#why is this even one of my favorite dreams this is so conflicting

[luvjunie]

— Unforgettable ( 4 )

part one • part two • part three • part four • part five

pairing: e-1610!miles x fem!reader

contains: angst/conflict (y’all knew it was comin), language, miles being a dunce, gwen and her awkwardness

summary: a bump in with a certain boy at the bodega threatens to ruin your previously perfect afternoon until he offers to fix it. you assumed things would end there, and then you ran into him again. wc: 3,284

a/n: i held onto this for so long my apologies i had to find time to actually sit down and edit it fr fr 😭 i read this a gazillion times to the point i can recite it from memory so if you see any typos or grammar errors no you don’t. recap of part three is in small italics

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He wanted this. He wanted you.

But any chance for another sensical thought was interrupted when the impossible happened. ‘Impossible’ being the multi-layered hexagonal portal that suddenly opened up on his ceiling, and the blonde-haired, gap-toothed girl he thought he'd never see again, appearing with it. Bright and beaming down at him with a heart-halting grin, Miles felt his stomach drop as soon as she spoke.

"Miles!"

Shit.

. . .

Love tears down your walls and leaves you vulnerable in all aspects. The skin you didn't know you wore as a shield to protect you from the unexpected is shed in one swift layer because you don’t care what the unexpected is anymore. All the space that was left for worrying about what’s to come has been stolen to make room for the one who makes your heart flutter faster than you can blink.

Love is waking up in the morning, and before you’ve even wiped the lingering dream from your eyes, you find yourself rolling over in hopes of discovering a text from your favorite person—a blur of letters you’re barely able to make out, but it causes a smile to stretch across your face nonetheless.

It’s what has your thoughts drifting from your conscious at least five times a day, chin tucked in hand, eyes dreamy with the image of him playing over and over again in your mind, face melted into the stupidest grin you’ve ever been able to manifest. It leaves you yearning for him in ways you never imagined before, wanting to see into the places of his soul he’s hidden from the world and even the ones he loves most.

So if that’s love, what’s this feeling that you have now?

What follows closely behind love is the ugly shadow that trails on its heels like a sinking suspicion you can’t shake; the one that’s never acknowledged because things are just too good for you to be worried about all the cons that come with the pros. That biting feeling that often goes undetected until it’s discovered at the most inconvenient of times.

That feeling, the one you couldn’t put a name to before?

Foolish is how you felt right about now.

As you stood in the middle of a lively party for Miles’ father, who was soon to be police captain. It was bustling with excitement, people laughing and chopping it up in every corner, like you should’ve been right about now.

You’d been greeted by almost all of them upon arrival and even managed to run into Miles’ parents, but for some reason, you still had yet to say hello to the one who actually invited you. And you’d been made aware of the reason why when you’d looked up to find him laughing with a girl you’d never seen before, and she definitely wasn’t a cousin. You knew that because you’d met all of them by now in the time you’d spent searching for him.

Miles’ hands were animatedly flying through the air as he explained something to the girl that you couldn’t make out from this far away, and his eyes were lit up in a way you’d never seen them before. Slowly but surely, even though your mind tried to stop the thought from breaking through, you started to wonder if last night meant as much as you thought it did.

The mini-pep talk you’d given yourself to instill courage was immediately deemed insignificant the moment your feet pushed you to start on your way over to them, but still, you tried to ignore the deepening pit in your stomach. You usually prided yourself on being someone who never jumped to conclusions without having an inkling to stand on, but Miles was great at making things you never even knew about yourself come to the surface. Was this one of them?

Your stomach was bubbling with nerves; a sensation of anxiety washing over you. She was the complete opposite of your image, and it made you feel self-conscious about everything, as if you hadn't fallen in love with your reflection in the mirror just before you'd left home. You began to think about how fuzzy your braids were, how you should’ve taken them down last week and redid them like you’d planned instead of ditching that very plan to hang out with Miles instead.

Was your outfit appropriate enough for a family gathering? Maybe you should’ve worn something simpler. Did he like that little snort you always did when you laughed, or did he find it annoying like the last guy did? Maybe you should fix that.

All these questions did a terrible job of hiding what you were truly worried about.

Miles was so involved in his conversation that he didn’t take notice of you walking over. It must’ve slipped his mind that he told you to meet him here and that he would introduce you to his family. Instead, you were left to fend for yourself until his parents caught sight of you being handed a baby even they didn’t know the name of.

And by the stupidly shocked look he sported as you popped up in front of the both of them, it seemed as if he’d forgotten that he invited you in the first place.

As a reflex, you dipped your hands into the pockets of his coat and forged the nicest smile you could muster as your eyes wandered over to the girl.

“Hey Miles, who's this?”

“Oh! Uh, Y/n, this is Gwen-“ the girl suddenly shot him a look you couldn’t decipher, eyes widened in warning, and Miles instantly froze.

The hell was that?

“Gw-Gwaaanda...” he continued shakily after correcting himself, brows raised toward her in silent question. He then motioned back and forth between the two of you. “Gwanda, this is Y/n. My, uh… My…” Miles trailed off, your lips parted in anticipation, and it looked as if he’d suddenly lost his train of thought.

"Your?" You cocked your head at him the slightest, expectant eyes urging him to continue.

“My friend.”

Gwen stared at him incredulously. His oversized jacket stuck out like a sore thumb on you, but a physical hint wasn’t needed. She was able to guess who you were to him the moment you stepped out onto the roof. Or who you were supposed to be.

“Your friend?” Your brows furrowed when you repeated what he’d said in disbelief. You couldn't even tell if the look he’d given you was one of pity, or remorse.

“Wow,” you breathed a lifeless laugh, lashes fluttering to keep the tears at bay with a small nod. You’d never felt so embarrassed. Your throat had that burning sensation that was all too familiar—the one that feels as if your chest is caving in on itself with the weight of disappointment. Heartbreak, you think, is what they call it. You’ve never experienced it before, but you assumed this is what it must feel like.

Gwen shifted from one foot to the other, her hand awkwardly clasped onto her opposing arm while her wide blue eyes darted between the two of you. The shift in energy was palpable, like there was a visible force pushing the both of you apart.

It was her, she realized.

She’s the force.

She suddenly cleared her throat.

“Is anyone else like, really cold right now?” Gwen's hand nervously gestured towards the air with a stale chuckle. “Cause, boy, it is definitely chilly today!”

“Here,” Your throat pushed down the godforsaken lump that was forming as you forcefully tugged Miles’ coat off your body as if it burned your skin.

“Have Miles’ jacket. I don’t need it anymore, anyway.” Thrusting the bundled green puffer into her loose hold, you ignored the graze of disbelieving eyes burning into the side of your head and adjusted your shirt as if you could somehow make it conduct more warmth. Fuck, it was chilly today.

Gwen, Gwanda, or whatever the hell her name just gaped at you.

“I—“

Miles extended a hand to you in a meaningless attempt. “Y/n stop, it’s yours-“

“It’s not. Never was.”

You weren’t talking about the jacket.

You were gone faster than you came—faster than you’d even fallen for him, which was surprising, to say the least. Ducking your body under the railing and jumping down onto the deck, you pointedly ignored the stairs descending from it. If there had been a faster route than the one you took to haul ass out of there, you would’ve snatched it in seconds.

In just a minute, everything had crumbled right in front of him, and Miles stood there and let it happen.

Gwen recognized the look in your eyes; it’d been the same one Miles had given her last year when he confessed to her and she told him they couldn’t be together. Not because she didn’t want to, but because the circumstances just wouldn’t allow it.

As if things weren’t bad enough already, Gwen spoke cautiously, lips rolled inwards and Miles’ jacket loosely clutched in her hands.

“I don’t know if it’s just me, but I think she was expecting you to put another word in front of 'friend'."

“Shit.”

His feet were moving before he even realized he was chasing after you. He narrowly dodged the sea of bodies blocking him from getting to you, his eyes scanning the roof in hopes of spotting the top of your head.

“Miles, wait!” His aunt called out to him. “Your mom is about to cut the cake! Where are you going?”

Miles hastily shouted a response to her with a hand cupped around his mouth, his feet moving backwards to keep up with his pace.

“Back in a sec!”

You pushed through the crowd with your head ducked, sincere apologies muffled to those you bumped into, and a few unwelcome tears rolling over the apple of your cheek as you did so.

“Sweetie, wait! You don’t want cake?”

Without making eye contact, you gave a rushed wave goodbye and a thank you to Rio and Jeff, whisking past the pair. That probably didn’t help your case, but what just happened between you and her son could probably be inferred, because you weren’t wearing his jacket like you were just a moment ago, and Miles’ previously giddy conversation looked as if it’d come to a screeching halt as she noticed that the painfully awkward girl she’d met earlier was standing by herself now.

Rio’s shoulders dropped with a knowing sigh as she watched you retreat.

“Ay, I told you that Gwanda girl was bad news, Jeff!” She grumbled with pursed lips, expression painted with disappointment to match her folded arms.

Your temporary wallowing had turned to rage in mere moments, made known in the way your hands shoved the door to the stairwell open with way more force than needed.

“Wait!” He slid his way through the doorway before it could close, managing to step in front of you before you could reach the stairs.

“Was yesterday and everything before then just a joke to you?” You stared daggers into his eyes after you’d whipped around, your gaze flitting between the both of them to find an answer faster than he could verbally give. “Because apparently, when you’re around whoever that is you forget about everything else.”

“What—No! Of course not." Miles quickly shook his head. Somehow, trouble always seemed to find him when Gwen was around. “She’s just a friend. I just, I haven’t seen her in a while—“

“Isn’t that what you called me back there? A friend?” You scoffed, arms crossing as if they could possibly shield your heart from taking any more damage. You knew you weren't giving him much of a chance to give an explanation, but right about now you felt as if he didn't deserve the chance. “Do you make out with all your friends on the roof or was I some sort of exception?”

“Y/n,” His shoulders dropped at that, and you almost found yourself feeling bad for saying such a thing. “I don’t know why I said that. I just—I froze up, and I’m sorry. But you’re more than that to me, I swear.”

“It sure doesn’t seem like it.” The saliva that was starting to pool in your mouth was aggravating you, but somehow at the same time your throat was incredibly dry. So dry that it had you struggling to make your voice into something more than whisper when he took a step forward, and when you took one back.

“Don’t.“ you said, shaking your head, and Miles grimaced slightly at the subtle crack in your voice. “Do you know how long I waited for you? How stupid I looked wandering around until I found you when I don’t know anyone but your parents? You invited me!”

You couldn’t wrap your head around it. Just last night, he’d made you feel as if you were the only girl in the entire world, but now it seemed like the world had gotten a whole lot bigger.

