#with 80s porno music

[t3acupz]

i’m convinced they only made this movie to film soft core porn of hugh dancy

[animutate]

sexplosion by my life with the thrill kill kult

[little-peri-quite-contrary]

The search for “Ulterior Motives” has got to be the funniest fucking shit ever. Lost Media being found is either lowkey underwhelming (i.e.: Someone had a recording of the thing and just dumped it online) or the most insane shit ever AND I’M SO GLAD THIS WAS THE LATTER

All of the made up scenarios people kept imagining AND IT’S FROM A PORNO!

People were pouring over old commercials and jingles, trying to match the sound to any known bands, reaching out to obscure artists and music archivists/collectors around the world in the hopes of finding it, and then someone went “Hey this might be by these two guys who made songs for pornos in the 80s” AND THEY WATCHED ALL THE FILMS AND THEY WERE RIGHT

I cannot WAIT for the update videos from all the Lost Media YT channels, as well as the legitimate version of the song (one of the artists got interviewed and said he’d try and find the original track and upload it).

This was a good search folks, pack it up!

[am-i-interrupting]

Hey!! I wanted to request a match up for my oc/self insert Jamie, I’d like nsfw (if you want) I don’t want Vaggie, Charlie, and Niffty if possible. He’s extremely friendly and bubbly, but still very protective and willing to put up a fight if he needs to, he’s a sinner with bunny characteristics (tail and ears) and small retractable white wings. Pronouns are he/him, hes transmasc but regarding sexuality he’s unlabelled (due to them being from the 80s and not having it really figured it out to avoid homophobia.) He has adhd, depression, and anxiety. His fashion taste tends to be more formal like buttons ups with vests but still being a bit colourful in a mad hatter from the Tim Burton film sort of way. He was a figure skater when alive and reads a lot. He shows affection by (love language) physical touch and words of affirmation. Listens to a lot of classical music but some rock music as well. He has a surreal sense of humour and tends to make jokes at his own expense.

Your Match Up Is. . .

Velvette!

You met Velvette not long after she began working with the Vs.

She was scouring the streets, looking for models on Vox’s security cameras when she saw you.

You were brought to the Vs tower and instead of being met with Vox or Valentino like you feared, you entered a meeting room and saw Velvette.

She was standing in front of a board covered in sketches of suits and hats. You inspired her.

It wasn’t long after that you were walking runways for her and being put front and center on her social media.

Remember when texting your crush song lyrics first became a thing (just spit balling here but if I remember correctly it was like 2016/2017, right?) that’s how Velvette announced to you and the world that you were dating.

If you were confused, she absolutely recorded her going up to you in person and pulling you in for a kiss.

You spend a lot of time doing parallel work. Where Velvette will be working on something and you get to read.

Of if you continue figure skating, she will come and half watch, half work while you practice.

She does stream every single event you do and is cheering you on from the sidelines.

There is a lot of cuddling though. She loves to run her hands up your ears.

She has pulled at your tail (because fun fact, rabbit tails are longer than just puff balls) and smirked when you looked at her scandalized.

“What are you gonna do about it, bunny?” she asked before she kissed you very roughly.

Sex between you two can be very sweet and intimate or it’s a soft BDSM scene (at least according to Valentino who has walked in on you two having sex and had conversations with Velvette like nothing was happening. Has asked you multiple time to do a porno)

Expect to be marked and claimed. You do not get to put makeup on those hickies. Hickies are great! She worked hard on those.

If you’d let her she will use a strap on you. If not, you’ll at least let her tie up your wrists, right? They look so pretty bound.

Teasing your ears and tail. She loves when she gets to see your wings.

She is an avid cuddler after.

You are not getting away from koala hugs.

[olath124]

Wip whenever!

@aggravateddurian tagged me so here we go!

Tags without pressure:

@ouroboros-hideout @blackrevell @cybervesna @cyberholic77 @streetkid-named-desire

@astellehope @dustymagpie @sofia-in-nc @reilleclan-blog @theviridianbunny

What am I up to...

After the beautiful aquarium I've worked on making a beautiful and hot mancave for our favorite warlord!

With some sober lights and... Let's say it, it only lacks a porno 70-80 music as a background noise.

Bow chicka wow wow! There is also the waterfall at the head of the bed!

Of course it lacked a bit of pzazz...

So I added the paintings you may have already seen...

Sober, elegant and stylish.

I swear to God in my real life I'm really into a more simple and sober style... But well, that's Hansen style. Not mine.

It should have also a big ass mirror over the bed... Yeah, I might add it later.

