#wildly different from someone binary trans using it

[catboybiologist]

Be honest: do you think there are femboys who aren't just eggs?

Yes, and tbh I resent that their existence is questioned so much. And I know this is gonna be considered a Bad Take by many people I've fostered a community with, so uh. Yeah.

As a former femboy, and current dykey/tomboyish trans woman, gender nonconformity within your actual gender is an essential part of a trans or genderqueer identity. In a lot of ways, my transition goals are the inverse of being a femboy- I'm going from a feminine man to a masculine woman. And yet, the trans community doesn't question my feminimity as a masculine woman in the same places where many people would question the masculinity of a feminine man. And don't even get me started on where NB identities fit into all of this. This is largely coming from the same place where people are okay with women wearing pants, but men or AMABs in general wearing skirts is Bad (tm).

Like don't get me wrong. The caricature of the Bad Trans pushing all the femboys to become eggs is a wildly overexaggerated, and I've met many, many femboys online that used that caricature to excuse rampant transphobia. But. I hate that there's a but. But.... I literally experienced it myself many times during my femboy days, especially online. Here's a short list:

-Had a transmed bombard me with harassing messages and comments on reddit telling me that I was a "fencesitter" and I just needed to "fucking transition already and stop making trans people look bad"

-Had a trans woman I knew irl shove an estradiol pill in my face, and try to order me to take it, in front of a group of people I wasn't even fully comfortable presenting as a femboy to, until she was eventually asked by someone else to stop.

-Had several comments indicating that I should be force femmed in femboy subreddits

-Had many, many DMs trying to tell me I was a "failed man" that should just transition already

And to clarify- all of this is so, so mild compared to transphobia that myself and others face. But it is a very real thing that happens. To many femboys, I think this is the first time they've received any kind of queerphobia or questioning of their identity, so it feels far worse in their heads than it really actually is. And, to be fair, I think it mostly happens from the more gender binary minded cis community than it comes from trans people- but as I've said, I've had it coming from trans women both irl and online.

I've also tangentially noticed that it seems to be transmed adjacent. Not saying that this anon is, or others who try to encourage femboys to explore their gender, but there certainly is a correlation. If its difficult for you to acknowledge cis gender nonconformity, then its easy to see that extending to a lack of understanding of nonbinary people or others with different trans experiences.

Every time one of these things happened, it didn't put me any closer to transition. It made me feel unsafe. It made me feel on the spot, and scared, and almost outed.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again- if you want historical parallels to femboys, we have a perfect example in drag. Drag is performative, over the top femininity that has become its own artform, style, and means of expression in a way that is intrinsically tied to gender nonconformity. Being a femboy is also all of those things. And guess what? Many drag queens have used it as a way to explore their own gender and realize that they're trans. There are also many who are cis, and remain confident in that identity. Is the percentage of trans people among people who have done drag at some point higher than the general population? Of fucking course- its one of the few places where exploring gender is encouraged and celebrated. Of course trans people flock to that. And the exact same thing is true of femboys. Are a higher proportion of femboys trans or eggs than the general population. Of course. It's a great venue for trans people to explore their identities. But even more of them are

Am I saying you're a bad person if you encourage femboys and gender nonconforming people to consider the possibility that they're trans? Of fucking course not. It was the gentle, affirming pressure with respect and care for my comfort levels from several incredible trans women I know irl that eventually made me confident enough to start HRT. Their continually support is a key factor in my social transition plans for the future. I needed that pressure, and I think everyone, including people who aren't actively engaging in gender nonconformity, needs some push to question their gender and start unlocking cis+. But to be blunt, questioning whether cis femboys even exist is not gentle, comfortable, and affirming pushes.

[menlove]

when ppl say "the line between butches & trans men/cis drag queens & trans drag queens/etc is thin" I think yall hear "these identities are the exact same and I am going to call every butch a man and trans women are just drag queens"

when in reality what people are trying to point out to you is that when you go into the real offline world and mingle w the community, there is a huge overlap between these identities. not even just historically, although that's a huge part of it as well, but right now in 2024 there are huge overlaps

like for example I'm a transmasc butch. I'm on testosterone & I've had top surgery and I have a beard. in public, I get read as a man a lot. if I do get read as transmasc, I rarely get clocked as butch and most people assume I'm a binary trans man. I relate to many experiences of trans men.

there's people who blur the line constantly within our communities. there's drag queens who identify as cis but involve themselves heavily in the transfem community bc they relate so deeply to their experiences & live a similar life and just don't choose to label themselves as trans for whatever personal reason. there's butches who do the same. there's trans women who are also drag queens and their drag personas are wildly different from their irl presentation and they identify as queens first. there's nonbinary drag queens who don't want to fit in either category. there's trans men who are not binary men at all but choose the label "trans man" for convenience or broad understanding.

like we aren't telling you there's no difference between us or that you shouldn't respect someone's gender identity. but when you actually go into our communities and interact w them instead of screaming and throwing fits online about how people identify, there's a ton of overlap

[decolonize-the-everything]

calling lesbians who aren't okay with "trans men lesbians" radfems is weird as hell when "trans men are just confused lesbians" IS a widespread radfem stance. if you support them whatever but it's disingenuous to act like lesbians who don't want to date trans men are radfems for that

I think policing relationships and gender and such in the queer community is genuinely one of the worst things that's happened to us in the last 20 years.

I think if you're attracted to someone or not then ok? That's it. Period.

Who cares how they identify or the words they use?

"lesbophobia"

Give me a fucking break. Show me the trans man killing lesbians. Trying to get lesbian relationships to be criminalized? To have them removed from the queer community?

You can't. Because it's not trans men doing that. It's TERFs.

"they're invading our spaces!"

Oh like a hypothetical evil cis man would invade a bathroom by pretending to be a woman?

I said radfem-lite lite for a reason ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We made up a bunch of rules for how the Other person you're attracted to identifies and then moralized it and made DNIs and started calling queer people"-phobic" based on Your own ideas of gender/relationships (good job creating a more inclusive shitty binary with rules btw) and acting like everyone who doesn't agree with Your rules and ideas is some queerphobic enemy is fucking wild.

The whole point of queerness is simply that we aren't allo cishets. That we're different. And it's something we ALL experience so we're supposed to be understanding. That sometimes people WONT have the same concept of gender as you, the same rules and that's okay. We are a community because understand each other on that. We agree and have that solidarity because we ALL experience this from people who believe that binary can NOT allow for trans people or queer relationships.

I will literally Never ever agree with anyone who disagrees any of this. They're no ally of mine or the queer community. You are wildly accepting of your siblings or you have some queerphobia to work on.

Believe whatever the hell you want but to say Specific queer people are "invading" your space is also just fucking ahistorical. For a long time lesbian was the only word even used if you presented as a woman and liked people who presented as women. Did you know that? Who cares if you were a man or woman or trans or a gender?

If you feel like how someone ELSE identifies undermines your own identity then welcome to the Same Exact reason that homophobic and transphobic straights are homophobic and transphobic!!

We make them question gender and relationships in ways that make them uncomfortable. That make them question their own relationship to gender itself. And nobody is supposed to do that. You're supposed to follow the rules. Girls aren't supposed to kiss girls. And nobody is supposed to want to transition.

And so just like we tell them, I will tell you: if there is no harm being done, then there's no foul. Mind your own business instead of worrying about someone else's.

Some lesbians having the same struggle to accept this as allo cishets do, does not mean that they are being attacked and persecuted by trans man lesbians anymore than cishet women are being persecuted by fake trans people.

Can we please be over this now?

We get enough shit from straight people trying to regulate gender, we truly do not need reinvent the same fucking dynamic in our own community.

[knackeredforever]

An overly long tumblr ramble about funny armoured sci fi protagonists because I feel like writing this right now:

The character type of armoured sci fi protagonist who barely speaks(mostly) and simultaneously mows downs hordes of aliens(most of the time) is one of my favourite type of character next to traumatised homosexuals so here are some of my thoughts and head cannons regarding some examples of them:

Part 1 Samus aran:

Samus Aran (Metroid): one of my favourite protagonists in any game ever the perfect silent protagonist in my opinion. Gaming’s og girlboss while every other female gaming character in the 80s was stereotypically feminine samus was a complete badass although I’m using hyperbole as this was in the original Metroid the frustrating glitchy (While yes wildly influential for its time) duck tape held together mess it is. Although the series would transform after one other game that hasn’t aged that well then create super Metroid one of the greatest games of all time created the Metroidvania genre and was so influential that…..

