#yall i think queens won. i think. maybe. they won.

[thekidsare-not-alright]

lyrics for each tour date shirt so far

Chicago, IL: "when the party ends / will you still love who I am"

St Louis, MO: "what would you trade the pain for / I'm not sure"

Bonner Springs, KS: "time is luck / and I wish ours overlapped more or for longer"

The Woodlands, TX: "I think I've been going through it / and I've been putting your name to it"

Dallas, TX: "Part time soulmate / full time problem"

Phoenix, AZ: "I"ll never go / I just want to be invited"

Chula Vista, CA: "Nowhere left for us to go / but heaven"

Los Angeles, CA: "In another life / you were the sunshine of my lifetime"

Mountain View, CA: "Fever dream / tangerine sweat"

Salt Lake City, UT: "I'm just a cherub riding comets / through the night sky"

Greenwood Village, CO: "The world is always spinning / and I can't keep up"

Rogers, AR: "You put the 'fun' / into dysfunction"

Somerset, WI: "My mood board is just pictures of you / but I'm not sad anymore"

Cincinnati, OH: "We did it for futures that never came / and for pasts that we're never gonna change"

Noblesville, IN: "I will never ask you for anything / except to dream sweet of me"

Cuyahoga Falls, OH: "I closed my eyes inside of your darkness / and found your glow"

Bristow, VA: "And all of my wildest dreams / they just end up with you and me"

Charlotte, NC: "Here I am / not sure you should take a chance"

Virginia Beach, VA: "Trumpets bring the angels / but they never came"

West Palm Beach, FL: "All this effort / to make it look effortless"

Tampa, FL: "I carved out a place in this world for two / but it's empty without you"

Atlanta, GA: "Felt you at the beginning / needed you in the end"

Clarkston, MI: "We're out here / and we're ready"

Toronto, ON: "The stars are the same as ever / I don't have the guts to keep it together"

Forest Hills, NY: "So much for stardust / we thought we had it all"

Boston, MA: "Screaming at the stars / like night lights"

Darien Center, NY: "Buried alive inside my dreams / but it was all a fake-out"

Holmdel, NJ: "When the party ends / will you still love who I am"

Camden, NJ: "Twice the dreams / but half the love"

See a color-coded-by-song version here :]

[thewispsings]

queen shit | max verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x pageant queen! reader

summary: max verstappen mets you, his long term celebrity crush at a charity event.

notes; someone request this but i accidentally posted it before i finished and had to delete it…i hope this finds you anon

liked by rupaulofficial, maxverstappen, mclaren, and 913,047 others!

yoursername: very successful event tonight, many thank you's to all those who attended and donated, much love 💜

view comments below!

user1: by very successful she means that she just raised over 20 million dollars for family's in need. 20 million dollars. TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS.

user2: QUEEN. SHIT.

user3: i love rich people actually putting their money and status to work

user4: my goat 💪💪

user5: there were SO MANY different celebrities there

user6: and she definitely did NOT know all of them!

user7: probably just invited them so more money could be donated 😭

user8: was the most random people too, like kim kardiashian?? mitski??? f1 drivers??? hockey players??

user9: no seriously. because why was i watching the livestream only to see george russell dancing in the background. very horribly may i add

georegrussel|63: thank you for the invite! i had the time of my life!

yoursername: of course george! thank you for the donating :) <3

user10: they’re friends???

user11: some of yall are FAKE FANS. yn and george have been friends for YEARS. he even posted her when she won miss universe and many times after

user12: i wasn't even alive when she won miss universe...

user13: PAUSE.

user14: WHAT ARE YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA? THIS IS NOT A SAFE PLACE FOR YOU

user15: YOURE SIX?? AND CAN SPELL??

user16: are we all going to pretend like max didn't just meet his celebrity crush?

user17: most people here don't know who he is 😭

user18: "meet" is a STRETCH, he stood behind her all night just staring...

user19: yeah it was actually kinda sad

user20: f1twt is CLOWNING HIM SO HARD RN

user23: 3x world champion and he's too scared to go up to his celebrity crush

user24: OKAY GUYYYSSS BUTTT this is his first time seeing her in person! ofc he was shocked, maybe next time he'll actually go up to her?

landonorris: thanks for the invite!

georgerussell63: you were my plus one?

landonorris: SHHHH

georgerussell63: in fact, everyone on the grid got personally invited, except you?

landonorris: STOP AIRING OUT MY BUSINESS

user27: yn definitely didn't invite him directly just so lando could be embarrassed like this

alex_albon: best thai food ever (other then my moms) thank you for the invite!

user25: yeah we saw they way your scarfed that shit down

user26: acting like it was the last fucking supper

yourusername: thank you for coming alex! (and for taking home the leftovers)

user28: HE TOOK HOME THE LEFT OVERS?

maxverstappen1: hi

georgerussell63: oh no

landonorris: no way he does it

charles_leclerc: i believe in you max

carlossainz55: don't hype him up! max don't do it. don't embarrass yourself like this

oscarpiastri: i say go for it max

yourusername: hi max :)

georgerussell63: omg omg OMG

maxverstappen1: would you like to go on a date with me?

landonorris: oh he did it...

carlossainz55: NOOO

charles_leclerc: yay max!

user29: it's been 10 hours and still no response...

liked by georgerussell63, and 762,091 others!

yourusername: pretty sunset 🌅

view comments below!

user30: is that…a man?

user31: this makes max being rejected so much more humiliating

user32: SHE HAS A WHOLE BOYFRIEND?? 😓

user33: max found sobbing into his pillow

user34: *not clickbait*

georgerussell63: i laughed

user35: GEORGE???

user36: he’s funny for this

user37: max most definitely doesn’t think it’s funny

user38: yns first time soft launching and it’s right after max publicly asks her out…hm!

user39: she was waiting for the funniest moment to do this

user40: QUEEN SHIT

user41: ok but who is this man 🤨

user42: don’t call me delusional…but that hand kinda looks like max

user43: okay granny let’s get you back to the nursing home…

user44: thankful i’m not this delusional

user45: free yn from the max fans…

user46: @/user42 DONT LET THEM SILENCE YOU

landonorris: he cried

yourusername: i cried

landonorris; we crode

user47: okay it’s definitely max

user48: lando knows something

user49: MAX ISNT IN THE LIKES??

user50: it really isn’t him…hes been flirting with her through the likes for years

user51: rip max being the first to like yns post..gone but never forgotten 🕊️

charles_leclerc: hehehe…hehehe…hehe

user52: WHAT DO TOU KNOW CHARLES

user53: don’t fuck with me charles. i am not in the mood.

user54: you can’t convince me that man is not max when all his friends are in the comments section like this

user55: charles istg

alex_albon: i know something 😏

user56: ok. it’s definitely max.

user57: i still don’t think it is…we can’t see his face

user58: but what are the chances she soft launches after max asks her out

user59: she probably did it to be funny?

user60: and it worked! she’s too funny

liked by alex_albon, carlossainz, and 914,058 others!

maxverstappen1: matching sunglasses 🕶️

view comments below!

user61: QUICK, WHOS FEET DO THOSE LOOK LIKE

user62: oh max…

user63: okay so! it’s either max and yn DID go on that date, or yn has a bf and max posted this to save himself

user64: i realllyyy hope max and yn did go on that date because if max posted this just to save himself the embarrassment….

user65: what if this isn’t even a girl, and it’s one of max’s friend pretending to be a girl 😭

user66: i can see charles pretending to be the girl

user67: HE SO WOULD

charles_leclerc: those are NOT my toes 🤕

user68: okay but no one on the grid has skinny little girl hands like this

user68: logan does

logansargent: ?

user68: well this is awkward

georgerussell63: well well well

user69: THIS CAN MEAN MANY THINGS GEORGE!! IS THIS YN OR NOT

user70: i don’t think it’s yn. she’s too pretty for max.

comment liked by georgerussell63

user70: GEORGE LIKED??

user71: so it’s NOT yn?

user72: but he could mean it in a “they are dating but she’s too pretty for him” way

user73: GRRRR

carlossainz55: i can’t believe it

user74: WHAT. WHAT CANT YOU BELIVE CARLOS

user75: you can’t believe that yn and max actually went out?? or you can’t believe max got a another girl after being publicly rejected??

user76: they’re like giving us hints but at the same time they’re not??

user77: THEYRE PLAYING WITH US

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 802,520 others!

maxverstappen1: i’m dating a pageant queen and you’re not! 

view comments below!

user78: FINALLY!

user79: could’ve just said this earlier..

user80: could’ve saved us the trouble 😒

carlossainz55: i still can’t believe it

user81: SO HE DID MEAN IT IN A “can’t believe you actually got her” WAY

maxverstappen1: you have no faith in me :(

carlossainz55: correct!

charles_leclerc: i believed in you max!

maxverstappen1: thank you charles 😄

carlossainz55: he’s lying, he bet €50 you wouldn’t get a text back

maxverstappen1: THAT BASTARD

charles_leclerc: IT DIDNT SEEM LIKE YOU WERE GOING TO GET A REPLY! I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD TIME TO WIN €50 AND I WOULD’VE GIVEN YOU HALF?

user83: i could be dating a pageant queen, you don’t know me

user84: are you?

user83: am i what?

user84: dating a pageant queen?

user83: no

user84: what is wrong with you

user85: i love how nobody was hating, we all just wanted to know if max x yn was happening

user86: max has gotten his dream girl…WE CHEERED

user87: years later and lot of instagram likes, we DID IT 👏

user88: we?

user89: i was there almost 8 years ago when max put his first like on yns post, so yes! WE

user90: thank god for that charity event

liked by maxverstappen1

yourusername: former pageant queen

maxverstappen1: you’ll always be a pageant queen in my eyes 🥰

landonorris; simp

maxverstappen1: mad you don’t have a girlfriend?

user91: WOAH GIRLFRIEND?

user92: girl what did you think was going on here

user91: I DIDDNT KNOW THEY MADE IT OFFICIAL

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, and 715,047 others!

yourusername: i’m dating a 3x wdc and you’re not!

view comments below!

user92: please don’t rub it in

user93: i’m soooo happy for you guys (sarcasm)

user93: yes i’m jealous

danielricciardo: actually i am dating a 3x wdc and his name is max verstappen

yourusername; really? because max verstappen is is laying on me right now

danielricciardo: that’s a clone. the REAL max verstappen is laying to my right.

yourusername: this is what we call schizophrenia 🥰

user94: you guys are so cute! (i’m jealous, i’m so fucking jealous)

user95: max started dating his celebrity crush of 8 years in 8 days! we did it joe! we did it

user96: they won’t last. they’re moving to fast.

user97: they’re both grown adults who know what they want 🤷‍♀️

maxverstappen1: that’s me!

yourusername; that’s you!

georgerussell63: yeah max we have EYES.

maxverstappen1: don’t be pissy because yn likes me more now

georgerussell63: she does NOT

maxverstappen1: you keep thinking that 😇

charles_leclerc: i always knew he could do it!

maxverstappen1: no you didn’t. stop lying to me.

charles_leclerc: IM SORRY. I WAS GOING TO SHARE THE €50 WITH YOUUU.

maxverstappen1: I DONT CARE @/oscarpiastri is the ONLY know who truly believed in me

oscarpiastri: i bet €100 against you

maxverstappen1: I CANT TRUST ANYONE

alex_albon: does this mean we’ll be invited to more charity events?

user98: you’re just thinking of the food 😐

alex_albon: …yeah

maxverstappen1: 😁🥰👊😏🔥💕🤗

user99: bro starts dating his celebrity crush and forgets how to act

user100: me if i was dating oscar

. . .

notes: thank you for the request! (even though i accidentally deleted it)

[norrisainz33]

Seeing Doubles - GR63

☆ summary: George Russell attends Wimbledon and meets the tennis it girl, Y/N

☆ pairing: gr63 x reader

☆ fc: none

☆ warnings: none

୨୧┈୨୧

liked by landonorris, y/nuser, mercedesamgf1 and 543,322 others

georgerussell63: always a pleasure watching tennis 🎾 Congrats to y/n on your first of many wins at Wimbledon!

view all 1,234 comments

user12: Y/N AND GEORGE CROSS OVER?! dreams do come true

user10: who is y/n

user12: only one of the best women’s tennis players in the WORLD! don’t disrespect my mother like that

user10: my bad @.user12

user2: BARK BARK BARK

user3: Prince of England 👑

landonorris: omg! I think i saw you there! *liked by georgerussell63

mercedesamgf1: that’s our driver ����

user4: ok toto

liked by serenawilliams, georgerussell63, wimbledon, and 143,630 others

y/nuser: dreams do come true 🤍

view all 546 comments

user12: CONGRATS QUEEN

Wimbledon: Congratulations Y/N!

Adidas: Congrats y/n/n!

user13: peep george in the likes. what’s he doing here

user14: omg do you think they’re dating?

user16: chilllll they just met!

user12: MAMA Y PAPA

user16: alright @.user12 let’s get you to bed

georgerussell63: congrats y/n! impressive performance! 🎾🍓

y/nuser: thank you george! was wonderful meeting you 🏎️🍓

user12: AHHHHHHHH

f1gossip: GR63 seen leaving posh restaurant in London with Y/N Y/L/N after their supposed meeting at Wimbledon earlier in the week. New WAG alert?

view all 102 comments

user34: omg first date vibes??

user17: Y/N would make the best WAG trust

user40: she’s just using him for his fame smh

user17: be so serious rn she just won wimbledon she has no need for his “fame”

user12: they are going to get together just you wait

user14: i just hope she makes our Georgie happy

y/nuser posted to their story

view story replies:

y/bff: GIRL WHO IS THIS

y/n: heheh i’ll never tell 🤭

y/bff: DONT TELL ME ITS THE VROOM VROOM GUY

user12: LOOKS LIKE GEORGE TO ME

user14: GEORGEY/N SUPREMACY

user19: please give me one chance i beg

georgerussell63: no need to be nervous gorgeous 😉

y/n: such a charmer

georgerussell63: only for you

liked by landonorris, georgerussell63, maxverstappen1, mercedesamgf1 and 51,436 others

y/nuser: alright guys - i get the hype now. thanks to mercedes for having me!

view all 867 comments

user13: tennis x f1 crossover! my favorite fr

mercedesamgf1: it was a pleasure having you y/n! You are welcome back any time 💙

y/nuser: i’ll definitely take you up on that 😉

landonorris: noooo come to mclaren instead

alex_albon: no williams

lilymhe: what alex said

y/nuser: @.lilymhe: ok fine maybe ill stop by the williams garage but only for you

lilymhe: YAY 💙

georgerussell63: @.alex_albon mate you’re supposed to be helping me seal the deal not steal her comment has been deleted by user

user54: DID ANYONE JUSY SEE GEORGES COMMENT

user67: WE SAW YOUR COMMENT GEORGE liked by y/nuser

user67: OMG Y/N LIKED. u a real one for that girly

liked by lewishamilton, y/nuser, y/bff/user, mercedesamgf1, and 650,150 others

georgerussell63: an unforgettable weekend! i am so proud of this team - thank you for everything. Now on to summer break ☀️

view all 1,456 comments

user19: CONGRATS GEORGIE

landonorris: had a good luck charm with ya this weekend huh? congrats mate

user18: lando what do you know

user12: he’s def talking about y/n

mercedesamgf1: congratulations George!

y/nuser: congrats george!

georgerussell63: thanks y/n! glad you were able to watch me win at your first race 😉

user22: oh he shooting his shot fr

user26: did yall see the shot of her smiling up at him while he was on the podium 😭

georgerussell63 added to their story

view story replies

alex_albon: so you got the girl or what?

georgerussell63: i don’t kiss and tell

alex_albon: yes you yabba dabba do

georgerussell63: 😔

georgerussell63: i did get the girl tho 🤭

y/nuser added to their story

view story replies

y/bff: you’re with him aren’t you

y/n: yes 🤍

y/bff: i can’t believe i lost my wife

y/n: you’ll always have me bb girl

georgerussell63: pic creds when

y/n: shhh this was the softest of soft launches

୨୧┈୨୧

☆ a/n: this is my first ever smau so please be nice!! had a lot of fun writing this. I was inspired by george's wimbledon fit today. likes and reblogs appreciated 🧡

☆ part 2 is definitely going to happen so stay tuned!!

୨୧┈୨୧

© norrisainz33: please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[david-brittlesbee]

I posted 4,937 times in 2022

127 posts created (3%)

4,810 posts reblogged (97%)

I tagged 708 of my posts in 2022

#argentina - 34 posts

#world cup - 33 posts

#ramblings - 27 posts

#argie tag - 15 posts

#for later - 14 posts

#argie posting - 14 posts

#idk how to tag this - 13 posts

#tim and eric - 9 posts

#me - 9 posts

#ash williams - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#also i think its time some of yall realise the implications of how and why yall choose to treat the only character thats not part of ship

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

the real winner of u.s vs england is me because i wanted both to lose

101 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

#4

MI PAIS MI PAIS

166 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

#3

the BEST thing about the win its that we were the last ones on the group and people wanted us to lose and we FUCKING WON and now we are at the top

350 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

#2

I need to talk about how they used the "white savior complex"in Andor,i hope they did it on purpose and if not it's good that they didn't realise it because it's great!

I don't wanna give much spoilers but we see Cassian with his people and talking their native language but all that is taken away by a white woman,cassian doesn't get a chance to say no because 1)they both not understand each other and 2)he gets put to sleep by a drug

All this happens under the pretext that "hes gonna get killed if they leave him there",maybe to them they saved him but they stripped away his whole identity

This can be seeing today when white people adopt(mostly)babies from "poor" countries(or what they consider to be poor)under the same pretext that "they're giving them a better life"

377 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i need yall to see what happened on my country when the queen died because is so fucking funny

link to the original tweet with the video

865 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fighting-these-demons]

Bucch*g*ri Liveblog Ep 6

Arajin's angle of entry

OP 🎵🎸🎹🎶🎺🎻🎵🥁🎶

KENICHIRO!!!!!!!!! LOOK AT HIS HANDS!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖👀

Aaaaawwww Outa flashback!

I LOVE Marito's new outfit but his old one was very Kingdom Hearts Cool which really fits for a freshman honestly.

Also OF COURSE he had a big ol crush on Kenichiro!!! Who wouldn't???

AUGH KENICHIROOOOOOO

😫💖😭

The heart shaped throat wow! 😂

AND EVERYONE BLUSHED FROM KENICHIRO'S CHUCKLE

😧😳🥺

KENICHIRO LIKES MARIKO/GREEN GOBLIN'

WHAT A SENPAI KOUHAI RELATIONSHIP!!!! DAMN!!!!!!! HE HELD HIMSELF BACK TO KEEP FIGHTING HIM JESUS!!!!!!!!

💖💖💖

🎆✨🎆

Damn she's always getting in the middle of shit. I get it but like.

BIG BLUE EYES!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!

😭💖

They're gorgeous!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Wait who won???

Lmao girl you shouldn't have tried! 😂

Genie good on you for trying.

Oh wooow so despite believing him and trusting in the merging to help him fight he's back to thinking Genie is a figment of his imagination?

Well at least he knows others can see him now. Maybe he'll start taking things seriously?

NOOOOOO BLONDIE!!! 💔💔💔 TEAL TERROR!!! 😭😭😭 JAVASCRIPT AND PINK PETALS NO!!!!!

Oh wow Matakara really went for a KILLING BLOW after what Shindou did to Arajin.

😨😬🥶

I wonder if his brother went to Juvie in his place?

Wow right after his attempted murder and before his death they prioritize fanservice.

🙏

Bless

Oh hey!

Here She Comes!!!

IT'S KILLER VS KILLER ROUND 2

Dang if she didn't tear him to shred verbally. She cast Vicious Mockery

ARAJIIIIIIIIIIN!!! YEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

FINALLY HES STANDING UP!!!!!!! It's for this awful queen BUT STILL HES THINKING OF MATAKARA AND HIS REGRET FOR NOT STANDING UP FOR HIM THAT DAY!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PROGRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

His First Victory!!!!

🎊🎉🎊

GROUP HUG!!!!