I've made a few other VPs to add to the room of the aquarium and the beautiful nightstand photos for both Hansen and Violet, but I'm gonna show them later!

Other than that... A drawing:

Cutiepies while they're not being absolute assholes to each other <3

And in the writing side... Still going on and:

JOHNNY IS BAAAACK!

(Because he was gone. After storming Arasaka... I know, we are way behind, but I missed him a lot!!!)

“I missed you too, Violet.” He tries to reach her too, to touch her cheek, but his hand goes through her. “But it seems your asshole boyfriend has fixed me so I can't interact with you so much. So long nightly adventures in NC, am I right?” “We can do it anyway, can't we?” “Dunno, do you have to ask permission to go out?” He sits on the couch spreading his arms open. “I fucking don't. I still do whatever I like.” “Sure you do, big girl.”

I missed Johnny bullying V.

So much!

There's also a thing in my head called Corrado Nannini that is haunting me. But cyberpunk refuses to upload Corrado Nannini's pose. It has its own reason. I get it. BUT I'LL FIX IT!

And you'll be able to enjoy Corrado Nannini.

[hunterofdeer]

Everyone, Finally, Knows That (Substack Link in Bio)

I didn’t foresee myself watching a 1986 porno in my living room today, but there have been stranger things. The adult film begins with humble opening credits, and then an eruption of thunderous clouds fills the screen. Zoom in. There is an almost imperceptible narration. Cut to a man getting into a car. Headlights flash, and a guitar riff overtakes the soundtrack. The tires screech even louder; he might want to get those checked.

We immediately jump to a scene where a woman is performing cunnilingus on another woman (Friend? Partner? Coworker?). A man, mustache and all, opens the door and chuckles, “You two are the horniest girls I’ve ever met!” I’m assuming this is something he regularly walks in on. More credits and driving sequences are dispersed throughout, along with bits of the usual porno exposition. There’s another plot with a couple in a car—the man kind of looks like Fred from Scooby-Doo. The two make out, but the poor guy jizzes his pants, much to blondie’s dismay. The woman, in particular, has a terrific sardonic delivery of “Yeah, call me.” Get her an Emmy! Primetime, of course.

Title card: Angels of Passion. The storyline is expectedly choppy, but it appears to go from threesome to car crash to threesome in heaven. (A surprisingly artistic low-angle shot had followed the trio walking about their incandescent surroundings in the nude. Yes, the carpets matched the drapes.) After more run-of-the-mill intercourse, a man in white emerges from a glowing ball and introduces himself as William. He’s aware of their confusion and assures them that they’re dead. “Oh, bummer,” says pornstache.

The cause of death was a drunk driver colliding with the motorhome where the trio had set up sex-shop. The following dialogue is achingly slow, but we get a minute-in-heaven-is-days-on-Earth spiel, setting up pornstache’s wristwatch to be Chekhov’s X-rated gun. Jesus Christ, I didn’t suspect a time-manipulation narrative. Then again, this was the 80s. 

William says he’ll be gone for five minutes, and the trio wants to take their ménage à trois on tour before he gets back. To travel to Earth, all they had to do was snap their fingers like in the movies, as pornstache aptly puts it. They pull the shenanigans you’d think they’d pull, using their newfound angelic statuses to improve the sex lives of mortals, naturally including demonstrations. The character count expands: a sexually-latent secretary, a suicidal businessman, and even domestic fucking terrorists, emphasis on the fucking. 

Now I realize I’ve spent a few too many paragraphs describing a porno, and I don’t think my mother would be very proud. But it is this video that contains the lewd answer to a musical mystery.

WatZatSong.com is a website where curious users submit song snippets, hoping someone can come along to identify them. In 2021, a user named Carl92 uploaded a 17-second scrap that could’ve been a backtrack to an 80s pop-fueled summer vacation. It was incredibly catchy and stirred up a cyber storm. How could something sound so familiar be unknown?

People dubbed the elusive audio as “Everyone Knows That” (EKT) or “Ulterior Motives” in accordance with the limited lyrics, which were still highly debated due to the muddied sound quality. Eventually, Carl92 stopped interacting on WatZatSong, and people perceived this to be a dead end. 

In 2023, the audio was uploaded to YouTube, and the uploader used a picture of a glittery pink CD player, which tied this song to that iconic image. As more and more days passed by, this tune attracted a substantial and dedicated following. People were restricted to only 17 seconds of sound, and all they could see was the flash photo of a CD player, its round speakers like alien eyes.

