#would just mean i lose touch with almost everyone i know in my life apart from a handful

[missnxthingg]

I CAN'T LIE TO YOU ✮ LN4

pairing: Lando Norris x bestie!Reader (childhood best friends to lovers) summary: Lando Norris decides to surprise his best friend after being a long time away from home. What she didn't expect was that he had a big secret that he couldn't share with her words: 4.5K - warnings: swearing, suggestive content & not proof read author's notes: I'm back once again! Now you just know I'm a sucker for childhood besties to lovers. Also, I may have already started writing a part two for this one... let me know if you want it!

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The days in England have become more boring with time. Y/N was losing her mind over the repetitive routine that follows the life of a college student. Work, study, beer with close friends and bed. So when her mother invited her for a family dinner, she worried about how excited she got with the event. It wasn’t supposed to be anything special, just her parents and a few of their close friends gathered to catch up over nice food. 

Coming home felt way too good. It’s a feeling most college students get when they go back to their hometown, leaving their crappy flat in university to be served with their parents pampering during their quick visit. Y/N was supposed to be back to her place in just a couple of days, but she felt satisfied to be in a different place than the four walls of her house. Not to mention that she was having a good laugh with everyone at the table.

Her mother always takes dinner parties to another level, serving the best food in her special crockery, saved for moments like this. So Y/N packed a nice new outfit; a cute long-sleeved dress that looked perfect with tights and heels. Not that the guests cared about how she was dressed, but it felt nice to look beautiful and all put together for once after months of hoodies and leggings.

As usual, her parents invited the Norris family, as they’ve been the best of friends for the longest time. Not only they lived next to each other for years back when she was younger, all of their kids were really close friends with Y/N. But the spotlight always goes to Lando, who is the same age as her, making them grow up attached to the hip.

They all grew up going to the same school, not to mention that she would always tag along in Lando and his brother’s karting sessions, having the best time watching them drive flawlessly on tracks. He always enjoyed the times when she’d steal her parents cameras so they could make some homemade videos of their time together. Or when they would sit back, watch their dads play golf every Saturday and share candies in the cart. 

  Y/N and Lando have been inseparable since the age of four, growing up side by side, going through everything together. She was so important to him that, when he joined Formula 1 and had to choose a number to race, he chose the age the two of them had become friends. 

“The number four is for my best friend, Y/N. She was the one to suggest it, and the meaning behind it is very cute. Actually, I don’t want to tell you to not spoil anything, but I can only say that it’s very dear to my heart”, Lando said once in an interview during his second season in F1, making every single one of his fans curious about the meaning.

But it’s been a while since the infamous duo had been together. They supported each other from afar; Y/N sometimes joining him for race weekends and Lando coming back to see her on birthdays and weekends in London, while he visited the McLaren factory. But the last time they had been together was four months ago, during summer break, when he dragged her to join him for his crazy trips around the world. When racing and university was back on, they lost a little bit of touch; almost no calls and only a few texting breaks so they wouldn’t fall apart.

A lot happened in those four months. Lando had a new gorgeous girlfriend; a model who everyone had become obsessed with her TikTok videos for beauty tips. They had been seen together a few times around the world, her joining him for the races and a lot of make-outs behind DJ booths at parties. Y/N, on the other hand, was lacking in the dating department. But the friends she made over the past year made everything worthy. After years of pretty much having Lando as her only very close friend, she finally found new people to go out and have fun as a normal 20-year-old.

With that, Y/N and Lando’s friendship got weird. He had been avoiding her for a while, with the excuse of being too busy with racing, but actually not wanting to talk about his personal life with someone who knew him like the palm of her hand. Meanwhile, she was having a good time with her friends to be bothered by anything. But lately, life had become more boring and Y/N felt like having Lando back would bring some more fun into her life again, with all the epic parties and the good times they always managed to happen.

“Only one month left”, she thought, as winter break was approaching, meaning that Lando would finally be free to come home for the holidays.

She was pushed out of her thoughts by Adam Norris, who now seemed interest in Y/N’s life after a long catching up with her dad. “Tell us more about college! Are you having fun? Learning anything special?”, he asked with a kind smile.

“Oh, I’m graduating this spring, so it’s been… rough”, she chuckled. “But everything has been amazing, you know? The internship is so cool and the people are nice as well”.

“I just can’t believe it will all be over soon”, his wife, Cisca, responded. “It feels like it was just yesterday when you joined uni and Lando started his first season in F1. Time really flies, uhm?”

Every mention of his name made Y/N smile like a fool. But lately, it has been accompanied by a ting of pain on her chest. God, she missed him so much.

“What is it that you miss?”, Cisca asked, pulling Y/N out of her thoughts. Shit, did she say that out loud?

“I said I missed your pie so much, Cis. You know I have always loved it growing up”, Y/N tried to cover it up by stuffing her mouth with the cheesy pie, trying to keep her thoughts of being spoken out loud. But something caught her by surprise.

“Yeah, mum’s pie is the best in the world, isn’t it?”, a male voice said from behind her, one that she hadn’t heard in person for a while. Her eyes widened when she realized who it was, only to turn around and see Lando standing right behind her tugged into his signature comfortable hoodie, with a giant smile plastered on his face, and a bouquet in his hands. “Surprise!”

Y/N brought her hands up to her mouth, trying not to cry at the sight. She couldn’t believe what was standing in front of her. So she jumped out of her seat and jumped into his arms, not caring about anyone else in the room or the flowers being crumpled up in his hands. Lando buried his nose in her hair, taking in her scent, making him feel at ease for once

“What are you doing here?”, she leaned back, holding his face between her hands. His soft eyes looked down at her, his smile never faltering.

“I thought I could surprise my best girl”, he admitted, digging one of his hands into her hips, making her securely close to him. “I had a break before the end of the season, and it had been so long…”

“Shut up, you idiot. I just want to hug you”, she cut him mid-sentence, burying her face in his neck, making his smile even wider, if that was possible. Everyone on the table laughed at her reaction, but let them have their moment after months without seeing each other. It felt too good to be true. 

“I missed you so much”, he whispered in her ear, pressing a small kiss to the top of her head.

“I missed you too. Welcome home, Lan”, she leaned back and kissed his cheek, making it tinted red. Lando was so cute when he blushed. “You brought me flowers! How cute is this?”

She took the giant bouquet filled with red and pink roses out of his hands, bringing it close to her body. “It’s an apology for not being here as much as I should”, he said, making her heart so warm with the thoughtful gift.

“You being here is enough”, she pressed another kiss to his cheek and quickly pulled him for another hug. They just couldn’t get enough of each other.

“Alright, we all know you both really miss each other, but you can catch up after dinner. Food is getting cold and poor Lando must be starving”, her mother cut them off, making Y/N look back at the table, her face burning in embarrassment. He laughed at her behavior and pulled the chair next to her so they could sit together.

Through the whole dinner, Lando told all of his amazing stories traveling the world, leaving all the ‘best friends only’ parts for later, when he would be alone with Y/N. She felt so happy to finally have him by her side, making fun of her table manners, resting his hand on her knee and cracking any bad jokes just to see her roll her eyes. And even though he lived those many adventures, Lando knew life couldn’t get better than having his favourite person in the world back on his side.

“So, Lando, what finally brings you back home?”, Y/N’s father asked, making him shrug.

“You know, the championship could’ve been better and I feel really tired, you know?”, Lando searched for his best friend’s hand under the table, entwining their fingers once they met. Then he looked at her with an adoring smile on his face. “I just need some recharging. Thought I could use some home time before the last few races of the year”.

“You’re always welcomed to recharge in our house if you want to, Lando”, her mother said before the conversation was taken somewhere else once again.

While everyone else chatted, Y/N and Lando updated their phone gallery with new pictures of them. A lot of cute selfies and pictures of their homemade dinner which soon found their place on their Instagrams.

y/username

liked by landonorris and 3,419 others

y/username: always feels good to have my best friend back in the house

tagged: landonorris

landonorris Besties reunited LFG!

↪ y/username you’re such a bore

fanacc1 FINALLY SOME Y/N AND LANDO CONTENT

fanacc2 Wasn’t him dating a model?

↪fanacc3 He is, but Y/N is his childhood best friend

fanacc4 ugh, if i was his gf, i would be so jealous of them together

↪fanacc5 I bet his girlfriend actually hates them

fanacc6 Does this mean more Y/N around the paddock?

The dinner was coming to an end with the delicious sweet treats they prepared for dessert. At that point, Lando and Y/N were just existing at the conversation. He slipped an arm around her shoulder and she found a comfortable spot to lean into him and keep sipping on her wine while they shared a slice of cake. But even though they were quiet, they surely weren’t tired. So as the rest of the adults continued with their chat, they took their glasses of wine to the backyard, just so they could have some alone time.

Lando chuckled when he saw what was still standing strong in her backyard. “You still have our old treehouse?”, he asked and she nodded excitedly. “Wow, it looks so much nicer than before”.

“It’s because I renovated it, you fool. Haven’t I told you?”, she asked, but Lando shook his head. “Oh my… you have to see this! Now it’s a grown up treehouse! Take a look”.

Y/N dragged him to the small construction and made him climb all the way up to the house. It changed a lot with the renovations. Their wall doodles from when they were little kids were preserved by a varnish coat on the wood. She also substituted the old toys for books and her collection of vinyls, making the place look extra cozy. There was even a table for afternoon tea and card games, a TV and a huge futon, with lots of cushions, so they could just lie down and spend the rest of the day hidden from the world.

“What a glow up!”, he joked. “I loved it. This is amazing”, Lando took a place next to the window, where the moonlight invaded the room. Y/N sat next to him and almost immediately pulled out her camera just to capture the moment. And just like old times, they had fun doing a tiny photoshoot together, only to be cut off by his mom, calling them from the ground.

“Are you coming, Lando?”, Cisca asked, making him look over to Y/N, who replied for him.

“I’m not letting him go anywhere, Cisca”, she joked, throwing her arms around Lando, making his mother laugh. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of your son”.

“Have fun you two”, they waved at her and sighed after finally being left alone for a proper catching up between best friends. Lando had a satisfied smile on his face and he felt so calm at that moment. He threw both of his arms around his best friend and hugged her tightly.

“Home, at last”, his cheek was pressed on the side of her face, making her giggle with the contact. “I want to know everything going on with you. Just blurt it all out. I owe you this”.

“Oh, nothing great happened”, she shrugged. “Nothing that you didn’t know already. The internship is nice, but it’s coming to an end soon and I’m not sure they’ll keep me with them. And college is almost finished, so that’s kind of bittersweet”.

“I thought you were excited to have a degree”, he said, making her sigh. “Are you not happy about graduating?”

“Of course I am. You more than anyone knows how important this is to me”, she answered. “And I made so many good friends and I’ve been having the best time with them. I know graduating will make us grow apart”.

“Endings aren’t always nice, uhm? But you have to look at the bright side of things”, he started. “You’re finally achieving something great and you managed to have a really good time along the way. Made friends and worked really hard to become the best professional out there. I’m so proud of you!”

Lando has always been her biggest supporter on pursuing her academic path. He remembers all the talks they had about her wanting to master in communications. While he didn’t get to finish school to up his game in racing, he was there for every step his best friend took until enrolling in university. So when they talk about it, he always has that beautiful proud smile on his face, to which Y/N loved seeing.

“Thank you”, she smiled shyly. “And what about you, Mr Worldwide? You’ve been everywhere these past months. How was it?”

“Oh, always amazing”, he beamed. “I got to see so many amazing places around the world. You would’ve loved all the clubs I went to. The DJ booths are amazing. Oh, and the golf courts… breathtaking”.

“Yeah, I saw all the pictures”, Y/N arched her brows and rolled her eyes. “You didn’t even bother on calling, telling me about your adventures”.

“Sorry, I lacked in that department”, he apologized. “Even though everything has been amazing, I’m so tired of this year. I could’ve done better on the track and the last few races have been exhausting. I knew that I needed to recharge before the last two races, so I came back to you”.

“It’s always a pleasure to have you home”, she ran her hand through his curls and smiled. Lando always saw Y/N as his home. She always brings him that sense of familiarity, and her absence in his travels around the world were taking a toll on him.

Not to mention that hiding a big secret from his best friend also wasn’t doing him any good.

“But I’m not here to talk about me. I want to know everything about you”, he poked her side with his index finger and smirked. “Anyone special appeared in your life in the past few months?”

“Please”, she rolled her eyes. “The last time I had a proper hook up was during our summer trip to Bali with that guy on the club”.

“Come on, it can’t be that bad”, he giggled, but Y/N’s face was burning in embarrassment.

“I had a few dates in the past months, but fuck me, they were annoying”, Lando laughed at her statement. “One of them found out you’re my best friend and spent the entire time asking questions about you. And the only guy who was actually decent came in his pants when we were making out in his car. Didn’t even get to touch me”. 

“Oh, poor you”, he giggled. “So no boy to be my new best friend? I mean, come on, we need more male energy in this friendship”.

“Sorry, Lan. No boyfriend this time”, she said. “You, on the other hand, started dating this gorgeous model and forgot to tell me about everything.”

And there she said it: the topic Lando had been avoiding the most throughout the whole night. He really didn’t want to talk about it with Y/N, because his big secret had been hiding right there. He knew he couldn’t, and didn’t want to, lie about anything to her. And he also knew that he really needed to vent about this secret with her as well.

Lando turned really quiet, and looked away, avoiding her eyes. “Don’t start now, Y/N. I mean, there’s not much to say, to be fair”, he mumbled.

“Come on, I want to know everything about the woman who stole my bestie’s heart”, she poked him, but Lando didn’t dare to look Y/N in the eyes. “I mean, everybody loves her and she seems sweet. Why don’t you want to tell me about her?”

“Because we’re not together”.

“What do you mean? I’ve seen the Instagram pictures and the gossip pages posting videos of you two kissing in the club. I thought you were becoming a thing”.

“Y/N, don’t push it”, he asked, his voice bargaining on his throat.

“Why don’t you want to tell me about her?”

“Because we’re not together, I told you”, he sighed. “She’s a PR stunt. She’s not my girlfriend, and it’s been consuming me from the inside ever since we started this little thing”.

Lando finally looked her in the eyes and Y/N saw them brimming with tears. As an immediate response, she rested a hand on his arm and waited until he was ready to talk more. He leaned into her touch and the tears started to stream down his face. He’s never one to cry for anything, so the tears meant that it was so much more than he was letting show. Her heart broke at the sight of her best friend.