I have gotten massively off topic. This was originally about my thoughts about her one thing I love to think about is what samus is like when she’s not in combat on alien planets. I’ve always loved the idea of outside bounty hunting samus lives a relatively chill life considering she rarely takes off her helmet or even speaks. It’s canonical that a lot of people in the Metroid universe despite her fame don’t know she’s a woman. So then I doubt she gets recognised in public ever. So i imagine a scenario where samus lives in a modest house in a rural town on a planet probably somewhere in galactic federation(gf) controlled space where no one knows her as that famous universe saving bounty hunter. But as that one friendly over 6ft tall buff lady who has a large amount of pets from tons of different alien planets who she cares for obsessively but never says how or where she got them from. She occasionally goes on long “business trips” off planet probably hires someone to take care of her pets while she’s gone and Samus comes up with some excuse with what she was doing so people don’t get suspicious. If Samus wanted to she could live a life of constant fame and luxury outside of her bounty hunting in some huge mansion in a gf major planet but she enjoys the simple life outside of her demanding job despite the fact she has near infinite finances from her bounty hunting and helping out the gf so she could live any life she wants she chooses the simple one.

Also another point on samus’s sexuality and gender cause I always see a lot of discussion about that on tumblr so I thought I’d throw my hat in the ring. First off while I like the lesbian or bisexual Samus headcannons I’ve almost always seen samus as aroace personally outside of friends her closest companions are probably her many pets and she’d probably be satisfied with that when it came to romance I think when she was younger after she started bounty hunting but before the events of Metroid she probably was asked to go on lots of dates by lots of people of any gender or sexuality or even different alien species probably cause Samus is an incredibly conventionally attractive over6ft buff blonde but I doubt Samus enjoyed them, probably going on them with people cause that what normal people do but Samus didn’t have a normal upbringing. Her parents were murdered by a pirate space pterodactyl and she was raised on an alien planet by her two bird dads in complete isolation from the rest of the galaxy given a magical battle suit that defies physics even in universe and dedicated her life to stopping the people who took both her families from her. So she probably was never really exposed to normal conventions of attraction so never really found any reason to get into it and she’s happy like that. As for Samus’s gender this is also a hotly discussed topic with many seeing her as non binary of trans masc and I don’t really have an opinion on this if Nintendo were to turn around and say samus is nb or trans I would be cool with it cause it’s in perfect character for her case in point her dialogue in Metroid fusion. Discussing Adam and how her referred to her as lady while not as an insult it still is implied that no one had ever focused on Samus’s gender like that probably because it didn’t matter to them in a military environment or as a bounty hunter it probably only mattered that she could get the job done to other people. So it was never a big deal to other people and I think it’s not a big deal to Samus either she probably doesn’t care what people think her gender is which is why she isn’t going out of the way to correct people about it she simply does not consider it important I guess that means I see Samus as genderqueer but I’m not really sure regardless it dosent matter what her gender is she’s still gonna reduce the space pirates to dust anyway or any other threat to the galaxy. Anyway I think I’m done talking about Samus now I highly doubt we’ll ever get these ideas about samus built on in future games and we don’t need too there not necessary for the games or to appreciate Samus and her excellent characterisation in recent games especially dread but I certainly won’t have a problem if they do or who knows maybe the reason that they restarted the development for prime 4 was so they could implement the all important lesbian sex scene.

End of part 1 I’ll be doing a ramble on other chat that fit into this category later on originally they were all gonna be in one post but this took like an hour to write so that’s not happening welp next up is John halo so I’ll write that up some other time byyyyyyeeeee.

[kota-corner]

I can't even read comments on social media this month. I'm already seeing so much hate. One person called the rainbow flag "the r-slur flag", some people have wished horrible things on lgbt people, people call us mentally ill or demons. I'm sick of it. I don't mean to be so negative but if I'm afraid to simply hold hands with my girlfriend in public right now or politely ask "Hey can you call me Kota cause my old name makes me wildly uncomfortable and for many reasons I don't use it anymore", there's a problem.

A little over a month ago, my campus got bomb threats for a drag story hour that was hosted in our library. The kids were not exposed to anything except someone who is "different" from them. All it teaches is them to be kind. It's not about converting kids- it's about teaching kids to be kind, and if they grow up and learn they are "different" in some way, it teaches them to accept themselves. The drag queen we had was wearing a PJ outfit, nothing sexual nor revealing. They wore some makeup and a wig that was barely noticeable. All the books that were read were about diversity and acceptance, nothing about sex, sex changes(one or two books had trans characters, because yes, trans kids do exist and they always have, but it was focused purely on acceptance and tolerance, plus things not even related to gender at all), or anything that could be considered grooming- side note some people REALLY need to actually learn what grooming means and that there are actual strategies and behaviors used with it. Teaching kids that people are different and that they can still be kind is not grooming, it's called raising decent human beings that won't grow up to be a bully or bigot. Their parents were also there the whole time, there was no physical contact between the reader and the kids, and literally every kid walked out with a smile on their face, the only thing they were scared of was the police sweeping the building because of some hateful people in this world who threatened the campus.

I just wish people treated us like human beings. That's all. We wouldn't need a whole month "about us" if we were just treated fairly and equally. I am not talking about the small amount of people trying to make "animesexual" into a sexuality or people who label five year olds as trans when they really may just being engaging in gender explorative/expansive play like nearly all kids do at a young age. I'm talking about the majority of us who genuinely are a part of an oppressed community- we wanna be able to hold hands with the ones we love, be called the name we want, openly be able to say who we are in love with, and not worried about being shamed, outcasted, disowned, and at worst, assaulted or even killed for it. We are going backwards in society and I'm afraid.

Please be kind. I am begging you. I've prayed to Jesus every night for weeks begging Him to still love me. No one deserves to be ridiculed the way the lgbt community is right now. Please see us for who we are- human. This isn't about sexuality or gender, just like it wasn't just about skin color, sex assigned at birth, country of origin, or religion. It's about fear, ignorance, and the dehumanization of those who don't fit the mold. Stop being afraid and start being kind.

Love,

A very sad pansexual and non-binary person who also happens to be Christian, a cat mom, a future social worker, and a fellow human being

[the80srewinders]

Debunking Myths About Dissociative Identity Disorder

Myth 1: DID is multiple personalities the person doesn’t know about, but everyone around them does because the persons multiple personalities are wildly different in presentation and personality, talking differently, wearing wigs and are like different people. The most common DID myth.

DID is a covert disorder to the people who have it and the people around them. Most people don’t even know they’re dissociating themselves, so others wouldn’t notice. When DID is “overt” it presents itself as daydreaming, behavioral problems, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or OCD. The person usually doesn’t change clothes when an alter switches in that doesn’t like the clothes or wear wigs. The average person with DID has a covert presentation and is in the mental health system for around seven or more years before diagnosis.

Myth 2: People with DID are dangerous to themselves and others. This idea was around for a while, but the Billy Milligan case didn’t really help matters.

People with DID are often dangerous to themselves, but rarely dangerous to others. 70% of people with DID have attempted suicide, and even more have self harmed. Criminals with DID are rare, with most criminals having other traumagenic disorders instead, usually antisocial personality disorder.

Myth 3: There is an original person born in the body, an original child at the time of trauma, a whole personality that splits off and is fractured. Often associated with “the original person is the host who owns all the alters and they revolve around the original person” or “the original person is the traumatized inner child the alters form to hide.”

There is no original person born into the body. The personality starts as lots of fragments that are different modes of the child (happy me, hungry me, etc.) These parts integrate into one self state with one memory around 6-9 years old. Long lasting trauma causes dissociation, which stops the parts from integrating into one self state. The personality does not split, it was never one piece to fracture.

Myth 4: People with DID are always suffering because of it and can’t have fun in life.

People with DID suffer from persecutors, disagreements with alters, fear of never coming back when another alter switches, and trauma, but people with DID can still enjoy themselves. With psychotherapy or proper guidance, a person with DID can manage life and enjoy themselves a lot. People with DID go back and forth from suffering because of the symptoms and being able to manage them.

Myth 5: All people have alters. The alters aren’t their own self states, but integrated parts of the personality.

I call bullshit on this one. All people without DID/OSDD have integrated parts of the personality. They switch between different parts thousands of times a day. They do not have their own consciousness, opinions, perception of how they look or memories. These are parts of one consciousness in one integrated personality. An alter is a self state with its own consciousness, opinions, perception of how they look and memories that started out as one of those very parts as a child that integrate in people without DID/OSDD. All people have parts of the personality but not all people have alters.

Myth 6: Most people with DID color their hair the whole rainbow, are alt/goth egirls and eboys, afab non binary or trans ftm, and are edgy and homicidal and liberal/communist with an intimidating demeanor and use TikTok.

This is the most fake idea of a person with DID. In reality, people with DID hold all values, beliefs and aesthetics. Many people with DID never used TikTok, and the ones who do are often uneducated on their own disorder. Some people who claim to have DID on TikTok are faking because they think it’s the trend, when most people think poorly of someone for having DID, feel sad for them and don’t think it’s cool, or never heard of DID, and if they have it’s a stereotype. There is no aesthetic associated with DID. Don’t try to associate an aesthetic with it either, thanks and you’re welcome. From an actual DID system.

