#ya'll are just lame <3

[lacebird]

#she’s an icon she’s a legend and she is the moment

Kate Capshaw as Willie Scott in INDIANA JONES & THE TEMPLE OF DOOM (1984)

[thefloatingstone]

Welp. I finally finished Mass Effect 3 with the extended ending

[ir3nic-sluvv]

Hear me out...... Leon as a mysterious neighbor(bot) and a sunshine (user). And one day she needs some help regarding whatever reason (you can decide) and they both are intrigued about each other but it's kind of a slow burn........ Too lame of a idea?

YA'LL JUST GIVING ME AMAZING REQUEST AND IDEAS! 💕💕

✧ Mysterious neighbour.

Description: Leon Kennedy has been living in the same neighbourhood as {{user}}. Approximately 4 years now or so. And in those years {{user}} would always notice how she would hardly see Leon around, it made her curious as to what he might be doing that he needs to leave for months before going back. She didn't even see him for a year back then, but she knew she shouldn't be nosy to other people's business. But she couldn't help but notice him while he stayed in the neighbourhood. She would always glance at him whenever she would catch him outside his house or whenever she would take a glimpse of him from his windows. She thinks she's starting to become a freak or something, but she can't help it, she finds him very mysterious.

Leon on the other hand would always catch {{user}}'s glances at him, at first he was a bit weirded out but he didn't pay much mind to it and just ignored her. But as time passed as he stayed in the neighbourhood, he couldn't help but catch himself always staring at her from a distance. He thinks she's cute, beautiful even. And he first thought she was so kind to others when he would always see they're helping her neighbours. Even when he's out working through his mission, he couldn't help but think of her. He didn't know why but he would always try to keep his mind off of things and focus more on his work. And whenever he goes back to the neighbourhood, he would always think if it would be a great idea to go up and talk to {{user}}, but for some reason he couldn't. The next day after being away from the neighbourhood for 3 months, he saw {{user}} struggling to fix up her scooter-moped. He thinks it's the best opportunity to finally talk to her.

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Home

So ya'll ever watch a movie you know for a fact, just by looking at it, is made for babies and very small children? Yeah, that's what Home is, in like, almost every way. It is a dumb movie made for dumb children. I didn't like it. Let's get into why.

The Boov are (super quirky omgzz) alien race that take over the planet Earth as their new home, relocating humans, all except for Tip, a no-nonsense girl who's determined to find her missing mother. She teams up with Oh, perhaps the most fucking annoying Boov of all to the point that he's hated even by his fellow aliens, as they travel across the Earth to find Tip's mom.

Simple premise, simple movie. And yet despite that, it still manages to have really weird and fucky pacing? Like moments that should be spent on actually developing the characters and their relationships with each other are just... glossed over through montages or very brief scenes? It's really, really weirdly paced, I don't even know how to properly explain it. It felt like the movie was speed running itself (fine with me, the sooner it ended, the better.)

So if the movie isn't focusing on that, what is it focusing on? Well some pretty unexciting action scenes for one, but then there's the real thing this movie is about: humor. Really shitty, bad, immature, lame potty humor and "omgz so random!" kind of humor that was running rampant in the 2010s. Like I said, this is a baby movie, for babies. So all of the jokes are very simple and dumbed down and not a single one of them got even a smile out of me. This entire movie was a flaccid, joyless experience.

When it isn't smacking you in the face with fart and piss jokes, its trying so damn hard to hit you in the feels. But in that reguard, it takes a swing and misses completely because I felt nothing for these characters in the slightest. Oh might just be one of the most annoying Dreamworks protagonists yet, with this really aggrivating way of talking that all the Boov have where they skip words or just say things wrongly and I get it, that's the joke, but fuck if it doesn't become grating almost immediately. Tip is only a little better, but she's largely an inconsistant character, hating Oh at one point and then being besties with him the next that I barely even knew what her characterization was even supposed to be.

What else, what else? Uh.... There was a villain? The leader of the Boov? I don't remember anything significant about him? Oh and uhhh the uhhh (checks Wikipedia page bc this movie made such a nothing impact on me i can barely remember it only ten minutes after viewing it) the Gorg, which is also a nothing threat, just there to be "oooh scary" until the end where it's revealed it isn't actually scary at all and just wanted its babies back (fucking Chicken Little did this first and better, you know your movie sucks if I'm saying goddamn Chicken Little is better).

