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mariacallous · 8 months ago

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Gaza’s recently confirmed polio outbreak is a barometer of the catastrophic public health conditions created by the Israeli military—but what many Israelis don’t realize is that the systematic assault by the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) on health care and public health infrastructure in Gaza has now come back to haunt them.

It has placed hundreds of thousands of Israelis at risk of contracting an ancient virus that strikes suddenly, paralyzing limbs and even sometimes lungs. It is so contagious that each afflicted person means several hundred others are simultaneously and invisibly spreading this incurable disease.

Although polio has been eradicated in most developed nations, Israel has particular reason to be concerned about the disease. The country has at least 175,000 vulnerable children—the offspring of the ultra-Orthodox, or haredim, who are notorious for their opposition to vaccinations.

Because the haredim comprise 17 percent of Israel’s Jews and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu needs their support to remain in power, his government has exempted hundreds of thousands of haredim from Israel’s immunization program against polio as well as measles, mumps, rubella, pertussis and HPV, influenza, and COVID-19—despite the threat to domestic and global health from these vaccine-preventable diseases.

That decision, coupled with his stubborn refusal to negotiate a permanent cease-fire in Gaza, has now put Israel’s unvaccinated at risk of contracting polio.

Thursday’s announcement that Israel will allow limited combat pauses in Gaza for vaccination at designated sites is insufficient to prevent ongoing spread of the deadly virus because parents will be required to bring their children to those sites while combat elsewhere in Gaza rages; most parents simply won’t risk it. That fighting also makes impossible the kind of active outreach by healthcare workers among Gaza’s displaced population needed to obtain the near-universal vaccination required to stop the outbreak.

Shortly after polio was detected in Gaza’s sewers, the Israeli government began offering vaccinations to troops returning from Gaza. These optional shots protect soldiers from contracting polio but not from taking it back to Israel, effectively turning them into dangerous vectors of this incredibly contagious disease.

Most Israelis have largely tuned out the suffering of Palestinians caused by Israeli bombs, but the potential for the spread of a deadly disease to their own children could finally get their attention.

The risk of another polio outbreak in Israel also provides a strong incentive for Netanyahu to agree to regular prolonged humanitarian pauses to allow systematic mass vaccination to proceed in Gaza, where efforts have lapsed during the war. That could also lay the groundwork for a lasting cease-fire.

More than 10 months of Israeli bombardment has destroyed Gaza’s water sources and sanitation systems and forced almost 2 million people from their homes into crowded camps. The humanitarian blockade imposed by Israeli authorities has withheld essential nutrition, critical medicines, and lifesaving public health technology. Meanwhile, in more than 1,000 attacks on health care facilities, equipment, and staff, the Israeli military has killed or detained more than 800 medical personnel.

To Palestinians, the international community’s laser-like focus on polio after a single unimmunized infant was partially paralyzed may seem perverse. After all, Palestinian children are far more likely to be crippled by Israeli bombs than paralyzed by a virus not seen in Gaza since 1985. Although it is no longer the world’s most feared disease, polio still cripples hundreds of children every year and suffocates some to death. It now threatens Israeli children, too. And if polio is what it takes to humanize the horrors facing civilians in Gaza, the international community must seize the opportunity.

In July, analysis of environmental samples in Gaza detected type 2 vaccine-derived poliovirus (cVDPV2), suggesting months of circulation and similarities with a strain found in sewers in Egypt, the country from which most aid trucks for Gaza arrive. A slightly different strain found in Jerusalem’s sewers was linked to outbreaks in 2022 and 2023.

A vaccine-derived poliovirus comes from the weakened live poliovirus contained in oral vaccines. In a fully vaccinated population it is not a threat, but if this weakened form of the virus has the opportunity to circulate among those lacking herd immunity or those compromised by prolonged starvation and disease, it can mutate into a form of poliovirus that causes illness and paralysis.

Despite a degraded public health system, lack of safe drinking water, and constant cross-border movement, Gaza’s health authorities protected the population for decades by maintaining very high vaccination rates. They used intramuscular polio vaccines to protect individuals, in addition to oral polio vaccines, which create protection against transmission, to protect the whole population. The associated herd immunity protected Gaza’s immunosuppressed and partially immunized infants.

War typically disrupts routine immunization services, regardless of the location. But in Gaza, polio immunization rates have dropped dramatically, from 99 percent in 2022 to about 86 percent by mid-2024—below the level required for herd immunity.

The way that Israel has waged the current war has exacerbated the situation. Chlorine is the only reliable way to disinfect contaminated water—as polio is relatively resistant to heat and acid. Yet since Oct. 7, Israeli troops have withheld chlorine from Gaza and destroyed all wastewater treatment plants.

Since May, nearly 800,000 people have been displaced to Khan Younis and Deir al-Balah, where samples were collected on June 23. The squalid living conditions, lack of safe water, starvation, and attacks targeting health care facilities make routine vaccination impossible. This is the ideal environment for the oral vaccine to mutate into vaccine-derived polio and emerge as a virulent stealth virus. Movement makes contact tracing challenging and turbocharges transmission of the virus.

Without a rapid test for polio, detection depends on clinical diagnosis. Fewer than 1 percent of polio cases result in paralysis, and most symptoms—fever, fatigue, headache, and vomiting—are common to hundreds of illnesses. As a clinician familiar with polio and war zones, I know firsthand how hard polio is to diagnose.

Laboratory confirmation relies on collecting two stool samples within two days of infection from kids who cannot always defecate when doctors ask. Gaza’s physicians are experts in war trauma, but few of them have ever seen polio.

In these circumstances, a mass vaccination campaign with oral polio vaccines is vital to stop the spread. The World Health Organization (WHO) has promised 1.6 million vaccine doses, and some have arrived , but that is only the beginning. Aid organizations must now organize the vaccination campaign while war rages.

To remain viable, vaccines must be stored at between 2 and 8 degrees Celsius, yet because Israel withholds fuel for refrigeration, the WHO has to deliver cold-chain equipment. Summer heat, persistent insecurity, and Israel’s ongoing obstruction of aid compound the challenges.

The most successful polio campaigns rely on multiple door-to-door visits, but since more than 80 percent of Gaza’s buildings have been destroyed, parents will have to bring children to fixed posts; the ongoing threat of bombing and general insecurity make it hard to achieve high coverage in such circumstances, despite Israel’s agreement to limited combat pauses in certain areas.

As if to underscore the point, Israel’s vow to allow limited pauses for vaccination came a day after the World Food Program suspended its own food delivery because one of its vehicles was fired upon a few meters from an Israeli army checkpoint.

Prolonged humanitarian pauses permitting multiple vaccination campaigns could curtail and control this dreaded virus in Gaza and, by extension, for over 100,000 of Israel’s unvaccinated and under-vaccinated citizens.

Israel, like all countries, cares about polio and other contagious threats.After Israel’s 1988 outbreak, the government copied Gaza’s immunization program: High uptake among the non-haredi population successfully eliminated wild polio.

For the next 33 years, the Israeli government protected its unvaccinated population through well-developed public health services and regular surveillance. But for the fast-growing unvaccinated ultra-Orthodox population, highly concentrated chlorinated water is no longer enough. In February 2022, an outbreak in an ultra-Orthodox district of Jerusalem crippled an unvaccinated 3-year-old girl. In 2022, polio reported from dozens of samples in Jerusalem sewers was linked to the May 2022 outbreak in New York and another in northern Israel in February 2023.

Because the only way to protect the unvaccinated ultra-Orthodox in Israel is to control polio in Gaza—and because Netanyahu depends on ultra-Orthodox parties’ support to stay in power—the Israeli government now has an incentive to agree to the prolonged humanitarian pauses needed for a successful vaccination campaign. Such calls may be especially attractive to Israel’s ultra-Orthodox community, who are hardly members of Israel’s peace camp.

The determination of public health organizations to end one of the world’s most dreaded diseases and a diplomatic effort to enforce prolonged pauses for polio vaccinations could help change the narrative in Gaza from indifference and devastation to one of solidarity and hope in the face of a deadly disease.

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sjsmith56 · 10 months ago

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The Gilded Age, Part 4 - Downpour

Summary: After sharing the complete truth of John Walker’s accusations, Amelia re-commits herself to the relationship. They prepare for her father’s visit for dinner, only to face his own inquires about the matter. After a short time apart while the Avengers are on a mission, the couple reunite and explore a more physical relationship.

Length: 6.7 K

Characters: Barnes, Amelia, Mr. Winston, the Avengers.

Warnings: Minors DNI, contains mild sexual content and a frank discussion of sexuality (both discussed in period-appropriate terms), description of animal abuse, threat of harm to Amelia.

Author notes: I did some research on female sexuality around the year 1900 and was amused to find that the medical field perceived several disorders as a consequence of “female hysteria” which was often followed by the prescription of a manual pelvic massage (provided by the doctor), meant to cause a “hysterical paroxysm” - namely an orgasm, to cure anything from nervousness, depression, fatigue and anxiety. To help provide this relief an enterprising doctor invented the first vibrator in 1899 (due to a repetitive stress injury in his hands). Strangely enough, the hysterical paroxysm wasn’t seen as sexual. Of course, women knew different and sales of the widely advertised device put them in fifth place as the most commonly purchased home appliance. Sergeant Barnes, being the man we all imagine him to be, knew it to be something he wanted Amelia to enjoy, so his plan was to take his time in “educating” her as to what men and women like when they’re alone, in bed, in their boudoir. I now return you to your regular programming. Divider by vecteezy.com.

<<Part 3

Part 4 - Downpour

It started to rain shortly before Mr. Winston was scheduled to arrive. The chill from the change in the weather meant that the fireplaces were lit in the grand room as well as the dining room on the 21st floor. As the Avengers arrived, they all commented on the cool temperatures, hoping that it wouldn’t put a dampener on the occasion. When a bell rang in the butler’s pantry, audible in the quiet of the grand room, they all knew it signalled Mr. Winston’s arrival, as Mr. Hogan would be escorting him up the elevator. Amelia waited patiently near the entrance into the room, Sergeant Barnes at her side.

Everyone was dressed for dinner in evening clothes, adding a layer of elegant formality to the mood in the room. Amelia, wearing a pale cream coloured dress, with lace overlay, that bared her shoulders, wrung her hands a little, anxious for this first meeting between Sergeant Barnes and her father. As she glanced at him, he smiled, seeming to display a calm demeanour that belied the actual figurative butterflies he was feeling. Still, he looked very handsome and confident in his evening suit of black, with a muted pewter coloured brocade vest and softly patterned silk tie. A white rose in his lapel, an item worn by all the gentlemen, added a touch of style to his ensemble. He had trimmed his beard down a bit, hoping to make the age difference between himself and Amelia less noticeable. It helped that Anthony Stark had patented an electric razor that allowed the trim to be done evenly.

The sound of the elevator doors opening was followed by the appearance of Mr. Winston. Seeing his daughter, he smiled broadly and opened his arms to embrace her.

“Father,” she murmured as she hugged him back. “How I’ve missed you.”

“I have missed you, Amy,” he said back, then he stepped back to look closer at her. “You’ve changed in the last two months. I’m not sure what it is but it definitely agrees with you. Now, introduce me to your colleagues.”

“Of course,” she said, grasping his hand and pulling him over towards Barnes. “This is Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the United States Cavalry, on secondment to SHIELD and the Avengers.”

Barnes offered his bare right hand to Mr. Winston. “Sir, it is a pleasure to meet you,” he said warmly. “Your daughter has spoken of you often.”

“All good, I hope,” replied the older man. “You and I need to talk, Sergeant, but it can wait until after dinner. Too bad it is raining as I would have liked a cigar outside after the meal.”

“I do have a smoking room for the gentlemen,” said Mr. Stark, coming forward with his wife to shake hands. “Anthony Stark and this is my wife, Virginia. It is a pleasure, Mr. Winston. Your daughter is a wonderful young woman who has made her mark in our Society. We would be quite lost without her.”

“I’m glad to hear it. She has worked hard for everything she accomplished. I’m very proud of her.”

The others came forward, to be introduced in turn. He seemed to be a genial man, with an open and friendly manner. Mrs. Stark led everyone back to the great room, explaining its features. Her husband offered to provide drinks to everyone, whiskey mostly for the men, and wine for the women. They sipped quietly for a moment then Mr. Winston placed his crystal glass down.

“I wonder if I could speak with Sergeant Barnes in private. There is a matter I wish to discuss with him that I realize now cannot wait.”

“Father? What is it about?”

He smiled sadly at his daughter, then sighed.

“A report of an alarming nature. The person who shared it with me was of the opinion that you are incapable of being in charge of your own life. That distressed me, as I have raised you to be an independent thinker.”

She glanced at Barnes. “Was it John Walker?”

“Yes. You know how I feel about the man. That is why I wish to discuss it with Sergeant Barnes and get his side of what is obviously a dispute between the two gentlemen.”

“Sir, there is nothing that John Walker said that isn’t already known by the others gathered here,” interjected Barnes. “I waive my right to privacy and ask that you repeat what was said to you.”

“Very well. He related how he was strolling in Central Park today and spied you both in a position that could be construed as indecent. Right away, that raised my hackles, as I know my daughter well. She is affectionate, yes, but indecent? That was a thinly veiled insult to her. Then he related that the gentleman she was with, Sergeant Barnes, was implicated in the slaughter of several women and children during the range wars of Wyoming. Walker insisted that he did all that he could to provide justice to those victims but that the verdict that freed you was bought and paid for.”

With a sound of disgust, Barnes stood up and faced the window, looking out into the wet night. Several times, he clenched and unclenched his fists at the villainy of John Walker to promote the lie that had plagued him since the verdict that freed him. A soft, cool hand grasped his and he turned, smiling down at Amelia.

“Tell him everything,” she said. “He has his own reasons to distrust the word of John Walker, but he should hear your story from your own lips.”

With a nod, he returned to his chair and related the details of his capture, torture, and medical experimentation during that time. Captain Rogers bolstered the account with his part in it. Anthony Stark related his father’s thoughts on the court-martial, describing it as an attempt to draw Sergeant Barnes back into the clutches of HYDRA, believing it to be an effort to finish their transformation of the man into a biological automaton.

“Why? Why would any rational person want to do that to another person?” Mr. Winston’s distress was evident.

Stark and Rogers looked guardedly at each other then decided to share something that only the Avengers knew.

“My father and Colonel Fury have both dedicated their lives to the defence of this country,” began Stark. “Both of them were West Point graduates in the same class. As they rose higher in the ranks, they heard rumours of a secret division within the army, referred to as HYDRA. It was a shadowy group, that seemed to shift and change their tactics like the wind changes direction. What was certain was that they were intent on effecting a coup d’état at some point, starting with the elimination of the Commander in Chief. A biological automaton would be the perfect weapon for such a crime as it could infiltrate the line of security then perform the deed without hesitation.

“The President? You’re sure?” Winston was shocked, as was Amelia.

