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vritest · 2 years

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Lost While Being In Love

andrew!peter parker x fem!reader

*mostly angst but a lot of fluff too

A/N: this is my first ff so I hope this is good enough! I would love feedback and as always enjoy! *you’re from Chicago because I’m from there too btw!*

Walking through New York City while it was snowy and filled with Christmas decorations wasn’t exactly the most homiest feelings. Looking at the couples with hands intertwined made your heart sink, you wish that for at least a moment you could feel that, so you thought going out for a drink at the bar would’ve made it at least a little bit better. Walking in your local bar you smelled all the drinks varying from beer to the very strong smell of whisky. You sat down at a stool when the bartender came over to you and asked what you would like, you just asked for a beer. Looking out the window you admired the beautiful view you had and smiled. That smile was later gone when you looked at someone who had asked you a question. He was tall, had fluffy brown hair and was wearing a long jacket he looked around your age. “Oh I’m sorry what’d you say?” You asked, as you looked up at him “I asked if there was anyone sitting here” he said with a small smile, “oh! uh no” he nodded and pulled out the stool next to you. He didn’t ask for a drink instead turned towards you “so what’s gotten you here?” He asked as you finished sipping your beer, you sighed and looked at him, when you noticed his brown eyes, that reminded you of chocolate. “Well I don’t really know. Honestly. I guess I’ve been feeling lonely recently. I’ve just moved in to my new apartment here and I’m new to New York. I’m originally from Chicago but I’m here because I felt like a needed a change you know? I don’t think that looking at couples that are in love would make it any better so I guess hiding here is a better option” you chucked, he looked at you softly as he listened to every single thing you’ve said lost in thought, he didn’t respond. Maybe you’ve said too much? “I’m sorry was that too much?” You asked breaking the silenced, he smiled and sighed “no no you’re fine. I understand where you’re coming from. We’ve all been there and we all get through it at some point” you nodded in agreement as you sipped more of your beer. He looked at the table and then at you again, “Peter Parker” he said with a warm smile, “y/n l/n” you responded.

The two of you shared a lot with eachother in the bar. Such as how he lost his girlfriend 4 years ago, it made you remember how you lost your sister who was like your best friend, do to lung cancer because she smoked a lot. You two noticed you had a lot of things in common and you really liked this, Peter Parker. “Its been so long since I’ve been in love” Peter said as you guys were walking through the streets to get to your apartment, “yeah me too. I havent been in love ever since my ex from high school, and it wasn’t even a great relationship” he laughed. While talking and sharing laughs you noticed that the two of you had the same sense of humor which made you feel the most comfortable you’ve felt in a long time. Arriving to your small apartment, you turned to face Peter at the door “hey thanks for this. I really appreciate it.” You said with a smile, that made him blush slightly, putting a hand on your shoulder he said “no problem” as you took out your keys from your pocket to unlock the door , you felt a hand grab your arm, you looked back at the tall brunette boy “you didn’t give me your number” he said, making you laugh, “right.” You said as you both exchanged numbers

Throughout the rest of the night all your thoughts revolved around the tall young man you met in the bar. You don’t know why you felt like that. He was just a random guy that happened to care about you, maybe that’s why you felt a connection, someone actually cared.

“I’m done y/n, dealing with your bullshit” your mom said as she slapped you. All you wanted to do was cry and cry until it formed a river under you. “Mom, I just want to have freedom all you’ve ever done to me is tell me I’m a disgrace and you’re never satisfied with everything I do. I GOT ABOVE AVERAGE GRADES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Now you literally ruined my life by declining my scholarship to my dream school.” you cried as you yelled. You hated yelling. It reminds you of the way your dad used to yell at your mom as well. “MAYBE BECAUSE YOURE A SHIT DAUGHTER? YOU DESERVE NOTHING Y/N. YOURE JUST LIKE YOUR DAMN FATHER” she yelled. That was your breaking point. Wiping your tears with your white “The Beatles” shirt, you ran to your room and started packing as much as you could. Crying is all you could do. You grabbed your backpack with all your clothes and your piggy bank which had all your money that you’ve saved up ever since you were a kid and because . You took a pack of cigarettes and your lighter which you had customized. Walking out of your messy room, you looked back at the house that was never full of love, and headed out, not even saying a goodbye.

Waking up in the morning was still weird. You’ve only been in New York for a few weeks, so far it wasn’t exactly great, but oh well you were trying to make it a little bit better. You stretched on your bed as you heard a notification sound coming from your phone, lifting your phone up, it was Peter.

8:32 a.m: Hey good morning. I was wondering if you’d like to go a cafe that just opened here, i haven’t gone so I figured I’d take you with me, if you’d like :)

You smiled as you remembered everything that had happened the day before, not even hesitating you started typing

8:40 a.m: Hi, of course I’d love to. Just let me know and what time and I’ll be there

You pressed send and smiled. It took you a few seconds to realize that you have been a smiling idiot for the whole time thinking about Peter, you looked in the mirror of your room that was covered by magazine covers you had put up as decoration. “Why is this happening to me??” You asked softly as you fell back on your bed.

You finally decided to get ready, you did your hair, and tried to dress well. While you were making breakfast for your self you decided to put on one of your all time favorite song “Sextape” by Deftones. You made yourself some pancakes and sausage that your older sister had taught you to make when you were 15 years old. Remembering the way you two used to vibe to Nirvana songs together made you smile. You had just finished breakfast as you heard a knock on your off white door, you opened it and Peter was standing there looking around, he noticed you and coughed awkwardly, “hey” he said, “hi” you responded smiling.

When you two arrived and the new cafe, you two took your order and sat on a table close to an old couple. You and Peter shared an interest of taking photos, he talked to you about how much he loves taking photos, everywhere he visited especially when he was on the top of buildings. You also remember when you used to live in Chicago how much you loved to walk around the streets in the summer when the skyline would be beautiful. Sipping your coffee as you listened to Peter Parker rambling about everything you couldn’t help but notice the tenderness of his eyes and how much you loved them. You didn’t even notice the old couple had come up to your table, “I hope you two get married soon. You guys seem so in love” the old woman said as she walked away “we’re not-“ you and Peter said at the same time, you looked at eachother and laughed. “I guess I have to propose to you now” Peter said laughing, you laughed harder. He reached out for something in his pocket, you were curious of what he had reached for. Peter kneeled down in front of you and you turned red. He took out a ring pop, watermelon flavored. You laughed harder that you have ever laughed in years, “y/n l/-??” He said as he stuttered to remember your last name, “l/n” you corrected him as you chuckled, “right. Will you marry me?” You gasped sarcastically, “oh my god yes!” You laughed. He placed the ring pop on your ring finger. “I can’t believe you just did that, Peter” you said as you sucked on your ring “I don’t know either”

The past few months you and Peter had been hanging out with eachother and always doing different things every time you two could go out, except when he was busy studying of course. You weren’t in college because of your current situation, instead you worked at that cafe he had invited you in the beginning of your friendship. You two had become extremely close. So close that you didn’t notice how the two of you were slowly falling in love. It was a Saturday and he was supposed to be at your place as he promised, this wasn’t new to you though. He had slowly been ending up more late to the days you two would agree to hang out. You wondered why, but you never really asked him about it, today though, you were done being curious and felt like you deserved the truth. Sitting in your room, you felt a window open up, you turned towards it and not being surprised, you saw Peter, with- a scratch on his eyebrow and a black eye. You hurried towards him and helped him in “Peter.. what the hell happened??” You asked as you caressed his face carefully, he hissed. “Uhm. Well. Uh - I tripped on my way here” you rolled your eyes, “bullshit” you muttered as you went to say him down on your bed as you took took out bandaids for him to use, “did the floor punched you and give you a black eye? Peter, I know something is going on you just don’t want to tell me” you muttered softly, he didn’t respond. Your eyes opened wide, “don’t tell me you’re apart of a gang of something?”, he choked on his saliva, “WHAT? No. Of course not” he said. You placed the bandaid on his eyebrow and sighed. You sat next to him in silence of the next 5 minutes. He didn’t say anything the whole time. “I’m Spider-Man.” He said breaking the silence. You looked at him straight in His eyes. Those eyes that could make you fall in love with him 100 times. “No way.” You said whispering, you looked at him and tried punching him, he held your hand just in time. “What the fuck y/n?” He said and laughed. “I was trying to see if you had the spider sense thingy that everyone says you have and apparently they weren’t wrong” you said raising and eyebrow, he chuckled of how cute you looked right now. “Wait. Does that mean you could take me to work without me having to worry about being late?” He looked at you and didn’t answer; hoping you would understand that the answer was no. The rest of the night was spent watching movies and eating like both you you always did. This wasn’t anything new, you two had watched millions of movies before. Suddenly, you felt a hand touch your hand. You looked at Peter, but he wasn’t looking at you. You grabbed his hand and layed on his shoulder. He started blushing like crazy, but surprisingly he didn’t really react. It was like your touch felt so much like home that it didn’t even feel uncomfortable or weird. He looked at you with such caring eyes as he admired everything about you. “Peter” you whispered, “yeah?” He asked softly, “does one of your powers make your best friend fall in love with you?” You asked, he laughed and raised your chin with his pointer finger. Now this, you weren’t expecting. Without even thinking twice, Peter kissed you. You felt like you were about to levitate or something. The kiss was so passionate and you could tell he’d been waiting for the perfect time to do this. Pulling away finally, the two of you stared at eachother just admiring eachother. “I dont think so” he finally answered. I guess it was true, you could be like one of the couples you had seen outside the bar that evening.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! :)

