#wtf did andrew do though

[princessanneftw]

Hardest working royals of 2023 revealed

Princess Anne tops list with more than 450 engagements with the King also increasing his time spent at public events

Patrick Sawer, Senior News Reporter and Hannah Furness, Royal Editor for The Telegraph

Princess Anne was the hardest working royal this year, carrying out 457 engagements as she lent steadfast support to her brother in his role as monarch.

The King was ranked in second place, having taken part in 425 royal engagements, while his brother the Duke of Edinburgh was third, with 297 engagements.

The Queen was fourth with 233 royal engagements and the Duchess of Edinburgh fifth with 219.

An analysis by The Telegraph of public events and official meetings based on entries published in the Court Circular showed that the Princess Royal continued to be the most industrious member of the family.

Princess Anne and the King were among members of the Royal family to increase their workload over the past year, after taking on many of the duties and engagements previously conducted by the late Queen Elizabeth.

A separate analysis last year by Reboot SEO company showed that Princess Anne carried out 214 royal engagements, while the King took part in 181.

In a typical average week this year, Princess Anne undertook between 12 and 14 engagements.

Her busiest month was February, when the Princess Royal undertook 57 engagements, which included trips to Australia and New Zealand.

Richard Fitzwilliams, a royal commentator and former editor of The International Who’s Who said: “Anne is one of the best advertisements for the Royal family because she is hardworking, she is dedicated and she is popular because people look at the way she handles things and they like it.

“The public see Anne as someone who is grounded, I think the institution does need her very much.”

The King’s workload over the past 12 months included a state visit to France in September as well as his own Coronation on May 6.

Some of his busiest days have involved back-to-back meetings at Buckingham Palace with ambassadors and other dignitaries and politicians, while the King has also undertaken numerous smaller-scale engagements in the community, visiting local projects and businesses.

Typical of this was his visit to the Broke Not Broken charity in Kinross in September, where he viewed its food bank store, and vegetable garden and met volunteers and members of staff, before visiting an art exhibition and a day centre.

The Court Circular shows that over the past 12 months both the Prince of Wales and the Duke of Gloucester carried out 172 royal engagements each.

The Princess of Wales undertook 128 and the Duchess of Gloucester 111. The Duke of Kent carried out 69 engagements.

An analysis of the number and type of royal engagements raises questions about the future of the monarchy, with the Prince and Princess of Wales taking a very different approach to that of the older generation.

The majority of day-to-day engagements are now carried out by those well into or approaching retirement age, with the Duchess of Edinburgh now 58 and the Duke of Edinburgh turning 60 next year.

The Waleses have deliberately chosen to focus on fewer patronages, hoping to use their power to shine a light on issues close to their hearts to make a bigger difference.

Traditionalists have raised questions over who will pick up the numerous daily visits around the country in the newly slimmed down monarchy with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex departed and the children of the Princess Royal, Duke of York and Duke of Edinburgh not working members of the family.

Dickie Arbiter, the royal commentator who was press spokesman for Queen Elizabeth from 1988 until 2000, said Princess Anne provided invaluable support to the King.

“She just gets on with it, often carrying out multiple engagements in one day,” he said.

“Of course much of what the King does is behind the scenes, in meetings and going through his red boxes, which doesn’t warrant a mention in the Court Circular.”

Mr Arbiter added: “Anne is a tremendous support to the King. He bounces ideas off her. For an ageing monarchy they are doing pretty well.”

[achillesinagaypanic]

I will add myself to the AFTG clutter, well after the trilogy is done:

Currently on TRK after finishing TFC in 2 days, I am hopeful to continue my quick reading. Some notes on my read so far:

I am having a hell of a laugh reading out all of Jean's dialogue with a french southern accent because peuchère il est marseillais le peutchi

I am also crying at the littlest things, like the showers in the first away-game against the terrapins (which I was surprised to discover is apparently a turtle??) But big events leave me indifferent (like Seth, but I think that was meant to be seeing as Neil had about the same reaction) or numb and in shock (like learning Neil BELONGS TO THE MORIYAMAS??? HELLO???? I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING????)

I should be doing homework. I am not. I will get in trouble. But at least I'll know how this all ends. I love theatre but the power of Adhd hyperfixation is stronger than me </3

I am VERY AFRAID to interact with fandom because I don't want to get spoiled (looking at you, dr who hyperfixation where I know way too much because of AO3) but I will be glad to update to you all my reactions through text as I read through this (though I will slide over most of the "I wish I could go in there and hold/punch him/her"s and "Omg he's so fucking hot"s)

Every character of the team is so fucking attractive and I was 100% shaming myself for my reaction when Kevin full-body-pinned Neil against the wall. 1/2 of my thoughts and reactions are "when is it my turn" or "omg let's switch places".

I was extremely worried when Neil woke up in Nicky's arms after having been drugged because like ???? Did they do anything ????? But then realized that Nicky would do no such thing, despite repeatedly talking about it.

The girls have all my love, seriously, Dan is wonderful as a captain AND as a friend, Renee is so nice I aspire to have her self-control, Allison needs a hug.

ALSO!!! IN THE SHIPS!!! (Because I did discover this off of a gay edit between Andrew and Neil "Yes or no Neil? / It's always yes with you") I fucking love that I can ship Andrew, Neil and Kevin interchangeably. Like, Guard dog and Hurt runaway? Fuck yes. Famous but kept captive and Underdog but free? You got it. Anxiety ball and Dangerous but somehow reassuring? Give me all of it.

OKAY now I need to let my newfound knowledge sink in because wtf was that conversation (Neil and Kevin about the whole lore thing), thank you for reading my thoughts as an excited first-time reader

[girlonthefireescape]

I finally got to see All of Us Strangers last night, and I went from HUH. OKAY?? to WT actual F over the course of a few hours and am now at a mixture of HUH. OKAY?? and WTF, I think.

I think what it comes down is: This wasn't the tragedy I expected and definitely not the one I wanted??

Like, I went into this knowing the few Harry/Adam scenes you get in gifs sets (I skipped the ones with Adam's parents because that seemed too spoilery! LOL) and the bits you get from official summaries -- like that the parents are dead/ghosts/what have you.

And then I got to the point in the movie at which I thought, well, is everyone a ghost/dead then? And then we got to the ending and that penultimate scene -- after we'd resolved the bit with the parents -- and it was like, surely not? They're surely not actually gonna go there? And then they did, and I didn't even know what to do with that, but it still wasn't unexpected -- not really? The unexpected bit was more the fact that it was actually the thing that happened. And then the gut punch I didn't even think about as an option was the reveal that not only had he been dead the whole time but no, the key moment and turning point was that first meeting, and I now have 6 pages of notes app notes that I wrote down on my journey home from the cinema, so I can discuss this with my friend once she's seen it and to make sense of my thoughts and feelings, and I still don't know what I'm supposed to do with this movie and this ending now! (Side note: Although writing this really helped?? lol)

Kudos to the entire cast, though! I love Andrew Scott's work, anyway, and I thought his performance felt beautifully stripped back and bare and honest. And I was really intrigued by Paul Mescal. I'd seen him (obv) in Normal People (which wasn't really my favourite show) and The Lost Daughter (I'd forgotten he was even in it until recently), but he didn't really stick with me in terms of his performance or the roles I'd seen him in. But this felt so different and like he threw himself so into that character that wasn't even in that many scenes, he really disappeared into the part for me. I also found that character so interesting, especially in retrospect, because while Harry represented a different generation (loved that bit, especially the discussion of queer vs. gay), his purpose in the narrative was also to be there for Adam. And then the bit at the end when we learn that Adam could've been there for him -- but also couldn't be. Or rather, Harry needed someone to be there for him, and he reached out (had the courage or maybe desperation to) and no one reached back.