“Is this why you look more tired than usual?”, Y/N asked and he nodded, making the tears fall harder. “Oh, Lan… Come here”.

She pulled his head to rest on her chest and Lando wrapped his arms around her, needing some sort of comfort. He didn’t say much for a couple of minutes after, feeling his heart aching on his chest. He wanted to talk about everything with Y/N, because he knew she would understand him. He always feels vulnerable and safe enough to talk about anything with his best friend. 

“Everything is so fucked up, Y/N”, Lando cried out. “God, I can’t take this fake relationship anymore. Do you know how disgusting it feels to pretend to be in love with someone you’re not? And to lie to everyone, hiding it from my parents. From you. I can’t stand it”

“I’m sure you have a good reason to be doing so”, she said, fingers running through his curls and making him sure that she was right there with him. Y/N felt his fingers clinging tighter onto her. “You’re just doing your job and that’s okay. This won’t last forever”.

“I feel so lonely, you know? I was doing so bad on the last few races and I missed home so much. I missed talking to my dad and hugging my mom. I missed making fun of my sisters and going for a drive with my brother. And I missed you so much. I wish I could just stay here for a long while”.

“Soon you’ll get to be here for as long as you want, baby”, Y/N pressed a kiss on top of his head and Lando sighed in comfort. It ached a little less with her there. “And we’ll get to spend so much time together. You can come over and we’ll have sleepovers. We can take the car, drive around and go clubbing until sunrise. Whatever you want”.

“God, it would be so easy if it was you”, he whispered, still holding onto her as if his life depended on it. What did he mean with that? Just those single words made Y/N’s heart skip a beat. Truth is, while her heart ached for her best friend, she was relieved he’s not in love with someone else. Did he have feelings for her? 

“You know, I looked over my so-called girlfriend one night while we were hanging out at the club and I wanted to shout to everyone that it was all an act. She’s like a solid reminder of how lonely I am all the damn time. It’s ridiculous”, he grunted. 

“Come on, look at me”, Y/N pulled his face to look up and held his head between her hands. “Lan, you are never alone, okay? Even if you feel like you are, and even if I’m not there physically, you know that I’m always with you. I’m right here”, she rested a hand over his heart, making him smile through his tears. “I've been in your heart since the moment we met”.

“I…”, he started, but couldn’t get to say the rest. After all this time, Lando was afraid that the next move would ruin their friendship forever. But looking her in the eyes, comforting him through this rough time, he knew she felt the same. “I love you, Y/N”.

She was expecting anything. ‘I know’, maybe. That was so much bigger than what she imagined. Lando had said he loved her countless times over the years they’ve known each other; after all, they grew up together, almost like brother and sister. But this time, it was different. Y/N knew it, and Lando knew it too.

Y/N was too stunned to speak, so he continued with his confession. “I always have, you know? And I only hid everything from you because I can’t lie to you. And because I thought you’d never look at me the same way if you found out”.

“Lando, I…” she stopped mid-sentence, trying to catch some air. “Fuck, this is a lot. Just wait a second”.

They giggled together and he leaned his forehead against hers. “It’s okay to not say anything right now. I just dropped a giant bomb on your lap. This wasn’t the way I wanted to confess to you, but I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore”.

“Are you saying this because you’re emotional? Because I swear to God, if you are, I’m gonna kill you for misleading me”, her eyes were brimming with tears and Lando whipped them away.

“I’m telling you the truth”, he assured. “I think I’ve loved you my entire life. With all the crazy things I’ve experienced in my life, you were the only constant. You’re home, Y/N”.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”, she asked and he took a deep breath.

“Because I was afraid of losing you. Scared this might ruin our friendship somehow”, he admitted. “You’re the most precious thing in my life. Do you know how scary it is to fall in love with your best friend when you’re just a kid? And then grow up, and those feelings never go away, just getting stronger every day. I just didn’t want to lose you”.

“You weren’t going to lose me, Lan”, her eyes softened at his confession and now he was the one wiping her tears. Y/N brought him back for a hug and even though he didn’t have an answer, deep down he knew she felt the same.

“I’ve loved you since we were four. There’s a reason why I always carry this number with me”, Lando confessed. “God, look what you do to me. I never cry”.

“You only cry for the important things”, she reminded. “That’s why I love you, Lando. I’ve been in love with you for my entire life too, idiot”.

His eyes widened as he looked up to her, who had a smirk plastered on her face. “Can I kiss you?”, Lando asked, but before she could properly shake her head in agreement, he crashed his lips into hers. He needed to be home, and Y/N has always been home for him. It was the most intense kiss they ever had, like years of lingering had finally paid off for both of them.

Lando pulled her closer with a hand on the back of her head. She wrapped her fingers around his neck, smiling into his lips. Then, as if it wasn't enough, he pulled her to sit on lap, making them closer somehow. She slowed down the pace, making the kiss needier and more delicious. Lando even let out a satisfied throaty moan, his heart speeding on his chest. Her touches made him feral, knowing that after years of pinning, he finally had his dream girl.

“Thank you for this”, he whispered against her lips, a wide and satisfied smile on his face. “Thank you for all the years, all the times you've been here for me, to tell me everything is going to be alright.”

“Always, Lan”, she played with the hairs on his nape. “I love you so much”.

“I love you too. So much”, he left one more peck on her lips before hugging her again. “I don't know what I'd do without you”.

“Yeah, me too”.

The story of how they fell in love with each other was long, but beautiful. Lando and Y/N sat in that tree house all night and shared all of those stories with each other. And for a second, he really believed everything was going to work out. After all, if he had Y/N, Lando would be just fine.

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

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[dilemmaontwolegs]

Hiiii I absolutely loved you Max fics I don’t know if you ever would want to do that but if your interested please do a mafia storyline with Max or Mick! ❤️

Little Lion Man || MV1 & CH16

Pairings: dark!Charles Leclerc x fem!reader, Max Verstappen x fem!reader Summary: you find yourself caught in a war between the mafia families that ruled Monaco. Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, guns, murder, pregnancy, slight non con/reluctant vibes, forced marriage WC: 3.5k

For a nation so small it was hard to believe that Monaco could be home to not one but three mafia families. There was the Leclerc famile, Verstsppen familie and the Sainz familia. The Leclerc’s had always called Monaco home but the Dutch and Spanish families had made their arrival known in the 90’s, almost burning the city in the war that broke out.

Just over 30 years later, it looked like history was going to repeat itself as the prodigal sons took over the family businesses.

“You are my daughter, if I say you will marry Charles then you will marry him. End of argument.” You would hardly call it an argument when you weren’t even given an opportunity to say your piece but your father left no room for a rebuttal as he slammed the door closed behind him. There was a reason the Sainz’s called him the Peacemaker.

You were a bargaining chip, a pawn in your father’s arsenal to end the war between the Leclerc’s and the Sainz’s before it could spill out into the street and affect everyone’s bottom line. The last thing anyone wanted was to lose their men, their money and their product.

Two weeks later you were shoved into a wedding dress that could have been a film prop for any 80’s rom-com, puffy sleeves and all. It was hideous.

“You are quite beautiful,” Charles said as you reached the dais where the priest waited. “I suppose that will make this easier.”

By ‘this’ you assumed he meant the moment the reception was over and you found yourself stepping into his bedroom, your bedroom too now. Charles had been quiet for most of the evening, indulging in a handful of whiskeys over ice as he mulled over what his life had become, but he found his voice as he tugged his tie off. “On the bed.”

Your fingers tightened around your waist as you hugged yourself, trying to fight back the tears you thought you had finished shedding when you resigned yourself to your fate. “You don’t have to do this, we can come to an arrangement.”

Charles scoffed and continued to unbutton his dress shirt. “This is the arrangement.”

You swallowed as he shucked the shirt over a leather armrest and you saw the dark tattoos that curled over his biceps and down his forearms. A snake moved with his muscles and entwined around a gothic cross. Beneath it, thorny roses with blood drops splattered over the petals decorated the otherwise sun kissed skin.

“I don’t know what my father told you but I-”

“Your father said you would be an obedient wife,” he interrupted as he pointed a ringed finger to the bed. “I’m only as terrible as you make me.”

You took a step back as he stepped closer, his hand lifting to your face. It was reflex to flinch from his touch, knowing the violence his hands were capable of dealing to those who displeased him. You couldn’t help shivering as his cold wedding band touched your cheek and his other arm snaked around your waist, dragging the zip of your dress down your spine.

“What does that even mean?” you whispered. You took a breath and grew the courage to tip your head back and met his uniquely green eyes - the colour brighter than the soul behind them.

He pushed the puffed sleeves from your shoulders until the dress fell to the floor and inhaled at the sight of your body being bared to him. Biting his lip, he stepped back and ran a hand over his shadow of a beard. “Behave yourself, and I will too. Push me, and I’ll push you back harder.”

You felt the colour drain from your face at the threat and he chuckled as he closed the distance between you, forcing your lips apart with a demanding kiss. His palms ran down your spine and over the curve of your ass, pulling you flush against the hard expanse of his body.

“One other thing,” he murmured against your lips. “Disappoint me or my family and, well…it will be the last thing you do, chérie.”

You collapsed into Max’s arms the moment he opened the door, your fingers digging into the straps of muscle along his back as you clung to him like a lifeline. The penthouse apartment was quiet except for the tv playing in the master bedroom and your sobs filled the foyer before he could even close the door.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Max said, despite holding you just as tight. “He probably has Arthur or Lorenzo following you.”

You started to pull back but his arms caged you in his embrace so you settled for talking into his chest. “I know how to lose a tail. I was careful.”

He sighed and rested his cheek on your head, inhaling the floral scent of your shampoo he had missed. “I know, liefje. How long is he gone for?”

You screwed your eyes closed and wished he had never brought Charles up, but you knew Max wanted to know how long he could have with you. “He’s in Nice for a meeting. A few hours at least.”

The hatred for your husband had led you into the arms of Max, his rival and head of the Verstappen familie. The three families would meet each quarter for negotiations and settle disputes, or at least that was what it was meant for, but they just used it as a way to flaunt their wealth and success over each other.

It was after the wedding when you went to your first one that Max had caught your lifeless eyes as you sat beside Charles, decked out in a custom designer dress with diamonds strung around your neck, slowly choking you. He had been struck down by the vision before him and had never wanted something for himself so much in his life. He had been willing to go to war for you and he didn’t even know your name. He had learned it soon enough.

“Do you know who he’s meeting?” Max asked. Even when he wasn’t meaning to he was phishing for information, a reflex he couldn’t seem to stop with a mind as sharp as his.

“Please, mijn leeuw, not tonight,” you whined as you buried your face in his neck. (My lion)

“I’m sorry,” he said with a kiss to your forehead before he tipped your chin back to meet his ice-blue eyes. “What do you need from me, liefje?”

“I need to forget. Please, help me forget.”

Max closed his eyes as rage hardened his features and you knew he was rueing the day he let Charles live. The solution to your problem couldn’t be solved with a bullet and although Max knew that, it was still a bitter pill to swallow. He wanted nothing more than to bathe in Charles’ blood for what he had done to you, but the retaliation would be catastrophic. He had too many people relying on him, friends and family alike.

All Max could give you was a few short hours of his time to show you how he would treat you if the circumstances had been kinder. For a few short hours of stolen time he could erase the touch of Charles from your mind.

Max took your hand, his fingers easing your wedding ring off before placing it on the hall table with your handbag. You relished the freedom that came without the constricting band and flexed your fingers like it had been physically painful to wear the gold jewellery. In a way, it had.

Linking his fingers with yours, Max led the way through the apartment and into the bedroom you found comfort in. This should have been the place you called home, the solace you returned to at the day’s end. It was the one place you felt safe, even though just being here put your life in danger. If Charles ever found out you knew you would be dead, your body left somewhere it would never be found.

“Max…do you believe in God?” you asked in the quiet afterwards. Your arm was curled around his waist, fingers tracing the lion tattoo that covered his rib cage. You could feel the time ticking away with each heartbeat in his chest that you rested your head upon.

“No,” he said honestly, his accent thickening with his amusement. “Do you?”

You looked at the slight change in skin tone where your wedding band usually sat and slipped out of his embrace to find your clothes. “I have to,” you whispered as your throat began to tighten at the thought of returning to the cold mansion Charles owned. “There’s got to be something more than this hell. Maybe one day he will answer my prayers.”

Max could remember the feeling of taking over the family business, how he thought he was invincible - godlike even. Now he felt powerless to the situation. He didn’t like the feeling. He wanted to be the one to answer your prayer.

“One day…” he promised himself aloud, missing the way your spine stiffened at the words. There was no guarantee you would survive long enough for him to keep it.

You stared dumbly at the two pink lines and felt the walls of the bathroom constricting around you. You couldn’t imagine bringing a child into the world you were imprisoned in, it was unfair and deadly. What if the babe had dirty blond hair and ice blue eyes? A new fear sent a shudder down your body and you looked at your stomach, nothing to show - yet.

The door crashed off its hinges as Charles busted it in and you screamed at the surprise, cradling your abdomen on reflex.

“I called you ten fucking times!” Charles growled. His eyes narrowed as they scanned the room before settling on the pregnancy tests lined up. For the first time since you had wed him, Charles looked lost for words, and after a moment his hard stare softened. “We are having a baby?”

You couldn’t remember when he ever addressed anything as ‘we’, it was always you and him - separate, not together. You didn’t know how to react to the instant change in him but you nodded stiffly as he waited for an answer.

A smile grew on his face as he stepped forward and pulled your hands away from your stomach to place his own beneath your camisole. “My son, my heir,” he chuckled, the warmth of his palms almost blistering your skin.

“It might be a girl.” You flinch at the look he gave you and muttered an apology. Just because he was suddenly being gentle didn’t mean he would stay that way, especially if he ever found out the child wasn’t his. Nausea rolled through you and you pushed away to hurdle yourself at the toilet before you emptied your stomach.

It wasn’t morning sickness.

It was a sickness of the heart.

You knew if Max were to believe the child was his then he would have no choice but to go to war, it was a matter of pride and family. On the other hand, Charles would never let the child live if it wasn’t his and despite just learning of its existence, you were willing to do anything to protect it. You needed to tread carefully and that meant no more escaping your guards to see Max. It meant playing the good wife, at least for the next eight months.

You could feel his intense stare from across the table, willing you to meet his eyes. Too many times you felt them drifting up from your husband’s hand clasped on your lap only to snap them back down before you could give in. It would do no good to look at Max. You hadn’t seen him since the night before you took the pregnancy test and you had dreaded going to the quarterly meeting.

