cool new people and you’ll forget all about everyone here.”

“Is that your way of telling yourself that I’ll forget about you, too?”

“You will.” 

“I won’t. We’ll still be friends. I’m not great at keeping up with people, and I don’t use Facebook that much…”

“So you’re saying we’ll be friends, like, on a symbolic level, but we’ll never actually talk to each other ever again.”

I laugh. “Shut up and let me finish before you start getting cross with me. I’ll email you. Old school, like.”

“Hm. That will be nice, like sending letters.”

“Exactly.”

She squeezes me, and I squeeze her back, gazing down at her face, red nose and smudged makeup, and I still think she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in real life. “How are you doing?”

“Very badly.”

“Well, one day, you won’t care about me at all. And maybe when you go to college, in like a few months, a year, or after that, you’ll look back on this and think ‘oh, ew, I can’t believe that when I was seventeen, I liked that lanky guy with the weird accent. That was so embarrassing.’ And you’ll wonder why you ever cried over this at all.”

Her face becomes fierce, like she wants to be serious, but it’s hard not to smile when she sticks her lip out like that. If I was being stupider, I might like to push my thumb into that crease between her eyebrows. “You don’t have a weird accent.” She insists. “Well, okay, you do, but I like it. And there’s nobody on earth that’d be embarrassed to have ever liked you.” 

“Okay, Evie.” I chuckle. “Lets see how you feel in a year.”

“A year?”

“Yeah, one year from now, I’ll email you, like I will every single week, mind, and you’ll roll your eyes and think, ‘oh God, him again?’ I’d be willing to bet on it.”

“You underestimate my feelings.”

She overestimates them, more likely, because we’re young and stupid and that’s just what we do, but it’s fine. She’ll learn, like I did with Michelle and all the girls that came before her, that the things that feel raw and real in the moment, the people you swear you’ll spend your life loving and wanting and missing, you forget them in the end.  

We lapse into silence as the grasshoppers chirp in the long grass. The cleaner comes by to pick some of the rubbish nearby and makes small talk with me about various happenings at the festival. Ignoring Evie, firmly locked in my arms with her damp cheek against my chest.

When he finishes, and the rubbish is gone, and the music in the distance goes silent, it is just us and the insects and the blanket of dew, and the smell of lingering summer in the air. Evie shivers, and I draw back to look into her sad little face.

“Are you cold?”

“No.”

“I think you are.”

She smiles, and her teeth chatter. “If I say so, then you’ll make me go back to the tent.”

“We have to go back eventually, don’t we?” I take the opportunity to stretch out one of my legs, which is cramping. “What time is it?”

“Don’t care.”

“It’s got to be… I don’t know. You can see the sun rising a bit.”

“If we leave, then it’s over,” she whispers.

I murmur, “It’s over, anyway.”

Green eyes skim my face in one last pursuit of a truth they won’t find. And then she sighs with resignation. “You’re leaving.”

“Yeah, I’m going away.”

“It’s just sad.”

“Of course. For me too.” And I’m not sure there’s much left to say. “Come on. Let’s just end this day.”

She doesn’t protest. Climbing to our feet, we make our way back towards the campsite, hand in hand. Though she’s not my girlfriend and never will be, it feels good to pretend while I can.

It’s lights out in our circle, embers smouldering in a campfire that we missed, and someone’s, Joe’s, Kasper’s, snores float from their tent. Evie’s is wet with morning dew as I unzip it for her with the same chivalry as any man opening a door for a lady. She shuffles inside, and the moonlight shows up the goosebumps on her arms and legs. Claire is not inside, her shoes stacked neatly outside Shane’s tent instead.

Evie grabs my wrist before I zip her inside. “Do you want to come and stay with me?” She whispers. “We won’t do anything. I just think it’d be nicer than being alone.”

We will do something. I’ve been a teenage boy for long enough to know the score, and tempting as it is to have one final, movie-magic experience with her to round off the summer, I know it is different for her than it is for me.

I shake my head. “Not a good idea, Evie. Sorry. Goodnight.”

The last thing I see is the dismay on her face before I zip her inside the tent, and head for my own.

There is Jen, cocooned in her sleeping bag. She stirs as I fumble with my clothes.

“You’re back,” her voice cracks with sleep. I ignore her, as the anger I felt for her in the woods resurfaces with a vengeance. My heart thuds with the memory.

“What time is it?” she says, and again, I say nothing. I struggle into bed and turn my back to her.

“Jude?”

“Talk to me in the morning.” I whisper sharply, and I shut my eyes, willing away the heaviness of the day, and all the things I know are still to come. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

Corresponding LG Chapter

[celeste444spacey]

Hiii

Do u have any tips on manifesting appearance changes? For me it’s not that hard to manifest SP’s but when it comes to things that I can see like my appearance, money in my bank account, it’s so hard. I always find myself affirming to get.

Hi love!!!

Yes i have made a few posts on manifesting appreance changes, and maybe these may help???

See manifesting appearances and money is just like any other manifestation, but unfortunately with this one since it's pretty much more connected to your 3D, you get stuck on results, WHICH IS OKAY!!! but we need to work on that babe...

but one of THE best advices i can give you is

Walk like you are the hottest person on planet earth, cause guess what??? you are. Listen to edit audios, feeling like the baddest woman to exist. Do self care, live from the hot girl mindset. JUST FAKE IT OKAY??? U need to fake it for a bit to start feeling it. Start loving on yourself, become lowkey self obsessed a bit.

Money is the same. Realize it flows to the people that believe that money flows to them naturally. Just walk around KNOWING money flows to you naturally. Cause it does.

It's not the money you are seeking, you are seeking the privilege that comes from it. So just start living like a rich person. Again, i mean mindset wise. Get into that assumption of money just flowing to you to remove that barrier you may have in your mind associating money.

Start watching rich people tv shows (cause why not??? you should definitely watch gossip girl 🤭 also succession! ).

Browse fashion designer websites, going shopping, you don't have to buy but judge stuff like a rich person would. Look at some rich people shit and just judge it like you are a person who was born with the affinity to finer things in life.

It's all you baby don't let your damn stupid ass toddler mind ruin it for you, remember you control it.

AND KEEP PERSISTING. I PROMISE IT DOES WORK OUT JUST PERSIST.