AAAAAA JAVASCRIPT AND TEAL TERROR!!!!

Lmao! 😂 Poor Mariko. All he wants is to see Kenichiro.

MATAKARAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

💖💖💖

WOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD FOR HIM!!!!!!

He finally gets to walk home with Arajin!!!!!

Her cooking looks so good!!!!! 🥺💖

How many uniforms is that kid going through???

Geez this framing is wild they had zero chill when they made this.

Yall I don't care about Arajin! 😭 GIVE ME GENIE FAN SERVICE WOULD IT KILL YALL???

Look I love a tramp stamp as much as the next bitch but I don't want to see it on the kid.

🤦‍♀️

And come on dude isn't Ichiya ur tragic rival boyfriend or whatever?

Love Ichiyas collar damn.

ED Time! 👀🥁🎶🎵🎺🎸💖💖💖💖

PFFFFFFFFT Ivy SoulCaliburs fake subservience.

I Love that they make Kenichiro into a literal Giant for his lol! 😂💖

DANG OUTA!!!!!! 💖💖💖🥺🥺🥺

Forreal his mom is such a good cook and so fine and for what????? Her son to treat her that way???? It's a crime! 😭

[watchmegetobsessed]

Waiting for you - Harry Styles

❄️ FANFICmas 2020 ❄️

Read more about FANFICmas here!

i wrote it over like a month ago, but kept it for today, i hope yall will like it! it’s a cute bestfriends to lovers fic, so yeah... happy holidays, hope you are having an amazing time!

word count: 13k

masterlist

Harry Styles has been a household name around your home, but not for the reason many would think. While for the rest of the world he was the famous singer, former member of One Direction and recent solo artist, the guy who performs at the biggest arenas, wins awards and sings his heart out through the radio, for you and your mom he was the goofy, curly haired boy who lived across the street with his mum, sister and stepdad.

You still remember all too clear the first time you met him. You and your mum just moved into your new home after the nasty divorce of your parents, ready to start a new life. You’ve barely turned twelve, it was quite the awkward stage of your teenage years, you were still trying to find yourself on the rocky road of growing up. Moving to a whole new town and switching schools were terrifying and you had quite a few nightmares about possible outcomes of being the new girl in the neighborhood.

You and your mum just finished unpacking the dishes in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. She rushed to answer it and you wandered behind her, curiously peeking at the guests under her arm as she held the door open.

“Hi! We saw the trucks and thought we would say hi! I’m Anne and this is my son, Harry,” the nice woman greeted your mum and stepping aside she gestured towards the teenage boy standing next to her.

His green eyes fell to you almost immediately and you forgot to breathe for a moment. You were not the kind to crush that easily on guys, well, not until you laid your eyes on Harry. He smirked at you, nodding in your way in such an easy-going manner and you could feel the heat crawling up your neck to your cheeks and ears.

Anne and your mum quickly became good friends. She was the rock your mum definitely needed after such a bad year behind her and you were glad she found support in such a wonderful woman as Anne. Their newly funded friendship got stronger day by day until the two families just… simply felt one.

Growing up the Styles siblings and Anne came and go in your home as if they lived there too. On many occasions you came home from school only to find Anne in the kitchen while your mother wasn’t even home. Anne always knew when your mum was working the night shift at the hospital where she was a nurse and always made sure you had a warm dinner on those evenings, often inviting you over to just stay at theirs while your mum was away working. Birthdays, graduations, Easters and Christmases, they were all spent at either yours or at the Styles home, strengthening the bond between the two families.

You have always had a strong friendship with Gemma, but maybe because you were closer in age or for something else, but you became the closest with Harry. Two peas in a pod, as your mums liked to call the two of you. You weren’t just neighbors or good friends, it was clear to anyone and to both of you as well that you were the best of friends. You were there for each other at the best and worst of times, before and after Harry’s launch to stardom. You were there with him all along, sometimes physically, sometimes just through text messages and reassuring calls when he just needed a piece of his home away from home. Late night calls and talks were your usual when he was on the road and he made sure to only talk about his life after you’ve told him everything about yours, even if the most interesting thing was that you were able to buy three socks for the price of two. Harry listened and cared for everything that happened to you, not letting you think even for a moment that he would forget about his best friend when he is on the other side of the planet.

The two of you grew up together and while his life consisted of concerts, screaming fans, telly appearances and award shows, your mundane everydays went on the same was as any normal young girl’s: you graduated from high school, went to uni and then started a career for yourself. As time was moving it became a little more and more complicated to stay as close as you used to, though, both of you terribly busy with your own personal lives, so the calls, texts and meetings became less frequent, but you were always able to pick up from where you left, it was as easy with him as it could be.

Maybe that’s why you grew to love him in a more than friendly way through the years. Slowly, but surely you started to realize what an amazing man he really was –is. It was impossible not to fall for him, however you valued your close friendship more than to just ruin it with dropping a bomb on Harry. You always thought he doesn’t feel the same way, so you were sadly left with your daydreams and fantasies about him only your bedroom walls heard.

This year it’s gonna be the tenth Christmas you get to celebrate together, quite the anniversary. There were only two years when you didn’t see each other during the holidays, the first one because you and your mum spent it in Canada with some relatives that live there, and the second one was because Harry couldn’t come home a few years ago, having a too tight schedule. But this year, everyone made sure to make it back home in time. Harry called you three month before Christmas to check in if you are still gonna coming home.

“Would be an idiot not to. Can’t wait to stuff my head with cookies!” you chuckled.

“Have you found your sweater yet?” Harry questioned, the muffled noise of the traffic around him broke through the line as he was on his way home when he called.

“Not yet. But I’ve been looking. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna win this year,” you smirked in victory.

“Oh, not so fast with the assumptions, little girl!” he warned you making you laugh.

The two of you had a kind of tradition. Every year, you go on mission to find the ugliest Christmas sweaters one could find, and then perform a chosen song at the karaoke machine after dinner, entertaining the rest of the family. Those performances are the best memories you nurse. Your absolute favorite one was just a couple of years ago when Harry’s sweater was filled with weird looking reindeers in quite inappropriate poses, he even added a glittery pair of sunnies and he sang I Want To Break Free from the Queen. Everyone was on the floor laughing as he took the living room by storm as if it was the Maddison Square Garden filled with thousands of screaming fans, while it was just the five of you.

He won that year, Hell, even you voted on him, giving him the cleanest win of all times, but you swore to live up to that performance and you really feel like this year is gonna be your chance to live up to that promise. You have quite some tricks up your sleeves.

These past couple of years you were anxiously waiting for the holidays to roll around, because you knew you would get to spend so much time with Harry and through the year, even with several occasions of the two of you meeting, you missed him dearly. Sometimes you selfishly wished he would have just stayed the boy across the street so your lives could take tracks that run at least close to each other, but you always reminded yourself that his work was his life and you would have never taken away his true passion and happiness. Besides, you love watching him perform from time to time, that was just one of your favorite sides of him, see his eyes shine so bright as he sang to his fans. You used to envy the fangirls, it always seemed like he had a special connection with them, but you realized that you were one of them. You felt the same excitement when he stepped on the stage, you bought all his albums, even though he made sure you’d be one of the first people to get your hands on it. You had a second copy of them, because buying it gave you the extra jolt of happiness and the feeling that you were a tiny part of his success too. You watched all his music videos, knew the lyrics to his songs and cheered on him whenever he won another award. Difference was that at the end of the day you could call him and tell him how proud you were of him and he stared back at you with that beautiful grin, his dimples digging deep in his cheeks, telling you that he wouldn’t be here without you. You always knew he just said it to make you feel special, but he insisted it was the truth.

“I’m telling you. It you weren’t with me I would have gone crazy already, pulling a Justin Bieber or summat. Don’t think you are any less than what you are, that’s just daft.”

Every time he said something along those lines those damned butterflies in your stomach went crazy and you tried your best to ignore them. You didn’t always succeed, but the effort was there.

 Now it’s two days before Christmas and you are already standing in your old room after coming home from London, leaving your small but cozy little apartment empty until the next year. The walls are still the same lilac color you chose when you were fourteen, a twin bed is pushed against the wall under your window, the wardrobe’s door is littered with old pictures from high school and ones you cut out from magazines. You just never got around to take them down and after a while it brought you a comforting sense every time you came home. A warm nostalgia took over you when you saw them, so they eventually stayed.

Your suitcase is lying on the floor as you unpack some stuff you’ll be using often during your stay, but you don’t get far in the packing when you hear an all too familiar voice coming from downstairs. Leaving your stuff as it is you rush down and throw your arms around Anne from behind, who is standing in the kitchen with your mum.

“My sweet angel! How are you?!” she cheers turning around in your hold to hug you back, giving you a tight squeeze before she pushes you away so she can have a good look on you. “Swear you get prettier every time I see you!”

“Stop it, my head’s gonna get big,” you chuckle feeling yourself blushing a little.

“Never gonna stop praising my daughter,” she smiles and gifts you with a cheeky wink.

Anne was never shy to let you know that she thought of you as a second daughter and you still remember how it felt when she called you that for the first time. It felt nice to know that you could count on her no matter what.

The three of you chat in the kitchen, Anne asks you about your job and how things have been going, she hasn’t seen you in a while. You missed the times when you could just go across the street and have a talk with her whenever you wanted, but since you’ve moved to London, Harry wasn’t the only one you didn’t get to see as often as you would have wanted. Your job and life overall got you so busy sometimes, you barely had time to call your own mum.

“Harry is arriving this evening. Wanna come with us to fetch him up at the airport?” she asks you and of course you say yes. You wouldn’t miss the chance to greet him with a bone crushing hug just after he lands.

However, as the time nears when you’d have to leave to the airport, Anne calls you up and asks if you could go on your own.

“I didn’t finish cooking and Gems is in an online meeting. Would you mind if you went alone?” she asks and though it sounds a little made up, you don’t question her.

On your way to the airport you are nervously drumming on the wheel, the thought of seeing Harry excites and worries you a little. It’s been months since you last seen him in the flesh and though you’ve talked plenty of times on the phone and in video calls, it’s just not the same. You find yourself wondering if he still smells the same, if you’ll fit the same way into his embrace as before. When you were younger you often liked to think about the two of you as two pieces of legos when you hugged. Your frame just fitted so perfectly against his body, he was your absolutely favorite person to hug.

Standing in a corner at the terminal, you keep checking the board until his flight’s status changes to landed. Then your eyes are glued to the sliding glass doors, knowing well it’s gonna take him some time to get his bags and walk out, but you are just way too excited to finally see him again.

People start walking through the doors and your head perks up every time you see a slightly tall frame, only to realize it’s still not him. Until it is.

You can’t bite your growing smile back when you spot him, a beanie and the hood of his hoodie covering his mop of hair, sunnies hiding his eyes, but you’d recognize him even from just the tiniest detail. You push yourself away from the wall as you see him look around, probably searching for his mum and sister, because he was already on his way when Anne decided it’s gonna be you who fetches him up, so he doesn’t know about the change.

“Excuse me, can I get a picture?” you ask teasingly walking up to him and for a moment you can tell he believes it’s a fan who recognized him, but his face quickly changes once his eyes land on you.

“Fo’ fuck’s sake, you had me for a second,” he breathes out, his arms already reaching out to pull you against him and you gladly envelop yourself into his hold. “What are you doing here?” he mumbles tightening his arms around you, and you don’t mind it. As you face is pressed into his shoulder you smile when you realize that he still smells the same. Like home.

“Your mum asked me to come and get you because she didn’t finish cooking. But if you ask me she just wanted to surprise you with me. You happy to see me?” you smirk up at him letting your head fall back so you could look into his eyes.

“Always,” he grins before placing a soft kiss to your temple and letting go of you.

The two of you leave the terminal before anyone could recognize him and packing his stuff up into the car you head back home.

You hand your phone over to him once you hit the road so he can be in charge of the music and it’s no surprise when he starts playing Christmas music straight away. Grinning to yourself you glance over at him and see him scrolling through your camera roll like the nosy little gremlin that he is.

“Hey! I did not give you permission to snoop around my phone!” you warn him, but don’t try to snatch it away from him, there’s really nothing he shouldn’t see, besides, half of those pics have been sent to him through messages.

“Just tryna catch up w’ you,” he mumbles under his breath, continuously opening up photos he is interested in. “New couch, eh?” he asks showing you the screen for a second.

“Yeah, bought it a few weeks ago. You like it?”

“Looks comfy. I should try it out sometime.”

“You never sleep on my couch, what are you talking about?”

“Right, you always drag me t’ your bed,” he snorts and you gasp at him, smacking his chest gently.

“That’s so not true! You always just arbitrarily make yourself comfortable in my bed and I don’t have the heart to kick you out,” you correct him.

There hasn’t been many times when Harry crashed at your place, but when he did, he always slept in your bed with you, and the two of you have shared a bed a few other times prior too. It’s nothing new, though it does have a deeper meaning for you than for him, you think. Waking up with Harry snoring lightly next to you, admiring how peaceful and beautiful he is in this intimate state, you just wish you could see him like this all the time.

Harry smirks at you cheekily, scrunching his nose as he chuckles.

“’Cause I wouldn’t want to sleep anywhere else, Love,” he says before turning his attention back to your phone while you try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach at the nickname.

It’s quite late by the time you get home, you’ve run into some traffic, but it just meant more time with Harry. You gladly listened to his stories and you are happy you got some alone time with him. Parking up to your driveway you help him unload his bags before locking the car.

“Wanna go to the Christmas market in the morning? Promised Gemma I’d go with her and Michal,” he asks, slowly walking down the driveway towards his home.

“Uh, sure,” you nod smiling. Not that you had any other plans, the holidays are reserved for family and the Styles’ are family.

“Great, I’ll be here at ten. And thanks for the ride,” he smirks waving goodbye and you watch him cross the street before he disappears in his home and you do the same.

“Y/N? Is that you?” your mum calls out when you walk in.

“Were you expecting anyone else?” you ask, hanging your coat before you join her in the living room.

“Not,” she smiles giddily. “Was everything alright at the airport?”

You throw your legs over her lap and she squeezes your ankles playfully.

“Yeah, everything fine.”

“How is Harry?”

“Cheeky and smug, as always,” you huff smirking.

“Can’t wait to see him. I feel like I haven’t seen ‘im in ages.”

“When are they coming over tomorrow?”

“Anne said she’ll come around four to help me cook, the rest I don’t know. Dinner will be done around seven though.”

“I’m pretty sure Gemma and Harry will be here along with Anne,” you snort, knowing well they wouldn’t miss a chance to come over, especially Harry. He has been talking nonstop how he’ll be glued to your hip once he is back home, making up for all the time you’ve spent apart.

“They surely will,” your mum chuckles before you both turn your attention at the telly.

You go to bed way after midnight and finish up the packing you left abruptly when you left to get Harry. Shuffling around in your room you glance out the window and see that the light in Harry’s room is on too. Peeking out you lean against the window’s frame, thinking about the times when the two of you sat in the window, talking on the phone after curfew, keeping your voice down so your parents didn’t wake up, sharing secrets and your silliest thoughts. With Harry, you never felt like you had to keep anything back, he would have never judged you for anything, you could be your true self around him and vice versa.

A tall figure appears at the window and as Harry glances out his window he is quick to see you sitting on the window sill, your head resting against the frame. The two houses are not far away from each other and you see him grinning as he sits at the window as well, pulling out his phone, a moment later yours starts buzzing on the nightstand. You quickly grab it, and go back to the window.

“Creeping on me, eh?” he hums into the phone and you roll your eyes at him.

“Was just admiring the street lights, don’t flatter yourself, your head is getting too big,” you huff, but you can’t push your smirk down.

“Admit it, you were hoping to see me roam around naked, weren’t you?”

“As if I haven’t seen you like that before,” you snort making him laugh too. It’s true, Harry has never been shy to get rid of his clothes and he also doesn’t bother to draw the blinds whenever he is changing. You once saw him butt naked when he was nineteen, and when you told him to close the blinds next time he is changing, he just shrugged with a smug smile.

“’M not ashamed of anything, Love,” he told you and you had to turn away because you were blushing for sure.

“Right, you’re a fan of putting yourself on full display when you’re naked, almost forgot,” you chuckle shaking your head. “Millions of girls have the picture of you, lying naked on their walls.”

“You one of them?” he cheekily asks.

“Nah, doesn’t go well with the vibe of my apartment.”

“Shame. Though I think it would definitely look amazin’ above your bed, Love.”

“Now would it? I don’t know about that.”

“I’ll get you a copy framed,” he smirks and you can see it clear even from the distance. “Y’ know what? I’ll make you an exclusive one. One that nobody else has, how does that sound?”

“I can’t believe you, Styles,” you chuckle shaking your head. “I’m not gonna answer this, just gonna head to bed. You should too.”

“So we’re not sharing any secrets like we used to? Thought you’d have something fo’ me.”

“You know everything, Harry,” you sigh with a soft smile, though your heart skips a beat. He does know everything, except one big, fat, heavy secret you’ve been carrying around for way too long, that will probably stay with you forever.

“Right. Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Night, Harry.”

“Good night, Love,” he murmurs and you know he is smiling, thought he steps away from the window as he says goodbye and you do the same before ending the call.

 ***

 “Hey! That’s mine!” you protest as Harry steals another roasted chestnut from your little paper bag, but you can’t stay mad at him when he is smiling at you so sweetly.

“Sorry, tastes better when it’s someone else’s.”

“Sure,” you snort and just let him get as many as he wants. You wouldn’t have eaten it all anyway.

It’s quite cold out in the town, but at least there’s no rain or storm, so the weather didn’t try to ruin your little trip to the Christmas market.

Gemma calls out for Harry to show him something and you just keep wandering between the booths, enjoying the atmosphere quite a lot, you have no idea when was the last time you got to come to the market, though you always loved coming when you were younger.

Finishing up your chestnuts you throw the paper bag into a trash can and turn around to find the rest of your little group, spotting Harry and Gemma deep in discussion next to a booth that offers handmade ceramic mugs. As you walk closer it almost seems like as if they were having a fight, which is just odd, they rarely do that.

“Just get your head out of your arse!” you catch Gemma telling her brother who only groans in frustration before he spots you, a smile plastering across his face.

“Hey, there you are!” he beams.

“Everything alright?” you ask looking at them.

“Sure, just Gemma is being a little nosy, is all,” Harry waves in dismiss. You glance over to Gems, but she is already back in discussion with Michal so you decide to drop it. “You ate all the chestnuts?” Harry asks offended, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“Well, it was mine, so of course I ate them!”

“Selfish,” he narrows his eyes at you, but you both know it’s just a joke.

You walk further down in the aisle, occasionally stopping at some of the booth when you spot a place that offers hot chocolate in cute little mugs that you can take home with you if you’d like, or just take it back and get your money back.

“Oh look!” you gasp excitedly and head towards the hot chocolate booth. The old lady smiles brightly at the two of you as you take a look at all the choices. “Oh my god, they have caramel flavored!” you cheer, basically already drooling at the thought of a good, caramel flavored hot chocolate.

“What can I get for the lovely couple?” the lady smiles warmly at the two of you and you freeze at her assumption.

“Oh we—“ you start, but Harry cuts you off.

“A caramel flavored and a plain one, please,” he orders, without even batting an eye about how the lady just called you a couple. You can feel your cheeks heating up at the thought, but you try to calm yourself. He probably just didn’t want to get into explaining that you two are not an item and let her think what she wanted.

The nice lady hands you your mug and you take Harry’s as well as he pays for both of them. You would try to argue with him and pay yours, but you are already used to how stubborn he is and he never lets you split anything, it’s always on him.

“Thank you, have a nice day!” Harry calls out to the lady before the two of you leave. You peek at him handing him his mug, looking for any clue that would give away if this little scene got him just as bothered as it did you, but he looks perfectly fine and relaxed, so you decide not to bring it up. You’re sure he didn’t think much of it.

Your little stroll stretches into the afternoon, the four of you decide to have lunch out there too, then you just opt for a walk in town as Gemma wants to do a quick last minute Christmas shopping, so by the time you get home Anne is already over at yours helping your mum with dinner. Tonight you are all eating at yours, then tomorrow it’s the Styles’ turn to host, this is how you agreed this year.

