#will publish soon........ just need it to be tested by a few friends

[fishbloc]

THE MOD IS DONE . i am free

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Hi beautiful, are you ok? You could write where Gavi or Pedri (your preference) has a "best friend" who is really in love with him and purposely creates a situation where he is confused who to believe, leaving the hurt reader not wanting to see him for a while. It can be a anguish with a happy ending, please :) thank you.

Part 2 (Angsty Version)

Part 2 (Happy Version)

Warnings: Pretty long, some swear words, burns with coffee, angst, kinda asshole! Pepi. Don't really know about that😭💀 no proofread💀 I need to get better on the publishing time😭💀

Believe What You Want -P.G8

Summary: He doesn't know who to believe and you just can't take it.

Pedri knew about your non-liking towards his best friend, Victoria and often both of you had some exchange of words for it. But it wasn't your fault.

You were always nice and open to meet your boyfriend's family and close friends. She, being one of them. Nervous as fuck but you were positive to like all people around him, since you planned to stay by his side for a very very long time, only to be met with a eye rolling and a push on the shoulder from her part.

Since that very first moment you knew that a friendship with her would never work. In fact, it would never happen. And that little thought was proven correct when a few hours later you were both alone as the guys went to buy some food, she went ahead and told you how you and Pedri were never going to work, how he was only using you like a little toy and soon will be left forgotten, etc...

However, once the guys returned back, Pedri could read that something had happened while they were gone, you were serious, you weren't smiling as big as you were before and remained quiet most of the evening

Not only did he noticed that but the guys also did.

"Are you okay?" Adrián, his cousin asked you, you lifted your head to look at him and nodded softly

"Just a bit tired and with a headache" You murmured as they nodded understanding, they left you be for the rest of the evening but Pedri did knew you well.

"What's wrong?" He asked as soon as you both got into his car

"¿Qué?" (What?)

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. Why would there be something wrong?"

"You're not tired and you don't have a headache either" He said as you sighed looking down at your lap, you could lie to everyone... To everyone but him. "Mírame, por favor, bonita" (Look at me, sweetheart, please) You didn't so he sighed and with his hand pulled your chin up to meet his eyes "What's wrong?"

You stayed quiet for a few seconds before you took a deep breath "Victoria... She- I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me" You tight-lipped smiled

"She's difficult at the beggining but once she gets confidence and spends more time with you, she changes" You shook your head

"I don't think so, Pedro..." You sighed "She said some things about our relationship" He furrowed his eyebrows

"Like?"

"Like... You were only playing with me like a little girl with a doll and that once you get tired of me you'll throw me away, that things between us will not last... You want me to keep going?" Pedri stood still for a few seconds before laughing softly and shaking his head

"She probably was testing you. She also adores making jokes"

"That seemed pretty real to me, Pedro"

"She was just joking. She often does that when one of us brings a girl around, to see if she's good or worth... If you didn't screamed back at her then you passed her test"

"Yes but she wasn't joking"

"Relax, bonita. You'll soon see she opens up to you"

You pushed his hand out of your chin and rested your head into the window, both of your hands crossing around your chest. You shook your head

"Can you take me home, please?"

"I thought you were staying with me tonight?"

"Wanna go home, be with my dog and alone for a little while" You said softly not looking at him but rather looking at the houses that were in his friend's villa

"Are you mad?"

"I am tired and want to be with my dog"

"We can go pick her up and-"

"In my house" Pedri sighed nodding and put his hand on your tight but you crossed your legs before he could touch you. He got the hint and pushed his hand into his lap

"Entiendo" (Got it)

The rest of the drive was silent with only the radio playing up. Your chest was tight and all you wanted was your boyfriend to be at your side and not simply brushing it off

"¿Cómo puedo arreglarlo?" (How can I fix it?) He said right after he parked at the front of your house; you shrugged your shoulders

"Don't know" You sighed "As much as Victoria might love each and every single one of you, guys... I can assure you that what she said to me today and the way she said it, it wasn't a joke" You said "I'm a girl and I have a male best friend too. But I wouldn't say those kind of stuffs just as a friend or to see if she's worth and good for him" You shook your head "Es más, ni siquiera le diría algo de ese estilo a ella" (I wouldn't even tell her something like that)

"She likes you" You said after a few more seconds "And that's it"

"Mi vida, please-"

"I'm not making anything up" For the first time you looked at him "I'm a girl, I know things only a girl can. She likes you, Pedro"

"But I don't like her"

"Then let her know that" You said taking off the seatbelt, you grabbed his face and kissed his cheek, feeling his low stubble on your lips "Te quiero, guapo" You said softly and without the happy emotion you always carry when around your guy.

"Y yo a ti, bonita" He kissed the palm of your hand "I'm sorry for her, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable because of it. I'll talk to her" You nod before getting out of the car "See you tomorrow?" You nod your head

"See you"

Your second meeting with Victoria was pretty normal but you could guess that she didn't wanted to make a bad impression with Pedri around and the fact he was eyeing both of you up and down, all of your expressions and acts, could've pulled her back a little bit.

"I was just joking!" She exclaimed a little too loud on your ear as you grimaced lightly "Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, it's just a little something I like to do!"

"Yes, well... It's not nice, please don't do it" Her response was an eye roll

"You're boring, girly" She said laughing as you tight smiled "Pepi, come on! We gotta show who the masters are!" And with that she took Pedri's hand and dragged him with her to play some ping pong against Adrián and Jesús (one of Pedri's friends)

The third one was your least favorite, you were on your way to the Ciutat Esportiva to pick Pedri up but first you went ahead and grabbed some coffe and pastries for the two of you to eat on your way home.

You were done with your order and were actually waiting for your two cups of coffee

"Be careful, miss" The girl said smiling softly "It's really hot"

"Thank you, I got it" You smiled and gave her a tip "Have a nice day"

She smiled back at you and once you were in the middle of walking out of the shop, you saw a woman come up to you and once you realized who it was, you felt your coffee being poured all over your front

"¡Puta madre, joder!" You screamed out in pain as people gasped and the same girl who attended you came rushing to you

"Miss what happend?" You couldn't speak at the tremendous pain you felt

"Some girl pushed her coffee up to her" A little boy said as you tried not to cry

"¡Cambiadle la ropa, ya!" (Change her clothes, now!) A woman said worried

"I got a spare shirt" A guy said going out running

"Échale un poco de agua fría" (Put her some cold water) An old man said

"Do you know who she was? Why would that girl do that?" The same girl asked worried taking you inside

"My boyfriend best friend's" You replied hissing feeling the cold water she was putting on you run down your body, it was both relaxing and painful "She hates me"

"Did you do something to her?"

"Date the guy she's in love with"

...

"Amor, if you couldn't pick me up, you could've told me" Pedri said once you got inside your house "I had to grab a cab since everyone left earli-¿Qué mierdas te pasó?" (What the hell happened?)

"Victoria, happened" You replied angrily "I was on my way to pick you up and I stopped at that little coffee shop we always go. She was there too and she poured on me my two cups of hot coffee, I had to go to the hospital to give me something for the burns"

"Oh my god"

"What?" You asked

"I can't believe you"

"Huh?"

"Victoria was all day long with the guys... I just ended a facetime with them"

"No, she wasn't. I'm not blind, Pedro. I know how her face is, I know how she looks like and I know what happened" You replied angry, you were angry at the fact he wasn't believing you "I don't have any reasons to hate her. She, on the other hand, does"

"She doesn't like me. I talked to her. It's crazy"

"No it isn't, Pedro. Otherwise, why the hell she would have dropped boiling coffee on me? Because she was testing me to see if I'm good or worthy for you?"

"I'm not up for this"

"You're not up for anything related to her lately"

"It's just something nonsense, Y/N! ¡Ella es única y solamente mi mejor amiga! ¡No tenemos sentimientos románticos, ni por su parte ni por la mía!" (We have no romantic feelings, neither on her part nor on mine!)

"Leave"

"What?"

"You're not up for this and you think I'm speaking nonsense, you can leave"

"She's not like that"

"And I'm not a liar, Pedro. I don't go around to get in trouble with people and you should know it. We've been together for a whole year and I have never lied to you. Not even once. I don't have anything against her but she does have something against me and if you can't see it then leave, but don't make me look as if I'm crazy because I'm not"

"Who's hoodie is this?"

"What?"

"This isn't mine and surely isn't yours. Who's this?"

"A guy offered me his hoodie, my shirt was drenched in coffee and if I stayed in it the only thing it would do was burn me more and I can't walk around the streets of Barcelona in bra, so I took it"

"Sure" He said nodding but you knew he didn't believed it

"I'm not lying, Pedro!"

"You're not lying, got it. But you want me to believe the person I have met since I was 10, the person who has supported me through everything is hurting the one I love the most?"

"Yes, because that's exactly what's happening!"

"You're unbelievable" Pedri shook his head "She's not like that, she wouldn't hurt the one I love the most! She's my friend, friends who are happy with each others happiness and she knows you're mine"

"But she doesn't want me to be your happiness, she wants to be your happiness. You're too oblivious to notice it!"

"I'll take up on your advice, we'll talk once you're calm"

"I can't be calm!"

"Nos vemos" (See you later)

You laughed in disbelief and shook your head. Your turned around to see Felicity, your black cream dachshund of two years laid on the couch who once heard the door closing started barking and surprisingly started to pull the space next to her. You smiled forgetting for a few seconds of your anger.

"Don't fall in love with any boy, yes?" You said to her petting her as she crawled on top of your lap "You do know how to make me feel better, Feli" She licked your clothed chest and smell it repeatedly "Mommy got burn" You took off the hoodie, your bare chest in the air.

Your bra was also drenched, the doctor who took care of you told you it was better if you took it off, she recommended you some creams and gave you a recipe to follow so the burning marks could fade away quickly.

You sighed and sad smiled when your little girl licked at your stomach "Mommy will go and take a shower. Will you help me with the creams? Or will you make some dinner?" She looked at you "Or how about I do both?" She barked and you smiled "Girls night"

...

"Fer, I'm not going" You said shaking your head over the phone, even though he couldn't see you

"Come on, it's my birthday"

"I'm going to sound like a proper bitch but I'm glad"

"You did sound like a bitch"

"Pedri will be there and you two share the same group of friends, so it's more than obvious she'll be there. I'm not going"

"Come on, Y/N/N" Fer said "I will not leave you alone for a single minute but you need to come. I need my sis"

"I'm not sure if I'm still being your sister-in-law after everything"

"You'll be my sis one way or another. Although I'd love both" You laughed lightly "I'm not saying he's right and I'm not saying you're completely right. But eventually you two need to talk about this, you guys love each other more than anything. You can do this, you can fix this"

"I don't think we can fix it, not this time"

"You always can" Fer said as you sighed "He's been a mess without you, he's not himself"

"He has his best friend to help him with that"

"He doesn't need a best friend, he needs to open his eyes and see the right thing before it's too late" Silence went over the line before he spoke up again "You may have fight, ugly ones... But you always make it out. Love and communication it's your guys thing"

"Things change, Fer. You know?"

"Not you guys" You shook your head

"Everything can" You both fell silent before Fer sighed

"Please come. If you don't want to talk to him, don't. Just be there for me. I won't lose my friendship with you"

"If you ever leave my side even if it's just for one second, I'll kick you where the sun doesn't shine, González"

"Deal" You heard the smile on his face "I'll pick you up tomorrow at 5"

What were you getting yourself into?

...

"Long time not to see you, missy" Adrián said as you stepped outside their backyard. You smiled softly opening your arms to hug him, you hissed softly when he hugged you tighter, the fabric of your shirt started to hurt on your aching chest "Sorry, Fer told us you got burnt" You smile softly shaking your head

"It's fine. I'm good now" Adrián tight smiled before rubbing your shoulders a few times making you laugh

His girlfriend, Anabella came and hugged you as well and soon the guys were greeting you with smiles, hugs and jokes. Until you got to Pedri.

"Hola" He said softly

"Hola" You said

"Didn't know you were going to be here today"

"Neither did I" You admitted "I was planning to make up some excuse but Fer didn't have it" Pedro smiled softly

"Glad he didn't" You hummed softly crossing your arms over your chest "How are you?" You sighed

"Been better" You said "You?"

"Awful" You looked at him softly "I missed you... A lot"

"I missed you too, Pepi" You said "A lot as well"

Four days you had not speaking to each other, no calls, a few texts but in the end a few texts meant nothing with everything it had to be said...

"I'm sorry" He said after a few seconds. You sighed and hugged him tightly not really caring about the ache this time

"We need to talk" You said and it was his turn to sigh before hugging your waist tightly "We need to fix us because we can't keep going this way, I love you too much to let you go"

"Glad to know we are on the same page though..." You smiled inhaling his scent "We do need to fix us. I don't want us like this" That's all he said and after a few seconds of hugging, you separated enough from him to join your foreheads

"Shall we go home after this party? We can talk in peace and be just you and me" He nodded

"That's nice" He smiled softly "Can we go now?" His comment made you laugh "I really really want to fix things between us"

"As much as I want to, we can't. We can't just leave your brother"

"Bueno, pero que él es bastante mayorcito para cuidarse solo" (Well, but he is old enough to take care of himself)

"It doesn't matter. I'm here because of him. I wasn't going to come here, Pedro"

He sighed before nodding "Can we leave a bit early tho?" You smiled nodding.

"That we can"

"After singing Happy Birthday?" You nod

"Most likely"

"Fer! I'm kinda hungry for that pineapple cake, don't you want to sing happy birthday now?" You hit his bicep lightly as you both laugh

"Don't pay any attention to this guy, Fer. Enjoy your evening" You smiled softly "And you stop. I'm also nervous and excited at the same time but stop and let's enjoy this evening before we talk, it's something pretty serious" Pedri nods

"How are you?"

"I told you I've been better"

"I don't mean emotionally this time. I meant physically. How are the burns?"

"Hopefully if I follow each and every single thing doctor days, there will be no visible scars"

"Are they pretty bad?"

"Let's say half and half" You shrugged

"I'm sorry about how I reacted with the hoodie thing" Pedro looked down "I should be grateful someone who didn't know you took care of you. And mostly with something as dangerous as boiling coffee is"

And it was all thanks to your amiga. You wanted to say bit bite your tongue back

"Yes, well... We can forget about that for now" You hummed "What are you drinking?"

"Apple juice" You nod

"I'll be needing some alcohol for this day; I'll better go and look for some"

"You'll need it?" You shrugged

"I don't know why I have this weird feeling and I just-" You said brushing it off going to the kitchen where Adrián's girlfriend, Anabella, was there serving herself something "Can you give me a glass of whatever you're drinking?"

"Something's up? You never drin- well... You don't drink hard things"

"I think I'll need it today"

...

Two hours into the party and not Fer nor Pedri have left your side. It seemed like both brothers were synchronized. You were having a good time and kinda were glad you had come.

Until it happened.

Your third vase of the night was empty and you stood up to make yourself a refill, you thought you were alone in the kitchen and once you pulled the glass container out of the fridge, you yelped seeing Victoria in front of you.

"Why are you here?" She said but you ignored her "I'm asking you something"

"And I'm deciding not to answer it" You simply said making your drink

"I don't want you here" ... "You better leave Pedri alone"

"He didn't asked me to come" You said looking at her "I'm here for Fer" You grabbed your drink and took a sip of it

"You're still distracting him"

"So...?" You asked "Look, I don't like you and you don't like me. We know that. Let's stay in our own sides..."

"I'll stay quier after you break up with him"

"Amor" You heard Pedri speak, you turned around towards the sound of his voice but soon felt your hand being yanked

"Why did you do that?!" Victoria yelled as you looked in shock at your drink on her

"Why did you do that?!" You replied

"Wha the hell?" Both of your heads turned towards the voice... Pedri. "What just happened?"

"Y/N throw her drink at me!"

"I did not! You did it by yourself!"

"Why would I do that? On myself? And if I did, why you have the vase?" She almost fake cried

"Because I was making my own drink!"

"Y/N" You heard Pedri and you looked at him shaking your head

"No. You gotta believe me, Pedro. I didn't do it, she did it by herself. She grabbed my arm when she heard your voice and pulled on it"

You saw him looking in between the two of you, the doubt clear on his eyes

"Victoria" He said

"I wouldn't throw on myself some drink just to get your attention. It was clearly her own doing, you have been telling me she's been making up some stuffs about me! She's clearly wanting you to hate me since we met each other"

"You know that's not true, mi vida. I have never lied to you, not once. Please, Pedro, you've got to believe me..."

"How will he believe you when you made up an absurd story about me throwing coffe on you"

"It's not an absurd story, it's true, you- why am I talking to you? Pedro, please" You looked back at him "You and I both know I don't have the best creativity to create something like this" You shook your head "Please" Your voice cracked

Pedro shook his head after a few seconds, a tear fell from his eye. "You have the vase on your hand and you've been saying all these things..." He started and your heart fell

"No. Yo no soy así, tú lo sabes." (I'm not like that, you know it)

"¿Lo sé?" (Do I?) He shook his head "La tú de estos útlimos días no son la tú de la cual me enamoré" (The you from these past few days aren't the you I fell in love with)

His words slapped you. Hard.

"Pedro, por favor... No tengo ningún motivo para odiarla, para lastimarla o perjudicarle de algún modo. Es ella quien a iniciado todo esto" (Pedro, please. I have no reason to hate her, to hurt her, or harm her in any way. It is she who started all this)

"Because I love him?" She said "He's only my best friend. You made up the in love things" She shook her head "You, on the other hand, had to make up some lame excuse for using another guy's hoodie"

"Hey" You said stepping forward "Mírame" (Look at me) He looked into your eyes "Please, tell me you believe me" His gaze fell "Pedro..."

"It's Pedri" He said "Only my friends and family can call me that"

You stumbled backwards

"Are you really going to do this?"

"You did it first"

You looked at him, at the love of your life, your stomach fell to the ground and you were holding back the tears. Your head was spinning and you couldn't believe it. Not coming from him.

You looked at her, who had a little smile on her face. She got what she wanted. "You won" You said and you saw how her head lifted up a bit while yours went down, hurt. You returned your look to, your now, exboyfriend.

"I really hope you never know the truth" You said sniffing "Take care, Pedri"

And with that you left the vase on the counter and walked out of the González's brothers house.

As soon as your body met the Barcelona air, your tears flew down your cheeks and you pushed your hand out for the first cab that passed on the streets.

Your forever looked like it was just words now. That night you cried yourself to sleep feeling hurt, betrayed and lonely.

... 7 days later ...

"Hey bro" Fer called out Pedri who was laid in his bedroom more than always "Everything good?"

"Not completely"

Fer sat next to Pedri and patted his thigh "Venga, vamos. Habla" (Speak)

Pedri didn't said anything. Words couldn't come out of his mouth and describe his feelings.

"A ver... What's wrong, Pedro? I won't ask again..." Pedro shook his head shrugging his shoulders

"We all know you guys broke up, the why it's still a mystery" Adrián said "In fact, the breakup itself it's a shock for all of us but it was your relationship"

Pedro sighed and closed his eyes... Images of you ran in his mind, he opened his eyes and ran his hands through his hair

"I haven't seen Victoria either which is pretty weird considering how in love is she with you and doesn't let you be" Jesús said

"What?"

"¿Qué de qué?" (What? What?)

"Victoria isn't in love with me"

"Oh no, she is. Please, don't tell me you didn't knew" Jesús laughed "It was painfully obvious. And the fact you are head over heels with Y/N, doesn't make Victoria happiest at all"

Pedri stood up

"What do you mean?" He asked with fear in his voice

"She was really mad about it, she conforted Y/N, poor girl was just trying to ignore her"

"Were you there?" Pedro asked

"I overheard them speaking that night at Fer's birthday. Victoria was going on about you and her, that your things with Y/N would end up soon... Those kind"

Pedri's mind was racing in fear and agony.