“Very sure and President Cleveland trusted their assessment of HYDRA’s goals. It was President Cleveland, Colonel Fury and my father who decided to form SHIELD. Publicly, we perform daring missions of rescue and promote them to keep the public from knowing our true mission; to uncover those individuals who are behind HYDRA and stop them by any means necessary. When the court-martial of Sergeant Barnes revealed the extent of their efforts, the President did what he could to make sure our man here was treated properly, which he wasn’t. That’s how far HYDRA had already infiltrated the military system of justice. But he did insist that Fury and my father were on the tribunal, knowing that only a unanimous verdict could render him guilty.”

“So, it wasn’t bought and paid for,” stated Winston, frowning. He looked closely at Barnes. “You’re not a rich man, are you.”

“I am wealthier now, but my father was a sergeant in the army during the Civil War, then worked in the Brooklyn shipyards,” he replied. “We were working class comfortable, but not able to produce the funds necessary to buy a verdict. After the verdict was passed, I was free to return to my unit but was in no condition to do so. I related my care at the hands of Dr. Banner, and a position was offered to him to join SHIELD. I was seconded to the Society so that he could help me heal completely in a safe and secure environment. Mr. Stark was able to fix my metal arm, so it is functional. Captain Rogers returned to the unit briefly but saw changes already evident in several new faces that were loyal to Lieutenant Walker. He reported his suspicions to Colonel Fury, who was successful in requesting the unit be split into two, with those loyal to us stationed here in New York and the others to duty on the western frontier. General Pierce changed those orders, bringing them to Washington to serve under him. We suspect he is the leader of HYDRA, but so far, he has managed to hide any evidence of it.”

Mr. Winston seemed troubled. “General Alexander Pierce? That is the name of the man who I am to meet here in New York. He wishes me to represent him, as he plans to build a factory on the outskirts of Chicago. Why would a general need to build a factory?”

“Why indeed?” Stark looked troubled at this revelation, then was distracted by the appearance of Mr. Jarvis who announced that dinner was ready. “Mr. Winston, perhaps you and I should have that private talk after dinner. I need to know everything about your correspondence with Pierce and will make sure your revelations are kept secret, although I will relate them to Secretary of State Fury and my father. We need to find out what HYDRA is up to.”

They all rose then Winston stopped and regarded his daughter. “You know why I never considered John Walker as an acceptable suitor, don’t you?”

“I recall you calling him pompous,” she smiled.

“My exact words were that he was a pompous ass,” he smiled back. “My apologies to the ladies present. That is what I said publicly. Privately, I formed a definite opinion when he stated his belief that the man should be the singular authority of the household, his decisions final and unquestionable. He compared a good wife to a well broken horse, just fearful enough not to trigger his judgement, but meek enough to perform all her wifely duties without complaint. In his eyes, you were too headstrong for your own good, but he laid the blame on you, for not being a dutiful daughter. He assumed I was ashamed of you, not realizing I promoted those aspects of you that were just as strong in your mother, aspects that I loved dearly. My beliefs were bolstered when I saw him the following day, beating a downed horse on the street, declaring it to be lazy and stubborn. I was never going to allow him to treat you in that manner. When he showed up late this afternoon at my hotel to regale me with what he saw as proof of your impropriety I was almost tempted to throw him out the door.” He took Amelia’s hand and kissed it then placed it in Sergeant Barnes’ hand. “I approve of your courtship of my daughter and if the day comes when you are ready to ask for her hand in marriage you have my approval already. Just in this short time, I can see you are a man of conviction and honour. You would never try to change those parts of my dearest daughter to satisfy your pride.”

“No sir, I would not.” Barnes kissed her hand also. “She is already perfect, and it is up to me to be worthy of her love, not the other way around.”

“Then we have an understanding between us, in front of all these witnesses,” smiled Winston. “Come, let us dine, and forget about that pompous individual.”

With the dismay of the afternoon’s events vanquished by Harris Winston’s declaration, the dinner party was celebratory in nature. None of Sergeant Barnes colleagues believed that any other outcome than matrimony would come from the courtship of the handsome man and the woman who had captured his heart, Amelia Winston. Released from the need to keep the attachment between them private, the couple were expressive in their love for each other, often touching or gazing at each other with obvious affection. Afterwards, when the gentlemen left for the smoking room, and the women took their place in a cozy alcove in the great room, both principals, Barnes and Amelia, expressed their thanks to their friends and colleagues for their support. Both were assured that the support was infinite.

It was late when Mr. Winston emerged from his private discussion with Anthony Stark. Although the others waited to give him a tour of the building, he insisted that it wait for another day, at a reasonable hour, and bid them his adieu. Amelia and Sergeant Barnes escorted him down to the lobby to say their final goodbyes to him. Mr. Hogan wasn’t there, but one of his men was and hailed a cab for Winston. Once more, he looked fondly at his daughter then hugged her with great affection.

“I leave you in the capable hands of Sergeant Barnes,” he said. “Enjoy these early days as you discover more about each other. Those discoveries will be like an elixir to the richness of your relationship. Goodnight, my darling, until I see you soon.”

He kissed her on the forehead, then shook hands with Sergeant Barnes once again. As his hansom cab disappeared into the rainy night, the couple stopped in the darkened lobby, lit only by several electric sconces on the wall that cast a soft glow on the still operating fountain. Hogan’s man disappeared to his post outside, stationed under a canopy that kept him dry, leaving them alone in the darkened space.

“I like your father,” said Barnes. “He is an admirable man of reason and restraint.”

“He likes you, too. I could tell.” She caressed his face. “Thank you for trusting me.”

“Always, dearest Amelia.”

Drawing her closer, he wrapped his left arm around her waist, as the back of his fingertips brushed lightly against her cheek. No words were spoken as he lowered his lips to hers once again, desiring to taste her sweetness. When they pulled apart, she looked away for a moment as if she wished to say something.

“What is it, my darling?” he asked gently. “You may broach any subject with me.”

“I have noticed that although neither couple are yet married, they share an apartment together. I speak of Natasha and Mr. Barton, and Wanda and Vision. At first, I was somewhat shocked, although I said nothing as both women were so kind to me. Is that how it is with the individuals of the Avengers? Is marriage not considered as desirable?”

He shook his head sagely. “Their attachments were made before they joined the Society. Natasha and Clint will be married soon. Wanda was in a dire situation when Vision rescued her from a fate almost as bad as what HYDRA intended for me. Their love is deep, but she is still afraid of allowing herself the pleasure of a formal marriage. Since they have agreed to their arrangement together, no one is in a position to say otherwise. She is older than she appears. What her captors did to her changed her appearance, as part of their plans for her. Someday, her emotions will have healed to a point where she can allow herself to marry Vision. I dare not say more, for it is her story to tell.”

She nodded her head, then searched his face again. “I must confess that I have never been intimate with a man. This, what you and I are doing right now, is the extent of my experience. Although I was raised liberally, my only knowledge of what happens in private between a man and a woman is clinical or second hand at best and if you expect the same free relationship as those other two ladies, I am unsure if I can consent to that. I do want to please you, but I do not know what to do.”

His soft eyes travelled over Amelia’s upturned face, then he kissed every surface of it, before wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair before regarding her again.

“My darling, my desire is for matrimony, but I would not discount the possibility that we may connect physically before that blessed event. Whenever that time happens, whether before or after our marriage, I promise you to be patient and gentle, and to acquire your consent first. I will never force myself on you and if ever what happens in the privacy of our boudoir distresses you, just tell me to stop and I will do so immediately. The act itself isn’t as important as the feelings of closeness and intimacy that it can foster. My wish is also to please you so that you experience the fullness of the joining of two bodies and two souls simultaneously. Do you trust my word?”

She nodded then smiled and they kissed again before returning to the elevator. When he escorted her to her door, he kissed her on the inside of her wrist, before leaving a long lingering kiss on her lips. After locking her door, Amelia leaned against it, feeling warm inside at the words that James expressed to her, and the kiss he left her with. She did long to lay in his arms and experience the joy of a physical connection, but her lack of experience troubled her. Surely, a man like him had been with other women before; he practically said so when they discussed their pasts on their first assignation.

Her knowledge of male anatomy was restricted to the perusal of medical anatomy books, as well as the viewing of classical statues in the finer museums. By what she had seen of his chest and back when he had his shirt off for the treatment of his sword wound, James had the stature desired by artists for their models. There had been times she had witnessed the mating of animals, finding it disturbing as it seemed to be an act of domination, even subjugation, by the male over the female, involving biting, scratching and much pain for the hapless female caught under the body of the larger and stronger male. On occasion she overheard the maids in her father’s house compare stories about the men they had been with. They often used slang terms that she didn’t understand, but she had no doubt they were speaking of the sexual act. She let out a shaky breath. James promised that if and when the occasion rose, they found themselves in that position he would be kind and gentle. He was a man of his word and considering he seemed to have more experience in the matter, she would have to take his word for truth.

Her father stayed longer in New York City after concluding his business with General Pierce, in which he declined to represent the man, even though he was offered a significant retainer. When the Avengers left for several days on a mission to another part of the country, taking a private train to the location, he visited Amelia at the Society, getting the tour of her domain, including a viewing of those skulls she was told about on her first day there. On the return of the heroic individuals, Amelia felt the pleasure of James’ reunion with her. His kisses were more intense, and she felt a change in the attraction between them to something more physical, a mutual feeling on her part. On the second night after their return, when James escorted her to her room at the end of the evening, he kissed her passionately, then licked his lips as if he had something to ask.

“Would you grant me access to your apartment, so that we may be alone for a time?” he asked, in a low voice that gave her a sense of anticipation.

“Yes, you may come in,” she replied, without hesitation, turning slightly to roll the numbers on the dials.

The locks clicked and she opened the door, stepping inside, as he followed her. It was the first time they had been alone in there together. The thrumming of rain against the window was the only sound in the darkened space. As she turned away to switch on a table lamp, he grasped her hand and pulled her closer.

“I missed you,” he whispered. “All my dreams were of you, of us, being alone.” Her heart was pounding, and he placed his palm over it. “You are nervous, I know. I wish only to begin exploring a new level of affection between us. May I kiss you in a way that I’ve been longing for?”

“Yes,” she croaked, then cleared her throat. “Yes, please.”

His hold on her tightened as he pulled her in closer than he ever did before. There was a tenseness in his body that she never previously noticed, like a bow was being pulled to a tautness that would explode if released. She felt its effect on her own person, as she began to breathe quickly, while a pool of heat was forming low in her abdomen. It was a disquieting feeling but strangely not unwelcome.

When he pressed his lips against hers this time, his mouth was slightly open, and she felt the soft touch of his tongue against her mouth. It seemed appropriate to open her lips as her own tongue sought communion with his. A rush of heat blazed through her whole body and for a moment, her knees buckled but James held her upright, pressing her against the wall, while protecting her back with his embrace. His mouth moved gently but firmly against hers as a whimpering sound escaped from her throat. When he finally pulled away after what seemed like an eternity of this sensation of warmth and desire, her hands were grasping his shoulders as he continued holding her in his arms.

Amelia had no words. Never, ever had she been kissed in that manner and all that she could think of was that she wanted to be kissed again just like that … no, deeper and with more intensity. With a soft smile, James bent his head down to hers, then kissed her on the neck, just below her ear and once more, Amelia felt like her legs were weak. A smile appeared on his face, and he gazed at her in a way that made her warm inside once more.

“I feel faint,” she gasped, surprised when he picked her up in his arms and sat in an armchair, placing her in his lap.

“May I loosen your blouse?”

His voice was full of concern, in the darkness that seemed to envelop them.

“Yes, I also need light, please,” she murmured.

Reaching to the table lamp, he pressed the switch and the soft glow cast a golden light on their situation. With care, he undid the top three buttons of her blouse, his fingers lingering on her exposed skin.

“Would you like some water?”

She shook her head, trying to steady her breathing, while he tenderly rubbed her back. Turning to look at him in the light, she leaned her head towards his, resting it against his cheek.

“That was like nothing I ever felt before,” she breathed. “I am ….”

The amused smile that broke out on his face was followed by a hesitant inquiry. “You liked it?”

“Oh, James, I liked it very much.” She pulled slightly away from him and looked into his eyes. “Is the rest of what we spoke of that enjoyable?”

He took a moment to choose his words. “For a woman, the first time she allows a man to join with her might be painful, but it doesn’t last. May I ask if you felt anything in your lower body?” She felt a heat in her cheeks at his question but nodded. “It was the beginning of what is called coming, in the sense that it gets continually more prominent until your body releases the tension.”

“Like a flower bud suddenly opening?” she asked.

“You could look at it that way, but it is happening inside, although if you wish to express it through sound or movement, I would like that, for it means that I have pleased you.”

“That’s important to you.”

“Yes. If we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together it’s important that you like being with me in that way, for it is a joyous act.”

“Can we do it now?”

He smiled. “In good time. Tonight, I wanted only to show you how gentle touches between us could be pleasurable.”

“There’s more?”

“Oh yes. May I demonstrate?”

On her approval he reached for Amelia’s blouse and undid more buttons to reveal the top of her chemise. With the back of his fingertips, he brushed along the skin from her collarbone down to the ribbon in her chemise, tugging on it until it came undone. Leaning forward he pressed his lips into the valley of her bosom, kissing it with the greatest of attention, before moving up towards her neck and back to that spot under her ear.

“Oh my,” she gasped. “I feel warm again.”

“I know,” he murmured, against her neck. “I want you to feel warm. You can do the same to me, you know.”

“Take your jacket off,” she ordered, to his surprise, then watched with fascination at how quickly he did so. “I wish to take your tie off.” Pulling it out of his vest she loosened it and lifted it up over his head, tossing it to the side. Unbuttoning his starched shirt collar, she opened it, removing it from around his neck. It too, was tossed to the side. With her sure hands she undid his shirt buttons, opening the edges up to reveal his hirsute chest. Its appearance fascinated her, and she caressed the soft curls, noticing that James had closed his eyes and laid his head back against the chair back. Undoing the remaining buttons of his vest she opened it wide, then opened more of his shirt buttons, exposing even more of his chest. Looking up, she noticed James watching her.

“I like your chest,” she explained. “Ever since that first night. May I kiss it?”

“Please.”

Shifting slightly, she leaned towards him and bent her head to his chest, pressing her lips against his skin, trying to mimic how he had kissed her bosom. She became aware of a firmness pressing against her leg, positioned close to James’ groin. Looking up at him brought a small smile to his face.

“What is that?”

“That is my manhood preparing for coming. You have seen statues of unclothed men in the museums, have you not?”

“Yes.”

“They do not show the manhood in this state of rigidity, as it is considered obscene in polite company, but it is an essential part of the joining between a man and a woman.”

She placed her hand on the obvious bulge, stroking it and smiling as James groaned in a manner that made that feeling form in her lower abdomen again. After several long moments, he reached with his hand and removed hers from where it was, bringing it to his lips and kissing it.

“I am being sorely tested. It is a very sensitive part of male anatomy that is liable to go off too soon if it becomes too eager.”

Her smile was so sweet and knowing at the same time. “Because I touched it?”

