#ya’ll this realization is making me not ok

[raya-hunter01]

Can you do a story on jey about his gf tryna go to bed mad at him and he ain’t having it 🤗🤭

We Ain’t Going to Bed Angry

Jey Uso x Black Female OC! (Jasmine)

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut; sex, fluff, couple arguing, Jealousy

Summary: Jasmine wants to go to bed angry and in separate bedrooms, but Main Even Jey Uso is putting his foot down.

My first ever request....I hope you enjoy it @mya2real

Pensacola, FL

Jasmine’s POV

“Damn I finally get you alone, and all you want to do is cruise the coast and talk about your man. I hope he realizes how lucky his ass is, cause I really was trying to get your number,” Carmelo said as I laughed.

 “Thanks for helping me out Melo you are a sweetie. I promise he won’t come at you with any drama,” I said giving him a kiss on the cheek as I began my walk back to Jey’s house.

 I had Carmelo drop me off down the road from the subdivision. I ain’t crazy by no means, I ain’t letting just anybody know where I lay my head at night. Folks can be crazy as hell.

I groaned as my phone rang again looking down, I sighed. Another call from Jey. I knew I was wrong, but I was still pissed so I hit ignore and punched the code to be let into the subdivision. You let a bitch dance all up on you like you're single and shit.

But, oh, but when I leave yo’ ass at the club you concerned. Give me a break you weren’t worried about what I thought when she was twirling all up on your dick,” I muttered continuing my walk. I hate these fuckin’ groupies with a passion.

Jey’s POV

“Jasmine, I know you ignoring me.  What you doin'?  I know you had betta be on your way home. I bet he trying to fuck you ain’t he?  I’mma get’em you know dat right? I’mma hurt him bad Jasmine,” I said ending the voicemail before I dug an even deeper hole.

“Well damn, you just threatened to kill Melo for nothing, Jasmine ain’t that type of woman, and you know it,” Jimmy said shaking his head at me.

“She ain’t, but I know Carmelo likes her. I knew when I brought her to a show last year. He was looking wit no damn shame Uce, and tonight she got into a car wit his bitch ass trying to make me jealous,” I said steaming thinking about Carmelo touching Jasmine in any way.

"Hell, ain’t no tryin’ in it, you jealous Uce" Jimmy said as I rolled my eyes at him.

 “This woman gon’ be the death of me,” I muttered as Jimmy snickered. “Aye, sis told you not to play in her face, and you did anyway. Serves yo’ ass dead right,” he said laughing.

“I ain’t played in her face, I was just dancing with a fan,” I said oblivious to what he was trying to say.

“Uce, it wasn’t that you were dancing with her, it was how she was dancing all up on yo’ ass and you did nothing to stop it. Ya’ll was all but fuckin on that dance floor,. You lucky Jasmine didn't show her ass,” Jimmy said as I tried to think back to what happened, and when it finally clicked, I felt like an ass.

“Ok, yea, I admit it was outta pocket, but she ain’t have to leave with his ass to prove a point. She knows I’m wit her, that shit didn’t mean nothin',” I said as I heard the front door open.

A wave of relief washed over me as I saw her beautiful face as she took off her heels seemingly ignoring me. Thank God she was home safe.

“Uh, I’ll let myself out, and let ya’ll talk,” Jimmy said trying to hurry to the door but not before hugging Jasmine. “Glad you ok sis, you had me worried,” he whispered as she smiled rubbing his back. “I’m ok bro, tell Trin I’ll call her tomorrow” she whispered as I tried to keep my cool, at least until Jimmy left.

I felt my anger rising by the second. What had she been doing with Carmelo that she couldn’t pick up the fuckin’ phone? As the door closed behind Jimmy I exploded.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” I hissed trying not to wake up our son upstairs.

“I went for a ride with an old friend, is that a problem?” she asked with a bit of an attitude.

“Aye, chill with the attitude, I’m the one that should be mad. My girlfriend left me at a club to go be with another motherfucka she knows I don’t like,” I said as Jasmine rolled her eyes.

“Well, my man was dancing all up on a ho like he’s single so I guess we even, and can both be pissed the fuck off together then. Ugh, I can’t wait to go back to Georgia, this was a mistake coming here to visit, It just was too soon,” she said walking away as I followed her upstairs.

“What the fuck does that mean? You really feel visiting me was a mistake?” I asked as she stopped walking.

“Jey, all I wanted was to spend time with you, and all you’ve done is spend time with everyone else but me and our son! I feel like we don’t belong here Jey, that’s why I left in the first place!” Jasmine exclaimed as I ran my hands over my face in frustration.

I knew she was right; I had been on the go since they got here, and I had promised I wouldn’t be. I truly had no defense for my actions.

 I was in keep-busy mode because that’s all I had been doing since Jasmine had left with our son a couple months ago.

This was my fault, I agreed to host that party at the club tonight knowing they were here. I asked today to be added to the meet and greet for tomorrow instead of enjoying my day off with them.  

“Baby, I’m sorry ok can we just talk about it in the morning. I promise I’mma make it right please, I don’t want us to go to bed mad at each other,” I said as she sighed in defeat.

“I’m not mad, I’m hurt and I’m not going in there with you pretending everything is ok when it isn’t. I’ll sleep in the spare bedroom. I put my bags in there earlier anyway,” Jasmine said as I frowned at her not believing what she was saying.

Jasmine’s POV

“You ain’t staying in the spare bedroom, that’s for guests and this is yo’ fuckin’ home regardless of how you feel about it. “Jey I’m not,” I started as Jey cut me off firmly. “Jas! You ain’t stayin’ in there and that’s it!” Jey said as I felt myself shiver at his commanding deep voice.  

I was speechless looking at him trying to remain unfazed. “You are sleepin’ in our room…. In our bed, and in my fuckin arms 'cause that’s where you belong, nowhere else,” Jey said full of conviction as I shook my head in defiance at him.

“I ain’t doin’ this wit you, I’m going to check on Jayden,” I whispered walking away from him and peaking my head into our son’s room. I couldn’t help but be in awe of him as he slept in his crib.

He’s almost a year old, and I still can’t believe we made his little amazing self; he looks so much like Jey it’s scary.

I felt Jey’s eyes on me as I turned to see him standing now in the doorway of the bedroom, we shared together for the last four years up until four months ago.

His intense gaze makin' me weaker in the knees by the second as I closed my eyes finally breaking eye contact with him, it was too intense.

“Jasmine, we been playin’ this game for four months too long…Don’t make me have to come get you. Tell our son goodnight, and get yo’ fine ass in here so we can go to bed,” I heard him say as I opened my eyes ready to give a smart-ass reply but saw he had already disappeared into the bedroom.

I could hear him shuffling around the room, then the shower started. I blushed to myself at the thought of him getting naked to take a shower. “No, remain strong Jasmine,” I whispered to myself as I went to the spare bedroom.

Jey’s POV

 “I know her ass betta be in there when I get outta this shower. Sick of this shit, she knows I love her ass,” I muttered letting the hot water and steam relax me.

Ok, maybe my approach wasn’t the best, but I love my family and if I have it my way they won’t be going back to Ga if I can help it. “Jey, you got to get it together and get yo’ family back,” I muttered to myself stepping out of the shower and drying off.

Walking back into the bedroom I saw Jasmine wasn’t there. “Oh, so yo’ ass think I’m playin’ wit you huh,” I muttered to myself wrapping my towel around my waist, and heading down the hall. I could see the light under the door and as I got closer I heard her on the phone with her mom.

“Hold on mama let me put you on speaker, I'm changing," she said as I heard her mother take a deep breath. "Now like I was sayin' Mama I am trying, we came out here didn’t we,” Jasmine said as her mother laughed.

“Girl, you flew out there with hell in you, 'cause of them thirsty ass Instagram comments on his post he made about being happy ya’ll were flying out to see him. “Mama, I wasn’t mad,” Jasmine said as her mother laughed.

“Baby, he loves ya’ll. I know all the female attention he gets worries you especially since he’s on the road more with them adding more house shows,” she said as I frowned at her words as Jasmine wiped her tears.

“I know he loves us mama, and I love him.  I just want him to act like he’s in an actual relationship. I mean stop making these women think they have a shot with you dude, you got a family at home waiting on you. That's why I gave him the engagement ring back and told him we needed space,” Jasmine hissed as I sighed. Damn was I that bad?

“Baby, why do you think that man has been begging, calling nonstop, and flying to Georgia on every off day he has just to come to little ol Warner Robins, GA even if it’s only for a couple hours. He misses ya’ll and wants his family back. You gotta let him in baby, this been goin' on long enough,” her mother said as I felt the need to make my presence known as I opened the door.

Walking inside I saw her standing nervously there in her bra and underwear talking to her mom as she spotted me trying not blush.

Yea, I’m looking at yo’ fine ass. Damn, my baby was fine as fuck, it had been four months too long for my liking. How the hell did I even let her leave in the first place.

Jasmine’s POV

I can’t believe he brought his ass in here, didn’t even fuckin’ knock. He is getting next to my nerves I swear. I see him lick his lips looking at me as if he could devour me whole.

I ain’t gon’ lie, I felt powerful as hell.  I could see and feel his need for me, just from his intense stare that seemed to be burning a hole in my soul and it made my thighs quiver at the thought of being in his arms. He knows what he’s doing coming in here in that lil ass towel.

“I love you, sweetie, give my grandbaby my love,” my mother said as I smiled. “I will mama, good night and love you too,” I said rushing to get off the phone.

“Why are you in here?” I asked as Jey began walking closer to me almost like he was stalking his prey. “I told you to take yo’ ass in our room, but you just keep tryin’ me,” he smirked as I shrieked in shock as he picked me up and put me over his shoulder.

“What the hell are you doing?”! I hissed as Jey carried me down the hall back to our room. “What does it look like? I’m takin’ your ass back to where you belong, which is in our bed wit me with yo’ stubborn ass,” he said not missing a beat as I hit his back continuously.

“Put me down Jey! This shit ain’t funny!” I exclaimed irritated as he laughed. “Calm yo’ ass down, before you wake up the baby. I want you to myself da night,” he said slapping me hard on the ass before tossing me on the bed as tried to gather myself.

 Sitting up on my elbows, my eyes met his smirking face, and it made me madder.  “Oh, you want me to yourself?” I asked smartly rolling my eyes.

Yeah, I do. That ain’t gon’ never change Jasmine,” he said as I got up and tried to walk past him as he growled pulling me close.

“Jey let me,” I started as he took me in a possessive kiss, pinning my arms behind my back with one hand as the other grasped my neck, angling my mouth for better access as our tongues battled for control.

“Mmm, we can’t, we said we would wait,” I moaned against his lips as he released my arms, and I tangled my fingers in his hair. “Yes, we can baby, I got you,” Jey said picking me up by my thighs as I wrapped my legs around his waist tightly, as his towel fell to the floor. God, it felt so good to be this close to him again, I needed him bad.

“I want you so bad baby; Daddy missed you, and he needs his pussy,” Jey whispered against my lips as he ripped my underwear. “Fuck! I missed you too,” I moaned moving my kisses to his neck as he groaned moving us to the bed.

“Can I have you, it’s been so long Jazzy” Jey moaned gently sucking on my neck as I shivered at his use of his nickname for me.

“Jey, I’m still mad, we need to talk,” I moaned, unexpectedly gasping along with him as he entered me suddenly, both of us shivering at the feeling of our bodies and souls becoming one with each other again after four long months.

“You can be mad all you want tomorrow. Not da night, you gon’ enjoy Daddy reclaiming his pussy,” Jey moaned never stopping his thrusts as my hands clawed at his back as he hissed.

 “Jey, you feel so good,” I gasped as my body felt like I was on fire, I bit his neck before attacking his neck with kisses, sucking greedily, applying pressure trying to leave my mark for the world to see. I wanted them to know he was mine.

“Yea, suck that shit and mark me up, this yo’ dick, let’em know I’m yo’ man fuck,” Jey encouraged as I purred at his words as he rolled us over with me now on top. “Jey! Shit! Mmm,” I whimpered scratching down his chest, feeling him so deep from our new position.

“Uh huh, daddy deep in his pussy ain’t he? Come on and ride Daddy's dick and tell him how much you missed him. Tell me how this pussy was made just for me,” Jey groaned grasping my hips as I began riding him slowly enjoying the jolts of electricity going all over my body.

“Mmhmm, it’s made just for you daddy, you hear her talking to you,” I moaned talking my own shit as Jey growled beneath me as the sounds of my wet pussy sinking up and down on his dick filled the room along with our moans of desperation.

“Fuck Yea, Daddy hear, see, and feel her, damn she wet and tight as fuck. Talk yo’ shit girl, you makin’ daddy dick even harder. Give me dat pussy,” Jey groaned slapping my ass before grabbing my breasts with his hands almost painfully squeezing my nipples while meeting my slow deep thrust.

Shit, he knows what to say and what to do to set my body on fire and I loved it. I’m addicted to him, and I didn’t care who knew it.

Jey’s POV

“Yea, ride that shit slow and deep, you know how much I love dat shit,” I panted biting my lip trying not to lose control. “Mmm, I guess you did miss me, Daddy. Shit, you gettin’ even harder,” Jasmine moaned swirling her hips beginning to bounce harder on my dick with wild abandon.

“Fuck yea, I missed you, only you can get me like this,” I moaned not afraid to let that shit be known slapping her on the ass again as she whimpered, her body shivering with anticipation.

"Oh! Fuck, you promise it’s only me that gets you like this…You promise,” Jasmine groaned leaning down, kissing me with all her might as I groaned complete putty in her hands. I held her closer as our eyes met.

 In that moment I knew I had to let her know how I felt. “We gon be ok, you hear me,” I whispered as she nodded as a few unshed tears fell from her beautiful eyes as we both were chasing our orgasm.

“Say you hear me,” I said more demanding, sitting us up as she held on to my neck as I gripped her hips helping her keep pace, thrusting her even harder down on my dick.

The feel and sounds of her wetness was driving me insane. “Tell me you hear me Jasmine,” I moaned, sucking on her neck trying to leave my own mark. “Josh, I hear you!” She cried as I moaned in satisfaction hearing my real name fall from her lips in passion as I rained kisses from her neck back to her beautiful lips.

“I ain’t never letting you go, we workin’ this shit out,” I growled holding her gaze as I reached between us rubbing her clit, while meeting her thrust with equal power.

"Oh my God," Jasmine moaned as I knew she was close. “You gon’ cum hard for daddy? You gon’ gush on daddy’s dick ain’t you?” I said, taking her in a deep kiss as she whimpered in my arms.

