#with both of them theres like 2 versions of them in my head that have very different vibes and funny enuf both their canons work w that lol

[firstofficerkittycat]

tbh clara could be split a billion times across the doctors timeline and id be like yeah this fucks it's literally only annoying bc she exists to "save the doctor" like there couldve been so many other reasons most importantly why couldnt it just be a mistake. can we pls explain big plot things with mistakes again i love mistakes. fucking. what was the entire buildup of bad wolf for oh yeah rose saw the tardises pussy and became god! ! ! !! uh oh ! oopsie doopsie ! ! this is poetic cinema

[toastsnaffler]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

i literally spend at least 2 hours a week just looking at various pictures of the terracotta army. utterly entranced. look at the details in the hair. you'd never see ANY of this when they're lined up in formation, but they're there.  

theres about 8000 of these guys down there, no two faces are alike. they're works of art. they're the manifestation of a cruel despot's delusions of grandeur. a talisman against the terrible inevitability of death, both pathetic and strangely pitiful. like watching a child clinging to his blanket, begging you not to turn off the light. they were a bunch of insignificant clay statues from a side chamber that was so small and unremarkable, no one bothered to write down the location. they were modelled after real people. their only purpose was to serve qin shi huang in the afterlife, so he could reign in heaven as he did on earth. now the emperor is just a ghost and his pawns are immortal. my dad and i visited them in the dead of winter, on a weekday, just so we wouldn't have to deal with tourists like us. the place had easily 500 people--not including the ones below ground. we traveled to xian via the old "green skin" diesel train. there are faster means, like highspeed rail but dad insisted i try the authentic way, the same way he would have traveled when he was my age it was also like, a quarter of the price but im sure that had nothing to do with it! back in the 80s carriages would get so packed people had to have their luggage passed in via the windows. as we chugged along, i read my book and my dad made us cup noodles. car is just a shortened version of "carriage", the word is the same but the mechanism is different. it's the same in chinese. i think if i told someone from the warring states period i could travel from the Kingdom of Qi to Qin in just four hours with my metal carriage, i'd be laughed out of town--or accused of being a spy and sentenced to 'death by carriage.' we hopped off the train at 4am and took a different "carriage." the taxi driver joked; "basically every dynasty put their capital in xian, stick a shovel anywhere and you'll turn up some national treasure or another." i wonder what it would have felt like to be a farmer digging a well and then out pops a remarkably realistic human head. statistical analysis show the soldier's faces bear a strong similarity to people living in the region today. the taxi stopped in front of a jewellery-hawking tourist trap and refused budge an inch until we went inside. did you know the terracotta soldiers were originally multi-coloured and painfully gaudy, just like the greek marbles? they were made assembly-line style. the arms and legs were made from the same workshops that made clay plumbing pipes and roof tiles. for quality control, the artisans were required to stamp their names. the workers who built these tombs were executed shortly afterwards, because only dead men can be trusted with secrets. qin shi huang's mausoleum is unlikely to be excavated in my father's lifetime, or mine, not unless i'm willing to take a BIG ONE for the team... instead of the tomb, they built some kind of qin shi huang-themed theme park next to it. not only was it tacky as hell the entrance fee was like $50. we went to the museum and i looked at bronze tools and pottery shards for three hours. look why can't we just crack the thing open i can't be the only one here whos dying from curiosity what if we all just took turns digging

[pencileraser1]

things i noticed/thoughts about most recent rewatches of dps (plus laserdisk deleted scenes):

whenever theres a group scene i've started watching the characters that the story isn't focusing on to see what they do and i've been having a fun time with that. pitts and cameron specifically seem to almost always be doing something interesting in the background.

hopkins!!!! my favorite minor character who somehow got character development despite having like 2 lines!!!! the last guy to stand on the desk but he did it!!!

sometimes i do like to think about what the rest of the students thought about the dead poets society, esp in alternate timeline neil lives dps keeps meeting universe. like yeah theres this guy in their class whose one of the most credited students in the school and we think he maybe started a cult. idk though. but that group runs out into the woods every few days to do god knows what and one of them keeps talking about "dead poets honor" whatever that means and holy shit welton star student neil perry started a cult.

i watched the movie with headphones. and maybe it's because ive seen this movie Far too many times and mabe i'm listening too hard but it was Really obvious sometimes when audio was added in post production. llke in the sweaty toothed madman scene when you can hear laughing and to be fair the camera is behind their heads. but it does Not look like anyone's laughing. my favorite is at the end of the phone call to chris scene where knox is like i'm gonna seize the day!! and runs up the stairs and the poets are cheering him on and neil is sort of yelling "carpe!!!!" and i could be wrong but i'm like 75% certain that the person singing is Also rsl so now neil is just speaking two times at once somehow. anyways it didn't ruin the experience for me or anything it was maybe just a little bit funny to notice but very sorry if this did ruin anyone's viewing.

people talk a lot about how rsl and ethan hawke really made their characters what they are but i have to add dylan kussman to that list. I get the impression that older versions of the movie didn't really give as much depth to cameron and watching dylan kussmans performance is like. he Knew who his character was so fucking well and it shows!! like the deleted scene of them getting clubs assigned. like i could tell So Much about cameron from that scene

for how little she actually appeared, there is an emphasis put on the fact that neil's mom smokes pretty frequently. and i think that's interesting considering neil is one of two poets shown actively smoking. neil's mom doesn't appear for very long in the movie but during that time it definitely seems like the movie is intentionally making parallels between the two, particularly in the last argument with neil's father. neil and his mother are both sitting for almost the whole time, which contrasts with his father who is standing. they are both almost powerless in this scene. they stand up at almost the same time. anyways there's a couple different possibilities for what this could mean? that i've though of? 1. to show that neil's mother is in a similar situation to the one neil is in in regards to neil's father and 2. maybe a stretch here but the theory that neil inherited his mental illness at least partially from his mother. i'm pretty sure 1 was fully intentional on the directors part, not entirely sure about 2 though

unmanned flying desket scene: it's probably cause he and ethan wrote the scene themselves but the way rsl talks in this scene feels more like the way he talks in general than the rest of the script. like briefly neil perry is talking in rsl's voice. one of my absolute favorite scenes though the sarcastic dialogue is so good.

the light of knowledge at the first shot of the film vs. todd standing on his desk at the last shot of the film paralel

[my-name-is-calypso]

HOLD ON I JUST THOUGHT OF A BANGER AU OF DANNY PHANTOM!!!!

Okag so this Au can be mainly used for everlasting trio (platonic or not), but you can use anything else

_______________________________________________

Alot of things are basically the same, EXCEPT this is halfa trio au, BUT THERES IS ONLY ONE PHANTOM/HALFA HERO! Or at least thats what everyone else thinks, BECAUSE SAM, TUCKER AND DANNY ARE ALL HALFAS

But theres something missing here right? How are they all halfas but theres only "one" ghost hero?

My friends...THEY ARE KINDA OF AN AMALGAMATION BUT ALSO NOT, their main form is a mix of the tree of them BUT they can also shapeshift a bit

Not enough to change their WHOLE appearence, for example:

if they are gonna deal with a ghostly tech (or magic) problem, the ghost will look more like Tucker, if its a nature the ghost will look like Sam (and other theme that you think will fit Sam, because i want to give at least 2 themes for each) one), if the problem is Space/Ice they will look more like Danny.