“That, and placing your hands on me, and allowing my lips on your skin. It is all part of the mystery of what a man and a woman may do in private, as they explore their desires together. Now, my darling, I am going to end this, as gratifying as it has been. I made a promise to myself to educate you gradually in this matter. You are too quick a student, but that is just an observation, not a complaint.”

She smiled sweetly again, pleased and he pulled her over him, so he could gaze up at her angelic face. Lowering her face to his, they kissed again, and he couldn’t help but place his flesh hand inside her blouse, caressing over her chemise to feel her breast on his palm. A soft whimper from her throat tempted him to abandon his plan, and to take her there on that chair but he withdrew his hand and gently pushed her away, determined to remain a gentleman.

“I do love you,” he murmured, as she looked at him. “You are altogether beautiful my love; there is no flaw in you.”

She blushed at his quotation from the Song of Solomon, verse 4:7, then quoted verse 7:10 back to him.

“I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.”

“No truer words have ever been spoken.”

He rose, helping Amelia onto her feet, re-buttoning his shirt and gathering his collar, tie and jacket. At the door, he regarded her once more, then bent down and kissed her on the lips. He stepped out into the hallway towards his door, noticing she watched him. With a final smile, he unlocked his door and stepped inside, stumbling over an envelope addressed to him that had been slid under the door. Entering further into his suite, he dropped his jacket, tie and collar on a chair, then turned on the overhead electric lamp. A harsh spattering of rain against his window drew his attention for a moment then he used the letter opener to open the large envelope, finding two sheets of paper inside. He frowned at reading the content on the first sheet, written in a florid hand.

Your lady is beautiful. If you truly love her, you will leave her and return home. That is the only way she will be safe.

With a coldness building in his belly, he looked at the second sheet. It was a drawing of Amelia and her father, obviously drawn during his sojourn in New York, as it showed a landmark behind it. Stepping towards the telephone, he contacted the security desk at the door of the building. A male voice answered on the second ring.

“This is Barnes. The envelope that came for me,” he began. “Do you have a name or description of the person who dropped it off?”

“No sir,” replied the door attendant on duty. “A lady’s umbrella blew out and I assisted her in righting it. When I turned back it was there. I called to the indoor man on duty to deliver it to your suite.” There was a moment’s silence. “Is there a problem, sir?”

“Not with you, no,” replied Barnes. “Thank you.”

He sat in his armchair, reading and re-reading the note and looking at the drawing, trying to quell the fear that threatened his composure. For hours, he sat there, with only the sound of the rain hitting against the window as company. When the rain finally ended and the night began to brighten into day, he made a decision. Refastening his collar and tie, he buttoned his vest up and put his jacket then hat on. Replacing the sheets inside the envelope he went to the door of his apartment and opened it, looking to see if anyone was up. It was quiet and he slipped over to the elevator, waiting for it to rise to the 17th floor.

On the trip down he wrestled with what he was about to do, but it was clear to him that Amelia was in danger. The need to get her out of New York seemed to scream at him in increasing intensity. Striding out of the elevator, he went to the door, surprising the door attendant.

“Hail me a cab,” he ordered, which the door attendant did immediately. When it came, he practically jumped into the interior. “Astor House.”

There was no other way around it, he had to send Amelia away. The quickest and best way was to send her back to Chicago with her father. The trip to the hotel seemed to take forever but they finally arrived, just as the early risers were awakening. He strode to the front desk and pressed the bell to call the clerk. A man in morning clothes came out of the back and faced him.

“I need to speak with Mr. Harris Winston, of Chicago,” stated James.

“Is he expecting you, sir?”

“No, but it is an urgent matter. I beg that you call up to his room, as I know he rises early. Tell him it is Sergeant James Barnes, and it involves his daughter.”

“One moment sir.” The man went to a telephone on the desk behind him and dialled the room. Several seconds later he started speaking, then hung up. “Room 516, Sergeant Barnes on the fifth floor. It is to the right of the elevator.”

“Thank you.”

Trying to temper his growing disquiet he looked up at the floor indicator, wishing that elevators were faster. The doors opened and he looked right to see Mr. Winston standing in the open doorway, beckoning to him. He was still in his night clothes but wore a robe. Quickly, Barnes stepped inside and waited for Winston to join him.

“I apologize profusely for interrupting your usual morning routine, but an envelope was delivered to my attention at the Society late last night,” began Barnes. “It is a disturbing communication from an unknown source. I beg you to look at it and counsel me on how to respond to it.”

He handed the envelope to the older man, who went to a table and pulled a pair of reading glasses on before opening the envelope and removing the contents. After reading the note, he studied the drawing.

“We were there, two days ago,” he said, “shortly before your return, I believe. You think it is a threat against my Amy?”

“I do, sir, a credible threat. I believe that she needs to leave New York.”

“She won’t leave. Her independent nature will convince her to stay and prove the threat wrong. Unless, you have a means to convince her.”

“I do but it won’t be pleasant.” Barnes removed his hat to run his hand through his hair, noticing for the first time he had forgotten to wear gloves. “I mean to break it off with her. It pains me to do it, because I do love her dearly, but I can see no other way that she willingly leaves. I want her to return to Chicago with you.”

Winston studied the papers again, then gestured to Barnes to sit with him.

“You would sacrifice your happiness to protect her?”

“I would, sir. Her safety is paramount, and I fear the people behind this are the same ones who held me captive. It is likely they wish to finish what they started. They are extremely dangerous and even our assemblage of individuals is hard pressed to fight them. We need to focus all of our attention and resources on the fight. With her there, my attention may be divided and that could mean the difference between success and failure.”

“Very well, I will cut short my visit and purchase 2 train tickets for Chicago. If you wish to dine with me here in the room, I believe I can make that call shortly after I finish eating. I think it would be prudent to confirm the tickets before you break the news to her.”

“Thank you, sir. I don’t think I could eat at the moment, but I will accept a cup of coffee. I did not sleep last night, and I need the stimulation of a strong coffee.”

Winston placed the call for breakfast then took some clothes into the bathroom, coming out about 15 minutes later, dressed. Almost immediately, there was a knock on the door and breakfast was delivered along with a pot of coffee and two cups and saucers. As Mr. Winston ate, Barnes sipped his coffee, savouring the quality of the roast. It was fine coffee, but considering the fact that Astor House was the premier hotel in New York City, it shouldn’t have been surprising. Half an hour later, Mr. Winston checked his pocket watch and swallowed his final bite of breakfast, washing it down with the coffee.

Lifting the receiver of the telephone he asked the front desk to connect him to the ticket booth at Grand Central Depot, the train station located at the edge of the city. After enquiring about the times of the day’s trains to Chicago he requested a reservation for two people in a premier car for Mr. Harris Winston and his daughter Miss Amelia Winston. The train, scheduled to depart at 11:30 am, would arrive in Chicago 12 hours later. The cost was $7.00 for both of them. With the tickets reserved, Winston hung up and looked at Barnes.

“It will take us at least 45 minutes to get there from your location. I will try to be there for 10:30. Do you believe that is enough time to inform her and get her packed?”

“It will have to be.” Barnes stood up and replaced his hat, then offered his hand to man who could have been his father-in-law one day. “I am truly sorry for hurting her.”

The older man smiled sadly. “I know it, but it is indicative of how much you do love her. Once we return to Chicago I will explain the real reason behind your actions. She will be angry but perhaps she will find it in her heart to forgive you one day.”

“Perhaps,” agreed Barnes. “Good day, sir.”

He left, never expecting to resume the Winston’s acquaintance again, already accepting that with this strategy it would be truly over. As he rode back in the hansom cab, he steeled himself to the distasteful task ahead of him. After the loving interlude of the evening before, it was difficult to reconcile that he was now planning to break the heart of the woman he loved to protect her.

Part 5>>

Series Masterlist

Please support the author by reblogging.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #buckybarnes original female character #bucky barnes au #james buchanan barnes au #avengers au #buckybarnes slow burn

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mapstone · 1 year ago

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Anayas Return

*i do not own the characters from “Orville” this is only a fanfictionstory.

Captain of her own ship now Anaya , Captain Ed Mercers daughter , had thrown aside her belief in Krill culture and abandoned the planet she was raised on. She specifically asked Alara Kitan to sponsor her training into the fleet. Alara was only too happy to help once she’d learned who Anaya really was.

Having only ever been a bad reminder of a mission to imprison Ed , Her mother saw her as an afterthought and a tool to regain power if she ever lost Krillians favor . she was never supposed to be , and so To Teleya she was Nothing essentially .

“I am Not Krill” Anaya denounced her mothers race before adding “I am Anaya Mercer , Daughter of Ed , a Captain of your Forces and I wish to serve As my father has Before me.

“Welcome Ensign Mercer, you will find your fathers items and logs to learn from here as well as the regular programs”

The Host was small , a group of near retired captains , engineers , only one knew Ed personally and his story of having a half Krill daughter, whom he was denied a relationship with.

“”Thankyou , for opening the doors to me , I am very happy so be here in the same capacity as my father. I’m sure I will learn well and serve well.” She paused “Is there any news yet of my father? “

“no ensign , so sorry , I know you are eager to meet him again as we are to find him safe and have him return . Let’s all pray he does soon.”

That was 4 yrs ago she told herself .

The hope of her fathers return was rewarded shortly , He’d been marooned on the unexplored surface of Galti 3 , By Bortus his Moclan security detail following an argument of how to proceed with an investigation of strange life forms. Bortus was more afraid of dying by the hands of an unknown species , and left Ed alone to investigate , Ed found a few species on the planet and one that allowed him to summon the Orville to send another Ship to collect him.

To be continued

Pt2

Anaya was happy when Ed returned , sore and angry but exhausted and happy most of all to find a growing family .

He spent hours making special logs for her to know him better , which she went thru first after her training began. She learned quickly and passed several rankings twice as fast as her human counterparts in training .

She followed him and Molloy and she peppered him with questions about parts of his life on earth , and begged to come with him and visit when she could.

Ed was exhausted but answered as many questions as he could, but he thought back often to the marooning on Galti 3 and couldn’t get back those precious first three weeks. He spent five days searching for intelligent beings and 6 days fighting off hungry aliens now being classified in the data base as pitzi a cat like race that could communicate but would rather eat the first fresh meat in site. When he finally got far enough away from the pitzi and they stopped chasing him he found a humanoid race they classified as Dvashti who were intelligent and kept a treasure hoard of LOST items among them communicators that Orvillians would have in their hands . The big question left to Ed was HOW did the Dvashti come into these communicators ? He suspected they murdered another fleet crew or at least robbed them. Any way he was Grateful to have a communicator and a power source to connect it to and made contact sending for Malloy to pick him up off Galti 3. He wasn’t just forgotten about , he was missed after several sweeps even in that 3 weeks , his crew members were unable to find him.

#the orville #FanFiction the Orville

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bridgertonbabe · 3 years ago

Note

Did the Benophie blip exhausted all your energies? 😂

I mean ngl, it did 😂 After churning out the better part of a 50k+ word count in one week I was admittedly a little bit worn out lmao

#asks #but after writing ash's birthday one shot i'm back in the swing of things #i've made a start on the next chapter of the teachers au so regular programming will return shortly #writing

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coachbob · 3 years ago

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Army Jockstrap Platoon

( I found this posting in a male fetish blog, but found it of interest because the special fitness training programs were occurring during my senior year pursuing a degree in physical education, and there was extreme disapproval by academics over the Army method of forced overload physical training. It is my understanding that the programs were an expensive failure from about every perspective) Bob

This reminiscence will probably be best appreciated by anyone who served in the Army during the era of the Vietnam War draft, but for others it might do nothing else but reflect on jockstraps, Physical Training and untimely hard-ons in the course of military life.

As a combat medic, I did 5 weeks at a Missouri Army training base, assigned to a special remedial physical fitness company for what were classified as non-standard draftees. In order to sustain conscription numbers Selective Service waived height, weight and medical fitness standards for Army draftees. Overweight conscripts were sent to a similar program in a Louisiana Army base and we received the classic 90 lb. weaklings in Missouri. Many of these kids were too weak to even carry their 40 lb.duffel bags from Quartermaster issue station to their barracks without help, so the Army cycled them thru repeatable 30 day programs of intense physical training, prior to transferring them to regular basic training companies.The Army lingo for the program was Operation Runts into Grunts, since most of them would eventually be assigned to infantry.

Without boring you with details, the recruits did PT, all day, 6 days a week with usually one weekly all night sandbag weighted ruck march. They were pushed to their limits and required us medics to scrape them up off of the grinder when they collapsed from heat or exhaustion and get them to the triage tent. The recovery tent was a story in itself as the SOP was to strip them down, hose them off to cool them down then monitor their pulse and temperature (yea thru the tailpipe thermometer) then let them rest to get rid of nausea etc. At the same time, the Drill Sgt. and PTI were screaming at us to get them pack into formation for more PT. In the time frame I was there they wore PT Alpha uniforms (gym shoes, socks, jock, OD tee shirts and gym shorts.) Shortly after my gig ended these companies converted back to fatigues and combat boots, just like the thousands of other trainees on base.

Almost all of the special company recruits were issues small size BUB brand jocks. These were serious jocks, stayed in place and tightly held their man parts all day. They were also green in color matching their shorts and shirts. They were each issued three jockstraps and no other underwear, but that is probably a story for a later time.

About 17:00 hours each day, when dismissed the recruits gladly returned to their barracks, threw their sweaty PT gear in the laundry bin and looked forward for their showers. My partner and I were also glad to get out of our BDU's and join them in a refreshing shower. We had to stay in the shower area as 30 minutes after PT we had to record the weights and pulse rates of each man.

Well, hard-ons happened. Certainly nothing related to sexual horseplay as they were way too tired, but it seemed like every few days a recruit would display a serious erection in the shower, and like clockwork they would become contagious. It made for a crazy sight a dozen or so "cannons" ranging from 4" to 10" suddenly pointing outward and upward! My guess is that thee hard-ons may have been caused by nothing else than their dicks deciding to stretch out a bit having been constrained by tight jockstraps all day.

On one occasion, the PTI (Physical Training Instructor) walked by the shower and went ballistic about the erections. He screamed that if they had enough energy to raise their dick muscles then they certainly had enough energy for more PT. He gave them 2 minutes to get out of the shower, don the sweat soaked PT gear out of the laundry bin, ANYONE'S CLOTHES and form up in front of the barracks for a run back to the drill field for more PT. I don't recall specifically, but I doubt that any of them sprouted hard-ons when they returned to the shower after the bonus hour or so of PT. This only occurred once during my assignment but still was memorable.