Whether you wanted to know the answer or not, you had to ask. So with a shaky inhale, you readied yourself for the worst, and so did he.

“Is she somebody to you?”

You watched as he swallowed, hard. Adam’s apple bobbing like his mind was for the truth. Gwen was just a friend. Now, at least. Telling you what you clearly already knew wouldn’t make you feel any better, but lying about it would only make things worse.

Miles bit at his cheek when his gaze drifted off to the side. You felt your heart sink at what came next.

“It… It was a long time ago. But I don’t feel that way anymore.”

Your eyes began to dampen again as they held contact with his for a pain-stricken moment, but a dejected once-over from head to toe and a repulsed frown was all you could spare him.

It felt as if the silence between you was much longer than a few seconds. With his chest rising and falling, Miles' throat was filled with words he knew you wouldn't believe. After what just happened, how would you? There was nothing he could say to rectify how badly he’d just embarrassed you and he knew that. And by the look of betrayal on your face and how your shoulder bumped his arm when you shoved past him, it seemed you wouldn’t even give him the chance.

Miles watched you descend down the stairs, his jaw clenched and his heart cramping with it.

What did he just do?

 

—

 

Maybe telling his parents what happened hadn’t been the best idea after all. But after calling you three times and leaving a voice message after each dreaded beep, just to find out at his third attempt that you’d disabled your voicemail box, he truly didn’t know what else to do.

And honestly, it’s not like he really had a choice when it came to telling them. After a couple awkward minutes of standing with a jacket that so obviously did not belong to her, Gwen cautiously returned it to his parents and hurriedly made her exit, which only left them with more questions than they had before.

They realized it was serious when Miles never came back in for a slice of cake.

Tres Leches! Miles never missed out on tres leches.

Rio was more than concerned when she knocked on his door and carefully cracked it open after no response to find her son face down in his pillow, curtains closed and his room in disarray.

She took a seat next to his curled-up form, face tinged with worry. “What happened, papa? Why’d she leave?”

Jeff settled for standing near the foot of his bed. “Yeah, son. She looked a little upset.”

Miles heaved out a sigh as he pulled his body into a seated position, hands running over his face as if they’d erase the memory from his mind. “I kinda… Like—When it came to introducing her to Gwanda, I… hesitated? I guess?” Miles mumbled, his voice raising a slight octave with the last word, as if he were just as confused as they were. Somehow, saying what happened out loud made him realize just how badly he’d messed up.

“Wooo, that’s bad.” Jeff sucked a breath in through his teeth and chuckled quietly, rocking from heel to toe at his son’s confession.

Rio rolled her eyes at her husband who wasn’t much of any help at all when it came to things like this. She lifted her chin attentively at Miles to let him know that she was genuinely listening.

“Well, you introduced her eventually…Right?“

“Yeah,” Miles confirmed, only to wince afterwards. “…As a friend.”

Rio’s mouth dropped. “Miles!”

“I know! I just— I froze! I don’t know why.” His head dropped into his hands in shame, elbows perched on bent knees.

“Alright, son. You gotta help me out here.” Jeff sighed. “So you’re telling me that the young lady who’s in our house almost every week, who we’ve been referring to as your girlfriend when she knocks on the door, isn’t your girlfriend?”

“I— She is, or… she was— isn’t? Anymore?” Something like an agitated groan mixed with a huff left Miles’ lips as he tried speaking again.

“She was going to be. I was gonna ask her up there which is why I invited her, but then Gwen just— showed up out of nowhere last night, and then I kinda sorta invited her too—“

“Last night? You had a girl in here?” Rio arched a brow.

“Who’s Gwen?” Jeff voiced his confusion quietly, eyes glancing to the side.

“Fuck, not Gwen, I meant Gwanda—“

Rio raised not one, but two disbelieving brows as Miles frantically shook his head.

“Damnit, I didn’t mean to say fuck—“ His eyes snapped up to see his parents’ faces painted with pure and utter shock at his choice of words. Again.

“Shit, wait! I—Oh God.” Miles let his head fall back into his hands as he groaned, tufts of hair clenched between his fingers. “Just help me, please.” He whined.

“Yup, that’s all you, honey.” Jeff nodded at Rio and patted his thighs with his hands that were starting to grow clammy, as if he’d actually done something useful before he discreetly slipped out the door.

Rio couldn’t stand to see her son so distraught, so she made the difficult decision to hear him out instead of addressing the string of curses he’d sent their way, or whatever happened ‘last night’. 

“Respira, mijo,” She barely had to pull him into her, his body fell into her embrace the moment her hand graced his shoulder. “I thought you really liked this girl... I even invited her for Thanksgiving!” Rio gently rubbed up and down his arm, comforting him in the way she knew how.

“I do!” he insisted. “A lot… I’m just an idiot who messed things up, and now she probably hates me.”

She pulled him away by his shoulders, looking into his eyes intently to make sure she got her point across.

“Listen to me. You are not an idiot, papa. A little slow to understand sometimes, yes—“ Miles rolled his head to the side in annoyance, but she gently brought his face back to her with a hand on his cheek.

“But—you always get there because you’re smart. And I know that, because your father and I raised you to be.” Miles almost managed a smile when Rio softly pinched his cheek. “That also means you’re smart enough to know that you’ve hurt someone you care about.”

“But… What if I can’t fix it?” Miles' voice was heavy with uncertainty. “Then what do I do?”

“Well, that’s life, papa. Not everything is something you can fix, but you won’t know unless you try.” Her hands fixed the crooked hemline of the cotton thermal beneath his jersey, gently smoothing out the wrinkles with flattened fingers.

“It’s a leap of faith, Miles. That’s all.”

. . .

a/n: tres leches was a total self insert that shit is fire

taglist: @burymeinside @secret-ssociety @whatamidoing89 @urmotherswhor3 @valovesyou @inlovewithfictionalppl @edgyficuselastica @motherwanda @mybfmiles @axeoverblade @miumiulicious @sukisprettyface @gwennesy @simpnotapimp @kanvis @cleo-dearts @retirement-home @lunaramune @silas-222 @citrusequalsfrogs @itsberrydreemurstuff @spritecranverry @mewhenimanangel @wisteriaflowersss @chadychadyy2k @sakura-onesan @coffeeandtealol @junipurr101 @bakugouswaif @luvdenisposts @aleluvsuu @wonylxv @attractivepie @cry1ngmyey3sout @silas-222 @idkkk343

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[phoenix-bleh]

Got idea for an intresting self aware au fic thing! A concept I did with friends but want to see your take on it! Not quite a single self aware cookie run character x reader but...here it is. My idea!

Self aware cookie run x very anxiety-ridden reader! Like having a habit of overthinking and yeah lol!

Imagine...y/n knows the Kingdom story and loves the game and the characters buuuuut when they are taken into world...they are TERRIFIED because of dark enchantress, the war and fighting and conflict going on and is terrified of being dragged into it so probably freak out at first about being out into the game like "ok i didn't know I was gonna get possibly killed by cookies of darkness today!"

Buuuuuut over time they learn from experience that things aren't as they seem. seems like all the conflicts have calmed down ever since y/n appeared and no there are no more of the usual story conflicts...instead, it's just the silly conflict of who can spoil y/n better and everyone focuses on making y/n happy and comfy and relaxed rather than trying to tear eachother a new one.

Example (just to demonstrate well..what problems y/n worries about vs. What they actually face. Just to give you a sample.)

Worry: y/n thinks they have to worry about dark enchantress taking them hostage and being treated badly as a hostage....

Reality: y/n if...really big if since they know kidnapping causes anxiety, dark enchnteress decides to take em as a hostage...y/n just had to worry about what snacks they are gonna choose to much on while watching their favorite movie while waiting for the good cookies to rescue em.

Worry: pure vanilla and shadow milk fight and being caught in crossfire.

Reality: pure vanilla and shadow milk have competition on who can make y/n their favorite breakfast dish the best! Winner gets to cook y/n breakfast!

Tldr: anxiety y/n gets dragged into cookie run world and gets scared because they think they will be doomed via plot because of the fighting always going on in it. Lucky for them...cookies won't let plot lay a finger on y/n and just want to spoil y/n rotten!

Self aware CRK x Anxiety! reader

Good luck trying to survive when you got a bunch of cookies wanting your attention 👍

warnings: you get spoiled to death

You don’t know why or how you ended up here in the game Cookie Run Kingdom but here you are. You were surrounded by the many cookies excited to meet you and you were just standing there confused out of your mind. Looking at all the cookies in front of you you realized you were actually here, in real life, and this wasn’t a dream. You let that sink in and on the inside you were screaming.

You knew about the game and you KNEW the story that came with the game. You loved the game, it was amazing, but the conflict that you might get dragged into scared you to the core. Not to mention you were in the middle of the Dark Flour war. What if that was still happening right now?? You were not in the mood for dying today.

The fear in your face was not unnoticed by one of the Ancients, Pure Vanilla Cookie walked up to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. You flinched at his touch and turned to look at him. “y/n are you alright? Is this all too much for you?” His face held genuine worry for you. You put your head down a little “Is…is the war still going on?” you asked him quietly. He still heard you and rubbed your shoulder for comfort “Unfortunately yes, but no need to worry dear if any harm were to come to you we promise to keep you safe at all cost.” 

You wanted to thank him for the reassuring words but if you were being honest they really didn’t work that much. However after some time being here most of the major conflicts started dying down just because of you existing. Even Dark Enchantress Cookie stopped focusing on trying to take over all of Earthbread and started focusing on trying to steal you and spoil you. Which is weird since it seems like something she wouldn’t do but here you are. 

She just kidnapped you and obviously you were terrified of what she could possibly do to you. She could do anything she wanted to you since you were way weaker than her and just thinking about it made you shake in terror. You were then placed in a big room with a bed and one of your favorite movies/shows and Dark Enchantress standing next to you asking you if you needed anything. You looked like a deer in headlights and just said you wanted a glass of milk. She then told her followers to go fetch you a glass of milk. Now you were just sitting here with a bunch of blankets and pillows surrounding plus the dark cookies huddled up next to you with a bunch of snacks all over the floor. You were waiting to see if anyone would come and save you just in case she change her act and decided she wanted to torture, but that was just your thoughts

It wasn’t just her either, almost every cookie fought over to see who could spoil and treat you the best.

During the expedition of Beast-Yeast you were freaking out about the conflict that Pure Vanilla and Shadow Milk might have and how much destruction it might cause. Also if Shadow Milk Cookie won you knew for a fact you were all dead. Noooooo it was nothing like that at all. They fought over your attention and for some reason had a cooking contest, out of all things, to see who could serve you the best. You can say you were pretty confused and now you have two cookies in front of you shoving each other so you could eat their food first.