There was no hiding the bump in the tight dress Charles had chosen for you. There was no way that Max had missed it when you walked in on your husband’s arm. He had seen it and he had questions.

“I’m going to the ladies room,” you excused yourself after the meal, while the men talked business.

“Arthur will go with you,” Charles said with a nod to his younger brother sitting at his other side. “I don’t trust any of these assholes.”

His hand lingered on the small of your back as you stepped out and you glanced across to see Max’s eyes fixated on that touch. Though you did not welcome the hands of your husband, you no longer feared them the way you used to. Charles was far gentler now that you were, potentially, carrying his heir. It could also be Max’s.

A hand clasped over your mouth and silenced the scream that rose in your throat. “It’s me,” Max whispered, soothing your racing heart.

You looked around the powder room wondering how he had made it past Arthur and saw a narrow cleaner’s entrance left open a crack. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“You never came back, never answered my messages.” The hurt in Max’s voice made your chest ache and your hands dropped to the growing swell of your abdomen. He followed that movement, his chest filling with the deep breath he took and the pearl buttons on his shirt started to strain until he exhaled. “I didn’t believe the rumours.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he asked, the biting tone wanting detailed explanations like you were one of his men answering for your actions.

Your lips parted, ready to tell him exactly what you were sorry for, before they slammed shut. “I should go.”

He caught your arm as you moved past and he pulled you flush against his body to bury his face in your neck. “Tell me, please. I’ll make it happen, I’ll answer your prayers, I’ll go to war for you - for both of you. Just tell me, is it mine?”

The confession threatened to slip past your lips, the truth that you didn’t know, that he very likely could be. The confession threatened to eat you alive like it had done every time you saw one of Max’s men around Monaco. They always managed to get a message to you, but you never had a response to send.

“No,” you muttered as you pushed him away.

He rocked back on his heels but remained steady as he watched you retreat to the exit. “No, it isn’t mine or no, you won’t tell me?”

Your back hit the door and you blindly reached for the handle, sparing one last look at his shimmering eyes so you could remember them a little longer. “Whatever helps you to sleep at night.”

“Dammit, liefje, just tell me. I need to know.”

You broke away at the endearment that weakened your resolve and your shoulders curled in on themselves. “I can’t tell you, Max, because I don’t know. I. Don’t. Know.” Your voice cracked and the weight of those words fell tenfold on your shoulders as your hand slipped from the doorknob. “I don’t know who the father is, Max. I-I’m sorry.”

His strong arms grappled you into a tight embrace as you broke down in them, your knees giving out as you felt his lips on your forehead, smelt his cologne on his neck. “It’s okay, liefje, I'm going to fix this.”

You pulled back with eyes and blinked away the tears as you placed your hand on your belly. “How? What if it’s not yours?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything,” he promised as he tipped your chin back. “Mine or not, this baby is yours and that’s enough.”

A knock sounded at the door and you panicked as Arthur asked if everything was alright. Your reply was muffled as Max stole a kiss and quietly repeated his promise before disappearing back into the cleaner’s room. Wiping your eyes, you unlocked the door and met your brother-in-law’s narrowed eyes before they searched the room behind you. “You’ve been crying.”

“Pregnancy,” you said with a wave of your hand. “It’s called hormones, Tur. Happens all the time, just ask your brother.”

Max’s chair was still empty when you reached the table but he entered from the main door a few minutes later. The mask he often wore in front of those outside the familie was firmly in place as he unbuttoned his suit with one hand and dropped back into his seat, apologising for taking an important call.

“Your men can't handle one evening on their own?” Charles baited over the rim of his wine glass with an antagonising smile.

Max returned the grin with his own as he slipped his phone into his suit jacket. “You have no idea what my men are capable of.”

You could feel the ripples of those words across the table, the feel of a threat in the air. It not only set Charles on edge but Carlos too - the two sharing a look of concern before facing the Dutchman once more.

Max took a mouthful of his gin and tonic and bit into the lime wedge without reacting to the strong citrus taste. Taking his time, he picked up his napkin and cleaned the drops of juice from his fingers before laying it over his lap as everyone watched closely.

It looked as if he were nervously fiddling with his rings under the napkin and Carlos snickered, relaxing back into his chair until your lion spoke again. “But you will…”

The air stilled for a moment as the napkin drifted to the floor and warmth splattered your cheek. You couldn’t think fast enough to process what had happened or why the wetness on your cheek was red. It could have been minutes but it felt like hours before your brain connected the dots and you saw your husband's body slumped in his chair before you, his green eyes open but unseeing.

Across the table, Max had risen to his feet, the fidgeting revealing a silencer he had been screwing onto his gun. He was cold and precise as he took out Carlos next, his accuracy unmatched. Around the seats he went, faster than they could react as the doors were busted open and his second in command arrived. Danny was ready to die protecting Max’s back while you dropped to the floor and prayed for protection of your own.

“We have to get out of here,” Arthur growled as he caught your ankle and dragged you back where he was kneeling, his white chinos turning red as they absorbed his brother’s blood. “Stay low, protect my nephew.”

“Do you have a gun?” you asked with a shaking voice.

“Of course not,” he spat angrily. No one was meant to have weapons at these meetings and you were assuming Max had retrieved his from the reception area before returning.

“Then you’re fucked.” You kicked your Louboutin into his face and scrambled away as he howled in pain, reaching the edge of the table close to Max.

“Liefje, are you alright?”

“Arthur, under there,” you rushed as you pointed behind you, closing your eyes as he lifted the cloth and the muffled gunshot rang out.

“Not anymore.”

“Time to go,” Danny suggested, reloading his magazine and kicking a few bodies to check they were truly dead.

“Is that it?” You asked, hope filling your voice despite the devastation in the room surrounding you.

Daniel threw his head back and laughed but Max just shook his head and said, “This is just the beginning. We just declared war.”

“But they’re dead.”

“Someone will take over, and when they do - we will need to be ready.” Max reached out and wiped the blood from your cheek. “You’re free of him now, you both are.”

Your breath rattled out of you as you felt the weight lift from your shoulders and as the sirens grew in the distance you managed to smile, the first genuine smile in months. Your prayers had finally been answered. “Thank you, mijn leeuw.”

Five Months Later

Ice blue eyes met yours before a piercing cry erupted and Max’s laugh was one of pure joy. “Mijn zoon,” he cooed softly as he rested his cheek on your head and you watched the midwife gently bring your son to your waiting arms.

Tears blurred your vision at the warm comforting weight of his tiny body lying chest to chest with you. You had never felt anything more precious, never held anything more delicate. He was perfect.

“My little lion man,” you whispered, brushing a kiss over the tufts of dark hair he already had. “We love you so much.”

As if he knew what the words meant, his eyelashes fluttered and he peeked them open to bear twin green irises. He would be an heir. He could unite the families. Or, he could tear it all apart.

Only time would tell.

[annebonyy]

i didnt think i could hate using social media more than when we were all collectively on fb but wow ig has really surpassed itself

[jqhotchner]

quest

seven

warning: mentions of sexual relationships

when you parked your car at the coffee shop emily told you to meet aaron your heart pounded. you had no idea what was coming. all you knew was he was upset.

he had every right to be. you kept his kids from him. you didn’t even let him explain what emily saw. come to think of it, you didn’t even let emily explain.

as soon as you heard her utter the words ‘i saw hotch and haley in his office’ you ended the call. you couldn’t hear anymore. but knowing what you do now, you felt you deserved everything coming to you.

spotting aaron sitting at a table you take a deep breath and head inside. you sit right across from him and give him a small smile.

aaron hands you a cup. “decaf still, right?”

you hum as you take a sip. “thank you.”

the two of you sat in silence for a minute. it felt longer though. you missed him. everything about aaron you missed. you missed the way he smelled, his beautiful smile, the way he made you laugh, the way he listened. you missed his touch.

his touch,

god did you miss the way aaron touched you. rather it would be as simple as holding your hand or the way he would hold you when you fucked.

aaron could be a gentle lover. he would whisper sweet nothings in your ear as he made love to you. tell you how beautiful you were and how good you were to him.

but he was also rough! if he got a little jealous or you two argued about something so minor, he’d fuck you like you meant absolutely nothing to him! and you loved it.

you tried not to think too much about it, but you noticed he has been working out. his muscles were bulging more than before.

you also noticed he still wore his wedding band. something you felt a sense of pride in. despite being divorced he still showed everyone he was taken. even if it weren’t true.

you did same. you loved aaron. knowing you could never move on from the man that gave you the best years of your life and the three, four babies you adored! nothing would ever change that. if wearing the ring meant you would never be with anyone else again, you were okay with that.

“should we start?”

you didn’t know what to say. just humming as he cleared his throat.

“i made a promise to you i would love you unconditionally. i married you because i meant every single word. and i would never intentionally hurt the woman i love. i broke that vow by have an emotional affair with my ex wife. i hugged her for too long, held her hand, kissed her cheek, even cuddled her from time to time. but i never went as far as sleeping with her. and i wouldn’t have blamed you if you wanted to divorce me after knowing the truth. instead you left. part of me kinda happy you did. foyet was after me and my family. it’s one of the reasons why haley and i reconnected. i needed him to see he could never break this family up. fortunately he didn’t know about you,”

“what do you mean?”

“i made sure the team kept you hidden from the moment we met. i didn’t need anyone to know i had remarried. if i could go back i would have done the same with haley.”

you wanted to hold his hand. you knew he was still grieving. haley was his first everything. completely losing her destroyed him. on top of losing you all in the span of a few months apart. he went through hell for the longest.

“after foyet died i tried finding you. i even tried to get penelope to trace you. she declined. i was very pissed i almost fired her. but she wanted to protect you. i couldn’t be mad at that,”

“aaron, im sorry. i—i thought with me out of the picture you’d be better off. i wanted you to be happy. i knew it would have been a hard decision if i stayed. i didn’t want you to choose me because i was pregnant. i wanted you to choose me because you loved me.”

“they’re my kids too yn! mine! you left knowing this. knowing that you were carrying our babies. i didn’t get to be there for them. i didn’t get to hold you hand while you gave birth, wake up all hours of the morning to feed them or change them, watch them start to crawl, watch them walk for the first time, i miss two birthdays yn!! two. you made that decision for me. you made the decision to leave and take our children with you. i—knowing this, finding this out from jj, i didn’t know how to feel.”

you turned your head guilty. you couldn’t look him in the eyes. you knew as soon as you did the tears would just come pouring out.

the two of you stayed silent for awhile. aaron clears his throat before speaking.

“i promised jack i would bring you home. please don’t break his heart again.” aaron states. he leaves money on the table before leaving you alone with your thoughts.

when you arrived at your sister house you sigh. all you wanted to do was hug your babies. you missed them and needed a little comfort right now.

the moment you saw them playing with their cousins you smiled. they were the cutest. you always wanted them to know their older cousins.

“mamma!” izzy was the first to spot you. she waddles her way towards you.

“izzy!” you copied her.

“miss mamma.” she smiles at you.

“miss you too baby. you and your siblings.”

“up, mummy!” aurora raises her arms.

you gently pick her up. you missed when you use to be able to carry all three of them at the same time. now they were bigger and a lot heavier. you could only pick them up in twos.

you kiss aurora’s cheek as you son walks over to you. he pulls on your shirt. you bend down to his level and set your other two babies down.

“hows my shy boy?”

he shrugs his shoulders. you frown. you really wished he was a little more outgoing. but you couldn’t blame him. you were just as shy growing up. you still are.

you kiss theo’s cheek gently. “mama missed all three of her babies.” you hug your kids tightly. not too tight to smoosh them. but enough.

“mama! you being silly.” isabella laughs.

“oh, am i?!” you start to tickle them. she giggles uncontrollably. you laugh before kissing them on the forehead.

“why don’t you go play with your cousins while i talk to your aunt, okay?”

your three mini me’s walk over to their cousins as you walk towards your sister.

“so, how’d you go?”

you sigh. “as good as it could. he wants me to move back home.”

“you have a life here though. he can’t expect you to pack your bags and move three two year olds!”

“i don’t know abby. i did take two years away from him and the triplets. plus i have a son back home who misses me.”

“well are you two gonna at least work your shit out? because if not then what?”

you shrug. “i gotta at least try, yeah? you didn’t see abby! we both still have our wedding bands on. legally we’re divorced but mentally and emotionally we’re still married. i have to fight for my marriage.”

“i understand little sister. i just worry. with everything that just happened i don’t want you to spiral. plus, i just got you back. i don’t want you to leave.” abigale pouts.

“i know. but ill be back to visit!”

“promise?”

“swear it.”

you two continue to talk. catching up on everything you missed before you headed out to figure out your move.

aaron had came by the next morning to help you pack and to meet the kids for the first time. he was nervous and excited all in one.

he knew what it was like to raise one child for nine years. now he was transitioning from one to four. he still couldn’t believe it.

he was a father of four. four beautiful kids who he adored. he already loved his babies. he couldn’t wait to raise them with you. and hopefully work your shit out to have more in the future.

when he arrived you weren’t shocked at all he had went shopping. he spoiled jack so much you just knew he’d spoil your other three.

“hi.”

“hey. come in! the kids are in their pen.” you opened the door wider to allow him inside. aaron smiles as he walks to the living room.

he got a bit of a glimpse of them the other day. seeing them face to face like this made him gasped. all three, beautiful as ever. you two made the cutest little babies.

“izzy, theo, roe! id like you to meet someone.” the three of them look up at their mom and sees a tall man. they had no idea who he was but he looked friendly.

“who’s that mamma?” izzy was the first to ask.

“remember how i told you daddy was off being a super hero and catching the bad guys? how he’d be back to take us home? well, he’s back. and he’s right there.”

“papa?” theo questioned.

aaron bends down. “that’s right! im your dad little buddy.”

“daddy!” izzy walked over to aaron and hugs him. aaron chuckled as he holds his daughter.

“love daddy.” aurora states.

aaron wanted to shed tears in that moment. but he held himself together and hugged all three of his kids as they walk over to him.

“goin home to brudder?” theodore asked.