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hattusha · 2 years ago

Photo

Enki

(story dump underneath)

First artwork of 2023, though technically this is still from last year. I began this just as a regular portrait, but it kinda ended having a similar vibe as the other color-coded ones I did for my OCs. I guess Enki's colour scheme is silver then. Or white. Both aren't akshually colours, I know. Enki isn' actually his real name, just something he picked because being an Edward Jackson is too generic, lol. His chosen name was taken from a God of the Mesopotamian pantheon (just like my other OC, Astarte, though that's actually her given name). Yeah, Sumerian and Akkadian mythology are recurring elements in my story. Enki hails from Texas USA, though in the Alternate Universe of my story which is set in the 2100s, the United States are no more and Texas became an independent country. It's a long story (and somewhat influenced by current real life happenings), but Texas independence came with a terrible civil war (and at a great cost). Enki and his people moved away to France when he was a child to evade being killed. His older brother started to work for a shady Technology company over in England and from there on things were never the same anymore. Eventually his brother would get entangled into a scandal (after witnessing somethign he wasn't ought to see) and arrested. Not shortly after he underwent the typical "reformation" program to recondition his supposedly criminal mind. That went pretty wrong according to the authorities. But instead of sending him back to his family (to be looked for and cared after) Enki's older brother was still kept in a facility somewhere in England. Even after too many inquiries, pleas and after threatening legal actions the authorities from Britannia would not return Enki's brother to his family, nor are they willing to give them any further information about his wherabouts. Enki would never see his beloved brother again. After the situation in Texas calmed down Enki moved back (while his family remained in Europe). He would soon lose them both as well. When his dad conducted investigations on the wherabouts of his eldest son he found information about how parts of "the Party" of Britannia were involved in very illegal activities that violated several human rights. Among them were experiments and research carried out on political prisoners such as his son. After this discovery Enki's parents would eventually "vanish" at the border between France and Germany during their vacation. Enki carries on despite the grief of loss almost destroying him. He relocates a few times to the various countries and city states that arose in the wake of the US collapse. In New York he eventually gets a job as an accountant at an IT firm that specializes in combat AI systems. That's were he learns about the "eternal kind" - half human-eldritch beings that can live for centuries. The owner of the firm is part of a group or cult who support and follow the leader of the Phonoi-halflings, a tribe that desended from cosmic beings called Phonoi by humans. This man reveals Enki the truth about the fate of his older brother and parents - that they were abused and used in anti-Phonoi research that the Britannians conducted with the help and aid of their government. And that the entities that carried them out were the Epsilon Defence organisation and Britannia Genesys Life Sciences (BGLS), a pharma company owned and led by the father of Loui Device. Enki swears to avenge his dead family and to kill all the people involved with the research. And because Loui was working for BGLS at that time Enki is also hellbent and fixated on murdering him. Personally I'd call him the Visual Kei Texas Rager, because he is usually pissed off and full of RRRRAAAGE. His hair is bleached (he'd love to be as kewl as some halflings and have natural white hair) and his fave fashion style of choice is Visual Kei (the good kind from the 1990s). He changed his looks often so I maybe do an artwork of when he had a different hairstyle.

#OC #original character #Eternal #portrait #Enki #character development #storytelling #digital art #digital painting #story #Illustration #male character #art #my art

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nasa · 5 years ago

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Top 10 Things to Know for the Return of our Launch America Mission With SpaceX

History was made May 30 when NASA astronauts Robert Behnken and Douglas Hurley launched from American soil in a commercially built and operated American crew spacecraft on its way to the International Space Station.

Pictured above is the SpaceX Dragon Endeavour spacecraft that lifted off on the company’s Falcon 9 rocket from Launch Complex 39A at Kennedy Space Center in Florida and docked with the space station on May 31. Now, Behnken and Hurley are ready to return home in Endeavour for a splashdown off the coast of Florida, closing out a mission designed to test SpaceX’s human spaceflight system, including launch, docking, splashdown, and recovery operations. Undocking is targeted for 7:34 p.m. ET on August 1, with splashdown back to Earth slated for 2:42 p.m. on August 2. Watch our continuous live coverage HERE.

1. Where will Behnken and Hurley splash down?

Image: SpaceX’s Crew Dragon is guided by four parachutes as it splashes down in the Atlantic on March 8, 2019, after the uncrewed spacecraft's return from the International Space Station on the Demo-1 mission.

Together with SpaceX, we are capable of supporting seven splashdown sites off the coast of Florida. The seven potential splashdown sites for the Dragon Endeavor are off the coasts of Pensacola, Tampa, Tallahassee, Panama City, Cape Canaveral, Daytona, and Jacksonville.

2. How will a splashdown location be chosen?

Splashdown locations are selected using defined priorities, starting with selecting a station departure date and time with the maximum number of return opportunities in geographically diverse locations to protect for weather changes. Teams also prioritize locations which require the shortest amount of time between undocking and splashdown based on orbital mechanics, and splashdown opportunities that occur in daylight hours.

Check out the Departure and Splashdown Criteria Fact Sheet for an in-depth look at selecting return locations, decision points during return, and detailed weather criteria.

3. How long will it take for Behnken and Hurley to return to Earth?

Return time for Behnken and Hurley will vary depending on the undock and splashdown opportunities chosen, with the primary opportunity taking between six and 30 hours.

4. What does the return look like? What are the major milestones?

Crew Dragon’s return home will start with undocking from the International Space Station. At the time of undock, Dragon Endeavour and its trunk weigh approximately 27,600 pounds. We will provide live coverage of the return from undocking all the way through splashdown.

There will be two very small engine burns immediately after hooks holding Crew Dragon in place retract to actually separate the spacecraft from the station. Once flying free, Dragon Endeavour will autonomously execute four departure burns to move the spaceship away from the space station and begin the flight home. Several hours later, one departure phasing burn, lasting about six minutes, puts Crew Dragon on the proper orbital path to line it up with the splashdown zone.

Shortly before the final deorbit burn, Crew Dragon will separate from its trunk, which will burn up in Earth’s atmosphere. The spacecraft then executes the deorbit burn, which commits Crew Dragon to return and places it on an orbit with the proper trajectory for splashdown. After trunk separation and the deorbit burn are complete, the Crew Dragon capsule weighs approximately 21,200 pounds.

5. How fast will Dragon Endeavour be going when it re-enters the Earth’s atmosphere? How hot will it get?

Crew Dragon will be traveling at orbital velocity prior to re-entry, moving at approximately 17,500 miles per hour. The maximum temperature it will experience on re-entry is approximately 3,500 degrees Fahrenheit. The re-entry creates a communications blackout between the spacecraft and Earth that is expected to last approximately six minutes.

6. When do the parachutes deploy?

Image: SpaceX’s final test of Crew Dragon’s Mark 3 parachute system on Friday, May 1, 2020, that will be used during the Demo-2 splashdwon mission.

Dragon Endeavour has two sets of parachutes will that deploy once back inside Earth’s atmosphere to slow down prior to splashdown. Two drogue parachutes will deploy at about 18,000 feet in altitude while Crew Dragon is moving approximately 350 miles per hour. Four main parachutes will deploy at about 6,000 feet in altitude while Crew Dragon is moving approximately 119 miles per hour.

7. Who recovers the crew and the Dragon Endeavour capsule from the water? What vehicles and personnel are involved?

Image: SpaceX’s Crew Dragon is loaded onto the company’s recovery ship, Go Searcher, in the Atlantic Ocean, about 200 miles off Florida’s east coast, on March 8, after returning from the International Space Station on the Demo-1 mission.Credits: SpaceX

For splashdown at any of the seven potential sites, SpaceX personnel will be on location to recover the capsule from the water. Two recovery ships, the Go Searcher and the Go Navigator, split locations between the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Florida. On either ship will be more than 40 personnel from SpaceX and NASA, made up of spacecraft engineers, trained water recovery experts, medical professionals, the ship’s crew, NASA cargo experts, and others to assist in the recovery.

8. How long after splashdown until Behnken and Hurley are out of the capsule?

Image: NASA astronaut Doug Hurley, along with teams from NASA and SpaceX, rehearse crew extraction from SpaceX’s Crew Dragon, on August 13, 2019. Credits: NASA/Bill Ingalls

Immediately after splashdown has occurred, two fast boats with SpaceX personnel deploy from the main recovery ship. The first boat checks capsule integrity and tests the area around the Crew Dragon for the presence of any hypergolic propellant vapors. Once cleared, the personnel on the boats begin preparing the spaceship for recovery by the ship. The second fast boat is responsible for safing and recovering Crew Dragon’s parachutes, which have at this point detached from the capsule and are in the water.

At this point the main recovery vessel can move in and begin to hoist the Crew Dragon capsule onto the main deck. Once the capsule is on the recovery vessel, it is moved to a stable location for the hatch to be opened for waiting medical professionals to conduct initial checks and assist Behnken and Hurley out of Dragon Endeavour.

This entire process is expected to take approximately 45 to 60 minutes, depending on spacecraft and sea state conditions.

9. Where do Behnken and Hurley go after they are out of the capsule?

Immediately after exiting the Crew Dragon capsule, Behnken and Hurley will be assisted into a medical area on the recovery ship for initial assessment. This is similar to procedures when welcoming long-duration crew members returning home on Soyuz in Kazakhstan.

After initial medical checks, Behnken and Hurley will be returned to shore either by traveling on the primary recovery ship or by helicopter. Helicopter returns from the recovery ship are the baseline for all splashdown zones except for the Cape Canaveral splashdown site, with travel times ranging from approximately 10 minutes to 80 minutes. The distance from shore will be variable depending on the splashdown location, ranging from approximately 22 nautical miles to 175 nautical miles.

Once returned to shore, both crew members will immediately board a waiting NASA plane to fly back to Ellington field in Houston.

10. What happens next?

Image: NASA astronauts Shannon Walker, Victor Glover Jr. and Mike Hopkins and Japan’s Soichi Noguchi train in a SpaceX Crew Dragon capsule. Credit: SpaceX

Meanwhile, Dragon Endeavour will be returned back to the SpaceX Dragon Lair in Florida for inspection and processing. Teams will examine the data and performance of the spacecraft throughout the test flight to complete the certification of the system to fly operational missions for our Commercial Crew and International Space Station Programs. The certification process is expected to take about six weeks. Following successful certification, the first operational mission will launch with Crew Dragon commander Michael Hopkins, pilot Victor Glover, and mission specialist Shannon Walker – all of NASA – along with Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) mission specialist Soichi Noguchi will launch on the Crew-1 mission from Launch Complex 39A at NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida. The four crew members will spend six months on the space station.

The launch is targeted for no earlier than late-September.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com

#NASA #SpaceX #rocket #rocket launches #commercial space #astronauts #NASA astronauts #Launch America

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hellsenthero · 4 years ago

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The Night Soldier Program | Chapter 1.

Written by: hellsenthero

Bucky X Femreader

Freed from her life at Hydra Y/N joins the Avengers in hope of doing some good in her life. Opening up about her time at Hydra the team learns about other programs similar to Bucky’s. The Winter Soldier Program, The Summer Soldier Program and The Night Soldier Program. They’re still up and running and it’s up to Bucky and Y/N to work together and put an end to their pasts. But with hidden feelings and dark history it might be harder than either of them expect.

*Series Masterlist* *Regular Masterlist*

Warnings/Themes: Angst, fluff, violence, language.

Square filled: Amputee reader.

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With a quiet ding the elevator door opened and out stepped Y/N. Her heeled boots clicked on the polished floor with each step she took. Outside the wall of windows, autumn wind stirred up dead leaves, blowing them across the compound’s grounds.

Y/N wore a black leather jacket and matching cloves to conceal herself from the cool bite of the air. She’d driven her motorcycle to the compound, parking it just minutes ago.

---

Inside the lounge the Avengers waited to meet their newest teammate. They knew nothing about them save for a name from Fury. Agent Y/L/N.

“Ten bucks says it’s a woman.” Tony said from where he sprawled himself out on the couch. Steve shot him a silent look, telling him to knock it off. Tony ignored him.

“Deal,” Sam said from Steve’s side. He too, pretended to not see the warning in the Captain’s eyes. “And without a doubt I’ll be winning. Fury definitely hired a guy.” Tony didn’t bother hiding his knowing smirk. Fury had a track record of hiring clever, badass women and he was counting on it now.

FRIDAY’s voice announced the new agent’s presence just as she came into the room. Tony silently threw his fists in the air while Sam shook his head in disappointment.

“Agent Y/L/N, it’s nice to meet you.” Steve greeted. Taking a step towards the woman he held his hand out towards her. She greeted him back with a firm handshake.

“It’s nice to meet you, Captain Rogers.” A round of greetings went around the room as Y/N met most of the Avengers. Natasha, Steve, Sam, Tony, Wanda and Vision all stood in the lounge.

Gesturing for Y/N to take a seat Tony said, “We’re missing a couple of us right now but they’ll be along shortly. Barnes and Clint are in the training room and Bruce is in his lab hiding. But,” Tony pointed to Sam before gesturing to the exit, “Sam can go get them on his way to get my money.” It was obvious to Y/N she’d missed something between Tony and Sam, but she kept quiet as the man left the room.

Slipping off her gloves Y/N threw them down on the table before taking her jacket off and laying it over the side of her seat. Tony blew out a long whistle as he took in the sight of her right arm.

“It seems we have another one.” Tony said as his eyes roamed over the ink like metal.

“Excuse me?” Y/N asked, her tone cool as she raised a groomed brow at the billionaire.

“Bucky Barnes, who you’ll meet when Sam returns, has an arm similar to yours.” Tony clarified.

Y/N let out an unimpressed hum. “Until then, do you mind showing me around on a tour?�� She asked. Glossing over Tony’s talk of her metal arm.

Tony gave a dip of his head. “I don’t mind at all.”

---

The tour ended back in the living room. Tony had shown Y/N just about everything and anything in the building. Rooms, gadgets, bullet proof windows, decor. It was all very nice, but none of it particularly impressed the new agent. As they turned the corner and made their way towards the couches Y/N found three men waiting, one Y/N recognized, was Sam.

“Hello.” Y/N greeted, her voice cool and crisp. All three heads turned to face her, their eyes all drawing to focus on her metal arm. Y/N was going to give them a scathing remark before she realized one of the men had a metal arm much like her own.

Silver and shining it gleamed in the light like a star. Y/N took a step closer to the man just as he stepped towards her.

“I’m Agent Y/L/N.”

“Nice to meet you, Agent. I’m Bucky.” Bucky--he had the most beautiful stormy blue eyes, Y/N realized. They shook hands, metal and flesh meeting between them. Off to the side of the pair the third man cleared his throat. Bucky and Y/N broke their staring contest and Y/N turned to the man.

“Hi, I’m Clint.” He introduced.

“Nice to meet you, Clint.”

“Did Hydra do that to you?” Bucky asked, pointing towards Y/N’s metal arm. The question burst from his mouth before he could bite it back. His high tone had him internally cringing as he looked at Y/N. In the artificial light her arm looked like the midnight sky filled with stars. Vines of moonstone glittered between the onyx plates and Bucky couldn’t help but find it beautiful.

“They did.” Y/N answered. A heavy silence fell over the room, no one knowing what to say next. “You were a part of The Winter Soldier Program, weren’t you?” She asked. Bucky nodded his head. Tearing his gaze away from her arm he looked into her E/C eyes.

“I was, but I don’t remember ever seeing you in it.” Y/N’s lips curled into a knowing smile.