"No" He whispered

I had it in front of me all this time along.

"Is there any possibility for Victoria to have made those burns in Y/N's skin?"

"Well, it can be... She got out of the house around noon so..." Pedri's eyes clicked up like lightning all the dots were connecting by your side.

You were right. All this time you were.

He had been too stupid to realize that "No" He whispered once more

"What's up, dude?"

"I fucked up bro. Big one"

The only thing Pedri could do now, was pray, pray and hope for him not to be so late.

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela

[judeyswife]

not what i’m looking for. — jude bellingham x reader.

genre : angst

word count : 800+

note : hii lovies, this is so exciting for me since this is finally my first piece of writing ill be posting!! it’s a bit short but i hope you enjoy my content and if you have any requests, feel free to send them to me :) i will soon publish a masterlist once i've posted a few writings! ps there will be multiple parts to this "mini story" !‏‏‎ ‎

‏‏‎ ‎ ———————————————————-‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎

you’ve had multiple guys in your life to say they’ve had you head over heals for them. physically maybe. something held you back from dating ever since getting heartbroken by your ex. however jude gave you a different view of that.

you had met jude a while back through a friends birthday party. you’d both had seemingly been watching each other and asked your friend to put both of yall on to each other. it was funny coincidence to your friend seeing both of their friends already so desperately trying to catch each others attention. but that was the beginning of everything, something you were remembering today just like it was yesterday.

•

you had been studying for a test that was literally almost your entire grade, it could basically break or make your entire percentage for that class. not that it matters. but this was obviously something you were taking serious. * bzz bzz * the name on your phone brought a wide smile to your face. you caught it trying to stop yourself from getting all flustered and nervous and answered the call with a grin.

“hello?”

J: “hey beautiful, i’m near your place, up for a ride?”

Y/N: “what kind of ride” — it was normal for yall to to flirt like this lol.

you heard that thick deep chuckle radiate through the speakers of you phone. god you loved him.

J: “feelin’ confident tonight huh? seriously though, you free?”

Y/N: “um, i’ve got a few more pages to look over but i’ll just do it tomorrow, how far away are you?”

you were starting to get up and organize your notes as you put down your glasses you had been using.

J: “like 5 minutes”

Y/N: “mkay, give me a few to get ready”

he gave you a quick approval and ended the call.

you weren't underdresses but you wouldn't say you were overly dressed as you are wearing a pair of a leggings, an essentials hoodie, and a pair of uggs you slid on by the front of your door. basic white girl outfits are so cute to you when you hang around.

it was about 8:47pm when you saw some car's lights flash through your living room window. you grabbed you keys and purse and walked outside to meet jude.

you opened the car door door and sat down closing it while trying to warm up your hands as it was a cold outside. but you refuse to wear a jacket. jude always makes fun of you for it.

J: "hey, you hungry?"

Y/N: "very.”

you both sat in a comfortable silence as yall ate at a park near your house.

“this is so fucking good” you said while your quite literally devouring you meal you got from the fast food place. jude bursted out laughing trying to sneakily take a fry from your box. “hey, that’s mine!” you said slapping his hand away. he moved away eating the single fry he got to steal with a grin on his face.

you saw it drop.

“what’s wrong?”

“y/n i need to tell you something, but please don’t freak out, or anything. please.”

something inside you already knew what it was. but you rather stay delusional then believe it.

“i won’t.” — “so, i’ve been thinking and i just need to tell you.”

mhm.

“so listen me and one of my friends have been getting closer and we’ve been talking for like the past week and I didn’t really know how to tell you because i really do care about you but i just really want a girl who’s trying to be in a relationship with me. i know we’ve gotten closer but i don’t know if I can do this talking stage anymore, you just aren’t what i’m looking for .”

you could hear a pin drop.

what the actual fuck.

“so you just did it behind my back disregarding my fucking feelings?” — “y/n it’s not like that i swear-”

“don’t fucking lie to me just to protect me, what the fuck is wrong with you bro” — “i didn’t want to lose you.”

“if you didn’t wanna lose me then you would’ve thought about that before you started talking to her behind my back.” — “i’m sorry.”

you just laughed. sorry. so fucking hilarious.

you picked up your food, shoved it in your bag and walked home. you thanked god for not living to far away from where you lived.

when you were a few blocks away you realized you weren’t crying. but you felt this heavy feeling in your heart. your gut. your head. you would’ve never expected this from the sweetest man you met.

i guess what they say it’s true. the nice ones are the worst ones.

that’s when you felt your eye well up with tears.

you entered your home as a different person than the one you left with.

[jlfletcher]

All I Really Want Is You

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x fem!reader

Warnings: bullet wounds, mentions of potential death (no one dies, just a small injury during a mission). This is told in 3rd person limited POV (of Miguel, mostly?). One-sided kind of. Reader can speak Spanish (is that considered a warning?).

Summary: This is how it all began for Miguel. From mere coincidence to something more. (Fluff/Romance)

Excerpt: "He realizes something and it’s arguable in his mind... Out of all the Spiders, you’re the anomaly."

A/N: This narrative is actually repurposed from my friend's spidersona story. It didn't have any romance in it originally but my version does and the more I wrote, the more it diverged from their initial story. They said they liked this version and gave me the go ahead to post it because they'll probably never share their's anyway.

Special thank you to my friend who edited this thing. I'm grateful that they were able to help me turn my messy notes and ramblings in a cohesive story.

I get really inspired by music. So, if I do continue to publish installments of this story, they'll most likely be written with songs included.

Also, I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. I've never had to format such a long post like this on here before.

Word Count: 13.9k (This is a slow burn)

Breakdown

I'm overworking 'til the sundown

Don't see the light inside my head now

There’s a faint buzzing sound that fills Miguel’s workspace. His eyes are a bit bloodshot and itchy from his lack of blinking. He’s grown irritated by now after hours of surveillance and Lyla badgering him to just take a break already. He keeps swatting her away with languid flicks of his wrist while sighing and rubbing his temple. There’s an ache in his head that’s dull yet ever-present but he feels like rest will not come to him anytime soon. He also remembered that he wanted to run diagnostics on a few of his lab’s systems that would ultimately take a while. The testing is usually run automatically but he’s disabled the scheduled maintenance cycle in order to have tasks to do when he's restless like now. Unfortunately for Miguel’s overactive mind, things have mellowed out in the multiverse for the time being. He's been trying to fill his time as he waits for something, anything to happen. It's caused him to grow a bit on edge as of late. Yes, there are still plenty of anomalies to be dealt with but he’s found the late hours to have grown more quiet. It seems that the uncharacteristic silence has planted an eerie feeling in him that he just can’t shake. What if the moment he steps away, something arises? Lyla calls him paranoid but truthfully, he can’t take the risk of complacency.

Eventually, he plops into his chair and prepares to stare at the monitors for another who knows how many hours. He glances over the society’s various CCTV displays in a sluggish attempt at monitoring the building. Yet, something catches his attention. His eyes zero in on a lone figure in the engineering lab. He blinks a bit slowly and scoots closer to take a better look while disregarding the buttons on the control panel in front of him that actually allows him to zoom in on the feed. The thought had completely escaped his foggy brain thanks to his chronic sleep deprivation. Languidly, his eyes flicker to the time and back up. 4:13 am.

I need to see you in my window

There’s not a doubt in Miguel’s mind about what or more accurately who it may be. It’s your form hunched over the workbench. Your signature pair of shoes gives you away entirely. Frankly, it’s not a surprise at this point. This may be the fourth or fifth time he's noticed your presence at such an unorthodox hour. You always tend to stay late at HQ because of your own odd sleeping schedule. He’s overheard you mention to Jess that your universe has a slight daytime shift compared to the others but he didn’t consider it to be by this much. This was nonetheless a preferred choice of company, albeit in an entirely different area of the building from him, because you're quiet and focus on your work. He's not entirely sure if the two of you have interacted for more than a single minute. Perhaps, that's why he prefers you over others. He's never actually spoken to you outside of very few mission assignments and reports. You've caught his eye before. At first, he noticed you were a bit too quiet. It initially caused suspicion to sew itself within his brain. However, after a brief investigation into you performed by Lyla, he concluded that it's simply the way you behave. Now, when you catch his eye he assumes it's due to how you carry yourself relative to others, professional and efficient. Despite the distance between you two, both figurative and literal in this moment, he finds himself watching you through one of the many floating windows before him. His fingers finally slither among the control panel to switch to a different camera in the lab. After flicking through a couple of feeds, the screen changes to an angle that shows your face. Perhaps he's a bit too tired in this instance because his hazy brain barely registers the way his breath hitches in his throat momentarily.

He's seen your bare face only once before and it summoned the same reaction from him. He's taken aback by how you look. It's a bit of a surprise in all honesty. You're so, for lack of a better term, different. And that's not claimed in some common colloquial way. You are literally different. Here at the society, a handful of faces are circulated between the Spiders. However, yours is unique and undoubtedly you. He's only ever come across one of you, the one that's sitting and tinkering in one of his labs. The last and only time he saw your bare face was a fleeting glance before you quickly shoved your mask back on. He assumes you're a bit shy because of it. However, now he can take his time to really analyze your features. He sees how your brows pinch in concentration and how your eyes look a bit red. Ah, it appears you haven't been blinking properly like him either. He sees how your tongue gently swipes out from your mouth before you nip at your bottom lip. Your hands work on repairing a circuit board with your eyes focused on the corrosion you wipe off. He watches you for a while as you work, finding intrigue in the way you do such mundane tasks as repairing a PCB and reassembling a gadget. Eventually, you sit up and stretch a bit, before rubbing your face in what he collects as either exhaustion or boredom. He understands the feeling, truly. Yet his eyes widen a bit as your eyes look at the camera and he finds himself perking up when he sees you smile. He then zooms out to see that you’re conversing with Lyla. Despite the quick misunderstanding, he finds himself enjoying the scene before him. You speak to her so calmly and casually. Do you often speak with her? Many thoughts start to pop up in his mind about you and your overall enigmatic behavior. Your smile triggers hyperactivity to blossom in his mind, his thoughts reeling at the way you look. Your lips pinch together softly as one side of your mouth curls a bit more than the other. Your brows raise as you speak with Lyla, your contentment is evident. He's caught up in the details of your face and it's nearly instinctual the way the corners of his lips twitch in a subconscious attempt to mirror yours.

And I whisper

All I really want is you

What would you do?

He has formed this habit of watching you in the late nights and early mornings. At first, it was mere coincidence when his eyes lingered on you, maybe even out of some sense of caution, but now he finds himself seeking you out after a month of noticing your constant presence. Lyla teased him about being a creep but he usually just replies with a grunt or the occasional snarky comment. Every night you’re working on something and his curiosity is piqued. However, it appears you work efficiently given how it seems to be a new project every few nights or so. His eyes flutter a bit as he sees Lyla appear next to you. Judging by the way you react to her arrival, it’s just for a chat. He notices how your hands rest over one another in front of you as you nod at what Lyla says, laughing and blinking softly at her. You’re polite when listening, putting down whatever you’re working on to give her your attention. The only assumption he's made from it being that you're simply kind. His eyes are attracted to the way your thumbs twiddle around one another absentmindedly. Do you often fidget like that? He tries to think back on the previous times he witnessed your hands when they were not busy, which is not a common occurrence. And as he watches you, he strokes the panel button under his own thumb subconsciously as if it were the back of your hand. He’s only managed to conclude one thing about them and it’s not about how you fidget.

He mutters to himself deeply in observation, “Pequeñas.”

He looks at your hands, pixelated by the monitor, and then down at his own much bigger ones. He ponders momentarily about just how small they truly are. He's certain that if he were to measure them, the entire length would barely reach 7 inches while his are well past 9, probably even past 10 in actuality. If you placed your palm against his, his hand would completely dwarf yours. If you placed your palm against his... what would it fit like? What would it feel like? What would you do if he held your hand? Wait… why is he thinking about that?

“But,” he mumbles softly as he watches you walk off with Lyla in tow, “I think…”

Laying in the rain with you

Middle of June

It’s been two months since he fully took notice of you that night with his full attention; the night he seen you truly as yourself for the first time. From what Lyla has mentioned, you’ve been here almost every night since you joined the society. It doesn’t bother him that he hadn’t noticed you for so long. To him, it made sense. He often found himself drowned in work. Things were hectic for a while, a long while, but luckily during these past few months, things have been relatively easy. Emergency missions in the middle of the night have been few and far between and usually required only one person to complete them which is why Miguel has been manning the fort all by his lonesome for some time now. However, the only other spider permitted to be at HQ during the overnight hours is you thanks to your completely reversed day-night schedule. The two of you have been on a handful of late night missions together throughout this time but he has yet to speak to you about anything not regarding work. It’s a bit strange if he’s being truthful. You may be the only spider that has never spoken to him casually, ever. Sure, he’s suspected you are antisocial but he hadn’t anticipated it to be by this much. You don’t stand out, you stay focused on your work, and you never talk to anyone. Well, that last one isn’t too unbelievable given the fact that you’re only ever here when everyone else isn’t. Miguel can’t help but wonder if you have ever spoken to anyone in the Society without the intention of completing your professional duties? The closest to such an instance was the one time he heard you speak to Jess which was also the first time he had ever seen you. Jess was going to introduce you to him but he was busy having an argument with Hobie. It never grew to be physical but his shouting certainly must have put you off considering he never saw you around again after that. It makes sense, truthfully, since that was your first impression of him. You must think he's always shouting, irritated, and highly intolerant of disobeying his instruction. That is what he was yelling about at the time after all. Well, that is until he noticed you lingering around the building at night. Honestly, you weren’t even a thought in his mind until Lyla sent him a debriefing of you just before Jess officially assigned you to the night shift. He was going to protest, citing that you have no meritorious experience to do so or something like that but he found out that you don’t actually bother him like everyone else. However, he’s grown very aware of your presence as of late thanks to his more unoccupied overnight schedule.

He even has time to just sit and think about anything other than the multiverse now. Usually, this spare time is occupied by observing you. He likes to sit back and watch all the tasks you do with no one around. He finds it relaxing in a way, which is something he’s grateful for. He’s discovered many things about you through this newfound hobby. You tilt your head with a small pout when you’re confused. You often have music stuck in your head which is made evident by the way you nod your head rhythmically. You rub your face with both hands when you’re tired and only one hand when you’re bored. You like to take power naps under the workbench specifically in the left corner of the lab, closest to the door. You usually wear civilian clothing around HQ at night but always wear the same shoes. You don’t like coffee. You drink tea but it has to be hot with steam billowing from the cup. You drink water more often than tea though, but only at room temperature. You crack your knuckles in 30-minute intervals when you type or tinker for long periods of time. You yawn frequently when the air-conditioner is pointed at you… The list could go on. Honestly, he’s a bit taken aback by how much knowledge he’s retained of your behavior and mannerisms. Why is that exactly? He can’t just claim outright boredom. Watching you is something he avidly chooses to do because he likes it. Bored certainly isn't the word he'd use to describe how observing you makes him feel.

“Why am I doing this?”, he mutters deeply as his eyes watch you type away on a computer. Maybe it’s like a child with an ant farm. It’s simply interesting. No, that doesn’t quite sound right. Even ‘interesting’ doesn’t truly capture how he feels watching you every night.

Soon a bright search window pops up in front of him, making him flinch aggressively. “Lyla!”, he shouts in annoyance as he rubs his stinging eyes; already knowing the culprit.

She pops up next to him with a shrug, “What? You asked a question and I’m answering it.”

He squints softly, his eyes focusing on the window presented to him. There are multiple articles listing words that make him furrow his brows. Intrigue, infatuation, sonder, escapism, comfort-watching. To Lyla’s surprise, he mulls them over but she chalks it up to his sleep deprivation. Some words stick out to him, finding himself unfamiliar with them.

“Comfort-watching.”, he states slowly as he selects the article. It explains what it is and what it stems from, denoting its connection to escapism. “The habitual diversion of the mind to purely imaginative activity or entertainment as an escape from reality or routine.”, he reads aloud, words muffled by his hand stroking his chin. Well, that didn’t make sense, watching you is his routine at this point.

He wouldn’t describe what you do as entertainment in theory and it’s certainly not imaginative. It’s just him watching how you do normal things. He softly chews his lip as he glosses over the other articles.

Lyla mimics his actions and strokes her chin, opening another article in front of her form. “Oh? This’ll be interesting.”, she thinks before speaking to Miguel, who’s now distracted by both the articles and his occasional glances at you. “Why do you like watching y/s/n?” [your spider name]

He replies with a sigh as he waves his hands around, positioning the articles around him, “That's what I’m trying to figure out, Lyla.”

“Just think for a moment. Off the top of your head, what’s one thing you like about doing this?”, she gestures to the monitor containing you. The two of them glance at you through one of the screens standing from your seat and stretching your whole body in an attempt to reduce your exhaustion.

Miguel’s inquisitive eyes soften a bit as he responds earnestly, “It’s familiar.” Lyla’s face flashes a bit in curiosity as she observes his expression. Before she can speak again, he continues, “This is calm and… warm.”

“Warm?”, Lyla asks curiously, her eyes fluttering over the chart in the article she opened. She's notated a couple of checkmarks now, in places she hadn't expected.

His eyes just can’t leave you as he thinks about what he’s said. It’s hard to put exactly into words, “I… appreciate her presence. She’s always there and it makes me feel comfortable.” There’s a strange feeling that stirs inside him upon hearing the words he formulates in response. You, a complete stranger, have somehow become a totem of routine in his eyes. Because after watching you nearly every night, you are always there working. Always. Despite the strange and unpredictable multiverse the two of you reside in, you sit in one of his labs, typing away on a computer. In a sense you’ve become the embodiment of normal.

Lyla repeats quietly but not lacking the casual tone she usually holds, “Her… Do you ever want to talk to y/s/n?”

He hums in thought before replying with an unsure shrug, “Honestly… I never even considered that. I don’t think I need to.”

Lyla glances back at the article and then back to Miguel, “But do you want to?”

His movements stall as her question hangs in the air. He takes a moment to apprehend what she’s asking. His eyes trail slowly from the articles floating around him to you on the CCTV display. You're crawling under that specific workbench in the left corner of the lab for what he knows is a power nap; he finds himself almost smiling at that. Does he want to talk to you? He ponders a situation in which he finds himself conversing with you casually. What would you talk about? He knows you like tea. Would you talk about your favorite kind? What is your favorite kind? How would you pronounce it? How do you pronounce certain words like caramel or aluminum? Maybe like aluminium? Maybe you say it differently than he does. He can imagine a light-hearted debate over phonetics, the two of you drowsy from the late night hours. Maybe you’ll tease him about the way he says it. How would you say… his name? You’ve spoken his name before on missions with a professional tone, always addressing him by his surname. It irks him a bit but he's never gotten around to informing you to just call him Miguel… How would you sound calling out to him in a tone that's amicable and familiar?

He’s broken out of his thoughts by Lyla waving her pixelated arms in front of him and a shout of his name, “Miguel!” He jolts at the sound of an alarm beeping around him. Bold words pop out in front of him, “ANOMALY DETECTED”. He hears his family name called out and straightens at the sound. That’s not Lyla's voice. He turns around to see you in your suit, tucking the hem of your mask into your collar as you trek to his platform. His hand waved behind him, minimizing the displays floating around him to hide the clues to his distraction with a single motion.