But it will still be a mix, only that more traits of each of them will appear more (if the problems is focused on the areas of only two, both traits will appear more)

And their thoughs? Can they each think separetly or not? Well i like the idea of their thoughs beaing separed, which will cause a lot of problems at their start on being a hero.

OH AND ALSO!! The main form will have 2 legs and 2 Arms, and the body will look human, but certain times, if 2 arms are -for example- stuck, at least 2 more país can appear, i think it will look good if that mainly happen with arms and legs, but fuck it, anything else works, like their head will just turn in a less fucked up version of like...v0ldemort face being on the back of that one professor head.

ANY WAY GETTING THIS OUT OF THE WAY, lets give more details!!!

The Start:

Their backstorys and family relations is all the same, danny parents are still the "crazy" scientists that believe in ghost, and all that jazz

We know how it goes, the portal gets ready, does not work, The Fenton parents get sad and bla bla bla (you can choose the details here)

But the trio wants to check it, they go see it and for whatever motive you choose they wnat danny to go inside the portal, AND THATS WHERE THINGS CHANGE

Because danny refuses to go unless the three of them go, they agree, take on of the others Danny's extra HAZMATS suits, and they go inside (they hold hands because its dark and they don't want to get hurt)

Their death:

The portal turns on with the three of them still inside, and well they go trough alot of pain and well they have one form and they are tripping everywhere and can't use their(?) body very well, and everyones panicking and hearing each others thoughs and crying and they see a mirror (you choose how they look like exactly but i think their form is changing constatly, and the faces is not exactly right ...until they open their eyes, and are all fallen in the floor, human, breathing and most important, normal!

Other:

So everything is the same, except some details, like when vlad sees danny, he doesnt see that danny is an halfa like him, but knows that he is not exactly normal, so he keeps his eyes closes to him, but nothing happens. UNTILL HE SEES PHANTOM (and think the name should be only one and still be phantom) and realizes that is danny, so he follows while hidden to talk to him, and sees the trio destransform

His obsession still has something to do with marrying maddie and adopting Danny (be it him wanting a family, and being delusional that only these two will love him), but he ONLY wants danny to be his halfa son, so he kinda wants to find a way to only have danny as an halfa (be it killing Sam and Tucker)

And then he goes to cloning, and Danniele is born, she is still mainly a clone of Danny, but she still has Sam and Tucker DNA (Vlad failed to truly get rid of these two DNA, so he stuck to having just the minumum of their DNA), they help Danniele (who chooses to now be named Ellie) and she goes to travel the world (in this, she has a phone, and keeps in touch with the trio)

Jazz still is the one to first fully alive person to find out their secret, she doenst change a lot, she just worries more because of the trio

Valerie still is Red Huntress and hates ghosts, but she gets a truce with phantom sooner and gets rid of her hatred of ghost earlier (her Dad still loses his job, and she gets kicked out of the A-Listers, and she still works a part-time job at Nasty Burger)

Amity park thinks Phantom is one person and just shapeshifts (not that crazy of an idea once you realizes ghost exists) and so does the ghost at their first meeting untill they se the trio destransfrom.

The G.I.W is not much of a joke here, because goverment, but they suck ALOT on catchin ghosts

If you wanna go with dissection, i have no idea what will happen so be creative

May add images later?

[alex-multiverse]

Kh Worldbuilding headcanons: Destiny Islands Edition

No one ever talks about the original worlds in kh and i find that a travesty because these places are a really, REALLY good mine to play around with. (u can also use them or expand on them if you really like)

So im gonna share some HCs i have about the original kh worlds, starting with Destiny islands..... but before that some basics: also this is kinda long so under the read more it goes

In general:

Kh "worlds" arent really floating in space. the stylized icons we see in game are more akin to dimensional rifts rather than actual planets (seriously who thinks this is how the world looks fr)

Following on with the dimensional rift: as the "worlds" arent really pieces of the original world, they are something more akin as parallel dimensions or something along the lines of something like ff14 (mostly because i would rather die first than live in a world with 5 different versions of britain existing at the same time)

As much as dark road is cool, the explanation for the empty worlds is dumb and for the purposes of this exercise, instead ofthe worlds filling the people gradually after it is created, i consider that the worlds as they exist are the result of the surviving children of the war making their stories real in the fractured reality of the original world (it also follows the weird theme of reality/unreality that kh4 seems to go for) and it turning into a different version of earth as we know it, with some exceptions, such as monstropolis (which exists independently as a parallel land to earth in its canon) and Deep space (which is straight up NOT earth and was more like, the rift of lilo and stitch's world pointing at the high counselor's fleet BEFORE the actual movie started) and also the OG worlds who dont have something to be based on for reasons to be explained later.

the only world that exists in the ocean between as it is, is the Keyblade graveyard. because it was so majorly fucked up by the war it both shattered in the physical and dimensional way after it happened.

Now that that rant is out of the way, LETS GO TO THE MOST UNDERRATED WORLD IN THE SERIES:

Destiny islands is in fact, more than 2 islands, being a big archipelago with a bigger "main island" where our three protagonists live at. this one we have seen before in kh2

Destiny islands, is, by far, not the only chain of islands in the world. in fact, theres way more islands beyond the horizon.

We know the islands have a mayor, thus we know that they must have cordial diplomatic ties with different islands near them.

Due to FF characters existing here, i am very tempted to assure that some of the races from ff8 and ffX exist in this world (you are now imagining kimahri playing with a tiny kairi after diplomacy stuff with her dad just ended)

Due to DI being an original world, it is actually a shard of the original world that didnt really changed much compared to the other original ones. its major difference is that it is an ocean world like Wind waker hyrule or the Grand line from One piece

Magic is a real thing in the original worlds populace, you just really need to get good at it, learn it, be magical by default, or cheat and get a keyblade somehow

Religion in the og worlds strike me as something akin to the way people prayed to the aeons of yevon in ffx or the astrals of FF15. with people praying to the ff summons on a case by case basis and depending on their preference for patron gods. Ie: Leviathan being a goddess of the ocean and water who is prayed to by sailors or fishermen, while scholars prefer ifrit using an interpretation of the fire of knowledge. (you know. like a furry prometheus that doesnt get eaten by an eagle daily)

I'll probably go on more detail later, but for now, the summons that get prayed to the most in DI is probably Leviathan for the aforementioned reasons, Ramuh for nature and agriculture reasons, shiva for tradition and combat reasons (related to riku in my particular headcanon) And Titan for economical reasons, wow alex making the rock man into the economy guy i wonder where you have heard it before

Speaking of economy, DI currency totally has tiny paopu fruit symbols in its coins and bills, and its a legal course currency in its neighboring islands because they too dig the paopu fruit symbolism

Munny looks like malleable diamonds because it probably just morphs into the appropate currency depending on the world we're in, moogles only use them as they are because they are both the people doing synthing and also shady as hell. do not trust the pompom people.

Going back to the Paopu fruit: its quite a common tree fruit in the islands and in fact is industrially harvested in some islands both as an export and in-island use.

The paopu folk story is actually mostly just a misconception for an older tale. originally involving sailors and a promise to return home safe. it eventually turned into "sharing one will entwine your fates forever"

Paopu pastries are a common dessert, and paopu wine is used often in weddings.