“Mmhmm!” she whimpered in pleasure as our tongues danced passionately with each other as I felt her nails scratching my back as she fell apart in my arm. “Josh, I love you!” she moaned as I saw the look of ecstasy that washed over her as her orgasm took over.

“Fuck, you are so fuckin’ beautiful. I love you too,” I said feeling my dick get even harder as I kept thrusting. Yeah, you gon’ give me another one and it’s gon’ be big.

Jasmine’s POV

 “Mmhmm, I want you to give me another one Jazzy,” Jey growled reversing our position as he now towered over me, playing with my sensitive clit, thrusting long and hard trying to make me cum again.

“Josh, I can't, it's too much,” I moaned as sweat dripped from his face, falling onto my chest as he kissed me speechless “I…Said. Give…It…To…. Me…Now, “Jey growled against my mouth, each thrust more powerful than the last as my pussy gripped him like a tight vice, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

“Josh! I’m cummin’!” I cried as my pussy quivered and gripped him even tighter as another orgasm rippled through my body.

“Oh yea, that’s what I wanted, shit! Give it all to me baby, I’m cumin too!” Jey groaned loudly as he came inside me. I could only hear the heavy beat of my heart and our heavy breathing in sync as he collapsed beside me holding me close as we came down from ecstasy.

“You know you I ain’t letting you go right? We a family and gon’ stay one,” he said as I smiled. “I know and I ain’t letting you go either,” I whispered as he kissed me gently.

“When I’m on the road all I think about is you and lil man, you ain’t never gotta worry bout, nothin’ girl, I love ya’ll and I ain’t messin’ dat up for nobody he said as I tried not to get emotional. "I know, baby it's ok," whispered as he held me closer.

"I was outta pocket not stopping her from dancing all up on me like that, I promise it won’t happen again,” Jey said as I sighed tracing his arm tattoo.

“I love you and I’m sorry about leaving the club with Carmelo,” I said honestly as he growled. “You had my ass trippin’ I was ready to kill his ass, Jasmine. I don’t even wanna imagine you wit somebody else,” Jey said as I shook my head.

“Can we just drop it for tonight before one of us gets mad again,” I said as he laughed.

“A'ight new rule, we ain’t never goin’ to bed angry in this house again,” Jey whispered caressing my face as I smiled. “I like that rule, no more going to bed angry,” I whispered settling in his arms as we both fell asleep.

The end

 Taglist: @reci24 @southerngirl41 @vebner37 @jeyusos-girl

@melaninsugababy @romanreignkisser @bebesobrielo

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@empressdede @alyyaanna @christinabae @anonandwannakeepitthatway @venusesworld @jeyusosgirl @mya2real

[writing-till-i-am-dead]

Tyden oneshot

I give you: Tyden with onesided pining

Everyone jolted awake, panting and shaking with fear. 

Ashlyn gulped and clutched her head. “That.. was too close..” Ashlyn muttered, clutching her head. 

Aiden chuckled and glanced at Tyler, who looked terrified. 

“I’m.. gonna go make some coffee..” Tyler murmured, getting up and walking to the kitchen. 

“Hmm..” Aiden also got up and went to Ashlyn. “You good?”

“Ya.. ya, I’m fine..” she grumbled. 

Aiden turned and saw Tyler watching from the doorway before disappearing into the kitchen. 

Aiden curiously followed after him. He found Tyler leaning over the counter, letting the coffee pot fill. 

“Tired?” Aiden joked, leaning next to him. He was met with a glare. 

“No,” Tyler responded sarcastically. Tyler watched as the coffee pot finished filling. “How’s Ashlyn?” he asked awkwardly. 

“Hm? Oh, yknow.. same old same old,” he said with a shrug. 

Tyler sighed and poured himself a cup. “Mhm..”

Aiden grabbed himself a mug and poured himself a cup of coffee. 

Tyler watched, surprised. “I thought you hated coffee.”

Aiden chuckled and shrugged. “We’re out of energy drinks.”

“Hm…”

The two leaned against the counter in silence. Eventually, Aiden breaks it. 

“You’re shaking.”

Tyler looks surprised before tsking. “I’m fine.”

Aiden grinned and reached out and grabbed his arm. 

Tyler hated the way his heart felt. He pulled away. “I’m fine.”

“Haha. Cmon, no one who’s fine says it like that..”

“Since when did you become the master of emotions?”

Aiden shrugged. Tyler rolled his eyes. 

Eventually, Aiden decided to stop beating around the bush. “Your stomach. You’re remembering that night. With the tree.” He reached out and rested his hand on Tyler’s stomach. 

Tyler froze, clutching his mug. 

“The way you’re hunched over.. it’s hurting, isn’t it?”

No response for a moment. “You’re a bastard, you know that..?”

“Hah?”

Tyler grabbed Aiden’s shirt collar. “You never keep your damn mouth shut and leave people alone. You always gotta stick your nose where it don’t belong.”

“Woah, woah, man. Aren’t you overreacting?”

Tyler took in fast, angry heavy breaths before resting his head on Aiden’s chest in defeat. “Don’t tell Taylor. I don’t want her to worry..”

“Hm..?” Aiden had to admit.. he didn’t know what to do in this situation. He awkwardly pat Tyler’s head. “I won’t..”

“She’s goin’ through too much right now.. she’s worried about me enough. All of ya’ll have.. well, except you.”

Aiden’s eyes widened. “Hey, what?! What do you mean by that?” He asked with a forced smile. “I cared. You seriously thought I didn’t freak out?”

Tyler looked to the side, suddenly feeling a little bad. “I dunno. It’s hard to tell with you..” And I thought you’d be too busy making sure Ash was ok..

“You don’t give me enough credit,” he said with a sigh. 

Tyler felt a guilty sweat run down his face and he realized he was still close to Aiden. 

He quickly pulled away and crossed him arms. “Sorry..” he said quietly. 

“Hmmm?” Aiden hummed, tilting his head, not understanding why Tyler was suddenly so embarrassed. 

Tyler clutched his stomach, trying to ignore the queasy pain that came from it. 

“You really need to stop ignoring your pain,” Aiden, smirking condescendingly. Tyler loves hates that damn smirk. So annoying. 

Aiden reached into a counter and dug around looking for something. He pulled out some stomach medicine. 

“Ashlyn keeps medicine everywhere now, in case of emergencies.” 

He handed Tyler 2 pills. 

“Hmph..”

“Aw, you don’t trust me?”

“Not really.”

“Hah!!”

Tyler rolled his eyes and downed the pills. 

“Good. Now.. look, I know I’m not great at all this stuff, or whatever.. but I do know you’re gonna not only hurt Tay, but also yourself if you keep suppressing all this.”

Tyler gripped the counter and looked down. He hated it when Aiden was right. 

“But what can I do..? I don’t want to scare her anymore..” 

Aiden tilts his head and chuckles. “You let someone take care of you for once. Let someone worry about you..”

Before, Aiden would’ve been a hypocrite, but Ash had helped open that side of him up.. and Tyler knew that.. and he hated it (and he hated that he hated it). 

“Aiden..” Tyler started, taking a deep breath. “Aiden, I-“

“What’s taking you guys so long?” Ashlyn asked, walking in. 

“Just hanging out!” Aiden exclaimed. He seemed to light up around her. Tyler hated that he was hurt.. disappointed.. jealous. 

“Ya, well.. Tyler, Taylor’s worried about you. Cmon,” Ashlyn said, gesturing to the living room.

Tyler sighed and nodded. “Ya, ok.”

Aiden followed suit of Ashlyn, giggling and smiling even happier than before. 

Tyler clenched his fists and shook his head. He’s always had to repress these feelings for every crush he had (being a jock who’s also into guys wasn’t exactly praised in high school), but it still sucked. Especially since.. why Aiden..? Why someone as annoying and ridiculous as Aiden..? It had to mean that it was meant to be or something.. ugh, since when did he start believing in shit like that..?

He shook his head, sighing. 

Just need to stop getting my hopes up.

He entered the living room and saw Aiden holding Ashlyn’s hand. 

Just need to stop dreaming about stupid bullshit like that..

Divider by @cafekitsune

[justmeinadaze]

Take It Out On Me Part 24 (Steddie X Plus size You)

A/N: Im doing anything I can to keep these beautiful beings in our lives because I love them so much lol

Enjoy!

Warnings: Daddy Steve/Sir Eddie/ Sub Fem Plus Size Reader, SMUT, dirty talk, spanking, choking, handcuffs, slightly rough (the same that comes with these three), dp, slight degrading (whore, etc), FLUFF, *glances at image with knowing grin*, ANGST, the boys talk about how they'll never hurt her like their parents did them, readers weight is mentioned (she talks about her past relationships and how her weight played there sexually with how men viewed her as a big girl).

Word Count: 6084

“Steve. Eddie. Y/N and I need your help with something. Can you both come over by the theater downtown please and thank you!”

Masie can’t help but laugh when the BMW’s tires skid to a stop. 

“What’s going on, Maze? Everything okay?”

“Yes, Steve. Everything’s fine. Breathe and calm down a bit. I made that call because Y/N said you two could always tell when she’s up to something.”, she giggles as both boys huff, thankful that you’re alright. “Onward.”

Taking their hands, she yanks them across the street to a shop where a lot of fancy clothes were hanging in the window. 

“Gentlemen.”, Wayne smiles as he stands. “I’m supposed to help find ya’ll something to wear here.”

“D-Did someone die?”

“No, Edward. My God. Now pick a tux, please.”

“Ugh do I have to?”, he whines. 

“No, but trust me, you’ll regret it if you don’t.”

“Is he threatening me?”, Eddie whispers as he leans towards Steve.

“It sounded a bit like it, yeah.”

“Oh my God! Hurry! We are on a timetable here!”, Maze shouts as she claps her hands. 

While Masie helped Steve get into his outfit, Wayne focused on Eddie as he adjusted his wardrobe. 

“Y/N told me she was the girl you defended when she got pushed to the ground in middle school. It’s always been amusing to me the way you describe her…like she’s a fair maiden or princess.”

“She is. Honestly, she’s kind of what I pictured when I have a princess in my campaign.”

“But a badass princess who can wield a sword and stuff.”, Steve cuts in making him smile.

“She’s a good girl. I like her a lot and you to Steven.”

“Thank you, sir.” Wayne and Masie switch places as she goes to fix Eddie’s wild hair. 

“I want you to know that for what’s about to happen, Y/N did try and invite your parents but your dad hung up on her and your mom politely declined.” Steve growled at the thought of them disrespecting you. “Oh, I assure you, son, that didn’t bother her at all.”, he chuckles. “More than anything she wanted you to have family to be there for you—”

“When we’re sacrificed?”

“Shut up, Eddie.”, Wayne scolds causing him and Masie to laugh. “I told her that, well, Edward feels like you’re a brother to him which means you’re my son to so…”, he trails off as he pats him on the shoulder.  

“Thank you, Wayne. For everything.”

“Alright Miss Collins, we’re ready when you are.”, Mr. C announces as he appears from a back area. “Mr. Harrington…Mr. Munson…”

“Mr. C! Did you plan this? Are WE finally getting married?”

“No, Mr. Munson. I’m already married, thank God.”, he sighs in faux annoyance. 

“I’m ready. All right, close your eyes, boys, and NO PEAKING!”, Masie warns, prompting them to immediately do as she commands. 

Shuffling slowly forward, they feel themselves being lead somewhere before they are stopped and spun into a certain position. 

“Don’t move.”

“This where we make our last stand, Steven. Oh, and we’ll have witnesses.”, he retorts when he hears people giggle around them. 

“Oh, wow. You guys look so good.”, you breathily exhale as you take them in. 

“Y/N? What’s going on?”

“I thought about what you guys said about wishing we could get married. For a while I thought it was just something you thought I wanted but then I realized you both wanted and deserved a wedding to. Now, I can’t give you wedding either but I can give you a reception…”

“Ok, boys, open your eyes.”, Masie murmurs from beside them.

As they slowly do what she commands, the sound of someone off to the side taking pictures reverberates through their ears. Your friend had brought them into a small dance hall where other people surrounded you three watching the event before them. The entire Hellfire gang was in their suits beaming with pride while the other 3 members of Corroded Coffin stood patiently on stage. Eddie’s mom, husband, and her children were standing next to Wayne as he grinned happily at their reactions.

Robin and her girlfriend were beside your cousins with your uncle and aunt who flew down from New York just to take part in your surprise. Your mother wiped away a tear as your father pulled her closer to his side while Masie’s parents took pictures of their own. Mr. C and some of the kids from your class came down as well including a boy with a professional camera that you had hired to take photos of the event. 

When their eyes landed on you, you took their breath away. Maze, of course, did your make up in an elegant manner that made your eyes pop while leaving your hair down but curling parts just so that they framed your face beautifully. One side was pulled back with a silver flower clip that exposed earrings underneath and the sheer veil clipped to the back of your head.

The wedding dress itself was sleeveless with a flower pattern that blended in drawing attention to all of your gorgeous curves as the bodice hugged your body. The bottom had lace that puffed out ever so slightly blending with your veil as it touched the floor. 

Steve was the first to break, his palms clasping together over his mouth as he starts to cry. 

“Oh no.”, you giggle as you reach forward to wipe at his eyes. The room chuckles with you as he takes your hand in his and brings it to his lips. 

“You look so beautiful. Oh my god. I always pictured…imagined…but my brain didn’t do you justice, honey.”

Eddie squished his fingers in his eyes as his shoulder lightly shook. Grabbing his wrist, you lightly pull his hand away from his face and press your forehead against his. 

“I don’t deserve this. I don’t…I don’t deserve a gorgeous angel like you.”, he whispers.

“Yes you do, baby. After everything you both have been through, you both deserve so much more. I love you.”

“I love you to. You look absolutely breath taking.” As he wipes his eyes, he addresses Wayne. “Now you know why I describe her like a princess.”

The guests laugh again with a few awes mixed in. 

############

As the evening progressed, everything ran like a regular reception. Wayne catered the room with food he made himself that everyone enjoyed. You threw the bouquet, giggling in excitement when Robin caught it with her girlfriend blushing beside her. Your parents paid for the cake but instead of doing the whole smush the cake in your face thing, Eddie dipped his finger in the frosting and placed it on the end of your nose that Steve promptly leaned forward to kiss off.

You grinned as Eddie danced with his half-sisters while Steve did the same with Robin. When the metalhead’s mother asked to cut in your own mom disconnected from your father to ask the other boy if he would dance with her as well. 

“I’m sorry your parents aren’t here.”

“It’s alright.”

“It’s not. I know…we didn’t react well the first time we heard about you three but after seeing how you are together and everything you’ve done for her… I wish they could see what we see. It would have killed me to miss this.”