He hears you speak in a sober tone as you stand before him, “Lyla informed me that we’re both needed for this one. There’s an anomaly running around a metropolitan area on Earth-26. It travels quickly so we'll have to chase after it. Also, there doesn’t appear to be anyone to help.” He nods quickly, navigating through the multiversal map on his watch to open a portal. He nearly flinches as you gently grasp his forearm, looking up at him slowly.

“O'Hara,” you said calmly, which made him look at you curiously, “full stealth on this one. I’m uncertain how this universe would respond to… our kind.”

His lips nearly press into his natural pout under his mask as you address him by his family name but quickly absorbs what you're truly saying to him. He’s had a couple run-ins with a universe like this before and understands your concern entirely. He slowly pulls your hand from his forearm. The size difference doesn’t skip past him and makes something buzz in the back of his brain. Yet it’s subconscious, the way his fingers linger around yours before he releases them and states firmly, “Stay close to me.” You nod in understanding which he reciprocates before opening a portal. You flip open your watch and quickly calibrate your interface and send sync data to his watch to stay connected during the mission. It’s strange how ready you appear to be but it’s greatly appreciated. He hadn’t realized that he was staring before you turned towards him. You tilt your head softly and unbeknownst to you, he knows without a doubt that it’s out of curiosity. He gives you a nod, hoping it didn’t look as strange as he felt doing it. You step through the portal first and he’s quick to follow after as Lyla observes it all with an inquisitive squint.

All I really want is you

This was an uncommon feeling. You two chased after the anomaly, zipping through the sleeping city's skies quickly. Luckily, you both haven’t been spotted by anyone as you swing through the late-night drizzle. He started feeling a bit… he supposes ‘at ease’ is the best way to put it. He’s not foolish enough to grow complacent mid-mission but being on mission with you, working so seamlessly with him, made this feel easy. You’re professional, giving clear cues and staying on the same page. It’s as if you can hear what he’s thinking. Sure lego Spider-man is a good teammate but you’re a good partner.

The anomaly made its way to a rooftop with you right on its tail. You landed quickly with a soft roll before keeping low to the ground while Miguel landed behind you with a soft grunt. You crouched a bit as you tiptoed around gently, trying not to alarm the anomaly located somewhere nearby. He waits on standby, keeping a lookout for anyone who might see you two while you try to catch the small creature. You freeze as you see the silhouette of it, patting the ground with stubby limbs, seemingly ready to take flight again. That is until you squat down and pat the ground too. It looks at you and tilts its head, another action that you mimic before removing your mask. It slowly walks to its right and you gently shuffle to your left. You release a chuckle as you can see something that looks like a tail wagging. The noise meets Miguel’s ears and he turns to find you squatting and maskless. His eyes widen at the sight, fighting the hitch in his breath as he sees your h/c hair, it looks much softer in person. His eyes narrow is realization as he quickly replaces his intrigue with his usual pragmatism.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he speaks monotone, “What are you doing?”

You release a slow and soft, “Shhhh.” You then gently raise your hand, motioning him to approach you. His fingers twitch instinctively as he looks at your flopping hand and surprises himself by reaching out for it. However, his mellow emotions are doused in confusion as you tug him down quickly. He nearly falls on top of you, clearly not anticipating such sudden strength from you. Luckily, he manages to brace himself, kneeling behind you, and leaning a bit over your shoulder. He’s about to ask what the hell you’re doing when you point to the far corner of the rooftop. His eyes widen as he watches the dark creature slowly slink toward the two of you.

You breathe out quietly to Miguel, “Deactivate your mask.” He turns to you in shock despite you not looking at him. He’s about to protest before you whisper, “It needs to see your face.”

He acquiesces your command and slowly retracts his mask. The air nips at his warm face as he spies the creature tilting its head. You tilt your head too while whispering to him, “Mimic what it does.”

Miguel begins to protest but you quickly cut off his words, “Why-?”

“Just do it.” He nearly rolls his eyes at your sudden command but finds himself following suit as he tilts his head too. He watches curiously as the creature pats the ground with its left paw and you mirror it with your right hand. He grows a bit amused watching the two of you continue this little dance until it slowly crawls closer to you both. Miguel can hear your breath hitch as the creature steps into the light shining from over the door to the rooftop you all are on. It’s dark and covered with scales, with large blue eyes and bat-like wings. Your hand is still placed on the ground as the creature cautiously closes the distance between you. You cautiously turn your hand palm up, Miguel is confused by this but continues to watch nonetheless. The creature's eyes look up at you warily with tightly constricted pupils. You then turn your head, facing away from it and toward Miguel quickly. He barely manages to lean back enough to avoid you smacking your head into his shoulder.

He looks at you quizzically as you whisper to him, “Keep your eyes on me.” His brows furrow which indicates his clear confusion at your command. You respond cautiously yet softly, “Don’t look it in the eyes. It’s still scared.” Miguel slowly nods in understanding as his eyes stay on yours. 

There’s something that fizzles in his ears as he stares at you. Your eyes are oddly… calming. He’s never thought of looking at them before. At least not in an intentional way like this, unlike the usual polite eye contact you’re obligated to give someone you work with. It's so strange seeing you in person up close like this. He also has to fight the heat he feels making its way onto his cheeks at your close proximity. Your eyes sparkle a bit from the dim moonlight and there's drops of rain littered around your hair. You look so soft and inviting. There's not a sliver of malice anywhere across your features. He's sure this small anomaly is smart enough to come to you.

Soon he feels his lungs quiver in his chest as he watches your eyes crinkle as you smile. You’re chuckling. Why are you chuckling? His ears are roaring by the time you turn back toward the creature. His gaze lingers on the side of your face before looking down at the little one who’s currently licking and nuzzling into your hand, giving it playful nips. He smiles at that, grateful that this mission will end easier than expected.

The creature jumps on you and licks your face with a happy warble. Miguel tenses, worried that it may be attacking you until you release a giggle as you coo warmly, slowly standing with the creature wrapped in your arms. The sound tingles in Miguel's ears and he can’t help but watch you almost mesmerized as you carry the creature carefully before he stands back up next to you.

You comfort the creature with soft words as your nimble fingers quickly fashion a tracker to the little beast then click your watch. You speak calmly as you stare down at the baby creature with a smile, “Lyla, may you please check for any residual anomalies?” Lyla appears behind the creature and gives you a little salute before her visage flits around and scans the area. Miguel approaches to inspect the animal but leans back when it attempts to sniff at him which makes you chuckle at his stiffness. Then, you gently scratch between the animal’s horns as you walk closer to him to let it smell him properly. He stands awkwardly, watching its nostrils flare with each sniff of his arm.

You look around at the skyline behind him with a sigh, “What a view. Do you ever-”. Your voice fades off quickly as you squint, looking at something in the distance. Miguel notices as your hand stops moving and you cradle the creature protectively. Before he can even look at you, you shout while shoving him to the ground roughly, “Sniper!”. You yelp as something pierces your forearm violently, making your knees wobble. The creature jumps out of your hold, having sensed your body going limp before you slump into Miguel’s arms. The creature nuzzles into your dangling hand with a sad whine.

Miguel immediately enters high alert. He stays low as shots ring out above you, dragging you behind a structure to obstruct you all from whatever the hell is attacking. You're slumped against him as he shakes you softly with a tense voice, patting your face anxiously, “Y/s/n? Y/s/n wake up!” He sees the creature standing on its hind legs pawing at your thigh, looking up at him with scared eyes. Miguel shouts out into the air, “Lyla!” Immediately, a portal opens in front of you three.

Lyla speaks in a rushed tone, looking down at you worriedly, “I didn’t detect any more anomalies. Hurry.” Miguel scoops up both you and the anomaly, holding you tight as he jumps through the portal quickly.

What would you do?

Sleeping outside, the moon

Tripping with you

Miguel’s quick as he carries you to the med bay, the anomaly’s little legs trying to keep up with his long, wide strides. He places you on a bed and pulls up a med pod. He runs a full scan of your body and finds a bit of relief when it is concluded that you got dosed with a tranquilizer but he’s still tense. Usually a tranq doesn’t work that instantaneously; nor does it cause a strong shift in your blood pressure like this… It’s almost as if it’s thinned your blood. He sanitizes and gloves up quickly before grabbing some supplies to remove the projectile lodged in your arm. Fortunately, it doesn't take too long to remove all the pieces of the dart that broke apart. There's a bad feeling in his stomach as he does. He's never seen a tranq dart do such a thing. Why is it so fragile? Miguel has Lyla analyze the fragments while he cleans the wound.

He steals a glance at the little creature sitting in the doorway, its eyes watching you intently. He speaks evenly as he floods the wound with saline, gently patting it dry, “Don’t worry, she’s okay. She’s just sleeping.” He finishes wrapping your arm gingerly with a bandage and pulls the bed sheet over you, raising each of your arms to rest over the sheet. He stares at your hand in his for a moment. It’s warm. Your hands are warm and tiny compared to his. So, that’s how they feel… He blinks himself out of his thoughts and gently sets your hand down by your side to let you rest.

“You can come over. I’m done but she won’t be awake for a while.” Miguel says before looking over at the little beast. He’s almost surprised when it appears to understand what he’s said. After all, you did mention during the mission that it seemed highly intelligent relative to other wild animals. It stands, slowly trudging over before hopping onto the bed beside your leg. It looks at you and then turns to crawl on you cautiously as if it’s afraid of hurting you. After a few moments of hesitation, it pats the bed, circling a few times before settling down between your feet. Finally, it rests its chin on your leg, looking at you with large eyes while its tail curls around itself, and releases a soft bleat.

The display of how gentle it acts with you nearly makes him scoff in disbelief. It’s hard to believe that this is the same angry little beast that tried to claw at him earlier in the night. He's almost offended, truthfully. Why was it so mean to him? It seems to act like a cat, aggressive one moment then clingy the next. Miguel's eyes drift back up to look at you as he works around the room. He thinks for a moment to himself, "I guess between the two of us, I'd go to her too." He shakes the thoughts from his head. Miguel plops back onto the stool beside your bed with a sigh, having just finished cleaning up the soiled supplies. He yawns and scratches his jaw tiredly before he crosses his arms over his chest. The adrenaline that was once in his body is now long gone and his prior exhaustion floods him tenfold. However, he’s able to mutter with droopy eyes that watch your peaceful sleeping face, “What were you going to ask me?” He soon couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, his body feeling heavy and slowly slumping over as he drifted off to sleep. 

Head down

Miguel groans as he feels something slimy on his forehead. He squints harshly at the light that penetrates his eyelids but before he can get up to stretch he freezes at what he hears.

"Hey, hey. Don't do that, little one. He needs to rest."

He's about to just sit up to explain that it's too late but your voice breaks through with a gentle coo. "Oh. Look what you did, honey. You messed it up…"

Before his mind can propel itself into countless thoughts of hearing you say the pet name in such an endearing way, he feels something gently card through his hair. There's something that erupts down his spine at the sensation and that faint fizzling in his ears returns. Especially when he can feel your fingers graze against his helix as you sweep some strands of his hair behind it. He feels his body melt at your ministrations.

Now, he chooses not to move or open his eyes. He pretends to be asleep on what he can blindly tell is the edge of the bed you’re resting in. He enjoys this, the sound of your voice as you comfort and hush the little anomaly the two of you caught. He hears sad warbling and feels the bed move a bit. He manages to cautiously crack an eye open to peek at you cradling the creature close as it sniffs and licks your bandage gently.

You speak softly to it, "Hey, shh-shh. It's okay, I'm okay. See?" You poke the bandage, not where the wound is but the edge of it, to prove that it's fine. You point at Miguel which causes him to shut his eyes quickly before you speak again, "He protected me and helped me get better. So, it's okay." He feels the bed shift as you quietly chuckle, "Ah, ah. Don’t do that, love. I don't want to wake him up, he was really tired." He can sense you stopping the creature from approaching him further as you stand.

There's a soft shuffle that can be heard around him before he feels something drape over his shoulders. You speak so delicately near his ear as you cover him, “Thank you for taking care of me. Sweet dreams.”

He hears the rustling of fabric and the soft plodding of your feet along the floor accompanied by your voice, "Okay, baby. Let's go." Miguel's eyes peek open to see you walking out of the infirmary with the little creature trotting next to you.

Once you’re gone he turns his head, pulling the fabric off his back. It's your cardigan. The one that you were wearing earlier before the mission. His eyes still feel heavy as he bunches up the fabric under him. His nose is flooded with a scent he's unused to. It smells warm and comfortable and soon he drifts off again with his arms wrapped securely around your cardigan below his head.

That’s what you are, he thinks. Warm and comfortable.

I don't know when to come up for air now

It's been a couple of days since your e-26 mission together and you haven't spoken since. Like usual, you spend the night in the lab and Miguel busies himself with some backlogged reports. However, his eyes still glance over to the monitor displaying you occasionally. He's noticed that you haven't worked as much as before. Sure, you’ve tinkered with a few things but you mostly just write in a notebook and slump over the workbench now. He pauses to inspect your face then switches to a camera angle that shows what you're writing. Oh. You're not writing, you're sketching something. He zooms in to see a picture of the anomaly you two sent back after Miguel woke up that morning. Just as he thought, you were depressed because your little friend had to go back home. That’s a lie, he hadn’t actually thought of that at all. Truthfully, he was starting to grow concerned that something was wrong with you… He watches as you add detail to the eyes, the tip of your pencil faintly tracing along the paper to simulate each streak across its irises. It's this that reminds him of when he stared into your eyes. They're much richer than expected, drowned in a color that is so… you. It's you because it's comforting and relaxing and deep. Comfortable and warm. He remembers the words with a soft hum.

He catches something bright appearing next to you. It's Lyla. He's found that you two converse almost every night. What do you two talk about? How many things have you discussed? There’s something unknown that bubbles in the pit of his stomach as these thoughts fill his head. Eventually, his curiosity gets the best of him and he switches on the audio feed. The thought of this being a violation of your privacy, completely slipping past him. He gently sits down as he listens to the two of you talk.

"Raon? What does it mean?", Lyla questions curiously.

You rest your chin on your hand as you lean against the table, looking up at Lyla with a warm smile as you reply, "It means joyful. He looks just like… ah, it’s nothing." You trailed softly but soon chuckled with a wave of your hand.

The scene before him makes Miguel smile softly to himself. It’s such a mundane conversation yet he finds enjoyment from it. Especially from the soft chuckle that comes from you. 

"Hey, did you ever get around to-" Lyla begins but is cut off by your quick response.

"Nope… sorry.", You apologize with a bow of your head, realizing you interrupted her, "I should probably soon, huh?"

"Uh, yeah. The window of validity is closing, bud.", Lyla conjures up a window beside her before shutting it slowly as she raises a brow at you.

You nod and sigh, standing from your seat before turning to leave, "You're right. Thanks for reminding me, Lyla."

She hums to you before disappearing off the screen. She soon pops up next to Miguel who’s watching the feed of you walking through a corridor. She leans over his shoulder and speaks near his ear, "Stalker much?"

Miguel jolts at that and quickly exits off the camera display. He grunts and pulls some reports in front of him in a feeble attempt to cover up what he was doing, "I'm not a stalker."

She smirks and sings with an almost smug tone, "Ah, c'mon. It's just a joke, Miguel. Don't pout."

He states evenly as his eyes glance over the files presented before him, “Not pouting.”

“You never answered my question, y’know?”

“What question?”

“Do you want to talk to y/s/n?” She emphasizes her words with raised brows as she slowly orbits around his head to face him.

He blinks in thought, recalling the recent mission. You’re unfinished words wading upon the surface of his mind and truthfully they have been in his thoughts ever since you first uttered them into the night air. It wasn’t in your usually professional tone. It sounded more casual and unfortunately, you were cut short before finishing your sentence. “Do you ever… Do I ever what?”, he muses as his fingers rub at the side of his chin. He nods slowly before mumbling, “Yes… I think I do.”

Lyla bends down to smirk smugly at him with her arms akimbo, “Good.”

He squints at her and voices his confusion, “What do you mean? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“O’Hara?”, he stiffened as his eyes went wide at the sound of your voice. He composes himself quickly with a low grunt before turning to you.

Unfortunately, you misunderstand this, “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“You’re not interrupting me. I just remembered something. Did something happen?”

You absorb his fast-paced sentences, “No, I just wanted to talk to you.”

He’s shocked by this but his face doesn’t show it. If only you knew of the discussion you just interrupted by coming here.

“I wanted to formally thank you for taking care of me.”, you spoke calmly while looking up at him on his platform. He noticed your hand resting over your bandaged arm, confusion taking over his features. You noticed this and looked down at your arm too, nodding before your gaze returned to him. You subconsciously rub the bandage as you speak, “Ah, this. I don’t… heal as quickly as the rest of you.”

He mulls over your words, the rest of you. You speak in a way that alienates yourself from the Spiders. It’s a phrase he can understand due to him constantly being put in his own category relative to the other spider-people. Other… He supposes he speaks about himself the same as you. So that’s that sense of familiarity explained, albeit partially. He asks with his naturally stoic expression, “Why is that?” He watches with furrowed brows as you think of how to respond.

You softly shake your head with a shrug, “I just don’t.”

Before either of you can speak again, Lyla questions while pointing at you next to Miguel. There’s a small smirk on her face, “Hey, y/s/n? What’s that?” Miguel looks at her curiously before looking down at the box in your hands.

“Oh, this is just… This is for you, O’Hara.”, you take a step forward towards his platform. Miguel’s brows shoot up not only at what you say but at his now descending platform. He looks over to Lyla who smirks at him, clearly the cause. He clears his throat as his workspace reaches your level, “Is it something to sign off on?” He thinks that maybe you’re ready to beta-test new equipment that needs approval first.

You shake your head and hand the box to him with a small smile, “No. This is a thank you.”

He furrows his brows again as he slowly opens the box with his words trailing off, “A thank you?...” It’s… they’re empanadas. You just gave him a box of empanadas as a thank you? 

“I heard Jess mention you liked empanadas. Sorry, they’re not the ones from the cafeteria though.”

He stares at them for a few more seconds. They’re warm. Are they fresh? How? It’s almost 3 am. Did you pick them up from your universe? “You didn’t have to give me this. I didn’t really-”

“You saved my life.” His eyes widen a bit as they meet yours. Ah. So you found out…

Your hands wring together nervously as you speak, “Lyla showed me the analysis of the fragments you pulled from my arm. Etorphine is a strong agent as is but it was formulated into a high-dose soluble projectile. If you hadn’t helped me so quickly, it would have dissolved into my blood and…”

“Thank you.”, Miguel all but whispers with his head down.

“You don’t have to thank me for thanking yo-”

“You took that shot for me.”, he quickly cuts you off. His eyes slowly trailing up to meet yours with firm sincerity. “Why did you take that shot?”

You rub your nape as you avoid his gaze and reply in an almost soft voice, “Ah. I didn’t really think about it… my body just moved on its own.”

There’s a bit of an awkward silence that spreads between you two as you both avoid each other’s eyes. Miguel stares back down at the food before speaking, “You really didn’t have to give me these.”

You speak with gentle hand gestures, a trait he didn’t know you had until now, “No, no. Please take them. I made them to thank you. It’s how I show proper gratitude. Honestly, I don’t think it’s enough.”

He looks at you in thought before looking back down at them with raised brows and a gentle smirk, “You made them?”

You tense, eyes darting to Lyla but she only offers you a quiet snicker. You sigh before nodding slowly, “Yes, I did. I’m sorry if you think they taste bad.”