Monsters ARE real in the islands and roam the most inhabited places. These are often hunt for game and for safety reasons

THAT MEANS, chocobos are also a thing people use in the most rural parts of the islands for fieldwork, transportation and sometimes food.

Blitzball is MAD popular and they Often do tournaments involving several islands. DI itself was almost a perpetual champion up until jecht retired, then they win every so often instead of always

Boating licenses are a thing, but kids can still use their little boats because they have to row them. think like, the difference between a bicicle and a motorbike.

There are bridges for tram systems between islands that are close to each other, usually reinforced for sea and storm reasons.

Legally speaking, equal marriage is a thing and even polyamorous ones because why being an ass about it.

Healthcare is mostly public, but there are Specialty care stuff in the main islands that costs money because of course it is

Because sora and riku are japanese names, i prefer the island to be something like a tropical japan, so most of the people in DI have japanese names.

That would be all for now. tune in next time when i tackle on Twilight town, who may or not be in perpetual twilight (is not)

[electraslight]

I care about ur Bevin headcannon I would love to hear

YES i finally get to yell abt these two, its my fav ship in the series idk why people arent more into it. Fanart is supplied as usual and i have some evidence-ey screenshots under the cut, mostly bc i want to share them w SOMEONE other than my friend blue. Enjoy my ramblings

-kevin is dating both ben and gwen, gwen and his relationship being a lot more outward and public and ben a more private relationship, they only ever kiss or hold hands when its just the two of them or (rarely) when gwen is around, partially bc of bens fame and his own hangups about liking men and partially bc when they are romantic they r extremely vulnerable with each other and thats the sort of thing they wouldnt want anyone else to see.

-(quoting from a discord dm w my friend) ben and kevin violence is something that if u saw it in a painting or a movie it would be rly profound and aweinspiring. in real life its also the same, but it feels so much like intruding when ur actually watchingbc kevin and ben have all their emotions about each other in v short bursts, theyll bottle them up 4 an extended period of time and then have som e massive cataclysmic event when it bubbles to the surface. there r literally no continual emotional moments between them like kevin and gwen who have contunious small emotions abt each other, kevin and ben will hang out 4 months at a time and then one day just start hitting each other, which is in a way a part of the romance

-in omniverse theres a scene where its shown that 12 year old kevin is in possession of a photo of ben that is suspiciously well worn, it has rips and stains and has been crumpled up and refolded a couple times. I like to think he kept that photo, whether to use as a beacon of hate or chew on and cry who knows. 

-ben and kevin dont give a shit about what form the other takes, the only time ben has ever blushed about a guy is when mutant kevin grabbed him in the rooters arc and kevin is around alien versions of ben every day and doesnt bat an eye. This is why i think that once kevin and ben get together kevin makes a game about kissing all of his aliens (indiscriminatley. Even if they dont have mouths) he makes a scoring system and writes reviews on how good the experience was in glitter gel pen and makes a ranking list of his favorites. Stinkfly sweeps the vote, shocking everybody. Ben would rank kissing kevins mutations but only 2 out of 5 would even consider it before turning him into pink mist so he just sticks with what he knows.

- ben and kevin get married when theyre older and gwen stays in girlfriend status (mostly bc she knows that ben has a much shorter lifespan than her and kevin and she wants to give him the happiest time she can while hes still there) and they all live in a mansion the size of the white house. Kai comes by once a month to keep kenny happy (he still thinks shes his bio mom even after theyve told him multiple times she was just a donor. Gwen says he gets his delusions from ben). Ben and kevin like to sit on the 500 foot long porch and throw rocks at passerby and snuggle. Kevin is so happy he giggles mindlessly to himself in public, scaring strangers. He tries to get them to look at pictures of his family but this only further creeps them out.

-kevin finds the most random shit ben does extremely charming. hed look at him picking his boogers and eating them and he thinks in his head i need this guy so much. ben finishes a rubix cube not even very fast and kevins like wow. cool. do you like emos.ben is charmed by kevin in the same way. he sees kevin use the toilet brush to scratch an itch on his back and hes like fuck oh fuck oh fuck

I have more i prommy i just cant think of them rn, i will make more if im able. 4 now please have my collection of bevin screenshots under the cut. Spread the word my disciples. fair warning there are a lot

[stellawolfearts]

Aight it's been a long hit minute since I sent ya anything (hi hello bye the bye)

Top five favorite facts/bits of lore/ HCs (can be yours or others head canons) of nezha 😁

hihihiiiiiii

ooooh top five facts/bits of lore/ HCs about Nezha. this is gonna be fun~

Powers

youd never guess. but when i first watched through LMK i didnt care for Nezha. not rlly. I always thought he was cool and had a nice design but I didnt really care much for him. But i ALWAYS thought his powers and abilitys were so cool. maybe its my bias for pink characters and powers (i also have a bias for blue) but when i needed a character to do some fighting in my fic i snatched Nezha. and ever since i started writing him i couldnt stop. So honestly i gotta put his cool lookin powers as #1 since its what initially hooked me onto his character. both canon and other power HC's i have.

2. His personality PSA: Im not saying any of this is canon. these are my headcanons.

I love canon Nezha dont get me wrong, but im a little biased to my headcanons. well- more then a little XP. I ADORE sassy traumatized fucked up little guys. LMK Nezha is already sassy as hell, as he should be. he's soooooo traumatized if you read into his mythology. and he's also so POWERFUL.

it's just something about characters who are mainly known for being powerful and unstoppable. a force to be reckoned with. but eventually it's revealed this 'unstopable persona' is actually just a mask they've built. They are no doubt very powerful. but one of the reasons people are so scared of them is bc they've built the reputation so no one hurts them anymore. Nearly always on the defensive and holding their emotions inside so thy don't get hurt anymore. But like we saw in the s3 special with MK can still be gentle and kind.

not only that, but needs that kind of kindness and acceptance in his life. Needs a family that will accept all aspects of him. The good and the bad.

TS Nezha is a hurt kid. Traumatized and honestly kinda lonely. Because there's very few people that know the real him. Even if he trusts other people, there's no guarantee that they will accept the real him without the mask he's created. Kin moment.

that and the fact its very easy to shove him into a found family.

also Autism representation in my HC's. I'm Autistic, and some of his traits are just me projecting my Autism onto him.

3. His white hair.

My favorite lore bit about Nezha is not something a lot of people know about him. In the translation of Investiture of the Gods I own it says he was born with white hair.

Chapter 12 - The birth of Nezha

However, as Yin had a strange dream one night, she suddenly gave birth to this strange child the following morning. With maidens rushing about saying that a demon was present in Yin's chambers, Li Jing immediately rushed forth into her room and cleaved in two a strange fleshy ball that rolled to and fro across the floor. Within the ball emerged a small young child with hair as white as snow with a gleaming golden bracelet on his right wrist.

I have implemented this in my Tangled Star AU but how is spoilers >:3

all im saying is TSNezha and TSMac have something in common~ but thats already saying too much >:3

4. His Design Theres a reason ive only minorly changed his design in my headcanons. Overall i ADORE it. Again im probably biased because of all the pink but I love characters like him. He's got some traditionaly feminine design choices. at least traditionally in the west (Pink, Long hair, the bottom of his armor looks like a skirt). It's very gender. and he's just cute overall. his design is so much fun to draw and my version is even more fun.