YOU CAN DO IT!!! 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

[silviakundera]

I'm gonna need kunning palace to give me a lot of the main otp in the last episodes, we have 8 left (this is why I don't f*ck with this 40 ep rule because now that we're getting the main relationship the show is over and everything that came before was also necessary). I'm gonna need to see how deep JXN's love for him becomes, I know people are obsessed with dedicated ML but I enjoy otps where it's more equal and I love seeing a female lead protect and support her otp the way he does her, even if it takes a while like in ming lan she had completely reasonable issues and took a while to warm up to him but when she did she was 1000% in and showed just how much she loved him, I personally don't appreciate unbalanced relationships where it's just one party sacrificing and being a lot more dedicated no matter the genders.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS WARNING MAJOR SPOILERS

Hard to say, depends on how close they stay to the book. They've been quite faithful to the novel so far but at the point we are now is where I feel fairly confident that we're gonna diverge. Because in the novel the otp gets VERY dark before they get better. There's a reason why Xie Wei has been holding himself back & restraining his emotions. He's a whole mess of anxiety & PTSD and he has to work through his traumas. Both these characters have been a burningdog.gif meme and saying everything is just fiiiiiiiine but in the novel when they finally get alone on center stage together things get REAL because it's masks off. And underneath they are a whole mess.

imo the key to this pairing, and why we don't get a love confession from her until the very end, is what she thinks when she finally publically claims him (fittingly, she doesn't claim the lauded scholar but the unhinged figure that the public now finds monstrous):

Shen Zhiyi asked: "Ning Ning, do you know what kind of person he is?”

Jiang Xuening said, "I know."

This person forced her to kill in his previous life; even in this life, he still thought about taking her to die with him. He is definitely not a good person. How could she not know?

It can even be said that she knows better than anyone else. Because she has seen his truest and craziest side.

Shen Zhiyi asked again: "Do you like him?"

Jiang Xuening thought for a while and said, "I like him."

At this moment, Xie Wei's palm trembled slightly, but there seemed to be thousands of lights and shadows passing by in his mind, and finally there was nothing left, just staring at her blankly.

Yan Lin stood too far away, no one could see his blurred expression clearly.

Shen Zhiyi also didn't speak for a long time.

She didn't fully agree, she was afraid that her Ning Ning would be sad because of the wrong choice, but she couldn't stop her, and all her worries finally turned into one sentence: "Then you really know what you are doing now?"

Jiang Xuening smiled at her: "I understand."

And not only know what to do now, but also what to do in the future.

So calmly: "I want to marry him."

"..."

That night, he asked her once, but she didn't answer, so he never dared to ask again.

But now she says she wants to marry him. Xie Wei suddenly couldn't tell whether this was real or a dream: didn't she want to leave him and go find Zhang Zhe?

Jiang Xuening also saw that he didn't comprehend. "You are really, extremely smart, but you just don't like people."

Talking about love, this person is stupid to death.

I am too afraid of losing what I have, and I seem to think that what I have will eventually be lost, so I am paranoid, extreme, and I refuse to show weakness to others and say all those words.

Jiang Xuening felt that this person was too similar to her previous self.

There are some things that I don't understand, so I bash my head against it.

She blinked, with tears in her eyes, but took his hand, tiptoed to kiss his cool thin lips."

//

Part of the reason she feels so deeply for him is their deep down similarity, but the novel is Jiang Xuening's journey to love & accept herself, letting go of the pain & shame from the past. She doesn't reach this point until the end, where she recognizes and accepts her own darkness and thus his, and also believes it doesn't need to define their future. Everyone now thinks she is the saint and he's the sinner but she knows they are both.

The novel epilogue shows they are finding a peaceful life together, the urge to fight and claw at life and each other has finally passed. But though in the last 30% of the novel we get tons of couple-time, all the gestures of devotion are coming from him. She's not ready. I frankly have no idea how much the drama will change the last 30%, and it won't land the same cause I'm sure they have to tone down how scary the ML gets...but regardless I do think we won't get a confession until the last act.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

[kasagia]

Hello, can I ask for a one-shot where Cami is jealous of y/n because all the men she meets are always talking about her, but for her it gets worse when in her therapies with Klaus, he doesn't stop talking about y/n because he is in love/obsessed with her, he even shows her the drawings he made of y/n, and she in a jealous rage tells him that she loves him and that y/n is not as special as she thinks, which surprises klaus because of cami's attitude, and then rejects her because her heart only belongs to y/n.

What makes her so special?

Pairing: Klaus Mikaelson xO'Connell reader Summary: You have a gift of attracting any man to you. Everyone who meets you loves you. But the cup of bitterness is overflowing when, in front of Cami's eyes, Klaus begins to fall in love with you. And you do not remain indifferent to the courtship of your sister's handsome friend for long. The question is, can the two of you confess your true feelings to each other before jealous Cami messes things up between you and Klaus? Warning(s): Cami is a jealous backstabber, Klaus can't trust people, swearing is the order of the day, de@th mentioned but nothing terrible Word count: 4,8k

Camille O'Connell was trying not to regret anything she had done in her life.

It came out with better or worse successes, but this time an inner feeling of grief festering within her kept her from forgetting the biggest mistake she had made and regretted with all her heart.

Camille O'Connell regretted introducing Klaus Mikaelson to Y/N O'Connell.

Yes. Her younger, prettier, smarter, and more talented little sister.

It wasn't that Cami didn't like her own sister. She loved her, even though Y/N had become cold and distant to her family since their brother's death, although she never left Cami to her fate—she was always there when the blonde needed her.

But there was something about Y/N that drew men to her. Any guy who wouldn't stand in her way within five minutes was starting to fall in love with her.

And Cami hated that.

So she had no idea why she had the stupid idea of taking Klaus to the theater in New Orleans. I mean, she knew that, as his therapist, she wanted to "break the fear of the place where he lost everything." Clear the bad memory Mikael left behind. (She actually wanted to go on some sort of date with him, but hush huh.)

Thinking about it like that, she was really stupid to assume that Y/N wouldn't be in the play. She loved The Greatest Showman and would do anything to play a role in her favorite musical. Of course, with her talent and charm, she didn't have to try so hard. Cami should have anticipated this.