“Woah, it smells amazing!” you call out walking into the house. The delicious smells fill up the whole place and you hear the two women giggling in the kitchen.

“Hi Honey, how was the market?” your mum greets you, a glass of red wine in her hand and the same goes for Anne.

“Great, we have a new mug,” you say holding up the emptied out hot chocolate mug. Stepping to the sink you wash it quickly and drying off you put it away in one of the cabinets.

You stick around in the kitchen and not so much later Harry comes over, the two of you leave your mums alone and get comfortable in front of the telly.

All channels are filled with holiday movies and you don’t mind, really, you like them all even if you’ve seen them a million times, you still find them funny and cute. Harry feels the same way, so when you settle on Love Actually he doesn’t say a word.

What startles you is that he grabs your ankles and pulls your legs over his lap, a small shriek escaping your mouth since you weren’t expecting him to do that. You’re sitting sideways, your legs are bent at the knee and Harry is kind of hugging them as his eyes are glued to the screen.

You find it rather hard to focus on the movie when Harry’s fingers keep fidgeting on your legs, they keep running up and down, sometimes he lays his hands flat on your knees, there’s no spot he hasn’t touched since you started watching the movie.

About an hour into the film he turns to you and you look at him in question.

“’M in the mood to cuddle,” he announces and starts moving around, not even letting you protest as he basically crawls to your lap, resting his head on your stomach as the two of you lay on the couch.

“Am I now your personal pillow?” you ask chuckling, but you wouldn’t want him to move for anything. Feeling him weigh down on you just feels so warm and simple but amazing.

“The best one,” he mumbles, bringing a hand to your side as you let your fingers comb through his curls.

You keep massaging his scalp and he lets out soft moans when you go over a soft spot, you can’t help but chuckle as he melts under your hands. His fingers start drawing circles on your side and the movie is long forgotten by you, all you can focus on is how great it is to have Harry so close to you. He is known to be a physical person, you are used to hugs and touches, but it seems like he is a little needier now than the usual.

You don’t mind it though, you just try to enjoy the moment, because it can end anytime.

Gemma and Michal come over a little before seven, and while your mums finish up the cooking the four of you set the table. You grab the crystal glasses and start placing them to the table, Harry lending you a hand. Once the table is all set you shuffle into the kitchen to see if there’s anything you can help with, Harry following you behind, placing a hand to the small of your back.

As you stand and wait for you mum to finish up the meals so you can help carry them to the table you feel Harry’s hand wander over to your hip, giving it a squeeze as he stands closer, so his chest is pressed against your back.

“Harry?” you ask a little out of breath.

“Hm?” he innocently hums.

“What’s with you today?” Turning your head to the side your eyes lock with his, but he just shrugs smiling.

“Guess I just missed yeh a lot.”

“You’re weird,” you chuckle shaking your head, but don’t make an effort to push him away. His touch feels way too good to put an end to it and you just want to be selfish a little longer.

His hands leave you when the two of you help to bring the food to the table, and you almost wish they would just return, but you gotta swallow the thought.

The food is amazing, as always. You all sip on some wine, just having a genuinely good time, enjoying that all of you are back at one place, something that rarely happens now that all three of you kids are all grown up.

At one point Harry rests his arm on the back of your chair, no one seems to notice but you. All these little things have been driving you crazy all day and your mind seems to be playing a nasty game with you. There’s no way Harry thinks of these details more than what they are, a friendly gesture towards an old friend of his.

When Gemma is telling a story about some weird guy she met at work Harry reaches up and pushes your hair behind your ear, his finger lingering over your neck a little longer than you would have expected. Turning to face him you give him a questioning look, not sure what to think about his needy and touchy self all of a sudden.

“What?” you mouth him, but he just smiles at you absentmindedly, curling a strand of hair around his finger, playing with it for a moment before letting go of it and going for another lock. You reach up and pull his hand away, feeling yourself heating up from his touch, but when you are about to let go of his hand he grabs yours, lacing your fingers together with yours as he rests them on his thigh.

“Harry…” you breathe out, glancing at the others, relieved to see that they are not paying much attention to the two of you.

“What? Am I not allowed to touch you?” he asks with a smug smirk and you roll your eyes at him.

“As I said, you’re weird,” you mumble under your breath looking down at your now empty plate. Harry gives your hand a squeeze.

“But like, the good kind of weird, yeah?”

“Shut up,” you chuckle shaking your head at him.

You try to tell yourself he is just needy because it’s been so long since you last saw each other. It can’t be more, you push even the smallest thought to the back of your mind, though it surely lingers there throughout the evening.

He helps you with washing the dishes, you stand arm to arm at the sink as you scrub the plates and hand over to him for drying. He gently hums to himself all along, swaying his hips, bumping against yours. At first you resist it, but then you catch the rhythm and start moving along, so your hips meet in the middle before swinging to the opposite side.

“What’s the song?” you ask finishing up the last plate.

“Just something random,” he shrugs smirking over at you. You hand him the last plate, he is still singing, making up gibberish lyrics to his song and once he puts the plate down he throws the kitchen cloth to the counter and easily grabs your waist pulling you against him as he starts swaying with you to his impromptu song. You let out a small shriek at the sudden movement, but eventually melt into his hold. The humming slowly turns into an all too familiar melody as Harry starts singing Sweet Creature into your ear, slow dancing in the kitchen while you hear your mums and Gemma laugh outside somewhere.

Your hands run up his arms and stop behind his neck as you lock your fingers and let him hold you close, his palms are pressed to your waist, fingers gently stroking you through the fabric of your shirt. You take a deep breath and his cologne fills your nose, one of your favorite scents, sometimes you just wish you could spray it on your pillow so it would always smell like him.

“Sweet creature, wherever I go, you bring me home…” he softly sings, leaning back just enough for your eyes to meet. It feels like your heart is about to burst out of your chest, it’s not the first time you feel so intimidated by him, like you could pass out any moment, but this is a little different. As if his eyes were telling you another story, but you can’t completely make up the words.

“Sweet creature, when I run out of road, you bring me home, you’ll bring me home.” He finishes the song, hums the closing melody and you watch him in complete awe. Your lips part when you catch his gaze move down to them and you swear you see him leaning closer, as if he is about to kiss you. Your breath gets caught in your throat, he is so close, just a few more inches and you’d taste those perfect lips of his, the ones you’ve been dreaming about for way too long.

It almost happens, it seems, but just when that last push is about to set in Gemma waltz into the kitchen and you step back faster than light, pushing him away even though the sudden lack of his touch is more painful than you were expecting.

“You guys—Oh, what’s up?” she asks stopping at the door and you feel yourself getting redder with each passing moment, the heat crawling up your neck, ears cheeks, right to the top of your head. What were you thinking? You let yourself believe Harry would ever kiss you, this whole scene was nothing more than just a friendly moment the two of you were sharing.

“I’m—sorry,” you breathe out making your way out of the kitchen, right up to your room to have some well needed space.

“Way to ruin everything,” Harry snickers at his sister.

“You joking? You wanted to kiss her in her mum’s kitchen?” Gemma snaps at him in disbelief.

“We were having a moment,” he mumbles rubbing his face with his hands. “Up until you stomped in with your big mouth.”

“Well, if you were havin’ a moment, just make it happen again.”

“As if it’s that easy, Gemma!” he scoffs throwing his hands in the air.

“Man up and tell her how you feel, don’t have to complicate it too much,” she shrugs before walking out and leaving her brother alone. Harry growls in frustration, the gears in his head turning wildly as he is trying to figure out how to come clear to you about his feelings.

 Meanwhile, up in your room you get out your laptop and busy yourself with checking up on messages and emails you’ve been ignoring, hoping that the uneasy feeling in your chest will ease very soon. Your hands were shaking when you locked yourself up in your room, but as you get focused on other tasks you slowly gain your balance back.

You kind of even forget that the Styles’ were over, you only realize that you abruptly pulled yourself out of the evening when there’s a soft knock on your door.

“Come on in!” you call out and a moment later Harry’s head pops in, eyes softly falling on your sitting figure on the bed. “Hey,” you smile at him faintly.

“Hey. Thought you were sleepin’s or summat.” Coming inside he closes the door behind him then sits on your plush rug in the middle of the room.

“Just… sorted some work related things out,” you sigh.

“Working during the holidays? Tha’s not healthy.”

“I know, I’m done,” you smile shutting the laptop down and putting it aside. “Sorry I disappeared, I just—“

“No worries,” Harry shakes his head. “Mum and Gems went home, they thought you were sleeping too, tha’s why they didn’t say goodbye.”

“Oh, alright.”

“But I thought we could have a sleepover,” he peeks at you with a boyish smile.

“What, like we did in middle school?” you chuckle.

“Yea, thought it would be fun.”

“Well, I don’t think my bed would fit us comfortably and we don’t have the mattress anymore that you used to sleep on,” you tell him looking around.

“Nonsense, I’m not tha’ big,” he insists hopping to his feet and throwing himself on the bed, ignoring that you’re already there. His body takes up more than half on the bed , limbs wrapping around you as he brings you down to the mattress next to him, you can’t help the laugh that leaves your lips.

“You’re like a gigantic baby, Harry!” you laugh as he keeps you down on the bed with his arm.

“It’s perfectly fine for two people,” he mumbles with a smirk, closing his eyes as his head sinks into your pillow.

“Do you ever get no as an answer?” you ask looking at him in awe. You can never get used to seeing him so up close, like not many get to.

“No,” he huffs in satisfaction, his arm bringing you closer to him and you just giggle at him.

“I’m not sleeping just yet, gotta have a shower first.”

“Do what you want, I’ll be here,” he mumbles but you snort at him.

“You’re not sleeping in my bed without having a shower,” you tell him before you grab your pajamas and head to the bathroom.

You have a quick shower and get done with all your evening business. Returning to your room you find Harry sitting on the floor, his back against the side of the bed as he is scrolling through his phone.

“Does mum know you’re staying over?” you ask him as you throw your used clothes into the hamper, moving around the room while feeling his eyes on you.

“Yeah. ‘S all good.”

“You need a towel?”

“Yes please,” he says pushing himself up from the floor.

“Clothes?” you ask with an arched brow. He just grins at you and it’s enough of an answer. “Here,” you give him the shirt and sweats he has left at yours quite some time ago, along with a clean towel.

“Thanks,” he smirks before leaving to occupy the bathroom.

He doesn’t take long in there, you’re lying in bed already when he returns, smelling like your shower gel, strawberry and melon.

He throws his clothes to the chair in the corner and then lies beside you on the bed. You scoot over to the wall to give him space, but he is quick to bring you closer to him once he has made himself comfortable. You lay your head on his shoulder as you are both scrolling through your phones.

When you had enough, you throw yours to the nightstand, and stay cuddled up to his side.

“Do you remember the last time I slept here?” he asks tossing his phone to the nightstand and bringing his arms around you.

“Mm, was it at my twentieth birthday?”

“Yeah. You were so wasted,” he chuckles and you smirk to yourself

“But you took good care of me.”

“I did. You were so cute, rambling about how much you love me when I took you home from the pub.”

You bite into your bottom lip. You still remember that night vividly. Your birthday party had gone a little wild and you had gotten drunker than you intended to. Luckily, he was there to bring your home and he stayed in the bathroom with you as you threw up everything you ate and drank that evening. Then he made you take a shower, got you fresh clothes out and helped you get into bed. He slept next to you that night, holding you in his arms, gently caressing your back and upper arm as you fell into your drunken slumber. In the morning you told yourself he just did what any other friend would do, helping you out when you were clearly knocked out, but he made you breakfast in the morning since your mum was working all night and morning and he stayed over later the afternoon to make sure you were alright.

What you told him in your drunken state about loving him, it wasn’t just your friendly side, it was your drunken self coming clear to him, telling him that you are in love with him, but he didn’t take it seriously and you were too ashamed and awkward to even bring it up to him after that, so it was all forgotten very soon.

Following that you planned on telling him how you feel, several times. You even wrote a little speech you planned to give him when the time comes, but you couldn’t do it. The fear of losing him if he doesn’t feel the same was stronger than you expected and every time you had the chance to come clear, you chickened out. The thought of losing him as a friend is way worse than having to push your feelings down... forever. You just can’t imagine your life without Harry in it and you can’t risk losing him.

The two of you talk for quite a while, laughing about the good old times, until you both fall asleep. Sometime in the middle of the night you wake up and feel Harry wrapped around you, his head lying on your chest as he is snoring softly. He truly is like a big baby, an arm thrown over your stomach, his legs tangled with yours. Good Lord, how amazing it feels to have him so close to you!

Reaching up you tangle your fingers through his hair gently so he doesn’t wake up, his soft curls glide between your fingers easily and lifting your head you kiss the top of his head before letting yourself drift back to sleep.

When you open your eyes the next time the situation is the opposite, you are the one cuddled up to Harry’s side who is scrolling through his phone with one hand, keeping the other one on your arm.

“Mornin’, sleepy head,” he chuckles softly when he sees you awake.

“Mmm, what time is it?” you ask letting your head rest on his chest a little longer.

“Quarter to nine. You can sleep a little more if you want, it’s not that late.”

“No, I promised mum I’d help her wrap gifts,” you sigh rolling over to your stomach as you push yourself up to your elbows to look at him. “Love the double chin you got going there,” you tease him sleepily and he just smirks.

“Yea? Quite cute, right? Worked a lot on it,” he jokes running his finger over it before letting out a chuckle. “Ready for our battle today?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. You are going down this year, Styles,” you tell him pushing yourself up into a sitting position. Harry only pushes himself further on the bed enough to rest his head against the headboard.

“Oh really? I wouldn’t be that sure about tha’,” he warns you, but you are feeling pretty confident about your performance this year. There’s no way he can top it.

“We’ll see. Alright, I need a coffee. Want something for breakfast?” you ask him crawling out of the bed.

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

Your mum is already in the kitchen, sipping on her morning coffee while reading the paper. She doesn’t find it even a bit weird that Harry spent the night at yours, it’s been quite the usual for you. Harry helps you make eggs and bacon and the three of you eat together, having a lovely time and you genuinely feel like it’s just like in the good old times when you were still living home and Harry wasn’t Harry Styles, but the boy from across the street.

He goes home after breakfast to help his own mum with the cooking for tonight’s dinner and you don’t do much for the rest of the day, just spend time with your mum, watch movies and relax. It’s nice to unwind after such a busy year behind you.

Not long before five you go to take a shower and get ready to head over to the Styles’ and you pack everything you’ll need for the evening: gifts, ugly sweater, accessories. Harry is going down this year for sure.

It’s a little past six when you and your mum walk across the street, Anne’s Christmas lights are putting the little town house into the spirit for sure. You don’t even ring the bell, just walk straight in, like you always do. The Christmas tree stands tall in their living room and the table is already nicely set. Gemma and Michal are snuggled up on the couch while Harry is helping Anne in the kitchen with the finishing touches.

“I’m rooting for you this year,” Gemma winks at you when you set down your bag in the corner that has everything you’ll need for your performance.

“He’s gonna lose this round,” you smirk proudly, very sure in yourself.

Harry greets you with a bright smile and a tight hug when he walks into the living room, as if you didn’t just see each other a few hours earlier.

When the food is ready you all sit down to eat, and though you’re trying your best to focus on the conversation, you’re getting excited about tonight’s karaoke battle.

“Anxious much?” Harry asks you quietly.

“Why are you asking?”

He doesn’t answer, just places a hand to your thigh stopping it from shaking, making you realize you’ve been probably bouncing it all along. He smirks at you as you just roll your eyes at him.

“’S okay, you can handle one more year of losing,” he teases you and you give him an arched eyebrow.

“Don’t be so full of yourself, Harry,” you warn him, but he just squeezes your thigh again before bringing his hands back up to the table, leaving you a little breathless with his touch.

You all help clean up the table after dinner and when it’s done, you gather in the living room to open gifts.

When Harry’s career launched, the first few years you felt anxious about gifting him, because you felt like you couldn’t give him enough. He had all the money and bought everything he needed for himself, there wasn’t much you could give him. But when one time, you admitted to him this struggle of yours he assured you that it doesn’t matter what you give him, it’ll always be precious to him.

“You thought about me, you took the time to buy something for me, and that’s more than enough, Y/N,” he told you and though it took you time, but you got used to it. Especially when you saw the same excitement in his eyes every time you gifted something to him, you slowly but surely realized he wasn’t expecting a Gucci suit, but a thoughtful gesture.

Gathering in the living room you open the presents one by one and just as always, everyone was quite creative with the gifts. You can’t help but still feel a little anxious when Harry grabs his gift from you. Giving you an excited look he unties the little bow on the top and tears the wrapping paper off.

“Y/N!” he breathes out, eyes softening as he pulls the knitted cardigan out of the box.

“I always saw you wearing all sorts of cardigans and so I finally had a reason to learn how to knit, so I thought I would make one for you,” you ramble as he holds up the baby blue cardigan that has little daisies all over the front. It took you an entire week to just make the daisies, you worked on the whole cardigan for more than two months, usually in the middle of the night, staying up until unholy hours to finish in time.

But Harry’s smile is worth it all, he is beaming, clearly so in love with what you made him, so you breathe out relieved. He then puts it aside and wraps his arms around you pulling you into the tightest hug.

“Thank you, I love it so much,” he mumbles and kisses your temple and you breathe in his sweet scent, burying yourself in his embrace, hugging his waist.

When you part, Harry reaches for a box from under the tree and hands it to you, a nervous smile tugging on his lips. You can tell he wrapped the gift himself, the silver wrapping paper is a little uneven, but the huge rainbow colored bow on the top is the perfect touch that makes it like a piece of him.

You carefully tear the paper off, peeking inside you just see a plain box that doesn’t give much away. Glancing up at Harry you see how he is anxiously biting his bottom lip, even though you’d be happy with a gift as small as a candle. It’s the thought that counts.

“I-I wasn’t sure if this was the one you mentioned to me, so I hope it’s gonna be alright,” he mumbles, eyes fixed on your hands as they open the box, while you try to think back what you have told him about that caught his attention, but you just can’t recall what you wanted to get so badly you told Harry about it.

As you open the box you don’t process what it is immediately, the plastic wrapper making it hard to figure it out, but when you carefully pull out the object, you gasp in surprise.

“Harry!” you breathe out as you pull off the plastic of the old, vintage polaroid camera. It’s not one of these new types you can buy in stores easily, this is a classic, must have quite a history behind it.

Now you vaguely remember talking about longing for an oldschool, vintage camera, but it was months ago and you’ve forgotten about the whole thing since these devices cost a fortune because there aren’t many left from them. But now there’s one in your hands, because Harry not only listened to you, but he remembered and went out of his way to find you one in amazing condition.

“This must have cost a fortune!” you huff, your heart pounding in your chest, though you already know it doesn’t matter to him.

“This face is worth every penny,” he smiles at you softly before you throw yourself at him for another round of hugging. This man surely knows how to have you wrapped around his fingers.

The two of you sit on the floor as you figure out how to make the camera work, Harry bought everything needed, so you have a few packs of films as well. When it’s all done you bring it up to your face and aim it at Harry. It takes him a moment to realize that you’re about to snap your first photo and he tries to snatch the camera away, but it’s too late, the flash goes off and the device pushes out the undeveloped picture.

“You wasted your first snap on me?” he protests rubbing his eyes after the flash blinded him for a little.

“It’s not a waste,” you tell him as you patiently wait for the picture to finally appear.

Slowly, the colors start to show and in a couple of minutes Harry’s face appears, his hand reaching in the direction of the camera, looking out of focus, only his face appearing clearly. He looks so delicate, his eyes dazzling as a soft smile plays on his lips. This moment now will live forever not just in your mind, but on this photo.

 Harry goes out with his karaoke performance this year for sure and you’d be actually anxious about him winning if only you didn’t have the absolutely best performance right in your pocket.

