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creatingblackcharacters · 5 months

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"Let's Have a Talk, First"- Stereotypes, pt 1

Come sit down. You and I, before we get into any of the things I'm sure you're impatient to know: we need to have a come to Jesus talk, first.

There are some things that I've been asked and seen that strengthens my belief that we need to have a reframing of the conversation on stereotypes in media away from something as simple as "how do I find the checklist of stereotypes to avoid". Because race- and therefore racial stereotypes- is a complex construct! Stands to reason then, that seeing, understanding, and avoiding it won't be that simple! I'm going to give you a couple pointers to (hopefully) help you rethink your approach to this topic, and therefore how to apply it when you're writing Black characters- and even when thinking about Black people!

Point #1: DEVELOP THE CHARACTER!! WRITE!!

Excuse my crude language, but let me be blunt: Black people- and therefore Black characters- will get angry at things, and occasionally make bad choices in the heat of the moment. Some of us like to fuck real nasty, some might be dominant in the bedroom, they may even be incredibly experienced! Others of us succumb to circumstance and make poor decisions that lead to crime.

None of those things inherently makes any of us angry Black women and threatening Black men, Jezebels and BBC Mandingos, and gangsters and thugs!

Black people are PEOPLE! Write us as such!

If all Black characters ever did was go outside, say "hi neighbor!" and walk back in the house, we'd be as boring as racist fans often accuse.

I say this because I feel I've seen advice that I feel makes people think writing a Black character that… Emotes negatively, or gets hurt by life and circumstance, or really enjoys hard sex, or really any scenario where they might "look bad" is the issue. I can tell many people think "well if I write that, then it's a stereotype" and to avoid the difficulty, they'll probably end up writing a flat Black character or not writing them at all. Or- and I've seen this too- they'll overcompensate in the other direction, which reveals that they 'wrote a different sort of Black person!' and it comes off just as awkwardly because it means you think that the Black people that do these things are 'bad'. And I hate that, because we're capable of depth, nuance, good, evil, adventure, world domination, all of it!

My point is, if you write your character like the human being they are, while taking care to recognize that you as the writer are not buying into stereotypes with your OWN messaging, you're fine. We have emotions, we have motivations and goals, we make decisions, and we make mistakes, just like anybody else. Write that! Develop your character!

POINT #2: YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE READERS!!

Okay. You can write the GREATEST Black character ever, full of depth, love, nuance, emotional range, all those things…. And people are still going to be racist about them. Sorry. There is absolutely nothing you can do to control a reader coming from that place of bias you sought to avoid. If it's not there, TRUST AND BELIEVE, it'll be projected onto them.

That passionate young Black woman who told the MC to get her head out of her ass? Yeah she's an angry Black bitch now, and bully to the sweet white MC. Maybe a lesbian mommy figure if they like her enough to "redeem" her. That Black gay male lead that treats his partner like he worships the ground he walks on? Yeah he's an abusive thug that needs to die now because he disagreed One Time with his white partner. That Black trans woman who happened to be competing against the white MC, in a story where the white MC makes comparable choices? Ohhhh they're gonna be VILE about that poor woman.

It really hurts- most especially as a Black fan and writer- knowing that you have something amazing to offer (as a person and creative) and people are gonna spit on that and call it "preference". That they can project themselves onto white characters no matter what, but if you project your experiences onto black characters, it's "pandering", "self insert", "woke", "annoying", "boring", and other foul things we've all gotten comments of.

But expect that it's gonna happen when you write a Black character, again, especially if you're a Black writer. If you're not Black, it won't hurt as personally, but it will probably come as a shock when you put so much effort in to create a lovely character and people are just ass about them. Unfortunately, that is the climate of fandom we currently exist in.

My favorite example is of Louis De Pointe Du Lac from AMC's Interview With The Vampire. Louis is actually one of the best depictions of the existential horror that is being Black in a racist White world I have ever seen written by mostly nonblack people. It was timeless; I related to every single source of racist pain he experienced.

People were HORRIFIC about Louis.

It didn't matter that he was well written and what he symbolized; many white viewers did NOT LIKE this man. There's a level of empathy and understanding that Black characters in particular don't receive in comparison to white counterparts, and that's due to many of those stereotypes and systemic biases I'm going to talk about.

My point is, recognize that while yes, you as the author have a duty to write a character thoughtfully as you can, it's not going to stop the response of the ignorant. Writing seeking to get everyone to understand what you were trying to do… Sisyphean effort. It's better to focus on knowing that YOU wrote something good, that YOU did not write the stereotype that those people are determined to see.

POINT #3: WHY is something a stereotype?

While there are lists of stereotypes against Black people in media and life that can be found, I would appreciate if people stopped approaching it as just a list of things you can check off to avoid. You can know what the stereotypes are, sure, but if you don't understand WHY they're a problem and how they play into perception of us, you'll either end up writing a flat character trying to avoid that list, or you're going to write other things related to that stereotype because "oh its not item #1"... and it'll still be racist.

For example: if you wrote a "sassy Black woman" that does a z formation neck rotation just because a store manager asked her something… that's probably stereotype. If you thought of a character that needed to be "loudmouthed", "sassy", and "strong" and a dark-skinned black woman was automatically what fit the profile in your mind, ding ding ding! THAT'S where you need to catch your racist biases.

But a dark-skinned Black woman character cursing out a store manager because she's had a really bad, stressful day and their attitude towards her pushed her over the edge may be in the wrong, but she's not an "angry Black woman". She's a Black woman that's angry! And if you wrote the day she had to be as bad as would drive anyone to overstimulation and anxiety, the blow up will make sense! The development and writing behind her led to this logical point (which connects to point #1!)

I'm not going to provide a truly exhaustive list of Black stereotypes in media because that would ACTUALLY be worth a college credited class and I do this for free lmao. But I am going to provide some classic examples that can get y'all started on your own research.

POINT #4: WATCH BLACK NARRATIVES!

As always, I'm gonna push supporting Black creators, because that's the best way to see the range of what you'd like. You want to see Black villains? We got those! Black heroes? Black antiheroes? Assholes, lovers, comedians, depressed, criminals, kings, and more? They exist! You can get inspired by watching those movies and reading those books, see how WE depict us!

I've seen mixed reviews on it, BUT- I personally really enjoyed Swarm, because it was one of the first times I'd ever seen that "unhinged obsessed murderous Black fan girl" concept. Tumblr usually loves that shit lmao. Even the "bites you bites you bites you [thing I love]" thing was there. And she liked girls, too. Just saying. I thought it was a fun idea that I'd love to see more of. Y'all gotta give us a chance to be in these roles, to tell these tales. We can do it too, and you'd enjoy it if you tried to understand it!

POINT#5: You are NOT Black!

This is obvious lmao, but if you're not Black, there's no need to pretend. There's no need to think "oh well I have to get a 100% perfect depiction of the Black person's mind". That's… That's gonna look cringe, at its best. You don't have to do that in order to avoid stereotypes. You're not going to be able to catch every nuance because it's not your lived experience, nor is it the societally enforced culture. Just… Do what you can, and if you feel like it's coming off hokey… Maybe consider if you want to continue this way lol. If you know of any Black beta readers or sensitivity reviewers, that'd be a good time to check in!

For example, if your Black character is talking about "what's good my homie" and there's absolutely no reason for him to be speaking that way other than to indicate that he's Black… 😬 I can't stop you but… Are you sure?

An egregious example of a TERRIBLE way to write a Black character is the "What If: Miles Morales/Thor" comic. I want to emphasize the lack of good Black character design involved in some of these PROFESSIONAL art spaces, because that MARVEL comic PASSED QA!! That comic went past NUMEROUS sets of eyes and was APPROVED!! IT GOT RELEASED!! NO ONE STOPPED IT!!

I'm sorry, it was just so racist-ly bad that it was hilarious. Like you couldn't make that shit up.

Anyway, unfortunately that's how some of y'all sound trying to write AAVE. I promise that we speak the Queen's English too lmao. If you're worried you won't get it right, just use the standard form of English. It's fine! Personally, I'd much rather you do that than try to 'decode AAVE' if you don't know how to use it.

My point is, if you're actively "forcing" yourself to "think Black"… maybe you need to stand down and reconsider your approach lmao. This is why understanding the stereotypes and social environment behind them will help you write better, because you can incorporate that Blackness- without having to verbally "emphasize how Black this is"- into their character, motivations, and actions.

Conclusion

We need to reconsider how we approach the concepts of stereotypes when writing our Black characters. The goal is not to cross off a checklist of things to avoid per se, but to understand WHY we have to develop our Black characters well enough to avoid incorporating them into our writing. Give your Black characters substance- we're human beings! We have motivations and fears and desires! We're not perfect, but we're not inherently flawed because of our race. That's what makes the difference!

And as always, and really in particular for this topic, it's the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!

#creatingblackcharacters #character design #black characters #black character design #black culture #stereotypes #antiblackness

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tennessoui · 11 months

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You're a wonderful writer, you deserve all the treats! 🎃🍭🍬🍫🍦🧁✨

awww thank you so much 🥹🥹

it is no longer halloween but i have a couple of trick or treat asks that i didn't get to cause my time management leaves a lot to be desired & little time to desire it lol so to spare people's dashes but to not leave anyone in the wind, i'm gonna respond to all of them in one long post :D (this one)

see beneath the cut!! you guys did great there were like almost no repeats even though there statistically probably should have been???

🍬🍬 hello thank you 🧡

i already answered a kuwsk one, so for roadtrip au....

here is a little drabble from an upcoming scene in the roadtrip au (squick tag:a/b/o):

Obi-Wan narrows his eyes in his direction. "What's wrong, Anakin?" "Nothing," he says. Shit, that came out too fast. Obi-Wan's eyes narrow further, like he agrees. "You've been acting strangely all day," the love of his life says. "You didn't even say anything when I pointed out the pancake house for breakfast. You didn't even say anything when I got a cinnamon roll at the coffee shop!" "You had two servings of vegetables yesterday," Anakin mumbles, placing both hands on the wheel and looking at the road. Maybe if he pretends this stretch of flat wasteland road in front of him is the most interesting thing in the world and requires his entire concentration, Obi-Wan will drop the subject. Obi-Wan does not seem to pick up on this. He scoffs instead, and crosses his arms. "When has that ever been enough to you? Since this entire thing started?" "Obi-Wan--" "And we've been listening to my podcast for the past two hours!And you haven't mentioned it once!" "Fine," Anakin snaps, tightening his hands and then loosening his grip with effort. "Fine, congratulations. Yeah, something's wrong. I'm working through it though, okay?" On his side of the car, Obi-Wan draws himself up, and then seemingly shrinks himself down a moment later. "Is--" his hand falls onto Anakin's arm before it drops away. "Is this...because of the other night?" Anakin's jaw clenches. Them having sex hasn't just been kept to the other night. They fucked their way through all of North Dakota and Montana over the course of the last two days. But sure, the other night. "No." "Because if it is--" the omega's voice is timid and it makes Anakin's chest hurt. "You're not wearing my clothes," Anakin blurts out. "You smell different and I hate it and I know it's stupid and weird and some Dark Ages Alpha bullshit, but you need to be wearing my shirt or I'm going to fucking lose my mind, Obi-Wan." The words draw Obi-Wan up short. Anakin cuts his eyes to the side and he can see his omega's mouth hanging slightly open. Anakin taps his tongue against the back of his teeth. Great, now he sounds like some insane micro-managing lunatic. "And I think I'm going into rut." Now he sounds like a horny micromanaging lunatic. Perfect.

👻 ahh trick or treat for the naughtiest au that deserves NO treats!! 🧡

some nasty info on the cheating au i haven't talked about like. all their flying lessons. when obi-wan and anakin start fucking (before they're in love with each other), obi-wan devises a plan to get anakin alone more often so they can fuck on the weekends and not just at their places of work lol. it involves complaining to padmé about needing to really learn how to fly now that his uh valet has retired. he can't get a new one. no, that's not an option. so does padmé know anyone who flies very well and would be down to perhaps teaching him in their free time?

and padmé is like oh i do actually! my husband anakin is a very good flier. would you like me to connect you two? he came with me to your party.

and obi-wan is like i think i remember him :> he would be...available?

and anakin is guilty but very available

so they mostly spend all their flying lessons fucking in the cock pit because obi-wan's been able to fly since he was a kid. padmé learns about this either after the very end where she finds out about their affair, OR she learns about it in the lead up to the very end where she's feeling very suspicious but she's been ignoring it for THIS long so.....

🧛‍♀️🦇

trick or treat 🧡

twilight au 🧡

a headcanon for the twilight au! obi-wan's biggest pet peeve with anakin is that he absolutely hates being guided or directed in any way. he fights just to fight and obi-wan enjoys putting him in place but it would be fucking easier if anakin didn't spend so much time arguing over like. how many vegetables he should have a day. and how much water he needs to drink. obi-wan is a licensed doctor like 36 times over for fuck's sake.

anakin's biggest pet peeve is obi-wan constantly tries to mind trick him to see if his immunity will falter or fail. anakin's like for the love of god obi-wan im not a science experiment, jesus christ--'

and obi-wan hisses (cause vampire), and obi-wan's like 'you can't tell me you didn't just want to see if that was just a vampire myth'

assholes to each other <3 for eternity <3

😈 trick or treat 👽

omg smithsonian au......you know what they do for halloween, these two fuckers?? padmé invites everyone over to her (very fancy apartment) for pumpkin carving and obi-wan and anakin are so fucking annoying. they turn into a competition about who can carve the best pumpkin. obi-wan calls anakin's first attempt (a cat face) lowbrow (obi-wan carved a jellyfish), and anakin throws pumpkin guts into obi-wan's hair (he's a ginger, no one will even be able to tell!)

it goes on and on until padmé dismisses them from her apartment because it's either that or carve into anakin and obi-wan.

after getting kicked out of pumpkin carving they accidentally go on a romantic autumnal walk. they stop at a street light and anakin picks pumpkin guts out of obi-wan's hair.

it makes them feel so many things they're not mature enough to talk about

trick or treat! 🎃😸

oh ho ho the cult au! that doesn't even have a tag! (but basically it's an au where jedi obi-wan is tasked with investigating a Force adjacent cult on the desert planet Tatooine, and it's anakin obviously who is so powerful in the force he's made a whole cult out of it and sets his sights on obi-wan as his forever partner)

here is a 3 line drabble!

The boy's head tilts, and his eyes are heavy, piercing gold. They pin Obi-Wan in place even from across the room. It is immediately completely obvious who among the people in this room has influenced the Force. Even though the boy could not be more than twenty, his entire presence radiates pure power. Obi-Wan has never felt a Force signature so aggressive, so strong. For the first time since he heard the rumors, since the Council handed him the file for this mission, Obi-Wan can believe that there is a Child of The Force on this desert planet. A demi-god, whose attention can change futures, destinies-- "Approach," the boy commands, extending a hand out over the empty space surrounding him. "Obi-Wan Kenobi."

trick or treat 👽🎃

hello hello the selkie au <3

here is a bit of background thought on the selkie au! one of the things i include in most fics/characterizations of anakin is that he's a pretty one partner for life kind of person (in that he married padmé after being obsessed with her forever in canon, and one of my favorite fanons is that his very first crush/sexual awakening was obi-wan and then he would have totally married obi-wan if obi-wan was a bit different character)

but in selkie au, anakin has a very long history of dating/trying to fall in love, which is like pretty unique in my writing!

and obi-wan probably has like only a few partners he's been head over heels with, and he falls really hard for anakin which makes their (temporary) break up so much harder for him personally

trick or treat ! 😈

and omg for the space actors au??? ok ok

so obi-wan and anakin are in a holo film where they have to be jedi which will mean very serious research

and they absolutely go to the jedi temple and fuck in like a few sacred places, but tbh so many other jedi have also fucked there so that it's no big deal......even if they get caught.....and even if the make-up department has to spend a small fortune covering up their hickies they somehow got on a "research trip"

(the holonet runs a scandalous article about which jedi broke their vows of celibacy and slept with famed actor anakin skywalker?)

(obi-wan is offended that his handiwork is not recognized)

(the jedi order has to put out a statement to say that actually there are no enforced vows of celibacy though jedi may choose to follow whichever personal vows they would like)

(and if a jedi slept with anakin skywalker, the jedi council has decided they do not want to know. or hear about it anymore. thank you.)

🎃 trick or treat 🦇

i actually got asked for lslm 3 more times after you sent this in, but you were the first to ask after lslm so congrats on beating the crowd haha

ok sooooo here's a bit of the new chapter (remember, anakin's discovered that padmé has a golden wolf's mask in her luggage, what the council's intelligence has said is what the traitor will be wearing):

Padmé's eyes are unreadable when she looks back up at him. He’s been compromised. Fucking stars. He’s been compromised within the first five minutes of his mission. The enemy—the alpha in the golden wolf’s mask—she knows he is lying, she knows who he is, and she’s dangerous. She’s dangerous, and Obi-Wan is here. Anakin can feel his shoulders straightening at the reminder. Obi-Wan is here, sharing the same air as Amidala, the woman who now knows too much. If Anakin is compromised, it will only be a few minutes before Obi-Wan is compromised as well. Obi-Wan will not be threatened on this mission. Anakin will not allow it, even if it means silencing Amidala himself. She had shown him kindness and compassion when he had been nothing but a slave. And then again when he had been nothing but a boy crying out for his master. But it seems she’s forgotten what loyalty is. Anakin can remind her. But before he can step forward into her personal space, slip control of his pheromones so that all she can smell is willing omega, tease her fingers before interlacing them with his own and pulling her out of the entrance room into a more private location—before he can take the first step towards extinguishing this threat to his alpha’s safety, someone touches Padmé’s bare shoulder.

trick or treat!! 🎃👻

a fish hook, an open eye--what a fic, thank you for sending this and therefore reminding me of it lol 🧡

hm quick head canon for this fic is....anakin actually honestly makes obi-wan a better person and sorta saves the galaxy. see, he would have stopped at nothing to take down the jedi order, but then anakin comes into his life and all his priorities sort of change.

mostly cause anakin doesn't really care about ruling the galaxy. he's very family focused (thanks, obi-wan) and he wants his family to be safe and hidden -- probably because a lot of sidious' initial teaching enforced in him that safe = hidden

and obi-wan...he doesn't actually want to give up his dreams and he would sure love to see the jedi die for no other reason than they're stingy about who gets to use the Force or whatever, but....he likes the family he has with anakin. he could be content with setting up an empire in the outer rim. he doesn't need galactic wide conquest. he's already conquered the bestest part of the galaxy (anakin)

cody is going to be sick. this is disgusting, and the thought that obi-wan and anakin actually make each other better is too awful to even consider. straight lies and deception.

🧛‍♀️🍬 trick or treat!!! 😈

oooo time traveler ahsoka au!

here is a drabble for time traveling ahsoka au during one of the re-dos (specifically, the one where obi-wan is duke of mandalore and anakin is a Jedi General married to Senator Amidala and they respect their duties at the cost of their almost love):

Even though Ahsoka had not screamed along with Anakin when she'd seen Obi-Wan's body struck by droid-fire---she could not, she had no body, just another thing to add to the long list of things she'd given up for this, for the galaxy---her throat feels raw, as if she has been sobbing for hours the way her master has been, seated slumped over in the chair next to the Duke of Mandalore's cot. Anakin is quiet now, though every so often a fresh tear will roll down his reddened cheek as he sits silently, hand clutching Obi-Wan's own. A part of Ahsoka is screaming at her to reset this scenario. Obviously, these two souls are as entangled together as their fingers currently are. But it would be cruel. Wouldn't it? To end this run now, when Obi-Wan and Anakin are so recently wounded? And they have been so reasonable up until this moment. They have been cordial, respectful---friends, brothers in arms. Obi-Wan has almost died. Surely, Anakin is allowed to mourn. Surely if Ahsoka existed in this scenario, if she were Anakin's padawan and she'd be struck down, he would sit at her bedside and cry over her sleeping form. Right? It takes three tries for the words to pass Anakin's lips, and when he does finally speak, Ahsoka can barely understand him. He has pressed his mouth to the back of Obi-Wan's hand. "Never again," he mumbles against the duke's skin. "You do not belong here, and I would--I would tear my heart out and leave it for safekeeping on Mandalore before I would watch you take on blaster fire again." Ahsoka's mouth opens, spell words meant to reset the circumstances on her tongue. It sounds like a love confession, and she knows that those such things are to be avoided. Her mind begins to race. A new scenario---this time, she will keep them apart forever---this time, they will never meet, and the galaxy will--- "When you wake," Anakin's voice derails her thoughts and holds her tongue. "I will send you back to your wife. And it will be the end. It will--it is time. To end." Ahsoka's mouth closes. The words evaporate. Her chest tightens, and though this should feel as if she's dodged a blaster shot, it feels like she's been hit.

trick or treat 🍬🧡

i gave a little drabble of the couples counseling au for the last trick or treating ask re: couples counseling au so i'm gonna give just a bit of a headcanon this time!

in couples counseling au, the jedi council absolutely knows that they're seeing a couples therapist who specializes in married partners 💙 probably a few of them think that anakin and obi-wan know that as well, but most of them are like. well. they'll figure it out right? some of it may be applicable? they're definitely better than how they were a month ago so, no harm no foul etc etc

#asks #obikin #ask haul #trick or treat ask game #roadtrip au #cheating au #couples counseling au #time traveler ahsoka au #lslm #selkie au #smithsonian au #twilight au #thank you all so much for sending these in im sorry i missed the end of the holiday!!#it was really fun !!! happy virtual halloween haha <3 #i saw someone else do this for asks and i thought it made sense

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starofhisheart · 11 months

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MAJOR SPOILERS FOR OFMD S2 EP6-7 under the cut

Ok, that was A LOT. I have so many feelings but no coherence so i'm gonna do this bullet point form but def not in order, just in order of me remembering wtf happened lol

-IZZY AND WEE JOHN IN DRAG!!!!! Wee John looked STUNNING with that Divine-esque appearance and Izzy had that transmasc drag king kind of thing going on (iykyk) that made me love him even more

-Izzy singing LA VI EN ROSE took me tf out!!! i'm glad he got to finish it after the *ahem* distractions bc Con's voice is so beautiful I could listen to it forever. We better get it in the album!!! Also someone posted the lyrics translated and i cannot get over the lyrics:

"It's him for me,/And me for him, for life/He told me, he swore to me, for life"

-But not only was he singing the second half had fucking gentlebeard doing the dirty in the next room asdfghjkl which.....was hot, ngl. The passion was electrifying. I'm sorta glad we didnt rlly see it with everything that happened after bc it all kinda left a bad taste in my mouth.