Just like how Klaus will take an interest in you as soon as he reads your last name.

"Y/N O'Connell, any family of yours?"

"My younger sister. She is an actress."

"Well, all the more reason for me to stay here and watch this bloody play, right?"

When Y/N took the stage, Klaus showed only a little of his interest. Beautiful, pretty face. He had seen many of them in his long life. But the next time he saw her, in a long white dress, she was in the middle of the stage with a soft smile. Then she has his full attention. And when she started singing in her angelic voice one of the most captivating songs he had ever heard? The guy was gone and never wanted to free himself from her spell.

And Camille saw that. Another loving gaze throwning by a man in your direction.

She felt jealous. Again.

Fortunately, as soon as Y/N disappeared from the scene, Klaus focused his attention on her.

Cami hoped it was just a fleeting fascination on Klaus' part.

But it wasn't.

As soon as the play was over, Klaus insisted she take him to her sister's so they could get to know each other properly.

Cami should have refused and gone home. But she agreed and took the hybrid backstage to Y/N's dressing room.

And that's how they met.

"Y/N? Are you there?" the woman asked, entering the room first and checking if they could come in. Her sister came out of the bathroom, changed into her usual everyday clothes.

"Oh! Hi, Cam. I didn't think you'd come here." hearing that captivating voice again made Klaus push past Cami and join the conversation with the most charming smile he has.

"It's my fault. Camille and I were watching a play and I couldn't just walk away without meeting her talented sister. Klaus Mikaelson. Camille's friend."

"Y/N. Her sister. Nice to meet you." Y/N politely held out her hand in greeting.

"Believe me, love, the pleasure is all mine." he said, never breaking eye contact with her as he kissed the back of her hand.

The blooming blush on her sister's cheeks and Klaus' widening smug smirk only fueled Cami's fire of jealousy even more.

But Y/N wasn't that easy to get. She refused to be charmed by his tricks and kept a certain distance between herself and the hybrid until the end of the conversation. Much to Klaus' displeasure and Cami's delight.

What Cami didn't realize was that her troubles with Y/N were only just beginning.

Leaving the theater, she hoped your frigidity had put Klaus off. But Cami should have known better and foreseen that your lack of interest will only attract the original hybrid more.

~•♤♤♤•~

It started innocently. Y/N used to come to the pub where Cami worked from time to time and made extra money by singing on stage. Usually her show would last an hour or two, she'd order one tequila from her, they'd talk for a while, and then they'd both go back to their lives. It was a good routine between them and the only form of contact they had.

But there was a real snitch in the pub that day. Cami and her colleague on shift couldn't keep up with serving drinks. So Y/N went behind the bar at their boss's request and helped as much as she could.

And that's how Klaus found her.

Cami noticed him as soon as he entered the bar, just as he noticed her sister. He immediately turned to her, his trademark seductive smirk on his face. What Cami would give for him to look at her the way he looked at your unaware figure...

She tried to get as close to you two as possible to eavesdrop on your conversation.

"I come here every night, and I haven't seen you here before... are you stalking me, love?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm not attracted to alcoholics. Besides, I dare say I've worked here longer than you've even lived here."

"Believe me on my word: you are wrong. So? What are your other hidden talents, woman of many abilities?"

"Deterring intrusive men. Although lately I don't seem to be very good at it. Are you ordering something, or are you just here to vent your sorrows to the bartender?"

"Your best bourbon, love." he said, placing two hundred dollars on the table. Y/N took one bill, turning it over in her hands and eyeing it suspiciously. "Something wrong, love? You're not accusing me of counterfeiting money, are you?"

"So a rich alcoholic? Man, you must either have a good liver or you must be incredibly lucky in your stupidity."

"Now, now, your assumptions are hurting me. Just because I'm here often doesn't mean I drink alcohol every time. Like you."

"Well, if you say so." she poured him a drink, smiling as Klaus drank it down like orange juice. "But only the battle-hardened are able to swallow this damn thing without flinching. Your actions speak against you, Mr. Mikaelson."

"I plead guilty to a little lie. But trust me love, I'm not as easy to read as you think."

"And who said I want to read you?"

"Your sparkling curiosity in those delightfully beautiful eyes."

"A few compliments and smirks are not something particularly worthy of interest. Now excuse me, I'm working."

Cami was so proud of you. You didn't fall for his sweet words. However, her joy was short-lived, as the night progressed and the pub filled up even more, Klaus somehow ended up as your sidekick.

Klaus Mikaelson, the original hybrid, the slayer of vampires, witches, and werewolves, a guy who probably in his long, 1000-year life has not soiled his hands with any work not related to maintaining his reputation, flew around the bar and collected empty glasses, just to stay longer in your presence.

Cami was shocked. You, on the other hand, looked like you were slowly warming up to him.

Cami was getting used to sharing Klaus' attention with you.

When he came to talk to her in the pub, it was often during the hours when you had your performance. He would wave to you, causing you minor reactions (turning your eyes, gently shaking your head in disapproval that he disrupts your concentration, and on good days you put a small dormitory towards him, which he loved).

After the performance, you would join them at the bar and thus stole all the interest of the hybrid. Cami couldn't blame you. You tried awkwardly to float Klaus and talk to her, but the hybrid did not give it easily. That is why there was a quiet compromise between you. You would sit a moment after the performance at the table occupied by Klaus, drank his bourbon with him, and joined Cami for a while to say goodbye to her.

The blonde hated this terrible feeling of jealousy, which was created every time you laughed at Klaus' jokes in the farthest corner of the pub, underestimating the loving look he gave you.

How much she would give to have a gift like her sister! Everyone adored her, she could easily charm anyone with whom she changed a few words. And this time Y/N was taking from her Klaus slowly.

And as long as Klaus stayed her friend, Cami would be fine with this. Really. But one session at the Mikaelson House completely changed the dynamics of Klaus' relationship with O'Connell's sisters.

~•♤♤♤•~

"Rebekah told me you are making progress. You haven't tried to use a dagger on any of them for two months. Congratulations!" she praised him, walking around his studio and looking at his latest works (with relief that he had not yet painted Y/N.)

"It's easy to refrain when they don't want to reveal me at every opportunity." he muttered from his sketchbook.