The r/everyoneknowsthat subreddit now has more than 40,000 members, which is a higher population than Liechtenstein, if that example makes any sense to you. The subreddit was made to guide the search, and it is littered with memes, potential leads, and debunked cases. After u/One-Truth-5867 heard a similar song in a random clip on YouTube, they enlisted the help of u/south_pole_ball to search a catalog of vintage pornos. And then they found it.

At approximately 01:07:30 in Angels of Passion, you can begin to hear the synth-pop beat between breathy moans and grunts. Hilariously, the famous snippet occurred during the rare moment of silence between the actors, suggesting Carl92 had cut around the erotic noise to avoid any shameful admission of the music’s source. However, I can understand why Carl92 would be motivated to find this song. The classic steamy bedroom sex, with a bright-red Coca-Cola sign hanging on the wall, underscored by a peppy, libidinous track, puts you in the fantasy and keeps you wanting more.

At the end of the film, the once booming, gray clouds start to clear. The credits roll, and for the score, I see two names: Chris & Phi. The names, which I’m sure were shortened for discreetness, point to Christopher Saint Booth and Philip Adrian Booth, identical twin brothers who composed soundtracks for a variety of pornos. Currently, they produce, direct, and compose for seemingly low-rent horror films (as if horror films aren’t already low-rent enough). What they do, however, is not up to my judgement; if they are content, then I am, too. They clearly are talented enough to create such a craze around a song in a dated adult film, and I would be open to seeing more of what they have to offer.

I try to imagine myself in a 1980s fairytale, and I wonder what it would be like if I were some hunky actor who pursued pornography in that era’s energized, consumerist culture. This blue movie, while not necessarily great by any means, was interesting in the fact that it was determined to tell a story and entice the viewer into a make-believe of their base desires. 

The reality of all this, as usual, doesn’t check out. Adult production studios, which are extremely male-dominated, obviously take advantage of pornstars. Shit wages, shit contracts, everything is shit—and I’m certain it was worse back then. Two of the actors in this film, Tracey Adams and Steve Drake, were involved in a court case where distributors Charles Brickman and Thomas Ingalls were accused of felony pandering in the production of sex tapes. I looked more into Tracey, and apparently vodka has become her sleep medicine. It’s a messy industry, to say the least.

This whole event is darkly humorous to me. “Everyone Knows That” mocked its obsessive, clueless audience with each replay. Ill-fated Carl92 has become infamously linked to whacking his willy to the song. The song, itself, is just some porno jingle meant to accentuate the carnality on screen. I saw a comment that speculated, in another universe, if the roles were reversed and Madonna’s “Material Girl” ended up being the fleeting ditty, later reduced to a few mere seconds for a community to investigate; and I wondered why people, myself included, lived in these nostalgic fever dreams.

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats | Mistress Electra (Costello, 1982)

I'm always down to revisit the wild and woolly world of Shaun Costello, but I found this pretty underwhelming. Not to sound like a scumbag, but if you're going to put it on your poster that your movie "incorporates every fetish and has the most electrifying bondage and discipline scenes [you] have ever shown", one would expect your movie to be at least moderately kinky. I believe this is something Costello cranked out for the Avon chain of theatres, which students of sleaze will know competed by showing the most extreme dirty movies on the Deuce. Sadly, the kink factor here is pretty minimal.

Only one scene has any element of kink, and it's a pretty mild domination scene, although the presence of Marlene Willoughby makes it the highlight of the movie. Willoughby plays a photographer taking erotic pictures of George Payne as he gets dominated by Linda Vale as the titular Mistress Electra until she takes over, and with the precise diction of her dirty talk and her exaggerated raised eyebrow reactions, she's a winning presence as usual. ("Ooh, a cock ring. He must be a cocker spaniel.") And you could say she brings a whole new meaning to getting the shot, if you wanted to practice some Shalitisms. It's also novel to see Payne in a submissive role, when usually in Avon productions he did the shouty scary shtick that he nailed down to a science. 

Other than that, this holds some interest for Costello auteurists as you can see elements of his style at play, particularly the way he cuts to stolen music. I guess he really enjoyed around this time Thief, because he uses Tangerine Dream's soundtrack to score the better sex scenes in the movie (both the aforementioned scene as well as another photography-themed threesome involving different performers). You can also see Costello playing with his style in the earlier sex scenes as well, with the red background in the loop and photography scenes, but while the action in the loop scene is pretty spicy, the heat is greatly undercut by the lack of diegetic sound and the constant cutaways to the viewers. Also, if I'm going to complain about the lack of kinkiness, it seems like a waste to cast Jeanne Silver in an Avon porno, use her for a single scene, and not even let her put her most famous feature to use.