“yeah. going home to brother.”

slow burn but not too slow because i don’t have the time for the shit! i want them together!!!!!

but how did you guys like this part? i think it’s cute! had to put the babies in there. they’re adorable

peep aaron already planning to have more kids with the reader!!

if you wanna be added or unadded to the taglist please let me know

taglist:

@ivebeenthearchersstuff @shergoretzxx @slut4ethan @rosiehale23 @madesavage05 @whotfskai

[wineauntharry]

best friends to enemies to lovers with Joe burrow plsss!! like when he got on the football team he became a douche and stopped being nice and that's why they r enemies

sorry it took so long to get to this hehe ily guys, i’ve gotten a lot of requests for a friends to enemies to lovers trope type thing so i combined them here! hope ya like it!

—-----

as it was// j.b.

Joe was no stranger to me. We had grown up in the same neighborhood. I remember swimming in eachother’s pools, having snowball fights, and our little movie night’s as kids. We were always interested in the same things, science, space, and animals. I would come over and play with his lizard every day after school.

We began to grow apart during high school. It was the beginning of his future and though I was as supportive as a childhood friend could be, things began to come between us. I was focused solely on my grades and Joe’s priority was getting into a D1 university to keep his career progressing. So when I found out he had gotten into Ohio State I was incredibly happy for him. I had gotten into Baylor and he knew it was my dream school. We were both so excited for eachother and what the future held.

Everyone always believed there was something between Joe and I, but we always kept it friendly. He was my prom date, first kiss, and best friend. I never knew what Joe was feeling, but then again was it even my business? All I needed to know is that we were friends still.

Before we both left for school we promised to stay in touch and never lose the friendship we had. We had only ever been comfortable with eachother, so we decided it would be best to be eachothers first…..and second, and third. But that doesn’t matter. This wasn’t some movie where the main characters went from friends to lovers or some shit like that.

The last time we saw eachother was winter break of our freshman year. We had been hanging out in his basement watching movies and scrolling on our phones when he spoke up out of nowhere.

“Y/N I’m so lucky to have a friend like you. Straight up no one has stuck by me like you have, and I hope you know I’m grateful.” He said

“I promise I believe you Joey, don’t worry.” I responded with a small giggle.

“I met somebody.” He blurted out. It almost sounded like he was saying something just to say something.

I didn’t respond right away partly because I didn’t know what to say and partly because I didn’t want to say anything.

“That’s good J, is she good to you?” I responded, we were just friends. I shouldn’t have to remind myself of that, but I do.

“Yeah, I just don’t want you to trip when I post her or some shit.” He said, by this time I could tell he was lying.

“Why would I?” I asked.

He started to respond. “Because you know-”

I had to cut him off before it got any deeper.

“Joe, we’re best friends, that's it. Plus, I want you to be happy. Yeah we messed around for a little but that doesn’t mean much. Our friendship comes before anything else.” I responded.

I could see disappointment take over his face. But what he said next was something I never expected to hear.

“You were just a good fuck if that’s the case. Friends or not, I thought you would at least care a little more.” He yelled.

“Joe what the fuck are you even saying right now, like actually. Do you want me to be jealous or something? You are the one who just brought up meeting a different girl.” I was shocked.

“I don’t know how I feel about you Y/N, I mean, our friendship or whatever you want to call it, has always been a little messy. I’ve loved you since we were kids.” He said

“Joe, if that was the case you would’ve at least made some room for me in your life when your football career took off. Nobody was there for you like I was and you know that.” I spat.

I could see his ears turn pink and bright flush starting to come over his cheeks, a tell-tale sign that he was about to cry.

“Look, I don’t know how we got here whether its this point of the conversation or our lives, but fuck Joe, why did you have to do this. Why did we have to do this? I just wanted to catch up and have a good night.” I said

“But since we’re bringing shit up, you have been a terrible fucking friend. You don’t answer texts let alone answer calls. We barely talk. Did the night before you left mean nothing?” I yelled.

We had both promised to never bring that night up. We had slept together, but that night was different. He told me he loved me and I said it back. Sure, we had said it before, but it was always platonically. I knew that night he had made love to me. There was no one else for me but J. But I refuse to even pursue it. He’s my childhood best friend, not my soulmate.

“Fuck you Joey, seriously.”

I rushed up the stairs and out the door to my car with tears streaming down my face. I really can’t believe what just happened. That’s so not like him. Not like us. All of this came from left field. We were bestfriends, then best friends who fucked, and now we’re nothing.

What the fuck happened?

—---

I haven’t seen Joe since last winter break. Everyone would ask what happened between us, but I refused to talk about it.

I was laying in my room since I was back for spring break when there was a light knock at my door.

“Come in.” I yelled.

“Y/N, someone is here to see you love.” She whispered.

Before I could respond she stepped to the side and I saw that last person in the world I wanted to. It was fucking Joe.

“I’m not doing this.” I said as I got up to go close my door before he could walk in.

“Y/N don’t be like this.” He said. I could tell it took a lot for him to do this. He sounded defeated before he even started.

I just stood there and stared at him, giving him a hurry up before I change my mind glare.

“I want to say sorry. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I miss you so much dude.” He whispered.

I didn’t have much to say so I just pulled him into a hug. His touch and scent were so familiar, I didn’t realize I missed him so much.

God, I had missed him so much.

We were still holding onto eachother when he began pressing kisses onto the top of my head. We coudn’t let go of eachother. We both had salty tears running down our faces.

“Joe, I’ve missed you too. Watching you all over instagram twitter has sucked but I’ve been so proud of you.” I said.

“I can’t explain how sorry I am for that night. I don’t mean any of the shit I said. You mean more to me than just sex. I’m in love with you Y/N and I can’t keep it from you anymore.” He whimpered.

I finally pulled away from him and just stared into those comforting eyes I had missed so much. We both layed down onto my bed, tangled in each other's arms.

We caught up on everything we had missed in eachothers lives. We shared spaced out kisses the entire night, falling asleep cuddling with the other.

After we were completely caught up I felt Joe’s energy shift. He pushed himself closer to me and tightened his grip on one of my hips.

“Y/N, let me show you how much I missed you. Please, I’m begging.” He whispered as he began to place soft wet kisses onto my neck and shoulder.

“Show me J.” I responded quickly.

He swiftly flipped me onto my back and put his body on top of mine all while connecting his lips to mine, refusing to let any space come between our bodies.

“I love you Y/N, I always have.” He whispered.

“I know you have Joey, I promise I love you just the same.” I responded.

—---------------

wait i cant tell if i like this or not so please send positive reinforcements in my inbox before i cry. i have been feeling very discouraged, which makes no sense because you guys support me so much.

i will continue to work on requests this week bc there are so many sorryyyyyy

i love all of you SOOOOOO much

be blessed and blessed be

send requests here!

masterlist!

all the love, kitt

[thehusbandoden]

LOV x Gn!Reader With an Eating Disorder *platonic*!

Important message: I'm not very familiar with any type of eating disorder, so I apologize if I get something wrong or even trigger, insult, or upset anyone! I promise I wouldn't be trying to, and please reach out to me if so; so I can fix my mistake! <33

*Trigger Warnings!*: eating disorders, mentions of food and ppl trying to pressure you into eating, bullying, and a mention of murder. If I miss anything, please tell me! <3

General info:

Genre: fluff/comfort \\ wc: 694 \\ friendly reminder! For personal reasons, I do not write for Toga or Twice in any way, thank you for being so understanding and patient! <33 \\ Gender neutral reader + platonic relationships.

Requested! Couldn't find the exact wording, but they wanted a lov x reader platonically, where Shigaraki is like a father figure; and them reacting to you having an ed.

Dabi was the first one to notice it.

He viewed you as his little sister, and though he denied it; he cared about you. Which is what led him to discover your eating habits- well lack of eating.

It started off small. Missing a brunch here, and turning down a snack there. Nothing to cause concern.

But when you started making excuses for almost every meal- that's when he started to get worried.

When the rest of the leauge was eating breakfast you'd simply grab an apple, telling everyone that you "had stuff to do".

Okay, no big deal.

But when you skipped lunch, and hardly touched dinner? Dabi was now keeping his eyes on you.

And then it happened four times after that.

Dabi was quite upset.

He started having you sit next to him, staring at you to pressure you to eat something. He knew that it was kind of mean, but he just wanted you to stop losing weight. You were starting to look thinner every day- which scared him.

After a while of this and realizing it wasn't working, Dabi knew what he had to do.

After making sure you were out of the hide out, Dabi brought Shigaraki in a semi private place to discuss your poor health.

Shigaraki was furious and hurt.

Furious at Dabi for not tellin ghim for two weeks, and hurt that you wouldn't care for yourself properly.

Though you two weren't very far apart, he still saw you as a daughter; and needed you to be taken care of.

After devising a plan Shigarki and Dabi started to work to increasing your self esteem.

They would subtly compliment you every day, telling you how beautiful you were, and how much they love tolerated you.

((I'd just like to say that they would indeed love you, and that you are dearly loved in the real world. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise, and if you need, or even just want to, I'm always here to chat about anything and everything (unless I say I'm uncomfortable with a certain subject, but you can always ask!) <33))

Your self esteem started to grow again, and they hoped that that was the end of the problem.

But you still weren't eating well, and that concerned them further.

Mr. Compress started to notice, and Spinner soon after.

Getting frustrated, Shigarki started having you eat with him, making sure that you ate at least a little bit.

After a while of you continuing to grow skinnier and skinnier, Shigarki lost it.

Pulling you into a comforting, warm hug he stroked your head before asking;

"Y/n/n, please tell me what's wrong with you. Gorgeous, you know you can tell me anything."

Sighing, you finally tell him how some pro heroines commented on your "weight" and how you grew self conscious. After a while of this agonizing feeling you decided to eat less and less to lose weight.

Honestly, Shigarki was angry. Really angry. Already planning on finding and murdering the scum that dared make you feel this way, Shigarki simply smiled down at you before pecking your forehead; much like a parent would.

"Y/n, my dear. You should have told me. I promise you, that you are the most beautiful person I've seen in my entire life. So please belive me when I say that you don't need to worry about loosing weight. I liked how you looked before, and though you do still look gorgeous- you look better healthy."

Tearing up, you clung to Shigarki as you sobbed, finally letting out all the pain and anger you've been holding back for the longest time.

After comforting you and making sure you ate, and got to bed, Shigarki went to tell Dabi about your conversation.

You were not prohibited from looking at the news for the next two and a half weeks.

~~~~~

Shigaraki's masterlist | Dabi's masterlist | Navigation

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Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!! <33

~~~~~

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

[naofairy]

Sakuatsu | Pillowtalk | Hurt/Comfort | Post time-skip | Established relationship | Mature

(This is my first fic in English, let's go)

A game of tongues slowly faded into lingering pecks, while both he and Kiyoomi tried to catch their breaths. His boyfriend’s hand, previously wandering over his flushed skin and leaving traces of strong grips and occasional scratches, now stopped in the middle of his chest. Soft dark curls gently tickled his neck as Kiyoomi pressed three more kisses above his clavicle. Usually, Atsumu let himself melt under the familiarity and comfort of this touch, but tonight his mind seemed to find itself somewhere else. 

“Did I hurt you?“ There was a minute change in Kiyoomi’s expression, a delicate furrow of his brow that could easily go unnoticed if you weren’t as familiar with it. Soft brown eyes briefly met with expectant onyx ones.

“Nah, ‘s not that,“ Atsumu answered quietly, averting his gaze, the certainty of his voice lost somewhere in the darkness of their bedroom.

“What is it then? You’re rarely this quiet.”

There was really no point in avoiding the conversation. He could never keep his mouth shut long enough and the only person other than his twin who could effectively persuade him into opening up about his feelings was lying here beside him with still warm sheets tangled around their legs.

“Been thinkin’ for some time now… ‘S probably a bit selfish to ask…” He curled himself into the warmth of the pale chest and released a shaky breath as if his emotions could flow right out with it. “I wanna stay here. With ya.”

Kiyoomi’s eyes searched Atsumu’s face, trying to determine the meaning behind his expression.

“What exactly do you mean by that? It’s not like I’m going anywhere anytime soon.” There was a time when Kiyoomi’s focused gaze would have felt heavy, but with years of their relationship, this sharp look, along with the present weight of his palm against Atsumu’s chest, was assuring enough.

“I know. ‘S just…” He followed the scattered moles on Kiyoomi’s chest with his fingertip. “With Shouyou goin’ back to Brazil, Kageyama movin’ to Italy, Ushijima to Poland… Shit, even Oikawa in Argentina. It’s like everyone’s leavin’ sooner or later.” 

It was almost impossible not to think about it. With how many years they’ve all spent on the court it was an expected change. They went to the Olympics, of course they were valued internationally. And while Atsumu always aimed for the sky with his dreams, he began to show more appreciation towards the permanent things in life as he got older. Like the after-training car ride home in the passenger seat, when they would listen to the latest episodes of Kiyoomi’s favourite podcasts or staying after hours at Osamu’s shop to talk shit with his brother and steal some umeboshi onigiri for his boyfriend. It granted him comfort he was scared was too easy to lose.

“I like it here in Osaka. And I love playin’ for MSBY. I love our apartment. I love havin’ ‘Samu close. Don’t get me wrong, I’m aware they’re all these great opportunities to grow, I just… Kinda feel like I wanna grow right here.” He rarely got this self-conscious with Kiyoomi. They often joked and snickered and teased, but their line of communication always remained open. However, this was different. This was about their future and he knew Kiyoomi took it seriously. He wasn’t going to hold him back from pursuing his goals. If there was a call tomorrow and Kiyoomi would want to take that spot, Atsumu would let him, no questions asked.

But here they were now, Atsumu blissed out, cuddled to Kiyoomi’s warmth and with his heart fragile and open. 

His lover’s gaze never strayed from his face.

“Okay,” Kiyoomi said and Atsumu could finally breathe again. “Then let’s stay here.”

“Wait, what?!” He sat up on the bed alarmed, the warmth of Kiyoomi’s body now replaced by the sudden increase in his own heart rate. “Yer not serious, are ya? I’m not askin’ ya to do that, though! Just sharin’ my thoughts.”

“Yes, I’m serious. I have nothing against staying here.” Kiyoomi’s expression was nothing but earnest.

“But ya don’t understand! It’s not whether ya have somethin’ against that or not. Ya have to think ‘bout yerself. Ya can’t give away yer future just ‘cause I said so.”

“I know that.” Kiyoomi sighed, slowly getting up. “But you also know how I feel about change. Do you think I’d be ecstatic to leave behind all of this for a place full of strangers in another country? I have enough social barriers as it is.” He took Atsumu’s hand in his and gave each of the knuckles a kiss. “Maybe I don’t tell you that enough but I like what we have. And it’s not as if I’m settling for less. We make a strong team. And there’s no one else I’d rather have as a setter.” 