That bit where Adam told him in the end that he hadn't been ready to or couldn't let him in like, obviously on the metaphorical level. But it also made me think about it at the level of well, this is a drunk stranger standing in front of your door saying weird things, and you're the only two people in the building. Like, is this a threat? Depends on which genre we're in. Which now reminds me of... Was it a tweet or a post on here or general writing advice? The bit where the characters don't know which genre they're in, so they're not necessarily acting in accordance with the genre guidelines. Like, is this a meetcute or is this person going to rob and/or murder you? Anyway...

I haven't really read any of the reviews yet or watched the actors talk about the movie, so I don't now how we all feel about the question of ghosts vs. hallucinations (vs. dreams vs. at some point I thought about whether this was all part the story/script Adam was writing). And I don't know if it actually matters what they were.

I knew there would be tragedy in this because of the few vague reactions I'd seen, but I expected it to be in the relationship with the parents and not the romance. That subversion! (Was it really one?) Although, the tragedy wasn't even necessarily in the romance but in the figure of Harry in the end? Or emotionally, that's where I was, anyway. The way Adam lost his parents but got to 'resolve' his conflict with them while Harry's parents were still alive but he might as well have been a ghost. Also, the bit where he was a ghost to his family but very visible and corporeal to Adam!

I just read a post that mentioned that different people would take different things from this movie, and that's always so interesting. It reminds me of how different people took different things from Poor Things, which I saw only a couple of weeks ago and ended up being really annoyed with.

I didn't cry at the ending. It happened so fast and was so expected but unexpected -- the ominous music in that scene and also in earlier scenes?? I didn't even have time to process this in order to have a reaction. I did tear up at the Christmas scene, though. The relationship between Adam and his parents, especially with his dad, felt really true and honest and recognisable, especially given the 80s context.

I even laughed a few times now that I think about it! And I think the entire theatre had a (maybe relieved) chuckle when Adam and his dad had muddled their way through the stereotype discussion and in the end agreed that no, Adam can indeed not throw for shit.

I think I'll probably need to see this again at some point. I read this article on how Disney (in line with the streamers in general) wants to stop selling physical media and how this might affect a DVD release, and oh, fuck that. Give us the DVD! I want to put this on my shelf!

[sunnyupsidedown]

Thoughts On: The Sunshine Court

by Nora Sakavic [goodreads]

Aka, if I didn't put myself on a social media blackout, these would have been my live tweets. Spoilers below.

Gosh. What if Jeremy starts to hate Kevin for not doing 'enough' to help Jean. That’d probably hurt him so bad lmao Though I don't really thing Jeremy gives off those vibes. He's too sunny.

Also, now I’m thinking of Jeremy being a very normal kid with a normal background completely unprepared to help someone with absolutely massive amounts of trauma. Like. This kid being like, look at my normal jock life and then suddenly is exposed to the dark underbelly of organized crime.

Like. With Andrew and Neil, Neil was already familiar and Andrew at least is familiar with how bad law enforcement is so it’s all a non-issue. Jeremy though… what’s his story???

Jean over here probably texting with T9 on a flip phone

Which fox uses T9, which one taps the number until it gets to the letter they want, and which one has a phone with a keyboard?

Have I mentioned that I love Renee? I feel like she’s often seen as an uwu good girl Christian. But like. She’s so badass. I think she said it herself that she’s a bad person doing her best to be good and you really get that with the “smile that doesn’t reach her eyes”. Fucking love her.

Okay the uni president thing is actually kind of funny. Because I work in an athletic department and it reminds me of when the president requested access to the team practice schedules so I was in charge of setting up an account in our messaging app with the instructions to grant him access but with absolutely no power to do anything else

Do you think Renee will put "Destabilized Evermore leading to its eventual downfall" on her resume when she applies to the Peace Corps? I know this is not how it works but....

We’re going to see the reaction to Riko’s death from Jean’s POV!!! I wrote a ficlet about this!! It’s gonna be so cool to see what really happens!!

Wtf Jean’s 19?!?!

I'm saying this like everything that happened to him wouldn't have been just as horrifying if he were Kevin's age. But like. WTF??? He's Neil's age!!

LMAO everyone wants to choke Kevin out

“You were injured in a scrimmage” DAMN. I did not expect that from Abby. She's so done with Jean's evasions

I was being kind of mean to Kevin earlier and now I’m going to cry. He was just doing his best too :( what can you do when you’ve been raised in the system?

Kevin, Neil, and Jean are in the idiot exy trio

It’s so fascinating to know that this was the version where Jean lived because you can see the parts where his life could have ended. Like if Abby left the pills. If Jean made it back to Evermore. If Wymack didn’t threaten Tetsuji.

The way that they’re (Neil is) playing 5D exy mafia chess is so extra 😭

Everyone really looking to Neil for their courage. Neil was brave so I can be brave (or at least follow him). What would Neil do?

Do you think the other exy coaches know exy was built on blood? Or at least that Evermore was?

Jean and Kevin in the corner at the party full of Ravens: They don’t know the extent of Riko’s violence

I’m starting to realize that Jean is a lover... [Redacted: This is getting it's own post because I have feelings about this.]

JEREMY!! HELLO!! I DON'T KNOW YOU. ARE YOU DEPRESSING TOO?

Jeremy is so normal. This is going to be so good. He’s literally going to be like “why did you say it like that? You know that’s fucked up right?” Call it like it is my dude!!

How the hell did they get the seniors on board with a smaller line up? They’re giving up a chance at a championship run... Ah.

Oh. He’s rich?? Jeremy is rich? With a butler? Is he secretly going to be tied to the west coast mafia? And taking Jean on will create a bond between east and west?

OH HE’S POLITICIAN RICH. Damn. You know there's blood money somewhere

Are you telling me that the sunshine court is a nickname between Kevin and Jean (and maybe some others? I don't remember if it was ever mentioned in the other books) for USC? And it’s typically called the Gold Court? Cause if so, they’re soooo starved

Do you think Jean knows (or remembers) how to use money? Since he’s been locked up in the Nest for so long? How many social norms has he forgotten? How awkward is he going to be relearning them?

Oh god. Jean found out from Jeremy! Holy shit I was not expecting that. Damn. Also. He's alone :(

Renee and Jean 😭

I’m so glad they talked about redshirting. I was SO confused why they could go five years when the rule is 5 years to compete 4 seasons.

Radiology equipment in their exy stadium?? Man I forget how rich some schools are

Watch Jean break out in hives the moment he gets on clothes that are outside the monochrome color scheme

Oooo Jeremy, show me your spine. I want to see him mad. I want to see him lose control.

And then I forgot I was taking notes because I was too absorbed. When is the next book supposed to come out again?

[struggles-and-prose]

WTF is wrong with Hamish Linklater

Ok, so when I discover a new actor or actress that captivates me, I binge watch a bunch of things they've been in. Lately, it's been Hamish Linklater.