Also Stede Bonnet canonically gets turned on by violence confirmed

Or trauma. Whatever.

-What else happened in ep 6 cause all i can think of is drag and singing and sex-

-oh yeah there was that shortlived sexually-charged torturer who i distinctly recall him being in another scene in the promo so unless that got the cut perhaps he's not dead...?

-Lupete missing all the action cause they were doing the nasty all night lmao so real

-Jim best wingman (gender neutral)

-Stede...Stedey boy, can I call u that? Now i'm gonna say this nicely, but WHAT THE FUCK DUDE? Stede in his white guy w undue confidence era fr. Zheng Yi Sao was so right for what she did truly

-But in all seriousness i feel like this whole thing in ep 7 was such a parallel to s1 but also a very necessary bit of conflict in their journey together that was bound to happen. THey want different things and neither is wrong or right for that. Stede did react poorly tho but like he just had sex w the love of his life, his first man, and Ed the very next day is like "aight i'm out". I'd be pissed too. After killing someone which we know is a big trigger for him historically.

But Ed also had a valid reaction. He's wanted to retire for a while and stede knows this but it hasn't seemed to have sunk in quite yet. He fears that Stede only sees Blackbeard and...its fair of him to have that impression tbh. These are two messy, traumatized dudes who have never had a real relationship and there's gonna be bumps. I hope we get s3 so we can better explore that like Djenks wants.

-Ok back to the fun stuff:

-Izzy barging in on GB and the docking joke. love his cringefail ass.

-IZZY IS HAPPY FOR ED EVEN IF ITS NOT WITH HIM

#growth

-the edizzy apology which was so typical of them. i expected it but bc i'd been building it up in my head all week w twitter pals it felt a bit anticlimactic but thats not the shows fault. it was very much in character and if they're satisfied so am i. i always have fic for more

-stizzy commiserating over losing ed pls thats all i've ever wanted!!!!!

izzy: "when i told him i loved him he-"

stede, like he's heard this story before: "shot u yes"

and the look they gave each other after!!!!! stizzy nation how we feelin?!

-izzy being like "stede no" when he was on his macho bullshit w zheng yi sao (also motivated by trauma bc he just lost ed, he cant lose MORE family!!!). i just like how protective iz seems of stede now.

-izzy''s "you're good for him" CRYING THROWING UP ETCETERA

-ed catching 1 fish and deciding thats his life now. adhd realness fr

-the swede whew is it hot in here or is that just jackie's effect on her husbands?

-jackie and ed actin like old friends. swede highkey shading ed adfghjkl

-anyway im sure there's more but i need to rewatch. there r things i wont go into bc its possible spoilers for the finale (tho its mostly just speculation some is based on bts not everyone may have seen). i am looking forward to and terrified for the show to end next week thats all i'll say

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers

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squarebracketsmileyface · 9 months

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Hi, I keep coming back, but I got another song for you!! Life After Salem by Lil Nas X is so Jay to Alex, but you can even squeeze some Tim in there too!!

NEW SONG WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Okay you know the drill, shitty lyric analysis under the thingy so its all neat and tidy before BAM me spewing a bunch of bullshit about my favorite lil guys. Also this one goes off the rails cos i just finished it with a massive fuck off migraine, so it starts out all detailed then becomes "yes song good good" pretty much lol

You're so right tho, this song is so Jay and Alex.

All of my feelings are gone I left 'em all on the floor Man, who's to blame if you don't love me no more? No, I don't mind, just take whatever you want

Shocker, Alex and Jay singing a duet.

To me the first two lines would be sung by Jay about him hiding his feelings for Alex back in college/uni, pretending he didn't like him or want to be in a relationship with him (beyond just their FWB relationship), pretending he wasn't in love with Alex for years despite knowing that he absolutely was. Probably those lines would be sung by Jay to Alex about their time in College, explaining what he tried to do with his feelings: "I left 'em all on the floor". Those lines would also probably be sung, like, after Alex has said all those nasty things to Jay in the kitchen? Somewhere around then. This is like a song for if they ever actually fucking talked to each other properly lmao.

The next line would be Alex's response, a sort of manipulative way of saying he understands why Jay doesn't trust him anymore, that he understands what he did and why it was cruel. But in that kinda "oh woe is me I'm just the worst" kinda way, yknow? Trying to make Jay go "no, you're not the worst, you're not evil, you just didn't think it's okay!" and give Alex another chance. There'd definitely be a certain level of sincerity as well though, because Alex really does realize that he was pretty damn shitty to Jay. He wants Jay not to love him anymore. He needs Jay not to love him anymore.

Then the last line is kinda both of them, but in different ways, like they'd sing it together but with completely different tones and it'd be so obvious that they're talking about different things. For Jay "No, I don't mind, just take whatever you want" is about how Alex just kinda took and took and took from him throughout their relationship, but it'd also be a kinda, like, good tone? Like Jay's convinced himself that he genuinely doesn't mind how much Alex has taken from him, he kind of likes the fact that he could give Alex that control over him etc? For Alex "No, I don't mind, just take whatever you want" would be a lot more bitter, he feels like Jay is the unreasonable one who just keep's taking, because he's taken Alex's heart (lmao cringe) and Alex was not ready to give it away to him.

Why don't you just take what you want from me? I think you should take what you want and leave Why don't you just take what you want from me? I think you should take what you want and leave

Alex. He wants Jay to have basically everything he's wanted out of their relationship just before he leaves and Alex makes sure that they don't see each other again. Jay gets to kiss Alex, they have sex in a bed, Jay sleeps over, they have breakfast together, etc.

(It is another day now and I have a headache. Thinking is hard, the rest of this is probably gonna be a mess im sorry lol.)

What you want from me? Yeah What you want from me? Yeah

Then just Jay not really knowing why Alex has changed and why he's doing all these nice things for him, so he's just sitting there trying to figure out what Alex wants from him in return for all these nice things. (the answer to that being: alex wants him heartbroken enough to save himself)

Get yourself an Adderall Then throw me up against the wall And kick me when I have to crawl Ooh, I love it when you show no love at all You know I can be your part-time lover Our scars, they'll dance with each other I can be your part-time lover Our scars, they'll dance with each other

Okay, hear me out, this bit's about their dynamic, shocker... even tho it makes it sound a lot more toxic and abusive than it actually was. They were both mostly happy with the dynamic and neither were trying to hurt each other. They just both kinda wanted it to be a romantic relationship when it wasn't, but Alex was scared of that, and Jay wasn't gonna push it for fear of losing what he already had so far. And he'd rather have that than nothing.

"Ooh, I love it when you show no love at all" at first i thought this bit would be Jay, but now that i think about it, it's Alex to me. He liked it when Jay didn't show him any love back in college, because it made it easier to ignore his own feelings for him.

Why don't you just take what you want from me? I think you should take what you want and leave Why don't you just take what you want from me? I think you should take what you want and leave

What you want from me? Yeah What you want from me? Yeah

You're changin' You're changin' every day You played me I let you win again You're changin' You're changin' every day And you're takin' You're takin' everything

They are in fact changing, yup. Probably Jay talking about Alex, Alex changed up their usual dynamic when they got back to his house, then it turned out that all the niceness was just a way to break Jay's heart even worse. He just got his feelings played with, and he didn't really do anything to stop it, because he liked how Alex was treating him too much. Which like, fair.

#Headache is now a migraine and this has sat in my inbox for far too long already. so im just posting it #GREAT SONG MY DUDE. I am simply tired. you can make up some very intelligent song analysis stuff and pretend I said it lol #I may have set myself up for failure by doing my lil lyric analysis things cos now im like #“if i dont do that i will have failed to show i like the song and appreciate being given it oh nooooooo” which is silly but whoops #marble hornets #jay merrick #alex kralie #jaylex #marble hornets fanfic #MH sorry its locked

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siriusly-sapphic · 1 year

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Siricissa: 2, 4, 11, 14, 19, 28. I did very much struggle with not just asking you to answer all of them

Send me ship asks!

Oh my god so many Caitie I love you

2: Do they have a dynamic trope? (enemies to lovers, sunshine x grumpy, etc?)

As complicated and messy as they are, yeah for sure there are some tropes they fall into. They're both Friends to Lovers and also Lovers to Enemies, but also Enemies with Benefits. They also perfectly go with the whole bad boy/good girl thing, and I love that for them.

4: What’s their favorite sleeping/cuddling positions?

It's kind of rare for them to be in a situation, generally, where they can fall asleep together and it's not just one of them leaving in the middle of night after they've had sex. But when it happens, or in happier AUs where they're actually more officially together, they are definitely that couple that falls asleep all entwined. They both live with this idea that this is temporary even if it feels all-consuming, so they're quite attached to each other in every way? She falls asleep with her head on his chest (judging his tattoos but being comforted by the sight of them), he holds her and he cusses at her because her hair gets everywhere. When they wake up, they're close enough to fuck again just about immediately. Win win.

11: What’s a song that describes their relationship? Or, what’s the song that they’ve deemed “their” song?

There are so many that describe them it's hard to choose damn. I'm gonna give you two.

I Bet My Life by Imagine Dragons

I know I took the path that you would never want for me I know I let you down, didn't I? Now remember when I told you that's the last you'll see of me Remember when I broke you down to tears I know I took the path that you would never want for me I gave you hell through all the years I've told a million lies but now I tell a single truth There's you in everything I do I bet my life on you

Why Do You Love Me by Charlotte Lawrence

Hate your friends I hate your mom and dad I hope they hate me back I guess for once, I'm being honest Got to be a lot that's wrong with you To want to be with me It's kind of sweet Apologize, never apologize You hate the way I lie So here you go, I'm being honest Narcissist, come on, give us a kiss Let's have some fun with it

14: Who does fashion shows after a mall trip and who watches and compliments them?

Both. They are dramatic and fashionable and they love it and they love encouraging it in each other (with a healthy or unhealthy dose of mockery). They also go shopping together and do fashion show offs in the changing rooms, and end up having a quickie in one of them. Bless silencing charms.

19: How do they silently/subtly express their love for each other?

Narcissa has a thing about subtly Fixing things about the people she loves, like fixing their sleeves or their hair or readjusting their collar or tie, stuff like that. Small things that show she is watching, noticing, and caring about you. He always tells her off because he likes looking like he doesn't care about his appearance (even though he cares and everyone knows it), but he notices when she's mad at him and stops doing it and it always hurts a bit.

I think a big show of quietly saying how much they love each other and care for each other, is how they treat each other after a big fight. Their fights get nasty and explosive and they get hurt, they bleed, they scar, they know what to say to emotionally fuck each other up. When the fight's over, Sirius takes his wand and Narcissa doesn't flinch because she knows he's going to stop the cut on her cheek from scarring, and she recognises the hatred and the fear in his eyes from when she told him he's just like his mother and she reassures him that he's nothing like her (even though she thinks it's a lie).

28: What’s something that reminds them of their partner(s)? Do they have anything on them daily as a reminder (a photo, phone background, tattoo, clothing/accessory, etc)?

Okay so nothing too obvious, they try not to because yknow it'd be a whole Thing if someone found out. She's not walking around with his picture in her locket. But I do ofc like the idea of him getting a daffodil tattoo, and he gets it because it'll piss her off and she'll love and hate it, and it's not a connection that most people would immediately make. He has a bunch of other tattoos, so a small flower doesn't get noticed much. Narcissa has a Black family heirloom in the form of a ring or a necklace or something, which no one would think more of than being from her family, but holds significance to her because it's something Sirius nicked from his mother's collection when Narcissa transitioned so he could give it to her.

They also carry a lot of scars on their bodies that are leftovers from nasty fights and rough sex. There are ones that Sirius wears proudly and people tend to assume they're just from the war or from other partners, and ones that Narcissa glamours to hide. Lucius occasionally kisses her skin where she knows she has a scar from Sirius, and he has no idea but she loves it.

#sirius black #narcissa malfoy #marauders era #siricissa #sirius x narcissa #blackcest #headcanons #answered asks #caitiespersonalhell

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sylvanas-girlkisser · 1 year

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@drowmonk replied to your post “Hnnnngggghhhh I'm haunted by ideas for a Tomb...”:

*Palpatine voice* Do it!

@xhopsalong replied to your post “Hnnnngggghhhh I'm haunted by ideas for a Tomb...”:

if you wanted to be stopped you've come to the wrong place bc you had me at 'Sam'. tomb raider 2013 was everything okay

hnnngghhh maybe, here's my idea so far.

Basically I'm really taken with the concept of "dark mirror" characters, and I feel like both Amanda and the Lara clone kinda fall short at this. At the same time, I do also miss pre-2013 thrillseeker Lara, but that sort of personality just doesn't mix with modern ideals around archaelogy.

The modern trilogy has tried to make Lara come off as a good archaeologist; someone who respects the sovereignty of indigenous cultures, and takes only pictures and what is given to her.

Combined with how bookish new Lara is, I think there could be a very interesting dynamic by putting her up against someone who is just in it for the hell of it. A bored heiress looking for kicks and a few conversation starters for her 17 multimillion bachelorette crash pads.

And like, yeah the story itself is kinda given, Lara and her rival (for now i'm going with Alina) are both after the same "treasure", Lara for its archaeological significance, Alina cause it would look good 169 inch gold plated apple tv. It's all the little things that are missing, to get us to the catfights, the sweaty makeout session, the brawls that ends with one of them left bleeding on a cave floor. How does Sam fit into all of this?

I think one thing that would probably turn away a lot of readers (and yeah you shouldn't write to get readers but i digress) is the fact that the story in my head contains some amount of dubcon. Lara and "Alina" would to me represent two different but equally unhealthy ways of responding to trauma.

Lara like we see in the games, responds to the events of Yamatai, and the media shitstorm that followed it by try to enforce normality in her life - trying to stiff upper lip her way through gestures vaguely, while insisting that she is NOT CRAZY. One of the ways I've always imagined that manifesting is through aggressive denial of her own queerness (as well as any kinks she might have). She's a good christian girl, she's gonna find a brown eyed brown haired mr. right and have 2.3 children and that's that on that.

Alina meanwhile probably went through something similar to Yamatai, but went to the exact opposite extreme. She has stared death in the face and come back laughing, the world is fucked and the best you can hope is leave a pretty crater when you crash and burn. That same attitude is reflected in her queerness, sure being gay is illegal in Russia, but if you have money, everything is legal; and if people try to blackmail you, then you know those old Moscow houses, very weak windows, people fall out of them all the time.

And Alina can of course read Lara like an open book, she sees the way she looks at Sam, and the way she pauses to look at Alina lips while they're beating the shit out of each other. She knows, and because this would all be told from Lara's PoV so does the reader, that Lara's refusal to admit their mutual attraction is a product of internalized homophobia mixing with her steelheaded focus on proving that her and Alina are nothing alike.

At first Alina will try to "provoke" the dyke out of Lara, getting closer than they need to, inviting her on a barcrawl, hooking up with Sam and "accidentally" sending Lara their sex tape. You know, usual homoerotic rival stuff.

But Alina is not used to not getting the things she want, and especially after a very drunk Lara admits that she's actually super subby (justice for sub!Lara), she starts getting real forceful until Lara eventually reveals that yes she absolutely does want Alina to do all sorts of nasty things to her.

What I'm getting at, is that Alina is to some extent meant to be a, for lack of a better word, fetishization of the predatory lesbian trope - and I feel like lady Dimitrescu has proven that we as a society are ready for that, but also I would probably publish the fic under a pseudonym to limit the chance of tiktokkers sending me letterbombs.

#valk replies #cw: dubcon

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baekhvuns · 2 years

Note

I'm literally leaving Feb 1st and coming back mid-March 🤡 I hate that someone I know will see them on Valentine's Day, even though idc for that holiday, she's gonna brag about it 🔫 maybe I'll catch a sight of them in the summer, but knowing my luck lmao. Also I need to save a lot of money for Korea, I'll earn some, but travelling isn't cheap, so yeah can't really get distracted with other shit. But I think I'm gonna see CIX in January then, their tickets aren't extremely expensive

Noooooo why would they give people more sex ideas 😭 do you even know why is the avocado there? I don't think Canada is particularly known for 🥑

I know GOMs don't do it for charity, but if your main priority is to win as many fan signs as you can, something is not right

The guy in My Little Monster was a yandere, so possessive and sometimes abusive? The girl was strange too, they're really mismatched, and he needed psychological help for sure. The story wanted to tackle serious problems, but ofc minimised them so 💀 I think the only good recent romance anime are Horimiya and Kaguya Sama, but yeah I need the isekai rom-coms back <3

Okay, but I'll forever be team Tasir, I'm sorry but he's smart, funny, entertaining, dumb and slutty, with good fashion sense and I think him and Latil fit together 😭 if he turns out bad I'm gonna kms. But the soft dick story??? The Great Sage curing it, what's going oooooon.

I wanted Neymar to cry, not score. Fuck poor SK IT WAS CARNAGE. I don't really watch a lot of matches, at least not actively, but I hope an underdog wins lol, it would be funny. Lmao so true Sorry, but Key is G.O.A.T get with the times. Also what a dumb banner anyway?

Yes a week-long wedding. The theme hmmm, is vampire too obvious?

If you knew how Alaric's story has ended too, nasty nasty man on and off screen

You're right, I can't stand not being able to see blonde Hwa, so no one should. Bald it is!

I don't remember all the SuperM songs that well, tbh and I don't trust SM now except for solo work and Shinee, because everything else is so mid or bad 💀

Bestie I don't even have legit winter boots ahdyasghzhsjssbgsgs but the snow is gone at least for now. It should be law to cancel everything once snow falls, life is over

I know Hyuna and Dawn were THE kpop couple and relationship goals etc, but people need to sit the fuck down and let them be. Yeah they were public, but it doesn't mean we need to psychoanalyse them

I know my tutor isn't very good at maths, but at least he's good looking <3. Yunjin is so cool, and actually you might be onto something with the Krystal comparison? Knock Down is so so good, I also recommend Pirates by them if you don't know it already, the song makes me a lil crazy and stupid

Hmmm. I prefer the beach, I clearly sucked at certain subjects, FUCK JACOB TEAM VAMPIRES who cares about some wolf men, family... no comment 🤐 but forest green is pretty nice

I wanted to say Seonghwa adopted Soul, but maybe it's the other way round. 🥰

Bestie have you seen Disenchanted... what a garbage, if they do the same to Princess Diaries 🔪

Naomi legit looked at him lmao, also Lewis Hamilton, Rob... fashion shows always bring so many unlikely matches together. I saw Eunwoo chatting with Robert though

Really trying to make me give model Hwa a second chance, huh?

I got two versions of the album, the Hwa one and one full black(?) idek I just wanna kiss vampire Seonghwa

This is appalling.... how, why, I'm not the best cook, but this???

My vampire instincts are kicking in... - DV 💖

hello!!

NAURRRRR STOP IT GET OUT 😭😭😭 stop bc block her rn idc idc u gotta CHOOSE YOU DBWMFBS,, maybe in summer tho! cb season and them tours again!!! earning big girl money! OOOOOO CIX???? PICTURES VIDEOS EVERYTHING WE NEED EVERYTHING !!!!!

Noooooo why would they give people more sex ideas 😭 do you even know why is the avocado there? I don't think Canada is particularly known for 🥑

😭😭😭 LMFAOOOO RIGHT ITS THE WAY PPL FOLLOW THEM FBWKD i have absolutely no idea but apparently an artist had made it so u can sit in it and reflect on ur uni experience and it has a shiny side so it reflects ??? a $20k statue just for hookups 🥰

I know GOMs don't do it for charity, but if your main priority is to win as many fan signs as you can, something is not right

yeah! like in the end of the day, most just do it out of the good, so the shipping is cheaper and ppl can get their wanted pc’s but this 😭😭😭 it’s too far 😭😭

IM SORRY???? but ur right, we need a comeback of those animes we are deprived of romance

LOOK IF SONNAUGHT DIDNT EXIST TASIR WOULD BE MY MAIN CHOICE, he’s so witty and dumb and a SLUT with a tiny waist, I SHIP THEM !!!! but sonnaught 😩😩 DBWKDHWK THE GREAT SAGE IS SO FUNNY HE GIVES KLEIN A RUN FOR HIS MONEY 😭😭😭 im very team sonnaught bc they give me the duke and the general vibes but reversed

LMFAOOOO HE WAS DANCING FAR FROM CRYING

ITS SO FUNNY FHWJDHQK 😭😭😭😭 IT TRULY WAS BUT THEY HAD A GOOD RUN! richarlison came at it again! japan could’ve been the new underdog if not for the missed penalties now its just all super predictable 😭😭 morocco tho! can be considered a underdog, their defense was SCARY,,, BDMWBDAKBDKW RONALDO COULD NEVER !!!!! no bc the banner thing is so funny, why r u comparing kpop to football 😭😭 in the end of the day who won that match anyways 😭🤚🏼 also 😭😭

Yes a week-long wedding. The theme hmmm, is vampire too obvious? /// If you knew how Alaric's story has ended too, nasty nasty man on and off screen

week long wedding AND A VAMPIRE CONCEPT??? BESTIE THE DRESS BETTER BE SOME FLOWY VAMPRESS ART !!!! …i just looked up what he did,, what the fuck???