#andrew garfield spiderman x reader #spiderman #peter parker #marvel #andrew garfield #tasm imagine #imagine #angst with a happy ending #tw triggers

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wispycecilia · 2 years

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HI IRENEEEE I HOPE U'VE BEEN DOING WELL !! <333 how've you been? :o don't forget to drink water too 💪💪💖 but yo i saw that ask you answered and i hope im not intruding in ur asks ANDKSJS but WHAT YOU PLAY FF WHAT ??? /nm hi but yes i finished endwalker yesterday and it's the best experience i've ever had in any fictional... thing. imo. ngl. tbh. yeah. peak fiction as i was promised by in game friends WHWKNDKA it's really good ,,, all /gen ^^ 😭 kind of embarrassing too tho bcs i cried SM BUT WUWJSBDKSN hush hush /pos /nm 😗✌

but hi sorry i will try not to ramble too much 😩✌ how've you been? we don't rlly talk much n i havent been on tumblr lately tbh WHDJBSK but still, hiho don't forget to rest your eyes! and enjoy ur break (?) too hehe 🙈✨

HI HI OMG HI ASTRIA AUUWHQUKA ive been okay :’D been having actual motivation to write recently!!

BUT UAHWBEJNAIAUUH FINAL FANTASY IVE FOUND MY PEOPLEEEE IM ACTUALTJNH SOBBINF. MY FRIENDS HAVE BEEN SLOWLY CONVINCING ME TO GET IT BCZ THEY ALL HAD A SIMILAR REACTION TO URS?!? ENDWALKER RLLY BREAKING THE PLAYERBASE HUH 💀 i’ve been trying to avoid spoils but i saw some when i was scrolling through tiktok now i feel like a 🤡 omg BUT THE OTHER EXPANSIONS WERE LOVELY. I HOPE ENDWALKER FOLLOWS THROUGH AUGHFJ

anyways ff brainrot over :’D any rambling is welcome here!! especially bcz i really have to chat to some more people about final fantasy GHAHAHA annddd i rlly haven’t been active either - we’re inactive buddies 🥲🥲

#wispywhispers *;#ireneteractions *;#chats with astrxealis <3 #MORE SCREAMING ABT FINAL FANTASY AUUGKENM MY DAY TODAY IS. SO GOOD #ill try my best to start dropping into ur inbox more!! :’D we should chat more

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daddy-ul · 3 years

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Since you’re a Lars fan do you believe that Lars was right about Napster

Ah, isn’t this ask the dream of every Lars stan? /sarcasm

My dear duder, I can totally see that you are genuinely asking this bc you are curious, so I’ll give you two answers: the one I want to give (1) and the one you are expecting to receive (2) from someone who, in theory, likes the man in question enough to know abt the debacle.

They will be both sincere, at time sarcastic, passionate, but never aggressive.

“Napster? Is it a napkin american brand or something? This european ass doesn’t know” is my standard go-to, bc IT’S BEEN 20 YEARS. ENOUGH.

You called me “a Lars fan”, and tbh the best thing I can do as his fan is... not engaging with it. Because it has been 20 years, everything that could be said has been said, and the man can’t take it anymore. It’s almost never posed as a real question but more as a dig, as a way to extrapolate scandal, a reaction, views or whatever.

Under the cut - it’s gonna be long - you’ll find my actual thoughts abt it, bc ofc i have thoughts abt it.

The thing is that I dont think most people even know what actually Napster is about, at least for Metallica.

Long story short: Metallica does a song for a movie, they are still tweaking it and suddenly it’s on the radio. It’s I Disappear. Metallica (the band, the management etc) goes wtf????? How?

In 2001 Napster was about control. Nothing more, nothing less.

🥕 Argument 1: “It’s about the money! Lars Ulrich is a greedy moth--”

Rebuttal: Nope, it’s the 2000s, Metallica is a fucking juggernaut, they sold so fucking much in the years prior and after that Jason Newsted still lives confortably with all that money, without having to work constantly.

Also, these are the dudes who let you tape their concerts back in the day and nowadays they give you a professional mix of your concert for free with the ticket. PROFESSIONAL MIX. Do you know that mixing requires money and time? They could easily not do it. They do, and i fucking love it bc I have forever my concert in digital form and with a good sound.

🥕 Argument 2: “He was an ingrate! He wanted to attack the fans! To sue them! To--!”

Rebuttal: yeah, I know where you get this from but it’s also not true. This is the only point of the story where I think Lars was on the wrong side, and the man himself admitted that.

What really happed was: Napster said “we cant do anything bc we cant know who downloaded what”, and they were lying, and Lars was so irritated by that, that went and with a fucking car full of paper with names on it, read out loud ppl names that downloaded from the site. Because OF COURSE you can know who is who with IP addresses. And Lars said it was only a show of force, a “do you think we are fucking fools? stop lying” and not a “I will come to your house and demand money”. It really went out of hand, he was too much in the heat of the moment, he regrets that move, bc of course it was interpreted like that, even if he didnt absolutely want to come after the fans.

🥕 Argument 3: “But Lars--”

Rebuttal: STOP SAYING LARS. SAY METALLICA, FFS. This is the thing that piss me off the most: it 👏 was 👏 not 👏 Lars 👏

Okay, it was Lars, but he was Lars on Metallica behalf. He was not a rogue agent of Justice. Lars doesn’t do stuff like that on his own. It was a group decision. Metallica chose to fight for it and Lars, as usual, chose to be the spokesman. But most people just hate Lars... why? I cant even take you seriously if you drool over James Hetfield bc he is “so cool” but then you go on hating Lars for Napster. You are just not making any sense. Hate ‘em all at least, lol!

>>>>> Why do I say that it was about control?

a) The man himself admitted it.

b) have you ever heard them talk? Everything is about control with them, bc control grants you freedom. Like, they have their own record company just to produce their shit themselves. Nobody ever talks how they fought Elektra to get back their masters (and again Lars was on the front for that). They want to do it their way, they always do.

From 2000!Lars POV it went like this “how come our song is out on some site or whatever when we havent even completely finished it yet? Who gave them the right?”

Look me in the eye and tell me that any artist would be fine with that.

So, then it escalated so fucking quickly, but 2000!Lars didnt know what duststorm he was rising. I dont want to paint him as a hero or whatever, he admitted that back then he didnt know how big and complicated the thing was, he learned it along the way.

Nowadays the music landscape is completely changed and I dont think my opinion on it has any value bc I’m not an expert and I know so little about it. But I read different articles about how hard it is to make music for a living now.

I could go on and on (i just cut out a paragraph that compared what making money in the music industries was about for Queen in the 70/80s and what it is now), but I’m tired of thinking in english, so I’ll cut this short and make it sweet:

I believe that artists deserve to be paid for their art and I also believe that downloading some songs is not the end of the world. Yes, these two things dont contraddict each other bc the world can contain such complexity.

Support the artist how you can!; if everyone does that, it will be fine at the end.

EDIT:

The most insightful, short comment I found was made by kirk a couple of years ago.

They told him "see? Now everyone understands the Napster thing! You were right, thank god you won."

But he said no, no we didn't win.

I agree with him.

