#wow that was some weak ass shit

[vvelegrin]

my tactically brain damaged precious baby boy venom snake who gently shoots many men in the face to sleep with rubber bullets and then tactically dive rolls from a slightly too high ledge and immediately dislocates his knee which everyone immediately hears about and thinks less of him for and also he has gone a little colorblind about it

[papercorgiworld]

No date for the bully

Enzo Berkshire and Mattheo Riddle

The Slytherin gang mock you after class, but when you run into one of them alone a few days later they aren’t mocking you anymore… rather they are flirting with you.

Thanks for the request and to all those reading: thanks for reading. Happy readings! and lots of love to you all! 💛

Warning: bullying

“This is a question first years can answer, miss (y/l/n).” Snape snares, looking not only angry and annoyed but also seriously disappointed. Your mouth opens, but closes again. Telling him that you probably knew the answer, but were in fact daydreaming and missed the question was probably not a good comeback in Snape’s book. Aside from the fact that you felt the whole class stare at you, there was a particular group of Slyterins really enjoying your screw up. You could hear them snickering, but chose to ignore them. 

However as soon as class ends the lot becomes unavoidable. “And here I thought Weasley was the dumbest in our year. Turns out I was wrong… It’s you.” Theodore Nott laughs as he passes you. You roll your eyes and quietly gather your books. “You have to actually read those to learn. You do know that, right?” Mattheo Riddle raises his eyebrows and you look away, trying to pass Mattheo. “She can’t read!” Draco snorts, finding himself really funny. But you huff and just try to get past Mattheo. “And apparently she can’t speak either.” Mattheo grins down at you, purposely blocking your way out. “Guys leave her alone.” Enzo intervenes and you’re both surprised and relieved, but it doesn’t last long. “She’s obviously a bit slow.” Enzo quips. 

“You’re all hilarious.” You manage to mutter as you use all your force to shove Mattheo aside. “What a comeback.” You hear Enzo laugh at your attempt at self defence. 

***

“Move aside, dumb and dumber!” Draco snares at Ron and you, followed by a smirking Theodore as you jump. 

“Ugh, why are they all like that?” You think out loud and Ron shrugs. “Because they’re evil Slytherins.” You chuckle at Ron’s answer, before parting at the stairs. “See you after potions.” You wave at Ron and walk around the corner, straight into…

Enzo. 

“I’m so sorry.” You apologise immediately, but when you look up to see who you collide with your eyes widen. Sure he would hex you or at least insult you. 

“No worries, I wasn’t watching where I was going either. You alright, princess?” No worries? Princess? “Yeah, I’m fine.” You whisper, not at all comfortable with this nice version of Lorenzo Berkshire. You move to walk past him, but he grabs your arm. “Let me help you with those.” Enzo points at the books you were holding. “No, I’m fine.” You answer without even considering his offer, obviously you would never get them back. He and his friends played mean games like that all the time. 

“Oh come on, let me help. It will give me an excuse to walk you to class.” Enzo’s smile was adorable, he really was hoping to spend some time with the pretty girl he had been crushing on for months now. 

“No.” You state dryly and hurry up the stairs. “Wow, you’re quick.” Enzo chuckles as he catches up with you. “Ha, that’s funny.” You snort, rolling your eyes. “Why?” Enzo asks, obviously not remembering what an ass he had been a few days earlier. “Oh, right. You insult people all the time so you probably don’t remember calling me ‘slow’.” An awkward laugh leaves the slytherin’s lips. Oh boy, she remembers. I fucked up. “Me and the guys were just having a laugh.” You again quicken your pace, not in a mood to listen to his lame excuses, but he keeps up. “Yes, you were having a laugh. I was not. I was being mocked by four pompous shits.” 

Enzo jumps in front of you to bring you to a halt. You avoid his gaze, but he ignores your hints of annoyance and moves close to you. “Maybe not my best moment… but how about I buy you a drink as an apology.” Un-be-lievable! “You’re joking, right?” You look up and raise an eyebrow at Enzo, who gives you a weak half smile. “Come on, it will be fun… I’ll pay.” The audacity of this man. “Enzo Berkshire, are you asking me out?” Enzo laughs nervously as he looks down at his feet for a second. “I know I haven’t made the best impression, but I think you’re beautiful and smart and… I think that you should give me a chance.”

Enzo’s starry eyes meet yours again as he closes the distance and carefully snakes an arm around you, convinced his charm, popularity and good looks would win you over. You reach for his tie, playing with it as you lick your lips. “You think I should give you a chance?” Enzo nods, adoring how adorable you are, playing with his tie and looking all flustered. Just as Enzo is about to whisper something flirty you let go of the tie and push him away hard, making him stumble back a few steps. “I’m sorry Enzo, but you must be a bit slow, considering you haven’t caught on to the fact that I don’t like bullies like you. So go try and convince someone else to ‘give you a chance’.” 

Enzo is absolutely shocked and just stares at you as you walk to class. He’s so crushed and confused that he doesn’t notice everyone else in the hallway looking at him. When he finally does notice, he straightens his tie and forces a smile. He tries to come up with something funny to say to make the awkwardness surrounding him go away, but his mind is still stuck on you. 

Mattheo.

You stumble back, missing a step, but an arm wraps around your waist. “Careful there, love, you almost fell for me.” Your brain can’t process that it’s actually Mattheo’s voice you’re hearing until you see his signature smirk. “I’m-I’m sorry.” You whisper and look away from him, but his arm stays around you. “Don’t worry about it, I like saving pretty girls like you.” Your eyebrows knit together. Did Mattheo Riddle just flirt with me? A cocky wink answers the question you never asked.

“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to be going.” Mattheo nods. “Let me guess, potions? I’ll walk you. Make sure you don’t stumble and fall.” Why is he being nice? Mattheo shoves his hands in his pockets as he walks with you. There’s an uncomfortable silence as you nervously watch him from the corner of your eyen, not trusting the Slytherin at all.

“Soooo, I’m curious. If I were to ask you out, where should I take you?” You stop to stare at Mattheo, but you don’t say a word since you really have no idea what is going on in his head. “You’re really cute when you stare so quietly.” Mattheo whispers his soft eyes meeting yours. However, you just shake your head. “Last time I fell silent you didn’t think it was cute. You and your dumb friends mocked me.” Mattheo runs a nervous hand through his hair. “Not my best moment.” Mattheo admits sheepishly, making you frown at how he downplays his bullying. 

Not planning on spending another second in this idiot’s presence, you start walking again, but Mattheo doesn’t let you go very far. He reaches for your wrist and pulls you into him. You place a hand on his chest to steady yourself. “I was a bit of an idiot, but let’s just forget about that.” Mattheo whispers suggestively. “I promise I will make it up to you.” Mattheo adds when you don’t seem convinced. 

Now it was your time to play. 

You move your hand from his chest to the back of his neck. “And how would you make it up to me?” You ask, playing with his hair and almost making his eyes roll back. “Obviously I will spoil you rotten both on our date as well as afterwards.” You bite your lip at his words and press your chest against his. “That actually sounds tempting.” You whisper in his ear, letting your free hand trace his belt just to tease him. “Maybe we can just skip the date and find ourselves a broom closet right now.” Mattheo offers, confident that he has you wrapped around his finger. “We could.” You move your lips close to his, but just as Mattheo closes his eyes wanting to meet your lips you pull away. “Then again, I would rather sit through potions class and walk through hell than go out with you. Bye Matt.” 

And just like that Mattheo was left standing in the hallway, horny and needy for you, but nowhere near a date with you.

“Auch.” Mattheo immediately recognises Pansy’s amused voice. “Did you really think that after being an ass to her for months, a few minutes of smooth talk would get you with her?” Mattheo lets his head fall and sighs. “Pansy. How long have you been lurking?” Pansy just grins. “Long enough to see you make a fool out of yourself. Have fun simping for the girl that hates your guts.” Mattheo growls as Pansy walks away. I screwed this up so bad. How am I gonna win her over…

[tommykinardkink]

Tommy manhandling Buck all over his apartment (casually picking him up because he can, wrestling him to pin him to the bed, Buck curling into Tommy and reaching for him and just needing to feel held, Tommy pressing him against counters and walls to kiss him until he's all weak and pleading)

Okay. So.

The first time it happens, Buck can't help letting out this surprised little squeak. Tommy's strong, he knows that. But Buck's a big guy, he's used to doing the manhandling.

So maybe Tommy stayed over the night before and now Buck is in the kitchen, peering into the fridge as he talks about what to have for breakfast. He's in a pair of sweatpants that sit low on his hips and his chest and feet are bare. And as tempting as that sight is, Tommy's eyes keep straying to Buck's ridiculous bed head and the way the sunshine streaming in from the windows catches in his curls.

Tommy can't help it. He needs to touch.

He goes round the kitchen counter and gently shuts the fridge. Buck's about to grumble—because, hello, hungry—but Tommy cuts him off with a kiss.

Alright, so maybe breakfast can wait.

And things are starting to get heated. Tommy uses his weight to press Buck back against the fridge and his hands have threaded themselves into Buck's hair. The contrast between the cold of the fridge and Tommy's big, warm body makes Buck shiver, and he wraps his arms around Tommy even more tightly, pressing right up close against him.

Tommy's hands begin to wander. They slip lower and lower until they're cupping Buck's ass, and he uses the grip to grind their hardening cocks together. It's a dizzying feeling and Tommy doesn't think before lifting Buck into his arms and carrying him the short distance to the kitchen counter.

"Shit," Buck squeaks, arms tightening around Tommy even further, and not letting go even after Tommy's set him down.

Oops.

"Was that okay?" Tommy asks breathlessly, pulling back as much as he can to check his expression. Buck's wrapped around him like an octopus, eyes wide and lips—pink and glistening and Tommy's thisclose to kissing him again—parted.

It takes Buck a few seconds to answer because... like. Wow. His brain needs a little time to reboot because this is a first that Buck hadn't ever anticipated. Because he's the one who sweeps the girl off her feet. He's the one who has to be mindful of his strength. He's the protector.

It's not the first time that Tommy's turned his world upside down. Buck hopes it won't be the last. He licks his lips as he meets Tommy's gaze.

"Do it again."

Tommy's smile is brighter than the early morning sunshine. It's impossible not to mirror the expression as Buck closes the distance between them again, tasting the joy on Tommy's lips as he kisses him.

It isn't long before Tommy's tugging Buck off the counter and shepherding him back towards the bedroom. He takes every opportunity to push Buck up against the walls and furniture, using his weight to keep him pinned while he luxuriates in the hungry little sounds Buck makes every time he does it. They make it up to the bedroom—each on their own two feet, those stairs are a goddamn death trap and they've both been to too many calls where some lothario has dropped his date on their head—and Buck is grinning, running his palms up and down Tommy's arms, squeezing.

And okay, fine, maybe Tommy's showing off a little bit, but so what? He hasn't missed the dazed, slightly awed, look Buck gets every time Tommy manoeuvres him just how he wants him. So as soon as the bed presses against the back of Buck's knees, Tommy pushes him down onto the mattress. He watches as Buck peers up at him from beneath his lashes, spreading his thighs to make room for Tommy between them.

This fucking kid is going to be the death of him. And what a way to go. So Tommy crawls up over Buck's sprawled out body and takes hold of his wrists, pinning them above his head.

Buck's buzzing, giggling as he gazes up at Tommy. He tests the strength of Tommy's grip and can't help but just marvel at how easily the other man holds him down. He knows that he can free himself if he wanted to, knows that it won't even be a fight because as soon as he says the word, Tommy will let go.

And for the first time, maybe since Abby, Buck feels... safe.

But he's distracted from the fluttering in his chest when Tommy begins to grind down against him, rutting against Buck through their sweatpants. He gasps, eyelashes fluttering, as pleasure flashes through him. It's instinct to pull against Tommy's grip, to try pulling him closer, but Tommy doesn't budge.

Fuck.

So he does the only thing he can. He wraps his legs around Tommy and arches his hips, meeting him thrust for thrust. Tommy grunts above him, warm breath ghosting over Buck's already overheated skin as he picks up the pace, working them closer and closer to orgasm.

It's hot and sticky and kinda gross, and Tommy wouldn't trade it for anything. Tommy peppers kisses up the column of Buck's neck and along his jaw, loving how responsive he is, how he whines and bares his throat for him.

"Come for me, Evan. Come for me now."

He feels Buck shuddering against him, hears his panting breath, and he's so close that it's a kind of agony. But he wants to bear witness to this, to the beautiful way Buck comes undone.

Buck's eyes flutter open after a long moment, and he feels boneless and blissed out. He gazes up at Tommy, at the... fondness in his expression that never fails to make Buck's heart skip a beat. And then he realises—

"You didn't come?"

Tommy smiles ruefully, finally loosening his hold on Buck's wrists to brush an errant curl off Buck's forehead. "I was a little too busy watching you," he admits.

A blush creeps across Buck's face and he ducks his head. He isn't sure what to say to that, can't name the feelings blossoming inside his chest. He opens his mouth to protest because, seriously, he can't be the only one to get off. But Tommy hushes him and presses a kiss to his brow.

"Just let me hold you a little while, yeah?"

He can still feel Tommy's erection pressing into him and uncertainty nags at him. Is Tommy really okay with this? Tommy doesn't give Buck the chance to argue. He rolls over onto his side before pulling Buck along with him, arranging his limbs until he and Tommy are slotted together.

They fit perfectly.

It isn't long before sleep begins to tug at him. He snuggles deeper into Tommy's embrace, tucking his face into the crook of his shoulder and breathing him in.

