#world's lamest superhero

[cecoeur]

World’s lamest superhero | 2024 Spanish Grand Prix | 📸 - Vince Mignott

[maxwell-grant]

Nice to find another VentureBros fan ! Who are your favorite characters ?

I'm actually gonna rank this as something of a Top 8. Honorable mentions include: Rusty Venture, Dean Venture post Season 4, Shore Leave, The Blue Morpho/Vendata, Hunter Gathers and Professor von Helping.

8: Wide Wale

I think just conceptually the idea of Whale/Shark Kingpin as a major player in a superhero setting is just a very appealing combination to me personally. I'm a sucker for sealife-themed characters, especially if they are shark themed but whales are great too, and Wide Wale's a sealife-themed pastiche of one of my favorite superhero villains with this really great, really distinct voice, and like so many of Venture Bros' best characters, it really doesn't take long before you wind up forgetting what he's meant to be a caricature of and just fully buy the character just as much, if not more, as the thing they're supposed to be making fun of or referencing. I think Wide Wale, even while being a lot more straightforward and simple than so many other characters, is a great example of that. I think even at a really basic level, he's genuinely a cool character and an example of how the show’s approach to it’s characters had matured since the early seasons, and apparently so thought the creators, which is why they didn't kill him off in Season 7.

The episode was born from a single Jaws joke: Wide Wale dying in his pool just like Spielberg's shark. "But when we got around to writing it, we're like, 'Well, we don't want to kill Wide Wale, he's awesome," Hammer said. "But I got it stuck in my head that we had to do a Jaws joke. But instead of doing a Jaws joke, we created a longform love letter to deep-cut Jaws jokes. - Jackson Publick

I like that right from the start he's established as the leading supervillain in NYU, and because this is Venture Bros and there's a lot more supervillains running around than superheroes, to the point it mainly falls to the supervillains to kinda police each other so things don’t get too out of hand, Wide Wale is less the main villain and more this big presence that stuff tends to orbit around, much like The Ventures and The Monarch themselves. I love that he pointedly refuses the seat he’s offered at the highest echelon of villainy, because he’s got business to take care of and because he doesn’t vibe with the idea. I love “This? This isn’t me.” as an explanation for it. I love what it says about him compared to the other villains.

I really like his interactions with other characters like Sheila and his bodyguard Rocco and his daughter, and that he does have a family that ends up humanizing him a lot and even revealing that, keeping with the show's tradition, he is kind of a pathetic fuck-up. All he wanted was to make his brother proud, and despite being really dedicated to his family, he's too blinded and self-centered to notice the ways he ends up smothering them. 

Big shot mob boss as a doting yet corny dad to his daughter? Cliche, but cute. Big shot supervillain kingpin who happens to be the younger brother of a one-off gag character, who 100% adores and looks up to his scientist big brother even in their separate ways, to the point that said gag character can show up and pull his ear while he haphazardly tries to hide his gritty mob business from him? It’s pure Venture Bros. 

7: Brock Samson

I think it’s kind of a given that, even if Brock isn’t among your favorite VB characters general, he’s definitely most people’s favorite when they start watching the show. Because while it takes for Doc and the boys to really come on their own as characters and The Monarch’s still being ironed out, Brock is a pretty complete character from the get-go. He’s the world’s biggest badass, stuck with the world’s lamest and most self-destructive explorers, a much more dynamic sort than the Ventures who also doesn’t have as much room to grow and change as they do at first. Despite seeming like it, he is not the protagonist, he’s the sidekick holding the whole thing together (a dynamic they would later repurpose for Henchman 21, who grows into a mini-Brock in his own right). By all means, he should be out there saving the world with supermodels hanging onto his biceps, but instead he’s busy slaughtering shmucks in butterfly costumes while babysitting a failed scientist and his idiot sons, and occasionally arguing about the merits of Led Zeppelin with their nanny robot, which goes a long way in helping ground Brock’s over-the-top badassery in just the right amount of indignity so he doesn’t feel out of place in the show and stays more than just a one-note caricature.

Brock carries the show a lot over the first two seasons, which makes his departure and eventual return that much more significant and ends up giving Brock and the show a lot of room to grow, solo and together. The cynical premise behind a lot of what makes Brock funny ends up becoming horrifying as we get more stories from the villain and henchmen point of view and also grows into a series of great dynamics, as Brock The Swedish Murder Machine gives more way to Brock The Murder Dad. A Brock who’s a part of the family, a Brock who Hank looks up to and imitates as an uncle and father and hero, a Brock who’s as great on the lead as he’s in a secondary role. A Brock who’s got friends and partners and enemies and whose interesting life outside of the Ventures actually does feel like a rich inner world for him, a Brock who doesn’t need to carry the show or the Ventures anymore, and ends up growing more as a comfortable presence to the audience, which is a funny word to use for a disemboweling enthusiast who’s single-handedly filled entire graveyards. I know some people miss twitchy-eyed Murder Machine Brock, but I wouldn’t trade Murder Dad Brock for anything, his dynamic with Hank is real special to me.

6: DOCTOR BYROON ORPHEUS *musical sting

The big problem I have with Dr Strange in general is that, despite really loving some of the comics I’ve read of him (particularly Into Shamballa and Triumph and Torment), despite him being conceptually a character I should deeply adore (Vincent Price as the world’s greatest wizard whose niche is combining weird and horrific pulp cosmology with psychedelic superhero visuals), most of the time, Strange as a character bores and annoys me way more often than I’d like him  to, especially starting with his 2010s appearences that have modeled him after his teeth-grindingly boring MCU portrayal and made him magic Tony Stark / BBC’s Sherlock. I get that’s like, his deal now, I just find it depressingly basic.

I bring this up because a lot of what I love about Dr Orpheus is that, while he doesn’t have the benefit of starring in his own stories, Orpheus takes everything great and endearing about Dr Strange and cranks it to eleven. His dialogue is completely unmistakable from everyone else’s, even without Stephen Rattazzi’s brilliant voice and that iconic music sting. Dr O gets really, really funny lines despite being ostensibly one of the more serious characters of the show (Do not be too hasty entering that room...I HAD TACO BEEELLLL FOR LUNCH!). Even in episodes where Orpheus only shows up to fix a problem or do a small cameo, he dines on the scenery in a way no other character does, and it’s no small feat in a show full of over-the-top personalities. 

I also really like that Orpheus is overall one of the nicest characters of the show. He’s still flawed, he can be pedantic and pathetic and irritable and petty and arrogant, his dedication to his work and know-it-all attitude soured his relationships with his ex-wife and daughter, and he gets dragged for his flaws quite a bit in-universe to the point everyone’s kinda annoyed at him much of the time, but he’s also one of the most unambiguously good characters in-universe, and in a show chock full of some of the worst parents imaginable, it’s definitely nice to have at least one dad who genuinely tries to be the best he can be, even if that involves wiping his daughter’s memories every now and then, and ultimately accepting that his efforts to protect her have only held her back and that she’s really better off doing exactly what he didn’t want for her.  I enjoy every scene he’s in and I really enjoy just listening to Orpheus’s dialogue and voice, he’s a very fun character and if nothing else Orpheus is why I wish that Order of the Triad spin-off took off. Even if it sucked, I would gladly watch and listen to Orpheus forever.

5: Dr Girlfriend / Dr Mrs The Monarch / Sheila / Dr Mrs-Whatever-Now

There’s been a lot said about how poorly a lot of jokes made in adult cartoons tend to age, especially those starting in the early 2000s, and likewise a lot of Venture Bros fans who’ve stuck with the show can’t help but admit that the first three seasons have a lot of jokes and moments that have aged poorly (Doc Hammer himself derides the episode “Love Bheits” as homophobic). And on the other hand, Venture Bros has also been praised for it’s willingness to experiment with gender-divergent characters and openly tackle questions about identity and sexuality long before other cartoons picked up the slack, and Dr Girlfriend is one example of that. On any other show, “hot woman with a deep masculine voice” would have been the source of one-off gags and transphobic jokes, jokes that make said woman the target of ridicule. But that’s not what Venture Bros does with Dr Girlfriend:

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch started as a parody of Jackie Kennedy, including her iconic deep, raspy voice that was then elevated (or, in this case, physically lowered) by Doc Hammer for the character. I’ve watched a lot of comedies where trans women or crossdressing cis men are the butt of the joke. It’s kind of my brand to subject myself to such things. So, I can recognize the comedic beats that lead to a punchline or “surprise” reveal of trans characters. In the first three or so seasons of The Venture Bros, it feels like the show is constantly leading up to a similar formula, but that punchline never happens. 

The joke of Dr. Mrs. The Monarch is as simple as her having a voice deeper than you’d expect, and you are an asshole for questioning it — just like the cast of jerks in this show’s universe.

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch is my favorite Venture Bros character, one of my favorite women in fiction, and she, no matter what theories people have, is not trans.  While the reality of this fictional character is that Dr. Mrs. The Monarch isn’t trans, however, if people think you are trans (or “a man” if you want to subscribe to that small brain energy), then in the court of public opinion…you are. Regardless of the actual circumstances surrounding your identity, you are guilty and it will be used against you.

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch is an example of someone who has risen above and succeeded in spite of that judgement both in The Venture Bros universe and in the evolution of how this show and comedy is written in general. Trans or not, I love that. As this show evolved, the running joke of her gender was phased out entirely and this “masculine” characteristic was just treated as matter of fact. It was just a small part of the most stable, capable, and well rounded character in the entire show.

There is a lot that can be written about gender without sticking to the stringent criteria of trans experiences, because expectations exist in all forms. I came to terms with my insecurities a long time ago and that included my deep voice. Hearing that brassy croon be treated as such a normal thing means more to me than most forms of direct representation ever has - Dr Mrs The Monarch and Being Trans In The Court of Public Opinion, by Harmony M.Colangelo

Even at her earliest appearences, when The Monarch was more of a caricature than ever and the show had yet to really start growing beyond the parody aspect, the consistent joke regarding Dr Girlfriend was that she is this enormously competent genius henchwoman working with pathetic cartoon villains who waste her talents on pointless bickers and capers, and if not that, then frequently ignored and belittled on the basis of her gender. And as the show grew, we got to learn more and more about her relationship with The Monarch and Sheila’s own journey, what is it that drives them to stay together, their separations, their arguments, their roles apart from each other. Dr Girlfriend outgrows her role as The Monarch’s partner and by Season 6, she’s openly acknowledged to be the biggest reason why The Guild’s still running, with all other supervillains in the Guild deferring to her. With the exception of mysteriously supernatural players like Dr Killing and The Master, one could argue that, by the end of the show, Dr Girlfriend is the most powerful character, having finally risen to the position where her skills and talents are not wasted and not without cost, of course, as it’s effectively deprived her of ever getting to meaningfully work with her husband, which was the only real passion she had for this enterprise. Nobody in Venture Bros ever fully gets what they want, after all.

I think there’s an argument to be made that Dr Girlfriend is the most “real” character on the show, in the sense that she lacks the extravagant personalities and gimmicks of the other characters or the life-shattering tragedies that guide much of their conflict, and this in itself makes her an outsider who has to juggle a lot of responsabilities and options to keep things running, who has to play a lot of roles and carry a lot on her back, who sometimes gets bent out of shape and frustrated at the mind-numbing amounts of idiocy she comes across, and who even demonstrates ways in which she herself is not quite above said idiocy. After all, she’s the one ruling said idiocy now.

4: Henchman 21 / Gary

Fucking Gary, man, what an excellent protagonist. There’s plenty of characters that people point to when stating Venture Bros has impressive character development, but one that always stands out is Gary.  From one-half of a sidelines comedy duo with Henchman 21, as a geek loser henchman to the geek loser villain, secure in his position as a funny but inconsequential element to this world, Gary gets that safety net brutally ripped away with 21′s explosive death, and instead terraforms himself into a muscular unhinged badass, the Brock Samson of the show’s villain side. And past that, he remains a big time protagonist (even hero) on his own right, concluding in once again becoming the one-half of a comedy duo, but this time one that involves his geek loser boss as the two become partners instead. Gary has been growing and changing with this show from day one, even serving as the show’s recap narrator, his cracked nerd voice never changing even as he becomes more and more impressive. He’s as close to an audience-insert character as it gets, of course he has to be a geek overdosed on pop culture references, but he is more than that. 

I love Gary because he’s one of the ONLY characters I’ve ever seen who has a physical and mental transformation whose end result isn’t him acquiring a completely different body type. He didn’t slim up, he didn’t get cut abs, he beefed up and got a weighlifter’s big gut, and the show doesn’t play it as a joke. He’s still pudgy, he’s still got a chubby face, he’s still geek-voiced Gary, and he’s a physical badass almost on par with superhuman demigod Brock Samson. He became this through sheer effort on his end and the help of his friends. He does backflips and spinkicks and fistfights bodybuilders and spits blood dramatically while looking cool and impressive and doing things that society thinks fat people shouldn’t be allowed to do without it being played for irony. I just, you pretty much never see superheroes or superhero-adjacent characters with Gary’s body type without some kind of caveat attached (villain, joke character, fat-based superpower, etc), seeing Gary in action, played like he was, genuinely did mean a lot to me.

He's observant and he's unlucky and he gets made fun of, but he's not cynical, and the show doesn't treat him cynically either, and that's important.

3: Red Death

I don’t think there’s any Venture Bros fan that doesn’t have Red Death on their top favorite characters list, holy shit did that dude arrived to steal the show. Top-notch design, killer concept, perfect voicework by Clancy Brown, most of the best scenes across Seasons 6 and 7 involve this guy in some form. Probably the clearest example you can point to in order to demonstrate how much Venture Bros’s outgrown the parody element of it’s earliest seasons. 