You also get the private detective plot, which usually provides a nice seedy foundation for plottier pornos, although Ashley Moore, weirdly jovial narration aside, doesn't make the most memorable private dick, as well as the attempts to tie the plot together with street scenes, although setting these in a park really undercuts the energy level. Also, while there are some good performers here, Rod Pierce as the male lead really sinks the movie with his total lack of charisma. (He does get one pretty good line though. "This is the '80s, the age of pornography.")

So this is only really of interest for Costello auteurists, although there are plenty of others you should prioritize over this one.

[bass-ghost-coast-to-coast]

I feel like SnB’s diet during your peak years are sex, drugs, groupies, alcohol, cheesy porn, drugs, more drugs, more sex, more groupies, music, coke and did I mention groupies? I think it applies to a lot of rock bands during the 80s.

Mostly. I mean you don't really need porno when you're surrounded by tits and dicks like, all the time.

There was food in there at some point, too.

[starfxkr]

ok this might be totally off topic or completely of disinterest to you, but i'm a huge music nerd (specifically 80's) and i love like lost/forgotten media. you may have heard about it from social media if you even venture slightly on musictok or whatevs, but i became deeply invested in this song ('ulterior motives/ekt') that ended up being from a FUCKING 80'S PORNO. sorry goodnight it's 3:00am i need to go the fuck to sleep.

-beabea ,,^-^,,

I SAW THAT AND ME AND MY FRIEND WERE FLABBERGASTED BC WE LITERALLY WERE TALKING ABOUT IT THE SAME DAY IT WAS FOUND

literally we were saying how (after it was found) porn probably has so much lost media but because of its taboo we disregard it and feel shame and how erotic content rlly is the cornerstone of much art but we wont admit it

[therulerofallpotatos]

Steal your boyfriend au (ou? Wednesday stealing Tyler away? Sign me up)

27. Tale of Two Wednesdays this looks interesting lol

39. hybernation au

2. I Bit Him so He's Mine. Absolutely love this🤣

35. Pregnant Wednesday and Panicking Tyler au -- awww this will be hilarious

Tyler Pizza Boy au -- *plays 80s Porno music*

In order

Hehehe the teenage shenanigans will be legendary

HAHAHAHAH the reflection of the self and slapping Tyler w the reality of 2 Wednesday's and it is actually real life. I find this extremely amusing

Im gonna be real. I dont remember what the hybernation one is about. I gotta check.

Ah ok. Tyler finds out hydes have a hybernation period the hard way and w 0 idea what is happening. I believe it was based on a prompt in the discord server. (Which is indefinitely open to newcomers unless stated otherwise)

IBHSHM is my novel that is 40k long so far and I will finish it i swear!

Hehehe preg shenanigans

The pizza boy au did start as a nod to the porn cliche but then it grew a plot and shit lol

[dead-twink-storage]

Gnomes of the SS sounds like an 80's porno

I just thought the idea of a red and black photo montage lawn gnomes with SS caps set to scary classical music like every typical History Channel Nazi piece was a funny mental image and you go and send me this total freak shit.

[forffax]

1-3, 6, 14, 22-24, 28-30!

hehe thank you chase!! 1. three songs that come up when you put your phone on shuffle Roman - TOOBOE The Man - The Killers Blood Capsules - The Mountain Goats good songs! :] blood capsules is my fav mountain goats song i think and ofc. tooboe <3

2. three last songs you listened to Mass Destruction - Persona 3 OST Desire Drive - 東方神霊廟 ~ Ten Desires OST Squidy Holly - Chirpy Chirps that last one is just buddy holly by weezer but splatoon. i listen to a lot of game osts and related songs jshdfgs 3. three songs you were recently obsessed with Yoyuyoku - inabakumori Necromantic - 暁Records Entrusting This World to Idols ~ Idolatrize World - 東方鬼形獣　～ Wily Beast and Weakest Creature OST They weren't lying that doki doki sure can waku waku. yoyuyoku makes me think of my ocs and idolatrize world is just a really really good final boss theme <3 6. three songs you wish you could erase from history (because they’re terrible) I will be honest if I think a song is So Sucks it's just Gone from my brain forever unless I hear it again </3 Also generally i love it when things Sound Kinda Bad so I can't even say Temporary Secretary or smthn sdjfkgs. I guess taking this more as "songs that were just kinda disappointing" a lot of game osts for remakes of beloved older games r like this for me? they often sound "cleaner" but they really lose some of the Crust and Crunch that made the old osts so good (thinkin abt specifically the P3 remake's version of Mass Destruction and also some of the remastered tracks in the XC1 remake)

14. three songs you want at your wedding Together Forever - Rick Astley Smooth - Neil Cicierega Don't Let's Start - They Might Be Giants these are for goofs but that's the charm of them i think. rick astley jumpscare.