Steve glances towards where you were swaying with your father, smiling widely at something he was telling you. 

“Honestly, I wouldn’t have wanted them here anyway even if they did approve. My father has always been a stubborn asshole and he would have ruined this for her. I’m just glad you guys and Lynn are here for them.”

“Mr. Harrington, you don’t have to put on that protective suit of armor for me. You don’t have to be the big strong man 24/7. It’s ok to put that shield down.”

When your eyes meet his, he smiles and you deliver him a tiny wink.

“I’ve only ever done that with her.”

***

You giggle as Steve swings the front door to your house open and lifts you into his arms as he carries you through the threshold. Eddie runs in front of you two with a handheld camera Masie gave you guys as a present, recording you as the other boy places you on your feet and playfully spins you around.

“You really do look amazing in that dress, babe.”

“Why thank you, Eddie.”

He chuckles as he passes the device to Steve and picks you back up to carry through the threshold of the bedroom before tossing you onto the bed. You laugh as he falls in beside you and undoes his collar as Steve follows and does the same. 

“Did you guys have fun?”

“More than.”, the man responds, holding the camera above your heads so he can get all three of you in the shot. “Maze had everyone say a little something on this thing. Maybe we should say something to. We didn’t get to say vows or anything.”

“Like?”, you press playfully as you smile up at him. 

“Like I love you and you’ve completely changed my life.”, Eddie answers. “That I would do anything for you and I promise you’ll never have to worry about the same things my mother did.”

Your instinct was to stop and console him; to tell him you’ll never have any of those worries anyway but something also told you he wasn’t just telling you this but himself.

“I would never hurt you in anyway or our future kids. I won’t abandon you or end up in jail. I’m always going to be here for you and our family. You’re always safe with me, princess.” His palm grabs your cheek as he guides your lips to his. “For as long as we both shall live or some shit.”

You and Steve laugh at his curse as he passes the camera to Eddie so his own hand can come down to caress your face. 

“Your mom and I talked a bit while we were dancing. She said it was ok for me to let my guard down and that I didn’t always have to be the protector guy. Truth is she doesn’t know how high my wall actually was when we first met you. My parents made me believe I had to. My dad’s been scolding me since birth.”, he chuckles nervously as you turn your cheek further into his palm and kiss the skin. “Honey, you’re safe with me to. I’m never going to make you or our kids feel like they don’t measure up to some imaginary standard. I’m NEVER going to cheat on you or make you feel like you need to follow me around 24/7 to make sure I remain loyal.”

“I love you to, baby, and if our daughter or son comes home one day and says they are in love with two people we definitely won’t kick them out.” Eddie laughs as Steve grins and leans forward to kiss your smiling lips. “For as long as we both shall live or some shit.”

“Those first few months of our relationship, I was always so confused about you two. I thought Steve was a spoiled daddy’s boy and Eddie was just the town bad boy. People told me about your dad growing up, Ed, but it always seemed so out there. I never thought too much about it though because I didn’t know you. When I started getting to know you both, I got even more confused.”

“You were nothing like them and you still aren’t. I’ve never been afraid of you hurting me like your parents. More than anything, I was always afraid of being hurt again like with my ex. When you both showed me you were nothing like Christian, I became scared of hurting you.”

“That I’m A Burden damage?”, Eddie asked.

“Yeah.”, you giggle before sighing. “But I promise I never will. Eddie, you’ll never have to worry about me disappearing or casting you aside. Steve, you’ll never have to worry about me treating you like you aren’t enough. You both always go above and beyond for me. I love you both so much. For as long as we both shall live or some shit.”

Laughing, the metalhead turns off the camera and places it on the bed side table before nuzzling into your neck. 

“I have one more surprise if you guys are up to it.”

“Oh, honey, you’ve done so much for us already.”

“I know, Daddy, but this is kind of a thing is for me to.” You grin when he moves out of your way before pausing and pointing to the back of your dress. “Would you mind unzipping this part here, please?”

After doing what you ask, Steve holds your hand as you step out of it and lays it on the bed. 

“Would you mind putting this away for me while I get ready? And don’t get out of your suits! I think you both look really sexy like this.”

“Can we at least take off the jackets?”

“Yes, Sir, you can.”

Both men casually talk while they wait for you to come back out. Unlike in New York, the ensemble you were about to display for them wasn’t as complex. You wanted it to be simple and easy. As you stepped back out of the bathroom, Eddie’s eyes caught you first as his jaw fell open. 

The white nightie you were wearing was sheer as it did very little to hide your beautiful curves underneath. The spaghetti straps held on to your shoulders as the bottom just barely reached the middle of your thighs. Your breasts were blocked by the white satin but nothing was covering your core except for the see through garment. White stockings with cute little bows on the corner accented your legs as you displayed them side to side. 

“I was kind of hoping I could get mean Eddie and Steve but I didn’t think you’d be able to call me a whore in something like this. But…”, you coo as you place your hands behind your back. “With that roleplay we did, maybe, if you saw me as an innocent virgin… you could still be a little bit condescending.” 

After exchanging a look, their eyes fall on you again and slowly glaze over with a dark energy you had come to love when you three played together. 

“What makes you think we wouldn’t be able to call you names while wearing something like that?”, Steve asked with a slight edge. “You think just because you look beautiful in this thing here you’d be at some kind of advantage?”

“No, Daddy.”, you answer with a playful pout as you continue to guide them mentally where you need them. “I would never think to undermine big, strong boys like you that way. I just thought… this made me seem fragile…and you’d be too afraid to break me.”

“You say that like you don’t like being broken.”, Eddie sighs in annoyance as he rolls his eyes. “Baby, no matter what wrapping your in, you’re still a whore but—”

“You’re our whore.”, Steve finishes. “Always have been.”

“I have not always been a whore. YOU corrupted me. I was a good quiet little girl till you two came along.”

The rest of their demeanors caught up with their eyes as their smiles faded and they sat up straighter causing your breath to hitch at the sight. This is what you wanted, unable to contain a small smirk as they fully dropped into this particular dominate headspace. Now they just needed to help you fully step into yours. 

“Is that so? I specifically remember a few instances with empty classrooms, locker rooms, and storage areas that would disagree.”

“All memories that involve you two.”

“That you said yes to. That first night you didn’t say no or tell us to fuck off. Why is that?”, Eddie asked but even you knew it was rhetorical as he rose to his feet. “Because you, sweetheart, are a needy little girl who knew we could take care of you.”

“Did I?” 

You both stared defiantly into each other’s eyes as his chest rose and fell heavily. 

“So I see we’re doing this the hard way then?”

As you turned to glance towards Steve, you took note of his nonchalant demeanor as he remained on the bed leaning back on his palms. His eyebrows rose and fell quickly as if to challenge you to do what you were thinking. The way their eyes were burning into you so confidently pushed you into that innocent headspace that made you feel like the Y/N they first met; the scared, timid, introverted girl. You remembered the feeling of Steve staring at you and smirking when you got startled by the teacher. You remembered Eddie’s gaze boring into you as he stood in front of you, lingering over the desk when he asked why you were there and not even looking away when the other boy answered for you. 

You allowed that familiar feeling to wash over you and even though you had known these men for five years you suddenly felt afraid of how they were making you feel. They allowed you all the time you needed to get where you needed be mentally and when your gaze shifted back towards the metalhead, he knew you were there.

“Boo.”, he chuckled and as soon as the word left his mouth you ran. 

One benefit of having a home now was more room for the chase. That was honestly half the fun and it drove you crazy in a good way. Steve caught you first, cutting through the kitchen and blocking your exit as your practically barreled into his chest. 

“Whoa, baby girl! Where are you goin’?”, he mocks as he grabs your bicep and starts pushing you backwards. 

“Let me go!”, you shout as you shove your arms against him to no avail. 

His large palm roughly pinches your cheeks as he yanks you closer to him. 

“Stop. Fighting. We both know you want this so just take it like the good girl you claim to be.”

Something cold digs into your lower back and he quickly releases you long enough to grip your curvy waist and lift you onto the kitchen counter behind you. Steve’s lips crash to yours as he reaches between your bodies to unbuckle his pants, freeing his cock from his slacks. 

Spitting into his hand, you watch with wide lust blown eyes as he stokes himself a few times before guiding himself into your heat. He doesn’t inch his way in nor give you any time to adjust as he bottoms out and in this moment you welcome it. Wrapping your arms tightly around his neck, you inhale everything that is Steve as he pounds roughly into you. 

“J-Jesus, yes, Daddy. Please.”

Leaning back, his dark eyes lock with yours as he circles both hands around your neck and lightly squeezes. 

“Yeah? We told you that you wanted this. Fuck. Why do you fight it?”

“I’m sorry. I just want to be a good girl.”

Releasing his grip, Steve loops both his arms under your knees, pulling you closer to him as you balance on your palms behind you. At this angle, he slams into that soft spot deep inside you that has your eyes rolling as you whimper.

“You want to be Daddy’s good girl? Then fucking cum on my dick, honey.”

Trembling, you fall flat against the countertop as your back arches and your pussy quivers around him as you do what he commands. Chasing his own high, his hips aggressively hit your own till you hear him grunt and open your eyes to watch his face as he spills his release inside of you. 

As you both try and catch your breath, you turn your head towards the couch in the living room to see Eddie nonchalantly twirling your handcuffs on his pointer finger as his other hand palms the massive bulge in his slacks. The sight alone turns you on causing you to clench around the boy inside of you making him groan. 

“Better refuel, Stevie. We aren’t even close to done.”, the metalhead smirks as you look at him in confusion. “Oh yeah, princess. We’re going to fill all your holes tonight.”

After pulling out, Steve picked you up and placed your feet on the floor, promptly catching you as your knees buckled. 

“Oof. It’s ok, baby girl. Daddy’s got you.”, he coos as he guides you to the sofa and lowers you onto your knees in front of Eddie.

“Give me your hands, sweetheart.” You do as he requests and he kisses the back of each one as he locks the leather around your wrists behind you. “Oh, Harrington. Little girl seems to be behaving now. Your dick must be magic.”

You pout as they both chuckle before ringed fingers firmly grip your chin to lift your face.

“No pouting, little one.”, Eddie scolds as he loosens his hold and caresses your cheek. “Fuck me, you look perfect like this. On your knees looking up at me with those beautiful needy eyes.”

Sighing at his touch and praises, you turn your face into his hand and kiss his thumb as it runs along your lips. A low pleasure filled growl leaves his throat as he tugs you to your feet and yanks you towards the other side of the couch while unbuckling his belt. Flopping down onto the cushions, the metalhead pushes down his pants enough to free his cock and motions for you to sit on his face.

You hesitated too long; their eyes clouding over with anger again as Steve stomped around to where you were standing and spanked your behind making you yelp. 

“Why did I spank you just now?”

“Because you have to repeat yourself.”, you whisper. “But Daddy with my hands cuffed I can’t support myself—Oop!”, you hiccup when he spanks you again. 

“I don’t care, Y/N. Do you trust your Master?”, he scolds, his face pressed to the side of yours.

“With my life.”, you murmur.

“Then WHY are you hesitating when he’s telling you to do something?!”

“I’m sorry.”, you whimper.

Steve’s hands cup your cheeks as he turns you fully to face him. 

“Honey, that gorgeous woman we saw today in that stunning wedding dress deserves to be eaten out properly and cum as hard as she can. Eddie knows what he’s doing.”

“Unless it really makes you uncomfortable.”, Eddie whispers as he reaches out to rub your side.

“No, Sir. I’m not uncomfortable.”

Completely unbuttoning his shirt, he lays back flat and opens his arms. 

“Then climb aboard, princess.”

Keeping a strong hold on your bicep, Steve guides you till you were straddling the long-haired boy’s face. Leaning over his cock, you spit over his tip and watched it fall down his length as he moaned in pleasure. Eddie’s palm came down hard on your ass as his mouth wrapped around your clit.

Mewling, you tilted down and fully encased him between your lips as your tongue swirled around him. 

“Atta girl. Fuck, you taste so fucking good after you cum. Stevie, can you help me keep your cum inside her?”

“I’m gonna be leaning over you a bit. Is that ok?”

“Uh oh, Harrington. Are you turning into little miss here? I wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t.”, Eddie chuckled as Steve smiled and rolled his eyes. 

Sliding two of his fingers into your pussy had your moan vibrating heavily around the metalhead’s cock making him groan as his tongue flatted and flicked against your swollen bundle of nerves. 

Energetic hands roamed your body as Eddie alternated from clinging to your hips to sliding them under your nightie to roughly kneed your tits and play with your nipples. Steve clung to your shoulder, allowing you some leverage so you wouldn’t fall completely forward as he pumped his fingers deep inside of you. 

“Shit. Lower, sweetheart. Get me nice and wet.” You do as he asks, lowing your head till you feel his cock hit the back of your throat. “That’s it. You like that don’t you, dirty girl.”

A palm suddenly gripped your hair holding you in place as Eddie thrust his hips roughly, his eyes rolling at the sound of your gags.

“Don’t…Don’t let her up yet, Steve. FUCK!”

Squeezing your own eyes shut, you remained still as you allowed him to use your mouth. Tears stung the corner of your eyes as you felt and heard him grunt loudly between your legs before his spend shot out in ropes, hitting the back of your throat. While both men picked up their pace, you swallowed every drop he gave, whimpering as you fell against his thigh till you shuddered and came as well.

As Steve tried to help you off his friend, you both misjudged your balance and the two of you tumbled to the hard wood floor. 

“Oh shit. Baby, are you alright?”, he asked moving your hair out of your face and smiling when he noticed you giggling. 

“Yeah, Daddy, I’m ok.”

Eddie slowly slithered to the floor, throwing off his shirt and fully pushing down his slacks. 

“This part I think should be the other side of us you like. The nice and slow part.”, he grinned as he tenderly kissed your lips. “Do you need a blanket or anything for you back?”

“No, Sir, the cold floor actually feels good against my skin.”

“Come here, pretty girl.”, a now naked Steve murmured as he took hold of you and placed you on top of him. You couldn’t help but smile as he smirked up at you, his glimmering eyes raking along your body. “So beautiful, baby girl.”

Balancing on your knees a bit, you lifted yourself up just enough for him to guide his cock into your entrance. He tried his best to control his features but you could tell it was contorting in a mixture of both pleasure and pain. 

“Daddy? A-Are you ok?”

“Yeah…yes…I mean, fuck… I’m, uh, still a bit…a bit sensitive.”, he stuttered through pants turning you on even more. 

“Pfft. You had more time to recoup than me, Harrington, but trust me. The high is so much better when you’re sensitive. Right, baby?”