#duderz anonymouz #warning: it was very tiring to write this so it's gonna be chokefull of grammar horrors #that said: i'm not going to tag this as i said in point 1 #i ended up chosing to answer it anyway bc i believe that most ppl lack the context from which it all developed #and without context they form this totally illogical conclusions #like a month ago there was that boring vid of metallica playing on a stream with non copywrited music playing over them #and the comment section was 'this is their fault! this is npster fault!!!!'#no. nope. noppety niet #that comes from another fucking problem. waaaaay bigger than this one. and that does very much involve greed #lars ulrich #jinn out #jinn contemplates life. metallica and life.#ask #btw anon im not mad at you for asking

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slutsofren · 3 years

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fic writer tag by @the-lonelybarricade thank you my love!! this was a nice lil tag 💞

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

136,828

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Star Wars, The Last of Us, A Court of Thrones and Roses, and Harry Potter

4. What are your top 5 five by kudos?

Danger Days

The High Lady of Cunning

Personal Succubus

Not The Only Way

Satiated

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i respond to most, not everything. i get kind of nervous about replying asdfgkj

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

nothing i write will ever end angsty, im a slut for hea's!!

7. Do you write crossovers?

the only one i have is my slytherin!kylo x reader au (star wars meets 1970s harry potter wizarding world)

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

nah but ive gotten snarky comments

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

hell yeah, i write all kinds. oral, penetration, pegging, choking, poly, crying, consensual slapping, light d/s, etc etc

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of. for the record i only post here or on ao3, i will never post on ff net or wattpad.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope but im very supportive of them!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

ive been thinking about this and no i havent but oof i would love to!! if anybody ever wants to collab just DM me!!

13. What is your all time favorite ship?

any adcu or ppcu character x reader :^))))

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

probably my reader insert hunger games fic

15. What are your writing strengths?

angst and smut lol

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

transitioning scenes >:^((((

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

it can get.... really stereotypical especially in the pedro pascal fandom, ie spanish isnt exactly universal and sometimes it can be hugely distracting especially if/when a reader doesn't know the language idk it's something that can bother me as a mexican.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

star wars! it was my CEO!kylo x mistress!reader au

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

im a huge fan of my baby danger days if i do say so myself

Tagging my dears @babbushka, @mylifeisactuallyamess, @themuseic, @daydreamsofren, & @hedgy-hog!

#tag game #asher talks #meet asher #tag meme

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cupidssrosses · 4 years

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i. love. ship. playlists.

so, i know for a FACT that im not the only one that uses songs to picture scenarios with a pairing i really love. like, sometimes im so set on the idea of a ship that i have to rewrite the entire show in my brain, rework it so that they end up together logically. songs are always so good to visualise too. harringrove is the BEST for this, because the show itself uses scenes set to 80s music all the time.

anywho, this is a really longwided way of saying hey heres my harringrove playlist enjoy :)

this song has always been made for a scene where tension has to slowly build.

so, instead of the scene with billy and neil happening at the end of the season when theres much more world-end-y things to deal with, it happens earlier.

the scene happens, billy goes to find max and ends up finding steve and the kids in that junkyard.

“am i dreaming or is that you harrington”

(really rushed) “yeah its me dont cream your pants what the FUCK are you doing here hargrove you have to leave right now”

billy won’t shut the fuck up so steve has to cover his mouth and try to push him into the bus. then we hear a demidog, steve gives up on billy and gets ready to fight, quietly hands billy a broken pole or something just in case.

the song starts from 0:00 right when billy sees the demidog, the camera pans in on his face, just so confused and scared, processing what hes seeing. then he joins the fight, he and steve back to back protecting the kids. this leads to billy being part of the gang, at least in some respects. hes strong as fuck and now they have to fill him in on the circumstances now so hes around more often to help. he wants to protect max, but also be near/protect steve.

so ! during subsequent fights/situations, billy and steve get a little closer, damn they’re not in love but hey they’re getting more comfortable and theres deeeefinitely some mutal attraction, the energy from those shower and basketball scenes hasn’t gone away. if steves the mother figure billys the dad.

on the “i need a hero” (BAM) part that leads into the chorus, billy saves steve with some kind of big action you know? RIGHT on the beat i swear i get chills every time i picture it to this song. like he pushes something off of him or pull him out of the way really suddenly after running reaaaallly fast to get to him. right after it cuts to steve looking all suprised and impressed while billy keeps fighting.

same applies to the part that goes “watched out here i COME” in the second song, except its steve saving billy.

since two thousand and fucking 17 ive seen this song as billys image of steve. it always sounded like his thoughts about him.

this is one of the first moments billy realises he might really REALLY like steve. hes not just horny he might actually love this moron. at around 2:07 when all the instrumental goes away and its mainly the drums, thats when it happens.

hes picking steve up from somewhere. theyve been spending more time together as buddies. he apologised for being a dick, theyve had some more serious conversations. hes taking him to hang out with the kids, maybe he just needed a ride home from school or work. anyway, its golden hour. hes waiting to see him and hes weirdly nervous, more than he ever was waiting to pick up a date with one of the hawkins girls.

and then he sees steve walk out onto the street, or come around the corner.

his heart STOPS. steve just looks so beautiful. the light hitting his hair. he smiles at someone he knows as the walk by. billys just HIT with hoe much he loves this stupid moron and his stupid fucking smile.

steves looking around for the car and looks so. happy. when he sees billy, billy smiles back. its been a while since hes smiled that genuinely.

billy really really part of gang now. this might be sometime after the final events of season 2 i think?? billys saved them all, had a lot of experiences, hes built up some trust with the group and it feels normal that hes there. hes part of the family, and thats what this songs about.

it night time, theyre at steves house, all the kids, nancy, jonathen, etc. some are swimming, everyones dancing, things feel a little more okay.

at around 1:54, (again im a sucker for stripping away most of the instrumental and relying on a few key sounds, including loud drums) billy looks around. he has for one of the first times in a while this sense of FAMILY and ACCEPTANCE and SAFETY.

theres all these shots of everyone having fun, like 2 or 3 cuts, then to steve. just standing there laughing, hairs all wet from the pool, towel around his shoulders. he looks over, catches billys eye, gives him a smile, it feels like he knows what hes thinking, and he feels the same way.

same night, during the part build up that starts at around 2:53, everyones trying to get billy to dance, hes been smoking on one of the pool chairs, not antisocial just not dancing. not his thing. plus he doesnt want to look like an idiot infront of steve. anyway.

one of the kids starts it, starts gesturing for him to get up, pointedly singing the lyrics, the rest join in unti theyre all singing and chanting for him to join, all while the song builds and builds. finally steve joins in. maintains eye contact. thats enough for billy. he just keeps his eyes on steve as he stands up. its more like theyre dancing together, less like the kids are there. right at the end of that bridge he just lets go. takes of his jacket and dances around with everyone. he doesnt look stupid either. he looks good. and steve notices

this is a small one, i dont even have a story to it. all i know is that comparisons between the scene that accompanies this song in top gun and the basket ball scene in st2 have been made, and itd be a super fun, corny scene :)

starts at the very begining. this song has ALWAYS felt so magical and me. i get chills every god damn time i hear the intro. i want their first kiss to be to the intro.

its after the last fight of season three. someone else was flayed, someone we dont love. obviously billy survives. in FACT, he was along for the ride with robin and steve, all the shenanigens with the russians, billy was tied up and drugged too. BOTH he and robin admit their sexualities.

billy still sacrafices himself to save the kids from the monster, he says something cute like “see ya round pretty boy” or some corny shit like that before he goes to run and save el, theres a moment when steve knows what hes about to do, theyre staring at eachother and theeeerse the electricity steve knows so much about. theyre really about to kiss, staring at eachothers mouths, but the monster makes a noise and billy knows its now or never, so he runs off.

steve tries to save him but gets nocked out. he goes unconcious thinking billys going to or is already dead.

it cuts to the end scene when theyre all in the car park. steves got an icepack to his face, hes obviously been sobbing.

but he heres a voice.