Although this 6'4" tall dude looks pretty sweet and innocent, do not let that fool you. Oh no, that was a HUGE mistake on my part ! Saw him in Midnight Mass 1st, and though he does do some pretty fucked up shit, he seems pretty oblivious to what he's actually doing to his community and what is actually happening around them all. So, in my opinion, that innocent looking face of his fits pretty well with the character, even adding a pinch of creepiness to Father Paul's persona. He thinks he's doing the right thing and is so passionate about it, but yet, too much of a blind fanatic to even notice the harm he's doing to others.

I mean come on ! Does he look like the type of dude that would even hurt a fly ? XD He's only trying to do good in his community, that's all ! x)

He welcomes them with open arms and says good morning, ...

he's a good listener,…

he preaches about love and loves to sing,...

he ask's if they need help and tells them when he's proud of them,...

he promises shit he can't but apologizes,...

he's up and about and wants to be left alone,...

he lies and apologizes again,...

and they all live happily ever after-ish. XD (Yeah, i had to put a crap tons of Gifs XD) You know, normal creepy pastor type of shit ! XD Doesn't change that he's trying to be a good man even if I found him to be a bit dumb on that part, but still. But not before being an absolute creep of a man. XD

Da fuck are you trying to do there buddy ?! :D Wtf is wrong with your dumbass ?! :D You disturbing fuck ! XD

All jokes aside, I absolutely loved him in Midnight Mass and I'll have to watch it again, because, that shit was amazing.

Though he was perfect for Father Paul's character, his innocent face does a better job in an innocent role like Andrew Keanelly in the mini series The Crazy Ones, playing along side this legend of a man, Robin Williams (miss that man honestly <3). Better job as in his innocence fits much more for this nerdy dude. Don't get me wrong, it added the perfect amount of creepiness to Midnight Mass.

Look how charming he is lol. I liked him in this role, since it's suits him so well. The perfect innocent nerd.

I mean come on, look how adorable he is lol. Who doesn't love a handsome nerd !

Another role that fitted him well was the one and only Jeb Magruder from the mini series Gaslit. His innocence, mixed with this long legged idiot is perfect lol.

Though is blue contact lenses did kinda give me the creeps. XD But hey, he does the role perfectly and I thought he was hilarious. I still can't get over his face when he tells those FBI agents that he's gonna "fuck them". XD Just look at this nervous fuck ! XD

But then, upon his numerous perfect performances, I stumbled onto this mini series called Tell Me Your Secrets. And holy mother of God was he ever so excellent there.

Look at this fucking creep spying on you through your window. And yeah, I hear you say "But Chloe, look how adorable he looks!" Yeah, no ! This twisted little fucker may look handsome when he's not a fucking psychopath, but this, this is a whole new level of fucked up. I just feel like punching him in the goddamn throat ffs ! XD

"But Chloe, he's so sexy !" Nay nay I say ! XD What the fuck kind crack are you on ? XD (Yeah, sorry, I'm getting a bit overwhelmed over here XD) Regardless of the fact that some women fantasize about this, Idk why, you do you, he creeps me the fuck out.

That fucker looks like an absolute psycho with that twisted smile and still, his damn so innocent looking face ! I literally can't get over this shit honestly. XD It just works so well with the character. A bit too well if you ask me !

Da fuck are you doing there man ?!? Why must you destroy your friendly innocent self like this ? Why you do this to me Hamish ?! XD Plus, that fucking spit scene made me fucking gag. XD I hate spit on a whole new level, or any bodily fluids for that matter, that it made me vomit a bit in my mouth. Yeah, that sounds lovely doesn't it ! :D XD

Anyways, I'm getting a bit carried away now lol. But needless to say that I've watched TMYS twice so far and will probably watch it again, because I thought this was his best role yet. Despite the fact that this fucker creeps me the fuck out, like dude gave me nightmares ffs. XD I just think he does it so well and that, again, repeating myself, his innocence and his friendly looking face adds a lot more creepiness to the character and that's just fucking amazing if you ask me. I think any role he does is perfectly made to be fair. In Dead For A Dollard for instance, with that sick look mustache lol. He wasn't there a lot, but he was awesome.

I rarely get obsessed like this over actor's performance. Yeah, I have actors that I love and admire and love what they bring to their characters. But nothing like what Mr. Linklater over here. The fact that he makes every role he does fit so well with him is just, wow ! He brings a whole new level of fucked up to fucked up in TMYS.

Look at this SOB. XD He's fucking creeping me out for the love of God ! XD Honestly scares the shit out of me. ! I think if I'd meet him irl, I'd freaking shit myself ! XD I've never been so creeped out by an actor like this before ! XD

Anyways, hope y'all enjoyed my massive review/rant on Hamish Linklater. Love the dude, he's amazing. Scares me, but still amazing lol.

[the1weepinqguitar]

tally hall sketches and other assorted doodles

Here ya go guys! I also have improvement pics from last year! Almost two years in the Tally Hall fandom! Woohoo! My Marvin's CD is gonna hate me even more after all of this

A Ross sketch! I'm super proud of how it turned out! Below is a close-up!

The aforementioned close-up, showing the shading on his face and the folds of his sleeve!

Zubin! I love the side profile, and I used his picture in the MMMM booklet as a reference! Close up below, so you can see some of the more fine details/shading

the close-up!

Here's Andrew! His hair is kinda hard to not fluff-ify, but I dealt with it anyways and tried my best to keep it close to reality. Obligatory close(r)-up below.

next will be some other random stuff, mostly tally hall, but some of it is oc art

drew this drawing of Ross last September. Not amazing but very stylized, which I love/hate. the tag on the bottom left reads, "he's rather disheveled but this is the best I could do back then"

wtf is he doing? He in an action movie or something? btw this was last-year's andrew. very stylized. i hate it.

decided not to include the other last-year Rob cause i hate it deeply. this one's much better. very fluffy. i dont like the collar tho

just me poking fun at my horrendous attempts at stylizing joe. im not gonna draw him as much as the others btw.

This is from an au created by @bonkdd, but i did rob and andrew's designs bc i never saw his designs for them. i also added a lot of lore and plot stuff because i really liked the concept. in simple terms the tallies are robots that were abandoned by Marvin after he passed away so now they're falling apart n stuff without him to care for them (that's why rob hides his face). Anyways, huge thanks to Bonk for the original idea! They're a great artist, you should go check them out!

Edith, drawn/sketched with a ballpoint pen.

Another one. I like this one better, but I spent two days on this one versus a half on hour on the other so i guess it makes sense

Adrian and Reuben (OCs), done in a college-ruled notebook bc i ran out of pages in my sketchbook. next is a close-up so you can see more shading.

probably my favorite gay couple i've ever written ngl

Ace again, but wearing Reuben's favorite sweater.

Looking mighty fine!

He's lookin' tough, he's got the stuff, he's got the spiffy shades... (/lyric)

pose practice

Boll weevil, why don't you get out of your home? (/lyric)

old art jumpscare - i actually kinda like this one, might redraw it. Below is the full thing

why is zubes staring like that??? its creepy

here's another. i don't know why it's sideways. andrew is scared of joe btw, this isn't the entire drawing

Did an embossing peice. It's the Mojo Chessmaster! I tried by best to make it as detailed as possible, and I think I did pretty alright. The neck was probably the worst part to do. Below are close-ups

the head of the guitar was a pain in the ass.