You're right, I can't stand not being able to see blonde Hwa, so no one should. Bald it is! //// I don't remember all the SuperM songs that well, tbh and I don't trust SM now except for solo work and Shinee, because everything else is so mid or bad 💀

EXACTLY!! if u can’t see the blond, no one else in europe can 🔫🤚🏼 BALD IT ISNTJWJHDKW,, ur right,, sm truly has amazing solo projects,, they tend to give their older groups (ngl the rv cb’s have been mid, we need to stop the experimental and constant orchestral pieces! give us something like zoo! or something that actually screams S M,, not nct or aespa better songs + bsides recently, the whole experimental music thing has taken it away from actual music,, where did the sm harmonies go??? where iS THE TITLE TRACKS THAT WOULD HAVE WAS BY OUR NECKS??? the quality has been deteriorating ever since that chris lee began his reign 😭😭😭

Bestie I don't even have legit winter boots ahdyasghzhsjssbgsgs but the snow is gone at least for now. It should be law to cancel everything once snow falls, life is over

if i catch u slipping 😭😭😭 UR RIGHT IT SHOULD BE A LAW BC HOW’RE WE GONNA GET TO OUT WORKSPACES WITHOUT NOT HAVING TO WORRY ABT CAR CRASHES

I know Hyuna and Dawn were THE kpop couple and relationship goals etc, but people need to sit the fuck down and let them be. Yeah they were public, but it doesn't mean we need to psychoanalyse them

RIGHTTTT!!! the over psychoanalysis of relationships ruin the thing, the whole kai and jennie thing??? looking at posts and connecting the dots and shit??? when it was months apart?? the thv jennie thing?? analyzing every SINGLE interaction,, ppl have way, way too much time on their hands, kpop’s beyond ‘scary’ just leave them alone 😭😭

LMFAOOOO and just that factor alone will help u pass <333 yunjin is so cool, her ig?? i wanna be her friend so bad, her charisma?? of the ROOF,, DO U SEE IT TOO??? I THOUGHT I WAS GOIKG CRAZY I KEEP SEEING KRYSTAL IN HER ???? im about to stan yunjin to my deathbed after this

wait bestie do u rmr this, another year went by now 😭😭 we could’ve got krystal lore,, or even her in the new sm’s got! SM NEEDS TO ROT!!!!!

they are onto something

Hmmm. I prefer the beach, I clearly sucked at certain subjects, FUCK JACOB TEAM VAMPIRES who cares about some wolf men, family... no comment 🤐 but forest green is pretty nice

FBWKDHWK SET US UP AGAIN HC I GOT THE SAME 🔫🔫🔫 WHEN I SAW THE TWILIGHT I IMMEDIATELY SCREAMED BC FURRIES 😭😭furry core <33 💖💓🥰☺️✨ forest green is! pretty nice, what a calming colour truly

I wanted to say Seonghwa adopted Soul, but maybe it's the other way round. 🥰 // Bestie have you seen Disenchanted... what a garbage, if they do the same to Princess Diaries 🔪

IT DEF IS THE OTHER WAY AROUND THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS SO PURE BUT AWKWARD BUT WHOLESOME 😭😭😭 stop i have not IS IT THAT BAD??? if they ruin princess diaries oHo they’re catching HANDS

Naomi legit looked at him lmao, also Lewis Hamilton, Rob... fashion shows always bring so many unlikely matches together. I saw Eunwoo chatting with Robert though

THEY ALL DID AND THE MF WENT TO EUNWOO ALL GIGGLY AND SHIT 😭😭😭 no bc what was mr hamilton doing there?? 😭😭 eunwoo & robert ate idc idc, two modern age vampires in one photo 🤌🏼

Really trying to make me give model Hwa a second chance, huh?

I got two versions of the album, the Hwa one and one full black(?) idek I just wanna kiss vampire Seonghwa

HELLO????&£€£€ WHAT PC’S WHICH ONES WHEN IS COMING !!! FRAME THE ALBUM JUICE AYO !!!! EVERY PC NEEDS TO BE FRAMED

This is appalling.... how, why, I'm not the best cook, but this??? // My vampire instincts are kicking in... - DV 💖

they’re this bad??? how are they gonna get someone to marry then if they cant cook?🤨 vampire instincts or a neck kink..

u ever just be so jealous of someone’s lips

????

and this? what goes on 😭😭

this yeosang edit!

and 😶😶

got another quiz bc they set us up

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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90363462 · 2 years

Text

media.giphy.com

So...15 Men Told Me About What They LOVE During Sex

Ever wonder what men think about during the actual act?

Shellie R. Warren

Sep. 17, 2021 06:18PM EST

I've got quite a few male friends. Also, because of what I do for a living, I have many male clients too. While there are a billion-and-one reasons why I'm actually grateful to be able to say this, probably my top favorite one is that I get to hear a lot of men's innermost thoughts — things that sometimes they are hesitant to say because they're not sure how we'll take it and/or things they've never really felt comfortable being very open about and/or — and yes, this happens — things they never get asked their thoughts on and so, they never bring those things up.

Interestingly enough, this is something that falls into the "Door #3" category. Do men talk about sex? Y'all already know the answer to that. Yet when I asked 15 of them (middle names were used; usually are) about what they actually adore about what transpires during the actual act, I found the answers to be "Oh, really?" enough to share with y'all. With their permission, of course. #wink

Chavez. 25. Single.

"This is my kinda topic right here. Damn, I can only mention one thing? Hmm. I think what I like the most about sex is right when I enter into a woman. The sound she makes, the way our breathing shifts and how our bodies flow — damn, that's my s — t right there."

Kiran. 33. In a Relationship.

"This question needs to have a qualifier — if you're in a relationship or not. When I wasn't only having sex with one woman, I liked the newness of learning about someone's body that I had never been with before. That's seductive as hell. Now, I love to find a 'new spot' on my partner. It's like pushing a button that you didn't know led you to someplace you didn't realize you wanted to go."

Glenn. 27. Single.

"Assertive women are what I like. Someone who is like, 'We're gonna do it this way and you're gonna like it'. Women who just kinda lay there are boring. But a woman who likes to switch up positions, doesn't mind doing some tying up and tells me when it's time to go another round…that's the kind of sex that I'm all about."

DeShawn. 39. Married.

"I like it when a woman knows the difference between when I ejaculate and when I cum. My wife is really good at that. When she is able to give me an orgasm, my favorite part is trying to 'one up her' by trying to give her at least three more right after. Going down on her is my favorite way to do that."

Harold. 42. Divorced.

"It might sound wild but the thing I miss most about my ex is our sex life. Let's not get into all of that, though."

"Let me just say that what I liked was her dirty talk — barely above a whisper, nasty as f — k and super confident. People always talk about how visual men are. Yeah, we like to hear s — t too."

Armon. 35. In a Relationship.

"There is nothing like opening your eyes and seeing a beautiful woman on top of you. She's looking you dead in the eyes with a smirk on her face and riding you like she's about to eat you alive. Damn."

Gideon. 28. Single.

"Two things that a woman can't fake are her vagina contracting and her body getting wetter. That's why I don't understand how men can't pick up on ladies that fake it. Anyway, those are my favorite things. When you are in a zone and you can feel that you're turning your lady on, that s — t is absolutely amazin'."

Merlin. 29. Married.

"You ever spoon until you both cum and then fall asleep spooning in the same position afterwards? When you are so connected that you can have an orgasm at the same time and then you don't want it to end, so you let your man stay inside of you and you fall asleep like that? Get someone you can do that with all of the time. Nothin' better."

Michael. 44. Married.

"I like how my wife smells. I don't mean when she has an essential oil on. I mean, just her regular scent. It's crazy because when we're having sex, it's like I want to get as deep into her skin as possible — just take her all in."

Patrick. 23. Single.

"I like the time before intercourse happens. You both know that's where it's headed but you try and build up the anticipation for as long as possible."

"I know I probably seem young, but I've been having sex for a while and learning not to underestimate foreplay is the ultimate sex hack. When two people make each other want each other, that's when the sex is really great."

Orrin. 32. Divorced.

"I like getting my head pulled in. You know you're doing a great job going down on a woman when all she can do is breathe really fast and pull your head in. Hell yeah."

Hayes. 48. Single.

"There is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, like the taste of a woman. Her mouth tastes one way. Her skin tastes another way. And her walls — there's nothing like it. I can just lick and kiss for hours and be perfectly content. What's crazy is while women might think it's for them, it's actually for me. Tasting a woman is what I love the most."

Kristopher. 32. Single.

"'Round three is what I love about sex. The first one is all about getting the stress out. The second is about building some stamina. Three? That's when it's all about just enjoying your partner. There's no rush. There's no pressure. You're just 'in it'. I like being in it."

Danyel. 40. In a Relationship.

"You know what I really like? Undressing a woman. I like lingerie but I honestly don't care what she has on. It doesn't matter how long I've been with her either. The build-up of seeing different parts of her body as I go at my own pace…it's like unwrapping a Christmas gift, damn near every time."

Everson. 36. Single.

"Whenever a woman trusts you enough to let you literally enter into her being, there is no higher privilege. Might sound like a line to some but it's the truth. Being one with someone whose energy and spirit you vibe with already gives you a climax before one ever happens."

"Will never know how to get enough of that."

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Shellie R. Warren

Shellie R. Warren is a lover of quotes, lip gloss, graphic t-shirts, silver jewelry and Pumas. She's an author with two published books (thus far) on matters of the heart. In fact, 2019 was the 15-year anniversary of her first release ' Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption' (she's seriously mulling over penning a sequel to it) and 2020 marked her 20-year anniversary of being a (mostly) full-time writer. Aside from that, when Shellie's not tellin' all her business, she's helping couples (marriage life coach) or assisting with birthing babies (doula). Her byline is all over cyberspace, but where you won't find her is on social media. Like anywhere. At all. If you need to hit her up, she's (usually) reachable at missnosipho at gmail.com, though. HOWEVER, pitches for xoNecole need to go to editor@xonecole. Hit her up for *strictly* Shellie-related stuff. Again, pitch article ideas to the site addy NOT HER. Much appreciated.

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spaghettificationandpretzels · 2 years

Text

The Reaper and The Death Angel Part 42

My life is falling to pieces right now, here's a chapter that I'm kinda happy with.

Series Masterlist

Part 41

Contains: Angst, pain, major character death marked with XXX, blood, violence, sadness, smut (fingering, oral sex M receiving, P in V) follows the plot of 4x06 - 4x08 loosely.

6.7K Words

Comment if you want to be tagged/removed or follow #the reaper and the death angel.

Death comes for Charming.

You knew you were being tailed by Unser as you pulled into T-M, but there was no point in worrying with Abel trying to point out fun things around the compound as you parked the car, "birdy."

It was said with such sureness, "yes, what colour is the birdy?"

There was a pause, "brown."

You chuckled, "very good Abel, that birdy is brown."

Gemma greeted you when you got out of the car, "hey, I was going to pick him up."

You shrugged, "the case I'm working on has hit a brick wall, I'm waiting for results on some bone scrapings, if I didn't get out of that lab I'm going to go insane."

You handed her a bag, "Abel's learning his colours so there's a book and some cards in there if he gets bored."

"Great, you gonna have lunch here?"

You nodded, "yeah, the results won't be back for a few hours so I've got time."

A little while later, Lyla and Ima showed up, "is Juice around?"

Gemma shook her head, "Club business, what's going on?"

Ima rubbed her face, "our servers are about to crash, we need help."

"I'll call someone at Anvil to go and help in the meantime, they're in Oakland so if you can hold off from an hour, they might be able to get something fixed.

A taxi pulled into the lot and a young woman got out, Gemma huffed and rubbed her face, "who is that?"

She smiled, "half of Satan's spawn."

****

They lined up all thirty keys of coke with smiles on their faces, "the cartel will be here late tonight."

Clay nodded, "well, we better make sure everything is perfect."

Jax gave a nod in agreement, "make sure the warehouse is always protected, I don't believe Romeo for one minute about us being safe up north."

They wandered outside to work out protection until Parada arrived, "I'm gonna keep Rafi here too."

Clay nodded, "good idea."

He turned to Miles and Juice, "you two stay here with the prospects, no one leaves the dope alone."

Tig stepped aside to take a call, "Clay, I got a thing at T-M, my kid just showed up."

Bobby smiled, "which one?"

Tig shook his head, "the crazy one."

Jax's tone was light, "which one?" They laughed and Tig left, worried about what he was going to walk into.

****

Dawn was there for help with school, she needed money for textbooks so you were holding Abel while Tig worked on a car so he could point out all the different things under the hood. Abel reached out to touch something and you held his little hand, "what do we ask before we touch something that isn't ours?"

He looked at you with curious eyes, "touch please."

Tig chuckled and held the screwdriver in front of him, "ta." You heard a car race into the lot and a man got out and slammed the door, stomping over to where you and Tig were standing.

"You people fucked up my car."

You put Abel down and waved through the window to Ima and Lyla who opened the door, "can you go read your book with auntie Lyla and auntie Ima please." Abel totted off none the wiser.

"You need to lower your voice, I'm sure Mr Tragger can fix your issue."

The man's voice got nasty, "I wasn't talking to you bitch."

A crowd was forming, "ok buddy, it's time for you to go, you can come back later when you're calm." Your hand moved to the gun on your hip after Tig told him to leave, the man didn't act like he was going to go anywhere, then there was a gun in your face.

You left your hand on your hip and took a step to the right so there was no way he could make a break for the office where Abel was. "Leave now."

Tig's eyes were glued to the gun, "you heard the lady, leave or we call the cops."

The man deflated at the threat of law enforcement, "I'll be back."

You relaxed and so did Tig, everyone else was standing stock still, "I got his licence plate number, we need to call Hale and turn over the CCTV footage."

Tig nodded, "I'll call the guys and get them back here."

****

Opie got the phone call just as they were arranging the transport to the Mayans' cut and bag house, "yo, we got a problem."

After talking to Ope outside Jax was in a rage, "what happened?"

He was already halfway to his bike, "some psycho customer pulled a gun on everyone."

Clay was the one in a rush now, "Jesus Christ, are they alright?"

Jax nodded, "Hale's on his way, Tig said everyone was fine."

As they got to the door, Juice and Miles stopped, "we'll stay behind and watch the dope, you guys go. Keep us updated."

Jax gave a curt nod, "Sam, stay here too, we don't need everyone there with Hale showing up, it might look suspicious."

They arrived at T-M in a flash, Hale was still there, talking to one of the mechanics, he could see you pacing in the back of the garage. Jax came running up to you, pulling you into his arms, "are you ok?"

You nodded, "I'm fine, just shaken up. That guy was unhinged Jax, he'll be back here to do damage if he's not arrested."

Jax took a deep breath, "is Hale going after the guy?"

You nodded, "yeah, he's talking to Dog to see what he was on about, the car he was driving sounded fine."

Jax jutted his head towards the office, "is Abel in there?"

You nodded, "yep, I got him there before the gun came out."

Jax relaxed further, "thank God for your quick thinking."

You chuckled, "can I admit something?" Jax squeezed you tighter, "that was the first time I've been scared of a gun since I was a teenager."

Jax clenched his jaw, "anyone would be scared with a gun in their face, you're not superhuman y/n, it's ok to be frightened."

You huffed, "you always know what to say, don't you Teller."

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, "you want me to drive you back to work?"

You shook your head, "nah, I'll be home a bit late tonight so don't wait up. I love you."

"Love you too Darlin."

****

"Romeo will be here in an hour."

Happy's head dropped, "I'm gonna take a nap, I've been at this since last night." Chibs nodded and Happy wandered to the office, leaving Juice and Chibs to talk.

"You ever push back against the rules, some of them are pretty hardcore."

Chibs shook his head, "you knew what they were when you signed up."

Juice nodded, "the black thing ever bother you, with Fiona and all?"

Chibs shook his head, "nah, Fiona was an old lady. Listen, the rules have been around since day one, different time, I'm not saying I agreed with them but if you start picking and choosing which ones to follow, the whole thing falls apart."

"Yeah, I'm going for a smoke."

Miles was out by the tress when he walked outside, "hey Juice." He could tell how tired the man was but right now, the whole warehouse was filled with men who wanted to go home. Juice lit, took a hit then passed Miles the joint, both unaware of the car slowly driving up to the warehouse. By the time they saw it, it was too late.

XXXXXXXXX

They turned their heads as the car got closer but the gun was out the window and firing before they could react, Juice felt a searing hot pain in his leg and warm wetness on his face as he hit the ground, Miles was grunting in pain. He pulled his gun and turned onto his back, firing at the car as it sped off.

The others came rushing out and Juice scrambled to Miles who was sputtering, his chest covered in red. Chibs lifted his shirt, "call y/n, this is beyond me." Happy scrambled to get his phone out while Juice and Phill dragged Miles inside, there was a moment of quite so nasty it cut the air then Miles took a hacking breath, then there was nothing.

Juice reached and hand down and placed to fingers in his neck, nothing. Chibs came running in and Rat emerged from the office with a first aid kit, "we're too late." Juice was now suddenly aware of how much pain he was in, his leg falling out from under him.

The others arrived in record time, taking in the trail of blood from the small grouping of trees to where Miles' body lay, "we need to clean this up, take the body to Seekter's."

Jax rubbed his face, "was this the rival cartel?"

They all shrugged, "we better ask Romeo."

The prospects started to move the body while Chibs loaded Juice into the van, "my sister's waiting for you at her place, call us when you get there safe, yeah?"

Chibs nodded, "of course brother."

XXXXXXXXX

You were already set up when they arrived, "where's Miles, I thought I was going to the warehouse?"

Chibs shook his head, "Miles didn't make it."

You rubbed your face, "I need those bullets." Chibs nodded and called Happy, telling him to make sure to retrieve the bullets before Skeeter did anything."

"Let's get you fixed up."

He climbed onto the steel table in the laundry and you started to work, "you alright if Chibs helps?"

Juice nodded, his voice flat, "sure."

It didn't take long to get him stitched up, once you were done, you wrapped the wound in some waterproof bandages and sent him for a shower, "I really want you to stay here tonight so I can make sure you're doing ok, are you alright with that?"

"Yeah, thanks."

You pulled Chibs aside when Juice was out of earshot, "I know you could have taken care of that, why bring him to me?"

Chibs shrugged, "because I know you didn't offer for him to stay the night so you could keep the bullet hole clean."

You nodded, "I'll talk to him once he's not covered in blood, you doing ok?"

He shrugged again, "I guess Romeo lied."

"He's in a cartel what else do you expect. I'm really sorry about Miles, he was a good dude."

Chibs smiled sadly, "thanks lass, call me later tonight and tell me how Juicy Boy is going?"

You put a hand on his shoulder, "of course Chibs."

*****

"You told us we were safe up here, now one of my guys is dead."

Parada put his hand up, "we have no idea if it was Lobo Sonora, let's us do some digging before we worry. In the meantime, I'll keep some of my guys here for safety."

Everything went smoothly with Romeo, then Clay was pulling him aside. "We got a problem, we have an internal threat. A family member stumbled on some of our more sensitive information."

Romeo did his best not to huff, "this is really bad."

Clay shook his head, "I know, she's out doc and she got a level of access. It got out of hand, I'm afraid she's going to expose us."

"The doctor, that's your VP's old lady?"

Clay nodded, "yeah, he don't know." It was getting hard for Romeo not the laugh, he had read the letters, he knew what this was about. Despite how short you were with him, he liked you, you listened and never kept any information from them, the fact that you had warned him this was going to happen only solidified what the director said about you.

Once they had driven away, Romeo called you, "you were right, Clay wants you dead."

You huffed, "get Willows on it, we work well together and I trust him not to shoot me."

"Done."

****

"Could this be someone at work?"

You shrugged nonchalantly, "it could very well be the frat assholes next door. I have cameras outside, I'll see who left it and go from there." You took the note from here and walked to the sink after pulling a lighter from the drawer. Once the note was burnt, you dusted your hands and sat down.

"I'm calling Jax."

You rolled your eyes, "I tell him tonight, if it was the cartel they would have sent a bomb to my doorstep. I'm not worried, I truly couldn't care less." She looked at you like you were insane then called Jax while you checked the camera, you deleted the footage before Gemma came back, "they were wearing a hoodie, no idea who it was but they didn't look armed, the footage is gone so the cops can't come looking. Can I go to work now?"

She shook her head, "Jax wants you at the Clubhouse."

You threw your arms up in the air, "fine but only because I'm worried about his blood pressure."

Confronting Unser about why he left the death threat would have to wait.

*****

"Sorry about Miles, I like the guy."

Jax smiled softly, "thanks man, you wanna give us the tour?"

Marcus nodded and took them through the house. The cut and bag operation was impressive, Kip huffed as the vision of the women filling tortillas with drugs, "that's pretty smart." Marcus gave him a smile.

"How many dealers?" Jax was impressed that they were so well organised but a phone call ruined the tone of the morning, "we've got to go right now, it's y/n." They were running out the door right away, "someone put a death threat in her car." Before they could leave, a car rammed into the compound and started shooting.

It lasted less than a minute and people were dead everywhere, Jax drove after the shooter while the other tried to get their baring, "put someone with my wife and kid."

Marcus was bleeding "how far is your shot doc?"

Marcus jutted his head towards the dead man on the ground, "not too far."

"You guy follow us, call y/n."

****

Abel was screaming for his father while Chibs bounced him up and down, "bring your medical bag."

You took a deep breath and Chibs walked by you, "there's your mummy, see."

You reached out and grabbed his little hand, "daddy will be here soon, can you be brave until them?"