“That’s because I wasn’t. I was in The Night Soldier Program.” Taking a step back from Bucky she sat down in one of the many plush chairs. Bucky followed suit, sitting directly across from her.

“Wait, Hydra ran another program then Bucky’s?” Steve asked from his seat on Bucky’s left. The others drew in closer as Y/N went on to explain the programs.

“There’s three programs. The Winter Soldier Program, The Summer Soldier Program and The Night Soldier Program. All are similar in goal but the way they control their soldiers is different.”

“How so?” Steve questioned.

“Well, with the Winter Program they controlled their soldiers by brainwashing them and creating trigger words. Removing most of their memories and then putting their own orders through a series of words so they’re, for lack of better term, mindless slaves.” Bucky nodded along at Y/N’s explanation, not having any issue with her terms. “In the Summer Program they control the soldier’s by converting them over to Hydra, like a cult would. No wiped memories or pain needed.” Y/N folded her hands in her lap, willing them to remain steady as she went on about her own program. “The Night Program, they controlled the soldier’s by fear response. They break you down to discover your biggest fear and force you to live it. You do what they want and they stop, you fight them and they make you live it over and over again.”

“What was your biggest fear then?” Tony asked, his usual playful tone lost to Y/N’s story.

Y/N turned to Tony, her gaze hardening. “That’s none of your business. Now,” she said as she stood from her seat, “if you excuse me, I’m going to settle into my new living quarters.”

----------

Next chapter (2)>

Tag list: (Send an ask to be added!)

@hereforalongtime512

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years ago

Note

hello! i hope you have a happy holidays!! just a question: do you know any good crossover fics? :0 thanks so much! 🥰

Hi Nonny!!

Thank you! My holiday season was great <3 Sorry for the delay on the reply, but your ask was a great one because I’ve wanted to do an update list to my “movies and books” list, so I’m updating it to just “crossovers” because I have more to add and that makes me happy!!

This list ended up getting split across two asks, so for this one, this list is all my bookmarked fics. A part 1.5 with my MFL’s is coming shortly with another ask, and I ask y’all hold off to add your own suggestions to that list instead, please :) Thank you!

CROSSOVERS and FUSIONS (Feb 2021) Pt. 1

See Also:

Fairy Tales and Fantasy

TV, Movies, and Books AU (Fantasy Pt. 2)

Wonderful Life AU

Sherlock / Hannibal Crossovers?

Science Fiction / Fantasy

Faes / Faeries

Disney-esque Fics

Moulin Rouge AU

Crossovers & Fusions Pt.1.5 [MFLs]

It's After That Hurts by jonnyluvssherlock (T, 2,791 w., 1 Ch. || City of Angels AU || Fantasy, Fallen Angel Sherlock, Soldier John, Pining Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Permanently Incomplete Fic) – Sherlock's an angel stuck as a guardian to danger addict John Watson. Everything is fine until he gets too involved. Now he has to make the choice, eternity alone or one life time with a man who may or may not love him.

Caffeine and Adaptive Programming by DemonicSymphony (E, 5,540 w., 1 Ch. || Androids AU / Bond Fusion || Android Sherlock, Coffee Shop AU, Pining John Hinted Bond / Q, Toplock) – Sherlock is a coffee shop android slowly falling for a regular customer. But he's not supposed to be able to feel emotions.

Captain John Watson, Genetics, and Other Crazy Things by cyerus (M, 5,581 w., 1 Ch. || Torchwood Crossover || Humour / Crack, Jealous Sherlock, Sexual Magnet John, Captain John, UST / RST, Three Continents Watson) – The explanation for John "Three Continents" Watson? Jack Harkness is his father. Sherlock doesn't know whether he's going to die from jealousy or sexual frustration first.

The Frost Child by twistedthicket1 (M, 9,994 w., 2 Ch. || Frozen-ish AU || Magical Realism, Christmas, Angst, Fluff, Powerful John) – In a world where people are born with a Gift of varying levels, simple John Watson is the last person one might look at when thinking of any strong Magick capabilities. Hiding comfortably in the shadow of Sherlock's brilliant deducing abilities, John is content to keep it that way...

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

Equilibrium by augustbird (M, 12,351 w., 1 Ch. || Flowers for Algernon Fusion || Jealous then Worried Sherlock, Sick John) – At Baskerville, John is infected by a virus that turns him into a genius. But when the infection progresses into neurodegeneration, it's a race against time to save himself.

The Nutcracker by Odamaki (T, 13,758 w., 7 Ch. || Nutcracker AU || Christmas, Dark Magic, Dolls) – Sherlock is unimpressed with Uncle Rudy's present. A doll? What does he want with a doll?

Wonderful, Etcetera. by VictoryCandescence (T, 16,955 w., 3 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood, Homophobia, Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Drug Use, Friendship, Different TRF, Sherlock’s Past, Victor Trevor is Past Boyfriend, Depression, Hallucination, Love Confessions, Christmas, First Kiss) – Sherlock thinks everyone would be better off if he had never existed, including and especially himself. When he finds himself in a world in which his wish has been granted, he begins to think perhaps even he could be wrong – but it takes an unlikely chaperone to make him not only observe, but understand.

Uncharted Territory by J_Baillier (T, 19,603 w., 4 Ch. || Dystopian Future / Black Mirror AU || Alternate First Meeting, Angst, Drama, Homophobia, Bisexuality, Technology, Humour, Romance, Near Future, Happy Ending) – The System puts people through a series of assigned relationships in order to determine who their Perfect Match is. John believes that it works; Sherlock really, really doesn't. One of them is probably going to be wrong.

Once Upon a Beast Becoming by antietamfalls (T, 24,042 w., 6 Ch. || Beauty and the Beast AU || Magical Realism, Folklore, Celtic Mythology) – An act of pride, a druid’s curse, an enchanted leaf; Sherlock’s torment has lasted an age. Hope arrives in the form of one John Watson, a man uniquely suited to break the spell. But with a single night to win his affections, Sherlock finds his carefully laid plans disrupted by a monstrous killer whose sights are set on the only thing he has left to lose: John.

Classified(s) by blueink3 (E, 36,153 w., 4 Ch. || Wedding Date AU || Fake Relationship, Jealous, PIning, H/C, Idiots in Love, Happy Ending, Mary is not Nice, Escort Service) – Clara's American father is the ambassador to some such territory that Great Britain probably used to own, but she (and Harry’s undying love for her) is the reason John is getting on a flight at 12:30pm, flying across the second largest ocean in the world, and pretending to be in a perfectly happy, healthy relationship with an undoubtedly perfectly coiffed stranger. See, Clara is not only American (and wealthy to boot), she's also best friends with John’s ex-fiancée. Whom she's placed in the wedding party. As Maid of Honor. And John just happens to be Best Man. Bloody brilliant.

The Boy Who Drank Stars by kinklock (E, 36,157 w., 4 Ch. || Howl’s Moving Castle AU || Witches and Wizards, Slow Burn, Magic, Jealous John, Happy Ending, Bed Sharing) – “I’m looking for a castle,” John informed the scarecrow. “A moving one.”Except that, as it turned out, it was not a moving one at all.

we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 36,420 w., 7 Ch. || A Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Prince Sherlock, Soldier John, Alternating POV, First Kiss, Bittersweet Ending, Homophobia, Dancing) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

Malediction by MapleleafCameo (M, 36,680 w., 11 Ch. || Ladyhawke AU || Magical Realism, Romance, Curses, Eventual Happy Ending) – Cursed to a half-life, John and Sherlock must fight the forces of evil to be reunited once again.

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

The Curious Adventure of the Drs. Watson by ShinySherlock (M, 40,883 w., 14 Ch. || BBC & ACD Fusion || Victorianlock, Time Travel / Magical Realism, Friends to Lovers, Love and Kissing, Romance, Body Swap) – What if ACD Watson and BBC Watson switched places... “Imposter!” Hands clenching the lapels of John’s coat, Holmes shoved him anew. “Yes!” John agreed, nodding, and then grimacing. “Sort of!”

The Soul Remembers by i_ship_an_armada (E, 43,636 w., 10 Ch. || Oblivion AU || Post-Apocalypse, Movie Fusion, Science Fiction, Action/Adventure, Angst, Dreams, Bittersweet Ending) – John Watson is the lone security repairman stationed on a desolate, nearly-ruined future Earth. His dreams are plagued by a tall, dark-haired man, and when his dreams meet reality, he will be forced to question everything he believes is the truth about his life.

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w., 15 Ch. || Notting Hill AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant -- but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

Perdition's Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, 63,435 w., 21 Ch. || Treklock AU, Est. Rel, Genetic Engineering, Angst & Fluff, BAMF!John) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe

This Thing All Things Devours by cypress_tree (E, 63,844 w., 15 Ch. || In Time AU || Science Fiction, Dystopian Universe, First Meetings, Action / Adventure, Romance) – In 2169, time is money—literally. Humans are genetically engineered to stop aging at 25, when the numbers on their arm start counting down from one year. When that time is up, they die. The only way to get more time is to earn it, borrow it, or steal it.John Watson lives day-to-day in the crowded slums of Zone 13. He never imagined living any differently—until he meets the practically-immortal Sherlock, and helps him on a case to track a local time-thief...

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w., 23 Ch. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) – Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school's Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

The Swan Triad Series by Pennin_Ink (T, 121,660 w. across 3 works || Swan Lake AU || Magical / Fairy Tale AU, Romance, Falling in Love, Pining, Psychological Torture, Transformation) – Sherlock and John grow up spending every summer together. Their mothers' attempts to play matchmaker only fuel their mutual resentment and scorn. But then, one summer.

Colors by Quesarasara (E, 140,537 w., 17 Ch. || Pleasantville-Inspired AU || Soulmates, Colour Bonds, Alternating POV, Angst, Fluff, Pining, Case Fic, Medical Procedures) – Everyone on earth is born with eyes that see in black, white, and an endless series of greys. When you meet your soulmate, you finally see the world in color. We're all searching for the person who brings color to our lives. John and Sherlock are no exception. Part 1 of The Colors 'Verse

Mise en Place by azriona (M, 161,004 w., 28 Ch. || Restaurant (Kitchen Nightmares) AU || Sherlock is Gordon Ramsay / Celebrity Sherlock, Restauranteur John, Harry Plays Prominent Role, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, Cranky Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn) – John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn't have much choice. There's only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes. Part 1 of Mise en Place

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court. Part 1 of the Care And Companionship series

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #crossover fics #sherlock au #fusion fics #Anonymous #long post #e-rated fics

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anjuschiffer · 5 years ago

Text

Amira Wayne - Chapter 12

An update?! Hell yeah! here’s Day 13 of @biodad-bruce-month event!

Chapter 12: Gifts and Flowers

P.Tag: @theatreandcomicfreak @damianette-is-life @toodaloo-kangaroo @elijahcrevan

Tag: @vixen-uchiha @we-want-mini-mini @ramos123 @bluesimani @redscarlet95 @greatcatblaze @promiswords @fantasiame @corabeth11 @anonymously-odd @alexandriamw @officiallydarkgeek

MASTERLIST | FIRST | PREV | AO3

November was finally here and Amira hated it.

“Is it really that cold?” Selina asked, watching Amira put on a jacket before boarding off the jet, wondering how she was able to change so quickly out of her costume from last night.

Her father insisted for the two of them to use the jet, much to Amira’s annoyance. She didn’t want to be seen using Wayne tech and even less be seen with his...lady. Throughout the entire flight, Amira had to sit in uncomfortable silence.

She felt as Selina judged her every movement.

“Sadly, something causes me to become weak towards the cold.” Amira muttered, pulling her suitcase behind her. “So where will you be staying?”

“With you.” Selina jokes, earning a glare. “Unless you have a better idea.”

Amira looked out into the distance as they awaited their cab, thinking of a decent place for Selina to stay but also a place where she can keep an eye on the Gotham thief.

“I might just know a place.”

“Dupain-Cheng. What are you doing here?” Chloé remarked, one hand on her hip while the other just hung by her side.

Out of all the people to entire her father’s hotel, Marinette was the last person she’d thought would ever step foot into it. After all, she was just a commoner. “And who's this?”

Chloe watched as the woman standing next to Marinette simply looked at her, her head tilting a bit to the side.

“Why hello to you as well Chloé.” Marinette spoke, Selina watching the two girls converse. “As for why I’m here, my father’s…friend needs a place to stay while in Paris.”

Chloé checked Selina from head to toe, scoffing at the slightly sheer black top with white leather jacket and white pants combo.

“Sure she can afford this hotel? After all, this is the best hotel-“

“I know Chloé. Don’t doubt it and hence why I referred Selina to this hotel.” Marinette said, wanting to roll her eyes. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t have brought her here.” Chloé huffed as she watched Marinette lead the woman to the front desk.

She watched as Marinette helped the lady fill out a few papers when the lady pulled out a black card from her wallet.

A black card…

Rushing to the desk, Chloé slammed her hands next to Marinette.

“Dupain-Cheng. Who is she?” Chloe asked, watching as the woman signed a paper.

“Oh? You don’t recognize her?” Marinette let a grin grace her face as she watched Chloe turn pink. “She’s Bruce Wayne’s fiancé, Miss Selina Kyle.”

“What?!”

“Amira, what did you do downstairs?” Selina asked, wondering what exactly happened between Amira and the other girl downstairs. She didn’t understand a word, but she knew something juicy happened. After all, the blonde girl quickly tried to converse with her, even when her English was heavily accented with French.

“That girl is in my class; she’s also the mayor's daughter. She just asked me how I know Gotham’s wealthiest man’s fiancé. I simply told her you were a family friend. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“How did you know I was engaged to your father?”

“Happened two nights ago while I was gathering a few more intel around a case of mine.” Amira confessed. “Amazed me to see how much trivial info my father had on you.”

“You’re a detective here then?”

“No comment.” Amira said, taking out a phone and handing it to Selina. “Take this.”

“What’s it for?” Selina asked, turning up the phone and seeing an odd app on it. The app icon was a ladybug, Selina not recognising it. Perhaps a Parisian thing?

“Your other phone doesn’t work here and this phone is especially programmed to help you go to safety whenever-“

Screams in the streets interrupted the two, Selina watching Amira drag her hands down her face.

Amira quickly went to the television and turned on the news, sighing when she saw Jagged Stone on the news. Selina watched as she huffed and cursed under her breath.

“How the hell did he, of all people, get akumatized?”

“Akumatized? Amira-“

“Selina. Whatever you do, don’t leave this room. And before you ask, yes my father knows about this and no, I don’t need help. Tikki, Spots On!”

Selina watched as Amira was engulfed in red and was now in the same outfit she had when they first met, the only difference being that her jumpsuit was covered in black polka dots.

Selina watched as Amira sprinted for the window, noticing how Amira’s hair was longer.

“Stay safe out there.” She decided to say, not missing the way Amira stiffened when she was on top of the railing, ready to jump off.

Amira turned around to look at Selina before fleeing, using her yo-yo to get away.

“LB! Welcome back!” Chat grinned, Ladybird giving him a nod in acknowledgement once she arrived at the scene of the attack.