I like, everything about this guy. I love how they continuously make efforts to undercut his “retired old champ and nice family man here to help the new kids get their footing” thing by constantly reminding us that he is a bloodthirsty murderer who actively enjoys killing and looks forward to any chances for it, but he’s so damn likeable and charming and cool that we all still default to him first and foremost as the dad in the park who talks Monarch down by showing genuine appreciation for him. I love that this is also followed up on his remarks towards Vendata, how he’s the only character on-screen who ever extended any kind of respect towards him, and how dark this gets later when he brutally murders Blind Rage for being a disrespectful punk. He’s brutally efficient at everything, including compartmentalizing his life and personality to an extent that it doesn’t ring as hypocritical to us when he sits down to give helpful advice to Monarch, and said advice includes him mentioning how he was able to turn his life for the better after slaughtering his arch-nemesis’s entire family with his bare hands. He’s a horrible, horrible villain, and a wonderful dad and mentor and, honestly? Talk about a character who plays perfectly, perfectly into his voice actor’s strengths. Clancy Brown as Red Death is nothing short of magic. 

He’s interesting as a Venture Bros character because, as far as we know, he’s completely bereft of the usual petty shortcomings or tragic flaws or pathetic obsessions that define most of them. He is, for all intents and purposes, a genuinely good husband and father devoted to his family, an utmost professional dedicated to the art of villainy and those he respects, and a brutal serial killer with virtually zero hesitations or doubts whatsoever about what he does and likes doing, with a hideous past we know only the barest glimpses of. He coins the term Gentleman Villain because he too, is as perfect an embodiment of those terms as it gets in this world, and he’s fascinating because of it. He works brilliantly at surface-level and whatever little we know about his connection to the historical underbelly of this world is all the more fascinating. He is a wonderful take on a modern version of a Gentleman Villain and everything noble and horrible that this implies. I resent not getting another season or several with this guy.

2: Hank Venture

Probably the character I’ve always found most relatable in the show even before I discovered that, oh yeah, I do have ADHD too, it was a given I was gonna relate to the hyperactive Venture kid known for jumping off the roof in a Batman costume (I mean, my window had bars, and I still swear that I wasn‘t actually gonna jump and my family totally misread what was really just me trying to get on the gargoyle brooding action). As much as I like Gary, Hank is the one that comes to mind when I think of impressive character development in Venture Bros. Hank is interesting because in many ways he just doesn’t change, nowhere near as much as Dean does, Dean’s the one who's matured and is trying to leave all this nonsense behind while Hank’s still actively pursuing the dream of being a boy adventurer. Hank still talks in weird stilted speech, he’s deeply ignorant of a lot of basic things, he still almost gets himself killed pursuing flights of fancy. To say that he has a hard time telling fantasy from reality implies that this is something Hank struggles with, when it’s more accurate to say he just doesn’t care that much about said distinction, and the consequences of his abysmal upbringing, reckless antics, and undiagnosed ADHD as of Season 7, do catch up to him.  

But the thing is, all of this is also part of what makes Hank the only character in the show who occasionally gets to thrive. As the seasons passed, he came to display a lot of genuinely inspired moments of competence and skill, not to mention bravery. Hank perseveres so strongly in his stupidity and headstrongness that he’s the only one who’s able to meet the dumb, violent and deluded world of Venture Bros on it’s own terms and come out on top. He’s unique in that he doesn’t outsmart the madness, he out-dumbs the madness. His victories and adventures tend to be more enjoyable to watch than Dean’s or Doc’s or the others as a result (I suspect the creators agree, given Hank is the kind of character that lets them get away with whatever dumb ideas they feel like experimenting with). He’s got a real Lupin III charm to him mixed with a carefree hyperimagination that calls to mind much of what I enjoy about Calvin and Hobbes. He’s a perfect protagonist.

In a world so fraught with failures and miseries and bitterness, and coming off a background just as deeply unfortunate as everyone else’s, Hank perseveres, growing into a genuinely cool kid. He’s made for this life in a way that Doc and Dean never were, and in the absence of a father who cared for him, Hank found role models in Brock and Batman and others, and emulated those until he could be himself the kind of person he’d always wanted to be, an insane hero for an insane world to such an extent that they kind of end up canceling each other out.

I just, I just hope he’s okay, please, please give us the movie already goddamnit

1: THE MONARCH

The perfect Never-Was to Rusty Venture’s Has-Been, pretty much the main reason I stuck with the show for so long even before it got really good, I think The Monarch is just an idea I always, always wanted to see explored in fiction, which is that deeper exploration of a Dick Dastardly-esque type of villain, what does their life look like and so forth. You might be able to tell, given also that my most popular post in this site is about them (and the protagonist of my current project is meant to be that kind of character), that this is an archetype very close to my heart. In truth, Monarch had me won pretty instantly when I first got into Venture Bros as a kid (...in hindsight a pretty terrible era to get into Venture Bros), given all the similarities between him and Waluigi (at the time my favorite character in general). Here’s a character functionally identical to Waluigi, except allowed to actually play a big role in his franchise and have stories told about him and his funny antics and his petty, dastardly dreams and his ridiculous grudge against a nobody hero who couldn’t care less about him. It was like catnip to me at the time.

Monarch carried the show pretty hard in the early seasons along with Brock, as a perfect foil to the hapless and pathetic ventures: An even more hapless and pathetic villain, a dumb goober plucked straight out of a shoddily-made 60s superhero cartoon, all sneers and cackles and nasally-voiced threats of conquest. The kind of parody villain that’s dated even by their time, let alone the modern times the story takes place, the kind of guy that only really gets brought up to get his ass kicked and pushed aside by the real villains (the inclusion of Baron Underbheit in the S1 intro even helps cement the idea that Monarch’s not supposed to be the real villain). A failure in a show about failures, right?

But, see, the thing about Venture Bros is that it isn’t really a show about failure, or at least, just about failure. Even the creators pushed back against this notion back in 2013

Publick: I think you and I are both sick of every interview mentioning the “It’s a show about failure” from five years ago. I don’t think we made a conscious effort to fight that or anything, but every year, we push what we do as writers a little more. An area we hadn’t gone into very much was positivity. I mean, all our victories are still satiric, but there are definitely places where we said, “I want to see these guys do something. I don’t want to just have everything fall on its face all the time.

I don’t think Venture Bros is about failure, as much as it is about “what comes next”, following either failure or victory. It’s a show that’s big on exploring consequences and fallout, part of why every season took so long to air, a show that doesn’t just have the characters fail and that’s that, or has the characters exist in a fixed state as winners or losers, but instead as people who have to carry on living with the accumulating shit that gets thrown at them. What does it take, for these people to carry on, or even succeed. And this is where I think The Monarch’s continued role as protagonist comes into play, because everything about him is in service of that next step, from day one he’s been the character who’s pushed this show forward into the future, opposite the Ventures and Brock who are either trapped in the past or complacent in the present. He’s introduced to us in a mold we all understand from childhood: he’s a dastardly supervillain with a dumb gimmick and enough resources to pester the heroes on a weekly basis, but never enough competence to actually win over them. Okay, and then what? Well, that’s where the ensuing 7 seasons come in.

What happens when he gets what he wants? Does he even know what do with it? What is the source of his immortal hatred? Is there even one? If there isn’t, what else do we know that motivates him? What’s his relation with his henchmen? His partner in crime? His wife? His wife turned partner in crime? What do his enemies look like? What does the rest of the supervillain community think of him? Does he have beef with other heroes? Does he even want to fight other heroes? Just how competent is he outside of that saturday morning cartoon mold where he’s perpetually doomed to fail? If he is, what’s stopping him? How low is he willing to go morally? What disgusts him? What happens when he has to play the hero? And from The Monarch all these rich worldbuilding questions expanded that soon blossomed into many if not most of the best parts of Venture Bros’s worldbuilding. 

The show’s not preocuppied with explaining “why” there is a Monarch in practical or psychological real-world terms, so much as it’s interested in the “how” does a character like Monarch function, what does it take for The Monarch to be, and it’s through taking this archetype seriously and exploring him and the world around him that the character grows into a complex and interesting protagonist while remaining, fundamentally, the same saturday-morning-cartoon villain with an inexplicable grudge that he always was. The Monarch was gonna be my favorite from the start anyway but it was his continued presence that really impressed me for the long haul. Not even the only character to experience this, but my favorite to do so.

[womanofwords]

Masterlist

OC dossier

Tobey’s Community Service (COMPLETE)

Synopsis: as penance for the many times his robots have destroyed the city, Tobey’s community service is to teach the basics of robotics to children. (This is a WordGirl fanfic.)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Ghost Hunters Series (COMPLETE*)

Synopsis: two boys go ghost-hunting in an abandoned, dilapidated mansion and stumble across something amazing that changes their lives. (Based on a series of artworks by @shyticklemonster and listed in reading order.)

Ghost Hunting

Ghostly Vengeance

Ghost Tricks

A Taste Of Halloween Candy

*I will add to this series if @shyticklemonster makes more artworks for me to base my writing on.

The Offer of a Lifetime (COMPLETE)

Synopsis: Hero and Sidekick stumble across a superpowered civilian and recruit them into the team. There’s just one problem: they don’t want to.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

High School (COMPLETE)

Synopsis: Frustrated by their behaviour, Superhero turns Hero and Villain into teenagers and sends them to high school to learn some important life skills.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Glitter (COMPLETE)

Synopsis: Hero has always been a guy’s guy. That is, until he gets assigned the girliest female sidekick to ever live. The worst part is, it’s beginning to rub off on him, and that could spell disaster for his image! What’s a guy to do?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

STEM Kids Shenanigans (COMPLETE)

Synopsis: When the principal of Marbleton Secondary School created a STEM club for the best and the brightest, she expected prestige and respectability to come to the school. When the students heard about it, they expected it to be filled with nerds.

But the four members of the club find themselves making tight friendships and awesome inventions. They also find themselves in a war with the most relentless prefect to ever be a prefect.

Chapter 1: Making STEM Club

Chapter 2: Introductions

Chapter 3: Change

Chapter 4: Spice

Chapter 5: Trinkets

Chapter 6: Parent Observation Day

Chapter 7: Study Group

Chapter 8: Subtle Messages

Chapter 9: The Unseen

Chapter 10: Day Of The Pink

Chapter 11: Connections

Chapter 12: Slime

Chapter 13: Surveillance

Chapter 14: Public Opinion

Chapter 15: Flight

Chapter 16: Front Page Fallout

Chapter 17: Paint

Chapter 18: Melanie’s Cousin

Chapter 19: Bird’s Nest

Chapter 20: A Very Grounded Young Man

Chapter 21: Adult Supervision

Chapter 22: Matching Patches

Chapter 23: Gloves

Chapter 24: Layla’s Plants

Chapter 25: The Other Secondary School

Chapter 26: The Hated One

Chapter 27: Monitoring Melanie

Chapter 28: Feral Newspaper Hound

Chapter 29: Acting Out

Chapter 30: Bugged

Chapter 31: Checking In

Chapter 32: Stephan’s Black Book

Chapter 33: Engineered Dramatics

Chapter 34: Talking To The Sainsbury Girls

Chapter 35: Stashed Secrets Spilled

Chapter 36: Principal’s Office

Chapter 37: Celebrity and Confessions

Chapter 38: Apologies

Chapter 39: Unwanted Appearances

Chapter 40: A Proper Conclusion

The Poisoned Prodigy (COMPLETE)

Synopsis: When normal Vincent Song is invited to his best friend’s school’s end-of-year awards ceremony, his only real worry is whether or not his brother’s old tux will fit him. But when said best friend, Renaissance boy Patton Reynolds, collapses at the podium after drinking some tainted water, it’s obvious that he was poisoned.

Patton names someone just before he passes out and at first, it seems like the genius solved his own murder attempt. But something’s not right. It’s up to Vincent, described by his own brother as ‘the lamest teenage boy in the world’ to navigate a world of geniuses to find the true culprit and get true justice for his best friend.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Nerd Juvie (IN PROGRESS)

Synopsis: Marco, a troubled yet gifted young man, gets sent to the Lazarus Institute after getting caught drag racing on a bike that he made himself. The Lazarus Institute is a rehabilitation centre run by Dr Bertram Lazarus especially for gifted teenagers on the wrong side of the law, and for a while, it seems like everything is looking up. But when Marco stumbles across sinister plans for the residents, he is forced to question everything. Is Dr Lazarus the benevolent man everybody believed him to be?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

[confusedhummingbird]

Comic asks ;)

5,6, 11, & 14

5. What would your mutant superpower be?: I think I'd like to have Hydrokinesis

6. Would you want to live in a universe where superheros/villains existed?: Probably no. That would be a very dangerous world and there would be a high likelihood I would die so much as I love hero stories I'd never want to live in them

11. What is a character you wish never existed: Probably Hydra Cap from Secret Empire. He's just so insulting and unnecessary and doesn't add anything.

14. Lamest super power: Anything that's minor or has a lot caveats like "You can teleport, but only like a few feet in front of you."

Thanks for the Ask! 😃

[studiotriggerfan397]

Mystery Men by Kinka Usher.

This movie is a combination of a lot of things that I like:

An underdog story, gaudy superheroes, creative sets/visuals/costumes, and some of the funniest actors of our era. Loosely based on Bob Burden's Flaming Carrot Comics, Mystery Men takes place in a world where not only are superheroes for reals, but there are way too many of them, putting some of the superheroes with the lamest powers on the Z-list.