(clearly overjoyed and kind of smug) “am i dreaming or is that you harrington”

he looks up. its billy. we get a nice long run-jump-hug. steves in billys arms before he can even finish his sentence:

(nearly crying but SO excited) “yeah its me dont cream your pa-”

NOW. OKAY SO. i love love love they idea of billy steve and robin going home with murray, or at least showing up at his place. maybe billy cant stand the thought of going home, hell maybe neil was the one that got flayed and died idk. anyway.

nancy and jonathen are like, we know a place if people dont want to go home, and they go murrays place. when they show up at the door murray KNOWS. hes like “ffs two more people who have repressed feelings for eachother what am i a therapist. but he lets them in and they have a similar conversation that murray had with nancy and jonathen/joyce and hopper. poking fun at how much they like eachother etc.

billy and steve have a really intimate talk. not sexaul intimate, just really open. theyre both so tiered, steve thought billy was dead, billy had to say goodbye to steve, who he KNOWS hes in love with by now, thinking he was about to die. they both KNOW how the feel about eachother now, but they havent said it explicitly. just lots of “i really thought id lost you”, “your my best friend”, “i cant believe youd do that for me” etc etc.

they decide to go to bed, billy walks steve to his room, the one nancy stayed in when she and jonathen got together, theyre standing at the door. just staring at eachother like they were during that fight sequence. the energies back. billy really thinks he might go for it, but decides he doesnt want to ruin things if steve doesnt really feel the same way. he doesnt even know if he likes guys yet. so he just says “night steve” (steve, get it, not harrington, cause theyre close now and he loves him and those defensive barriers are down ahhhh).

just as he turns to leave, steve does this:

this exact thing. he grabs billys arm, leans down and kisses him. he thought he lost his chance once, he nearly died like a million times in the past 48 hours. he cant stop himself.

RIGHT HERE is when the intro to jump kicks in. FUck that synth, the rumbling note that runs through the whole thing. time. stops. its perfect. billys wanted this for so long, so has steve but in the grand tradition of fanfiction he didnt know it until he nearly lost billy for good.

their arms are all over eachother, just as the rest of the instruments come in, at like 0:15, they both smile into the kiss and shut the door behind them, and it cuts away :).

theyre finally together!!! theyre in the happy, honeymoon stage of realtionship. god theyre just fucking every. chance. they. get. i think this is a new season. it’s a montage of them hooking up all over hawkins.

in the back of the video store, robin covering for them. in the car, outside school, steves house. someone walks in and billy has to hang out of the window. he makes a noise and steves like “thats probably just a bird or something” and billy MAKES A BIRD NOISE TO THE BEST OF HIS ABILITY.

when steve helps him back inside he just stares a him with that “youre a moron but your my moron now” face. “~mimics the sound billy made~ really?” and then billy just laughs and goes back to hooking up with him.

theyre just HAPPY. theyre comfortble, theyre stupid idiots whod die for eachother and horny as fuck allllll the time, like young guys are. i just want a really lighthearted, NOT INNOCENT, but lighthearted tone to a whole montage of them just being happy and stupid together.

aaaaand we’re bassically at the end of the storyline i have for them based on music. these three i just like the thought of. i want steve do dance super shamelessly in his bedroom in a towel, not in a sexy way dont get me wrong he looks DUmb, and billys at his door window just admiring this stupid idiot dancing around. i cant believe im in love with this man this graceless lanky man i had to choose this one. but ill be damned if i wouldnt give my fucken life for him

and finally trust me go listen to any scorpions song its bassicaly a harrington anthem. it all started with rock you like a hurricain for me, i saw steve look at him, i saw billy and listened to the lyrics and just thought theres no god damned way this man is straight whats the bet hes into steve and then BAM same season hes just so obviously flirting with him constantly i-

anyway okay so

this song, like many other scorpion songs is allll about billy and steve in my opion. go have fun.

PlayerEntity made this gif not me all credit to them i just wanted to include it cause its my favorite edit of them ever.

and thats all!!! if youre seeing this and you thought it was cool thanks i had fun. i really just wanted to get this shit out of my brain its been up there since i was a fuckn 14 year old, now im 18 lol.

i love these men more than myself and sometimes i forget that theyre not acutally together in show cause i live so completely through fanfiction and the sequence of events you just read.

fuck why am i signing out like you just watched a youtube video or something i should just post this okay by now xxxxx

#harringrove #billy x steve #billy hargrove #steve harrington

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kngcity · 4 years

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okay, i’m currently watching the life is strange stream where they watch all the endings, and i feel like i need to air my thoughts a little. this is gonna end up as a fucking essay i just know it, so im sorry in advance

this contains spoilers by the way if you havent seen the endings yet or let alone played the game??+

when i first finished playing, i got the lone wolf ending and i absolutely loathed it. not because it was a badly produced ending, absolutely not, but because it was so.. surprising, and nothing like what i would expect when i chose to surrender after all that time and daniel refused. i’m pretty certain that most people played through (at least the first time), following your first moral instincts, yk? so i felt pretty bummed out when i ended up with what almost everyone is calling the worst possible ending. throughout the whole game i did everything i could to make daniel comfortable and happy, even though how stupid it seemed to me. it pains me a little to read those comments on how much they hate daniel, considering he’s nine years old when the game starts. NINE!!! the thought of daniel, this one time following his own instincts by disagreeing with his brother, ended up getting his brother killed, and i can’t imagine how it must feel for him growing up knowing that sean’s death is on his hands – and possibly his fathers as well as he grows up. considering he wasn’t aware of his powers in the first episode, it wouldn’t be fair to hold him accountable for it, but looking at his character and how easily he could blame himself for chris’ potential death/accident.... yeah

however, i’ve also seen a lot of people saying that they think redemption is the worst ending. and honestly, the second time i played through the game, i was desperate on getting this ending. why? because i still felt like surrendering was the morally right choice for me. i 100% agreed with david (who i’ve loved since i first saw him in the first game, but that’s for another time) when talking to him in the game; you can’t keep running away forever. i think the redemption is bittersweet. i think that’s the best word for me to describe it. i understand that a lot of people disagrees with me and my interpretation of both sean and daniel. having a younger brother myself, he’s six years old to be exact, i know that i would do absolutely everything for him. i would do 15 years in prison for him in a fucking heartbeat. from the perspective of an older sibling, i think surrendering would be the right choice from sean’s perspective as well. he knew that if he surrendered, daniel would be able to live a normal life – a life that he himself was robbed of. daniel was able to go back to live with family, graduate from school, what normal people do. sean giving up his own freedom in order for his brother to live a happy life is heartwarming to me, but it’s also heartbreaking knowing that his own life will never be the same again. their reunion in the end has this fine line between being beautiful and heartwrenching when they return to their camping spot, and how the roles changed from sean comforting daniel in the first game, to daniel comforting sean after all this time. of course, everything sean wanted to do in the beginning was to go to eric’s halloween party and woo jenn, him being taken away his teenage years is beyond unfair but then again a part of me doesn’t believe that sean regrets giving up his freedom for daniel in the end........feel free to change my mind

then you have both the parting ways ending and the blood brothers ending. i’ll go ahead with blood brothers first. i think both of these endings can be considered the better endings, in some way. in blood brothers, they get to be together. but at what cost? seeing this ending and having them be together made me incredibly happy at first, but me, being the over-analytical idiot that i usually am, can’t stop thinking about where does their story really end? they’re criminals in the united states, and they keep being criminals in mexico. if you ended up with this particular ending, i'm guessing it’s only realistic to see how daniel decided that following his brother’s footsteps was the right thing to do for him. i’m not saying that freedom and “obeying the rules and the laws of society” is the recipe to happiness, absolutely not. but... i don’t know. please help me see how this could be a good-good ending and not just a good ending because they get to stay together..

spotsuns wrote this on the blood brothers ending and i thought it was interesting

finally, parting ways. in this ending sean gets to be happy in puerto lobos with finn/cassidy/alone? whatever you chose in ep3, and daniel gets to live in beaver creek with their grandparents. the more i think about it, the more i believe this is the “right” ending, seeing how it was sean’s wish and idea from the beginning to travel there, and not daniel’s. sean even admitted to himself in episode 3 to finn i believe? that daniel doesn’t even want to go. i’m agreeing more with myself on how this could be the right right ending... to me, the significant purpose of the game was to do right by daniel. i loved how the game grasped the concept of being a helpless teenager who takes on the role of a guardian to a child – who has supernatural powers like telekinisis. it’s a challenge, that’s for sure, and it really questions your moral as a whole.

of course, the ideal ending would be them being able to be together and free in the us, or wherever they both want to be of course, but yeah.... i don’t know. i’ve been trying to sort out my thoughts for days, and to be honest it’s messing with my exams. ff u dontnod for releasing the last episode during exams!!11

anyway, please enlighten me if you have different interpretations of the different endings, or the game as a whole. i’m aware that everyone has different experiences and thoughts on the game, and i would absolutely love to hear them

#lis2 #life is strange 2 #sean diaz #daniel diaz #lone wolf #redemption #parting ways #blood brothers #wolf brothers #diaz brothers #kngcityedit #thoughts #dontnod

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hinasho · 5 years

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i havent even finished the episode yet but i 100% blame the others for vanya destroying the academy. none of this wouldve happened if reginald had been a better father & teacher, and had instead taught vanya how to control her powers rather than manipulating her into forgetting about them and eventually hating herself.

her siblings, as kids, played no role, but as adults? have to take responsibility too. allison hit it on the nose when she said they were adults now and it was time to make their own decisions and start over. other than allison, the other hargreaves kids still shunned vanya at every turn and treated her as tho she was the runt of the family. ffs luther locked her up after finding out about her power instead of just TALKING to her. and yeah the other siblings were clearly against it, but then they all just walk away with frowns on their faces when any one of them couldve walked/snuck back up that room and let vanya out. allowing her to explain herself. but instead, since they never really tried listening to her ever, they just thought it as a lost cause and gave up.

i really dont blame vanya for just Being Done with it all and letting loose. im sad she did it, and im upset about what she did to pogo but dammit this was kinda a long time coming tbh

#babbles #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy spoilers //#vanya hargreeves

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okaystraykids-blog · 5 years

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don’t go; it’s a mighty long fall

3 out of ??