This part was also pretty tricky but it came out okay. the dials at the bottom are raised as much as I could get them to go, so I'm not worried about them. My issue here was the pickups.

I also added Flansburgh's little signature guy but i drew his hair because why not? Anyways this piece took me a good hour or so to finish, I think it'll fetch a good grade (it was for my metal design class).

I'll add a sketch I just did as a bonus:

it's from a tally hall fanfic/au i made back in may after my grandpa passed away. It was a great stress-reliever and I still really like how it turned out. It's about cryptids and monsters and shit. I'll post a summary on a different post because this one was mostly for the drawings. I might post a few installments of it on my ao3. It could be a weekly thing since i usually have time on fridays to write.

Once again, a close-up is available below.

I put literal hours of research on cryptids and of the area (ann harbor, MI) while writing this fic. It was fun though, and it helped me a lot. Feel free to ask me anything about the plot or world-building !

[horror102]

Pursuit of happiness

TW: Cam girl, Angst, Stalking, Failure, trauma

Sexual intent, manipulation, masturbation

Featuring Joe Goldberg with a person he cannot figure out.

There she was, almost like destiny. She's nervous, looking at her jittering fingers, she takes a step to the romance aisle. Dark romance fantasy I'm about to be the man of your dreams. Two steps, one step and pow.

“Oh I'm so sorry!” she replied quite quickly, embarrassed knowing this will be burned in her memory at such a price.

“Oh please, we both know it was my fault." I joked I want you to feel at ease, talk to me. Let me know if I hit the jackpot baby. She chuckled, such a snotty laugh, cute even.

“Dark romance?”

“Yes.”

Another quick answer, losing her God I'm losing her.

“Now the best option would be romantic grays, though everyone is into that vampire series now.” I scoffed at letting her fingertips grave against mine hearing her let out a fake laugh to extort conversation,

“God, Twilight is horrible, they look like medieval creeps!”

She laughed, her shoulders fell back, teeth flashed. It was a genuine joke. Growing comfortable. Make your move joe, make your move.

“Almost as if he's covered in ashes!”

I joked, quickly I realized I messed up, he's a vampire dummy. Of course he'll be pale. You work at a bookstore Joe get it together. Rail her in. I had to almost curse myself listening to her fake little giggle.

Woah there, she placed her phone on a bookshelf, Bingo! When leaning on it I swiped it up. Making sure she was bending down to get a book, her loose genes and curved hoody smelled like pineapples, freshly washed, ironed, and linted. I watched her walk toward Male fantasy, a bunch of big bulky men. God I did not fit her type.

“Hey, um sir?” she called out to me, making me realize I didn't give her my name I walked toward him giving her a little jog.

“Sorry, it's Joe. Joe goldberg. assistance?”

“Yeah um, Do you have Bitten?”

She asked me my heart pumped out of my chest God I had no comparison, joe keep it cool keep it cool.

“The series with big bulked guys? Right this way.”

I joked, almost killing myself for how corny it was.

“Anything with a man is fine, as long as they're clean shaven.”

She joked, time to get the wax Joe. Many minutes later I rewarded her with the book, she paid for it. She left but quickly came back in.

“Bye Joe!”

She stated, don't say that baby no. See you later.

-

Hours later I checked out and the store came to a close, in the midst of walking home I took out the phone, password.

Shit.

I turned over the back of the phone and to my luck, the silly girl had the name on the back of it.

“Twin flames.”

I typed in, immediately it opened and I was met with some type of romance screen, messages where are you? I clicked on the messages, there were many many men. Going from A to Z

Andrew

Billy

Camden

Derek

Emanuel

ECT

“Who was in your life, and why so many men.” I whispered to myself hitting my head on the door from not paying attention, I unlocked my door and sat down on my couch. Notifications came popping in. I checked the message from someone who was labeled “Bestie 💕” Woman.

I was met with a variety of sad texts.

I can't put up with his bullshit!

Like wtf am I supposed to do?

I don't want to abandon him but it'd be better if he got killed!

#Fuck you Andrew.

How could my luck be possibly this bad, First my dad. Then everything else, now this? How am I supposed to live.

One who is Andrew? I kept scrolling until I saw something that made my eyes light up. A contact named Andrew, quickly I clicked on it searching for serious messages.

Nude?

And that's all I had to see to know he was a dickhead. Don't worry princess because I'm about to be your night and shining armor. Next her gallery maybe I'll get lucky. I scrolled and scrolled, nothing appealing what so ever, no pictures of her just the sky and it's dull colors

'Live'

Something popped up on the top of the screen, I clicked it only to be faced with a brightly colored room, confusion fled to my face. I gave a subtle tilt. Now what do we have here? I wondered only to hear a familiar giggle. My eyes widened when I was met with an almost nude Girl, minus lingerie. the same one from the bookstore.

“I left my phone at the fucking bookstore!” she cursed, placing her feet on top of the camera so people would have a clear view of the print from her vagina, and how thick it looked from the bright yellow lingerie, she pulled the lingerie up, making it sink into her pussy lips.

“No porn for me, I think I've been a good girl.” she flipped onto her stomach her elbows hoisting her up as she looked directly into the camera raising her ass in the air and grinding it back on the floor, one of her hands flying to grope her ass.

She girl fucking? Seriously unexpected.

Weird little comments like

Suck a dildo

Play with that pussy

Pillow ride

Spank yourself

You've been naughty.

Show me them tits!

I'm gonna cum

Quickly I grabbed my own computer, opened it and downloaded the camgirl app, I made an anonymous account, logging into the same stream. And quickly I became one of those weird comments.

Don't you think we deserve a show?

“Matter of fact, I do think you deserve a show let's do a vote!” she giggled. standing up and bringing a board into view. She wrote

Suck a dildo

Pussy play

Pillow ride

Self spanking

Tit play

Cum play

Rewarded 1 v 1 = Best commenter

“ Now to vote!” she smiled innocently easily making this the hardest decision in my life with only five seconds left I picked pussy play but quickly lost to the pillow ride.

She grabbed a pillow and pulled off her thongs, quickly hopping on her pillow and riding it, quickly I pulled my cock out grabbing some nearby moisturizer, and plumbed my dick up and down,

My finger swirling on the tip as I jacked myself off, she grabbed a nearby dildo and began sucking on it I went even faster pre cum drenching my hands.

[mlobsters]

so i started this episode and when the flowers started coming back to life i thought to myself, if i'm gonna watch some sad timeywimey shit then i'm gonna just go all in and rewatch arrival. and if i'm gonna rewatch arrival, i'm gonna rewatch interstellar. so that's what i did instead. here's attempt #2

sidenote david reed did the story, he was also a writer on the magicians

supernatural s5e19 hammer of the gods (st. david reed, teleplay andrew dabb, daniel loflin)

starting strong. she's so good, great voice

DEAN How you doing?

WOMAN No.