When you met Wildberry Cookie and Crunchy Chip Cookie at the same time you were sure they were gonna argue with each other about something and you did not want to be caught up in their fighting. Too bad you were and they were fighting over who could protect you from danger better. If you were being honest you were just thankful they cared about you but you were definitely not expecting this much attention.

You thought you were gonna be caught in the terrible scary plot in this game and get yourself killed. Lucky you though none of the plot ever touched you because everyone was too busy trying to please you and keep you happy. Which apparently is way more important than anything else, but hey at least you know you're not dying anytime soon besides being spoiled to death.

[crimeronan]

alright. WHAT is a Raven Cycle. What is this story about. All this time seeing you pointed about these people, but it took me ages to figure out what the "trc" tag even stood for -- that poll you just reblogged in fact. I'm ready. Give me the pitch.

HI.

the raven cycle is a series of four books by maggie stiefvater: the raven boys, the dream thieves, blue lily lily blue, and the raven king. there is a follow-up trilogy called the dreamer trilogy made up of three books: call down the hawk, mister impossible, and greywaren.

(my 'cdth' tag is my tag for the sequel series, which i like even more than trc.)

it's a YA modern fantasy series set in a small town in rural virginia. the series focuses on a gang of five teenagers (a sixth joining in book 3/4) who are all dealing with various magic bullshit in their lives. one is looking for a dead welsh king along a ley line in the mountains of virginia, because legend says that the king can be woken and grant a wish.

the problem is that this boy, gansey, is going to die.

we know this because the one girl in the group (sorry women. there are more women in cdth i SWEAR), blue, saw his ghost on st mark's eve. which means he will die within the next year. why did she see his ghost?? because he's either her true love, or she killed him.

or, you know. both. if you're a girl who's cursed to kill your true love with a kiss. as she is.

blue does not want to kill anyone. blue also does not want gansey to be her true love. they get off on the wrong foot entirely and she decides he's the devil for a little while. blue is overall having a bad time with the world and her place in it and the fact that she's the only non-psychic person in a family of psychics, And Also She Doesn't Want To Kill Anyone.

so the question is -- for all four books -- what..... would make her kill gansey. how is gansey going to die.

gansey's three other closest friends are boys in varying states of emotional turmoil.

ronan, who is where my URL comes from, is a suicidal bipolar maniac alcoholic who spends all of his time trying to kill himself. and is also magic as fuck. and hiding it. and going out street racing with a guy who wants to eat him. and they're kind of fucking about it. they technically never fuck except like. they're kind of fucking about it

adam is a trailer trash kid paying his own way into the elite boarding school that gansey & ronan attend. his dad is physically abusive to the point of adam's life being in constant danger, but adam refuses to accept gansey's offers of help or safety, because he's determined that nobody else ever Own him.

noah is a quiet kid with a violent past that gansey cares about very deeply, getting into all of his backstory involves major book one spoilers but it is. Rough.

the plot points in the series are complicated to explain because there's a lot of mythology and strange worldbuilding and psychic bullshit and magic all going on and playing off each other. but the series is about these five kids being in a giant pseudo-polyamorous relationship and loving each other and hating each other and wanting each other and killing each other.

it has some of my favorite relationship arcs of all time in any media, ever, and also it like. taught me how to write. LOL. so if you're here from the owl house (??) or from a different fandom and you like how i talk about characters and how i write character conflicts and character arcs and character relationships....... U Get All Of That Shit In The Raven Cycle.

and that's it!

[lovesunshinefelix]

Blue

Tags: ex-husband!chan x reader, angst?, mentions of having children together but not specified how many, hints of a conflict but not stated

Warnings: not proofread, angst with no happy ending, italics = flashbacks

Word count: 967

Note: i don't believe this is good but there seems to be a lack of bang chan angst lately so i had to take matters into my hands (?) also i had a hard time thinking of a title for this until i remembered how much I love taeyeon's Blue, and I thought how much it would fit this blurb so here it is hehe

Watching your eldest daughter finish college is seemingly one of the happiest days of your life. You didn’t expect for you to reach such a milestone in your life since you didn’t even think you could take her there by yourself, but you were happy one of your kids is finally finished with their studies. Although it wasn't your milestone, you were happy, and you wanted to make sure you were going over the top for your eldest.

With the help of your kids, they put up some decorations for the occasion at home while the ceremony went on. On top of that, you were driving around to places yesterday to buy some of her favorite food. Although the other members suggested a potluck, you still wanted to make sure that her favorite food was being served. And before you left for the occasion, you were running around the house cleaning and making sure everything’s in place.

Evening came and you were both home from her ceremony, everyone she loves came to the small gathering you threw for her; yours and Chan’s family, the other members and their families, and some of her friends. She was truly happy celebrating her achievement with everyone that she loved. Hours passed and some of the guests started leaving, your kids left with some of their cousins to go off to god knows where, which leads you to continue entertaining the other guests. When everyone left, you began picking up some of the mess they left off.

You were cleaning up some of the things from the party and have moved on to washing dishes when Chan strides through the kitchen, seemingly pleased. “It was fun seeing everyone here. Thank you for doing this for y/d/n.” He said, grabbing a rug from your kitchen drawer and drying some dishes. You just gave Chan a faint smile. “Anything for my baby.” You let out a big breath, “She's worked so hard for this, and I want her to know that everyone around her supports her dreams and is proud of her hard work.” You smiled, giving him some of the dishes you finished washing.

“It only felt like yesterday when we brought her home. Now she's off to find a job.” He told you. You just smiled fondly at the memory. “I know. Remember that time she refused to go to daycare because she doesn’t wanna leave her siblings?” you asked, walking over to his side and keeping the rest of the dishes. He laughs at the thought, “Of course, I had to promise her to some ice cream after daycare.” He said, putting away some of your dishes and asking where things belong.

For a while, there was a silence between the two of you; putting away some of the things and slowly removing the decorations, until Chan broke it off. “Do you… ever wander off and think about us?” You looked at him, somewhat confused. “What was there to think about?”

“I don't know,” he rubs the back of his head. “But I often… wander off to it.” He said honestly. “… Sometimes, I wished things ended differently.”

“But they didn't.” You told him, not meaning to sound bitter. But he understands, he understood completely.

You were both silent for a while. Just cleaning up your kitchen, until you spoke. “I don’t even think I ever moved on from you…” you tell him honestly, chuckling at the thought of it. Chan was just stunned at your confession. “It's pathetic, I tried going on dates a few years after the divorce. All I could ever think about was you.” “… Then why didn't you give me a chance to start all over again with you when I came back 12 years ago?” He asked you.

You pondered on his question but it didn't last for long. You remember it all; the lying, the arguments, the sleepless nights. All of that and you had to keep yourself composed for your children. When he came back to you 12 years ago, all of that flew out the door.

“I know I’ve made some mistakes that led to our divorce, but I want to ask for a second chance. I want to be with you and our kids for as long as I live.”

“You have no idea what I had to put myself through to forget about you, and you come back here thinking we can fix this?!”

Even though it was years ago it felt like a scar that seemingly healed for years was cut open.

You just chuckled at him, tears rolling down your cheeks reliving all the memories it brought you. “No matter how much I love you, no amount of happiness could ever compare to the day you hurt me.” you said, “Especially since I saw everything myself. I can't do that to myself again, I was raising our kids all alone.” You sniffled. “I was there for you, I gave you the support our kids needed.” He said. “I have them during weekends and when they wanted to go out with me, how can you say you were alone?” he asked. “I know and I want to thank you for it, but I can’t help but feel alone in all of my battles the moment you walked out on me.” you said in between sniffles.

After that tense discussion you were both quiet for a while. You took in a deep breath, “I'm sorry, Chris. I don't want to have this discussion again.” You said, wiping away your tears and sniffling. He just nods defeated, out of respect to your wishes. He made his way out of your once shared home while you watched him walk away from you for the third time in your life.

[darkbluekies]

Dr Kry asks #4

Previous one

Concept: I've put multiple asks into one post to avoid too much loose posts on my account! This way, you have more to read too<3

Warnings: mentions of ed, otherwise the normal Dr Kry stuff

I wonder how Dr Kry would feel if his darling developed romantic for him but was waiting to leave the hospital to officially ask him out. They'll say stuff like "I can't wait to leave this hospital bed so we can finally have a proper date together !",  "I would love to go see [movie name] in the theaters with you!" Or "I'd love to be with you but once I get better I promise! You deserve more than the semi-vegetable that I currently am." I guess he'd be a little conflicted, would he let his darling free from the hospital so they can have a somewhat normal romantic relationship or would he keep them here ?

He'd let his darling get well because he doesn't want anything else than the traditional house hold and only keeps them ill because they're not complient. But if they actually do like him and see a future together, then he can begin to live out his dream.

How would dr Kry react to a coworker reader who figures out he’s been telling people they’re dating and tries to leave him?

He'd be flustered. You weren't supposed to figure it out, you weren't supposed to know! He'd try to justify his actions while making you feel bad for leaving him.

"But Y/N, please, I'm doing it for you. If people think that we're together they'll not bother you. I've seen how people eye you in the corridor. It's disgusting. I'm just trying to help, so please don't leave. It hurts my feelings. I'm just trying to help ..."

He might say that you're pretending now, but he'll fake it til he makes it.

At this point I’ll let Dr kry talk for me,like yes please finish of my setences Cuase sometimes words are hard and it’s hard to speak so that sounds amazing

Careful, he will do it. As long as you're around other people, he'll finish your sentences, but he'd like for you to talk to him when you're alone. He loves to hear your voice so much.

I remember when you said that Dr Kry would worsen the toxic air purifier if we ignore him till it hurts too much, me personally I'm petty as hell, he'd have to see me DIE before I speak to him because thats what he gets, I'm petty to the death ✊

I- .... i don't know what to say.

My headcanon voice for Dr. Kry is Sammy Lawrence from Bendy and the Ink Machine.

Omg, you are so big brain. I would say his voice is a tad bit lighter in my head, but other that that, damn.

Does dr. Kry bathe reader or he only does if the reader is very sick?

He does it all the time. Since the reader is too weak and dizzy and everything from the poison 24/7, he doesn't trust them. They could hurt themselves in there. Besides, he likes being able to take care of the reader in every aspect. This is the closest he'll come to their nudity without it being uncomfortable for him.

Would Dr. Kry let the reader customize their hospital room if they asked nicely?