He has this big, strong, gentle man in his arms, and maybe... maybe it's his turn to be taken care of.

[kanmom51]

Please help 😅 I think there is something or some conversation l have missed in JIKOOK’s timeline. Something about our Jimin getting so upset that he left the members and went home to heal from some trauma caused by V & Jk ?? The next we heard about him was when he was hospitalised suffering from covid?? Please fill in the blanks for me if you know any deets.. l would be grateful. No pressure though😂🫶🏽

Idk what fan fiction this is from, but WOW.

JM healing from trauma caused by V and JK?

The next was when he was hospitalized with covid?

Bull bloody shit is what I can tell you.

But let's look at the timeline why don't we?

At least what we know of it.

JM was hospitalized end of January 2022. Not because of covid but because of his appendix, and when in hospital tested positive for covid.

This followed the group going on a break after their 4 concerts in LA in November 2021.

Last time we had all three together was in their live on 28 November 2021. That was a chaotic super happy live. Only bullying I can think of, jokingly, would be Tae constantly mentioning brand names he wasn't supposed to, lol.

You can find many links to posts I wrote about that live here:

Then JK and JM returned to Korea with Jin. Just the three of them. They were supposed to go into quarantine as they returned, separately, as the government rules stated, and yet JK waited for JM at the airport upon their arrival thinking that they will be sharing a car only for the two to be separated.

There is absolutely, and I repeat absolutely NOTHING to show that there was anything wrong between JM and JK at that place and time!!!

JM and JK were fine, and there was no bullying going on from Tae and JK. What AO3 fanfic is that even?

As for the stupidity I've been hearing of since Ep. 3 of Are you sure? JK and V bullying JM, like wtf is wrong with people?

Every time I think people have reached the limit of being the worst they just prove that they can surpass themselves.

I think people lack basic ideas of human interactions if they claim that the playfulness we saw in that episode can be called bullying. If that's bullying then every single time those three played throughout the years would also be. These are 3 young men who grew up together and at times roughhouse. Like men do.

I've kind of lost hope in trying to explain to these people, who love to see JM as a victim, and therefore think they are his knights in shining armour, that JM is a grown ass man who knows exactly how to put both JK and Tae in their places if he wanted to!!! He's got the physical strength to do so, not to mention the personality too. He's known to have done both, when he wanted. And here's the news flash. Maybe he didn't want to! JM knows how to be assertive. Being such a nice human being doesn't make him a weak human being. I think that many of those that claim to love him and want to protect him either don't know him at all or want him to be weak so they can show up as his great protectors against the big bad JK, whom they would love to get rid of, cause he's just not good enough for JM, in their warped reality. Perhaps because they want JM for themselves.

JK is the person that JM loves most in this world.

The person that stood by JM's side and supported him when he was going through the turmoil he was experiencing during the pandemic.

The person that JM wanted to go on these trips with and came up with the idea to create this show so that they can go on these trips together.

The person that he flew from Korea to NY to be with for his solo debut.

The person that he can't stop talking about and bringing up in conversations that have really nothing to do with him, like during the Minimoni album exchange.

The man he chose to write a song for and write these lines to:

Baby, don't leave Just stay by my side, yeah To you, who see me bigger than what my little self is (to you) So that I can give as much as I’ve received (oh-oh) So that I can keep my word (oh-oh) Don't worry, just stay by my side, yeah (Yeah) We don’t know what the future holds (holds, yeah) And that’s scary and makes us afraid (oh-oh) But don’t forget that we’re always together (don't forget)

The person he chose to enlist with and be with for the 18 months of their military service, even though it meant a more difficult placement, even though it would raise eyebrows and questions marks seeing that the two are the first ever idols, both in their late 20s to do this!!

I've said this once I've said this a thousand times. People need to go live their lives and stop looking for drama where it doesn't exist in JM and JK's life.

They are together.

They are good.

Even if they are idols and public figures.

Even if they are two gorgeous young men who happen to love each other and are, god forbid, in a queer relationship.

Even if being in a queer relationship in their industry and society is frowned upon.

All those don't mean that their relationship isn't just a normal stable long term relationship with everything that such a loving relationship entails, including the struggles.

Enough with trying to insert drama where there is none.

[rafesveryrealgf]

JJ Maybank x pregnant!reader

Summary: no plot fr, just a cute moment w jj and his pregnant gf

Warnings: pregnant reader, mentions of sex (no actual sex), cursing, dad!jj, pet names (baby, sweetheart + princess)

“J, can you please take a break for a second,” you yelled from the living room in hopes it would carry all throughout the hallway and into your unborn baby’s room where JJ had been working on building the crib for hours at this point and he’d barely had any luck. JJ wasn’t the type to follow directions and the nerves of being a dad soon sure as hell made it harder to focus on anything for more than a minute.

He was scared. He was nervous. but he was excited too.

The clacking and banging stopped for a minute so you could hear him speak clearly. “Just a minute, baby.” He yelled back.

You groan when you hear things banging around some more, crib pieces hitting the carpeted floor. You throw your head back against the couch, rubbing your stomach in hopes it would make you less miserable.

“You said that an hour ago, J. If you don’t get your ass over here, I’m coming to you.”

“Don’t- don’t move! M’coming!” He’s drops everything instantly, afraid that you’d injure yourself by simply standing.

As soon as you told JJ you were pregnant, doing anything for yourself was absolutely out of the question.

When you hit your third trimester, JJ was even worse. You need water? JJ will get it. You need to go pee? JJ is either carrying you there or holding your hand the whole way. If he had to work he’d make Sarah and Kiara take turns checking up on you throughout the day until he was back home.

You were now seven months pregnant and he decided since he was off of work for the day, that today would be the day he finally puts up the crib.

He ran to the living room just before you could stand up all the way straight.

“What do you need, baby? You hungry? Thirsty?” He questions whilst out of breath, now standing in front of you. He grabs your shoulders and sits you back against the couch. “Stay put. I’ve got it.”

He’s a second away from making his way to the kitchen to get whatever you need before you speak again.

“No,” You whine, throwing your head against the couch once again in annoyance. “I miss you, J.”

“Baby.. we don’t have much time left before the baby gets here. I’ve gotta put this crib together now.”

“Let’s just get Pope to do it.” You plead. “He’s good at following directions and shit.”

“You want another man working on my kids crib?” He scrunches his face up, waving you off and shakes his head. “S’not happening, baby.”

You look up at him and roll your eyes. “JJ, if you don’t get help, it won’t ever be put together.”

JJ scoffs at that, offended by your choice of words. “Wow.. okay, rude.” He presses a hand to his heart dramatically.

“I’m serious, J.” You inhale deeply following it up with a huff.

“Baby, have some faith in me.”

“Last time I had faith in you, it resulted in a pregnancy. So, I’d rather not.” You referred to the time JJ promised to pull out.

You were now seven months pregnant with his child.

He cringed at that, ashamed that he had such a weak pull out game. “Anyway,” he changed the subject quick. “It’ll be done by tonight, baby. Just wait and see.” He bent down to give you a quick kiss to your cheek before running off to the baby’s room again.

You exhaled sharply. You just wanted attention.

You got up from the couch quietly, afraid he’d come running to you before you could make it down the hallway.

When you got to the baby’s room, you stood in the doorway, admiring the way he looked while deep in his thoughts. He was sitting on the floor, his back turned to you and his back muscles moving as he picked up pieces from the white crib, from off of the floor. His biceps straining as he tried piecing them together.

“Baby,” you said quietly, leaning your head against the door frame, placing your hands on your swollen belly.

He looked back quickly. “Sweetheart, what are you doin’?” He questioned, standing up swiftly to grab you. “Go sit down.”

He put his arm around your waist to walk you back down the hallway.

“I need to walk around. Stop hovering.” You twisted your body so that you were no longer in his grasp.

He was a little taken aback by that. “I’m not hovering.” He scoffed. “I’m just tryin’ to care of my girls.”

You were silent for a bit. He was hovering. “I wanna be able to move around, J.” You whine. “I’m bored of just sittin’ on the couch. If you won’t spend time with me, I’d like to at least be able to walk around.”

“Alright, m’sorry. I’ll spend time with you, the crib can wait.“ He wraps his arm around your waist again. “What you wanna do princess?”

The corners of your mouth pull into a smile. “Wanna cuddle?” You say excitedly.

“Yeah.” He looks down at you, his ocean blue eyes staring into your soul, his lips form a big closed mouth smile. “Yeah, of course I do.”

[mlm-writer]

Daddy/Dearest (Wade Wilson x M!Reader)

Pairing: Wade Wilson/Deadpool x Alien!Cis!M!Reader  Rating: Mature (lowest I can go with a Deadpool fic) Words: 1048 POV: Third Summary: You matched with Deadpool on the intergalactic dating app Starcrossed. After exchanging many dick pics, you decided to visit Earth for your first date... and blow the planet up if the date sucked. Note: Inspired by the song Party Tonight by Joe Hedourix and this prompt. Tags: first date, fluff, idk who Nick Fury really is tbh, 4th wall breaks, romcom and reader’s appearance is a little vague but at some point I started imagining Megamind

“Deadpool! Open up!” Wade groaned at the insistent knocking on his door. He tried to rub his eyes, only to find out that he was still wearing his mask. A quick look down revealed he had fallen asleep on the couch in his PJs. The knocking at his door stopped, so he rested his body on the couch. He had barely closed his eyes, when the door was knocked down. 

He raised his head with a groan, only to be incredibly surprised by his guest. “Wow, Nick Fury, I am not sure if I am even supposed to know who you are, because the writer has seen exactly one movie in which you had a cat, but he supposes you’re an important dude or whatever.” 

“Shut it, motherfucker,” the man wearing a black trenchcoat barked back at Wade. He clearly took note of the dirty white shirt with a butt on it and the blue chequered underwear Wade was wearing, but he did not comment on it. “Do you know the app Starcrossed?” 

Wade laughed, not reading the room that had been filled with armoured men and women because we are inclusive here and women can and will kick your ass if provoked. 

“That app with all the metas on it? Why? Did we match? I’m sorry if I did not reply, but you’re not really my type and you must have been an accidental swipe.” 

“Stop yapping! Does this guy look familiar to you?” From his pocket he unfolded a picture printed on an A4 paper. Wade leaned in and squinted at the picture. He did recognise the person on it. 

“Oh yes that’s my daddy - not my father - but like a sexual daddy you know. You should see his dick.” Nick looked like he was gonna lose it. Wade could tell, but he frankly did not give a shit. 

“Well, your ‘daddy’ is the leader of an alien race, whose armada is in orbit right now to drop him off for a ‘date’ with you. So get dressed, because whether we get blown up or not today is apparently up to you.” That was a lot to take in, but Wade was used to weird days and this was simply just another one of them. 

Now it was common to be nervous for a first date, but the fully armed SWAT team dropping Wade off was not helping. He tried making conversation with them, but they seemed to blame him for possible annihilation before dinner time. 

When he stepped out of the chopper, there was a masculine figure waiting in front of the former military base. He held a large bouquet of iridescent flowers. They seemed either fake or from an alien planet. “Wadey!” The figure called out, waving frantically with all hands that were not holding the bouquet. The inhuman coloured skin seemed to change colour wherever the late morning sun was directly shining on it. 

“Hi daddy,” Wade called back in the same cooing tone. He skipped over to his date. “Are those for me?” He mused, knowing the answer as his date handed them to him. 

“I heard flowers are quite common to bring to a Terran date, so I brought some rare flowers from my planet for you. I am afraid they will not survive as long as they would on my planet though. The sun here is weak.” Wade smelled the flowers. They smelled like butt. Could be worse. At least Wade was familiar with the smell of butt. Wade held the flowers close as he thanked the other for them. “Well then, shall we? Your government was so kind to help me set up an Earth-date.” 

The atmosphere was… weird. There was a very extensive brunch on a beautifully decorated table, but they were surrounded by people keeping them at gunpoint. “You don’t seem bothered by being held at gunpoint,” Wade noted as he rolled up his mask just far enough to shove a croissant into his mouth. 

“Likewise,” his date smirked back at him. He reached out and touched the edges of the mask. “Come on, I already know your dick and ass are covered in scars. Your face cannot possibly scare me.” Wade thought about it. Well, his identity was not really a secret right now anyway. They already knew where he lived. Wade lifted his mask off his face, trying to not show how insecure he was about his fucked up face. However, when he looked at the alien before him, he swore he could see a hunger in his eyes. “If these people were not around, I would fuck your face right now,” the man sighed dreamily, before continuing to clumsily trying to spread butter on a piece of toast. 

Wade reached out and decided to help him. Their fingers briefly touched and Wade saw the other man smile at the contact. It set his body on fire with desire. “I frankly don’t care about the audience, but after writing all those kinktober fics the writer can really use a break from blowjob scenes, so let’s keep this from being E-rated.”

Wade sat back down after buttering his date’s toast. He watched as the alien’s facial features reacted to the taste of Earth food. “Fascinating,” he spoke softly. Wade chatted with his date and those mesmerising eyes and charming smile kept drawing him in. At some point he was sure even Nick Fury could smell his arousal from wherever he was keeping an eye on the situation. There was no more food left, when his date rose from his seat and offered one of his hands. “Let’s get out of here.” 

Wade grabbed his mask and put it back on. “We’ll have to fight our way out of here if we want to do that.” A corona of blue light started surrounding the alien, a devilish smile appearing on his face. The sudden display of power got people loading their guns and Wade’s gun filling up with blood really quickly. 