Camille watched him with interest. Lately, he's been carrying it everywhere with him. Every time he came to the pub, he would sit in the corner in his usual place and persistently sketch something. In his free time, that is, whenever they had sessions together, he also held it on his lap, persistently drawing something in it.

He's been happier lately, too. He didn't look like the grumpy, paranoid one who had forced her to write his life story. It seemed to change over time. Maybe it was the time he spent with his little daughter that affected him so much?

Cami decided not to bring up the subject of Hope for now and ask something more delicate. For example, the contents of his sketchbook.

"What are you drawing there?"

"You should know better than to ask about an artist's work when he hasn't finished his yet, but I would like to hear your opinion about this one."

Cami's heart fluttered involuntarily. It was the first time since his meeting with Y/N that he really focused on her instead of her sister (and she was glad that her opinion mattered to him more than Y/N's). She smiled as she accepted the sketchbook from him, only for it to collapse as she saw the exact portrait of the one person she hoped not to hear about from him in today's session.

Y/N. Y/N in her fucking white dress and singing on stage. He drew the moment when Cami completely lost any chance of being with Klaus. And her sister looked even more perfect than usual.

"And what do you think about it? I wanted to give it to her with some small gift for our first official date. It took her a week to admit that our trips out of town and meetings crossed the line of friendship. You have no idea how long it took me to convince her. At one point, Rebekah was so annoyed by my pleas for help that she was willing to go to Y/N herself and invite her on my behalf. I almost broke her neck trying to talk her out of it. But still, she's my sister, and she helped me set everything up for tonight, it'll be perfect. Y/N will love..."

"Okay, that's enough!" Cami couldn't help but scream at him in anger. "I get it. You're so blinded by her damn charm that you can't see the world outside of her. All right. But I'm not going to listen to this crap about how great and wonderful she is and how she deserves the best because, believe me... she doesn't. I'm not even sure she deserves a scrap of your attention, let alone your adoration! You may think Y/N is an angel, but that's just a facade, Klaus. She's a mean, cruel manipulator, and she's definitely not worth anything you want to give her."

"How can you say that about her?"

"Because I know her! She's not the special muse you think she is or some saintly person. She's a mean, heartless bitch who changes her boyfriend every week. Do you think her feelings for you are real?! That she could love you like I do?!"

"I won't listen to these..." the man stopped, processing his therapist's words in pure surprise. "You love me?"

"Yes. Yes, I love you. And I can't watch you entangle yourself in her web like other men and women before you. She is incapable of any affection, Klaus, not for her own family and certainly not for a stranger. You deserve someone better than her."

"Like who? You?" he asked mockingly, pacing the room angrily.

"I know you're hurt, Klaus, but you have to face the truth. Y/N will never accept your past. She won't take it well that you're a thousand-year-old werewolf/vampire hybrid. She won't handle as many skeletons as you have in your closet. She will not face all your enemies. She won't love you like I do."

"Camille." hope rose in the woman as the original rubbed closer to her. However, he did so only to grab her by the neck and pin her against the wall, cutting off most of her air. She had seen his angry, crazy look many times. But it was never directed at her. She was terrified. "Get. Out. Of. Here. Before I do something terrible and ruin all my chances of being with Y/N. Get out of here before I tear out that miserable, jealous heart beating in your chest for trying to make me feel any doubt about the sincerity of my relationship with your sister. Get out of here while I can still control myself." he growled into her face, releasing her and walking away from her with his fists clenched in anger. Cami looked at him, scared, like a deer at a wolf, trying to assess what she could say or do before she left the room. She took one hesitant step toward the door when Klaus' cold, furious voice stopped her in place. "And Camille! If I hear such slander about Y/N one more time, I will make sure that your supposed love for me disappears with you from the face of the earth. Do we understand each other?"

"You don't know everything about her. Like why we're so cold for each other. Did she ever tell you what she did when our uncle Kieran was dying? Do you remember that day? When you helped me and him get through this, she did everything in her power to make him suffer in his last hours. You know, what was her last word to him? You made yourself that bed. Have a nice nap. She didn't care either about him or me. She left the funeral on my head and didn't even bother to come. If you don't believe me, ask her is that true. You'll know then, why I'm warning you about her."

"I don't need to test the one that holds my heart. Apparently, she must have had some reason to hate your uncle."

"Of course, but maybe you should test her. Despite the weeks you've spent clinging to your hips, you don't really know her." they looked at each other with hard, wounded eyes. Klaus couldn't believe that his friend was capable of such an act of jealousy, and Cami couldn't believe that after so many months spent together, he would just throw her out of his life.

"Goodbye, Camille. As you can guess, you're not welcome here anymore. I wish you happy."

"Me too, to you. You could find it with me." she replied bitterly, leaving the room after giving him one last disappointed, hurt look.

But Cami wasn't about to grieve or let Klaus go yet.

Because if Cami knew something, it was how to make Klaus doubt the pure, good intentions of others. Honestly, he didn't need much pushing. He was completely capable of doing it himself. Especially to distrust in his loved ones, and that was what her sister hated the most. It was only a matter of time before these two would get into a big argument and, for good, lose interest in each other.

Klaus will be hers. She will make sure of it.

Even if it means hurting her own sister.

~•♤♤♤•~

Y/N's POV

I've been waiting on the bridge for 15 minutes. I was starting to get a little nervous that Nik had changed his mind or had a car accident (he was driving like a madman, not caring for his life at all). However, I decided to hold back my paranoid black thoughts and wait five more minutes for him before it officially became clear that he had stood me up.

As I was about to leave, my phone buzzed. I glanced at the notification. A text from Cami. Strange. She has never texted me since THAT day. Before I could open the message, however, a familiar voice distracted me from the device.

"Hello love."

"Hi there! I thought you weren't coming, which would be weird since you wanted to go on a date with me so badly that you were able to... Okay, what happened? You look terrible. Are you okay, Nik?" I asked as I turned to him and noticed the obvious worry on his face.

"Not a very nice way to greet your date, love. By the way, you look beautiful too."

"Don't even joke; something is wrong. I see it. What happened? Do you want to go somewhere and talk about it? We can reschedule this date for another day if you're not feeling well."

"No. God knows when you will accept it again."

"You can joke around and pretend to be confident all you want, but I can see you're tense and nervous."