As you nod to his question, his palm tilts you forward till your head falls in the nook between Steve’s shoulder and neck. After spitting between your cheeks, he gradually pushes his length into your ass. 

“God fucking damn it.”

Both men take hold of your wrists, Eddie on your wrists themselves and Steve on your forearms just below, and slowly but firmly begin thrusting into you. You swore you could feel every vein and throb as they dragged against your walls.

Their moans were strangled as they tried to control themselves from just pounding into and ending the immensely pleasurable feeling they were experiencing. Because of this they had become uncharacteristically quiet so you took over comforting them in that regard. 

“Fuck, Daddy, baby. You feel so good. I can feel you both so deep inside of me.” His head turned slightly into your voice and in return you gently kissed his jawline to the shell of his ear. “I’m yours, Steve. Forever. I love you so much.”

Tugging your hair to lift your head, his lips kiss your own and you melt into them both as Eddie bends down to rest his chin near your shoulder. His rings bite ever so slightly into your neck, bringing your head back even further so you were level with the side of his face.

“I’m yours to, Eddie. I love you, baby. Please—mmm—please make me cum again.”

After a quick but sloppy kiss, the metalhead pushes back up onto his knees and slams into you faster as they cling to your body. With nothing to hold onto, you allow yourself to let your body go, trusting that they have a good hold on you as you slip into the euphoria and cum hard around them both. 

Eddie’s palms roughly grip your hips till he grunts and spills inside of you, smacking your ass for good measure as he empties into you. Steve soon follows, wrapping his around you as he thrusts his seed into your cunt for the second time that night. 

“Fuck me.”, he heavily exhales, pausing when he notices you wince.

“Slow. Slowly please.”, you beg.

“We got you, sweetheart.”, Eddie whispers, rubbing your back as he carefully pulls out of you and comes to your side to your release your binds. 

Once your hands are free, you try to balance them in front of you but you’re still so shaky that you almost tumble forward. 

“Whoa, honey. Like Eddie said, we got you. You took care of us today, let us take care of you tonight.”

“For as long as we both shall live.”, the other boy teases making you smile as he guides you off his friend and to your feet. Lifting you bridal style again, he carries you to the bathroom and sets you on the edge as he begins getting the bath together. 

“I’ll never understand how you two can pick me up so easily.”

The metalhead’s eyes flick towards you with genuine confusion before focusing on his task once again. 

“I mean, I just take you in my arms and lift. Nothing complicated to it.” Placing his palms against the porcelain, Eddie turns to face you, his nose almost level with yours. “Is there a particular reason you feel like it should be harder?”

“Baby, I know you two have never cared about my size but that doesn’t change the fact that I AM a big girl.”, you playfully whisper as you bring your lips to his.

“Have any of your exes ever tried?”, Steve asks from his place by the sink. “To pick you up I mean.”

“No…no actually.”

Kneeling in front of you on his heels, the man takes your hands in his. 

“Then, honey, how do you know you’re too heavy to pick up?”

You had genuinely never thought about it before. It was almost like a mutual understanding between you and the men you had dated in the past that you were a big girl so certain things like trying to pick you up was a no go.

“I think I’m noticing a pattern here, Harrington.”

“Oh yeah? What is it, Munson?”

Taking hold of your arms, they guided you into the water before taking their own usual places behind and in front of you. 

“I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark here and you correct me if I’m wrong, babe, but you never sat on Christian’s face, yeah? Had you ever before us?”

You shook your head to his question.

“Mhmm. And with your exes, how often were you on top?” A small knowing smirk painted his lips as he watched you slowly come to the realization. “Y/N, sweetheart, how many times did you ask for things like that?”

“I…I didn’t know how. I mean…I’m…” You gesture towards your curves. “Of course I’d be too heavy…right?”

“Why of course? You’re not too heavy for us.”, Steve responded. “Honestly, baby, you’re not heavy at all.”

Eddie eyes had continued watching your face as you absorbed what they were saying. 

“No wonder your feelings for us scared you that first time around. Dating douchebags like Christian made you believe certain things about yourself and your body. To suddenly meet two who were the exact opposite in every way. Hell, I’d be nervous to.”

“WERE you nervous? You said you never dated anyone like me before.”

“Uh huh. Probably because I never actually dated anyone before.” Eddie’s grin grew as you made a face at him like you didn’t believe him. “Why do you think I’ve never mentioned anyone? I’ve had, I don’t know, partners but no one ever really wanted to go out with me. I’m too mean remember?”

“Yeah you are.”, you tease as you lean forward to kiss him. 

“Stevie here is the slut.”

“Yeah, yeah calm down, Munson.”, Steve smiled as you turned to look at him. “I may be the opposite but my outcome was the same. I’ve never been in a relationship. Like your mom said, Steve Harrington…out on the town every night with a new girl on his arm. I think the closest I got was some girl I was with for about a month.”, he sighs before shifting his gaze to you. “This is going to sound stalkery but I was always more curious about you.”

“A little creepy.”

“Noooo… Don’t listen to him, Daddy. I want to hear more.”

“I’ll make you deal. I’ll tell you more if you let us dry you off and get you in bed.”

After kissing his cheek, you nodded your head and allowed them to finish their aftercare routine with you. Grinning like a kid waiting to be tucked in, you sat on the edge of the bed as you watched them organize the discarded clothes and place them aside to be dealt with tomorrow. 

“This was gorgeous on you, princess.”, Eddie smiles as he delicately places your wedding dress on a chair in the room. 

“Thank you. Masie came with me and we got to do a whole little bridal thing with my mom. I have pictures but we need to get them developed.”

“I can’t wait to see them.” Steve beamed as he threw a shirt over his head and jumped into bed behind you to start brushing your hair. “I’m glad your kids and Mr. C came. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Oh!”, the metalhead exclaimed as he bounced onto the mattress in front of you. “What did Mr. C say when you told him about all this? Was he jealous? I know that man is obsessed with me.”

“No, you goof.”, you giggle. “He thought it was a good idea. He, um, he paid for the venue. I insisted he didn’t have to but he insisted he wanted to calling it a gift.”

“Wow. That’s amazing.”

“I was going to tell you this tomorrow but my parents and Wayne also got us something, referring to it as a gift.” You point at your bag and Eddie hastily gets up to get it before sitting cross legged in front of you. You hand him an envelope, gesturing for him to open it as Steve finishes his task and wraps his arms around you as he waits. 

“Holy shit, Harrington.” 

“What is it?”

“Three fucking plane tickets to Italy.”

Completely bewildered, he snatched the contents out of his hand to look for himself. 

“They said it was for our honeymoon.”, you softly smile. 

“They didn’t have to do that.”, the man whispered.

“I said the same thing but Wayne told me to hush.”

They both laughed as Steve set the tickets on the bedside table and pulled you towards the pillows. Eddie followed and you immediately rolled into him, pressing your back into his bare chest.

“You were always so timid in high school.”, Steve stated as he turned off the light and shuffled down into the sheets. “So any time I saw you laugh or smile, I wanted to know more. In class, you were one of the first to raise your hand and when you were with your friends on the basketball team you were so animated.”

A pleasant sigh left your lips as he reached out to caress your cheek. 

“I was curious about what made you tick and I wanted to know everything about you. I wanted to be the one that made you laugh or feel safe. I wanted to be the one to give you everything you ever wanted. After we left that first night, I told Eddie how I felt. When he told me he felt the same way, I knew… I knew you belonged to both of us.”

Intertwining your fingers with his, you brought his lips to yours for a kiss before turning your head to do the same with Eddie. 

“Thank you for today, baby.”, Steve murmured. 

“And for every day before, sweetheart”, the metalhead added.

You can’t help but smile as your eyelids begin to get heavy.

“Till death do us part.”

#################

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[aarmaudiaries]

ya’ll i just had the most humbling experience of my life today so i’m gonna talk about it. for context i am in a school that is 6-12th grade, and there’s like a total of like 24 kids in the whole building (this is because it’s specifically a setting for students with mental disabilities and disorders- and is small on purpose to reduce stress levels) so some of my classes are mixed with little 7th grade boys. specifically my gym/health class because i am the “teachers assistant” for some reason (i did not sign up for this somebody save me /j) and basically i was just minding my business with my aarmau meemeows on my desk because a lot of people carry around plushies as like a support item, so i carry around my aaron and aphmau ones on days where i’m having a hard time and stuff. and this little 4 foot boy taps me on the shoulder and goes “those are from aphmau” and i had a fucking HEART ATTACK. i just stared at him and went “yea. you watch her?” and he got all excited. it was very cute. so we started chatting about it and i was like “oh who’s your favorite character of hers?” and he said ein and i was like interesting choice but ok- and we started talking about aarmau since we both knew a decent amount about them n’ stuff- or at least i thought we did. i was fully convinced we were on the same page but then he started talking about what videos he watches and it hit me like a truck. he watches jess’ CURRENT content. he watches COCOMAU. WHICH MAKES SENSE SINCE HES LIKE A SMALL CHILD BUT FOR SOME REASON I DIDNT REALIZE THATS WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT UNTIL HE MENTIONED LIKE A RECENT VIDEO. so i was just sitting there hiding my absolute whiplash while he asked me if i’d seen any of the videos he was talking about- and i confessed to him that i only like her older stuff from like 2016 and he was like “oh. okay.” HE DIDNT LOOK UPSET OR ANYTHING BUT I STILL FELT A BIT BAD. nothing was worse then when i felt like i was aging rapidly though. like oh my god i am an out of touch elderly woman. pleaseeeee someone put me out of my misery or something because that was so depressing.

but the worst part was when class was almost over and i took out my wallet so i could go buy some oreos from the school store once the period ended or something- and i forgot that i have my mcd aaron keychain hooked onto my damn wallet- so i half expected this kid to like notice it and bring it up in front of everyone. which would’ve been kinda embarrassing if i had to explain to everyone in my gym class who mcd aaron was. but alas he didn’t say anything. and it took me a second to realize the reasons he didn’t recognize the damn keychain was because mcd aaron’s design is DRASTICALLY different from cocomau aaron’s design- SO THE LITTLE BOY HAD NO IDEA WHO IT WAS. WHICH WAS SOMEHOW WORSE THAN HIM BRINGING IT UP CAUSE IT MADE ME FEEL EVEN OLDER. GOOD GOD 😭😭😭 IM CRYING LAUGHING WRITING THIS TOO BECAUSE ITS JUST SO FUNNY TO ME AND I DONT REALLY KNOW WHY?? I was just humbled so bad tbh it was very silly.

ANYWAYS YEA THATS MY STORY HOPE YA’LL HAVE FUN WITH THAT LMFAOOO

[shieldslinger]

also: for anyone who thinks steve is Always Right and Perfect and whatever–

here’s steve, losing his temper and bodily throwing his superior officer into the ocean twice.

you know i was gonna put a bunch of stuff in the tags but no it’s time for a rant

like. it’s really important to me that people realize that steve? has a huge temper. it’s big and volatile and he is not above letting loose. but the important thing to always remember is that he only punches up. he never lashes out at people in his care, or people less advantageous as him. he doesn’t go after minorities or those not as well off. he is impulse and passion and good, but that doesn’t mean he’s patient and a pushover. his goodness is not passive. his kindness is not a weakness. you piss him off, he’s gonna punch you–or in this case, throw you into the fucking ocean and skip you like a goddamn pebble. he is not always the source of wisdom and patience. can he be? sure. but when it comes to people abusing their power? hurting people who are at a disadvantage? nope, no, not ok, no chill rogers makes a big appearance. he’s a hothead, and you know, he 100% knows the consequences of his actions, he just does them anyway because he can. and like–what’re you gonna do, write up captain america?? for throwing you in the ocean? because you wanted to be a racist dick? yeah ok, see how that goes.

i’m just. ya’ll steve gets angry, and he loses his temper, and it’s a big, important part of his character

[knight-already]

“Did James isolate her by driving people away like we see him do with Snape  ?” 

From @avegollum97​ ′s post about Severus being a godfather to lily’s and james’ second kid.

You just gave me something to think about.

Because that’s what he did ultimately... and it wasn’t just him alone.

It was her Gryffindor friends too.

I headcanon that lily’s ‘Friends’ you know :  **Alice, Marlene, Mary and Dorcas **were like the mean girls of  Gryffindor the plastics of their year. The female marauders what have you.

"**Evil takes a human form in * Regina George ***. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that. She’s the queen bee. The star. Those other four are just her little workers. " -- Probably any person in their year

I actually don't know who in lily’s friends would be THE  Regina George, cause we don't know a lot about them, something tells me  Marlene but we don't know them all that well to make that call. Lily actually could be Regina but I feel like she was slowly manipulated so she would fit more of a Cady role.

I also wonder if they were in cahoots with each other, because they way I see it is that the school isnt huge and the Gryffindor's like to keep in their circles. So they must have friends of friends. what's more we dont know that James wasnt dating someone.

One of Lil’s friends who was like, “Girl if you don't want him... MOther may I?”

an Lily be like go for it idc. but gets jealous.

anyway with a group like them as Friends I imagine it is hard to make and keep new friends. especially if ya’ll know mean girls... They will destroy you mentally and emotionally just for funzies some may even get physically and whoop yer ass.

So eventually that would have put lily in a ‘all my friends are James friends

as we know the only friend that wasn't a Gryffindor was Severus

Here is an example of the fem Gryffindor's not being angles and possibly bullies, but bulling psychologically starting with Lily first 

to be fair they are fifteen so take that as you will:

For the sake of fairness, I like to imagine that time when Lily was telling Severus,

"Do you know what  Mulciber did to Mary the other day”

We know lily is a bias source we cant trust her to give a reliable story when a Slytherin is involved -- because she will underplay what the Gryffindor did -- she did this to a victim -- her best friend Severus.

anything James or Gryffindor does that isn't good or straight up bullying she 'ok defend. James abused Severus right in front of her he's, "an arrogant toe rag" but anything a slytherin does even for self defense is "evil and dark magic. "

Yo I’ll never forgive Lily for telling Severus after being beaten down physically and psychologically, cause he lashed out at her, “Your just as bad as them.”

Biitch get outta here.

anyway back to this: “Do you know what  Mulciber did to Mary the other day”

I like to imagine Mary picked on either his weaker friend, maybe embarrassed them and

Mulciber -- his hands are rated E for everyone.

so he taught that girl a lesson cause we done been known that the staff wont do anything.

I know Mulciber is a future death eater but right now he’s a kid. A slytherin. And I choose to look at it from this angle. 