He’s amused at your word choice. You didn’t say if they taste bad, you said if he thinks they taste bad. So you cook. And it sounds like you cook well given how confidently you speak about what you make.

Before he speaks, Lyla asks you something and motions you toward the control panel, “Y/n/n, come take a look at this.” [your nickname]

You bow your head briefly at Miguel with a modest smile before making your way to the screen Lyla opens for you. That’s another habit of yours he wasn’t fully aware of. He stands back and watches as you point at the screen and discuss it with Lyla. Your arms cross as you stand before the monitors, your face morphed from your inquisitiveness as you inspect the blueprint Lyla shows you. This makes him calm again. Watching you always made him calm and relaxed. However, it feels a bit stronger when you’re standing just a meter or so away from him. With you here now, so close to him, he actually feels warm. There’s a heat that surrounds him that he just can’t really explain. He continues his musings before taking a bite of the empanada absentmindedly but his eyes shoot down at the food as he tastes it. These aren’t like the ones from the cafeteria, they’re far better. The cafeteria carries standard beef empanadas. Beef and seasoning, it’s hard to mess it up. But these? Is this stew? This is honestly the best thing he's eaten in a long time. His foot stutters as he prevents himself from stepping closer to you and swallows the delicious bite before mumbling, “Are these-”

“Salteñas, sí.” His eyes travel up to see you looking back at him with a warm smile and nod. The way you say it is so natural. It rolls off your tongue so smoothly. Do you speak Spanish?

“Wow, it eats!”, Lyla cheers sarcastically.

“Lyla!”, he groans in annoyance.

“What do you-”, you unfurl your arms and look at him with what he recognizes as concern, “Sir, are you not eating properly?” You turn to face him completely and approach him slowly when all he returns is silence.

Lyla floats over to you, her voice laced with a haughty tone as she tattles, “No. No, he is not.” He grunts and tries to snatch her holographic form. His hand just misses her as she teleports to your other side with a giggle.

“O’Hara,” you call to him in a tone that’s so soft while still holding firmness. That’s new. It’s not as casual as he imagined and you’re still addressing him by his surname but he’s still pleased with how it sounds coming from you in that tone. “How often do you eat?”

He tenses a bit and looks away from your eyes before he gets lost in more of his thoughts. “I eat.” His brows furrowed as he mentally berates himself for his obvious statement. Of course, he eats. Estúpido. His embarrassment quickly triggered his next words despite how unexpected they are, even to him, “What does it matter to you?”

He feels an odd sense of uneasiness as he notices your lack of reaction. He’s quick to attempt to amend his words, “It’s appreciated but it’s none of your concern when I do and don’t eat.” Then there is more silence. It weighs heavily in the air awkwardly. He realizes his words may seem a bit harsh given how tense his voice is. He’s unsure what to say now and for once the silence from you isn’t so comfortable.

“O’Hara.”, you say more sternly as you cross your arms. He can’t help the way he feels like a child being scolded by their teacher. What truly catches him off guard is how firm your tone is despite how gentle you look at him, “Stop deflecting.”

It all makes him feel a bit small despite him being the one looking down at you due to your apparent size difference. He’s never been fond of his height. It’s annoying and cumbersome but the way your body positions itself to stare at him makes him think that it’s not that bad. Your head has to tilt back for your eyes to meet his. Those rich eyes of yours… The e/c encompasses your pupils in such an inviting way [eye color]. And each time you blink he catches a glimpse of how your lashes flutter against your skin. His eyes slowly travel along your features. Your forehead creases softly as your brows raise. The action makes your eyes appear larger as you look up at him. Then he sees your lips moving slowly. They’re not shiny nor are they chapped. But they do look smooth as he sees the tip of your tongue softly curl behind your teeth as you speak. Your words slowly grow less foggy before he flinches at the feeling of your hand gently holding his forearm. There’s a slight ringing in his ears as your voice finally reaches him.

“Mr. O’Hara, are you okay? You’re flushed.”

“What?”, he breathes out in a rushed tone before his eyes focus out to see the entirety of your worried expression. He gently tugs at the collar of his suit uncomfortably. He actually feels the heat now, it’s more intense than before.

“You’re burning up. It’s warm in here too…”. You quickly grab the box of food from his hand and place it on a nearby tabletop before pulling him toward the entrance of his work area. “Here, come with me.”

You take my hand like there's a way out (way out)

And we're escaping through the window

Miguel isn’t sure how but he now finds himself in a rather unfamiliar situation. You’re dragging him around by the wrist. However, it’s apparent that he follows seamlessly behind you. It feels natural for him to just maintain your lead, especially when there’s very little energy within him to resist. He watches how you walk in front of him. You walk in a way that makes you look smaller than you actually are. It’s as if you’re trying to hide. Why is that? Your shoulders are slouched a bit forward as you guide him through the corridors. His eyes drift to the back of your head, watching the way your hair gently bounces with each one of your steps. You halt for a moment which causes him to nearly stumble into you. Your grip on his wrist falters briefly before sliding down to take him by the hand. The action completely slips past you as you decide where to walk next, but it surely does not get past him. He has to fight the urge to squeeze his hand around yours but utterly fails. He’s not too upset about this. Truthfully, most of his awareness was occupied by trying not to let his claws protrude from his fingertips. You turn back to look at him but he’s quick to avoid your eyes, oscillating his head mindlessly.

You must have taken this as a sign of his unwell state because soon you're tugging him through the cafeteria with a firm whisper, “Over there. You need fresh air.”

His red face and his lack of words must make him appear as though he won’t be able to last the trek to the infirmary. You gently squeeze his hand which makes his eyes snap back to you quickly. Making your way to the large terrace, you push the glass door open. The air sweeps past you both as you guide him to sit on one of the patio chairs scattered among the outdoor area. His eyes are dazed as he looks up at you standing in front of him but they haven’t left you for even a moment since you squeezed his hand. But now your hand is no longer in his. He’s surprised to find himself a bit annoyed at that. You’re moving too fast, he thinks. All your actions are slipping away from him thanks to his hazy mind and he doesn’t appreciate it. You pull a handkerchief out of your back pocket and pat his sweaty forehead. His eyes watch you as you do. Your lips press into a line as you gently bite your bottom lip. Your eyes are full of concern as they roam over the sight of his flushed face. You remove your hand from his space as you step back a bit, wanting to let him feel the light breeze.

He spies how your hands start to reach out but retract back to your side, settling on your hips instead. You speak evenly as you look at him, “Are you okay? Does that feel better?” It’s gradual as he breaks out of his cloudy stupor, the wind finally cooling him down. He nods slowly before something slithers out of his brain and past his lips.

And I whisper

“What?”, you tilt your head curiously.

“Miguel….”, he breathes out, “My name is Miguel.”

You blink at him and speak with a bit of concern, “I know tha-”

“I don’t like being called O’Hara or Sir or Mr. O’Hara. Call me Miguel.”

You nod softly as you take in his words before giving him a small smile, “Okay. From now on I’ll call you Miguel.”

He almost smiles at the sound of his name rolling off your tongue but catches himself before it’s too late. His brows furrowed in confusion as you gently extended your hand toward him. You smile softly as you gently grasp his hand and shake it with a kind tone, “My name is y/n. It’s only fair that you address me as such.”

His brain stalls for a few moments, absorbing your name. It’s so fitting in a previously unknown yet expectedly pleasant way. Of course, that’s your name. He looks up at you in thought as you gently pull your hand from his, “Y/n, huh? It’s… pretty.”

He tenses in realization for a moment before slowly speaking, ensuring that his own curiosity remains undetectable, “The other night on e-26, on the rooftop. What were you going to ask me?”

You’re taken aback and stand back up, your lip jutting out in a pout as you try to remember. Your eyes wander to the table beside the two of you in thought but Miguel’s eyes stay on you. He takes in the sight of your face morphed in contemplation. It’s the same look he’s seen countlessly through the late nights. Except this time, it’s not pixelated or blurry from his monitors. Now, he can see you up close. He can see clearly how your chin softly wrinkles as you purse your lips and the way your eyes crinkle at the outer corners. It’s almost comical how earnestly he takes in such ordinary features with the same scrupulousness as a lab experiment.

“Do you ever look out at the skyline… and feel at peace?” The words flow out of you softly as you move to sit on the patio table next to him. Your eyes glide up to look at the lights below that decorate the horizon.

Miguel finally tears his eyes from you to look at the skyline before you both. It’s hard to hear the vehicles from up here but he knows they’re there. He can see the lights flicker and wane in the distance as his body relaxes into the chair. He realizes how familiar he is with the scene and breathes out lowly, “Yes. I do.”

He can see you smile in his peripherals before your voice fills the space between you, “I’ve always found comfort in the horizon and the view of the land below. The sunrise and sunset. I think Raon would have been mesmerized by this view of the city lights.”

He turns to look at you curiously, “Raon?” Truthfully, he was a bit curious about the word you mentioned to Lyla earlier.

You nod with a hum, crossing your legs and propping your chin on your elbows as you get comfortable. “The baby creature from our mission. Raon.”

Miguel notices how the word our rattles around his brain but pushes that feeling aside. He attempts to overpower it with a wry remark, “Did you name the anomaly?”

You release a breathy chuckle and nod, “Kind of. There’s a story from my universe that had a baby dragon named Raon Miru in it. Looked exactly like him too, blue eyes and all.”

He finds relief now not just in observing you but in your close presence and words. He’s intrigued by what you say. He can’t quite place the origin of such a unique name. He knows Japanese but he’s unsure if that is its correct origin. He takes a moment to look at you in thought, certain that he wants to hear more, “That name, what does it mean?”

“It’s a bit on the nose, truthfully. It means ‘joyful dragon’.”

“Raon Miru.”, he repeats to himself as he turns back to look at the skyline with you. There’s a comfortable silence that swells between you both. It takes a few more moments before your voice slithers into the empty space.

“Do you truly not eat well?”

He turns to look at you again but immediately regrets it. Well, not really. Your eyes are full of concern as they meet his. He sighs and shakes his head, “No. I don’t.”

“Why?” You ask so simply as your eyes never leave him.

He bites the inside of his cheeks and contemplates whether he should brush this off and lie or just tell you the truth. He chooses the latter, citing that he genuinely enjoys your consideration. “I’m busy. I lose track of time and just forget.”

Lyla finally decides to pop up next to you, “Hey, y/s/n. You actually remember to eat stuff. Mind keeping Miguel in check for me?”

Miguel stiffens quickly shaking his head to protest but before he can, you respond. “Sure, I don’t see why not.”

“Cool.”, Lyla nods and disappears having completed her job as instigator.

His eyes travel to yours in question only for you to smile gently at him with a tilt of your head. “I need to make sure you’re properly taken care of.”

Need, you say. Not want. The way you say it so matter-of-factly makes his lungs quiver, just like that night. His mouth shuts as he slowly leans back in his chair. The way you look at him lets him know that there’s no room for debate. You nod with a smile as you watch him acquiesce your response. “Good. So, did you like the salteñas?”

He nods and speaks with a low hum, “Yes, they were good.”

You beam at that and lean toward him unconsciously, “Really? I was worried there for a second. By the way you heated up, I thought you had a bad reaction.” You straighten up as your features quickly morph in realization of something before speaking, “That reminds me. Lyla?”

“Yo.”, she appears in front of you like a pop-up ad.

“What’s the temperature in Miguel’s work area?”

She conjures up a thermostat and squints at it, “Yeesh, 85°F and climbing. At the time of reporting, it is approximately 20 degrees higher than average. Excessive heat appears to be emitting from a ground-level display console.”

“Oh, may you please-”

“Filtering and cooling as we speak, captain.”, her little hand bumping her forehead to salute you in assurance. “I’ve shut off the machine since it’s under minimal usage priority. Consider this a work order.”

You chuckle at her antics, “Thank you, dear. I’ll be sure to repair it asap. It also sounds like your active monitoring is on the fritz, I’ll check that too.” You then turn to Miguel, leaning in inquisitively to see if he’s cooled down enough.

He questions absentmindedly with an almost gravelly mumble, “Hablas español?” [Do you speak Spanish?]

You're taken aback but smile softly, “Sí, pero no lo hablo con fluidez.” [Yes, but I’m not fluent in it.]

He finds the corners of his mouth gently lifting at your words, “Me suenas fluido. Tu acento es natural.” [You sound fluent to me. Your accent is natural.]

Your smile seems to grow ever so gently as you nod, “Thank you. I grew up in a diverse place. Lots of people spoke languages other than English.”

Miguel found himself completely relaxed as he spoke with you about anything and everything. Like that, the conversation flowed between you for a long while.

All I really want is you

What would you do?

Your brows shoot up in shock before a small smile blooms on your face. “Good. Let’s meet out on the terrace at 3 am. You better not leave me hanging.”

He smirks at your warning in amusement, you said it in such a way that carries no real malice. He nods in understanding as you two walk side by side languidly, back to his work area. The conversation hasn’t stopped. Miguel thinks this is the longest he’s ever talked to someone, speaking more words in these last couple of hours with you than he has to anyone in months. It’s odd to him how easy it is to talk with you. It makes him feel like he’s conversing with an old friend.

He’s lost in content conversation with you as you two enter back into his lab and continues even after you begin to work. He leans against the main control panel on his platform as he watches you repair the display console that practically turned his work area into an oven. Miguel’s arms are crossed over his chest, somehow unsure of what to do with his hands. He speaks with a more calm tone, “So you’re the one who does repairs around here? You’d think I, of all people, would know that.”

“I actually did think you already knew that but I suppose me coming in here and working on your tech while you’re out during the day is a bit of a clue as to why you didn’t.” You calmly respond to him. Your voice is just a bit louder than normal in order to ensure he can hear you properly. After all, half of your body is inside a relatively large electronics console.

“So what’s the issue here then?”

"Just a basic issue. Overclocked GPUs and faulty heatsinks don't really mix well.", you sigh with a shrug after gently crawling out of the unit to drop some screws into a small tray beside you. You present a damaged PCB to him and point at a burnt section of it with the tip of your screwdriver, “See, a few of them have blown fuses.”

He’s tuned into what you say and nods in acknowledgment. He knows what you’re talking about and enjoys it because it’s not rushed and not frantic like during the day. It’s calm and comfortable.

"Although I told Pete to run manual diagnostics on this which he said he did. Liar." 

Miguel is amused by your annoyed grumble as you work. He’s a bit curious as to why you refer to Peter by nickname when you’ve only started calling him by his given name a couple hours ago but he figures it’s fine since Peter is the one who initially recruited you from what he can recall. 

Miguel leans a bit over to peek at the mess that is the internal hardware before you crawl back inside. "I'm going to guess that he didn't even look at this at all."

"Yeah, pretty safe to assume that. I should have known better than to ask him. He's been preoccupied lately.", you groan from inside the panel. You look a bit funny like this, with half your body inside the console.

“Why did you ask Peter to look at it then?”, Miguel asks a bit curiously.

“Um, my arm was still messed up, Sir. I couldn’t really pronate it without feeling uncomfortable.”

He hears how nonchalantly you say it and senses that you don’t want to bring up the injury again. He nods curtly to himself and continues while changing the subject, “Don't call me Sir. It makes me feel old.”

You smile softly to yourself as you respond, “Sorry, it’s a hard habit to shake. I mean, you are the boss. But you shouldn’t worry, you’re not old by a long shot. In fact, I’m your elder…”

Your last few words are muffled but he manages to pick them up. His brows raise in intrigue as he asks, “Is that so?”

The way you tense at what he says doesn’t slip past him but you soon answer in a calm voice, “My universe’s present year is several decades earlier than here. So despite being biologically younger than you, I am chronologically n/y years older than you.” [number of years]

Miguel turns to work on some reports as he says, “Well, you still look spry enough to handle the duties of a Spider.”

You nearly snort at his comment. You must have not expected it, judging by your reaction. You continue to work, your eyes focused on the components you inspect as you jest in a sardonic tone, “Thanks, jefe. I’m glad to know you think my body is still young enough to be thrown around on missions.”

He has to bite his lip to contain the chuckle that he feels vibrate in his chest. He didn’t expect you to respond so sarcastically but he’s glad that you did. If anything, it makes him want to continue talking with you, “So why haven’t I been formally notified of your work here?”

“Well, if something breaks or needs general maintenance, Lyla is informed and she then passes that information to me. She typically deals with software issues and I’m the hardware person. We don’t usually bother you with these things because you’re always so busy as it is.”, you offer with a shrug as you crawl out and sit on your heels, inspecting yet another PCB.

“It wouldn’t be a bother. I need to know about these things.”

You look up at him and chuckle quietly with a soft shake of your head, “There are reports on file of every single repair I’ve done but… the last thing you need to worry about is a coffee maker gone haywire or someone’s empty web cartridges.”

“Aren’t you busy too? You take missions yet you still pull the Society’s odd jobs. Why?”

“Not really. I’m active mostly at night or in the early morning hours. Even when there is an active mission, I’m D-team at best.”

“D-team? Why do you think that?”, Miguel is genuinely confused by what you say. After all, the two of you worked so well together during the missions you have been on with one another.

“I’m just not that capable when compared to the Spiders.”

There’s that phrasing of yours again. It paints a clear separation between you and the society. Why are you so unwilling to include yourself with them? What exactly makes you speak this way? Miguel then thinks back to your first mission together, when it was just the two of you. Although it felt foreign at first, you two completed it quickly and efficiently. He speaks in a tone that leaves no room for rebuttal, “You are very capable.”

“Yeah, you think so?”

“You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t.”

You sigh casually as you stand up, carrying a small tote against your hip of damaged hardware to be further inspected, “Well, I could just be pleasant to be around.”

He releases a breathy laugh at your arch remark with a shake of his head. If only you knew how important your presence has become to him over all these late nights.

You perked up at the sound as you placed the tote on a nearby desk, turning to him as you asked, “Did I just make you laugh?” 

He was about to groan in annoyance on instinct but caught the look in your eyes before he did. Your face didn’t show a single sign of ill intent. Rather, it carried what he identifies as wonder. His lips purse a bit as he looks away from you, trying to avoid your gaze to spare himself from how overactive he’s found his mind becomes when gazing upon your bare face.

“Oh, now you’re pouting.”

“Not pouting.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I am not.” 

Miguel’s brain stalls as his ears pick up a previously unknown yet gratifying sound. Gentle giggling slips from you and it makes that buzzing sensation in his ears return. But he's not upset because he knows you're not laughing at him. It’s that kind of laughter that isn’t rude nor teasing. It’s kind and full of joy. He can’t help the upturn of the corners of his mouth, finding your delight somewhat infectious.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just too cute.”, you wave your hand softly as your other hand attempts to muffle your chortling before grabbing the tote of hardware to repair again. You turn to leave to your usual lab to work but your joyful sounds have yet to cease.

Miguel’s frozen by your comment. Cute? In reference to him? That’s not… that’s implausible and honestly, unprecedented. The more he speaks with you, the more he learns just how strange you are. You’re different in not only appearance but behavior as well. He's sure now that you are unique to the Society in such an eccentric way. He realizes something and it’s arguable in his mind. It makes sense why you exclude yourself from them all. Out of all the Spiders, you’re the anomaly.

Laying in the rain with you

Middle of June

“Miguel O’Hara! Get your butt out here now!”

He groans and rolls his eyes with a smirk as he looks at the time. 3 am, on the dot. It’s time.

The two have grown very well acquainted with each other over the past 8 months. There was a stint of anomalies surfacing during the early overnight hours. For a while, it seemed you and Miguel were dispatched nearly every night but now the instances have slowed to every week or so. You’ve learned a lot about each other and have acclimated well to each other’s presence. His hands swipe away the monitors floating around him as he calls over his shoulder, “Yeah, yeah. Just a second, needy.”