22. three songs you listen to when you’re sad Dramaturgy - Eve Leopard - Jack Stauber Anyone Who's Anyone - Fleet Foxes Kinda surprised it took this long for fleet foxes or jack stauber to show up (I am typing these up massively out of order) but they're both v dear artists/groups to me. fun fact I only found out that fleet foxes were a local band (relative to me) way after I started getting into their music :] their ep is my fav of all their stuff tbh! if i ever got lyrics tattooed on me it would be from anyone who's anyone i think. 23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped up Matoryoshka - Hachi Saudade - Porno Graffitti Blue Monday - New Order sjkdfhs Matoryoshka is here mainly bc it will pop into my head when I'm getting ready for work </3 also the version of blue monday i linked is a weird fuckin remix with what i can only describe as vaugely halloween noises and someone biting into an apple put in? but im obsessed with the synth bass line they added so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

24. three favourite old songs (Tried to go with specifically before 1970 for these <3) Sing Sing Sing - Benny Goodman (originally by Louis Prima) Tainted Love - Gloria Jones Take Five - Dave Brubeck me in a big t shirt that says I LOVE BIG BAND JAZZ <3 I would be remiss if I didn't also mention Count Basie, Ella Fitzgerald, Duke Ellington... good stuff! I also inculded the gloria jones version of tainted love bc it rules and most ppl only know the soft cell 80s cover </3 26. three favorite non-English songs Higan (remake) - john Float Play - inabakumori Re:Re: - ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION was almost Whoops All Vocaloid but I wanted the self-cover of higan and also akfg my beloved <3 Also shoutouts to Bad Apple!! my friend bapple... I've been listening to a lot of japanese music recently (and in general) so I'd say my ratio of english to japanese songs is abt 40/60 sdhfgs

28. three best songs to get drunk or high to Michael - Franz Ferdinand Mouth Flash - Hakushi Hasegawa This fffire (New Version) - Franz Ferdinand i think i got really high one night and just listened to a bunch of franz ferdinand so i've got that association in my head sdjfhvs. don't know if I've ever gotten high and listened to hakushi but it would be An Experience i think!! (also had no idea this fffire was in that cyberpunk show huh. maybe make more ppl listen to franz ferdinand outside of Take Me Out skjdfbs)

29. three songs that influenced you most If I Ever Feel Better - Phoenix Soul Meets Body - Death Cab for Cutie Crystal Ball - Keane these all mean so much 2 me and were "my" songs during different parts of my life :]

30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above) o (__*) - Hakushi Hasegawa 春嵐 - john Black Burning Heart (demo) - Keane PLEASE do check out all of hakushi hasegawa's discography if u like the above song, their stuff is weird and loud and i've been obsessed ever since i first heard it... shun-ran is my pinned post 4 a reason! the song ever. and i'm not super big on most of keane's demos, but black burning heart & again and again are v good <3 Also didn't get a chance to mention these bands/groups but they're very important 2 me so here they are, in no particular order: I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME, Depeche Mode, Junko Yagami, Arcade Fire, The Shins, GALNERYUS, Yes, Dog Blood, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, The Cure, The Clash, Charles Mingus, Red Vox, pinocchioP, 煮ル果実, Ado, COOL&CREATE, 魂音泉... and probably more im forgetting <3

[ghouliarestingplace]

The Orchid of Gallagher Mansion

part 2

I walk out of the dormitory and listen to music while walking to my class. I’m not that stupid or oblivious as people may think I am. Everyone uses masks, facades and little sorts of acts when dealing with people. In my case, I just don’t want to acknowledge Taylor’s crush on me. I assumed he would get over it if I friend zoned him enough. Anyone who uses ‘buddy’ and “pal” is a telltale sign, especially for nerds, which Taylor is. A big red headed nerd. It’s cute. He’s obvious with his feelings, it’s not hard to read him. Especially after finding his fanfic. Call it a bad trait, but I like to read my fair share of smut and Taylor can write. It was funny at first, until I realized just how deep his feelings for me run. It’s so comical how obvious he is with his feelings. Sometimes I want to bring it up, hoping he’ll get over me and move on to someone else.