He sniffed and held your hand with all his might nodding through tears, "thank you Abel, now we're going to go to daddy's work and wait for him, is that ok with you?"

He wiped his face with the back of his hand and nodded, "good job mum."

You huffed, "thanks Chibby." Clay and Alvarez were there when you arrived, "where's Jax?"

Clay's tone was short, "he went after the shooter."

You sighed, "get Mr Alvarez into the Clubhouse, I'll fix him up."

You looked over the wound while Chibs handed Alvarez a joint, Gemma and Clay were talking by the bar, "how is y/n?"

Gemma huffed, "how she normally is, Miss Ice Queen over there isn't worried at all. You think the threat's real?"

Clay shook his head, "I don't know."

Clay walked over to you while Gemma spoke to Opie, "where's are the girls and your kids?"

Opie stood up, seemly just as worried as everyone else, "the kids are on their way with Lyla and Ima."

Opie left with Bobby to get Piney while you started to fix Alvarez, "you got any idea who this was?"

Marcus shook his head, "some guy that wanted me dead."

You handed the lidocaine to Chibs, "two more inches and he would have hit your axillary artery, you would have bled out in two minutes max. He almost got his wish."

"Thanks, what happened to you? Jax was very concerned."

You rolled your eyes, "someone put a note in my car, a death threat. As you can see, I'm not worried."

You picked up a scalpel and started working, "a death threat, shit."

"Could this be the other cartel?"

Marcus shook his head, the phone ringing as you cleaned the mound, "Jacky Boy, you alright?"

Jax's voice was hushed, "fine, is y/n safe?"

Chibs nodded, "she's right here, patching up Alverez." Jax gave the address he was sitting on then Chibs held the phone to your head.

"Hey, are you ok?"

He sounded worried, "yeah, are you?"

You huffed, "I don't like warm bodies, they feel weird."

Jax chuckled, "good to know Darlin, I don't want you leaving the compound." You sighed, "you can't do anything about it if I do, but I'll stay for your sake. I love you."

"Love you too."

Jax hung up and you went back to the bullet hole, "it's wasn't the cartel, they would have left the message in her kid's blood."

You smiled, "thank you Marcus for being the only logical person I've talked to today, I'll make sure your scar looks extra nice."

****

Finding the shooter failed miserably, when they burst into the apartment, there were children everywhere, "get the kids out of here." They were out of the room seconds later, then Jax was hauling the man he said was the driver up on his feet.

"Where is the other shooter?" Jax pressed the gun to his head, "where is the other shooter?" The man shook his head, it didn't take long to pull the truth out of the family, then the shooter came out of the bathroom and the chaos started. In a matter of seconds, one woman and the shooter were dead. Jax was at his wits end and the man knew it, he gave them the whole story in a rush of tears and stress.

"Better call your friend Romeo."

Jax looked around, "we got to go."

****

"He gonna make it?"

You nodded, "he'll be fine, when are the others back? I've got news about the men who killed Miles."

She shrugged, "soon just hold tight." Sure enough, the others were back twenty minutes later.

Jax all but ran up to you and pulled you into his arms, "you ok?"

You nodded, "I'm fine. I got the ballistics back on the bullets that killed Miles, nothing from this side of the border, there was a hit south but I can't go looking with sparking suspicion, the plates were bogus."

Jax smiled sadly, Miles' goodbye was short and rushed, they would bury him properly when all this blew over, "thank Darlin, you sure you're ok?"

You pressed a kiss to his chin, "I'll worry when there's something to worry about. I still have a four million dollar price on my head from the last cartel I dealt with."

Jax huffed, "my little badass, I wish I had your balls."

You giggled, "don't sell yourself too short Teller, yours are plenty big."

Jax smiled and went to whisper something in your ear but Abel came racing out of the dorm, "daddy."

Jax knelt down and lifted Abel into his arms, "hello little man."

You wrapped your arms around both of them, 'we're going to be ok, this is nothing for me Jax."

When you walked outside, the others were sitting around one of the picnic tables, "what?"

Bobby shook his head, "it looks like SAMTAZ just got hit, Armando's MIA."

You nodded, "it makes sense that they'd do that, have you contacted Santo Parde?"

Bobby shook his head, "we're waiting until we hear more."

Chibs left in a huff to talk to Clay and Juice was called in soon after, when he came out, he had another flash on his chest but he seemed so sad. You shared a look with Sam and pulled him aside, "keep an eye on him Sam, I'm worried."

Sam swallowed, "yeah, I heard him talking about Miles."

You nodded, "he was there when he died, I don't think he's taking it well."

"I'll invite him over for dinner tonight, make sure he's not alone with his thoughts for too long."

You took a deep breath, "good idea."

****

They were sitting in church talking over the plans, Bobby's voice was tight as he spoke. He and Clay were at each other like school children, then Bobby was calling an officer challenge. The room went cold, "your leadership is comprising this Club, I wanna vote, new president."

"Second, get Juice, Sack and Happy back here, call Kozik and Piney and get their proxies. We vote this shit tonight." The slam of the gavel sealed everyone's fate.

****

"I know none of you can we here for long so I just put on something small, roast chicken thighs, some veggies and rice. Help yourselves." Jax offered you a soft smile while Juice pilled his plate high, "how's the baking going?"

Juice smiled, "I hopped on a doughnut train, I think I've got it down now."

You huffed in mock offence, "where are these doughnuts you speak of? Was I not considered?"

Juice chuckled, "well yes, but you know what it's like, you leave something out of a second and it's gone."

"He's not lying, I've tried to bring some home for you and they were all gone."

Ima giggled, "you brought some home for me."

Sam went red, "awww, ain't that the cutest."

Jax tapped your knee with his, "be nice to your brother." You looked a

Jax and blinked, "I am nice to him, it's not my fault he's got goo goo eyes now, back me up Juicy."

Juice laughed, "I ain't getting in the middle of this."

You shook your head, "when do you guys need to leave?"

Jax smiled, "Clay texted about twenty minutes ago, we're have the vote in the morning."

You nodded, "that's good, I don't really want you guys travelling late at night. You can stay here tonight as well Juice, I don't think it's safe for you to travel on your own."

Juice smiled, "thanks."

The rest of the night was calm, with the others going to bed just as you put Abel down. You were in the doorway between your room and his making you he was settling well when Jax came behind you and wrapped his arms around your body, his bare chest against your back. He looked over your shoulder and closed the door when he saw Abel was fast asleep, taking your hand in his and walking you to the bed.

"I love you so much."

You smiled, "I love you too. What's the matter beloved?"

Jax smiled sadly, "I don't know where all of this is leading y/n, I think the cartel was a mistake. I…..I just don't want you to get hurt."

You placed your hand on his face, "Jackson, I'm not going to get hurt. When you guys were inside, I was offered a job at the Smithsonian, as the head of anthropology, I turned it down. They called on Monday and I turned it down again. I'm here Jax, and I'm not leaving, even for the job I've wanted since I was a little girl. Because it wouldn't mean anything without you and Abel."

Jax's eyes were wet, "I don't deserve you."

You shook your head, "it's not that simple Jax. But I'll always be here, as long as you'll have me." He encompassed your face with his hands, pulling you in for a kiss as you climbed onto his lap. Jax ran his hands up your body and pulled your shirt off you while laying back on the bed and you went up on your knees to pull your panties off.

He repositioned himself on the bed with his head on the pillows, you pulled on the hem of his grey sweatpants and yanked them down, shaking your head as his bare skin was revealed, "commando, really Jackson?"

He smirked, "I have eyes you know, I see the way you look at me."

You shrugged, "well most of the time I'm looking at your butt so you can't see my face but you are a snack."

His smirk grew, "oh really?"

You shook your head, "you're insufferable."

You leaned down and kissed his neck, Jax grunting when your teeth met his flesh, "why are you always biting me?"

His tone was light and warm with a hint of smugness, "cause you're biteable. Also, you're so attractive that it makes me mad."

He pulled his lower lip between his teeth, "is that so?" You bit him again, a little harder this time.

You softened your lips as you pressed them to his, Jax's hand reaching up and held your face to his. His other hand was running along the outside of the thigh and up your body, landing on your breast where his finger circled your nipple. You indulged him for a few seconds before taking his hand and placing it between your legs, "you're being impatient again."

Regardless, his finger ran through your slit and his teeth grabbed your lower lip. You gasped into his mouth as he slid two fingers inside you and crooked them to rub your G-spot while this thumb rubbed your clit. You feel against his chest as he moved his fingers, Jax craning his head to kiss and suck your neck.

Jax's thumb pressed harder and you moved your head to kiss him as his fingers pushed you over the edge. He dropped his arm and lifted his free hand to stroke your cheek, then you were kissing down his body. "I want you to ride me."

You smiled, "let me suck your dick first?"

He chuckled with a nod, "sure Darlin."

You kissed from hip to hip and along his adonis belt, Jax moaning as you kissed down his cock to the head. You licked around the head then sucked his cock into your mouth, Jax moving his hands to gently rub your face and neck. You pulled him into your mouth as far as you could, using one hand to wrap around the part of his shaft you could reach with your mouth.

Jax grunted when your hand came to hold his balls, then he was pulling you up by your wrist, "that enough."

He tapped his hips, "hop on." He shot you the trademark Teller smirk as you climbed on top of him and held his cock while you slid onto him. You let out a grunt as he bottomed out, "you good pretty girl?" You nodded through gritted teeth.

"You're so big."

Jax chuckled and his fingertips landed on your clit as he rubbed in soft circles, "take all the time you need, I'm not going anywhere." He lifted himself up on his elbows and you leaned down to kiss him. The kiss was rough, one of Jax's hands was holding your face tight enough that you couldn't sit up full, you pushed on his chest with all your might and he let go, chuckling as you leaned back and placed your hands behind you.

You moved your hips in a slow grind while Jax took in the vision of your heaving torso as you moved. Jax's eyes drifted to where you were joined, his eyes going wide when he saw how wet you were "holy shit that's hot."

You giggled, "you're a Troglodyte."

He huffed, "careful now."

You leaned down and hovered your lips just above his, "what are you going to….." You sentence was cut off as he flipped you over, letting out a little shout that had Jax smiling smugly.

"What I am going to do about it?"

You didn't have the chance to answer as his finger went back to your clit and his hips moved in rapid rolling thrusts. "Oh my God, please."

He bit your shoulder, "please what?" You shook your head, "more, stop, what do you want Darlin?"

You took a deep breath, "please, I need to cum."

Jax chuckled, "I can do that." He changed the angle of his hips to hit your G-spot with each thrust and you moaned, "there?" You nodded and he doubled down.

You clawed at his back as you contacted around him, Jax's hips faltering as he regained his rhythm, "that's it Darlin, all you have to do is tell me what you need and I'll give it to you." His voice cracked at the end and then he was spraying your insides.

You wrapped your arms around him and held him to your chest, "thank you."

Jax pressed a kiss to your cheek, "you kidding me? I should be thanking you."

You smiled softly as he pressed his lips to yours, "I'll clean you up." You nodded and he stroked your hips as he stood up, returning with a warm damp cloth to remove the mess.

He tossed the used towel into the hamper and climbed into bed next to you, pulling you into his arms. "I'll text you when the vote is done."

You rested your head against his chest, "it's all going to work out Jax, don't worry."

You ran the backs of his fingers along your arm, "the more you say it the more I believe you, somehow you've always managed to come in at the eleventh hour and fix things for us."

You chuckled, "we'll see, the cartel is a different kettle of fish."

You pressed a kiss to his cheek, "good night beloved."

"Good night Darlin."

****

The air inside the chapel was bearly breathable with the tension that hung between the members, "ok, yay or nay, Bobby taking the Gavel?" There was a heartbeat of quiet before Clay gave his nay and another before Tig gave his, the science, while they waited for Chibs was deafening. Then the gunshots started, they hit the floor as debris sprayed around them, and the sound of bullets rushing past their ears filled the room.

They scrambled to arm themselves and get outside, the red truck standing out as it blazed through the compound. They did their best to return fire, a man falling from the truck as it drove away and the shooting ceased. Opie spotted the man who fell off the back, "there's one."

There was a rush then Happy was pressing the butt of his gun to the man's neck, "don't move."

"Oh man, Clay, this is bad." Chucky's voice was rushed and shaky, "like bad bad."

They walked over, "what is it?"

Jax's tone didn't reflect Chucky's worry, "holy shit, that's…"

Piney wished he was surprised, "it's Armando."

****

"Ok, I have these patterns here but if you don't find one you like, I can always draft one." You had spent some time early that day looking over wedding dresses in the shop on Mainstreet so she knew what she wanted

Ima looked over the wedding dress patterns, passing them to Lyla as she went. Her eyes lit up as she landed on one, "this one, this is it."

It was old Hollywood, long and flowing with a high cowl and boat neck and a barely formfitting drape. "Very Marilyn Monroe, would you like to start looking at fabric?"

She shook her head, "I want silk, I think that would look best."

You nodded, "good call, colour?"

She pointed to a classic off white, "great, let me take your measurement, I'll have a linen draft done by the weekend then we can go from there."

You were about the start handing daft patterns pieces to the other women to start cutting when you got Sam's call, "we need you at the reservation, something's happened."

You rubbed your face, "sorry ladies, Club business. Once the cutting is done, you guys can have a look at the flowers, I've tell the botany department to go ahead without me there, just get Travis to show you the way."

You hugged Ima and Lyla and left to deal with the latest mess.

****

When you drove up, Sam and Kip greeted you, "what the hell is going on."

Sam took your arm and led you into a barn where a man and tied to a chair, "am I here for him?"

Kip shook his head, "no, you're here for this."

He opened a black duffle bag only to show you three decapitated heads, "oh my God, that's Armando."

Sam nodded, "there was a drive-by at T-M, these were dropped off, can you tell us if they were alive when it happened."

You nodded and rushed to your car to get gloves, Happy came over to the half-open van a few feet away to get a toolbox, "you good with this?"

He gave you a curt nod, "yeah, I'll come get you if I think you can help."

You returned and picked up one of the heads and looked at the exposed neck, "they were alive, there's blood in the tissue. Maybe don't tell SAMTAZ those details, and someone needs to call Santo Padre."

Kip nodded, "good idea y/n, I'll call Jax."

Sam put his hand on your shoulder, "I'll let you get back to helping with my wedding."

You shook your head, "I will give you nothing, my mind is a steel trap."

He laughed, "really?"

You shook your head, "she's going to look beautiful."

****

Hale showed up with a scowl on his face, it became clear why when Roosevelt drove up behind him, "I'm sorry, I tried to keep him away but he pissed about RICO falling through."

Jax's eyebrows furrowed, "y/n, she let me know about Potter. For what it's worth, I would have never let them set up here."

Jax nodded, "just don't turn over too much dirt and we'll be fine."

Roosevelt walked over and started to question them, dismissing the idea that it was a rival mechanic. Jax walked away after Roosevelt continued and insisted on a full investigation.

They drove to the reservation, being greeted by Sam and Kip while Happy worked over the shooter, "how's the wedding planning going?"

Sam huffed, "I don't think my sister planned to have come here and look at heads instead of flowers but it seems to be going well. She said they were alive when they cut their heads off."

Jax stuttered and walked over the Happy, "he's hasn't said a word."

"Are you sure you didn't cut his tongue out?"

Happy shook his head, "not yet, but I'm running out of ideas." The man had a flash of fear on his face when the cartel showed up. He only started talking after Torres shot him up with sodium pentothal.

Sam shook his head and pulled Jax aside, "there's no such thing as a truth serum, we can't trust what that guy tells us."

Jax nodded, "yeah man, we'll be careful."

Whether he was telling the truth about Pedro being a rat was one thing, but they were stuck doing the cartel's bidding until they knew for sure. "If Pedro is the pipeline to Lobo, let's feed him something useful. Our guns, we'll tell him we're moving them out of Cali tomorrow, that we're storing them here tonight. Then you are your guys, take them down."

Sam snarled, "we're not an infantry unit, you're going to get us killed."

Torres smiled, "you will be, make no mistake, gentlemen, we're at war." It didn't take long for them to feed the information back to Pedro, then they split off to do their various duties before eight when Lobo was set to arrive.

"Kip, can you head to my place and check on my kids."

He nodded and Opie placed a hand on his shoulder, "I bet you're happy she's with Ima and y/n right now?"

He nodded, "yeah, it's going to take a whole army to get through her."

Jax chuckled, "sometimes I wish we let women in, she would have had all these assholes sorted months ago."

Opie nodded and did his best not to laugh, "oh Jackson, as if I'd ever spend more than necessary on one of those two-wheeled death machines."

It wasn't meanspirited, you never kept your dislike for bikes quiet, Jax giggled, "she would say exactly that."

****

You and the ladies had just finished with buying the invites by the time the Charming Gardens fundraiser started, Gemma and Tig were already there. "Hey, how's it looking?"

Gemma smiled, "there's some pretty fat cats here but it's hard to say, you have any luck with that grant?"

You nodded, "yep, thirty thousands each year if the gardens put on educational classes for the locals at least twice a week, I just told Rita and she seems pretty happy."

You glared at Roosevelt as he walked up, "Rita just told me what you did, I know we haven't ever seen.."

You, "we haven't seen eye to eye and we never will, I know you're not going anywhere no matter what happened Potter but you don't need to make nice with me. If we ever work together, all you have to do is put the victim first and we'll get along fine."

Clay arrived next, doing his best to seem like the family-friendly man and Charming's best friend. It didn't take long for the party to get going, Oswald gave an impassioned speech as Mayor and along with Clay, gave the garden enough money to keep their heads above water for another year.

Gemma was sitting next to you and placed her arm in yours, "it's nice to have a win."

You nodded, "yeah, it is."

****

They readily their guns, it was eight, time to meet Lobo. The air was charged as they approached the taco truck in the dark, Chibs had a shutter run down his spine as he remembered the last time he encountered a bomb, "it's got to be rigged, that'll blow us all to hell."

"Where's Pedro?" A gagged man was pushed towards the truck and forced to open it, the smell of day old corpses hitting them in the face as the roller door slid open.

Jax huffed, "some truth serum, how did they know we were waiting for them?" Torres pulled a knife out of his jacket and drove it into Pedro's neck, there was such a coldness in his eyes that Jax felt his skin prickled.

They were not getting out of this unscathed.

****

Jax and Sam came home late, late enough that Ima and Abel had been in bed for hours, "how did it go?"

Sam huffed and yelled as he walked to have a shower, "how to fuck do you think."

Jax bristled, "it's ok, he's just stressed, he should be planning his wedding and instead he's dealing with Clay's mess."

Jax pulled out a chair and sat down opposite you, "where's your head at with all this?" You shrugged.

"No where, I'm busy tomorrow but the next day I'm going to talk Abel to the park, then I'm going to start Ima's wedding dress. I'm not worried Jax, I believe you when you said you're going to get the Club out of all of this, I'm going to keep the faith while you work at that."

Jax smiled and reached his hand out and laced your fingers together, "I am the luckiest man in the world."

****

Your phone rung while Jax was in the shower, you walked into the office and shut the door so you wouldn't be bothered, "I don't have much to tell you, Lobo Sonora are creating serious trouble and Parada and Torres aren't tell the Sons the whole truth."

Vance cleared his throat, "I'm not calling about that, there's been activity at the cabin."

You took a deep breath, "is Piney dead?"

You could tell by the quiet the answer, "yes, I'm sorry. You were right to be worried, it was Morrow."

You shook your head, "do you have to the whole thing on video, with audio?"

There was the clicking of keys, "yep, you want us to send someone to get the bugs?"

"Please, I think it's time to move to the next phase, someone needs to tell Damon Pope that he's about to get an offer and someone needs tell Marcus Alvarez that he might be taking over the gun business."

Vance chuckled, "you haven't lost your edge, you want us to put Willows in place?"

"Yeah, I'm sure the hit's coming soon. Don't lie to Marcus, he's a good man. Pope will understand what's being asked of him, The Mayans need Pope's backing if they want to take on so many things at once."

More key clacking was followed up by Vance's reply, "we're almost done, and then you and your loved ones can have their lives back."

"You hope."

He huffed, "yeah, I hope. But if it all falls apart, we'd be happy to have you back."

Part 43

Please comment if you feel inclined, I love each one and they really keep me going.

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get-shiggy-with-it · 3 years

Text

collab masterlist

✧ pairing: villain!hawks x afab!reader

✧ word count: 5k

✧ warnings: this is like all smut, angst, ambiguous but happy ending, unhealthy relationships, mentions of transactional sex, reader has a healing quirk but it's really just for poetic purposes, reader has a vagina, no other gendered parts, oral sex (reader receiving), vague metaphorical drug reference, mentions of blood, mentions of wounds, mating press, soft sex (?), sorta, slight potential could be read as dubcon but they're both into it

✧ summary: for years you've stitched hawks back together when the world has torn him to shreds—and he always pays you back, though you can't help but start want more than he can give you.

✧ a/n: hey y'all this months theme was villain/hero swap with a shared opener! please go check out all the other wonderful works in this collab, there are so many talented writers/artists involved!! credit to @/lady-bakuhoe for the amazing intro. also bonus points if you catch the old aesthetic tumblr post references.

Breaking news: We have yet another report to add to the slew of attacks this month, this comes just days after we broadcast rumours of villains running rampant over the city. This spate of attacks has put the entire metropolitan area at a standstill, road closures and damaged property making it difficult for commuters to get to work in the morning. Road maintenance endeavour to do its best to keep the city running, but it seems futile when these attacks continue to increase. The entire city was brought to a standstill by the mysterious villain who has still not been named, but reports show they are nothing like we have ever experienced before.

Where are the heroes now? Who will save us from the terror overwhelming our city?