I like to think being a death eater wasn't a choice for some kids. If they agreed or not, it wasnt up to them maybe some like bella were into it. but look at her sister, she married a muggle but at the cost of losing everythin. 

Look at Sirius and his brother. 

Sirius realized it was wrong at age 11 but lost his family and everything at 15 (thankfully the potters were there for him but some wont be so lucky) -- regulus at age 18/19

They had to overcome years of brainwashing and teachings.

I know some ppl in this fandom think it was a super easy choice for a kid fresh out of high school to abandon their family, and friends, their lives, their riches, their lifestyle and fight them to the death.. But its not. It wasn't. 

I like to Imagine that after lily spoke to him about  Mulciber Severus stopped hanging out with him. (Doing to Severus what those girls were doing to her)

only for SWM to happen and badabing badaboom Seveus gets over powered by James and Co.

THat attack happened after their defence against the arts exam for owls --

That class was most likely Slytherin and Gryffindor, so only those two houses were around. 

So after the row between Severus and mulciber, where number was like why can't we hang out anymore. And Severus doesn't give him straight answers maybe mulciber makes a guess at Lily being the reason. And says ssomething against her and Severus gets mad and says something like what would you know about Lily your just a death water spawn. and mulciber says find okay I won't help you again. And he doesn't he just stands there watching to see if the mighty Gryffindor take a stand since Severus seem so keen on them.

***

Keep in mind  though it ight seem like I'm ignoring the whole ass war going on outside. and Severus becoming a death eater and calling her a mudblood. I’m not.

Lily is not responsible for anyone's actions but her own. 

if she chose not to speak to severus again thats her call and she’s right to do so.

If she chose to forgive a guy who abused he bestie, that on her. (yes i blame her for that)

***

Severus wasn't innocent but he and the Slytherins in general have faults but not all of the even a few who did become deatheaters for whatever reason but regret it to this day. are evil. and I just wish ppl would see that. 

How dear JK cancel Slytherin, like it was the houses fault,

Knight

[wendytestabrat]

why family guy needs to shorten its seasons

ok so i just saw how s22 of family guy is gonna wrap up with only 15 episodes (this season was terrible, but i digress) i hope it stays that way because i think a BIG reason why family guy has gone downhill is bc the writers and staff are burnt out af with the huge episode load rather than it being a lack of talent. like ya’ll be shitting on modern family guy for being bad but then praise modern south park, well in all fairness matt & trey are only making 6 episodes a season now while the family guy writers make like 20 so i don’t think it’s rlly a fair comparison LOL. plus the family guy episodes take longer to make too bc of the animation, they take up to 9 months to a year while matt & trey make the south park episodes within 6 days. so yeah i’ve been wanting family guy to make shorter seasons FOREVER bc i feel like the show would benefit A LOT from making quality over quantity. it’s been hard for me to keep up with family guy episodes these days with how many bad episodes they keep pumping out. it makes it hard to dig and find which ones are actually good and worth watching lol. (which i’m on a mission rn to torture myself with a bunch of modern family guy to find those episodes bc i’m such a martyr like that, i’ll link the blog i did a while back on the top 10 modern episodes below) bc yeah family guy still comes out with good episodes and funny jokes every now and then which shows the writers are talented and do know how to make magic if they rlly try lol. (and i still think modern family guy is wayyyy better than a lot of shows these days) so i think the show just needs to make less episodes that are higher quality than 57382992 bad episodes. i mean literally every other popular adult cartoon these days has shorter seasons too. south park has 6 episodes a season, rick & morty has 10, bojack horseman has 12, even the latest futurama season only had 10 episodes lol, so yeah i think that’s what family guy needs to do too to keep up with the popularity of those shows and become the cool kid on the block again like it once was. (bc yeah back in the day family guy was like the most popular adult cartoon on tv and i feel like it deserves to become that again and has the potential to as well) ik family guy always had long af seasons but it worked in the past when the show was actually good and every single one was a masterpiece. that was something i appreciated abt family guy back then was how we were getting WAYY more consistently good episodes than south park (bc south park seasons have always been shorter than family guy seasons). anyway i hate it when people complain about the south park seasons getting shorter like ya’ll are dumb u do realize matt & trey are old af and burnt out right? LOL stop pressuring two dudes in their 50s who are close to the age of retirement to pump out 473892923 cartoon episodes. i feel like if south park had longer seasons the show could’ve gone downhill as badly as family guy did (and we did see the show getting pretty bad in seasons 20-23 before they shortened the seasons even more) so lets be grateful matt & trey are doing what they need to do to keep the show running and going strong still. anyway here is the list i did on the top 10 best modern family guy episodes a while back if u haven’t seen it.

this video is based bc they put “send in stewie please” at #1 too. people don’t appreciate how much of a masterpiece that episode is lol

[jungle-angel]

Out in the Middle: Part 10

Summary: Even in between competitions, the kids still find ways to go nuts

The small camping area amongst the many others on the rodeo grounds was crowded with the extended Dutton-Abbott clan as well as the ranch hands who were helping and even competing. The kids were also running wild with kids from other families, even making a few friends along the way. 

Rhett sank into the red and black Budweiser chair next to you, aching and sore from the bull riding competition and an obscene groan escaping his mouth as he took his place next to you in front of the firepit. “A little sore are we?” you teased. 

“Everything hurts,” Rhett groaned, kicking off his boots and sticking his feet close enough to warm his feet. “Even parts of me that I didn’t think existed.” 

“You get kicked?” 

“Nope,” Rhett answered. “Shoulder’s acting up again.” 

“Rhett James Abbott!!! You......!!!!” 

“Ok, darlin, before ya’ll say another word.....” 

“You said you were feeling better.” 

Rhett had opened his mouth to say something but the look on your face had told him to shut up lest he value the life of his nuts. “Ok.....ok.....ya’ll got me.” 

“The hell I do,” you told him. “I love you, but these kids are gonna need you around for as long as possible......and so won’t I.” 

Rhett kissed your cheek, pulling you and your chair a little bit closer to him. “Believe me darlin I plan on it,” he told you. “I ain’t goin till I’m an old man in my bed and with you by my side.” 

You felt his fingers curling together with yours, the fire crackling away, the smell of steaks cooking on the grill and the organized chaos of the campgrounds all around you. “Uh oh,” you chuckled. 

“What now?” Rhett mumbled, his head slowly lifting from your shoulder. 

“Looks like Teeter’s come bearing a gift.” 

“Oh God no,” Rhett groaned. 

Sure enough, there was Teeter in her beat up Carhardt, mud stained boots, ripped jeans and Astros baseball cap, holding two little blonde boys by the scruffs of their necks. Tate walked beside her as well, a sheepish look on his face and next to him a little redheaded boy whose face was littered with freckles, a pair of black rimmed glasses on his face and wobbling on his unsteady legs wrapped in their braces. 

“I think two o’ these lil animals belong to ya’ll Rhett Abbott,” she announced. 

“The hell did they get into now?” Rhett half laughed.  

“Well,” Teeter said, adjusting her hat a little. “Might be best if I leave’em ta tell the tale themselves.” 

Rhett motioned for the four children to come forth and sit in front of him and you. “Alright,” he said. “Ya’ll knuckleheads are gonna tell me what happened from beginning to end and no bullshit.” 

“Well,” Tate began. “Me, Tatum and Tanner were all done helping Aunt Teeter and she said we could go play.” 

“She said she’d give us a dollar each if we made a new friend,” Tanner added. 

“So now she owes us three bucks!!!!” Tatum declared happily. 

“Ok ok,” Rhett told him. “So you two made a new friend, this one I presume? What’s your name kid?” 

“Norman,” the freckle faced kid answered. 

“Yeah, Norman doesn’t walk so good,” Tatum pointed out. 

“But his mom and dad let him come play with us ‘cause they thought it’d be good for his legs,” Tanner added. 

“Alright,” you said. “Then what happened?” 

“Amber Warner,” the four boys all said at the same time. 

You and Rhett looked at each other as he made a face. He should’ve known that the little brat would be out for revenge after having come in dead last in the barrel racing tournament. 

“Her brother started pickin on Norman,” Tatum explained. 

“And so didn’t she,” Tate added. 

The boys went silent for a full minute, you and Rhett knitting your eyebrows together in confusion as to why they had stopped. “You guys not tellin us something?” Rhett asked them. 

Tate, Tatum, Tanner and Norman all bit their lower lips, trying to conceal the shit-eating grins that threatened to break out on their faces. It was then that you and Rhett both realized they had done something that neither of them would have ever considered doing in their wildest dreams. 

“What.....did......you......do?” Rhett asked them. 

“We lured’em into a bullpen and they both went face first into the mud,” Tanner snickered. 

Rhett bit his knuckles and you started laughing. “Buddy, I hate to tell ya’ll but that ain’t mud in there,” Rhett said, trying to keep it together. 

The four boys looked at each other wide-eyed and in shock, the two of you half expecting them to be grossed out. “ALRIGHT!!!!!” they cheered, high fiving each other. “WE MADE’EM EAT SHIT!!!!!!!!” 

They high fived each other and took off from their spots, hooting and hollering about how they had made the two bullies “eat shit” in the bullpen. Once they were out of earshot, you and Rhett burst out laughing. “Are they even in trouble?” you asked him. 

“Hell no darlin,” Rhett laughed, his face turning a bright shade of pink. “I’ll let’em each have a soda with dinner tonight.” 

You both would eventually have to have the talk with the boys about the matter, but deep down, you both couldn’t have been prouder.

[askthepuppetharbinger]

!!!NOW TAKING ASKS (SFW/NSFW) AND RP'S!!!

~BLOG RULES~

I would recommend reading this before interacting with this blog. I’m sure most people who end up here will know, but Scaramouche/ the Balladeer / Wanderer is a Genshin impact character who is verbally abusive and has a serious mean streak. Alot of content featured here will by some people be perceived as quite ’offensive’. If you don’t wish to come into contact with violence, abuse, cussing, etc. this is not the place for you. That being said, please refrain from interacting with this blog if you do take offense. If you don’t like this character, then I suggest you just stay way from him. Without further ado, here’s some tips and tricks that will make interactions between us easier.

Please never send in more than 2 requests, asks or rp's. I work a lot of hours and it gets hard when my inbox gets overrun with the same people sending in 30 requests at once. I love ya’ll but give me some time to clear things out before sending in a new message.

About gender: I’ve never been good at genderneutral writing and I feel it would break my immersion with the characters if I haflheartedly attempted so. I also don't wanna assume your Oc's genders. That being said, I am open for female and male, as well as nonbinary requests. If you want to, just make sure to specify the gender in your message.

I am open to all ships. I'll gladly interact with OC's and other Genshin roleplayers.

I will keep Scaramouche in character at all times. Depending on whether you’re asking about or rp'ing a stranger or we're working with an established relationship, his attitude can slightly differ, but I don’t plan on turning him soft for fanservice.

~INFO~ 

Name: You can call me Keith or Keef.

Pronouns: Her/He/They (I’m confused, ok?)

Sexuality: Asexual/Greysexual

Age: 27

My favorite Genshin characters: Scaramouche/wanderer, Childe

Hobbies: I am a cringey tiktok cosplayer ^^’ Full time geek, otome gamer and merch collecter. My main fandoms are Genshin and Idolish7.

Likes: Genshin, Diabolik lovers, Code realize, Frozen 2, cosplay, stuffed animals, Klance (Voltron), Stardew valley, fish (jelly fish, sting rays, squids, etc), merch, manga, anime, conventions, Danganronpa, Fnaf.

Dislikes: Moths, bumble bees, thunderstorms.

[stardreamer28]

SPOILERS for Sniper: GRIT! this was my live-cap for my bestie so forgive any rambling or shorthand lol posting for anyone who wants to squeal with me over yet another AMAZING movie!

zero is kinda miffed brandon made friends with his ex wife's husband lol. definitely some bro squabbling there but i love them both so much. ryan's a bit too caveman on the beard but they're both so hot lol. they have a new high tech bunker lol. i love how zero says he didn't know they thought LD was dead lol. the cult is basically similar to the one in iron man 3, that's how i see it. MAJOR show of muscles from both guys omg they make me wanna faint! zero's doing pretty good at taking people out after the last movie, i give him props. alot of the locations we saw in chad's video during filming. I love zero's way with languages, that's definitely his thing. damn brandon shot 2 at once! niice! LD thinks the dr is a nice guy but he's soo not. he sewed a tracker into her bullet wound. ok luna as LD - not completely as skilled as sayaka, she's more of a jujitsu leg kinda girl whereas sayaka was great with hand to hand. but luna is really good at aiming a gun & knife so we'll go with her. not sure if sayaka recommended her or not since there's no interviews. I think sayaka brought more humor to her version of LD, very on point. but luna's a bit more laid back. not bad just different. like steve & billy different as jase on GH. i like how we're getting a bit more focus on zero & how he cares about LD almost as a daughter. hehehe zero hid in the jeep cuz he didn't trust creepy dr. he called pete to track since their new techie wouldn't do it lol. 2nd baddie is LD's dad!! holy ninja!! ok luna's LD is REALLY good aim & the drama. he basically sold her off into being an assassin as a kid. how is that costa lady alive after brandon shot her?! how does that happen! even though the effects seem smaller budget it's still got the same action & humor, i love it! hehehe i love the part where they throw their phones up & shoot em, so cool! hehe the boys squabbling over the bad clothes. aww he got brandon a pair of sunglasses hehehe. pete found a new orange soda he loves lol. oh goddamn brandon laying on the car with his rifle mmm. they just realized they have to dig the tracker out of her wound OUCH!! ok that scene is cringey!!! mmm them all getting ready for a fight. all 3 shot the hitman tracking LD WOW! hehehe the colonel & pete make me laugh. I think the father wants LD dead cuz she tried to kill him first for turning her into an assassin? bit confusing there. ok seriously neither zero or brandon can break out of zipties with those muscles? yea right lol. zero getting all mad at her dad trash talking her, love it! oh here we go with the allout shootout with everyone! this entire scene rocks! brandon's got great skills as usual & zero's just freakin done with nonsense lol. LD going grappling & knife on the baddies, you go girl! aww pete! he took shots at LD's dad to get out of the compound. poor pete but he did really good! zero takes out half the goons with an uzi and gets so caught up in it lol. they all just look at him like are you ok. & when LD's dad is on trial of course she takes the killshot. not my alltime favorite of the series (ya’ll know that’s Rogue & Assassin’s End) & not as much of brandon's sniper skills this time which made me a bit sad but I like how every one of these movies shares each character's story equally and gives each of them awesome stuff. can't wait for another!! & oh damn as if i didn't like it enough ryan did the music for that big take down in the middle, i thought i knew his voice!!!!!!!