Honestly. The guys got my gender. Masc, but confident in wearing some feminine things. He just seems like the kind of guy who'd like wearing dresses and keeping his hair long, but still masc nonetheless. Breaking gender norms as he should.

5. His dynamics with other characters.

I love writing him interacting with other characters. He just clashes so well with the other characters when i write him in my AU's. both positively and negatively. I love writing him in angst, i love writing him in fluff. I just. love putting this guy into situations XD.

his relationship with his found family in tangled star is SO MUCH FUN to write. traumatized little guy who trusts no one but the people he's closest with. and even they are still getting him to open up.

thats...honestly the best way i can describe my top five things about nezha. its hard to explain why i like him and i was just tempted to write

blorbo

blorbo

blorbo

blorbo

blorbo.

So be happy you got that much out of me. sorry it got so long but once i start ranting i cant stop. XD

[lobster-lover]

hi again i would absolutely love to see your collection of unreleased unicorns songs if you want to share? digitally or physically? either way is super super cool (i myself have a cd of who will cut our hair when we're gone), i remember finding an old recording of peach moon, haven't really found much else but i'm very interested in hearing more of their unreleased stuff

HIIII i dont really keep good track of the unreleased ones i find BUT right off the top of my head i can give you my **THREE ALL TIME FAVORITE FUCKASS UNFINDABLE UNICORNS SONGS**

haunted house, which as i understand they only performed live a few times and never officially released, its probably in one of their little bootleg cds that they used to make (and i cant find online) because what is an obscure indie band without cds that they bootlegged themselves

peach moon demo?? part 2??? i honestly cant tell which ones which so theres a video with both versions. i gather at least one of them was in their mini cdr three inches of blood but i think its really interesting how insanely different they are.. i take it as a completely separate unreleased song because of that

AND MY FAVORITE. livin in the country.. yes that is the highest quality version of the song i could find. i went on a small rabbithole to find a better recording a while ago and i DID find mention of a radio recording they made in australia , from hank who supposedly was exchanging emails with alden about it (source):

there were like, three links in this thread that allegedly went to better recordings but none of them work and they arent archived so i guess this ones lost. and the end of the thread says that "Livin in the country can't be downloaded, nor should it." so i assume they didnt get that australia recording either. sad! well theres other songs (devastated)

[useless-donut]

oh my god i played through both endings of astarions companion quest and spoilers below - it's really just an extremely long ramble

btw i just mean the finale of his quest, not the ending after the whole game

BOTH ARE SO DEVASTATING AND IM OBSESSED WITH BOTH OPTIONS

i rly like to play like im rping my tavs personality so that'll influence the end i go with on other playthroughs but woof

i love that larian gave us the one consequence that might make the power of ascension not worth it... fundamentally changing how astarion relates to and treats us. i REALLY thought id be chill with this option bc i love a power hungry man & my tav would die for him, but it hit SO much harder than i thought it would. maybe also because it was 2 am. but like im obsessed with the difference because of course it changes him—the man emotionally devastated by seeing his past victims deciding to condemn them all, and 6,000 other souls, for the allure of power and safety? and then reaching that unlimited power?

on one hand, seeing him lose that mix wariness & fondness & softness & bravado was GUTTING but also its very sweet that despite basically ascending to vampire godhood, he so badly wants to keep you around. even if, at the moment, he is still wrapping his head around his power and doesn't really see you as an equal lover anymore, vs. an item arguably at the top of things he wants

the lines where he stays hes toootally joking about calling you a pet and that you'll be too obedient for him to need to compel you, and his desire to keep you as a thrall & not give you agency... those are the lines that really killed me and sold the idea that our relationship was fundamentally altered. the "i love you... is what you want to hear, isnt it?" is also brutal, but astarions almost verbatim said that before lmao so i dont mind it as much, hes just silly

the break up options were really satisfying tho ngl and i love that theres two routes where you apologize for even bringing it up and you stay together, when in the past he'd act shocked if you ever chose to be with him

this ending also REALLY made me want to write a self insert (tav insert) fix it fic where you dump him for being a condescending asshole and after a long period of time and yk pining and mourning on your part, astarions going to finally decide maybe he does want a lover with agency and have like this nice slow burn of his personality resurfacing through all that power

like the vampire ascendant astarion rly felt like it was just like 900 tons of power smooshed into an astarion skin suit, and i love the idea that he would find his way back to himself eventually (but maybe after losing you... so sad... maybe he will come back and do the worst approximation of begging youve ever seen...)

anyway for the other ending, i mean. if youve gotten there you know what i mean. its lovely and bittersweet bc consequences and i think larian went a little too hard on selling us that this was the "good" outcome. however. i dont actually care because i played through it after the former version and WOW it was like the most relieving thing ever? to see him acting like himself again, and also very sweet to see how he relates to us afterwards. really up in my feels about how much he trusts us and also relied on us in that moment to remind him of his priorities. as he both he and us were perfectly aware he is exactly the type of personality to be absolutely corrupted by absolute power lmao (which is cute of him)

i thought it was also very interesting that in that moment you persuade him, he approves—like even in the heat of the moment, he didnt truly want to forget everything he cared about outside of safety and power. i didnt get an approval notif for him when i helped him go through with it, but it could just be bugged lol. anyway i rly love that that moment shows so clearly how ascending is a decision driven by fear and hunger for power, not by considering what he wants out of life

anyway my unfiltered thoughts:

we know a great deal about astarions wants and fears and desires from his story

- he desires freedom more than anything

- but that's not ALL he desires. it's freedom in abstract, but also freedom to be himself and to have a sense of who he even is in the first place. he know he deeply mourns losing touch with who he was when he was alive

- he fears being controlled by others, but has also never shown desire to control others in return

- he wants real intimacy & partnership and was afraid he couldn't figure out how to do it, how to relate to any of it without being coerced

because of all this, i do think the ascended vampire is more tragic for him. as an individual, he is happier, but as astarion, the person we've been getting to know—his new life doesn't meet his needs any better than the non-ascended version does. he'll talk about being free, but all he wants to do is... subjugate the world? control everyone and everything around him? like since when?

what really stood out to me is this man who LOVED the sun, missed it in the underdark, was amazed by seeing baldurs gate in light, he wants to cover everything in darkness. for his thralls he supposedly cares for (after sacrificing 7,000 of them for this power)

imo he gained a lack of fear and he gained safety, but the other things he wanted he didnt rly get, which i have more thoughts on than i really want to write here

umascended, he is still free, maybe less safe but that safety is in his control now, at least. and he probably could still swing a castle and an eternal lover if he wanted (did he even become a full vampire? i feel like he must have somewhere along the way) ngl.

anyway to sum it up, i love him so much both directions and will follow him around forever like a puppy regardless of what path he takes

[schrodingersdragon]

For all closeted witches: I feel your pain, here’s my attempt to help you guys out

Whenever I first started practicing, I was kinda all over the place, just looking for anything I could do that would get the job done but be discrete enough. There are tons of good videos on ways to make secret altars and little ways here and there to do hidden spells, and those are good sources and good things to do, but here are some specific types of witchcraft you can do that don’t look like magic at all:

1.Art magic

Not only is it really easy to get away with as it is literally just making art with magic/ magical intent fused into it, but there are so many things that this covers. Any form of art is acceptable, so not just drawing, but sculpting as well, and things that fit under this umbrella are even music magic and knot magic. Knot magic is infusing your intent or spell into every knot or stitch and can include crochet, embroidery, macrame, hand sewing, knitting, and rope bracelets. Music magic is using music that you either play on your phone or on an instrument to cast your spell or cleanse your space. If you do use an instrument or even sing, write your spells in song form and say the words in your head. It doesn’t even have to be original- just take the melody of an existing song that you either really like or has something to do with your spell and rewrite the words to suit your needs.