"Where does such a deduction come from, my personal Sherlock?"

"Very funny, Watson. First of all, you ran your hand through your hair too many times, so now they look messier than usual. You forgot to take your leather jacket, which is like a second skin for you, so you must be hurrying, which means that something happened if you forgot about our meeting or you were so lost in thought that you forgot to look at your watch and you were rushing here like crazy without even glancing at the mirror."

"What made you think I hadn't looked in the mirror?" I smiled, stepping closer to him, causing him even more consternation. I slowly brought my thumb to my lips and licked my fingertip to wipe a large blue stain from his cheek.

"Because most of your face and part of your hair are covered in all of the colors of paint." I burst out laughing, watching his eyes widen in disbelief and a faint shade of red creep into his cheeks. Aww... he gets ashamed. "But do not worry. I think you look cute."

"I'm not cute." he muttered, wrinkling his nose like an offended little child. I snorted, wrapping my arm around his and guiding him towards my apartment. I don't think either of us wanted a big date right now.

"Of course. You are a huge, dangerous puppy."

"Are we at the stage of making up nicknames for ourselves? You must be really obsessed with me by now."

"Are you trying to get out of the conversation about what happened by using that ineffective way to flirt?"

"I don't know, love. Am I? Besides, are you trying to kidnap me or…"

"We're going to my home. And no, I'm not gonna drag you to my bedroom, couch, shower, or wherever your dirty mind wanted."

"Aside from your explicit suggestion of my indecency, I should be offended that you think that my dirty mind needs such a thing as a bed or couch."

"Honestly, I'm not even a bit surprised." I sighed, smiling slightly as his soft chuckle reached my ears.

"Which just proves how well you know me and care about every little detail that concerns me. Just admit that you love me."

"You first, sweetheart."

My mischievous smirk didn't go unanswered. The hybrid gave me an equally defiant, teasing look, staring at me silently. I shook my head, laughing, as I opened the door to the stairwell and let him go through them first.

"Last chance to back out before I know where you live."

"Well, you stalk me anyway." he snorted, leaning against the wall near my apartment door and looking around my floor.

"Any nosy neighbors who will gossip about you bringing the boy home?"

"You've been watching too many romantic comedies. Answering your question, no. One apartment has been empty for a year, and one couple is away on honeymoon. You can scream for help and no one will hear you. The closest neighbors are deaf retirees."

"Then I seriously doubt if it is safe for me to enter this house."

"Don't be such a jerk and come in before I change my mind."

"After such an invitation? With pleasure, love." he sneered, with that goofy smirk of his, walking inside like he owned this place.

"Once you've looked around, you can use the bathroom. First door on the left. And don't you dare go through my stuff!"

"Who do you think I am, darling?" I raised an eyebrow questioningly. I took a breath to give him a full answer, but he beat me to it. "All right. Don't answer this question. I'll be right back."

I was grining like a fool to myself as I prepared some snacks and drinks for movie night. The prospect of cuddling up to a man while watching some stupid film seemed like a nice end to the day. With any luck, he might have admitted what had so disturbed him earlier.

That was until I remembered the unread text from Cami.

Klaus is the original (first ever) hybrid of vampire and werewolf; watch out for him and do not invite him home under any circumstances. We had a fight a while ago, and I don't want you to get hurt because of me. Call me as soon as you can, Cami.

I stared blankly at the message. Of course, the first guy I really liked had to be a fucking vampire—one of the creatures that caused my brother's death.

"Are you okay, love?" I turned to him. He somehow managed to wash off all the paint, leaving only the wet ends of his curly hair. He still looked cute with that caring look of his on me. Stop. I couldn't fall for a vampire. Never. Not after what they did to my family.

"You know, Cami texted me." his suddenly tense, flustered demeanor told me all I needed to know. "Is there something you wanted to tell me?"

"Y/N..." he tried to take a step towards me, but I moved away from him so that we were separated by the couch.

"No! Stay right there!" I shouted, raising my hand in protection to knock any stupid idea out of his head. His disappointed, sad face made me feel unfounded guilt. "Listen, I don't want to know what's going on between you and my sister..."

"There's nothing. She was my therapist, but after today…"

"I don't care! Just let me and her stay out of this supernatural world, please. I lost one sibling because of your stupid war with witches, in which my uncle was involved. I don't want to lose another member of my family, because some vampires don't like that they don't have enough power in this town, Klaus. So please just leave me alone before it would be too hard for both of us to forget about each other."

"That's it? You want to put an end to whatever is going on between us before it even begins?"

"What exactly are the odds that an immortal vampire and a mortal who hates supernatural creatures of any kind will make a good match?"

"Somehow it didn't matter until now. And it wouldn't have if you hadn't found out about it like this."

'"The fact that you say something like that only proves that I'm right. I'm not going to change my beliefs and risk my life and my sister's life just because you're annoyingly handsome. Whatever could be between us, it's doomed to failure."'

"Why? Why are you so afraid of being with me? And why would I ever hurt you or Camille?"

"Cami didn't tell you? Since you were so close to her, you probably know what happened to our brother and how my dear uncle, witches, and vampires contributed to it. Or maybe you forced her to be your therapist, you're not really friends at all, and you were just using her all this time? Am I right?"

"Partly." I snorted, shaking my head in disbelief. How could I have been so stupid? "No! Y/N, just give me ten minutes! That's all. Ten minutes and you can tell me to go to hell, and I will obey your every order."

"It won't change anything anyway."

"I think I've proven many times that I can change your mind. Just give me a chance."

"Why do you even want to keep me around? I'm just an ordinary human; I don't have any special powers or anything else you might find useful. Why would you go through so much trouble?"

"You're everything but ordinary. You caught my attention the first time I saw you, and when I heard how you sang, I knew I fell for you instantly like a foolish teenager. But when I talked to you for the first time, I knew you were the one for me. I gave you my heart on that day, and with every passing hour near you, it only confirmed my belief that it will always belong to you." he walked around the couch, standing in front of me and staring at me with those mesmerizing eyes of his, filled with sincere, deep devotion. How in the bloody hell was I supposed to resist him?

"Klaus..."

"Hush, huh. I still have 6 minutes, love. You're special to me and I love..."