It’s not that I don’t like Taylor, I think he’s nice and a great guy. I just think we’d work better as friends. I don’t think I’ve ever truly liked someone, much less feel romantic love for anyone. I’m not exactly that connected to my emotions, or rather I know I’d be hung up on the person in my dreams. Which is a big factor as to why I even joined the club. As much as I like Taylor and think of him as a good friend, I would not be able to stand spending as much time with one single person as I do with Taylor. Honestly, I wait for the day parallel play is a normalized for dates. I wanted to figure out why I keep having reoccurring dreams. Glimpses of memories I’ve never lived…maybe a ghost attached itself to me when I was young. Maybe I have some sort of spiritual power? But I’ve never been able to connect with the dead or anything like that. And I don’t like buying vintage things. I mean, even if I count thrifting, what are the odds of getting a cursed item? The most likely things cursed in thrift stores are those VHS tapes. You never know if you’re getting some weird homemade 80s porno about clowns or an overly saturated movie with a hot clown. So far, I’ve only been able to narrow down to these possibilities;

either I was cursed before my birth and my parents used to be apart of cult (which is highly unlikely. My family is rather superstitious and do NOT like dealing with anything that is perceived as the dark arts.

The government really did put something in the water and I’m slowly going insane (Taylor severely thinks drinking tap is the worst thing someone can do, there the water is laced with tiny microchips and that’s how they’re watching us.)

Lastly, which I think might be the most possible one, is that I’m having memories from my past life. That I’m either connected to something or have some sort of unfinished business from my past life that I promised to remember in this one. (I saw this happen in a novella, but like…it can’t be true right? Wouldn’t I have met my so called ‘soulmate’ by now?)     

It doesn’t matter what the possibilities are. I just can’t figure it out. Taylor thinks I was abducted by aliens who like to implant false memories in my head. But Taylor believes apple was based off alien technology from area 51, so I don’t put much stock in his ideas unless he has proper research. I’m just going to have to figure this out on my own. Taylor hates it when I talk about this ‘mysterious dream demon’ and thinks I should just ignore it until it goes away.        

It doesn’t matter what the possibilities are. I just can’t figure it out. Taylor thinks I was abducted by aliens who like to implant false memories in my head. But Taylor believes apple was based off alien technology from area 51, so I don’t put much stock in his ideas unless he has proper research. I’m just going to have to figure this out on my own. Taylor hates it when I talk about this ‘mysterious dream demon’ and thinks I should just ignore it until it goes away.

But this doesn’t just go away. It lives, it breathes, and it becomes a part of you. And then you start to think that it is you. The familiarity of it, the way it feels so real, that deep down you know that its---

“and that’s all for class today!” The professor announces.

I’m snapped out of my thoughts, and I look to see my phone is flooded with messages from Taylor.

“Fuck, that’s right the meeting.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“OH MY GOD, THE JUGGLING CLUB? WHEN I SEE THAT UNGODLY NO-GOOD IAN DUFF IT’S OVER! IT IS ON SIGHT- IT’S ON AERA 50-61! IT’S GOING DOWN!” Taylor is fuming. The meeting did NOT go well whatsoever. It was a disaster and now we only have, what three days? To get more members. I always told Taylor he needed to advertise the club better. Like, I don’t know have weekly horror movie night, or host paranormal scouting nights or fuck—anything! Literally anything, there so many horror fans, paranormal, and conspiracy theorists that he could be capitalizing on. But whenever I bring up ideas like that, he says “I am NOT selling out!” Like most nerds, Taylor likes to secretly gatekeep. It’s frustrating to see him put in so much work but he’s so strong headed about his ideals and he’s just so stubborn. Sighing, I refill my mug and sit back at the table as I read articles about Gallagher mansion. Groaning, I push my laptop away from me as my brain is literally fried. Subconsciously I scratch my neck. It’s Taylor who catches me this time. “You’ve been scratching your neck a lot lately.” He notes, shooting me a worried look. I stop and roll my shoulders. “My birthmark has been itching for some reason. Maybe I’m not drinking enough water.” He hmms and goes back to work. “You got a unique birthmark, (name). Are you sure you weren’t abducted by aliens when you were born?” I want to say he’s joking, I really do, but he looks at me skeptically. “Taylor Potts, have you been watching me?” I smirk at him and he blushes before stammering while making some bizarre excuse that he’s trying to keep the reptiloids from taking over the world or something. But he’s right, I have an odd birthmark. It’s in the shape of a star. I Stare off into space as things go silent, Taylor goes back into the motions of researching while I sit in silence.

I look over to Taylor who’s writing notes down and staring at his laptop with an angry glare as he mutters “fuckin’ juggling club’ It makes me laugh. Getting up, I make us more coffee. I look back to my laptop and side eye my switch and grab non caffeinated tea for me. Someone has to be functional to explore that mansion tomorrow.