Myth 7: People with DID don’t have fictives. All people with DID have all of these alters: the little that holds the trauma that caused DID and is a version of who the person was at the time, is stuck in trauma time, is frightened, and acts like a child when it fronts; the protector that fronts to get abused for the host, and always remember the host is the original child because why not; the persecutor that internalizes the abuser to protect the person from the abuser by making them more like the abuser and torturing the person in their own head to hold the abusers values; and the gatekeeper, the manager of the persons head that keeps the alters in order and makes the alters switch when it wants because all fear the mighty gatekeeper.

People with DID often have fictives. Once the brain learns to develop alters in response to trauma or stress that it can’t process into one of the alters that exist, the brain never stops doing this. If the subconscious brain sees traits in a fictional character it deems the alters need, it will introject that character. Autistic people with DID often have fictives, sometimes many.

Myth 8: Switching is always noticeable to others. The person comes to in a place they don’t remember going to.

Switching looks like a brief daydream or zoning out for a few seconds. Most people wouldn’t know they saw the person switch. Amnesia of the switch itself covers up amnesia of what the alter did. The person will usually not even know they switched. They’ll feel like they were zoning out or like what happened was a dream, if they notice anything. Most people have no idea they switched alters until they find out they have DID. Its covert even from the person who has it.

Notes:

Alter egos are not alters. Alter egos are consciously created personas, often by celebrities. Alters are created subconsciously.

People with DID can have the “typical” alters I listed. Not all people with DID have all of the “typical” alters. It varies by person.

Alters are not their own people and are not supposed to act as if they were. Different alters shouldn’t have different partners without the partners consent. DID is not an excuse for adultery.

If one alter does something all the alters are responsible. They share the same body that did it, they all have to pay for their actions in the same body. Alters are not an excuse for mistakes and crime.

[agwitow]

What are your thoughts on these topics? 1.)How does nonbinary identity differ from transgender identity? 2.)Do LGBTQ-inclusive sex ed programs prevent homophobic harassment in schools? 3.)How does the medical establishment treat transgender people?

Hello Nonny,

Again, I'm not an expert on any of these. I'm a trash gremlin writer.

1) On a semantic level, nonbinary includes transgender as it refers to anything outside of the gender binary. On a practical level, being nonbinary or transgender or any other identity is for the individual to decide. If someone tells me they're nonbinary, cool. Then they're nonbinary. If they say they're trans, awesome. Then they're trans. If they told me one thing and then later change their mind, great! They know themselves better now and I'm happy for them.

2) I have done no research on this, so I do not know. I feel that would be the case as one of the ways to fight against bigotry and all sorts of -isms is to educate people.

3) Again, I've done no research on this, but even then I know that it varies wildly from place to place. There always seems to be a lot of negative news coming out of the US in regards to how trans people are treated, but even that varies based on state and city. And I'm not American, so... *shrug*

It's great that you're curious about these things, Nonny, but I recommend you try googling for news and journal articles on these topics. If you are part of an educational institution that has access to @jstor , I would recommend using them to do some research.

Best of luck on your journey of learning!

xoxo

[eroticcannibal]

Pretty much every time I've seen someone use "abled ND", it was specifically in the context of "ablebodied ND", and not "not disabled". From the absolute beginning of this shitshow people have been saying, repeatedly, that their intent is not to say that ND people aren't disabled. Remember that this whole stupid fucking drama started because ND people wanted to join a physically disabled support community.

Here's the thing: we're all disabled. But speaking as someone who is psychotic, autistic, AND unable to walk... the needs and experiences of those with physical disabilities aren't the same as those who are ND and otherwise ablebodied. I don't like comparing disability to queer stuff, but both me and my buddy are trans. One of us is a binary trans woman, and one of us is genderfluid. Do we experience transphobia the same way? No, we don't. The broad strokes of transphobia are the same, but the details are wildly different. It turns out that, wow, actually, different marginalized groups experience oppression differently! Who knew!

Like I don't know how to say it any clearer, the point is not that "ablebodied NDs aren't disabled", it's that "ablebodied NDs have different experiences with disability and ableism and differing support needs."

Sorry to go off like this in your inbox ritsu that anon just fucking sent me lol

Good fucking take

[fubukiswifenoimnotjoking]

One Punch Man ship reviews bc I’m bored

WARNING: BIG ONE PUNCH MAN WEBCOMIC AND MANGA SPOILERS

GenoSai: do I even have to say it?? They compliment each other so well and are already besties. They make me so happy and I love their love. Genos literally came into Saitama’s life and brought so much new life and excitement when Saitama thought he’d never get any. Genos gives him love and appreciation all the time and never abandons him. Saitama isn’t connected to his feelings, but he cares about Genos and would do just about anything for him, to keep him safe. Genos constantly teases Saitama and Saitama grumbles and takes it with some banter, Genos is super emotional and Saitama does his best to comfort him, they fucking love shopping together and just hanging out period, they talk about the dumbest shit and somehow they still understand each other with the one brain cell they both share. It takes Genos forever to realize his feelings are deeper and Saitama has to be TOLD by their friends that he should fucking realize his feelings already. Just...I could keep going but I’ll stop! 2718873737839439/10 (let’s not talk about the age gap btw, 6 years isn’t bad and Genos is a legal adult.)

FubuSai: the stereotypical straight ship ppl gravitate to. Eh. I can see it, but at the same time I feel like they don’t completely compliment each other. Are they a hot couple? Duh. But I feel like their pride and communication issues would get in the way. 4/10

TatsuSai: hnghhhh. Someone mentioned this before, can’t remember who, but Saitama literally thinks she’s a child in canon. So that just....makes it gross. Same problems as FubuSai but worse. I’d rather see them as hesitant friends w a weird bond. 0/10

SonSai/SonicSai/idk the ship name: eh, toxic. Cant see them getting past communication issues and pride, again. Plus Sonic wants to kill his ass. Also, I just feel no romantic tension?? Even in fanfic it just falls flat for me. 3/10

MumenSai: a favorite!! Wish I saw it more, it’s very cute. Mumen is so kind and would absolutely be there to help him w self esteem and just help him be a better person period. And Saitama would have a cute little kind guy to tease and open up to. I could maybe see Mumen’s kindness getting on Saitama’s nerves when he’s in a bad mood bc Mumen almost never snaps and Saitama feels shittier, or maybe Mumen being mad at Saitama for being kinda lazy at home while Mumen is working his ass off and he’s like babe I just got home, please stop playing the fucking game and pay attention to me I have a concussion again. Prob too nitpicky on this one, heh, but 8.4/10

Genos x Sonic: wtf? As a crack ship, sure. That’s hilarious. But as a serious ship, 1.3/10 bc I could MAYBE see them bond over their love of my chemical romance or sum.

Anyone x Puri: -128382839287473828739219833468282/10. Fuck Puri.

TatsuKing: eh. Indifferent on this one too. I can see them getting along and Tatsu being the mean but supportive gf in public, but a sweet gf in private. King could be like her calm oasis of video games and sweet blonde shy bf. I sway more towards ace/aro King and queer non binary Tatsu, but this is still good. 6/10

FubuPsy/Fubuki x Psykos/idk: hell yeah!! This series NEEDS more wlw ships, both for me to project onto and to cry over. Prob my fav Fubuki ship, cuz they’ve known each other since they were young and had a tenuous friendship. I didn’t use to ship it until I saw that scene in the wc after the MA arc (u know the one) but here we are. They’re big personalities so any interaction is bound to be chaotic at first, but I really think they’d work. Pride put to the side, Psykos could be someone for Fubuki to finally rely on other than the Blizzard Bunch, someone to confide in, a badass partner to fight monsters with, talk about nothing for hours with, be a super fashionable #girlboss couple with, and someone who would really see her for who she is-especially w Psykos knowledge of her from the past. Hell, Psykos might even know her better than Tatsumaki. Fubuki could be an anchor to her like she currently is in the wc, providing a quiet comfort and making her open up little by little. Would prob be toxic at first bc of the MA arc and their desire for power, but is a very good ship I think. 9/10

Speedal/Sonic x Mumen: an old fav! Sonic would have a hard time not hating Mumen at first bc he’s the picture definition of a hero, sum he hates. But hanging out with him would show him Mumen is a GOOD guy genuinely and he’d be like ohhhh shit I’m in love w this man. Mumen would thoroughly appreciate someone to make him live a little, break some rules and stand up to ppl when they talk over him. He’d DEFINITELY be upset when finding out Sonic is an assassin, but would prob be conflicted bc he knows Sonic is a good person despite that. Would prob make Sonic give up on killing for them to be together. Sucks bc of the assassin thing and bc they haven’t met in canon! So we’re not sure how they’d interact with each other, sigh. 7.4/10

Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: a very underrated ship! To be clear, I headcanon Kama as a trans woman and so does most of the fandom. Anyway, very sweet and already built as a friendship bc of their partnership under Atomic Samurai. I can’t remember who writes fic and makes art of them on tumblr but AAAAA it’s so good! Very sweet. Basically depicted Bushi as a nervous himbo who’s honest about his feelings but scared to say them and Kama as a sweet lady who’s crazy about Bushi. Very sweet. Want more of them!! 6.1/10

OneZon/Zombieman x One Shotter: never even thought of the ship till I saw @megidolan art work! Very wholesome, and from what little we know of Shotter we know he’s a sort of nervous yet strong willed guy, and Zombieman would totally help him calm down bc he’s so chill. I could see them sharing cigarettes and talking shit on heroes while cuddling u know? 7/10 only because I don’t see enough of it but very good concept.