“Do not worry, dearest, that can be arranged,” the most powerful being that had ever held him spoke, before he blasted a hole in the line of armed people, lighting the way to their future in a flurry of blue. “Let’s have a good time, dearest.”

[astralnymphh]

Would anyone agree with me when I say abby looks like someone who would learn French and then just uses it to make her girls knees weak (cause let's face it that's what foreign languages have power for) [I also feel like she would totally read some classic literature in French cause "it's just better that way" but thats besides the point]

i can actually see that, hear that, feel that in my itty bitty bones, and im not even an abby girl at heart. fucking try to prove me otherwise— but abby procuring a week long sabbatical to the heart of france, paris, for the both of you is so fucking canon. at random too, dude. out of the deep, deep blue her blonde ass would crawl over your dream–absorbed, cooped up body with both her splayed hands shifting weight on either side of you— like a goddamn dog, n' voila your eyelids are creaking open to the wet press of tepid lips and a caramelly thick whisper lacing lines across your neck, "who said you could sleep in past noon'?" so soft and tilting a smoky tone— springs you right out of that groggy state. n' the moment ur' rolling upon your back to garner a blurred look at those gloomy aegean sea eyes that has your heartstrings aswoon and fluttering, she lifts her torso up and away, sat between your thighs— spilling the news, "we're goin' to paris." just straight up. no good morning. no 'hello how was your dream?'. deadass just chucks you right into befuddlement. "wha—?" you curl n' plait your brows confused, the face abby never fails to chuckle at openly, "hmhm, want me to explain over breakfast? or, maybe.." her palm glides a soft pressure over your stomach, tucking fingers underneath the blankets and peeling them slow, "n' bed, de rigueur— as usual?" yet, her legs are already creeping over the stripped blanket and slumping to your side, draping that hunky arm of hers, biceps snug to your reposed waist, hand cradling your belly and lips so dear to the rim of your ear— ready to elaborate and.. twiddle your brain with some french~, "mon amour?"

i just know her french rings out thick and fluid, her voice is just perfect idk. fs will whisper it in your ear at every rise of first light ♡♡ definitely during romantic sex like no denial she'll start chanting that shit like a spell in ur' ear. although it probably is a spell because the tune is just so entrancing. wow, aestra writes 4 abby now?? i never do, so idk how ooey gooey good this is. complimentary gif, tho

[chukys-mouthguard]

smut #19 w vince dunn maybee??!? pls

Prompt: “I’m weak for you.” 

Note: um hi…can someone please explain how I never knew this gorgeous specimen of a man aka Vince Dunn existed? Cause wow 🥵 might have watched like 20 tik tok edits of him before writing this and now I’m down bad…thank you anon 🫶🏼

Warning: sexual content

“Fuck!” 

Vince cursed as he ran his hands through his hair, groaning as he’d lost yet another game of whatever it was he and his teammates spent hours playing every night. You never paid much attention, only knowing they shot at each other and were trying to be the last person standing to win. 

You didn’t mind hanging out while he spent a few hours playing his video games. Just enjoying being in his presence. But you’d be lying if you didn’t get some enjoyment out of the moans and curses that would leave his lips from time to time. Whether he realized it or not, they were hot. Point blank period. 

Each time another moan escaped his lips you’d feel yourself getting more hot and bothered. Squeezing your legs together as you could feel yourself getting wet just by the sound of his voice. 

Normally if Vince were online where he could be seen, you never sat in the room with him. But, tonight not being one of those nights, you figured you’d try your luck at getting him to call it quits early. 

Walking over you wrapped your arms around his neck, a soft moan escaping your lips as you pressed a kiss to his cheek. The kisses trailing down to his neck as he moaned against your touch, subconsciously tilting his head to give you better access. 

“Fuck���”

He cursed as his breath hitched in his throat. Your hands having moved down his chest and grazing over his crotch. Nothing the growing bulge in his sweats. He head falling back as you palmed him over the fabric. 

“Guys I don’t know how much longer I can play. I’m getting fucked tonight.” 

Trying not to chuckle at his choice of words, you made your way in front of Vince. Sinking to your knees as he stared at you with lust filled eyes. The muffles of his teammates in his headset as they were surely trying to convince him to play another round. 

He lifted his hips as he saw your hands making their way to his waistband, giving you easy access at pulling them down along with his boxers. Freeing his cock and earning a slight groan from him at the feeling. 

Looking over your shoulder you’d noticed they started another game, but you were already having your fun, so why stop now? 

Bringing his cock to your mouth, you slowly began licking up the sides before taking him in your mouth. “Holy shit…yeah no no I just sniped someone. All good.” 

Vince doing his best to not get too distracted, but as you deepthroated him that was proving to be harder than he imagined. 

“Fuck! Okay that’s it-“

He tossed off his headset as he exited his game, pulling you from you knees and into his lap. His lips finding yours, hungry and full of need. 

“God, someone decided to be a little naughty tonight huh?” 

He slapped your ass, adding emphasis to his words as he bit his lip. Grinding yourself against his cock you elicited another moan from him, never getting tired of the sound. 

“And someone didn’t really seem to want to stop me from acting on my impulses, huh?” 

Mocking his words playfully you locked your fingers in his hair as his hands traced up your back before he lightly tugged on your hair. 

“Mmm, what can I say? I’m weak for you.” 

You were practically dripping at this point. The way his words were laced with so much want, while still being cocky enough to not sound needy. 

Vince’s lips now covering your neck in kisses, mixed with the occasion bite. He was loving being able to touch you and not have to watch his words or control his noises. 

“God damnit-“ 

Vince’s phone buzzing on the table as he pulled his lips from you. 

“Hello? Yeah, no dude I’m literally getting fucked tonight. A little urgent, sorry.” 

Tossing his phone back on the table his fingers playfully teased at the waistband of your shorts. 

“Now, get these off so you can ride me baby.” 

[thechaoticplayer]

Eating His Prey

author's note: I really wanted to write a fic about Ike, more specifically sadistic and yandere Ike because holy shit it was kinda hot what he was doing sheeeeeesh Summary: Being such a sly (apparently my keyboard wanted to make you slay so you're also very slay) and mischievous little fox you are, you decide to mess around in a wolf's territory. However, you're in for a wild reality check... Contains: degrading oh wow, dom Ike, hes literally using you, and all that spicy stuff mmm

Hunting in the wolf's territory was an adventure within itself, the new terrain and yummy prey was something that you desired very much. Besides, wouldn't be fun to mess around a bit? You are a great predator yourself, enjoying making your prey squeak and cry underneath your arms. You'd drag out their suffering for a good while. It was all fun and games for you.

You are currently traipsing through the forest full of crowded trees, scattered patches of sunlight kissing the grass floor. You finished having a good meal of a rabbit, a cute little thing you almost felt bad for devouring. Your nose quivered, sniffing the air and catching a scent.

Wolf scent. But your senses told you he was away at the moment. You grin, lips pulled back to reveal canine teeth. His little home! Maybe you could get some sort of rabbit shit and litter it all across his home. Maybe you could build a little fort out of sticks for him.

You dart in and out bushes with ease, your feet silently tapping the ground. Your prey hardly ever heard you coming, which was fortunate and unfortunate at once. Unaware little things. Thank god you were an excellent predator and not some weak ass prey!

You find yourself at the mouth of a cave, looking awfully gloomy inside. You sniff once more. Yup, his scent is much stronger here. Without a care in the world, you skip on inside.

It was very dark for a good few feet, your night vision clicking in after a few seconds. Bones lay scattered across the cave floor: skulls, ribs, femurs, arms. Some even arranged in twisted ways, like horrific art. Wolf must be some sort of sick freak. Not like you were anyone to judge. But still. Freak.

But it gradually began to get brighter, and you walk faster, you didn't want to dilly dally after all. You emerge within a bigger room, with a hole on the ceiling like a window. You notice there was no patch of leaves or soft grass for rest (what the fuck does he actually sleep on this hard ass rock? The wolf is literally a psycho) and surprisingly, no weird bone art. Just tallies on the wall, made with his claw you presumed, lining the walls. Several rows after row. What is this? his body count?

Eh. you don't care. You just wanna create a mess out of his home.

You drag some of the bones from the corridor and toss them around. Snapping some in half and creating your own work of art. You giggle as you line up some bones, a picture of a cock on his floor now. Your tail swishes back and forth with excitement. Perhaps you should go back to the riverbed, gather some mud and plaster it all over the wolf's walls. A nice touch to such a bland room.

You turn your head and freeze. Your heart rate increases.

The wolf himself is here, staring you down with golden eyes. Glowing from the darkness, expression blank as he watched you. Caught-red handed. How long was here there anyway? How did you not hear his entrance? as for the smell, his scent was all over the place, and it is very strong. Luck was simply not on your side.

"Well well well," the grey wolf chuckles darkly, sending electricity down your spine. Instinct told you to run your ass out of there, but you froze, out of fear. "What's a little fox doing here in my domain? Wrecking my home, hm?"

You say nothing, eyes glancing behind him. The only exit. A laugh, as he approaches still.

"Since we are going to get very acquainted, my name is Ike Eveland," the wolf says cheerfully and you furrow your brows because what the hell? "And now, answer me this: what gave you the idea to come here? Death wish?"

"...b-because i wanna," your shaky voice replies and you clear your throat. You straighten your body and stare back at him, never backing down. Not too some puny wolf. "I go wherever I want."

Ike tsks at you, stalking closer. "Now now, I like the confidence yes, but do you realise your situation, dear?" He smiles, sharp teeth bared. "I'm going to eat you alive."

Finally, he launches himself at you, claws glinting in the sunlight. Immediately your legs tense and push you, sprinting below him out of the room and into the corridor. Your heart roars in your ears as you run as far as you possibly can out of the cave, breathing heavily.

What a fucking insane little shit! He was definitely a bit smaller than other wolves you met, but something about the way his sinister gaze sent shivers down your spine. You hated to admit it, but the wolf was actually pretty intimidating. His eyes were such a lovely shade of gold though...

You shake your head and keep running, hopping through a small river to make him lose your scent. You turn towards another direction, toward the familiar big tree you liked to lean against when you wanted to think. It was a good distance from the wolf's territory, so you should be fine. Besides, why would Ike come all the way over here for one silly fox? Heh.

You arrive at the foot of the tree and plop down, regaining your oxygen. Damn, you've never ran so much in your life. You curl your fluffy tail around you, plucking out leaves. Your beating heart slowed a bit as relief flooded your veins. That was simply a vibe check from the gods above. You have learned to stay away from there in the near by future, because if you went there again, you wouldn't have a future.

You lean down with the balls of your hand on the grass, stretching with your ass in the air and felt every bone crack in your back. You sigh contently. It has always felt good to do that after a run.

Your ear twitched and a sound of rustling bushes interrupts your stretch. You sit back, suddenly alert. You sniff the air, but only smell your wet fur. You survey your surroundings, and seeing nothing. A squirrel? However, you stayed cautious and kept your ears open.

While you were cleaning your teeth, another sound, the noise of a twig snapping under a huge weight. It is closer to you than before.

With no warning, you high-tail it out of there, not even turning to see who it is because you could already tell by that menacing aura alone. The grey wolf is hunting you.

"Go away!" you shout, shooting through bushes and swerving around thick trees. "Go find some dumb rabbit to devour!"

"You're much more intriguing!" Ike calls, and you're startled by how you can't hear his footsteps and yours is loud as shit. "Let's play a game, huh?"

"I don't play no games!" You snap, diving into a fox hole made from another fox and scurrying through the small tunnel. He couldn't get through because he's too large! ha!

"It'll be fun!" He calls from outside the tunnel. "Let's play hide and seek, little one!" Ike sings, and you find it oddly pretty.

Dude, really?

You shoot out the other end and continue sprinting. Fuck out of here with that hide and seek nonsense!

"I'll be the seeker," Ike says from behind, startling so much you almost stumble. "I'll give you some time to hide!"

His voice fades and you glance over your shoulder. Gone. Kapoof. Finally, holy shit, his presence was getting annoying as shit. Wait. Is he actually going to play hide and seek?

You curse in your mind, running as far as your legs could carry. You pause, chest heaving as you breath rapidly through your mouth. You turn in a circle, attempting to find a good hiding spot. You spy a big tree with a hollow center, obscured by a flower bush. It is right by a river too!

You dive into the hole without delay and try to rein in your breathing. You quickly adjust the bush so it didn't look like it was rammed through. It was not long before you felt that ominous presence again, your tail poofing up instantly.

"Little fox, where are you?" Ike coos from a good distance away. You cover your mouth with both hands. "You're a sly thing, huh? Walking around my own territory like it was your place. Now, it's time to make sure you learn your place."

You press yourself against the wall so hard, the grooves start to imprint on your skin. You're starting to regret your decisions. It seems like the wolf will never let you go until he captures you. You silently pray to whatever gods were listening.

Turns out they were not. They said screw you kiddo you're on your own.

"I will find you," Ike promises, his voice a tad closer. "I can feel your heart. So fast. Am I making you nervous?"

You grind your teeth, stopping yourself from growling. This cocky bastard.

"I tend to get that reaction a lot. I didn't think I was that horrifying, being on the smaller scale," Ike says and you roll your eyes because who the fuck asked? "I give off threatening vibes, supposedly. that's what the last one said anyway."

Huh?

"The last prey I had," the wolf continues, almost as if he just read your mind. "You must've seen the lines on the walls. All animals I've killed and perhaps devour. Sometimes, I kill for the fun of it and leave the carcass for other animals. Oh, how thrilling it is, watching the blood seep onto the floor and the life draining out of their eyes!" Ike sighs and your blood goes cold because it's outside your hiding place. A big hand reaches out to touch the flower in front of you. "Their blood, such a pretty shade of red just like this poppy."