“Taylor, cursing and hexing the juggling club won’t save our ass. “ I set the coffee next to him and look at his laptop. I sit down and look at the script, tuning out his rant about clowns and juggling. “Tay, most people are just joining to be ironic. Most people wanna join just to say “how do I juggle these?” I say, waiting for Taylor to catch on. “Juggle these what?” Taylor asking, pausing his work and looking at me with a skeptical brow. I smile from ear to earn and say:  “juggle deez ballz!” I can’t stop laughing. Taylor is beat red and standing from his chair, he gasp and grabs me by the collar. “DID YOU JOIN THE JUGGLING CLUB?” I can’t give a proper answer as I’m laughing my head off. Replaying the moment from the last juggling club meeting. “YOU DID!” He lets me go and looks at me like I stepped in shit. I finally calmed down and smile at him. “Look, I went there after they brought up taking our club room to the student president. Unlike you I attend the club congress meetings. It’s because of my people skills that we kept that club room for so long and got away with as much shit as we did.” I push my hair off my shoulder. “Anyways, even if I’m not allowed at anymore meetings, everyone keeps saying “juggle deez balls” and Ian Duff, can stay mad.” Taylor stills for a second then laughs.

I smile too, finally happy that Tay isn’t in such a twist anymore. I look over my lines then back to the dress I’m supposed to wear tomorrow night.

“Juggle deez balls, Ian fucking Duff.”  

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[bluastro-yellow]

watching a Cicciolina porno because I had watched the infamous horse dick scene out of morbid curiosity and it made realize that 80s porno was fucking weird in general

this thing is re-dubbed. it has normal 80s italian movie music

she's giving an enema to a dude and nothing in the title suggested anything odd

[tsuchiman]

Review: Cyberpunk 2077

Recently finished this after playing it on-and-off for the last 3 months. I started it last year, it didn't hook me so I dropped it but picked it back up and got into the swing of things.

At first, the vanilla game was mostly enjoyable but certain things started to irritate me. I noticed that most guns didn't do any damage to foes, which led me down the rabbit hole of modding via Nexus Mods. After adding in a realistic combat mod, I started fooling around with other mods just to fully customize the experience. Most of it modified minor things: crowd behaviors, water textures, more diverse weather rotation, increased traffic density, etc. The mod that hit the nail on the head was an EBM music modifier, adding in songs from bands like Nine Inch Nails and Front 242 as you ride around the city.

After the mods came the post-processing. I work with Reshade in a lot of games to add in some usually much needed zest into the final image, and this game needed it. The raw image isn't as impressive as I was expecting, so after much tweaking I finalized an image that I would prefer to see. It all made for better looking screenshots. Although, I didn't play it with an RTX driven card, so no ray-tracing. But even without the high-end rig to run ray-tracing, the game does a great job creating a realistic environment while maintaining a steady 60 fps on my RX 6700 XT at 2K resolution.

The game itself was interesting and about as accurate as you would expect the title to imply. If you've read any William Gibson or Philip K. Dick, or watched pretty much any cyberpunkish sci-fi, then the experience was either familiar or felt like you walked into a mashing of those stories. Everything in this universe looks as if it's been built onto something else, creating an embedded, living greeble effect. The lingo that people use is quirky but unique; "preem", "gonk", have been set into my head as new terms. The design language is stuck between a retro-vision of what the future could have looked like from the perspective of the 80's-90's cyberpunk scene, and with modern-influenced perspectives about how the internet of our day actually works, how AI has actually come to function, etc. The cyberspace environments were somewhat predictable in their design, but functionally worked without being overwhelming, visually or conceptually.

The inclusion of transgender or trans-sexual themes should be noted, since in this universe, body modification is the norm. There is one character I came across that after some time building the relationship, you find out that she was previously a he. The game doesn't focus on it much, but the inclusion of transgender themes makes me ask why there's a lack of transracial themes. The body-modding mechanic is integral to the world-building of the story. It would have been interesting to experience more people who's identities were pushed to all sorts of extremes: differenced sexes, spliced sexes, spliced races, possibly even spliced with animals. Where's the gene modification? Where are the cyber cat girls?

The romance between you and the characters you end up working with was an interesting mechanic. I picked female V, but didn't necessarily have to try too hard to pick who I romanced. The game seemed to favor offering your lady companions as possible romance partners instead of the male companions, but maybe I'm biased since all the women are quite attractive. As conversations IRL usually have a hint of innuendo, adding in sex as an outcome adds a touch of realism since most games don't use it or can't. Flirtation and the inevitable sex scenes were half-way between intimate and comical, but this game isn't designed to be a porno. But again, if the developers are going to include sex as an option, why not push to the extremes?

