Nimona headcanons I wrote instead of sleeping
Sometimes the boys forget that Nimona isn’t human
Like they’re used to the shifting into animals aspect of Nimona because she does it as often as she breathes
But sometimes she’ll do some really creepy shit like make her arms longer to reach something when she’s too lazy to get up
One time they shifted just their neck to be like an owl so they could turn their head 180 degrees instead of just turning around cause that was “too boring”
Or he’ll mimic people’s voices without realizing it
Sometimes he’ll tell a story and suddenly he’s using Bal’s voice
The first time she did this Bal searched the whole house cause he was convinced that Todd has snuck in
Or she’ll grow an extra arm to hold more shit and they take a moment to realize “oh yeah we adopted a little weirdo”
They get used to it after a while and the arguments surrounding it are always funny because both the boys will complain and say “I don’t sound like that” and they have to be told “No love you do you really do”
You know those videos of babies reacting to their parents shaving their facial hair or putting on glasses
That’s Nimona's reaction every single time the boys change their appearance even the smallest bit they cant shave or wear their reading glasses because if they do he freaks out
Talking some “help me Nemesis I heard bosses voice but I can’t find him” while Bal was standing right in front of them
It was the first time he shaved his face in years and he’s never doing it again
Mostly cause Ambrosius kept telling him he looked like a teenager and it was freaking him out
I feel like Bal and Ambrosius are those kinds of people who will tell people about the little injuries but neglect the big ones
Like Bal mentioned that he thinks he sprained his ankle during the fight at the institute but he won’t mention that he’s pretty sure he got a concussion
(BECAUSE THIS MAN HEAD-BUTTED TWO PEOPLE WHEN HE HAS A METAL ARM)
(I’m bout to wrap this man in bubble wrap and give him a helmet because wtf)
Ambrosius will complain the whole day about the fact that he has a paper cut
But will completely neglect to inform his doctors “Oh yeah I can’t move my left arm higher than my waist without pain and I can’t see that well out of my left eye or hear that well out of my left ear do you think that’ll be a problem?”
It isn’t until Nimona makes an off handed comment about how this super weird that the laser did basically nothing to him that he told both of them
They literally dragged him to the ER because “Who thinks those symptoms are normal Nemesis what is wrong in that pretty little head of yours!!”
When Bal tells Nimona she’s being a bit of a hypocrite (cause who refers to an arrow as a splinter?) she turns to him and says “I know you’re not saying something Mr. Human battering ram”
It took literally everything in Ambrosius not to break down laughing
After that she forces them to have frequent checkups with the doctor because these dorks wouldn’t go otherwise
Honestly I'm fully convinced that some people in the kingdom don't know who Nimona is and are constantly confused why they let this little weirdo follow them around
And finally the curiosity will eat away at them and they’ll finally ask
Sometimes the boys will give some “normal” answers like “Oh that’s Nimona” and they won’t elaborate at all
Sometimes they’ll give funnier answers like “Oh that’s a raccoon we found in the garage who turned into a person one day” “I don’t know they just showed up in our living room” and their personal best “You see her too?”
And their favorite that they only started using a couple of years down the line “Oh that’s our kid”
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My lola is 80 years old and unvaccinated against covid because a neighbor knew a guy who knew a guy who supposedly took Sinovac and got a heart attack, and now she refuses to take ANY kind of vaccines period believing her heart wouldn't be able to take it.
When she finally caught covid my entire family had to contend with knowing she could very well die a preventable death. Thank God she didn't, but every single visit she gets from her grandchildren is another risk to her life.
And the worst part is we weren't even the target of America's psy-op. That's all Southeast Asia has been for hundreds of years, a playground for the world powers (most especially the United States) to fuck each other over while we die in droves.
I don't know what gradeschoolers in America learn, but when I was 10 years old (I think. It's been a while.) my teacher made us read the diary of an American soldier in the Philippine-American war who was given orders to kill every boy in a village over the age of 6. He gleefully described chasing children into their houses and up trees like they were monkeys, and ended the entry with "I had fun that day..." Our number 1 ally everybody!
