#without alcohol

[sheenaisapunkstripprr]

My next job after stripping is gonna be the shit, my next job is gonna be the shit..

[ao3-crack]

(x)

[shapelytimber]

✨Le dernier jour du disco✨

[PRINT] - [COMMISSIONS]

Sketch and thumbnail below vvv

I've wanted to experiment with a looser and quicker painting style, and what better way to do that than with a Disco Elysium fanart ?

I imagine this happening like the day before the game begins. The last day of disco for pre amnesia Harry Tequila sunset

PS : You should go listen to "le dernier jour du disco" by Juliette Armanet <3 this was the song that inspired me for this

PSS : I won't be remembered for my subtilty

[lunacias]

these are the silt verses, and I name our disciples thus

[wylldebee]

Bioware missed an opportunity by not having the inquisitor's family/clan/mercenary group make an appearance in Skyhold. It would have given a nice lull in world saving and expand on your Inquisitor's past a bit more. Like can you imagine your Inquisitor being woken up in the morning by Josephine rushing into your chambers to tell you your family/clan/mercenary group has basically invaded Skyhold within the small hours of the morning and are demanding/asking to see you? What would your inquisitor's reaction be?

[atlas-hope]

I’m normal about the british insects

[crimeronan]

people being like "hunter needs structure and stability" respectfully hunter DOES need stability - in that he needs an environment where he's no longer afraid of the people around him & is confident that he'll always have a safe place to stay n safe people to call - but the kid absolutely DOES NOT need structure. if anything hunter needs LESS structure. this is mister "teens are probably into the same things as me, like authority and rules" please be nice to him.

my absolute favorite hunter darius dynamic is one with like, hunter asking to stay out late on a school night or whatever bc luz has some cool-as-shit event happening in the human world that he wants to attend & darius is just like "you can do whatever you want forever" & hunter's like "aren't you...??? going to....??? give me a curfew????"

darius: why would you need a curfew?

hunter: because i-! what if i'm TIRED before SCHOOL

darius: then you can skip a day.

hunter: [HORRIFIED GASP]

darius: kid. look. you already extensively weighed the risks and benefits of going to this thing on a school night. right?

hunter: ......i did make three charts.

darius: and you determined that the benefits outweigh the risks. with your three charts

hunter: .....yes

darius: ok.

hunter:

darius: so.

hunter:

darius: in conclusion. you can do whatever you want forever.

[sunflowerdigs]

I keep imagining the Avengers bursting into the citadel at the end of time in a righteous fury because they assume that Loki is up to no good, only to find him and Mobius making banana pancakes for "breakfast" and slow-dancing around their kitchen to Kokomo by the Beach Boys.

[radicrow]

if you had the strength to take another sip, could you do it?

[impishtubist]

double date

Behold, the dumbest thing I have ever written. I inflicted this on a handful of Discord pals a while back, but you know what? Everyone should be made to suffer from my terrible writing 😂

-------

“Padfoot, calm down.” Remus lays a hand on Sirius’s, stopping him from further shredding his empty straw wrapper. 

“I am calm.”

“Mate, you’re literally vibrating.” James is sitting on Sirius’s other side, and he puts a hand on Sirius’s knee, stilling his bouncing leg. “It’s just Regulus.”

“Just Regulus?” Sirius hisses. “I haven’t seen him since I was seventeen, James! This isn’t just Regulus, this is huge!”

“I know,” Remus says soothingly. “But you being a nervous wreck isn’t going to make this any easier.”

Sirius sags a bit in his seat. “I want this to go well, Moony.” 

“It will. This was his idea, after all. That’s promising, isn’t it?”

“S’pose so.” Sirius straightens in his seat, brightening a little. “Think it’s a good sign that he wants to introduce me to his boyfriend, too.” 

“It was sweet of him to suggest a double date,” Remus says, casting James a significant look. James shrugs, unapologetic.

“Like I’m going to pass up a chance to see Baby Black and his boyfriend,” he says cheerfully. “What do you think? Think Reggie’s dating a Muggle?”

Sirius’s entire face lights up, and he cackles. “A Muggle! Oh, Prongs, that’d be brilliant. Might put Mother in an early grave, too.” 

The door opens then, and Regulus steps into the pub. Sirius goes completely still, eyes wide, so Remus raises a helpful hand to flag him down. Regulus catches sight of them, and hesitates for a moment before making his way over to their table. He’s followed by a tall man with long black hair and--

Snape.