2. Kitchen witchery and/or herbalism (/plant magic)

Literally just get into gardening and grow plants and flowers that you pick and use in spells. Or work with the spirits of what you plant. Or both. And if you wanna go further, get into cooking so you can plant herbs in your garden, and use them in kitchen witchery. And you don’t really even need an herb garden if you wanna just do kitchen magic, just use what you have and buy the dried versions of the herbs you need as you go on.

3. Energy witchcraft

You’ll also hear this called energy work, but it’s a form of witchcraft that’s entirely invisible. It is completely built upon the manipulation and usage of your own energy and the energies around you. I’m not the best at explaining things but look up “Ivy the Occultist” on YouTube and watch everything she has about energy manipulation and her video on how to cast a spell and you’re good to go so long as you regularly practice. If you can hide books and your purchases from your parents, I recommend a book called “Psychic Witch” by Mat Auryn. I haven’t been able to read it myself but I’ve heard good things from the witchy YouTubers I trust and it has a lot to do with mental magic

4. Tech magic

This ones kinda difficult to work with, as a lot of it feels more like things we can use as an add on or guide to our practice rather than actual means to cast spells or whatnot, but there are a few things I’ve been trying out or a little while. First, if you can’t have an obvious tarot app, find this app called #SelfCare. It brands itself as a mental mindfulness app, and a lot of it is, but theres also a tarot feature that allows you one card pull a day along with its reversal and tells you what it means. There’s also this flower that you spend like twenty seconds growing and then this other thing where you take clouds away from the moon, and both these features could work as an oracle of sorts. There’s even a candle where you can set intentions with a bay leaf. Charge the app the way you would a real life tool or charge each feature individually, and you’re good to go. I also use another candle app with different colors, and a wedding bouquet maker if I want to use just flowers in a spell. Got Minecraft or some similar alternative? Make your altar in there. Cast your spells in there. There’s a ton of plants and crystals to work with, and even bones. Hell, give the spiders eye a correspondent. Go feral. An alternative to that is setting up your spell in a collage in whatever way best suits you, and whenever you do the thing where you double click your phone button and swipe up to completely close the tab, make that symbolize you sending that spell to the universe or a god or goddess. Use the shit outta emoji spells and send them off the same way. You can even make a summoning circle your notes app, they just won’t be as powerful as irl ones (but only by a little).

5. Glamour magic

Last one I swear. Glamour magic is most commonly used to alter the way one is perceived by others. It’s used a lot by people who need to come off really well to others in their day to day lives, but some parts can be used as cleansing. I’m starting to lose stamina but just look up “The Witch of Wonderlust” and “Chaotic Witch Aunt”’s videos on it and you’ll be good to go.

Misc tips

I lied there’s a little bit more:

Cleanse and charge all your jewelry with whatever intent you desire. If you find you’re very sensitive to other peoples energies, consider making your favorite piece a protection charm.

Get really into crystals. Just say they look really pretty and want them as room decor or even get a bunch of jewelry with them. Even ones that are actually just plastic or glass will work so long as you’re sure to cleanse and charge it with intent

Light candles. There are tons of uses for candles, and I once again recommend researching this on your own

Make sigils and hide them in places you know no one will look or in pen barrels if you write to manifest

BATH/SHOWER MAGIC. I love it so much. And if you live in Louisiana near Lafayette, go to the farmers market by that strip mall that has Twins (the burger place) and the old bowling alley and a few other places and pick up some epsom salt it is homemade and DIVINE. You don’t even need that tho- just imagine all the spiritual gunk from the day washing off you or chant a cleansing mantra

If you can, make moon water or sun water but make sun water SAFELY

If your home is hella catholic, use that. Use the rosaries and those little things you pin on the sun blockers in your car and any religious things you may own to your own magical advantage. Use prayers as spells. Find “Chaotic Witch Aunt”s video on Christianity and witchcraft and it will all make sense but in short: you don’t have to reach out to any of the Christian entities, you can simply use the power those things have to your advantage.

That’s all I’ve got for now, but know that it won’t always be like this. Know that one day you won’t have to hide what you love anymore. You’re not alone, and you will get free one day

[mbat]

every day i wonder what happened during the design process of equestria girls for them to all come out the way they did. i can see where the skirts thing came from cause they wanted them to be undeniably girly i guess or whatever but. every other weird decision is just confusing

like fluttershys whole outfit, the shortish skirt but especially the tank top. maybe its meant to indicate that shes outdoors a lot with animals, but it completely betrays her shyness and tendency to try and hide herself

they kinda messed up big mac and shining armor? mostly shining armor. his jaw could slice metal. why he look like that

also i only realized while looking at the characters that. okay i was just going to say 'lol cheerilees hair is stupid its like 1 foot taller than her head, why didnt they just give her normal bangs wtf' and i still mean that but then i realized... they swapped her mane and fur colors for her human counterpart ??? so now her usually darker coat and light hair became dark hair and light skin ??

which leads me to the point about the skin colors being weird. like. i dont like how they lightened them up, i dont like how aj and big mac have human skin colors (i have to assume maybe they thought for them that the colors looked bad, or possibly even close to caricature territory, especially with big mac), and the way they outright lightened up the colors of at least 2 normally darker ponies? like i said, cheerilee, but also

luna. even back when i first saw the movie and adored it, i DID NOT like the princesses designs. how did they fuck up some of the best characters in the show, especially the ones that are the prettiest (imo).

i would say that of the 3, cadence is the most okay design (i know we dont see her in the first movie just roll with me here). its clearly her, she looks like her and has her vibe (visually), all around not bad. not necessarily my favorite, theres still something slightly off? but it doesnt rub me the wrong way

celestia... i dont like her vibe. who is she. shes light pink and she has hair spikeys that are meant to look like a crown but just made it look like she didnt brush her hair properly. she has celestias hair but her face does not read like celestia to me. she looks like an imposter. where is my mother

and finally. the pinnacle of the issues with the designs. luna.