Mumarou/Mumen x Garou: a lot of ppl are gonna hate me for this but....I don’t like it. I’ve tried! I just—idk. I’ve read so many good fics about them that make me like it a bit, but the concept is just eh. I think their relationship is, in most reps, really cliche angsty stuff. I wish I could elaborate I just...gah! Basically, there’s better ships for the both of them imo. Sorry!! 4.3/10

Sonic x Flashy/SonFlash: yes!! Prob my fav Sonic ship. They have soooo much tension, it’s almost worse than Genos’ tension w Saitama. Flashy LITERALLY poisoned Sonic so that he wouldn’t be forced to kill him at the ninja graduation. He cares. They’ll never say it out loud, but they care. They have someone who understands what they went through in each other and someone they’re both so similar to, yet so different from. Sonic is more vocal about his expressions and let’s people know it while Flashy often keeps things to himself, they could really influence the other to be more this or that. I could see a lot of comfort with these two, and not much is needed for relationship development; they already have so much unspoken between them after meeting for the first time in years. Love it. Wish I saw it more! 10/11

KingSai: wonderful! Out of the few ppl Saitama is close to, def my second fav pick for a ship for him. There’s a post saying how Saitama doesn’t cut King off when he’s going on rants about games and stuff bc he’s talking TO Saitama, not at him like Genos tends to do on accident. They’re already great buddies! Saitama could find a shy gamer man who he can talk to about manga and stuff and also a passionate bf who could break out of his shell w Saitama and be himself with no lies. King can have someone to protect him, duh, someone who finally understands his weird sense of humor, and someone to shower him in the love and kindness he deserves when Saitama is in the mood to be all out like that w his affections. Plus he’s Saitama’s anchor and brings him back down when he’s super anxious and depressed and tells him what’s up that he needs to fix without sugarcoating it. Would def have a bunch of inside jokes and go on dates that are just staying inside playing video games all night. Domestic af. 10/10

Fubuki x Mizuki: my first wlw Fubuki ship! Hard to find but very good. Mizuki is this big ball of kindness, energy, and raw power that would make Fubuki go ‘Ohhhhhhh, big pretty lady make brain go brrr.’ I could see Mizuki grounding Fubuki when she’s in over her head, giving her random gifts bc she saw sum and thought of her, doing a marathon run and wildly waving at Fubuki in the crowd, and all around being a dependable woman confident in herself and in love with a mysterious esper. Prob a little shy when it comes to anything physical bc she loves Fubuki so much and is overwhelmed by the realness of being w her. Fubuki gives Mizuki advice on ‘acting like a proper hero’ or whatever and though Mizuki thinks she doesn’t need it, Fubuki still helps her a lot w her career and being taken more seriously by others. Would give Mizuki someone who loves her for who she is and would go wild on her in private when she can be open about her affection, would be someone Mizuki could exercise with and listen intently to Mizuki’s physical knowledge, and would absolutely bandage her when she’s all banged up. Hnghh love this ship. It’s only behind the FubuPsy ship juuuuust a little bc they haven’t met in canon so we can’t be sure about their interactions and stuff. 8.8/10, I love WOMEN

Batarou: how could I go this far without mentioning them?! They have SOOOO much tension in the centichoro fight, like come on. Both snarky assholes who are huge softies one the inside, Badd being the more logical one (still a himbo, tho) and Garou being the more chaotic one. Probably take forever to admit their feelings bc they’re so prideful and stupid <3 flirt through constant wrestling matches and it takes Genos saying ‘they should kiss already, they’re getting on his nerves’ for them to finally realize what’s up. (@rayadraws has a great au where Garou Genos and Badd are a chaotic friend squad and Genos is the only brain of the group, haha. Very good au y’all check it out!) Would constantly pick on each other affectionately and switch into concerned SO when the other is hurt like the big teddy bears they are. Raise Zenko together for sure. Garou would fumble being romantic and Badd would find it both hilarious and cute. 11/12

Zombie mask/Amai x Zombieman:

So. I don’t like Amai Mask and I used to hate him, BUT the webcomic and fic have really helped me calm down on him (he’s still a dick tho), so it’s easier to want to ship him and stuff. Bc of Amai’s anger issues and controlling behavior, I could see this relationship being super toxic and icky—but I think they have some form of understanding that pulls Amai back from being a complete dick, you know? Start off as fuck buddies and slowly form something else from spending companionable time together other than screwing. Zombieman pulls Amai back from his angry fits and soothes him over with his logic. Talk maaaaaad shit about heroes, but only when they’re alone because Zombieman knows Amai will talk loud af about the heroes they’re roasting and Zombie doesn’t wanna stop a fight from happening. Zombieman loves making Amai flustered and has a secret check list in his head of all the things that get Amai red faced. Loves to listen to Amai rant about things for hours and loves to watch his face go through almost cartoon like expressions as he talks. He won’t admit it, but Zombie loves to be spoiled by Amai’s shit tons of cash and often takes rides in Amai’s limos when he wants to smoke and think to himself. Amai has a hard time realizing how his feelings have changed, but gets hit hard with it when he wakes up to Zombie making them breakfast one morning while wearing Amai’s underwear. Amai also loves to spoil Zombie and takes him out to restaurants and buys him cool new weapons on the weekends. @batneko has pretty much gotten me into this ship and I strongly suggest looking at their works! 7.9/10

DemonKnight/Genos x Zero/Drive Knight: I’m pretty sure this used to be a crack ship before the past like 10 manga chapters—and now here we are! Not a fav bc 1. ZERO LEFT GENOS TO SELF DESTRUCT AFTER THEY COMBINED TO FORM THE FUCKING JET HE WAS JUST LIKE lol bye SO LIKE if he left him to die that’s super hard for me to forgive and ship grrr 2. Disregarding the manga’s canon and looking at the wc, while I love the little trip they went on where Zero demonstrated his abilities and helped Genos kill monsters, it’s super sus. He knew alllll of this info on Metal Knight and was super supportive and understanding when Genos said he needed time to think. Like,,,what are his intentions? We know so little about him—is he trying to trick Genos or was he being sincere? THAT STUFF ASIDE, they’re a really fun ship. They’re both huge fucking nerds and can keep up with their talk on robotics for hours, they’re both cyborgs so they understand each other’s pain, and they’re both super cool and angsty. I think they could really settle into a deep bond that can go platonic or romantic, just depends. Genos needs more ppl in his life so hell yeah! Plus, he can really let go with Zero bc they don’t have that teacher/student relationship and Zero, if he’s really a sincere and kind guy like in the wc, can be there for Genos and listen to him. Don’t have much to say on this ship other than @wellthisisembarrassing makes GORGEOUS art of them! 6.3/10

Webuiko/Suiko x Webigaza: YEAH I KNOW THEY HAVENT INTERACTED IN CANON AND WE DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM BUT HEAR ME OUT. Webigaza—cool af determined cyborg idol who’s surprisingly down to earth when talking with Child Emperor. Suiko—sassy and honest fighter who doesn’t take shit and is very passionate. Suiko would go to talk to Web then immediately freak out bc aaaa she’s way prettier than she thought, she can’t do this! Web would have to gently encourage Suiko to talk and at first is like ‘ah man, must be an adoring fan, ugh I’m so tired. At least she’s hot’ but when Suiko snaps out of her shyness Web is like oh! She’s super cool wtf. Always bump into each other during fights and help each other get fixed up, Suiko using her muscle power to lift Web’s pieces (and give Web a great view of Suiko’s muscles holy SHIT) and Web would patch Suiko up. Not to be stereotypical, but they’re def a masc/femme couple. I love the idea of this ship soooo much and I really hope they interact! 6.6/10 only bc they haven’t met 😭😭😭 look them up on here! There’s some great art of them by a few blogs

Dr. Kuseno x Bang: pretty sure @baldyborg came up with this one! Super cute. Just two old dudes finding a nice friendship in each other, maybe after Bang helps carry Genos to Kuseno’s after a day of fighting. Bang would find Kuseno to be a very cute little nerd man and would be sooo impressed by Kuseno’s mad scientist skills. Kuseno would be super impressed when seeing Bang in action too. They’d prob talk as soon as they meet each other and Genos would be in the background like you guys it’s been an hour, please fix me I’m on the verge of death 🧍🏻Bang would give Kuseno advice on training techniques to teach Genos and advice on making his bodies more martial arts ready or sum, meanwhile Kuseno would give his take on how to be kinder to Garou so that Bang would learn to repair the relationship with a gentleness he’s seemingly lacking (yes I’m talking about the chapter where he and Garou start fighting and Bang is just not doing enough to reach out to Garou, he’s being a callous old man! So yeah I’m still mad about that). Genos and Saitama would prob be out on a date and Saitama would be like oh theres Bang, wonder what he’s doing? Then Kuseno would walk up and kiss Bang and Genos and Sai would be shocked like SIRS 👬 Genos would tell Bang he doesn’t need another adoptive dad and Bang would be like....ok.... I see them retiring in a cottage together and Bang would become a huge softie. Yes I’m actively ignoring chapter 141 of the wc, shut up. 7.6/10