The only thing that kept me motivated throughout the game was the unraveling of Johnny Silverhand's past and current attachment to you. I won't say any spoilers here, but it was genuinely interesting to experience the dynamic between you and him. It's an interesting take on psychology, implants, cybernetics, the concepts of "soul" and "personality" locations, and the morality entwined between all of these. I chose a more amicable path with Johnny, so the outcome was beneficial for both of us. But there are options where you can essentially stay combative with him, and I'm guessing eventually rejecting him outright like a parasite.

The criticisms I do have for the overall structure of the game is how open-world design can both be a benefit and a hazard. The environments were well crafted, everything fit perfectly into the name "cyberpunk", and after modding a bit, it was accentuated that much more. The drawback with the open-world element is that eventually everything starts to look the same in the city, and I quickly started watching the minimap when navigating, instead of tracking by environmental cues. I felt as lost as I do when I'm using Google Maps.

The environments could have instead been designed by something like "old" versus "new" city designs. The old city would have had an aesthetic that looked like everything was retro-fitted. The new city could have been more like Mirror's Edge. Perhaps there could have been a dome-city, for high-end-profile people only, with no air pollution from some future fancy air filtration system. Perhaps contrast this with a slum-city. Excluding the cyberspace scenes, the visual change between environments only became apparent when you travelled into the desert, or after adding in an increased weather cycle mod. Besides that, the neon eye-candy and megacity flora-fauna was like being lost inside a pinball machine. Eventually it all blurs into a revolving same-ness. In a way, it makes me wonder how the game would have been had it been designed more linearly, with a semi-open world design, something like the Metro 2033 series.

On the topic of environmental design, the faction system that's present, or not present, felt a bit lackluster as well. As it is, there isn't much weight to your decisions other than defining the personalized storyline. You end up working with people from particular factions, yet you yourself never get tied to these factions. I would have found it interesting if the factions you ally with start to define other faction behavior. Choosing to work with the police should affect how other gangs trust you, and vice versa. Maybe you can develop a relationship with a gang, only to infiltrate them for a job for the government. Maybe the government is revealed to have splinter factions within, so that a job becomes difficult with an either-or decision. Territories could be defined by faction influence and control, so maybe you could have a bounty on your head under certain territories, or given special permissions in areas with groups you've been good with. This could have come with access to special items, vehicles, body mods, etc.

Overall, the game is most definitely the definition of "cool". It takes itself seriously, pushing the tech-noir aspect while keeping the zaniness of a future one awry out of the picture. Did it break the sound barrier for me? Not necessarily. But it is rare for me to finish a game. I still haven't finished Witcher 3, which is approaching a decade old soon. So for Cyberpunk 2077 to keep me hooked until the end says something. Or maybe it was just Panam's ass.

[baku2017]

What are 3 songs you think Sewis would call theirs?

i thought i'll give you a joke answer but i kinda want to think about it honestly so there's two part to this

first i'll do my little honest imagine : - i feel love by Donna Summer, especially if we're thinking 80's au (to me one of the greatest song of all time, don't talk to me if you prefer the short version), they are sweating in a club lewis is wearing a disco outfit and seb really short shorts you know the drill

-you by Marina, would sebastian vettel listen to Marina ? in my mind yes absolutely ! all the lyrics are true and right and kinda sad, they're obsessed with each other and a little bitchy

You, yeah, you break me down (You) Yeah, you shut me out (You) But it's all about you (You)

-i wanna be your lover by La Bionda, i don't know i listened to it recently and it's just a silly little song that fucks, about someone in space getting an alien message saying they just want to be their lover, we all know lewis is a space nerd it'll make him laugh, i just picture them in their home dancing in the kitchen to this

Wanna be your lover Not just be your friend

ok now my joke answer

anon i know who you are and you're in for a treat inexplicably the first song that came to my head was Je veux te voir by Yelle, absolutely iconic song that was sang by elementary students (as their parents listened in horror) and queer people all over france when it came out nothing works because the entire song is a diss at some bad rapper that wrote a sexist line in one of his song about the singer here (after she released this song he never made music again, a win), but the first part of the chorus feels so right, i'll give you a bad translation :

Je veux te voir - i wanna see you Dans un film pornographique - in a porno En action avec ta bite - in action with your dick Forme potatoes ou bien frites - potato or french fries shaped POETRY

if i made just one person listen to Yelle with this post i'll be happy