The two parted from each other when Guitar Villain sent a sound wave towards them, Ladybird thanking Tikki for allowing her to see the magic. If it weren’t for the miraculous, who knows if she was going to be able to dodge the attacks.

“What caused him to get akumatized?” Ladybird rolled away from the next attack, cursing as another one followed shortly after the first.

“Dunno! Something relating to his guitar I’m guessing!” Chat shouted from across the street, using his staff to propel himself away from another wave.

Ladybird sighed as she pulled herself up a building, gasping when she saw- “A dragon! You’ve got to be kidding me!” Chat pouted.

“Chat! We don’t have- fire straight ahead!” Ladybird shouted, quickly hiding behind a car, feeling the heat fly past her.

“LB! Please tell me you have a plan here! I don’t exactly want to become that dragon’s dinner! I’m too young to die!” Chat shouted, dramatically placing his hand over his forehead.

Ladybird groaned, looking at the akumatized Fang and rock star on the Eiffel Tower. She watched as Guitar Villain landed, Ladybird noticing a set up there.

“I might just have one.”

Throwing her lucky charm into the air, Ladybird watched as the ladybugs returned everything to before the akuma attack, Chat trying to catch one of them. Despite knowing he could never grab one, he just adored challenging the idea.

“Missed you LB! Glad to have you back!” Chat said with a grin, Ladybird huffing when she saw his fist directed towards her. She fist bumped it back, knowing that if she didn’t, he’d complain about it.

“Not glad to be back, but I’ll be lying if I said I didn��t miss being here.” Ladybird looked at the darken skyline, not believing that it took hours to take down Guitar Villain. One of their longest fights yet.

“Think you’re up for some training? And how was your trip?” Chat asked shyly, wondering if she would ignore his question and would want to train. To his surprise, he found LB yawning.

“Let’s call it a night. I started to feel the jetlag and then had to fight a Victim as soon as I arrived? Not exactly the best state to spar. However, we will spar tomorrow if there isn’t an akuma.”

Ladybird looked over at Chat. “However, I hope that just because I wasn’t here to see you, you still kept up with our regular training sessions.” She noticed the way he jumped at that. “We’re going to be doing double the work if it turns out you skipped.”

“But LB!”

“No buts!” Ladybird stifled another yawn, a growl from her stomach following up. “Seems like that's my cue. See you tomorrow at the usual.”

“Fine.” Chat huffed. “Rest well!” Chat yelled out as he watched Ladybird disappear into the skyline, hoping she got home safe.

Little did he know that he wasn’t going to see her until a few days later.

Adrien couldn’t help but notice something was off with Marinette that morning, catching her dozing off during class various times.

He watched as Alya tried to wake her up but then stopped when her efforts were in vain. She had tried to wake up the girl all throughout the morning, but only successfully got her to open her eyes during chemistry. But shortly after that class was done, Marinette went straight back to sleep.

Soon, lunch came, Alya quickly leaving the room to go somewhere with some of the other girls in the classroom. Seeing an opportunity, Adrien quickly went to her, wondering how he should wake her up.

“Marinette. Psst! Marinette.”

When she didn't budge, Adrien decided to sit next to her, feeling eyes on him.

Despite it already being three months into the school year, Adrien and Marinette have yet to make any other friends besides themselves. Everyone in the class was too cautious about them; Adrien was friends with Chloe while Marinette shut herself from everyone else.

“Adrikins, what are you doing?” Chloe asked, then noticing Marinette dozing off next to him. “Is she alright?” Chloe asked, whipping-

“Did you...did you cut your hair?” Adrien pointed out, surprised to see Chloe’s hair not only out of the ponytail she usually wore it in, but also a few inches shorter. Not only that, she wasn’t in her usual outfit, now wearing a yellow wool sweater and black trousers.

“What? Don’t like it? Pay for my next hair appointment!” Chloe pouted a bit, looking over at Marinette. “She never sleeps during class. Is she sick?” Seeing Chloe concerned was new to Adrien, but he didn’t let that bother him. Something was wrong with Marinette and they needed to know what it was.

The girl was always punctual and seemed immune to getting sick, even when everyone was getting sick due to the change in temperatures.

“Dunno. Just saw her dozing off during class, so I came to check her.”

“Let me see.” Chloe said, going over to Marinette and feeling her head, quickly retracting her hand and looking at Adrien with worried eyes.

“We have to take her to the nurse. She’s burning up.”

Her chest...it hurt. But the coldness enveloping her body felt even worse.

Amira woke up to find herself in her room, feeling colder than usual. She curled into herself, pulling the covers closer to her.

Why was it so damn cold?

“Amira. Amira, can you hear me?” She heard Selina call out to her.

“It’s... cold.” Amira barely managed to say. “It’s...too cold.”

“Amira, it’s 21 Celsius today.”

“So why does it feel so damn cold?” Amira let out a whine as she turned over to face Selina, noticing the red corners of Selina’s eyes.

“Amira, we already took you to a doctor, but they couldn’t find anything wrong with you. I called your father-” Amira sat up.

“Why did you-” Amira felt off-balanced, quickly tumbling back to her side, feeling her chest compress before letting out a raspy cough. That cough then launched her into a coughing fit.

“Amira! Amira!” Selina began to panic, wondering what to do. What can she even do? She continued to watch Amira cough, desperately gasping at her chest.

Just last night, Selina saw Amira just fine, healthy. The next thing she knew, she was getting a phone call that afternoon from a panicking Sabine, rambling how she was about to take Amira to the ER.

Two of her classmates found it odd that she had fallen asleep during her morning classes and didn’t suspect much until they had to wake her up. That’s when they felt the fever, her body hot to the touch, causing the two teens to take her to the nurse’s office. The nurse found nothing off, not even feeling the warmness on Amira’s skin, although she did say it felt a bit cold to the touch.

Everything was alright, they told Sabine.

But Sabine knew better than that and took Amira straight to another doctor, who also found nothing wrong.

Sabine then reached out to Selina if she knew anything about Amira’s health, in which Selina said no. That ended up in Selina calling Bruce as the two women took Amira to a private doctor, where they too found nothing wrong with Amira.

Lucky for Amira, Bruce wouldn’t pick up, Selina suspecting he was either at WE or doing something else.

But she wished he did because as soon as she hung up, Amira started to burn up. Selina panicked, not knowing what to do.

She’s taken care of a few sick children before, but that’s because the doctor knew what to do, so it was a matter of following directions. But this? No one knew what was going on with her…no one knew what was causing her to burn and violently cough...

Or at least she didn’t think anyone knew.

A knock came from the bedroom door, Selina quickly going over to open up the hatch.

There, emerging from the hatch was an elder man.

“Hello there Miss. My name is Fu, Wang Fu. A friend of mine told me about your daughter’s illness and asked me to see what I can do about it.”

While Selina didn’t exactly like the idea of this man barging into the situation, something told her to trust him.

“Please. Please, help her.

Tikki circled around Master Fu’s room, wondering if she did the right thing. Of course she did. After all, no one else would have been able to cure Amira’s sickness. After all, it’s all Tikki’s fault.

She should’ve known better to have kept letting Amira use the miraculous aside from akuma fights.

She knew the dangers of using a miraculous and yet…

Tikki let out a sob, wondering why she didn’t warn Amira, why she couldn’t muster the courage to tell Amira how a Miraculous corrupts a person who wasn’t a true wielder. Especially if the user was the complete opposite of the miraculous given to them.

Just as Tikki had enough of waiting and wanting to go and apologize to her, she felt the room shake, Tikki quickly flying towards the nearest window, only to hear screams coming from the streets. She watched as people were blasted with pixelated beams, disappearing before her eyes.

An akuma?!

“No, no, no!” Why now? Why now when Amira wasn’t here! When she was suffering and on the brim of the worst.

Tikki began to fly around, circling the room, each lap getting quicker when she came to halt and eyed the gramophone across from her.

The gramophone was right there...in her reach...

Master Fu would forgive her, wouldn’t he?

After all, someone needed to defend Paris alongside Chat.

“I just had to get blasted after pushing Chloe away, didn’t I?” Adrien huffed. “Come on LB. Where are you?” Adrien muttered, walking in the white abyss he was casted off to.

“About that.” Plagg decides to speak, seeing Adrien look at him worriedly. “Spots might not be coming to the fight.” Plagg gulped when Adrien grabbed him.

“What do you mean by that? What do you mean she won’t be coming? There’s-”

“Before the akuma, Tikki -that’s LB’s Kwami- came to warn me about LB.” Plagg started. “How she might have to sit out for a few akumas.”

“Sit out?” Adrien whispered. “What happened to her? What’s wrong with Ladybird?!”

“That’s the thing kid. We don’t know what’s wrong with her. Only Master Fu would know, which is probably what he’s doing now.”

“Master Fu?”

“Right, you don’t know him. Didn’t think you’d have to know about him/” Plagg confessed. “He’s the one who guards the Miraculous, the one who chose you for the Cat Miraculous. He’s the one who’s trying to figure out what’s wrong with LB.”

“But if LB is out, who-“

“Don’t know kid. I honestly don’t know.” Plagg provided, knowing it wasn’t the thing to tell Adrien.

They needed to get away from here to help take down the Victim, but to do that, they needed someone from the outside.

But just as the two wondered what was to become of them, they were released from their photo prison, seeing another Miraculous Holder.

They watched as a yellow and black uniformed holder stood proudly against the latest Victim.

“My name is Queen Bee and I’m going to make sure you’re going down, Pixelator!”

“I told you, I was fine. I didn’t need you to save me.” Queen Bee told Chat as she looked at the akuma she held delicately in her hands. The thing was paralyzed and as long as she didn’t let it land in her, she should be fine. Or at least, that’s what Pollen told her.

As soon as she was pushed away from harm’s way, Chloe dashed back to the hotel and ran to her room, sliding against the door, wondering what she could. She had to help Adrien, to keep the akuma distracted until Ladybird or Chat to arrive. She needs help in some way.

As Chloe wandered around her room, her eyes landed on her bed, where a tiny hexagon chapped box laid alone. Taking it and cautiously opening it, Chloe dropped it when a yellow orb came out of it.

The orb turned into a creature that resembled a large bee, something Chloe wanted to squish but didn’t when it introduced itself and told her about having to help Ladybird and Chat.

Pollen explained to Chloe how to transform and how to use her weapon, giving her the run down before Chloe yelled “Pollen! Buzz on!” Chloe watched as she was soon in a skintight suit, a yellow jacket with black fur on it. Can she say that she fell in love with the high heel boots Pollen blessed her with?

Once transformed, she headed towards Pixelator, attempting to take him down, only resulting in her losing the sensation in her leg and her left arm.

She eventually had to make a deal with Pixelator, telling him that she’ll give him her miraculous if he freed half of the people then and there, which he did.

Seems like Chat was among those people, seeing as he gave Queen Bee a chance to scoot away when he started to attack him.

The fight lasted a few minutes before Chat destroyed the visor around Pixelator’s head, the akuma flying out before Queen Bee immobilized it. Despite having it frozen, Queen Been couldn’t exactly purify it, having to keep it with her until Ladybird made an appearance.

Only she can purify an akuma.

“A ‘thank you’ would’ve been nice.” Chat mumbled, watching as Queen Bee placed the akuma into a special container that was alongside the box that held the miraculous given to her.

“By the way, where’s Ladybird? I can’t exactly-”

“She’s sick.” Chat admitted.

“Sick? Is that even-“

“Something happened to her and her miraculous that caused her to become sick.” Chat filled in, watching Queen Bee gape.

“Her miraculous?” Queen Bee looked at the akuma in her hand.

“I don’t know what’s going on nor how to search for her. All we can do now is keep fighting these akumas until she returns. Until she gets better, we can’t allow Paris to keep getting destroyed as it did today.”

“But!”

“Bee. I wish I knew what was going on. Really, I do. But all we can do is wait. Now, come on. I’ll drop you off somewhere close to where you live. After all, I can’t know your identity as you can’t learn mine.”

“She should stay in bed for the next two days. Don’t you dare let her get out of it.” Selina listened as Fu warned her.

After two hours, Fu was able to diagnose Amira’s illness, creating a concoction of some sorts to help reduce her fever and raging cough. “If she exerts herself too much, she will get worse. Continue to give her the medicine every six hours. It will help with her fever and coughing. With that said, I wish for a speedy recovery.”

“Thank you very much.” Selina said, giving Amira’s hand a squeeze. The entire time Fu analyzed Amira’s condition, Selina couldn’t let go of her hand. Something made her believe that if she did, something bad might happen to the girl.

“No need to thank me. I’m only doing my duty.”

Selina watched as Fu left, looking over to Amira, watching as sweat slid down her face. Her breaths were a bit longer than earlier, but definitely an improvement.

Just who was he? How did he know what was wrong with her despite no one else knowing? Not like it mattered.

“You’re going to be okay.” Selina said, pressing her head against Amira’s. “You’re going to be fine.”

Marinette didn’t come to school the next day, Adrien worried.

“You’re ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous!” Chloé exclaimed, Adrien snapping away from his thoughts as he turned to look at his friend. He frowned upon seeing her arm wrapped in bandages.

During yesterday’s attack, it seems like Chloe still ended up injured, her arm and leg bruised. While Chloe said it didn’t hurt, Adrien knew better than to ignore the redness in Chloe’s eyes.

She was in pain.

“Chloé, what exactly are you talking about?”

“She’s talking about how you can’t stop worrying over Marinette.” Sabrina elaborated, glad to see Chloé was pleased with her timing. All day yesterday, Sabrina hated the screams that came from Chloe’s room when she was getting her injuries checked over. Sabrina hated that her friend was in pain and she couldn’t do anything about it. “You kept staring at her seat throughout the entire morning.”

At that, Adrien found himself trying to come up with an answer, but none came out. Was he really staring?

“If you’re that worried about her, just come with me to her home later.” Chloe stated, looking at her nails, hating that her hand was shaking. Yesterday’s attack really did a number on her.

“I thought you weren’t her friend?” Adriend asked, Chloé letting out a scoff.

“As class president, I have to go over and drop off any assignments she missed. Of course, I usually like to-“

“I’ll go with you then!” Adrien chirped, giving Chloé his signature smile. “You will let me go with you, right?”

Chloé tried to avert her gaze, but she knew better than to ignore Adrien’s puppy eyes.

“Ugh, fine! But you better find a way for-“

“Thank you Chloé!”

“How are you doing Amira?” Selina asked her, Amira looking at her with clouded eyes. Following her line of sight, Selina watched as Amira looked at her monitors from her makeshift bed.

Yes, Amira has an actual bed, but Selina wasn’t on board with having Amira climb stairs every time she needed to go back to bed. So after doing a bit of hunting, Selina got Amira a new bed to have on the main level of her bedroom.

“Not as cold as yesterday if you’re wondering.” Amira started. “But I can feel my body tremble and I hate it. I also hate that you’re acting as if I can’t look after myself.”

“Well, you are sick.” Selina pointed out, turning off the news about yesterday’s incident.