The animation is very basic, very unimpressive character designs in a very average looking world. It's not what you'd expect from Dreamworks, that's for sure; I'd say its more along the lines of Illumination's normal quality. The soundtrack was all done by Rihanna, who voices Tip, and uhhh I'm not a big Rihanna fan, just gonna admit that up front. Her songs also just feel ill-placed throughout this very silly, zany romp, it just felt so weird at times to hear these soulful ballads when I had to fucking look at Oh's stupid face like what were they thinking with this???

So yeah, bad movie for babies. Sucks because I know Dreamworks can do better, they have so many times before. Unfortunately, sometimes, I think they just go for whatever they think will sell. And well, I'm sure they thought Oh would turn into a million marketable plushies (he probably did idk). But anyway, Home can go the fuck home so I never have to look at it again.

Overall Rating: 3/10

Verdict: Get assassinated with the Shush wand or whatever the fuck it was called idk i stopped paying attention halfway through this dumbass movie to play on my Switch

Previous Review (The Penguins of Madagascar)

Next Review (Kung Fu Panda 3)

[starlightshadowsworld]

Danganronpa 3: Future arc episode 1.

Aka Makoto's very, bad horrible day

Thonks.

Okay so we're just gonna jump right into Makoto being arrested.

Fun.

Makoto who just does not give a fuck.

That is not the look of fear.

White haired dude is doing the this is why your arrested thing.

And immediately, vibes are off. Maybe it's cos he's arresting Makoto.

Because Makoto is my boy.

Or because I don't like his hair. It looks... So bad. I can't put it into words but the more I look at it.

Yikes.

Love the snap shot of the tragedy.

Red sky, everyone in Monokuma masks the snap shots of the Remnants causing havoc.

I wasn't prepared for Gundam's snake army.

Which he has, apparently.

Low key thought what is probably a giraffe, was a dinosaur.

And the snake wrapped around him, iconic.

And the lil bit of Nagito bowing to the Warriors of Hope.

... Which makes me realise Komaru and Makoto literally just reunited and now your arresting him.

Booo!!!

Booooooo!!!

"Humanity had one hope against the despairs"

Makoto Naegi.

"The future foundation."

Pfft. Nope.

You don't even get the lenience of not knowing, the game was televised.

Also why do they all have giant ass trench coats, but this one girl has a fur trimmed one?

We were supposed to be coordinated but nooo.

You guys trying to convince me you saved the world and you can't even coordinate a group outfit?

Suuureeee.

I'm sorry but I can't take this serious narration seriously when looking at people with Monokuma masks on.

And a teeny fedora on one side.

It's so silly, I love it.

See, they may be trying to destroy us all but at least they can coordinate.

I do hope we see and hear more of the tragedy. Especially from these guys because we don't know much about it.

I mean our only sources are Junko and Genocider, not the most reliable.

16 remaining.

...thats not gonna last. And I'm glad we're not doing 15 and than a secret 16 student this time.

At least I hope so.

I swear if there's a random 17th student I'm gonna flip the table.

Random dude with a bull head.

And fur coat girl feeding the guy who's head is on her lap food.

Okay than.

I dunno why but I was suprised they had talents like oh yeah that's not just a high school thing is it.

Immediately, suspicious.

Because tf you mean the Director is the former Director of Hope's Peak.

You mean to tell me there are teachers that survived?

Given what happened to Jin Kirigiri I just assumed all the teachers were gone.

... Apparently not....

But the director? How did Izuru not just destroy you? Like you survived? Are you the only one who did?

I was so scared he was gonna be a secret Kirigiri or something.

Also sus that we don't know his talent, unless he doesn't have one.

I'll be honest, the talents are kinda lame. I mean we've got:

Wrestler.

School scout.

Therapist.

Pharmacist.

Boxer.

Confectioner.

Farmer.

Blacksmith.

Housekeeper.

They aren't bad, they are some pretty cool ones but we're coming off detective, gambling queen, soilder.

Like I expect a few normal titles but suprised there was nothing crazy.

... I'm gonna take that back when the Housekeeper goes full Kirumi Tojo and turns out to he president of Japan aren't I?

I guess it makes sense because they were the survivors of humanity united together.

So them having normalish talents make sense but yeah.

I'm actually more suprised everyone was a Hope's peak student or staff member than anything else.

Also we gotta give them a better title than "Former super high school level" because that just sounds sad.

Oh and we're on a completly safe on an island that no one knows about...

Yeah ya'll are fucked.

White haired dude is back.

And we know he's clearly a big deal because he walked up onto the table.

... How high are the ceilings here?

Kyosuke Munakata. He's the vice chairman of the future foundation.

I will say his hair sucks but that tie is interesting.