[deviantartdramanow]

Just a friendly reminder

If you are going to come in and shit talk someone on behalf of the person that was blocked, yer gonna be reported for block evading too and get punished alongside them.

Ever stop and think it’s NOT a good idea to go and bother that person cuz they blocked your friend or fellow cultist? Just leave them the fuck alone, otherwise you are PROVING THAT PERSON RIGHT ABOUT YOU. Tri and company need to realize this, fuck off and stop kicking and screaming like toddlers because honestly that racist doxxing joke of a blog of yours is a trashpile. No wonder the farms is having a good laugh at ya’ll, I would too at your miserable attempts at ‘helping people’ when no infact you are LYING and FRAMING people, and threatening them into silence when you cant do SHIT when it comes to freedom of speech. So with that being said, ya’ll a bunch of cock sucking losers who need to go outside and touch grass and get REAL jobs and not sit on your asses stalking those who dont like ya. Also trying to grab their IPs with that link, not ok tri, i hope the authorities punish you the worst possible way and make you regret even LOOKING at a minor the way you do. Also stop fucking lying about 'not being banned’ if you werent, you wouldnt have to keep sneaking in under AN ALT ACCOUNT only to be banned a day or so later afterwards.

If someone tells you to fuck off and leave em be, LISTEN AND STAY AWAY. Stop hovering around like a crazed ex stalker, it’s pathetic. You remind me of that one bitch with her bunny rape cult that kept pretending to be anons in her ask blog. That’s you right now Tri, having all your stupid fucking minions pretend to be randos to come out and ass kiss ya and pat your head because you have no real friends, only tools at your disposal who you toss away moment they become too troubling

Someone has you blocked? Stay away, reported you trying to yank more randos into your group chat btw. I hope you get a restraining order on your ass cuz of this.

[zzzaaaa]

Unfortunately, a story of cheating

“I feel there’s this mutual attraction between us,” he says looking at me with certainty that my secret has been revealed.

Moments ago, I watched him puke along the suburban sidewalk, after storming out of the bar, upset by a text he’d received from his girlfriend, my cross-country teammate from highschool and college.

I received a text from him earlier that night, asking if I wanted to meet up with him and some of our teammates at a bar. I knew I liked him, and I knew that I could also maintain a friendship with him, without acting on my feelings. Little could I admit, I was already acting on them.

So, with little hesitation, I replied, “I’m down! See ya’ll in a bit,” and arrived at a bar about 5 minutes from my home.

Most of the men’s team was there, none of my women teammates, yet I shrugged it off. “Heyy everybody!” I said with a slight awkward chuckle.

“Hey Megan,” they replied apathetically.

I’m used to this. My bond with many of my teammates isn’t strong, especially on the men’s side, except for Craig. I made my rounds to chat here and there with everyone and then checked on Craig.

He showed me his phone, “I love you,” it said, from him to Maria in a text message.

“Aww,” I said, with a slight pang in my chest, “see Megan, he loves her, not you, and you gotta let go of your feelings for him,” I willingly told myself, feeling a weight off my shoulders. I liked this breath of fresh air, being happy for their relationship, and happy to finally have made a solid guy friend.

“No, not aww,” he sternly said back. “She hasn’t replied to me for two hours, she’s mad at me.”

I looked to the side, feeling bad for misinterpreting the message, “oh,” I said, nerves growing back. “Sorry to hear that..” I didn’t want to pry further because that was not my business, that was not my relationship.

Craig heaved a breath of annoyance and left the bar. I looked at our other teammate standing nearby and shrugged, “damn,” I said.

“I’ll go follow him to make sure he’s alright,” Charlie said.

“Ok, good luck,” I responded.

“Now what,” I thought. At this point, I had admitted to myself that the main reason I came to the bar was to hang out with Craig, and now that he was gone, I guess it was the universe’s sign to instead hang out with everyone else there.

I wasn’t drinking because I knew I had to drive back home and also, I didn’t want to–wasn’t feeling very comfortable drinking with 5 dudes that I don’t get on with all that well, or at least didn’t feel close to. For what seemed like an hour, I actually spent twenty minutes or so making small talk with my teammates, listening to them complain about other teammates who weren’t there, talk about the brutal workout our coaches gave us the other day and their expectations of us at the upcoming championship seasons. I looked down at my phone, hoping for a text from him, but there was nothing.

“Well, Megan,” I said to myself, “He did invite you here, you might as well go make sure your one actual friend here is doing okay.”

“I’m going to go check on Craig and Charlie,” I said to my other teammates as I waved goodbye.

I didn’t walk too far down the riverwalk by the time I found Craig stumbling around, and then bending over to vomit, with Charlie nearby.

“Hey,” I said cautiously.

His last heave came out, and he looked over his shoulder. “Oh god, hey,” he waved back. Charlie handed him a waterbottle, and Craig swished and spat a few times.

“So this is why you left the bar, I didn’t realize you were feeling sick, damn,” I began.

“Well, not entirely why; I think alcohol’s dangerous combination of worry and poison induced this messy painting,” he pointed over at his throwup.

“Ah, true,” I said back. “Stressed by you and Maria?” I asked, trying to think of something else to add, “I’m sure she just needs time,” I suggested earnestly.

“Her and I have been fighting for awhile now…we have our ups and downs, as all relationships do, but, yeah we haven’t been good lately,” Craig started.

I felt conflicted, should I listen to him talk about his relationship without Maria here? “Craig and I are better friends than Maria and I are; if I were friends with a couple and I was better friends with the girl more than the boy, I would listen to the girl talk about her relationship woes, so I think it is okay that I listen to Craig,” I convinced myself. “Oh, really?” I asked surprised. “You and Maria always seem great,” I stated.

“Yeah, we are pretty good at hiding what’s going on behind the scenes,” he said. “But, we are going through a rough patch, and we have gone through them before. Did you know that we took a break once before?” he asked.

Taken by surprise, wide-eyed I replied, “No, what? Had no clue.”

“Yeah, it was because she kissed another guy,” he annoyingly explained.

“Oh, damn,” I looked down, nerves kicked in even more, “I’m sorry, that sucks, and also, something I would never see Maria doing, especially because I know she cares a lot about you.”

“Ha, well, clearly not at that moment. It happened sometime last summer..we were already arguing about different things, I, feeling she didn’t spend enough time with me, her feeling..”

He continued, while my mind trailed off, “Dammit, I wish I didn’t like you,” I thought to myself suddenly.

“And yeah, then I found out, she went to a bar and made out with a dude there, and our break started from there. It’s just so interesting because she was always accusing me of seeming interested in other people while there she went and completely made out with someone else,” he sorted out aloud.

“Yeah, it definitely is surprising..especially because, like you said, she worried about you doing that and then.. I don’t know, maybe something like unmet needs finally got in the way?” I tried to say sympathetically. “How long was the break? I really could not tell you were not seeing each other, you both really hid it well from the team.”

“Well, we got back together shortly after pre-season, so it only lasted about a month; she apologized profusely and I understood it came from a place of spontaneity, not lack of interest for me or the relationship. We really talked it out a lot about what we want to improve on and yeah, things seemed like they were headed in the positive direction,” he further explained. “But, there was always an air of tension..and uncertainty. She continued to feel like I don’t actually know what I want, or who I want,” he said rolling his eyes.

“Oh,” I said, in a surprised tone. “You are bi right?” I asked gently. “Has that ever played a part in either of your uncertainties? Maybe wanting to explore?”

“Yeah, I am, but I don’t know; I really do love, or I guess, loved Maria, that exploring the other side was mainly a fantasy..but maybe there is some unconscious role that plays out in our tensions,” he pondered aloud.

“Could be,” I said, looking over at Charlie who was standing away and looking down at his phone. “Damn, well I hope things work out for you both. What do you think you’re going to do?” I asked Craig.

At this point we had been far enough away from the vomit, standing under a streetlamp. He looked away and then looked at me directly, “I did see my tarot reading recently,” he began.

“Tarot? Ha, nice. What did it predict?” I asked, almost mockingly.

“Look, I know it seems like ‘hoo-hoo ha-ha, bullshit,’ but there have been times this shit has really lined up with my life, ok non-believer?” he teased.

“Alright, alright,” I backed up, surrendering, “I am curious, though, what did you glean from it?”

“It pretty much summed up where I’m at. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. I must decide what course of action is best for me and my growth, and I wish I knew which path to take,” he expressed in cliches.

“Ah,” I answered sincerely. “I think it is best to take into account that there are needs, explorations you truly have and maybe voice that to Maria while telling her that you also still love her, and from there, I think the both of you will find a solution,” speaking as though I were a therapist, clearly am imposter.

Craig nodded his head and again, turned his head to the side, looking around nervously. “Thanks for hearing me out with all of this, I think I’m just realizing all the time I’ve taken up…but you stuck around, and I really appreciate that,” he looked at me, almost with pity.

I shrugged my shoulders, as I often do, and simply said, “This is what friends are for.”

“Ha, yeah, friends…” there was a lingering silence beginning. From my periphery, I saw Charlie look up from his phone, as if he knew a turning point was coming.

“You know,” Craig started, “I’m just going to say it, I feel there’s this mutual attraction between us.”

My heart drops to my stomach, tying knot after knot, my eyes widen but only momentarily so I can catch myself from revealing too much. All I let out is a nervous laugh, “what?” I ask, in disbelief this is happening.

“Oh come on,” he jeers. “Ok, well I’ll admit I feel attracted to you. And, sometimes, I feel I am more attracted to you than Maria…like that one night last year we all went out to that club, I definitely remember wishing I could dance with you,” he further details.

Everything around me and within me is warming up; I feel so validated and uncomfortable all at once, “so this hasn’t been in my head?” I remind myself. I don’t want to reveal too much, and I don’t want to do anything while he is still in a relationship, especially.

“Listen,” I begin, “I have felt attracted to you,” I see a smirk form across his face, “but I respect yours and hers relationship too much to want to say anything other than, I think you and her should really talk about your feelings and see what happens from that.”

“We’ll see if she wants to talk, honestly, I don’t have much faith this will end well..” Craig responds.

“I mean you both have been together for a long time, there is at least that supporting you both so I think you will be able to talk and see what comes of it, even if it does mean taking a break,” I cautiously state.

Craig eyes me with slight suspicion, “so you’re not attracted to me currently, but you have felt attracted to me in the past?”

“I’m not saying anything else on that, I really think we make good friends, if anything else,” I say defending myself.

“Remember that time a few months ago, during Halloweekend, when you and I went to explore the cemetery on campus? And then Ellie came out of nowhere to see where we went off to, I feel like had she not shown up, you were going to kiss me,” he smirked.

I raise my eyebrows in disbelief, “kiss you? Haha, nope, was not even thinking that. You jumped into my arms, might I add,” I retort.

“Ah, yes, I did, but I could tell, you wanted to kiss me,” Craig continued to tease.

I shrug my shoulders, defenselessly, “Sorry if this is disappointing to you, but no, I actually did not,” beginning to feel annoyed.

“Alright, alright,” he says backing up. “I’ll leave it alone.”

“If you both want a ride back to campus, I can drive you, otherwise I’m gonna get going,” I suggest.