DEAN But--

WOMAN No.

yellowjackets s1 - rekha sharma as jessica roberts

funny little trick of lighting and certain colors, can't say i pay much attention to what they're wearing unless it's an outlier like that white floralish printed button down and the like sam wore in early seasons especially, but thought, i don't recall seeing dean in a brown jacket before

but in this cooler kitchen lighting, it looks green. there was a tiktok going around a few years ago about someone who bought a ... hat? that looked green or brown depending on the lighting. reminds me of that

i appreciate the point of like hey. judeo-christian apocalypse, what about all these other religions that have to deal with the bullshit fallout. BUT like, is big g god who abandoned them in the same hierarchy as these gods? because if not, then hmm. i may not have enough firing brain cells for this thought process, and definitely a general lack of understanding of religion

um random ghostfacers pseudo-but-kinda-not promo? okay.

ps the angel blades to me always looks like super cheap plastic fake chrome things. i try not to laugh every time i see one.

sam's reaction *chef's kiss* padalecki is hitting the spot for me lately with his wtf faces

DEAN I'm outta options. Now on any other given day, I'd be doing my damndest to, uh, kill you. You filthy murdering chimps. But, uh, hey, desperate times. So even though I'd love nothing better than to slit your throats, you dicks, I'm gonna help you. I'm going to help you ice the devil. 

not loving the makeup they went for on decaying vessel lucifer. also do not understand the internal logic of why lucifer can just snuff out a god. little snicker snack twist of the wrist but archangels and their ilk need a special blade otherwise?

makeup looking much better in this mood lighting with some blood spatter. very menacing, to boot

this pestilence bit with the goo is unending. please, we get it. 😩

okay. laughing at myself because i'm just realizing i thought matt frewer was murdock in the original a-team, but no. that was a different dude. dwight schultz. i can't figure out what i originally knew him from, maybe doctor doctor, maybe the stand? something 80s/90s.

altered carbon s1e6 man with my face - matt frewer as carnage

kind of a nod to max headroom there seems like. which, i'm not sure if i ever saw any of the max headroom shows? i just associated the character with coke ads.

the stand (1994) matt frewer as trashcan man

dwight schultz not matt frewer in the a-team

well. i wasn't really expecting that change of heart with gabriel, and swift execution. i like the actor and the character but while i picked up the mushy emotions they were putting down, i also hold a grudge against him for torturing sam for approaching a year with the mystery spot. wish maybe they'd worked on that arc a little longer.

[jinnxd]

Not only was I just thinking about you and your fic just as you updated it, you also wrote Mizuki in a way that absolutely made me disgusted, it was too perfect. Like spot on with some of the guys that have hit on me and one I ended up dating. Absolutely gross, I loved it! Even though it made my skin crawl. Like fuck Mizuki, Orochimaru can have his body if you ask me. And I can't wait to absolutely melt when you get to the point of actually making Kiya and Kakashi date. Is fanfiction off of fanfiction a thing? Because I can imagine it now: they get together and everything around the same time as team 7 is formed, and then Naruto and Sasuke get assigned to team 7, and they gotta warm up to Kakashi one way or another, and he to them, and it all ends up in the most adorable family picnic. Or family vacation. Where Kakashi and Kiya are trying to have a romantic moment or two that the kids keep ruining because they're trying to have a dumb contest, the kind Kakashi and Guy regularly have. Meanwhile Kiya and Kakashi are working on a way to take down Danzo. And both of the boys end up overhearing that goal but never know the reason why they wanna do that. And also I headcanon sasunaru so Sasuke leaves after the exams anyway, and along the way realizes his feelings for Naruto run deeper and so he returns to his family. And Naruto realizes his feelings after training with Jiraya. Kakashi and Kiya are kinda weirded out but they've seen weirder things so it's fine. And as a family, they take down Danzo. But during the fight Danzo reveals what he wanted to do with Kiya which makes both kids rage so hard they don't even leave a single atom of him remain once he's dead. Is there a plot to this? Absolutely, it's called revenge and happiness because fuck Danzo and I want everyone else to be happy. Anyway sorry for rambling, THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE, and I love you baiii <3

omg… you were thinking about me?! hehe I’m blushingggg (*´ ˘ `*).｡oO ( ♡ )

I felt horrible writing Mizuki and Kiya’s interactions, but they’re really just all based on past experiences of mine :3 that and I just took every single revolting aspect I could think of and threw them all at him hehehe—self-proclaimed “alpha male”? Check. Constantly interrupts Kiya and refuses to take no for an answer? Check! Negs her at every possible turn? Check, check, check!!!

(AU headcanon: Mizuki is a die-hard Andrew Tate fan)

I feel like we’ve all had shitty experiences with shitty men before (like wtf why are they EVERYWHERE) so this chapter/Mizuki’s WHOLE character is a tribute to all the victims of shitty men (≧o≦) I sincerely hope that the guy you ended up dating did not last long at all, and I hope he got what was coming to him! No one deserves to be treated that way >:(

(but I admit I’m having fun with this—it’s like Mizuki is being put in a public stockade and we all get to throw rotten tomatoes at him :) in a way, it’s nice to see that he’s so widely hated, because WE ALL DESERVE BETTER!!!)

I can’t wait for Kakashi and Kiya to get together, either🤭 there’s been a tiny hint of progress, but there’s still a long way to go until they both stop being idiots and just KISS already 👺

The fanfic of a fanfic is ADORABLE, I love that so much :’) I just want them all to be happy, they deserve so much love <3

And as for the Danzo takedown, there are a million different ideas in my head that are floating around!!! It sort of drives me crazy because everything else has an outline, but Danzo’s demise is just one big question mark🙈 the goal is to have it be a team effort, give everyone a chance to get their revenge, y’know? But then in the meantime Danzo just gets to LIVE until Sasuke’s old enough to beat him up… AHHHH idk idk idk all I know is I want everyone to jump his old mummy-looking ass 😌

RAMBLING IS MY FAV, I LOVE RAMBLING!!! (as we can all tell, I physically cannot shut up… we’re barely halfway through the story and at almost 300k words… oopsie) DONT APOLOGIZE FOR RAMBLING!!!!! Thank *you* for this lovely lovely comment, it was a pleasure to read 🫶🫶🫶

SENDING YOU SO MUCH LOVE!!!! ( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-♡

[skiplo-wave]

Take this with a grain of salt. I can't find myself to believe it right now until I see it. Supposedly Disney has made their final plans with what they are going to do with the POTC series. I don't know if you know who BeastBoyFunk is but if you are part of his Discord or know someone that is in it, you'll know he does all things Disney. He was the one that dropped the spoilers about Brandy coming back to play Cinderella before it was even announced.

It is being said that the original cast is coming back to POTC in a two part finale. They are going to finally end it.

Pirates of the Caribbean VI: Part 1

Pirates of the Caribbean VII: Part 2

The two movies will be filmed at the same time. Part 1 is being coded as "The Battle of Thronos" and Part 2 is "Sail of New Seas". They are not the final names. He's pretty sure he knows what Part 1 is going to be and these two finale films are going to draw them all together. This is the cast sheet and some of them are rumored. While all this writer strike stuff is going on, it was said they had a sit down read via zoom. I want you to look at some of these cast and character names like Lettice BECKETT! WTF?!👀

CAST:

Johnny Depp - Jack Sparrow

Orlando Bloom - Will Turner

Keira Knightley - Elizabeth Turner

Brenton Thwaites - Henry Turner

Kaya Scodelario - Carina Barbossa

Kiefer Sutherland - Andrew Bowman

Kika-Rose Ridley - Adelaide Vane

Bill Nighy - Davy Jones

Naomie Harris - Calypso

James Earl Jones (Voiced) - Atlas

Saoirse Ronan - Lettice Beckett

Kevin McNally - Joshamee Gibbs

Stellan Skarsgård - Bill Turner

Lindsay Sloane - Sophronia

Martin Klebba - Marty

Mackenzie Crook - Ragetti

Lee Arenberg - Pintel

Zoe Saldana - Anamaria

Sam Claflin - Philip

Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey - Syrena

Geoffrey Rush - Hector Barbossa

I got so many theories right now but I can't allow myself to do this until I see it. Disney did acknowledge POTC this year though multiple times since the reboot was called off. So that gives me some hope. And who knows how long this will take while all this stuff is going on.