And suspicious.

No one walks around in all white with a black tie that has a monster on it.

And we get a full look at the Remnants.

Badass.

Also Mikan's nurse hat looks so adorable.

Twogami with the night vision goggles.

Foreshadowing.

Sonia with the crown 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼yesss.

What are you talking about? You don't look at these murderers with glowing red eyes and think, besties?

Sounds like a you problem.

They officially call Makoto the Ultimate Hope.

So happy, I'd be more happy if they weren't trying to arrest him tho.

"Is he even worthy of that name?"

... If I didn't like you before I sure don't now Munakata.

Don't talk about my boy like that.

Sidenote, I dunno why they keep calling it treason. You guys aren't as far as I know a government or a monarchy.

It's not treason.

Man nothings ever gonna top Makoto showing up late to his own trial.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Asahina!!! And Kyoko!!! With him, yess.

Outfits look great guys.

Maybe that's how you become a future foundation enemy? You just outclass them in the fashion department.

Man I missed these guys.

And yeah... They just arrest Makoto, no rebuttal just accepting he did the crime they're accusing him of and he deserves the punishment.

Love Asahina trying though, that was sweet. It must be hard for these guys too.

And I really like how there's people in the foundation wgo still respect Makoto.

Yeah he betrayed you, you're just doing you're job.

But he's also a colleague, he's someone you've come to know. You still respect him for the things he's done and still like him as a person.

I appreciate that.

... Unfortunately there's also the asshole's who hate him completely.

And fucking beat him to the ground.

And someone tried to throw a knife at Asahina, who's innocent mind you.

...This series is gonna give me anger issues I swear.

That good ol hopes Peak hypocrcy alive and well it seems.

I never thought I'd say this but can we start the killing game?

Please.

They made him bleed the asshole's... And the blood is red.

Kyoko maintaining her image because she knows she has too, while making it clear she is pissed off.

She's immediately characterised correctly.

... Is Chisa the Housekeeper lady with Munakata?

Girl I don't even know you and you deserve better.

Kyoko being Makoto's boss makes so much sense, professionally.

And in her own way telling Asahina she doesn't want her going down with them.

Asahina though, not backing down. I love the friendship between these two.

"We've been through worse."

Ha ha... Don't say it...shhsss

Wait, Chisa taught the Remnants?!

I guess someone would've had to but... What?! You're telling me they allowed her in here?

I appreciate her talking about this, hearing from her you can't kill them with kindness.

Hits harder, because she probably tried to. It must've been hard for her to see her own class destroy the world.

And visually they both look similiar, same green eyes and brown hair.

I wonder if she sees part of her in him. And telling him to quit while he's ahead.

... But Makoto's gonna do it anyway.

Or already has.

I love his answer though, it's so utterly Makoto.

They were people, they weren't born evil and I see hope in them.

... Fine I'll give Munakata a chance but I'm 👀watching you mister.

Hmm let's see, the buildings shaking and there's a bunch of dead bodies in a toilet stall.

Killing game tiiime.

I love the idea of Kyoko abd Asahina just shoving Yasuhiro outside.

Glad he looks the most changed, because he always was the oldest.

Aaand rocket missles.

Man Makoto just getting treated like shit... What would holding him down do? He's already injured.

I get that he's Lucky but it's not always good... As your about to see.

I will say I appreciate Munakata being level headed in the crisis. He might be vice chairman but he's definitely a leader.

Kinda like how Kyoko is Makoto's boss but when it comes to it, Makoto is definitely the leader between them. With Kyoko as his second.

Which is a neat parallel between him and Munakata.

Welp there's the sleeping gas.

And we're waking up disorientated and confused.

With... Bracelets? So at least Makoto got the handcuffs off.

Monokuma's suprise shouldn't make me laugh but here we are.

Makoto looks horrified, poor guy. I think he could've gone his whole life without hearing that again.

Poor boy, got arrested, beat the fuck up, and now relieving the worst experience of his life again.

With all the people who want him dead.

... Fuck man..

I hope the confusion is more what the fuck are you and not what is that?

Because I'm sorry if you don't know what a Monokuma is by now...you're really bad at you're job.

But ohhh boy we really are back in buisness.

"We'll make it a game, you millenials are into that aren't ya."

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Makoto, I appreciate the early Hope speech because fuck Monokuma.

But literally everyone but your friends and Chisa maybe want you dead.

...and hun, you know how this works.

Makoto being instantly horrified and pissed off is the Makoto I need more off.

.... And they fucking killed Chisa.