"I'm not perfect, Klaus. I've done a lot of stupid, horrible things in my life that you have no idea about. You can't just stand here and say you love me when you don't know me at all."

"I don't care who you used to be or what you did in the past. What matters is what is here and now. And right now..." he grabbed my hand, bringing it close to his chest and the frantically beating heart that was probably beating as fast as mine. "I know that there is no other person that I want to be with more than you. There is no other person on this earth who can understand me and bring me such comfort as I find in your arms whenever I come to you. Despite our differences, we all belong to each other. And I know that you can feel it as I do. I throw the power. I don't want to rule New Orleans if that means I'm going to lose you. I just… I just want you to be okay."

I looked at him carefully, trying to detect any hint of falsehood in his words, but I couldn't find anything against him in his eyes or in his determined facial expression. If he was desperate enough to keep me by his side, even at the cost of abandoning his rule of New Orleans, then maybe he really cared about me?

"Is that another way of saying you love me?"

"Is that another way of saying I changed your mind?"

"I will never become a vampire. You know about it?"

"You didn't want anything to do with me 10 minutes ago. I think you can still change your mind."

"As confident as always." I murmured, pulling him into our first, long-awaited kiss. And I hoped, the first of many more.

He was right. There were no other arms, no other lips, and no other touch that I wanted to feel than his. And as much as I feared and how wrong it was to get involved with a vampire after my brother died in the crossfire of this city's power war, I felt there was no place in the world other than his arms where I could feel so right, like I always belonged there.

And I think we both knew I'd end up being a vampire anyway. He would do anything to convince me. And it probably wouldn't take him that long. After all, he was very special.

[scruffyssketchbook]

RAMBLES OF A VERY TIRED AUTHOR CHAN #I lost track bro

Kind of random post, sorry!!! Might delete later 😋 idk

I originally said here that this wasn’t a vent post but it might be one after all oops. (I’m sorry I’m an over-sharer and this is my ramble blog.)

(Trigger Warning- grooming? Pedo behavior?)

So I think I mentioned this here before (like years before, idk), but there is this guy who has been stalking me for forever now or whatever. Like, he’s basically the reason I don’t accept friend requests from people I don’t know on Discord and made it so only friends can message me, cause this man would pretend to be other people to talk to me. Anyways, on one of his MANY alts that he uses to send messages to me, he basically admitted to grooming me in the Pedo way when I was a minor!!! Fun 🥰🥰🥰🥰 (this is sarcasm)

But like, that literally explains SO MUCH OF THE THINGS IN SSEC, LIKE WHAT????

Like obviously I am not going in detail of the things that were in SSEC cause it makes me uncomfortable, but it does explain a lot of it, and seeing how afterwards I proceeded to get groomed by 2 other people back to back to BACK, LIKE. For one thing

I definitely feel like the tonal shift in the series was due to all of these events. Of course, I’m not going to get into every bad thing that happened to me due to being a naive girl making a stupid pokemon webcomic (sadly it’s a lot lol), but like, I didn’t even realize that I was groomed by multiple people until I was in my 20’s. (I mean, I am in my 20’s right now, but you know) and I literally was not aware that stalker man was being a pedo towards me when I was a minor until he admitted to me that he was being one- RECENTLY.

I do feel like how SSEC ultimately turned out was due to all of this. For the longest time, I was just surrounded by a lot of negativity. And, I kind of just kind of have the natural inclination to help people or be kind to people, and that ultimately just caused people to see that and use me over and over and over again, causing both the tonal shift in SSEC as well as me closing myself more and more off to people, which- really sucks honestly. (And only now I realize that that is literally the same thing that happened to Vay, wtf)

Like- I want friends. Nothing Romantic, no strings attached, no weird power dynamics, just PLATONIC friends. But I’m extremely shy and awkward, and ofc, extremely closed off ^^;;; So it’s pretty hard for that to happen, I guess.

But I suppose that is why I like/obsess about Box 31 so much.

Box 31 is basically just wish fulfillment for me.

Because, like. The only thing I’ve ever really wanted, the thing I have been looking for, for years, are friends. And, the whole story of box 31 are outcasts making friends, and supporting each other, and growing together, and that makes me very very happy.

Living vicariously through my characters!!! I want them to be happy, I want them to smile, I want others to smile too!!! I don’t want to keep drawing sad things, yeah I like drama, there will be drama in Box 31, but in ssec it’s just so endless. I always wanted the characters to be happy at the end, but where is that end if there is an endless sea of issues?

Idk. I just remember me being freshly 18, crying on the ground (cringe ik) to my way older roommate that I just wanted friends, and I wonder if things would have been better if someone just took my hand and became the friend I needed at the time instead of me becoming totally isolated and the stalker using that to get closer to me.

Idk 😋 as I said, might delete later 😋 just kinda a bit cringe lmao

I just wanna keep drawing my Stupid Silly Eeveelutions~ la la laa

Oh. Speaking of that actually.

[luxlightly]

"Why have people from other largely white countries been so weirdly obsessed with insulting harmless American stuff lately? We've done way worse stuff and yet there's a wave of people insulting harmless or even positive things like 'overly friendly'. Why are people doing things like taking videos of saying there's no fresh baked bread in the bread isle at walmart while blatantly ignoring the bakery section then saying there's no 'real' bread in America?" It's because they're being outed as doing the worse stuff and they desperately want to hold on to their sense of superiority to ignore their own systematic issues. That's the long and short of it. Now I'm sure not every single person is doing it for that reason but that's where the shift happened. For years, especially during the Trump presidency, we were getting constant "Those racist Americans! They're all fascists!" pretty hard from places like England, Canada, and other largely white countries. "We can't be racist! Just look at America! We're not them so we can't have a rising fascism problem!" was the go-to excuse to dismiss any concerns about issues of fascism, racism, etc. Then, rapid fire, we started seeing things like the discovery of the atrocities in indigenous schools Canada. The Tories making a mess of English government. The refusal of England to allow Scotland to pass an lgbtq equality bill. More and more vocal fascist movements. "We're not racist and stupid like America!" stopped being an easy way to maintain a sense of superiority and lack of accountability very quickly. And Americans, especially in online spaces have largely become aware and heavily critical of these problems in our own country. When people pull out the "Well maybe there's something wrong in my country but Americans are so racist!" the response is often "Yeah it's a real issue here. It makes me very worried for the future of our country". Which doesn't fit the "All Americans are so stupid and ignorant and will get violently angry to defend their prejudiced beliefs and that's why the problems there could never happen here" stereotype that's been used to avoid introspection about their own ingrained problematic ideas. So it's shifted to things that are benign enough that most Americans will actually say "Hey that's not really fair. I'm not sure why you're upset about that." Or that are just blatantly untrue but enforce the stereotype about Americans being stupid and culture-less. It a form of "Whataboutism" and it's done all the time here in America, too. Realize the exact problems you criticized the middle east is rampant here, too? "Well...their food is weird, right?? And what's with the way they...dress? Their culture is so ignorant and off-putting!"