Hmm doubt

With strikes going on idk

But they truly have pay Johnny a whole planet for him to come back. However with Disney trying created AI task force they wouldn’t even need Johnny physically anymore or rest of cast and that’s disturbing

[justagalwhowrites]

just to offer a different opinion to the other anon who thought doc was gaslighting joel about the whole tommy situation…. we have to remember that they weren’t just regular broken up exes like they were when joel broke up w her pre-outbreak. he straight up hated her (or at least acted like he did) and told her multiple times that he wished he never met her and never wanted to see her again. in my mind, that behavior dissolves any and all claim you have over someone, even to those who would normally be off-limits (i.e. family members). doc was absolutely in the right in that conversation imo. honestly, joel should be on his knees thanking doc for even looking in his general direction atp after the way he treated her all those years.

i get it that dating the family members of exes is weird (and if doc and tommy got together in an AU where the outbreak didn’t happen and sarah didn’t die, i would be more on joel’s side) but in this universe, with the way joel treated her, honestly he has zero right to be mad at her for anything (though i get why he was, bc the real emotion behind his outburst was probably just jealousy and anger at himself for not getting his shit together sooner). that’s my take on it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hi Bestie!

Another view on the Doc/Joel convo about Tommy!

This is a little more in line with how I approached the Doc/Tommy relationship from a writing perspective (which doesn't necessarily mean it's the right interpretation! However it came off to you is right for you!)

Another part of this, Doc is so fucking wrecked by EVERYTHING with the outbreak and Joel and really only has Andrew to rely on for support and Andrew had Jess. Doc didn't want to pull him away from the life he was making for himself by bogging him down in her shit. She was lonely and just a very broken person - she couldn't even come around to the idea of trying to date someone after Joel she was so devastated by him and she internalized all of it because she had no outlet. Tommy knew all of these really devastating things so she wouldn't need to explain it, was kind to her, wanted her and was so willing to go along with whatever she needed that he felt supremely safe.

Even if Joel was THAT cruel to her in a breakup in a no-outbreak scenario, she wouldn't have dated Tommy because she wouldn't have been so fragile. She would have had support (Cass, Louisa), she wouldn't have survived everything she had to get to that point so she wouldn't have the same trauma. Tommy would have been totally off the table, even if he put the moves on her. It'd have taken her a while but she'd have found a Derek or a Brad on her own within a few months and kinda-sorta moved on. At least to the extent of having a somewhat fulfilling relationship with him if not being head over heels in love with him. The Tommy/Doc situation was one that came about only because everyone was so fucked up from trauma and Joel's reaction to it was to lash out to force distance between him and the person he loved most and Doc's was to self destruct.

All that being said, I don't blame Joel for being pissed about it. Especially since he directs his anger at Tommy and not Doc. I think he understands how much he hurt Doc (not that he wants to think about that, he'd much rather dodge that thought as much as possible) but he's like "WTF Tommy I didn't do anything to you fuck you."

ANYWAY! That's part of my thesis on the Joel/Doc/Tommy situation lmfao I could talk about this all day because there were LAYERS to me planning out that relationship lol LAYERS Y'ALL

[doyouknowwhoyouare13]

Nyx reads It's Not Summer Without You

Ok you guys so when I read the first book I read it in a day so that's what I'm gonna TRY to do however, if I don't finish it there might be spaces in between where I sum up everything I read while at school, just a heads up!!

Anyways here's the obligatory warning, DO NOT FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO READ THIS!!! It's just for fun but it might get annoying, I promise it won't hurt my feelings 💀

and of course

SPOILER WARNING!!!!

ok before I actually start

I gotta come clean

AT THIS POINT IN TIME.

I am a jeremiah girl

I have been don't even start he's the cutest shut up

anyways

Conrad isn't bad I'm just saying I like Jeremiah better

AND I did hear conrad ain't good in this book so I mean

ok actually chapter one now

so I read the first book last year

so I have no idea what's going on

but I'll figure it out

OK THAT WAS KINDA CUTE

oh right that happened.

omg I know someone named Cory

he'd do the same thing!!!!

this is literally the first chapter wtf

I'm about to cry

chapter 2

omg he called!!!

jeremiah still better

I gotta admit they're cute though

and steven slays per usual

chapter 3!!!

oh I hate Taylor I'm sorry

so annoying ngl

poor Laurel :(

cory seems nice though!!

istg if taylor don't

OMG IT HURTS STOP

chapter 4!!

JEREMIAH???

WAIT WERE THERE POVS IN THE OTHER BOOK?

HOLD ON

GOING TO CHECK

THERE ISN'T

WHAT IS THIS

who cares it's my fav!!!

oh that's sad.

NOO NOOO NOOOOO

HOW COULD YOU??

I'M CRYING NOW TOO

anyways

after I chilled out a bit

chapter 5

stop.

I just stopped crying.

stop it.

ok there the tears go again

you guys, we're only on page 31, chill.

STOP. IT.

"And I've been praying, I never did before"

esny has been in my head this whole chapter it's devastating

NOT BOTH OF THEIR DADS

FUCK THAT SHIT

bro. not mtr rn. I'm already crying.

stop it.

CONRAD???

BELLY. NO WAY.

holy shit that was a fucking rollercoaster I'm still crying omg

alright let's keep going!!!! chapter 6

GONE??

this is actually so sad

I came here for cute summer vibes

not sobbing less than 50 pages in

chapter 7

istfg

i hate this girl

she makes ME crazy istg i actually

UGHH

ok cinderbelly is really cute though

chapter 8

uh oh another pov

BUT JEREMIAH!!!

oh we're going back

good cause then I won't cry

they're so taylor swift coded

oh shit ok I lied

I'm gonna cry wtf

it's ok jeremiah I'll love you for her!!!

I feel bad for him tho ngl

chapter 9

this is so sad wtf

help me please

THE LAST LINE??? I'M GONNA CRY AGAIN BRO

chapter 10

istfg taylor swift is out to get me

fucking

fucking yoyok??

I'm gonna cry

wonder how many times I've said that

bro I'm already almost out of sad tabs what

ok so I read like a lot at school and when I say a lot I mean A LOT like I'm now on chapter 29!!!

anyways still love jere, hate mr. fisher, feel bad for conrad, wonder why her dad and mom broke up but that was prob in the first book

ok we're starting mid 29 (and adding 30)

I'll kiss him for her!!!

also when did they start calling her bells

I mean it's cute but where'd it come from

you're right. you don't have a right 😭

weren't you JUST upset about Conrad?

yeah he doesn't love her cause he loves ME

I'm delusional just go with it!!