Atsumu took a second to look deep into his boyfriend’s eyes, seeing there was no trace of uncertainty.

“Okay, loverboy.” Kiyoomi scowled at the nickname, making Atsumu chuckle. He loved how the spiker was simple in his honesty, rarely leaving space for confusion. It made something in his chest grow warmer every time they let themselves get vulnerable. “But if one day there’s a call…” He nipped at the skin of Kiyoomi’s shoulder, his voice getting muffled by the soft skin. “And ya change your mind… Then I want us to revisit this conversation.”

“I won’t change my mind. But if there’s a call, then we’ll talk and we’ll make that decision together.” Kiyoomi grabbed him by the chin so he could leave a delicate kiss on Atsumu’s cheek. “ How does that sound?”

“I’d like that, making decisions together,” Atsumu whispered, a small smile appearing on his face. He wouldn’t ever admit it, but he was thankful for the reassurement. He looked into the onyx eyes, wondering how everyone could be blind to their expressiveness when they were so deeply filled with affection. “Ya know, yer the one I wanna lead my life with.”

“Is that your way of proposing?” A teasing smirk made its way onto Kiyoomi’s face.

“Oh my God, no!” Atsumu nearly yelled, his cheeks turning maroon. “Wait… Would ya actually say yes?” He wasn’t opposed to that thought. Not at all. But he felt that the right time and place were yet to come.

“You wouldn’t let me live if I answered that question right now.” Kiyoomi’s smile grew even wider as he stood up, leaving the sheet he used to cover his body forgotten on their bed.

“God, I love ya so fuckin’ much.” Atsumu chuckled.

“Well, you’re lucky that I love you too.” Kiyoomi left a quick peck on his lips. “Can we finally go shower?”

“Sure, Omi. I’ve kept you long enough.” With a big smile on his face, he joined his boyfriend behind the bathroom door.

Happy birthday, Kiyoomi

[igotanidea]

Mind the words: Matt Murdock x reader

request: can I pretty please request heavy angsty mattyxreader with 144 stop being such a baby with happy ending.

I left the ending a bit open, but it is still happy and hopeful :)

I can’t be anyone else but me. And that means I am chaotic, messy and moody while tired or stressed. And so it happens that lately I’ve been constantly under stress. Work and life and health issues and well, the fact that my boyfriend happens to be Daredevil and gets beaten up every night. Can you blame me for having trouble with keeping it all up?

There’s also one more thing you should know about me. The more worried and broken inside I feel the more I try to cover it up with fake enthusiasm, nervous energy and panic attacks. So when my colleagues and friends see me bursting with energy running around the office doing my chores it is not a good sign, but rather a symptom of me going through shit. Everyone, literally everyone knows that. So when Foggy and Karen realized what was going on they forced me to go out to Josie’s. Matt was not there because of his night shift, so being out of his watchful eye I completely let myself go. Having drink after drink I quickly got wasted and Foggy decided it was better if he walked me home.

“Are you sure you are ok?”

“What? Yeah, yeah, Fog, don’t worry. I’ll be fine” I say  in singsong voice waving hands around and almost tripping over my own feet.

“I think you went a bit too far and ….. owww….” He turned away while I rushed to the gutter and started throwing up and coughing frantically “What is going on with you lately my friend?”

“Take a guess” I scoffed

“Hey, it’s me. You can tell me, you know.”

“it’s just stress Foggy. I’ll get some sleep and be brand new in the morning.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” I smiled weakly to the point to which my dizziness and weariness let me

“Fine” Foggy did not seem convinced ‘I’ll call you in the morning, ok?”

“Sure. Just not too early, please.  It’s Saturday after all.”

“You got it. See you tomorrow then”

“Bye Foggy” I waved him goodbye and entered the staircase dreaming only of my bed and 8-hours of rest.

“Hey, neighbor” apparently it was not given. Jake, who was living on the first floor came to sight and casually leaned on the doorframe “heavy night?”

“Heavy week” I muttered not in the mood for conversations

“I can absolutely relate to that” he obviously didn’t get the hint and I was just impatiently kicking my heels, feeling the alcohol blurring my system. “You know, you look so pretty now” he took a step forward invading my personal space, but I was too spaced-out to even react. Jake was quick to use it against me as he closed the distance to zero and started kissing me. When I realized what was happening I tried my best to push him away but he just grabbed me closed and kissed harder and harder. I was starting to lose my breath, my brain and whole body screaming at this unwanted touch and in some crazy instinct I kicked him in the groins.

“Bitch!” he yelled and if it wasn’t for my regained reflex he would have slapped me in the face “you are mental! First you walk around provoking me and then act like a nutbag!”

“You are delusional Jake, I never wanted you! I got a boyfriend you creep!”

“Poor one, he has a slut of a girlfriend!” he spat at me and this time I could not stop myself from hitting his face. Guess, that little bit of boxing lessons Matt gave me was worth the effort. Or at least I thought so, since in retaliation Jake pulled my hair painfully.

“Let. Go. Of. Me!” I yanked myself free before he could drag me into his flat and do God knows what more to me. However since he was still holding my sleeve sudden move made the material tear and I was standing in the hall with my arms and half of my chest exposed. Thankfully, one of the other neighbor got alarmed of the noises and stuck his head out distracting Jake and giving me the opportunity to run away which I gladly took running to my apartment and closing the door in relief. Only now I realized I was shaking and to make the situation better I decided to go straight to bed. Screw the shower, screw everything. I need to sleep it out.

Once again however, the fate decided to mock me.

“Holy shit, Matthew!” I screamed, hand on my heart as I spotted red-dressed silhouette on my couch “don’t do this! You’ll give me heart attack!”

“Sorry.” He muttered taking off his mask “I’ve heard you had hard week, so I though….” He came closer putting his hands around me and surprisingly, frowning.

“Are you hurt? What’s wrong?” I asked leaning into his chest trying to calm him down.

“you tell me” suddenly his voice became dark “you’re drunk and you smell of someone… else. What did you do?”

“Matt….” I pulled away looking at him carefully “what are you talking about?”

“What did you do? I know there’s another man involved. So are you going to tell me or do I have to keep figuring it out by myself?”

“Are you accusing me of cheating on you?” I crossed arms, not believing what he was saying.

“I don’t know. Did you?”

“Like you said. I had hard week.” I hissed “I went out with Karen and Foggy since unfortunately you were not there. I had couple drinks. And when I got home, Jake, my friendly neighbor tried to drag me into his flat and …. and…..” I broke all the emotions finally getting the best of me.

“Did he do anything to you?”  Matt’s voice was still dark but now some concern showed up in his tone as he put a strand of hair behind my ear. Maybe I should drop this, let it all go and just dive back into his arms, but what he said, what he believed I could do, was not something I could forgive. He was supposed to be on my side not against me.

“No. Thankfully I was able to get away. Myself. Because despite of what you say, about how you protect everyone and the whole city you are never there when I need you!” I sobbed, tears beaming from my eyes.

“That is exactly why I tried to teach you self-defense!”

“Well it’s not enough!”

“Well I can’t be around you all the time! I can’t protect everyone!”

“Well then maybe you should choose what, or rather who is more important to you!”

“Is that an ultimatum?” he spat

“And what if it is?” this question hang between us in gravy silence. Not even a fly had the audacity to move in the space. Only the buzzing of lights and some distant car honks made it all real. If it was not for that I would believe this to be a nightmare. Matt’s face was so focused and tensed that I almost saw the cogs turning inside his head. This fight clearly got to a point from where all relied on his answer and as a lawyer he definitely had a way with words. Twisting them and colorizing the reality was his daily bread, but this time it was not a case in the courtroom. This was something far more personal. We just stood in front of each other, angry, terrified, sad, hurt, none of us willing to give up, rather gathering for another round. Panting breaths, rapidly beating hearts, shaking hands, spinning minds. Where will this end?

“Then you give me no choice. There are people out there that needs protection. From what I see you are safe now.”

“Right. I’m perfectly safe spending the night getting drunk to forget  the stress my boyfriend gives me.”

“I give you stress? Have you ever considered that every time I am out there I am scared to death something might happen to you! I’m distracted because you are always on my mind!” he yelled exasperated, his whole body bristled almost like I was another rogue that has to be fought.  

“I see.” I spoke coldly “if I’m such a nuisance to you why don’t you leave? Seems like we are no good for each other after all!”

“Don’t say that” he reached for my hand once again but I jumped away knowing well enough it was just another trick of his to win me over and make me give up.

“Why? Apparently it’s true. You got hurt because I was on your mind. I got drunk because I wanted to forget about you running the street getting hurt. It’s crazy. This whole relationship was crazy from the very beginning!”

“Fuck, will you calm down!” now he was acting more like Daredevil than my Matt. Getting more and more violent and aggressive every second. “you are overemotional over nothing!”

“Nothing?!”

“Precisely.”

“So, this” I point to him and then to myself but gave up and throw my hands up in the air in aggravation “you and me. This is nothing to you.”

“That is not what I meant and you know that!”

“No, Matt, I don’t know! I don’t know anything anymore. So why don’t Mr. Oh-so-very-good-lawyer mansplain me?!” I was now completely out of control and what was even worse I didn’t want to stop.

“Calm. Down” he said once again.

“Why don’t you make me” I turned around and shot him an angry glance.

It only took him two steps to reach the side of the room where I was standing. Our chest and faces inches from each other, breaths still hot and fast, heat radiating from the bodies, emotions and adrenaline making us both high and drunk on the feelings. He slowly leaned down to the point where his gazeless eyes met mine.

“Stop acting like a baby”

I have to admit I was secretly hoping for another outcome. How did conversation that started with “I heard you got a hard week ended up here”

“Get out Matt.” I hissed turning my head away from him. That hurt.

“No. not before we clean this out between us.”

“I’m serious Matt. Get out of my flat.”

“Sweetheart” there is this tone. Trying to sweat talk me. But not this time. It won’t work.

“Please, go. We are both angry, it’s late and nothing good can come out of this. Go.” I pleaded but he did not budge.

“No.”

“Matt…..” I sighed and plumped onto the couch hiding face in hands.

“Hey, don’t” he quickly followed me grabbing my hands and putting them on his lap “Look at me. When… when we started dating…. When we become a couple I promised myself I would never go to bed without kissing you goodnight. I swore to myself that I would never allow any of us to spend the night angry at each other. Tell me, did I ever broke it?”

“I…..”

“Say it. Did I?”

“Giving it a lot of thoughts…..” I smirked

“don’t push it” he caressed my cheek waiting for response

“You did not. At least from what I’m aware of.”

“What do you mean?”

“Tell me, did you ever sneak into my apartment in your daredevil costume after a fight to kiss me goodnight while I was sleeping?”

“That would be a serious violation of many, many law provisions, wouldn’t it?” he moved a bit closer

“Spoken like a true lawyer. But, however crazy this may sound….” I bit my lower lip

“What?”

“That would also be extremely hot.”

“Do you have a kink I should know about?”

“I’m still mad at you” I reminded him

“I know. I can sense that. But I also sense that is not what you feel now.”

“Matt.” I warned him but I could not help grinning.

“Fine. No pushing. You can be mad however you want, just please, please don’t push me away. Don’t make me leave” he moved even closer so now our foreheads were touching and I closed my eyes at this proximity “please, let me stay. “

“Fine. On the couch.” I pointed towards the other room. “That is all you get.”

“Honey?”

“What now?”

“Can I kiss you goodnight?”

“Isn’t it illegal to kiss a baby?” I mocked reminding him of the words he used towards me.

“Cheek?”

“God damn you lawyers!” I muttered turning my face so he could keep the promise he made at the begging of our relationship

“Good night, sweetie” he stood up obediently “we’ll talk in the morning?”

“Only if you welcome me with coffee and a perfect breakfast. You know, babies need healthy, top quality food.”

“You won’t let it go lightly, will you?”

“Nope. Night Murdock” I throw a pillow his direction and even if he knew exactly where I was aiming he left without catching it and without saying another word. He was going to deal with very demanding and whining girlfriend the next day.   

@somest1 @pinksirensong

[eeveecryptid]

※ RESIDENT EVIL: WELCOME TO RACCOON CITY ( 2021 )

lines through the movie because - hello - i adore just how well done it was. feel free to adjust pronouns/phrasing if needed. May include nsfw material.