It’s Snape. 

Regulus is dating Severus fucking Snape.

The waiter appears at their table at the same time Regulus and Snape do. Remus raises his hand.

“Five Firewhiskeys, please,” he says while James and Sirius openly gape at the newcomers. The waiter smiles politely.

“A round for the table, then?”

“Oh, no, those are all for me.” 

The waiter departs, and Regulus pulls out the chair across from Sirius. Snape’s eyes flick between James and Remus, and he eventually chooses the seat across from Remus. Remus gives him his biggest, most wolfish grin, and Snape quickly looks away. 

“Brother,” Regulus says. 

“Reggie,” Sirius squeaks. “What the fuck--”

Remus digs his fingers into Sirius’s thigh. “What Sirius means is, it’s great to see you.” 

“Yeah,” Sirius says, his voice only slightly strangled. “Yeah, Reggie, it’s great to see you. Thanks…thanks for suggesting this. And for bringing your, um.” 

“Fiance,” Regulus says.

“Fiance?” Sirius and James burst out, looking horrified. 

“That’s great, Regulus,” Remus says through gritted teeth, kicking Sirius under the table. “Isn’t it?”

James recovers first. “Yeah, it’s--that’s great. Love is…great.” 

Sirius draws a deep breath, visibly pulling himself together. “I’m really happy for you, Regulus. Shall we, um, decide what to order?”

The waiter returns with Remus’s Firewhiskeys, takes their food orders, and goes off again. Sirius clears his throat.

“So, um, Severus,” he says, and the name sounds like it only pains him a little to say, “what is it you do?”

“I’m the Potions Master at Hogwarts,” Snape says. Remus cringes inwardly--those poor students--and knocks back his first shot. 

“What about you, Regulus?” he asks.

“I’m--”

“Regulus doesn’t work,” Snape cut in. 

“Doesn’t work?” Sirius repeats.

“He doesn’t need to.” 

“That’s right,” Regulus says. “I’m…taking care of the household.” 

“But you wanted to be a potioneer,” James says, and he sounds pained.

Regulus stares at him. “You remember that?”

“‘Course I remember it,” James says quietly. “Thought you’d be brilliant at it. You wanted to open a shop in Diagon Alley and everything. What happened?”

“Oh, er, nothing. It’s just…not really for me.”

“That doesn’t sound like you at all.”  

The tension at the table increases tenfold. Remus takes a second shot. 

“If that makes you happy, Reggie, I support it,” Sirius says abruptly. “It…sounds great. Staying home and…looking after Severus’s…things.” 

“I’m a trophy husband, too,” Remus says with a wink. “I have no complaints.” 

Regulus gives him a tight smile. “Yes, I’m sure I’ll…get used to it.” 

“He’ll take care of the children, too,” Snape says, and Remus chokes on his third shot. 

“When the time comes,” Regulus says hastily, patting Snape’s arm. 

“I think you’ll be singing a different tune on our wedding night,” Snape purrs, and Remus grabs Sirius’s wrist before he can draw his wand. 

“Yes, when is the wedding?” he asks.

“This summer,” Snape says. “That leaves us with plenty of time to ensure that he’s with child by the time term begins.” 

“What, you’re going to knock him up and then leave him?” James asks. 

“Yes, we agreed that was best,” Regulus says.

“If it makes you happy,” Sirius says again, though this time it’s through gritted teeth.

“Indeed. There’s no need for me to be around for…the unpleasantness of pregnancy,” Snape says, waving a hand. 

“Raising children is very, um, rewarding,” Remus says quickly, while Sirius makes a noise like a wounded animal. The room’s getting a bit blurry, and he feels very light. 

“Rewarding, yeah,” Sirius says in a high-pitched voice. He clears his throat. “R-right, Jamie?”

“Yep, yeah, greatest thing I’ve ever done. I love staying home with Haz,” James says. “‘Specially now that I only have him half the time.” 

Regulus’s eyes snap to James. “You broke up with Evans?”

James blinks. “Er, yeah. Divorced about a year ago. We’ve been doing the whole co-parenting thing and it’s going really well, though.” 

Light pink dusts Regulus’s cheeks, and--oh.

Oh, that would make sense. That would make so much sense. How had he missed it?

Remus grabs his fourth shot and polishes it off. He then raises the fifth shot and says, “A toast!” 