Of course! If he knows that they're okay with being there (and even fix the room to their liking) then it'll just make him happy!

do you think kry would treat darling differently if she has an ED and won’t eat much?i have an ED and just wanted to see how my favorite boy might take it :’) feel free to ignore lol

He will. Every action will be calculated and well thought out to make you calmer and more open to try to eat. He won't force you, but he'll encourage you. He's studied this, he knows how dangerous something like this can be. And that's why he wants to help you as much as possible.

Me whose been sick for 3 weeks with an awful cough and body pains. "Please dr kry come kidnap me..just wanna sleep and not work"Have been working weekends with my sick body because the boss doesn't give sick leave for flu

Careful, he will do it.

I love dr kry but he drinks coffee all the time so his breath probably STANKS. Hes a 10 but he has constant coffee breath.

Well DUH HE IS A COFFEIN ADDICT. don't bully him :(

[boxdstars]

Any personal HCs about what happens to the gang after Hogwarts?

GOD IM SO SORRY ANON 😭😭 I’m so bad at time management, whoever you are - please accept a forehead kiss as compensation

With that being said.. aside from my own little canon (and the joint-canon I share with each of my friends) I do have some general ideas for the kiddos!

Natsai undoubtedly becomes an Auror, it just feels heavily implied within her companion story. She’s looking for clues, standing up against the law to do things her own way, and doing what’s right. She wants to be better than those before her, and isn’t going to settle for not getting involved when she knows she can help. She’d also be much more prolific with her wandless magic.

Poppy being a magizoologist is another HC that just feels right. Of course she’d want to work with beasts, perhaps even pull a Charlie Weasley and go look after dragons in Romania. I can’t imagine she’d want to do anything else, especially if it means she could help beasts from poachers in that line of work as well.

Imelda gets to achieve her dreams of become a professional quidditch player. I reckon she’s a chaser, and she’s incredibly renowned for it, taking her team to the World Cup on several occasions.

Sebastian has a lot of options, being the favorite of the fandom I’ve seen a lot of ideas bounced around. A personal favorite of mine is that he becomes the DADA professor (though it’s in conflict with Dumbledore taking that position as well for a time). Either way, he definitely is involved in academia to some extent, later in life more like it. I could see him as a cursebreaker, something a little less sanctioned than an aurorship given his penchant for rule breaking.

Ominis needs some peace and quiet. And preferably far away from his family. I think he’s a good narrative mirror of his ancestor, Isolt Sayre. She fled the Gaunt family and ran to America (later being one of the founders of Ilvermorny) and it would be a nice justification as to why he wasn’t mentioned in later canon, as he fled his families clutches overseas and presumably took on a different surname.

Amit our little academic that he is, is going to be a professor no doubt. He’s not keen on action packed adventures, and like any true Ravenclaw, loves to share his never-ending thirst for knowledge. He’d definitely be a Hogwarts Professor, perhaps Astronomy or Charms (though he’d always have a fondness for the stars).

Garreth would pursue something more casual than the rest, no doubt following his passion for potions. I also think he’d be an excellent cook, not as a main profession but for his family! While he goofs around in class he makes no margin for error as an adult and is quite adept with a cauldron.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Interested in Writing But Can't Seem to Write

Anonymous asked: I've been interested in writing since I was a child. Used to be a bookworm. Whole chapter books in one night, completely addicted as a form of escapism. My first real dream job was to be an author - I decided this at around 11 maybe. No matter how many phases I've had, I always return to wanting to be an author. I am 22 now. I have not written a single thing. I vaguely remember writing like, maybe 3 things at most. Incomplete works that I just had fun with. And this was before I even turned 14. But in all those years of "loving writing and books" and "wanting to be an author" I did straight up nothing. Didn't even contribute to fanfics for the fandoms I was deeply obsessed with (I do remember trying once but wasn't into it). At some point reading was out of my life too.

I'm going to start here, because of these conflicting statements:

-- "I have not written a single thing." -- "I vaguely remember writing like, maybe 3 things at most."

See the issue? ;) If you've written "maybe 3 things" you have written something. They may have been incomplete, and you may not even remember what you were, but that doesn't mean you should discount them. You have written. That experience is still in there somewhere.

One of my biggest pet peeves as a longtime writer is hearing newer writers refer to themselves as "aspiring writers." If you write, you're a writer. Period. It doesn't matter if you journal, write poetry, write fan-fiction, or wrote a middle-school round robin with friends where you all married your favorite K-Pop stars. You write. You're a writer. And, honestly, even if you're not actively writing right now, if you want to write--if you think about writing, are constantly jotting down story ideas and character names, and are eagerly gathering inspiration from all around you... guess what? You're still a writer.

Now I'm trying to take my interest in writing more seriously, but I just can't sit down and write. I'm good at storing notes and ideas and daydreaming what my stories are about, but nothing is ever produced. If I think about it I immediately lose interest - even if I am in fact still interested in writing and publishing? I'm very confused by my behaviour and I wonder if it's normal.

What you're experiencing isn't unusual. In fact, most writers experience it from time to time, though usually it happens at points further into the writing journey and not right at the start. But I still wouldn't call that "abnormal." It happens.

There are a hundred-million reasons why it happens, and the only way to figure out why it's happening for you right now is to do some soul-searching. At your age, I think a prime suspect would be that you're in the jumping off point for your adult life. This can be a tumultuous time for a variety of reasons, and your focus and energy may be naturally geared toward the things that help you explore and settle into this new phase of life. Even beyond that, if you have have a demanding job (including being a parent or caregiver), are going to school or studying for job-related tests/classes, or have a lot going on right now (multiple projects, lots of travel, lots of appointments and social commitments, etc.)--your focus and energy is probably running thin as it is, so finding a way to funnel what's left into writing is going to take some finesse. And that's if this is even the right time for it, which I'll get to later on.

Writing Stress = Writing Avoidance

One of the most mind-blowing things I've learned about writing is that writing avoidance often comes down to writing feeling stressful for whatever reason. If you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to write, write a certain amount, meet goals or deadlines, that translates to stress. It makes writing stressful, and the problem with that is evolution has wired our brains to avoid things that are stressful. At its most basic level, stress is a response to danger--you hear a lion roar in the distance, it causes you stress, you turn and run in the opposite direction. Stress triggers the "fight or flight response," a defense mechanism that protects us from the impending danger. With writing, "fight" shows up as self-criticism. "Flight" shows up as avoidance.

So, if you find that you want to write but are avoiding it, it's worth considering if you're avoiding it because it feels stressful to you. If so, there are things you can do to de-stress writing. For one thing, let go of the notion that you have to write any particular thing or amount in order to be a writer. Set yourself a bare minimum writing goal to reach every day... like writing for 10 minutes. That can be any writing--journaling, writing prompts, working on a story, fleshing out story ideas, fluffy fan-fiction, poetry, writing down a favorite memory, doing a book or movie review, anything. Try to do it every day, but don't beat yourself up if you sit down and aren't able to write anything, don't write a lot, or never sit down at all. Just try, every day, do your best. Also, try setting up a writing routine that you do every day when you sit down for that little writing session. Try to pick the same or similar time each day, do a little meditation or stretch beforehand, put on some soft music or light a candle, get your favorite drink or small snack. If you do this almost every day, what you'll start to find is that the writing happens more and more easily. Eventually you'll be spend more and more time doing it.

Why can I say I'm interested in writing when I don't write at all?

I'm interested in traveling to England but I haven't yet and have no current plans to. Does that mean I'm not allowed to say I'm interested in traveling to England?

Being interested in something doesn't mean you have to do that thing right now or you can't say you're interested in it.

And even if you can't write right now for whatever reason, there are still plenty of writerly things you CAN do. Following writing blogs and vlogs is a good start. You can listen to writing podcasts and read writing craft books. You can keep a notebook full of plot and character ideas, setting inspiration, favorite quotes, interesting words, and overheard bits of dialogue. You can watch TV shows and movies (and read books, which includes listening to audiiobooks!) You don't even have to do these things all the time or everyday. Just periodically, when you can. It all goes into your creative well and will be there to draw from when you are able to write.

One final word...

You do not have to be in a hurry to be a writer or to be a published writer. The average age of first-time publication is mid-30s. I was mid-40s. Jane Austen was 35. Toni Morrison was 40. J.R.R. Tolkien was 45. Richard Adams was 52. Annie Proulx was 57. Laura Ingalls Wilder was 65. National Book Award winner Harriet Doerr was 74. Poet Sarah Yerkes started writing poetry at 97 and was published at 101.

So, be interested in writing. Own that interest. Figure out if and how writing fits into your life right now. If it doesn't, do the other things. Fill your creative well so it will be ready when writing does fit into your life. ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[bamdelune]

In Hindsight 🎧 Ch. 26: "plague my mind like how you always did" ★ finale

The moment January came around, Kunikuzushi felt antsy. Anxiety scratched at him like an animal with claws, bearing him with scratches that would sting until they healed. Just as he was about to reach for his phone, it vibrated on the wooden top of his desk. Kunikuzushi hesitates, his hand stopping mid air.

Fuck it. He mutters. He presses the green button and puts his phone next to his ear.

It was Baizhu.

"Doctor?" His voice was meek, confidence and assurance draining to the floor the moment he spoke. Silence filled the line. It was suffocating, it was too thick. It felt like his heart stopped.

A shuffling is heard on the other side of the line, along with quiet sobs in the background.

"I have news and I thought you should know."

Dread slaps Kunikuzushi in the face. His heart started pounding inside his ribcage. He can feel his breath catch in his throat. This was a long time coming but somehow, he still couldn't prepare himself no matter how much time was given.

"I'm afraid—"

"No." Kunikuzushi interjects quietly.

"What?"

"No." He affirms, his fingers clutching the phone as tight as he can to the point his knuckles turned an ivory white. The warm lighting of his desk lamo illuminates his troubled features. Anxiety was replaced by numbness, which he knew would soon be replaced by a feeling of emptiness.

"Kunikuzushi, you can't just—"

The line ends with a beep from Kuni's end, his fingers trembled slightly. A year was over.

12 months had passed and you left in due time. You left as fast as you came into his life that one December day.

The next few hours felt gray, like a mute movie that you would play in the background. Kunikuzushi hasn't touched his phone once since that call and he's not ignorant to the countless missed calls that have vibrated his phone off the desk. He could only sit in silence.

Kunikuzushi didn't know how to grieve, that one was a given. He was so densensitized from the numerous passings he had witness at the hospital, with family members sobbing until their voices ran hoarse. But of course, this was about you. His feelings, which were too much for him, clashed in conflict. Was he supposed to be glad that you're not in pain anymore? Is he supposed to cry? His head would feel like a thousand bricks were dumped on him from the amount of thinking he was doing.