“s/he's here again. s/he was watching me.” “try and get back to sleep before (name) finds you in my bed.” “what are you doing out of bed, little girl/boy?” “s/he sleepwalks sometimes since our parents died.” “you're a good boy/girl for taking such care of your sister/brother/sibling.” “that must have been quite some dream.” “i almost shit my goddamn pants.” “if i knew you were gonna be screaming in your sleep, i would've left you at the side of the road.” “you know, one might have nightmares heading back into that shithole town.” “hey, why don't you just take a seat and leave the poor kid alone, huh, (name)?” “ten bucks says you can't shoot that off from here.” “twenty says i can knock the bottle without even looking.” “you snooze, you lose- it's (sender's name)'s sandwich now.” “i heard that you shot your partner in the ass during training.” “heard that your daddy, some big shot on the force, had to bail you out.” “what's the 'S' stand for? stupid?” “sooner they shut this whole town down, the better, as far as i'm concerned.” “we're nice people once you get to know us.” “s/he's only got eyes for the big fella, and I don't fancy your chances against him.” “you really shoot your own partner?” “still pining after (name), i see.” “never gonna happen, bro.” “i see you wax your chest now.” “after you ran away, (name) was the closest thing i had to family.” they raised me, put me through school, the academy-- they were there for me.” “where were you? i haven't even heard from you in five years.” “they've been trying to contain that shit, but the genie is out of the bottle now, and i don't think it's going back in.” “what kind of person can pick a lock like that?” “it's kind of impressive, but also, what the fuck?” “i'd never let anything hurt you.” “lock-pick the door behind you when you leave-- and don't touch the bike!” “what would the worst way to die be? to be swallowed whole by a snake or eaten alive by a great white shark?” “you're a freak, (name).” “i plan on dying peacefully in bed, snuggled in (name)'s big burly arms. “you said 'everyone into the briefing room,' so- here i am.” “i didn't mean you, you moron. not you, (name), everyone else. “what if someone wanders in and there's no-one behind the front desk? an old lady's looking for her cat or something.” “i'm sorry, (name), is that important? a new girlfriend?” “maybe you could take her out to eat at Planet Hollywood.” “they have a new one in Gatlin- oh, they got a great salad. little wine.” “maybe just take her back to your apartment, rent a movie at Blockbuster, get cozy on the couch, or put on some Journey.” “Steve Perry's voice, what it does to a woman's heart, huh? am i right?” “sounds like i might be getting laid.” “leaving, that's what they want. so they can destroy my life's work.” “it's okay, little girl/boy, because we've found you a new family.” “don't worry about your brother/sister, s/he'll be coming along as well, in due course.” “we would never separate the two of you.” “who are you gonna call? you're the police.” “i'm no medical expert, but i think that guy might just be beyond saving.” “congratulations, rookie, on the promotion.” “i'm sure your father would be incredibly proud that his pathetic specimen of a child is rising so quickly through the ranks.” “someone should confiscate that.” “the faster we find them, the faster we can get the fuck out of here.” “so you're (name)'s little sister/brother, huh? i didn't think the two of you spoke.” “my parents died in a car accident when i was eight.” “my brother and i grew up in an orphanage here.” “i ran away a long time ago.” “i had to learn to handle myself quickly.” “you're probably wondering what a guy like me is doing as a cop, right?” “oh yeah, no, he's fucking fine, yeah. who doesn't cough up a little blood on the floor when they're feeling sick? just a little cold.” “of course he's not fucking okay, man, look at him.” “you're no einstein, are you, buddy?” “get your shit together, or you're not gonna make it through the night.” “i just really want to get out of this town.” “i don't know who they are. i don't know, and i don't care.” “they're just some people with a vested interest in getting hold of whatever dirty secrets Umbrella are keeping down there and exposing them.” “come on, (name). don't look at me like that. it's just money, alright? and they have plenty of it.” “it was just a way of getting out of this . . . small town, dead-end life.” “you were just gonna leave us?” “we have to find (name 1) and (name 2) and tell them (name 3) is dead.” “come on, these are your friends!” “they bought you off, didn't they? they paid you to keep quiet about all the shit they were doing in here.” “now they've left you to rot in the gutter like the rest of us.” “don't be so damn naïve.” “you got some weird friends.” “(name 1) betrayed us, (name 2). s/he was gonna leave us here to die.” “we have to follow him/her, 'cause i think it's our only way out of here.” “this is my life's work. i'm not giving it to anybody.” “i'm not really offering you a choice here, pal.” “you didn't have to make it like this.” “what the hell is wrong with you?” “this is so fucked.” “jesus, (name), you and that fucking gun.” “i wouldn't have pulled the trigger, kid.” “did you really believe you could be part of my family?” “oh, such a sweet little soldier. such a loyal drone.” “how could you be so dumb when your sister/brother's so smart?” “i almost feel sad having to kill you. almost.” “i should have taken you and your sister/brother down to the lab. you would have made excellent specimens.” [ to an attacker ] “get. the fuck. away. from my brother/sister.” “this is really nice, but i think i broke some ribs.” “we got to get the fuck out of here, Umbrella is gonna level this place.” “trust me, i'm as surprised as you are, buddy.” “i should've listened to you a long time ago.” “i may have scratched the paint on your bike.” [ to a monster ] “hey! you ugly fuck!” “a rocket launcher? Found it in first class.” “i don't understand, i thought i was dead.” “what happened to my eyes? i can't see.” “it's a side effect, one of the things we had to do to bring you back. there will be others.”

[torreshalstead]

On a crowded street in 1944

Summary - The four walls of Upton’s General Store were all Hailey knew although she longed to see what else life had to offer. When a handsome soldier walks through the door, she thinks he might just be the answer to the life she wants to have. But it was 1944 and the country was at war. Would fate smile on her or would her heart be another casualty of the war?

Chapters - 2/15

Notes - hope you all enjoyed the first chapter, just a note to say there won’t be an update next week as I’m moving but chapter 3 should be up on the 27th ❤️ AO3 Link

The rest of the day passed in a daze for Hailey with any free moment being taken up with images of Jay, his smile or his beautiful green eyes. They would float through her mind and she’d lose any coherent sense of what she had been working on. As a result she had almost double charged a young boy for his bag of liquorice, she’d given Mrs Fitzpatrick the order that was meant for Mr Williams and she’d knocked over the box of dressmakers pins that was kept behind the till and had to spend the next 20 minutes on her hands and knees picking up the little blighters.

‘You can close up now Hailey,’ her father’s voice echoed from the doorway behind her. He was pulling on his smartest jacket, although the elbows still had uneven hand sewn patches on them. ‘I’m meeting Mr Jones for dinner to discuss business, hopefully get a good deal when the next shipment of cigarettes comes in. With all the boys off to war, their mothers are going to want to send them off with some and if Upton’s can supply them then all the better for our bottom line.’

‘Have a good meeting father,’ Hailey called back. Her father out for dinner meant it would just be her and her mother, a much more peaceful evening and she might be able to sneak off to bed early to read too. Her mother was usually content to spend some time by herself - she too enjoyed the peace and quiet that filled the apartment when her father wasn’t present.

She heard the back door open and close with a soft thud, it was always the entrance they used as a family, apparently it wasn’t done to walk through the shop even though everyone knew they lived above it - it was no secret.

Hailey set about tidying the counter and was just about to lock the front door when she heard the bell tinkle.

‘Sorry, we’re just closing,’ she called out before looking up and meeting Jay’s gaze with her own. ‘Jay- I mean Mr Halstead, did you forget something earlier?’ She stammered, silently kicking herself for calling him Jay out loud.

‘I just wanted to say sorry again if I got you in trouble with your father,’ Jay said, smiling softly at her as he approached the counter.

‘He was okay, I think this meeting has got him so riled up he barely acknowledged me for the rest of the day. He’s not here by the way,’ Hailey added, not quite sure why she had.

‘I know,’ Jay said bashfully. ‘Don’t think me odd but I waited for him to leave before coming in again.’

‘Oh’, Hailey was taken aback at his candour.

‘I wanted to ask if you’d allow me to take you for a walk this evening? I know we’ve just met but I leave tomorrow and-’

‘Yes’, Hailey said quickly, not allowing him the chance to finish. Her heart was beating at a gallop.

His eyes grew wide and his smile shone, ‘really?’

Hailey nodded, ‘I can tell my mother I’m going over to the bookstore to see if they’ve got anything that came in damaged.’

‘Damaged?’ Jay asked, cocking his head in intrigue.

‘Mrs Smith will sell them to me for cheap if they have a rip or get water damaged,’ Hailey said quickly, the colour rising in her cheeks. She might as well have just admitted to him that she had no money and could only buy books if they already had the corner dog eared and the spine broken right down the middle.

‘That’s nice of her,’ Jay said with a sincere smile and Hailey suddenly felt more comfortable again. There wasn’t a touch of judgement in his voice.

‘I’ll be 10 minutes? I can meet you outside once I’ve locked up?’ She said, almost giddy at the thought of spending some more time with the handsome soldier. The fact that he had said he was leaving tomorrow had barely registered.

‘I’ll be waiting patiently,’ Jay said, bowing his head so dramatically that Hailey let out a girlish giggle before locking the door behind him and scurrying up the stairs to speak to her mother, excitement coursing through her as she took the steps two at a time.

——————————————————————————-

Luckily Hailey’s mother didn’t question her too much when she said she was popping out, Hailey guessed being 17 had its benefits although she’s not sure she’d have had that easy of a time if she had asked her father.

Debating for a moment whether to take her cardigan she decided against it, it was still so warm and didn’t show any sign of letting up. A quick glance in the mirror and a pinch to her cheeks, she all but ran down the stairs and out the back door of their store. Walking around to the front, she took a second before turning the corner to take a deep breath. Come on Hailey, she said to herself.

‘Your mother was okay with it?’ Jay said with a smile when he spotted her.

‘I think she was quite pleased to get some time to herself,’ Hailey said.

‘Shall we?’ Jay gestured to the street and Hailey fell easily into step beside him. Although she was almost a foot shorter than her dark haired walking partner, he shortened his stride so they could stroll together side by side.

The street was crowded, the warm air driving the inhabitants out of their homes to enjoy the sun on their skin. Mothers were pushing babies in large strollers, children kicking cans down the street, teenagers not yet old enough to sign up to the war effort smoked on the corners. Hailey loved it when it was like this, it was like the city was alive. She normally only got a chance to experience it through the windows of the store and through the stories of her regulars - her father preferring the family spend the time indoors, cleaning and preparing the goods when they weren’t busy selling them.

The conversation with Jay was easy, his voice was smooth and soft and Hailey thought she could listen to him talk for hours. He clearly felt similar though, asking her questions about her life, her hopes and dreams. No one had ever taken so much interest in her before, it felt nice for someone to want to know the innermost workings of her mind.

‘So have you always wanted to work in the store?’ Jay asked.

‘Not at all, I wanted to go to college, get my typing tests done and become a secretary, maybe as a legal secretary for one of the local solicitors firms,’ Hailey’s gaze flicked over to Jay as she spoke and she realised his eyes hadn’t left her since she had started talking.

‘Can I ask why you didn’t? If you don’t want to answer…’ Jay tailed off, clearly worried he had over stepped but Hailey shook her head.

‘No, I don’t mind you asking. My father said he had no need of a secretary and I couldn’t afford to sign up for the classes without him,’ Hailey admitted with a small shrug. She didn’t usually like to admit to anyone that that was the reason behind why she wasn’t doing what she wanted with her life, it felt like a poor excuse, literally.

‘But if you’ve been working at the store for years, surely you had some put aside?’ Jay questioned.

‘I don’t get paid, father takes the money I would get as my keep, food and board and the like,’ Hailey said with a small shrug. She knew with the hours she worked she should have a nice pot of savings to fall back into, but she had barely two cents to rub together.

‘I’m sorry,’ Jay said, ‘I hope someday you get to take those courses if you really want to, Hailey.’

‘What about you?’ Hailey asked, trying to turn the topic away from money. Her mother always said it wasn’t a polite conversation topic for people like them. She had never really understood what she meant by people like them but she heeded her advice nevertheless.

‘Well I turned 18 last month so I went and signed up on the day, my brother is already in the forces in the Medic Corp and it was the right thing to do. I finished basic training yesterday and we ship out tomorrow so we were allowed to visit family as long as we are there at 7am on the dot,’ Jay said and Hailey could hear both the pride in his voice that he was going to fight for his country but also the undercurrent of fear, the nerves at what the war would hold for him.

‘Your family is here?’ Hailey asked, silently wondering why, if he had family in the city, he wasn’t spending his last few hours with them rather than her, a stranger.

‘Will, my brother, is the only family I’ve got left and he’s in Europe somewhere, he writes when he can but, it’s just me now,’ Jay said sadly.

‘Oh,’ Hailey was shocked by his honesty. It was a rarity these days, people seemed to prefer to sugarcoat things rather than say what they truly meant. Hearing Jay speak so openly was a refreshing change.

‘My mother died having me. Will tells me stories about her although I’m not sure what is true and what he is making up. I don’t mind though, it’s nice to hear about her, even if some of it’s fiction,’ Jay paused on the side of the street, just a block from the end of Main Street and fishing out his wallet, pulled out a worn picture, the corners fraying and the colours starting to fade.

‘She’s beautiful, Jay. I’m sure she’d be proud of you,’ Hailey said, gazing down at the woman sitting for her formal portrait in the black and white image. Her dark hair was pulled off her face into an intricate design on top of her head, she was wearing a pale coloured dress, Hailey imagined it in a pastel pink, and her smile was identical to that of the man who was holding the photograph.

‘My father drank himself to death after that, so it was just Will and I. As soon as he could, he signed up. Said he didn’t want to wait until they called him up, wanted to go on his own terms. I never understood it then, but I do now,’ Jay spoke with such clarity for someone who had only just turned 18. Hailey wondered how difficult that time had been when it was just him and his brother, they were just children and had been left all alone.

‘But you came back here anyway?’ Hailey questioned.

‘It’s the only home I’ve ever known I guess,’ Jay said and then added with a smile, ‘and spending time with you has certainly made it worth it.’ Hailey blushed at his words, he was more forward than anyone she had ever met and she didn’t know how to respond. Jay clearly sensed her lack of words and filled the silence. ‘So you like to read?’

Hailey giggled softly, ‘I do like to read. It’s my favourite thing to do. Father says it’s not ladylike but he doesn’t know I have a pile of books in the bottom of my closet hidden under the floorboards.’ She chuckled again. ‘Like I said earlier, Mrs Smith will put them aside if she can’t sell them and then she’ll give them to me for a penny or so.’

‘I like to read too, perfect way to escape,’ Jay agreed with her as they fell back into step and made their way into the park by the waterfront. The crowds they had encountered outside the store were less here, it was calmer, more peaceful.

‘That’s exactly it, I can float away and be somewhere else when I’m reading those words on the page,’ Hailey said excitedly. No one else in her life understood the pleasure that reading brought, but in Jay she seemed to have found a kindred spirit. ‘Sometimes I wish I could write like some of those authors, like the Bronte sisters or Jane Austen…’ Hailey drifted off letting her mind wander.

‘You could practise by writing to me?’ Jay said after a moment of silence.

Hailey stopped walking and turned to look at him, ‘you want me to write to you?’ She asked, her voice suddenly softer than it had been previously.

‘Well I’d like to write to you if you agree, and it would be grand if you could write back,’ Jay said, his cheeky smile appearing back on his face again. But when she took a second to respond, she saw it falter. ‘Of course, if you don’t want me to-’

‘No, no,’ Hailey shook her head quickly. ‘I’d love to write to you,’ she smiled warmly at him.

‘That’s settled then,’ he nodded and she chuckled. ‘There’s a bench over there, shall we sit? Unless you need to get back.’

‘Sitting sounds delightful,’ Hailey smiled, the blush threatening to make a reappearance as they made their way towards the empty bench and took a seat, the city air feeling slightly warmer than it had done a moment ago.

[shadowsobscurity]

Kaz's Poison

Summary: a confession slips from Kaz while he talks with an old friend, Belladona.

Pairing: Kaz brekker x reader

Warnings: Fluff

Request: no

Belladonna, queen of deception, goddess of mischief, walked around the dark streets of Ketterdam. People closed the windows and locked the doors as she strutted elegantly. She smiled,content by the idea of scaring decent people,or as she liked to call them, the prudish.

Kaz Brekker had called her, which wasn't an unusual occurrence because apart from the wraith, dirtyhands only trusted his lovely poison. Saying Kaz and her were in love would be an exaggeration, they were work colleagues that shared a bond based in spite and grudge.