Genre: fluff/angst/school ..

Seems like it’s going to turn out to be a hyunjin ff but we’ll see

WARNING: some mature themes

| the start of part 3 |

I arrived in the main room, and spotted Changbin and them. Sneakily I ducked to the side, suddenly finding myself in the kitchen. Wrong move, sadly. Lio was standing, surrounded by girls but when he saw me he handed them off to his friends, whispering something in one of the guys ears. The guy looked up at me, smirked, and left with his newfound girl. Lio was suddenly beside me, his hand on my waist, and he led me to the bar where he handed me a drink. I had never drank before, so I had no idea that my alcohol tolerance was low as hell.

I finished the drink without even realizing it, surprised by the fact it was so sweet and tasty. Lio handed me another, and then another, and then another, and before I knew it I could barely stand. I stumbled a bit, Lio casually moving his hand to my ass to "catch me". I was too weak to remove it. "I'm, I'm gonna go upstairs for a bit..." I murmured, clumsily heading up the steps. I walked down a long hall, until I found myself in a bedroom. Nauseated, I collapsed onto the bed. My eyes were just closing, when the door suddenly creaked open. It was Lio. He saw me lying there, his eyes trailing my sprawled body. He slightly closed the door. I tried to sit up, but my body betrayed me. "What, are you doing here." I spoke slurred, my head spinning. The bed creaked as he sat beside me, and he helped me sit up, handing me a glass with clear liquid. "It's water." I took the glass warily, taking a sip. My taste buds were shot so I couldn't tell what it was. But once I had finished all of it, he smirked and I knew he lied. He moved me to the back of the bed, propping my head on some pillows, my body was like dead weight. I knew what was going to happen but there was nothing I could do. I felt his hand rest on my thigh and I started to scream. Before the sound could even get out, Lio's mouth was pressed against mine. His moth was wet, his kisses were messy. "Shhh, quiet Ce, its okay. Just relax." He whispered. His mouth was almost immediately back on mine after that. My arms had started to gain strength back but his weight was too much. The door suddenly creaked, a figure appeared in the frame. Lio was either ignoring it or he was too high to care but suddenly he was thrown off of me. Hyunjin and Changbin were swinging punches and got him on the ground, and Jisung immediately appeared by me, pulling my falling skirt up and helping me stand. He looked confused and worried, I let out a gasp, falling against him. My head hurt. He held me I sobbed. "You're okay Alice, you're going to be okay." "What's your address?" "xxx-xxxx Ave..." They drove me home in silence, "Where are your parents?" "I uh, live alone." "Wait really? Damn... I didn't expect that." "Yeah they live out of town for work, and my siblings are all older." I hated it, I felt gross and I never want to go back to school. "D-didn't you guys drink?" I mumbled when Chan handed me a bottle of water. "I don't drink, I've learned I'm not someone who should have alcohol in their system... the others had a couple drinks but we weren't planning on getting wasted." I was fucking embarrassed as hell. I felt dirty and ugly and terrible and I couldn't look the guys in the eyes. When we pulled up to my house Changbin hopped out quickly to help me, he offered his arm and I flinched away from it. "It's fine, you guys can leave. Honestly." They glanced at each other and sighed. Chan nodded, "She's right boys. We've got to get to practice anyways." I smiled thankfully, and low key laughing to myself about his Aussie accent. But wait, practice? They have music and dance at this time? Well shit. I wobbly made my way into my house and immediately to the shower. I couldn't wait to sleep.

The whole weekend I felt terrible, I had so many unread messages from Changbin and snaps from Hyunjin. Monday morning, I opened the texts and sighed.

[Changbin]

hey a, you good? i havent heard from you all weekend. is school going okay?

[Me] hi, im ok. im just not up to talking lately. maybe soon.

CAPTION: practice with the boyz 👻🙏🏻

I put on leggings and a long sweater, did my eyebrows and brushed my hair. That was all I felt up to. I was dreading entering hell, I mean, school. I didn't know what to expect. Will my locker be covered in slurs written in marker? Will everyone stare at me when I walk through the hall? I left my house with a heavy heart, and stopped suddenly when I felt the rain pouring down. I ran back inside to check for an umbrella but of course my dumb ass doesn't own one. I braced myself for the rain when I heard a car horn. I peeked outside and saw the guys SUV. I didn't want to get in and spend time with them, but it would be a safe-haven from the rain. I was about to run to them when suddenly Hyunjin ran out of the car, opening an umbrella. He ran towards me and covered my head with the umbrella. "Th-Thank you." I awkwardly said, following him to the car. He opened the door and I climbed in, the only empty seat between Changbin and him. I stepped awkwardly over Changbin mumbling a "sorry" as I settled down. Hyunjin closed the door and went around and I rolled my eyes. Wow, sure give me the difficult way to get in. I sat in silence between them all the way to school and when we arrived I braced myself. "It'll be fine." Jisung said and I glanced at him. "How do you know?" "I just do." We stepped out of the car and Changbin and Hyunjin walked either side of me up to the doors. Lio and his crew were sitting on the steps and shot the guys and me the dirtiest look. His face was bruised and Chan told me he's been just saying he got into a big fight over the weekend.

When we entered the school. Nothing felt different. I looked at the four guys around me, saying thanks and before letting them speak, left for class. Hyunjin trailed me all the way and sat in his usual spot next to me. I looked at him more closely one we sat down and realized he was still wearing the same clothes that he sent the snapchat of them practicing in. It made me truly look at his face. Once you get past the shocking beauty you can see just how tired he truly is. He has dark circles and he's thin, almost too thin. I spoke up, my voice coming out raspy. "How, How are you, Hyunjin?" He looked up at me, surprised. "I'm fine. Why?" I shrugged, "You just look... tired." Hyunjin smiled lightly, "I am I guess. We all are. But if we want to go big we have to practice." I shook my head, "but practicing shouldn't hurt you. You guys are all so skinny and you look so tired." "I said I'm fine, Alice."

| the end of part 3 |

#3racha #3racha fanfic #stray kids #stray kids fanfic #chan #changbin #felix #jisung #woojin #hyunjin #minho #seungmin #9 or none #fanfic #kpop #kpop fanfic #stay dont stray

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 5 years

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Suspiria remake review from a shitty movie-goer

(this review is posted too late so excuse me for some timing inaccuracies I couldn’t be arsed to edit)

(IF YOU HATE TL;DRS JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE “THE REVIEW” PART. YOU’RE WELCOME)

I actually hate to admit why was I interested to watch this movie in the end, but for once SOMETHING motivated me to go to a movie after countless tries from my family to get me to watch something in theatres at a “reasonable time” (daytime is what they mean, this movie was at 8pm our time, and this is when the cross-city bus transport (it goes from one big city to another) stops doing their service lmao).

I myself have a lowkey interest in moviemaking (I’m already getting there by editing my phone-recorded videos because whatever). I come up with my concepts in my head and I am mostly willing to put them down somewhere in my computer so I don’t forget it years later if I want to make that concept a thing in the end (because none of my concepts are finalized... well except for one short horror-ish story I posted on DeviantArt (see mom, I do like some horror stuff!). Reddit as of lately inspired me to edit some of my movie’s plot-lines based on irl events (not related with anything too SJW), and I’m not sure how an usual movie-goer would see this concept but I am going to try to execute it... whenever I have enough equipment to shoot my own little films or skits or whatever.