WHO IS SHE. THAT OUTFIT? NOT LUNA. THAT HAIR? YOU WOULDVE BEEN BETTER OFF JUST DOING A GRADIENT. OR PUTTING IN LITTLE STAR HAIR CLIPS. THAT FACE? THATS SOMEONES WINE MOM WHO SINGS EXTRA LOUD AT CHURCH. same critique about the hair spikeys as before. AND THE SKIN??? HELLO??? THE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT GOT TURNED INTO PRINCESS OF MIDDAY. WHY.

the design of the show vs the movies is, i guess now literally, night and day. pony luna is so inspired and pretty and meant to invoke such regality, its very clear what her theme is, and she very much sticks out amongst the others, both in shape and details!

but the human version feels generic, she could easily be a background character (and she basically was), she feels unfinished, the colors on their own arent the worst but moreso feel insulting when compared to the original (i like the addition of pink/pinkish purple to the palette, but not so much to luna as a character. it just isnt her imo), she doesnt even look like an authority figure aside from obviously looking older than the other characters, let alone being someone meant to be somewhat equivalent to royalty. also again she was a minor character here but its like... her pony version has such a stone strong personality, both when shes freshly back from the moon and later on when shes more grounded and princess-like. human luna is just... generic teacher person. did human luna even ever experience significant isolation and feeling completely unseen by everyone she cared about? doubt it.

and yeah, they significantly lightened her skin ?? why ?? theres literally no reason to do that? she wouldnt look like a caricature unless you somehow chose the wrong colors (how possibly would you), and its not exactly impossible to draw characters with darker skin, again her pony form literally has a dark coat !! but also plenty of people have redesigned her human form to have the right skin color and they look great!! and in general obviously theres plenty of characters with dark skin, like... what was the reason they did that. it just feels gross.

dont cross me when it comes to luna dude i love her so much

anyway yeah its been over 10 years since EG first aired and i loved it back then and i still love it but i think a lot more about character designs now. mlp g4 is known for having these really pleasant and well put together designs with lovely colors (for the most part), its so weird how that gets easily messed up, like in g5, but also still in g4 itself(in the spinoffs and the main show lol)? wish i had the motivation to redesign them all lol, i probably will someday. please go look at redesigns theyre very lovely

[mybuginette]

My favorites fics

So, im a spanish speaker who is still learning english and my teacher said that if i want to improve i need to write/speak more in my ordinary life...and theres no better way of doing that that writing about my hiperfixations on Tumblr, so here i go.

This is the first long post that i do, so im sorry if i have any grammar mistake, im trying i swear 😔✌️ 

So here's the list (without order):

The Growing Pains Of Child Soldiers by BloodWolf13 What do the citizens of Paris do, when they realize that their heroes are literally growing up before their eyes? They freak the fuck out. Or everybody realizes that the heroes of Paris are young teenagers and are a little (extremely) worried about children fighting a terrorist.

I have always been wondering if in canon parisian knows that Ladybug and Chat Noir are just teenagers.

I mean, in season 1 we have Theo having a crush on Ladybug (ik that Thomas said that hes like 16/19 but still weird) so i asumed that people thought that they were adults but then remembered that in Bubbler, he didn't talk to Ladynoir as if they were adults.

Then Sabine is worried about them bc they have been working a lot and this fic shows how it could be if the other adults of paris worried about them too.

It was interesting for me because its like a realistic version of mlb paris socity, the discussions about mental health, ethical dilemmas and literally has a university essay in the first chapter. Its an amazing fic and if somebody knows if the author has a tumblr let me know pls.

Review of Les aventures de Ladybug et Chat Noir by @sunfoxfic Alya Cesaire, moderator and writer for the Ladyblog, reviews the newest movie in France — Les aventures de Ladybug et Chat Noir. How will this movie hold up to the hype? How will it hold up to the truth? All on the Ladyblog.

In-universe fics are my favorites, i like to see the events of the show from the pov of a normal civilian and the love that parisians have for Ladybug and Chat Noir. In this fic we have a review of the Ladybug and Chat Noir movie by Alya, one thing that i found funny is how in-universe Lady and Chat have like 2 or 3 movies while in real life we just got the 1 movie 3 months ago 😭.

Also, its funny that poor Adrien probably was forced by his father to do that role just like in Frightningale and he had to act like Chat Noir good enough for his father but not so good that anybody could tell that it was the same voice.

Miraculously Ladybug? by @the-angst-lord ON HIATUS FOR UNTIL SEASON 5 PROBABLY Marinus "Xiang" Dupain Cheung just wanted to go to school and keep his head down, design clothes, and bake cookies. Instead, he finds himself jumping across rooftops, defeating supervillains and partnered up with a cat who has the ability to destroy anything he touches. What a first day of school. Adrien Agreste just wants friends and the freedom to live his life outside of his father's influence. He's all too eager to become a hero of justice and defend the people of Paris. Gaining a handsome ladybug-themed partner who embodies said ideal is just a bonus.

I really enjoy the genderbend fics and this has to be the best rewrite of the show that i've ever read.Marin has the best features of Marinette, but with his own essence and characterization, when you read you really know that he is a reinterpretation of Marinette character and i looooooooooved him.

The situations, the relationships and the reinterpretation of Chat Blanc was so goooood.

I also loved the Dupain-Cheng family background in Shangai special ✨

(and it has drawings too and the suits are soo pretty)

@the-angst-lord i love your fic man

Perfectly Platonic (Unless…) by @frostedpuffs After accidentally revealing their identities in less than ideal circumstances, Adrien and Marinette must navigate their newfound relationship as both partners and friends. Becoming best friends was a quick process, but when romantic feelings begin to bleed into what's supposed to be a platonic connection, their friendship starts to change in more ways than one. Surely it can't be that hard to hide their feelings from their best friend? (A post-reveal, pre-relationship fic full of romantic crushes, best friend shenanigans, and a whole lot of dumbassery.)

I just lost count of the times that i've re-read this fanfic, the jokes are so funny and Adrinette acting like Ladynoir and Ladynoir acting like Adrinette >>>

These idiots are so horny and so in love, i need more 😭😭

[adanaac]

Could I ask about your OC's? Specifically Ophicucus and Tsuru, I love how majestic Ophi is drawn and Tsuru fascinates me both with the concept and also how lovely you have illustrated him.

I hope you are well, and thank you again for helping me with my questions o7.

Sincerely HMAD.

oh good i get to talk about my son!!

my blorbo my beloved my babygirl he means everything to me

i made him in 2017 so hes sort of grown up with me (or i've grown up and realised things about him that i couldn't have when i was younger. i have so many complicated feelings abt this that i made a short comic about it last year)

to preface this im not a great writer dont expect good writing from me lol all i have is my personal experience and stealing tropes from stories i like

(got a lot to say so its all going under the cut. also a lot of death mention)

So. who is this dude

Tsuru (not his real name in-story, i havent come up with one im happy with), 18 years old, a ghost

he has a little sister, Ori, 15, who was meant to be my sona but then i just drew him more and like drawing him more anyway

first 2 drawings i ever did of him. he was based off natori natsume yuujinchou at this point, i dont remember why or if i even liked natori that much, but i remember distinctly hes based off him

u may have noticed he sort of looks older in my older art. this is because first of all art style drift lol but also as ive gotten older ive figured out that 18 isnt actually that old.

theres also a black haired version of him (two actually) its basically something like this ⬇️

important to know that everything about this dude is a convoluted metaphor

i lovingly summarize white tsuru as "people pleaser" and black tsuru as "nihilist prick" in my head and those are the things consistent throughout all the AU versions of him

(important differences only to me) alive tsuru doesnt act like black tsuru at all thats just his warped self perception (he also doesnt act exactly like white tsuru either)

also alive tsuru has black eyes and the shortest hair, black tsuru has blue eyes and slightly longer hair (also white tsuru is slightly taller than both of them)

if they all existed at the same time they would hate each other on sight but fortunately (unfortunately?) he is just 1 dude with issues

the general vibe is white tsuru is the "yippee floaty trickster" brand of ghost and black tsuru is the sort of ghost in horror media that stands just outside your field of view in the darkness dripping with blood

for the longest time only white haired tsuru was a "character", "black haired tsuru" existed just as his corpse at most, a footnote

but over the past 2 years ive figured that hes actually really fun to draw and play with, and in a different way than white tsuru

(wait fuck isnt this just abe trio. i do always almost accidentally draw tsuru when im trying to draw haruaki.... fuck.....)