Every day the crime toll continues to rise and we have no one here to protect us. The Hero Public Safety Commission assured us earlier in the week that the crime rate would go down, that the top Heroes are out there protecting our city, but if so, where are they? Is it really safe to go out anymore, who can we trust? Would you put your life in the hands of a Hero today? When they have proved our streets are no longer safe. We still have no information on what is going on, or who is involved but we must remain observant. We will continue to report the latest news as we receive it, but for now, we must implore you to heed the warnings of the city-wide curfew that is soon to be implemented. If anyone has any information on these occurrences in the city please send them to us or contact the police, you can remain anonymous. The safety of our citizens is what is most important, stay vigilant and don’t go out unless it is absolutely necessary.

One thing we know for sure: we can no longer rely on Heroes to protect us. The streets of our once-great city are no longer safe, we are no longer safe.

***

You can only touch him when he’s dying.

That fact is made even more horrifically apparent as he stumbles through your open window—and how long has it been since you’ve slept with it closed?—dripping with blood and panting from his flight.

The T.V. blares in the background, filling your tiny apartment with incessant ramblings that only grow louder by the day, and you already know what they’re going to say before they say it. Because you see him, before the reporters stumble upon heroes in the wreckage—you see what they do to him before they’re warning the public of dangerous villains loose in the streets.

They spout off about failing heroes but you think they’ve done a pretty damn good butchers job. Red feathers matted together, sticky and brown, fall in tufts from his back. You burn with shameful jealousy at the thought of those who would call themselves heroes having laid hands on what is yours.

He isn’t really yours and you know that, though you often wish you could be a bit more delusional. It might not hurt so much then.

They call him a villain. They call him a threat to society.

But even faced with the truth spilling from him and onto your creaking floors, it is easy to forget what a ruthless predator the man before you becomes when he leaves these four walls.

Especially as he falls forward on heavy feet straight into your arms, outstretched and waiting. There are stains on your shirt but you’ve known the secret for getting blood out of clothing for years now. Cold water for the fabric, warm to wash away the grime on his lovely skin.

“Gonna need you to fix me up again, sweetheart,” Hawks mumbles into your shoulder where his forehead rests.

His breathing is even more ragged now, not just from the flight.

“I know,” you reply and your hands shake when they find the gaping wound at his side—wide and deeper than the ones before. “I know. Can you walk?”

He doesn’t respond but that mop of golden hair shifts a bit as he slings an arm over your shoulder and rests his weight. You don’t need to direct him to your bedroom. This is an old game you’re playing and he knows the steps.

So do you.

Though, you’re never sure if it's dread that fills you and makes your stomach knot and your knees weak. Or if it’s that awful, momentary rush of excitement at the prospect of being able to run your fingers over him, bare and giving you free reign.

As long as he’s bleeding out on your floor.

Then you can feel him.

When he’s dying and needs you.

Needs you to fix him.

But won’t ever let you close enough to finish the job the way you want to.

You comfort yourself in with the knowledge that at least he lets you this close. At least those thin, silver-skin scars are the unmistakable mark of your healing hands. At least you’ll always haunt him like the red feather down that sticks to your pillows or between your floorboards.

So you strip him carefully and try not to let his sculpted chest distract you from the work. Hawks is silent, such a model patient as always. Only grunting when your fingers move to knit together the ragged edges of his flesh.

This will leave a nasty mark, you know it already. But you can’t find it in yourself to mourn the loss of that lovely skin.

It will only make it harder for him to forget you.

You’re knelt beside him, laid out on a towel you keep at the edge of the bed. Blood will soak through to the sheets regardless, but you try your best. He takes a sharp breath, white teeth catching the back of his hand between them to stifle groans.

You wish there was more pleasure to it. That he was biting back moans for you instead of trying not to scream as his flesh pulsed and grew hot while it was rebuilt under your fingertips. So you indulge, pretend your hands are elsewhere, roaming his perfect waistline and pulling whimpers from him.

Your dangerous, villainous, predator Hawks sprawled on his back, wings spread and cumming onto his chest under you.

The sounds above you change, and you know it hurts—must be excruciating as bone is set back into place—but you chose to believe it’s because he’s trying to keep himself from screaming your name as he reaches his release.

Hawks, you’d croon to him—Hawks because you don’t know his real name. Don’t know who he was before he started this underground life of crime on the fringes of a society that called him a monster and then turned him into one.

He isn’t a monster in your bed, though he may cry like one.

Cry as you mold his flesh and try not to look him in the face. Try to pretend they are an overflow of some better emotion. And when those summer wheat field eyes roll back in his head and those horrible pretty noises stop, you push past the growing ache in your limbs until the skin under your palms is smooth and no longer leaking thick, red blood.

And you do your best to resist the itch to feel more of him while he can’t stop you. Even with your fingers numb from overexertion, you can’t help but fall back on your heels and long for the feeling of his cheek in your hand, or his chest on your face.

But your part of the transaction is done.

And your permission doesn’t extend past these limits.

And it pains you to wish harm on him.

But it hurts even more when he does not need you.

So you sit and hate yourself and hope that those heroes with their disgusting philosophies get their shit together just a bit more. So you won’t lose your purpose. So he’ll keep coming through your window, permanently open through rainstorms and snow and spring heat.

Hawks’ breath evens slowly, and you stay still as a watched painting—no shifting eyes or moving limbs.

You crave these times like water or warm food—constant and instinctively.

And this is the only time you’ll ever have them, hands so filled with pinpricks of fried nerves that you can barely feel the soft, relaxed muscle beneath them.

What a tragedy.

What an injustice—

You can only touch him when he’s dying.

***

“Hmm,” he groans, sitting up and wincing as the new flesh protests under his movements.

“You should rest for a bit longer.”

Hawks looks at you, stretched next to him on the mattress—a purposeful few inches of space left between your bodies. It’s both selfish and practical advice.

But he isn’t here for that kind of help.

“You know I can’t just be sittin’ on my ass,” he quips, flashing you that eyes closed, wide smirk that sets your heart hammering in your chest. “Can’t have anyone tracing me back here.”

“Normally I’d agree,” you don’t find it in yourself to give the words any bite, “but you were just actively bleeding out a few minutes ago.”

“Sure, but that was a few minutes ago,” he winks and you can already feel the bed shifting as he moves to settle himself over your hips, one toned thigh on either side to bracket you against the bed. “Now, let me pay you back for all that hard work, yeah sweetheart?”

You wish the way he peered up through those long lashes, gold eyes honed in on you like a piece of meat on a hook, didn’t make your face burn this much.

It doesn’t mean anything to him.

Because this arrangement really is transactional—so you have to get something out of it too. At least, that’s what he tells himself, you think. He doesn’t know that those scant few moments you hold his life between your fingers is more than enough payment.

It’s been this way since the very first time you stumbled across him, half dead in an alley. But then you think it might have just been a ‘heat of the moment’ sort of thing that had just stuck.

You heal him and he makes you writhe on the sheets with his tongue and his hands, until you're fucked into unconscious bliss and he can slip away without your prying eyes watching him go.

But you still aren’t allowed to touch Hawks, even when he reaches into those deep parts of you and molds them to fit only him.

“You don’t—” you start to protest, partly because you want to believe you don’t want it and partly because you want to hear him insist that he does.

“Shh,” Hawks presses a calloused finger to your mouth and it takes every ounce of strength not to suck it past your lips. “I don’t like leaving my debts unpaid.”

That’s the end of your determination for the night. So you try to relax into his touch as slides your bottoms off and tosses them to the floor. Try not to clench up under those fingers that spread your legs. He doesn’t like it when you squirm away, when you flinch from his hands.

You want to think it’s because he hopes you aren’t afraid of him—of what he is—like the rest are, and not because he wants to get it over with as quickly as possible.

You want to.

But he’s so hard to read, and your mind is not often a kind place.

“Mm, god I’m always so hungry after you patch me up baby,” Hawks licks his lips as he stares down at you. “You won’t mind if I eat you right?”

You cringe at how fast your head shakes.

“Mm, course you wouldn’t.”

You can hear the smirk in his voice, and he’s right though you resent it a bit that he’s got you pegged so easily.

But you’re weak, you’re no villain, you’re no hero.

And so you’ll never be able to resist him. But, damn, did you wish you had a name to cry out. Then at the very least, you could keep a part of him with you too. Then you’d have some to moan on the nights he goes uninjured and you have to bring yourself to lonely release, only thinking of him.

Of those wings spread above you like a burning, red sunset, obscuring the rest of the world from view with his blinding light.

“Hawks…” you hiss instead as he shifts your legs over his shoulders and lays his tender chest on the sheets. “Please.”

“Yeah, yeah, what’s it gonna be tonight then?” he asks, breath ghosting over the damp folds between your thighs.

“Thought you said you were gonna use your tongue,” you whine, impatient now for any scrap of attention he’s willing to give.

“If that’s what you want,” he presses a kiss into the crease of your leg and hip, nipping the delicate skin so you whine again. “It’s whatever you want, you know that.”

It isn’t though.

It’s not whatever you want.

You can pick the position, you can ask for his mouth or his fingers, but even then, they won’t go past your neck. Your hands must stay firmly knotted in the comforter and away from him while he works. Cause he is working. This is part of the job to him, it's only in your fantasies that he’s doing it simply for the hell of it.

Hawks nudges your embarrassingly soaked slit with his nose and hums at you, “So is that what you want? Want me to eat your pretty pussy, yeah?”

“Yes—ngh,” you don’t get much in past the confirmation.

He’s a busy man.

He doesn’t have time for your stupid, romantic day dreams.

So he dives right in, and it’s enthusiastic enough that you can convince yourself he simply wants you that badly.

Hawks tongue licks a long strip from your hole to your clit and sucks the little bud past his plush lips. They’re a lovely, soft pink against your skin and they make a mess of you in seconds. He starts up an even rhythm, drawing circles into the nerves that sing and have heat building up in you only seconds after he’s started.

You hate that you love how well he knows your body.

You hate that you only know his when it’s shutting down.

“You taste so good, you know that?” he mumbles, lapping at you and kneading your thighs. “Could live down here just drinking you every fucking day.”

He doesn’t always talk like that but you’re happy he is now. It distracts you from the deep, ingrained urge to yank him by the hair and taste yourself on his lips.

“Makes me wish I’d let those damn heroes get hits in more often,” he’s back to panting and you keen at the sound. “Want my fingers too?”

“Fuck yes,” you don’t even bother hiding the desperation anymore.

He deserves the boost to his ego. You’d shower him with praise if he’d let you, bathe him in warm words and press them into his skin with your tongue.

But he doesn’t let you.

Hawks’ hand on your thigh trails slowly against the sensitive skin until he’s pulling back to run his fingers through your folds to ease the stretch a bit as he pushes two inside. He knows you can take what he gives to you, knows you love the way he fills you up.

Your tingling hands ache to grab his head and force his lips back as he sits for a moment, eyes glued on the space where his fingers disappear into your body. He groans low at the wet sounds your bodies make at their joining. Your legs shake where they rest on him, the one other point of contact he’s allowed. Those deadly soft feathers brush your calves as he curls his fingers up and waits expectantly for the strangled cry he pulls from you.

“There it is,” his voice is so much lower when he speaks now. “Can’t exactly show you the real ones, but how ‘bout you let me make you see some stars, huh?”

He asks so much of you. So much. So often.

In fact, you don’t think you’ve ever actively asked him for a thing he hadn’t already offered in the few years you’d known him. Hawks does it all—the taking and the giving and the demanding.

And you’re simply along for the ride, holding on for dear life lest he drop you, let you plummet like rock to the barren ground.

Still, you are mortal and you crave and you will take what you can get.

“Mhm,” you whimper when his deft fingers increase their pace, not thrusting but grinding mercilessly into that delicious spot inside.

“You wanna cum now, sweet thing?”

Then, true to his villainous nature, Hawks latches his lips back onto your clit, wracking your body with waves of truly sinful pleasure. His tongue draws quick, perfect circles across the bud just how you like. You’ll never know why it feels so much better when it’s him touching you.

How he knows exactly what you want.

Most of it.

Then his other hand is reaching around your hip, thumb taking over to press down where his tongue had been. Panting for the third time, his gorgeous head rests on your thigh and he stares dead on into your eyes. That predator yellow gaze pins you to the pillows better than any hand could and he licks across his lips while you watch, moaning as he tastes you there.

You groan deep and unabashedly at the sight.

“What is it?” he’s teasing you, unable to keep that part of his cruelty hidden even now. “What do you want?”

You shake your head and wish you could turn away, flop against the mattress and writhe but you can’t. You just can’t give up this moment that’s etching itself into your retinas—like you’re staring head on at an eclipse, celestial and short-lived.

“Tell me,” Hawks whispers, nipping at your thigh and working his fingers harder on you. “Whatever you want, you’ll get it.”

And maybe it’s the sudden heat of the room, or the little breeze from his wings spreading defensively to block you from view of his nonexistent audience—the outside world maybe? To keep you, this secret indulgence, hidden from their prying hands. Or quite possibly it’s just your own weakness at the feet of years and years of loving—because you do, you love him, it’s clear by now that’s what this is—this man whose name you don’t know and whose eyes never seem to leave you even when he’s gone.

Maybe you simply crack under the pressure of keeping this awful, looming silence for too long.

You feel your lips split at the seams and it all comes rushing out in a polluted flood—a stagnant river of secrets.

“Let me touch you,” you gasp and close your eyes then just so you won’t have to see that grin slip from his beautiful face. “Please Hawks, let me touch you. I can’t do it anymore, just—I need to kiss you, I need more.”

All this time he hadn’t let up on pulling pleasure from your skin, but he stops now, bringing your release to a screaming halt.

The quiet that follows—devoid of fast breaths and wet slapping—is suffocating.

You wish you regretted the outburst, the waste of years worth of work to keep him coming back.

But you don’t.

Of course you will in a minute, when he slips away and doesn’t return.

But now it just feels as though that boulder of secrecy has been lifted off your chest and you can finally take in lungfuls of sweet, unhindered night air.

It’s only after that dreadful minute has passed and there are still hands on you—buried in you—that you dare to open your eyes again.

Hawks is staring blankly, an expression you’ve never seen before, so stark from the usual quirk of his lips and tilt of his chin. Blank, but calculating. You can see the gears clanking as his thoughts rush a mile a minute, faster than he’d ever dream of soaring over the city skyline.

He blinks once, twice, then again and you can see the redness blooming at the corners as his eyes grow glassy between each flutter of lashes. And then, as though moving through honey, he draws back from you, only to crawl up your body until your noses touch.

You hold your breath, lip caught between your teeth, but his slicked thumb comes up to pull it out of your gnawing reach. He strokes across the puffy skin, never meeting your gaze, until he slowly, slowly leans down.

It’s not really a kiss, more of an accidental brush, so little of your lips touch you could easily have imagined it. When he speaks again, you can feel him forming the words against you.

“I—” he starts and licks his lips and yours and you don’t think it’s an accident, “I can’t.”

It isn’t what you want him to say, but it’s better than a silent loss .

You know truth when you hear it.

“I know.”

And you do, you do know, you’ve always known. He’s darker when he’s not with you. You’ve seen the carnage he leaves behind broadcasted on screens, but it’s never stopped the ache before.

He can’t keep you the way you want, can’t have things that get in the way.

You can only touch him when he’s dying. You can heal him, reform his flesh and bone—pull him back from the brink—but you’ll never feel his chest against yours or his hair slipping through your fingers or have all of him buried inside you. He’ll never love you like you want him to.

It doesn’t stop you from wishing.

And apparently, it doesn’t stop Hawks from kissing you anyway.

“I can’t,” he repeats and it sounds so broken you almost think that wound has reopened and he’s going to start slipping away again.

But the only thing that slips is his tongue past your lips and tangling with your own.

And then the levee breaks.

It’s a sudden torrent of hands and legs knotting together like the torn edges of too many injuries. Hawks covers every available part of you like an addict seeking his fix. It’s breathless and uncoordinated but you’ve never felt more alive, alight, aflame.

He presses his lips to yours again, pulling away and then diving back in. Frantic hands pull you off the mattress until your back is against the headboard and he’s straddling your lap. You take the opportunity to sink your fingers into that goldenrod hair and it’s just as silky as you’d imagined it to be.

Hawks moans into your mouth, kissing you wildly, like the beast he is with teeth clacking and your tongue sucked between his lips.

“I can’t,” he keeps mumbling, between groans and hips grinding and hands grabbing, “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t— “

You wonder then which one of you he’s trying to convince.

But you don’t ask, just let your hands wander to the delicious curve of his ass on your thighs and squeeze, rolling his bulge against you. His fingers push and proud, ghosting across your chest and stopping to pinch your nipple. He drinks down the whimpers you let out, letting his lips wander your jaw and throat, sucking bruises—leaving his own scars on you—as he goes. He pushes you back down to the pillows so his lips can continue their work, latching onto the quickly hardening bud and suckling lightly. His groan sends little shockwaves through you and he looks up with brows furrowed like he’s in pain with how good it all feels.

“I’m sorry,” he says and it’s so soft you barely hear it between licks at your chest.

“No,” you finally find it in you to respond, shaking your head and pulling him back to your lips.

“I’m sorry,” he says again while you nip at his earlobe and down his jaw, tight pants yielding under your hands as they’re tugged away so he’s just as bare as you.

“No,” you shake your head and any response dies on his tongue as you dig your fingers into the feathers at the base of his wings and pull him forward.

Hawks lets out a choked gasp as his length, bare, hard, and leaking glides across your cunt. Any other time, you’d have liked to savor this moment. Get on your knees and worship his pretty cock—and you know it's pretty, just from your short glimpse. He’s long and perfectly thick, just how you dreamed he would be. The cute tuft of blond curls at his base is course in the best way as you trail your fingers through it to take him in your palm.

“Ahh,” he keens, arching above you with his head thrown back as you stroke him for the first time.

It’s been so long, you're not sure how you ever resisted this before. Not with how heavy and warm he is in your fist.

“Hawks,” you moan, sucking at the dip in his collarbone and moving to bite at his nipple. “Hawks, please.”

“I—” you think he might protest but you flick your thumb over the tip and it pours precum to help the slide of your fingers.

He’s already got those powerful arms hooked under your knees, all he has to do is lean forward and sink into that tight, awaiting heat, and he knows it. You can see the resolve cracking.

“Hawks,” you beg again. Because you are begging, that’s what this is.

And he looks at you, drool slipping from the corner of his mouth and brows all bunched up with his head shaking.

“Hawks.”

His hands grip the underside of your thighs and knock your hand from his dick.

“Hawks.”

His forehead comes down to rest against yours, eyes squeezed shut and red at the edges. You feel the sting at the corners as if they were your own.

“Hawks.”

You can only touch him when he’s dying.

Is he dying now?

Are you killing him?

“Hawks.”

His breath hitches, whatever he might have said is long gone when the head of his cock catches against your entrance.

“Hawks—”

He sinks in to the hilt all at once and the last utterance of his name is a yelp. Your walls clamp down hard around the intrusion, so much bigger than his fingers, so hot and long and thick as he pulses inside you.

There are no words after that.

No names, no refusals, just his face pressed up on yours as he pushes your thighs to your chest and rolls his hips, fucking you evenly into the mattress.

Not soft or slow or overly rough.

Though it is all of those things at once as well.

Hawks has always been full of contradictions. It makes sense that this is too.

Both your eyes stay open, lips brushing and sharing breath as he slips a hand back down to your clit and starts those perfect circles up again.

He doesn’t ask you questions now. Just stares in your eyes and sinks his cock into your over and over until you feel fuller, more complete than you ever have in the whole of your life.

There’s no warning leading up to the end. You feel the crest approaching, the coil waiting to snap low in your belly and you don’t dare take your eyes off his face. You need to commit the entirety of this moment to memory. Just in case.

Just in case it never happens again.

Or worse, it happens over and over until it doesn’t.

Until you run out of chances to touch him.

Until he comes to you too far gone.

“Oh fuck,” he mutters and that’s all the warning you get.

All the warning you have the strength to listen to as you tumble over the edge, waves of rolling pleasure burning under your skin. You clench hard around his cock as his hips stutter in their pace, thrusting unevenly as you gush and he spills rope after rope of hot release deep into you.

And you’d been wrong before, because this was full. This was whole, your stilling bodies pressed together at every point with his cock still hard and twitching as your walls milked him of cum that warmed you from the inside out.

This is what you would die for.

***

Later when you stumble into unwilling wakefulness, there are hands tucking a thin sheet over your bare skin.

Hawks has pulled himself from you after resting like you’d told him he should. He’s dressing, though not hurriedly, and you can’t find it in your jelly bones to move or stop him.

You’re both silent, even when he looks down to find your eyes alert and raking over him—costume donned and wings prepared for flight.

His face is drawn in a way that might have been resentment. Maybe towards you for breaking his resolve, maybe at himself for indulging in what he cannot have.

I can’t.

You hear the words as clear as though he’d just said them.

I can’t.

Can’t have you. Can’t forget his purpose. Can’t have gentle things.

Hawks is a villain, first and foremost, above all else and that includes you.

So you don’t move to stop him as he walks softly through your door. You just watch as he makes his way to the open window and perches on the ledge. He does look back, only briefly, to see you draped across the sheets, head resting on your arm and staring at him as he leaves you.

The ghost of that cheeky grin crawls its way onto his face before he tips backwards off the landing and into the night sky. He winks once before the indigo of the night swallows him like the maw of a leviathan. The city has teeth and it will chew him up and spit him back out into your arms soon enough.

So you’re content to wait.

You know this isn’t the last time. That he’ll come back to you as he’s always done. And offer you more and more of himself each time.

Because you can only touch him when he’s dying.

And this world is nothing if not determined to kill him.

So you can keep your purpose.

And by extension, you can keep him.