What’s that? There are people who scrolled past this and already yell at me that “YOU ONLY WENT TO SEE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE OF THE MAN WHO COMPOSED THE SOUNDTRACK~~~”? Ugh yes you exposed me, tea all over. I even had “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” on a bit of a repeat as of lately (how fucking come I wasn’t too couragerous to listen to this song before?? And “Pyramid Song”??? Man am I discovering their pearl(ie)s(*) too late). And I’m occasionally on the band’s subreddit as well. And the man himself is touring ‘round the USA, signing material of fans and have genuinely warm chats with them. Admireable.

But that’s only half truth.

I never thought I’d see Suspiria on cinema theatres in here. Until one time when I saw an ad on a completely random Lithuanian website that said this movie is coming to our theatres 14 December... I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. I made my goal to see Suspiria since then. I even dared to ask a couple of my new college ‘friends’ to see it with me, but one of them fell off the deal when I revealed that I’ll be going to see it on Saturday, and on the weekends he’s usually at home, far away from the city the college is in (he lives in college dormitory on mostly the work-weekdays). So my only movie companion ended up to be this 28-year-old coursemate (actually we both study different things but sometimes we attend some of the same lectures) who was intrigued by the Suspiria trailer herself so at least I’m gonna have her by my side of the movie, so I thought. Sweet.

I already envisioned seeing this in a mall cinema theatre but my companion offered me a cheaper alternative - her suggested cinema theatre was actually in renovation so the business is temporarily happening inside an actual drama theatre’s long theatre hall. I had to wait long until the ticket box opened and because of that I was lowkey frustrated as I finished my English test writing a little earlier, so I spent my time walking around the city until the time came and I wandered off to the old building of the cinema so then I remembered it was moved and I found the moved place. Yeah I bought the tickets before my companion could but I’ll skip ahead to the time that I almost lost the tickets because they were put down on a windowsill outside some children activity centre (Suspiria and children?? lol). I came back home late at night and was ready for the movie to happen the next day. Oh and before buying the tickets I coincidentally saw dance classes going on nearby that building... weird, as Suspiria has dance elements in there

The day came (December 15) and my family went together with me because they saw this as an opportunity to see the Christmas tree of our city (but not the movie). Needless to say, they were still visibly pissed at me orchestrating this idea, as I planned everything BUT the transport to go by. Well at least my mom and my sis. Dad was cool with it as he returned home to watch Home Alone. Aside all that, the cinema hall was cozy, Christmassy, not too small, there were a few trailers before the movie, no snack-seller places (as this is not a mall lol) - my companion was glad she wasn't at the mall as she found this place where we were at way lovelier.

Now with all that unnecessary long intro off my chest, let’s begin:

THE REVIEW

(definitely not spoiler-free, if you are sensitive to spoilers please watch the movie for yourselves before reading my review. But if you like being spoiled, I’m your friend then I guess lmao)

The intro to the movie felt like I ended up booking a wrong movie - I didn't expect that to be set somewhere in Germany, especially an American/Italian-shot one. Was that a thing in the original Suspiria? I don't know... (apparently it is, but the cities are different, never the country though)

Patricia (I didn’t know it was Chloë Grace’s role until reading the Wiki) looked like to be a really big deal here, with the dance pupils discussing her disappearance the other day and Susie overheard them, then Sara mentioned the Patricia thing to Susie after Susie revealed she was kind of chosen as the lead dancer for the Volk play... is it because Patricia was THE saviour that unfortunately knew a little too much?? Idk, it’s perhaps the reason we get to see the Klemperer guy subplot happen (I didn’t know it was Tilda Swinton behind him all the time either, must be because the way the male German accent was put on her lol). Turned out she was captured and kept under some dungeon where Sara had gone later in the movie, but looking like an almost melted and grotesquely old human being (or if Mary’s mother from “Chocolate with Nuts” was a person). Speaking of which, there is one more later in the movie, but I won’t tell just yet - we will need to get into such scenes discussion first.

Interesting deaths here, despite of them being grotesque and horrifically detailed. It almost felt like Susie, whilst doing her first dance as the probable lead dancer, temporarily turned into Olga’s voodoo doll or a violent bloodbender (that old lady from Avatar that could bloodbend was incredibly uncanny, damn) and left Olga completely fucked up, and the foam mouth later on... is this the effect myxomatosis has on a human being if it was ever humanly? She was twitching and salivating afterall. :P But no, she’s not dead until she gets to plead her death later in the movie! :O Several others occur throughout, but none is more prominent than this key scene I described, well at least according to TV Tropes.

The search for the evil person in this movie without Wiki helping me much was definitely a nice game for me to play. I kept thinking that Blanc might be that one, then I thought she’s not the one until she looked at Carolina (I think that was the tall tomboy’s name??) suspiciously and then she later passed out on the floor violently, with rabies foam and everything.

Anyway, don’t tell me Tilda Swinton wouldn’t make out a pretty good Thom Yorke post-Pablo Honey. She’s 8 years older than him, ffs! Also played a man before (e.g.: this movie I’m talking about) so the make up won’t be an unjumpable-over hurdle.

The sighs were for sure unsettling, especially because they oddly sounded like orgasm here and there. IDK why. I know fucking is referenced twice in this movie (well only fucking once and sex another time). Speaking of random things, the nightmare shots were completely random themselves, following up with some imagery we never see in the movie again, and some of that we see only a little (like the worms and bloody organs).

3 long scenes that were note-worthy for me. One is the Olga mutilation/Susie's first dancing scene that I already noted, and it was driven by music (the others will be too. Soundtrack of this movie still rules). Then there's the Volk play itself - girls go from one place to another, take poses of each other, dance individually, let their minimalistic red rope dresses flick in the air, interspersed with Sara in the underneath area and her broken leg (so broken, the bone went out of her skin!), and then the matriarchy getting her back on stage, but healing her leg with her witch powers before that. I haven't really listened to the rest of the soundtrack but I gotta check the song out so that I won't end up labeling it as a Kid A reject. No but seriously - intense dancing needed some intense drumming and painful instrument sounds just to project out the massiveness of the whole play.

Then I keep remembering the scene where Madame Blanc commands Susie to jump higher and higher in the mirror hall, up until she jumps as highest as possible. Also my companion’s favourite scene was the stare exchange between these two ladies during the part where people were singing some drinking song in a bar to celebrate ‘Volk’’s success - you hear them singing and then some chilling background noise slowly mixing and creeping its way into the atmosphere, then I think it leads into a scene where some sparkling aura entity wakes Susie up (and she’s nude) in the middle of the night and gets her to go down to this... dungeon orgy full of random stuff going on, complete with an Asian man doing something beyond explanation (I could say lewd but not quite), even more strange ritual dancing and the very much frightening Madame Helga... who looked like Jabba the Hutt for some reason. And then of course everyone slitting, slashing and twisting each other, and by the end Susie throwing us all a plot twist which makes her THE evil one who can finally let her ‘friends’ go of all that suffering they have been through thanks to the damn witches (and yeah apparently her dance friends haven’t completely died? THAT’S how they do - they tell Susie to end their suffering and she does). Also she cracks her chest open to reveal a... very graphic part of a female body that will by no doubt get this whole text review reported without consent so I refrain from any illustrations. Oh and this scene mostly has the possibly favourite this movie’s soundtrack song of mine, if not one of them, play - titled Unmade. It was a mind-boggling decision to do so but the movie editors do them I suppose, but still. I felt sad for the song having to be the background of such absurd but fair enough events? (Oh and I didn’t mention that everyone who voted for the other woman than Madame Blanc to be the leader of the witches (iirc) were rid of in this movie. Damn.)

Oh and the ending is rather an interesting detail, not talking about post-credits because as always I have to be this one movie goer who wants to do it but can’t because they’re urged to go back out of the movie theater. We turn into modern day Germany with a love heart carved on a brick wall with the letters A and L (perhaps?? at the time of finishing this review my memory towards it kind of erased some parts of the movie for me), a nice little remembrance of Lutz’s (the old man’s) love for his dear Anke, with which they have reunited during the movie, but Lutz was dragged out by some people related to the dance academy for probably wandering elsewhere than needed and somehow Lutz ended up as one of the sex dungeon victims, stripped of clothing and lying down quite powerless. That and before the modern day shot we are subjected with Lutz in hospital with Susie coming to visit, they discuss something related to the plot, Susie touches the guy speaks some more, leaves and according to the Wiki, Lutz “suffers from a violent seizure” that was nothing more than just a hard seizure. And it even erases his memories!