Kunikuzushi faced death everyday. Whether at the hospital or whether it was him. Everyone did. But why did this one hurt to no end? Why couldn't he cry? Why couldn't he scream? Why can't he feel his heart breaking into tiny pieces and would instead feel hollow, like a shell that was only built to move not feel?

A few hours passed him by, he wonders what they were doing to you now? Moreover, what he would do when he sees you in that casket you planned to lay in going to the afterlife.

Could he even bear to see such a sight?

Death was complicated for him, a taboo in the array of thoughts he had on a daily basis. The amount of exposure he gets only pushes him to never open that can of worms ever again.

He dreamt about you that night. A sick play by his mind, like it was rubbing salt on an open wound.

He dreamed about your album's release, a celebratory party at some random event hall. Your friends, selected fans, and artists were all smiles. The dream was a bit fuzzy, as if to mock him that all of this was too good to be true.

"You look nice."

The him in his dreams turns around to face the familiar source of the voice and he swears just the sight of that expression was almost enough to wake him up if he shook hard enough.

It was you, clad in the best clothes you tried on that day the both of you went shopping. It was the best one you tried on that day, but he knew you never really bought it in the first place.

But God, he missed your voice, his favorite melody. He'd listen to you talk for an eternity if it was up to him.

"Hey, you." He almost croaks out. Hey, at least he found out that he some form of consciousness in dreams. "Congratulations, love."

You give him a smile before taking a sip out of your cup. You sigh before giggling, "That drink is revolting." Kunikuzushi chuckles softly. For the first time today, he felt light. Like a weight off his chest just rolled off so easily when he saw you like this.

He notices you staring at him, worry in your eyes. Your eyebrows furrow in concern before reaching for his face. He sucks a breath in, as your skin comes in contact with his. It was feathery light, like your hand was made out of the softest silk ever made.

This dream is too fucking vivid.

"What's wrong?"

The dream version of Kunikuzushi doesn't notice that small drops of tears streaming down his cheeks.

Kuni was crying.

For the first time today, he finally cried. He finally started grieving for you.

"Hey, hey, hey. What's going on? Look at me."

He feels you align his face to yours, your hand still on his cheek. Your eyes trailed around every feature of his face.

"Fuck, I–I miss you already." He whispers weakly, his voice comes out quiet but choked. He hears you chuckle softly.

"What are you talking about? I'm right here dumbass."

That's right. You're still here. You're still with him, alive and well. The question is how long can he keep that up for?

He feels himself nod as you cradle his face in your hands. Kunikuzushi tries to calm himself down but he hiccups more quiet sobs.

"I love you so much." You embrace him, burying your face into his neck. "Don't cry anymore, you don't need to be sad anymore."

Kunikuzushi wakes up with a gasp, feeling the cold tears run down his face again with his heart clenching for the first time tonight, as if it only started beating ever since he saw you in that dream.

Even now, during the height of his loss, you're still his mind's favorite thought, his heart's favorite pattern of beats, his skin's favorite touch.

Sincerely yours, Kunikuzushi.

synopsis. You are a singer-songwriter. Music has always been a part of you, it's a part of your identity that no one can ever take away. However, there's always a catch: you are diagnosed with a chronic illness that puts your life on a timer. Those who have heard your countless melodies have grown to notice that the notes on the sheet played a gloomier tune. Would the snarky and capable medical student you've met be able to bring life back into these melodies? Even as life begins to seep out of your own body? (scaramouche x gn!reader)

tags. gender-neutral reader, angst, fluff, crack, heavy contexts of death and illnesses, friends to lovers, slowburn, profanities, drinking (characters are in college), suggestive themes but no nsfw.

taglist. (status: open) — @beriiov @alatusorrow @ohmyfinggod @featuredtofu @itzblazekun @lazy-sanns @sakurapeach @aqvvas @yukiipc @thenightsflower @coquettemaiden @dappledstars @sunnyskiesv2 @alatus-viator @yuminako @mellowberrie @k1an4a @sheraffim @pooony @sheraffim @vxmp-loml @lxkeeeee @certified-simp-4evr @nillajhayne @scaramoo @sleepning @sukunasrealgf @sketcheeee @zephestia @kaoyamamegami @startographist

masterpost ★ masterlist © bamdelune 2023. do not repost, translate, plagiarize any of my works without permission, thank you so much! reblogs, notes, and comments are always appreciated!

[yourqueenb]

As a continuation of this ask that I responded to, all the things I mentioned are just parts of the overall issue I have with Blades…. which is that, in the grand scheme of things, I feel like MC is simply a plot device for the other characters rather than a fully developed character who has a fully developed and satisfying arc herself. It’s clear that Nia’s is the story the writers really wanted to tell considering how intertwined her characterization/development and the overall world building are. They basically even admitted as much.

So my question is why not just make her the MC if that’s really what you wanted on the not so down low? They still could’ve incorporated the skill mechanic. Why create a whole player character just to have us running to solve everyone else’s problems/support them while acting like everything that happens to us exists inside of a vacuum in the meantime? So far, all we’ve really been doing in this book is reporting where the group needs to go, telling them what to do, having heart to hearts with them when they need help moving to the next stage of their development, and then being spoonfed information through the lore tablets, which are apparently more for the players’ benefit than MC’s since they barely affect how we respond in game anyway. I’m fine with being the leader or the glue that holds everyone together, but to me it’s unsatisfying that that’s all we are as the main character.

We somehow become more competent due to the skill mechanic but no less clueless at the same time. We have all this terrible shit happen to us, but are only offered a few lines’ description of how that’s affected us. And then the rest of the attention goes to setting up the light vs. shadow conflict and our friends, who get to have personal and compelling conflicts of their own. I mean I feel like MC is more of an emotional support animal to them than an actual person with dreams, feelings, and a (minimal) background. Imo the only character who’s getting shafted almost as much as us is Imtura.

And all of this might make it sound like I hate Blades, but it’s quite the contrary actually. It’s still one of my favorite series and has a lot of fun moments and lovable characters. But I think at this point, its flaws have become too large for me to ignore. So that’s still affecting my enjoyment a bit and probably the reason why I’m so upset with how certain things are being handled. Of course I’m aware that Blades isn’t the only book that has some of these issues though. I think it’s just a little more disappointing because I expected more

[stellisketches]

why? please explain the soldier, port, king in excruciating detail PLEASE

EDIT: ITS FINALLY DONE i'm so sorry this took me like six months I got really busy with school work and I wanted to make sure I wasn't half-assing this anyway thank you for asking please enjoy

For reference I will be quoting the “Poet Soldier King” test on uQuiz as I feel they summarize each role most succinctly.

"You wonder, sometimes, if anger is the only thing you can feel. Remember: love is passion too. You made your own rules and will follow them to death. You try and forget that there is only one rule, and that it is "FIGHT". You are tired of fighting. You try to forget that, too, and keep going. You dream of quiet. Your love is where you heal." -Soldier

It's a subtle element but Vylad’s entire character/existence is about enduring conflict. It's an easy thing to forget due to his calm demeanor, but Vylad has been fighting since the moment he was born (hell, even before). Fighting the ill-contrived gossip of being a bastard son, fighting to prove himself a genuine Ro’Meave, and fighting against Garte and Zane’s abuse over his childhood. It’s a subtler form of conflict, but it’s very interesting to imagine how he was able to put up with all of it (I’ve planned so many prequel fics about the Ro’Meaves you guys). Then there’s the whole shadowknight topic that really is indicative of itself. Vylad's whole arc was based upon leaving behind the violence of his past as a literal soldier within the Shadow Lord's army. Again it’s really easy to forget but this is someone who was revived to burn the world to the ground and slaughter any and every man, woman, and child that got in the way of it. He told Aphmau himself in season 2: “One good deed does not fix a thousand wrongs done. I'm not a good person, let's just leave it at that. Please.” We may not have seen it on screen, but who knows how long Vylad was traveling with Sasha and Gene. I doubt Phoenix Drop was the first village they targeted, and I doubt Gene or Sasha or even Zenix were ever like “oh yeah you can wait outside while we commit atrocities on this Lord and his family and burn the whole village to the ground.” Vylad has a very practical mindset (another trait indicative of a good soldier), and it wouldn’t surprise me if he was purposefully good at his job so it would land him more opportunities to get out of the nether now and again. He enacted violence well enough that he was trusted to be sent outside the nether to go fuck up the overworld. Vylad is a man thoroughly haunted by war and the violence he’s committed against others in a way his brothers just… aren't. Sure, Garroth knows fighting and violence as a means of protection and ensuring the safety of others, but he doesn’t know war. He’s never had someone he cared about die in his arms. He’s never seen a whole village burn to the ground and see innocent people slaughtered left and right. He’s never seen a child screaming at their dead mother to get up. He may use violence, but he was never a violent person. Zane, on the other hand, most definitely was, however, but he hardly ever enacted any of the violence himself. 90% of the time it was jurors or guards he’d given orders to. And while he was more than happy to get his hands dirty every once in a while, he never felt genuine consequence from it. 

Continuing on Vylad’s inner psyche, we see after he still keeps a very practical, soldier-like mindset out of the nether in company with Aph and Co: He gets annoyed at Aphmau when she puts off telling everyone about the Tuu’la invasion. He surveys Laurance from a distance and does not interfere even in danger because he’s aware of the long term effect of distrust it would cause him. Upon the chaos in Narhaka, he immediately goes to burn books that have important locations the enemy could use against them. This is actually one of my favorite scenes because of how subtly status-quo breaking it is. Tell me right now of any scene involving book burnings done by a guy the audience is supposed to root for. Vylad’s view of the world makes him incredibly pragmatic and able to calculate the win-loss ratio of his actions and let that decide whether or not he will go through with it.

Vylad may not have the typical surface-level look of the characters often put into the category, but if you really dive into his past, his mindset, and the way he views the world, he easily fits into the role of soldier; with the final line “Your love is where you heal” setting him on the path of redemption we see throughout the whole series.