#hawks x reader #hawks x y/n #keigo takami x reader #villain!au #bnha fanfiction #tw blood #tw dubcon #hawks angst #hawks smut #bnha smut #mha smut #bee.writes

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tastyykpop · 4 years

Text

𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

•pairings: enemy, barista and student!jaemin x student and barista!reader

♡𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑡♡

<next>

•warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming, crying kink, hair pulling, choking, small praising, small size kink, degradation (slut, whore), dumbification (sexual and non sexual use) nanas kinda mean :( but gets a lil nicer :), jaemin refers to himself as nana a lot mostly when they do the dirty, bulging kink, pet names (princess, baby, baby girl, little girl, pretty girl), unprotected sex (please be safe), slight face slapping (he slaps her once), rough sex clearly, some sexual tension, I hope i got everything

You were fuming!

The boy in front of you not even batting an eyelash, just laughing at the mess dripping down your face.

You smelt like an iced americano.

People around you held their hands to their mouths in shock and others tried to hold back their laughter. Some even pointed at you or gave sympathetic looks.

It wasnt like people were surprised anymore. Jaemin always had something up his sleeve for you. But he never went as far as pouring his coffee on you.

"Aw poor baby. Do you need a napkin?" He faked sympathy with a pout and his friends began laughing. You just got up and walk by them, making sure to bump into jaemins shoulder on your way through.

It was almost everyday that Jaemin would do something so uncalled for. It was like he was made to push your buttons. Even as you're walking out of the college building, you can still hear the boy laughing at you. Or maybe it was the other students. Either way, you wanted to kill him.

As you trudged towards your car, a sense of relief washed over you. A great happiness that only comes when you finished your classes and could go home. Only this happiness stayed for a good 2 hours until you have to go to your part time job at the cafe with your favorite person of course. But its not like you can quit. You need the money so you can live and get the education you need, no matter how hard it is being with him.

It was then when you sat in your car and the squishing in the seat made your face curl into a scowl, only made you think of ways to get away with murder. It was gross really. The seats were sticky, plus your hair and clothes were sticking to you like lip gloss. A shower would be perfect right about now.

"Hi y- oh..." Your roommate, jimin, stared at your messy state. Giving you a good up and down before shrugging his shoulders, "jaemin?"

You sighed, walking over to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, "Who else? Its always him."

Jimin gave you a small smile and came closer as if ready to hug you but didn't because he didn't want to get sticky. "You know, maybe you should quit that job."

"No."

He groaned and snatched the water that you were about to sip, "Why? You'd only see jaemin in school. And you wouldnt have to stick with his bickering in work." He huffed, shaking his head, "Girls are so difficult sometimes."

You tried leaping up to grab the bottle from jimin, but all he did was hold it above his head. You stomped on his foot in return. Jimin huddled over and you snatched the bottle, smirking with victory as you put it to your lips.

"You fucking snake." Jimin hissed in pain.

A laugh fell from your lips as you walked by him, completely ignoring his words and his pain, "Im gonna take a shower."

Once you got to your room, the first thing you did was grab your work clothes, a towel, and underwear and got ready for the warm shower.

After you switched on the water and let it heat up, you stepped in and immediately felt at peace as the water cascaded over your body, cleaning off the almost dried coffee. Your hair felt lighter, like a feather and your fingers could now slip through the strands easily without an issue. The scent of your body wash overpowered the coffee smell and you felt much better. Water, soap, and coffee were beginning to fill the drain as you finished washing up. You rolled your eyes at the sight of the murky water. What a bastard.

For once you were actually happy to wear your work clothes after what had happened earlier. The clothes actually felt comfortable and jimin was becoming more and more confused as to why you were hugging yourself with a huge smile on the couch.

"No one should be that happy after a shower." He started flipping through channels on the t.v.

"Dont tell me how to feel, I dont smell like jaemins coffee anymore." You gushed overdramtically. Jimin could only role his eyes.

"Please...you act like he's a demon of some sort."

You squinted your eyes at jimin and flared your nostrils, "he is. Hes a nasty, dumb, annoying, self centered-"

"Okay okay I get it! You hate jaemin! The funny thing is you can never get his name out of your mouth." Everything stopped and your head snapped in jimins directions.

"What are you saying?" A frown found itself on your face, jimin leaned closer.

"Im saying that maybe you might like him."

You shrieked in disgust, blocking your ears with your hands. Jimin laughed at your reaction. Almost falling off the couch in the process. "Ew! Gross! Why would you even think that!"

"Like I said, you can never get his name out of your mouth. I think its pretty obvious you like him." He was still giggling at you except your face was anything but happy, more grossed out at how he thought you could like such a person

"I can't stand you. I'm leaving for work." You stood up and jimin did nothing to stop you from going. Even though you still had about 15 minutes until you normally leave. "Ill be back at 9." The door slammed behind you, leaving jimin alone with another laughing fit.

You got in the car and drove off to your work, still trying to come up with a reason as to why jimin is saying all this. Sure maybe you talk about jaemin a little lot but that doesn't mean you like him. Its very much the opposite and jimin should know that. It only frustrates you the more you think about it. Liking someone like jaemin? Please. That would be your nightmare.

As you pulled up to the cafe, there were only a few other cars parked. Few were from other workers but the majority were most like customers or people just trying to get a free parking space. Lucky for you, there were many open spaces, unlike when you come later and they're filled. Maybe leaving earlier wasnt such a bad idea. It saved you the 3 minute walk.

"Y/n! You're just on time!" One of your coworkers, irene, called out as you stepped inside the shop. "We need help back here!" You had no time to even begin to say your shift hasn't started yet when irene took you by the hand and dragged you to where the coffee was being made. "We have a bunch of online orders coming in so can you please help us with the coffee and food?" She tossed you a brown apron for you to put on and you nodded, trying to get your brain to speed up with everything in the world.

It was so quiet when you walked in that you never even realized that the back was busy. Coffee cups were filled and put into trays for orders, food was being heated or baked. It was a chaotic place right now and all you could do was help. So as fast as you could, you began with the first order on the screen. A large mocha with extra extra sugar, whipped cream, and chocolate curls. Easy enough you thought as you reached for a cup but a hand beat you to it.

Your eyes looked up at the person in front of you and just when you thought everything was going fine, it wasn't, "What are you doing here so early?" You asked bitterly.

"I always come in early. What are you doing here so early?" Jaemin asked whilst holding a death grip on the cup.

"Just felt like coming early." You muttered, watching as jaemin turned away with a scoff, quickly cutting the conversation short. "Bastard."

Jaemin was busy making what you were originally going to do, so you looked for another order to get ready. It was just two cake pops and a small strawberry banana smoothie. Something you've been craving recently from the lack of sweetness and fruit in your day to day life.

The cake pops and smoothie were quick to make and were soon sent off to the customer. You happily beamed and wished them good day once they left.

After then there was a familiar face with a friend right next to him, he was quite handsome you must say. He was indeed so handsome that he just looked unreal. "Hey jimin. Whose this?" You nodded towards the bright black haired man.

"This is taemin! He wanted some coffee so I brought him- hey stop staring at him!" Jimin snapped you out of your trance and taemin chuckled.

"Its okay shes cute." He eye smiled, showing off his perfectly white teeth. He's definitely not real.

Jimin tsk'd, "Until you get to know her."

"Yeah yeah... whatever." You smiled at him, completely oblivious to what he just said.

They both ordered and took a seat next to the window. You were still staring at taemin with your head in your hand until someone tapped your shoulder, "Who are they?" Jaemins voice rang in your ears, making you stand up straight.

"Thats my roommate, jimin, and his friend taemin." You glanced back at the boys, mainly at taemin and just stared like he was your first crush.

"Quit staring your gonna scare him away." Jaemin said earning himself a chuckle from you.

You stuck your tongue out, "He called me cute."

The boy smirked from ear to ear and leaned in close to your face, "He was lying." You grumbled and pushed him away from you, getting annoyed by his presence very quickly.

"Jaemin and y/n, get back to work we have orders to do!" Irene called out. Both of you quickly returning to your stations and getting things ready.

"Look at him. Hes basically waiting for me to come over to him." Seulgi, another person in this school you dispise, said as she looked at jaemin in the back of the room. She wasn't very quiet either considering you were only a few seats away from him. So it only meant that jaemin could hear her, but chose to ignore it. Typical boy.

"Honestly. He looks so good today too." Sana, her best friend, commented.

"Oh and did you hear what he was planning on doing today to y/n? Apparently he's gonna-"

"Class get back in your seats, we have much to discuss." The professor stood in the front of the class. Everyone shifted and moved to their appropriate places and waited for the teacher to begin. Unlike you, who was wondering what seulgi was going to say next. If its something worse than coffee being poured on your head, you may just have to bury yourself six feet under after this.

As you were taking notes something flung towards your head and hit you on the side, looking over was jaemin with a smirk was he held his fingers in a sling shot shape. A rubber band was laying on your lap. Then another one. One even hit your cheek creating a small smack sound as you winced in pain. Oh you desperately wanted to get out of this seat and punch the boy in the face.

"Excuse me sir!" You called out, raising your head. The whole class looked at you and your cheeks began to heat up. "May i go to the restroom?" The professor nodded and you headed out. Not until you stopped in your tracks from a loud smack to your butt, causing the whole class to turn around again.

Jaemin was enjoying this, the way you stared at him with wide eyes and open mouth, made him just want to do it again. He never thought this reaction from you would be so entertaining and he tried his best not show it, with only a small smirk covering his face.

You rushed out of the room, faster than ever and leaned against the nearest surface you could find. Not only were you questioning reality, but also why jaemin just did that.

"That little bitch." You said to yourself as you paced back and forth in the hallway, staring at the ground.

"Excuse me?" Jaemin voice rang in your ears as you looked up with a angry red face. Steam was even coming out of your ears and nose. "Did you just call nana a bitch?" He put his hands to his chest and pouted, "Little girl you need to learn some manners." Jaemin tilted his head to the side and began walking forward.

"Shut up." You had nothing else to say as you grit your teeth, looking at the ground.

Jaemin didnt like that and grabbed the back of your neck to make you look at him, "What? Did your stupid head stop thinking? Your normally so chatty for nana what happened?"

"Jaemin i-" you cut yourself off as you felt jaemin grip the back of your neck tighter causing you to moan in pain.

"Stupid girl." Jaemin whispered, forcefully pushing you away. It was not strong enough to make you fall but at least stumble.

You glowered, earning yourself a chuckle from him. "What will it take for you to leave me alone!?"

"Bring this to table 15 please! Thanks!" Irene smiled as she handed you a small cup of iced coffee and you took it, taking it to its designated place. What you didn't except was to see taemin again, gleaming up at you.

"Hi y/n." He smiled and you tried to remain calm.

God how is someone so beautiful?

"Hey, I didnt except you to come back." You returned the warm smile and started to play with the apron around your waist.

Taemin giggled, "I actually quite like this place, its cozy." He began to take a sip from the straw, eyes still trained on you. If only you weren't so awkward with him, you wouldve found something to say other than staring at him and indulging in the beauty before you. But lucky for you someone behind the counter called for you, quickly averting your attention back to work.

The next order was a shake, so you grabbed the correct ingredients and began using the blendor, when someone came next to you, doing the same thing "You seem like your having fun flirting around." The unwanted conversation with jaemin began, "makes nana kind of jealous."

"Hm funny." You ignored him and continued blending the ice cream.

Jaemin casually rolled his eyes and glanced down at your nonchalant face before returning back to the blender, "you know you really do piss me off."

You sneered and snickered to yourself, "what are you gonna do about it?"

"I was thinking of fucking you dumb or until you know your place but maybe thats a bit too rewarding."

The cup was removed and set aside from the blender with your hands placed on your hips, "Im sorry what?"

"Did I stutter?" Jaemin raised an eyebrow and also put the cup down. You went silent, not knowing whether or not to just laugh it off or quickly run away. "And I'm still waiting on my apology."

"One, I am not going to apologize to your bitchy ass. Two, even if I did let you, you could never 'fuck me dumb', it just wouldn't happen. Now stop trying to get in my pants."

Jaemin opened then closed his mouth about to say something, but didn't and just put on a sweet smile, "Go take these to table 7 for nana." He said like he was testing yoj.

"Why? You made them."

"Nana told you to do something little girl, now do it." Jaemins sweet smile was still plastered on his face yet it intimidated you enough to do as he said.

Taemin was long gone when you walked out and you were kind of sad as you weren't able to say goodbye before he left. You placed the shake down on the table and was ready to walk away when you heard your name being called.

"Y/n? You work here?" Seulgis voice spoke as you turned around. Both her and sana were looking at you with shit eating grins.

"Doesn't jaemin also work here seulgi?" Sana asked the girl in front of her and seulgi looked as if she got the brightest idea.

"Oh yeah! Y/n can you get jaemin over here? Pretty please?" She asked sweetly yet with a hint of sourness and you listened, not feeling like ignoring her at the moment.

You told jaemin that seulgi and sana were out front looking for him and he nonchalantly went out without question. Leaving you to do some of the work alone, which you didn't mind considering its jaemin, the annoying bastard who won't leave you alone, but he does help you whenever you need it. And right now, it was a bit busy, and you needed it.

After doing 4 more online orders and sending them off through the driveway, jaemin finally came back with a scowl on his face looking ready to beat someone up. "What the hell is wrong with you!?" He raised his voice only loud enough for you to hear. But you were quite confused on what was happening.

"What are you talking about?" You asked, tilting your head to the side like a puppy.

Jaemin groaned, "I knew you were fucking dumb but come on y/n! Why is seulgi covered in the shake i gave you?"

You paused for a moment, unable to answer that. Is he assuming you spilt her shake on her? Why would you even do that in the first place. Yeah you don't like her, but you're not going to stoop to her or his level. "I dont know."

He slammed his hand on the wall near your head, startling you a bit, "You dont know huh?" You shook your head slowly. "Seulgi and sana both said you purposefully spilt the shake on seulgi. Now answer me honestly. Is that true?" You shook your head again, feeling really small and helpless under his strong gaze.

"I-i didnt spill t-the skake." You muttered quietly.

He inhaled sharply, "Then who did huh? Or maybe you don't know because you're so dumb."

"S-stop..." you frowned, looking down at floor, but jaemin had other plans and made you look up at him. A single tear slide down your cheek and you swear you saw a small grin appear on his face.

"Tell nana what happened." His voice became softer as he swiped away the stray tear on your face.

You huffed, still afraid that he'd do something to you although you knew he wouldnt purposely cause you pain. "W-well she asked me to go get you, which I did, a-and her shake was perfectly fine when I left."

"Are you saying she purposely spilt the shake on herself to make me angry at you?"

"Y-yes."

"Ill believe my little girl for now, but if I find out you are lying, you will be in big trouble got that?" Jaemin lifted his hand off the wall and proceeded to walk back out of the room. Leaving you shocked at his words and still frightened by an angry jaemin.

You went to the cash register once jaemin left to get ready to count the bills until you heard jaemin and seulgi arguing. Lucky for them, no one but you and him were working right now. Irene went home earlier and the normal crew always leave around 6:30, leaving just you and jaemin.

"It was only a prank nana. No need to get so worked up. And besides you didn't even prank her today, be glad I did for you." Seulgi said smiling at the boy in front of her.

Jaemin physically cringed when he heard his nickname roll off her tongue, "you didn't have to do that."

You stood there watching, astonished how jaemin was standing up for you. Hes supposed to hate you. Jaemin didn't even bother going with the girls when they offered him a ride, instead he stayed with you and even helped close. Something he normally doesn't do because he leaves before you and gives you all the hard things to do.

"Hurry up and finish." Jaemin spoke. A little bit of anger still laced in his voice.

"Whats your rush?"

He sighed, "I wanna go home. Plus I can't stand this place right now. I'm pissed."

You finished wiping down that last table and walked over to him, "Just go home then."

"Not without you."

You gave him a dirty look, "im not going home with you."

Jaemin leaned down, his face only inches from yours and whispered, "Remember what I said earlier hm? I wanna fuck you dumb." He then grabbed your waist bringing you closer to him, if that was possible, "Can I do that pretty girl? Can nana fuck you so hard you won't even remember anything but my cock?" You were so lost in your mind that everything became a blur. Jaemins words sounded so sweet but were so lewd. And you were so close to kissing him until he put his finger on your lips, "But you have to wait." You frowned and were only getting more angry by the second. You went from not wanting anything to do with jaemin to just about ready to beg him to kiss you. Was it that easy for him to get in your head? Or were you so sex deprived that now jaemin seemed somewhat interesting?

You laid on jaemins bed getting bored with the constant teasing. He never did anything but that. Jaemin would get close to your lips and back away as you chased him. Hed chuckle and coo at you for being so desperate. But that wasn't the point of all the teasing. He really just wanted you to beg him to kiss you. No words will come out of his mouth telling you to beg, he just excepted it to happen sooner or later. But youre too stubborn to do so, so you grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to kiss him, catching him by surprise.

Jaemins hands gripped your wrists and pulled them off his face, pinning them to the bed, "You didnt even ask to kiss me." Jaemin pulled away, raising his eyebrow high, "Dont you think thats a bit mean."

"So was teasing me, but I let you continue." You huffed, trying to free your wrists from his death grip but it was no use.

"You dont have a say on whether i continue or not. I'm in charge here and you take what I give you, understand?" You rolled your eyes. It was your intention to make jaemin angry. You wanted to push his buttons.

What you didnt know was that not answering jaemin correctly would earn you a slap to the face. And jaemin was not even fazed by it.

"Dont roll your eyes and answer nana." Jaemin smiled. "Can you say 'yes nana'?"

"Y-yes nana."

"Good girl." Jaemin muttered and began slowly kissing your jawline down to your neck, sucking here and there creating shades of purple and red marks. Oh how he loved the marks he was leaving.

You so desperately wanted to grip onto jaemins hair and pull it but he never budged his hands, only tightening his grasps. As he continued attacking your neck, you began to lift your hips up to get some sort friction. Jaemin noticed and shifted so that his thigh was in between your legs and rubbing against your clothed core. A spew of quiet moans left your lips but you wanted more. Jaemin was going to soft and slow for your liking.

"I thought you were going to fuck me dumb?" You said and jaemin lifted his head to give you a quick kiss on the lips.

"Patience baby. You aren't ready yet." He let go of your wrists and took your shirt off. The cold air made you shiver and jaemin chuckled. "I wanna make you cum at least 2 times before I fuck you."

"Then stop talking and do it." You replied, pushing your hips up to rub against his thigh, but they were pushed back down on the bed.

"Didnt I say to take what I give you?" Your head slowly moved up and down and jaemin smiled, "so why arent you happy with what nana gives you?"

"I want more..." you sighed as he started to slide your pants and panties off, discarding them somewhere in the room. His mouth slowly started kissing your inner thighs and you could feel your heat dripping with anticipation. You whined for more but only got a slap to the thigh telling you to be quiet. Needless to say you didn't listen and continued to try to get him closer to where you needed him most but pulling his hair.

Jaemin groaned grabbing your wrist again and pushed it away roughly. His patience was wearing out. You were more stubborn than he thought, but that doesn't mean he can't still break you. "Next time you do that, I'll flip you over and beat your ass till its purple." Your breath hitched and as much as you were tempted, you wanted to be able to sit for a few days so you stayed put and kept your hands to yourself.

But the desperation was getting to you and you wanted relief which jaemin wasnt giving you until you felt his two fingers circling around your clit. "P-please jaemin." You moaned as he flicked your clit with his middle finger. Then soon enough he stuck two fingers inside you. Your pussy automatically clenching around his digits as he moved at a steady in and out pace.

It felt so good. His fingers felt so good. They made your body twist in pleasure as more moans left your mouth. Jaemin was watching your face closely as it contorted with pleasure. He loved seeing your eyebrows bunched together, so focused on the way his fingers worked inside you.

"My pretty slut. Taking nanas fingers so well." He gushed, still watching your face. Jaemin could feel himself get even more painfully hard but he didn't want to fuck you just yet. He meant it when he said he wanted you to cum 2 times. So he picked up the speed with his fingers, your hands landing on his forearm that was resting on near your hip. "Are you gonna cum for nana princess?"

You frantically nodded your head as a wave of pleasure washed over you. You could feel your cum leak out of you as jaemin leaned down and began eating away at your cunt.

"J-jaemin! So...go-good!" Your head flew back as his tongue sucked on your clit and a loud moan filled the room.

Jaemin smirked against your heat, "I haven't even fucked you yet and your already sounding like a dumb whore. Its so easy to break you princess."

"N-no its j-ju-...." you whimpered as your brain wasnt even trying to help you function right. His tongue was extraordinary. "Mmmm."

"Aw my dumb little princess is so cute." He muttered diving back into lapping at your soaked cunt. It was almost as if on cue and without warning, you were cumming again. Jaemins hasty tongue took it all. Groaning at the taste of you in his mouth.

He sat up over you, grabbing your neck, pulling you into a deep kiss. You tasted yourself on his tongue. Deepening the kiss by grabbing the back of his hair, jaemin couldnt help but moan a bit as his cock brushed against your thigh. He felt big. Bigger than the few guys you've been with and you were ecstatic.

You tugged on jaemins pants and shirt as a way to tell him to take them off and he did after getting off of you and sitting on the edge of the bed. His abs were more defined than you thought and when his cock sprung free, your mouth started watering. Jaemins smirk only grew watching you stare. He was starting to get cocky

"What? You wanna suck my cock?" Jaemin asked sweetly.

"Yes please." You reached over to try and touch him but he didn't allow you. And smacked your hand away. It was a way for him to tease you and you hated it.

"So kind for nana now. Ealier you were so cock hungry that you decided to be a brat. Did nana finally break you?" Jaemin whispered as he moved a piece of hair out of your face, looking at you with fill admiration.