His sweater this year features some really ugly looking penguins and a horroristic reindeer on the back, it’s really ugly and you can’t even imagine who thought it would be fine to make it and then sell it. His choice of music is also excellent, he has a great eye for songs you’d never imagine him perform and then shock everyone with it. This year, he chose Rude Boy by none other than Rihanna, and it’s fantastic, no one can make it through the song without crying. Harry makes sure to put on his best show, even dancing and twerking unapologetically, trying everything to win the battle and you are amazed by his effort. Above all the fun and jokes, he nails the song, that’s undeniable. It always baffles you how he can just slay any and all genres, even the ones that stand a million miles away from his style.

When the song is over, you all cheer for him, because he truly deserves it. He grins down at you in victory, but you just give him a challenging smirk.

“You can just give up now, if you want,” he teases you as you stand up from the couch and the two of you trade places.

“Oh, I think you should be the one to worry about losing,” you warn him grabbing your bag. Stepping to Gemma you whisper into her ear, instructing her to put on your song when you call out from the bathroom, since you are planning on do a grandiose entrance. When she hears what song you’ll be singing she gasps.

“Oh my fucking God, no way!” he looks at your with wide eyes.

“What? What is it?” Harry asks, dying to know what you just told his sister, but you shake your head at him.

“Patience,” you tell him before locking yourself up in the bathroom.

This year, you didn’t find the sweater, the sweater found you. On one of your thrift tours, you were digging up a huge pile of clothes when you came right across it and you knew what you needed to do.

Putting on the sweater you fix up your hair quickly before putting on your party glasses, the one that lights up if you switch it on. You take one last look at yourself in the mirror and smirk at your reflection knowing well you’ll have everyone dead when you walk out.

“Gemma! You can start it!” you call out with your hand on the doorknob, waiting to hear the music. Gemma quickly starts in and you haven’t even stepped out, you can hear a round of gasps.

Best Song Ever blasts through the speakers and you walk out trying your best to imitate a younger version of Harry, wearing the absolute ugliest Christmas sweater ever, that has the faces of One Direction all over it, filling up every inch of the fabric, and all of them have poorly photoshopped Santa hats on, it’s just literal trash and ridiculously perfect for the battle.

You grab the mic and start singing as everyone screams in the room. You jump, sing and even do the dance moves the boys do in the original music video, and when you look at Harry you see him staring at you in disbelief and total defeat. Everyone knows you won, nothing can top this performance ever and you could burst from the sweet feeling of victory.

By the end of the song everyone is up on their feet dancing and singing with you, a mini party forming in the middle of the living room and you all scream the last lines as the song comes to its end.

“I think we don’t even need to vote this time,” you say when the music stops, everyone screaming in agreement while Harry stares down at you, trying to hide his growing smirk.

“Where did you even find this?” he asks chuckling as he takes a better look at the sweater.

“At a thrift store, it called out my name, knew it’d be perfect.”

“It really is ugly, if I’m being honest,” he sighs, his eyes meeting yours again. “And the song… I accept defeat, you earned this victory, Y/N,” he tells you bowing and admitting your victory.

 Later that night everyone is so keen on watching Holiday, you agree to stay even though you feel your eyelids heavily weighing down, threatening to close with each passing moment. You let your head rest on Harry’s shoulder and he presses his cheek against the crown of your head.

It’s not a surprise you fall asleep halfway into the movie, but what you weren’t expecting is to wake up and find yourself not on the couch anymore, but in Harry’s bed. It’s dark, only the moon is shining through his windows and as you turn to the right you see that he is sleeping peacefully next to you on his back, one arm spread next to him, hand hanging from the edge, the other one resting on his stomach, rising and falling in a slow rhythm.

Squinting your eyes you look at the digital clock on his dresser, it reads 3:23 am so you’ve been asleep for quite a few hours now. You don’t even remember him bringing you up here, but you’re definitely not mad that he didn’t bring you home, just up to his room.

Rolling to your side you give yourself a moment to adorn his beauty without fearing he would catch your wandering eyes. Everything seems so perfect about him, the line of his nose, his cupid’s bow that delicately rolls into her lips. The crease between his eyebrows, his soft skin on his cheeks, down his neck that runs into his broad shoulders and inked, strong arms. You truly think there’s no man that could compare to him and you are lucky enough to live your life so close to him, be able to touch him, hear his voice whenever you miss him, see his smile and share a connection with him.

It’s so silly, but you think of him as your personal ray of sunshine in your life. Just the smallest things about him can brighten your worst day, he’ll always have a special place in your heart, no matter where life takes the two of you.

Watching him sleeping you allow yourself to break free from your doubts and fears and scooting closer you shyly curl up to his side, your head resting on his shoulder, but you can’t even make yourself comfortable before you feel him moving under you.

Sucking on your breath you think he’ll push you away, not wanting you so close, but instead, he pulls his arm from under you, curling around your frame as he pulls you tight to him, almost making you lie on top of him. Your whole body is pressed against him and you mingle a leg between his long ones under the soft sheets. You let out a long huff at the warm touch of his body against your skin, completely lost in him.

“You alright?” he mumbles in his sleep laced voice, his eyes remain closed.

“Yeah. Is this okay?” you nervously ask as you lay your hand flat on his stomach. He brings his hand that was hanging from the bed on his other side and covers yours, as he squeezes you tight to his side.

“’M all yours,” he breathes out, his words sending a shiver down your spine. You’re sure he didn’t mean it like that, but it warmed your heart to hear it from him and you let your mind play with the thought that there was more behind his words than a friendly manner.

Nuzzling your head into his chest you close your eyes and listening to his steady heartbeat you let yourself fall back asleep.

 Your morning is filled with coffee, pancakes, laughter and great company. Harry doesn’t let you leave without having breakfast with them, so you sit with the Styles family and laugh about the craziest stories from your teenage years.

“Remember when we tried to run away?” Harry grins at you, his red mug that had white polka dots all over it in his hands as he eyes you.

“Oh, how could I forget that?” you huff and Gemma turns to you with surprise in her eyes.

“Wait, I didn’t know about that!”

“Because we didn’t get too far,” Harry laughs. “We were, what, like fifteen?”

“Yeah, it was a few weeks after my fifteenth birthday,” you nod smiling.

“I had a fight with mum about God knows what, then stormed over to Y/N’s and talked her into running away. So we packed our backpacks and left.”

“Where did you go?” Michal asks with an amused grin as he listens to the story.

“We didn’t want to go into town, running into anyone we know, so we thought we would just go straight out to the meadow that’s there,” Harry says gesturing towards the window. The edge of the town is not so war, and a huge meadow lies there, a little stream running across it. “We walked for quite long, but then it started to get dark and we had nowhere to go, so we just ended up coming back home. No one even noticed we were gone, they thought we just went out to bike or something,” he finishes laughing.

“You knew about this?” Gemma asks Anne.

“Yeah, he came clear the next day, thinking he would piss me off with it, but I didn’t care, he came back for dinner, so it was alright,” Anne explains laughing.

It’s been so long since it happened, but I still remember it vividly, only that it was a more dramatic memory back then, now I can only laugh at it.

“We should go for a walk today,” Harry prompts to you.

“Wanna run away again?” you tease him.

“Always,” he chuckles.

You help cleaning up and agree with Harry to meet outside in an hour to take a walk to the meadow. Going home you take a shower and wash the dishes your mum left in the sink when she left for her morning shift. You put on a pair of boyfriend jeans, a warm sweater and your jacket with your trusty boots and you walk out the house right when Harry steps out as well. He grins in your way as the two of you meet in the middle of the street. He holds his arm out for you.

“M’ lady?” he smirks as you link your arm with his and the two of you head out for your little walk. It’s a gloomy day, might rain later as well, but it’s dry so far, so you’re just hoping to get home before it starts raining. Your runaway attempt wasn’t the only time the two of you came out here, it was kind of your place when you felt like having a break from everyone else. You biked out here, brought your favorite snacks and just ran around, enjoying the stillness.

However it also holds a bitter memory as well.

A little further down among the trees happened Harry’s first kiss and you witnessed it, feeling your heart break to a million pieces when you saw him lock lips with someone who wasn’t you.

Debby Hamilton was a friend of yours in sixth grade, you’d say, your only friend beside Harry and the three of you often hung out together around that time. Debby was a delight, you always desired to be more like her, boys liked her and she knew it damn well, but it didn’t make her cocky and egoistic. You always thought Harry had a crush on her, why would have he? They kind of looked cute together.

It was a Friday afternoon and Harry asked if you wanted to come out and listen to his new cassette he got for his old Walkman he refused to get rid of as technology was evolving. You figured he’d want Debby there as well so you invited her along, but didn’t tell Harry. He never made a move on Debby and you thought he was just looking for the right time.

That afternoon, you were supposed to meet them out there at five, but you didn’t leave until half past five and it takes about twenty minutes to get out there. Though you gave them the alone time technically, it still startled you when you found them under one of the oak trees, Debby leaning her back against the tree as Harry stood in front of her. She was smiling up at him sweetly, saying something to him and you were just about to call out for them and apologize for being late when Harry ducked his head and kissed Debby right in front of your eyes.

That was your first and probably worst heartbreak and you were only twelve. You felt betrayed, hopeless and naïve to think Harry would ever have a thing for you when there were girls like Debby. You left without letting them know you were there. When Harry asked you later why you didn’t come you told him you felt sick to your stomach, which wasn’t a total lie, you had quite the nausea after seeing Harry with Debby, but he didn’t have to know all the details.

He later told you about kissing Debby and you pretended like you didn’t know about it. However they never dated and not long after their kiss Debby drifted away from the two of you. Not that you minded, you had a bitter feeling every time you had to look at her after that, jealousy raging in your chest knowing that she got Harry’s first kiss.

He didn’t bring it up after and you weren’t keen on talking about it, but you still know which tree they were standing under and now as you near the area you see that it still stands tall near the tiny stream.

Peeking up at Harry you see that his eyes are focused on the same tree, but then he catches you looking.

“Memories?” you innocently ask, feeling your chest tightening. You don’t even know why you asked. It’s been over a decade since that kiss, you are both adults, but you still can’t help the sadness that washes over you at just the thought, why would you want to get him talk about it now?

“’S just… that’s the tree I kissed Debby when I was twelve,” he mumbles with a shrug. Biting into your bottom lip you look at the old oak tree nodding your head and before you could stop yourself, you speak up.

“I know.”

“What? How would you? I never told you,” Harry asks stopping, a puzzled look pulling on his face.

“Well I… It doesn’t matter,” you sigh, regretting ever opening your mouth.

“It does. Tell me!” he pleads standing in front of you.

“I know it, because… I was here.”

“You what?”

“I came, I was just very late. And when I arrived you two were standing there and I saw you kiss. I thought I shouldn’t interrupt whatever was happening so I went home and let you two be,” you explain, changing it up a little bit.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why is it important that I saw it? It doesn’t change anything, right?” you ask with a smile that you intended to look innocent, but deep down it’s filled with pain.

Harry opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but then remains silent and you are done talking about it, so you just quietly keep walking, Harry catching up with you a few moments later.

It’s awfully quiet after your revelation, it seems like Harry is deep in his thoughts and though you’re dying to know what’s occupying his bright thoughts, you’re kind of afraid you’d hear something you didn’t want to.

The two of you soon head back home and slowly, but you forget about the whole Debby thing. Harry starts talking again, but he looks a little keyed up still when you reach your street.

“Wanna come over later?” you ask standing on the pavement in front of your house, it’s just an innocent question. Harry nods his head.

“Sure. Is your mum working?” he asks glancing at the house, though he knows she is, the car is not on the driveway.

“Yeah. She’ll be home around six.”

He nods again and you want to ask if he is alright, but you decide not to. You share a quick hug before he heads over to his home and you do the same. The house waits for you in silence and when the door clicks behind you, it weighs down on you heavier than you were expecting. You hang your jacket, kick your boots off and throw yourself to the couch, covering your eyes with your arm as you huff out in frustration. You feel silly for getting upset about such a small thing even after so much time, but you just can’t help it.

You barely realize the sound of the front door opening, taking your arm off your eyes you see Harry walk in, eyebrows furrowed, a worried look on his handsome face.

“Harry—“ “I was waiting for you that day,” he simply says as you sit up with wide eyes, confused about what he is really talking about.

“What?”

“That day, we agreed to meet out there to listen to my new Stevie Wonder cassette, but you didn’t show up, Debby did even though I didn’t invite her out there.”

“Well, I did, thought you wanted her there too,” you explain, startled by the situation.

“I would have invited her if I wanted her to be there, but I wanted to be with you. Only you.”

“I-I’m sorry?” you breathe out, not seeing where he is going with it.

“Y/N, you don’t understand,” he huffs and he is right. You don’t. “I wanted to meet you, but you never came, or at least I thought. Then Debby showed up, I was frustrated that you weren’t there and she was being all nice, telling me how cute I looked when I was worried and it all just happened so fast and… I didn’t even want to kiss her.” He looks properly upset telling you the story and he takes a deep breath before his eyes meet yours with a hard stare. “I wanted to be with you,” he repeats.

“Harry, I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

He shakes his hair, not even letting you finish, because he knows what you wanted to say and that you still don’t understand the meaning behind his words.

“Y/N, I wanted to kiss you,” he then finally says and you suck on your breath as he continues. “Well, not right then and there, but I’ve been meaning to kiss you, I just didn’t know when. I thought that if we have a moment that afternoon I’d do it, but you never came and I was mad and disappointed. I hated myself for kissing Debby, because I didn’t really want to, it just… happened. I wanted to tell you, and I intended to do it when I told you we kissed, but you acted so happy, I figured you didn’t feel the same way about me as I did for you. So I didn’t tell you the rest, but…” He sighs in defeat, looking for words, but he ran out.

“Why are you telling this to me now?” you ask a little out of breath, your head feeling heavy at the new information you just heard.

“Why didn’t you tell me you saw us and why did you go home without a word?” he asks ignoring your question.

“I… don’t—“

“Don’t try to lie.”

Gulping hard you lick your dried lips as you stare back at him.

“Because I was… jealous.” Your voice comes out only as a whisper. Harry’s lips part as he takes two steps closer to you.

“You had feelings for me?” he asks and you just nod your head, not trusting yourself with your voice. “Do you still have feelings for me?”

“I do,” you whisper your answer and Harry lets out a sharp breath as he leaps across the room in your way. You jump to your feet, thinking that he’ll lash out on your for keeping it a secret and you open your mouth to explain yourself, but you never get to speak up because as Harry reaches you, one hand snaps to the back of your neck, the other one to your waist, yanking you against him as his lips crash to yours.

You gasp in surprise, but it doesn’t take long to kiss him back, your numb mind blindly reacting to his sudden action. Your hands snake up to the back of his neck as you pull him closer, returning his hungry kisses. His soft lips feel so smooth and warm against yours and when his tongue runs along your bottom lip you whimper letting your tongues meet in the middle.

He is intoxicating and it doesn’t help that your adrenaline level is up in the sky, you’ve fantasized about it way too many times, and now that it’s happening your body is burning in flames. He kisses you all over and over again, his body pressing against yours hard and when he even leans in making you lean back, you lose balance and the two of you fall to the couch, both of you gasping as you are forced to part your lips.

“Fuck,” you chuckle as Harry is basically lying on you, holding himself up on his arms, but you feel him everywhere.

“’M sorry, I got a little carried away, but I’ve been dying to do this since forever,” he admits chuckling as he lifts his head and looks down at you with those bright green eyes of his.

“Really?” you breathe out, only slowly processing what’s really just happened.

“Y/N, I’ve been in love with you since I first saw you hiding behind your mum.”

“Idiot, you were just a kid, you weren’t in love,” you chuckle, running up your hands to the back of his neck, your fingers playing with the soft curls. He smirks and nuzzles his nose against yours.

“Oh, I was, I just didn’t know it yet.” Leaning down he pecks your lips softly. “I’ve been meaning to tell you so many times, but I didn’t want it to ruin our friendship. Though I was growing impatient these last few years.”

“Yeah?” you chuckle.

“You can’t imagine,” he huffs shaking his head. I almost kissed you the other day in the kitchen, but Gemma completely ruined the moment.”

“I’m sorry I ran away, I was just—“ “No need to apologize. I guess it all played out well after all, right?” he smirks and you can’t help but chuckle.

“I guess,” you breathe out and the smile slowly fades from your lips. “And now what?” you ask quietly, staring up at him.

“Now… We’ll try to make things work. Test the waters. I’m very serious about this, Y/N,” he tells you. “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life so I’m not gonna let go of you now.”

“You have no idea how happy this is making me,” you choke out feeling the tears forming in your eyes.

“Oh Love, please don’t cry,” he begs and leaning down he kisses your tears away. “I’m right here, with you. Sorry it took me so long you get here, but I’m here now.”

“I know,” you huff blinking away the tears as you pull him down and press your lips to his. “I love you, Harry,” you whisper against his perfect lips. You feel him exhale sharply as he keeps kissing you before he lifts his head so your eyes meet again.

“I’ve always loved you.”

 Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought about it!

[smaidjor]

good morning yall today i bring you some last life predictions (that will almost definitely be proved totally wrong, but shh).

anyways so i want to talk about who i think has a good shot at winning

1. Lizzie

Okay so i haven't been watching her pov but @captainpuffyappreciation tells me that Ren is extremely loyal to her, which could definitely work in her favor, and it seems like the rest of her alliance is too. She's the queen after all. Lizzie's clever, still has 3(?) lives, and has the loyalty of multiple other people. The one pitfall is, of course, that Cleo may be out for her blood, but Cleo's grudge is mostly against bigB and now that Cleo is on green again, they have a lot less to worry about.

2. Pearl

This one's a pretty obvious choice- she has the highest life count on the server besides Tango. This could prove an obstacle, as she could get targeted, but even if she loses one of her lives she'll still have three, and I think she's a good candidate for other reasons. For one, Pearl is very smart, as we've seen previously. Secondly, I'd say she's in one of the least likely to fall apart alliances on the server. She and Scott have been loyal to each other from day one and coordinate on almost everything; there's not been a big secret that either of them have kept from each other, to my knowledge. She and Scott are also two of the few people on the server who don't owe Scar anything, which could be a very important advantage depending on how things shake out.

3. Scott Smajor

You know I have to put him up here- I love Scott's videos, and I genuinely think he stands a fair chance at getting pretty far in the series. He's got a strong alliance with Pearl, as I was talking about earlier, and Cleo's also a very strong addition to their alliance. His, Cleo, and Pearl's alliance is one of very few where lives have been voluntarily shared with the other members permanently, in strong contrast to say, the Southlands. Additionally, Scott is clever, a scarily good liar, and ruthless in a way we didn't really see from him much in 3rd life; killing Grian's dogs was a pretty cold-hearted move, even if they were a threat, and I think that willingness to do whatever is necessary to might serve him well. Usually, I'd be worried about ruthless characters losing their friendships/making too many enemies, but since his alliance is already so strong, it's less of a concern for him.

4. Scar

Scar is...interesting, to say the least. He has almost no alliances formed from genuine friendship, and now has only one life, but Scar's thrived under those conditions before. He almost won 3rd life through a combination of his own cleverness and Grian's life debt to him, and now many more people own him a life. Those contracts could definitely save him. Could they ensure he wins? Maybe, maybe not. When the people he's given lives to return to red, there's no guarantee that they'll honor their word, but I imagine at least a few of them will. The only way I can see Scar going out of the series right now is if he tries to mess with the wrong person (Scott and Pearl come to mind) and gets killed in retribution, though to be fair he could also stumble on a trap or die to mobs or some other means.

tl;dr: Lizzie and Scar both have people who owe them a life, and Scar is clever and good at swinging his weight around. Lizzie could win off the loyalty of the fairy fort, and Scar could win off the contracts he's had people sign. Pearl and Scott also both stand a fair chance; their alliance is very strong and they're both clever and capable of being ruthless.