“Needy?! Puh-lease, you would waste away without me.”, you chuckle as your body swings around the entrance to his work area. You cross your arms and lean against the doorway, “Ven a comer.” [Come eat.]

“Sí, Mami.”, he mumbles amusedly, stroking his chin as he stares at the monitors in front of him. [Yes, Mom.]

You chuckle and walk over to him, “Don’t make me drag you out of here.”

He closes the floating screens around him with a flick of his wrist before turning to you with a smirk. His hands rest on his hips as his platform descends to meet you. The soft fizzling in his ears returns as you look up at him with a small, playful smile. The sensation is no longer foreign to him. It’s welcomed now. Warm and comfortable. “Yeah, uh-huh. And how do you suppose you’d do that?”

Your grin is almost mischievous as he finally stands in front of you, “I’d figure it out. I’m very resourceful, you know?”

He nods and begins to walk with you to complete your late-night ritual. “Oh, are you now?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.” You repeat the words he told you from your first night together. At this point, it’s more of an inside joke; a reference that often appears as you two converse.

“I thought you said it was because you were pleasant to be around.”, he hums amusedly.

“Well? Am I?”, you look up at him through your lashes. Your eyes gleam with warmth and he’s not sure if you truly know just how beguiling it is.

He mutters as he avoids your gaze, knowing damn well he wants to say yes, “Don’t fish for compliments.”

“But you would compliment me.”, you state in a way that’s laced with playfulness. You bend a bit at the waist to catch a glimpse of his face with your hands resting neatly upon your lower back.

He meets your teasing gaze for a moment before rolling his eyes, “What’s for dinner?”

He sees your lips curl up in his peripherals before you state nonchalantly, “It’s a surprise.”

“A surprise? What do you mean? What for?”

“What? Don’t you trust me?”, you chuckle in amusement after he rambles a bit. You managed to identify that habit of his despite his general seriousness after the many nights you've spent working together.

“I trust you as far as I can throw you.”, he replies collectedly, or so he hopes.

“Liar.”, you hum with an amused smile on your lips, “Nonetheless, I suppose it’s good that you’re an incredibly strong man that can throw me very, very far.”

You chuckle again as he groans beside you. You’re far too sharp for your own good, having seen right through his strategic word choice. You two enter the terrace and something feels different. The air is a bit warmer tonight. Miguel supposes it’s just that kind of summer night. One where the heat from the day lingers into the late night and rekindles the following morning. His eyes shut for a moment as he absorbs the scent floating around. It’s familiar, it’s… enticing. He blinks softly before turning to you, eyebrows lifting in surprise as he sees that setup you’ve made. Upon the ground is a large blanket with a couple of small pillows. There are a few containers of what he knows is your cooking placed in the center. It’s not extravagant but something does stir in his stomach as he sees you turn to him. You almost look coy as you gesture behind you but your eyes never lack that warmth he knows as yours. “Yeah, it’s a bit silly but… happy 50th successful mission, partner.”

He stiffens at your calm yet happy proclamation. The word partner rattles around his brain for a few moments before the gears in his brain turn again. 50 missions? Have you two truly been on 50 missions already? Oh, who is he kidding? Of course, he knows that already. The two of you have actually been on 58 missions to be exact but they can’t always be successes.

You walk over to pull him gently by the wrist to the blanket, “Come on already. Food’s getting cold.”

He rolls his eyes with a smirk as he indulges your command with reluctance, but only externally.

You let go of his hand and sit at one end of the blanket, “Mira, I made some of your favorites.” You remove the lids of the containers presenting a small variety of his preferred dishes. There’s a smile on your lips as you pull out the final container, presenting it to him with a kind tone of voice, “I even made Stobhach for you. And I’ll let you know I’ve perfected my recipe.”

He can’t help the small curl of his lips as he sits opposite of you. You seem so excited to show him all that you prepared for tonight. It all almost makes him blush. He’s learned fairly early on in your acquaintanceship-turned-friendship that you show affection through care. Especially, by giving someone a home cooked meal. He stares down at the food and hums, “Thank you.”

You return with a hum of your own. Besides the banter and wry humor, words aren’t really necessary between the two of you. You’ve learned to read each other well. Body language, quirks, and even the noises that rumble from each of your chests. It’s almost animalistic in its simplicity. Miguel has come to realize how truly perceptive you can be, similar to himself. You two actually share a lot of similarities like your inquisitive nature and reclusive behavior. And he’s come to the conclusion that that is why you two can exist so harmoniously together. It’s not hard to be around you. To him, your presence is easy.

All I really want is you

What would you do?

You two have been talking for a while, the food long gone and your bellies satiated. There’s a bubble around you two as you converse like you’re in your own little world. 

“Come on. Lay with me.”, you look up at him with warmth in your eyes as you pat the space next to you. He truly can’t find it within himself to deny such a gentle command. He moves to lie next to you and stares up at the few stars that manage to make it through the city’s light pollution. It’s times like these when he ponders upon his actions and realizes how easily he finds himself following your instruction. He’s not upset about it. He just finds it odd although certainly not unwelcome. Truthfully, he’s grateful that he can take your lead and not have to be in charge, even if only for a moment. But these moments fill his chest with something warm. Warm and comfortable are his two choice words to describe you in any situation. Whether it be as you two work in silence in one of the labs or when you patch each other up after rough missions.

Sleeping outside, the moon

Tripping with you

He hears a sweet sigh from your lips as you relax on the blanket next to him. You whisper into the night air with the same gentleness one speaks a secret, “This reminds me of one night when I was a teen. In my universe…”

Miguel’s ears perked a bit as you began. It was very rare for you to speak of yourself, your experiences, or your universe. Every time you did, he was sure to pay attention and commit each word to memory because if you ever spoke of it like this, earnestly and unprompted, it meant you were revealing a part of who you are. That you were trusting him with a part of your very essence. To keep it safe.

“California isn’t gone. There’s a coastal city there called San Francisco that my friends and I traveled to. We spent hours there. We watched the sunset on the bay and the evening fog that rolled in. And eventually, we laid back on the sand and looked up at the stars. Just like this.”

He didn't say anything or make a noise. He just stared up at the stars with you, listening intently.

“I felt so calm that night. I knew in that moment that nothing else mattered. And for the first time, I felt at peace. My whole life I didn’t do much. I stayed at home filling my time with random knowledge and tricks. I avoided people and kept to myself as best as I could because I had learned very young that people were not to be trusted.”

Miguel feels his chest tighten at your words but keeps silent. There’s a darkness that barely laces your voice but it is there. He picks up the sound of hurt in your tone and it grips him tightly. There’s a tumultuous feeling in his stomach. He’s eager to preserve the pieces of yourself that you delicately hand him but it doesn’t change the feeling of helplessness that floods him. Your honesty is encased in sadness, a build-up of fears and insecurity that he’s far too late to have prevented. So he listens because maybe, just maybe, something you reveal to him in these genuine passages of your lore can help him protect the parts of you he keeps.

“I learned that family was everything because family would never hurt you. It’s funny now… Now, I think I’m nothing but a memory yet to be forgotten by them.”

He turns to look at you curiously but the concern is unmistakable in his eyes. Of all the countless nights you’ve spent together, you’re finally revealing why you are the way you are. Why he feels like he knows you without words. Because loss and loneliness radiates off you like bittersweet perfume yet you contain it with walls built of sufferance and capability. He’s always held a certain affinity to you that he could never quite describe until now. Before his thoughts submerge his consciousness, he notices how your eyes are screwed shut and the way your fist is squeezed tightly around the strings of your hoodie. Your clenched fingers resting above your heart almost as if you're quelling pain into passivity.

You sigh quietly as if to prepare yourself for what to say. “Things happen. At one point you think you know where you are. Then you blink and wake up somewhere else entirely.”

There’s a brief pause before your next words. Your eyes slowly flutter open to look up at the stars with glossy eyes and a gentle yet certain voice, “I’m here now and I’m actually very grateful for all that has happened. I’ve learned things I never thought were possible, about reality and the world. About people and about myself.”

He’s a bit surprised as you speak to him with sincerity, “I know I’m strange, Miguel. I know I don't make sense and that I don’t really fit. But you make me feel understood. And you make me feel like I’m not really alone… Thank you.”

You turn to find him staring at you in surprise. Your smile is small but your usual warmth has returned, and truthfully, he thinks that it never left. “Sorry. That was a bit heavy, huh? Just forget I said anything.” You offer with a chuckle before laying back.

All I really want is you

Your eyes are closed as you bask in the moonlight and his eyes travel over you. He takes in the soft curl of your lips and the faint flush on your cheeks from the cool air and candid words. The temperature isn’t too bad but thanks to the extreme altitude of the building, it’s crisp yet foggy. It’s an odd feeling, the air is damp from the clouds rolling through the skyscraper but Miguel feels warm. So soothingly warm. Especially, with you laying so close to him. So earnest and so true. He finds it odd how comforting this feeling is despite it being foreign to him, or rather dormant. He’s astonished by your trust in him. It fills him with something that he wasn’t entirely sure he was missing. Suddenly it's apparent what exactly this feeling is. The same feeling that he's felt for months. And it finally sparks in his mind as you look at him with tired eyes and a warm smile.

I love you. 

All I really want is you

What would you do?

He can nearly taste the words on his tongue but he remains silent as your eyes stare into his. Suddenly he feels very awake as his own thoughts dawn on him. Managing to tear his gaze away from your familiar e/c eyes, he finally speaks as he closes his eyes with a coy smirk.

“Never.”

It’s you. Now, it’s something that’s as certain as fact in his mind. He feels the heat of your hand resting on the blanket between the two of you, right next to his. Right where you belong, he thinks. Right next to him.

All I really want is you

Is you, is you, is you

Appearing near you two and out of sight is Lyla. She watches you two and makes a final checkmark on the chart she pulled from an article months ago, when Miguel was initially questioning his interest in you. She smiles to herself as she looks over the chart then back at you two as you exist in your own little world. The words softly illuminated in the window beside her, Infatuation vs. Love, with all her markings under the latter.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who took the time to read this! Also, big thanks to everyone who voted on my poll regarding this fic. I am open to your opinions and questions! Please feel free to ask me anything!

[litgarchive]

It's at least December 12 everywhere in the world. Now what?

An LITG Archive Update

To preface, the original seasons are still playable at the moment if your auto-update is turned off. (I can confirm; I can still play on my Android phone.) I've heard (but have not tried) it's possible to play using older mods as well. Overall, this is good news!

However, no one is sure how long this would be viable, given that you do still need to connect to the Internet to play them. And, how long would Fusebox allow that from their end?

Well, I'm not putting this project on hold. And the fact that the seasons are still playable? A good time to collect more records. (IIRC, I don't have a Season 3 playthrough with Seb as the best friend yet. Please hook your girl up with any link whatsoever.)

What I'm doing and what are the goalposts moving forward, all under the cut!

Originally, I was going to do Season 3 first (as you might have seen from the demo), but I did realize that we'd likely lose more content from Season 2, given it's the longest and has most extensive branching compared to the other two seasons.

So, what am I doing now?

I've mapped out all the choices for Season 2 Day 1 Part 1. I will start transcription. If there are any missing choices, I will create a separate post requesting assistance (like I did before).

Season 3 transcription of a recorded Harry route is being continued by lovely people on their free time. They are currently doing Day 4 Part 1.

Any particular timeline when you'll be able to release a playable Season 2 (or any other season)?

What I can say is it won't be up for a while unless there will be more volunteers helping me transcribe seasons using a particular formatting and process. This is the most time-consuming part.

For a general idea, it took me almost 6 hours to transcribe the part for the demo using 2 recorded playthroughs by @queen-of-boops and by @mrsbsmooth. I broke up the scenes and added in some code/notes as I transcribed. Then I had a few more hours tweaking the transcript into ink, breaking it up a bit more so it won't flood the screen as much UI-wise, installing the UI framework, and testing it.

Granted, since I have brushed up on ink and have done base stuff for the demo, it shouldn't take me too long to code the full game once I've done all the non-coding related tasks.

Why not release it in chapters?

Honestly because I'm not a programmer, I have massive technical debt, and I could do that, but honestly I'm not very comfortable with doing that unless I at least map out all the choices first. I want to avoid missing variables which may, in turn, break everything else.

You might be surprised with the scenes we're still discovering as we repeat the playthroughs. We've got aliens, Islanders checking Bobby's reaction to Rocco possibly stealing you away from him, Ciaran being turned on by a belch, and Kassam actually considering you as a dateable prospect despite not being interested in you in the first place, etc. Honestly wild.

So, now what?

I will be posting an update once a week until all three seasons are completed. I'll post recording requests when needed. (Thank you to everyone who has shared their records so far, I could kiss you all. It's so lovely seeing our community band together like this.)

We can only hope Fusebox publishes the remastered versions soon (if at all) so people (like me) can play their comfort routes or just play some of the best seasons they had put out into the world.

So, yeah.

Much love before it's December 13 from my side of the world.

💕 Pine

[plooto]

⋆·˚ ༘ * time apart ft. kuroo tetsurou

synopsis . you and kuroo have been at each others side for as long as you can remember, but as you grew up and get older, even the ring adorning both of your ring fingers couldn’t keep you guys together.

warnings . angst , established relationship , wife!reader , husband!kuroo , growing apart , not so bitter ending , timeskip!au

words . 612

notes . i desperately needed something to write, and i didn’t know where to start, but i have this now ! hope you guys enjoy it

you and kuroo have been at each others side for as long as you can remember, but as you greew up and get older, even the ring adorning both of your ring fingers couldn’t keep you guys together.

the two of you got married as soon as you left high school. while it might have been way too early in the eyes of your friends, it was the perfect time for the two of you.

you both were content. you went back to school and became a teacher while kuroo still followed volleyball, but in a different way.

life was good, you and kuroo both working jobs you both love, and most important, you had each other.

had.

although you supported kuroo and his passion, you still wanted him with you, and not even for long. just a date, a cuddle session even..his late shifts started off as a few days out of the week, days bled into weeks, and eventually weeks turning into months. at this point you were convinced you were living by yourself.

on this particular night, you were up late making lesson plans and grading some tests. the loud silence making it take you so much longer. you were up when he came home, you didn’t even notice, you were so deep in thought.

“ n’n ? i thought you would be asleep by now.. ” he gave you a kiss on the head and a rub on the shoulder.

“ huh ? oh hey tetsu, uh ” you were about to explain your work and how lovely the kids were today but something else came up, “ actually, could we talk? ”

“ that’s never a good phrase, what’s troubling you ? ” you stood to meet him in the kitchen,

“ i just- ” you sighed and hung your head, it’s now or never, “ i miss you is all.. ”

“ kitten i’m right here, i’m not understanding what you mean. ” you looked away and fiddled with the ring on your finger.

“ this, ” you held your left hand up, “ this is the only thing i have from you nowadays. every day, when i wake up and reach for you, you’re not there.. i ” you shutter as your throat starts to close, “ i want our life back, i want my husband back. ” you finish, finally looking up to meet the guilt filled eyes of your lover.

he looks up and around, anywhere but you. taking a breath he replies, “ i’m sorry, believe me i am. ” you shook your head and ran your hands down your face,

“ tetsurou we’ve been doing this for too long, i don’t want you making excuses on why you aren’t here or why your side of the bed is cold when i go to bed o- or when i wake up.. ” you tremble again, the heavy weight finally lifting off of you. you hold onto the counter and ease yourself down. making haste to your side, kuroo lifts your chin with his finger. your tear stained face making the words that came out of your mouth that much clearer.

“ i am so sorry, y’n. i’m sorry i’ve neglected you like this, i will do my absolute best, to make sure this ” he gestures between the two of you. “ does not happen again. i’m going to show you, that i can be a better husband to you. ”

“ thank you.. ” you said in a hushed tone, leaning forward to hug him around his neck. he lets out a sigh of content. little did he know, all this time apart from you was taking a toll on him as well.

you both stayed in that position for a while, just relishing the moment, the two of you.

husband and wife.

published . april 26, 23

[dangara2610]

(4/10) Teenager and Young adult Ulla - Part 11

Back after the last part I published

XD

Ulla arrives to home, Pitchfork with Donella

For reasons unknown , Pitchfork is declared a member of the 7 Kingdom alliance

Some people ask why, she knows about the Dark Kingdom destruction but keeps the secret remembering how much Quirin was serious about his national secrets.

Don tries to get her business done here until she realizes most people recognize her from her school days and she wants out.

Teacher Croix's son encounter her and they have a words battle, she is sure she is more intelligent than him, but feel unsatisfied.

Donella reinforces her desires, knowledge to get money, power and glory.

She wishes to lead the best underground armory supplies, manipulate governments into wars against each other, until she is the only capable governor left to control everything on the shadows.

Don convinces Ulla about try to resolve the 7 trials to get to the Eternal Library , Ulla agrees with enthusiasm.

Her parents Holda and Tenax give the blessing and they depart, next stop, Galcrest.

They discovered there is supposed to be an order, so, next stop, Bayangor.

The first trial is done, hooray ~, after too many tries.

It's going to be Christmas soon, so, even when Don thinks it's ridiculous, they go back to Pitchfork to spend the holidays at Ulla's parents home

Ulf also came, yeahhhs, twins reencounter ~ also he bought his fiance, they will marry next year, congrats bro, next year meant next month.

Holliday finishes and the whole family goes to Nesdernia together, preparations for the weeding, house building, also get prepared for having a baby, oh, Ulf asks for preparations for twin babies, awwww~.

Donella thinks is a waste of time, tries to find how to make her business here, but these people are pacifists, she keeps searching potential clients while helping Faber family.

All the family were making blue prints about the house but Ulf and his friends insisted this needed to be eco-friendly, so they take it as an intelectual test.

Donella got sick of waiting and asked Ulla to accompany her to the Demanitus trial here, but they discovered this was not the turn for this one, so, Donella felt stuck.

Ulf noticed how Don was angry during the day , so he invited her to have a local drink, then he as an especialist on family dynamics, asked her about her family, she deflected as much as possible.

But he insists, and adds his new habilites of divination to tell her where is her mother and father, advise her to go and visit them, try to reconciliate.

She is angry at this advise and nosy actitudes, so she left, then she talked with Ulla about how her family was pampering Ulf too much, he is feeling like the big thing just because he is getting married, and because he is the big white men among tanned people (unlike her back at Ingvarr , everyone discriminating her )

Ulla is surprised by this, and wants to know what exactly Ulf told her so she is this angry , she barely gives an answer and says she is going to leave soon and work somewhere else, Ulla doesn't want her to go.

Ulla and Ulf spare the lunch time to have a talk, she wants to know what he told Donella , he says as a therapist, he shouldnt reveal this personal kind of information to anyone, but well, Ulla is not anyone , is his very twin sister and twin soul.

He detected Donella was neglected, the border of abandonment, her mother ate few, saving the rest , she imitated and gave her savings to her mom, both got very thin, later when would discover she saved the food of her "payment" to give it to another men (who was not Donella father) in order to please him and have a romance , he aceptes the food and got a better health, but provided no romance.

Donellas mother kept doing this, unhealthily, Donella lost motivation to stay along her mother, she would have liked her to do something nice for her daughter, but it seems like there was no interest, no longer feeling hungry due to this new way for living, Don left, her food saved no longer for her mother , but to sell, few coins and she would pay the door man to let her go.

So she did, live on the borders of Ingvarr felt nice, there was no food, she felt no hunger, she had no dreams or motivations ,she would just walk around until getting tired and waking up to repeat, and she did it a few days before getting "adopted" by Ulla and Ulf parents.