She arrived at the barrel, the town of bastards. It didn't feel like home, but she didn't deserve one.

As she walked inside the crow club, she could smell the stink of alcohol and stupid men throwing their money down the drain. Jesper waved and approached her.

- Belladona,what a pleasure seeing you -

With a smile she answered

-its good seeing you again Jes. How is everything going?-

-Everyone is recovering from the heist,we are almost fine.-

-Im glad to hear that. Where is Kaz?-

Jesper looked surprised

-Kaz? Why?-

-He sent me an invite- she lifted her hand, confused - hasn't he told you?-

-No,and I'm confused because he hasn't left his room since inej left-

-okey, I will talk to him and see what is happening-

Without waiting for an answer she went upstairs and knocked on the door, with the letter in her hand.

-im not taking visits,you can leave-

-Kaz, it's me, Belladonna. Allow me to enter please -

- Bell, you can pass -

She opened the door and a half dead Kaz greeted her. His eyes were drained in blood and he was extremely pale. There was sweat running down his back and his face was stained with tears. She immediately dropped her evil facade,as he had already dropped his.

She rushed near him and sat next to the bed, waiting for him to talk.

-The nightmares don't let me sleep -

He didn't bother explaining the nightmares,as she was one of the only people who knew about his past

-He is constantly there, waiting for me to fall just so he can push me deeper into the tides-

-Kaz, I know that it's difficult for you, but you need to understand that Jordie loved you and wouldn't like you to blame yourself for something you didn't do-

- I hate the feeling of losing my life to a fear I can't control. I've lost a ton of opportunities I now regret.-

-What do you mean? Are you talking about your touch aversion?-

-Yes. I am in love with money and vengeance, the idea of making Rollins pay for everything he did makes me want to wake up in the morning, but I also love other people and I'm not able to show them-

Something inside her broke. She hated being selfish in a situation like this, but she loved him. Thinking of Kaz with another woman made her stomach hurt.

She smiled a little, trying to hide the pain in her soul.

-You should try talking to them, maybe they understand-

- I am doing it, but she isn't helping a lot-

She stopped thinking, her eyes widening at the confession.

-You love me?-

-Yes. I don't expect you to love me back, I know that loving me is difficult and maybe you don't want to.-

The pain in his voice made her heart swell. He seemed so vulnerable,a sight that wasn't normal on Kaz Brekker. But maybe that was the reason, she wasn't talking to the bastard of the barrel, she was talking to the boy he was before.

Seeing her silence he added quickly

-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. If you want to leave and act like this never happened, do it now -

-No! I love you too Kaz, and I don't care if I have to wait a thousand years to touch you, I will wait patiently for you to be ready -

Kaz's eyes were full of tears. said nothing, but we tapped the bed. You sat next to him as he said:

-I will bring another bed so we can sleep together without touching -

- I'm dying for it to happen -

[lilmissnatcat24]

MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR turn left spoilers but i just wrote this and am frothing at the mouth, shitting my pants

sorry for the incoming whump (actually i'm not. they don't call me nefarious nat for nothing)

“Well…” Garrus cleared his throat, pointedly looking anywhere but at her. “We, er… we have a good thing going. Don’t we?” 

“We do?” Shepard asked. Of course they did. She knew it, he knew it, everyone else knew it. She wanted to hear him say it again, until it didn’t make her heart beat uncontrollably in her chest at his words. 

“I didn’t want to ruin it. And I thought if I kept that part of me from you, then we would just carry on. And we did do that, didn’t we? It was nice. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted a friend like you in my life, Del. But the longer it all went, the more precarious it made the whole thing. I wish I had a better answer for you, one that isn’t so lame.” 

“Friends?” Shepard whispered, ignoring everything else he said to her. “That’s it?” 

Garrus seemed suddenly very interested in a thread that was hanging from his forearm. His face was blushed blue. Shepard desperately wanted to run. She wanted to insist that he forgot about everything they said and every moment where they almost touched-- where they almost let down the masks-- and just let everything go back to normal. Because that was the easy course of action, wasn’t it? Because sitting here was hell, waiting for him to say something.

Then his eyes were on her. She wanted to look away, she wanted to let the heat of her face dictate her actions. She couldn’t look away from him either. There was no fucking air in his entire apartment, her chest was spasming like she was about to have a heart attack, her teeth were chattering uncontrolably in her head. Why had she never seen it before? Of course, she felt it, but she was remarkably good at chalking up a physical reaction to meaning nothing of substance. Garrus was not nothing. He was something, he was the only thing she thought about-- which was really fucking saying something, as she was currently being hunted by a Spectre, a matriarch, and an army of geth to boot. 

A hand reached out. The same hand that brushed that piece of hair out of her face was back, brushing the same little strand of hair behind her ear. Except this time she was expecting it. She leaned into his graze on her cheek, letting his hand cup her face. She could get drunk off of his touch. She wanted him-- and not just in a way that she vaguely wanted anyone that paid the tiniest bit of attention to her. She wanted everything about him. She wanted his bed in the morning, his touch in the afternoon, his gaze in the evening. She wanted to be his, and for him to be unequivocally hers. She wanted to hold his hand when they walked side by side through the streets, she wanted to sip her coffee in the morning from his mugs and his kettle that heated his water. She wanted to wear his tops until they didn’t smell like just him or just her, but some vague combination of the two that made it impossible to tell who really owned it in the first place. She wanted to lose count how many kisses they shared, how many nights they fell asleep next to each other, how many times she really let down all of those walls so that he could see everything she was hiding from the galaxy. 

Fuck. She loved him. Fuck. 

And in doing so, she pulled away from his touch. She let his hand, and his face, fall as she stood up from his couch. He looked at her, and for once she could read his face perfectly well. She just chose not to. Because if she gave in now, if she let her body do what it was so desperate to do exactly, where would that leave her? Saren, Benezia, all of her enemies would see that he was her weakness, and would stop at nothing to exploit it. She couldn’t risk it. She wouldn’t allow it. 

Because if something ever happened to Garrus Vakarian, she didn’t know if she would make it on the other side. Shepard didn’t know many things. She didn’t pretend to be particularly smart or a well-educated person. But there was one thing she was so certain about she would bet just about the entire galaxy on: a life without him was not one worth living. 

[railingsofsorrow]

Broken Promises

[peter parker x reader]

summary: doctor strange casts the spell that will make everyone forget who spiderman is and peter parker loses his footing in life. how could he do anything without the people he loved by his side? how could peter find strength now that you weren’t there? more importantly, can he keep his promise to make you remember him again?

pairing: p.p x fem!reader

w.c: 1.6K

warnings/content: no way home ending (is a trigger as it is, isn’t it?); heartbreak; pain; hurt no comfort; do I need to say more? read at your own risk; canon divergence. 

A/N: I'm back at my spiderboy phase. first of all, this takes months after the memory wipe spell, which means that it's a slightly different no way home timeline.

[loosely inspired by all too well]

[1] [1.2] [2] [3] [4]

❝[...] And I know it's long

gone

And there was nothing

else I could do

And I forget about you

long enough

To forget why I needed to [...]❞

➶ ➷

Peter Parker never thought he would lose you.  

He knew breaking-up was a possibility. But this didn't mean he would lose you truly. You two had a connection that nobody or anything could break apart. Being friends first, then evolving to best friends, helped in building that bridge.  

He just didn't count for the memory wipe spell that would force everyone that ever knew him to forget about him.  

You would forget about him. All the things you did together; all the 3 a.m talks, the patching up his bruises, the looks of understanding across the room, the touches. It would all be erased. It would all be gone.

Because of a mistake he made and now he had to deal with it. For the greater good.  

Sometimes, Peter thinks fuck the greater good.  

When your father told him that you and he would never work out, for example. 

Or when Doctor Strange wanted to send back those people from other universes that needed help, to their eventual doom.  

Or when you confessed to him and he eventually built the courage to be with you without being scared of making you a target because of his alter ego. He was still apprehensive, but he could protect you. He could. 

It was all worth it. He met some great people—his brothers, the other Peters from different universes—ones he would never forget. He hoped they didn't forget him either, wherever they were now. Peter gave second chances because they are possible. And he loved. He loved so much that his heart could burst with the feeling.  

Peter learned that there was no happiness like loving you.  

He vowed to not take it for granted. He promised to not put you in harm's way — even if you did jump on the opportunity of it at any given moment.  

Still, he feels like he failed at everything.  

Or. . . not quite.  

Seeing your smile through the glass window of the donut shop was an indicator of that.  He was almost entering the place where you and your friends had spent hours studying or talking at a table as you waited for MJ to finish her shift.

The snow caused shivers to go down his body — it was cold. Winter arrived so quickly Peter didn’t even realize it. Snowflakes were melting as they fell in his coat.  

Peter didn’t move to enter the shop. Not after he saw you for the first time in months. You love the winter. He thought, watching the differences in you. Your hair was longer, touching below your shoulder. A new piercing in your left eyebrow was another detail that wasn’t there. He noticed the cut right above your brow as well.

When he saw the cut in your eyebrow, his breath got stuck in his throat. “You got hurt,” He whispered, “I'm sorry.” He looked at you with eyes full of tears. Then, a sob came. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”

Your hands reached to wipe his tears with a shake of your head, “No. It's barely a scratch, Peter. It wasn't your fault. You're beaten up and you worry about my ordinary cut?” You attempted to make a joke out of the situation. 

He could see it had not been a barely scratch; it became a scar. A thin line above your eyebrow, almost unnoticeable if someone wasn't looking for it specifically. 

He gave you that. 

The dark red fabric you were wearing around your neck made him stop in his tracks and he ended up bumping into someone that was leaving the shop. 

It was with shaky hands around the scrunched piece of paper of rehearsed lines that he felt his heart pinch. 

There you were. Laughing at something a curly-haired boy sitting at your side said, throwing your head back. You were happy. There was joy in your features. No ounce of worry, no lines of fear. Nothing like when you were with him. 

But you still had it. The scarf. An item of his you had insisted that it looked better on you. You weren’t wrong, it had always looked better on you. On every cold day, he’d carry it with him just so he could wrap it loosely around your neck, the way he knew you liked it. You’d give him a smile and intertwine your fingers.  

That did not mean anything, did it? The piece of clothing could mean something entirely distinct to you now. There was no ‘us’ anymore. Peter concluded.

He wondered if you were different from when he knew you. It had only been a few months but he could see change. 

You're okay. His brain said. 

At the same time, his heart screamed. 

You don't miss me.  

You don't need me anymore. 

Oh

Oh, this feeling was worse than any stab in the abdomen he had ever suffered.  

Peter Parker never thought he would lose you. Not like this. Not by you losing all recollection of everything you both have been through. Not by you forgetting that you loved him. That he loved you.  

Loves. 

He loves you, of course, he does. It won't change overnight.  

It won't ever change, he ponders. 

He let out the air he was holding when MJ approached your table and stood in front of you, blocking his sight. His heart clenched when Ned Leeds appeared a few feet away from the entrance, typing away on his phone.  

“You're my best friend, Peter. If you're in trouble then I will help. No matter what you say.”  Ned's voice echoed in his mind. 

MJ heard the bell announcing a new client and walked behind the counter to ask for his order. Peter swallowed hard when your eyes met his and the paper he was holding eventually ripped in two. He glanced down at it, pretending to be surprised when he actually wanted to prevent the tears from rolling down his cheeks.  

Fuck the universe. You destroyed me. I won't destroy them.  

“Sir, are you okay?” MJ's voice took him out of his thoughts.  

Peter looked up, blinking fast and forced out a smile. He could still feel your eyes on him. A tinge of hope igniting against his will. She doesn't remember. It’s better this way. 

“I am- uh, my name is Peter Parker and I. . .” His eyes drifted over to your table again, you were looking at something your friend was showing you on his phone. The friend, however, was staring at him. He looked back at MJ before he could decide whether it was a glare or not. “. . . I would like a coffee.” 

Her brows furrowed but she nodded, telling him she would be right back with his order.  

He sat by the window, with his back to you this time. The feeling of eyes burning on his back did not make him turn around. 

He realized then that he couldn't do that to you. He couldn't take off the smile on your face. That spark in your eyes.  

Peter would have to accept that you were better off without him. All of you were. You were safer and that was what mattered to him.  

“Peter.” You said, the space between the two of you disappearing in your attempt of clinging to him in desperation. “Peter, I don't want you to go.”  

“I'm not going anywhere,” He told you, hands wrapping around your back and squeezing you a bit. You started to sob. Peter felt his heart break.  

You buried your nose in his neck as if you were scared you would never be able to do that again.  

“Please, Peter. I don't want to forget you. I don't want to be without you. There has to be another way.” 

“You won't.” There was certainly in his tone. He would make you remember, no matter what it took. “I'll make you remember me. Hey,” He leaned away to cup your cheeks, smiling sadly with the waterfall in your eyes. “I'll make you remember me, okay? I promise.” 

You sniffled, clutching his hand that was touching your cheek. “You promise?” 

“I promise.” He whispered, kissing your forehead. “I promise I will make you remember me.” 

You nodded, albeit the weight in your chest was still heavy, it was bearable now that he made the promise. Not in all of the years you met peter parker had he broken a promise with you.  

And it wouldn't happen now. 

“I love you,” You repeated at least five times while kissing him. Tears making the kiss salty. He didn't care.  

“I love you.” He said, resting his forehead on yours as your eyes fluttered shut. It was a moment of peace. A minute without chaos. A few seconds of pretending you weren't saying goodbye.

“I promise.” He repeated it gently before leaving your embrace. 

Peter took a last look in your direction before he left the shop with the coffee in hand.  

I'm sorry I broke the promise.  

Your connection would remain. Even if the only one who knew of it and felt it now, was him.  

What Peter didn't see was that you were watching him go with a curious glint in your eyes.

A/N: i suffered a bit ngl.

[krankittoeleven]

WIP Wordsearch Game

I was tagged by @softest-punk, thank you very much for the tag!

my words from SP are: taste, nose, right, book, and tea

"Taste" - from the Eivor/Ubba/Vili fic that I will finish eventually XD (Untitled) blood warning for this one

"Vili, we must continue with our plan," Eivor gently places his hand against Vili's chest, his armor still wet and sticky and warm with blood. The smell is still so strong he can almost taste it in his mouth. It is only a small consolation that none of the blood is Vili's, "or all of this will be in vain."