The hand snakes out like a viper and snatches your ankle and you yell, kicking at him but he drags you out of the tree. Still kicking and screaming bloody murder, you kick his face in sheer desperation. His head turned toward another direction but his hand still latched onto your ankle.

"That wasn't very polite," Ike says, his gaze on you and you still. "What's wrong? Sad because you lost?"

"No way!" You claw at his hand but he doesn't budge. Just watches your pathetic attempts. "Let go!"

He leans in close to your face and you halt your actions. His breaths on your face as the wolf holds eye contact with you. The flecked color of brown in his eyes are mesmerizing to look at, entrancing. You swallow hard. Ike's hand slides from your ankle to your knee, to your thigh, sending goosebumps across your skin. He squeezes, his nails digging in slightly and you wince.

"No. You're mine to play with now, cute little fox."

Something about the way his voice went lower, or was it the hand movement? made your heart beat faster, and not in a frightened way. The wolf's hand travels to your hip and your breath hitches, still staring into the eyes of your enemy. The hand goes all the up from your arm, feather light, skins your collarbone and finds itself a new home on your neck. Wrapping his fingers around your delicate neck, Ike begins to squeeze lightly. Still looking down at you with those pretty eyes, hovering over you with such a smirk on his lips.

Ike stops squeezing, evidently surprised. He sniffs the air, but still a hand around your throat, his nose dipping lower. His nose bumps against your thigh and he growls low in his throat, yanking your legs apart. You squeak.

Arousal. Pure arousal, glittering in the light. Ike stares for a moment, still sniffing. His gaze slides back up to you and you stop breathing.

"Little fox..." he says quietly, and excitement jolts up. "Are you... aroused, right now?"

You don't respond, a bit ashamed. Why the hell were you getting horny for the man about to kill you? Who in their right mind-?

You gasp as you feel a hot mouth against your pussy, lapping up the juices with a shocking pace. You whine, struggling to get away but both his hands are on your thighs now, keeping you spread open and down on the grass as he ravaged your pretty little hole.

You tasted so fucking good, more than he could ever imagine! His nose bumps your clit as his tongue glides in and out of your wet hole, making squelching noises. You moan loudly, digging your nails into his scalp as you push him into you. Ike growls, sending more electricity up your spine. His teeth grazes your clit as he suckles the bundle of nerves and you gasp.

"Oh fuck fuck fuck- mph!" You cover your mouth, attempting to muffle your embarrassing sounds.

The wolf stops, narrowing his eyes at you. "Who said for you to hide those pretty noises?"

You bite your lip, legs squirming as the breeze hits your pussy. "I-I, well..."

"Keep our hands. Off. If you do so again, I'll make sure you never do it again, do you understand?"

You nod quickly, getting even more aroused by his threat and you subconsciously think, 'what the FUCK' and he smirks.

Ike eats you out like a wolf starved, fucking and teasing your hole with such accuracy you start to see stars, and watching him eat you like you were the best meal he ever had turned you on even more and you felt your walls clamp around his tongue.

"Good slut," Ike whispers against your clit, sucking on it for a brief moment before sinking his teeth into your thigh, making you yelp. "Horny little thing, for a predator who was going to devour you whole..." the wolf chuckles.

Your slick slathered across his face, buried in you, legs over his shoulders was a sight to see. You moan, "a-ah! Mmm, right there, t-there!" Your toes curl, eyes rolled back as the orgasm comes over in waves, making your body shake from pleasure as you release soft whines. But Ike isn't done, he's just getting started.

A finger pushes itself into you and you gasp yet again. It explores your walls, tickling that one spot. Then another is added, and Ike slowly pumps his fingers into you, watching with fascination as your pussy eagerly swallows his digits. Pulling him in.

"What a fucking whore," he notes, flicking his eyes up at your flushed cheeks and the drool leaking down your chin. "I haven't even put my cock in you yet."

Your walls squeeze around his fingers at the sentence and he laughs darkly. He bites your other thigh, drawing blood as you wince in pain. The wolf quickly laps up your blood with a groan. His fingers pump faster, curling at the right time and you moan in a mix of pain and pleasure.

"Greedy bitch. Do you want me to let you cum?" He asks, gold glowing between your legs. New hickeys flourish all over your inner thighs along with obvious bite marks.

"Yes please," you moan, angling your hips up and he repeatedly hits that delicious spot. "Hah- f-fuck! N-ngh! Pleasepleasepleaseplease... "

Ike pulls his fingers out and you immediately protest but he shushes you. The loss of his fingers inside you was making you insane, until you get filled up by something entirely different.

"O-oh... " you moan quietly, his cock hard inside of you.

"Dumb fox." Ike takes your wrists and pins them above your head as he looks down at you. Your breath hitches. "Dumb, horny fox."

He snaps his hips and you make a guttural sound. Ike's pupils are big, drinking in every single detail from your sweat collecting on your skin, your body squirming underneath him, to your mouth popped open slightly. Oh, and those luscious lips of yours, appearing soft and unkissed...

Might as well make you his new toy now, eh?

Ike smashes his lips into yours as he fucks you fast and hard, shoving his tongue inside your mouth as you open to moan. Tongues dancing together and his muscle exploring every single space within your mouth. You tasted so delicious and felt so delicious, there was no way in hell he was letting you go now.

Satisfied with your bruised lips, the wolf goes to mark your neck. Biting, kissing, sucking. Your legs wrapped around his waist as he digs his nails into you. Tears running down your face as you hiccup, crying and saying "it's too much, it's too much'.

Ike could not give a damn. You brought this upon yourself, and now he's going to have fun with his new fucktoy.

[sturnioloshacker]

fuck on a high - a vinnie hacker short smut

a/n: requested by anon; lowercase intended 

cw: weed, smoking, alcohol, drinking, getting tispy, getting high, lap dance, grinding, dirty talk, sex, creampie, smut. this is an nsfw short and contains mentions of weed and alcohol, everything written is fictional. interact or don’t, i’m not your mother.

summary: a first time high results in some sensual and sexual feelings between friends 

knocking on the door to vinnie’s house, my heart races and my knees go weak. vinnie and i have been best friends for years but recently i have developed a massive crush on him. i really want to tell him but I’m terrified of ruining this amazing friendship we have so i’m keeping my feelings to myself, locked away in my heart. tonight I’m coming over for a smoke session. he’s been struggling a lot lately so i figured to take on the role of being a good friend and come keep him company by having a smoke with him. i’ve never done weed before nor have i experienced a session so this will be interesting.

the door opens and i’m greeted by the smile that makes my heart explode. vinnie falls into my embrace, his head leaning on my shoulder as he places a small kiss there. he pulls away and leads me to his balcony that connects to his room. my eyes widen at the set up he has out here. two shot glasses, a bottle of tequila, a whole bunch of joints and a lighter. 

“wow, vin! this is…”

“i know, it’s a lot, i’m just not feeling myself right now”.

“and that’s okay. i’m here to help you and join you, even though i know nothing about drinking or smoking”. i smile at him.

“wow, you really are sweet and innocent.” he smirks, a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

we’re halfway into our session and I’m feeling woozy and sick. i’ve lost count on how many tequila shots i had and i’ve lost count on the amount of blunts i’ve gone through. the music quietly plays in the background as i sway side to side to it. vinnie takes notice and smiles. 

“enjoying yourself?”

“fuck yeah i am! turn that shit up!”

vinnie chuckles as he turns the speaker up, the weeknd blasting through my ears. i slowly get up, feeling the beats rush through my veins. my swaying becomes extra, my hips swinging from side to side making my ass stick out. my arms are up in the air before they sensually run down my body. i’m way too out of it to even care that this isn’t me but i do know that it’s all going to come back and bite me on the ass tomorrow morning. i look over at vinnie who is sitting back in his chair, blunt up to his lips. he looks so fucking hot, god I wanna sit on his lap so bad.

“god, i wanna sit on your lap so bad!” i yell over the music.

“come sit then, sweetheart.”

i seductively make my way over to vinnie, my eyes locked in a sensual gaze with his. i straddle his waist before sitting right on top of his cock. i feel his hands run up and down my body, making sure to go super slow so that he can touch every inch of me. he removes the blunt from his pink lips before leaning in to blow the smoke into my mouth. 

“you’re so fucking sexy, look at you”.

i giggle at his comment as i softly grind against his lap, feeling his cock twitch against the fabric of his sweats. 

“that’s it, pretty girl. keep going for me.”

my hips roll against vinnie at a faster pace, the friction becoming too much to handle. i remove my top to reveal the lacy bra i have on underneath, leaving vinnie to imagine every single naughty thought he had on his mind. he brings his hands to my tits, giving them a squeeze which makes me moan. he removes my bra to get a better look and feel.

“so perky and so pretty, just the way i like it.” he says before taking one of nipples in his mouth.

every bite and suck on my nipples has me moaning and grinding against him even faster. i feel his cock practically begging to be released from the prison that is his sweats. the alcohol and weed officially taking over my body, i go to remove vinnie’s jacket, unzipping it to reveal his toned chest and abs. 

“fuck baby, i need to be inside you, please.” vinnie groans, the throbbing becoming so painful and hard to ignore. 

i hop off his lap and watch him remove his sweats, his big thick cock slapping against his stomach. i audibly whine at the thought of him being inside me and feeling so full of his delicious girth. he motions for me to come back so i do. 

“sit on my cock, princess. i wanna feel how tight you are”.

i hover above his length before sinking down on it, feeling so full already and i’m not even halfway. as soon as he’s fully inside me, i feel him bottom out making us both moan at the intense pleasure. i adjust to his size before giving him permission to move. he goes to start before i stop him to kiss him with everything that i have. we continue to kiss as vinnie slowly thrusts his hips up, his cock hitting my cervix. why is he such a tease? i start bouncing up and down, meeting him halfway and letting him know that i want more. he obliges and starts moving at a faster rate, pounding my walls so hard i feel like they’re going to rip. 

“fuck sweetheart, you’re so tight.”

“oh vin, please don’t stop, you feel so good!” i cry out as he continues to hit my sweet spot.

the pleasure becomes way too much at this point. i can practically feel myself falling apart on vinnie’s dick and the knot in my stomach unravelling at the speed of light. my eyes roll back and my mouth hangs slightly agape, letting the moans and whimpers fall out from my lips. vinnie takes notice and begins to fuck me even harder. my head lulls forward and i feel his arms wrap around my waist to pull me closer to him, making me lean my head against his shoulder.

“cum for me, princess. you’re so close i can feel you gripping my cock so fucking good. cum for me, you got it.”

those words alone sent me to the moon. i see stars as i feel my cream around him, my juices flowing to the base of his cock and dripping down his balls. i spasm against him, his grip holding me close to him as he cums inside me. vinnie slowly continues to rock inside of me, riding out his high. he slowly pulls out, letting his cock rest against my ass. 

“you okay, love?” he asks sweetly.

“yeah, that was unreal!”

we both giggle as we sat in each other’s naked embrace. we slowly start to sober up and the realisation hits me. i just fucked my best friend while drunk and high and enjoyed it. oh my god. i think he realises this too as we both stare at each with wide eyes and open mouths. he goes to speak but i cover his mouth with my hand as i go to speak first. 

“vinnie, i really like you and i hope that this doesn’t ruin what we have between us”.

“trust me, sweetheart, it won’t. i really like you too. fuck that, i love you. you have always been by my side since day one.”

“you love me? well, i love you too.” i say before smashing my lips against his. 

wow, it turns out that alcohol and weed can make you say and do crazy things that you either regret or don’t regret and this decision is one i definitely don’t regret at all!

[phyrestartr]

Easy Prey (An Underestimation) | Miguel x M!Reader

Brother's BFF Miguel! x Male!Reader W/C: 3.2k

#NSFW, college party, cringe dirty talk, butt plugs, bussy loading, alcohol usage, pot usage, vaping, reader is a little shit, miguel gets got, fluff, it's kinda cute tho, consensual sex, car sex

--

"Who is that?" Miguel asked over the howl of party-goers and blasted music. He held his shitty beer in one hand, and a weird concoction of juice, something and…something suspicious in his other hand. Lyla really knew how to embody college in her get-togethers. 

Sebastian glanced at who Miguel gestured to with the tilt of a chin, and he burst into drunken laughter. 

"Dude. No. Nooo no no, nope. That's–nope," he answered, very helpfully. "Just very no." 

Miguel rolled his eyes as his best friend's girl kissed her man, and stole away Miguel's chance of learning just who the alt weirdo lounging on the couch was. Christ, people in love were so fucking annoying. 

"Why, what's his baggage? Drug dealer? Academic dishonesty?" Miguel took a deep drink from the red solo cup and grimaced. "Fuck, what the hell is in this?" 

Sebastian let his girlfriend kiss his neck as he finally gave Miguel an answer. "That's my little brother, dipshit. You remember (Name)? I've only mentioned him like a thousand billion times." 

"Huh." Miguel sipped his beer this time. 

(Name). 

Yeah. Through the haze of booze and the boom of the bass, Miguel did recognize that name. He didn't know you had such a pretty face, though. 

Seb smacked his friend's shoulder. "He's sooo off-limits, dude, so off-limits." 

Miguel scoffed, brandishing an arrogant smirk on his handsome face. "Says who?" 

"Says me, you fucking whore–you're not going to stick your horse dick in my baby brother, you got that?" And he sounded serious, but Miguel didn't really care much. "Hey, hey, if you fuck him, I'm gonna rip your cock off and shove it up your ass and then light you on fire, Miguel. I'm so fucking serious."