TankTop master x Mumen: they have a nice friendship going on in the manga right now! Just bros supporting bros. Tank is the picture definition of a muscly himbo and Mumen is his cute passionate bf. Also workout buddies af!! Don’t have much to say other than pretty good ship, just not a fav. 5.2/10

To sum it up—

GenoSai: 2718873737839439/10, Batarou: 11/12, SonFlash: 10/11, KingSai: 10/10, FubuPsy: 9/10, Fubuki x Mizuki: 8.8/10, MumenSai: 8.4/10, ZombieMask: 7.9/10, Dr. Kuseno x Bang: 7.6/10, Speedal: 7.4/10, OneZon: 7/10, Webuiko: 6.6/10, DemonKnight: 6.3/10, Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: 6.1/10, TatsuKing: 6/10, TankTop Master x Mumen: 5.2/10, Mumarou: 4.3/10, FubuSai: 4/10, SonSai: 3/10, Genos x Sonic: 1.3/10, TatsuSai: 0/10, anyone x Puri: -1283828319833468282/10

If there’s any ships I left out, it’s bc I don’t know them, don’t wanna talk about them, or just don’t have an opinion strong enough. Also, I know there are some poly ships like Genos x Saitama x Fubuki, but I’ve read only one fic about that (it was pretty good, here’s the link https://archiveofourown.org/works/5406992 ) so I don’t feel like talking about it. Hope no ones offended! All my opinion here :)

[scriptlgbt]

I'm wondering about bad tropes/stereotypes when writing an LGBTQ+ character being married to a non LGBTQ+ character?

Helpful term: Lavender Marriage

A lavender marriage is a [usually] male–female mixed-orientation marriage, undertaken as a marriage of convenience to conceal the socially stigmatized sexual orientation of one or both partners.

(Definition edited from Wikipedia)

Do you mean like a beard relationship (eg. a lesbian marrying a straight man for social appearances) or something else (like a bi woman marrying a straight man for love, or a trans person marrying a cis hetero person)?

Those aren't the only options either, this could be a peach fuzz relationship (where a QPR is referred to as a romantic relationship for social appearances).

Each of these things kind of come with slightly different implications. If you send an ask about more specifics, we can hone in on that better.

If I'm making a list of my Biggest Beefs with rep for this stuff in general, here's some no-nos:

allocishet characters using a partner's identity as a bargaining chip for something/otherwise weaponizing it against them. This can ofc be done if you want to make an easy villain, but it's wildly over-represented in media. I even see it depicted in relationships between two LGBTQ+ characters way too often. "Are you ashamed of me or something? People should know" is just so... Done. It's toxic. And usually closeted folks in relationships find ways to live as their true selves separately from people they want to be closeted to, at least if they have any privacy from those folks. This may be my own biases as someone whose parents aren't a part of my life anyway, but it doesn't actually seem like, at least in my experience, we deal with the same "meeting the parents" social obligation, at least overall. It might be important to a given individual and that's totally fine and normal and valid, but domestic tenderness and family is different for me.

referring to bi women in relationships with men as having "straight passing privilege" I know this is controversial for a lot of people: but this is just biphobia. (This is not up for debate here.) Hypervisibility and erasure are both shitty things with a lot of drawbacks. Even if there are situations where one acts as a variable in a good way, it's not the same as real privilege, because that variable will snap back into oppression in a different circumstance. For example, domestic violence rates against bi women are astronomically higher than both lesbians and straight women. I'm not saying this in order to say that there's any kind of WLW that has privilege over a different kind of WLW. I'm just saying that it's ignorant to call one group privileged over another just because of their relationships. We are oppressed for who we are on a fundamental level, for our desires, wants, needs, for our identities. A lesbian who never dates is still a lesbian. We don't gain privilege when we become single. It just doesn't work that way.

chasers and other fetishizers of LGBTQ+ people being treated as a good thing, or in any way condusive to a healthy relationship. [a chaser is a term for someone who fetishizes trans people. The term is sometimes heard as "tr*nny chaser" -- but I rec avoiding that version of the term unless you're reclaiming the t-slur for yourself and are qualified to do so.] It's okay to be attracted to trans people, but fetishization is subhumanizing. I wrote this article in 2016 a few years after a relationship with a chaser, covering red flags that indicate when a partner is fetishizing you. I haven't read the article over in a few years, so take it with a grain of salt, but I remember it as having some good examples of that. If you want to depict this kind of relationship as a problem, there are ways to write it responsibly. But I would strongly rec a sensitivity reader who has experienced this kind of thing, since it's easy to fuck up.

There's also just a Lot of complicated stuff around trans people in relationships with allocishet people. For even the most well-meaning, there's stuff to learn.

There's also just something different about the ways that being connected to queer culture impacts the way our relationships are carried out. I've heard a lot of bi cis + binary people talk about how their relationships with other bi people feel different on a fundamental level to relationships with straight cis binary people. (I've never dated a straight person so I can't speak to comparison, but if anybody wants to add on their own experiences, please feel encouraged to do so!)

- mod nat

[my-darling-boy]

i am non binary and eventually want top surgery. i can't get it yet bc i'm a minor and i can't come out to my parents, but i'm gonna be 18 soon and have a question. if i want to get top surgery, do i need to tell the truth about it? like, do i have to come out and say the true reason behind it, or can i say it's for another reason? and what would be easier in the end? i'm really scared of having to be out like that to get surgery

Sorry for the length of this!

Some trans people give false reasons to their family for wanting top surgery, and this can be the case if you’re using parents’ insurance and don’t want them to know what you’re using it for. The problem with this is that if you don’t cover your tracks with the lie, your family can still find out, especially if you still live with them. While being over 18 (at least in California where I live) prohibits your family from accessing your health info because you are now legally an adult entitled to confidentially, it doesn’t stop them from opening up mail from health insurance or surgeon offices that arrive at the house. While the mail I was sent states my approved procedures were “Bilateral Masectomy” and nipple grafts, it CLEARLY states under the diagnosis section on the front page “female to male” and “Transsexualism”, regarding the diagnosis of gender dysphoria I needed for the surgery. If a parent doesn’t know you’re non-binary and they go digging through your mail, there is always he possibility they may see words related to the surgery being gender related.

For the medical setting, it’s much trickier to do completely in the closet. For top surgery, most places around the world—with some exceptions—require one or more of the following for insurance/medical reasons: a recent written and signed diagnosis of gender dysphoria from a licensed therapist, signed and written proof of hormone replacement therapy for X amount of time from either a physician or endocrinologist, having lived at least 1+ years socially using the name/pronouns you intend to use, or statements from close family members and/or friends that you exhibit dysphoria or that you have been living socially with the name/pronouns you intend to use. Those are the typical ones I’ve seen, but because surgeons/laws/and insurances or medical groups have varying definitions of what grants one permission for the surgery, it can vary wildly from person to person, and what can complicate this further is that insurance and surgeons will have different criteria you need to abide by. Some surgeons are very relaxed and will simply give you the surgery provided they deem you medically fit while your insurance company says you need dysphoria and Hrt for them to cover it. Which brings me to my next point.

A bilateral/double mastectomy is deemed a “cosmetic or non-essential surgery” by most insurances (unless you are a cancer patient, at least in the US) which means insurances don’t like to cover all of the cost. I’ve seen this procedure range from $3,500 all the way to $18,000. The average price is $5,000-$10,000. I don’t remember the cost of my overall surgery, but I know my office consult alone was $1,200. Using my parents’ insurance, I only paid $15 copays. The only way to get my insurance company to cover what could have been a $10,000 surgery was to make them see it was “necessary” and this is why they require the dysphoria diangosis. While I don’t believe you need dysphoria to be trans or have top surgery, unfortunately insurance usually asks for it (“dysphoria” for an insurance company basically tells them you have a mental health issue that is negatively impacting your life and the surgery is needed to correct the dysphoria). With this in mind, it might be near impossible to get coverage for a bilateral masectomy coupled with chest contouring while in the closet to everyone, unless you’ve had a serious medical condition such as cancer since “restoring a breast isn’t considered a cosmetic procedure. It’s reconstructive surgery. Since it’s considered part of the treatment of a disease, the law says insurance providers must provide coverage.” (x) Alternatives would be chest liposuction, however liposuction is still cosmetic and therefore probably not eligible for full, if any, insurance coverage and there are zero ways for chest contouring or nipple resizing.