(ive had tsuru for long enough that i just keep tacking details from my fav characters onto him.....)

halls smp

so ive been on this minecraft roleplay server called halls smp with other artists for the past 2 years, theres a new season of it every few months with a different theme each time to keep things fresh and ive just been making AU versions of tsuru for it so ive had a lot of opportunity to think about him

season 1 - halloween - jiangshi tsuru

this one is almost entirely unchanged from his base characterization because i didnt want to rp too much and also didnt know there would be future seasons at this point (also basically after the first day i gave up on being called "tsuru" bc its too hard to pronounce and everyone called me canada anyway)

same basic story, guy dies and theres now a white haired version of him (actually this is the same for all the AUs). in fact im pretty sure the black haired version of this one is exactly base alivetsuru. basically what ive been interested in exploring is different kinds of death, the events leading up to it, and what kind of person he becomes afterwards (but also in equal amounts im interested in making fun designs and playing minecraft and fucking around)

(this feels like the start of the beginners guide...)

i associate him with doves and at the time, tarot card 18: the moon, but in retrospect i now think he's card 0: the fool.

season 2 - winter - ishmael

guy who died at sea and eaten by a interdimensional whale and got isekaied. loosely conceptually based off moby dick, although i havent actually read it LOL but i did spend a week reading up on drowning and hypothermia

strangely, his death didnt create a white haired version of him, perhaps because he didnt have anything in life to give up his identity and replace it with. (and also remember the hair color doesnt actually mean dead/alive)

im only calling him ishmael now in retrospect, at the time he was just tsuru/canada

while designing him i had the biggest crisis bc i didnt want him to look to much like this old old oc i had (pic 1) but then i sucked it up and went with it anyway

i never got around to drawing it but his fingers are black from frostbite thats why he wears gloves all the time.

hes one of my favorite iterations of tsuru he looks so mad or upset all the time it makes me want to tease him, and also i think the grey skin and eyebags are very cute

i associate him with whales and tarot card 18: the moon

season 3 - golden grove - fox tsuru

honestly i think this is my favorite design of him i kinda popped off. i think im just a lot more comfortable working with warm colors. and also i associate white tsuru with foxes anyway (black tsuru is totally a catboy btw) (why is he not associated with cranes if his name is tsuru you ask?? bc cranes are hard to draw next question. he did start out based off cranes tbf, thats where the white hair and the tallness comes from)

dead fox possessing his dead human friend's body (although thats only the most literal interpretation of events; in all these iterations there's only ever been 1 person) the white tsurus are mostly interested in "moving on", whatever that means to each of them

btw my banner on this blog is him

hes sort of a set with s2 tsuru to me, mostly bc theyre the ideals that "white tsuru" and "black tsuru" hold taken to the extremes, and also theyre on opposite ends of the "hates people hates talking" and "loves to talk and mess with people" scale

anyway. hes tarot card 10: wheel of fortune to me

season 4 - wild west - mirage

the desert dragon, mirage. this is the season i started giving them actual names that arent "tsuru" and putting actual thought into the story lol previously it was just vibes-based character design. i have a short thing written about him thats meant to be the script for a comic, but i never got around to drawing it.

a sandworm-esque dragon that got tired of being a dragon and took up a passing witch's offer to give him a human form. this is all a metaphor i think. he has longer hair bc i wanted to spice things up a little

(also i consider this a form of death bc he left behind a giant sandworm/dragon skeleton somewhere in the desert)

the mirage-dragon thing comes from the shen 蜃 (which is used in the chinese word for mirage, 海市蜃楼 haishi shenlou, literally translating to "ocean city and shen's castle"). it's a clam-like dragon that produces foam that creates mirages over the ocean.

if u read "even if you slit my mouth", this is what the "shinkiro" or "shin" in recent chapters is. (i had one of those "smug because i already know all about the mythological creature a story is referencing" moments, which i also had with the four gods in yohaji bc i used to translate a game that mentioned them too)

isnt it romantic in a way? that the two places mirages are most known for happening are the ocean and the desert.

i dont have too much art of him because around this time i was uhhh (checks calendar) got back into yohaji and got consumed by it for a couple months lol (can u even blame me. it was july to september that was when like chapter 91 came out lol)

an earlier version of his design that i didnt end up using but i still really like this art

hes tarot card 9: the hermit to me

season 5 - fairytales/medieval - ophiuchus

NO FUCKING WAY YOURE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS for this one i actually ironed out what kind of people the black haired and white haired versions of him are. and also specifically this one isnt black tsuru but alive tsuru

i have a short poem thing about him, to summarize its like so many other fairytales about grateful animals granting their saviors something, but it doesnt end well for anyone

hes based off ophiuchus and asclepius of course, but also a lot of other snake stories in general, like the lindwurm and baishezhuan

to reiterate, for none of these stories do i consider there to ever actually have been 2 separate people, its always just 1 fucked up guy

i also sort of consider him to be a set with mirage, for both being serpents, and also for being "black tsuru whose personality is like white tsuru" and "white tsuru whose personality is like black tsuru", thereby codifying for myself that to him, someone who's stuck in his own head a lot, what matters most to him is his ideals, what all his actions are in pursuit of

he's tarot card 12: the hanged man to me

bonus: dnd character - alba

i also have a version of him i play for dnd, named alba to match with my party who all have color themed names. a halfling ranger who's very small and very loud. except he has amnesia and cant remember anything from before he was 12 (hes around 18 now according to him), including that he's actually a changeling who just transformed into a halfling to seem older than he is to work at a bar and nearly died in a bar fight.

(if you spend as much time fretting over semantics as me, you may note that changelings are medium sized and cannot transform into halflings which are small sized, for which my explanation is that he's been in halfling form since he was a kid, and after the amnesia he thought he actually was a halfling. this is also why his hair is white btw bc changelings have white hair. pre-amnesia in his "actual" halfling transformation he had black hair. i care too much about semantics but hey isnt dnd the semantics game anyway?)

anyway congrats alba for being the only version of tsuru that hasn't outright "died"!! if only because dnd has actual rules and i can't pull my usual death-ghost nonsense as easily!!!

hes very ship of theseus to me, all versions of him are. what makes up a person? what defines them? is it their face, their appearance, their name? their personality, their memories, their ideals? if you slowly replace each of those, one at a time, with a copy thats very similar to the original, at what point are you a different person?

as thanks for reading all of this i'll reveal what some of the metaphors are, the core of who tsuru, as a character, is to me. maybe this is fairly obvious, but all the death and personality weirdness stuff is a convoluted metaphor for depression and autism, as well as the experience of reading the things you've written years ago, seeing old photos and others talking about who you were years ago and finding that person wholly unfamiliar, that you understand the thought process of that person no more than you would a stranger's, as a result of having taken apart your identity and replaced it piece by piece with things from people you like more than yourself.

im always scared of scrutinizing tsuru too hard because he's just a weird reflection of myself, and i think i'll only be able to write a version of him thats more of a "whole person" once i figure that out for myself. the only way you see your own reflection is through a mirror after all, a flattened 2D surface.