[mgg-theprettiestboy]

my girls

matthew gray gubler x fem!reader

request: REQUEST FOR FLUFFY DAD MATTHEW HEHE!! you and matthew are in bed cuddled up in the morning and just talking, then your 4 year old(imma name her adria but you can change it!!) daughter comes running in the room and throws herself on the bed with you two. matthew grabs her and starts tickling her and is all around being the BEST dad. matthew and adria go and start breakfast while you shower. when you come and go into the kitchen they are singing and dancing, matthew is doing most of the cooking but lets adria put in the chocolate chips for the pancakes. Yall have a wonderful morning together and at the end maybe you tell matthew that you want another baby but a boy this time and he’s like okay! as soon as yall get adira down for her nap matthew carries you to your guys room and says “baby time now.”

FLUFF!

in which matthew is the dad of the year

warnings: insinuation of sex, getting a little handsy ;)

the best feeling in the world, and you would argue this until you died, was waking up in matthew’s arms. your head tucked under his, with both your arms wrapped around him, and his around you, while your legs were tangled together; it was perfect.

you heard him yawn softly, so you hummed and nuzzled your face into his neck, “morning.”

“hmm, morning,” he mumbled. his morning voice made you feel things.

“how much longer do you think we have until we’re interrupted?” you asked, and matthew smiled, “give it ten minutes. any longer than that and somethings up.”

you nodded in agreement, sighing happily as your husband traced patterns on your back lightly with his finger. his voice broke the peaceful silence, his voice dreamy, “you’re so pretty.”

you pulled your face out of his neck to look up at him, meeting his gaze as he smiled softly at you, “and don’t you dare try deny it. you’re the prettiest woman in the whole world, bubba.”

“hmm, and what about adria?” you asked, propping yourself up with your elbow. he moved his hand that was on your back to your side, humming, “she’s the prettiest girl.”

“good answer,” you laughed, and he grinned.

“i know,” he said, before pushing you back down on the bed, hovering over you as you giggled. your giggles quickly turned to soft moans as he began to kiss down your neck, sucking at those sensitive spots that drove you insane.

“tickle fight?” adria’s voice came from the door, and matthew slowly moved his face back from your neck, before smiling at your daughter, “sure is. and daddy won.”

you gasped, “that’s not fair, you’re stronger than me. i didn’t stand a chance!”

“save mommy!” adria yelled, before letting out a battle cry as she barrelled towards the bed. you didn’t know how a four year old could move so fast, but she was a miracle of movement, your daughter.

next thing you knew, she had jumped on top of matthew at the end of the bed and was trying to tickle him, but instead was screaming with delight as her father tickled her instead.

“mommy, help me!” she cried out, and you quickly scooped your daughter into your arms and sat back up at the top of the bed, laughing as you wrapped your arms around her, “i got you, baby.”

matthew pouted, “you stole my princess.”

adria stuck her tongue out, making matthew gasp dramatically, which made her giggle. you patted your daughter’s back, “okay, up you go addy, mommy’s gotta go for a shower.”

“momma,” she whined, wrapping her little arms around your neck, “stay.”

you gave matthew a pleading look, but he was one step ahead of you, standing up beside the bed, “ok, i’m going to start making the pancakes then.”

“pancakes?” adria’s head turned to her father, and you grinned. he was the best dad, and he always knew exactly what to do. you were one lucky woman. matthew nodded, “mhm. i’m going to put something extra special in them too.”

“blueberries?” she whispered, mesmerised by the mystery of the pancakes that her father was creating. he shook his head, “even better.”

“what is it daddy? can you tell me?” she asked, standing up on the bed to stand beside her dad, her eyes wide. he nodded, leaning down and whispering something in her ear as you watched with amusement. she gasped and covered her mouth, as matthew nodded. she moved her hands away to whisper, but you could hear her as she spoke, “can we surprise mommy?”

“sure thing, sweetheart. you wanna help me make breakfast? that means whenever mommy’s done in the shower, the surprise pancakes will be ready to eat,” he said, and she nodded, her little brown ponytails bouncing, “yes yes yes! smart daddy!”

he chuckled and lifted her into his arms, before looking to you, “we shall see you after you shower.”

“sower momma!” adria grinned, and you laughed and nodded in agreement. you stood, kissing adria’s forehead, before kissing matthew, and then heading to the bathroom.

after a quick shower, you opted to put on leggings and one of matthew’s sweaters, before heading downstairs. you could hear your husband and daughter from upstairs, grinning at hearing them singing.

you peaked your head into the kitchen, to see matthew doing a very dramatic rendition of ‘part of that world’ from the little mermaid, and adria clapping her hands as she sang along from the counter. he used a wooden spoon as a microphone, pretending to pass it over to adria as she sang off-key.

“mommy!” she squealed when she saw you, hopping off the counter. you gasped as you began to move, but matthew was closer, and quicker. he managed to catch her with one hand, the other hand holding the bowl of pancake batter. he let out a sigh of relief as adria ran over to you, clearly unbothered. you lifted her up, sighing softly as well as you hugged her, “you have to be careful addy, you almost hurt yourself there! what if daddy didn’t catch you? you’d have a bump on your head.”

she pouted, before turning to face matthew, “thank you for catching me dadda.”

matthew smiled softly, walking over to both of you before squishing both of adria’s cheeks with one of his hands, “that’s okay addy. next time, just ask for help, okay?”

“mkay,” she said, giggling as her cheeks were squished. she turned her face to look up at you, “watch a movie, mommy?”

“which movie?” you asked, and smiled as you watched her tap her chin in thought. she was such little drama queen. she definitely took after her father.

“lil mermaid!” she yelled, before squirming until you set her down again. you smiled as you watched her sprint into the living room, smile widening when you felt matthew hug you from behind, “why don’t you two go watch the movie while i finish up breakfast?”

“sounds good. i love you,” you hummed, leaning your head back to kiss him softly. he returned this kiss happily, murmuring against your lips, “i love you too.”

you smiled as he moved his hands to your hips, pecking his lips once more. you gasped as you felt his hand squeeze you ass, whacking his arm as he grinned.

you rolled your eyes, smiling as you walked into the living room to see your daughter standing in front of the tv, gripping the remote with both her hands and pressing buttons while she tried, and failed, to find the movie.

she perked up as she saw you, holding out the remote, “mommy! help pease?”

you smiled, nodding as you took the remote, before scooping her up in your arms as she giggled in delight. you sat down on the sofa, adria in your lap, as you turned on the movie for her. it kept her attention for five minutes, before she jumped off of your lap and ran to one of the many baskets of toys in your house, beginning to pick out toys to play with.

matthew walked in with two plates, and adria dropped her toys as she ran and jumped onto the sofa. he laughed, handing a plate to you and a plate to your daughter, “chocolate chip pancakes for my two favourite girls.”

you pretended to gasp, looking to adria, “chocolate chip?”

adria nodded excitedly, “yes! daddy’s idea, and i and i and– i got to put them in!”

“wow! good job addy,” you smiled, beginning to eat your pancakes. matthew went back into the kitchen to get his own plate, before joining you both on the sofa as you all ate. adria went back to her toys after she ate, running around the sofa as she sang along with the movie, as she swung her dolls around. matthew moved the plates to the side, before pulling you close as you both cuddled together, chatting as you half-watched the movie.

“we made a cute kid,” you mumbled, smiling softly as you watched adria play. he smiled as well, nodding in agreement, “we really did.”

“maybe we should make some more,” you said, glancing up at him. he looked to you, before his smile widened, “yeah?”

“yeah,” you nodded, and he leaned in and kissed your cheek softly, “i like the sound of that.”

you grinned, before moving to nuzzled your face into his neck as his hand began to rub your back. after a while, you felt him move before chuckling, and you moved your head to see what he was looking at. adria was sitting down and playing with her dolls, but her eyes were closed.

“are you tired baby?” matthew asked, and adria shook her head. you had to bite back a laugh, “you wanna come here and cuddle with mom and dad?”

she nodded, dropping and dolls and rubbing her eyes, before standing and waddling over to you guys. you both pulled her up to you and wrapped your arms around her, as she whined softly, cuddling into her parents. matthew moved to lift her so she was against his chest, pulling back slowly before walking upstairs with her. you turned off the tv, tidying up a little before following them up the stairs.

you reached adria’s room just in time to see matthew tuck her into bed, kissing her head softly and ticking her hair behind her ear, “daddy loves you so much, baby girl.”

“love you too,” she mumbled out, before closing her eyes completely and rolling over in the bed. he smiled, kissing her head once more before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him. you smiled up at him, “you’re such a good dad.”

he shrugged, smiling bashfully, “it’s not always so easy.”

“don’t i know it. she can make it hard sometimes,” you laughed. you took a step back as matthew took a step towards you, and did it again, until he had you pinned against a wall. you bit your lip, before gasping as matthew picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. you laughed, shaking your head as he took you back to your bedroom and making sure to close the door behind him.

“we’ve got a few hours now. i figured we could get a head start on the baby making,” matthew said as he threw you back on the bed, making you grin and nod, “i want a baby boy this time.”

“i’ll try my hardest,” he joked, making you laugh, before leaning down and kissing you deeply.

–

i’m soft

taglist: @slutforthegubes @pinkdiamond1016 @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @fallinallinmendes @beyonces-breastmilk @spencerlikesapplejuice @pastathighs @gcblers @hushfakebitches @ijustcomeheretoread

[lmaoskz]

Cat and Mouse

hey yall so i wrote a little something something 😶 this is dedicated to the queen @jenoluck because she’s amazing and i’m in love with her haha anyways this is my first time writing a fanfic or anything like this at all so 🥴

tw: yandere themes, implied kidnapping, swearing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had been in that house for way too long. The days ticked by, each one feeling more prolonged than the one before. You had explored every inch of the place, from the dining table set for two with chairs on each head of the table to the dusty library with the five books you had already read cover to cover at least ten times. Even with all of the locked doors, the place was pretty big; and you had to admit it wasn't too shabby. If you were living here with your family, or even on your own, it would have been nice. If you were living here out of choice, it would be tolerable. But you weren't. Instead, you were stuck with him.

Jeno was never one to miss a detail. He always switched up when he was out of the house, made sure to lock all the doors, and never allowed you to contact the outside world. Any loophole you thought you could make was never an actual loophole - just a trap. Over and over again, you tried and failed to find some way to fool your captor. But he was always ten steps ahead of you.

As you sat on the windowsill staring at the forest stretching for miles behind the house, you heard the front door open and close so fast you almost missed it. Jeno never announced his departure - he thought of it as an announcement that he was giving you the opportunity to leave. However, you didn't need a verbal confirmation - the sound of the door clicking was all you needed to hear to get up off the cushions and down the stairs to the front of the house. Immediately you rattled the brass doorknob, just in case he had neglected to lock it. Yet again, he hadn't. No surprise there. You peeked out the window by the door, trying to find a clue as to how you'll get on the other side when your eyes landed on the lock. Maybe you could twist it open enough to unlock it if you tried hard enough. You slowly moved towards the golden latch when the sound of shuffling behind you made you freeze. No, surely not. You heard the door open and close. It couldn't be him. Despite your instant suspicion, you were not at all prepared for the cough made directly behind you. Whipping around, your hand made contact with skin, and before you even opened your eyes to see Jeno standing there with his hand on his cheek, you knew you had fucked up.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing," Jeno spat, hostility laced in his words.

"Nothing. I wasn't doing anything." you tried stalling as long as you could, your hand feeling around the door for the lock behind your back. Jeno rolled his eyes and stepped closer, bringing his hand down from his cheek.

"I find that very hard to believe, considering your surprise to see me." you knew you would crack exceptionally quickly, and Jeno did too. he continued to stare you down, and right when you were about to break, you felt the cold metal of the lock in your hand. "Wh-"before he could finish, the lock clicked, and you threw the door open, not wasting a beat as you leapt down the porch stairs and ran straight into the forest, Jeno's angry shouts close behind.

You managed to get about thirty feet away from the house before Jeno caught up to you. You felt him grab the hood of your sweatshirt and pull you back into him as hard as he could. You almost choked as you fell against his chest, your legs slipping in the dirt as his arms wrap around you. "Did you really think that would work baby," Jeno growled into your ear. the truth is, you didn't. But seeing as you had never made an escape attempt until today, you figured it was worth a shot and, above all, a statement to your captor that you had had enough. As you were dragged back through the forest and the house loomed closer, you started fighting harder. You couldn't go back in there, especially now that Jeno was extra angry with you - you couldn't even imagine what he'll do to you if he succeeds in bringing you back. "No- let me go, you son of a bitch, I hate you," you shrieked, pushing against his arms as he holds you tighter. "Shut the fuck up, and maybe I'll go easy on you," Jeno spat as he hauled you up the stairs and shoved you to the floor inside the house. You saw your chance of escape fading as he closed the door, so without further thought, you scrambled to your feet and raced up the stairs while his back was turned. Mind racing, you turned a corner and slid inside a closet at the entrance of a spare bedroom, clamping your hand over your mouth to control your breathing. Maybe when he's on the other end of the house, you could try the door again. all you knew was if he found you, it was all over.

"Darling, you don't have to hide. Come out, and we can talk." you could hear his sickening sweet voice traveling down each hallway of the upstairs, his footsteps tapping against the hardwood floor. Every time you thought he was furthest away from you and you considered leaving your hiding place, his voice was suddenly inches away - taunting you. "if you come out now, I won't be so hard on you." you could tell he was getting angry now. How long had it been since you started hiding? 5 minutes? 30 minutes? You couldn't tell.

"You know I've been everywhere else in the house. I know where you are, so why don't you come out and quit playing around. I want to talk to you." now you knew he was really close. You could practically hear his breathing on the other side of the closet door. But you didn't budge. Surely he was bluffing. You weren't going to give up that easily. "Fine, baby. I guess we'll do it the hard way." suddenly the closet door swung open, flooding the small space with light and revealing a very angry Jeno. You screamed as he yanked you out of the closet by your arm, spinning you around and slamming you against the wall. "Did you have fun playing hide and seek? Huh? Thought you could outsmart me?" Jeno hissed. you didn't say anything, just frantically stared into his dark eyes. "Playtime's over.”

[matthewtkachuk]

how to mend a broken heart: interlude - rafe cameron

Breaking Rafe Cameron’s bones didn’t work, but your plan to break his heart did. You falling for him too and having your heart shatter as collateral was an unexpected side effect. Ever the schemer, JJ’s come up with a new five step plan to mend what was broken.

co-authored with my love, freya @rekrappeter​

pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader, unrequited!JJ x reader

warnings: angst, starting a relationship under false pretences, drinking and drug use

word count: 800

a/n: here it is the beginning of part two! freya and i are so excited to share the second half of the story with yall, it’s going to be an even crazier ride. please please please leave us feedback, freya and i read every comment and cry, love you guys so much!! if you want to get a feel for how the second half of the series will go, check out the playlist on the series masterlist 

JJ never thought he’d ever feel this awful in his life. He had hurt, and probably lost, the number one person in his life. You had been his constant, his day one. The two of you had literally known each other since you were in diapers, your moms had been best friends until his own had left him and his father, at least. You had been the one to help him through his mom leaving, you were the one who patched him up after fights with his father, and you were the one who always offered him a place to stay in your house despite knowing your father didn’t much care for him. You had loved him your entire lives, and he had not only taken that for granted but used that fact against you when you were at your lowest. In his desperation to keep you in his life, his deluded brain thought confessing his long-buried feelings and making a move was the right way to go. In reality, it had only pushed you further away. His stomach was tied up in knots at the thought of having been the one to cause you to cry.

The thing about JJ though, is that not only is he abominably stubborn, he is also eternally optimistic and his brain runs a mile per minute. Past the point of wallowing, now, JJ is plotting.

An idea came to light in his mind, a grin settled across his face and a theoretical light bulb appearing over his head, making Pope look worried, “We’re going to need a bigger chalkboard.” 

“W-What?” Pope stuttered, fear washing over him at the crazy look on the blonde’s face. That very same look has gotten Pope into trouble on more than one occasion, it screams that JJ has come up with some hair-brained scheme and he was about to pull Pope right into it alongside him.

“The sequel: How to mend a broken heart,” JJ smirked, throwing his arms wide open to punctuate his point. Pope’s eyes bugged right out of his head, of all the strange things JJ has come up with in the many years of their friendship, this might be the idea to end all ideas.

“Do you not think you’ve done enough, JJ?” Pope stared wide eyed at his friend, thinking of his other friend that is currently heartbroken due to the consequences of JJ’s last brilliant plan. 

JJ shrugged his shoulders, his fingers fleeting through his blonde hair, “But I can fix it.”

“Fix what? Y/n’s heart or Rafe’s heart because the only way you’re going to fix y/n’s is if you convince Rafe to forgive her for your stupid idea.” Pope says, and JJ pointedly looks away, jaw tense. He still hates Rafe Cameron, maybe even hates him more knowing that you’ve fallen for him. Thinking about Rafe Cameron kissing you, hands touching your body makes him sick. But, despite his shitty attitude and being the literal catalyst of your heartbreak, he loves you and he does want you to be happy. 

“I don’t have to convince Rafe of anything, all we have to do is help y/n convince him.” JJ retorted, “it’s a solid plan!”

“Really?” Pope gave him a look that said he didn’t believe him one bit, “And what about your feelings for her?”

“That door has closed,” JJ replied quickly, attempting to not convey any of the various emotions brewing in his mind, “I just want her to be happy” 

Pope looks at his best friend, wondering how they all got here. If everyone had just listened to him, he thinks, things wouldn’t be this way. They’d all be together, laughing around a fire, drinking shitty beer without a care in the world. But that line of thinking was selfish, he also thought. He knew how badly you wanted to love and be loved in return, and despite how it ended, the stupid bet had brought Rafe into your life. Pope sighed deeply, recognizing that Rafe was the one who made you happy and he would let himself be roped into JJ’s stupid plan if it meant he could help bring you that happiness.

“Not that I’m saying yes,” Pope started, as the grin spread across JJ’s face again, knowing he had won, “but, this time you’re going to butt out of y/n’s love life, alright? And no jumping down her throat if this thing does pan out. And, you have to prepare for it to work out, Rafe might be around more than we’d like.”

“It’ll be worth it, for y/n,” JJ’s grin falters a little, but only Pope who had known him for a decade would have noticed, “let’s mend some broken hearts.”

@solllaris​ @drewswannabegirl​​ @starrystarkey93​​ @httpstarkey​​ @sweetlysilent​​ @drewstarkey​​ @dontjinx-it​​ @ultranikilove @spencereidbasis​​ @meaganjm​​ @starlightstarkey​​ @thortheestallion​​ @jiaraendgame​​ @idocarealot​​ @tempestuousjj​​ @pink-meringues​��� @dpaccione​​ @arianabrashierstuff​​ @softstarkey​​ @loveylangdon​​ @xenagzb​​ @teenwaywardasgardian​​ @prejudic3​​ @nxsmss​​ @canibeoneofthepogues​​ @outerbanksbro​​ @obx-direction-sos​​ @nqbmf​​ @digniteas​​ @annedub​​ @colorful-queen-of-the-roses​​ @yesp0ny​​ @loveniallandharryonedirection​​ @fantasticpsychicfanfish​​ @girls-breaking-hearts​​ @beautyandthebleh​​ @casper17​​ @mozz-are-lla​​ @parkershoco​​ @unfortunatekiwitrash​ @loverofmineluke​ @slutforjjmaybank​ @skiesofthesketchy​ @httpstarkey​ @sugarcoatedcalum​ @amorisxx​ @trinnwazheree​ @stargazingstarkey​ @obx-saltlife​ @juliarose21​ @hyperactive2411​ @mcarignan​ @feyrecauldron-blessed​ @sportygal55​ @popcrone818​ @wtfkie​ @raekenliar​ @letsgotothehop​ @walkingtothesun​ @outerbanksbro​ @summerkaulitz​ @glux64​ @itslilithsstuff​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @mycowatemyhw​ @poguepunk​ @routledgebaby​ @teenwolfobx​ @pancakefancake​ @princessnnylzays​ @onlygetaway​ @hoodpankow​ @shawnswife2004​ @glittercoveredsouls​

rodeo rafe babies who said they were interested:

@royalmerchant​​ @outerbankslut​ @honeyycheek​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​ @ilovejjmaybank​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless​ @girlsru1eboysdroo1​ @https-luna​ @butgilinsky​ @rae131415​

diverdcwn everything taglist:

@velyssaraptor​ @danicarosaline​ @copper-boom​ @x-lulu​ @prejudic3​ @downbytheouterbanks​ @ilovejjmaybank​ @bricksatanakinswindow​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​ @sunwardsss @rudyypankow​ @im-a-stranger-thing​ @alexa-playafricabytoto​ @hoodpankow​ @sortagaysortahigh​ @socialwriter​ @euphoricheyward​ @anxietyandtacos​ @diverrdown​ @stargazingstarkey​ @rafej-cambanks​ @stfukie​​

[blxetsi]

modern sasha braus dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!sasha braus x gn!reader

had to write something for my queen 😌✨

- she shares her food with you. I Dont Care She Does

- also since this is a modern au i dont think she would have such an obsession with food as she does in the canonverse (if we can even call it an obsession) i still think she would have a big appetite (and she'd be proud of it tf 😏🙏) but i just dont see her always being hungry as the fandom makes her out to be

- really likes to hold hands with you

- i think itd be really cute if she was studying to become a baker ?? maybe taking a culinary course at the university you two attend ?? maybe you somehow met there or through a friend

- i think she'd still be insecure about her accent (ig if this is au is set in america she'd be from the south 😐🤚) and would speak kind of like a robot to people she didn't know that well

- connie and jean ALWAYS bring out her accent tho,, like with them she can really be herself

- i think when you were starting to get to know her she would be speaking very formally, and youd take it like shes being kinda stand offish or like,, just doesnt wanna talk so youre thinking "okay maybe she doesnt wanna be friends 😁👍" and would back off

- now sasha's upset because you are so cool and unique and she just wants to know so much about you but youve been very distant lately ?? like did she do something wrong ??