Anyway, as a whole, I felt more underwhelmed of this movie’s experience despite really wanting to see it. Like, “uhm yeah gore blood people getting slashed everyone’s a witch and everyone’s watched over by the witch and if you expose the witches you die” kind of underwhelmed. I didn’t want this movie to blatantly go through my head, but it did, that’s why I wanted to make notes everytime something notable happens. There was one startling moment, and it just was an innocent scene transition. And something within Olga’s mutilation scene made me chuckle (and made some other people leave the cinema hall ASAP). It’s more of a disgusting watch than scary. Also feels too dragged out in parts.

I’d only recommend it if you are gore-tolerant (there are people that can’t stand looking at blood so this might as well not be for you, especially if you’re younger than 16), like intense choreos that can impact other people literally, and... the soundtrack. Yes of course. If you dare to get through the movie with feeling its soundtrack, sometimes you might as well feel it right, but some of the soundtrack song usages might as well make you go “hmm” as much as me.

I'll remind myself to never watch a movie in theaters for soundtrack again (unless they're not THAT late). And the other 'trilogy of the three witches' movie remakes, especially if they come out at the time I haven't moved houses by now, because for sure as hell will my parents not like me going to cinema late once more. The movie is lowkey 7 out of 10 for me, can sometimes it's on the verge of falling down to 6 becaude of no completely proper comprehension of some directing choices... so 6.7/10 is good - as it still has 6 in it, but totally leans on to the 7.

Will probably watch it again. I need to remember some more of this movie sometime later. And looking for online uploads of this movie is unrecommendable - I'll wait until Lionsgate distributes it to America for wider audiences so that anything could surface 2 months (or even a few days) later from now. Though if I didn't need all that, I'd definitely not watch it again for a long time... unfortunately I want to.

Post movie feelings: my companion liked the movie, initially said to never watch it again but now wants to watch it again because it was so "wtf" she felt like re-experiencing it at some point. She liked the music (another bonus point for Yorke). She wished she could film the reactions of other people who watched this, as they mostly were confused, all being like "wtf did I just watch???". I'm already feeling bad for the 3rd companion who didn't join us but would also like to watch this - he’ll likely be one of those confused movie-goers.

#suspiria #reviews from a shitty movie goer #lol :')#spoiler alert #tl;dr alert #this review's looooong overdue but f*ck it!#suspiria (2018)#there's a lot i might have missed?#movie review #review

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laracastrowrites · 6 years

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What problems did you have with the darklings arc in siege and storm?

Basically LB relying on the cheapest and laziest (and maybe the grossest too) tool in order to make him completely irredeemable, that is, relying on none other than violence against women to show how BadTM he is. Which doesnt put her too far apart from writers that uses female character’s suffering to further a male character’s arc (I’m just not that infuriating cause usually these male writers tend to use women’s suffering to further a redemption for the male counterpart, ignoring the victims, which I consider worse than what we got in here, that is, what I call, a downfall arc in which at least the victims are put in the main perspective, but I still consider she ultimately did the same with all the Genya’s torture case, using her suffering to push the Darkling far from redemption, so… I’m still pissed. And I wont ramble nor rant about Genya’s case yet, cause I’ll get there).

Look, at first, I hadnt seen the pattern and I came to realize that there was one just long after I finished reading all the grishaverse books (i mean, the trilogy and the duology), and sometimes I get angry at myself for not getting it fast enough and sometimes I get angry for finally get it, cause I was way happier (or less pissed, depending on the angle you look at) when I hadnt had this one more thing to be pissed about with this trilogy.

And I think ultimately, I (plus lots of people) haven’t seen any fault (and some still dont) in Genya’s torture at first because of the pattern the book followed for his character, cause once you see him attacking Alina with his nichevoya, threatening to torture her, and seeing that he blinded his own mother, it isnt like you doubt he was capable of torturing Genya like that; but the problem with Genya’s case doesnt rely on his capability of doing such a thing, the holes in that plot point relies on his (lack of) reasons for doing so (which I’ll get there in a minute), so we let it pass because of the shock and the sadness (all of us feeling sad for Genya, and other lot feeling sad for Genya and the Darkling simultaneously, cause that was the moment we knew there was no turning back for him) without realizing how problematic all of that was.

So, analyzing objectively his arc in s&s where his bad deeds are concerned, you will see that it was basically focused on torture; but not torture towards any elements we dont care about, it was torture against female characters we care about. Like I pinpointed in the last paragraph already: the nichevoya attack towards Alina, the threat to torture her in order to press Mal to find the amplifier; blinding his own mother as a punishment for betraying him; and last but not least (and the most problematic one), he disfigured Genya because………… because. Or should I say: because ?????

In Alina and Baghra’s case I can get behind cause the reasons were clear, and if we learned something about the Darkling in s&b is that he doesnt do bad shit because; because he felt like it or whatever; I’m not saying what he does/did is justifiable, I’m just saying that he always has his reasons, he always do bad things to gain something, in order to pursue a goal, to punish someone that wronged him etc., this is one of his established character’s traits; so he’s bad, we all know that, but sadism was never one of his character’s traits, and if what he did to Genya wasnt sadism, what was it then? A coercive tactic to win Alina over? But he had tortured Genya long before he knew he was going to meet her, Genya’s scars were already there for a time, so it doesnt add up, and besides, if it was a tactic to coerce her, wouldnt it be much more efficient if he had waited to meet Alina and threat to torture Genya right in front of her so she would join him, like he did to Alina herself in the boat to coerce Mal? Like, it doesnt make any sense, especially considering that Genya was a grisha, and a grisha loyal to him! He wouldnt simply do such a horrendous thing to a loyal grisha just to try to get Alina, he would know it was kind of sloppy and risky and he had already presented other tactics much more efficient; he would know that the threat to torture Genya or whomever in front of her would’ve been much more practical and efficient, he did that before and got positive results, so ??!?!?!?!? And the reason being just coercion wouldnt really explain him dispatching Genya, either.

So ok, if it wasnt coersion, it was a punishment then, right? A punishment would explain him doing this a while ago, it could explain him dismissing her too, cause whatever she did that “deserved” such a punishment meant that he wouldnt want a grisha like her beside him, correct? Which lead us to the question: a punishment for what? What could she possibly had done to wrong him so bad that made him take such an extreme action? Had he thought Genya had betrayed him? Cause that would explain, he wouldnt want a disloyal grisha beside him and certainly wouldnt let a betrayal pass unpunished, I mean, he didnt forgave even his mother, so… But the thing is: in any moment, the text back this theory up, the only passage we got that tries to explain the cause of such a violent act is Alina’s nonsensical thought that “Genya had dared to be her friend, to show her mercy” like, what does that even mean???? Like, she backtracks to the boat scene to explain, so what she’s saying is that the Darkling would have punished Genya for not shooting Alina or something??? Didnt she know that he needed her ALIVE and the situation in the boat could’ve gone wrong in many ways if Genya’d had try something crazy? And Genya “having mercy” on Alina and being her friend would never be reason enough to create such an outrage feeling in the Darkling so he’d find himself in a situation of having to punish a grisha that is on his side. Actually, I think he probably would’ve found a way to use Genya’s fondness of Alina in a much smarter way. So back to the boat scene, unless he thought Genya letting Alina go had been a betrayal (but like I said, it isnt like she had too many options there, and besides, what exactly the Darkling had seen and heard (IF he’d heard anything in that chaos, which I doubt he had) of that scene that played out between Alina, Genya and Tolya? DID he see something? Cause he had been shot in that moment, so I think even if he had seen something (which probably would’ve been just glimpses of it), he probably would’ve liked to know more about the situation, he probably would’ve liked to sit with Genya and interrogate her or something, he wouldnt have done anything rushed, neither punished a grisha that is on his side without the certainty that they “deserved” it), there’s still no plausible explanation for that torture.

But even if he’d thought Genya had betrayed him in any shape or form, he would’ve said it! I mean, yeah, he isnt like those that try to justify himself much (which I personally love it lmao), but I think he would’ve said it in that dismissive way of his, cause he makes sure to point out betrayal, like, always! Or if not through his words, at least LB’s text would’ve made sure to make this clear, or at least it SHOULD HAVE made sure to make this clear, but it havent! There is NOTHING that back this theory up, not in that final scene in s&s, not even in r&r (and at the time I started to analyze all of this more deeply, I read the boat scene and the final scene again just to make sure I wasnt missing anything). At first, despite the shock and heartbreaking, I felt that something wasnt adding up, but at the time, I let it pass cause I thought the full explanation would eventually come in r&r, but well, it never did. And the problem of not having a decent explanation for such an atrocious act is that it feels gratuitous, something that was put there just for shock value and to further the Darkling’s downfall, so ultimately, it feels completely unnecessary (and I dont think I need to explain how ProblematicTM it is to portray violence against women as shock value and gratuitous, right?) and on top of it, it plays as an inconsistency for the Darkling’s character so, in conclusion, gross. A Total Mess.