[blue-rose-soul]

Well, hello!

First of all, I would like to tell you that your publications are very interesting, fun and inspiring, I really like the concepts and AU's that you share here.

So, my question is, how different are Vox's..."feelings" or thoughts towards Alastor between "The Devil's Bastard AU" and "Raised Together AU"?, since clearly in one case he later finds out Alastor is Lucifer's son, while in the other he knows it from the beginning, so there are probably differences with the canon.

I mean, from what I've seen here, I think you mentioned that Vox is still obsessed with him, but if you could elaborate a little more on the scope of those complicated feelings I would really appreciate it.

By the way, have a nice day :)

I actually had to go back and reread some of my old posts, because I needed a little refresher on everything I'd already written about Alastor and Vox. For the main Devil's Bastard AU, I would say that Vox's feelings upon learning about Alastor's secret are a mix of shock, fury, and horror. It doesn't really occur to him that Alastor himself didn't know that Lucifer was his father. Vox's first thought is that of course Alastor knew, he just kept it a secret so he could build himself up as a self-made man while secretly being a nepotism Overlord and a hypocrite.

It's one of those things he and Alastor often fought about, right before their friendship dissolved. Alastor coming from a poorer background and being a member of multiple marginalized communities during the days of Jim Crow laws, while Vox was a white, presumably wealthy cult leader who preyed on the disenfranchised, they had wildly different views on things such as class and wealth inequality. So when it comes out that Alastor is Lucifer's son, Vox comes to believe that Alastor was talking out of his ass during every one of those arguments.

At the same time, Vox is seething over the missed opportunity to have someone with Morningstar blood on his side. The royal family isn't well respected (except maybe Lilith, but it's hard to say definitively) but they are undoubtedly powerful. That's why the Vees were so nervous about Alastor making a deal with Charlie. Vox tells himself that if he had known, he would have fought harder to get Alastor either as a business partner or on the end of his chain.

He's right. In the Raised Together AU where Vox knew from the get go who Alastor was, Vox approached him with that knowledge in mind. His friendship with Alastor had a less organic beginning, as he had ulterior motives towards Alastor. However, I do think that he did develop real feelings for Alastor over time. Not necessarily healthy ones, mind you, but real nonetheless. I'm fond of the interpretation that Alastor was Vox's bi awakening and that the two of them had a genuine friendship before whatever incident lead to them becoming bitter rivals. There's also the implication that Alastor may have played a part in Vox's rise to overlord status.

Now, Alastor isn't stupid. He's aware that many of the demons who approach him are looking to improve their social standing. He was less open to Vox in the beginning, but Vox's charisma and honed people-skills did eventually get him into Alastor's good graces, and as Vox's feelings developed, Alastor's walls came down to the point that he willing to call Vox a true friend.

However, Vox didn't let his emotions get in the way of his ambition. If anything, he only became more determined to tie Alastor to him. He started trying to drive a wedge between Alastor and Charlie, encouraging Alastor's worse habits and more ruthless side. He tried appealing to Alastor's ego by saying how the two of them were above the common Sinners and with their powers combined they could control the entire Ring of Pride and blah blah blah. He proposed his alliance and, well...

Like I said. Alastor isn't stupid. He'd been fully aware that Vox had been trying to manipulate him for some time by then, but he valued their friendship enough to try to maintain it and arrogant enough to think he could do this while evading Vox's manipulation attempts. And, well, it wasn't like he didn't also use Vox, to an extent. Bridging the gap between himself and the Overlords, getting an in to their meetings and a direct line to some of the technological and social advances taking place in Hell. As long as it was reciprocal, it was fine. But when he turned down Vox's proposal, Vox exploded.

It didn't turn into full on physical fight, not because they weren't willing to hurt each other, but because Vox had enough self-control to remind himself that attacking Lucifer's son might not be the best idea. But their friendship did end messily in that moment, even without the bloodshed. Afterwards, Vox had to tread carefully around Alastor so although their rivalry still exists, it's not quite as public. What he didn't know was that Alastor actually prevented Lucifer from doing anything to Vox after their falling out. Later when asked, Alastor will say that Vox had only ever used him and never actually cared for Alastor, but he won't speak a word on his own feelings about what happened.

[fractiflos]

For the fairy tale ask game: All for One as Rumpelstiltskin would be fun please! I always did feel that the original fairy tale never adequately explained why Rumpelstiltskin wanted to steal a baby. With All for One's canon childnapping tendencies there could be many reasons, so I will leave it completely open for you to decide who he wants to kidnap. Izuku, Tomura, Touya, and maybe even Yoichi would be logical choices but you could also go further afield.

I love giving backstory to things!

When the Shigaraki's were 3 someone saw baby Yoichi, took him, and adopted him while AFO was out getting food. Ever since then, he's become obsessed with getting his brother back by trying to steal other white-haired babies. Unfortunately, he either fails, or there's something about them that makes him give them back.

Meanwhile, Yoichi married Kudo and now they're going to have a baby. But they are poor and need to find a way to make money. Luckily, in this world of magic, Yoichi can turn straw into gold. Unfortunately, greedy king Destro hears of this and locks Yoichi up in a tower and demands that he spin all the straw in that room to gold or be executed.