NAH NOT ANGIE 💀

how do I remember her but like not half the other stuff help

omg taylor again

I'm sorry I despise her

both of them are driving me insane rn 💀

chapter 31

DECOMPOSING ROSES 💀

reminds me of andrew's spidey "Let's just get out of here" while shaking his head

I love that scene

he's so cute

but anyways back to the book

bro connie getting on my nerves

FORGIVENESS

CAN YOU IMAGINE

oh belly I'm gonna cry

JERE!!!

oooh someone jelly

jelly over belly

LMAO

PROVING MY POINT

JERE>>>

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

IS THERE SOMETHING I'M LIKE MISSING OR WHAT

chapter 33

SHIT I FORGOT HER NAME WAS ISABEL

BELLY.

OMG WHAT

and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad

I have a lot of regrets about that

WOOHOO WE GOT HER!!!

JEREMIAH!!!

chapter 34

ew yellow popsicles

jelly at age 13 bro

AWW HE DID GET SICK BUT BELLS HUNG OUT WITH HIM

chapter 35

STILL JERE!!!

I feel like this is the first time I remember him speaking badly of his dad

I love him sm you have no idea

chapter 36

bro

connie gotta think before he speaks stg 🙄

he likes his bacon like my dad does!!

I like my dad a lot better than mr. fisher though

GO LAUREL!!!

FUCK MR FISHER

um girl

that's your daughter

why are you like

yknow what who cares

chapter 37

JERE!!!!

why is she

ok I got a bone to pick

1

why is she a better parent to the boys than belly

2

WHERE TF IS STEVEN?

oh this is so sad :(

chapter 38

I am officially out of sad tabs

BUT NO WORRIES

FOR I HAVE ANOTHER PACK!!

look at her being a genius

come back...be here!!!

so taylor coded

I'm adding chapter 39 here too

too lazy to add a divider 💀

omg girl shut up about connie jeremiah is right there

I'm calling him connie cause it's funny and I know he would hate it

like matty boy

Chapter 40!!!

OMG BELLY FLOP!!!! WOOHOO

there's my cute summer book

I missed you

SEE JERE IS RIGHT THERE GIRL

slurpees!!

Oh NOW he remembers stuff 🙄

chapter 41

oh jere don't do this to me

scripting out her death cause I can't deal no way

BRO I'M GONNA-

omg good job connie!!

SEE HE REMEMBERS

JERE IS BETTER

COME ON BELLS HOW CAN YOU BE SO PAINFULLY OBLIVIOUS

YES

YESSS

THERE YOU GO JERE THERE YOU GO

WOOHOO!!!!

wish that was me though ✊😔

YESSSSS!!

uh oh connie is back

ngl I'd be mad pissed

CONRAD

I KNOW YOU MAD AND I WOULD BE TOO BUT DAMN

my words shoot to kill when I'm mad!!!

chapter 42

oh my god

bro

you guys gotta talk this shit out ngl

ohhh not steven don't do that to me

CONNIE BRO

bro istfg if you go back to connie I'm gonna cry again

43

this is driving me insane ngl

BELLYYY

NOOO THE END??? WTF YOU MEAN A COUPLE YEARS LATER???

excuse me is she leaving a wedding?

um

bro how am I supposed to wait a year

I'm gonna cry

[mostlymaudlin]

7, 27, & 37 if you're still taking asks for the writer ask thingamabob

7. Your favorite ao3 tag

GOTTA GO WITH BLOOD SNOWBALLING!!!! me n my friends (including you) own this tag and also rmr when that ao3 tag bot tweeted it and everyone was like "wtf" LOL

27. Do you agree that one shouldn't start a story with a piece of dialogue?

i cant tell if this is about like, BEGINNING a story with dialogue, or starting the writing process based on a piece of dialogue? both are fine i think. with the former, i do it pretty often esp for short stuff -- you have to be careful with the paragraph that follows, though, because you don't want people to just be talking into space. gotta ground the story in something before you move on w the conversation. (here's an example of what i mean).

if the latter -- whatever inspires haha. altho i will say... if the line of dialogue does not remain relevant once the story fleshes itself out, i dont think its worth it to keep it in. the line did its job to get your started, and it can retire early if youre like bending over backward trying to make it fit in. that's evolution, baby. or something.

37. Do you research before writing or while you write? Is it fun or boring for you?

i try not to write things that take a lot of research for me because i do have a compulsive need for my stories to be factual. and i want them to have the appropriate..... texture, i guess. so i tend to put stories in spheres i already know, then research the details i dont. for example, in the end is up to us, i set the story in a southern us city (which ive lived in), made andrew (my mc) a teacher bc i was a teacher, and then neil was a medical interpreter. i actually dont know anything about medical interpretation, but i looked up basic job stuff so i could get a handle on day-to-day stuff and also the hours he would work. the reader never saw neil when he wasnt with andrew, so i didn't have to do any more than that -- and i thiiiink it was probably fine? also, i usually establish all character/setting details before i start writing, so i guess thats when the majority of my research happens. im not sure if its necessarily FUN for me or if its just satisfying to know my facts are straight haha.

[yyunari]

nari help i’m gonna cry bc wtf is this (yt short) my yt algorithm sucks fr 👎👎👎 i either get stupid thinly veiled or sometimes not at all homophobic vids (they start off sweet or almost seem like a parody but then you wait for the punchline to realize it’s a joke but it never comes 😭😭), shorts abt whoever tf andrew tate is 🤮, misongystic quote videos like the one above or trumpies thinking they did smtg cool 😭😭 it makes me want to literally cry bc all i watch is kpop mvs and slime asmr … but the shorts never make any sense 😞😞😞

she should take off her makeup girl wdym ogre 💀💀 I HATE GETTING THOSE VIDEOS SM LIKE I USED TO GET ??? BEN SHAPIRO SHORTS ??? FOR NO REASON ??? it was always ‘gay people suck’ Like yeah we suck. sucking off ur mom like get out of my face ur a horrible person 😄👍 fr tho fuck andrew tate theres this guy who sits at my stats table and hes in love with andrew tate it’s SICKENING he was like “he’s really funny and he’s right sometimes even though i dont always agree with him” when andrew tate is genuinely a horrible person and him being ‘funny’ can’t even justify all the horrible things he’s said :// hate people like that fr

anyways bff ill pray ur yt shorts stops sucking soon and u can watch ur kpop mvs and slime asmr in peace 😕😕 what i do is when i see a yt short i dont like i do the ‘dont recomment this channel’ thing and it goes away after a while 😁😁😁

[nomorerww]

Clinical psychologist Rachel Andrew says she is seeing more and more envy in her consulting room, from people who “can’t achieve the lifestyle they want but which they see others have”. Our use of platforms including Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat, she says, amplifies this deeply disturbing psychological discord. “I think what social media has done is make everyone accessible for comparison,” she explains. “In the past, people might have just envied their neighbours, but now we can compare ourselves with everyone across the world.” Windy Dryden, one of the UK’s leading practitioners of cognitive behavioural therapy, calls this “comparisonitis”.

rants below cut

and this is the worst among young people who think that they've got something to prove.

If those images or narratives tap into what we aspire to, but what we don’t have, then it becomes very powerful.”

and this is why you see the teen to early 20s crowd look like they came out of the barbie factory while professionals in their late 30s to early 40s don't seem to bother with making themselves up as much. you're less likely to gaf or pay attention to trends/norms as you age and are no longer dating/partying like you used to. (being 40 and still going to obnoxious clubs is just sad)

To explore the role that envy plays in our use of social media, Kross and his team designed a study to consider the relationship between passive Facebook use – “just voyeuristically scrolling,” as he puts it – and envy and mood from moment to moment. Participants received texts five times a day for two weeks, asking about their passive Facebook use since the previous message, and how they were feeling in that moment. The results were striking, he says: “The more you’re on there scrolling away, the more that elicits feelings of envy, which in turn predicts drops in how good you feel”.