The main thing I don't like about this film is the ending. Throughout the movie, none of the Mystery Men's powers work quite right. Then suddenly, at the end, everything just works for no good reason. That's lazy writing. What should have happened was the heroes should've figured out a way to turn their weaknesses into strengths. Instead, their powers just work out of the blue, "THE END."

Still, I really like the production value and this movie has some of my favorite fanboy jokes. Also, I find Mr. Furious relatable from time to time...

[drippingheart]

It was decided — he did not like Tokyo. Weekend trips to the overwhelming metropolis of fashion and culture were one thing, but actually living in a place of noise and air pollution, akin to the vile nature of swallowing curses, made Getō Suguru crave a shower simply thinking about it. He, as it was laid out to him in practiced polite tone, had little option. Use your abilities for good. Surrounded by people like you. What are your other options?

Who said the teenager didn't have dreams. He had plans of attending college, going through the whole experience, and working his ass off because he was no rich brat. It was an abysmal speech found in the corners of action based mangas and dialogue within hero-in-training movies. Suguru's very own coming to age story packed with training, killing monsters, and being repulsed by his sorcerer technique. Yeah, charming. As frightened as his parents had been and the neighborhood kids, the seasoning on the onigri was his dislike of his own technique.

He enjoyed having a third eye, a sixth sense, but he felt akin to the superhero with the lamest ability. Curses were meant to be exorcised, meanwhile Suguru was capable of swallowing them like they were friends to cherish. What did it mean for a sorcerer to keep his curses instead of killing them? The Principal of one school and a representative of another did not think it an ill omen. Apparently, if making out with a curse meant saving the world, they were all game for it.

Sure, those weren't precisely their words, but Suguru understood the meaning. People like him, like them were a rare breed, and Japan was in dire need of morally right users. Suguru accepted on the grounds it was on a trial basis even though he had a feeling the Jujutsu institute was not one to accept on the fence students. They were desperate, weren't they? Suguru was young in age, but if he was to be killing curses and putting his life on the line, he was prepared with the maturity of a man twice his age.

In truth, Suguru had been frightened over the prospect of working a bone breaking job of menial labour to pay for college, and there was the matter of staying at home ... his childhood already felt like an overbearing weight; had felt as such for a long while. No child should wish to disappear from home. Once again, Suguru was fulfilling the manga trope although the protagonist usually had an obnoxiously wonderful childhood ... or it was marred with tragedy. Either way, Suguru did not quite fit the bill — just a short lifetime of resentment and cold shoulders. It was strange how all of his possessions could fit in a few boxes and cases of luggage, not as strange as his parents' eagerness to get rid of their son.

Between Tokyo and Kyoto, ultimately it boiled down to Yaga Masamichi; although speaking and walking like a man with a stick in his arse, he, at least, appeared more genuine. The Principal versus a representative. The choice was obvious. And hey, maybe Tokyo wouldn't be too horrid. He was told the campus was secluded and away from the main chaos. Furthermore, Tokyo really did have all the hot spots: vending machines filled with all his favourite things, cat cafes, omelet places worthy of social media, and the best shoe and gym clothes department stores. Maybe he could come to like Tokyo.

That still left the matter of Jujutsu Metropolitan Technical School and his classmates. Suguru tended to fair well with new people his age, but there was a vulnerability talking about his technique and showing it to people first hand. What was supposed to help humanity felt an awful lot like a dirty secret. By the time he arrived at the school, his boxes were already delivered and waiting outside his assigned dorm room. The Principal himself gave him the grand ( truly grand ) tour, a lengthy lecture, a history lesson ... Suguru was exhausted by the end of the day to the say the least.

Because he was not from Tokyo, he had been scheduled to arrive earlier than his classmates; a curtesy provided by Masamichi. Sounded an awful lot like a country bumpkin like you needs time to adjust, but the onyx haired teen accepted it nonetheless. The three days prior to his classmate's @pyrrhaic arrival was used to explore the beautiful campus, decorate his room, and stock the fridge and pantry with all the things he liked. It worked out perfectly. He carved out his space in the fridge, the optimal pantry space, and picked the best shower and toilet in the men's shared bathroom.

The rest of the time the teenager relaxed and meditated. Slept in, too. His time was his until the three days ran out in a blink. Lessons wouldn't start until two days later, thus Suguru lounged about in clean and ironed black joggers and an acid wash t-shirt. He didn't outright stand at the entrance like an eager errand boy, instead he loitered around the shared living area; ready to greet and be polite once the Principal was done with his speech.

[falconlord5]

A Better World

Have I mentioned I love New York?

I saved this episode for the day of Donald Trump's arrest for a reason. This episode is all about fascism, how important it is to resist it but also its allure. How easy it is to become fascist.

Donald Trump is a fascist. And today, just maybe, the forces of democracy and the law have finally got him.

By the way, that's not how nuclear launch systems work.

I wonder how many kids this episode shocked when it first aired?

Written by Stan Berkowitz

Directed by Dan Riba.

In the real world, dictatorships are not this efficient. I recommend Stephen Kotkin's biography of Joseph Stalin for details on how chaotic, fratricidal and clique-filled dictatorships tend to be.

Look, I do think Superman and other superheroes would kick ass in the military. But I don't think they could take over America or the planet in general. Americans have a biiiiiig military. Seven superheroes, no matter how powerful, just can't cover that kind of ground.

It's good to know that even fascist!Batman is an asocial dick.

There's a Ben Franklin quote I think you need to read, John...

Lois hasn't changed much, either.

So, our superheroes were fascist from the beginning.

Yeah, this isn't about helping. It's about control and invading somebody else's turf. Sounds like Putin.

Never trust a fascist, guys.

Ah, Superman's lamest villain.

Lex is part octopus, is all I'm saying.

How does Lex figure it out and Lois doesn't?

Superman created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster

Batman created by Bill Finger

Wonder Woman created by William Moulton Marston.

Animated by Dong Woo.

[dieandgetamnesia]

what archie did when they ran out of games to adapt: most convoluted storylines possible

what fleetway did when they ran out of games to adapt: several issues of the lamest superhero parodies in the world

[fantasticpants]

Had to gif this classic scene due to extreme levels of dopiness involved.

[yuri-alexseygaybitch]

One of the lamest aspects of the MCU for me, of which there are many, is that since these products are designed from top to bottom to be easily digested sludge for their prime audience of North American philistines the world of the Marvel universe is basically entirely culturally and politically identical (and entirely US/anglo-centric) to ours except with capeshit happening. There's no attempt or desire to explore the ramifications of all of the insane shit it depicts. Net zero worldbuilding. Like you really expect people to believe that a world where aliens and cosmic civilizations are an established fact, superheroes and magic are real, the most powerful and technologically advanced country on Earth is an uncolonized African nation, and literally half of all life in existence disappeared for a bit and then came back would look and act and feel just like ours? Like, totally the same? Cool. Here's Megan Thee Stallion and a Star Wars reference. Eat it you stupid shits. Kill your curiosity and wonder and capacity to imagine different worlds.

[lovelyartisan]

Okay Imma shut up about Sharon possibly being the villain after this!

(But lets think about this for a second if she were the capital b, "Bad Guy," of the series (Zemo's like what the secondary bad guy or maybe their working together? Ya'll see that shit coming 👀? new ship alert lol jk but not really)

How great of a dark foil would she be for Sam's conflict regarding the mantel of Captain America.

She'd be like the shoulder devil to Bucky's shoulder angel act regarding the shield and the idea of super heroes in general to Sam.

This is a woman who grew up listening to stories from the aunt she worshipped like the legend she was, talk about Steve like he was the second coming of Christ, like she has been a stan of this man her whole life.

-In CA:TWS, She risks everything for him (I'm talking as in his ideals not to get in his pants) when confronted with fact the hydra had infiltrated the organization her Aunt spent her whole life to build, she trusted Steve was making the right call and helped him dismantle it.

She burnt down her aunt's legacy, S.H.I.E.L.D, expecting nothing in return, but there's no way a piece of her didn't die with it.

Then in Civil War, as we were just recently reminded of in the latest 2 episodes, she lost everything, she verbatim tells Zemo this:

But LOOK at the way this is framed, this show has never held back on the close ups, if they wanted us to pinpoint her rage against Zemo why not close up on him? but instead its all three of them. this would be beautiful foreshadowing if I'm right. because her grudge is against all of them.

Because she stole government property for SAM and Steve for BUCKY's sake, yet all three were able to both move on after a couple years as if nothing ever happened, while again! I must remind you! Sharon lost EVERYTHING.

Can you imagine how betrayed she must have felt when Steve retired, completely forgetting her and the smoking wreck of a life she was left with, Can you imagine how much of a false god Steve must have seemed to her, the righteous soldier who never left a man behind that her aunt told her about all her life.

He was a lie; heroes were a lie -- and just like that she snaps.

Her being the powerbroker would also explain a couple things:

1. Why the powerbroker has beef with Zemo even though they've never met.

2. Her very cold and snarky roast of Bucky's belief in the Captain America brand, the way someone would talk about a product- you know like a broker!

3. Why she insists that Sam and Bucky stay out of it for their safety, the way Vancamp delivers the line almost made it sound like a lamenting ultimatum.

AND HERE'S WHERE THAT DARK FOIL FOR SAM BUSINESS I WAS TALKING ABOUT EARLIER COMES BACK AROUND!

Sharon and Sam were both new to Steve's life, both clearly idealized him, both gave up everything for him, but only one of them got to reap the reward of being in Steve's inner circle.

AND now that Steve is gone, Sam is starting to see the cracks in having a dogmatic belief in the Captain America brand like Bucky, he's starting to see that a lot of the "goodwill" people showed him was for Steve's sake and not for him.

both Sharon and Zemo even recognize his shaken confidence in the idea of superheroes:

Sharon: Look you know the whole hero thing is a joke, right?I mean the way you gave up that shield, deep down, you must know its all hypocrisy.

Sam: *says nothing*

Zemo: He knows and not so deep down.

At the end of Episode 3, we see Sam upset about how lives like Sharon's and Isaiah's were destroyed for the Captain America legacy and how everyone would rather brush them aside and only look at the good that's come from it as if the collateral damage meant nothing.

We even see Bucky (Sam's other foil) in this last episode give him the ultimatum that if he won't preserve Steve's legacy, then he will take the shield and do it himself.

Sam is caught between these two very extreme ideologies that both represent a part of how he feels about this legacy.

I think if Sharon is the power broker it will show how complete disillusionment with heroes can be just as toxic as worshipping them.

Since right now the narrative of the power broker is that they are currently after the serums (and if its for the motivations that the power broker in the comics would have) then its all for money not revenge.

because hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is and Sharon clearly shows this indifference while casually asking about the new captain america and then dissolving any interest in it when Bucky gets passionate about the subject. She couldn't care less about who's holding the mantle.

I may jokingly call her a hater but the truth is there's no spark or any kind of feeling from her, she just seems numb to the whole thing --- and that's where she becomes dangerous, she doesn't care about anything.

Priceless art, murdering people (shown in her brutal take down of the bounty hunters), and perhaps even the super-soldier serum.

She's already seen a world torn apart by the blip and lived and potentially conquered a place like Mandrapoor, suffering and injustice mean nothing to her and because she believes there are no true heroes; she believes the world's already doomed.

She's become the lamest kind of nihilist basically.

I think the show is going illustrate to us how Sam will be the healthiest medium, not pretending that Steve is a flawless Aryan Jesus but also not throwing away the good he brought into the world just because he wasn't perfect.

I think this is the thesis the show seems to be going for: don't feel cheated if your heroes aren't perfect, let their flaws instead help you to realize that despite their flaws they did good in the world; which means you and your flaws can do good in the world as well.

Also making Sharon the power broker is very unlikely but at the same time its just so great to imagine and like her not being the power broker doesn't make her any less of a dark foil for sam so i'm going to pretend this rant was justified bye

[wastelander997]

Alright so @incorrectsmashbrosquotes wrote a pitch for Dr. Doom and the Fantastic Four in the MCU, and I got inspired to write this, so here we go.

Of all the characters coming to the MCU, the one's that they have to, and I mean HAVE to get right, are the Fantastic Four and Dr. Doom.

Now a lot of people would say "why, they're just some superhero team with a bunch of bad movies and Dr. Doom's cool, but just another bad guy. Why is it vital the MCU get them right?"

Simply put, it's because the Fantastic Four are easily some of the most, if not THE most important characters in Marvel history. Both in the real world and even a bit in the comic continuity itself, there is no marvel universe without the Fantastic Four.

This video is pretty long but if you get the chance, watch it, because it explains just how vital the Fantastic Four actually are to the world of comics.

But short and to the point, 1. They're explorers of all things, meaning that they know a lot obout several species, meaning that anytime an alien invasion comes down it's usually Mr. Fantastic that's like "here's their weakness, hit 'em in the balls" or whatever.

2. The Fantastic Four have connections to the entire Marvel universe, both emotionally with knowing and being friends with almost EVERY superhero (especially these guys)

but also literally since Sue and Reed's son, Franklin Richards, is literally the guardian of the guardian of the Marvel Universe.

No I'm not kidding.

And 3. Creating the Fantastic Four is what lead Stan Lee and Jack Kirby to make a whole BUNCH of Marvel characters. So without what many people call "the lamest superhero team" you wouldn't have your Spider-Man, your Iron Man, you’re Daredevil, you're Hulk, all that.