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(check the tags for more and also the tag for other fics in the story!)
athena, scowling as she gets bullied into marrying the people she pined over for the last 1000 years, suddenly realising something: wait a minute
odysseus: what?
athena, frozen: wait a damn minute you know what this gives me rights to do
penelope, also realising: oh fuck yes
odysseus: I don't like the sound of whatever's happening here what are you two fucking talking about?
athena, grabbing the marriage wine and tossing it back, then kissing her new wife and husband and handing penelope a spear as she picks up a mace: we'll be back shortly, you can start celebrations without us.
penelope: do u have anything that can start a fire
athena, pulling out an old contract and scanning it before throwing it over her shoulder: yes. are you scared of heights or can we fly.
penelope: fucking bring it I've waited years for this moment
zeus: where are they going
hermes, picking up the contract: they're going to... Ogygia? Oh fucking shit they're going to fucking kill Calypso- hey, hello, WAIT-
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Babes, I need to tell you something...
If you're one of the 'DaNy StAnS' who believe that Dany has to die to fulfill some bittersweet/tragic ending while also wanting the other characters especially the Starks to live happy health lives and become kings and queens you're not a real Dany stan.
You're just a Daenerys anti. The only difference between you and the antis is that the antis are more honest about how they actually feel about her.
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theres something so incredibly painful and meaningful about nona deciding to live just because a dog is in the truck. just noodle, this weird little six-legged dog that nona only knew for a handful of months in her already short life that she loved so deeply. tazmuir goes to painstaking extents to illustrate all the horrible things that come as a result of love (paul, jod’s backstory, pyrrha/g1deon/wake, ianthe and corona, gideon and harrow, etc) but this little, pivotal moment illustrates the beauties of it. nona is all about love, she loves without reason, she loves her little life and her little family and her school and her friends and noodle. noodle, who is just a dog, who can’t speak or express his love like humans do, but shows it nonetheless. because noodle is a dog, and dogs love without reason, just like nona (just like the earth). when everything and everyone that nona loves is falling apart, when she’s lost in all those horrors of love and chaos and destruction and her brain is breaking down and she’s losing what it means to Be Nona, noodle is still there, loving her regardless. and because she’s still nona, she loves him back. and she lives for love, even for just a few minutes longer. for a dirty little six-legged dog that wasn’t even hers, because she can’t let what she loves die if she has the choice (the power, for once). it’s beautiful and heartbreaking and the last decision she ever made was to live with her horrible, painful existence so that a dog (who couldn’t choose) wouldn’t die.
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You know, as much as I would've loved a massive catharsis-led triumph over Athion Zathuda in battle, possibly left at the mercy of the vibrant flames of Fearne's Titan form reiterating herself with aplomb as Fearne Calloway, I actually kinda love how the narrative chose to defeat him.
In many ways it is just hilarious, but also ironically in-character. Man talked all about wanting to prove himself, had a grandiose title of 'Sorrowlord' and was looking to be both a physical and mental adversary after threatening to torment Fearne into becoming Exaltant by targeting her loved ones. But then when he is pit against Bells Hells he barely does a thing; he tries to talk his way into turning Fearne again, gets jumpscared by Ira, the 'farm girl' he mocked to Fearne commandeers his dragon, he loses a leg and is thrown off his dragon, and the Hells even opt to keep him alive for some reason in 107 before kinda accidentally offing him in 108.
He thought he was the shit, but enemies of true threat like Ludinus, Otohan and Liliana (a threat before she was turned) looked down on him, and thus his attempts to prove them wrong - while also falling into the same trap as Ashton's father in seeking out a personal destiny and being willing to see their child as a tool to do it - bore no fruit at all, he was practically an afterthought through and through, his dragon really being his entire threat level. In the end, he got killed running (well, hobbling) away, and while Gloamglut's keening was a little sad in a way that a pet cannot fathom the moral complexity of having to kill their owner he still had it coming, plus following his eternal torture in the Tiki Bar of Ligament Manor, the last sorrow he wrought was his own; he achieved nothing, everything he hints he did to get to his position was for naught, and for all the fear and danger he tried to make himself possess he truly had no power over anyone, especially not Fearne - who can only pity him and, as further proof of being better than he ever was, hope that he takes the time to reflect on his sorrows.
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