"No you didn't break me. But I wanna suck you off." You whined as jaemin picked you up and sat you just above his cock, the tip teasing at your entrance.

"Too bad. Now I want you to sit." Jaemin said looking into your eyes. You obeyed with a little hesitation. His cock was surely going to hurt you so you took it slowly and started lowering your hips. "Fuck...thats a good girl." Jaemin praised, watching his cock dissappear between your legs and your tummy get full with his cock. "My baby's so tiny you can see my cock in your belly." He said, pushing down on the area where he was imprinted in you.

Slowly you started moving, lifting your hips up and down. You were wet enough that he could easily slide in and out with no problem.

Jaemins head fell back as he sighed with relief, grunting as you picked up the pace, "So tight for nana." He whispered and you moaned back loudly. His cock stretched every inch of you to the point where it felt like you'd split.

"More more more." You whined against jaemins neck, gripping his shoulders tightly. Carefully jaemin flipped you both over so he was on top and continued pounding into your destroyed cunt. He kept a hand around your neck squeezing it every so often as a choked out moan left your throat.

His cock was so deep and fast that you couldn't think straight. You kept blabbering about his cock. Only thing on your mind was how nice he felt inside you. Jaemin bit his lip as he smirked at you, grabbing your hair and bringing your face close to his, "Now will you admit that I fucked you dumb and say your nanas dumb slut?"

"Y-yes, I'm na-nanas dumb sl-slut." You cried, tears falling down your face from how good he felt inside and if you thought jaemin couldn't go any faster, he did. His thrusts were hard and rough, sure enough to hurt your thighs tomorrow as he pounded relentlessly. "So close." Your voice came out choked as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You held on to jaemins hand that was on your neck as he helped you with your orgasm.

Jaemin wasnt far behind you with his and groaned loudly, "fuck, where do you want it princess?"

"I-inside." You moaned as the feeling of hot cum was shot inside you. Jaemins hips kept moving him through his orgasm until he slowly came to a stop. Both of you panted loudly, there were even a few tears falling down your cheek here and there.

Jaemin slowly pulled out, making sure not to hurt you, and he laid beside you. "You did so well." He kissed your forehead. "Cmon ill carry you to bathroom so we can take a bath." He said picking up your worn out naked figure with so much care. Making you forget he was your enemy.

#nct smut #nct #na jaemin #na jaemin smut #kpop #kpop smut #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #nct u #jaemin #jaemin nct dream #jaemin nct #nct dream smut #wayv smut #nct 127 smut

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sqrensq · 3 years

Text

𝐃 𝐈𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

-> never thought i'd be writing this, but as requested a me x alex fic.

cw: nsfw ( minors & females dni ), verbal humiliation (name calling such as slut and whore), face slapping, fingering, choking, spanking, unprotected sex, sir k.

taglist: @benis-boi1

“Strip,” Alex's voice commanded. Soren could tell from the tone of it that it was going to be one of those nights; the nights they craved constantly, where he surrenders themselves to his dominance.

They already felt aroused as their cunt tingled at the thought of what was in store while their mind ran away with him.

“I’m sorry, did you not understand? Do I have to dumb it down so that you’ll know what I meant?” He was using the tone of voice that people would use when they were speaking to a little kid, and they're instantly craving more as it cut them out of their reverie. “You’re going to take off your clothes and get on your knees.”

“Sorry sir,” they mumbled, their cheeks heating up with a mixture of embarrassment and arousal. His words seemed to travel directly to their core. Soren pulled their shirt over their shoulders and threw it at the chair in the corner of the room. Their pants and briefs soon followed, and they toed off their boots and socks. They slid down to their knees in front of him so fast that it’s a wonder they didn’t get carpet burn.

“Well,” Alex mused, cocking a half smirk down at them, “it’s great to see the little slut doesn’t have a problem with doing what their told.”

They shuddered, eyes closing slightly and legs unconsciously spreading. His voice was by far his greatest weapon, deadlier than any gun or blade. And here he was using it against them so casually. He made it all sound so simple.

“My my, aren’t you just an eager little whore,” he squatted down to look them in their eyes, making them feel even smalldespite the fact they were taller than he was. He slipped a hand out and caressed their cheek; a silent gesture to show that this was just a scene, and under the tough exterior Alex loved them. He slipped his thumb into their mouth and they eagerly sucked it in. Soren's tongue lapped at the pad of it, and their head bobbed slightly while they sucked. He let them roll their tongue around it for another few seconds before he was taking it out and slapping them across the face.

It wasn’t hard, enough to leave a bruise shape of his hand but nowhere near as strong as it could’ve been had he put even half his strength into it. They shivered and clenched their thighs together to try and relieve some of the pressure.

“Do you know why I hit you?” He asked, and his voice was deep and gravelly.

“No, sir.”

“That was because you’re mine. You’re my nasty little slut, and if I want to hit you, I will. And you don’t have a problem with that, do you?” The way he was grinning at them made them want to cum right there on the spot.

They wordlessly shook their head. You weren’t sure if anything you said would make sense at this point. Your cheek was still tingling from the hit and your knees were starting to grow uncomfortable from the rough carpet.

The most present sensation out of everything they were feeling right now, though, was the ache between their thighs. They just wanted him to bury himself inside of you, but they wanted, no, needed to hear him demean them more. This was what they craved at the end of a hunt. Not candles and rose petals, but bruises and tear tracks. And Alex knew that. Hell, he craved it as well. That’s what made the two go so well together. They both understood and reciprocated each other’s needs.

He stood back up to his full height and slowly unbuckled his belt, and Soren wouldn’t be surprised if their tongue was hanging out eagerly at this point. He pulled himself out of his pants and sighed at the relief of being taken out of the tight confinement.

He rumbled out a laugh that was low and menacing when he saw how eagerly they eyed his cock. He lazily stroked it, twisting his hand at the head and thumbing at the building precum. They licked their lips, eyeing how shiny the head was growing.

“Look at how desperate you are for me,” he whistled. “It’s not often you get a whore as pretty as you for free.”

They whined, torn between looking up at his face or his cock. “Please, Alex, please let me suck your cock. I need to-”

“Oh, you need to?” Now he was full blown laughing, no quiet chuckle. Their face flushed even more and they were pretty sure there was a puddle on the floor in between their legs. "I’m in charge here. So why don’t you sit there and look pretty.“

Soren felt embarrassed, they were completely bare and exposed on the floor while he stood tall and imposing over you, fully clothed except for his dick which he was currently fucking into his fist. They leaned back to sit on their heels to get more comfortable, deciding to just sit still and wait him out.

They could tell he was getting close, theu you idly slid a hand between your legs. If he wasn’t going to touch them, they'd touch themselves.

"Oh no,” he laughed when he looked down and saw your hand between their legs.

Alex let go of his cock and reached down, grabbing them from under their arms and tossing them onto the bed. Theu landed with a light bounce, chest heaving as you watched him stalk over to you.

“The only person who gets to touch this slutty pussy,” he broke off to cup it, “is me. I own you, little boy.”

His hand jerked back only to crack forward, landing an open-palmed smack to their cunt. They let out a cry and clenched their legs tightly around his hand to prevent it from happening again. “Alex!”

His hand slid up and down between their thighs, moving easily from the amount of slick they'd managed to produce ever since they walked into the bedroom. His fingertips brushed against their clit and they bit their lip to keep themselves from moaning out. He pushed their legs open and climbed in between them to keep Soren from forcing them closed again, and then he traced two of his fingers around their hole.

“This what you want?” He asked with an eyebrow quirked up.

They nodded eagerly.

“Yeah? You want my fingers in this slutty cunt?” They nodded again and planted their feet on the bed to hold their legs up. He slid two fingers in and they groaned at the stretch. He shallowly thrusted them in and out, not even attempting to brush them against their sweet spot. This was about stretching them out for him, not their pleasure.

They gripped the sheets on each side of them as he added a third finger. It burned slightly but it was probably the most comforting feeling in the world to them, full of promises of what was going to come.

“Think you’re ready?”

They nodded eagerly. “Yeah, Alex. I’m fucking ready.”

His hand slapped their cunt again. “Watch your tone, whore.”

They winced. “Sorry.”

He stood up to kick his pants and underwear off and flung his shirt somewhere behind him before practically diving back up and onto the bed.

They felt the blunt head of his cock against their hole before he was thrusting into them without warning. Their hands reached up to claw at his shoulders, despite his fingers they still felt the burn of his cock as it stretched them apart. “Holy fuck!”

He leaned his head down and kissed their neck, alternating between soft kisses and harsh sucks. Suddenly he pulled his hips back before slamming forward with so much force that they were pushed up the bed a little. He set up a punishing pace, and it felt like they were getting bruised from the inside.

One of his hands trailed up to their neck and squeezed tight enough to constrict their breathing. Their hands automatically reached up to grab his wrist, your body’s default reaction; but he kept his grip strong while he continued to ram into them.

They were pulsating around him and everything felt heightened by the lack of oxygen.

“You gonna come?” Alex grunted into their ear. He was slamming into them hard, fast, and oh so deep. Their body was being forced to accommodate him and it was the best feeling in the world.

White spots started dancing across their vision and they felt themselves veer towards the edge. Suddenly he pushed in as deep as he could and ground his hips into their clit. They were coming before they even realized what was happening, and his hand loosened around their neck to let them breathe again. After they had calmed down he began a quick pace of shallow thrusts, and it didn’t take him long to come after they had squeezed him so tightly before.

“Fuck, Soren,” he panted against their neck, and they felt streams of his cum paint their insides. It was the best reward they could have gotten. After he finished, he pulled out and rolled onto his side, keeping them in his arms. “You good?”

“Fuck yeah I’m good.”

#sugar daddy alex 💸#mlm #smut #m4m #here it is #i hope that anon's happy #and i hope alex is happy too

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scoopsahoy · 4 years

Note

Maybe reader listening to Steve give Dustin relationship advice in 'The Spy' and in 'The gate' and they're basically just really confused?

ぺ word count ⋰ 1k

✰ tw ⋰ none :)

❍ cw ⋰ swearing

✐ masterlist

⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★

You followed close behind the unexpected duo of Steve Harrington and Dustin Henderson, helping them lay down raw meat on the train tracks, still not grasping the concept of what they were doing.

You knew they were trying to attract some creature, but what it was still wasn’t clear. But you and Steve were supposed to hang out that day, so you went with him.

The yellow gloves made your hands sweaty, and your feet were aching. The bucket handle was hurting your fingers, and the smell of the raw meat hurt your nose.

“All right, so let me get this straight,” Steve said as you lingered behind. “You kept something you knew was probably dangerous in order to impress a girl who... who you just met?”

“All right, that’s grossly oversimplifying things.”

“I mean, why would a girl like some nasty slug anyway?”

“An interdimensional slug? Because it’s awesome.”

“Well, even if she thought it was cool, which she didn’t, I-I just... I don’t know. I just feel like you’re trying way too hard.”

“Well, not everyone can have your perfect hair, all right?”

You rolled your eyes at the hair joke.

“It’s not about the hair, man. The key with girls is just... acting like you don’t care.”

You raised your eyebrows, stopping in your tracks for a few seconds as you processed his advice.

“Even if you do?”

“Yeah, exactly. It drives them nuts.”

“No, it doesn’t,” you corrected, shaking your head.

Steve groaned before directing his attention back at Dustin.

“Then what?” Dustin said.

“You just wait until, uh... until you feel it.”

“Feel what?”

“It’s like before it’s gonna storm, you know? You can’t see it, but you can feel it, like this, uh... electricity, you know?”

“Oh, like in the electromagnetic field when the clouds in the atmosphere-”

“No, no, no, no, no. Like a... Like a sexual electricity.”

“Oh.”

“You feel that, and then you make your move.”

“So that’s when you kiss her?”

“No,” you and Steve said in unison.

“Whoa, whoa, slow down, Romeo.”

“Sorry.”

“Sure, okay, some girls, yeah, they want you to be aggressive. You know, strong, hot and heavy, like a... I dunno, like a lion. But others, you gotta be slow, you gotta be stealthy, like a... like a ninja.”

“What type is Nancy?”

“Nancy’s different. She’s different than the other girls.” Another eye roll came from you as you tried — rather unsuccessfully — to block their conversation out.

“Yeah, she seems pretty special, I guess.”

“Yeah, yeah, she is.”

After Steve told Dustin how to style his hair and pick up girls, you pulled him aside as the small one kept walking.

“Listen, Steve, I know you’re trying to be helpful, but maybe you shouldn’t be giving sex advice to a fourteen-year-old boy.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because he’s fourteen.”

“So?”

You sighed. “Well, telling him to prance like a lion while being stealthy like a ninja... that’s not the way to pick up girls.”

“Worked for me.”

“Yeah? And how many of them were just hookups?” He didn’t answer. “Look, you’re my best friend, and I love you, but maybe you should leave the advice to me. A girl.”

He nodded. “Okay. I guess I’ll just tell him to talk to you if he has questions.”

“Good.” After a few seconds of silence, you smiled. “Farrah Fawcett spray?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. And, like I told him, if you tell anyone I told you that, you’re dead, Y/L/N.”

“Yeah, got it. I’ll keep your dirty little secret.”

—

You sat in the backseat of Steve’s car, helping him chaperone Dustin to the Snowball dance. When he parked, you leaned forward and rested your elbows on the seats.

Getting a good look at Dustin’s attempt at a mullet made you chuckle to yourself.

“What?” he asked you in an offended tone.

“Nothing, you just look like a dork.”

He rolled his eyes before Steve got his attention.

“All right, buddy, here we are. So, remember, once you get in there-”

“Pretend like I don’t care.”

“You don’t care.”

“I don’t care!”

You rolled your eyes. You were honestly shocked that Dustin was taking his advice, despite you warning him that it wouldn’t work, especially on Max.

“There you go. You’re learning, my friend. You’re learning.”

Dustin adjusted the rearview mirror to check his hair one last time before Steve fixed it back.

“Hey,” Steve exclaimed.

“What?”

“Come on. You look great, okay? You look... You look great. Okay? Now you’re gonna go in there...”

“Yeah.”

“Look like a million bucks.”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re gonna slay ‘em dead.”

“Like a lion.” He purred at Steve, showing off his teeth. You both gave him a confused look, Steve inhaling sharply through his teeth.

“Yeah... Don’t do that, okay?”

“Okay.”

Steve stuck his hand out and they shook. “Good luck.”

Dustin nodded before you got his attention. “If I were you, I’d just be nice to her. You’re a charming kid, Dustin. You’ll get any girl’s attention, especially with that... hairdo.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I know so. And don’t act like you don’t care, girls hate that shit. If you like her, she deserves to know. Just ask her to dance, and I’m sure she’ll say yes.”

He nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem. Like Steve said, go slay ‘em dead.”

He opened the door and got out before you climbed over the seat and plopped down next to Steve. You both watched him walk in before you looked at him to see he was staring at you.

“What?” you asked.

“You ruined my advice.”

“Good. It was awful advice,” you joked. You watched his eyes travel inside, and you looked to see if you could find what caught his attention.

You saw Nancy at the punch table, her hair curled in tight ringlets, wearing a plaid dress. She looked beautiful, but seeing him still gushing over her made you sigh.

You waved a hand in front of his face, breaking his focus.

“Hey, Romeo, you wanna stop staring like a creep?”

He looked at you. “Sorry.”

“Now, are we going through a drive-thru like you promised? I’m starving.”

“Yeah, sure. If you admit my advice was good.”

“Well, I guess I’ll just starve,” you said in a fake defeated tone.

You both laughed before he put his car in drive and you rode off towards a restaurant still open.

#fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #imagine #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x reader fanfic #steve harrington x reader fanfiction #steve harrington x reader imagine #steve harrington x reader fluff #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fluff #stranger things imagine

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rpmemesbyarat · 3 years

Conversation

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 6 "Seven Minutes in Hell" (Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

Everyone would immediately assume the killer is me.

Are you one of those idiot savants who's heavy on the idiot, light on the savant?

I am simply a victim of my times.

Are you aware your pants are on backwards?

Then whose fault is it?

I am never talking about anything ever again!

Yeah, super sorry about what happened down there.

Why are you laughing?

What about that fit you threw down there?

You're not mad at me?

Oh, I meant everything I said about you.

I still think you're useless. I'm just not sad about it.

You never, ever want to be the boss in a time of extreme crisis.

As soon as you become the boss, you get a target on your back, from the feds, the other families, ambitious underlings.

Sure, seems like you have all the power, but you also take on the most risk.

Oh, don't judge me for trying to stay alive.

Do not give an inch.

What's your game here?

I trust you about as far as I can throw you.

I know we don't know who the killer is, but we know it traces back to this house.

There are two things that always happen at a slumber party; someone experiments with lesbianism and secrets are revealed.

We can create situations and scenarios to really prime the pump.

We'll lock everybody up overnight, and we're bound to find out something.

A slumber party sounds fun.

Let's play spin the bottle.

Someone always goes lesbian.

We're playing spin the damn bottle.

Why spin the bottle?

That is not a nasty rumor. That is a true rumor.

So I propose a panty raid.

You taste like wax.

I guess we have to kiss.

You're a great kisser.

Was I interrupting you?

I was just practicing looking disinterested.

I'm pretty sure I was born without that part of the brain that actually feels stuff.

We have so much in common.

I'm starting to think we have something very important and specific in common.

My sex life up until this point is what you'd call unusual.

I think the only way to be sure of your feelings is if you let me gently rub your uterus right now.

When I love someone, it drives them insane.

Believe me when I say that if it was possible for me to feel anything I would totally be crying right now.

That doesn't seem healthy.

All the doors are locked solid. Windows, too. Upstairs and down.

I decided to have the whole house turned into a panic room.

But wait, doesn't that mean that there's some sort of switch somewhere to deactivate it?

I hate being trapped in small places.

There's only one reason why the killer would do something like this-- to pick us off one by one.

Guess it's just a matter of time before one of us or all of us ends up dead.

You have to help us.

Look, I'm prepared to say I'm sorry I did that.

What I'm not prepared to do is say the sex was bad.

Yeah. I'm not gonna apologize for that one.

I'm about to get murdered, so can you please just hang up and get over here?

How on earth are we supposed to get in if all the doors and windows are locked?

Dude, we climb up the ladder, break the windows upstairs, save all the girls, climb back down, then it's vagina city for all of us.

Why would you bomb-proof upstairs windows? For what, like, a flying bomb?

Don't be an idiot.

It's hero time.

Save me and I'm yours forever.

I'm not really sure I'm ready for that level of commitment.

Break the glass!

Stand back, fair maiden.

Give him the dignity of watching him die.

Someone in this house definitely knows who the killer is.

It's truth or dare time.

Whatever it takes to stop the douche that's trying to kill everybody.

I mean, do you ever just stop and ask yourself if we can actually pull this off?

Maybe we all just need to get out of here.

The best way to avoid a shark attack is to not go in the water.

We all have a crisis of faith sometimes.

Maybe you're hiding something.

I'd pick truth and then just lie.

If you want to lie, you can just pick dare.

That's the whole point of truth or dare. You can't lie.

Does your vagina have teeth?

I'm not lying.

My vagina doesn't have teeth.

Does your vagina still have teeth?

So it used to have teeth, but you got them removed?

So your vagina still has teeth.

Sounds like you're trapped in a web of lies.

You're forfeiting your turn, bitch.

Okay, I guess it's my turn, then.

You promised you wouldn't tell.

Sorry. I had to tell the truth.

Of course you're the killer.

I propose we take a little break, You know, take a whiz, get a refill.

You know what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ever trusted you.

I wanted to talk about the other thing you said, about how you thought you had feelings for me.

The only feelings I have for you now are rage and pissed offedness.

Now go sit in that bathtub and think about what you've done. And try not to rub one out, okay?

Come on! I said I was sorry!

If anybody's down here, please don't jump out at me.

Is that blood?

Wait. If you're gonna kill me, at least show me who you are first.

I knew it. I knew it was you.

Please. You don't have to do this. I could help you.

There's never any food in there. Just laxatives.

I got the impression that you and I are on the verge of being the next "it" couple.

See, this is the problem with texting, you know? You can't hear the context.

Even though I decided to not wear a bra, you haven't been staring at my shirt raisins once.

Okay, look, I was waiting to talk to you about this 'cause secretly I was hoping you'd be killed and I wouldn't have to hurt your feelings.

I just don't think it would work out with us.

You're nuts, and not like a typical crazy-eyes co-ed, but wake-up-with-my penis-in-a-jar lunatic.

I love space mountain. Best ride at Disneyland. But I love my penis more.

Number one-- I never take second place. And number two-- I don't stop till I get what I want.

Was that salad spinner hitting on you?

I am super turned on from her, and I need some sweet release.

Is there any, like, Crisco or cooking oil here? Just, like, dry handies bum me out.

I propose we treat ourselves to a little heaven. Seven minutes in heaven.

Whatever your plan was, it isn't working.

Would you like to pat the little man in the canoe?

I want to take our relationship to the next level.

I want us to be together, but I want it to mean something.

I love boning girls all over this great land. But really, at the end of the day, I just kind of want to bone one girl. Like, that one special girl.

I just didn't think that girl was you. Because, obviously, there's so much wrong with you.

Will you get back together with me?

I would consider taking you back under one condition.

You have to pinky-pledge that you will be monogamous to me.

You will not have sex with anyone else. Do you understand me?

Dude, she looks like prepackaged meat from the supermarket.

Oh, god, has someone checked on the kids?

Pretty convenient that you're the one who found the body.

You're the darkest bitch of them all.

Those are some serious accusations, and they make no sense.

I would be opening myself up to a lot of trouble if I were to turn you in to the authorities.

It doesn't do any of us any good to start accusing each other with no evidence.

I suggest that we just have someone stand guard and watch me for the rest of the night, or until someone else dies, therefore proving that I am not the killer.

This feels so good.