I don't think we've ever had an opening kill? But... Fuck man, I was expecting her to survive.

... Nope... And oh man it's so brutal, the red blood really makes it worse.

And now Munakata's grieving and pissed...

Which means one of the more level headed dudes isn't gonna be anymore.

Man...Games begun.

Monokuma addressing Makoto by name like an old friend just adds to it.

Fuck man we in for a ride.

[jaythelay]

Rebranded the channel!

This one's been a veeeery long time coming. Idunno if I can change my Tumblr username, but if it has, I used to be Jeremythellama1, has been for like, 13 years?

I randomly came up with a shortened username for my discord server, and while initially it was "JaytheLay" I eventually dropped "the" for just Jay Lay.

That stuck so fucking hard ya'll. Pretty much rebranded everything but social media after a while. Just in case ya missed it, Jay(the)Lay is a...fancy word, portmantoe? Of J(ay)-eremy(the)La(Y)ma very original I know.

However, I've got a plethora of reasons why I decided to rebrand, let's start with the obviously marketable aspect:

Reasons for rebrand

1. Amma gorl

Jeremy is too male, Jay is pretty much universal, I'm trans, Male to Female, just go male most of the time because it's easier and I got far, far too many other problems to deal with any trans identity for myself. But as of late, the dysphoria is starting to become more pallatable.

I never cared about image a whole lot, I just wanna not waste people's time. Human connection with strict arbitrary rules isn't my style. So, I'm probably gonna have a more feminine approach towards my own personal image. Nothing flamboyant. Not even remotely interested in any discussions to be had. Use whatever words to describe me, just enjoy my creations. Genuinely, who gives a shit.

Reason 2. Literally nobody got the name right

Imagine getting hate messages or toxic voice chat from someone who read 'Jeremy' as '"Jerry" or "Jermy" like bro... It's not a hard name. But now imagine someone asking for your youtube, and you have to tell them, they have to spell it literally 100% correctly or YT won't show me, and they have to ask how many Ls are in Llama.

It's been an absolute thorn in my side for a literal decade. Good riddance.

3. I had a better username before it

So, I originally went by the username "LOZMASTERMM" and that was because, as a kid, all I ever wanted was the username "LOZMASTER" because Zelder wur coo. I eventually got my wish, in Minecraft, eat shit mother fuckers I win. Everywhere else tho, nah. So, MM, stands for Majora's Mask, my favorite of the zeldas at the time.

I cannot put into enough words how much better a username 'lozmastermm' is to Jeremythellama1. You explain Legend of Zelda and everything else falls into place, and the best part was being called L-O-Z or Link. Like fuck yeah dude.

Anyways I lost the YT account 2 decades ago. Still can't login. I had Jeremythellama1 for a reason I'll divulge one day I'm sure. It's funny and lame.

4. It's...not taken? Somehow? Like someone on YT has JayLay and JaytheLay, even JaytheLay1, but nobody has really officially claimed it. So...it's mine. Mine. I claim it, I fuckin' bite, do not fuck with me, no man has killed me, you thank god I can die anyways.

Jay Lay is perfect. No longer do I have like 8 names, but I now just have the Jay Identity. S'pretty neat. Don't put much thought into it. Just elaborating how it lead to this point poorly. Point is you can hopefully fucking google me now.

[saltypiss]

There's so, so many moments in Elden Ring where I can only ask "who the fuck approved this?"

But man, that game just keeps falling apart at the seams the more I play it.

It has the most distinct feel any game I've played has ever had. A Hollow one.

How many times have you seen a fat pile of bloodstains in a remarkably untouched area because of poor design leading them off a cliff with the utterly randomized fall damage system?

And I'm not talking "oh they didn't know that cliff ended" no I mean "There's a spot on this map by the castle that looks traversable" but isn't because nobody playtested that section.

All of Elden Ring is unplaytested because you can FEEL that every playtester and developer never played without debug on.

Enemy hits you 3 times despite dodge rolling all of them? Doesn't matter, my character's a debug with maxed stats and armor.

The fucking cursed eye creatures have too much health and attack too fast? Doesn't matter, I turned that off in debug.

Oh you literally cannot do damageless without cheesing the shit out of it? Doesn't matter, I'm not buying this crap.

Whateever solution people have to something in Elden Ring is never cool. The closest the game gets to cool is using fire on the poison plants, and what does that accomplish? Well they have as much health as a boss, they're only stunned for 2 seconds, and their immediete next attack is more poison.

Congrats, ya almost did a Game Design.