And which route is easier? In my own opinion, if you’re not comfortable going behind your family’s back or you need their insurance, you might need to tell them the truth, provided you feel in a position to talk about it with your family, and I only say this cos there can be instances where not telling them the whole truth can have consequences for you in the end. Some trans people report issues where coverage was denied after they got the surgery and have to give a $6,000 bill they can’t pay to their parents, letters show up to the house referencing being trans and parents can open these and read them, and an insurance company or surgeon may need written proof from family members that you have been living under x name/gender for x amount of time to provide coverage or surgery. If you’re fine hiding the process from your parents and using your own insurance or paying out of pocket, then that’s an option. But the situation can get sticky if you pursue surgery and are still living at home or have lgbtq-phobic parents and need to hide any evidence of what the surgery is for. I understand coming out is a Huge Thing, but the unfortunate part about this sort of surgery is it can be impossible to go about it trying to conceal all your intentions. And from what I’ve been able to gather during my own process, it doesn’t appear to be possible to go through with this procedure and have it all covered by insurance without mentioning gender.

Again, I’m only speaking from the perspective of someone who lives in California and had my own set of experiences dealing with the hurdles of insurance and the process in general, so if anyone knows it’s different somewhere else or how you could do this in the closet to either family or to doctors, you’re welcome to add! I’m afraid I’ve never run into anyone who went through with surgery completely in the closet with everyone involved. The systems in place for this are based off an outdated binary “male or female” scales, which can make things uniquely difficult for non-binary people to obtain care.

You may find this article particularly helpful about receiving surgery specifically as a non-binary person.

TLDR; successfully acquiring top surgery while completely in the closet to your family or medical staff/insurance groups would be very difficult in most circumstances unless you go completely behind your family’s back and/or bring attention to your gender identity in a medical/legal setting.

[kitkatopinions]

I’m probably over thinking/over complicating things but Ironwood and Penny have been really bothering me. It because prior to the moment that destroyed Penny’s arc the show and Ruby were really pushing that Penny not matter her body was human and that’s a very positive I like that especially when it comes to characters of Penny’s nature.

So my problem kicks in when I think of Ironwood. Namely this part in his song:

“What if it's true as they say

That I don't have a heart

That I'm more a machine than a man?”

Like wtf. I mean I “get it” especially with that dumbass line of Winter. But when it’s talked about Ironwood it was always in reference to the fact that his body is half robotic and there for we are meant to see the correlation between his body and his character.?

Put next to Penny’s message that really bothers me. Even more so since Penny gets a “reward” of becoming human, but the writers push that Ironwood sacrificing his arm to stop Watts and replacing it (a medical decision that could be debated given that he wanted to be up and able immediately to handle things not to mention that fact that nerves and muscle are severely fucked up) with a new (uncharacteristically uncovered) prosthetic means that he’s moving away from humanity. This thought has been driving nuts for a week.

I don’t think you’re overthinking at all. The writers have been pretty blatant about what they think of disabled people.

On the topic of James, 1. They wrote their triple amputee character to be coded as losing his humanity. This is suspect from the get go, but writers imo need to be especially careful and sensitive when they display things like villains with prosthetics. CRWBY is not careful and sensitive. 2. They specifically connected the loss of his limb to the loss of his humanity outside of the show, and as you said, his new prosthetic is uncharacteristically uncovered as well, and there were some pointed shots showcasing his arm and emphasizing it before showing Ironwood doing something wrong as well as a shot that particularly bothered me of them having James fall to Winter when his aura broke and then them immediately flashing to a fallen, broken robotic soldier. Tying the loss of someone’s humanity to them losing a limb / gaining a prosthetic in any way is wrong imo. There are better ways to display someone’s loss of humanity than villainizing the loss of his arm, and I don’t care what justifications people have for ‘they just meant to say that he was too impatient to-’ Idc. Tying the loss of humanity to the gaining of a prosthetic is wrong. 3. They never once treated Ironwood’s clear PTSD, history of mental health problems, and trauma with any sympathy, instead spending their time ragging on him for not wanting to feel his pain anymore and condemning him for... Trying to control his emotions. 4. CRWBY also gave him a semblance and explained how it worked by saying he hyper focused, talking about how James’ passive semblance that he can’t control forces him to focus on one single goal and fixate. I’m not disabled, but I do hyper fixate. It’s not something I can control, and to see it used as a justification for evil (in one of my favorite characters in the series who reminded me of my father lol) and being treated as something bad... It doesn’t feel good. I can’t imagine how other people must feel who are much more affected by this than I am. 5. As you say, the writers go out of their way to reference his metal body as being more ‘machine than man’ and make lines about him being heartless. And yeah, I get that he’s an allegory for the ‘Tin Man’ from Wizard of Oz but ffs the Tin Man had always had a heart and I honestly thought that was what they were going for in V3 with Qrow commenting that sometimes he thought James didn’t have a heart and the audience seeing Ironwood’s actions as questionable, only for the entire show to tell us repeatedly that he actually is a caring and good person who’s willing to destroy all the forces he was proud to show off if it means saving lives and was actually pretty freaking blameless in the Fall of Beacon and was super kind to the kids and when the chips were down, Qrow and Glynda both absolutely knew without even questioning that James would never ever willingly hurt the world or fully betray them and had absolutely no hand in the Beacon attack. Like, I’m sorry, but between Penny and Ironwood, season eight is the season of taking well done character allusions and throwing them out the window for the exact opposite moral done incredibly poorly. And anyway, getting off of that rant, making a ‘more machine than man’ sentiment tied around a triple amputee character is incredibly harmful and hurtful to people with disabilities and only propagates the real world stereotypes against people like James.

So, yes, their treatment of Ironwood, his mental health, and specifically his disabilities was so badly done, harmful, incredibly insensitive, and frankly, appalling that it came from grown adult writers in 2019-2021! But, as you point out, it’s not just Ironwood. And here’s where things really get bad for CRWBY. Because Ironwood alone is enough for me to say they were ableist - unintentionally or otherwise - and ought to apologize for the hurt they’ve caused their fans. But when you get into the rest of their treatment of characters with metal prosthetics or non-flesh elements to their body, it becomes a pattern.

Penny’s entire body is removed from her on threat of death, with the justification that it’s hurting her and that her body is just a machine and not part of who she is, contradicting Penny’s earlier themes of self-acceptance and validating her humanity in the body she already had. She then dies by assisted suicide in a way that feels unneeded, after having asked to be killed earlier in the narrative. So many people have talked about how destructive her story became in V8 and how it personally hurt them, especially non-binary people, trans people, autistic people, or disabled people who saw themselves in Penny or saw in her arc something that they could relate to, only to have Penny’s differences stripped away from her, having her conform to normal body standards and have her previous body type invalidated by her friends, and then they had her killed via assisted suicide in an unbelievable way, insisting as well that she never made a choice before she was a flesh-person and couldn’t feel things right. It’s all horribly done, but it’s important to remember that while Ironwood is accused of losing his humanity as he loses a third limb and gets a third prosthetic, Penny’s earlier validation is taken away and is instead only granted and she is only justified as a person when she loses all her ‘nuts and bolts’ and becomes a flesh person. And then she’s killed anyway.

Yang’s prosthetic is the least ill handled, but it is still dismissed as ‘just extra’ despite her former fairly strong arc of coming to terms with her disability and making it a part of her. She casually justifies what’s happening with Penny despite Penny not being in a position of adequate consent. Yang’s trauma and PTSD also vanished when Adam died at the end of season six and in my opinion, that situation was handled very badly.

Maria and Pietro, two other disabled characters, disappeared, left when Amity fell and were not even mentioned iirc since. Not even when Penny is awake, not even when they’re evacuating, not even when Penny is choosing to die. She never brings up her father. And Ruby’s supposed ‘mentor’ who never had an actual narrative role that couldn’t have been filled by Qrow and has had nothing to do since season six even past that is also forgotten out in the tundra and not mentioned again.

The writers go out of their way to have Winter say that because she was just following orders (a statement that contradicts her previous character imo) and pushing down her emotions, she was the real machine, whereas Penny had been human underneath her apparently easily tossed aside and destructive previous metal body.  And I don’t know if this means anything, but in that scene where she and Penny meet when Penny is dying and transferring the maiden powers to Winter, Winter is in her V7 character design, instead of wearing her assistive brace. Like I said, I don’t know if I’m reading into that, but with everything else, it feels like an iffy choice.