“I used to get sick before too. At first, Grandpere and Bruce used to look after me. Then just Grandpere because Bruce would be too busy to check on me...and then myself. I didn’t want to continue to be a burden to Grandpere. He already did so much for us and I didn’t want him to get sick, so I told him to stop looking after me.”

Selina watched as Amira stared at the ceiling. “To be honest with you, I don’t like you Selina. Or maybe that’s just my uneasiness speaking. Or perhaps...jealousy. ”

“Uneasiness? Jealousy? Amira, there’s nothing-“

“There is.” Amira looked at Selina, her finger pointing at her. “You know more of my father than I will ever know. You know him both in and out of that damned cowl. I only know of Father, not Bruce Wayne nor Batman.

The media and cameras could only inform me so much.” Amira looked back at her ceiling, feeling her chest tighten. “You’re always there with him while I’m just kept behind locked do-“

“Dupain-Cheng! You should know better than to not inform the school- Mlle Kyle!” Chloé squeaked when she noticed Selina, quickly changing from French to English. Chloe quickly entered the room, Adrien following her shortly after. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“It’s alright. I was going to leave aways“ Selina said, seeing Amira scowl upon seeing the other teens in her room. “I’ll be right downstairs if anything happens.” She told Amira.

Selina fought against the tug that demanded her to stay. But Selina knew better than that. She knew better than to stay and listen to whatever it was the teens had to say to themselves. But then again, she had no right to stay in the room.

She wasn’t her mother after all, nor a parental figure for that matter.

So, she left.

Marinette watched as Selina left her side, now looking at the two rich kids in front of her.

Who was she kidding? She was one herself too.

“What are two doing here?” Marinette asked, sitting up, feeling her body protest to lay back down. She noticed the tiny bruises covering Adrien’s arms and the bandages around Chloe’s arm.

Guilt began to gnaw at her mind.

“As class president, I came to drop by school work you missed. It’s ridiculous how you managed to-“

“Chloé.” Adrien growled.

“We came by to see how you’re doing.” Chloe admitted.

“You came to see me?” Marinette asked, surprised to see Chloe starting to change after their conversation from days ago...or has it been a few weeks?

“Of course!” Adrien chirped. “Isn’t that what friends do?”

“Friends?”

“See? She doesn’t even-“ Chloe started.

“When did we ever become friends?” Marinette asked. “As far as I know, I simply find the two of you tolerable. Better than those other kids in the class.”

She guessed those were the wrong choice of words since Adrien grinned and Chloé huffed, turning her head to the side while her cheeks were tinted pink.

“Well, I think the same applies to you, Dupain Cheng. You’re very tolerable and easy to work with. Although I have to ask, where’s my thanks?”

“Excuse-“

“Me and Adrien were the ones to take you to the school nurse despite Cesaire first knowing about you not being in your right mind. The idiot didn’t realize you were burning up.” Chloe decided to say, looking at Marinette with worry.

“I guess I do owe you my gratitude.” Marinette said, giving Chloe a small smile. “Thank you.”

“As you should. You’re lucky I helped to grace you with my kindness even though your closet could use a few colors.” Chloe said, internally smiling.

“As if that blue eyeshadow did you any favors.” Chloé gasped at Marinette’s statement.

“I’ll have you know-“

Adrien watched as the two girls bickered, as if they were two old friends catching up.

He looked out towards the Parisian skyline wondering the whereabouts of Ladybird and if she was alright.

After an hour or two, Amira bid Chloe and Adrien goodbye, Amira now staring at her phone, Adrien and Chloe’s names looking right back at her.

Two more names to her small list of names.

“Amira! You’re alright!” Tikki cried, Amira feeling her crash into her cheek.

“And where were you?” She felt Tikki tense, watching as the tiny god moved away from her. “I get not wanting to be seen, but not watching me from afar-“

“I’m sorry. This is all my fault.” Tikki sat in front of Amira, looking at her with her watery eyes. “I should have warned you about the Miraculous and it’s dangers-“

“I already knew.” Amira confessed, Tikki looking up at her in horror. “I already knew I wasn’t fit for the Ladybug Miraculous. During my first transformation, it felt like it was rejecting me.” Tikki looked away in shame. “Even when I knew I wasn’t meant for it, I kept pushing myself and trained with the miraculous on. I wanted it to accept me. For you to accept me.”

“But I do accept you Amira. I trust-“

“Yet you’re afraid of me.” Amira cut off. “That’s why you hesitated to tell me. You trusted me enough to talk about the miraculous, of bringing the Guardian to me to heal me, but you were afraid of what I might do if you told me I wasn’t your best option, weren’t you?”

That’s right.

Master Fu had told Tikki that Amira wasn’t her true holder. She was just the better one between his last two options.

“Did you really figure that out on your own?” Tikki asked. “So why? Why do you still-“

“Because I made a promise to you. To everyone in Paris. I vowed to protect them, no matter what. If it costs me my life, so be it.” Amira looked at her hands, watching as her hands morphed to her smaller ones. Small hands that held a blank name tag that laughed at her. “I rather die as the vigilante who protected Paris than the hidden Wayne child.”

Tikki’s frown warbled, quickly throwing herself to Amira, not bothering to tell her about the person who stood right below the hatch that led to the room.

“I’m sorry Amira. I’m so sorry!”

“It’s alright Tikki. It’s alright.”

Another akuma showed up that night, taking Amira by surprise when she awoke from the trembling outside her room.

She watched as hundreds of tiny gremlin-looking...gremlins took over the streets of Pari. Sapoti -if Amira remembered correctly- they were called.

There was never an akuma during the night. So why now, of all-

“He knows I can’t fight right now, Tikki. He knows I’m down and he’s taking advantage of that. I have to go help.” Amira firmly announced, getting out her bed and started to change into something more comfortable than her sweaty pajamas before calling on the transformation.

“Amira, you can’t. Master Fu-“

“He’s trying to make us play all of our cards. If Chat and Bee can’t take this akuma down -although hopefully they do- then we’ll be forced to-wait! Bee’s still injured! I have to-”

“Amira. Trust them. Just like you trust me.” Tikki softly said, putting her paw on Amira’s cheek. “They can do this. You can’t, even if you wanted to. If you ran to try and defeat this akuma, then you’ll be falling right into his plan. You’re going to give him an opportunity to get the Ladybug in this condition you’re in if you go now. So listen to me and believe in them. They’ll defeat this Victim. Just watch.”

And they did…

“But why did they have to bring another miraculous out! That’s exactly what Hawkmoth wanted!”

“Amira, they-”

“They gave him the information he wanted about the miraculouses and-”

“Rena Rouge’s siblings were the victims this time around.” Tikki cut off, watching as Amira turned quiet. “She begged Chat Noir and Queen Bee to let her help in any way possible, especially when she saw Bee still heavily injured from the last attack... but she wanted to save her family.”

Tikki watched as Amira dazed out, the girl looking out the window next to the stair that led to her bed and skylight. Tikki noticed Amira staring at the daisies that she had found growing in the cracks of the outwalls of the apartment.

Daisies that Amira always tended to despite not having any plants of her own, daisies that Amira decided to plant into a pot and care for.

Tikki watched as Amira cradled a flower between her fingers, Amira carefully caressing the petals.

She watched as Amira grabbed an old looking device, dialing a number.

“Chat, I want you to meet me at the rendezvous. Bring Queen Bee with you.”

Chat watched as Queen Bee twirled one of her hair strands, Bee biting her cheek as she did so.

“Relax Bee. Ladybird-”

“I can’t relax! I’m meeting Ladybird! My idol!” Queen Bee said, grabbing Chat by his bell. “Don’t you understand?! She might-”

“Ladybird! Aren’t I glad you’re doing well!” Chat exclaimed, Ladybird noticing how his ears perked upon seeing her.

“Thank you for your concern, but I’d prefer if you’d lower your voice. I have yet to completely recover.”

“Right. Sorry.” Chat sheepishly said, before remembering why they were there. “Oh! This is Queen Bee! She’s-”

“I know who she is, Chat. I watched the fight.”

Chat watched as Ladybird eyed Queen Bee, circling around her as she did. Chat noticed how Queen Bee was silent, stiff as Ladybird judged her.

“Chat. What are your opinions on her?”

“She’s a bit on the stubborn side and a bit on the unfocused side, but she’s an excellent partner. Barely have to tell her what to do when we’re apart.”

“So she just needs a bit of guidance?” Ladybird asked, now standing in front of Queen Bee.

“Essentially.”

“Have you brought her to the training grounds yet?”

They had a training area?

“No.” Chat quickly responded.

“Good.” Ladybird stated, watching Queen Bee pale.

Were they going to take her miraculous back? Was this the end of- “Do you have the akuma I told you to bring?”

“Y-Yes!” Queen Bee stuttered, reaching for the bag next to her foot and handing Ladybird the jar with the two akumas. “Here they are.”

Ladybird released the akumas, quickly capturing them. Carefully, she released the purified butterflies, Queen Bee watching them glow brightly against the night sky.

“Miraculous Ladybug!” Ladybird yelled, Queen Bee stunned as she watched millions of ladybugs flying across the starless night, the tiny bugs becoming stars themselves. She watched as the tiny red bugs surrounded her and restored her arm and leg back, Queen Bee feeling tears well up to her eyes.

She held the urge to tackle Ladybird and thank her when she watched her stare at her with soft eyes.

Opening up her yo-yo, Chat and Queen Bee watched as LB took out a box, carefully wrapped in yellow paper with a black bow carefully placed on top. A daisy was tucked carefully under the bow.

Queen Bee watched as Ladybird handed it to her, watching as she found herself accepting it.

Looking up, Queen Bee found Chat smiling at her, Ladybird approaching her. Stretching out a hand, Ladybird smiled.

“Welcome to the team, Queen Bee. I look forward to working with you.”

#maribat #bio!dad bruce wayne month 2020 #bio!dadbrucewaynemonth2020 #b!dbwm2020 #amira wayne

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stvpidinlove · 4 years ago

Photo

[ NICHA YONTARARAK, SHE/HER, CIS WOMAN ] — [ KULAP SUWAN ] is a child of [ HECATE ] with the power of [ MYSTIOKINESIS ] . they were born in [ 1997 ] and have been in nemean lion since [ 2014 ] . with the change, they [ HAVE GRADUATED FROM ] the [ BUSINESS ] role which makes sense since they’re usually [ WORKING & STUDYING NEW SPELLS ] . if you’d like to meet them try the [ MOON ] building .

✨🔮 fairy gothic energy 🔮 ✨

BASICS

hometown: phuket, thailand

eye color: brown

hair color: brown

height: 5′5

sexuality: bisexual

birthday: march 19, 1997 ( pisces )

BIO

kulap’s father was working towards an mfa in fine arts in london when he met hecate. he’d lingered on “the night of enitharmon's joy” by william blake, a painting formerly known simply as hecate. he had a passing interest in greek mythology, but he struggled to find any hint of what he knew of the goddess in the work, aside from a single owl in the background.

he didn’t notice the woman standing next to him until she scoffed. she was eyeing the work even more studiously than himself, which led him to assume she was an artist, too. are you a student? he asked, and it took a moment for her to turn from the painting to look at him. no, i’m a subject she answered simply, and while she was referring to various pieces of art throughout history featuring her likeness, her answer was so vague that he had no idea what it meant. which only intrigued him further.

she struck him as cold, but not in a bad way, more like...there was a chasm between them which couldn’t be crossed, something deeper than the simple fact that she was beautiful and impeccably dressed and spoke in sentences so clipped he was never sure what she was really saying. but, much to his utter surprise, she accepted when he offered to take her out to lunch and discuss the piece further.

the fling was never much more than that -- he could tell she had no deeper investment in the relationship. which suited him fine, since he was only a guest in this country. she didn’t seem british to him, though he couldn’t pin her down as a resident of anywhere. he informed her of her pregnancy matter-of-factly, stating that they would be having a daughter, and shortly after she was born, the goddess vanished from him life.

before departing, she made sure he knew what it meant to have her child in his possession, about magic and monsters, even dyslexia and adhd. his program was almost over by this time, so soon after kulap was born, he returned home to thailand to raise her with the help of his family.

kulap’s father didn’t tell her right away that she was a demigod, but she always felt different from her cousins and friends. she had a somewhat eerie energy about her, she’d look at people for too long, ask odd questions in class. her magic started manifesting from a young age and once her father caught on, he did his best to make sure she was equipped to handle her powers. belief in magic is strong in thailand, so there was plenty of resources for kulap and as she grew into herself, she was no longer considers strange but advanced in her abilities. there was no doubt that the supernatural was on her side.

she could usually hold her own against monsters, but she worried about bringing harm to her family. so once nemean lion came to light in the states, it didn’t take long for her to read about it online, and she asked her father if she could move to california and continue her studies at nl. it was hard for him to let her go, but he wanted the best for her, and this seemed to be it.

originally, kulap started off on the standard track, but she soon became a regular at wicked kitty and wanted to own a similar business of her own one day, maybe even back home. their ideas of magic were a bit different, and she wanted to incorporate various methods into one store, whether that was in the states or thailand.

RANDOM FACTS

her Aesthetic is sort of ~goth vibez but she also loves pink and pastels and she often has pink or red hair. she alters her hair regularly using a simple illusionary spell, depending on her mood any given day.

she has an all-knowing energy lowkey even though she doesn’t have any precognitive abilities (though she does have a fondness for crystal balls). she also likes reading tarot cards and she has a large collection of herbs and plants in her apartment.

super just serene and unbothered tho idt her gifs lend to this so UHHH :)

kulap works at wicked kitty as a store manager which she really enjoys!

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

when i say my mind is Blank rn...

wicked kitty regulars ofc <3

mentees in the business track

#nlintro #𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴𝙳 𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁 ( 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐 ) * kulap #okay now i can focus on the event :) JKSDHJFD

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architectuul · 5 years ago

Text

FOMA 38: Five Examples of Sacral Architecture in Kaunas

In June 1940, Soviet army entered Lithuania. This was a beginning of a 50 year long occupation. Catholic Church was one of the biggest enemies of the Soviet Union. Because of atheist policy, churches and other sacral buildings of all confessions were being closed and turned into warehouses, sport halls and galleries, therefore ignoring their architectural and cultural heritage value.

The poster with the “Monumental Church of the Resurrection in Kaunas” from 1940s. | Photo via Lietuva Senose Fotografijose

A lot of valuables were stolen, but the largest damage for the buildings was done by the weigh of goods stored on wooden floors – it crippled the walls, meanwhile the humidity and rainwater which leaked through the holes in the roofs damaged the interiors of abandoned churches. [1]

St. Michael Archangel Church was transformed into the Gallery of Sculpture and Stained Glass. | Photo © Nacionalinis Čiurlionio dailės muziejus

A choice to turn a church into a warehouse is rather interesting, since a warehouse had a symbolic meaning in the Soviet Union. Some researchers believe that converting churches into warehouses “was not the abolition of the holy but, so to speak, its replacement. The warehouse is just as ideal an order in the material world as the church is in the spiritual world. The warehouse is a materialist church, but instead of collecting people who are seeking in prayer an exalted form of the soul, it houses a multitude of objects that have found a precise inventoried form.”[2]

Vilnius Cathedral Basilica in 1847 | Lithography via Katedra.lt

Nevertheless, according to various data from 1953 to 1959 nearly 15-20% of churches were closed while some of sacral buildings went through radical transformations. Vilnius Cathedral Basilica (1783) by Gucevičius was closed in 1949. During 1950 sculptures of saints, which were on the rooftop were removed and destroyed. Since the Cathedral was closed a lot of artifacts were stolen while the interior was ravaged. The Cathedral become part of the Museum of Art and was in1956 transformed into a gallery. The building was returned to the Catholic community in 1988.