And as for Dr. Doom, that motherfucker is easily one of the greatest comic book villians of all time. He's almost ALWAYS the big bad in a marvel crossover. Even more so then Thanos, or Galactus. This bitch literally just haxed his way into 1. Stealing the beyonder's power (and beyonder is, like, super powerful)

2. Offed Thanos, the first big bad of the MCU, like snapping a twig (to be fair he was OP as shit at the time)

And 3. LITERALLY JUST FORCED HIMSELF TO STAY ALIVE FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS, JUST TO FUCK OVER THE GUY WHO SENT HIM BACK IN TIME IN THE FIRST PLACE

If THAT dosen't scream "next big MCU villian" I dunno what does, man.

So yeah, Fantastic Four and Dr. Doom are pretty damn important and need to be done right.

[passivenovember]

You Look Stupid When You’re Sad.

Steve Harrington smelled of sour patch kids and unbaked cookie dough.

Billy didn't think it was a bad smell, exactly, just weird; intense, heady, and stuck to the walls of his brain. Doughy when the sunlight couldn't dry the track marks of Steve's sweat before nap time, heady when it got into Billy's system and stuck with him like the thrum of his heartbeat.

Wherever Billy went Steve Harrington was there. Like a shadow. A noisy, scrawny, wire-frame glasses wearing shadow that elbowed its way into the chair across from Billy's during lunch and followed him around at recess; three feet behind and always pretending to spot interesting shapes in the clouds when he thought Billy wasn't looking, but.

Billy was always looking.

It was so weird.

Steve was so weird. The way he made bright, happy noises when he was paired with Billy for station time, how he always drug his mat over from the other side of the room to sleep next to Billy when it was time to zonk out after second recess despite knowing that the spot was saved for Barbara, Billy's actual best friend.

She got nightmares and Billy liked to be there to hold her hand while she dreamed but every afternoon, without fail, Steve came wondering over with his lip stuck out in a question.

It was confusing.

Steve was so confusing. The way he hugged his mat to his chest, chin quivering with a little, "Okay. Sorry, Bills." Every time Billy slapped his hand on the carpet and growled that the spot was taken. Occupation, not reserved for pasty-kneed dorks with wire frame glasses, and.

Billy didn't want to make the kid cry, or anything, but he always managed to do just that. Paint himself as a bad guy.

Billy rubbed his forehead as Barb settled in on his left hand side one afternoon after such an altercation, smiling so big her lips disappeared behind the plastic frames of her glasses.

"What's wrong, Stevie?" She asked, and.

Billy tried not to be jealous.

Steve hiccupped, cheeks growing redder by the second. "I wanna nap with you guys but Billy won't let me."

"Hey, that's not--"

"You can sleep with us if you want to. Billy has a really big blanket, maybe he can share with both of us." Barbara looked at him expectantly, like. "Right Billy?"

And it was dumb.

It was so dumb, that they were staring at him with hopeful eyes and Steve's chin was still quivering and Billy didn't want to be the bad guy; he wasn't Mesogog and he didn't want to hurt the kid's feelings, but.

Steve Harrington got under his skin. With his soft hair and big brown eyes, always following Billy around and begging for the space to be made. Billy got clumsy and nervous when Bambi was nearby, and.

The idea of sharing space. Sleeping next to Steve with his chirpy little noises and warm soft hands, it.

Made Billy feel like he was breaking out in itchy red bumps.

No.

He would stick to his guns; the blanket just wasn't big enough for three people. But then, Billy's grumpy brain supplied, Steve could steal Barbara and keep her as his own best friend if Billy didn't let him stay, so. It was time to cut his losses.

"God, you look stupid when you're sad." Billy muttered.

Steve started crying again.

Billy really wished he'd stop that.

"I'm sorry, Billy. I know I'm dumb but I don't mean to be." Steve whimpered. He tucked his mat under his arm and made to get up.

And leave.

As if Billy would let Steve make him look bad in front of everyone, especially Barbara.

"Lay down, dork." Billy grumbled, tugging the blanket up around his shoulders and peeling it back for Steve reluctantly.

Harrington's smile was so bright it could've melted crayons when he settled in close, chirping happily as Billy pulled the blanket around them and tucked in on impulse. The room went dark, Mr. Talamantez reminding them to count butterflies if sleep wouldn't come.

It didn't.

Steve smelled too much like cream and sugar for Billy to get any rest at all.

--

"Whatcha making, Billy?" Steve asked, pink tongue poking out in concentration as he peered over Billy's arm at his art project.

A stack of pink and red construction paper was Billy's favorite thing in the world because it meant endless possibilities. Pink was soft and sweet, red was passionate and cool. Like hot wheels and firetrucks and hearts full of warm oven mitts, so.

He pulled the leaflets from his backpack during circle time and got busy, carefully folding the delicate paper hamburger style and then tracing swirly, dramatic lines for each heart on the page.

Valentines was Billy's most favorite day of the year.

Even more than Christmas, even more than his birthday, and only a little bit more than Halloween because on Valentines? The whole universe was covered in flowers and little tin wrapped chocolates and love hearts were the best thing for a kid to make with scissors.

Billy ignored Steve's tongue, turning his shoulders to the room. "I'm making love hearts."

"For who?"

"None of your beeswax."

"Okay," Steve said happily, grabbing a handful of markers and re-situating himself much closer than Billy would've liked. Steve's Nike's tapped the itsy-bitsy-spider on the rug as he declared, "I'm drawing batman on a surfboard!"

And Billy tossed aside his first ruined Valentine. "Oh cool, I don't remember asking."

"That's okay," Steve giggled. "Sometimes I get motor mouth. My Daddy says it's 'cause I'm a fruit."

"My daddy called me that sometimes before he got sick." Billy turned to glare at him. "That's not a good thing."

"It is to me!" Steve giggled again. He was always doing that. "I like Kiwis. My mommy packed some for lunch and I had them for breakfast. They're yummy in geek yogurt. They make me smile because they have beards!"

Steve cackled like kiwi's having beards was the funniest thing on earth and Billy wondered what there was to be so happy about.

He tried not to smile at Steve's dumb face. "I think you mean Greek yogurt."

"Yeah, probably. If I'm like a kiwi, that's alright, I think." Steve's tongue poked out again. "Surfboards make me think of you." He declared, and.

Steve smelled like toasted chocolate on s'mores, his hands somehow kicking up more of his sugary sweet odor each time he reached for a new piece of paper. Billy didn't know how he was supposed to get anything done when his circle buddy smelled like a chocolate birthday cake.

It was kinda gross.

Billy pulled out a sliver marker and traced Stinky Butt Max on one of the smaller Valentines, remembering to fold down the corners so the sensitive skin on her palms wouldn't get hurt when she inevitably started smacking him it.

The pink Valentine looked more like a chewed up Starburst gummy this way, but. Max wouldn't know the difference.

Steve peered over his shoulder again, cooing softly. Like a baby dove. "That ones pretty, Bills! Is Max your Valentine?"

"Ew," Billy wrinkled his nose like he sometimes did when Max needed a diaper change. "She's my baby sister, don't be an Ick Monster."

"What's an Ick Monster?"

"Somebody who makes weird jokes and says weird things, so." Billy shrugged, scrawling his mothers name on a second love heart. He poked Steve's tummy with his marker. "That's you, I think."

Steve giggled before slapping Billy's hand away, and. Watching him work.

After a while Steve inched closer. "So you don't have a Valentine?" He wondered, and.

Billy didn't understand the question. "Mr. Talamantez said we're all each other's Valentines so nobody feels sad."

"Yeah, but. Everybody has someone they want to smooch on Valentines." Steve started playing with his hair, fingers twisting waves in a sea of brown, like they sometimes did when he was nervous. "Someone they like best-best. Better than all the other kids."

Now it was Billy's turn to giggle. "That's icky."

"Smooching?" Steve's eyes sparkled. "It's fun sometimes."

"Like you've ever kissed anyone."

Steve looked offended. "Have too."

"Have not."

"Have too," Steve pouted, crossing his arms.

Billy began work on a third Valentine. "Who did you kiss?"

"Nancy Wheeler."

Billy snorted, not sure if he wanted to imagine Steve kissing Nancy Wheeler, or. Kissing at all.

Steve's chin started quivering. "You don't believe me?"

"No." Billy said lightly, capping the marker with a sniff.

Kissing was not fun. It was wet and violent and looked like it maybe hurt a little bit, the way he'd seen his mom and Susan kiss when he got up to go potty at night. Billy regarded Steve through easy, narrowed eyes; Steve wasn't the kind of boy who kissed like that.

"How come you're so weird?" Billy wondered.

"I like being weird." Steve said, reaching for a green marker to color in his surfboard. Steve nodded at the small pile of Valentine's strewn on the carpet between them. "You should put the love hearts on foam when you're done."

"I was already gonna do that, genius."

Billy wasn't already going to do that, but he'd eat a centipede before he let Harrington know he came up with a good idea.

"They could be superhero colors!" Steve hollered suddenly. He was so loud all the time. "That way your mommy and sissy can know that you love them because they're cool. Like Aqua-man."

Billy frowned, watching Steve fold his Batman drawing over and over again until it all but disappeared from sight. He leaned back against the wall with an eye roll, shocked out how much Harrington lacked any concept of taste, or.

Shame.

"Aqua-man isn't cool," Billy said. Because Aqua-man wasn't, he was like. The lamest of them all. "His only power is making the bad guys drown, at least the other heroes can punch really hard."

"Punching isn't always the best, though." Steve tucked Batman into the front pocket of his shirt, leaning into Billy's space. "Sometimes punching just makes the bad guys stronger. Like Wilson Fisk."

Billy frowned. "Punching works for Spiderman."

Steve considered this fact, pink tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth again. He thought really hard for a long time, as if Steve didn't have Spiderman socks on everyday at recess when he removed his Nike's to fill them with rocks.

Such a weird guy.

Finally, Steve smiled. "I like water, though. Your eyes are like water. From the fountain in the hallway, and like the lake at camp." Steve pushed his way into Billy's space, frowning with his head cocked to the side like there was more thinking to cross of the list. "You're very pretty, Billy. Like a cloud."

And.

Billy didn't have the words to articulate the way Steve's smell went a little crazy after that, like a bag of powdered sugar had caught fire from a signal light once he realized what he'd said. Billy waited for Steve to take it back, because.

Boys calling other boys pretty wasn't allowed in Mr. Talamantez' classroom, or. Anywhere else.

Steve didn't take it back.

"You wouldn't like Aqua-Man's water, 'cause you'd drown." Billy said, getting back to work on his Valentines if only for a distraction from the way Steve was watching him. "He doesn't control his power very well and sometimes the mean guys get hurt real bad."

Steve kept right on talking. "I wouldn't be a mean guy though," He reasoned, sliding impossibly closer on the alphabet rug. "I'd help him fight crimes. Like Captain Underpants!"

And.

Billy had nothing to say to that, sucked in and drowning by the way Steve's eyes were glittering.

"You're a weird guy, you know?" Billy breathed.

Steve's giggle went right to Billy's tummy, teaching it to do backflips, somehow.

"That's okay." Steve said, reaching back for a fresh piece of paper. "You'll remember me better and maybe you'll ask me to be your Valentine."

Steve's hair fell across his eyes, head bopping along to whatever song he was singing to himself today. His lips glittered like a frosted donut. Like he'd been eating a strawberry ice cream cone instead of confusing all the boys around him.

Maybe you'll ask me to be your Valentine.

Huh.

Billy started work on a new love heart and pretended not to notice.

--

On Tuesday morning Billy woke to the smell of pancakes and fresh squeezed orange juice.

Maxine was already up.

Her long red hair was piled on top of her head in two Princess Leia buns. Susan had put in little heart clips and the pink dress Billy's mommy had made special was already covered in mashed banana and something that looked like magic marker.

She was all ready for Valentines day.

Billy didn't understand why they bothered trying to make her look dainty when Max was more interested in destroying Billy's favorite toys and starting fires.

She sat on the floor of the room they shared together, sucking her thumb and playing with Billy's favorite race car. Her wet, chubby fingers made the blue Camaro shine brightly with spit and Billy felt like his face was burning up.

"Hey," He said, rubbing at his eyes. "Hey, you're getting spit all over my--"

"Race car!"

Max held it out to him triumphantly. Billy frowned, moving to grab it from her chubby little fist. "I know that's my race--"

"It's a blue car," Max said thoughtfully. She looked at him, like, "Blue cars are my favorite."

"It's my favorite too--"

"Can we share?" Max wondered, putting the little wheels on Billy's knee and letting the car zoom back and forth. He imagined that Evel Knievel was in the drivers seat wondering why his car wasn't first in the race.

She looked happy, like always, to be playing with Billy's toys.

He sighed. "Yeah, I guess we can share. It's Valentine's Day."

Max seemed to enjoy that. "I like today!"

"You do?"

"Yup," She said happily, little chubby fingers tangling in Billy's hair because he hadn't brushed it yet. "Candy and sour gummy worms and kisses from cute boys!"

Billy glared. "You're kissing cute boys?"

"Uh-huh!" Max hollered. "Lucas gave me a dandelion."

Billy thought long and hard.

About Valentines Day and all the things that came with it. The pink shirt that hung pressed in his closet, fresh cupcakes with plastic rings, a bag of Scooby-doo Valentines Susan had picked up at the market for all his classmates, homemade love hearts at the bottom of his backpack. Three with red foam, one with a delicate lace doily, and.

Kisses.