"Baby," Seb's girl cooed, "why don't we go wind down a little, huh? I think you need to lay down and cool off." 

"Yeah, go lay down, Sebby," Miguel chided.

"I–but I–okay, I'm gonna go do a 'lil nappy nap," he started, letting his girl drag him away from his arch nemesis, "but when I come back, you better've not cum in my brother, you hear me, O'hara?" 

"Bye bye, sweet dreams," Miguel called instead of answering. He downed the cursed solo drink as soon as Sebastian was spirited away and made his way over to you. 

Miguel more or less brute forced his spot on the couch next to you, pushing between you and some other guy that was getting too handsy with his prey. The other guy threw half-assed complaints and curses at Miguel, but one simple condescending glance had him backing off. Hah. So weak. 

"Woah, you really just–just made a spot for yourself, hey?" You said, earning his attention back. "Kinda hot. Really hot. You're hot." 

Miguel smirked as he looked you over. He liked the sound of your voice, and the lazy, relaxed gaze you met him with. Normally, he didn't go for the softcore scene type, but the black nails suited you, as did the ring showcasing your septum. 

"Couldn't ignore a damsel in distress," Miguel leaned in to say before he slipped his arm along the back of the couch. "I'm Miguel. Miguel O'hara." 

"Cool. You fuck guys?" You licked your lips and, oh god, was that the gleam of a tongue stud he saw?

Excitement bubbled in Miguel's gut. "Straight to the point, huh? I like that." He finished off his beer and set the can down to focus on you. "I fuck anyone with a pretty face."

"Oh. Wow. Damn." He watched your leisurely fingers touch all up and down his body. The firm pushes and soft pinches were left in the right places, like you'd done this before to other men. Miguel figured he was probably the best specimen you'd ever laid eyes on.

And then you kissed him like it was the most natural thing in the world. Somehow, it did feel natural, like you'd been dating for years and had done this a million times before, but still drowned in the excitement of one another. 

Miguel anchored one hand to your waist while the other freely travelled from your shoulder to your neck to the side of your face. He jolted when your fidgety hand slid down to his clothed cock and gave a hearty squeeze. Damn, you really were straight to the point. 

But the way you kissed was another story--you took your time, licking deep into his mouth and prodding behind every tooth to commit Miguel's mouth to memory. You made the sweetest noises, too, reacting to however Miguel decided to taste along the top of your mouth, how he bit your tongue lightly to stop it from leaving him. It'd been so long since Miguel had a partner like you. 

"Let's take this somewhere else," Miguel whispered into your skin while his hands started to wander to your hips, your waist, your legs. "Unless you're an exhibitionist freak." 

"Woooah, you'd fuck me right here if I wanted? And they say chivalry is dead." Miguel laughed something genuine, only cutting off when you kissed him. "But no, no, I like gettin' messy in privacy." 

"Then let's get messy."

Miguel picked you up and hoisted you over his shoulder. The choked half-laugh, half-squawk you let out earned you a sharp slap on the ass as he stole you away to eat you whole, like a jaguar dragging its kill up into a tree for a little privacy. 

He could navigate Lyla's house easily, expertly dodging the flailing limbs and spilling drinks of party-goers as he searched for somewhere quiet to take his prize. But every room he checked had its own lust-crazed college students busy fucking or about to get things started. 

You piped up from your spot on Miguel's shoulder, though, suggesting the perfect place to fuck: your truck. 

"Pretty big," Miguel commented as you both rushed to fold down the back seats to make more room for playtime. 

"Mmmn, I like big." You slammed the boot closed before shuffling back to him. "Bigger is better." 

Miguel grinned wolfishly before pinning you down. "Glad you understand." 

You helped him pull everything off of you from the waist down before you yanked him back in for another sloppy, drunken kiss. His hands, broad and calloused from years of lifting weights, felt up every inch of exposed skin, from your waist, to your thighs, to the powerful curve of your calves, and back up again. Admittedly, he didn't expect you to be in-shape. You weren't built like your brother, a buff, tall meathead; you were built more like a runner: slim, toned, agile.

"Wait, wait, wait," you gasped when Miguel's kisses started migrating lower and lower. The man looked up at you, brow quirked, impatience tugging down the corner of his mouth. "I wanna–" 

"Nope," Miguel cut in.

"Whaaat? I just–'M not allowed to feel you up–? I wanna see your muscles," you whined.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Don't care."

Miguel ignored your drunken complaints while he focused on getting you prepped and ready for his own satisfaction. Sure, he liked letting his prizes fawn over him, obsess over his muscles and leave feverish touches on his tawny skin, but time was of the essence; who knew when your brother would roll up and ruin things? 

He leaned back up and stuck his fingers into your mouth for a few, rude thrusts before yanking them out and easing your legs open so–oh. 

A twinkling, pink, heart-cut gem winked at him in greeting, and a jolt of excitement went straight to Miguel's straining cock. He swallowed as he watched it flicker and gleam with every little shift of your impatient hips. Part of him wanted to leave it in. But the worse side of him wanted to yank it out, and give it something to hold in. 

"What's this?" He asked, patronizingly as he gave the plug a bit of a tug. "Guess you are a freak, huh?" Miguel asked in a rich, smokey tone. 

But instead of getting embarrassed and shrinking away like he expected, you just wiggled your ass tauntingly. 

"'S a buttplug," you said matter-of-factly. "Wanted to get laid t'night." You reached your mischievous hand down between your legs and drummed two fingers against the crystalline base. "Stuffed lube in first. Makes hookin' up fast 'n easy," you explained as you gripped the heart and started to tease the plug free. Miguel's hand caught your wrist before you could get very far. 

"And people call me a degenerate," he laughed. Miguel pulled your hand away and took over, watching with rapt attention as the silvered metal plug started to emerge. "But you're just…somethin' else." 

You mewled softly and your thighs tensed the slightest bit when the plug slipped out before a generous amount of lube oozed from your emptied hole. Miguel eagerly scooped it up with his fingers and pushed it back inside. Knowing him and his size, he'd need every last drop. 

"People call you a degenerate?" You said through a snorted laugh. "Why? You're like–you're so–" you gasped in the same way a 90's horror final girl would when you caught sight of The Thing being pulled from Miguel's pants, "--b-big. Wow. Big. Can I take a pic?" 

"What? What do you–can you–no, Christ." He sighed as he stroked himself with your slick and didn't waste much time with foreplay or warming up before mounting you again. "Think you might be worse than me after all, you know that?" 

"Probably am." You squirmed a little under his body as he caged you in, his thick arms bracing on either side of your head, and his hard, heavy chest looming above you as he got his massive frame comfortable in the trunk of your truck. It was insane to think that, even with the seats down and nothing in the way, Miguel still almost didn't fit. Part of you kind of thought he might weigh more than the car, too. Hm. 

But finally, finally, Miguel dragged the hot tip of his cock against your soft, pliant entrance before jamming himself inside with a blissed-out sigh. 

"Fuck," he breathed before pulling out the slightest bit and pressing in deeper again, and again, and again, until he bottomed out. His nerves flared when your hand slipped down to your own weeping length and stroked yourself, selfishly chasing your high with no regard for Miguel. 

He scoffed, and bitterly refused to hold back. The pace started off brutal and fast, Miguel using you the same way you were using him. Annoyance fuelled his tempo. He didn't know why your lack of giving a shit aggravated him, but it did. And he didn't like it. 

But when he finally got a breathy, thin gasp out of you, he smirked. 

"Oh? Finally something out of you. Tch." He folded you in half and hiked your legs over his solid shoulders to drill into you harder. Another small sigh fuelled his ego. "You like that, huh? You like being bent up, outta sorts, fucked by a stranger at a party, huh? That get you off?" 

The ladies always crumpled under his heinous words and dirty talking; their expressions warped into something pathetic and embarrassed, they'd make the worst discount pornstar noises, or they'd cum right on the spot. It was a great thing, a beautiful thing, something that Miguel prided himself with quite a bit. 

So why were you shaking with bottled laughter? 

Miguel's eye twitched. "What's so funny?" 

"Y-you just–you talk like you watch too much porn–! I'm just s-saying, man, this is kinda wild." A confusing mix of laughs and gasps punched out of your lungs as your back started to arch. "I-It's making it hard to cum–" 

"Shut up, just shut up–you're making me regret this," Miguel bit out, trying to hasten his pace to finish up and leave you in the dust. "I didn't know you were so fucking annoying." 

You moaned sweetly as he nailed that sweet spot of yours perfectly, before never hitting it again. "Awe, boo hoo, gonna cry 'cause I think your dirty talk's cringe? Life is sooo hard–" you squeaked as he pulled back and out abruptly. Your legs clattered to the ground and you barked out another hyena laugh as Miguel moved to tuck himself away with the most unreal sour expression you'd ever seen. 

"Hey, hey, hey, don't give up," you cooed. "Come on, you know you wanna finish the job. I'm so submissive." 

"I fucking can't with that fucking annoying fucking mouth of yours," Miguel grumbled before spitting bars of Spanish at you. 

Feeling a rush of energy, you tackled him as well as you could in your truck, and managed to wrestle that hulk onto his back. He was glaring at you when you finally managed to straddle him, but in a sort of embarrassed-mad way, not a real pissed off look. Still, you had to test the waters. 

"Off," Miguel said. 

"Woah, woah, woah, I can do the whole dirty talk thing if you want," you bartered. 

"No. Off." 

"Come on," you whined before leaning down to his ear and dropping your voice down into a dripping dark chocolate, "you're such a good boy, Miguel, let me treat you right." 

And with a greedy little wriggle of your hips against his stiffy, Miguel was doomed. 

"Fucking–fine, you little–" but he couldn't finish that thought, not when he suddenly found himself plunged back into your tight heat. 

"Bah, come on," you prodded as you rocked your hips at a selfish, primal pace. "Say it if it gets you off." 

With a mind of their own, Miguel's hips jolted up to meet your downwards momentum, and a near animalistic cry hoarsely tore through your throat. And once again, Miguel couldn't help the jerk of his pelvis grinding up against you–you were proving to be too much. 

"Fuck," you gasped. You stroked yourself again, now faster and with the broken tempo of your chaotic coupling. "You like being dominated? That it? Told what to do 'n then get some praise for being so, so good?" The laugh you let out could only be labelled evil. "Mmmn, that's hot." 

But Miguel couldn't speak, not through his mind blanking bright white every time your bodies crashed together. Even when he tried to speak, only gasps and pathetic moans and pleas slipped out of him, suddenly begging you to fuck him harder, to make him finish, to let him cum inside of you and mark you as taken for the night. Reality felt so far away and numb, even when he knocked his head against the ground as he came.

You felt his nails bite your sides as liquid heat filled in the space where Miguel couldn't reach. Miguel's teeth clenched together with an audible clack as you laughed at him, riding him for all he was worth, using him past the point of over stimulation without a care in the world. 

"Shit," you moaned quietly, then chanted it over and over, breathing faster and harder as you pushed yourself towards the edge. But you were a little shit, so of course you scrambled to push up Miguel's shirt just before you finished, just in time to streak sticky white webs of cum onto those well-defined abs of his. 

Miguel finally caught a break. He held you in a vice grip, not trusting you to behave while you both calmed down and fought to steady your breathing. Your fingers trailed across his stomach and abdomen, tracing the dips and curves of hardwork and dedication, and also smearing trails of your spend on him. 

"I've decided. I hate you. So, so much," Miguel said. He let his eyes fall closed again as he accepted his fate. 

You laughed, more amused and playful than mean and mocking this time, and drummed your fingers against his sticky skin. "Yeah. Fair. Kudos to you for being a good sport, though." You paused for a moment. "Wanna get high?" 

"Yes." 

Shockingly, you were quite good with the aftercare; you took it upon yourself to clean the both of you up with a plethora of wet wipes, paying special attention to the mess you'd made on Miguel's stomach and leaving no trace behind on him. As for yourself, you stuffed the silver plug back into your ass and called it a day, only really needing to clean up any sin that'd escaped your insides. 

You both more or less got dressed, and then you hit the vape. Miguel wasn't a stranger to Mary J, but he didn't often vape. He was used to messy blunts rolled by idiots like your brother, but admittedly, he kind of liked this more. 

"It's not bad," Miguel remarked as he examined the silvery pen. "Lot less…y’know." 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get what you mean." You stretched languidly across Miguel's lap, and plucked the pen from his fingers. You took a deep, lazy drag while your newfound friend exhaled a cloud of vapor. "Smoke works better for hot boxing, though. Blunts do, I mean." 

Miguel hummed, lost in the haze of his thoughts, warmed by the buzzing in the back of his skull and your weight across his lap. His fingertips dipped beneath your clothes, absent-mindedly seeking comfort in the heat of your body in his lap. His broad palm pressed flat against your stomach, and you rested your smaller hand over his. 

"You think the, uh, the chick who owns this place is gonna freak if I crash here?" You asked before crafting a few smoke rings. "'M toootally fucked up. Driving's a no-no." 

"Lyla won't care," Miguel said with a yawn. "She's a witch, but not a psycho bitch." 

"Hah. You know her?" 

"She's basically my sister. Unfortunately." Miguel huffed and shook his head.

"Oh, cool, cool. She's fire. Like her. Really chill, but in, like, a smart way," you rambled. 

"Pretty good way to put it." Miguel smiled. 