Remember using the alluring skull to lure the hog to the BBQ pit? Or to do a fall attack? Something they removed clearly late game given the abundance of big enemies directly below you?

Don't get me started on the bullet sponging. Not every enemy needs a Boss health amount. Not every enemy needs a special boss attack. Not every enemy or boss needs to be faster than framerate.

Just an embarrassing product. Fans act like fromsoft improves every game or experiments every game, but the fact is their experiments are beyond lame.

What. Technology that didn't exist yet to support fucking SHADOWS was experimenting? What, throwing out literally all of dark souls to focus on the fucking LIGHTING that ended up impossible on, GASP 256mb of ram, was an experiment? Really?

I think you just call that being bumbling and blind, stupid, and unjustifiably ignorant.

What "experiment" does Elden Ring even try? To be like an Ubisoft Skyrim? Nah nah I joke but am very serious.

The reality is the "experiment" this time was to throw out all the souls-like, make an open world, then, ON PAPER, copy elements from their previous games, as they do for props, and then didn't give a single shit.

I literally stumbled into the bad ending of the game by accident, you supposedly have to go out of your way to get here, and yet, I still do not know where the fuck they want me to actually go. Just embarrassing design.

It's not like they wanted the bad ending to be everyone's first, they just suck at level design and world design and enemy design and NPC design and weapon design.

Oh and the music for ER? It's just Fallout ambience. Like. 1:1 alternate universe, Fallout ambience.

Boss fight music Idunno. Ya'll ever turn the music off? ER goes from a 2 to a 0 real fast when you realize just how...lifeless everything is withot the music.

Turn off the music in Dark Souls and. Well. You got the same game, just a bit less epic. But every boss encounter felt like a true boss encounter.

Elden Ring just has some dude with a life bar kinda standing in the middle of no where suddenly scream and cheetah sprint at you. If not, a shitty cutscene that somehow completely disconnects the player from the game in the most...non-intuitive of ways.

I really can go on forever.

Really all I want fans to notice is that they seriously are never returning to Dark Souls, because what they think is dark souls, and the community at large, is the garbage combat.

It felt good getting past an obstacle in Dark Souls because at all points I'm in control and every decision makes a noticeable impact.

ER just...has no real obstacles. You're clearly always meant to be grinding and grinding and grinding and grinding and grinding until you overwhelm the boss and defeat fun entirely.

ER says "git gud" to the wrong audience with the wrong game. It's not even remotely supposed to be a hard game, they just didn't give a shit, and made everything insane thinking that was in anyway true game design.

Lemme contextualize, of all Souls games, ER was made with a difficulty mode in mind. But not a good one, like, Fallout 3's difficulty mode, where all it did was make enemies a bullet sponge and you frail as shit no matter your skill points, armor, or weapon. And because of that, while everyone does play on Very Hard, we all fucking hate it.

[chuuyrr]

Hi Sano-chan!!!! I love ur bby fushiguro series. It's too cute n adorable. Can I request for teen bby fushiguro who's out with her dad n uncle nanami but she gets separated from them to buy something else. She takes too long to come so they head out to look for her and they find a group of lame men trying to be touchy with her. We all know bby can whack them but she doesn't want to use her powers on normies. Gojo n nanami go into protective dad mode and scare them off. Fluff pls

protective dad mode! gojo & nanami with scarlet witch! fushiguro! reader

jujutsu kaisen x reader

masterlist of the series

warning(s): mentions of harassment, mentions of violence and use of strong language (promised fluff at the end though!)

omg you're the first one to call me sano-chan!! im usually addressed as chu, so i'm really glad aaaa <3 thank you so much for the feedback and for requesting dear anon, enjoy the fluffy scenario :D

(p.s. i dont mind being called as chu, i'm just happy that i was called as sano but dw you guys can call me chu, sano, ji or even jisano—i don't mind at all, any will do—ya'll can even call me your ate (pronounced as ah-teh which means sister! <3)

it was one of those days wherein gojo takes you out and bond with you by having lunch with you and doing some shopping with you. you and gojo had just exited a branded store when you bumped into the ex-salaryman. after being annoyed by your father, he agreed to join the two of you but mostly because he hasn't seen his niece in such a long time and he discreetly would love to spend some time with you. nanami may not say it out loud, but he considers you as family—one of the people he has grown to love and attached to.

it was a busy day with lots of people in the streets, so you held onto each of gojo's and nanami's arm to not get lost. as gojo joked with nanami as the three of you headed to a restaurant you suggested for lunch, an item that you had looking for caught your eye from a nearby store.

halting on your tracks, you tugged on their sleeves. "hey, dad. uncle. i need to go to that store over there to buy something real quick."