So yeah. In the past season CRWBY specifically cultivated a pattern of disrespect, dismissal, and villainization of any non-flesh attributes in my opinion. It seems pretty intentional and clear to me, but I’m willing to accept that maybe this was just a wildly bad uneducated mistake. Here’s the thing about that, though, after the Faunus/Racism allegory, the CRWBY writers should’ve learned their lesson and not touched on any real world topics that they weren’t willing to do the research on and treat with the sensitivity and care and respect the topics needed. Their Faunus/Racism allegory was harmful and hurtful and frankly could’ve sunk them in the water, they should’ve learned to put much more care and effort into their work or stayed the hell away from anything that could further spread the negative stereotypes surrounding real world people. But they didn’t learn their lesson and they’ve continued to push harmful narratives with no awareness or sensitivity. I don’t think you’re over-reacting at all, I think this is something that - intentionally written or otherwise - the writers should be called out on, or they’re just going to continue writing harmful narratives.

Also, I am not disabled, many of my opinions on the treatment of these characters comes from posts I’ve seen from many disabled or neurodivergent RWBY fans (or former RWBY fans,) or other people more affected by these narratives - minus the thing I said about Winter appearing without her brace when she talks to Penny, as it was something I just noticed while typing out this post. Since I’m not disabled, I’m not the best person to talk about these things, so if I got anything wrong in this, anyone more affected, please know you can let me know and I can edit and fix.

[rotten-games]

In honor of TDOV can you give us insight to the trans ROs experiences with being trans?

I’m late for this because it was a work day yesterday but I’ll answer it anyway because time is an illusion.

Warning for discussion of gender dysphoria

Lokeira: Lokeira didn’t actually realise he was trans until after he left home (at, maybe 19). It wasn’t that he was stifled--though that could very well have been the case in many respects--there were one or two other trans people that he grew up with, however, he never really identified with their experiences perhaps because from the day he was born he was told he had to be a very specific way just due to circumstances wildly outside of his control (This is not agab-related, but poetic cinema and all that). Due to this, he never really had the time or space to really acknowledge that he felt different than what everyone told him he was, or even explore that difference. All he ever really knew regarding who he was in himself was that there was a very deep discomfort that seemed to follow him wherever he went; it wasn’t with any specific parts of him, it was all of him to the extent that he had trouble determining sometimes if who he looked at in the mirror was really him.

Then he left home, cut contact with his family and siblings, and all the people who said he had to be a certain way. He was happier for it, all things considered, but that discomfort still lingered whenever he gave himself even a moment to think too hard about it. Honestly the ‘oh’ moment for Lokeira was a case of someone ‘mistaking’ him for a man and realising he liked it. Obviously it took some serious self-reflection to come to the conclusion that maybe he was a man after all, but eventually he accepted it and basically used all the coin he’d saved up from his job to fund his transition.

That being said, he has no plans of doing anything past hormones and top surgery. The dysphoria was mostly in regards to how people saw him and, well, his chest. To some extent, that discomfort still lingers in some ways; the scars on his chest are a reminder of just why he had to do it, and his voice is constantly cracking like the bastard it is, but knowing himself like he does relieves a lot of the pressure he felt growing up, even if it’s only one aspect of his life.

Ettia: For a very long time, centuries, in fact, Ettia was very unhappy. She had known she was trans for a long time, a very long time before she did anything to go through with a transition. Of course, for a God, that would have been as easy as simply shifting her appearance to better reflect her identity, Wykk would have helped her with all the intricacies if she’d only asked, but one thing stopped her for a long time.

The people.

Oh, Golding had gone through the process of ensuring the holy scriptures and everyone within the faith knew he was a man, but Ettia--or Arior--wasn’t certain she was so strong. She loved her people, she loved the mortals more than her sibling Gods could ever fathom, and some suspect she loved them more than her own brother, but being her true self was something that scared her endlessly. There would be pushback. She knew that just as well as Golding did, but she knew, eventually, she wouldn’t be able to hide herself away.

So, after some very sharp words with Adeliah, she appeared to a few select, incredibly important mortals to set the record straight. It took years for the religion to completely acknowledge her as a woman, but bit by bit her old name was replaced and forgotten by time, and Arior was born anew. Or so the scriptures say.

Korrin: Korrin’s experiences may have been a bit different; they realised they were non-binary during the process of Mikah’s own transition. It wasn’t a huge, life-shattering realisation--in retrospect it made sense--and they didn’t even really talk about it for some time since they were, and are, comfortable with all manner of pronouns, however, it soon became clear that wasn’t going to be something they could maintain. They told Mikah first, and with their permission he told everyone else.

Korrin loves who they are--at least in regards to the transness of themself. They love being trans and they love being non-binary, and don’t see a reason to stifle it to make other (cis) people comfortable. They wear what they want to better reflect who they are and they don’t particularly care if it clashes or makes them look a certain way. They know who they are and they’re the type who won’t let anyone change that for anything, though people have certainly tried.

Spotter: Spotter was one of those people who knew they were some description of trans since they were incredibly young. Of course, they didn’t always have the words for it, nor did they always know they were non-binary. They always had horrible dysphoria that tended to come and go; some days they’d barely be able to get out of bed, while others they were all but distant worries, which often confused them and made them question whether they were truly ‘trans enough’.

Truthfully, Spotter fluctuated between she/her and he/him pronouns for quite a few years, at first thinking they must have been binary trans until they realised maybe they didn’t have to be either. This realisation didn’t come up on its own, some kid in the gang they were in questioned who they were and, really, all Spotter could say was, “I don’t know. Neither, I guess.” It was partially a joke at the time. Until it wasn’t.

Spotter has always sort of wanted to go on hormones, though any other procedure after that is still uncertain for them. It’s not due to a lack of want, but more due to a lack of funds and uncertainty about whether or not that will actually change anything about the way they see themself.

[nothorses]

"Not to mention that trans people have existed for as long as people in general have, even in societies that lack any formal gender concept for trans folks." Can you elaborate on that? How can we be certain of things that far back in time? What exactly are formal gender concepts, and can you explain what lacking them looks like? I don't know how I could identify as "transgender" in a society with no genders for me to, yknow, *trans* across/over/against/within/etc

In the quote you brought here, I’m using an extremely basic understanding of “trans”: someone who doesn’t fit the mold of “woman with vagina” and “man with penis”

These folks may not have considered themselves trans- aside from the fact that the word itself is extremely novel, the concept and experience is wildly different between cultures. But that doesn’t mean there haven’t been people in history who don’t, in some way, deviate from perfect cisgender norms.

By “formal gender concept”, I mean that various cultures and societies have had different ideas around what genders do and do not exist. Modern western society has “male” and “female”. “Hijra”, as an example, has long been a recognized “third gender” in India/South Asia. Some Native American cultures, as well as some indigenous cultures worldwide, have had terms for genders that are not strictly “male” or “female”; as well as terms for all sorts of gender expression variation.

Those alternate genders- or gender concepts, or whatever you want to call them- are also how we know that being trans is nothing new.

As another example- in Ojibwe cultures, ikwekaazo ("men who chose to function as women" / "one who endeavors to be like a woman") and ininiikaazo (”women who functioned as men" / "one who endeavors to be like a man") were allowed to live the lives of the opposite binary gender to the one they were assigned at birth. [x] This is fairly similar to our modern understanding of “trans”, though the reasons people fell into these categories were likely different from modern trans people in, say, North America.

Not every culture was accepting of variations, and not all the terms created to describe what we now understand as trans and/or gay folks were respectful; nor do they align with modern, especially western understandings of gender and orientation. But they’ve existed.

I don’t know the exact history of gender as a concept, back to the start. I think much of what we do know is clouded by the heavily western-centric/euro-centric lens that’s applied to a lot of historical knowledge. But I think it’s extremely fair to deduce that being trans (in this usage of the word) is not strictly social: people have been breaking the strict boundaries of “woman with vagina” and “man with penis” for thousands of years, regardless of how accepted it was at the time- or what their culture defined their concepts of gender by.

[ruthlesslistener]

i have some Thoughts on the topic of using gendered pronouns for the vessels, as a nonbinary person. im not gonna pretend it doesnt irk me when ppl do it out of ignorance, bc it definetly does. but ultimately, someone's personal AU/hc cant give or take away canon representation. besides, the only reason vessels are genderless in canon is bc theyre automatons full of void. i wouldnt say its necessarily bad to have an AU where they have enough sense of self to identify as other genders.

Mmmm I see where you’re coming from, bud, but at the same time, I don’t agree with that. As a binary trans person, I admittedly don’t have much say over what would be good nonbinary rep and what isn’t, but the thing, the vessels don’t seem to be genderless just because they’re automatons full of void. Gender, in Hollow Knight- and among the gods especially- doesn’t really seem to be that big of a deal, period; Bardoon refers to the Pale Wyrm as ‘it’, implying that PK didn’t have a gender until he assumed bug form and got assigned one, and Grimm, who def. adores his child, also calls them an ‘it’. Granted, you can probably argue that the Grimmchild is an empty vessel until they assume their father’s memories and the power of the Nightmare Heart, but even then they aren’t referred to with male pronouns at all. Nor can I recall anything from the White Lady mentioning gender in any manner apart from calling Hornet ‘the Gendered Child’- her baby name- which, given the context of the Pale Wyrm being genderless until it came to Hallownest, kind of makes me assume it’s the same for the White Lady as well, and that Hornet was named that specifically because her choosing a gender was an anomaly. Which, given the fact that the Pale King and the White Lady tried to pretend that the Vessels ceased to be their children after they were voided, sort of makes me think that they automatically assumed even a ‘living’ child to not have a gender, which is something that they told to Herrah and the Weavers as well. She was named that because she was an outlier, not because it was the norm for them. ‘It’ is just kind of the default for bugs, it seems, so you can’t really argue that the Vessels are referred to as such only because they’re supposed to be thoughtless automatons of void- which isn’t even canonical anyways. 