Max was getting flowers and kisses from a boy.

From someone special.

Billy took the race car from Max's hand and drove it around, thinking about boys with brown eyes and soft hands.

Maybe you'll ask me to be your Valentine.

"Wanna eat some breakfast, Max?"

"I had 'nanas." She said with a smirk.

Billy hummed, standing to get dressed. "Mama probably made chocolate chip pancakes, you don't wanna eat something special?"

Max's little red eyebrows pinched together. "I can have yours?"

And.

Billy didn't know what was so necessary to her about taking everything that was his. Playing with his toys, sleeping in his pj's, eating his breakfast, it was like Max didn't know how take something and make it her own.

Billy pulled the pink shirt over his head, feeling every bit like a turtle when Max did the same with the collar of her dress.

"You can have my pancakes." Billy concluded, puffing out his chest. "If you'll be my Valentine."

"You don't have a boy to kiss?"

"I might," Billy picked the race car off the ground with a smile. "This is practice for when I see him at school. So, will you be my Valentine?"

She thought about it.

Long and hard, tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth, before nodding with her entire body. "I think he will."

Billy sighed. "Really?"

"If you give him sour gummy worms and smooch his forehead he will," Max said.

And.

Maybe things would turn out okay. Billy nodded, grabbing the race car and driving it across Max's forehead, careful that the little plastic wheels didn't get stuck in her hair.

--

From the stucco ceiling of the classroom beautiful strands of silver and gold hearts painted a mirage of stars.

All the desks had a rose and a cardboard mailbox intended for the delivery of Valentines and at the center of the room a table filled with cupcakes and strawberry Capri-sun packets. Preparation for the party this afternoon, and.

Mr. Talamantez had turned their space into a glittering, perfect fairytale.

Billy hugged his basket of Valentines close to his chest and tried not to search for Steve before dropping his backpack at the cubby station.

He was right in the middle of tugging his special sweater down over his head when Barbara scooted in next to him, pretty in a little pink jumpsuit.

She handed him a tiny, delicate giftbag full of chocolate hearts and dinosaur erasers, smiling from ear to ear as Billy hugged her nice and tight before handing off something he had made special. A tiny paper crane his mommy helped him fold, and a bunch of rainbow goldfish sat nestled in a basket of paper Mache.

They were her favorite snack in the whole world and Barbara was Billy's favorite person, so it seemed fitting.

She hugged him and Billy smiled, peering around the room for a head of wavy brown hair. "We could share our presents with Steve," He muttered, like. It wasn't a big deal or anything. Billy tugged on the sleeves of his red sweater and tried to stay cool. "Where is he?"

Barbara pointed to the book shelves.

Steve was sat under a string of twinkly lights, shoulders tucked against the pillows Mr. Talamantez set aside for circle time. His face was buried in the crook of his elbow, and.

He was crying.

Of course he was crying.

Billy felt the Valentine in his pocket grow heavy.

Barbara said, "Steve broke his glasses, maybe you could make him smile?"

And.

Billy wanted to do that. Longed to make Steve giggle and chirp with happiness like the annoying little Meadowlark he seemed be. It would be so easy to. Walk over there, tap Steve's shoulder, and say the words.

Pose the question.

Will you be my Valentine?

Steve was making huffy, nervous little noises when Billy came to a stop beside him.

"Hey Harrington, playing with all your friends?" Billy sneered, confident that Steve would giggle like he was did, but.

When he finally turned around his face was red and puffy. As if he'd been crying all morning and all night, too.

"What do you want, Billy?" Steve whispered.

He sounded sleepy. Spread thin, like the last spoonful of jam on burned toast.

"What's wrong?" Billy asked carefully. "What happened?"

Steve sat and rubbed at his eyes, chin wobbling as more tears spilled over. "My daddy broke my glasses." He whispered.

And Billy hated it.

He always hated when Steve cried but today. Right now, he.

Felt like he had to do something about it.

Billy took the love heart from his pocket and sat down next to Steve, cuddling back into the pillows until their shoulders were touching. It took all of five seconds for Steve to settle in next to him. Roll his head back against the wall until he was looking at Billy with a question in his eyes.

Steve looked at Billy's shoulder and back up at his face, like.

"Can I--"

"Come here, stupid." Billy grumbled, Pulling Steve in until they were cuddling on the pillows.

Steve chirped. It wasn't his usual sound, light and airy, it was.

Thick.

And heavy.

Like a blanket sopped with rain water. Steve buried his face in Billy's neck. "I don't have any Valentines to give this year."

"That's okay."

"I made something special for you," Steve whispered, pulling back to study Billy's face. "I know Mr. Talamantez said we weren't supposed to, but--"

"Will you be my Valentine?" Billy's stupid mouth said.

Steve blinked at him, and.

Billy wanted to hide in the bathroom for thousand years.

Steve pulled away to sit crisscross-applesauce. Facing Billy, like this was something important. "Huh?"

Billy mirrored him, tucking his hands away so they wouldn't shake when he held out the love heart.

It was pink. Big and bright and outlined with a white doily that Susan helped him glue around the edges. Billy had dug through Max's box of stickers for the one with Winne the Pooh, the one he'd been saving for someone special. Winnie was covered in tiny valentines, eating right out of a jar of honey with a butterfly sitting on his nose, and.

Billy had thought it was perfect.

He worked for hours on the font. The saying that made his mommy laugh when he read it to her; you're bear-y sweet. Be my Valentine.

Steve took the love heart in his hands, and.

Didn't say anything.

Billy frowned. "I just. Remember you asked me to be your Valentine, or. For you to be mine. And--" His hands were shaking again. "It's stupid. God, this is--"

Steve leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.

It was gentle. Like the brush of butterfly wings, barely there and then gone before Billy had a chance to really register the movement, or. Think about what it could mean.

Steve wasn't crying anymore when he said, "I'll be your Valentine."

Billy's brain took a minute to catch up. "Huh?"

"I'll be your Valentine, Billy." Steve giggled, staring down at the love heart once more. "This is so cute. I loved Winnie the Pooh when I was a baby. My mom always put me in footie pajamas that had Eeyore on them. And tinker bell too, sometimes. You could've put the Red power ranger on there instead. He's my favorite--"

Billy sat back against the pillows.

He was learning that Steve Harrington was weird.

Like a puzzle with one piece missing, or. An empty tube of bubble mix. Steve was colorful and loud and all over the place with opinions. He shined bright and loved hard, and.

Sometimes it was best to sit back and listen.

--

Happy Valentines Day!!

I really just sat down and wrote this. Wow. Anyway--thank you for reading and supporting my work. Your comments and endless kindness keep me going when I don't always feel like trucking on, and I wanted to do something to remind you that if this was an elementary school classroom I would give you so many lollipops.

[retvenkos]

“i am a little bit of everything i’ve seen in my life.”

requested

MY HEADCANONS FOR THE HYBRID HARRY POTTER HOUSES...

gryffindor/ravenclaw

if you’re in gryffindor you think you’re more “refined” than everyone else, and if you’re in ravenclaw you think everyone’s a stiff

this is the person with the braincell! let it be known that they have it, but refuse to use it

they have to be a little chaotic because they know what consequences are but disregard them

these people call themselves ambiverts but it really just means they won’t talk to you if they hate you

and i say that lovingly

okay, but if they do talk to you??? best people to talk with - they can hold an interesting conversation masterfully and it’s all because their enthusiasm is off the charts

let them ramble, it’s very endearing.

and physical touch is probably their love language so cuddle with them, too

they’re sci-fi and superhero nerds change my mind

now their loyalty is really interesting because gryffindors are really loyal where as a ravenclaws are individualistic and prioritize #1, so i feel like they are very much on guard

befriending is hard - they’ll keep you at bay until they are sure you can be trusted. and they won’t be made to feel bad about it either.

but once you are close to them,,,,, they would save you or die trying

their inside jokes are god tier

i don’t know how they do it other than they know how to make people laugh using the most unexpected methods and because it was such a weird experience, people are able to remember really well?

like, they could say “nutmeg” and everyone around you starts laughing, meanwhile you’re just ???

gryffinclaws are also really interesting because they don’t do well with conflict, but drama sort of gravitates toward them because let’s be real here, they can kind of be actively seeking it out, sometimes.

i mean, it’s usually to avoid having to deal with deeper emotions or even bigger problems, but sometimes they have a hand in their own suffering....

also, these people never study if they don’t like the class. they don’t. if they dislike the subject, they procrastinate with every fibre of their being.

but if it’s something they love, they are the first to get it done and will 100% do extra research and talk about it all the time.

they say they love both cats and dogs equally, and they actually mean it.

they are most likely concerned with wanting to change the world in some way - but they want it to be a tangible way that still allows for creativity and freedom

this is also the friend who stays up wayyyyyyy too late, and when you ask them what they’re doing, all they can say is “memes”

and they really do love memes - send them some. it’s their primary way of communicating

they love going out to get lunch and chatting with friends

food + people = love

they’ll even do it in their room! just bring bread and a good conversation - they can stay up for hours

also,,,, creativity and courage??? these are the people who actually have the confidence to publish their writing/art/whatever, and i admire that.

but writers block hits them so hard... i’m so sorry

okay, but if i understand the meme right, i’d give them wine aunt status.

gryffindor/hufflepuff:

these bastards

but i say that lovingly!

this is your meddling friend - that person that knows all and you can’t hide a secret from them to save your life.

and they seem to know everyone?????

they could ruin your life if they wanted to, but they are sweet uwu children and would never - in fact, they’re appalled you would even suggest it.

don’t let them hang out with gryffindor slytherins, no matter what. they will be corrupted and then it’s all over.

“but why are they bastards?” you ask. well,,,, if you’re acting surly or really don’t want to do a thing™ they will use their knowledge against you, prodding you in the direction you did not want to be going

of course, they only ever use this power when it’s for your greater good, but it’s annoying and invasive enough to grant them bastard status.

10/10 the mom friend.

even has the mom stare.

you know - the whole “you’re being irrational and you’re going to do this no matter how you hate it” stare

they have the  m o s t   energy and i honestly admire that

and they’re so hard working and dedicated that motivation isn’t a problem? it’s really just trying to get a solid, coherent thought that plagues them.

someone please get them a planner - they are constantly running late, but excited to be here!

100% have cottagecore vibes, or at least naturecore or adventurecore

point is, they want to be outside, doing things

they most likely want to make change in this world, but on a smaller level - with the people they care about, or the place they live

they really want to see what this world has to offer, but they are deathly afraid of being lonely

ngl, they probably get hurt by people a lot. they’re a little too trusting and go in a little too deep and when that other person leaves it does irrevocable damage.

it’s kind of like idealism and optimism, but at what cost?

100% smother their own feelings with a pillow and then preoccupy themself with the problems of others to not deal with their own

get them someone to talk to, please. they deserve it.

most likely they are an extrovert and surround themself with people so that they won’t have to feel loss as hard

spoiler alert: loss is always crushing.

gryffinpuffs believe in people - it’s their greatest gift and worst downfall

and they cannot live without them

do they have the braincell? sometimes. most of the time they share it and forget to ask for it back.

they probably like to do tangible things - like sculpture or knitting, baking, caring for plants....

something they can hold close

and if they read, they 100% finish books in one sitting. they just binge and it’s very iconic of them

probably a romantic, idk

they want a meet cute in real life and read all of the marriage fanfics

gryffindor/slytherin:

now these are the people who smile when you call them a bastard

and are most likely to be called a bastard unlovingly

at first glance they might be a little low on the empathy scales, but if you make it into their circle they would kill, die, and resurrect themself for you

BUT! all things come with a cost.

these are your friends with shifting loyalties. they are loyal until they feel your loyalty toward them fade, and they can and will shift against you for self preservation.

and they won’t feel bad about where their loyalties lie.

but please love them because if you really do believe in them they will feel it and it will rock their whole world

and if your feelings are strong, you’ll be surprised how quickly they can turn to you for guidance

if you haven’t noticed, this group is extremely intuitive - they can just sense what everyone feels about them

all that intuition... and quite a lot of tact

maybe it’s the cunning or the self preservation in them, but they can read a room really well - only bested by the hufflepuff/slytherin - and can sway everyone to their side

you want someone to give oddly accurate motivational speeches? this is the person you’re looking for!

slytherdors.... you either love them or you hate them

but no joke these are the people that the gryffinclaws and slytherclaws are constantly fighting - and the slytherdor is ready to throw hands at any given moment, someone pLEASE send a ravenpuff (huffleclaw?) to save them

if you wanted someone to embody teenage angst, HERE YOU GO!

it’s either that or they are extremely competitive and not afraid to call someone out

if there’s a dueling club, someone please put restraints on these children

as you can imagine, these people have a lot going on, and what they really need is just some quiet stability.

they need to see this world isn’t constantly out to get them.

they absolutely love music, so listen to songs with them! they have the best spotify playlists with the most obscure vibes, and it’s very aesthetically pleasing

also! listen to them in any group setting - they make the best, dry comments under their breath

if you laugh at them they will reach into the heavens and give you the moon and the stars

they really want the ~found family~ and definitely seek it out

they crave redemption arcs

they give me baby wolf vibes - they are wild killers, but they’re at that tender age where they’re still vvv similar to a puppy, when given affection

their slytherin side has tamed the impulsivity of a gryffindor, but the level of tactician a slytherdor is varies wildly. you never know what you’re going to get, and they are actually really good at covering it up

kind of like on those alignment charts where it’s like “looks like they could kill you but is a cinnamon roll” except it’s “seems competent, but is really an idiot”

they really need an animal companion, probably a cat or tarantula

the slytherdor probably doesn’t feign to study - they either do or they don’t and if that’s bad for their mental health then they’ll fight god himself

i get a lot of vibes of zuko screaming at the sky in that lightning storm, where he’s like, “come on, strike me! you’ve never held back before!”