"Yeah? Yeah. I'm kinda smart sometimes, too. Not super smart, but, y'know, selectively smart." You nodded and stretched again with a yawn. "That's how I bag hot guys. Like you, I guess. But this was more fun. You're more fun 'n a better sport than most guys I mess with." 

Miguel stared at the foggy windows. Fun. That's what he was thinking, too. He never had the chance to smoke a joint or indulge in aftercare with most of his one night stands, but it's not like he'd gone out of his way to make that happen, either. He'd never really had a partner mock him either, though. You were kinda weird. But in a good, fun way. 

"Yeah. I had fun," Miguel admitted. When his eyes slid back to you, you were grinning, and a sweet dusting of strawberry powder lit up your soft cheeks. Miguel couldn't help his own smile. 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

"Oh. Cool, cool." 

"Wanna go out with me?" The question caught Miguel by surprise, too. He didn't really commit to people. He didn't really become exclusive with people. But hey, people changed. 

You fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. "Mmn, what's in it for me?" 

"Bragging rights." Miguel smirked. "You know how many people want me?" 

"Hmm." 

He huffed, now, your skepticism doing a number on his ego. "I–well what do–you'd get dick, big dick, get chauffeured around, I'd pay for dates–" 

"Would you go see a musical with me if I asked?" 

Ah. The ultimate test. 

"...Yes." 

"'Kay. We're gonna go see Grease tomorrow night–uh, tonight. Technically." 

A grin split Miguel's face and ached his cheeks. "Alright." 

You smiled back. "Alright." 

"Just don't tell your brother." 

"Lame."

[cakerybakery]

There was silence in the wake of Lucifer’s threat to fuck him. Adam, who is famous for being the first man and a rockstar in heaven and is aware that people write or draw fan works about him, could hear the clacking of keyboards already. He needed to do damage control.

It was obviously a slip of the tongue but Adam didn’t need more fanworks of him getting wrecked. The drummer in his band was well liked and good looking! The last thing he needed was people thinking he took the devil’s dick too!

Did you know the number of drawings he’s seen of himself taking fucking dick from his drummer?? His nickname was not helping!

He needed to nip this in the fucking bud.

“It’s fuck-“

“MAYBE I’LL FUCK YOU!” Wait, what was girl Lucifer about to say? Screw it. Too late now.

Adam launched himself at Lucifer and smashed him into the ledge. On top, and through the dust Adam could just make out Lucifer’s confused face.

He whispered desperately, “you gotta let me win this one man. If I see anymore drawings of some guy’s dick in my ass I’m going to break.”

Lucifer kicked him back and took to the air. They grappled after Adam gave chase.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Lucifer easily slipped from his grasp.

“You know how many articles I’ve seen in heaven talking about if I’m a fucking secret relationship with this loser drummer in my band up?” The kick to his stomach hurt and Adam gasped for a second, “fuck. Cut that out, bitch!” He huffed and made another grab for Lucifer, “I stole some chick that was into him and now everyone thinks I have to hots for him and didn’t want to see him get laid.”

Lucifer had him from behind and Adam could see the artwork already. “Fuck NO! Don’t do that!”

They crashed into the building and Adam stopped fighting.

“Look, when heaven finds out, if I lose, I’m going to get pegged as the bottom. I can’t stop the drawings or stories, but I, at the very least, want to be the top.”

“Uhh, aren’t you trying to carry out an extermination? You tried to kill my kid. I think you got off track somewhere.”

“Your stupid comment is going to get me sent a thousand pictures of your dick in my ass. I’m going to get pictures either way, but if I can convince people that I’m railing you, then at least my girls won’t be wallpapering my locker with drawings of my ass full of cum. It’ll be your ass.”

“Not seeing how that’s my problem.”

Adam choked, he hadn’t thought of that. “I’ll do whatever you want if you let people think I topped you.”

Lucifer’s face was blank for a minute before a wicked grin spread.

‘Oh shit. Oh no. Oh fuck. This isn’t good.’

“Call off the exterminations, permanently.”

Oh that wasn’t so bad. Easy. “Fucking done.” He held out his hand to shake.

Lucifer didn’t take it, his grin just widened, “and I’m going to fuck you.”

“Wha-what?” Oh fuck a bitch. Which, right now, seemed like was going to be him.

There was noise of people above them and Lucifer snapped a distortion bubble around them so no one would be able to see or hear them.

“You heard me. I want to see exactly how desperate you are. Are you willing to let me sink my dick in that plump ass of yours so people think you don’t take it up the ass?”

What was he going to do?

“Clock’s ticking Adam. I don’t care if people think we fucked, but you do. And the longer you take to more likely I’m going to get bored and let folks think you enjoyed taking the devil’s dick. My denying it won’t matter.”

Adam’s knees felt weak. People would talk no matter what. He’d already tried denying rumours about him and the fucking drummer, he didn’t even know the guy’s name, and it just got worse. Lucifer held all the cards here. “Okay.”

Lucifer laughed, “wow. That was fast.”

“You’re right. Just, tell me how you want me and I’ll do it.”

“How I want you is next year, one year from now, you come to my home. Dress nicely, we’ll have dinner. Maybe some wine. Go for a nice walk around the garden. Then, I’m going to pound you into the mattress until you cum screaming my name. From dusk until dawn, I’m going to have you every way I can think of over the next year.” Lucifer held out his hand, “still willing to make a deal?”

“…” Adam had to think a moment, maybe he’d get lucky and someone would stab him to death before then? “Deal.” They shook on it.

[creepsopasta]

playing games with some pastas

includes; eyeless jack, jeff the killer, hoodie, masky, ticci toby, homicidal liu, kagekao

eyeless jack:

- bit of a sore loser. not good with games that make him rage or online games

- voice chat with him is crazy!! he is literally foaming at the mouth yelling and cursing he is so bad at games :(

- “jack it’s gonna be okay” “FUCK you”

- he is not very kind about his losses

- most likely ends up throwing the control at the tv and breaking it (bad ending)

- whenever he ends up winning he’s ecstatic he does not stop talking about it and will brag about it to you exclusively. just go with it okay he needs it for his already shattered ego

- 0/10 experience would not do again.. okay maybe he would if you talked him into it and told him how much of a great player he is

- “i AM awesome aren’t i???” “yes you are <3”

- the more you play together the more he’ll learn to calm the fuck down and just enjoy himself

- still rages a lot tho

jeff the killer:

- plays board games like candyland and twister

- he’s a fucking shark he’s got all this shit down he knows how to win

- anyone who gets paired up with him for game night is 85% guaranteed to win (unfortunately there is someone out there who’s better than him)

- gets PISSED over not winning twister fucking furious he is literally the most flexible guy in this house he can do so much with his body

- monopoly is his favorite game. he esp loves to play with the younger pastas bc they believe anything he says and he thinks it’s hilarious

- “NOOOO PLEASE DON’T TAKE MY HOUSE” “your rent is $500,000, sally… it’s my house now”

- not a very avid video game player. he never really played a lot tbh

- good at everything EXCEPT connect four. do not make him play connect four he hates it he has terrible memories of it

- mastermind strategy planner. it’s a shame he doesn’t think this much at any other time

- boasts about it big time if you lose (you will probably lose) but might even try to let you win on purpose if he feels bad or sees you’re upset

hoodie:

- more of an arcade game guy. if you’re looking for like pinball games or pacman or space invaders or maze games or those weird money machines (that he kind of just. steals from) then he’s like great at all of them

- has spent hours honing his skills in his free time so you’ll be grinding for a while if you wanna beat him

- all the highest scores on the arcade machines are his. no one has topped them bc they’re fucking insane

- “wow you really have nothing better to do huh” [takes out gun] “that’s enough out of you jack can’t even fuckin move the joysticks around”

- tries to act like he isn’t competitive about it but he really super is

- thinks it’s just adorable that you think you can defeat him. no he will not be humbled by his lover of all people… that would make him a weak man

- goddamn merciless. no favors for anyone he revels in the rage he causes (see jack for more)

- if you’re a beginner he’ll take it easy on you until you learn the ropes and will offer tips but as time goes on he’s gonna be looking for a fight

- if he’s ever beaten, he will take it in grace and go straight from denial to acceptance

- does not rage that often. just hardcore practices until he’s like fucking unstoppable

masky:

- card player :(

- hates go fish tho he has such bad luck with it and everyone makes fun of him bc it’s like the universe does not want him to win

- good at boring ass stuff like solitaire or blackjack and if you ask him if he can play anything funner he’ll be like “oh so like rummy or spoons :]”

- no masky not like rummy or spoons… like uno or fucking play with some goddamn pokémon cards

- he’s so enthusiastic about it though so cmon just indulge him alright.. he literally has nobody else around him who’s into cards

- “okay so i win” “what… but we just started”

- he plays chess too!!! maybe you’ll find that more interesting?? he’s not very in touch with board games or anything this is the best he’s got

- deadass makes up his own rules if you don’t know anything about the game you’re playing

- “yeah so now you have to eat a rat. sorry babe”

- is never going to make fun of you if you suck at cards it’s not like he can beat jack in video games

ticci toby:

- dnd enjoyer he loves being the dm especially

- he, you, jeff, hoodie, lj, and occasionally masky have game nights and all you guys do is sit around the kitchen table trying not to curse each other out for doing stupid shit

- “c’mon guys this is supposed to be fun :(”

- doesn’t know that most of you have no idea how to play so he makes it super difficult

- has had to REPEATEDLY glue the die back together because jeff cannot stop snapping it in half

- “why does your dumbass partner always win this is fucking favoritism” “and then jeffery fell off a building and into the ocean 🥰”

- teaches you all you need to know about the game he will sit there for hours if he needs to just talking about the complexity of the rules

- he seems to have a lot of fun with it so everyone tries their best to not break the pieces or punch masky or yell at each other or punch masky

- better with snacks and drinks and lots of breaks so everyone can calm down and at least try to find some joy in the game

- 6/10 experience. would only try again without jeff at the table

homicidal liu:

- among us player… pisses everybody off bc he’s unfortunately very good at it and always imposter

- absolutely kills it (pun intended)

- no mercy he kills everyone including his loved ones this is a battle to the death and he is going to win goddamnit

- being imposter with him is some of the easiest shit bc he will carry the team entirely

- nothing to brag about tho since it’s a little space game and it’s really easy

- always knows who the imposter is if it’s not him he’s got some kind of foresight he will go out of his way to sabotage their chances at winning

- “would you love me more… if i killed someone for you 😇😇” “but you killed ME liu” “whoops”

- will stay with you for most of the game so he has an excuse for being innocent. once you are of no use to him he will stab you in the back

- relatively tame over voice chat. unless his brother happens to be there then it’s just jeff getting pissed off bc he can’t activate the reactor

- wakes you up at 2 am, phone in hand, smile on his face, asking “do you wanna play among us?”

- “liu, shut the fuck up and go back to sleep.” “ok.. :((”

kagekao:

- great at those games you play in your yard like frisbee or tag or hide n seek or maybe darts

- since the bitch can fly and run really fast it’s very unfair he pretty much cheats at everything and he thinks it’s funny

- frisbee with him is a literal field day. throws it so far you can’t find it ever again you’ll just have to buy a whole ass new one

- “what the FUCK kagekao” “🤷”

- laughs and makes fun of you for just not being as skilled as him maybe if you could fly you could beat him just get off the ground dumbass

- also likes to race but we all know how that’s gonna go (hint: he wins)

- unless he’s up against candy pop or something no one else really has a chance at beating him

- might help you a little bit if you’re struggling. like that one time he carried you up into the air and then dropped you because he thought it would be funny but then he couldn’t catch you in time so you ended up falling on lj and breaking one of your arms

- wrote you a little heartfelt letter about it later with a very fancy “sorry ❤️” in calligraphy and a few drawings of flowers (it did not help. your arm was still broken)

- really bad sport does NOT like to lose he will completely shut down

- little fuckin bastard

[artdcnaldson]

Okay, okay- Dilf!Art thoughts I had since like a long time now (And this shit is long as hell and not well written🫣. I’m sorry!!):

Being yet again their plaything but also with a function. Like tennis protege, Junior PR manager, Tashi’s Assistent […]. Being a part of their relationship, motivating Art and working (+good friendship) with Tashi. A dream.

SO in New Rochelle you watch the opponents, analyzing their styles and finding weak spots which could be useful for Art. Also the half finale where Mr. Zweig plays. You’ve only seen him on a few tennis recordings with Art back then.

Super concentrated…you stop writing in your little notebook. Glancing at Patrick: His thighs. His serve. His passion. The biceps. Being in awe. And he notices. How couldn’t he? Sitting straight in the front row, eyes glued to his movements, wearing a crop top and matching tennis skirt on this very hot day, basically open mouth, never seen someone playing tennis like he does before.

He wants you. Now. Giving you his charming grin after scoring an ace. Looking at you before serving or while lifting his shirt to wipe the sweat away. And after winning the game he comes to you.

You blush and one hour later, both of you sit in a cafe. His body leaned forwards, you could smell his shower gel. The cologne. You’re a little shy, I mean you’re Tashi’s and Art’s, aren’t you? But has this triangle a future? However as aroused as both of you were after flirting, slightly touching, eating cake/ice in the most erotic way possible, you just gave him a hug, thanking him for the talk (you asked a lot about his tennis still being Art‘s girl)

And when you arrive at the hotel, Tashi and Art already on the dining table, the ofc ask you where you’ve been. The moment the name “Patrick Zweig” crosses your lips, art let his fork crash on the plate. He may have won some games but he’s under pressure. It’s fucking Zweig. He leaves the table with a tensed jaw. “It’s alright” he says with a cold undertone.