“Yes, please, thank you,” Charlie says, sounding exhausted, making me realize he is still around.

~~~ Next Day ~~~~

My text: Hey, I hope you and Maria could talk things out. And, I hope, whatever we said last night doesn’t make things awkward between us.

Craig: Hey, thanks for saying that, we actually did talk it out and really worked things out, we’re going to be okay. And no, it won’t, like I said, there’s this mutual understanding between us that I feel helps our friendship.

My text: Aw, I’m glad you talked it out and all worked out! Yeah, cool, I agree. See ya!

The night it all went down(almost a year later)

I’d overcome all my feelings or so I had thought. After Craig and Maria re-established their relationship, I felt no need to tell her what was said between us, that wasn’t my place, that is his, and besides, they worked it out. Attraction is a fleeting feeling anyways, it will all pass and I will always find someone else to feel attracted to, I already do. I tend to have multiple crushes at once, usually far away, so it’s more protective, but multiple nonetheless.

We’d continue to be in the same psychology classes, see each other at cross country and track practice, and attend film club throughout the year. We’d remain friends, and it honestly did not feel awkward or tense, it was quite relieving.

Something shifted when we arrived in New York though, the city was lusting with wonder. I immediately felt excited to be in Manhattan, walking around and observing all the different people, trying all the different coffees and donuts. I felt almost invincible.

We arrived there along with thirty other classmates to present arguments at Model UN Conference. I was excited to spend time with them especially newly formed friendships like with Zoe, Rakiya, Matt, and Parker, a very new friend whom I was very surprised I’d never spent more time with; my attraction for him had already started to grow.

Craig and I had been growing apart for what felt like a couple of months now. I had been actively trying to not put too much energy into our friendship or any lingering feelings of something more towards him, I was content with it, sometimes friendships grow apart.

(write about sorting things out first day as UN group, going out seeing craig flirt with other perso talk it out with Tim and decide to just leave it be)

Parker, Zoe, and I sat around a table at a fancy restaurant, clearly not belonging, but assuring each other that we did. Drinks were ordered pretty quickly, and the dim lighting from the candles edged my high—I’m loving this camaraderie. Whatever Parker or Zoe said made me laugh like I was a little kid again; I was so surprised we’d never all talked before; the jokes bounced off each other like a comedy group performing improv—we were enthused by each other’s ideas and stories, making sure we each felt heard and validated, and we enjoyed food, without shame.

We left dinner and though Zoe said she would meet back with us later, Parker and I kept walking around the city that never sleeps. Taken by my sudden feelings for him, I tried to view him as just a friend as to not let my nerves get the best of whatever social skills I deeply wanted. My buzz, the energy of the air, all made me forget what we were talking about, but I continued whatever conversation we had, while noticing a drizzle begin.

“Of course,” I imagined a cheesy movie moment. I felt so naturally drawn to walk shoulder to shoulder with him as if a magnet were between us.

“I suppose we should head on back to the hotel, in case it downpours,” Parker suggested. Part of me fell disappointed, I didn’t care about the rain; I wanted to keep his company.

“Ah, yeah, good idea,” I agreed.

“What are your plans for the rest of the night anyway?” he asked.

That question reminded me that I actually did need to go back to the hotel to go to a club with some of our other classmates. “Oh shoot yeah, Im going to “the 30” tonight with some of the other people, already paid for the table, are you going?” I asked hopefully.

“Noo, avoiding that mess. Besides, I’m on duty tonight,” he explained. I forgot that Parker was one of the “leads” of the trip, so though he got his trip paid for, he couldn’t go out with any of us after 10pm.

“Ohh yeah, totally forgot about that rule, damn, it would be fun if you could come out though,” I said dropping some of my hints of interest.

He shrugged his shoulders and walked forward towards the hotel door. His walk even had character; shoulders wide, yet slightly hunched and built like a wrestler, as his eyes focused forward like he was following a set of clues. “Damn, he’s hot,” I thought briefly to myself as he held the door open.

“I really wish you could come out with this,” I said one more time.

“You know, you could stay here, I’ll be around,” he suggested.

I didn’t want to leave Parker, and maybe he was the sign of where I should have stayed that night, but I had already paid $40 to go to a club with my other classmates for the rest of the night, so I followed my wallet to the pre-game in Room 310, reluctantly saying goodbye.

As soon as I walked into the pre-game, I saw Craig tango-ing with another guy and was refreshed by this sight–finally some openness to this otherwise conservative group of college students. Another classmate immediately handed me a shot and we cheersed. I stood in place, observing the room to see whom else I could talk to and hang out with tonight, but all I could think of was wishing I had continued to hang out with Zoe and Parker, instead. The alcohol in the back of the room called my name. As I poured myself another shot, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around.

“Gotchya!” Craig’s face peaked over my other shoulder.

“Ayye!” I said back. “Saw you tango-ing earlier over there, well done!”

“Ah, yes, yes, thank you. I see you’re pouring yourself another shot, wanna pour me another?” he suggested.

“Oh yeah, for sure. What are you drinking?” I asked Craig.

“Mmm..,” he said eyeing me, “I’ll have what you’re having,” he led on.

My eyes widened a bit, feeling a slight pulse charge through me, “Alrighty, cheers, then,” I proposed handing Craig his shot.

We threw one back, and Craig looked over at the table, “hey, a deck of cards,” he pointed out.

“Ooo,” feeling a ping of excitement, “Wanna see a magic card trick?” I laughed.

“Uhh, hell yeah,” Craig responded nearly offended.

I shuffled through the cards and fanned them out in front of him, “Alright, pick a card, any cahhhd,” my unrealistic New York Accent started spurting out.

Craig and I looked at each other, he grabbed a card, and before I could tell him to memorize it, he put the card down the front of my dress, “oops,” he teased.

I tilted my head in surprise, “you’re drunk,” I said to him.

“Oh yeah, that’s true,” he agreed.

“I”m gonna go to the bathroom,” I said and walked away from the suspicious scene.

“Did he just do that?” I asked myself in my head. “He’s just being friendly and playful, right? It doesn’t mean much, Megan, it really doesn’t mean much,” I tried to assure myself as I took a leak.

“Time to head out!” one of my classmates shouted. We all shuffled our way out the door and headed towards the lobby. I found Craig waiting outside with a couple other classmates.

The New York night air felt charged with excitement, any doubts or hesitations I once had, flew away with the bustling traffic.

“Heyy, can I catch a ride with you guys?” I asked Craig as I walked up to him.

“Oh yeah, for sure, let’s hail a taxi,” he said as he put his arm up in the air.

The taxi pulled up and the tallest dude took the front while the three of us crammed into the backseat, Craig taking the middle. We were all buzzed and eager to get to the club, talking nonsense, and looking up at the buildings that passed by.

Craig looked over at me and then tapped the tip of my nose.

My face blushed and all I could think to say was, “okay..” laughing and shaking my head.

Once we arrived at the club, we crammed into the elevator, losing sight of any of the people I rode in the taxi with, and rode up to the club. Inentered a dark room blasted by colorful lights and a packed dance floor. “Goal tonight,” I thought to myself, “Dance with a stranger and make out with them.”

I wasn’t sure where Craig went to, but I figured we’d meet up again sometime later. I scanned the dance floor and jumped in; I wanted this outing to be worth leaving my budding romantic interest back at the hotel. “Maybe I should talk in a British accent just for the hell of it,” I intrigued myself with. And so I did. Any new person I introduced myself to would begin with, “‘Ello!” And end in reply with, “yes, I am British,” laughing in my head over and over. “Am I crazy?” I did ask myself at one point to which I subsequently decided, “possibly.”

Inebriation started to wane so I made my way to the bar for a pick-me-up. “Damn, I can’t even get a guy to buy me a drink; I must be ugly,” this thought was not new, it was a persistent, deep-rooted insecurity, coupled with, “no wonder I’ve never had a boyfriend, just random hookups probably because they just want something to fuck, god you’re pathetic,” my mind loved this angle of attack. I stood there waiting for the bartender to notice me when I felt a familiar tap on my shoulder.

“Craig!” I excitedly said. I did feel comforted by his presence, especially after my episode of low self-esteem.

“Heyy Megan, I was wondering where you went to, what are you ordering?” he said one after the other.

“Honestly, I actually don’t know, I’m just trying to stay drunk,” I unabashedly admitted.

Craig’s eyes widened in amusement. “Cheers to that, I’ll order us some shots,” he said.

“Ok! I’ll venmo you later, just let me know how much,” I told him.

The bartender noticed Craig quickly and before I could blink, four shots of straight vodka laid before us.

“Cheers to one,” his eyebrows raised. We toasted and scrunched our faces in disgust.

“Cheers to number two,” I said squeamishly as we toasted again.

“Can I tell you something?” I began to feel the truth serum override my mental brakes.

“For sure,” Craig said.

“Ok, please don’t say this to anyone, but I’m a little bummed because I started to like Tim a couple months ago, and I thought it was mutual, in fact I thought he had liked me before I started to like him, and then turned out, he actually liked Hannah, as we both know since they are now dating,” I poured out. I was surprised I was even bringing this up because my crush on Tim wasn’t all-consuming like most my other crushes usually had been.

Craig looked at me sympathetically, “Really? I am actually sorry to hear that,” he patted me on the shoulder.

“Eh, it’s okay, thanks for hearing me out, sorry I shared that, I was not expecting to..in other news, I’ve been telling people I’m British,” I said to quickly change the subject.

“Bri-itish!” he replied in harmony.

It felt good to let out a laugh and feel understood by someone literally close to me. “Yes,” I replied in my Britishness, “and I hope to snog one of these fellas on the floor tonight,” I whispered into his ear.

He patted me on the shoulder again and responded, “Oh we will make that happen! I have an idea, let’s pretend that we’re swingers looking for couple to switch dancing partners with, I’ll be your wingman.”

“Wait, that’s actually so nice and pretty brilliant idea you just came up with,” I said actually surprised. “But, wait, it’s okay that you dance with other people?” I suddenly realized, acknowledging that him and Maria are in a relationship.

He dropped his accent as his face shifted to a stern look for a second, “oh yeah, no, we’ve said it’s okay that we dance with other people.”

“Oh! Ok sweet! Let’s Cheerio then,” I said improperly using British slang.

We made our way to the dance floor, bumping into others, trying to find the right couple to suggest a swap with. “Is he your type?” Craig would ask, motioning with jazz hands.

“Ehh, not quite,” I said back stepping side to side. “Oo, but that guy over there,” peeking over Craig’s shoulder, “what’s my chance with him?” I asked.

“Let’s go for it!” he exclaimed. “But, let’s make it look like we’re a couple, ya know?” he said putting his hands on my hips.

I looked down at his hands suddenly wrapped around me. It felt normal, natural almost, like we’d done this hundreds of times before. “Okay, yeah,” I said with little hesitation.

He stepped in front of me unexpectedly and his scruff brushed across my cheek. I took a step back, caught by surprise, and brought my hand to my face.

“Oh, I’m sorry about that, I didn’t mean to—“ Craig began, but I interrupted him giggling.

“No, it’s okay..it actually felt..good,” I admitted, still laughing.

“Oh it did, did it?” he asked flamboyantly. “Maybe I should do it again, then,” as he grabbed my waist, pulled me closer, and nuzzled his head against mine.

I wanted to stay leaning in his arms, it all felt so good. But, as quickly as he pulled me in, he pushed me away, not to get away from me though; he held my elbows and looked at me. “Can we go over there?” he nodded his head towards a pillar a few feet away.

I shrugged my shoulders, “sure,” I said.

We backed up behind the pillar. “So, I’m feeling something between us here, right now,” he began.

I interjected, “Me too."

“Im wondering, if what happens here, stays here?” he wondered in cliche.

It didn’t take long for me to affirm this suggestion, “Yes, what happens here, stays here.”

“Can I kiss you?” he asked me quickly after this.

Nothing felt more right, “yes, please,” I encouraged.

Our lips matched perfectly, our rhythm in-sync, my fingers ran through the short black hair on his head while his hands moved all around my hips—it felt amazing.

We stumbled across the floor, tripping over ourselves and onto the couches set up above the dance floor. A few of our other classmates took notice and we both drunkenly said, "please, what happens here, stays here." They laughed at us and walked away.

"This might sound crazy, but do you want to have sex?" Craig asked breathlessly.

I nodded feverishly. "Maria who?" I didn't even think to myself at the time. My mind was completely focused on enjoying every moment of this forbidden pleasure.

We laughed our way down the steps, holding hands along the sidewalk, bantering about god knows what, until we made it to the 7-11.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Craig asked me, wide-eyed.

"Yeah, no, I'm sure, let's get the condom," I said assuredly.

After making out for a while longer on the sidewalk, we made our way back to the hotel, and decided on whose room we'd have sex in on the elevator ride up.

"I really can't in mine because Rakiya is asleep in there, and she will for sure wake up," I told him.

"Crap, well, Muhammad is in my room asleep so we can't have it in my room either.." Craig said disappointedly.

Part of my excitement fell, and part of it shrugged, "well you can't get everything you want," I told myself.

.."How about my shower?" Craig suggested.

My excitement ramped up again, "fuck yeah, let me go to to my room first, and I'll meet you back there."

I hurried off to my room, "wow, this is happening," I said to myself, "this is actually happening."

I quickly looked at myself in the mirror, too drunk to truly care how I looked, put on some chapstick, and quickly wished Parker would come out of his room to see me as I leave, or maybe he could have stopped me.

"I'm outside your room," I texted Craig.

We quietly snuck into the bathroom with his roommate snoring in the bathroom. The shower steamed the mirrors and, quickly we tore off each other's clothes and sloppily moved our hands and mouths all over each other.

The problem was its anticipation was much more pleasurable than the actual drunken sex. After it was all said and done, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw how horrific I actually looked; makeup smeared, acne flared, hair greasy with sweat--I had to get out of there fast. "I'm going to go shower and then, meet you back in the hallway?" I asked Craig.

"Yeah, sounds good," he said.

"Fuck," I thought to myself, "I just did that. Woah..I just did that." It was a confusing mixture of validation, excitement, and slowly added to the mix was impending guilt.

After cleansing myself of what felt like sin, I met back up with him outside the elevators. We sat down on the radiator and watched a funny clip of "The Daily Show," on his phone, with my head resting on his shoulder. "Oh no," I thought to myself, "here comes the desire for more, except not sex, but more intimacy." He looked down at my head and gave it a kiss.

Sooner than we expected, people from the club walked out of the elevator, "Well, where did YOU two go off to I wonder?" a few of them snickered.

We laughed and looked down. I scooted a bit away from him and let them pass by. The itch to leave the scene was growing, "so," I started, "what happens here stays here?" confirming once more.

"Yes," he stated.

The next morning I felt a surge of ego, and it was apparent to others who weren't even at the club. I came downstairs to the lobby and people kept telling me, "Megan, you have a glow about you." I saw Craig smirk to himself, knowing it was partly his doing.

"Oh really?" I laughed, shrugging, "uhh, thank you."

I met up with my sister shortly after that; as soon as I saw her, the reality of what I did set in. Something about seeing that familiar of a face reminded me of who I'm supposed and what I'm supposed to represent--infidelity not being on that list. Guilt started to twist knots in my stomach as I could barely look her in the eye, but I acted as though I was just hungover and still having a good time.

On the plane ride back to Illinois, Craig asked if I wanted to sit next to him; our other friend Tim had no idea what happened and gladly let me sit where he was going to sit. Craig and I rested heads on each other's shoulder and watched comedy shows together. "We're taking this to the grave, right?" I asked him. "Yes, till death," he ominously replied.

We arrived in Chicago and parted ways off the plane as I knew his girlfriend would be there to pick him up. As we were waiting for the baggage to arrive, I saw her slowly walking towards Craig with her arms crossed. It seemed like she already knew. I looked her way and gave a small smile, too guilty to act any happier, and she gave me a small smile back. She knows, I thought to myself, she already knows.

Guilt continued to grow as I continued to smother it. I convinced myself it was a one-time mistake, we'll never do it again, and it'll be a secret I have to live with for the rest of my life. Even once I got home and unpacked, I carried on with myself as though it did not happen, until I received a text from Maria.

"Hey Megan, Craig and I are together at his house right now, and I think it's important we all talk," Maria said.

"Okay, for sure. Today?" I asked her.

Maria replied, "That would be best."

I continued to convince myself Maria did not know what happened, that it was all a guess she had, but that Craig did not tell her anything, and so long as we both kept it a secret, we'd never be found out and they could stay together. My mind was drowning in delusion.