- she tells connie, jean, marco, and niccolo one night and connie and jean are on the side of "find y/n and demand to know why their behavior has changed" while marco and niccolo are on the side of "respectfully dm y/n and ask why they havent been wanting to see sasha recently"

- sasha goes with the latter of the two and dms you after passing you in the dining hall, you two literally keep glancing at each other, texting while you sit with your respective friend groups

- after everything gets cleared up sasha is immediately inviting you to hang out with her crew, and even getting some of her other friends like eren, mikasa, and ymir and historia to come join too

- if she has all the people shes comfortable with there, itll be less scary talking with her accent !

- You Love It. You Think Its Adorable.

- you guys would definitely have a friends to lovers type relationship

- like friendly hugs turn into slightly longer hugs, and now sasha will constantly ask to sit next to you during movie nights

- loves to rest her head on your lap while she spreads across the couch

- i think you two would have your first kiss in niccolos apartment

- you two were sitting in his kitchen, with sasha munching on the leftover food he made that night for your get together

- his mom had called him so he decided to leave to go to his bedroom to answer it

- and slowly you guys just kind of,,,, leaned in 🙈✨

- it was slow and really romantic, kinda rough with the crumbs that were around sasha's lips but you didn't mind

- niccolo barged in and ruined the moment 😐🤚 good going pal 😁👍

- you two were so shocked that you two tried to leave

- ended up just walking down the road in silence like wtf i thought yall were trying to get away from each other 😭😭😭😭

- sasha ended up staying the night 🤩‼️

- NOT in a sexual way

- but in like a,,,, rue and jules kinda way where jules comes in through the window (but only sasha didnt come in through the window she came in the front door with you) and you two held each other and gave each other smooches for the rest of the night

- sasha woke up late and missed her morning classes 😐🤚 didnt even care and went back to sleep with you

- i think for the most part you get along well with her friend group

- youre definitely closer to connie, jean, niccolo, marco, and historia

- ymir teases you guys a lot and you cant tell if what she says is just jokes (it always is) or if shes completely serious

- eren, mikasa, armin, annie, along with reiner and bertholdt are more of aquantances to you, just because you dont see them as often as you do the others

- she has such a weird relationship with her english professor

- will literally complain how much work he gives his class and then the next day will gush about how great he his bc he gave her a granola bar for her effort in her assignment

- girl pick a script and stick to it 😐🤚

- has a collection of stuffies on her bed. i dont make the rules.

- anytime theres a carnival in town she drags EVERYONE there.

- you all agree to split up into groups so you can all check out what you want, but you always agree to meet up and eat funnel cake together 🥺

- sasha tries to get you to win her new stuffies

- if you cant do it, or just want some for yourself, shes calling connie and niccolo up PLEADING with them to come find you guys,

- then she claims theres been an ACCIDENT and that you two need help

- niccolo is zooming bc he cares abt his besties 😌✨

- connie texts jean and marco to come find you guys too 😭😭😭

- who gets a kick and a lecture for lying courtesy of niccolo ? sasha. but who also gets a bunch of stuffies won for her courtesy of niccolo ? sasha.

- for your anniversary i think she'd want to do something really fun with you

- she'd set up a pillow fort and have a bunch ot string lights and stuff, have all of her favourite stuffies (which are the ones she thinks of you when she sees) in there too.

- she has chips, she baked little pastries and cookies, and she ordered your favourite takeout

- you guys just watch whatever you want on netflix or whatever and its such a nice night

- it becomes a tradition for you guys, but you two always take turns with setup

- one year sasha did all of the planning, baking and whatnot ? okay now its your turn 😁👍

- you guys even started doing themes now 🤩

- if you guys play board games with your friends youre on sasha's side whether you want to be or not.

- shes also the kind of person that says "i can win fair and square !" but then when bertholdt starts kicking her ass in monopoly her script changes real quick 🙄

- now its "y/n,,, give me some of ur money" and "y/n, buy this property for me" like girl,,,, what happened to playing fair 😍⁉️

- will try and do all of those s/o pranks you see on tiktok

- its hard to get a genuine reaction out of you bc you can TELL SHES RECORDING but she tries anyways

- we love a perservering queen 😌✨

- will call you at random times of the day asking if you guys can see each other

- "y/n ??? are you there ??" "sasha its 2am wtf do you want 😐" "do you wanna ride your bike with me down to the park 🥺"

- also is very observant, knows when youre overworking yourself

- will try and pull you away from what youre working on like "lets go get you something to drink, or maybe we can watch an episode of that show you like before you continue working !"

- if youre persistent that you just HAVE to finish it tonight and cant stop and take a break she'll respect that, until you stay at your laptop for over an hour 😐

- just softly pulls you away like "no lovebug, lets get some sleep okay ?"

- is also very protective of you

- overheard someone making fun of you ?? talking shit ??? her besties better hold her back before she gets suspended 😤‼️

- and since connie and jean absolutely ADORE you, you better believe theyre helping their girl sasha out

- those three are the LEADERS of the "protect y/n club"

- it just becomes niccolo and marco trying to dissolve the situation before it gets physical, and then reiner and armin joining when they walk directly into the chaos

- armin tells you what happened and as much as youre thankful that sasha cares about you so much that she'd defend you like that, you lecture her, jean and connie on not making scenes like that again

- sasha's love language is kind of like,, a mixture of quality time and physical touch

- she just really loves spending time with you, but also very much enjoys being in your arms

- she doesnt shy away from it, and is usually the one to initiate those things

- will hold your hand PROUDLY down hallways or on streets

- always hypes you up too, shes very much so your personal hypeman

- "oh lovebug you look SO GOOD rn oh my god" "sasha pls im in my pyjamas" "and you look like a model baby !"

- sasha is very stubborn however, and if you guys ever fight she is NEVER the one to apologize first, or seek you out to talk about it

- even if shes in the wrong she cant bring herself to admit it, she dug herself into such a deep hole with the stance she took that she doesnt want to take the walk of shame in admitting that she wasnt right

- this can cause a lot of problems in your relationship, but after you explain how much it affects you, shes trying to change

- will always work on her stubborn-ness and pride

- and it actually makes her feel a lot better being able to admit defeat, or being wrong

- she really likes being communicative and honest, especially with you

- i think overall your relationship with sasha is very very fun, filled with good memories, good food, good friends, and most importantly, love.

no bc i really do love her 😐🤚 lemme marry miss braus rq 😏✨

hope u guys enjoyed !! remember requests are open so if you have anything youd like me to write DONT BE SHY ❤️‼️

[alsojanetdidntdie]

I have decided to a re-watch of SG1 but only of the Janet episodes(Excluding Heroes pt2 cause that never happened).

First Episode where we get to meet Janet: The Broca Divide

"I pride myself on my deductive reasons skills." Jack looks at Sam to make sure she knows how funny he is

Dude eying up Tealc

Oh, the marines. Cocky bastards

Lol "Doesn't look like my prescription". I forgot how snappy these early episodes were

Wow, I forgot about the almost rape scene

Why do the Untouched wear those white flowing things?

Soooo, the "evil gods" brought this curse Are they the goa'uld or something else? Maybe Nirrti doing an experiment. I would like more of this backstory please and thank you

Sweet sweet Daniel. Science vs Military from the getgo

Daniel not realizing he's won

Lt Johnson freaking out and not being anywhere near a match for Teal'c

"Maybe he was drunk"? What the heck Sam? How could he eave gotten drunk in half and hour on the base?

The infamous kiss scene.

JANET! You finally showed up!

Never seen anything like this, poor Janet. That's what every other episode is like for her

Boom, there goes Jack

Look at that, Janet knows what it is already. There's a reason they hired her

Mr. Teal'c. I love that from the beginning Janet's had a respect for Teal'c. Like, people treat him like crap and she's not even awkward with him. Just goes and gives her respect and will change her address when she learns that's not how he wants to be addressed. We stan an accepting queen.

"You're the doctor, doctor"

It's quarantine time on base! Hope ya'll have your bread recipes ready

omg. Janet had to teach Teal'c and Daniel on how to draw blood. I need that scene

Off they go in the wide blue yonder, off to get some blood

Whoops. Daniel's missing. Boy cannot just stay where he's supposed to

oh no, General Hammond. You got it as well.

oh, this scene with Janet and Jack is so touching

Teryl and RDA just hit it out of the park

she sees him, Jack's still there.

OHHHHHHHH, when he asks her to experiment on him

and then reaches out and touches her face

so tender

in the face of all that stuff going on in his brain

and Janet being the tender doctor we know her to be

just SO GOOD

Tea'lc just needs some blood yall. Help him out

Poor Daniel just gets beat up every episode

The excitement Janet has when she has a solution

Just excitedly telling Jack all about histamine's and how she thinks she's got the solution. SO PURE. GOSH I love her.

Janet trying to explain histamine to Teal'c and Jack is great

Jack being gung ho to be the test subject. that instant connection that he has with Janet is so good

just DAMN

and they way he fights it all the way

"Lucy I'm home." "I am not Lucy" classic. I used to quote this with my brother all the time.

Everyone is back to normal! Hammond is back baby

love how they make Daniel the Kirk,

Yay, everyone is back to normal on the planet

Sweet little tank top number! That's a classic. Many a fic has been launched by that.

Final thoughts: Not as much Janet in it as I thought but she has some great moments, especially with Jack. I love how from the beginning, Janet was cool headed and so so kind. She just exuded the tenderness we all know and love in our fav SGC doctor and she just has it from her first moments on screen. Teryl just is amazing. I bow down to her.

[writeblrfantasy]

excerpt from a council of golden swords: tattooed cairic king

planned this scene weeks ago, forgot about it, enjoyed writing it immensely. poor kayani, they're so in love

anyway i hope you love this as much as i loved writing it, acogs has been kicking my ass this week and this was a nice battle won

~

Asma crosses her arms. “Take off your shirt.”

Kayani chokes on their own saliva. “What?”

“I’m going to paint you. Take off your shirt.”

Kayani stares at her, open mouthed, a thousand indignities resting on their lips. Asma taps her foot, paintbrush held between two fingers, frowning impatiently. No excuse, no argument, no plea will ever sway her. She is unmovable.

Kayani stares at the floor and loosens the laces of their shirt before whipping it off. They ball it up and stand there holding it until she snatches it from them and tosses it on the sofa. “Sit on the stool,” she says, “and for Cai’s sake, stop looking so stiff. Actually look like you want to be here. You don’t even have to smile. Just look a little less queasy.”

Queasy for a different reason, Kayani thinks, but obediently sits on the wooden stool in the center of the red, blue, and gold room. The yearly trip west, spent in close quarters with almost all of the Cairic army, has driven the modesty out of them, but everything is different with Asma.

She sits on the ottoman and drags her easel closer to her, a tray of paint pools sitting beside her on the sofa. The easel legs scraping against the floor makes Kayani startle. “Relax,” she orders in a tone that’s anything but relaxing.

Kayani folds their hands and tries not to slouch. The hairs that itch when they fall into their eyes will be the least of their worries over the next few hours. Why else would Asma paint them shirtless if not just to torment them?

Once Asma has everything apparently set up to her standard, she looks up and rakes her eyes over Kayani’s torso. Her breath hitches. “You have so many tattoos. I forgot you would.” Her voice disturbs the quiet of the room, breaking a sacred peace, or however peaceful the two of them alone can get.

“Isn’t that why you wanted to paint me shirtless?” Kayani asks. “Why else would you?”

She hides her face behind the canvas and doesn’t bother with an answer. Kayani prepares for a long set of hours filled with waiting, an aching back, and keeping their walls firmly up.

After ten minutes of silence, Asma working quietly, she asks, “What does that one on your chest mean?”

Kayani resists the urge to look down and earn themself their first don’t move, idiot. They could trace the lines of the * in the darkness, in their sleep. “The death of my mother.”

She gasps. “You got tattooed when you were just a child?”

They shrug. “I’ve known some babies who got tattooed after birth because of a difficult or scary pregnancy, complications that should’ve killed them. Parents, too. We use our tattoos to cope with many things, many emotions, but prominently grief. For many people, the experience itself of sitting there for ten hours while a needle pokes into your skin—it helps.”

“By enduring pain?” Asma asks.

Kayani shrugs. “Some people find solace in pain. It’s something real they can grip onto.”

“That’s the funny thing,” Asma says, peering out from over the canvas. “It isn’t.”

Kayani’s eyes drift to the tattoo on her forearm, she follows their gaze and pulls her sleeve down. Kayani remembers it all too painfully well—her poorly stifled tears and cries while getting it, their own desire to comfort her squashed by the hatred in her eyes. It’s their fault she has it.

“What about that one?” she asks, gesturing to the wings covering their shoulders.

“Are you asking because you’re genuinely curious,” Kayani asks, “or just trying to fill the air?” They want to poke further into her reasoning, but they don’t want her to change her mind and throw them out. Alone time with Asma is bliss as much as it’s torture, and they’ll take every last bit of it.

“I got the wings one year after becoming king,” Kayani says. “To celebrate not being assassinated.”

She snorts. “Get better guards.”

“I am my own best guard besides Ajar and Samad. I didn’t want to trust anyone else. The palace guards on rotation can only do so much against an assassin hired by someone who was angry I became king and not my sister.”

Asma rolls her eyes, the soft strokes of her brush soothing to listen to against the faint chatter of birds. “And the one on your back?”

“You’re not painting that one. You can’t even see it right now.”

“Answer the question, dimwit.”

Kayani grins. As much as they love to nag Nikolai about being attracted to the ones who seemingly want nothing to do with you, they’re no less guilty. “I got the first part done after I survived the Trials.” After healing up upon their return, they went straight to the royal tattoo artist. They knew exactly what they wanted: Ajar and Samad standing side by side, blue eyes pointed to the moon.

The two of them are right outside—if Kayani’s quiet, they can hear them scratching at the door—but an ache for them runs through their chest regardless. Sometimes they’re convinced the three of them share a soul.

“I would’ve gotten the outlining done before I left for the Trials for good luck and gotten it filled in after I came back, but I didn’t want to deal with unnecessary pain. I got the second part added on after I came back from my first trip west with the army. That time, I did do it in two halves for good luck, like many of my soldiers.”

Going to get those outlines and later the full lines done with their soldiers had been one of the most rewarding experiences of their life. Sitting beside ten others in a salon, all laughing or grimacing or telling stories to work through the pain reminded them that they could still mix with normal people. Winning the Trials didn’t make them special in the soldiers’ eyes, and Kayani liked it that way.

Their second back tattoo consisted of a light brown stag leaping across the center of their back, over the dogs. “Each trip after was another add on.” They’ve since added a grassy field for the stag and the dogs to rest in, stars for the moon, flowers and sparkles in a mix of reds and browns.

“Your entire body will be covered by the time you die,” Asma says.

“That’s the goal.”

As the hours go by, Asma asks, and this? What about this? That one? What are the ones I can’t see? Kayani answers her every question, shares every story, every memory. They don’t tell her about the one on the back of their ankle, small enough to miss. A golden paintbrush.

Finally, when the sun is halfway to setting and Kayani’s lower half has gone numb, Asma announces she’s done. Kayani wobbles to their feet toward the canvas, but she picks it up before they can see it. They sigh quietly but don’t question it—until she turns around.

She’s painted them in a background more heavily red than the wallpaper behind them. It brings out the red in Kayani’s tattoos, which are obviously the star of her painting. The edges of Kayani’s muscles are blurred, but the lines of the tattoos are as clear and sharp as they are on their skin. Their eyes are halfway open, tired, and Asma captured their faint smile at something she said, maybe some memory that took them away.

The sun from the glass wall behind them drips golden light onto light brown skin, a glowing backdrop for the tattoos. Kayani sat with their left forearm up, right hand holding that wrist, but Asma painted the opposite to hide the tattoo there.

Kayani has never had the eye for beautiful artwork, nor the time to study why people devote their lives to it, but this makes them reconsider. Not because it’s them, of course, they’re not that vain. Because it’s Asma.

“I will call it ‘Tattooed Cairic King’,” Asma says. Kayani can’t take their eyes off her nonchalant expression, the casual way her fingers grip the canvas. She completed this in a day and she acts like she’s holding a piece of cheap furniture. Doesn’t she know all of her artwork will be studied meticulously after her death merely because she’s a queen?

Not just because she’s a queen, Kayani thinks. Because she’s an incredible artist. They wish they had the courage to say so, but knowing Asma, she’d make some crack about their narcissism.

“Where are you going to hang that one?” they ask. “Which guest room or dining hall or office will get the pleasure of seeing my tattoos?

She fixes them with a look. “My suite wall.”

The floor seems to swim under them.

“I thought you hated me,” they manage. “As you pointed out, last time we were together you told me to never come into your sight again.” They gesture to the canvas. “I think that violates your rule.”

For once, Asma’s silence seems to be because of her loss of words, not dramatic pause or the bother of answering a question. “It’s some of my finest work,” she settles on. “I’d like to admire it often. Let people admire it when I’m dead.” She closes her eyes and runs her finger along the top of the canvas. “Also, I’d like to do your back sometime."

“What?” Kayani sputters.

“Oh, come on. If you can survive a needle pricking your skin for ten hours, you can survive sitting still for another six.”

That’s not the problem, Kayani thinks, but only nods. Cai have mercy.

~

kayani being shook by asma's ability to Art is me @ all the talented artists here yall rock

also if you noticed the tsoa inspiration for "and this?" then props to u

acogs taglist (lmk to be added/removed) @magic-is-something-we-create @inkflight @spencer-nyx @writing-is-a-martial-art @ashen-crest @wisteria-eventide @nikkywrites @denkis-phone-charger @myhusbandsasemni @lynolord @ettawritesnstudies @golden-apple-s-blog @chazzawrites @pen-of-roses

[slytherinbarnes]

Sub Rosa [64]

vi. exit wounds 

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 6.9k

Warnings: angst (we sad, my friends), injuries, blood.

Summary: heartbroken, you try to navigate your life and an impending war, all while trying to keep it together.

a/n: i feel like yall have been wanting this update since i broke your heart on friday, so here we are!!! the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist

As soon as Octavia announces the retreat, you offer to take Indra and a few of the other badly injured people back to Polis in the rover to see Jackson. Octavia gives you her blessing, especially when she sees you warily eyeing Echo and Bellamy. You know you have her sympathy, your dislike for Echo just as strong as Octavia’s. Clarke and Madi offer to ride with you, to keep you company, but you deny them, wanting to spend the time alone. 