Tashi’s not angry. But kind of determined, disappointed. “There’s no excuse for this kind of behavior.” Telling you how to get Arts confidence up again. “And you better do it right”, she said, leaving the table.

AND THE NEXT DAY, now hear me out, it’s the sauna scene. Patrick and Art are the only players left. So Art’s in the sauna alone. That’s the moment you snuck in. Ofc just with a tiny towel. A cute pink one with tennis balls (cliche haha) which Art bought you some time ago.

He’s ofc surprised and didn’t want to see you at first. But you come closer, letting the towel fall off, leaning forward and searching for his gaze with your big doe eyes. Making him free, touching his thighs and telling him, he’s the only one. The best one. How he makes you feel. That he is fucking Art Donaldson. And you are his.

He can’t. He sinks his fingers in your hips pulling you in. *some hot sauna action. You probably riding him I guess. And afterwards he makes you cum again and slaps you in the ass again when you leave

Leaving just in time before Patrick arrives. And now HEAR ME OUT:

THIS (in this twisted universe) IS THE REASON ART FEELS SO MUCH BETTER THAN PATRICK IN THIS SAUNA SCENE AND IS ALSO ABLITZLW MEAN.

Yeah. So if you’ve read this till now. Wow. 🙈🥹

Can’t say enough, I love your blog cat 💘

LOVE THIS <3 Love sticky throuple dynamics >:) And thank you you’re so sweet!!

But you’re such a good little addition to their marriage— a vehicle for Art to work out his frustrations, his inferiority complex. You look at him like a god, you fuck him like he’s the best you’ve ever had. You’re so good for him, you help Tashi get information on Art’s opponents by researching or watching their matches in person— you’re their favorite toy.

It was a mistake, Tashi knew, to send you to watch Patrick’s match, but she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of watching him play herself, so there you were— sweet, eager to please in the front row, taking notes in a tiny notebook as he and his opponent took to the court. And of course Patrick reeled you in, it wouldn’t been remarkable if he hadn’t. He’s handsome, he’s charming, he invited you to have dinner with him, so you did.

You come back to the hotel smelling like fast food (because dinner had been sitting in the tailgate of his shitty car and sharing Shake Shack that you paid for) and axe body spray, and Art fucking knows. His girl was off with Patrick. Again. The worst fucking case of Deja Vu.

You make it up to him so sweetly, though. Bouncing on his cock in the sauna, not caring if any staff or athletes passing by hear. Proving that all you need is him— his cock, his affection, his love. All yours, the only person in the world you need. You cum so pretty on his cock, milking him, crying out and continuing to grind onto his cock, even as it softens inside of you. You give him a kiss and repeat yourself again. “I only want you, Art.”

When you tug your towel back on and slip into the hallway, Patrick’s grinning at you, and you know he heard everything. Good.

[adachimoe]

If this guy had just been a magician then we wouldn't be dealing with this shit

During one of his Social Link rank ups, Adachi implies some things about his career. I know, I know, he said "I became a cop because GUNS". But also: he's a dumbass.

Thus far, the player has only seen Adachi being a bumbling moron running away from a little old lady at Junes. But we see a side of him we haven't seen before: It turns out that he has sleight of hand and he's quite good at performing magic tricks.

He doesn't think he could have made a living if he had gone into a profession working with his hands, even if he does demonstrate that he's good at it. He does acknowledge that his life might have been different. And when fiction does things like this, we in the audience know that the unspoken implication is that he would be a lot happier this way.

Adachi doesn't exactly try to hide how much he hates his life. But, at the same time, it's not like he tries to do much to change it. Part of it we see in his rank 6 social link when he talks about how "I'm lonely, but it's easier that way". But another part of it is that by being a police officer instead of a magician or something else, he gets to work at a government job. Job security certainly contributes to one's quality of life.

But I think there is something else worth noting about this, and it's based entirely off the year Adachi was born - 1984. (Insert the "literally 1984" calendar meme image here.)

Adachi was born when Japan's economy was flourishing and the Yen was quite strong. Based on the timing, I think his parents had a kid under the assumption that, "Japan is prosperous, the Yen is powerful, things are great, everyone has money, or other valuable assets (stock/land)". If you've played Yakuza 0, this might vaguely sound familiar when it comes to Kiryu's story and his adventures in real estate.

This is a hilariously bad and overly simplified explanation, but it wasn't until the year after Adachi was born when the country and the bank began having economic issues. This eventually lead to the big blow up in the early 90s, stock and real estate nosedived, and the whole country went into a period of economic stagnation called the Lost Decades.

During Japan's period of growth, the country was seen as a powerhouse. My dad remembers when Japanese tourists were traveling all over due to strong yen - really a reversal of how it is now with people flocking to Japan due to how weak it is. People there would get a job and be set for life. While this was thanks to their economy and the assumption that "Wow, we have a lot of $$ in land and/or stocks, things are great", the "hired for life" thing can also be seen as being tied to Japanese labor laws. This changed after the economy exploded, and some companies began taking on temp workers who had less rights and less protections.

If you start to compare Adachi's situation and birth year to the main cast, it's really no wonder they make him so damn mad and frustrated lol.

Yukiko and Kanji can inherit their family businesses. Their families aren't wealthy, but they have stable businesses they operate out of their family homes. They can inherit both land and jobs.

In Yukiko's Social Link, she talks about getting licensed as an interior coordinator as a backup in case the ryokan doesn't work out... Hm, I think learning that she even has options would piss Adachi off further lol.

Naoto I am under the impression is doing well since she already has a career as a detective, plus the backing of her grandfather.

Yosuke's family doesn't own Junes, but his dad is the manager at the Inaba store, and nepotism is a thing. But it seems that he too has options, as in Ultimax, he's going to cram school so he can go to university.

Rise already has a career. Unfortunately, it's part of Japan's terrible and exploitive idol industry.

Even Marie has a career, it seems.

One can assume that if Adachi's parents got on his ass if his grades dropped, then Adachi does not stand to inherit something from his parents (or perhaps their assets lost value?), nor is he already successful.

Chie feels like the outlier here. From what we know about her, her parents don't have a business she can inherit, no famous grandfather, she's not a popular idol, and she doesn't have Main Character privilege. We also know from her Social Link that she wants to become an officer like Adachi.

Really, I think Adachi is too young to have grown up on promises of some kind of prosperous future thanks to Japan's strong economy, merely to have the rug pulled out from under him and have his dreams crushed in 1991 (he'd only be 7, after all). So where Chie might optimistically see the ability to help and protect people as an officer, Adachi might see stability and survival because of his parents and how they raised him and the economic situation.

"Don't be a magician, get a secure job" is something our parents would tell us in the west too, so maybe it doesn't seem that special or related to their economic situation at all. Pretty sure his folks would say it to him even if he was born some 10-15 years earlier. But I think it does help illustrate why he would pick security (or why his parents picked security for him), his failure case (have fun being a replaceable temp worker while waiting for your big break as a magician), and what some of his ire towards the Investigation Team is about (he had to study; why do they get to go kill god after school???). In some ways, he feels like an American millennial whose life was affected by economic circumstance, but everything that comes out of his mouth makes him sound a boomer lol. Get off my dungeon lawn, you damn kids.

[flammingnachos]

“𝘛𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘢 （）𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘫𝘪 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 （𝘔）

𝖲𝗒𝗇𝗈𝗉𝗌𝗂𝗌；After rescuing the Reader from the ocean, Sanji attempts to make her feel comfortable and happy.

．

Darkness.

"Where am I? What happened?" you think, trying to remember something, anything.

Your head is pounding. Water. Wheres the water?

"Think she has any Berries?"

The voice brings you closer to consciousness. "Voices? Am I dreaming?"

"You idiot. Where would she put it?"

"We could...check-"

"Patty, If you aren't the perfect gentleman then I'll personally ensure that the jambalaya has extra sausage tonight."

"Jeez Sanji. You could try."

Such a rough voice.

"Just shut your damn mouth and get her a hot towel."

"Bite my ass."

"Oh I'll bite your ass! Crappy fuck."

You begin to notice the scent. Wow! Like nothing you've ever experienced.

Suddenly your heart drops. This is real. You aren't dead. This is much worse.

Can you escape? Can you even move?

Your eyes flutter open, slowly adjusting to the brightness.

The man is sitting nearby, and appears to be looking your direction. You snap your eyes shut, hoping he didn't see. But the room... It wasn't what you feared. It had shelves and boxes, not how a brig is supposed to look.

Your reverie is interrupted by a door slamming open.

"One hot towel for our wonderful piece of shit chef and his new little girlfriend!" the intruder said in a faux-sweet voice.

"Yeah, thanks. Now buzz off," the guard said.

"Of course, Mon-sewer," he said in that same obnoxious tone before slamming the door shut.

New little girlfriend. The words burned in your head. This was it. Your worst fear has been confirmed.

You have to get ready to act NOW. You move your right arm slightly, then your left. Huh, no chains. They'll regret that mistake.

You hear the footsteps of the guard growing closer, and steel yourself for what you are about to do. When the footsteps stop, you spring into action, opening your eyes and punching at him with all of the power you can muster.

"Woah, Hold on!" he says, barely flinching at your blow.

Terror fills your heart. It didn't phase him at all. You can't hold back tears as you continue to inflict punch after punch on the man.

"I'm not going to hurt you! It's OK!" he insisted, doing little to quell your tears. How could it be ok? How could it ever be OK again? He backs away from your furious assault, and much to your surprise - plops down on the ground. You curl up into a ball, tears flowing freely.

"You alright?" he asks, offering the hot towel to you.

You say nothing. Why should he get the satisfaction?

"It's just a hot towel. Don't worry, Nobody here bites, though it may seem like it."

Why? Why did this happen?

"Are you feeling OK? You were just floating out there, unconscious. We patched up whatever we thought we could."

You look at your right arm, now sporting some bandages. Well, he's not lying.

"This is the Baratie, It's a floating restaurant." The man said in a reassuring tone.

Restaurant? Explains the smell. Thinking about food makes your stomach squeeze. It has to have been days...

"You hungry? I can make you some food, pretty much whatever you like!" He said.

You can't show weakness. "No," you mutter, just loud enough for him to hear.

Despite your resolve, your stomach betrays you, growling loudly. You cringe.

"Sounds like you could use some. Really, what can I get you?"

"I said NO!" you yell, looking up at him angrily.

"Hey-ahhhh...." he said trailing off stupidly. He stares at you with wide eyes, looking absolutely smitten.

You look away.

"Uh, I'm Sanji," he says, bringing back his reassuring tone, trying to maintain composure.

Your fears get the better of you. "What are you going to do with me?" you blurt out.

"Nothing! I'm just trying to make sure you're OK!" Sanji says.

Did he mean that? Your stomach growls again, interrupting your thought.

"Are you comfortable? We keep this cot back here in the secondary storage room for naps.

I can get you something else..." he said.

"I'm fine" you say, beginning to tentatively calm down a bit. "So I can leave?"

"Of course, that door there leads right outside."

Sanji hopped up and opened the door, revealing the bright blue sky and open ocean behind it.

Relief floods your heart. Maybe these aren't the like bad men you've heard so much about.

"I'd be ever so grateful for the opportunity to cook for you before you leave," Sanji said earnestly.

Could you trust him? Would he really leave you unguarded with the door to freedom unlocked?

It may not even matter if you don't eat something soon.

"OK," you say, turning your gaze on him. He is tall, with long legs. Well dressed. His blond hair, while well kept, hung over one eye. His eyebrow swirled upwards like I fancy mustache. Despite the situation, it makes you want to giggle. He seemed to have something in his mouth that was burning. You wonder why.

"Great! Don't worry, beautiful lady, I'll be back in a just a moment!" Sanji said graciously, before bowing and gracefully exiting the room.

"How sweet," you think to yourself. Attractive and charming as he might be, you had other things on your mind.

You jump up from the cot, almost losing your balance from wooziness, and shuffle over to the door. It opened easily, and you stepped outside. The sea air hits you with its warm embrace. There was no trick, you were on a small dock, presumably for restaurant deliveries. You dip your hand into the water. It was completely true, nothing was there to stop you from getting away. Your mind now at ease, you scuffle back inside. The smell hit you again - reminding you of your excruciating hunger. You plop back onto the cot.

You aren't kept waiting long. Sanji strolls in carrying two huge bowls on one arm, a bottle in the other hand, and a basket on his head. He no longer has the weird thing in his mouth. He carefully sets them all down, before pulling out sizable box to use as a table. He sets one of the bowls on the table in front of you. The steam smells so titillating that you began to salivate uncontrollably.

“For you, mademoiselle” he says, flaring his nostrils. “Dinner rolls, and my famous sauteed shrimp and crab on a bowl of fried rice. I figured seafood was a safe bet-”

Before he can finish the thought, you take the fork and begin devouring the breathtaking meal before you. You've never tasted food so good!

Sanji smiles a big smile and sets down the wine bottle with a couple glasses. “And our finest libations. Well, the finest the geezer head chef said we can spare.”

“Mind if I join you?” he asks sheepishly, but somehow spiritedly.

“Mm-Hmm!” you say, overjoyed at the scrumptious meal you are eating. He has to be a decent guy, to treat you like this.

Sanji sits down, grabs his bowl, and begins eating too. He can't seem to resist staring at you every few seconds. You find yourself not minding. Not one bit.

“Oh!” he starts loudly. “My deepest apologies! Let me pour you some wine” he interjects, quickly opening the bottle and pouring out two glasses. The pale gold liquid glistens in the glass.