The he saw she needed to go back and search for her mother to talk about the past, the neglect, and invite her out the mines, heal their relationship, but -

Oups I have to go, see you around 🪷🎁🪷🎀🍊🌷🌺🪻🧭🎀💎🥥☀️🔰🥭🫧🫧🌻🌸🌼🌸💐🌸🪷🌹🌷🌼🍁🍂🪴🍀❄️🌈🫧🌊🌤️⛅☀️💫🌙☄️🌠🌌

[yassificat1on]

TEEN MOM (wip)

summary: bullet point ideas of what would happen if tenko never got 'adopted' by afo, but rather, a teenaged girl

a/n: this is just a test to see how well this story idea will be recieved. if it's well recieved, i'll get to writing. if not, :*) also, i had this idea, wrote it out and published it in under 30 minutes which seems to be a theme on my page so i know its not 100% perfect. i can make this gender neutral if needed be. also, baby shig's face in that is soooo cute 💀he looks so shady

obviously set in the early 2000s so its gonna be filled with fun references like that

you just finished a day out with your friends

you all went shopping at the mall, you all got drinks and snacks, the whole nine yards

you start your walk back to the car, many many bags in and on your arms

you observed the people all around you, taking in your surroundings

you see a little kid with blue hair walking aimlessly 30 feet from your car

an old woman seemed to walk by him after having some weird interaction with him

you started shouting to the woman, telling her she forgot her grandson

she purposefully didnt respond

you opened the car door and threw your stuff back into the car and went back to the little boy

he looked up at you with a strange expression

his eyes had crusted blood and dirt around them, along with a large gash on his lips

"oh," you audibly gasped, feeling sorry for the boy.

you took him off to the side and took a napkin and a bottle of water from your purse to try and clean his face up

you asked him for his name, but he didnt answer. you asked where his mom and dad were but he didnt answer

you shouted out to the crowd to see who lost their kid, but no one payed any mind to either of you

you put the cap on the water, but you looked down to see him reaching for it

you opened it back up and handed it to him

you watched him place all 10 fingers on it, and the plastic disintigrated, leaving water to splash on the ground and his feet

you saw he had no shoes on, moreover, how dirty his little feet were

the sight and thought of it all almost brought you to tears

you made a split second decision. you picked him up, bridal style and took him to your car. putting him in the back seat

you drove around to buy him a pair of shoes, a pair of winter gloves on clearance, fruit snacks, chips, juice, fruit cups and a few outfits for the next few days

by the time you got home, he fell asleep in the back seat.

you had to sneak a whole kid into your room without alerting your parents, which wasnt easy

"what you got there, y/n?" the kid was burried under your prom dress, a few shopping bags and shoes

"oh! just my prom stuff! ill show you in a sec." you lied

you set him on the bed and went back out to grab his stuff

you woke him up to bathe and put him to sleep in a makeshift bed on the floor next to yours

but not before cutting up the gloves so he could touch stuff around your room without turning it to dust

you woke him up after you put everything away and fed him some dinner

yall go to sleep and he wakes up to crawl in next to you

navi/masterlist coming soon

[lostinfic]

Aflutter

Ten x Rose | 790 words | silly fluffy historical AU

I listened to a podcast about Georgian courtships and here we are.

The original Language of the Fan leaflet

*

1828

“I’m telling you, Jack, there’s this whole secret language every woman knows about,” the Doctor said, brandishing The Language of the Fan.

“Let me see that.” Jack plucked the leaflet from the Doctor’s hands and read out loud, “Touching tip with fingers means I wish to speak to you. Carrying in the right hand means you are too willing.” He scoffed. “You don’t need that.”

Easy for him to say, just walking down Main Street in his uniform girls and boys alike sighed dreamily, their longing gazes following him. The Doctor was good looking, if he said so himself, but paled in comparison to his American friend.

“Where are we going anyway?” the Doctor asked.

“Right here.”

Jack stopped in front of Lillington's, the modiste. He opened the door, gesturing for his friend to enter first.

“Here? Why?”

“I need to buy a gift for a special friend.”

As soon as they entered, the gazes of a dozen women turned to them and muted gossips filled the room. The Doctor blushed, but Jack perused the shop confidently. He stroked silk ribbons, fine cotton gloves and straw bonnets, before settling on a pair of mauve garters. He had Mr. Lillington wrap the present with indications to deliver at the provided address. Jack added a note: “Think of me, when this you see.”

“It’s as easy as that. Why don’t you pick something for Miss Tyler?”

“I wouldn’t presume…” the Doctor sputtered.

“No, you’d rather wait for her to place her fan by her left ear.” Jack rolled his eyes.

“No! That means ‘I wish to get rid of you’. Or does it mean ‘wait for me’?” He read through the leaflet again, walking behind Jack.

Of course, this whole fan language business was probably a load of rubbish. The leaflet was published by Duvellroy, a fan maker, with a vested interest in seeing the accessory rise in popularity again. But there was a dance tonight at Kelmscott Hall, and the Doctor was desperate to have an edge over other suitors, especially Miss Tyler’s suitors.

He’d treated her father after a carriage accident. She would come in the room while the Doctor bandaged Sir Tyler’s leg, inquiring about biology and medicine. Her curiosity and sparkling smile won him over. Unfortunately, he’d not had a chance to talk to her again since then. On every social occasion, her attention was monopolized by Messrs. Smith, Stone, Mitchell and many more. But if she were to carry her open fan in her left hand— or was it the right hand?—he would know she wanted him to come talk to her.

*

Kelmscott Hall brimmed with music and cheer. Under the rafters, a group of men and women danced a Scotch Reel, their energy fogged the windows.  The Doctor adjusted his cravat and brushed down his waistcoat.

As if he had a whole sixth sense devoted to her, the Doctor immediately spotted Rose in the crowd. A lovely bundle of petal-pink taffeta and dance-warm cheeks. The song ended, and she fanned herself, sending blond curls in a halo around her pretty face. She met his gaze across the crowd and smiled, wide and happy. She touched her fan to her chin— bloody hell, what did that mean? He pulled the leaflet from the inner pocket of his coat, unfolded it with sweaty hands.

“She’s smiling at you, just go,” Jack said.

He pushed him with two hands, propelling the Doctor to the middle of the dance floor, right in front of Rose.

“The Language of the Fan,” she read from the paper he was holding the wrong way.

“Ah, yes, you see, there are several excellent and important reasons why one must… one must…” He was too distracted by her tongue-touched smile to finish his sentence.

“Do you know there’s a whole flirtatious glove language too?”

Just his luck he’d learned the wrong one.

On the stage, the musicians picked up their instruments again. The violinist tested a few quick notes which promised a vigorous quadrille.

Rose touched her gloves to his hand.

“What does that mean?” he asked, enthralled by this indirect caress.

“It means: run!”

[deeg9]

CH.2: There's something that tells me (that life has changed)

Thank you everyone for the feedback on Chapter One! Chapter Two is up - I may add an epilogue set in the future in the next few days. Comments and engagement on AO3 is always appreciated - Enjoy!

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: F/M Fandom: The Rookie (TV 2018) Relationship: Tim Bradford/Lucy Chen, Nyla Harper/James Murray, Wesley Evers/Angela LopezCharacter:Tim Bradford, Lucy Chen (The Rookie), Nyla Harper, James Murray (The Rookie), Wesley Evers, Angela Lopez, Wade Grey, Celina JuarezAdditional Tags:Chenford Canon, anon request, Post 5x10 by 3 Months, Pregnancy Scare, see notes for TW, Drama & Comedy & Heartfelt Goodness, Secret Relationship, Medical Inaccuracies Language: English Published: 2023-01-07 Updated: 2023-01-08 Chapters: 2 Words: 6025

[If you missed Ch 1, it's posted on Tumblr and AO3]

LUCY

“I’ll go pick up another pack of tests,” Lucy offered as they stared down at the one test in question, but nobody tore their gaze away from the faint pink line on the test. 

“No, I’ll call my doctor,” Angela said, breaking the spell. “I know she’ll fit us in for a blood test. If we get this over by the lunch hour, then we might even have results by tonight.” 

Lucy continued to stare at the test while she absentmindedly followed Angela’s phone call. 

When she woke up that morning, it had been just another day. She and Tim took Kojo for an early run in which halfway through, Kojo plunged belly first into a muddy puddle and rolled around.  While Tim hosed him off in the backyard, Lucy made breakfast: Salmon for Kojo and an omelet for the two of them. 

She loved the pace they’d been taking their relationship. They had found their rhythm. Nothing felt forced and they organically began to spend more and more time together. 

Part of that meant spending time with Tim’s sister and her kids. Both Tim and Lucy had gotten involved in the boy’s baseball team earlier in the year and it had been more fun than she could have imagined. These days, Genny and Lucy didn’t need an excuse to hang out.

Tim pretended to be annoyed by the two of them colluding, especially when Genny told embarrassing stories from Tim’s past in painstakingly clear detail, but she knew he secretly loved the friendship they were developing. 

And on the flip side … Tim now (unwillingly) knew everything about Sabrina Carpenter after spending many nights and mornings at their apartment listening to Tamara prattle on about her favorite female artist. Tim would tease Tamara and ask if there was a friend she could call to discuss the latest Sabrina celebrity news with instead, to which she’d reply that she preferred the challenge of converting Tim to her way of thinking much more. Tamara even set a New Year’s Resolution of dragging Lucy and Tim to a Sabrina Carpenter concert, not having the slightest clue that they’d already purchased a set of VIP passes to an upcoming show for Tamara’s birthday. 

It all felt natural. It felt right. 

Would this fracture that feeling? 

“Thank you so much, Dr. Stone,” Angela gushed into the phone. “Yes, we will head over right now. See you soon.”

“Do you want to ride with us?” Nyla asked. 

“Yeah,” Lucy swallowed. “Let me just tell Tim I’m taking an early lunch and then I’ll meet you in the parking lot.” 

“Okay,” Angela nodded. “Be quick.”

Lucy should have anticipated that Tim would be waiting in the hall outside of the locker room. It wasn’t lost on him that Nyla and Angela rushed out from behind her and she was sure he noticed their flustered expressions. 

He waited until the other two women were out of earshot before bringing it up. 

“So?” Tim asked, drawing out the end of the word into a question. 

“The result was … inconclusive,” Lucy said. “I’m going to take an early lunch and pop over to the doctor’s office for a blood test. Can you manage for an hour without me?” 

“Of course,” Tim said. He looked around the room. “How is it inconclusive? Isn’t it just like an aim and pee thing with a yes or no answer?”

“Yes, usually,” Lucy whispered, “but something went wrong.”

“What went wrong?” Tim asked, confusion sewn into his expression. 

“I can’t go into the details right now,” Lucy said, blushing. It wasn’t like she could tell him what happened without revealing that Angela and Nyla were in the same boat and she wanted to respect their privacy. “Just trust me on this. If I don’t get the results by tonight, we can try taking another test at home after shift.”

“Okay,” Tim conceded. “Let me just get Grey to cover for me and I can come with you.”

“No, he’ll be too suspicious,” Lucy pointed out and Tim’s face dropped. “But I think after today we should make a plan to tell Grey and to tell our friends. It’s time.” 

“Alright, if you’re sure?” Tim prodded, his eyes full of concern. He could always tell when she was putting on a front.

“Yeah,” Lucy said with a soft smile. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

She stopped herself from reaching out to him. She really wanted to hug him, but she couldn’t. Not here, not when they were at work and near so many prying eyes. Not when she knew she’d break as soon as his arms slipped around her. 

She knew the honeymoon phase of their relationship wouldn’t last forever but to have it potentially shift so abruptly because of this new, incredibly big thing was too much for her to absorb. 

She loved Tim and his reaction in the shop earlier had made her love him even more. She wanted to start a family with him eventually but she’d give almost anything to be able to do it their way and on their timeline.

Angela spotted her as she walked through the parking lot and waved her over to the unmarked vehicle. Lucy took a steadying breath and tried to push away the sinking feeling in her gut. 

Angela 

As they were wrapping up at the doctor’s office, Angela got a call about a homicide scene that they were needed on. After they arrived, Lucy immediately jumped into the action to help Officer Jan set the perimeter and begin canvassing for witnesses while Nyla began to interview the person who’d called in the DB to 9-1-1. 

Tim gave Angela the official readout of the scene and she diligently took notes, but she couldn’t help checking her watch every few minutes. The doctor promised to put a rush on the bloodwork and said she’d call each of them with the results as soon as possible. 

Angela wanted to know those results so badly. She needed to know.

“Are you okay?” Tim asked after repeating the answer to a question she already asked. “You seem off.”

She sighed despondently.

“You can’t say anything to Wes until I know for sure,” she warned and he nodded apprehensively. “I might be pregnant again.”

Tim blinked. 

”For fuck’s sake, is there something in the water? ” He muttered it quietly under his breath and if she didn’t have freakishly good hearing, she would have missed it entirely. 

“What?” Angela whispered irritably. “Oh my god, did Lucy tell you?”

“What? No,” Tim stammered. “Unless … What did she tell you?”

“Timothy,” Angela warned, “what did Lucy say?”

“She told me she’s late,” Tim whispered defensively. “That’s it. I had no idea you were going through the same thing.”

“Oh.” Angela shook her head, surprised that Lucy would share something so sensitive with Tim. “Forget about that. We’ll circle back to me in a second.

She knew they were close, but Lucy had to know on some level that Tim had feelings for her. 

“I’m just so sorry, Tim,” Angela said with a sigh and gave his arm a light squeeze. “I didn’t even know Lucy was seeing someone.” 

Tim’s jaw hung open temporarily as she watched him find his words again. Poor guy. He must be reeling.

“I’m fine,” Tim said slowly. “Really, I am. You don’t need to worry about me. Are you ok with this? You were just telling me you were pretty sure Jackson was going to be an only child.”

“No, I’m not ok,” Angela admitted. “And I feel like a terrible person saying that out loud.”

Tim slung his arm over her shoulder. 

“How can I help?” 

“Just moral support,” Angela said. “And let me vent and complain if this test is positive about how hard my life is, even when it might seem unreasonable.”

“Of course,” Tim said. He gave her shoulder a quick squeeze and then let her go. “What are friends for?” 

“And Tim?” Angela turned so she was facing him. “I am sorry about Lucy. I really thought you two were heading in the same direction.”

She watched Tim’s expression change. She expected him to look sad, maybe a little lost, but instead she found a mixture of guilt and … something else on his face.

What was going on?

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. “I really should talk to Lucy before I tell you anything.” 

“Tell me what?” Angela’s pulse kicked up a beat. 

Tim glanced at Lucy in the distance and she saw it in his eyes. This wasn’t a man yearning, this man was adoring someone he already had. 

Oh my god, how had she missed the signs? 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Tim rushed to say as Angela’s eyes widened. “Lucy and I really just wanted to keep something for ourselves for a while and then I blinked and three months had gone by. Honestly, there were a number of times I was sure you’d already figured it out–”

“Oh my god,” Angela grabbed his arm and pulled him down to her level. He almost tripped over his own foot. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“If Lucy’s pregnant,” Tim whispered with a smile on his face, “that’s my kid.” 

Angela felt the shout of glee build in her chest before she could contain it. 

“Shhhh,” Tim looked around nervously. She could see several officers looking over at them from the corner of her eye. “You have to keep it a secret. We’re still figuring out the work side of things.” 

“I am going to hug the shit out of both of you later,” Angela said with the biggest smile on her face. Then she punched Tim in the arm. Hard. 

“Ow,” Tim said, rubbing the spot. 

“I have been feeling sorry for you ALL day. You could have told me,” Angela scolded. 

“I know,” Tim assured her. “And I trust you. We just wanted to make sure this thing was real first.”

“Is it?” She asked, even though she already knew the answer.

“Yeah,” Tim said with a deliriously happy smile. “As real as it gets.” 

Angela was gearing up to tell Tim how happy she was for him when Nyla walked up and narrowed her eyes at the two of them. 

“There is literally a dead body twenty feet from you,” she scolded. “Could you stop smiling so much? The other cops are starting to think you’re both sociopaths.” 

“Tim was just cheering me up,” Angela explained. “What do we have?” 

Angela worked to switch her brain back into work mode, but only managed to quell her excitement down to a half smile on her face as she walked the crime scene with Nyla. 

Her best friend was finally happy and she knew it was the forever-kind-of-happy. She had a second-hand happy high that she just couldn’t shake. 

NYLA

Nyla reached for her phone after the ding indicated she had a text message. They were getting close to wrapping up their day and had a few more solid leads to run down but it was nothing that couldn’t wait until morning. 

From: Lucy | To: Angela & Nyla  

Just got the call. Mine was negative! Phew! Good luck <;3 

Angela sighed audibly from across the desk. She saw her shoot off a reply and then did the same. Nyla’s pulse kicked up as she realized her chances were now fifty-fifty. 

When Angela’s phone rang next, their eyes met and Angela nodded before stepping away to answer. Around the same time, Tim and Lucy went into Grey’s office. It wasn’t something she would typically notice, but their body language was … strange. 

Grey hung his head in his hands for a moment before looking up at both of them with a huge smile on his face. He rounded his desk and hugged them both. Lucy hugged him back enthusiastically but Bradford looked stiff and awkward. 

Nyla smirked. 

It looked like ‘Chenford’ (as Smitty called them) was finally coming clean. 

“Nolan,” Grey opened his office door and called out. “Could you join us?” 

Nyla leaned back in her chair to enjoy the show. Moments later, Nolan’s jaw dropped in complete disbelief and Nyla chuckled in her seat. She wasn’t surprised that Nolan hadn’t suspected a thing. She’d noticed Lucy and Nolan slowly drift apart after Jackson’s death. Whether that was due to their respective lives getting busier, or a subconscious decision to distance themselves from painful memories, she wasn’t sure. 

Regardless, Nolan seemed genuinely happy for them. 

“Nyla,” Angela said from behind her. She spun around in her chair.

“What’s the word?” Nyla asked, trying to hide the hope in her voice. 

“My test was negative,” Angela said slowly. “Which means–”

Nyla’s heart pounded in her ears as her phone rang. She answered it right away. 

“I’m calling for Nyla Harper.” Nyla recognized Dr. Stone’s voice from earlier. 

“Hi, Dr. Stone,” Nyla said. “Thank you for rushing the test results. Lay it on me.”

“They were negative for pregnancy,” Dr. Stone cut to the chase. “But I did see something interesting in your bloodwork that makes me think you could have gotten the false positive on the take home test.”

“I didn’t know that was possible,” Nyla responded, letting the news wash over her. So she wouldn’t be a mom again. At least, not yet.

“It’s very rare, but sometimes a UTI can trigger a false positive. You do have minimal hCG levels present for detection but if you were pregnant, those levels would continue to climb throughout your first trimester and then level off,” Dr. Stone explained. “For at home test to be positive, the levels would have had to be much higher earlier today since those tests are far less sensitive than blood tests.”

“Okay,” Nyla said. “What does that mean for me?”

“I see an elevated white blood cell count in your CBC panel, which indicates an infection is probably present,” Dr. Stone said. “If you can come back in tomorrow or later this week, I can run a urinalysis to confirm it. Then we can send you home with antibiotics to treat it.” 

“Other than that, I’m fine?” Nyla asked. 

“Yes, as far as I can tell, you’re very healthy,” Dr. Stone confirmed. 

Nyla stayed on the phone long enough to schedule an appointment and then hung up. She jerked in her seat when she realized Angela was standing right behind her. 