And to further the explanation on why his arc in s&s rotating in victimizing only women is bad, let me add that I know that the Darkling’s motivation in victimizing characters that happens to be women doesnt come from misogyny on his part or anything like that. We know that in that world, women and men fight side by side in wars, that women can make great warriors just like men, that women can have the same or even more power than men in the military and stuff, and in the Darkling’s mind, people are more separated between grishas x otkazatsya, and him victimizing a person that happens to be a woman isnt a gender based motive, but the thing is: art doesnt happen in a vacuum. His cruelty being directed towards female characters might not be a gender problem in that world, but in our world, it is. His arc in s&s is a little ProblematicTM not because of an “in narrative” problem (maybe just in Genya’s case, which I’ve just covered up), but more of an “outside narrative” problem; it’s problematic considering the damage that poor portrayal makes in our world, especially in Genya’s case, where we can consider something even ooc for him to had done, leading to the conclusion that that was completely unnecessary. And I dont blame the character for any of this, I dont think his arc in that book is as problematic as Mal’s, for instance, he was still the villain, so I dont get frustrated and angry with the character himself, exactly because I know all that was the author’s decision, that the responsibility was entirely hers; cause if your villain isnt a misogynistic peace of crap, why pick just female characters to be deeply victimized by him to further his monstrosity in a whole book, then? Was that necessary? Why not pick male characters, then? WHY NOT KILL MAL FFS? Wasnt there any other ways to do that? I say, of course there was, but considering our world morality and ethics standards, make him victimize women was just the easiest way out, and that’s why I say: lazy. Lazy writing at its finest. And I think I dont need to say how disrespectful to the Darkling and, especially, to Genya’s character that was, right? So well, that. All that. I hope I made myself clear, and that I havent forgotten anything.

Anyways, sorry not sorry for the huge text, I hope you read it till the end. Thanks for the ask anon, now bye cause I’ve already spoken too much!

#the darkling #tgt #the grisha trilogy #s&s #siege and storm #anon #ask #giiih this is fucking huge #sorry anon #hope you dont get tired #and dont give up on me #please #thanks

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sanshine · 3 years

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Ah well I guess I'm the final fantasy anon now lol

Very very true about ff boy's just something about them...sigh.......anyways valid with Ifrit though aojiemkfls definitely because he is more human like for sure lol (omg shiva in that game though <3 a queen)

Yeah I understand :) <3 just something about playing and discovering a new game by yourself is so fun and exciting (happened when I discovered tomb raider)!!!! It's probably smart to wait though lol I remember playing 8 when the remaster came out and the only thing I really liked about it was triple triad maoijdfmsl

Omg YESSSSSS Vincent in part 2 I'm so excited to see him!!!!!!! also you like assassin's creed too I'm just gonna die fjaoweisdm (REMEMBER THE ASSASSIN'S CREED FESTIVAL AHHHHH)

YES PLEASE continue being my ff anon please hjvbjdsbfvb

SHIVA IS A QUEEN IN EVERY GAME!!!! but they made her extra.... curvy in ff15 sdfvdsfvbjdsf i love her <3

omg yes i played tomb raider too!!! i actually played it with a different friend of mine years ago, one that had already finished the game and knew how it goes (coincidentally the same friend who's playing ff15 for me now fvbshdfbvbd) but thankfully he knew not to spoil the game for me uwu i've been wanting to replay the game again just never really got to it but i remember enjoying it very much <333

yeah so many people are obsessed with triple triad while i was there for the actual gameplay jhbvsdhbfv not that i mind the game lol i just dont see the hype?? not to mention how difficult it is to get some of the cards from what i heard like no thanks, not worth the effort jdfvbjsdfvb watch me try getting them all the next time i play the game

I DO LOVE ASSASSINS CREED BUT I MISSED THE FESTIVAL EVENT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 there's a ff15 collab in AC origins tho!! you probably knew about it hfdsbsdfv but yes thats very exciting!!!! i played ac2, ac brotherhood (never finshed tho oops), ac origins (never finished the story but pretty much finished the whoel game) and i have ac odyssey too but havent really started it hsfdvhdsf IM SO BAD AT PLAYNIG GAMES

#THE ATMOSPHERE OF AC2 IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOD THOOOOOOOOO #i love it sm the soundtrack the italian cities everything 😭😭😭#reply #anon

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signalwave · 7 years

Text

another long one whoops

tagged by: @kleiio and @gothicauntie

tagging: @krugekaz @sensuell @lazyteea @rosy-tea @elliewilliams @mountaindave @luvkiddo @spectrism @qvaithe @roseloves

rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag others!

the last

1. drink: whiskey lol i just got home from a friend and he and i went on a bender 2. phone call: nick (moi friend) 3. text message: uhhh i think it was some salty message to my ex that i sent this afternoon?? idk though 4. song you listened to: i was made for lovin you by KISS 5. time you cried: on monday ): 6. dated someone twice: lol nope i dont do leftovers 7. kissed someone and regretted it: ugh some dude when i was 16 was the last time i ever regretted it 8. been cheated on: last year how ugly 9. lost someone special: on monday 10. been depressed: since 2010 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: my birthday last year (i have a strong tolerance for alcohol my dudes it takes a lot to get me drunk)

3 favourite colours

12. seafoam 13. lavender 14. mint green

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: yep 16. fallen out of love: yes n it was Hard 17. laughed until you cried: ha ha ha yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: yes becos i know a lot of uglee ppl 19. met someone who changed you: no i havent changed in many years 20. found out who your friends are: yeah and im not very happy with the results 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: god probably i dont use facebook that much anymore too many ragrets

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 90% 23. do you have any pets: aye three guinea pigs 24. do you want to change your name: nah i think im good with jade

25. what did you do for your last birthday: someone threw a surprise party for me 26. what time did you wake up: 4pm lmao 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: playing dead island on xbox 28. name something you can’t wait for: saturday i might be going to rALLYCROSS 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago 31. what are you listening to right now: passing afternoon by iron and wine 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i knew like two or three of them 33. something that is getting on your nerves: my mothers boyfriend 34. most visited website: tumblr and youtube and ultimateguitar 35. hair colour: its like lilac with purple and a rosy pink 36. long or short hair: goes down past my shoulders so longish?? 37. do you have a crush on someone: um no but i wanna have one i miss crushing on ppl 38. what do you like about yourself: yo i have a great sense of style and music and shit so thats pretty cool. also tattoos and musical talent 39. piercings: nope 40. blood type: 0+ 41. nickname: people call me sammy or jadey 42. relationship status: single 43. zodiac: libra 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: game of thrones, supernatural, family guy, tosh.0 46. tattoos: three- a tree on my calf, the jackass logo on my forearm and the green day heart grenade from the american idiot album just above it 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: aye to have my appendix removed 50. sport: used to play softball and hockey. the gayest 51. vacation: various small coastal towns here in south africa 52. pair of trainers: ive got a pair of olympic international sneakers that i wear like all the time

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: i had fries earlier 54. drinking: soda 55. I’m about to: idk scroll through tumblr and watch some family guy and hope i can fall asleep tonight 56. waiting for: the world to change 57. want: the people that hired me to get their asses into gear so i can finish my job, also to start a band 58. get married: lol idk i gotta find someone willing to put up with me first 59. career: im a pro freelance photographer currently doing a gig for a major food franchise here in s.a

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: kisses 61. lips or eyes: lips 62. shorter or taller: height doesnt matter?? 63. older or younger: as long as its legal lol 64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms 65. hook up or relationship: relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: erm both have their pros and cons idk

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: aye 68. drank hard liquor: aye 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: YES 70. turned someone down: yes tons 71. sex on the first date: coughs not a chance 72. broken someone’s heart: i hope not 73. had your heart broken: ff yes 74. been arrested: HAHA nearly 75. cried when someone died: aye 76. fallen for a friend: unfortunately yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: ha no 78. miracles: nah 79. love at first sight: aye 80. santa claus: santa claus is terrifying 81. kiss on the first date: aye if it feels right 82. angels: erm unigjfknb

OTHER:

84. eye colour: hazel green 85. favourite movie: all of wes andersons’ films, though bottle rocket was slightly offkey

#obvs dont have to do this #just ignore if it annoys you lol #love u #me

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