"Loneliness. Strength. Joy. You are powerful, but struggle believing it. You think you're not enough. Here's the truth : you are. You sing songs and hope they carry faith, because you have run out of it, and yet you still throw your heart out to the world and hope it makes it through. You convince yourself that pain is art because at least then, you will always have something to create. You are tired of stumbling through life. You dream of a ground you can stand on. One day, you will dance. Your love is where you feel - without fear." -Poet

Now I admit for Zane it does require a more particular perspective to place him as poet, but I’ll start simple and slowly transition to red string and corkboard. Firstly, from the original song lyrics, “He will slay you with his tongue” applies in at least two different ways. The first being obvious: Zane is incredibly charismatic- you don’t just make it to High Priest without a certain degree of people skills included but not limited to negotiating, preaching, and being able to reason your way through any theological question a questioning sinner could ask you. It’s a shame we don’t see it put into use very often throughout the series, but I think his position gives enough testament to his people skills. The second way this line applied is a bit more literal and a bit more dark, which would be the sheer amount of people who were murdered not by his hands directly, but on mere orders. He can quite literally have people slain in just a few words to the right people. Moving to the more esoteric; the line “You are powerful, but struggle believing it. You think you're not enough.” seems like it be a hitch to his characterization, as it first invokes the idea of someone who lacks self-confidence, which is FAR from what we see Zane characterized as in the story. However I see this from the lense of artists becoming blind to the depth of their own skill. Zane is powerful, but it’s not enough for him. He’s become so accustomed to the level of influence he holds he’s become desensitized to it, like how you stop feeling the cold of the water once you stay in it long enough.The power he’s been swimming in his entire life no longer brings that vitalic shudder of control he craves. Thus he seeks power that goes beyond mortal influence to raw, unchanneled divinity, as that’s the only thing that he has ever been told is above him. He hungers the same as any artist— to be something greater than they already are.

“You convince yourself that pain is art because at least then, you will always have something to create.” The idea of creation draws back to Zane’s relationship with control and divinity. I think it's highly debatable as to whether or not Zane has actual “faith” in the divine (i.e, seeing them as gods he wishes to emulate or simply as extremely powerful beings minus the religious element), but in either case it again leads back to desire for more. (sidenote: Zane’s fatal flaw being lust is such a delicious piece of irony and I could make an essay of its own on it). Anyway, back to the point I was originally trying to make: Zane sows pain and destruction as a means of asserting his power/importance both to others and himself. The “pain” spoken of would normally belong to the poet themself— but this is no ordinary poet, and there is no specific indication where said pain emerges from. 

"Duty. Strength. Resignation. You were told to do things and you did them. The world is something that was put into your hands and that you must deal with - so you will. You have a rigid back and steady hands, either metaphorically or physically. Is it nature or nurture ? You don't know. You are tired of being steady. You dream of feeling alive. Not that you aren't, but, sometimes, it's hard to remember that there is a heart between your ribs. Your love is where you breathe." -King

God where do I start. “Duty. Strength. Resignation” It’s like someone just said ‘describe Garroth in three words’. Duty has been his entire life, wanted or not, which leads directly into resignation. “You were told to do things and you did them.The world is something that was put into your hands and that you must deal with - so you will.” He learned his history. He learned the politics. He followed the dogma. He believed in Irene and his father and the glory of O’Khasis and his divine duty to lord over its people. His people. He said it himself in episode 68 he wanted to be exactly like his father, and that he thought to be lord was an honor and a privilege. To him, the weight of the world has rested upon his shoulders for so long that he becomes accustomed to each additional hardship quickly and quietly, never kicking up a fuss about his growing stress and dissatisfaction, like a frog in a pool of water that is steadily increasing in temperature. He locks his festering disdain for glorification of leadership away from his father, his family, and the rest of the world because he cannot show that he is anything but the Atlas of duty he was born to be. 

Until, one day, he has enough. He saw what happens to his dear little brother, likely the only person he felt he could truly bond with, and despite everything he still dealt with it, for the sake of the people around him, but when his father commands him to marry a girl he has never met (likely while he is still processing his grief) in the name of ‘duty’, it is the straw that breaks the camel's back. He sees that everything he has worked towards is meaningless as he will never reach a point where his father will be satisfied with him. That his father will continue to take and take from him until there is nothing left but a soulless puppet that will continue to speak his words even after his reign has ended. Every burden he has carried, every grievance he has hidden, every struggle he’s overcome and the hard work he’s put into building himself a true heir of O’Khasis— it all amounts to nothing.

So he leaves. 

Now, let me ask you: what would you do if you were a runaway prince escaping the crushing weight of expectation? Take a bunch of money from your no-good dad? Buy a boat ticket and live a new life in luxury on the other side of the world? Never work a day again and dive head first into careless relaxation? Surely, you wouldn’t look twice at a dilapidated little village on the coast. Wouldn’t bother to stop by and lift a finger to help it. You're free, you have a whole life of sweet exemption to look forward to. You wouldn’t give it the time of day.

“You have a rigid back and steady hands, either metaphorically or physically. Is it nature or nurture?”

Garroth finds himself in Phoenix Drop— a rickety dead-end little town as far away from home as possible. He stays, and he helps. He keeps the village running, he helps the Lord wherever he can. He takes in the broken, starved boy he finds in the woods. He does whatever he can to improve the lives of the people around him. Why? He owes them nothing, he’s spent a lifetime crushed under the weight of people's expectations and he turns around just to find himself carrying the weight of more lives on his shoulders. He is doing everything he was taught and everything he ran away from. 

But this time it’s different. This time, he sees how he’s helping. There’s no more grating voice telling him none of the effort matters. He has a rigid back and steady hands, metaphorically and physically. For the first time in his life, he can see with his own two eyes that his effort is worth it. There isn’t doubt and lies and corruption floating in and out of his mind. Just the warm, honest smiles of the people he helps. He feels it and it is real. The question “Is it nature or nurture?” is genuine: Is Garroth helping these people out of the kindness of his heart or because it was what he was always told to do, and now that he is without the purpose he was assigned he’s leaning on something familiar? Personally, I think that’s for the audience to decide. I myself would say a mixture of both, leaning more so towards nature. But I digress. 

It’s better then, when he helps and can see that he is doing good, but of course, that peace is not to last him. With the Lord’s death and impending turmoil of Phoenix Drop, Garroth’s role in the village shifts drastically to closer resembling the role he ran away from. People are treating him with near as much kindness anymore, no. The most forgiving are losing faith and the least are blaming him. Blaming him for failing to meet their expectations. Now, as things are deteriorating, he has more than enough reason to leave. He gave it the good ol’ college try, and he failed. With the sentiments of the village becoming scarily familiar to that of his father, he should just say “fuck it” and head on off to that faraway land where no one will know his name.

But still, he doesn’t. We see him in Rebirth and how desperate he is to fix the village, to make it work. Even when everyone else is telling him to give up, he refuses. Even sinking, a captain stays on his ship. (Side note: it’s scenes like this that cause me to start tearing up people’s lawns whenever I see takes that label Garroth as having a “fear of responsibility”). And he is completely ready to either make things work or die trying, regardless of what stands in his way. 

‘You are tired of being steady. You dream of feeling alive. Not that you aren't, but, sometimes, it's hard to remember that there is a heart between your ribs.’

Aphmau wasn’t the first person he saved. Zenix had likely been around for at least a year beforehand. However Zenix was a hothead teenager in need of guidance, which simply made him become another responsibility Garroth set upon himself. Don’t get me wrong, he definitely cares for him, but their relationship is far different than the one he has with Aphmau. 

With Aphmau, he finally has someone who shares the burden. Not only that, but sharing it willingly and with a smile on her face. He’s not used to having a person who presents themselves as an equal sharer of responsibility. Much less, someone who is willing and wanting for him to put his burdens on her (At least, that’s how he sees it). He can’t remember the last time he truly allowed himself to be vulnerable with someone. All the desires he’s pushed down start to bubble back up again, and he starts to imagine things he’d long tried to do away with. He sees Aphmau as a strong leader, one whose idealism is a strength and not a weakness, and how she accomplishes things he never quite got around to doing. An admiration grows for her, yes, but that’s not what makes her different. The difference, he sees, is her vulnerability. How she allows herself to be vulnerable around him. How despite the brave face she puts on, she has just as much fear that she isn’t enough. And she tells him this, directly, because she trusts him. And all of a sudden he realizes that if she can be strong to the rest of the world, and yet still let him see her weakness, her softness, then maybe, just maybe

“Your love is where you breathe.”

He can take his armor off, too.

[kookoofufu]

I love that what makes characters respected and honorable in One Piece isn't what side they're on but whether they have an ideology they wholeheartedly believe in and fight for, even if it's considered impossible or doesn't make sense to other people.

This is established right at the beginning with Luffy's dream to be king of the pirates and Zoro's dream to be the world's greatest swordsman. Their refusal to back down is honorable because they're 100% committed, even if it means dying.

This also applies to Sanji's refusal to hurt women. To many readers it's a dumb standard since he won't fight certain battles, even if it puts him and his friends in danger, but it's what he truly believes and his commitment to his principles is respected. This is what makes him asking Robin for help in Wano so powerful— he's relying on his friends without feeling like a burden, even though his principles can be inconvenient for them.

This extends beyond the Straw Hats, of course. We respect Koby and Garp even though they're part of the Marines because of their commitment to justice, to the point where we forgive Garp for not saving Ace. We see his internal conflict and understand the choice he makes, even if we don't agree with him.

Bellamy is my favorite tragic example of this. Bellamy defends Doflamingo even after being betrayed, refuses to back down, fights Luffy even though he doesn't have to, and we still root for him. Bellamy was so adamant about not believing in dreams, so committing himself to an impossible ideal is admirable and significant character development, even if he makes the wrong choice.

More recently, Buggy wanting to be King of the Pirates makes him 100x more endearing—he's defying two former warlords to commit to his impossible dream because its what he truly wants. He isn't going to succeed, even Buggy probably knows he doesn't stand a chance against Shanks and Luffy, but he's going for it anyway which is HUGE since he's spent his whole life as a coward.

Not to mention characters like Gin, Katakuri, King, etc, who are all likeable antogonists because they're honorable.

And this is what makes Akainu a great villain. We all hate that mf but he truly believes in his idea of absolute justice. I think the biggest difference in why we like other characters and hate Akainu for having the same ideological commitment is that his first instinct isn’t being willing to die but willing to kill, and that makes him incredibly dangerous.

[kortsitron]

What if there was a niran x gn reader where they where childhood best friends are separated by unforeseen circumstances (likely the vishkar things) , only to meet years later in a bustling city.

Unexpected meeting

✮ PARING Niran Pruksamanee × Gender Neutral! Reader

✮ WARNINGS fluff, childhood friends, platonic, ______ as (y/n), flashback

✮ SUMMARY After not seeing Niran for years, hearing all the rumors and accusations toward him - you meet him again and he has some explaining to do.