You feel yourself quickly filling, and begin to slow down, sipping the wine occasionally.

“Not bad, I take it?” Sanji asked, jokingly but with an air of confidence. He took pride in his art. And for good reason!

“This is indescribable!” you say. “I had no idea there was food this good in all the world!”

“Thank you!” He said, blushing bright red, seeming to undulate in his happiness.

You began to blush a little yourself. There was just something about him. He was so charming. Suave and attractive, but also cute and sweet.

“So, uh,” he began, looking away. “What brings you all the way out to the East Blue?”

East Blue. You're far from home. “I remember I was out swimming and a Sea-king showed up. Looked like a giant dolphin. It got me before I could react. I can usually out swim them, but I didn't notice until it was too late,” you explain, as understanding begins to fill his eyes. “The last thing I remember was being chewed by the monster. I thought I was dead for sure. I can't believe I made it out in one piece.”

“You're said it was a dolphin?” Sanji said incredulously. “Our Maitre D' swore he saw a colossal dolphin breaching about a day ago. Nobody believed him because he's an idiot. Maybe it shot you out of its blowhole?”

“I guess so. Anything is possible at this point, I suppose,” you say, scarcely believing your own story.

“That's so incredible! But I'm so glad you're safe,” he says, turning on his charm again.

It works. You can't help it. No one has ever been so sweet to you, no one has ever looked at you like this...

“Thanks,” you say, blushing deeply. You fight off the thoughts that are occurring. The desires. You want to thank him...

“And thank you, for the food!” you blurt out. It is quite clear that you are flustered.

“You are quite welcome, my sweet!” Sanji says, giving a charming smile and flaring his nostrils.

“My sweet,” he called you. The desires grow stronger. You want to kiss him. To have him in your arms, or to be in his.

He stands up, and picks up the empty bowls. Your heart sinks. He has to go back. He's probably wasted enough time back here.

“Leaving?” you ask, dejection sneaking into your tone.

Picking up on this, Sanji smiles sweetly and says “Don't worry, I'll be right back.”

You smile back at him, your eyes twinkling. “OK!” you say, a little too eagerly. You feel embarrassed. Sure he was smooth, and a total sweetheart, but is this all really necessary?

He smiled a wider, goofier smile, and walked out of the room with a bounce in his step.

The minutes feel like hours as you wait for his return. Why is he so important all of a sudden? Why do you want so badly to wrap your body around him and cover him in kisses? What would your friends say? More importantly, could you flirt back? Should you flirt back? Where would it lead? You flop around on the cot and bury your face in the pillow, your face glowing red.

The door bursts open, you look up expectantly. A tall, buff, bald man is standing there. NOT Sanji. “Pardon me, Madame Freeloader, his royal highn-ass asked me to tell you he got held up in the kitchen. He'll be back shortly,” he said, with the same rough faux-sweet voice as before.

“Uh, thanks,” you stammer, as the man leaves, slamming the door behind him. How disappointing.

A few minutes (or perhaps lifetimes) later, The door opens to reveal Sanji, smile on his face and yet another bowl in his hand. “One cinnamon cheesecake sundae, for the ravishing beauty on the cot.”

That does it. Nothing can stop your newfound passion for this sweet talker.

“Oh my!” you exclaim, at a loss for further words. That dessert looks lovely, but you have something else in mind. As he approaches, you work up the courage to scoot over and pat the cot, gesturing for him to sit beside you.

Sanji, looking overjoyed and a little woozy, happily obliges. You take the sundae and begin to eat, trying to not visibly react to his presence. You decide this is a good time to try to flirt, and turn towards him as you begin to lick the ice cream off of your lips. You let out a little moan for good measure, but can't help but blush at your own brazenness.

Despite feeling a little silly, it seems to have been quite effective, so you decide to put a hand on his leg.

“That was so very good,” you say, “Thank you for taking such good care of me.”

“O-o-of course!” he managed to stutter out. How cute. You can barely contain yourself.

You decide to take the plunge, and lean in to give him a kiss on the cheek. Your desire burns even hotter as you watch his face redden, and you decide to go further, kissing him on the neck. Sanji meets your eyes, and you know that it's now or never. You reach up and ever so gently grab his head, and lean up to give him a full kiss right on the lips. You can't stop here. You need it. You keep kissing. He lets out a small moan, and kisses back, reaching up and mirroring your motion, gently grabbing your head.

“It's not too late to back out now,” you tell yourself, but there is no need. You don't want to back out. You allow yourself to fall backwards onto the cot, pulling him with you. No resistance is put up. You kiss him deeply as you writhe around together on the cot, entwined together, allowing the fire that is welling up inside you to dictate your actions.

Sanji seems hesitant to escalate things, so you decide to take his arms and place them on your breasts, underneath your beaten up shirt. This seems to delight him as he begins to playfully squeeze them. You can feel his heart beat. Very fast. Glad to know that he's enjoying himself. As if any further proof was necessary, it begins to become painfully clear that his cock had become quite hard for you. Feeling his bulging causes your brain to go into overdrive. It feels like bolts of lightning inside your breasts and nether regions.

The thought of his phallus, this growing bulge in his pants drives you to go further, further then you've ever gone before. You break the kiss and pull back, admiring his highly aroused expression. “I know how I can thank you,” you say. Yes, this will reward him for his thoughtfulness, but is that the reason why, or your own lust? You slide down onto the floor, your hands playfully caressing his crotch. Undoing his pants is difficult, so he breathlessly helps out, and you soon have them pulled down. His throbbing cock pops right out, and you admire it shyly, your eyes twinkling. You knew about them, but have never seen one in person before. It's bigger then you imagined, must have felt so trapped in those tight pants. The smell was a little musky, but smelled of aftershave. Very pleasant.

You lightly touch it with your hand, and Sanji shivers. Having such a beautiful man quiver at your touch gives you just the confidence you need to give it a taste, sticking your tongue out and slowly licking its underside, from base to tip. The taste was sweet and masculine at the same time. You lick your lips before repeating the lick several times, while carefully watching his reaction. You made sure he had a good view as you licked at it, driving him absolutely wild. You began licking the underside of the tip, right where he released the strongest signals. Sanji let out a soft moan. Satisfied, you begin swirling your tongue on the area, making him squirm around in pleasure.

Your own cravings for his cock become uncontrollable, and you slowly take him into your mouth. It fills up quickly, and you begin to bob up and down on it, swirling your tongue around on his sensitive spot. It feels like heaven as his sizable girth throbs inside of your mouth. Sanji attempts to stifle his moans, but they still come out as soft whimpers. You smile, happy to know that you're doing a good job. You desire so badly to please him, to please him more than he has ever been pleased before. You need his seed.

Before he can grow accustomed to your mouth, you decide to push it further. You take him in even deeper, slowly entering the tip of your throat.

“Oh!” he blurts, half moaning. It isn't easy, but it is a worthy cause. You press on, and it isn't long before he begins to succumb to your efforts, breathing faster and throbbing harder.

“I-I'm going t-to-” Sanji says, half crazed looking. You lock your eyes onto his and make the cutest face you can. You don't really know what to expect, despite knowing the biology of the situation. You know you are about to receive his seed, right into your mouth. You maintain eye contact and swirl your tongue around the sensitive spot as he loses control, bursting into your mouth. Burst after burst of his hot cum come forth into your eager mouth as you happily lick his pleased cock, thoroughly proud of your efforts. Swallowing is easy, you crave his pleasure and only want more.

When you are sure he is finished cumming, you pull his cock out and let him watch you lick your lips once more.

“Did that feel good?” you ask smugly, smiling at him.

“Thank...You...” he answered, looking absolutely dazed.

“You are very welcome,” you say with a giggle, satisfied with the results of your ministrations.

Watching his erection slowly wane only causes your own loins to ache with desire, wishing they could have him inside.

“I've never done anything like that before. I hope it was a memorable experience for you,” you say, your shyness beginning to return a bit.

“Incredibly so. This is a first for me, too!” he dazedly utters, struggling to come back to the world of the living.

You giggle softly. You were his first blowjob too. It feels nice knowing that neither of you had experience in such an act, he had no expectations for you to live up to.

You lie down beside him, giving him another kiss before running your fingers through his blond hair, stroking him lightly. Laying down next to him is so peaceful that you could fall asleep, especially after all the food, were it not for your own unquenched desires.

“Do you mind if I ask you a question?” Sanji asks suddenly, breaking the minutes of silence.

“Of course not,” you respond, curious what he may ask of you.

“Well, uh..” he begins, looking away with a sort of embarrassed look on his face.

“This is personal, I know, so it's OK if you don't want to answer..” he says, looking back at you sheepishly. Your reassuring smile lets him know it is OK.

“I've always wondered...How you guys, ya know...” He trailed off, red in the face.

Redness covers your face as well, and you quietly ponder how to answer.

“Sorry, that was stupid!” he quickly apologizes, looking flustered.

“No no, It's fine!” you quickly respond. You don't mind his curiosity, and your desire burns hot, begging for you to show him.

“I don't know how different it is from human women,” you say, face still glowing red.

“Really?” he asks incredulously, “but...how?”

“I..Haven't had any experience with it myself, besides just touching the...outside,” you explain, blushing deeper still. “When we get aroused with someone we love, the entrance sort of...opens a bit, allowing it to be spread.”

“Wow...” he says in a breathless voice after a few moments have passed. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Would you... like to see?” you ask, looking away from him as a surge of fire fills your loins.

“I'd love to!” he quickly says, sporting an excited tone.

Now it was his turn to move to the floor, which he did in one smooth motion.

All kinds of dirty thoughts fill your mind as you reach down to the base of your tail, running your fingers across it towards your most intimate area. It spreads apart easily, scales pulling back to reveal beautiful pink flesh.

Your desires driving you wild, you motion for his hand and guide it towards your vagina. It is already soaking wet for him.

Sanji lets out an excited sound as his fingers come into contact with you. He looks as though he may pass out from excitement. You giggle lightly, pleased.

He begins to lightly run his fingers over you, and you let out a small moan and thrust your hips at him, clearly displaying your intentions. The world stands still as he obliges, carefully thrusting a finger inside. Immediately, he pulls it back out, causing your desire to spike like pouring oil on a fire.

“Woah! It does feel just like a human's!” he says incredulously, staring at you with a dumb smile.

“Do you feel many humans' vaginas?” you ask, just a hint of jealousy in your voice.

“Not at all! Only once ever, really-” Sanji quickly begins to explain, but you smile at him and guide his hand back towards your wet entrance, effectively cutting him short. He is with you now and that is what matters.

He begins to move his finger around inside you, dancing it across your hallowed walls, causing your back to arch in pleasure. You've never been penetrated with anything before, you couldn't imagine a more skillful debut.

You feel yourself reacting strongly as his motion continues, the pleasure mounting and building up to extreme levels. Sanji, picking up on your signals, slowly enters a second finger into you, and the pleasure skyrockets.

It isn't long before you feel your whole body tighten up as the pleasure reaches the maximum you can stand.

“Cum for me!” he commands with a smirk, and your whole body surrenders into a violent, shaking orgasm, coating his hand in your juices as your vagina throbs and squeezes his fingers.

“Oooh!” you moan loudly, bucking and shaking, feeling the joy of your sweet release.

When your throbbing stops, he slowly slides his finger out of you, careful to stimulate just the right spots on their way out, just enough to make you want more.

“How was that?” Sanji said with a very satisfied smirk on his face.

Your response is unintelligible, the world is not real anymore.

You feel yourself slipping into sweet peaceful sleep. Never have you felt so good in your entire life.

---------

You feel a soft touch on your tail, near your hips. You open your eyes to see Sanji, sweetly stroking you while burning that thing in his mouth.

“Sleep good?” he asked with a huge grin.

“Yes,” you tell him as the memory of a few minutes ago came flooding back.

“I had to go finish my shift, but don't worry. I made sure nobody even looked back here. The old geezer said that you were a special guest, and that nobody else was to get any ideas about bothering you under any circumstances. There are some greedy assholes here, but nobody would dream of disobeying a direct order,” Sanji explained, as you sat up.

The light from the window had vanished, indicating that night has come.

“So,” he continued, “You're welcome to stay the night, if you'd like.”

“Thank you,” you say sweetly, “You've done so much for me.” You consider his offer. You may be the fastest swimmer out there, but you have been caught by a Sea-king once before, and traveling at night is never preferable anyway.

“It was my pleasure, my sweet,” Sanji says graciously, flaring his nostrils slightly. “And as luck would have it,” he continues, “Our course has us set to travel to the Southernmost point of our rotation tomorrow.”

“Then I'd be happy to take you up on that,” you say, giving him a big smile, twinkling your eyes.

“Splendid!” he exclaims as he gets up, “I'd love to make you some breakfast in the morning, and of course, whatever provisions you will need for your trip!”

“Sounds wonderful!” you say, pure happiness filling you.

“Then I will look forward to seeing your beautiful face in the morning, Goodnight my sweet!” Sanji seems to sing as he bounces towards the door.

“Goodnight!” you respond with a giggle. What a kind, caring man.

You feel your desire growing again as you think back on the day. If you have any say in the matter, you'll have to find some special way to say goodbye before you leave.

You can't help but smile as you drift off to sleep, with the dim lantern flame glowing softly on the wall. You wonder if you will ever meet anyone like him again, or if he is the kindest person you will ever find. The thought of leaving, perhaps never to see him again was a sad thought, but you miss your home. Your family and friends are probably worried sick about you, little do they know that you found a great treasure of the ocean: the sweetheart of a man who spends his days sailing on the sea, cooking food for the hungry.