I do agree in that it’s not really a bad thing to have aus where they identify as other genders- I know for myself, I tend to see Hollow and Broken Vessel as identifying as a motley of different genders varying on their mood, to the point where it just sort of melts all together into ‘wildly off the spectrum’ anyways- but that still sets them firmly in the ‘nonbinary’ aspect of things. If someone is using binary gendered pronouns for them, I do have to wonder this: why do they feel like it’s necessary? Do they feel like using they/it pronouns are inheritantly dehumanizing? Because they really aren’t. Actual irl people use they/it, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s sort of offensive, really, to assume that genderless pronouns are dehumanizing, particularly when they don’t seem to have a negative context within the original source material, and particularly when you realize that a big thematic aspect of the story is that Ghost and Hollow (the protagonists) are not empty, or cease to be empty very quickly- they have a will of their own, they are clearly capable of expressing themselves (how else would Ghost purchase things, after all, or problem solve, or explore around to find objects to help them on their journey? Why else would they beat up Millibelle or call her a thief? How would they express their needs to the shopkeepers if they didn’t have a way of showing what they want, however subtle it may be?), which means that them canonically having no gender is good representation, and that defining them with set genders is taking that away, or, at the very least, is saying to a lot of people who relate to them that they can’t view characters as being genderless outside of the aspect of forced dehumanization.

(Nonbinary people, feel free to add onto this post if you wish. I’m not nonbinary so this doesn’t really apply to me as strongly as it does for y’all.)

[catharsis-in-a-bottle]

ALL MY THOUGHTS ON GENDER:

A brain dump / essay-ish thing

Hello, dear humans! I had no particular inspiration for this massive chunk of text beyond “it’s late and there are thoughts in my little human brain.” And so here are all my current thoughts on gender - all of the thoughts that I can... think of... at least. Disclaimer: much of this is speculation and personal opinion. This isn’t a research essay. This is a brain dump. These are thoughts that have been shit out of my head, tidied up, and sprayed with perfume; proceed, therefore, with a critical mind.

There arises a thought, and likely a rather common one among those who think about gender on a regular basis. What if this heap of gender baggage - the expected appearance, personality, and occupation of a given sex - did not exist? What if people disregarded genitalia in favor of raising all sexes with the same status quo, or perhaps even without expressional expectations?

My question is: what, then, would become of gender dysphoria? If the differences between men and women in society were not so heightened - if the existence of nonbinary people was something normalized... I don’t think I would be dysphoric. My mind would be nonbinary - as gender itself is possibly an intrinsic part of neurology, whereas the gender baggage (roles and expectations) is socially constructed - my mind would be nonbinary, but there wouldn’t be an ideal body to ‘transition’ to. So what would I do? The only difference now would be biological sex. And perhaps, for some, this alone is enough for incongruence and/or dysphoria.

And if all sexes were raised not only equally, but better yet encouraged to express themselves as they wished - how might the face of the earth be changed? In terms of fashion, form-fitting clothing would not be made only to accentuate “feminine” curves. Maybe it would simply accentuate *human* curves and features. If the only recognized differences between sexes were natural physical appearances and roles in reproduction, and we DID NOT create gender roles to accommodate those roles in reproduction... Our world, the products we create, the ways we act... everything could be very, very different.

This imagined world is, of course, an unlikely outcome of our societal evolution. In the animal kingdom, different sexes are assigned different roles and jobs. Why should humans be any different? The task of physical labor to men arises from the sole biological factor of higher potential muscle mass - and in our prehistory, that muscle mass was real. Everyone was working hard as hell in the fight for survival.

And so the differences in sexes grew and grew. With a gap in the jobs they were expected to perform based on their reproductive and physical capabilities, societally recognized men and woman drifted apart. And as humankind grew, these differences were portrayed in wildly different ways in differently developing cultures. So in our prehistory, there were hunters and gatherers, caretakers and fighters; but in the beautifully diversifying cultures developing across the globe, the gender baggage differed. Ideas of femininity, masculinity, neutrality, and combination of expression were quite different as one moved from place to place. In western culture, neutrality was rejected and stomped upon, while in many non-western cultures, neutrality, ambiguity, and overall third genders received their own baggage and thrived in the gender arena (which is now a term, thank you very much.)

Gender expression and gender roles were socially constructed. But what of gender itself? What is gender? We say it’s a personal identity, what’s in our minds and hearts. Is it neurological? If so, that would explain gender incongruence at the base level - feeling that incongruence based solely upon one’s sex. If not, if gender itself is in fact entirely social construct and not just the baggage, what of transness? What would it mean to be trans? That’s not my place to answer, because I don’t know and all of these rhetorical questions are sheer speculation. Whether or not gender is an intrinsic, neurological part of our individual selves, trans people still exist.

And not only do trans people exist, but we deserve to live as the height of our true personal expression. Freedom is so fucking important. Speaking your mind and being yourself and showing the world, or showing a loved one, or knowing and loving who you are - this is all freedom, this is all personal expression. For trans people it is emancipation and liberation from the shackles of all of that gender baggage. In one way or another, gender differs from biological sex, and the sheer difference in what each gender is supposed to do, present as, act as - that difference is what feels so absolutely, goddamn confining. If we returned to my unrealistic little scenario in which we somehow suppressed the evolution of gender baggage, the societal confinement would not exist. It would be biological confinement. And who knows what that would entail; certainly not I, a non-omnipotent little Homo sapiens.

Being a woman and having society tell you you’re a man is confining. Being a man and having society tell you you’re a woman is confining. Being nonbinary and having cultures in which that is simply *not historically a thing* tell you that “you’re whatever’s in your pants” is confining. In my own personal experience in western society, this enby confinement is different than that of binary confinement, as a neutral role - a good old nonbinary baggage suitcase - is a new thing. Nonbinary PEOPLE are not new; a nonbinary suitcase (I love making terms up) is new though, once again illustrating the difference between the gender baggage and gender itself. The struggle of nonbinary people is not to be compared to that of binary trans people, as it is a separate category. They are related but not the same. Binary trans people push against gender baggage that has developed, evolved, and existed for centuries; nonbinary trans people are making a new category (in cultures in which that isn’t a defined gender role). And we don’t necessarily want to create any more ‘baggage’ for nonbinary people, as once again this is what causes that suffocating feeling of confinement within society.

Xenogenders are sort of similar in this sense - an entirely new category is surfacing. At first I did not understand them. But not understanding something is never a basis for disrespect. I don’t know the people identifying as xenogenders, and I don’t know how they feel or what their personal struggles are, so who am I to say “ahahaha trender”? Their existence does not affect me. “But they make the trans community look like a joke.” Well, people with xenogenders are not the face of the trans community, and those who think they are simply cherry-pick the “cringiest” examples in a varied community that they can find, which is already shitty in itself. And also, the problem is not “trenders”. The problem is people with already transphobic mindsets, whether that be passively transphobic or actively transphobic. That mindset is just being extended to this emerging group of people. I don’t give a shit if someone uses neopronouns or describes themself using a neogender, because I do not know them and their existence does not affect me negatively in any way, nor does it affect the trans community negatively. By simply their identity, they are not hateful or discriminatory. And so what trans people should really be fighting against is passive and active transphobia within society - the actual, real life problem. We shouldn’t be turning inwards and setting our own dogs loose on each other.

Here we are in the world. Femininity, masculinity, neutrality and ambiguity have become established fashion codes and expressional standards in my good ol’ western society. Occupational gender roles still exist heavily, because that’s literally an intrinsic part of our evolution as humans, but these occupational roles are being fought against. Which is due, because anything otherwise would be archaic and non-progressive. Personality and personal expression are still heavily scrutinized when differing from one’s own assigned gender. The latter is an issue; the fashion codes and expressional standards have their deep problems, such as violence on the basis of expression, but once femininity, masculinity, neutrality, and ambiguity have been extended and allowed to all genders and socially accepted, these issues should fade. It’s sad that we must base the resolution of violence on social acceptance. But we must push for this social acceptance. We must push for the elimination of confinement, and for the absolute freedom of personal expression for all people; once real, true freedom of expression becomes normalized, becomes the status quo, it will no longer be met with challenge and hate.

That’s one thing we want deeply in life. To exist as we wish to exist without challenge and hate.

That concludes my... words. I hope that entire thing could be perceived as relatively orderly. I encourage you to leave your thoughts in the notes or ask a question or whatever you want to do.