✮ A/N Not gonna lie, writing this made me realize that I really need to get back into writing more often again. It’s fun, and the request I got lately made me realize how fun writing is. I just need to write more often, so I can be as satisfied (or even more) with my writing as much as I was satisfied with it back then. Also thank you so much for the request and I hope you are going to enjoy this one shot! ♡

It’s been years since the last time you heard from him and it’s been even longer since the last time you saw him.

“Do not worry, ______. I’ll be back soon. It’s just three years.” Niran said with a smile. It almost never left his face. “I’ll call you everyday and text you as often as possible.” He added, as continued packing his stuff. His platinum blond hair falling on his shoulders.

“I know, but it’s going to be so boring without you.” You rolled your eyes. You leaned onto Niran. “You can’t just leave me like that. You pouted. Niran shook his head and chuckled when he saw the look on your face. “Don’t laugh at me, I’m serious.”

Niran giggled again and blew a raspberry. You gasped in a dramatic way, causing Niran to chuckle again. You blew a raspberry back and he blew one back again.

You lost contact with after he joined Vishkar Academy. You believed Vishkar demanded of him to not share anything related to what was going on in the area of the said academy.

You sighed as you thought about him. You’ve been best friends since childhood and even though you haven’t seen him in such a long time, he was often on your mind.

Especially after the conflict with Vishkar.

You still remember when you saw his face on the news. He was called a criminal and he became wanted in 17 countries. You had a hard time when you heard that.

Niran Pruksamanee was a criminal.

Media made him sound like he was a spoiled brat that was stealing Vishkar innovation and did not want to give it back.

But you knew it was all lies. You knew him too well and you were sure there was a good reason why he took the said innovation and ran away from the Vishkar Academy with it.

You blinked a few times, coming back to reality. You zooned out thinking about Niran again, but no one seemed to notice.

You fixed your hair and realized how busy the city suddenly was. But you weren’t surprised, late afternoon - some people were coming back from work, some were going out. It was getting dark.

You put the headphones on, enjoying your favorite playlist while you made your way home.

The city was beautiful at this hour. Colorful light and neon coming from the tall buildings, stores.  The sky was getting darker and darker with every minute. The stars and moon slowly appeared, making the scenery even more eye pleasing.

You hummed in satisfaction as you looked up, observing the sky as the more stars became visible.

And then, you bumped into someone. Your headphones fell from your head and you almost fell as well. Luckily for you, the stranger’s strong hands grasped you tightly for a little moment, before he bent to grab your headphones.

His scent was quite familiar. It was floral and sweet. You haven’t smelled anything like since…

“Apologies. Are you alright?” His voice was melodic, almost angelic. You looked up at his face and your breath hitched.

Niran Pruksamanee himself was standing right in front of you.

“Niran…?” Your voice was barely a whisper. Your hand was shaking as you gently touched his face, you needed to check if he was real, that it wasn’t some dream and he wouldn’t disappear. But he didn’t. He was there, leaning into your touch, with the same smile he had when you saw him for the very last time.

“Yes?” He asks. “It’s been a while.”

You couldn’t help yourself at that moment. You threw yourself at him, hugging him tightly, not wanting him to go ever again.

“Woah!” He chuckled as you made him lose balance for a moment, but he regained it and wrapped his arms around you. “There, there. I missed you too.” He patted your back as he buried his face in your hair.

“We have so much catching up to do!” You haven’t been so happy in a while.

“Absolutely! We have so much to ta–”

“And you’ve got some explaining to do.” You cut him off and looked up at him with a serious expression on your face. Niran was caught off guard. He took a deep breath, then nodded. He knew you were right. You haven’t seen in so long, you heard so many things. You deserved to know the truth.

“Yes, you’re right. You deserve an explanation.” A soft smile returns to his face. “But not here.”

You hummed softly, finally taking your headphones back, putting them over your neck, before you took Niran’s hand in yours. “Then let’s go, I know a place where we can talk.”

“Make yourself at home.” Your voice was soft spoken. “I’ll make us some tea and we can talk.” You entered the kitchen as you began to make tea for the two of you. 

He followed you, his hazel eyes sparkled with curiosity as he looked around the kitchen. You noticed this. "You can look around my apartment, I won’t mind." You shrugged. Niran gave you a quick nod before disappearing from the kitchen.

“I really like your apartment.” He commented, hearing you say “thank you” while he continued looking around. He saw pictures on your walls of the two of you from the good old days. The said pictures made Niran’s mind flow with pleasant memories, making his heart flutter.

He did not realize he was zoning out for a few minutes while staring at the pictures until he heard your voice. “Tea’s ready.” He turned to look at you as he watched you take a seat on the couch. He sat next to you, taking the warm mug in his hands. “Can you now tell what has been going on since the last time we saw each other?”

“About that…” He began, his face was serious as started explaining everything that happened. Like you suspected, Vishkar demanded for him to not contact anyone, because without their consent, nothing was supposed to be shared.

Then he explained the conflict he got himself into with Vishkar. He explained what the biolight was and why he made it. Niran wished to give his biolight to the world, but Vishkar disagreed and demanded for Niran to turn his technology over, claiming the ownership of the biolight. 

But Niran ignored their demands and he ran away with his invention. And that’s how he became wanted in 17 countries.

You stayed quiet, thinking what you should say. This is not the explanation you expected to hear, but at least everything was clear and you knew the truth.

You finally spoke up again. “You’re not wanted here, right?”

“I believe I am safe here. But I’m still careful.”

“Do you need a place to stay?” You asked, your hands landing on top of his. “I wouldn’t mind. In fact I would like that a lot.”

He smiled softly, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “Yes, I would like that a lot as well.”

[angelsparkls]

all my favorite fics that no one asked for:

* = my absolute favorites

multiple ship fics:

All in the Cards (series)* - (haikyuu) MY FAVORITE FIC OF ALL TIME! although lengthy it is such a good read and has a lot of popular ships! the au is such a cool concept and the plot and characters are thought out so well it’s amazing and should definitely check it out

The Crystal Miracles - (kuroko no basket) based off steven universe but coming from someone who has never watched steven universe the fic was not super dependent on it and was just based around the plot of steven universe (apparently i talked about with my friend who actually watched steven universe) i thought it was cool so definitely recommend! also a bit lengthy but worth it

friends, worlds apart - (haikyuu) it’s mainly bokuaka but there’s other ships so i decided to put this fic here. tbh i don’t remember it too well but i do know it well enough to know that it was really good! it’s a pretty long hogwarts au fic and is based off basic plot points from harry potter but it’s not too similar imo so overall a good read!

Haikyuu:

Death Threats & Wine Bottles - (semishira) domestic semishira. that’s all. it’s cute. there’s nothing to not like about it.

Saltwater Room - (kuroken) i think i read this because of a recommendation and man it was funny. i enjoyed all the fun little bits of kenma and hinata just being friends but also the more serious angsty parts and having the whole conflict with kuroo and kenma’s dream. *sigh* it’s good but lengthy. worth it in my opinion but i like long fics so maybe not your cup of tea

When I Fall In Love - (semishira) i can’t really remember this fic since i read it a long time ago but i do remember liking it! the band au/pianist au concept was cool seeing it with semishira and they are so supportive of each other after they get over their annoyance! it’s not as long as the other long fics i’ve recommended but definitely give it a shot!

Cover My Thoughts In Gold - (bokuaka) some classic soulmate au because they are soulmates so why not have a fic that has them be confirmed soulmates

True Ending - (kuroken) marriage proposal in the best and cutest way possible and one that perfectly fits them 🥺

Cat’s Out of the Bag - (kuroken) it’s just some cute little scenes of kenma as a shapeshifter and kuroo not knowing. it’s quick but so so cute how they interact

Maybe, Probably - (sakuatsu) cute hogwarts au of slytherin atsumu and ravenclaw sakusa. yeah that’s basically it

Rose Gold - (semishira) ROYALTY AU SEMISHIRA AAAAAAA definitely one of my favorite considering that I actually never see a royalty au centered around them

Vibrant - (semishira) im a sucker for soulmate aus but this soulmate au especially was such a cute concept!

A Musical World Thanks To You - (semishira) soulmate au fic but you can hear songs that your soulmate is listening to! it really is such a good concept with semi asking shirabu to be in the talent show with him and perform a song and yk yk big build up to the moment hehe

Dog visits - (kyouhaba) the classic “oh he’s different than i thought what do i do now” and yahaba being soft with kyoutani’s dog is everything and kyoutani not knowing how to deal with yahaba barging into his life 😍

be my honeybee - (kyouhaba) tw: implied/referenced child ab/se if you aren’t comfortable with that please don’t read <3 but it is a good fic and addresses real issues especially with kyoutani not really having anyone to help him until yahaba came around. it’s a bit long and made me cry a little so that’s why it’s good

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back - (kyouhaba) everyone has superpower abilities!! i always love aus like this so it’s not a surprise it’s one of my favorites. it also touches on mental health in the form of kyoutani doing too much for people when he doesn’t need to and always sacrificing himself for others even when it makes him unhappy. it’s so good tho if you ever decide to read it because it is a bit long

rewrite the stars - (kuroken) arranged marriage au where kenma and kageyama are going to get married but by the end they realize that they are marrying the wrong people and its so cute seeing kenma come to that realization

Kuroko No Basket:

The Frog in the Well - (midotaka) it has been a while since i read this fic but i do remember laughing about this and just thinking it was overall cute especially with the whole aspect of being a loose retelling of “The Frog-King” and i know two other people who also read this and thought it was cute so there’s that

The Witch in the Tower - (murahimu) this is from the same series and author as the previous knb fic i recommended because this fic is also based around a fairy tale and i found this really cute because they are kinda domestic in this fic since there’s just an adopted child in a tower… anyway

Feels Like Winning - (murahimu) just some soulmate au for them because murasakibara not knowing how to deal with feelings <3

Only with You - (kikasa) a cute fic for this surprisingly underrated ship! it’s not too long but encompasses these idiots’ relationship in this fic perfectly

Claws and paws - (murahimu) this shapeshifter au is so cute because like height difference 😍 and also the whole idea of like himuro being this tiny cat compared for murasakibara is funny to me. it’s kind of long but i enjoyed it!

Other Fandoms:

Boy Problems - (mirio togata x tamaki amajiki) an OG for me it’s actually one of my first bookmarks and it’s a cute little oneshot that reminds me how oblivious and stupid these idiots are

the blind leading the blind - (childe x zhongli) it’s not really focused on relationship but it really touches on the betrayal that childe feels after realizing that zhongli gave his gnosis to signora behind his back and i think this fic is so very cool for creating that scenario and executed it perfectly!

kintsugi - (teru minamoto x akane aoi) oh lord. oh god. this fic actually kinda broke me. it’s a very bittersweet fic that makes me go OMG YAY and then oh oh oh oh /neg but it does end happily. at what cost tho. it’s so so so good tho definitely recommend. a little lengthy but not too bad

Look At Me Like That - (momotarou mikoshiba x aiichirou nitori) THIS FIC SUMS UP THIS SHIP PERFECTLY! ITS SO GOOD! like the whole thingg of ai having unrequited feelings for rin but is now in love with this idiot momo is exactly how i see their relationship and having that tied up in this one fic.