I tried to scream, but nothing came out!

Interesting. That's all I'm gonna say. Interesting.

There is a trapdoor with, like, a tunnel system.

But wait, there are secret tunnels in this house perfect for a killer to use, and you neglected to tell us?

That's a little suspicious.

We are losing sight of the big picture here.

I'm not going down there. I do not dig on cobwebs, and I'm guessing there are loads of cobwebs down there.

If you get murdered in those tunnels, I promise I will never bang anyone harder than I banged you.

You're so rich and hot.

These are the nicest secret tunnels I've ever seen.

Wow. What amazing legacies they all have. What do you think ours will be?

If we can get through this year without everyone getting killed, I think we'll go down as the greatest of them all.

You came back for me.

Purely selfish.

You are probably the worst cop ever.

Wait, where are we going?

I won't go!

In three seconds, I'm gonna pick you up and carry you out of here.

I just kind of came over here because I farted over there and it smelled bad.

Wait, you're a lesbian?

Basically, I'm in love with love.

The next time I feel love for someone, I'm going to tell them. Right away. Just in case they're murdered before I can.

I just feel like I'm never gonna find a guy who likes me.

I'm a freak.

Nobody actually likes me.

You are totally gonna find another guy.

They're custom-made pink nunchaku.

Thank you for making that announcement that no one cared about.

No slumber party is finished without a kickass dance party.

This is so wonderfully random.

What a great way to pretend all these people we know weren't brutally murdered.

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #roleplay memes #scream queens

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

La fin

Inspired by this ask.

Present day Duff and Vivian reflect on their romantic relationship

I sat down with my best friend to discuss our affair for the first time in 26 years…and gain a final piece of closure the two of us have yet to attain from one another.

"This is gonna be interesting because both of our spouses are here." I say as I sit down, at my kitchen bar and Duff takes a sip of his water before joining me.

"Nah, Su's as cool as a cucumber. We got this." He replies. "...I don't know about Sixx but me, you and Su can handle it." He teases.

"If you get war flashbacks, baby, just remember you're sober." I tell Nikki and he chuckles.

"I'll just go to the bathroom and sing 'Kumbaya'." Nikki adds and Susan laughs.

"It won't be that bad." She assures him. "I got my waterproof mascara on. I'm ready."

"I'm getting through this without crying." I state.

"You cry over google commercials, Viv." Duff informs me.

"Because they know how to market. This happened…" I have to do the math. "...thirty-two and a half years ago. I won't cry."

"Okay, well, just in case, I came prepared." Susan tosses me a pack of Kleenex.

"Thank you." I say to her, doubting I'll need it.

"I'm about to start the camera." Nikki tells us, going to press start on the camera he's got set up to film this. "Oh, it's already started." He states.

"It's okay, people won't care." I shrug, taking a sip of my Pepsi. "Okay, Hey, Guys." I say to the camera. "This is a very special occasion because I'm here with my best friend, and the father of my first child, Michael Andrew McKagan a.k.a Duff McKagan a.k.a Daddy McKagan according to some of you nasty, freaky, bastards." I pipe and Duff rubs his face.

"Oh my God." He chuckles.

"Do you read your instagram comments?" I remind him and he nods.

"It's just so weird to hear it in real time." He explains. "I think that's one of the most odd things you can call a sexual partner. Like…'daddy'..."

We just stare at each other for a moment and I look at the camera.

"He just single handedly dragged me in the nicest way possible." I say to him as Nikki and Susan try not to laugh.

"No, I jus--well, you can say whatever the hell you wanna say and call him whatever you wanna call him because you've earned it with the shit you've been through, but it's just odd for me to go online and there's, like, girls 30 years younger than me calling me 'daddy.' Like, I'm not sure if you realize this, sweetie, but I have daughters your age." He points out and I start laughing. "I-I could actually be your dad. Careful now."

"I think Vince has a higher chance of being these horny girls' father." I state.

"I know, but it's just food for thought, you know?" He shrugs.

"I don't even know how to transition from that to the topic--which is a serious topic, but this is just...oh my gosh." I giggle out, not able to stop.

"Speaking of 'food for thought'," He creates a transition for us to go into what we're talking about and I take the opportunity.

"Yes, we will be discussing our weird relationship-but-not-really-because-I-was-married-and-confused situationship in honor of my book coming out 'Verbatim: The Truth, The Whole Truth, & Nothing Left Unsaid', which tells everything that happened from 1981, to early 2000s, that people have already read about in everybody else's books." I explain. "I've had this, 'it isn't anybody's business' mindset and now, I feel like I'm in a place where I can tell what happened, including our thing--which is something, believe it or not, we have not talked about as much as people think we have."

"No, we haven't."

"I don't know exactly why we haven't spoken about it much, like it happened, it obviously happened because we got a son out of it...we just haven't acknowledged it happened, really. Which is why we're gonna ask the tough questions and hopefully get through some stuff."

"Which is nice because I honestly think the last time we even alluded to it was 1994, right after I got sober, and was advised to resolve things in my friendships, and even then we didn't get everything out there." He replies. "At least I didn't, and I feel like a lot of people have something to say about it, and we spent so many years letting other people define what that time was to us--which it was such a private and personal thing between the two of us that other people's two cent shouldn't have had the impact on us that it did--but we let it get to that point where we lost sight of what it meant to us and let it be defined however the fuck people wanted to call it. And that wasn't good for either of us, and I think that's one of the things that's kept me from bringing it up again. Especially now that, ya know, I'm married, have two grown daughters with Susan, you have Nikki and your children, and I've always thought there's no point in bringing something up that happened--like you said--thirty-two, almost thirty-three--years ago.

"Because you don't want to hear the b.s."

"Because I don't want to hear the b.s." He agrees. "But the more I've thought about it, there are parts of me that feels like I didn't get to say what I wanted to say when we decided to go separate ways, and that just gets fucking heavier and heavier with each year, and I'm sure you might, too."

"Oh, definitely." I agree completely, able to relate to it. "I feel like one of the main reasons for me, why I haven't tried to talk to you about it is because, like you said, people will automatically start something out of absolutely nothing, but also because I felt like I never had the right to." I state and he furrows his brows a little. "Why did you wait so long to tell me how you really felt about me?

He lets out a breath before thinking a moment.

"I refused to hinder what little happiness you had left in your relationship with Nikki. I knew you guys were struggling, I knew you were fighting like hell to get your relationship back on track, and I didn't want you to have any more confusion going on than what was already being put on you and if I would have told you how I felt, that would've done that. And then I was with Mandy for a while and that kinda helped me feel like I was over those feelings, but I realized I wasn't when she and I broke up."

"Did anybody else know about how you felt or..?"

"Well, I--yeah, Stevie thought it was just a little, like, I had a crush on you, but Izzy knew I loved you...which is why he wasn't shocked when they found out about us." He says. "...Of course he wasn't surprised because all the Nikki/Vanity stuff happened, so he was kinda expecting you to do something, which--okay, I don't know how to ask this." He admits, thinking of how to word it, glancing at Nikki.

"What?" I ask him.

"I just don't want to come across as an asshole for asking this because I'm assuming it's a lot deeper than just...okay, whatever, I'm asking it." He decides.

"Okay." I prepare for it and he sighs.

"Why did it take that level of public humiliation for you to realize you weren't in a good marriage?" He asks and it nearly makes the breath leave my body, Nikki and I looking at each other.

"Because it was public." I confess. "Everything else that had been done, had been done in private. There was no public input on it, there was nobody watching the situation unfold under a microscope, everything that happened up to that point was private. So, he could trip during a crack binge and shoot me and I could stay with him because I didn't have the public watching me, giving their opinions. But when his mistress announces it on TV, I can't just gloss over that because now everybody knows and has an inkling that 'uh oh, they're not this perfect relationship they've made people believe they are' and yes we came out and said it was a lie and tried to undo that damage that Denise caused, so physically I was still in the marriage, mentally I was drawing up divorce papers. And I'm not completely sure it was just the very public aspect of it, I think it was the fact it was her. And I realized, 'I can't compete with a woman who has absolutely everything about her that Nikki is addicted to: she knows how to have a good time, she's equally as wild as him, she's got the sex appeal, she's got all the drugs, she's on the same level as him in terms of entertainment industry' just everything that I wasn't...she was. And I was too exhausted at the point to try to compete with her so I gave up when that came out."

"I remember Izzy ranting, 'she's fucking comparing herself to Vanity and there's no reason to'." He impersonates Izzy and I chuckle.

"He drilled into my head for years to follow that I was fine the way I was, I didn't need to change anything about my looks, my personality, my hobbies, my sobriety, like it was like 'The Help' when she's constantly reassuring the little girl 'you is smart, you is kind, you is important'." I quote. "Anytime Izzy could see me struggling with myself or not feeling my best he'd be like 'seventeen outta ten, Viv. Seventeen.'"

Duff looks enlightened, and points to the space behind my right ear.

"That's why've got '17' right there." He realizes and I nod. "In his writing." He adds.

"In his writing." I confirm.

"That's--wow. I didn't know you struggled with that for so long because there was no competition." He assures me.

"Well, I already had shitty self-esteem and then that made it worse, and then even when you and I were together I still had this fear a little bit that you were only with me to help yourself get over Mandy."

"Abso-fucking-lutely not." He doesn't even think before saying and I feel myself tear up a little. "No way. No freaking way. I loved you, Viv, I really, really did. When you told me that you were filing as soon as the tour was over I started planning out our lives together, as crazy or cheesy that makes me seem, like, I was really going for it." He tells me.

"Duff." I feel guilty, my heart aching a little.

"I remembered, 'okay, she wants this many kids, she says she likes dogs but really wants a cat, too, she doesn't want to live in the middle of the city, she doesn't want an over-the-top house, she wants to go back to school at some point so I'll put away some savings for that', like, I was planning out everything and fitting Guns N' Roses in wherever there was time in that whole plan. I was ready to be with you and start a life with you. I really, really was." He adds and I see Susan's sympathy for him, only adding to my guilt.

"Well, just rip my heart out, why don't you?" I ask him to add some relief and Susan giggles, her bright smile coming back to her lips.

"Right?" She asks. "Geez, babe."

"I'm just saying." Duff tells us.

"Nikki didn't even plan his days out when he woke up back then, and then you were there with a calculator adding up how much money you probably needed to put away for my schooling."

"We wouldn't have had any money to go to school, anyway, Viv, 'cause it was all going to taxes and heroin." Nikki points out and I think for a moment.

"And house payments."

"And house payments." He agrees as I look back to Duff, who looks like he's thinking about something.

"Okay, sorry if this is a weird question, but what did you mean you felt like you had 'no right' to talk about our relationship?"

"Okay, well, we broke up, I was working on things with Nikki, you married Mandy four months after we broke up...I felt like 'okay, you've already gotten your husband back, he's gotten Mandy back, they're married, who the--' pardon my french ''--fuck are you to bring up your relationship and how it affected your friendship when you're both married to other people and doing your own things? Who are you to be worried with your time with him when you're with Nikki and he's got a wife, now?'."

"Ohh, yeah. Yeah." He knows what I'm talking about, nodding. "So, you kinda felt like it was disrespectful to dwell on it too long." He adds.

"Exactly. And I didn't want to disrespect Nikki, or Mandy, or Linda, and now Susan, by trying to work on us again, as friends, because we are exes, whether we want to admit it, we are. We dated. And I feel like it's easy to forget that sometimes because it was so long ago and that freaking sucks because I don't want…" My voice cracks and he looks at me pointedly as tears come to my eyes and I take a deep breath. "...I don't want to forget that time. And I'm not trying to be rude to my marriage or yours or make it seem like I still have those feelings for you, because I don't, but I don't want to forget there was a time in that hellacious cycle my life was in at that moment, that for a few months, I was genuinely happy in the midst of my life falling apart." I explain, sniffling. "And that wouldn't have been the case, if not for you. And I don't want to forget that."

"Vivian." He says as I grab at a tissue and I see Susan knuckle a tear in her tear duct.

"I don't know, it just felt like there was never a right time to address what happened fully because everything was happening so fast in our personal lives, for you and Guns, for Nikki and the band, I started having kids, and you got married a second time and your drinking was worse and worse, so it just never happened."

"Can I ask you something else?" He says and I nod. "When do you think we should have said, 'look, we were together, it happened, and it's okay'. Because we avoided it like the plague for years and still do at times, and that's practically due to--like I said earlier--listening to how people defined it. Like you were called a 'whore' and a 'slut' and just awful shit in public and in papers and tabloids for years after it happened and I feel like because of that, there was that element of 'we should be ashamed of ourselves and just pretend it never fucking happened' surrounding it, even though we had Monroe who's breathing proof of what happened at some point, but we just treated it as if we adopted him together as friends or something like--" I laugh, wiping a tear, and he laughs with me for a few seconds. "--it's the truth, though, we never talked about our relationship. We went on Howard Stern in '88 right after Monroe was born, and he grilled us about it, but we just shut the fuck down after that and didn't speak of anything again for a couple years until we got in that fight over you limiting my time with Monroe, and then again in '94, and that was it--and none of those times really accomplished anything. At all."

"We should have had that conversation before you got married to Mandy that May." I point out.

"That was so, so soon." He smiles nervously. "That was too soon, way too soon, to get married."

"You proposed to her the day after we broke up." I recall and he nods.

"I sure did. I sure as hell did. So stupid." He states. "I learned not to make important decisions when I'm in pain. 'Cause I married two different women when I was going through some painful stuff and only made it worse." He explains.

"And see that's the thing because you had me completely convinced you wanted Mandy. Like I felt so much better when we broke up, knowing you were with who you really wanted to be with, and I was with who I wanted to be with, and then I found out in an argument with you that you were miserable and married Mandy to try to make yourself excited about being back together with her."

"And that's exactly why I told you that because I needed you to be happy and if I would have told you how I really felt about you, you wouldn't have been happy because you would've felt guilty for staying with Nikki and fixing things with him. And I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I would have put you through that so I married Mandy so fast because I was hurt, and I thought I loved her as much as I loved you, and I held on to that and ran with it." He tells me. "Why wasn't I good enough for you to stay?"

I go to answer, before the weight of what he's asking really hits me, and several tears topple down my cheeks before I'm wiping them away.

"I can't begin to put into words how highly you surpassed 'good enough'." I inform him when I finally speak. "Um, my decision to stay with Nikki had absolutely nothing to do with you. That was all me, and issues I thought were resolved within myself that weren't resolved at all, I was just ignoring them." I say. "And something in me was telling me not to stay with you...and I fully believe that was God telling me to back the hell off because he had a plan for you and I had no business accompanying you in that plan as your significant other." I explain. "And I hate to say this, but I really feel like we would have gotten divorced."

His eyes widen and his brows raise, a knowing smile on his lips as his nods his head.

"And I hate to think that but we would have made it, maybe, up until '92 because I wasn't even your wife or your girlfriend but just being around you made me so miserable." I admit. "I-It was like--you would get up and start drinking until you passed out that night. I was watching the person who had his shit together the most in my life, fall apart, and that was scary for me because we had a son who was witnessing his dad spiral."

"Yeah." He rubs his lips together.

"And getting you to take accountability for what you were doing was like trying to bathe a cat." I add.

"And it took me months after getting sober to evaluate what went wrong in my life with the band, what went wrong in my relationships, what went wrong in my parenting with Monroe, what went wrong in my friendship/co-parentship with you, and own up to what I played a part in because none of it imploded on it's own, or just because of other people, like I played a part in all of it, too, and admitting that took a lot of time to swallow my pride and just accept that I became the very thing I got pissed at Nikki for being, years prior to that, and saying, 'okay, I made all those mistakes, I fucked up, how can I do better and learn from it to better myself, to better my friendships, to better my relationship with my son, and just do what I'm supposed to do?' And I even ended up going to Nikki, and apologizing for what happened between us," he motions between me and him, "because even before you and him were separated over the Vanity thing, knowing you went to me for shit, over him, made him feel less than, made him feel like he wasn't a good enough husband and I kinda felt the same way when he stepped up for Monroe when I was going through my drinking, and it made me feel like I wasn't adequate enough as a father because Monroe was leaning a bit more on him than he was on me, and for the shit I was going through in my life with my alcoholism and drugs, I was doing the best I could do as a dad. And it made me realize that Nikki was doing the best he could do as a husband back when he was in the thick of his heroin addiction, because he was sick and couldn't fucking help himself, just like I was sick and couldn't help myself, and neither of us wanted to hear we had a problem, neither of us wanted help. And I know people are gonna, 'well, Nikki cheated and was mean to her and this and that', I know what you looked like when Nikki was hurting you. I know the look you would get on your face...I know that I hurt you as much as Nikki did through my drinking because you would look at me the way you would look at him when you weren't recognizing the person in front of you due to how royally they had fucked themselves up."

"Yes." I nod, not even arguing.

"And that fucking hurt to realize that I was hurting you as bad as he had, and I remembered getting so pissed at him for doing that back in '86/'87 as he got worse, but then I did it, too, and that experience really opened my eyes when I got sober because I wouldn't have been humbled in that way had I not had a drinking addiction and reached that low, and I do think that's one of the reasons that was allowed to happen to me." He finishes and I take a deep breath before asking:

"If Monroe wouldn't have been conceived, if we wouldn't have had a child to come out of our relationship, knowing what we know now, how we ended up not staying together, the public slander and stuff we had to go through...would you still have had a relationship with me, if you could go back and change it?"

"Without a doubt, yes." He says, matter-of-fact. "It would have been a waste of a blessing to not have taken the opportunity to love someone as recklessly--maybe even stupidly, at times--unconditionally, with the magnitude I loved you with, at such a young age. Like, usually you can expect to find something like what we had when people get a little older, and get through all their bullshit relationships before finding the person that loves them for them fully, but I had the chance of experiencing that when I was, like, in my early twenties...and I didn't experience that again, and so much more, until I met Susan." He says and I nod. "And I don't want you to think that because we haven't spoken about it, maybe as much as we should have, that I'm ashamed of you or us or embarrassed, because I'm not proud that we did what we did in that timing--because it was really shitty timing and we both can agree on that, I think," he raises his brows and I agree, "but I will never be ashamed, or apologetic, or embarrassed that I ever had that with you. I felt like one of the most fortunate people to even know you, and then to have that relationship we had--even for the few months it lasted--was just...it was such a short time compared to how long you've been with Nikki and how long I've been with Su, but we spent it loving each other the best that we could. And we really did love each other, and we do still love each other--even if it's not in that same way, the spirit of it, I guess, is still there. There's still that 23 year old kid in me that'll kick somebody's ass over you, and wants to see you happy, and is in absolute love with you. And don't get me wrong, there's a 56 year old me that wants to see you happy and that'll still kick somebody's ass over you." He clarifies, making me laugh. "I'm just pointing out that even when those feelings went away, I don't think that bond ever did."

"Yeah." I nod, sniffling as I press a tissue to under my eye to catch more tears. "Do you, um...do you remember our break up?"

He exhales and gives me a little smile, nodding, before tears come to his eyes.

"I--yeah, I...I remember it…" He informs me.

"We had just gotten done messing around, and if we did anything before we went to bed we would just stay in bed and go to sleep, but if we did anything in the afternoon or whatever we'd get up shortly after and clean up and go about the day. And we got done, it was, like, 2:00pm, and it was this odd feeling in the midst of it that 'this is gonna be the last time we ever do this with one another', and neither of us said a word, we just laid there with each other for four hours when we were done, taking in every second that we could. Well I finally got up to go back home and check on Nikki because he had OD'd the night before." I explain.

"And you went to the door to leave and I stopped you, and was like, 'I know you're going to make things right with Nikki, and I'm going to fix things with Mandy, and I want you to know that I love you, and I'm proud of you, and I always will and always will be'. Of course you can understand me a little better now because I was crying when I choked those out, but, um," he laughs and I smile back more tears. "And you said, 'thank you, I love you, Duff' and gave me a kiss and a hug and then you were gone."

"And we rarely spoke about it, again."

"And we rarely spoke about it, again." He confirms and I let out a breath, feeling more tears swell in my eyes. "What a fucking way to end a relationship." He adds.

"This is where I'm really gonna start crying, um…" I start, chuckling nervously. "...I wasn't thanking you for being understanding, I was thanking you for everything that you'd done for me, and it took me a while to understand that that was one of the things I felt like was unresolved because that 'thank you' had a lot of weight behind it." I tell him.

"Okay." He tells me, listening intently.

"This is so freaking stupid and unhealthy but I wrote suicide notes for when Nikki finally OD'd and died, because I knew if he were to go, I'd have to go with him, I couldn't live without him." I tell him and he looks a shocked. "You taught me that I could live without him when I didn't think that I could, and you brought me so much peace and rest in a time when I couldn't remember the last time I was at peace, and I sure as hell couldn't get any rest. And I felt, and still feel, so indebted to you for those months that you spent trying your hardest to fix what you didn't break--you risked your career over me, you protected me, you defended me, you supported me, you loved me--and that's what I was thanking you for that day, and I feel like I've got a weight off my shoulders now because I have never told you that and I've always wanted to but didn't think it was a good time."

"Holy shit, Viv." He wipes a stray tear, and I see Susan doing the same, Nikki just smiling at me like he's glad I've gotten that weight off of me, because he knows I've been wanting to say it for years.

"And I'm sorry it was such a shitty breakup that kind of came out of nowhere."

"The way you were screaming and crying and begging God whenever we were trying to get Nikki to wake up, I knew if he lived you were gonna fix things. I was prepared for it, I promise." He assures me. "And I'm really glad we got to do this and get this out there with each other and I really hope you were able to get some closure with this, because I really did."

"I did, too." I nod, wiping more tears.

"I love you." He tells me as we get out of our chairs, giving me a quick, innocent, peck on the lips, before hugging me tightly.

"I love you, too."

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