After the last few people are loaded into the back of the rover, you head towards the driver’s side door, ready to drive off. As you reach for the handle, you hear someone call your name, and the voice makes your stomach sink, aware of exactly who is calling out to you. You hesitate, trying to decide if you want to turn and face Bellamy right now, but the very thought of doing so brings tears to your eyes and you decide against it. Instead you pull yourself into the rover and drive off, ignoring him as you drive the vehicle past him. Only once he’s behind you do you spare a glance in the rearview mirror, watching as he looks at the retreating rover with heartbreak.

You scoff, annoyed that he’s upset when it’s you that should be hurt by him and his actions. It’s bad enough that he decided to date Echo knowing all the terrible things that she’s done, but the fact that he didn’t even tell you feels much worse. You’ve been on the ground with him for days, and while it’s definitely been stressful and chaotic, you wish that he had tried harder to tell you, warn you. Instead, you had to find out when you saw them kiss. A reunion kiss that was meant for you, not her.

You feel tears rise to your eyes, squeezing your throat, making it hard to breath, and you pull over for a second, unable to see past the emotion. You sit and cry, hard, ignoring the fact that there are at least 10 people in the back of the rover, waiting for you to get them back to Polis. You nearly jump out of your skin when you feel a hand come down on your shoulder, and when you turn to look, you see Indra looking at you, expression regretful, her voice sounding weak as she says, “I know what he means to you, Wanlida, but a warrior does not mourn those she has lost until the war is won.”

You nod your head and wipe your fallen tears away, knowing that she’s right. Your family and your home are in trouble, along with the people in the rover with you. Right now, it’s more important that you get them to Polis. And so, you start the rover back up and continue to Polis, keeping yourself busy to keep your mind off of everything. As soon as you arrive, you help unload the injured and take them into the bunker, before assisting Jackson as he helps doctor those in need. The rest of the group makes it back in a few hours, the return hike much shorter than the initial journey, and one of the Wonkru members from the desert lets you know that Octavia and Clarke are looking for you in the main office. You thank them for passing along the message before you head that way, curious on what this is about.

As soon as you get there, you enter and see Clarke checking on Octavia's worm wound, making sure it’s healing well. Octavia glances at you as you come to stand beside Madi, who is watching intently, and the Wonkru leader doesn’t hesitate in giving you a serious look. “My brother will come to his senses.”

Your gaze drops to your shoes, not wanting to talk about this, not now, and you can feel everyone’s gaze on you as you compose yourself, lift your head, and hum, “Maybe.”

Everyone seems to sense how uncomfortable you are, because the topic quickly changes, and Octavia’s gaze falls on Madi, who is watching Clarke clean the queen’s wounds in awe. Clarke glances at her and smiles before muttering, “Madi's a big fan. She's heard every story about the girl under the floor who saved the human race.”

Octavia turns her gaze towards Madi, nodding at her with respect. “Now what's your story? You survived six years of radiation? What's your secret?”

“Synthetic nightblood, like us.” Clarke starts to bandage Octavia’s wound, the lie rolling off her tongue easily. “We took her to Becca's lab and shared our bone marrow to keep her alive.”

“You're lucky the twins found you.”

Madi nods, opening her mouth to say something, when the door to the office swings open and Cooper steps inside. “Ready to move?”

Clarke finishes up the bandage and answers for Octavia, “She needs another day's rest.”

“She needs to be with her people.”

Octavia seems to agree, because she stands, allowing Cooper to hand her her armor. “I'm done licking my wounds. Let's go remind the others what we promised them.”

As she starts to step towards the door, Octavia turns your way. “My banishment of Echo still stands. I’m going to deliver the news now, I’d like for you to be there.”

You glance at Clarke, who nods, and though you aren't ready to confront this, you think that maybe it’ll be easier with Octavia at your side. So you nod, and Octavia smiles quickly before settling her expression into a more serious one. She motions for you to follow her and you do, taking the journey out of the bunker and back up to the surface, into the streets of Polis. The clouds hang low above the streets, dropping a cool rain onto the people that are gathered below, and you’re thankful for it. Maybe it’ll hide your tears if you cry.

Octavia pulls you to her side, the two of you walking together as equals, while Cooper hangs back slightly. As you move down the street, some people turn away, some stop to whisper, and you realize now how much tension hangs in the air over the people of Wonkru. Octavia senses it too, because she turns to Cooper, voice sounding accusatory, “You said they needed to see me, but they can barely look at me. What aren't you telling me?”

“Word has spread about our defeat in the wasteland. Diyoza's firepower has crippled us. The soil here is dead, I don't care how much it rains, it won't be arable for years. And, as you know, the hydrofarm can barely produce enough-”

Octavia cuts her off, sounding upset, “Stop it. We have faced worse odds than this.”

“Yes, but now we know the warning signs of rebellion. I once betrayed you when you were vulnerable, when Wonkru was living in fear.” 

Your brows pull together, curious about the history between the Red Queen and her loyal servant. However, you don't get the chance to ask, because a familiar voice calls out from behind you. “Octavia.”

You and Octavia turn, coming face to face with Echo and Bellamy. You were afraid that the sight of them would upset you, but now, as you stand in front of them, all you feel is anger. Ferocious, white hot anger, pulsing through your blood. If you could, you’d take the knife on your thigh and plunge it into Echo’s heart, letting her feel the hurt that she’s caused you. Echo avoids your eyes, but Bellamy doesn’t, his gaze searching your face for any sign of what you’re feeling. He must sense the anger, because he seems taken aback, not expecting the fire that moves through you. You remember what he said to you before he left, I’ll always be in awe of your anger, and you wonder if he still feels that way now, when so much of it is directed at him. 

You watch him shake his head a little, trying to clear his thoughts, before he looks at his sister, “Glad to see you back on your feet. Echo tried to get in to see you, but they wouldn't let-”

“What is she doing here?”

You are surprised by how meek Echo sounds when she responds, reminding you nothing of the bloodthirsty spy you knew six years ago. “I just wanted to thank you for saving my people.”

“They're not your people.” The anger in Octavia’s voice is palpable, and you find yourself thankful that she’s not going to back down from this. “Azgeda is a memory. There is only Wonkru, and there is no place in it for you.”

Bellamy immediately cuts in, his face fallen. “I know you two have history, but Echo is on our side. She proved herself dozens of times on the ring.”

“This isn't the ring.” Octavia turns slightly, raising her voice to be heard by those around you. “Wonkru, I banished this murderer from the bunker six years ago. My judgement still stands!”

“O.”

She turns back to her brother, stepping closer to deliver her last message with a threatening whisper. “She has 24 hours. If she's still here by then, she fights in the arena.”

She turns, holding out her hand to you, and you glance at Bellamy, watching as he shakes his head, disapproving of the situation. The act makes you defiant, and you want him angry, just like he’s made you, so you smile and take Octavia’s hand, allowing her to whisk you away from the couple. Bellamy, never one to give up without a fight, jogs after the two of you, calling out to you both. “Octavia! Octavia, stop. It was six years ago, you just can't cast her out! She won't survive! Natshana, please! Just let me explain!”

Octavia ignores her brother, fully intent on staying true to her word, but you spin around at the mention of your nickname, pulling Octavia to a stop beside you. You can’t believe he has the nerve to use a nickname he gave you when the two of you were still together, and your expression pulls into one of anger and hurt as you snap, “Don’t call me that!”

His expression pulls into one of hurt, and he opens his mouth to say something, but he is cut off by a warning call from a nearby horn. You turn and lock eyes with the Wonkru leader, both of you looking worried, before you hear a sonic boom, the same one you heard when Diyoza’s ship landed the first time. You look up, eyes finding the small ship in the sky, and as it flies closer, everyone starts to panic. There’s a stampede heading in your direction as everyone runs to the bunker and to safety, and Octavia starts to back away until she sees that her brother isn't following. “Bellamy, get in the bunker.”

“Not without Echo.”

He gives you one last look before he turns and runs off, not even giving you a chance to stop him as he leaves in search of his girlfriend. You feel a pang in your heart knowing that it’s her he’s worrying about, and not you. You stand there frozen, watching him leave, and Octavia does the same, in disbelief that he chose the spy over the two of you. Cooper grabs Octavia’s arm, getting her attention, “Blodreina, look!”

You both follow her pointed finger to the sky, watching as giant metal crates fall from the ship, before it turns and flies away, no bomb dropped. The metal crates fall to the ground slowly, aided by parachutes, before they hit the ground and the sides pop open. You watch in surprise as a bunch of apples roll out, and as you step forward to get a closer look, you see it’s stuffed with all kinds of fruits and vegetables from the valley. You jump in surprise when you hear Diyoza’s voice, coming from a speaker attached to the top of the crates. “People of Wonkru, this is Colonel Diyoza offering you a chance for peace. I know you’ve all suffered, I know you're hungry, and so many of you are weary of Octavia's rule, but now you have a choice. Abandon your weapons, leave Wonkru behind, and join us in Shallow Valley. We have plenty of food and shelter for those seeking a better life. When our ship returns tonight, head for the wastelands. Anyone waiting for us outside the ruins will be rescued. But come unarmed. If Octavia attacks our ship, we will retaliate against your city with lethal force. We're watching everything, always.”

Octavia grabs a weapon from one of the men nearby and swings it towards the speaker, knocking the antenna off the top and ending the transmission. But somewhere nearby, one of the other crates finishes the message for all of you to hear. “There is a place in the valley for all of us, so please choose wisely.”

Octavia turns to Cooper, voice low, and eerily calm. “Get everyone into the bunker. Now.”

Cooper does as she’s told and gathers everyone that still lingers outside to send them back into the bunker. Miller, who has just come out of the bunker to see what the commotion is, stops at Octavia’s side, expression blank. “What are your orders, Blodreina?”

“Burn it. Burn it all, until there’s nothing left.”

You look at her in shock, not pleased to see perfectly good food go to waste, but Miller immediately does as she says and gathers the guards, directing all of them to set the food supply on fire. You stand and watch one of them burn until nothing remains but ashes, lost in your thoughts, not realizing that everyone has left you behind without another word. Everyone, that is, except for Bellamy. 

You don't notice him at first, too lost in your own head, but gradually you become aware of the hairs on the back of your neck lifting, standing at attention underneath someone’s gaze. You turn around quickly, hand reaching for your knife, but you drop it when you realize it’s him. Your face falls, not pleased to see him, or be near him, reminding you of the first few weeks that you knew him. You see a look of hurt pass his features at your expression, and he walks closer to you, coming to a stop at your side. “I thought you were dead.”

Your jaw clenches with anger, and you harden your heart, refusing to let his broken whisper sway your feelings. Instead, you latch onto your lingering anger, turning and directing it towards him. “I know. But that’s not why I’m upset. It hurts me to see you with Echo, but the worst part is that you didn't tell me, Bellamy. You knew how I felt about you, how much I loved you, and you knew how excited I was to have you back on Earth. And still, not once did you tell me that you moved on with someone else.”

Bellamy’s expression sinks, and he whispers, “Loved?”

“What?”

“You said loved, past tense.”

You tense up, not even realizing you said it, and one check of your emotions lets you know that it isn't true. You love him, of course you do, but it would be so much easier if you didn't. Coping with this would be much easier if you felt nothing towards him, if you hadn't spent the last 6 years dreaming of the life you wanted to build with him as soon as you saw him. But you ignore his hurt, and your own, and let your anger crackle like electricity around you. “Do you love her?”

He freezes, caught off guard by the question, before his expression goes neutral. You can tell he’s trying to hide something, his feelings for Echo probably, and it tells you everything you need to know. He looks like he wants to say something else, but he's cut off by your twin, who stands near the base of the rubble and calls your name. When you look towards her, she motions back towards the bunker. “There’s a meeting we need to crash.”

You nod, letting her know you heard her, before turning back to Bellamy. You decide to leave him with one last painful remark, hoping it hurts him, just like this hurts you. “Guess you found someone else to tell you about the stars.”

You wait just long enough to see his face fall before you turn and walk towards your sister, sorrow flooding through you quickly, cooling the fire within you. You hate hurting Bellamy, even now, but losing your other half is something that would break even the strongest of people. You briefly wonder if you have a second to shed a few tears before the meeting, before Clarke quickly destroys those plans by calling out to your former lover, “You too, Bellamy! You need to be there.”

You glare at your twin, and she gives you a sympathetic look as you reach her, her voice soft when she whispers, “You know I wouldn’t invite him unless I had to. But it’s his sister, and he needs to be there.”

You just nod, not trusting your voice, as the two of you wait for him to catch up before heading back into the bunker and towards the main office. Monty and Harper are already there and waiting when the three of you arrive, clearly all on the same page, while you and Bellamy are in the dark. Clarke pushes inside with no hesitation, unfazed by the angry glares that are turning in your direction. 

“This is a private meeting.”

Octavia waves off Miller’s dissent, “It's fine.”

“We all have people in that valley that need our help.”

“If you're talking about your mother, I am not interested in rescuing traitors. I'm trying to prevent more of them.”

Bellamy stares at his sister in disbelief, his voice rising as he lectures her, “Your people are hungry and you're worrying about defectors? We should stop wasting time looking for enemies in Polis, and we should start trying to find a way back into that valley!”

“Last time I checked, Diyoza can see our every move.”

Harper speaks up from her place in the back of the group, motioning towards her boyfriend. “That's where Monty comes in.”

“Laser-comm.” He holds up a radio, showing it to Octavia. “It's dialed right into their mother ship. All I need is a relay tower on the ground that we build out of scrap, and a computer. I should be able to blind the eye from right here.”

“Good plan. Once it's down, we can attack.”

“Miller, set Monty up. Cooper, shoot anyone who tries to defect. We're done here.” She brushes past all of you, heading towards the door. “Time to train.”

Everyone disperses, and you, Clarke, and Bellamy step outside, watching Octavia disappear into the bunker. Bellamy mutters, “That is not my sister.”

You don’t answer, still content on ignoring him, but Clarke doesn't say anything either. You glance her way and see that she is staring off into the distance, and you follow her gaze to see why. Madi is talking with Gaia, both of them smiling. Clarke glances over at you, worried, and you nod. “Go get her. I think I’m gonna stop by for a training session.”

Clarke barely looks your way as she answers, “Let me know if you find out anything.”

You both walk down the ramp together, towards the talking pair, but you immediately continue past them, giving Madi’s shoulder an affectionate squeeze as you move past. She grins at you as you continue by and you smile back at her before following the path that Octavia took into the bunker, leaving Bellamy and any thoughts about him behind without a word. You can tell you’re on the right track, because you hear the sounds of fighting growing louder as you draw closer. Finally, you come upon an open door at the end of a hallway, where Octavia now fights Cooper, easily beating the woman. “I told you not to go easy.”

Cooper steps away, looking apologetic, and you call out, “Got time for one more?”

Octavia looks to where you stand in the doorway, face breaking into a grin. “Cooper, give her your sword.”

You accept the weapon as she hands it to you, brushing past you and out the door, muttering, “Your funeral.”

You step into the room and onto the training room floor, you and Octavia circling each other with predatory grins on your faces. Octavia is the first to make a move, lunging towards you and swinging her sword around, but you lift your sword and block the blow, listening to the sound of metal clanging as it echoes in the room. You reach out and push her hand down and away, spinning your body, bringing your sword with it, and nearly hitting her before she blocks you at the last second. As she does, she looks at you, studying you, before asking, “What do you think about Echo?”

Just the mention of her name sends fire flowing through you, boiling your anger up and over, and you answer her question with an aggressive series of attacks that she barely manages to block. On the last one, as the two of you stand staring each other down, you mutter, “You already know the answer to that.”

“She nearly killed you in Mount Weather.”

You pull back, and lift the shirt on your right side, revealing one of the few scars you received on that fateful trip to the Mountain. You counter her point with, “And she nearly killed you on that cliff.”

You remember the fear and rage you had at the announcement of Octavia’s death, and she must feel the same way about her near death experience, because she answers you with a similarly aggressive response, lunging at you with an onslaught of attacks. You manage to block each one, but on the last one, she uses your focus on the blocking to kick you backwards, knocking you on your back. You feel the air rush out of your lungs in one fell swoop, and you groan as the impact hits the bulletwound on your shoulder, improving day by day, but not able to withstand this kind of trauma. Octavia stands over you, looking down at you, and she mutters, “And now she’s taken Bellamy from you.”

You stare up at her, wondering what angle she’s playing, or if she just wants to hurt you for no reason. But then she extends her hand to you, which you eye warily before taking it. She pulls you to your feet, both of you now standing close, and she whispers, “Her 24 hours is ticking by, but Bellamy seems intent on going with her. What will you do then?”

“I don't know. Bellamy has my heart, but if Echo has his, then I won't stand in their way.”

Her head tips to the side and she tsks, giving you a disapproving look. “That’s not the Invisible Twin that I know. The girl I know fights for what belongs to her.”

“I’d do anything for Bellamy, you know that Octavia. That includes letting him be happy with someone else, no matter what it costs me. I only ever wanted him happy.” As soon as you say it, you know you mean it. Because despite the hurt, the anger, and the pain it will cause you, you will do anything to see Bellamy happy, to see him smile. Even if that means watching him love Echo.

You hear someone clear their throat near the door, and you turn towards them, your eyes falling on Bellamy. You’re not sure how much of the conversation he heard, but it’s clear he caught some of it because he’s watching you with an intense look. Although you just told Octavia you just want to see him happy, that doesn't mean you’re over your hurt just like that. You nod at Octavia, “Thanks for the training.”

She nods back at you, and you head towards the door, extending Cooper’s sword out to Bellamy. You think of Octavia’s words to you, and start to wonder if it was just her way of riling you up so you’d give her a good fight. It’s hard to know for sure, but you decide to warn Bellamy just the same. “She won't hold back. Neither should you.”

Your fingers brush as he takes the sword from you, electricity going up both of your arms. You lock eyes, and he looks like he wants to say something to you, until you cut your eyes at him, warning him not to. He nods, accepting your anger for now, and without another word, you brush past him and out the door, walking away from the love of your life in search of the only family you have left. 

-

You find Madi and Clarke in the tent she set up in the streets of Polis, none of you wanting to spend any more time in the bunker than necessary. After a quick dinner, you mumble something about feeling tired and you curl up in your sleeping bag, intent on crying yourself to sleep after your emotionally taxing day. 

You're not asleep for very long when you’re woken up by the soft sounds of a conversation being held in the tent. You open your eyes slowly, your back to the people talking, listening in on the conversation. 

“It was hard for a while, really hard, but we survived, thanks to Octavia.”

It takes you a second, but you realize it’s Niylah’s voice, quiet in the confines of the tent. You hear Clarke’s sarcastic reply follow, “You mean, Blodreina?”

“How do you explain the sun to someone who's never seen it?”

Clarke seems to hesitate for a second, and you’re sure the comment on the sun has her gaze swinging over to Madi. You brush your fingers over your own necklace, reassured by the silver moon that hangs around your neck before you hear Clarke ask, “And what about the Flame?”

“What about it? The time of the Commanders is over.”

“Does Gaia still have it?”

“They say you made her into a Natblida. Is that true?”

“Yeah.”

“I can still tell when you're lying.” You tense up at Niylah’s response, knowing that Madi being a true Nightblood, not a created one like you and Clarke, puts her in danger. Niylah may say that the time of the Commanders is over, but you know that not everyone believes that. There are people that would kneel to Madi, without hesitation, and given all you’ve seen from Octavia, that is not a situation you are eager to have her in.

You jump when you hear a clang of metal outside, followed by the sounds of Niylah and Clarke slipping from the tent. You rise from your bed and grab your knife, stepping out of the tent just in time to see a hooded figure standing in front of the door, holding a rag over a blonde person’s mouth. Your stomach drops, thinking it’s Clarke and you immediately hold a knife to their throat, close enough now that you can see the person in the hooded figure’s arms is not Clarke. They freeze and lower Niylah’s unconscious body to the ground. Clarke, who is standing nearby, gets a look at the hooded figure’s face first and whispers, “Gaia? What the hell do you think you're doing?”