maybe i’ve been a little negative, but uh,,,, their love language is sitting in the dark, holding hands and talking about the lamest part of their day

also, they hate meaningless endings to tv shows - they just want to see everyone be happy or die trying

ravenclaw/hufflepuff:

you mean the adjusted ravenclaw?

maybe that was mean, but what i really mean is that they are the most emotionally intelligent of all the ravenclaws

these ravenclaws know how to use conflict resolution skills, and they are very much needed in ravenclaw tower

they’ve been coaching the gryffindor/ravenclaws, but good luck maintaining their attention if they don’t want to listen

they also have patience! that means they get along well with slytherins.

even if they’re tired, they’re a good sport about it

light academia aesthetic, or just soft vibes in general.

they are probably the only artists with a coherent schedule that they keep up on, while still remembering to stay hydrated and function like a normal human being

they lowkey crave structure - the unexpected is not for them

riddles? those have a right and wrong answer - they absolutely hate it when the gryffindor/ravenclaws or ravenclaw/slytherins give an answer that is “technically” right

they probably don’t tell anyone, though

passive-aggression? yep. i can feel them seething from here.

like, they can solve minor problems and can get over bigger ones in time, but if it’s a huge slight, they are never going to let go

and it’s super palpable when they dislike you because they are so kind to everyone else

they probably have a passion for poetry but can’t seem to write any themself

definitely still keep a book of it hidden under their bed, though

and if they are good they vehemently deny it but continue to write anyway

the biggest thing they struggle with is knowing their direction in life - who do they want to be?

abstract thinking is an art form, and these ravenclaws ponder existence in the most intangible ways you’ve ever seen

10/10 lay on the ground and stare at the ceiling for like 3 hours straight

they can vary wildly on the introvert-extrovert scale, but they are never in the middle. extremes only.

you can get close to them out with acts of service - they give so much, please just treat them ONCE

they attach themself to so many people, though. even if they’re an introvert, you’d be surprised with their connections.

they’re so level headed and yet, they can feel so lost

kind of reminds me of 50′s moms who seem perfect on the outside but have existential crises while making a roast in heels

they don’t necessarily want to be “known” - they probably feel like that definition is changing all of the time, so it would scare them to put themself in a box

i guess they’re kind of free spirits - maybe more like the aunt who does yoga with baby goats and collects crystals and pretty shells

they are great at conflict resolution, yes, but don’t expect them to be your therapist (that’s the hufflepuff/slytherin)

they have absolutely no idea when it comes to deep feelings - they barely understand their own

probably paints, tbh, or at the very least loves to go to museums w/ really abstract art.

they actually have the braincell! they keep it a lot of the time and can be stingy with it.

they either wake up really early in the morning or stay up until the sun rises because it gives them “clarity” or something.

ravenclaw/slytherin:

they’re definitely the blunt friend who will just say things as they see them

yeah, tact is lost on them

they also love to claim that they “don’t need” people, so they butt heads with the hufflepuff/slytherin and the ravenclaw/hufflepuff a lot

they have quite a bit of stratagem up their sleeve, so people can be weary of them

their attitude does nothing to solve this, but it could also be that the slytherclaw has this idea that flattery gets them nowhere

they are so divisive in their individualism,,, good luck befriending them

but if you do befriend them, you have a powerful friend in your corner.

they are 100% that distant relative that you think hates you but you aren’t sure if that’s just the way they are

but let me tell you a secret,,,, their love language is words of affirmation and if you stroke their ego they’ll grow soft

while slytherclaws may not be very persuasive on their own, they actually work really well in teams. they know everyone’s strengths are are unafraid to take charge and tell people what needs to be done and how

they’re also really good at logical thinking, so you definitely want to be lab partners with this one

and schoolwork? they do it and they take good notes. a really great student

and their ambitions and competitiveness means they are unafraid to go far, and they will do it in style, too

this is the epitome of dark academia. 

and there is very little that is chaotic when it comes to them - the slytherclaw is an excellent planner

maybe they desire more out of life - they never feel like they are quite getting what they want

they are cynical, but they they have such high hopes for this world

when they are let down, they’re not surprised but disenchanted nonetheless

they ponder the meaning of the world and what this world could be far more than they ponder their own life

they tend to see a bigger, more sweeping picture

100% they love the odyssey and definitely think it’s better than the iliad

they adore high fantasy with every fibre of their being and can really get into period dramas

i would say that a gryffindor/ravenclaw would be a good friend for them - we all know a gryffinclaw can talk, and sometimes a slytherclaw just needs to hear someone else’s take on this world

and, of course, it helps when anyone shows appreciation

okay, but they love sweets - chocolate, liquorice, peppermint, caramel... it’s one of the few childish things they allow themself to have.

they are actually relatively quick to trust? the fastest slytherin, actually

they keep their group small, but they get vibes about people and once you show them loyalty they trust you entirely.

i suppose they guess you don’t have any games because they don’t have any

ooh, but if you betray them??? they are a mess, emotionally, and will not hesitate to lash out.

but they are caring in their own way, and will do little things like reminding you to drink water or bringing you toast if you haven’t eaten and it’s very sweet

hufflepuff/slytherin:

so i know we have this idea of the slytherin sweetheart, but a slytherpuff is so much more than that

one of their strongest traits is the intersection of ambition and hard work - they will not stop until they are the best (in their mind at least)

it’s almost a petty form of competition. a bit of schadenfreude when they win.

and everyone’s immediate thought is that a hufflepuff/slytherin would be the most trusting slytherins but no.

not even close.

slytherpuffs are guarded at first, while holding a secret soft spot for you in their heart. but they won’t act on it until they are 100% sure you won’t hurt them. they are suspicious, but really want to like people.

it takes a lot to break down their walls, but when you do they already have a steady foundation for your trust to grow on, and it’s the strongest thing in this world

because of this they can often come off as cold or distant, but once you’re in their circle, oh yeah. there’s the hufflepuff qualities you were searching for.

a good contender for the mom friend position, but they aren’t overt enough to be so.

they’re not getting into your business or being slightly invasive like real mom friends, but if you need advice or a hug,,,,, this is the friend to go to.

they’re like the nice aunt. vvv comforting, but only if sought out.

oh, they have the strongest moral code i have ever seen - it cannot be shaken or swayed.

but! it can often go against the rules, so you do have a bit of chaos working beneath the surface.

i 100% believe that their love language is quality time, and most of that can be spent quietly, just sitting in the other’s presence.

i feel like 90% of their conversations is hand gestures or subtle facial expressions, so it make take a while to be able to read them, but it also means they are soooo good at reading other people

seriously, if you need a therapist in the group, this is your person. they know people so well. their intuition is off the charts.

BUT ALSO,,,, their levels of introvertedness are sky high. i feel like this is a given, but they can be in your orbit for 5 months and speak to your twice and think that is a decent amount of exposure.

please get them an extrovert. they need the exposure.

sEcReTS??? this slytherin probably has some, but you have to be like at level 50 to unlock their tragic backstory

they also have academia vibes and do really well in school work, but whether or not it’s dark academia or light academia is disputed. maybe grey academia? (is that a thing?)

they struggle with wanting to be known and yet wanting to hide parts of themself they find unattractive or unwanted

probably feel like they’re pulled in too many directions and overthink their choices just a bit too much.

everyone knows they have the braincell, but whether or not they use it is unsure

it’s so easy for their friends to coax them, they probably give it to someone else and never ask for it back even though they should be in sole custody of it

AND FLUFF ENSUES. (i realize some of these are kind of aggressive, so... vibe check!)

-- taglist: @musicallisto, @theletterhart, @locke-writes, @randomfandomimagine, @brokenandheadoverheels, @timeofmadness, @writerdream22 // message me if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

[janaikam]

My second to last commission for the @mlbforblm drive. This one was a pool request by @chatnoirinette for a djwifi date with marichat/ladrien. Because I’m marichat trash I decided to make this one with djwifi and marichat. I hope you all enjoy!

Thank you @marikittynoir for betareading!

Summary: Walking back home one night, Alya spots Marinette letting Chat Noir into her room. Alya and Nino accidentally uncover a bit more than expected when confronting their friend about the situation.

X

“Nino, I’m fine. This isn’t the first time I’ve walked back home alone.” Alya held her phone close to her ear as she glanced from side to side, watching for cars before crossing the sidewalk.

She was passing by her old college, Francois Dupont, which meant she had only a ten-minute walk left until she got home safe and sound.

Unfortunately, Nino wasn’t having any of that.

“Yeah, you do, but normally you’re walking in the daylight not the middle of the night!” Nino exclaimed on the other end. She could just imagine him pacing in his room, worrying about her. Nino was super sweet and she loved that he cared so much, but times, like this, it could be really annoying.

“I didn’t mean to stay so long at the library on purpose, but hey, at least I didn’t stay until dawn again! Plus this time I called you,” Alya pointed out.

The library Alya had just come from was this new 24 hour one that opened up. They had regular library hours, but if you wanted to stay behind and do your own research they let you pay for a membership. Alya had jumped on the opportunity as soon as she heard that they had a whole section on superheroes. There had been many times when she either stayed at the library all night or fallen asleep and Nora had to come pick her up because it got too late.

Tonight she really tried to leave at a decent time. She had even set an alarm, but that darn snooze button would be the death of her. She had been doing some research on past Ladybug miraculous users for the Ladyblog, and by her probably 10th time pressing snooze, she had noticed a bunch of college-aged students glaring at her. She had packed up everything really quickly and exited the building before checking the time on her phone. It had been 11:00 P.M.

“Do I have to start coming with you to make sure this stops happening?”

Alya rolled her eyes as she stopped at the crosswalk not too far from the Dupain-Cheng bakery. The bakery lights were off, but she could see Marinette’s bedroom light still on. Hmm. Maybe she could throw pebbles at her window like a little Romeo. But then Marinette would convince her to stay the night and she couldn’t afford to do that.

“No, dad. I’m fine. In fact, I’m about to pass by Marineee…” Alya trailed off, staring blankly at Marinette’s balcony.

Alya watched as Chat Noir landed on top of the balcony. He knocked twice before Marinette’s head poked out of the trapdoor and she kissed him on the cheek before moving so Chat could enter her room.

“Alya?! Are you there? What’s wrong?” Nino’s panicked voice interrupted Alya’s racing thoughts.

Alya gulped as the crosswalk light turned green, but she didn’t move an inch too scared that she might unravel what she just witnessed.

“Nino, I think Marinette is dating Chat Noir.”

                                                           XXX

No one could ever say Nino never supported Alya.

Alya wanted to be the power duo at Just Dance? He broke out his best dancing shoes and helped her climb to the top.

Alya wanted to chase akumas? Nino was there by her side, making sure she didn’t kill herself in the process.

Alya wanted to be a superhero? Nino was Rena Rouge’s number one fan and everyone knew it.

Alya wanted to help track down Hawkmoth? Well, Nino was more than happy to give the old fart a piece of his mind.

But when Alya suggested her best friend was dating the cat-themed superhero of Paris? Well, that was just a little too hard for him to believe.

Ignoring the fact that Marinette has a giant crush on his best friend, Chat Noir just wasn’t her type. Marinette never seemed to be interested in the boastful arrogant types. At least from what he remembered about her. But then again he could be wrong about her. Heck, he could even be wrong about Chat Noir. Yet none of that even began to explain why the two of them would be spending time with each other that they would start to even date.

It just made 0 sense.

“Nnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooo,” Alya drawled. “I know what I saw. Marinette kissed Chat Noir and then proceeded to let him into her room!”

“Maybe it isn’t what you think it is?” Nino suggested hopefully.

“What am I supposed to think, Nino!? That my best friend is just sneaking a boy in a leather-looking magical catsuit into her room in the middle of the night for the heck of it?”

Nino shrugged. “They could just be friends who are hanging out? Chat Noir doesn’t always have to parade around as Paris’ superhero. He’s probably just a normal everyday person and Marinette decided to help him feel normal. I mean Marinette is super nice about those things.”

“But the kiss! The Kiss, Nino!”

“Uhh...maybe they’re friendly? I mean we’re French. We kiss in greeting.”

Alya gave Nino a deadpanned look.

“What else am I supposed to say? There are so many other logical explanations for why Marinette would kiss Chat Noir as he snuck into her bedroom.” Nino paused for a second. “Okay, that sounded really bad as I said it, but c’mon Alya. You really think Marinette would start dating Chat Noir?”

Alya tapped a pen on his cap. “That’s what I’m going to find out!”

Nino groaned, knowing Alya she’d devise some crazy scheme to get Marinette to confess that she was dating Chat Noir.

“Alya, please, don’t do anything stupid,” he begged.

“Stupid? Who me?” Alya blinked innocently as she walked towards the door. “Relax, I’ve got it all figured out.”

Alya winked at him as she exited the apartment.

Hopefully, Marinette has better luck than me convincing her.

                                                          XXX

“On your left!” Adrien shouted as he moved his cat-themed character across the Marshmallow Marsh.

Thanks to Adrien, Nino just narrowly avoided a sugar bomb. Maneuvering around the sticky mess left in its wake, Nino was able to catch up to Adrien’s character as they reached the end of the marsh and the end of the level.