[nocturnalazure]

For those interested, I have made a music video with all the Xmas Special shots!

As (ominously) explained by Grimmy, this was completely non-canon, so not really an update per se. There are too many impossibilities. Sam and Laurie have a 15-year age gap, but they look almost the same age in this shooting. Theo would have been way too old to still be alive (although I did make him look older than he was in the story when he died, thank you @danjaley for the grandfather poses!). Elsie would never have been adopted by Ivy and given to Laurie. Even Sam and Nathaniel's conflict was cleared too easily.

I have already shown two Christmases at the Golzine's, and those were part of the story itself. The first one was in 2014, when Nathaniel and Ivy had just gotten together. The second Christmas was in 2018, and that was when Sam and Nathaniel's relationship had deteriorated. But this time, for once, I wanted to see all the family members together, as they could have been if they had all been alive and closer in age. In this one, Ange is over the moon: she has felt isolated for so long, she would have loved taking care of a big family. Theo is grumpy, first because he's getting old, but also because he still sees Ash as Nathaniel's mistake and therefore doesn't consider him part of the family. He can't help but snap at his son, and Nathaniel can't help but be resentful. Nate pulls a face when he gets out of the car because he dreads spending a whole evening getting criticized by his father. Which starts the moment Nate sets foot in the house: he's not wearing a tie and that is unacceptable! On the other hand, Theo's soft spot for Sam is clearly visible when she gives him a peck on the cheek and he's the one who claps the loudest when Ange presents her cake! :D (the cake itself is the baked angel food cake, because of course that is what Ange would bake)

As for Sam and Laurie, I've always described their relationship as 'healthy competition'', but I have a feeling that Sam would get on Laurie's nerves sometimes: she's quite a handful, let's be honest. :D That, and she is still the favorite child. But they love teasing each other, and when they're not playfully fighting over who the actual heir is, they sure know how to work together. Ivy plays it cool but she is so proud of her kids (I love that pic of her with Laurie and Sam!). And she's generous in accepting Ash unconditionally.

Laurie and Ash would have gotten along like two peas in a pod. That's why I showed the two of them having a walk in the snow, engrossed in their conversation. And I think Nathaniel would have been really happy for an opportunity to get to know Ash.

Erik (who does not wear the ankh necklace, which means that his father is also alive and well :)) would have felt very awkward, being formally introduced as Laurie's boyfriend. He's very much aware that he's lower on the social scale and he would have been dead scared of Theo! xD Laurie would have briefed Erik in detail about what he should do and not do in front of his grandfather, like which fork to use and above all: "wear a tie!" Even so, Erik couldn't resist rolling up his sleeves and loosening his tie before sneaking away for a smoke. xD

Did you notice the little nods to the actual story? Erik lighting Nathaniel's cigarette like Seth has done a thousand times, Nathaniel and Ivy taking a bath together (which is how they got busted by Sen aeons ago xD), Theo kicking Laurie's ass at chess, Ash finding comfort in petting a dog, Sam and Ash platonically sharing a single bed like they did at the dorm, and of course Laurie and Erik being together in this AU, even if nothing dramatic binds them this time.

I also wanted a moment in which Laurie is the center of everyone's attention and his whole family gathers around him. The poor boy needs it so much. The spontaneous expression on his face in that unused screenshot below breaks my heart. It's like he knows this is all a dream. 💔

I had written a long, depressing post about how 2023 was one of my worst years yet on a personal level, but I will keep that one to myself, it’s out of my heart now that it’s written down. Instead of dwelling on the bad stuff, I had a lot of fun shooting this non-canon update. I’m grateful to have my little space on here, and the incredible luck to have you guys to share my story with and inspire me with your talent. I’d rather focus on that for the year to come!

Wishing you a wonderful New Year's Eve! Thank you for your support throughout 2023. ❤️

[bunniklino]

TPOT 10 REVIEW!!!!

what a gooooood episode, man, there's so much i have to say about it

i'm so happy that sam thornbury has switched tpot back to being more character focused since tpot 7 and not challenge focused, which is part of why i don't like episode 6

now about the episode itself, the challenge was to escape your teammate's nightmare, which is a really good gateway to more character development, and most of them are very well excecuted (except for one which i'll get to later). i'm not gonna talk about all of them, but i will mention the most notable ones

just not's dream was in the style of early BFB, but no one except for JN is around. book however, unlike the rest of the team, is trapped inside a jawbreaker, and no one can hear her from inside it. meanwhile, the rest of JN try to look for where she is, and when they find out she's in the jawbreaker and get her out, price tag tells her more about themself

book's nightmare was being left behind and having no more friends after her conflict with taco occured. even when she was freed from the jawbreaker, she still felt very lonely, having been forgotten, or abandoned, by all her old friends. that is until price tag starts talking to her, which creates a very sweet dynamic between the two that i adore, and when ice cube goes "hmmm :[" while looking at book and price tag at the end opens up the door for some icy-book interaction at some point?? that would be cool

SPEAKING OF THE S!!!! let's talk about them huh?? the S (and clock) are transported to winner's nightmare: past memories of loser, and how loser took what the two did together and ran off to become famous by himself, and winner learns to let go of him with the help of clock, which not only saves the S from elimination, but it also ends the winner-clock conflict

i am so happy they finally ended this arc, it's something that made me interested in the S in the first place, and it's so satisfying to see that it's finally over!! also, i hate loser even more now. at first he was just a gary sue but now he's just a straight up asshole for ruining what he had with winner. i hate loser sm i never actually liked him

every nightmare was great, except for Are You Okay (which was still good but it's my least favorite)

they were in pen's nightmare, and it was that he'd be arrested for not paying his debt of i think 200 vigintillion dollars?? and they had to get him out of that

pen's debt was never something i thought twice about, so i wasnt entirely interested in this one. it was still funny though!! so i don't mind it all that much

this episode was really good!! i love the direction tpot is going in!! there was a lot more i couldnt explain in this review since i wanted to keep it short (like death pact again's plot) so watch the episode for yourself!!!

[team7-headquarter]

Naruto Classic is so fucking good and critical and it never meant to hide how wrong was the system or how awful was Hiruzen's view of politics.

I've just reached the introductory speech Hiruzen gave before starting the preliminary fights for the third stage of the Chuning Exams. Hiruzen starts by clarifying the truth about the Chuning Exams: it's not about friendship or goodness of the heart, but rather “a war-in-miniature between all the allied shinobi lands”.

It flew over my head when I first read it as a child.

At the moment, after years of conflict fighting over land and resources, the nations who were geographically close to each other decided to make an alliance and create a stage where they could show off their strength and challenge the other villages, without so much death. Hiruzen calls their alliance “temporary” and said that the Chuning Exams were a better way, compared to the old conflicts between territories.

To which Naruto responds that it is the stupidest thing he has ever heard, naturally.

There's something about the way the jonins stand in the background, something about how you can almost feel the memories of the last big shinobi war. To avoid another war, to avoid anything like that, those lands decided to replicate the violence through the Chuning Exams. Quoting Hiruzen:

“... It serves as an arena wherein, for the honor of their respective homelands... Young shinobi may fight... To death, if need be!”

The war never went away, it just became a sort of exclusive event.

My favorite part is that almost all the kids of the Konoha 12 decided to question the true purpose of the Chuning Exams. You got Tenten and Ino and Sakura and Kiba and Naruto boldly facing the Hokage on it, while others acted surprised or just endured it. Suddenly, there's no more fairytale or romantic side to the shinobi life. You are a tool, a weapon expected to die for your land, and if you are not strong enough you are a disgrace that is gonna be forgotten to die somewhere and if you are strong enough you're gonna be sent to die at the battlefield...

They even invite the rich and powerful and the most influential to watch the examinations, so they can decide what Hidden Village they should commission for their missions. They are indeed selling a product: their ability to kill if necessary.

Hiruzen's speech makes me sick. It is imperialism taken to the extreme of a mercenary ruled world.

Here's the transcription of the following passage because holy shit:

Hiruzen — and when one land is strong in battle and the village coffers overflow with the fruits of the many outside commissions this begets, then that village may say to its neighbors, "beware, for we possess prowess and riches and the influence of political power!"

Kiba — So?! Why is it necessary to stake our lives and fight... ?!

Iruka — ...

Hiruzen — The strength of a country is derived from the strength of its village and the village draws strength from the shinobi who live there and the greatest strength of those shinobi only emerges in the midst of a desperate life and death battle!

Now it makes sense why Orochimaru and Jiraiya pushed Sasuke and Naruto to the brink of death so they could "unlock" their hidden strength. It's the way Hiruzen thought, the way he probably taught them. Tsunade at least was gentler with Sakura, even if she broke most of her bones and was strict as the rest of her team.

Another Hiruzen quote, so it can fully hit the tone of his opinions:

“As you struggle for the sake of your very lives and your people, you help to fulfill the dream that was envisioned by your ancestors.”

Mind you, Hashirama dreamed of a world where kids didn't have to fight and get killed. That year, Hiruzen allowed 12 genin kids to participate in the fights, just because their instructors told him they were ready--- in retrospect, the Chuning Exams were a tragedy waiting to happen.

“To preserve the balance of power at the risk of lives is the essence of the friendship in the world of shinobi”l

At some point he tells the kids they are taking not an ordinary test and I think that he would finally tell them they should retire if they value their lives or something like that. All the other jounins tried their best to scare them away, okay? However, he was talking about how they could risk the dignity and prestige of their villages.

I've never been more thankful for the way Gaara told him to shut up and go on with the exam.

Those panels are a masterpiece. They make it very clear that there's nothing romantic about the shinobi system as Hiruzen conceived it. All those "peaceful years" were superficial and consisted of some of the worst crimes ever committed like a massacre, human experimentation, making the children fight to preserve the power balance, etc. they were a lie, one that explains many things.

Tsunade sending a team of rookies after Sasuke doesn't sound so crazy with this in mind.

It's just natural for the jonins. That's the world they grew up in, the one they learned how to move through. But the kids??????

The Konoha 12 was already revolutionary in their thinking regarding the system. You can see in their eyes how they refuse to accommodate such standards, how they plan to change it all.