haha this got kinda weird and depressing and personal at the end (mostly bc ive been writing this in the middle of the night, its now 4am)

after seeing my soul laid bare like this, if theres one takeaway, i think its pretty obvious why i'm so enamored by the parts of yohaji that i talk about often (huh wasnt this a post about my oc why did it become about yohaji)

oh yeah i just realised u probably also wanted to hear more about my yohaji version of tsuru specifically. honestly theres not really more to it i just like drawing him in situations. like of course the same themes apply but i just like drawing this dude thats 90% the reason hes my sona. like heres a pokemon au of him i drew recently bc i wanted to draw them as kids and also as pokemon gijinkas

anyway thats all. not really bc i could go on and on about him but this is way too long and also way too personal at this point. i think about him a disproportionate amount, i only have 2 other ocs i remotely care about and the extent of my thoughts for those guys is "i think hes fun 👍"

this has probably also been like, the 3rd most comprehensive description of tsuru that ive made, 1st being the thoughts in my head and 2nd being the past 5 years worth of DMs with my friend who i talk about tsuru with

(why was this sort of structured like the beginners guide. if youve seen the beginners guide tell me if im right or delusional. if u havent, go watch a playthrough of it, have an existential crisis, and then afterwards tell me)

[mushtoons]

YOU HAVE NO FUVKJN CLUE WHAT KIND OF SHIT LEONARDO HAMATO DOES TO ME. GODDAMN. theres a reason im obsessed w this boy and those reasons are Many. hes just like every other leo if they got a moment to be a person and it drive me fuckin nuts. bonkers, even. hes still analytical he still cares with all his heart hed still do anything to keep them safe and hell still do it alone he still cares about tradition and the status quo and he refuses to show that he cares both because he doesnt want to break that status quo as hes not the eldest anymore and because he doesnt want to stop being able to be carefree and happy. but hes still made up of a leader (he still wears red beneath his blue, a mask that doesnt hide a thing-and the leader wears red, doesnt he, doesnt he?) and god, hed still do anything to keep them safe. hes still the head, and the legacy, and. karai. you are not alone. and yet, both her and leo, they readily threw themselves into a prison that they thought theyd never escape from. no one is alone. except for them. because they have to, this is their duty, this is their comeuppance, they have to be a hero, they have to be the savior. and leos closeness with karai and. and when they leave karai and then when they leave raph, both times, he has to be dragged away. and he locks himself in a prison dimension. and hes calling casey 'case' by the end of the movie, and his supposed last words to him are to say hes proud. and hes so bright and kind and annoying. and. theres just. god theres so much i could say about leo. i use jokes to cope, with my last breath i told you so, hero moves are totally your style, youve been portal chopped. and he only cries in the prison dimension. the moment that portal opens he stops. and he doesnt say a thing between youve been portal chopped and. and, 'took you guys long enough'. like he knew theyd save him. and mikeys portals were a miracle. and he left a katana there. and its a belief of mine that, afterwards, hes more subdued and careful and out of the way. its not about me. and maybe he pushes that too far. and maybe, hes always worked hard to keep his hurt from them, so they dont have to bother with it. mikey needs more help, donnie is more sickly, raph is trying so hard. that last thought was off the hook idk abt that one yet dont take it too seriously. but anyways i think a lot abt him and caseys relationship too. the gentle carefulness that could bloom there alongside bright burning youth and love and hope. and casey was their final stand, and he did it. and he told him, i dont wanna lose you again. and like..just. leos everything. the masks he hides behind and the person underneath and how its clear he cares and..leo is the soul. mikey is the heart and donnie is the mind and raph is the body and leo is the soul. tuning the background noise and guiding them, quiet or loud, whatever he needs to be. and just..the way he always quietly led them and his smarts and how he got to be someone and how he still tries to throw that away and how clear it is he doesnt care for himself the way he does others and how that reflects in future leo concepts and how much I know he would care for this younger versions of himself and. and how bright he is, how annoying yet loveable and so, so interesting he is. this was so scrambled but idc i love him so much. if you want more of my coherent leo thoughts point a thing out this was summary and i DO have SO many thoughts on the prison dimension as a whole (four poems actually), casey and leos relationship (a whole post and then a much larger section in a doc), the peepaw and leo (again A WHOLE DOC for peepaw concepts), and general analysis on the boy (yet again a whole doc). also sorry if this was a bit much lmao he means a lot 2 me

DHDHDJD HOLY SHIT THIS IS A LOT /POS

LMAOOO WE CAN TELL WHO YA FAVORITE IS /LH BUT THIS IS SO DJJDJFDJDJD SO DETAILED AND JUST ❤️❤️

[bluevelvet-room]

please talk to me about naokei :3 dont mess with the naokei fandom theres like 5 of us

ohoho anon. i promise you with my entire heart that i am one of those 5. not a day goes by that i'm not thinking about those boys. now, to preface any ramblings that may happen after this, i will say: a lot of how i view naoya's character has to do with the manga, but not All of it. i've never actually read the manga, just played the game (smt persona, not revelations). i basically treat the smt persona characters like they are my own personal blorbos in my head, and i am not responsible for anything that might not align with your own view of naokei (though all views of naokei are valid)

ANYWAYS. (under a readmore for the rambling, hope it works)

in my head, their relationship doesn't happen until post game. i mean, obviously i dont really think it should happen while they are going through the worst questionable amount of days of their life, but i also dont really want it to happen during their school years either. naoya has some healing to do and kei has some growing up to do. i do think at this point kei has a crush on naoya, but that it is not necessarily reciprocated.

BUT, being wayyyy more detailed about my own personal naokei (the naokei that lives in my brain and is therefore superior) i do have a version of this vague thought where they do like. kiss during the events of the game, similarly to naoya recieving a kiss from fake maki - kei initiates, naoya gently rejects. and then it is a game of sort of avoiding each other in a fun misunderstanding way and everyone else is like guys what tf happened??? you were fine and now we can't get you to be in the same room for longer than two seconds? annoying!!!! once they graduate, kei goes off as he canonically does to work in his own company to become Humbled, and naoya leaves for new york city with yuka and mark to study art (hehe. artist friends :3 yuka's studying for fashion design but she is also modeling. no we couldnt get thru anything related to smt persona without me bringing her up)

and then the events of persona 2 (and part 2 electric boogaloo) happen. no i havent played them we dont need to talk about it. what i DO know is that at the end of the second one the st hermelin bitches have a reunion and naoya appears there. convenient, yes? (i had to go look it up to make sure i had not made this up) naoya has had time to heal and trust close relationships, kei has matured. their friends wont shut up about the "fight" they had in high school, they wont stop insisting they never fought and they are Not avoiding each other. they are both tipsy to full on drunk. they leave the bar together. they either fuck or have a heartfelt conversation or both. either way they are dating by the next day. (and then a few years later in p1 parents au they adopt baby akira, bc this is fully canon to that au)

i really like their dynamic in the end bc it's like. you'd think theyre total opposites but they actually have a lot in common? and they love each other :3c

in conclusion.

naoya, was playing pokemon the entire time they were in a nightmare hellscape: in case you haven't noticed, i'm a gamer. i game. i don't stop gaming. and i dont want to stop gaming. you ever see me without this stupid gameboy in my hands? that's video games.

kei: what's a pokeman????????

(sorry if this is not what you wanted from me anon, and i'm sure i can pull more thoughts out of my ass if anyone ends up interested)