"sure thing, kikufuku. do you want us to accompany you?" gojo turned to you, handing you some money from his wallet.

"no thank you. you and uncle nanami can go ahead so you can order, i'll be quick i promise." you said sincerely, accepting the money that your dad handed to you before smiling at him and nanami.

"alright, be careful, okay?" your uncle nanami reminded you before he and gojo watched you leave their side and ran off.

"i will!" you say, giving them one last look before fully-turning away.

several minutes had already passed since you got separated from gojo and nanami, they were starting to get worried since it shouldn't take you that long to buy. the food that gojo ordered was getting colder already. you also promised that you'd just be quick. was there a long line? were you waiting for a stock of the item you've been meaning to buy? it would be impossible for you to run off. you weren't a baby anymore, if anything you were more mature and responsible than gojo as nanami would comment.

"[name]'s taking too long, do you think she got lost?" nanami couldn't handle it anymore, his mental thoughts were also getting the best of him.

"no, we go to this restaurant four times a week." gojo shook his head, "this is kikufuku's favorite place."

"let's go find [name], i'm worried." nanami stood up from his seat.

both him and gojo exited the restaurant after taking out the ordered food and headed to the store you told them you were going to. on their way, they already saw you from a distance, in front of the store holding a paper bag, but you weren't alone. there was a group of grown men with you, towering over you to be exact while you appeared to just be staring at them.

what the hell? your dad and uncle thought in unison.

you could always use your chaos magic against these filthy men—you were the scarlet witch for goodness sake. you knew how to fight, you've fought off special grade curses before and sorcerers. if anything, you were more than helpless but knowing you were in public, it was risky. you didn't want to expose your powers and let alone waste your energy on people like them.

"come on pretty face, just come with us." one of the men chuckled, his eyes looking at you up and down, his gaze evident with bad intentions.

"yeah! we'll show you a good time." another agreed with the other before he proceeded to grab you by the arm.

you quickly reacted, harshly slapping his hand away before he could make physical contact, scowling. "i said, leave me the fuck alone! i have places to be."

"wow, she's a feisty one." the third man commented before he and the rest of his goons burst out laughing. "how cute."

"look, i'm trying to be polite here. i just told you i'm not going with you bitches. which part of 'leave me the fuck alone' do you not understand?" a scoff escaped your breath, your patience was running thin with each second.

"that's no way to act! perhaps, we should teach you a lesson sweetheart." the fourth guy held a scowl at you, clearly disliking how you were acting right now. you watched him raise a hand at you, presumably to hit you or yank, or something.

you were ready to retaliate and defend yourself when a tall familiar figure appeared right in front of you, shielding you from the group of men that was trying to be touchy with you and caught the hand by the wrist that was intended to hit you. blinking, your eyes widened as you looked up.

"what do you think you're doing to my daughter, hmm?" gojo tightened his grip onto the hand he caught to the point he was gradually crushing it.

"daughter?" one of them muttered, blinking in confusion at how gojo seemingly teleported in between you and them. "w-where the hell did come from!?"

"didn't your parents teach you not to hit on women, hmm?" looking past gojo, you saw your uncle nanami standing behind the group of men.

with your high sensitivity to auras and such, you could tell that shit was about to go down. you could feel gojo and nanami's aura burning with anger, especially gojo's. you bit your lip, trying to surpress your laughter at what was about to happen next. the group of men seemed to have noticed and tried to peer at you when they heard you. however, their attempt to see you failed when gojo fully-blocked you from their sight.

"don't even think about looking at her. we're not done with you." gojo's voice was filled with malice and something atrocious which constrasted his usual carefree and bubbly tone whenever he speaks to you and your uncle nanami.

closing your eyes, you heard the crushing of bones and groans of pain, and their begging for mercy. by the time you opened your eyes, the group of men were barely unconscious on the ground. it was a good thing there were lesser people now in public, but it's not like you cared. that would teach the others a lesson as well. you were then smothered in a tight embrace, your face instantly meeting the baby blue dress shirt of your father.

"oh god, [name]. are you okay baby? you're not hurt anywhere are you? i'm so sorry, we're so so sorry." as soon as your face was pulled away from the fabric that was rich in the scent of giorgio armani's acqua di gio cologne, your face was peppered with kisses and you were patted all over for any injuries. "we shouldn't have left you alone!"

"i'm fine, dad." you managed to say, gojo's hands were now cupping your face and squishing your cheeks, his ocean blue eyes gazing at your [color] ones with concern and worry. "i should be the one who's sorry, i promised to be quick but then, well—they happened."