“A toast?” Regulus, James, and Sirius echo.

“To the happy couple.” Remus pushes Sirius’s glass at him, water sloshing over the sides. “C’mon, Pads. Toast your brother and his--and his happiness.” 

Sirius lifts his glass, looking like he’s swallowed something sour. “Er--right. To Regulus and Sn-Severus. May you, um…” 

“Have a very happy life together,” James jumps in when Sirius falters. 

“Right, that. And…love one another forever?”

“And be fruitful and multiply,” Remus says cheerfully.

Now it’s Regulus’s turn to look like he’s tasted something bitter, but Snape practically leers. 

“Oh, we will,” he says, leaning in to kiss Regulus.

Bang!

Snape is thrown out of his chair and crashes into the wall behind him, cracking his head on the bricks before landing in a crumpled heap on the floor. 

“James!” Sirius exclaims in outrage.

“It wasn’t me!” James protests.

“It was me,” Regulus says with a sniff. “Honestly. The nerve of him. I told him I wanted to wait until the wedding night.” 

Remus hands his last Firewhiskey shot to Regulus, who downs it without blinking. 

“You’re not in love with Snape,” he says, and Regulus pulls a face.

“Of course I’m not.” 

“Then why did you tell me you were bringing your boyfriend to meet us!” Sirius demands. 

“Because it’s what people do, Sirius,” Regulus says. 

“What people?”

“People who are meeting their estranged brother and his husband for the first time in years!” Regulus sighs. “I can’t go on a double date with my brother if I don’t have a date.” 

“Wait, did you--did you pretend to date Snape and then get engaged to him just so you would have a reason to reach out to me?”

“Well, he didn’t think it was pretend.” Regulus sniffs again. “I’m very convincing, you know.” 

“You didn’t--”

Regulus’s lip curls. “Of course not. I told him I was a virgin and waiting for our wedding night. I should probably be insulted by how easily he bought that. Potter, what are you doing over there?”

James blinks at him. “What?”

“This is a double date, isn’t it?” Regulus gestures at the now-empty chair next to him. “I need a date.” 

“Oh!” James scrambles over to the other side of the table. “Right, of course. Hello.” 

“Hello.”

“You look amazing, you know.”

Regulus blushes. “Yes, you’ve been staring at me since I sat down. Awfully rude of you, with my fiance right there.”

James looks pained. “He’s not your fiance anymore, is he?”

“Merlin, no.”

“What,” Sirius whispers to Remus, “is happening right now?”

Remus pats his shoulder. “I think the wedding is still on.”

“Different groom, though, right?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely.”

[strawglicks]

flint getting themselves into trouble cuz its funny

[laniidae-passerine]

I made my post about Dean Highbottom and then as I was writing my tags realised that his Hunger Games counterpart is Haymitch. and now my head is in my hands and I don’t think I’ll ever recover

[skunkes]

[salsedinepicta]

Extremely tired but I had a ✨vision✨ inspired by ten years as a commuter and I just had to sketch it. He started snoring/drooling a little bit after 0.25 seconds but somehow Hawke still found it sooo endearing.

+ bonus / relatable aftermath

[thunder-sea]

Spoilers for Fontaine Act 5 and previous archon quests!

-

What's really sad about Furina is that she has been seeing what is a god in human terms. She sees them as perfect, unmovable deities rather than beings who do make mistakes, therefore trying to become 'perfect', lovable, and unmoving herself.

She hasn't had the chance to actually meet/get to know the archons like the traveler has, hence why she has such a naive worldview of what is a 'god', while we know them as imperfect (and sometimes silly) beings.

The archons we've got to meet have had little knowledge on how humans work, made mistakes that would affect their own living, have made enough bad decisions to start a civil war, have had their own people doubt and hurt them, have cried, have tried to lay low, have been beaten, have felt heartache, etc etc...

This whole demanding act that Furina put upon herself was sometimes unnecessarily harsh on herself, because archons are more human than she thinks.

[justarandomhelluvablog]

sorry sorry last time I'm talking about huskerdust tonight but does it fuck anyone else up knowing that Husk and Angel basically lived at the same time but were on opposite sides of the country. But also Husk went traveling. Like these two could have met while they were alive and wouldn't even know it. They didn't even know the other existed until they met at the hotel

Like I have. so many thoughts about this.