I knocked on Craig's door, and he opened it without looking me in the eye. I walked into his front living room and Maria was sitting on a chair across from Craig leaving the chair next to him and her open. I moved past Craig with plenty of space between to make it look like we do not easily touch and sat down in the empty chair.

"So," Maria began, "I understand that you and Craig went out on Saturday night in New York. Can you tell me what happened that night, Megan?"

I looked at her and then at Craig to see if he could give me any signal, but he kept looking down. "Yeah," I began, "Craig and I went out with a bunch of other classmates to a club. First, we pregamed in someone's room, um I think Craig and I took some shots together, and then took an uber with a few others to get there. We got there and I lost connection with all of them including Craig, and then, we met up again randomly at the bar, and I told him I was just trying to dance around find someone to makeout with and so he said he'd dance around with me too, and then we got super drunk and yeah, pretty much danced until the club closed," I explained nearly out of breath.

"Did anything else happen?" Maria asked me.

Again I looked at Craig for some signal, but he continued to look down.

"Umm..no, not that I can remember," I said back.

"Hmm, wow, Megan, I can't believe you're really going to sit there and lie straight to my face. You're a supposed champion of women, with the feminist club you created, yet here you are lying to not only a fellow teammate, but I thought, friend. I know you had sex with Craig that night, he told me, so please, tell me everything that happened, every detail you can remember from that night."

Immediately humbled, immediately punched in the gut, I hung my head low, "I am sorry. I am so sorry. You are right. I am so sorry." And so I told her every detail, every little thing I could remember. "It was a drunken mistake, I thought because of how drunk and unmeaningful it was, it made more sense to not tell you, to keep your guys love going; this sex meant nothing." Craig finally looked up at me.

She nodded her head by the end of it, "Thank you, Megan. Craig and I will no longer have a relationship. There is no going back after this. I am still processing that this happened, between two people whom I thought I respected and trusted, but I am still processing this. I have to tell my parents whom also respected and trusted the both of you, I have to replan my future, there is a lot I have to process. I will reach out to you again when I am ready to accept your apology," she stated so calmly.

"That's fair," I said quietly. I left his house, suddenly upset and disappointed with myself. "How did you do all of this? How could you not have cared? How did you let this all happen? How did you lie so easily, how did you lie so easily?"

It didn't take too long for Maria to reach out to me, probably within two weeks she did. I didn't know I was about to get myself into another delusion of denial and guilt following it all. She warmly welcomed me into her home with candles burning and incense scenting the air; I had never been to her apartment before, we had never hung out, quickly, I wished we had. I saw my ego's mistakes, "lusting after male attention blinded me to the friendship I could have grown with a wise woman after all these years.. but I always was a woman's friend first, I pleaded with myself, why couldn't I have finally had a guy friend? Because you know it was more than friendship you deeply felt between each other."

"So," Maria started, "I want to talk with you as many times as you need, to help you get through this."

What? My mind raced, "how could she possibly want to help me?" it spun with guilt.

"Megan, I have already accepted your apology and forgiven you, but I need you to talk with me further so I can better understand how to help you forgive yourself, because if you don't, this will live with you, this will haunt you. And I need to tell you some things about myself, about mine and Craig's relationship, to help you better understand how this all eventually happened," she explained to me.

Further along... (revise someday)

"He raped me. I told him, I don't feel like having sex tonight, and what did he do? He continued to anyway. At the time, I didn't think of it as rape, because he's my partner, he loved me, but the fact of it is, that was rape," she told me.

I felt sick to my stomach. What the fuck? I thought to myself, getting angry. What the fuck? How the fuck could he do that to her? That's atrocious. Intersetingly, these are reactions and words I would have had towards cheaters too, prior to becoming one.

That confession eventually eluded me, as desire set back in. I want to talk with him, I miss him. I miss a cheater and a rapist, wow. I miss someone who I told the ex-girlfriend of I would never talk to again. But, I miss him, and we never got to talk things out ourselves, sort though it all again ourselves.

We parted ways from the park after saying each other's peace, explaing to him, I won't talk to him again but to have a nice life.

But, delusion and desire for connection never left me, and so I would reach out again a few times that same year to check in and say hi. Still overlooking the fact that he cheated on his ex and raped her during their relationship. I still wanted to talk with him.

So I confessed to her, I can't keep talking to you like I'm not also being two-faced, I am sorry, I have reached out to Craig to catch up again. I am sorry. I understand if you don't talk to me again. And she doubled down on her forgiveness for me, “I have already forgiven you, it’s time for you to forgive yourself so you can get rid of guilt.”

Guilt never leaves, guilt lives with you, makes me question all my decisions, makes me hyperaware of my feelings of what I wonder could be attraction and to stop acting on them, makes me uncertain of myself and my impulsive behaviors and ability to lie so well, it makes me unsure of myself. Maria was right, guilt haunts me.

[lovelykhaleesiii]

I am so glad you liked my blurb babes 🤭💗💗 i am loving the great so far! Thanks to nonnies for that 😘

And also, I just realized that I've been spelling Helena's (our best girl) name wrong- its spelt Helaena- ok im gonna jump off a cliff now- bye-

-🔥

yes I love all your ideas!!!! ya’ll are too creative for me, I can’t keep up 🤭😩

oh that’s me!!! Don’t worry, the amount of times I have to stop myself and make sure it’s correct before posting, ugh- we love our Queen Hel 😩💗

[or-something-better]

September 20, 2022

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This weeks Writing Topic is brought to you all by your favorite Techy Charlie "What is the Biggest Lesson You’ve Learned?"

((And Dean you can't say "Not feeding my Mogwi after Midnight" 😄))

……………………………………….

Ruby

What is the Biggest Lesson You’ve Learned?

When you’ve lived as long as I have, you can’t help but have learned quite a few lessons in life…

Things like;

You Can’t Please Everyone ( you know that’s true! So I just gave up trying.)

You Don’t Always Get What You Want, (If I had a dollar for every time THAT was true!)

It’s Not All About You (Ok, sometimes it is, but mostly, it’s not.)

Patience Is a Virtue (I call bullshit on this one. It just makes me want to pull out my dagger and stab someone.)

Life Is Not Fair (Ok, this ranks right up with ‘You Don’t Always Get What You Want’)

Don’t Hesitate When You Should Take Action  (Ooh, this is a certifiable fact! Barely got out of a few situations because of that!)

Don’t Take Anything for Granted (I’m beginning to see the logic in this one.)

But the number one lesson that’s I’ve learned in my very long life is:

Family don’t end in blood.

…………………………….

Sam

*What is the Biggest Lesson You’ve Learned?*

Wow. That’s a lot to think about... I guess I can say that I’ve learned a LOT of big lessons throughout my life and I think I’ve been pretty open about sharing some of them with you guys. Chuckles Even if ya’ll weren’t always interested in hearing them.

Picking the “Biggest” from all of them… I guess I’m going to have to go with my revised feelings about Dad, John Winchester, and how he brought us up. You know, back when it was all happening, I was absolutely sure that Dad was usually wrong about things, and I knew better. Whether it was about him being off after the next hunt, or Dean and I being left alone for days at a time, or just that he didn’t seem to understand my desire for a different style of life. We just seemed to butt-heads about everything.

I couldn’t understand what he was saying, and he couldn’t understand what I was trying to say. Don’t get me wrong, I still think that what I wanted for my life… the whole higher education and normal white picket-fence life, was still a valid concept. But now that I’m older and know so very much more about our lives and the factors that were influencing and affecting it. Well, I just know that I now believe Dad was right too.

Back then, I didn’t know about Azazel and him having bled in my mouth. I didn’t know that there was this grander plan for resurrecting Lucifer and the part I was pegged to play in that whole thing. Dad… he knew, at least he knew enough about it to understand that my getting out of this life and away from all of it, wasn’t gonna happen. And yet, instead of him telling me and killing the hope I held onto… he spent his life trying to change all that he could. For me and for everybody. I’m pretty humbled by that.

So, I guess my Biggest Lesson… would have to be that John Winchester was Right a lot of those times when we came head-to-head. I just wish I knew then, what I know now.

………………………………..

Charlie

My biggest lesson

That’s a pretty tough question, like the boys I have a lot of them…. The biggest I think would have to have been after I met them. They really taught me I didn’t have to depend on anyone, I was much more capable than I gave myself credit for. But it was ok to want someone else around. At the same time they taught me that family is sometimes who you choose. I remember seeing them again, at the larp tent… my days as the queen of moondor… I was pretty carefree. I really thought I could get away from what I knew, seeing them was a sign I hadn’t done it well enough. Once I realized, once again how much they were there for me…. They kind of became permanent fixtures. As someone that has spent the majority of my life doing things on my own, that was a huge step. They taught me hunting, and to trust my instincts and how to protect myself. All of that boils down to “it’s ok to let your guard down sometimes, there are some people who truly want to help” which is the family I’ve chosen. I for one, am thankful for that.

……………………………..

Patience

the biggest lesson I've learned

The day I met Dean and Jodi I think played a major role in the most important lesson I will ever learn. Still in high school they came to warn Dad and I that there was trouble coming. Deep down I already knew after seeing different visions (at the time though I didn't know what was happening). That was when I found out that he had ran my grandmother away because she had visions too. And it was the day she was murdered. Now in college I think back on that day and how I almost hated my dad. A few months later when I had the vision that the team was going to have trouble and dad forbid me to warn them. I had to be me to be who I was born to be. So yeah this is my biggest lesson to date always be yourself.

…………………………………

Dean

the biggest lesson I’ve learned?

Now I could say just about everything here....family not being just blood, or how not to mess with Gabe.... Sometimes those who aren’t blood are better family or not all monsters are actually monsters....but that would make this idea too easy.

If I really had to choose one lesson worth remembering, it would probably have to be...you cant save everyone.

Many times on our hunts we come across innocent people needing help. Even behind some monsters are innocent people who need saving and not really monsters.

However, in our line of work, as much as we want to save everyone, in all reality we really cant... I remember coming across a girl and she had been turned werewolf and yes she was controlling her hunger and thought she was doing well. We had let her go. We trusted her until a few years later.

Suddenly killing were happening everywhere. Bodies dropping left and right. When i first saw this girl i thought it was Kate... So we followed her and come to find out it was her sister Tasha. Kate had watched her sister die and wanted to save her so she turned her and was working with controlling her cravings. Kate begged us to not kill her. Kate thought she could handle it.

Until Tasha showed up with the pack and turned against Kate. Tasha explained how much she enjoyed the craving and made it clear she wasnt going to stop. Kate ended up having to kill her to stop her. There just was no hope now matter how much we wanted to save them.

There were other times things went about the same type of issues. But we learned we had to be more careful even while trying to save the person underneath it just isn't always possible.

………………………………

Crowley

The biggest lesson I’ve learned? That’s simple, and I learned it young. Never trust anyone. Growing up, my mother was my closest thing to a constant companion, and she traded me for power over and over again, and in one case almost for livestock. Later, after an admitted murder attempt, she traded me for freedom. In Hell, Azazel traded my autonomy for a spy on Lilith, once again proving even though he was family, I still couldn’t trust him to choose me over a grab for power. Time and time again demons would prove to be, well, demons and by extension proving trust was only as far as the other person could benefit me. Top side I threw my lot in with the Winchester’s, and by that point I was sorely lacking any trust left to remain. Even though they were the good guys, they were of course quick to double cross me. I couldn’t blame them, they expected me to do the same. But even as I thought we warmed up to each other, Moose would prove it was one sided.. He used my budding friendship with squirrel to attempt an assassination on behalf of my mother. So, of course, proving myself insane as I continue trying to build a circle of real trust, I know…..I know I can’t trust them. I can’t trust anyone. Not even myself.

[write-mywayout]

hi prompted to watch a bo burnham interview where he talks about having panic attacks on stage after i watched inside and when he talked about being a young person performing your life for an audience in real time that 14/15 year old girls would come up to him after his show and say they felt the same way and that it really made him think about his own work and the social media experience, and me remembering being that 14 year old girl coming up to him after a show in 2013 and telling him i’d memorized all of his songs and that i really felt connected to them even though that was probably weird since i was a 14 year old girl, and him being so cool about it and telling me to not let anyone ever tell me i was weird and that he thought it was really cool. and realizing that i was one of those 14/15 year old girls he’s talking about, and that after all this time this interaction with someone i really looked up to that i remember as being cringey on my part and assumptively obligatory on his part was actually maybe not and i think im gonna cry

[nightfallsolace]

Hello, could I request a headcanon list for either Joseph or Luca? (if it's ok can you do both please?) with a chaotic S/o? thank you!!

OMG OMG OMG YES-- Finally, I have a request. Truthfully, I was already writing the request bUt nO crome decided to be an asshole and close one me, BUT YES I can and will do both <33 I'm making the s/o gender-neutral since there was no specified gender, Warning!! Cursing

Joseph Desaulnier and Luca Balsa with a gn! chaotic s/o joseph Desaulnier

-With chaos, there must be speed, I mean, how are you supposed to create chaos if you're slow?

-So Joseph had a pretty rough time catching you at first

-Truthfully, he found you annoying at first

-Poor peepaw got subjected to your pranks as well

-S/o would be constantly bugging and stealing joseph's food

Joseph: "Y/n, did you eat my cream puffs??"

Y/n: *mouth full of food* "No..."

Joseph: "Then what's that on your shirt?"

Y/n: "That's whipped cocaine--"

-Had been very irritable for a month due to your shenanigans

-Welp, he’s had decided that he hates you, (actually no, that's a lie, he’s just very irritated,)

-He started ignoring you, which actually made you guilty of the thing you did,

-you started trying absolutely EVERYTHING to get his attention and to get him to forgive you, 

-He would wake up everyday for 3 months to find random things and food on his front door, and apology letters slipped under his door

-Joseph ignored it for the first few weeks, throwing away the letters and items, and giving away the food that had been placed on the doorstep, but eventually gave in

-He found himself smiling every time a letter had been slipped under his door, and he had started to collect the trinkets he had been receiving and eating the food that had been placed every now and then

-He started slowly noticing you again, which made you pretty happy

-Joseph realized that aside from the all the chaos and pain you inflict, you could also be a source of solace

-Whenever he would lose a match, or had a problem, he could just storm into your room and rant for hours and you would just sit and listen. Either giving really good advice or something related to fire,

Joseph: *rants in French*

Y/n: “Mhm, uh huh, ok, so I have a solution,”

Joseph: ”Thank goodness,”

Y/n: “It involves fire”

Joseph: “Absolutely not”

-He slowly fell for your child-like charm, despite him stating he very much “hated” you.

--The confession

Joseph: “Have you ever liked someone, but you were to afraid to tell them?”

Y/n: “oh yeah, why?”

*silence*

Mary: *face palms* JUST KISS ALREADY I AM S I C K OF WATCHING THE TWO OF YOU IN THIS PITIFUL STATE

Joseph and y/n: *blushing furiously*

Luca Balsa

-Literally both of you head-slamed into each other, the first time you met. and it just went like

Luca: ouch!-

Y/n: OH FUCK-- sorry- *runs away*

Luca: wha-

Y/n: I LIKE YOUR OUTFIT BTW ITS BADASS!!

Luca: oh damn, they cool

- Met again, in the halls of the manor when Luca was testing out his new machinery, which you had complimented, plus points to you from luc

-Ya’ll became good friends after that,

-he would help you with whatever pranks you want to do and in exchange you would help him with his inventions

-encourages your shenanigans, and often gets involves in them to,

-pranks the hunters during matches

-sometimes the other survivors to

-YOU CANNOT IN ANYWAY UNCONVINCE ME THAT LUCA DOES NOT OWN A RAT >:((

-you found out about his pet rat and decided to adopt one from the cellar to

-Rat Buddies <33

-”Platonic flirting”

Luca: “Did it hurt?”

y/n: “what do you mean?”

Luca: “when you fell from heaven”

y/n: “no, but I scraped my knees crawling out of hell”

Luca: “you are literally so cool”

Y/n: bro...

Luca: bro..

-Both oblivious to each others feelings, LIKE JUST DATE ALREADY?!

-Confession probably went like, “you bro I think we’re in love” “holy shit I think we are”