“Jesus, wear a bell,” Nyla chided. 

“So you’re–”

“Not pregnant,” Nyla finished the sentence. “Doc says I might have triggered a false positive. I probably have a UTI and I’m going back tomorrow to confirm.”

“So none of us are pregnant?” Angela asked.

“Not a one,” Nyla confirmed.

“Then maybe we should all go grab celebratory drinks?” Angela suggested. 

“Rain check,” Nyla smiled politely, wishing she could match Angela’s level of relief. “I am wiped.” 

“Okay,” Angela said and gathered her things. “Have a good night. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“See ya.” 

Nyla sighed and let the disappointment sit with her for a minute. It’s not the right time , she told herself, and she could be okay with that. 

There was a silver lining to all of this. Now she knew how she really felt about adding to her family. She made her way home to James to see if he felt the same way. 

LUCY 

Lucy walked across the parking lot with Tim by her side, grinning from ear to ear about finally having their relationship out and in the open. 

“How are you feeling?” Tim nudged her softly with his elbow.  

“About telling Grey?” Lucy asked.

“That too,” Tim nodded, “but more so about the negative pregnancy test.”

“Honestly?” Lucy bit her lip nervously. “I’m relieved. You?” 

“Me too,” Tim said with a sigh. 

“Really?” Lucy prodded. “I know you’re ready to start a family but–” 

“Eventually,” Tim corrected her. “But right now? I’m so happy with exactly where we are.”

“Me too.” Lucy smiled up at him and grabbed his hand. 

“Wow,” Tim brought her hand to his lips and pressed a quick kiss to her knuckles. “I can’t believe we can actually do this now.”

“It’s almost like we’re a normal couple,” Lucy agreed with a laugh and swung his arm playfully as they walked. 

Once they at his truck, Tim twisted her in his arms. 

“What are you doing?” Her voice was husky as his face neared her own. 

“What normal couples do.” He slid his hand behind her neck and brushed his fingers into her hair before closing the distance between their lips. His kiss felt like a vow, holding the promise of all the amazing milestones yet to come. 

“I could get used to this,” Lucy mumbled against his lips.

“You better because I’m planning to keep doing it.” 

“Fine by me,” Lucy said with a smirk. “Because I’m planning on keeping you forever.”

“Forever, huh?” Tim smiled teasingly and leaned back a hair. “I’m going to need to check my schedule first.”

“Oh, do I need to call your gofer so he can pencil me into your calendar?” Lucy said with a snort. 

“That would be great,” Tim tossed back but she could see the corner of his lip creeping up. 

“Don’t make me hurt you,” she warned lightheartedly, swatting his chest. 

He captured her wrist swiftly and pulled her in close until her arm was wrapped around his neck. She rested her other palm on his chest, inhaling sharply in anticipation. 

“You know what I think?” He teased, the grumble of his voice vibrating against her wrist. 

“Hmm?” Lucy hummed, her gaze dropping from his eyes to his lips. 

“Forever is a really good place to start.” 

When his lips crashed down on hers this time, she felt giddy butterflies take flight in her belly. Their future played like a movie on the back of her eyelids but she blinked them away. The future could wait. She was focused on the here and now with the most important person in her life.

[sarah-in-disguise]

Open It

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Female Reader (Knives Out AU - no murder here!)

Warnings: swear words, shouting, multiple medical terms and phrases (PCOS, cancer, mass, fertility, pregnancy, etc.), angst, fluff, soft!Ransom (at least with the reader).  Flashbacks in italics.

Summary: Over the course of a few short hours, your life flipped upside down.  Plans for yourself.  Your future with Ransom.  All the pieces you’d used to build a foundation for your future, blown away in the breeze.  What does your future look like now?  And, most importantly, will Ransom be in it?

Word Count: 3032

A/N: This story is very personal for me, but I know a lot of you here on Tumblr can relate.  It was a very cathartic process to write it all down and get it all out.  While I have a great support system of family and friends to help me through this situation (read more about what’s going on here), I can’t help but daydream and wonder how one of my favorite CE characters would react.  I love soft!Ransom, so I hope this delivered!

Disclaimer: I do NOT consent to have my work posted, translated or published to any third-party site or app.  This is a work of fiction and I do not own any characters in this story.  By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.  Moodboard picture sources are Google and Canva.

Make sure to check out my masterlist!

Numb.

You didn’t know any other word to describe how you were feeling right now.  Over the course of a few short hours, your life flipped upside down.  Plans for yourself.  Your future with Ransom.  All the pieces you’d used to build a foundation for your future, blown away in the breeze.

A few months ago, your PCOS started acting up.  This wasn’t all that uncommon - most people with PCOS noticed different symptoms every few years as their hormone levels changed.  Originally, your symptoms had been more of an inconvenience than anything else.  Long, heavy periods, an occasional migraine, a bit more facial hair.  Everything was easy to fix with a birth control pill and a mild hormone replacement pill that you took twice a day.

When you started seeing Ransom two years ago, you didn’t even mention it to him at first.  Ransom’s reputation clearly preceded himself, and neither of you were looking for anything serious.  A year into your relationship, you forced him to at least sit down and discuss where this was headed.  After admitting to each other that you’d never been happier, you set aside a few days for a long weekend getaway to discuss things further.

Surprisingly, both of you were open to marriage and to the idea of kids someday.  You also agreed that neither of you were ready for those steps anytime soon - you were both relatively young, and he didn’t want to rush in and have this relationship turn out like his toxic parents or other family members.  The only piece you were adamant about was that you wanted to be married before having kids, and Ransom didn’t have any problems with that, either.

He’d even given you his pinky ring that weekend as a promise ring of sorts, telling you to keep it until he had something more permanent for you in the future.

You’d brought up your PCOS that weekend, and even after talking about how it might impact your fertility someday, Ransom assured you it wasn’t an issue.  In his words, “I’ve got money if we need to go down that road, sweet girl.  Don’t worry about it”

And you hadn’t, until a few hours ago.

When you went in for your yearly checkup with your OBGYN last month, you’d brought up a few new symptoms you had experienced.  Again, this wasn’t uncommon to have changing symptoms as you got older, so your doctor ordered a few tests to see what was up.  “Just a formality,” she explained.  “It will help us rule a few things out so we know what our next steps should be.”

Except this morning, you found out that the tests didn’t rule anything out.  Instead, they found the culprit - a softball-sized mass on one of your ovaries.

The good news was that it wasn’t likely cancerous, but they would biopsy it when it was removed just to make sure.

The bad news was…more complicated.

“Since you have history on both sides of your family of endometrial and ovarian cancer, plus you have history in your family of getting cancer at an early age, I strongly recommend you get a full hysterectomy in the next two to three years.”

Your mind was swimming with information and everything was coming at you so fast, but the only response suitable for this situation was simple.

“What?”

With a look of sympathy, your doctor continued.  “I know we’d discussed how your PCOS would work with your future plans for having kids in five or six years, but based on how fast this mass came up, I’m strongly suggesting we move that plan up if we can.  There’s just too much risk waiting around a few extra years when they will likely lead to another mass and a high risk for cancer.”

“Oh.”  Looking down at your hands, you nervously start fiddling with Ransom’s pinky ring.  It was a nervous habit of yours - one Ransom learned soon after he gave you that ring.  Unfortunately, Ransom wasn’t there to notice.

Sitting on your bed, you were still twisting that ring around your finger.  Ransom would be home soon, and you still didn’t have any idea how you were going to tell him.  Sure, he knew you were going into the doctor, but you were both expecting this to be a minor appointment.  An adjustment to a medication.  Maybe even a few more tests to narrow results down.

Not a softball-sized mass and a hysterectomy in two or three years, effectively cutting your timeline for marriage and kids in half.

While you should be worrying about your health, you were more concerned with how Ransom would react.  What if he wasn’t ready for this timeline?  Would he want to take kids off the table?  If he was stuck on the timeline and didn’t want to give up kids, how did you fit in that future?

After all this, do you even fit at all?

When you left your doctor’s office, those thoughts were a mere whisper.  You knew Ransom, and you were just starting to convince yourself that there was nothing to worry about.

That is until you ran into Linda on the way out to your car.

Exiting the medical plaza, you sit down on a bench outside the front entrance, close your eyes, and take a deep breath.  You want to call Ransom, but you know he is in a meeting with a potential new author he and Harlan wanted to bring into Blood Like Wine.  He’d drop the meeting for you in a heartbeat, but after a few more deep breaths, you convince yourself you can wait until he gets home.

Fate, however, wanted to throw you one last curveball.

Standing up, you start walking to your car.  As you dig in your purse for your keys, you accidentally bump into someone, causing your appointment notes and surgery details to scatter on the ground.

“Excuse me!  Do you not have eyes?  Do you know who I am?”  You knew that disgusted voice anywhere.

Linda.

Before you even think about collecting the paper scattered around you, you muster up a small smile and look up at Ransom’s mother.

“I’m so sorry, Linda.  I wasn’t paying attention and I was looking for my keys.”

“Oh, it’s you.”  As you start collecting your paperwork, Linda continues.  “You look like shit.”

Huffing out a laugh, you continue stuffing papers into your folder.  Ransom’s parents, especially Linda, made it very clear from the beginning that they didn’t approve of you.  Unlike the endless line of women Linda paraded in front of her only son, you didn’t have a wealthy, well-known family to fall back on.

What you did have was your education, a stable job, and parents who actually loved you - but that didn’t matter to Richard and Linda.

Just then, a breeze came and caused your last piece of paper to take flight.  Before it could get too far, Linda used her designer shoe to stomp it to the ground.  As you were reaching for it, the paper was snatched up in Linda’s eager hands.

“What even has you so preoccupied that you can’t -”

At Linda’s abrupt stop, your face pales.  Your mind scrambles as you stand up.  Trying to figure out what piece of paper she managed to snatch up, all thoughts stop as she starts laughing.

Your heart sinks as you confirm your fears, spotting your appointment summary sheet in her hands.

After a few seconds, her laughter dies down.  Throwing the paper in your direction, you catch it as she leaves her parting words.

“Ransom was so blind before, but he won’t be able to ignore this.  The only reason he’s kept you around is to warm his bed and pop out a few kids when the time comes.  Now that you can’t even do that, maybe he’ll see you for what you really are.  Worthless.”

Worthless.

That’s the word your mind was playing on repeat as you sat on your bed, spinning that ring round and round.

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t hear the front door slam shut or Ransom’s loud footsteps as they climbed the stairs to your shared bedroom.  In fact, you didn’t register anything until your own bedroom door was thrown open, colliding with the wall behind it.  Ransom quickly started to pace the room, mumbling incoherent thoughts under his breath.  From previous experience, you knew it was best to let him pace and blow off some steam - but you had too much swimming around in your head to remember that today.

“Ran, are you OK?”

Stopping dead in his tracks, he spins to look at you before shouting, “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I’M OK TO YOU?!”

The next events were ones you’d seen early on in your relationship, long before you knew it was best to let him pace and calm himself down.  If you let him do that, he’d eventually come to you in an hour or so to calmly discuss his frustrations.  If you didn’t let him do that, he often screamed and shouted at whoever was closest and would listen.

Today, that person was you.

“There we were, Harlan and I, meeting with this new author.  Everything was going well until Walt walked in and fucked everything up.  We almost had the contract finalized before that shithead waltzed in and started bitching about terms of the deal he didn’t even have any fucking say over.  Can you believe it?”

On a normal day, you knew whatever Ransom mumbled under his breath wasn’t directed at you.

Unfortunately, today wasn’t normal.

“What a worthless piece of shit.”

A small gasp leaves your mouth as you look up at Ransom.  There’s that word again.  Worthless.  Using the little strength you have left, you look at him and whisper, “what?”

Huffing, he turns to look at you before yelling, “I said, WHAT A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!”

Faster than your mind can think, your legs carry you to the bathroom.  Slamming and locking the door behind you, you collapse to the hard tile as the first sob rips from your chest.  

Slowly, Ransom recovers from the initial shock of your reaction and rushes to the bathroom door.  Jiggling the handle, he swears under his breath.

“Kitten?  I’m sorry for yelling, sweet girl.  Can you open up the door for me?”  You can’t even hear him over your sobs.

Over the next few minutes, your crying dies down and you finally hear Ransom apologizing and asking you to open the door.  Standing up, you scoff at your tear-stained face and puffy eyes in the mirror, but it’s too late to do anything about that now.  Slowly, you walk over to the door and open it up, meeting a very concerned Ransom.

Instantly, you’re wrapped in his strong arms, causing the tears to start again.  When he starts pressing kisses to your hair, you wrap your own arms around his abdomen and hang on for dear life.  Eventually, he picks you up bridal style and sits down on the bed, settling you on his lap.  After a few more minutes holding each other in silence, he clears his throat and tips your eyes up to meet his.

“I’m so sorry, kitten.  There’s no excuse for blowing up at you like that.  You don’t deserve to be treated like that by anyone, let alone me.”

Sensing his regret, you start apologizing as well.  “It’s OK, Ransom.  You have every right to be frustrated, and I’m usually better about reading the situation and knowing when to leave you alone to calm down.  I should’ve just walked away when you came in.  It’s just,” sighing, you look down at your hands and start spinning Ransom's ring.  “I’ve got too many other things to think about today.”

After a few seconds, Ransom places one large hand over yours to stop your spinning.  Using his other hand to tilt your head up to look into his eyes, he responds.

“Stop apologizing, sweet girl.  You did nothing wrong.  Now,” lifting your hand up, he places a kiss on his ring.  “You’ve been spinning this ring since I got home.  What’s wrong?”

Looking down at your linked hands, you answer.  “Did you remember that I had my follow up appointment with my OBGYN today?”

“Yeah, you mentioned that this morning.  What did your doctor say?”

You take a deep breath and let it out and take a moment to study his perfectly blue eyes before you continue.  “They found a mass on one of my ovaries.”

Ransom, for once in his life, is speechless.

Taking his silence as an opportunity to continue, you push on.  “It’s about the size of a softball, and they’re going to have to surgically remove it and the ovary in a few weeks.  They don’t think it’s cancer, but they’ll do a biopsy after surgery to make sure.”

Breathing out a sigh of relief, Ransom smiles and kisses you on your forehead.  “Hey, we can get through this, kitten.  Surgery isn’t great, but at least the outcome looks good, right?”

Tears start brimming your eyes again and you force yourself to look away from his excited features.  Once again, his hands stop yours from twirling his ring.  This time, he doesn’t immediately make you look up at him.

“What else is it?”

A few tears roll down your cheeks, but Ransom turns your face towards his to cup your cheeks and wipe them away.  “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it.”  Pressing his lips to yours for a quick kiss, he pulls back.  “I promise.”

Bracing for the worst and hoping for the best, you start the harder half of the conversation.

“Do you remember that trip we took last year when we talked about the future?  Like if we were open to marriage, kids, stuff like that?”

“Of course, I do.”  It was Ransom’s turn to start fiddling with the ring on your finger.  “That’s the trip that I gave you my ring.”

For a brief moment, you catch yourself smiling at the memory.  Unfortunately, just as quick as the smile came, it fades away.

“What I’m about to tell you is going to throw a wrench in those plans, Ransom, and I want you to know that I understand if this is a dealbreaker for you.  If things are moving too fast and you want someone else who fits the plan we agreed on, I’ll completely understand…”

“KITTEN!”  You flinch at Ransom’s sudden outburst, but he’s quick to apologize.  “Sorry, but you’ve got to tell me what’s going on.  This talking in circles isn’t helping anyone.”

Welp, you think.  Here goes nothing.

“Since I have a history of endometrial and ovarian cancer on both sides of my family, my doctor is strongly recommending I get a hysterectomy in the next few years.”

You’re met with silence as Ransom processes through this new information.

“How many years is a few years?”

“Two, maybe three.  I don’t think you know this, but I’ve had two female cousins and one aunt get cancer before they turned 30.  Because of that, she’s concerned I’ll get cancer at a young age, too.  I can’t get ovarian or endometrial cancer if I don’t have those parts inside me anymore, so the sooner I get rid of them, the better.  Ultimately, if I want a chance at carrying my own biological children, I need to start trying now.”

Immediately and without any explanation, Ransom dumps you off his lap, gets off the bed, and walks directly into his closet.  You jump when you hear a drawer slam, but before you can fully react, Ransom’s back at the bed.  Pulling you to sit on the edge, he drops down on one knee in front of you.

Tears fill your eyes as he shows you the ring box in his hand.

“You’ve had to do a lot of talking today, sweet girl, so it’s only fair I get to talk for a while, OK?”

Nodding your head up and down, he smiles.

“Even though we decided on that trip last year we were going to wait and take our time before getting engaged, I knew you were the one.  The day after we got back, I contacted our jeweler so we had plenty of time to design the perfect engagement ring.  After sending in some pictures of your jewelry and giving some input of my own, we came up with this.”  Lifting the closed box up a few inches, he continued.

“The minute I saw it, I immediately knew this ring was meant for this finger.”  Picking up your hand, he placed a light kiss on your left ring finger.  “I knew right then and there I was ready to marry you.  Hell, I’ve almost proposed twice in the last few months, but I knew we had a plan - and I know you well enough by now that once you make a plan, you stick to it.  But you know what I think?”

“What?”

With a smug grin, he responds.  “I think this is the universe’s way of telling our plan to fuck off.”

For the first time all day, you release a full blown laugh - and the smile on Ransom’s face couldn’t get any bigger.

“We can get married today, we can get married next month, or we could wait ten years.  No matter when it happens, I know for a fact that I’ll always choose you.  So, we can throw our plans out the window or I can put this box away and save it for a few years down the road.  Either way, I’ll always end up with you, sweet girl.  So, what do you say?  Am I opening this or not?”

Without thinking, you pull Ransom’s face to yours and devour his lips with an eager kiss.  Tangling your hands in his hair to pull him closer, he wraps his arms around your waist to draw you in.  Your body buzzes from the passion and lack of air, and soon you’re forced to break apart to breathe.

It isn’t a hard decision, so why wait?

“Open it.”

[xcertifiedgifsx]

hi! sorry for bothering you but do you mind sharing the tutorial for google pages, if possible? thank you!

You’re not bothering me at all! 

Below you’ll find a step by step tutorial on how to create a gif page on sites.google.com and at the bottom you’ll find the original link to create the main page of it.

I do want to shout out to @tessgifs for her step by step tutorial on her discord page because I never would have been able to provide this one without her helping me by creating hers. 

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out on anon or off!

It starts with going to https://sites.google.com/

1. Click the blank one with the plus sign under the words start a new site.

2. It’s going to take you to this page right here below and on the right side there are three sections. Insert, Pages and Themes. You’re going to click Pages. 

3. Under the section pages there is a circle with a plus sign in the middle all the way at the button of the page, all you need to do is hover your mouse over it. 

4. As soon as you hover over the plus sign, click on the one that says full page embed.

5. Name your full page embed like so and click done

6. This page will show up and you want to click add embed

7. This little pop up will come up and you want to go under embed code. 

8. What you can do is just copy and paste from your tumblr page like so and click insert 

9. Here is what your page should look like 

10. Before we click the publish button in the right hand corner we want to go under the pages section. You’ll see the name of your page and 3 circles. Click those three circles. 

11. Click hide from navigation so it won’t show up as a table on your main google page

12. Now we’re going to click publish this page right here will pop up your first time posting a page because you want to name your gif page but click publish

13. After publishing there is a little chain link on the top of the page, you want to click that 

14. Copy link and paste into a new tab to come up with this 

15. 

https://sites.google.com/view/xrandomgifsx/danny-pino-mayans-mc-4

^^^ 

This is what the finishing product look like... you just keep going through the whole process until you upload all your gif pages. I know for a fact that at least 800-900 gifs will load on a page with those who have low internet speed (I have a few friends I tested this with). Any changes you make to a page title will in fact make it crash and you will have to make sure you publish all changes you make.