Candy Chompers was one of Adrien and Nino’s favorite games ever since they discovered it two months ago. They had been enamored by the sugary sweet world and all the characters and adventures that came with it.

It was really a nice change from the games that guys their age played. Less violence and gore. More cute adorable animals wanting to save their world from being overrun by the evil Candy Lord.

As the next level loaded, Nino felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. He shifted his position on Adrien’s couch so he could reach the phone.

Nino groaned as he read the text from Alya. So Marinette failed at her job yesterday.

Adrien glanced at Nino. “Everything okay?”

“No.” Nino paused the game, running his hand through his hair. “Apparently, Marinette and Chat Noir are dating and it seems Alya is making us go on a double date Saturday.”

“Wait, Alya found out Marinette and Chat Noir are dating?” Adrien asked, almost fearful.

“Yeah, crazy right?” Nino set his controller on the arm of the couch. “I always thought you two would get together.”

“Heh, yeah, Marinette and I. Definitely won’t happen now. Cause she’s with Chat. Hehe.”

Nino raised his eyebrows. Adrien was acting weirder than usual. And that was saying a lot, considering he always had the lamest excuses when akumas happened. Nino never really questioned the excuses though. Whatever he was doing when they occurred was Adrien’s business.

“So you’re going on a double date with Chat Noir?”

Nino nodded.

“Awesome. Great. Amazing.”

Before Nino could ask about Adrien’s weird response, Adrien unpaused the game, forcing Nino to refocus on the level ahead.

Adrien’s behavior was weird, but maybe he just had more feelings for Marinette than Nino thought. Man, he really shouldn’t have mentioned the double date in front of Adrien. Poor dude.

                                                          XXX

“I still don’t see why you had to invite them over for a date,” Nino said, watching Alya pull out her famous chicken casserole from the oven. The smell of the dish alone was enough to get Nino’s mouth watering.

Placing the hot dish on the stove, Alya turned towards Nino. “I needed to see if this little kitty is good enough for our Mari.”

“Alya. He’s a superhero. You’ve had interviews with him. How can you say he’s not good enough for Nette?”

There was the sound of voices coming from Alya’s front door, so Nino moved to go open it. From what he could tell the two people outside of it were arguing.

“For all we know, Chat Noir could just be keeping up appearances. Knowing the entirety of Paris is watching, he could have just put on this fake personality, and underneath he’s just this ugly troll, trying to hurt our precious Marinette.”

Nino rolled his eyes at his girlfriend’s antics.

“Why are you dressed like that?” One of the voices in the hallway said. Kind sounded like Marinette if he really focused on the voice.

“I thought that this was appropriate.” Wow, that sounded a lot like Adrien. “Especially considering they think that—”

The voices stopped as soon as Nino opened the apartment door.

Huh, so it was Marinette’s voice he heard, but definitely not Adrien’s.

Marinette and Chat Noir looked like little kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Both of them looked extremely stiff as they stood next to each other right outside the apartment door.

“Oh, you’re here!” Nino jumped at Alya’s sudden appearance behind him. “Nino, don’t make them stay out there all night.”

“Yeah, c’mon in!” Nino moved aside to let the couple in.

“You came at a perfect time, I just took out the food. I’ll bring it out in just a second!” Alya said, walking back into the kitchen.

“Okay, Alya. We’ll be at the dining table,” Marinette responded, leading Chat over to the table in the dining room.

Nino wasn’t sure if it was just him, but Marinette seemed extremely tense like she was a mouse stuck in a field of mouse traps.

There was an awkward pause at the table once the three sat down. Neither of the couple in front of Nino seemed very eager to strike up a conversation. Probably just nerves.

Considering the circumstances, Nino figured that they never really expected to go on a double date ever, so now being on one was likely very weird.

“Uh, so, Chat, what do you like to do for fun?” Nino asked.

“Oh, you know. Everyday teenage boy things. Play video games, flex in the mirror, save princesses. Normal everyday activities. Hehe.”

“What games do you play?”

“I play a bit of Ultimate Mecha Strike III and Cand—OW!”

Nino watched confused as Chat Noir brought his foot up to his face and cradled it. Marinette didn’t seem at all concerned by her boyfriend’s antics. Instead, she was glancing back towards the kitchen where Alya was adding some finishing touches on her casserole.

“Oh, so you and Marinette must’ve bonded over your love for UMS3. She’s like the queen of that game. I still have yet to meet someone who could beat her at it.”

Chat Noir scoffed. “I’ve beat Little Miss Constipation Girl here at UMS3 multiple times.”

Of all the names to call Marinette, that had to be the weirdest one ever. He definitely had to ask about that later. As far as he knew , the only people who knew about the constipation incident were him, Alya, the girls, and Adrien. Well Nino only knew because Adrien had told him about his trip to London and Alya filled him in on some minor details after the fact.

Marinette either blushed in embarrassment at the nickname or at the fact that she wasn’t an unbeatable mastermind at UMS3. “You only won both times because you cheated by distracting me!”

“A true champion knows not to get distracted by the tiniest of things.” Chat had a smug smirk on his face as he watched Marinette turn as red as a tomato.

“Why you mangy little all-”

“Dinner is served!” Alya announced, interrupting Marinette.

Whatever the incident was surrounding UMS3, Nino was definitely never going to bring that up again for fear of his life or Chat’s life.

“So what were you guys talking about?” Alya asked, taking the seat beside Nino.

“Nothing much. Wow, babe this looks amazing. Let’s dig in!” Nino exclaimed, quickly grabbing a serving of the casserole.

Chat and Marinette followed suit while Alya gave Nino a look that read, ‘What the heck is going on?’. Instead of answering the exact question she was thinking, Nino turned towards his plate and started filling his mouth with food.

Alya shook her head at his antics, grabbing her own portion.

The next few minutes were spent in a comfortable silence as everyone dug into the food.

Alya really out did herself this time. Maybe Marinette should sneak around with superheroes more often if this is how Alya ends up cooking.

“You’re a hungry little cat aren’t you?” Alya asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.

Looking up, Nino saw Chat with his claw (paw?) on the spoon for the casserole dish.

“Sorry, I didn’t get to eat a whole lot today and this is really good food, Ms. Ladyblogger.”

Nino, along with Alya and Marinette, looked at Chat concerned. Of all people, Nino would’ve thought a superhero would eat enough to stay healthy. Superheroes like Chat and Ladybug were always out there running around stopping akumas. Not eating enough food? That was practically a death wish.

“Nino, could you go get the leftover coleslaw from our lunch earlier. I think Chat needs it more than Ella and Etta.”

Nino immediately complied, more than eager to help out the poor boy who consistently saved Paris.

“No, you don’t have to!” Chat started shaking his hands, trying to stop Nino.

“Dude, we have a model friend who doesn’t eat enough as it is and I always make him eat some of my leftovers. As far as I know you’re not a model, but you save Paris like everyday so a healthy diet is a must.” Nino pushed the bowl of coleslaw into Chat’s arms. “Here, take as much as you want.”

“Oh, um, thanks. I’m not really sure what to say.” Chat blushed.

“You don’t say anything. Just eat.” Marinette grabbed the coleslaw from Chat’s hands and filled his plate with a nice serving. Alya did similar and picked up the casserole dish, piling even more food onto his plate.

“Oh, okay then.” Chat picked up his fork and stared at his plate now full of food.

“I don’t see a lot of eating going on there.” Marinette had her hands on her hips, watching Chat to make sure he would eat. Chat clearly didn’t want to test Marinette on the topic of food, so he complied by eating the food in front of him.

“I think I finally get it. Marinette is dating Chat to make sure that he would be eating enough!” Alya shouted after a few minutes watching the two.

“Wait what you think I’m dating Chat!?” “That’s exactly the reason!”

Marinette and Chat blurted at the same time.

Nino furrowed his eyebrows at Marinette’s statement. That didn’t make a lot of sense considering they were currently on a double date.

“Wait, what do you mean you and Chat aren’t dating?” Apparently, Alya also picked up on Marinette’s statement.

“Um, well you see Chat is here, umm, filling in for Adrien because you mentioned how you saw me with my boyfriend and I’m dating Adrien hehe.” Marinette smiled unconvincingly.

“So you’re not dating Chat Noir?”

Marinette shook her head. “I’m not...did you think I was?”

“Uh, yeah! I saw him sneak into your room one night and you kissed him on the cheek!”

Marinette glanced at Chat. “Oh, uh, you saw that? Chat and I just hang out sometimes. Giving each other cheek kisses and all.”

Alya blinked while Nino grinned at the explanation. It was practically the same explanation he had given Alya when this whole thing started.

“Oh. Then that means you’re dating Adrien?”

Marinette nodded.

“And Chat filled in because Adrien couldn’t make it?”

Marinette nodded again.

“Uh, I have a question.” Nino felt the entire table’s eyes on him as he spoke. “Why did Chat volunteer if you and Adrien were keeping your relationship a secret? Why not just say Adrien couldn’t come instead of outing your secret to three people?”

“Adrien and I are bad at keeping secrets?” Marinette said more so as a question.

“Clearly.” Alya sighed. Nino could tell she was just as confused as he was.

There was just something about her story that didn’t add up. It was really bugging him, but he couldn’t place his finger on it.

Unless it was…

“Hey, Nette, did you ever tell Chat about the prescription incident?”

“No, why?”

That was it. That was what didn’t make sense. “Why did Chat call you ‘Little Miss Constipation Girl’ earlier?”

“Uhh…”

“There was another constipation incident!”

Alya gave the pair a look of disbelief. “As much as I could believe Marinette had some separate constipation incident. I feel like your actions suggest otherwise.”

“I mean it’s not like there’s anything ba—Oh my gosh, Chat’s Adrien.” The answer just hit Nino like a bullet train. How could he have been so blind. Adrien was the only dude who even knew about that stupid constipation incident. And then his actions lined up almost perfectly with how Chat acted. Even his reaction at the dinner invite. He was probably completely confused on who he was supposed to show up as.

“How could I have been so blind!” Alya exclaimed next to him.

“I guess we let the Chat out of the bag, huh?” Chat whispered to Marinette.

“No, you did!”

“Nah, it was a team effort.”

[hournites]

still turn the switches on, just to see if it’s still gone

Stargirl fic

Warning: Blindness, Anxiety, Panic Attack 

Summary: Being blind never really slowed Beth down after her accident. She had Chuck, who guided her through hallways and used the words her friends failed to find to describe what she was missing. And her voice, well that wasn’t gone. She could still talk and she could still listen and in fact, she never read social cues very well in the first place, so really when it came to talking people’s ears off things haven’t much changed.

~.~

Being blind never really slowed Beth down after her accident. She had Chuck, who guided her through hallways and used the words her friends failed to find to describe what she was missing. And her voice, well that wasn’t gone. She could still talk and she could still listen and in fact, she never read social cues very well in the first place, so really when it came to talking people’s ears off things haven’t much changed.

Her mother doted over her more, which was weird because before she was found in her own emergency room Beth swore she was trying to pull away. Her dad bought her a bookcase full of her favourite novels in braille, which was very thoughtful. Pat gifted her with Dr. Mcnider’s owl for companionship and defence during missions. Most kids at school seemed to at least try to help her out. There was no use denying the need for extra assistance. Trying to explain that her artificial intelligence sufficed well enough to adapt to a handicapped life thanks to her superheroing pursuits was hard to explain, not to mention dangerous (and owls were strictly prohibited therapy animals in the Blue Valley High handbook—She checked). So Beth often found herself smiling at those who brushed against her arm or told her what time a teacher’s office hours were, even so far as helping her pack her bag.

Unnecessary, maybe. But it was nice.

This was why when she reached into her backpack during lunch on her way from the test accommodations room, her heart dropped to her gut. Beth only felt crumpled papers, her two binders, and her pencil case. Struck with alarm, she called out his name but was met with silence. Awful, sickening silence and a draft from the half-opened window in the staircase.

Her goggles weren’t there.

“Chuck?”

Her fingers flexed against the line of her inner zipper hard enough to get a paper cut. Her phone was also missing. Her phone had Chuck programmed into its assistance system. Her phone and Chuck. Gone.

Someone stole him while she took her test. Someone who would know she was dependent on him. Someone who knew she was Dr. Mid-Nite. Someone who went to this school.

Shiv? Tigress?

Beth’s mind raced as she jutted out her hand towards the cold railing. It was so silent. Too silent. She needed to hear Chuck’s voice in her ear. That reassurance was the backbone of her strength and confidence and her eyes.

She never had to deal with quiet like this. She’d have her own thoughts probing the back of her mind while she daydreamed or took her tests. She’d have Chuck’s constant chattering and Hootie’s feather rustlings, Yolanda’s giggles, Court’s cheers, Pat’s comforting words. And maybe there’d be that part of herself that mourned what it was like not to need that: True friendship and belonging, the assurance of who and what made up her definition of home.

That chilling loneliness from those days before JSA was miserable in a matter of fact way, but Beth was used to it then, independent and resilient and unknowing anything better.

Abandoned here was reminiscent of that time exemplified. Back when she was loser Beth. Not blind Beth.

She loved JSA, she loved her friends, but sometimes she preferred the crippling isolation that came with that. The safety of before. But she had to remind herself it wasn’t safe. It wasn’t safe and it wasn’t healthy. Whether she had her sight or not, all of Blue Valley was in danger and would be brainwashed now if she hadn’t stepped up to help.

But not like this.

Her breathing grew ragged as she clutched the side of the wall, mind spiralling. She knew Blue Valley High. She knew this school. This was her school, this was her year’s wing and this was the C block stairwell. She had the entire building memorized before she ever needed to.