“Protecting the true last Natblida, as my order has always done.”

You look at Clarke, silently asking her what she wants you to do, and she nods, letting you know it’s okay for now. You lower the knife but keep it close, and Gaia grabs Niylah’s body and starts to drag her away before whispering, “Come on, you two.”

You and Clarke follow her into an abandoned building, closing the door behind you as you spin towards Gaia and look at her in confusion. “Whose side are you on? What are you, Fleimkepa or Wonkru?”

“Blodreina saved my life, but that doesn't mean I can forget my faith.”

She unrolls a leather satchel and you and Clarke watch on, trying to figure out what she’s doing. She reaches for a bottle of liquid, and Clarke puts the pieces together first, reaching out and putting her hand on Gaia’s arm to stop her. “You are out of your mind if you think I'm gonna let you kill my friend.”

“Niylah is not your friend. You're Wonkru or you're the enemy, that's what she believes. If you want to protect Madi, this is the only way.”

“Madi is not a threat to Octavia, she's a child.”

Gaia turns on her, looking at her in earnest.  “Yes, a Nightblood child who appeared two days after we rose from the ashes. That's no coincidence, Clarke. Octavia's not going to see it that way, and neither do I.”

Clarke quickly pulls out her knife and reaches out to grab Gaia, holding the weapon to her throat before either of you realize what she’s doing. “Listen to me, if you think you can force the Flame on Madi-”

Gaia cuts her off, “I would never do that. And I'm not the one you should be afraid of.”

Niylah starts to stir from her place on the table, effectively ending the conversation. Clarke releases Gaia, and nods towards the door. “Go, before she sees you.” 

Gaia turns and steps towards the door, and your twin turns to you. “Get back to Madi, start packing our things. When that transport comes, all three of us are going to be on it.”

You nod your head and slip out the door, jogging back to your tent and grabbing each of your packs, stuffing the most important things inside of them. Clarke drops into the tent a second later, silently passing things to you and helping you to grab what the three of you need. She hands you her sketchpad, the one she turned into a book of pictures for Madi, who must have been flipping through it earlier, because it's open to a picture of Bellamy. Your stomach drops and you’re sure your face does too, because Clarke whispers, “We should tell them, just so they won’t worry.”

“Yeah.”

You put the sketchpad in her pack, and she starts to rise, but you put your hand on your arm to stop her. “I’ll do it.”

“Are you sure?”

You feel tears well up in your eyes, but you force them down and whisper, “It might be the last time I see him. I want to say goodbye.”

She nods, honoring your wishes, and she pulls you into a hug before you go. “It's going to be okay, la lune. I promise.”

A few of your tears spill down your cheeks, triggered by the comfort your twin gives you, and you pull away, wiping them from your face. “Get Madi ready, I’ll be back soon.”

You turn and head out of the tent, moving through the dark streets of Polis to the second camp area set up just around the corner. You’re thankful that the couple chose to camp out over here, because it means you’re less likely to run into them or see them together. Now, however, you know you’re walking right into the lion’s den, preparing to do something that will just break your heart even further. You don’t know what’s worse: Bellamy going to space without the chance for you to say goodbye, or you leaving to go to Shallow Valley and getting to say goodbye, but knowing that Bellamy will always be just out of reach for you. 

When you get to Bellamy and Echo’s tent, you step close to the door, opening your mouth to call out to them, not wanting a repeat of the time you walked in on Bellamy and Raven. But just as you start to announce your presence, you hear Echo’s stressed voice float towards you, through the tent. “Bellamy, I just can’t okay? You may not see it, but everyone else can, me included. You still love her, and she still loves you. I know that you love me, but not the way you love her. And that’s okay, I understand, the heart wants what it wants. But I deserve more than that. I deserve to be loved by someone who can love me fully and completely.”

You freeze in place, goosebumps erupting along your skin as you start to realize that they’re talking about you. Bellamy’s voice sounds distressed when he retorts, “Echo, I do love you fully and completely.”

“Not the way you think you do. Things changed the second Madi saved us from those prisoners and told us the twins were still alive and in trouble.” You feel tears well up in your eyes as you stand silently outside of the tent, waiting with bated breath. “I didn't want to accept it at first, but the past couple of days away from you really opened my eyes. You two belong together. And maybe if she had died in Praimfaya, things could be different for us down here on Earth, but maybe our love was always meant to stay up on the ring. Maybe it wasn't made to last beyond that.”

Your heart breaks at the realization that if what Echo is saying is true, Bellamy still loves you. And here you stand, outside of his tent, preparing to announce your departure to Shallow Valley, leaving him, and the possibility of love, behind. But you know that Madi’s life is at risk here, and Octavia and Wonkru are too unstable to handle the threat of a real Nightblood child, so you know what you have to do. You step back from the tent a little and call out, “Bellamy, Echo, are you guys in here?”

You hear movement from inside the tent, and a second later Bellamy steps out, followed by Echo. They stand a few feet apart, looking uncomfortable, and you notice the pack on her back. “Are you defecting?”

“Not exactly.” You look at her in confusion, but she nods her head towards Bellamy. “He can explain, I have people I need to find.”

You nod, and the former couple stands and looks at each other awkwardly before exchanging a quick hug. They avoid eye contact the entire time and pull away quickly before Echo nods at you in goodbye and disappears into the crowd. You hear the rumble of the approaching transport ship, and you and Bellamy both look towards the sky, watching as it draws closer. You turn to Bellamy, about to begin your goodbyes when you hear Clarke call your name. You turn in her direction, watching as she tells Madi to stay put before she jogs over to the two of you. The first thing she takes note of is Echo’s absence, and she looks at Bellamy. “Where’s Echo? Is she defecting?”

“Not exactly.” He nods for both of you to follow him as he starts to step away. “Come on, I'll explain in the bunker.”

You shake your head, already denying his request. “Bellamy, we're leaving too.”

“What?”

A look of hurt passes over his face, and you resist the urge to reach out to him, to comfort him, kiss him, knowing that right now, things aren’t right. Instead you mutter, “It's not safe for us here.”

“No, you don't understand. Echo's defecting so we can take down the eye, and once it's down-”

Clarke cuts him off, disinterested in hearing their plan. “No, you don't understand. Diyoza is the least of our concerns. Your sister is dangerous, and Madi's…”

She turns to glance back in Madi’s direction, about to expand on the danger she’s in, but when she looks that way, her eyes widen in alarm. You turn around, finding that the place Madi was standing in is now empty, the young Nightblood now missing. Clarke grabs your hand and starts to pull you away, “We have to find her.”

You glance back at Bellamy and find that he is already following you, eyes scanning the area around him for any sign of Madi. You feel a pang in your heart, melting at the fact that he’s searching for Madi even though he doesn't have to, even though he barely knows her. But he’s searching because he knows that she’s important to you and Clarke, and you again have to resist the urge to sweep him up in your arms. 

Clarke pulls you down the street, all three of you looking for Madi and calling out to her. “Madi!”

“Madi, where are you?”

Suddenly, the transport flies right overhead, lowering to the ground nearby, and you turn to Clarke in alarm. “We're out of time.”

The three of you stand there, looking at each other, trying to think on what to do, when a shot rings out nearby. All of your expressions morph into confusion as you hear another shot and a distant cry of pain, before Clarke whispers in horror, “They're shooting at the defectors.”

The three of you take off again, following the steady sound of the gunshots that ring out every few seconds, until finally you see the barrel of a gun sticking out a window, bullets firing from it. You get Clarke and Bellamy’s attention and point up to it, “There!”

“On me.” You and Clarke nod and he pulls out his pistol. Clarke does the same, pushing you behind her so she can protect you. You silently curse yourself for leaving your gun in your pack, never very good at carrying it around with you. Ultimately, it doesn't matter, because Bellamy leads your trio up the stairs and kicks open the door, him and Clarke pointing their weapons at Cooper, who stands looking at you without an ounce of shame. “Cooper, what the hell is wrong with you? Octavia said to let them go.”

Her head cocks to the side, as if she doesn't understand his question. “Who do you think gave me the order?”

“Where is she?”

“In her office, waiting to hear that it’s done.”

As soon as she says it, Cooper pushes past all of you, exiting the room with a blank stare on her face. You, Bellamy, and Clarke all turn and run from the building, heading straight to the bunker to talk to Octavia. But as soon as you climb through the door and down the stairs, Clarke gets a glimpse of a familiar looking figure standing in the atrium with the Red Queen. She immediately takes off running towards her, yelling, “Madi? Madi!”

All three of you try to push through the door and run down to them, but you’re held back by a set of guards near the door. Clarke looks down at the pair, in complete distress, and yells, “Octavia, get away from her!”

Madi looks your way, trying to comfort her. “Clarke, it's okay, I came to her.” Madi turns back to Octavia, who lifts the knife in her hand and slices open her palm. As she reaches out for Madi, she commands, “Let them pass.”

Clarke immediately takes off running towards them, and you and Bellamy jog after her, hearing Octavia’s voice float up to you as you get closer. “Nau oso tai so op kom won jus. Yo laik Wonkru.”

Now we bind ourselves in one blood. You are Wonkru. As soon as you reach the atrium where they both stand, you see that Madi and Octavia’s hands are clasped together, blood dripping from their joined palms. Clarke snaps, “What the hell are you doing?”

“It's okay. She knows everything.”

You and Clarke exchange a worried look before looking at Octavia, who returns her knife to her belt and nods at the two of you. “I understand why you lied, you were just trying to protect her. But Madi no longer needs your protection, she has mine.”

She turns her gaze away from you and back to Madi, reaching her bloody hand up to grip Madi’s chin and hold her gaze with her own. “I know what it's like to be the girl under the floor. You don't have to be afraid anymore, your training begins tomorrow.”

And then she drops her hand, leaving a red and black blood streak behind on Madi’s cheek, smiling at you and Clarke before she turns and leaves the atrium, heading up to the office. Bellamy shifts from his place behind you before following her, and you can hear the muffled sounds of them arguing before they even get the door closed. You ignore it for now, turning to look at Madi and Clarke, who looks between you both with worry. “I know you're both mad, but I told her I didn't want to be Commander. I did it to keep you safe, because Diyoza would kill you both if we went back to the valley.”

Clarke pulls bandages from her pocket for Madi’s hand, and gives her a serious look. “It’s our job to keep you safe. And you just made it a whole lot harder.”

Madi looks upset, and Clarke steps away, trying to calm herself down. You drop to your knees in front of the young Nightblood and wipe the blood from her face as she whispers, “I was just trying to help, ani.”

You smile at her, nodding, trying to show that you aren't upset with her. “I know, little sun. Everything is going to be okay.”

You hear a door slam behind you as soon as the words leave your mouth, and you turn and find Bellamy standing outside of the office, fuming. He meets your gaze, looking upset, and you realize now that you aren’t sure you believe your words to Madi. A ship full of prisoners has taken over your home, the love of your life just got dumped by someone else, and the youngest member of your family is now in trouble because of the color of her blood. You take a deep breath and send a silent prayer to the Universe asking for a lucky break, just this once. 

You hope against hope that it listens. 

-

next chapter

[shadowhuntertrash]

I might have another request for the otp thing 😁 could you maybe do herongraystairs?

OMG YES THANK YOU I LOVE THIS (also @autumnangel20)

So it depends if someone is fighting with Will the best way to make up is to buy him a book and read it too him. They don't know who started it but its the best way to gain his forgiveness. If it's Tessa they learned to just give her space to ride it out and let her rant at them about whatever they did. If it's Jem they just apologize because he's chill and he will easily forgive them for most things.

They love going to the park. Tessa likes to read under the trees, Jem likes to sit and feel the breeze when it's cold outside, and Will enjoys tormenting the ducks (until they chase him then he decides its time to leave)

I feel like Will is most likely to be prom royalty cause he's got that Herondale charm and that whole bad boy vibe that makes everyone want to be the only exception (but he's already found his exceptions) i feel like Jem and Tessa are both also popular Jem for being nice and Tessa for just being amazing and yeah.

I feel like Jem is actually a really good cook because there were days when he couldn't make breakfast or dinner but he felt better afterwards and didn't want to bother the cook so he learned how to make his own food. I feel like Will can cook too because his mom made sure he started learning from a young age and he helped Jem out when he was just a little too weak to do it himself. Which leaves Tessa whos been taught to cook but hates it and never pays enough attention. She tried making a turkey for Thanksgiving once and burned it so bad you couldn't get any meet off of it.

Jem and Will often share a bed and Tessa will come and sit in there to read sometimes. She'll read out loud to them while Will plays with Jem's hair while Jem falls asleep. Other times Tessa will crawl in with them and sleep between them, her head on Will's chest her hand holding Jem's.

Will finds himself hilarious. He's got the kind of humor that Tessa and Jem find amusing but no one else really gets. He'll tell a joke and crack up laughing but no one else will if Jem and Tessa aren't there because they don't understand it. It took Tessa a while to understand his humor as well so Jem had to explain all of Will's jokes as Will worked himself into tears laughing so hard.

They have movie nights each week and they take turns choosing the movie. Tessa is a simp for Mr. Darcy so they often watch Pride and Prejudice on Tessa's days. Will likes dramatic movies so they often watch adventure movies like The Matrix and the like. Jem likes musicals and has repeatedly made them watch Mary Poppins because the songs are "the best ever made" and Julie Andrews is "a literal queen". Tessa and Will often tease him about it but he loves Julie and the movie so much that it doesn't even bother him.

Jem names the pet. Will and Tessa enjoy animals but Jem is an animal person so when they found a cat who they decided to keep Jem named him Palace to which Tessa and Will told him he needed to stop naming animals after places. He ignores them and continues naming animals that way.

Tessa often calls Will dude as an inside joke because when Will was chasing her she would call him dude in way of keeping him friend zoned. It obviously didn't work but they found it hilarious and Tessa constantly refers to Will as dude.

This ones complicated. Will makes the first move and then is like hahaha jk I don't want you Tessa because he's confused because he's been in love with Jem for years. So then Jem makes a move on Tessa and they get together and Will is like jabsuwbs I dont know what to do. So Jem mistakes his confusion for anger because he thinks he wants Tessa so then he's like im sorry because he wants Tessa but he loves Will and just wants Will to be happy. So then Will and Tessa are together and Tessa is like mkay I have a confession please don't be mad but I understand if you want to break up and Will is like oh god what is it what's wrong?? And Tessa is like deep breath, okay im also in love with Jem and Will is like ohoh thank god lol same and she's like wait what and hes like yeah for years. So then they decide to just tell Jem and see what happens and he's like bruh fr cause I love yall too and thats that story.

They don't get jealous really. They all know how much they mean to each other and have faith in their loyalties. If they were jealous it wouldn't work between them.

Tessa wants kids as does Jem but Will stresses out about it because he still feels like a child so how is he supposed to raise his own?? They all raise James Mina and Lucie together and they do amazing because they all make AMAZING parents.

Will started the prank war with Tessa by ruining her favorite book (but not really it was a copy) and Tessa got him back by putting hair dye in his shampoo to which he responded by putting poppers under the rug which actually got Jem who they hadn't meant to get. Jem then got them back by putting toothpaste in oreos. Jem most definitely won that prank war.

We know the names. Will had two kids with Tessa, James who they named after Jem, Lucie who they named after a character from A Tale of Two Cities, and then Tessa and Jem had a kid who they named Wilhelmina after Will.

Tessa starts out passing candy out at the house while Will and Jem take the kids trick or treating and by the time Will, Jem and the kids get back Tessa is fed up with sitting outside and so they leave the candy outside and go watch movies.

[incorrect-akatsuki-no-yona]

Smol theory

This is just a small theory but I hope it’s true:         So I think that when Soowon said to Geun-Tae that he has no intention of having a successor because he has an idea of who he wants to be King, he meant Hak. I know it sounds crazy but listen, he refused to marry Yona and kept trying to bring Hak and Yona together. He didn’t bother to hold search parties for Yona and Hak for too long which kind of to me suggests that he wanted them to stay alive together. IDK what do yall think of this….

—–

Okay so first of all: HELL YES!!!! Honestly with the way things are going that would make a lot of sense and would tie out the story quite nicely I think. And Soo-Won definitely seems the type to have planned out an end game for all of this, especially with his… uh… condition. Also, given that this story is about Yona, I think her succeeding as Queen is quite likely already (and since Hak is the love interest, he’d be King) but let’s do an analysis anyway for shits and giggles. [WARNING: Avast! Manga spoilers ahead!]

My customary disclaimer: What you’re about to read is about 98% bullshit I wrote in 20 minutes, 1.5% recall from my last reading of the manga (which feels like decades ago), and 0.5% really bad math. @incorrect-akatsuki-no-yona​ is not liable for any braincell loss incurred through reading this nonsense.

Okay so let’s start with the evidence. What we know so far about Soo-Won’s situation:

- The royal family is super messed up. We’ve got Yu-Hon (who was cool for about 3 chapters before going right back to asshole territory) committing genocide for his One Tru Luv. Then there’s Il, a religious fanatic(?) who married a woman just so they could produce a baby dragon reincarnation (creepy) and probably had a hand in his brother’s death at some point. 10/10 good job team. I’m glad to see everyone is using their words.

- Soo-Won killed King Il likely for two main reasons: 1. revenge for whatever the heck happened between Il and Yu-Hon, and 2. because he wanted to Bob the Builder fix Kouka kingdom, which admittedly, he’s done quite well at

- At some point, Soo-Won found out about the legend of the dragons and the truth of his heritage. Whether this is before or after his illness presented itself, we don’t know.

Now, onto your theory: Soo-Won planning to have Hak and Yona succeed him.

All in all, I think it’s safe to say that whatever Soo-Won’s end game is, he probably doesn’t expect to survive and has planned accordingly. I think it’s also important to acknowledge at this point that Soo-Won is probably the character (who’s currently alive) with the most complete knowledge of what has really happened in the past, and maybe has an idea of what might happen in the future (Ik-Soo always excepted, because having divine revelations is cheating).

We’ve also been told that Kashi had predicted that Yona would bring the dragons together, and that this was documented in Yong-Hi’s diary which Soo-Won has read. Going off of this, it’s possible that he could have orchestrated the entire fiasco at the castle to kick-start the pokemon dragon collection process. It is worth noting though that this interpretation assumes that Soo-Won read his mother’s diary at some point before the main story, probably at the time around his father’s death, which then informed his future plans.

What his plans are involving Yona and the dragons is something I can’t really comment on at this moment (mainly because I can’t remember anything from the manga), so I’ll leave it for now (also I could be completely wrong about this, since Soo-Won kinda also didn’t seem to care about the dragons until he actually met them?) However, long term, given Yona’s exploits, her status as the reincarnation of Hiryuu, and the fact that she’s beloved by just about everybody, she’s the prime candidate to succeed as future ruler. And given how calculating Soo-Won has shown himself to be, I’m sure he’s considered that too. Also, it might have been prophesied. Because prophecies are a thing apparently.

However, as good of a ruler Yona is, she clearly doesn’t have much military experience, largely because helicopter parent Il never really gave her any chances to learn. As she is now, if Yona were to direct Kouka’s army in battle, it probably wouldn’t go well since she has no training in strategy. The solution? Hak. We see from chapter 169 that Soo-Won and Hak had meetings in the past, where Soo-Won would expound upon military strategies that could be used in battle. Apparently these meetings stuck so well, Hak was able to recall them and make a plan on the fly in the middle of a battle.

I think in the past we’ve been lead to see Hak as more of a one man army, rather than an actual commander of troops, particularly when compared to Soo-Won’s general craftiness. For me, this chapter really showed that Hak has both the physical and tactical prowess needed to defend and maintain Kouka’s borders. Between him and Yona, Kouka would be in good hands. 

Anyway I’ve blabbed too long so I’ll end things here. Who knows, I could be completely off the rails and Soo-Won is just a Hakyona shipper. Thanks for the ask @olivia0103!

TL;DR: Crafty boi + Illness + Prophecy = Hakyona shipping (I told you there would be bad maths)

- Pip