[...]We don’t measure up to the lives we tell others we are living, and we look at the self as though it were an other, and feel envious of it.” This creates an alienating sense of “self-envy” inside us, she says. “We feel inauthentic, curiously envious of our own avatars.”

this isn't a problem when you're male, & have zero shame and self awareness to begin with.

“Envy is wanting to destroy what someone else has. Not just wanting it for yourself, but wanting other people not to have it. It’s a deep-rooted issue, where you are very, very resentful of another person’s wellbeing – whether that be their looks, their position or the car they have. It is silent, destructive, underhand – it is pure malice, pure hatred,” she says.

oftentimes the people who 'have things' are shitty (and braggarts -- like, why do strangers and acquaintances need to know wtf you're doing?). and selfish. and un-self aware or just uncaring, where the accountability there?

When it comes to the kind of envy inspired by social media, he says, there are two factors that make a person more vulnerable: low self-esteem and deprivation intolerance, which describes the experience of being unable to bear not getting what you want. To overcome this, he says, think about what you would teach a child. The aim is to develop a philosophy, a way of being in the world, that allows you to recognise when someone else has something that you want but don’t have, and also to recognise that you can survive without it, and that not having it does not make you less worthy or less of a person.

this is an incel problem and it's not solvable in many of these men, as they aren't receptive to therapy (how did male dominance metastasize into it's current, monstrous form? b/c males aren't vicious, self-centered little pricks?):

We could also try to change the way we habitually use social media. Kross explains that most of the time, people use Facebook passively and not actively, idly and lazily reading instead of posting, messaging or commenting. “That is interesting when you realise it is the passive usage that is presumed to be more harmful than the active. The links between passive usage and feeling worse are very robust – we have huge data sets involving tens of thousands of people,” he says. While it is less clear how active usage affects wellbeing, there does seem to be a small positive link, he explains, between using Facebook to connect with others and feeling better.

if you're actually interacting with people, you're probably less focused on the whole jealousy thing and more on relating to the individuals in question.

[...]with news that is quite personal, do we need to make it so public? Honing your personal brand on social media may seem good for business, but it does have a price. It all creates an atmosphere where showing off – whether unapologetically or deceptively – is not just normalised but expected, and that is a space where envy can flourish.

the ppl who need to heed this advice never do...

[justcahttingtothevoidcat]

Midnight and Meteor's

Well, it's close to 2:30am on Thursday the 15th of September

I am listening to the weekly skews podcast on Youtube and Etti is lying on her soft blanket sleeping, Midnight is on his heater seat between the living and dining room.

Here's a wee run down of the past few days, I got a letter on Monday saying my MRI scan is on Friday which is super quick, sadly it's private which is how I've managed to get most of the health stuff done for me because apparently having awful back pain for 3 years isn't top of the list in fixing. It's your hEDS blah blah blah, you need physio (I went to physio, apparently their way to fix my upper back is by working on my core 🙄) just the usual bullshit that so many people with chronic illnesses/disabilities face. The NHS is great for acute medicine but awful for chronic things, the funding and structure and research just isn't there.

Midnight was sick on Tuesday, a few times, ending in the foamy stuff which concerned us but we knew things weren't right a few hours later when Etti started hissing at him. I think she is scared when she smells he is sick and her anxiety comes out as aggression. We kind of decided that we would see how the lad was in the morning and if needed call the vet.

Tuesday night I had my last Community Council meeting, which is bitter sweet. I joined in 2017 (I think) with the aim of helping the community and making some friends and I'm really not sure how well either turned out, certainly I didn't really make any friends, I was the youngest there by at least a decade though.

Mum and I were quite anxious that night because we realised it was likely the pancreas again and we did not want Midnight to suffer or feel horrid at all, I was worried that Etti would go for him, which she hasn't yet, I did hear M having some biscuits and water about 4am ish so after that I fell asleep,

Wednesday mum called the vet and they agreed to give him some meds so she went off and got them, M was upstairs in his hidey spot and Etti was really wanting to snuggle with me which I didn't mind. I did have to scoop her up and lock her in the loo with me while mum was trying to coax M out to get his meds though, he took them and felt better, ate, got tummy rubbles from me and chilled with us for the day. Then about 10ish this evening I saw what I thought was a white flair flying over the house and I jumped onto my feet wondering wtf was happening. I realised it was glowing green at the head so thought maybe it was a silent firework, turns out it was a meteor but I only realised that when I went on twitter.

Otherwise there's been some batshit things happening including people being arrested for holding signs against the monarchy or shouting at the known Paedophile Prince Andrew. How horrifying that in the UK(s) we can't have an opinion without being arrested!!!

The king fired his staff at the first opportunity, Norwich council tried to close a bike rack because it's in mourning!? Centre Parc's fucked up and tried to kick it's patrons out on the day of the funeral then told them they can stay but aren't allowed out their lodges.

Ukraine seems to be kicking Russia's arse, but given the state of the Russian army and army supplies that's not actually surprising. We should be so past this kind of warmongering but here we are. The World Met Org has put out a report showing how behind we are in stopping a 2'c rise, never mind a 1.5'c. I mean it's been 18/19 deg here in September and that seems so wrong to me. We are well into Autumn here on the west coast and it should not be this warm.

Do you know what feels so unreal to me, in 15 years I will be 50, 50!!!! I really feel like my bodies misadventures have just swiped my Youth right away. I kind of spiralled, wondered if I would ever have a family or be well enough to work. I feel a bit like the socialite daughter of a duke or something, not needing to work to survive because my family has wealth enough for me to survive on, except I don't do any socialising and am disabled and chronically unwell... I really feel so guilty about the circumstances I find myself in, despite having no say in any of it. I am grateful that my mum did a job she loved that happened to be well paid and it has allowed me to be in these circumstances. I am painfully aware how fortunate I am so it's this weird thing where you try to walk the line between gratitude at this and guilt that so many don't have the same help.

I literally have no plans for my life, every time I made one something happened that swiped it all away. Whether it was wanting to do something with History or later Primary school teaching and then Counselling. I started to do the work and then Bam sickness, then Bam someone else is dying/dead. It's been non-stop, I was watching a funeral director show on Netflix and the guy was Irish in Eire and said that most people encounter death every 11 years, I wish!!!

Now poor Shuggie is sick, that's my dad's bff. He has lung cancer, likely stage 3 and I so hope his cancer is treatable. He is such a lovely soul and he has had a tough time of it, particularly the last few years, he lost a sister to Covid and then another to a Brain aneurism so close to each other. His wife Irene is a darling, she is so talented, she could make anything, really she is brilliant like that. Their two kids Grant and April are fab too, poor April is in NZ and would love to come home, but she can't afford to because her husband is not a UK citizen which is just awful, I really can't imagine how difficult this must all be for her.

I know we all have a time to die, but he is only 72 and it just feels so awful. He's a fighter though, he's had to be, so I hope he pulls through and lives a long life into his 90s and beyond.

It's certainly been a week Cat.