She couldn’t remember the number of steps. The number locked itself in the haze of her anxiety. It could be twelve or fifteen or sixteen or twenty-six. Or, there could be chocolate milk spilt in the middle for her to slip on and break her neck and Beth wouldn’t even know.  If this was Cindy’s attempt at psychological warfare, it was working. She was immobilized, alone, afraid, and for the first time in too long, completely blind.

“Chuck?”

Why was she still calling out for him like a helpless child? He couldn’t help her. He wasn’t there.

Beth’s fingers shook as she felt along the dirty metal railing. She slid herself down, her back touching the wall. If Cindy was going to ambush her, she’d at least won’t make it too easy.

Two minutes morphed into five, then ten. Beth stayed in a fragile panic with her backpack clutched to her chest. Courtney was going to find her here dead because she was too afraid to walk down a flight of stairs. This was going to be by far the lamest death in JSA history and here she was, suppressing her hand over her mouth, still bawling her eyes out regardless of it.

The door from the bottom creaked open and Beth’s breathing ceased. The footsteps were slower but sounded heavy like the person was going up two at a time. Soon, two hands were on hers and she was throwing her arms around their neck, clinging tightly because she knew who they belonged to.

“Rick!”

“Beth? You weren’t answering your phone, Yolanda sent me out to find you. What happened?”

“Someone stole Chuck.”

He stilled, and she could feel through his thin shirt the way his heart sped against her ear.

“What?” His hand went straight to her hair, stroking it as his voice went harder. “Who the fuck would do that to you?”

She didn’t answer, sure that a handful of possible answers came to his mind.

“Why didn’t you come to find us?” he asked her a lot more softly.

It was hard to explain why Beth was paralyzed.

“I can’t,” she whimpered. “They took my phone. I got scared.”

Rick moved her back, pushing her from the edge of the top step. “I’ll carry you.”

“No!”

Rick paused just as the flat of his palms touched the underneath of her knees. He was going to carry her all the way to the cafeteria and everyone in the hall would stop and stare and whisper and Beth never cared about what people thought of her (she already knew—Chuck informed her weekly) but being carried around the school while clinging to Rick Tyler because she got disoriented would be the most mortifying experience of her existence.

The confusion in his voice was evident. And if she didn’t know better, she might’ve thought he felt hurt. “You don’t want me to—?”

Beth turned her head away. Of course, she wanted him to hold her again. Like she hadn’t dreamed of Hourman catching her over and over since that very first week over a year ago. She realized her fondness and interest in Rick’s friendship was less that of strong will and more of a swelling crush. That didn’t make it any less difficult to manage. She took a breath, chest still tight like half of the oxygen in her lungs had been swapped with something more noxious. This was starting to be too much.

The problem with Chuck was that she’d never really accepted being blind.

When her eyesight deteriorated after the accident, Beth had been in such deep denial she smiled and lied to her mother when asked if she felt okay enough to return to school, only to walk right into oncoming traffic. An older man yanked her by the arm of her backpack as two cars flew by fast enough to bring the rush of wind to her face. Rattled, Beth felt into her bag for Chuck, ignoring the swimming black spots in her vision. She’d rub her eyes with her fists too hard when she woke up that morning, she kept telling herself and refused to put Chuck away.

And then, when she had to confess those black spots weren’t going away, that they were only narrowing into her focal points and she tricked up her phone to get Chuck there too...That was it. She told the JSA that she was going blind after her doctor visit confirmed she was going to lose it all. They all burst into tears for her, but Beth didn’t, stuck in an accepting kind of numb.

The darkness snuck up on her like a shadow behind her back. Every blink and she wondered if it was the last one. It dragged on and her world got a little darker with every new day. Anxiety cracked at her spirit and broke her down, and she’d stay awake at night, staring up at her ceiling, practising for the familiarity of it without Chuck. Soon, she wished for it, begging the wait to be over.

Misery would not leave her until it did.

Beth could see in X-ray, infrared and pitch black when nobody else could. She used to tell herself that made her different. That she didn’t have it so bad. She knew everything there was to see, and with Hootie on her shoulder and the blackout bombs she deployed in battle, Chuck levelled the playing field. Maybe even tipped odds of success in her favour.

So really, maybe Beth had been living a disillusioned lie for the last few months.

She couldn’t be Dr. Mid-Nite all the time.

“I’ll do it myself,” she said, pushing a light hand against his chest. It was possible that her voice was trembling, and she didn’t sound all too sure, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t true. “I need to.”

Rick hesitated. “Beth, you’re shaking. I don’t think—”

“Please, Rick. They can take…” Her hands went to her face, wiping away her hot tears. He was right, she was shaking. “They can take my sight and my security and Chuck. But they can’t make me any less of who I am. I’ve walked down these stairs hundreds of times with sight and blindness. I can do this.” Her voice petered off, and she felt worried again at his silence. “Do you believe me?”

“I’m not the one that needs to believe it, Beth.”

Rick wasn’t the one doubting her. Her insecurities and self-doubt came from within. The words were harsh like a slap to her face, no matter how soft he uttered them. A cold reality check, but coming from his mouth, it was meaningful and not meant in any way to hurt her. Coming from Rick, it was different. And it was true.

He was a lot more clever than he let on.

She stared down where the grips on the bottom of her shoes teetered over the edge of the first step. Rick might’ve not been as close to her anymore but she knew he was hovering. It felt like a cliff or a massive waterfall. Her heart pounded like she was at the ledge of the world. She had to tell her brain to stop imagining those things. It only made it scarier. It’s like she said before. These were stairs. This was her cell block, the wing that led to the locker area. This was her school. It was familiar ground. She bit her lip, reining in the courage before it went away and held out her hand.

“Keep me steady?” Because the world could still turn at her anxiety’s whim. Or maybe she just wasn’t ready to let him go. Rick grasped her hand tight.

“How many stairs are there?”

“Twenty-three.”

Beth exhaled. Twenty-three. She could do that. Her other hand went to the railing, and she took her first blind step down. Her stomach swooped like the drop in an elevator. But then her foot hit solid ground.

That was it?

She stepped down again, and it was fine.

It was fine.

“There you go,” Rick encouraged her, squeezing her hand to let her know he was still there. “You don’t need me.”

She actually didn’t. Muscle memory and confidence guided her through, and eventually, on step thirteen, she let go.

When she reached the floor, a rush of pride flooded through her. She was perfectly fine. More than fine, she was great and not crying anymore. Whoever thought stealing Chuck would render her useless was in for a surprise because—

Beth spun around, realizing she had walked right on, pushed the door and made an angry beeline through the mercifully empty hall to get to the cafeteria, leaving Rick behind.

He grabbed her hand again after jogging after her.

“Hey!” he said, with a smile in his tone. “I didn’t mean that literally.”

Beth’s face heated up, mostly because she was acutely aware she was now clinging to his hand, deliberately locking their fingers together. “Sorry.” She wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for. 

He brushed his thumb against her knuckles. He didn’t seem to mind. “It’s my fault. So who am I killing tonight?”

Beth scoffed. “You won’t kill anybody.”

“I might,” Rick muttered, tugging her quickly to the side, presumably so she wouldn’t step on something. She stumbled a bit, but only ended up bumping into Rick. Beth flushed and reoriented herself.

“Thanks,” she murmured, slowing her pace to be more careful. Then returned to the conversation. “You said you couldn’t.”

“Yeah,” Rick said. “...Well. Whoever the hell thought they could get away with stealing Chuck—”

“Someone stole Chuck?” Yolanda cried over the chattering of everyone else on lunch break.

Her shins hit the bench of the table. Beth put her hands out on the surface to climb in and Courtney immediately ended up at her side. Beth wrinkled her nose as bouncy curls flew into her face.

“Are you okay?”

“She is now,” Rick said, now sitting beside her. He touched her arm. “You are, right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” she answered quietly, indulging in leaning against him because he was using a soft, gentle voice that made her want to hug him forever. “I’m not freaking out anymore.” Beth lifted a reluctant shoulder and wiped at her wet face. “He’s still missing though.”

“It’s Cindy,” Courtney said, narrowing her eyes across the room.

“We don’t know that for sure.”

“No, I do,” said Court. “She’s staring at us right now.”

Rick’s warmth was gone in an instant.

“Wait—” Beth called after him just knowing he now had his hourglass. Her hand reached out to empty space.

“I’m knocking the bitch out. Court, let’s go.”

“On it!”

“You’re gonna beat her up in the middle of the caf?” Yolanda hissed at them to sit back down. “You can’t do that!”

But then Yolanda muttered something under her breath.

“What?” Beth asked when the rest went quiet, but she could sense the way all of her friends tensed up.

“She has the goggles Beth,” Court said. “She’s taunting us with them right now.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Yolanda said tersely. It was obvious she also was exhausted by Cindy.

“Okay.” Beth stood up. “Bring me over so I don’t trip on a wet brown napkin or something.”

“You want to go over there?!?”

“Yes,” Beth snapped with a hard glare. It probably wasn’t aimed at the right spot but that didn’t mean it wasn’t fierce. “She wanted to scare me? She did. But Cindy has been cruel for so long and I’m not giving her the satisfaction of—” She balled her hands into fists and took a long slow breath to calm down.  She hadn’t realized she was almost yelling.

She released them after a moment and dropped her hands back to her sides. Beth was seething mad, that was for sure, but if she didn’t get her anger in check her plan would be no better than Courtney and Rick’s. “—I’m getting Chuck back so hurry up and get me there before I lose my nerve.”

Nobody said anything.

“Now,” she clipped.

“I—”

They realized she meant business and they all scrambled to catch up with her, realizing she wasn’t going to wait.

The three surrounded her like bodyguards. Her arm linked with Rick’s and Yolanda’s hand was on her back, guiding her to the popular table.

Beth touched her hair briefly and stiffened her spine. She didn’t know what she was going to say, but trusted herself enough to improv once she got there.

When Yolanda removed her hand, Beth knew they were in front of Cindy, Jenny and her other group of mean girls. She let go of Rick, choosing to fold her arms over her chest instead.

“What are you staring at, Beth?” Cindy drawled at her. There was a pause and she tittered. “Oh wait—”

The table straight up laughed.

“Burman!” Rick barked.

Courtney stepped up too, but both Yolanda and Beth blocked her with a warning hand.

“Hey,” Beth said coolly, with an eerie collectedness she didn’t even know she had. “I came to have a chat with you.”

“Oh, she wants to talk? That’s cute.”

“Thank you,” she said sarcastically, sailing over the condescension.

“Clearly you’re too naive and didn’t get the hint. I don’t want to talk to you. Get lost.”

Beth leaned in so close, she could hear the clinging of Shiv’s earrings. She felt movement, but she picked up on her intuition and honestly shocked herself by snatching Cindy’s bare wrist.

Cindy went still.

The worst part is that Beth knew what was underneath the soft skin and thousand dollar bangle bracelet. Cindy could so easily eject her knife and blade. She could stab Beth right through if she wanted. She’d done so to her dad in the basement of the tunnels.

But Beth wasn’t afraid.

“I don’t need to see you to know you’re smirking at me like this is the funniest thing you’ve ever done. I don’t need my eyes to know the way you were just leaning against your hand, wearing your Ralph Lauren polo shirt with one of your ridiculous berets and my visual aid dangling off the other hand like some next-season must-have accessory that you want because it’s something you can’t have.”

Beth dug her nails into Cindy’s skin. It’s not like it would scar. She continued, acutely aware of the way so much of the room seemed to have gone silent. If half the school hears her go off on Cindy Burman, maybe a few of the kids too terrified to stand up to anyone bullying them could learn a thing or two as well.

“But let me tell you something, Cindy. You can’t have it. I can’t see without them. I’m blind.”

“I know,” Cindy gritted out through her teeth.

“Yeah, I’m blind,” Beth raised her voice, just a little. “And so are you. Except you and I? We’re nothing alike. I lost my sight because of an accident, but you are blind and ignorant and grossly egocentric. And you did that to yourself. So take my phone out of your purse before I let Rick rip it from you, give me my goggles, and leave me the hell alone.”

Cindy dropped the goggles onto the floor, expecting the lenses to shatter.

They don’t.

~.~

“Rick?”

After Cindy dropped Chuck, Rick took her phone back as Yolanda ripped her a new one about being creepy with her phone theft habit, emboldened by Beth’s speech. The four left the cafeteria after, all wanting to leave, wishing the lunch period to be over with.  

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for holding my hand.”

He stopped walking, so Beth stopped walking. His hand in hers gave a light squeeze. Which was nice, because it meant he hadn’t let go since she put Chuck back on and blinked back at him after a shy glance, so relieved to see the outlines of his face again in any way she’s given.

“Whatever you need.”

She believed him, sure enough. Beth sighed as they walked through the hall. Courtney and Yolanda were behind them, talking about something Beth couldn’t care enough to listen to.

“Then...I need a cane. My dad bought one a while ago but I’ve left it in my room because I didn’t want it.”

“But…” He frowned at her, sounding confused. “You got Chuck back. You don’t need the cane now.”

Beth sighed. “Except, I do. I’m legally blind, Rick.”

“Yeah, but Beth—”

She shrugged her shoulders and bit her lower lip. “It’s true. I need to learn to live as I am. Not what I wish I could be.”

“You are Dr. Mid-Nite.”

“I know that,” she promised softly, patting his arm. “But I’m Beth Chapel, too. I can’t be afraid of being me.”