AFO heard about a white-haired guy locked in a tower with a baby on the way and thought "I can exploit that." So, he sneaks in and offers to use his own magic to spin the ridiculous amount of straw in that room to gold, in exchange for the red beaded necklace. (It's been 20 years since Yoichi was taken, so they don't recognize each other and AFO's been fooled before by other people who just happen to have the same name as his brother) Yoichi is reluctant to give up a gift from Kudo but agrees and voila, the straw is turned to gold. The next morning Yoichi is locked into a bigger room of straw and told to do it again. This time AFO does it in exchange for Yoichi's wedding ring. He is even more reluctant this time, but eventually gives in. On the third day, he is put into an even bigger room but when AFO comes by, he has nothing else to give. So, AFO suggests he gives him his first-born child. He argues, but is desperate to see his lover, and thinks that maybe he can convince him otherwise when payment time comes around.

As he's being shuffled to a new room, Yoichi escapes and he and Kudo go to a new kingdom ruled by king All Might, who grants them asylum. But eventually, their child is born. A white-haired boy who they don't have time to name before AFO comes by. Yoichi tries everything, but he insists on taking the child, before saying that if Yoichi can guess his real name in 3 days, he'll leave them alone.

Yoichi wanders the woods in despair when he comes across a small campsite and hears AFO bragging to himself by a fire. "Ha, my plan is almost complete. This one is him for sure. That stupid man just needs to get my name wrong for one last day. I mean, who could ever guess that my real name is Allforone" So on the third day, Yoichi gives a few more guesses before he just happens to guess Allforone. He gets so angry at the loss that he loses control of his magic and stomps his feet so hard, he opens up a chasm and falls into it, never to be seen again.

This was a fun one, especially with AFO's monologuing tendencies. I left the identity of the baby ambiguous, because it could be fun for it to be Izuku, but have we considered red-eyed, white curly-haired Tomura as the Kudoichi secret lovechild? Although AFO would throw him out once he sees the red eyes.

[lorddeathofmurdermountain]

So I just finished Dungeon Meshi. The manga.

I am yet again blown away by the amazing story. I am also blown away by the fanfiction fandom and it's incessant need to ship anyone and everyone. I get it. You think some of the interaction are romantic. They aren't. That's not what any of this is meant to be. But I get it. Romance ships have their own place in the ecosystem and any healthy community has a dedicated group that really likes to ship anyone and everyone.

It becomes less healthy when I go to AO3 and you can go through pages and pages only finding like two or three fics that aren't ENTIRELY "Two random characters have the sex" with occasional romantic undertones. Of those three that aren't just that, two are instead "cleverly crafted AU but the focus is still on the secks". People I get it, it's nice, it's got, and by god everyone is horny for the Faligon x Marcille ship. I get it, I do.

But the story has so many interesting aspects to it! I'd go as far as to say it's a modern day Lord of the Rings! I really fucking would, and I love LotR like no other story on this fucking planet! I'm barely holding back from gushing about it right fucking now. I'm taking deep breaths.

Look, my point is, it's an amazing story about friendship and genuine camaraderie, the sort of thing that sends the message of "people can forget extremely strong bonds without having the hots for one another." The story, beyond it's generally tasteful comedy and the repetitive but reliable skits, is chock-full of meaningful messages, pondering and it has some of the most beautiful and tasteful conclusions to story arcs I've seen in a while! I'd go so far as to say it's fairly innovative as well, not unheard of but you don't see something this good all that often. You really don't. I usually obsess over just sticking FromSoft protagonists into everything to have them fuck around and mess with everything but for once I'm genuinely unappreciative of the idea. The conclusion to the story is perfect if very traditional in a certain sense and all in all it's got very few real flaws. In the end, a very simple, kind and good lad alongside his party of misfits saves the day and everyone gets to live happily ever after.

So why the shit is almost everyone only ever thinking about hot ladies or hot men fucking each other? No, actually, forget the distinction, it's irrelevant! Why is sex with a side of corny romance the only thing everyone is doing?! Fuck, make literally anything else! I get having a niche but for Christ's sake expand your horizons or something! FF doesn't even have the damn tag for the setting yet, AO3 is just porn and SpaceBattles only has Vs discussions and one single story ideas thread that I myself also sperged out in while I was only halfway done.

Christ, there are so many ideas in my head it's actually hard to focus! What about a serious setting examining the end of the story and how it could have gone on? Remake it into a tragedy, or just a feels-good epilogue that's only slightly longer than the story. How about tossing someone you KNOW would mess up the story into the story, but have it be so messed up it loops back around to the same end? Why not just do something really stupid and see where it leads? What if Laios and Kabru switched places? What if Laios and Falin were in Utaya when they were young (they're still the same people inherently just with a more tragic backstory) while Kabru is just some country schmuck that no longer has a tragic story to spur him on to the Dungeon? Does Kabru actually become even more of a textbook hero type? Would the Touden siblings let their past bog them down and make them gloomy or would it only make them more aware of the world around them and thus more willing to look at the other? The story establishes that they're inherently selfish people - they are of course also selfless, but the initial drive for the story is a selfish one for pretty much everyone. Laios just wants to look at and eat cool monsters. Falin wants to tag along and experience new things. Marcille wants to research ancient, forbidden magic. Chilchuck... Uh... Wants to make money and not be constantly scammed at best and backstabbed at worst, I think. Senshi just kind of wants to vibe. Izutsumi wants to stop being a beast-person and is by far portrayed as the most openly selfish in everything she does and decides.

The whole story is really about people being selfish and realizing that's no good, realizing that the people around them are PEOPLE and they should maybe consider each other more. That's how Laios learns to take responsibility, for instance. Oh sure some characters end up not ACTUALLY bring selfish at all, some of them right from the start even, but narratively until told otherwise we start off thinking everyone in the main group are first and foremost in it for themselves. The unifying moment and first instance of selflessness comes when they decide to immediately go rescue Falin - well, Shuro and Namari didn't but we don't know that right away.

Look what I'm saying is there's so many fucking themes in this story and what everyone is focusing on is sex. My argument isn't "sex bad", in fact. It's that the porn with plot - or even the tasteful romance stories - would be even better if you had some other nice fics alongside them. After all, if you eat the same thing the whole time it's bound to become boring eventually, but have a good spread and every part of the meal will be all the better in combination with other parts. If I just ate soup I'd be kind of disappointed, but make some simple rice and cook some simple meat for AFTER the soup and now both the soup and rice and meat feel so much better based on the other things I ate alongside them. Fics are the same. Please. I beg you. Give yourselves some diversity.