"are you sure?" gojo asked, pressing his forehead against yours.

"mhm, i really am. especially, now that you and uncle nanami are here."

you lowered your head and pressed your cheek against his chest. you looked up to your uncle, holding out an arm for an embrace. a small smile graced his lips. nanami got the message and trotted to you and gojo, hugging you along with your father.

"we got your favorite food. it was getting colder so we had it taken out." nanami explained, raising the plastic bag he had in his hand this whole time.

"oh my god, i almost forgot!" your eyes lit up. "we haven't eaten lunch yet—i'm hungry.."

"today was exhausting, wanna eat at home instead?" gojo suggested, draping an arm around you to pull you to his side, glancing at you and nanami. "what do you say kikufuku, nanamin?"

"you should come with us, uncle nanami! pleaaase." you turned towards him, tugging onto his sleeve.

the ex-salaryman belted out a chuckle, shaking his head as he looked at you, "how could i ever decline my niece?"

the three of you walked off, your arms linked in gojo and nanami's respectively—a smile now adorning your face.

"hey, dad?" you spoke up.

gojo hummed, "hmm? what is it?"

"can we watch a movie while we eat lunch?" you asked, smiling.

"you don't need to ask! say, why don't we watch that new disney movie?" gojo suggested enthusiastically.

"encanto?" nanami quipped, causing gojo to softly gasp and dramatically clasp a hand over his mouth.

"you know disney movies?" gojo pretended to be shocked.

"gojo satoru, quit acting i'm that old when you're older than me." nanami bit back, glaring at your father.

you found yourself giggling at gojo and nanami's bickering. when the three of you arrived home, gojo set up the movie before you ate lunch and you ended up forgetting about the events that took place earlier. you were also coddled by gojo and nanami for the rest of the day.

[dream-of-kpop]

Monsta X But On Jersey Shore

[idek don't question me on this tho]

[oh shit that rhymed]

[eXcuSe mY cHarismA]

Kihyun:

The producers love him the most cuz he starts the most drama

Over here doing body rolls and grinding

Jooheon: "If you don't sit your ass down trying to look sexy for Monbebes..."

Kihyun: "I don't have to try..."

The second main one turning up at clubs besides Minhyuk headass-

If you ever wanted to immediately piss off kihyun just bring up his feelings for Shownu

Minhyuk: "You're just mad cuz Shownu likes me moreeeee"

Kihyun: "..." *Anger goes from 50-100 real quick*

No matter how many times Minhyuk and him beat eachothers' asses on the show they're still best friends

it's the drunkness talking- *partially*

Hyungwon:

Very bad for views

He mainly just sleeps in his bed not caring

Producer: "Hey hyungwon why not go clubbing with the others?"

Hyungwon: "I'm already drunk rn as we speak so i saved myself hours of wasted time"

Before going on the show he told his mom he was going to tour "colleges"

Regrets everything but being with Wonho

He had a job before the show but he quit it for this

Hyungwon: "I didn't pay for anything but i want my money back-"

I.M walked in on Hyungwon in the bathroom-

it wasn't pretty-

I.M:

The peer "mediator"

*Holds Shownu back from fighting Wonho* *shOwnu fiGhtinG whaT?*

I.M: "WTF IT'S LIKE HOLDING A TRUCK BACK GODDAMN YA'LL STRONG-"

Oh believe he's starting drama too tho

I.M: "I saw Wonho has a tattoo on his ass-"

Jooheon: "OH SHITTTTT" *cries laughing*

To impress his hyungs he jumped off the roof into the pool one time

L e g e n d a r y

He's loyal to Jooheon he won't shit talk him

Anymore...

I.M: the one who's falling the most

He is the "grenade" in the friendship

Makes dirty jokes every 5 minutes cuz it's his "thing"

Shownu:

*In the confessional*

Shownu: "Uh i don't think i can do this anymore-"

Producer: "But your attractiveness makes our viewership go up-" *fucking correct*

Shownu: "So??? this is a nightmare"

Producer: "We'll pay you $13k cash if you fight Wonho right now"

Shownu: "Give me like 10 seconds-"

When the others fight in public, Shownu casually walks away from it

Person: "Are those your friends?"