Vili takes a step back, but the blood remains on Eivor's hand all the same. He had thought that because it was the truth it was the right thing to say, but maybe he had been wrong. Maybe not all truths were worth saying.

"Don't wield my friend against me like a weapon, Eivor."

Vili sounds hurt more than he sounds angry, a sharp reminder of the years they had spent apart and the gaps that still needed filling.

"Nose" - Vili/Ubba (Water of Life)

“Bjorn used to call me runt,” Ubba says as their horses move unhurried along the road back to Hemthorpe. There is a very obvious mix of emotions in Ubba’s voice, his tone affectionate, but also irritated.

“Gods, how big was he to call you that?” Vili asks.

He’d never met Bjorn and the fates had seen to it that he never would. According to Ubba he’d died not long after they had arrived in England, but he is picturing a giant now, who else would call Ubba a runt?

“He was about your father’s size,” Ubba replies, still staring at the road ahead of them, but Vili can see the smirk creeping up on his face and crinkling his nose.

“Oh,” Vili says and then he is overtaken with laughter.

"Right" - Eivor/Vili Cowboy AU (The Ballad of Lonesome Gods)

"Is everyone alright?" Soma asks.

"Yeah," Eivor replies.

"Yes," says Randvi.

"Yup," Ivarr cackles.

"NO!" Vili shouts from the ground, the chains of his shackles clanking as he moves.

"Wait, who is that?" Soma asks as she moves to help Randvi tie up the Sheriff.

"Don't worry about him right n—"

"Hey, come on Eiv-—"

"Vili, just shut up for a minute, please."

Vili huffs but remains silent.

"Book" - from my Lovecraftian existential horror AU (Between the Real and the Unknown)

I dream of little books, their pages ripped from their bindings and scattered on the floor.  I dream of a key so tiny it gets lost in the palm of my hand.  I dream of gathering up the pages, crumbling them in my clenched fists, afraid I will lose the most important page of them all.  And I cry; because I should know what all of it means, but I cannot remember.

"Tea" - Alas, I am but a filthy American and I threw all of my tea into the Harbor. J/K I like tea but it is nowhere to be found in my WIPS at the moment.

I will tag @castielsangel-x, @akashadarkblade, @ainulindaelynn, @brasideios (if you want to when you are feeling better) @myriath, @vault-heck, @theinkandthesea , @erzsebetrosztoczy, @troublemakingrebel and anyone else that wants to!

Your words to find are: help, eye, sit, hair and touch.

[flowerish-cherry-blue]

book review: five feet apart by rachael lippincott | 2018

summary:

can you love someone you can never touch?

stella grant likes to be in control—even though her totally out of control lungs have sent her in and out of the hospital most of her life. at this point, what stella needs to control most is keeping herself away from anyone or anything that might pass along an infection and jeopardize the possibility of a lung transplant. six feet apart. no exceptions.

the only thing will newman wants to be in control of is getting out of this hospital. he couldn’t care less about his treatments, or a fancy new clinical drug trial. soon, he’ll turn eighteen and then he’ll be able to unplug all these machines and actually go see the world, not just its hospitals.

will’s exactly what stella needs to stay away from. if he so much as breathes on stella she could lose her spot on the transplant list. either one of them could die. the only way to stay alive is to stay apart. but suddenly six feet doesn’t feel like safety. it feels like punishment.

what if they could steal back just a little bit of the space their broken lungs have stolen from them? would five feet apart really be so dangerous if it stops their hearts from breaking too?

my opinion:

to begin with, i have a history of getting to know this book. of course, i heard about its existence only after watching the movie. but my hands came to her almost 5 years later, and how many times i stopped by its shelf in stores… it's hard to count.

so here it is! as for the book itself, i was satisfied, i will immediately note a kind of happy ending, which i lacked in the movie and the emotions that i felt myself.

although i won't gloss over the mediocrity of the plot, in terms of the exhaustion of such a theme, the love between ill people, i saw such a thing and later i will tell you. at the same time, none of the characters did not cause me irritation, i empathized with all of them and honestly, with pleasure, watched the development of the book from both sides of will and stella.

the language is lame in places from time to time, and i'm not sure if this was the author's first work, but practice makes perfect, ya know?

now, let's have a look at the next few points:

• as i mentioned above, the book reminds me of something and that is the fault in our stars by john green, and no, i'm not trying to compare them, but these books have a similar underlying theme of doomed love. that why i think i liked five feet apart more, again due to the fact that the beloved characters are alive by the end.

• the book made me cry and that's fine, i understood very well the situation described in the book because i have experienced somethimg like in my live and those feelings and things still terrefy me.

• i think the author went a little overboard when she made stella such a control freak, yes i understand what it was about, but still. control yourself, but not everyone around you, sweetheart.

• i also want to say a word about the parents in this book, i mean we are shown two models of family and they are not the happiest - a single mom and a divorced couple that broke up because of tragedy. honestly, i am very happy with the attitude of the parents towards their children, even though they were the very templates of their types.

• poe's death shocked me, it was not so easy to bear, as stella herself thought that death just follows her around and takes away her beloved ones. in some ways it was comparable to augustus' death in the fault in our stars.

• as i noted earlier, in some places the writing was a bit tempestuous in terms of descriptions, but i haven't encountered this very often and i'm glad i didn't.

so, i want to say that I really enjoyed this book, i think that all the time i waited to read it was worth it. and it brought me some relief because i cried and was able to let my emotions out

my rating:

4/5

«If i’m going to die, i'd like to actually live first.»

«don’t think about what you’ve lost. think of how much you have to gain. live, stella.»

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 2 - Episode 1 to 3: Quotes

“- Escaping to your dreams is easier than living with your memories. It’s the being awake that’s the hard part.” (Belly - Episode 1)

“- You had Jeremiah, and it just wasn’t enough. You had to have Conrad, too. God, you are so fucking selfish.” (Steven - Episode 1)

“- No, no, no, no. Nothing is promised. You can’t promise anything. Sorry.” (Belly - Episode 1)

“- I’m sorry. I just, I know you’re trying your best. I don’t, I don’t expect anyone to understand what I’m going through right now, and I think I just have to deal with it alone.” (Belly - Episode 1)

“- Sorry, Mom. You know, Susannah died, remember? (Belly) - You don’t get to use Susannah’s death as an excuse. This whole year’s been hard for me, too. This isn’t about blame. This is about you and the choices you made. It’s about taking responsibility for yourself, even when things are hard. Life keeps going. You can’t just give up. (Laurel) - You want to talk about taking responsibility? You won’t even promote your book because you refuse to talk about Susannah. You gave up way before I did.” (Belly - Episode 1)

“- I knew I’d lose Susannah eventually. I just didn’t know I’d end up losing all of them. In my memory, the three of them will always be entwined, forever linked. There can’t be one without the others.” (Belly - Episode 1)

“- Jeremiah wants me to come because he’s afraid. I still know this boy better than I know almost anyone. So I’ll go for him.” (Belly - Episode 2)

“- Do you think we’ll be in when they find fout out we’re gone? (Conrad) - Oh, I’m not getting into any trouble. I’m telling everyone you kidnapped me.” (Belly - Episode 2)

“- What the hell happened with you guys? (Jeremiah) - He never said anything? (Belly)  - We don’t talk about you.” (Jeremiah - Episode 2)

“- Okay, not to be, like, a dick or anything, but you seem less devastated than I expected. I mean, considering you were practically swallowing his tongue last night. (Steven) - Leave it to you to make kissing sound disgusting. (Taylor) - Anyways, you could do better.” (Steven - Episode 2)

“- Belly, you were my best friend. We hooked up, and then you hooked up with my brother. And then everyone expected me to act like I was fine, and I wasn’t! (Jeremiah) - Okay, well the last thing that we wanted, that... I wanted, was to hurt you. And that’s why Conrad and I didn’t get together at the end of the summer. (Belly) - Yeah, Belly, for what? All of five minutes? That was just so you guys wouldn’t look bad. (Jeremiah) - I mean, you were seeing other people. We thought you were over it. (Belly) - Because otherwise, I was that pathetic loser that was keeping you guys apart. Sorry for what? For Conrad dumping you? Did you really not see that coming, Belly? Because I sure did. (Jeremiah) - I’m sorry because I miss you. I’ve missed you for months. That’s why I called you last night. (Belly) - Yeah, because Conrad wasn’t picking up. (Jeremiah) - Jere, you are the one I called, not him. Look, when Susannah was sick, I was so focused on Conrad and one being there for him, and I should have been there for you, too, okay? And I forgot about you. And I hate myself for that. I... Jere... I hate that I let you down. (Belly) - It happened so fast. Belly, it was really, really bad. I had Dad and Conrad sort of, but I needed you, and you just weren’t there. You left me. (Jeremiah) - I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.” (Belly - Episode 2)

“- But it’s not good enough for an event in New York with a bunch of other famous writers. (Saleswoman) - I’m about as unfamous as a writer can be. (Laurel) - You can’t be unfamous if I’ve heard of you.” (Saleswoman - Episode 2)

“- Wait, wait, wait. But they’re not even talking. Why-why would Jere call her and not me? (Steven) - I don’t know. Maybe ‘cause you’re such a pain in the ass all the time. (Taylor) - Okay, I’ll let her try and clean up her mess.” (Steven - Episode 2)

“- I don’t want anybody else touching you like I do.” (Song - Episode 2)

“- Yeah. You always could read my mind. (Belly) - I’m glad it’s back anyway, our ESP. (Jeremiah) - Oh. I know that you’re not eating any pie because... mm, you’re worried about ruining your abs. (Belly) - I mean, they are a service to mankind. (Jeremiah). - Nicole! (Belly) - Gigi’s dad got caught in some insider trading thing and they had to sell their house. And Shayla’s in Europe with her parents all summer. And so the gang’s broken up. But I guess that was bound to happen at some point. You still have my number? (Nicole) - We both know I won’t call. I doesn’t feel the same as last summer.” (Belly - Episode 2)

“- Why does he still have this pull on me? I don’t want to see him. And I can’t wait for it all at the same time.” (Belly - Episode 2)

“- Ooh. That feels good. (Conrad) - Yeah, that’s ‘cause you’re cold-hearted. (Belly) - For everyone else, maybe. Not for you. (Conrad) - I want it to be with you.” (Belly - Episode 2) 

“- We went to Brown to check on you ass. You know what? I didn’t think you’d pull this shit again. But you don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself.” (Jeremiah - Episode 2)

“- There is nothing more beautiful than this. This particular sunset. It can match the beauty of anything in this world ten times over. No matter what’s happened, you can feel the tension of the day drifting away and out to sea. I want to memorize it all, because... you never know the last time you’ll see a place, a person.” (Belly - Episode 3)

“- You’d think someone would have invented an easier system by now. (Belly) - If I wasn’t so fucking tired, I’d probably leave tonight. My mom would always fix everything up before we got here. (Jeremiah) - Yeah. The house feels different without her in it.” (Belly - Episode 3)

“- The truth is, the hardest part about being here isn’t Conrad. Back home, I can almost believe Susannah isn’t really gone. But here at the beach house, she’s everywhere and nowhere.” (Belly - Episode 3)

“- You know, he keeps saying he’s going to figure things out. He hasn’t figured out shit.” (Jeremiah - Episode 3)

“- Uh, Conrad may have listened to me at one point, but I don’t think he cares what I think anymore.” (Belly - Episode 3)

“- I know this is hard with everything going on. (Conrad) - Please don’t shut me out. (Belly) - I feel like I just keep disappointing you. Belly, don’t leave it like this. (Conrad) - You... you are the one that made it like this.” (Belly - Episode 3)

“- You know, Conrad just pushes people away when he needs them most. (Belly) - There’s only so many times I can take being pushed. It’s fucking exhausting.” (Jeremiah)

“- I mean, then, you know, why would you want to let go of such a-a magical place?” (Jeremiah)

“- What? Is Mr. I Don’t Believe in College having an existential crisis? God, does he even know what “existential” means? I bet you he thinks “SAT” stands for “stupid-ass test.” (Steven) - Can I tell you something? Not everyone measures people’s worth by what Ivy they go to.” (Taylor - Episode 3)

“- I know you worked really hard for it. It just... sometimes it feels like you think that you’re better and smarter than everyone. Uh, including me. Can you tell me what has you all in your feelings so that it can stop being weird? (Taylor) - Does Belly really think I don’t care about Susannah’s death? Am I an asshole? (Steven) - Probably, but that’s not why. Steven, everyone processes things differently, you know? I mean, my therapist says that happiness and grief can coexist. And that’s completely fine. (...) So we just drove all day to show up somewhere uninvited? (Taylor) - Look, I wanted to be there for them, all right? So I invited myself. I’m sorry. (Steven) - Also, gate crashing 101 says we can’t show up empty-handed, so keep an eye out for somewhere to stop. (Taylor) - Just don’t change my seat setting.” (Steven - Episode 3)

“- I should have known it was bad news. Bad news is the only kind that really can’t wait.” (Belly - Episode 3)

“- She was helping me. (Conrad) - So you’ll accept her help but not mine? Got it. Glad to know where I fall in the ranking of ex-girlfriends. (Belly) - Grow up. (Conrad) - Go to hell. (Belly) - I should have known you’d be like this. (Conrad) - What do you mean? (Belly) - Forget it. (Conrad) - No, say it. Tell me. (Belly) - I knew it was a bad idea, starting something with you. (Conrad) - I don’t believe you. (Belly) - It was a huge mistake. (Conrad) - I hate you. (Belly) - Good (Conrad) - I never want to see you again.” (Belly - Episode 3)

“- I’ll never let myself be affected by him like that again. I can’t. If I did, it would destroy me.” (Belly  - Episode 3)

“- Guys, I had my lawyers look into any possible loopholes right after the funeral, but there’s none. Okay? The house is legally Julia’s. And believe it or not, I’m just as upset as you are about it.” (Jeremiah and Conrad’s dad - Episode 3) --> Btw this is not accurate and legally wrong!

“- You know, I just feel everyone’s slipping away, and-and the house is the last thing tying us together. (Jeremiah) - We’re not giving up. We’re gonna figure something else out. I feel like us all hanging around the open house tomorrow and being pains in the asses is a pretty good place to start. I’m sure Aunt Julia would love that. Let’s fuck some shit up.” (Conrad - Episode 3)

“- Maybe Julia was right. Susannah did believe Cousins was a fantasy world. But she made me believe, too. So maybe I can make sure it stays that way.” (Belly - Episode 3)