Here is the original sites.google tutorial!

https://pendraegonn.tumblr.com/post/684624170955472896/reasons-to-use-google-sites-its-free-and

[writingwithinwriting]

How to Learn not to be Writing.

I haven’t had much to say recently when it comes to writing. I haven’t been writing at all. Or, I have been trying not to write. I have the time to be qriting now that my manuscript is all tidied up and ready to submit, and I have plenty of ideas which I have been jotting down. But I am trying not to write.

I’ve had a few people comment on the fact that, as writers go, I’m a hard worker. Fellow poets have told me they have seen my output during Napowrimo in the past and wondered how I managed it. Others have asked how I manage to come to a new poetry night with a selection of new material every time. 

This is a wild thing to hear when you have had it pummelled into you through school reports and parent’s evening visits that Pascal would be so successful if only they put in more effort... I still remember being a short little kid and looking into these kindly ladies faces who would look down at me with all the expectation in the world. Which, in turn, was very jarring to hear when I was struggling to do basic things like tell the time, tie my shoes, climb stairs and bathe myself.

As a kid, I felt exhausted all the time. Not in the same way I do now, I felt emotionally exhausted. I was drained by the constant bullying at school, I was getting heart palpitations and stomach cramps from the anxiety of constant testing from middle school to senior school and through to a-levels. 

I started to have panic attacks in my teens that would soon last hours and hours. My phobia was spiralling into obsession and terror. I attempted on my life twice. And I was convinced this was normal. Therefore, I had to carry on at the same speed everyone else was managing to keep up.

I am paying for that now. ME/CFS has forced me to stop taking everything at a break neck pace. And yet writing is the one thing I haven’t slowed down on. I do write a lot. Its not all good, you don’t see it all and certainly quantity isn’t quality, but at least I have that on my side.

I don’t have any impostor syndrome. I believe I’m a good writer, I’m not exceptional, but I have two things on my side which I think have given the illusion that I am somehow always writing all the time. I write to relax and I do not care how good or bad my writing is when I am at it.

These are both, in fact, big fat lies. And I have known this in the back of my heads for years. 

I do care very much how well I write and that’s why I write so often. It feels like the memory of all those beaming teachers praising me for the one thing I exceeded at is engrained in my brain. If I stop writing, I stop having purpose, I stop being useful.

Writing is often something I do to keep myself awake. This isn’t a problem most people have; most people do not need to find activities that balance needing tiny amounst of physical energy with high mental stimulation. If I don’t have both, I go slightly berserk. If my fatigue is too high, I struggle to form basic sentences and look after myself. If I get too bored, I get anxious, I get angry, I get depressed. It is a tight rope walk where I have to keep running or else I will fall into a bottomless pit.

That is a not a healthy way to go about any kind of work. Especially when I have a life outside of writing. I have a family I need to look after during a difficult period and a body that needs feeding, washing and excercising. 

I have poured everything in the last year into my manuscript. Because my ‘everything’ is so small and insignficant next to the forty hour work weeks I see my family and friends a part of, it didn’t feel meaningful. Right after Good Listeners was published, I gave myself a month or two of a break and began shaping the manuscript I have just finished.

I had spent the previous two years shaping Good Listeners. And the previous five years grinding through the most challenging and transformative part of my life. I remember working so hard on my dissertation in the final days, when I went to hand it in, the staff in charge of the printers insisted I sit down and get some water because I looked so pale. 

Someone thought I was high. I felt high. I felt so adrift, I was walking around like a zombie. Someone said I was speaking in whispers. I showed up to the hand in with flowers in my hair because I was so giddy from lack of sleep. I had so little sleep my eyes would start darting around if I relaxed, I would fall asleep on the floor folding towels or unconciously try to sit down in the shower and sleep.

Afterwards I moved back into my parents house and began working until my fatigue slowed me to a crawl. And all I could do to be useful was cook, clean and write whenever I could.

Before that was a-levels. Before that was school. I do not remember a time in my life when I have not been chasing a deadline or creating my own to feel a sense of purpose. I don’t think I can do this any more. 

Not because I don’t want to continually get better and better and better, I adore writing. It is a beautiful thing to find the way you can make yourself whole in this world. I write down every strange dream, weird film idea, every game I want to make one day.

I am writing this down to make it real. To make sure I know the only way I know how to accept what is better for me. I said I would try and finish two manuscripts this year, I finished one and now I am fighting to get up each morning to take my medication. I think it is best if I just step away from deadlines altogether until the new year. 

This is what we call in the writer world a really shitty situation. I hate this, I hate knowing I need to do this. I know every time I have taken a break from performing or publishing I have been left behind by opportunities and valuable experiences. But if I keep I trying to out run my exhaustion, I won’t grow, exceed or expand on what I can do.

This means that some projects are going to go into hibernation, like the nonfiction manuscript and most likely Hundreds & Thousands podcast. I have to re-learn that writing isn’t all typing and scribbling as you’re chained to a desk as people peer over you waiting for shakespeare to happen. I have books to read, workshops to attend, writers to talk to and so much more.

I recently read a Vietnamese epic called the Song of Kieu. Its stunning, heart wrending and world rearranging. And it did very little to further my own writing. But now I have that book in my world. It has grown my purpose to love and perservere and listen to the demon on the road.

I might be posting more on this blog, to get things out of my brain. Or I might not. I will be cooking, cleaning and helping my family. I’ll be taking naps and medication. I will still be here.

[neshabeingchildish]

Henry’s Boyfriend

Nothing major, just my first published piece in testing the waters of the Zenryverse. As friends know, I write almost exclusively HD content for Charlotte and I am not a Suite Life person, but I do feel like I comprehend Zack as far as Nikki has interpreted him, so I hope I do both of them justice in this little tidbit that I whipped up. @zenryverse

The last time that Charlotte had agreed to bunk with a stranger for convenience purposes, she absolutely lived to regret it. Jasper’s ex girlfriend when he was still… doing that whole, finding himself thing and dating girls. The girl had tried to kill her, despite being pretty tight with Jasper. Sure, this was absolutely different, but Charlotte felt a little bit triggered every time Zack smiled and asked her if she needed anything. She would wait for the moment that he’d pull out a weapon and charged at her. It was ridiculous. She knew that, but that was what her mind decided to do to her with the anxiety of living in a new place with a stranger.

“Henry’s boyfriend,” was basically how she even knew this guy. Henry. “Master of being a good judge of character,” she thought sarcastically as she watched Zack cooking in their shared apartment, while she sat at the little table that was only big enough for the two of them, because that was all that they currently needed. He smiled at her from the other room - actually - there was only a threshold separating the kitchen from the “dining area,” which was a little corner of a room that she used for studying. Zack generally ate on the couch… the futon. 

She forced a smile back at him and looked at her computer again. Charlotte had been accepted into Harvard and she had a full ride, but, there was some type of discrepancy in the dormitory applications and she wound up not having a place to stay by the beginning of the semester. A disaster, but something that she was quickly able to work around… Henry’s boyfriend offered her some space in his place. It was small, but he had an extra room that he could clear out for her and put a few things in storage. He generally used the room for his music creation and hobbies, but some of it could fit in his bedroom and he could rent out a storage space for the things he didn’t use as frequently. 

She hated to put him out that way, but she had to have something very quickly, as the semester wasn’t going to wait for her to find an affordable place close enough to school, but she promised him that she’d be out of his hair as soon as fiscally possible. “No worries! Hen says you’ve literally saved his life more than a few times. You’re welcome wherever I’m at.” Right. 

But, staying under the same roof with someone that she only knew through Henry, MILES away from the person that they knew each other through and for her, away from everything that she knew at all. She didn’t think she would get homesick, but being in close quarters with somebody that she didn’t know how to really interact with was more challenging than she’d figured it would be. The weather was very different, she didn’t know which eateries were the good ones yet. She had signed up for way too many classes to get her core curriculum out of the way, and she didn’t have any friends… after years of practically living with all of her friends. They were all doing their own things and their schedules were different enough that she couldn’t even schedule screen time with anybody but Schwoz, and half the time, he was running around after his new team of heroes. 

The most conversation outside of classes she had were that Mika kid contacting her for advice, and these strained interactions with Henry’s boyfriend. He set a plate down next to the computer and she smiled up at him politely. He did keep her fed, so that was a plus. “There’s a farmer’s market I like to hit up, if you want to come with me this weekend,” he said, sitting across from her. 

“Uhh…” she pulled up a holographic schedule and shook her head, “No can do, but thanks for the offer.” Zack’s eyes were studying the schedule with a smile in them. She nervously put it away and his eyes landed on her. She shrugged and said, “I use the tech from… you know… I made the schedule interactive, too.” “Hen talks about how smart you are all the time. I mean, I knew, but it’s always kinda cool to see things for yourself… hey… you think that could work with sheet music?” 

“Definitely,” she said. “I’m not that great at writing music, but I could make a program that made the holograph capable of recording the writing of music.”

He leaned back and folded his arms, smiling, “What you said was ‘not that great at writing music,” what I heard is that you write music?” 

She laughed, “I mean, I can hardly call it that. I did learn to play a guitar fairly easily.” She huffed, just thinking about it, “Ray made me and Jasper learn instruments so that we could be his band. The idea was that we’d be on the scene of places to play his soundtrack during battles…” 

Zack laughed and shook his head. “That’s… not a terrible idea.”

“It’s very narcissistic though.”

“I’ve heard he’s full of that. I relate… slightly.” He glanced at her untouched plate and that was her cue. Charlotte pushed her laptop aside. Dinner smelled delicious. She tried a little and saw as he lit up when he watched the obvious satisfaction on her face. “Is it okay?” He asked, knowing the answer.

“So, so good!” She commented, before forking herself another mouthful. “Thanks, for cooking dinner.” She managed, between chews.

“You were going pretty heavy on those instant noodle thingies. Figured you could use an actual meal, since you’ve got like daily classes. Why do you have daily classes?” 

She held a finger up as she finished chewing, then admitted, “I thought because I was coming right out of school, full days scheduled, that I could go right back in all the same… and I can, but… I didn’t prepare for some of the extras.”

“Like eating?” he asked, incredulously. She shrugged. “How is that an extra?” 

She chuckled, then thought for a moment, before pulling her schedule back up, hovering above the table, “When are you going to the farmer’s market?” 

“Saturday, around 1.”

“Lock in schedule,” she said and Zack watched the lights of the time switch around as she gave other commands to make room for the visit. “There. I can go.” He held out his fist towards her and she shook her head, “I’m sorry I don’t fist bump while eating.”

“Fair enough.” 

She returned to her studying while she ate. Zack eventually took their dishes away to wash as she stayed there for the rest of the night, ignoring her reminder to go to bed until everything else in the apartment was silent and she knew that if Zack had already gone to sleep, she was surely up far too late for her own good. Whenever she collected her things to duck into her room, she heard him talking softly and held her ear close to his bedroom door.

“Of course, I’m taking good care of her. I don’t know if she’s really taking the best care of herself though…” 

She left him to his privacy. Probably talking to Henry. She checked her phone. Henry had tried to call her a few times within the past couple of hours. She suspected that he must’ve had some free time and presumed she’d be winding down or something. She glanced at Zack’s door and knocked twice, “Goodnight, Zack,” she called. 

“Oh, there she is!” she heard him say. “She just told me goodnight. I could give her the phone… okay… nevermind then.” And after Henry must’ve said a little more, Zack called back, “Night!” 

Henry had warned him not to get in her way if she was sleepy or hungry. He knew she wasn’t hungry, but if she was sleepy, he didn’t want friction. Henry knew her best, after all. He heard her bedroom door open and shut and talked a little longer to Henry before nodding off to sleep on the phone. 

Charlotte noticed after getting out of the shower that Henry had texted her his warnings to Zack with a wink emoji, prayer hands and a heart, with the note: Last thing I need is you murdering my man.

She rolled her eyes and simply texted back: Goodnight, Idiot. He could hear the smile in her voice when he read it. He was glad two of his favorite people were in the same place when he couldn’t be with either of them, but dang. He missed them. Figuring things out without Charlotte around for a change had been one of the biggest challenges of his life. He wondered sometimes if things were just as hard for her, but she was Charlotte, so.. Not likely. 

Charlotte laid in bed, playing some lo fi music from her phone trying to sleep. She wondered if Henry was having as hard of a time as she was… Nah. He still had Swellview. She picked up her phone to tell him that she missed him, but decided against it. He still had Swellview and he had Zack, and he had a new situation to settle into without her. “I miss you, Henry,” she said to herself and set her phone back down, willing herself to try to get some sleep while she still had a little time. 

[imightbeabuddhist]

Salutations Tumblr.

Welcome to My Blog:

By Z.D. Burkitt

The question on your mind has to be, but who are you? Well, let me answer your question with a question. Did I forget the "by" line? No, I'm really asking. Anyway.

I'm Z.D. Burkit. Z for short. I've been a hobbyist writer for 25 years. Now, I'm a Copywriter. Can you tell? -covers my username with my hand- So, I figured I'd introduce myself. As I said, I've been writing for 25 years. However, I haven't published anything other than crappy fanfiction on fanfiction.net. Assuming that website still exists. Like a blacksmith at their* forge, I've learned much about writing, honing my craft(we'll get there.* <--pun). As the name suggests, I'll mostly be posting Copywriting Memes. Sometimes it'll just be the meme. Other times I might share why I like it and any insights I gleaned from it. I'll also post regular blogs and the occasional short story. Now it's time to address the elephant in the refrigerator.

Darn that Pesky Pachyderm:

I am Non-binary. No, I won't bring this up unless I need to. Nor do I care what pronouns you use. They, he, she, or neo-pronouns are all fine. I'll leave that up to you. I should also say I am Pansexual and engaged. As I get more comfortable, I'll give more details. One final thing, I have ADHD. Since this is my first post, I think I'll leave the housekeeping there. This seems like a good time to get the elephant out of my now-destroyed fridge. -sigh- 

Some more Things about Me:

I'm fascinated by fungi. I guess you can call me an amateur mycologist. Mushrooms, lichens, and all fungi are mesmerizing. I'm working on a story about super-powered teens living in 2100. The Golden Trio in my novel are LGBTQIA+ and Neurodiverse characters. River, the MC, is a Genderfluid Pansexual shapeshifter. One of their best friends is an AMAB non-binary gay person. The other is a cis-gendered bisexual guy. I promise River is not a self-insert. You'll come to know that as I add more to this blog. I am a big-ol' nerd. As evidenced by my near-comprehensive knowledge of the Camp Half-Blood Chronicles. Feel free to test me. I'm also well-versed in Destiny and Gear of War lore. Despite not owning any, I have a growing appreciation for excellent watches. They're just cool. Although I'm no car expert, that's what we call an understatement, kids; I do enjoy rewatching episodes of The Grand Tour. While we're on shows, I'm constantly binging Start Trek DS9. It's my comfort show. I aspire to one day get a Private Pilot's license. And yet, I've never flown. I've never even seen the inside of a plane that was about to take off—just a few at an aviation museum. While we're on the topic, one of my favorite podcasts is Black Box Down; it's all about aviation disasters. Listen to it if you're afraid to fly like I was. You'll realize just how rare these things are. Not only that, but the steps taken to prevent them from happening again. Not a spon. I have no sponsorships. I'm an anime fan, shocking, I know. And I'm clearly a fan of italics. And, like David Tannat's Doctor, I can ramble when I get going, can't I? Here are a couple of rapid-fire facts about me.

I practice lockpicking as a hobby - Scrolling through TikTok, I came across a guy called McNallyOffical, who made it look like a lot of fun. So, I bought a cheap lockpicking kit of off; I'll call it the Everything Store and a cheap (read Master Lock) lock. As soon as it arrived, I stared with the clear practice lock, and once I stopped pretending I was in Skyrim, I got it on my second try. Now that little clink sound of the shackle popping is just uggh. -chief's kiss-

I'm 420-friendly - That one speaks for itself. 

I'm an ex-Atheist - I'll admit this is partially due to the anger I felt when I had to deal with any religious or spiritual things that wasn't good for my mental health. So I took a step back from the community and soon found I wasn't angry more often than not. I still respect and listen to many Atheists like Penn Jillette and his business partner, Mr. Teller. Jillette's book God No! is still a personal favorite. The anger made me decide to believe in all gods or none. I have an answer to the ontological question do you believe in god? I believe in every god. I'll delve into that later.

I do believe Science - Despite believing in spiritual things, I am an avid proponent and communicator of Science. No Flearth or anti-vax nonsese here. One spiritual practice I reject is holistic crap and other snake oil. Crystals are pretty, but they can't heal shit IRL. 

This one should be obvious - I'm someone you can come to if you're LGBTQIA+ and you need to talk. 

I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD - I'm very open and vocal about my, and mental health in general. It's important, and you are too. Never forget that.

I think that's an excellent place to stop. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. Take care. 

-Z

The Convival Copywriter

P.S.

If you're interested in an INTRODUCTORY OFFER for my services, email me at zdburkitt@gmail.com. 

-The Convival Copywriter

[lukesavageblog]

Using The Internet To Make A Few Bucks

Keep cautiously optimistic when you understand distinct organizations and techniques that work well. Make use of your time nicely. There are numerous techniques to generate money online that need little concentration. Specifically basic activities on internet sites, including Mechanized Turk. Look at focusing on them although in front of the television. You're not intending to make a lot of money with these items, but it will help you to earn a bit when you're bored stiff. Give website name flipping a go. There are many that can generate a full time income by merely turning domain names. It's like making an investment in real estate property. Receive the most up-to-date styles in keywords and phrases by using Google Google adsense and other web sites. Get domain names that don't have acronyms. Discover website names that will probably repay. Earning money online can be hard in the event you don't know what you will be undertaking. Just start with network among your productive friends. Make sociable relationships within your market to discover your mentor, then test your suggestions in opposition to their understanding. Keep the brain open, keep a willingness to discover, and you could generate income online in the near future. Have distinct channels of income. It is far better to experience a few types of income allowing you to have possibilities and don't get burned out doing the same old issue constantly. What is well-liked can change with new modern technology. It's finest to possess a assortment of cash flow streams. Once you do that, you simply will not should be anxious if a person strategy has a momentary free of moisture up. Publish a guide and e-submit it. This is a wonderful technique to inform everybody what you know about a definite subject to make a few bucks off from it along the way. Creating a formula e-book is a wonderful way to begin. To generate earnings online, think about internet affiliate marketing. That begins with making a website that receives reasonable targeted traffic. Give factor to the sorts of styles and topics which you appreciate writing about. Try to find sites with affiliate marketing payouts and find out when they enables you to posao 4 sata dnevno become a member of. As soon as your visitors buy something, you get a cut of each and every purchase. Operating a blog is a great way to make cash online. You may enjoy running a blog as being a activity, why not test it to make money? This can be accomplished by advertising. Then if your followers click the advertising or banner ad, that company will pay that you simply dividend. You may make money on-line doing everything you do in the real world. Do you get pleasure from studying books? Produce a blog site about books you may have read and weblink the guides to Amazon . com with your affiliate weblink. Is crocheting your thing? Make baby booties to promote on the Internet! This information has shown you that one could generate profits online. If you would like this to achieve success, then you just need to be mindful in regards to what you're getting yourself linked to. This will help to become the effective particular person you want to be. Use every idea cautiously.