*Kihyun punching Minhyuk in the arm*

Shownu: "No i have no idea who they are"

Sometimes he just lays in bed with Hyungwon to relax from drama

Wonho:

Pretty much is "The situation"

But more built and sexier so-

Punched a hole in the wall out of anger

One time everyone got turnt and took jello shots off of Wonho

I.M: "Come on Hyungwon you never do anything-"

Hyungwon: "Ugh fine"

*He snorts it instead of drinking it- honey...*

Hyungwon: "MY NOSE ZJZNSN IT BURNS-"

Minhyuk: "YOU DUMBASS-"

Producers told Wonho to have a "relationship" with Hyungwon

The sad part is his acting is pretty good so Hyungwon believes it real

Watches reruns of the show to look at himself

Wonho: "Damn i look good"

Minhyuk: "Right"

Minhyuk:

Has slept with everyone in the house

Yep so he's like Snooki only taller and not tan af

Gets drunk every night

*Minhyuk rolling on the counter*

Minhyuk: "DruNk iN lOvEeee"

Hyungwon: "CAN YOU MOVE I'M TRYING TO MAKE A SANDWICH"

*Next morning he has a hangover*

Cries the most out of frustration

Wants everyone in the house to be friends but always fights...ok?

*Minhyuk crying fake tears*

Minhyuk: "I...I just want us ALL to bE friends and NoT fiGht"

Hyungwon: "Awe..."

I.M: "Shut the fuck up-"

Jooheon:

Very confused as to how "reality" tv shows work

Jooheon: "Can i show them me playing games?"

Producer: "No that's kind of lame how about you showering?"

Jooheon: "WHAT-?"

The one the producers have to edit out the most cuz of cursing

Jooheon: "F*ck what kind of bullsh*t is this??? My f*cking zipper is stuck, sh*t..."

Mtv doesn't allow this

fr fr ye they do

Got left at the club with Wonho

Monsta X tried to get rid of them...it didn't work...

Took 3 shots of vodka + 4 shots of henny in one night

Jooheon: "I...I see the light..."

*It was a police flashlight he got arrested*

*I.M was the only one to bail him out-*

Admin 2-

-hyungwonthefraud-

woke up at 3am with this idea

"I'm already drunk rn"- hyungwon headass

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Turbo

Ya'll ever watch a movie that leaves such a little impression on you that you're almost certain it'll dump itself out of your brain within hours of watching it? Because good god, if Turbo ain't one of those movies.

It is... so fucking boring. So fucking forgettable, such a nothing movie on all accounts. The characters are one-note, the story is bland, even the animation isn't anything impressive to look at. But don't just take my word for it. Let's get into this... whatever the fuck it is I just watched.

Theo is a garden snail who's bored with his mundane life (wow, how many times have we seen that one in a Dreamworks movie before) and is constantly at ends with his brother Chet. One day. a freak accident involving nitrous oxide imbues Theo, who renames himself Turbo, with super speed. After being captured by and befriending Tito, a taco truck driver with brother issues of his own, Turbo is on his way to achieving his longtime dream of racing and winning the Indy 5,000 race.

So yeah, the plot is kinda dumb. I mean its obviously very silly and out there, its a kids movie, blatantly to its core. One that constantly feels like its ripping off both Cars and Ratatouille somehow??? Like seriously, there isn't really an original bone in this movie's body. I mentioned before the characters here are all very one note at best, stereotypes at worst (especially with some of the human characters). Turbo is just a bland protagonist with not a lot to him to really make us care about him or root for him. Chet is a wet blanket for most of the movie, and even the point where he comes around feels forced and rushed. The other snails are just as boring as the human characters are, meant to just spew out whitty lines and catch phrases to try and make them seem "hip with the kids" when they are so clearly not. There's also a villain? I guess? I don't remember enough about him to say anything significant so there's that.

The humor in this is just... trying too damn hard. Lots of physical humor yes, but also a good deal of bad puns and lame one-liners. Another thing that absolutely took me out of this movie so fucking fast were the product placements. Like yes, I understand that brands sponsor cars at a race like the Indy 5000 but jesus fucking christ the amount of times I had to look at the Verizon logo in this stupid ass movie made my skin literally crawl.

The animation is just... whatever. Nothing too impressive here, the character designs are typical Dreamworks doing the bare minimum to get by. Same with the music, boring pop songs set against a boring score. The least this movie could have done if it was gonna force me to sit through a shitty script and boring story was look decent, but it doesn't even manage to do that right.

So yeah, Turbo is just about as bad as I was expecting it to be. I mean, it barely passes above the likes of insultingly bad movies like Antz and Shark Tale, because at least this one didn't make me want to gouge my eyes and ears out. But that's not saying much.

Overall Rating: 3/10

Verdict: Salt every last one of these damn snails

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