A synagogue of Kulautuva constructed by Trakman (1935) was turned into the warehouse. In 1967−1968 the building was reconstructed and masoned, so that it could be used for a library and a cultural centre.

The original constructions of the synagogue were uncovered in 2016 and was due to its poor condition demolished. | Photo via autc

Kaunas and Kaunas District are well-known because of the modernist buildings that were built during the Interwar Period. Five examples of Kaunas modernism – five sacral buildings - that were pushed to the politics of the oblivion in the Soviet times and are celebrated as architectural and cultural heritage today will be presented in this edition of FOMA.

Christ’s Resurrection Church had a flat roof, what was not common for catholic churches at the time of construction. | Photos © Lukas Mykolaitis

The Christ’s Resurrection Church was designed by Karolis Reisonas in 1929 as a 82-meter tall spiral tower crowned by a 7 meter tall statue of Jesus Christ. However, this project was too pricey and not very well accepted by the people of Kaunas, therefore abandoned. A new project was inspired by modernist spirit and designed in 1932. It was believed that the new church would become a monument of XX century architecture because of its contemporary style, advanced construction and quality materials. Its size was also extraordinary and exceptional in the context of the Baltic States.

Local granite was used for the construction, and the window frames and doors were made of oak. | Photos © Lukas Mykolaitis

The construction of the church was complicated because of lack of funding. Therefore the community engaged in the collection of donations for the church. In 1938 the walls were masoned and the roof was covered in concrete. In the spring of 1940 main construction works were completed, but when Lithuania was occupied by the soviets, it stopped and the building was confiscated. During the second world war the church was used as a paper warehouse.

The inside of the church was reconstructed, adapting it to the needs of the Kaunas Radio Factory. | Photo © Kauno miesto muziejus

In 1952 a decision was made to turn the church into the Kaunas Radio Factory, later named Banga. The inside of the church was reconstructed, adapting it to the needs of the factory: three stories in the side naves and five stories in the central nave were constructed. Crosses were removed, the chapel was demolished and large industrial windows were installed.

During 1930s Vaclovas Michnevičius designed a neo-gothic church for the Evangelical and Reformed community in Kaunas and the project was not built since its design didn’t fit well with its surroundings.The other project designed by Karolis Reisonas represented current modernist trends with a flat roof, smooth shape and its functionality. Narrow vertical windows added greatness to the image of the relatively small church.

Evangelical and Reformed Church looks similar to Christ’s Resurrection, designed by same architect. | Photo © Skeivys, 1956, KTU ASI archive.

The Evangelical and Reformed Church was finished in 1940 and remained unused due to the Soviet occupation. The top part of the tower was torn down, the building was nationalised and turned into the warehouse for tobacco and alcohol manufacturers. Afterwards was given to the Ministry of Internal Affairs, which adapted it for the use of special school. When Lithuania regained its independence in 1990, most of the churches were given back to religious communities, however, this case was different: since the owner of the building was an educational institution, the rules of returning the property did not apply. For nearly 20 more years the Evangelical and Reformed Church in Kaunas was used as a sports hall and a canteen, until 2019 when the church was given back to the community.

The believers were allowed to pray on Sundays. | Photo Wikimedia

Pažėrai Sacred Heart Church, a masterpiece by Stasys Kudokas, was built in a small village of Pažėrai in Kaunas district. The construction started in 1936 and was funded by the catholic community. The construction of modernist red-brick building was interrupted during the Soviet occupation. In 1967 the function of Pažėrai Sacred Heart Church changed as it was given to a collective farm and used as a grain warehouse.

The church has two towers, with a high raised apse and the main space of the building is covered by a dome. | Photo © Lukas Mykolaitis, 2018

When Lithuania regained the independence, the church was returned to the congregation in 1991.The reconstruction began shortly afterwards and in 1997 the nearly-finished church was consecrated. The plan of the church in the form of a Greek cross has an unique, dynamic composition, and it is an example of rational modernist architecture.

Kaunas Mosque also known as Vytautas the Great Mosque is one of four remaining mosques in Lithuania. Its design reminds the mosques in Northern Africa, a compact, small-volume mosque combines historical forms with oriental motifs like an elliptical dome and a small minaret, which was never used for its traditional purpose.

Kaunas had a wooden mosque built in 1860. | Source postcard from 1940s

In 1941 the mosque was closed and robbed: its windows were smashed, carpets, furniture and ancient hand-written Quran were stolen. The ownership rights were transferred to Kaunas City Archive which turned the building into a warehouse. In 1986 the building became a library and a warehouse of M. K. Čiurlionis Museum of Art. During the soviet times murals were painted over and there are plans to recover the old murals by 2030 when the mosque will celebrate its 100 anniversary.

The mosque was returned to the Muslim community of Kaunas in 1989 and restored in 2007-2008. | Photo © Lukas Mykolaitis, 2017

Sacred Heart of Jesus Church in Šančiai neighborhood is a great example of modernist sacral architecture. The church is built of reinforced concrete, the nave is covered by supporting arches and the caisson shell. The exterior is minimalist and composed of regular geometric shapes: square front door and narrow rectangular windows.

During the war, the church was damaged, instead of stained-glass window a brick wall was built. | Photo © Justinas Stonkus, 2020

Kaunas2022 European Capital of Culture program Modernism for the Future tackles the questions of preservation, interpretation and dissemination of modernist heritage and promotes various initiatives by building owners, heritage community and cultural organizations.

[1] R. Čepaitienė. Vilniaus bažnyčių likimas sovietmečiu (1944-1990). Liaudies kultūra, 2002/5 (86), p. 32-37.

[2] M. Epstein. Russo-Soviet Topoi. The Landscape of Stalinism: The Art and Ideology of Soviet Space.ed. E. Dobrenko, E. Naiman. University of Washington Press, 2011, p. 301.

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#FOMA 38: Ugne Marija Andrijauskaite

Ugne Marija Andrijauskaite is a historian, who investigates social and cultural history of XX century Lithuania. In 2017 she defended her PhD thesis, which investigated urban workers and organized labour movement in interwar Lithuania. Currently she is working at Kaunas2022 European Capital of Culture program Modernism for the Future. The goal of the program is to awaken responsibility for the environment that surrounds us and create an emotional connection with the urban landscape and culture.

#foma #forgotten masterpieces

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angelicjadamv · 4 years ago

Text

The story so far

One month after graduating high school in 2015 I was finally able to move away from my family. I was 18 and moved to California for college. Fortunately one of the scholarships I earned was accompanied by a summer program that started in the middle of the summer before fall semester. Shortly after settling in a safe, stable environment for the first time in my life I started to get better. A lot better at first. Then life happened, as it does, and 18 years of repressed trauma and abuse broke me. My nervous breakdown ruined my fall semester, I couldn't go to classes or take exams or function as a student anymore. Until this point, being an exceptional student was all I had and basically how I survived. My safe and stable environment now was dependant on maintaining a certain GPA, among other requirements I could no longer meet. I failed one of my main courses because I had a 0 on 2 exams, including the final. When I went home I was put on antipsychotics. Returning to campus for the 2016 spring semester, I attempted to seek more therapy. I wasn't successful in finding a good therapist (for me, therapy is a personal thing. Just because someone isn't a good therapist for me doesn't necessarily mean they are a bad therapist). I did continue to see my 2 psychiatrists (emergency and regular) often as they attempted to adjust my medication to find something that work. My agoraphobia worsened, I stopped sleeping, I could barely eat, I was manic one moment and dissociative the next, SH and suicidal ideation worsened. I was a burden to my friends and loved ones. I made it through this because I had a beautiful support system that I will forever be grateful for, but I ended up taking a leave of absence academically for my second semester, earning no credits and putting my scholarships at further jeopardy. I was allowed to stay on campus because it was clear I was dangerously unstable with no safe environment to return to and because I had incredible advocates looking out for me. I had realized that I wasn't going to get better in time to salvage my academic career and my life, and was mostly clueless as to how I would survive. I had had an internship in my field since I started college, but I earned basically no money. STEM internships aren't really made to be livable for undergrads, so I had mostly been working for experience in a field I would no longer be able to progress in. Bummer. My physical health had taken a huge dive for all of 2016. I basically always knew I was chronically ill, but I had been abused and gaslit my entire life to believe and act like I was fine, I was just a weak baby, I didn't know what real pain or suffering was, seizures were to be ignored, no I didn't have migraines or pinched nerves (um hello SCOLIOSIS), etc etc. And 2016 was the year my body finally started to break, so I knew "regular" jobs weren't going to be a viable option for me, at least not for long.

And thus I became a survival SW. I stayed in college for a final semester, because I didn't want to miss my friends, I loved my campus and didn't know where else to live, I still needed a lot of campus resources. I also kept my internship as long as I could, because I knew I would miss it for the rest of my life. I didn't really go to classes, again, because as much as a desperately wanted to and as much as my advisors moved heaven and earth to try to make it work for me, I couldn't handle it. I was finally able to find 2 great therapists who I started seeing regularly who actually knew how to diagnose and treat me, one at school and one outside. This is also when I met Daddy (Jace) online. After talking for what is probably a stupidly short time, we fell in love and started dating. This is honestly my first real relationship and time actually catching genuine feelings for someone, something that I hadn't thought I was capable of. Despite being happier than I had ever been in so many ways, my mental and physical health was still steadily declining. My migraines and pain were getting worse, I hadn't been able to eat normally in months and relied entirely on medication to eat or sleep at all. Many people recommended mmj at this point in my life, but I was afraid of how it would interact with my other meds. I only smoked occasionally at parties at this point (because no way was I spending my super duper limited money on weed). I wonder if medicating with something that actually worked well for me, like weed, would have allowed me to finish college. Oh well I guess. Because of my inability to attend classes, I had to take another leave for the fall semester 2016. I worked at a strip club briefly, but my health couldn't handle it for long.

I didn't want to go home for the first winter break in 2015, but campus closed and I had nowhere else to go. It was turbulent. When summer 2016 came, I still didn't go home despite having no place to stay. Until a month or so later, it was revealed to me a relative had terminal cancer. I had to go home again. It was worse than turbulent. When winter 2016 came, my relative was in much worse condition. They only had a few months left, and this was probably my last chance to say goodbye. This visit was by far the most traumatic, and more because of my parents than watching a loved one die. At least Jace was able to come meet me for the first time in person. He also got to meet my relative before they passed 🖤

Freshly fucked up by family, I retuned to California at the beginning of 2017. I was mostly taking a break from SW because of my health and was working vanilla jobs as I could (so not much). I had a pretty decent job that I was really good at and had been promoted, but then my relative passed. I started losing consciousness again ( I had many seizures and fainting spells in my childhood and during high school) and had to quit my job. the funeral was in spring 2017, I flew to Jersey to be with Daddy for a few days and then he drove me several states over for the memorial. That was the last time I saw my family. I wanted to transition to online/content creating, but I had no tech knowledge or equipment (even my phone was a potato). In high school I wasn't allowed to have a smartphone, most social media other than what was heavily monitored (and still had 0 experience with platforms sw is popular on besides Tumblr I guess), I didn't really know much about cameras. Way too sheltered and broken to feel like I could start anything. I was now seeing my outside, or I guess regular and only, therapist twice a week and doing treatments that while working for me were insanely (literally) hard. I had been able to get an apartment with roommates at a super discount in return for taking care of their crazy dog, which was a win win for me (he was a good boi just crazy from a bad past and had the worst separation anxiety). The agreement was that I would live with them until the lease was up in September, and then we would reevaluate the situation. Then they both got promoted at their mega corporation jobs. And after their wedding found a really gorgeous apartment in a much fancier part of the city, and paid to break our lease early in June leaving me homeless. I had been fired from my last 2 jobs (probably for being disabled because California is at will employment but who knows I might have been fired from the nanny job because the husband wanted to fuck me). I had no money or anywhere to go. All of my friends were almost as broke as me, so while I had offers to couchsurf at a few of their places they had other roommates who would have been pissed and in a few months they would be going back to school anyways. Daddy and I had been trying to save up to move in together for months, but he was going to move to California. We didn't have any money for that, so instead he asked me to move in with him in New Jersey. Leaving meant I lost my health insurance and my therapist. It was supposed to be much more temporary and we were supposed to move back to California much sooner than we were able to. I try not to be mad at those roommates because being angry doesn't change anything, but it really sucked.

Moving in with Daddy meant we could start our blog! And I was super happy at first, the happiest I could ever remember. But the years had been too hard and my health started to get worse than ever before. Without treatment and so traumatized, my brain and body were constantly at war. I would wake with splitting migraines, throwing up, my chronic pain became completely unmanageable. I started to need weed all the time because it was the only thing that stopped my cyclical vomiting episodes and kept me out of the hospital. My antipsychotics and other meds had been high-key fucking me up (probably shouldn't have been on them in the first place, thank you doctor who also ignored my seizures even when I had one in front of you) and were almost impossible to come off of because the withdrawals. (Seriously, kicking xanax was easier for me than my antipsychotics.) I'm not anti medication or anything, I just know the ones I was on were not good for me anymore. I'd actually like to be on something again, I just need a doctor who actually understands PTSD and DID.

My health continued to be shit for most of 2018, with several ER visits for severe dehydration from vomiting for days on end. We started to make videos and do snapchat and online sessions to be able to make ends meet. Despite being in the worst situation and thus everything being a trizillion times harder, we really loved (and still love 😇) doing SW and creating content. Our fans and clients have been there in some of our darkest moments, just being lovely or pulling through for us when we needed it most. During 2018 and 2019 I became actively suicidal for the first time since I was 13. I struggled with self harm again. I have gotten worse than I ever thought possible. But I wouldn't have made it at all if it wasn't for SW, this community and our supporters.

At the beginning of 2020 we were finally able to move back to California. Obviously, the pandemic severely disrupted many of our plans, especially regarding my recovery. Despite things being delayed or shifted, we are in a much better place currently. I have what I need to get better and I can build a support system again. I will get better.

Talking about things is hard for me. Being open and honest is hard for me. For 18 years I was trained and abused to not be sad or show negative feelings, or talk about upsetting things, and it has been killing me slowly my entire life. I genuinely don't want pity or to make others feel bad, but I do want to give you the chance to get to know me. I don't always talk about things so much. But I'm trying to get better at it.

#angelicjada #oc #about jada

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